Hidden Love

My name is Alaina; I’m just 19 years old and am in a wheelchair part time.  I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy, which means that I sometimes have a lot of trouble walking so I either use crutches or my wheelchair.  I live with my parents still but I have like a little apartment in the back of the house that my father had built for me when I turned 18 and I paid rent to them from the disability money I get monthly to live on.

I’m still in high school because I am in one of those learning disabled classes but I was graduating in June which was 3 weeks away and I couldn’t’t wait.  My boyfriend of seven years lived in Orlando Florida and I was living in Cambridge Ontario, whenever he was in Toronto on business he would come and visit me every chance he got.  He is at the moment in Toronto with his band, The Backstreet Boys. 

             I was sitting at the kitchen table with my mother doing my math questions and getting completely frustrated with it, “Mom I can’t do this stuff! It’s too hard.” I yell throwing my pencil across the kitchen.

            “Alaina you need to get this done, you have only a few more questions to do.” She says running a hand along my back as I lean on the table covering my head with my arms. “Honey come on we need to get this done, then we can watch TV for the rest of the night while we wait for Nick to call to say good night.”  My mother says still rubbing my back softly which was slowly starting to calm me down.

            I hear the front door open and close then someone taking off their shoes so without looking up I say, “Hi daddy!” Thinking it was him like every night around this time not thinking that it could be anybody but him.

            “I am not your daddy.” I hear a soft voice say into my ear before lips touch my shoulder, “Whatcha doing with your head on the table?”

            I look up in shock, “Nicky!” I push my chair back and jump at him wrapping my arms around his neck once he bends down to my level, “What are you doing here?” I ask pulling away looking at him curiously.

            “What am I not allowed to come see my favorite girl?” He asks wrapping his arms around my back and lifts me out of my chair.  “Hey there mom, how’s the homework going?”

            “It’s not; she can’t get a few of the questions done.  Then you had to show up and ruin the whole concentration!” She says standing up laughing and kisses his cheek. “It’s good to see you Nickolas.”   

            “Well sorry I had the night off so I skipped out of the hotel without anyone knowing and headed here.” He leans down slightly kissing her cheek motherly.

            “Yeah yeah that’s what you always say.” She rolls her eyes still smiling.  “Help her with her homework then you guys can go hang out in her apartment.”

            That was always the stipulation, when he showed up I had to finish my homework first if it wasn’t done before hanging out with him in my apartment alone, “Since it’s a Friday is it cool for me to stay late?” Nick asks her after setting me back in the chair to finish my work.

            “Sounds good Nickolas gives me and Gord time to go get some chores done but no hanky panky!” She points at him trying to be serious but knows that nothing would happen with us.

Two Months Later

            Nick was here in Toronto for a week that time and I saw him almost every night, even for just a few hours he always came down to see me without the guys or anyone finding out about us.  Just for fun a week ago my friend entered me into a contest to meet The Backstreet Boys in NYC since she didn’t know about me already dating Nick.  I was excited to wanting to see if I’d come out a winner and right now me and my mothers were in our living room listening to the radio to see if I actually won. 

            “And the winner to meet BSB in NYC is….. ALAINA CROSS!!!!” The announcer to the radio station yells clapping and making a lot of noise. 

            I look at my mother laughing loudly hugging her, “Guess we better go pack and call the radio station huh?” I grab the phone and call the station quickly getting all the details about where we were to meet the guys and all that good stuff trying to act excited.          

            I was in my room packing a few things since it was going to be for a week while my mother was on the phone with her work and the school my cell phone rings so I pick it up smiling, “Hey baby!”

            “Hey you, how was your day?” Nick asks knowing it was good with the way I was acting instantly.

            “It was good, mom and me just hung out, you know since it’s a Saturday.  How was your day?” I lay on my bed pushing my bags to the end wanting to talk to him.

            “Good, we found out when we’re in NYC we get to meet a fan and her mom on Monday, and Kevin actually surprised us with Kristen and Mason so they are going to be around for a few weeks.  Then we’re on break for 6 weeks before we go to Europe and tour.” He talks really quickly and I can tell he’s very excited.

            “That’s awesome! So is Kevin going to be at the meet with this fan and her mom?” I ask hoping so because my mother was a big fan of Kevin’s when they first came out, “What about the significant others, or the kids?”  I ask talking about Leigh, Lee, Kristen, Baylee, James and Mason.

            “I guess it’s what the fan wants; I know Kevin will be at the fan meeting though.  It’s a surprise though; no one even knows he’s here but us”

            I see my mother come in and sigh, “I got to go, homework time.  Love ya!” I hang up the phone laughing, “Kevin is going to be at the meeting mommy!” I tease her knowing she loved him when he was in the group.

            Six hours later we were in the air heading to NYC and I couldn’t wait knowing it’d surprise Nick as well as make him finally tell the group about me even though I didn’t mind not being in the spot light because of who I was and how I looked. 

In NYC with the Boys

            “Dudes I just got sent a picture of the contest winner, looks like she’s got some sort of disability or something.” Johnny Wright says walking into the conference room where everyone was hanging out Monday morning getting briefed for the fan meeting.  He hands the picture to Kevin who looks at it before passing it on. “It’ll be a quick dinner and pictures then we’ll come back to the hotel and you guys are off the rest of the night.”  He looks at the guys who all nod excited to finally get a free night after being run crazy the last two weeks with everything they could.

            “Nick you okay man?” AJ asks looking at Nick who was holding the picture of me smiling that he was responsible of taking the last time we saw each other, “She looks like a Downs Syndrome kid or something…”

            “No, she’s got CP…” Nick bites his lip knowing he’s said too much already.  He looks up and everyone looks at him in shock as Johnny checks over his notes on me.

            “How’d you know that Nick?” Johnny asks confirming the facts, “She has Cerebral Palsy, and she’s bringing her mother La… Lara…” He tries to pronounce the name.

            “It’s Larraine, and the contest winner is Alaina…” Nick looks at everyone now knowing he had to explain.

            “And how do you know this Nick, no one else does, the stuff just came in…” Brian asks sitting on Nicks other side concerned.

            “She’s my girlfriend….” He mumbles but everyone hears him and gasps not believing that Nick had a girlfriend none of them knew about.

            “She’s your what? How long man? And why haven’t we heard of her?” Brian asks again putting his hand on Nick’s shoulder shocked yet impressed.

            “She’s my girl B; we’ve been dating for seven years.  And well the whole disability thing, I didn’t want her to be in public with me and the media going on and on about her.” He shrugs, “but she’s great guys.  She’s got the funniest sense of humour and she makes me happy…”

            That afternoon I walk into the restaurant with my mother at my side using my crutches instead of my wheelchair.  I smile looking up when we get inside spotting the guys and their girls sitting around a long table laughing together.  Without realizing it my crutch tip gets caught on the small little rug edge and I squeal falling to my face.

            “Alaina!” Nick runs over and kneels down rolling me over and I look up at him laughing hard, “You okay?” He asks helping me up again chuckling softly at me.

            “Oh yea, I always fall on my face when I walk into a room!” I roll my eyes at him gently slapping his arm before leaning up and gently kissing him not realizing everyone had come over to meet me.  I smile at everyone gently leaning against Nick’s arm, “Hi everyone, nice to finally meet you…”  I gently elbow Nick smiling up at him.

            “Nice to meet you too Alaina, Nick’s been telling us all about the two of you today.  And you must be her sister?”  Kevin asks looking over at my mother as I laugh loudly against Nick’s shoulder

            “No Kev, that’s Alaina’s mother Larraine.” Nick says kissing her cheek over my head, “she’s a big fan of yours, has been apparently since we started” He rolls his eyes at my mother, “had to pick the eyebrows didn’t ya?” My mother looks at Nick and smacks him over the back of the head, “HEY!”

            Everyone laughs at Nick as we all move to the table and I slowly sit down beside him after setting my crutches against the wall and having him guide me back to the table, “So Alaina how do you put up with Nick?” Brian asks me sitting beside Baylee who was colouring with Mason.

            “It’s tough but I can take him, we see each other as much as possible.  And since I’m graduating in 3 weeks we’ll be able to see each other more…” I smile at my mother who shakes her head, “And I’ll be spending the time Nick has off from tour in Florida with him…”

            “Really?” Nick looks at me in surprise not knowing that I had been planning that behind his back, “I get you up in Florida for 3 full months?”
            “Yes you do Nickolas, and if I hear anything bad is going on it’ll be done in an instant.” My mother says pointing at him, “Do not deflower my daughter until she is ready and we’ll be fine.”

            I blush laughing hard at Nick’s face since my mother has never been strict with him before now, “I know Larraine I know…” He mumbles eating his food that was just set in front of him.