Empty by Purpura Lipstick
Summary:




Who would have thought wanting to share love would become so difficult.


Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Brian
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: No Word count: 12592 Read: 20699 Published: 01/02/11 Updated: 05/02/12

1. Chapter 1 by Purpura Lipstick

2. Chapter 2 by Purpura Lipstick

3. Chapter 3 by Purpura Lipstick

4. Chapter 4 by Purpura Lipstick

5. Chapter 5 by Purpura Lipstick

6. Chapter 6 by Purpura Lipstick

7. Chapter 7 by Purpura Lipstick

8. Chapter 8 by Purpura Lipstick

9. Chapter 9 by Purpura Lipstick

10. Chapter 10 by Purpura Lipstick

11. Chapter 11 by Purpura Lipstick

12. Chapter 12 by Purpura Lipstick

13. Chapter 13 by Purpura Lipstick

Chapter 1 by Purpura Lipstick
Brian


“Reservation for Littrell,” Brian said to the maitre d'. The haughty looking woman scanned the pages in the book in front of her and nodded to herself before looking up and smiling at the couple standing in front of her.

“Yes, of course,” she motioned to another woman standing nearby. “Please show the Littrell's to their table.” The woman handed the significantly younger woman two menus and made a tiny 'shoo' motion with her hands before turning to the next couple standing behind Brian and his wife.

Brian could feel Laney slip her hand in his as they navigated their way through the restaurant to their table. When they arrived, it was Brian's turn to nod to himself, the table was perfect. Near a window with a beautiful view of the skyline. He pulled the chair out for his wife and caught a hint of her shampoo. He inhaled deeply, before moving to take his seat.

Almost immediately their waiter arrived and was questioning them about drink selections and giving them all the information about the chef's specials. Laney took charge to order a bottle of wine, she had the palate for wine, Brian couldn't tell the box stuff from the expensive bottles, but Laney, she enjoyed wine tastings and visiting vineyards.

“Laney,” Brian breathed her name out when they were finally alone. Her face lit up causing Brian to lose his train of thought. Her blond hair was loosely pulled back, allowing strands of hair to fall and frame her face. Her slight figure and porcelain skin was accented by the pale blue dress he knew she bought just for this night, their first anniversary.

“Can you believe it's already been a year?” She reached her hand across and placed it gently on top of Brian's, her touch still made his skin tingle.

“It seems like yesterday you were walking down that aisle towards me, after finally agreeing to become my wife. It only took me asking three times before you would say yes.” His smile turned into the playful smirk that Laney loved so much.

In return, she playfully slapped his hand. “We've been over this, asking me while I slept does not count as actually asking me.”

“I thought you were still awake, you didn't have your usual chainsaw snore so I can only assume you heard me and ignored me.” Brian looked up as the waiter returned and poured a sample of the wine, watched as Laney tasted it as she often did at tastings and nodded in approval. The server then continued to fill both of their glasses and set the bottle down.

“Are you ready to order?” He asked in almost an annoyed tone.

“We need a few more moments.” Brian answered readily, the waiter glared down at him with a look like he just smelled something rotten. He couldn't hold his chuckle when he caught a glimpse of Laney.

“Remind me why I wanted to come here?” She asked him.

“It's the newest, hottest spot in town and you just have to be in with all the fabulous people.”

“I suppose we should decide what we want to eat before he comes back, we wouldn't want to disappoint him even more.” Laney opened her menu and began to skim the different items. Brian watched her for a moment as she unconsciously started twirling one of the loose strands of hair around her finger as she read.

Flipping open his own menu, he read through the options. “Lobster B.L.T.?” He questioned.

“It's something different.” Laney shrugged, apparently having her own decision issues.

Brian sighed and went back to trying to find something to eat. Relief swept over him when he noticed that he could order steak and potatoes. He folded his menu, Laney did as well, and before the menus even touched the table, their waiter was back.

“What can I get you this evening?”

Brian proceeded to order his steak and listened as Laney ordered the same thing. The waiter made a scoffing noise as he took their menus and walked away.

“Where were we?” Brian asked.

“I believe you were insinuating that I snore like a chainsaw. You have yet to provide any physical evidence of this so-called snoring.” Laney realized she was twirling her hair and quickly dropped her hand back to the table.

“Snoring aside, this last year has been happier than I could ever have imagined.” he could see the tears beginning to well in her eyes, he quickly pulled the small package out of his pocket and set it on the table. “With all the love in my heart, I give this gift to you.” He pushed the package towards her.

“I thought we already gave each other our gifts Brian.”

“Yes, but I was saving this one for tonight.”

Laney lifted the package off of the table and slowly began to unwrap it. “If this is more jewelry Littrell, you will have to return it.” The bow was now off, the anticipation for Brian was mounting. He wanted her to rip open the package, to see what was inside and cry happily. The wrapping was now strewn on the table and Laney continued to open the box.

Laney gasped slightly as she lifted out the tiniest pair of baby booties. “Brian, I don't know what to say. Oh my, this is, this is …” She couldn't seem to finish her statement.

“I know we said we were going to wait longer, but we have so much love it's only fair that we share it with a child.”

“Yes.” was all she managed to get out before she stood and pulled Brian up and out of the restaurant. He should have waited, neither one of them was hungry for steak now.
Chapter 2 by Purpura Lipstick
Brian


Brian paced back and forth outside the bathroom door. “How much longer?” Brian shouted through the door to the other side where Laney sat waiting for the results of the first pregnancy test. Brian couldn't believe it had only been four months since their anniversary dinner when Laney announced that she was late. Unsure what she meant at first he questioned, “Late for what?”

“No, not that kind of late.” She walked over to him sitting in his lap. “My monthly visitor has not reared his ugly head.”

“Oh?”

Laney assumed her best teacher voice and looked him straight in his eyes, “Yes Mr. Littrell, when a woman misses her period it is a good indication that she could be pregnant.” A wide smile broke out on her face and he knew his own face was mirroring the smile, pulling her closer he pressed his lips firmly to hers.

“Have you done a test yet?” He asked, excited now that this could be happening so soon.

Laney grabbed hold of Brian's hand and pulled him up from his chair. “I need to go buy one, come with?” He nodded and soon they were standing at the end of the feminine needs aisle where the condoms, a variety of lubricating jellies and pregnancy tests were located.

Brian stood awkwardly as far away from the section as he could. “Why is it taking so long to decide on a test?” He asked after Laney put back a box of tests she had just been staring at for the last five minutes.

“I've never bought one before I want to make sure I get the right kind,” She turned to him, “do you have experience buying these?” she smirked at him. “Perhaps you can be of some assistance in the decision.”

With quick movements he stepped forward and grabbed the first box off the shelf and shoved it in Laney's hands. “Get this one, what does it matter?” He watched as Laney looked at the box and started to laugh hysterically.

“This one won't work?” She laughed.

“Why not, is it harder to pee on?” His hands were shoved in his pockets now and he had his shoulders hunched up trying desperately to hide himself from the attention Laney was bringing with her laughter.

“For starters, this is an ovulation test.” She looped her arm through Brian's and pulled him closer kissing his cheek. “You are cute when you are embarrassed. Why don't you go find some ice cream or something sweet to nibble on tonight and I will finish this and find you.” Brian all too happy to be released from standing there waiting.

He wanted to support Laney, but there was something about that section that made him feel uncomfortable. He made his way to the freezers and stared at the massive selection of ice cream. “Now this I can understand taking a lot of time to ponder to make sure you get the right one.” He said aloud to himself.

It wasn't long before they met back at the registers, Laney holding a box of tests, the first box she had in her hands Brian noticed and Brian holding a quart of “Chunky Monkey”.

They read the instructions carefully, it seemed simple enough to Brian. Laney would pee on the stick, three to five minutes later it would be confirmed that she was pregnant. If it were so easy, why was it seemingly taking so long?

Brian threw himself down on the bed and lay staring at the ceiling hands folded on his stomach waiting. At least waiting this way would not wear a whole in the carpet he thought. He closed his eyes for only a second when he heard the bathroom door open. Sitting up, it didn't take long for him to know the result from the look on Laney's face.

“It's a no then?” He stood and enveloped Laney in his arms. “Are you okay?” He asked, his face full of concern.

She punched him in response. “I'm only a couple of days late, maybe it's too soon.” Brian felt the warmth of her lips as she kissed him passionately. She walked him backwards towards the bed. “Nothing like practicing for next time.” She playfully shoved him onto the bed and grinned wickedly at him.

“After all, practice makes perfect.” he pulled Laney down on to the bed to join him.
Chapter 3 by Purpura Lipstick

Brian sat in the extra chair provided in the doctor's office. He watched as his wife scooted down on the table and spread her legs for the ultrasound technician. He turned his eyes to the screen waiting for the image appear, he didn't want to watch as the tech inserted the camera.

“Let me know if you are uncomfortable,” he heard the tech say. He wanted to answer that he was a bit uncomfortable with his wife spread eagle in front of a stranger, but he kept his mouth shut, the tech was surely talking to Laney.

He watched as an image started to appear of the screen, the image was black and white, it moved into a empty space and continued to zoom.

“Okay, I'm just going to zoom in now,” the woman said. Brian watched as a dark shape became more clear. Even though it was clearer on the screen he still had no idea what he was looking at.

“That, there,” the woman used a mouse to drag a circle around the object. “that is the ovary, and all of those surrounding it are cysts.”

Brian squeezed his wife's hand as the tech moved the camera to focus on the other ovary.

“This one has the same situation.” the picture froze on the screen. Brian sat staring at it as the lights to the room came on. “You can go ahead and get dressed,” the woman directed Laney. “I am going to take these pictures to your doctor so she can give you some advice on treatments.”

The room was sullen after the ultrasound technician left the room. Brian watched as Laney got her underwear and pants back on. Even though all the tests came back negative, Laney had refused to believe that she would randomly skip a period when she'd never missed one before.

She'd visited the doctor and had a blood test done, waiting patiently for the results. When the doctor called and confirmed that she was not pregnant and that they detected a slightly higher amount of testosterone than normal for a female in her blood, they called her in to confirm their diagnoses.

They moved back to the examination room where they both sat in silence. Brian wanted to comfort his wife, but what was he supposed to say. He'd thought it was kind of cool the look her ovaries had in the images, even though he knew that was not how they were supposed to look and it was probably not something she wanted to discuss. Instead, he sat staring at the chart showing the female reproductive organs. When he realized what he was looking at her shuddered and turned to look towards Laney who was watching him.

“You look uncomfortable,” she commented. “I told you I could have come alone.”

“No, I wanted to be here to support you,” He smiled at her, she returned it weakly.

A knock came on the door and Laney answered, calling the doctor into the room. The woman said hello and smiled to both of them as she moved to take her seat on the rolling stool in the room.

“So the ultrasound confirmed what I believed to be true with the blood work. Laney you have PCOS, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. As I explained before, it's not the end of the world when it comes to trying for children, it could only cause you to take more time to conceive.”

Brian took the information in, taking longer to conceive, that isn't so bad. It's not like she was being told she could never have kids.

The doctor continued, “There are a few things I can suggest at this time. You seem to be a fairly healthy weight, but it couldn't hurt to lose a few more pounds. Losing weight might not be the be all end all of solutions, but two common side effects the could develop from this condition are diabetes and heart conditions so it wouldn't hurt to move towards a healthier lifestyle.”

“It's something I've been meaning to do,” Laney spoke. Brian chuckled to himself internally. Laney was fond of her quick meals which tended to be meals that weren't necessarily the healthiest for you. He would look forward to her attempting to cook healthier meals, he couldn't see it lasting long no matter how hard she tried she just enjoyed some things too much to give up.

The doctor nodded, “We can also put you on Clomid.”

“We don't want fertility drugs, we don't want multiples.” Brian chimed in.

Again, the female doctor nodded, “Understandable, but the chances of multiples with Clomid is only slightly higher than your chances trying naturally. This drug affects your brain, not your ovaries. It 'tells' your brain to produce the progesterone needed for the ovary to release the egg.”

“What causes this?” Laney asked. “Could it be the birth control I've been on for the last two years?”

“We are not sure what causes PCOS but we are fairly confident it is not birth control. In fact, if you were not actively trying for children I would put you on birth control as a treatment.”

Laney looked at Brian and then back to the doctor. Before they made the appointment for the ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis, they were fairly sure what the doctor would be talking to them about and they had agreed to not use fertility drugs at this time.

“I think we will just give it a try naturally, at least for a little while longer. We've only been trying for a couple of months.” Laney answered.

“I know what it's like to want to conceive naturally, but don't discount the treatments as an option later.” The doctor asked them if they had any further questions and they shook their heads.

Brian drove them home, the car was quiet the entire time. “Laney, don't worry, I believe God will not turn his back on us and we will get pregnant soon.” Brian turned back to the road, hoping that his words were true.

End Notes:

Woke up today and my muse wanted to work on this story. I hope you enjoy, thanks for the reads and reviews so far.

Chapter 4 by Purpura Lipstick

 Brian wasn’t sure what he could do for Laney as the weeks passed.  Usuallly she was the strong one, the one who would tell him everything would be alright, but with the recent trip to the doctor she sunk into a depression.   He worried about leaving her alone when he went out of town to promote the Backstreet Boy’s latest album.   He was determined to help her mood before he needed to go anywhere.

“Laney, how about we go for a drive?” Brian asked one day.  Sometimes they liked to drive through the country and pretend they were house hunting again.

 “Sure,” she replied grabbing her sunglasses purse and Brian cringed as she grabbed a book.  He hoped they could talk or play a one of the many games they would play on long drives.  She started those when they would be traveling on his tour bus.   When she brought books it usually meant she wanted to be left alone.  He sighed but joined her in the car and turned towards one of their favorite housing developments. 

The drive was a silent one, Brian concentrated on the road and tried to ignore the fact that Laney’s back was to him and she was reading her book.

 “Laney, our house is for sale,” he shouted to her and practically slammed on the brakes.  He jumped out of the car and grabbed one of the flyers.  He stood looking at the house.  The gated driveway was several feet long that ended in a loop in front of the garage.   The steps leading to the front door also lead to a deck that wrapped around the house, a gazebo type sitting area located in the corner of the deck and house. 

From the street the house appeared to be a typical two story house, but when you walked the deck to the back of the house you were several feet off the ground; a walk-out basement entrance was located below the deck.   The house was painted a pale blue with dark blue shutters; those were Laney’s favorite part. 

Brian heard gravel crunching next to him and felt Laney’s hand enter his. He turned and smiled at his wife, a broad grin on her face.  “What do you say we give them a call?”

Laney squeezed Brian’s hand.  “It would be so great if we could get this house,” She leaned into his shoulder and stood looking at the house. 

Brian pulled out his cell phone and called his realtor, he was afraid if he waited the house would be unavailable.  After making an appointment for a viewing the couple stood for only a few seconds more, it was becoming eerie standing and staring at someone else’s house.

When they got back in the car, Brian was excited to see Laney put her book under the seat and turn forwards, her eyes were focused on the brochure he’d pulled from the real estate sign for the house, but at least she wasn’t reading a book.   Her eyes lifted from the paper and started to stare off into the distance.

Afraid she was retreating inwards again, Brian spoke, “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

 “What if we see the inside of the house and our dreams of owning it come crashing down? We love the outside, but have only seen these few pictures of the inside.” She indicated the paper.

 Brian reached over and squeezed her hand.  “We will love the inside, I just know it.” He smiled as they turned towards home.

The day arrived for them to view the house and though Brian thought he hid it better, neither one could contain their excitement.  Their realtor showed them around the many rooms the house had to offer.  The kitchen had everything Laney swore she would have with her next home.  Brian was enthralled with the entertainment room in the basement.   The bedrooms were the right size; the floor plan was everything they hoped. 

When the realtor left them alone to discuss things Brian could see Laney’s apparent happiness on her face, he was sure his face was grinning just as much back.

“It’s perfect,” her grin broadening, if that was possible.

 “It is pretty great,” he agreed. 

“There is even enough room that you will have plenty of rooms to choose from when I kick you out of bed at night after you and the guys decide to smoke cigars.”  The glint in her eye told him she was teasing.  It was good to have her back from the depression.

“It was one time,” he defended himself.

“Let’s put an offer in,” She had hold of both his hands and jumped them up and down a bit, she was definitely excited.

Brian waved towards the realtor, the guy came bounding back. Brian was reminded of a dog excited at a chance to play ball with his master.   He spoke numbers with the guy and he pulled out the official offer paperwork.  Laney and Brian signed the paperwork and as they left, they both crossed their fingers as they drove home.

Brian watched as Laney started to sort through boxes that they had shoved in the basement for years.  He was happy she had something to keep her distracted from her recent diagnosis.  He hoped he would hear back soon about the house and he hoped it would be positive.

“Shit!” Laney cursed causing Brian’s head to shoot her direction.  He thought maybe she got a cardboard cut from one of the boxes.  Instead he saw her curled up in a ball clutching her side, her face red with pain. 

“Laney?” Brian rushed to her side, his face full of worry.  “What’s wrong baby?” He asked caressing her head. 

“I don’t know, but it hurts…” She gripped her side tighter. 

“Can you stand?” He asked her, worry apparent on his face though he tried to keep his face strong for Laney.

She nodded and he helped her up. Soon they were sitting in his car as he rushed to the emergency room.

Chapter 5 by Purpura Lipstick

Brian checked Laney in shortly after they arrived, but with people in front of him they were asked to wait. Now Brian paced the waiting room, looking towards the entrance to the ER wondering when their name would be called. Laney sat with her legs up on the chair holding them to her chest. She had told him the pain was less if she added pressure. The nurse that checked her in felt that if she was able to put pressure on the area then chances were it wasn't appendicitis, so they had to wait.

“Laney Littrell?” The nurse from behind the counter called.

“Finally,” Brian muttered under his breath before turning around and helping Laney to her feet. They followed the nurse to a small examination room; there was no bed but a chair that reclined. The nurse directed Laney to take a seat then promptly left.

“So instead of waiting in pain out there, I get to wait in pain in here,” Laney let out an awkward laugh.

“Hopefully it won't be much longer,” Brian kissed his wife's forehead and stroked her hair. He felt at a loss watching her go through the pain and not knowing what, if anything he could do to make the pain go away. “Is there anything I can get you? Water?” He asked moving towards the sink grabbing a small plastic cup.

Laney shook her head, her face beet red from fighting back the pain. Brian moved to her side and rubbed her back and leg trying anything he could think of to ease her pain.

“I think I'm gonna be sick,” Laney blurted out as Brian looked around the room for something, anything that she could be sick in. Thankfully he found a plastic pan that looked to be there for that exact reason. He grabbed it and gave it to Laney just in time. He turned his head as he heard the retching noise his wife was making.

Brian heard a soft knock and called out for the person to enter. The doctor entered the room and Brian heard the beginnings of “How are we...” come out of his mouth before he noticed Laney hovering over the bucket.

“Do you think you can handle a few brief tests?” The doctor asked sitting on a chair next to Laney's.

Laney was unable to answer as she bent over in pain the moment he asked the question. Brian felt helpless, he continue to hold the pan for her and ran his fingers through her hair, but he didn't know what else he could do, he was really starting to worry.

“Let's just get you moved to a back room, kay?” The doctor took the pan and held it as Brian helped Laney stand and walk to the new room. He must have left it there or dumped it; the pan that was handed back to Laney in the back room had nothing in it.

“Hop on up here. Do you have any allergies?” the doctor patted the table and Brian helped Laney lay down on the table, though she refused to stretch her legs out, she shook her head as she remained curled up in a ball as a nurse came in and prepped her arm for an IV. Brian watched them insert the needle into her arm and hoist a bag onto the hook next to the bed.

Brian could see their mouths moving explaining what was in the bag. They were talking mostly to Laney but he knew he was included in the conversation. He willed himself to listen to the words the doctor was saying but his ears refused to work. He moved backwards until he found a chair against the wall and slowly slid into it. He wanted to be closer to Laney, but with the doctor and nurses swarming around her, he wasn't sure he could squeeze in.

Eventually they left the room, leaving her on the pain medicine to see how she reacted. The preliminary tests ruled out appendicitis for sure, now the staff was starting to determine what else it could be.

Once the last nurse left the room, Brian approached Laney and took her hand in his. “Is it helping?” He nodded his head towards the IV bag.

Laney forced a weak smile on her face. “It's a dull pain at the moment.” She patted his hands with her free hand. He watched as she started to close her eyes and soon her breathing became steady. Brian stayed by her side, stroking her hand as she lay sleeping, he hoped it would last.

 

Chapter 6 by Purpura Lipstick

                Brian watched his wife sleep from a chair nearby.  He was exhausted. She’d only just closed her eyes the first time before they were open again and she was curling up in pain.  The doctors came back in and gave the remaining half of the pain medication, why did they only give her half to begin with? Brian had wondered.  Brian had also taken that opportunity to tell the doctors of her recent diagnosis.

 

                The doctors scheduled a CAT scan and Laney was wheeled from the room, when she came back she looked sleepy but there was more color in her face.   She said she was feeling better and closed her eyes again, this time falling asleep.  Now Brian sat waiting for the results of the CAT scan.

 

                The doctor peeked his head in the room, and when he saw his patient asleep he turned his attention to Brian.

 

                “Do you have the results?” Brian asked when he saw the man.

 

                The doctor nodded.  “It would be better if Laney were awake for so I could inform her too.”

 

                “I’m awake,” Laney’s small voice came from the hospital bed in the middle of the room.  “What did you find out?”

 

                “The CAT scan results were unclear so we will be proceeding with a pelvic exam.” The doctor looked at Laney, sympathy in his eyes.  “Are you ready for that?”

 

                Laney nodded, “let’s get it over with so we can figure out what this was.”

 

                “Are you feeling any more pain?” The doctor asked as he moved a tray of instruments towards the end of the table.

 

                Laney shook her head, “Not since you took me for the CAT scan.” She replied as she edged towards the end of the table and put her feet in the holsters. 

 

                “Okay, relax,” The doctor told Laney. Brian watched as the man examined his wife, pressing on her abdomen, feeling her insides.  When Laney winced as he felt off to one side, the doctor stopped what he was doing and sat back on the stool removing his gloves.  

 

                “Did you figure it out?” Brian asked impatiently.

 

                The doctor nodded and looked towards Laney.  “It appears you had an ovarian cyst burst.”  He said.

 

                “What does that mean exactly?” Laney asked, Brian could see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes, he was sure his face was mirroring her emotions.

 

                “You were diagnosed with PCOS so you understand how your ovaries are producing the cyst sack for the egg but sometimes, even after release, the sack sticks around.  What happened was one of those sacks grew larger than normal, took on extra fluid.  This cyst burst and that is what caused your pain.  Some women know when they will have a cyst burst; they feel a dull ache in the area for a few days then when it bursts there is only a mild level of pain increase.  In your case, the cyst burst quickly and without warning.”

 

                Brian watched as Laney took the words the doctor said in, he knew the painkillers were probably messing with her thinking process so he stepped in to ask questions.   “Is it serious?”

 

                “Her ovaries feel fine; I didn’t detect anything to be concerned about.  I didn’t feel any more overly large sacks.  This could just be a onetime instance and Laney may never have another one, or this could become something more, possibly leading to Ovarian Cancer.”

 

                Brian’s heart started to beat erratically in his chest; it reminded him of his time before he had his heart surgery. The world seemed to slow down at the mention of cancer and the room was beginning to spin.  He stumbled backwards and fell into the chair he’d occupied earlier.  His eyes found Laney’s and he could see the tears forming in her eyes.  He needed to be strong for her.  He forced himself to stand up and move back to her side, enveloping her in his arms.  He could feel her crying into his chest as he fought back his own tears.

 

                “I know it’s hard to hear but only a handful of women that have ovarian cysts actually develop cancer.  Since you are aware, you should be able to keep a better eye on things from this point out.  Everything felt fine; I’d say your actual chances, Laney, are slim.  I just wanted you to be informed.”

 

                “How does this affect us trying for children?”  Brian knew the question was on Laney’s mind and he wanted it to get out there, he needed to hear the answer too.

 

                “Your chances of conceiving are still the same as they were before you found out it about the enlarged cyst.  In fact, the hormones from pregnancy will only help the ovaries.”  The doctor attempted a weak smile, probably knowing that neither person wanted to see a grin on his face at that point in time.

 

                “I wouldn’t lose hope Laney, you still have a good chance to conceive.  If you have concerns though I’d make an appointment with your OB/GYN to see what you can do. Do you have any more questions?”

 

                Brian and Laney both shook their heads. Even if their brains could think of any questions, they were still too busy processing the information the doctor had left them with.   Brian and Laney sat holding each other as the nurse that must have come in with the doctor but they were too preoccupied to notice, got Laney ready for discharge.

 

                “I saw your diagnosis,” the woman spoke quietly as she removed the IV from Laney’s arm.  “My friend had the same thing happen to her while she was trying to get pregnant.”

 

                “How did it go for her?” Laney asked.

 

                “After the cyst broke, next month, she was pregnant.” The nurse smiled and squeezed Laney’s arm. 

 

                Brian felt better as he saw Laney’s face break out into a grin.  “Thank you,” she told the nurse. Brian sighed in relief, there was still hope they could conceive.  Brian just hoped they didn’t have any more episodes like that day. 

Chapter 7 by Purpura Lipstick

It had been weeks since Laney’s episode in the hospital. Laney had been upbeat after they returned from the hospital. The nurse’s words had really helped her. Everything felt, to Brian at least, that things had gotten back to normal.   

 

The couple busied themselves sorting through all the stuff they had accumulated through the years and were deciding what could be given away and what should just be tossed.  Even though they had not heard anything about the house, they still had high hopes that it would not be long until they received the good news and they would be moving.

 

The overall mood of the house changed the week Laney got her period.  It wasn’t as if either one of them were expecting that this time would be the time they were pregnant especially since they’d just spent time in the hospital but it was upsetting for both of them.  Laney took it harder, she hardly got out of the bedroom when the first day hit.

 

“Lane, are you sure you don’t want to come with me on the promotional junket?” Brian asked his wife the night before he was scheduled to leave.  He was worried about leaving her alone but she refused to tag along.  She said she’d tag along later but at the moment there were things around the house that she wanted to get done without Brian being there.

 

She shook her head and kissed him lightly.  “I’ll be fine Brian.  Like I said, there are things I want to complete around here while you are gone.” She smirked at him playfully and for one brief moment Brian’s worries and fears disappeared and he smiled.

 

“Oh, inviting your boyfriend over?” he joked.

 

“Of course,” She replied.  “He’s been neglected while you’ve been on break, he’s anxious to get back in the sack with me.”

 

“How shall we spend tonight?” Brian asked her pulling her close kissing her softly.

 

“I just want to veg out at home.” She replied.  “Let’s order a pizza.” She suggested and agreed. 

 

Brian ordered the pizza as Laney perused the movie choices.  Brian groaned when he saw her pulling Definitely, Maybe off of the shelf.  “Again?” he mouthed while he waited on hold with the pizza place.

 

Laney nodded and started to put the movie in before Brian could object anymore or choose a different movie to watch.  She settled down on her side of the couch with a blanket and her pillow pet that Brian still never understood why she insisted on owning.  He watched his wife from across the room as he continued to hold to order the pizza.   She started to twirl her hair around her finger as she watched the previews for movies long gone from the theaters and now even on DVD. 

 

“I love previews,” She had admitted to him on their first date.  “I don’t want to be late and miss them.” She insisted so they had shown up to the theater a good fifteen minutes before the movie started, time enough to get the snacks and find seats.  

 

He knew then that she was different than other girls he had dated since he found fame with The Backstreet Boys.  It wasn’t that she wasn’t willing to please him, but she knew her own mind, her own likes and dislikes and wasn’t afraid to be herself and voice her opinions to him right from the start.  She was also independent.  He had dated so many women who insisted on coming with him everywhere he went, they wanted to travel with him.  Most times he could never tell if they wanted to be seen with someone famous, to scowl at the other girls wishing they were her or to get the frequent flyer miles and stamps in their passports.

 

“Thank you for holding, what can I get you?” The voice on the other end brought him out of his reverie.

 

Brian ordered the pizza and joined his wife on the couch.  She moved closer to him and put the pillow pet on his lap, laying her head down and stretching her legs across to the side she was just sitting on.  

 

“There’s my boyfriend,” His wife reported when Ryan Reynolds finally appeared on the screen.  

 

“Ah, so now I know what he looks like I can have security turn him away.” Brian replied without missing a beat.

 

“He’s not my current boyfriend.”

 

“Planning future boyfriends?”

 

“One can never be too prepared.” She turned and looked up at him smiling. 

 

Brian leaned down and kissed his wife while she lay in his lap.  “I love you,” He whispered before kissing her again.

 

“Mmmm, I love you too.” She responded and turned her head back to the television screen.  

 

Brian smiled contently.  He knew he was still going to have a family friend call her while he was out of town but he was feeling more confident that his wife was going to do more than mope while he was away.

Chapter 8 by Purpura Lipstick

Laney was secretly glad that Brian had to go out of town to do promotional work.  She didn’t want him around while she felt depressed.  She knew he would have tried to do anything he could to help her feel better but she wanted to, no needed to break out of the funk on her own.   Plus, his absence gave her time to fully take in the information from all her discussion with doctors the last few weeks.


“You know how to get a hold of me if there is an emergency?” Brian asked for the third time. 


“Brian, I’ll be fine. Such a worry wart.” She smiled at him. 


“I’ll call you every night.” He pulled her close and gently kissed her lips.  “I am going to miss you.”


“I won’t have time to miss you. So many boyfriends, so little time.” She smirked and pressed her lips down on his before he could make some comment back.   The sound horn of the car waiting outside broke them apart and they stood smiling at each other. 


Brian squeezed Laney’s hand one last time before grabbing his bags and heading to the car that would take him to the airport.  She watched as he put his bags in the trunk and climbed in, blowing him a kiss when he turned to look back at her.  The car drove down the drive and was soon out of sight.  Laney sighed and closed the door behind her.


Laney fought the urge to just put the television on and start to watch all the romantic movies that Brian usually rolled his eyes at when she chose them for movie night.  Instead she made her way upstairs, she turned on her computer before stripping down and climbing into the shower. 


The hot water felt good rolling down her back.  There was no reason for her to be in the shower except to stand there and let the hot water fall over her.  She’d never been a fan of baths, sitting in water, in your filth, never really appealed to her but she liked the feeling of hot water, it was a comfort to her at times.  Especially when she was on her period.


Laney couldn’t understand why this month was affecting her more, why the depression settled in and didn’t seem to want to leave no matter how hard she fought against it.  Maybe it was the recent trip to the hospital? Maybe the diagnosis from the doctor was just now really setting in?  Whatever the reasons she was glad, at least, that Brian had to be out of town.  Forcing the normal banter had been difficult for her and she was sure he saw right through it.  She wouldn’t doubt that a friend would be calling her in the next couple of days to ask her to grab dinner with them; Brian would have set it up.


The water started to get cool; it was time Laney got out of the shower.  She pulled on her fleece Eeyore sweatshirt and the pants that went with it.  Pulling her legs to her chest she sat in her chair facing the computer, she was going to research information about what was going on herself. 


Laney’s eyes widened at the amount of hits that she received with just typing that in. It seemed that her doctor was right, it was fairly common anymore.  If it was so common then how come they didn’t have an answer as to what caused it and they really didn’t seem to have anything to fix it.  


Laney clicked on the first page that came up in the search and started to read.


                Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems


Laney continued to read the site and when she reached the section about having a small surgical procedure to drill a hole in the ovary so an egg can be released she was having a small anxiety attack. She could feel tears forming in her eyes.   Maybe she really did want Brian around after all. 


She closed the site and started looking for anything that mentioned any other treatments besides drugs and surgeries.  She was happy to find that there were a few alternative medicine choices.  She could try acupuncture to increase her hormone levels, there was also one book that claimed the women who followed the methods inside were told they were too old or were never going to have children and they were able to conceive naturally once some even multiple times.


Drowsiness started to come over Laney and she could no longer look at the computer screen any longer.  She turned her computer off and made her way downstairs.  She dug out a packet of hot chocolate and turned on the television.  She curled up on the couch and searched the Lifetime and Hallmark channels for the sappy romance movies, or cheesy suspense movies she knew they would have.  She found one about a woman unable to get pregnant kidnapping a pregnant teen.  She knew she shouldn’t be watching a movie with this storyline but she couldn’t help it, she was a sucker for cheesy movies.


The ringing phone startled her and when she reached for it she realized that her movie had long ago ended and the channel was in the middle of an equally as cheesy movie. 


“I must have fallen asleep,” she mumbled to herself as she hit the talk button on her phone. “Hello?” she asked.


“Hey babe,” Brian’s voice was a welcome sound to her.


“Hi.”


“Did I wake you?” Brian’s voice sounded concerned.


“I fell asleep watching TV.” She chuckled.


“Boyfriend already wearing you out?” Brian teased.


“Always.”  She let out and uneasy laugh and sat silent on the phone.


“Today was good.  You know, the usual interviews.”


“Good.” She said, but she didn’t really know what to say.  She knew he’d be calling but though she wanted him there to hold her tight there wasn’t much she wanted to say to him.  “I miss you.” She threw out.


“I miss you, too.” he responded.   He talked a little more about what he’d been doing all day and he mentioned something that one of the other guys had done that was somewhat comical.  Laney listened but her eyes were trained on the television, her ears trying to focus on the TV and the phone at the same time and the phone was sadly losing. 


“Bri, I’m really tired. Can we just talk more tomorrow?” She asked and he reluctantly agreed.  She sighed when they got off the phone.  She was tired, but she wasn’t going to sleep.  She pulled a blanket over her and started to watch more made for TV movies.  She knew, after that call that Brian would be calling someone to check on her tomorrow.  She couldn’t find it in her to care though, depression had won this round.

End Notes:

Hope the POV switch doesn't throw you off too much, but with this kind of story it's easier to write the woman's emotions for me. the POV will likely go between Brian and Laney from here on out.

Chapter 9 by Purpura Lipstick

It had been a couple of months since Laney went through her bout of depression. Brian knew she’d had a tough go of things and had not wanted to see anyone or do anything.  He worried about her while he’d been gone; she’d not really been like that before. When he returned, though, she was her usual self.  She’d been going through their things again putting unnecessary items in boxes and making piles for him to go through for items to give away. 


“Why not sell them?” he asked her when he got back.


“True, we could make a killing off of your used clothes on e-bay.” She smiled and in her best announcer voice she continued holding one of his shirts. “Ladies you can now own a piece of the man himself, get this shirt, never been washed, that was worn onstage by Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell for the low, low price of 199.99.” 


“Don’t be ridiculous Laney,” Brian laughed grabbing at the shirt.  Laney managed to yank it away from him quickly but he was faster and, reaching for it again he managed to get it away.  “We could easily get five hundred for it.”  His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her pulling her close. 


Brian held his wife close inhaling the smell of her shampoo.  They stood silent for a few moments before he looked in Laney’s eyes, their lips crashing together with a longing of lovers kept apart.  Slowly the two made the way to their bedroom and crashed to the bed. 


“I love you,” Laney said smiling up at her husband.


“I love you too.” He responded before their passion for each other took over. 


Brian must have fallen asleep after their love making, he woke alone in the bed but he could hear sounds of Laney singing in the kitchen.  He quietly snuck down the stairs and stood, hidden, behind his wife as she moved around the kitchen cooking something up for them to eat.  He liked to listen to her sing but she often didn’t let Brian know she even sang, she hated her voice and how does someone who is married to a professional singer sound like shit?  At least, that is what she thought.


Brian smiled as he watched her sway from side to side as she sang. He couldn’t help but laugh at the face she made as she spun around to see him standing there.  Her cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson and she stopped singing immediately.


“Brian, how long have you been standing there?”


Brian walked slowly towards her taking the spatula from her hand and tossing it on the counter.  He wrapped his arms around her and started to sway to the music in his head.  He turned her around the kitchen a few times ending with a dramatic dip.


Brian continued to hold her, leaning over her. He kissed her as he brought her back to a standing position. 


“Oh the food,” Laney laughed and grabbed the spatula; the pancake that had been in the pan was now burned.  Brian could see her pouting at the ruined food and he couldn’t help but laugh. 


“Laugh it up fuzz ball,” She grinned and put it on a plate and held it out to him.  “This is yours.”  


“Perfect, just the way I like them.” He took the plate, poured syrup over it and took a bit of the burned pancake.  “Delicious.” He grinned as she laughed and grabbed her own plate with a perfectly cooked pancake.


Brian watched as Laney at her food, she seemed to be much better than when he left her only a few weeks ago.  “Laney, did you want to join me on tour for awhile at least?” He asked.


“Of course, or I will have to look to the mail man to get me pregnant while you are away.”


“That might be a little difficult; our mail man is a woman.” 


“Or so you think.” She winked at Brian and picked up their plates to clean them up.


“Do you know something I don’t?”


Laney shrugged as she started to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  “Will we have to share a bus?”  She remembered when she started dating Brian they had to share with one of the other guys, it wasn’t too bad, but it didn’t leave a lot of time alone for intimacy.


“Hell no!”  Brian laughed.


“Darn and I was looking forward to an orgy.”


Brian started making gagging noises at the mere thought of an orgy.  Laney turned and smiled broadly at him.  “Don’t tell me you and Nick haven’t thought about it before. Lots of women, lots of sex?”


“You are the only woman I need.” He winked and stood grabbing his cell phone as it started to ring.   “Hello?” He asked the person on the other line.   Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing on the other end; he couldn’t hold back the smile as he was told the information.  He looked at his wife and she stood looking at him quizzically. 


She mouthed ‘what’ to him hoping he could give her some answer, but he held up his finger letting her know to wait a minute.  When he got off the phone he looked his wife.


“They accepted our offer.” He held his hands over his ears as Laney squealed with delight. 


“I knew being married to you had to have some perks.”


“Gold digger,” he laughed.


Brian went into the details of when the closing date would be and when they would get to take possession.  It would mean that she could only spend a few weeks with him on the road as she would have to be home to help organize the movers, by the time the leg of this tour was over they’d be moving into the home of their dreams.   Brian was thankful something had gone right, perhaps the move would keep Laney’s mind off of other things and she would relax, allowing her body to become pregnant.  He could only hope.

Chapter 10 by Purpura Lipstick

Laney flipped through a magazine on the bus as she waited for the show to be over.  She hadn’t been feeling up to standing backstage and watching, she wanted to put her feet up and enjoy some time to herself.  She knew that if she stood for too long she’d start to feel dizzy; she’d been feeling dizzy lately and was starting to wonder.  It was a few days until she was supposed to get her period and she’d never felt dizzy as part of her PMS symptoms before.   


She looked up as the door to the bus opened and Brian climbed in. “It’s only been a couple of weeks, tired of the tour already?”


She shook her head.  “Howie creeps me out,” She shuddered. 


“Really?” Brian asked.


Laney smiled and shook her head.  “No, you know I love all the guys.  I just wanted to have some quiet time tonight.” She smiled at him.  


“I’m starving,” Brian announced.  He wasn’t typically hungry after a show but there were occasional times that he craved a burger and fries after the show.  “We are sending one of the crew to get some burgers before we leave, do you want anything?”


“The thought of food right now is actually making me feel sick.” She announced and looked at his face to read any reaction.  Just as she thought, he didn’t pick up what she was implying. 


He sat down on the couch next to her and wrapped his arms around her.


“Gross, you need to shower.” She shoved him off of her and scooted away.


“Aw, you don’t love me?”


Laney cocked her head to one side and smirked.  “Of course I love you; I just don’t want to smell like you.”


“Not what you were saying last night when I was all over you.” His voice dropped into a seductive whisper giving Laney chills.  


“Shower!” she demanded pointing to the bathroom on the bus. 


“I hate showering in these things,” Brian grumped as he did what his wife demanded.


It wasn’t long before Brian finished and interrupted Laney’s alone time.  Now completely clean he walked to his wife in nothing but his towel and pulled her towards the bed in the back of the bus.  He shut the door and dropped his towel.  “Now, would you like to have me all over you?”


Laney chuckled and put up a small struggle as Brian moved closer to her and started to remove her clothing.  “Brian stop, I don’t feel good.”  She said laughing.


“Are you getting sick?” Brian asked pulling away and moving a distance away from her.  She didn’t take offense to this action; she knew he could not afford to get sick while he was on the road.


“I don’t think you can catch it.  I just feel dizzy and slightly queasy.”


“The real reason for having alone time?” He asked raising his eyebrows.


Laney nodded and smiled. 


“Do you have a test?”


“No, I was hoping we could manage to get one.”


“I can send Jen out for one. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind picking up a test for us.  She is more likely to help us out, since having one of the other girlfriends or wives get one for us would send uproar over their possible pregnancies.” He chuckled slightly uncomfortable.  He didn’t want to have to go himself remembering the last time they were in the aisle with the tests. 


“That would be great.” She said moving towards the bed.  Maybe if she laid her head down she wouldn’t feel dizzy anymore, and if she didn’t feel dizzy maybe she wouldn’t feel queasy.  If this was how the entire pregnancy was going to go she was in for quite a time.


“Sweetie,” Brian was whispering to her.  “Jen brought one back, do you want to take it now?” Laney opened her eyes to a dark room. She must have fallen asleep, the bus was moving, and they must be on their way to the next venue.  


Laney sat up and took the box from her husband looking at it as if she could will one of the tests inside to be positive.  She always heard taking the test in the morning was the best time; more of the hormone was present in the urine in the morning.  She slid the directions out and scanned to see if she had to wait, she really didn’t want to wait. If she was pregnant she wanted to know immediately, and if she wasn’t she wanted to know why she was feeling these new symptoms.   She’d taken only one test before and didn’t want to do anything that might mess up the results.


She hated trying to go to the restroom while the bus was moving, one lurch and she could fall off the toilet completely.  She was willing to chance it this time though. 


“So?” Brian asked as she came out. 


“Gotta wait the three minutes.” She had left the stick on the counter and chose to come out and wait with Brian instead of staring at the stick willing the second pink line to show up. 


The couple sat and waited.  They turned on the television on the bus and hoped that the time would pass quickly.  Laney checked her watch continuously until finally she stood back up and went into the restroom.  


Brian looked at her as she walked out of the restroom, she couldn’t even return his look.  “I’m going to go lay down.” She said.


Brian followed her and laid down next to her.  “So it was a no?”


Laney nodded; Brian could see tears forming in her eyes.  “Babe, don’t stress about it. It will happen, God has a plan for us.” He smiled and brushed the hair back from her face.  They laid next to each other holding each other’s hands until sleep came over both of them. 

Chapter 11 by Purpura Lipstick

Laney and Brian were preparing to leave the tour briefly; it was time to sign the paperwork for their new house. They waited at the airport together, Brian watching Laney as she sat reading a book.  After the negative test she’d gone back to her normal self.  He was happy to see that she wasn’t letting the negative results get to her.

“Can you believe it Bri?” She asked. “Our dream house!”  She smiled broadly at her husband as the announcement came over the speaker announcing that it was time for them to board the plane.  Laney grabbed hold of her carryon bag, and made her way towards the line with Brian close behind her.   They had been lucky and they had been unnoticed as they had waited but Laney knew it couldn’t last. 

“Brian?” A female voice questioned as they waited in line. 

Brian and Laney turned their heads to see a petite young woman standing in the seating area.  “It is you.” She smiled and approached.  “I know you are in line but can I get a picture really fast?”

Brian looked at the girl, hesitant to say yes, what if he did and someone noticed and more fans came over?  He didn’t want to miss the flight because he had taken one picture.

“Brian, just lean in close.” Laney whispered and quickly snapped the picture of them.

“Thank you so much,” the young woman smiled and returned to her place as if nothing had just happened.   Brian looked around quickly and noticed that no one else was coming his way.  Even though he didn’t want to have to deal with a crowd or being mobbed he felt somewhat disappointed that no one else seemed to have noticed.

Laney’s laugh brought his eyes back to her.  He could tell by how she was looking at him that she knew he was a little disappointed there was no mob.   They handed their boarding passes to the attendant and walked to their seats on the plane.  Brian shoved their carryon bags into the overhead bins and sat down next to his wife, pulling his hat down low and turning to look out the window.  Even though the other passengers would not have to walk through first class to get to their seats he still covered as much of his face as he could out of habit. 

“I made an appointment with my doctor while I am home, after you leave again.” Laney blurted out as the plan was being taxied to the runway. 

“What for?” Brian asked taking his wife’s hand.

“I want to start the Clomid.” She announced in a quiet but firm tone. 

“Can we discuss this when we get home?” Brian asked.  He wasn’t opposed to the idea if Laney wanted to give a try, he just didn’t want someone to catch wind of their conversation and post the information for thousands of fans to read and pick apart.

“We can, but my mind is made up.” Laney said before opening her book and immersing herself in the words on the page. She knew she was being unfair to her husband, they had agreed to not use drugs but it had been several months of trying on their own. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enjoying the trying, making love to Brian was always a pleasure but she was sure that it shouldn’t take as long as it was to get pregnant.  

“Okay,” Brian mumbled before putting his headset on and leaning back in his seat.  He knew this was coming.  Even though they discussed not using drugs, neither one of them wanted multiples as their first child he knew that it was only a matter of time before they started to look for outside help. 

The rest of the plane ride was silent between them and when they arrived home they went different directions to relax.  Brian moved to his game console hoping that he could call Nick to join him for some simulated warfare.   He was sure Laney had simply moved into their bedroom or the reading room and would continue reading the book she had with her on the plane, or as she sometimes did after traveling, would be taking a bath.

Neither one wanted to really talk about what she had started talking about on the plane.  There would be no point in discussing it further.  Laney would see the doctor about getting put on Clomid and he was sure she’d be on it while she was with him on tour.  He was glad to have something to shoot at on the television, though he didn’t typically enjoy these types of games because they glorified warfare, he was thankful for the distraction that night.

The next morning Laney beat Brian up and was cooking breakfast as he got out of bed.  “Breakfast burritos?” He asked as his mouth watered smelling the cooking bacon.

“Yes sir,” Laney replied turning to face him. “Can’t go sign for our new house on an empty stomach.  Sustenance is required.”  

Brian wrapped his arms around Laney’s waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.  “Smells delicious.”  He reached into the pan with the bacon and quickly pulled a piece out blowing on it quickly before popping it in his mouth. 

Laney bumped him with her hip to reprimand him for taking the food.  “Will you get the salsa out please?” She asked him.

“What will you give me?” He managed to ask without losing the bacon from his mouth.

“Gross, don’t talk with food in your mouth.”

Brian chewed faster and swallowed smiling at his wife.  “What will you give me?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“My undying love and affection.” She responded and turned back to the pan.

“I already have that,” He pulled her close and kissed her neck.

“Brian, food.” She reached around and smacked his butt.

“Fine, I know where I stand.”  Brian got the salsa out of the fridge and set it on the counter with the other items they would use to make their breakfast burritos.  They took turns piling their tortillas with eggs, bacon, hash browns and various vegetables that Laney had precut.  They finished and barely got all the food away before Brian noticed that they were running behind for the closing.

The twosome left quickly and managed to make it to the offices the closing would be at in record time.  “I won’t tell anyone you were speeding,” Laney teased as she pulled out her phone and tweeted about Brian speeding. 

“Give me that?” Brian tried to swipe the phone away from her but she was too quick. 

“Send,” She said and smirked.

Brian pulled managed to catch her and pull her close.  “You know how the fans will react to that.”

Laney gasped and wrapped her arms around him gasping.  “They will think you are human after all?” She laughed and kissed his nose before releasing him and heading into the office.  

The signing took longer than they hoped and their wrists were tired of signing their names to the several pages of paperwork but they both felt it was worth it when they received the keys to the house when they were finished.

“I can’t believe the house is ours,” Laney said as they left the offices on their way back home. 

“Want to go there now?” Brian asked.  They had taken possession of the house as soon as the paperwork was finished.  No waiting any extra time, the house was theirs. 

“Yes,” Laney breathed out like she’d been holding in asking if they could go see the house. They wouldn’t officially be living in the house until after the next couple of weeks, Laney still had plenty to pack up and then call the movers to help them move.  

Brian was amused at the apparent growing excitement on Laney’s face as they approached the house.  “Here we are.” Brian said as he rushed out of the car to the front door.

“Hey,” Laney called out upset that Brian was trying to beat her inside the house, he hadn’t even forewarned her to get a head start.  She was almost to the porch when he turned back leaving the door open. 

“Welcome home Mrs. Littrell,” He whispered as he picked her up and carried her through the door gently setting her down in the foyer. 

Laney looked around the house smiling before turning back to Brian.  Taking him by both hands she pulled him into the front room pulling him to the floor with her.  “It’s only right we break the house in properly.” She whispered before kissing him passionately.

End Notes:

sorry for the filler chapter, I hope it wasn't too boring.

Chapter 12 by Purpura Lipstick

Laney fought back the tears as she talked to her friend.  “I am so happy for you Sara.” She hoped that her joy for her friend came across over the phone and that her friend wouldn’t be able to tell that the tears were on the verge of flowing from her eyes as she spoke.   “When are you due?”


She listened as her friend talked about the due date for her first child, the child she hadn’t been planning on having but was so delighted to know she was going to have now.   She wanted Laney to be there to support her, she wanted her to go find parenting books and clothes and furniture for the nursery and of course Sara was hoping that Laney would throw a baby shower for her since her mother had passed the year before.


“Sara, you are going to make a great mother and I can’t wait to meet your son or daughter.” Laney honestly said as the tears started to fall from her eyes. She reached for a tissue to wipe her eyes and her nose that was starting to run from holding back the tears. 


The girls said their good-byes after agreeing to get together for coffee or smoothies now that Sara was pregnant, soon.  Once the phone was hung up Laney couldn’t help it but let the tears fall freely.  She was happy for her friend she continued to try to focus on that fact, but no matter how much she thought about it she couldn’t help but be upset that her friend who hadn’t been trying to get pregnant was now expecting a child while she was still barren after half a year of trying. 


Laney was glad that Brian was not around to see her crying over this.  She knew that he wouldn’t be much support as he wouldn’t understand why she was upset about this.  Brian had left the day after their closing and Laney was left to organize the packing and moving of their house to the new house. 


She wiped her eyes and started to put the books from the selves into boxes for the house, she needed to throw herself into something, anything, to distract her from the sadness that she was feeling.   


The day before, Laney had gone to her doctor appointment to get started on the process for a Clomid prescription.  She was anxious to find out how it would work, though she was slightly nervous after hearing stories of women who had massive mood swings and felt like they were on a constant PMS when they were on the drug. 


“Before we can put you on the drug I want to determine if it would be a good starting point for you or if you should delve further into something else.”  The doctor had told her at the appointment.  “Get an ovulation test and twelve days into your cycle start testing.  When you get a positive result call the office and we will have you come in to take your blood.  We will test your progesterone level to determine if you are ovulating, this will help determine the dosage of the Clomid you will be on also.”  The woman smiled at her and tried to reassure her. 


“So there is nothing to really do until I ovulate?” Laney wanted to make sure she had heard the doctor correctly.


“Yes.”


The appointment was quick, much more so than Laney had expected.  She had waited until Brian called her that night to tell him what the doctor said.   They agreed that she would fly out to see him during her fertile window, even though she wasn’t going to be on the drug it was better to try. Perhaps they would get pregnant before they even had to go on the drug.


Laney was biding her time until she flew out to Brian.  She had already bought her ovulation test strips and was packed.  She called the doctor and told her where she would be and the offices found an office that was close to her location that she could have the progesterone test completed at and have the results sent to her doctor.  


She looked down at the book she had in her hands “The Handmaid’s Tale”.  She laughed internally and put the book in the box.  It was about a society where fertile women were sent to prominent families in society to conceive a child for them, well at least if what happened in that book ever happened she would not have to worry about being pimped out like that.  She laughed at the thought and continued to pack her books in the boxes. 


Folding the box closed she looked at her watch and smiled.  It was finally time to head to the airport.  All through the flight she tried to ignore the news her friend had told her, she didn’t want tears to fill her eyes when she saw Brian and really, she shouldn’t have tears, she was happy for her friend.  Maybe she would get pregnant and they would get to share the experience together.  With these new positive thoughts Laney exited the plane and was welcomed by Brian’s warm embrace.

Chapter 13 by Purpura Lipstick

Brian was holding his breath as he waited on the other end of the phone.  Laney was taking a pregnancy test at home.  She had flown out to be with him for most of the three months she would be on the medication, but after the last fertile window closed, Laney decided she wanted to get home to finish the unpacking and organizing. He knew that her hope was that it would be done by the time he got home so he could just relax at home.  He secretly hoped there were still some boxes left for him to unpack, he really didn’t want her to do all the work and if she unpacked some of his stuff he’d never be able to find it.


Brian had tried to be strong for his wife while she was there with him but it was becoming difficult to be her rock when she crashed down when she tested negative or got her period.  He was secretly glad she was home, it was a horrible thought and he knew it but he needed a break.


“How have you been?” Brian asked trying to break the tension on the phone.


“Busy.  It seems like I’ve arranged and rearranged furniture and the kitchen nonstop since I’ve been back.” 


Brian wondered how much of that had been necessary and how much had been to keep herself busy.  He smiled at the thought of her moving the couches by herself which he knew she could do.  “How many times have you rearranged the kitchen?” he asked.  He knew Laney never knew how to have the kitchen organized until she actually had a chance to use it a few times.


“I am on my third time.” She laughed with him about it.   “I just can’t decide where I want the silverware and the Tupperware.  I had the silverware in the drawers on the island, I’ve had them next to the stove, I’ve had them next to the fridge. I just can’t figure out which is the best place for them.”


“Anywhere you put it will be fine, I am sure.” Brian said slightly distracted now as Howie had just climbed on his bus looking like he wanted to talk to him. 


“Says the man who never puts anything back in its proper place, ever.” Laney scolded him with laughter in her voice. 


“I would if you stopped rearranging the kitchen on a weekly basis.”


“Semi-yearly thank you very much.” They laughed together.  


“Has it been three minutes?” Laney asked him.  He hated to tell her that it had been he wanted to continue talking to his wife about her addiction to reorganizing everything he didn’t want to get a negative result and then have to pick up the pieces of his wife over the phone.


‘Think positive,’ he chastised himself.  ‘Maybe it will be positive.’  He thought.   “Yes it has,” He said aloud to his wife and heard as she put the phone down.  Brian resumed holding his breath as he waited for Laney to return to the phone with the results. 


“Brian?” She came back.


“Are you expecting someone else?” His laugh was uneasy.


“It’s positive.” Laney practically screeched into the phone.  Brian held the phone away from his ear for a few seconds as she continued to express her happiness.  Brian couldn’t stop beaming, he knew God had a plan and they would conceive when it was right.  They were getting settled into their dream house and he quickly did the math, he would be done touring before the baby was born and would be able to request some down time.  God definitely had a plan.  


Howie, who was sitting on the couch, gave him the thumbs up sign as congratulations. 


“I love you Laney,” Brian told his wife when he finally put the phone back to his ear.


“I love you too Brian,” She said.  Brian could just picture her beautiful face with tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks.  He wished he could be there with his wife to celebrate this time with her. 

End Notes:

I apologize for the shortness of the chapter but I wrote myself into a bind and wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go with this story... please be patient as I work out the direction this story is going to go.

This story archived at http://absolutechaos.net/viewstory.php?sid=10423