I was pissed beyond belief. Just wait till I get a hold of my daughter’s father. His skinny ass was grass. To say I was upset was an understatement. I was downright mad bordering on murder. My daughter would be fatherless, but I was totally unequivocally okay with it.

I grabbed my cell phone and punched in the number. My anger was not subsiding. In fact, I was getting madder by the minute.

“J’s phone.”

“NICK FUCKING CARTER. GET THE SKINNY ASSHOLE OF A BASTARD ON THE PHONE NOW!!!” I shouted.

“Whoa calm down, Leah.”

“I will not calm the fuck down. I just want to talk to the lousy son of a bitch. Why are you answering his phone?”

“He’s busy at the moment.”

“Apparently not busy enough to know what’s going on. He’s probably too busy fucking groupies.” I commented rudely.

“What did he do now?” Nick chuckled. “You know how your temper turns me on.”

“What hasn’t he done? He’s pissed off the wrong woman. I’m in no mood for your sexual innuendos.” I spat. Nick was giving me a bigger headache then I already had.

“You know one fuck from me will make you forget whatever J’s done.”

“No thank you. I’m a happily engaged woman. All my needs are being met. Thank you very much.”

“You’re loss, babe. I’ll go get J.”

The few minutes it took to get AJ, gave me a chance to compose my thoughts. I was going to rip him a new one. He’s seen me mad, but when it comes to my daughter I don’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings. AJ knew that, so he dug his own grave this time.

“Hello Leah. How can I help you?” AJ asked in a friendly voice. He wasn’t going to be friendly after our conversation.

“You Mother Fucking Bastard Asshole of a Dad.”

“Calm down, Leah. Breathe…in and out, in and out.” He joked.

“It’s not funny. I will not calm down. Have you seen the picture of your daughter on Twitter?” I growled. I started to pace. It was a habit of mine when I was angry.

“Umm…no I haven’t.” He paused. “Nick give me your phone.”

I waited for him to log on and see his fourteen year old daughter’s picture.

“Holy shit!” He commented into the phone.

“What the hell is going on? I can’t believe you would let Eden wear something like that on tour.”

“I didn’t know she owned clothes like that. She’s been wearing jeans every time we’re together.” He puffed on his cigarette. “I’m just as shocked as you are.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen her act like this. Maybe she shouldn’t be on tour with you.” I wanted to protect my little girl. I didn’t want her to repeat the mistakes her parents made. Eden didn’t need to grow-up that fast.

“Leah, that’s not fair. I hardly ever see her the way it is. Summer is my time for her. Let me talk to her.” AJ pleaded.

“Something’s wrong. Eden would never do this. It’s a cry for attention. Maybe it’s better for her to spend the summer in Georgia instead of traveling around Europe.” I stopped. I don’t think AJ got it. He didn’t spend every day with his daughter. Eden was a good girl. She was nothing like I was as a teenager. “I just don’t want her to make the same mistakes we did. We both screwed up a lot.”

“She won’t be like us. We’ve engraved that into her head since she could breathe. Let me talk to her and I’ll get back to you.” AJ was ready to get off the phone. Leah was getting on his nerves, but this was nothing new.

“Don’t you dare hang up on me Alexander? Maybe I should come on tour with her. That way you can spend time together and I can watch over her when you’re busy.” I suggested. It would make me feel better being with my daughter.

“No, I can handle our daughter on my own. I don’t think you trust me.”

“I trust you enough. I don’t trust my teenager in Europe. Look what happened to us in Germany all those years.” I pointed out. AJ hated that I threw up the past all time.

“We wouldn’t have Eden if we didn’t have that time together in Germany. I don’t regret that one moment, but the rest I do. I think you just want to come on tour to spend time with your fiancé.”

“That’s not true. This has nothing to do with my current relationship. It sounds like you’re jealous.”

“Maybe I am. If you want to come on tour, fine do so. I can’t stop you. You always do what you want.” AJ hung up on me. Damn him to hell.

I quickly got my suitcase out of the closet. I began throwing clothes and crap inside.

AJ’s last comment pissed me off.  He thought I was only coming on tour to see my fiancé. That was not the case. He never even crossed my mind.

I cared about my daughter. Her behavior was puzzling. I had never her seen her wearing the outfit she was wearing. Eden would never wear a short pleated skirt to her ass and a tiny tank top. She was more responsible than I was at that age. For her to post a picture for everyone to see was shocking. Eden had it together, but this was so unlike her.

Once my suitcase was packed, I made a call to Jen, BSB’s manager. I needed to get the correct tour information. I would be flying into Germany.

The cab picked me up and drove me to the airport. My temper had not cooled off. In fact it had only gotten worse. I was not looking forward to this trip.

AJ’s Point of View

I slammed my phone on the table after I hung up on the bitch of the century. It was hard to believe I ever loved her. Our relationship was venomous on a good day. Leah was a thorn in my side that never went away. If we didn’t share a daughter, I would have ran her over with my tour bus years ago.

“What did Leah want?” Nick sat down beside me. He always had a thing for Leah. She was hot, and I knew they were bangin’ the head boards years ago. Leah could certainly act all prim and proper now, but in the past she was nothing more than a slut.

“Eden posted a provocative photo of herself on Twitter.”

“Shit. She’s a gorgeous girl, but what the hell is she thinking?”

“Please don’t comment on my daughter’s look. If you think she’s gorgeous, you’ll want to sleep with her, you douche bag.” I was getting annoyed by everyone.

“Umm…that’s illegal. Just because I said she’s beautiful doesn’t mean anything except that she’s beautiful.”

“Nick you will fuck anyone with boobs and a pussy. Don’t even think of messing with my daughter.”  I quickly got up and left the room. I couldn’t take anymore of this shit in my life. For the last few years everything was back to normal. Leah always had to cause trouble in my life.

As I walked down the hall, I pondered whether to go smoke or get something to eat. My decision was made crystal clear when I saw Eden sitting at a table with Brian. I wanted to have a chat with my daughter.

I grabbed a soda and walked over to the table. I sat down next to Eden. She didn’t even know I was there. She was having an in-depth conversation about religion with Brian. . Damn, she was smarter than me.

“Eden we need to talk.” I interrupted.

“Umm…okay…umm dad.” Eden said unsurely. It was like she didn’t want to associate with me. Our relationship was strained, but I didn’t know how to fix it. “Brian, we can talk later. Thanks for explaining that to me.” She smiled at him.

“Anytime sweetheart. I’m going to go make a phone call. See ya later.” Brian squeezed her hand and left.

“What’s up?” Eden started looking at her nails.

“I talked to your mother earlier. She told me about a picture you posted on Twitter. Why the fuck are you wearing that?” I attempted to stay calm, but my temper got the best of me.

“It’s none of your business.” My daughter answered calmly. She was just as composed as her mother.

“I think it is. I’m your father.”

“You’re my father three months a year. The rest of the time you don’t even know I exist. Hell you hardly spend time with me now.” Eden replied with a hard-edged tone. “Your bodyguard knows more about me.”

“That’s not true. I spend time with you every day.” Sure, I would never win father of the year, but I wasn’t as bad as my daughter was portraying me.

“Being in the same room does not qualify as spending time together.” She stood up. “Just forget it. You don’t get it and you never will.”

Then she stormed out of the room. I didn’t know whose temper she had mine or Leah’s. It was probably a combination of both. I felt sorry for anyone who made her mad.

I place my head on the table. My day was getting worse.  My ex-whatever the hell she was and my daughter hated me. I knew I was an ass, but cut a guy some slack. I was trying to be a better dad and man, but apparently it wasn’t working.

“Is everything okay?”

“Brian, why the hell do you care?” I said bitterly. I really didn’t want to get advice from Saint Brian. He was already on my shit list. I pretended to get along with him for the sake of the group. At the moment I just wanted to throttle him.

“Eden is a great girl. She deserves to have her father in her life.”

“I know that dipshit. I am in her life.”

“When you feel like it. She’s spending the summer with you, yet I haven’t seen you spend more than five minutes with her.” Brian commented like he knew everything about my relationship with my daughter.

“That’s not fucking true. We spend time on the bus together.” I wanted to kick his ass to the moon. “It’s really none of your business.”

“It is when Eden makes it my business. I feel sorry for you. You have a great daughter and you could care less.” Brian glared at me. He thought he was so high and mighty.

“That’s right you get to spend the entire year with my daughter. I get three fuckin’ months. Nothing I do is right. She has you as her future stepfather. Maybe I should just give up my rights and you can be her dad.” I knocked the chair over as I stood up. I already felt guilty without Brian confirming what an ass I really was. “Brian fuck off.”

As I entered the hallway I saw Eden standing against the wall. From the look on her face I knew she heard my conversation with Brian. The closer I got to her the more I noticed the tears streaming down her face.

“Eden…I’m sorry you had…to…hear that.” I couldn’t get the words out.

“Whatever. You had no right to yell at Brian. He’s done nothing wrong. At least he cares about me.” She started to walk away.

“I care about you Eden. I’ve loved you, your entire life.”

“Just leave me alone.” She ran down the hall.

No matter what I did, it was always wrong. At this point I didn’t know what to do. Maybe Eden’s life would be better without me in it. She had Brian and didn’t need me. My day was going to hell. I needed a cigarette.

Leah’s Point of View

Finally I was sitting in the airplane ready to make my way to Dusseldorf, Germany. We had just taken off. It was going to be the longest nine hours of my life. I was grateful that I was able to get a non-stop flight to Germany. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I needed to get there fast. My daughter needed me.

Earlier I had talked to Brian. He told me about the argument he had with AJ. Some things would never change. He would complain about how he never spent time with Eden, but he never made the extra effort. During his free time he could come to Georgia and see her. I never had a problem with it. AJ liked the attention he got from the pity parties he hosted.

I leaned back in my seat and tried to relax. Then tension in my back wouldn’t go away. I wanted to scream and cause a scene because I was livid at the moment. Instead I closed my eyes and attempted to meditate. Years of therapy taught me to control my anger. I wish I could say that for AJ. I started to relax and think about my past with AJ.

*Flashback – Get Wild*

“I can’t believe you got tickets to see them.” I squealed. My best friend Shana had awesome connections in Germany. Shana and I were Army brats living in Germany with our parents.

“Even better, we’re staying at the same hotel.”

“I love you. This is going to be awesome. Hopefully we can hookup.” I grinned. My goal was to sleep with a Backstreet Boy. My number one choice was AJ. He was fine as hell.

“They are never going to sleep with us. We’re underage.” Shana was a good girl. I on the other hand was a wild child. I blame my parents for me being that way. They were strict and never let me do anything. They were strict Christians, which only made me want to rebel more.

“So, I’ll tell AJ that I’m eighteen. Everyone thinks I look older.”I flipped my dark brown hair behind my shoulder.

We arrived at the hotel and were going up to our room. “Hold the elevator.”A male voice called out. I shoved my arm in the doorway of the elevator and waited for the voice to appear.

“Thank you girls.” He smiled at me. I wanted to scream like a little girl, but I held it in. It was none other than sexier than life itself AJ McLean.

“You’re welcome. What floor, sexy?”

His eyes twinkled and he pressed the number five which was already lit. Damn, we were lucky enough to get on the same floor as the Backstreet Boys. I was going to kiss Shana for setting this up.

“You really think I’m sexy.” He smirked.

“Of course.” I batted my eyes at him. “What’s your name sexy?”

“I’m AJ and what’s your name beautiful?”

“I’m Leah and this is my friend Shana. We’re going to be staying here for the next couple days.”

“So are my friends and I.”

“Really?” I tossed my hair back. I could see that he was interested in me. “Maybe we can hang out sometime before you leave.” I suggested in a flirty voice.

“The guys and I are headed to the pool. You’re more than welcome to join us.”  He smiled at me. The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

“We’d love to. See you in a few AJ.” I waved to him as he disappeared down the hall.

“I can’t believe it.” Shana looked at me. “Only you would meet the man of your dreams two minutes after we get here.”

“He’s not the man of my dreams. He’s the man that I want in my bed.”I said seriously. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it. Sure I was only fifteen, but I wasn’t a virgin. I had enough experience that AJ would think I was eighteen.

We quickly changed into our swimsuits. I wore a bright yellow string bikini. Shana wore a modest two piece. Then we headed to the pool.

“Hello girls.” AJ whistled at me.

“Hey sexy!”

He introduced us to the rest of the guys, but I wasn’t paying attention. I only wanted one thing…AJ McLean. I didn’t care about Nick or Brian or the other two dudes.  Shana was swimming and chatting with the guys. I was busy making my move on AJ.

“Why don’t we go somewhere I little more private?” I suggested.

“Umm…s.s.s.sure…that s.s.ssounds…nnnnice.” He stuttered. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. A few minutes later we were in my hotel room.

I shut the door and walked over to AJ. Without a moment of hesitation my lips were on his. I could feel the kinetic energy between us. I opened my mouth to let his tongue in to explore. It was explosive and all I wanted to do was undress him and have my way with him. Slowly I backed him into the wall. Slowly I pushed his swim trunks down. AJ’s body was happy with what I was doing. I kneeled down in front of him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m giving you the world’s best blow job.” He commented with a grunt. I slowly stroked his hardness. His head banged against the wall. Slowly I licked the tip.

“Oh fuck, Leah.”

“You like that? Just wait until my lips are on you.” Slowly I licked up his cock and then took him inside me mouth. His hands went to my hair. I continued sucking him faster and faster taking all of him in my mouth.

“Oh God, I’m gunna cum.” Then his body started to shudder. “Leah, that was fucking amazing.”

“You’re welcome, sexy.” I quickly stripped out of my bikini. AJ stood there staring at my nakedness. “I want you.”

“You want me to what?” He asked as he moved closer to me.

“I want you to fuck me until I scream out your name.” I whispered into his ear. He picked me up and placed me on the bed. His mouth crushed mine as his hands roamed my body. We wasted no time with foreplay; we both wanted him inside of me.

I opened my eyes after remembering the first time I met AJ. I realized now that our relationship was toxic from the beginning. Worse was that I initiated it. I wasn’t that girl now. It embarrassed me to think I was nothing more than a slut in AJ’s eyes. I couldn’t change the past, which is why I made the conscious effort years ago to change my present and future. I grew up and found out that love was not about sex. Life had taught me hard lessons. These memories still haunted me, especially seeing the change in my daughter.

AJ’s Point of View

Today was a busy day for me. I had a radio interview, photo shoot, and concert. There would hardly be any time to spend with Eden. Fuck my life. All I wanted to do was spend the day with my daughter hanging out. She probably wouldn’t want to hang out with me anyway. It sucked having your daughter hate you.

Just as I stepped out of the shower I heard a knock at the door. I found a towel and wrapped it around my waist. I padded to the door and opened it. Quickly I closed it again. I took a deep breath and counted to ten. This time I opened the door and walked away.

“Well that’s a nice, welcoming reception.” Leah replied indifferently. She entered the room with her usual frosty attitude.

“I think you’ve got the wrong room. Brian’s room is three doors down.” I leaned against the wall. It was her favorite position to see me in. She gave me a quick glance; her eyes penetrating my soul. Damn her, I hated her so much, but my body betrayed me. I just wanted to fuck her.

“I’m not here for Brian. We need to figure out what’s troubling Eden.” Leah sat down on the bed.

“Let me change and we can go down for breakfast and talk.” I grabbed my clothes and started to dress.

“Can’t you do that in the bathroom?”

“You’ve never minded before.” I grumbled and took my clothes to the bathroom. I loved pissing Leah off, but today I didn’t want to deal with her wrath.

A few minutes later I was dressed and ready to go. We headed down to the hotel restaurant. We both got some coffee and were sitting without saying a word. It was typical for us. If we weren’t fighting, then we weren’t talking.

“Why did you feel the need to come to Germany?” I asked.

“Because you would never find out what is wrong with our daughter.”

“That’s not true.” I raised my voice. Leah just stared at me for a moment.

“Brian said that you barely talk to Eden. He said all you do is fight.” Damn she looked good. Her shoulder length hair was perfectly tousled. Her dark eyes were brooding with fire and ice. Man, did I want what I couldn’t have.

“We don’t fight all the time.”

“Brian told me about the argument you had with her after our conversation. He said she was visibly upset especially after she heard your fight with him.”

“Enough about Brian.” I grabbed her wrist. “Just because he fucks you at night doesn’t give him the right to tell me how to be a father.” She pulled her hand out of my grasp.

“He’s been more of a father to Eden than you have.” Leah hissed. “I can’t help it your jealous of my relationship with Brian.”

“I’m not jealous of Brian. I feel sorry for him. He must like being the third Backstreet Boy to stick his dick in you.” It was a low blow, but I couldn’t help it. Leah pissed me off. She looked at me in surprise. Her eyes flickered with hate and then a trace of sadness. “Remember I’ll always be your first Backstreet fuck.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Her voice faltered a little as she got the words out. She thought I didn’t know about her and Nick. I knew I got her. Score one point for AJ McLean. It was cruel, but I didn’t care.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Her face paled. She could pretend all she wanted, I knew the truth.

“My love life is none of your business. Let’s get back to our daughter.”

“Did I hit a sore spot?” I laughed until I saw daggers shoot from her eyes. “I asked her about it, but she wouldn’t talk to me.”

“I’m just trying to understand it. She’s usually so levelheaded. This isn’t like her.” Her voice was filled with worry.

“Maybe we should talk to her together. Honestly, I don’t think she took that picture while she’s been here.”

“That worries me even more.” She sipped her coffee, while I played with my spoon. Neither of us knew what to do in this situation. Eden has always been the good girl. She got good grades and had more common sense then two of us combined. She never got into any trouble.

-----------------

Leah and I waited for Eden to come back from babysitting Howie’s daughter Amelia. It was the longest hour of my life. Neither of us was talking. The silence was killing me.  Finally the door opened and Eden walked in.

“Mom!”She ran over to Leah. “What are you doing here?”

“Eden, I’ve missed you so much. I came here to see you.” Leah hugged her mother. I felt a pang of jealously. Eden was never this happy to see me.

“Mom, I thought you were busy planning the wedding.”

“Baby, I can plan it from anywhere. Your dad and I need to talk to you.”

“Umm…okay. About what?” Eden sat on the couch in the living room of the suite.

“I saw the picture you posted on Twitter.”

“Oh.” Eden’s face didn’t show any emotions.  I wonder what she was thinking.

“Can you tell us about the photo?” I asked gently. I made a promise to myself to not freak out. I would remain cool, calm, and collected,

“It’s not what you think.” She answered quickly. It was a little to quick in my book. She was trying to hide something.

“Eden, don’t be afraid to tell us. We’re just concerned about you. That picture was in appropriate.” Leah looked at her daughter.

“Mom, it was taken a few weeks ago. Sierra, Maddy,  Arria, and I were bored.” She took a breath. “We decided to make ourselves up like superstars. I decided to be Britney Spears in Baby One More Time. We took some photos. I posted it on Twitter as a joke.” Eden stayed composed the whole time she told her story. Something wasn’t jiving with this story.

“Eden, you have to watch posting pictures like that. People are going to say things about you that aren’t true.” Leah explained to our daughter. “Boys might get ideas in their heads and try to take advantage of you.”

“I’m sorry mom and dad. I didn’t think about it. What’s my punishment?”

“Just take down the photo.” I told her.

“Okay. I’ll go do that now.” She stood up and went to her room.

“She’s not telling the truth.” I told Leah.

“Why would she lie? I believe her.” She gave me a disgusted look. We both knew Eden was a good girl, but my gut feeling was that she was lying.

“I don’t know, but her story doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Whatever AJ. I think you like to make things bigger than what they are.”

“That’s not true. You were the one that was so worried you flew to Germany. You could have asked her that on the phone. What’s the real reason you are here?”

“I’m here for my daughter which is more than I can say for you.” She got up. “I’ll be back later. I need some time away from you.” With that she left the suite.

Leah’s Point of View

AJ’s comments didn’t sit well with me. Eden was always honest with me. I don’t see why she would need to lie to me now. It worried me that AJ thought our daughter was hiding something.

I spotted a coffee shop and went inside. I got a cup of coffee and a pastry and sat down. I tried to relax for a few minutes, but my body was tense. I needed to learn to relax. I sat back and closed my eyes for a moment. Thought from my past were haunting me.

*Flashback*

I stood outside the apartment afraid to knock. Normally I was fearless and bold, but today I was actually nervous. Slowly my finger touched the doorbell. I heard the chiming of the doorbell and waited for the door to open.

“Hello!” AJ’s mother said as she opened the door. She looked from my face to my protruding belly. Then she looked back at my face with disillusionment. “You look familiar. How may I help you?”

“I’m a friend of AJ’s. I need to talk to him.”

“He’s not home at the moment. Would you like to come in and wait?” Denise said softly. I nodded my head. She escorted me into the apartment.

I stood in the living room feeling uncomfortable. I was ready to breakdown, but I stayed strong. I didn’t like people knowing I was weak. My dad had taught me that since I was a little kid. I guess that was the only advice I ever took from him.

“Have a seat.” She motioned for me to sit down. I slowly took a seat on the couch.”Who are you?”

I knew Denise McLean was curious about having a pregnant teenage girl on her doorstep. I was betting it was even weirder since I said I was a friend of AJ’s. He was a pop sensation what would he be doing with a pregnant friend.

“I’m Leah Foster. I met AJ this summer in Germany. We hung out for a few weeks.” I said politely.

“Now, I remember you. How are you dear?”

“I’m as well as I pregnant girl can be.” I said lightly. Denise made me nervous. I could see the wheels turning inside her head. She was putting two and two together.

“What brings you to Florida?”

“My family is originally from here. My dad is in the military, so that’s why I was in Germany. My mom decided that we come back to Florida.” I rubbed my sweaty hands on my jeans. I didn’t want to make small talk with Denise. I just wanted to talk to AJ.

“How far are you along?”Denise cut to the chase. She waited for my answer without taking a breath.

“I’m four months. I’m due at the end of March.”

“Is Alex…the…fath…” She started to question, but got interrupted by AJ coming inside.

“Hey mom. Do you mind if Amanda and I go out tonight?” He walked in with a pretty girl. I looked at him. He was still just as sexy as I remembered. “Umm Leah…what are…you…you…doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I think I need to go. Forget about tonight Alex.” The girl said and walked out.

AJ was unsure of what to say next. He just stood there looking at me. His mom was watching his reaction toward me. It was a mix of lust and hate.

“Mom can you leave us alone for a while?”AJ asked her without taking his eyes off me.

“I’d rather we go somewhere else. Let’s go for a walk. I saw a park a few minutes from here.” I wanted to talk to him privately without his mother ease dropping on us. I had a lot of explaining to do.

“Fine, let’s go.”

We walked quietly to the park. AJ seemed upset by my presence. I had a feeling things weren’t going to go well. When we got to the park we found a bench to sit on.

“Why are you here Leah?” He came right out with it. AJ started playing with the hem of his t-shirt. I knew he was anxious.

“AJ, I’m pregnant.”

“That’s obvious. What does that have to do with me?” He stared at me. Wasn’t it obvious to him? Why would I be in Florida telling him I was pregnant.

“AJ you’re the father.”

“What?”He choked out.

“The last few times we had sex we didn’t use a condom. Now I’m pregnant with your baby.” I blurted out.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”Clearly he was upset. “My career is just starting to take off.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on this happening.” I yelled at him. “It takes two people to get pregnant.”

“I know that. You don’t have to be a bitch about it.” He stood up and started pacing.

“I’m not trying to be a bitch. My life has spiraled out of control the past two weeks. You don’t even know what I’ve gone through.”I hollered at him. Within five minutes of talking he was already getting on my last nerve.

“I’m sorry your life sucks at the moment. I hardly even know you. We spent a few weeks together having fun.”

“You never thought you would see me again. I get it.” I laughed bitterly. “You thought I was a good fling and you would come back to your little girlfriend. Don’t feel bad for using me. I did the same to you.”

“You bitch. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time. I cared about you. You were more than just sex.” I didn’t believe him. How could anyone care about me? I wasn’t worthy. My parents had proved that to me.

“Well, apparently you moved on. I don’t care. I just wanted to let you know I was pregnant with your child.” I started to walk away.

“You can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

“Fine. You want to know the truth. When I found out I was pregnant, I hid the truth from my parents. They are so strict and don’t believe in sex before marriage. Two weeks ago, they realized I was pregnant. My father kicked me out. I got my shit and came back to Orlando. He was pissed because his fifteen year old daughter was a whore.”

“Wait, you’re fifteen?” He interrupted.

“Yes, I lied to you AJ. You wouldn’t have looked at me if I told you the truth.” I blinked back tears. “I had no where to go, so I’ve been staying in a cheap motel about three miles from your house. I finally got the nerve to come tell you today.”

“Leah, I’m sorry you had to go through this.” He held me in his arms. The tears I’d wanted to cry finally fell from my eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

“AJ, I never wanted this to happen. I thought it was just a fling.” I looked up at him. “I have no where to go. I’m almost out of money. After tomorrow I’ll be out on the streets.”

“I won’t let that happen. You can live with me. My baby can’t live on the streets.” AJ rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head.”It’s going to be okay.”

*End of flashback*

After reliving that moment of my life again, I realized that I was a hurtful, manipulative person in the past. I have grown up since then, but when it came to AJ, I felt like I went back to my old ways. From day one with him it was always a battle. Even today, it was a battle of wills between us. I needed to come to terms with my relationship with AJ and stop this battle. Fifteen years later, it was eating a hole in my heart.

Leah’s point of view

Eden and I were sitting in the living room of the suite when the guys got back from their concert. Howie was carrying his little boy and his wife was holding his daughter. They were the picture perfect family. Nick walked right past us heading to his room.

“Leah, baby.” Brian sat down next to me. He took my hand and placed a kiss on it. Brian was always a gentleman.

“It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.” I tousled his hair. Eden smiled at us. She loved Brian a lot.

“I’ve missed you, too. I hate being away from you.” He smiled at me. “Eden are you glad your mom came?”

“Yeah. It’s nice having her around.” She stood up. “Good night. Enjoy catching up with each other.” Without a moment’s hesitation she was gone.

“Sooo” He started playing with my hair. “How long do you plan on staying?”

“As long as you want me to. I don’t want to interfere with the tour.” I slowly straddled him. It had been almost a month since I had seen my fiancé. I slowly kissed up to his ear and started sucking gently on his ear lobe.

“Would you two get a room? No one wants to see live porno.” AJ’s voice boomed. I quickly got off of Brian’s lap and sat on the coffee table. Brian’s eyes were closed in frustration.

“If you don’t like what you see, go to your room.” I retorted. Why did he always have to be around? I never got five minutes peace when AJ was around. This was one of the reasons I didn’t go on tour.

“Baby just ignore him. He’s just trying to get your goat.” Brian replied calmly. He wished that everyone could just get along. “Let’s go cuddle in bed and leave Bone to watch some porn.”

“You’re funny Rok.” AJ pretended to laugh. He did not find Brian amusing.

-------------------------

AJ’s Point of View

I sat on the couch flipping through the TV channels. Everyone was having fun but me. Well, at least Brian and Leah were having a good time together. I sucked at this jealousy thing. Yes, I was jealous of Brian Littrell. Any guy that was with Leah had me jealous. You would think after the hell she’s put me through I would hate her. She still held my heart and wouldn’t let go. I’d never admit that to her, but it was true.

*Flashback 2000*

“Are you sure about this? You’re both so young” My mom asked me for the hundredth time.

“Yes, I’m sure. I love her. Things have been good lately.”

“I’m glad things have been good for the two of you. I want you to be sure that you’re willing to be with her for the next fifty some years.”

“Mom, there’s no one else I can see myself with. Sure, we fight a lot, but we’re able to work things out.” I smiled. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Leah. I wanted to be a good husband and father. Leah and Eden were my life.

“Okay, Alex. When do you plan on asking her?”

“Next week when the tour is over. Can you babysit Eden for the night?”

“Eden is always welcome to spend time with her grandma.”

“Thanks. She should be back any moment. I’ll talk to you soon. Love ya. Bye.” I hung up the phone. I was waiting for Leah to get back. She had gone clubbing with Howie, Kevin and Nick. I stayed in with Eden.

I couldn’t sleep. All I wanted to do what cuddle up with Leah. Things were going well for us. Both of us were getting along and communicating. Things were definitely moving in the right direction.

I got out of bed and decided to get something to eat in the kitchen. We were lucky to have a suite this time. I was looking at the snacks on the table when I heard laughter coming from Nick’s room. Apparently he forgot to shut the door. I walked over to shut it. A boy needs privacy when he was with a woman.

“Mmmm….Leah ride me baby.” Nick screamed. “Make me cum.”

Leah started giggling and moaning. I moved closer to the door. I saw my girlfriend riding my brother. It made me sick to my stomach. His hands were on her breasts and she was enjoying it. My fucking heart was breaking. I quickly shut the door so no one else would see. Then I made my way to my room. I picked up Eden and placed her in bed with me. Tears started streaming down my face.

“Da-da why yoo cwying?” Eden looked at me with her chocolate brown eyes. She wiped a tear from my face.

“Da-da is sad, but you cuddling with me makes it all better.” I stroked her hair.

“I wuv yoo da-da. I make it better.” She wrapped her little arms around me and closed her eyes.

How many times had Leah cheated on me? Was this the first time? How many of my friends had she slept with? So many questions were going through my mind. I was a worrier and situations like this took it to a higher level of anxiety.

*End of Flashback*

Eden walked out of her room holding her cell phone. It was too late to be calling anyone. Most likely she was playing on the internet or texting her friends.

“Hey sweetheart.” She jumped.

“Hi dad. You scared the crap out me.” She slumped into a chair.

“What you up to?

“Umm…nothing.” She replied as she typed on her phone.

“You texting with Arria.”

“Umm…yeah…sure.” She answered while not paying attention to me.

“You’re going to stay on Nick’s tour bus.”

“Okay.” With that response I grabbed her cell phone from her hands.

“Dad give it back.” She screeched.

“You weren’t even listening to what I was saying.”

“That’s because you never say anything worth listening to.” Eden commented with a roll of her eyes.

“Excuse me?” I was stunned at my daughter’s attitude. Usually she was sweet and polite.

“Just leave me alone and give me back my phone.”

“I’ll be keeping your phone overnight. You need to go to bed.” I put her phone in my pocket.

“You’re an asshole.” She yelled loud enough to wake the dead. “I’m going to tell mom.”

“Go right ahead.” At that moment Leah and Brian entered the living room. Leah was wearing Brian’s t-shirt and her hair was a mess. She looked sexy.

“What’s going on?” Brian asked clearly annoyed that they were interrupted.

“He took my phone and won’t give it back.” Eden pointed at me.

“Age, why did you take her phone?” Leah asked as she moved next to Eden.

“It’s one o’clock in the morning. She should be sleeping. I was talking to her and she didn’t even know what I was saying.”

“That’s every time you open your mouth.” Eden popped off.

“Eden Jamieson McLean that is enough. You do not talk to your father that way.” Leah used her mother tone on Eden.

“Whatever. It’s true. I just want my phone back.” She pouted.

“Eden you need to go to bed now. You can have your phone back tomorrow.” Leah stated firmly.

“But…mom.” Eden complained. Then she gave me a dirty look.

“Eden, not buts. Go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.” She stomped off to her room.

“Sorry that she woke you up.” I apologized. I was feeling guilty about doing my job as a dad.

“It’s fine. We’ll talk in the morning.” Leah and Brian left me alone in the room.

I sat down and took Eden’s phone from my pocket. I hated being a snoop, but I was going to find out what she was hiding.

AJ’s Point of View

 Sleep did not come to me last night. I was enraged about what I found on my daughter’s phone. I extremely pissed at Leah. She complained about me being a bad parent, yet things were going on underneath her nose. Maybe if she wasn’t up Brian’s ass all the time she would know something was off with Eden.

Leah entered the room looking refreshed. Her hair and make-up were perfectly in place. She was dressed in floral sundress. Usually I would think about how hot and sexy she was, but currently I wanted to throw her in a snake pit. Sure, I was over the top and dramatic, but that was me.

“AJ you look like hell. Didn’t you get any sleep?” She sat down across from me.

“No. While you were busy moaning Brian’s name, I was reading some interesting texts and emails on our daughter’s phone.”

“You really invaded your daughter’s privacy.” She looked at me in surprise. I felt like I had three heads. I wasn’t sorry about doing it.

“Eden’s not eighteen. We have every right to check her cell. The way I see it, she has no privacy until she can pay the bills.” I said forcefully. I shoved the phone in Leah’s hand. “Go ahead and take a look.”

Leah started scrolling through text messages and emails. The look on her face showed me that she couldn’t believe her daughter was behaving in such way. It was out of character for Eden.

“Fuck.” Leah threw the phone on the table. “What are we going to do? I’m afraid she’s going to get herself into a lot of trouble.”

“She’s been doing it a while. Don’t you check her phone?” I said through gritted teeth. I couldn’t wait to hear Leah’s excuses.

“I didn’t think I needed to. Eden’s always been level headed and responsible. I trusted her.”

“She’s fourteen fucking years old. That’s not an excuse. You make me out to be the bad parent all the time. You weren’t fucking doing your job.” My voice rose.

“AJ you make me out to be perfect. I’m not. I made a mistake. Sue me.” Leah’s voice got louder.

“Your one little mistake could have gotten our daughter into some precarious situations. It’s a good thing I decided to look at her phone.” I snarled.

“Goody for you. You get the parent of the year award for the one time you’ve actually done your job. Go to hell.” Leah spat as she stood up.

“I’ve been there since I met you.”

“Would you two stop yelling? That’s all you’ve done my whole life.” Eden grabbed her phone off the coffee table.

“Put the phone down. We need to talk now.” I said forcefully.

“I don’t have to listen to you.” Eden looked at her mom. Leah glanced at me, then Eden, and then me again.

“Eden, don’t start. AJ, we need to discuss this situation first.”

Eden looked unsurely at her parents. I could tell she knew something was wrong. I wanted to talk with my daughter at that exact moment, but Leah was right, we needed to discuss what to do about the situation. I nodded my head.

“Eden, please give me your phone.” Leah said sternly, holding her hand out.

“That’s not fair.” She complained while giving her mom the phone. “You said I could have it back this morning.”

“Right now I think you need some time away from your phone.”

“That’s stupid. I can’t believe you, mom. That’s my only connection with my friends this summer. Why are you doing this?” Eden plopped on the couch and pouted like a two year old.  I stood there watching not knowing what to do or say.

“Eden, your dad and I need to talk. We’ll have a chat about your phone later.” Leah turned towards me. “Let’s go get some breakfast downstairs.”

I followed Leah out of the suite. We were silent the entire way to the hotel restaurant. I don’t know who I was madder at Leah or Eden. Leah and I took a seat in a booth at the back of the restaurant. This way no one would bother us.

“So, do you know this guy she’s sending messages to?  Do you think they’ve done more than texting?” I couldn’t use the word sexting when it came to my daughter. I still thought of her as an extremely sweet and innocent four year old.

“It took me a while, but it’s Sierra’s older brother. I hope she hasn’t done anything else.”

” She took a sip of the coffee the waitress had poured.

“How old is this guy?” I cringed knowing that I wasn’t going to happy with the answer. I played with my spoon trying to distract myself from this nightmare.

“He just turned seventeen.”

“No wonder he’s all over her like that in his texts. I want to kill the little shithead.”

“I don’t think violence is the answer, Age. We need to handle this rationally. You can’t go flying off the handle because you’re pissed.” Leah remained calm and collected.  We were total opposites when it came to handling situations. Leah would remain calm until you annoyed her enough that she would freak out on you. I on the other hand would fly off the handle in an instant. My temper was short.

“No kidding. Can’t I just be a pissed off day for a few minutes.”

“Sure. Let me know when you are ready to talk.” She tapped her fingers on the table. Damn, she was annoying.

“Fine. What are we going to do?”

“We need to find out why she thinks its okay to be sexting.” Leah paused to compose herself. I could see her starting to breakdown. “How could I have been so stupid to not see this was going on? Was I to wrapped up in my work and Brian?”

“I don’t know Lee. It’s too late. It’s already happened. We need to work on fixing the situation.”

“I just feel guilty. I would like to think I’m a good mother and know my daughter, but I was wrong.” She wiped her eyes with a napkin. It sadden me that Leah thought this way. She had grown into an excellent mother.

“Babe, you’re a wonderful mom. Eden made a mistake. Think about all the mistake we made as teenagers. She has a good head on her shoulders. You helped her become a strong, independent young woman. Everything will work out.” I placed my hand on hers. She seemed to take comfort in my touch.

“I hope so. We have to present a strong parental front for her. Eden needs to realize that she did something wrong.” Leah moved her hand away from mine. I knew it was hard for her to have me touch her.

“I think we need to take her phone away from her for a while.”

“And her computer. I want to delete any inappropriate photos of her. Do you think that we can have her do some work for you guys? I think a little hard work would do her some good.”

“I can certainly find some jobs for her on the tour. Are you planning to say for a while?” I was curious as to how long I would be graced with her presence. It wasn’t that I minded her being on tour, but the things she made me feel could kill a man. No wonder I didn’t have a woman, I was still hung up on her.

“I plan on staying for two weeks. I’ll need to get back to work. I’m in charge of the charity ball at the hospital.” I could handle being with her for two weeks. Any longer than that and I would take the bridge. God, I needed to get laid.

Leah’s Point of View

Eden was dancing around the room with her iPod in her ears when AJ and I walked back in the suite. She definitely had the moves. That was one thing she picked up from her dad. Eden wasn’t aware that we were standing there watching. She spun around and saw us standing by the door.

“O-M-G!!! Don’t scare me like that!” Eden shrieked and fell back onto a chair. AJ and I started laughing.

“Sweetheart, you certainly have the moves.” AJ smiled. “You definitely got that from me.”

“It’s the only thing I got.” Eden mumbled under her breath. I gave her a look. I know that she was angry with her dad for a lot of reason, but I wish she would ease up on him a little bit. My fear was that she was going to regret her actions in the future.

“We need to have a talk with you.”

“About…what?” She looked puzzled. I took a seat next to AJ on the couch.

“Last night when I took your phone, I checked your texts and emails.” AJ told Eden calmly. Knowing how upset he was with the situation, I was surprised how composed he was.

“How dare you? You have no right to go through my phone.” Eden screamed. Then she looked at me. “Mom, how could you let him do this?”

“I didn’t know until he told me this morning. In all honesty, I’m glad he did.”

“I thought you were on my side. This is effin’ stupid.” Her voice rose. “That’s an invasion of my privacy.”

“Eden, at your age you have no privacy. Your mom pays for that phone. As your parents we have every right to check your phone.”

“Like you give a rat’s ass about me. You don’t even try to be a father to me when I’m around. Why act like one now?” She huffed. I could see the hurt in AJ’s eyes. I was feeling bad for him. It had to cut like a knife knowing your daughter felt that way about you.

“Stop it. You don’t need to yell at him. He’s your father. Please give him some respect.” I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop the headache I was getting.

“Mom, what about all the things you say about him? It’s okay for you to cuss him out for not being in my life, but I’m not allowed to say anything. I think the two of you are ganging up on me.”

“Regardless of what your mom thinks of me is neither here nor there. We are talking about you. Can you explain these messages you’ve been sending to some guy?” AJ was handling the heated conversation better than I expected. Normally he flew off the handle, but maybe that was only with me. He was proving that he could be a great parent.

Eden was caught off guard. She sat there with her mouth open wide. She sat up when she saw Brian enter the room.

“Is everything okay?” He asked me.

“Not really. I’ll fill you in later. AJ and I have it under control.” I told Brian quietly. He squeezed my shoulder and quickly left the suite.

“We’re waiting.”

“Fine. His name is Xavier. He’s Sierra’s older brother.”

“Do you know what you’re doing is inappropriate?”

“I guess. It was harmless. We were just playing around.” She said innocently.

“It’s not just playing around. You know you could get in trouble for those texts you’ve sent.” I educated my daughter. Apparently she wasn’t as smart as I gave her credit for.

“Mom, I don’t see where I did anything wrong. We were just sending messages and pictures to each other.” She started looking at her polished nails.

“First off you are too young to be talking and taking sexy photos. Second, you could get into a lot of trouble. We don’t want that to happen to you.” AJ explained. She ignored him.

“You know you’re not allowed to date. You are fourteen years old. You were texting things you should know nothing about.” I was starting to get frustrated with my daughter. It seemed to me that she didn’t want to listen or thought her behavior was perfectly okay. I was starting to get pissed off.

“So, what. You got pregnant with me when you were fifteen. I’m not that stupid. It was okay for you and dad to do whatever the hell you wanted as teenagers, but I’m not allowed to do anything.” She yelled.

Within minutes Nick was in the living room watching what was going on. I was embarrassed for myself, AJ and Eden. I’m sure he could everything from his room anyways. I was too concerned with my daughter to even acknowledge him.

“Maybe you should learn from our mistakes.”

“Thanks, dad. I knew you didn’t care about me, but now I know I was a mistake in your eyes.” Tears started flowing from Eden’s eyes.

“You’re twisting my words. I never said you were a mistake. I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“Whatever. I’m done with this stupid talk.” She started to walk away and bumped right into Nick. He took her hands.

“I think you need to hear your parents out. They both love and care about you. Stop the attitude. It’s not you.” Nick whispered in Eden’s ear. He let her hands go and she came back over to us. He quickly went back into his room.

“Fine. I guess I can talk.” she pouted.

“I just want to know why.” AJ was curious.

“I always had a crush on Xavier. A few months ago he started paying attention to me. I was more than just his little sister’s friend.” She paused to compose herself. “It started out as flirting, but it grew into more after he kissed me.”

“Is that all you’ve done with him?” I asked praying that my daughter was still as pure as the driven snow.

“Well…” The guilty look on her face said it all.

“Baby just tell us. You aren’t going to be punished as harshly if you’re honest with us.” AJ responded quickly. His face was pale from her response. I’m glad he was with me during this talk because I don’t think I would have remained as calm as he was.

“Umm…we…kinda made out in our underclothes once.” She started bawling to the point she couldn’t breathe normally.

“When did this happen?” I wanted to know, but at the same time I didn’t. Eden was giving a head full of gray hairs at this point.

“It was the night that you and Brian went on the dinner cruise. Xavier came over.” She continued to cry. AJ walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms.

“It’s okay. We’re going to work this out. We all make mistakes. I love you no matter what. You’re mom loves you no matter what.” He comforted his daughter. AJ really did love her. At times I wondered, but today he showed me a different side of him.

“I’m sorry I let you down.” She bawled. “What’s my punishment?”

“Well first I’m going to talk to Xavier’s parents. I think they need to know what’s going on.” I explained. My heart was breaking for my little girl, but she still needed to realize that her actions had consequences.

“You’ve lost your phone and computer privileges for the rest of the summer. You’re also going to have to do some odd jobs on tour.” AJ said firmly.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, as long as you don’t hate me.” She sniffled.

“We could never hate you.” AJ rubbed her back.

At that point I think we were done talking. I knew I wanted to have a woman to woman chat with my daughter. It was time to share my journal with her. She didn’t need to make the same careless mistakes I did as a teenager.

AJ’s Point Of View

“Brian, he handled himself really well with Eden today.” Leah whispered. “He has the potential of being a great father.”

“Handling things one time doesn’t make him father of the year.” Brian commented bitterly.

“Geesh, Brian what’s got you?” Leah didn’t get why Brian was getting such an attitude about AJ.

“It’s just like ever since you got here it’s been all about him.”

“I’m here for my daughter. I’m sorry if that includes AJ. I can’t believe you’re jealous.” She raised her voice.

“I’m not jealous.” He defended himself. Leah had enough; she got up and went out on the balcony.

I was sitting on the balcony trying to relax and smoke a cigarette, when Leah came out in a huff. She looked pissed, but that was nothing new. I hoped she wasn’t coming to rip me a new asshole. We are almost getting along. She sat down next to me.

“Is everything okay?” I asked peering over my sunglasses.

“Everything is just peachy keen.”

“It sounds like it by the tone of your voice. Why aren’t you with Brian? Don’t you have to finish planning the wedding?”

“He’s the reason I’m out here. Brian’s being a jealous prick at the moment.” She took my cigarette and took a few puffs. Then she handed it back.

“What does he have to be jealous about?” I couldn’t figure that man out. He had everything he could possibly want in his life. Brian had the perfect woman, a great step-daughter, nice house, and great career. I should be the jealous one. He had everything I wanted. Hello, I was jealous of the bastard.

Brian and I used to be really close, until he started dating Leah. Then our friendship stopped existing.

 New Year’s Eve 2007

“Edy is growing up so fast. I can’t believe she’s ten.” Nick made small talk with me.

“Yeah, but she acts like she’s sixteen.” I smiled. My daughter was the sweetest girl in the world.

“Wait until she starts liking boys.”

“I’m sending her to a convent.” I joked. I looked away from Nick for a moment. I spotted Brian coming in with Leah. What the fuck? What was she doing here? Why was she walking in on Brian’s arm? I was pissed.

Leah looked absolutely fuckable. She was wearing a red strapless sequined knee length dress with sexy red stilettos. Her dark hair was done in soft curls. She had the biggest smile on her face. Leah looked really happy.

I attempted to avoid her and Brian almost the entire night. It was easy to do since they were so wrapped up in each other. I, on the other hand sat at the bar drinking way to much Jack Daniels. Not the smartest thing for an alcoholic to do. At least it made me numb from what I was feeling. I wanted to ram my fist down Brian’s throat. I was insanely jealous and confused.

Leah walked up to the bar. She smelled heavenly. I would have had sex with her right there if she let me.

“Hey Age! I didn’t know you were attending the party. I haven’t seen you all evening.”

“That’s cause you are to busy with Brian.”

“Yeah about that.” She rested against the bar.

“God Leah, I don’t even know what to say. I mean how, when.”I was honestly still in shock.

“We’ve been dating for about six months.”

“Six fucking months and you couldn’t find time to tell me.” I snarled. My heart was breaking again because of her.

“I didn’t know I had to tell you.”

“When it affects our daughter I have a right to know.”

“So you mean you need to tell me every time you fuck a groupie I need to know.” She countered.

“I don’t fuck around with groupies anymore. I’ve changed.” I defended myself. Hell, it had been almost a year since I had sex.

“Clearly you haven’t.” Leah looked at my drink with disgust.

“You’re the reason I need my friend Jack.” I picked up my glass and took a swig. “You make me feel things I haven’t in a long time.” I place my hand on my erection. Quickly she moves her hand away.

“How dare you? I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life. Please don’t ruin this for me. Brian is good for me.” She pleaded.

“Is it serious?”

“Yes. He’s moving in with us when we get back to Atlanta.”

“And you act like this doesn’t concern me. How does Eden feel about this?” Damn Leah, she always did what she wanted. I was feeling like I was being replaced at Eden’s father.

“She gets along great with Brian. They’re very close.” Leah smiled.

“Great fuckballs. You’re not only trying to replace me in your heart. You are trying to make Eden forget about me. Go to hell, Leah!” I was out of this lame ass party.

“He’s jealous because I complimented you on how well you handled things with Eden.”

“I can’t believe he would be jealous of that. I was just trying to be a good dad. Hell, he knows he’s better at things with Eden then I am.”

“It’s not like that, Age.” She touched my hand. “Eden loves you. You’re always going to be her dad.”

“She tolerates me. Eden is so much closer to Brian. Hell she spends more time with him on tour.” I commented wistfully.

“But whose fault is that?” Leah gave me a pointed look.

“I fucking know it’s my fault. I’ve screwed up when it comes to Eden. I want to change it, but I’m afraid it’s to effin’ late.”

“Give her time. She’ll come around.” Leah gave me a sad look. I was starting to realize that it was my own fault my daughter wanted nothing to do with me. I was afraid that I had nothing to offer her. Now I was regretting my choices. I knew I could change, but would Eden be willing to accept me in her life.

“I hope so. I’ve made a lot of bad choices in my life. Things I wish I could change.” I shifted in my seat so I was facing Leah.

“I’ve been there myself.” She started rubbing my arm. Leah loved to touch people when she was talking.

“Do you regret us?” I asked. I wanted to know that truth.

“No, I don’t regret our relationship. You gave me Eden.” She gave me the answer I knew she would give. Her safety was always Eden when it came to me.

“Besides Eden, do you regret being with me?”  Leah sat there with her eyes closed. I knew she was figuring out how she wanted to answer the question.

“Age, there are things about us that I regret and things  I don’t, but overall our relationship made me who I am today. I like who I am today, so I guess I don’t regret it.” She traced my tattoos with her index finger. It gave me chills.

“I get what you’re saying. What do you regret about….”

“Leah, I need you. Can you come here?” Brian called out.

“I need to go, Age.” She placed a kiss on my cheek. “I enjoyed chatting with you.” She got up and left.

Damn Brian. It was the first time I got Leah to talk about our relationship since it ended ten years ago. So many things were left unsaid. Leah didn’t like to talk about our past for some reason. I needed the closure because I needed to move on.

Leah’s Point Of View

Everyone was hyped up after the concert. Howie and his wife decided to go out, so the rest of us tagged along with the exception of Nick. He wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep. I quickly changed out of my jeans and t-shirt into a short black leather skirt and silver sequined tank top.

The club was fairly low key which was nice. I just wanted to enjoy some time with my man. Howie was on the dance floor with his wife. AJ was talking to the DJ. Brian and I sat at the table enjoying each other’s company.

“So where do you want to go for our honeymoon?” His hand rubbed my thigh.

“I don’t care. I’ll be happy as long as I’m with you.” I smiled at him as a twirled the straw in my drink. “Have you decided on the best man and groomsmen?”

“I’d love for AJ to be the best man.” Brian chuckled and then took a swig of his beer.

“Umm…why would you do that?” I didn’t understand what was so funny about his comment.

“To thank him for breaking your heart.” Brian kissed my cheek. I scooted away from him.  He looked at me I could not believe he would say something like that. He was usually the sweetest guy. I didn’t know what he problem was tonight.

“That was low. What is your problem?” I hissed.

“It was just a joke, darling.” He reached for me. I scooted further away from him.

“I don’t find it funny. I wish you would lose the attitude.” I grabbed my purse and slid off my chair. I was out of here.

“W…w...where are you going?” He looked surprised.

“I can’t be with you at the moment. When you get your head out of your ass come find me.” I turned and walked away.

I didn’t know where I was going, but as long as it was far away from Brian I would be happy. I walked around the club for a few minutes; then decided to go outside for some fresh air. I stood against the wall wishing I had a cigarette. Sure, I quit smoking about five years ago, but when I was pissed or stressed the craving for one came back.

Brian made me so mad with his comment. AJ and I had a toxic relationship from the beginning. It still was poisonous at times. We tried to get along but sometimes we couldn’t. I didn’t like Brian throwing it in my face. He acted like the only reason we even got together was because AJ broke my heart. The worst part was I didn’t even want to date Brian.

2007

“It’s funny how we keep meeting.” Brian smiled at me.

“It certainly is. If I didn’t already know you, I would think you were stalking me.” I teased. It was hard to believe I was flirting with Brian Littrell. I had known him for a long time. We were never the best of friends. Half the time I thought he disliked me.

“Maybe I am.” His blue eyes twinkled. “Or maybe it’s fate.”

“What does fate have to do with it?” I questioned. He was certainly full of charm.

“Not really sure, but it sounded good. Would you like to join me for lunch?”

“I would love, too.” I have no idea why I said yes. Maybe it was because I haven’t had a male pay attention me in a long time. Or maybe it was because Brian was being so charming.  I really wasn’t sure.

We sat down at a small table. The waiter came and we placed our orders. I felt a little awkward sitting there with Brian. Why? I’m not really sure. AJ was nagging me in the back of my head. I decided to tune him out because it wasn’t his choice anymore what I did in my life. It hadn’t been for years.

“How’s Eden doing?”

“She’s great. She left yesterday for LA. I miss her already.”

“I bet. She’s always been a great girl.”

“Thanks Bri. So, why aren’t you married with a bunch of children?” I was curious. He certainly was a catch. Any woman would be lucky to have a man like Brian.

“It’s hard finding the right woman. I’ve dated, but nothing serious.”

“You’ll find her when you least except it.” I touched his hand.

“Maybe I’m looking at her.” Brian’s hand caressed mine. Shivers went down my spine. His statement threw me for a loop. I didn’t know what to say. “Does that surprise you?”

“To be honest yes it does. We’ve never been the best of friends. I think we’ve tolerated each other because of AJ.”

“To be honest, you intimidated me. I never knew how to approach you.”

“Really?”

“Sure, you were beautiful, confident, and overtly sexual. What guy wouldn’t want you?” His index finger trailed up my arm.

“I was a train wreck back then. I’ve grown up and changed a lot Brian. I’m not the same woman I was when I was with AJ.” I paused watching Brian looking at me intently. “I’ve been in therapy since two thousand five.”

“I can see that you’ve mature since the last time I saw you. It’s been so long. I’m glad you were able to get help. It shows maturity.” He said sincerely.

“Thanks Brian.”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” I was torn about what I should do. On one hand, it was awkward dating your ex’s friend. AJ would be pissed about it. My other hand was saying take a chance. This might be the best thing to happen to you.

“I don’t know.” I replied honestly.

“Just one date. If I’m horrible then we go our separate ways. No harm done.” He smiled at me. My heart was melting. I need to stop. I was a strong independent woman. I didn’t need a man.

“What happens if I enjoy it?” I questioned.

“Then it might just change your life.”

“What are you doing out here?” AJ asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

“I needed some fresh air. Do you have a cigarette?”

“Does this have anything to do with the pissy look on Rok’s face?” He handed me a cigarette. “I thought you quit.”

“Maybe.” I took a drag and started to relax. “I smoke when I pissed.”

“What’s wrong?” AJ asked me seriously. He leaned against the wall beside me.

“Nothing.”

“You can’t tell me you’re pissed and then not tell me.” He smiled. Damn I hated when he smiled. It was so sexy.

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes at him. He was so annoying. “Brian’s being a jackass.”

“I thought you two were so happy together.”

“We are, but sometimes he says stupid stuff. Give him some beer and he turns into an ass.”

“Was it about me?” Why was it that AJ could read between the lines? I didn’t want to tell him what pissed me off.

“Maybe.” I took one last puff of my cigarette, threw it on the ground, and stamped on it.

“That’s a definite yes.” His fingers grazed my arm. My body reacted with heat in my core. Damn him. “I’m used to Brian’s shit. Just tell me.”

“Fine.” I looked him in the eye. “He was joking about you being his best man because you broke my heart and now he has me. It was an asshole comment. I got pissed and came out here.”

“He’s right. If I didn’t break your heart, he would never have you.” AJ moved in front of me with his arms on both sides of me. I could hardly breathe. “I was a fool for how I treated you. I’ve never forgiven myself. I still love you.” AJ’s face moved to mine. His lips were a fraction of an inch away from mine. Heat was radiating from both our bodies. I started to lick my lips when AJ placed his mouth on mine. Without thinking my tongue was in his mouth.

I forgot where I was. Time stood still. The only thing I could think about was how great it felt to have AJ McLean’s tongue in my mouth. My hands moved to his ass. We were so wrapped up in each other, that my cell phone ringing was the only thing to make us stop. I pulled away and grabbed my cell phone out of my purse. Fuck, it was Brian.

“Hello.” I tried to remain calm. “I’m fine. Okay. Yes, I’m ready to go back. I’m outside. I’ll see you in a few.” I closed my phone and placed it in my purse. When I looked up AJ was no where to be found. Did I imagine him? I was more confused than ever.

Eden’s Point of View

While all the adults went out for the evening, I was stuck babysitting Amelia and Conner Dorough. Amelia was three and as sweet as her dad. Conner was a year old and a little terror. Nick decided to stay and hang out at the hotel. I think it was his turn to watch over me. Usually someone stayed at the hotel to keep an eye on the kids. Even though I was fourteen, they didn’t trust me.

Amelia and Conner were tucked in their beds. Nick was in his room probably having phone sex with one of his many girlfriends. That is why I liked having Nick stay at the hotel; he basically ignored me and did his own thing. I settled down on the couch with my mom’s journal.

I always knew she was wild, but now I got to read all the juicy details. I mean come on; she got pregnant with me when she was fifteen. I couldn’t even imagine having a baby at that age. Sure, I liked boys but I was not ready to have sex.

“What are you reading?” Nick walked into the living room. He was looking fine with his wet hair. He must have just stepped out of the shower. Even though I was a teenager I had to admit Nick was hot.

“My mom’s journal from when she was a teenager.”

“Does she know you’re reading it?” He asked as he sat down on the couch next to me. Mmm, he smelled heavenly.

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes at him. He may be cute, but sometimes he was an idiot. “I wouldn’t just read someone’s personal thoughts without permission.”

“No need to get snippy, Edy. I was just curious.”

“I wasn’t get snippy, Nickolas. Please don’t call me Edy. I’m not a little girl anymore.” I set the journal on the table. With Nick hovering I knew I wouldn’t get any reading done.

“You’ll always be a little girl in everyone’s eyes. I can’t believe you’re growing up.” He sounded sad at the fact I wasn’t a baby anymore. It made me want to laugh. Nick Carter sad because AJ McLean’s love child was a teenager, gave me the giggles. “What is so funny?”

“You.” I giggled.

“Me?” He pointed to himself while making a funny face.

“Yes, you.”

“Oh, Edy Beady. You used to love spending time with Uncle Nicky. Don’t you love me anymore?” He sulked. Damn, Nick Carter was such a drama king. Why my parents trusted him to keep an eye on me I’ll never know.

“Not really. You’re not as cool as you used to be.” I joked. Really he was the coolest guy I knew, but I would never admit it.

“You hurt my feelings.” He faked crying. I rolled my eyes and pretend to ignore him. A few minutes later he stopped and looked at me. “So talk to me about the fight with your parents.”

“Why do you care? I really don’t feel like talking about it. I’m mad at them both.”

“I gathered that since you’ve ignored them all day. What happened?” He stretched out on the couch, placing his feet in my lap. He had really big feet.

“You’re feet smell.” I tried to push his feet off of me. “I started liking this boy.”

“Oohhh…a boy. Boys will get you in trouble. Stay away from them until your forty.” He laughed. I didn’t find him one bit amusing.

“That’s funny coming from you. I’m sure you’ve caused enough trouble yourself.”

“I know from experience. Guys are dogs. So who is this boy?”

“His name is Xavier. He’s one of my best friend’s older brothers.” I smiled. I thought X was one of the coolest guys I knew.

“And your parents didn’t know about him, I’m guessing.” Nick was smarter than I gave him credit for. It was like he knew everything that happened.

“I didn’t tell my mom. My dad he knows nothing about me, but that’s a different story. Anyways, we started hanging out a lot. Then he kissed me and it was full time crushing.” I couldn’t believe I was telling Nick everything. I just found him easy to talk to.

“Go one.” He encouraged.

“Well, then we started making out. I never went further than that because I don’t want to be knocked up like my mother was with me. I’m not ready to take care of a kid full time.”

“That’s mature of you, learning from other people’s mishaps. Though I think both of your parents are glad you were born. It was hard on them, but they’ve raised a beautiful, intelligent young woman.” I blushed.

“Thanks, Nick. That means a lot. I know my parents have a lot of issues. Hell, they still have issues with each other. Sometimes I wish they would get along and be happy.” I confessed.

“Just remember that at one time, they did love each other.”

“I know. Mom is happy now. She has Brian. They are perfect for each other. I just wish dad could find someone. He never seems happy.” I sighed. I always felt sorry for my dad. My mom was head over heels in love with Brian. My dad was lonely. I just wanted him to be happy.

“It’s complicated Edy. Just know that your dad loves you a lot, even though he doesn’t show it a lot.”

“I guess. I don’t want to talk about it.” Talking about my dad was never easy for me. Most of the time I feel like I didn’t know him very well. It made me feel uncomfortable when I was around him. I was afraid that if I got to know him my mom would somehow be upset with me. This is why I held back when I was with my dad. I know it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what else to do. “I’m going to bed. Night, Nick.”

I grabbed the journal and left the room. Tears fell from my eyes as I buried my head in my pillow. I didn’t want Nick to hear me cry. I was embarrassed with my actions. I didn’t know how to make things better. I really wanted to love my dad with all my heart.

Leah’s Point of View

Brian met me outside the club; he had a sheepish look on his face. He walked over to me. I was feeling guilty about kissing AJ. I prayed that it didn’t show on my face. I wasn’t ready to confess about my indiscretion. I wasn’t exactly sure what to think of the situation with AJ.

“Leah, I’m sorry. I acted stupidly and I shouldn’t have said that.”  Brian looked me in the eye and smiled at me. He was being sincere, which made me feel even worse.

“I accept your apology. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, but without AJ, I wouldn’t have Eden. So, I’m thankful for that time in my life.” I told him the truth. AJ might have been a pain in my side, but he gave me the most important thing in my life.

Brian pulled me into his arms. He held me close against him. He treated me so good. Anytime we fought, he made sure we made up before bedtime. When I was sick, he was there taking care of me. Brian had a heart of gold. I was blessed to have him in my life. He placed a soft kiss on my mouth. I leaned against him and deepened the kiss.

“Were you smoking?” He asked as he broke away from me.

“Yes. I was pissed and needed a smoke.” I said irritably. I knew he was disgusted that I tasted like smoke.

“Babe, I really didn’t think that comment would cause you to smoke. It wasn’t that big of a deal.” He held out his hand. “Give me the cigarettes.” I hated when he treated me like a child.

“I don’t have any. I smoked one cigarette Brian. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal. That’s not the way to deal with a misunderstanding.” He moved away from me. “Who gave you the cigarette?”

“Brian, I’m an adult. I don’t need to tell you, you’re not my father.” I couldn’t believe he was starting a fight over a damn cigarette.

“Was it Alex?” Brian questioned me. I started to walk away. “Don’t walk away. I wasn’t finished talking to you.”

“This conversation is over. I’m not a little girl, don’t treat me like one.” I got into the car. Brian followed me inside.

“You’re acting like a twelve year old. You’ve been a bitch since you got here.” He raised his voice.

“I’m sorry I’m not Miss Perfect right now. I have a lot of shit going on and you could give two fucks about it. I’m sorry I’m here for my daughter and not to kiss the ground you walk on.” I screeched. Every time he spoke he pissed me off even more.

“That’s because you won’t let me get involved. Suddenly AJ’s involved in his daughter’s life and I’m chopped liver when it comes to Eden. I’ve been there every damn time he’s screwed her over.” Fuck, I didn’t realize that I was putting Brian on the back burner in Eden’s life because AJ finally stepped up. I was a bitch to the man I loved. No wonder he was pissed at me and AJ.

“Bri, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you out of Eden’s life. She looks at you like a dad. I was so pissed because AJ was able to figure out what was wrong, and I couldn’t. I thought I knew my daughter but apparently not well enough.”

“Whatever.” He looked out the window.

“Are you going to pout the rest of the night?” I questioned. It was late and I didn’t feel like playing games.

“Maybe I am.” He replied sarcastically. Brian was acting childish. The car stopped in front of the hotel. We quickly got out.

“Grow up Brian.” I said as I followed him inside. “You’re the one that has the rule of not going to bed angry. You can’t even follow your own damn rules.”

“I really don’t feel like discussing this in the middle of the lobby with the fans watching.” He hissed at me.

“Yeah, you care more about how you look in front of your precious fans. I don’t give two fucks about them and what they think.” I turned around and took the stairwell up to our room on the eighth floor. I needed to get away from Brian.

I didn’t feel any better when I got to my room. In fact, I was so upset I didn’t want to see Brian for at least forever. We never went to bed mad. This would be the first time Brian and I didn’t work out a problem. We didn’t always agree, but would agree to disagree to show that our love was the most important thing.

“Is everything okay, Leah?” Nick asked from the couch.

“Oh fuck! You scared me.” I sat down in a chair. “I thought you would be tucked in your bed fast asleep.”

“Nah, I took a shower and was wide awake. I spent time talking with Eden. How was your night?”

“Horrible.”

“Why is that? I saw Brian come in looking agitated.”

“He’s mad at me.”

“You want to talk about it?” Nick sat up.

“Not really. He’ll be pissed if I discuss his faults with anyone. He thinks he’s so perfect and does nothing wrong.”

“You sure are feisty tonight.” Nick smiled at me. I started to laugh.

“God, Carter any time I’m pissed you call me feisty. It’s like a turn on for you.” I teased him.

“Actually it is. There’s something sexy about your cussing someone out because they pissed you off.” He smirked at me. “It’s always turned me on.”

The slamming of the door caused me to jump. AJ quickly went to his room and slammed that door, too. Apparently something angered him, but there was no need for him to take it out on the door.

“What’s his problem?” Nick asked me.

“Knowing him, he’s ticked at me. He’s jealous because I was talking to you.” I commented dryly. I was so sick of the men in the Backstreet Boys. Howie was starting to become my favorite. He was quiet and nice all the time. AJ and Brian were suffering from PMS, and Nick was the world biggest horn dog when it came to me.

“That’s because he still loves you.”

“He needs to get over me. I’m getting married to one of his friends.”

“Him and Brian haven’t been friends since he found out you two were dating. Wonder what he would say knowing we hooked up?” Nick spoke softly, so AJ wouldn’t hear.

“He would kick your ass. What ever possessed me to hook up with you all of those times? No wonder I am still in therapy.” I made plenty of mistakes when it came to guys and sex. After years of therapy I was learning not to fuck up and have a real relationship. “I think J knows about us. He mentioned something a few days ago, but I pretended to ignore it.”

“You didn’t write about it in your journal, did you? I don’t think I want Eden reading about that.”

“Gosh, I would never let her read about that time in my life. She would end up hating me.” I stood up. “The journal I gave her was when I met AJ until I gave birth to her. Things fell apart for me after that. I was a mess back in the day. Good night Nicky.” I quietly walked to my room. Hopefully Brian was asleep. I didn’t want to deal with his shit.

Leah’s Point Of View

I walked into our room; Brian was sitting in bed reading. I chose to ignore him because I didn’t want to start another argument. I quickly brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas. I slid into bed next to Brian.

“Didn’t think you were coming to bed.” He commented as he placed his book on the nightstand.

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me here.” I said quietly. At this point I did not know how Brian was feeling about me. I was feeling vulnerable, which is something I never liked feeling. It hurt me that Brian was upset with me.

“Lee, you know I love you no matter what. I’ve just been feeling left out since you got here.” He said in a low voice. “I was jealous of AJ. He knew what was going on with Eden and we didn’t. It made me feel like I wasn’t being a good parent. I love Eden like she’s my own. How could I be so blind?”

“B, I was feeling exactly the same way. At first I was mad because AJ made me feel like I was a bad parent. I mean Eden was doing this right under our noses. Then I realized that AJ cares more about Eden then I thought. Maybe I judged him too harshly over the years.” I shared my feelings with him.

“But he’s had all these years to spend time with Eden and he chose not to. It’s hard for her to have a relationship with him. I think she’s given up on him.” He turned off the light. I quickly turned it back on.

“Brian Thomas Littrell, you can’t just end a conversation with a comment like that.” I raised my voice.”Would you care to explain to me what the hell that remark was about?” He was starting to piss me off again. I couldn’t take all this drama.

“Just from what Eden’s told me, Leah. It’s her words not mine.” He defended himself.

“What were her exact words?” I was ready to pack up my daughter and get the hell out of dodge. The Backstreet Boys were nothing but trouble in my book. I should have known better than to let her come on this tour.

“Eden told me that she doesn’t feel like she even knows her dad. She is over the fact that he doesn’t want to spend time with her. Hell she said Nick knows her better than her own dad.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I understood why she had negative feelings toward her father. Maybe it was my fault for moving to the other side of the United States. He didn’t always have the time to be in Georgia. I wonder if my pessimistic attitude towards AJ contributed to situation. I was not always pleasant when it came to him. Here I was feeling sorry for AJ. Why kind of cigarette did he give me? It must have been full of something more than nicotine. I never felt sorry for him.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Brian wrapped his arms around me.

“What’s there to say? I can’t change how she feels. I don’t want her to realize that he cares about her when it’s too late. I haven’t seen my parents for fifteen years. It hurts.”

“Leah, I think Eden has every right to feel that way. AJ hasn’t shown himself to be a good father since you got your act together.”

“Really? You would go there? I know I wasn’t the best mother in the beginning. It took a lot of soul searching for me to realize that it wasn’t about me. AJ was and is nothing like that. I regret that part of my past more than any other. Don’t you dare throw it in my face.” I yelled.

“There you go again defending him. I got get it. Usually you are moaning and groaning about what an ass he is. Why the sudden change in teams?” Brian said bitterly.

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I can’t believe you think I’m choosing. Who am I choosing between?” I got out of bed. I was upset with Brian accusing me of siding with AJ.

“Me and AJ. Currently I’m not winning.” Brian looked away.

“There’s no competition between the two of you. You’re my fiancé. I love you more than life itself.” I groaned. I never saw him jealous before. “AJ is the father of my child.”

“But your relationship with him has been…hell I can’t even describe it. I’ve just noticed things are different between us since you came on tour.”

“I’m not following.” Brian had me perplexed. I thought our relationship was strong, but maybe I was wrong. All I know is I had a headache.

“I can’t believe you don’t see it.” He was frustrated with the conversation. He stood up and grabbed his pillow.

“Maybe I’m blind. Maybe I’m tired. I’m sorry I don’t see it. All I know is your annoying me.”

“This is exactly what I mean. All you want to do is fight with me. Instead of working things out, you would rather go on and on. This isn’t the Leah I know and love.” He commented sadly.

“I’m sorry I’m not acting the way you want me to. I’m dealing with a lot of shit. I have to deal with Eden and AJ. I have the charity ball coming up and planning the damn wedding. I’m sorry that I’m not all roses and sunshine.” I screamed. I didn’t care if I woke up the whole suite. I had enough of Brian’s attitude.

“That is exactly what I’m talking about. I’m tired and want to get some sleep. I’ll be in the living room. Have a good night.” He huffed out of the room.

“Have A Good Fucking Night.” I yelled and threw a pillow at the door. No matter what I did it was wrong in someone’s eyes. I couldn’t please anyone, so why even try. The tension was coursing through my body. Was I sinking back into my old ways? Was AJ really affecting me? Was my relationship with Brian changing? I didn’t know and I didn’t want to think about it.

Eden’s Point of View

Today was a day off for the Backstreet Boys. This meant that everyone was going to spend the day doing whatever the hell they wanted. I was grounded, so I was going to sit in the hotel bored to tears. Maybe my parents would let me hang at the pool. I doubt they would, but I could dream. My mom was serious when it came to punishment. She never let me get away with anything.

I was sitting in the hotel restaurant eating breakfast with my mom and Brian. Something was up; they were barely talking to one another. I found this odd because they were always smiling and chatting about something. I continued to watch with interest. I loved drama, what can I say.

“Sooo mom, what are your plans for the day.” I asked while munching on a slice of bacon.

“I’m not sure. I might do some shopping or walk around the city.”

“What about you Brian?”

“Not sure, Eden. I might play some basketball or something.” He replied not even paying attention.

I would have thought that mom and Brian would spend the day together. I mean she would be leaving in a week, you would think they would want to spend time together.

“Why don’t you two do something romantic?” I suggested. Brian looked at his eggs. My mom continued to play with her Blackberry. For sure something wasn’t right. They were usually all huggy kissy with each other. I thought it was romantic. “Is there something wrong?”

“Eden, no. Why would you think that? Sometimes Brian and I like to do different things.” Mom answered quickly.

“We’ll probably meet up for lunch. Nick’s been asking to play basketball for the last week.” Brian replied.

“What ever you say. I guess I’ll be stuck with dad in the hotel.”  I replied earnestly. I didn’t want to spend the day with my dad. I’m sure he didn’t want to spend his free time with me.

“I’m sure you will find something to occupy you time.” Leah said absentmindedly.

“Gee mom, I can tell you care so much.” I stood up. “I’ll see you later.” Neither one said anything. I headed back to the suite.

----------------------

Could this day get any worse? My dad didn’t even let me relax. He gave me a list of chores to do as part of my punishment.

“Eden did you get everything you need to do the laundry.” AJ asked his daughter.

“Yes, dad. I’m so enjoying being your slave for the day.” I replied sarcastically. I threw my last pair of jeans in the laundry basket.

“It sucks being grounded, doesn’t it?”

“Shut up dad.” I rolled my eyes at him. He was so annoying. “I bet Grandma Denise didn’t make you work like a horse when you got in trouble.”

“I was an angel.” He smiled at me. “My mom never had to ground me.”

“You’re such a liar. I’m off to the laundry room to play Cinderella.” I grabbed the basket of laundry and went to the laundry room.

As soon as I got to the laundry room, I placed the laundry in the washer, poured the detergent in, and started up the machine. I sat on the washer and opened my mom’s journal.

I loved my mom, but if I knew her back then, I would seriously hate her. She was what everyone would call a slut in my school. I can’t believe my mom had sex at my age. No wonder she didn’t want me to have a boyfriend and was pissed off about the whole Xavier thing. I could almost hate her. I knew she was wild, but really she was even wilder than I imagined. I was so vanilla compared to her.

The opening of the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I quickly closed the journal and placed it behind me. Nick walked in wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt that read Captain Awesome. He looked cute. I think I was getting a little crush on him. I mean what girl wouldn’t.

“Hey Nicky.”

“You enjoying your day off?”

“Oh yeah, cleaning the suite, packing, and doing laundry. It’s been the best day of my life. I wish every day off was like this.” I sighed dramatically. He ruffled my hair.

“No reason to be so sarcastic.” He laughed.

“No reason to mess up my hair. I spent hours pulling into a ponytail.” I jumped off the washer. I opened the lid and started to place clothes in the dryer. “So did you and Brian play some basketball today?”

“No, I just got back from the gym. Brian’s been gone all day.”

“Oh. He mentioned that you wanted to play some b-ball today.” I closed the dryer and turned it on.

“He told me he had plans for the day.” Nick leaned against the wall.

“Hmm…I wonder why he lied to me.” I thought for a moment. I knew something was up between Brian and my mom. I was curious to know. “My mom and Brian were acting strange at breakfast today. Do you know anything?”

“Nope, but you shouldn’t be butting into their relationship.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. I just was curious because they were hardly talking this morning.”

“Brian leave me alone. I’m tired of this jealousy.” Leah yelled loudly from the hall. I quickly went to the door to listen. Nick just stared at me.

“I’m not jealous. I wish you would stop saying that.” Brian raised his voice.

“Your actions show that you are jealous. Get over it or leave me alone.” I watched my mom walk to the suite. Brian looked sad. I felt bad for him.

I walked over to Nick. “See I told you something was wrong. Just cause I’m fourteen doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“I never said you were Edy. I think you should let them deal with whatever is bothering them. You don’t need to interfere.” Nick stated carefully.

“Why would I interfere? “ I questioned. Nobody gave me credit. I didn’t have a temper like my mom. I wasn’t moody like my dad. I knew when to keep things to myself. Hell, I did that most of the time. I wish they wouldn’t treat me like a child.

“Edy, I know you love Brian like a dad. I don’t think you need to worry. They probably just got into a little fight. Let them solve their problems.”

“Would you stop calling me Edy and treating me like I’m five years old? I’m sick and tired of being treated like a baby.” I was so mad, I left the laundry room

When I got to the suite, I slammed the door shut. My dad was sitting on the couch and looked at me.  I’m sure I had a pissed off look on my face. “What’s wrong Eden?”

“Nothing.” I plopped down on the couch.

“You seem upset.”

“I’m fine. Just tired of being everyone’s slave and being treated like I’m a baby.”

“No one is treating you like a slave. Sweetheart, you’re still a child, but no one treats you like a baby.”

“Whatever.” I replied under my breath. “Do you know what’s wrong with mom and Brian?”

“No. It’s their personal business. I’m not getting involved and neither should you.”

“Uggghhh. Why does everyone say that? It is my business. I live with them. Brian is the best thing that ever happened to mom. I don’t want to see anything happen to their relationship. I love Brian like a father.” I yelled at my dad. He looked at me like I had three heads. Crap, I realized what I said. AJ looked like he was ready to cry. I knew what I said hurt his feelings. Why did I open my mouth and say the wrong things. I took one more look at my dad and ran into my room. I fell on my bed and burst into tears.

Why was I such a screw up? Ever since this tour started I was always doing and saying the wrong things. Would I ever get it right? It was like everything was falling apart and I couldn’t do anything to make it better.

AJ’s Point of View

I stared at the wall paralyzed. I wasn’t able to move from the pressure in my chest. Eden’s comment cut me like a knife. I knew she was close to Brian, but I never realized he took my place. She wanted nothing to do with me. I understood why. I wasn’t a father; I was just the donor that created her. It wasn’t like that in the beginning; I took care of her because Leah wouldn’t. Sure Eden doesn’t remember those early years. Then Leah got her fucking act together and my bond with my daughter disappeared. It was my own fault I stepped back from her life. Maybe I should remove myself completely from her life. Eden was better off with Brian as her father.

“Age are you okay?” Leah asked in concern. I tuned her out because I wanted nothing to do with her at the moment. I was heartbroken. “Why are you crying?”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” I growled. I hadn’t realized that I was crying. I started to wipe my face with my t-shirt.

“I’m not in the best of moods right now. I’m trying to show some concern, but I see you would rather be an ass.”

“Isn’t that what I’ve always been to you an ass? I am a royal fuckup, always have and always will be. Why aren’t you with your perfect man?” I said bitterly. My jealously had increased since Eden’s comment.

“Brian is far from perfect. If you’re a royal fuckup, then what am I? Oh, yeah that’s right I’m the bitch slut.” She sat down next to me.

“What is wrong with us?”

“I don’t know. I thought after all these years I would get it right, but I haven’t. A week ago, I would have said everything in my life was under control and pretty much perfect. Can’t say the same thing now. “Leah commented ruefully.

“Life sucks.”

“Let’s get out of here for a while. These walls are closing in on me.” She stood up, took my hand and pulled me up.

“Where are we going?” I asked. I didn’t want to go anywhere.

“Who knows? Who cares? Let’s just be spontaneous.” She smiled at me. God, she could make me feel like nothing was wrong in the world.

“Fine. Shouldn’t we tell someone we’re leaving?” I questioned. When did I become so responsible?

“That’s part of being spontaneous. We don’t tell anyone. Everyone is off doing something. Let’s go have some fun.”

-------------------

After an hour of walking around, we found a bench in the park. The evening was beautiful with a cool breeze and the sun setting. I would say it was romantic, but I would be the only one participating.

“So now will you tell me what’s wrong?” Leah asked softly. It was like her inner bitch had evaporated. She was actually showing empathy.

“Only if you tell me what’s up between you and Brian.”

“You’ve got a deal, but you go first.”

I started playing with the hem of my t-shirt. It was a bad habit I never got rid of. “Eden told me that she thinks of Brian as her father.”

“Age, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Brian treats her like a princess. I knew they were close, but to hear her say it to me just hurt a lot.”  Eden took my hand so I would stop playing with my shirt.

“I’m sorry that Eden said that to you. What brought that comment on?”

“She came in all upset because she thinks there is something going on between you and Brian.”

“Damn that girl picks up on everything.”

“She’s bright and has a lot of common sense. Probably more than the both of us combined.” I smiled knowing how aware my daughter was about people. “I can’t blame her for feeling that way towards Brian. He cares about her and has been around more than I have these past few years. I can only hold myself responsible for her hating me.”

“She doesn’t hate you. Eden just has a hard time dealing with you not being around. Hell, sometimes I think she likes Brian more than me.” She sighed when mentioning Brian.

“What’s up his ass?”

“He’s jealous of you.” She looked at me seriously. I had to laugh. I couldn’t picture Brian being jealous of me. “I don’t find that funny.”

“I do.” I played with Leah’s hair.

“Why? You have so much to offer. Any woman would be happy to have a man like you.”

I scooted closer to Leah. She smelled like apples and vanilla. I could literally devour her neck. I couldn’t be thinking like that. She was getting married in a few months. Leah could make any man go crazy. I wanted to have her in my arms and in my bed. I wanted to lick every inch of Leah’s body and make her scream my name. Stop it, I told myself. I cannot be thinking like that. It was wrong on so many levels, but it seemed so right

“The only woman I want doesn’t feel that way.” I mumbled.

“Age, we can’t keep playing this game. I love Brian. We’re getting married. I’ve moved on, you should too.”  She breathed heavily. I could tell my closeness was getting to her. Leah could tell me she loved Brian until she was blue in the face, but I wouldn’t believe it. I was going to prove that I could get into her skin.

“It’s not a game. I still want you Leah. I never stopped. I’m a different man.” I ran a finger down her arm. She shivered. It was time to make my move. “I’ve changed. Can’t you give me a chance? If it doesn’t work out then you can go back to Brian.”

Before she had a chance to speak, my lips crushed hers. It was a hard kiss. My body pressed against hers. I may not have had sex in forever, but I certainly didn’t forget how to please a woman. Her hands were playing with the hem of my shirt. I snaked my tongue in her mouth. Leah rubbed her chest against mine. Her breasts felt good touching my body. She made me hard, hell harder than when I was just looking at her.

“God, AJ what brought this on?” She smiled at me.

“Leah, you’ve been in my head since you got here. All I want is you fucking me in my bed over and over. This is what you do to me.” I placed her hand on my manhood.

“Fuck.” Leah licked her lips. She was sexy when she was flustered. “This is so wrong.”

“Who’s going to tell? It will be our secret.” I licked her neck as she looked at the stars.

“I can’t sleep with you.”

“I’m not asking you to hop in bed at least for tonight. I just want some hot and heavy making out. Come, on. Please don’t make me beg.” I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. “It will be our secret. I’ll take it to the grave.”

Leah sat quietly for a few minutes. She was contemplating what to do. I gave her a nudge by placing my hand on her back under her shirt and massaging her soft skin.

“I’m going to go to hell for this.” She grabbed my face and kissed me. I was in heaven. I forgot everything else except the woman on the bench next to me. My other hand went to her breast. I slowly rubbed and squeezed it until she moaned into my mouth.

Brian, Eden, and everything else was forgotten. We were so into each other that nothing else mattered. I was right where I wanted to be. I could stay here forever with Leah.

Leah’s Point of View

 It was ten in the morning; we were in the elevator on our way to the suite. Last night was impulsive. It was like I was falling back to my old ways. Guilt was gnawing at the pit of my stomach. All I could think of was how I cheated on Brian. He would kill both of us if he found out. AJ just did something to me. He made me forget everything but him. We were like a match and stick, we always started a fire.

“Age, you’re never going to mentioned this night again are you?” I asked shyly.

“It’s our secret, babe. I enjoyed it…a lot.” He wiggled his eyes at me.

“I did, too. I’m still in love with Brian and I’m going to marry him.” I reminded him.

“I know. Let’s not talk about Brian at the moment.” The elevator stopped and we both stepped out. “Just act normal. We’ll tell them we went out for coffee.”

“Because that will work since we were both out all night.” I said walking to the room.

“We’ll say that we met up after doing whatever by ourselves.” He took out his keycard and swiped it. The door opened.

“WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?” Brian yelled. He was mad. His face was red and his nostrils were flaring out. I knew he would be upset, but I didn’t realize to this extreme.

“I went out to clear my head.” I answered sheepishly. I walked over to Brian. AJ leaned against the wall pretending to go unnoticed.

“YOU WERE GONE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT EVEN A PHONE CALL.” He screamed at me. I had never seen him this angry before. I was in shock.

“Brian, I had a lot on my mind. I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

“What the hell is McLean doing coming in with you?”

“We..umm…ummm…had…” I stuttered. I was having trouble lying to Brian.

“We ran into each other and had coffee this morning. It was no big deal.” AJ replied calmly. He had no problem lying.

Brian moved to the dining room table and picked up a newspaper. “What the fuck do you call this?” He shoved it in my face.

I took it from him and glanced at it. Shit, damn, fuck, I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Front page news was AJ and I making out in the park. No wonder Brian’s nostrils wouldn’t stop flaring. I guess this secret wasn’t going to the grave. My stomach was queasy and I wanted to throw up. I pushed the newspaper into AJ’s chest.

“What do you want me to say?” I whispered. My life was falling apart. One passionate moment with AJ and everything I had was going be gone. Why didn’t I use my brain?

“I want you to say that I’m imagining this photo.” The picture was very suggestive. It was AJ and I in a full out make out session. My hands were around his waist and AJ’s one hand was on my breast and the other was in my hair.

“Bri, I’m sorry. I never meant for it to happen.” I heard AJ scoff.  Having him in the room wasn’t helping.

Brian walked over to AJ. He slammed him against the wall and got in his face. “You mother fucker, son of a bitch, no good bastard! Leave my fiancé alone. She was happy until you came around. You’re not going to ruin this for us. We are happy and I plan on it staying that way. Go screw a groupie. You touch her again, you mother fucker, and I will kill you.” I had never seen Brian so angry.

“Go to hell! She wanted it just as much as I did.” He laughed in Brian’s face. AJ was acting like the cocky bastard he really was. Last night must have been fluke because he was actually sweet and caring. “Get the fuck off of me. I can’t help it you want mine and Nick’s sloppy seconds.”

“AJ, get out. You’re nothing but an asshole.” Tears fell from my eyes. “I can’t stand you. Please leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He flopped down on the couch.

“Brian can we talk in private?” I took his hand, but he pulled away.

“No, I think the three of us need to discuss this together.” He sat down in a chair. “Sit, Leah.”

I quickly sat down. I didn’t think I wanted this to go on any longer than it had to. Why was I such a fool when it came to AJ? I lost all my brain cells whenever we were alone together.

“Brian, I’m sorry I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was upset and….”

“Leah you were fine with it last night. Why do you become a coward when Rok’s around?”

I glared at him for a moment, before I began to speak. “I’m not a coward and you damn well know it. I wish you would butt out my life.”

“Enough both of you. It’s my turned to talk and you are both going to listen. First off, AJ, I know all about Leah’s past. You don’t need to throw it in my face.”

“So you like being the third Backstreet Boy to be inside her. I never knew you were that kind of man.” AJ was pissed.

“Shut up AJ. You need to shut your face. Leah, I don’t want you alone with him ever again.” I nodded my head at Brian. “I’ll forgive you this one time. If anything happens again we’re through.”

“Bri baby, it will never happen again. It was a weak moment for me. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” I apologized. I was truly sorry for hurting him. I loved Brian a lot. We both stood up and he wrapped his arms around me.

“We’re not done talking, but we’ll do that in private.” He whispered in my ear.

“You two deserve each other. Brian, you’re so desperate for love that you’ll take anything that resembles love. Leah, you’re nothing but a twisted, manipulative, nympho. Both of you can go fuck yourselves.” AJ got up and walked to his room. As the door slammed shut, Eden made an appearance in the room.

“What’s going on?” She asked half asleep. “I heard a bunch of yelling.”

“Nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart.” I attempted to sound reassuring to my daughter.

She sat down on the couch and picked up the newspaper before Brian or I could stop her. She turned to the front page. The look on her face said it all. She placed the newspaper on the table face down.

“M..Mom, what is going on?” She inquired carefully. Eden looked from me to Brian. Her brown eyes glazed with tears that were ready to spill.

“Eden, right now it’s between Brian, AJ and me. I don’t mean to be rude, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I tried to put it nicely. The less people involved the better. Eden was too young to understand the situation in front of her. I ran a hand through my hair.

“Why does everyone keep saying that to me? Just because I’m fourteen freaking years old, I know nothing. What I think doesn’t matter.” She yelled and continued with her tirade. “All of this has to do with me. If dad didn’t knock you up, I wouldn’t be here. Then you would have never seen him again, which means you and Brian would have never found each other. Mom, I think you are a selfish bitch. I can’t believe you would do this to Brian. He deserves so much better than what he has.” Eden finally took a breath after her little monologue.

“Eden, I know you are upset. I get that and I understand it, but there’s a lot more to the situation than you are allowed to know at this point of you life.” I sat down next to her. “Right now, you should worry about yourself and spending time with your dad. Brian and I are working on things.”

“I don’t want to spend time Alexander McLean. He’s an ass. All he does is ruin things for me. Brian is my father. Mom if you push him aside for dad, than you really are a stupid bitch.” Eden stormed back into her bedroom.

I was flabbergasted by daughter. I started bawling and within seconds Brian was holding me tightly against his chest. “It’s going to be okay.” He comforted me.

Leah’s Point of View

I woke up in my bed. Brian must have taken me to our room after everything that happened. My head ached from all the stress of the past few days. I wanted things to go back to normal, but I didn’t know how. This is why I stayed away from AJ. Trouble always followed me and him. Things were good when he wasn’t around.

2001

AJ sat on the bed looking at me. I was packing my suitcase and leaving the tour. Eden was sitting on the floor playing with her stuffed animals.

“Why are you doing this?” He raised his voice. Anger was flashing from his eyes.

“Eden, can you take your animals and show them to Uncle Nicky. I don’t think he has met your elephant and panda.” I prayed she would leave me alone with AJ for a few minutes. She looked at me like I asked her to build the pyramids. “Maybe you can get him to buy you some ice cream.”

“Okay.” She jumped up and grabbed all her animals. She could barely hold them all in her tiny arms. “I love ice cream.” She ran out of the room.

When I made sure she was far enough away, I closed the door. I had every intention of telling AJ why and where he could go. I was sick of his shit. I had enough to last me a lifetime.

“You want to know why. How can you sit there and act so fucking stupid.” I hissed.

“I treated you good until you started treating me like shit.” He grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig.

“Right there is why I’m leaving.” I grabbed the bottle from him, the contents spilling over both of us. “You’ve changed. You would rather drink then spend time with me.”

“I can say the same of you. You act all innocent, but I know all about you cheating on me.” He screamed.

“What the hell are you talking about? I never cheated on you.” I lied. There was no way he knew about me and Nick. I didn’t love Nick. He was just good in bed, especially since AJ hadn’t made love to me in a long, long time. I had needs and my sex drive was high.

“You’re lying, but that’s nothing new. I can’t believe you would take my daughter away from me.” He blubbered. How the hell did he know what he was saying? He was so drunk from the alcohol he had been drinking for days upon days. He was out of control.

“My daughter doesn’t need to be in this environment. You’re drunk all the time and bring groupies back all the time. It’s not safe for her.” I threw Eden’s toys in the suitcase and zipped it up.

“That’s funny since you acted like she didn’t exist for the first three and a half years of her life. I don’t remember you doing jack shit. I’m responsible.” He gave me the dirtiest look.

“Please Age, let’s make this easy on Eden. Just tell her goodbye and that you will see her soon.” I pleaded. “As for me, when you get your head out of your ass and grow up, call me. I love you more than the world, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to me or our daughter.” I grabbed the suitcase and walked out of the room. AJ followed me.

“Eden it’s time to tell daddy goodbye.” She handed me her stuffed animals.

“Da-da, I love you. I’m gunna miss you.” Eden gave him a hug. He held onto her like he’d never see her again. My heart was breaking. I had to be strong and not cry. If he told me he would stop drinking, I would stay.

“I’m going to miss you, jelly bean.  Just remember daddy always loves you and you can call me any time day or night.” Tears started falling from both of their eyes. I had to look away because my resolve was wearing down.

“Eden it’s time to go.” She gave her dad one final kiss and hug. “Bye AJ.” I gave him a quick kiss on the check and ambled out.

“NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE MY DA-DA. LET ME STAY!!!!” Eden screeched over and over until she tired herself out.

The memory of me leaving AJ haunted me still today. My mind wouldn’t let me get past it. At times I think it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I loved that man to the core. Part of me still loved him deep within my heart. How could I not love him? He gave me my daughter, but it was more than that.

Thinking back, leaving him was one thing I needed to do. It helped him realize he had an addiction and he finally got the help he needed. It also pushed me to grow up. I became a responsible parent and cleaned up my act. It was the turning point in my life.

The door opened and Brian sauntered over to the bed. “Are you okay?”

“Not really.” I sat up. I was afraid to look at him. I know that he was disappointed in me.

“It’s been a tough couple days. I never thought we would go through something like this.”

“Bri, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t change things, but I really mean it.” He scooted closer to me.

“I appreciate that. Is this the reason you’ve stayed away from AJ all these years?” I nodded my head. “Baby, if he affects you this much, how are things going to work for us? I want you on tour with me.”

“I don’t know, B. I’m trying to move past it, but I guess I need to try harder. Right now, I’m more worried about Eden. Not only does she hate AJ, she hates me, too.”

“She’s teenager and moody. Eden is starting to realize that everything isn’t black or white. She’ll get over it.” Brian put his arms around me. It was safe and I need to feel safe.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have shut AJ out of her life so much. Why was I so stupid?”

“Babe, you’re not stupid. You were trying to protect her. He was an alcoholic. It was unsafe for her to be around him.” He rubbed my thigh.

“But after he got clean I could have given him more time with her. Hell, he took care of her those first few years when I was off screwing around. They were so close and I broke that bond.”

“Leah, you can’t change the past. You can only fix the present. AJ could have done more. I love Eden like she’s my own. Knowing that I’m never going to have a child of my own, she’s all that I got.”

“Brian, I’m sorry. I sometimes forget that you’ve helped raise her into a caring young woman. You’ve been so good for her.” I kissed him. “You know we can always adopt if you want more babies.”

“I know. Maybe we will someday. It’s just I get sad knowing that you will never carry my baby. I would love to see you with a baby bump.”

“Oh Bri. I love you so much. Make love to me.” He slowly pushed me in to the mattress. His body covered mine.

The next thing I knew was Brian had undressed both of us. His tongue was swirling around my belly button. It seemed like forever since I had been with Brian, even though it was only a few days. His mouth moved up from my stomach to my breasts. He gave equal attention to them. “Mmmm, Bri baby, that feels so good. I need you” I panted.

“You need me, eh?” He gave me a cheeky grin.

“Yes, I do. I need you inside me.” He pushed himself into me as he sucked on my ear lobe. Slowly he started thrusting into me. It was perfect. I matched his movements. We were both hungry for each other.

“That’s it Leah. Feel it baby.” He let himself go. A few seconds later I hit my release. He laid on top of me. “I love you Lee.”

“I love you Brian.”

Leah’s Point of View

For the past two days I was able avoid AJ, which made me very happy. Things with Brian were getting back to normal. I was trying my hardest to show him that I could manage to stay on tour and not let AJ get to me. Eden was slowly coming around especially because she saw me with Brian.

I walked into the dressing room a few minutes after the concert ended. Eden was running around backstage. It was nice to have a few minutes to myself. I was preparing myself for going home. Things would be busy with the charity ball and planning the wedding.

“Public display of erection, gotta make’em. Pointing in your direction, watch me watch me.” Nick moved behind me as he sang. “Public display of affection, makes you wish you had it this way.” He grinded against my ass.

I quickly turned around. “I’ve already had it, and I don’t want. I’m very pleased in that department.”

“You wound me. I remember when you couldn’t get enough of my PDE.” He smirked. God, he was such a cocky ass. I loved him dearly, but only he could get away talking to me like that. He so didn’t turn me on anymore.

“I was so unwise back then. I’m glad I’ve grown up and learned that there is more to man than his dick. I love you Nicky.” I gave him a hug.

“Step away from my lady.” Brian teased his best friend. Even though Brian knew I slept with Nick, he was never jealous about it. If AJ knew he would have ripped Nick a new asshole. AJ was always envious of any guy that looked or talked to me. He would flip knowing that Nick had me in his bed.

“She’s so hot. Can’t you share her with me?” Nick begged.

“I’m greedy and I won’t share my fiancé with anyone.” Brian pulled me away from Nick and gave me a hard kiss on the lips. “Well, I’m off to get a shower.”

Brian left me and Nick and went to get the sweat off his body.  I sat down on the couch and checked my emails on my phone.

“You going out with us tonight, Leah?” Sadie, Howie’s wife asked.

“I don’t know. What is the plan?”

“We’re going to go do some karaoke.” She flopped on the couch.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

“What sounds like fun?” Brian walked in wearing jeans and no shirt. Damn he was sexy. He never had to put a shirt on. I would be a happy woman.

“Karaoke.” I smiled at him. “You want to go?”

“Well, I promised Eden a movie night.” He sat on the arm of the couch next to me. “I don’t want to back out on her.”

“That’s sweet of you. Do you mind if I go?” I rubbed his thigh. My hands were on him as soon as he was near me.

“Go ahead and enjoy yourself.”

-------------------------------------------

Things were in full swing at the karaoke bar. Nick was enjoying himself immensely. I think the few drinks he had loosened him up a lot. He serenaded me with I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd. He was one walking hard on for me. Howie sang a bunch of romantic songs for his wife.  Sadie and I sang Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. AJ sulked most of the night. I don’t know what his problem was, but I assumed it was me.

“Well, I’m up guys.” AJ stood up and walked to the stage. A slow country melody came on. It was familiar to me. I didn’t know whether to be pissed or touched by the song he chose.

He slowly started to sing. Chills ran through my body. AJ stared at me the whole time he sang. I couldn’t believe he was singing our song. Nick whispered something in my ear, but I didn’t hear it. I couldn’t take my focus off of the man on stage.

“But I love the way that you love me, strong and wild, slow and easy, heart and soul” He stepped  off the stage and moved right in front of me. “So completely, I love the way that you love me.”

My body was shaking, and I couldn’t think straight. It was like there was no one else in the room.

“And I could list a million things I love to like about you. But they all come down to one reason; I could never live without you.” AJ sang to me and only me. That was my favorite part of the whole song. I realized I had tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was suffocating. I needed air and I needed at that moment. I pushed myself out of the chair and ran outside.

What in the hell was AJ thinking by singing our song? I thought he was done with this childish behavior. I had two days of peace with him and he does this. I know it’s because Brian wasn’t there. He thought he could pull shit on me when Brian wasn’t here. Damn, that man had nerve.

“Why did you leave?” He asked quietly. I turned around and glared at him.

“You asshole. You know what that song does to me. Why in the hell would you pull that shit?”

“I wanted you to know how much I still love you.” He answered honestly.

“Don’t you get that fact that I’m engaged to another man? I’m not going to leave Brian because you sang that song to me.”

“I fucking know that. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll always love you.” He closed the space between us. I could feel his breath on my skin.

“Damn you, go find yourself a woman. You need a good fuck to get me out of your system.” I backed away from him, but he put his arms around my waist and wouldn’t let me go.

“I’ll never get you out of my system, but if you want to fuck me, I’m more than willing to be a participant.” He smirked at me. That left me feeling hot.

“I’m not interested in sleeping with you. I have a man that fulfills my bedroom needs.”

“I bet I could make you cum more times than Brian ever could in one night.” AJ placed kisses on my jaw. It was so erotic.

“I’m not going there, Age.” I moaned. “Brian pleases me, I don’t need anyone else.”

“Your body’s telling me another story. Just spend one night with me.” His mouth moved to mine. We spent the next few minutes exploring each other’s mouth.

“Stop.” I broke away from him. “I can’t. I love Brian.”

“Bullshit.” He started to walk away.

“Don’t leave. Let’s talk.”

“I’m tired of talking. Leah, I love you. There is never going to be another woman for me. What can I do to prove to you that I love you and want you in my life?” He pleaded. My heart was breaking for him. After all the crap I put him through he still loved me.  What did I do to deserve such unconditional love?

“Age, it’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple.” He caressed my cheek. “All I’m asking is for one night with you. It will be our secret. Brian will never have to know. I’ll never ask you again. Let me make love to you. Let me show you how much I love you.”

I was in a predicament. I was torn between giving in to AJ and telling him to fuck off. My mind said that what he was asking me to do was wrong, but my heart was telling me to let AJ love me.”

“Please baby, one night. It’s all I ask.” AJ begged for a third time.

AJ’s point of view

“I think you made the right choice.” I smiled down at her. I was straddling her body as she lay on my bed.  Sure she was fully clothed but that would be changing in a few minutes.

“What makes you say that?” Leah smiled at me.

“You’re with me and it’s going to be a night you’ll never forget.” I licked my lips and placed them on hers. I pressed my body against hers. I could feel her breasts touching my chest. Damn, it felt so good.

“Are you sure you remember how to do it? I know it’s been a long time.” She teased as she grabbed my ass.

“I could never forget how I feel inside your body. Hell, I dream about it every night.” I growled in her ear.

“Well, then you are in for the night of your life.” She giggled and pulled my t-shirt out of my jeans. Then her hands moved underneath and she slowly raked her nails over my stomach.

“Lee…God…that feels good.” I moaned. With just a touch she could make me feel so damn good. I got off of her and leaned against the wall.

“You’re backing out aren’t you? I should have known you were fucking teasing me.” She started getting pissy with me.

“No, I just wanted to look at how beautiful you were. I want this night to be etched in my memory forever.” I said tenderly. Leah didn’t even realize how much I really loved her. “Both of us have too much clothing on.”

“Well aren’t you going to undress me?” She asked in that come hither voice that made me harder than hard for her. She could make me burst by just talking. The night was just beginning and I didn’t want it to end.

“Just take your damn clothes off. The sooner we’re naked the sooner we can be enjoying ourselves.” I told her as I unbuttoned my pants and slid them off.

“Ass.” She threw her tank top at me and pulled off her skirt. She sat on the bed in her hot pink bra and thong. I finished undressing and made my way to the bed.

Her lips met mine in a fever of excitement. She was making me feel like a teenager. Leah placed her tongue in my mouth as I unclasped her bra. My hands moved to her pert breasts.  It felt good to touch her and feel her. Without even knowing it, she pulled me on top of her. I lowered myself to her feet. I slowly licked from her ankle up to her thigh, making sure to give lots of attention to the skin in between.

“Fuck AJ. I’m going explode before you’re even in me. Stop teasing me.” She complained with a moan.

“You want me in you Lee?” I looked her in the eye.

“AJ, I need you in me.” She whined. I loved hearing her whine for me. It totally turned me on.

 I quickly took her thong off and threw it wherever. With one quick thrust, I was in her. She quickly matched me thrust for thrust. It was just like old times. I knew her body as well as she did. Within seconds her legs were over my shoulders.

“Age, I’m soooo close.” She whimpered.  “Cum with me, please.”

“Look at me Leah. Look me straight in the eye.” I stared her in the eye as she did the same with me. It wasn’t a look of lust. It was damn straight unconditional love radiating from her beautiful brown eyes. We both hit our highs together and I collapsed against her sweaty body.

---------------------------------------

We finally settled down after rounds two and three. I loved cuddling with Leah. She seemed to distance herself from me in the last few minutes.

“Lee, are you ok?” I grazed her cheek with my finger.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She murmured. Her voice sounded shaky like she was about to cry.

“You don’t sound like it” I placed light kisses on her bare shoulder. “You want to talk about it? I’m here to listen”

“Why are you being so sweet to me? I’ve been nothing but a bitch to you for the last fifteen years.” She turned around to face me.

“Leah, I loved you then, and I love you know. You may have fallen out of love with me, but I never stopped loving you.”

“Why? I don’t get it. I’ve treated you like shit and hurt you in so many ways. Why am I deserving of your love?”

“I’ve thought about that a lot. Even though you hurt me, it didn’t matter because no matter what I would give anything to have you back. I can’t turn my heart off. I tried to move on. I dated, put my career first, found hobbies. None of them worked.” I was honest with her. At this point it was the only choice I had. I was laying it on the line. If I blew it with her after this, I knew we weren’t meant to be. I would step back and let her live a happy life with Brian.

“It must hurt you to see me with Brian.”

“More than you ever know. What do you see in Rok?”

“I knew you were going to ask that.” She giggled, but then got serious. “Brian makes me feel safe. He is the constant in my life. I always know where I am and where I’m going with him. As much as I hated that as a teenager, I like it as an adult.”

“That’s interesting.” I commented. That was not the Leah I knew and loved. Her answered bothered me.

“Is there something wrong with what I said?” She sighed.

“You just sound rehearsed with your answer.”

“This isn’t a TV interview. You asked how I feel about Brian and I told you. I’m sorry you don’t like the truth.” She commented rudely.

“I’m calling bullshit. You can lie to Brian, our friends, his family, Eden, and anyone on the street. I know you well enough. You don’t love him.” She sat up and grabbed at pillow.

“You are nothing but a selfish asshole.” She started hitting me with the pillow as she continued on her tirade. “I love Brian. I plan to be with him forever. You need to get over it. I’m sorry you’re jealous.”

“If you love him so much, why are you in my bed fucking me?” I grabbed the pillow from her and tossed it on the floor. She attempted to hit me, but I grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her down on the bed. “You can lie all you want, but by morning I want you to be telling me the truth.”

“It’s not going to change. I’m still going to be with Brian in the morning.” I kissed her so she could stop talking. I was all about making her realize that deep down I was the only man she ever truly loved.

Leah’s Point of View

After the last time we made love AJ fell asleep. He was snoring away, and I was feeling uneasy. I removed the covers and got out of bed. I found my clothes and put them on. I slipped out of the room quietly. I made my way to mine and Brian’s room. He was sleeping soundly, so I knew I wouldn’t be caught. I headed into the bathroom to get a shower.

The warm water trickled down my body. My warm tears were mixed in the spray on my face. How did I succumb to AJ so easily? Something about him held me in a trance. I shed tears for being stupid to falling for AJ. I shed more tears for being unfaithful to Brian. He was innocent in this situation.

Twenty minutes later, I was getting dressed for the day. It was still early, about five thirty. I finished putting my things away, when I heard Brian stir.

“Baby, where were you all night?” He asked groggily.

“When we got back I wasn’t tired, so I watched some TV and fell asleep on the couch.” I explained hoping he would believe me.

“I missed you cuddling with you.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet. How was your movie night with Eden?”

“It was good. We watched one of the Harry Potter movies.” He yawned.

“Bri, you’re still tired. It’s early, go back to bed. I’m headed to the gym. I love you.” I kissed his cheek.

“Love ya, Leah.”

I left the room and quickly exited the suite. When I entered the gym it was empty. That gave me a feeling of relief. At this point I didn’t want to be around anyone. I sat on the floor with my chin on my knees.

What was I going to do? I loved Brian and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He was everything a woman would want in a husband. He was caring, kind, understanding, and would do anything for me. He loved Eden like she was his own daughter. Who wouldn’t want to be with a man like that?  I mean at times he was corny and predictable, but I had grown used to that. Brian was safe. I always knew where he stood.  There was never a guessing game when it came to Brian.

I know that it was wrong of me to cheat on Brian. The thought had never crossed my mind until I was around AJ. Maybe it was because we had a history together. Sure it was toxic, but at times I think he was the only person to get who I was.  AJ was my first on so many things in my life. We shared a special bond that only parents could share.

How was I going to tell Brian I was unfaithful? It would wound him. I know that he would want to work things out because Brian would never accept the fact that we didn’t try to solve our problems. I think that is what I loved most about him.

At least I would be leaving in a couple days. Being away from AJ would help matters immensely. I knew AJ had high hopes that I would leave Brian for him, but it wasn’t going to happen.

“Are you okay, Leah?” Nick asked in concern as he entered the gym. Shit, I really didn’t want to see him at the moment.

“I’m fine.” I stood up.

“You looked like you were in a fog.” He gave me a strange look.

“I was meditating. I must have gotten into it too much.” I laughed. Breathe, Leah breathe.

“I guess so. So you left with AJ last night?” He questioned as he got on the treadmill. I stepped on the one next to him.

“No, we got into a heated argument and I left on my own.” I started running. At least I was getting my frustration out.

“Interesting.” He made a funny face at me.

“What’s so interesting about it?” I commented. I didn’t want to deal with this shit. I was Nick would stop acting like an ass.

“Well you both disappeared and AJ had a woman in his room last night.”

“So he got lucky. You act like he’s never had sex before.” I rolled my eyes at Nick.

“Leah, he hasn’t had a woman in his room for a long time. I don’t anyone who has gone without sex as long as him.” He stopped jogging.

“What are you getting at, Nick?” I stopped and glared at him.

“In the past year, he told me that only woman he wanted in his bed was you.”

“I guess he changed his mind.” I said quickly, probably a little too quickly.

“You may be able to lie to Brian and AJ, but I’m the expert at covering up deceitful liaisons.”

“Wow, Nick I never knew you could use such big words.” I stepped off the treadmill and started to leave. I didn’t need Nick’s shit today. I already was feeling like a cheating whore.  “I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”

“Oh, AJ fuck me harder, make me cum. Lee, I’m about to blow. Does that ring a bell?” He sneered. “You can pretend all you want, but my room is next to his. I heard you banging all night long.”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked.  I was ready to punch Nick in the gut. I couldn’t stand him at the moment.

“I think it’s a shame you’re screwing around on my best friend. Brian doesn’t deserve to be used by a slut like you.” He grabbed my wrist. I pulled free from him.

“You have no right calling me a slut. I remember all the nighst you enjoyed me in your bed when I was with AJ.” I hissed. “It was all fine and dandy for you to fuck me, but now you’re a hypocrite because you’ve suddenly become a saint. That sure is funny coming from the biggest womanizer of the Backstreet Boys.

“Leah, it’s time you grow up. Brian is a good man. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I regret them. You’re going to lose him if you don’t stay from J. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Nick go to hell. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You need to keep your effin’ mouth shut. This is my problem and I’ll deal with it. If you say anything to Brian, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’ll give you until the charity ball to come clean. If you don’t, I’m telling Rok.” He said with a clenched jaw.

“You have some nerve. I never thought you would be the one to ruin my relationship with Brian.”

“I’m sick of you treating him like crap. He deserves someone that actually loves him.” Nick pushed me aside as he walked to the door.

“I do love him.” I called out.

“Prove it. Tell AJ to fuck off and come clean to Brian.” Nick left the gym. I was in shock. Nick was usually on my side when it came to things. Now he was against me. I never was so alone in my life.

Leah’s Point of View

After my conversation with Nick, I was mentally drained. I don’t think I could take much more drama. Being on tour wasn’t for me. I needed to leave now.

Eden was sitting on the couch watching cartoons with AJ. They were both laughing at Bugs Bunny. I was shocked to see them spending time together. “Hey mom! How was your workout?”

“Great. I need to go make some phone calls.” I answered her abruptly and made my way to the balcony. I sat down and made arrangements for a flight that would take me home today.  Once everything was settled, I took in a breath of fresh air. Some of my stress seemed to disappear. My world was closing in on me and I need to decide what I wanted. As mad as Nick made me; he was right about the fact that I needed to tell Brian. It’s just I didn’t know how to tell him without hurting him more than I had to.

“Babe, it everything okay?”

“Hey Bri.” He sat down next to me “I need to go home. They are having issues with the charity ball and only I can handle them.”

“It hard when you’re the best person for the job.” He placed a kiss on my cheek. “The ball would never happen if it weren’t for you.  I’m going to miss you, but I’ll be home in a few weeks.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to have you all to myself.” I sighed. Brian seemed so happy, and I knew that I would be breaking his heart in a matter of weeks.

--------------

“Mom I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Eden said dramatically. “Now I’m stuck all alone with dad.”

“You seemed to be having a good time with him this morning.” I kissed her on the forehead. “Just give him a chance. I think you will realize your dad is cooler than you think.”

“I guess.” She shrugged in her typical teenage attitude.

I grabbed my suitcase and wheeled it into the living room of the suite. Eden followed me like a lost puppy. Nick entered the suite and gave me a dirty look. He was still pissed from our conversation this morning.

“Where are you going?” He asked curiously. He tone wasn’t spiteful as it was this morning. I think it was because Eden was there.

“I have business to take care of at home.” I smiled politely at him. I didn’t want Eden to think anything was wrong.

Nick moved in close to me and whispered in my ear. “I think that’s the best decision you’ve made recently. I hope you get your head out of your ass and realize what you have. Don’t throw it away for a thrill.”

“Are you hitting on my woman?” Brian teased as he entered the room.

“Nah, she loves you too much to ever want me. You got a good woman Rok.” Nick joked. What a liar he was.

“I certainly do.” He hugged me. “I meet you at the venue in a few hours.”

----------------------

AJ’s Point of View

God fucking damn me to hell. I couldn’t believe she left without saying goodbye. Well actually it really didn’t surprise me. I don’t think Leah would ever admit the truth. I saw it in her beautiful fucking eyes last night. She could deny the hell out of her feelings, but I knew she loved me.

“What’s wrong J? You look like your dog died.” Howie pushed himself onto the stage next to me.

“Nothing I care to talk about.” I swung my legs trying to ignore the hurt I was feeling. I really didn’t want to talk about it. Howie would ride my ass for screwing around with an engaged woman. Nobody got how much I truly loved her.

“Is this about a certain someone that left today?”

“No, why the hell would I care if that bitch left. At least I don’t have to deal with her. I hope she stays in Atlanta for good.”

“You’re lying. After the stunt you pulled singing that song, you are still in love with her.”

“Well thank you Captain Obvious.” I grumbled.

“I wasn’t finished. You have to be blind not to see that she loves you back.” I looked at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, well apparently not enough. She’s happy with Brian.”

“Brian is her safety net. She doesn’t have to try with him. He’s vanilla to her.”

“Vanilla, what hell does that mean? What kind of psychobabble is Sadie filling your head with?” I loved Howie but his wife tried to teach him psychology and he acted like he understood it.

“He’s predictable. Leah always knows what she’s going to get with Brian. Every day is the same with him. Every fight and make up is the same. I’m sure the sex is predictable, too.” His last comment got me laughing.

“You mean he’s not a wild man in bed?” I joked. Then I got back to the issue. “That’s the one thing she never wanted. Hell, her parents were so strict that made her want to be wild. Why would she want that now?”

“Think about it, J. Brian is the exact opposite of you. If you were trying to get over somebody you would go for someone the exact opposite of her. I think Leah cares for Brian, but she doesn’t love him.”

“Well she chose him over me again.”

“That’s cause you think sleeping with her is going to make her change her mind.”

“What are you talking about?” I feigned innocence.

“Man, I know how you are. Plus Sadie and I saw her going into you room last night.” He looked at me with slight disappointment.

“Yeah, well she left without a word to me.”

“Well I’m sure she’s not in the best place at the moment. She just cheated on the man she’s going to marry. Deep in her heart she knows she doesn’t love him.  Plus I bet her feelings for you are coming back.”

“What do I do?” I was at a loss for coming up with a solution. I wanted Leah to choose me over Brian.

“I don’t know man, but stop trying to get into her pants every time you’re with her. Show her that she’s more than a piece of ass. You got to let her know you care.” With that Howie jumped off the stage and left me there thinking about Leah.

AJ’s Point of View

“Dad, can I please have my phone back, please?” Eden begged.

“In about two weeks.”

“What about my computer?” She moved onto the next thing.

“In two weeks.” I smiled at her. She rolled her eyes.

“Dad, this tour is sooo boring. I have nothing to do.” She complained as she placed her chin on the table. I thought it was funny.

“You could read those novels for school.”

“Dad, I’ve already read them. How many days til we go back to L.A.?”

“We have three more shows. What do you want to do in L.A.?” I asked my daughter. That way as least I had some ideas to keep her occupied and happy.

“I want to go to Disneyland, Sea World, Knot’s Berry Farm, and Universal Studios. I want to shop at Rodeo Drive and go surfing.” She rattled off. At least was excited about spending the rest of the summer with me. I would ride every roller coaster if it made her happy.

“Are you trying to make me sick with all those rides?” I teased by pulling her ponytail.

“Well duh! The sicker you get the more I enjoy it.” She laughed. “Please don’t mess up my hair. I spent like ten minutes on it.”

“You are so you mom. She would always complain about me touching her hair.” I reminisced.

“Dad, did mom seem weird when she left yesterday?” Eden asked me.

“I don’t know. What makes you think that?” I asked curiously. Eden was perceptive about a lot of things. It didn’t surprise me that she would notice her mom acting weird.

“It just seemed like she was in a hurry to get the hell out of here. She just seemed frazzled.”

“I’m sure it’s just the stress of the charity ball. It’s coming up soon and she has a lot of responsibility.” I attempted to reassure my daughter that things were okay with her mom. She didn’t need involved in adult drama.

“Dad.” She tilted her head and gave me the duh look. She was so much like Leah it scared me at times. “Mom is never frazzled. She always has everything in control. Something is up. I could tell by the looks her and Nick were sharing. Plus something seems off with her and Brian.”

“What are you talking about? Nick and your mom get along.” My daughter was a wealth of information and I loved it. I hoped that I could get some answers from her.

“When she was getting ready to leave Nick whispered something in her ear. Mom looked pissed at whatever he had to say. That’s why it’s weird because I never see them together the whole time she was here.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t what is going on, but I think your mom will be ok. Here, take my phone and call her. I’m sure she would love to hear from you.” I gave her my cell and was on my way to find Nick.

After about five minutes of searching for the blond wonder, I found him sitting dressing room playing on his laptop. I walked in grabbed his computer and placed it on the coffee table.

“What the hell did you do that for?” Nick looked pissed at me but I didn’t care. I sat down on the table in front of him.

“What the fuck did you do to piss off Leah?”

“What are you talking about?” Nick could play dumb, but I knew something happened.

“You know what the fuck I’m talking about. Eden noticed something up between the two of you.” I kicked his foot. “You better tell me what’s going on.”

“Personally, it’s none of your god damn fucking business. It was a private conversation between Leah and me. If you are so concern you need to as her.” Nick sat up straighter on the couch. I could see the anger flash in his eyes. I guess I was pissing him off.

“Like she’s going to tell me anything. I want to know what happened.”

“Why do you care so much about Leah? She’s better off without you.  Let her and Brian be happy.” He snarled at me.

“I get it now. This is about Leah and Brian.” I laughed in his face. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“No, you’re the one kidding yourself.” He sneered at me. I was ready to beat the shit out of him, but I reminded myself that my daughter was on the tour. She didn’t need to see my acting that way.

“What the hell are you fucking talking about?”

“I know you seduced Leah. Believe me I heard you screaming each other’s names all night.” Nick got into my face. “You have the balls to sleep with your friend’s fiancé. That is disgusting and wrong.”

“Oh like you have room to talk Nickolas Fucking Gene God’s Gift to Women Carter. It’s not like you haven’t had a taste of Leah.”  Nick stepped back after my comment. He flopped down on the couch glaring at me the whole time. “Don’t you dare fucking deny it.”

“Yes, I slept with Leah.” He wasn’t going to deny it, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Nick was such a bastard.

“And while she was still with me, you fucking a-hole. I may not have said anything to you then, but I hate the fact that you drove her away from me.” I sat back down. All the feelings I held inside were coming out.

“Don’t blame me for that. You’re drinking and drugs did that. You are responsible for that.”

“That might be the case, but I didn’t start the drugs until I caught you fucking her right under my nose. At the time it was the only way I could forget about my pain.” I was ready to burst. I was angry. I was sad. I was hurting. “What you didn’t know asswipe was that I was going to propose to her. Then I caught you fucking her and I couldn’t give her the ring knowing she had been unfaithful to me.”

“I’m not the only one to blame. It takes two people to have sex. She could have said no.” God damn Nick always had to think he was innocent. What a fucking moron he was.

“No kidding. Regardless of the current situation, you have no right to say anything to Leah, Brian, Eden, or anyone else. You are a hypocrite.”

“Go to Hell J. I told her she’d be better off than being with a fuckup like you. Brian is good for her and Eden. You don’t need to come in a mess it up.” He said bitterly.

“It’s not your place to get involved.” I got up and started pacing.

“I don’t want to see Brian and Leah get hurt. They are good for each other. She has until the ball to come clean to him about screwing your skinny ass or I’ll give Rok the news.” He grabbed his laptop and left the room.

Why did Nick have to fuck everything up? How was I going to get Leah back before then? The ball was less than a month away. As always my luck was shit.

Leah’s Point of View

I was glad to be back in Atlanta. I missed Eden and Brian, but was happy to not be around AJ.  I was feeling confused about sleeping with AJ. In my heart I knew it was wrong to cheat on Brian. I didn’t want to be that kind of woman. I was a cheater in the past and it ruined my relationship with AJ. Though AJ had no clue I slept with Nick; I know that’s when our relationship started to fizzle.

I sat in my office thinking of something to do. Things were pretty much done for the ball. The main thing I had to do was make some follow up calls about donations and update the guest list. I was in no mood to talk on the phone, so I was avoiding my work. Instead my thoughts were on AJ. My cell phone rang, and I quickly picked it up without looking at the number.

“Hello!”

“Hi Leah. How are you, dear?” It was Brian’s mom. I loved her dearly but I did not want to have a conversation with her. I took my glasses off and set them on the desk.

“I’m fine. How are you Jackie?”

“Doing well. I was just calling to see if you needed any help with the wedding?” She was a good woman. Jackie always wanted to help. I appreciated it.

“I think everything is okay for the moment, but thanks for offering.” I was short and to the point. Maybe she would realize that I didn’t want to talk.

“That’s good. You’re always on top of things. Harold and I will be coming down for the ball. We were wondering if we could have Eden for a few days afterwards.”

“Eden’s with AJ for the summer, but I can talk to him. I don’t think it would be a problem.” I hoped he wouldn’t have a problem with her visiting with them. AJ was attending the ball, so Eden would be in Georgia. “She would enjoy spending time with you.”

“Great!” I could tell she was smiling. “Brian said you were on the tour for a while.”

“Yeah I just got back. Eden was having some issues with a boy.” I glanced at the clock. I just wanted to get off the phone.

“You mean you had to go all the way to Germany. Couldn’t AJ handle it?” She asked curiously. I know she didn’t say it to be mean, but I was annoyed by the comment.

“ AJ and I handled it together. Plus, it was nice getting to see Brian. I was missing him.” I mentioned the last part to buffer my first comment. I wasn’t lying I did miss him.

“Well that’s good. I always thought it was shame that he didn’t want to spend time with Eden. She’s a wonderful young woman. Any guy would be lucky to have a daughter like her.”

“I know. I’m proud of her.” I paused. “Not to cut this short, but I have a meeting in a few minutes. I’ll call you after I talk to AJ.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later. Take care, Leah. Love ya.”

I said my goodbyes and shut off my phone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. My work was done for the day, so I decided to go home. I grabbed my purse and briefcase and headed out. I walked over to my secretary. “I’m heading out for the day. Just send my phone calls to voice mail. I’ll check them tonight. If Chase comes in tell him I sent the menu to the printers and give him a copy of the one I sent you.”

“Have a good day, Leah.”

“Thanks.” I waved as I walked out.

-----------------------------------

AJ sat on the couch in the dressing room, checking his text messages. He was bored and glad the tour was ending in two days. All he wanted was to spend time alone with Eden and figure out a way to show Leah that he really cared about her.

Earlier, he had sent her a beautiful bouquet of red and lavender roses, dark pink hydrangea, lavender phlox, lavender and dark purple carnations, purple orchids and hot pink freesia. He couldn’t send her the typical red roses. That was not Leah. She was unique.

Eden walked into the dressing room. She noticed that her dad kept checking his phone. Eden thought he was acting strange. “Why do you keep looking at your phone?” She sat down next to me.

“No reason.” He put the phone in his pocket.

“You’re lying. What are you hiding?” Eden questioned with a smile on her face.

“Nothing.” AJ was glad he had sunglasses on because she would see that he was lying.

“Whatever.” She said as his phone dinged. It was a text. AJ stood up and left his daughter sitting on the couch. Once he got in the hallway, he took the phone out of his pocket. It was a text telling him to call her. He dialed her number.

“Hello, AJ. Thanks for the flowers.” I said unsurely. “They’re beautiful.”

“You’re welcome, L-bug.” AJ sounded sincere. “I’m glad you like them.”

“Why?” I was confused and irritated as to why he sent me a huge bouquet of flowers.  Then he had to call me L-bug. I hadn’t heard that nickname in forever.

“Can’t a guy just be nice?”

“Not when it’s you. What game are you playing? First flowers and now you’re calling me L-bug. You’re up to something.” I snapped.  I just wanted to forget him, and he goes and does this shit.

“I just wanted to thank you for being a good mom and putting up with my shit all these years.” He slid down the wall and settled himself on the floor. “I’ve been an ass and I just wanted to let you know that I’ve changed. I’m not the same man. I’ve learned from my mistakes.”

“How does all that involve you sending me flowers?” AJ was such a liar. I wanted to hear the truth. I was so tired of him always beating around the bush.

“Well, I wanted to put a smile on your face.”

“J, you know I’m not the type for flowers, songs, and crap like that. Instead of bullshitting me, just tell me the truth. That’s all I really want from you.” I sighed. He frustrated me to know end.

“Fine. You really want the truth?”

“Yes.” I just wanted to get off the phone and take a bubble bath.

“Lee, I’m still in love with you. I know you are marrying Brian, but I can’t control how I feel. It’s always been about you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I never cheated on you or intentionally tried to hurt you. I want to be with you in every way possible.”

“Age that isn’t possible. I love Brian. He’s my life now. I’m sorry.” I was feeling horrible. AJ was being genuine and I was breaking his heart again.

“If you loved him so much you wouldn’t have made love to me the other night.” He got emotional. I couldn’t bear to listen to him. He was making my chest hurt.

“AJ it was just sex. We had a good time, but it didn’t go further than that.” I think I was trying to convince myself more than AJ. That night I felt things I hadn’t in a long time.

“You’re lying to yourself.” He started to raise his voice. “At least I’m able to say how I feel. You would rather hide from the truth because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.” I yelled as I poured myself a glass of wine. I needed something to calm my nerves. “I’m in fucking love with Brian. Don’t you get that? You can tell me you love me every day for the rest of your life, and I’m still going to be married to Brian.”

“Leah, if you loved him so much you wouldn’t have been fucking me all night. You need to admit it to yourself. I’m going to make you forget all about Brian Littrell. You will always be mine.” Then he hung up on me.

I wiped my face and didn’t realize I had tears running down my face. I loved Brian, but somewhere deep in my core I loved AJ. What was I going to do?  How could I be in love with two men? I had a lot of soul searching to do.

Leah’s Point of View

After an exhausting day, I was happy to be home. I wanted to order in Chinese and watch a movie. I set my briefcase on the floor by the door and slid of my heels. I placed the mail on the small table next to the door and walked into the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise. Brian wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow.

“I decided to take an earlier flight home. I missed you.” The look on Brian’s face proved otherwise. He was leaning against the island with his hand folded across his chest.

“I can tell by the happy look on your face.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with whatever was making him pissy. Most likely it was going to be my fault.

“Who sent you these?” He pointed at the flowers.

“Umm…AJ.” I got myself a glass of water.

“Why did he send you flowers?” Brian expression grew angry. He wasn’t pleased.

“He wanted to thank me for being a good mom.” I took a drink.

“Really?”

“Brian why are you getting so upset about this? They’re just flowers. It’s doesn’t mean anything.” I knew anything dealing with AJ would upset him. I just wanted to forget the about them.

“I don’t trust AJ. After that kissing debacle, I don’t believe that he would just send you flowers for being a good mom.” He explained.

“Bri, that kiss was a mistake. You have no reason to worry about him. I love you. We’re getting married.” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “AJ is the father of my daughter end of story. I only have eyes for you”

“I know Leah. It’s just the way he ogles you. It pisses me off.” He played with my hair. “I love you so much.”

“Fine, Brian. I didn’t ask him to send me flowers.” I grabbed the flowers off the counter and threw them in the garbage.  “Does that make you happy?”

“What do you think? Just because I’m less than thrilled doesn’t mean you have to put on a spectacle for me.”

“No matter what I do or don’t do, it isn’t good enough for you.” I sighed.

“That’s not true. Damn it, Leah. This is about AJ, not you and me.” He walked over to me. “We’ve never had problem until now. It’s all because of him.”

“What do you want me to do? He’s in freaking L.A. We’re here in Atlanta. I don’t think he’ll be causing us trouble here. You know he was gracious enough to give you parents a week with Eden. So call him ass or whatever, but he’s not as bad as you make him out to be.” I yelled.

“All of a sudden you’re sticking up for him. I don’t get it.”

“Brian just stop! You sound jealous of him.” I wanted to stop this fight. I was tired of the jealousy.

“I’m not jealous. I don’t give a rat’s ass about him. It’s just you’ve changed since you’ve been around J.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” I waited for an answer, but nothing came. “See you can’t even tell me why.”

“Because it hurts me to even have to say it to you.” His voiced faltered. He caressed my face with his thumb. “It’s everything.”

“Can you be more specific?” I murmured.

“Damn Leah. You’re more sexual when he’s around.”

“What the hell?” I laughed in Brian’s face.

“It’s just a vibe I get when he’s around.  Every time you’re together there’s sexual tension in the room.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Brian was wearing me down. I knew I needed to come clean soon.

“Leah, I feel like we’re growing apart.” He said sadly as he looked at me.

“Brian, I love you and can’t wait to marry you, but this has to stop. AJ is always going to be in my life. You’ve got to accept that or being married is never going to work.”

“Did something happen between the two of you? Cause I don’t understand this sudden devotion to him. For the past five years you never said a kind word about him. Now every word you utter is about how wonderful he is.”

“What in the hell do you think we did, since you’re so sure that something went on.” My head was starting to ache.

“That’s what I would like to know. When you left the tour, everyone started acting weird. Nick and AJ aren’t talking. Something is up and I’m sure it has to do with you.”

“Thanks Brian for putting the blame on me.” I stomped out of the kitchen to the patio. I needed some fresh air. Unfortunately Brian followed me.

“Leah, just tell me the truth. Did something happen between you and AJ?” He gave me an icy glare. I stood there not saying a word. How could I tell him without hurting him and our relationship?

“You not talking says it all. I hope that whatever happened was worth hurting me.” He turned his back on me.

“Brian, I’m sorry.” I cried out. I had to tell him the truth.  He slowly turned around. “I slept with AJ.”

“Why?” It barely came out of his mouth.

Now it was time to explain something I don’t even know if I understood. It wasn’t as easy as just saying I was horny. There was so much more to me sleeping with AJ. I don’t know if I could explain it to Brian.

“I didn’t plan on it happening.”

“But you did it anyway. I don’t know what to say to you.” He looked into my eyes as he talked.

“Brian, I didn’t mean for it to happen. You know I would never hurt you on purpose.” I walked over to him, but he shrugged me away. I know I could never take it back.

“But you did. You did it right in front of my face. That was low.”

“I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry.” Tears were falling down my face.

“You might be sorry, but you haven’t once said you regretted it. Do you love him?” Brian choked out. That was the one question I didn’t want to answer.

“Yes, I love AJ, but…” Brian cut me off.

“That all I needed to hear.”

“God damn it, Brian. Would you let me finish?” I stood in front of the door so he was unable to leave. “Yes part of me loves him and always will. AJ and I shared a lot of moments together. He gave me my daughter. “

“That’s right he can give you the one fucking thing I can’t.” Brian choked out.

“Brian this had nothing to do with you being sterile. If it did, do think I would be standing here right now. AJ was my first love. He will always hold a special place in my heart. I have no excuse for sleeping with him. It was wrong.” I was trying to make him understand, but I think I was just making it worse.

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you. Brian, you make me feel complete. You love me know matter how stupid I am or when I make mistakes. You treat Eden like your own. I love you and still want to marry you.”

“How do we get past this?” He asked uncertainly.

“I don’t know, but I want to be with you. I want to be Mrs. Brian Littrell. We’ve always been able to work things out.”

“Leah, I need time to think. I believe in working things out. I love you, but right now I don’t like you. I’m going to get a hotel for the night. I call you when I’m ready to talk.” He left me outside on the patio. I never felt so horrible in my life. I was a cold hearted bitch. Because of my actions I was in jeopardy of losing it all because of one night.

Leah’s Point of View

I decided to take the day off from work. I wasn’t feeling well. My stomached ached, my chest hurt, and I was feeling downright yucky. I hadn’t slept since Brian went to stay at a hotel. That was three days ago. He wouldn’t answer my calls, texts, or tweets. I know I deserved to be ignored, but I wanted Brian back.

I was sitting on the couch watching Titanic for the fiftieth time. I didn’t feel as bad if I pretended I was crying over Jack and Rose. Crying was all I could do. I was a mess in every way possible. My hair was in a messy ponytail that I hadn’t brushed in days. I was wearing one of Brian’s old BSB shirts. Tissues were strewn across the room. I think I went through at least two or three boxes. Junk food packages littered the coffee table.

My thoughts went from Brian to AJ and back again. I loved them both, but for different reasons. AJ was my past, but Brian was my future. I promised myself to Brian, and it was the one promise I was going to keep. Eden deserved to have a stepfather like Brian. I couldn’t break that relationship. They had something special.

I must have closed my eyes for a bit because when I woke up I saw Brian sitting on the other side of the couch watching me. I looked at him for a few minutes before I said anything. “Bri.”

“Leah, you look like hell.”

“You don’t look so hot yourself.” Brian looked awful. He hadn’t shaved since he left. He was still wearing the same clothes.

“Yeah, well I don’t feel so hot either.” He looked at me sadly.

 “I’m sorry.” Just looking at him made me feel guilty. “I didn’t set out to hurt you.”

“But you did. Not once did you think of me when you were with him, because if you did you wouldn’t have done it.”

“I’m sorry. Things are complicated when it comes to AJ.”

“What’s so special about him all of a sudden?” Brian questioned.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. I wasn’t sure myself. “All these old feelings resurfaced. I don’t know if it was because we were on tour or what. The night we slept together he sang our song and I guess I was feeling nostalgic. I know it wasn’t right, but it won’t happen again. I’m really sorry.”

“Would you stop apologizing? I get that you’re sorry. It doesn’t make it any easier on me. How would you feel Leighanne came around and I screwed her?” He yelled at me.

“I’m sor…I feel guilty Brian. That last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.” I backed away into the arm of couch. I couldn’t be near him when he was angry. “I would be pissed if that fucking bitch ever came back.”

“Well, now you know how I feel. If you would have slept with some random guy, I could have handled it, but AJ. You know how I feel about him.”

“He didn’t cause all of the problems. I made a lot of mistakes. I’m not the same person I was back then. I know you don’t like a lot of things that he did, but he was your best friend at one point.”

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Brian moved closer to me. “We need to discuss us and how to get things back to normal.”

Brian was always in control of every situation. He made sure that things were fixed and back to order in a timely fashion. At times it bugged the hell out of me. I liked to be spontaneous and not have my whole life planned. Brian was the exact opposite. He wanted to know everything in advance and have it just so. We were so different, but they say opposites attract.

“I’m assuming you have a plan already.” I looked at him. He might have been looking rough, but he was still handsome to me.

“I did a lot of thinking these past few days. I know what I want for my future.” He paused. “I still love you even though you betrayed me. I don’t think I can live a day without you in my life.” Brian touched my face. He was so tender, it gave me chills.

“Bri.” I cried. My heart was aching waiting for him to tell me what he wanted from me.

“I still want to marry you. We are going to go through with our wedding plans. I have a some rules that we need to follow in order for this marriage to work.”

“Okay, what are they?” I was hesitant about these rules, but I loved Brian and would do anything to make him love me.

“First off, I don’t want you alone with AJ. Second the only time I want you talking to him is when it’s about Eden. When she turns eighteen, I want you to have nothing to do with AJ.  Third, I want us to adopt a baby. Do you think you can do that?” He asked me seriously. I know he meant for me to follow these rules for the rest of my life.

I could manage rule one. I didn’t plan on being anywhere near him. Rule two I could follow, but I didn’t understand how her turning eighteen would make AJ and I stop parenting her. Adopting a child would be easy. We had been talking about that for a while.

“Brian, I can do all of those, but I have one question.” I rubbed his thigh.

“What is that?”

“How do you expect me to stop all contact with AJ when Eden’s eighteen? I don’t think that’s possible. I mean sure we probably won’t communicate as much, but that is unfair to Eden.”

“Fine. Minimal communication with him.” He agreed grudgingly.

“Another thing. This stays between me and you. I will talk to AJ about the situation.” Brian ordered. It was my job to follows those orders he made. It bothered me a little, but I loved him enough to obey him.

“You need to talk to Nick. He knows about me and AJ. He was going to tell you at the ball if I didn’t”

“You mean weren’t going to tell me?” He face got red and his nostrils started to flare.

“I was Brian, but I was trying to find the right time.” I explained. Once again he was mad at me.

“There’s never a good time to tell your fiancé you fucked another guy.” He screeched at me.

“I’m sorry.” My eyes started to tear up.

“Anyway, do you promise to follow the rules?”

“Yes, Brian. I said I would.”

“Good, then everything will go back to normal starting tomorrow.” He stood up. “I’m going to get a shower and call Nick. I’ll be sleeping in the guest room tonight as seeing how I’m mad again. Tomorrow we start fresh.” With that he walked away and left me alone. What had I gotten myself into?

Leah’s Point of View

Things were back to normal, well as normal as they could be with Brian. We had almost everything planned for the wedding. He had never mentioned the cheating incident. It was like it never happened. As weird as it was, I was relieved in a way.

The charity ball was in two days so I was going crazy. Brian was picking up his parents from the airport. They were going to be staying with us until their vacation with Eden. The other guys were flying in for the ball, but would be staying at a local hotel. Denise was also coming with AJ.

“Mom! I’m home!” Eden yelled as she ran into the living room where I was working on the final counts for the ball. I stood up and gave her a hug. Even with all the drama going on, I missed my daughter.

“It’s like you’ve grown three inches since I saw you.” I smiled at her. Eden was beautiful with her long black hair that went to the middle of her back. She had AJ’s eyes, so there was always a glint of mischief in them.

“Oh mom.” She giggled. From the look on her face I could tell that she was happy. This was the first time I had seen her this way with her dad. That made me happy.

AJ and his mom walked into the room. I walked over to Denise and gave her a hug. “It’s good to see you Denise. It’s been too long.”

“I know I need to get up her more often. At least we have our phone calls.” She smiled at me. Denise was like a second mom to me. We were close, even though I wasn’t with AJ.

I looked at AJ cautiously, not sure as to what I should say to him. It was rather awkward. I didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling because he those damn sunglasses on. He was looking good, all suntanned and relaxed.

Grammy D, let me show you my room. I redecorated it since the last time you were here.” Eden took her Denise’s hand and pulled her down the hallway.

“You sure are quiet.”

“I have nothing to say.” He started to laugh. “Oh wait that’s because I’m not allowed to talk to you unless it’s about Eden. So, umm I guess we shouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“What exactly did Brian say to you?” I was curious since he never mentioned it to me.

“I don’t want to discuss it.” He said dejectedly. Then he stomped off toward Eden’s room.

I pinched the bridge of my nose to help ease the tension in my head. It didn’t work. With AJ being around I knew things were going to stressful. Brian would be watching me like a hawk.  He would be giving AJ the look the whole time. 

The door leading to the garage opened and Brian and his parents had arrived. This was sure to be a joyful afternoon. They entered the living room at the same the McLean clan did. Couldn’t I be transported elsewhere? Calgon take me away.

“Leah it’s a pleasure to see you. You’re looking beautiful.” Jackie gave me a hug. Then she walked over to Eden. Everyone was chatting and say hello. I stood back and watched. Brian and AJ both were glaring at each other but no one was paying attention. It made me feel sick.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I ran to the bathroom.

My skin was clammy, my heart was racing, and I had the feeling I was going to throw up. I ended up sitting on the floor by the toilet. I forced myself to breathe…in, out, in, out. I kept telling myself to calm down. It had been years since I had a panic attack like this.

Having Brian and AJ together in the same room rocked my nerves. The hatred in Brian’s eyes scared me. I knew it was because he loved me but, I wanted him to stop.  I know he couldn’t forgive AJ, but with the parents and Eden there I didn’t want anything to happen.

My stomach settled and my heart slowed down. I stood up carefully and made my way to the sink. I turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on my face. I heard a knock on the door and then it opened.

“Are you okay?”

“What are you doing? He’ll flip if he sees you alone with me.” I hissed. AJ always liked to live dangerously. I guess things never changed.

“Rok won’t do anything while his parents are here. Are you okay?” He moved inside the bathroom.

“I’m fine. I just needed to use the restroom.” I leaned against the sink.

“Don’t lie to me. You’re all pale and sickly looking.” He said softly. Why was he being so nice to me? I didn’t deserve it. AJ should hate me.

“It’s just the stress of the ball. I’m fine.” I started to make my way into the hall.

“If you say so.” I nodded my head.

“Where is everyone else?"

" Eden convinced the grandmas to take her shopping and out for dinner. Brian and his dad are going golfing.”

“He didn’t invite you?” I smiled.

“He did, but I declined. I told Brian that I would let you know he was leaving and head out.”

“You don’t have to leave.” I whispered.

“It would be better if I did. I should probably head to the hotel and check-in.” He said nervously. In all my years of knowing AJ, I had never seen him nervous.

“That’s fine. I have work to finished anyway.” I commented and walked into the living room.

“You don’t have to be mad at me. I’m trying to make things easier for you.” He explained. “I don’t want to interfere in your relationship with Rok. I’m sorry I caused so much trouble for you.”

“It’s fine AJ. Everything is fine between me and Brian. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m a big girl.” I put my defenses up. I was going back to being a bitch. Life was easier that way.

“Leah, I don’t need you to be an ice queen just because of Brian. I’m worried about you. Why do you let yourself be controlled like that? AJ questioned as he closed the space between us. I could smell his aftershave and feel his breath on me.

“What the fuck do you mean?” My defense mode went up again. I needed be strong or I would break.

“You know what I mean. Brian and his stupid rules that you follow. When did you become weak?”

“It’s called a relationship for a reason. Sometimes you have to give and take, but you would know nothing about it. Plus, it’s none of your effing business.”

“It’s like you’re two different people. It’s like you are the perfect little Stepford wife with Brian and with me you show me who you really are.” He took my hands in his. I felt a surge go through my body. “You can only fool people for so long. Where’s the feisty girl who didn’t take anyone’s crap?”

“She’s gone. Now I think you need to leave.” I said sharply and pulled away from him.

“You need to make up your mind. I’ll always love and want you, but I’m not going to waiting forever.” With that AJ left and I was standing all alone and lonely.

Leah’s Point of View

“Brian, Nick called while you were out and he’s pissed you went golfing without him.” I told Brian as he walked into the office.

“What’s new about that?” He leaned in and kissed me cheek. “How was your afternoon?”

“Boring. Everyone was having fun, so I went over things for the ball.” I commented. I was kind of down.

“Is Eden home yet?”

“No, she texted me saying thy grandmas were taking her to the movies. You know she has them wrapped around her finger.” I smiled  pretending not to feel left out. “Where’s your dad?”

“Watching the news.” He pulled me up close to him. “You know we have some time to be alone.”

His mouth moved to mine. The kiss went from light and hard in an instant. Brian hand’s moved to my waist and he pulled me closer to his hardness. I broke the kiss and backed away.

“What’s wrong Lee?”

“Brian this is not the time or place to be doing this. Your dad is in the living room and everyone will be back soon.” I looked at him. What was he thinking? He was never this frisky when company was here.

“Baby, I want you so bad. How about a quickie? No one will ever know.” He begged.

“Brian, no.” I stated firmly as I moved away from him.

“Ever since you slept with AJ it’s been like this.” He said between gritted teeth. I knew he was mad, but I didn’t care.

“That’s not true and you know it. I really don’t think it’s appropriate for us to be having sex when your dad is all alone watching television.” I snapped. I was starting to feel sick again. I took a deep breath hoping it would go away.

“Whatever Leah. It’s always about you?” His voice grew louder.

“Brian would you just shut up. I don’t think everyone needs to hear us arguing.” I sat down because I suddenly felt dizzy.

“Whatever. You were fine until AJ showed up.”

“Here we go again.” I couldn’t say anything at the moment. I was trying to catch my breath. Brian didn’t even notice. After a few seconds I was able to breathe normally. “This has nothing to do with him. I wish you wouldn’t use him as an excuse.”

“I’m just stating the obvious. I’ll be going with my parents when they Eden for the week. You are more than welcome to come.” He sat down on the desk in front of me.

“Thanks, but I have to work. I can’t take off after the ball.” I really didn’t want to go spend time with anyone. My mood had turned permanently sour in the past couple of days. I want to do nothing but sleep and ignore the world.

--------------------------------

I lay in bed wide awake even though I was exhausted. Brian was snoring softly beside me. He got his way and we made love, then he promptly fell asleep like he always did. Sometimes he was like an old man. Brian was set in his ways. I try to think of him be spontaneous and crazy, but all I do is laugh. He is not that kind of guy.

I couldn’t take it any longer. Sleep wasn’t going to happening any time soon. I gently pulled off the cover, so not to wake Brian. That really wasn’t possible, he slept like a bear. I found my nightgown and put it on. Then I made my way downstairs.

Jackie was in the kitchen making tea. I walked in and grabbed a tin of cookies from the pantry.

“You couldn’t sleep either.” I sat down at the island.

“No. I think it’s because Eden made me drink a venti Java Chip Frappuccino.” Jackie laughed.

“That girl and her Starbucks. I’m sure she had enough coffee to keep her going for days.”

“I wish I had a fourth of her energy. She’s becoming a wonderful young lady. So mature and beautiful.”

“Thanks. She gets her energetic tendencies from AJ. I claim the intelligence.”

“How are things with her and AJ? I know Brian’s mentioned that they weren’t getting along on tour.”

“Things seem to being going good with them since the tour ended. She seems really happy when she’s with him. It makes me happy.” I smiled. All I wanted was for Eden to be a healthy, happy well-adjusted teenager.

“When are you and my son going to give me some grandbabies?” Her question threw me for a loop. I thought she knew that Brian wasn’t able to have kids. I needed to come up with an answer quick.

“We’ve both been so busy with our careers and probably after the wedding we may start trying.” I yawned pretending to be tired. “I think I’m going to head back to bed. See you in the morning.”

I practically bolted up the stairs to my room. I was curious to know why Brian had never said anything to his parents about being sterile. When I entered the room Brian was coming out of the bathroom.

“Where did you go?”

“I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs.”

“Ahh babe, I missed you being beside me.” He gave me a hug before getting into bed.

“I’m sure you did. I had an interesting conversation with you mom just now.” I sat down next to him.

“Really, about what?” His eyes were closed and he was barely listening to me.

“She asked me when we were going to have kids. Brian, I had to lie to your mother.” I said slightly confused and upset. Brian turned on the light and sat up.

“Say what?” He looked at me, clearly not understanding anything I had told him.

“Your mom asked when we are going to have a baby.”

“Oh.”

“Is that all you can say?” I raised my voice.

“I guess so. What’s the big deal?” He shrugged. I was ready to smack him with a pillow. When did he become so stupid?

“The big deal is you’ve lying to everyone for the past four years. I’m sorry you can’t get me pregnant, but lying to your family is just wrong.”

“I guess I’m wrong then. All the guys in my family can produce a baby and I can’t. It’s embarrassing. I’m a defect.” He yelled.

We heard a knock on the door. “Is everything okay?”

“We’re fine mom. Just go to bed. We’ll see you in the morning.” Brian called out to his mom.

“Okay. Good night.”

 “Damn it Leah, she could have heard us. You and your big mouth.” He glared at me.

“My big mouth. You are yelling just as loud as I am.”

“Bitch.”

“Coward.”

“Do you always have to have the last word?”

“No. That’s reserved to the Almighty Saintly King Brian.” I bellowed. “He always gets his way because he is always right. Be sure to bow down to him.”

“This is ridiculous. Can’t we just get along? I’m so tired of fighting with you.”

“I agree Brian, but you got to tell you family. You know it doesn’t bother me and I love you. You’re parents are going to wonder when we choose adoption over having our own kid.” I explained hoping he would realize that no matter what they were going to find out.

“It’s personal. I know you try to understand but it’s a pride thing, and I’m not ready to tell anyone yet. You don’t have to agree with my decision, but you need to honor it.”

“Fine. I don’t care anymore. The next time she asks, I’m going to tell her to talk to you.” I turned off the light and got comfortable in bed.

I hoped that Brian and I could start to get back to the way things used to be. I was drained from all these arguments we were having. Things used to be easy for us, now it was like we were falling apart. It was scary that we had so many years without drama. Now our relationship was a soap opera. I prayed that things would be better in the morning.

AJ’s Point of View

I was sitting of the balcony of my hotel smoking. It was bittersweet being in Atlanta. I was excited to be spending time with Eden and my mom. Eden was excited about attending her first ball. On the other hand it killed me seeing Leah with Brian. She didn’t seem happy and something was off with her.

I rubbed my face with my hand. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get Leah out of my mind. It was like a sickness with me. Maybe I needed to get on with my life. She had shown me time and again that I was the not man she wanted. It came down to I didn’t want to move on, and I didn’t want to love another woman. I wanted Leah.

“Good morning Alex.” My mom came out and sat with me.

“Hey mom.” I said dejectedly. My heart wasn’t into being cheerful.

“Alex, what’s eating at you? You haven’t been acting like yourself since we got here?” My mom looked concerned. She probably thought I had fallen off the bandwagon. The only drug I craved was Leah.

“I’m fine mom.” I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to her about this. Besides Howie, I hadn’t told anyone my feelings.

“AJ, I’m not going to push you, but does this have anything to do with Leah?”

“What makes you say that?” I didn’t look at her because my face said it all.

“I saw how you were looking at her yesterday. You still love her don’t you?” My mom turned my face with her hand.  She smiled at me.

“More than I did when I wanted to marry her.”

“What happened between the two of you? I could never understand it. One day you’re telling me you’re going to propose and then a few weeks later you broke up.”

“Leah was cheating on me. I was upset so I never even said anything to her. After that things blew up. I started drinking and doing drugs to forget the pain. She got pissed off and dumped me. That hurt the most because she took Eden away from me.”

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you ever tell me?” Denise could see the pain in her son’s eyes. She was sad for him.

“Mom, I don’t know. Everything got messed up. I ended up in rehab and Leah moved as far away from me as possible. I was angry about everything.”

“But she’s marrying Brian.”

“I know that mom.”  I started playing with my shirt. “I can’t help that I love her. I would give anything to have her and Eden back in my life for good.”

“From all our talks she seems to really love Brian. You can’t just break them up because you want her.” Denise tried to reason with her son. She loved him dearly and didn’t like to see him hurting, but realistically Leah wasn’t going to leave Brian for him.

“No kidding.” I stood up and was ready to go back inside. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Alex wait.” My mom called out. I walked away.

------------------------------

“Dad, I’m glad you could come.” Eden yelled happily from the pool.  She decided have an impromptu pool party.

“Hi Mr. McLean!” Her friends waved at me. I waved back as I went and sat down at the patio table.

“Hi AJ.” Brian acknowledged me. I was surprised at first, but I realized he was in Backstreet mode because of Eden’s friends.

“Rok.”  

We both sat there in silence. I didn’t want to talk to him, and he didn’t want to talk to me. It was awkward, something I never expected to happen with our friendship.

“So what have you and Eden been doing in L.A.?”  I could tell that Brian wanted to make sure that everyone thought we were the best of friends. Eden’s friends weren’t even paying attention to us.

I decided to be the nice guy and answer his question. “We’ve been hanging out at home and going to some amusement parks. Eden’s taking surfing lessons.”

 “Yeah and you haven’t visited me yet.” Nick joined us at the table. I was still pissed at him for the way he treated Leah.

I let Frick and Frack do all the talking. I attempted to tune out their conversation about sports. Instead I watched Eden and her friends have fun. Leah joined us at the table, but I didn’t talk to her either. I chose to watch her behind my sunglasses.

“You sure are quiet today.” Nick commented.

“Don’t have much to say.” I responded. “I’m here because my daughter invited me, and I would do anything for her.”

“It’s about time.” Brian commented. Leah gave him a look.

“Whatever, man. Mind your own business.”

“I think it is my business. I spend nine months out of the year with her.” Brian commented arrogantly. He had a lot of nerve.

“I’m still her father, regardless of how much time she spends with you.” I had to bite my tongue before I said something I shouldn’t. Brian was a pompous ass. Things were starting to go well with Eden. We were getting along and my daughter was opening up to me. I didn’t want him or anyone else to ruin the bond that was forming between us.

“When you choose to be.”

“Guys this is not the time or place.” Leah warned.

“Dad, come here!” Yelled Eden. Both Brian and I got up. I took my sunglasses off and glowered at him. He gave me the same look. There was no way she was talking to him. They may have been close, but I was her dad.  Leah looked at both of us with her typical pissed off expression.

“Brian sit down.” He looked at her stunned. “AJ go see what she wants.”

I moved towards the pool to see what Eden wanted. Brian looked like he was ready flip out on Leah. This day wasn’t turning out how anyone expected. At least Eden was enjoying herself. When I got over to the pool, I noticed Brian and Leah were in a heated discussion. Even Nick moved away from the less than happy couple.

“What’s up?” I bent down to talk to her. She brought herself close to me like she was going to whisper something in my ear. The next thing I knew I was surrounded by water and a bunch of giggling teenage girls.

“Gotcha ya dad!” Eden laughed uncontrollably.

I swam over to her and picked her up. She screamed thinking I was going to dunk her. Instead I placed a kiss on her forehead and put her down. “I love you, Eden McLean.”

“Love you back.” Then she swam over to her friends.

I looked up to see Brian stomping towards the house. Leah was upset and was having trouble with her breathing. I climbed out of the pool and went over to her.

“Leah, are you okay?” I knelt down in front of her.

“I’m fine.” She said slowly, trying to catch her breath.

“You don’t look fine. Is it Brian?” She nodded her head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“NO!” She screamed. “Just leave me alone!”

Leah pushed be out of the way and ran towards the house. I didn’t take offense to her outburst because I knew she was upset. I don’t know what Brian said to her, but it must not have been good because I’ve never seen Leah this upset. I didn’t know what to do to make things better, but maybe I needed to stay away.

Leah’s Point of View

The day of the ball had finally arrived. I was excited even though I would spend more time working than actually enjoying the moment. This morning I took Eden to get her hair and nails done. This was a luxury for her because she only got her nails done for special occasions.

Eden looked absolutely beautiful all dolled up. Her long dark locks were curled and half were pulled up. She was wearing a baby pink strapless satin ball gown with exquisite spangle work with a fluffy skirt that was scattered with spangles. Eden looked like a princess.

I quickly finished getting ready. I was wearing a red strapless satin gown with beading from the bust to the waist. It had a hugging silhouette and a thigh high front slit. It was all me because I was not the type of woman to wear a poufy dress.

I walked into the living room where everyone was waiting for me and Eden.  I heard a low whistle as I walked over to greet everyone.

“Oh baby, you look absolutely stunning.” Brian walked over to me and placed a kiss on my cheek.  Then he whispered. “I wish I could undress you and make love to you right now.”

God, he was turning me on. It had been a few weeks since we had sex. I was ready to forget about the ball, but since I was in charge we would have to wait until later.

At that moment Eden glided into the living room. She was so excited, but she was being somewhat shy. It was her first real gown. Eden wasn’t my little girl anymore. She was growing up.

AJ walked over to her. “Sweetheart, you are so beautiful.” She blushed. Then everyone started to give her compliments. The girl was on cloud nine.

“The limo is here, so we need to get going.” I announced, not wanting to be late.

--------------------------

“Good evening and welcome to the fifth annual Piedmont Hospital Charity Ball. On behalf of the hospital we a grateful for the donors and their gifts, without their support we would truly not be able to give the great medical care we give. I hope that you enjoy this special evening. We will be starting with dinner in just a few moments. Afterwards we have special performance from a group of men that are near and dear to my heart, the Backstreet Boys. That will be followed by dancing until the wee hours of the night. Once, again thank you for attending and have a fantastic night.” I stepped away from the microphone to the sound of applause.

Swiftly I made my way to the table. I realized that I was stuck sitting between Brian and AJ. Was someone trying to play a cruel joke on me?  Everyone at my table was busy talking that they didn’t even notice that I was back. My table was filled with the Littrell’s and McLean’s. Nick and Howie were at the next table.

“You did an excellent job on your speech, baby.” Brian gave me a quick peck on the lips. He was being very touchy feely with me tonight. I don’t know if he meant it or was putting on a show for everyone.

To say the dinner was uneventful would be a lie, but no one but me knew what was going on. AJ had conveniently decided his hand should be attached to my bare thigh that was showing because of my slit. I can’t lie and say it didn’t feel good because he had me feeling hot. On the other side of me Brian was whispering in my ear every few minutes what he wanted to do to me with me when we got home. My body was reacting to both men. I could feel myself getting warm in places I couldn’t talk about with the company at my table. If they only knew what was going on. I was glad I was able to keep a straight face.

When dessert was almost over, my boss Michael Sinclair came over to the table. “Leah, you’ve done a wonderful job again this year. Everything is running smoothly. We’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes for the guys to perform.”

“Sounds good. I’ll round them up and send them warm up.”

“Brian, I just want to tell you how lucky you are to being marry this woman. She’s the best. You make a lovely couple.”  AJ was watching and rolled his eyes. I knew he hated hearing anything about my relationship with Brian.

“Thank you. She’s a gem.” He wrapped his arms around my waist.

“AJ do you want to get Nick and Howie and meet us in the room next door?”

“Sure.”

Brian and I made our way to the other room. Figuring we had a few minutes to spare, I pushed him against the wall.  My lips devoured his. I was so horny I would have taken him there if I could. His hands were on my ass and mine were in his hair.

“Lee, what was that for?” He said breathlessly.  I smiled at him.

“Because I love you and I’m very, very horny. I can’t wait to go home and have my way with you.” I sucked on his bottom lip for a few seconds. “It’s been so long and I want you bad. I can’t believe that way you were talking to me at dinner.”

“Oh God Leah.” He moaned.

“Get a room. This is no place to be getting it on.” Nick teased as he entered the room. AJ refused to look at us. I couldn’t blame him.

I backed away from Brian. “I’m sorry you’re not getting any Nick, but you can’t ruin it for everyone else.” I retorted with a smile.

“I’m willing if you are, sexy. We can get a room after our set is over.” He smirked at me. Damn Nick was hot, and he knew it.

“As much as I would love to, Nickers, I have plans to make love to a real man.” I smiled and walked away.

While the boys warmed up, I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. I need to cool myself off or I wouldn’t last the rest of the night.

“What’s going on with you and AJ?” Sadie, Howie’s wife asked.

“What do you mean?” I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. There were so many things between us. I needed her to clarify.

“At dinner. He practically had his hand on your unmentionables and you didn’t do anything.”

“Oh that.” I replied. I had no answer that I wanted to give her. Well, I would like to tell to leave me the fuck alone, but I was at work so I had to be polite. “His hands weren’t that close. It’s really none of your business.”

“Leah, you’re playing with fire. I know we aren’t best friends, but I care about you. You’re getting married soon, but you have something going on with AJ. It’s not healthy. Someone is going to get hurt in the long run. Most likely it’s going to be you. Can you live with yourself?”

Sadie had no right to say anything to me. She hardly knew about my past with AJ. If I wanted to be a bitch I could certainly mention her liaisons with Howie before they became a couple, but I was going to be the better person.

“Sadie this is not the time or place. Regardless of what you thought you saw, I’m one hundred percent in love with Brian.” With that I stepped out of the bathroom and made my way to the stage.

Leah’s Point of View

While the guys performed, I sat with my daughter enjoying a few minutes of peace. Eden was all into the performance really taking the time to watch her dad.

“Mom, they’re doing an awesome job tonight. Dad is really rockin’ it with the dance moves.” She smiled at me.

“You just realized that?” I asked.

“Kind of. I never really paid much attention to what he did on stage. I usually ignored him and watched Nick and Brian.” She said sheepishly. “I feel bad about it now.”

“E, it’s okay to feel bad, but move on. I can see that things have changed with you and your dad. That makes me happy.” It was nice seeing them get along. Both seemed so much happier.

“Yeah, your journal helped with that. I could see how much you loved him. What happened?” She asked curiously. I didn’t know what to say to her. Our break up was a mess. At fourteen she really didn’t need to know.

“Eden, life got in the way. Tonight is about fun; let’s not ruin it with that.”

“Fine mom, but someday I’ll get it out of you.”

We both continued to watch the guys. I was lost in my thoughts. What if everything had turned out differently? Maybe if I was with AJ, we would have gotten married and had more kids. I couldn’t even come up with an exact reason why things fell apart. We just started fighting over little things and then they became bigger things. AJ started drinking, and I turned away from him until one day is was over between us.

“On behalf of Piedmont Hospital and Leah Foster thank you for giving us the opportunity to sing for all of you.” Howie addressed the crowd.

“We would also like to present the hospital with a check for ten thousand dollars.” Nick handed the check to the Chief of Staff.

I made my way up to the stage. I had a few announcements before the dancing could begin.

“Thank you guys for the amazing performance. Before we start to dance I would like to announce the winner of the Caribbean Cruise. It is Molly Abernathy. Congrats. This year’s charity ball has been more successful than any other year. We have raised 1.2 million dollars. Without you none of this would be possible. Though there is still time to spend a little more money. Be sure to check out the Chinese auction in the hallway outside ballroom. You still have an hour before it closes down. Now, go enjoy some dancing.”

“Lee, you did a wonderful job. I’m so proud of you. Would you like to dance?”

“Of course.” Brian took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

As we danced I looked around the room. AJ was dancing with Eden. She had the biggest smile on her face. Howie was dancing with his wife, who wouldn’t stop watching my every move. Brian’s parents were dancing and Nick was dancing with Denise. Everyone seemed happy.

“Leah, I’m sorry if things between us have been weird. This whole AJ situation threw me for a loop.” Brian apologized.

“You had every right to be upset with me. What I did was wrong. I can’t believe you still want to be with me after that.” I commented quietly.

“Leah, you’re the only one who gets me. You are the only one that knows the shit Leighanne put me through. I just needed time to get over it. I can’t wait until the wedding.”

“Me, neither. The honeymoon will be even better.” I smiled at him. He brought his face closer to mine and his lips were only an inch from mine. Then he kissed me slowly. It was a kissed filled with passion and want. It left me speechless.

The song ended and we broke apart. Eden came over to see us.

“Brian would you like to dance?”  She smiled at him.

“Of course. You are the most beautiful young lady here tonight.”

I walked away smiling. Things were getting back to normal in my life. I was glad for that. Everyone seemed to have an understanding going on. I headed toward the restrooms. I think I spent half the night there, but such it life I guess. I only had a glass of wine and some water.

AJ was walking out of the men’s room and bumped into me. He looked into my eyes and I felt that energy I did whenever I was near him.

“Sorry, L-bug. I didn’t know you were standing there. Are you okay?”

“I’m…I’m fine.” Why was I having trouble getting the words out?

“I just wanted to tell you how gorgeous you look tonight.” His fingertip ran down my arm. I willed my body to not react, but it betrayed me. He wasn’t wearing sunglasses so I could see the desire in his eyes. I needed to make a conscience effort to stay away from his advances.

“Thank you. I enjoyed watching you dance with Eden. She’s really enjoying her summer with you.” Our daughter was a safe topic. It was always easy to talk about her.

“I’m enjoying it, too. She’s a great girl. Thank you for giving me the time with her. I’m going to make more of an effort when the summer is over.”

“I think that is awesome.” I truly did. Eden needed her father.

“I’m planning on moving to Atlanta. In fact I was looking at houses earlier today.”

“That’s great.” I groaned inwardly. Brian was going to throw a shit fit. AJ would be around all the time. I was happy for Eden, but it sucked for me. “Have you told Eden yet?”

“No, I want it to be a surprise. While she’s on vacation with the Littrell’s, I’m going to look at a few more houses.” He seemed genuinely happy to being staying in Georgia.

“That is great AJ.” I attempted to be enthusiastic. Every time things started going good someone threw a wrench in it. I should keep the focus on Eden and not me. She deserved to have her dad ten minutes away versus on the other side of the country. “I better get back before someone thinks I’m missing.”

I made my way back to the ballroom. Brian and Eden were still dancing. They looked cute together.

“Hey Fiesty!”

“Nick, stop calling me that.” I smacked his arm.

“But baby, it turns me on when you’re feisty.” He took me arm and starting rubbing my hand.

“Nick, go to hell. You and your lines don’t work for me. There’s plenty of single woman to bother. Why me?” I loved Nick dearly, but he never gave up.

“I just love flirting with you. You don’t fall for my bullshit. I find it refreshing.” He smiled at me as Brian and Eden walked over. “Edy, would you like to dance?”

“Sure Nick.” She squealed excitedly. Brian and I exchanged a look. I think my daughter was crushing on Nick Carter. I would have to have a talk with her about that. 

They moved to the dance floor. Brian and I stood there watching.

“Leah do you know that you are positively glowing tonight? There is something about you tonight, that I just can’t place, but I’m loving it.”

“Thank you Brian. Let’s dance.” We made our way to the dance floor. I was having a great time. At this point nothing could bring me down.

AJ’s Point of View

After Leah left, I went outside to get some fresh air to clear my mind. Tonight was hard for me. Leah was absolutely fucking gorgeous. I wanted her in my arms so bad. At dinner I probably shouldn’t have done what I did, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch her. She didn’t stop me, so I assume that she enjoyed it.

I lit a cigarette and leaned against the hotel wall. It was nice to get away from it all for a few minutes. Watching Brian and Leah be all hugs and kisses was enough to make me sick. I knew I stood no chance with Leah. She clearly loved Brian. Once again, I was going to step back and let Leah be happy. For my own sanity I had to let go.

It was time to focus on Eden. I had made so many mistakes with her. The issues with her on tour made me realize that I needed to take the time with her. I loved my daughter more than life itself. The actions I took when we got back to L.A. really helped. Eden was talking to me; tell me all kinds of things about herself. She was intelligent, caring, sweet, and had a heart of gold.  I couldn’t wait to surprise her with the news that I was moving closer to her.

“J, what are you doing out here?”

“I just needed some air, D” I flicked my cigarette on the ground and grounded into the pavement.

“She looked gorgeous tonight. Did you tell her how you feel?”

“She was breathtaking.” I composed my thoughts. “I haven’t gotten to talk to her for more than five minutes since I’ve been here. When would I have the time to tell her something that important? Plus look how happy she is with Brian.”

“You owe it to yourself to tell her. She may say go to hell or she may realize she still loves you. J, it’s eating you up. You have to get it out, so that you are able to move on.”

“She’s not in love with me. Leah’s proven it many times. There’s no point in even telling her. My focus needs to be on Eden. That’s what really matters.” I told Howie, who looked at me like I was crazy.

“Eden definitely is definitely a priority. I think you’re afraid that Leah will feel the same way.” Howie countered. I think he was trying to piss me off.

“Why would I be afraid?”

“If Leah feels the same way it’s going to cause a lot of pain for a lot of people. As much as you dislike Brian, you don’t want to see him lose everything. J, you know exactly how he would feel if his world came crashing down. You’ve been there.” Howie hit the nail on the head. It was scary but he put my feelings into words I couldn’t. Do I hurt myself by not telling Leah the truth? Would it be fair to for me to hurt so many people so that I could be happy? Howie’s point was well taken, but it still left me unsettled.

“Damn it, Howie. So, I’m stuck either way.”

“No. It’s Leah’s a choice in the end, but she’s got to know that she has a choice.”

“But they are getting married.” I groaned in frustration.

“Take it from me. I was ready to ask a woman I didn’t love to marry me because I didn’t want to hurt her or her family. I was trying to be honorable and do the right thing. Now we are both happy with the way things turned out.” Howie lowered his voice as Nick walked out with some blonde chick. “There’s just something about the way Leah looks at you. She doesn’t look at Brian that way. I think you should tell her. I better go find Sadie.”

I was glad that I had someone on my side. It made it a little easier if I decided to go through with telling Leah. I was sitting on the fence about what to do.

I made my way into the hotel. I flash of red caught my eye. I looked down the hall. Brian had Leah pinned against the wall. His hands were all over her body and their lips were connected. Seeing them like that made my decision easier. I knew I had a snowball’s chance in hell with Leah.

I walked towards the ballroom. Eden was dancing with a boy and was all smiles. It made me want to cringe. My little girl wasn’t little anymore. I sat down next to my mom and watched.

“Is everything okay?” She placed an arm around my shoulder.

“Everything is fine. Who’s Eden dancing with?” I wouldn’t look at my mom. She would see right through my words.

“I’m not sure, but she seemed excited when he asked her to dance.”

I was praying that it wasn’t that punk Xavier. This boy looked closer to her age. He was blonde and tall. Shit, he was like a younger version of Nick. I didn’t like that. I think it was a good thing that I was moving to Atlanta. I would be able to keep all these boys away from my daughter.

“Did you decide if you are going to move to Atlanta?” My mom asked.

“Yes, I’m going to stay and look at houses while Eden is on vacation.”

“Is she the only reason you are moving here?”

I looked at my mom. “Yes, I love Leah, but she’s marrying Brian. My focus is Eden.”

“I’m glad you are working on things with Eden. You can’t convince me that you don’t love Leah.”

“Yes, mom. I love Leah.” I sighed. “I always have and always will.”

Eden walked over. Thank goodness because I was tired of talking about Leah. I was going to respect her wishes of marrying Brian.

“So who was that boy?” I asked curiously. Eden smiled as her face grew red.

“That’s Keegan.”

“How do you know Keegan who doesn’t have a last name?” My mom gave me a small smack. I just wanted to know about this boy.

“His name is Keegan Stephenson. We go to school together.  He was in my history and science class.” She gushed.

“I think someone has a crush.” I teased my daughter. Her face got even redder.

“Daddy.” She shrieked. “He’s just a friend. I mean sure he’s cute in that Nick Carter sort of way, but we’re just friends.

“Oh so you think Nick Carter is cute?” I couldn’t help teasing her. Eden and Nick were close since she was a baby.

“Dad every girl in America has a crush on Nick. Duh!” My mom snickered. I rolled my eyes at her.

“As long as this Keegan doesn’t act like Carter, I’m okay with him.”

“Daddy.” She shakes her head at me. “We’re just friends. There’s no romantic connection even when he kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” I questioned all dad like.

“Just once. It was like kissing Midnight.” I loved how she compared the kiss to getting a kiss from her dog.

“I love you, Eden.” I pulled her into my arms for a hug.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Leah’s Point of View

Everyone was coming over for brunch today. I was busy preparing for all the hungry mouths. The quiches were in the oven. The muffins were cooling off on the counter. Now I was in the process of making a gigantic fruit salad.

Brian walked into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Good morning Lee. Last night was wonderful.” He sat down at the island.

“It certainly was. I missed that.” I continued cutting up strawberries.

“I think we should go away for a weekend when I get back.” He stole a grape.

“That sounds great. I think you should get dressed before our friends arrive.” I looked at him in his boxers.

“I thought you liked this look” He gave me his best cheeky smile. He put his cup in the sink.

“I do when we’re alone. Now go get dressed.”

After Brian left, I got busy again with my hostess duties. I took the plates, cups, and silverware outside. It was a gorgeous sunny day. I was looking forward to spending time with my friends.

“Mom, have you seen my black Converse’s?” Eden yelled out the window.

“Why are you yelling out the window?” I called up to her. “You’re going to wake the neighbors.”

“Mom, its ten thirty on a Sunday everyone but us heathens is at church.” I shook my head at my daughter. I was definitely seeing AJ’s personality coming out of her.

“Check your closet or under the bed.”

“Thanks mom!” She closed the window.

-----------------------------

“Everything looks delicious.” Jackie complimented.

“Thank you. I love cooking.” I sat down next to Brian. He was chowing down on his food, but squeezed my hand.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Howie and Sadie were feeding their kids. AJ was sitting next to his mom and Eden. Denise and Jackie were talking. Nick looked like he had a long night. I’m sure that was because he left the ball with one of my co-workers. Brian and his dad were talking about golf. It was nice to seeing everyone happy.

I looked at my food. It looked unappetizing to me. I was hungry, so I decided to eat it anyway. It was weird because food never bothered me before. I was going to chalk it up to the little bit of champagne I had the night before. Drinking was never my thing. I only did it occasionally. I put a forkful of quiche to my mouth. All of a sudden the smell made me sick and my stomach started to churn. I put my fork down and decided to stick with fruit.

“Are you okay?” Brian looked at me with concern.

“I’m fine. My stomach is just a little bit queasy today.” I smiled to assure him I was fine, when I was really feeling like crap. I decided to eat some fruit. Maybe that would settle my stomach. I took a bite watermelon. It was cold and tasted yummy. So I continued to eat more.

“Mom, can you give dad the recipe for the red velvet cheesecake you make? Eden asked.

The thought of red velvet anything made me want to gag. I pushed my chair back and ran toward the house. I made it to the bathroom just in time. I hunched over the toilet spilling my guts when someone came in.

“Sweetheart are you alright?” Brian kneeled down next to me.

I leaned against his body trying to calm down. I hated being sick. I felt sweaty and my mouth tasted nasty. I had no energy to move let alone talk. Brian rubbed my arm comforting me. I didn’t feel comforted. Tears dropped from my eyes. A panic attack was coming on.  I could feel my chest tightening up and I couldn’t breathe. I willed myself to relax.

“Lee what’s wrong?” The look on Brian’s face show worry and love.

I took a few breaths and the anxiety started to go away. “I’m fine, Bri. I think I’ve been overdoing it with the ball. I just need time to relax.”

“Are you sure?” He brushed the hair off my forehead. “I can stay here you instead of spending the week with my parents.”

“I’ll be fine. I have the week off. I’m just going to relax and read.” I looked at him. He was staring at me with such love. “Go have fun with Eden and your parents.”

“Are you sure? You can always come with us.”

“Nah. I just want a week to myself.”

“I understand. You feel any better?”

“Actually I am.” I wasn’t feeling nauseous at all. “Let me brush my teeth and we can go back outside.”

After I finished brushing my teeth, we made our way back to the backyard. Everyone was watching our moves. Jackie had a smile on her face. I knew what she was thinking. It saddened me that she had the hopes of being a grandma, knowing that Brian couldn’t even tell her the truth. There wasn’t a chance in hell that I was pregnant.

“Is everything okay?” Denise asked me.

“I’m fine. I think it’s just all the stress I’ve been under, but I’m okay.” I assured everyone.

“That is good. I hate to leave, but my flight leaves at four. AJ’s going to drive me to the airport.” She gave me a hug. “It was great spending time with you. I miss you Leah. You’re like a daughter to me.”

“Denise, I love you. You have to visit more often.” I hugged her back. Denise was truly the mom I never had. In the beginning we didn’t get along as well as we did now. There were times I actually hated her, but it was because she cared about me and my well-being. Once I became a mother I understood what she was doing.

AJ walked over to me after saying goodbye to Eden. He didn’t pull me into a hug or anything because Brian was standing next to me.

“I just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful food. These past few days were awesome.” His eyes bore into mine. I had to look away for a minute. “Rok, it’s been like old times. See you after the break.”

With that AJ and his mom left.

------------------

After everyone left, I settled on the couch with a movie. The house was quiet and I was enjoying it. A soft rain was falling outside. Within minutes I was fast asleep. Apparently I didn’t realize how tired I was.

When I woke up it was dark. I looked at the clock it was nine o’clock. I sat up and stretched. My stomach growled telling me that I was famished. I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I found some waffles and decided to add some whipped cream and strawberries to them. As I was putting them in the toaster the doorbell rang. I quickly walked to the front door. Who would be visiting me at this time of night? I opened the door.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” I gawked at him. He was wet from head to toe. Damn he looked fine.

I wondered what he wanted. How long had he been standing in the rain? I backed away from the door to let him in.

“We need to talk.” He brushed against me as he moved past me. My body reacted in ways I didn’t expect or want it to. I was in trouble.

AJ’s Point of View

I entered the living room, but couldn’t sit down. I was soaking wet from the rain. It took me almost two hours before I knocked on the door. I didn’t notice the rain until my clothes were stuck to my body.

Leah walked in looking expressionless. I could tell she wasn’t thrilled with me being here. Tonight was do or die for me. It was going to be the last time I articulated that I was in love with her. She was either going to choose me or stay with Brian. I finally worked up the courage to tell her.

“What do you want AJ?” She asked in a tired voice. Leah looked exhausted and her hair was sticking up in places.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Fine. I need to eat my dinner. So if you want to talk follow me.” I followed her into the kitchen.

Leah made her waffles and sat down at the island where I was sitting. My body was shaking and it wasn’t because I was wet. I got nervous but never to this extent. I knew that after tonight my whole life would be changing. Some people would think I was weak, to let one woman determine the rest of my life, but she was my life.

I sat and watched her eat. It was so sensual, and she didn’t know it. The way she licked the whipped cream off her lips got me hard. Her eyes were on her food as she devoured it.

“Leah, are you okay? I’ve never seen you eat like this.”

She looked at me and set her fork down. Slowly she chewed the food that was in her mouth. When she finished she got a glass from the cupboard and poured herself some milk. Then she downed half the glass.

“I’m fine. I’m hungry. What’s the look for?”

“Nothing.” I dropped the subject.

“So you came here to talk. Talk.”

“Leah, I need you to hear me out before you say anything. I don’t want to fight with you until I’m able to say everything to you. “

“Fine. Go on.”

Damn, I hadn’t even said anything to her yet and she was pissed. Because it was me, she didn’t think I was serious about talking to her. Everything was going great with Brian so she could care less about me or anyone else.

“Leah, we’ve known each other for a long time. I remember when we met in that hotel in Germany. I fell in love with you in the elevator when you said hello.” I looked at my hands and smiled at the memory. “When I left Germany I never thought I would see you again. When I saw you at my house I couldn’t believe it.”

We looked at each other at the same time. She was not looking very happy. “Why are we reliving this J?”

“I need to explain myself.” I touched her hand. She pulled back.

“What do you need to explain to me?” Leah got up and took her dishes to the sink.  I quickly moved behind her. It was now or never.”

“I’m still in love with you.” I breathed into her ear. Her body trembled against mine. She slowly turned around and we were barely inches apart. She looked at me with hunger in her eyes. I’m sure mine looked exactly the same.

“You are?”

“Haven’t you been listening to me? I don’t know how many times I need to tell you.”  I groaned in frustration. Did she not listen to me?

“What do you want me to do? I’m getting married in three months.”

“I want you to be with me. Leave Brian. He doesn’t love you like I do.”  I told her. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but it’s what she needed to do.

“How can you say that?” She barely got the words out.

“The way he treats he isn’t right. You shouldn’t be with a man that controls you. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and lessened the space between us.

“He treats me just fine. We have a stable relationship based on give and take.” She replied as she tried to get away from me.

“But you’re always giving and he’s always taking what he wants from you. He’s manipulated you all these years and you don’t realize it.” I moved my mouth to her neck.

“Go to hell. You don’t…” She tilted her head back to give me more access. “Mmmm….Age.”

I slowly sucked on her neck. Her hands moved to my ass. She slowly started squeezing it. “Lee that’s feels so good.”

“We can’t do this.” She stopped but kept her hands on my ass. I ignored her and picked her up. I set her on the counter.

“There’s no one to stop us.” I smiled slyly at her as I started to unbutton her shirt.

“I can’t do this again, AJ. I promised Brian.” She said with her eyes closed. Leah couldn’t even look me in the eye when she said it. She was losing her resolve.

“If he wasn’t around, what would you want?” I threw her shirt on the floor. My hand was tracing the outline of her bra.

“I’d want you to make love to me all night long.” Leah purred in my ear. It was exactly what I wanted to hear.

After that I didn’t hold back. My lips crushed hers with as much passion I could show her. It was all about pleasuring her tonight.  Gently I sucked on her bottom lips. Being the sexy woman she was, she slipped her tongue in my mouth. Our tongues battled for a few minutes before we broke part.

Leah wrapped her legs around my waist. I pulled her off the counter. I couldn’t wait any longer. My body needed to be one with hers. I placed her on the kitchen floor. Slowly I took off her clothes. “Damn L-bug, you’re so gorgeous.” I commented as I stared at her body.

“Thank you.  Now get your clothes off and make love to me.” She sighed.

I quickly followed Leah’s directions. I hope that I wasn’t making a big mistake by making love to her before I told her how I really felt about her. I wanted to do things the right way, but my body always reacted to her.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”  I asked lovingly. I wanted her to be sure. She answered me by pulling me on top of her. Her mouth met mine. We were in such need of each other that we just got down to business.

Our need for each other was more than either could take, it didn’t take either of us long to reach our peaks. We both clung to each other for a few minutes while we caught our breaths. Then I rolled off of Leah.

“L-bug that was amazing.” I stroked her face.

“AJ, what are we doing?” Leah asked seriously.

“Do you want the truth?”

“AJ, I need the truth.”

“I’ve been telling you the truth. I love you and want to be with you, Leah.” I swallowed hard. “You’re the one not being honest with me. You keep telling me you love Brian, but here you are making love to me. Leah, you can’t have both of us.”

“Damn you, why do you put this on me now? I think you purposely put me in this spot, so I pick you.” I knew she was ticked at herself, but it was easier to place the blame on me.

“That’s not true, Leah. I’m not putting you on the spot. I’m laying it all on the line this time. My heart can’t take it. Either you want to be with me or you don’t. I can’t decide for you, but if things don’t work out with Brian don’t come looking for me.” I told her. This was my final chance with her. If she didn’t choose me I was done. It would fucking hurt like hell, but I needed to move on before my life was over.

“I can’t choose. I love you and Brian.” She cried. Hastily she got up and grabbed her clothes. Without another glance at me she ran out of the kitchen.

I was left alone, but it didn’t matter to me. Leah had admitted that she loved me. It was a step in the right direction. I had the proof I needed. Now all I had to do was make Leah mine. I felt giddy with joy. I put my clothes on and went to find her.

AJ’s Point of View

I heard the slamming of a door. I knew which way I was going. Leah was hiding in her bedroom. I knocked on the door.

“Go away!”

“Leah let me in. I want to talk to you.” I told her through the door.

“I don’t want to listen to anything you got to say.” She yelled. Leah was upset and her temper was coming out.

“I’m going to talk anyways. I want you to listen to everything I have to say.” I hesitated and sat on the floor. “Leah from the beginning loving you has never been easy. We started off a relationship with you being pregnant. That was a lot to take in and all we did was fight.  It took time for us to love one another, but I know I loved you that first day in elevator. Something about you just captured my heart.”

“J, were not having this conversation. I don’t want to take a walk down memory lane. I’m living in the present and so should you.”

“Leah, I’m trying to explain something to you, so shut up.” I was getting angry. “Finally things started working between us. We were getting along and almost a family. I was happy. Leah, I had a ring and was ready to propose to you. I wanted you as my wife.”

“What?” She opened the door and I fell backward into the room. “When the hell was this?”

“It was around the time you decide to fuck Nick?”  She stared at me with her brown eyes. “Yes, I knew all along what was going on.”

Leah looked unsure about the whole situation. Years ago, hell a month ago I was pissed about it. Now, I was ready to move on. What was done was done. I couldn’t change the past, I could only move on to the future.

“AJ, I’m so sorry.” Guilt was layered all over her face. “I never meant for it to happen. It was the one of the biggest mistakes in my life I was so screwed up back then.”

“It’s all in the past. I’m over it.” I walked over to her.

“No, do you know how much therapy I went through to get my shit together Age? “ I shook my head. “Everything was going good for us. I was scared because it was to perfect. Nothing in my life was ever perfect. That frightened me. My own parents thought I was a screw up, so why change. So, when the opportunity arose I took it.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about it?”

“AJ, from the beginning our relationship was based on sex.  I didn’t know any better than to let sex define who I was. The only time I had a feeling of worth was when I was fucking someone. How horrible was that?” Tears were falling down Leah’s face.

“Aww, Leah. I loved you for more than that. We always had so much fun together. I didn’t love you just because we had sex. It was so much more.  I loved when we would just sit on the porch and talk about whatever we were thinking about.” It saddened me to think that she saw herself as an object of lust instead of the beautiful person she was.

“I got scared realizing that you actually loved me. I’m not saying that I was justified in sleeping with Nick, but at the time that’s what was going on in my head.” She walked over to the window. It was dark outside. “Then we started fighting and it was easier to just fight instead of work things out.”

“I was so pissed, but I was just as bad because I wouldn’t confront you about it. I pretended like it never happened because I didn’t want to lose you. I started drinking to forget all the pain I was feeling.” I explained to her. We both needed to know the truth. I stepped behind her and placed my arms around her.

“What a bunch of fuckups we were. When I left you I end up going to counseling for sex addiction. It helped me realize that sex wasn’t the answer to my problems. Hell, I’m still seeing my therapist twice a week.” She turned around and searched my eyes.

“I feel better getting all of this off my chest. I’m sure you do, too.”

“It makes me understand our relationship better.”

“Do you think things would have been different if we were honest with each other back then?” I needed to know. Telling each other the truth only made me love her more. It helped me understand some of what happened in the past.

“Maybe. I can’t play the what if game. Things happen in our life for a reason. Maybe we aren’t supposed to be together. Maybe our goal was to have Eden so she can make a difference in the world.” She moved away from me and sat on the bed.

“How can you love me and Brian?” I needed to know. It was eating me up inside.

“Age, I never feel out of love with you. That’s why I stayed away from you all these years. One look from you and I knew I would be back under your spell. This summer has proven that I’m hooked on you. AJ, you just do something to me.”

“What about Brian?” I needed to know what to do to breakthrough past Brian. I didn’t get what she saw in him. They were so different from each other.

“Brian is sweet, caring and kind despite the shit Leighanne put him through. None of you know the full truth, but she was an evil manipulative bitch. What I did to you was nothing compare to what she did to Brian.”

“Why wouldn’t he tell us?”

“He was ashamed. She raked him through the coals. When Brian and I started dating it was different from what I had with you. You were wild, spontaneous, and free spirited. Brian was safe, comfortable and consistent. At that time it my life that was what I was craving. I wanted to predictable life. It was good for Eden to have things be stable.”

I didn’t like the fact that she wanted the very opposite of myself.  I had matured since then. Sure I was all those things she said, but I was also sensitive, romantic, dependable, and so much more. I had settled down a lot from my partying days. I had to show her I was the kind of man she wanted.    

“What do you want now?” I kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

“I want the best of both worlds.” She was shaking. “I know that’s impossible. I can’t have you both. No matter what I’m going to hurt one of the men I love.”

“Leah, you have to think about whom you see yourself with for the rest of your life. I know it’s not easy. Give me this week to show you how much I love you. I’ve changed for the better and I want you to see that. If you don’t like what you see, then you can pick Brian. Just give me a chance.” I kissed her hand.

“I’ll give you a chance.” She smiled at me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Leah’s Point of View

After AJ and I had our heartfelt talk I was exhausted and went to bed. AJ snuggled with me and I had the most peaceful sleep. Having him next to me was just what I needed. Was it bad of me to not think about Brian? I was so focused on the here and now.

The sunlight shining in the window woke me up. I looked at the clock. It was still early. I wasn’t feeling like myself today. My body was achy and my mind was cloudy. I decided to chalk it up to the emotions of the night before. I didn’t want to leave the bed, but I needed to use the bathroom.

I padded my way to the bathroom. My hair was sticking up in different directions. My skin was pale and I was feeling clammy. I didn’t know what was wrong with me anymore. My heart started beating faster and my chest tightened. I slowly breathed in and then out, forcing myself to calm down. It wasn’t working. I slowly made my way to the floor. I placed my head between my knees. I stayed in that positions for what seemed like forever. Then the nausea hit, and I wanted to gag. Like a turtle, I crawled over to the toilet. I attempted to vomit, but all I did was dry heave.

“Leah are you okay?” AJ walked in rubbing his face. I didn’t want to wake him, but I guess I did. I shook my head and placed my face in my hands. There was no way AJ could see me like this.

“I..I…c..c..can…hard…ly…br…eathe.” I managed to get out.

AJ sat next to me and started rubbing my back. “Calm down sweetheart. Everything is okay.” He continued to help me relax. His voice soothed me enough to slow down my heartbeat and my chest started to relax. The queasy feeling in my stomach worsened.

This time I didn’t make it over the toilet. I puked all over myself and AJ, which promptly caused me to shed tears.

“L-bug, it’s okay. Let’s get us in the shower.” He slowly undressed us.

The warm water was heavenly on my body. I was weak and leaned against the shower wall. AJ washed me off. Then he turned the water off and wrapped me in a fluffy towel and carried me back to bed.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked me tenderly.

“Somewhat. I still feel a little edgy, but my stomach is better.” I mumbled. “I’m sorry I got sick all over you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m more concerned about you.” He said as he dried me off.  AJ didn’t know it but he was turning me to mush with his gentleness. “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling this way since I came for the ball.”

“Yeah, I think it’s just the stress of everything. I’m fine AJ. I just need a day to rest.” I attempted to calm his fears. It was just the stress of having to choose between AJ and Brian. I didn’t want to tell him that because it was easier to handle it on my own.

“If you say so.” He sighed.  I knew he cared, but this wasn’t a big deal. I was just stressed

“J, I know you’re concerned, but it’s just stress. I’m fine, but I’ll be better if you cuddle with me.” I smiled at him as I threw the towel on the chair next to the bed.

---------------------------------

AJ and I spent the rest of the morning cuddling in bed. We had just finished watching a movie. I was feeling frisky. I straddled AJ’s lap and caught him by surprise.

“What do I owe this pleasure?” He kissed my nose.

“I just want you so bad.” I nuzzled his neck with my head.

“L-bug, you know exactly what I want. What do you plan on doing to me?” AJ nipped my ear.

“I plan on making you scream my name over and over.” I raked my nails down his chest. I loved that we were both already naked.

“I want to hear you scream my name.” He kissed me slowly on the lips. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why haven’t you ever called me Alex?” His eyes were on me. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t.

“As much I love you, I’ve always held part of myself back. It’s because I was afraid to let that part of me go. It let me be in control on my own terms.” AJ wiped the tears from my face. “There were so many times I wanted to call you by your real name, but I chickened out.”

“I want you to give me all of you. The parts you’ve shared and all that you hidden. I’m not going to hurt you.” My lips met his in a kissed filled with love. Was I ready to give all of myself to AJ? He made it all sound so simple. AJ was always romantic and caring, but this new found tenderness rocked me to my core.

I lightly pushed him into the sheets. Our lips were attached as our tongues shared a moment. My hands wrapped around his neck. Our kisses became slow and steady. We were taking our time like we were trying to memorize the feel of each other’s lips. At this point I was ready to take that final step with AJ. I knew there was no going back after this.

Slowly AJ flipped me over and entered me. We took it slow, feeling every movement and shudder our bodies were making. It was different from anything I had ever experienced with AJ. We were becoming one mind, body, and soul.

AJ and I looked into each other’s eyes. The love penetrating from his eyes was more than I ever expected from him at this point in my life.

“I love you Leah Marie Foster.” His mouth was on mine.

He was pushing me to the edge of pleasure. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Alex….mmmm….Alex!” I moaned in pleasure.

We both hit our release at the same time. AJ collapsed on me and we stayed like that for a while. I could feel his heart beating with mine. This moment was like nothing I had experienced. It sort of sounded cliché, but it was the truth. AJ had infiltrated my soul and I would never be the same. My face was damp and I realized I was crying. AJ rolled off of me, but we continued to hold onto each other; neither of us wanting to let go of the moment. When I looked up at AJ, I noticed his eyes were full of tears.

“Alex what is wrong?” I was worried because he never cried.

“You called me Alex.” He smiled at me.

“I’m letting go and want to love you with all of myself.” I snuggled closer to him.

“Do you mean it? You want to be with me?” He squeaked out.

“I do. I want to go to bed with you every night, and I wanted to wake up to your kiss.” I gave him a quick peck. “Now, enough with me being mushy.”

“I love you Leah.” AJ started kissing me and touching me in all the right places. “Let me love you again.” I nodded my head. I couldn’t get enough of him.

Leah’s Point of View

AJ was out looking at houses since he was moving to Atlanta. I still wasn’t feeling well, so I decided to go to the doctor. The panic attacks were scaring me. They would happen at random time. AJ was worried and forced me to go the doctor.

“Good afternoon Leah. How are you?” Dr. Ross asked.

“Not good. I’ve been having panic attacks for the last two weeks. My chest tightens, and I can barely breathe.”

“Are you having any other symptoms?”

“I’m nauseous a lot of the time, but mostly when I’m having the panic attacks.”

The doctor nodded as he wrote the information on my chart. “When was your last period?”

Usually I was on top of things, but with everything going on I had to think about it. When was my last period? The question kept going through my mind. I couldn’t come up with an answer. “Do you have a calendar I could look at?” I asked Dr. Ross frazzled.

He handed me the calendar and I flipped to the previous month and did some calculations. No, that couldn’t be right. I did the math again and again. “Dr. Ross my period was due last week, but I haven’t gotten it yet. Could stress do that?”

“Stress can definitely cause your periods to stop, but I need more information before I can rule anything out.” Dr. Ross was always through when it came to anything. He wanted to be sure of his diagnosis. I wished he would just chalk this up to stress and send me on his way.  “Have you had unprotected sex anytime in the past few months?”

“Yes.” I said slowly. Shit, AJ and I didn’t use a condom any time we had sex. I wasn’t on birth control because of Brian. Why was I so stupid?

“Well I’m going to get some blood work done to check your levels. I don’t want to rule out anything like pregnancy or illness. After the nurse is done taking your blood, I’ll be back with some relaxation techniques.”

----------------------------

“L-bug is everything okay? You seem kind of quiet tonight?”

I kissed him on the cheek and smiled at him. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“You want to go to bed?” AJ asked as he wrapped his arms around me. I was enjoying being in his embrace.

“It’s not even eight thirty.” I giggled. “I’ll be up at the crack of dawn if I go to bed now.”

“Well, we can always go cuddle.” He wiggled his eyes at me. “Anyway are you really ok? You’ve seemed off since you got back from the doctor’s.”

“I’m fine. He just gave me some relaxation techniques and took some blood. I’m fine Alex.” I said testily. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk. I didn’t want to discuss what went on at my doctor’s visit. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of being pregnant.

“Sorry I’m just concerned.” He scooted away from me.

“I know you are. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just tired and feel stressed.” I was ready to go to bed and ignore the world.

“Talk to me. What’s bothering you?”

“I feel like crap, and I can’t relax. I have to find a way to tell Brian. He’s not going to react well.”

“I’m sorry Leah. Is there anything I can do to make it better for you?” AJ said sincerely. He was so aware of my every thought and feeling.

“Just be there to support me. I have to be the one to tell Brian. I just don’t want to hurt him more than I have to.” Brian had always been good to me. He deserved better than what I could give him. I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him.

“I here for you no matter what happens. I won’t let Brian treat you horribly.” He placed at kiss on my head. “If Brian loves you as much as you say, he’ll accept it. He may not like it but he’ll let you go.”

“If only it were that simple.” I nuzzled into his body. AJ gave me a sense of comfort that no one else did. I couldn’t explain it, but I never wanted to leave his embrace.

“I know it’s hard, but the best things in life are worth the fight.”

“You’re right. I can’t believe that we are back together.” Really I didn’t ever see myself back with AJ. I kept my distance for a reason.

“Why is that?” He started playing with my shirt. I loved how touchy feely AJ was with me.

“Because I hid that part of my heart from the world. I never stopped loving you. For my own sanity I needed to get it together and figure out how to be my own person.” I rubbed his thigh. I needed to be as close to him as possible. “Being on tour brought out all the feelings I had hidden. At first I wanted to deny it. I had Brian and thought I was happy with him. When we were alone I forgot everything existed.”

AJ’s mouth was on mine before I could say anything else. His tongue was parting my lips. Our tongue moved at a feverish pace. AJ gently pushed me back onto the couch. He placed his body on top of mine.

“I’m going love you forever and ever. I’m going to please you in every way possible and do it again and again.” He crushed his lips to mine. AJ’s hands were on my hips as he grinded himself against me. We weren’t even having sex and I was close to the edge.

I grabbed the top of his wife beater and ripped it off his chest. “Oops. Did I do that?” I batted my eyes at him. Then I raked my nails down his chest. When I got to his belly button, I traced his sixty-nine tattoo.

“Damn woman, I’m going to explode in my pants if you don’t stop. I’d rather explode in you.”

“Then you better undress us. I want you exploding in me over and over.” I moaned in his ear.

Within two minutes we were undressed. AJ spread my legs apart and situated himself between them. His mouth moved from my breasts to my mouth as he entered me.

“Leah, keep your eyes opened the whole time. I want to see what you’re feeling the whole time I’m inside you.” He pushed inside me again and again. I followed his command. There was something to be said for looking into your lovers eyes the whole time you’re making love. My senses were heightened.

The look in AJ’s eyes was one of pure unconditional love. Mine were showing the same thing.

“A…A…lll…eee..xxx. Oh god.” My body started to shudder with him inside me.

“Keep looking at me.” He demanded.

Within in a minute we were in pure ecstasy. I had never experienced anything like that in my life.  I waited for my breath to slow down before I spoke.

“Oh fuck, Alex. That was sooo amazing.”

He kissed my sweaty head. “I know L-bug. I’ve wanted to make love to you like that for so long. I had it planned for us to do it that way when we got engaged.”

“Have you ever done it like that with anyone else?” I asked quietly.

“No. There’s no one worth me giving my soul to. I love you, Leah.” He played with my damp hair.

“I love you Alexander James McLean.” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Are you feeling any better?” He smiled at me.

“I feel better than I have in a long time.” I snuggled up to him. I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I knew that being with AJ was the right thing.

Leah’s Point of View

The week was quickly coming to an end for AJ and I. It was Thursday; Eden and Brian would be back on Saturday. I was mentally preparing myself for breaking things off with Brian. It wasn’t going to be easy. Brian was a wonderful man and I didn’t want to hurt him, but I needed to be with AJ.

“Good morning.” AJ stirred next to me. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost noon.” I rubbed his arm. He sat up against the headboard.

“I can’t believe you let us sleep this long?”

“Well considering we didn’t get to bed until after five, I thought I would let you sleep.” I gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I figured we could spend the day in bed together.

“That sounds like a perfect idea. Later we can get Chinese and eat it bed.”

“Sounds like the perfect day. Tell me something I don’t know about you.” I asked. There were so many things I didn’t know about AJ. It was time to relearn him.

AJ thought for a moment before he answered me. “I wrote the song Drive By Love about how I fell in love with you.”

“Really?” I said in shock.

“Have you ever listened to that song?” He asked me seriously. If he only knew how much I listened to his cd.

“I’ve heard it a few times.” I smiled at him.

“When I met you, I didn’t think it was more than a one time thing. After I left Germany all I could think of was you. You literally threw me on my ass. I tried to put you out of my mind but I couldn’t.”  He rolled on top of me. “Then you came to Florida, I was happy to see you. That’s when I realized I was in love with you and it screwed with my head.”

“Why is that?” I looked him in the eyes.

“I was eighteen and knew there was no other woman for me. That was scary, especially when everyone was telling me that I was too young to settle down.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Alex.” I reached up and kissed his nose, then his cheeks, and finally his mouth. “I fell in love with you that first time we made love in Germany. I know I was only fifteen, but there was something about me and you together.”

“That was the best day of my life.” AJ moved down my body. His hands were on my hips. His lips were on my breasts. He made me feel good. My womanhood was hot and wet for him.

“Alex, I need you in me.” I moaned.

“All in time baby. I want to taste every inch of your body.” He looked me in the eye. “Then I want to taste you again. This is all about you baby.”

That only made me want him inside me even more. No one made love to me that way Alex did. He just knew how to make my body quake and my insides tremble.

I got lost in the moment. All I could feel was the pleasure he was giving me. I could stay like this forever.

“What the fuck?” I heard Eden scream. What was she doing home? I pushed Alex off me and sat up. Eden had run from the room.

“Shit.” I groaned.

“Damn, I thought they weren’t coming home until the weekend.” AJ commented.

“Shit, this isn’t good.” I stood up and found my panties and robe. Quickly I got dressed. “Stay here. Let me go talk to her. I’m sure Brian is downstairs with his family. They don’t need to take this out on you.”

“Are you sure? You don’t deserve to be attacked. This was both of our decisions.”

“I’m positive. Just be here for me when I get back.” I gave him a fast kiss and made my way downstairs.

I could hear Eden slamming around in the kitchen. I composed myself before I walked into the room. Hopefully I was mentally prepared for this.

“Eden.”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” She yelled at me.

“I know you may be mad at me, but you need to watch your language.”

“Mom, just leave me alone. I hate you at the moment.” She spat at me as she slammed the cupboard shut.

“I understand that you’re mad. You have every right to be mad.” I sat down at the island since I was starting to feel nauseous.

“MOM, HOW COULD YOU?” My daughter glared at me. How do you explain to a fourteen year old that you cheated? I never thought this would be a conversation I would be having. The only choice I had was to be honest.

“Is everything okay in here?” Brian asked bringing the luggage into the house.

“Not really. Why are you back so early?” I asked quietly.

“It rained for the last three days and my mom sprained her ankle.” Brian smiled at me.

“Oh.”

“I’m surprised you’re not up and dressed for the day.” He walked over and gave me a kiss. My heart was breaking. I was unsure what Eden was going to do. The look on her face told me she was going to let everything out in the open.

“That’s because she’s too busy fucking dad to get dressed.” Then she ran out of the kitchen.

“What’s going on? Brian backed away from me.

“Brian, I love you a lot.” I spit out and stopped. I wasn’t able to get the rest of the words out.

“But?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just tell me the truth Leah.” He said stoically.

“I love you, but I’m in love with Alex.” Tears fell from my face.

“Did you invite him here after we left?”

“No, Brian. He came over and we talked about everything.” I attempted to explain.

“So, he’s been here all week fucking you in our bed.” Brian made fists with his hands. He was angry and had every right to be.

“I’m sorry Brian.” I apologized. I meant it. I never would intentionally hurt him.

“I can’t believe you would do this. I can’t believe our daughter caught you fucking him in our bed.”

“Brian Littrell, I’m sorry that Eden saw what she did. It wasn’t like it was some strange guy in my bed. It was her father.” My voice rose. “I know you’re pissed and you have every right to be, but stop acting like Alex is some random guy.”

Just then the phone rang. Brian quickly picked it up. He handed me the phone. “It’s Dr. Ross’ office.”

“Hello. Yes. Okay. I will do that. Yes, you can send the prescription to Walgreens. Thanks.” I placed the phone on the counter.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” I brushed him off. I was still trying to comprehend the news from the doctor’s office. It really didn’t surprise me that I was pregnant. Alex and I had never used protection on the tour. It was going to be one more blow to Brian.

“Then why do you need a prescription?” He asked with kindness. Tears started to fall from my eyes again.

“Brian, not to be mean but this doesn’t concern you. I’m fine.”

He looked my body up and down. His glance landed on my stomach. I knew he was putting the pieces together. “You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry Brian.” My tears turned into bawling. I didn’t know what to do or what to feel. I was more confused than ever.

“I need to get out of here.” He brushed past me and slammed the door on his way out.

I pushed my body down on the floor and continued to cry. My heart was breaking at the moment. I needed to be alone and cry things out.

AJ’s Point of View

After an hour past and Leah didn’t come back upstairs I started to worry. I heard Eden’s door slam so I know that things weren’t going well. I slipped on some shorts and went downstairs. I found Leah sitting on the floor in the kitchen crying.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” I slid down next to her. I pulled her close to me.

“Not really. I didn’t want it to happen like this.” Tears started falling down her face.

“Tell me what happened?”

“Brian came in and Eden told him that she caught us in bed. Then she ran off.”  A panic attack started and Leah took her time trying to catch her breath. “J, can you get me a glass of water.”

I stood up and quickly grabbed a bottle of water and her anti-anxiety pills. “Here you go.”

She took the water but not the pills. Leah took a sip and did some breathing exercises. I was concerned that she wasn’t taking her medicine. I knew that it would help her calm down.

“Leah, you need to take you medicine.” I sat next to her. She looked at me like I had three heads.

“I can’t.” She continued doing her breathing exercises. I started rubbing her back. I didn’t understand why she couldn’t take her medicine.

“Leah, what’s wrong baby? Why can’t you take your medicine?”

“Don’t hate me Alex?” She turned to face me.

“I could never hate you.” Leah was beginning to worry me more. I wanted to know what was wrong.

“I’m pregnant.”

I looked at Leah. She looked so sad. This was the third happiest moment in my life. The first moment was meeting Leah and second was Eden. I was excited about being a dad.

I moved closer to Leah and slowly kissed her on the lips. Then I realized that maybe I wasn’t the father. Maybe it was Brian’s.  “Leah, am I the father?”

“Yes.” She leaned against me. I could see the she was emotionally drained. “Brian’s sterile.”

“L-bug, I’m so excited. I’m going to be a dad again!” I squeezed her close to me and placed a kiss on her head.

“You’re happy?” She asked in shock.

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t plan on it happening.” Leah stood up.

“When have we ever planned anything?” I stood next to her. “Are you happy about this?”

She thought for a moment before she responded. That had me a little worried. I wanted things to work for us. The pregnancy only added joy to the love I was feeling.

“I haven’t really had a chance to think about it. I just got the results and having Brian find out wasn’t pleasant.” She paused as she moved closer to me. Leah cupped my face. “Alex, I’m happy to be having your baby.”

Our lips met in a frenzy of love. My hands moved to her stomach. I couldn’t believe I was going to be a dad again.

“Don’t you two ever stop?” Eden huffed as she came into the kitchen. “I can’t believe the both of you. I’m so pissed right now.”

“That’s enough Eden Jamieson. You will not talk to your mom and me like that again.”

“Oooh trying to be the big bad dad.” She laughed in my face. “This is all your fault. You ruined everything once again. Can’t you let anyone be happy?”

“Eden, I’m not going to apologize for loving your mother. I know you’re upset.”

“Yeah, dad, I’m more than upset. I’m fucking pissed as hell. Mom had a good thing going with Brian. Now you have her slutting around. I hate you. I hate mom.” She glared at me with a hatred I had never seen before.

“That is enough Eden. You are not to talk to adults like that, especially us. There are a lot of things you know nothing about. This is an adult situation. I’m sorry you caught us, but we are adults. You can be upset, but you need to step away from the situation and let us handle it.” Leah stated to our daughter.

“You two are perfect for each other. Dad’s nothing but an asshole and you are a slut.” Eden commented with hatred. I understood that she was angry, but I had never seen her act like this. Leah was holding in tears that were threatening to spill. They always got along, so I know that Leah was hurt by Eden’s actions.

“I never want to hear you call your mother names. Go to your room.” I pointed toward the upstairs. “You’re grounded indefinitely.”

“I’ll gladly go. I can’t even look at the two of you.” She stomped out of the kitchen.

Leah was crying again. This was not good for her or the baby. I picked her up and carried her upstairs. I gently put her on the bed and lay beside her. She was wrapped in my arms.

“Lee baby, I’m sorry that Eden said what she did. You know it’s not true. She’s just angry.”

“Alex, she is right. I am a slut. Some things never change.”

“Leah Marie Foster, you are not a slut. Eden has no clue about what is going on. She’s a fourteen year old girl.” I attempted to comfort her. I didn’t know if I was doing a good job or not. As I rubbed her back I could feel her body start to relax.

-------------------------------------

Eden’s Point of View

As soon as I got to my room I grabbed my cell phone and dialed. I needed to talk to someone.

“Hello Edy!” Nick said cheerfully.

“Nick everything is fucked up.” I started to cry.

“Calm down, Edy. What happened?” Nick asked trying to get me to settle down. I wanted to throw things. I was so pissed.

“I caught my mom in bed with dad.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly. I can’t believe that mom would cheat on Brian. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.” I wiped my tears with my sweatshirt.

“Eden, don’t get mad when I say this.” Nick hesitated. “I can hear how upset you are, but this is between your mom, dad and Brian. A lot of this is going to affect you, but for now you got to let them handle it.”

“But, Nick. I’m already in a heap of trouble. I called my mom a slut.” I was feeling bad about doing it, but there was no way I was going to apologize. My parents were ruining everything.

“I know you don’t mean that. Your mom is a good woman.” Nick was trying to help Eden feel better. “You’re just upset. Give it some time. Sometimes adults do stupid things.”

“But I thought my mom loved Brian. I just don’t understand.”

“Edy, I’m thirty one years old, and I still don’t get the whole love thing. It’s complicated. I’m sure your mom loves Brian, but I think she also loves your dad.”

“How can you be in love with two people?” This whole love thing had me confused. Hopefully Nick could explain it to me since he’s had so many relationships.

“Brian and your dad are so different. Each one has something special that your mom loves.” Nick commented.

“Nick have you ever been in love with more than one person?” I whispered into the phone. I was curious about love and relationships.

“Luckily, I haven’t. That’s not to say that I’ve never liked more than one woman at a time.” He chuckled.

“So, that’s why everyone calls you a womanizer?” I teased him. Nick was so easy to pick on.

“Hey, now. There’s no need to pick on me. Who’s calling me a womanizer?” He squeaked. I laughed at him. Nick always had a way of making me feel better.

“Umm…everyone!” I laughed.

“Well, I’m glad that makes you laugh. So, what about your love life?” He questioned. It was almost like he was flirting with me. Nah, that couldn’t be it. He was a grown man and I was just a teenybopper.

“I don’t have a love life. My parents won’t let me date.” I rolled my eyes.

“That didn’t stop you before.”

“I’m trying to be mature and wait until my parents allow me to date.”

“That means you’ll have your first date when you’re forty.” He chuckled.

“You are so funny, Nick. Thanks for making me feel better. I better go before I get into more trouble.” I said shyly.

“Anytime Edy. If you need to talk don’t hesitate to call me. Bye, honey.” I heard his phone click off.  Nick was the sweetest guy. I did feel better talking to him. I placed my phone on the nightstand and closed my eyes to forget about it all. My thoughts were on Nick instead.

Leah’s Point of View

When I woke up, AJ wasn’t next to me. It made me feel alone. I needed him by my side in order to stay strong. Life was only going to get harder. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I had no choice. It was time to face my demons and move on with the life I wanted to live.

I got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. My body was achy so I decided to take a bubble bath. Once the water was ready I eased myself into the tub. My body started to relax, but my mind was working overtime.

“Leah, where are you?”  I heard AJ call from the bedroom.

“I’m in the bathroom.”

A minute later AJ walked into the bathroom. I could see that he was in a bad mood. Something told me that I wasn’t going to be thrilled with what he was going to say.

“Brian’s downstairs. He wants to talk to you.” He sat on the side of the tub. “You don’t have to talk to him. I can go tell him to fuck off.”

“That’s okay. I would rather get things over with and move on. Tell Brian I will be down in about ten minutes.” I smiled at AJ. He was my future. “I want to be with you.”

“I love you, L-bug. See you in a few.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and left.

------------------

Brian was sitting on the couch looking dejected. My heart was breaking for him. I slowly walked down the stairs.

“Brian.” I got his attention as I sat down. He looked at me but didn’t say anything. “AJ said you wanted to talk.”

“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell that he was nervous. “Why?”

“I didn’t set out to hurt you Brian. I do care about you.”

“I just want to know why.” He shifted uncomfortably.

I composed myself before I spoke. “Deep down I never fell out of love with AJ. I channeled that love into hatred. That’s why I stayed away from him all these years. When I came on tour all those feelings resurfaced.”

“Did you ever love me?” He looked at me with disgust. I couldn’t blame him.

“Yes. Brian you came into my life at time when I was ready to move on with my life. You taught me how to love again. I still care about you, Bri.” I moved next to him. My hand went to his face. Slowly he backed away.

“Don’t.” He stated harshly.

“I didn’t plan on this happening.” Tears started to fall. Damn the pregnancy hormones for turning me into a human fountain. “It wouldn’t be fair to either of us if we stayed together. We would end up hating each other and I don’t want that. I had given up on love until you taught me what love was.”

“And look where it got me.” He laughed bitterly. “I never thought you would be the one to screw me over. After what Leighanne did to me, I didn’t think you be such a cold hearted bitch.”

“I never set out to hurt you intentionally. Brian, you have been such an important person in my life. I’ll always have a place for you in my heart.”

“But why AJ?”

“The heart what the heart wants. I need to be with him. If you truly love me, then you’ll let me go.”

“What about my heart? Did you even care to think about my feelings?” He asked bitterly.

“Brian, since the tour I thought about it more than you’ll ever know. Please don’t make me out to be a cold-hearted bitch. Never in my wildest dreams did I plan on this happening. I took your feelings in consideration because deep down I don’t think you’re in love with me either.” I finally put the thoughts I was feeling out in the open.

“How can you say that?” He stared at me with a perplexed look.

“Oh, Brian.” I scooted near him. “Don’t take it that way, please. I know that we both loved each other, but to say we were in love with each other would be a lie. We both settled when it came to love.” I hated making him feel like shit, but I needed to honest.

“How dare you?” He said spitefully. “I’ve given you everything.”

“You’ve been good to me. I won’t deny that.”

“Then what does AJ have that I don’t.”

How could I tell him without crushing his heart more than I already was? This was killing me. Brian deserved to be loved by someone who could him with all his heart.

“Brian, please don’t make me go there.” I pleaded with him. “You taught me how to love again. I know you can do so much better than me. You deserve a woman who thinks you make the stars twinkle just for her.”

“I thought I found her, but I guess I was wrong.” He frowned at me.

“Brian, don’t.  I already feel guilty enough; you just want me to hurt more.”

“You’re damn right. I want you to feel as bad as I do right now.”  He stared at the carpet. He wasn’t able to look me.

“Fine, Brian. You want to know what AJ has that you don’t, I’ll tell you. He accepts me for who I am faults and all. He doesn’t control me. I am allowed to be myself. AJ understands my screw ups. He gets me better than I get myself.”

Brian sat quietly for a few minutes. His face was unreadable. I was scared to know what he was thinking.

Brian cupped my face and moved closer to me. He kissed me and pressed his forehead to mine. “As much as I love you, I won’t stand in your way. It kills me to see you with him. ”

“Thank you Brian.”

“I just want to see you happy.” He stood up and walked out of the house. I sat on the couch my eyes brimming with tears.  AJ walked into the living room and sat beside me.

“Is everything okay?”  He asked in concern.

“Yes. No. I don’t really know.” I leaned against him. He put his arms around me and I was safe.

“How did Brian take it?”

“Not well, but that was to be expected.” I played with AJ’s shirt.

“I know I wouldn’t like it if you chose another man over me.”

“Can we stop talking about it?” My head was hurting. “We still need to talk to Eden.”

“I think we should give her until tomorrow. I don’t think either of us could handle her temper at the moment.” We both laughed. Eden had both of our tempers. She didn’t show it much, but when she did it was scary.

“That is probably a good idea. I can’t deal with her throwing another tantrum.  Do you think we should wait to tell her about the pregnancy?” I looked up at AJ. He kissed my forehead.

“I think that would be for the best.”

Before he knew it, I straddled AJ’s lap. Our lips met and crushed into each other. As his tongue entered my mouth, my hands moved under his shirt. I was so into AJ that I forgot about everything in my life. His hands cupped my ass causing me to grind into his hardening erection.

“Hmmphf.” Eden stomped past the couch and sat on the chair. “Can you please stop for two freaking minutes?”

I got off of AJ’s lap and sat down next to him. “Eden…”

“Just stop mom. I’m stilled pissed and don’t feel like discussing anything with you or dad.  Can you both just cool it when I’m around? I can’t stand to see you that way.”

“We’ll cool it off in front of you, but you have to treat us with respect at all times.” AJ told his daughter.

“Fine.” She flipped on the television and ignored us. I hoped that things would get better, but I had a feeling they would only get worse.

Leah’s Point of view

I entered Eden’s room. She was peacefully sleeping. She looked like an angel.  I couldn’t believe my baby was growing up. Before I knew it she would be dating and going to college. I prayed every night that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes I did. Knowing Eden, she would do just fine with not screwing thing up. She had a good head on her shoulders.

Last night AJ and I discussed that it might be better if I talked to Eden myself.  It wasn’t that AJ didn’t want to participate because it was my idea. Eden wasn’t used to the double parenting from us, and I wanted to have a woman to woman chat with her. There were things I wanted to tell her that I didn’t want to in front of AJ.

“Mom.” She yawned. “What are you doing in here?”

“I was watching you sleep.” I smiled at her.

“You haven’t done that since I was like ten.”

“I know and I missed it.”

“Right now I wish you would leave me alone.” Eden commented and rolled over so she couldn’t look at me.

“I know you’re mad at me, but we need to talk.”

“I’m beyond mad. I don’t want to talk to you or dad. You both disgust me.” She hissed and threw the covers over her head.

“Eden, I wish you would give me a chance to explain. This isn’t easy for me or your dad.” I stated calmly.  I wish she would act like the daughter I knew and loved. I sometimes forgot she was just a teenager.

“Leave me alone.” She yelled from under her comforter.

Yet again, I was going to reason with my fourteen year old. Hopefully I would have better luck this time. She needed to hear me out. “Can you please take the covers off you head and talk to me like the mature fourteen year old you are?”

“No.” Her voice answered with attitude.

I saw her cell phone sitting on the nightstand. I pulled mine out of my pocket and dialed her number. Her phone rang once, then twice. Slowly she pulled the covers off and grabbed her phone. When she did this I pulled her comforter off the bed. She looked at the number and threw her phone across the room. It broke into pieces.

“That was low. I hate you.”

“Eden, you need to hear me out.” I moved onto the bed next to her.

“Fine. Don’t think it will change how I feel.” She leaned against the headboard.

“Someday you’re going to find the man of your dreams. He’s going to sweep you off your feet and that is all you will care about…”

“What does this have to do with you being a cheating slut?” I gave her a look of disappointment, but didn’t say anything.

“Let me finish. I let you read my journal thinking it would help you understand the relationship I had with your dad.”

“Yeah, all I got from it was that you were obsessed with dad, had a lot of sex and got knocked up. I can’t believe you were so stupid to not use protection.” Eden remarked rudely.

“Then you wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have to have this conversation. Life has a funny way of giving you lemons. Some people make lemonade, while other let the fruit rot. I chose to make lemonade.” I leaned back on the headboard next to her. “Many people thought it was a mistake to have a baby as a teen. It was hard, but looking back I would never trade you.”

“Mom what does this have to do with you screwing over Brian?”

“You really love Brian, don’t you?” I asked my daughter. Her devotion to him didn’t surprise me. Brian treated her like a princess.

“Mom, he was there for me when dad wasn’t around. He taught me about faith. Brian always made time for me.”

“Oh sweetheart, I know this is hard for you. This has nothing to do with you.” I attempted to comfort her.

“Mom, I love dad. Things have gotten better with him. Brian is like a second dad to me. He’s watched me grow up. Now I won’t have a relationship with him. That saddens me.” Eden confided. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Eden, just because Brian and I are no longer together doesn’t mean your relationship with him has to end. I think he’ll love you like a daughter no matter what. He can still be a part of your life.” I gave her a hug. She held on to me tightly. “Are you willing to listen to me now?”

Eden nodded her head at me as she wiped the tears off her face.

“Your dad and I have always had a volatile relationship. It was always full of passion. We could love each other one minute and hate each other the next.” I smiled thinking back to our many fights. “Things happened that caused us to break up. I still loved your dad after that. I pretend to hate him all these years, but deep down I always loved him.”

“What about Brian? If you loved dad so much, why were you with Brian?” Eden asked snippily.

“Brian came into my life when I thought I was ready to love again. I love Brian, but not in the same way I love your dad. He gave me the courage to love.”

“Mom, I don’t think you know what you want.” Eden got off the bed and picked up her broken phone. It was easier for her to avoid what she didn’t want to hear.

“Eden, life isn’t as easy as you make it out to be. Things get in the way and it’s messy. I didn’t set out to hurt Brian. I’m not that kind of person. Would you rather I be unhappy?” I questioned. My daughter wasn’t the easiest to talk to when she had an idea stuck in her head. I blame her father for that stubbornness.

“Mom you were happy with Brian until you came on tour. I saw things start to change. I told Nick and he told me to mind my own business. I’m just a stupid little girl that doesn’t understand anything.” Her voice rose with each sentence.

“No one thinks you’re a little girl. Eden, I trust you and treat you like the mature young woman you are, but some things aren’t your business.” I explained. I knew she would explode after that observation. I was honest with her.

“Damn it. That’s what everyone always tells me. It’s not your business don’t worry about it”
 She dumped the pieces of her phone on the desk. “It’s my fucking business, too. I live in this house. I have to see you and dad screwing every chance you get. Everything I know is changing and  I fucking hate it. I hate you. I hate dad. I hate everything.” She yelled and carried on. Eden shoved the pile of books off her desk.

“Eden, you need to calm down. Destroying your room isn’t the answer. You can be upset, but things aren’t going to change. Brian and I aren’t getting back together. Your dad and I love each other.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. My daughter was giving me a headache. “You need to stop the attitude. I don’t deserve to be treated that way. Neither does your father. You need to stop destroying stuff.”

“Whatever.” Eden leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. She was in full attitude mode. The teen years were going to be hell.

“As of now you’re ground for two weeks. If you want a new phone you’ll need to pay for it.”

“Go to hell!” She walked in her bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

I was in astonished by Eden’s behavior. I didn’t expect her to be thrilled, but she would have to learn to deal with it. AJ and I were together and it was going to be forever.

Leah’s Point of View

The past two weeks at my house was quiet due to the face that Eden wasn’t talking to me or AJ. It was starting to get on my nerves. I understood she was mad, but she needed to get over it.

AJ walked in and handed me the mail. I looked through the bills and catalogs; at the bottom on the pile was an envelope addressed to Eden. I placed it on the counter and opened the phone bill.

“J, why have you been calling Nick and talking to him for three hours every night? I don’t remember you getting out of bed.” I questioned. This was rather odd.

“What are you talking about?” He walked over and looked over my shoulder at the phone bill.

“There are five calls to Nick that lasted from one to three in the morning. I see there are a few from the afternoon, too.”

“L-bug it wasn’t me. I was in bed with you. Plus I could never hold a two hour phone conversation with him.” He sat down beside me. “There’s only one other person here.”

“Why would Eden be calling him?” I did not like the idea of my daughter talking to Nick every night.

Eden chose that minute to walk through the door. She gave us a passing glance and went to get a drink from the refrigerator.

“Eden you have a package.” AJ told her. She grabbed the envelope and quickly opened it. Eden pulled out a brand new cell phone.

“When did you order that?” I asked my daughter. She wasn’t allowed to use the computer or talk on the phone when she was grounded. Her laptop was currently in my bedroom, so she had no access to the internet.

“It’s a gift.” She picked up the phone and started to leave.

“Wait a minute. Who was nice enough to buy you a new phone?” AJ interrogated.

Eden leaned against the counter looking pissed. She knew she was in trouble yet again. I waited for her to answer but she didn’t say anything.

“You have two choices Eden. The first choice is to tell us and we talk about it. The second choice is we take the phone and you’re grounded for another two weeks.”

She thought about it for a few minutes. “Fine. Nick bought it for me.”

“Why would Nick buy you a phone? I didn’t even know that he talked to you.” I remarked. Eden was walking a fine line. She looked away. AJ was right about her late night calls.

“Umm…we’ve been talking on the phone.”

“Eden, you’re grounded which means you are not supposed to be talking on the phone.” I reminded her. She seemed to forget that she had to follow the rules.

“Mom, seeing how I have no one to talk to about my shitty life I called Nick a few times. I don’t see what the big deal is.” She got defensive. We couldn’t have a conversation without her attitude. If she kept this up the next few years were going to be hell.

“Eden go to your room. Your mom and I need to talk. We’ll be up in a bit to talk to you.” AJ instructed. Eden quickly made an exit.

“What are we going to do?” I asked AJ.

“She does make a point.” I gave him a look. “Leah, she’s pissed at us. It makes sense that she wants to talk to someone. I would worry if she held it all in.”

“Then why didn’t she call a friend.” I countered back.

“Do you really think this is something she wants to share with her friends? She embarrassed by us. Think back to when you were fourteen. There’s no way she wants to talk about her parents having sex.” Damn AJ for having common sense. He was able to understand Eden’s anger and hurt better than I could.

“No, but do we really want her talking to Nick?” I stood up and started pacing.

“He’s always been good with Eden. I don’t think he would he would steer her in the wrong direction.” 

“I think we need to talk to him. He shouldn’t have just bought her a phone without asking us.” I was pissed at Nick.

AJ dialed his number and put it on speaker phone. It rang couple of times before he picked up.

“Nick Carter speaking.”

“Hey Nick. What’s up man?” AJ replied smoothly. I was ready to pounce on Nick Carter.

“Why in the hell did you buy Eden a cell phone?” I yelled.

“Well hello, there Leah. How are you?”

“Don’t play cute with me. I want to know what’s going on.”

“Leah, baby calm down.” AJ whispered as he placed a hand on my stomach. I took a deep breath trying to get myself to relax.

“She told that her phone was broke and being the nice guy I am I ordered her a new one.”

“You could have asked us first.” I told him.

“Sorry. I will do that next time.”

“How long have you been talking?” AJ asked playing with his shirt.

“Since she caught you two together. Eden was upset and needed someone to talk to about it.”

“I hope you’re not telling her the wrong things.” I tried using my breathing techniques.

“Believe me I haven’t. I tell her every day that things happen for a reason and how she needs you both in her life. Is she talking to you yet?”

“A little, but not a real conversation. I’m glad Eden is talking to someone about her feelings. Thanks Nick.”

“You’re welcome.”

AJ pressed end and we sat there looking at each other. AJ seemed fine with Eden talking to Nick. I wasn’t so sure, but I was going to trust AJ’s instincts.

“So what should we do?” I asked him.

“I think we let her keep the phone and continue talking to Nick. I really don’t want to fight with her about everything. It’s not good for your health.” He moved closer to me. His hands were rubbing my belly. I moved close enough where I could snuggle against his chest.

“I think we need to set a few ground rules if we let her talk to Nick.”

“Like what?”

“Well she has to have at least one civil conversation with us each day and she can only have the phone when we permit her to.” I wanted to keep this situation under wraps. Nick was a good guy, but could charm the socks off of anyone. I didn’t want Eden getting hurt over Nick’s charm.

“That sounds good to me.” He kissed the top of my head. “Can we forget about that for a while and concentrate on us.” AJ smiled at me and I brought my mouth to his. His kisses never got old. Each kiss was new and different. Some were filled with lust and other with love. I was never happier than when I was in his arms.

AJ maneuvered me along the wall. He broke the space between us. I could his breath on my face and his heart beating against my chest. I licked my lips before his came crashing down on mine. I arched my back placing my breast on his chest.

“Damn Leah, I want you.”

“Alex, we’re in the kitchen. Eden could walk in at any time.” I giggled.

“Yes Eden can walk in at any time.” She mimicked. We broke apart. “Did you talk to Nick?”

Something about the way she said his name made me leery about these phone conversations. I think my daughter was developing a crush on Nick. I know there were tons on girls her age in love with him, but she actually knew him so to me it was different.

“Yes, we did.” AJ took an apple of the counter and took a big bite.

“We decided that you can talk to him, but you have to have at least one civil conversation with us. We’ll keep your phone when you aren’t talking to Nick.”

Eden thought about it for a few minutes. I could tell she was weighing the pros and cons. “I can handle that. Is it okay if I call him now?”

“Go ahead, sweetheart. Bring your phone down when you’re done.” AJ gave her permission.

Leah’s Point of View

“Good morning Eden.” I sipped my orange juice.

“Yeah.” She grabbed a bowl and a box of Cheerios.

“How are things with Nick?” I questioned my daughter. I was curious to see if she would share any information with me.

“Nick is fine. He’s got a new girlfriend.”

“What’s her name?” I inquired. I loved gossip even if I had to get it from a fourteen year old.

“Her name is Sarah Chambers.”

My stomach started doing flip flops. I was tired of the morning sickness. I placed my glass on the counter and ran to the bathroom. I made it just in time. After I was done being sick, I flushed the toilet and just sat on the floor trying to catch my breath.

“Mom are you okay?” Eden’s face was filled with worry. I looked up at her. She didn’t seem mad at me anymore, but I’m sure when she finds out about the baby that will change.

“Yes, sweetie. I’m fine.”

She sat down on the floor beside me. “You’ve been sick a while now. You got me worried.”

“Aren’t you still mad at me?” I breathed in and out, calming myself.

“Mom, I’m still upset, but maybe I was a little too harsh. It was shocking. I thought you and Brian were going to be together forever.” My daughter shared honestly.

“Three months ago I would have thought the same thing. I did love Brian, but it wasn’t the right kind of love.”

“Did you ever stop loving dad, like when you broke up?” Eden leaned against me.

“I loved your dad since the first time I met him. Even when I wasn’t with him, I loved him.”

“Mom, why is love so hard? I mean all I see is everyone hurting each other. I think love kind of sucks.”

“Love is the best and most wonderful thing.” AJ walked into the bathroom. “I wouldn’t trade it.”

“Dad, but look at all the bad things that happen. No one ever seems happy.” Eden questioned again.

“Baby girl, love is hard. Life gets in the way. It causes people to fight and say things they don’t mean. Love takes a lot of work.”  AJ explained as he squeezed my hand.

“I don’t want to fall in love.” Eden said seriously. “It’s not worth it.”

“When you find the man of your dreams, you’ll change your mind. You’ll be willing to fight for that love.” My heart was hurting for my little girl. It was disheartening that my teenager was jaded when it came to love.

“Well, I’m kind of glad that you won’t be dating ever. It makes my life so much easier.” AJ teased. 

“Dad.” Eden rolled her eyes. I don’t blame her. He could be so lame at times. “Mom, are you sure you’re okay? I’m worried about you.”

AJ and I looked at each other. I guess now was a good time as any to tell Eden about the baby. My hope was that she didn’t throw a fit. I couldn’t take much more stress.

“Eden, I’m pregnant.”  I waited for a reaction. Eden looked at me and then her dad.

“Are you for real?” She forced her word out. Eden didn’t look pleased. “I don’t know what to think. I’m in shock. I need time to comprehend this.” She left the bathroom.

“That went well.” I sighed as I got up.

“At least she didn’t throw a fit.” AJ attempted to make me feel better.

“That’s true.” I faked a smile. Hopefully things would get better in the near future.

------------------------------------------

Eden hit speed dial. She needed to talk to Nick. Her thoughts were jumbled and confusion was setting into her brain.

“Hello, Eden. What’s up?”

“Mom’s pregnant.” Eden sat in her window seat watching the neighbors chase their toddler.

“Wow. I didn’t know. How do you feel about that?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know how I feel.” She wiped the tears from her face. “It just seems to make things more complicated.”

“How so?”

“It’s just another punch in the gut for Brian. He’s always wanted kids, but he and mom never did have any. Now she’s pregnant with dad’s baby. Then, I wonder if mom and dad are only together because of the baby.”

“Edy, I know you care about Brian, but he will get over this. It’s going to take time, but he will come out stronger. You got to believe that.” Nick stopped to gather the rest of his thoughts. “Your mom and dad love each other. Just look at them together, you’ll see it. Your mom and dad wouldn’t be together just because of a baby.”

“If you say so. Personally I think love sucks.” She sighed. Eden knew she could tell Nick things that she would never tell anyone else. He never judged her or made fun of her. He was a great guy. “I don’t plan on falling in love and I’m never having sex.”

“Edy Beady, don’t say never. I can’t see you living your life along or becoming a nun.” He joked. “Love is hard, but so worth it. You’re young and will make plenty of mistakes. We’ve all been there.”

“I won’t make any mistakes because I’m not going to allow myself to be in that situation.”  She countered.

“Tell me that when you’re nineteen. Eden you are a beautiful young woman and in time you will want a handsome guy to love you. You’ll be surprised what you are willing to do for love.” Eden’s heart fluttered when Nick called her beautiful. It made her feel special that a guy would say that to her.

“Nick, I need to go. Thanks for the chat. I’ll talk to you soon.”  She ended the call and fell to her bed daydreaming about a certain man.

--------------------------

“Why don’t you have a TV in your room?” AJ asked as he sat in bed rifling through a fashion magazine.

“Because the bedroom is not for watching television.” I smiled. I finished picking up the clothes around the room and put them in the hamper.

“What’s the bedroom for?” He threw the magazine on the nightstand.

“Umm….sleeping.” I giggled as I hopped into bed. I snuggled under the covers like I was going to sleep.

AJ tickled my sides and placed a kiss on my cheek. My eyes fluttered as I rolled him onto his back. Our lips met in a sweet kiss that lasted for a few minutes.

“I love you Alexander James, but you’re not getting lucky tonight.” I told him sweetly.

“What do you mean?” He looked stunned. I wanted to laugh at his expression.

“I’m exhausted and will probably fall asleep with you inside me. I promise that tomorrow when Eden is at Arria’s party we can make love.” I kissed his forehead, then his nose, and lastly his mouth. Then I rolled off of him and turned off the light.

“That’s a promise you better keep.” AJ wrapped his arms around me, and we snuggled close together.

Leah's Point of View
 
AJ went back to Los Angeles for a charity concert. Eden decided to go with him. I was stuck at home because of work. Brian was coming over to pack his stuff. I hadn't seen him in the three weeks since I broke things off. I was nervous about seeing him again.
 
I sat on the porch swing enjoying the warm summer breeze. I was happy with my life. The puzzle pieces were fitting perfectly together. I lost the bitterness and was much more relaxed.
 
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see Brian sit down next to me. He was watching me intently.
 
"Hi Brian."
 
"Leah. How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.
 
"I'm feeling better. My panic attacks have gone away. The morning sickness is a bitch. I have it all day long." I could see the pained look on Brian's face. He wanted to be a dad more than anything.
 
"Do you know how much I wish that baby was mine?" I nodded my head. "He was able to give you the one thing I couldn't."
 
"Brian it was never like that. I'm not with Alex because of the baby. I truly love him."
 
"I know. I think I knew since I saw you with him on tour. It's hurts...a lot." Brian caressed my face. "I just want you to be happy. I've thought a lot about it these past few weeks."
 
"I am happy. I'm worried about you." I stood up and leaned against the wall. It was hard being near him.
 
"Why are you worried about me?" He asked sharply.
 
"Damn it Brian. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I stop caring. You're special to me. I still want you in my life as a friend."
 
We both were quiet for a few seconds. I was saddened by his attitude. He was trying to compose his thoughts.

"I don't want to be friends. You were everything to me. I wanted to give you the world. Why am I not deserving of love?" Brian walked into the house. I followed him; our conversation wasn't over.
 
"Brian Thomas Littrell, don't run away from me. I'm sorry I can't love you the way you want me to. If things were the opposite, I would be hurt, but I'd let you go. Your happiness would be my main concern."
 
"I hope to get to that point someday, but I can't yet." His voice faltered. His eyes were glassy from unshed tears. "I assume you're moving to L.A. Do you think I could spend the day with Eden before you leave?"
 
I hesitated knowing he wasn't going to like what I had to say. "We're not moving to L.A. Alex is moving to Atlanta. He doesn't want to disrupt Eden's life. You are welcome to spend as much time with Eden as you want. I'll never stop you from spending time with her."
 
"Thank you." He smiled. "Well I better start packing."
 
"There are boxes in the bedroom. If you need more, they are in the garage." I told him. "I'm going to run some errands. I'll be back later." He nodded his head and went upstairs.
 
--------------------
When I got back from running errands Brian was already gone. It seemed strange not seeing his stuff. It made everything final.
 
I was relaxing in the tub when my phone rang. "Hey sexy!" I answered.
 
"L-Bug, I miss you. How was your day?"
 
"Brian moved his stuff out."
 
"How did that go?" AJ questioned.
 
"It wasn't easy, but I gave him privacy. I didn't stay the whole time." I said sadly. This was hard for me. AJ understood that and it made the situation easier.
 
"Baby Iwish I was there to make it easier for you."
 
"Just knowing you love me is enough. What are we going to do about the house?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do, Leah?" AJ asked. "I'm fine with whatever you decide.
 
"I don't want to make the decision on my own." I slowly let the water drain.
 
"What are your choices?"
 
"Well Brian and I bought the house together. I don't think it's fair for me to live in it." I stepped out of the tub and grabbed my towel. "Maybe we should sell it and divide the money."
 
"I like that idea a lot. It makes more comfortable to have a house of our own."
 
"I'll talk to Brian tomorrow. I think you want a new house so you can go shopping." I teased. My man loved shopping more than I did.
 
"Well maybe just a little." He chuckled. I missed him and couldn't wait until he got home. "I think we need a fresh start."
 
"I agree. It's quiet there. Where's Eden?"
 
"Nick took her out for dinner and a movie."
 
"Ahh, that's sweet. I think Eden has a crush on Nicky." I joked. I knew that would annoy AJ even though it was a totally harmless. Girls from nine to ninety adored Nick.
 
"Are you trying to kill me? I don't trust Nick and you put that thought into my head." He groaned. I laughed internally.
 
"I don't think Nick is into cradle robbing. You have nothing to worry about."
 
"I better not. So, baby what are you doing?" He asked in a deep throaty voice.
 
"I'm drying off. I took a long bubble bath." I answered in a sexy voice.
 
"Damn baby, do you know how bad that turns me on?" He growled in my ear.
 
"I do know baby." I giggled. "I wish you were here to devour my body. When are you coming home?"
 
"I'll be home on Thursday, and I'm going to ravish your body with my tongue. Then, I'm going to make love to you all night." His voice growled. My body was reacting to his voice and dirty thoughts.
 
I walked into my bedroom and stretched out on the bed. "Alex, I'm stretched out on the bed pretending you are with me; touching my body. Since I'm naked, you need to be, too." I said in a sensual voice.
 
It got quiet on AJ's side of the phone. I wondered what he was doing.
 
"Sexy, is everything okay?"
 
"Fuck. I mean yeah. I just got undressed and into bed. Tell me what you want me to do to you."
 
"I want you to make love to me and make me cum." I moaned into the phone.
 
"You're wish is my command. Relax baby and get comfortable." I scooted back against the pillows while listening to AJ talk. Within minutes my eyes started to droop. I snuggled further into the pillows and fell asleep. "Baby, are you still there?”
 
AJ chuckled when he realized I was asleep. So much for hot phone sex.

Leah’s Point of View

Glancing at the clock I realized that I still had two hours of work. All I wanted to do was get home and see my loved ones. Their flight was due any minute. I was distracted with dirty thoughts about AJ. It had been a week since I was with him and I was horny. I could blame it on the hormones, but it had nothing to do with them, I just wanted him in my bed.

My office door opened. I didn’t glance up from my computer thinking it was my secretary. I just wanted to finish this report and get the hell out.

“Are you so into your work that you can’t look at the sexiest man in your life?” AJ teased as he stood in front of my desk. I jumped up and ran around to him.

“What are you doing here?” I hugged him and pulled him in close to me for a kiss.

“We took an earlier flight home. I missed you.”

“I’m glad you’re back. Where’s Eden?”

“She is spending the night at Arria’s because I’m taking you to dinner. Then we are going to go home, and I’m going to ravish your body with my tongue, just like I planned.” AJ licked up to my ear. My body shuddered against his. I wanted him at this exact moment. “How long until you finish?”

“I think I’m done now. With you here I won’t be able to concentrate.” I went behind my desk to shut down the computer and get my purse. Then we made our way out.

---------------------

AJ and I went to a little Italian restaurant for dinner. We sat in a tiny booth cuddling together.

“Do you want to go to my doctor appointment Monday?” I bit into a breadstick.

“Of course. I want to be there every step of the way.  I hate that I had to miss so much with Eden.”

“Sweetheart, you couldn’t control your schedule back then. Don’t feel guilty about. Eden is a beautiful, healthy young woman. Things are good between you now.” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He sipped his drink. “We had a couple of heart to heart chats this past week.”

“I’m glad she’s finally talking. This has been so hard on her.”

“She’s coming around. Eden said she’s excited about the baby. She is torn about the whole Brian thing. I feel bad, and I’ve told her that she can call him any time. I know they were close.”

I leaned into him. I was glad that we were on the same page when it came to Eden’s relationship with Brian. Our relationship was different this time around. We understood each other and there was a peacefulness to it. We didn’t fight about anything. Sure we didn’t always agree, but we talked about it.

“I think it’s natural. She’s starting to like boys and looking at relationships differently. We’re supposed to be her role models and to her, we’re pretty fucked up.” I explained my thoughts on the situation.  “She sees things black and white. In her eyes she sees cheating and a man she cares for with a broken heart. From her point of view it’s pretty bad. When she’s older and in love Eden will understand.”

AJ groaned at my last comment. “I don’t want that day to come for a long time. Eden’s young. I want her to get a good education and a career before she falls in love.”

“She’ll be thirty by that time. I think it’s sweet that you’re so protective of her.” I patted his arm. Eden was beautiful. There was no way she would wait that long to find a nice guy.

“I don’t like this whole growing up thing.” He pouted as I sat up and the waitress brought our food.

“Neither do I, but she’s a good girl. I think back to when I was fourteen. Eden is an angel compared to me.  I’m glad I got my head on straight when it came to raising her.”

“Leah, you can’t change your past. It made you the wonderful woman you are today. Eden has turned out fine. This baby will turn out just as wonderful.” AJ kissed my hand.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” I asked curiously as I dug into my lasagna.

“Well since we already have a daughter.  I would love a son, but another daughter would be perfect, too.”

“I’m so excited about this baby.”

“Me, too.” AJ smiled.

--------------

AJ was softly snoring, as I cuddled against him. We had made love all evening and we’re exhausted. I couldn’t sleep due to the damn morning sickness that happened day and night. That was the only thing that I hated about my pregnancy. I was thinking about baby names when my cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Leah, its Brian.” What the hell was he calling for this late at night? I looked at the clock it was only ten thirty.

“What’s up?” I asked warily.

“I’m on my way to pick up Eden.”

I stood up and put on my robe. Then I quickly made my way into the hallway. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I was starting to panic.

“Yeah Eden is fine. Apparently some of the girls at the slumber party decided it would be fun to drink and smoke weed. She wasn’t comfortable with it, so she called and asked me to pick her up.”

“Thanks, Brian. Why didn’t she call home?” I stopped pacing and went downstairs.

“She said that you and AJ were having a romantic night and she didn’t want to interrupt.” He said dejectedly.

“Thank you for getting her. I’m sorry.” I apologized, as I heated water for tea.

“It’s not a problem. We’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

“Thanks, again.” I clicked my phone shut.

I made my tea and then sat on the couch waiting for my daughter to arrive. It was twenty minutes of pure hell. I didn’t have the heart to wake up AJ. Finally I heard Brian’s car pull up.  A few minutes later Eden walked in her eyes filled with tears.

“Eden, what happened? Where’s Brian?”

“He dropped me off. I don’t think he wanted to come in.” She sat down beside me. “Mom it was awful. Arria’s changed since the end of the school year. She invited this group of girls from school.” She started to cry.

I pulled her in close to me and let her cry. It broke my heart to see her this upset. A few minutes later her tears turned into sniffles.

“Mom, I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetie?” I rubbed her back.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your romantic evening with dad.”

“Your dad is snoring like a bear. That’s so unromantic. You didn’t ruin anything, Eden. You could have called us.” I wanted her to realize that she was more important than a romantic evening. “Tell me about it.”

“Arria invited this group of girls from school. They like to party and have sex with random guys. She used to hate them and how they acted.  When I got there everything was fine.” She paused. “Then they came over and Arria tells me that we were going to a party at this guy’s house. He’s a senior. I told her that I wasn’t allowed to go. She laughed and called me a baby. The others girls started laughing and teasing me.”

“Eden, that’s horrible. I’m sorry it happened. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.” I remained calm, but inside I was pissed.

“Then they told me that Xavier was using me, and that all he wanted was to get into my pants. Then as they were getting ready the started drinking and doing weed. I grabbed my stuff and called Brian to pick me up. I’m such a loser.”

“Baby girl, you’re not a loser.” AJ walked in and sat down on the coffee table. “I’m proud of you for doing the right thing.”

“Dad, I’m the loser girl now.”

“Take it from me. I’ve done a lot of shit I’m not proud of in the name of being cool. None of those people are around today.” He pulled Eden in for a hug. “It’s hard to make the right decision. I’m proud of you.”

“It sucks dad. I’m going to be the laughing stock of the high school and I’m only a freshman.” She complained dramatically.

“Eden Jamieson it’s a huge school. Arria won’t even be in your classes. You’ll make new friends. Maybe that’s what you need. A fresh start with new friends.”

“I guess. I’m going to bed. Night mom. Night dad.” She gave us both hugs and went upstairs.

AJ moved next to me on the couch. I snugged up next to him. “Being a teenager sucks. I’m glad I don’t have to do that again.”

“I agree. Eden’s a tough girl. She’ll get over it. How did she get home?” He started playing with my hair.

“Brian.” I played with the bottom of his shirt. “I’m thankful she called someone to pick her up.”

“That shows maturity. She’s really growing up. Can’t we freeze her and keep her fourteen forever?” AJ asked.

“As much as I’d love to, we can’t. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. She’ll be fine. We’ve brought her up right. Eden proved she knows right from wrong.” I kissed his cheek.

“I love you Leah” He kissed me sweetly.

“I love you Alex.” We headed back to bed. Things would be better in the morning.

Leah’s Point of View

The weekend had been wonderful. We spent the weekend at the Georgia Aquarium and World of Coca-Cola. It was nice spending time as a family. Not to be mushy, but this was something I always dreamed about.

I walked outside where AJ and Eden were sitting at the table. They were enthralled in a conversation about music. It made me happy to see them getting along. The smiles on both of their faces made me grin.

My wish was finally coming true. We were the family I had always wanted. It was hard to believe that it took fifteen years for it to happen. I had done a lot of stupid things to get where I was today. Each one made me stronger and pushed me to where I was today.

I took a seat next to AJ. I couldn’t stop smiling. AJ looked at me and took my hand. “What’s the big grin for?”

“For once everything is perfect in my life.” I paused, starting to wipe the tears that were escaping the corner of my eyes. “I have a wonderful man in my life, a beautiful and smart daughter, and a precious baby on the way. What more could I want?”

“Oh mom, you’re so mushy gushy.” Eden laughed. “But I love you. I love you dad, too.”

“Awww, we’re one big happy family.” AJ joined in on the love fest.

“Mom and dad, I want to apologize for the way I’ve been acting the past few weeks. I acted like a brat. My feelings were hurt because I was confused about everything. I still don’t understand it all, but I’m going to leave it to you grown-ups.”  Eden’s apology was sincere.

“I appreciate that, sweetheart. You’re young and need to have teenager fun. There’s no need to worry about grown-up drama. You’ll have plenty of time for that.” I walked over and gave her a hug.

“Someday you’re going to grow up and fall in love, and then you will cause some drama of your own.” AJ teased his daughter.

“Nah, I’m too smart for drama. I plan on being with one guy my whole life. I hate drama. I’d rather end up alone then deal with dramatics.” Eden replied honestly. I couldn’t believe how mature my daughter was getting. She was growing up right before my eyes.

“When did you become so wise?” I asked curiously as I sat back down.

“It’s from talking to Nick. We have deep conversations.” She smiled and her eyes twinkled. She definitely was crushing.

“Nick? Deep conversations? Are you talking about the same guy I’ve known forever?” AJ inquired in shock.

“Yes, dad.” She rolled her eyes. “Nick is smarter than you give him credit for.” AJ started laughing as Eden’s cell phone rang.  She looked at the number and ran into the house.

“It must be Nick.” I moved to AJ’s lap and placed a kiss on lips. “But now we’re all alone.”

“Mmmm baby, I like that word alone. I’d want to make love to you right now.” His hands slid down my thighs.

“I don’t think the neighbors would enjoy the view.” I nuzzled against him. “Do you remember that one time on the balcony during the Millennium tour?”

AJ continued rubbing the inside of my thigh close to my womanhood. I wanted to be naughty, but it was too early in the day. Instead we sat there cuddling.

“Leah, I love you.” AJ kissed my head.

“I love you, Alexander McLean.” Life was pretty close to perfect. I was happy and couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.