Summary: This poem is written in letter format. It goes into the mind of a young man with autism and the inner struggles he faced in as a teenager. This young man is my older brother, Landon.
Categories: Poetry/Songs Characters: None
Genres: Drama
Warnings: Domestic Violence
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 527 Read: 662
Published: 09/04/14 Updated: 09/04/14
Story Notes:
There are some grammar errors, but they are supposed to be there to express his thought process a little more.
1. Chapter 1 by RedMacSpaz
Dear Auty,
I’m trying. Her mouth won’t stop moving. I don’t like sitting here. I’m getting restless. I don’t wanna be here in this place no more. I stay calm anyway. Nothing is getting through. Shut up! I no like this. Frustrating. Pencil. Paper. Writing. Good. Left hand ready. Fun. Words look weird. I can’t write very good. Coloring. No. Boring. Fun. Mad. I don’t like this anymore. Nothing is coming in. Confusing to me. Sadness. Anger.
Her mouth is still moving. That voice is getting annoying. I want to watch TV. Be alone. In my own world. No, not alone. With Kendall. She is fun and makes me laugh. I like Scooby-Doo. But the glass on top is broke. The lazy bear wearing clothes that is sitting in a comfy chair is broke, too. I didn’t mean too. Teacher doesn’t care. I hate her but I can’t talk it out loud. I play scrabble to say what I need to say I can’t say out loud. I put the letters where I want them to go neat and in order. The words show up suddenly. I feel better. I don’t like out loud saying things I can’t say. I get frustrated. I don’t like being frustrated.
I talk out loud a lot, but with different things. My friends make me laugh. I like their mouths better than my teachers’. I don’t like crowds and people squishing me. I don’t how to breathe anymore. I stand on the side or in a corner by myself. I want to watch TV get a pop out of the cabinet. I drink a lot of pop. I hate water. People talk too much. I can’t see their eyes very long. My head is full of stuff I can’t get rid of. Here and here, it’s like it’s stuffed in the smallest box. It needs to go away and disappear. I don’t know what to do. I like to play basketball. I like to play it with my friends. Reading is very hard for me. I can never get the words write. My writing is hard to read but I don’t care. Sometimes I do.
I am smarter than most people think. Some think I’m stupid and won’t get any better. That’s what my teacher thought. Special Olympics was fun but I got tired of it. I like it more now. It’s fun to race people I don’t know. I like to play on computer. Go on Youtube and watch videos. I love Power Rangers and Mr. Rogers neighborhood. I miss Mr. Rogers.
Autism, you are my friend now. I like being smarter than most people think I am. I can’t talk very well but my friends and family understand me, most of the time. I get angry and sad and happy and excited just like everyone else, except excited and angry is hard to control sometimes. But I manage. I would say now, my life is great.
Sincerely Yours,
Landon B.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.