Chapter 1
“As long as there will be music we’ll be coming baa-,” And then it was black.

It was a normal concert, like any, we were in our hometown, Orlando and the fellas and I were more than excited to be performing. It’s always good to end the tour where you know there will be hundreds of fans and it feels like home. We were on our encore song, just one song left after we would sing “Everybody,” and then we had a few months off before traveling for our European leg of the tour.

So, back to the “and then it was black park.” I was minding my business, singing my verse in the song and like I said, it just went black. It wouldn’t be for a couple days until I found out why exactly everything went black.

“Okay Carter, I have been up for four days straight, my hair is unwashed, I’ve been in five airports and I’ve put nothing in my stomach except for Dunkin Donuts coffee. What the hell did you do to yourself this time?” This is the part where I get to introduce a long life best friend of mine, who is supposedly caring, thoughtful and compassionate; meet Allayna.

I felt her take my hand into hers a lot more gentle than the tone of voice she carried into the room. My eyes opened and there she was, standing over my bed. A mix of emotion was worn on her face; sadness, tiredness and pissed off-ness.

“Hi to you too,” I said with a side smirk. “When did you get in?”

“Landed in Orlando about an hour ago and came right in.”

“You didn’t have to come from your trip in Australia.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to, but when I kept getting updates on you, and hearing that you’re being nothing but stubborn and a pain in the ass, I had no choice. Nick, of course I had to come. You’re my guy.” She let out a sigh, looked me up and down and then around the room that was full of monitors, a few balloons and a TV.

“Where did Vanessa go?” I asked, referring to my girlfriend.

“Grabbing some food with Brian I think.” She pulled up a chair to my bed. “Have they figured out how the hell the lighting fell from the stage and onto you yet?”

“Right now it’s still a freak accident.”

“Accident? Seriously? Obviously it wasn’t put together correctly. Did you hire some new roadies or what?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t like talking about it, when talking about it, it made that much more real. There was silence for a couple minutes before she spoke again. Allayna was not one for silence.

“Why are you refusing to eat and start therapy?”

“Lan, I don’t need lectures.”

“Obviously you do Nick. I am so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this, but it’s only been a few days and you’re giving up.” I rolled my eyes, which she couldn’t see, since I was flat on my back, and all I could stare at was the ceiling. Which I may add needs a new paint job.

“You don’t understand.”

“Tell me.”

“You’re not the one who is paralyzed, will never walk or perform again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Doctors haven’t ruled anything out from the last I heard and since when are you a quitter? With everything you have gone through your life, you’re just going to give up without trying? You have a great support team and we’re going to get you’re the best therapy and Doctors that a Backstreet Boy’s income can get.” I know she was trying to make things a little lighter.

“Even if I can start moving my legs again, it will never be the same. I have two broken legs, a crushed pelvis, I had a kidney removed and-“

“And you’re alive.” Well, that shut me up. “You know what I am going to tell you.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Exactly. You were the one who will be able to handle this, so that’s why it happened to you.”

“But what if-“

“What if nothing. You have a lot of people that care, that love you and if you’re not going to start getting stronger for yourself; do it for us. You’re one of the least selfish people I know Nick. Don’t change that now.” I knew she was right and I knew why Brian stayed in contact and new why she was called first after the accident. She’s the only one I listen to and take everything she says to heart.

I bit my lower lip, and tried to take deep breaths, as I felt the back of my eyes start to burn and for the first time I wanted to cry. Allayna now stood up, carefully sat on the bed next to me and was brushing my long hair away from my forehead.

“You’re going to be okay Nick. I promise.” She kissed my forehead, cupped my face with her hands and had me look into her eyes. Something we did to each other when the other was taking a wrong turn somewhere.

“Ahem, sorry didn’t want to bother,” Vanessa’s voice broke our focus.

“You’re not.” Allayna said simply turning to face my girlfriend.

Yeah, I bet you’re wondering, best friend whom is a girl and girlfriend who is well, obviously a girl; how the hell does that work. Very carefully. Allayna was there before the fame, before the drama, and before any girlfriend. She will be there during and after. Vanessa, like other girlfriends, has a hard time understanding our closeness without the sexual tension and how it all works.

“I brought you some lunch Nick. Brian got you a sandwich out there for you Allayna.” Her voice seemed pleasant, tired, and a little edgy.

“Thanks but I’m not-,” I started.

“He’s famished. Thanks Ness.” If I could move, I would’ve slapped Allanya on the back because she knows Vanessa hates that nickname. “Nick, eat or I will personally put it down your throat. I am going to go eat, check into a hotel and shower and then I’ll be back.”

“Allayna, thank you.”

“If it were me, you’d be here.”

“You know it. I just already feel-,” She squeezed my
hand before I finished.

“Exactly. Now eat. Love you.” She kissed my cheek and stood up. “Feel free to sling shot his food down his throat.” Allayna told Vanessa before leaving. I couldn’t help but smile.

Chapter 2
It’s amazing how real food will make you feel, especially after being threatened to have a tube put down your nose to eat. After eating the lunch Vanessa brought, I agreed to start some PT. Physical therapy if you’re not familiar. It wasn’t much, seeing as how my legs were in a cast and my pelvis was broken and I had a few surgeries. But I did manage to do some arm stuff and begin my way to sitting up.

I must say, I am grateful that it is just my lower body and my upper body for the most part is undammed.

It was around six when Allayna came back to the hospital. She had changed from a pair of yoga pants, a tank top and flip flops to a pair of cut off shorts, a black tank and her blonde hair was out of a ponytail freshly washed.

“Not fair, now you look better than me,” I told her as she approached the bed.

“Hate to break it to you, but I always look better,” she joked. “ However, I must say, you have some color in your cheeks now and look more alive. I heard you ate like a good boy. I brought you a chicken salad for dinner.” She held up a bag. “Brought you one also Vanessa.” She told my girlfriend who was reading another magazine in a chair.

“Thanks,” Vanessa said not taking her eyes off the page.

“Must have Channing in it,” I shook my head slowly. My body began to ache and tried to adjust myself a bit.

“You need something?” Allayna asked.

“I think I need to be flat again,” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and let out. Breathing seemed to help pain.

“Oh let me,” Vanessa stood up quickly from the chair and came over to where the remote to the bed was. “All the way down baby?”

“Please.” And she pressed the down button and I slowly lowered.

“Do you need more meds?” She asked handing me the morphine button.

“They’ll knock me out.”

“It’s okay Nick, don’t stay awake on my behalf. “ Allayna smiled. “I’ll catch up with Ness, it has been a few months.” At that moment, I took the morphine and pressed the red button. I did not want to be awake for that conversation. Moments later, I gave into the heavy drug and my eyes closed.

“It’s really great you were able to come, I know with work you’re traveling a lot.” Vanessa told Allayna. They had decided to go outside and walk around to the coffee shop.

“It’s great you haven’t left his side,” she told Vanessa sincerely.

“There have been times I’ve been ready to walk away; he’s not the easiest patient.”

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me.” Allayna waved her hand in the air.

“Of course not,” Vanessa remarked bitterly. “Sorry, I
just haven’t slept much and this whole thing is hard.”

“Were you there when it happened?”

“No, I decided to go to a different show that night in Orlando. In a way I am happy I wasn’t there. I don’t know if I could’ve handled seeing it all ya know?”
Allayna nodded her head and held open the door to the Café shop. “The important thing is that you’re with him now and I know Nick adores you.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure honestly.” The girls ordered their drinks and walked back outside.

“Do you know when they can transport him back home to LA?” Allayna asked Vanessa taking a long pull of her iced coffee.

“They’re hoping in a few weeks after the bones have started healing and his stitches are out. He’s going to have a long recovery ahead of him.” Vanessa then sat down on a bench that was outside of the hospital, put a hand over her face and started crying.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Nick can do this.” Allayna joined her and cautiously put a hand on Vanessa’s shoulder.

“He’s emotional and he’s going to need around the clock care and is going to need-,” Vanessa’s rambling was broken off.

“He’s going to need you. Love and support. You love him and he loves you and that will be enough.”

“Will it?”

“Yes,” Allayna tried to say more positive than what she was thinking.

“I can’t believe you’re still around,” I told Allayna as she pushed me around the hospital in my new wheel chair.

It had been three weeks since she came out to Orlando after the accident, and it was just the fifth day I was able to get out of bed.

“It’s that, or I’d be calling and texting you twenty-four-seven. I figured this would be more annoying.” She laughed.

“Good point. I am ready to go home though.”

“Soon Nick. As soon as you can get into and out of this chair by yourself you’ll be able to.”

“If it didn’t hurt so damn much I could do it now.” I threw my hands up. “I was closer today though.” I said as a matter of fact.

“You were.” Allayna pushed me outside to the corridor and it was refreshing to see the sun and sky. She sat down on a bench after putting the brakes on.

“What’s the look for,” I asked her as she bit her lower lip.

“Are you and Vanessa okay? She seems to not be here every time I’m around.”

“She’s here a lot, so I am sure it’s a break for her when you are here.”

“Nick.”

“I kinda snapped at her yesterday.”

“Kinda?”

“Okay I lost it. She’s smothering me. Fluffing my pillow, feeding me, giving sponge baths, making sure I get enough fluids.”

“She’s trying to help.”

“It was too much. I mean the guys just left so now she’s in over drive.”

“Nick this is all scary for her too.”

“I know but she makes me feel like this will be my life forever now.”

“It won’t be. You’ve made huge progress already.”

“You don’t allow me to feel incompetent. I feel stronger when you’re around me, sometimes I want to punch you but you see me as not broken.”

“You’re not broken. Far from. And the feeling is mutual. I want to punch you sometimes too.” She winked. “She’s being a girlfriend Carter, let her be a girlfriend.”

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, I don’t know if want to know.”

“Okay, too much sun for your brain. Let’s go.” She ruffled my hair and took the brakes off the chair. “We should probably get your legs elevated anyway.”

“So, you’re flying home tomorrow still?” My voice may have sounded a bit desperate.

“Yes. Just to check your house and mine. “

“You’ve had Caroline living at your house though. I am sure can go check on mine as well.”

“She can, but I have to take care of a few things,” her voice had a tone of ‘I’m up to something’ in it. “You’ll have Vanessa here, I am sure she will give you more breathing room after you bit her head off yesterday. You have the guys calling you every day, and I may give you a call here and there.” She got me to my room and I immediately started feeling depressed.

“Let’s see if there is a movie on we can watch until Vanessa gets back with your dinner later. We have a couple hours.” She smiled brightly and I knew she was trying to cheer me up. My chair was wheeled to my bed, which was now lowered to the same height. “You ready to give this another try, or want me to call for back up?”

“With your guns, I am sure we can do this together.” I told her, referring to her impressive muscles. No, she’s not a body builder, but is a personal trainer and was a sports competitor. She had just come from Australia for a conference she went to.

Allayna positioned me so I could push myself up onto the bed, and she kneeled behind me on the bed, with her arms looped underneath mine.

“On three, one-two-three,” and as I pushed she pulled up so I was sitting. My hips ached and if I could feel my legs I am sure they would be a bit sore also. But the feeling hasn’t come back yet. “Breathing?” She asked, knowing I sometimes held my breath in pain. I nodded my head and she came to my side.

Carefully she slid her arms under my casted legs and brought them up onto the bed. After adjusting my body, the pillows and bed I was finally situated. This was my life. For now.

“Okay let’s see what’s on.” She grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels. My breathing slowed down a bit and I felt more out of shape than ever, just from transferring from my new wheels to the bed.

The next morning, there was a knock on the door and Allayna walked in. “Good morning!” She said cheerfully carrying three coffees. Two mediums and an extra-large which I knew was for her. She was sort of an addict.
“Morning,” Vanessa said before I did and I gave a half grumble. “He over did it yesterday I think. His whole body hurts.” Vanessa sighed as she took the coffee from Allayna’s hand.

“Here is a coffee for you Mr. Grumpy pants,” she smiled and set it on the table.

“When does your plane leave?” Vanessa asked a bit eagerly taking a sip of her latte.

“I have to be there in an hour for security and all that. Leaves at noon. Just wanted to bring some warm goodness and say goodbye. So, you’re sore today huh?”

“Yeah, I am off the morphine and just on regular pain killers so they’re not as strong.”

“That’s a good thing you’re sore. You worked your body. That’s what is going to get your stronger Love.” She leaned against the window and opened the drapes.

“I’ll uh-leave you two for a bit to say good-bye. I’m going to go call my Mom.” Vanessa gave nick a quick peck on the lips, took her latte and walked out of the room.

“How is the breathing coming along?” Allayna asked, referring to me yelling at Vanessa the other day.

“Better, so far. She was worried how sore I was today. She said you shouldn’t have taken me out twice yesterday.” I shrugged and hit my button the bed to sit it up so I could drink the coffee.

“I see. Well, you’re doing really well and the Doctor yesterday was hopeful to have you back home soon. I think once you’re home, you’re going to do a complete one eighty and be back on your feet in no time.”

“I keep hoping. I hate being here. Going from the ICU to the normal wing to the PT wing isn’t much. A hospital is a hospital is a hospital.”

Allayna rose the cardboard cup up and took a sip. I couldn’t help feeling like a kid again in that moment.
It’s like when you’re sick and the only person who can make you feel better is your Mom with chicken noodle with stars and your favorite movie; and you can’t have any of it.

“I will be back in a couple weeks, if not sooner to help you get home Nick.” She moved closer to me, reading my thoughts and sat on the bed.

“I’m scared.” I admitted and put my coffee down.

“It’s okay to be. You’re human…I think.” She laughed and I rolled my eyes. A few minutes later, I felt my meds kicking in and my eyes felt heavy. “Alright love, I am going to head to the airport and let you rest.”

“Already?” I asked my eyes opening and closing.

“I will see you soon and I’ll call you as soon as I land.” She confirmed and kissed my forehead. “Don’t give Vanessa too hard of time now.” She smiled.

“Allayna,” I said sleepily as she stood up to head towards the door.

“Nick?”

“I love you.” My eyes closed.

“Love you too Carter.”

Another two weeks passed, slowly in Orlando. Vanessa was the great girlfriend she is, and stayed with me every day. Only leaving to sleep in the hotel, or to get food. She was there during my physical therapy sessions and when they cut the casts off my legs. Which you may not want to hear this, but I now have girly legs. Any muscle I had in them, well, it’s gone.

Allayna keeps reassuring me that she’s my best friend for a reason. To get my ass into shape, which she has done on many occasions. We have talked on the phone every night, which was usually late for me, but only nine pm her time.

Today however, I woke up excited and full of energy. Today I would be making the six hour plane trip home with Vanessa. I reassured to Allanya over and over that she didn’t need to fly out here to fly back. She would be picking us up at the airport and bringing us home.
Home.

A place where I was more than ready to get to, yet at the same time I was nervous. I wouldn’t have around the clock doctors, although I know I don’t really need them anymore. I already had PT sessions set up for the next two weeks at a great facility not too far away from my house.

“Okay babe, you ready?” Vanessa asked gathering the remainder of my things. I was already in my chair, freshly showered, in real jeans, shirt and shoes and was more than ready.

“Let’s roll…literally,” I said pointing to the door. She laughed a little but she seemed to take me and everything else extremely seriously these days.

“You have your prescriptions?” She asked for the third time that morning and I only nodded my head. “Okay, I guess we are ready. To the airport!” We did have extra security follow us and I had on a baseball cap to help hide my identity.

The last thing I needed right now are the paparazzi and fans all over us. A press conference is set up for two weeks from today with the guys.

I’ve gotten used to having to need help…a lot. Mostly
with transferring myself to and from cars or to a special wheel chair that fits into the airplane. Bonus. I got put on the plane first, along with a ninety year old man. I put my head phones on, took a couple muscle relaxers with water and planned to sleep until I was home in California.

Stiff, sore, tired and could you tell, grumpy from the long flight, I was finally being pushed out of the terminal and heading towards the bags. It was only about three pm in California and the airport was horribly crowded. We waited for our luggage; I had just one large bag as did Vanessa. We had our other things from tour shipped a while ago. Allayna said it all made its way home.

Standing at the baggage claim, speak of the devil, there she was. Wearing a pair of light jeans, a black button up, her hair straightened down and rocking a pair of heels; Allayna stood. A pair of sunglasses sat on the top of her head and when she saw us, she made her way over.

“Look at you,” she beamed, bent down and pulled me into a hug, the hug I had been longing for. Familiarity and comfort and home; that’s what Allanya reminded me of. She then stood up, hugged Vanessa and Clark my bodyguard who was escorting me.

“We just have two bags, a black and blue one.” I told her.

“At least you don’t have typical colors as does everyone else,” she said sarcastically and went to the belt that had started moving with bags on it. Vanessa pointed out hers which came up first and with ease, Allanya pulled it off. A few minutes later mine came around and she did the same. “Okay, let’s go home.” She smiled and we headed towards the doors.

“I’ll pull my car up. I figured it would be easier to get into than your truck.” She briskly walked off to the parking lot and it was then it hit me, I wouldn’t be able to drive again. Perhaps never.

“Hey you okay?” Vanessa asked as my head seemed to drop and I got quiet.

“Yeah, just tired.” I lied and waited for Allayna to pull up. She came up to the curb, popped the trunk, Clark and her put the bags into back seat, and I went up to the passenger seat.

“I’ve got him,” Vanessa slightly pushed Allanya to the
side as Allanya was about to help my legs get over. She looked at me and backed away. I hung onto the, what I call the “oh-shit” handle on the car, and pulled myself over. Vanessa helped with my legs and then folded up my chair.

“Moving well there Carter.” Allayna said taking the chair and putting it into the trunk. We said goodbye to Clark, Vanessa sat in the back with the bags.

“Next stop, home.” I said and we headed on our way.

The forty minute drive from the airport home was a lot longer than I remembered. Probably because my entire body felt like it had been stuffed in a suitcase for hours. I tried to talk to Allayna and find out what she had doing for the past two weeks, but just like her answers on the phone with me, it was just “stuff.”

So, to me, knowing my best friend, I was waiting for a giant surprise party pulling in. Little did I know, I was half right.

“There are quite a few cars parked around the house,” I said as Vanessa finished helping me into my chair.

“Yeah, I don’t know? Maybe your neighbors are having a party.” Allayna responded at ease pulling the two suitcases from the back and wheeling them to the front.

My house is rather large open ranch style beach house. The main floor, you walk right into and the basement which is full of music instruments and workout equipment; walks out to the beach. My dream home.

Allayna unlocked the front door and it wasn’t until I got inside, I realized the cement step up to the door frame was gone. It was flat from the walk way, through the door. As I was fully inside, yep you guessed it, the loud boom of “SURPRISE,” came from about a dozen people.

Thankfully, it was the guys, a couple siblings and close friends.

“You’re dead,” I smiled at Allayna and said through my teeth.

“You’re welcome,” she replied back put our luggage off to the side. “I have more surprises, after you say hello to your guests!” She laughed and I could only imagine and shake my head.

“You look great man,” Brian came over to me, hugging me, looked me over and hugged me again. I think I saw a tear in his eye. Aaron came over next. He definitely had tears in his eyes and his hug lasted a bit longer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come see you in the hospital. I should’ve, I just-,” Aaron started and I pulled him away.
“It’s cool. You’re here now.” I told him and then began to make my rounds to say hi to everyone.

“We have your favorite pizza on its way for delivery. Now let me show you the rest of your surprise.” Allayna pushed my chair through the living room and kitchen. “I came back early not to just check on the houses.” She said.

“Obviously. “ I retorted.

“I wanted to make sure you came home and felt comfortable in your home. I also want you to know that everything I did is to help you but not hinder your spirits of where you need to get to.”

“I’m sort of following,” I replied but honestly had no idea what she was talking about. She then went on showing me the shelves in the refrigerator were lower so I could reach things, and dishes were moved lower so I could get them. There was a small ramp to the sink so I could do dishes myself but it didn’t stop there.
She had updated my bedroom, so that the box spring was much lower and I could get in and out of bed easier.

There was another small ramp in the bathroom to the sink, and a shower chair if you would call it in my, ever so thankful, walk in shower.

“Please know that I did this out to help you but no way believe you’ll need to keep everything this way forever.” She now was facing me as I looked around.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” I told her and took her hands in mine. “Come here,” I pulled her down and hugged her.

“You’re not mad?”

“Never. Just one question.”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t happen to install an elevator to get to the basement did you, to play my music?”

“Well, nothing like that. But there is a real walk way, not just stone and sand from outside down to the sliding glass doors. You’ll be able to get there easy.”

“Seriously?”

“Told you. I’ve been busy with ‘stuff’ past two weeks.” She grinned and then pushed me back out to where everyone was on the patio.

Drinks were going around, the pizza arrived and for the most part things seemed normal. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that my body was really starting to feel the plane ride and excitement. My lower back and even legs started to feel like they were seizing up.

“This is really great what you did for Nick, he’s lucky to have you as a best friend,” Brian was telling Allayna.

“Well, he’s done more for me than I could ever repay, so this is nothing.” She had a half smile on, something she did when she was either nervous or not confident. I decided to go up to her.

“Hey,” I said. “This party is amazing but I’m starting to get stiff. Could you find Vanessa for me, so she could get a couple of my pills?”

“Of course. She was talking to A.J. last I saw her. Do you want to go sit on the couch?” She put her beer down and now had more of a worried look on her face.

“Not yet. Thanks.” She stayed a moment longer before saying ‘okay’, and then went off to look for Vanessa.

“So, how are things with you and Vanessa?” Brian asked taking a seat in a chair next to me. I was thankful for that because I was starting to get annoyed looking up to everyone I talked to. “Last you told me, she wasn’t letting you breathe too well?”

“It’s okay. Sometimes I feel like she’s a nurse too much still. She thought I should be living in a physical therapy recovery place. She didn’t understand that being home is what I need.”

“I can get that. She cares for you, ya know?”

“I know.”

“She’s in love.” I nodded my head. “Do you love her?”

“Love? Yeah, I love her.” I said, maybe too casually.

“In love?” Brian pressed.

“What are you getting at Rok?”

“You’re just a little blind right now Nicky, that’s all.” He smirked, took a sip from his water bottle and nudged his head up.

“I heard you needed some pain killers?” Vanessa gave me
two small white pills and bottled water. “No drinking with these.” She reminded me of what the bottle read. “You should probably wrap this up and get some rest. Don’t you think?” She asked me, and again I felt like she was my nurse or worse; Mother.

“I’m fine,” I told her.

“Actually it’s probably a good idea,” Brian put his two sense in. “It has been a long day for you, and you’re starting to not look great. I’ll get everyone on their way without making it a big deal.”

“Okay thanks,” I told Brian in defeat. Vanessa was then pushing me towards the crowd before I got to say anything else. Just like Brian said, no one made a big deal and began to say their good-byes and ‘ see ya later’s.’

“Well, I think I got most of the garbage out. Paper products. Can’t beat em’,” Allanya came up to me a little while later. “I am going to head home, and let you enjoy your fist night back,” She wiggled her eye brow at me.

“Please, way too tired. And I don’t even know if possible…”

“Doctor said as long as-,” Allayna started and I cut her off.

“And goodnight to you too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I started wheeling myself towards the front door.

“Welcome home Nick.” She hugged me and Vanessa goodbye before walking out the front door.

After everyone had left the house and it were just Vanessa and I, I felt my medicine kick in and my body seemed heavier than ever.

“Glad to be home?” Vanessa asked as she helped me change into my pajamas.

“You have no idea.” I closed my eyes and let out a breath as I pushed myself over to the bed. The plane ride, the party, brushing my teeth and changing took everything out of me. It was a lot different than being in the hospital where I had a lot of help. “Is it really only eight pm?” I asked as she covered me up.

“It is. But it’s been a long day. I’m going to just go wash up. I’ve been waiting to sleep with you for a very long time.” Vanessa smiled, pecked my lips and got up and headed to the bathroom.

Something felt off being home. Okay, everything was off and nothing felt right. My heart fluttered, my stomach sank and immediately I felt myself start sweating. The blankets felt extremely heavy, and I felt too weak to take them off.

“Vanessa.” I called out, trying to push the blankets off. I could hear the water running in the bathroom. The flutters now began to pound and the room started to spin. I needed to lay down. Wait, I am lying down?

“Vanessa!” My hands went into fists and I could hear my rapid breathing. “VANESSA!” I screamed and she came running in.

“What is it?” She looked me over with anxious eyes.

“I-I can’t breathe. Get the blankets OFF!” She looked perplexed but did as I asked, pulling them down to my feet. “Take my sweats off.” And she pulled off my gray Under Armor sweats, carefully over my leg braces I’d be wearing for some time; which were a bit lighter than the casts I had on in the hospital, leaving me in my boxers.

“Nick you’re sweating.” She brushed my hair back. Yeah, no kidding. I thought. “Let me get some water and a cold wash cloth.” She hurried out of the room, and I looked over to my nightstand. My phone was charged in and was too far for me to reach. Okay, all I had to do was turn to my side a bit and reach it, but I still couldn’t move. I wanted nothing more than to be able to call Allayna.

“Here we go,” Vanessa said cheerfully, draping a cold wash cloth over my forehead, and helped me sip some water. I actually was already feeling better. “Do you think it’s a reaction from your pills?” She asked sitting on the side of the bed.

“I don’t know.” I sighed and closed my eyes. My heart had returned to normal beating, the room stopped moving on me.

“Do you need anything else?” She took my hand in hers. I shook my head no. She got up, turned the lights off and hopped in bed. “Goodnight Nick.” She whispered and both feel into a much needed sleep.

When I woke up the next day, it took me a minute to realize I wasn’t in the hospital. I knew I’d have to use the bathroom soon and I’ve learned from being in the hospital; not to wait too long. Vanessa was asleep next to me still and I rolled off to my side, pushed myself up and ignored the stiffness and soreness.

My means of transportation was next to me and I slid myself off the bed, into my chair. I used my arms to pick up my legs to follow.

“Need any help?” Vanessa interrupted me as I adjusted myself. I looked over to her, her eyes full of sleep, hair a mess and it was at that moment I remembered how cute she was.

“Just using the bathroom. I’ll be back in a bit.” I took my cell phone with me and wheeled myself into the main bathroom. After taking care of business, I went out to the living room and texted Allayna.

It was only seven am, but knew she would be up; working out.

“Morning.” I wrote. A minute later my phone buzzed.

“Good morning. How was your first night home in your bed? As amazing as you thought?!”

“Eventually after the room stopped spinning.”

“?”

“Just before bed, I got really hot. My heart was out of control, the room was spinning and I couldn’t breathe.”

“Okay, more detail than I need to know about you and Vanessa.”

“I’m serious. We didn’t have sex. It just happened out of nowhere.” There was a couple minutes before she responded.

“You okay now?”

“Yeah. How’s your workout?”

“Good. Just finishing up. Want me to bring breakfast?”

“Bagels and coffee?”

“You got it. Be there in an hour? Need to shower.”


I went to the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle and then headed back into the bedroom where I could take my pain pills and see if Vanessa were awake. She liked to sleep in. Which I did too, however my body wouldn't allow that.

"Morning babe," she said as I wheeled into the room.

"Good morning." I went to my nightstand, opened the orange bottle and popped the top off. I tossed two pills into my mouth and chased them with water. "Allayna is going to bring breakfast over. Mind helping me in the shower?"

"Mmm, thought you'd never ask." She grinned and pushed herself up.

"Vanessa, I'm not sure I can...well ya know yet."

"Teasing Nick." She got out of bed. "What do you want to wear for the day? It's going to be warm."

"Probably just shorts a tee. Easier with the braces and all." She nodded and went to my dresser and pulled out clothe for me to wear. And then went to the closet wear the majority of her things were.

Between taking the leg braces off, getting into the shower on my special shower chair, showering, drying, dressing and putting my braces back on, it took me a good hour. I then shaved because I had more than just a scruff going on.

"Feel better?" Vanessa asked coming into the bathroom, wearing a pair of jean and a tank top. Her hair was still wet and fresh makeup was put on.

"Yes but also tired."

"Well, let's get you some breakfast. Allayna is out there." At Allayna's name, my head perked up. "Must be hungry. That's the first smile you've given all day."

I actually wasn't that hungry. The pain killers suppressed my appetite a bit. She pushed me out into the kitchen and I saw Allayna putting a spread out on the table.

"Good morning!" She smiled brightly and came over and gave me a hug. "You look much better today. Hope you're hungry. I have bagels, coffee, fruit and also made you a protein shake when I made mine this morning." My high top table had been replaced by a regular table which was a much better height for me to sit at. She pretty much thought of everything to help me feel more independent.

We sat down, or I just pushed myself to the table and we started eating. "When is your first day of PT?" Allayna asked pulling a sip from her extra-large coffee.

"Tomorrow at nine am. I should've made it later, I didn't realize how long it would take to shower."

"It will get easier baby, don't worry. Do you want cream cheese on your bagel?" Vanessa asked. I nodded and it was then I was feeling claustrophobic.

"What do you two have planned for today? It's gorgeous out!"

"No plans. What do you feel like Nick?" Vanessa handed me my bagel and I shrugged my shoulders. I felt Allayna's eyes on me, trying to read me like I knew she could.

"I think we should definitely be outside." Allayna took a big bite of her bagel, purposely getting cream cheese on her face and grinned. She knew I couldn't help but laugh. We played with some ideas of going to a park, the board walk, the outlet mall, staying here and using the pool which would be interesting. Finally after cleaning up, we decided to do the board walk, people watch and shop.


We loaded up in my car, since there wasn't any way I would get in Allayna's sports car and Vanessa had a huge SUV so getting in and out of that would be a bit much of work. Vanessa drove, Allayna sat in the back and I watched out of the passenger window. Allayna talked about the last time her and I had been here, and some crazy women found me. They were at least in their thirties but claiming their love for me.

Once we arrived, which was a short ten minute drive, Allayna pulled out my wheel chair, I tugged on my baseball cap over my sunglass eyes, and Vanessa opened my door.

"I got it," Vanessa's tone was a bit short as she took my chair from Allayna and went to my side. Allayna only smiled and I looked up at her and gave her a half smile.

We began walking along the board walk, enjoying the sun on our faces. It wasn't too busy yet, considering it was only quarter to eleven and on a Tuesday. Thursday through Sunday is usually packed.

"I forgot my sunglasses," Vanessa stated and headed over to the sunglass booth. You could always find sunglasses at any place here in California. She began to look through, trying on sunglasses, looking in the mirror. Allayna found some hats she was trying on and for some reason I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She then took off my baseball hat, and put on a huge cowboy hat on the top of my head.

"Hmm," she pressed her lips together. "Not bad Carter." She winked.

"Okay, what do you think of these?" Vanessa came over wearing a pair of sunglasses that looked just like any of the other ten pairs she owned.

"Nice." I said simply.

"I'm going to go pay for them,” she smiled and went to the cashier where there were two other people in line.

"What's up?" Allayna pushed my chair out of the hut and into the sun.

"Same as you." I shrugged.

"Nick."

"I need some you and me time." I said simply and she nodded her head. "Will you take me to PT tomorrow?"

"Of course. But is Vanessa going to be okay with that?"

"I don't care."

"Nick what's-"

"Alrighty! Let’s walk!" Vanessa came over, sporting her new glasses. As we walked, and I well, rolled, Vanessa talked about the weather and how beautiful the ocean was and I had to admit. I was longing to be on the beach and in the waves. Allayna walked next to me, and again, I was wishing it were just her and I. I needed some best friend time.

After checking a few other booths, getting a couple water bottles; we decided to head back now that the sun was up at high noon and we were warm.

"Swimming is good for your body after is been in an injury. I think it's a good idea." Vanessa said.

"Oh and you're going to pull me out of the water?" I asked.

"Well, Allayna is the masculine buff one. She can help." Vanessa was always making fun at how Allayna was like a body builder; a bikini competitor in the past and now a personal trainer. Allayna was definitely in shape, but nowhere near bulky or masculine. Her abs and legs were killer. The guys and I train with her a couple months before any big tour to help us get in shape.

"Ness, seriously?" I asked darting her a dirty look as we got back into the car. She looked at me and shrugged, I darted my eyes to Allayna who just had a smirk on her face. I knew she was used to people making comments, and from Vanessa a lot more.
The ride back to my house was thankfully quiet.
“Do you need a suit?” Vanessa asked Allayna, trying to make up from her comment earlier, and helping me into my chair.
“I always have one with me,” Allayna went to her car, pulled out a beach bag, which had a towel, more than one suit, sunscreen and a hat. We went inside, changed and headed to where my pool over looked the ocean. Allayna was already outside, taking the cover off, moving around in her black bikini. I knew better than to stare at her.

“AJ is coming over with Lee,” I spoke up.

“Oh good,” Allayna smiled and began applying sun screen on her fairly tan legs. “See these lounge chairs were a good idea to get with the umbrella in the back.” She opened the white umbrella and I pushed myself to it.

“Are you allowed to take your braces off or even allowed to swim?” Allayna asked, eyeing me.

“They didn’t say not to. Not like I can feel or move my legs anyway. They’re just there to keep the bones straight since I got the casts off. I’ll be floating anyway, not much swimming.” I shrugged and she nodded her head. “Let’s lay out and get warm,” I began to adjust myself to lay in the chair. Vanessa had gone inside to grab some drinks and snacks.

“Need help?” Allayna asked softly, approaching me. I looked at her, my eyes defeated. “It’s okay to ask for help Nick. It’s just your first day home.”

“Not used to that.”

“I know. I know.” She helped me over and then began to take off my braces gently. “You don’t want to have a funny tan line.” She joked. I put some sun screen on my face. “The scars on your legs aren’t too bad.” She ran her long finger across the red line in my right shin.

“You should see my back…I hear that’s a different story.” I tried to joke but was in all serious.

“No, it’s not that bad Nick. Time will fade it and it will be a memory of how strong you are.”

“Could you help with putting lotion on my back?” I asked.

“See you can ask for help!” She took the lotion and hopped behind me to apply it. “You and Vanessa okay?”

“Nothing feels right. I’m more annoyed with her around.”

“You don’t know why?” She rubbed my shoulders. That part of my body I could feel.

“No. I have to figure some things out.”

“Okay, I have some water with fresh lemon!” Vanessa came out, smiling, I know trying to ignore Allayna behind me.

“Perfect. Thank you.” Nick smiled.
An hour later, AJ and Lee had arrived. We were snacking on some veggie sticks, fruit and cold cuts. I really wanted a beer, but knew with my pain meds it wouldn’t have been a great idea.

“I’m hot.” I told Vanessa.

“Do you want to go inside?”

“No, I’d like to try the water.” I looked over to the pool where Allayna was floating on a raff. Sunglasses on, one leg stretched out, the other bent and fingers in the water.

“AJ, want to help me with Nick?” Vanessa called out and stood up from her lounge chair.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“He wants to go in the pool.”

“That a good idea there Nick?”

“It’s fine. I’ll just hold the inner tube and float around.”

“Alright.” AJ brought my chair, helped me into it and then pushed me to the ledge of the pool. “I could just dump you in.” He laughed.

“Don’t you dare Alex,” Lee announced. Allayna had swam over the ledge and pulled herself up.

“I’ve brought my masculine strength to help you,” she shot up her right impressive bicep and looked at Vanessa. “Let’s get him to the ground and he can just slip in then.” I put an arm around AJ and Allanya, they put their arms under my knees and as they lifted me up, Vanessa moved my chair and they sat me down. My legs dangled in the water. It was weird. I could feel coolness of the water, but not actually feel the water.

“Nice work,” Lee smiled. Allayna slipped back into the pool, holding the tube.

“Push up with your arms, and I’ll pull your legs and hips in.” Allayna said. I took a breath, winced with a bit of pain, felt AJ’s hands under my arms and helped me in. “Good?” Allayna whispered, as our faces were inches apart.

“Good,” I smiled. “Just don’t let go.”

“I’ll never let go Jack,” she laughed quoting Titanic.

“I wouldn’t trust her. She definitely let Jack go.” AJ laughed and did a cannon ball in the water.

Allayna with arm put the inner tube over my head and with both hands I held on. I tipped my head back, closed my eyes and enjoyed the sun on my face in my pool, which a week ago, I thought I’d never do. But with a little help of my friends, I knew I’d be okay.

“I don’t understand or get it, but I’ll try to be okay with it,” Vanessa let out a long sigh, nursing a cup of coffee. It was 8:30am and I was waiting for Allayna to come pick me up to go to physical therapy.

“I just need some time with her. You should call up your friend Sarah, go shopping, get your nails done; you know things you used to do before I became a cripple.”

“Nick.”

“I’m serious. You deserve it. You’ve done nothing but be around me and I adore you for that.”

“Adore, huh?”

“Come here,” I patted my lap and she stood up, walked over to be and sat down on my legs. “I need to figure some things out. I know I’m not myself, and I know you’re trying to be patient. So I need to do this. Go
do girl things. “

“Alright. What time do you think you’ll be home?”

“I’m not sure. We will probably grab a bite to eat after. I’ll text you. But take your time coming home. I’m serious. Do something for you.” At that the doorbell rang and I knew in a second Allayna would walk in.

At that she did and as she walked into the room, Vanessa pulled me in and gave me a long kiss. I didn’t pull back, but at the same moment, I realized that it was the first real kiss we’d had in over two months since before my accident. Not to mention, I didn’t feel anything. Not like the way I couldn’t feel my lower half, but nothing inside. I pulled back, gave a smile and gave a light push to get her off my lap.

“Sorry! I should’ve waited for one of you to answer the door my bad.” Allayna smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s fine.” I said and noticed for a second the dark circles under Allayna’s eyes; that were usually bright and full of more life than of any other person I knew. “I’m ready. Let’s go! I’ll text you.”

“Love you Nick,” Vanessa leaned forward and pecked my lips. I smiled.

“Have fun today.” I told her and wheeled over to the table, grabbed my wallet and cell phone and stuck them in the side pocket I had added to my wheel chair.

She helped me into my car, put my chair into the trunk and got into the driver’s seat.

“It seemed a bit intense in there,” she noted and opened the garage. Pulling out, she lowered the windows a bit; just like she always did. “Good to see the passion still-.”

“Don’t say it.” I cut her off and she looked at me before putting her eyes back on the road.

“It’s not what it seems?”

“No. She kissed me. I felt nothing Lon.”

“Were you having these feelings, or non-feelings I should say before your accident?”

“I honestly don’t know. I think we were sort of just going through the motions. You know, just comfortable with each other.”

“I get that. But you’ve been through a lot Nick. Things are going to take a bit of time.”

“It’s been time and I feel smothered.”

“Well, it’s not like things are back to normal. I’m sure she’s afraid to leave you alone, get on with her life. Not used to you being home.”

“We moved in too fast. We saw each other for a week every month. So yeah, the distance actually made us closer. And that should be true to an extent. You’re going to turn at that light.” I reminded her.

“I know where I’m going. So, what do you think you want to do?” Allayna stole a glance at me.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you feel like you should do?”

“To be fair to her?”

“And yourself Nick. You need to be fair and honest for you.” She reached over and grabbed my hand.

“I need to let her go.”

“Who knows? She may feel the same. But because of your injury, is afraid to say it.”

“I’m not sure about that. But when I’d rather spend time with you than her…” I trailed off and lightly laughed. She pulled her hand out of mine and playfully hit me in the shoulder.

“Well, who wouldn’t want to spend time with me?”

We drove the rest of the way to my physical therapy which was only about a ten minute drive, listening to music. I tried to not to think of Vanessa and focus on enjoying the sun, the breeze, and my best friend.

Once we pulled up to the building, Allayna turned the car off and opened her door.

“Shouldn’t you get a handicap sticker or something? I mean you should’ve gotten one way before the accident-“

I again playfully hit her shoulder and unbuckled my seatbelt. She got out, pulled my chair out and I had already opened my door. She watched as I took a deep breath in and out.

“Nervous?” She asked putting the brakes on my chair.

“A bit.”

“It’s the first day. I’m sure it won’t be too bad.” As I started to pull myself over she took my legs and followed me into the chair with them. She pushed me up the ramp, hit the handicap button and the door opened. We went inside to the front desk which was low and appropriate.

“Nick Carter to see Jonathan?” I spoke up to the smiling elderly lady.

“Welcome. I just need you to fill these papers out and I will let Jonathan know you’re here. Should only be a couple minutes.” She handed me a clipboard with a pen attached. Allayna and I went to the lobby, she sat down and I began filling out the two page paper.

“Thank you for coming with me again.” I told her, writing down my insurance and then answering a bunch of questions on family history, my own medical history.

“Please. I have nothing better to do.”

“No clients today to train?”

“I gave them over to Eric.” Eric used to be her boyfriend, first started out as her personal trainer when she got started in the fitness industry. They opened a gym together, now he solely owns it, and she works for him. “I’m all yours.” She put a hand on my left arm. I finished up filling out the hundred question form and a tall guy walked out.

“Nick Carter?” He asked smiling.

“That’s me,” I looked up and felt small. Which being over six feet tall, this was a first. I reached my hand out, he shook it.

“And is this your wife?” He asked turning his direction who Allayna who now stood up.
She let out a half laugh, reached for his hand, “Best friend. Here to make sure he doesn’t give you any problems.”

“Nice to meet you. Okay, well, I’ll look over your paper work, you can follow me back here and we can get started.” I pushed myself, Allayna, stayed near me and we went back to a wide open room. This was a facility that specialized in spinal and neck rehabilitation. A young woman helped a younger boy walking with two bars. An older man was on a weight machine with another woman helping.

“Here we are. If I could just get you up onto the table here Nick.” Jonathan set his clipboard down on a backless chair with wheels. He watched as I put my brakes on, the table was hip height to the chair. My chair didn’t have arm rests for this reason of me getting in and out of easily. I winced as I sat down, pulled my left leg up onto the chair and then my right.

“You’re moving around impressively,” Jonathan spoke. He picked up my clipboard, skimmed through it, jotted a note in a vanilla folder and put everything back down. “Says you go for another set of X-Rays next week?”

“Yes. Hopefully I can lose the braces then. I went before I left the rehabilitation hospital, and they gave me these braces that allow me to bend my knees easier for getting in and out.”

“I know you wrote all this down, but to get things moving, have you been in a lot of pain?” He asked and started unstrapping the braces.

“I’ve been taking pain meds consistently. Is that weird to be in pain but not able to move anything?”

“Not for your injury. And we look at pain as a good thing. Means your body is heeling. Your scars heeled nicely. No swelling in your legs.” He began to push and move around parts of my legs, ankles and thighs. When he got to my right knee area, I let out a moan. He looked up with just his eyes and began to press around some more. I shut my eyes tight and gripped the table. He then did the same on my left leg. It was tender but not like my right leg.

“You can feel that Nick?” Allayna asked sitting in a chair next to my table.

“I can, but can’t move my legs.” I saw her give me a half smile with a side of worriedness.

“I’m going to have you flip to your stomach Nick, so I can examine your back and pelvis.” Jonathan pulled a pillow up from under the table, helped me get to my stomach where I laid on the pillow. “Okay in this position?” He asked starting to roll up my shirt.

“Right now. It’s a little uncomfortable.”

“Let me know if it becomes too much.” The guy was sincerely and seemed to know what he was doing. He once again began pushing around my scar, moving my hips a bit and when and pushed my right hip downward I let out a scream into the table. Allayana had immediately stood up and put her hand on my arm.

“Is that normal?” She asked Jonathan.

“I’m going to call his doctor for when they do the X-Rays next week to do specific films. I’m sure it’s just everything heeling. I’m going to put some heat on your back, hips and legs Nick. And then show you some stretches and light workouts for you to start at home. Your upper body strength is better than I thought it would be.”

“Well, this one here, did have me on a workout routine.” My head was to the side, and I looked at Allayna. She didn’t have a smile on her face. Her arms were crossed, with the one hand still on my arm; while biting the corner of her lip.

“She’s a keeper. I’ll be back. Sit tight.”

“Like I’m going to run away,” I joked. Allayna still didn’t smile. “What’s wrong?” I asked. She shook her head no, swallowed and looked anywhere but at me. This was her way of keeping back tears. I was not worried. “Allayna, sit next to me.” She did and took my hand. I could see her focusing on her breathing, which I could hear becoming raspy. “Take your inhaler please.” I smiled to remind her. She dug through her purse, took out the blue inhaler, shook it and took two puffs. She has had extremely bad asthma for as long as I’ve known her and it tended to flare up when she got upset.

“Alright, we’ll just heat you up for about ten minutes. It’s good to help move your muscles around.”

“Should’ve done that before you poked me around.” I laughed.

“Sorry. Needed to see how your body reacted without temperature change. I’ll be getting things ready. Do you need anything at the moment?”

“Do you have some water? I think Allayna needs some.”

“Sure thing. There is a water cooler right over there. Help yourself.” He smiled and pointed around the corner and walked away again.

“Go get some water.” She still hadn’t said anything, but this was how she handled things. Either she was full in your face or she shut down. She squeezed my hand, left her purse on the chair and got up. The heat on me did feel good, and I made a note to get myself some heating pads. A second later Allayna sat back down.

“You going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I just-,” She let out a sigh, licked her lips and leaned forward in her chair. “I just hate seeing you like this.” I felt my heart pull a little. Now that I thought about it, she has held it together from the start. Vanessa cried for the first three days straight, been all over me; but not Allayna.

“I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Do you know that?” I pushed myself up onto my elbows a bit. She nodded her head, bit her lip again, and dropped her head. “Lon.”

“I’m good.” She picked her head up, smiled the smile she knew I needed to see.

After being heated up, Jonathan moved my in ways I didn’t know I could move. Showed Allayna how to help me stretch, to keep my muscles moving and assured as soon as I was out of the braces I would be give given more exercises to do. He put this stim machine on me, which had these electrode patches on my thighs, calves, and lower back. I could feel the muscles tense up and relax. We did this for about ten minutes before he brought over bags of ice for me to lay on my back with. He also put my legs in these air mattress like things that filled up with ice water. I must say it all felt good.

We set up an appointments for every two days for the next week until my next doctor’s appointment. And once the X-rays looked cleared, I’d be going every other and then probably every day.

Allayna had to help me more in the car that usual, but my body had moved around in ways that it hadn’t in a few months. Once in the car she, she started the ignition and looked at me.

“Lunch?”

“Lunch. I’m starving.” We decided to go to this small café that sat in front of the water and they had salads and wraps. We both ordered a salad, I got steak on mine and she ordered chicken, but having waters.

“You did great for the first day Nick.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Yes, you could’ve.” She took a sip of her water and looked out into the ocean.

“I know what I need to do with Vanessa but I also need to ask you for a huge favor.”

“Okay?” She sat back in her chair.
“I’m going to break up with her. It’s not fair for me to drag her on, to basically use her to help me.”

“You sure?”

“Come on. You see it. You’ve seen in for a while but you always let me make my own decisions.”

“So, what’s the favor? I will not break up with her for you.” She laughed.

“No. I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Uh-you have before with Cam.”

“But I did do it eventually.”

“What’s your wish Carter?”

“Move in with me.”

“That it?”

“Well,” I was surprised at her comment and it threw me off guard. “Yes.”

“Break up with her, and yeah. But are you sure it’s what you want?”

“I don’t love her. I don’t think I could.” I said honestly.

“When do you think?”

“I think I need to do it today. I mean, why pull her along for something that’s not there?”

“True.” Our salads came out and although I felt bad for what I had to do with Vanessa, I also felt this weight off my shoulders and enjoyed my lunch.

“I’ll text you when she’s gone. And we can do a pizza and movie night?”

“I’ll bring over stuff to make healthy pizzas.” Allayna helped me inside my house. Vanessa was home, but I could hear the TV on in the living room.

“Wish me luck,” I looked up at Allayna.
“You’re doing the right thing. Good luck Carter,” she smiled and walked out the front door.

“Nick is that you?” Vanessa came bounding in the room. “How was your first day?!” She asked and kissed me.

“It went really well. Did you go out?”

“I did for a bit. But wanted to make sure you I was home when you got here.” I nodded my head and went into the living room. Vanessa followed.

“Vanessa we need to talk.”

“Oh no. Something happened at PT?” She sat down on the ottoman and faced me.

“No. Everything was fine. I need to talk about you and I.” I paused studying her facial expression, which read nothing. “I’m not going to sugar coat it. I think you and I should break up.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You know and I know, it’s just not working. We barely speak, I don’t feel what we once had.”

“It’s a new transition for us Nick.”

“Yes and no. I think it’s an eye opener.”

“It’s Allayna isn’t it? She told you to-.” At Allayna’s name, my defense rose.

“SHE has nothing to do with this.”

“You’re kidding right? She has everything to deal with this. She has been more of a girlfriend to you than you let me.”

“She’s my best friend.”

“Which I understand but it’s to the extreme. Nick, come on.”

“I will not apologize for her being my best friend. But I will also not hurt you anymore so I am letting you go.”

“Letting me go?”

“Breaking up, whatever you want to call it. You deserve better than what I am giving you.”

“If you see that, then change.”

“Vanessa, be honest with yourself.”

“I saw this coming. Actually talked about it today when I went out. Just didn’t think it would be today.” She finally admitted and gave in.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. We had some great times, but I need to figure out things on my half.”

“One day you’ll wake up Nick.” She said calmly and although I had no idea what she was talking about, I smiled.

“I’ll help you find a place and help pay.”

“That’s sweet. But I’ll just go to Sarah’s. She has an extra room and it’s probably best if we break ties completely.” There was a pause. “I’m going to go pack.”

“I’ll come help.” And that I did. We did it in absolute silence but an hour and a half later, her car was packed with her luggage, a couple boxes and some odd and end things.

“I will miss you.” She said, leaning down and kissing my cheek. I kissed her back.

“I will miss you.” She nodded and got into her car. I watched as she pulled out and then sent a text to Allayna. I had sent one a half hour ago that we were loading her car, and she said she was at the store getting stuff.

“She’s gone.”

“I’ll be there in ten.” She responded and I made my way back to the house.

Once inside, exhaustion took over me. My entire body hurt. I just wanted to lay on the couch, watch TV and take a nap. I rolled over to my large leather couch, the AC felt good compared to outside and knew the cold leather would feel good on my body.

I began to push myself over when the chair slipped from out of me, I landed half on the couch and half on the floor, my back arching in a painful way. My knees slammed into the floor causing more pain.

“Ahh-Dammit,” I said out loud to myself, sliding the all the way to the floor, my back and legs began to cramp and tighten. The pain was too much and I let the tears out. ‘Focus on your breathing Nick,’ I told myself trying to calm down. And that I did. I wanted to roll from my stomach to back but I couldn’t move. I laid there. Allayna would be there soon, I could get some pain killers in me. I’d be fine.


“Sorry, took longer than I thought,” Allayana’s voice echoed from the walk way. “Some idiot was driving really slow in front of me. And of course its double solid line so I couldn’t pass.” Her voice went into the kitchen.
“Allayna-,” I called out but it wasn’t load enough.

“Nick?” She called out, found her way to where the TV was on and then she saw me. “Oh my God. Nick what happened?” I was on the floor sprawled out, my chair on top of my legs. She picked the chair up and knelt down.

“I fell?” I opened one eye.

“Are you hurt?”

“I hurt. But I don’t know if I’m hurt.”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

“No, no. I just- ah.” I tried to sit up. “Everything is tight.”

“Okay. I’m going to get your pain pills and the muscle relaxer. Where are they?”

“Night stand.” She brushed my hair out of my eyes and stood up quickly. Not even a minute passed and she was back with my pills and a water bottle.

“I’m going to have to sit you up to take these.” I nodded my head, knowing that this would be painful. As gently as possible, she rolled me over to my back. Waited a minute to make sure I was breathing, and then knelt behind me. She put her hand under my arms and pulled me to her; she was down sitting in a straddle leaning against the couch. I laid my head back onto her chest.

“You’re okay.” She kept a hand around my middle, the other hand brushing my hair and side of my face. “Just breathe,” I could feel her arm wrap around me tighter, her cheek leaned into my forehead. “You ready to take them?” She asked, opening up both bottles and putting a two pills in her palm. I nodded. She put one pill in my mouth, and lifted the water bottle up to my lips. I took a long pull and swallowed and then repeated with the other pill.

“Can we just sit here for a bit, until they kick in.” I pleaded.

“This was hell of a welcome Nick.” She told me. I nodded, because talking took too much work and dropped my head back onto her chest.

"It's like this huge ass body cramp." I tried to explain. I then felt her fingers start massaging the top of my neck and began to make their way down my back.

"Does this hurt?"

"In a good way." I told her and she got to my lower back, sort of propping me up with her left arm. She then got to thighs and I could feel my body relax into her.

A few minutes later, my body began to feel like it didn’t belong to me. The meds and massage were working.

“Okay.” I told her.

“Ready to move?” She asked looking down.

“Well, if you are. I don’t think I’ll be helping a lot.” She carefully got herself up to her knees, her arms under mine.

“We’re going to go straight back to the couch,” she told me. “On three, one-two-three.” She stood up, pulled me and herself onto the couch, with me mostly on top of her. After she slid out, she picked my legs up, put them on the couch and two large pillows under them.

“Can you get another pillow for behind my back.” Without saying anything, she left the room and came back, adjusting me a bit more.

“How are you feeling?”

“Numb. Thank you. I promise, it’s not usually like this. I think I forgot to lock my brakes on the chair and when I tried to move onto the couch it went from under me.”

“I thought Vanessa beat you up for breaking up with her,” she winked and knelt down on the floor.

“Funny,” I said my eyes started to get heavy.

“You’ve had a long day. Sleep. I’ll make dinner and get the guest room set up for me.”

“I love you Lon.” My eyes were now closed. She kissed the top of my head and got up.


It was dark outside when I woke up, except for the flow from the TV. My body felt heavy when I tried to move. It took me a minute to remember everything that happened. That’s what the pain killers will do.
“Allayna?” I looked over to the chair where shew as sitting, she had her glasses on watching TV.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty. Damn those things knocked you on your ass.”
“That’s why I don’t usually take that big one.”
“You needed it though. Are you hungry? Dinner is in the oven.”
“I am. But need to pee first.” She threw the blanket off from her lap and stood up.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to be this much work,” she laughed and took the blanket off of me. She must have put it on when I fell asleep.
“You can change your mind anytime.” I told her honestly.
“Never. Sit up slow,” she said helping me get to the upright position. My lower back hurt but nothing like before I fell asleep. She brought my chair over, put the brakes on and as I reached over to pull myself on, she put her hands under me. “You’re shaking Nick.”
“Probably from the pills.” I sat on the chair, she positioned my feet onto the foot rest and pushed me to the bathroom.
“Nick, I don’t know if you should do this on your own. You don’t look well.” She said seriously.
“I’ll be fine, I promise. There are some things I have to do on my own.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t need to see anything but really.”
“There are extra safety bars around my toilet.” I told her and she nodded her head.
“I’ll be outside if you need me. Don’t be afraid to-,”
“I’m okay.” I reassured her and went into the bathroom and closed the door. Peeing sitting down for a man is a weird thing. But you do what you gotta do. I pulled myself over, still shaking and taking twice as long as normal but I made sure I was safe so I wouldn’t traumatize Allayna anymore. Finishing up, I washed my hands and opened the door.
“Sorry if I’m too paranoid now. I know that Vanessa was the same way, but seeing you on the floor when I came in.”
“I know. I’m sorry for that. But I’m fine, let’s eat.” She pushed me out to the dining room, and came back out with pizza on a pizza stone, and a fresh salad.

It had been a little over a week since Allayna moved in with me. We got into a pretty good schedule with each other. I’d wake up early with her to go to the gym, she got me doing some really light weight again for my upper body.

She would train a client, we’d go to my PT. I usually needed a nap or rest after. So she would go workout and then we’d spend the day together, planning meals, making meals, visiting some friends I hadn’t seen in a while. Our lifestyle definitely complemented each other but didn’t change each other.

We were at my spinal specialist, and I had just gotten X Rays taken and were in the exam room waiting when there was a knock on the door.
Dr. Klein walked in, and put my XRays up on the light board.

“Well, Nick, everything seems to be heeling nicely. We can most certainly lose the braces. We may need to get some more scans of that right leg of yours later on when you’re doing my more therapy; if you keep having as much pain as you say you do.”

“But my bones are heeled?”

“Looks like it. Obviously now, it’s the waiting game with your spinal nerves to regain full function. But it’s only been a few months and you’re already a lot further than we thought you’d be for the rest of your life. We have great optimism on you.” He smiled and I looked at Allayna who was smiling ear to ear. “I’ll have you set up an appointment for in six weeks. If you have any problems or concerns before that, then please call.”

“Thank you,” I said and he shook my hand and then Allayna’s. “So no more braces?”

“Well, until you’re walking, no more. We may need different ones when that starts.” I nodded my head. “Have a good day.” He said.

“You too,” Allayna spoke for the both of us. “What do you want to do?” She asked as we made our way to the receptionist.

“It’s going to rain later and crappy out. Let’s play video games.” I made my appointment and we got back into the car.

Once we were home, I got comfy to play my video games and Allayna was determined to get a run in before the rain hit.

“Run tomorrow.” I bagged, keeping my eyes on the screen.

“I will. But didn’t get a workout in today. I won’t be long. Just a thirty minute one quick one.” She laced up her sneakers. “No dancing while I’m gone.” She held her phone up. I held my mine up, still looking at the TV. It was our code to make sure I was safe while she wasn’t in the house, and I was by myself.

Like usual I was lost in my video game and the thirty minutes passed fast and soon it was forty five minutes. This was sometimes typical of Allayna's workouts that went longer than she would say; but when it came to running she normally was right now. At fifty minutes I shot her a text.

“I’m getting hungry, want me to start dinner?” We were going to have to pasta, sauce and meatballs. My specialty somehow; although I wasn’t Italian. I put my phone down, picked up my controller and a minute later my phone buzzed.

I glanced down at it, ready to read something like “start the water.”

“Need neb 5 min”

“Crap.” I said out loud, got myself into my chair and went into Allayana’s room. On her nightstand was her nebulizer. I opened it up, opened one of the liquid plastic containers full if her asthma medicine and poured it in the neb. I turned it on, so it was ready to go when she got here and I went back out to the side door I knew she would be coming in. The door opened, and Allayna, sweating, wheezing, coughing and holding her inhaler came in.

“It’s set up.” I said, as she took her shoes off and walked into her room. I followed and watched as she put the mask on, and laid on the bed. She put her hands over her eyes. She continued to cough for a minute, rolled over to her side, holding her stomach and one hand on her head. She didn’t like to be touched during an asthma attack because it made her breathing worse. “Come on keep breathing,” I told her and when she reached for my hand my stomach sank.

“I-ca-can’t,” She had taken the mask off, and was wheezing worse.

“Keep it on,” I held it to her nose and mouth. This was the third attack in four days. She blamed it on the humidity, but it had been a while since she had them consistently like this. And every time she said couldn’t get the medicine but it did eventually work. Her eyes closed and a minute later she started breathing almost normal.

I watched as the vapor disappeared, letting me know there was no more left of the medicine, I turned the machine off and put the mask back on it. Her body began to shiver as it normally did after. During she would break out in a sweat and after she’d be freezing. I pulled a blanket over her bare legs and shoulders.

“Allayna, you need to go to your doctors.” She shook her head no, in the stubborn way she was. “Last time you had this many in a row, you needed a new prescription; that’s all.” I tried to reason with her. I’m not going to lie. It scared the crap out of me everything time she had an attack.

“It’s the weather.” She stated once again. Yesterday when she had the attack, the inhaler worked and she didn’t need the nebulizer. The day before, we were at the gym and Eric had to bring her and I home to get it.

“If it happens again this week, you’re going. I’ll call Eric to take you.” I threatened. Although the two had a pretty good relationship, I knew she hated to break down in front of him the most. He had this power over her that she never could understand. She could never be fit enough or pretty enough and it was her that broke the relationship off because she didn’t’ feel good enough.
Talk to her around any other person, she has the most confidence in the world.

A minute later she was asleep.


The next day, I woke up to Breaking Benjamin playing and when I went out of my bedroom to see what was going on, Allayna was cleaning.

“Morning.” I said out loud, to the dancing Allayana washing my kitchen windows. She didn’t hear me but continued to sing, “I will not bow, I will not break.”
I turned the iPod deck off. “Morning.” I said again and she whipped around.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” She asked.

“Not at all. Breaking Ben usually puts me to sleep.” I joked and opened the fridge.

“There’s a protein smoothie for you.” I found the green glass on the middle shelf and took it out.

“Thanks. What’s with the cleaning?”

“Needed to be done.”

“You clean every day.” I laughed and took a sip of my shake.

“Yeah but when is the last time your windows were done.” She had a point.

“Want to go for a walk on the beach and do my exercises there?” It was my “day off” from going to PT.

“Sure. Let me finish and dress. Hit play please.” She went back to the windows and I hit play on my iPod. Next to it her phone lit up.

‘Please just one night out. If you feel nothing, then I’ll leave you alone’ A text from Eric. I looked up to see if she saw me reading it, but she was too busy singing and cleaning. I took my shake with me and went to get ready for the day.

When Eric had brought us home two days ago after her asthma attack at the gym he had asked me a few questions. Like if she were seeing anyone or if she talked about him. I had said no answering to both questions. I also had reminded him how much healthier and happier she had been since breaking up with him.

“She was in the best shape of her life, when she was with me and doing shows.” Eric told me after Allayna fell asleep. “I mean her asthma was in better control, she looked shredded.”

“Became anemic, obsessed with counting calories and macros. Herself. She lost herself. That’s not her. I know she cared and cares for you, but that’s not the relationship she wants to live with.”

“That’s normal for body competitors.”

“She’s happy helping and working at your gym. Leave it.”

“I’m going to ask her on a date.” He stated, acting like he didn’t hear a word I said.

I never told her about mine and his conversation. I got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair and waited for Allayna to finish up.

Twenty minutes later we were walking down the beach on the walkway. She carried a bag of towels, sun screen, resistance bands and water.

I got situated on my town and I noticed how quiet she was.

“Are you mad about yesterday?” I asked.

“Not at all.” She said.

“You’re quiet.” She shrugged her shoulders and got the resistance band around my foot and ready for e to work with.

I began my therapy, Allayna helping me here and there and like I knew she would, she finally broke.

“Eric is taking me on a date tonight.” Well, her breaking gave me news I wasn’t expecting. I was expecting her telling me about the text, asking for advice.

“Really?” I stopped doing my leg lift.

“He kept asking. Why not? I mean we were friends before and after we dated.”

“It’s a date thought.”

“Yes.”

“If that’s what you want.” I went back to my exercises and tried to ignore the feeling I had in my stomach.

“You don’t think it’s a good idea.” She asked, taking a sip of her water and then putting her sunglasses on top of her head as though to get a better look at my reasoning.

“I think you’re in a really good place right now Allayna. You were in a dark place for a while. You traveled, did what you wanted, and found yourself again. You worked hard to be you.”

“People change.”

“I don’t think he has. He’s a good guy, but not good for you.”

“I should cancel?”

“That’s not you either.”

“Go as friends.”

“I think it’s safe.”






I watched as Allayna got into Eric’s black Jag, him holding the door for her, her wearing black heels, cropped rip jeans and a black tank with sparkly things on it.

I had taken my guitar out to work on some music, for the first time since before the accident. Lately I have felt a bunch of different emotions; emotions I didn’t know what were from or why. And when I normally feel like this, writing music was usually best.

I kept my phone next to me, made sure my sound was on in case Allayna needed an escape but also knew she was a big girl. So, what about her being out was bothering me so much? She’s lived with me before, we both dated, never felt like this. Or maybe that’s the reason. We were both dating and right now I wasn’t. And it’s just Eric.

I went back to strumming on the guitar for a while and eleven thirty I heard two doors slam followed by raised voices. I pushed myself over to the front door, which was opened to get some fresh air in of course.
“I told you this was a bad idea,” Allayna’s voice boomed.

“You’re being crazy like usual. The night was going fine. I said one comment and you over reacted.”

“I am not that person anymore Eric. There are plenty of girls out there who like to be, but it’s not for me.” I watched as he went up to her as she had started to the door.

“I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” He took her arm, not with force but she jerked away; causing a tree branch near to hit Eric in the eye and as on reaction shoved Allayna. I watched her heel got caught between the stone path and she went down one way and her ankle the other.

“Ah!” She pulled leg into her and I went on the porch.

“Allayna,” I wheeled down the slight ramp and next to her.


“Of course.” Eric said kneeling down. Allayna was now breathing heavy and the wheezing started. “Come on let me get you inside.”

“GO! Go away!” She yelled picking her head up from her knee. She then dropped it, Eric looked at me and I nodded. He yelled out, “fine,” and got into his car and slammed the door. We could here the tires squeal away.

“Let me see,” I bent down from my chair, reached for her left leg and she let go with her hands. Her ankle was already swelling and bruising. She was coughing and wheezing. I almost wish Eric had stayed because I was going to have a hard time. “Do you think it’s broken?” I asked as she had already re-grabbed it with her hands.

She shook her head no and started going through her purse. She took her inhaler out and shook it. Putting it to her mouth, she pressed down twice. Inhaled and pressed a couple more times.

“I’m out.” She said in between breaths.

“Do you have another?”

“At the gym.”

“Didn’t you just get that one last week?”

“I’ve…needed it a…lot.”

“Let’s get the neb going. Can you stand?” I reached for her hands that were shaking, she got on one foot. “Okay yeah, hopping on one foot during an asthma attack, you’ll probably hurt the other. Sit on my lap.” She did and the wheezing sound she was making made my stomach sink. I got into her room as fast as I could.

She got on her bed, and started fumbling with the medicine to put into it. After the third time of not succeeding, she kicked her foot, the hurt one on the night stand, cried out and then started crying. I felt her pain. Feeling helpless and not able to do anything.

“Here,” I took it from her, put the medicine in, put the mask on her and she began to take deep breaths in. I then gently took off her high heels, and gently ran my fingers over her swollen ankle. I put a blanket under it, propping it up and went out to the kitchen.
Opening the freezer door, I looked and couldn’t reach the ice so I grabbed a bag of frozen veggies and brought them back in with me. I put the blanket over her ankle and the ice on top. She let out a soft moan and saw she was still crying which was making her breathing worse.

“Allayna, you have to knock it off. You’re not going to be able to get the medicine in if you’re still crying.”

I rubbed her shoulder and back to help calm her down. I went into her purse where I knew her phone would be. I took it out and texted AJ.

‘I need some help with Allayna. Can you come over now?’ It was almost midnight and was hoping he was awake.

Allayna had calmed down and after ten minutes her breathing was almost normal. I took the mask of, and pushed back her long dark hair.

“There ya go.” I smiled and she opened her eyes.

“Sorry.” She whispered.

“Shh. Let me take care of you this time.” Her phone buzzed.

“Turn it off.” She said thinking it was Eric.

“It’s AJ I sent him a text.” I read her phone. ‘What’s going on? I was asleep.’

“Why?” She started sitting up.

“I’m going to take you to the ER.”

“No. I’m fine.” She was now sitting all the way up. “Please.”

“Your ankle might be broken and this is too many attacks. Something is wrong.”

“It’s a sprain and it was an attack because I got upset.” She started to stand. “See it’s-.” She reached out for me when she tried to put pressure on it.

“Sit,” I pushed her back on the bed.

“I’m so tired Nick. Can we go tomorrow?” I looked at her. She did look tired.

“Tomorrow.” I told her and texted AJ. ‘Can you come over in morning? I need to get her to a Dr. She hurt her ankle and has had four asthma attacks in last few days.’
‘Yeah. I’ll be there first thing. Call if you need me sooner.’

‘Thanks man.’

‘Night.’

“Let’s get you in your PJs,” I reached for the cotton shorts and tank that was on the bed. I helped her slip off the right leg of her jeans and then very slowly the left. As I went over her right ankle I watched as she winced. “Sorry.” I slipped her shorts on. “I’ll let you put your shirt on. And get you some water and Advil.”

“Thanks.” I left the room, more worried about her than normal I hurried to get the water and Advil. I knocked on the door a minute later.

“Decent?”

“I guess.” She was sitting up still, legs dangling over the bed. Her ankle had swelled up to the size of a soft ball.

“Here.” I handed her the bottle and water. She dumped three in her palm and tossed them in her mouth, chasing them back with water. “You should elevate that.” I helped her lift her leg back into the bed. “I may have a wrap to keep the ice on.” I left the room again, went to the closet in my bathroom and in a basket I found and Ace bandage. Going back into her room, she was laying down and I got up in the bed with her.

“Let me know if this hurts.” She nodded her head and I placed the bag of veggies on the side of her ankle and then gently began wrapping her foot. My eyes kept darting from her eyes back to what I was doing; checking for pain. When I was done, I put the two clips on.

“Feels better already Doc,” she winked and I let out a sigh. She was going to be okay. “Nick.”

“Lay with me tonight?”

“You got it,” I reached over turned off the light and pulled myself next to her. “We’re quite the pair right now you and I; if people could see us.” I laughed. She only said “hmm.” “Allayna.”

“Yes?”

“What happened tonight?”

“He wanted me back.”

“And.”

“And I suggested we date a few more times. We were having fun.”

“So what happened?”

“He started talking about programs and everything for me to get back into shape and how it wouldn’t take me long because muscle memory would happen. Basically I still wasn’t good enough.”

“You’re perfect for me.” I pulled her into me, and she squeezed my arm.

“As you are for me.”

The next morning I woke up to a buzzing sound. It took me a good minute remember the nights events before.

Allayna was lying asleep next to me, my body was more stiff than usual because I wasn’t in my own bed. The sun was up and I looked over Allayna’s shoulder to read the alarm clock.

It was eight forty-seven. Definitely a late morning for the both of us, considering we were used to getting up around seven. As I pushed myself all the way to a sitting position, the buzzing noise brought me back to the reason for me waking up. I reached over Allayna and grabbed her phone.

“Ugh,” I remembered I had asked AJ to come that early morning when I saw who was texting her.

‘You awake?’ ‘ Am I still coming over?’ ‘Everyone alive?’ ‘Should I call an ambulance? 911, the police?’ All from AJ.

‘Sorry. I just woke up. Allayna is still sleeping.’ I sent back, leaning against the headboard.

‘Where is your phone?’

‘In the living room.’

‘Why do you have hers?’

‘I’m in her room.’ I immediately regretted what I sent to him.

‘Ooo. You two finally did it?!’

‘No. We slept together.’ Dammit Carter. I scolded myself. ‘Just slept.’

‘Sure sure. Am I still coming over?’ At that I heard Allayna move around and let out a soft moan.

“Hey,” I whispered and smiled when her eyes contacted mine.

“Hi,” she said back, her eyes still full asleep.

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay. Just tired. What time is it?”

“Almost nine.”

“What?” She sat up and winced. Her eyes remained closed for a brief moment and she let out a breath.

“Let me see it.”

“It’s fine.”

“Uh huh. Well, I have AJ here on the phone. Ready to come take you to the doctors. Either way you’re going to get checked out for your breathing.” I then began pulling up and off the sheets. “Now, make it easier on me and swing around. She let out a groan and slowly brought her up her left leg, and draped it across my lap.

“I don’t remember the last time I slept in.” She said watching as I unraveled the bandage from the now mushy bag of veggies.

“You needed it.” As soon as the bandage was off, I knew her ankle was bad and pulled off the defrosted veggies.

“See its fine?” It came out more as a question as she examined her foot. I was already texting AJ that we would need him.

“Call your Doctor and make an appointment.” She let out another groan and dropped her face into the bed. She was so mature when it came to others but as soon as she was supposed to take care of herself; she wanted nothing about it. I shoved her phone in her face. She took it, looked at me and then went through her contacts. A moment later she hung up the phone.

“They can get me in forty-five.”

“Perfect.”

“It’s a forty minute drive.”

“Doctors are always late. AJ is on his way. Start
getting ready.” I was already getting myself into my chair and she sat there. “Stop pouting.” I watched as she scooched to bottom of the bed. She held onto the bed as she stood up; and as she tried to step forward on her left foot, she quickly picked it up.

“This is dumb.” She said in frustration.

“I should give you my chair.”

“I can manage. Go.” She said sharply. “Make the coffee please.” She hopped on one foot and went to her dresser. I tried not to laugh and made my way out.
I got the coffee going and a few minutes later AJ was ringing the doorbell.

“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, sporting a tank top, jeans, a hat and sunglasses. He gave me a brief hug.

“Hey thanks for coming.”

“No problemo. Where is the damsel in distress?” He put his glasses on top of his head.

“Getting dressed. Moving slowly. Can you get the almond milk and that travel mug down for me? If she doesn’t have her coffee you’re going to have a long morning.”

“You’re not coming?”

“Time I get ready, she will be later.” At that moment Allayna came hopping out, wearing yoga pants, a tank top, a sweatshirt around her waist and a sneaker on.

“Damn girl, you’re a mess.” AJ handed me the milk and mug and went over to her.

“Good to see you to Alex,” she glared and hugged him back.

“Here is your coffee, now go.” I told her. “AJ maybe give her a lift?”

“I am bringing her. That’s why I’m here.”

“No AJ. Pick her up.”

“Ah. Okay.” With that he swiftly picked her up.

“Call or text me as soon as you have answers.” I handed her the mug and smiled. She still wasn’t smiling as AJ carried her out to the car.

I showered, got dressed myself and made some breakfast while waiting to hear from Allayna. I wish I could’ve taken her. After cleaning up the kitchen, I did my morning stretches and as I worked on my leg movement my phone buzzed. It had been almost two hours since they had left.

‘I’m dying and they’re cutting my foot off.’ The text from Allayna read.

‘Funny.’ I wrote back.

‘You know me.’

‘Seriously. Are you on your way home? What did they say?’

‘Gave me a stronger inhaler, different meds for the neb and have to do that every morning and night for next month or so.’

‘Ankle?’

“Bad sprain. Have me in a boot and crutches. It’s fine.’

‘Do you have a follow up?’

‘Two weeks.’

‘Are you on way?’

‘Picking up prescriptions now. Be home in ten.’

‘I’ll make you breakfast.’

‘Thanks.’ I felt bad for the position she was in but knew she’d be fine and able to handle it. As I went to the kitchen the doorbell rang again. No idea who it could be or maybe it was Allayna pranking that she were already home, I went to the front door. I looked out the side window and was surprised when I saw it was Eric. I opened the door and was actually grateful that Allayna wasn’t home.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I came to check on Allayna. She didn’t show up this morning and didn’t answer my texts.”

“She’s actually at the doctors. Her ankle is pretty bad.”

“I didn’t mean to push her.”

“I know I saw it. But you did. And she got hurt.”

“Are you two a couple?”

“What? That’s not your business but no.”

“She’s here to just take care of you?”

“We’re best friends.”

“I know that. But nothing more?”

“I think you should go and you need to leave her alone. If she contacts you, then fine, but let her be.”

“I just want to talk to her. Can I hang out until she gets back.” This guy was starting to piss me off.

“Actually no. I’ll let her know you were here.”

“Come on man. You’re a guy, you have to understand.”

“I do. But I also know when a girl isn’t interested.”

“She is, she just is confused.”

“She’s far from that. Now, I have some things to do. Have a good day.” I held the door open.

“Allayna will come around.”

“Okay then.” There was no point. I then heard a door shut and I closed my eyes, cursing under my breath. They were back.

“No need for waiting.” Eric turned on his heel and opened the door as AJ stood behind Allyana who was on crutches, a black boot that went up to her knee fitted her left ankle.

“Allayna, I’m so sorry.”

“Eric, I’m not in the mood. Go home.” She rolled her eyes and walked in. I couldn’t help but grin.

“Everything good?” AJ asked, darting his eyes from me, to Allayna, to Eric, back to me.

“He was just leaving,” I said and Allayna stood close to me.

“Give me five minutes.”

“No.” She turned around on her good leg and walked out of the room.

“On that note, you should probably go.” AJ said politely, placed a hand on Eric’s broad shoulder and held the door open more. Eric didn’t say another word and walked out.

“Thanks.” I said.

“That the ex?”

“Yeah. He’s the reason why Allayna wrecked her foot.”

“Eesh. Okay. Well here are her meds.” AJ handed me the white paper bag. “She’s supposed to be on those crutches for two weeks. She tried to walk without them already but it wasn’t successful. So stay on top of that.”

“Thank you for driving.”

“I’m around this week if you need more help. But she said since it wasn’t her right ankle she could still drive you around.”

“Of course she did.”

“She’s got spirit. Always have thought so. Anyhow. I’m off to my lady’s. We still on to go out Friday?”

“Yes.”

“Sweet. Take it easy. Tell her I said goodbye. I think she went to lay down.”

“Will do. Thanks AJ.” AJ left, I locked the door, more for to keep Eric out. I made my way to the living room where Allayna was lying on the couch, crutches on the floor and foot up on a pillow.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” She said back.

“I’m glad it’s just a sprain.”

“Yeah. Just a day or two on these things.” She shrugged.

“Right. Not what AJ said the doctor said.”

“Tattle tale.”

“He’s looking out for you. Want to watch a movie?”

“Did you do your exercises?”

“Some. I’ll finish later.”

“You’re going to therapy tomorrow.”

“Okay. Let me take care of you today.” She looked at me, and let out a sigh. “I know you’re not used to it, but you can do it. I know you can.”

“I want to cuddle.”

“I can do that. Move over.” Thankful for my large couch, I pushed myself on, got comfortable and had Allayna lay back into me. We have cuddled in the past before, but this time it felt different. I felt very productive. I could never think of pushing a woman, non-the-less, Allayna.

The next morning, Allayna was up doing her same routine as though nothing were wrong. Despite the fact she had a big boot on and had to use crutches. But at seven am, she was awake, made us a protein shake and we headed to the gym.

“I sent you a text saying you didn’t have to come in.” Eric had greeted us at the door. He had on a cut off shirt that said Gainze, shorts and a pair of black Nikes.

“Oh, must have never got it.” She lied.

“Well, had you gotten it, it would’ve also said I have taken over your clients and gave them to Anna Marie.”

“You did what?” She stood taller, balancing on one foot.

“You’re injured. It’s only fair our clients get the best.”

“I am the best.”

“When you’re back on two feet and in shape, yes, you will be again.”

“It’s been a day. I am in shape.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Obviously I don’t. You had no right.”

“It’s my gym now Lanny.” She rolled her eyes and I waited for her to bash Eric over the head for calling her that nickname. She despised it. “Look. You two can still come in, workout whenever you want for free. But it’s best if maybe you don’t work for me anymore.”

That was my tip to back away and give them some room. I could still see Allayna arguing, using hand gestures, toward Eric. A minute later, she crutched her way to me and headed for the doors.

We got to the car, she opened my door, leaned her crutches against the car, waited for me to get in. I knew better than to say anything at that moment. After I was in, she got my chair in the back, and then got into the drive side. Slamming the door shut, she hit her fist on the steering wheel.

“I don’t know why I’m so pissed. I was planning on leaving his gym anyway.”

“Because you couldn’t do it on your terms.” I stated the obvious. She looked over at me.

“And I wanted to take my clients wherever else I’ll go.”

“You don’t need a job right now. You know I’ll take care
of you.”

“I’m financially set for a while because of the fitness tour I did last fall but you know I like to be independent.”

“I know.”

“Well, crap. I wanted a workout in.”

“Let’s go to PT early and I have an idea for our workouts.” I grinned.

“Oh?”

“Drive.” So we headed to my PT a few hours earlier than planned. It was one of the things I liked about this place. They gave me a few different times to come to be worked on or to work out without really having to make an appointment.

“Are you two serious?” Jonathan asked as we made our way into the building and laughed.

“I couldn’t let him have all of the attention,” Allayna joked.

“What did you do?”

“It’s just a sprain. Lost a fight with a pair of my favorite high heels and a stone walk way.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Come on in, I’ll get Nick heated up and I’ll take a look at it.” I watched as he put his left, un-wedded band, hand the small of her back. Was that jealousy I was feeling?

I got myself situated on the table, laid down and Jonathan layered my back, hips and legs with large heating bags. This was where I’d normally close my eyes and relax. I watched as Allayna hopped up onto a taller table and as Jonathan helped bring her casted leg up onto a pillow.

“When did this happen?” He asked unstrapping her boot.

“Night before last. It was dark, I got my heel stuck, I went one way, body the other. It’s not bad.”

“Ha.” I said still lying down. I couldn’t see, but I could feel Allayna’s eyes shoot me a glare. Like Cyclopes from X-Men.

“I have to go with Nick on this one.” I heard Jonathan say. “You got X-Rays done?” He asked examining the swollen, dis colored foot.

“Yeah.”

“Did they ask you to come in for another set of them in a few days when the swelling goes down?” His voice was serious, and I propped myself up on my elbows.

“No. I have to go back in 2 weeks, mostly to check on my asthma but they said they’d give my ankle a look too.”

“You think something is broken?” I jabbed in.

“It’s probably one of the worse sprains I’ve ever seen. So just being cautious. I’ll keep an eye on it, but we may want to get another set of films in a few days. If you did break something, sometimes it won’t show because of how swollen it is.”

“Great.” Allayna showed off a fake grin.

“I’m going to use an ultra sound on it, to get the blood flowing a bit and then we will do some hot/cold therapy. The ultra sound won’t hurt but the therapy will be painful. It should bring down the swelling a bit.”

“Thanks.” Allayana’s voice soft and she looked over to me.

“We are now PT buddies!” I laughed and laid back down. I then felt a pillow be thrown at my face.

Jonathan did the ultra sound thingy on her ankle for five minutes, then put the heating on her ankle. It would be ten minutes of heat and then ten minutes of cold for the next twenty minutes.

As she was heating or icing, Jonathan had me do my stretches, did some stim work and then surprised me when he said we were going to be standing.

“Yeah, how is that going to happen?”

“We have this thing you stand in, it will lock your body out, but get you to have body weight on your legs, hips and torso. We will take it slow, however, because it’s been quite some time since you’ve been completely up right.” He helped me into my chair and then went over to Allayna to check on her.

“You were right about the painfulness.” She was sitting up, leaning against the wall and I could tell she was in a good amount of pain. “How many more times?”

“One more of heat and then we will finish on the ice.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” He took the ice boot off her and put on the heating pad. She grabbed her thigh as he did this and I saw as he put his hand on top of hers.
“You’re doing great,” he smiled. “I’ll be taking Nick over there. If you need anything, just holler. But I’ll be back in ten.” She nodded, smiling back at him. “Let’s head this way Nick.”

“Good luck,” she told me as I followed Jonathan. He got me to sit in this upright chair, in this huge contraption.

“So, after I get you strapped in, I’ll slowly start the machine to get you standing. It’s normal to feel nauseous, or light headed. As soon as you do, let me know and we’ll stop. We’ll see how many degrees when can you get to your feet.”
“Will it hurt?”

“You haven’t show much discomfort lately, so it may not. But that’s all it may be, is uncomfortable. You may be sorer tomorrow. I’d like to start doing this every day, or working on standing every day. So before you leave, I’ll order you new leg braces; which we can practice get you standing without this machine.”

For a minute I was speechless. The first day in the hospital they were telling me I’d probably never walk or move again. And today, today I’d be standing. Okay, I shouldn’t get so far ahead of myself but it was definitely motivation.

Jonathan made sure the straps were tight and my legs were locked. He then started pushing buttons on the machine and it slowly started get me from a sitting position to a standing/seated position. We’d gone maybe five degrees when he stopped.

“I’m going to go a couple degrees at a time to see how you feel.” I gave a thumbs up and wish Allayna could see me. The machine then started going up again, I could feel my knees almost start to straighten out and a wave of dizziness hit me. I tried to ignore it but then a sharp pain went up and down my right leg and into my back. My head fell forward and just like how it started everything went black.

“He’s coming to.” I heard someone’s voice say. I tried to open my eyes but they felt heavy.

“Nick? Nick wake up.” That was Allayna and her voice forced me to open my eyes. She was standing over my head, Jonathan next to her; along with another woman I had no idea who she was.

“His BP is almost back to normal.” The woman with curly hair told Jonathan.

“What happened?” I started to sit up, but Jonathan put his hands on my shoulders, gently pushing me down.

“It was just a bit too much. But it’s normal. Happens everything almost. You did great Nick.” He reassured me. “Are you in any pain?”

Pain? Normal? I had no idea what was going on. I then felt Allayna’s hand in mine.

“Nick does anything hurt?” She asked, searching my face.

“Not like before I passed out.”

“What did you feel before that happened?”

“A sharp pain.”

“Where?” Jonathan asked.

“Um. I think it started in my right leg and went to my back.” Jonathan started to then press on my right leg, move it in weird directions and then pressed on the bottom of my foot. “Ah! Yeah, you found it.”

“Where about in your leg?”

“My knee and hip.”

“Anything on your left side?” He did the same poking and prodding. I waited for the same pain but nothing.

“No.”

“Alright, well, this was the leg that was more severely injured; it makes sense. And it’s going to take time for your back to get stronger to hold you up. We’ll keep at it. I’m going to ice you down and call it a day.” He patted my shoulder, flashed Allayna a smile and walked away.

“How long was I out?”

“Just a couple minutes. They were quick to get you out of that and lying down.”

“How did you get over here so fast?”

“I heard Jonathan say he needed some help, so I jumped off the table and ran.” She smiled. “Or crutched.” I was glad she was there. I felt tired, and my body hurt and just defeated. My eyes closed and I let out a breath. “Nick, you did good.” She rubbed my forehead and pushed my hair back.

“I failed.”

“You heard Jonathan. It’s normal for the first few times.”

“Few times?”

“Relax Nick. Day at a time.”

“Alright, let’s ice you down.” Jonathan put a bag of ice
under my back and strapped my legs in the ice packs. “You need to get your cast back on if you’re moving around.” He scolded Allayna who was standing, using her crutches.

“I’ll be back,” she told me and went over to the side of the room where her stuff was. Jonathan followed her.

“You think he’ll be able to walk one day?” Allayna asked Jonathan in all seriousness. She hopped onto the table and brought her leg up gingerly.

“As long as he has the right attitude anything can happen. Your ankle looks a bit less swollen. Stay off it as much as you can. We will do the same thing the next few days when you come in with Nick.” He helped her strap it in.

“Thank you. For everything.” Allayna smiled and swung her legs over the table. Jonathan handed her the crutches.

“If you need anything and aren’t able to come in, here is my card. It has my cell on it. You can call or text me anytime.” He handed her the white card, she looked at, said thank you and slipped it in her purse. She draped her purse around her shoulder.

“Would you mind helping me get Nick in the car. I have a feeling he’s going to need more help.”

“Of course.” They made their way back to me. “Okay Nick. Let’s get you sitting up.”

“Is that safe?” I asked as Jonathan removed the ice.

“We’ll go slow.” It wasn’t until that moment, I realized how much I hated being useless; I mean I had this tall, dark handsome dude helping me move and I was pretty sure he’s been hitting on my best friend. “How are you doing?” He asked once I was in my upright position.

“Shakey.”

“I’ve got ya.” Allayna stood on my other side, and Jonathan helped me into my chair. I was surprised when he pushed me out to the car, but I suppose I shouldn’t have been considering Allayna’s condition and what just happened. Once I was in the car, he followed Allayna to the driver’s side. He helped her in, took the crutches and put them in the back seat.

“Thank you again. We’ll see you ten am tomorrow?” She said.

“You got it. Take care.” He shut the door and walked back into the office. I just stared at Allayna.

“What?” She asked starting the car.

“You tell me.”

“Tell you what weirdo?” She laughed and began to pull
out of the parking spot.

“What’s going on with you and Jonathan?”

“Really Nick?”

“He just seems to be into you, and I’m pretty sure, well,
I think you were trying to flirt back. But you’re not very good at it.”

“Please.”

“He seemed very interested in you today.”

“Because I have a sprained ankle. He was helping.”

“Uh huh.”

“Ugh. Come on, I’m hungry.” And we headed home.
I was thankful for the short trip home. I was in need of my pain killers. Desperately. When Allayna pulled in, I wasn’t sure how much more I was going to last before the pain had me passed out again.

“You don’t look so good Nick.” Allayna noticed as she opened my door. I hadn’t even unbuckled my seatbelt yet.
“I need to lay down.” I could fee sweat beads forming on my forehead.

“Well, unbuckle your seat belt so we can get you inside.” She waited for me to move and when I didn’t, she reached in and did it for me. Slipping the belt over my head, she then felt for my pulse. “It’s normal.” She said, I think more for herself. “Nick you have to help me. Put your arm around me.” I lifted my right arm up, she put it around her neck. Her right arm slid under my legs, and I could tell she was trying to balance on leg.

“Ah wait.” I had started to push off my left arm and the pain in lower half started up. I tried to focus on my breathing.

“On two Nick. One-two-,” she dragged me over to my chair and then she let the F bomb go. She was now standing, her head on the roof. “Dammit.”

“What?” I asked trying to adjust myself and figure out what just happened.

“I stepped on my foot. I’m fine.”

“Sorry.” I said guilty.

“It’s okay.” She picked her crutches up that were leaning against the car and as I started to wheel myself to the front, that caused my more pain and my back seized.

“Allayna,” my head dropped backwards and I pushed off my seat a bit, to try to rid the immense tightness.

“Nick maybe we should get some help.”

“I just need,” I took a breath. “I just need to lay down. It got worse when I started to move.”

“Hold these.” She put her crutches on my lap and she began to push me.

“You shouldn’t be walking on your ankle.”

“Well how else are we supposed to get inside?” She pushed me slowly, keeping the majority of her weight on my handle bars and her good leg. Once inside, she brought me to my room. She pushed me near my bed and I knew I had to help more, no matter what. I could tell she was in a lot of pain but wouldn’t say much.

I put my hands on the bed and as I pushed up, she picked my legs up and as soon as I was flat, it felt a lot better.

“Can you hand me my pills and water right there.” I pointed to my night stand. She took out the two pills, I took both with the water and she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe we should call AJ or Lee to come this week to help. Especially if you’re going to be working on standing more. I just can’t. I thought I could but I physically can’t with my ankle. I’m sorry.” She let out a sigh of defeat.

“I’ll text him in a little bit. Lay down with me and get your leg up.” She crawled over me, grabbed a pillow, put it under her leg and laid down.

I was sitting outside, watching the sunset, guitar in lap, glass of wine on a table and imagining that everything was normal. Normal. Was anything ever normal? Okay, I suppose I was just imagining that I was able to walk on my own, that I could fast forward to the future and be okay or rewind the past and not be in the spot when the light fell. If I changed the past thought, it may have been one of the other fellas. Hmm, okay, I’d do it all again and fast forward.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Allayna was sitting next to me, reading a book, sipping on her glass of red. A couple of weeks had passed and the longing to be next to her was something I couldn’t explain.

“Just thinking.”

“I know. That’s why I said penny for your thoughts,” she laughed lightly and took another sip.

“You say everything happens for a reason but I still haven’t found this reason yet.”

“You will, when you’re not expecting it.” She smiled, now gazing out into the horizon with me. She had the boot off her ankle, but still had to wear a smaller brace to help stability. She still did work with Jonathan when I went to my therapy to help strengthen it back up.

“Hmm,” I strummed a few lazy chords.

“You going to sing for me?” She asked, now looking over at me. I looked at her and rose an eye brow. “I haven’t heard you sing since before the accident.”

“I’m just not feeling it.” I shrugged and put the guitar down and picked up my wine. “Let’s go out.”

“Go out?”

“Yeah, it’s a Saturday night. It’s warm. We’re young and beautiful. Let’s go out. I’ll call a cab, we’ll get some drinks, some dancing.”

“Oh we will?”

“Yes. Now go get ready. I am taking you on a date.”

An hour later, we were sitting outside this bar and grill, which was actually fancier than it sounds. There were white lights strewn across trees, people were walking around outside, wearing nice clothes.

“This was a good idea Nick,” Allayna smiled taking a sip of her now white wine.

“I know.” I smirked and took a sip of my wine. “You look amazing tonight,” I complemented her and meant it. She had a black silk romper, wore a pair of flat sandals, complained about having to wear flats because of her ankle, but she looked beautiful. Her hair was down and there was a light wave to it. Her skin was tan from being outside a lot, and there was a bronze glow to her cheeks.

“Well Carter, I must say you clean up yourself.” She held her glass up to click with mine. I had on a pair of black slacks, a short sleeve black V neck shirt and I put light gel in my hair to keep it from falling in my eyes all night.

“Why don’t we do this more often?”

“Because it’s a lot of work.” She spat out and then put her hand over her mouth. “Eh, I didn’t mean it like that Nick. I’m sorry.”

I chuckled and took a sip. Leave it Allayna to always be blunt an honest. “It’s true.” I agreed. “Hopefully soon enough. I can now stand in that standing thing at PT without passing out, I can move feet and hopefully soon enough, I’ll be walking.”

“Let’s drink to that,” She held her glass up again. We continued to talk about little things and how we had plans to go visit Brian in Georgia next week. That would be a good mix to my boring routine. Our first bottle of wine emptied fast and were half way through our second by the time we finished our meal.

Salsa music was playing in the background, there were couples dancing outside and I saw Allayna’s eyes dance along.

“Want to dance?” I asked.

“Would love to,” she finished the wine in her glass and stood up. Her cheeks were flushed, and I could tell she was feeling the alcohol. She seemed more relax and a smile stayed put on her full lips.

I wheeled out to the floor, she took my hand and we somehow mimicked some salsa. Half way through the song as she stepped forward, she let out a small cry and was in my lap the next thing I knew. Our faces were inches apart, I could smell the sweet wine on lips with a mix of her perfume.

“Sorry,” she whispered, breathing heavily. “My ankle gave out on me.”

“Are you okay?” I whispered back. I wasn’t sure why we were whispering or why my heartbeat had picked up when she spoke.

“Yeah. Maybe I should’ve worn the brace.” Our eyes stayed locked with each other.

“See now that’s love,” I heard a random woman tell her husband as they danced passed us.

The feelings I had been feeling for the past month all came flooding back, the moment Allayna's face was inches away from mine. It was at that moment I wanted to do nothing but kiss her. My heart raced and her eyes sparkled with excitement, or maybe it was uncertainty. And as we leaned forward, our lips getting closer and closer, my chair was pushed into and we hit heads.

"Oh my goodness, excuse me. I wasn't watching where I was going," a woman in her fifties apologized. Allayna cleared her throat and hopped off my lap.

"No problem." She smiled but realized she had also taken my hand as she stood.

"Do you want to head back home, go in the hot tub and maybe open another bottle; perhaps make some dessert?" I asked.

"That sounds perfect." With that, she pushed me, I took my phone out and sent out for an Uber. We went to the table, where I paid the bill and we walked out the busy sidewalk. A minute later our Uber was there and we got in. The ride was quiet, but we held hands; enjoying the effects the of the alcohol and I didn't want to sober up anytime soon.

Once inside, we both went into our rooms to change into our bathing suits. She was done before me, and had already poured red wine into two glasses. Towels lay on the table and she was playing with the music to turn on outside.

I sat there watching her move her hips to the music, sporting her black bikini; showing off her perfect body. I moved up to her, and pulled her in my lap.

"Did you really put Backstreet on Pandora?" I asked.

"Well, you won't sing for me." She pouted and was singing to 'I Want It That Way.' I joined in with her when my part came on. We laughed and at the end of the song she got up; took our glasses ,handed me the bottle because she said we'd need it; and we went outside.

The moon was high, and for the first time in a long time; everything was perfect.

"This button here?" She asked to make sure she was turning on the right one.

"Yeah, but getting in and out of this thing is going to be rough." I said, looking at the two steps.

"Just use your muscles," she smiled and handed me my glass. "How long to warm up?"

"Not long. Just another minute." She continued to dance around, I forgot how much she love dancing; and sang to Brittney Spears, 'Crazy.' "You're going to regret all that moving around tomorrow."

"What are you talking about?" She whirled around and took a sip of her wine.

"Your ankle." I pointed out.

"You worry too much. Come on its warm." She checked the water. I sat on the step from my chair and had to pull myself up to the ledge of the hot tub. As I picked up my legs to dangle in the water, I caught Allayna watching me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Your upper body has some gains," she nodded, raising an eye brow.

"Yeah in fat."

"No. I'm serious. You're getting cut and big." She stepped up and slid into the tub. Setting the wine glasses down on the tray next to us; she helped me slide in.

"Okay problem with not being able to use legs is I can't stop from floating." I laughed and bumped into Allayna.

"I've got you." She put her arm around my waist, and entangled her legs around mine. And then it happened again, we were caught in each other's eyes. Afraid of losing the moment to something happening, I was going to go for it and take the chance. Or, at least I thought I was. Allayna had already leaned forward and our lips finally met.

It was slow, and feelings in my legs and body I didn't think would ever show up again, ran through me like electricity. We pulled away a little, both searching in each other's eyes to see if we should continue and I then leaned in to kiss her again.

My arms enclosed around her fit waist, and the kiss became deeper. When we finally pulled away we were both breathing quicker and I was pretty sure I had a stupid grin smacked on me.

"Nick we're best friends." She spoke the words I wasn't ready to hear.

"So what. Don't think. We won't make this a big deal. Let's just go with it." I searched her face to see if she were regretting the kiss. "It feels right doesn't it?" She answered by leaning in and kissing me.
We continued to kiss and make out like a couple of high scholars for a few more minutes and at some point it came to me where it could possibly go if I didn’t stop right then.

“What is it?” She asked when I pulled away.

“I still feel like this is all right. But, I don’t want it to go somewhere, leading to sex, with us being more than a bit tipsy. I want this to be real and if it is, if my feelings are right; it will happen without any alcohol in our systems.” She tilted her head, bit her lip and let out a sigh, her arms wrapped around my neck.

“You’re right. And that was probably one of the most mature things I’ve heard you say Carter.” She laughed lightly.

“Really now?” I pulled her into me a little closer.

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“So, do you want to go make some brownies and finish this bottle of wine? I’m all pruned up.” She pulled away with a look of disgust. “My hands!” I held them up to shower her and she laughed.

“Alright.” She got out, helped me out and we dried off before going back inside.

“Allayna.”

“Hmm?” She wrapped a towel around her body.

“I don’t think I’ve told you enough of how beautiful you are.” She pulled the towel around her tighter, showing a side of self-conscious I wasn’t used to seeing from her.

“Come on Romeo.” She rolled her eyes. And just as quick as it came, the self-conscious left and my best friend was back. We started back inside and I could tell already her ankle was bothering her. She was limping as we went into our rooms to get out of our wet suits. I actually was faster than her this time, and turned on the fire in the living room.

“I was thinking the same thing,” she came out. Her hair was still up in messy bun she put in before going in the tub, she wore a pair of black ankle leggings and loose off the shoulder long sleeve black shirt.

"I forgot how much you can drink," I laughed as Allayna poured another glass of wine. In nowhere near were we sober, but surprisingly we weren't belligerent.

"And you need a refill," she poured my glass and then proceeded to the cupboard. "We have a problem."

"What's that?"

"We do not have any sort of junk food."

"That's what you get for being a fitness junkie. Actually, we have dark chocolate chips and strawberries. Melt the chocolate."

"Oo. I like your thinking!" She opened another cupboard, took the dark chocolate chips out and poured them into a bowl. She tossed it in the microwave for two minutes took out the strawberries from the refrigerator.

"I am changing the music." I told her. "I'm sick of listening to boy bands."

"Okay, put some Breaking Benjamin on."

"Really? I thought we were having a romantic night."

"What's not romantic about Breaking Ben?" She finished washing the berries and took the chocolate out placing everything on the table.

"Silly me." I rolled my eyes and put this music on Imagine Dragons, so at least we would get a mix of some rock and some softer alternative.

"Here," she held a chocolate strawberry up to lips and took a bite.

"Now, that's good."

"How about this one?" She then took her hand that was from behind her back and shoved a huge berry, with a lot of chocolate in, or should I say on my mouth and face. Giggling she backed up.

"Is that how you want to play?" I licked the corner of my mouth. I then started after her and she ran around out to the living room. The cat and mouse game lasted a couple minutes until I found my water gun on the floor next to the sliding glass door that led to the pool. She didn't see me pick it up and I squirted. She squealed and ran back into the kitchen.

"You know I could be completely mean, and get a bucket of water and have you soaked," she pointed out reaching for a large bowl and turning on the faucet.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I wouldn't?"

"Well, YOU would. But this other version, of sweet and caring Allayna I kn-" And then the water was dumped over my head. She burst out laughing. "You're dead," I wheeled toward her, she turned quick to get away but slipped on the water.

She was still laughing on the floor, so I knew she was okay. "Karma." I said and reached my hand out to help her up while I was laughing pretty hard myself. She grabbed my hand and then reached her other arm out, pulling me out of my chair onto the floor with her.

We sat there laughing which seemed to be forever and I didn't want to the moment to stop. Vanessa and I never played like this and who is to say you need to stop playing and acting like kids the older you get?

Unfortunately the moment did stop when Allayna realized she couldn't catch her breath.

"It's after midnight. You usually take your neb medicine at nine." She nodded, her hands over her chest as though that would help the wheezing and coughing stop. "Come on." She pushed my chair near me, put the breaks on and helped me into it all while coughing her lungs out.

Since being on her new medicine, she hasn't had any real attacks and I was hoping it was just because she was late on taking it. I followed her into her room, where she turned it on, filled the tube up with the prescription and put it over her face.

"Sorry," she said lifting the mask up.

"Shh. Don't be silly. Lay flat so you can open your airway." As she did, I picked her hand up in mine and sat there with her for the next ten minutes until everything had settled.

"Buzz kill huh?" She asked taking the mask off and looking over at me.

"It was worth it, no?"

"Totally." She smiled.

"I'm going to go change into DRY clothes, since someone soaked me. Want to sleep in my room tonight? My bed is way more comfy."

"Sounds good, let me wash up." She started to sit up, but laid back down right away. "Okay, in a minute." Her eyes closed.

"Take your time." The asthma attack, the wine and the fact it was one am I'm sure made her tired. I left her room and went into mine; replaying the entire night in my head and I was happy.