My teas gone cold and I wonder why

I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds touch my window

And I can’t see at all

And if I could it’d all be gray

But your picture on my wall

If reminds me that it’s not so bad

It’s not so bad…

            The sound of a plate hitting the wall echoed through the house. Her mother was at it again. She had run out of money for cigarettes and was on the edge. Eve had been in the kitchen cleaning before her mother started lashing out. She ducked again when another dish flew in her direction.

“Why don’t we ever have any fucking money!” her mother screamed.

“We never have anything because you spend it all on drugs!” Eve shot back.

            Her mother got up from the couch. Her thinning blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun. She staggered over to the girl, using her bony fingers to pull on Eve’s hair. Eve cried out as her mother became to shake her.

“Stop it!” Eve cried falling to her knees.

“We’d have money if your good for nothing father paid for you.” Her mother spat, “You’re just as worthless as him.”

“I’m not worthless-“ her sentence was cut short with a smack.

            Just then the front door to their trailer had opened up. It was her mother’s boyfriend John. The look on his face was unpleasant at the sight of their home and the fight in front of them.

“What the fuck is this shit?” he asked, “Joyce why is the god damn house a mess!”

Joyce let got of Eve’s hair, “This little bitch was edging me on. She was talking back to me.”

John turned to look at the sobbing girl on the ground, “You’re an adult now! You should know how to act better.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Eve sobbed.

            John strolled over to her undoing the belt of his pants. Eve’s head shot up with fear and stood up. She started to run but he caught her arm and threw her back against the wall. She screamed as he pinned her to the wall.

“I didn’t do it!” she screamed

“You need to be taught a lesson,” he heavily breathed into her neck.

            She continued to struggle as his hand made his way up her dress. He tugged on the fabric of her underwear until they were torn off. Hot tears streamed down her face as he forcefully slammed into her. Her eyes focused on her mother who looked nothing but pissed. Finally she stopped struggling and just relaxed against the wall.

“You’re such a whore!” her mother yelled, “You’re disgusting!”

            When John was done he backed away from her as she slid down the floor. A mixture of fluids ran down her legs. She sat on the floor crying, “Mommy…” she whimpered. All her mother could do was slap her, “That’s what you get for talking back and for fucking my husband! Go to your room.” Eve pulled herself off the floor and staggered to her bedroom. When she closed the door behind her she fell onto the bed crying herself to sleep.

~--------~

            A few weeks had passed since the incident at her home. She was so thankful that she was a senior this year and set to graduate next month. Due to her outstanding grades she was allowed to graduate before her 16th birthday. In school she was nothing more than an outcast. Sometimes people spoke to her but she hadn’t really had any friends. The bell rang in her classroom as she grabbed her books and left the room. She clutched her books, her long light brown hair covering her face. She made her way to the library.

“I need some help,” she said barely above a whisper.

The librarian turned around, “How can I help you today?”

“Do you know anything about Genealogy?”

“Some, are you looking to trace your family back for a report?”

“Yes”

            Eve sat in front of the computers with a stack of newspapers. For as long as she could remember she fantasized about her real father coming to rescue her like a white knight in a fairytale story to take her away from her wicked mother. But he never showed, but then again how was he? She had no idea who he was, her mother refused to tell her and the only information that she knows is that he never wanted to be involved. Bitterness had run through her that he could just abandon her and her mother. Finally after searching she found her birth certificate.

She starred at the screen, “Brian Thomas Littrell,” she whispered.

So denied, so I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again

Are you willing to be had? 
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

            Graduation couldn’t come any sooner for Eve. Neither her mother nor John had showed up. Part of felt relieved that neither of them showed up so the school wouldn’t have to know what kind of family she had. The other part felt sad that no one was there to congratulate her on her achievements. It wasn’t everyday that a 15 year old graduated from High School! When the principal called her name she stood up slowly walking across the stage, her purple gown flowing against the summer’s breeze. She imagined her real father in the audience. Cheering her on, camera in hand, filled with pride. Eve accepted her diploma and posed for a picture with the principal.

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon

            Once the ceremony was over everyone had fled to find their friends and family. Eve wandered through the crowds of people. Time seemed to slow down of mothers hugging their daughters, father’s high-fiving their sons. Suddenly a hand grasped her shoulder, she tensed up, ‘No…’ she thought. Turning around slowly she was met with the smile of her classmate Anne.

“Congrats! Aren’t you so excited?” Anne squealed enveloping her into a hug.

She returned the gesture, “Yeah, I’m finally free.”

“Now it’s time to cease the day and live it up!”

“I guess”

“What school did you get accepted into?”

“School?” Eve replied puzzled, she hadn’t thought about school. “I’m…I’m taking a year off…”

“Oh, that’s cool. Well you’re smart as hell and younger than the rest of us so you definitely have all the time in the world.”

“Yeah”

“Well it’s was great seeing you one more time. Remember cease the day!” Anne shouted before disappearing into the crowd.

~------~

            Tonight was now or never. No one had been home, which she had been so thankful for. The day found out about Brian Littrell she felt her life was soon going to change. But what if he didn’t want her? What if her mother had been right all along? She couldn’t process the negativity. Anything had been better than where she was now. Eve had finished packing up all of her belongings in her suitcase. She had taken all the money she had been saving for so long and opened an account with it. She turned off the lights in her room and headed out the door.

“No more cooking dinners, no more cleaning up behind anyone,” she said, “You hear that! I’M FUCKING FREE!” she screamed.

            Just as she was about to leave the house she caught a glimpse of a picture on the wall. It had been taken when Eve was only a few months old. Her mother, a then young teenager with big hair that should have stayed in the 80s and her, a bright eyed infant. She grabbed the picture off the wall and tossed it in her bag before leaving the house. Walking down the dirt path road she turned around for a last glimpse before disappearing into the night.

~-----~

Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

            The greyhound bus station had been filled with many people. She glanced around looking at the bus schedules. Quickly she walked over to the information desk to purchase her ticket.

“Where to?” the clerk asked.

“Lexington Kentucky,” she said nervously.

“Is that one way or round trip?”

            She paused for a moment starring at the clerk. She took a look at her surroundings. Nothing about this town held any good memories for her. The people were plain, everyone knew everyone and no one ever left. This was her chance, her chance to break free from everything. To leave the past behind and hope tomorrow brings a better day.

“Miss?” the clerk called.

She turned around, “Sorry, one way”

“Ok, one way ticket to Lexington Kentucky. Here you go, gate 24. Your bus leaves in twenty minutes!”

All my time is froze in motion 
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

            Eve grabbed her ticket and dashed off to find her correct bus. She prayed that she’d find the right one and not end up on one heading to a big city. Finally she found gate 24 and stood in line with the rest of the travelers. She waited patiently as the bus driver clipped her ticket. The sound of the puncher emphasized a part of her old life being punched out. She handed her suitcase to him and stepped on the bus. It hadn’t been completely full yet. She noticed the backseat being completely vacant. Placing her bag in the overhead compartment she said down and rested her head against the window. She wondered if her mother and John had noticed she had left. Maybe they thought she had decided to go to a graduation party and was hung-over somewhere. Maybe they didn’t even care and were glad that she took it upon herself to leave instead of being forced out. It’s not like she had bothered to leave a note.

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye 
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Chapter 3
 

            The sound of laughter echoed throughout the trailer. Eve had just woken up and quietly crept into the hallway. Her mother had been laughing to herself sitting at the kitchen table. She walked into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water.

“Baby girl…” her mother called sweetly.

            Eve stood by fridge starring at her mother shyly. Her eyes grew big as Joyce pulled a needle out of her purse. She giggled to herself as she heated up a spoon of powder. Eve slowly sipped her water as she mother placed the needle in her arm. Joyce threw her head back smiling, slowly turning it to focus her attention on Eve. Nervous, Eve started to walk away but her mother grabbed her arm. She struggled as Joyce pulled her closer.

“Mama… no…” Eve whined.

“It’s ok, Mama’s not going to hurt you. It’s going to feel good.”

“No…no…no…”

            Without warning Joyce injected Eve in her arm. Eve jerked quickly dragging the needle against her arm. She started to cry as blood started to run down her arm. Everything around her started to make her feel dizzy.

*--------*

            Eve shot up in her seat panting, sweat dripping from her forehead. She looked around and realized she was still on the bus. Suddenly she quickly got up from her seat and made her way to the bathroom. She was thankful that she had been sitting in the back close to it. Dropping to her knees she violently threw up in the toilet. Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to keep her hair back. Once she was finished she stood up to look at herself in the mirror. Her appearance was rather gaunt, making her look way older than 16. She rinsed her mouth out and returned to her seat. Pressing her head against the glass she watched the scenery pass by. She hated when nightmares made her sick to her stomach. Though her nightmares had once been a reality, she often wondered if they’d ever become a memory.

“Are you ok miss?” a passenger whispered to her.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Eve replied.

            She sat down in her seat again and pulled her legs up against her chest. It had already started to turn dark outside as the bus pulled into the station. Kentucky looked almost like her own small town. The trees probably outnumbered the amount of people in the county. Grabbing her bag she got off the bus and waited for her luggage to be handed to her. She felt anxious standing there looking at her surroundings. She hadn’t a clue to where to continue the rest of her journey. Eve clutched her suitcase tightly in her hand as she started to head towards the main building of the bus depot. She found an empty seat inside so she could collect her thoughts. Shuffling around in her bag she pulled out a piece of paper that was the key to her journey. She clutched the paper studying over the contents on it. This paper was the only thing keeping her from meeting her father. “I made it this far,” she said allowed as she tucked the paper back into her bag. It was now or never and there was no turning back. Getting up she walked towards the main exit saw a cab waiting. She quickly walked over and leaned down towards the driver’s window.

“Where to Miss?” he asked with a thick country accent.

“Um… 4396 Winchester Road,” she stuttered.

He got out the car and grabbed her bags, “First time in Kentucky?”

“Yeah… visiting family,” she said before sitting inside the car.

“Well, enjoy the ride and the view!”

“It’s really beautiful here, looks a lot better than my town.”

“Is that so? Well I supposed the best of both worlds is to step outside yours and see another.”

            Eve had been distracted by their conversation to even notice how quickly they had gotten to the address. All she could see was trees and a few animals. The car came to a halt, causing her heart to race.

“We’re here,” the driver said.

            She thanked him and paid her fare. He drove off leaving here to stand in front of a dirt road. She squinted to see how far she had to walk but it was impossible. Crossing her fingers she started to travel down the path. The clouds in the sky had started to get dark very quickly. It was to her unfortunate luck that it started to rain. Frustrated she tried to quick walk down the road. ‘Why would anyone want to live so far from a main road?’ she thought. She hadn’t seen a single house, just trees and grass. Up ahead a wood and brick house was in the clearing. By now she had been drenched and was starting to shiver. Climbing up the small steps in front of the house she stood on the porch looking nervous and tired. She tried to dry herself off by patting her clothes down. Suddenly the front door opened, causing her to jump and turn around.

“Are you ok?” an elderly woman asked.

Eve ran her fingers through her wet hair, “I’m… I’m…”

The woman noticed her bags, “My word, you are soaked to the bone. Come in and dry off until the storm is over!”

 “Thank you,” she replied smiling weakly.

            Eve grabbed her things and strolled into the house. She stood star struck at the décor of the home. Being polite she took off her muddy wet shoes and left them at the door. The woman disappeared and then reappeared with a towel in her hand, handing it to her to dry off.

“There, now you’ll be a little dryer.” The woman said.

“Thank you ma’am…”

“I’m sorry, I’m so rude. My name is Jackie. What is your name dear?”

“Evelyn… but you can call me Eve.”

“Eve, like Adam and Eve?”

“Yes, my mother told me my father was religious so she gave me the name Eve.”

“I’m sorry about your father…” Jackie said quietly.

Eve smiled, “Oh, he’s not dead… or at least I hope he isn’t. I don’t know where he is.”

“Shame, men running out on their families. Do you like tea?”

“I love tea.”

“Good, because I had just put on a pot when I heard noises on my porch.”

            She followed the woman into her large kitchen. It had dark stained wood cabinets and furniture. It almost looked like a picture out of a Pottery Barn magazine. Eve took a seat at the table looking around. Jackie was a shorter woman, bubbly and seemed very cheerful. Glancing over she noticed a picture hanging on the wall. It was two younger boys. She had figured it was an older picture, given the clothing style being worn in it.

“So what brings you to my house? It’s hard to say you ended up here accidentally since I live nearly a mile from a main road,” Jackie asked handing her a cup of hot tea.

Eve took a sip and licked her lips, “I…um… well it’s a funny story.”

“Oh?” Jackie said before taking a sip, “Are you a fan dear? Don’t be ashamed, it’s not that unusual that I get a visitor or two of my son every now and then.”

”A fan?” Eve blurted.

Jackie raised an eyebrow, “I take it you’re not a fan then if you have no idea what I’m talking about,” she turned around in her seat, “There are my two boys. Very bright men they grew up to be. My oldest is Harold, he lives nearby. The other is my little duck, Brian.”

Eve nearly dropped her cup, accidentally spilling it,” Oh no! I’m so sorry!”

            Jackie got up to retrieve a dishrag. She gently wiped the table, “No harm done, it’s just liquid.” She said. Eve felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she sipped the rest of the remaining liquid from her cup.

“You seem very nervous. Are you in some sort of trouble?” Jackie asked sympathetically.

“No… I just graduated from high school.”

“Really! That is fabulous, you look so much older. I would have sworn you were a college student.”

“Actually ma’am I’m only 16. I graduated with honors, ahead of my time.”

“That is wonderful, I hope you get very far in life.” Suddenly the phone rang, “Can you excuse me I need to get that.”

            Eve nodded as Jackie walked over to retrieve the ringing phone. As soon as she answered her voice became more cheerful. “I really can’t talk right now I have a guest,” she apologized to whoever was on the other end. Hanging up she walked over with a beaming smile on her face.

“That was my duck calling to check up on me. You see he doesn’t live in this state anymore and we only see each other for the holidays or special occasions.”

Eve felt her heart sink, “Oh… “

“Do you have any family nearby?”

“I thought I did…”

Jackie looked at Eve with worry in her eyes, “Well then what brought you all the way out here?”

“I’m looking for my father.”

“The one you don’t know?”

“Yes… and I think you can help me.”

“How can I help? I know a lot of people around here.”

“His name is Brian… Brian Littrell…”

Jackie gasped losing grip on her cup, “What?”

Eve’s eyes immediately turned to the floor, “Um… I know it sounds weird but I found his name on my birth certificate and I did a bit of research. It led me here, which is why I am here, because I was hoping to meet him.”

“My son is already a father to a little boy.”

“He’s married?” Eve asked with sadness in her voice.

“Yes… he’s a very important married man.” She replied sternly.

“If you think I came for some sort of handout I didn’t,” she said tearing up, “I just want to know who he is. Why he left us and never attempted to contact me.”

“That doesn’t sound like my son at all. This whole situation doesn’t sound like him.”

            Eve glanced up with tears filling her blue eyes. She was fighting as hard as she could to not let them spill down her cheeks. Jackie starred into her eyes, the same blue eyes she used to look into when her son was little. No matter what tragedy they had seen they always seemed to sparkle with hope.

“Oh my word…” Jackie whispered.

 [M1]Chapter 3

Chapter 4

            The tension in the room was so thick you could cut a knife with it. Jackie still sat shocked in front of Eve. Her mother’s day mug had been shattered on the floor after the revealing news. Eve was still lost for words. She hadn’t intended on that kind of a reaction. Actually, she hadn’t intended on any because she thought it everything would go down like in does in story. Girl finds family, family embraces here and they walk off happily ever after into the sunset of bliss. But instead of a fairytale ending she was listening to the sound of the rain hit against the window pain.

“So… Evelyn… forgive me for my rudeness. How can you possibly be my son’s daughter?” Jackie asked in a shaken voice.

Eve started to fiddle with her fingers, “I don’t know… I mean all I know is that my mom was a teenager, my age actually, when she had me. Any time I asked about him it was always rude and distasteful responses. I had grown up thinking he was a deadbeat dad that wanted nothing to do with us because he was too young for responsibilities. I knew he was religious and that my mom and him only dated for a short while. It wasn’t a big romance or anything.”

“I see… where are you from?”

“Alabama… I’ve lived there my whole life. Please you have to help me figure this whole thing out! I didn’t mean to upset you with my news… I’ve come a long way…”

“Do your parents know you’re here?”

Jackie saw her eyes gloss over as she turned to look out the window, “They don’t care. Frankly I don’t think they’ve noticed I left in the first place.”

“That’s not true. All parents care about their children, whether they display their feelings or not.”

“No, my mom used to care but she doesn’t anymore. She’s a… a drug addict.”

Instantly Jackie placed her hand over Eve’s, “I’m so sorry-”

“She wasn’t using when she met your son. In fact she was very clean for most of my toddler years. It wasn’t until she met her boyfriend did things turn sour.”

“That must have been some life you grew up in.”

“I made it this far.”

            Just then the sound of the front door opening and closing caught their attention. Boots clamped against the floor causing the sound to echo the acoustic house. Eve stiffened as the sound made her instantly think of John. Jackie noticed the change in her posture and started to rub her hand. An older man appeared in the door frame leaning against it. He looked from Eve to Jackie with a curious look on his face.

“Harold… this is Evelyn,” Jackie said.

Harold placed a smile on his face extending his hand, “Nice to meet you Evelyn. Jackie I didn’t know we were having visitors. Had I known I would have picked something up from the store.”

“It’s alright dear, she just dropped by unexpectedly. She’s from the local library.”

“Really? I apologize with my attire, it’s raining like cats and dogs out there and I smell like one as well.”

“Oh Harold!’ Jackie laughed.

“Well if you ladies would excuse me I shall go cleanup a bit.”

            Harold turned away from them and disappeared around the corner. Jackie turned her attention back to Eve who was starring longingly after Harold.

“Why did you lie?” Eve asked.

“I had too… There is no need creating chaos just yet. Let’s take this day by day.”

“Do you want to test me?”

“Test you?”

“My blood, do you want a DNA test for proof?”

“I can’t test you without having Brian tested. Oh Ducky… how are we going to break this to him?”

Eve leaned forward in her seat resting her arms on her legs, “I don’t know… I don’t eve know what I was thinking coming here. The idea of just waltzing in on someone I don’t know claiming blood relation is just a wild idea.”

“I’m sure you had good intentions. Everyone deserves to know who they are and where they came from…”

“You believe me?”

Jackie tilted her head, “I don’t know what to believe honestly. Just looking at you, you have Brian written all over your face. I don’t want to claim you as a liar. However like I said my son is important so people will say or do anything to meet him.”

“What kind of important person? Is he like an FBI agent?”

“No… he’s a singer. Almost twenty years ago him and his friends formed a band that became successful and still is till this day. He’s been performing and traveling since he was a teenager.”

“That explains how he met my mother…”

“You’re sixteen… so I’m guessing you were born in 1995?”
”Yes, my birthday is October 14th.”

Jackie sucked in air for a moment, “I can only imagine Brian’s reaction to all of this. What was he thinking?” she mumbled to herself.

A guilty feeling rose inside of her, “When do I get to meet Brian?”

Eve’s question broke Jackie’s thoughts, “Excuse me?”

“Brian, when do I get to meet him to sort this out?”

Jackie sat back and crossed her arms, “I don’t know… I really don’t know”

*----------*

            Jackie was kind enough to offer Eve a place to stay in her home. She had gotten a mini tour around the ranch styled home before being shown to her room. It had been decorated to look like a beach. The color blue was everywhere and there were so many sea shells. Eve could barely sleep that night. She laid in bed listening to the sound of the rain outside. Thought after thought began to run through her head. She couldn’t believe how close she was to finding her father. And yet he was married with another family. What if he didn’t like her? What if he turned her away and everything her mother had told her would be painfully confirmed? What if, what if, what if…

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter

And I wait for the good lord to make me feel better

I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders

Family in crisis that only grows older

So why’d you have to go

Why’d you have to go

Daughter to father

Daughter to father

I am broken but I am hoping

Daughter to father

Daughter father

I am crying

Apart of me is dying

And these are, these are the confessions of a broken heart

            There were some nights when she hated the rain. The roof leaked above her bed, always keeping her up during a thunder storm. She was thankful that the thunder was drowning out the sound of her mother having sex in the living room. Sometimes to make herself feel better she would pretend the rain was her friends. Each drop coming by to visit and then quickly leaving. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her doorknob jiggling. She pulled the covers over her head to pretend she was sleeping. At 13 years old this was still the same trick she pulled to get out of her mother and her mothers’ boyfriend’s schemes. This time it seemed to not work. She felt the covers being snatched from her. Startled she made a yelp when John stood in front of her nude with a hard on. She backed up against the wall as he tried to pet her head. Thankfully her mother had came in the room wearing a t-shirt.

I wear all your old clothes

Your polo sweater

I dream of another you

One who would never

Leave me alone to pick up the pieces

Daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed

So why’d you have to go

Why’d you have to go

“What the fuck are you doing?” she shouted at John.

John rubbed his hands over his face, “Ah Joyce, I’m drunk as shit.”

Eve looked at her mother, “Stop looking at him,” her mother barked slapping her against the face.

            Joyce angrily pushed John out of the room. She lit a cigarette before slamming the door shut to her bedroom. Eve dove under her covers as fast as she could and started to cry. She wished John would disappear and her real father would save her. Save her from all the madness and hurt that she had to endure.

Daughter to father

Daughter to father

I don’t know you, but I still want too

Daughter to father

Daughter to father

Tell me the truth did you ever love me

Cause these are the confessions of a broken

Of a broken heart…

Chapter 5
 

            What turned into a one night stay ended up a month long adventure. Eve had gotten used to the Littrell’s and their hospitality towards her. Jackie had broken down to Harold about why Eve was really staying with them. At first he was a little cold to the idea but then warmed over. Seeing as they didn’t have any daughters they made her feel at home. It was a very hot Kentucky morning when Eve had crept out of her room. The house was very quiet for a Saturday. She peaked out back and noticed Jackie in her sun hat tending to her garden. She poured a glass of lemonade and stepped outside in the hot sun.

“It’s a little too hot out here to be gardening isn’t it?” Eve asked.

Jackie smiled at her, “A little but the weather is perfect and my Peonies will grow beautifully in it.”

“I see, here,” she said offering the glass to her.

“Thank you dear. Sit, you can help me plant.”

            Eve sat cross legged on the floor raking the soil. All of sudden she started to cough uncontrollably. Jackie immediately dropped her shovel and started to rub her back.

“Are you ok? Do you need medicine?” she asked.

“No… I’m fine. It’s just a cough. I keep getting them on and off all the time.”

“It’s probably allergy related. Go back inside the house and cool off for a bit.”

“That’s ok… you mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“When do I get to meet Brian?”

Silence fell between them, “I don’t know dear…”

“You don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?”

“A little bit of both.”

Eve sighed, “Then why keep me here?”

“To get to know you. You are still part of this family.”

“I understand that but I want to meet my father.”

“In time, but right now isn’t a good one. Can you help me up?”

            Pushing her feelings aside Eve helped Jackie off the ground. They walked back quietly inside the house. Sadness had started to overcome her when she got inside. She couldn’t understand why they couldn’t meet now. Even if it was just for a minute, she wanted to know that she existed to him. She noticed Jackie shuffling through her purse.

“Going out?” she asked.

“Yes I have to make a run to the store real quick. I will be back in a flash!” she chimed.

            Once she was sure Jackie had gotten down the road she dashed off to the Littrell’s bedroom. Desperately she searched around something, anything that could give her information about Brian. Successfully she found a letter that had been sent out months ago from Atlanta, Georgia. She remembered Jackie saying that’s where he lived now with his new family. Finding a pen and paper she quickly jotted down his information. It was a little hard to look things but in the house. With Harold and Jackie’s age they didn’t feel the need to use computers. Excitement started to fill her as she put everything back in place and left the room.

*-------*

            Later that night everyone had sat around the table eating the food that both she and Jackie had prepared. She had to admit she absolutely loved the wholesome family setting. It was a big change from her dysfunction home life she had led.

“So anything new today?” Harold asked.

“No, I looked at some colleges today,” Eve said.

“Oh?” Jackie chimed, “You didn’t tell me!”

“Well I wasn’t sure at first but now I think I’d like to start taking some tours.”

“Where are you looking into?” Harold asked setting his fork down.

“University of Florida and MIT to name a few.”

“Those sound good.”

“Why not somewhere close by?” Jackie asked

“I’ve lived a small city life for so long that I would like a change of location while I’m studying. Either the city or somewhere where it’s always Sunny.”

“That’s wonderful, a scenery change could be good for. Get out there and explore all your options.”

“Harold… But Eve, going someplace unknown can be a bit troubling.”

“Dear you felt this way when Brian left. She’s a risk taker like him.”

Jackie became silent, “I supposed.”

“Well I’m done with dinner! I’ll wash the dishes,” Eve announced.

            She quickly got up from the table with her plate and went into the kitchen. Quietly she washed the dishes thinking about Jackie’s reaction to her announcement. A hand came near her and instantly her defensive rose. She backed up nearly dropping the plate on the floor. Harold looked at her puzzled.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “I don’t like being snuck up on.”

“It’s ok… I came in here to talk to you.”

“Talk away Mr. Littrell.”

“Grandpa, call me Grandpa and I know what you’re trying to do.”

Eve continued to watch the dishes but avoided eye contact, “What am I doing?”

“You want to find him? I understand and I think you should. Your Grandmother… she can be over protective about things. She thinks she’s doing what’s best for you and Brian. You both deserve to know each other.”

“Thank you”

“Don’t thank me… here,” he said handing her an envelope, “I’ve been holding onto this for a few weeks waiting for you to come around.”

She opened it to reveal a ticket to Atlanta, Georgia, “Oh my…”

“I didn’t give this to you,” he said with a smile before walking away.

            Eve stuffed the envelope into her pocket and went back to washing the dishes. She couldn’t keep from smiling and tearing up. ‘I’m going to find him!’ she thought over and over to herself. Now all she had to do was get there.

*--------*

            Jackie had been out with her book club members. They had decided on going to the local golf resort to have lunch and read. Since she was going to be awhile Harold took it upon himself to drive Eve to the airport. During the entire drive they barely said a word to each other. She was so nervous she felt like she was going to throw up.

“Good luck,” Harold said out of nowhere.

“Thank you.”

He leaned over and hugged her, “I know my son. He’s a good man, you won’t be let down. But try not to get your hopes up too quickly ok?” he said.

“I will”

“Be careful.”

“I promise”

            With that she got out of the car and headed for the inside of the airport. She had never flown anywhere before and she was doing this alone. ‘You’ve come this far,’ she told herself trying to let courage push through instead of fear.

“I can do this,” she said, “I can do this.”