Kirsten:

I took my dog, a real sweet chocolate brown Labrador named AJ, to the beach for a nice walk. It was a chilly but sunny day in November and there was no wind. It felt good, walking on the beach in sun. It was  quiet and there wasn’t hardly anyone walking there. AJ was completely thrilled to see the water. He kept running in and out of the water. He started wagging his tail from the moment he could see the beach. This dog sure loved the water. I smiled, while looking at him. I really enjoyed seeing him having so much fun. It made me feel so relaxed. But that’s how I am. If my dog is happy, than I am happy.

 I had AJ for 1,5 years now. I got him because I didn’t want to come home to an empty house after I got back home from work. I’m originally from The Netherlands and all my family live there. I do have friends here of course but it sometimes gets lonely.  I had the chance, about five years ago, to come to the USA, to South Carolina to study. And I did, having a great time here and I graduated about a year ago and now I’m working as a Secretary at an accountants agency. To be honest, not the kind of work I want to do the rest of my life, but I can pay my bills and my rent so it’s okay for now. You never know if or when something else will come along.

While walking with AJ and enjoying the peaceful beach, a man walked by with two little dogs. One was a black Pug and the other was an adorable brown Dachshund. The owner looked at me and nodded his head to greet me. He wore a hat and was busy on his cell phone. I don’t know, for some reason he seemed familiar to me. But I didn’t knew who he could be. He wore his scarf over his chin and mouth so he was pretty covered. But his eyes… I knew them. I gave up. I didn’t knew who he was and he could be anybody, so he also could be just a stranger looking like somebody.

So I continued my walk and AJ followed me. He was so happy and still wagging his tail, glad that he could run freely all over the beach. It was my first day off on a Monday. I’ve changed my weekly day off from Wednesday to Monday.
After an hour I decided to get back to car. AJ was getting tired and thirsty. I walked past a beach club called “The Seagull”. I was daydreaming about my upcoming week off in the first week of December . A full week of doing absolutely nothing, relaxation and rest from my stressful work. Suddenly I heard growl and screaming behind me. I startled and looked behind me. AJ was fighting with the 2 little doggies from mister Hat. I didn’t knew who started the fight but that didn’t matter. Okay, I took a breath and walked towards the three fighting dogs. The owner started yelling at his dogs to stop. I’ve put my hand in the air. “Shhht, don’t yell” I said. “Please, I’ll take care of it. I know how to deal these kind of things, don’t worry”. The guy looked surprised. He, of course, didn’t knew that I had watched a lot of Dog whisperer episodes and had read a couple of mr. Millans books. I learned (the hard way) that yelling and screaming didn’t solve anything. You only make it worse that way because yelling and screaming creates excitement. And that’s not what you want when your dog gets aggressive. I stepped in between the three dogs and first calmed AJ down. I used a “touch” right behind his frond paw to calm him down and to snap him out of this excited state of mind. It worked. I’d expected our mystery guy to calm down his dogs too but that was not the case. The other two dogs where still over excited. “Sorry, miss… could you also do that calming thing with my dogs?” he asked. “Yeah sure, I’ll show you” I said. They got calm in an instant. He looked shocked. “Wow, that was awsome”. I heard AJ whining softly. There where marks of dogteeth in his front paw. “ahhh” I said. I tried to lift AJ but I couldn’t. He was too heavy. Mystery guy said “No, please allow me. I’ll take him to your car okay?”. “Oh ehh, sure” I said. I was a bit overwhelmed by that. “Thank you”. He took his scarf of and his gloves. He didn’t shave that morning. It looked good on him. It gave him this raw look. It looked sexy.  “Do you mind taking these with you to the care?” he asked. “Yeah sure. Shall I take your dogs? That way we can all walk to the parking lot” I suggested. “Yeah, thanks” he said.   Hey carried AJ. While we were walking he asked “What’s his name?”. “This sweetheart is AJ” I responded. “Really” he grinned. “That’s not a common name for a dog, now isn’t it” he laughed. “That’s true” I grinned. “One of my closest friends  is called AJ, so that’s why I laughed”.  “Oh okay” I said. “And what is your name ?” he asked. “I’m Kirsten”. “Hi Kirsten, nice to meet you” he smiled. “Okay, and what’s your name” I asked. “I’m Nick, nice to meet you. I would love to shake hands but, as you can see, AJ has become a handful” he laughed. I giggled. “Haha, it doesn’t matter” I said. We got back to our cars and after Nick had put AJ in the back of my car he turned around towards me. He put of his hat and his reached out his hand to me. “Nick Carter, it’s a pleasure meeting you Kirsten”. My heartbeat was rising. Could this be the one and only Nick Carter, the Backstreetboy Nick Carter? I decided not to ask and not to show him that I had recognized him. It was obvious that it was him but still I didn’t want to ask or let him know. I imagined that it probably would be quite annoying for him to get recognized everywhere he went. “Well, Nick, it’s a pleasure meeting you too but, if you don’t mind, I have to go now. I’m taking AJ straight to the vet’s office for his paw” I said. “I guess that’s a good idea. My dogs are lucky that they didn’t get bitten. You know what, I’m going with you to the vet. If you don’t mind of course. I’ll drive behind you. And whatever the costs are, I’ll pay for it” he offered. “Oh no, please, It’s very nice of you but really, you don’t have to do that. It’s too much” I said. ” No allow me. I’ll pay for the damage that my dogs have done to AJ.  It’s the right thing to do” he smiled. “Well, if you insist I guess you can come to the vet too” I said.

I got in my car and started my engine. I was playing my favorite song, Mr. A. from the latest album of AJ McLean in my car. Suddenly there was a knock on the car window. “Excuse me Kirsten, but can you give me the vet’s address. That way I’ll know how to get there”.  “Yeah sure” so I gave him the address. “By the way, I like this song you’re playing. Good artist” he smiled and he gave me a blink. Oh my God. Would he know that I knew?  My knees got weak and I blushed a little. “Come on, let’s go. I’ll meet you there ok” he said. “Okay, you’ll wait for me at the parking lot?” I asked. “Yes” he said and gave me this gorgeous smile. I completely melted inside, but I didn’t want him to see that.  Then  got in his car and we drove off.

Wow, he is the hottest, most sexiest man I have ever seen. That was, basically, the only thought that crossed my mind during the drive to the vet’s office. Sometimes you meet guys and you literally fall for them and drown in their eyes. Well Nick was one of those guys. I had to take a deep breath to force myself to control myself while driving.

When we arrived at the vet’s office,  AJ went in for his treatment. After that the assistant checked my address and phone number. It appeared that they had the wrong phone number so I gave them the right  phone number. Meanwhile Nick was busy on his cell phone until we were ready to leave. Finally we were ready and we left the office. When we got outside  I started “Thank you, for everything. You didn’t have to..”. “No, shhht” Nick said. “Really it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I loved spending time with you and AJ”. “Oh, well thank you, I enjoyed it too” I said. My cheeks got red again. I hated myself for that. I felt like a teenager all over again. It was embarrassing.  He gave me a hug. “I have to go now” Nick said. “I hope to meet you on the beach again, next Monday” he said. “Ehh, yeah I will” I said. “Monday is my day off from work” I smiled. “That’s good…. That’s really good” he smiled back. “See you next week Kirsten” and he gave me a blink, again. “Bye Nick” I said and became even more red than I already was.   

Ow my God, I thought, when I got back into my car. Butterflies where flying all around my stomach. What a gorgeous man, I thought. “Wow” I sighed. “Okay, relax and get a hold on yourself girl” I said out loud. My cheeks were glowing from this whole experience. I couldn’t help but smile. And I drove home. Singing along with AJ McLean’s album on my way home.

Nick:

I drove off to AJ that afternoon. That girl sure was a good looking lady. She seemed real. Not like the typical kind of “Oh you are “The” Nick Carter from the BSB” kind of girl. That’s why I, while she was checking her address and phone number with that assistant,  quickly typed her phone number and address on  my cell phone and saved it. Maybe I’d text her tonight. Perhaps, as a surprise or something. There was something about her. I wanted to get to know her. She said that she would be on the beach again, next Monday. But I didn’t knew if I could wait that long. I smiled when I thought back at AJ. He’s such a great dog. So sweet. I figured that AJ would love the fact that Kirsten called her dog AJ. Did she know who I am? I wondered. I guessed so. She had to. I mean, she did have AJ’s latest album. So it would be strange if she didn’t knew who I was. But I’m glad that she didn’t went nuts. I liked her. It’s funny how life can take new meaning.

I arrived at AJ’s place. I parked my car and got out. AJ stood outside and walked towards me. “He bro” he greeted me. “Hey” I grinned. “How are you doing man?”. “I’m fine bro” AJ said “and what about you?”. “I’m fine, I just went for a walk with the dogs at the beach”. “Oh that’s nice. I’ve been planning to do that myself, but of course I had plenty of other stuff to do”. “Yeah, I know. It’s familiar haha. But you never know what happened to me at the beach” I said. “Tell, me bro, I wanna hear everything” AJ grinned. So I told him about my meeting with Kirsten and AJ. He laughed his butt of with AJ being the name of the dog. He felt honored that this dog was named after him. It was great. He asked if he looked like AJ the Lab so I grinned and said that he did. I told him that I wasn’t sure if AJ was as soft as AJ the Lab but hey, there had to be a difference right. So I told him that AJ got bitten by one of my dogs and that I drove him to the vet, well I followed Kirsten and AJ, and paid for the damage. And that I took advantage of the fact that her address and phone number where checked by the assistant and quickly saved them on my phone. “That’s a good move, Don Juan” AJ said. “Yeah, well I bet you would do the same if you where in my shoes” I replied. “Yeah, of course, you know me” AJ said. “But are you planning in getting to know her better, or ask her out?” he asked. “Well, the first impression is really good” I replied. “And she looks pretty damn good. And she’s nice. Normal, you know. Kinda like the girl next door, but then better” and I started to blush a little. Of course AJ saw that and immediately started bugging me with it. “Wow, she’s taking over man. I think you have a crush on her. You sure have the hots for this girl”. “Yeah I do” I admitted. “But I guess you would feel the same AJ” I said. “Well maybe you can take her picture, next time you’ll meet her. Than I can check her out and see if your right” and he blinked his eye. “You bastard, she’s mine AJ, not yours. You’ll have to go and find yourself your own  misses buddy” I smiled. “Doesn’t she have some nice looking girlfriends?” AJ asked. “I really don’t know haha. I haven’t met her friends yet” I said. We had a nice afternoon and I stayed over for dinner. Around nine o’clock I decided that it was time to go home. I took the dogs in my car and drove off. When I got home I let the dogs in the house and turned on the TV. For some reason I couldn’t focus on the programs that was broadcasting at that moment. My mind wondered of to Kirsten. What would she be doing right now? Would she be at home or with friends. Maybe she already had a boyfriend. Would she be interested in me? “ Oh come on Carter, you usually never are this insecure” I scowled out loud. My telephone went off. It was Aaron. I didn’t feel like picking up. I’d call him back later. After the phone stopped ringing I picked it up and typed a text message:

Hi Kirsten, thanks for the wonderful “little” walk to the car today. Would you like to join me for lunch, this Saturday? Let’s say about twelve o ‘clock? If you want I’ll pick you up at your place? I’ll bring a bone for AJ. Love Nick

I hesitated. Would it be wise to send this text message? Or would I make a complete fool out of myself? Perhaps it was better to wait until next Monday. “No, Nick. Stop being a wimp. You’re going to send it right now”.  And I pressed on the “send” button.

Within five minutes she texted back: Hi Nick, thanks for the invitation. I’d love to go out for lunch with you, this Saturday. You can pick me up. I figure you know my address, since you already have my number too (lol). AJ wants me to give you a paw and he’s looking forward to that bone.  Love Kirsten.
I grinned out loud. I texted back:  I’m looking forward seeing you again.
She texted:  Me too!

I texted back: Do you feel like joining on MSN? 
Kirsten: When and how, because I don’t have your e-mail?
I replied: You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

She gave me her e-mail address and we started chatting on MSN.
Me: Hi
Kirsten: Hi
Me: What have you been doing this evening?
Kirsten: Talking to you!
Me: Haha smartass
Kirsten: Lol!
Me: No seriously, what where you doing before we started texting?
Kirsten: Well, I had my dinner, called a friend, watched some TV and I was planning on taking a bath. And you?
Me: I’ve visited my friend AJ and I had dinner with him and some other friends. Then I went home and I’ve texted you and now we are chatting.
Kirsten: Did you tell your AJ about my AJ?
Me: Yeah I did. He felt honored that you named your dog after him.
Kirsten: Well, he doesn’t know if I really named  it after him.
Me: I also told him that you had Mr. A playing in your car. So that’s why he figured that you named the dog after him. Or is he wrong.
Kirsten: Yes, I’m busted. It’s true.
Me: Doesn’t matter honey. At least you have great taste of music. Lol!
Kirsten: Haha (blushing smiley)
Me: (smiley lips)
Kirsten: (blushing smiley)
Me: (smiley rose)
Kirsten: I have to go now. It’s time for me to take a shower, or bath and after that it’s time to go to sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow.
Me: Why?
Kirsten: I have to work all day.
Me: What kind of work?
Kirsten: I’m a Secretary
Me: hmmm you could become my private secretary?
Kirsten: Mister Carter, are you flirting with me?
Me: Maybe, would you mind?
Kirsten: I don’t believe you.
Me: Why not?
Kirsten: Honestly, you meet so many gorgeous women. Why would a man like you would be interested in an average girl like me?
Me: Because, you are natural and real.
Kirsten: Stop teasing me.
Me: Oh no, I’m not teasing you!
Kirsten: We’ll see. I’m sorry but I have to go now. I have to sleep.
Me: Do you really have to?
Kirsten: Yes, I’m sorry.
Me: OK. Sweet dreams (smiley lips)
Me: Sweet dreams (smiley lips)
Kirsten: Sweet dreams (blushing smiley)(smiley lips)

Kirsten went offline.

I took a deep breath after she went offline. I was a little bit disappointed that she had to leave so quick. But I understood of course. She had to get up early, the next morning. But I liked her. And I wanted to spent more time with her. I wanted to get to know her. I felt that I was falling for her. Butterflies were  running through my stomach.  I thought about that afternoon. She had beautiful dark blond hair. Bright blue eyes and a beautiful face. She had a sweet expression on her face. Nice full lips and beautiful skin. She wore little make – up. Only mascara. I’ve always been attracted to girls who didn’t wore too much make-up. 

I had to surpress the temptation to call her. She was probably getting ready for bed at this moment. And I didn’t want her to think of me as some weird stalker or something like that, but I would’ve loved to hear her sweet voice and to talk to her about all sorts of things. “Stop it Carter, you’re acting like a fool” I mumbled. My thoughts wondered of again to Kirsten. I knew now would not be the best time to fall in love. Within three week the other guys and I would take off for our North American leg of the tour. And they expected me to be focused on the show now. Being a Backstreetboy meant having lots of responsibility. We all had to make sure that every show was one hundred percent perfect. Wich meant basically that we all had to practice our butts of. We had to make sure we took real good care of our health and that we’d gave our fans what they deserved. And they deserved only the best. I knew that if I gave in and completely fell in love in with Kirsten I couldn’t be one hundred percent focused. But on the other side, I didn’t had much choice. I couldn’t change the way I felt. I couldn’t ignore it. I felt like a teenager all over again. I sighed. I looked at the clock and decided it was time to go to bed.

Kirsten:

The next morning I awoke early. I felt fit and got up immediately after the alarm clock went off. I sat up straight in bed and my mind wondered off to Nick. I liked it that he’d texted me yesterday. I couldn’t believe he asked me on a lunch - date. I was already a bit nervous for Saturday. I didn’t know what to wear. I had the rest of the week to find the appropriate outfit but of course I wanted to look the best that I could, without making it to obvious to him that I had a crush on him. I sighed. “Get a grip on yourself. Relax”.  I smiled and got up. I turned on my cell phone and I walked into the bathroom and took a nice warm shower. After that I put on my mascara and blow dried my hair. I chose a black short skirt to wear combined with a creamy white cashmere V – neck sweater and nice beige pair of high heeled boots. With that I put on a silver bracelet and a pair of silver earrings. I liked to dress up. Being a Secretary didn’t mean you had to dress like a non. In fact, as a secretary you are the face of the company. You can only make a first impression once.

When I got back into my bedroom I glanced briefly at my cell – phone, which was on the bed, and there was a text message. I quickly started reading it.

I’m thinking of you! Love Nick

I started blushing and smiled. Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I did a quick happy dance. I checked at what time he had send the message. He apparently texted me at 2 a.m. in the morning. Maybe he had trouble sleeping or maybe he always went to bed that late. I didn’t knew.

I texted back: I’m thinking of you too Nick. I’m going to work now but my thoughts are with you. Xx Kirsten.
 
My cheeks glowed and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Anyway,  I had to hurry to get to work in time. I was already late. I got in my car and drove off to work. I had trouble focusing on work today.  Every five minutes I checked my cell phone to see if I had received any new text messages. 
I didn’t received any. And I started feeling a bit nervous. What if he didn’t liked me. What if there was something wrong. What if I had it all wrong and he wasn’t that in to me? Maybe he was mad at me. I was making myself crazy. To protect myself from getting to distracted I picked up my phone and I putted it on the table behind me. That way, I couldn’t look at it and maybe it would help. It did, for fifteen minutes. Meanwhile I tried to finish a letter to a client. I literally had to force myself to finish this letter. I just clicked on the print button when I heard the sound of an incoming text message from my phone. I immediately turned around and grabbed my phone.  I opened my inbox. It’s from Nick.

Good morning Gorgeous, I just woke up. I didn’t sleep too well last night. How is work? I have to go to the studio this afternoon. Me and the guys are writing some new songs. I wished it was Saturday already xxx Nick

I smiled. Suddenly James, my boss, walked into my office. He stared at me. “Are you in love Kirsten?” he asked. I blushed. “ehm well ehh..”. James laughed and answered “I’ll take that as a yes”.  My cheeks got a deeper shade of red. “I’m sorry if my comment made you feel uncomfortable” James said. “But I’m happy for you. You deserve it to be happy”. “Thank you James, thank you very much”.

“Would you mind booking me a flight to Canada for next week. I have a meeting on Wednesday with Matthew in Calgary”. “Oh sure, and would you like me to book a hotel of are you staying over at Matthew’s house?”.   “I’ll stay over at Matthew’s”.  “I’ll make the arrangements” I said.  I wanted James to leave the room so I could text Nick back. I heard the sound of another incoming text message. I turned red again. James smiled. “I’ll leave OK, so you can answer to your man” he laughed. And got out of the room. Gosh that was awkward. I looked at the new message.

“Hey Gorgeous, where are you? You didn’t answered my first text. Did you receive it? Xxx Love Nick.

I decided to call him. I dialed his number on my phone at the office and he immediately picked up. “Carter” he said. “Hi, it’s me Kristen” I said softly. “Oh, hi” he sounded surprised. “Do you have time to chat?” I asked. “Yeah of course” his voice sounded cheerful.  “Are you at work right now” he asked softly. “Yeah I am. But I have an office all for myself. So there is nobody who can hear me” I answered. My heartbeat raised while I heard his voice. “O.K., that’s nice”. For a moment we were both quiet. He asked me, with his soft voice “Would you like to come over to my place tonight? Because… to be honest I can’t wait to see you again”. If he would be able to see me right now he would see something that looked similar like a tomato. “I would like that” I replied shy. “And what time do you have in mind, are you staying for dinner?” Nick asked. “Well I’m finished working  around five, but first I have to get home and walk AJ for at least half an hour”. “Okay, well I’ll meet you at 5:30 at your house. I’ll join you with your walk with AJ” Nick said cheerfully. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that” I said. “Ok, I see you this afternoon. I have to go now Gorgeous” Nick said. “OK, bye” I softly said.

It took ages before the afternoon ended and I was finally ready to go home. I got really nervous. After all, the man of my dreams was coming over to walk AJ with me and later we would have dinner at his house. And he said that he couldn’t wait until Saturday to meet me, Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. At four thirty I sneaked to the toilet to make sure if I looked good enough to meet my dream hunk in less than an hour. I looked OK. Finally I got in the car and after a twenty minute drive I was home. I still had about ten minutes before he would arrive. I went inside and AJ was happy to see me. His tail wagged and he cheerfully ran to the door. Expecting me to get the leash so that we could go outside. “No AJ, you have to wait for a couple of minutes. Nick is coming with us”. I got very nervous. About five minutes later the doorbell rang.

I opened the door. And there he was. He completely mesmerized me with his gaze and his dazzling smile. I felt my knees were getting weak. “Hi” I said shy. I felt that I was blushing and for a moment I hated myself. “Hi Gorgeous” Nick said with his sexy soft voice. My inside melted by the sound of his voice. He gave me a smile that caused me to stutter. “Ehh, wwwould you like to come in?” I asked. I barely dared to look at him. “I would like to” Nick answered. He stepped forward and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I felt that my cheek was on fire. “I missed you” he whispered in my ear. Oh, it was so appealing to kiss him full on his mouth. I wanted him so bad but I was too shy to kiss him first. “I missed you too” I whispered back. He lifted up my face with his hand under my chin so that I had to look him into his eyes. His eyes pierced into mine. I sighed. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt that I went nuts. Something had to happen soon. He gently pushed me to the wall in the hallway and his face came close to mine. You could feel the tension between us. You could almost touch it. And then his soft lips touched mine. God he smelled so good. His scent was delicious. It made me want him even more. He approached me gentle. He kissed me softly and I kissed back. He softly pushed his tongue into my mouth and a sensual French kiss followed. An army of butterflies were racing in my stomach. Oh my God, that is the best mind-blowing kiss I had ever had. Wow, it was breath taking. His soft lips touching mine and his strong arms wrapped around me. He pulled me close to him and our kiss wend on and on. Every fiber in my body screamed for this kiss not to end. This kiss was as good as the best chocolate ever made. The kiss got more and more passionate and meanwhile he caressed my back, hips and my ass. He completely turned me on. I wanted him, right now. He made me so horny. He stopped kissing me. I opened my eyes and tried to get my breath back. “That was…” I sighed “Awesome” Nick finished. “Wow” he smiled. “I imagined our kiss to be good but this was… better than I ever had” he whispered.

I glanced briefly at AJ. “He really has to go outside” I said. Nick stepped back “yeah of course, come on lets go outside” he said.

I got AJ on the leash and we walked out of the door. Nick walked next to me. We were both quiet for a while. “How was your day” Nick asked to break the silence. “Oh, well okay I guess. I couldn’t really  focus on work today but you can’t always stay one hundred percent focused right?” Nick grinned “I know, same here”. He looked at me and smiled. I felt so shy it was ridiculous. I mean, I am grown woman just walking with a guy. Why did I feel like a thirteen year old? “And how was your day” I asked. “Same as yours. I got a comment from one of the guys if I could act a little bit more interested  because we needed to make some choices for our upcoming show”.  “ I’m sorry that I’m the one who’s distracting you” I said with a soft voice, feeling a little insecure. “Oh, no, really don’t blame it on yourself. It’s me.  I need to force myself on staying focused when I have to work. Kirsten, it’s not your fault” he smiled. He took my hand and we walked further. AJ was really cheerful today. I let him loose at the dog park and he played with a couple of other dogs. We watched him running and playing with these dogs. After a while we sat down on a bench. Nick put his arm around me. “You have to tell me something” he said while looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes “you are not originally from the USA, right? Because the vet’s assistant named your last name and it didn’t sound English”.  “No, that’s correct. I’m not from the USA. I’m from the Netherlands”. “Really?!?” Nick stared at me with big eyes. “Yes, really” I grinned. “But that’s on the other side of the world, wow. And how do you pronounce your name?  I heard you correct the assistant but it sounded strange” he asked. “My last name is Harkema”. Nick tried to repeat after me “Garkemaah”. I giggled “No, Harkema, with the H as in Hi”. “Ok, I’ll try again” Nick said “Harkemoah”. “Almost, haha” I laughed “Harkema, and in the end it’s aaa “. “Dutch is a difficult language” he laughed “Harkema” he said. “Yeah” I cheered. “That’s the right way of pronouncing my name, you’ve won a brand new washing machine haha” I laughed. “Nick couldn’t stop laughing. “What? haha”. “That’s Dutch humor. We had a show called “Rad van Fortuin” in English it’s called “Wheel of fortune” and in the early days you could win some small prices like a computer or a dishwasher or a washing machine” I explained. He laughed and suddenly he brought his face close to mine. His lips touched my cheek. “You’re beautiful, did you know that?” he whispered in my ear. I didn’t answer. As in a reflex I closed my eyes by hearing the sound of his soft voice and his lips found mine.  His hands cupped my chin and he kissed me intensely.  His tongue slithered against mine and they danced with each other in our mouth’s. A soft groan came out of my mouth. I was on cloud nine. It was like the world stopped for a second. What a kiss. Suddenly I felt two paws on my knees and a wet nose touching our cheeks. As I opened my eyes I found out that AJ had found us and decided to join the party. I started giggling and couldn’t stop anymore. AJ became, of course, very happy with so much attention and happiness and so he jumped up Nick’s lap. “Hey doggie, you want some attention to, hey!”And AJ wagged his tail real fast. So we stroked him for a moment. “He’s a wonderful dog” Nick said. “Thank you, and he is. He is like a friend who never argues with you haha” I said. Nick laughed. “You’re funny” he said. “Well thank you, mister Carter, but I think you are quite funny yourself also” I said prominently. Nick laughed. He stretched out his arms and said “I’m hungry, do you mind if we drop off AJ at your house. Then we’ll go to my place to get some food”. “Sure” I said. And I got AJ back on the leash and we walked back to my house.      

Later on we got in Nick’s car. On our way to his house we chit – chatted about different subject. I told him about my parents who lived in Friesland, the Netherlands, in a small village called Hindeloopen. And we talked about music, his dogs, my dogs, our families. And after a twenty minute drive we stopped. He opened the gate of his house with a small remote control and slowly drove further on his driveway.
  
We arrived at Nick’s place. I walked into the hall and it was nice. It had a nice atmosphere and a beautiful wooden floor. We walked on into the living room. The room was decorated with beautiful furniture. He had a beige 2 and a 3 sits couch with big light green cushions and other nice light colored furniture. “Wow, you have a beautiful house Nick” I said. “Yep, I worked hard to get it like this. But it’s finally finished and I’m glad for that”.  He took my hand and showed me around the house. The whole house was decorated in the same style as the living room. It looked nice and friendly. Women proof to be honest. “Did your sisters help you to decorate this house? Or is it your own style” I asked teasingly. “Well” he sighed “Honestly, my ex – girlfriend and I broke up about six months ago. And we were supposed to live here together. But then things went a little different than expected and we broke up. So, to answer your question, she’s the one that helped me decorate this place”. There was an awkward silence after he told me that. I glanced briefly at him and for a moment I swear I could see a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.  “I’m sorry” he sighed “I really don’t want to talk about her. I’ll tell you the story later but now is not the time. Besides I’m with you right now and I really want to have a great night  with you. And that means that there is no room for ex – girlfriends of ex – boyfriends for that matter. I smiled but I felt that I got insecure, again. He gazed into my eyes and gave me a small kiss. Come, I’ll show you the rest of the house”.

After the tour we went downstairs and Nick released the dogs from the garage. They came into the living room and immediately started sniffing around and checking me out. At first I ignored the dogs so that they would be able to smell my scent and to make sure that they felt that they could trust me. Nick came out of the kitchen with two soda’s. I noticed him looking at me and he was surprised to see the dogs being so calm. The dachshund laid right next to me and was half asleep. The Pug laid on the floor and stared at Nick hoping to get a dog biscuit. “I don’t believe it” he said surprised “You manage to get the dogs all calm down and relaxed. How did you do that? Normally they are all hyper for the first half hour and they won’t let you sit down and relax”. “Well, honestly, when you enter a room with dogs you have to ignore the dog. No touch, no talk and no eye contact. If you do look at the dog and you go “Hi how are you, ahhh, did you miss mommy, ahhh good boy, good boy” (I squeaked) then dogs get way to excited. And then you get into the situation where you find that it’s a lot harder to calm them down. So the best way, like I said, is to ignore them. Let them come into the room and allow them to smell your scent. That’s the natural way of dogs greeting each other. And when they are calmed down then you can give affection and attention” I explained. “Wow, how do you know that?” he asked. “Well I watch the Dogwhisperer a lot and I have some of his books and DVD’s. And I found out that his techniques works for AJ and most of the other dogs too. I mean, it’s all about staying calm and balance yourself. Your dog is like a mirror of your personality. And it’s true because when I’m not balanced AJ doesn’t listen to me at all.” Wow, please teach me because I want to learn it too” Nick said. “You know what, next time you’re at my place I’ll borrow you a couple of his DVD’s. And of course I’ll help you with your dogs as much as you want. I may not know everything but I think I can help you a bit.” “Cool, thanks” he said. “You mist your calling” he said. “I believe you should think of a career in helping dog owners” Nick said. “Well” I laughed “I did think about it, but I don’t know if I have enough courage to do that. It’s a risk and what if doesn’t work. Then I don’t have a job and I can’t pay my bills” I answered. Nick looked at me “If you have a dream go for it. Do not let anything stand in your way into becoming what it is that you want to be. Look at me, I live my dream. It’s hard work, and definitely not easy, but  I am living my dream. And I think you should give this a go. I can see you are a natural. Seriously, think about this.” He did his best to convince me. “Maybe” I sighed “maybe in the future. I’ll think about it” I said. Nick got up from the couch “Come with me, it’s dinnertime” he said. We walked into the kitchen. It had a great view on the hills behind the house. Nick had warmed up a couple of left over’s. He had some Chinese food, some smoked chicken, baked potatoes and a bowl with vegetables. It all tasted real good. During our meal we chit-chatted some more and it was really nice to be with him. He was so outgoing and nice. A nice person to hang around with.


After dinner we got back into the living room. Nick asked me if I wanted coffee and I told him I did. He walked away to prepare it and I quickly looked at my cell phone. My brother texted me how I was doing and I quickly texted back that I was all right and that I would call him this weekend.        

Nick came out of the kitchen with two cups of homemade cappuccino.  “Hey, I saw that” he laughed. “Oh” I showed him my cell phone “I got a text from my brother”. “I’m only teasing, you don’t have to answer to me” he said laughing. “It’s none of my business who you do or do not text” he said. “I know, but I don’t have any secrets.” I laughed.  Nick sipped his coffee. He didn’t smile. “I guess your hinting on my ex-girlfriend” he said. “Oh no, no I didn’t mean it like that” I defended myself. “No, it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s for the best to tell you what happened. There are people who are telling bad stories about me on the Internet, about me and my ex, but these stories are bullshit. My ex and I broke up because she had cheated on me”. I wanted to respond but Nick made a gesture with his hand not to. “She was upset because I didn’t had much time to spend with her in the last couple of months.  And we got into a huge fight. She walked out of the house that night and returned the next day. She wanted to make things right with me but by then I already got a call from Aaron, my brother, that he had seen her in a club with a guy. And she was all over him. Kissing, caressing, the whole nine yards”. “I’m sorry things happened that way” I said with a pitiful look in my eyes. “I don’t need pity but the last couple of months have been tough for me. And after a while I’ve heard that there were people who spread rumors that I was the one who wasn’t honest and that I was the one who cheated. It could be that my ex told a different story to others. To make herself look better. But I haven’t spoke to her in a while, and frankly I don’t want to. I had enough of her” Nick explained. He gave me a sad look. I stood up and gave him a hug.  “Listen” I whispered to him “You are the one who really knows what happened. It doesn’t matter what stories there are on the Internet. And you don’t have to explain yourself to me or to anyone else. I think you are a wonderful person and I’ll never treat you the way she did”. Nick’s eyes pierced into mine. “Thank you, that’s really sweet” he gave me a little smile and kissed me. I looked him deeply in into his eyes. “You’re special Kirsten” Nick said. He kissed me again. He gave me little kisses on my lips and wrapped his arm around me. “Do you feel like watching a movie” he asked. “Yeah, I’d love to”. We watched the movie “Chocolat”. I curled myself on his couch with him and during the movie we made out. Man he was great. So sweet and so loving. After the movie ended he brought me home. I had to work the next day and he had to work also. We walked AJ together and after a mesmerizing kiss we said goodbye.

The next couple of days passed by quick. Nick had to perform in different places and in the meanwhile we texted a lot and we called each other often.  On Thursday my best friend Jenna came over at my house. She knew about me and Nick. We knew almost everything about each other and my love life, of course, was no secret either. That night we practiced our dance routine for Saturday. Besides my job as a Secretary, I also had a part-time job as a dancer. I got this job when I was in college. Jenna and I where dancers at a local club called “The Zone” once every two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like erotic dancing or stripping but just normal, nothing to be ashamed about, dancers. Our job was to cheer up the crowd and get them into a party mood.  Of course our dance routines where sexy and our outfits too but  it wasn’t tacky. We sorted out our playlist. We picked three songs. One song before the mystery guest would come up, one song for the break, and one after the mystery guest had done his job.  

The first song to open the evening was NKOTB ft. Nicole Scherzinger  with “Grown Man”.

The second one was Shakira and Beyonce with “Beautiful Liar”.
The third one was Pussycat Dolls with “Buttons”.
The dance routines had to be sexy for this evening. And we practiced for hours.  When we took a break Jenna asked “And how does Nick feel about your job as a dancer?”. I gave her a guilty look “I haven’t told him yet”. “Oh Kirsten, don’t tell me you didn’t. You shouldn’t be lying to him about this” she sighed. “Oh come on, I didn’t lie to him. I just haven’t told him yet. That’s not lying. And besides, there are so many things I don’t know about him yet” I defended myself. “Seriously Kirsten, if Nick finds out about this in a different way than from your mouth I think that he’s going to be really upset about it” Jenna raised her voice. “Stop telling me what to do Jenna. Don’t act like you know everything. You don’t know Nick at all. And besides, I didn’t said that I’m not going to tell him. I will. Maybe I’ll tell him this Saturday when we have lunch” I snapped. Jenna rolled with her eyes. “ I only want  you to be happy and that’s why I said that you’d better be honest to him about it.” she snapped back. “I know, and you’re right. But you made it sound like I would deliberately hide something from him. And that’s not the case. I just don’t want him to find out through a text or a call. I promise I’ll tell him Saturday” I smiled. Jenna smiled back and gave me a hug. “I know girl. I’m sorry if I was a little bitchy about it. It’s just that I had a huge fight with Matt about it when he found out. We almost broke up because of that and I don’t want you to get into the same problems with Nick” Jenna explained. “I know” I sighed. “So are we friends again?” Jenna asked with a pout. I gave her a hug “Yes, of course, always and forever” and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, we have to practice” I said. And after another two and a half hours of practice we where both tired. Jenna went home and I went upstairs for a shower. After the showering I took AJ outside for the last time that night.

When I got back I gave AJ a dog biscuit and I went to bed. I almost fell asleep when my phone ranged. “You need love, please don’t change the way you are. Soon you’ll live within my heart. You deserve it, you know…” With my eyes closed I picked up the phone. “Hello” I said with sleepy voice. “Hi honey, it’s me” Nick’s soft voice sounded in my ear. “I hope I didn’t wake you”. “You did wake me, but I’m happy you did. I missed you today” I said with a soft and sweet voice. “I missed you to. I’ve been meaning to call you earlier but I didn’t had enough time to do so. I’m sorry” Nick said. “I wish it was Saturday already. I hate being apart from you” he sighed. “Ah, that’s so sweet” I said softly. “I hate being apart from you also. I wish you could be here with me laying next to me in bed with your arms wrapped around me” I whispered. “ You don’t know how much I long for that” Nick sighed. “It’s torture really” he said. “I know” I sighed.  “Are you home right now?” I asked. “No, I’m in a hotel. Tomorrow night I have to perform and afterwards I’m going home” he said. “What are you going to do tomorrow night” he asked. “I have a “Friday afternoon drink” at work. So that means my boss and some of my colleagues are gonna get wasted” I explained.  “And you, are you planning on getting wasted yourself? “ he grinned. “No, maybe a little tipsy but not wasted. Besides I don’t like feeling of a hangover” I said. “Hmmm.. I would love to see you drunk sometime” Nick said teasingly. “Patience mister Carter, maybe you will someday” I said teasingly. I yawned. “it’s getting late, you should be asleep already” Nick said. “You are right. I should get some sleep” I said. “Well sweetie, sweet dreams and I hope I’m  part of them” Nick said softly. “Ahhh, I hope you are there too. I’m going to look for you in my dreams. And maybe I’ll stop by in your dreams” I sighed. “Bye honey” “Bye sweetie” and the connection went down. I quickly fell asleep and before I knew it the alarm clock went off. Again!

I got up, took a shower, ate breakfast and walked AJ. After that I got to work. In the meantime I texted Nick to let him know that I had awoke already and that I missed him. I knew he would be asleep for at least another three hours but I couldn’t resist texting him. Around eleven o’clock I received a text from him. He missed me too and was about to go to the venue where he had to perform tonight. He’d gave a call after the show. In the afternoon my boss got wasted, as predicted and there was a guy who tried to make a move on me. The guy was drunk and made a complete fool out of himself. I told him to get lost and that I already had a boyfriend. I got home a little tipsy and walked AJ. After I had returned I ate a microwave meal and watched a movie. I was tired. I practiced the dance routine for tomorrow and got to bed early. I knew that Nick would call me later that evening and I pulled the sound of my phone at the loudest so that I would wake up when he called.

I fell asleep and after an hour or two Nick called. We talked a little and then he hung up. In a couple of hours we would finally see each other again. God, it’s torture being apart for so long.  


Nick:

Finally it was Saturday. I awoke at 10 o'clock that morning. I got out of bed and took a hot shower. I choose to wear a baby blue shirt and a white vest with a hoody, dark blue jeans and white sneakers. Today was the day I would finally see Kristen again.. I missed her and I couldn't wait to see her again. At the same time I also felt a bit nervous and it was like there were all butterflies in my stomach. It was funny. I only knew her for a short period of time but it felt like I knew her much longer now. We had so much in common. The same humor, our love for animals, we loved the same food. After I got dressed I went downstairs to the living room. I ate cereals with milk and a plate of fresh fruit for breakfast. Rocky (My pug) and Joe (my Dagshund) looked at me with begging faces. "Patience doggies. I'll put on my shoes and then I'll walk you" I said. Both Rocky and Joe wagged their tail rapidly and started jumping with excitement . If you'd put music (Kriss Kross with Jump Around) underneath this scene it would be hilarious. I remembered that Kristen had explained me how to snap them out of this state of mind and I tried it for the first time myself. I took a deep breath and visualized two relaxed dogs and gave them both a soft, quick touch right behind the elbow of the front paw. It was amazing to see, within two seconds, the change of these dogs. They calmed down. "Dogwhisperer eat this" I yelled out lout and I did my 'stir the kettle' happiness dance. I was so happy no one had seen me doing that. It would be so embarrassing if this came out in public. I grinned. I got both Joe as Rocky on the leash and got outside to walk them. The weather was nice outside. Cold but sunny and not much wind. After half an hour I returned at the house and quickly got those two rascals in their kennel in my garage, with food and fresh water. It was time for me to leave for lunch now. I went inside and took a last critical look in the mirror. You've looked better bro' I thought. "Well there is nothing I can do now to change it" I sighed. I got my car keys and walked outside the house to my car.

I drove off to Kristen's house to pick her up. In the backseat of my car there was a big bouquet of white, red and pink roses. I wanted to make her feel really special. I parked my car in front of her house. I got out the car and took the flowers with me and hided them behind my back. I walked up to her front door and rang the door bell. After a couple of seconds she opened the door and she gave me a dazzling smile. She almost knocked me of my feet with her gorgeous looks. Wow, she was even prettier then I remembered. She took my breath away. She wore a black short skirt with a black legging and sexy black killer heel boots. On top she wore with a purple V-line top and a black feminine scarf. She had her hair loose on her shoulders and little make - up. God, could a girl be even more prettier than this (I asked in silence).

I kissed her before she could greet me. It was a passionate French kiss and she eagerly answered it. My lips touched her soft beautiful lips and our tongues found each other. The kiss went from passionate to erotic. It felt like my mind was on fire. My God, that girl made me wild. I had to fight against my desire to rip her close from her body and have sex with her - I swear I would make love to her like no one had ever done before. I would get her the best orgasm she'd ever felt before - right here in the hall way of her front door. I forced myself to act normal and appropriate. "Hi babe" I said. "I brought you something" and I gave her the flowers "aaaahh Nick, how sweet of you. You shouldn't have" she said with her soft sweet voice. She gave me that look wich made my knees week. "Only the best is good enough for you baby" I said. I walked behind her into the living room and got greeted by AJ. "I'll put these beautiful flowers in water" she said cheerful. "And then we have to go the beach club" I said. She quickly got back and got her coat on, grabbed her purse and we left.

We drove off to the beach club and suddenly Kirsten grabbed my hand and smiled at me. "I've missed you Nick. I'm really happy we are together again" she said with her soft sweet voice. I squeezed her hand a little and smiled back. I had to pay attention to the road so unfortunately I   couldn't get lost in her beautiful eyes. "You wanna hear some music sweety?" I asked. "Yeah sure". I played U2 and soon we were both singing loud "With or without youuuuu, with or without youuuuu. I can't live with or without you". I looked at her and smiled. "Hey you can sing. You've got talent. I didn't knew that" I said stunned. She blushed. "Well I'm not that good" she said. "Yes you are. Don't talk yourself down you multi talented princess of mine". She blushed even more. "We have arrived my lady" I said. She giggled. "Well lets go then my lord" she replied. "Wait one second please" I said. I hurried out of the car and walked to her door. I opened the door and gave her my arm. "Allow me my lady" I said and smiled. She giggled again "Thank you my prince charming" and she stepped out of the car. I gave her a soft kiss on the lips "You're gorgeous and I'm so glad your mine" I whispered in her ear. She blushed "Thanks" she said shy. We walked hand in hand into the beach club.

When we got in the club, the girl at the reception desk stood up and walked towards us. “Can I help you?” she asked politely . “Yes you can” I said. “I’ve made  lunch reservations”. “And on what name did you make the reservation” she asked. “Carter” I replied. The lady looked at her computer screen. “Ah yes, you can give me your coats. I’ll keep them safe in a private area” she said. We both took of our coats and gave them to her. She walked into another room. Kristen and I shared a look. I could see she was excited for what possibly was about to happen. I gave her a little kiss on her forehead. The lady came back from the other area. “You can follow me. I’ll show you two your table” she said. We walked up the stairs and there was a sign “private area – only staff allowed”. We went through the door and there it was. A romantic room, a table for 2 and a stunning view. You could look all over the beach and the sea.  “Wow, Nick this is so beautiful” she sighed as she walked toward the window to look outside. I walked over and stood behind her. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her soft little kisses in her neck. “I love you” she whispered. “I’m sorry, maybe it’s too early to say that to you” she said. I quickly laid my finger on her lips. “Shhht, don’t apologize honey. There were several moments, the last few days, where I wanted to tell you the exact same thing” I said. And I turned her around so she had to face me. “I love you Kirsten. I really do. And yes it scares me. But we’ll see how this is going to work out. All I can do is listen to my feelings and my heart and body are screaming for you. I mean it” I said as I looked into her eyes. I kissed her. Right at that moment a waiter came in. “Excuse me mister Carter, are you ready to have the champagne lunch? He asked. I looked at Kristen “Are you ready sweetie” I asked. “Yeah, I am” she said being shy. The door opened again and there it was. Our royal champagne lunch. There were sandwiches, pancakes, fresh fruit, whip cream, strawberries, smoked salmon, croissants, French pastry, Champaign of course and chocolate. I wanted to make sure that the girl of my dreams had everything she desired. “Oh my God, Nick” she laughed “wow, do you want me to gain weight do you?” she said cheerful. “No honey but I figured that this would be the ultimate girl desire. And since I want to be the one who you  desire most  I thought it would be for the best if we already started to take care of what you desire” I said teasingly. I took a strawberry and took it through the whipped cream. I brought the strawberry to her mouth and she took a bite. There was still a little cream left over on her lips. I glazed at her and brought my lips towards her and used my tongue to lick the cream of her lip. I could see in her eyes that this was the right move. She gave me a turned on look. I softly gave her little kisses on her lips. I noticed that she was eager to get more. My lips kissed her and I pushed my tongue into her mouth looking for her tongue to dance. The kiss became sensual and I heard a soft groan coming out of her mouth. God, that turned me on. The kiss got more heated on and I gently pushed her toward one of the walls in the room. “Nick” she whispered “what if someone walks in on us”. “Don’t worry about that gorgeous, I gave the staff special instructions not to disturb us” I whispered in her ear. And we went on kissing. After a couple of minutes I heard her stomach rumble.  I laughed “hey I heard that, are you hungry?” I asked. “Yeah I am” she admitted. We got lunch and ate all these nice things. We had great conversations about all sorts of subjects. “Do you want to come and look at my show tonight?” I asked. “Ow, I’m sorry sweetie, but I have to work” and she gave me an apologizing look. “Work?” I asked. “You work on weekdays right?”. “Yeah, that’s right but I also have to work once every two Saturdays. You see I’m a professional dancer in a club” she said. I was shocked. I didn’t knew this. “But why didn’t you tell me?” I asked her. I felt that I god upset about it. “It’s not a big deal, really” she said. “Not a big deal, how do you mean? Are you a stripper or an exotic dancer?” I raised my voice a little. “No, no, you’ve got it all wrong. I don’t do stuff like that. I dance. Normal dance routines just like you do with the Backstreetboys. Sometimes it’s a bit sexy but not in a trashy way. I do this together with a friend. Once every two weeks there’s a mystery guest performing at  our club. And before, during the break and after the show we have to dance on a song to keep the audience in the right cheerful mood” she explained. “Ok” I sighed “I understand, sorry if I overreacted a little” I said. “In wich club do you work?” I asked. “I work in “The Zone” down town” she said. “Really” I laughed. “That’s funny because I have to perform there tonight” I said. “Really?” She smiled. “Yeah really, so I guess you are going to see me show tonight” and I gave her a blink.

Kristen:

Around 3:30 in the afternoon Nick dropped me off at my house. I had to go back for AJ. He desperately needed a walk. Nick didn’t came along with that walk. He had to go home for his dogs and after that he had to eat and then head over to “The Zone” to get ready for his show tonight. It gave me time to clean up a little around the house  and to pay attention to AJ. I threw sticks and he collected them and brought them back. After a half hour we got back and I warmed up a left over that I’d saved in the fridge. I had pasta with pesto, broccoli, tuna and crème fresh. My favorite food. After dinner I got upstairs to my bedroom and packed my trolley. I packed the clothes I had to wear tonight. Both Jenna and I were going to wear a black tank top, white short skirt and black and white sneakers. 

I didn’t know if Nick would feel comfortable with me dancing so sexy tonight, but all the eyes would be on him tonight. So hopefully he wouldn’t notice. I received a text:  Hi babe, I want you to know that I’m looking forward seeing you dance tonight! Love you xxx Nick

I texted back: And I’m looking forward on watching you all night long. I’ll dance only with you in my mind. Love you too xxx Kristen.

I smiled. He was great. So sweet and such a hunk. It was time for me to go to the club. I jumped into the car and drove off to the club. When I got there Nick sat at the bar enjoying a cup of coffee. When his eyes met mine my heart jumped. I smiled and walked towards him. “Hi babe” Nick smiled and kissed me on my lips. I blushed. Nick noticed and grinned. “Are you getting shy, sweetie? “. “A little” I mumbled. He laid his hands on my hips and gave me his famous puppy – eye look. I melted. Suddenly the club owner, Tom, walked by. “Hey Kristen, how are you” he asked. “I’m doing great thanks, and you?”. “Me too” he said. “But ehm, is there something I should know” Tom gave me a blink. “Yeah, well I guess there is” I said. “Nick and I are in love” and I looked Nick in the eye. Tom smiled. “Well, I’ll let you two lovebirds alone for a couple of minutes, but please no sex on the bar. There are guests coming tonight and the cleaning lady just left” he said quasi serious. Nick and I burst into laughter. “Don’t get me on ideas bro” Nick said to Tom. Tom smiled and went through another door. “So Honey” Nick whispered teasingly in my ear “I think it’s for the best if you went underneath the bar and gave me a little something”  and he licked his lips, probably to turn me on. I gave him my quasi shocked look “Oh .. My.. God” I said. “Mister  Carter, that is an insult. I’m not a slut” I said posh and I stepped back to walk away from him. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. His face were  really close to mine. He gave me a horny look. “I know you’re not. You’re my queen and tonight I’ll give you the royal treatment” he whispered in my ear. He turned me on so bad. I caressed his manhood, over the fabric of his pants, for a brief moment.  Suddenly the door opened again. Tom walked back in. He was talking over the phone and he walked behind the bar. Nick stared at me and bit his lip. He whispered “You are so lucky he came in.  I’ll so make you scream tonight” and he sneakily caressed his hand  underneath my skirt , over my “kitten”. My breath stopped for a second. “I’m looking forward to that, mister Carter” I whispered and licked my lips to tease him.  Then Jenna came in. She smiled when she saw us and she introduced herself to Nick. We chatted a little and we took off to our dressing rooms. I got changed into my dancing outfit. We both looked hot in it. I changed my make – up and we walked back into dancing area. People had already entered and groups of people were standing everywhere. Jenna and I both took place on two different stages in front of the main stage. I saw Nick sneaky taking a peek from backstage. He got me in his vision and his eyes grew large and a naughty grin appeared on his face. He pointed his finger at me, after that pointed back at him and then he made a thrusting move. I gave him a naughty smile and slowly let my tongue slide over my upper lip and blinked.     
 
Suddenly the music went on. Me and Jenna began our dance routine on “NKOTB ft. Nicole Scherzinger  with “Grown Man”. We gave the crowd our best and they went banana’s. Jenna and I gave each other , while dancing, our “famous” turned on look and licked our lips while doing that and went on “mirror dancing”. We both made a quick turn to the main stage and there he was. Behind the curtain, only visible for me, secretly looking at me. I don’t know if it was because of him but I felt so secure about myself during that performance. I felt like he was the only one I was dancing for at that moment. My goal was to turn him on. And by the watch of him staring at me with lust in his eyes and a “I like what you are doing” look it became clear to me that my goal had been achieved. He took his hand to his mouth, licked the tips of his fingers (index, middle and ring finger). He lowered his hand and made a “pussy caressing” move. I had to force myself into staying focused on our performance. After the song ended the crowd cheered real loud for us. Then it happened. “Ladies and gentleman, our mystery guest for this evening Is Taking Off. Give it up for Nick Carter” the DJ cheered. The crowd went nuts. It seemed that his fans had found out that Nick would perform tonight because they were screaming just like the fans would do during BSB concerts. Me and Jenna got of our stages and took our places at the bar. Tom made sure we had two good seats so that we could catch our breath and had something  to drink before our next song.  Nick started the night with “Burning up”. The whole place went crazy and everyone was dancing and singing. After that he did a BSB song and right behind he did another three songs of the album. Everybody (including me) knew the lyrics of his songs. “I would like to dedicate the next song to a very special person in my life” Nick told the audience. And they screamed and cheered. “You guys probably all know this one. Kristen, this one is for you babe” he said and looked my way with his dazzling smile and the crowd even cheered louder.  The music started and he sang:

(Special – Nick Carter)

She makes me wanna fly
Both feet on the ground
Takes me to this place
I don't want to come down
(Down, down, down)
Gives me something fresh
Someone that is real
separate from the rest
Makes me wanna feel

I got the perfect imitation
To a world that is full with smiles
With our spirits free and wild
Mmm
But it's a bittersweet sensation
'Cause I'll never have her heart

No matter how I try
She's always on my mind
At night, everyday
And with every breath I take
On the way
She'll make a grown man cry
With one look deep into her eyes
outrageous, make you crazy, it's amazing
She's special
She's special
So special
She's special
She's special
She's special

Yea-ah

Footprints on the sand
Hear the ocean crash
Underneath the moon
Walking hand in hand
Shadow by my side
Wishing you were mine
Keep you in my dreams
Locked deep inside

I got the perfect imitation
To a world that is full with smiles
With our spirits free and wild
Mmm
But it's a bittersweet sensation
'Cause I'll never have her heart

No matter how I try
She's always on my mind
At night, everyday
And with every breath I take
On the way
She'll make a grown man cry
With one look deep into her eyes
outrageous, make you crazy, it's amazing
She's special

Oh, I swore to you girl I will follow
I know some day you'll want me
When you're not so cold and lonely
I'll be the whisper in your ear
If ever you should call me
I'll be here

No matter how I try
She's always on my mind
At night, everyday
And with every breath I take
On the way
She'll make a grown man cry
With one look deep into her eyes
outrageous, make you crazy, it's amazing
She's special
She's special
So special
She's special
She's special
She's special

Yea-ah

She's special
She's special
So special
She's special
She's special
She's special

Nick gave me Goosebumps with that song. And especially now that he had sang this one for me. 

After the song ended the crowd cheered real loud for him. Teddy bears and roses got thrown on the main stage and flashes of camera’s where visible throughout the club. “I’m going to take a short break but I’ll be back for you girls. And I promise you that I’ll give you all the sweet love you want” Nick said teasingly to the crowd and again they all cheered and screamed their lungs out. Nick got of stage and that was our sign to get back to our places for the next song. The rest of the night was great. The crowd was fantastic and everybody had a great time. At the end of the show Nick received a well earned standing ovation from the crowd. Nick went behind the curtain again and stood there while  watching me and Jenna doing our final dance. The club slowly got less crowded and within ten minutes we were done for the night. Jenna had to work for a couple of hours as a bartender but I had the rest of the night off. I got through the door behind the bar and walked to my dressing room. On my way over there I looked for Nick but I didn’t see him. I felt disappointed. I sneaky hoped that he would have waited for me right behind the door of the bar, but he didn’t. I sighed. I walked further down the hall and opened the door of my dressing room. I turned on the light and closed the door behind me. Suddenly I felt a hand over my mouth and another hand stroking my breasts and upper body. His lips touched my neck and his warm body pressed against mine. “Finally I have you all for myself” Nick whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes. “You want some grown man hey? I’ll give it to ya” he whispered. He turned me around and kissed me passionately. He slowly guided me to the point where I was standing against the wall, next to the door. I heard the click of the door getting locked.

He gently pulled my top over my head and he took my bra of in one single move while kissing me. His warm and soft hands caressed my back and I felt goose bumps coming up. His lips, slowly kissing me, went from my lips to my neck. His hands were all over me and he, as he came down to my breasts, licked my nipples. They instantly became hard and so sensitive that I groaned softly. Nick stopped for a second “Do you like it babe? “ he asked hoarse. He looked at me with a naughty gaze.  “Hell yes” I sighed. He continued to lick and suck my nipples. And, while I was drowning in ecstasy, I felt his hand on my pussy. “Oh God” I moaned. He gently rubbed my clit. I wanted him between my legs, right now. “Oh Nick, f*ck me” I whispered. Nick grinned. “Patience sweetheart” he whispered in my ear. I felt two fingers entering my shaft. He slowly trusted his fingers up and down while rubbing my clit with his thumb. I started to pant. “Is everything ok?” he asked with a low sensual voice. “ Yes, oh baby yeah” I panted. He got me so wet. I felt an orgasm was on his way. I tried to hold myself to something.  My hands where touching the wall to get a hold on. There was a coat rack hanging on the wall, that I grabbed.  While one hand was cherishing my pussy the other one was massaging my breasts. God that felt good. I groaned softly. He gave me a dazzling kiss on top of it. He stopped kissing me and after a couple of seconds his thumb stopped rubbing. He went on with the trusting his fingers inside me. “ Oh God, Nick what are you doing to me”  I sighed. “ Ah, oh God yes. Just right there”  I groaned. Suddenly I felt this wonderful sensation of his soft tongue stroking my clit. My panting and groaning became a little louder. I couldn’t take it anymore. “ Oh please, f*ck me, this is torture” I said with a hoarse voice. Nick continued licking and trusted me a little faster and harder. My orgasm arrived. I had to force myself not to scream, anyone could hear us. My body rocked a little during my orgasm. After I had come Nick looked at me with that horny look only he could gave. His tongue touched his upper lip for a brief moment, then his front teeth touched his down lip for a short moment “ You want some grown man right, I’ll give you some grown man, girl. I’m going to let you beg me to stop” he said hoarse. He opened and unzipped his jeans and dropped them on the floor. He took off his shirt and his gorgeous hot six-pack really turned me on even more. I slowly caressed my hands all over his body. With my tongue I followed my hands. His warm hands were caressing my head and hear. I turned circles with my tongue and slowly licked his nipples. Nick closed his eyes and groaned. I got lower to a point where my mouth gently started sucking his manhood. It already stood up and with the soft touch of my mouth and tongue he became even harder. Nick panted. “ Oh God Kristen, where did you learn this? You’re good”  he groaned while I sucked him. Suddenly he forced me to the ground on the carpet. He gave me a long sensual kiss and finally, finally, he worked his manhood inside me. While he entered me I groaned “ Oh yes”. I immediately started gasping. He trusted slowly and gasped to. My nails slowly got in his back. He trusted harder and faster and I went crazy. I couldn’t stay silence anymore and I started groaning hard. Suddenly he, while trusting me, pressed his thumb softly on my clit and started rubbing it. I thought that I was going to lose is. How many orgasms could a girl have. After a short while me and Nick both reached the highlight of our orgasms. “Ah” Nick groaned as he came and after a couple of last firm trusts he laid down beside me. “ That was amazing”  I said softly, while stroking his back. “ Thanks princess, but you are the one who really was amazing. You turn me on so badly. You don’t have a clue” he sighed.     

Nick:

My phone went off, while laying on the floor with Kirsten still caressing and massaging my back. My jeans where right beside me and I picked up. “Carter” I said. “Hey bro’ it’s me Howie”. “Hey man, how are ya”. “I’m good thanks, and you”. I looked at Kirsten and smiled “I’m very good” I blinked at her. Howie didn’t asked any further about it. “Listen up, I told you that  AJ and Rochelle and me and Leigh had rented a cottage nearby you and Brian right?”. “Yeah, you did” I said. “Well, tonight we  want to go out clubbing and I wondered if you feel like coming with us” Howie asked. “Oh, okay well for me it’s cool, but I have to discuss this with Kirsten” I said. “Ah, so that’s her name” Howie said cheerful. “She is absolutely more than welcome to join us” he said. I held the phone low and put my hand on the speaker. “Honey, Howie and his wife Leigh, want to go out clubbing tonight. And AJ and Rochelle are joining him. And he called to ask if I’d feel like coming too. I think this could be fun” I said. I saw her looking a little disappointed. And I didn’t understand why exactly she was disappointed. “Howie, I’ll call you back in five minutes ok?”. “Sure, talk to ya in a sec” he said and hung up. 

I looked at Kirsten. “Hey sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why  are you looking so disappointed?” I asked. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She looked at the ground. I cupped my hand underneath her chin and gently forced her to look at me. I couldn’t stand to see her like this. “I know it’s not my business in what you do in your free time but” she spoke up with her beautiful soft sweet voice. “Well, I was hoping that you and I, you know, would be together tonight” she said softly.  “But, of course, I completely understand you want to go clubbing. And you don’t have to discuss anything with me. I mean, I don’t own you and all and” and I kissed her. I pressed my lips on hers and gently pushed my tongue between her lips and teeth and I gave her the most intense and loving kiss I ever gave to a woman.  I stopped the kiss and smiled at her. “I’m so happy to have you, do you know that” I asked with a big smile. She stared at me, not understanding what I was talking about. “Sweetheart, Howie wants you to come with me too” I said. “And I think it’s going to be fun. I’ll introduce you to them and they get the chance to get to know you” I said and kissed her on her lips. She smiled. “I would like that” she said with a soft voice. “I’m going to give Howie a call now” I said. “Wait, I have to go home first to shower and take AJ out for a walk” I said. “And what about your dogs?” Kirsten asked. “Oh, Angel, my sister, picked them up a couple of days ago to take care of them” I explained. “I’ll pick them up tomorrow. And I have already showered and got changed after my performance in my dressing room. So I’ll drive right behind you to your house, than you can take a shower and change your outfit, and I’ll walk AJ. How does that sound?” I asked. Kirsten smiled “That sounds perfect baby” she said. I called Howie to say that we joined them and we agreed to meet each other in an hour and a half at my place. Howie said he’d order a 6-person taxi (probably a mini-van)  and they would drive to Kirsten’s place to pick us up. After that, we got our things and both drove off to her house. When we came in the house I quickly got AJ his leash on, grabbed Kirsten’s keys, and took him for a half an walk. Kirsten immediately went upstairs to take a shower. While walking I was thinking about this last week. It’s funny how life can take new meaning in an instance. Exactly one week ago I didn’t knew who Kirsten was. One week ago I was a single man, disappointed in love and not looking for it all. And now here I was, walking AJ. The most adorable dog in the world with Kirsten, the most beautiful girl in the world. And she was into me. Of all people, she wanted me. If she wanted to, she could have every man she wished for but no, she wanted me. Nick Carter, mister not so very interesting. Adored by my fans, but not able to meet a sweet, normal, girl who wasn’t interested in my fame or money, but loved me for me. AJ wagged his tail and sniffed at grass. He peed against a tree and we walked further. After half an hour we got back at Kirsten’s house and I used her keys to open her front door. I easily could get used to this. Entering our house, with my own set of keys. Living with her, it would be awesome. Being with her every day and night. “Slow down Nick” I grinned. I opened the door and walked inside.
 
Kirsten:
 
I walked out of the shower and dried my body with a large, soft, white towel. I wrapped my hair in a smaller towel. In my mind I was reliving today. I chuckled. Nick was now walking AJ so that I could get ready for tonight. About a week ago I was a single girl. And now I'm dating the most gorgeous man in the entire world. Amazing how things can change in an instant. I didn't knew love could be like this. It was so intense. Honestly I've never been in love like this before. Thinking about it let loose the butterflies in my stomach again. Gosh I was really head over heels. I looked in the bathroom mirror and smiled. I had the NKOTBSB - song Don't Turn Out The Lights playing on my I-Phone. I did a small part of my happy dance. So embarrassing but so much fun, lol. I made the "stir the kettle" move. ....Instantly you love me like that... I sang along. "Oh lord, Nick must never find out about that, so embarrassing" I chuckled out loud. I got my underwear on, a black basic hipster and a matching bra, and walked to my large closet. It was made out of Oakwood with a large mirror on one of the closet doors. The other one had a heart carved out in the wood. The closet stood at the right wall next to the bathroom door. I opened the door and was thinking about what to wear tonight. 
 
I chose to wear a dark denim mini - skirt, a black 3/4 legging, a black v-neck Wylee t-shirt and a pair of black killer heels with little strass stones on the heels. I had the clothes stalled out on my 2-personbed with beige sheets and satin brown pillows. As soon as I got this house I completely redecorated it all. The house was now exactly my taste. I had a soft beige carpet on the floor and one wall was a red brown mix. The other walls had a soft white tone. The bed was at the left wall from the bathroom. At the other side of the room I had doors of glass that led to the balcony. I had a really nice view from that point.

I heard the front door and the sound of a chain falling on the soft light brown tiles in the hallway.

Immediately after that I heard the sound of AJ's paws running fast to the kitchen for a dog cookie and Nick's footsteps following him. I chuckled. My mind wondered of to the point where I imagined having him at my side every day. As in living together. I knew it was way too early to think about this stuff but it felt so good fantasizing about it! He was marriage material. I know, I know, too soon to tell but hey don’t blame me, I’m love. I heard footsteps coming on the stairs. My heartbeat got faster. Oh oh, I didn’t had make up on. Shit, I thought. Too late, the door got open an there he was.

Oh my God. How could it be that, every time he got in my eye sight, I completely was mesmerized by the look of his appearance. Butterflies were having a blast in my stomach again. He stood in the doorway and the moment I caught his sight he stopped and stared for a moment.

“you look so hot” he said with a low sensual voice. I blushed. He walked up to me and gently wrapped his arms around me. He pulled my body close to his. My knees got week. “you are making me crazy, princess” he whispered in my ear. His soft lips touched mine and I felt his tongue entering my mouth. He made me crazy. I gave him a soft groan. The kiss got more fierce and we got down on my bed on top of my clothes. I was on top. I kissed him sensually and slowly rubbed his manhood with my love spot, still wearing my hipster. I could feel his instrument rising up quickly. His hands caressed my back and ass and the touch of his fingertips made me so hot. He sure made me really wet now. I needed satisfaction soon. I went on with my “lower body massage” and gave him a naughty kiss. The kind of kiss you would see in an adult movie. My tongue played a sensual game in his mouth with only one goal. And that was to turn him on. He immediately answered by giving the hottest kiss ever. My God I wanted him so freaking bad. I could hear a low groan coming from his mouth. “What are you up to baby” he whispered. He looked at me with that horny glaze. “I bet you want to know hey” I said teasingly. My hand went between his legs and continued the massage of that body part while kissing him. Nick closed his eyes and I could feel him grow. I stopped the kiss “You like that, don’t you” I said softly. “Yes” he said with his low sensual voice “I do”. “I want you to to…” and I started unbuttoning his black blouse and with the tip of my tongue I started massaging his neck all the way down to his masculine breast “sit back, relax and let me do my thing” I said teasingly. I got both of my legs on each side of him and sat down gently on his tool. My fingertips slowly caressed his stomach and breast and my tongue followed. His cock was real hard at this point. Like it would burst out of his black tight boxer. Nick got up and slowly pulled me down to him. His kiss made me go crazy “oh god” I moaned while kissing. He quickly got my bra of and his warm soft hands massaged my breasts while he still kissed me. “I want you now” he said with a low groan. I gave him a teasing smile. “Patience hun” I said. I broke loose from his arms and I got myself of the bed. “Are you stopping now” he said disappointed. “No, baby don’t worry” I comforted him. I got his boxers of in a quick move and pulled his legs out of each other. I started giving little kisses to his cock and followed with licking little circles. “You are so bad” he sighed. “I know, I’m sorry” I teased while caressing his upper legs and balls. I got his instrument in my mouth and sucked it until he was almost at that point of an orgasm. He moaned. “Ow come on, this is torture babe”. He grabbed me with his strong arms and in a quick turn he had me underneath him. “I am going to make you pay for this” he said. “Is that a treat of a promise” I whispered. “What do you want it to be” he whispered back. I gave him a horny sight. “I want you to give me all you’ve got. I want you to give me the best ride ever.  Let me feel you’re a bad boy Nick” I whispered in his ear. With his mouth he got rid of my hipster and he licked his tongue from my ankle to the inside of my thigh. I moaned. “Nick, please…”. He grinned “You requested me to be bad. You should be careful what you wish for”. He continued his quest until he reached my G-spot. “Oooh” I sighed softly. He slowly licked up and down while two fingers entered my shaft and started trusting me slowly. “Ow Baby, aah” I sighed. He got another finger inside me and trusted a little faster. “Oh my God” I whispered and I sighed faster and moaned louder. He danced his tongue over my G-spot and with one hand trusting me the other one made sure that I couldn’t move. He made me wild. I felt a real big intense orgasm coming up. “ow, ah, aaah. Oh baby” I sighed. He went on and I felt I couldn’t hold back any longer. I had an amazing orgasm. He deliberately continued licking me longer so my body shocked a couple of times. He got on top of me and entered me with force. “Oooh yes” I sighed. He groaned while speeding up his trusting. He quickly worked me to a second orgasm. While trusting me harder and faster he worked me up to a third orgasm and at that time his orgasm arrived and we both came together. After he was completely empty he laid down beside me and took a deep breath. “Honey, that was, without a doubt awesome” he said. “It definitely was” I replied. He pulled me against him and we laid there for a couple of minutes.

Nick:

Wow, that was, without a doubt, amazing. I didn’t knew how she did it but she totally knew how to give me the royal treatment . I laid next to her, on her bed, taking a moment to chill out(her bed was very comfortable by the way, lol). I gently caressed her naked back with my fingertips. Her smell, so sweet, made me smile. What a woman.  She sighed. “Sweetie, we should get ready now, Howie can be here any second” she said. I nodded. “I think your right, babe” I replied with a shrug. I got up from her bed and stretched out. I grabbed my grey boxer from the floor.  I grinned “I almost forgot but I love the way you decorated your house”. She smiled “Thank you, I should give you a grand tour through the rest of my house soon” she said with a naughty tone in her voice. I gave her a big naughty smile back “Now that’s a great idea princess. And ehh, will that tour have the same “content?” I asked and blinked. “Maybe, I can’t promise anything” she said teasingly “but for now, I’m going to get dressed babe. Come on, hurry” she pushed me. I saw how she got up from her bed and I glanced at her naked body. She was gorgeous. If we had time enough I swear we could repeat the love making all night long. But time wasn’t on our hands so I had to get myself ready. I walked into her bathroom. “Honey” I raised my voice a little. “Yeah, what’s up” she yelled back. “where do you keep your towels”. “Ow wait up, I have them in my closet. I’ll bring you one” she replied. A couple of seconds later she came into the bathroom with two washcloths and a towel. We both refreshed ourselves. I looked in the mirror and tried to fix my hair a little. I was lucky that she had styling gel and a rough comb so I could fix my hair.

It wouldn’t have been a problem at all but I didn’t feel like walking to the car at that moment.  I had an extra toiletry bag in my car with toothpaste, toothbrush, comb, styling gel, shaving gel etcetera. My glasses of course. Yes ladies, I have glasses. I wear contact lenses and for the night I have glasses
(I’m not the mister perfect you all think I am. I’m only human sorry). Whenever I wasn’t on tour, and I had gigs in the neighborhood, I made sure that I always had a travel bag with an extra pair of clean clothes, shoes, socks and underwear and my toiletry bag too, in my car. It’s a precaution for whatever might happen. It often happened that I’d go out after the show or that I stayed over at one of the guys. I guess this is a left over from all the years of touring with the guys. Whenever we are on tour we live out of suitcases and travel bags and after 19 years I guess you could say that I’m a master in practical touring.     

Kirsten wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a strong hug. She kissed me on my back and massaged my shoulders a little. “Ow, that feels good” I sighed while Goosebumps run over my back and arms. “Thank you” she said softly. She kissed my back again and walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom. From the corner of my eye I saw her getting dressed and fixed her make – up. I gave one last look in the bathroom mirror and walked into the bedroom myself. I picked up my dark blue jeans and navy-blue t-shirt and put in on. I grabbed my black blouse from the floor and worked myself in it. While I was buttoning up my blouse, I saw her bend over in her mini skirt. She tried to put on her shoes. “Princess, I hope you are aware of the fact that it’s  dangerous to bend over like that while I am in the same room at that point?” I said quasi serious. She gave me a naughty look and wiggled her beautiful booty a little and smiled. “No, I wasn’t” she sighed “but thank you for warning me” she said naughty. I walked up to her and pulled her close. “You are making me crazy” I whispered in her ear. She kissed me and pinched my ass. Ding – Dong… The doorbell rang. AJ barked, downstairs. “I’ll, take that as a compliment” she said. She grabbed her purse and we got downstairs. 

I opened the door and let Howie in. Kirsten was standing in the hallway also, ready and waiting for us to leave to the club. “Hey man, how are you” I said cheerfully. I gave him a hug. “I’m fine thank you. And you?” he asked. I’m fine too” I said. “Great” Howie said. He looked in Kirsten’s direction.  “You must be Kirsten?” he said and he walked up to her. He shook her hand. “Hi I’m Howard, but feel free to call me Howie” he said. “I’m Kirsten” she said “nice to meet you” she said. He gave her a hug. “So you are the reason why Nick isn’t as focused lately as he should be?” he asked serious. I smiled and Kirsten got shy and blushed. “I guess so” she said. “I’m sorry for that, It was never my intention to cause problems’’ she said. “Ow don’t be. I was just kidding” Howie smiled. “We’ve all been through that. One of the traditions, when girlfriends are introduced, is to tease them and make them feel sort of guilty that they make their boyfriend less focused as they should be. But it’s all just teasing. So don’t worry okay?” He grinned. Kirsten smiled “Okay, I’ll promise” she said. “Shall we go” I asked, and I looked at both Howie as Kirsten. “Sure, let’s go” Howie said. We walked outside and Kirsten closed the front door and locked it. We walked to the cab and went inside.

In the mini – van she got introduced to AJ, Rochelle and Leigh. They were really nice to her. During the drive to the club we chit-chatted about all sorts of things. Kirsten told about her past and that she’d lived in Holland before she came the USA. She also told about her study here in the USA and about the differences between the Dutch culture and the American culture. I noticed that especially AJ was really interested. Howie and Leigh also but AJ was the one who dropped the most questions. Rochelle never had visited the Netherlands but she was really interested in the culture and the typical Dutch things. AJ promised her to show her Amsterdam, as soon as they got the chance. Kirsten offered them to come to the Netherlands in winter time. Especially in Hindeloopen, which was part of the Eleven City skating tour when it was cold and the waters where all frozen, you could skate for miles and miles. And she told them that the most nicest thing was that you skated over the frozen water and then you could, on your skates, enter some bars for coffee or to eat. And during these periods of freezing cold weather, alongside the waters, there were lot’s people who sold coffee and tea and things like that while people where skating on the waters. In Hindeloopen you had the feeling that you went back in time. It was like you stepped back into an old postcard. Awesome.

 I joked around that when there was ice, this winter, the four of us should go to the Netherlands to skate part of the Eleven City tour. I noticed that Kirsten and AJ were very enthusiastic about it. I smiled. I didn’t knew if I was really up for that. I’m not a cold weather fan. And I wasn’t a star on ice skates also. Kristen told us that she, as a child, had ice skate lessons. She also skated in competitions. But that was before she went to the USA. I chuckled, the last time I had been skating was with Brian. He challenged me for a competition and after five minutes I’d hit the ice three times and I promised myself never to do this again. After an hour full of falling down, hitting the ice really hard and feeling, and looking, like a complete moron I decided that this was the last time I ever got my feet on ice, again. I was grateful for the fact that in that period the cell phone’s where just about to rise up. And  there were no camera’s on them yet and, thank God, that this awkward happening hadn’t been taped. But of course, Kristen didn’t need to know this. It was embarrassing enough that the guys knew about this.  The only bad thing about being a part of a nineteen year old band is that the guys knew almost everything about you. The embarrassing stuff included. And of course Howie began telling her about that day and told her about me literally facing the ice more then I intended to. They all laughed really hard after that story and at that moment I wished that I could disappear in the ground.  “Thanks for reminding me bro’, I almost forgot about it” I said with a sour smile. “You’re welcome” he said with a naughty smile and laughed with AJ. “Ahh guys, come on. Don’t pick on him” Rochelle said. “Thanks Rochelle, at least you are a real friend” I said quasi sad. “Ahhh” Leigh said and laid her hands on my shoulder. “We have to stop now guys, Kirsten might get the wrong impression of us. We are just teasing Nick a little, I hope you don’t mind” she asked Kirsten. Kirsten laughed “Oh no, I like to hear this stuff about him”. “Aha” AJ said with a smile “well I know some good stories about him. I’ll tell you some of these stories tonight okay” he said and blinked to me. I took a deep breath and laughed “You guys suck. You just want to embarrass me in front of her” I said. “Yep, you did that to me, Brian and Howie. And I’m a man who follows my word. I promised you that you would get it back. And now is the perfect time” AJ said with a dirty grin on his face. The others, including Kirsten, laughed about it. I chuckled. 

We finally arrived at the club after a forty five minute drive. We got out of the van and, after the driver gave Howie his cell number for when we’d like to go back, we went inside the club. Q was there with us. Our longtime bodyguard and close friend. He was like an older brother. Me and the guys grew up with him around and honestly, he was one of the most loyal and trustable persons in our lives. We’ve also had been in strange situations together. Fans trying to get in the tour busses, or in our hotel rooms. But also with the mass hysteria in the early years. It got to a point that there where thousands of fans hanging around the hotels we stayed and in the streets around them were  filled with thousands of fans. So when we tried to get in the hotels it sometimes was really dangerous. Or when we had to leave with our bus, the driver wasn’t able to drive because of the crowd being all over the bus. Banging on the door and the windows. There was a real danger that some fans could get under the bus.  Thank God that it wasn’t like that anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t want to miss it but it was crazy back then. Terrifying sometimes. We still had the most loyal fanbase ever. And our fans were great. The best in the world. And through the years that relationship improved. Everybody was older now. More responsible and in a way this relationship became more respectful. The fans respected our privacy more and maybe they learned that there is also a downside on being famous and being in the spotlight all the time. Besides all the great stuff and opportunities and all there was a downside to it. And besides the pressure one of them was the media trying to find dirt about you. That was still something that I hated. I had a sort of love – hate relationship with them. In one way they were great for promotional purposes but the dark side was that some journalist would make up stories. The last time that happened was when my sister died. Leslie died by taking an overdose of substance. Me and my family where devastated about it. My relationship with my family is sometimes complicated. But we talked everything through and we are fine now. And even though I didn’t went to Leslies funeral, due to some misunderstandings, my family  and myself, now understands why things happened that way. But suddenly there it was, the article in some gossip magazine were they wrote about me being selfish and all. They tried to make it look like as if I didn’t love Leslie and all. And that I didn’t went to the funeral because of my career and the tour being more important than her funeral. Normally I never took notice of these things except for this article. This article felt like a knife stabbed in my back. I honestly can’t understand why someone would write something like that. It was also the first time that an article made me burst into tears. But enough about that. I didn’t wanted to think about this anymore.

The good thing about the fans being mature was that now I could go and enter a restaurant or a beach, something like that, without having to fear for my life. And that’s nice. Of course I got recognized and all but it’s livable now. I can almost live my life like a normal person would. And that’s nice.   

I grabbed Kirsten’s hand while we walked to the VIP section. “I love you” I whispered in her ear. She gave me a dazzling smile. “I love you too” she whispered back in my ear. I kissed her in her neck. “Ah Honey, look at them” Rochelle squeaked at AJ. They walked right behind us. I grinned and looked behind me. AJ and Rochelle where walking right behind us. AJ wrapped his arm around Rochelle. “We can clearly see the chirpin’ of two lovebirds” AJ joked a little loud. We walked in the VIP section and I looked around a little. There were some people we knew but most of the crowd was unknown for us.  We ordered some drinks. The DJ played some good stuff and the atmosphere was great. Within the VIP section it was pretty crowded. It was one of the best known clubs in the neighborhood. It wasn’t all celebrity that walked around there. To get into the VIP section you had to pay extra money or you had to be a VIP-member. And we all where members except for Kirsten. But that wasn’t  a problem. She came with me as a guest, so that was cool. Kirsten chatted with Leigh and Rochelle. It seemed that they got along really well. It felt really comfortable. And of course Rochelle and Leigh were really nice to her, as usual. Rochelle was such a sweetie. She’s is a make – up artist and she toured with the group for a while before AJ and her got in their relationship. Rochelle is one of the sweetest persons in the world. So nice and kind, and always willing to do anything for you. With Leigh the same story. Although Leigh had a bit of Latino - spice in her. But that only made it more fun to hang around her.

We were dancing and having fun until I got tapped on my shoulder. Confused by instantly changed looks on the faces of AJ, Rochelle, Leigh and Howie I turned around and there she was. Brooke, my ex – girlfriend, with a couple of girls who were probably friends of her. My heart turned cold in instance when I saw her. “What do you want, Brooke?”I asked. “I… I just want a minute to talk to you” she said with that soft voice of hers. In the past I used to love that soft voice of her. Now it only reminded me at the way she treated me.

The way she used to lie to me about where she went and who she was with. I’d proposed to her, although nobody else knew about that. Before I had the opportunity to tell anybody about it I caught her with another guy. About 5 days after I’d proposed to her she  had a two day seminar in LA and that she had to stay over there for three nights in a hotel. She told me that she was a bit nervous about it all. And I decided to surprise her. I got 2 days off from work and went to LA, as a surprise, and got in the hotel. I should’ve sensed something at the reception desk because that guy gave me a strange look when I asked for Brooke. But I ignored that and went up to her room. I knocked on the door and I heard giggling inside. And for a second I thought that I heard a lower voice. But at that moment, standing in front of the hotel room door, I thought that must be the TV or something. I knocked again and the door flew open. And there he was. Half naked and with a bed head. “Who are you” he said. “Well, I guess I could ask you the same question” I said. “What the fuck are you doing in my fiancés hotel room” I asked surprisingly calm. I stepped inside and pushed that moron away from me. “Your fiancé?” he asked shocked. He turned around to Brooke. And for a second there she was, completely shocked to find me and him together in the same room. “Nick, eh sweetie, what are you doing here” she stuttered. “I came here to surprise you. But it looks like you don’t need me at all. Here, keep this consider our engagement off okay” I said with my heart pounding really fast. I took of my engagement ring and threw it through the hotel room. “But sweetie, I can explain…”. “Don’t you “sweetie” me Brooke. It’s over” I yelled. I turned around and walked out of the room. Things were all a blur from that moment. I walked outside the hotel and apparently the drive home went well because I got home safe without accidents. I can’t remember anything about that drive home. The only thing I remember is the pain that I felt. 

Undone - backstreetboys
Your Words Burn
They're Melting
What We Had
I'm Breaking Down

No Reason, No Warning
No Love Loss
You Might As Well...

Take Our Pictures Off The Walls Tonight
I Don't Wanna See You No More, I Don't Wanna Feel You No More
Take Our Memories, Throw Them All Aside
I Hope You Finally Get What You Want, Now You Know...

I Didn't Wanna Live Without You, I Didn't Wanna Love Without You
I Used To Think I'd Die Without You, Now It's Killing Me
That We Could Be Undone
I Can't Feel Without You, You Know I Can't Deal Without You
And Now I Got A Life Without You, And It's Killing Me
That We Could Undone

This Constant
Echoing In My Head
I'm Spinning 'round
You Seem So Unaffected
While I Go On In This Hell

Take Our Pictures Off The Walls Tonight
I Don't Wanna See You No More, I Don't Wanna Feel You No More
Take Our Memories, Throw Them All Aside
I Hope You Finally Get What You Want, Now You Know...

I Didn't Wanna Live Without You, I Didn't Wanna Love Without You
I Used To Think I'd Die Without You, Now It's Killing Me
That We Could Be Undone
I Can't Feel Without You, You Know I Can't Deal Without You
And Now I Got A Life Without You, And It's Killing Me
That We Could Be Undone

That We Could Be Undone
You're Talking Now And I'm Hearing Everything That You Say
And I'm Holding On As Gone Is The New Phrase And It's Dragging Me Along To My Grave...

You're Talking Now And I'm Hearing Everything That You Say
And I'm Holding On As Gone Is The New Phrase And It's Dragging Me Along To My Grave...

I Didn't Wanna Live Without You, I Didn't Wanna Love Without You
I Used To Think I'd Die Without You, Now It's Killing Me
That We Could Be Undone
I Can't Feel Without You, You Know I Can't Deal Without You
And Now I Got A Life Without You, And It's Killing Me
That We Could Undone

That night was probably the worst night I’d ever felt. I didn’t sleep at all. I was so angry, so hurt. I was devastated. How could she do this to  me. I cried my eyes out that night. I knew that I could call one of the guys or Aaron and that they immediately would come over but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see anybody at point. It was the longest night of my life. The next morning when the sun came up I threw all her stuff in a couple of boxes and threw them out in the garden. I knew it would be a rainy day that day but so what, screw her. She didn’t care about my feelings so why should I bother to care for her. I packed my bag and left off to Brian.

Of course she stalked me with phone calls, e-mails, text – messages, hand written letters which I threw in the garbage can without reading them etcetera. She even contacted the guys and my parents to come in contact with me. But I ignored her. I didn’t want anything to do with her. If somebody pulled me a stunt like that I didn’t feel obliged anymore to reason with them. After a while it turned out that this seminar wasn’t the only thing she lied about. A lot of dirt came up about her.

“You have nerve coming up to me like that. Now why, on earth, do you think that I want to talk to you” I snapped. “Listen Nick, I know things haven’t been all good between us but…” she said. “What are you talking about Brooke. I thought I made myself clear. You mean absolutely nothing to me anymore. I don’t know what excuses you want to give me about your behavior but I’m not interested. Now leave before I let you get thrown out by the security” I raised my voice. “Listen Brooke, I really think it’s best if you left” Howie said. He walked up to her and guided her outside of the club. I took a deep sigh and had a big sip of my vodka. I looked at Kirsten. She seemed in shock. “Who was that?” She asked. “My ex” I answered. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow ok. Things got really ugly between us. She cheated on me and I caught her while doing that. I’ll tell you the whole story tomorrow ok” I said being tired. “It’s okay baby. I love you” she said and she kissed me. I gave her a intense kiss back. Right at that moment, as if it was planned the next song came up;

loyd ft little wayn dedication to my ex

Hey ya
I came to talk about this girl that had my love it seems
I went away for a while
She gave my love away
I really shouldn't blame her
But now that pussy is a stranger

[Lloyd]
Baby, something's on my mind I gotta say it
Yeah, your pussy done changed
It's the same girl and that's a shame
(A crying shame baby)
Oooh, ain't being funny
I know another bee's been in that honey
Ooh, baby, her pussy done changed
It's such a shame girl and that's a shame
(Who the hell you giving my loving to girl?)

Oooh Nooo
Tell me where that pussy gone
Cause it don't feel the same
(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)

Oooh Nooo
(Why you do me like that baby)
Why is that happening to me
Oooh Nooo
She told me that it was not missing

(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)
Oooh Nooo
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
She, she used to be a really special lady
I guess she's feeling kinda freaky lately
It's such a shame cause now the pussy's changed
(Pussy changed)
She used to squeeze me
Grip me tight so she can please me
But now-now, that pussy changed

It's such a shame, that pussy changed
Oooh Nooo
Where did ya pussy go?
Cause girl, I need to know

(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)
Oooh Nooo

I'm about to kill it bitch
Oooh Nooo
She gave away all my money
(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)
Oooh Nooo
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Damn darling, do change your all?
I'm your number fan belt they are not important
I don't use a cordless, microphone avoiding
They don't feel real to me
Meaning real woman
Others spit on me
You the prima on the line, bean green box
When I couldn't afford a Ford
Clean socks scooting across the floor in your grandmama's house
Hand on your mouth
You yap too much about the penny henny
This mechanic is so uncanny
X-men, x-men, your ex-boyfriend should thank me that I took you off his hands
No, I can't bring another beach to the sand
And no, I am well aware that you can bring a man to his knees
And get what you need without saying please
But can you bring a man to his feet when defeat is on repeat
And they put this man's Grammy's on the street
What? Why so quiet?
Hate that all of our memories happened in a Hyatt
You were perfect before you went on a diet
You was way different, you think I don't remember
Shit, the magazine got to your head
Now somebody you don't even know got you in bed
Bet you bloodied on me, know you don't like red
Or was it fuchsia, fuck it, our future is dead

I thought a pussycat had 9 lives man...

Oooh Nooo
(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)
Oooh Nooo
She gave away all my shit
(I miss that pussy, that pussy, that pussy, that pussy)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I miss ya girl

(Fuck that bitch!)

We laughed and all had fun during that song. Me, AJ and Howie goofed around and so did the girls. It made my heart feel a little lighter again. The rest of the night we didn’t see her anymore.

After an hour of dancing and drinking, we went to the ultra modern lounge area, with large purple couches and a modern low, shiny, white tables. We ordered drinks and chilled out. I felt that the alcohol did his job. I noticed Kirsten got giggly too. She was so funny. And she fitted remarkably well in the group.  Everybody was tipsy at that point.
 
(Writers note: I know AJ in real life has had problems with substance abuse and all but lets pretend, in this story, he doesn't have these issues ok!)
 
Leigh asked if we'd felt like going wall-climbing together tomorrow, as a group activity. She'd already asked Kevin and Brian and they signed up for it. I knew Brian was scared of heights. I'm scared of heights too but if Brian decided to actually do the climbing thing people (and especially Kirsten) might think that I was a loser or something. So not climbing was definitely not an option for me. I wanted her to see me as her own strong, though and sexy man. Yes ladies, I know it's best to be honest and show my emotions and fears and all but I wanted to impress her so I didn't. I quickly discussed it with Kirsten and we decided to join them. They would pick us up at three p.m. So we had enough time to sleep and rest for the next day.

Kirsten:

I had a great time and Howie and AJ and their wives were so kind to me. It felt like I knew them for ages. The only thing that bothered me a little was that incident with his ex – girlfriend earlier that night. I didn’t had a good feeling about that but I decided not to let it spoil my night. I was glad that Howie guided her out of the club. I danced with Nick and AJ  and Leigh and Rochelle danced with Howie. After the dancing we went into the lounging area and we sat down for a while and ordered new drinks and talked (well goofed around is more appropriate). I had my purse on my lap.  I was pretty tipsy but fortunately I wasn’t the only one. I saw Nick looking at me with that horny glaze. I blinked at him and licked my lips to turn him on. Of course I did my best not to get noticed by the others and it worked. “Wait until we get home” he whispered in my ear. “And then what?” I whispered back. I turned to him and he quickly got his hand between my legs and stroked my “love” area. Wow. In an instance I got so turned on. “I don’t want to wait, I want you now” I whispered in his ear. “Ey you two, there are others around you, come on behave” AJ said. Everybody laughed loud.  “Later princess, I promise” and he blinked and gave me a little kiss. Nick’s phone started zooming on the table. It was Aaron. He was in front of the club and wanted to know where we were.  Nick told him that we were in the lounge area. After a couple minutes  Aaron came in with his sister Angel and her boyfriend. I got introduced to them and it clicked right away. Everybody chit – chatted and I listened to these different conversations. I really felt accepted by all of them. They treated me like I was one of them and that felt so good. Nick told Aaron and Angel about the encounter with Terry, earlier. They were shocked. “Wow, it’s unbelievable. I’m glad I wasn’t there” Aaron said angry. “Sad woman, really” Angel replied.

After we finished our drinks we got back to the dance floor. A couple of Latin pop songs were played and everybody danced. Howie and Leigh where doing an awesome Latin dance. I have had dance lessons myself so I knew how to do it. I did a piece from the dance on my own and Aaron quickly joined me. I saw Nick being looking very impressed. Aaron gave me a big smile. “I see you can do the Rumba” he smiled. “Yes, I can” I smiled. “Nice, I hope a rumba song will come along tonight” Aaron smiled and gave me a blink. Suddenly he walked up to the DJ. He asked something and came back. Suddenly I heard the intro of the Rumba version of Michel Telo – Ai Se Eu Te Pego. I looked at Aaron with an amazed gaze. He smiled and winked me with his index finger. If you know the movie Dirty Dancing than you know how it looked like. I walked up to him and we danced the Rumba. While dancing I saw Nick being completely amazed. “You are doing perfect” Aaron said cheery. “Thank you, you’re not a bad dancer yourself” I answered with a big smile. We stole the dance floor, together with Howie and Leigh and some other couples in the club. This was so much fun. Me and Aaron enjoyed the dance together. When the song ended he took my hand, bowed for me and kissed my hand. “Thank you” he said and hugged me. Nick walked up to us. “Amazing” he said “that looked awesome”. “Thanks sweetie” I smiled and gave him an intense kiss. Aaron smiled to me and Nick. “Your girlfriend sure knows how to dance. She’s talented” he said. “Thank you Aaron” I said. “I mean it. Listen I’m going to get something to drink. What can I bring for you?” he asked. “You can do me a sweet white wine” I said. “Me a vodka little bro’” Nick said. Aaron walked up to the bar. “Maybe I should get dance lessons too. Because I want to be the one to dance with you like that babe. ” Nick said in my ear. “Aaah” I squeaked “Are you jealous?”. “A little” Nick gave me sad look. “Aaah, baby” I squeaked and kissed him. “Maybe we can take dance lessons together” I suggested. “If you want to, sure” he said with a smile. “I’ll promise I’ll be as good as Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing” he said. “Sweetie, you are a Backstreetboy. You are way better than Patrick Swayze” I tried to cheer him up.

The rest of the night was great and we had much fun. In the early morning we finally got home. We immediately went to bed and I had to admit that falling asleep in Nick’s strong arms and his warm body against me was a fantastic experience.  It was the best night of sleep I ever had.

Nick:

The next morning I awoke at around 11 o’ clock. I woke up with the sweet smell of her scent in my nose. I kissed the back of her neck and I heard her moan a little. She didn’t woke up. I got out of bed being as silent as possible. I grabbed my glasses from the table next to my side of the bed. I grabbed my jeans and my t-shirt and went downstairs. I took a look in the mirror in the hallway to fix my hair a little. Of course AJ was really happy to see me. He had to go out and pee so he wagged his tail and jumped around at the front door. “Shhht” I said. He calmed down a bit. I got my shoes on, grabbed Kirsten’s keys and walked with AJ. After twenty minutes I got back and made breakfast for my sweetheart.  I baked a couple of croissants, made fresh fruit with whipped cream and made fresh Orange juice. The eggs where boiled and while I was waiting for the coffee to be ready I heard someone knocking at the door. AJ growled at the door. “Shhht” I said and send AJ into the living room. I opened the front door. A big, masculine, blond, suntanned surf dude stood there expecting Kirsten to open the door. He looked shocked when he saw me. “Eh, is Kirsten around?” he asked with this Australian accent. “Yeah, she is” I said a bit unfriendly “but she’s still asleep. So maybe it’s best to come back another time” I suggested (or not at all would be even better, I thought). “Let me introduce myself, I’m Kirk McCinnon. I’m a close friend from college” he said. “Okay, I’m Nick Carter. I’m her boyfriend” I said cocky. I saw his face frown a little and he gave me a surprised look. “Okay” he smiled with that Prodent smile of his. “ehm well please tell her I stopped by. And give her this bag okay? She left it at my place, the other night” he said with that annoying accent. “Tell her I call her tonight okay” he said and turned around and walked off to his car. I closed the door and walked back into the living room. What the hell was that? And what did that moron want from my girl. I was confused. I felt a bit insecure about it. Was there something that Kirsten forgot to tell me about?. I still had that plastic bag in my hands. I looked inside the bag and saw a lime green sexy bikini and a towel. What was that all about. I took a deep breath.

The coffee was ready and I loaded it all on a plate and walked up towards the bedroom. This didn’t turned out as I’d expected.

I got upstairs to the bedroom carrying the tray of breakfast. As I got in the bedroom I noticed that she was still asleep. I walked up to her and silently put the breakfast on the floor. I got the red rose from the tray. I turned around, bowed and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty" I said with a soft voice and held the rose in front of her face. I gently stroked her cheek with my hand. She woke up with a big smile. "Good morning, ahhhh sweetie, you got me a rose" she sighed and stretched out. She rubbed her eyes and tried to fix her hair a bit. "That's so sweet" she yawned. "Do I smell coffee?" she asked all surprised. "Yes. Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to" I said. "Ok" she giggled and closed her eyes. I walked up to the balcony doors and opened the curtains. "Keep your eyes closed baby" I said. I opened the doors and warmth and the sunshine came into the room. Birds where chirping loudly. "Sweetie, what are you doing?" she asked curious and with her eyes closed. "Eh, eh, you have to wait a little more" I said. I quickly got the table on the balcony ready for breakfast. It was a nice sunny morning. The tablecloth was on the table along with the plates, the coffee, fresh orange juice, the strawberries with cream, the pancakes and the croissants and marmalade and the boiled eggs.
 
I looked around me. The balcony had a couple of hanging and standing baskets with beautiful yellow, purple and pink flowers. It was the perfect place for a romantic breakfast.

I called Kirsten from outside “Sweetie, breakfast is ready” I said. She came outside and I saw her face lit up by what she saw. “Aaah baby” she squeaked and hugged and kissed me. “I love you sweetheart” I said. We sat down and started to eat breakfast. “Is there something wrong?” she asked after a while. ‘’Why do you think that?” I asked.”I don’t know. Something is bothering you” she said. I took a deep breath and told her. “Earlier this morning there was a guy at your door. A big surfing dude guy. And he asked for you”. She laughed out loud. “That is Kirk. I know him from college. He’s a close friend of mine” she explained. “Okay” I said. “Well he wanted me to give you a plastic. He said you’d left it the other day, at his place”. She looked at me. “That must be weird for you. I’ll explain what happened. Two weeks ago we, a couple of friends and I, went to a Spa. After that day we all stayed over at his place. The next day I got home and I realized that I’d forgot my bikini and my beach towel” she said. “Okay, cool” I said. “So what’s the story between you two? I mean, you know each other from University?” I tried to ask it as neutral as possible. I didn’t want her to know that I was a bit jealous about it. So she told me that in the past they dated each other a couple of times but it never worked out. She just wasn’t that into him. She wasn’t in love but he was. And that made her feel awkward about the situation during that time. At a certain point he fell in love with another girl and that was where the friendship started. He was like a big brother to her. Trying to protect her. But unfortunately for him his relationship went wrong a couple of weeks ago. And that’s why they decided to take him on a day filled with relaxation in a Spa.

I still didn’t feel all comfortable with him being around and being so close to her.

After a while we were both done with our breakfast. We quickly cleaned up and went into the bathroom. She took her pajama of. I couldn’t help but staring at her.”What’s wrong?” she asked worried. I walked up to her. “Did anybody ever tell you how gorgeous you are?” and I gave her an erotic kiss. She immediately answered by returning the kiss. She really knew how to turn me on. I quickly got naked, and took of my glasses. She turned the shower on. The sight of her bootie was breathtaking. So nicely shaped. Not too skinny, a bit firm. The perfect bootie for me. We both went under it. I grabbed her bottle of shower gel and did some of it in the palm of my hands. I slowly started massaging her shoulders and back. I saw goose bumps over her arms so I guess she liked it. I gently massaged further over her stomach and her breasts. I could feel her nipples getting stiff. My tongue followed the touch of my hands at her breasts. By the glaze in her eyes I could see that she definitely enjoyed the massage. I kissed her sensually. I felt that my little friend fiercely rose. Her hands touched my breast and stomach. I got her close to me and we made out. I made her turn around, so that she faced the wall. I gently forced her to bend over and she waited eagerly for what was about to happen. The water of the shower still running over our bodies was like an extra sensation. I slowly caressed my hand between her thighs. She moaned softly. It really turned me on to see her really enjoying my touch. She was one of the few women who really didn’t need hours of touching and rubbing before she reached an orgasm. I slowly pushed my manhood inside her hot and wet shaft. We both moaned at the same point. I slowly trusted her and I could feel that she was loving every second of it. While trusting her I went on rubbing her clit with my fingertips. She couldn’t stay silent anymore. Me neither, by the way. I trusted her faster and faster and harder. I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave her a couple of deep, hard trusts and she got her orgasm first and the feeling her getting all wet and her physical orgasm triggered mines. I groaned while coming. We ended by her leaning against the wall and me standing close behind her. I sighed in her ear “That was amazing, naughty girl”. She gave me an “please, do it to me again” look and gently pressed her bootie against my friend. I grinned. “If we had enough time I would babe. I promise I’ll give it to you soon okay?”. “Okay baby” she said with a soft voice and sighed out loud. “Wow mister Carter, that was amazing. You are the best”.

Kirsten:

We got out of the shower and dried each other with towels. We got dressed and made our selves ready for our climbing experience. I’d never climbed before and I didn’t knew if I dared too. Honestly, I was a bit afraid of heights. But I didn’t want Nick to know. I mean, he’s my prince charming and I didn’t want him to think that I was stupid or something like that.

Nick walked AJ (yeah I know, again). I guess he loved him because he’s always willing to walk AJ. But I had to admit that AJ was really fond of him. Every time Nick’s stopped by AJ went bananas. It’s really funny to see him being so happy. It’s like he did a happy doggy dance whenever Nick entered the house. Jumping and running all over the place. So much for the calm assertiveness, Lol. It felt like they really had a connection together. I’d definitely didn’t expected Nick to be such a sweetheart with dogs when I first met him. Of course, I had been a fan from day one but to actually date a Bacstreetboy is way different than imagined. I heard the door and Nick and AJ came in. Of course AJ ran into the kitchen for a dog biscuit. And Nick giggled. “He is so funny, I love that dog” he smiled. We got AJ enough food and water and we left to go wall – climbing.

During the drive to that indoor center we both were silent. We had nice music playing by Bon Jovi but I was a bit nervous about climbing. “Sweetie, would you mind if I.., no never mind” I sighed. He looked at me, worried. “Tell me, what’s wrong?” he asked. He laid his hand on my upper leg. ‘’Tell me” he asked again. “Okay, there is something that I didn’t tell you” I hesitated a little. “I am scared of heights. And… “ Nick lowered the sound of the radio. “I’m not sure if I want to climb today”. I took a deep breath. I was glad that this was of my chest. Nick gave me a loving smile. “I’m so glad you told me. Because I’m scared of heights too. Honestly I wasn’t intending to climb at all. I mean it’s not my thing really. I had to admit I was a bit nervous about it” he said. “Really?” I asked. He nodded. “But why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. “Well, that’s because I was a bit ashamed about it. I was afraid of what you  might think” he said with his irresistible soft voice. “Please, next time, be honest about it  okay. You must never be ashamed of your feelings sweetie. Next time remember that okay?” I asked. “I will” he was quiet for a short while. “ I’m sorry about not being completely open to you. I guess I’m still a bit afraid of you thinking that I’m a loser. I’m just not that kind of a daredevil, I’m sorry”. “Don’t be” I begged him. “Because I don’t think you are a loser. Honestly, you are one of the greatest and nicest guys I know. I love you” I said. He looked me deeply in the eye. “Ehm, sweetie, you have to keep an eye on the road” I mentioned worried. “Ow ehm yes” he said and paid attention to the road again. Another great song was on the radio.

Bryan Adams: I'm Ready songtekst

I'd like to see you, thought I'd let you know
I wanna be with you everyday
Cause I've got a feeling that's beginning to grow
And there's only one thing I can say

I softly sang along with the song.

I'm ready - to love you
I'm ready - to hold you
I'm ready - to love you
I'm ready - to hold you

I'm ready as I'm gonna be

You left me a long note when you left me here
Told me that love was hard to find
But baby it's easy and I'll make it clear
There's only one thing on my mind

Nick looked at me and gave me an air blown kiss. I gave him a big smile and softly caressed his upper leg for a short while.

I'm ready - to love you
I'm ready - to hold you
Baby I'm ready - to love you
I'm ready - to hold you
I'm ready - as I'm gonna be

We arrived at the indoor climbing facility. Nick parked the car and turned off the engine. He didn’t got out of the car immediately. He looked me deeply in my eyes. I felt the butterflies were flying around my stomach. He had such beautiful crystal blue eyes. I couldn’t stop looking at them. He brought his face close to mine. I could feel my heart pound faster. He was so close to me that I could smell his delicious scent. His soft lips touched mine. I had the feeling that the butterflies turned into a twister in my stomach. I answered his kiss and I pressed my tongue in his mouth. He smiled while kissing me. His hands cupped my face and we kissed deeply. Do you know the feeling of not wanting to stop kissing? Well I had that feeling. There was something about him. He could kiss like no one else could.       

A hard knock on the car window was the reason our kiss ended. We looked up and there was Brian giving us a goofy face.

Kirsten:

I giggled. Brian was such a clown. “Oh my God, what the f*ck is that on his head?” Nick laughed. We opened our car doors and got out of the car. “Hey” Nick cheered. “How are you my man” he asked. “I’m good and you” Brian got a big smile on his face. He and Nick hugged each other. “I’m doing fine” Nick said “but what’s that on your head?” he laughed. “Ah this?” he pointed at his bear hat. “This, my friend is a present from Baylee. He insisted that I’d showed it to you today and he wants proof of that” he laughed. Nick took a picture with his phone.  “I’ll send it to you okay! Maybe you should wear this during the tour haha” Nick laughed. “Good idea haha” he smiled. Brian turned his head and looked at me. “And who’s this fine young lady?” he asked friendly and smiled at me. I turned a little red. “I’m Kirsten” I reached my hand to him. He grabbed my hand and softly pulled me towards him for a hug. ‘’Nice to meet you Kirsten, I’m Brian” he said. ‘’Nice to meet you too” I smiled. “I don’t wear hats like this all the time, just for this occasion” he grinned. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Is Leighanne inside?” Nick asked. “Yep, she had to go the bathroom so she went inside already. And Baylee is with his grandparents this weekend” he replied. Nick got our travel bag out of the car and the three of us walked inside.

As we walked up to the indoor climbing hall Brian looked at my purse and scarf. “Nice purse, great taste” he smiled and blinked. “Thank you, this one’s my favorite” I giggled. “Don’t tell Leighanne okay. I wonder if she notice you wearing her creations” he smiled and softly rubbed my shoulder.

 We walked inside the hall and AJ and Rochelle, Kevin and Kristen and Howie and Leigh already were busy getting into their climbing harnesses. It was a funny sight seeing them in these weird things. AJ was the first to be ready and he wiggled his hips and sang “This ain’t nothing but a drive by love, drive by love, drive  by, drive by love lalalalalalaa”. Everybody laughed. Mister Show Guy. Nick poked Brian “Are you climbing?” he asked. “Mmmm nah, I don’t think so. I’m scared of heights remember. Leighanne is going to but I’m not” Brian said “and you?”. “Nah, not today” Nick replied. I could see relief in his eyes. He gave me a little air kiss. I gave him my sweetest smile. “Love you” I said without a sound. He pointed his index finger to himself and right after he pointed at me. Brian noticed that and smiled “aahh, look at you. In love like a couple of teenagers” he laughed. Leighanne walked up to us. She already had her climbing outfit and harness on. Brian’s eyes glided over her body “Wow, you sexy hot momma. Maybe a good idea for you to have at home?” he asked with a naughty grin. “Oh” she replied with a quasi shocked surprised look. She looked at him and give him a naughty smile. “Mister Littrell, I’m gonna buy you a harness and maybe I’ll let you climb something else , how about that” she said with a teasing laugh. “Whooohooo” Nick cheered.

Leighanne chatted with me and said she liked it that I had one of her bags. I told her that I had lots of Wylee stuff at home. I was a fan, I couldn’t help it. She smiled “Thank you for the big compliment”.

The group went climbing and the three of us stayed behind and took pictures. Especially Howie and Kristen were really good at it. They’ve done it before so they knew a little about the techniques and which climbing routes were the best to take. But the rest was picking it up really good. It was funny seeing the guys, of whom I was a fan of since the beginning of the Backstreetboys, wearing harnesses. In the hall they had a couple of couches on were we could sit on. Nick and Brian sat down and Nick winked me to sit down of his lap. I did. He wrapped his arms around my waist and talked to Brian. I’d loved the feeling of his strong arms around me. It made the butterflies flying to my stomach. I’d never had been so in love before. “Do you want coffee, or something else to drink?” Brian asked while getting up to get his wallet from his back pocket. “Sure, I would like a cappuccino” I said. “Me too” Nick said. Brian walked up to the bar. Nick gave me little kisses in my neck and wrapped his arms a little tighter around my waist. I felt myself getting all warm inside. “I love you” I said softly. “I love you too sweetie, I never loved anyone the way that I love you” he spoke softly. His soft lips touched my cheek.

Brian came back and held a tray with our beverages. While drinking them we chit-chatted about all sorts of subjects. The rest of the afternoon was really nice and passed by quick. We laughed a lot and we had fun together. We took a lot of pictures and goofed around. “We have to practice our dance routine tomorrow” Brian sighed. “You’re right, I almost forgot” Nick answered. “What time are you planning on stopping by?” Brian asked. “I don’t know. Maybe three p.m.?” Nick answered. “Sure” Brian said. “Are you joining us for dinner tomorrow?”. “If it’s not a problem for you or Leighanne”.  “No, it never is” he said. Nick glazed at me. “Do you mind if I bring Kirsten with me tomorrow?’’ he asked. Brian looked at me and smiled. “Don’t ask stupid questions bro’. Of course she’s welcome. Maybe Leighanne can show her around her working space. I’m sure she likes a tour at the WYLEE office” he said. “Really, is that possible?” I asked. “I don’t see why not. But Leighanne has to do some grocery shopping tomorrow” he said. “Oh I’ll join her, if she wants me to” I replied. 

Afterwards we all went down to a Greek restaurant. It was a really nice dinner. The food was great and the atmosphere was good too. I loved Greek food. I had a really good conversation with Kevin and Kristen. It was philosophical and I really felt energized by that conversation. Kevin invited us to come over next Friday night. The guys talked about the upcoming tour. It started within 2 weeks. I felt a little down about that. It probably wasn’t possible for me to go on tour with them. So I probably wouldn’t be with Nick for a couple of weeks. I ignored that thought and pushed that feeling out of my system. I didn’t want that feeling be the reason for ruining my night. After dinner we had ice cream for dessert and coffee.

Back home:

We got home pretty late. But we weren’t tired yet. Nick (again, I know) walked AJ and I lighted a couple of candles in my living room and made sure the music was exactly right for that occasion. I poured in 2 glasses of red wine and made a plate with different kinds of cheese and green olives. After that I  quickly changed my outfit. I chose an army green short dress with a black belt under my breasts with a black ¾ legging and a pair of army green killer heels. While I walked down the stairs I heard the sound of the door being opened with a key. The door opened and Nick walked in first. “Nice” I smiled. “Just the way it should be. Human first, than the dog” I grinned. ‘’Cesar would be so proud of you”. “Thanks sweetie, maybe I’ll arrange a meet and greet with him one day” he grinned. He helped AJ out of his leash and AJ ran off to the kitchen for his dog cookie.

Nick followed AJ to the kitchen and gave him a cookie. They both came back into the living room and AJ got in his dog bed, which was in the corner of the living room. Nick glanced at me and said “How is it possible that every time you change your outfit I fall in love with you just one more time?”. I blushed “Thank you sweetie. It’s a good motivation to shop for new clothes” I said teasingly. He walked up to the couch and sat down next to me. “I had a great day today” he said with that irresistible low sensual voice of his. “Me too” I said softly. He picked a green olive from the plate and brought it to my lips. I tried to bite at it but he teased me and took the olive away from me. He took the olive in his mouth and held it between his teeth. I smiled and brought my face close to his. My lips touched his and we both got our half of the olive. “Hmmm, that’s a new and nice way of eating olives” I smiled. Nick smiled back. He got a piece of cheese and did the same ritual. This time the kiss went on a little longer. I got turned on by it and gave the kiss a sensual twist. “Ooh baby, you’re trying to turn me on aren’t you” he said with a soft voice while his eyes pierced mine. “Hmm maybe” I teased him.  He caressed his hands over my back and gave me a hot kiss. His tongue danced with mine and I lost my breath a bit. He laid me down on the couch and I felt his body on top of mine. The pillows that got in the way were dropped on the floor. AJ was in a deep sleep. The temperature rose on the couch. Nick kissed me with so much passion I was completely mesmerized by it. I forgot everything around me.

The cd – player played Another Level with Freak Me

Freak me baby, Freak me Baby, Freak me baby, Freak me baby
Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with youaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I thought I went nuts. With his hands he took of my dress and I unbuttoned his shirt while kissing. He pressed one hand under my bra and massaged one of my breasts. His fingers played with my nipple. It instantly got hard. I groaned.

Baby don't you understand I wanna be your nasty man?
I wanna make your body scream, then you will know just what I mean
24 carat gold dont want the night to grow cold
I wanna lick you up and down and then I wanna lay you down come on sex

He stopped the kiss and went on licking and kissing my neck down to my breasts. He quickly got rid of my bra and with his hands he massaged my breasts and stimulated my nipples. “Oh baby” I whispered with my eyes closed. He gave me a short but intense kiss.

Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you

I love the taste of whipped cream spread it on the top of me
You know I can't resist you girl
I'll fly you all around the world
I wanna see your body drip come on let me take a sip
To calm what you cherish most
Cause we're not about to brag and boast

He stroked my thigh, over my legging, all the way down to my feet with the tips of his fingers. That sensation made my body scream. I wanted him so badly. He took of my shoes and kissed my feet. After that he slowly caressed the inside of my leg up, over the legging, to my inner thigh. “Oh babe, this is torture” I sighed. He grinned and  he took off both my legging together with my panties in one move. 

Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you

He looked at my pussy and smiled. “I love that little stripe you shaved” he said sensually and kissed it. He caressed it gentle with his hand. He stimulated my clit with his fingers. I moaned. His face went down and he licked me. I couldn’t lay still. I loudly moaned. He trusted a couple of fingers inside of me.

Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you

Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you

“Oh” I sighed. He trusted me faster while licking me. He went on and on and I felt I couldn’t hold it back any longer. He looked up at me and gave me a naughty smile. “You like that princess?” he said with a teasing voice. “Yes, please give me more” I begged. He trusted me further with his fingers. I had my first orgasm at that point. After that he trusted me further and licked me to my second orgasm. My moaning went loader and loader.

Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you

Next song  played on the cd was New Kids on the Block and Pussycat dolls with Grown Man.

Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing

Baby girl, here she ain't no amateur
Wears couture and smiles for the camera
Hottest bags, got the meanest handler
Yes, she is the hottest thing

He got up from the couch and I unzipped his jeans. He dropped down his pants and I ripped his boxers of. I got up from the couch and made him sit down. I got on my knees and caressed his  manhood.

When I'm out and takin' trips
I mean, there she goes up in my mix
From Paris, Peru to every club
She be tearin' it up, what

I licked circles and rubbed him further. I heard him groan. I slowly closed my mouth around his tool and sucked him.

She is so sexy and I'm into her
Yeah, I'm into her for sure
She go on like a circus
The way she works it, work it, work it
Straight up like a circus
The way she works it, work it, work it
Baby go and work it

It got so hard that it was almost too big for my mouth. He almost was there on his edge. I went further giving him a hand job and licked his balls.

Do you like my body?
Girl, you know I do
Do you think that I'm a hottie?
Girl, you know I do

Do you wanna go and party?
Girl, you know I do
Well, what do you want to do?
Here's what I wanna do

I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
Baby show me what you gonna do

I heard him moaning and I enjoyed it. And there it was, his orgasm. I sucked further and further until he was completely finished.

Boy she's livin' the crazy life
The day don't start until the midnight
Don't need the sign, she's got the strobe light
Work it in slow motion

She stands on bars and pops on tables
Showin' her designer labels
I ask her why she's so unstable
She just don't give it, don't give it easy

He opened his eyes and smiled. “Now baby” he whispered in my ear “I’m gonna thank you for that” he said. He got me underneath him.

She is so sexy and I'm into her
Yeah, I'm into her for sure
She go on like a circus
The way she works it, work it, work it
Straight up like a circus
The way she works it, work it, work it
Baby go and work it

He got inside me and the sensation started immediately. He trusted me and meanwhile rubbed my clit with his tumb. That was the way get me on cloud 9.

Do you like my body?
Girl, you know I do
Do you think that I'm a hottie?
Girl, you know I do

Do you wanna go and party?
Girl, you know I do
Well, what do you want to do?
Here's what I wanna do

He went on trusting and rubbing me. I thought I went nuts.

I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
Baby show me what you gonna do

So you wanna get with me, yeah?
I gotta say that's what's up
But I must admit I ain't easy
You gonna be workin' over time on me
Hey, hey, hey, hey, tell me what you want

He got on and on and I felt I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man

I sighed and groaned and finally felt the relief of my orgasm.

I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
I'ma give you some grown man
Baby show me what you gonna do

A couple of seconds later he came too with strong hard trusts.

Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing
Yo, check out our latest thing

After that we laid on the couch together to catch our breath. I caressed his back and he held his strong arms around me. I turned on the TV and got us a blanket. We both got our underwear back on and crawled underneath the blanket and watched some TV. After a half an hour I noticed Nick had fallen asleep. I felt his deep breathing in my neck. I smiled. I loved him so much. I sighed. AJ woke up from his sleep and walked up, with his tail wagging, to the couch. I stroked his head gently and he laid down in front of the couch.

After another half an hour I woke Nick up, with soft kisses in his neck, to get to bed. He opened his eyes and stretched out. “I’m sorry, I must have been asleep” he gasped. “Yeah you did, You snored a little. So sweet!” I said smiling. “I did not” he said. “Yes you did,  but I do too. There’s nothing to be ashamed of honey” I laughed.

I turned the lights and the TV off and I blew out the candles. I then brought the dishes to the kitchen. I made sure that AJ was all ready for the night and I went upstairs. Nick was already in bed but he did prep my toothbrush. I brushed my teeth, put on my pajama and went in bed. Nick spooned me and I fell asleep with his arms around me.    


The next morning I awoke early. Nick was awake too and we got up. After our breakfast, and walking AJ together, Nick decided to go to the gym for a couple of hours. The tour was coming up and it was important that his condition was good. Nick drove home to get his sport – outfit and he told me that he would pick me up at one in the afternoon.

Meanwhile I was busy cleaning up the house. I cleaned the bathroom and just had a cup of coffee when the doorbell ranged. I didn’t expect anybody to stop by, this morning. I heard AJ growl at the door. I opened the door and I looked into Kirk’s smiling face. He was blond, tall and masculine. Before he came to the USA he had worked at a beach in Australia as a lifeguard. After a while his grandma died and he inherited a big amount of money. He decided to come to the USA for a study and I met him at the University for the first time.  As foreign students we had in common that we missed our family and that we  had to get used to the typical American culture and lifestyle. After a while we became good friends and as good friends we looked after each other. He looked hot today. He wore a white hoody and black baggy jeans and sneakers. He wore his blond hair backwards and he was suntanned. He was good looking, not so good looking as Nick of course, but he was a treat for the eye, I had to admit. I smiled back at him. “Hi gorgeous” he said with his dazzling smile. “Hi” I said and hugged him. He hugged me back and kissed me on my cheek. The kiss was, actually, half on my lips but perhaps that happened because I turned my face a bit. It must have been an accident for sure. “Come in” I said. He followed me into the living room and I noticed that AJ wasn’t as excited as he used to be. He even showed his teeth when Kirk came too close to him. He stopped his attempts to pet AJ and walked to the couch to sit down. “I believe you have something to tell me. I was at your door yesterday and met your boyfriend” he said. “Yeah, he told me, I said with a big smile. “I didn’t had the feeling that he was happy to see me” Kirk said worried. “Oh, what happened?” I asked. “He wasn’t very friendly to me. And he was, in my opinion, a bit cocky about him being your boyfriend” he said and gave me  a serious glaze. “I hadn’t told him about our friendship so I guess he was a little intimidated about it all. I mean you did bring by my tiny green bikini so I can’t blame him for being defensive to you” I defended Nick. “I have to admit that the memory of you in that bikini is a good one” he smiled. “But about that Nick guy, do you think he’s the right guy for you?” he asked. “What do you mean about that?” I asked in return. I looked at him. “Does he make you feel like you’re his princess, do you think you are the only one for him? I mean, he has enough choice when it comes down to women. They do stand in line for him” he replied. “Yeah, to answer your question he is good for me. He’s a good guy Kirk. He’s not like other guys. He..  I don’t know how to explain it but I do know that I’m having a major crush on him. And he loves  me” I sighed with a smile “and honestly Kirk, I love him too. I really do” I said with a soft voice. “You are aware of the fact that you are dating a boy band pop star and that he’s loved and worshipped by millions of girls and women? I mean, I don’t want to ruin your romance here but I do feel the need to warn you. He has hundreds of women around him everyday who all are hoping and praying that one day he will be their lover, at least for one night. You don’t know if he’s trustable. What if he’s playing you?” he asked. I took a deep breath. “ What are you saying? That he couldn’t be in love with me because I’m so average? I’m aware of the fact that he can choose for many girls. Yes, I’m aware of that Kirk. I know he’s wanted and I know that there are probably a lot of gorgeous girls around him every day, but he chose me. Nick Carter chose me and is in love with me and I believe that he’s serious about it. So please stop making me feel insecure” I said annoyed. “Why can’t you be happy that I am in love again? I don’t recall me acting like that when you got involved with Daisy” I snapped.  Nick got up from the couch and walked up to me.”You’re right, I’m sorry baby” he said with a soft voice. He gave me a hug with his big, masculine, strong arms. He got a string of hair out my face and held one arm around my waist. “Listen sweetie, I only want you to be happy okay. I would give my life for you. And if you are really happy with him than you should go for it. But if he, ever, hurts you he’ll have to answer to me” he said and smiled. I noticed that his hand slowly went down to my ass and stayed there for a second. It felt awkward but I quickly pushed away the thought of him trying to make a move on me. He probably didn’t mean it that way. I was clear the first time, about not being interested in a romantic relationship, and I didn’t change my mind about it. I smiled and freed myself from him. “Do you want coffee?” I asked. “No thanks babe, I have to go in a minute. Listen, I have the regional swimming championships coming up this Saturday and I would like you to come and see it” he asked. “Oh sure, I’ll ask if Nick comes too okay” I asked cheerful. “Oh ehh sure” he said but didn’t look very enthusiastic about it. I probably imagined it. He grabbed his car keys from the table “I have to go, I have a meeting with my coach within an hour” he said. We walked up to the hall way and after he kissed me on my cheek again, he drove off.

I walked back into the living room and went on to the kitchen. I cleaned up the dishes and thought about Kirk’s visit. I didn’t felt at ease by what Kirk said. It made me pretty insecure. I wasn’t stupid and I couldn’t believe that Nick would play games with me. He just wasn’t like that. I felt disappointed that Kirk wasn’t happy for me and I was confused by the way he’d been acting with me today. His hand at my ass didn’t help either.

Nick returned at 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon. He stopped by his house and changed his outfit. He also brought along another sports outfit for the dance routines he was about to practice with Brian. We had lunch together. I made him pancakes with blueberries and cream cheese. “You did a good job baby” he said while chewing. “Thank you” I said with a smile and gave him a little soft kiss on his lips. After we both finished our lunch we cleaned up and left. Brian said we’d could bring AJ to the house. He would be their dog’s play date for the day.

 We drove off to Brian and listened to the car radio. We were silent for a while. Not an awkward silence though. It was a relaxed silence. Today was a nice and sunny day. I loved it when the weather was as good like this. I was so happy with Nick next to me. Unconsciously I got a big smile on my face. Nick glanced at me.  “A penny for your thoughts” he said and softly caressed his hand on my knee. “I was just thinking about how happy I am, at this moment” I said. “Are you really?” he asked and looked at me with a soft smile. I sighed “Yes I am, really. I’d never expected love to be like this, you know” I said softly. Nick smiled. “I know, I feel the same. It’s like when you are looking for love you won’t find  it and when you’re not looking for it at all then it’s happening. And I’m so happy I bumped into you that day on the beach” he lowered the radio. I smiled. The sun shined on my cheeks while Nick drove further on the highway to Brian’s. “My feelings for you are… I don’t know how to put it but…. I’m just not accustomed to feeling like this” I took a deep breath “It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster. Like, I’m addicted to you”. “I’m happy you feel like that. I feel exactly the same. Promise you’ll stay with me babe… forever” he asked and looked at me with his beautiful crystal blue eyes. I couldn’t stop glancing at his eyes. Nick turned his eyes to the road again. “I promise”  I spoke softly. I moved towards him and, while he was still driving, gave him a kiss. I felt myself getting all warm inside. I loved this guy so much. It almost hurts.

Nick Carter - Addicted 

From the first hit, I saw my world come crashing down,
I'll never forget how you just blew my mind
My head is spinning, feel my heart 'bout to explode
I'm overload from head to toe
Around and round and round we go.


So what I'm addicted
And now I can't live without your love
Maybe it's crazy, but I just can't get enough
I can't fight the feeling
I'd rather let you take me away
I don't wanna break these chains
I'd rather feel the pain.
You're such a good bad drug
The one I can't give up.
You give me such a rush,
The one I'm thinking of
You're such a good bad drug!

Yeah, I'm struck out
No I can't see straight
All you get I'll take
You got me now, just coming back for more!

I'm not coming down
Too much, too late
An overload, from head to toe
Around, around we go.

So what I'm addicted
And now I can't live without your love
Maybe it's crazy, but I just can't get enough
I can't fight the feeling
I'd rather let you take me away

I don't wanna break these chains
I'd rather feel the pain.
You're such a good bad drug
The one I can't give up.
You give me such a rush,
The one I'm thinking of
You're such a good bad drug!

I'm so hooked, I took your pill,
I get stuck, I get my fill
There's no hope praying you will get home, love!

I need no therapy, unless you're not around
Hooked up your chemistry, I'm never coming down
You gotta hold me
I want more, gimme more,
I need my fix!

So what I'm addicted
And now I can't live without your love
Maybe it's crazy, but I just can't get enough
I can't fight the feeling
I'd rather let you take me away
I don't wanna break these chains
I'd rather feel the pain.
You're such a good bad drug
The one I can't give up.
You give me such a rush,
The one I'm thinking of
You're such a good bad drug!

We arrived at Brian’s house and we drove up the driveway to park the car. When Nick turned off the engine he embraced me and kissed me passionately. “I love you” he whispered in my ear. I smiled “And I love you, mister Carter” and I gave him a little kiss on his velvet lips. He grabbed his keys and we stepped out of the car. We let AJ out and he immediately run around an played with Brian’s dog.

Brian and Leighanne walked up to us. “Hi guys” Brian smiled. “Hi” Leighanne smiled too. They hugged us and we went inside the garden. We had coffee and house made chocolate chip cookies and we talked about the climbing experience we had yesterday. Birds were chirping in the background and the water of fountain clattered down in the pond, in the back of the garden. Baylee played with the dogs and you could see he enjoyed AJ’s presence. A big smile was on his little face. AJ ran away from Baylee. “AJ WAIT” Baylee called. AJ wagged his tail and ran fast circles in the garden. Brian laughed when he noticed them. “Ah, look at them” he smiled. We all looked in their direction. “Aaawww” Leighanne squeaked. “He such a cutie” she said. “Yeah, they are” I smiled “AJ is such a sweetheart”. Baylee walked up to us, followed by AJ and Tyke. “Mommy, can I have a cookie?” Baylee asked with his sweet little voice. “You can sweetie, but first you have to say hi to Nick and Kirsten” Leighanne said to her son. “Okay” he said. He reached his little hand out to me, which I answered. “Hello, I’m Baylee, nice to meet you” he said. “Hi Baylee. I’m Kirsten, nice to meet you too” I said smiling. He then walked up to Nick and give him a big hug. Nick hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Uncle Nick, do you want to do the “spinning” game?” Baylee asked. I couldn’t help but smile. This kid was such a sweetheart. And I saw Brian and Leighanne both having a big smile on their faces  too. It was obvious that they were very proud of their son. I wished Nick and I had a child like that. It wasn’t like I was ready for a child yet but I could imagine me and Nick having a kid. And seeing him with Baylee made my heart melt. Nick got up “Sure little man, come on. Let’s go over there” he said. He took Baylee by his hand and walked over to the other terrace.  The sight of him together with little Baylee was like a future glimpse of Nick with (one day hopefully) our own child. It made me so happy to see this. Nick lifted Baylee up and spun him around. Baylee’s laughter filled the garden and I could hear Nick laughing too. Brian got up and walked over to them.

Leighanne picked up her cup of coffee smiled to me. “Did you had a good time yesterday?” she asked. “Yeah, I did, it was the first time that I saw everybody together and I really enjoyed myself” I answered.  “Good for you. I remember my first time with the guys and I had a blast with them. They are like brothers you know. They have been together for such a long time now and you can sense the bond between them” I nodded while listening. “I am happy for the two of you” Leighanne said. “Thank you” I said shy. “I mean it” she said. “Nick deserves a girl that makes him happy. And I can see that you are making him happy” she continued. “He has been through a lot this last year and it wasn’t easy for him. It’s good to see him smile again” she sighed. “Thank you Leighanne, this means a lot to me. I want to make him happy. He told me what happened between him and Terry. And of course the death of Leslie. It’s devastating when these things happen is your life” I said. I rubbed my arm. “Yeah, indeed. But like I said, it’s good to see him in love and happy again” she replied. “And for you, because I see things are getting a bit more serious between the two of you if else he wouldn’t have introduce you to us, I want you to know that if you have questions or you need advice you can always call me. I say that because soon the press will find out about you and Nick. And you have to try to prepare yourself of what’s about to come.  It have been this way with me and Brian, AJ and Rochelle, Leigh and Howie and Kevin and Kristen” she said. “Is it as bad as I think it is?” I asked. “Well it’s not always that bad, but you have to be prepared that they dig out all the information about you they can get. Some journalists will follow you and take pictures when you least expect it. Even on the moments when you don’t them want to take your picture. Some of them try to make up stories to talk bad about you and Nick. You know, when you are a celebrity people consider you as a ‘public’ person. Which means you have to available to them and smile. Even though you just had a fight with Nick or your period has arrived and you’re almost dying because of the cramps remember that when you get out in public you smile.  And you have prepare yourself for that” she explained. I took a deep breath. “I’ll let it come all over me and I will take your advice. Of course I hope it will all be easier than I imagine but we’ll see”. Leighanne got up and gave me a hug. “It’s going to be alright” she said. “Do you want to see my office? A grand tour through the WYLEE office?” She smiled. “Yeah sure” I said. “Husband, we are going to check out my office” Leighanne raised her voice a little. Both Brian as Nick looked in our direction. They were playing “Tug of War” with Baylee and AJ and Tyke ran along with them. Brian waved that it was okay and Nick looked at me with his gorgeous  puppy blue eyes. He gave me an air kiss. I returned it to him.

We walked inside the house and we got to the Wylee area of their house. She showed me where she stored her bags, the drawing table and some new designs she has been working on. Leighanne was such a nice person. She could easily be a close friend of mine. We talked about all sorts of things. Our men of course and Baylee and being a Backstreet wife. She joked around that I was a backstreet girlfriend already so maybe I could call myself a Backstreet wife in the future too. I laughed. I knew that Nick wasn’t the marriage kind of guy. At least, that’s what he’d always told in interviews. He simply didn’t believe in marriage. Leighanne laughed about it. “I’m sure that if you are the one for him he’ll marry you. Positive” she smiled. “Thank you, well I keep my hopes up. Even though we haven’t been together for so long but hey, everybody has their dreams right” I smiled. We laughed and walked back into the garden. We noticed that the garden was empty.

“Hmmm, I guess they’ve started practicing already” Leighanne said. “Come on, we’ll go and watch them” she said and we both went to the private gym behind the garage. Before we got in we heard the sound of a car door being shut and footsteps over the grind. It was AJ. He came by to practice too. He walked up to us and gave us both a hug. “Hi gorgeous” he said to both of us. “Hi” I giggled. We walked in the gym and we watched them all practice their dance routines for the upcoming tour. They all looked hot. Seriously, watching them practice is a treat. Really. During the practicing the guys got all sweaty and they took of their shirts and continued their routines. I smiled at Leighanne. 

“I guess that there are also a lot of good things in being a Backstreet girlfriend” I said and blinked at her. She giggled.” You mean the spectacular view right now?” she smiled. “Yeah, that’s the good part” she laughed. Nick looked our way through the mirror and licked his lips to tease me. I bit my lip and did the same back to him. He turned around and faced me and made trusting move. Leighanne busted out in laughter. “Ow come on, Nick you are not going to get her turned on like this” she cheered. I smiled and gave him a sneaky horny look. I saw him glazing at me just like he did every time he got turned on.
The rest of the afternoon passed by quick. We had a lot of fun together and after a couple of hours AJ left home. Brian and Leighanne made dinner, which tasted really good. I had a couple of glasses of wine. Nick didn’t because he had to drive home. Leighanne gave me her number and I had to promise her to call her whenever I wanted to. We drove home and talked about today. For some reason we didn’t talked about the upcoming tour. I don’t know why but it was like we both didn’t want to think about that yet. The tour meant that we’d be apart for a while. I just couldn’t face it yet.

We got home and AJ crawled in his dog bed. He was exhausted. He’d been playing the entire day with Tyke and Baylee. The second his head reached the dog bed he fell asleep.

  
“And now, my princess, it’s time for you and me” Nick stood behind me and whispered in my ear. He lifted me up, with his strong arms, and brought me upstairs into my bedroom. “What are you up to?” I giggled. “You’ll find out soon” he said naughty “Close your eyes” he demanded. “Sure” I said. I closed my eyes. He laid me down on the bed and made sure that I kept my eyes closed. I suddenly felt something being attached at my wrists. “What are you doing” I asked surprised. “Keep your eyes closed baby. Trust me. “ He said with a grin. Oh my God, he is tying me up, I thought.  “You can open your eyes now baby” he said. And I opened them. I saw that he tied me up at the bed. “Nick Carter, what are you going to do” I said smiling. He laughed. His hands ran down my body. My skin tingled by his touch. He cupped my breasts in his hands and massaged them. With his thumbs he massaged my nipples. They got hard in an instance. A soft moan escaped from my mouth. “I bet you like that” he whispered in my ear. His soft lips connected to mines and his tongue twirled with mine. “You look incredible honey” he said and softly caressed my body with his fingers. He drove me insane.

His hand slid down to my pussy. I felt his fingers caressing my clit. I moaned. “Oh baby” I sighted. His tongue played with my nipples while his hand continued to please my “love area”. I got wet. He grinned. His fingers slid inside me. “Oh God” I moaned. He trusted me and I went nuts. He got on top of me and pressed my thighs out of each other.

He came inside me with the tip of his manhood and slid in a little. With his thumb he slowly rubbed my clit. I thought I went insane by that feeling. He slowly got out of me and, again, entered me slowly  with the tip of his tool. “Oh God” I panted. That sensation of him inside me… He withdrew himself and, again, came inside a little bit. I groaned. I looked at him. He glanced at me with a really horny look in his eyes. I felt my pussy screaming and begging for rough, hard sex. “Oh Nick, f*ck me” I cried out.  “I will babe, patience” he said with a grasp in his voice. And again he withdrew himself from me and entered me again, while rubbing my clit teasingly with his thumb. “This is torture” I panted. I felt an orgasm was on his way already. He withdrew himself again. I couldn’t held back any longer. “Fuck me, please” I begged him. He grinned. With his tongue he got down to my ankle and back to my thigh. I sighed. He licked my love area and his hands were roaming my stomach and breasts. My hands were tied so I couldn’t do anything. “Why are you torturing me” I moaned and gasped at the same time. He got up and stroked my nipples and his tongue followed. His mouth covered my lips and he kissed me erotically. “Because” he whispered in my ear with his low sexual voice “you sexed me up all day at Brian’s and I want you to pay for that” and continued his sensual kiss while massaging my breasts. My God, I was wet. He turned me on in a way I never had been turned on before. No guy ever been there. My entire body screamed for him to finish the job. I was on the edge. His hands came down to my shaft again and I felt the sensation of his fingers sliding inside me again. “Ah yes” I cried out. He trusted his fingers slowly in and out of me. I breathed heavily. His tongue found my clit again and I found heaven at that moment. I got into a long lasting orgasm. He  went on with the licking and the trusting. I felt like my ‘cathouse’ was on fire. My gasping and moaning went loader and, just when I thought that my orgasm had reached the final end, he positioned himself between my thighs and his tool, without hesitation, entered my shaft with a firm and hard trust. “Oh God” I screamed. Nick placed his hands on my hips and he immediately had the right rhythm going.  A groan came from his mouth. “I’m gonna f*ck you like no one have done before” he panted and trusted me faster” his thumb found his way to his perfect matching spot between my legs again and I moaned loud. I could hear him breath heavily too and the rhythm speeded up a little. The thrusts went harder and so did my gasping and moaning. The moaning turned into screams and I heard him moan too. I didn’t want this to end. “ooooohhh, God please don’t stop” I panted while experiencing my orgasm. After reaching that edge he slowed down the thrusting to a relaxed rhythm. “Your wish is my command” he said with a grasp. He went on and on. He really gave me all he’d got. I wrapped my legs around him to bring him even deeper inside of me. He speeded up the rhythm again and my moaning went louder again. “Let’s make this a night to remember, you little horny princess” he said all turned up. He placed his thumb back on my clit and rubbed me again. My clit was so sensitive at this point that my body shocked right away by the touch of his thumb. I could feel that his manhood grew even larger inside me. That sensation made me, if possible, even more turned on than I already was. He trusted me hard, and firm and now we were both panting and moaning. “Ah” he panted and trusted me with all that he had inside of him. “Oh God, yes” he groaned and after a another couple of strong and hard trusts he cried out my name and he reached his edge. I reached that last one on the same time he did.

 After he’d completely filled me he took a deep breath and laid down beside me. I needed a little time to recover from this steaming sex experience, and so did he. We were still gasping and trying to get our breath back. He untied me and massaged my pulses a bit. He looked me deeply in my eyes, with a big smile on his face, and gave me a passionate kiss. “You are beyond words” he said. “I love you” I said softly. “And I love you honey” he whispered back. He laid the blanket over our bodies and he spooned me. After a couple of minutes really enjoying his hot body against mine, and his breathing in my neck, I fell asleep. Apparently, Nick fell asleep too, because one and a half hour later he woke me up. What a fine way to start my one week holiday.

My week off passed by quick. I saw Nick everyday and went to bed and woke up with him every morning. Being with him was amazing. We had so much fun. It was like we lived together, and in a way we already did of course. We were together every day and night. And it felt good. I could get used to living with him. He had to work a couple of times and I came along to watch him perform. If life could be like this forever than I’d sign up for it. I loved him more and more every day. During the week I called my parents in the Netherlands. They were very happy for me and asked us both to come over for Christmas. I told them that I couldn’t tell for sure if Nick could make it because I didn’t know which shows he had planned around that time. And of course I didn’t knew the plans for Christmas with his family. I would get back at them about it. I had to admit that I’d already love the thought of spending the holidays with Nick. And even more to introduce him to my parents. On Friday we went over to Kevin and Kristen and we went bowling together. So much fun. Really, you might think that Kevin is a serious guy? He is a clown. You can definitely tell that he is related to Brian. And Kristen is such a sweetheart. It got late that evening but we had such a good time. We promised each other that we’d get together really soon to go bowling again.

During the week Kirk texted me a couple of times. Some of them were a bit strange but I figured that Kirk was just fooling around a little. One, though, was a text I didn’t tell Nick about:

Hi sweetie, I’m looking forward to Saturday. I promise I’ll swim as hard as I possibly can. Only for you! X Kirk

I wasn’t used of him sending me text messages like these. It felt awkward. I didn’t respond to this text. I felt confused. Kirk knew that I was in love with Nick so why did he do this. Was this a test? I didn’t understand it. I decided not to tell Nick because, I don’t know, maybe I was afraid that he might get the wrong impression or something like that. I had to figure out for myself what this was all about.  I made it pretty clear to Kirk that I didn’t had any romantic feelings for him, back then. Other than friendship there was nothing between us.  Sure, Kirk was like a brother to me. He was my best friend. He’d always been there for me. He was definitely someone I could count on. And I loved him, like a brother. I really cared for him but not in a romantic way. Of course I’d felt that Nick, for some reason, didn’t seem to like Kirk. So for me that was another reason not to tell him about these text messages.  I hoped that us watching Kirk at the championships, on Saturday, would make the situation between Nick and Kirk better. My wish was for them to become friends. 

Nick:
It was Saturday, around ten in the morning. In half an hour the alarm clock should go of. Kirsten laid in my arms, still deeply asleep, and I couldn't help but smile. I was so lucky to have her in my life. I listened to her relaxed breathing. She snored a little. The snoring was really soft and so cute. It sounded a  little like a cat snoring. I tried to lay as still as possible. I smelled the scent of her hair and it smelled like wild lavender. Her skin looked soft like velvet and I had to suppress my urge of caressing her beautiful face. I was thinking about the upcoming tour. I knew that she’d probably wouldn’t be able to go with us. That meant that we wouldn’t see each other for three weeks. I would be back in about two weeks for Christmas. The thought of having to miss her for so long made my heart ache already. I felt a lump in throat. I really loved her. Maybe it was foolish because we weren’t together for a long time but my feelings didn’t lie. Maybe I could arrange something so that we could see each other during the tour. I promised myself that I would discuss it with our tour manager.  Most of the times there were possibilities to bring family or other loved ones on tour with us. Maybe I should try calling her boss to ask if it was possible that she’d got a week off extra. And hopefully she could join us in the second week of the tour. Then I only had to miss her for one week, I’d have her around me the second week and then it was just one more week and then we could be together again. I already had a Christmas present for her in mind. I wanted to surprise her and… that had to be a secret.

The alarm clock went off and Kirsten woke up. I kissed her face. We got up and both took a shower. We went down stairs to ate breakfast and we made ourselves ready to go see Kirk.

We arrived at the sports facility and we got ourselves good seats to watch the championships. Kirk won and right after he got his price we went down to congratulate him.

And then it happened. Kirsten walked up to Kirk to congratulate him. From the corner of my eye I could see him cheering. He hugged Kirsten, lifted her up and spun her around. He got her down on the ground again and kissed her full on her lips. I saw the shock in her eyes.

At that moment it felt like everything around me went by in slow motion. Kirsten stood there all frozen, probably just as shocked as I was. Kirk took off to the dressing room to get changed. A primal instinct took over my consciousness. I felt my heart pumping my blood through my veins. Once I'd realized what had happened my anger took over. I knew it. That sick motherf*cker tried to steal my girlfriend. I couldn't let him get away with that. I followed Kirk with firm steps to his dressing room. I heard a voice and the sound of fast going footsteps behind me but I ignored it. While I was getting closer to Kirk I walked faster. I was almost near him. "Hey Kirk" I called out with a groan. He turned around to face me, with that annoying smile on his lips. At that point his face, his left eye and nose in particular, had an a scream behind me. "NO" Kirsten cried out and she fell on her knees at his side and started to cry. Immediately a lot of people came up to see what happened. I sneakily went outside to get some air and to try to understand what just had happened. I was so confused and angry.
After a couple of minutes Kirsten came up to me. I could see she was really upset. She had red, puffy,   eyes. I tried to hug her for comfort but she pushed me away. “Honey, please let me.. ” I said. “Don’t you honey me” she said and she looked at me with anger. “Why did you hit him” she raised her voice. She pushed me again. “Why did you hit him?” She screamed. I grabbed her wrists to prevent her from pushing me further and tried to calm her down. “He kissed you, Kirsten. What was I supposed to do?” I raised my voice to her. I could see the tears in her eyes. “You didn’t had the right to do that” she yelled. “No? I didn’t? He kissed you. Don’t I have the right be angry about that? Or did you liked it, being kissed by him?” I yelled. She quickly pulled herself loose from me and gave me a really hard slap in the face. I felt my skin burn after that hit. “Screw you” I said angry. “No screw you Nick Carter. I hate you! It’s over.” she screamed and walked away. I was stunned. What the f*ck did just happen? I felt like I was in a low – budget movie.

I  waited outside and called her numerous of times and after two hours, after everybody left, I still didn’t had any contact with Kirsten. I constantly got her voicemail and I had left for at least twenty five messages for her.  Apparently she’d left with somebody else and I didn’t see her leave.. Maybe she’d left with Kirk, maybe, I didn’t knew. I only knew how I felt and I felt hurt. I got in my car and broke down to tears. “God please, let her come back to me” I said out loud crying. I decided to drive home.

The entire day and night she ignored me. She kept her phone off and she didn’t answer to e-mails or text messages. I thought I went nuts. I couldn’t take it anymore. Why did she do this to me. I drove by her house, that night, but everything was dark. The thought of her being with Kirk came up. I felt fear, anger and sadness all at the same time. Tears rolled over my face. I slammed the steering wheel, in my car. I took a deep breath and drove back home. I went to bed early, not knowing what I was going to do. Of course I didn’t sleep at all. I’d tried to call her all night but she just didn’t wanted to talk to me. It was the worst night of my life. I missed her so much. I looked at the empty place next to me. It felt like a knife stabbed my heart. If only I could turn back time. But I  knew that I ‘d probably would do the same thing. Honestly, if I had to do it again I would have hit him twice as hard. That moron. I felt myself getting angry all over again. Tears came up again. I didn’t had any control over my feelings at this point. Now if she’d only wanted to talk to me. That way I could explain to her what I felt. I could show her how much I loved her. I’d even, if she really wanted me to and it would make her come back to me again, would apologize to Kirk.
I closed my eyes but I couldn’t catch my sleep.

BSB - In Pieces    lyrics

So I lay awake another hour
Just like the one before
The shadows play a game with my head
I can't take this anymore

I hear the sound
Of my own breathing
It makes me miss you more

Wake me up when it's over
After the ending
When the damage has all been done
I don't wanna be somewhere
Where you can watch me as I bleed
Just leave me here in pieces
In pieces

I can't take the chance
Of running into
You running into me
So lock the door
And close the window
I just wanna see

Until the day
Inside my future
When I'll be on my feet

Wake me up when it's over
After the ending
When the damage has all been done
I don't wanna be somewhere
Where you can watch me as I bleed
Just leave me here in pieces
In pieces

If you want you can find me
On the dark side of the sun
Babe I don't wanna see what we've become
The damage has all been done

Wake me up when it's over
After the ending
Wake me up when it's over
When the damage has all been done
The damage is done
I don't wanna be somewhere
I don't wanna be somewhere
Where you can watch me as I bleed
Leave me here in pieces
Just leave me in pieces
Just leave me in pieces
Just wake me up when it's over (in pieces)
Just wake me up when it's over   

I saw the sun rise that morning and I was exhausted. I finally fell asleep at 6:30 in the morning. I had a severe headache and closed my eyes.
 
I awoke at eleven o’ clock by the screaming sound of my alarm clock. I felt like a truck had run over me. My whole body felt sore. Like I had a hangover except, I didn't had alcohol. I checked my cell for messages, hoping that Kirsten had called or texted. But she didn't. I then checked my e-mail but still no word from her.
 
Backstreet Boys: Crawling Back To You songtekst
Everybody Knows
That I was such a fool
To ever let go of you
And baby I was wrong
And yeah I know I said
We'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart
I didn't mean to break your heart

But baby here I am
Bangin' on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawlin' back to you
Beggin' for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was runnin' from the truth
And now I'm crawlin' back to you

I know you're in there
And you can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the least that I could do
Just to tell you face to face
I was lyin' to myself
Now I'm dyin' in this hell
Girl I know you're mad
Well I can't blame you for bein' mad


But baby here I am
Bangin' on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawlin' back to you
Beggin' for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was runnin' from the truth
And now I'm crawlin' back to you

If you could see these tears I'm cryin'
Touch these hands that can't stop shakin'
Hear my heart that's barely beatin'
You would see a different man

But baby here I am
Bangin' on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised

And I'm crawlin' back to you
Beggin' for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was runnin' from the truth
Now I'm crawlin' back to you
Bangin' on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
I was runnin' from the truth
Now I'm crawlin' back to you

 
I went downstairs and made myself breakfast although I wasn't hungry at all. I forced myself to eat. I felt restless. I tried to call her a couple of times but her phone was still shutt off. I threw my phone on the couch. My dogs looked at me with sad faces. They felt that I wasn't feeling very well today. I got their leashes on and took them out for a walk. After half an hour I came back and left of to go to AJ and Rochelle. Still nothing. During the car drive I couldn't stop thinking about her. I almost had an accident because I wondered off in my thoughts instead of paying attention to the road. I was obsessed with my cell. Every minute I checked the display to see if there were messages. But no. The silence hit me like a driving car would hit a wall.
 
After a twenty minute drive I arrived at AJ and Rochelle's. I turned off the engine and stepped outside the vehicle. I walked up to the front door and knocked. After a couple of seconds Rochelle opened the door. She smiled "Hi, sweetie" she said. "Hi babe" I replied. "Hey, where is Kirsten?" she asked surprised. And she stepped outside the door to see if she was there. I sighed. "It's a long story. I messed up big time" I said feeling down. She hugged me “Oh no… Come in, I’ll make you some coffee”. Rochelle was such a sweetheart. AJ was lucky to have a girl like her. We walked through the Moroccan style hall way into the living room. AJ sat at his gothic dining table while working on lyrics for possible new songs. He looked up to me. “Hey little bro’, you’re early” he frowned. “What happened? Where is Kirsten?” he asked. I took a deep breath and tears welled up in my eyes. “Hey” AJ said with his raspy soft voice. He stood up and walked up to me and hugged me. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked again. “Come on, we’ll sit down okay”. “Sure” I said with the tears rolling over my cheeks. I told him what happened yesterday. AJ allowed me to tell what happened without interrupting me. In the meantime Rochelle made my coffee and listened too. After I was finished they were silent for a couple of seconds. “Wow” AJ said. “I didn’t see that one coming”. “Me neither” I said. “But you do want to make up to her right?’’ Rochelle asked. “If she’d give me the chance, of course. But that’s the problem, she doesn’t answer my calls, no responds on text messages or e-mails. I drove by her house a couple times, yesterday and today, but there’s no sign of her or AJ being home” I said sad while rubbing my eyes. I stretched out. I still had a sore back for sleeping so bad, last night. “Do you need a quick massage?” Rochelle asked. I gave her a surprised look. “Would you?”. “Sure” she said. “I did a Shiatsu training, a while ago. It’s a hobby of mine. You can ask AJ” she smiled. AJ smiled back. “A massage from her is like heaven” he laughed. I smiled too “I’d love to have one” I said. “Come on, you have to sit down backwards on the chair. That way I have full access to your back” she said.

I sat down and honestly, that was a real good massage. Rochelle was really good in it. Not too hard or too soft. Perfect. I moaned a couple of times. I had goose bumps all over my body. During the massage I had my eyes closed and I felt my back relax. The soreness and the muscle pain disappeared. After twenty minutes she was ready with my back and shoulders. She didn’t stop. She went on massaging the back of my neck and my head. “You should do that for a living” I said softly. Rochelle grinned. “No, sweetie. I only do this to the people I love and who are close to me” and she kissed me on my forehead. “Thank you” I smiled. I felt a warm glow inside me. After another ten minutes of massaging we were ready. I took a deep breath “Thank you, I feel like I had an hour of sleep, right now” I said and stretched out again. “You should drink a large glass of water to cleanse your body” she said. “I’ll get it” AJ said. He got up and brought me a glass of water.    

After that we lunched together and we talked about possible options to make things right and show her how much I loved her. A lot of ideas came over the table but not the right one. After an hour or so AJ cheered “I know what you should do. Tomorrow it’s Monday, right?” I nodded.”Tomorrow morning you’re gonna go to the beach and there you’ll wait for her. She told me, last week, that she always takes AJ to the beach on Monday” he smiled. “Yes, okay. Go on” I said impatiently. “You put on your best suit and you’ll take your guitar with you. And as soon as she approaches you you’re going to serenade her” he said. “Baby, that’s an awesome idea” Rochelle cheered.  “And you must bring a bouquet of 100 roses for her” she cheered. “And chocolate” she smiled “You need chocolate. A real big romantic heart of chocolate”. “Okay, and how am I going to arrange this before tomorrow morning?” I asked skeptically. “Well, you have us” Rochelle smiled. “You don’t know this but I make chocolate myself. And lately I’ve been practicing on making a big decorated chocolate heart. And I happened to make one yesterday. I’ll show you, okay?” I was stunned. I didn’t knew she was so…. So versatile. AJ laughed “Wow, I should take a picture of that look on your face, haha”. ‘’I’m sorry Bone, I didn’t knew that” I said surprised. Rochelle went to the kitchen to get the big chocolate heart. There was definitely more than met the eye, when it came down to Rochelle.

“And as for us” AJ said “we are going to pick out a good song for you to use for the serenade”. So searched and searched for a good song. After an hour or two we had a couple of options. I had a song from Brian Adams, Blue and Elton John, a song from my little brother Aaron and a Backstreetboys song.  I played and sang them on my guitar and AJ taped them with his brand new audio recorder. Rochelle and AJ where my audience. When we listened the taped songs, afterwards, the three of us agreed that it had to be the song “If I don’t have you”. It was an oldie but that didn’t matter. It basically said all that I wanted to say to her.

We had dinner together and after that I returned home all packed with the big, homemade, chocolate heart. I had renewed hope that it would work.

After I walked the dogs I got back home. I picked out my best suit for tomorrow and checked my online order for the bouquet of 100 red roses. The florist confirmed me that the flowers would be delivered at my place, the next morning at nine o’ clock. Suddenly the doorbell ranged. My heart made a jump through the roof. What if it was Kirsten? I stood up in haste and almost ran to the front door. I opened the door and a cold wave ran through my body. There was Kirk. This time he wasn’t smiling. He had a black eye and a big lump on his cheek. His nose was bruised too. “You have some nerve, coming up here” I groaned. I felt all my anger and rage coming back. “Listen, before you slam the door in my face I want to apologize” Kirk said. He looked a bit frightened. “Yeah right” I said angry. “No really, please give me five minutes to explain what happened, yesterday” he begged. “You get sixty seconds. And then I want you to f*ck of” I almost yelled. Kirk started talking “Well yesterday I won the championships. And Kirsten walked towards me to congratulate me on my victory. These championships where so important for me. And after years, and I really mean years, of practice I finally won. And with that a dream came true. And with all of my stupidity I kissed Kirsten. And that’s a thing I regret. I… I never should’ve done that. You and her belong together. She’s happy with you, Nick. She loves you. More that you know” Kirk explained. “But why are you doing this? Showing up at my doorstep?” I asked, not trusting him at all. “Because I’m ashamed of my behavior. I’m afraid to lose her as my best friend. But also because I want to see her happy. Listen Nick, how odd it may sound.. I know things would never work out between me and Kirsten as a couple. We are way too different. We wouldn’t make it for one day. Yes, I admit I had feelings for her. And after I’d broke up with my ex I admit that I’d fantasized about Kirsten and me being together. But, after all that happened yesterday, I realized that Kirsten will never love me as she loves you. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me” he said. I looked at him with skepticism. Was he f*cking around with me? He looked like he really was sorry. “Okay” I sighed. “I’ll forgive you” I said. “Really?” Kirk gave me a hesitant smile. “Yeah, really” I said. He smiled and reached out his hand. I answered that. “Listen, I wanna help to bring you back together again” he said. “Come inside the house” I invited him. He followed me inside and we joined a beer together. He told me that Kirsten spend the night at Jenna’s with AJ. He hadn’t spoke to her but he talked to Jenna. She told him. He told me that he had plans on going to beach with AJ and Kirsten, tomorrow morning. Just to talk things over. Because I wasn’t the only one she was mad at. She seemed to be really angry at Kirk. He even feared for his friendship with her. I told Kirk about my plans for the next morning. He was very enthusiastic about it. He offered to escort her (in all secrecy) to the place where I would be waiting for her. I agreed in that. That was a great idea. That way I knew that she’d would be there. Kirk didn’t seem such a loser after all. After another couple of beers Kirk left off to go home. He was a nice guy, honestly. We had certain things in common and I now understood why Kirsten liked him so much. I guess he just isn’t such a bad guy as I figured he would be. Especially when he told me that my fist really hit him hard, yesterday. Hey, I’m a guy. If another guy tells you your fists are from steel that’s a compliment, girls. The next day, I’d agreed with Kirk that I would be at the beach, around eleven o’clock. I was nervous for the next day, already.      

That night I slept for approximately six hours. On Monday morning I got up early and I felt really nervous. I was almost noxious. This plan really had to work. It was my only chance on making up with her. I also felt nervous because today I would finally see her again. I felt like an addict who was about to get his drug, so eager. It felt ages ago since the last time I saw her. I took a deep breath “Hold it together Carter” I said while looking in the bathroom mirror. I watched myself in the mirror and my head was probably the textbook example of a bedhead. My hair was one big mess and I looked a little tired. I stretched out, took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes.  I undressed myself and went into my shower. While the water poured down over my body my thoughts went to Kirsten. The nervousness got worse by the minute. I drove myself crazy, I knew.  But this thing at the beach would determine my future with Kirsten. “Get a grip on yourself” I groaned. I took the bottle of shower gel and I did a bit of that substance in the palm of my hand. I completely soaped myself, starting with my stomach and breast. I remembered the first time Kirsten and I took our first shower together. Her hands soaping my body, God I would give anything for her to do that to me again. And so did my manhood at that point. The last two years I’d seen a lot of the gym and lived healthy and that paid off. My abs were strong and I finally had a six-pack. After all this time of working out I finally was happy with my body. I got my shampoo and washed my hair. After the washing up I stayed a couple of minutes under the shower enjoying the hot water. I finally turned off the shower and stepped out. I grabbed my towel and dried myself. While drying my stomach, breast and legs I heard a text message coming in on my phone. I immediately dropped the towel, got my glasses and rushed into the bedroom. Perhaps it was Kirsten! I rushed to the bed and grabbed my cell.

Hey big brother, how about a pizza at my place tonight? AC

I was disappointed. Of course it was great to have dinner with Aaron but my heart hoped for a text from Kirsten. I decided to text him back after I’d met Kirsten again. I laid down my phone and walked to my closet. I picked out my costume for the serenade. It is a black costume, partially made of satin. I had black matching shoes and a white Italian design blouse with it. I only wore it three times before but it was custom made for me. I loved it and felt secure in it. I got dressed, fixed my hair and shaved. I had my contact lenses in and sprayed my favorite men fragrance on. I checked myself in the mirror for the last time. I was satisfied with the way I looked.

I walked downstairs, quickly walked the dogs, ate breakfast, and after that I drove off to the florist for the roses. Wow, that was a massive bouquet. It was heavy too. I laid the bouquet in the back of my car and drove off to the beach.
I walked up to place where it all had to happen. That place was situated in the dunes and it was really nice and quiet over there.  Birds were chirping in the background and lemongrass and other plants and trees were growing there also. I lighted up a campfire and I made sure my guitar sounded really good. I practiced the song for the last time, to make sure that it would sound perfect for Kirsten. The bouquet of roses was positioned on the right of the campfire. I was silent for a moment. They should be here any minute now. After another minute or two I heard soft voices on the other side of the high sand dune. The voices came closer and from a distance I recognized her contours and Kirk’s. As they came closer I noticed that AJ got totally excited to a point that Kirsten couldn’t hold him any longer. AJ broke loose from her and stormed up to me all happy, wagging his tail and jumping up to me. Kirsten yelled at him but that didn’t work. They came up closer to me until Kirsten could clearly see me. She looked shocked to see me. She turned her head and looked at Kirk “What’s this?” she asked confused. He gave her a blink. “I’m sorry for lying to you but this time I had to do this. You’ll thank me afterwards, believe me” he said and walked away. She followed him with her eyes and slowly turned and faced me. It was now or never. I was so nervous. It was funny but I had performed for thousands of screaming girls without being nervous, I mean I do this for such a long time now and you get used to large venues and the fans and their responses. But this performance was scary. Like I had to audition for the first time. 

I grabbed my guitar and started singing:
Backstreet Boys: If I Don't Have You
Every day, girl I wake up and pray
That you'll come back home and don't take too long
Cuz since you've been gone, everything's gone horribly wrong
I wish you were here, holding me near
You know I'd go out of my mind if you ever left my heart behind
So I'm begging you please bring your sweet love back to me
(Please come back to me)

Kirsten looked at me with her big blue eyes and I could see that she was totally surprised by this. The wind played with her beautiful dark blond hair.

If I don't have you(don't have you)
To hold on to (to hold on to)
I can't go on in this world alone
Baby its true (baby its true, if I don't have you)
If you said goodbye(u said goodbye)
Girl I would die (girl I would die)
I'm a star with no light a day with no night
If I don't have you

I could see her eyes getting wet. A tear rolled over her cheek. I felt my knees getting week. I hoped the song would end quick so that I could hold her and kiss her.

late at night I reach to hold you tight
but you're not there (you're just not there baby)
I know you still care( I know you still care)
and oh how I miss your soft, tender, lovely kiss
you give to me so tenderly
we used to feel that time would stand still
and when I see you baby it will
so hurry honey
you know your man needs you so

AJ ran between me and her, all happy and excited. Kirsten still stood there looking at me, only this time with love in her eyes. She gave me a sad smile and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

If I don't have you(don't have you)
To hold on to(to hold on to)
I can't go on in this world alone
Baby its true(baby its true, if I don't have you)
If you said goodbye(u said goodbye)
Girl I would die(girl I would die)
I'm a star with no light a day with no night
If I don't have you
If I don't have you(don't have you)
To hold on to(to hold on to)
I can't go on in this world alone
Baby its true(baby its true, if I don't have you)
If you said goodbye(u said goodbye)
Girl I would die(girl I would die)
I'm a star with no light a day with no night
If I don't have you

While playing my guitar I fell down on my knees, in the sand, and went on with the song. Tears rolled down from my cheeks too. God I missed her so much that it hurts. I just wanted to show her how much I really loved her and how much this song came from my heart.

You know I'll go crazy without you
If I don't have you(don't have you)
To hold on to(to hold on to)
I can't go on in this world alone
Baby its true(baby its true, if I don't have you)
If you said goodbye(u said goodbye)
Girl I would die(girl I would die)
I'm a star with no light a day with no night
If I don't have you

I got up and laid aside my guitar. I walked up to her and she came in my direction. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her passionately. I kissed her with everything that I had inside me. My tongue made love with hers. And I pulled her close to me and held her tight. Our lips were still connected and it was like my tongue met his soul mate again. She had her arms wrapped around me too. I ended the kiss and cupped her face with my hands. With my thumb I rubbed the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry for hurting you” I said while a tear rolled down my face. “Me too, sweetie. Me too. I love you” she whispered. “I love you too, more then you’ll ever know” I whispered back. And our lips found each other again in a breathtaking kiss.

Kirsten:
Nick ended the kiss. But I kept on holding him real tight. He held me close to his body too, with his strong arms. The sun shined on his face and he smiled at me. “I’m so happy you’re here with me princess” he said softly. “Me too” I said. We heard the Seagulls in the background and the rushing of the trees. I could smell the salty air of the see being close by. Nick got up and walked up to the campfire. “I have something for you, wait up” he said. I followed him with my eyes as he walked away from me. He came back and brought a heart shape form with him. As he walked up to me he smiled. I felt butterflies running all through my body. I was so relieved our fight was over. Nick didn’t knew the stress I’ve been in the last couple of days. Not to mention the pain and the sadness. I haven’t felt that miserable ever before. Of course I was mad at Nick for punching Kirk but I was also very angry at Kirk too. The way he played me and trying to let Nick think that he and I might be involved romantically was something that almost cost him our friendship. This morning Kirk came over to Jenna to pick me up for a beach walk. He apologized to me and told me he regretted the things he did. He told me he felt deeply ashamed about the way he had treated Nick. He apologized again for the way he had been acting. I saw tears well up in his eyes as he did. At that point I couldn’t be angry anymore. I told Kirk that I forgave him and at that point we reached the spot where Nick was waiting for me. I was really surprised about that because Kirk didn’t mentioned this before. But before I could demand an explanation he already left off. Anyway, Nick approached and kneeled in front of me and gave me the heart shaped figure “I hope you like it” he smiled eager to see my reaction. I gently opened it and saw the big decorated chocolate heart “Oh” I sighed all surprised “Wow, that’s beautiful”. Nick had a big smile on his face. “I have another surprise” he said and behind his back he showed me a huge bouquet filled with roses. My eyes grew big and my mouth fell open. I took the flowers “Wow, they are heavy. Thank you honey, they are gorgeous.” I smiled. “You deserve them, especially after what happened Saturday” he gave me a small kiss. “ I’ll carry them for you, sweetie” he said. “About what happened Saturday, are we…” he looked down  to the floor. I cupped his face with my hands “It’s okay” I whispered. I forced him to face me “It’s okay” and I kissed him. He took a deep breath and smiled “I was so worried. I couldn’t reach you. I went crazy without you. Please do not ever do that to me again. You can scream, yell, call me names, hit me, whatever you want. But please never ignore me again. You can’t punish me harder than to ignore me” he said sad. A tear welled up in his eyes. I kissed him again. “I promise I won’t do it again, baby” I hugged him and held him close to me.       

  About an hour later we both got in Nick’s car and drove to his house.  In the mean time Aaron called and asked if we came over to join him for pizza and beer that night. The rest of the afternoon we spend together laying in each other’s arms and cuddled.  We both fell asleep a couple of times because of the lack of rest we had during the weekend. 

Late in the afternoon, around four o’ clock, Nick got a call from AJ. He picked it up and got it on speaker. “Hey bro’. Nick cheered. “Hi AJ” I cheered too. “Hi guys” he cheered back. In the background I could hear Rochelle asking “And, is she there?”. “Yes, she is” AJ answered softly. “Yeeaahhh, yooowooo” I heard her in the background. Nick and I both laughed. “Thanks for the gorgeous and delicious chocolate heart. That was so incredible sweet!” I said. “I didn’t made the heart sweetie, Rochelle did. Oh, wait up, Rochelle wants to talk to you” AJ said with his raspy voice. Nick turned the speaker off so Rochelle and I could  talk. “Hi Kirsten, how are you?” “I’m good, thank you. It’s been a rough weekend but Nick and I are okay again”. “Oh, that’s wonderful. It’s so good to hear that. For a moment we were afraid that it would be over between the two of you. And that would be such a shame. You and Nick are such a cute couple”. “Ah, that’s sweet Rochelle” I said. “Listen, Leighanne and I want to go shopping tomorrow. Do you feel like coming too? It’s going to be fun like a girls day out”. “Sure, that sounds nice. Wait a second I’ll tell Nick” I said. I covered the phone against the palm of my hand. “Sweetie, Rochelle asks if I want to join her and Leighanne  tomorrow to go shopping”. Nick looked at me with a big smile on his face. “I’m not coming honey, I hate shopping. But I’m sure the tree of you don’t need me hanging around. Besides, the guys and I  have to go downtown for a meeting tomorrow anyway”. I smiled back at him and gave him an air blown kiss. Nick pretended to catch it. “Rochelle, it’s cool. I’ll join you tomorrow” I smiled. “Really? Ah great. I’ll pick you up at noon okay?”. “Okay, cool” I said. “Oh, AJ wants to speak to Nick. You know men hey haha. They are worse than women when they are on the phone” she laughed. “Yes I do. See you tomorrow” I grinned back “By honey, see you tomorrow” she answered. “Sweetie, AJ wants to talk to you” I called out to Nick. Nick walked back from the bathroom and took over the phone.    

After Nick was done talking to AJ we brought AJ (the dog) home and drove off to Aaron. We had pizza and it was an amazing night.  After that we went to Nick’s place. As we sat down on his couch he asked me about how I see the future with him. I was silent for a second. What did he mean with that? “Well…” I started “I really like to have you around me… You definitely mean a lot to me and I really hope things work out between you and I”. “I’m glad you say that” Nick answered while he  looked down at the floor. “Listen, in about a week I’ll be leaving for our new tour. I’ll be away for 3 weeks and honestly, I can’t miss you that long” he said softly. I didn’t answer. I felt a lump in my throat. His two dogs jumped up the couch and snuggled up to us. I pressed away the thought of him leaving for tour, the last week. But now it was time to face what was coming. A tear rolled slowly down my cheek. Nick looked at me and smiled sadly. He wiped the tear away from my face and kissed my lips. “Tomorrow I have a meeting with the boys and the management. Maybe I can arrange a day off during the tour so that we have a little free time together” he looked at me with his beautiful icy blue eyes. “I would love that” I said with raspy voice. “I’m gonna miss you, every second that you aren’t around me” I said and he wrapped his arms around me. “And I’m gonna miss you too, so much. You don’t have a clue how much you mean to me” he whispered. He held me for a long time.

I heard a soft voice talking to me from a distance “princess, are you sleeping?” I felt lips pressing against my forehead. As I slowly awoke I felt two strong arms around me. I looked up and there I saw the most beautiful sight a girl could see while waking up. I stretched out “I must’ve fall asleep” I said and blushed. Nick smiled “my sleeping beauty. You’re so kissable when you’re asleep” and planted a soft kiss on my lips. “We have to get to AJ. He needs his walk tonight” he said.

We went to my house and walked AJ. Nick stayed over and we both had a good night sleep. I was happy to be in his arms again.

The next morning Nick gently awoke me with soft kisses in the back of my neck. “The best way to wake me up sweetie” I smiled. He placed his head on my belly and stayed there for a couple of seconds. He sat up straight and caressed my body with his warm hands. The shivers ran down my spine. He brought his face to mines and kissed me passionately. He got rid of my panties and entered me with force. I moaned. He trusted me firm and had the right rhythm going.  We quickly reached our edge. After we both had our breath back we went downstairs and ate breakfast. Nick had to leave for the meeting. He gave me a kiss, grabbed his keys and walked to the door. “Bye baby, I love you! I call you at lunch time okay?” he smiled. “Okay, by sweetie!” “Have fun with the girls, promise?”. I smiled “And you with the boys”. He gave me an air blown kiss and walked out the door.

I made myself ready to go shopping and after a quick walk with AJ Rochelle and Leighanne arrived.  I hopped in the car and we drove off to the boulevard and started our day of shopping with a nice cup of coffee with a big piece of apple pie with whipped cream.

“So, tell me” Leighanne began while chewing on her apple pie “How did the two of you made up?”. So I told them everything that had happened from the moment Kirk came to pick me up until the very moment we had pizza at Aaron’s.  When I was finished talking both Rochelle as Leighanne where smiling. “Ah, that was such a sweet way to make up” she sighed “I never knew Nick being such a romantic person”. I smiled from ear to ear. “Well, I’m very happy he did that for me. Honestly, I only want to be close with him. The idea of almost losing him it’s something I don’t want to think about anymore”. “Neither do we” Rochelle smiled. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time to set our minds on something else. I promised my hubby that I’d bring him some new underwear. In  the mean time I want to look for “underwear” myself as well’” she said with a naughty smile. Leighanne giggled “Whoohooot, you go girlfriend” and high fived her. “But seriously, I think it’s a very good idea. Maybe I’ll find something to surprise Brian too. He thinks I’m shopping for some new t-shirts and jeans today” she smiled and winked. I giggled and blushed a bit. Of course, I felt relaxed with them and I definitely considered them as my friends but we didn’t knew each other for that long so this felt a little awkward.  “Ah, you don’t have to be shy. We are all girls having fun today.” Rochelle smiled “When we are on tour it’s hilarious. I’m gonna tell you about it later. It such a blast. You are coming with us on this tour right?” “I’m sorry but I’m not coming.  I don’t have days left and this is a subject Nick and I tried to avoid a bit. Simply because we both can stand the idea of being apart again for a couple of weeks” I sighed while a sad feeling came over me. “Aaaaaw, I know you’re gonna miss him. But I don’t think you have to worry about him missing you. Because he will miss you, big time. I’ve never seen him in love like this. You really stole his heart girl” Leighanne said. “Well, maybe I must do something to remind him of what he’s leaving behind” I smiled. “And we are going to help you with that” Rochelle laughed and wrapped her arm around me.

We left the coffee shop and walked down the boulevard. After walking by different kinds of stores we stopped at the erotic shop hidden in the alley.  

We went inside the shop and looked at all the hilarious things they sold. We giggled a couple of times seeing so many ‘toys’ in the most bizarre shapes and colors. We then walked into ‘clothes’ section and tried different kinds of very sexy outfits. Rochelle succeeded in no time by picking a red and black velvet sexy body with stocking suspenders and Stiletto heel patent leather Boots and assisted both me as well as Leighanne with our search for the best breath taking surprise possible for our men. Leighanne tried some very sexy ladies underwear and finally picked out a very nice very very short tight baby blue push up dress decorated with little fake diamonds and matching tong. To finish the outfit she chose matching colored killer heels. The only one who didn't knew what to pick was me. That shop was amazing! There was so much choice.
  
"Kirsten, I think I found something" Rochelle gestured to come to her. I did and instantly fell in love with what she'd picked out. She showed me a "Moulin Rouge" style egg plant colored satin push-up body with black ruches. It had to be closed with black satin laces in the front at the breasts. "Oh my God, wow that is so pretty. Do you think Nick likes that?" I was a bit insecure. Not because the outfit wasn't okay. I was insecure if I looked good in it. Rochelle smiled "sweetheart, I bet that the minute he sees you in that outfit he is like wax in your hands. Trust me. Now come with me and try it on" she grabbed my arm and took me to the fitting room. I tried it on and I was astonished with my reflection in the mirror. "Wow" I mumbled. "Can we look?" I heard Leighanne on the other side of the curtain. "Sure" I said. They came in and their jaws dropped down. "You look gorgeous honey" Leighanne smiled " I know for sure Nick is gonna love it". "Wait, shoes, you need shoes" Rochelle quickly slipped back into the store and picked out matching peep toe stiletto pumps and black stocking suspenders. "And now..... we are going to take your picture on your cell so you can send it to Nick when he left for the tour. Believe me, he will go nuts" Leighanne giggled. Honestly, we all giggled. Three naughty ladies planning a surprise for our men. Hmmmm I guess they didn't see that one coming.

Meanwhile, Nick was in the middle of a meeting with the guys and their management. Things got a little tensed when Jenny announced another 7 tour dates added to the tour. AJ, Howie and Brian responded with enthusiasm. The Backstreetboys being successful again lately was a very good thing. But instead of feeling rejoiced about it Nick felt anger rising inside. This meant that he and Kirsten couldn't be together for an even longer period of time. Jenny looked around the meeting room smiled but then noticed Nick's angry expression on his face. "Sssht let's stay focused okay. This means we have to make a new schedule for the VIP Backstage tour. Brian was the last one on the list right?" Brian nodded "Yep". "So Nick would be next in line" she looked in Nick's direction. Nick didn't respond and was looking down at the white elliptical table. "Earth to Nick, someone asked you a question buddy." Brian joked around. "Mind your own business" Nick bitched at Brian. Brian frowned and stared at him "what is wrong with you? I was just messing around". Everybody in the room stared at Nick. "Whatever! Jen, put me next on the list for the tour. Do whatever you want" Nick said grumpy. "Does this attitude have something to do with the added tour dates?" Jenny asked carefully. "Gee I don't know. Maybe. You figure it out" he snarled. "Come on Nick, don't be such an ass. Don't make us guess what's on your mind. Tell us and maybe we can do something about it" Howie tried to sooth.

“Let me clarify MY point to you” Nick’s anger was building up inside as he raised his voice facing  Howie “for months we have been discussing the tour. Every tour date, every venue, which songs, which hotels we should stay in, the clothes, the food, the time tables, dance routines, which talk shows we must attend and so on. Now please tell me something, how is it possible that, all of the sudden, tour dates are added without ANY ONE BOTHERINGTELLING ME” Nick yelled the last words.  “DON’T YOU DARE YELLING AT ME NICK” Howie yelled back at him.” For I am not the one who’s mind is everywhere but here” Howie snapped back. “In fact we did discuss this during our meeting, last week, but maybe it didn’t had YOUR ATTENTION AS USUAL LATELY!” Howie felt he’d lost his patience towards Nick. It was one thing that he had a new girlfriend, which was wonderful of course and she was very sweet and fun to hang around with, but Nick wasn’t interested in Backstreet stuff at all, lately. And of course when you are in love, especially in the beginning, it’s hard to focus on work, that’s all understandable but he now crossed the line with his fury.  It became very annoying to the rest of the group and crewmembers to fix his mess. Nick was supposed to arrange the opening act but last week it became painfully clear that he still hadn’t done it. Howie stepped up for him and quickly managed to arrange the openings act instead. “Oh yeah? Well I don’t believe you” Nick got up from his seat and walked over to Howie. AJ quickly stepped in front of Howie. “Don’t worry Alex, if he wants to punch me he’s more than welcome” Howie said calm. “Oh am I now?” Nick replied provoking “Get out of my way Alex”. “Or else what, Nick” AJ became angry “you are gonna hit me in, just like you want to do with Howie. You know what, if this is the only way for you to settle this, maybe we should fire you” he said calmly. “What?” Nick frowned. “I didn’t knew you had a hearing problem as well” AJ said sarcastically. Jenny stepped in between AJ and Nick and interfered “Guys, time for lunch. I want you back here within an hour. Nick, I want you to stay here for a couple of minutes. We need to talk”

Everybody left the room except for Nick and Jenny. “You want a soda?” Jen asked while she took one for herself out of the little refrigerator. “Sure” he answered. She walked back to table “Sit down”. He did as he was told. “Now tell me, what’s wrong? Does it have anything to do with your new girlfriend?” she asked while opening her can. Nick took a deep breath “actually it does. You know Jen, I really love her. And the thought of not seeing her that long is killing me”. “But you don’t have to be without her. Why don’t you take her with you on tour?” Jen smiled. “You have your own bus and besides the other guys are also allowed to take their wives and girlfriends with them. I don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to do the same”. Nick sighed “Well the thing is, she doesn’t have days left  for vacation, this year”. “Well be a man, call her boss and tell him you’ll pay for the extra days. If you really want to show her your love you should do this”. “But what if her boss says no?” “Come on Nick, use your persuasive power. He won’t say no. Not if you explain why” she smiled.  

“Listen, you are going to call her boss today and the minute he says yes you come to me and I’ll make sure plane tickets are booked on her name and all the other stuff will be arranged for her to come with us. But, there is a but in this story” she said. “Sure, I’ll do anything” Nick had a real big smile on his face.  “I want you” she continued “to make your biggest most sincerest apology ever towards the guys and the crew and”.  Nick interrupted “sure”. “No Nick, let me finish what I’m about to say. I want you to apologize for  your attitude during this meeting , for letting us down since you are in love and, probably the most important thing, especially the way you behaved towards Howie today. He did cover your back when you  failed to get us an opening act. They didn’t deserve to be treated that way”. Nick felt ashamed. He had been acting like a child and he knew it. “You’re right, I was very unreasonable. I will apologize to them” he said hoarse while gazed at the floor. “Now go have something to eat and make up to them” Jen smiled and blinked at him. “I will” he blushed and walked out of the meeting room. 

On his way to the cafeteria he became nervous to face the others. His behavior had been way out of proportion. As he came near to  the cafeteria his heart pounded in his throat and his hands where sweaty. He walked through the door. Everybody was having lunch and chatted with whoever was sitting at their table. Nick grabbed himself a plate and a couple of sandwiches, a salad and a bottle of water. He looked to see where the guys were sitting and they had chosen a table in the back of the room. He walked up to them and as he got to the table he coughed softly “sorry, is this seat taken” he asked shy facing the floor. “Whatever you want” Brian’s voice sounded cold. Nick noticed the conversations had immediately stopped. He took the seat and sat down. After he placed his plate to the table he dared to look at the guys. “Ehm I’m sorry I’m not good at this” he scraped his throat and became very red. “ I want you all to know that I am very, very sorry for the way that I’ve been treating you lately. You guys don’t deserve to be treated this way. I’m sorry for my attitude this morning. I don’t want to make excuses for the way I acted but you see, I thought that I wasn’t going to see Kirsten for quite a while and I found that very difficult. I don’t think I can miss her that long. Hell, I don’t even know if I can even miss her for one night. And when Jen told me there were more tour dates and that the tour was extended with another week something snapped inside of me. I’m sorry guys. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. And Howie, I’m so sorry” Nick felt the lump in his throat. He looked up towards Howie while a tear ran down his face. Howie had a little smile on his face. He got up from his seat and walked over to Nick who also got up. Without a word Howie gave him a hug. “It’s okay buddy. I understand. Now go have some lunch okay” Howie smiled. “And the rest of you?” Nick asked. AJ nodded “apology accepted. But next time I will punch you first” he said with his raspy voice. Nick smiled “that’s a deal”. “So what is going to happen with you and Kirsten” Brian asked. “Well, Jen told me she could come with us too” Nick smiled. “Oh, that’s good news” Brian replied ecstatic. “Yes it is. The only problem now is that she doesn’t have spare days left to take another vacation. But Jen already mentioned that I should call her boss, without her knowing of course, to make it happen anyway. So that’s what I’m going to do this afternoon” Nick smiled from ear to ear. “Wow, I keep my fingers crossed!” Brian smiled. The rest of the lunch was nice and relaxed. 

The girls were having a blast while shopping and the boys were busy with their work. During the afternoon Nick called Kirsten’s boss and settled the vacation. Her boss was such a friendly guy and felt there was absolutely no problem in her taking a long break. “Go make her happy” the guy had said to him. Nick made sure the money for the extra days was send to him immediately. He then informed Jenny and couldn’t wait to get home that night to surprise her. Gosh he felt so relieved. Now they could stay together and she could get used a little to life on the road.      

Nick drove home that night. He got a text from Kirsten saying the she would run a little later because she and the girls decided to grab dinner at the boulevard. She promised that she would come straight to his house afterwards. Nick smiled. He was the happiest man alive at this moment. Within half an hour he came home and had some left over lasagna with a salad and a soda. Another fifteen minutes later he received another text from Kirsten saying she was on her way. He quickly lighted the candles in the living room, poured red wine in two glasses and set out a bowl of fresh green olives along with a plate of French bread, garlic butter. He had printed out the e-mail from her boss confirming her vacation for the next couple of weeks to convince her in case she didn’t believe him. Jen gave him a copy of the first plane ticket booked on her name. He shined of happiness. 

Finally he heard the doorbell. He rushed to the door and as soon the door flew open and she appeared in the doorway he smiled from ear to ear. “Hi baby” he said low – voiced . “Hi sweetie” she spoke with her sweet voice. She had her hands filled with different kinds of bags. As a gentleman he first relieved her from the bags and then turned around towards her and wrapped his arms around her. He looked her deep in her eyes and kissed her. His velvet lips touched hers softly. She eagerly answered his kiss and he softly guided her backwards to the right wall of the hallway. Her hands ran down his back and he held her, if possible, even closer to him. Their lips where still connected and his tongue softly entered her mouth. The kiss went from soft and romantic to sensual. Their tongues were tangled in a sensual dance. Nick’s one hand held her close to his body while the other ran down her back to her fine booty. She pushed her nails softly in his back. Nick’s stomach was filled with lust and butterflies and as he intensified the kiss his hand softly slid from her booty  to the front of her waist. He softly caressed the fabric of her jeans and his hand disappeared between her legs. A soft moan escaped from her mouth. She wanted this man between her legs so badly. But she had a plan and she wanted to stick to that. She softly pushed him away from her. “Is something wrong  princess?” Nick stopped kissing and touching and looked at her with worried eyes. Kirsten grinned “No hottie, nothing’s wrong, in fact everything is perfect. But I have a little surprise for you which I think you are gonna like. So before we jump in the hot and steamy sex I’ve been looking forward to all day you must give me the opportunity to show my surprise to you”. Nick glared at her with lust in his eyes  “Sure, give it to me now then we can continue. I can’t wait to please you princess. Kirsten smiled “No it can’t be given like that. I have to put it on” she teased. “ But baby, you don’t have put it on you only have to get undressed” he teased back. “Kirsten laughed and kissed him. “How long will it take?” he asked impatiently “I want you baby, you drive me crazy’. Kirsten smiled naughty “gimme ten minutes max. I promise, you won’t regret it” she teased him. “If you’re not down here in ten minutes I’ll come up and I’ll fuck you wherever you are” he said hoarse. She grinned and stepped away from him. As she turned around to bend over  to the floor she felt his hands on her booty “Don’t make me wait baby” he whispered. “I’ll be back soon baby” she whispered back and gave him a last horny kiss.

Nick sighed as she went upstairs to his room to get changed. He sat down on the sofa and nipped his red wine. God that woman was hot. She managed to turn him on every second of the day. His manhood was still standing strong in his shorts waiting eagerly for her to come down. 

After a couple of minutes Kirsten came down dressed in her  egg plant colored satin push-up body with black ruches and matching stockings and stiletto pumps. As soon as Nick saw her his jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes grew large. “Do you like what you see baby” Kirsten played innocent. “You shouldn’t be dressed like that when you’re around me. ‘Cause I can’t guarantee your safety looking like that” he grinned with a horny glare in his eyes. He got up from the sofa but Kirsten pushed him back. “Tonight, you’re gonna play by my rules” she said sensual. A dirty grin appeared on his face “I’m yours all night, do whatever you want”. She positioned herself on top of him. She felt his hard manhood pressing her love spot. Nick’s hands found her body and his hands went from her breasts to her pussy. Kirsten brought her mouth close to Nick’s and gave him little horny kisses. He eagerly answered them. Kirsten then used her tongue to take the kiss to the next sensual level. Nick’s hands rested on her breasts and massaged them over the fabric. He opened the laces of her outfit and as her breasts became naked he pressed both thumbs on her nipples and made sure they got hard and sensitive in an instant. Again a moan came out of Kirsten’s mouth. While kissing she softly ‘lap danced’ on top of him making him turned on as he never had been. She softly caressed his tool underneath his shorts with her love spot. A moan escaped from his mouth too. “I want you now” he whispered. “Shhht, patience baby” she said. She got up from him and slowly undressed herself in front of him except for her shoes and stocking. She stretched out her left leg to him and his hands caressed the inside of her leg all the way to her thigh. Kirsten had her eyes clothes and sighed of pleasure. His tongue followed his hand within a matter of seconds his lips softly kissed her between her thighs. It didn’t took long for his tongue to follow. “Oh God Nick” she whispered while he softly caressed the inside of her thighs with his tongue. She moaned of pleasure and held the back of his head with both her hands. “Oh yeah baby, don’t stop” she gasped. Nick continued and placed his strong warm hands on her but to keep her in place. He liked to please her. The fact that she could have orgasms so easily was another thing that turned him on. As her breathing got heavier and her moaning got louder he decided to take her to the next lever. While continuing he softly pushed two fingers inside her shaft “Oooh Yesss” she moaned and her body rocked a little. He trusted his fingers inside her quickly followed by the third and at that point there was no way back. He guided her to her to the top of her orgasm and a she became louder her body shivered completely taken by it. She found heaven. 

After her relieve she got rid of his shorts and positioned herself on top of him again. She let his manhood slid inside her between her thighs. At the same time both Nick as Kirsten moaned. Kirsten softly withdrew herself and slid over him again. “Oh god baby, what are you doing to me” Nick sighed with his eyes closed. She repeated the same thing for a couple of times making him completely crazy until Nick found it was time to speed things up a little. He placed his hands on her waist and trusted her hard while she was on top of him. She pressed her body down so that his trusts came in deeper and harder. She moaned and sighed and Nick made noise as well. The trusts went faster and harder and while Kirsten had another orgasm Nick held in at the last moment. He got her of his lap and turned her around so that she’d bend over to lean over the sofa supporting herself against it. While she stood there in that provoking way he immediately was filled with even more lust than before and he entered her with force. He trusted her with all he had inside and they both made it to an exquisite orgasm.  

After they rested a little they went under a blanket on the sofa and watched TV. Nick wanted to give his surprise but was waiting for the right moment.        

While watching a movie he noticed Kirsten’s sad facial expression “What’s wrong sweetie?” He sat up straight and wrapped his arm around her. “I dunno, I…” she took a deep breath “I couldn’t help thinking about this being our last week together.  We have been avoiding the subject a little but the time is almost there for you to leave” she said quietly looking at the floor. She felt a big lump in her throat and fought to hold back the tears. Nick cupped her face and gently lifted it up to where he could look into her eyes. A tear slowly made his way down her face. Nick wiped the tear away with his thumb and kissed her softly. “I know, It’s gonna be hard work and very long days for me and the guys. And I apologize already for you having to spend time on your own or with the others while we are in rehearsals or backstage tours with the fans” Nick smiled. Kirsten looked at him with confusion “What are you talking about? I can’t come with you. I have to work next week. I already told you. Besides I don’t have any days left  forthis year and… .” Nick pointed his finger at her mouth “Shhht baby, the situation has changed. You are coming with me. Trust me” he got up and walked to the dresser that was in the corner of the room. He took an envelope out of the drawer and walked back to the couch. “I want you to open the envelope, read the documents inside and take a moment to let it all sink in. Meanwhile, I’m going to get us something to drink and when I’m coming back I expect to see you with a big beautiful smile on your very pretty face” he handed over the envelope and kissed her forehead. He took both glasses and went to the kitchen.

Kirsten opened the envelope and felt her heartbeat rising rapidly inside her chest. She couldn’t believe him. She didn’t had any days left and there was no one else who could take over her work. She took out the documents and laid them in front of her on the table. The first document she opened and read was the confirmation of her plane ticket. Her jaw dropped with disbelieve. This was a document which said that this ticket was booked on her name and that she had to board next Monday at twelve noon. She took the second document. It was the booking confirmation of the hotel where she and Nick (and she guessed the other guys too) would stay. It was a 5* hotel.  Seeing her name together with Nick’s on the booking reservation made her feel all warm inside. She carefully placed that document on the table and took the last one out. This was an e-mail between Nick and her boss confirming that Kirsten could take off while being on tour on Nick’s costs but that her salary was still paid by the company. He wrote that they would be fine without her for a couple of weeks. But there was a ‘but’ involved. Her boss wrote that he only gave permission if Nick did everything in his power to make Kirsten happy. He wanted to see Kirsten in a couple of weeks with a big smile on her face glowing of happiness.  “My god, baby. I can’t believe this” she got up and hugged Nick who just put the glasses on the table.. “Thank you so much” she whispered as tears rolled over her face “ I mean it. I’m speechless. This is amazing. Thank you”. He pulled her close and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “You didn’t really believe that I could be without you for so long, now did you?” he played with a string of her hair. “Honestly Kirsten, I can’t live without you. I knew that for sure when we had that big fight about Kirk. I felt so miserable without you” he said hoarse. “Me too” she said quietly “I’m sorry if I hurt you that day Nick”. “Don’t. I was to blame, not you” he smiled and kissed her. “I love you and I’m very, very happy that you are coming with me on tour. So tomorrow you and I have to start packing” he tickled her. Kirsten cracked “Stop, stop, oh please stop”. Nick stopped the tickling “So do you have a proper suitcase? If not you can get one of mines. I have plenty in the attic” he sat down. “I do have a large one. Though I don’t know if that’s enough for what you have to pack for tour” she said with a little doubt in her voice. “Doesn’t matter. You show me that thing tomorrow and then you pick another one from me. One is not enough. Not for the amount of weeks we’re going. Two is gonna be a close call but we’ll see. Three is definitely maximum. We don’t want to overdue the budget that is available for our traveling”. “And you also have to help me in what to bring with me.” “I will, but I think it’s also a good ideaand  if you called Rochelle or Leighanne tomorrow. Perhaps she can help also”. “That’s a good idea sweetie, I will”.

They finished their beverages and went to be bed. They curled op at each other and quickly fell asleep with a smile on their faces.       

Kirsten opened her eyes. It was still dark which meant that it had to be very early in the morning. Nick was in deep sleep right next to her. The sun wasn’t even up yet. Cramps of pain ran through her stomach . It was probably her period. She waited until this flash of pain went by. Within a minute or two the wave of pain slowly drifted off. Kirsten sneaked out of bed as quiet as possible and tiptoed to the bedroom door. She opened it as careful as possible to make sure she didn’t wake Nick. She stepped into the hall and quietly closed the door behind her. Another pain wave shot through her body. “Oh God” she moaned silently. She sat down on the floor off the hall since her legs couldn’t hold her anymore. This wasn’t normal. She usually had her cramps before getting her period but they usually weren’t that bad. After this wave passed by she got up again and headed downstairs. She knew she had to had painkillers as soon as possible. She first went into the toilet for a sanitary towel. Another heavy pain wave arrived. After waiting for a couple of minutes she had the power to get up again and went inside the living room for some painkillers. She always carried them with her. She didn’t used them daily, in fact, she wasn’t a big fan of using painkillers at all. But at this moment they were needed. Definitely needed. As she opened her purse she felt another pain wave coming. This one was even heavier than all the waves before. Instinct took over and she tried to puff this wave away. This pain was killing. The wave took very long.  She couldn’t sit, she couldn’t lay down, she couldn’t stand still. The only way to make it a little bearable was to keep moving. Although it must have been pretty scary for someone else seeing her move so relentless she had to do it in order not to collapse to the floor.

 She was so caught up in her pain that she didn’t noticed the footsteps on the stairs. The door of the living room opened and Nick appeared in the doorway in his boxers with a bed head. He looked confused and worried “Sweetie, are you okay”. He saw her moving up and down the room with her pale face and eyes drowned in pain. She puffed while she tried to answer “I.. am… just having … cramps … that’s all…”. “This is not okay. I’m taking you to the hospital” Nick walked to the phone. “No… don’t… it’s nothing… it’s just … my period… coming up”. “No, this is something else sweetie. I have sisters, I know what’s normal when periods arrive and this is not normal” he frowned worried. He grabbed the phone and called the emergency number. The nurse asked if he could take her to the hospital since this was no life threatening situation. Right as he put down his cell Kirsten collapsed on the floor and passed out. “ F*ck”  he rushed over to her to make sure she was still breathing. He felt a heartbeat. He tried to wake her up but that didn’t work. Panic rushed over him. He ran upstairs to get some clothes on and rushed downstairs again. He lifted Kirsten into his arms and rushed to the car and softly placed her in the back seat. He speeded up to the hospital. It might not be a ‘life threatening’  situation to the lady of the hospital but this situation was f*cking scary. 

In the backseat of the car Kirsten regained consciousness. She opened her eyes trying to understand where she was “ Nick” she spoke hoarse. “Sweetie, thank God your back again. You got me so scared”  he looked at her via the mirror of the car “How are you feeling now baby? ” Kirsten looked into Nick’s eyes through the mirror and started to cry “ Not good, it hurts” she sobbed as tears rolled down her face. “Oh baby, I wish there was something I could do” Nick felt a big lump in his throat and tears well up in his own eyes. He couldn’t bare it when he saw her in so much pain. He now was even more determined to  get to the hospital as fast as possible “Hold on sweetie, we’re almost at the hospital”  he said as he speeded his car down the highway. Who cares if he got a speeding ticket. There was no one on the road at this time of night so he could race to the hospital without being bothered by other car drivers. With Kirsten moaning and sobbing in the backseat they finally reached the hospital. Nick parked the car kind of sloppy and rushed inside the hospital with Kirsten in his arms. As soon as the hospital personnel caught eyes on them they immediately were directed to the ER and went inside an examining room. 

The doctor ran some tests on her, including a blood test, and they had to wait for half an hour before the results would come back. In the mean time she had gotten a heavy painkiller. They spoke about what might have caused these pain waves. At one point the doctor asked her if she had a regular period. He wanted to know when the last period had started and when she was expecting to have her period again this month. He also wanted to know if she had sexual intercourse lately. Kirsten suddenly realized that she was 3 weeks late. Until now. She told the doctor about it and explained that there had been a lot going on in her life right now and that she was unaware that her period had been absent for that long. Nick’s jaw dropped down “ Does that mean that she could be having a miscarriage right now?” “That’s definitely possible” the doctor answered. “ But how? She takes birth control pills and we use condoms”  Nick was astonished. “ Well condoms and birth control aren’t one hundred percent safe. Of course using them together is extra safe but as you two can see there is still a very small possibility of getting pregnant” the doctor answered. A soft knock on the door announced the test results. Kirsten did indeed had an early miscarriage. The doctor explained that a lot of women had early miscarriages without even knowing. It was nothing to worry about. The rest of the test results showed that Kirsten was in great health. The doctor gave her some prescription pain killers and advised her to, if she still had heavy pains and bleedings after more than three days, she had to come back for check up.

During the drive back to the house Nick and Kirsten both where silent. They had to digest what just happened. They never talked to each other about having kids. Of course it was very early in their relationship to make huge decisions like that but these things apparently knocked on your door when you least expected it.  “ Honey “ Nick placed his hand on her knee “I was thinking about it and this might sound weird but I am actually very happy to know you were pregnant. But I’m also feeling sad right now knowing we’ve lost it” a tear rolled down his face. Kirsten smiled sadly and rubbed his arm “I never really thought about having children but I do want them. And knowing now that we were almost there breaks my heart” Kirsten sobbed. Nick parked the car on the side of the road and held her tight “I love you”  he whispered “ an one day, sooner or later, we’ll start a family. I know you’re gonna be a great mom” he kissed her on her head as he held her even tighter. “I love you Nick, and I know you are a gonna be an awesome dad to our future baby” she sobbed. 

When they arrived at the house the pain killers were doing their job. Both Nick and Kirsten took a cup of hot milk and chocolate chip cookies before heading to bed again. “You said in the car that you want to have kids sooner or later, but what exactly did you mean by that?” Kirsten asked shy. “Exactly like I said it. If it was up to me you’d stop taking birth control immediately” Nick smiled and yawned at the same time “but let’s talk about this tomorrow okay? I’m very tired and you should rest as well.” Kirsten nodded being completely overwhelmed with what just had been said by the love of her life. At this point she was too tired to think about it. She quickly changed her sanitary towel while Nick waited for her outside the toilet. They both went upstairs and crawled back to bed. Nick wrapped his arm around her and held her tight. Within minutes they both fell into a deep sleep.   

Nick woke up with Kirsten still asleep in his arms. Their legs were strangled in eachother. He thaught about what happened late last night. He was shocked to found out about the miscarriage. The fact that they didn't knew eachother that long was no problem for him. He always knew he wanted kids someday and given the fact that he was 32, now would be a good time for it. And Kirsten would definately be a great mom. He knew for sure she was suitable. The way she was able to handle AJ and other strange dogs and make them listen in a natural kind of way felt like a promise for when kids would come around.

Kirsten moved in her sleep. Nick smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her. Her head was now between his chin and shoulder. He felt her warm breath against his neck.

He kissed her forehead and that's when she woke up. Her eyes opened and as soon as she saw Nick a smile apeared on her face.

"Hey gorgeous, did you sleep well?"

"I've been awake a lot" Kirsten yawned and rolled closer against Nick's body.

"Do you still feel cramps or is the pain less then last night" Nick played with a string of her hair.

"I still feel cramps. Even through the medication. And I bleed a lot. But that should be over within a day or three" she stared at the ceiling.

"About the baby thing..." Nick started.

"Sweetie, can we talk about it later? Don't get me wrong it's not like I don't want kids but I need a little time to get over this. It's been a little intens for me" tears welled up in Kirsten's eyes.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Of course it can wait" Nick kissed her forehead and held her close "it's okay ssshht, it's okay baby. I love you".

Hearing these words made Kirsten even more emotional. The tears poured over her face. For a moment she couldn't stop crying. And all this time Nick held her in silence stroking her hair and her back.

After a couple of minutes Kirsten got her emotions in control and dried her eyes "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to cry like that".

"Don't apologize princess. Never apologize over your emotions" Nick kissed her.

"Shall I make you breakfast?" Nick asked "that way you can take a shower and relax a little".

"Yes I'd like that baby" Kirsten smiled.

Nick walked out of the room. Only seconds later he returned. "Sweety, there is someone who's dying to see you" he smiled. He looked over his shoulder "come in buddy, come".

AJ ran inside the room wagging his tail and jumping on the bed with joy as soon as he saw Kirsten. It was as if AJ sensed something had happened to his owner because besides of his enthousiastic entrance he was very gentle, almost careful, in his approach to her. Kirsten petted her dog and AJ curled up near her with his head on her lap.

Nick felt heartbroken by the sad look on her face. He wanted to do something to make her feel better. He put on his glasses and some clothes and went downstairs to the kitchen. He took his cell and called Jen.

"Jen"
"Hey Jen, it's Nick"
"Hi Nick, how are you?"
"I'm fine and you?"
"Me too"
"Great! Listen can you get me the number of Cesar Millan, the dogwhisperer?"
"The dogwhisperer? Why? Are you having troubles with your dogs?" Jen laughed
"No" Nick laughed "promise not to tell anyone?"
"Sure, my lips are sealed".
"I want to arrange a surprise for Kirsten. She's a dogwhisperer fanatic" he smiled.
"Really? Ah that's sweet. I'll look it up for you and call you later today ok"
"Uhm is it possible to email me instead of calling? That way Kirsten won't find out".
"Sure".
"Thanks Jen"
"It's okay"

Nick made pancakes for breakfast with whipped cream and blueberries. He also made coffee and fresh orange juice.

After he was ready setting the table he heard human and dog footsteps coming  from the stairs.

The door opened and Kirsten and AJ came in.

"Oh, that looks delicious honey" Kirsten came up to him for a kiss.

After they ate breakfast Kirsten went out for some last minute tour grocery shopping.

Meanwhile Nick received an e-mail from Jen with the adress and telephone number of the Millan's office.

He dialed the number written in the e-mail.

"Cesar Millan's office, this is Tori speaking how can I help you" a sweet voice sounded through his phone.

"Hello this is Nick Carter, I'm from the Backstreetboy. I'm calling for mister Millan" Nick deliberately used his status to pull this off. Normally he hated it but for once...

“Mister Millan is not available at this moment. May I ask what’s  the reason for your call?”

“Ehm… My girlfriend is a huge fan of Cesar Millan and I would like to surprise her. She’s been trough some difficult things lately” Nick nervously played with his keychain.

“You know what, I’m going to ask mister Millan when would be a good time for him. One moment please, this might take a while because I have to go outside. Please hold the line okay”.

“Of course. Thank you so much”. Nick was nervous. He desperately wanted this surprise to work.

After a couple of minutes the girl got back on the phone.

“Mister Carter, Cesar asks if you’re able to meet him tomorrow at two at the Dog Psychology Centre. He loves the idea and would like to meet you”.

“Oh great, that’s amazing. Two is fine. And what’s the address?” Nick smiled from ear to ear.

After he wrote down the address he thanked her and they hung up. He was so happy. This was going to be amazing. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.

He knew Kirsten would come home soon so he carefully hid the address in his wallet. As he looked inside the wallet he saw that it was empty. “Shit” he grumbled. He had to go to the ATM today to get some cash.

He walked upstairs to the attic for the suitcases and brought them down to the bedroom. It was time to start packing for the tour. Of course Nick was a professional when it came down to packing. He made piles of clothes on the bed that had to be packed and took the ironing board and the flat iron from the other room. Half an hour later, while he was ironing a pair of jeans, he heard the door and Kirsten’s voice calling for him.

“Honey, I’m home” she called and he immediately heard the sound of tripping paws in the living room.

Nick laughed out loud while folding his jeans. AJ was hilarious. That dog was such a cutie. He loved that animal to death. He reached out to a shirt to iron that one.

Kirsten walked up to the bedroom and saw him ironing. She stopped to watch him for a second. Nick looked up to her and smiled.

“What you’re looking at Princess?” he smirked.

“Nothing” she smiled “except I love the sight of you handling that iron so well”.

“Well I wanted to ask you to do it for me but you weren’t there” he teased her.

“Ah but it seems you do it perfect on your own” Kirsten laughed “Hell, your iron skills are better than mine”.

“Thanks honey, but you still have to iron your stuff yourself” he smiled.

She walked up to him and kissed him “I’ve missed you”.

“I’ve missed you to babe” Nick continued the ironing “did you get everything you need?”.

“Yes I did. I have it downstairs. But I think it’s more practical to bring it in here”.

“Just wait for me okay? I’m almost done. I’ll take it upstairs for you”.

“Ah thanks sweetheart”.

“So how are you feeling now sweetie?” he looked down at the iron board, busy folding up a t-shirt.

She sighed. “I’m okay I guess. I steel feel weird. It’s like I have an extremely heavy period, you know. Of course you don’t know. You’re a guy”.

“Hey hey, don’t underestimate me. I’ve grown up with sisters who had heavy periods so I do know a little about it. Especially BJ was a mess sometimes”.

“Okay. Well I’m happy you understand”.

Nick pulled out the plug from the flat iron. He noticed that she was looking a little pale. He walked to Kirsten and wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed her. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he  whispered.

“Is it as much as I love you?” she whispered back.

“Maybe more” he held her more tight.

They then heard paws on the stairs and within seconds AJ and one of Nick’s dogs ran towards them.

That day he and Kirsten drove to her house and also packed her suitcases. They then drove back to Nick’s place. When they returned home he ordered pizza that was delivered within forty minutes. When he opened the door the pizza guy said it was fifteen dollars and thirty cents. “One moment please, I’ll get my wallet”. Nick walked inside.

“Fuck” he grumbled.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Kirsten headed over to him.

 “Shit, I forgot to stop by the ATM. I don’t have any cash here”.

“Oh, don’t worry. I have money. How much is it?”

“It’s fifteen thirty”.

She took her wallet from her purse and gave him twenty dollars.

Nick paid the pizza guy and went inside with the pizza’s. They had dinner.

Around 7:30 Nick looked at his watch.

“Sweetie, I was thinking. It such a nice evening. Do you feel like going for a walk in the dunes with me?”

“Sure, I would like that. Do you want to take the dogs with us?” she looked up to him.

“No, actually I just want to go with the two us”.

“Sure. Let’s go” she got up from the sofa and walked to the hall to get her jacket. Nick followed her.

They arrived at the dunes. As soon as they got out of the car they walked on a small shell - path that eventually lead them to the beach. Nick took her hand and they were both silent for a while. Each having their own thoughts.

They crossed a field with a sloping hill. On it where bushes, marram grass and some gentian bog’s.

“Oh my god” Kirsten squeaked “Nick look, baby bunnies”.

Nick looked up from his thoughts. He had been thinking about the tour and his surprise for her. He saw a group of rabbits in the fields and some little ones playing and running after each other. It was adorable.

 He saw the happy glow on her face when she looked at the little rabbits.

“You like rabbit’s don’t you?” he smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah I do” she spoke softly “I used to have rabbits when I was a child”.

They stood there and watched these animals for a while. They then walked further. It was already becoming dusk when they got to the beach. The sun was already going down. Nick sat down in the sand and Kirsten sat down too between his legs. Her back leaned against his chest and he had his arms folded around her waist.

“Do you want to listen to some music” Kirsten looked at Nick over her shoulder.

“Sure, but I forgot my Ipod”.

“I have mines. It does have BSB on it, I hope you don’t mind?” she turned back to get her Ipod.

“Well, normally I’m not that keen on boy band music but for now I’m willing to make an exception” he laughed.

Kirsten giggled. She gave him an earphone and used the other one for herself. They sat there for a while with Nick holding her. She leaned back at him and he leaned with his head on her shoulder while looking at the sunset.

A couple of songs later the music of Story Of My Life (BSB) started. Kirsten felt a lump in her throat and tears welled up in her eyes.

 So staring at the wall
Feeling ten feet small
It's like the world is on your shoulders
Now nothing's making sense
You just wanna quit
You runaway but you just don't know
How to feel what is real
You're not alone

(Chorus)
Everybody falls, everybody cries
Everybody feels like a nobody sometimes
You get up again, give it one more try
Everybody's got what it takes on the inside
Story of your life, story of your life
It's the story of my life

Tears rolled over her cheeks as she sat completely still. Nick noticed her crying but decided not to ask anything. He let her be. Knowing it was good thing that she went through these emotions.

Then, sometimes you got to crawl
Before you start to walk
I'll be there
I've had my rainy days
You try to keep up a smile
You go the extra mile
You run the race no matter where your place
You know which way to go so turn the page

Everybody falls, everybody cries
Everybody feels like a nobody sometimes
You get up again, give it one more try
Everybody's got what it takes on the inside
Story of your life, story of your life
It's the story of my life

Nick also felt a lump in his throat. Tears welled up in his own eyes. And he couldn’t push them away.

It's hard to be strong
No right seems wrong
And nobody hears what you say
So don't be afraid
Hold on to your faith
I swear to you there will be better days

So staring at the wall
Feeling ten feet small
It's like the world is on your shoulders

(Chorus)
Everybody falls, everybody cries
Everybody feels like a nobody sometimes
You get up again, give it one more try
Everybody's got what it takes on the inside

Kirsten looked over her shoulder at Nick and noticed he was crying too “Oh baby” she sighed. She turned around to face him and kissed him. She wiped the tears away from his face and then she did the same on her own face “we need time to get over this”.

Everybody falls (Everybody falls), everybody cries (everybody cries)
Everybody feels like a nobody sometimes
You get up again, give it one more try
Everybody's got what it takes on the inside
Story of your life, story of your life
It's the story of my life

When it got dark they went back to the car and drove home. There was a serene silence between them. Not a bad silence. But a serene one. They both realized what effect this miscarriage had on them both. It created an unbreakable bond between them.

 The next day Nick told Kirsten he had a last BSB meeting to discuss the last things before the tour would start. He left around one thirty.

Kirsten was busy finishing her packing when the phone rang.

“Carter residence, this is Kirsten” she answered the phone.

“Hi Kirsten, it’s Kevin”.

“Oh, eh hi Kev, how are you?” She was surprised. Shouldn’t he be at the meeting too?

“I’m fine, thank you. Busy packing. And you? I’ve heard you’re joining us on tour”

“I’m almost done. Nick warned me not to over pack” she grinned.

“Hehe I understand why he did that. I have a wife of my own, I need to warn her every tour”.

 “Haha, well I’m curious who’s having more luggage, you guys or I. My bet is on AJ”.

“Yeah, you could be right about that” he laughed.

“But eh, shouldn’t you be at the BSB meeting?”

“BSB meeting? I don’t know of any. Why?”

“Well, Nick just headed off to one half an hour ago. He said it was to discuss the last things before the tour would start”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously”

“Hold on okay, I’ll get my organizer. I have a list of meetings with BSB. I can’t believe I missed out on one”.

Kirsten waited for Kevin. After a couple of minutes he came back on the phone.

“Kirsten, I’ve double checked the list, my e-mail and my text messages but zero meeting today. I even called Brian to check and he didn’t knew of a meeting today either. So I don’t know what Nick’s up to but wherever he is, it’s no BSB meeting”.

Kirsten stayed silence. She couldn’t believe Nick was lying to her. Why would he say he had a meeting when it wasn’t true?

“Listen, I’m sure he had a perfectly good explanation for this”

“Yeah, sure” she sighed “but I really can’t stand it when people lie to me. No matter what reason is behind it”.

“When Nick gets home, tell him to call me will ya.. I tried his cell earlier but it’s off”.

“I,ll tell him to call you as soon as he gets home”.

“Meanwhile, don’t worry about it. Knowing Nick he’s probably out making arrangements to surprise you or something”.

“Yeah, he probably is. Well, I see you this Sunday at the airport. Give Kristen and Mason my love okay”

“I will, see you Sunday”

“Bye”

“Bye”

She placed the phone back on the hook. Although it didn’t mean anything at that point, the fact that Nick had been lying to her made her sad. She felt the tears coming up and before she knew it she cried her eyes out. Maybe she made a mistake forgiving him with what happened Jake.

This wasn’t the first time someone played with her heart and lied to her. Jonathan, her ex – boyfriend, cheated on her, a couple of years ago. Ever since that happened she had issues trusting guys. Nick was the first one she opened up to in a romantic way.

Her cell phone ringed. It was Jenna.

“Hey”

“Hey sweetie, how are you?”

"I’m okay” she chocked halfway true this sentence.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Tell me”.

“I eh, it’s nothing” Kirsten sobbed.

“Yeah right, nothing my ass. You don’t cry over “nothing”. No miss Harkema, you are gonna tell me what’s wrong or else I’ll come over and I promise you I’ll force you into telling me what’s on your mind. And that’s no threat, it’s a promise”.

Kirsten told her about the miscarriage. Jenna was shocked to hear what had happened. After having talked for over an hour they promised each other, since there was no time to meet each other before the tour started, to plan a girls night the Friday Kirsten would return.

Kirsten felt a lot lighter after she told Jenna.  For some reason she didn’t tell Jenna about what happened today.

Nick parked his car one street behind the street he had to be. All the other parking lots were full. Being a Backstreetboy didn’t mean that he could park wherever he wanted.

He was excited for what was going to happen. He turned off the car, walked to the other street and went inside a building.

As he entered the reception a curvy women with black hair and modern glasses just hung up the phone.

“Can I help you?”.

“Yes, I have an appointment with mister Millan” he said nervously.      

 “Okay, what’s your name?”

“Carter, Nick Carter”

She looked down at the open agenda on her desk.

 “Yes, I see the appointment scheduled for two o’clock. You can sit down in the waiting room. Mister Millan is going to be with you in a couple of minutes” she smiled.

After a little a while a door opened and a short Mexican guy came over.

“Mister Carter? I’m Cesar Millan” he smiled and reached out his hand.

Nick got up and shook his hand “Yes, Nick Carter. Nice to meet you”.

“You can follow me then we’ll go to my office”.

Nick followed him into a small room with a desk, a laptop, two comfy chairs and posters and pictures of dogs on the walls.

“Take a seat. Do you want something to drink?”

“Yes please, I’d like a coffee” Nick answered.

“Sure, black, with milk or cappuccino?”

“Uhm cappuccino sounds great too” Nick smiled.

Cesar grinned “sure I’ll have one myself too, so two  cappuccino coming up” he disappeared in the hallway.

Nick took out his cell from his pocket. No message from Kirsten. He hated lying to her but this was for a good cause. He wanted to surprise her and if everything turned out the way he had planned it this would be the most amazing surprise she had ever had. Besides, what’s the chance she would find out about it.

I love you x Nick

Nick pressed the send button on his phone. The door opened and Cesar came back inside the room. He handed over the cappuccino and took his seat on the other side of the desk.

“So Nick, tell me what can I do for you?”.

“I eh really would like to surprise my girlfriend. She’s a real big fan of you and she’s probably seen all of the Dog whisperer episodes”. Nick stopped for a second and took a deep breath to prepare himself for telling the reason all of this “ Well anyway, the reason why I’m here is that something bad happened the other day. She had a … she had a miscarriage a couple of days ago and I really want to cheer her up. I want to show her how much I love her. She’s everything to me and I know she would absolutely love, love, love it if you could show her around  and let her participate in your centre for one day”. Nick’s cheeks turned red. He quickly reached for the cappuccino.

“First of all, I’m sorry to hear about the miscarriage. There are some things in life people shouldn’t be experiencing”

“Thank you” Nick said with horse voice.

“Second of all, I usually don’t let people in my centre. One of the reasons for that is that it can easily affect the balance and the state of mind my pack is in which can cause big problems.  However, I’m willing to make an exception for you, but”

“Really? That’s awesome” Nick interrupted Cesar.

“But, I want her to wait a couple of weeks until she’s mentally stable again. I can’t afford dangerous situations because of humans that are unstable”.

“That’s not a problem at all. You see, we are going on tour tomorrow with the Backstreetboys. That will take her mind of the things that happened” Nick explained.

“Ok, sounds good. And how long will you be on the road?”

“for four weeks”.

“Wow, that’s a while. And when would you like to plan the big day?” Cesar took out a calendar from his drawer.

 “Whenever you have time I guess”

“Ehm, let’s see. How about….. ehm the Friday after your back from tour?”

“Perfect” Nick smiled. He couldn’t believe he pulled this off.  

“I’ll write it down. Do me a favor and leave your e-mail and phone number with my secretary okay? I’m going to e-mail you the further information like time, what clothes to wear etcetera”.

Cesar got up as well as Nick.

“Thanks Cesar, you have no idea what this means to us”.

“You’re welcome” he smiled.

“I have one last question”.

“Sure, tell me”.

 “Kirsten has a dog, AJ. He is very well behaved and she trained him by your principles. Can she bring him as well?”

“AJ is more than welcome”.

“Awesome”.

They said goodbye and Cesar let him out of the office. Nick walked back to the reception and left his e-mail and phone number.

 He couldn’t wait to get home. Of course Kirsten couldn’t  know about the surprise yet. That he would tell her when the tour was over.

Filled with excitement he jumped in his car and drove home.

 During the car drive Nick checked his cell for text messages. Nothing. He felt a little disappointed, but maybe she was sleeping of busy packing the last things.

As soon as he got home he walked inside the house.

“Sweetie, I’m home” he yelled looking up to the stairway.

“I’m upstairs” he heard her beautiful voice from the bedroom.

He rushed upstairs and walked up to the master bedroom. As soon as his eyes caught her sight his hart jumped for love. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. “I missed you” he whispered in her ear.

“And I missed you” she sighed. She unwrapped herself from him. She turned away from him to the closet “So how was your meeting?” she asked with her face away from him.

“Oh fine, everything has been settled and we are ready to go on tour now” Nick blushed. He hated lying to her.

“Hmmm, okay. And who where there at the meeting?”

That was a strange question to ask. She didn’t know he’d been lying to her right? Nick felt nervous. “Why do you want to know?”.

“Oh nothing, just curious” she answered looking straight at him.

“Is there something wrong baby? Are you in pain? Your acting strange”.

“Oooh, I’m acting strange. Right….” She bend her head a little. “Let me give you some advise. Next time you decide to lie to me it’s wise if you inform the people who are in the lie as well”. The look in her eyes where cold as ice.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what Nick, you really disappointed me today. Telling me you’re in a meeting and later I found out you’re not.  Now tell me, where the hell have you been? Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Tell me so I can leave” she said with a dangerous calmness in her voice.

“No” he said shocked. “I’m not cheating sweetie. Please. You have to trust me”.

 “Ooooh, that’s a nice one. You want me to trust you but you lie to me. HOW can I trust you Nick. I don’t like people who lie to me”.

“I’m sorry, I can explain everything…”

“Well, explain then”.

“You….” He took a deep sigh “you must wait until after the tour”.

“Why? I want you to tell me right now what the f*ck is going on” she was so mad at this point she got tears in her eyes.

“Because, I… it was supposed to be a surprise. I have arranged something for you today and it’s gonna take place after the tour. It’s gonna be a wish coming true for you. So yes I lied to you. Yes I wasn’t honest. But I had to make up something to get away from the house.  If that’s a reason for you to leave me then fine. Leave me”.

It took a couple of seconds before Kirsten realized what Nick had said. “You were really planning a surprise for me?”she calmed down a bit.

“Yes. I was. Everything is taken care of. Please trust me on this one okay. And for the record, I’d never ever in my whole damn life would ever cheat on you” tears appeared in his eyes. “I love you Kirsten. I never loved anyone like you before in my life” the tears sounded trough his voice “you have to believe me”.

She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. She pressed her lips on his. “I love you too”.

 Update 11-1-2013

The next day was a busy one. Nick brought luggage in the car. The last things where checked and the dogs where picked up by Aaron. He promised he’d take care of them during the tour.

 Within an hour they were at the airport getting their security checks. Another hour later they boarded the plane that would bring them to Seattle. Where the kick off for the tour took place. AJ and Rochelle boarded on the same flight as Nick and Kirsten did.

“Hi guys” Rochelle’s voice sounded behind them.

“Oh no, not you” Nick looked behind him and stared into AJ’s face and grinned.

“Oh yes baby, it’s me”  AJ blew an air kiss to Nick and smiled.

“Hey bro, how are you?”.

“Oh I’m fine. I didn’t sleep to well last night. You know, exciting to be on tour again”.

“Same here. But this time, I have my honey with me” Nick smiled and looked at Kirsten, who was in a conversation with Rochelle herself.

Nick tapped Kirsten on the shoulder “Sweetie, do you mind swapping places with AJ? It’s better for your neck and mines”.

“Oh sure” she smiled. Nick melted by the sight of her beautiful smile. He gave her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose.  She unbuckled her belt and sat down next to Rochelle as AJ took her place next to Nick.   

After a couple of hours they landed at Seattle. From there on they drove to their hotel.

After Nick and Kirsten finally had the keycards for their hotel room they took some time to relax a little at their room. Kirsten played with her phone and Nick was busy playing World of Warcraft.

“Do you have to work this afternoon?” Kirsten asked him with her eyes still focused on her phone.

“Yep” Nick frowned “At 4. We’re starting with the soundcheck and right after that I have to do the VIP tour. It’s my turn today”.

“Okay. And what am I supposed to do during that VIP tour? I never have been on tour before so…” She blushed.

Nick smiled “Gosh you’re so cute when you blush like that”. He got off from the couch and walked over to Kirsten to kiss her. “Maybe you can hang out with Rochelle or the other girls. I know it’s probably very boring for you to have to wait for tonight but it’s all part of the show. The fans pay a lot of money to come see us and the fan club members pay even more to have a ‘special personal’ moment with us”.

Kirsten smiled “Sweetie, I know. You seem to forget that I was a hardcore fan in my teenage years! I have been a fan club member back when I used to live in the Netherlands. And yes I did VIP before so I know how it works. But I only wanted to know what I was supposed to do during the moments you are at work. Are there things I can help with. Like getting your clothes ready for the show or maybe help with selling merchandise or something else?”

“Ehm, wow. That’s a good one. I don’t know really. We have our own staff who takes care of these things while we are on tour. You really don’t have to help”.

“But I want to. Not that I’m not thankful for being here but I just don’t want to sit around here doing absolutely nothing, all day” she got up from the bed to place herself on top of Nick, who lied down earlier. She bend over to kiss him and before she knew it they switched places.  She gave a little scream being surprised with Nick’s sudden move. He gently placed his legs between hers and gave her small teasing kisses. “I know a perfect job for you” he spoke with his low sensual voice.

Kirsten melted by the sexual sound of his voice. His eyes shined with lust and his lips, soft as satin, touched hers. Her tongue found her way inside his mouth. Nick smiled and stopped the kissing for a second “You like that hey” he whispered softly in her ear.

“Yes” she whispered back. As a reply on her whispering she felt him growing big between her thighs. He then aggressively continued their kiss. His hands found their way down to the end of her shirt and as their making out continued they got rid of her shirt. His sweater and shirt followed and her hands where all over his naked skin. A soft groan escaped from her mouth when his hands reached the back of her bra to release it from her skin. His hands went back from her back to the front, to massage her breasts. He stopped the kiss. She looked at him, eager for more, and showing her a naughty grin he stopped.

“I have to go to work sweetie” he smiled and got up from bed.

“No, you’re kidding right” Kirsten looked at him with shock in her eyes. “No seriously. You get me all fired up and then you leave me. It’s not fair!” she sounded a bit angry.

Nick laughed “No, I don’t. I was kidding haha”.

“I hate you” Kirsten gave him an angry glare and slapped him on his arm.

“And I love it when you’re angry” he got back on top of her and his mouth placed kisses all over her neck down to her breasts.

While continuing their lovemaking there was suddenly a loud banging on the door. “Yo bro, open up. I’ve have food with me. It’s still warm” Brian’s voice sounded on the other side of the door. Nick stopped and sighed load. “Leave us alone” he groaned so only Kirsten could hear it. He got up again, from the bed and tidied himself up a bit “Just a sec.” he shouted. Kirsten followed his example and fled to the bathroom to fix herself a little.

Nick opened the door. “Hey bro” he hugged Brian, like men do. “What kind of food did you bring?”

Brian opened the brown paper bag. “I brought you and Kirsten some chicken wings with hot sauce and French fries. We have to start off the tour with our tradition remember. It’s bad luck if we don’t do that” he smiled.

Kirsten walked back in from the bathroom. “Hi Brian” she smiled.

Brian gave her a hug “Hi sweetheart. Are you hungry?”

“Always” she smiled and blinked at him.

“That’s my girl haha” he laughed. “Will you attend at the sound check?”

Kirsten looked at Nick who smiled at her. “Ehm, yeah sure. If you guys don’t mind?”

“Of course we don’t mind” Nick smiled “I’d love it when you’re there”.

At 3:00 in the afternoon they drove to the venue. Nick showed Kirsten the dressing rooms and gave her a quick tour backstage. Around 4 o’clock Nick and the other guys went inside the venue to do the sound check and to answer some questions that the fans had for them.  Kirsten enjoyed every second of it. It had been a while since she did her last VIP. While the music of “Bigger” began to play and Brian sang his part Nick looked at her from the stage and gave her a secret blink. Kirsten quietly  sang along the familiar words of the album she loved so much. At that point she felt so much love for Nick. He was the love of her life. No doubt about it. And she knew that whatever might happen there was absolutely nothing that could take her away from him. As the song ended and the guys finished the last line, they started All Of Your Life (You Need Love).

Nick took the mike to announce the next song “This song is one of my personal favorites. It has a special meaning to me. This is All Of Your Life (You Need Love). Now show us some love sweeties!”.

The crowd, most of them ladies in their late twenties and early thirties, cheered and sang along every word of the song. Kirsten couldn’t help but smile from cheek to cheek. She enjoyed every second of it. After they finished that song AJ announced that the next song was PDA. Nick got up from his seat and danced on a goofy way over the stage.

“You’re the fingers to my instrument” Nick play backed AJ’s lines and did his version of a belly dance. The crowd went nuts. Brian acted all goofy and AJ shook his ass on the rhythm of the music. Howie was more serious. Goofing around like that just wasn’t his style. Sure, he loved to joke around but not in the way the others did. He loved to hang out with fans and to show them love Sweet D style which he often showed during VIP’s and when fans waited for him outside the venues or the radio stations they were on.

“So who has questions for us?” Brian spoke to the audience. Immediately there where fourteen to fifteen hands that rose up. “You In the red Wylee shirt” Brian pointed at a girl who stood in the last line “Nice shirt” he complimented her. The girl turned red “Thank you” she smiled shy “Nick, I want to know is that your girlfriend?” she looked at Kirsten and then back at Nick. Kirsten’s cheeks immediately turned  into a deep shade of red. How on earth was it possible that they knew about her. They haven’t even been dating for that long. “Yes, yes that’s my girlfriend. That’s Kirsten. We have been dating for a little while and she, luckily for me, wanted to join me on tour” Nick smiled from ear to ear when he talked about her. Immediately every single face turned around to the tribunes to look at Kirsten. That was such an embarrassing moment. It was like she was a monkey in a cage in the zoo being looked at by a group of people.  Kirsten suddenly felt nervous. What if the fans didn’t like her.  

Girl number two asked AJ how life as a married man was for him. AJ answered that he never felt better and that Rochelle was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Girl number 3 asked Howie if there were any plans on a new solo album. Howie answered that there were no plans yet. He explained that the writing process for new songs was a continuous process and when there were enough good songs he could pick from a new album was possible.

Right after the questions there was a moment for the Bronze VIP to take pictures. This group had to leave after that so that the people who purchased the Silver and Gold VIP could do their thing. At last the guys took their picture moment for the fans who bought Platinum VIP.  The guys left and Nick stayed in the venue. Kirsten decided to join the other BSB wives for dinner. Right before she left there was a girl (a good looking girl in Kirsten’s opinion) who asked Nick if she could get a hug and a kiss. Nick obeyed that request. Of course Kirsten knew that was all part of the package but actually seeing Nick kissing another girl, even though he didn’t  intent to hurt Kirsten feelings, did hurt her. She felt a sting of jealousy in her heart and decided to discuss this as soon as they were back in the hotel. Kirsten got up from her seat and walked to the exit of the venue. She turned around to have one last sad look at Nick and right at that point Nick looked back at her. Nick answered  her look by giving her a worried look. Kirsten nodded that there was nothing wrong and gave him an air blown kiss.   

Seeing her walking away like that made him feel sick to his stomach. Nick wished he could run after her to kiss that sad look from her face and to make sure everything was okay. Unfortunately it was exactly today that he had to do the Backstage Tour. This was the other side of the medal. Being a Backstreetboy meant that he had responsibilities and obligations towards the guys but also towards the fans. And guiding a VIP tour meant that you had to do whatever it took to give the fans, who paid hundreds of dollars, a very nice experience. So no running off for him.

Update 13-1-2013

Nick showed the fans around the venue and the dressing rooms. During the backstage tour he spoke about random stuff and explained how things where when the guys where on tour. He answered some questions and took pictures with them. Around six he finished the tour and after the final hugs and waves he walked back to the main area to have dinner. He was eager to get there  as soon as possible. He wasn’t that hungry but he wanted to know what Kirsten’s sad look was all about. Unaware of it he fastened his walk. After a couple of minutes he reached the main area and directly walked over to the table where Kirsten ate dinner with the others.

Kirsten looked up and as soon as his eyes caught hers she gave him a dazzling smile. She made room for him to sit next to her and he stepped in between her and Rochelle. “Hi gorgeous” and kissed her.

Kirsten’s heart lit up and smiled “Hi honey”.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes! You?”

“I’m fine. I thought something was wrong because of the sad look you had just before you left the venue” he whispered in her ear.

“Whispering secretly while being in the companionship with others is not polite mister Carter” Leighanne joked.

Nick looked at her and squeezed his eyes together to gave her a semi angry look “I’m well aware of the presence of other people at this moment miss Littrell. But I had to say something to my baby that nobody else needs to know”.

Leighanne laughed “I’m just joking Nick”. She continued her dinner and her conversation with Rochelle.

“There wasn’t anything wrong. It’s just…” she paused for a second and took a deep breath before she continued “…I saw you kissing and hugging a couple of fans. And they were not ugly at all in my opinion. And honestly that made me jealous” Kirsten turned red and spoke softly so nobody could hear them.     

Nick smiled from ear to ear “You really where jealous?”

Kirsten frowned “Yes, why are you smiling? You think it’s funny?” She got mad. What the hell was this. She’s told him how she felt about what happened and all he could do was laugh? Sometimes she didn’t get him.

“No I don’t think it’s funny” Nick quickly responded. “It’s just that… it flatters me to know that you’re jealous sometimes. Because to me it means that you really care about me” he whispered.

“Of course I care. I love you” she gave him a kiss.

“Earth to the two lovebirds” Howie intervened with his version of a Star Wars voice. Nick and Kirsten looked at him. “ I don’t want to interfere Nick, but you really should get some dinner now”.

Nick smiled “You’re right. What time is it?”

“Almost time to get ready. You have ten minutes left” Howie replied.

Nick got up and got his food. He quickly ate it he and when he was finished he and the guys left to get themselves ready for the show.  

Kirsten and the other girls stayed behind to have a cup of coffee. After an hour or so they followed the boys backstage. There was a special area were friends and family could sit and enjoy the show without being visible or exposed to all the fans. Not that most of them weren’t nice and friendly to them but the Backstreet wives and girlfriends where almost as famous as the guys where. And even though the girls didn’t need bodyguard guidance every time they went outside and most of the fans treated them with love and respect, it sure was a pleasant thought that they were protected from the big crowd in the venue.   

Kirsten enjoyed the show and hanging out with the girls. They were dancing and singing during the show and watched the excellent performance of their lovers. Most of the songs played where from their latest album but of course there had to be some “oldies but goodies” in the line - up.

The guys where now picking girls to be serenaded on the stage with them. But Nick rushed back backstage to Kirsten.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be on stage?” Kirsten asked surprised.

Nick grabbed her hand and pulled her up “Follow me” he smiled.

“What? Why?” she stuttered.

“Come on. I have a surprise for you”.

“Woooohooot! You go girl” Leighane, Rochelle and Leigh cheered.

With nerves exploding through her entire body she followed Nick on stage to the four seats that stood there. She had a sudden attack of stage fright. The crowd went completely nuts. Brian, Howie and AJ had picked out some lucky fans to serenade. When Nick and Kirsten came on stage the guys gave her a blink and smile and continued the show. Nick motioned Kirsten to sit down with the three fans.

“So Howie” Brian spoke through his mike “how can we possibly make this a night to remember for these beautiful ladies sitting here?”.

Howie glared at the four girls on stage “Well, mister Littrell, how about we give them a lap dance” he turned around and pushed his butt behind and started dancing. AJ pushed him “Bad idea.We’re not the Chippendales bro”. The crowd went nuts. “Wait… I know.. I know. We are going to show them love by doing what we do best. Let’s give them a night to remember” Nick spoke with a low voice and smiled. He went on his knees in front of Kirsten and the other boys followed his example. The cheering inside the venue grew even louder.

The music of “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” began to play. The guys gave away a great performance and Nick gave Kirsten the night of her life. In that performance he showed her how much he loved her. It was also a gesture from him to her that as far as he was concerned their love could go public. There was no need to keep it a secret that he loved her. When the song ended Nick took a moment to speak to the crowd “Girls, I have an announcement to make.” Cheering rose up from the venue “No I’m not getting married yet but I do have something else that I want to share with you”.  “Nick I love you” a fan screamed during the silence. Nick smiled and put his arm around Kirsten. “You girls know that last year hasn’t been easy for me” he started “but since a while there has been a special someone in my life” he smiled and looked at Kirsten and paused for a moment “and that special someone is Kirsten”. Kirsten got as red a tomato. He looked back into the audience and raised his voice “I want you all to meet the love of my life and the person who really makes me happy. This is Kirsten”. The crowd went nuts again. 

Kirsten didn’t expect this at all. She thought that they would make their relationship public after the tour by approaching some magazines to tell their story but not this. She knew that by this time tomorrow their relationship would be world news.  Was she ready for this? The thought of their relationship being public and the possibility of being recognized by fans when she got out for a walk or when she wanted to go shopping or whatever overwhelmed her a bit. She wished Nick would’ve discussed this with her instead of overwhelming her like that. She made a mental note that she’s going to talk to Nick about this as soon as they had some private time at the hotel.

Nick escorted her back to her spot backstage and kissed her passionately “I love you” and rushed back on stage to do the next song. Kirsten got her breath back and was happy to be backstage again. The other girls were thrilled about Nick’s action. Kirsten decided to play along with them and not to tell anybody, except Nick later, that she wasn’t too happy about going public that way.

The rest of the concert was amazing and without any new surprises. After the show it took for more than an hour until they could leave the venue. The guys had to shower first, eat something, they helped to carry stuff inside the trucks and finally they were ready to leave. Kirsten felt exhausted around midnight when they stepped into the grey minivan. Nick sat next to her and she didn’t even noticed that she fell asleep against his shoulder within five minutes. Nick looked at her while she slept. He wondered if she liked what he did tonight. 

When they arrived at the hotel Nick woke Kirsten up “Sleepyhead wake up” he gave her soft kisses and stroked her hair. Kirsten slowly woke up. “We’re at the hotel baby” he said with a soft voice. Nick opened the door of the minivan and he felt the cold air of the night on his skin. He walked to the other side of the van to help Kirsten get out.

Kirsten was too tired to talk. Once they got in their hotel room they brushed their teeth and went to bed. She crawled against Nick and together they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Kirsten woke up in tears in the middle of the night. She had a vivid dream about her dad passing away. She had dreamt that her mom called her to tell her that her father had died by a heart attack. Kirsten had a really good relationship with her dad and the thought that her father had died, even though it was just a dream, filled her heart with pain.

Nick also woke up “Hey baby, are you okay?” he asked with his low sleepy voice.

“Yes, I’m fine. It was just a nightmare” Kirsten brushed the tears away with her hands.

“What did you dream about?” he cupped his arm around her.

“I dreamt that my mother called to tell me that dad died on a heart attack” she whispered.

“That sucks sweetie. But it’s just a dream. It’s not real, it’s okay” he crawled against her and took her in his arms and together they fell asleep again.  

The next day was a busy one. They got up early to ate breakfast and packed their stuff. After they all checked out they gathered in the lobby and traveled to Portland, Ohio. Both Kirsten and Nick enjoyed the trip.

This hotel was also an amazing one. Their rooms were even bigger than in the first hotel. It had light carpet and beautiful furniture. The bed was huge with beautiful soft pillows and the bathroom was luxurious with a Jacuzzi and a flat screen TV in it. Nick and Kirsten were extra lucky. Their room had a panoramic view on the small lake that was situated behind the hotel.

Nick brought their luggage into the room and quickly changed his outfit.

“Sweetie, have you seen my toiletry bag?” he asked while he bended over his open suitcase.

Kirsten looked up from her phone “Ehm, isn’t it in your travelers bag?”

“No” he groaned annoyed “I hate it when I’m in a hurry and I can’t find stuff I know I’ve seen it this morning” he mumbled between his teeth. He threw some of the clothes next to his suitcase on the floor. “F*ck, I have to hurry. We have to leave within fifteen minutes” Nick got pretty annoyed  “Kirsten, please check if the bag isn’t in your suitcase. Perhaps you put it there and forgot about it”.

“No” Kirsten replied calm.

“What do you mean No? Nick looked at her surprised.

“I know I didn’t put your bag inside my suitcase so therefore I’m not gonna look” she answered calm. She got up from the bed and walked to Nicks other suitcase. She opened it and reached under a pile of jeans and found what he was looking for. 

She threw the bag in front of his feet “Here you go mister ‘Kirsten please look in your suitcase’. Next time you blame me for something you want to make sure it is actually my fault”.

“Hey you found it” Nick smiled “I love you sweetie”.

“I think you should say something to me”.

“I’m sorry babe. You don’t deserve that” Nick prowled.

“Next time, don’t be so annoyed ok” she asked with a soft voice “It doesn’t make you find it faster when you get angry”.

Nick walked up to her and kissed her “ You’re right. I’m sorry baby. What would I do without you?” he smiled.

“I don’t know” she laughed “I think that if your head wasn’t on your body you are able to lose that too”.

Nick frowned “Tonight, when I get back, I’m gonna show you what I can do with that head of mine” he smiled and gave her a soft slap on her butt.

“Oooh kinky, I love it when my favorite Backstreetboy talks like that” Kirsten sensually smiled. She pressed her body against his and kissed him back. Nick wrapped his arms around her and pushed her closer to him. He looked her deep in her eyes “Tonight, I’m gonna show you my kinky ideas babe” he promised with a sensual low tone of voice.

There was a soft knock on the door and Howie’s voice from the hallway that they had to leave within ten minutes.  Nick got his bag and went inside the bathroom. Kirsten followed him and talked to him about last night. Nick took off his glasses and got his small box with contact lenses and placed them in. He kissed 

Kirsten on her mouth grabbed his wallet and phone and after a “see you tonight princess. I  love you” he left.

The guys didn’t had the day off. As usual, at the beginning of every tour, they were busy with promotional activities. Today they went to a couple of radio stations for interviews. Kirsten and Leighanne stayed behind in the hotel. Rochelle and Leigh went out shopping. Nick had asked Leighanne if Kirsten could help her with the upcoming Wylee party. Kirsten was happy that she could make herself useful during the moments that Nick was at work.

She grabbed her phone from the table and texted her mom to let her know that everything was ok and that she was going to call her tonight. She walked out of the room and went to Brian and Leighanne’s room at the end of the hallway. She knocked on the door and Leighanne opened it.

“Hey girl, thanks for helping me” Leighanne smiled and hugged her.

“It’s nothing, thank you for giving me the opportunity to make myself useful” Kirsten smiled.

“First we’re going to drink some coffee downstairs” Leighanne took her purse from the table and locked the room and they took off to the hotel bar.

Enjoying their cup of coffee they chatted about Brian and Nick, Baylee, and everything that Kirsten could be expecting to happen while being on tour.

After an hour or so they went to the venue where the guys would perform the next day, they had to determine we’re the Wylee stand would be. It had to be practical and safe. Leighanne decided that next to the entrance would be perfect. That way there was plenty of room for them, Brian and Baylee to hand out the orders and for security to have a watchful eye over the crowd.

After having determined  the right spot they went back to the hotel. In the garage of the hotel there was the Silver Wylee caravan that was full with brown cardboard boxes.  Inside there was only  little room to stand. They both went in. Leighanne had a list with the orders that had been pre-ordered.

“Well, let’s sort this out” Leighanne sighed. She looked on her list.

“Kirsten, can you hand me that box?” Leighanne pointed to a pile of boxes behind her.

“This one?” she replied.

“Yes, thanks honey” Leighanne smiled.

Kirsten lifted that box from the pile and gave it to her. They were preparing for the upcoming Wylee event for the next day. Right after the Soundcheck and the VIP Platinum  backstage tour the first Wylee party of this tour was going to start. Fans had been able to place their orders earlier via the website and could pick them up at the Backstreetboys concert they went to. Of course Brian and Leighanne brought extra stock with them in case people wanted to buy something without pre – ordering.

“I love your designs” Kirsten sighed.

“Thank you sweetie, pick whatever you like. It’s yours”.

“Oh no, that’s too much. I can’t..” Kirsten tried to protest.

“Sweetie, really pick anything you want. If you don’t than I’ll take it as an insult” Leighanne reacted as if she was angry.

Kirsten and Leighanne went through all the bags, scarves and all the other merchandise and made the orders ready to go. Kirsten chose 3 beautiful totes, a computer bag, some scarves, two bracelets and two t-shirts. Leighanne had to reassure her a couple of times that is was definitely ok to take whatever she wanted for Kirsten felt a little awkward, but hey if someone insisted  that you shouldn’t argue right.

After a couple of hours, it was already late in the afternoon, Kirsten checked her phone and noticed a text message from Nick and some e-mails from her friends but nothing from her mom. It made her worry a little if everything was ok at home, back in The Netherlands. She quickly typed another text message and send it to both her mother as her father. It was daytime in The Netherlands so she expected a reply back any moment.

There wasn’t much time to really worry about it. The guys arrived back at the hotel and they all enjoyed dinner together. The guys were excited about their day and the rest of the night was full with laughter and goofing around. At the end of the night a couple of them, Nick and Kirsten included, were drunk when they got back to the hotel rooms. They wavered inside and fell down on the bed.

Nick hovered on top of Kirsten “You are so sexy” she whispered and they kissed sensually. They almost ripped each other’s clothes of. “Oh I missed you so much today” Nick growled as he got rid of her bra. He kissed her neckline and massaged her breast with his warm hands. A shiver went down Kirsten’s spine while she stroked his strong masculine breast.  A soft moan escaped from his mouth when her hands went down to his waist. Nick pushed his tongue in her mouth and continued their kiss. They fell on the bed and made love. After a mind blowing orgasm they went to sleep lying in each other’s arms.

The next morning they woke up early. Kirsten got up from the bed and took her phone from the pocket of her jeans. Still no text from her mom or her dad. Now it was time to worry. 

“Is something wrong princess? you look worried.” Nick looked up from his pillow, having a bed head. 

Kirsten felt confused “I don’t know. I’ve been texting my parents since yesterday but they’re not replying at all”.

“Maybe the battery was dead”

“No, my parents are practically married to their cell’s”

“Maybe they forgot to text you back, they could be busy with other things”.

“Maybe” Kirsten didn’t sounded very convinced “I’ll send them another text” and she quickly typed another message.

Within a minute her phone rang. Kirsten picked up imediately. 

“Kirsten, it’s me, mom” her mother’s voice sound shivery on the other side of the phone.

“Hi mom, everything ok?” Kirsten felt relieved.

“Ehm, I don’t know how to tell this” tears sounded through her mother’s voice “your dad had an accident at work, yesterday”.  

Kirsten face went pale. Nick immediately felt the change of atmosphere in the room. “What?” He asked without making a sound. Kirsten nodded “no” to him.

“What happened mom? Is dad ok?” Nick noticed the panic in her voice. He got up from the bed, only wearing his boxers,  and walked to her. Kirsten got her mom on speaker.

“Your father was in an accident at work” Kirsten’s mom’s voice trembled “ he.. eh… went directly to the hospital and the doctors did everything they could” she cried these last three words. “I’m so sorry” she sobbed.

Kirsten was shocked. She was speechless. Nick took her close and held her tight.

“… the funeral is next week on Monday. I need your help baby. I can’t do it alone” her mom cried.

Kirsten didn’t say a word. She couldn’t find the power to speak. Nick took over the conversation.

“Hi miss Harkema, It’s me Nick”. He looked worried at Kirsten.

“Hi Nick” she answered trough her tears.

“I eh… I don’t know what to say really. I’m so terribly sorry about your loss. I’ll get Kirsten on the first possible flight to Amsterdam. She needs to be with you and the rest of the family”. Nick wrapped  both arms around Kirsten and held her even tighter.

“Thank you Nick. You’re an angel” her mom sobbed.

“Kirsten, or I, will call you as soon as the ticket is booked, is that okay?”

“Sure, I have to make some phone calls anyway. I’ll hear from you. Bye Nick, and thank you” and she hung up.

Nick tightened his grip and held Kirsten close to his body while she broke down in tears.

“No….. no…. This is a joke right? Tell me this is a joke!” she cried out loud with tears flooding over her cheeks. Her knees couldn’t hold her weight anymore. 

Nick made sure she didn’t fell. He kissed her face and stroked her hair with his free hand in a desperate attempt to comfort her.  “Shhhhh, shhhhh, it’s okay baby. It’s okay” he whispered with his cheek against hers.

A knock on the door forced Nick let go of Kirsten for a moment. He quickly got into his bathrobe and answered the door. “Good morning” AJ cheered happy “Ready for this beautiful day?” he walked in and looked at Kirsten. “Hey, what happened?” one look at Kirsten made him turn around worried towards Nick.

“Kirsten just got a call from her mom that her father died” Nick said devastated. AJ was visibly shocked.

“F*ck” he mumbled. He took a deep breath “I’m so sorry Kirsten. I don’t know what to say” he walked up to her and gave her a big hug.

“It’s so unreal” she mumbled brushing her tears away with her thumbs . She suddenly felt nauseous. “I’m sorry” she pressed her hand to her mouth and ran to the bedroom leaving AJ and Nick staring at her. She kneeled over the toilet and vomited.  

“Baby are you okay? Do you need a doctor?” Nick stood behind her feeling even more worried.

Kirsten shook her head “No, I’m okay” she shivered. She got up from her knees and turned to the mirror to rinse her mouth.

“Nick, is there anything I can do to help?” AJ appeared in the doorway of the bathroom.

Nick turned around and faced AJ “ Actually, there is something you can do. We need to get Kirsten on the first plane to Amsterdam. Can you book her a ticket? You can use my laptop.”

“Sure, no problem” AJ went back into the room.

Nick looked around the corner of the bathroom “AJ, for her flight back to the States I want you to book an open ticket”. AJ nodded. “Oh, and one last thing, can you arrange for a rental car in the Netherlands?”.

“Sure, for how long? I guess a small vehicle will do right?” AJ was already looking on the internet.

“Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know how long she’ll be there. It’s probably too long but I want her to have access to a car. I thing a month will do” Nick tossed his credit card to him.

“Okay ” AJ caught the card and went on typing.

Kirsten came back into the room looking defeated. “I guess I need to pack my stuff” she sighed and the tears rolled over her cheeks again. Nick wanted to comfort her but she nodded “thanks baby, but I really have to pack” she whispered.

“I booked your ticket to Amsterdam, beautiful. You can pick up the rental car at the airport” AJ said from behind the laptop.

“Thank you. What time will it leave?”  her voice trembled.

“This afternoon at 3:45” AJ replied “Nick, I’m going to have breakfast if you don’t mind. I really need to eat 

something” AJ stood up, looked at Nick and stretched out.

“You’re right, we should eat something too Kirsten” Nick got his clothes on in the meanwhile.

“You go, I’m not hungry” Kirsten went on with packing her luggage. She took a big breath and collected the charger of her phone, her Ipod, toiletry bag, make up.

“Alex, you go ahead. I’ll join you in a couple of minutes” Nick said to AJ.

AJ went downstairs to the hotel’s restaurant. Nick closed the door behind him and turned to Kirsten.

“Sweetie” he took her hands and guided her to the bed “come sit down”.

They both sat down on the bed “I’m so gonna miss you. It hurts me to see you in such pain baby” he spoke softly.

Tears came up in her eyes “I wish you could come with me” she sobbed.

“I know baby, I wish I could” he whispered. Nick’s eyes got wet too. Kirsten broke down in tears and Nick also couldn’t hold it back any longer. They hugged each other really tight and stayed that way for a while. 

Kirsten was the first to try to get out of the hug “honey, you have to go downstairs to eat” she whispered.

“You too baby. You really should eat something” Nick cupped her face and looked in her eyes.

“I can’t” Kirsten spoke softly “I’m not hungry”.

“Fine, but at least have a coffee okay. You must have something in your stomach before going on that plane” Nick was worried.

“Okay” she sighed “I think I can do that. Just let me take a look in the mirror before we go ok” she walked into bathroom and was shocked when she looked at herself “oh my god” she mumbled. Her eyes were red and puffy and her skin was pale. She washed her face with water and brushed her teeth. She combed her hair so and put on a little make – up. She pushed out the thoughts of her father. Not now. Again, she took a deep breath. Inspected herself one last time in the mirror and went back to Nick. He took her hand and they went downstairs.

The others were all having breakfast in the restaurant. Once they saw Nick and Kirsten enter the group went silent. Everybody at the table looked at her with empathy.

“Y’all can continue your conversations” Kirsten mumbled embarrassed. It was hard enough to go trough this ordeal without having all the attention pointing out at her.  

“We will but we wanted to let you know how sorry we are” Brian got up and hugged her “we are here when you need us ok”.

“Thank you” she choked. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She tried to bite the tears away but a couple of them managed to escape and rolled down her face.

They sat down and Nick brought her coffee and a plain croissant and some fruit. He then walked back to the breakfast buffet to get his own breakfast. Even though he wasn’t hungry he decided to eat anyway.

“Do you know what happened?” Leighanne looked at Nick.

“All we know is that her dad was in an accident at work. We don’t  know any specific details” Nick answered.

“Wow, that must be so difficult for the family” Leighanne sighed “AJ told us that she’s going home this afternoon”.

“Yes. Her mom tried to stay strong on the phone but I could hear her misery in her voice. Gosh I wish I could stay with her” he sighed and looked at Kirsten who was stirring her coffee. She was far away with her thoughts.

“We have to go brother” AJ tapped him on the shoulder. Nick sighed. This was the moment he had been trying to avoid since the moment he woke up that morning. Kirsten looked at him with a very sad look in her eyes. He curled his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear.

Kirsten took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile “I guess so”. She stood up and with her the rest of the group. They wished her a safe trip home and hugged her wishing her strength.

“Thanks guys, we really have to leave now” Nick tried to speed things up a little.

Brian gave Kirsten a final hug “listen sweetie, if there’s anything I can do you let me know okay.”

Kirsten nodded and she felt tears welling up in her eyes again.

“If you want to talk, have a little fun or whatever you know where to find me” he hugged her tight and then let her go.

Nick took Kirsten’s suitcase and her hand and guided her to the mini - van.  They stepped into the vehicle and didn’t spoke a word on their way to the airport. Kirsten couldn’t speak anyway. The lump in her throat and the tears behind her eyes trying to come out prevented her to speak. She still couldn’t believe that her dad passed away. The thought about it was bizarre.  

Nick felt awkward. He wanted to comfort her but just didn’t know what to say. He hated seeing her in this pain. He also couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye to her in the next hour. He didn’t know when he was going to see her again. A lump appeared in his throat. And he felt the tears behind his eyes too. He swallowed to make the lump go away but without success. He played with the car radio while driving and skipped from one radio station to the other.  He then looked at Kirsten and saw her crying in silence.  He lay his hand on her leg “I’m so sorry baby” he choked and tears rolled over his cheeks. Kirsten weakly smiled back and tried to brush away the tears on his cheeks.  “Look at us, crying like children” she smiled while tears still ran over her cheeks. “Yes well, it’s not that strange given the circumstances” Nick dried his own tears with the back of his hand. He turned down to the right and drove up to the parking lot of the airport. He parked the car and stopped the engine. Kirsten played with her bracelet, extending her last moments with Nick. She sighed “Well I guess this is it then”.

Nick buckled off his safety belt and turned to her “I’m so gonna miss you” the tears rolled over his cheeks. “Me too” Kirsten choked and broke down in tears too. They hugged each other and his lips found hers.  Their kiss lasted for 5 minutes. They really didn’t wanted to let go of each other but they had to if Kirsten didn’t want to miss her plane.  Nick stopped the kiss “Come sweetie, I don’t want to but we have to” he sighed. Kirsten nodded “Yes I know”.

They got out of the vehicle and Nick took her suitcase from the car. Sadness came over his heart. She took his hand and they walked inside the airport. Inside they quickly found the register to check in and after the luggage drop off he walked her to the “Customs”.  Now they really had to say goodbye. Nick wrapped his arms around her and began to cry. Kirsten held him tight to her and also cried. “I’m so gonna miss you” she whispered trough her tears. He didn’t want to let go but the customs officer made clear the gate was almost closing. He kissed Kirsten one last long time and then she turned to the officer. Her plane ticket and passport got accepted and she walked in the direction of the gate to go to her plane. She looked over her shoulder to Nick and wished she didn’t have to leave without him. She saw his face and knew he was dying in a little on the inside. She waved at him and he waved back and then she was through the gate.  She couldn’t see Nick anymore. This was so hard. She walked to the seats to wait for the plane to leave. She felt her phone buzzing in her pocket.

I miss you already. It sucks leaving you here and knowing you’re going to a really hard time and I can’t go with you to support you. I love you so much. I can’t describe it. I’m climbing the walls ‘cause I miss you babe. 

Xxxxxxxxxx Nick

She quickly texted him back.

I miss you too baby. I can’t believe all this happening to me right now. If only you could be with me. I love you Nick. I’ll call as soon as I arrive on Schiphol airport. I have to go now, the plain leaves within a couple of minutes. Love you baby xxxxxx Kirsten.

She sends the message and joined the others in line to the final ticket / passport check to get into the plane.

Meanwhile, Nick went back through the airport to go to the van. A couple of fans recognized him on his way back to the parking lot. With all this happening he totally forgot to put on sunglasses and a baseball cap which usually worked if he wanted to be incognito. Even though he was sad he did took the time to take pictures and give autographs to them. That was part of the deal being a Backstreetboy. You had to make time for the fans in order to stay successful and loved by them. Normally it was never an issue. He loved the contact with his audience, but today was just not his day.   

After saying goodbye to the fans he finally reached the van and drove back to the hotel.  He felt miserable. He walked into the hotel and reached his room. He had to perform tonight and had to hurry to reach the venue. He was going to be late for sound check but the guys would cover for him. He grabbed a backpack and got an extra set of clothes, his toiletry bag and his glasses. It was awfully quiet and empty in his room. A tear rolled over his cheek. He took a deep breath and walked back to the minivan to get to the venue.

After a little while he reached the venue and quickly went inside and rushed to stage where the others were busy with the sound check party. He got welcomed on stage by the fans with loud cheering and screams. He took the microphone and spoke “I’m sorry I’m late. I hope you don’t hold it against me. It was something personal I had to do. But I’m here and now we can continue this party!” he smiled. He had to play happy go lucky until the show was over. The others hadn’t told the fans what was going on and Nick was thankful for that.

The sound check went by and during diner Nick didn’t really spoke to any of the guys. He felt love sick. He had looked on his phone almost a thousand times to see if there were any messages from Kirsten. It was foolish of course. He knew she had to fly for over 10 hours to get home in the Netherlands. So by the time she was able to text or call him it was early in the morning here and he was probably, hopefully, asleep.  He played a little with his food not feeling very hungry when Howie sat down next to him. “Are you okay?” Howie asked while taking a bite from his taco. “I don’t know, no not really. But I can’t do anything about hey” he took a sip from his beer. Howie frowned “are you drinking?” Nick’s frowned back “What are you saying? I can’t have a beer with my dinner? What is your problem?”.

“Relax man, all I wanted to say is that booze is not going to fix your problems” Howie explained.

“Well thanks but I don’t need your advice. And for your information, I was only having a beer because it tastes good with Chinese food” Nick bitched back.

“Listen, if you need some company come to my room after the show. We’ll watch a movie, play some cards. Kev is joining us too” Howie suggested.

“Maybe, I don’t know” Nick sighed while sipping on his drink.

Howie stood up “I’m going to hair and make – up, see you there ok?” and walked towards the hall near the dressing rooms.

The show went well that night. The crowd was as excited as ever and Nick managed to keep his thoughts to the show and gave everything in his performance. It helped him escape the hurt he felt.

After the show they went back to the hotel. “Are you coming with us?” Howie asked.

“No, I’m gonna try and sleep. It’s been a very intense day today”.