If I Knew Then by DelphinaCarter
Past Featured StorySummary:  photo photostudio_1549522804961_zpsxyku7eqc.jpg


On his 17th birthday, Nick confesses his deepest, darkest secret to Brian. Little does he know that Brian is hiding a secret of his own.
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: AJ, Brian, Group, Howie, Kevin, Nick
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Slash M/M
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 46 Completed: Yes Word count: 81299 Read: 34676 Published: 02/07/19 Updated: 02/14/21
Chapter 29 by DelphinaCarter
Author's Notes:
Hey all. Sorry for the delay on this chapter.
I was sick for some time and very busy, too busy to write regularly. It took me a bit to get this chapter together so I hope you like it.

“Husband?”


Brian didn’t know how long he’d been asleep for, but he was surprised to hear a voice other than Nick’s trying to wake him. He stirred, allowing himself to sit up and yawn as Leighanne called out, more impatient this time.


Brian’s eyes fluttered open in confusion, seeing an older looking Leighanne at the foot of the bed carrying a small fluffy white dog under her arm. Two more fluffy dogs ran around at her feet, yapping excitedly. Brian was so confused because he was not in the hotel anymore, and Nick was nowhere to be found.


“What did you call me?” Brian asked as he blinked again. He was in a large king sized bed, in a gaudily decorated bedroom that looked like one of those you would see in a designer’s magazine. The type of bedroom you’d see on Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous.


“Don’t be silly, I called you Husband like I always do. You’ve overslept, it’s time for breakfast.”


Before Brian could question her again, she was out of the room. Brian sat tangled in the satin sheets of the bed, still looking around the room for a clue as to how he’d gotten here. Where was Nick? Why was Leighanne calling him Husband?


Brian started to get up and noticed that he had a huge gold ring on his hand, covered with diamonds. This had to be a dream, but he wondered what it meant. Why was he married? He didn’t love Leighanne, at least he didn’t think he did.  He wandered out of the bedroom into the hallway, and his mouth fell open. The wall was covered with awards, gold and platinum records. All of them had pictures of him and the other boys on them from different albums they had done. Was he seeing the future?


“Husband, are you coming or would you like a written invitation?” Leighanne’s voice called from down the stairway. A trophy case was at the end of the stairs to the kitchen filled with various awards that the Backstreet Boys had won. Something he noticed was that Nick was not in some of the photos as if he’d left the group. Brian didn’t understand what was going on or why he was seeing this, but if he and the boys had all this success and he lived in such a lavish place...it couldn’t be all bad.


“Sorry, I must have still been tired.” Brian apologized as he rubbed his eyes again to see if he was still seeing everything he was seeing. He kept wondering why Nick was missing from those photos. Did something happen?


Suddenly he felt light headed, and his chest hurt as if his heart had suddenly decided it didn’t want to work properly anymore.


“Are you feeling okay?” Leighanne asked. She looked at him with concern, but before he could answer her he fell to the ground, clutching his chest. Something was wrong. What was happening? He tried to get air but it was like someone was standing on his chest, holding him on the ground so he couldn’t move.


“I-” Brian whispered as his eyes watered. He choked on his own breath. He couldn’t speak.


“Brian? Are you okay? Answer me, Brian!!!”


“BRIAN!”


Leighanne’s screams were all he heard as everything went black.




“Brian? Are you okay? Answer me, Brian!”


“Brian!!”


Brian’s eyes fluttered open and he was back in the hotel room, Nick looking at him as if he’d seen a ghost. He was sweaty and panic stricken.


“Wh-what’s going on?” Brian asked wearily. He felt like he had been asleep for a lifetime.


“You scared me. You were breathing funny when you had your head on my chest and when I tried to wake you up, you wouldn’t answer me so I panicked.” Nick said breathlessly.


“I’m fine.” Brian lied, clutching the blankets. His chest was hurting a bit but he figured it was from the dream giving him anxiety. He rubbed at it absentmindedly, thinking.


“I’m fine.” Brian repeated shakily.


“You don’t look fine to me.”


“Nick, I’m fine. Okay? Just drop it.” Brian snapped, getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. On the way he grabbed what he hoped were his underwear off of the floor. His hands were clammy and he was shaking with nerves. He knew he wouldn’t calm down unless he was alone and away from Nick’s line of questioning.



“Brian…”



Brian answered him by slamming the bathroom door and locking it behind him so Nick couldn’t come in. Nick watched him dejectedly and lay back down against the pillows of the bed in silence.



Brian didn’t think he was in the bathroom that long but when he had come back out, Nick was asleep again. He felt bad for snapping at him again but he would apologize in the morning. Sighing, he decided to go for a walk after getting dressed to clear his head and left the room without telling Nick because he didn’t want to disturb him.



“Oh!”


Brian opened his eyes after he ran into the person in the hallway, he was surprised to see Leighanne standing there with a bag. He had completely forgotten that she was coming to town for his birthday and as a result, he hadn’t told Nick as he’d promised Kevin he would.


“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Leighanne asked, noticing how unsettled he looked.


“I’m so sorry, I should have been looking where I was going. I had a weird dream and I wanted to take a walk, I guess. I’ll be okay.” Brian stammered quickly.


Leighanne looked at him the way Nick did.


“Maybe you need to lie down? You look like you’re going to faint.”


“No, I think I need to just take a walk.”


He looked back at Leighanne and thought about his dream. Maybe it was trying to tell him he should be with her. Maybe the dream was showing him his future.


“You mind if I take a walk with you? Maybe we can find someplace and get a coffee?” Leighanne asked. Brian thought about Nick sleeping back at the room and decided that conversation could wait until later. Right now he felt that being with his girlfriend was the right thing to do.


“Sure, let’s put your bag in the room and we can go.” Brian smiled, taking her bag for her. They started towards the room but Leighanne stopped when they reached the door.


“Wait, are you and Nick still sharing rooms? Maybe I should just get my own room. I don’t want to disturb him if he’s sleeping.”


“Yeah, you could say we are.” Brian said, rubbing the back of his head because they’d had sex earlier. Leighanne said something about getting coffee and just putting her bag in Brian’s room until they came back.


Brian thought quickly, because he didn’t even really want to put the bag in the room and wake Nick up. He knew if Nick saw him fully dressed and with a suitcase he would start asking questions.


“Let’s let him sleep then, and I’ll stay with you tonight.”


Brian decided he could figure out this whole thing in the morning when he felt better, because right now his anxiety was telling him that was a better idea. He felt sick to his stomach but maybe spending time with Leighanne was what he needed. After all, she was in his dream and they were happy. Being with her seemed like a better option than dealing with Nick anyway. It was his birthday and he wanted things to go well, surely it would be okay with Nick if she was just visiting.


At least he hoped it was.
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