Paris saw him leaning against the wall of the building, smoking a cigarette. When he saw her, he dropped his smoke and stamped it out with the sole of his shoe.

“That’s going to ruin your voice,” she told him sagely.

“Not yet,” he shrugged. “I came to talk about last night.”

“What happened last night?” she asked, acting clueless.

“You can’t just pull out an eraser and erase all those things that happened last night, you know.”

She shrugged. Maybe she could, maybe she couldn’t. Who was he to know? *Your best friend?*

“Fine. So, are you seeing anyone right now?”

He didn’t like to beat around the bush. That was what she liked about him. Used to like about him, she reminded herself. At least until he pulled that stunt last night.

“I don’t really know. You?”

“I don’t really know either.”

“Back on that anti-monogamy phase, huh?”

He felt a smile creep onto his face. They had known each other for so long. She knew all the phases he had gone through, his likes and dislikes. He knew her like the back of his hand.

“Hey, don’t change the subject to me. I asked you first.”

“We’re back in 7th grade now?”

He smirked.

“Anyway, I heard you’re dating that blond chick.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Oh, just in these things called magazines and the World Wide Web. You’re not exactly an anonymous guy, you know.”

“I am to everyone except you.”

“You do realize that that line was straight from Hallmark.”

He made a face at her. Then, his face turned somber again. She felt a pang when she realized that she missed the little kid that was hidden behind that face. He almost never acted like that anymore.

“That was a while ago. Anyway, I only dated her because she had the same name as you.”

“…”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s okay. I was the one who brought it up, after all.”

“Paris…”

“Let’s – just be friends again first, okay? I really need the time right now.”

“You know I’ll always be your friend, Kid.”

He smiled that ‘kid’ smile at her again. She couldn’t help but smile back.

“Let’s get coffee or something. It’s fucking cold here. What the hell possessed you to stay in New York City during winter?”

Shut up while you’re ahead,” she advised him.

He gave her that smile again. And she smiled right back.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come along?” her Mom asked, a slight frown on her forehead.

Paris nodded firmly.

“Okay. Have a good day, honey,” her Mom said after she had kissed her on the cheek.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Okay, you’re all set. Go make friends with the other kids.”

Paris pulled out of her mother’s embrace and ran up the steps to the school doors. It was her first day at this new school. She had seen how the kids had acted on the first day of school in her old home. Some were even crying and hanging on to their parents.

Paris made a scrunched-up face when she tought of that. Nuh-uh. That was babyish. She wasn’t a baby anymore. She just had her 7th birthday last month. She was big now. She turned to wave to her mother one last time. Her mother smiled and waved back.

At the door, a grown-up met her. A boy was holding on to her left hand. On her shirt, she had a nametag just like Paris did.

“Hi, Paris. I’m Miss Perry.”

“I know. I know how to read,” Paris said with a great amount of pride.

“Wow!” Miss Perry said. She seemed impressed. Paris swelled even bigger. “That’s great. Paris, I want you to meet… wait, why don’t you tell me his name?” She pointed to the nametag on the boy’s shirt.

Paris frowned a little as she studied his nametag, trying to decipher the word.

“Nic… Nickol… Nickolas?”

“Very good! You’re really good at this.”

Paris smiled until her cheeks hurt.

“Paris, meet Nickolas. Nickolas, meet Paris. He just arrived today too.”

Nickolas gave her a shy smile and scuffed the ground with the toe of his shoe. She smiled back.

“Hi, Nick. Can I call you Nick? ‘Cause Nickol… Nickolas… is sooo long. Like this long.” She illustrated by spreading her arms as wide as she could.

Nick gave her that shy smile again. “Sure,” he said softly.

“Okay,” she replied brightly. “My brothers call me Kid. They say Paris is a sissy name. I think you should call me Kid. What do you think?”

“I think Paris is a good name. But I’ll call you Kid if you want me to.”

Her face broke into another megawatt smile at that.

“Yeah,” she nodded enthusiastically. “My Mom told me that I was named after the most romantic city in the WORLD. Maybe even the universe. Mom told me it’s in France. She says that’s in Europe. I’m going to go there someday.” She said the last part in all the seriousness a 7 year old could muster.

Nick was listening with wide eyes. He nodded in agreement when she said that. He didn't think that his own name meant anything as special as that.

“Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t we go together when we grow up?”

“You think we could?” Nick asked breathlessly.

“Of course,” she said, almost scornfully. “My Mom says that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.”

“Yeah,” Nick nodded. “My Mom said that too.”

They chatted the rest of the way to their classroom, Paris swinging Miss Perry’s hand back and forth while Nick simply clung to her.

“Class, we have two new students today,” Miss Perry announced when the class had settled down. “Please stand up and introduce yourselves,” she said to Paris and Nick.

Paris stood up first, followed by Nick.

“Hi, my name is Paris. I’m from Oregon and I just moved here.”

“Hi. Uh, I’m Nickolas. I mean, Nick. I just moved here, too. I’m from Ruskin.”

“Thank you.” Miss Perry smiled warmly at them. “Class, today we’re going to start on a new project. You can pick your own partners this time.”

Paris turned to Nick who was sitting beside her. “Partners?” she asked brightly.

“Okay,” Nick said, beaming back.

Miss Perry started handing out colored paper, color pencils, glitter, and glue to each table. The project was to make a Mother’s Day card for their moms. Paris and Nick bent their heads and began working immediately.

“Oops…” Nick winced as a heap of glitter slipped from his fingers to the floor.

“Ooh… Nickolas just dropped the glitter. You’re going to get into trouble for that,” taunted Tim, who sat beside Nick.

Paris, seeing Nick’s stricken face, rose up and faced him immediately.

“No, he’s not because you won’t tell Miss Perry.”

“Am too.”

“Am not. If you do, that means you’re a tattletale. Tattletale Tim,” she taunted.

“Am not,” argued Tim, red in the face.

“Am too. Or I’ll tell the whole class your name is Tattletale Tim. And I’ll hit you.”

He scoffed, “You’re a girl. Girls can’t punch.”

“I have three brothers. They all taught me how to throw a punch.”

Tim sat down in his seat and sulked.

Nick was on the floor, gathering the glitter in his hands. Paris bent down to help him. When they had gathered most of the glitter, they returned to their seats.

“Thanks,” Nick said shyly.

“It was nothing,” Paris said, trying to act aloof. Nick looked as if he might burst out crying any minute.

“Can you really punch?”

Paris was glad that the scared expression was fading from his face. She nodded enthusiastically, making her ponytail bounce. She proceeded to tell him about all the things she had done with her brothers while they both worked on their cards.

Nick’s head was bent down over a book – wait, a book?! Brian backtracked his steps to the doorway of Nick’s room again and looked closely. It *was* a book. A thick one at that. And it didn’t look as if it would have cartoons all over it. Weird.

Nick lifted his eyes for a moment, as if he was thinking about something. When he saw Brian, he sprang backwards on his bed – like a frog, Brian thought – and his back hit the headboard. Brian noticed that he managed to slide the book under the covers.

“Goddammit, Brian! You scared me.”

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” he replied severely. Then his face broke into a devilish smile.

“What were you reading?”

“Me? Reading?” Nick asked, making his eyes go wide. Brian thought that he should tell him that those eyes stopped working on the them about a year ago. Well, except for Howie. He was a sucker for Nick.

Brian slanted his eyes at Nick. Nick took ‘the slant’ as a danger sign – as he well should – and scrambled off the bed. Another interesting thing that Brian noticed was that he managed to ‘accidentally’ cover the book with pillows on his way. Brian’s interest was truly peaked now. Nick saw his eyes flitting to where the book was and had a moment of self-debate. Then he lunged for he book just as Brian did the same. They went head-to-head. Brian grappled for the book while trying to shove Nick off the bed at the same time.

Brian touched something that suspiciously felt like the spine of a paperback and grabbed it.

“Ha!” He held the book above his head triumphantly while landing on Nick’s stomach, effectively knocking the wind out of him.

“The supremacy of Brian Littrell prevails! I am the ultimate ruler of Nicky-land! I am the Supreme King of Pizzas and Pizza Boxes – “

He was cut off in the middle of his monologue by Nick heaving up and throwing him off. But Brian still managed to keep hold on the book. Good thing he landed on Nick’s legs and not the hotel floor. Although the kid’s knees were a little sharp. He made himself comfortable there so he could look at the book properly.

Nick tried to lift his legs but Brian wasn’t exactly the lightest guy around. That would be Howie. Or maybe AJ. Definitely not Kevin. Brian ignored his struggle and looked at the book’s title. He squinted at Nick.

“This isn’t one of those books where a young, naïve prostitute who doesn’t have a choice but sell her body stumbles across a customer who’s filthy rich and they find true love in each other, is it?”

Nick stopped struggling and raised his eyebrows.

“Cause Leigh has one of those. I saw one in the library.”

Nick tried to hide his smirk when he saw a blush creep up Brian’s ears. He had probably dog-eared all the nasty parts, too.

“You’ve been reading too many chick books. And that’s a thriller.”

Suddenly, he sat up again and grabbed the book out of Brian’s hands.

“Who’s it from?”

“None of your business.”

“I’ll order pizza if you tell me.”

“What I would really like you to do right now is to get off my knees.”

“I think we can throw that into the deal.”

Nick rolled his eyes.

“Brian, I can order pizza on my own. This hotel has room service, like most five-star hotels do.”

“Smartass,” Brian said, flicking him on the forehead.

“Hey!” Nick protested, batting his hands away.

This inspired Brian to move his hands to Nick’s ribs. Nick squealed and squirmed, tickling Brian back. In a few moments, they had tumbled off bed and were in all-out tickle war.

“Guys!”

They paused for just enough time to see Kevin, Howie, and AJ standing above them.

“Say uncle,” Brian panted between bursts of laughter.

“No. You first,” Nick gasped.

Brian locked Nick’s head under his arm and proceeded to give him a good noogie.

Nick squealed again and cried out, “Uncle! I said uncle you little bastard!”

AJ shook his head at them. “Man, we thought you were going berserk in here.”

“Nah, we’re cool,” Brian said. He gave Nick one last good rub before letting him go.

When the others had left, Brian prodded Nick’s leg with his foot.

“So, really. Whose book is that?”

Nick glared. He knew that Brian wasn’t letting this go. And Brian could irritate the hell out of anyone better than Nick could. He had proven that numerous times.

He sighed in defeat.

Brian grinned in delight.

“It’s just something Kid sent me.”

“That’s it? Jeez, couldn’t you have told me earlier?”

“Maybe I didn’t want you to bother me for a week like that time after you found out Kid sent me that CD,” Nick said wryly.

“Aw, you know I just like seeing you all riled up,” Brian said, batting his eyelashes. Nick thought it made him look like he had some king of incurable eye twitch.

“Gross, man. Get *off* me. And people say you’re the pious one."

a/n thanks to dancinpacer03 who gave me "please, baby, pieces, surrender, shadow"

Nick always woke up slowly. This time was no exception. He blinked a couple of times trying to clear his head to figure out what had woken him up.

He winced as the shrill ring of the telephone pierced through the mist drifting in his brain, leaving nothing to doubt.

Nick groped blindly around his bedside table, trying to find his phone since his eyelids didn’t seem to be cooperating. When he finally found the phone, he squinted open an eye just enough for him to see the screen name. Brian.

“You better have a *really* good reason for waking me up before noon. We’re supposed to be having off time, dammit. Someone better has been set on fire.”

On account of him not functioning properly until he was truly awake – and sometimes, not even then – it mostly came out as, “You bet haf grease fcallen fo’ nn. Wispse thaf offem, amt. Sum beht eton fah.”

But Brian, being Brian and also from the South, could interpret Nick well enough. At least, he thought that being from the South was part of it.

“I’m going to have a baby! And no one’s on fire!”

All his life, Nick had never heard Brian like this before. His sentences all seemed to end with an exclamation mark. He sounded like a cheerleader on crack.

Nick's still foggy brain couldn’t decipher Brian’s feelings that accurately but he settled on detecting the few emotions he could from Brian’s voice. There was a lot of excitement, a lot of nervousness, and definitely a ton of happiness.

Brian was babbling happily now and only bits and pieces of information like “Leigh”, “this morning”, “choked”, and “news” filtered through. And although right now Nick didn’t know what the word “choked” was doing in this kind of conversation he didn’t think about it much since he knew the whole conversation would come back to him when he was truly awake.

For the time being, he let Brian babble on.

“Huh?” He started when he heard Brian’s voice in his ear again. He winced when he realized that he had dozed off.

“Nick? Can you hear me? Goddammit, Nick. Did you fall asleep again?”

“Uh, no… Of course not.”

“Nick, if you’re tired, I’ll let you go.”

“No!” he knew Brian didn’t really want to hang up but would do it anyway if he thought Nick was tired and he definitely knew he had hurt Brian’s feelings, even if just a little. “I mean, uh, I didn’t fall asleep. I was just, uh, resting my eyes.”

“Uh-huh.” Brian didn’t sound like he believed a word of it. Heck, *Nick* wouldn’t have believed a line like that. Resting his eyes? Can you say lame?

He opted for a change of subject.

“So, when are you going to tell the other fellas?”

“You can’t tell the others.”

“Huh?”

Man, he was just an encyclopedia of lameness this morning. Although it was mostly Brian’s fault.

“We just want to keep this to ourselves for a while, you know? Just the two of us. Please don’t tell anyone else.”

By “just the two of us”, Nick had gotten that Brian wasn’t exactly referring to Nick and himself.

“Uh, Brian? You do realize that you were babbling to me about your baby five minutes ago, right?”

“Yeah, but that was because I just *had* to tell someone, you know? And I just hit any random number on speed dial and there you were.”

Nick rolled his eyes. He stopped mid-roll when he realized that his eyes were actually doing what his brain asked them to do.

“I feel the love, man. I really do.”

Hey, just tellin’ the truth here.” He sounded one-third apologetic, one-third amused, and one-third lingering excitement. Whoa. His brain was back to normal. And all this had happened before – he paused the train of thought to check the clock – 11 a.m.

When he finished talking with Brian, he knew there was no way he was going back to sleep. He had another one of his self-debates before jumping into a cold shower and jumping out again in the matter of minutes.

He got dressed and padded downstairs to feed himself. His dogs were staying with his Mom. After lunch, he was feeling almost human again. He checked his voicemail and called back his Mom, Aaron and AJ.

Brett came around the next night and dragged him out of the house, telling him the you-have-to-get-out-and-meet-other-humans-for-a-change speech in that mother hen tone he always used on Nick when he thought Nick was going to end up staying at home alone on a Friday night.

“Dude, you gotta go out on Friday nights, man. We have to surrender our sexy bodies once in a while to those hot Orlando chicks lusting after us,” he said above the music on the car’s radio.

Although that wouldn’t sound like a lecture to anyone else, Nick knew that it certainly *was* a lecture. First of all, he knew Brett. He knew Brett thought he was doing this for Nick’s own goodafter the deal with Paris and all. Second of all, he had heard enough lectures from Kevin in his lifetime to detect one in a five-mile radius.

The bouncer of the club knew Brett and let them through. It seemed like Brett knew all the bouncers to all the clubs in Orlando by their first names.

The only lights emitted from the dim, colorful, pulsing lights up ahead and the ones at the bar. The nooks and crannies were full of moving shadows. Nick thought that he had a pretty good idea of what was happening in those shadows. Plus, the DJ sucked. The only good thing about this club was that Nick figured no one would notice him.

They climbed up to the VIP section and checked the scenery for a while before stepping onto the dancefloor. After three hours of dancing and grinding against strangers, he was sweating and downing his third beer. Brett appeared and slid into the seat beside him.

“Man, could you take the cab tonight? I’ll make it up to you later.”

Nick let his eyes stray towards the girl Brett was gesturing at and made and appreciative sound. Brett grinned at him and slapped him on the shoulder before swaggering out of the club with his arm around the girl’s thin waist.

Nick finished his beer, got hit on a few more times and danced to a few more songs before taking a cab back to his house – alone.

Paris stood in front of the mirror, trying to use a hairpin to pin back her hair instead of making her scalp sore like it was bent on doing right now. When she was sure it wasn’t going to be launching an attack on her skull for the rest of the day, she grabbed her backpack and ran downstairs.

She stopped at the kitchen table for a moment to grab a toast.

“Hurry! The others are already waiting outside,” her mom said from beside the stove.

“Bye Mom!” she kissed her mother’s cheek before running outside to the driveway. She paused at the doorway and looked down at her feet when she realized that she had forgotten her shoes. She ran back into the foyer and grabbed them.

“Kid!” she heard Max yell.

She ran back out, shoes in one hand and books in the other while trying not to let the strap of her backpack slide down her shoulder. She was sure that she looked like an unbalanced freak with a peg leg right now.

She jumped in just before Max took off. As she bent down to tie her shoelaces, a stray strand of hair fell into her eyes and she huffed it away. This was not a good start to a Wednesday morning.

Max parked the car in the school parking lot and the four of them said their "see you laters" before stepping into the throng of moving kids in the hallway and losing sight of each other.

As she was putting her books in her locker, she felt someone tap her shoulder and turned to find Kristen and her posse there. Kristen and her gang were *the* girls of the freshman class.

“Hi, Paris. We, like, want to talk to you about something.”

Huh? Since when did Kristen stoop to the lower levels of the freshman social ladder? Unfortunately, my tongue was immobile from shock, preventing me from voicing my thoughts.

“See, we’ve noticed that, like, with a good makeover, you could be, like, really pretty.”

Are you blind?

“Plus, your brothers are, like, really cute.”

Ah, the real hidden agenda.

“But, like, you need to get rid of your friend Nickolas there.”

She gestured towards Nick who was moving towards them. Paris winced when he fell down tripping over his own feet.

“He would just, like, totally radiate dorkiness. And that would, like, totally ruin our vibe.”

Paris finally found that her tongue wasn’t frozen anymore but just as she was about to say that Kristen had no right whatsoever to say that about Nick and that she really should get a Thesaurus, Kristen and Co. had whisked away, paving a path through the hallway.


“Hey, Kid. What was that about?” Nick said as he glanced at the direction Kristen had disappeared to.

“Nothing. Just Kristen torturing me with her limited vocabulary.” I figured that I shouldn’t diss her friends since they were really brainwashed and had been turned into clones by the evil Kristen. It wasn't their fault Kristen was so evil.

“Yeah, like, they really need, like, extra classes in English. I wonder if she speaks like that all the time.” Nick actually sounded like he was seriously thinking about it.

I laughed until tears came to my eyes. Even though it was true that Nick *was* a little dorky, he could do the best mimics. He was practically an expert at mimicking Mr. Stanley who tried to insert the subject of stock markets in every sentence he said. It was no secret that Mr. Stanley hoped to be working on Wall Street. But for now, he was just a math teacher.

When they got to Creative Writing, they had to hand in their journals. The idea was that so kids could pour their feelings into the journal and be comforted by the fact that no one other than Mrs. Jameson would read them. This was supposedly to reduce the chances of a kid trying to blow up the school or something. Paris wondered if Principal Maniker was really desperate enough to think that it would work.

Their latest assignment was to write down what motivated them in life. Paris didn’t really know what to answer to that but she figured that writing down “not much, thank you” wouldn’t really help her get an A in class.

So she settled for *pretending* to bare her heart and soul when she really wasn’t exposing an inch. It was kind of fun if you thought about it. It was almost like creating a story.

On Saturday morning, Paris was watching The Nutcracker and eating cereal when Nick called.

“Hey Kid! Remember the gig I told you about with those four other guys? Lou just said that we could go to Germany and do concerts next month. Real live concerts! In front of real live audience!”

“Really? Man. Wow. That’s great!”

“What’s the matter?”

“Just. Germany, man. That’s in Europe. As in thousands of miles away.”

“But we can still keep in touch, right? I mean, not my phone because then Lou, Kevin, and Mom would kill me when they see the bill but we can send letters and stuff. I mean, we’ve known each other half our lives. Literally. We’re not going to sop being friends just because I’m going to Germany for a while.”

“Yeah, of course not. I’ll send you books so you won’t get bored. Or even comics.”

“Good. That’s settled. Hey, are you watching Nutcracker again?”

“Yeah,” I said around a mouthful of cereal.

"Dude, gross. And I still don’t get why you like it so much.”

I swallowed the cereal. “Hey, it’s a nice story.”

The thing was, I mostly liked it because of all the dancing. I had been taking dancing lessons since I was a kid. I was even planning to apply to Julliard when I was old enough.

A few weeks later, Nick told me that they had to leave earlier than expected. They would be gone by the end of the month. We managed to say our goodbyes over the phone right before he left.

“Take care. Eat. You’re too skinny.”

“This coming from the girl people *still* call Sticks,” he muttered. “Seriously, though. Take care.”

“Yeah, you too. Seriously,” I said in the gravest tone I could manage. The thought of Nick leaving for God knows how long sobered me up pretty effectively.

“Okay. So. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Kid walked into the café, instantly surveying the customers. The place wasn’t packed at all. There were just a few college students and a few businessmen reading newspapers sitting around and sipping coffee.

She spotted Nick sitting at a table near the corner, almost hidden from view. She walked towards him and sat down across from him. Nick grinned when he saw her.

“Hey, Kid. What’s it been now? Seven months?”

“Yep, pretty much.”

“That’s my bodyguard,” Nick said, gesturing towards a guy who was sitting a few tables away. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

The bodyguard wasn’t built huge like most of the others she had encountered. This one was pretty wiry, really. Before, Kid had thought that he was just an average customer.

“So, what’s up?” she asked Nick.

“Y’know just wanted to catch up.”

“You came all the way to New York just to catch up?” She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“Yeah. Can’t a guy catch up with his best bud?”

Before she could answer, a waiter arrived and took their orders. Things must be really slow here. She ordered an ice blended since she hated coffee. Nick ordered an espresso.

After their drinks arrived, they made small talk, simply catching up with each other. Kid knew there was an agenda behind all this and was dying to know what it was. But she knew Nick. He wouldn’t tell her until he wanted to.

After coffee, they walked around New York. Nick informed her that they were here for a performance or another. He loved New York but it was the beginning of winter and it was pretty cold. Good thing she was wearing a turtleneck and the coat Max had given her before she left for Julliard. It was a nice coat, very big and comfortable. It kept out the cold nicely.

Kid realized her brain was rambling. She didn’t know why but she had stopped questioning the workings of her brain years ago. It was way too cracked up.

They bought some hot dogs and sat in a bench in Central Park. Nick declared that they were having a picnic. Kid corrected him by saying that it was only a mini-picnic. Earlier, Nick had managed to persuade Johnny to pull off the bodyguard until the end of the day.

They had fun walking around the usual tourist haunts, making fun of tourists and guessing where they came from.

Nick was bracing his backs against a railing and Kid had settled herself on top of it and the two of them were talking when Nick nudged her side with her elbow. When she glanced at him, he let his eyes travel slightly to a German tourist that was walking on the boardwalk. Their eyes met again and he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Feel like making any declarations of love right now? I dare ya.”

This was an old game the two had played back in Florida. And Kid never backed down from a challenge.

Confidently, she strode towards the tourist. He was brown-haired and blue-eyed and was very cute. She had heard him ask directions before in halting English so she supposed their trick would work.

When she got close enough, she threw herself into the guy’s arm. “Oh Sammy! Don’t leave me! I’ll do anything. Please! I love you!”

The poor guy looked as startled as hell. He was still holding her, not quite sure what to do.

“Jorgen?” a snippy voice came from beside them.

She lifted her head and saw a very angry lady glaring at her. Uh-oh. Tourist guy looked as if he had a girlfriend. She felt someone grab her arm and began to drag her away. She flashed both of them a smile before split out running alongside Nick. They were both laughing, stomachs cramping and tears rolling out of their eyes.

Finally, they stopped at an intersection to catch their breath. They were still howling like wild animals and it was a good thing this was New York since people here usually ignored other crazy people who were doubled over from laughing as they walked past them.

After that, they had dinner at a burger place, which served the best hamburgers Kid had ever tasted. It also suddenly occurred to her she had only eaten a hotdog since noon. She scarfed the whole thing in less than five minutes. Nick managed to do it in three.

After the hamburgers and shakes, it was already 9. A whole day had just flown by. As they walked back to her building, she had the strangest vibe coming from Nick. He had been guffawing a moment ago and now he was looking down at the pavement, frowning as if it held secrets that he needed to decipher.

“What’s up?”

“Huh?” he looked up, startled. “Oh, nothing. Just, y’know, thinking.”

Kid didn’t make any wisecracks to that. She felt as if this wasn’t exactly the appropriate time, though she didn’t know why.

When they arrived in front of her building, they both stood there for a moment. Kid didn’t exactly know what she was waiting for. She had the same feeling she had felt after a first dates. You know, when both of them don’t know what to do to end the night.

But that was just ridiculous. This was Nick they were talking about here.

“So, I guess I’ll see you… whenever.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

Just as she reached the door, Nick called out.

“Wait.”

Puzzled, she turned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know.”

He sounded so dismal. She walked down the steps slowly to join him again. She knew the only way for him to voice the problem was for her to wait it out.

“Kid. I need to tell you something.”

Kid frowned. She wasn’t one to jump to conclusions, but this sounded serious. Had something happened with his family?

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated after her. It sounded like he was readying himself for something. Something big.

“Alright. Um…”

Kid was getting nervous and impatient at the same time. The two didn’t make a very good combination.

“I love you.”

She blinked.

That seemed like the only thing she could do right now. Every part of her body was just paralyzed, even her brain.

“Um, Kid?”

Suddenly, she grinned. “Nicky boy, you got me there. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Man, I thought the expression on that Jorgen guy was a laugh. My face must have been a thousand times better, huh?”

Nick, who had been scared shitless about declaring that in front of her earlier, felt an overwhelming need to explain things to her right now. He had to make her see. This wasn’t a joke. He would never kid around about something like this. Unfortunately, his mouth couldn’t seem to catch up with his brain.

“Kid. Wait… it’s not… it’s not like that okay… I meant it… I… I really… I meant what I said…”

Kid laughed.

“Don’t get your boxers in a bunch. You don’t have to apologize. It was a good joke. I totally fell for it. Call me tomorrow, okay? You can gloat about it then.”

Nick was getting frustrated. She was about to leave. He had to do something.

“Wait!”

Kid froze. Nick winced. He supposed didn’t have to say it that loudly.

“Kid,” he said more softly. He reached out and grabbed her hand, afraid that she would get away. He pulled her closer towards him.

“Listen. I meant what I said. The, y’know ‘I love you’ thing. I really did.”

He didn’t know what to do now. He had heard about guys declaring their love to their significant other and somehow, none of them reacted like Kid had. She was frozen. If he hadn’t been holding her hands in his, he would’ve sworn that she had turned into an icicle or something.

“Y’know Nick, you really got to stop this clowning around. It’s getting cold out here.”

Nick fought to control his temper.

“Kid, I am not clowning around, okay. I’m deadly serious here.”

He stared into her eyes, trying to send the message to her. He had run out of words now. There was nothing else he could’ve said.

He had planned this earlier in his hotel room. He had planned to let her take him around the city and have fun, just to show her how right they were with each other. He had planned for them to talk and laugh together. Then, he had planned to tell her. This was where his planning came to an end. It all came down to her reaction.

In the best-case scenario he had envisioned, she would laugh like always and declared that she loved him, too. Then they would embrace and kiss and have a happily ever after.

In the worst-case scenario, she would be sad that she couldn’t repay his affections and their friendship would be lost forever.

None of these happened. What she did was totally unexpected.

She blazed. Seriously, she did. Her eyes that before had been smoldering gray turned into snapping silver fire. Her jaw began twitching which meant she was gritting her teeth or she was trying not to spew angry comments at him. In this case, it was probably both. Her fist clenched.

Nick took that as a bad sign.

“You fucking prick!” she shouted. “Where do you get off, telling me things like that? Do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve practically ruined us! I’m not going to be your safety net. If you think I’m the easy way out, think again, Carter!” she spat out before going up the stairs again.

At the top of the stairs, she paused and turned. “Oh, and about the calling thing? Do not EVER contact me again.”

The phone was ringing. Damn. Why were my phones *always* ringing? Don’t people know the meaning of ‘peace and quiet’? I couldn’t get that in my own house. Ignoring the ringing phone, I flipped through the channels. After I had finally settled on MTV, I hit the mute button. I really hated Carson. He was a pretentious ass.

“Nick? Nick, I know you’re there. C’mon, Frack. Pick up,” came Brian’s voice after the answering machine picked up.

Frack? Nobody had used that nickname for years.

“Nick, I swear if you don’t pick up I’ll go there myself.”

I snorted. Yeah, right. He was with Leigh in… where the fucking ever they were right now. Yeah, I was in full self-pity mode today.

“Nick, we’re all worried about you. You’re mother called us, man. She said you wouldn’t take her calls these couple of days. Talk to me, man.”

I stared at Carson, wishing I could wipe that smug smirk off his face. Ninety percent of the celebrities I knew hated Carson. Fuck that, it was probably nearer to 99 percent. Brian was still talking. I wanted to put the phone off the hook but somehow; I couldn’t find the will to care anymore. How pathetic was that?

I didn’t know how long I had been sitting in front of the couch, watching MTV, when Brian barged into the living room.

“Nick! God, I thought you were dead or something.”

When the screen went blank, I didn’t react. The only thought that was running through my head was about the ways to murder Carson Daly.

“Nick? You okay, buddy?”

I was thinking about pouring poison into his food when the question registered into my brain. Blinking, I looked up at Brian. Brian’s face was odd, I noticed. At least, his expressions were. First, he looked surprised. Then, he looked almost affectionate. Brian sat down on the floor beside me.

Wait. What was Brian doing here?

“What’re you doing here?”

“To see you. What else?” Brian seemed genuinely puzzled by my question.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Leigh?”

“Nah.”

He didn’t offer any more than that so I let it drop. We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, staring at the blank TV screen.

“Nick? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” I really didn’t. I didn’t even know what the hell put me into this funk.

“Are you sure? Cause you seem kinda pale.”

I offered a shrugged. I had been like this for a few days now, just slipping into myself.

“What’s this about, Nick?”

I thought about that. What *was* this about? I honestly had no idea.

So I shrugged again.

“Okay, Nick. That’s it. Get up.”

I looked up at Brian, my brow furrowing.

“You need to have a decent shower and some decent food in you. Come on.”

After all these years, I had almost forgotten how strong Brian was. Sure, he was smaller usually he was sweet to everyone but he could be forceful when he wanted to. There was just some kind of steel in him that the rest of us didn’t have, not even Kevin.

Hauling me up, he marched me to the bedroom and into the bathroom. He ran the shower and helped me to strip down to my boxers before stepping back.

“Okay, spend as many hours as you want. I’ll be downstairs making dinner,” he said before he went out.

When I felt the cold spray hit my body, I felt my head clearing up. Kevin had told me once that nothing could beat a cold shower to clear your head. Guess he was right. After twenty minutes, I dried myself and put on a pair of clean boxers with a t-shirt and sweatpants before going downstairs.

Brian had cooked some pasta and spaghetti. I guess he used that Italian cookbook Mom had left for me. Or maybe he had just reheated the frozen food that was in the fridge.

“So, where’s Leigh?” I asked when we had finished eating.

“She’s at her parents. They wanted to see the baby.”

“Okay… So what’re you doing here, then?”

“I told you, I came looking for you.”

I didn’t need to ask any more. Even though he was married and had a baby and had responsibilities and shit, he still came looking. That was just Brian for you.

“Have you heard from Kid lately?”

“She told me she was touring with that troupe a few weeks ago.”

“A few weeks ago, huh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What?”

“You were using that tone.”

“What tone? I have a tone?”

“Yeah. That tone you use when you see something wrong.”

“You’re hallucinating, Nick. I don’t have a tone. And we’re quarrelling here like a married couple.”

“I still say you have a tone.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Brian stayed for a few days after that. I was ashamed to say that I enjoyed him looking over me. You’d think that living in the spotlight for half your life would make you more wise and independent and all that hoopla. Plus the fact that I also had Kevin hovering over me for half my life.

Finally, after three days, I forced him out.

“Are you sure you’re fine?”

“For the last freaking time Brian, I’M SURE.”

I was lying through my teeth of course. I mean he had to go back. I knew for a fact that Leigh was back and so was the baby. I couldn’t bear thinking that I was separating him from his father. I had experienced that all too well.

Brian still didn’t look convinced though. I had to practically wrestle him into the car.

When Brian had finally zoomed off, I slumped against the doorframe. Kicking people out of your house can be pretty exhausting.

a/n hey, thanks for reading and PLEASE keep reviewing... I'll be needing some inspiration so keep sending me some random words, okay?...

“Yup.”

“Max!”

“Speaking. Who’s there?”

“It’s Kid. Listen, I need to talk to you.”

“What ‘bout?”

“Nick. We were hanging out together and he said he loved me.”

“So?”

“What do you mean so? Hello, freaking out here? I never figured he felt… that way… about me.”

“Hold up. You mean he hasn’t said this to you before?”

“No. Why would he want to say this to me?”

“It’s obvious, you moron. He loves you, duh.”

“No, he doesn’t. He can’t just fall in love like that.”

“Oh, yeah says who? And are you sure he hasn’t said those three words before?”

“Of course I’m sure. Why are you asking me stupid inane questions right now?”

“They’re not stupid. Nor are they inane. Didn’t you two go out together when you were… I dunno… 16? 17?”

“What? No! I don’t think of him like that. And he doesn’t think of me like that. Or he didn’t use to. Did he?”

“I’m sure you two went out on a few dates together. You were 17 and it was spring break. He had a few weeks off and you two went everywhere together. I swear, you two were attached at the hip.”

“He’s my best friend for God’s sake. Best friends are like that all the time. Plus, I hadn’t seen him in months. It's not like I had many friends in high school."

“Yeah, but-“

“Wait a minute. You thought we were dating?”

“Duh.”

“Did, um, Nick think we were dating?”

“I’m pretty sure he did.”

“Did he say that specifically?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, man. This is bad. Why didn’t anybody tell me this?”

“We thought you two were dating, okay. Naturally, we thought you were aware of whom you were dating.”

“Fuck. This is just great.”

“Hey, Adrian’s here. Hold on.”

“Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey, Adrian.”

“I hear you’re freaking out.”

“Big time.”

“What ‘bout?”

“Nick just told me he loved me.”

“So?”

“What do you mean so?”

Kid heard Max say something.

“Wait a minute. You didn’t know you were dating him in high school?”

“No! I wasn’t dating him. At least not intentionally. Why didn’t you two tell me this? What is wrong with this family?”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. Back then, he was already telling me he loved you.”

“WHAT?? What is wrong with him? Guys don't go around telling their oblivious best friend's brothers that they love their sisters. Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I figured he already told you.”

“No, he didn’t tell me. I wonder why he wouldn’t do that. Oh, maybe because we WEREN’T DATING??”

“Geez, okay. I hear you loud and clear. From here on in, I’ll be sure to tell you if Nick tells me he loves you, okay?”

“And inform me if you think we’re dating?”

“And inform you if we think you’re dating.”

“God, I can’t believe we just said that.”

“Me neither. I’m turning into a teenage girl and it’s all your fault.”

“No it isn’t. You’re half a teenage girl already.”

“Whatever. So now you know he loves you. Anything else?”

“Well, this might just be one of those fleeting things, you know. I mean, he falls in love with a new girl every other week.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

“Not really.”

“I think that it’s unlikely that Nick could fall in love with the same girl twice, especially if, like you said, it’s the kind of love that’s fleeting. Maybe he loved you from the start, and only you. And when he realized that you didn't feel the same way, he just tried thinking about other girls for seven years. The last person he dated was a blonde girl named Paris, for God's sake. If that doesn't scream the obvious, I really don't know what does. Now that he’s wised up and realized what he really wants – you – he’s going for it.”

"God, you make us sound so pathetic."

"It wasn't intentional. At least not on his part."

“Adrian?”

“Yeah?”

“Goodbye.”

We are here today to grieve the untimely death of Frank Abraham…

Kid stared straight ahead as the words swept across the cemetery, carried by the wind. She watched as the casket was lowered and felt the presence of her brothers around her. Untimely death. You can say that again. He died way before he was supposed to. It wasn’t natural to be burying your father in your teens. It simply wasn’t supposed to be like this.

When it was time for them to throw flowers on top of the casket, she lined up behind her brothers. As she stepped forward, she contemplated the casket that was in the ground. It looked so… impersonal. Yet, it held one of the most influential people in her life. She wondered what had ran through his mind before he squeezed the trigger. Did he think about her? About Max and Adrian and Kell? Or maybe he just wanted to get it over with so he could meet Mom. *Did* he meet Mom? She hoped he did. She desperately wanted to believe that something good would come out of this. But what could? Her mother was gone, and now her father, too. As she let go of the blood red rose, she felt as if she was letting go of everything she believed real.

After it was over, everybody came and said their condolences. Kid noticed that it was pretty dark but it wasn’t raining. Even if it was still 4 pm, she wouldn’t have been surprised if she saw a bright full moon in the sky. This seemed like the day for unnatural things to occur.

Kell put his arm around Kid and guided her towards the car. She was glad he did since her body felt as if it weighed a ton.

*

I looked as Kid walked away from the casket. Me and Howie were right at the back of the crowd but I still could see some of what was going on. When everybody had dispersed, we approached Kell and Kid.

When she looked up at me I didn’t know what to say. She had usually been the strong one, always sticking up for me at school. Now, she looked horrible. Her clothes were hanging off her frame; she had obviously lost weight. She had dark bruises under her eyes and her face looked hollow, gaunt.

I had this impulse to hit anything in vicinity.

Why was everything so unfair? Kid hadn’t done anything terribly wrong in her life as far as I knew. She didn’t deserve this. Her mother shouldn’t have been killed by a drunk driver. Her father shouldn’t have committed suicide. Lou shouldn’t have been such a fucking prick that I had to throw a fucking tantrum to come to the funeral.

But all that had happened. And nobody was to blame. That fact made me madder than ever.

A cold, small hand slipped into mine. Kid wasn’t exactly looking at me but I knew she was trying to hold on to me so I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

I squeezed her hand and tried to do something else, like smile reassuringly, but that was not possible right now.

Howie was talking to Kell before he turned to face me.

“You’ll be alright?”

“Yeah. Just, you know, need some time.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you back at the Abraham’s place.”

I seriously loved Howie.

We decided to take a walk through the neighborhood. I had only been gone a few months but it felt like forever. There were new shops and different houses and different neighbors…

We reached a playground near the Abraham’s house. It looked like it was about to pour so it was pretty deserted.

“Let’s sit,” I said.

Kid looked like she was about to collapse so clichéd seating options such as swings, see-saws and slides were out, as were those small animals that rocked back and forth which were poor imitations of a merry go round.

I led her over to a decent-looking bench and we sat down. One hand was in my coat pocket while the other was holding Kid’s. I couldn’t believe how cold it was. No matter how I willed my body heat to transfer itself to her, it didn’t work.

“You’ve grown.”

“Yeah, I have.” I permitted a small smile to cross my lips.

“I think you’re even taller than Max. And you’re just 16.”

I didn’t say anything for a while.

“How are you?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to feel shitty, I guess.”

I looked down, not seeing anything. I hadn’t been there for her. She hadn’t said a word to me about how her Dad was all these months. People don’t just go around shooting themselves for no apparent reason.

“Let’s walk some more,” she said, standing up.

I thought about this. If she fainted or anything, we were pretty near to her house so I could probably carry her or ask for help or something.

I stood up and followed her lead. We walked past outdoor cafes and tiny shops and finally reached a lake. I was pretty sure it would’ve been beautiful on a normal Florida day but right now it just looked dark and forbidding.

“Wanna go for a swim?”

I looked down at her. In another time, I would’ve totally been tempted to just jump in and forget everything. But everybody had basically given me custody of her so I couldn’t.

“Well, seeing as I don’t know how deep the lake is and it looks especially creepy right now, sure!”

“Oh, come on, hot shot. You used to jump into these kind of things.”

I sighed. “I was young and naïve.” How true. “Showbiz has matured me. Can we go now, please? It’s cold here.”

She sighed back at me, giving the lake a longing look. “Fine, fine. Let’s go.”