How Do I Become And Stay A Sane BSB Fan? by TheDistantHeart, catseye1769
Summary:

 

This handbook is specially written for those who are scared of ever becoming an ONLPF (Obsessed No Life Psycho Fan) and would like to stay sane. Or for those who just entered the Backstreet World (yes, there still are fans like those!) and have no idea how to become sane (and with that, stay sane).

Here a few rules. Yes, rules. If you want to become and stay a sane fan, you have to obey these rules.

 


Categories: Non-Fiction Characters: None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 4244 Read: 5788 Published: 02/24/11 Updated: 03/18/11
Chapter 2 by catseye1769
Author's Notes:
These are the V.I.P rules. Please observe.
How Do I Become And Stay A Sane BSB Fan

Written by catseye1769

One of the most important events when you become a BSB fan is the VIP event. If you are one of the lucky few that get to attend one it can be an awesome experience if you follow a few simple rules so the experience can be wonderful for everyone. You may get to meet the boys, take a few pictures with your favorite and even get a hug.
Even if these things occur you should still observe and obey a few simple rules.

1.2 The VIP sound check meet and greet.

1. When it is your turn to ask a question DO NOT ask
your favorite guy if he wants to be your boyfriend or
“hook up”. The answer will be no to both questions because a. He has a girlfriend and b. Why would he want to get together with someone that would proposition a complete stranger? And c. It makes you look like a ho bag. (no matter what you think you are a stranger to them)

2. Please for all that is holy don’t dress like a street corner tramp. Keep the girls under lock and key. Showing off your saggy assets with a pushup bra will not snag you a guy. It will just make people throw money and insults at you. You know like when you see someone else dressed that way and you walk by and cough ”ho bag”.

3. As you are being let in to find seating do not push, shove, curse, hit, bump or jump over anyone to get front row. It will result in you looking like psycho bitch from hell, will get you screamed/yelled at and might get you ejected and slapped.

4. Realize if you get the platinum package and actually meet the boys it is just that. A meet and greet. It in no way means your are or will become bff’s. You can talk to them for a few minutes maybe take some pictures and ask them politely to sign something then move on. Yes you have to let them go. Other people have waited and will cut a bitch if you hog their time.

5. Don’t ask them for their email address, phone number, home address (like they would actually tell you), or hotel room number (see rule 1) because they will look at you like you are “special”. And for those of you too fucking stupid to figure it out that is not a term of endearment.

6. It is perfectly ok to shake their hand and say thank you and even ask for a hug before you leave. They expect this. But do not grab their butt (no matter how juicy and tempting it is), crotch (yes I have seen women do this), nipple, or wrap your arms around them and refuse to let go. Trust me on this their security is tougher than you and you will get tossed out on your psycho ass.

7. I saved the most important rules for last. I do not give a flying fuck if you have a disability. Do not try to use it in hopes of getting closer to the guys. You will be found out and will look like the idiot you are.

8. No one gives a flying rat’s ass how much you paid for a cruise if you stalk them you will be thrown overboard or shot into space with the rest of the crazies. And please have the dignity to not stalk their girlfriends and pour out some lame ass sob story to get a t-shirt. You will only succeed in looking like some pathetic, lame ass retard.

9. And the absolute most important rule. No matter what you think just because you spend all of your money on tickets and plane fare to follow them, tweet them, play some online game with them, or claim that you explored each other backstage (we all know you are a lying ho when you say that) you are not now nor will you ever be friends with them. If they ran into you someplace they wouldn’t know who in the hell you were. Grow up and get a life.

10. Hi Rachel J

Ok so that is it for part 1.2 Take our advice to heart. We have extensive knowledge on this and have done twitter research. As always comments are welcome.
End Notes:
Comments are always welcome.
This story archived at http://absolutechaos.net/viewstory.php?sid=10493