March 15, 2006

“Law do you think this is a good idea?” I asked, as we got to hers and her boyfriends house they shared.

“Of course I do Lay. He’s more than happy to have you here.” She said with a bright smile. I nodded and bit my lip.

“Okay, if you say so.” I said, getting out of her car and following her to the front door. She looked one more and smiled before pushing the door open.

“Nick we’re here!” She exclaimed, as the sound of pots and pans clinging together. She looked at me and nodded for me to follow, as demanded, I did. “Babe just stop, we’ll handle this.” She laughed as Nick looked at me and gaped.

“You’re the girl from the pictures.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “What pictures?”

“The dreams Bone has. You’re her.” He said, tilting his head to the right, “The pictures doesn’t do you justice though, You are fucking gorgeous.”

“Down boy, that’s my cousin you’re talking about.” Lauren said, making Nick laugh.

“Sorry, I’m Nick, Lauren’s wonderful boyfriend.” He said with a bright smile, extending his hand. I looked at his hand, furrowing my eyebrows. He gave me a sad look, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.

“I don’t shake hands, I’m more of a hugger. It’s nice to meet the man that makes my big cousin happy. I’m Madalay.” I said with a smile. He grinned, as I pulled away and took Lauren in his arms.

“Is your last name Ramirez by chance?” He asked, making me want answers to all the questions. I looked at Lauren, who was confused.

“Yeah… why? How do you know me?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I’ve heard of you, you’re really big on the East Coast.” He said, saving his own ass. I shook the thought of maybe it was something else.

“Oh wow, I made it to the West Coast. That’s pretty impressive.” I said with a smile, “Can I help cook? I promise no junk and grease, all healthy.”

“You don’t have to cook, Lay.” Lauren said as the doorbell rang, “I’ll get it while you two talk.” She smiled, leaning up and kissing Nick before she walked out the kitchen. I noticed Nick was staring at me.

“Is there something on my face?” I asked in a panic. He shook his daze and smiled.

“No so, tell me about yourself.” He said, leaning against the bar. “Would you like anything to drink?”

“No thank you, I appreciate the offer.” I said, “I’m 26 and from West Palm Beach Florida; I’m Cuban, Indian, German and Latin. I’m a well-known dancer, as well as a tattoo artist and producer. Three of four of my dance classes won America’s Best Dance Crew. I have two dance studios in Florida, I have three tattoo shops, one of which is in Statesboro, Georgia, while the others are in Jacksonville and one back home. I’m talking to Chris Nunez about going in with him at the one in Miami. Ami and I talked a while back when he sold it to Chris. He asked if I wanted to take it on, but I declined. I love music, I love making new beats—I love the drums, guitar and piano the most.”

“Wow, and you’re only 26?” He asked astonished. I nodded, “Who all have you produced?”

“Pink, Train, Kid Rock, Neyo, Guns N’ Roses, Avenged Sevenfold, Black Crowes, My Chemical Romance, T.I., Goo Goo Dolls, Snow Patrol, Brian Littrell, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nelly, Lacuna Coil, Good Charlotte, those are just to name a few to give you a jist.

“Brian Littrell?” He wondered, biting his lip.

“Yeah, such an amazing artist, beautiful voice, beautiful family, such a sweetheart.” I said with a bright smile. “I felt like I made a lifelong friend with him and his wife. Great people.”

“You sing and play?” He asked, I nodded. “Come.” He said, pulling me behind him into a den where a baby grand stood. “Play.”

“Do you mind?” I asked to make sure, he pushed me playfully to it. I popped my fingers and sat, taking a deep breath before I let my fingers dance over the ivory laced keys.

Here we are, Seven days and seven nights of empty tries. It's rituals, habitual. But it's never gonna work this time. We're to the point of no return, and along the way, The only thing we've learned, Is how to hurt each other.

I sang, getting into the beat. I knew how I wanted the song to go, but I couldn’t quite finish the beats.

I'm looking back and wondering why, It took so long to realize, That nothing's changed, it never will, All these years of standing still, And still we stay, in all this pain, And nothing's going to make it go away, yeah.

I sang nodding my head to the beat, I took a deep breath before the chorus.

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery. I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be. No, you wouldn't have to lie to me, If you would only let me go. And I don't want to wait another minute to hear, It's something that I already know. I know, I know, I know, It's something that I already know, I know, I know, I know.

I sang, playing for a short second before I went back into a new verse.

So save your voice, don't waste your breath, Can't you see we're at the end, And this goodbye, if it's permanent, So wish me well, try to forget. And all the fights and all the ways, We almost made it but we never did, And it's finally come to this.

My body swayed to the music as I went into the chorus:

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery, I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be, No, you wouldn't have to lie to me, If you would only let me go, And I don't want to wait another minute to hear, Something that I already know.

We cannot hide what we've become, So sick inside, convenient, oh, It's done, it's done, it's done

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery, I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be, No, you wouldn't have to lie to me,

If you would only let me go, I don't want to wait another minute to hear.Something that I already know. I know, I know, I know, Something that I already know, Yes, I know, I know, I know.

I sang my heart out on the chorus and the bridge, I started slowing down:

Something that I already know, I know, I know, I know, I know, yes, I know.

I turned and looked at Nick, noticing that Lauren was right beside him. I stood up and straightened my shirt out, walking over to them. Nick started clapping and smiling.

“That was beautiful, Lay.” He said in awe. I nodded and thanked him.

“Thank you. That was a lot of years built up. One of the guys I was helping produce needed a song to present to his buddies that he’s in a band together with—he wanted feelings, and I don’t think you can get anymore feelings than that.” I said, as Lauren wrapped her arm around my shoulders and kissed my head.

“Well, AJ is here already, just pulled up actually as well as Howie and Leigh.” Lauren said, as the three of us walked back into the kitchen. “I’m gonna go open the door for them.” She said leaving us once again alone.

“You are very talented, gorgeous on the outside, gorgeous voice, everything is amazing.” He said, looking down at me. “Tell me more?”

“Thank you. I haven’t had the best growing up. I had a best friend when I was younger, he left me—he told me he wouldn’t ever do that, but he did. The last time I talked to him was when my dad left me alone in the house by myself. I called him and he said I needed to grow up, and that I needed to stop depending on him so much. Pretty much there was no room in his life for me anymore. My dad never came back.” I spilled to him, I thought since he got to me talk as easily as I did, I could confide in him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry for asking. Please don’t think bad of me, Lay.” He pled, I shook my head and smiled.

“It’s fine Nick, you didn’t know. It’s not a big deal.” I said, hearing Lauren calling for us to come into the foyer where she was.

“You’re my new best friend, you know that right?” He asked, making me shake my head as we walked to Lauren. I stopped in my tracks and saw the one guy to ever have my heart and then crush it.

“Al.” I whispered, watching him gape.

“Al? No, Lay, this is AJ.” Lauren said with a light laugh. Obviously she didn’t know about previous engagements.

“Mada, it’s really you.” AJ said walking towards me. I felt the hot tears well in my eyes, as he got closer, my fists would clench and unclench themselves repeatedly. Before I knew it, my hand flew up and across his face, forcing his face to turn to the right.

“I hate you.” I seethed, turning and looking at Nick for help; he stood there not really knowing what to do. I stormed through the foyer, finding a hall that lead to the backyard. I quickly walked outside, seeing a cabana under a palm tree. I walked in it and sat on the bed that Nick had in there. Tears rolled down my cheeks heavily, I wiped them away as they fell.

All the feelings for Alex came back from childhood. How could I be so dumb? How couldn’t I remember Brian Littrell and Nick? They were both in the same band as AJ, why didn’t that register? I felt someone walk up to the cabana, lightly tapping on the material. I dried my face quickly, muttering a ‘come in’.

Nick.

“Are you okay sweetie?” He asked, taking a seat to my left. I shook my head and dropped my head in my hands. “The guy you told me about…” He paused, “That guy is AJ, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” I started, “Yeah, it’s him. I didn’t even put two and two together Nick. I didn’t even think about Brian or you being in Backstreet Boys. I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, don’t do that. You’re not stupid. You’re around recording artists all the time, you treat them like normal people, which we are.” He coincided, making me nod. “I’m the most normal of all.” He chuckled, making me laugh lightly.

“I’m sorry if I made you or Lauren mad. I didn’t mean to slap him, I didn’t even know that happened.” I apologized, “I,” I paused for a moment, “I don’t know if I could ever forgive him. The right thing would be to do just that, but right now, it doesn’t feel right to even attempt to think about that.”

“Slow down, no one is mad, okay?” He asked, I nodded, “As for forgiving him, you don’t have to just yet. I understand how you’re feeling completely, and you can always come to me and talk. He’s not mad either, he said he deserved it, and that it went better than what he thought at the moment. You have all right to lash out like you did, he said the same thing.”

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I made it ten years without him, and then seeing him brought all those love and hate feelings back. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” I said, laying back on the bed.

“My mom would’ve been so upset with my actions just then. It’s bad that when my dad left, no one was there for me but his mom, Denise. I heard him on the phone with her one night and he said he was happy to be away from me, said I was clingy and he wanted me gone by the time he got back.”

“What?” He asked, I nodded.

“Yeah, Denise told him that it was her house not his, and he didn’t have to say the things he said to me either. She was very upset with him.” I said, sighing loudly.

“What did you do then?” He asked, looking down at me.

“The day I turned 18, I was gone. I talked to her, made her promise to read the note I wrote to her after I was gone.” I stated, “I didn’t want to cause problems between him and her. I felt like I did that enough already.”

“Well, your past was a series of unfortunate events, and I’m happy that you’re here.” He said, as I sat up to hug him.

“I appreciate it. I’ll keep civil while I’m here, I promise, I don’t want to corrupt any plans.” I said, as I laid my head on his shoulder.

“You wont, I promise. We’re going to have fun, even though yal’s past isn’t the best, okay? Put that beautiful smile back on that gorgeous face, and lets grab this by the balls.” He said, standing up with me in his arms. I giggled and nodded.

“Thank you Nick.”

“It’s not a problem, Lay. Thank you for talking to me.” He said with a smile. I nodded as my feet touched the ground. We walked out of the cabana and headed back to his house. Once we got in, I heard more voices than just AJ and Lauren’s. Three of which that sounded very familiar.

“Oh, Lay this is—“ Lauren started, but Baylee beat her to it.

“Lay!” He exclaimed, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. I bent down, sitting on my legs as he wrapped his arms around my neck, and his legs around my hips.

“Bay!” I exclaimed, standing up and twirling around, making him laugh. “I’ve missed you little man!”

“I’ve missed you Lay!” He said, kissing my cheek. My heart warmed, pushing all the feelings I had for AJ at the moment to the side.

“I’m so happy to see you.” Leighanne said, wrapping her arms around Baylee and I. I kissed her cheek as she kissed my head. “God, it’s been long.”

“You missed me that much Leigh? It’s only been three weeks.” I said, as she stuck her tongue out.

“I know, but I missed our girl time.” She said, as Baylee wiggled out my arms and ran into the living room.

“Where’s my hug?” Brian asked, pouting playfully. I rolled my eyes as Leighanne pushed me to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up twirling us around. “Good to see this gorgeous face again. I have to say I’m with Baylee and Leigh, I’ve missed you as well.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Bri.” I said, kissing his cheek. My feet touched the floor, the doorbell sounded again; Lauren and AJ excused their selves.

“Okay, something happened, you’re not all bright eyed and bushy tailed like normal.” Leighanne pointed out.

“You remember the song I wrote? The one about seven days and seven nights?” I asked, looking at her. She nodded, “Well, the story I told you as well… that’s AJ.”

“Oh no! How could he?” She wondered, wrapping her arms around me.

“She slapped the shit out of him.” Nick added, making Brian look at me, gaping. I shrugged and bit my lip.

“I didn’t mean to, I promise.” I said, as Lauren and AJ walked back in with Howie, Leigh, Kevin and a pregnant Kristin.

“Do you know them, too?” Lauren asked with a laugh. I nodded and walked to each one, hugging them tightly. “You know everyone then, jeez just take the fun out of everything.”

“I didn’t know Nick.” I said, laughing lightly.

“True, so, pool time?” She wondered, everyone looked between the others and nodded. “Okay, ladies, lets go.” Kristin, Leighanne, Leigh, Lauren and I walked upstairs and changed into our suits. I looked in the mirror, not really liking what I saw. I grabbed my iPhone and walked downstairs, seeing I was the only one in the house. I heard the piano being played and a beautiful, deep, voice singing out. I walked to the door and saw AJ sitting at the piano, he was playing and looking up towards the ceiling.

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that?

As he sang, the feelings came back. I missed him, but yet, I hated him with a passion. How dare he treat me the way he did, after everything I did for him. I supported him in more ways that physically.

No matter how I fight it, Can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you. Like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

Those lyrics tore into my heart with a vengeance. I bit my lip, as he played a beautiful melody across the ivory keys.

Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last, to last. I try to fight it, can't deny it. You don't even know. That I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you, whoah oh.

I felt someone come up behind me. They placed a hand on my left shoulder, I brought my right hand up and placed it over theirs. Brian. With my free hand, I wiped away the tears that had fell.

I wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I, will never let you go, oh. Though everything's been said and done, yeah. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

I watched as the grown man I once loved take a deep breath and let out a sob; my heart broke. Hearing him crying made me think back to when his dad walked out on him and Denise. The night it happened, I never thought Alex would smile again. I never thought I would see him with a dry face.

I started to go in, but Brian stopped me. He wrapped his arms around me, letting me cry in his shoulder. He swayed us back and forth, being in his arms made me feel safer than ever. His aurora was strong, protective and loving. Brian was my best friend, regardless.

“Come on, let’s go out back.” He whispered, I nodded, hearing Alex cry out more. Brian and I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the cooler. He and I walked outside and saw that the girls was out already.

I looked at Leighanne, who immediately stood up and quickly ran to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “I heard, I remember when he wrote that song. He told me it was for a woman who always had his heart, he was going to find her and make things right.”

“I don’t know what to say Leigh.” I whispered, wiping my eyes. I grabbed my black Ray Ban aviators and put them on. She pulled me to the pool and grabbed my shirt, pulling it off of me. I shook my head and laughed, undoing my shorts and sliding them off. I folded them and my shirt, and sat them in an empty patio chair.

“Who can start a grill?” Nick asked, looking around. I furrowed my eyebrows and gaped.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked, walking up to him as he grabbed the charcoal. I shook my head and opened the grill top, and pulling up the grated racks, so I could add the charcoal. After adding it, I put the racks back in and brushed them off with the metal brush. Once I was finished, I grabbed my lighter, lighter fluid and a piece of paper towel. I lit the paper towel and dropped it onto the coals. I, then, grabbed the lighter fluid and poured it in various spaces, watching the fire come to life. I put the lid of the grill back down and turned to him. “That’s how you do it. Don’t mess with it, the coals have to burn for a while.”

“Fucking Wonder Woman I’m dealing with.” He crossed his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes, making me laugh. “Please teach me more.”

I walked towards him as he walked backwards into the pool. Everyone broke out into a fit of laughter, including Baylee. I doubled over, the tears coming back down my eyes. The look on his face when he was falling back was priceless.

“Oh my god.” I said loudly as I laughed. He started pouted, which made me laugh harder, “Law, do something with your man.” I said, waving my hand towards him. She giggled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. He smiled and pressed a kiss against her lips, which warmed my heart.

“Lay get in!” Baylee pled, making me smile. I walked to the shallow end stairs and stepped into the pool, sitting on the bottom step. He moved on my lap and laid his head on my shoulder. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him. “My Lay.”

"My Bay," I whispered, closing my eyes before I started humming the melody of Tony Rich Project's Nobody Knows. I heard the door close behind us, I looked over my shoulder and saw Alex walking out with a white wife beater and a pair of black swimming shorts. Once he got closer to the pool, he discarded his wife beater and laid them by my folded clothes. He walked to the deep end of the pool and dove in, resurfacing in minutes. I watched his interaction with Howie-- he was sad, he wasn't normal... or well the old Alex I knew.

“Lay, babe, you okay?” Kristin asked, moving closer to Baylee and me. I smiled at her and nodded.

“I’m good Kris, thanks for asking. How was yours and Kev’s trip?” I asked, turning towards her.

“Long,” She started, I giggled and nodded, “But not as long as yours. How’s the businesses going?”

“Ah, they’re going good actually. Always busy, so that’s the best thing. I’m thinking about opening another tattoo shop, possibly out here. I have a couple of people that called from LA about looking for a new owner.” I said, feeling Baylee stir against me.

“That’s amazing babe. You have turned into such an amazing woman.” She said with a big smile.

“Awh, Kris.” I said, wrapping one arm around her, hugging her lovingly. “That means so much to me. I’m so happy you’re in my life.”

“Me, too, babe.” She said, as AJ called about the grill being ready. I stood up and grabbed a towel, putting it around Baylee. I laid him on the patio bed that was in the shade. I wrapped the towel around me, and asked Nick where the food was. He said the steaks were in the fridge, and that I could fix whatever I wanted.

I walked inside and found the steaks in the refrigerator; I started seasoning and marinating them. I counted out enough for everyone to have a second serving. I heard someone come in the back door, and into the kitchen. I turned and saw AJ.

“Can we talk?” He wondered, opening the fridge and grabbing a water.

“What could there possibly be for us to talk about?” I questioned, before he started talking, “Grab the stuff for salad, the bacon, mushrooms, lil’ smokies, bell pepper and cream cheese will ya?” I asked looking over my shoulder. I heard him sigh while he opened the fridge again, grabbing ingredients for a salad, the pepper bacon wraps, and the mushroom bacon wraps. “Thanks.” I said, handing him the steaks.

He furrowed his eyebrows, but complied taking the steaks from me and walking outside. I exhaled heavily, as I cut the peppers open to deseed them. After finishing the peppers, I cut them into small logs, put cream cheese on them. I drained the lil smokies, and placed one on each slice of pepper and cream cheese then wrapping them in bacon. I put a toothpick through them so they would stay together.

I washed my hands and started on the mushrooms. I wrapped them in bacon, and placed them on a tray with the lil smokies and peppers. I turned with the tray and ran into AJ, luckily nothing fell, thank God. “Excuse me.” I said, not looking at him. I walked around him and out to the grill. I put the bacon wrapped mushrooms and lil smokies and peppers on the aluminum I had on the top rack, then closed the top.

“Whatcha cookin’ good lookin?” I heard Howie ask from behind me.

“Hey D, well, it appears to be a certain persons favorite food.” I said, showing him. His lips curled into a smile, as he wrapped his arms around me and picked me up! “Yes my Latina mix, yes! Wife! Wife! Guess what Lay fixed us!”

“What?” She wondered, perking up.

“Smokies and peppers!” He exclaimed, as she got out the pool in a hurry and wrapped her arms around Howie, jumping up and down. I giggled and watched as they walked backwards and fell into the pool. I laughed, watching the two of them in such a love like that. One love I could only hope for, but luck hasn’t been too much on my side.

I flipped the steaks, and made sure the others wasn’t burning. I heard a woman’s voice who I didn’t know of. I looked to my right and saw AJ coming out with a brunette woman. I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded to myself, looking in my bag for a cigarette. I grabbed one and lit it quickly, taking in the toxins.

“Hey Kaci.” I heard AJ call, “Think you can grab the jug of sweet tea from the fridge?”

“Oh sure, be right back.” She said, leaning up and kissing him. I chuckled, and walked to the patio chair that was beside Baylee. He was still passed out, bless his heart.

“What are your plans for tomorrow Lay?” Leighanne asked, pulling my glance from Baylee.

“I have to go into Hollywood tomorrow and meet with a band I’m supposed to be producing.” I said, with a small smile. She nodded and grinned.

“Do you know who the band is?” She wondered, I shook my head.

“No, Gary didn’t tell me.” I said solemnly, before I stood up and took the last drag of my cigarette. I walked out to the shoreline of the beach and breathed in the salt water. I threw my cigarette butt into the ocean and turned around, seeing AJ standing there, “Yes?”

“Can we please talk? I have a lot of explaining to do.” He said, his eyes full of honesty.

“Sure, why not. It’s not like it’s going to change anything, Alexander.” I deadpanned, walking past him. He sighed, and caught up beside me.

“What happened back then was something I wish never happened.” He started, “I—You need to know how sorry I am. I know I hurt you a lot, it’s something that I really wished I didn’t do. I’m sorry.”

I rolled my eyes, “No you’re not, Alexander. You could care less now just like you did back then. To put salt on the wound, did you know that the night I called you about dad leaving, he never came back? Did you know I lived with your mama and Tony until I turned 18?” I asked, looking at him.

“He left?” He asked, making me nod.

“He did, funny enough it’s just like everyone else.” I said, lighting a cigarette. “He left, you left, mom left, all I had was Denise and Tony, and I thank God each day for them.”

“I can’t believe that.” He whispered, his face contorting in a hurtful expression. “Mom didn’t even tell me.”

“I asked her not to. I wanted nothing to do with you, at all. I even hated to have to lean on Denise and Tony for help, but I had no one… not even my best friend who promised he’d always be there and never leave me behind.” I said, taking a drag of my cigarette.

“Mada please.” He whispered, stopping me. I shook my head, brushing his hand off my arm.

“What’s done is done. Even you wanted me out of your life, I still had a little bit of hope that you’d come back. Even if you didn’t want me in your life, I was still there—you saw me at Gram’s funeral and still didn’t speak, but that was okay. I really and truly didn’t expect anything from you, it just sealed the deal pretty much.” I said, walking back to the grill leaving him to take in the information.

“You okay Lay?” Kevin asked, wrapping his arm around my neck. I nodded and smiled, taking up the two makeshift aluminum foil tray I created that had the lil smokies and peppers, and the bacon wrapped mushrooms. I sat them in the pan, then checked the steaks. Once they were ready, I took them up and placed them in the pan as well.

“Food is ready!” I exclaimed, looking up at Kevin, who just smiled.

“Great, I’ll take that in for you. You finish your cigarette, we need to talk later as well.” He said, kissing my head. I nodded and watched him walk off. I closed the grill lid and walked to the chair that my clothes were in. I sat down, crossing my right leg over my left. I sighed heavily and took a drag.

“You coming in sweetie?” I heard Lauren ask from the backdoor. I looked at her and nodded, holding my cigarette up. She grinned and closed the door. I looked and saw AJ still outside. He was sitting on the diving board, with his head down.

I watched from far away the man that had broken my heart, fall apart. His body shook, he tried to be discreet about crying, but he wasn’t. I watched as he wiped under his eyes, I felt hot tears brimming mine as well. Even though I had so much hatred built up, the site broke my heart.

I bit my lip and stood up, before I could even acknowledge what was happening I was sitting behind him, my arms around his waist, my left cheek on the middle of his back. Why was I even in this position, why did I put myself in this position?

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered through his tears, his voice broke with every word. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I pushed away the one person that I had in my life that meant the world to me.” He placed his hand on my right one, squeezing it. “I have fucked up in more ways than one. Every problem I ever encountered was from the guilt that ate me alive each day. Everything I done to you, every word I said back then was permanently embedded in my mind.” He paused, “How could I have been so cruel to the one girl who was always there for me? I’m so ashamed of myself.”

“Problems?” I asked, “Alex what problems have you encountered from the guilt?”

“Every kind you can think of. Every single one stemmed from that night. When my counselor told me that the best way to deal with problems in the past was to face them in the future, I didn’t know that you were going to be here so soon.” He stated with a pregnant pause, “Nothing is your fault, you were always there for me. It was all my fault. I started doing drugs, I started drinking heavily—it was a demon that took over my body. The night I said all those things to you, I was drunk, high on cocaine… it made me into a person I didn’t want to be anymore." He paused, his voice breaking each time he spoke, "The next day, I heard the voicemail you left me, and my world fell apart. To everyone, the fans, the guys, I was fine, but inside I was dead. I know I hurt you, and when I had sobered up and come off my high and that message was there, it killed me. It would’ve been better if you would’ve took a gun and shot me in the heart.”

“Alex,” I whispered, “Please don’t say that. Please never say that again.”

“That’s how I feel.” He said, looking over his shoulder, then turned his body planting his feet on the concrete.

“Feel? As in present tense?” I questioned, he nodded as the tears fell out of his eyes.

“I still feel that way. I went years wanting to tell you everything, I wanted to tell you I was sorry for being that man that night. I never had it in my heart to hurt you, I never wanted to but I did and I lost you.” He said in tears. I pulled him in my arms, letting him cry on my shoulder. I wiped the tears that had rolled down my cheeks. “Nothing I say will ever take the hurt away. You’ll always hate me, nothing I do will ever make it better.”

“Alex, please.” I begged, running my left hand up and down his back trying to console him. “It’s going to take time, but everything will get better.”

“That’s what Lauren and Nick said, that’s what mom and Tony said, but I don’t think it will. Those demons are still in me, with each passing day they beg to come out.” He said, sitting up and wiping under his eyes. “What’s done is done, the only thing I can do is hope and pray that you forgive me.” And with that, he stood up and left, leaving me alone.

I grabbed my phone and texted Brian to ask him if he and Nick would come outside. In the matter of minutes, they were kneeled down in front of me. “He told me that he was high and drunk the night he said all those things. He said when he woke up that next morning and was sober he listened to the voicemail message I left him, he said it would’ve been better if I just had took a gun and shot him in the heart, he said it would’ve been easier, and he still feels that way.”

“Oh Lay,” Brian said wrapping his arms around me. The tears flowed out of my eyes heavily. Nick placed his hand in mine giving me a gentle ‘I’m here for you’ squeeze. “Age and I have talked about that. I went to counseling with him after he got out of rehab, I remember him telling everything to his counselor. Everything that’s happened stemmed from the drugs and drinking.”

“I remember him telling the counselor that what turned him to those things was the fact that he couldn’t cope with Lay not being able to go with us. He wanted her there more than anything, and when Lou said she couldn’t and she was the past, it tore him up. He needed a way out of everything. He loved to perform, he loved the fans, but he loved Lay with all his heart.” Nick said, sitting beside me.

“I think that if you and Age really talk, then you two could work things out. I remember back when all I heard about was you. I felt like you were a sister I never had. He kept a few pictures in his bunk, pictures of him and you, and ones of you alone. He cried every night after that night when he said everything. He knew he lost you.” Brian said, rubbing my back. I sat up and sighed, I knew that in the end I was the one that would have to push for recovery.

“To be honest, he still has all those pictures in his wallet; every single one that is in his bunk.” Nick said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “I know that hatred is thick and deep, but do you really hate him? After what he just confessed to you?”

“How can I? Deep down, I don’t think that the hate I thought was hate was exactly hate. Just hurt, betrayal; he wasn’t the only one who lost someone. I lost him too. It hurt to know that he could be that cruel and hateful towards me—he’s never been that way.” I confessed, looking at the two men. They prodded for me to go on, but what else could I say to make everything ligther? “I was there for him growing up. My mom and Denise were best friends, we were best friends, even though he was two years older than me. We had sleepovers, we were attached to the hip. I tried to shield him from the arguments that his dad and Denise had. I was there the night his dad walked out on him and Denise. I was there for the nights he cried himself to sleep over it. I was there when he said he hated his dad for leaving; he said he’d never leave me regardless, but he did. Just like everyone else.”

“We won’t ever leave you, Lay.” Brian said as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “You’re stuck with us forever.

“As long as I have your ladies with me, I’ll be fine.” I said making them two and myself laugh. I wiped my face and stood up. “If you two were me, what would yal do?”

“I would talk to him again. As much as he’s talked about you, I know that he’s really and truly sorry.” Brian said, making me nod.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him again.” I said, as the three of us walk back into Nick’s house. Baylee saw me, his eyes lit up, making me smile. I bent down and picked him up, kissing his cheek. “What’s up Buttercup? Did you eat good?”

He nodded his head, “Yes mam! You are the best cook ever!” He exclaimed, making me smile.

“Good. That’s what I live for, my little love.” I said, making him laugh. I saw a plate for me that was already fixed with a big blob of ketchup, too. I grabbed my plate and sat at the table, right beside AJ. He pulled the chair out for me, I smiled and told him thank you.

I sat down, Baylee moved in my lap and straddled my legs, laying his head on my shoulder again. Leighanne put a glass of tea in front of my plate. I thanked her and started eating. “Baylee you want to come with mommy?”

“He’s fine Leigh, I promise.” I said with a smile, “I’ve missed him.”

“Um, who is she?” The girl, Kaci, asked, looking at me with a sour look on her face.

“I’m Madalay Ramirez, sorry I didn’t introduce myself to you earlier.” I said being as civil as I could.

“Right, so why are you here?” She wondered, striking every nerve I had.

“For one, Lauren is my cousin, she invited me. And two, I’m on important business, so I needed a place to stay for a few days until I find out what my week is going to be entailed with. Is that okay with you?” I questioned, tilting my head and batting my eyelashes.

“Well, I’m here with AJ, he’s my man so don’t try to take him from me.” She seethed, making me furrow my eyebrows and looking at AJ for answers. I put my fork down and chuckled to myself.

I leaned down and kissed Baylee’s head before I looked back at AJ licking my lips and covering Baylee’s ears, “Is this bitch fucking kidding me right now?”

His eyes widened, he bit the inside of his cheek trying not to laugh. I looked back at her and saw her gaping. “You are going to pay for that.” She gritted, making me roll my eyes.

“Um, no, there is nothing to pay for per say,” I paused, “But if you want to keep this up, I will have your feet down your throat so far that your toes come out your asshole, understand?”

Everyone went wide-eyed. Nick couldn’t take it, he busted out into a fit of giggles. He, then, drug Brian, Howie and Kevin down with him.

“AJ! Do something!” She screeched, making Leighanne, Leigh, Kris and Lauren laugh out loudly.

“Kaci calm down, Jesus Christ, you’ve been uptight ever since you just showed up.” AJ said, looking at her. She glared and looked at me.

“I’m going to beat your ass for that.” She said, standing up. I started laughing loudly as well, then noticed Baylee was already asleep. I looked at Leighanne, she nodded and took him carefully from my arms. I kissed him on his head before she took him upstairs.

“Little girl you’re fighting a storm.” I said, wiping my mouth with the napkin. “How old are you? Isn’t it passed your bedtime?”

“How dare you?” She gasped, walking around to me, she reached out to grab me, but wasn't fast enough. I caught her hand and stood up, turning her around to where her back was against me. My right hand came up grabbing the back of her neck and forced her on the table, her left hand touching her right shoulder blade.

I leaned down to her ear, “If you ever decide to try and touch me again, I’ll do more than just this, understand?” Her eyes widened, she nodded her head against the table. “Good.” I said, turning around and walking away from her.

I walked upstairs and checked on Baylee, his beautiful face had a small smile on it as he was snuggled against his favorite stuffed animal I gave him a while back.

I walked to the bed and laying behind him. I wrapped my arm around his small frame, and pressed my lips against his head.

Don’t speak, no use for words. Lie in my arms, sleep secure. I wonder what you’re dreaming of, lands rare and far. Let’s fight this fight and reach the stars. A lifetime full of words to say, I hope that time will slow the passing day.

By this time, I was in tears. More than just the past with Alex is resurfacing and I don’t know how I could handle it. I’ve been hurt more times than I could count on my fingers and toes, I’ve kept those feelings bottled up for a long time. I don’t know how to chalk it up and let them out.

“Lay are you okay?” Leighanne asked from the door. I looked up at her and nodded.

“I’m great. I’ve missed you, Bay and Brian a lot, you know that right?” I asked, kissing Baylee once more on his cheek before I got up. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her tightly. I sighed happily in her hold, I laid my head on her shoulder. “Is anyone mad about what happened downstairs?”

“No babe, she left though. AJ told her to leave.” She said, kissing my head. “That shocked the hell out of me, too. He never stands up to her.”

“He’s not that type to fight. He was like that when we were kids.” I said, squeezing her gently before I let go. “Brian and Nick thinks I should talk to him.”

“I think so, too, babe. You and him, from what I’ve heard and what Brian has told me that he’s said himself, there is a lot of love there still. I think you two can overcome this. I know he hurt you, but at least give him the benefit of the doubt to show you that he’s changed.” She said. I nodded, damn Leighanne and her logic.

“I will.” I said, biting my lip.

“On the bright side, they all need to ask you a question, so come on.” She said, pulling me behind her. Once she reached the bottom step, she paused, letting me get on her back. I giggled, closed my eyes, and started singing one of our favorite songs.

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise. Running the shadows, damn your love, damn your life. And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying you will never break the chain. And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again, I can still hear you saying you will never break the chain.

I opened my eyes and saw that we were back in the kitchen, everyone had a surprised look on their face; all but Brian, Nick and Lauren. I got off of Leighanne’s back and kissed her cheek, before walking to Nick. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier, it was uncalled for.” I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

I walked over to AJ, and stood in front of him for minute. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier with your girlfriend.” I sealed the apology by wrapping my arms around him for a short, but acknowledging hug.

“She deserved it. Can we talk later?” He whispered, I nodded against his shoulder then pulled away.

“Everyone I am sorry for how I acted earlier. Now, say you forgive me....” I trailed, “Group hug!” I exclaimed, making everyone laugh. On que, everyone including AJ came together for a group hug. “Okay, so, Leighanne said yal needed to talk to me?”

“Oh yeah! Okay, we have a song we want to do a video for and was wondering if you’ll be the girl in our video?” Brian asked shyly. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked between each of them.

“Me?” I asked, making sure I heard right.

“Yeah, please. We thought about it, you can listen to the song and see what you think.” Kevin said, looking at me.

“Okay, sure.” I said, as Brian handed me his iPod, the song was already up on the screen, I Still… I excused myself and walked out the back, lighting a cigarette. I pressed play, hearing this beautiful melody come through the speakers. As the first verse came up, it was the same one that AJ was singing earlier.

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it, Can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you. Like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last, to last. I try to fight it, can't deny it. You don't even know. That I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you, whoah oh.

I wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I, will never let you go, oh. Though everything's been said and done, yeah. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

As the song went off, I wiped a stray tear that had fell onto my cheek. This is probably the best song I’ve ever heard, especially when it was put together. I smiled and heard the sliding glass door open. I took a long drag of my cigarette and saw it was AJ. I scooted over, letting him take a seat beside me.

“You don’t have to be in it if you don’t want to.” He said, taking the cigarette from me and placing it between his lips.

“I like the song a lot. It’s probably my favorite song as of any song I’ve ever heard of. I would be honored to be in it, unless you say otherwise.” I said, lighting another cigarette.

“You won’t get an objection from me. I’ll be happy to have you there.” He said, looking at me and giving me that beautiful smile I used to love. “Do you think you can come to one of my meetings with me?”

“To your counselor?” I asked, laying my head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, please?” He wondered, “We don’t have to do anything else, I just want you to come. Maybe he can help with everything.”

“I’ll go. You don’t have to explain why you want me there, Alex.” I said, looking at him. He gave me a sad smile and nodded. “Do you remember when we were eight, and you decided how much you wanted to perform? You had an audition, but couldn’t go because you fell out the tree and broke your arm?”

He smiled and chuckled, “I remember that all too well. I remember you hollering for mom, and you just sat there on the ground in the mud with white shorts on, holding me.”

“I wanted you to know that no matter what I was there to pick you up when you fell.” I said, “How about when we had your 10th birthday party? That clown showed up to the wrong party, and you and I both ran to the tree house. I still hate clowns to this day.”

“I don’t think I will ever forget either.” He said, “What about when we had that middle school dance?”

“Oh yeah, thanks for bringing that one up asswipe.” I said, swatting his leg, making him chuckle. “I tried to perm my hair and it ended up looking like a poodle’s ass, which was the highlight of everyone’s year.”

“I thought you were beautiful. That black dress, your hair looked like Cyndi Lauper’s. I was happy to have you as my date.” He said laying his head on mine. I smiled and bit my lip.

“That’s because no one wanted to go with me.” I said, chuckling. He shook his head.

“No, I wanted to go with you. I just didn’t have the balls to ask until the night before. I played if off like I knew we both didn’t have dates, but like I said, I’m happy we got to go.”

“Me too, Al, me too even though it turned into a disaster that night. I was happy to actually have a fun night even if it was a school event.” I said, closing my eyes and thinking back to that night. That was the same night my mom left.

“Those were the days.” He said chortling, I nodded agreeing with him one-hundred percent. The old days were the best, we didn’t have a care in the world… we had each other.

Monday mornings were always a drag. I sat up in the bed as the sun shone through the open Roman shade Nick had in the room. Today was the day that I was meeting with the band I was going to produce—I was excited about that. We had to meet in Hollywood, then the production would be back in Florida for the first half. Today I’d get to know who the band was and when producing would start, needless to say I was excited regardless.

I got out of bed and walked in the bathroom, turning the shower water on. Letting it run for a few minutes to warm up, once it was done, I stripped of my clothes and stepped in. The hot water swarm my body, relaxing the tense muscles that I had. I sighed and leaned against the cold shower tiles.

Last night after AJ and I talked, I stole Brian’s iPod and started listening to the songs he had. Most of which were his band, Backstreet Boys, songs… I have to say, I knew a couple back then but never really honed over them. Brian told me to listen to a couple of the newer songs, which I did, and I loved them. Many of the songs were replayed over and over in my mind the whole night, one was a newer one called Crawling Back to You.

Everybody knows, that I was such a fool to every let go of you, but baby I was wrong. Yeah, I know I said, we’d be better off alone, it was time that we moved on. I know I broke your heart, I didn’t mean to break your heart.

But baby here I am, banging on your front door. My pride spilled on the floor, my hands and knees are bruised, and I’m crawling back to you. Begging for a second chance, are you gonna let me in? I was running from the truth, and now I’m crawling back to you.

After hearing it a couple of times, I really honed in on AJ’s part of the song. I don’t know why, but Brian told me to listen to it for a reason. Was it AJ telling me something that he couldn’t tell me in person? He’s always been the lyrical type. He and I are different in that aspect.

I washed thoroughly then got out and ready for my day ahead. I had to look presentable, professional, but fun in a sense, so I picked out my clothes for the day and got dressed After I was finished, I checked my phone and saw it was only 7AM. I sighed, still being on Eastern time—I’m surprised it caught up to me, it usually didn’t.

I walked downstairs and saw Baylee sitting on the floor. “Bay are you up by yourself baby?” I asked, he nodded and smiled.

“I am Lay, I’m hungry.” He beamed up at me. I giggled and picked him up. “You’re really pretty today, Lay. You leaving me?”

“Just for a little bit, Buttercup, then when I get back we can do whatever you want to, okay?” I questioned, as we got into the kitchen. He nodded and kissed my cheek, “You helping me with breakfast?”

“Can I?” He wondered, I nodded and kissed his head.

“Of course you can. Chocolate chip pancakes?” I asked as I sat him on the counter, he leaned back against the backsplash, watching me intently. “What is it Buttercup?”

“Are you happy?” He wondered, catching me off guard as I made the coffee pot up and pressed “Brew”.

“I am, why?” I asked, grabbing the eggs, milk, bacon and sausage out of the fridge and sat them on the counter by him. I found the Bisquick, chocolate chips, and a bowl to mix the pancakes with.

Gathering all the ingredients, I started making his pancakes. Minutes later, he was at the bar eating pancakes and eggs, while he drank orange juice. I started on everyone else’s breakfast.

“Smells good in here.” I heard Nick say from behind me, I looked over my shoulder and smiled, watching him hug Baylee “Good morning little man.” He walked to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “Good morning Lay, you’re looking gorgeous this morning.”

“Thank you, and good morning Nick, breakfast?” I asked, holding out a plate for him. He smiled and dropped to his knees hugging my middle.

“Where have you been all my life? How could I have just met you recently?” He asked dramatically, making Baylee and I laugh.

“Uncle Nick, she’s been in my life for a while.” Baylee said, making Nick fake pout.

“Not fair!” He groaned, standing up and grabbing the plate from me. He kissed me on the cheek and turned making his way to Baylee. The two sat beside each other and carried on a conversation while I was in my own little world finishing up breakfast.

After I finished breakfast, I fixed a small serving for myself, then sat down with Baylee and Nick. I started eating as everyone started filing in to the kitchen. It wasn’t long before all the food was gone—AJ made two trips as well as Howie, Brian, Baylee and Kevin. Nick made three, and complained about messing up his diet and blaming me for his weight gaining.

“I hope yal enjoy breakfast, I’ve got to get going.” I said, after I finished the dishes. Nick and Brian pretended to cry as I walked to the front door. “Come on you guys! I won’t be long, but I promised myself to Baylee when I get back.”

“Not fair! I haven’t seen you in three weeks either!” Brian exclaimed, making me laugh. I hugged him and Nick, then everyone else. I hugged Baylee last, and kissed his head.

“Love you Lay.” He said, kissing my cheek.

“Love you Bay.” I replied, hugging him once more. I waved bye to everyone before I turned for the door. I opened it and stepped outside, walking to my car. I got in and crunk it up, letting it run for a few minutes before I backed out and was headed to Jive in Hollywood.

My phone started beeping, notifying me of a text message. I looked at the screen, it was Denise. Call me when you can. Love you I smiled and pressed the phone icon and called her.

“Hey baby,” She started, “I was checking in to see if everything is going okay.”

“It is, I’m staying with Nick and Lauren for a few days. I’m headed to a meeting now to meet a band that I’m going to be producing.” I said, “How is everything back home?”

“It’s good baby. I know two little babies that miss you.” She said with a small laugh.

“I miss them, too. I should be back by the end of the week. Guess who I had the privilege of seeing yesterday.”

“He already called. He called last night actually, we had a heart to heart. He said yal did as well.” She said, as I came up to a red light.

“We did. He asked if I wanted to go to counseling with him. I told him I would.” I replied, still at the red light.

“He told me that as well. Baby I know he hurt you, but after he spilled the beans… I don’t think it was intentional. He told me about yal’s talk, and I heard you met his girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah, she’s just a ray of sunshine. And yes, Den I don’t think it was intentional. I’m trying to be optimistic about everything; I realized yesterday that the hate I felt towards him wasn’t exactly hate—it was betrayal, hurt.” I said, as the red light changed to green. I pressed the gas and started towards Jive once more.

“I understand, sweetheart. When you get back, we need to have lunch. Tony misses you as do I.”

“I miss yal, too. Den after everything, I promise things will get better between Al and I.” I said, reassuring her.

“I know you will baby. You know how he is, so you’d have to make that move first.” She said with a small laugh, “Everything will fall into place, I promise. It will just take time.”

“I know, it just shocked me yesterday seeing him. I slapped him and told him I hated him. I didn’t know I slapped him until after I did.” I said, feeling bad for my actions.

“He don’t blame you at all, and neither do I. Call me tonight, I’m fixing to go to the doctor with Tony.” She said, making me nod.

“What’s wrong with Tony?” I asked, pulling into Jive Record’s parking lot.

“Nothing, just having trouble with his blood pressure.” She said, “I love you baby, and have a good day.”

“Okay Den. I want a full report when I call back later. I love you and Tony, and thank you for everything you have done for me. If it wasn’t for you two, I wouldn’t be here today.” I spoke sincerely.

“Oh baby, you would’ve. You would’ve needed a push in the right direction. I better let you go, love you.” She said, I knew she was smiling, I could hear it in her voice.

“Love you Den. Yal be careful, talk to yal later.” I said before we hung up. I checked the time and saw I had thirty minutes before I had to be inside. I lit a cigarette and checked my emails to see if there was any news on the tattoo shop I was supposed to look at, but there was nothing.

My phone rang, it was Ryan from Jive Records in Florida. I pressed send and put the phone to my hear. “Hello?”

“Hey Madalay, how are you this morning?” He questioned as I took a drag of my cigarette.

“I’m good, just pulled up to Jive in Hollywood. Why can’t you tell me about the band?” I whined, making him laugh.

“Because I have been sworn to secrecy. You’ve worked with someone from there before, that’s all I’m going to say.” He said, making me sigh.

“I’ve worked with a lot of people Ryan, who are in fact in many different bands!” I exclaimed, “This is not fair. I’m always in the dark.”

“Oh Madalay, stop it. You’re going to like them, I promise. They’re a good group of guys, anyways, I was calling to tell you I’m fixing to forward emails to you about production time, studio time. When and where it’s all going to take place.”

“Okay, just do that, I’m fixing to walk on up and prepare myself. I got to get with Gary and listen to a song I recorded a while back.” I said, taking the last drag of my cigarette.

“Okay dokey, I’ll forward them right over to you. Have a great day beautiful!” Ryan exclaimed and hung up before I could say anything. I chuckled and turned my phone on vibrate only. I got out my car and grabbed my bag, before I closed the door and locked it. I walked into Jive and saw Ashley at the desk.

“Good morning Ms. Ramirez,” She smiled, standing up as she greeted me.

“Good morning Ashley, I told you my name is Madalay.” I said with a smile, she grinned and sat a cup of coffee on the desk.

“This is for you. I got what you always got when you were here.” She said, beaming up at me.

“Thank you so much, that’s so thoughtful of you.” I said, “I’ll buy us lunch, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” She started but I cut her off.

“Please, you do a lot for me when I’m here. It’s not a problem.” I said, stepping around the desk to hug her. We said our goodbyes before I walked to the elevator. I got in and pressed the number 3. It wasn’t but just a minute later, I was face to face with Gary. I walked in on him playing the song I recorded.

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest. Or the girl who never wants to be alone. I don't wanna be there calling 4 o'clock in the morning. Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Ah, the sun is blinding. Ah, I stayed up again. Oh, I am finding. That that's not the way I want my story to end.

I nodded my head with the beat. It was weird hearing myself singing, when I was the one always behind the sound board.

I'm safe, up high; nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside; you're my protection, but how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth. Please don't tell me that we had that conversation. Cause I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Ah, the night is calling? And it whispers to me softly come and play. But I, I am falling, and If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe, up high; nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside; you're my protection, but how do I feel this good sober?

Coming down, coming down, coming down. Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round. I'm looking for myself, sober. Coming down, coming down, coming down. Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round, looking for myself, sober.

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'till it goes bad. 'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had. I have heard myself cry, never again, broken down in agony just tryin' to find a friend. Oh, oh.

As the song finished, I looked at Gary and smiled. “You took my idea, this is amazing G.”

“I thought so, too. I got it on a disc for you, I think this could be a hit.” He said, looking at me with a smile.

“A hit?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. He nodded and sat up in his chair.

“I have a vision. You could possibly break through with this. I know you didn’t want to do that, but this song is fucking amazing. You hit the nail on the head, and I think it could help people.” He said, handing me the disc. He played it once more, during the song I started singing along to it.

As the song ended, I heard one than one set of claps behind me. I turned around and saw Brian, Nick, Kevin, Howie and AJ smiling. “Hey guys, what are yal doing here?”

“Supposed to be meeting with our new producer by the name of Ramirez.” Brian said in his Donald Duck voice. I smiled widely and stood up, hugging him tightly.

“I can’t believe this! This is great.” I said, looking at each of them. “Well, would yal like to go to my office and discuss this?”

“That’s fine.” Nick said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Okay, great. Gary can I think about what you said earlier?” I asked him, he nodded and smiled, dismissing me. As the guys and I walked out of the control room, Gary started playing the song again.

“So, that song… that was you?” Howie asked as we walked towards my office. I bit my lip and nodded, AJ took the disc from me.

“Alexander James McLean, we may be grown up, but I will beat your ass again!” I exclaimed as he ran into the men’s restroom. I rolled my eyes, as the guys laughed behind me. I got to my office and opened the door for them to walk in. After they walked in, I saw AJ walking down the hall. “You big kid, I need you to hurry up, you’re keeping important business to a halt.”

“Yes ma’am!” He exclaimed, walking through the threshold. I kicked him playfully in the back of the leg, he fell pretending to be hurt. The guys and I laughed as I closed the door behind me and walked behind my desk.

“So, I get to produce yal? This is exciting.” I said, looking on my desk calendar. “Yal are doing a small tour in a couple of weeks right?” I asked, looking through the rest of March.

“Yeah, March 24th through May 23rd. Small US tour and European tour.” Brian said, I nodded and wrote down needful information. “We’d like to start as soon as possible after we come home.”

I nodded, “Okay, booth and studio time… I can have you in there in end of June. We can start the first part of the record in Orlando, if that’s okay with yal. Everything is booked up here for the next year until May. I can get yal in for that part of ending production, if that’s okay?”

“You are so professional.” Kevin said, making me smile.

“I try to be,” I said with a small chuckle. “I will pay for air fare all the way around. I have a house that yal are more than welcome to stay at in Florida, as well.”

“That would be great!” AJ exclaimed, making everyone look at him. He was like a kid that overdosed on candy.

“Okay, good.” I said, “If we run into any problems in Orlando, I have a studio in Nashville that we can go to. Kind of like a vacation and work.” I said absentmindedly, writing down everything.

“You do know that instead of five there will only be four, right Lay?” Kevin asked, making me stop what I was doing.

“What?” I asked, looking between the five of them. They nodded giving me the answer I was looking for.

“Yeah, I decided I’m taking some time off for a while. Kri and I are trying for a baby.” Kevin reassured me. I smiled and felt hot tears prick my eyes.

“That’s so great, Kev. I’m so happy for yal!” I said wholeheartedly, “I think that causes a celebration!”

“Maybe later, but right now this is about them.” He said, winking at me. I nodded and sighed, looking back down at my calendar.

“I need to get with Ken about what days yal have available, I’m sure with promotions, yal will cut into time of production. I don’t want to clash too much, because I’m sure yal are prompt and precise men when yal are recording.” I said, looking between the five of them, they nodded and smiled.

“You’re sexy when you’re serious.” Nick said, making me laugh loudly, as well as the guys.

“Thank you Nick,” I said, “If yal can, can you get Ken to call me?”

“Of course.” Brian said, grabbing his phone and texted Ken asking if he would call me. He replied back with he will at 1:30 PM. My phone started ringing, Ross flashed over the screen.

“Excuse me for a minute,” I said, before I answered the call. “Hello?”

“Lay I have big news for you.” He started, “I got a call from Ink’dmagazine. They want to do a spread on you.”

“Me, why?” I asked, grabbing my pen fixing to write the information down.

“Because you are beautiful and you have amazing tattoos, duh.” He said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes.

“When?” I asked, looking up at AJ, who was staring intently at me.

“April 5th, LA at Envisions.” He said, as I wrote it down. “I just wanted you to know that. See you soon, love you.”

“Yeah, love you Rossy. Tell Taylor, Jordy, and Ryan I said hey and I will see yal when I come to Georgia.” I said, smiling as I wrote it down on my calendar.

“Alright, have a great day.” He said sweetly, which was odd of him.

“You, too. Bye.” I said, before I hung up. I dropped my pen and sighed, “Sorry about that guys.”

“It’s no problem, everything okay?” Brian asked, tilting his head. I nodded and smiled.

“Of course. Anyways, so, what kind of sound are yal going for?” I questioned, grabbing my yellow steno pad. I put their names at the top with Backstreet Boys; Production: June 24, 2006.

“We want a darker but pop and rock type. We have songs that we need help to finish. I have that one song that you wrote… definitely want that on there.” Brian said, as Nick agreed.

“Okay, that works. Mind if I look over what yal do have?” I asked, looking at the guys.

“Of course you can, you’re producing us!” AJ exclaimed, making everyone laugh.
“Okay, great! Well if yal want yal can give those to me later. I have my guitar with me back at Nick’s so we can play around some.” I said, looking at them. Brian broke out into a big smile.

“I can tell this album will be a breeze. I can’t wait to get started!” He said, jumping up from his chair, walking around my desk and picking me up. I giggled and held onto him as he walked back to his seat and sat down. He held out his phone and opened his camera, then held out his arm getting me, him, AJ and Nick in the picture. After we all smiled, I slid out of his lap and returned to my seat.

“It’s going to be fun.” I said, watching them agree.

“If it’s anything like how you were when we done my album, it’s going to be a blast.” Brian said, making me grin widely.

“Well, I hope so, I’ll make it as easy breezy as I can! But, it was a pleasure seeing yal in this form of meeting.” I said, standing up. “We are finished right now.”

“Thank you for doing business with us.” Brian said, shaking my hand. I giggled and hugged him tightly.

“Kevin, pleasure doing business with you.” I said, hugging him.

“Howie, it was a pleasure.” I said, hugging him.

“Carter, pleasure sir.” I said, hugging him.

“Alex, pleasure.” I said, hugging him. “I’ll walk yal out.”

“This is nice.” AJ said, against my ear. I looked up at him and smiled before opening the door for them. As they walked out, I filed out behind them. We got into the elevator and went down to the lobby.

“Can we be non-professional now?” Brian asked, I knew it was about to eat him alive. I chuckled and nodded. “Thank God! Do you know how hard that was? I felt like a child being scolded, acting all prim and proper.”

“I understand Bri. I understand completely.” I said, walking into the lobby. Ashley looked at me and frowned. “You okay Ashley?”

“I’m fine, are you leaving for the day?” She asked, I shook my head.

“I told you I was buying lunch, I’m just walking the guys out.” I said with a smile. She grinned and nodded. The guys and I made it outside, I lit a cigarette and sighed.

“So, how was the meeting guys?” I asked, looking up at them.

“We had this gorgeous woman for our producer. She’s a real looker.” AJ said, making me blush.

“She was very focused on what we wanted. She’s a smart woman, very prompt—knows the business as well as we do.” Brian said, making me smile.

“Well that’s good. I’m sure yal are in the right hands. She won’t let you down.” I said, taking a few drags of my cigarette, then looked up at AJ, “Got an interesting phone call this morning.”

“Yeah? From who?” He wondered, knowing exactly who I was talking about. He wasn’t stupid.

“Ma.” I said, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I can explain,” He started, but I stopped him.

“It’s okay. I haven’t talked to her in a couple of days. She had to take Tony to the doctor. When I get back home, I’m stopping there first.”

“That will be good, they miss you.” He replied, “Everyone usually does.”

“I miss them, and that’s not true. I bet after last night, Kaci don’t miss me.” I joked, jabbing his stomach with my elbow. He chuckled and nodded.

“Fine, the people who matter.” He coincided. I shrugged and finished my cigarette.

“I’ll see you beautiful men later.” I said, hugging them once more before returning back inside. “Ashley, you ready for lunch?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, grabbing her pocketbook. We went downtown to the Bistro. We talked about everything under the sun—she was someone I confided in, she was someone that could bring me back to reality.

Being back in Florida was bittersweet, I hated saying goodbye to everyone, especially Baylee. After landing in Palm Beach, Denise was there to pick me up much to my dismay. She and I argued for hours about it, she was still the mama I never had… she always made sure I was took care of.

“Happy to be back?” She asked as we got on the interstate. I nodded, but she knew I wasn’t being fully honest with her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Den. Just missing a few things, that’s all.” I said, “Nothing I won’t lose.”

“Okay baby, so, who was the band that you get to produce?” She asked with a smile. I rolled my head and looked at her, smiling.

“You’d never guess.” I said, “Backstreet Boys.”

“Really? Holy crap. AJ didn’t even tell me that.” She said, I knew she was lying.

“Yes he did, he tells you everything.” I said with a small laugh. She nodded as we got into West Palm Beach city limits. Ten minutes later, we were home.

“When is the video shoot?” She asked, as we got out of her car.

“Next week. We’re flying to Boston, it’s the last video for the Never Gone album.” I replied as we walked into her house. Tony sat in his recliner, his head was pressed against the back, his eyes were closed. He looked too peaceful not to wake up, but if I didn’t wake him up it would be me. I sat in his lap, and laid my head on his shoulder. I grabbed my phone and opened the camera, snapping a picture of us. I sent it in a group text to the guys and girls with the caption: “Finally home and this old geezer sleeps!”

“I’m not camera ready.” He said, his eyes were still closed. I giggled and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “Good to have you back.”

“Good to be back Pops.” I replied, as he rocked us back and forth. I felt like a kid again, the memories were what I ran on always.

“I know two babies that missed you a a lot.” Denise said, leaning against the threshold. She was holding my two dogs, Minky and Monty. She put them on the floor, they made a mad dash to me. I slid in the floor and was tackled by the two. I giggled, letting them lick my cheeks. Once they had enough of excitement, they laid by my sides.

“Babe, you can go upstairs and take you a nap okay?” Denise asked, I nodded and stood up, hugging both her and Tony before I made my way upstairs to ‘my’ room. I laid on the bed and got comfortable, Minky and Monty jumped up on the bed with me and each got on the sides of me. It wasn’t long before I fell into a deep slumber.

What felt like five minutes, was only five hours. I woke up to my phone going on repeatedly. I grabbed my phone seeing AJ was calling. I groaned pressing send. “Hello?” I whispered, into the phone hearing him laugh.

“You okay?” He wondered, I nodded as if he could see me.

“What time is it?” I asked, burying myself deeper into the bed, if that was even possible.

“It’s seven here, so ten there. Did I wake you up?” He questioned, I nodded once more.

“Yeah, but I’m fixing to get up and head to my house.” I replied, my eyes still closed. “I’m in the extra bedroom at your mama’s. I didn’t know I was this tired, until now.”

“Jet-lag is a bitch. I just wanted to see if you were alright. You think we can talk more?” He asked, as I sat up and yawned.

“I rather talk face to face, Al.” I said, “I don’t like talking about serious issues over the phone.”

“I know, and that’s why,” He said, as the door to the bedroom I was in opened. It was AJ, “I’m here.” He said, hanging up the phone. Minky and Monty both woke and barked a couple of times before settling back down.

“Al why are you here?” I asked, wiping the sleep out of my eyes. He sat at the foot of the bed and beamed up at me. I furrowed my eyebrows wanting answers.

“I wanted to come back to Florida for a little bit.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. Something wasn’t right with him. Yes, we may have gotten back into the swing of things, I may have forgiven him, but I knew something was up.

“Right, why don’t you just cut the bullshit and tell me why you’re really here.” I said, tilting my head to the right, “No bullshitting either Al.”

“I just wanted to come, is that such a crime?” He asked, his hands were shaking profusely.

“The hell is wrong with you Alex?” I asked, watching tears roll down his cheeks. “Al you have two seconds to tell me what’s wrong with you or I will make you cry.”

“She’s been cheating on me for the past year. I got home and there she was fucking not one, but two men.” He said, his hands forming in fists. This struck a nerve deep within me, yeah we may have had a rough past, but this… cheating is something that I will never get over.

“Where she at now?” I asked, getting out of the bed. He put his hand on my arm and stopped me. “Alexander where is she?”

“She’s back in California at my house.” He said, dropping his head.

“Why the fuck is she at your house?” I asked, looking at him more pissed off than I could ever be.

“She don’t have a place to go.” He said, as I forcefully pulled my arm out of his grasp. I grabbed Minky and Monty before walking downstairs and saw Denise and Tony sitting on the couch together.

“I’ll be back shortly.” I said, hugging them both.

“Mada no! Don’t!” I heard AJ yell behind me.

“Love yal.” I said, before I walked out their house. I found my way walking down the street to my house, once I was at my house, I put Minky and Monty in their kennels with food and water. After handling them, I grabbed my car keys and walked back out, seeing AJ there leaning against my car. “Get out the way AJ.”

“No, don’t. She’s not worth going to jail over.” He said, trying to stop me. I started laughing and rolled my eyes.

“I won’t go to jail. I’ll make sure of that.” I said, looking at him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly.

“Please don’t go.” He whispered, his voice broke with every word.

“When I get back to California for the Ink’d photoshoot, I will go by and see her. She won’t be in your house and if you try to stop me, I will beat your ass once I’m done beating hers. Capiche?” I asked as I pulled away from him. His eyes widened, but he complied.

“Can we go to the beach?” He wondered, I nodded and pulled him towards my house. I unlocked the door and stepped aside for him to go in. He was almost mesmerized, I chuckled and shook my head, pulling him through the house to the back yard—the beach.

“Here you are, the beach.” I said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “So, why are you here and she’s there? I still can’t get of the fact that she’s still at your fucking house. AJ, are you goddamned stupid?”

He sighed, “I know I am. I should’ve made her leave.”

I started laughing, “You don’t worry about that. After I put the Fear of God in her, she’ll change her ways.” He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Never thought you and I would be back on our old stomping grounds.”

“Me either. It’s nice though.” He said, I agreed.

“It is. Peaceful, not busy like LA.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about what happened with her, Al.”

“Thanks, but its water under the bridge.” He said as we walked out onto the shoreline. The moon reflected on the water, it was a beautiful site. “Do you mind if I stay here with you?”

“Sure, that’s no problem.” I said, mesmerized by the ocean tides. They were different than the West Coast, they were more calm and it was a nice feeling. There was something about the tides that calmed me down. The breeze flowed through the air, sending hard chills down my spine. I snaked my right arm through AJ’s left arm, and snuggled up to him.

He chuckled lightly, and pulled his arm from me then wrapped it around my shoulders. I sighed, turning into him, draping my left leg over his. His right hand hooked under my thigh, holding me closer.

“I want to kill her.” I said, breaking the silence. He chortled and shook his head.

“Why?” He questioned, kissing my head.

“Because no matter what anyone does in their life, good or bad, no one deserves to be cheated on. When you love someone you love them and only them; not them and other people.” I explained, closing my eyes, “Even after the shit that went down with us way back when, you still don’t deserve it.”

“Well, hearing you say that means a lot. Maybe it’s karma, maybe I deserved it.” He said, shrugging. I furrowed my eyebrows and straddled his lap, taking his face in my hands.

“I don’t give a fuck if you killed someone, you do not deserve to be cheated on. You are a good man, you care about people that you let in your life. You did not deserve this, okay?” I asked, knowingly my nostrils were flaring. I wasn’t happy with the comment he made. Before I knew it, my lips were on his. I couldn’t push the electric shock that went through my body from it.

His arms were wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. Resting my hands on his shoulders, his tongue slid across my bottom lip begging for an entrance. I smiled, letting him in. Our tongues fought for dominance, he came out on top.

His hands ran down to my butt, squeezing each cheek tightly. I moaned against his lips, making him smile. He kissed down my neck, finding the one spot that was always sacred. My hands tangled themselves in his hair, pulling his head gently back; my lips were back on his in an instant. His hands roamed up my back, his right holding the back of my neck. My hands fiddled with the hem on his shirt. My hands roamed his stomach, up to his chest.

I slipped his shirt over his head, taking his beanie with it. His hands slipped under mine, his fingers dragging along my skin, giving me chills. I drug my fingernails down his chest, over his pecks to his biceps. I gripped tightly, pressing my lips to his neck, biting and nibbling every so often, getting seductive groans every time. My lips found their way back to his.

“I want you.” He whispered against my lips. I nodded, kissing him hungrily. I pulled back and looked into his eyes, who had a glare from the moon. His hands slipped my shirt over my head, laying it beside us. “Let me show you everything.”

“Take me there.” I whispered in reply. His lips were back on mine, his hands met with my bra clasp, and in a instant, my bra was off to the side. His hands went to my shorts, undoing them and pushing them down. I shimmied out of them then pushed him back onto the clothes, and kissed from his lips to the 69 tattoo around his belly button.

My hands found his belt buckle, I undid it quickly, then unzipped his pants and pulled them and his boxer’s down. “Let me.”

“Shh.” I whispered, kissing down his happy trail, over his hips and to his hardened length. I wrapped my right hand around his shaft, my lips on his tip. He let out a struggled groan, his breath hitching in his throat. I started pumping his shaft in a circular motion as I took him in as much as I could.

“God damn babe.” He groaned, his hands gripped my shoulders, massaging them lightly. I smiled, suctioning his shaft, taking him fully deep throated. I cupped his balls in my hand, massaging them as my head bobbed up and down. “Fuck Madalay, oh fuck.”

I smiled, before I came up making a popping noise. I kissed up his stomach to his chest, I straddled his lap, settling gently on his hardened length. I moaned loudly, arching my back, keeping my hands on his chest, my fingernails digging into his pecks. “Fuck Alex.”

His hands settled on my hips, his own fingers digging into the skin. I started rocking my body at a slow and steady pace. I didn’t want this to be a quick fuck, I wanted more. He was electricity, and I enjoyed the feeling and sensation. “You’re so tight, I fucking love it.”

“You feel so good inside of me.” I whispered, as he sat up pressing his lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck, my pace getting quicker than before. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him tightly. His lips were attached to my neck, I moaned loudly as he bit my spot.

He laid back down, pulling me with him. He began thrusting in and out at a faster pace, my hips met his with each thrust, making us both moan aloud. His lips found mine once more, keeping my moans suppressed as best as he could. I kissed down the side of his neck, to his Adam’s apple biting down gently. I smiled as he moaned my name, after one last kiss to his Adam ’s apple, I sat up and swiveled around, facing the ocean. I started riding him, moaning his name as often as my g-spot was hit.

He sat up, his chest against my back, his arm wrapped around my chest, holding me close to him. His right hand roamed up to my neck, I laid my head back on his shoulder, pressing my lips to his. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you,” I moaned out, as his fingers found their way to my clit, playing with the swollen bud. “Fuck Alex.” His fingers went in a faster motion, bringing me to my peek. “Oh god, Alex.”

“I want you to cum with me.” He whispered in my ear. I nodded, grinding my hips with his. My hand fell on his wrist, digging my fingernails as I came to my peek. “You ready?”

I nodded, dropping my head forward, moaning loudly. Our breathing became quicker, I started riding him harder and quicker, sending us both over edge. He held my sweaty body against his, as I rode out our orgasm; my head on his shoulder as he filled me with is seed. My legs were like jello, my whole body was to be honest. “Oh my fucking god.”

“Exactly.” He said as he kissed my shoulder to my neck. “We need to go shower.”

I nodded and stood up carefully, my legs were numb and shaking. Alex noticed before he picked our clothes up. He picked me up carefully, hooking one arm under my knees, and one wrapping around my waist. “I felt like I went to heaven.”

“Me too. I’ve never had that happen to me before.” He said as he began to walk back into my house. I directed him where to go, in the matter of minutes, we were in my bathroom. He sat me on the counter as he ran the water, letting the water get to temperature.

He turned back at me, picking me up. I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist, as he walked us in the shower. My feet touched the stone floor, as we stood under the water. I felt his hardened cock pressing into my back.

“So we meet again.” He whispered huskily in my ear. I bit my lip, and looked at him. I nodded, turning around pressing my lips on his. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and picked me up. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist as he pressed me up against the wall of the shower.

I arched my back as his lips found their way to my neck, nipping, sucking, and biting my skin lightly. I moaned loudly, as he pushed me further up the shower wall, and kissed down my breasts. His lips closed on my left nipple, sending me into a fit of moans. My fingers entwined in his hair, tugging his head back up to mine.

His tongue fell in my mouth, wiggling with mine. He moaned and shuddered as I licked the top of his mouth. I broke from him, looking into his brown eyes once they opened. I wiggled myself out of his grasp as I pushed him against the shower wall. He hissed at the coldness on his back. I smiled and dropped to my knees, taking his rock hard length in my hands.

“You want it Alex?” I asked hoarsely, sticking my tongue out licking his tip. He groaned, throwing his head back on the wall. “Tell me what you want.” I spoke, stroking his roughly, hearing loud moans escape his mouth.

“I want it all.” He moaned out, heavily breathing. I smiled, and nodded complying with his plee.

“Watch me.” I said, before I took him in my mouth. His eyes stayed on mine, as my head bobbed on his rock hard cock. I started deep-throating him, moaning against him, sending vibrations to him. He moaned, gripping my hair.

I suctioned his cock, slowly rising myself to his tip. I made a pop sound as I pulled off from him. I grabbed his cock with my hand, pumping him and turning my wrist for a fuller effect. I dropped my head, pulling in his left ball in my mouth, sucking on it while I pumped him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, baby.” His hoarse voice sounded through my ears. I smiled, pulling away from his nut, making the popping sound once again. He bunched my hair up, balling it in his fist as I took him fully back into my mouth.

I stared into his eyes, watching his face in pleasure. I cupped his nuts in my hand, massaging them as I blew him. His eyes closed as I took my hand away, from his cock, allowing him to fuck my mouth.

“Fuck, baby.” He moaned, picking my up, laying his lips back on mine. He tore away after a few moments of ravaging my mouth. He turned me around, bending me over. He picked my legs up and laid them against his shoulder, taking my pussy in his mouth.

“Fuck Alex!” I moaned loudly, as his hold grew tighter around my waist. I felt his finger slip through my folds, as he bit my clit, humming and sending the vibrations through my body. I wrapped my left arm around his hips, taking his cock in my mouth.

“Fuck, baby I love your pussy.” I heard him say from above, before he added two fingers in my pussy. I moaned on his cock, feeling him shudder against me. I tasted the salty pre-cum from his tip. He ran his tongue quickly over my swollen nub and folds.

“Fuck Al!” I moaned out, trying to get out of his grip. I heard him chuckle.

“Had enough?” He asked, bringing his hand up and spanking my ass. I groaned heavily, as he laughed and turned me over. He went back for another round with my clit. I brought myself up, locking my hands around his neck, burying him deeper in my pussy.

He turned us around, pushing me back to the wall. His tongue flicked my clit repeatedly; I couldn’t help but to let my moans roll. I felt the fire ball in my stomach burn, as he assaulted my pulsing nub.

“God, fuck, Al.” I moaned, tearing his head from my vicinity. I stared in his lust filled eyes, laying my lips on his, tasting my juices. He slid my legs down, holding me up as his tongue danced with mine. I felt his cock slide into my pussy.

“Fuck baby.” He moaned against my lips. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, clutching on his shoulders for dear life. He pressed me firmly against the wall, thrusting in and out. His lips found my neck once again, his right hand played with my right nipple, rolling it in his fingers.

“Alex,” I moaned, closing my eyes, laying my head against the wall. His tongue trailed from the valley of breasts to my voice box, biting it. I moaned in pure pleasure. Everything about him, everything he was doing to me, every inch of my body was in pure ecstasy.

He grinned against my throat, bringing his lips to mine. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, pounding in and out.

“Fuck, Al. I’m close.” I moaned against his lips, causing him to speed up.

“Me too baby, me too.” He replied, “Cum with me baby.” I nodded in reply.

I pushed my lips on his, taking his tongue with mine. I pulled away, trailing kisses down his cheek and neck. I laid my head on his shoulder, turning my face to his neck. I kissed up to his ear, taking his ear in my mouth, nibbling on it. I heard him growl, which made me smile against him. I bit his neck, flicking my tongue over the brought up skin. The burning fire was growing bigger which every thrust. He ground his hips against me, hitting my g-spot every time.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m cumming!” I growled, clinging onto him, holding him as close as possible. Feeling my walls clench around him, hitting my orgasm.

“Fuck babe, me too!” He groaned, thrusting faster releasing his seed to coat my walls. Our heavy breathing unified. We rode out our orgasms, until he became drained. He leaned his head on my shoulder, catching his breath. I ran my fingers through his damp hair and kissed his temple.

He looked at me and smiled, leaning his lips on mine for one last kiss. He picked me up and placed my feet back into the tub floor. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a loving hug.

“That was the best I’ve ever had.” He whispered, kissing my head. I nodded against his chest.

“That was mine too, Al.” I said placing my chin on his chest, looking up at him. He brought his lips down on mine, kissing them lightly.

“We need to shower quickly before the water gets cold.” He said, reaching around me grabbing the body wash and loofa. He placed me under the water, wetting my hair for me. I smiled as he poured the body wash on the loofa and started washing me. After I was finished, I returned the gesture washing him.

He and I both put shampoo on our heads. He washed mine as I washed his thoroughly. He smiled, and put some of the suddy bubbles on my nose. He kissed me and rinsed my hair. I added conditioner in my hair as he rinsed his. After he finished rinsing, I got back under the shower head and rinsed my hair clean of the conditioner.

“You done?” I asked, before I turned the shower off. He nodded and stepped out, he grabbed a towel, opening it up and putting it around me. I thanked him by giving him a towel and wiping him off, then wrapping it around me. He smiled and leaned down taking my lips with his.


He grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the bedroom. I giggled as we fell on the bed. He propped himself up on his side and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips. I looked at him with full admiration. “You are so beautiful.”

“Guys can’t be beautiful.” He said, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Well, you are.” I said, laying on my back and looking at him. His lustfilled eyes raked over my body.

“No, you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my whole life.” He said, “That’s never changed.”

“You haven’t changed either.” I whispered, turning on my side facing him.

“I have, I’m not that same guy I was.” He said, running his finger down my side.

“I know, I’m proud of you.” I replied, rolling over to the nightstand beside my bed. I opened the draw and grabbed the pictures of him and I before he left for tour. We were posing silly in some of the pictures, one he had his leg wrapped around me and he was dipped back. The other one, he got behind me and had his arms wrapped around my neck; the smiles on our faces… you could see them miles away—it was one of my favorite ones.

I looked at his face as he was looking at them. The glint that he once had in his eyes was back. He smiled looking at each one. He got to my favorite, it was one of us asleep. He had his arms wrapped around me, my head on his shoulder as we faced each other. Both of us were smiling in our sleep. Another one, he studied for a minute, but laughed. It was one that he licked my cheek, my face was a look of playful disgust.

“These bring back so many amazing memories. I had the best childhood with you… everything is better with you.” He said, “I hate that I was so stupid.”

“Al, don’t.” I said sitting up, crossing my legs Indian style. “Listen to me, and listen good; that was the past. I think we’re grown enough that we can move on.”

I laid his wet head in my lap. Here we were naked as jay-birds, just enough each other. “But how can you even want me in your life?”

“Al I thought about it a lot. I rather have you back in my life. We’re mature adults, what happened back then needs to stay back then. It doesn’t need to come now. We can start over—I’m sure I have enough of time to pencil you in.” I said, making him laugh. He nodded and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You know I still love you, right?” He asked, kissing my stomach. I nodded, running my fingers through his hair.

“I still love you, too.” I replied, leaning down and kissing his head. “That won’t ever change.”
“Good.” He started, “let’s get some sleep.”

“Sounds good to me.” I replied, looking at the clock 1:23 AM. I laid in the bed, under the covers with my back to him. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me to him; his chest flush against my back. He kissed my shoulder and ran his right arm under my head. I snuggled into him, and cut the lamp off.

“Goodnight Mada. I love you.” He whispered, kissing my shoulder once more.

“Goodnight Al. I love you.” I whispered in reply, entwining my fingers with his. My eyes drew heavily, and before I knew it, I fell into a deep slumber with a smile on my face.

The next morning came way too early; I groaned as I saw 11:14 AM on my alarm clock. I checked my phone, which I had several missed calls from Nick, Leighanne, Brian, Leigh, Kris and Lauren as well as several text messages. I sat up, noticing that I was alone in my bed. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around, seeing a note on the pillow that AJ laid his head on.

Madalay, I’m sorry I had to leave. I shouldn’t have used you like I did last night. Last night was incredible, but it was incredible for all the wrong reasons. You are far away from a rebound. By the time you read this, I’ll be back in California at home. Kaci and I talked this morning, and we’re going to try to work things out. I’m sorry about everything. –Alex

Well, if that wasn’t a punch to the gut, I don’t know what is. I opened my missed messages from Kris first.

Call me ASAP. We need to talk! Love you.

Lay, please call me babe.

Lay, answer the damn phone!

Don’t make me come to Florida!

That’s it! I’m on my way!

I sighed, and pressed the phone icon by her name. After one ring, she answered. “Lay, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, why?” I questioned, reading the note once more.

“I know what happened… he left didn’t he?” She asked, I nodded my head, tears coming out my eyes.

“Yeah, Kris… I got to go. I’ll call you later. Love you.” I rambled, hearing an ‘love you’ back before I hung up. I scrolled through the messages and read the ones from Leigh.

Hey babe, I’m sorry about what happened. Call me okay? Love you sweetie.

Please answer me, don’t lock me out. I’m furious as it is.

Do I need to beat his ass? I will.

I love you Lay. You deserve the world.

I gave in and tapped the phone icon by her name. It took to the voicemail, I left her a short voicemail, then ended the call. I started reading Lauren’s messages.

I’m pissed. Nick just tore him a new one.

We aren’t stupid, we knew he was going to you.

He’s stupid as fucking hell going back to that bitch.

I love you Madalay Ramirez, never forget that.

I’m on my way to you. Boarding the plane now.

I sighed and shook my head, thinking about last night. It was amazing, something I never experienced before… somewhere deep down, I knew this would happen. I looked at Nick’s messages… he was livid.

I don’t know who he is anymore, Lay. I’m so sorry about this. Please, please don’t make any hasty decisions. Lauren and I will be there shortly. We love you beautiful!

You must still be asleep, I have you to know that I tore into him once he got home. I barged in and he was making out with her on the couch. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach… I love you.

I smiled sadly reading Nick’s texts, they were enough. I looked at Leighanne’s name, scared to even read what she sent.

What in the hell Lay? He just uses you and leaves? What kind of man is that?

Brian said call him babe. Please do. We need to know you’re okay.

It’s been ten minutes, please call me. We love you so much Lay.

Lay please call me ASAP. Bay and I are going to my moms for the week, Brian is coming down there.

I went ahead and started looking through the messages Brian left. His scared me really.

Let me get my hands on his punk ass. I cannot believe this. I thought he was making progress, not digressing. Lay, babe, I am so freaking sorry. You deserve nothing but the world, one day one man is going to be a lucky son of a bitch to call you his.

I just got off the phone with him. It’s like he’s not even phased. I’m to the point where I can pinch his head off and call it a damn day. He’s not the man I thought he was. He hasn’t changed—hell he should be kissing your feet trying to make things right.

Fucking AJ, fucking moron. I don’t know how in the hell he could fuck something up again. Lay I love you.

I pressed the phone icon by Brian’s name. After four rings he answered. “Lay?”

“Hey Bri.” I muttered, laying back in my bed.

“Baby talk to me.” He said, making the tears fall faster.

“It was stupid of me to think he changed. He’s still the same ole AJ. Everything he said last night was so beautiful. I should’ve went with my head and stomach instead of my heart. Deep down, I knew something like this would happen. I don’t even know why I’m upset.”

“Because he played you, babe. He got what he wanted and left—it’s not that you’re the problem… he still have problems to figure out. He needs to do them fast.” He said quickly, making me laugh.

“I’m fine Bri, I promise.” I reassured, but I knew he wasn’t having that. “From now on, it will only be professional between him and I.”

“I know baby, listen, Leighanne and Baylee are going to her parents, I’m coming down. We need to talk about some other things as well, okay?” He wondered, I nodded as if he could see me.

“Okay Bri. If I’m not here, I’ll be at the studio.” I replied, walking to my bathroom and running the shower.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” He said, “I love you Lay.”

“I love you Bri. Please be careful, Nick and Lauren are coming as well. Let me know when you’re close.” I replied, “And tell Leigh and Baylee I love them.”

“I will Lay, bye darlin.” He said before he hung up. Before I sat my phone down, I pulled AJ’s number up, clicking the message icon beside it. As a new message opened, I started typing, and before I knew it, I sent it.

I don’t know what to say, AJ, I really don’t, except for I got your note. It was cute by the way; something you’d do. Tell a girl what they want to hear and you leave the next morning. I don’t know why I let my guard down again with you, but rest assure it’s going back up. I can’t put myself through any more of this. I don’t know what kind of game this is to you, but this is my life. You said you changed… where? You’re shoe size, because it’s not the person that changed at all. You’re still the same ole AJ. See ya around.

I jumped in the shower, and took a quick bath. Once I got out, I was dressed. I grabbed my Nike Shox and put them on before hopping up and walking downstairs to the kitchen. I mixed me a banana and peanut butter milkshake, then wrote Nick, Lauren, and Brian a note telling them I was at the studio.

As I finished, I was off towards downtown to the studio. That was the only place I can repent built up anger. Once I got there, and cut the lights and the air conditioner on, then changed into my jazz shoes, and tucked my shirt up into my bra. I plugged the iPod that Brian gave me and hit We’ve Got It Goin’ On then shuffle. I stood twenty feet away from the mirror and started dancing. He showed me the old videos last week, and somehow I couldn’t shank the dance moves—he called that day the Backstreet Day; somehow it was dubbed as that, only Brian could come up with a name like that… Mr. Originality.

As Everybody came on, I started doing different dance moves on the beginning chorus, I remembered Brian saying they were all different for each tour. As the chorus came on, I did the same routine as the video, all the way through the end. Coming up to the last stance, I heard clapping from behind me.

I turned around and saw Fly, Nick and Lauren sitting in the blind spot of the studio. “I’m guessing those dance moves stuck?” Brian asked with a big smile.

“Funny thing is, is that I helped Fly coordinate all the choreography and didn’t even know it.” I said, wrapping my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Learn something new every day.” He said, kissing my cheek. Nick and Lauren walked up, hugging me tightly between the two of them.

“You okay?” He asked, looking down; his bright blues darker than normal.

“I’ll be okay if I have two fifths of the Backstreet Boys accompanying me to some dancing.” I said, winking at Lauren, who just giggled and nodded.

“Well, My Lady, one Queens wishes shouldn’t go unlooked, Nicholas lets accompany this beautiful Queen to dancing moves.” Brian said in a terrible English accent. Nick and I looked at each other with furrowed eyebrows then laughed.

“Come on gorgeous steeds!” I called, turning around as Quit Playing Games went off. Get Down sounded through the studio, that was one of my favorites. I started doing what I felt, until it got to chorus choreography that was on the live tours—thank god that didn’t change. Brian, Nick and I were having a blast, as Fly got up and joined in doing different dances in the background, Lauren videoed the whole thing.

Don’t Want to Lose You Now popped up, making me look at Brian. Fly said he wanted to see a story. Brian stood to the side, as Nick, Lauren and Fly sat in front of the mirrors. I started walking slowly to Brian until Nick started singing.

I never thought that I would lose my mind, that I can control this. Never thought that I’d be left behind, that I was stronger than you.

I rolled my neck, kneeling down and rolling in front of him. He walked in front of me, I got up and wrapped my arms around his waist, he held my right hand with his left spinning me around to him, and twirled me in front of him.

Baby, girl if only I knew what I’ve done, you know so why don’t you tell me? And I, I would bring down the moon and the sun to show how much I care.

I walked backwards as he walked towards me, I acted like I was going to fall forward, he reached out and caught my hand, spinning me around slowly and pulled me to him.

Don’t want to lose you now, baby, I know we can win this. Don’t want to lose you now, no no, or ever a again.

We were in classic dance stance, doing a small two step to the beat. He held one hand and pushed me out, then I rolled in.

I get this feeling, you’re not gonna stay. And it’s burning within me, yeah. The fear of losing, of slipping away it just keeps getting closer.

I pushed myself from him, losing his hand, walking towards the wall of the studio. I turned around gracefully, staring at Brian. We walked halfway, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

Whatever reason to leave that I’ve had, my place was always beside. And I, wish I didn’t need you so bad, you’re face just won’t go away.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and twisted around him to where our backs were flush against each other. Our hands were entwined, palm in palm, I bent down and turned, so we were facing each other.

Don’t want to lose you now, baby, I know we can win this. Don’t want to lose you now, no no, or ever again. Don’t want to lose you now, don’t want to lose you now.

We were in classic dance stance, doing a small two step to the beat. He held one hand and pushed me out, then I rolled in.

I never thought that I would lose my mind, that I can control this. Never thought that I’d be left behind, that I was stronger than you, whoah!

Tears pricked my eyes, hearing AJ’s voice. I twisted around in front of Brian, rolling my head. I rolled onto the ground. He grabbed my hand, spinning me around on the floor and pulled me up, holding my close, then letting me fall back, then back up.

Don't want to lose to loneliness, ohh, girl I know we can win. Don't want to lose to emptiness, yeah, oh no, ever again. Don't wanna lose you now, (Don't wanna lose to loneliness) (No way) Baby, I know we can win this, (Girl I know we can win this).

He and I did the small two step, I wiped my cheeks, and kissed his cheek. He held my hand and rolled out then in to him.

Don't wanna lose you now, (Don't wanna lose you now), No no, or ever again, (We just begun this). Don't want to lose you now, (Oh we know we can win this). Don't want to lose you, (Don't wanna lose you, yea). No, no, forever again, Don't wanna lose you now.

My back was flush against his chest, he rolled me out, bringing our arms up and boxed them so we could look at each other. We walked around to the beat, he rolled me out hastily then back in, our palms flush against one another. We were so close, our noses were touching; on the last ‘Don’t wanna lose you now’, we slowly brought out hands down to our sides.

The applause from Nick, Fly and Lauren erupted in my ears; but there were another set of claps. I looked to our left and saw Leigh and Howie. I smiled and ran over to them, hugging them tightly.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Leigh said, kissing my cheek. “Are you okay baby?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Come, we’re dancing.” I said, pulling her and D behind me. “We got three fifths!”

“D! Leigh!” Lauren exclaimed, as she called Leigh over to her. Leigh took a seat beside Lauren and started talking to her. Fly, Brian, Howie, Nick and I started going over Larger Than Life, It’s Gotta Be You, and Get Another Boyfriend.

“Can we kick AJ out and have Lay to take his place?” Lauren asked, as she filmed us, “She has better moves than yal.”

“No, BSB needs AJ, just like BSB needs these guys and Kevin.” I replied, drinking some water before we started with Get Down again. The five of us got in sync and we were killing it. This was one of my favorite upbeat songs ever. After that was finished, my favorite song of all time by them Don’t Want You Back sounded through the studio speakers. I smiled and started dancing to the beat, way differently than they did on the live shows.

I looked at Leigh and Lauren and smiled as I danced, I noticed they were recording me, but I didn’t mind. I slid on the floor, spinning on my back, I did Nick’s favorite move the Kip Up. I looked over at him and saw him smile. I shook my head and kept dancing, moving every ounce of my body for it. At the end of the song, I turned with my back facing the mirrors, I did a few hip rolls, then dropped to my knees and leaned back.

Applause filled the studio, I stood up and grabbed the towel to wipe my face off. Sweat was rolling down every crevice it could, which I didn’t like. I grabbed my water bottle and sat in front of Lauren and Leigh.

“I wish you would talk to us.” Leigh said, bringing me back to reality.

“I’m sorry, what’s up?” I asked, looking between the two of them. Leigh sighed and took my hand in hers, “I’m fine Leigh, I promise.”

“No you’re not. You’re heartbroken, Lay.” She said, Lauren agreed, “It’s understandable.”

“I thought things were going so much better. I knew I shouldn’t have given in that easily. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I got shitted on. I’m hurt, I really am, but I choose not to dwell on that.” I said, “When am I ever going to be good enough?”

“Baby you are better than anyone I know! I don’t ever want to hear you say that!” Leigh exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at me.

“I wasn’t enough then, I’m not enough now. I’ll be fine.” I said, drinking the rest of my bottle. I looked at the time, I didn’t notice we’d been there for over three hours. “I think it’s time for us to go back to mine.”

“Okay.” Lauren and Leigh said, as they stood up. Both ladies reached a hand out to me, and helped me up. I kissed their cheeks and grabbed my bag from the bench. The guys met us at the door—I sighed and walked to my Denali and got in, everyone but Fly followed suit. We each said our goodbyes and headed back to my house.

Once we got there, I took a shower—it was graciously needed! Once I washed every inch of my body, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a black towel, before I walked in my room. I screamed, seeing Denise sitting on my bed.

“Denise what in the world?” I asked, seeing her face—she was crying. I walked quickly over to her and kneeled in front of her. “Den, talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“I know you’ve had a bad morning, but Marcus just called me. Alex is in the hospital, he’s in a coma.” She cried out. My eyes widened with shock, he’s in a coma? How? Why?

“What happened?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her, letting her cry in my shoulder.

“He got in a fight when he got home. Someone was in his house, Marcus said that he was on the phone with him when everything happened.” She cried, as I took the information in.

“Let me get dressed,” I said, running out my room, standing at the top of the stairs. “Brian!”

“We leave in thirty minutes. I have clothes packed.” He called, I nodded and went back into my room. I got dressed quickly—in five minutes I was done. Denise and I walked downstairs, meeting everyone. The seven of us got into the Denali and headed towards the airport. After checking in, going through airport security, we were on our flight heading to LAX.

I sat with my head leaning against the window… how could he be in a coma? I felt a hand on mine, I looked at Brian with tears in my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him. “Why did this happen?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll find out everything. I promise.” He whispered, I nodded as the tears fell freely.

“Leave it to AJ to do something before we leave for tour.” Nick said behind us, making everyone, including Denise laugh.

“He always had a way of bringing in the new tour.” Howie added, making Brian and Nick nod.

“That’s true. I want to be mad at him for what happened today… but I want him to be okay so I can let into him.” Brian said, “Are you okay Lay?”

“I’ll be better when I can see him.” I whispered, laying back against the window. I played the iPod, it was AJ’s song, Lay Down Beside Me. It was a personal favorite, so much sex appeal, so much Alexander James McLean.

Something about the way you moved. That caught my eye, I really did have to try it, yes. I can't deny it, the way your body swayed. As I watched you from behind, that got me so excited. How could I fight it, baby let me be the one to hold you. To give you the things I know you need, you know that we could wait another life time, and we can never find a love just like this.

If you lay down, lay down beside me. You can get all inside me, and I can get all inside you too. If you lay down, lay down beside me, You can wake up beside me, forever, Forever and ever. Forever and ever, baby.

Let's take this chance to get to know each other better. Baby we will discover that we can be more than lovers, I'll give you what you need. Just come to me and get it, baby you won't regret it.

No, no, no baby. Baby move a little closer, yeah, I wanna feel your body next to mine, and before this night is over, you will know what it means, to make love until you scream.

I was anxious to see him. I wanted him to be okay, even after everything from years ago to last night. The iPod died during the song, I took the earphones out my ears and put it back in my carry on. I closed my eyes and fell into a light slumber—all I could see was AJ’s face.

“Lay babe, come on. We’ve landed.” I heard Brian’s hushed voice in my ear. I jolted up and grabbed my carry on and followed behind everyone. Q met us with a Tahoe; we got in and got comfortable; before I knew it we were at the UCLA Health. I sighed and followed everyone into the hospital, I was in my on little world.

We saw Marcus sitting in the hall, with his head hanging down. Denise called his name, he jumped up and hugged her, along with the guys. Denise went immediately in his room. He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you Madalay?” I looked up at him and nodded.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Marcus, I just wish it was under different circumstances. I’m J’s bodyguard.”

“Nice meeting you as well, and I wish it was different as well.” I said with a small smile. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I noticed Denise emerged in tears. “Can I see him?”

“Yeah, only one at a time until the Doctor comes back.” He replied, making me nod. I looked at the guys and girls, who all told me to go. I bit my lip and walked to his door, with one look back, I took a deep breath and opened the door.

I gasped loudly, seeing AJ laid in the hospital bed hooked up to several machines including a ventilator. Hot tears brimmed my eyes, as I walked closer to his bed. I laid my hand on his, feeling his sickly cold skin against my warmth. I bit my lip, trying to suppress the tears, but they wouldn’t stop falling.

“Al please wake up.” I whispered, gripping his hand with mine, “Please wake up. Your mom needs you, the guys need you…I need you. You’ve once again have become an important part of my life—I don’t know why I didn’t stop you from doing so, I guess I still had hope. Everything that’s happened in the past week, and the past years I can overlook… I just want you awake and in good health. Last night meant a lot to me, more than anything. I know you decided to go back to Kaci, and that’s okay.”

His heart monitor started going off hastily. I read his blood pressure, 130/83, his heart monitor started jumping. His sugar levels were fine, his O2 Stat was 98%. I reached behind me and grabbed a chair, pulling it under me.

“Al I want you to know that with whatever you decide to do from here on out, I’ll support, even if it’s seeing you with someone else. I don’t know what all Kaci said to you when yal talked, but it was a complete turnaround—I thought we were past that. But it’s okay, I’m used to it by now. I’ll be forever alone, but I’ll rock that shit. Just please wake up, okay?” I questioned, caressing his hand with the pad of my thumb. “You have visitors and it’s rude for you to keep them waiting.” I finished with a small laugh, his heart monitor quickening up a tad. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his forehead, his heart monitor going off quicker. “I do love you Al. That won’t ever change.”

I stood up and walked towards the door, opening it and seeing the Doctor talking to Denise and the others. I slid out and stood beside Marcus, I couldn’t help but to think about AJ. I looked up at Marcus, who gave me a small smile. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, bringing me into him. It broke my heart hearing Doctor Shumake tell Denise that he didn’t know what would happen when he woke nor did he know when he would wake.

“There is a good chance of Alexander may or may not have a case of retrograde amnesia. People suffering from retrograde amnesia are more likely to remember general knowledge rather than specifics. Recent memories are less likely to be recovered, but older memories will be easier to recall due to strengthening over time. Retrograde amnesia is usually temporary and can be treated by exposing them to memories from the loss. Another type of consolidation, process by which memories become stable in the brain, occurs over much longer periods of time/days, weeks, months and years and likely involves transfer of information from the hippocampus to more permanent storage site in the cortex; he was hit in the occipital lobe-- back of the head.” Doctor Shumake explained, my palms became clammy, Marcus ran his hand up and down my back, trying to calm me down.
“You can go in and talk to him, that’s been said to pull patients out of a coma.” The doctor added before walking away.

“I need to talk to you, Brian, Nick and Howie as soon as I can.” Marcus said, I nodded and walked to Brian, who wrapped his arms around me.

“Marcus needs to talk to me, you, Nick and Howie.” I said in his ear. He nodded and told Howie and Nick to follow us, and for Leigh and Lauren to stay with Denise. The five of us walked down the hall, to the waiting room.

“I was on the phone when everything was going on. He said that a man, the same one that he caught Kaci cheating on him with barged in his house. Kaci chose to go with the guy. From there, they were fighting and the guy took the baseball bat by J’s door and hit him over the head with it.” Marcus explained, I started shaking.

“Wait til I get my hands on her, and him if I find him, too.” I gritted out, as the tears fell out of my eyes. “He left me to go back to that, and this is what happens. Isn’t that just perfect?”

“Calm down babe.” Nick said, rubbing my shoulders, “Just stay calm until we figure all this out.” I nodded and laid my head on Brian’s shoulder, biting my lip.

“So what do we do?” Howie asked, looking at the four of us. “Postpone the tour?”

“We wake his ass up.” I said, “We have to keep talking to him.”

“Sounds like a game plan.” Howie said, before we started walking back towards his room. We all sat out in the hall as Denise was in with AJ. We started talking amongst ourselves.

“You guys remember when we started in the band? AJ came to us with a full song?” Brian asked with a smile on his face.

“I’ll Never Break Your Heart.” Nick said with a smile that mirrored Brian’s.

“I remember that. I remember he had For My Angel written at the top.” Howie said with a bright smile. “It took us forever to figure out who Angel was, because it was on everything he wrote: My Angel, My Angel 1, My Angel 2, My Angel 3, so on and so forth.”

“Who was it?” Lauren asked, looking at Nick.

“Me.” I said, biting the inside of my lip, “When we were younger he always called me Angel, when we got older it was Mada. He left it in my locker during our freshman year. I was dating this guy and I really liked him, he ended up cheating on me with one of my girlfriends because I didn’t want to have sex. It hurt like a motherfucker.”

“That’s so romantic.” Leigh said dreamily, making me blush. “I knew he was romantic, but not like that.”

“He was something back then, I’m sure through the years he brushed up on everything. I told him that I was writing off guys, he asked me out and I said no, because I was too hurt from that. I lost my virginity to him when I turned 15, we were both virgins.” I said almost in a trance, I wasn’t always this open about my non-existent love life.

“Really?” Nick asked, breaking out his bright smile. I nodded and chuckled.

“Yeah. One of the breaks yal had was the week of my birthday. Three weeks before my dad walked out on me. I stayed with Denise until she left with yal, then I stayed with Grams and Gramps.” I said, “But anyways enough of that. Let’s talk about something happy.”

“What about those pictures of Lay and AJ that he has in his wallet?” Howie said, looking at the guys, who nodded.

“And his bunk.” Nick added, with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“That was you?” Leigh asked, her eyes widened. I nodded and giggled.

“I have those same pictures back home. I’m telling you when we were younger we were attached.” I said with a small smile.

“Does he still have Dopey?” I asked, looking at Brian, then Nick, then Howie.

“You know about Dopey?” Brian asked gaping, I nodded and smiled.

“I guess you don’t know the story do yal?” I asked, they all shook their heads. “Okay, the school we went to had a play we were both in. I was Snow White and he was Dopey—back then he had a lisp and a stutter, which made me love him even more. Anyways, he was chosen for Dopey… he didn’t have any lines, he just stood there—Dopey was a mute, he just moved his arms, hands, and body. Dopey was always my favorite dwarf.” I said with a smile, I loved talking about our childhood, “When he first went away with yal, I bought it for him. I remember he hugged me as tight as he could and said he was going to keep it forever as he teared up. He tried to come up with a way of stuffing me in his suitcase so I could come with him.” I laughed, as did the others.

“I can see him doing that.” Lauren said, Leigh agreed.

“He was a trip back then, always tried to figure ways to get me to go with him. I couldn’t though, I couldn’t leave dad alone.” I said, biting my lip. “The best memories with him are the ones that I won’t ever let go of: the good, the bad, or the ugly. I’ve always loved Al, I’ve always depended on him for a lot of things. I mean he was all I ever known, he was my only true friend.”

“I love hearing old stories, it makes me see that there is more in depth than what he leads on. He’s not just some pompous asshole.” Lauren said, shrugging.

“Damn Law, tell us how you really feel.” I said, making everyone including Marcus laugh.

“It’s true. You never know someone until you hear their war stories.” She said figuratively.

“True. I just wish things were different. I missed him every day. I always called Denise to see if he was okay, I always asked how he acted. She knew I missed him.” I said, sighing heavily.

Lauren excused herself to the bathroom, leaving us alone. “Only AJ could make someone so pissed off at him to being worried about him in a day.” Brian said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. We agreed one-hundred percent on that, only AJ could do that.

“I know yal are pissed about this morning or last night, whenever he decided to leave… but can we put it behind us?” I asked, looking at each of them, “As much as I want to be mad, I can’t.”

“We can, but I still want to talk to him.” Nick said pointedly, Brian and Howie agreed with him pretty much saying they wanted to talk to him as well.

“Just keep it civil. I hate hospitals for personal reasons.” I said, as Lauren walked back towards us.

“I called Kevin and Kris, they’re on their way here.” Lauren said, looking over at Brian and I. We nodded, I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder. I checked my phone, it was only 5:32 PM, Denise had only been in there for an hour. I knew she was tired, this took a big toll on her.

“Nick, why don’t yal go back to your house and take Denise with yal? She needs rest.” I said, standing up. He looked at Lauren and nodded. “I’ll go get her, I just need yal to take her home, and let her get a nap, some food, anything.”

“Okay Lay.” He said, as Howie, Leigh, and Brian stood up as well, stretching their bodies. “You’re going to get her?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back. I love yal.” I said, hugging each of them.

“We love you, Lay.” Brian said, kissing my forehead. I smiled and knocked on the door that restricted AJ from the real world. I heard Denise call for me to come in. I pushed the door open and saw her smile over at me.

“Den, why don’t you go with Nick and everyone, take a nap, get something to eat. I’ll stay here until you come back, okay?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her. She cried in my shoulder, holding onto me tightly.

“This has got me so crazy thinking.” She cried, “I feel so helpless. My son is in a coma. I’ve been talking to him, he’s showed little movement—his heart monitor kind of quickened. Can you talk to him?”

“Of course Den. I was going to do that anyway. We need to wake his ass up, he doesn’t belong to the world of sleep, he belongs here with us.” I said, kissing her cheek. She smiled and nodded. “If he wakes up, I’ll call you, I promise.”

“Okay baby, I love you. Thank you so much for this.” She whispered, hugging me once more. I smiled and watched her walk out of his room. I looked back at AJ and sat down in the chair that I was sitting in earlier.

“You know, you’re cute when you sleep, but this isn’t the sleep that suits you. That’s why you need to wake your ass up. I’ll sing to you so you’ll wake up and tell me to shut the fuck up.” I said, laughing lightly. His heart monitor sped up a little, making me smile.

“So, what song shall I sing to you? Our favorite from back in the day, or some grungy rock song? Okay, our favorite it is then.” I said, “You sure you’re ready Al?” I asked, hearing his monitor quicken. I started humming to Cry Little Sister by G Tom Mac.

The last fire will rise, behind those eyes. Black house will rock, blind boys don’t lie. Immortal fear, that voice so clear. Through broken walls, that scream I hear.

Cry little sister, thou shall not fall; come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

Blue masquerade, strangers look up, when will they learn, this loneliness. Temptation heat, beats like a drum, deep in your veins.

I will not lie to little sister, thou shall not fall. Come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

My Shangri-la, I can’t forget. Why you were mine, I need you now.

Cry little sister, thou shall not fall; come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

Cry, cry, cry; thou shall not fall. Little sister, thou shall not fly, thou shall not steal. Love is with your bother, thou shall not kill.

I felt his hand squeeze mine gently, “Come back to me Al. Follow my voice, and come back to me. Do you want me to keep singing?”

After I answered, his heart monitor beeped fast again. I smiled and started thinking of songs to sing to him—I picked I’ll Be Missing You by Sting, he used to sing this when we were little.

Every breath you take, every move you make. Every bond you break, every step you take; I’ll be watching you.

Every single day, every word you say. Every game you play, every night you stay; I’ll be watching you.

Oh, can’t you see, you belong to me; my poor heart aches with every step you take.

Every move you make, every vow you break; every smile you fake, every claim you stake; I’ll be watching you.

Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace, I dream at night I can only see your face. I look around but its you I can’t replace; I feel so cold and I long for your embrace, I keep crying baby, baby please.

As I sang the bridge, his grip on my hand drew tighter and tighter. My heart started racing faster and faster.

Every move you make, every vow you break. Every smile you fake, every claim you stake; I’ll be watching you.

After I finished the song, I thought it would be best to talk to him again. “Okay Al, this is getting old. This isn’t you. You are not the type to be in a hospital… I can’t believe you’re here, I can’t believe this happened to you. You must know I love you at least in the smallest epic portion that I can because you know I fucking hate hospitals. The smell is just gut wrenching. If I didn’t care for you as much as I do, I wouldn’t be here. Fucking be thankful I am, you know how I am when something fucks with my feelings… and you sir did that this morning.” I rambled, “It may not have meant something to you, but it meant something to me, a lot. It felt like we reconnected, I mean really. Think back to when we were kids. You were my first kiss, I was yours—I punched you in the stomach, and you cried like a big girl. I loved you then and I love you now.”

At a moment’s silence, I sighed, trying to come up with something else to say. I had a feeling that he knew I was talking but my luck, he would wake up and have amnesia and not even know who I was.

“I remember when my mom was in the hospital, I didn’t quite understand the consequences, I didn’t know that that was the last time I would ever see her again. What got me through it was you, and now it feels like we’re back to square one, but you’re not here to get me through it, it’s me that has to get you through it. I guess you were right when you told me I needed to quit depending on you. Some reason I can’t get past that, I don’t ever think that there will be a time that I won’t depend on you… even if it’s for a pick-me-up or for a smile—you always made me smile.” I said, laying my right cheek on our hands, so I could see him.

“It’s weird seeing you in here. When Denise told me, I couldn’t help but to think the worst. I didn’t know if today would’ve been the last day I saw you ever. I didn’t know the extent of your head trauma. I didn’t want you to leave without me saying goodbye and telling you what I needed to tell you. It scares me because you have me in the palm of your hands, that’s what scares me the most, and I think it’s because I know what you’re capable of.” I said, staring at him intently.

“I know you love me, when you told me you did I believed you, and deep down I still believe that. Brian and I talked, he said that some of the songs that you did write were about me they all had For My Angel on them. It’s weird just hearing that because of us not talking, I thought that you were done with me. I think how things would’ve been if that night didn’t happen, would we be together? Would we end up hating each other? I think about things like that a lot… more that I actually care to admit.” I said before I started humming I Still… I closed my eyes and let the words flow.

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it, Can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you. Like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last, to last. I

try to fight it, can't deny it. You don't even know. That I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you, whoah oh.

I wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I, will never let you go, oh. Though everything's been said and done, yeah. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

After finishing the song, I leaned up and kissed his forehead. I hovered over him studying his sleeping and peaceful structure. I watched as his eyes moved under his eyelids, “Come to me Al. Come back to me.” I whispered, watching his eyes flutter open. I smiled, “Welcome back, Al. Let me call your nurse to get you tube out, just keep calm, okay?”

He nodded scarcely, I pressed the Nurse Call button, “Yes?”

“He’s awake, can you take his tube out?” I questioned.

“Oh yes mam, right away.” She replied, making me smile.

“Okay, thank you so much.” I thanked her, before walking to the door and sticking my head out seeing Marcus still there, “Marc, he’s awake. The nurse is coming to take his tube out.”

He stood up and smiled, walking in behind me. We sat beside the bed, and waited for the nurse to come in. I grabbed my phone and called Denise, leaving her a voicemail telling her he was awake. I then sent a group text out: AJ’s awake, come quick!

The nurse walked in with Dr. Shumake, “Hey Mr. McLean, I’m Dr. Shumake, now, when I start taking out your tube, I need you to take a deep breath then breath out slowly, okay?”

AJ nodded and looked at me, I knew he was scared. He reached for my hand, I smiled and squeezed it gently. “I’m here.” The nurse was taking records of his stats off every machine.

“Alright, Mr. McLean, I need you to take a deep breath for me, then exhale as I pull the tub out, okay?” Dr. Shumake asked, AJ nodded, as his eyes adverted to me.

“Just do as he says, and look at me, okay?” I asked, he nodded and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly as Dr. Shumake pulled the tube out—his hand clenched to mine.

“Okay, Mr. McLean, take several breaths, let you and your lungs get re-calibrated. I’ll have Stacey get you some water and anything else you need, alright?” The Doctor asked, looking down at him.

“Okay.” AJ rasped out, “Can I get something for the headache I have?”

“Of course.” Dr. Shumake started, “I need to ask you some questions: What is your name?”

“AJ McLean.” AJ answered.

“Who is that woman beside you?” Dr. Shumake asked.

“My Angel.” AJ answered sheepishly.

“Who’s that man beside her?” Dr. Shumake questioned.

“My bodyguard, Marcus.” AJ replied.

“One more, what is today’s date?” He asked.

“March 21st.” AJ answered, making Dr. Shumake smile.

“Great, I’ll have your medicine to you in a few. Get some rest.” He said, looking at AJ. AJ nodded as he walked out the room, leaving Marcus, AJ and I alone.

“Everyone is on their way.” I said, looking at AJ, who smiled.

“You woke me up.” He whispered, I nodded and caressed his hand with my thumb. “Your voice is still as beautiful as it was when we were kids.”

“Thank you Al.” I replied, looking at Marcus. “Do you think he’ll be ready for tour?”

“He should be. I know the police has to talk to him; Kaci was supposed to open for the guys.” He said, making me furrow my eyebrows. For being in the music business, it seemed that I didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.

“Marcus can I talk to Mada alone for a few?” AJ asked Marcus, who nodded and stepped out the room quickly. “Thank you for being here. If I was you, I wouldn’t have even let the thought cross my mind. You didn’t deserve to wake up to a note, or anything like that. I am so sorry—I’m so stupid it’s unreal.”

“Stop Al. It’s water under the bridge.” I said, with a small smile, but he refused.

“It can’t be Angel; what I done can’t be over looked.” He said, sitting up in the bed.

“I can forget about it, don’t worry about it AJ.” I said, trying to forget about it, but I knew it was going to be impossible.

“I realized when I got to California what a mistake I did make. I shouldn’t have left like I did; I shouldn’t have left period. I need to quit running from my problems and when I get scared.” He said, I tried to speak, but he stopped me, “That’s been my problem all along. I run from everything, especially when I get comfortable and safe. When I read your message you sent me about the note, it cut me like a thousand knives. It hurt me knowing that I hurt you. And I promise from here on out, I will never hurt you again.”

“Al I forgive you, I promise. You’re still my Al.” I said, making him smile.

“You’re My Angel, My Mada.” He replied, I nodded as a knock on the door sounded. “Come in.” He called. It was the nurse, the guys and girls, and Denise. “Hey fellas, hey mom, hey ladies.”

“Oh baby, I’m so happy you’re awake!” Denise exclaimed, walking around on the other side of AJ, hugging him gently.

“Thanks to Mada, she pulled me out.” He said with a smile. I grinned and looked at Denise, who couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “How long have you been here Mada?”

“I don’t know, why?” I asked, looking at him.

“Marc take Mada to my house and let her rest, get her some food.” He said giving prompt directions to Marcus. I shook my head in dismay.

“No, I’m fine Al, I promise.” I said, “I can stay.”

“No, you can barely hold your eyes open. You’ve been here for a long time. Go relax, have a shower, eat and sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, looking at me. I went to say something, but he shook his head, “Go.”

I sighed, before I hugged everyone, saving AJ for last. I hugged and kissed his cheek before I turned and followed Marcus. Marcus and I got into the Denali and headed towards AJ’s house. Saying I was disappointed was an understatement; I was livid.

“Calm down.” Marcus said as we pulled into a Checkers to get something to eat. We both ordered, then started back talking, “So, AJ told me a lot about you.”

“Why would he do that?” I wondered, as we pulled up to the window.

“Because he loves you.” He said, looking at me as he handed the woman money for our food. I rolled my eyes.

“Really?” I asked quizzically. Marcus handed me our food and nodded, receiving the change from the woman at the window. He said a quick thanks and drove off.

“Yeah, it’s not really rocket science, Lay.” He said, looking over at me. I nodded absentmindedly, “He called me this morning, when he left Florida. You could hear the hurt in his voice as he walked away. He told me everything that happened years ago.”

“Oh, well, I’m an open book now, huh?” I asked, eating a seasoned fry from the bag.

“Him yes, you not so much. This past week, I couldn’t stop him from talking about you. He’s never done that ever over a lady. When I was first signed to him as a bodyguard, he was on a drunk bender one night, he spilled everything. You know, the only time I ever saw him cry other than at his grandma’s funeral was that night and any night that he had dreams. He spilled everything.” Marcus spoke as we went down the highway, I sat there listening attentively. “I will never forget what he said that night. I remember him crying out for you in the middle of the night, he’d wake up crying, hyperventilating, and scared. He was spiraling out of control.”

“I don’t know what to say, Marcus. I never wanted to see AJ go through that—after our childhood, he deserved the world. Denise deserves the world, as does the guys.” I said, “When he said those things, I’ll admit, it cut me live a knife. I always thought I hated him, but I didn’t. I was blinded by the hatred, but it wasn’t just that. Betrayal, hurt was what it was. I never resented him, I always wished well for him. If he was happy away from me, then that’s what it took—I would’ve been happy for him.” I said, looking over at him.

He seemed to understand, “I see what you’re saying. You’ve been there through the bad times and good times with him, granted they were when yal were younger… you knew when something was wrong with him.”

“Yeah, I’ll never forget the many nights that he cried after his dad walked out on him, and we were young as hell. My mom died when I was six, his dad actually left when he was eight. He and Denise were divorced when he was four, but Denise did everything possible to work it out with his dad. I sat up many night thinking about that night.” I said, lighting up a cigarette, “I’ll never forget the look on Denise’s face when he grabbed his shit and left. AJ cried, which made me cry. We were best friends; always attached to the hip, even up to when we started sophomore year before he dropped out for BSB full time.”

“You can’t break young love.” He said, looking over at me as we stopped at a red light, “That’s why you never hated him, just felt betrayed and hurt.”

“Marcus, you sure you’re not a therapist? I think you’re in the wrong field.” I said, smiling widely. He grinned and chuckled, then shook his head.

“Always been J’s bodyguard.” He said, pulling into AJ’s house. It was AJ to say the least, it scared me to see the inside, I’m sure I was about to step into AJ all over again—what a scary thought, the world already has one AJ McLean I don’t think it could handle an open house full of him.

Marcus and I got out the Denali and headed to the door. He unlocked it quickly, stepping inside as he looked around making sure everything was okay. I closed the door behind and took in the house full of AJ. It was beautiful, it was nothing but Alexander James McLean.

Marcus and I sat at the table and began eating our food in silence. After we finished, he showed me to AJ’s room, assured me that there was a new bed, new sheets on his bed as well. With a thank you, I turned into AJ’s room and looked around. There were pictures of us everywhere, it made me question everything.

I sat on the bed and sighed, before grabbing my phone and walked into the bathroom. I found chamomile and lavender bubble bath. I ran the garden tub full the bubbles brimmed the top. I stripped my clothes and slid in, letting the hot water consume me. My phone beeped notifying me of a text message; it was from AJ.

I miss you. I hope you sleep sweet. You don’t know how happy it made me to see your beautiful face, to hear your beautiful voice. Thank you for pulling me out. I love you Angel - Al.

I smiled, feeling tears brim my eyes. I breathed heavily and started to reply back.

I miss you, I could’ve stayed Al. I’m in a bubble bath in your beautiful tub. You don’t belong in a hospital bed in a coma. You belong in the real world with all of us. I wanted you out, you responded each time—at least your heart did. I love you Al.
I closed my eyes, waiting for a witty reply from him. As I settled in the tub, my phone beeped again.

I can’t believe you’re taking a bubble bath without me! That’s so wrong, can’t believe that! ;) Now all I can think about is that. The doctor said that he’s coming in in a few hours to run tests on my head. I wish you was here.

I replied as quick as I could:

I’ll come back. Marcus is down stairs still. Let me wash and get dressed and I’ll be back there in a blink of an eye.

Just as quick as I sent one, he replied:

NO, you need rest. You need to relax and sleep. There is a new bed, new sheets in my bedroom so sleep. Angel, I promise I’m okay. Calm down, and rest. I hope to be out of here by tomorrow. The day after we’re supposed to go to Boston for the video shoot.

I sighed feeling helpless. I wanted to be there for him.

Fine, you make me so mad I have you to know. That’s why your tub is filled with bubbles and a naked me. Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. You need to take your own advice and get some rest. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I turned the iPod on and started listening to More Than That. AJ’s voice swarmed the bathroom, I’ve always loved his voice. My phone beeped once more, I grabbed my phone and read the message.

That’s not nice! I would love to be there with you in MY tub with MY bubbles with MY Angel, but no I had to be stupid come back home and get knocked the fuck out. Now, I’m stuck here. The mean nurse just pumped my IV with some kind of medicine, my whole body is numb. I think she’s trying to get me to go to sleep. Please rest, okay?

I replied with a quick text back:

That’s easier said than done, Al. You need to sleep, now. I love you, and since you won’t let me come back tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, goodnight.

Before I knew it, he had replied:

I love you Angel, sleep sweet. Goodnight.

I put my phone on Do Not Disturb, and closed my eyes, sinking down in the tub. My body ached, it wasn’t all just from dancing like I did earlier that day; it was mentally aching. Falling into a light sleep—I jolted as my phone rang loudly, it was Brian.

“Hello?” I asked, standing up from the cold water. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.

“Hey Lay, you okay?” Brian asked, he was like a big brother to me.

“Yeah, I just got out the tub. Marcus and I ate, we’re at AJ’s now. I was told that there was a new bed and new sheets in AJ’s room. Oh my God, Bri, he has got pictures of us all over his room.” I rambled, making him laugh.

“I know,” He started, “You need rest big time. The Doctor came and got AJ for the head scan—you know how AJ is with tight spaces.” He and I laughed.

“Yeah, he was like that when we were kids. Are yal staying?” I questioned, getting ready for bed.

“I am, Denise is, too.” He replied, I nodded and pulled the covers back on AJ’s bed and laid down. I plugged my phone up and sighed. “You okay?”

“I will be. I want to be there, but he doesn’t want me to.” I said, closing my eyes.

“It’s not that, babe. He does but he knows you’re tired.” He said, making me nod.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you in the morning. Thank you Bri. I love you.” I said with a small smile.

“I love you Lay, you don’t have to thank me.” He replied, “Bye sweetie, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye.” I replied, hanging up. It wasn’t long before I fell into a deep sleep—I was in my own coma, I felt my body shut down with each breath I took.

“Angel, wake up.” I heard being whispered, “Angel, babe you need to wake up.” The voice I heard sounded so real. I jolted and sat up, seeing AJ in front of me.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, trying to find my phone, but couldn’t. “Where’s my phone? Why are you here?”

“I got discharged, the doctor said my head was alright.” He started, “Sleep good?” I nodded and yawned, looking around in the bed for my phone.

“Where’s my phone?” I asked, looking at him. He smiled and held it up. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him gently. “When did you get here?”

“Oh, about six hours ago.” He said with a small laugh, “Do you know what time it is?”

I shook my head and pulled away from him, laying back down. I looked at my phone for a second, then put it down. I brought it back up to my face and done a double take. It was already 7:30 PM, March 22nd. “What the fuck?”

“You were tired.” He said, shrugging. I rolled my eyes and slid out the bed.

“You’re a dick.” I replied before walking out his bedroom and downstairs. I yawned, walking where I heard the noise.

“Well, good morning Sunshine.” Brian said with a bright smile. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t know I was as tired as I was.” I said, sitting beside Denise. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in her lap. “I’m sorry I didn’t get up and go to the hospital this morning.”

“Baby don’t worry about that, okay?” She said, rocking us back and forth. I nodded against her shoulder and sighed.

“Lay is everyone’s big baby.” Kevin said, making my eyes widened. I slid out of Denise’s lap and jumped in his arms, hugging him tightly. He chuckled and kissed my head as he passed me off to Kris, who I loved on just as much. I returned back to Denise, as AJ finally come back down.

Denise held me close to her, it brought back memories. AJ sat on the right of Denise and I, “So, we have to be in Boston tomorrow night.” Nick said, scratching the back of his neck. I closed my eyes and groaned.

“I hate flying.” I said, dropping my head on AJ’s shoulder. “I need some Melatonin.” I grumbled out, making everyone laugh.

“Are you hungry baby?” Denise asked, tapping my leg. I nodded and stood up, pulling AJ up with me.

“Show me the kitchen, I’ll make a sandwich.” I said, he nodded and pulled me behind him to the kitchen. I went straight to the refrigerator. “Has everyone ate already?”

“Yeah, you’re the only one who hasn’t. So, my kitchen is your kitchen, eat whatever you want.” He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head.

“Thank you.” I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. I looked through his fridge, he didn’t have much. I found eggs, milk, butter and pancake batter. I took those three out quickly and shut the door. AJ had me a bowl and Cane Syrup on the counter and a griddle on the stove for me. “You’re such a good housewife.”

“Bite me.” He said, as he stood behind me. I leaned over and bit his bicep. He jumped and looked down at me, eyes widened. I giggled and started mixing the pancakes together with an egg and milk. After I finished, I added butter on the griddle, letting the butter melt before I started pouring two pancakes on.

Five minutes later, my pancakes were done, and I was starting to mix my two eggs. After I mixed them, I poured them on the griddle, letting them scramble together. Once they were finished, I turned around and saw AJ staring at me. I furrowed my eyebrows, “Yes sir?”

“Nothing, I haven’t seen you be so into something in a while.” He said, looking at me.

“What? I don’t want my food to burn!” I exclaimed laughing, as my eggs finished I took them up. He grabbed a plate and fixed it as I grabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper he had in his fridge. He put butter on my pancakes, stacked then drowned them in syrup.

“Come on you can eat in the living room and talk to everyone.” He said, carrying my plate to the living room, I followed behind him, and sat on the ottoman in front of AJ’s seat on the couch. He put my plate in front of me.

“Lord, please bless this food that will nourish my body. Jesus name I pray, Amen.” I prayed, then received Amen’s after. I cut my pancakes and began to eat, they were heaven. “You got me drowning in your love.” I sang, before I ate another one, everyone started laugh.

“Are you okay with flying Lay?” Kevin asked, I looked at him and nodded.

“I don’t like it, but I will.” I said with a small smile. “I just need something to keep my mind off of being in the air and having my life in the palm of the pilot’s hand.”

“Damn, now you got me scared to get on a plane.” Lauren said with a small laugh.

“Sorry Law.” I apologized, but I knew she was kidding, “So, we leave what time tomorrow?”

“Yal leave tomorrow at 3. I’m going back home, as well as Leigh.” Kristen explained, making me nod. “Denise leaves in the morning.”

“Why aint yal going?” I asked, looking at Leigh and Kris.

“Because babe, we have to get the guys ready for tour.” Leigh replied, I nodded and bit my lip. I pretty much inhaled my food, I was so fucking hungry it was unreal. The guys looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, I broke out in a smile and stood up, taking my plate to the kitchen and washing it, along with the bowl and griddle.

“You didn’t have to do that, I could’ve done those.” I heard AJ from behind me. I scoffed and shook my head.

“I made the mess, I clean it up. Have you forgotten your rule from when we were younger?” I asked, poking his chest. He chuckled and pulled me into him.

“How can I forget? It always backfired on me, though.” He said, kissing my neck. I shook my head and giggled.

“That is true. I always blamed it on you, Ma always made you clean up.” I said, as Denise walked into the kitchen.

“Get off my favorite child!” Denise explained, making me laugh as I stood back. She made a b-line to me and wrapped her arms around me. “Oh my favorite child.” I giggled at the sight of AJ’s face—he feigned hurt.

“You have her all the time, I want her for a little bit.” AJ whined, pulling me from Denise. I laughed and shook my head.

“It’s not my fault that you moved to California. If you were back home, you could see her all the time.” Denise argued playfully. AJ crossed his arms over my chest.

“Well fine, I’ll just move back to Florida.” He said in all seriousness. I furrowed my eyebrows and gaped, Denise mirrored me.

“What?” She sputtered out, I turned my head and looked up at him—he was still serious.

“I’ll move back to Florida.” He said, looking into Denise’s eyes. “I can be around you, Tony and her all the time. I’ve been thinking about for a while, I’ve been talking to Chad about finding a house down there, I mean, we’re gonna do more production down there.”

“I’ll be happy to have you back.” Denise said as she starting tearing up. AJ opened is arms, for a hug. Needless to say I was sandwiched. “It will be like old times, you two can even spend the night!”

AJ and I laughed, but continued to hug her. She sniffled and pulled away, smiling up at us. “My two babies, I’m glad yal are back together in a way.”

“This time it’s going to go like it should’ve been all along.” AJ said with a sincere smile.

“Good, you both deserve the world.” She said, kissing my cheek, then leaned over to kiss AJ’s. “I need to go get my stuff ready for tomorrow. I’ll be back down shortly.”

“Okay Den.” I said with a smile. I watched as she turned and walked away. I knew with what AJ said, it made her happier than ever. I knew she missed him—I heard it every time I saw here, which was every day. “You made her day, her year even.”

“I was for real about it. I wasn’t blowing smoke up yal’s asses.” He said as I turned around. “I wouldn’t mind seeing this gorgeous face every day.” He added, trailing his finger along my jaw line. I smirked and licked over my lips.

“I can become very annoying so you’ll leave.” I said bitchily, batting my eyelashes.

“You do that already.” He argued playfully. I hit him with the back on my hand right about his precious family jewels. He doubled over, laughing out the pain. “You better run.”

My eyes widened, as I took off out of the kitchen to the living room where everyone but Denise was. I jumped in Marcus’s lap and curled into him. “AJ’s gonna get me, save me! Bri I need to be saved! Nick, D, Kev, please I need reinforcements!”

Marcus stood up and held me in a bridal position. “He can’t get you through me.”

“You work for him, and he’s a big,” I started, then yelled, “baby!” I heard him pad through the foyer and smiled sweetly when he saw me in Marcus’s grasp.

“I’m a baby? You’re the baby!” He exclaimed, stomping towards me, but only to be stopped by Nick.

As Nick stood up, AJ playfully grabbed him by the shirt, bringing the shirt over his head and pushed him out the way. Kevin stood up and stepped in front of him, play wrestling with him for a second before he fell to the ground. I couldn’t help but to laugh. Brian got up and pretended to be a ninja, AJ spun him around and brought him to the ground. Howie got up and become the Antonio Bandarras. My eyes widened as the two play fought for more than a couple of seconds; they both ended up on the floor, rolling around playfully before AJ got up, undefeated.

“Last one!” AJ said in a sinister voice. I furrowed my eyebrows and somehow managed to crawl on the back of Marcus. “You’re a fucking monkey!” AJ exclaimed, making everyone laugh. I stepped onto the couch, sitting on the back of it against the wall.

“I will save you from the Vader, Princess Lay!” Marcus called, getting into a fighting stance.

“Please sir Solo, I will be forever grateful!” I exclaimed, seeing AJ smile. He and Marcus started their rounds, pretending to fight with light sabers—I wish I was recording it, I looked over to the girls, who were all recording. I needed to thank them later.

With a swift moment, AJ took Marcus down. He looked up at me and chuckled, “You’re mine!” He exclaimed, grabbing me off the back of the couch and laying me on it, straddling my waist in the process.
“Al no!” I exclaimed, knowing exactly what he was fixing to do. “Please don’t!”

“Say I am the best man you have ever met in your life!” He exclaimed, “Say it!”

“I am the best man you have ever met in your life!” I exclaimed, hearing the girls laugh.

“You think this is funny beautiful?” He asked, leaning down til our noses touched. I shook my head and smiled, “Smiling doesn’t help your situation babe.”

“Fuck.” I whispered as I ground my hips with his. He groaned, just before he trailed his index finger down my face, then to my arm, then to my hips. He pressed his lips discreetly to mine, I trailed my hands down his chest to his ribs and dug my fingers in them. He jumped up, letting me gain access. I jumped on his back, wrapping myself around him tightly.

“The Venom Queen hath taketh my down!” AJ said in a Scottish accent, making the girls, me and the guys laugh. He fell dramatically to his knees, then his top part of his body hung on the couch. I leaned down and kissed the back of his head, I slid off, and felt him grab me once again, this time, his fingers danced over my abdomen, ribs and thighs.

“Al I’ll do anything if you stop!” I exclaimed, tears falling out my eyes from crying.

“Anything?” He wondered, furrowing his eyebrows. I looked up at him and nodded.

“Yes anything.” I surrendered, with a small smile.

“Anything as in go on a date with me?” He wondered, I nodded.

“Yes.” I said, making him grin. “Now, please stop with the tickling.”

“Okay, only because you said please.” He said, standing up, pulling me up with him. “And because you said you’ll go on a date with me.”

“That was smooth, Age.” Kristen said applauding his hard work. I chuckled and nodded, patting his shoulder.

“Very smooth.” I agreed, hugging him tightly. He kissed the top of my head and turned away, but only to be tripped over Marcus. I clutched my stomach, doubling over in a fit of giggles; tears well heavily. “Oh my fucking jeez, that was amazing. My stomach hurts.”

“It wasn’t funny.” AJ said, standing up and glaring playfully and the girls and I. I pursed my lips together and widened my eyes, trying to keep the laughter down, but I couldn’t. I busted out, laughing loudly.

“It was, Al. I wish I could’ve got that on video.” I said, stepping over Marcus, and passing him along the way.

“No, what would be funny is if I went and threw you in the pool.” He said, stalking behind me.

“You do and you won’t ever get a date from me, you can bet all the money you have on that, too.” I said, looking over my shoulder, his face fell. “I’m kidding babe, chill out, but seriously, don’t throw me in the pool.”

“Take the fun out of it all.” He whined, as I walked upstairs to his room. I checked my phone, I had a missed call from my abusive ex. I shuddered hearing the voicemail he left.

”You think you can leave? Bitch I will find you again, you can’t ever get away from me. Let someone try and stop me, it will be like last year all over again. I’ll push that needle back in your arm, all you will ever be is a crack whore. You better answer when I call next time.”

My stomach dropped, my breath became hollow, my throat felt as if it was closing, and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. “Who the fuck was that?” AJ’s voice boomed from behind me. I jumped at his voice and regretted having it on speaker phone.

“An ex of mine Al. I need to talk to Den.” I said, getting up and brushing past him. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, I couldn’t even look at AJ in his eyes. I walked down the hall and got to Denise’s room. I knocked lightly and waited until she said for me to come in.

“Den, I need to talk to you.” I started, “Like yesterday.”

“What is it baby?” She asked, looking up from her book. She read my face, saw the tears and stood up, wrapping her arms hastily around me. “Derick call you?” She wondered, I nodded against her shoulder, replaying the message.

“I’m scared.” I whispered, as I pulled back.

“He’s not going to touch you again, I promise you that, baby.” She reassured, I nodded and bit my lip. “I heard AJ ask who he was. You need to tell him.”

“How can I tell him something like that, Den? He’ll go fucking crazy.” I said, knowing how he would take the news.

“But he needs to know, baby.” She whispered, kissing my cheek. I nodded and mumbled a thank you before I walked out her room. AJ was standing adjacent, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“We need to talk.” Was all I said, I still couldn’t look him in the eyes. I walked straight to his room and sat on the bed, with him in tow. “Before I say anything, you have to promise me something.”

“Okay.” He said, picking his fingers.

“You have to promise me, not to say anything as I tell you this story. You wait to state your feelings and opinions after I’m done. And then when I finish, after you say what you want to say, you can ask any question you want pertaining to this.” I said, looking up at him.

“I promise.” He said, “I just want to say something… if he tries to come after you, it’s gonna take an act of God for him to get to you. Come hell or high water, you will be protected.”

“Thank you.” I said, getting off the bed with a pack of cigarettes in my left hand, I walked around the bed to him and held my hand out. He took it and stood, I led him out on his balcony. He took a seat, and pulled me in his lap before putting his feet up against the iron banister. I curled up in his lap, before lighting a cigarette. “You think your past was bad, but it wasn’t.”

“Talk to me, babe.” He pressed, lighting up a cigarette of his own. I sighed, thinking of a way I could start without being so blunt.

“After Grams died, I started spiraling out of control. I had no one but her and Gramps, unless Den was home and not on the road with you. I stayed with Grams the night before he passed—I didn’t want to chance of running into you. We talked that whole night, thinking back to when you and I were kids, til we grew apart. She always said that you and I were going to put everything behind us and be together like we were supposed to be.” I said, he smiled lightly—I knew he was feeling remorse about our past.

“I sat with her in the bed, she held me like she did at my mom’s funeral. The morning I left, the Doctor told me it wouldn’t be too much longer. I walked back in her room and gave her a big hug and a kiss. She told me she loved me more than anything in this world, just like she did you. She said we were her two babies.” I paused and whispered, “When we said goodbye, everything fell apart.”

“I went to a friend of mines, he had an eight-ball. That was the first time I done cocaine, and it scared me at the affect it had on me. I went to Havans, and met a guy, Derick. He and I talked for the longest time. I started drinking heavily that night, he took me home.” I said, taking a long drag of my cigarette. “He asked me if I usually drank like I did because I was just buzzing. I told him about Grams, I wanted to forget everything for a little bit. He said he could help.”

“After I heard the news of Grams’ passing, I got in touch with my friend. He came over and brought me some pick me ups. I had an eight-ball, three bottles of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Jim Beam Black. I snorted four lines, and had done downed a bottle of Jack alone.” I said, tearing up, “Den showed up, I hid everything from her. She had no clue that I knew of. She and I talked, I told her my thoughts about Gram’s viewing and funeral. I didn’t want to go to Gram’s viewing, I couldn’t see her like that and that be the last image of her in my mind. I didn’t go, and now, I regret that.”

“I was high and drunk at her funeral, that’s why I was late. I left before it was even over. I didn’t think I needed to be there, because she would’ve tore into me if she had known I was in that condition. Days, weeks, months later after that, it was an everyday thing—drinking and cocaine for a year and a half. By this time Derick and I were dating, Den came to me with an intervention. We both knew that rehab would be the best thing.” I took another drag, I glanced down at Al’s face, and he was shocked.

“I went to rehab in Miami. It was a private one, which was nice, I stayed in there for sixty days. When I got out, Derick was there to pick me up and to take me back home. When I got there it looked like no one lived at my house. Six months, everything was going fine. Derick started becoming possessive to the point where I lost my job that I had. It come to the point where everywhere I went I had to write down mileage, what I bought, and I had to call and check in with him.” I said almost robotically. “If someone called me, I could only answer when he was beside me. It got too much for me, I started back with cocaine and drinking when he wasn’t around.”

Tears started spilling out my eyes, “That went on for about six months. I couldn’t believe I fucked up my sobriety for him. I called Denise, I was a mess. I didn’t even look like my normal self, I started losing weight. I ended up killing my baby, and I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I didn’t have consensual sex with him, he raped me all the time. I had bruises all over my body, and not small simply love bruises, I’m talking about straight up black, purple, blue and yellow bruises.” I took another drag of my cigarette.

“Denise was with me when I found out I lost my baby. She was there for the police reports, she was there for everything. The night I went home, he was there. He was angry as hell. He beat me—I had broken ribs, broken wrist, he chocked me, I had two black eyes, my left eye socket was broken. He wanted me dead it seemed.” I said, as the tears fell from my eyes, “I’ll never forget what he told me, he told me that I should die like my child did because I was a coke whore and he knew I was cheating on him. He pushed a needle in my arm— he made me overdose. He left me there. Your mama saved me.” I said, sniffling and looking down at my hands.

“After I was out the hospital and on my feet good enough, I bought another house. I sold my car, got a new one. Denise told the police about Derick, he was incarcerated and shipped to FSP. I don’t know how he even called me, it was from his number… maybe he’s out. But anyways, that’s the story.” I said, putting my cigarette butt in the butt bucket.

“I will kill him. I—I just don’t understand how someone could be so cruel like that. He put the needle in your arm and I can’t… it’s made me sick to my stomach.” He said his dark eyes boring into mine. “The thought of you dying from that, I wouldn’t ever be able to forgive myself. I don’t even like the thought of you dying period.”

“You didn’t do anything babe.” I said, taking his hand in mine. “And I promise, it will take more than that to get rid of me.”

“You know what happened with me right?” He asked, I shook my head. “After I said those things to you, I started going downhill. I become a person I didn’t know anymore. I dated a girl named Amanda she was in a girl group—I thought we were doing well, but it wasn’t. I stopped doing cocaine, but I was still drinking a lot. She cheated on me, we broke up. It fucked me up a lot… because she couldn’t just break up with me, she had to cheat.”

“On the Black & Blue album, Grams got sick. I went to visit her in the hospital, I drank the whole time. I held her hand when she passed—that fucked me up even more. On the morning of the shoot for The Call, I did two lines off my key card of my hotel room. A buddy of mine told me he had something that would ease the pain. I was paranoid like hell, I was jittery, I made the mistake of offering Kevin cocaine.”

“Days went on, and it was the same thing, but I would go on stage drunk as hell. That was many tour nights. One morning we were in Boston and we were supposed to sing the National Anthem for the Red Sox game, but I was in a coke coma. I went days on staying up, thinking and contemplating life, that on the day that we were supposed to sing, I crash. I was barricaded in my room.”

“Kevin was pissed, very pissed. He knocked open the first door, but he couldn’t get to me, and I was glad of it. When I finally came to, he wanted to talk. We didn’t talk, we fought; saying awful things to each other… I will never forget when he looked me dead in the eyes and told me I was dead to him. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I told Marcus I quit. I called mom and told her everything, I knew I needed help. I wanted help. I called the private facility in Arizona and did a 30 day treatment. All of this was while we were in the Black & Blue tour.”

“Al,” I whispered, wiping the stray tears that had fell from his beautiful eyes. “No matter how many years we weren’t together and we drifted apart, we were the same as each other. Just like we were kids.”

“Only difference is that—“ He started but I cut him off.

“There’s not one, love.” I whispered, laying my head on his shoulder. “I’ve done just as worse as you, Al.”

“There was a part of it where you couldn’t exactly happen.” He said, licking his lips. We lit another cigarette. “We also have differences through our pasts.”

“Well, the way I see it Al is that we put it behind us and from here on out, we start on a new slate.” I said, taking a long drag of my cigarette, He nodded and smiled.

“Let’s do it.” He said, taking a drag of his.

“How bout we bring our childhood back and you paint my toenails?” I said, bringing my feet up five inches away from his nose. He chuckled and grabbed my foot, studying my toenails.

“You’re toenails are perfect. You gonna paint mine?” He asked, making me furrow my eyebrows in shock.

“You know I don’t like feet.” I said poking my bottom lip out.

“You used to paint mine!” He exclaimed, making me laugh. I sighed dramatically, and looked at him, batting my eyelashes.

“Fine, but I have to witness you washing them first.” I bartered, which made him laugh.

“Okay, I will. What color?” He asked, “For you and me?”

“I always have mine black, so black for me.” I said, “Black for you, too.” He nodded and sighed, squeezing my leg with his hand. “I have another question, what all am I going to be doing tomorrow in the video?”

“Well, you are the main girl... the only girl truly. The idea is pretty cool, I’m not saying anymore.” He said sticking his nose up in the air, playfully. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Fine then, but if I’m dressed like a whore I will bitch until I get my way. You just remember that.” I said, standing up and stretching. I felt his arms snake around my waist, he pulled me to him and kissed my shoulder.

“I wouldn’t let you dress like that, have faith in me babe.” He said, hugging me against him.

“It’s not you I’m worried about, Al.” I said, with a small laugh, “I’ve known Brian, Kev and Howie for a while to know that they like to pull pranks. I’ve figured Nick’s ass out, too, because he’s a prankster as well.”

“You’re right.” He said, with a light chuckle. He and I walked back into his bedroom and sat on the bed. I grabbed my purse and handed him the black fingernail polish. I put my feet in his lap, then thought about taking a bath first.

“Can I take a shower before you paint them? Then you take one, then I’ll do yours.” I asked, looking up at him. He nodded and smiled, pushing me off the bed playfully. I laid sprawled on the floor and just blinked. AJ’s looked over the side of the bed to me and giggled. “Just for that, I’m gonna take a tub bath.”

“That’s just mean.” He said, sliding off in the floor beside me. I giggled and looked at him, then turned on my left side, while he laid on his right side. He brought his hand up to my cheek, caressing the skin lovingly. “You know, you are really beautiful.”

“Well thank you. You are too, you know?” I asked making him smile. I grinned and rested my hand on his, entwining my fingers with him and bringing our hands on the floor.

“You’re more beautiful.” He argued, making me roll my eyes. I leaned over and pressed my lips to his lightly, before I got up. I held my hand out for him to take, without a word, he placed his in mine and stood up with my help. I pulled him into the bathroom with me, “What are you doing ma’am?”

“Saving water.” I said, running the shower letting the temperature get up to par. I took my clothes off, dropping them in a pile on the floor. I looked at AJ and smiled, as I stepped into the shower. “Are you coming?”

“In you? Why yes, yes I am.” He retorted, making me laugh loudly. I heard him strip his clothes, his belt buckle clinked against the marble tile. He opened the door and stepped in behind me. I smiled and dipped my head back, letting the water run through my hair. He reached up and felt the water, then hissed. “Holy shit this is hot, babe.”

“No it’s not. You’re a fucking wimp.” I said, looking at him. How could he talk about the heat of something? What an insult!

“It is hot!” He exclaimed, making me laugh loudly. “I’m not a wimp!”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.” He said before he pressed his lips to mine in a heated kiss. I ran my hands up, resting them on his ribcage, digging my fingers in him gently. He kissed up my jawbone, then down to my neck, making me moan lightly. He took the skin between his teeth, gently biting down, earning another moan from me. I felt him smile against my neck as he continued to kiss down over my left collarbone to my right.

I brought my hand up to the back of his head, tangling my fingers in his hair, pulling his head back and attaching my lips to his. His hands roamed down my sides, hooking under each thigh. He picked me up, I locked my arms around his neck; he pushed me against the cold tile shower wall making me hiss loudly.

“Fuck Al.” I whispered hotly against his lips. I felt his hardened length slip into me, making the two of us groan in unison. He started thrusting in and out insatiably, dropping his head on my shoulder. My fingernails raked heavily up his back, I clutched onto him like I was afraid he was going to be ripped from me.

“Damn Mada.” He whispered, looking at me. I moaned, pressing my lips to his in a passionate kiss. “Too perfect.”

“You are,” I moaned, as his pace became quicker. My walls closing tightly around him, “God Alex.”

“Holy fuck, I’m fixing to blow.” He whispered, before he took my lips to his again. He kissed down my chest, taking my left aroused nipple in his mouth. I fell apart completely, as he sucked and nibbled lightly, before moving to my right one reciprocating his actions as he done previously with my left nipple.

“Fuck Al, oh my god!” I exclaimed loudly, as he hit my g-spot sending me over fully. My walls clenched around him, I pressed my lips against his, as he groaned loudly, “I’m coming.”

“Me too, baby.” He whispered, taking my lips back to his. Our breath became ragged, he laid his head on my shoulder breathing heavily. I smiled to myself and laid my head on his, kissing his temple.

“We need to finish washing because you are still painting my toenails.” I said, holding my head up. He groaned playfully and looked at me. He pressed his lips to mine, then let me down from his grasp. We began to wash, he washed me, I washed him; after we were finished, we both stepped out the shower and into a towel. I dried off then walked in his room and got
dressed.

I sat on the bed and towel dried my hair as he emerged from the bathroom in a pair of black silk boxers. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him as he slid in the bed at my feet. I raised my right foot and pressed it against his chest, making him chuckle.

“You still have the prettiest feet I’ve ever seen.” He said, grabbing the black toenail polish and held my foot so he could start painting them. Five minutes, he was done with both feet and they looked great. He blew on my toes until they were dry.

“You’re turn.” I said, spreading my legs. He put his feet in front of me. I grabbed his left foot and started painting his toenails, after I finished, I did the right foot. Once I was finished, I blew on his toes just like he did mine.

“They are so pretty!” He exclaimed with a high pitched voice, making me laugh. I looked at the time it was close to midnight. I walked out of his room and noticed that the guys were downstairs still.

“Oh Al!” Brian squealed out as he saw me. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off, before I jumped in his lap, kissing his cheek.

“Oh my god!” Nick exclaimed, making everyone laugh. I shook my head and stood up.

“Since yal want to pick on me, I see I’m not wanted here, so I will return back to bed. Goodnight you goof balls, I love each of you a lot.” I said, hugging them each and kissing their cheeks. “Yal sleep sweet, I’ll see yal in the morning.”

“I love you Lay!” Brian exclaimed making me smile.

“I love you Lay,” Howie and Kevin said in unison, making everyone laugh.

“I love you Lay-Bug!” Nick exclaimed, making me laugh loudly. “Tell AJ we said goodnight.” I nodded and made my way back upstairs. I walked into AJ’s room noticing he was already in bed. I turned the lights off then walked to the empty side and slid in, he turned towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist, then snaked his other under my pillow.

“Goodnight baby.” He whispered, kissing my shoulder.

“Goodnight love.” I whispered in reply before he started snoring. I laid there and thought about what had all happened in such a short amount of time. I thank God that AJ is okay now, I thank God that I’m alive. I thank God he brought us back together.

As I, I, I, adjust to my new sights, through really tired lights they’ll take me to new heights. My hand is on the trigger, I’m ready to ignite; tomorrow might make it, but everything’s alright. Mental fiction follow me, show me what it’s like to be set free.

“Alexander mother-fucking James McLean, if you don’t turn that son of a bitchin phone off I swear to god I will break that motherfucker and throw it in the pool.” I gritted out, shoving him harshly. He jolted up and looked around.

Can’t you help me as I’m starting to burn, all alone? To many doses and I’m starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my on, all alone. No one can save me and you know I don’t want the attention.

“I’m not fucking kidding, AJ, turn that motherfucker off! Now!” I exclaimed, trying to push him off the bed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, sitting up.

“The phone, turn it off now.” I gritted out, grabbing the pillow and holding it over my head as it played that same verse and chorus over and over. I love the song, I helped produce it, but holy fucking hell man!

“Oh shit, sorry babe.” He said, muting his phone. “It was my alarm. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He rambled, I put my hand up to stop him.

“Shhh.” I said, “Come back to me.” I whispered, calling him over. I heard him chuckle, then felt the bed shift. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me on top of him. I snuggled in his chest, becoming more comfortable. He ran his hand up and down my back, I pressed my lips to his chest.

“Better?” He asked, I nodded and heard him laugh.

“Better.” I whispered, dropping my legs on either side of him, “Much, much better.”

“Good, babe I really didn’t mean about the alarm. I forgot it was set.” He apologized, I reached up and put my hand over his mouth.

“I know, it’s okay. Shhh.” I said, feeling him smile under my hand again. I sighed heavily, inhaling his scent—Old Spice Fuji and a cigarette, my favorite smells. “You smell good.”

“You do, too.” He replied, kissing my head.

“What time is it?” I whispered, noticing it was daylight.

“8:30.” He said, as I shot up. “What’s wrong?”

“Den’s leaving. I need to see her before she leaves!” I exclaimed, running out of AJ’s bedroom and into the hall, only to run into Brian. Our foreheads hit, we both fell to the ground. “Ow, Brian! Fucking hard ass head!”

“It wasn’t my fault Sugar Toes.” He said, as AJ, Kevin, Kris, Leigh, Howie, Denise, Nick and Lauren came into view.

“Holy shitballs Batman!” I said, closing my eyes.

“Babe you okay?” AJ asked, bending down to me. I nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Fucking Brian and that hard ass head of his.” I mumbled, sitting up and looked at Brian playfully glaring at him.

“I’m sorry Lay.” Brian feigned scared, making me laugh. I stood up, and helped him up, then gave him a hug.

“It’s okay Bri.” I said, kissing his cheek. I pulled away and grabbed AJ’s arm, leaning against him.

“Honey, you sure you’re okay?” Denise asked, looking at my forehead. I nodded and hugged her.

“I’m happy you haven’t left yet.” I said, kissing her cheek. “I thought I missed you.”

“AJ’s alarm kept going off and waking me up.” She said, hugging me to her.

“See! I told you Al!” I exclaimed, sticking my tongue out at him.

He scoffed, “Mama, Mada stuck her tongue out at me!”
“Alexander you know fibbing isn’t nice!” Denise scolded playfully.

“Wimp.” I muttered, trying to contain my smile.

“Mom she called me a wimp.” He taddled like a child. Everyone started laughing, including Denise.

“I haven’t heard such coming from her. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Denise said, kissing my head. I looked at AJ and grinned batting my eyelashes.

“She loves me more!” I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around AJ’s neck and jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“She does not.”

“She does too.”

“Does not.”

“Does too.”

“Does no—“ He started, but I pressed my lips to his to hush him up. I pulled back and watched him smile dreamily, “Good morning.”

“I’m going downstairs before this PG turns to R.” Brian said, making everyone laugh loudly, “I love you both, but I’m too old to be watching porn.”

“Oh my god, we weren’t going to do anything!” I exclaimed, shimmying down AJ, before I walked behind Brian, who took off downstairs. I was hot on his tail, I chased him all through AJ’s house. I finally caught him after he tripped over a pillow that was in the living room. I jumped on his back, and choked him playfully.

“Kids.” I heard Kevin say from behind us. Brian pretended to be dead, I stood up on his ass and demanded acknowledgement for my defeat.

“Bow down to the defeation of I!” I growled playfully, making everyone including Brian. I giggled and stepped off of Brian.

“Defeation is not a word!” Howie said, looking over at me.

“Latin Lover are you calling for a battle?” I asked, glaring playfully at him.

“Never Lady Bone.” He said, making me laugh.

“Oh you guys.” I said, walking into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for everyone. I made a spread, with toast, eggs, bacon, grits, sausage, waffles. As I finished Denise and I walked out back and sat on the patio with our coffee, leaving everyone to eat.

“I’m proud of you, baby.” She started, as she teared up, “You are getting your happy ending, finally.”

“What you mean, Den?” I asked, lighting up a cigarette.

She sighed happily, “Everything is falling into place. They always said if it’s meant to be, it will be. I’m a sole believer that you and Alex are meant to be together.”

“Den can I confess something to you?” I asked, looking at her. She smiled and nodded. “I love Al with all my heart. It’s something that never really went away.”

“Oh, baby, I knew that.” She said with a bright smile, “How you act with him is more than a thousand of words. It’s the same with him, too. The light I used to see in both of your eyes, when yal were young and together, is finally back. I think it helped that both of yal both told everything last night.”

“You knew about that?” I asked, looking at her. She nodded and grabbed my free hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Yes, I went to tell you two last night that I was going to bed, and I heard yal talking. It made me tear up because I know that it’s really hard on both of yal. I think you two can use one another as a support system as well as a lifeline.” She admitted, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

“Den,” I started, as I sat up and turned to her, taking her in my arms. We both cried in each other’s shoulders. She clung to me as if she was afraid she’d never see me again. “I love you so much Den. You’re my Ma, may not be by blood, but for all intents and purposes you are. You have been my rock through everything that I’ve had thrown at me. I owe you so much, it’s unreal. I owe you my life, Den.”

“You don’t owe me anything baby, nothing to any extremities. I do want something though,” She started, “I want you to give you and Alex a chance. I’m telling you, your Grams and I have both talked before she passed, and she knew that one day yal would be together again. Just give it some thought, I think it could really be something good.”

“I was already going to give him a chance, Den.” I said, kissing her cheek.

“Hey! I can’t have my two ladies crying, everything okay?” I heard AJ ask from behind us. We pulled apart and wiped our faces. We looked at him and nodded.

“Everything’s fine.” I said, looking back at Denise. She smiled and nodded. I finished my cigarette quickly and stood up. Denise walked inside, leaving AJ and I alone.

“What’s up babe?” He asked, placing his hands on my hips. I stood up on my tip toes and kissed him lovingly.

“Nothing, we were just talking. It was good talk.” I said, reassuring him. He furrowed his eyebrows, but let it go.

“You okay about flying tonight?” He asked, I nodded and smiled. “It’s on a private jet, so it’s just us, okay?”

“I’ll be fine babe. I’ll charge the iPod before we go.” I said, giggling. He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. “Put me down! My ass is going to show!”

“Everyone loves your ass.” He replied, walking in the house.

“Alexander James McLean!” I exclaimed, hearing him and the others laugh. I started beating his ass, literally. “Damnit Alexander! Put me down!”

“Ooh, pop me again baby. Daddy loves that.” AJ replied, making me laugh. I gave up, my body went limp, hoping dead weight would make him put me down. Much to my dismay, that shit didn’t happen. He walked around with me over his shoulder, then sat at the bar with the guys.

“I mean are you serious?” I asked, trying to sit up, but I couldn’t. I found a easier solution, though, I wiggled over his shoulder and started rocking. To my luck, AJ and I both fell, me falling face first into the floor, and him landing on top of me. The whole room fell in silence, until I broke it by laughing loudly, the girls and the guys busted out in a fit of laughter. “AJ please get off of me for just a second.”

“What in the world happened?” Denise asked in a hurry, “Alexander James you are going to crush Lay!” She pulled AJ off of me, and rolled me over. Tears fell out of my eyes, I looked at Denise and started laughing again. AJ bent down and helped me up. “Kids, I’m fixing to head out.” Denise said, wrapping her arms around AJ and I.

We both kissed her cheek, before she pulled away. “You sure you don’t us to take you?” I asked, looking up at her. She smiled and nodded.

“I’ll be fine, you two need to finish packing for Boston.” She said, kissing us both on the cheek. She hugged each couple, along with Brian and said her goodbyes. Marcus grabbed her bag and took her out to the car, then helped her in. He got in the driver’s seat and headed for the LAX.

“Are you okay?” Leigh asked, looking over me. I giggled and nodded.

“I’m fine Leigh, I promise. No bumps, no bruises.” I said, “I’m in the clear.”

“I just wanted to make sure. Everyone is going to spend time with their lover. Brian is upstairs talking to Leighanne.” She said, looking between the two of us. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She retreated back upstairs, I looked at AJ and smiled.

“After hitting your head a lot today, you’re awfully happy.” He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, before we walked up the stairs and back to his room. I laid on the bed and sighed happily.

“Talk to me, Al.” I said, looking up at him. He grinned and crawled onto the bed, laying his head on my chest, facing me.

“What you want to talk about?” He asked, grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers.

“Anything, tell me all that you want me to hear.” I said, picking my head up and looking down at him.

“When I’m in you, I feel like I’m on top of the world.” He said, making me chuckle. “When I’m around you, I feel like I’m King of the world. When you smile, it feels my heart and makes me feel like I have a reason for being on this earth. This right here, this us laying like this, it’s perfect.”

“Al, I feel the same way babe.” I said, running my fingers through his hair, “I like being like this.”

“I could get used to this.” He said, looking at me. I nodded and bit my lips.

“I can, too.” I replied, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him beside me. I laid my head on his chest, hearing his quickened but steady beat of his heart. I closed my eyes and sighed happily, resting my hand on his sternum.

“We need to get packed.” He said, making me laugh. “We’ll be back tomorrow, so just a light bag.”

“Five more minutes.” I said, putting my hand over his mouth for him to hush. He chuckled and pulled me on top of him. “De ja vu.” I said as I muzzled my face in his neck. He laughed and ran his hands up and down my back. I sighed happily, and pressed my lips to his neck.

“Do you think when we get to Boston we can have dinner?” He wondered, I nodded and pushed myself up, straddling his stomach and resting my hands on his chest.

“If you ask me like you’re supposed to, we can.” I said, batting my eyelashes.

“Madalay Jane Ramirez, if it’s not too much for you to accept, I would love to take you on a date once we land in Boston.” He said with the most serious face, the same face he had when he said he was going to move back to Florida.

“Alexander James McLean, I do believe I can fit you in my non-busy schedule.” I said, leaning down and pressing my lips to his. “I just need to know what to pack.”

“Well I’m going to take you to the most wonderful and fancy seafood place there is in Boston, so dress for the occasion.” He said, as I slid off of him. I walked to my bag and realized I didn’t pack anything fancy to wear. I bit my lip and looked at him.

“I need to go shopping.” I said, taking out all of my clothes. What caught my eye was a black dress on the bottom. I knew I didn’t put it in there. I furrowed my eyebrows and took the dress out. “Never mind. How did this get in here?”

“One guess, it wasn’t me.” He said sitting up on the bed. I looked at him and chuckled. “I had Ma put it in there. It was perfect actually, Leigh brought it because you left it at her house.”

“Wow. You’re on top of things, aren’t you McLean?” I asked, grabbing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, panties and a bra. I grabbed my iPod before I walked into the bathroom. I sat my things on the double counter then turned and ran water in the tub. I added Lavender & Vanilla bubble bath, then put the iPod on the iHome dock. I sat on the side of the tub with my feet in the hot water, I love hot baths. I grabbed my lighter and lit the vanilla tea candles that were against the wall lined up perfectly.

The iPod started playing Siberia. I hummed along with the song, until I stripped my clothes and sat in the tub, letting the water surround me. I replayed Siberia so I could sing along with it. It was a favorite of mine.

When you come back I won't be here. She said and gently pulled me near. If you want to talk you can call, and no it's not your fault.

I just smiled and said let go of me, but there's something that I've just gotta know. Did someone else steal my part? She said it's not my fault.

Then my heart did time in Siberia. Was waiting for the lie to come true, 'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious. When the one you want doesn't want you too.

I closed my eyes, and sang with my heart. I was in my own world, and didn’t even hear nor feel AJ sliding in the tub with me, until he sang his part.

I was drifted in between, like I was on the outside looking in, yeah yeah. In my dreams you are still here. Like you've always been.

I smiled as he sang, he pulled me in his lap and kissed my head. I laid my head on his shoulder as we sang together.

Oh yeah, my heart did time in Siberia. Was waiting for the lie to come true, 'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious. When the one you want doesn't want you too.

After we sang the chorus, he took over the bridge, just as he did on the song.

I gave myself away completely, but you just couldn't see me. Though I was sleeping in your bed, 'Cause someone else was on your mind. In your head.

I sang Brian’s part, along with him. AJ wrapped his arms around me tightly.

When I came back she wasn't there, Just a note left on the stairs, If you want to talk give me a call.

AJ sang in unison with me, for the rest of the song. I’ve always loved his voice, even when we were younger he’d always sing to me. It was calming and soothing.

My heart did time in Siberia. Was waiting for the lie to come true. 'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious. When the one you want doesn't want you too. When the one that you want doesn't want you.

My heart did time in Siberia. Was waiting for the lie to come true. 'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious. When the one you want doesn't want you too.

Siberia, Siberia; when the one you want doesn't want you too.

“I didn’t tell you to get in here with me.” I said, kissing his cheek. He chuckled and looked at me as Darlin’ came on. One of my favorite old ones—that had that R&B feel to it.

“Well, I’ll get out then.” He scoffed playfully. I giggled and shook my head.

“Don’t.” I pled, turning around in his lap, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He whispered, pressing his lips to mine. I smiled, “Tell me about high school, how was it for you?”

“Too long. It wasn’t anything special.” I said, shrugging. He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, looking over my facial expressions. “What?”

“How was the prom?” He asked, as I sighed.

“Couldn’t tell you.” I said, looking away. He cupped my chin with his thumb and index finger, bringing my eyes back to his.

“Why?” He asked, I pulled from his grasp and laid against the adjacent wall of the tub.

“Because I didn’t go.” I said, “I didn’t want to. Something happened, so I didn’t go.”

“What the fuck?” He asked, sitting up and looking at me.

“I don’t want to talk about that, Al.” I started, “Just drop it, okay?”

“No, I want to know why you didn’t go to your prom. Prom was supposed to be the best thing in high school.”

“No one really wanted to go with a nerd, Al. I wasn’t exactly Carmen Electra.” I said, my eyes boring in to his.

“What happened?” He asked, I shrugged and bit my lip.

“I had a date. It was stupid of me to think that Jason Baylor would actually ask me to Prom. It was like the whole scene in Never Been Kissed. He came in a limo, once I stepped out on the porch, he threw eggs and paint filled balloons at me.”

“Who does that kind of shit?” He asked, becoming angry.

“It’s over and done with, Al. I’ve moved on from it.” I said, drawing my legs up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees.

“That’s fucking crazy. If I ever see him, I will beat his ass.” He said, his nostrils flared with each word.

“It’s nothing now, Al.” I said, “It’s nothing to get bent up over about.” The look on his face was priceless. He wasn’t happy at all, and I knew that if he ever did see Jason, he would confront him.

“Still though,” He started, “Everyone deserves a prom.”

“You nor the guys had one, so what’s the big deal if I didn’t have one?” I questioned, looking up at him.

“It will always be a big deal, Mada.” He said, “Just because the guys and I didn’t have one doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have either.”

“Listen, back then, I was ugly, I was nerdy, I wasn’t the prom date of the century.” I said, grabbing my black loofa and started washing my arms.

“That doesn’t matter if you thought you were ugly and nerdy… every girl should experience a prom at least once.” He said, closing the conversation. I was taken aback how he was acting, it really wasn’t a big deal to me though. Why couldn’t he just leave it alone?

“Anyways, I’ll give you a blow job if you tell me about this video.” I played, running my foot up his leg making him groan.

“You are so cruel.” He whimpered, “I want it to be a surprise.”

“Poor King, he gets no love today then.” I said, laying back in the tub.

“Oh King?” He asked, I smiled and nodded, “King will get love today. I promise you that.”

“By who? Rosie Palm and her five sisters?” I asked, with a smile.

“No, I’ll get you eventually.” He said, making me laugh. I rolled my eyes as That’s The Way I Like It came on. I started dancing to the beat, singing to the song. Once AJ’s part come up, he started busting out singing loudly.

Girl you make me wanna move. It's a price I've got to pay. For all the things you do, but I like it. Gotta listen to the groove, and you gotta listen well, The way you do it, that's the way I like it.

I couldn’t help but to laugh. I love when he and I can do this. We were comfortable with each other and it’s been years since I last saw him. It was like old times.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind?” He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts and into his lap.

“You.” Was all I said, I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. He wrapped his arms protectively around me and kissed my forehead.

“Talk to me?” He wondered, I nodded and thought how I was going to say what I needed to say.

“These past couple of weeks have been overwhelming. You managed to break down the walls that I put up to protect myself from you. I don’t know how you did it, but you did. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, if ever even. You’ve become such a huge part in my life. When Denise told me you were in a coma, it literally scared me. My heart stopped beating. I thought I was having a heart attack.” I said, running my fingers up and down his chest.

“I’m fine though, babe.” He started, I nodded and cut him off.

“I know, but at that time I didn’t know that. I mean you came to me, we had a night, you left, and the next thing I knew after I read the note was you were in a coma. I didn’t know what to think, Al. It scared me.” I said, “I’ve never been so scared in my life, what happened a few years ago doesn’t even touch this.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered against my forehead.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Al.” I said, with a sad smile. I closed my eyes and snuggled into him more, or until the water started becoming cold. I wrapped the towel around me and dried off before I fixed my hair and got dressed. Oddly enough, when I went into the bedroom, AJ matched me.

“You can’t be cool like me Al. You’re taking my look from me.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He looked at me and chuckled. I rolled my eyes and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“You think everything will work out between us?” He asked, looking down at me. I shrugged, and rolled my neck, hearing it crack. Lord it felt good.

“Do you want everything to work out between us?” I asked, laying my chin on his chest.

“More than you can imagine.” He whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead.

“Then I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” I replied, squeezing him once more before I turned away and grabbed my bag and sat it on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and got my dirty clothes that had piled in the floor along with the iPod.

I walked back into the bedroom and saw AJ painting his nails. “When you get finished, you can paint mine, too.” I said, kissing his head.

“Yes ma’am.” He said, looking up at me with his beautiful cinnamon brown eyes. I smiled and walked to the door, “Angel?”

I looked behind me, “Yes sir?”

“I love you.” He said with a smile.

“I love you, Al. I’ll be right back.” I replied, receiving a nod from him. He was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I walked downstairs and heard Brian and Marcus talking about the upcoming tour. I slipped past them and walked into the kitchen, trying to find a regular grocery bag to put my dirty clothes in. After a minute of searching, I finally found what I needed. I stopped when I heard my name being said.

“Do you think Lay will be able to handle the tour?” Brian asked, he was always concerned for my wellbeing.

“I think she can. She seems like a strong-willed girl. I can tell that she still has those feelings for J.” Marcus replied.

“She does, and hearing her talk makes me think that she’s never lost those feelings. I know she loves him and I know he loves her. What J did to her is unacceptable, but when it’s balls to the wall, she’s in it a hundred percent.” Brian said, “She’s an amazing girl, she deserves the world. I just hope J will open his eyes and see what he’s got in front of him.”

“He will, trust me. I remember years back when he’d cry out for her. I agree with you, what he has done to her is unacceptable, but I think that if he does go balls to the wall that he will realize that she will be there regardless.” Marcus said, “She seems like a genuine woman. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’m just happy that J is smiling again, he’s becoming the old J we all knew and loved.”

“That’s true, she’s done a lot of good things to him over these past few weeks. She’s a blessing in disguise.” Brian said, “And I know she’s listening to us talk. Lay, come on in here, sweets.”

I groaned, and shook my head, walking into the foyer. I stood there and tapped my Converse clad foot on the tile. “You rang?”

“Hey beautiful.” He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “You ready to fly?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Al said we’re flying on a private jet?” I asked, hoping I heard him right.

“Yes, so that means you won’t have to sit beside crying kids and smelly men.” Brian said with a smile. I furrowed my eyebrows and started laughing.

“So you’re not sitting beside me?” I asked, making him and Marcus laugh.

“You’re toast.” He said, barricading me in his arms. His fingers danced over my sides, I thrashed out, getting out of his grasp. I ran upstairs and into AJ’s room, instantly sliding under his bed.

“Wha—“ AJ started, but I shh’d him.

“I called Brian smelly and now he’s trying to get me.” I whispered, laying long ways with the width of the headboard of AJ’s king size bed. I watched as the door opened, and Brian walk in.

“What can I help you with Rok?” AJ asked, as I stretched out, climbing up backwards with the post to hide in the box spring. Once I was in there, I knew the only thing I had to do was keep quiety.

“I need your woman. She insinuated I was smelly.” He said, making me giggle lightly. “I know she’s in here.”

“You can look around if you want to, man.” AJ said, “I’ll help you.”

“Okay great, thanks J.” Brian said, padding around the room. He opened the closet door and proceeded to look through the closet. “She’s not here.”

“I’ll check under the bed.” AJ said, as Brian walked to the bathroom, checking everywhere, even the sink cabinets, linen closet, and shower. “Mada where are you?” AJ whispered, the only thing I could do was laugh. “Holy fuck babe!” He exclaimed, jumping up slightly and hitting his head on the bed rail.

“What J?” Brian asked, almost out of breath. “Have you found her?”

“No, she was under the bed and then disappeared. Holy shit.” AJ said, rubbing his head.

“She’s a freaking ninja.” Brian exclaimed, laying on the floor and crawling under the bed to make sure I wasn’t under there. “J what’s behind those boxes?”

“I don’t know why?” AJ asked, as Brian started crawling towards the top of the bed below where I was. I watched as he looked behind the boxes, but finding nothing. He sighed, dropping his head.

I let out a ear splitting scream, he looked above in horror and yelled as I dropped out of the box-spring, I laid there with tears pouring down my cheeks as I watched him crawl quickly from under the bed. AJ was in a fit of giggles, and somehow managed to record the whole thing. I couldn’t have done it. I slowly crawled from under the bed and saw Brian sitting against the wall, breathing heavily.

“Bri, you okay?” I asked, as he looked over at me and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to scare you that bad.”

“I- I—I’m okay.” He breathed out, looking at me, “You’re good Lay. Payback will be hell.”

“Okay Bri.” I said, crawling over to him and hugging him tightly. I kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand as I laid my head on his shoulder. “You’re not smelly, I promise.”

He chuckled and nodded, “I know. That was good though, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.”

“I’m sorry, are you okay?” I asked, looking at him. He smiled and nodded.

“I am. We need to get ready to leave. I love you Lay.”

“I love you Bri.” I replied, as he stood up, then helped me up. He hugged me once again before he walked out of AJ’s room. I turned to AJ with eyes widened, he called me over to him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

We finished packing, and took our things down to the Denali. Nick, Howie, Kevin, Brian loaded their things along with Kris and Leigh’s things. The guys, girls and I parted ways with Lauren, and we made our way to LAX, which we ended up parting ways with Kris and Leigh.

Soon enough, we were on our flight to Boston. AJ, Brian and I sat on the couch, I laid and rested my head in AJ’s lap, giving Brian my feet. I sighed listening to Marcus, Nick, AJ, and Brian talk to one another. Howie and Kevin eventually joined in, sitting beside Marcus, Nick. The whole flight was basically me being serenaded by them, which made the flight worthwhile.

Finally, we weren’t in the air anymore. I felt like I could’ve got on the ground and kissed it. I’ve never been much of a flyer, it always scared me, especially after I lost my Aunt and Uncle on 9/11.

The guys and I stepped off the plane ten minutes after we landed at a private airport. I didn’t lose any steps getting on, in fact, I skipped half of the stairs landing straight on the ground.

“Remind me to take the train or bus back home. The air is for the birds.” I said, as I picked my bag up, placing the strap on my left shoulder cross body, letting the bag hang behind my right thigh.

“Babe, I told you nothing was going to happen.” AJ said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and laid a kiss on my head.

“Yeah, but this time I won’t be with you guys, I’ll be alone.” I replied looking up at him. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Remind me not to take you to Europe then.” He said, chuckling. I rolled my eyes and hit his stomach playfully.

“I have a house in London. It’s an old morgue, which is pretty fucking cool.” I said, thinking absentmindedly.

“A morgue? Really?” He asked, looking down at me. I grinned and simply nodded.

“Yes, a morgue. Anyways, Sir McLean, you are supposed to take me on a date tonight, correct?” I asked, looking up at him, just to see his gorgeous smile.

“Yes Madam’, that is the plan.” He replied, “So, as soon as we get to the hotel, you are to change and your chariot shall wait.”

“Yes Sir,” I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. Marcus called ahead and got us a Denali—he said it made us feel like home, which was true.

“Evening everyone, I am James and I will be your chauffer for your stay in Boston. You all go ahead and get in the Denali, and I’ll put everyone’s things in the back.” James, the driver, said as he took my bag first. I got in first, taking the spot in the back, AJ followed, then Marcus. Nick, Brian and Howie took the middle and Kevin rode shotgun. “The Liberty, correct?”

“Yeah, thank you James.” Kevin replied, as headed downtown to The Liberty hotel. I was mesmerized, it was one of the most beautiful hotel’s I had ever seen in my life. It wasn’t long before we got to the hotel, and checked in. What made me smile the most was the fans there that was for the guys.

“Oh my god! It’s AJ McLean!” One girl shouted, making me laugh. He looked at me in questioned, I proceeded to nod for him to go talk to her. “Oh my god, you are so beautiful!” She exclaimed, looking at me. “Holy shit! You’re Madalay Ramirez!”

“Might as well come over, Mada.” AJ said with a small smile. I looked around and saw the guys where all occupied with fans. I walked over to AJ and the girl. “Babe, this is Chelsea.”

“Nice to meet you Chelsea.” I said, as she extended her hand. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly, “Sorry, I’m a hugger not a shaker.”

“I think my heart just stopped. I’ve had a girl crush on you for a long time. This is a dream come true!” She rambled, making AJ and I chuckle.

“How known is she?” AJ asked Chelsea, who just scoffed.

“She’s been in several magazines, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad picture of her.” She said to him, then turned to me, “I just want to say that even as a fan, I am proud of what you’ve overcome, the both of you actually.”

“Thank you, Chelsea, that means a lot to me.” I said, hugging her once more. “Do you want to take a picture with AJ?”

“Can I?” She asked, AJ and I nodded, “Can I have one with you, too?”

“Of course,” I started, “Let me hold your phone and I’ll take some of you two, then he can take some of us, and then we’ll get the perfect bystander to take one of the three of us together.”

“You are sweet and beautiful!” She exclaimed, handing me her phone. I pulled the camera app up and stepped back as AJ wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Her smile was unbelievably beautiful. After taking three pictures, AJ kissed my forehead and took the camera from me. With a swift movement, Chelsea had me in her arms in the bridal position. I couldn’t help but to laugh. We both smiled towards AJ as he snapped the picture.

My feet planted on the ground, I wrapped my arm around her waist, and hers around my shoulders, we both smiled once more for the picture. AJ held his thumb up for assurance. “Bri, come here please!” I exclaimed, he looked over at me and smiled before setting his tracks.

“Yes my Southern Belle?” He wondered, “Well, aren’t you beautiful?” He asked, looking at Chelsea.

“This is Chelsea, Bri.” I introduced, “Can you take a picture of the three of us?”

“Of course!” He exclaimed, taking the phone from AJ. AJ and I got on her sides for the picture. “Ready, say cheese!”

“Cheese!” We repeated with smiles as he snapped the picture.

“Chelsea how would you like a picture with the guys?” I asked, looking at her.

“And you?” She wondered, I nodded.

“Oh this is amazing!” She said, jumping up and down giddily. I smiled and called Nick, Howie, and Kevin over. They all stood around her as I went and found someone who would take our picture. I stood in front of Brian and AJ, snaking my arm through hers. Kevin was behind her and Nick and Howie curved around like Brian and AJ were. The man took four pictures for us. “I just want to thank yal so much for this.”

“It’s not a problem.” Howie said, hugging her.

“Well, you all have a good night, this made my night.” She said, before she said her goodbyes and walked away.

“That was nice.” I said, as we walked to the elevator. The guys hovered around me, I closed my eyes and felt the elevator go up to our floor. “How are the room arrangements?”

“Three rooms, two to a room.” Kevin said, “You and AJ, yal have one bed; Brian and Nick, D and I.”

“Okay, sounds good.” I said as we the elevator dinged, letting us know we were on our floor. The doors opened, Kevin gave out the key cards. AJ and I found our way to our room, he opened the door and let me in first. I thanked him and looked around the room completely mesmerized. “This is beautiful.”

“I know you are.” AJ said behind me. I rolled my eyes and bumped his side with my elbow. I laid my bag on the bed and sat on it, looking up at him. I held my arms out for him, he smiled and walked to me, letting me wrap them around his waist, laying my head on his stomach. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Nothing, everything is fine, Al.” I said, closing my eyes and smiling. His fingers ran through my hair, I started dozing off, but I caught myself and stood up. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

“I love you,” He started, “It’s time for you to change.”

“I love you, and I will.” I said, kissing him once more. “Now leave so I can get dressed.”

“Yes mam, I’ll tell Nick and Rok to come over, I’ll go to Kev and D’s. Twenty minutes, okay?” He asked kissing my forehead. I nodded and watched him walk out the door. I stood up and walked into the bathroom, turning the iPod on.

I started re-applying my makeup, making sure everything was fine. I grabbed the dress and stripped of my clothes before I put the dress on. I fixed my hair, adding hairspray for volume. I looked in the tall mirror and turned slowly, before I smiled at my appearance.

I walked back into the room and saw Brian and Nick sitting on the bed, talking. I cleared my throat, they turned their heads to me, both gaping and eyes widened. “Do I look that bad?”

“N-no, hell no!” Nick exclaimed, standing up and hugging me tightly. “You look absolutely beautiful, Lay.”

“Thank you Nicky.” I replied, as he retreated back to the bed. Brian stood up and wrapped his arms around me.

“I feel like I’m giving my little sister away.” Brian said, making us both laugh lightly. “You look beautiful, Lay, breathtaking even.”

“Thank you Bri,” I said, kissing his cheek, “Can yal tell me about the video tomorrow?”

“Nope, nice try though.” Nick said with a bright smile. I groaned and rolled my eyes, looking in the mirror once more. I looked at the time, I had two minutes before AJ come to get me. Why was I nervous?

“Bri, Nicky, why am I so nervous? I mean its Al. I’ve never been this way.” I said, looking at them, they grinned.

“Because it’s yals first date. Yal love each other, too.” Nick said pointedly. I heard a knock on the door. My breath hitched, my eyes widened as I looked at Brian.

“Calm down, babe.” Brian said, standing in front of me, his hands rested on my biceps as Nick opened the door. AJ looked beautiful. He had a dark navy button down short sleeve shirt, with a black vest, black dress pants that fit him perfectly, with his black ivy hat.

I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was so beautiful, I couldn’t take my eyes off him nor breathe. He caught my eyes with his, pulling me out of my trance. “Fuck Angel, you are fucking beautiful.”

“Best looking couple I’ve ever seen.” Nick told Brian, who nodded.

“No glasses?” I asked, coming to my senses. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Not tonight, you’re welcome.” He said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and leaned up, pressing my lips to his. “We better get going, reservations is in 15 minutes.”

“Okay.” I whispered, before turning and hugging Nick and Brian once more. “I love yal.”

“We love you, Lay.” They replied as I snaked my arm through AJ’s and walked with him out of our room and into the hall. We met Kevin and Howie, who gaped.

“Beautiful.” Howie said, hugging me quickly, then handing me to Kevin who hugged me as well.

“You look absolutely breathtaking, Lay.” Kevin said, kissing my forehead.

“Thank you Kev.” I replied, returning back to AJ.

“You two have fun, we’ll see yal later.” Howie said, as Brian and Nick emerged from our room. I waved to them once more before AJ and I walked to the elevator. We got in and he pressed the L button for the lobby.

“You do look beautiful, I honestly can’t keep my eyes off of you.” He said, squeezing my hand. I grinned.

“You do, too, and I can’t keep mine off of you.” I kissed his chin. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. He and I walked out, hand in hand, to the front where James was standing with the back door open. He had a bright smile on his face.

“Evening again, Miss Ramirez, you are looking mighty beautiful tonight.” He said, as he helped me in.

“Thank you James.” I said, before AJ got in beside me. I grabbed his hand and kissed it lightly. “Are you nervous?”

He let out an exasperated breath, “Yeah, I am. I don’t know why. Are you?

“Very much, but I don’t even know why.” I said, looking at him. He leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. “I love you, though.”

“I love you, babe.” He replied, kissing me once more, “Tonight is going to be a good night.”

“Yes, it will be.” I said, with a bright smile. “We have to take a picture. I need a new picture for my phone.”

“Come to think of it, I do too.” He said, winking. I grabbed my phone and opened the camera. I held the phone out in front of us, his head touched mine, and we smiled as I snapped the picture. He held his out, and we reciprocated what we just done. I held my phone out and kissed his cheek, then snapped the picture. I couldn’t stop smiling that the picture—I loved it so much I set it as my home screen background photo.

“I love that one, you have to send it to me.” He said, I nodded and sent it to him. He got it and set it as his home screen background photo. James told us that we were at our destination: Atlantic Fish Company.

He and I got out, hand in hand and walked to the doors. AJ opened the door, placing his hand on the small of my back, we walked in and waited to be waited on. “Dining in?” The greeter asked, “Reservation?”

“Reservation under McLean.” AJ said, giving her a small smile. She looked down on the list and nodded.

“McLean for two, right this way.” She said, grabbing two menu’s and walked ahead of us. I held AJ’s hand, following right behind her. She took us outside on the balcony, where the ocean was in full view. I gasped, at the view—it was beautiful. The greeter disappeared just as the waiter came up.

“Mr. McLean, you have this balcony all to yourselves tonight. I’m Austin, your waiter for this evening. The table is ready for you two.” He said, setting our drinks up. I looked at AJ and smiled, he winked and pulled my chair out of me. I sat and scooted up with his help. He sat across from me, and thanked Austin.

“I’ll give you two a minute to decide what you two will want for supper.” Austin said, backing up. I started looking over the menu and decided on shrimp scampi with shrimp alfredo. I told AJ, and he nodded Austin over. “What can I get for you two?”

“She would like the shrimp scampi with shrimp alfredo, and I believe I’ll have the same but with steak alfredo.” He said, as we handed him our menus. The night was beautiful, the view was beautiful—the candle light supper was even more beautiful.

“What’s on your mind beautiful?” He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“This. Everything.” I said, looking at him, “Thank you for this.”

“You know I would do anything for you.” He said, taking my hand in his. “I wanted you to have a great night. I know I’ve put you through hell, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t Al. Let’s keep the conversations happy tonight, okay?” I asked, he nodded, “This is a beautiful night, the view is beautiful.”

“I’m looking at the best part.” He said, making heat rise to my cheeks. I hid my face and smiled, “Oh my Angel is blushing.”

“Al stop!” I chuckled, looking at him. He gave in and nodded.

“Fine, fine baby.” He said, “What do you want to do after we leave here?”

“How about all of us go to a club and dance?” I asked, with a shrug. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending a text out telling them to get ready and to meet us at McFadden’s.

“Done,” He said, looking up at me, “So, do you think that there is any way you will… I was wondering if you will be my lady.”

“Ask me like you’re supposed to.” I said with a small laugh. He chuckled and got up, then kneeled in front of me.

“I love you more than anything in this world, and I would love nothing more than to be able to call you mine.” He started, “Ever since you came back in my life, I’ve been a hell of a lot happier than I have in a long fucking time. You are the most beautiful person, inside and out, and I would love nothing more than to have you as mine. So please, Madalay Jane Ramirez, will you be mine?”

“Well, Alexander James McLean, I would love nothing more than to be yours.” I said, with a bright smile. I stood up, pulling him with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed his lips to mine. He hugged me tightly against him; “I do love you, Al. So much.”

“I know you do, and I love you so much, too.” He whispered, as Hoobastank’s The Reason started playing softly. “Dance with me?” I nodded, and grabbed his left hand with my right and, I placed my left hand on his right bicep; we began to dance with the beat of the music. He cleared his throat, as I laid my head on his chest, he laid his on my head.

I’m not a perfect person, there’s many things I wish I didn’t do. But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know. I’ve found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

I smiled, hearing him sing. I loved his voice—it was soothing.

I’m sorry that I hurt you, It’s something I must live with every day. And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away, and be the one who catches all your tears. That’s why I need you to hear: I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new, and the reason is you. The reason is you, the reason is you.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into him. I loved everything about us—I loved how he felt against me, I loved myself when I was around him, I loved my life with him in it. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but none fell—thank God. He pressed his lips against my forehead and smiled.

“Mr. McLean, yours and Miss Ramirez’s food is ready.” Austin said, breaking our little moment. I pulled away from AJ, but kept his hand in mine. We walked to our table and sat down, once again. “I hope you two enjoy your meal. I have a pitcher of tea brewing for you two.”

“This is amazing, thank you Austin.” I said with a smile. He grinned and nodded, before he turned and walked back into the restaurant. I grabbed AJ’s hand and bowed my head, “Heavenly Father please bless this food as we nourish our bodies. Thank you for today, and every day that you bless us. Each blessing from you is nothing less than a miracle. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen.” AJ said as we pulled our hands away and began eating. It was delicious. He and I didn’t waste any time by no means.

“Is your favorite color still yellow?” I asked the most random question ever.

“You remember?” He asked, I nodded, “Is yours still purple?”

“It is.” I said, “I have to go to Georgia this week coming up.”

“Ivory Towers?” He wondered, I nodded, “You are such the entrepreneur. You amaze me.”

“I love tattooing, I love music, and I love dancing.” I said, with a small shrug, “Tattooing calms me down tremendously, as well as dancing.”

“That’s amazing, maybe you can come on the road with us for a week and run a tattoo on me?” He wondered, I nodded.

“I just need to know the week date.” I said, “What kind of tattoo do you want?”

“Many, I’m thinking MJR right here,” He said, showing me the small space on his hand above his thumb knuckle. I furrowed my eyebrows and chuckled. “With a queen crown. Over the M.”

“Really?” I asked. He nodded and gave me a bright smile. “Okay, What font?”

“Any that you like.” He said, I nodded as I finished off my food and tea. Austin walked back out and took our plates, then asked if we wanted desert which we declined. He, then, brought the check out. AJ gave him his credit card, just as fast as Austin left, he returned with the receipt. I looked at the check and it was $54.45; which blew my fucking mind. AJ left a twenty dollar tip, and looked at me. “You ready babe?”

“Yes.” I said, standing up. He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him through the restaurant. He and I lit a cigarette, I laid my head on his chest and sighed happily. I took a drag from my cigarette, smiling to myself. Tonight couldn’t have gone any better in my opinion. “Thank you for tonight, Al.”

“You deserve that and a whole lot more, Angel.” He whispered, kissing my head. I looked up at him and smiled, pursing my lips. He chuckled and leaned down pressing his lips to mine.

“I love you Al. I genuinely love you.” I said, before I took another drag.

“I love you, too, baby.” He said with a smile. I grinned as we finished our cigarette and got into the car that James was waiting for us in. “Hey James, can you take us to McFadden’s?”

“Of course!” He said before driving off. I grabbed AJ’s hand, entwining my fingers with his. “You really do look beautiful tonight, not that you don’t look beautiful every day, but tonight it was even more special. You’re absolutely radiant.”

“You’ve got to stop that.” I said, looking at him, “You look handsome as ever, Al. I’m definitely a lucky lady to even be in the presence of such man beauty.”

“Smartass.” He said, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me to him. I straddled his thighs and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I’m what?” I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I kissed from his ear down to his collarbone, then licked back up. His heart beat rapidly as my tongue trailed over his juggler vein.

“Mine.” He whispered in a groan, “All mine.”

“That’s right. I’m all yours. Days, nights, on the weekends, wherever, whenever.” I whispered in reply, kissing along his jaw to his lips.

“I love that you are mine.” He said between the kisses I gave him.

“Mmhm,” I moaned against his lips as his hands ran up my thighs. “No panties, just for you.”

“Goddamn you dirty, dirty girl.” He groaned, squeezing my asscheeks in his hands. I hissed, throwing my head back, letting his lips roam the flesh.

“Mr. McLean we have arrived.” James said, as the car came to a halt. AJ and I shared a groan, I slid back to where I was and made myself look presentable. AJ let out a frustrated sigh, making me chuckle.

“Tonight baby.” I whispered against his ear, before he stepped out, then offered a hand for me. I gladly accepted it, and got out the car. He wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulders and kissed my head.

“You promise?” He asked, giving me a play pout. I cupped his face with my hands and brought his face down to mine.

“Yes, I promise.” I said with a smile. I heard our names being called, to my surprise all the guys were here. We walked over there to them and decided to go on in McFadden’s. One of my absolute favorite things about Boston was people’s accents… and the Red Sox, I’m a huge fan.

The club was nice, there was a sea of people. The DJ was playing some Yeah! By Usher ft. Ludacris and Lil Jon. I grabbed AJ’s hand and pulled him on the dance floor with me. He grinned as I started grinding my hips into his. I turned with my back against his chest, he rested his hands on my hips. I shook my hips to the beat and leaned forward, I looked over at Brian, Nick, Howie and Kevin who sat in the booth and gaped.

Nick’s lips curled into a smile, I waved them over. In a file, each one of them got up and walked over to us. I leaned up and closed my eyes, dancing on my own beat. AJ kept up with me for the most part. I opened my eyes and saw Brian swaying and clapping his hand along with Kevin. Howie was more into it than Kevin, Nick was going crazy.

The six of us yelled “Yeah!” each time it was sang. As Ludacris’ part came on, I bent over and touched my toes, AJ was behind me doing some kind of hip thrusts, I couldn’t help but to laugh. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him heavily.

He turned me around and wrapped his arm around my waist as we got in sync with the beat and together. As the song went off, everyone applauded the DJ. The next song that was played was Smooth by Santana ft. Rob Thomas. I looked at AJ and saw a fire flash in his eyes. I smirked and walked around him seductively, before I used him as a pole. I squatted down and came up slowly against him. He grabbed my hand and turned me around, bringing me against his chest. We started to do the Salsa to the beat, he spun me around twice and brought me to him, our noses were touching. My right left was bent at his hip, he held the small of my back, I leaned back, rolling from side to side before I came up touching his nose with mine once again.

I looked and noticed everyone had circled around us. We started back to the Salsa, I ran my hand down his face, turning around quickly and squatting once more with closed legs. He grabbed my hands and twisted me around, bringing me back to him. I smiled and licked over my lips. He walked around me, I pulled him to me; his chest against my back, his left hand on my hips. Our hips swayed to the beat, our eyes stayed focus in each other’s. He pushed me out, then brought me back in, this time I was facing him.

I rest my right hand on his left shoulder, his hand stayed on my hip. We continued our dance in full trance of each other. Once the song was finished, the whole place including the DJ was applauding our performance. My eyes widened as I looked at AJ, who looked flustered.

“You did a number on me baby. I didn’t think I could keep up.” He said in my ear before kissing my cheek. I pressed my lips on his with a smile.

“You were amazing Al.” I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. We walked to the bar and both ordered Coke’s. We wondered and found the guys at the booth that they originally had.

“Alright, we have ten minutes until the karaoke session starts, so if you want to sing tonight, please make your way to me. I’ll take your name, what song you want to sing, and I will call you when it’s your turn.” The DJ announced.

“You doing it?” Howie asked me, I shook my head. “Why not?”

“You gonna sing with me D?” I asked, taking a sip of my coke.

“I sure will. Go get us set up. Pick whatever song.” He said, winking at me. I grinned and nodded. “Make sure you do one by yourself, too.”

“Sir, yes sir.” I said, saluting him before I got up. I leaned down and kissed AJ before I made my way to the DJ.

“How are you Miss Ramirez?” The DJ asked as I stood beside him. I furrowed my eyebrows and was about to speak, but he cut me off, “I’m a fan of your tattooing, and now dancing. You are so beautiful in person. Are you going to sing as well?”

“I am, and I have five duets I’m doing as well.” I said with a smile, “And thank you.”

“Okay, here is the clip board, write your names and the song.” He said with a bright smile. I nodded and took the clip board and a pen and walked to the tall table he had behind him. He gave me a list of the songs that he had already. After skimming through them, I first found the best song for Kevin and I. The guys followed with ease—I noticed it was 80’s and 90’s night.

1. Kev & Lay- Hysteria
2. Latin Lover & Lay- 18 & Life
3. Nicky & Lay- Kryptonite
4. Rok & Lay- (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight
5. Al - Kiss From a Rose
6. Lay- Stand Back
7. Rok- Don’t Close Your Eyes
8. Latin Lover- Man In The Mirror
9. Kev- This Night Won’t Last Forever
10. Nicky- Smells Like Teen Spirit

After I finished the list, I handed it to the DJ and walked back to our booth. I noticed there was a woman that was sitting in my seat. She kept trying to get close to AJ, but he was trying to push her away. The DJ played a slow rock song, I’ll Be There For You by Bon Jovi and said for everyone to get on the dance floor.

“Hey babe, come dance with me again, please.” I asked, AJ looking in my eyes thanking me.

“Yes beautiful I will.” He said, then looked at the woman “Can I squeeze out so I can dance with my lady?” I bit my lip trying not to laugh, I looked at Brian who had already turned red. She scoffed and got out the booth, AJ took my hand and led me to the floor.

He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he leaned down pressing his forehead against mine. We stayed to the beat, it was one of my favorite songs of all time. I loved Bon Jovi.

I’ll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe I want to be the air for you, I’ll be there for you. I’d live and I’d die for you, I’d steal the sun from the sky from you. Words can’t say what love can do, I’ll be there for you.

My fingers ran through his thin hair that laid on the back of his head. I smiled, and closed my eyes as he brought me closer to him. “I love you.” I whispered, giving him a simple kiss. He smiled against my lips

“I love you.” He replied, in a whisper. The song ended, he and I walked back to the booth. Nick and Howie were talking about the upcoming album. Brian and Kevin were talking about the tour. AJ and I sat there, his arm around me, my hand on is thigh; every few seconds he’d lean against me and kiss my head.

“Okay, it is karaoke time! Can I please have Latin Lover & Lay to the stage please?” the DJ asked, I looked at Howie who gaped. The guys and I chuckled as we watched Howie stand up. I stood up from the booth then leaned down and kissed AJ. Howie slid out, and took my hand in his. We walked up to the stage and took our mic’s. The music of Skid Row’s 18 & Life sounded through the club. Howie looked at me and smiled widely, I whispered he could have the first part.

Ricky was a young boy, he had a heart of stone, Lived 9 to 5 and he worked his fingers to the bone. Just barely get out of school, came from the edge of town. Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down, oh no.

He had no money, no, no good at home. He walked the streets as soldier and he fought the world alone.

I smiled as the floor of the club was filled with people. They were dancing, they were have a great time. We come together to sing the chorus. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

And now it's 18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know. Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go. 18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know. Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go.

He nudged me with his shoulder, letting me know it was my turn.
Tequila in his heartbeat, his veins burned gasoline. He kept his motor running, but it never kept him clean. They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one". He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun.

Bang bang shoot 'em up, the party never ends. You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend, and now its!

I smiled seeing the guys in front, pretending like they were at a concert. I couldn’t help but to smile. Howie and I started the chorus once more, along with the bridge.

18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know, Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go. 18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know. Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go, yeah.

"Accidents will happen", they all heard Ricky say. He fired his six-shot to the wind, that child blew a child away.

I belted out away, earning a hefty applause from the crowd. Howie bumped hips with mine and kissed my head as I started the chorus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know. Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go. 18 and life, you got it, 18 and life, you know. Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go, yeah yeah!

As the song ended, everyone was in applause. Howie and I bowed, then got off the stage. AJ met me with a kiss and a hug. “Yal did so good!”

“Your time is coming.” I whispered in his ear. I kissed his lips and grabbed the Coke that Nick held for me. I thanked him then took a large swallow.

“Can I have Rok up here please?” The DJ asked. Brian looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows.

“You’ll like the song.” I said, pushing him towards the stage. He started laughing and stood up. Keith Whitley’s Don’t Close Your Eyes began, he looked down at me and playfully glared.

“I want everyone in this building to grab a partner and hit the dance floor.” Brian said before it was time for him to sing. I wrapped my arms around AJ’s neck, he rested his hands on my back, pulling me to him. We danced a small two step along with the beat.

I know you loved him a long time ago. Even now in my arms you still want him I know, but darling this time let your memories die. When you hold me tonight, don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes, let it be me. Don't pretend it's him in some fantasy. Darling just once let yesterday go. You'll find more love than you've ever known. Just hold me tight when you love me tonight. Don't close your eyes.

Maybe I've been a fool, holding on all this time. Lyin' here in your arms, knowing he's in your mind. But I keep hoping some day that you'll see the light. Let it be me tonight, don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes, let it be me. Don't pretend it's him in some fantasy. Darling just once let yesterday go. You'll find more love than you've ever known. Just hold me tight when you love me tonight. And don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes let it be me. Don't pretend it's him in some fantasy. Darling just once let yesterday go. You'll find more love than you've ever known. Just hold me tight when you love me tonight. And don't close your eyes.

Just hold me tight when you love me tonight, and don't close your eyes.

Brian ended the song, AJ’s hand touched my cheek, his thumb wiped away a few tears that had fallen, which I didn’t know about. Everyone applauded Brian, he got off stage and hugged me.

“That was beautiful.” I said, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you for picking that song.” He said, hugging me tightly. “You knew I loved it.”

“I remember you did a cover of it a while back, remember, I was there!” I exclaimed, making him and AJ laugh. He only nodded then excused himself to the bar to get a Coke.

“Alright, alright, that’s been two amazing performances! Next, can I have Nicky on the stage please!” The DJ announced, Nick looked down at ne and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Go, you’ll enjoy it. I promise.” I said, pushing him to the stage. He chuckled and walked up the stage. The chords of Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. He grabbed the mic and got in his rock and roll aurora. I smiled widely as he started the song.

Load up on guns; bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend. She's over-bored and self-assured, Oh no, I know a dirty word.

Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello.

With the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now; entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now; entertain us. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido.

Yeah, hey, Yeah.

I'm worse at what I do best. And for this gift I feel blessed. Our little group has always been. And always will until the end.

Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello.

With the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now; entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now; entertain us. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido.
Yeah, hey, Yeah.

And I forget just why I taste. Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile. I found it hard; it's hard to find. Oh well, whatever, never mind.

Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello, how low. Hello, hello, hello.

With the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now; entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now; entertain us. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido. A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial. A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial.

I couldn’t help but to smile at his performance. He was amazing; his stage presence was out of this world. “It seems like we have some professionals on our hands tonight!” The DJ exclaimed, as everyone applauded Nick as he walked off the stage. “I want to go ahead and get Al & Mada up to the stage!”

I looked at AJ and took his hand, pulling him gently with me. We got to the stage and grabbed our mics. We were still hand in hand; the melody of Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley started playing.

Is love so fragile, and the heart so hollow? Shatter with words, impossible to follow.
Saying I'm fragile, I try not to be. Try not be a search only, something I can't see.

I have my own life and I am stronger than you know. But I carry this feeling. When you walked into my house. That you won't be walking out the door. Still I carry this feeling. When you walked into my house. That you won't be walking out the door.

Lovers forever face to face. My city or mountains, stay with me, stay. I need you to love me. I need you today. Give to me your leather, take from me my lace.

I sang to AJ. He smiled the whole time. He brought our hands up to his mouth and placed a small kiss on my knuckles.

You in the moonlight, with your sleepy eyes. Could you ever love a man like me? And you were right. When I walked into your house, I knew I'd never want to leave.

Sometimes I'm a strong man, sometimes cold and scared, and sometimes I cry. But that time I saw you, knew with you to light my nights. Somehow I'd get by. First time I saw you, knew with you to light my nights, somehow I would get by.

He sang, looking at me. I couldn’t help but to smile. I caught a glimpse of the audience—everyone was swaying with their lighters lit.

Lovers forever face to face. My city or mountains, stay with me, stay. I need you to love me. I need you today. Give to me your leather, take from me my lace.

Lovers forever face to face. My city or mountains, stay with me, stay.

We sang in unison, then it was me singing alone. I wrapped my arm around his waist and laid my head on his chest.

I need you to love me. I need you today. Give to me your leather, take from me my lace. Take from me my lace. Take from me my lace. Take from me my lace.

As the song ended, the sea of people applauded. I smiled and leaned up, kissing AJ lovingly. He smiled against my lips, which made me smile. He picked me up and carried me down the stage, then let me down.

“I recorded that.” Brian said, wiggling his phone in his hand. I smiled and pointed to the camera man in the back.

“He is, too.” I said, with a small laugh. He grinned and kissed my forehead. I tightened my arms around AJ. “I love you.”

“I love you baby.” He replied, kissing me once more.

“Can I get Kev up on the stage?” The DJ asked. Kevin looked at me and playfully glared, I couldn’t help but to laugh. He sauntered up to the stage and grabbed the mic. Sawyer Brown’s This Night Won’t Last Forever began to play.

“May I have this dance?” Brian asked looking between AJ and I. I stepped back and granted him his wish. “As much as I love AJ, I don’t want to dance with him.” He said making AJ and I laugh.

“It’s fine with me, Rok.” AJ said, kissing me once more before he walked to the booth with Nick and Howie. Kevin’s smooth singing filled the club, as Brian and I started dancing slowly to the beat.

Everybody likes a celebration. Happy music and conversation. I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't have the blues. In the corner there's a couple dancin'. From the kitchen, I can hear 'em laughin'. Oh, I wish I was celebration' too.

“I’m proud of you, Lay. You have blossomed into an amazing lady. I’ve known you for a few years, and you have made our lives a lot better. AJ is so happy now, thank you so much.” Brian said, as we swayed.

“I love Al with all my heart, Bri. Ever since I’ve met you, Leighanne, Baylee, Kevin, Kris, Leigh, Howie and Nick, everything that I’ve been missing has been filled. Finding AJ like I did, made everything brighter.” I replied, patting his shoulder.

I know this night won't last forever. I know the sun is gonna shine sometime. I need some hope for a bright tomorrow. And I know this heart is gonna mend just fine

So, pardon me for my disposition. I wish I didn't have to sit and listen. They're playin' the same old songs on the stereo. She's been lyin' since the day I met her. I'd be better off to just forget her. Oh, I would rather be lonesome all alone.

“I’m happy you and him are together. Yal deserve the best—yal both have been through so much; good and bad. And you two are still by each other’s side. I know it was difficult back then, but he never lost hope.” Brian said, turning me around, and pulled me back to him.

And I know this night won't last forever. I know the sun is gonna shine sometime. I need some hope for a bright tomorrow. And I know this heart is gonna mend just fine.

“I never stopped loving him, Bri. I feel dumb because I never put two and two together until I did see him. I have the best life that anyone could ever have. You and Leighanne are my brother and sister I never had—you’re like my best friend. The guys, the girls, AJ and Baylee makes everything whole. I will forever be in debt to you.” I said, kissing his cheek.

“No, I know you love him. You have a big heart, you have a little boy that is in complete love with you. Baylee always asks about you—he wanted to know if you were coming on tour with us.” Brian said with a small smile.

“I am, I told Al that I would be there, and probably when yal start the southern shows. Which is in two weeks, I believe. I have to go back home for a little to make sure everything is going good with the studio. I have to go see about Ivory then I have the photoshoot for Ink’d when yal are on a small break.” I explained, he nodded.

Suddenly there's a strange vibration from my head to my toe. Fillin' me with a strange sensation. Somebody's tellin' me, somebody's sayin'.

“I can’t wait for the day that you and J are married. I can’t wait to see his face when you walk down the aisle to him.” He said sheepishly, making me furrow my eyebrows.
“You have that much faith in us, Bri?” I asked, looking in his eyes. They were bright, it wasn’t just because of the lights, they were full of hope.

“I do. I know you two have been through the same thing—it amazes me how much yal have overcome together and didn’t know yal were battling the same thing.” He replied, making me nod, “And that is the reason why I do have so much faith in you. When he looks at you and you look at him, it’s nothing but love.”

I know this night won't last forever. And I know the sun is gonna shine sometime. I need some hope for a bright tomorrow. And I know this heart is gonna mend just fine.

I know this night won't last forever. And I know the sun is gonna shine sometime. I need some hope for a bright tomorrow. And I know this heart is gonna mend just fine.

“I just hope that this tour will open his eyes. He knows he has you, like you have him. That’s true love. They always say when it’s meant to be, it will be. And I’m a firm believer that you and J are meant to be.” He said, hugging me to him tightly. “I love you Lay.”

“I love you Bri.” I said as we retreated back to our booth. The DJ called up several others for their time in karaoke—there were at least thirty people including us that signed up. I slid in beside AJ and laid my head on his shoulder.

“You okay baby?” He asked, I nodded and smiled.

“I’m great, Al.” I replied, kissing his jaw. He smiled and wrapped his left around me. “What time is the video shoot tomorrow?”

“I talked to Greg earlier and he said 7 AM.” Kevin said, I nodded and smiled.

“Well after we finish our karaoke, we can leave.” I said, as the guys nodded. “This is fun though, I’m with my favorite men, life is good. I can’t be happier.”

“We can’t either.” Nick said, then raised his Coke, “To the Backstreet Boys, our girls, and Lay. To our family, our friends, our album, and our upcoming tour.”

The five of us raised our Coke’s and clinked them with Nick’s, then took a swallow. As we sat there, I couldn’t help but to smile at the scene around me. Yes, we didn’t have the other ladies with us, but I couldn’t get out of my happy aurora.

“Can I get Lay up here please?” The DJ asked, I felt a nudge on my side. I jolted and looked at AJ.

“Go babe.” He said, kissing me sweetly. I grinned and slid out the booth, and made my way up to the stage. I grabbed the mic and heard Stand Back by Stevie Nicks start. I started dancing on the stage, I giggled as the guys came in front of the stage acting like fan girls.

No one looked as I walked by. Just an invitation would have been just fine. Said no to him again and again. First, he took my heart, then he ran.

No one knows how I feel. What I say unless you read between my lines. One man walked away from me. First, he took my hand, take me home.

Stand back, stand back. In the middle of my room, I did not hear from you. It's all right, it's all right. To be standing in a line. Standing in a line, I would cry.

Do not turn away, my friend. Like a willow I can bend. No man calls my name. No man came. So I walked on down away from you. Maybe your attention was more. Than you could do. One man did not call. He asked me for my love, and that was all.

Stand back, stand back. In the middle of my room. I did not hear from you. It's all right, it's all right. To be standing in a line; standing in a line, standing in a line.

So I walked on down the line. Away from you. Maybe your attention was more than I could do. One man did not call; well, he asked me for my love, that was all.

Stand back, stand back. In the middle of my room. I did not hear from you. It's all right, it's all right. To be standing in a line; standing in a line, standing in a line.

As I finished the song, I bowed and walked to AJ on the stage. He grabbed me, holding me in his arms. I smiled and leaned down, kissing his lips. “Can I have D up here?” The DJ asked. Howie growled playfully and hopped on the stage.

Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror started playing. I couldn’t help but to smile as D brought the mic to his lips. AJ stood behind me, with is arms wrapped around my waist. Brian was on my left, Nick was on my right, and Kevin was on the left of AJ. I snaked my arms in Brian and Nicks. Kevin slung his arm over AJ’s shoulders.

I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life. It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right. As I, turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat. This wind is blowing my mind, I see the kids in the streets, with not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs.

A summer disregard, a broken bottle top. And a one man soul. They follow each other on the wind ya' know. 'Cause they got nowhere to go, That's why I want you to know.

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love. It's time that I realize, that there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan. Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone? A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart, and a washed-out dream. They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see, 'Cause they got no place to be. That's why I'm starting with me.

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself, and then make a change. Change!

I'm starting with the man in the mirror (Oh yeah!), I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!) No message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place. (Take a look at yourself and then make the change). You gotta get it right, while you got the time, You can't close your, your mind!

The guys and I, along with the crowd was going wild. Howie was doing such an amazing job, it actually brought tears to my eyes and chills throughout my body.

(Then you close your, mind!) That man, that man, that man, that man, With the man in the mirror (Man in the mirror, oh yeah!) That man, that man, that man I'm asking him to change his ways (Better change!) No message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself and then make the change.

Oh no, no no. I'm gonna make a change. It's gonna feel real good! Chime on! (Change) Just lift yourself, You know, You've got to stop it, Yourself! (Yeah! Make that change!) I've got to make that change, today! Hoo! (Man in the mirror) You got to, you got to not let yourself. Brother, Hoo! (Yeah! Make that change!) You know, I've got to get that man, that man (Man in the mirror) You've got to move! Chime on! Chime on! You got to Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! (Yeah! Make that change) Stand up and lift yourself, now! (Man in the mirror) You know it! You know it! You know it! You know it (Change) Make that change!

As the song finished, everyone cheered for him. “That was amazing, tonights karaoke has been the best I’ve ever seen! Let’s get Nicky & Lay up here!” The DJ called, Nick stepped on stage, then helped me up. The melody of Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down sounded through the PA system. Nick looked at me and jumped up and down with happiness. I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Everyone on your feet!” Nick yelled before he started singing.

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind. I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time. I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon. I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah.

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon. After all I knew it had to be something to do with you. I really don't mind what happens now and then. As long as you'll be my friend at the end.

Nick wrapped his left around my shoulders, I wrapped my around his waist as we sang the chorus together. He grabbed my hand and spun me around, as we sang.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand? I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might, Kryptonite.

I walked to the edge of the stage and kneeled down with a little attitude.

You call me strong, you call me weak. But still your secrets I will keep. You took for granted all the times. I never let you down. You stumbled in and bumped your head, If not for me then you'd be dead. I picked you up and put you back on solid ground.

I sang then stood up, and felt Nick come up beside me. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and put the mic to his lips to sing with me.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand. I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might. Kryptonite.

We sang together, before the solo came on. He nudged me, then whispered, ‘Take this part’ I furrowed my eyebrows as the bridge come on. I stood at the edge of the stage and leaned over to AJ.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand. I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might. Kryptonite, yeah!

I stood up and grabbed Nick’s hand, as we jumped up and down acting like kids. I couldn’t help but smile.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand. I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might. Kryptonite.

As the second and ending solo come on, we sang ‘Whoah, oh oh’ until the song ended. Nick hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. “Amazing! Miss Lay you can stay up there, I need Rok to come and join you!”

I chuckled as Brian jumped onto the stage. He wrapped an arm around me as Cutting Crew’s (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight began playing. I looked at Brian, who stared at me wide eyed. I giggled and looked at AJ, who had the biggest smile on his face, along with the rest of the guys. We’ve heard Brian sing this many times while he was alone.

I looked up at Brian, “Take the first part.”

“Payback.” He said as he brought the mic to his lips. I stood in the back ground swaying to the music.

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight.

I keep looking for something I can't get. Broken hearts lie all around me, and I don't see an easy way to get out of this.

Her diary, it sits by the bedside table. The curtains are closed, the cat's in the cradle. Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this.

I walked up to him and leaned my arm on his shoulder for the chorus.

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight. Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been some kind of kiss. I should've walked away.

“Give it up for Lay!” Brian shouted in the mic. The crowd roared, making me smile.

Is there any just cause for feeling like this? On the surface I'm a name on a list. I try to be discreet, but then blow it again.

I've lost and found, it's my final mistake. She's loving by proxy, no give and all take. 'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times.

He and I started jumping around to the beat as the chorus came on.

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight. Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been some kind of kiss. I should've walked away.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, and laid his head on my shoulder for the bridge. I let him sing it all.
It was a long hot night. She made it easy, she made it feel right. But now it's over, the moment has gone. I followed my hands not my head, I know I was wrong.

I started laughing and kissed his head. I walked to center stage and held my hand out for AJ. He laughed and placed his in mine. I pulled him up on stage, Brian jumped on his back as he sang the chorus.

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight. Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been some kind of kiss. I should've walked away.

“I think it’s safe to say we want these people back, done we Boston?” The DJ asked, as everyone cheered heavier. “Al you can stay up here, sir. You’re next.”

“It’s perfect for you.” I whispered, leaning up and kissing him. He grinned against my lips, “Think about tonight, when we get back to the hotel.”

“Mmhm, fucking tease.” He groaned, in my ear.

“But you love me.” I retorted playfully.

“More than you’ll ever know.” He said, as I walked passed him. He slapped my ass, making everyone laugh. Seal’s Kiss From The Rose began playing. The guys and I stood at the stage, arms wrapped around one another’s waist. Howie and Kevin held up lighters as we swayed side to side.

Bah-ba-ba-ba-bah-da-da-da-bah, bah-ba-ba-da-da-ba-ba-ba-bah. There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea. You became the light on the dark side of me. Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill. But did you know that when it snows. My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?

He sang, then took the mic off the stand for the chorus.

Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah. Now that your rose is in bloom. A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Bah-ba-ba-ba-bah-da-da-da-bah, bah-ba-ba-da-da-ba-ba-ba-bah. There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain. Baby, to me, you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny. Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby? But did you know that when it snows. My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?

Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah. Now that your rose is in bloom. A light hits the gloom on the grey.

A small solo come on, AJ walked to the edge of the stage and leaned down, kissing me hotly. I smiled against his lips, and pushed him up.

I've been kissed by a rose on the grey. I've been kissed by a rose on the grey. And if I should fall, will it all go away?. I've been kissed by a rose on the grey

There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain. To me, you're like a growing, addiction that I can't deny. Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby? But did you know that when it snows. My eyes become large, and the light that you shine can be seen?

Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah. Now that your rose is in bloom. A light hits the gloom on the grey.

The guys and I held our arms up, screaming for AJ. He walked in front of us and touched our hands, making us go even crazier. He laughed at us fan-girling over him.

Yes, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah. Now that your rose is in bloom. A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Now that your rose is in bloom, A light hits the gloom on the grey.

As the song ended, I met him on the stage. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and picked me up, swinging me around. I giggled as he planted my feet on the stage floor. “I love you.” He whispered before pressing his lips to mine.

“I love you, too.” I whispered in reply.

“Wait Lay, don’t think about getting off stage, I need Mr. Kev up here with you.” The DJ said, Kevin walked up behind AJ and I, taking me from AJ. I fell dramatically in Kevin’s arms, making everyone laugh. AJ blew me a kiss.

“You’re singing first.” Kevin whispered in my ear. I nodded as Def Leppard’s Hysteria started playing. I had my left arm around his waist as I brought the mic up to my lips.

Out of touch. Out of reach, yeah. You could try to get closer to me. I'm in love, I'm in deep, yeah. Hypnotized; I'm shakin' to my knees.

I gotta know tonight, If you're alone tonight. Can't stop this feeling. Can't stop this fire.

Kevin brought the mic up to his lips to sing the chorus with me.

I get hysterical, Hysteria. Oh, can you feel it (Oh can you feel it). Do you believe it (Do you believe it). It's such a magical mysteria. When you get that feelin' (When you get that feelin'). Better start believin (Better start believin'). Cause it's a miracle, Say you will, ooh babe. Hysteria when you're near.

I started clapping my hands and swaying to the beat, as Kevin began his verse.

Out of me. Into you, yeah. You could hide, it's just a one way street. Oh, I believe I'm in you, yeah. Open wide, that's right. Dream me off my feet. Oh, believe in me.

I gotta know tonight. If you're alone tonight. Can't stop this feelin'. Can't stop this fire,
Oh!

We came together once again for the chorus.

I get hysterical, Hysteria. Oh, can you feel it (Oh can you feel it). Do you believe it (Do you believe it). It's such a magical mysteria. When you get that feelin' (When you get that feelin'). Better start believin (Better start believin'). Cause it's a miracle, Say you will, ooh babe. Hysteria when you're near.

Come on

I gotta know tonight. If you're alone tonight. Can't stop this feelin'. Can't stop this fire,
Oh!

I get hysterical, Hysteria. Oh, can you feel it (Oh can you feel it). Do you believe it (Do you believe it). It's such a magical mysteria. When you get that feelin' (When you get that feelin'). Better start believin (Better start believin'). Cause it's a miracle, Say you will, ooh babe. Hysteria when you're near. Oh babe (Oh can you feel it). Oh babe (Do you believe it)

He took the lines on the bridge, I took the high parts.

Oh (I get hysterical), Hysterical (Hysteria). Hysteria (When you get that feelin'), You better believe it (Better start believin'). 'Cause it's a miracle. Say you will, Oh baby, Say you will.

(Get closer to me), Get closer, baby. Baby, Closer (closer). Closer (get closer). Closer to me.

As the song went off, Kevin hugged me tightly. We walked off the stage as the DJ spoke, “Lay you might as well stay, girl.” I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows. “Someone signed you up for this one.”

“Great.” I said, looking at Brian, who just beamed. I grabbed the mic once more—the familiar tunes of Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks started playing.

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo-whoo-whoo. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo, baby, whoo. Said, whoo.

And the days go by, like a strand in the wind. In the web that is my own, I begin again. Said to my friend, baby, Nothin' else mattered. He was no more, than a baby then. Well, he seemed broken hearted, somethin' within him. But the moment, that I first laid eyes on him; All alone on the edge of seventeen.

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo-whoo-whoo. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Said, whoo, baby, whoo. Said, whoo.

Well, I went today, Maybe I will go again tomorrow, yeah, yeah. Well, the music there well it was hauntingly familiar. When I see you doin', what I try to do for me; with their words of a poet, and a voice from a choir, and a melody; nothin' else mattered.

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo-whoo-whoo. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Said, whoo, baby, whoo. Said, whoo.

The clouds never expect it, when it rains, but the sea changes colors, but the sea does not change. So with the slow graceful flow of age, I went forth with an age old desire to please, on the edge of seventeen.

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo-whoo-whoo. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Said, whoo, baby, whoo. Said, whoo.

Well then suddenly, there was no one left standing in the hall, yeah, yeah. In a flood of tears, that no one really ever heard fall at all. When I went searchin' for an answer, up the stairs and down the hall, not to find an answer. Just to hear the call, of a nightbird singin' come away, come away.

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo-whoo-whoo. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Said, whoo, baby, whoo. Said, whoo.

Well, I hear you (well, I hear you), In the morning (in the morning), And I hear you (and I hear you), At nightfall (at nightfall), Sometime to be near you, is to be unable to hear you.
My love, I'm a few years older than you, (I'm a few years older than you).

Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'. Whoo, baby whoo-whoo.

As the song finished, applause sounded throughout the club. I smiled and bowed, then walked off of the stage and into AJ’s arms. I looked at the time, it was already 10PM. The guys and I decided it was time to head back to the hotel, but before we left, I got a DVD of the karaoke session. We all got in the car with James, he took us back. It wasn’t but a blink of an eye, it seemed and we were there.

We got out the car and headed inside the hotel to our rooms. AJ and I said our goodbyes and goodnights to the others, and went to our room. Once he opened the door, we walked in, I quickly shut the door and pushed him against the wall, my lips on his.

He reached down and hooked the back of my thighs with his hands and pulled me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He walked us over to the bed and laid me on it—his lips never leaving mine. He pulled away and looked down at me smiling.

“What?” I asked, reaching up and unbuttoning his shirt.

“Nothing, you’re just beautiful.” He whispered, leaning back down and pressing his lips to mine. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it beside the bed on the floor. I worked on his belt as his lips worked on mine. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” I whispered, sitting up and sliding off the bed. I turned around, he unzipped me, then let the dress fall on the floor. I turned around, he hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me to him, pushing his lips back on mine in a hungry kiss.

I took his hat off, and unbuttoned his pants then pushed him on the bed. I grabbed his pants and pulled them off along with his boxers. I crawled to him, kissing up his thighs to his stomach. I licked over his 69 tattoo then up his chest. He grabbed me and sat me on him, making me gasp out loud.

“God Al.” I moaned, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. I worked against him, causing friction between us both. He held me tightly against him, as he worked in and out of me. I moaned loudly, pressing my lips to his. His thrusts became harder and steadier—just enough to send me over the edge.

“Fuck baby.” He groaned, as I sat up and started riding him. His hands roamed my body, stopping at my breasts. He took each nipple in between his index fingers and thumbs, rolling them gently. My head dropped back, feeling the rush of pleasure course through me.

“Al, oh god!” I moaned loudly, as he flipped us over. He grabbed my legs, resting them on his shoulders, I lifted my hips as he pounded in and out of me. “God damn Al!”

“Fuck Angel.” He grunted, quickening his pace. I felt a wave of pleasure rush through me, “Stay with me Angel.”

“Al I’m so close.” I whimpered, bringing his lips to mine. He deep thrusted in me, sending us both over. My walls clenched around him, milking him for everything he was worth. He laid his head on my chest, I smiled and ran my fingers through his sweat filled hair. I felt him smile as he kissed my chest.

He pulled out of me, laid beside me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I laid my head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat steady itself. “I love you Al.”

“I love you Angel.” He replied as we both well into a peaceful slumber, wrapped in each other, and wrapped in unconditional love.

Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!

I groaned as the beginning of AC/DC’s Thunderstruck alarm tone sounded throughout the hotel room. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was 5:30 AM. I turned the lamp on and looked down at AJ, seeing a smile resting on his face. I smiled to myself and leaned down, pressing my lips to his.

“Wake up baby.” I whispered, running my index finger down his chest to his 69 tattoo. His body shook, but never woke up. I bit my lip, smiling to myself. I leaned down, pressing my lip to his neck, trailing down his chest to his stomach. He moaned as I wrapped my hand around his hardened length.

I pumped him gently, taking the head in between my lips, working his shaft along the way. I took every inch, deep throating him with no avail. “Angel.” He called out, as I swirled my tongue around the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” He whispered, “Angel.”

I smiled to myself, crawling up him and settling myself on him, taking him fully. I moaned loudly, as I adjusted myself around him. His girth was a solid 3 inches, while his length was 7 inches. I moved steadily on top of him, feeling him contract against me. I moaned, throwing my head back, feeling his hands run up my legs and resting on my hips.

“Al, I want you to fuck me.” I whispered in his ear, before I took his lobe in between my teeth, gently tugging on it. Suddenly, he was awake. He flipped us over, and turned me on all fours. Without warning, he pushed into me relentlessly, making me moan louder. “Fuck Al.”

He leaned down, wrapping his arms around my waist; his chest flush against my back, his lips were at my ear, “This what you wanted?” He whispered hotly in my ear, sending chills throughout my body.

“Yes, God Al!” I moaned, turning my head and pressing my lips to his. “I want you always.”

“You have me Angel.” He said as he thrust in and out, deeper each time hitting my g-spot. I clawed at the sheets, a sense of pleasure coursed through my body.

“Fuck Al, oh god!” I exclaimed, meeting each thrust of his. “Don’t stop. Never stop.”

“Never.” He replied, his pace quickening. He leaned up, bringing me with him. His hands roamed my front, teasing my pulsating clit. My head fell on his shoulder, my lips attached to his. My left hand resting on his left cheek; my right hand met his and brought it up to my breasts.

“Mmhm, I love you Al.” I breathed out against his lips.

“I love you baby.” He replied, turning me around to face him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he wasted no time entering me once again. My arms were around his neck, bringing him unbearably closer. His lips fell on mine once more, our tongues danced in unison and fought for dominance. His lips left mine and made their way to the left side of my neck, biting and nibbling each inch of the skin. My left hand was tangled in the short hair he had on the back of his head, my teeth sunk in his left shoulder suppressing each moan.

“I’m so close.” I whispered, feeling the ball of fire grow more and more. “So, so, close.”

“Me, too. Stay with me baby.” He demanded, I nodded and dropped my head on the pillow, breathing heavily. His hands found mine, and held them against the bed. He raised up, thrusting harder and deeper than before.

“I can’t hold on Al, I’m fixing to –“ I started, but was cut off by his lips in an hungry kiss. I moaned against them, feeling my walls clench around him and the fire erupt. I tore my lips from his, moaning in unison with him as he filled me with his seed.

“Goddamn baby. What a way to wake up.” He said laying his head on my chest. I chuckled and kissed his head, as I ran my fingers through his hair, then up and down his back. “It’s 6 o’clock, baby.”

“I know. We need to get a shower and meet with the guys.” I said, as he pushed off of me and pulled me with him. “No funny business in the shower either, Mister.”

“Oh, someone’s being a professional already.” He said playfully. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, pulling him into the bathroom. I ran the shower water to a comfortable temperature, and stepped in, he followed suit. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him.

I smiled up at him, pressing my lips to his. “I love you.”

“I love you Angel.” He whispered, pushing my head back slightly, letting the water run through my long brown hair. He grabbed the shampoo and washed my hair for me, then rinsed it as well. As I washed his hair, he washed my body, making sure I was as clean as possible. Me being the wondering girlfriend I am, I reciprocated the gesture. Once we were finished without bath, we got out and ready for the shoot.

After drying off, I fixed my hair and then got dressed. AJ grabbed his sunglasses, sliding them on. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He chuckled and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the door. I wrapped my arm around his waist, as we walked to Howie and Kevin’s door. We knocked, and minutes later, they emerged, greeting me with a hug.

We walked to Nick and Brian’s room, they walked out before we could even knock. Following Howie and Kevin’s actions, they both hugged me tightly. The guys and I walked to the elevator, AJ placed his hand in mine and kissed my head.

The elevator dinged, letting know us know that we were on the bottom floor. Once the doors opened, we walked out the elevator, through the lobby to outside—James was waiting for us.

“Good Morning everyone, how are yal today?” James asked before we got in.

“Great, do you happen to know where we’re going?” I asked, hugging him.

“To the Copley parking lot.” He said, as he helped me in the car. I thanked him, then watched him get into the driver’s seat. I leaned against AJ, laying my head on his shoulder.

“Did you sleep well, Lay?” Brian asked from beside me. I nodded and smiled.

“I did, did you?” I asked, looking at him.

“I did. Leighanne told me to tell you hey. Baylee told me to tell you he loves you.” He replied, grabbing my hand.

“I love him, too. I’ll call him in a little bit.” I said, making him smile.

“He’ll like that a lot. He misses you. That’s the only thing he talked about last night.” Brian said making me laugh.

“I miss him.” I replied, “Will yal please tell me about the video?

“Nice try, but no.” Brian said, squeezing my hand. I groaned and closed my eyes.

“I don’t know how I put up with the five of yal!” I exclaimed dramatically, “What was I thinking?”

“You love us!” Nick exclaimed, making me furrow my eyebrows.

“That’s debatable.” I said, propping my feet up in his lap. He looked down at my feet and back up to me with a playful disgust on his face. “Now, when we do this video. Nick I was emotion when you sing! Look like you’re going to cry like a baby!”

“Never. I’m a man!” He retorted, making me roll my eyes.

“Yes, that may be, but you’re the youngest.” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. He smirked and leaned forward to me.

“You just stuck your tongue out at me!” He said, laughing loudly. I rolled my eyes.

“Why are we in a limo?” I asked, looking at Kevin, who just shrugged. I shook my head and laughed. “Yal kill me. So who’s the director?”

“Matt McDermitt.” Howie said to me. I nodded and smiled.

“Okay.” I said, as we pulled into the parking lot at the Copley. The six of us got out and stretched. I wrapped an arm around AJ and Brian’s waist, walking with them up to the trailer. Matt walked out and smiled as he saw me.

“Madalay Jane Ramirez, bring your beautiful self here and give me a fucking hug.” His thick Boston accent called out. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. I kissed his cheek, as he ruffled my hair.

“How do you two know each other?” Howie asked, looking between us.

“She introduced me to my wife, she’s around here somewhere.” He said, looking around, then back at me, “We worked on a few videos together.”

“Yes we did. He was also the photographer for a photo shoot I done a while back.” I explained. The guys smiled and nodded. “He took Diya away from me.”

“Oh, I did not! You set us up!” He retorted, making me roll my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” I said, walking back to AJ, who wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“So, makeup and hair is in this trailer. I have clothes that yal will wear, then yal can keep them. Lay if you want you can pick out their wardrobes, help with hair and makeup as well.” He said, “Then we’ll get started. I think this video will be my best yet.”

“Hell yeah!” Nick called, thrusting hi fist in the air. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Well yal go, there is also food in there. I need to go find my wife.” He said, excusing himself. I looked at the guys before walking to the trailer—them following in tow.

I stepped in the trailer and saw five chairs. Each guy took a seat as I began to get out clothes for them to wear. “Babe you’re wearing that, too right?” I asked, pointing at his clothes. He nodded and smiled. “Okay.”

I went through the clothes and picked Brian out a dark blue dress shirt with a black jacket and black dress pants, with a pair of black dress shoes. I got Nick a greenish brown color graphic t-shirt with a pair of dark rustic jeans, along with a brown jacket. I knew he’d wear his own shoes. For Kevin, I grabbed a black pinstripe dress shirt and a black leather jacket, along with a pair of black jeans. Howie was easy and simple, his was a white button down with wide pinstripe, and a grey blazer; he decided to wear his pants as well. AJ’s second suit was a white graphic tee with a black blazer and a grey scarf; he decided to wear his jeans and his ivy hat.

Diya walked in the trailer and immediately hugged me. I squealed and kissed her cheek. “You look so beautiful.” I said, as she smiled.

“You do, too. I bout died when Matty told me you were here.” She said with a smile, “I haven’t seen you in like months. How’s everything been?”

I looked at AJ and smiled, “Amazing. I need to introduce you to my best friends and my boyfriend.”

“Oh yes, you do.” She pressed making me smile.

“Al, Brian, D, Kev, Nicky, this is one of my best girlfriends and Matt’s wife, Diya. Diya this is my boyfriend AJ, but I call him Al. And my other best friends: Brian, Howie, Kevin and Nick.”

“Nice to meet yal.” She replied, with a small wave.

“Nice meeting you, too!” Nick exclaimed, giddily in his seat. I looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“You need to calm your ass down, Nicky.” I said, walking over to him and put him in a headlock. “Are you going to calm down?” I questioned, he nodded as the guys along with Diya laughed loudly. I let go of him and kissed his head. “Love you Nicky.”

“Love you Lay.” He started, “Come and makeupfy me.” He said, holding his arms out dramatically. I chuckled and rolled my eyes grabbing a makeup wedge and some translucent makeup.

“Close your eyes.” I said, grabbing the spray bottle and spraying his face in a light mist. I poured some of the liquid makeup on my hand, and dipped the wedge in the makeup. I started brushing it over his face, making sure everything was blended. I sprayed his hair, and grabbed some mouse, running my fingers through his hair, making it look like he normally wore it—messy and boyish. “Go get dressed.”

“Yes mam!” He saluted and jumped up. I giggled and shook my head, moving to Kevin. He closed his eyes waiting for me to spray him. After spraying him, I started with the makeup on his face, and then fixed his hair.

“You can get dressed,” I said with a smile. He nodded and stood up, kissing my head before walking to the back to get dressed. “Latin Lover, are you ready?” I asked, holding the spray bottle.

He grinned, “Spray me baby!” I giggled as he closed his eyes for me to spray him. I started on his makeup, then fixed his hair.

“Go get dressed, D.” I said, moving to Brian. Howie got up and headed to the back with the guys.

“The guys are doing a couple of group performances before we start on individuals.” Diya said, I nodded and smiled. “You have these guys wrapped around your finger.”

“Damn straight she does.” Brian said with a smile, before closing his eyes so I could do his makeup. Once I was finished, I did his hair.

“You’re done Bri, you can go change.” I said, kissing his head. “These are my guys, I love them more than they’ll ever know.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you two know each other?” Brian wondered, looking between us. I looked at Diya and nodded.

“I’m from West Palm Beach, Florida. I used to take dance lessons from her until my parents were killed in a plane crash. After they died, she was there for me—she took me under her wing. I kind of disappeared and ended up going to rehab, to my surprise, she was there in rehab as well. Once we got out, she took me under her wing again. She had a photoshoot, and Matt was the photographer; she introduced us. The rest is history.” Diya explained, wrapping her arms around my waist. I smiled and kissed her cheek.

“I wish I was half the person you are, Lay.” Brian said, looking at me. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I pulled away from Diya and walked to Brian, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“You are, Bri.” I started, “You are an amazing man. Amazing husband, father, brother and best friend. I’m thankful to have you in my life.”

“I’m thankful for you, too. I thank God each day for J’s smile because it’s because of you. You’ve made our lives brighter ever since you walked in.” He admitted, making me smile. I kissed his cheek, and hugged him once more before I wiped the fallen tears off my cheeks. “I love you Lay.”

“I love you Bri, now go get dressed.” I said, playfully pushing him. I moved to AJ, he wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his chin on the bottom of my sternum.

“This is the love of my life, Diya.” I said, looking over AJ’s face. He grinned and sighed happily.

“Is he also?” She started, I nodded. “I’m happy yal worked everything out.” She said, as I kissed his forehead.

“Me too, close your eyes babe.” I said, grabbing the spray bottle. I sprayed his face and started working on his makeup. After I was finished, I fixed his hat stylishly. “You’re done my love.”

He stood up and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, I took in his scent. I smiled and looked up at him, he pressed his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, Al. Yal need to go out and talk to Matt about the scenes.” I said, as the guys emerged from the back all dressed and looking amazing. He kissed me once more, before they walked out to talk to Matt.

I started working on my makeup and hair. “This is what you’re wearing. The guys picked it out.” Diya said with a dress in her arms.

“It’s a fucking slip!” I exclaimed, making her laugh. “It’s not funny, Di.” I whined, taking the dress from her. I stripped my clothes and put it on, she zipped it up for me—it fit me snug, but perfect, showing my curves. She handed me the shoes, I slid them on my feet and looked at my appearance. My phone started ringing, I grabbed it and answered it quickly before I saw who was calling.

“Hello?” I asked, putting my earrings in.

“Auntie Lay?” I heard a small voice over the receiver.

“Hey my Bay!” I exclaimed, sitting in the seat Brian had once occupied, “What are you doing up so early babe?”

“Can’t sleep. Mommy is up with me. What are you doing?” He wondered.

“I’m getting ready for a video shoot with your daddy and uncles. What are you doing?” I asked, looking at my fingernails.

“Helping Mommy pack my clothes. When do I get to see you?” He asked, “I miss you.”

“I miss you baby, and you get to see me in a little bit. I’m gonna come see you on tour, I promise. It will be in two weeks, but I’ll be there with you.” I said, hearing him sniffle. “Baby please don’t cry.”

“I want to see you though.” His little voice broke.

“Okay, how about this. I’m flying back home and I know I’ll have to stop in Atlanta, how about I take you and Mommy out for lunch before yal leave?” I asked, I knew he was smiling.

“Okay My Lay. I love you. Mommy wants to talk to you.” He said, kissing the phone.

“Okay Bay, I love you.” I said, kissing the phone. I heard him hand the phone to Leighanne, “Hey Leigh.”

“Hey baby doll, how are you?” She asked, I groaned loudly. “What are you wearing?”

“Leigh they have me in a freaking slip!” I exclaimed, making her laugh.

“Send me a picture. I’m fixing to fix him some breakfast, call me in a little bit.” She said, “I love you Lay.”

“I love you, Leigh. Tell Bay I love him again.” I said, before she hung up. Diya grabbed my phone and took a picture of me, I sent it to Leighanne. She replied that I looked beautiful and I wasn’t in a slip. I rolled my eyes and sent her a kissy face. I sighed and walked out of the trailer.

“Holy shit.” I heard Nick call. I looked over at him and the guys—they gaped and their eyes were widened. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked towards them.

“Guys, I’m in a fucking slip!” I exclaimed, hitting AJ softly in his stomach. They chuckled and each shook their heads. “I look bad don’t I?”

“Hell no baby, you are fucking beautiful.” AJ said, pressing his lips to mine. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him to me.

“Well thank you. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” I said with a smile.

“Alright guys, it’s time for the ally scene. We’ll run through the song like normal, then we’ll speed the track up.” Mark explained, the guys nodded and walked towards the ally with Diya, Mark and I following them. The music started, the guys spread out—from left to right it was Kevin, Howie, Brian, Nick and AJ. AJ jumped up against the wall and landed on the ground. They ran through the song, I couldn’t help but to smile.

The guys were made for this. It was all reality. AJ really surprised me, as well as the others; he was showing the most emotion—leaning against the wall, once his part came into the song, he took Brian’s place, still showing the emotion. After the first take was over, Matt had sped up the song so he could play with it on the video; Howie and Nick switched places for the second take. I couldn’t help but to smile, tears fell from my eyes—this will always be my favorite song. Even as they’re playing it, the emotion is real.

“Are you okay?” Diya asked, wrapping her arm around my waist. I nodded and smiled, watching as the guys had finished up. AJ made a b-line towards me.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” He asked, cradling me in his arms.

“Nothing, it’s just yal showed so much emotion. It was beautiful.” I said, looking up at him. He smiled and wiped my tears away before he pressed his lips to mine.

“Those two takes were amazing! We are ready for Lay to walk down the ally alone, then Lay and AJ will have a scene together. Then we’ll move on to the next scenes.” Matt said, AJ and I nodded and walked back to where the guys were standing. “Be natural. We’re going to run through the whole song. Talk, laugh, kiss, hug, sing. Do whatever, just be natural.”

“Okay.” I said, smiling at Matt. The song started, I looked at AJ and smiled. He brought his right hand up to my cheek, and his left one to my waist. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his in a small loving kiss. I pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine, his hands on the sides of my neck and sung the chorus. I held his wrists, as we swayed to the music. As his part came on, I looked up at him and smiled.

“Laugh like I’m funny.” He said, making me laugh loudly. He chuckled as I stepped back from him; he pulled me into him once more, my back flush against his chest. Matt walked around us with his camera. AJ wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, and sang to me. I smiled and turned my head looking at him. He grinned and pressed his lips to mine once more. “I love you Angel.”

“I love you Al.” I whispered, my eyes meeting his. As Kevin’s part came on, I started walking away, AJ grabbed me by my hand and pulled me back to him. Our bodies flush against one another. My right hand on his chest, my left still in his grasp. He looked down at me, his chocolate brown eyes boring into mine. I bit my lip as he leaned down and brushed his lips to mine. His hand dropped mine, and found its way around my waist, resting on the small of my back. His tongue ran over my bottom lip, begging for an entrance; he slipped through fighting my tongue with his. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. For the rest of the song, we were glued to each other.

“Cut!” Matt said, pulling us away, “Fucking beautiful.” The guys and Diya were applauding us. I smiled and walked along with AJ back to the trailer. He had to change for his next scene. While we were in the trailer, Brian was doing his scene in the middle of the road. As we emerged, it was time for me to walk down the ally by myself. I grabbed my Pea-Coat and put it on.

Matt gave me directions to walk down the ally, across the parking lot, to the bus stop. He played the song, I did as I was told. I had to do it once more but without the jacket. After I finished, Matt wanted to get a few close ups of me; he was going to piece into the video. After we finished, it was time for Nick and I. He sat on the bench as the song played, he sang along with it. He even had to kick the trash can, which he said hurt I walked behind the bench, and disappeared.

It wasn’t long before it was Kevin’s turn in the bar. He slumped over the bar, with a glass of water. Matt played the song, I stood behind him against the wall with no jacket and looked at him. His part of the song played, he sang then he turned around and saw me leaning again the wall, I disappeared, he saw my reflection in the mirror; on his part where he belts out "Never Let You Go" he threw the shot glass at the mirror. Matt yelled cut, and congratulated us on a great job.

Howie’s scene was easy, I tried not to laugh. I was to get in a taxi, he followed me. The door was locked, but as it unlocked and he opened the door, I was supposed to slip out on the other side. We ran it twice before Matt was satisfied with the two of us.

We took a small break, I re-applied AJ’s make up for his scene. I took a sip of coffee and shook my head, waking up. I grabbed one of AJ’s cigarette’s and lit it, taking a long drag. Matt was explaining to AJ his next scene. He was to walk down the ally, sing from the first chorus through the whole song, just as the guys did. He had to do it twice, the second time he was to kick the hydrant and the top was coming off and water would come out.

Brian stood beside me as we watched AJ do his part. He rested his right hand on my shoulder, I brought my left hand up and placed it on top of his. “You’re a natural.”

“You are, too, Mr. Littrell.” I said, looking at him. He grinned and chuckled, taking a swallow of his coffee. AJ went through the first take with no harm, the second one was going to be more fun, I thought. Only this time, he started from his verse of the song and played through. He went to kick the hydrant and missed the whole part, and kicked the bolt. My eyes widened, as he groaned in pain.

“Do it again, I’m fine.” He told Matt. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him. He nodded and smiled. He knew I was worried. Matt restarted the song—this time he did the hydrant perfectly. He sang under the pouring water… it was beautiful.

“Cut!” Matt exclaimed, “That was amazing!”

“You’re up Bri.” I said, kissing his cheek. He grinned and squeezed my shoulder before walking with Matt to the street. I grabbed two towels for AJ, and led him into the trailer as Brian did his scene twice. AJ changed quickly, and thanked me for the towels. “You did great baby.”

“Thank you, I hope it’s going to turn out good.” He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I looked at the time and it was only 12:00 PM.

“I have no doubt in my mind. The emotions yal showed for it was out of this world.” I said, wrapping an arm around his waist. He kissed my forehead and smiled. We walked out the trailer, as Brian was coming close to finishing his last take. We stood on the side and watched, as Brian got on his knees. I couldn’t help but to smile.

“And Cut!” Matt yelled, applauding, along with the crew and Diya. Matt hugged each of us tightly, thanking the guys for allowing him to direct the video. “This is going to be my favorite video, I can already tell.”

“I agree.” I said, hugging him. He kissed my head and smiled.

“It will be ready in two weeks, I’ll send the footage of what I got today in an email to you, Lay, and you can share it with the guys, also when I piece the video together I’ll send it to you on a DVD, okay?” He asked me. I smiled and nodded.

“Of course!” I exclaimed, hugging him once more. I changed, much to my dismay, Diya and Matt forced me to keep my clothes. The guys and I said our goodbyes to everyone and met James, who had our bags ready with Marcus. James took us to the airport, where we got on the private jet. Brian, AJ, Nick and I got on the queen size bed in the back and laid down. I was sandwiched between Brian and AJ, Nick was on the other side of AJ. AJ wrapped his arms around me tightly, I laid my head on his chest, and fell into a deep slumber.

I jolted away, feeling the jet hit turbulence. I sat up, breathing heavily, I looked around and saw I was the only one in the bed. Fear rushed over me as what felt like turbulence hit again; I jumped up and ran out of the bedroom, feeling myself fall forward on the floor. I heard movement behind me.

“Lay are you okay?” I heard Brian ask, I breathed heavily and pushed myself off the floor with the help of Brian and Nick. “Answer me, are you okay?”

I shook my head, trying to steady my breathing, but I couldn’t. Nick and Brian held my arms out and elevated, AJ emerged from the front his eyes widened. “What happened?”

“She’s hyperventilating,” Brian said, looking scared. I couldn’t breathe, I gasped for air. He took me in his arms and sat me on the couch. He pushed on my back gently, laying my head between my legs.

“Breathe baby, breathe.” He said, “In. Out. In. Out.” His hand rubbed up and down my back, soothing me tremendously. My breath finally got steady. I sat up shakily and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

“What happened baby?” He asked, running his fingers through my hair.

“The turbulence woke me up, yal weren’t there. I got scared, I ran in here, turbulence hit again, I fell down and started hyperventilating.” I explained, burying my head in his neck, “I was there alone.”

“I’m sorry baby. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to leave you alone.” He whispered, I nodded against his neck, “I won’t ever leave you alone like that again, okay?”

“Okay.” I whispered, pulling from him, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, babe.” He said, kissing me lightly. Brian tapped my arm and handed me a glass of water.

“Thank you Bri.” I said with a smile. He grinned and nodded, returning to his seat. I laid my head on AJ’s shoulder, snuggling into him. “I don’t see how yal do this shit.” I gritted out, hearing the guys laugh.

“You get used to it, Lay.” Kevin said, making me shake my head.

“Next time, just knock me out!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air dramatically. “Where we going anyway?”

“We’re on the way to Florida.” Brian said, “We’ve done went to California, got AJ’s and Nick’s stuff.”

“I’ve been asleep that long?” I asked, looking between the men. They nodded and smiled.

“Kevin and Howie stayed, Brian went with me to get the rest of my stuff.” AJ said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, kissing my head. I nodded and sighed, closing my eyes. “You want to go back to sleep?”

I nodded, “Will you lay with me?”

“Of course, baby.” He said, standing up, taking me in his arms. We said our goodbyes to the guys and walked back to the queen size bed. We laid on it, he pulled me to him, I laid my head on his chest and entwined my right leg between his. His hands clasped at my right hip, I brought my right hand up to the side of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I whispered in reply, feeling sleep overcome me once more. His light snores pulled me into a deep slumber, once again. The dull sun shone in my eyes, pulling me out of my sleep. I looked down at AJ, who was still sleeping. I saw Brian on my right, snoring lightly. I got up carefully and walked to the front where Kevin was. I sat beside him and snuggled into his arm.

“I have a bit of news.” He whispered, looking through the baby book “What to Expect, When You’re Expecting”, “Kris is pregnant.”

“That’s amazing, Kev!” I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around him tightly. “I’m so happy for you two!” Tears brimmed my eyes, falling onto my cheeks slowly.

“She just sent me a picture of her pregnancy tests. It’s finally happening, Lay.” He said with a bright smile. I nodded and grinned. “She said that her, Leigh, Leighanne, Baylee are at your house.”

“That’s fine, they all have keys. They know they can go anytime. What yal are doing before you leave is amazing.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder. “Yal have already toured for Never Gone, but it’s just amazing that yal are doing a few more shows before everything is over with.”

“Thank you for saying that. You will be joining us right?” He asked, I nodded.

“When yal come back to Orlando, West Palm, I’ll be there. I’ll do all the way up to Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Alabama, and Georgia. Then when yal have the first break, I have to fly out to LA for the Ink’d photoshoot.” I said, looking at the pages as he flipped them.

“That’s great. AJ will be really happy. I want to thank you personally for coming back in his life. You have made it a lot better; it’s amazing to see him smile genuinely again.” He said, kissing my head. I grinned.

“I should be thanking him, too.” I said, “Have you slept any?”

“A little,” He started, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

“You need to nap before we get to my house.” I said, looking at him. He smiled and chuckled, but complied.

“Okay, you win. You go back to sleep.” He said, pushing me lightly towards the back room. I shook my head and sighed happily, walking to the back. I crawled back between Brian and AJ, laying on my stomach and throwing my arms over them. I laid there and thought about my life—I really and truly couldn’t be any happier.

“Lay can you get J and Brian up? We’re fixing to land.” I heard Kevin ask from the door. I nodded and sat up.

“Bri, wake up, we’re fixing to land.” I said, poking his ribs making him jump away from me. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around. “We’re fixing to be at my house.”

“Okay, thank you Lay.” He said, hugging me tightly. He kissed my forehead and rolled off the bed, heading for the front. I laid beside AJ on my side and ran my fingers down his cheek.

“Wake up baby.” I whispered, running my fingers to his hair. He smiled in his sleep, curling into my. I grinned and pressed my lips to his. “Baby, you have to wake up.”
“I don’t want to.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I giggled and ran my hand up and down his back, “I just want to stay here.”

“I know, but you have to get up. We’re fixing to land. The girls and Baylee are at my house waiting for us.” I said, kissing his cheek. He nodded and yawned, making me yawn. I giggled and pulled him up.

“I love you, Mada.” He said, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

“I love you, Al.” I replied, kissing his head. I pulled away from his grasp and stood up, pulling him with me. We walked into the front and took our seats as Greg, the pilot, told us that we were fixing to land.

I grabbed AJ’s hand, squeezing tightly as we come into the runway at Palm Beach International Airport. Once the plane came to a stop, the guys and I got our bags and headed for my Denali—thank God we didn’t have to go through Airport Security. I grabbed my keys and unlocked the SUV, letting the guys put their stuff in the back. AJ grabbed the keys and got in the driver’s seat, starting it up. I climbed in the passenger’s seat, as the guys got in the back.

“I’m ready to see Baylee.” I said as we got on 95 heading towards my house. We turned off the ramp, coming onto a beautiful ocean front home strip. It wasn’t long before we were parked in my driveway. I got out quickly and ran inside, seeing Baylee coming down the staircase. He smiled and jumped in my arms, I held him tightly and spun us around.

“I’ve missed you Lay!” He exclaimed, kissing me all over my face. I grinned and kissed him quickly.

“I’ve missed you, too, Bay.” I said, sitting on the stairs, holding him to me.

“I see you’ve found your monkey!” Leighanne said, from behind us. She sat behind me and put her legs around Baylee and I. She hugged us tightly and kissed my head. “I’ve missed you as well.”

“It’s great to be home. I love California, I loved Boston, but flying is for the birds.” I said, looking up at her. She smiled and nodded.

“I hope you didn’t mind us coming here.” She said, I shook my head.

“Not at all, Leigh, you know that. That’s why yal have keys.” I said, with a small laugh.

“Okay, I was just making sure.” She said, running her fingers through my hair.

“Mama can I stay with Lay until she goes on tour?” Baylee asked, looking up at her.

“Baby Aunt Lay has things she needs to do.” She said, running her fingers through his blonde hair.

“He can stay. We have to go up to Georgia for a few days, then back to LA for the Ink’d magazine. But I don’t mind at all. In fact, I would love to have my Bay with me.” I said, giving him a raspberry on his cheek. He giggled and kissed my lips lightly.

“If it’s okay with your daddy, it’s okay with me.” Leighanne said, not putting up a fight. The guys walked in, dropping their bags on the floor by the door.

“Daddy! Can I stay with Aunt Lay until she goes on tour? Please, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior! Please, please, please! Mama said it was okay with her, I just had to ask you!” Baylee exclaimed, holding onto Brian’s leg. He looked up at me, I just nodded and smiled.

“If it’s okay with Aunt Lay, then you can.” He said, picking him up and hugging him.

“She said she wouldn’t want nothing else more!” Baylee exclaimed, making me laugh. “Yal leave in the morning right?”

“Yes sir.” Brian replied, as Leighanne and I stood up; she went directly to Brian for a hug and a kiss. “Do you have enough clothes to stay here?”

“I have a lot of clothes upstairs in his room, Bri. He’s got everything he needs. You and Leigh need a break, let me have him.” I said, patting his back.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” He said, looking at me.

“I’m positive.” I said, kissing his cheek. “Yal know where yal’s rooms are. Leigh, Lauren, Kris!” I yelled out.

“In the kitchen!” They yelled in reply, I giggled and grabbed AJ’s hand, pulling him behind me. They were making a spread, the table was set for supper.

“It smells so good in here.” I said, letting AJ’s hand go, and hugging Kris. I kissed her cheek, “I’m so happy for you. I get to be a Aunt?”

“Yes and more.” She whispered in reply. Tears of joy pricked my eyes. “Kevin and I need to talk to you after the tour.”

“Okay.” I said, with one more kiss on her cheek. Lauren pulled me from Kris, hugging me tightly. She kissed my cheek, and before I knew it, I was being tore away from her by Leigh. I giggled and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. “I’ve missed you ladies.”

“We’ve missed you.” They all said in unison. Leigh looked at me, “Are you and the hunk together?”

“I don’t know. Al are we together?” I asked with a wink. He smiled and walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my head.

“Why yes, yes we are.” He said, turning me around and pressing his lips to mine. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck—the girls wolf whistled, making me laugh and pull away from him. I hugged his middle, keeping my head on his chest.

“Uncle J keep your hands off my Aunt Lay!” Baylee exclaimed, walking into the kitchen.

“Never! She’s mine!” AJ exclaimed, picking me up in his arms. Baylee grabbed the broom from the closet.

“We must fight for her!”

“Fine! Lady Leigh shall keep the tally and keep an eye on thy Fair Maiden Madalay!”

“Fine, grab your sword!” Baylee said, I looked at Kris and started laughing. “Daddy, Uncle Kev, Uncle D, Uncle Nick, come quick and watch your brother die!”

After Baylee called for them, they were there in an instant. AJ grabbed the mop and held it up. “I shall win the heart of Lay!”

“No, I shall! She’s mine little dude!” AJ retorted as they started to play fight. I couldn’t help but to laugh. I shook my head and wiped the tears that had fell from my eyes. Baylee put a number on him, hitting AJ as much as he could. AJ fell to his knees from Baylee hitting the back of his legs hard. My eyes widened as Baylee took the broom and put in AJ’s chest pushing him back lightly, winning me. AJ fell back and pretended to play dead.

Baylee walked to me, climbing up in my lap and kissed my cheek. “I win you Lay!”

“You did!” I said, hugging him. “But I think Uncle J needs some love, too.”

“Okay.” He whispered, sliding off of me and walked back to AJ, kneeling down beside him. “I think we can share her. I get to stay here for two weeks with her.”

“Smart man.” AJ said, grabbing him in his arms. Baylee laughed loudly, and stood up helping AJ up the best he could. AJ laughed and stood up, bending down and pressing a small kiss to his head. AJ walked to me and took me in his arms.

“Since he won, I have to give you up.” He said, pouting playfully.

“Uncle J I said we can share!” Baylee exclaimed, making everyone laugh. “Aunt Lay can we eat now?”

“Can we mommy?” I asked, looking at Leighanne. “Can we Auntie Leigh, Kris and Law?”

“Yes, it’s going to get cold before it’s over with.” Lauren said with a smile. “Yal take yal’s seats, we’ll get everything passed out.”

“I can help.” I said, looking at the girls, who gave me a nasty ‘sit your ass down’ glare. I feigned and grabbed Baylee in my arms and walked to my chair. He sat beside me, Brian on his left, AJ on my right. Kevin was adjacent to AJ, Howie sat in front of Baylee and Nick beside him. Lauren and Leigh passed the plates out whilst Leighanne and Kris did our drinks.

After they sat down, we joined hands for a prayer, “Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this food that is fixing to nourish our bodies. I want to thank you for bringing the women in our lives, thank you for letting us see AJ smile again. Thank you for keeping him in good health, as well as each one of us. Thank you for allowing us to know and bringing Madalay in our lives. I have a great feeling about this upcoming record. Also, this is Kevin’s last tour with us for a small amount of time—no matter what he will always be a Backstreet Boy. Please bless us for the new beginnings that we are to come to. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.” Brian closed, with each of us echoing an ‘Amen’.

We started eating, making small talk and enjoying each other before they departed. I was excited to spend my two weeks with Baylee, it has been long overdue. I was in over the moon with him; I always imagined my children being like him—well mannered, full of joy and life, it was something I thought about often.

The next morning was rough seeing the guys and girls off, but Baylee and I only had two weeks without them. AJ being the protective person he was, had Marcus stay with Baylee and I; which we didn’t have a problem with that. AJ ended up getting Q to be his bodyguard until we got on tour with them. The week got better, it was hard but we made it work—now only four days was there between us.

This tour was focusing on the US and some cities in Canada and Mexico. Baylee and I were going to the ones in the South, ranging from Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Florida and Alabama.

Luckily for Baylee and I, we didn’t have to fly out to LA so quickly—Ross told me that they wanted AJ to do the spread with me since we’re together. I couldn’t think of a better way of doing a spread than that.

“Aunt Lay can we cook?” Baylee asked, looking up at me. We were in the middle of Charlotte’s Web. I looked down at him and nodded. “After the movie though.”

“Of course we can, Bay.” I said, wrapping my arm around him and kissing his head. My phone vibrated against my leg. I smiled reading the text from AJ: I miss you. I love you. I’m ready to see you

I couldn’t quit smiling. I replied back: I miss you more AND I love you more. Four more days!

He quickly replied: How bout Ink’d called me and asked if I could do a photoshoot with you. That’s pretty fucking amazing.

I smiled and replied: I know. Ross called me earlier and told me. When we finish the tour we go to LA. That saves me a trip! Thank God for you, baby.

He replied just as fast: Oh, so that’s why you keep me around, huh? What are you and B-man doing?

I sighed and replied: Watching Charlotte’s Web. Marcus is getting some groceries for tomorrow. Your mama and Tony are coming over for supper. Bay says hey.

He replied: I wish I was watching Charlotte’s Web with yal. She called me earlier and told me; she’s excited to spend time with you and Bay. Tell him I said hey and I love him.

“Bay, Uncle J said he loves you.” I said, kissing his blonde locks.

“Tell him I love him.” He said, looking up at me. I smiled and nodded before replying back: He said he loves you. I have a surprise for you when I see you.

He replied quicker than normal: Intriguing minds baby. I want to see!

I chuckled, hearing Baylee snoring lightly. I picked him up and took him upstairs to his room and put him in the bed. I kissed his forehead and walked to my room through the balcony. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag, sitting on the rod iron chair. I decided to reply with a witty text: If I do recall you said you had something to show me, too. So, let’s see it.

He replied: The things you do to me. My facial hair grew back just for you.

I replied: Thank God! I’ve missed it. Call me? I laughed loudly of the fact that it didn’t take him but a second to call me.

“Hey love.” I answered, hearing a smile in his voice.

“Hey baby, so, I want to see what you have to show me.” He pressed, but I didn’t give in.

“I can’t show you right now. You’ll see when I get to you in four days.” I played, looking down at my left hand seeing AL with a king crown over the A, above my thumb, in the traditional tattoo script with yellow color. “I think you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will. I want to see you so bad.” He whined, making me laugh. “Facetime me, please.”

“Okay, give me a second. I love you.” I replied, hanging up before he could say anything. I clicked the Facetime button, waiting for his face to pop up. I smiled brightly as it did. “Handsome as ever.”

“Shit, I’m looking at a Goddess right now.” He said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“No, I have no makeup on, I have my nerd glasses and I’m in sweats. No Goddess here.” I retorted, smiling bitchily at him. He laughed and shook his head.

“You’re always a Goddess.” He sighed, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, baby. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, just sad. I’m the only one with no one. I don’t want to be lonely.” He said, frowning slightly.

“I know babe, but just think—four days. Only four days and you do get to see me, hug me, hold me.”

“Be in you?” He wondered slickly. I grinned and nodded.

“Yes, be in me. Among other things, but yes.”

“I love you so much Angel.” He said as his eyes glassed up.

“I love you baby, please tell me what’s wrong.” I begged, studying his face. He wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I know something’s wrong.”

“Just thinking about things. The things I’ve thought about… they made me thank God every day. I have you, I’m healthy, I have the guys.” He said. I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. “Everything in my life is finally right.”

“Baby, you’re gonna make me cry.” I said, as the tears slipped down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly and smiled.

“You’re my everything.” He whispered, loud enough for me to hear him.

“You’re mine,” I said running my finger over his face on the screen, “You’re everything and more, Al.”

“I can’t wait to hold you. I love seeing you on Facetime, I just can’t wait to see you in person.” He said, biting his lip. “It’s never been this hard for anyone except for you. When I left the first time all those years ago, it broke me completely. I need you in my life all the time, Angel. I don’t want to go through not having you like I did.”

“I need you baby.” I whispered, as the tears fell out of my eyes, “You won’t ever have to go through that again.”

“Promise?” He asked through his tears. I nodded and smiled.

“Pinky.” I replied, seeing him smile slightly. I bit my lip and sighed, “Talk to me. What brought all these thoughts?”

“Just me being lonely and thinking. I just miss you; the guys and girls do, too.” He said, sitting back in his chair and lighting up a cigarette.

“Well, I miss you and them, too. What time is the show tonight?” I asked, taking a drag of my cigarette.

“8 PM, it’ll be 10 PM for you.” He said, “It’s supposed to be broadcasted.”

“I think I can stay up and see my beautiful man sing.” I said, making him smile, “Do you know what it’s broadcasting on?”

“Jaime said he can tap in your IP address to give you the full show.” He said with a big smile, I giggled and nodded.

“That will work, he should know it.” I said, winking at him. I heard him sigh loudly, “Baby talk to me, what’s wrong.”

“You are so beautiful, you know that?” He asked, almost robotically. “You are everything I could ever want and more.”

“I wish you would tell me what’s wrong.” I said, taking the last drag of my cigarette. I put it in the butt bucket I had, and sighed.

“I did. Being alone is getting tiresome, Mada. Like I don’t even feel like myself when I’m not around you.” He said, “I’m fucking addicted to you and I’m trying to figure out a way to not be.”

“I don’t mind that you’re addicted me to. I rather be what you’re addicted to than something else. I love you with all my heart, Al.” I said, wiping the tears that fell from my eyes once more.

“Baby don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He whispered, frowning slightly. I shook my head and bit my lip.

“I know what it feels like Al. Trust me, because I’m addicted to you. We can’t turn back down those roads again; we have each other… it’s our new high. We have to maintain that.” I said, lighting another cigarette, taking a long drag, “I don’t ever want you to think that you have to go back to drinking and cocaine. I’m here for you as your girlfriend, as your lover, as your friend, Al. Regardless of what you think you do or don’t need; you can always talk to me.”

“I know baby.” He said, busting out in a heavy sob, “I know. I just… I’m so used of being around you and you’re not here. I need you like a drug. You’re the only thing I have going right in my life. To be honest, the only reason I’m doing this is for you, for us. I don’t want you to give up on me—my heart couldn’t take that. It would kill me if that ever happened. It would kill me if I didn’t have you. You came back into my life and turned it upside down, in a good way, and I don’t want to go back to how I was before you.”

I wiped my eyes and took a drag of my cigarette, “I’m with you forever, Al. No matter what. I’ll be there in no time, my love, okay? Then it’s us from there on out—my house is your house.”

“When I see you, can I just hold you for like thirty minutes? No speaking, no anything, just hugging.” He asked, smiling through his tears.

“Of course you can baby. Better yet, how about when I get to you, you and I lay in the bed and just hold each other?” I asked, tilting my head. He nodded and smiled.

“I can’t wait.” He said, with a smile. “Hey J come on, we got to do sound check. Hey Lay!” Brian came into view. I smiled and waved.

“Hey Bri.” I said, “Baylee’s asleep. He’s ready to see yal.”

“Good, I’m ready to see him.” He said with a bright smile. “I hate to pull you two away from each other, but we have to get to sound check. Love you Lay!”

“Love you Bri!” I exclaimed, watching him walk out the room. AJ just smiled at me. “Hey, you, I love you the most, more than anything in this world okay?”

“I love you baby. So, so much.” He said, blowing me a kiss. I smiled and purse my lips getting two inches away from the screen and kissing him. “I’ll call you before we go on.”

“Okay my love, have fun. Be safe.” I said, with a bright smile.

“Bye beautiful.” He said, with one last look. I smiled and waved to him as he disconnected our Facetime. I sighed and finished my cigarette, before I walked back inside and checked on Baylee, who was sound asleep. I walked downstairs and saw Marcus putting the groceries up.

“Hey sweetie,” He said, “I talked to J earlier. He seemed a bit sad.” I nodded and started helping with the groceries.

“I know. I just got off Facetime with him; he didn’t seem like his normal self. We had a heart to heart, we both cried.” I said, leaning against the counter. I heard Monty and Minky scratching the back door, I walked and opened the door letting them in. They ran into their kennels and began eating their food.

“He misses you a lot, you can tell.” He said, looking over at me. I nodded and sighed heavily, “He’s used of being around you, and now you’re not it’s breaking him down. You’re his addcition.”

“He told me,” I said, looking over at him, “Marc I told I’m fine with being his addiction. I rather be his addiction than him turning back to cocaine and alcohol. I told him that we can both be each other’s high, and that we didn’t need to go down those roads again, because we’re better than that.”

“I like that. See, I knew you were the girl for him. You have his best interest in mind, you’re not out for spotlight nor money. You have that—you have his best interest at heart. That’s all you care about.” Marcus said pointedly. He read me like an open book.

“You’re absolutely right, Marc.” I said with a small smile. “That’s all I ever wanted, even when we were younger.”

“I know that, and he knows that, I promise. The more you push on him about you being there for him, the easier he will see that you’re really there for him and his best interests. Although, I think that you are his best interest, and he’s yours.” He said with a smile. Damn he’s good.

“It scares me that you know me so well.” I said, grabbing a water from the refrigerator. He chuckled and hugged me gently.

“Don’t let it. I can finally read you now, and it’s not that bad.” He said with a smile. I laughed and shook my head. My phone vibrated, it was a text from AJ: Thinking of you.

I excused myself and walked through the house to the living room. I smiled at the text and replied: Thinking of you, babe.

I switched from the DVD to the satellite. I grabbed the remote and started browsing through the channels, ending up on Boy Meets World; as it was going off the familiar beginning notes to No One Else Comes Close started playing.

I grinned and grabbed my phone, sending a text to AJ: I turned it to Boy Meets World, and guess what I hear at the end? No One Else Comes Close. :) #OurFate

A new episode comes on; one of my favorites the Halloween episode. Feeny gets a pencil in the back, Rachel and Jack gets a bookcase pushed on them, Shawn is a doppelganger. I smiled and sunk in the couch, laying on my side. I heard Monty and Minky pad through the house, and ended up jumping on the couch with me, before settling down at my stomach.

They’ve been doing that for the past week, they’ve never done that before—it was a surprise to say the least, it was as if they were guarding me. The three of us laid on the couch, until I heard small feet pad down the stairs.

“Auntie Lay?” I heard Baylee ask.

“In here baby.” I called, hearing him come closer. He stood in the doorway wiping the sleep from his eye, with the stuffed dog I gave him under his right arm. “Come here my love.”

He walked over to me, Minky and Monty moved behind my head, resting on my shoulder. He slid in, laying his head on my arm, I wrapped my free arm around him snuggling him closer. I kissed the back of his head, “Did you have a good nap?”

“Yes ma’am. Aunt Lay can I ask you a question?” He wondered, waiting for an answer.

“You can always ask me anything. What’s up Buttercup?” I asked, bending the arm he was laying on so I could run my fingers through his hair.

“Will you always love me?” He asked.

“Baby no matter what I will always love you, why?” I questioned.

“What if you and Uncle J gets married and you have a baby?” He asked, looking at my arm, running his fingers over his name.

“Listen to me, even if Uncle J and I do get married and have a baby, you will still be my baby and I will always love you. You’re my big baby and when the time comes for me to have a baby, you get to be his or her big cousin. That means you get to teach them, help them.” I said, kissing his head. I saw Marcus leaning against the threshold with a smile on his face.

“You promise you won’t ever stop loving me?” He said, turning towards me.

“Baylee Thomas, I promise with everything in me and from the bottom of my heart that I will always love you. I will never stop loving you. It’s not possible for me to stop loving you.” I said, hugging him to me. I kissed his forehead, letting my lips linger for a minute. “You’re my number one guy. Don’t tell Uncle J or Daddy, that’s between us.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He whispered, wrapping his small arm around me. I hummed his favorite “Daddy songs” The One. “Do you think I would be a good big cousin?”

“There is no doubt in my mind that you wouldn’t baby.” I said, kissing his head once more before he snuggled into my neck. I ran my free hand up and down his back, until I heard him lightly snore once again.

“I can’t wait to see you as a mommy.” Marcus said, taking Baylee gently from my arms and laying him on the short end and attaching ottoman of the sectional couch. I sat up and grabbed ‘our’ fleece Thomas the Train blanket, laying it over him. I bent down and kissed his head before I walked into the kitchen and started an easy supper—Hamburger Helper.

I browned the ground beef and boiled the noodles. Marcus walked into the kitchen and sat down at the island. “What’s up Marc?”

“Nothing J just texted me and told me to tell you that he loves you and they were fixing to eat real quick and he’d call you before they start.” He said, looking on his phone.

“Tell him I love him, and I’ll be waiting.” I said, looking over my shoulder. He nodded and smiled, replying to AJ. After browning the ground beef, I put it in the colander in the sink, letting the grease drain. After it drained, I put it back in the pan on the stove, then drained the noodles. I opened the sauce pack in the ground beef and mixed it together. I grabbed the noodles and poured in the ground beef, mixing them together. I turned down the stove top, letting it simmer together. I grabbed the sour cream out of the fridge and put a small dab in the Hamburger Helper and stirred it together.

“Something’s on your mind.” Marcus said, as I fixed the three of us a glass of tea. I turned to him and sighed.

“I’m just worried about him. You think that tomorrow night we can leave for Georgia? They start in Kentucky the day after. I just have to stop by Ivory and sign the papers.” I said, looking at him. “Den and Tony are coming for lunch, so after they leave we can leave. We can take turns driving. I just want to surprise AJ.”

“That sounds great, babe.” He said, as I fixed him a plate and sat it in front of him, along with his tea. I smiled and walked into the living room seeing Baylee stir in his sleep.

“Hey baby, you ready to eat?” I asked, sitting beside him. He groaned and laid his head on my leg. I ran my fingers through his hair. “I made your favorite.” His eyes shot open, making me laugh. He sat up and held his arms out. I wrapped him up in my arms and walked into the kitchen, sitting him by Marcus. I fixed his plate and sat it in front of him, along with his sippy cup.

“How far away is Statesboro from Jacksonville?” Marcus asked, looking up at me.

“Three hours. If you drive to Jacksonville, I’ll drive from there to Statesboro. We stay on 95, go to Savannah hit 16 go straight in Statesboro, we’ll hit Ivory, then get on 25 go through Millen, Waynesboro, then to Augusta, we’ll fly to Kentucky.”

“Sounds good to me.” He said, as he ate his supper. I smiled and nodded, before I fixed myself a plate. I sat down beside Bayle and texted Brian to call me ASAP. After we finished eating, I washed our plates, then ran Baylee’s bath for him. Once he was in, my phone was ringing—it was Brian.

“Hey Bri, where at in Kentucky are yal starting out at?” I asked, giving Baylee his toys.

“Covington, why?” He asked, making me chuckle.

“Well, I wanted to surprise Al—he’s been acting funkier than normal.” I said, hearing him snort.

“Yeah, I know. He misses you a lot, Lay. We all do, but he’s taking it hard.” He said, “How about in the middle of the show we’re singing “Safest Place to Hide”, you know the song by heart and you’ve played it acoustically, do that and video it. Say some cute lovey stuff to J, then just sing the first two verses, put the guitar down and stand up, then you’re behind the curtain and you come out, the band will pick up on the chorus.”

“I love it Bri. Okay, great! We have to stay hidden from him though.” I said, “Baylee too, because if he sees Baylee or Marcus he’ll know I’m there.”

“Marcus can be in the crowd with security.” He said, making me nod.

“Okay, that works. What about Baylee?” I asked.

“He can stay in my dressing room, J won’t go in there.” He said, I smiled widely.

“Amazing! I can’t wait! How’s he acting now?” I asked hearing him sigh.

“He hardly ate his supper.” He said, my heart was breaking. “I tried to get him to eat more than what he did. Call him okay?”

“Okay, love you Bri.” I said, feeling the tears well up into my eyes.

“Love you Lay.” He whispered, before he hung up. I bit my lip and called AJ as quick as I could.

“Hello?” He asked drowsily.

“Al… baby why didn’t you eat?” I asked, hearing his breathing change.

“Didn’t feel like it. I miss you.” He said lowly.

“Baby, I miss you, too, but I need you to eat okay?” I questioned lightly, he sighed but complied.

“Okay, I’ll eat. What are you doing?” He asked, seemingly to lighten up a bit.

“Sitting in the bathroom with Baylee, he’s taking his bath. He’s tired as I don’t know what, my little baby is wore slap out. How did sound check go?” I wondered, hearing him chuckle.

“They went fine. What have you done to him all day?” He asked, making me smile.

“We painted, played a lot. Went to the beach and had a picnic. Anything he wanted to do, we done.” I replied, looking at my fingernails.

“That sounds like fun. He sure does love his Lay.” He said, I knew he was smiling.

“I sure do love my Bay.” I said, looking at Baylee, who was dozing off. “Hold on for a minute, love.”

“Okay baby.” He said. I got up and rinsed Baylee off. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around him, taking him in my arms. I grabbed the phone and put it to my ear. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah, he was falling asleep in the tub. I’m fixing to get him dressed for bed, and in the bed.” I said, walking into his room. I laid him on the bed and grabbed him a pair of underwear. I dried him off and put his underwear on, along with a T-Rex t-shirt that AJ bought him. “What you doing my love?” I asked, pulling back the covers to Baylee’s bed.

“Nothing, just sitting on the bus.” He said, as I tucked Baylee in. I leaned down and kissed his head, and whispered that I loved him. I walked out his room and closed his door. “You are so good with him.”

“I love that little boy, Al. He’s a big part of my heart.” I said, walking to my room. I grabbed a cigarette and walked on the balcony, sitting in my chair. I propped my feet up and took a drag. “I love you.”

“I love you baby. I can’t wait to see you.” He said, making me smile widely. “Four long days.”

“They’ll go by quick, baby. I promise.” I said, hearing Kevin in the background.

“I got to go baby, I’ll give you a shout out at the show.” He said, making me laugh, “I love you baby. I love you so much.”

“I love you Al, so, so, much.” I said, before we said our goodbyes. I finished my cigarette and walked back inside. I walked to my closet and decided what I was going to wear for the show to surprise AJ. I thought it would’ve been better if I did it to where I wore the same in the video that I was going to send to him. I smiled and found what I was going to wear. I slipped the shirt and pants on quickly, then walked in the bathroom and done my makeup. I smiled as I looked in the mirror seeing the quick version of how I would look.

When I finished, I walked downstairs to the studio. I grabbed my acoustic electric Dean Cutlass guitar and plugged it up. I put my phone on the tripod and cut it on to video. I pressed record and sat down.

"Hey Guys, yal are looking amazing! Can you hear me? " I paused for six seconds, "Okay good. Hey everyone at the show, I know you're enjoying it! I won't take up much of your time, but I want to talk to AJ, so step up front and center, my love." I counted to ten, and smiled.

“Hey Al,” I started, before singing, “I just want you to know!” I laughed lightly, “That I love you with all my heart. I hope you’re watching this. Ever since you came back into my life, I’ve been happier than I ever been. Ma and I were talking the other day, and she brought up our marriage when we were kids. I remember you being hell bound and determined about that.” I laughed, “We had your mama officiating it and everything. She drew up papers for us to sign; she still has those. She even gave me a copy of both for me to keep.” I grabbed the picture of him and I after we were ‘married’ and held it up, smiling widely.

I grabbed the paper we both signed and held it up—I started tearing up; “You are not only my boyfriend, you are my heart and my best friend… Don’t tell Brian. I love you Brian, Nicky, Kev, and Latin Lover as well, think no different, yal are my mens! Al, no matter what, no matter what our pasts were like, we were still connected in a weird way. We both went through the same things, but it takes us to come out on top. We can’t live in the past, we can only live in the present and make sure our future is us against the world. You’re my addiction, you’re what I yearn for day and night, even when you’re right beside me. I love you with all my heart, I hope you enjoy this. I found one thing for sure; you’re my safest place to hide.”

I wiped my fallen tears and took a deep breath. I grabbed my guitar and started playing the chords to Safest Place to Hide. I closed my eyes swaying to the chords,

Yeah, yeah; It seems like yesterday when I said "I do". And after all this time my heart still burns for you. If you don't know by now that you're my only one. Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone.

I know I promised you forever. Is there no stronger word I can use, to reassure you when the storm is raging outside; You're my safest place to hide

I blew him a kiss and stood up, walking away behind my phone and cut it off. I sent it to Brian for him to watch. He sent a reply: That made me tear up. I love you Lay, he’s going to be over the moon! I ran it by the guys and they all smiled. We promise not to tell him.

I grinned and replied: Good, I love you Bri. Have a great show. Bay’s in washed and in bed. I’m fixing to turn it to the broadcasting.

I quickly sent out a group message: I love each and every one of yal. I’m so proud of you five. I’ll be watching the broadcasting!

It wasn’t just seconds later, I got five separate texts. AJ: I love you baby! Thousands upon thousands of kisses, my love., Brian: Love you Lay, shoutout from us to you!, Kevin: I admire you. Love you most!, Nick: Love you Lay! Listen for your name!, Howie: Te Amo Senora!

I changed back in my sweats and walked downstairs, seeing Marcus sitting on the couch. I sat beside him and turned the TV on, Jaime was tapped in to my internet. I smiled watching everyone filing into the arena. I grinned even wider when the lights went down and the guys appeared on stage, starting with The Call.

I had a permanent smile on my face the whole time. They went through My Beautiful Woman, More Than That, Climbing the Walls, Shape of My Heart, The One.

“I want to take the time to thank each and every one of yal for coming tonight.” Brian started, “Our wives and fiancé’s and us are missing an amazing woman. AJ misses her the most.”

“I miss her more than anything, she’s the love of my life—the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The guys can agree with that and back me up.” AJ said, “Madalay I love you so much beautiful. I can’t wait to see you in Tennessee.”

“She’s helped him even when she hasn’t even realized. Thank you Lay.” Howie said, wrapping his arm around AJ’s shoulders. AJ just nodded and beamed.

“She has been his saving grace.” Kevin added, “She’s beautiful inside and out, and is a perfect fit for AJ.”

“She’s patient with all of us, and we get to keep her forever!” Nick said, jumping around like a kid. I giggled and shook my head.

“We love you Lay!” Brian, Howie, Kev and Nick called out.

“I love you beautiful!” AJ exclaimed, making me smile. Marcus reached over and brushed his finger against my cheek. I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows.

“You’re crying.” He said with a small smile. I chuckled, not even realizing that I was.

“Thank you.” I said, before wiping them away. They started the rest of their show with I Still…, I Want It That Way, Lose It All, Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Larger Than Life, Siberia. With a short interlude of We’ve Got It Goin On, they come back with All I Have To Give, As Long As You Love Me, I’ll Never Break Your Heart, Just Want You To Know, Crawling Back To You, Drowning, Incomplete and ended it with Everybody.

I clapped loudly, and sighed, looking over at Marcus who had the most priceless expression on his face that I have ever seen. My phone vibrated, I looked at it and it was a text from AJ: I hope you enjoyed the show, my love. I can’t wait to see you. I love you, Angel! Get some sleep, beautiful. I smiled at the picture of him.

I held the phone up and blew him a kiss, snapping the picture. I sent him the picture along with I did, baby. Yal did amazing! I can’t wait to see you either! I love you baby! Goodnight my love.

“Marc, I’m fixing to go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” I said, hugging him tightly.

“Goodnight doll.” He said with bright smile. I walked upstairs to my room. I pulled the covers back and slid in the bed, plugging my phone up on the charger. I played the first Backstreet Boys album, and fell into a deep sleep.

I rolled in my bed, hiding from the bright Florida sun. I heard a small giggle to the right of me, I opened my right eye and saw Baylee standing there with his stuffed animal. I held the covers up, he slid in and wrapped his arm around me.

“What are you doing up so early, Bay?” I asked in a whisper. My eyes were closed, but I knew he was smiling.

“Couldn’t sleep, Aunt Lay. We get to go to Georgia today.” He said, kissing the corner of my lips. I nodded and smiled.

“Why don’t you go get a bath, I’ll get your clothes out for the day and I’ll get your bags re-packed. Grammy Denise is coming over with Papa Tony for lunch.” I suggested, he nodded and smiled.

“Okay. I can run my water. I’m gonna take a shower.” He said, kissing me once more before he went into my bathroom. I chuckled and sat up, seeing it was 8:34. I heard him run the shower, and the door closing. I crawled out the bed and walked to his room, getting his clothes re-packed. Once I was finished, I picked out the clothes for him to wear and a pair of underwear and socks, and took them back in my room, laying them on the dresser.

I made up my bed, then put his clothes on the bed for him along with his shoes. I heard him laughing before the shower turned off. I walked in the bathroom and handed him a towel.

“Your clothes is on the bed. I’m going down to fix you some breakfast, okay?” I asked, kissing his wet hair. He nodded and smiled. I turned and walked out the bathroom downstairs to the kitchen. Marcus was out with Minky and Monty, I heard doors slam then the doorbell rang.

I walked to the door and saw it was Tony and Denise. “Hey, what are yal doing here so early?”

“Brian called and told us what you wanted to do for Alex. So, we decided to move it forward and just have breakfast.” She said, hugging me tightly.

“Den, we could’ve had lunch still.” I said, hugging Tony in the meantime.

“I know baby, but Alex needs you. I talked to him yesterday and he didn’t sound like himself.” She said, kissing my cheek. “I’ll go make breakfast, you go pack.”

“You don’t have to—“ I started, but she cut me off.

“Go, now.” She said, with a small laugh. “I know where everything is.”

“Okay. I love you Den. I love you Tone.” I said, kissing their cheeks.

“We love you Lay.” They replied in unison. I smiled and retreated back upstairs. Everything was falling into place even more. I would get to see AJ tonight. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I walked in my room and started packing… I ended up over packing, but that’s how I am. As I finished, I walked downstairs with mine and Baylee’s bags and sat them at the door.

“You do realize you got the dates wrong?” Marcus asked behind me with a witty smirk.

“I know, I realized that when I talked to Brian yesterday. They’re in Covington tonight—that’s where we’re going.” I said, “My brain is too big, I have so many day to day memories in my head.”

“Yes Drama Queen!” He said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. We walked into the kitchen, seeing Baylee already eating his breakfast. “Morning Denise, morning Tony.”

“Hey Marc, have a seat. Eat.” She said, placing a plate on the island. He smiled and sat down before he started eating. I walked up behind Baylee and kissed his head, he turned his head and smiled at me. I sat beside him, Denise put a plate in front of me. “Show me the video you done for Alex. Brian told me the plan, I think it’s an amazing idea.”

“I hope so. Brian said he wanted me to sing the whole song, then they’re gonna back me up.” I said, looking at her. She smiled and nodded.

“Make sure you get one of the guys to record it, I want to see his face.” She said with a bright smile. I grinned and nodded.

“I’ll video it.” Marcus said, finishing his plate. I smiled and ate my breakfast, watching Baylee as he finished. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, then got off the stool and walked to Denise. He held his arms out for her to hold him. She gave in and picked him up, hugging him tightly against her.

I felt arms wrap around my neck. Tony. I laid back into his chest and sighed. He kissed my head and rocked us side to side. “Thank you.”

“For what Pops?” I asked, looking up at him. I grabbed my phone and opened the camera, holding it out for us. We smiled as I snapped the picture. He, then, stuck his tongue out, making me laugh. I stuck my tongue out and closed my right eye and looked to my right with my left eye, I snapped the picture and looked at it. Tony and I laughed, I turned around and hugged him tightly.

“Just being you.” He started, “You’re happy with Alex. Alex is over the moon happy with you. You two are the perfect balance.”

“I love him Pops. He’s my everything.” I whispered, looking up at him. He smiled and kissed my head.

“I know you do, baby.” He said, hugging me once more. I slid off the stool and started the dishes.

“Okay, it’s close to 9, you three need to get going.” Denise said, wrapping her arms around my waist. I laid my head on her shoulder, holding her against me. “I love you so much, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

“I was thinking about asking him to marry me.” I said, she gasped and pulled away as tears fell from her eyes. She smiled and leaned back against the counter. I ran in the foyer where my bags were by the door and opened the top zipper, grabbing the black box from Jared’s.

I walked back into the kitchen and showed her the custom made ring I had made for him. It was a black gold with black diamonds incrusted in the band all the way around. On the inside it was engraved; Forever yours with my mind, body and soul. –MADA

“This is absolutely beautiful, baby. He’s going to have a heart attack.” She said, looking at the ring. “How much did this cost?”

“Doesn’t matter Den. He’s worth every penny.” I said with a smile.

“Round about, how much?” She questioned with a smirk. I sighed dramatically and giggled.

“Seventy-five thousand.” I said, as if it was nothing.

“Holy shit baby!” She exclaimed, “What is it gold?”

“Yeah, black gold. It’s somewhere from Ireland, the black gold. I love it.” I said, with a smile. She looked up at me and chuckled.

“It’s beautiful and he’s going to shit.” She said, kissing my head. “You didn’t have to spend that much, but it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Thank you.” I said, hugging her once more, “I love you Den.”

“I love you, too, baby. You three better get on the road. Please be careful and text me when you get to Jacksonville, as well as Statesboro, okay?” She asked, I nodded and smiled.

“Of course, I will.” I said, as we walked to the foyer. Marcus and Baylee were there talking to Tony. “You two can stay here. Do yal mind Minky and Monty?”

“I’m staying to watch the cooking channel. Denise decided to take it off the satellite.” Tony said, hugging me. “And you know they’re no problem.”

“Well, yal both can stay for as long as yal want to. Thank you so much.” I said, hugging Denise. I looked at Baylee and Marcus and smiled, grabbing mine and Baylee’s bags. We walked outside to the Denali. I put the bags in the bag, Marcus put his in, then got in the driver’s side. I got Baylee in his car seat behind Marcus, then I got in the passengers seat.

“Be careful! We love yal!” Denise yelled as Marcus backed up into the street. I rolled the window down and smiled.

“We will! We love you!” I exclaimed before Marcus drove off. I turned to Baylee and smiled, “Alright Buttercup, what do you want to listen to?”

“You.” He said, “Do that song you always sing to me.”

“Which one?” I asked as Marcus got on 95 heading north to Jacksonville. I grabbed my phone and plugged it into the Auxiliary dock.

“The one you always sing to me.”

I groaned and chuckled, “I sing so many different songs to you, Bay.”

“Okay, I got it.” I said, putting Tony Rich Project’s Nobody Knows. “This is?” I asked, looking back at him. He grinned and nodded.

I pretend that I’m glad you went away, these four walls closing more every day, and I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me. Like a clown I put on a show, the pain is real even if nobody knows and I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me.

Why didn’t I say? The things I needed to say? How could I let my angel get away? Now my world is just a tumbling down, I can see it so clearly, but your nowhere around.

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the love that we had and I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me, yeah.

I smiled hearing both Baylee and Marcus singing with me.

I carry a smile when I’m broken into and I’m nobody without someone like you. I’m trembling inside and nobody knows it but me. Yeah, yeah, I lie awake, it’s a quarter past three. I’m screaming at night if I thought you’d hear me, yeah my heart is calling you and nobody knows it but me.

Well, well, how blue can I get? You can ask my heart, when like a jigsaw puzzle its bee torn all apart. A million words couldn’t say just how I say just how I feel, a million years from now you know, I’ll be loving you still.

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the love that we had and I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me, yeah.

Tomorrow morning, Imma hit the dusty road; I’m gonna find you wherever, ever you might go. Well, I’m I’m gonna unload my heart and hope you come back today. The nights are lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the love that we had and I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me, yeah eeee.

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the love that we had and I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me.

Nobody knows it, no, nobody but me.

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad, and I just keep thinking about the love that we had and I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me, yeah.

“That was perfect Aunt Lay!” Baylee exclaimed, making me grin. He laid his head back and turned on his portable DVD player, he put his headphones over his ears and started watching his movie.

“So, have you been to the doctor yet?” Marcus asked, eyeing me. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him.

“Why?” I asked, lighting up a cigarette and rolling down the window enough Baylee couldn’t smell it.

“Because I can guarantee you that you’re pregnant.” Marcus said, I was taken aback.

“Why do you say that?” I asked, “Have I gained weight?”

“You have that glow to you. My sister was the same way.” He said, thoughtfully.

“I’m not pregnant, Marc. I promise, I’m on the depo shot.” I said, looking over at him. I bit my lip and looked out the window.

“Do you want kids?” He asked, I nodded and took a drag of my cigarette.

“I’ve always wanted kids, Marc. I had a miscarriage a while back—it wasn’t my fault.” I said, biting the inside of my lip. “I told you about that.”

“You did, I’m sorry I brought it up.” He apologized, but I stopped him.

“It’s fine, Marc.”

“I picture you and J having four kids. Boy then girl, then a set of twins.”

“Marc! I—no! Just no!” I laughed, looking at him like he grew seven heads. “I love kids, I really do, but I don’t know about the four kids. Maybe two.”

“Nope. Four.”

“No, two.”

“Na huh, four.”

“Don’t think so! Two. End of discussion Marc!” I said, laughing loudly.

“Okay, okay. So, what kind of names do you like for a girl?”

“Marc, what’s with all this baby talk?”

“Most woman have names picked out, this is just a conversation sweets.”

I rolled my eyes, “Adalay Jane, Adler James.”

“So keeping the names going, huh?”

“You’re killin’ me Smalls!”

“I like those names. They’re different. I like the fifties names, ya know, Jane and James.”

“Oh yeah, our parents did, too. I don’t know where in the fuck they got Madalay from, but somehow it got in the mix.” I laughed loudly, taking another drag.

“I like your name! It’s fucking unique and badass, girl.”

“That’s what everyone says, but anyways since you know all about my love life. When am I going to get to meet Vanessa?” I asked, taking the last drag of my cigarette before thumping it out into the road.

“Well I was thinking at the show.” He said, not clarifying which show. “I think you’ll like her.”

“Tell me about her.” I said, looking at him.

“She’s thirty, she’s from North Georgia—I met her online actually. She goes to school in Statesboro. She’s a dancer.” He said, looking over at me. I nodded and smiled.

“Any kids?” I asked, he shook his head. “Is she in Georgia now?”

“Yeah,” He started, I grabbed his phone and found Vanessa’s number in his phone. I pressed the call button and put it to my ear.

“Hey, I was just about to call you.” Her voice filled the receiver.

“Hey Vanessa, this is Madalay, how are you?” I asked, hearing her gasp.

“I’m great, and yourself?” She wondered.

“I’m pretty great myself. So, Marcus, Bailey and I are on the way to Statesboro. He said that I’ll get to meet you at a show, but he won’t clarify which show, so, I am inviting you for a two week vacation. Can you come?”

“Oh my god! I just left his house last week before your man left. This is crazy!” She said, making me laugh. I looked at Marcus, who just seemed to be in a loving daze.

“So, you will?” I prodded, making her laugh lightly along with Marcus.

“Is it okay with him?” She wondered.

“I doesn’t matter if it isn’t or if it is. I’m his boss!” I exclaimed, making Marcus laugh loudly. “Kidding, I’m not his boss. But yes, it’s fine. I want to meet you! We’ll be in Statesboro at Ivory Towers about 4ish, if we stay on the schedule. And you can park your car there. Ross will keep an eye on it.”

“Oh my god, this is amazing! Sure I will, I have to pack, but I’ll meet yal there about 4:30?” She wondered hopeful.

“Yes, that’s fine. Can’t wait to meet you!” I exclaimed before we said our goodbyes. I hung the phone up and looked smugly at Marcus. “You’re welcome son!”

“You need to quit watching Martin.” He said, laughing. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“So tell me about her.” I said, texting Brian that we were almost in Jacksonville.

“She reminds me of you. Good head on her shoulders, loving and caring. Big heart. She’s tall though, you’re short. She’s like 5’11, and you’re like 5’2.”

“Don’t talk about my height!” I whined, drawing my legs to my chest and looking at him. He chuckled and patted my knee. “Asshole.”

“Oh come on Lay, don’t be mad at me. You are perfect the way you are.” He said with a bright smile.

“That’s right, I can hide in to small spaces that regular height people can’t. Madalay 1, Regular Height and Taller 0!” I exclaimed as we finally come into Jacksonville. We stopped at McDonalds for a bathroom break and lunch. I opened my double quarter pounder and started eating as I continued on 95, ten minutes away from the Florida Georgia line.

After the boys ate, both of them passed out on me. I sighed and smiled to myself. In less than six hours I would get to see AJ, and I couldn’t wait. It made the ride so much easier. It didn’t seem like three hours, but at 4 PM on the dot, we rolled into Statesboro, GA.

I pulled into Ivory Towers and woke Marcus up to let him know that we were at Ivory and I’d run in and sign the papers. He and Baylee stayed in the Denali as I went inside. I opened the door and saw one of my best friends at the desk.

“That’s a beautiful face I haven’t seen in a while!” Ross exclaimed, coming from behind the desk and hugged me tightly.

“How’ve you been?” I asked, kissing his cheek.

“Busy. Business is doing amazing.” HE said with a bright smile.

“Hey! Don’t hog her!” Our youngest artist, Jordy, said coming behind Ross. He grabbed me in his arms and hugged me tight. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too!” I exclaimed, “Ryan! Taylor! Get your fucking asses up here now!”

“Lay!” I heard the two yell out loud. I giggled as they raced each other to the lobby. I waved at them and opened my arms, hugging them both.

“I know you’re in a hurry, the paperwork is on the desk.” Ross said, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I nodded as we walked to the desk. The paperwork consisted of that I was a silent partner, but still sole proprietor. It was still my shop, every question of finance would come through me for the last decision. Ross would be the manager of Ivory. I reread over the papers and signed my name where need be. “Now go! You’re going to be late.”

“Love you Rossy.” I said, hugging him tightly. “There is a girl that’s going with us. She’s gonna park her vehicle on the side, can you make sure no one messes with it?”

“Love you Lay. Be careful and let me know when you get there. And yes, I will look after her car.” He said, kissing my cheek. I said my goodbyes to Jordy, Ryan and Taylor before I turned to leave. Ross stopped me once more and handed me an envelope before I walked out. With one last wave, I walked out the shop. I pressed the key pad and unlocked the Denali before I got in.

“Marc you need to text Vanessa and ask her how far out is she.” I said, nudging him in his arm. “I don’t know what she drives or what she looks like.”

He jolted up as a car pulled around the side. “That’s her.” I nodded and put the Denali in reverse, then drive going over to her car. She was fucking tall and gorgeous. Marcus and I got out, I smiled as they hugged and kissed.

“Vanessa this is Madalay, Lay this is Vanesssa.” Marcus introduced us. She squealed and smiled widely.

“I’m a fan of yours actually, it’s so nice to meet you! You’re the reason of why I became a dancer.” She said, as I hugged her.

“Thank you so much, that means a lot to me.” I said with a smile, “Let’s get your bags in the Denali and we’ll throw Marcus in the back with Baylee, they can sleep and we can talk.”

“He can sit in the front.” She protested, but Marcus stopped her.

“You can, me and the B-Man is in the back.”

I grabbed her bags and walked to the back of the Denali. Once it opened, I put them in there and closed it. They had already gotten in their seats, I climbed in the driver’s seat. We pulled out of Ivory Towers and headed back towards 301, at the red light we turned left to get on 80. Three red lights later, we were turning left onto Hwy 25 headed towards Millen, Waynesboro, and finally to Augusta.

“Can I just say that I am totally having a fangirl moment?” She said, making me laugh.

“It’s okay. I appreciate it a lot.”

“The book you wrote about your past, it spoke to me. My dad walked out on me when I was a 11; my mom and my step-dad were always there for me. I ended up going to rehab for drugs as well.” She said, “It really helped me a lot. It helped me find myself.”

“I am at a loss for words, Van.” I started, “Not too many people will tell their pasts, they think others will be quick to judge, and yes in some cases there are people like that, but with that being said hearing war stories are amazing, especially ones that you have in common with someone. It warms my heart.”

“It helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. How you described rehab, how you described the detox—it was scary. It was different for me, I was given the option and I took the road less traveled.”

“I understand completely. I did drugs on my own and like I said in my book, I had someone make do them as well. It changed my whole outlook on life, and now, I feel like I’m on top of the world because Al is back. We’ve been through the same thing: alcohol, drugs, depression, anxiety; that’s what brings us back to each other. We can overlook our pasts because that’s what it is, it’s the past. It has absolutely nothing to do with now and our future.”

“I hope that I can become someone like you. I feel like I’m becoming that person you described in the book after rehab.” She said, as I lit a cigarette. We came into the Millen city limits, and with a blink of an eye, we were out of Millen and headed next for Waynesboro.

“You seem like an amazing woman. I like helping people. I think that if there were more people in this world that like to help others then it would be a better place.” I said, laughing softly hearing Baylee snore.

“I agree a hundred percent.”

“If you and Marcus work out in the long run and you move to Florida, I have a studio where you can teach at if you want.” I said, looking over at her. Her eyes widened and she gaped. “I mean yal have been together for what, a year?”

“Yeah, it’s been a year. A great year. He’s such a good guy.” She said almost in a trance.

“Yeah, he is. He’s helped me a lot. He knows Al just as much as the guys and I do.”

“We met online and had our first date in Savannah. We walked on River Street, the night was amazing. Best first date I’ve ever had. Enough about me, tell me about you and AJ.” She said, looking at me as we come into Waynesboro.

“When we were younger, we were best friend, attached to the hip. My mom died when I was young, my dad walked out on me one night and never came back. Denise, AJ’s mama, took me in. I stayed with her as AJ and the guys started on the road. When she was gone, I stayed with her mama and daddy, which is our Grams and Gramps.” I said, taking a drag of my cigarette, “AJ and I ended up getting in a pretty bad place. He and I quit talking for the longest time, I tried to ignore him—he said some hurtful things when we were younger. I worked with Brian on his solo album, Lauren, my cousin is dating Nick. So, I was out in California on business and he showed up at Lauren and Nick’s. I slapped him, we had words, and now…” I smiled, “Things couldn’t be better between us.”

“Young love never dies.” She said with a dreamy smile.

“You sound just like Marcus.”

“I do not!”

“You do, too! He’s said the same thing.” I retorted, looking in the rearview mirror, seeing them both still asleep. I smiled and felt my phone vibrate, it was Brian. I pressed send and held the phone to my ear.

“Hey Bri,” I said with a big smile.

“Hey Lay, where are yal at?”

“We’re about twenty minutes away from Augusta Regional Airport. Where yal at?” I asked, coming up on a roadblock. “Hold on for a minute, road block and Georgia Boys everywhere.”

“Okay.” He said as I slowed down and put the phone on the console. I smiled, rolling the window down.

“Evening ma’am, we’re just doing a license check.” The State Patrol said, I nodded and grabbed my billfold and took my license out for him. He looked over it and smiled, then handing it back to me, “Have a great evening, beautiful.”

“Thank you sir, you do as well.” I said, as he stepped back and I pulled away. I grabbed my phone and put it back to my ear. “Okay Bri, I’m back.”

“Have a great evening, beautiful,” He mocked with a high pitched voice. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “So, I talked to the band and they said that they’ll have it worked out to where on the video you get up and walk out, they’ll give you a four count and you start.”

“Okay, great. How’s he today? I haven’t talked to him.”

“He’s alright, He finally ate something, he’s been talking to Nick about something—they’ve been really secretive actually.”

“I bought Al a ring. I’m gonna ask him to marry me.”

“Oh my god Lay! That’s amazing. I want to see it!” He exclaimed, making me laugh.

“I’ll send you a picture when we get to the airport. I’ll send you the flight information as well.”

“Okay, call him and just talk to him. I can’t wait to see the ring, I love you, be careful. How’s Baylee?”

“I will, and I love you, too. And he’s asleep right now.” I said, hearing him laugh.

“He loves sleep, just like his Aunt Lay.”

“You exactly right. We love our sleep. But tell Leigh and everyone I said hey and I love them. I’ll see you soon!”

“Alright, be careful. Love yal, bye.”

“Bye Bri.” I said, hanging up the phone. I clicked AJ’s name and called him.

“Hey baby.” He said with a smile.

“Hey love, what are you doing?”

“Missing you, you know that. Just sitting on the bus with Nick.”

“Well, I’ll let yal get back to the Al and Nick love saga.” I said, laughing.

“No! I want to talk to you. How’s your day been? What are you up to?”

“It’s been long! Marc, Baylee and I are going to Marathon.” I said, “Baylee wanted to ride the bridge.”

“You sure he aint your kid? You love doing that, too.” He said laughing loudly.

“I’m sure. My good tithings has rubbed off on him. I’m a proud Aunt.”

“I know you are, I couldn’t be any prouder of him and you.”

“You okay baby?” I asked, hearing a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Yeah, I am. Just can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see you either love. Three days!”

“Three days that can’t get here quick enough.” He frowned.

“I know, but just think three days then you have me forever.”

“That’s the best part. We’re fixing to go to rehearsals then sound check. I’ll call you about 7ish, okay?”
“Okay baby. I love you. Have a good sound check and rehearsal okay?”

“Alright, I love you Mada. I’ll talk to you soon, Angel. Bye.”

“Bye babe.” I said before I hung up the phone. I looked back at Baylee and Marcus; Baylee started stirring in his sleep. “Hey my Bay.”

“Auntie Lay, where are we?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

“We are almost in Augusta, baby. Did you sleep good?”

“Yes mam, I love you Lay.”

“I love you Bay, are you hungry? There’s a Burger King up here.” I said, looking at him in the rearview. He nodded.

“Can I have the chicken lightenin’s?” He asked, I smiled and nodded, getting in the hammer lane.

“Yeah baby, you want sweet tea to drink and fries?”

“Yes mam.” He said as we pulled into Burger King. Vanessa woke Marcus up; the four of us walked in Burger King. I took Baylee to the bathroom, after he was done I picked him up and carried him back into the lobby.

“Oh my god! You’re Madalay Ramirez!” The woman behind the counter said, pointing at me. I smiled and nodded. “I am a huge fan of yours! The song you done with Boyz II Men was amazing!”

“Thank you, that is so sweet.” I said, before I kissed Baylee’s head.

“If it’s not too much trouble, can I have your autograph and a picture?” She asked, I looked at Marcus and handed him Baylee. I walked to her and stood beside her, she held her phone out and snapped a few pictures. I grabbed the pen and signed her paper she had for me. I hugged her and smiled. “Thank you so much for this.”

“It’s not a problem.” I said, kissing her cheek.

“My day has been made!” She exclaimed, “What can I get yal?”

“I need the six piece chicken nugget kids meal with sweet tea and fries. I want a six piece chicken nugget meal as well with a medium sweet tea.” I said, looking back at Marcus and Vanessa, “What do yal want?”

“Two Whoppers.”

“Two Whopper meals with fries and coke.” I finished the order and grabbed Baylee.

“That will be $15.34.” She said, I smiled and grabbed my credit card, swiping it in the machine. She printed my receipt and handed me a pen so I could sign. After singing, she handed me our cups. I handed Marcus and Vanessa’s cups to them and walked to the drink station. I put ice in mine and Baylee’s cups then filled them with sweet tea.

I moved out of Marcus and Vanessa’s way and found a booth to sit in. I put Baylee down beside me as Marcus and Vanessa made their way to us. They sat down, Baylee leaned his head on my arm. I looked down and wrapped my arm around him, bringing him closer to me.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was your baby.” Vanessa said, I smiled and kissed Baylee’s head.

“I love this little boy more than anything in this world.” I said, looking at her. She smiled and nodded.

“I can tell.” She started, “It’s amazing though. I bet you’ll be an amazing mommy.”

“Well when that day comes, I hope so. This little boy has my heart.”

“Aunt Lay when are you and Uncle J gonna get married like mommy and daddy?” Baylee asked, I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at Marcus, who just gave me a nod.

“Is that what you want?” I asked, he nodded against my arm.

“Yes mam. That way I can come stay with yal when you have a baby.”

“Well maybe one day we will, okay? You know you can come stay with us any time you want to.”

“I know. I miss you when I’m home.” He said, as the woman called our number for our food.

“I miss you, too, baby.” I said, making him smile. I excused myself and got up to get our food. Once I got it and returned to our table, I started fixing Baylee’s food for him. As he started eating, I began eating my meal. Marcus and Vanessa were acting like the perfect couple, talking back and forth. I couldn’t help but smile as she blushed.

Soon enough, we were on our way to Augusta Regional. We got there, Marcus grabbed our bags, and I held Baylee in my arms as we walked into the building. I gave the secretary my information and she gave me four tickets. After paying for them, I sent a quick text to Brian to tell him our plane will be leaving in fifteen minutes. He demanded the picture of the ring. I chuckled and quickly sent him the picture.



My phone vibrated, it was a text from Brian: Holy shit! That is so beautiful and so AJ! He's going to love it. Love you!



I smiled and replied: That's the point Bri. I hope he does, at least. Love you.



“Augusta, GA to Covington, KT now boarding at Gate 4 Delta Airlines.” The man on the PA said. The four of us made our way down the terminal to Gate 4. I handed mine and Baylee’s ticket to her, followed by Marcus and Vanessa. She told us to have a great flight, we thanked her and made our way down the hall to the plane. Baylee sat beside me, holding my hand tightly. We put our seatbelts on and waited for the plane to take off.



It wasn't but fifteen minutes later, we were ascending in the air to our destination.

Two hours in the air, I was sick of it. I was too happy to be on the ground. Marcus called Brian letting him know that we were in Covington. He told us to go to the Embassy Suites, where he had us a hotel room for the night. He and the guys were running the rehearsal and sound check one more time.

We had the driver, Martin, to drive us to the hotel. We got out and walked in, checking in under Rok Ramirez—Brian’s got problems. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the name. We got our room, tonight I would stay with AJ and Baylee was going to be with Brian and Leighanne, so the suite itself was actually Marcus and Vanessa’s.

“Okay, the guys are going to stay there until the show. They’re going to eat there, they’re being catered, so we have an hour before we have to get there.” Marcus said, as we walked into the suite. I laid mine and Baylee’s bags on the king size bed.

There was a knock on the door, I walked to it and looked in the peephole and saw four familiar and beautiful faces. I opened the door quickly and squealed, hugging the four women tightly.

“Come in!” I exclaimed, pulling them in. Leighanne held me tightly, “I have to show yal something.”

“Hey ladies.” Marcus said, as Baylee sat on the couch and watched TV, not even noticing his mama there. “Bay you gonna say hey to the ladies?”

Baylee looked over his shoulder and smiled. He got up and ran to Leighanne, hugging her. “Hey mama, I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too, buddy. Go watch TV while Aunt Lay and us talk, okay?” She asked, hugging him tightly. He nodded and stalked back to the couch with Marcus.

“Ladies, this is Vanessa. She is Marcus’s girlfriend. Vanessa this is Leighanne, Leigh, Lauren and Kristin.” I said, introducing them.

“It’s nice meeting you ladies.” Vanessa said with a bright smile.

“It’s nice meeting you.” The girls said in unison.

“Okay, bathroom please.” I said, before I started walking to the bathroom. I grabbed the black box and turned to them. “I’m going to propose to AJ tonight after I surprise him.”

They gasped, looking at the ring, “This is beautiful.” Leighanne said with a teary smile.

“He’s going to die.” Lauren said, mesmerized.

“Where did you get it from?” Kris said, still in shock.

“I had it custom made through Jared. It’s black gold with the 10 carat black diamonds.” I said, looking at the ring.

“How much was this?” Leigh asked, looking at me.

“Seventy-five thousand.” I said as if it was nothing.

“Holy shit!” Vanessa exclaimed. I sighed happily and told them I had to get ready. Instead of them leaving, they stayed as I took a shower. They talked to Vanessa, getting to know her.

I started singing If You Want It To Be Good Girl to myself, then belted out loudly.

If you yes! And if you want to get it done, babe you gotta get the one; the one who’s got it going on. Oh, if you wanna make it last, gotta know just who to ask. Babe he’s gotta be that, that’s me my lady. If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a ba-a-a-d boy, that’s right. If you really want it good girl, gotta get yourself a bad boy; if you really want it, if you really want it, get it like it could be, would be, yeah like it should be if you want it to be good, gotta be like it should, if you really want it good.

I heard the girls laugh, I finished up in the shower and turned it off. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. I grabbed an extra towel and started to dry off, then towel dried my hair.

As I finished, Leighanne went into the room and grabbed my bag. I grabbed the clothes I was going to wear and hung them against the door. “AJ is going to die, Lay.” Lauren said, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m so proud of you.” She whispered.

“Thank you Law. I hope he doesn’t die!” I exclaimed, making her laugh. I kissed her cheek, she sat on the counter beside me. I started on my makeup. Marcus told us we had thirty minutes until we left. I started my hair fixing to how I looked in the video.

After I finished my hair and makeup, I got dressed. I turned to the girls, “How do I look?” I didn’t get anything but gasps and silence. I bit my lip and looked over my appearance, I thought I looked okay. I sighed, “Is it that bad?”

“What? No! You are absolutely gorgeous, Lay!” Kris exclaimed, hugging me tightly. Marcus knocked on the door.

“Time to go.” He said, I breathed heavily and walked out of the bathroom; Marcus wrapped his arms around me. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you Marc.” I said, hugging him tightly. I pulled away and held onto my jacket. The seven of us walked out of the hotel room and down to the elevator. We got in, pressed the L button for the lobby. Seconds later, Martin was in front of the hotel to get us. The girls, Marcus, Baylee and I got on the car. Martin pulled off for the Madison Theater. Fifteen minutes we arrived, pulling around the back with the buses.

Brian texted Leighanne and said we were in the clear and for us to go backstage. They were almost halfway through the first part of the show, and they had just changed for the second part. Brian’ phone started ringing. I smiled and walked behind the screen that the video was fixing to be played on. Q hugged me and handed me a mic.

“Oh, sorry about this. Seems like we are having technical difficulties. Looky here, seems like our Techy bugged my phone.” Brian started, Nick walked to him and looked.

“It’s Lay! Put her on the screen so everyone can see!” Nick exclaimed, as the video turned to the screen. I breathed lightly and smiled as the video played back.

"Hey Guys, yal are looking amazing! Can you hear me? " I paused for six seconds.

“Yeah, we can hear you!” The guys exclaimed, jumping around.

"Okay good. Hey everyone at the show, I know you're enjoying it! I won't take up much of your time, but I want to talk to AJ, so step up front and center, my love." I counted to ten.

AJ walked to the center of the stage, and looked up at the screen. I smiled and sighed happily.

“Hey Al,” I started, before singing, “I just want you to know!” I laughed lightly, “That I love you with all my heart. I hope you’re watching this. Ever since you came back into my life, I’ve been happier than I ever been. Ma and I were talking the other day, and she brought up our marriage when we were kids. I remember you being hell bound and determined about that.” I laughed, “We had your mama officiating it and everything. She drew up papers for us to sign; she still has those. She even gave me a copy of both for me to keep.” I grabbed the picture of him and I after we were ‘married’ and held it up, smiling widely.

I grabbed the paper we both signed and held it up—I started tearing up; “You are not only my boyfriend, you are my heart and my best friend… Don’t tell Brian. I love you Brian, Nicky, Kev, and Latin Lover as well, think no different, yal are my mens! Al, no matter what, no matter what our pasts were like, we were still connected in a weird way. We both went through the same things, but it takes us to come out on top. We can’t live in the past, we can only live in the present and make sure our future is us against the world. You’re my addiction, you’re what I yearn for day and night, even when you’re right beside me. I love you with all my heart, I hope you enjoy this. I found one thing for sure; you’re my safest place to hide.”
I wiped my fallen tears and took a deep breath. I grabbed my guitar and started playing the chords to Safest Place to Hide. I closed my eyes swaying to the chords,

I watched as AJ’s lip started quivering and tears falling from his eyes. The guys were tearing up as well.

Yeah, yeah; It seems like yesterday when I said "I do". And after all this time my heart still burns for you. If you don't know by now that you're my only one. Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone.

I know I promised you forever. Is there no stronger word I can use, to reassure you when the storm is raging outside; You're my safest place to hide

I blew him a kiss and stood up, walking away behind my phone and cut it off.

As the video went off, I counted to four and heard the band start up. The crowd roared as I walked out of the screen and started the chorus to Safest Place To Hide.

Can you see me, here I am. I need you like I needed you then. When I feel like giving up. I climb inside your heart I still find. You're my safest place to hide.

I sang walking down the center stairs to the stage. The guys were in tears and cheering. AJ stood there in pure shock as the tears fell from his eyes. The girls, Marcus and Baylee walked on the stage. I hugged AJ tightly against me, he cried in my shoulder. I pulled away and kissed him lovingly, then brought the mic to my lips. I grabbed his hand and walked down the small catwalk, the guys, girls and Baylee behind us.

You see colors no one else can see. In every breath you hear a symphony. You understand me like nobody can, I feel like my soul unfolding like a flower blooming.

When this whole world gets too crazy, yeah, and there's nowhere left to go. I know you give me sanctuary. You're the only truth I know. You're the road back home.

Can you see me, here I am. Standing here where I've always been. And when words are not enough. I climb inside your heart I'd still find. You're my safest place to hide
My safest place to hide, my safest place to hide.

I smiled as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. The music played lowly, allowing me to speak what I want to say.

“Are you surprised my love?” I asked, AJ nodded and smiled through his tears. I grinned and took my jacket off and handed it to Brian after I grabbed the ring out.

“I am, this is so amazing. I have so much I want to say.” He said, in his mic. I smiled and grabbed his hand.

“You know I love you with all my heart, Al. You make everything better in my life. I know that no matter what I can come to you. I know that you are my safest place to hide. We’ve been through so much over the years. Everything on that video I said, it was true. You are my whole wide world, and I thank God every day and night for you.” I said, leaning up and kissing him.

“I have a question for you.” I said, “I promise to be the best woman I can be for you. I promise you forever, I even done that when we were kids, and look where we are. I can’t promise you anything but forever, because I will spend forever loving you the way you deserve. Will you make me the happiest woman in the world, give me the chance to show you forever, and marry me?” I dropped on one knee and held the ring up to him. Tears fell out of both of our eyes, as well as the guys and girls.

He kneeled down and took the mic to his lips, and opened his hand, “Only if you marry me and allow me to show you forever.”

My eyes widened, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. I nodded repeatedly, and smiled through the tears. He grabbed my left hand and slid a beautiful ring. I took his left hand in mine and slid his on him.

We stood up, he pulled me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. The crowd, guys, girls and Baylee cheered loudly for us. I pulled away, pressing my forehead against his. I put the mic to my lips, signaling the band to get ready. We swayed side to side with the beat.

I know I promised you forever. There's no stronger word I can use. To reassure when the storm is raging outside. You're my safest place to hide.

I kissed him once more, and grabbed his hand, and began to walk to the stage.

Oh! Can you see me, here I am. Standing here where I've always been. When I feel like giving up. I climb inside your heart I'd still find. Yeah, yeah; You're my safest place to hide, oh yeah. You're my safest place to hide.

As the song ended, he picked me up and spun us around. “This is the happiest day of my life.” He said in his mic. “This beautiful woman right here, Covington, is my one and only. She is my heart and soul and I love her more and more with each passing day. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I wouldn’t do for her. She came back into my life and showed me how love was supposed to be.”

“I love you so much Al.” I said, pressing my lips to his.

“Everyone give it up for Lay and AJ!” Brian said in his mic. The crowd roared loudly. I picked Baylee up and kissed his cheek. He wiped my tears away and kissed my lips.

“My Auntie Lay and Uncle J are getting married!” He exclaimed, his voice filling the arena. I giggled and watched him wrap an arm around AJ’s neck, bringing him in to us. Everyone ‘awed’ making us laugh.

“While everyone is out here. I want to introduce the backbones of us guys.” Brian said, “This is my beautiful wife Leighanne and our beautiful son, Baylee.” He took Baylee from AJ and I.

“This is my beautiful wife Leigh,’ Howie said, hugging her.

“This is my beautiful fiancé Lauren.” Nick said, kissing her head.

“This is my beautiful girlfriend, Vanessa.” Marcus said with a smile as he hugged her.

“This is my beautiful wife Kristin.” Kevin said, hugging her.

“And this is my beautiful fiancé Madalay Jane Ramirez!” AJ announced in his mic. I smiled and pressed my lips to his. “Our ladies and Baylee, along with Marcus and his lady are going to sit on the center stairs for the rest of the show. Madalay will get up and dance as well.”

“No.” I said, but the guys and girls pushed the issue. I sighed and gave in. “Fine, old dance moves not the new ones.”

“Okay then. The old ones.” He said, looking down at me with a smile.

“I’m talking about this.” I said, looking at Terry on the drums. “Give me We’ve Got it Going On.”

He grinned and nodded, starting the beat. I brought the mic up to my lips, “Everybody groove to the music, everybody jam… Ahhh!” I sang, spreading out and doing the running man, like they did back years ago. “We’ve been waiting so long, just can’t hold it back no more.”

The crowd roared, as the guys whistled, “I think we can do that. What you guys think?” Brian asked, looking at the guys.

“Old bones.” I said, looking at them. They shook their heads and laughed.

“Okay, let’s do this! Lay you’re in front.” Kevin said, standing in the original formation, facing the band. As the band started back up. Howie turned, then Nick, then Brian, AJ and finally Kevin. We ran through the whole song doing the original routine.

As we finished, I bowed and hugged the guys before I made my way back to the stairs. They finished playing their set, leaving Everybody last. AJ looked at me, and called me with his index finger. Lauren, Vanessa and Leighanne pushed me onto the stage, I chuckled and walked between Brian and AJ.

The music started, I got lost in the dancing. I was having a blast. As the song finished, the guys and I bowed. The guys, girls, Baylee and I walked off of stage; AJ pulled me in his dressing room and pressed his lips to mine. I moaned into the bruising kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands cuffed my thighs and pulled me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He walked us over to the black leather couch, and laid me on it, running his hands up my sides. I smiled against his lips and unbuttoned his shirt—I didn’t want to wait any longer. I ran my hands up his abdomen, to his chest and raked my fingernails over his pecks. He groaned, slipping my shirt over my head, and putting it on the coffee table.

I undid his belt, then his jeans. He reciprocated my actions and did mine as well, taking my shoes with them. He turned and sat on the couch, I crawled to him, straddling his waist, taking him fully in. I moaned loud, laying my forehead to his. I moved up and down against him, causing a loud groan from him.

He dug his nails into my hips, helping me as I grinded against him. I pressed my lips to his, taking his tongue in my mouth. He held me close to him, causing friction between us. “Oh god.” I moaned, throwing my head back, his lips attached to my neck, biting down hard. “Fuck baby!”

“God damn Angel.” He groaned out, thrusting his hips to meet mine. I breathed heavily, wrapping my arms around his neck and laying my forehead on his sweaty hair. I felt the ball of fire burn in my abdomen.

“I’m so close.” I whispered, kissing his head. He nodded, biting the skin that covered my collarbone. With four more thrusts, he sent me over the edge. I called out his named as he filled me with his seed. I laid my head on his shoulder, trying to catch my breath.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered, kissing my shoulder.

“I’ve missed you, too.” I replied, turning my head and kissing his jaw. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed happily. “Did I surprise you?”

“I did, I do want to see what you wanted to show me, though.” He said with a small chuckle, I sat up and giggled.

“You were worried about putting the ring on my finger to even notice my newest tattoo.” I said, holding my left hand out in front of me. He cupped my fingers with his and smiled, running his thumb over the King crown with AL under them, in the traditional tattoo lettering.

“I love it.” He said, “I want one.”

“Okay.” I said with a smile. He pulled me to him once more and hugged me tightly. For five we minutes sat there in each other’s embrace. I kissed his neck once more before I slid off his lap, and handed him his shirt. I put my clothes and stood up, then pulled him up.

“You’re here for good right?” He asked, I smiled and nodded.

“You got me until the end of time.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiled, circling my waist his arms.

He pressed his forehead to mine, “That’s all I want. Forever and a day, with you.”

“That’s what you’ll get.” I said, pressing my lips to his with a loving and needy kiss. He and I walked out the dressing room, meeting everyone in the hall. He and I walked hand in hand down the hall and out the back of the theater.

“I love you Mada.” AJ whispered as we got in the limo to go back to the hotel.

“I love you, Al.” I whispered in reply, kissing his hand. I smiled to myself knowing that everything was going to be fine; I had my family along with my best friends and fiancé by my side.

Finishing up the southern leg of the tour, Marcus and Vanessa decided they would drive my Denali back, they wanted to spend a little more time together before she had to go back to school. As we touched in West Palm for the last show, AJ was prompt about getting a matching tattoo of mine; same script, same place, with a Queen Crown and MADA with purple shading.

As soon as he got to rehearsal and sound check, he paraded around the arena showing it off to everyone he could every five minutes. I couldn’t help but to laugh. The last show was amazing as always; the only sad part was they announced that Kevin was leaving Backstreet Boys to venture in different prospects. I cried, as well as the guys. They called me up to dance the original dances to We’ve Got It Goin’ On, Larger Than Life, and Backstreets Back.

As much as I loved being on the road with my family, I missed my home. It seemed like that was my life—always going. For once, I wanted to settle down on my couch and watch a sappy love movie on Lifetime, but I knew that my wants would come to an end at some point,

I sighed, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I stood there in a pair of black lacey boy shorts and a black lace bra. I was gaining weight, and not just in my stomach, but my thighs, breasts, ass—I could hardly fit into anything I had.

“Hey baby—Oh hello beautiful.” AJ said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach.

“I don’t feel beautiful.” I said, looking at him through the mirror. I bit my lip, “There isn’t anything I own that really fits me anymore. Everything is tight.”

“Baby, you are beautiful. Even if you think you’re gaining weight. I don’t see it.” He said, kissing my shoulder. I sighed and tilted my head to the side, looking once more before I pulled out of AJ’s arms and walked into the closet.

“What did you need before I side tracked you?” I asked, grabbing a lose t-shirt dress and walking back into our bedroom. He was sitting on the bed and looked up at me as I slid the dress over my head.

“Do you mind if Ma and Tony come over for supper?” He asked, I furrowed my eyebrows and walked to him, standing between his legs.

“You know you don’t have to ask. They’re always welcomed here.” I said, running my fingers through his hair. He nodded and rested his hands on my hips, feeling the fullness of them.

“Okay, she wanted to come eat with the new engaged couple.” He said, looking up at me with a bright smile. I grinned and leaned down, pressing my lips to his forehead, then his nose, and finally his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I said with a smile, “Plus I owe them dinner anyways. My surprise kind of pushed it to breakfast that morning.”

“Okay, I’ll text her and tell her 8?” He suggested, I nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, that’s good. It’s three now, I want to watch that movie on Lifetime in a few minutes.” I said, pulling him up, “You gonna watch it with me?”

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, mine around his waist. “What movie?”

“I think The Break Up is on next.” I said, laying my head on his chest.

“Uh, yeah. I get to snuggle you?” He asked, making me laugh. I pushed from his chest and walked out the bedroom and down the stairs. I walked into the living room and turned on the TV. Fried Green Tomatoes was ending, I pulled the pillows off the sectional, and heard AJ come down stairs.

He walked in the kitchen and got us two Cokes, along with extra buttered popcorn. Walking back in, I sat on the couch, drawing my legs under me. He sat beside me, against the arm of the couch and pulled me between his legs.

He opened our Cokes and the hot bag of popcorn, as the movie started. I snuggled in his chest, feeling my stomach become queasy. Pain erupted in my abdomen, I jolted up and cradled my stomach.

“Baby what’s wrong? Talk to me.” AJ said in a worried tone.

“My stomach hurts really, really bad.” I said, standing up he gasped. “What?”

“Baby you’re bleeding.” He said, making me turn around. There was blood on the couch; I felt another spring of pain shoot through my body. I doubled over, as tears fell from my eyes. “We got to get you to the hospital now.”

“Al don’t leave me.” I said, burying my face in his chest. He hugged me tight and kissed my head.

“I won’t ever leave you.” He whispered, picking me up bridal style and running out the house. Without thinking he put me in the Denali, and ran to the driver’s side getting in quickly. He crunk up and peeled out the driveway, he shakily grabbed his phone and called Denise to tell her we were going to the hospital. It wasn’t but five minutes later, we were there. He took me in his arms as he did earlier and ran us in the hospital.

“My wife needs help!” He exclaimed in the lobby of the hospital.

“Sir, what can I help you with?” An elder woman asked.

“She…she... she’s in pain her stomach and she’s bleeding heavily down there.” He said, trying to be as polite as he could.

“We need a doctor now! Sir, can you bring her in to this room for me?” She asked, pointing to the room. He nodded and swiftly walked into the room, he laid me on the bed and wiped my tears away. The woman walked in and handed AJ a paper, “Can you feel this out for me, sir? You don’t have to finish it right now, but before you two leave.”

“Yes mam.” He said, looking back at me, seeing my face show pain.

“Also, I need you to help me get her shirt off and into a gown. I don’t want to hurt her any more than she’s hurting.” She spoke to AJ. He nodded and hooked his arms under my arms and lifted me as she pulled the dress up. “Sweetheart on a scale of one to ten what’s your pain?”

“Ten being bad?” I asked, she nodded. “An eight.”

“Okay sweetheart, I’ll get the doctor in here as soon as I can.” She said, helping me put on the gown. AJ sent out a text to the guys telling them what happened and that I was in the hospital. She excused herself and walked out, leaving AJ and I. The pain was more than I could bare. I closed my eyes and clutched my stomach; I felt a weight on the bed and arms around me. I hid my face in his neck, holding onto him tightly.

“Baby, breathe. Just breathe.” He said, rocking us side to side.

“Mrs. McLean, I’m Doctor Reiner; Constance told me that you were having severe abdominal pain and bleeding from below.” She said looking up from her chart. I pulled from AJ and wiped my face, nodding. “When was your last period, Mrs. McLean?”

“I’m on the depo shot, Dr. Reiner. I’ve been on the shot for several years. But every month I have the symptoms of my cycle.” I explained, she wrote the statement down.

“Have you experienced any weight gaining? Any nausea?”

“Weight gain, yes. Nausea, no.” I replied, she nodded.

“What type of career do you have?”

“I own a dance studio, I’m there three days of the week. Among other things.”

“Okay, I want to order an ultrasound to see if you have torn anything. Being a dancer is a lot on the body, a lot of internal damage that you never know about.” She explained, I nodded wincing at the pain that erupted in my abdomen. She took notice and stood up quickly, “Can you lay back, and let me check your stomach?”

I nodded and grabbed AJ’s hand as I laid back. Dr. Reiner slipped her hand under the gown and over my stomach, pressing lightly. “Does that hurt anywhere?” I shook my head, until she got a little farther down; a surging pain ran through my stomach. My face contorted, I gripped AJ’s hand tighter.

“That hurts.” I said, as she nodded and stood up. She excused herself and walked out, leaving AJ and I together. “I’m sorry Al.”

“Baby for what? You have nothing to be sorry for, love.” He said, running his fingers through my hair. He leaned down and kissed my head as Dr. Reiner came in with the ultrasound machine. She grabbed the jelly and looked at me.

“This is going to be cold, okay?” She said as covered my legs with the white sheet and lifted the gown to right under my ribcage. She squirted the jelly on my lower abdomen and put the ultrasound wand on my stomach, smearing the jelly. I heard three heartbeats; which one was mine. “Mrs. McLean, congratulations and condolences are in order. I’ll start with the congratulation first, you are pregnant with twins.”

I looked up at AJ, eyes widened. AJ couldn’t keep his eyes off the screen. “And the condolences?”

“Mrs. McLean, it seems to be that you and your husband were expecting triplets; however, the other baby was separated in a different sack as to where the twins are sharing a sack. The other baby didn’t make it. I’m very sorry about the loss of that baby, but nonetheless congratulations on the twins. I’ll give you two a minute.” She said, then got up and walked out the room.

“Al,” I said hysterically as the tears well down my face. He wrapped his arms protectively around me, and pulled me to him. He hid his face in my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Al.”

“You didn’t do this, baby. It’s going to be okay, we’re having twins. We’re going to be parents.” He whispered, pulling away and laying his forehead on mine. I smiled through my tears.

“We’re going to be parents, Al.” I whispered, as he smiled through his tears. There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” I gasped seeing Denise, Howie, Brian and Nick.

“What in the world happened, sweetheart?” She asked, rushing to my side. I looked at AJ, he kissed me quickly before he got up and asked the guys to step out with him. Tears welled in my eyes once more.

“Al and I were pregnant with triplets, but somehow one of the babies detached itself from the sac and died. We are having twins though.” I said, as she grabbed me in her arms, hugging me tightly. Her body shook against mine.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, kissing my head. I nodded and pulled away, sighing heavily.

“I need a D&C to get the dead baby out.” I said, grabbing her hand. “I want to be sad but I want to be happy. I am sad, but I am happy as well. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I understand baby. I told you that I was pregnant with twins at one time, but I lost them. Just remember it doesn’t stop here, this is the beginning of a wonderful journey. Yes, you lost one, but that wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.”

I nodded, speechless. The door opened, the guys came back in. Brian rushed to me, wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly against him. His body shook against mine. “I’m so sorry. Congratulations on the twins though beautiful.”

“Thank you Bri. That means a lot.” I whispered, kissing his cheek, “What are you doing here anyways?”

“I was in Palm Beach at my cousin’s bachelor party last night and decided to stay for the day.” He explained I nodded and smiled.

“Well, I thank you for coming.” I said, hugging him once more. I looked at Howie and held my hand out for him. He smiled sadly through his tears but put his hand in mine. He walked to my side and bent down placing a kiss on my head.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He started, and hugged me, “Congratulations on the twins though.”

“Thank you D. Thank you for coming, you didn’t have to.” I said, looking up at him.

“Nonsense you’re my sister, J’s my brother—it was only natural for me to come.” He said softly. I smiled, and wiped the tears that fell from my eyes.

“Nicky you want to come over here?” I asked, looking up at him. He shook his head, letting out a sob then ran out the room. I looked between AJ, Howie and Brian for answers.

“I’ll go look for him.” Howie said, kissing my head. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Thank you.” I said before he walked away. As he walked out, the Doctor walked in.

“Mrs. McLean, I’m fixing to get Constance in here, she will hang you an IV and run it in you. We have the room prepped for your D&C. It’s a simple procedure.” She started, I nodded. I knew what a D&C was—I’ve had one before.

Constance came in and ran my IV. She gave me Tremadol for pain, and a hypo solution. I looked up at the doctor, “Can Alex come with me?”

“If you want him too, then yes.” Dr. Reiner replied. I nodded and looked at him, pleading in silence. He grabbed my hand and kissed my forehead.

“What about the twins? Will the D&C affect the twins?” Denise asked, looking at Dr. Reiner.

“No ma’am, since the baby that passed detached itself.” Dr. Reiner stated, “I’ve done this same exact procedure several times. She’s about a month long, she’s healthy and I believe with everything in me that she will have a healthy pregnancy.”

“Okay, thank you so much Dr. Reiner.” Denise said, hugging him quickly. “I’ll be in the waiting room. I love you two.”

“We love you Ma.” AJ replied, as I nodded. Constance and Dr. Reiner, wheeled me out the room and down the hall to the OR. AJ being the perfect gentleman he was, helped me onto the table. Heather, aka Dr. Reiner, told me to put my feet on the stirups. I did as I was told and scooted towards her. I looked at AJ and bit my lip, he leaned over and kissed me sweetly.

“Alright, Mrs. McLean, Constance is going to hold the UV over your stomach so we can find the fetus. I’m going to open you up, I want you to push and hold it, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” I replied, as Constance found the dead fetus. I pushed and looked at AJ, he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead.

“Just look at me, okay?” He whispered, I nodded and got lost in his eyes. I felt a light poke and a suction. “I love you, talk to me.”

“I love you. I’m sorry for losing one of our babies.” I whispered, he shook his head and hushed me.

“It wasn’t your fault, baby. We’re having twins though. Two babies, mini versions of us. I hope if we have a girl she looks like you.”

“I want a boy that looks like you.” I replied with a smile.

“Maybe we’ll get both. My life will be complete though when you say I Do.” He said, kissing me.

“I’m already your wife in every other way possible.” I said, “Just not on paper yet. It us against the world, my love.”

“I know, and I thank God every day and night for you.” He whispered, resting his right hand on my left cheek. “I’m there 100%.”

“I know you are, love, I know.” I said, kissing him once more.

“Ma’s going to the house to get you some more clothes, too. After your recovery, hopefully we can go back home.”

“I want to talk to Nick, though.” I said, “You think we can have the guys over for supper along with your mama and Tony?”

“Do you think you’ll be up for that?”

“Yes. I know how this works. I’ll be under the weather for a couple of days, then back to normal.”

“Okay, beautiful. Anything you want. That sounds good to me.”

“What was Nick doing here anyways? I can understand Howie and Brian, but why was Nick here?” I asked, searching in his eyes.

“Leslie’s in rehab.”

“Oh no. What in the world?”

“Drugs again.” He said, my eyes widened—I was taken aback. The last time I talked to her, she was set in changing her ways. She was the emotional one of the Carter’s, she thought everyone had it out for her. She never understood that everyone just wanted to help her.

“Bless her heart.” I said, biting my lip. “The last time I talked to her she said was going to change.”

“Not everyone has that mindset baby.” He whispered, I nodded and sighed. Heather took her gloves off and stood up.

“I can tell you the sex if you’d like.” She said, looking down at us. I shook my head as did AJ.

“Can you just take it away?” I asked, tears welling up in my eyes. She nodded and excused herself, leaving Constance in the room with us.

“Okay sweetheart, two days of no strenuous activity you’ll have slight pain. You are scheduled to come back in a week for a follow up. Dr. Reiner already wrote you a prescription of 800mL of Tylenol 3, and Pre-Natal vitamins.” She said, handing AJ the prescription. “I’m going to take you to the recovery room for ten minutes, by then I’ll have your IV’s out and have the papers drawn up so you can be discharged. Mr. McLean have you finished those papers?”

“Almost done. I’ll finish them and give them to you in the recovery room.” He replied, she smiled and nodded before helping me up. AJ took me from her and laid me on the hospital bed. She wheeled me into the recovery room, AJ laid on the bed with me; I snuggled into his chest and sighed. He finished the papers, and kissed my forehead, “I love you Angel.”

“I love you, too, Al.” I replied as a knock came to the door. It was Denise and Constance.

“Here are the papers, Constance, thank you for what you’ve done for us.” AJ said, getting up and handing her the papers. She smiled and took him in her arms, hugging him tightly.

“It’s not problem at all, sweetheart. My husband and I went through the exact same thing when we were younger.” She said, patting his back. He smiled sadly, and returned to his spot beside me. Denise helped me out of my gown and into my clothes.

Constance handed AJ the discharge papers, and slipped him two sonograms of the twins. After we said our goodbyes, the three of us found Nick, Brian, and Howie in the waiting room. Nick stood up quickly and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Lay. Please forgive me for leaving like I did.” He begged in my ear.

“It’s water under the bridge, Nicky.” I whispered, kissing his cheek. I pulled away and looked at Howie and Brian, “The three of yal are welcomed to come over. Denise, Tony, Al and I are having supper tonight, and I would love it if yal joined.”

“I think we can make that work.” Brian said, hugging me. I grinned and kissed his cheek. We made our way outside, AJ helped me in the Denali; Nick rode with us. Denise and Brian followed us to our house. Tony met us at the door, he helped me out and hugged me tightly, kissing my head.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry about that, but congratulations on the twins.” He said, kissing my forehead once more. We walked inside, I went straight to the couch. I noticed that the blood spot was gone. I sighed and heard someone come up behind me, I bit my lip trying to suppress the tears from falling.

“Baby?” I heard AJ ask, I turned around and pressed my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. I broke down in his chest. He swayed us back and forth, and pressed his lips to my head. “Calm down baby, okay? I’m here, we’re here. I have you, you have me always.”

I nodded and pulled away from him, looking in his eyes. They were so mix with emotions, I couldn’t pinpoint them all. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his in a short but passionate kiss. “I love you so much, Alexander James.”

“I love you so much, Madalay Jane.” He said, kissing me once more. “Do you want to go take a bath?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m fixing to go.”

“I’ll run your bath.” He said, kissing my head once more. He walked upstairs to our bedroom. I walked in the kitchen seeing Brian, Howie, Denise, Nick and Tony sitting at the island.

“You okay sweetheart?” Denise asked as I walked to the fridge. I nodded and grabbed a bottle of water, opening it and taking a sip. I sighed and leaned against the counter.

“Where’s J at?” Brian asked, looking over at me.

“Running a bath for me. He wanted me to relax.”

“You need too, sweets.”

I nodded, “I know.”

“Baby, your bath is ready.” AJ said, walking in the kitchen. I bit my lip and excused myself, walking upstairs. As I walked in the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror and stripped my clothes, looking at my naked body. Tears fell from my eyes, I lost one child, but I still have two healthy babies.

I had to keep it together for them, for AJ and for myself. I love AJ with all my heart, I love my family. I had to be the stronger person, yet again. I walked to the tub and sat in it, letting the warmth consume my body. I sighed and ran my hands over my stomach. I had not only my life to take care of, but I had our twins and AJ.

“You okay baby?” I heard AJ ask, peeping through the door. I smiled and nodded, waving him over. He walked to me and kneeled, running his fingers through my hair.
“We’re going to be parents, Al.” I said, with happy tears falling down my cheeks. He grinned and nodded, pressing his lips to mine. He wiped the tears on my cheeks.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you Al, always and forever.”

“How about tonight when everyone leaves, you and I lay in the bed and watch a movie.” He proposed, I looked at him and smiled.

“That sounds so good.” I said, sitting up in the tub. He grabbed the loofa and washed my back, then my front. He helped me out the tub and wrapped a towel around me. We walked into the bedroom, he sat on the bed as I dried off.

“What you want to wear baby?” He asked, looking over at me.

“Shorts and a t-shirt. I don’t feel like dressing up too much.” I said, sliding on a pair of panties and a bra. I walked in the bathroom and took my make-up off my face. I walked back into the bedroom to see him getting me a pair of shorts and one of his shirts. I kissed him quickly before he helped me put my shorts on. I grabbed the shirt and threw it over my head, putting it on, it come down to my knees. I chuckled and looked in the floor length mirror seeing how I looked. I looked terrible. My eyes were bloodshot, my face was red from crying. I sighed and turned to AJ who smiled sadly.

“You’re beautiful.” He said, wrapping his arms around me.

“Yeah, you better make sure to remember that when I’m eight months pregnant and the size of our house.” I said, making him smile. I giggled and pressed my lips to his. “I love you.”

“I love you baby. Let’s go downstairs and see what Ma’s cooking.” He said, picking me up carefully. I latched onto him as he walked out of our bedroom and downstairs. Nick and Brian were playing the X-Box like kids. Howie was in the kitchen talking to Denise and Tony.

“Hey babies.” Denise said, as AJ sat me on the stool.

“Hey Den.” I said with a grin.

“You feeling better?” She wondered, I nodded.

“Yes mam. The bath helped these old bones.” I said, winking at her. She chuckled, along with Tony.

“Baby you don’t know old bones yet.” Tony said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissed my head. I leaned into him and smiled, closing my eyes. “I’m gonna start the grill, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Hey baby, why don’t you and Ma go in living room and watch some TV?” AJ asked, “Dad and I will get everything cooked.”

“Okay.” I said, getting off the stool. He leaned down and kissed me before he walked outside with Tony. “I have something I want to sing for yal. I wrote it for Al. I was going to see if he’ll sing it with me.”

“Okay, let’s hear it.” Howie said with a big smile. I stood up and grabbed Denise’s hand pulling her behind me to the studio. Brian and Nick caught on and followed. I grabbed my Dean Cutlass Acoustic Electric guitar and a pick and sat down. I plugged the guitar to the amp and looked at them.

“I’ve been working on this for years and I finally finished it.” I said playing the chords of Broken. I closed my eyes and swayed to the music.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away. I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

Yeah, you’re gone away. You don’t feel me here, anymore.

After I finished, I looked at the guys and Denise—not a dry eye in the room. Brian walked to me, took my guitar and hugged me tightly. “That was beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I whispered, kissing his cheek.

“I love it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” Nick said, hugging Brian and I.

“I think J will love it.” Howie said, hugging Nick, Brian and I.

“He will, I know he will.” Denise said getting up. We welcomed her in our hug. “Have you laid it down?”

“Yes mam, it’s on the laptop. I finished it a couple of weeks ago when the guys were on tour. Baylee sat in here and smiled the whole time as I laid the drums down. Then he wanted me to teach him to play the drums.” I said, hearing the guys and Denise laugh.

“That boy sure does love you.” Brian said, the guys and Denise agreed. “Let’s go watch TV.”

“Okay.” I said, with a smile. The five of us walked into the living room and sprawled out on the couch. I laid against the arm of the couch and laid my feet in Brian’s lap. I let them control what we watched, I smiled widely as The Longest Yard came on Fox. “One of my favorites!”

“I know. You don’t like football but you like football movies. What’s up with that?” Howie asked, looking over at me.

“I never said I didn’t like football, I just don’t understand it. I like baseball and basketball, if that helps.” I said, looking at him, batting my eyelashes. The guys laughed, Denise excused herself and walked outside with AJ and Tony. “Plus, I like Adam Sandler, Tracey Morgan, Burt Reynolds, Terry Crews, Goldberg and Nelly.”

“You worked with Nelly didn’t you?” Nick asked, I nodded.

“Sure have. I had a part in this movie, too. The original was filmed in Georgia.” I said, looking at the screen.

“You know what? As much as I know about you, I clearly know nothing. I’m fixing to look you up.” Nick said, making me laugh.

“Beware, you’re going to be surprised.” I said notably. He went to work on his phone.

“Holy shit! Drive Me Crazy, Big Daddy, 10 Things I Hate About You, Blow, Pearl Harbor, Bring It On, Remember the Titans, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Jesus babe!”

“Look on the screen!” Howie exclaimed, pointing at me in a hot pink dress.

“Damn girl!” AJ said walking in the living room. He gaped, seeing me on TV. “You still got that dress baby?”

“I got a black one that looks just like it.” I said, as he pulled me up, sat down and then pulled me in his lap. I snuggled in his chest and continued watching the movie.

“What exactly is your bank account?” Nick asked, looking up from his phone.

“Plenty.” I said with a small laugh. AJ wrapped his arms around me protectively and kissed my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We all sat there in silence watching the movie, it was almost over with when Denise walked in and told us supper was ready. The five of us got up and went into the kitchen. AJ fixed the drinks, then fixed my plate. We sat at the table and waited for Brian to say grace.

AJ sat to the right of me, while Brian sat on the left, then Tony at the Captain’s Chair, Denise to the left of him, then Nick and Howie. We held hand and bowed our heads. “Heavenly Father, thank you for each blessing you’ve given us. Lord I ask that you wrap your arms around Lay and J at this time, keep her and the twins healthy as well as J. I ask you bless this food that will nourish our bodies. In your name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen.” We said in unison. We started eating and talking about studio time; they were worried about the twins and I.

“I’ll be fine. I’m producing not running track.” I said in shock. I couldn’t believe they were going to ‘ban’ me from the studio because they didn’t want to add stress to me. “I don’t get stressed out, okay? I’ve grown up from that. If we have any problems in the studio I’ll just holler at yal, make yal feel like scolded kids and yal will feel bad.”

“Damn.” Tony said, looking at me. I smiled widely and nodded. Denise winked at me.

“We’ve seen you mad before, I don’t want that to happen again, because you scared the shit out of me.” Nick said, looking at me. I grinned and got up, fixing me another plate. AJ pulled my chair out, then pushed it under me. I thanked him and kissed the corner of his lips.

“So when are yal going to California?” Brian asked, looking at me.

“I think we leave Thursday. I thought it was pretty cool that they asked Al to do it, too. Saved me for having to go alone.” I said, nudging his ribs.

“Is that all I’m here for? So you don’t have to go alone places?” AJ asked dramatically. I giggled and kissed his cheek.

“Only when I have to fly.” I said, making the guys and Denise laugh. AJ looked at me and broke out in a smile. I scarfed my plate down and got up, receiving looks from the guys. “Go away, I was hungry.”

“Okay baby.” AJ said as I glared at him. I grinned and started washing the dishes, but Howie moved me out the way gracefully. I shook my head and smiled; Brian, Nick and AJ cleaned the kitchen.

At 10 PM, Denise and Tony said their goodbyes. The guys decided to stay over, for AJ and I. They waited on us hand and foot, much to our dismay. AJ and I finally settled in bed, wrapped up in to each other. He put Pulp Fiction on and recited the whole movie—I couldn’t help but to laugh. Every so often, he’d kiss my head, reassuring that everything will be okay.

I laid in his arms hearing his soft snores; I couldn’t be any luckier than what I was already. Alexander James McLean is my world, my life, my one and only. I couldn’t be any happier to bring two humans in this world that were a mixture of AJ and I.

Even though we lost one baby, we still had two and we still had each other-- just us against the world.

“Baby are you ready?” AJ asked walking in the bedroom. I clipped my earrings and looked at him through the mirror. I smiled and nodded, turning around.

“How do I look?”

“Beautiful as always. We have to get going if we’re gonna make it the interview on time.”

“I’m never on time.” I said, pressing my lips to his. He chuckled and nodded.

“I know.” He grinned, pulling me behind him out of his house. We got into his Benz, but I stopped him.

“Hey baby can we go in the Chevelle?” I asked, as he sat in the Benz, he looked up at me and smiled widely.

“Fuck yes we can!” He exclaimed, getting out the Benz and locking it back. We walked to the garage and got in the Chevelle. He couldn’t quit smiling, “That made me so happy.”

“Why?” I asked as he backed out the driveway and headed towards LA. I reached over and grabbed his hand, caressing his hand with the pad of my thumb. “Because I wanted to ride in the Chevelle?”

“Yeah, not many ladies liked it.” He said, coming up to the red light. I shrugged and grabbed my phone showing him my midnight purple 68 Chevelle. His eyes lit up. “How come I haven’t seen this yet?”

“You never went in my garage. I have a 67 Camaro SS; it’s charcoal grey with a scoop on the hood.” I said, “It’s in Denise and Tony’s garage. He usually drives it.”

“That’s yours?” He asked, looking at me. I smiled and nodded.

“You’re not the only one with a lot of cars.” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. “I still have that Toyota I had back in school. I have Poppa A’s Impala—I bought it to finish off the hospital bills for Grams.”

“Can I see it when we get back to Florida?” He asked, I nodded. “What else do you have?”

“I have a 70 Sting Ray in the underground garage, along with one of my favorite vehicles ever.” I said, with a smile.

“What?”

“I have a Nova Wagon!”

He laughed loudly, “You’re shitting me.”

“No sir. I have pictures of it, too.”

“What’s your favorite?” He wondered, I smiled and swiped right to it. It was a light tealish robin’s egg color 1967 Ls1 SS.

“It was my first car. I restored it when I got my first big paycheck. It’s my baby.” I said, showing him the picture. His eyes widened, his lips curved into a smile.

“Is that Kojack?” He wondered, I bit my lip and nodded.

“It is.”

“That’s fucking beautiful. When we get back to Florida we have to ride in it. That was the first car I got to drive, the first car I failed to get my license.”

“I know. It’s my baby. It’s in the garage as well.” I said, as we pulled up to the Kwanis where the interview and photoshoot was going to be. We got out the car and walked inside, hand in hand.

“Madalay it’s so nice to see you again.” Matt McDermitt said with a bright smile, he hugged me and looked at AJ. “Nice seeing you again, AJ.”

“Diya here?” I asked, he looked at me and nodded. “Hell yes!”

“She’s doing your interview.”

“What?”

“Yeah, surprise?”

I chuckled, “I have a better surprise. AJ and I are expecting.”

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, “I heard you proposed to him.”

I nodded, “And right after, he said that he’d only marry me if I married him. He proposed the same night.”

“I watched it, I cried like a baby.” I chuckled and shook my head. “Congratulations on the pregnancy, what are you two hoping for?”

“Both.” We said in unison.

“Both?” Matt asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“We’re having twins.” AJ said, making me smile widely. Matt’s eyes widened and he gaped as it registered.

“Holy fucking hell! AJ you are the man!” Matt exclaimed, hugging us both.

“Why do you say that?” Diya asked from behind him. She took me in her arms and hugged me.

“AJ and Lay are having twins.”

“Holy shit! Crongrats baby!” She said kissing my cheek.

“Thank you.” I replied, as she hugged AJ.

We walked in the studio and sat down with Diya.

“So, AJ, I heard there was another album in the mix—what can you tell me about it?” Diya asked, as the interview started.

“Uhm, since Kevin left the group on a hiatus, the four of us are honing into an album that we have full control over. Mada is producing it, which I’m over the top excited about.”

“Really? She’s produced a lot of hits in her time, do you think that will happen?” She wondered.

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t happen. I mean, other than her, Backstreet Boys has the best fans in my opinion. They’ve been there since we started—they are always interacting in ways with the group.” He replied, I nodded.

“Backstreet Boys do have the best fans. They’ve been real supportive of AJ and I.” I added, AJ grabbed my hand and nodded.

“That’s true. They’re supportive of every relationship in the band.” AJ said, Diya smiled.

“I know you two as well as the band are a part of many foundations. What is the one that it’s close to home?”

“We’re both members of the American Diabetes Association, his… well our Poppa A had diabetes as well as his Uncle. I’m a part of the American Hearts Association for our Grams and Brian. We have given tremendously to the American Cancer Association as well as to St. Judes; I usually go a couple times a year to see the kids.”

“That’s amazing, really notable. So, tattoos… I know you both have well over ten, can you tell me about some that you do have and their meaning?”

“You want to go first?” AJ asked, looking at me. I chuckled but nodded.

“I have over thirty tattoos. One of my favorites is the roses and the time clock on my bicep. Our Grams loved roses, and the time clock is the one she gave me when I was a little girl; weird enough the clock stopped on the time she died, so I have the original time of her death. Another is of my biological mom; she died when I was very little; I have her signature on my wrist.” I said, running the pad of my thumb over the tattoo. “My thighs are a favorite of mine. If anyone knows me, I love skulls and roses. I have several roses with a sugar skull, it comes up to my side with What Makes You Different Makes You Beautiful under it. While on the other leg is a dreamcatcher with a Cherokee Indian and her elder.”

“She has better tattoos than me.” AJ added with a smile.

“Though, my favorite is a newer one. It has a king crown with AL under it going down my thumb.”

“AJ what are yours?”

“My favorite is the queen crown with MADA under it.” He said with a big smile, “I have the traditional mom tattoo, as well. The cross is a favorite… I don’t know I enjoy all of my tattoos even the ones people really don’t understand.”

“Fair enough, do you think that Madalay will ever be featured on any Backstreet album?” Diya asked, looking at him.

“I wouldn’t mind her being on it at all. I love her voice, it’s angelic.” He said, entwining his fingers with mine.

“That’s amazing and yes she does.” Diya stated, “Are you having any thoughts of a solo album?”

“I would like a solo album, really. Nick has done his, Howie has done one, and Brian has as well. I’ve wrote a couple of songs already, but we’ll see how it goes. I’d like Madalay to produce it.” He said admirably.

“She’s produced some of the best songs and albums, for her age. She’s like master at that also with tattoos. I have a lot of her work on me. Madalay what is it really like tattooing?” Diya asked.

“I love it. It’s peaceful, really. Just hearing the sound of a gun is amazing and fulfilling. I love being able to put images that people have created whether it be meaningful to them, I love hearing their stories when they come in and explain what they want and why they want it.”

“That’s amazing. I know the four you did for me, you drew them all. You took my idea and you ran with it, adding a little you in there. With the finished product, I couldn’t believe it. You were adamant about what I wanted, you were precise and you listened to me. I thought a lot about you for that reason. I have tattoos from some artists that didn’t listen to me at all, and with those tattoos I wasn’t happy with.” She explained, making me smile.

“I like to take the time of hearing what the canvases want. I have to impress them, it’s their skin that permanent ink is going in to.” I said, looking at her. She nodded.

“Have you ever turned anyone down?” She wondered.

“I hate to say it, but yes I have. There was an eighteen year old that came in and she was wanting to rebel out. I sat there and explained to her that what she wanted wasn’t something she needed on her skin permanently. I understand rebelling out, but wanted something like she did wasn’t what she needed on her skin at all.” I said, “She ended up getting a rival tattoo shop to do it for her. She saw me a couple months later and told me she regretted it. She said she should’ve listened to me, but she was hell bent and determined to get it.”

“Was it hard to turn her down?” She wondered.

“It was. I mean, I enjoy tattooing people, but when I do it, I want them to be proud of it, not regret it. It would break my heart if I done work on someone and they said they hated it; I would probably quit tattooing all together.” I said, squeezing AJ’s hand lightly. He looked at me and winked.

“I understand completely. Is there any tattoos that you are wanting to get?” She asked, AJ and I both nodded quickly.

“I love the Phantom of the Opera, I’ve always been a fan of the play and musical; I know that AJ was the Phantom in the Backstreet’s Back video; I was thinking about getting his face tattooed on the lower part of my back.”

“You know what would be cool? If you done that and you be his Christine. Have him holding you in his arms, you long for him looking away, and he looks straight. That would be beautiful.”

“I like that idea.” AJ added.

“I want a quote in there. Like “Your chains are still mine! You belong to me!”, there is so much emotion in that one quote.”

“I like it. I think I’ll get something like that. Good thinking baby.” AJ said, nudging me with his arms. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“My idea!” I exclaimed, making him and Diya laugh. “Kidding, you can have the same.”

“Okay, we’ll talk about it later.” He said, patting my hand. I grinned and batted my eyelashes.

“You two are such an amazing couple.” Diya said, “You two are engaged right?”

“Yeah we are. My life is so much better with her in my life. She understands me down to the core, and she doesn’t judge me at all. She’s helped me in more ways than just recently. When we were younger she was there for me through everything.”

“We are anything but normal—relationship wise. Well, I’m normal, him not so much.” I said chuckling, “I’m kidding. He’s normal, just very unique but I love everything about him. He loves shopping, which he can shop for me anytime—I don’t care for shopping too much. He paints my toenails and fingernails so I don’t have to go to the salon. I hate driving.”

“That’s the damn truth. As much as she drives, she hates it. It’s always “Baby please drive. I love you!” Sometimes I think that’s why she keeps me around.”

“Oh come on, you know I love you. Not only because you drive all the time.” I said, leaning over and pressing my lips to his. “I love you more than anything, the fact that you drive is a added bonus.”

“I understand.” He started, “I love you, too, baby.” He said, kissing me once more. I grinned and laid my head on his shoulder.

“Are you two wanting a big wedding, small wedding?” Diya asked, I looked up at AJ and shrugged.

“Small would be fine, I don’t need anything huge to be a McLean.” I said, looking at her. She grinned and nodded.

“What about a family?”

“Well, we are pregnant with twins. We were actually pregnant with triplets, but one passed away.” AJ explained, Diya’s eyes widened and her face fell.

“I’m so sorry. My condolences and congratulations.” She said, “I can’t imagine what you two are going through.”

“It hurts, but there wasn’t anything I could’ve done—we didn’t even know I was pregnant until we got to the hospital. AJ’s hurting as well, but he’s helped me a lot through this. The pain is unbearable, it’s hard that we did lose a child; though we do have something to look forward with the twins.” I said, snuggling into AJ’s chest, trying to subside the tears. He kissed my head and pulled his arm from mine, wrapping it over my shoulders.

“AJ what do you have to say about it?”

“There isn’t much I can say. When she goes to sleep at night, she cries a little bit and it breaks my heart—I hate seeing her in pain. I’ll wait until she’s asleep and I’ll break down. I ask God why we lost one, but then I have to thank Him for the twins. I ask him to give me the strength to help Madalay through everything. I want to be everything she deserves; I would snatch the sun, moon and stars for her.”

“That’s amazing. I’ve interviewed a lot of couples, but never any that are as in depth as you two in love. Like I can look at you two and see that there is a flame that is burning bright.” Diya said, almost dreamily.

“I love him. He’s my best friend, my lover, my one and only.”

“I can say the same about her. She’s my everything, I love her more than anything in this world, and nothing will ever change that—except for the twins and if we have more kids; but other than that, she’s it for me.” AJ added, making me smile. Tears welled up once more, I hid my face in his chest.

“Oh baby,” He started, and took me in his arms. I cried lightly in his chest, he rocked us back and forth on the stool. I sighed and wiped my eyes. “Hormones baby?”

I nodded and kissed him lovingly. I slid off his lap and stood between his legs. He wrapped his arms protectively around my waist, rubbing my stomach. Diya looked at us and smiled, “It’s time for yal’s photoshoot. Lay do you mind being in a bra and underwear?”

“Al is it okay with you?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Are you okay with it?” He wondered, kissing my forehead.

“Both of yal will be in underwear.” Diya adds, AJ nodded, then I nodded. We followed her to the trailer and got dressed in our ‘clothes’. I looked down and smiled at my growing stomach, I couldn’t wait to meet them.

“You ready baby?” AJ asked walking up behind me. I looked at him and smiled, “Don’t you look beautiful?”

“You do, too.” I whispered, running my hands up his chest. He grinned and pressed his lips to mine. “I love you Al.”

“I love you Mada.” He whispered in reply, “Come on, Matt was telling me about the shoot.”

“Okay.” I said, following him out of the trailer. He helped me step out of it, we met in the warehouse where Matt was.

“Okay, I want you two to act natural together, which it won’t be a problem.” He said with a smile. I looked and saw a bed and a couch. I walked to the bed and laid on it, AJ walked slowly over to me and sat at my feet. I called him up to me, he smiled and crawled slowly up my body, pressing kisses along my stomach.

Out the corner of my eye, I noticed Matt was walking towards us. AJ covered my body, turning his head and pressing his lips to my neck. My fingernails dug into his flesh, causing him to groan. I smirked and looked up at Matt as he snapped the picture. I turned my head, catching AJ’s lips. He flipped us over, I straddled his stomach, taking his hands on either side of his head; I leaned down and kissed him.

After a few shots, he and I got up and walked to the couch. I smiled, looking back at him as we walked to the couch. He laid on the couch, and kept his knees in the air. I sat on his knees and looked down at him, grinning and receiving a smirk from him. His hands rested on my thighs, I leaned down and hoisted myself over him.

“I love you so much.” I said, looking in his eyes; they were filled with love, warmth, security.

“I love you baby, always and forever.” He whispered in reply. I leaned down and kissed him quickly; I sat up and he rested his hands on my stomach. I laid my hands over his and looked down.

“That was amazing. I think we have all we need. I want to do a few shots with your car AJ, if we can.” Matt said, with a bright smile. AJ and I looked at him and nodded. I got up and helped AJ up—we dressed in our regular clothes, but I ended up with a pair of shorts. We met back up with Diya and Matt. “The video should be to you by the end of Saturday.”

“Okay, that’s cool man.” AJ said, as we got to the hood of the Chevelle; he and I stood in front of it—he slung his arm over my shoulders, I brought my left hand to his and linked out index finger together. After a few shots, we were finished and headed back to AJ’s.

“Hey baby can we walk on the beach tonight?” I asked, looking over at him on the couch. He looked from the TV and smiled, adding a small nod. “What’s on your mind, talk to me.”

“I’m going to sell this place.” He said, pulling me gently to him. I grinned and pressed my lips to his. “Good then you can move in with me at our house in Florida.”

“Yes, and I can’t wait.” He whispered, pressing his lips to mine with a smile. “I love you so much.”

“I love you Al, more than anything.” I replied, kissing him again. “You are everything I’ve wanted and more.”

“You are, too, baby.” He said, hugging me tightly. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed happily. I stood up, leaving him questioning my actions. I held my finger up and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge. I grabbed the pack of hotdogs and got two out for me, I wrapped them in a paper towel and popped them in the microwave for ten seconds. As the microwaved beeped, I grabbed then out and fixed me a glass of tea. I walked back into the living room and sat beside AJ, he chuckled and kissed my head.

“Don’t laugh at me. I was hungry.” I said, nudging his ribs. He sat up quickly and started laughing, I furrowed my eyebrows and grinned. “Aww is Al ticklish?”

“Don’t you dare!” He exclaimed, jumping up quickly. I laughed loudly and walked after him, he started skipping through the dining room. I slipped around the short hall into the laundry room where he normally hid. I opened the pantry and grabbed him. He screamed, making me flail away from him. I couldn’t help but to laugh, I couldn’t stop either. I crossed my legs, trying not to pee all over myself.

I walked quickly to the hall bathroom and peed quickly. As I washed my hands and walked out, AJ was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I grinned and held my hands up, surrendering. “I almost pissed in my pants after that scream you belted out. I didn’t mean to scare you that bad baby. “

“You’re gonna get it when you’re least expecting it.” He said, smiling sarcastically.

“I love you Alexander James.”

“I love you Madalay Jane.” He pressed his lips to mine. I smiled and took his hand, pulling him through the house to the living room. We took our original places on the couch, I continued to eat my hotdogs.

“Sing to me.” I said, laying my head on his chest.

“What you want me to sing?” He asked, with his lips against my head. I shrugged and closed my eyes, smiling to myself.
When we turn out the lights, the two of us alone together; something's just not right. But girl, you know that I would never ever let another's touch come between the two of us cause no one else will ever take your place.

No one else comes close to you. No one makes me feel the way you do. You're so special, girl, to me, and you'll always be eternally. Every time I hold you near, you always say the words I love to hear. Girl, with just one touch you can do so much; No one else comes close.

“Beautiful.” I said, smiling up to him. He grinned and pressed his lips to mine. “What kind of wedding do you want to have?”

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter baby, as long as it’s you meeting me at the altar, that’s all that matters.” He said, running his hand up and down my side.

“I want it to be us. Neither of us is normal exactly—we both like the same thing. Skulls, black, things like that.”

“I see what you’re saying. Well we can do whatever you want to do baby. Our wedding day will be the best, I trust in that. I want to help, but I don’t want it to get too stressful on you at all.”

I nodded, “I understand. Would it be weird to wear a black wedding dress? Or would you rather have me in white?”

“Baby you could be in a paper bag and still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He said making me laughing lightly.

“Paper bag it is then.” I said, grabbing the remote and turning it to ABCFamily and seeing Boy Meets World was on. I smiled and buried myself deeper in AJ’s side. I wrapped my arm around his stomach, holding him close. “Everyone deserves that.”

“What?”

“A love like Cory and Topanga.” I said, sighing, “Like ours.”

“I agree, when people find that one everything is a hundred percent better.” He said kissing my head. I smiled and looked up at him. “Everything becomes perfect.”

“I always dreamed of having a Cory. You can just tell how much he loves Topanga. When you and I took each other’s virginity; I felt a connection that I never felt again, until you and I saw each other again… when we actually had a conversation; not me saying that I hated you. When we first talked, and then made love… that connection come back quickly.” I said softly, “When you left my house that morning, and left that note… I felt empty. I knew I lost you once again. I thought you realized what a mistake I have been.”

“You are never and will never be a mistake, baby. I was stupid, like always. I was the one that left you… I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve stayed and we would’ve started everything earlier. I love you with all my heart, I never stopped. No girl I’ve had in my life has ever meant more than anything to me than you.”

“But when Marc called your mama that night and she sat on my bed and cried to me, I knew that I loved you. You mean a lot to me, Al, you really do. Even after what happened when we were younger, you still meant a lot to me. I never wanted you to get hurt. I know a lot of our fights when we were younger stemmed from my mouth, but I wouldn’t ever want you to get hurt. When I told you your daddy could try to come back into the picture… I found out he did. I remember you got mad because I told you that would happen, I didn’t tell you to hurt you… I just wanted to protect you. My dad done the same.”

“Wha-what?” He asked, I shrugged.

“It was after you guys left for tour he came to the house. He and Marc got in a fight, Marc almost killed him. He said a lot of hurtful things that I can’t ever forgive him over.” I said, looking up at him, biting the inside of my lip.

“He won’t ever mess with you again, I can promise you that.” He whispered, I caught that familiar love in his eyes. He pressed his lips to mine. “I do love you. I love you more than anything in this world.”

“I know you do, and I love you more than anything in this world as well.” I said, kissing him once more. “This episode, the feelings and emotions when Cory and Topanga break up, is what I felt when you left. I’m glad I have you back in my life… I have my Cory.”

“I used to sit up on the bus and watch this, always wondering if you were watching it, too.” He said, then whispered, “You’ve always been my Topanga.”