(Author's Note: things in ' ' are thoughts. Read, Review, Enjoy!!)

~Summer 2000~

"Thank you everyone, and keep the Backstreet pride alive! Goodnight!" Howie closed as he ran off the stage at the end of their last concert of the tour. As soon as he got backstage, he collapsed on the couch as usual and curled up into a ball.

"Should we go over there and talk to him?" Brian asked.

"Nah, we've already had this talk with him millions of times. It’s time for him to pull himself together," Kevin answered.

"I hate seeing him like this. If I knew where that bitc..." AJ started but Howie stopped him.

"Stop it, you guys! I'm fine. I know that I've been down a lot lately, and I'm sorry, but don't worry about me. I'll be ok. I just need a break, ya know?"

"Yeah, I understand, D. We all do, we're just concerned about ya that's all," Nick said.

"I know you guys are. Thanks. I'm going to get on the bus, ok?" Howie said.

"Yeah, me too. I'm kind of beat," AJ said.

Everyone stopped and stared at AJ incredulously.

"What?! I can get tired, too, ya know."

"Yeah, we know, Bone, it's just that it only happens once every four years," Brian replied with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," AJ muttered as he and Howie exited the room to get on the bus.


~*~


Once they got onto the bus, Howie got in his bunk and AJ got into his right across from Howie's.

"Yo, D! You sleep?" "Nope."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Just did."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, what is it man?" Howie asked exhaustedly.

"You still miss her, don't you?"

"Who?" Howie asked.

"Who else man?! Tori. I know you still love her, yo."

"Of course I still love her, Bone. I never stopped." Howie sighed. "It just makes me so angry sometimes."

"Who wouldn't be mad if someone left them at the altar? AJ stated.

"That's not the reason that I'm still mad."

"Then why, man?"

"I just want to know why. Why did she leave me? Where is she now? Is she ok? What is she doing, thinking, wearing...ANYTHING! Any info on her. I just want to know that she's ok, ya know?"

"If you still love her, then go after her."

"How?"

"Hire a private detective to find her," AJ simply stated.

"They cost a lot of money. I've already considered that. Plus, what if it gets out that I hired a private eye? I can just see the headlines now, 'Howie D., Backstreet Boy, Hires Detective to Stalk Ex-Fiancée.' The press would have a field day with that," Howie sighed.

"Yeah, man, I guess you're right. Well we're on break now, D, so try to forget about it for awhile and have fun, I'm going to a small town outside Philly for a little R&R. Not to mention some partying in the City of Brotherly Love. Why don't you come with me? Help keep me out of the trouble that you know I'm going to get into," AJ said, taking off his glasses and setting them on the small table at the head of his bed.

"I don't know, AJ. You get pretty rowdy sometimes."

"I know. You can be my conscience. Come on, pleeeeaasseeeee?!" AJ whined.

"Alright. But just cause I don't want you to into a whole lotta trouble," Howie replied as he smiled slightly.

"Good. We leave tomorrow at 12 noon, ok?"

"Yeah, that's ok. What's the name of the town?"

"Lightsville," AJ stated. "Yo, I'm gonna shower."

"Ok. I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight, bro," Howie said as he yawned and turned over.

"Goodnight, D," AJ said as he closed the bathroom door.

'I wonder what Tori's doing right now? I hope she's ok where ever she is. If you can hear me or even feel me like you used to Tori, I love you, and hope that you're ok,' Howie thought as he drifted into a deep slumber.

"Alrighty then, we'll see you guys...Uh, when are you two coming back?" Brian questioned.

"Uh, AJ?" Howie asked.

"We'll let ya know when we get there. Most likely for a month, or maybe if I, I mean we, get bored we'll be back in a week or two. Ok?" AJ said.

"That's cool. Well we'd better get to our gate y'all. Our flight leaves in thirty minutes," Kevin stated.

"Where are you guys going?" Howie asked.

"Me and Bri are going home, and Nick is staying with Bri at Aunt Jackie's," Kevin answered.

"Yeah, we're going to teach Frack what it's like in the country," Brian said, patting Nick on the back.

"Cool. Well, we gotta get going. We'll keep in touch," AJ said, starting towards the runway.

"See ya, guys," Nick, Kevin, and Brian chimed.


~*~


"Just wait and see D. This is going to be a vacation we'll never forget. I know it!" AJ said.

"I hope you're right, man," Howie said. "At least we have a nice view. Yo, Bone, look at these clouds. It's beautiful man. Bone, yo! AJ!"

Howie turned to see what was distracting AJ, only to find him flirting with the flight attendant. He shook his head and took out his headphones. As he listened to the smooth sounds of Santana, he watched the clouds drift by as his eyes slowly drifted closed, rendering Howie to a deep, dreamless sleep.

When the plane touched ground, they got off the plane and took out their disguises. They got an inconspicuous vehicle and a map and left for Lightsville.

Lightsville was a medium sized city with a few hotels and clubs here and there. But other than that and a small mall, it was like a town.

AJ and Howie found an Inn and got a room. It was a small room with two beds, a small kitchen and bath.

That night, AJ decided to go out to a local club that the receptionist told him about. Howie decided to go for a walk and just chill in the room.

"You sure man, I mean, this is your vacation too," AJ said, a little worried about his friend.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go ahead, I'll be fine. Have fun," Howie said as he pushed AJ towards the door.

"Alright, alright, I'm going. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said as he started down the hallway.

"Which isn't much," Howie said after him, laughing.

"Ha ha ha, funny man. Don't wait up," AJ said as he rounded the corner out of sight.

As AJ pulled into the club's parking lot he looked up at the sign in neon lights.

"The Memnoch. Sounds cool," he said as he got out of the car.

It wasn't the usual type of club that AJ was used to. It was more like a restaurant with a dance floor and a stage. The walls were a crimson color with black sparkles. The tables were red with black glass tops. Each table had a dark red candle with a black ribbon tied around the bottom. The place would be dark and gloomy like if not for the yellow spotlights placed strategically around the club.

AJ spotted an empty table close to the stage and next to the dance floor, which was in the middle of the club. He took a seat and watched some people dancing on the floor. A waiter came up to him and took his drink order and returned a few minutes later with his favorite drink, Bloody Mary.

All of a sudden the lights began to flicker on and off. Everyone scattered off the dance floor and waited for the announcer to come on stage. As soon as he did everyone in the place quieted down, and AJ watched with intrigue as the announcer began to speak.

"You all know what time it is. It's time for our favorite entertainer to sing us a song. This one is for the lovers in the place. Everyone please put your hands together for Ms. Darlene," the announcer said, as the audience began to clap.

A few people started to walk onto the stage at the microphones in the back, and one guy sat on a stool with his guitar in hand.

When the band started, a voice came from off stage. It was beautiful and full of passion. Then, suddenly the woman the voice belonged to walked onto stage and AJ gasped as he watched her.


"I saw your new girlfriend the other day and I expected for her to be so much more than she was / I checked out her style / The way she smiled / The way she moved / The things she said / The way she looked at me like 'I've got your man...'"


"Tori?!" AJ said breathlessly. It was her. She was here, on stage. Singing! He couldn't believe it.

She looked the same yet different at the same time. Her hair grew down to the middle of her back. She lost a lot of weight. She was wearing a crimson colored, tight fitting dress with spaghetti straps. The middle was bare, with a sheer black material that covered the whole dress. The black material had little black flowers on it. The dress came down to her ankles, with a long slit up the left side stopping at the middle of her thigh.

She looked great! She sounded even better. AJ never knew that she could sing, and so beautifully. He had a feeling that Howie never knew either.

Just then AJ thought, 'Aw man, Howie. What's he gonna do when he finds out?' When Aj noticed that the song was about to end, he looked towards the stage hoping to get Tori's attention. When she didn't look his way he stood up and started to walk to the stage.

When he was a few feet away from the stage Tori turned to him, looking him directly in the face.

The announcer walked on stage and took the microphone from out of Tori's hand. Up until now Tori hadn't moved.

'Is that really AJ? If that is him the guys must be near. That means...' "Oh god," Tori said as she swallowed the huge lump that developed in her throat.

The announcer tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. Slowly she began to walk off stage. When she reached the backstage area the announcer quickly spun her around and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"What the hell were you doing up there, huh?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" he yelled.

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," Tori replied.

"You're DAMN RIGHT you WEREN'T thinking! You're lucky I get something out of you working here, or else your dumb ass would be fired. Now hurry up and get out of my face before I mess up yours!" he yelled with a final push.

"Yes Donald," Tori replied trying desperately not to let him see the tears that she could feel welling up in her eyes.

Tori quickly walked towards the bathroom with tears already starting to fall from her big brown eyes. As she turned the corner she bumped into someone causing her to fall to the floor.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz. Are you all right?" Tori asked. Just as she was about to ask if they were all right again, she looked up.

"Hello..."

Tori didn't reply. She just sat there, staring up at AJ. All of a sudden, she started to cry uncontrollably.

AJ was dumbfounded. He didn't know what to do. He certainly didn't expect this, for her to cry. So he did the only thing that he could think of, he picked her up and carried her to his car.

Tori was almost hysterical with sobs, as AJ continued to carry her to his rental car. Once he reached his vehicle he gently sat her down on the hood of the car and rapidly ran to open the passenger side door. As soon as it was open he picked Tori up once again, put her softly in the seat, and shut the door. He jogged around to the other side and got in, shutting the door hurriedly behind himself.

AJ sat in the car for a moment, just listening to Tori's sobs. Suddenly he turned to her.

"Why?" AJ asked.

Tori looked up. "Why what?" she questioned.

"Why a lot of things! Why did you leave Howie like that? Why didn't you at least let him know that you were all right after you left? Why are you here? Why did you run away, especially on you way down the aisle? If something was wrong, why did you just say something instead or running away? Why were you crying like that? Why?!"

"I...I don't know," Tori said as tears were fiercely falling down her cheeks.

"That's not a good answer. Come on you have to know something." AJ sighed. "At least tell me why you were crying when we ran into each other."

"It's none of your concern. Why are you here anyway?" Tori said.

"We're on vacation. Tori, you used to be able to tell me anything. What happened to you? What's so wrong that you can't even look me in the eye?" AJ said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Tori looked up, with tears in her eyes, and gazed into AJ's. "Can you take me home, AJ? I don't want to be here when I tell you." Tori said.

AJ turned on the car and started driving towards the exit. "Uh, where do you live?"

Tori gave him instructions on how to get to her house. There was an uneasy silence in the car. AJ turned on the radio.


"I don't know, what he does to make you cry / But I'll be there to make you smile / I don't have, a fancy car / To get to you I'd walk a thousand miles..."

As they pulled up to her house, AJ noticed that Tori's tears had ceased.

"Do you wanna come in?" Tori asked.

"Ok," AJ said as he turned the car off.

As AJ and Tori walked up the steps of the small town house AJ started to look at the surroundings. It wasn't exactly the worst of neighborhoods but it definitely wasn't the best either.

Tori began to dig for her keys when the door flew open.

"Where the HELL have you been! Do you know I almost called the cops looking for you?! You're never late! I almost had a heart attack!!"

"I'm sorry Kat, I got a little...uh, sidetracked," Tori said hinting towards AJ.

Kathy finally took notice of AJ and checked him out. She noticed that he was noticing her as well.
(AN: I know that's cheesy, but hey, you can't do anything about it! haha, now back to the story.)

AJ stared at the 5'2" girl. She was skinny, but not model thin. She had shoulder length brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Ok, well whenever you two stop gawking at each other I'll introduce you," Tori said. They both immediately looked down at the ground and all of a sudden found cement to be very interesting.

"Kathy Reed, this is AJ. AJ McLean, this is Kat. Now can we go inside?"

Kathy stepped to the side and allowed them to enter, watching AJ as he walked through the hallway leading to the living room. She thought to herself, 'Damn what a fine body, there is a god, and AJ is his namo!' Kathy smiled at her own thoughts and shut the door.

As they walked through the hallway and came into the living room, AJ looked at his surroundings once again. 'This is nicer than I thought it would be in a neighborhood like this,' AJ thought to himself.

"Uh, Kathy, would you mind going over Mike's for awhile, I have to talk to AJ alone," Tori said to Kathy.

"Yeah sure." Kathy turned and grabbed her keys off of the table in the kitchen and started out. "Oh yeah," she said as she opened the front door, "I already fed Gabs so you're gonna have to change her in a while."

"Alright, and thanks for watching her for me."

"You're welcome, I'll call you later. It was nice meeting you AJ. Bye!" Kathy said as she closed the door behind her.

Just as she closed the door, a baby could be heard crying in one of the back rooms. Tori quickly walked towards the room.

'It couldn't be her baby could it? If it is, than Howie would be crushed to find out she had a kid by some other guy,' AJ thought.

While AJ was thinking, Tori came into the living room with a baby girl in her arms. She walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

"Hey J, you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied.

"Well come in here and see if there's anything that you want."

AJ got up and walked into the lightly lit kitchen. "Well let's see, we got milk..."

"You don't want that milk, trust me," Tori said.

"Why's that?" AJ asked.

"It's breast milk."

"Ok, so we don't have milk! Uh, there's Pepsi, Coke, orange juice, uuhhhh, I'll just have some Pepsi," he concluded.

"Can you hand it to me? My hands are kind of full," she said, hinting towards the now sleeping baby in her arms.

"Yeah sure."

Tori got a glass out of one of the cabinets and set it on the counter.

"I'll do it, don't worry about it" AJ said as he began to pour.

"Thanks."

"No problem. She's cute, what's her name?" he asked, nodding his head towards the baby.

"Gabrielle Marie."

AJ stopped pouring. "You know, that's the name Howie wants his first girl to have," he said as he walked back to the refrigerator and put the bottle back inside.

"I know. That's why I named her that."

"So she is yours?"

Tori nodded her head.

"So did you just name her that or is she...?"

Tori again nodded her head.

"You mean she's...?" AJ started again

"She's Howie's," she finished for him.

"Did you know you were pregnant when you left?"

"No, I thought that I might have been, but I didn't find out till two months after."

"And I'm guessing that Howie doesn't know either."

"No, he doesn't, and you can't tell him either. I'll tell him myself when I get the chance to," Tori said.

"When will that be?" AJ asked.

"I don't know, maybe the next time I see him."

"He's here. We're in a small Inn on vacation. It's just him and me. You could tell him now."

"NO! AJ, I can't, not today, not here." Tori said with a panicked look on her face.

"Why not? What's wrong? Tell me Tori," AJ said.

Tori walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She put Gabrielle on her stomach lying down on the couch, where she could see her. AJ followed and sat down on the floor in front of Tori and grabbed her hands.

"I'm here for you, I always have been, and I always will be. Tell me what's wrong."

Tori took a deep breath. "Ok, AJ, I'll tell you."

(AN: Special thanks to Anita who's been reviewing like crazy! Thank you so much, and to everyone else who's reviewed, i appreciate it immensely)

Tori picked up the sleeping baby and walked into the nursery to lay her down. She made sure that she was covered by a blanket, and then kissed her on the forehead.

"Oh my god, Tori I had no idea. Why don't you just quit?" AJ said.

"I tried. I even moved away, but he found me and dragged me back here, by my hair, literally."

"But weren't you...?"

"Pregnant? Yes I was. I think that I was about seven months then. AJ you should have seen him, the look on his face. I thought he was going to kill me. Well he didn't obviously, but he messed me up pretty badly. I was in the hospital for two days before he had me discharged and put me to work in the storage room, so no one could see me, but Kathy came in and found me and brought me here. I've been living with her ever since," she finished.

"Are you and the baby alright? I mean physically are you ok now?" AJ asked

"Well Gabby is fine, I honestly don't know how she wasn't somehow hurt during that time. I do know one thing though. If I quit, he'll do it again, and this time he told me that he wasn't going to let me off as 'easily' as he did before."

AJ stood up and started to pace back and forth, occasionally running his hand through his red tipped hair out of frustration.

"What's the matter?" Tori asked finally.

"What do you mean 'what's the matter'? We must find a way to get you and Gabby away from here. I gotta think," AJ started.

"AJ."

"Maybe you can move back to Orlando with Howie. Nah, that won't work."

"AJ."

"Knowing Howie, it'll have to wait awhile before he can fully accept this whole thing. So you'll have to stay with one of the guys, or with me. Maybe Leighanne will let you stay with her."

"AJ."

"Oh I forgot you two don't even know each other. Well..."

"AJ!!" Tori shouted.

"What?"

"I'm not going anywhere. Like I said, he'll find me, and there's nothing you, Howie, or anyone can do to stop him. He's a mad man."

"That's all the more reason for you to leave and come back with us."

Tori closed her eyes and sighed. 'As bull-headed as ever, still.'

Howie walked a block from the Inn. Every so often he would slow down and look back, just to make sure that it was still in sight. He sighed to himself, which seemed to happen a lot. He once again glanced back to see the Inn, realizing that he could only see a little speck where the Inn was.

Sighing to himself again, he began his journey back, the whole way wondering, "Why?"

It occurred to him that no one knew who he was, or if they did, they didn't care. Despite how much he loved his fans, he felt that it wasn't one of the best times to be a Backstreet Boy.

Howie walked on and on, the questions growing and getting louder with every breath of air he inhaled. Amongst the many that were floating around in his mind, there were a few that repeated themselves. "When will I be able to let this go?"

People looked up as he came into the lobby. Howie barely looked up to acknowledge anyone else's presence, as he ascended the stairs on his way to his and AJ's room.

Once he closed and locked the door, he nonchalantly started to get ready for bed. As soon as he lay down, he pulled the covers over him. He stared at the ceiling, as the questions slowly started to come back into his mind.

Howie closed his eyes and sighed.

"AJ," Tori said with a sigh. "I appreciate your concern, and I would love to come back to Orlando with you and Howie. God knows I'd love it, but things just aren't that easy. We both know that Howie won't accept this that easily, especially when adding Gabby into the mix. He hates me. Not to mention the fact that Donald will undoubtedly come looking for me and Gabby."

"I know but..." AJ started to say. "Shh," Tori interrupted, placing her fingers over his lips. "I know you want to help me and Gabby..." AJ responded with a nod. "But you must understand that no matter what, no matter how far away you take us, no matter how hard you try, he will try his damnedest to get his 'property' back," she finished as she took her fingers away from his soft lips.

AJ looked into her eyes, and almost shivered at what he saw in them. He saw absolute despair, loneliness, regret, and brokenness. He felt that his heart would break at the emotions he saw in her eyes. This woman, no matter how much he disliked the fact that she hurt his best friend, did not deserve what had been done to her. He felt the familiar twitch of need to make her happy again. The one that he had always felt since the moment he’d met her so many years ago. He had no doubt in his mind that he would have made a move on her if she hadn't showed interest in his Latin friend.

~Flashback: Spring, 1997~

"Hey Tori, what's up?" AJ said as he sat down next to her. When he didn't get a response he looked over at her. "Yo!" he said as he nudged her with his left elbow.

"Huh! Oh, hey, J, what's up?" Tori said shaking her head slightly to clear the thoughts from her head.

"That's what I want to know. What are you looking at?" he said, following her gaze. It landed on his best friend. 'Damn,' he thought. "Ah...I see," he said forlornly.

~End Flashback~

AJ sighed. "I swear to you, I will help you get away from that bastard, and I'll also help you and Howie get back together," he said without a lack of conviction in his voice.

Tori smiled at him. "Thank you."

(An: Thank you to Frackandbonechick and Sweet18_2003 for the wonderful reviews!)


“No Aj, I don’t feel like it. You can go, I’ll be ok here by myself, I am a grown man ya know.” He said exasperatedly.

“I know that Howie, but you need to quit moping around and have some fun. Isn’t that what vacation is about?” Aj said equally as irritated.

“It’s also about relaxing.” Howie responded.

“Come on D. There’s this cool night spot I found, and I want you to come check it out with me? Please, you’ve been brooding around ever since we arrived here.”

Howie sighed.

“Please D. If you don’t like it, you can stay here and do whatever you like for the rest of the trip ok?” he pleaded again.

Howie sighed again.

“All right Aj.”

“Good, I promise you D. you’ll have a good time.” ‘Or at least an interesting time’ he thought to himself.

“Is that where you were last night?” Howie said looking for something suitable to wear.

“Yeah, I had….an interesting time so to speak.”

Howie raised his eyebrows at Aj’s comment, but didn’t question his friend. ‘Knowing Aj, tonight will definitely be eccentric.’ He thought to himself.

“So what’s the name of the place we’re going to?” Howie asked.

“The Memnoch.” Was Aj’s simple reply.

“Hmm, sounds fascinating enough. What’s with the smirk man?” Howie questioned after glancing at his friend.

“Nothing Howie, nothing.”

As they entered the club Howie took a good look around ‘Not bad’ he thought to himself. Aj took him to a table against the upper level gate.

“Hey man, aren’t we gonna dance?” Howie asked as Aj took a seat at the table.

“Yea sure… but later though.” Than he mumbled to himself, “If you haven’t passed out by than.”

“What?”

“Nothing man…” Aj said.

Howie looked at Aj warily than continued to look around the club. Just as he was about to question Aj once more, the lights began to dim, and everyone on the dance floor stopped moving and looked to the stage. As a man, who Howie assumed to be the manager, walked to the mic in the middle of the stage, Howie turned to ask Aj about what was happening, but Aj continued looking forward towards the stage. Sighing, Howie turned his attention to the man.


“Ladies and gentlemen… I give you, once again, Ms. Darlene.” The man said as he backed away from the microphone.

The woman, wearing a blue wrap-around skirt and a black halter-top, came out onto the stage and walked over to the piano and sat down. She quickly glanced over the crowd and saw Aj on the upper level. She refused to look or acknowledge that there was someone seated with him, but in her mind… she knew.

”I keep on falling…
in,
in love.
With you.
Sometimes I love ya,
sometimes you make me blue.
Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used.
Loving you darlin’ makes me so confused.
I keep on falling, in and out, of love with you.
I never, loved someone, the way that I, love you.
I, I, I…never felt this way.
How do ya give me so much pleasure…
and cause me so much pain?
Just when I think, I’ve taken more than would a fool,
I start falling back in love with you.
I keep on falling, in and out, of love with you.
I never, loved someone, the way that I, love you.”

As she continued to sing, Aj glanced at Howie to see his reaction, but he remained in the same position he was in before she started.

Howie didn’t know what to think. A million thoughts and questions ran rapid through his mind. But one amongst the millions came forward first.

“Why?”

Aj looked at him.

”Why what man?”

”Why did you bring me here?” Howie asked still staring at Tori on the stage.

”I… thought you wanted to find her, so when I saw her here, I brought you to her.”

Howie sighed and bent over and put his head in his hands. ‘Oh god… what am I supposed to do?’ he thought to himself.

“Howie? I’m sorry, if you want to go, we’ll go.” Aj said trying to console him.

“No.” he said looking up at her. “We’ll stay. If for anything to ask her why.”

Aj sighed and nodded. He looked up as the crowd erupted into applause. Tori had finished, taken a slight bow, and left the stage.

“Come on man… let’s go.”

Howie looked at him.

”Where are we going? I thought you brought me here to talk to Tori?”

”You will… just not yet.” Aj responded while standing up.

Aj led Howie back out to his rented car where he drove silently to their final destination.

Tori tugged her jacket tighter to her as she walked home after her shift was over at The Memnoch. She winced slightly and her hand came in contact with the fresh new bruise on her arm and side. Sighing she turned the corner and onto the street on which she and her baby lived.

‘How’d my life get so screwed up so fast? These passed few years have flown by so quickly. I’m not married to Howie like I should be, and Gaby’s never even met her father… and my boss hates me because I know too much, and yet he won’t let me go. Now the father of my child is going to meet his daughter for the first time, and he’s going to hate me too. I just hope that he doesn’t try to take her away from me… I don’t know what I’d do if he did that.’

Upon approaching her building she recognized Aj’s car from the night before and sighed. ‘Oh great, that means that Howie’s with him too…’ she thought to herself. ‘Damn that Aj. Well… this should be interesting.’

She unlocked the door and entered her apartment and she was met with a sight that she never thought she’d see…

“Hi.”

“Hi! About time you came home… I was wondering if you would ever show up.”

”Sorry Kathy. I was just thinking… and I thought I told you and Mike to not make out in the hallway anymore… I don’t want to see that as soon as I walk in.” Tori said taking off her coat.

Kathy rolled her eyes, while her boyfriend blushed.

“Yea yea, anyways, that guy Aj is here with a friend… they’re in the kitchen.”

“So I guess you’ll be leaving now, right?” Tori said.

”Yes. See ya,” Kathy responded as she drug Mike out the door.

Sighing Tori took a deep breath. She walked, almost hesitantly, passed the living room and into the kitchen. She first saw Aj sitting atop of the kitchen counter. As she looked to his right, she gasped.







There stood Howie… holding Gaby.

Tori stood there staring at the sight before her. Never in her life had she seen such a wonderful scene. All too quickly though, she realized that life was not that simple. Sighing, she put her purse down and waited for the inevitable argument that was sure to follow his long glance at her.

“She’s beautiful.” He finally said softly.

With tears in her eyes she nodded. “Yes… she is.” She responded just as soft.

“Have a seat… we need to talk.”

Tori acquiesced and sat down. ‘Here it comes…’ she thought to herself.

Howie sighed and also sat down across from her, and next to Aj. Rocking the sleeping baby he began.

”Were you ever going to tell me that I had a child?”

“Of course I was Howie.”

“When was that gonna be? After she got engaged and you needed money for the wedding?” he remarked snidely.

“I… I don’t know when, but I was going to tell you. I swear.” She whispered.

Howie sighed.

“Well you’re not gonna try to keep her from me from now on, right?”

Tori simply nodded her reply. Howie sighed again, this time with relief.

“Good. Well you obviously can’t stay here, you’ll have to come back to Florida with us.”

Tori’s head snapped up in alarm. She looked at Aj.

”You didn’t tell him?”

Aj merely shook his head no. “I was gonna let you tell him.”

Tori sighed and ran her hand through her hair nervously.

Howie, noticing the nervous gesture, looked back and forth between the two of them. “Tell me what? What’s going on here? What do you have to tell me?” he said, now looking directly at Tori.

She swallowed hard. “I can’t leave, and I can’t go with you to Florida, you can take Gaby… but not me.”

“What? Why the hell not? You don’t wanna come?”

“NO! That’s not it at all…” she cried.

“Than what is it?”

Sighing, Tori began to tell him, what she had told Aj the night before.

“It all started before I met you guys…”

(AN: I know you all are wondering what happened… and here’s the chapter that reveals all. FINALLY!!! Sorry to have been keeping you waiting for so long. Thanks for reading, keep R&R!)


Tori sighed and began her story.

”It all started before I met you guys. I was involved with this guy named Corey. At first he was sweet and nice… but he wasn’t really. He was just using me… to get to you.” She said looking at Howie.

“Me? What the hell did he want with me?” Howie asked slightly shocked.

”What do you think? He wanted me to marry you… so that I could milk money from you for a few months up to a year… than I’d divorce you and take you to the cleaners.”

Slightly hurt he asked softly, “You were gonna marry me for my money?”

Tori looked down ashamedly and nodded.

”Yea, I was. Back then I would have done anything for him… and I did. We didn’t have much, and he always wanted more than we could ever have. So… he came up with this scheme to get rich quick.” Sighing she stood up and began pacing, ringing her hand nervously.

”I figured that it would be like his other schemes, that all failed miserably. God… the things I’ve done for him…” Shivering with the thoughts her memories bought, she continued.

“So we started on this scheme where I went to work for you guys and he’d always be near by. We both thought that it would be pretty easy, but that was before I got to know you, and the guys. You all were so sweet, and kind and trusting. I just started to love you… all of you…” She said gesturing wildly, than stopped and looked at Howie. “…But I fell IN love with you. And that’s where the trouble started.”

”What trouble? What happened?”

”Well… after I figured out that I loved you… I knew I couldn’t do that to you… hell I knew I couldn’t before than. Since I couldn’t do the job… I became a liability. I knew what he was planning to do, and I knew that if I didn’t do the job, that he’d just get someone else to take my place, so he couldn’t have me possibly telling you about his plans. By that time, you had proposed to me, so… he began to blackmail me. He threatened to do things… terrible, horrible things, but worst of all he threatened to tell you everything and he told me that you and the guys could never still want me to be apart of your group if you knew the truth about me. And he threatened to do it, at our wedding.” She said sighing. “I was stupid and didn’t believe that he’d do that… so… I went ahead with our plans. But… at the ceremony… I saw him. Sitting right up front. I didn’t know what to do, so… I ran.”

”That’s why you ran away?” Howie asked incredulously.

Tori simply nodded and sat back down.

”Well why can’t you come back with us than? Now that we know, he can’t hold it over your head anymore.”

Sighing she said, “That’s not all.”

Howie looked at her in amazement. “There’s more? What else is there?”

Tori sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I told you, he threatened me. He considered me his property and no one else’s. I had already suspected that I might have been pregnant and if he’d have found that out… there would have been definite hell to pay.”

Howie continued to look at her disbelievingly. “He would have hurt you when you were pregnant?”

Tori nodded. “And he still will hurt me… and Gaby.”

Howie gazed at the sleeping baby in his arms and held her protectively close.

”He has someone to keep tabs on me… to make sure that I stay away from you and the others, and also that I don’t go running back to you. That’s why I’m working at that place… the owner is my ‘watcher’. If he finds out that you two are here… and that you’re trying to take me away… god only knows what he’ll do. Then he’ll tell Corey.” Tori continued.

Exhaling noisily, Howie looked up at her. “We have bodyguards… we can protect you and Gaby, Tori.”

Shaking her head, Tori responded, “No… I don’t know whom Corey possibly has on the inside. He’s got connections everywhere. It could be anyone… and what if it’s one of your bodyguards? Then what would happen? It’s too risky.”

“Then what can we do?” Howie asked exasperatedly.

Tori merely shrugged sadly. “There’s nothing you can do.”

Howie sighed heavily.

Tori looked up at him, after a few minutes had gone by. “Howie… I-I want you to take Gaby.”

He looked up at her. “Take her? What do you mean take her?”

Aj glared at her. “No! I’m not leaving you here to be abused by that man any more! So you can just forget that idea.”

“WE’RE not leaving you here, Tori.” Howie added.

Tori exhaled noisily. “Guys, this is for the best… I’ve kept her away from Howie long enough, and now it’s your time with her. Maybe I’ll be able to get away for a few days… who knows.” She said uncertainly.

Aj stood abruptly. “NO! It’s not gonna happen so just drop it.”

Howie looked at him strangely. ‘What is up with him? Why does he care so much? I should be the one shouting. Unless…’ Howie shook his head of his thoughts. ‘Nah… he couldn’t.’ “He’s right Tori, it’s not gonna happen.”

Tiredly, Tori rubbed her temples and sighed. Howie watched her silently and then began to rock Gaby in his arms again, sighing also.

Aj observed the two sitting in silence, debating whether he should comfort Tori like he wanted to, or take Gaby and leave the estranged couple to work it out for themselves. Giving into his heart, he made his way over to Tori and squatted in front of her.

“Tori… look, I’m sorry for yelling at you. But… I meant what I said. There’s no way in hell I’m… we’re gonna leave you here to endure this anymore.” Stroking her hair softly and taking her hand in his, he continued. “We’ll find a way to get you and Gaby outta here… I swear.”

Tori gazed into his eyes as he spoke, and swore that she could see something that looked like more than the pity she thought he simply felt for her. It looked like… ‘Nah… it couldn’t be.’ She dismissed quickly. She smiled softly at him.

”Thank you.”

~*~

Smirking vilely, he turned around and crept back to his black unmarked van that was parked a ways down the street.

“The boss ought to be real pleased to hear about her little visitors.” He whispered to himself with a leer as he drove off into the night to relay the information to his boss.

(AN: In honor of Aj's birthday, i decided to update this story. I'm also updating Dear Howie, so enjoy and review!! Happy Birthday Aj!)


Howie got up and took Gaby to her crib and laid her down gently. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the feelings of resentment he felt when Aj went to ‘his’ girlfriend. ‘Whoa… when’d she become my girlfriend again? And why am I jealous? Aj’s not interested in her like that… is he? Nah… couldn’t be. But… then why is he always so touchy feely with her? And why is he so protective all of a sudden? He always was… but never to this extent!’

Howie’s private contemplation was interrupted when he heard a soft knock on the door. He looked up to see Aj looking at him. ‘Is that guilt I see in his eyes?’ Howie quickly shook his head of the thoughts.

“Yea J?”

”I just uh… wanted to see if you were ok. You got up and left kinda suddenly. Is something wrong?”

Howie sighed and shook his head.

”Besides everything Tori just told me? No… everything’s just peachy.” He retorted.

Aj sighed and sat in the rocking chair in front of Howie.

“Look… I’m sorry… that was a stupid question…” Howie snorted. Aj continued. “but don’t snap at me ok?”

Howie sighed.

”I’m sorry J.”

Aj nodded and sighed.

“What are we gonna do?”

Howie shrugged. “I don’t know Aj. She’s too afraid to let us do anything. I think we should just take her and run for it. But we should get the guys to help us… she already refused us. She can’t refuse all of us.”

Aj nodded and smiled a little.

“She never could.”

~*~

“WHAT?!?”

The man flinched as his boss screamed and nodded. ‘There’s going to be hell to pay. Thank god I’m not on the receiving end of it.’

“So… the little bitch has her friends again, huh?” Corey said as he paced back and forth.

The masked man had never been so still in his life he decided to himself. He ached from holding the tight subservient position for so long, yet he dared not move an inch. Fearful of what could possibly happen if he distracted his boss during his tirade.

“And just what are they planning to do?”

“I don’t know boss… as soon as I saw them with the girl I came directly to you, just like you said.” he replied.

“Hmm… well… you’ll just have to find out what their plans are now won’t you?” Corey said as his gaze bored into his.

“Y-yes sir.”

“NOW!”

The man scurried out the door.

~*~


Howie stood there watching her for a minute. Everything about her, he found, he still loved with every fiber of his being. He even loved the way she breathed. Sighing shakily, he walked over to her and sat beside her on the couch.

Tori looked at him, remembering all the reasons she fell in love with him the moment she laid eyes on him. She found herself wondering what would have been if she hadn’t run away.

“I missed you.” He said softly, as he lightly brushed her hair away from her face.

“I missed you too.” She whispered back, leaning into his hand unconsciously.

He smiled.

~*~

Aj sighed and walked back into Gaby’s room. ‘I should have known. I can’t compete with what they once had. I shouldn’t even try. What kind of friend am I to be thinking the thoughts I have been?’ Sighing again, sadly, he shut the door quietly, leaving them to their privacy.

The phone rang suddenly, bringing Howie and Tori out of their moment of reminisce. Tori sighed and picked it up.

”Hello? H-how did you get this number?” Tori looked up at Howie as Aj entered the room and sat down on the chair in front of them. “Ok.” She proceeded to put the phone down on the base and put it on speaker phone.

”Howie? J?”

Howie let out a breath, relieved.

”Yea Kev… we’re here. Are Nick and Brian there?”

”Yea. We got you on speaker phone too.” Brian answered.

”Ok, so let’s get started.” Nick said abruptly.

Tori looked at both of them then to the phone. “Get started with what?”

”The convincing of you.” Howie said simply.

”The convincing of me? To do what?”

”To get you to come to back with us, and to let us handle this together.” AJ responded.

Tori looked at them with her mouth open. “You… that’s not fair! You all can’t just gang up on me like this…”

They smiled.

”Oh yes we can… and we are.”

~*~

”I still can’t believe you did that to me…” Tori said.

Howie and AJ just continued to smile.

”Told ya it would work.” AJ said. Tori glared at him. He just kept smiling.

Tori sighed and got up.

”I’m tired… are you guys staying?”

They looked at each other.

”I guess we could.” Howie said.

She nodded. “Well you guys can either have the couch, or sleep in Kathy’s room.”

~*~

He parked his black pickup truck a good distance from the home… and proceeded to sneak up to it. He peeked in each of the windows around the house, to make sure that there was no one still up and about that could possibly catch him, or foul up his plans.

Once he was certain that there was no one still awake and moving around, he carefully lifted one of the easier, looser windows and slipped inside.

Tonight… the boss’s lady was gonna get a surprise.

AJ awoke and stretched, looking at the clock. 'Damn, only two AM,' he thought, standing and rubbing his arms. He put his shirt and jeans back on and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He poured himself a glass and drank it, setting it upside down in the dish drainer.

Walking back into the living room, he saw a figure in the hallway, but knew that one of them couldn't have been Howie. He could see him sleeping on the floor.

AJ hid behind the wall and watched as the tall figure made his way into Tori’s room. AJ cursed under his breath and ran to Howie, shaking him.

"Howie, wake up, man..." he whispered.

“What?” Howie said sleepily.

“Someone’s in the house, and just went into Tori’s room! I can’t take him by myself he’s too big.”

Howie immediately started to get up, but the tall figure silently crept back out, carrying her. He put Tori on the chair closest to the front door and set her down on it gently. The man opened the door and went outside to his truck to open the doors.
The two quickly came up with a plan and they hid, waiting for the man to come back. As he stepped in the doorway, AJ broke a nearby vase over his head, knocking him out and to the floor and they tied him up quickly. AJ called the police while Howie held Tori, stroking her hair softly, trying to wake her up. She woke and looked around, confused.

"Howie?" she whispered.

"Shh, sweetheart..."

"Why am I out here? What happened?"

AJ hung up the phone and sat across from them. "Some guy broke in the house and was trying to kidnap you."

~*~

The police came and went and the three decided that it was best to focus on the events that were to come. They still had a long road in front of them.

He watched her as she fed Gabby. He still couldn’t believe that she was a mother, although she did always try to look after everyone.

He smiled. Watching how she and Gabby reacted to one another he could see how much they loved each other.

He watched as she picked Gabrielle up and took her to her crib to be laid down for her nap. As she came back out he smiled at her, and she smiled back.

He stood and took her hand in his. He gently pulled her towards him. She went to him willingly, with a gently smile on her face, and a slight questioning look in her dark brown eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, until she was pressed gently against him. He smiled as he felt her shiver slightly from the contact. He looked deep into her eyes as he gently stroked her face. He watched as she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch.

He knew that he probably shouldn’t have been doing this, but he couldn’t hold his feelings back any longer. She looked at him, lovingly, and it was his undoing.

No holding back any longer.

She watched as he seemed to come to an internal decision. She saw the love in his eyes, and it was all for her. She couldn’t believe that a man like him could love her so much, but she knew in her heart that he did.

She felt so alive when he pressed her against his body. She knew this was right.

And then he kissed her. She swore the world fell from under her feet. She wanted more, and the kiss slowly built in intensity until she knew that there was no stopping.

He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He lay down with her and once again pulled her close to him. They kissed again until they were both breathless. He massaged her hips and smiled when she moaned softly. He kissed and sucked on her neck, and she moaned more.

Slowly he brought his hands up under her shirt. She shivered as she felt his hands slide up her stomach. His hands moved to her sides as they continued upward. He moaned internally at finding that she had on nothing underneath the shirt. He gently pulled her shirt off and licked his lips as his eyes wandered over her.

She made him sit up and she took his shirt off as well. He smiled and he laid her back and lay between her legs. He kissed her deeply again and slowly unfastened her jeans. As he slid them off he brushed his knuckles lightly against her legs. Once they were off he took his off as well.

He lay on top of her and they moaned softly at the skin to skin contact. He took her hands in his and kissed her deeply as he entered her.

They made love slowly and passionately until they collapsed in exhaustion. The held each other and fell into a peaceful slumber.

~*~

As they lay there unaware of his presence, he slowly slipped back into the living room wiping a tear away. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but it hurt much more then he thought would.

The guys looked up at him as he came into the living room.

“Where’s Tori? Did you tell her that we’re here yet?” Nick asked.

“She’s… sleep.” He said softly.

Kevin looked at him as he sat down across from him and the others.

“What happened, J?” he asked.

AJ looked back up at them.

“What do you mean?”

“Yea, man you’re all… I don’t know you just look upset about something.” Nick said as Brian and Kevin nodded in agreement.

AJ sighed and looked at his hands.

“It’s nothing.” He said softly.

The guys looked at each other, knowing that he was lying.

He sighed again.

“Howie and Tori are in there sleep… they’re back together now.”

“Oh.” Brian said softly. “And you’re not ok with that…?”

“It’s not that I’m not ok with it… it’s just…” AJ started.

“It’s just that what? You don’t like her any more?”

“No, it’s not that. She’s wonderful as usual.”

“As usual…? Ohhh…” Kevin said.

AJ looked at him. “What?”

“You don’t have feelings for her, do you?” Kevin asked.

AJ looked down. “Wouldn’t that be stupid? Tori and Howie have always been together.”

“Not always J, and that had nothing to do with how you feel. So how do you feel about her?” Brian asked.

“I… I love her…” AJ confessed quietly.

Nick, Brian, and Kevin looked at each other slightly shocked.

“I have for a long time, but by the time I figured it out, she was head over heals in love with Howie, and him for her. There was nothing I could do.” He further explained.

The guys nodded. There always had been great chemistry between Howie and Tori for as long as they could remember.

“How come you never said anything to one of us J? You know we would have helped you in any way we could have.” Brian said.

“And what would you have done Bri? She’s never been interested in me that way. It’s always been Howie for her. She even told me so once.”

They sighed realizing he was right.

“Don’t worry about me guys. They’re happy together, and I’m not gonna do anything to mess that up, or my friendship with them both.” AJ said softly.

‘Even if I want to.’ he thought to himself.

~*~

Tori yawned as she woke up the next morning. When she tried to sit up she realized that she was being held down by dead weight. She looked up and smiled at the sight of Howie sleeping soundly. ‘I can’t believe I’m in his arms again.’ She sighed softly and stayed in his arms for a minute longer, simply enjoying the moment.

Howie tightened his hold on her as he began to awaken.

“I don’t want to move.” He said softly, knowing that she was awake.

“Me either.”

“We’ll have to eventually.”

“I know.” She said regretfully.

He held her tighter and gently ran his thumb in a circle on her lower back. Tori’s eyes drifted shut as she shivered. Howie smiled softly.

“That still gets to you, huh?” he said as he continued to do it.

She nodded silently and bit her lip to keep her from making a sound. Howie kept doing it and began to nuzzle her neck tenderly. She moaned softly.

“Howie… god you know what that does to me.”

Howie nodded silently and began to kisses her neck lightly.

“I know…”

Suddenly a loud noise made the two jump apart quickly. The phone rang. Taking a deep breath, Tori answered the phone. Howie sat and watched her, listening to her side of the conversation.

“Hello... oh, hi… yes… but you said I could have tonight off…yes… yes I understand.”

“Who was that?” He asked after she hung up the phone.

“Donald… I have to work tonight.”

~*~

Donald smirked as he hung up the phone. He picked it up again and dialed.

“Yea… she’s comin’ in tonight, boss. I’ll make sure to get her by herself.”

~*~

Tori and Howie made their way into the kitchen to see Aj drinking a glass of water.

“What do you guys want for breakfast?”

”Whatever you want to fix us?” Aj supplied.

Tori just looked at him.

”All right, all right, geez… how about some pancakes and sausage?” She nodded and turned around to make them.

“Uh, Tor… you might want to make a few extra pancakes.”

“Why?”

Just then a blonde head poked his head in.

“Cause I don’t know about the Kentucky cousins, but I sure as hell ain’t just eating one pancake.”

After breakfast, the six of them gathered in the living room. Kevin, Brian, and Nick all settled down on the couch, while Aj settled on the loveseat opposite of them. Howie sat down on the chair between the couch and loveseat and pulled Tori down on his lap. Aj watched this and sighed softly to himself.

“Ok… so what do we know?” Nick asked.

“Nothing really. I don’t know where he’s operating from. I don’t know what he’s planning on doing, or if he knows that you all are here yet. What am I going to do? I can’t go to work, they’ll kill me!” Tori said.

“We know Tori, don’t worry, you’re not going in. At least not without one of us being with you.” Kevin replied.

“She shouldn’t go in at all!” Aj exclaimed. “That guy has to know we’re here by now, because we thwarted his plans of kidnapping her.”

“Aj’s right. We can’t let her go in. Besides, we wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on her all the time, it is a club after all, and I’m not willing to take that risk.” Howie said holding Tori closer.

“So then what do we do?” Brian asked. “We can’t just do nothing.”

“Why don’t we just take her and Gabby back to Florida right now?” Nick suggested.

“They’ll just follow me there Nick.” Tori responded.

“I know, but at least we’ll be on familiar territory. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any of us know our way around here very well. Nor do we know anyone around here.”

Tori sighed. “You do have a point. What do you guys think?” She asked looking at them.

The others nodded.

“Where will I go though?”

Howie looked at her.

“You’ll stay with me.” Aj said suddenly.

Howie looked at him strangely for a minute. “I think it’ll be better if she stays with me.”

Tori looked between them and absently nodded her head. “Yeah… I think staying with Howie is ok, thanks anyway though Aj.” She said softly, trying to ease the unexpected tension that Aj’s outburst had created.

Aj nodded. “Yeah… of course. I was just trying to help ya know.” He said quietly.

Brian, Nick, and Kevin glanced at each other, knowing there was more behind Aj’s sudden statement than he wanted to reveal.

“So how soon are we going to move me back down there to Orlando?” Tori asked.

“As soon as possible.” Howie answered right away.

“But there’s so much to be done. I have to pack me and Gabby up. I have to get all my information transferred back down there, and…”

“Shh…” Howie said putting his fingers over her lips. “We’ll take care of all that. Won’t we guys?”

“Yeah, of course we will. Don’t worry about a thing ok?” Kevin said. The others nodded in agreement with him.

Tori smiled softly. “You guys are so good to me. How can I ever possibly begin to thank you?”

Brian smiled. “How about you make us some of your famous pecan pie and homemade iced tea for starters?”