He felt the cool and salty ocean water spray against his tanned cheeks as the rushing wind tussled his damp curls. The mist of salty water cooled his skin while the blazing sun blasted against his skin. Each ripple of water dissipated beneath the clean slices of water from his favorite pair of skis. His hands were tightly clenched against the handle that connected him to his best friend's boat. He anticipated the boat's intentions with the simple knowledge of his friend's personality. Every now and then, a smile flickered across his handsome face when his friend swerved the boat, trying to throw him from his skis.

"YOU'RE TOO GOOD!" his friend screamed over the roar of the engine.

"No! You just can't maneuver the boat properly!" he yelled back with an impish smile. His friend flipped up his middle finger as a response to the good-natured teasing. "No thanks, Bud!"

His friend didn't answer while deciding to take another sharp turn with the boat. He yelped in surprise as he was jerked in the direction of the boat. He wobbled against his balance, trying to regain his equilibrium before his friend took another sharp turn. He felt the rope tighten once against and jerk him forward. Then, unexpectedly, he heard a sharp snap ringing in his ears, causing his heart to hammer with fear.

There was no time to think as another large force grabbed hold of him and flung him forward. The handle became loose and immediately dropped away from his body. He fell forward into the water and it felt as if his body had connected with hard cement. The dangerous waters engulfed his body with a sweeping fever and dragged him directly to the bottom of the ocean.

A sharp pain exploded in his lower back as he tossed and tumbled with the current along the rocky bottom. He struggled to get to the surface as his lungs begged for air, but the current was too strong to fight. His lungs burned for air and felt as if they might explode. More pain attacked his body with every rock that sliced into his skin. His eyes became blurry as he felt the urge to cease fighting. He tried to call out for help, but water poured into his mouth with huge gulps. Dark spots passed in front of his eyes until the darkness completely invaded his slowing mind. Bubbles licked at his face, racing to the surface. The pain seemed to slowly subside from his body as darkness arrived and finally, he was at peace.

*~*~*

"Howie? Howie, wake up!" a voice ordered into the darkness of Howie's peaceful slumber. He didn't want to walk away from the soothing dark chambers of his dreary mind, but the voice didn't diminish. Instead, the voice grew louder and more disturbed. It pleaded with him, making his heart ache with regret. The voice beckoned him away from the peaceful night, continuing to nag him. He subconsciously groaned for being disturbed, but the voice was winning. "Howie! Open your eyes!"

A sob then broke out amongst Howie's dark silence. It sounded almost like his mother's cry when one of his sisters passed away from a wrenching fight with Lupus. Something stroked his hand delicately as wet tears caressed the soft skin of his cheeks. Another whimper sounded like his girlfriend. His heart pounded faster with agony, making his darkness shatter. His eyelids fluttered as a bright light invaded his vision, making him wince. He opened his cracked lips slowly to allow a painful moan to escape.

"Oh, thank God!" another voice praised as Howie raised a tired hand to his eyes. He winced as the tug of an IV pricked his hand. Images slowly began to clear against the blurriness of his throbbing eyes. He blinked with confusion, struggling to orient himself. His body ached as if it had been crushed beneath a large boulder. He felt as if he were strapped tightly into a bed. Something was wrapped tightly around his neck to prevent his head from moving in any direction. Two tubes were stuffed into his nose, blowing oxygen into his body at a rapid rate. A blood pressure cuff was wrapped around his right arm, pumping up and releasing about every ten minutes. Several tubes were connected against his body in various places, but Howie didn't know why they were attached. He struggled to keep tears of anguish from falling against his burning cheeks. He felt a hand touch his cheek, causing him to flinch in pain.

"Good Morning, Mr. Dorough," an unfamiliar voice announced. Howie focused his weary eyes upon a man in a lab coat. Confusion washed over his face when he realized again that he couldn't turn his head to see the man. He just had to move his eyes to recognize who was speaking with him. He then moved his eyes around the room to find his mother, father, brother, and two sisters weeping by his side. His girlfriend, Darcy, stood by his best friend and band-mate, AJ McLean, looking somber. Everyone looked on pale and frightened, making Howie uneasy about the situation at hand.

"How do you feel?" the man, obviously a physician, questioned him, reaching over to check some of the machines hooked up to him. He squeezed the IV lightly, sending another rush of burning cold liquid into his arm. Howie groaned, causing the physician to smile gently.

Howie focused back upon the man, struggling to clear his thoughts. He felt as if he couldn’t make his brain prepare the words that he wanted to say. It was like a large collision of messages mixing up against his brain. He closed his eyes, wetting his cracked lips. "Sore," Howie admitted with a scratchy voice. His throat ached with dryness. "Where... Where am I?"

"You're in the Orlando Hospital. You were in an accident, Mr. Dorough," the doctor explained as he flipped open Howie's metal chart that was attached to the end of the bed. Howie closed his eyes again as his brain jolted with memories. He could hear AJ screaming for him to stop playing around. The water seeped further into his mouth as he struggled to reach the top. He could still hear himself screaming for help, but sinking deeper into pain. Howie blinked away the tears of his dreadful memories.

"God, Bro, I thought I killed you," AJ finally rasped in horror. He gazed mournfully upon his ailing friend, but Howie never glanced at his friend to tell him that it was okay. AJ sighed softly, bowing his head into his hands with shame when Pollyanna, Howie's sister, wrapped her arms around him.

"I told you to be careful," his girlfriend, Darcy, scolded with a terrified sniffle. Her dark eyes were filled with pools of fresh tears. Howie had been dating Darcy for little under a year. She seemed distraught with the whole events, but Howie thought that maybe she was upset that she appeared disheveled. Darcy hated looking frumpy in front of people, she always had to look her best, no matter what the situation.

"Man, D, I never meant--"

Howie's eyes grew dark as he interrupted AJ's speech, "The line broke when you swerved the boat... I went under the water... There were all those rocks..." Howie grew quiet as more memories of the accident came flooding back. His body throbbed as he recalled the snapping of the line and then his body being dragged along the sharp rocks of the bottom.

"I see that your memory is intact," his doctor announced, breaking into the conversation. He wanted to finish the examination and get back to his other patients. He could let the family rejoice on Howie's awakening later.

"That's good," Darcy sniffled.

"Yes," the doctor answered, reaching for a pair of gloves in the compartment on the wall. "I'm Dr. Carry and I'm your attending physician. To make a long story short, you're quite a battered man, Mr. Dorough. A current caught hold of you when you were thrown into the water, dragging you along the bottom of the ocean. You have a large laceration on your right bicep that needed over twenty stitches and is covered. You have contusions in various places along your body that will cause a lot of stiffness during the passing days. Then you received a sharp blow against your left temple, resulting in a severe concussion."

"Is that why my lower body is numb?" Howie blurted out of confusion. His upper body ached from all the injuries with a roaring fire of pain. However, he couldn't feel anything below his waist. He had tried to move his toes earlier, but nothing had occurred. He wondered if hitting his brain had caused a mix up of signals in his brain. It still didn't make sense in his clouded mind.

"Numb?!" Darcy gasped.

"Howie, are you..." Pollyanna couldn't even finish her sentence from the shock of the news.

"Could you say that again?" Dr. Carry asked.

"I can't feel my legs," Howie repeated slowly. He flicked his eyes to the doctor for some sort of confirmation. He still didn't comprehend the direness of the situation. Howie heard his family take deep breaths of nervousness simultaneously. AJ's mouth hung slight ajar as Howie rubbed his eyes again. Something wasn't right. "Is there something wrong?" Howie asked.

The doctor said nothing to Howie when he placed the chart back into the slot quickly. He then pulled up Howie's blankets away from his legs and maneuvered them in such a fashion that he blocked Howie's sight of his legs. There was a ruffling of the doctor's coat, but Howie was unaware of what was happening to his legs. He heard Darcy gasp and watched her wilt into a nearby chair, causing Howie's heart to beat with alarm.

"What are you doing? What's wrong?" Howie pleaded.

"Mr. Dorough, you broke both of your femurs when you hit the water. You see, you were going over sixty miles an hour and when you fall into water at that speed it tends to hit you like you were falling onto cement. We surgically corrected your femurs with plates and bolts, but there was nerve damage from the way the bones were broken in your legs. Then, you had some damage to your spine when you were dragged along the rocks. I'm afraid there was some direct damage to the spinal cord and some swelling."

"What does that mean?" Howie murmured.

"Can you feel this?" Dr. Carry asked instead. Howie heard something uncap, but felt nothing. There was only a tingling sensation from before. He meekly shook his head with fear. The doctor nodded, doing something else from beneath the sheets. "What about this, Mr. Dorough?"

"No," Howie answered.

"Or this?"

"N-No," Howie stammered. Fear of the unknown began to gnaw at his heart when he saw AJ bite his knuckle and turn away from the sight in disgust. His mother buried her face in his father's chest as his father made the sign of the cross. His girlfriend wept openly with his sisters. Howie felt as if a blanket of darkness had been thrown upon him again. He didn't understand what was going on and became frustrated with the situation.

"What are you doing?" Howie demanded loudly.

"You felt nothing?" Dr. Carry asked again.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I was afraid of this--"

"Of what?" Howie screamed out in distress.

"Mr. Dorough, the trauma in your legs and back caused damage and swelling to your nerves and your spinal cord. A disk slipped in your back and pinched the spinal cord, which sends messages through your nerves for your body to do things that you want to do. Since the spinal cord and nerves were damage, your body is having trouble sending messages to the lower half of your body. I'm afraid that with damage like that...there was a possibility of becoming a paraplegic--"

"A-A-A what?" Howie choked as tears threatened to spill down his bruised cheeks. He was afraid of the conclusions being drawn about his conditions. He didn't want the answer to his question. He feared the answer and what it might mean for his destiny.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Dorough, but it seems that you are paralyzed in the lower half of your body. I have to do some tests to be sure where the paralysis ends, but it most definitely includes both of your legs. The damage to the spinal cord and nerves are quite extensive and I don't think that you'll heal properly for a full recovery."

"What are you saying?" Howie whispered.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Dorough, but I'm afraid that you'll never walk again."

“Mommy! We going to Grammy’s house t’day?” Lucy �“ Nicola’s five-year-old daughter �“ asked eagerly. Lucy was sitting in her booster seat at the small kitchen table with her mother. Lucy set her spoon down on the table, waiting for her mother’s response. The child’s bright blonde curls bounced against her slender shoulders as she tapped her hands against the table after a few moments of complete silence. Lucy had inherited her mother’s impatience when it came to waiting for answers. “Mommy?” Lucy called again.

“Mommy told Grammy, Uncle Danny, and Aunt Rose-Lynn to come to our house and play today,” Nicola answered quickly with a tiny yawn. She popped the lid for her morning Pepsi and took a large swallow. Nicola detested the taste of coffee and received her caffeine fix from soda in the morning. Nicola was a striking twenty-two year old physical therapist with big dreams for her future and a child-like heart.

“Can we play in the pool?” Lucy pleaded as she took large bite of cheerios for her mother. She had learned from her Uncle Danny that it was always good to bribe parents into doing things. Nicola had scolded Danny repeatedly for the teachings, but Lucy never forgot the lesson even at her young age.

“If that’s what you want, Lucy,” Nicola answered with a smile. She would give her daughter the moon if she asked for it. Nicola’s life revolved strictly around her daughter and her daughter’s needs. Lucy was the only person left in Nicola’s life besides her mother, brother, and sister. Nicola had no husband to tend to, so Nicola put all her energy into raising Lucy. She couldn’t have asked for a better gift, though. Nicola never regretted having a child. Lucy made Nicola’s life worth living since Nicola’s husband had abandoned her and Lucy earlier in life.

“Yes! Mommy! That’s what I want!”

“Then we’ll play in the pool and we’ll throw Uncle Danny in!” Nicola declared loudly with an impish grin. Lucy squealed with delight as she clapped her hands in approval. Nicola laughed, knowing her daughter had inherited her playful nature. She sat back in her chair, taking another long sip of her drink, pondering her life in bits and pieces.

“Mommy thinking?” Lucy asked, sensing her mother’s sadness. Lucy had a keen sense that absorbed her mother’s thoughts, feelings, and fears. Nicola’s mother, Marie, had told Nicola that she had never seen a child be so in tune with a mother. Nicola was impressed that her daughter had such a gift.

“No, Lucy, Mommy’s fine.”

“Want kissies?” Lucy squeaked.

“I will take all the kissies that you have to offer �“ AFTER you eat,” Nicola ordered with a caring smile. Lucy nodded with understanding, hurrying to finish her cereal. Lucy was an extremely affectionate child.

Nicola was glad that Lucy never argued with her about finishing her meals. So, with relief, Nicola sat back in her chair to admire her daughter. Lucy was an amazingly intelligent child for her age. She could already read and had just finished kindergarten. Nicola did her best to find things that interested her daughter and benefited Lucy by feeding her knowledge for her hungry mind. Lucy was also strikingly beautiful like her mother. Lucy had her mother’s unruly blonde curls that bounced along her tiny shoulders when she grew excited. Her tiny rosebud lips were always pursed in intense thought. Her eyes were a lovely shade a teal and almond shaped. Women gawked and fawned over Lucy as if she were a rare porcelain doll when Nicola traveled through Orlando with her daughter. Nicola couldn’t have been more proud of Lucy.

“Mommy?” Lucy called again.

“What, Babe?”

“Phone!” Lucy cried eagerly.

Nicola cringed as the annoying ring of the phone echoed around her home. She jumped to her feet and raced to the phone in the living room. She fell onto the couch as she grabbed to the wall to snatch the phone off its charger. Nicola ran a hand through her messy locks as if she were talking to someone in person. She then flicked her eyes toward the mirror that sat on the wall near her front door before speaking. “Hello?”

Nicola found herself day dreaming again as someone replied an abrupt hello. She ignored the voice and began to study her own reflection in the nearby mirror. Everyone had always teased Nicola for being a natural woman. Nicola never fussed with makeup and forbade herself to wear any type of cosmetics, except for lip-gloss. Her cheeks and nose were graced lightly with freckles, which caused others to stereotype her with a bubbly personality. Her light pink lips were always curved into some type of smile. Her eyes were matched with a unique color of deep emerald and had bright gold rings circling the pupils. Her hair was a mess of thick curls the color of light brass with brilliant red highlights �“ a gift from her Ireland heritage. She had a curved figure with slim hips, broad shoulders, large bosom, and a thin figure. Her peaches-and-cream complexion gave off a warm glow, which matched her honey-coated personality. She cared for everyone as if she knew them personally and did her best to help anyone in need of her services. She was humorous, but had the tongue of a serpent when someone behaved ill toward her or her family.

“TILLEY!” a voice shouted with irritancy.

“Eric?” Nicola called, finally focusing back onto her phone call.

“Nicola! I’m your boss, not your damn buddy! It’s always going to be Dr. Jacobs to you. Please use my respected title when addressing me,” her boss, Dr. Jacobs, raved with anger. Nicola smirked as she twirled a strand of golden-red hair against her index finger. Dr. Jacobs was an angry man with a feisty temper, but he never intimidated Nicola.

Nicola was one of seven physical therapists that worked under Dr. Jacobs in his private clinic. His private clinic reached out to every type of family in the Orlando city. Most of his clinics were sent directly from the Orlando Hospital. Dr. Jacobs was a respected man, but know for his hotheaded temper. Nicola only noticed his temper spark out at her every once in awhile. He always seemed to cut Nicola the most amount of slack when it came to tiny disturbances. Nicola always assumed that it was because she was one of only two physical therapists that agreed to do therapy with patients at their private homes.

“Sorry, Eric,” Nicola apologized with a laughing tone against her soft voice.

“NICOLA!”

“Jezz, Eric, what do you want?”

“You are such an irritation, Nicola!”

“Get over it, Eric.”

“Nicola�””

“Why did you call?” Nicola asked, changing the topic quickly.

Dr. Jacobs cursed loudly, causing Nicola to suppress a giggle of amusement. Dr. Jacobs snorted with frustration, trying to gather back his wits. He spoke slowly through clenched teeth, “Another rehab referral came in today. Patient wants home rehabilitation. Immediately. You need to pick up the file on the patient.”

“When do you want me to pick up the file?”

“I suggest today �“ the patient starts therapy on Monday.”

“Wait a minute… Are you serious, Eric? Today is
Saturday for goodness sakes!” Nicola exclaimed with anger. Dr. Jacobs knew how Nicola felt about being dragged to work on Saturdays and Sundays. Those two days were her only days off during the week. Her boss knew that Nicola spent the entire day with Nicola during the weekends to make up for just the evening playtime during the week. He knew that Lucy was extremely important to Nicola, but he liked to push Nicola’s buttons for the amusement.

“The file is at my home office,” he answered, ignoring Nicola’s fury.

“Eric�””

“I expect you to arrive here in less than an hour.”

“Eric, please, my mother�””

“Your job has been assigned and I expect you to complete it, or I will have your final paycheck drawn up and delivered to you from a personal friend.”

“ERIC!”

“Goodbye, Ms. Tilley. See you in an hour.”

Nicola growled with annoyance as she slammed the phone against its charger. She loathed Dr. Jacobs, but he was the best paying job for a physical therapist. She needed as much money as possible in order to keep Lucy well. Lucy was only on a one-parent income and Nicola needed to keep a steady income. Nicola walked back to the kitchen in anger to find Lucy finishing all of her breakfast. Nicola slumped into her chair, knotting her fingers into her curls and pulling. Lucy frowned immediately, “Mommy, you o’tay?”

“What Lucy?”

“You o’tay?”

“Fine, sweetie,” Nicola answered, not wanting to worry her child. She scooped Lucy out of her booster seat quickly. Lucy shrieked with delight when Nicola kissed Lucy’s sweet curls. She hugged the child close as Nicola figured out plans in order to pick up the file. Lucy could stay with Nicola’s mother while she went to pick up the file from Dr. Jacobs. Then Nicola could come back and spend more time with her family. After all, she couldn’t blow off this assignment because Dr. Jacobs was being egotistical, Nicola needed the money to support her precious child.

There was a soft tap on his thick oak door, drawing Howie away from his drug-induced slumber. He found it easier to pull away from the mental anguish and physical pain of his accident. None of the doctors had given him hope for a full recovery. Despite his family’s advice, Howie had traveled over the city in hopes to find at least one good report. However, his exhausting traveling had ended with a dead end. All the conclusions pointed toward a wheelchair. Most of the doctors told him to gain his strength back and try to move on in a different direction with his life. Howie found it impossible to accept the advice. Were they that blind to believe that Howie would accept his fate and turn away from the one love of his life - performing?

The diagnosis was fatal to Howie’s usual charisma and personality. He seemed to be a shadow of his former self. Nothing seemed to thrill him any longer. He thought that God had betrayed him in the cruelest of ways. He decided to turn against God, too. Now, he just stayed in the bed underneath the hypnosis of his pain medications.

Sadly, all the memories came flooding back into his mind when he was drawn away from his deep sleep. It hurt to remember that his dreams had been rudely snatched away from beneath his feet, causing him to fall heavily against the cold reality. Howie quickly suppressed a sob of defeat and brought a heavy hand to his forehead.

“Come in,” he mumbled pathetically.

Carefully, his sister �“ Pollyanna �“ and his girlfriend �“ Darcy �“ peeked into the room. Darcy immediately barged into the room as if it were familiar territory and took her rightful position at the foot of Howie’s bed. She stared at him with a mixed emotion of disgust and apathy, though Howie never recognized the signs. Darcy seemed to resent Howie’s dehumanization since the accident. The family had often tried to show Howie the true colors that Darcy represented, but he was blinded by love. Pollyanna often thought that the woman had leeched onto Howie because of his bank account, though she never voiced her impression. Pollyanna shot an angry glare toward Darcy, but Howie was too depressed to notice that his family disliked Darcy from the beginning. Instead, he invested his time and love into a woman that would drain the rest of his personality away until he was of no use.

“Hey, Baby-Bro,” Pollyanna cooed, wiping away her thoughts. She gently leaned over Howie’s bed to place a tender kiss on Howie’s pale cheek. She had hoped Howie would wake up while his band-mates were visiting. They had been devastated by the news of Howie’s condition, knowing that Howie’s life had been completely rearranged without his consent. The boys genuinely cared for Howie as if he was a blood brother, but Howie’s grief had blinded him from that truth. Pollyanna hoped that the boys would at least give Howie some of his spark back if nothing else.

“What time is it?” Howie asked.

“It’s about five in the afternoon. How do you feel?” Pollyanna asked.

“I’m in pain,” Howie complained, but Pollyanna wasn’t shocked. His body ached from the trauma. His doctor explained that he would be sore for several months while his body tried to heal itself. He would also have phantom pains in his legs from the nerve damage. The best that the family could do was supply him with some painkillers in hopes to dull the pain for awhile.

“I know that you’re in pain, sweetheart. But the doctor said that you should be sitting up for awhile to get yourself back into the swing of things. Maybe I could have John come in and sit you up in your wheelchair�””

“DAMNIT, POLLY! THAT’S NOT MY WHEELCHAIR! IT WILL NEVER BE MY WHEELCHAIR! I AM NOT CRIPPLED! DO YOU HEAR ME?!” Howie exploded in outrage without any warning. He refused to use the metal box as a way of getting around. He would be damned if he ever became confined to a wheelchair to enable mobility.

“Howie! Calm down!” Darcy hissed.

“I WILL NOT BE CALM! I WOULD RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN USE THAT DAMN CHAIR! DO YOU HEAR ME?!” Howie ranted with more fury. He refused to be silenced by two women. His voice would be heard, even if the doctors would not believe him. He would walk again, even if it killed him.

“Howie! Please!” Pollyanna protested with a pained expression. It hurt her to see her brother in such a miserable state. He had completely transformed from a kind young man to a hellion of bitterness. Pollyanna shot a glare to Darcy for help, but Darcy backed away. Pollyanna sighed with anger, knowing that Darcy would never be of use. Pollyanna reached out and covered her hand against Howie’s hand. “Howie, just listen to me. You need to get up and start moving. You’ve been in this bed for two weeks straight since you came home from the hospital. It’s not good for your recovery. Mom and dad are broken in two, because they don’t’ know how to help you. Stop pushing us away. We love you and want to help. Why won’t you let us help?”

“Because you can’t give me back my legs, Polly!” Howie hissed in frustration. He was tired of the delusions his family weaved about him being able to make a full recovery. His family only tormented him with the pain of his loss. Darcy always told him to stop moaning and get over the loss. His mother wept for him. His father prayed constantly at his bedside. His siblings acted as if nothing were wrong with the situation. No one bothered asking Howie what he thought or needed. They were too busy and entangled in their own problems of Howie’s accident. They were driving him completely insane.

“Howie, I know I can give you back the ability to walk, but you don’t have to be so sarcastic!”

“Polly�””

“AJ, Kev, Nick, and Brian are here,” Pollyanna blurted suddenly, unable to cope with Howie negative emotions any longer. She needed a break or she would go insane. The boys had to come in before she started yelling at her little brother. She feared she might say something she would regret later. She just wasn’t used to seeing Howie so pessimistic. She wanted her brother back, but feared that it was too late.

“Excuse me?” Howie growled.

“The boys are here to visit. They want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Tell them that I’m sleeping,” Howie ordered.

“Too late,” a husky voice called out into the room. Howie glanced upward to see his four best friends and band-mates shuffle forward into his master bedroom. He groaned inwardly, realizing that AJ had been the first one to speak. He was amazed at the boldness of the group. They stood in the room, but they all looked at the floor. They seemed unable to look Howie directly in the eyes for fear of the guilt they might feel.

“You didn’t have to come,” Howie told them with a bitter roll of his tired eyes. He expected as much from the boys. When they glanced down at the cold sheet outlining his useless legs, they winced because they saw failure. Howie was well aware of the boys’ feelings toward his failure or any type of failure for that matter. Without the ability to walk, dance, or move �“ Howie couldn’t continue to be a music entertainer. The questions lighted against his friends’ eyes. Could he still remain a part of the Backstreet Boys? Would he be able to do tours? Could he even get away from the maniac fans if need be? Would the group breakup because of Howie’s failure?

“We wanted to come,” Kevin, the eldest of the boys, announced. He shifted his gaze away from Howie’s worthless legs to finally look into his eyes. The rest of the boys waited for Kevin to continue, knowing that he would lead them in the right direction. Kevin was immediately troubled with the deadness radiating in Howie’s usually warm eyes.

“How are you?” Brian asked when Howie said nothing to Kevin. He, unlike Kevin, avoided Howie’s eyes. Brian was the most religious Christian in the group and always had faith in God’s decisions. However, Brian was having trouble accepting God’s plans for Howie. How did God want Howie to succeed in his singing talents if Howie couldn’t move without a wheelchair? Brian didn’t think it seemed fair for God to punish a person as loyal to God as Howie was.

“Brian, I can’t feel my legs and the rest of my body has been beaten to Hell. How do you THINK I am?” Howie snapped with an irritated growl.

Pollyanna winced as the boys backed away from the bed. They could already see that Howie had no plans of accepting them back into his crumbling life. AJ still felt too guilty to speak to Howie and he moved himself to stand next to the door. AJ had still blamed himself for Howie’s condition.

“We’re sorry, Howie,” Nick whispered painfully.

“I am, too,” Howie grumbled.

“Howie!” Pollyanna scolded, giving the boys an apologetic look. She had hoped the boys would raise Howie’s weak spirits, but they only seemed to crush his spirits further into the dirt. Her plan was failing miserably. Howie was not willing to cooperate with anything or anyone. He just wanted to be left alone to sulk in misery.

“Polly, I’m tired,” Howie complained, ignoring Pollyanna’s glare.

“But, Howie�”” Pollyanna felt lost as she tried desperately to complete her plea.

“Wait, it’s okay, Polly. It’s late anyway. We should be getting back. We have some things to get around to tomorrow,” Kevin interrupted, knowing that Pollyanna was floundering. The boys passed Kevin worried glances, but Kevin shrugged his shoulders. He gave Pollyanna a quick kiss on the cheek, whispering softly, “Thanks, Polly. It was worth a shot and don’t blame yourself. After all, it was great to see you again.”

“Come back soon,” Pollyanna asked.

“Of course. It was great to see you, too, Darcy,” Kevin told Darcy, finally noticing that Darcy had been sneaking around the shadows. She gave a quick flick of her wrist to represent some kind of dismissal. Kevin suppressed a groan and rolled his eyes. Darcy had always seemed flaky to the boys. They didn’t approve of her, but still managed to support their friend in his decision to date her. “We’ll see you late, D,” Kevin announced.

“Bye, D,” the boys chorused meekly.

“Goodbye,” Howie called, watching with relief as the boys disappeared behind Pollyanna. Something in their eyes haunted him, because Howie knew the truth. He slumped backward onto his pillows, closing his weary eyes. He knew that the boys wouldn’t be coming back from the guilty looks expressed in their hollow eyes. They were band-mates after all. They were forced to bond in the beginning of their band relationship. They were not true friends that Howie decided to create a relationship with. Once their ties were broken from the band, their friendship would be over. Howie should have expected as much from them.

Howie finally opened his eyes to see Darcy gathering her things from his room. She hurriedly dumped her piles of makeup into a small leather case and rushed to gather her clothing from his closet. His heart jumped with worry. Something about her gestures frightened him. He didn’t want her to leave, too. “Baby? What are you doing?” Howie asked worriedly.

Darcy glanced up as she stuffed some of her skirts into a suitcase. “Sweetie, I’m leaving.”

“Why are you leaving?”

“I need to go to work, Honey.”

“But�””

“I’ll be back in a few days,” Darcy giggled,
snapping the suitcase shut. She hurried to Howie’s bedside, pressing a quick friendly kiss on his forehead. She smoothed out his curls before heading back toward the door. “I need a few days to get gowns ready for my clients and you need to rest anyway. Make sure that you take good care of yourself. Okay, Babe?”

“But�””

“Love you!” Darcy bellowed, hurrying out the door while slamming it shut.

Howie slumped further into his pillows, feeling tears gather at the corners of his eyes. It felt like the entire world was caving in on him. There seemed to be nothing left for him. His life was quickly passing him by while he waited for his damn legs to wake up. Growing furious at his predicament, Howie slammed his hand into his leg. He felt nothing in his leg from the painful blow and he wept alone, again.

Nicola smiled with amusement as Lucy came running by the kitchen table with Nicola’s brother, Danny, trailing closely behind her. Lucy squealed with amusement as Danny purposely missed grabbing her and kept screaming her name. Nicola sighed, this was a typical Sunday afternoon. Nicola and Lucy had gone to her mother’s home after church to spend the day with the family. Nicola had almost decided to break family tradition and go home to study her patient, but her mother would hear none of that nonsense. Her family knew how important Nicola’s job was to her, so her brother promised to keep Lucy entertained while Nicola read over her new patient’s file.

For now, Nicola was merely glancing at the file while Rosa-Lynn, Nicola’s younger sister, chattered incessantly. Nicola had tuned in and out of Rosa-Lynn’s one-person conversation. Rosa-Lynn loved to talk about anything. She always wanted to be the center of attention, because she was the middle child of the family. Rosa-Lynn found herself in messy situations when she tried to grasp for the limelight of the family. Sometimes, her outrageous antics would call all the attention to her, but it was always negative attention. Nicola prayed several times a day that Rose-Lynn would learn the difference between when to want attention and when not to want attention.

Nicola sighed, placing her pen down on the table. She stared at her sister, seeing Rosa-Lynn’s mouth moving at a fast speed. Nicola couldn’t even understand the words coming from Rosa-Lynn’s mouth. Nicola could only vaguely remember that Rose-Lynn was chattering about college. Nicola’s mother, Marie, was starting lunch for the hungry group. Nicola watched as Lucy ran by her once again, shouting for her mother’s rescue, but Nicola had to stay put while Rosa-Lynn maintained a lengthy conversation. Nicola was slowly becoming frustrated, because she knew better than to go to her mother’s home when she needed to study for work. Nicola loved her family more than anything, but Nicola knew that her family wanted her full attention when she visited and that gave her no time left to work on the new file.

“Nicola Grace Tilley!” Rosa-Lynn growled with annoyance after Nicola had spaced out for several moments. Rosa-Lynn glared at her sister, folding her arms across her chest.

“What?” Nicola asked innocently.

“You didn’t hear a word that I said!” Rosa-Lynn complained.

“It was something about college, wasn’t it?” Nicola guessed with a smirk.

“MOM!” Rosa-Lynn shrieked.

“Rosa, please, your sister is working for a client,” their mother, Marie Tilley, chided. Rosa-Lynn grumbled in protest, slouching down in her seat. Marie shook her head, flashing her eldest child, Nicola, a bright smile. Danny and Lucy came tearing by again, causing Marie to whirl around from her spot at the kitchen counter. “Daniel Colton! Don’t attack my grandchild!”

Nicola laughed, slouching back in her own seat at the kitchen table. Nothing seemed to change with her family, no matter how long she stayed away. Rosa-Lynn was always complaining about the burdens of being a middle child and Danny was always chasing something of personal interest.

Nicola loved her family dearly and nothing could change that in her heart. She accepted the bad and good of her family, but had the hardest time accepting that she had no father figure to depend on. Her father had left shortly after Danny was born, but her mother always moved forward, giving Nicola great strength in her own endeavors. Her mother was thirty-nine and still beautiful. Nicola admired her mother in so many ways and was glad that her mother accepted Nicola’s early pregnancy with Lucy, because Marie had become pregnant with Nicola at seventeen. The women held a unique mother-daughter bond that could never be burned.

“So, who’s your patient?” Rosa-Lynn asked, brushing off their mother’s chiding as if it were a flake of dust. Nicola rolled her eyes with annoyance. Rosa-Lynn had always been nosy. She was nineteen years old and currently enrolled in the Florida State University for journalism. She was a little less than five feet, seven inches, with indigo eyes and straight blonde hair trimmed neatly at her shoulders. She was lean and athletic with a sharp attitude that always seemed to get her in trouble.

“Rosa, that’s personal information!” Nicola scolded immediately, glancing back at her folder. She could see Rosa-Lynn trying to peek at the information. Nicola smacked Rosa-Lynn on her shoulder, causing Rosa-Lynn to whine and fall back into her chair. Nicola snapped her folder closed, glaring at her sister. “I could get fired if I gave you that information!”

“Rosa, go upstairs and get Lucy a few toys,” Marie ordered when she saw Lucy and Danny stumble into the kitchen with weariness. Lucy collapsed into her mother’s lap, burying her face into her mother’s chest. Nicola smiled, kissing the top of her daughter’s head and running her fingers through Lucy’s thick locks. Rosa-Lynn gave her mother a sour glare, but finally trudged upstairs. “How is my baby?” Marie cooed at Lucy.

“Just fine, Grammy!” Lucy announced, beaming a happy smile at her grandmother.

“Good, Sweetheart!” Marie laughed, kissing Lucy’s flushed cheek. Lucy giggled, glancing up at her mother when Nicola finally opened the file again. Lucy studied her mother’s face as she poured over the information. Lucy sat back in Nicola’s lap, snuggling up to her in peace.

“Shh, Uncle Danny! Mommy’s working!” Lucy scolded when Danny tried to ask Nicola a question. Lucy wagged her finger at Danny, causing Marie to laugh.

“What a brat,” Danny huffed.

“No, no, no! Mommy’s angel!” Lucy disagreed. Danny groaned, grabbing his face with his hands. He glanced at his eldest sister, deciding to take his chances with the monster.

“Nicola, is that jerk making you work on a Sunday, again?” Danny blurted, grabbing Lucy and tickling her before she could protest. Danny was sixteen and a junior in high school. He was a thin boy with sandy blonde curls, which he made into spikes. He had beautiful hazel eyes and a lanky six-foot frame. He was extremely protective of the women in his family since he was the only man of the house.

“I picked up the file on Saturday,” Nicola explained, watching her mother frown with disapproval. Nicola’s family disapproved of Dr. Jacobs’ abuse against Nicola’s kindhearted nature. Marie also saw a different light in Dr. Jacobs’ eyes when he watched Nicola. “Momma, I’m the only one available to do this home therapy and the patient wants to start on Monday!”

“Can’t Dr. Jacobs do the therapy for one day while you gather your necessary information?” Danny growled, his hazel eyes dancing with anger.

Nicola groaned, with agitation, knowing that she had just traveled into dangerous territory with her family. Her family loathed Dr. Jacobs and Nicola felt as if she were pinned in the middle.

“Danny, I need to do this job for Lucy. There’s no way that anyone else can do it,” Nicola finally sighed.

“For me?” Lucy asked, not really understanding the conversation. Her large teal eyes glittered with surprise.

Nicola smiled, kissing her daughter. “Of course, I do everything for you, Sweetheart.”

“Dr. Jacobs is still a jerk,” Danny grumbled. “Why can’t you just open your own clinic?”

Nicola groaned. Her family always asked the same questions when she visited. Nicola was always apt to give the same answers, too. The past prevented her from moving on in her career. Her family knew her reasons, but still persisted in annoying her with the questions. Nicola took a deep breath,
gathering her nerves. “Danny, you know that I don’t have the type of funds to do such a thing.”

“But, Nicola�””

Rosa-Lynn interrupted the heated conversation when she offered Lucy some My Little Ponies from upstairs. Nicola sighed with relief, glad to be out of the hot spot. Lucy clapped her hands and ran into the living room to play with the toys. Danny took a deep breath, sitting back in his seat. Rosa-Lynn sat by her sister, immediately wanting to change the subject. “What’s wrong with your patient this time?”

“Excuse me?” Nicola coughed, almost choking on her soda.

“Is he loaded?”

“Rosa-Lynn!” Marie scolded.

“Can we just kick her out?” Danny asked eagerly. Nicola held in a laugh. Rosa-Lynn still lived at home and commuted to college. Rosa-Lynn wasn’t ready to leave the nest like Nicola did at seventeen years of age. Rosa-Lynn planned to wait, which was fine with Marie.

“Mom, home therapy costs tons of money! The patient has to be rich to be able to pay for Nicola’s type of treatment!” Rosa-Lynn exclaimed, trying to defend herself.

“Rosa, just shut up!” Danny groaned.

“Kids!” Marie sighed.

“Guys! Chill! The man had an accident that
caused severe damage to his spinal cord. He also broke both of his femurs causing severe nerve damage. He’s paralyzed at his legs, but he can control his bladder and feel sensations at the hips. The doctor says he’ll never walk again,” Nicola explained quickly, ending the argument between her younger siblings.

“Oh my! That poor man!” Marie gasped.

“How’d he do that?” Danny asked. He stood up and went to help their mother with the salad. He glanced back at his older sister with interest. Danny liked to here of the injuries that were caused by sports. Nicola could always see Danny wanting to become a Paramedic.

“He was water-skiing and the line broke,” Nicola explained, shuffling through some papers.

Suddenly, Rosa-Lynn dropped her book that she had been glancing at and started shrieking. Lucy called from the living room to have Rosa-Lynn stop. Nicola cringed, cupping her hands over her ears. Rosa-Lynn grabbed Nicola’s arm, tugging her up from the seat and began to jump around. “I KNOW WHO YOUR PATIENT IS! NIC! I KNOW WHO YOUR PATIENT IS!”

“Rosa-Lynn, would you breathe!” Nicola yelped, trying to free her arm.

“Howie Dorough! Your patient is Howie Dorough!”

Nicola was dumbfounded when Rosa-Lynn called out the correct name. Her jaw hung slightly ajar as she stared at her sister. She closed her folder in shock. She took a deep breath, trying to gather her senses. Everyone became deathly quiet in the room, allowing Nicola to hear her heart thump against her ribcage. “H-How did you know that?”

“From Teen People! Duh!”

“What?”

Rosa-Lynn snorted, “Don’t you know who Howie Dorough is, Nic?”

“A man with an injury?” Nicola guessed.

“Not just any man! Howie Dorough is a singer from the Backstreet Boys! He’s gorgeous and extremely rich! The Backstreet Boys are famous around everywhere. Girls are walking around with his face plastered on their shirts! His story is all over the news. Don’t you ever pay attention to the media?” Rosa-Lynn complained.

“Rosa, I’m not a teenybopper!” Nicola answered gruffly, sitting back in her seat with amazement. She didn’t believe that she would be helping a celebrity gain back his life. Not that it really mattered to her. The man would receive the same treatment as any other patient, no matter what his status. He would not get special treatment just because he had extra zeros in his bank account.

“I’m not a teenybopper! I’m a mature fan!” Rosa-Lynn whined.

“Yeah, sure! You have all their faces plastered in your bedroom like a shrine,” Danny snorted.

“Do you think you could introduce me to Nick Carter, Nicola? He’s so freaking hot! He’s one of Howie’s best friends in the group! Please?” Rosa-Lynn immediately bubbled, forgetting that Nicola’s patient had a traumatic injury occur in his life.

“Rosa-Lynn!” Nicola groaned with disapproval. “I’m going to be helping a devastated man put his life back together and you’re worried about some bizarre love affair that you have? How shallow could you possibly be?”

“I’m sorry.” Rosa-Lynn grinned. “Figured I’d at least give it a shot.”

Nicola was in shock as she stepped out of her new, metallic purple PT Cruiser. Glancing at this vast house made her feel foolish about being thrilled over getting a brand new car. She blushed furiously, slamming her car door in grief. She walked toward the large door of her new patient’s home with a feeling of regret. She immediately imagined stuffy rich busybodies pushing her around and steering her in wrong directions. The house could probably fit ten of her homes into it with room to spare. Nicola prayed that she would make a good impression for her business’s sake. Dr. Jacobs would not be pleased if the biggest client in his department berated his clinic to his wealthy friends, literally plunging the clinic into bankruptcy. Nicola gathered her nerves and stepped up to the large oak door, rapping on it lightly. She quickly smoothed her white button up shirt. She waited with baited breath to be received.

It wasn’t long before a plump older woman answered the door. Nicola smiled warmly when the woman quickly ushered her into the home. The woman had warm brown eyes that calmed Nicola’s nervous emotions. There was something about the woman that reminded Nicola of her own mother. She sighed with relief as the woman smiled and took her coat into a nearby closet. Nicola was thrilled that the patient’s family wasn’t stuffy enough to hire a butler.

“You are my Howie’s physical therapist, right?” the woman asked brightly.

“Yes, my name is Nicola Tilley. Dr. Jacobs assigned me to this case. I’m sure that he already informed you of those details. It’s definitely a pleasure to meet you…um… I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t know your name,” Nicola whispered with a blush tinting her cheeks.

“Oh! Forgive me! I’m Howie’s mother, Paula Dorough,” the woman laughed merrily.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Nicola politely replied.

“Likewise! Our family is so grateful that you came early and in such a short time. We were fearing the worst from his depression! Howie’s been so devastated since the accident. I’m sure that you’ve dealt with these types of problems before. But, we’re just terribly worried. He’s not himself anymore. He’s usually so cheery, but not being able to walk, let alone dance, has completely taken the life out of my son. We don’t know what to do to help him. His sister, Pollyanna, stays with him every day to help him, but he has no fight left in him. We are completely lost. We hope that you can help us, because he’s such a great boy. We trust in what God does, but it’s just hard to understand why He’s punishing such a good boy,” Paula explained sadly.

“It must have been very tough on your whole family,” Nicola sympathized. She knew what kind of devastation that spinal injury of a loved one brought. She had dealt with these issues on a personal level in her own life, but hated to discuss the issue. The devastation was still raw, no matter how many years had passed. Nicola sighed, shifting her duffle bag carefully to her other shoulder. She promised that she would do everything in her power to help this man. She made a vow to each client that she would improve the quality of life, no matter what the circumstances.

“Yes, we’ve uprooted our lives to make sure that he’s comfortable.”

“That’s loyal. Not many families would do such a thing.”

“Yes, but my family is dedicated to one another, no matter what. Is your family the same?”

“Of course, my sister, my brother, and my mother are always visiting me. They help me through everything that I need to do. That’s why I’m so strong in the first place. That’s also the reason that I decided to go into physical therapy medicine.”

“Then it’s good that you came to our family to help us!” Paula enthused.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now, Mrs. Dorough�””

“Please call me Paula,” the woman interjected immediately.

Nicola smiled, thanking God for this wonderful woman. She knew that this woman would make her work at this home easier. She reminded Nicola of her own mother in so many ways, which made Nicola warm inside. She knew that the two women, if they met, would become instant friends. “If you insist that I use your first name, then I must insist that you call me Nicola.”

“That’s fine, Dear.”

“So, where is Mr. Dorough?”

“Nicola, he’ll want you to call him by his nickname: Howie. He thinks that his father is Mr. Dorough,” Paula explained as she brought Nicola into the kitchen. Paula turned toward the kitchen counter, pouring herself a cup of fresh coffee. She offered some to Nicola, but she quickly declined.

“I’ll wait for Mr. Dorough to give me consent, Paula.”

Paula laughed harder, “That’s fine, Dear! Howie’s brother, John, went to get him ready for the therapy. Your boss said that you’ll be able to do the therapy in the exercise room, so John will take him there. When he’s ready, John will get you and show you where to go.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Before Paula could speak again, there was a loud trampling of several pairs of feet. There was a shriek of delight as three women and two men burst into the kitchen. Nicola jumped back as the crowd almost tumbled into her. She couldn’t help but laugh as one woman blurted, “Is the physical therapist here yet?! I hear that they’re single and good looking!”

“I am single and thank you for the compliment,” Nicola teased automatically, unable to resist.

“That is the family crew,” Paula announced with a click of her tongue. The group fell silent as the woman immediately blushed in realization. Paula placed her hands on Nicola’s shoulders. “They’re crazy, but we love one another equally. This is Nicola Tilley. She’s going to be Howie’s physical therapist. Nicola, this is my husband, Hoke. John is my son that I’ve already told you about. Then these are my daughters, Pollyanna and Angie. Then, this woman is Darcy�””

“Howie’s GIRLFRIEND!” a busty brunette declared with an intimidating stare. Nicola took a deep breath, refusing to roll her eyes in disgust. She was not impressed with the woman’s fiery attitude. Nicola knew already that Darcy was a leech upon this family. The family glanced at her with distaste, disapproving of her rudeness. Nicola was very good at judging the character of others and she knew that Darcy was foul. The family could also tell that Darcy was already intimidated by Nicola’s natural beauty. Darcy folded her arms against her chest in hostility, refusing to be budged in any direction.

“I’m glad to know that you are so dedicated to your boyfriend,” Nicola answered sweetly.

Darcy glanced at Nicola with a puzzled stare. She snorted in disapproval, “Yes, I love him.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Nicola replied politely, not commenting anything further toward Darcy’s nasty behavior. She would not be sucked into a petty argument on her first day. She was at work and needed to be respectful, no matter how rude others could be.

“Will you help Howie?” Angie called curiously.

“Yes, I will do my best, but I want to tell you that I hardly ever fail!” Nicola said with a grin, causing the others to laugh.

“Great!” John whooped. “Howie is waiting at the exercise room for you. Do you want me to take you there?”

“Yes, that’d be great,” Nicola agreed, glancing at the others. She offered a small wave, causing them to smile. “Thank you all. I’ll make sure to say goodbye to you once I’m done with Mr. Dorough’s therapy.”

Pollyanna waited until Nicola was gone with John on her new adventure before she dared speak again. She grinned happily at her mother and sister. It was already too obvious what kind of role Nicola would play in Howie’s sad life. From just a short few minutes with Nicola, the family had fallen in love with her sweet personality. She would do Howie’s heart wonders if he could open up long enough to let her work her charm.

“She’s gorgeous!” Pollyanna announced.

“Very cute,” Angie agreed, glancing at their mother.

“She’s a sweetheart, too,” Paula laughed.

“If you like plastic!” Darcy snarled, glancing at the girls with betrayal. Her face turned red in fury that the others would say such things. The women glanced at her with surprise. Darcy snorted, “It’s obvious that she had work done. No one can be that perky and beautiful without some serious work!”

“And you would know because?” Pollyanna asked, arching her eyebrows with amusement.

“I…” Darcy was stumped. She hurriedly snatched her purse from the kitchen table. She smoothed out her tight tank top against her stomach. She glared at Pollyanna. “I’m going to go check on Howie to make sure that he approves of the trailer-trash-reject!”

“Someone’s jealous,” Angie sang as Darcy hurried out of the kitchen.

“She should be,” Paula agreed with a knowing smile.

Nicola stepped carefully into the weight room behind her client’s brother. She heard a short conversation between her client and his brother while she memorized her surroundings. She hoped that he had equipment that would be of use to her planned therapy. She found herself amazed at her client’s exercise room. It had almost every single piece of equipment that would be of use to her program. She could only dream of owning this much equipment for toning and building muscle tone! The other half of the exercise room also contained relaxing items like a Jacuzzi, sauna, and massage table. The farthest wall was made completely of glass with her client’s Olympic size pool sitting right outside. The pool led directly into the exercise room by swimming beneath the glass wall.

Nicola was stunned into silence as her client’s brother ushered her forward to her client and immediately left the room. She glanced back to see the door shut quickly. She was finally alone with her client, but she had never spoken to him before. Usually, she would call to confirm her appointment with clients so she could at least familiarize herself with their voices. However, she had not been given that privilege. Nicola noted a hunched shadow sitting among the equipment, which had yet to welcome her to his home or greet her with a simple hello. Out of initiative, Nicola stepped forward awkwardly, unprepared for what the shadows contained.

“Hello? Mr. Dorough?” Nicola called into the shadows of the room. She sighed with relief as her client finally rolled into the light. Nicola was thankful that he held no visible scars of his accident, but she could already see the signs of depression sinking into his soul. His dark curls lay in a messy heap against his forehead. The thick and tangle curls set off a haunted expression in his murky brown eyes. His strong shoulders sagging forward in deep agony as he braced his obviously aching arms against the pads of the wheelchair’s arms. The heavy dark bags of worry and narcissism were settling beneath his tired eyes. He looked physically strong and as if there were no flaw in his abilities, but he looked emotionally sick. Nicola admitted to her heart that he was handsome, but extremely disturbed. She knew that she had a lot of work to prepare for. “Mr. Dorough?”

“Yes, that’s me,” the man finally answered.

“I would hope so. It’s good to meet you. I’m Nicola Tilley. Dr. Jacobs’s office sent me over for your physical therapy,” Nicola explained, sitting down on the bench press near his wheelchair. She recalled his mother saying that this was one of the first times Howie had ever willfully gotten into his wheelchair. Nicola removed her sweatshirt in preparation for warming up, revealing a tight white tank top beneath. She watched as Howie finally glanced up at her, almost instantly allured by her physical features. Nicola ignored his precious stares and continued with her normal speech. “You can use my first name, Nicola, if you would like.”

“You can call me Howie, but it doesn’t really matter at this point,” he announced.

The blunt statement immediately crashed against Nicola without preparation. She leaned forward, unable to understand what he was implying. She smiled uncertainly. “Why wouldn’t it matter, Howie?” she asked.

“You should already know.”

“Know what?”

“Why I won’t be needing your services after today,” he stiffly replied, leaning forward in his wheelchair. His back ached with pain. The disks caused discomfort every waking hour. His legs were numb, which prevented him from feeling the pain of two broken femurs. He ran his right hand through his messy locks, somewhat annoyed at Nicola’s foolishness.

“Why won’t you be needing my services? Dr. Jacobs scheduled me to your therapy for several months�””

“I DON’T NEED THERAPY!” Howie finally exploded, unable to hand the stupidity any longer.
Nicola’s mouth hung ajar at his angered words. She sighed with regret, knowing that Howie was probably still dealing with the denial stage of his trauma. It was impossible to reach patients still suffering with denial. Nicola sighed in grief, this would be a difficult case for her to work, but she was up to the challenge.

“Howie, why don’t you think you need therapy?” she asked calmly, hoping to break through Howie’s bitterness and resentment.

“Have you even stopped to take a good look at me, Nicola?” Howie sneered, pointing toward his useless legs. “Or are you as blind as the rest of those idiots? If you haven’t noticed, I’m a DAMN CRIPPLE! I’ll never walk again according to all those overpaid quacks! I’ve gone to every God-awful hospital in search of another answer. But, Hell, all the answers careened back to the obvious answer. I’LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! Why would I do therapy when we know the truth? Therapy can make others better, but it’s not for permanent cripples. Therapy is useless to someone like me! So, please see yourself to the door before I become any more angered at the situation. I am hopeless and helpless!”

Nicola allowed Howie’s hateful words to hang in the air while she stared at him. She knew that the bitterness had take hold of whatever Howie had left in his broken soul. She understood why Howie reacted the way he did, but she was still angered. He reminded her of someone from her own jaded past. She refused to be sucked back into her painful memories. She had already dealt with each issue, suppressing the emotions that had labeled her immobile for several months. She would forget again.

Nicola tugged at her stray curl, struggling to control her own temper. She glanced at him and then leaned forward again, composing her words. “Would you like my opinion?” she finally asked.

“Do I really have a choice?” he grumbled.

“No, not when you act like a two-year-old.”

“Then, yes, I would love your opinion,” he announced sarcastically.

“I did plenty of research before I attempted to come to your house on my gracious terms. I have looked into your file and it’s very said to see that your talents on stage have crashed, but it’s not the end of your life. Physical and occupational therapy can help you get on with your life. These therapies teach your muscles to become strong and allow you to do normal activities in a unique way. As for not needing it, you couldn’t be more wrong. Without therapy, you won’t be able to even lift yourself off your wheelchair. You will become totally disabled and weak. The muscles in your legs will shrivel up and waste away from a lack of use, we call that atrophy. Not to mention the long periods of sitting in one position will cause your skin to deteriorate and die. Have you ever heard of bedsores? And if they become infected, God help you, because amputation in sometimes the only curse. And if you don’t use the muscles in your arms, the same will happen to them. You will become stiff and unable to move at all. Then you’ll really be damned.”

Howie fell silent from Nicola’s calm and threatening words. He refused to dignify her pressures with answers, although he became somewhat nervous over the nasty words. However, it seemed to Nicola that a stubborn streak had exploded against her words. She knew that she had lost the battle for the day. Nicola sighed with defeat, reaching down to pull her sweatshirt back on. There would be no therapy today. She didn’t know what else to really do for him, knowing that she had probably blown all the communications between them. She quickly heaved her duffle bag onto her shoulder, glancing to see Howie staring at her.

“Did you want to say something?” Nicola asked somewhat hopefully.

Howie held his silent tongue.

Nicola groaned. “You know, you don’t have to have therapy. However, I did tell you the consequences if you choose not to have therapy. I was not lying about those things, no matter what you think. You have the number to Dr. Jacobs’s office if you would like to cancel therapy, but your family has my number. If you decide that you really do need therapy, please don’t hesitate to call me,” Nicola explained softly, glancing at Howie for some sort of response. However, he gave none. Nicola shrugged her shoulders, walking out of the room without looking back. When the door closed, the sunshine from the windows seemed to evaporate beneath the dark clouds, leaving Howie to remorse alone.

Howie sighed hatefully when he slowly wheeled himself toward the kitchen. Somehow, Howie had managed to stumble into his wheelchair from the bed in search of food. He was tired of being in bed without company, although he loathed the heavy chair that limited his physical abilities. However, the chair wasn’t entirely what was plaguing him. His physical therapist had stayed away from him for four entire days. Howie was becoming fearful about the gnawing words she had hissed toward him in the heat of anger. True to Nicola’s word, Howie’s body had become stiffer than before. Howie could barely raise his arms above his head without crying out in agony. Howie was even sore in places that he had never thought could be sore.

When Howie slowly wheeled himself into the vast kitchen, all time seemed to stop for his sister. Pollyanna had offered to stay in Howie’s home while he was healing. Her parents were too stressed to deal with the situation and Howie’s other siblings were busy with families of their own. Pollyanna expected that she would be waiting on Howie at his bedside every day that she stayed. However, when she saw Howie slowly wheeling himself to the kitchen table, she dropped her box of cereal in shock. Pollyanna expected that she would be waiting on Howie at his bedside every day that she stayed. However, when she saw Howie slowly wheeling himself to the kitchen table, she dropped her box of cereal in shock. The cereal spilled across the floor and flew up into Pollyanna’s hair, causing Howie to offer a vague smirk.

“What are you… I mean… You’re up… I, wow!” Pollyanna gushed, unable to finish any of the sentences she prepared. Howie nodded with another small smile, causing Pollyanna to squeal. She quickly stepped over the spilled cereal and reached Howie. She bent down and layered her younger brother’s face with warm kisses. “What are you doing up?” she finally squealed.

“It’s my house, Polly,” Howie replied somewhat bitterly.

“Don’t get defensive, Howard,” Pollyanna immediately chided. “You haven’t been out of that bed since your first physical therapy training. You’ve locked yourself away. I have every right to ask why you’re out of bed.”

Howie winced, knowing Pollyanna was right. “I was tired of sleeping, you know? My bedroom only has so many views. I was bored out of my mind, Polly. So, I want to come join you for breakfast. Do you think you could make me something? I’m seriously hungry,” Howie explained politely, carefully pulling himself to the table and locking the wheelchair.

“I’d be happy to make you something!” Pollyanna enthused. “What would you like?”

“Pancakes sound good to me.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” Pollyanna answered. She walked to the cabinets, quickly gathering the needed supplies for Howie’s pancakes. She was deliriously happy that Howie had actually crawled out of bed. Their mother would absolutely be thrilled with the new results. This was the break in Howie’s coldness that the family had been praying for. She hoped this would end his tantrums and allow him to see the good things Nicola was trying to provide. Pollyanna glanced back to see Howie rubbing his arms. His face was contorted in a look of anguish, causing Pollyanna to narrow her eyes in suspicion. “You okay, baby brother?”

“What?” Howie groaned, unable to shrug his shoulders in question. He felt defeated as he laid his throbbing arms on the table. He hurt worse than when he decided to get out of bed. He was beginning to understand that something terribly wrong was occurring in his body, but he was afraid to admit that his physical therapist might actually be right. He had acted so ill toward the woman, who only wanted to offer assistance to his dilemma.

“I asked if anything was wrong,” Pollyanna repeated.

“Polly?” Howie trailed.

“What’s the matter? Are you having more pain than the usual?” Pollyanna guessed, seating herself beside Howie. She watched him wince in recognition and draw a puzzled look across his silent features. She had found the exact source of Howie’s somber attitude. She reached out to rub Howie’s arm gently. “Don’t look so surprised. Your physical therapist, Nicola Tilley, spoke with us after you practically threw her out of the appointment.”

“Polly, I do feel bad about that. Don’t rub it in. It’s like pouring salt into an open wound.”

“It’s the truth.”

“I know, but what did she tell you before she left?”

“Nicola explained to us that without your therapy that you’ll start to become worse. Not using your muscles causes them to shrivel up, stiffen, and die. Without using them, you’ll soon loose complete control of muscles that you had been able to use and you won’t be able to move at all. She also said you need to keep the muscle tone in your legs in case some medical miracle comes around and gives you the ability to walk again. Then she mentioned that laying in the same position all day with cause the breakdown of skin. You know, bed sores? And if the bed sores get infected there are chances of death or amputation, depending on where the sore is.”

“Do you believe her?” Howie asked.

“Of course! Why would Nicola lie about something like that?” Pollyanna gasped.

Howie sighed with defeat. He bowed his head, allowing his short curls to fall across his forehead. He began to feel guilty about lashing out at the innocent woman. She had just wanted to help his situation. She had done nothing ill toward him. “I was a complete asshole, for lack of better words, wasn’t I, Polly?”

“Honestly, yes.”

“I screwed up,” Howie complained.

“Oh, Howie! It’s truly fixable! Nicola has been calling us every day to make sure that you’re still doing okay. She tells us every day to remind you that all you need to do is call her. If you call her, she’ll be over here as fast as she possibly can. She’s so sweet about it. She seems sad when she finds out you were still locking yourself away in your room. Mom is already smitten with her. It’s cute.”

“She wants me to call?” Howie asked in awe. His eyes sparked with some hidden emotion that Pollyanna had never seen before. Howie was genuinely shocked at the news, but also deeply touched. Nicola still called to check on him every day, even with him treating her so coldly. He barely knew the woman and yet she had already touched his soul in a way Darcy never had.

“Yes, she left you her home phone number to reach her.”

“Home number?” Howie choked.

“Yes, she was afraid that the office might misplace your message if you decided to call. Nicola does really care about your well-being. Howie, you need to give the girl another chance at helping you. She seems like a great person to know and be around.”

“And she’s beautiful, too,” Howie blurted quietly.

“What did you say?” Pollyanna gasped, obviously overhearing Howie’s private comment.

Howie’s cheeks immediately burned with embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but the damage had already occurred. He couldn’t deny his instant attraction to Nicola’s appearance. She was a beautiful woman with her long strawberry and honey colored curls tied back into a bun compliment her emerald and gold eyes. She was Howie’s height with slim hips and an ample amount of cleavage. The freckles sprinkled against her cheeks made the gold flecks in her eyes dance when she smiled at Howie. He couldn’t help noticing these things about Nicola. It was too tempting to stare at her.

“Howie?” Pollyanna asked with a smile.

“Don’t start, Polly. I said she was pretty, but that doesn’t mean anything special. I’m in love with Darcy,” Howie quickly objected, knowing exactly where Pollyanna was traveling in the conversation. His heart would not be so easily fooled by his sister.

“Darcy?” Pollyanna scoffed bitterly. “You mean the woman that hasn’t been here to visit with you for more than a week? The girl who never calls to see that you’re still breathing? The girl who tells you that she’s so busy? The girl who is too busy to even spend time with her hurt boyfriend? You’re trying to tell me that you love her?”

“Pollyanna, don’t start. Darcy is busy with those fashion sets. It’s not her fault. She does have a life that doesn’t revolve around me directly.”

“A life that doesn’t revolve around you even when you need her the most?”

“Polly!”

“Okay, okay, I get the point. Will you call?”

“Call? Call who?”

“Nicola,” Pollyanna growled.

“Oh, her, you want me to look like an ass?”

“Howie, you’ve always been an ass.”

“Polly…”

“You need her.”

“I know I do.”

“So, will you call Nicola?”

“Start my pancakes and we’ll see.”

Chapter 8 - Starting Anew

Nicola lazily stretched out on her living room carpet while Lucy played happily with her American Girl Doll named Josephina. Nicola listened to her daughter's happy chatter turn to a soft humming. Nicola watched while Lucy began to rock her doll to sleep. Lucy loved imitating her mother's actions with her doll, allowing Nicola to swell with pride. Nicola closed her eyes, thanking God again for her daughter. At seventeen, Nicola had thought her pregnancy a curse from the Heavens, but God had provided, nonetheless. In God's kind mercy, He had allowed Nicola to marry the caring man that she had created life with. Her lover and God had carried her through the messiest times in her life. However, just as God had provided for Nicola, He had also taken away. Now, she no longer had her husband to comfort her in the times of distress. Although it had been many years since the fateful accident, Nicola was still bitter.

"Mommy?" Lucy called, tugging softly on Nicola's denim shorts. Lucy had became irritated with her mother's laziness. Lucy's large eyes sparked with a happiness only a mother could create when Nicola scooped the child into her arms. Nicola immediately layered Lucy's rosy cheeks with kisses, causing Lucy to squeal with delight. Lucy wrapped her small arms around her mother's neck, squeezing her tightly at Josephina fell gently to the floor.

"Is that what you wanted?" Nicola teased after the final kisses.

"Yes, I wanted kissies, but... wait... There was something else I wanted, too... Mommy!" Lucy cried out, becoming extremely confused at her mother's intelligent guessing talents. Her cheeks turned bright red as the frustration grew inside her small body. "Mommy! That's no fair!"

Nicola laughed, kissing her daughter's forehead. She immediately noted that her daughter had retrieved a hairbrush from the coffee table, holding it expectantly. Nicola smiled with amusement. "Do you want me to do your hair, Lucy?"

"Yes," Lucy awed. "How'd you know, Mommy?"

"Lucy, you're holding Mommy's brush!" Nicola answered with a laugh.

Lucy glanced down at her small hands to see the brush settled in her little fists. Lucy glanced up with a playful glimmer dancing in her eyes. "Oh, yes!" Lucy declared with a silly giggle. With that said, Lucy plopped herself down into Nicola's lap. She reached up and tugged the ponytail out of her hair and handed it to Nicola. Lucy loved when her mother fussed with her hair and paid special attention to every detail. Lucy was a very affectionate child and always had been that way since she was an infant. Nicola adored the fact that her child was so lovable and had always dreamed of being able to have more children for Lucy to love, but it was unlikely. Alas, Nicola had no husband to feed her desire for more children.

"Mommy, can we go out for pizza tonight?" Lucy asked as Nicola slowly finished the last of two braids. Lucy's bright teal eyes watered with hope as she patted her mother's bare thigh in hopes for a pleasing response. Nicola mumbled something, causing Lucy to frown with disapproval. Lucy immediately smacked her mother's thigh harder, causing Nicola to jump. Lucy thrust out her bottom pink lip into a pout. "Mommy? Please?"

Nicola rolled her eyes with a joyous laugh. Lucy always knew how to tug on Nicola's heart-strings. Nicola pulled Lucy into a tight hug, nestling her child against her chest. Nicola loved taking her child for pizza. Everyone admired the beautiful couple as they waited for their food. "Sure! I'm hungry for pizza, too, Lucy."

"Good! We're hungry, too!" Danny called loudly as he ran into the living room without an invitation. Lucy squealed with delight at seeing her Aunt Rosa-Lynn following behind her Uncle Danny. Lucy squirmed away from her mother's hugs to leap into Danny's arms, showering him with affectionate kisses before moving to Rosa-Lynn for attention.

"Don't you ever knock?" Nicola complained with a groan. She pushed herself off the floor and grabbed Lucy's doll. Nicola ran her fingers through the doll's black hair while glaring at her brother. Rose-Lynn and Danny always intruded into the house when Nicola was looking forward to spending private time with Lucy. Nicola loved her siblings, but sometimes they became annoying. Nicola sighed in defeat, setting the doll on the couch in time for Lucy to jump back into her arms.

"Sorry! Mom told us to come pick up Lucy before you went to work, but, it's obvious that you won't be going to work today," Danny answered, glancing at Nicola with worry. He arched his eyebrows with confusion, praying that Dr. Jacobs hadn't done something to his sister. "Did Dr. Jacobs do something stupid again?"

"No, Danny," Nicola groaned.

"Then what's the matter?" Danny asked.

"It's not that big of a deal, Danny, just forget it."

"Is Howie okay?" Rosa-Lynn blurted, watching her siblings bicker.

"Rosa, Mr. Dorough's case is none of your business," Nicola immediately reprimanded.

"I just figured I'd ask! Jezz! The media is saying that the boys are ignoring him and they are planning on firing him from the group!" Rosa-Lynn complained, annoyed that her sister was so stressed about a simple question. Nicola bit down hard on her tongue, collapsing on the couch with Lucy in her arms. Nicola could never compete with her sister's outrageous behaviors.

"Rose, shut up," Danny hissed, sitting by Nicola on the couch. He reached out to brush away Lucy's honey curls, glancing at his older sister with worry. "Are you okay, Nic?"

"I'm having issues with my client, okay?" Nicola finally divulged, regretting that she had said anything.

"What kind of issues?" Rosa-Lynn inquired with interest.

"He's depressed about his injury and I think it might be hopeless," Nicola explained, realizing that she was breaking her patient confidentiality obligations. Nicola sighed, not really caring anymore, and began to rock Lucy back and forth in her arms. Nicola had called every day to see if Howie needed her, but the family had the same response on every occasion. Howie just wasn't ready for therapy. Nicola feared that Howie's body might become useless before he realized he needed her.

"I'm sorry," Danny whispered with regret.

"Me, too, Nic. I wished we could have helped in some kind of way... I would have laid off on the questions and all... But I didn't know it was that big of an issue," Rosa-Lynn immediately apologized, looking extremely sympathetic toward her sister's cause.

"Thanks," Nicola whispered gratefully. She was about to say something else, but the phone began to ring loudly. Nicola groaned, allowing Lucy to crawl into Rosa-Lynn's arms before she pushed herself off the couch. Rosa-Lynn took Nicola's place on the couch, bringing Lucy's doll into her arms to occupy Lucy. Nicola hurried to the phone in the kitchen when she saw that Lucy was fine. She leaned against the counter in her kitchen, grabbing the phone and speaking quickly, "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Nicola Tilley's residence?" a male voice questioned with nervousness.

"Yes, this is her. How may I help you?"

"Hi...um... it's Howard Dorough...ah...Howie--"

"How are you?" Nicola interrupted with relief. She had prayed he would call her. She had prayed every night that he would realize her importance to his situation. She realized though that God could not do everything to cure Howie. Nicola also needed to have some kind of break through with him if she intended to do him any good.

"It's been rough," Howie admitted honestly.

"Yes, I understand that it has been rough on you."

"I'm really stiff, too. I have immense pains in every part of my body."

"That's because you haven't exercised like I requested you do."

"I know. I am truly sorry for giving you such a rough time on your first day. I should have realized that this was new to you, too. I realize that I was an idiot. I just hope that you can accept my apologies," Howie announced softly.

"I forgive you. I know that this accident robbed you of many things that you probably took for granted. I can understand that you are frustrated. I should have realized that this was new to you, instead of just assuming for you. I'm really sorry for being so rough on you. So, we were both at fault."

"I suppose I can accept that."

"Same here," Nicola laughed softly. "So, is there anything else I can help with you?"

Nicola's question brought Howie into a long silence. Nicola heard him take a deep breath of recognition, realizing that he had to further make up for his ill actions. She knew this had to be hard for him to say. It was obvious that Howie held a lot of pride in his heart. He didn't readily ask for help unless he truly needed it. "My sister said that you've been calling the house every day to check in on me. I really appreciate that. No one has offered such kindness since the accident, excluding my family. So, I was wondering if the offer was still good?"

"What offer?"

"The offer for therapy."

"Oh! Of course! That offer is always open."

"Great, can we try again tomorrow?"

"Of course, I can be there at ten in the morning."

"Great! Miss-um... Can I just call you Nicola?"

"Sure!"

"Great, thanks, Nicola! You know, for everything," Howie replied gratefully. He allowed Nicola to say her goodbyes and ended the conversation with a smile on his face. Not knowing that Nicola also shared that same loving smile.

Chapter 9 – Defending the Nest

Darcy stalked through the living room as Pollyanna helped Howie change for his therapy session. She was pacing with nervous energy and annoyance. Darcy had been gone for over one week and came rushing back to Howie’s side when she heard Nicola was a permanent arrangement for Howie. Darcy wouldn’t have cared if Howie’s physical therapist had been an ugly woman or a man, but Nicola was different. Darcy knew that Nicola would be detrimental to her position in the Dorough household if given the chance. Darcy wanted to defend her territory. She refused to have another woman destroy what she had worked so hard to create and maintain.

“Darcy? What are you doing here?” Howie blurted with surprise when Pollyanna wheeled him into the living room. He didn’t expect to see her back so soon. Howie understood that she had several fashion shoots lined up. He knew her career was very important to her and he didn’t want to ruin her chances at scoring into the big time fashion projects. His family might have scorned her putting her career before his needs, but Howie recognized the need completely. Although, Howie had feared that he had lost his lover along with his friends to the crippling accident.

“Honey! Don’t be silly! I’m here because I love you and missed you terribly! I needed a break, too. Do you know how rough work is? All these girls hustled around me complaining about their thighs! Then another approached me to do a photo shoot by myself. They said that I’m too pretty to have other girls shadowing me. I just can’t be a fashion designer and model, but I love them both! But, I do need your kisses to make me feel better!” Darcy giggled, finishing her complaints. Without another word, Darcy attacked Howie with several heated kisses. Howie accepted each kiss with a blushing smile. Darcy gloated, knowing that Howie was thrilled to see her again.

“Darcy, you can have all the kisses you need!” Howie enthused, bringing Darcy’s lips quickly back to his own. He yearned for the touch of his lover. He needed to feel whole again. He needed something stable in his crumbling life. His friends had fled in terror, but he hoped that Darcy would remain true to him. He wanted everything to be normal again, but knew that would never occur. He could still obtain some kind of normalcy, but he needed Darcy’s love to be normal.

“You’re so sweet! I’ve missed you so much!” Darcy cooed, kissing him another time before falling onto the plush couch. Darcy said nothing to recognize Pollyanna, because she was too concerned in her own needs. Darcy, instead of offering a proper hello, snatched her never-ending purse to pull a small mirror from it. She flipped it open with one quick snap to check that Howie hadn’t smeared her perfect lipstick. When she was sure that her lipstick hadn’t been marred, she applied a fresh coat of gloss, and then slipped the mirror back into the purse.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Howie relished.

“Do you know what I was thinking?” Darcy bubbled, snapping her lip-gloss closed. Her dark eyes lit with delight at her sudden moment of reflection. She pursed her lips into an alluring smile, causing Howie to shiver with delight. He could never resist Darcy’s charms. “You could take me out to the new Italian restaurant that opened up near here. If you called now, I’m sure that they’d push us to a beautiful table! They absolutely love you, Honey! Could you do that for me?”

“Darcy–”

“No,” Pollyanna blurted, stepping into the conversation before Howie could agree. Darcy ignored her outburst however, because she had pulled her cell phone hastily from the bag to order reservations. Pollyanna seethed with annoyance, knowing that Howie couldn’t resist the nasty temptress. She knew Darcy could only hurt her brother and she wanted to protect him, even if it meant for him to become livid at her. Pollyanna leaned forward to snap the cell phone closed and spoke quickly before Darcy’s shrill cry emerged. “Howie can’t go out today.”

“Excuse me?” Darcy huffed with a sour glare toward Pollyanna.

“Nicola, Howie’s therapist, is due here at any moment. So, he’s going to be busy. He can’t take you out for Italian and he couldn’t very well drive you there himself, either. I’m sorry, Darcy,” Pollyanna cooed with a nasty smile, shielding her face from Howie’s view.

“Howie! You told me you quit therapy!” Darcy whined.

“He realized it was a mistake,” Pollyanna answered with a stern glare. She watched Darcy shift uncomfortably in her seat. Pollyanna couldn’t deny that she loved making Darcy squirm. There was a devilish streak that crossed Pollyanna’s usually cheery attitude when Darcy entered the picture.

“Howie!” Darcy snapped with annoyance, startling him.

“Darcy, I’m still really sore! Nicola says I need therapy to feel better. I want to feel better so I can dedicate more time to you, Baby. So, after therapy, we can order in from the new restaurant and have a special night together. I’ve missed having those special nights with you. Okay, Baby?” Howie compromised carefully.

Darcy immediately hesitated, frowning with obvious disappointment. Her plans were failing miserably because of Nicola. She wanted to hurt Pollyanna for interfering with her plans, but instead forced a sickly sweet smile. Darcy was about to speak another protest, but the doorbell chimed. Darcy growled when she watched Howie’s eyes light up. Darcy immediately knew that it was the snake that had come to poison her plans.

“Nicola’s here!” Pollyanna announced with delight. It was blatantly obvious that Pollyanna absolutely adored Nicola, which drove Darcy insane. Pollyanna smiled warmly at Howie and kissed his cheek, concealing her squeal of delight. “Why don’t you have Darcy wheel you to the exercise room and I’ll get Nicola?”

“NO!” Darcy interrupted loudly. Pollyanna and Howie glanced at her with bewilderment, not understand the wild outburst. Darcy quickly offered a coy smile to conceal her nasty plans. “Why don’t you let me answer the door? I haven’t even got to properly introduce myself to Nicola. I would like to do that since she’s definitely going to be an important key to getting my Baby better. So, Polly, I’ll answer the door and you can take my Baby back to the room.”

“Are you sure?” Howie hesitated as Pollyanna fell silent.

“Yes, I’m sure! Get! Go!” Darcy shooed, pushing Pollyanna and Howie out of the room. She sighed with relief when they disappeared down the hallway. Darcy quickly hurried toward the mirror beside the door when the doorbell chimed. She quickly fluffed her silky brown curls and adjusted her shirt. She pursed her lips with a smack to spread the lip-gloss about. She smiled, impressed with the image. She then swung the door open with a grand flourish, leaning on the opening of the doorway.

“I’m afraid we’re not looking to buy anything today,” Darcy answered crisply when Nicola came into view.

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m Howie’s physical therapist,” Nicola replied softly, swallowing her bitter words. Nicola knew that Darcy was completely aware of who she was. “Is Howie ready for therapy? He sounded pretty eager on the phone today, so I’m anxious to get started.”

“It’s Mr. Dorough,” Darcy snapped, “And he’s waiting for you in the exercise room.”

Nicola couldn’t respond as Darcy grabbed her and pushed her quickly into the house. Nicola stumbled a few steps, trying to regain her composure. She watched Darcy scrutinize her from head to toe, making Nicola shift uncomfortably. Darcy was disgusted and jealous of the beautiful woman. She mentally noted every characteristic on Nicola that she wished to destroy. Nicola was a natural beauty with strawberry-blonde curls that bounced playfully down Nicola’s back from the ponytail. Nicola’s sleek and gorgeous figure shined gloriously in the tight white tank top and baggy, black ADIDAS shorts. Her emerald eyes shone with a hidden desire as the sun reflected the golden sparks dancing about her irises. Darcy felt sick as she watched Nicola’s smile glow as if it were a gift from Heaven.

“Darcy Dominic, correct?” Nicola asked, trying to be as civil as possible with this hateful woman. She could already see through Darcy’s fa�ade. Nicola had always been a good judge of character, but no matter what type of vibe Nicola received, she her best to be pleasant to all.

“Yes, I’m Darcy,” the woman replied nastily, crossing her arms across her chest with an aggressive nature.

“Howie has told me a few things about you,” Nicola announced, picking her large bag of equipment up from the floor.

“Did he tell you that I’m the love of his life?” Darcy snorted.

“He told me that he was very fond of you,” Nicola lied, pushing the strap of her bag onto her shoulder. Howie had actually said nothing of Darcy to Nicola. Instead, Darcy had introduced herself to Nicola as Howie’s significant other. The woman was pushy and overbearing, just like Pollyanna had warned Nicola over the phone. Nicola quickly decided from that day that she would do her best to be pleasant with Darcy, no matter how much Darcy detested her. Nicola was there to help Howie recover, not to make close friends.

“Just be warned that we are very much in love,” Darcy hissed.

“Excuse me?” Nicola hesitated, immediately haunted by Darcy’s threatening manner.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Blondie. I know your type and the angle you’re going to use. I’ve seen Blonde Bimbo Barbies do this before. Howie is my man. He loves me and can never get enough of me, no matter how many trashy women enter his life. Just let it be known that he is mine. He shouldn’t even have to put up with this stupid therapy. He’s only going through the therapy to satisfy his mother’s nagging–”

“Darcy,” Nicola interrupted tiredly.

“What?” the older woman snapped.

“I’ve got to see my patient. They charge me by the hour and it’s not cheap,” Nicola explained, immediately pushing her way past Darcy. She didn’t need Darcy to guide her through the house. Nicola already knew the way to the familiar exercise room. When she entered the hallway, Nicola heard Darcy snort with annoyance.

“You’ve been warned!” Darcy screeched.

“Yes ma’am,” Nicola replied with a smirk. She continued down the hallway as if nothing had happened between her and Darcy. Nicola knew the truth as she let Darcy’s offensive words pass with the circulating air. Darcy was not a threat and Nicola understood that she shouldn’t waste her time with Darcy’s odious words, because it wouldn’t be long until Darcy faced a bitter reality.

Nicola felt tremors of anger seep into her muscles as she hurriedly ran from Darcy. The woman had completely unfurled Nicola’s exterior mask of professionalism. Nicola thought it might be hopeless, until she stepped into the exercise room. She felt relief crash against her body when Howie immediately greeted her with a smile. He sat in his wheelchair, gazing at her with curiousness. He seemed as if he had been pondering something before Nicola burst into the room. Nicola gathered her wits, believing that Howie had actually accepted his fate but was still grieving the loss of his mobility. Nicola wanted to immediately break the bereavement stage before he became much worse.

“I’m glad you came,” Howie greeted as Pollyanna excused herself quietly from the room. The door shut behind her, allowing Howie and Nicola complete privacy. Howie offered another smile, sensing that Nicola was still jittery. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but found his mind wandering as he admired Nicola’s beauty.

“Same here. How are you feeling?” Nicola asked, shaking off her previous encounters with Darcy. She immediately dumped her bag onto the floor, knowing that she must get right to the point. She pulled out a clipboard from the bag and seated herself on the floor directly in front of Howie. She clicked her pen, preparing to take notes about Howie’s condition.

“I’m really stiff. Sometimes there are sharp pains shooting down my back. The pain medication never helps the sudden bolts of pain. My arms ache every time I try to move them, but most of all, I’m really stiff,” Howie admitted quietly, swallowing his pride.

“You’re stiff because you’re not moving,” Nicola commented, furiously scribbling the symptoms on the report sheet.

“There’s a reason I’m not moving,” Howie retorted with a sour glare.

Nicola rolled her eyes, setting her clipboard down. She decided to effectively argue Howie’s bitter comment. She quickly rose to her knees to make direct eye contact with Howie. Her arms rested on the armrests of Howie’s wheelchair. “I wish you would realize that having a disability doesn’t make you invalid. There are many people worse off than you and achieving great dreams with their broken bodies. You can do great things, but you just have to do them in a different way. That’s why I’m here, so I can teach you that life isn’t over just because you have to use a wheelchair.”

“You sound like a T.V. Sitcom,” Howie finally answered, giving a teasing smile.

Nicola smiled back with relief, knowing she had broken away Howie’s outer shell. “I know I do. I should ask about getting paid for these extra encouragement boosters. So, are you ready to get started?”

“Get started with what?”

“I’m going to make you move your muscles with some passive range of motion exercises. Then I’m going to have you build up your upper body strength. After your upper body is toned you’ll be able to do a lot more things, like getting yourself in and out of the wheelchair and wheeling yourself around the house. But, that’s just for starters,” Nicola announced with a confident smile. “There’s a lot more that we’ll be doing to get you mobile, but I thought I’d just wet your appetite first.”

“Wow,” Howie murmured, watching Nicola peel off her sweatshirt to reveal a lavender tank top. Her tan shoulders glistened as the sun poured in from the ceiling windows and outlined every sleek and toned muscle in her body. Her strawberry-blonde curls fell past her shoulders in a silky fountain when she pulled them into a ponytail. Howie found himself tingling with delight when Nicola physically pulled him from his wheelchair. She carefully helped him to the floor, smiling when she wedged a small pillow underneath his head for comfort. “You’re seriously strong.”

“I’ve been doing this type of work for awhile,” Nicola laughed, seating herself at his feet. Carefully, she picked up Howie’s left leg. He said nothing as she began to bend his leg in various positions, stretching his muscles and increasing the circulation. Nicola noticed the smile on Howie’s face, causing her to smile back, but she quickly noted the smile was not directed at her. She glanced up to see Darcy peering into the window of the oak door with jealousy. Nicola smirked, glancing back at Howie. “Howie? What is one thing you hate about being paralyzed?”

“Besides not walking?” Howie questioned.

“Obviously.”

Howie grew quiet for a moment, but his eyes lit with an eager flame. He glanced up to make sure he had Nicola’s full attention, and he did. “I hate that everyone has to do everything for me. I feel like I’ve morphed back into a child again. I can’t even dress myself! I just wish I could do those things for myself, you know?”

“Yes, I do know that it must be frustrating not being able to do things on your own. Now, what if I told you I could make that happen?” Nicola asked, gently laying his left leg down. Her fiery smile caused tingles to race down Howie’s spine in excitement. He took a deep breath as she gently eased his right leg into her hands.

“Are you serious?” Howie choked.

“Extremely serious,” Nicola declared. She began the same exercises again on the right leg. “Many people in wheelchairs live by themselves and function normally. Some don’t need assistance because everything is built to accustom their specific needs. Some can even drive, too. However, some of them do occasionally do need help, but so does everyone else. I can teach you how, but we need to get your muscles strength back.”

“You would do that for me?” Howie asked in awe. He was choked by Nicola’s enthusiasm over his healing. He couldn’t believe that a woman would work that hard for him and he had been so cruel. Nicola didn’t owe him this kind of attention. She could have quit the project and no one would have blamed her. Instead, Nicola decided to work harder to make him feel better. He could never ask Darcy for that type of commitment.

“It’s my job and I’d be happy to help. So, will you work with me?”

“Of course!” Howie praised as Nicola set his right leg down. Carefully, she assisted Howie back into his wheelchair. She placed his numb feet against the holsters and then handed him two small barbells, instructing him to work on his upper body. “Can I ask you some questions now?”

“I guess,” Nicola murmured.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Single?”

“Very, although that’s not really appropriate.”

“You’re pretty, why are you so very single?” Howie asked, gazing at her curiously. He had never been one to pry into stranger’s affairs, but Nicola was extremely different. There was something about her that seemed to melt his inner being. She wedged herself down into his very core without even knowing the consequences. She was a fresh experience that allowed a new light to wash over his fading body. He liked that and didn’t want the feeling to leave him, too.

“I don’t date,” Nicola answered stiffly.

“Why?”

“Because I’m busy and I’ve been burned before. I guess I just don’t want to be hurt anymore,” Nicola mumbled, sitting down on the bench press with a heavy sigh. Her heart ached from the past memories that screamed inside her damaged heart. The memories coiled around her brain and squeezed, buts he forced them back into the darkness of her soul. She could not wallow in her pain any long. If she wanted to hurt, she would be left behind.

“Hurt? Who hurt–”

“Howie, can I ask you a question?” Nicola interrupted, unable to handle the intimate details of her affairs. Howie nodded slowly with approval. Nicola smiled meekly, searching for something to ask. Her mind wandered aimlessly without success. Before Nicola could rethink her wording, she blurted: “Can you tell me about the accident?”

“My accident?” Howie choked, dropping the barbells onto the floor. Nicola jumped with surprise at the loud clattering. Howie’s skin went terrible pale as traces of sweat slowly ran down his face. Nicola groaned inwardly, realizing her mistake immediately. Howie’s warm eyes turned dark with hatred and denial. His hands clenched into tight fists of pain. He wasn’t ready to talk about it yet and she had pried too deep.

“Howie, wait, I’m sorry–”

“No, Nicola, don’t,” Howie snapped, shaking from the terrible memories flooding his system. Tears of envy and devastation gathered in his tired eyes. He closed his eyes to block the memories, holding a hand to his throbbing forehead. “I think our session is over. I did really well today. We’ll meet again on Monday.”

“Howie—”

“Please, leave!” Howie shouted, his voice breaking from the deadly emotions. Nicola jumped to her feet from the threat in his voice. She hurriedly gathered her things and ran out the room, leaving Howie to weep alone.

*~*~*

“I AM SO UTTERLY STUPID! After all those years of training I still manage to blow it completely! Can I be any more retarded?” Nicola growled with disapproval as she hurried down the hallway of the Dorough household. She couldn’t understand why she let her own pain cloud her judgment. Howie’s painful sobs echoed against the back of her mind. She groaned, sagging against a nearby wall. She found herself wanting to scream in frustration.

“Is something wrong?” a familiar voice pondered.

Nicola immediately straightened and pushed herself off the wall. She was looking directly into Pollyanna’s worried eyes. Nicola blushed with embarrassment. She pulled the bag further up on her shoulder, straightening her posture. “Nothing is wrong–”

“Are you sure? Darcy just went flying out of the house. Usually, that means something is wrong with Howie. She never stays to find out what’s happening, because it’s not her area. She never cares what happens to him as long as her reputation is strong amongst the media.”

Nicola’s shoulders sagged forward with grief, causing the bag to crash to the floor. “I ask Howie about the accident. He wasn’t ready to talk about it and I couldn’t stop myself from asking. He’s just slowly starting to deal with reality and then I shoved it into his face like an infected carcass. I’m a complete idiot!”

“Nicola, it’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Mom and Dad will understand there was a small setback, they’re used to this happening. Howie just needs someone strong to stand up to him. Our mom thinks that you’re the one to take on that task. Just give him time, okay? He’s been out of it since the boys left him.”

“You act like I’m trying to start a romantic relationship with him,” Nicola joked, laughing uneasily.

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ Pollyanna thought with a smile. However, instead of repeating her thoughts, she simply shrugged her shoulders. “We know that your work is good for him. He’s a great guy, just don’t get upset when he falls back into the gutters,” Pollyanna explained softly.

“Okay,” Nicola laughed.

“Are you scheduled for Monday?”

“Yes.”

“Good, we can’t wait to see you again. You definitely brighten up the place.”

“Don’t you think we should visit him again?” Brian asked nervously, collapsing into a final resting place on Nick’s couch. The boys had arranged yet another meeting without Howie’s presence. They were struggling to find peace within themselves. They still couldn’t come to terms with the accident that deprived Howie from so many gifts. They had met many times since Howie’s fate was sealed in the waves, but all the meetings came to a dead end. No one knew what to do about Howie. Each boy feared visiting him, so they regretfully stayed away from the horror. No one had the nerve to admit their feelings to the others, so they sat around Nick’s living room with blank stares.

“The last time we visited, he threw books at us until we escaped from the room!” AJ exclaimed loudly, flinging his arms out to his sides in defeat. AJ still felt personally responsible for Howie’s accident. Everyone continued to tell him that it was just a freak accident of fate, but AJ never seemed to listen to the reasoning. While AJ tried to compromise the guilt in his heart he was dealing with Howie’s anger in the worst way. He had always been Howie’s best friend and closet link inside the group. Not being able to communicate with Howie was killing AJ’s heart.

“He doesn’t want any visitors either,” Nick agreed. He actually feared visiting Howie. Every time Nick gazed at Howie, he was overcome with a deep sense of grief. It was as if Nick were facing a death in the family. The same emotions of guilt, blame, helplessness, and anger melted against his wild personality and he hated those feelings.

“That’s not the point, Nick! He’s our friend and band-mate. He didn’t leave me when my father died. And Nick, when you broke your hand he was the one that took you to the hospital for treatment. Brian, he stayed all night in your hospital room after your heart surgery. Finally, AJ, he helped you get into rehab for treatment and visited every week until you felt fit enough to come home. Now, when Howie needs us most, you all won’t come to his rescue?” Kevin asked with disappointment, weighing all the boys’ opinions in his heart.

All the boys glared at him with pessimism. No one wanted to speak out against his thoughts. Kevin had hit a tender nerve amongst the boys’ thoughts. Kevin leaned back in his chair, watching AJ slip forward on the couch. Finally, AJ snorted, “Kev, don’t sit here and be Mister Tall and Mighty. This conversation cuts both ways! You haven’t exactly been nursing Howie’s needs either, right?”

Kevin hesitated, knowing he was caught. Nick and Brian glared at Kevin, sharing AJ’s same observations. Kevin glanced down in defeat. “It’s hard and you know it. Howie was there for us when there wasn’t any permanent damage! It was easier for him that it will be for us,” Nick decided.

“What the Hell are you talking about?” Brian protested in confusion.

“Brian, in case you hadn’t noticed, Howie’s a damned cripple!” AJ snapped, unable to handle the pressure of the conversation. The end of the line was coming and everyone could see it clearly as AJ tapped his hand on the coffee table. Every conversation tended to end with AJ stomping off into a dangerous rage.

“That doesn’t mean that he’s not our friend,” Kevin growled.

“But does it mean that he’s not our band-mate?” Nick asked quietly. All the boys grew deathly quiet over Nick’s question. Someone had finally interjected the subject that everyone was fighting to ignore. The press had been hounding them about that very question. Everyone glanced at Nick hesitantly, offering disgusted growls. Nick immediately glared back, not allowing them to blame him for the dreaded feelings. “Don’t even pin this shit on me! I’m not the only one who was thinking about that, alright?”

“He has a point,” AJ declared.

“Excuse me?” Kevin snarled, not liking what AJ’s voice was suggesting. AJ was just way too desperate to figure out all the unsolved mysteries of Howie’s accident.

“Face it. Howie can’t possibly continue to be a Backstreet Boy in his condition. Seriously, guys, what is he going to do on tour? Roll down the ramp screaming our names? Be serious, Kevin. He’d just park his wheelchair in the middle, milk up all the attention, and make us do all the damn work to carry his ass!” AJ exploded selfishly.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Brian wheezed, glancing at AJ with horror. “You’re going to strand Howie just because he had a bad break in life?”

“AJ, that was seriously below–”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” AJ hollered, immediately jump out of his seat. He would not be the scapegoat for the group’s turmoil. He had been the one to say what everyone else had been thinking. He hastily fished into his pocket, retrieving his keys. He glared furiously at the group while hissing, “I’m not going to stay here and let you all fling your shit on me! Every Goddamn one of you was thinking the same thing! I just had the balls to say it! Now, if you’ll excuse me, Jamila is waiting for me!”

“Howie doesn’t even know about AJ’s new relationship,” Brian whispered sadly after AJ slammed the door. No one blamed AJ for escaping into the darkness. AJ needed a break more than the rest of them. Hopefully, Jamila would provide comfort for his churning soul. “Usually, Howie was the first to know about a new girl in AJ’s sight.”

“A lot of things have changed, Bri,” Kevin concluded softly.

“Did I mention that the media is hungry for the story? Howie’s parents told them he was still at the hospital so they wouldn’t swarm around his place. They didn’t want Howie to see them and get more depressed about the situation. So, as of now, those sharks are storming the damn hospital,” Nick announced, deciding to avoid the previous topic of conversation.

“We’re going to have to face them at some point,” Brian sighed, wishing for once that the public wasn’t involved with their lives. It made him sick to relive the nightmares of his Backstreet Family across the world to each diehard fan. Brian had begun to loathe the limelight that had been thrust upon him so many years ago.

“I’ll schedule a press conference immediately. Brian, make sure to verify it with AJ,” Kevin announced quickly.

“What the Hell? Kevin! What are we going to tell them?” Nick blurted.

“We’re going to act as if we’re on the stage again. We will mention nothing about Howie’s possible withdrawal from the band. We’ll just explain – with adoring smiles – that we’re always there for Howie. And we’ve been with Howie every day in order to nurse him back to health so he can jump on the stage with the rest of us.”

“Wait, we’re going to lie to the press?” Brian asked with worry.

“We don’t want them to know about the chaos, do we?” Kevin retorted shortly.

“But, Kev—“

“A little white lie isn’t going to kill the press.”

“Some things never change,” Nick mumbled, listening to Kevin dial the local TV Station.

Nicola entered the workout area knowingly with her things already prepared for Howie’s therapy. She had been returning for several weeks and now knew the ins and outs of Howie’s home. She had even started to adapt to what kind of therapy Howie was eager to participate in and the therapy he loathed. Even though she did everything to satisfy him – things weren’t perfect for her. Sadly, the weeks of therapy had bumpily passed. Howie, like many patients, seemed to have good days and bad days. Nicola never knew what to expect when she walked through the doors to the workout room. No matter what, Nicola did her best to ease the tensions between their diverse personalities, but she wasn’t a miracle worker.

Nicola sighed annoyingly and smiled kindly when Darcy offered her a nasty glare. Darcy always seemed to make the therapies increasingly difficult for Nicola. She sat in on every therapy, watching Nicola like a hawk. She had set up her throne of dominance by the indoor side of the pool. Casually, during the therapies, Darcy would saunter by Nicola’s involved workout and offer a snide comment. Howie would never notice the feisty anger toward Nicola as Darcy slipped him a kiss and skipped back to her dominant throne. Darcy drove Nicola absolutely insane as she perched on her leather lounge chair and sipped on her margarita. No matter what time of the day, Darcy always taunted Nicola.

Blocking her thoughts, Nicola settled down on a padded chair when she heard the distant whirling of wheels. Immediately, Darcy tuned into the sound and jumped to her feet. When Howie entered the room, Darcy squealed with enthusiasm and rushed to him. Her long dark locks whipped behind her shoulders as she fixed the bottom of her black bikini bottom and tightened the strings wrapped around her back. Darcy slimily slipped her sleek body into Howie’s paralyzed lap. She eagerly wrapped her arms around his neck and bent down to slip Howie a feverish kiss with her powerful tongue.

The worst aching burned in Nicola’s heart when she watched the two embraced in a kiss. Her stomach churned at the ghastly sight, knowing that Darcy didn’t just use her tongue for Howie’s pleasure. Nicola was adamant that she had seen Darcy slithering around Orlando with various men. Nicola would take her sister about the city on shopping sprees, only to bump into Darcy slathering her affections on men Howie would probably cross the street to avoid. It made Nicola sick to think of Darcy embracing Howie in the manner that she embraced other men in during the weeks of Howie’s distress.

However, Nicola said nothing. She decided speaking her mind about Darcy’s deceitful behavior would ruin her patient relationship with Howie. She had a strict business arrangement between her and Howie. She couldn’t over-step the boundaries, because she might ruin something important. Her only concern was to make Howie well enough to take care of his own needs. His heart was none of her affair.

However, if it was none of her affair, why did it hurt to see Howie embracing Darcy? Nicola’s cheeks burned while her conscience chipped at her icy heart. Nicola wanted to deny that she had any sort of attachment toward a man who could be so vicious to her.

Except, Nicola just couldn’t suppress her emotions as she watched Darcy rub her hands against Howie’s strong chest. Nicola felt her chest tighten with anger. Darcy only reacted this way with Howie to bother Nicola. Darcy didn’t even care about Howie’s well being. Darcy only threw herself at Howie as a way to assert her domination over Nicola and claim Howie for her own. It was as if Darcy were a monkey in heat. Nicola knew that Darcy hoped to create a decaying emotion of jealousy in her heart. But, to Darcy’s surprise, it was working.

“How are you feeling, Baby?” Darcy cooed loudly, glancing backward to make sure she held Nicola’s attention. A slick smile spread across Darcy’s darkly tanned face when she realized Nicola was fully aware of Darcy’s actions.

“I’m fine, Darcy. I’m just getting ready for Nicola,” Howie answered, knowing Nicola had heard him.

As if on cue, Nicola turned and smiled brightly at him. Howie felt his heart flutter to his confusion. Before he could sort through the emotions embedded in his mystified soul, Darcy pulled on his shirt. It was as if she were an infant demanding for his attention. Howie felt guilty as he watched Darcy frown at him. To make up for his negligence, Howie leaned up and offered a feisty kiss and bit her bottom lip with a teasing smile.

“I love you,” he murmured.

“Good!” Darcy declared, offering no love back to him. Instead, she simply offered a boastful smile in Nicola’s direction and scurried back to her throne. She plopped down on her lounge chair and hit a remote to open the glass panes of the ceiling for a tanning session.

“Are you ready?” Howie finally asked Nicola, painfully wheeling toward her. He glanced with puzzlement when he noted an unfamiliar look upon her beautiful face. It seemed as if Nicola was jealous, which baffled Howie. He felt his throat tighten as he gazed at her with more interest.

“I’m always ready,” Nicola announced. Her facial expression immediately changed to a glimmer of amusement. She jumped up from her seat and crossed her arms across her chest. “So, be honest with me. Have there been any more changes in your condition since last week?”

“My pain level has been doubling. I’ve also been a lot stiffer than before,” Howie admitted as Nicola helped him from the wheelchair to the exercise mat. His skin tingled as her hand accidentally slipped up his shirt and brushed against his bare abdomen. She said nothing about the brief contact of skin as she helped him toward the floor.

“The more we work out the more your muscles will be tired, which can be accounted for the stiffness and pain. However, the longer we work your muscles, the more endurance your muscles will develop. And, the more we keep going, the more you’ll be able to do by yourself. It just takes a few more weeks than we’ve given,” Nicola explained, lifting Howie’s useless leg into her arms. She quickly glanced at his upper leg to check for any sign of infection or deterioration. She always checked during every visit, because Howie would feel no pain or discomfort if something were occurring in his legs. Sadly, he wouldn’t have any idea that anything existed past his hips because of the damaged nerves.

“Nothing to worry about?” Howie asked, watching Nicola critically study his legs. He quickly became oblivious to Darcy being anywhere in the room. He could only study Nicola’s gentle features in awe. Her strawberry blonde curls were pulled behind her ears in a low ponytail. Her emerald eyes turned light against the beaming sun as the golden rings sparked with beauty. Her bottom lip was sucked into her mouth as she became lost in her assessment of Howie’s body. He found it charming that she could be so in touch with him, but so quiet.

“Nothing is wrong. All the surgical sights have healed nicely. Seems like you’re on your way to a clean bill of health,” Nicola answered, gently resting Howie’s left leg on a nearby pillow.

“Great!” Howie approved as there was a knock on the door. Nicola smiled in awe as Paula and Pollyanna ushered themselves in with two tall glasses of icy water. Nicola absolutely adored Howie’s family. They were so warm with her. They treated her as if she was a part of the family and Nicola needed that. Pollyanna and Paula always had a way of making Nicola feel wanted, despite Darcy’s cold actions.

“We thought you might need these,” Paula explained, offering Nicola one of the glasses. Nicola was amazed to find a twist of lemon and lime dunked amongst the icy cubes. The women had taken great care to provide the drinks.

“Thank you!” Nicola answered gratefully, taking a long sip.

“Working hard?” Pollyanna asked, offering the other drink to Howie. Satisfaction glowed in Pollyanna’s face when Darcy stormed out of the room. Darcy was obviously angered that the family didn’t bring her a drink. Shivers of delight raced down Pollyanna’s back when Howie didn’t even seem to notice Darcy, because his eyes were set on Nicola.

“Always,” Howie chuckled, winking at Nicola.

“Then we’ll leave,” Paula replied, kissing her son’s sweaty cheek. “It was great to see you again, Nicola. We must invite you for dinner some evening. That way we can get to know you beyond this arrangement.”

“I’ll consider that. Thank you,” Nicola laughed, watching the two women scurry off in delight. Nicola glanced back at Howie with appreciation. The two women reminded Nicola so much of her mother and sister. “Your family is absolutely wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Howie replied with a knowing smile.

“Want to take a break?”

“Yes!” Howie blurted, causing Nicola to laugh. He blushed faintly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. Nicola smiled with approval. Howie was becoming much stronger with her help. He was starting to support all of his body weight with his arms. He would be able to do so many things soon and he owed everything to Nicola.

“So, how are things going?” Nicola asked, starting a friendly conversation. She had yet to hear anything about Howie’s friends. Rosa-Lynn had spoke of Howie’s singing group making a public announcement. They had stated that they were helping Howie every step of the way, but Nicola had yet to see them visit. She feared that they might have abandoned him long ago, making it harder for Howie to adapt to the injury.

“Everything is slowly coming together,” Howie answered vaguely. Howie’s family was standing behind him, no matter what happened. Pollyanna had permanently moved into his home until Howie felt secure enough to be alone. His parents visited every day. His other brother and sister visited about every week. Darcy was always around for his therapy, but gone any other time, which Howie didn’t mind. The only downer was that he was still bitter with his friends. He prayed that Nicola would not interfere with the friend issue, but Howie saw the look in her eyes.

“Everything?”

“Pretty much.”

“Your family?”

“Always by my side.”

“Darcy?”

“Always here when she’s not busy with her modeling.”

“Your friends?”

“What about them?” Howie questioned, growing stiff.

“Things must be going quite well with them.”

“Why?”

“My sister told me yesterday that your friends made an appearance on MTV. They said that they’ve been with you constantly since the accident. They even mentioned that they have become the legs that you have lost. I’m glad that they’re so dedicated to you–”

“They lie,” Howie interrupted hatefully. Nicola’s words sunk deep into his bruised soul like a bitter poison. The malice words cut into his flesh with fiery anger. He looked deep into Nicola’s eyes to see that she was truthful. His friends had used him as a tool to gain sympathy toward their music. His friends had deceived him to fulfill the public’s wanting.

“What do you mean? Why do they lie?”

“They haven’t been here at all.”

“And why is that?”

Howie docile personality melted away to reveal his anger. He was tired of her interfering with his personal business. “Stop asking so many damn questions! You’re not my fucking psychiatrist! I don’t pay you to sort through my troubled feelings. My brain isn’t paralyzed – just my damn legs!” Howie snapped, unable to hold his tongue. He watched Nicola flinch, but he was unable to stop his destructive words. “You’re always prying into my business. Can’t you just do your damn job and heal my body? Try to do something good instead of jumping into my brain. Damn bitch!”

Nicola couldn’t control her temper any long. She tried to understand that Howie was still dealing with the traumatic state of his frazzled ego, but it wasn’t fair to her. She shouldn’t have to compete with his anger in order to complete her job. Without thinking, she snapped her wrist and flung icy water into Howie’s face. Her muscles tensed in annoyance and rage as Howie stared at her in shock. She watched the icy droplets melt down Howie’s face.

She spoke crisply, “Mr. Dorough, my clients are treated with holistic care. Do you understand what holistic care means? Or is your egotistic brain too shrunk to comprehend? Holistic care means that I care for your mind, soul, and body. And it seemed that your brain is as sick as your body! So, please, condemn me to the fiery pits of Hell for wanting to see you well!”

Before Howie could reply, the door to the gym was flung open. Nicola’s eyes went large when she noticed who appeared at the door. Nicola held her breath as Pollyanna, Paula, and Darcy escorted her boss, Dr. Eric Jacobs, into the room. Somehow, Nicola knew that she might be fired that day. Her mind immediately traveled back to her precious daughter. She began to wonder what kind of job she could find that day in order to feed her daughter.

“Hello, Dr. Jacobs,” Nicola replied numbly.

Dr. Jacobs ignored Nicola’s greeting. He simply walked toward Howie, sizing up the scene before him. Dr. Jacobs bent down and growled with displeasure. The ice cubs sat in Howie’s lap as the water continued to drip down his chin. “What the Hell happened to you, Mr. Dorough?”

Howie ran a tired hand over his sopping wet face. He could ruin Nicola’s job if he explained her violent outburst. She could be out the door so fast on her behind that it would make her head spin. However, something tugged at his heart. He wanted to focus on his anger, but could only picture Nicola’s longing smile of trust and seduction. He needed to protect her.

“Nothing happened. This is sweat – I was working really hard,” Howie answered dryly.

Nicola felt amazement flutter against her heart as Howie quickly saved her job. She immediately felt guilty for attacking him with such rage, but he had to respect her as his physical therapist. She found herself growing frustrated as Dr. Jacobs turned to her. Darcy held a proud smile upon her face. It was as if Darcy had planned the entire encounter in order to ruin Nicola’s job. Darcy placed her hands firmly on Howie’s shoulders, massaging lightly as she glared at her. Nicola wanted to tear out Darcy’s eyes, but Dr. Jacobs signaled for her attention.

“Are you finished with your session?” Dr. Jacobs grunted.

“Yes, Eri-ah-Dr. Jacobs. We can continue our session on Thursday,” Nicola replied politely. Dr. Jacobs waved his hand, dismissing her immediately. Nicola said nothing as she picked up her bag and offered a professional smile. She nodded briefly at the family. “See you all on Thursday.”

“Of course! Dear, let me at least walk you to your car,” Paula insisted immediately, sensing Nicola’s hurt pride. Pollyanna smiled with approval, knowing that her mother absolutely loved Nicola. Paula always spoke very highly of Nicola during family dinners. Pollyanna watched as her mother pulled Nicola’s hand into her own. She patted Nicola’s hand gently as they walked out without another word.

“Nicola has been absolutely wonderful with Howie,” Pollyanna finally announced, noting the sour glare upon Dr. Jacobs’ face as Nicola disappeared. Pollyanna narrowed her eyes and quickly searched the doctor’s face. Something didn’t seem right. There was a glitter of erotica embedded in the man’s eyes when Nicola brushed by him. Pollyanna frowned with disgust at the revelation, knowing that it would only cause trouble if he pursued the young woman.

“Wonderful, huh?” Dr. Jacobs finally asked, glancing at Howie with a sneaky smile. Howie settled back into his wheelchair and wiped his face with the towel Pollyanna had retrieved. Howie felt unnerved by the cocky smile. It was as if Dr. Jacobs was hinting at something sinful between Howie and Nicola.

“I happen to think that Nicola needs some personal people interaction skills,” Darcy huffed before Howie could answer for himself.

“Darcy!” Howie scolded, finding himself offended by Darcy’s callous statement toward Nicola.

“Mr. Dorough,” Dr. Jacobs interrupted, glancing toward Darcy with a gentle smile. “Please allow this lovely woman a chance to speak. Nicola has some kind of spark inside her that sways those of the opposite gender. Maybe this beautiful creature sees something inside Nicola’s practice that you don’t.

“Why thank you!” Darcy giggled loudly, fixing her raven curls with a playful flick. She allowed a seductive smile to creep cross her crimson lips. She seated herself beside the men, sexily crossing her bare legs toward him. She smoothed her tight pink top against her thin stomach, allowing some of her dark midriff to show. “Howie never wants to listen to what I have to say when it comes to that therapist.”

“What a shame,” Dr. Jacobs laughed. His eyes sparked with pleasure while he patted her bare thigh.

“Nicola is always giving him grief. She never accepts that Howie’s injury is quite traumatic. She pushes him to the limit and he knows that he’s not physically up for the challenge. They bicker insanely. She’s quite rude to me when I sit in to make sure that Howie is okay with the therapy. I just don’t approve of her,” Darcy explained with annoyance.

Howie felt himself pull away from reality as Dr. Jacobs released a throaty laugh. A silent wall of bitterness began to form in his mind. His eyes blurred as he watched Darcy affectionately run her fingers down the man’s chest. He couldn’t believe that Darcy reacted to Nicola in such a manner. It was as if he was seeing Darcy for the first time. However, no matter what Darcy’s snaky appearance reflected, Howie couldn’t keep his mind off of Nicola. He was frustrated with Nicola’s bitter anger, but was outraged when others belittled her. Howie was afraid he was going crazy for Nicola.

“Howie, I’m walking Dr. Jacobs to his car and taking off. Okay?” Darcy announced, shattering Howie’s silence. She folded her arm into Dr. Jacobs’s arm and pressed her body close against his. Howie wanted to reply in distaste, but Darcy quickly disappeared with the doctor. No kisses. No goodbyes.

“You okay, Baby Brother?” Pollyanna asked when the door slammed behind Darcy. She couldn’t hide the anger and disgrace in her eyes. She kneeled down beside her brother, glancing into his murky eyes. She was utterly disgusted with the doctor and Darcy.

“He didn’t even care about what I needed to say,” Howie muttered as his sister wheeled him to the living room.

“Aren’t you glad that Nicola takes care of you instead of him?” Pollyanna asked with a smile. She watched Howie pull himself easily onto the couch from his wheelchair. He was becoming strong with Nicola by his side to coach him. Nicola never doubted Howie’s ability to succeed at what she mapped out for him. Pollyanna absolutely adored the woman for all the help she gave Howie.

“Of course,” Howie murmured, sighing with regret.

“Howie, what happened today?”

“The guys did a press conference the other day. They said they see me every day and are nursing me back to health. Nicola mentioned that she was glad they still cared. I totally lost it. I couldn’t understand how the boys could totally desert me and still lie to the press for their advantage. I took my anger out on her and she cooled me off with some water,” Howie seethed.

“You yelled at her because of–”

“Don’t say their names.”

“Howie—”

“Polly, they betrayed me. I want them to eat those words. They’re just lavishing up the public support at my expense. They’ve done nothing for me! After all those promises that we were brothers and would never leave each other behind. Bullshit! They’ve already kicked me out of the group and I hope they all die!”

“Howard Dwaine!”

“I don’t care, Polly!”

“Don’t you think you should at least apologize to Nicola? She tries so hard to make you happy. If you’re nicer to her, she might just surprise you. I mean, she cares about you more than Darcy—”

“Don’t go there, Polly.”

“Howie, Darcy just flirted—”

“Polly!”

“She doesn’t love—”

“ENOUGH!” Howie screamed, ending the conversation with a deadly glare.

Nicola screamed in frustration, cursing the world. She hurriedly pulled her sweatshirt over her sopping wet tank top. Howie had thrown a soda can in Nicola’s direction when she mentioned that they might try working harder the next time. Howie exploded with rage at the comment, assuming that she was insulting him. The soda had splashed upward and practically covered Nicola’s entire attire. Now, Howie was screaming profanities as she packed her things to leave. His face flushed with annoyance and anger as she ignored him.

“You are the bitchest woman I have ever known! All you do is bitch and moan about what I do. Nothing is ever good enough for you! I work my ass off for you! And what the Hell do you do? BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! Then you leave!” Howie roared, following her closely with his wheelchair nipping at her heels. Nicola tightened her shoulders backward, knowing he was becoming stronger. She wanted to comment on his growing abilities, but couldn’t get a word in to save her life.

“Howie—”

“No! You won’t cut me off! I’m not finished! I was thinking the other night about what your former occupation could be… Then I thought you might be an ex-college-coach. You know? One of those bitches that push the athletes into the ground until they wind up in rehabilitation for the rest of their lives! I was thinking that you got fired. But why? Too much work? Nah… I think you were too much of a dyke for the college to handle. Is that why you don’t date now? Because you can’t find that special woman—”

“ENOUGH!” Nicola exclaimed, turning on her heel to glare at him. Her emerald eyes flashed with hatred and betrayal. It was as if something snapped inside her heart. She stepped forward with menace, causing Howie to wheel backward. She spoke crisply as not to be misunderstood. “Don’t you dare berate me for your emotional issues! I have gone through Hell and back to keep this job! Do you think you have the right to slam me because you have a plethora of zeros behind the dollar sign in your bank account? Because, to tell you the truth, I don’t think you do. So step the Hell off!”

Before Howie could react, Nicola slipped out the door. She was tired of defending herself. She couldn’t even imagine why Dr. Jacobs continued to allow her this position despite Darcy’s cool remarks toward her attitude. Nicola felt her heart throb with agony and intensity at the latest argument with Howie. Nicola wanted relax, but was unable as Darcy appeared in the hallway. Nicola closed her eyes, damning her luck.

“Hello, Darcy,” Nicola replied something politely.

“You just got burned,” Darcy snickered.

“Excuse me?” Nicola choked.

“Can’t you handle a real man?” Darcy cooed in a snotty manner.

“I don’t even want him!” Nicola snapped with irritation.

“What?”

Nicola stepped forward, forbidding Darcy to get the best of her. Nicola’s flushed cheeks and furious emerald eyes caused Darcy to step backward timidly. Nicola fiercely pushed Darcy into a nearby chair, towering over Darcy as she quivered in the chair. Nicola spoke with a deadly tone, “Do you want to know the truth? I don’t want him! You’ve been skitzing the entire time thinking I’m scamming on your boyfriend. Well, I don’t want him! Howie is the biggest prick that I have EVER met. And NEVER, NO WAY IN HELL, would I want to steal him away from your sorry ass.”

*~*~*

Howie stared aimlessly at the illuminated TV screen. His mind was elsewhere, traveling backward to the morning. Nicola’s miserable eyes only seemed to haunt him as the hours passed. Howie had completely ruined whatever type of relationship he was starting to build with her. Nicola’s voice echoed in his mind, sending icy chills into his heart. He had sadly heard the bitter exchange between Darcy and Nicola that morning. He didn’t know why Nicola’s denial of wanting him bothered him so. His mind ached with worry.

“You okay?” Pollyanna asked, sitting next to her brother on the couch. She could tell something was plaguing him. Usually, after physical therapy, Howie was ravenous. However, today he had barely touched his food. Pollyanna assumed that Nicola had something to do with Howie’s madness.

“Polly, do you think it’s possible to love two people?” Howie blurted without thought, still staring at the glossy TV.

“What?”

Howie groaned loudly, shifting his useless legs so he could face his sister. “I overheard Nicola say something to Darcy after our argument this morning.”

“Oh, what’d she say?”

“She told Darcy that she would never want to take me for a lover.”

“And that bothered you?” Pollyanna asked, trying not to squeal with delight. The present was starting to shift with Nicola’s heavy weight in Howie’s heart. Howie must have cared for Nicola, because he was frustrated over her obvious bitterness. Pollyanna could see the signs of Howie’s heart changes. She wasn’t blind toward her brother’s behaviors.

“That’s just the problem!” Howie groaned again. He tugged hard on his curls, hoping to alleviate the headache he was developing. Her denial of feelings for him shouldn’t have bothered him. He shouldn’t have cared what she said, but he did. Oh, Lord, did he ever care. He cared so much that her words gnawed at his heart.

“What’s the problem?”

“Her not wanting me shouldn’t bother me! Gosh, Polly, I care too much about it! What is wrong with me? I always thought that Darcy was the love of my life. I made myself believe that I could never meet anyone better than my Darcy. My heart is devoted to Darcy, but when I look at Nicola—”

“Things are always changing, Howie. I know that you must be frustrated with whatever is happening, but you need to hold that temper of yours. Mom doesn’t know what’s gotten into you lately…”

“I know,” Howie admitted with guilt.

“But, I’m not here to lecture. I suppose that I should just tell you to take it easy with whatever you’re fighting. You’re confused and that’s understandable after having such a nasty accident. Just don’t make any hasty decisions.”

“Okay, thanks, Polly.”

“No problem,” Pollyanna answered, brushing her lips against Howie’s cool forehead. “Want me to order some pizza for dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,” Howie replied dejectedly. He was thankful for Pollyanna’s advice, but she hadn’t answered his main question. He wanted to call out, but knew not to bother her. She would probably grow angry with him always seeking advice for stupid problems. He sighed, causing his sister to turn and gaze at him.

“Howie, to answer your question, I do think that you can love two people, but one of those loves will shatter to reveal the deepest adoration that one can only have for one other. You just have to give it time and let God make it known.”

“I’m afraid that the woman who might hold my deepest adoration declares me unwanted.”

“Then you have to convince her that you are to be wanted and not lost.”

Chapter 15 – Shielding Earnest Fears

“Lucy! Your favorite babysitters are here!” Nicola called with confusion, pounding on the side of the wall leading up the stairs. She then smiled warmly as she ushered her mother and siblings into the house. As usual, Marie promised to take care of her only granddaughter while Nicola assisted Howie with physical therapy. However, Nicola was shocked to see both of her siblings behind her mother. Usually, they kept themselves occupied with other tasks while Marie babysat. Nicola arched her light brows in confusion at her siblings. “What are you two doing here?”

“I had a day off school, Nic. And, besides, I wanted to play with Lucy,” Danny answered, brushing a kiss on his eldest sister’s cheek. His eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. It was obvious the boy had plans in his head. Nicola smiled as she hugged her brother tightly. He glanced at her for a moment, watching her arch her eyebrows again in question. Danny blushed faintly, knowing he was caught. “D’ya mind if I crash here for the night? We can have the famous scary movie night?”

“Of course, after Lucy’s in bed,” Nicola promised, glancing at Rosa-Lynn.

“Can’t, I have a date. But I came over because I hate being alone at home,” Rosa-Lynn declared dramatically. She placed a hand on her forehead as if she might swoon. She collapsed on the couch as if it were too much.

“Did’ja here, Nic? Rosie’s trying out for an acting major this week,” Danny teased.

“Eat my ass, Danny!” Rosa-Lynn hissed.

“Sorry, too much fat,” Danny snickered, roaring with laughter as Rosa-Lynn chased him into the living room.

Nicola rolled her eyes as Lucy came running down the stairs. The little girl shrieked in delight, kissing her grandmother and then crawling immediately into her mother’s arms. Marie smiled, leaning to kiss her granddaughter’s cheek. Nicola kissed Lucy’s bouncing curls, smoothing some small strands of hair away from her daughter’s bright cerulean eyes. Nicola offered her mother a tired smile while speaking, “Momma, thank you so much for watching Lucy. I owe you so—”

“Nicola, I love my Lucy. You don’t owe me a thing. I am your mother, I take care of these things. Don’t you ever dare say you owe me… Just promise me a good take-home dinner when you get back,” Marie declared with a teasing smile.

“Deal and you’re still the best,” Nicola answered, helping Lucy crawl into Marie’s arms. Nicola yawned, walking to the coat closet. She pulled out her ADIDAS duffle bag and jean jacket. She felt a solid stone form in the pit of her stomach. She dreaded traveling over to Howie’s home. He always seemed to make Nicola feel lousy. He was the only man that had caused Nicola pain since her husband.

“Nicola, Baby, you okay?” Marie questioned, looking into Nicola’s murky eyes. She immediately sensed her eldest child’s anguish. Nicola had always placed too much weight upon her shoulders. Since Marie’s husband had left the family, Nicola had assumed the second role as parent. Marie knew that she had let Nicola take the position too far sometimes, but it had been a Godsend at times. Marie sighed softly, hugging Lucy tight.

“I’m okay, Momma,” Nicola lied, offering a fake smile. “I just need a good vacation. I’m worn out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Nicola agreed, grabbing her keys. She hated lying to her mother, but how could she explain? Nicola feared that she was falling for her patient. Nicola swallowed hard, holding her hands out to Lucy. She also feared that she had been neglecting her daughter since her new job had begun. “Baby-Girl, give Mommy big kisses to last me till lunchtime!”

“Mommy! I’ll give kissies to last you till supper!” Lucy giggled, attacking her mother with heartfelt kisses.

*~*~*

“Do you think this is right?” Brian whispered to Nick. He began to pace impatiently within the tiny lounge for MTV’s TRL. The boys were making yet another appearance without Howie by their side. Brian held a guilty notion in his heart as the fans screamed down the hallway. They were gaining sympathy and the added benefits for Howie’s misfortune, but never attempted to shower Howie with the attention he needed. Brian also loathed lying to the fans. He feared he might go completely mad from the chaos surrounding him on a daily basis. His guilty conscience could not hold the lies much longer.

“Bri, sit down. You’re making me crazy,” Nick complained, pulling at his friend’s pants. Brian slumped onto the couch with defeat. Nick studied the older man carefully. Finally, Nick sighed, “No, Bri, I don’t think it’s right. But nothing ever is right when you’re always in the public eye.”

“Yes, fans make everything more intense.”

“We just have to truth Kevin.”

“He never led us wrong before.”

Brian and Nick glanced up to see Kevin finally rushing into the room. They offered worried glances to Kevin, but he only smiled. He raked his hands through his growing raven locks. “They’re ready for us. Now, remember everything we’ve been saying to the press. Howie is getting better. And, remember, AJ is visiting Howie, so he couldn’t come with us. We do our best to help our best friend—”

“AJ is at home, refusing to come!” Brian finally objected angrily. He was tired of lying. He wanted to reveal the truth. He couldn’t contain the lies any longer. His heart was turning black with all the deceit. “Why don’t we just tell them the truth? We hate seeing Howie depressed! We can’t stand looking at his crippled legs knowing what he once was! He’s not himself! AND THERE’S NO MORE BAND!”

“You don’t know that!” Kevin snapped.

“We all know it, you just don’t want to accept it. Without Howie, we’re nothing!” Brian growled.

“So, what do you plan to do? Saunter out there, flash a smile, and say we’re breaking up because Howie’s completely useless?”

“GUYS!” Nick hollered, startling the cousins. Nick offered a sour glare to both of them. He was tired of the bickering. “Just go out there and hold it together. Just let us give one more performance before it all goes to Hell… Just one more performance…”

Chapter 16 ~ Mistaken Fury

Howie watched from his bed as Darcy hurriedly gathered her things from one of his larger closets. Today was another dreaded therapy session and Darcy finally wanted nothing to do with the ordeal. It was obvious that Nicola’s sharp revulsions had shaken Darcy’s attitude. Darcy said nothing to Howie as she quickly hurried out of the home before Nicola arrived. Something about Darcy began to rub Howie raw. He was slowly starting to comprehend Darcy’s flaws, but still his heart still masked the deepest threats. Now, Darcy had been spending less and less time with Howie, but now he didn’t seem to care. The only woman on his mind was Nicola.

Nicola’s bitter words still gnawed at the fleshy pulp of his heart. He couldn’t believe that he revolted Nicola so much. Her hate for him made Howie sick to his stomach. He was beginning to see Nicola as more of a woman than a therapist. Her subtle moves made his heart pound with anticipation. Her simple touch of care caused a set of prickles to break out on his skin. Howie sighed hatefully, though, because whatever he had hoped to achieve with her had been shattered with his sour disposition.

“Howie! Nicola’s waiting!” Pollyanna called loudly, breaking into his poignant thoughts. Howie pulled a tank top onto his naked torso and ran his fingers through his short curls. Without any hesitation, Howie pulled himself into his wheelchair and raced out of his bedroom. With quick strokes of the wheels, Howie rushed toward the weight room. He gently pushed the door open with the front of his wheelchair to reveal Nicola in all her glory.

She sat in the middle of the room with her legs stretched out wide. Without any grief, she leaned over her right leg and allowed her arms to stretch far beyond her foot. Her thick curls fell into her emerald eyes as she pressed her body toward the floor. Hues of honey and red flickered throughout her curls as the sun beamed down upon her magnificent figure. She wore a simple lavender tank top with a pair of gray shorts, but she made the outfit look like a million dollars. Howie’s mouth grew parched with wanting. She was absolutely gorgeous.

“Nicola?” Howie finally strained, startling the woman. She quickly jumped up from the floor and smoothed her shorts over her lean thighs. Her cheeks flushed dark red with embarrassment, but her facial features still remained tight. It was obvious she still took Howie’s attitude personally. “Look, Nicola, I wanted to—”

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Dorough. To tell you the honest truth, you’re right; I’m not your psychiatrist. I had no right to overstep my boundaries and you certainly set me back in my place. Thank you. Now, let’s just do what I’m paid to do and be done with it,” she answered stiffly, directing him to the weight bench.

*~*~*

After two hours of grueling labor with Howie’s activities, Nicola was completely exhausted. She sat down by Howie’s wheelchair, wiping the beads of sweat away from her face with a nearby towel. She had hardly spoken a word of conversation to Howie. She only gave him directions with his therapy. Her pride was still wounded by Howie’s bitter words. He had stepped too far into her emotions to turn around. Nicola glanced up to see him studying her with intensity. A look of wanting in his eyes caused Nicola to flinch and pull herself up.

“You thirsty?” she asked laboriously.

“Yes,” Howie answered carefully.

“I’ll go get some water, then. Take a break,” Nicola decided, stepping out of the room before Howie could disagree.

Howie groaned with defeat, slouching in his wheelchair. There was still heavy tension between the two, even after hours of physical therapy. It seemed hopeless. There was no way to repair the rubble around Nicola’s castled heart. She refused to allow herself to be hurt again by him. Howie understood, but still felt the raw emptiness in his heart. He was loosing another potential friend because of his disability.

He began to curse his luck, knowing he had been beaten by his foul behavior. Howie wheeled himself to the small portable TV in the corner of the room. He pushed heavily on the buttons in search of something entertaining until Nicola returned. He had thought about making a scene of forgiveness, but feared that Nicola would find him petty. Finally, he allowed his mind to forget conjuring up a lavish plan and focus upon the TV.

The flickering images flashed against his dark irises as he turned to the familiar MTV Station. As if fate decided against him, the channel immediately locked on the station. Howie paused as Nick’s coy smile focused instantly upon the screen. The girls in the audience immediately screamed in rapture, causing Howie to feel numb.

“How is Howie?!” one girl screamed from the audience.

The camera focused on Kevin, the leader of the group. He looked as if to be in deep contemplation. He then offered a smile of reassurance that sent the girls into squeals. “Howie has his good days and his bad days. We just know that God is always helping him, no matter what the issue of the day. We comfort him and help him through the turmoil every day. We also take turns spending weeks with him when we’re not working on our new album. That’s why AJ couldn’t join us today, because he’s with Howie, probably watching the show!”

A chorus of shrieks and coos erupted from the pack of women, snapping Howie’s fragile nerves. It was the final attack against his heart and he could stand for now more. Those men had only saw him once before deciding to abandon him. Not one phone call. Not one card. His eyes turned dark with annoyance and betrayal. He couldn’t believe he had once called those men his brothers. He curls his aching hands into tight fists, beginning to curse the images of his “brothers.”

“AJ with me? What the Hell do you all think you’re doing?! You haven’t visited me since the day I nearly drowned at the bottom of the ocean! Using me as your publicity tool for the album that I’ll never be a part of… You rotten BASTARDS! How can you dare call me your brother to those innocent fans? Damn you all! I know you all blame me for the falling out of the group, but… GOD! WHY AREN’T YOU PUNISHING THEM? I HATE THEM!”

Howie’s words could not alleviate the pain inside his shattered heart. He was unable to control the rage building inside his tender heart. His eyes flashed with searing hot flames. He wanted to lash out and hurt something like he was hurting. Without thinking, Howie reached out and yanked the TV away from the wall. Sparks leapt into the air with volts of electricity as hot tears ran down Howie’s burning cheeks.

“DAMN YOU! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! YOUR NOT MY BROTHERS! YOU WILL NEVER BE MY BROTHERS! DAMN YOU ALL!” Howie screamed, unable to keep his vision from blurring beneath the tears.

He never noticed Nicola entering the room. He hadn’t even heard her call his name above his shouts of fiery obscenities. He screamed out in rage, allowing himself to pitch the TV in Nicola’s direction. The TV immediately crushed against Nicola’s right arm, shattering the glass of water and the bones inside her arm. She slumped down to the ground, screaming in pain. Blood began to run down her right arm from the glass of water and TV shards. Howie whipped around to see Nicola lying amongst the shards of glass, guarding her right arm protectively. Painful tears slid down her cheeks as Howie rushed toward her. She screamed out, holding her left hand upward.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Nicola hollered. She rocked herself back and forth as more tears began to trace down her cheeks. The pain was almost intolerable. She could see black dots invading her vision, threatening unconsciousness from the pain.

Her scream had halted Howie’s chair. His eyes were watery from harming Nicola. He couldn’t believe how fate had decided against him. His throat tightened as he reached out to touch Nicola, but she smacked his hand away. She screamed again in agony, causing Howie to wince. Howie began to stutter, “Oh, Nic, God, I am so sorry—”

“Don’t,” Nicola snapped, carefully pulling herself away from the shards of glass. The tears continued to rain down her cheeks blood trickled down her cheek. Her eyes were clouded with physical pain, but Howie knew that he had also caused the emotional pain lurking deep in her heart. She stared at him with betrayal. Her words were soft as she walked away, deadpanning Howie.

“To think I wanted you to love me.”

Chapter 17 – Dangerous Territory

Nicola sat numbly on the examination table, watching another physician encase her arm in hard plaster. The TV that shattered against her arm had left her in horrible condition. Her forearm had been sliced from the breaking glass and her arm had absorbed the impact of the hit, breaking her ulna in two places and her radius in three places. Her forearm had received thirty absorbable stitches before the cast was applied to the mangled arm. The pain relievers finally began to settle into her nervous system as the doctor positioned Nicola’s arm for optimal healing.

She winced as the cold wet strips of plaster were applied to her arm. Her mind slowly cleared from the adrenaline released by the hazardous situation, allowing her to reflect on her stupidity. In front of Howie, Nicola had almost fainted from the intense pain. Somehow, she had managed to gather herself off the floor without any more damage. The blood flowed down her arm as her pitiful eyes locked against Howie’s terrified eyes. Her arm immediately swelled to at least three times its normal size during the stare-down and Howie appeared horrified when he noticed. Nicola hadn’t realized the potential injury and was in shock as she left the room in a blur of tears.

Yet, her final words still echoed in her mind, despite the trauma.

‘To think I wanted you to love me.’

“NICOLA!” a familiar voice barked into the void of emotions. Nicola jerked in fright, causing a jolt of pain to tear against her arm. She blinked back tears, noting that her attending physician had disappeared from the room. Her superior, Dr. Jacobs, stood admiring her figure from where her physician should have been. Nicola shifted uncomfortably, pulling down her bloody tank top that had managed to gather just above her stomach. His eyes quickly traced down her figure before meeting her gaze. “How are you?”

“How do you think I am?” Nicola answered stiffly, glaring at the man. She reached for the sling that had been left beside her. Carefully, she pulled the sling onto her shoulder, adjusted it, and allowed her newly cast arm to lie against the soft material. She glanced up to find Dr. Jacobs simply staring at her with wanting. Nicola shivered, deciding to cut the formalities short. She could no longer endanger herself in the presence of Howie. Her hope for helping him was too far out of reach. She had let herself become compromised in the situation. She feared that her emotions had led her to the place she now sat. “I quit, Jacobs.”

“Excuse me?” the older man snorted.

“That ogre who you assigned me broke my arm in FIVE places. The doctor said that I’m quite lucky that they were clean breaks, because I won’t need surgery on the expense of your clinic’s insurance. For that, I want nothing more to do with his care. I’m not going to press charges on him because I do understand where the pain and anger is coming from, but I forbid myself to complicate the matters by going back there. So, understand this, Jacobs, I quit,” Nicola answered coolly, folding her prescription of medication and stuffing it into her back pocket. She had given herself the dignity to leave the case without endangering Howie or revealing her forbidden desires.

“You’re not allowed to quit,” Dr. Jacobs decided, blocking the door to prevent Nicola from walking out of the conversation.

Nicola faltered, backing away. “What?”

“Don’t be stupid, Nicola. I could have fired you from the Dorough Account a very long time ago. Darcy’s accusations would have been enough to send you packing, but I knew better. I was providing for you, knowing that you needed this huge account to provide for your daughter’s welfare. Besides your needs, I also understood that you’re quite tempting. Simply put, you’re a piece of eye-candy,” Dr. Jacobs snarled with no remorse.

“What the Hell are you trying to say?” Nicola accused, feeling as if she were drowning.

“Nicola, you’re an intelligent woman, stop acting so foolish. You’re a gorgeous creature and many men would die to admire your body for a special price. Mr. Dorough obviously loves admiring your body during those sweaty workouts. That’s why he hasn’t squealed about your audacious behaviors. And, in addition, that cut little body of yours entices Mr. Dorough to support my clinic. His support of my clinic allows me to swim amongst the piles of cash while relieving your obvious sexual frustrations,” Dr. Jacobs explained, brushing his fingers through Nicola’s damp curls and then allowed his other hand to gently sweep against her hip.

Nicola jumped back as if she had been burned by his touch. Her eyes were wide with disgust and disloyalty. Her stomach churned with sickness as her cheeks flushed with rage. “Don’t you ever touch me like that again! I am not your whore!”

“Bullshit, Nicola. You’re whatever I say you are, because you’re bound to me. There’s no way you could survive on your own without this job. You need that big paycheck I give you for being so damn hot. Why do you think you get all the big male accounts? Because of your talent?” Dr. Jacobs laughed bitterly. “So, here’s the deal. You either go back and service my large account like I want or you find another income before social services snatches little Lucy by my suggestion.”

“Excuse me, I need to pick up my child,” Nicola choked with submission. She pushed past her employer, feeling his hand sweep against her behind. She cringed and immediately shielded her face from his delighted grin. He already knew he had won the argument, but she absolutely refused to let him see her pained tears.

*~*~*

“Howie! I can’t believe… How could you possibly? I mean, what in God’s name were you thinking?” Pollyanna exclaimed in shear anger. She dumped the broken bits of TV and glass into the trash before collapsing on the couch facing her brother. She eyed him with disbelief. Howie was a blur of frantic behaviors. He had called Pollyanna in tears, begging that she come over immediately. Pollyanna feared that he had done something stupid and she was right. Right now, both siblings feared that Howie had hurt Nicola severely. Neither had heard anything from her nor the clinic.

“Polly, I really don’t know what I was thinking! I saw the guys on TV… They made me snap inside. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. They hurt me so much! Then, just has Nicola walked into the room I pitched the TV. I swear to God I didn’t see her coming. I would never intentionally hurt her. Before I could stop myself, she was on the floor. God, Polly, all I can see now is her beautiful eyes. I hurt her… I hurt her terribly,” Howie exclaimed with fever, slamming the phone down once again. Nicola’s mother had picked up a few times to tell him Nicola was not yet home, but now no one answered the phone.

Howie’s heart throbbed as he dialed the number one more time. Nicola’s pained eyes flashed in his mind, sending a jolt of electricity to his heart. Howie distinctly saw her beautiful emerald eyes shatter as tears fell against her softly freckled cheeks. He had screamed his apologies even after she had stormed out. Yet, she had only offered one phrase. That very phrase continued to haunt him and fill him with regret.

‘To think I wanted you to love me.’

“Why won’t she pick up?” Howie screeched, almost throwing himself out of the wheelchair. He quickly looked to his sister with misery. She shook her head with disappointment. Howie bowed his head in utter shame.

“Do you really expect her to answer your calls?” Pollyanna finally asked him seriously.

Howie winced with knowing. He set the phone down and tangled his fingers in his short, dark curls. He slumped back into his wheelchair, forcing himself to swallow his tears of grief. He glanced at his older sister, finding his heart crumbling. He felt as if he had lost something so important, yet, nothing miraculous had happened between him and Nicola. He found himself puzzled that his heart was crumbling. “Polly, can I ask you something stupid?”

“I guess,” Pollyanna faltered in confusion. She didn’t understand what Howie was trying to say. Usually, she could communicate well with her brother without even speaking. However, now she found his other ways of communication blurred. This sudden change made Pollyanna nervous. His behavior scared her. She wanted to believe that Howie hadn’t purposely hurt Nicola, but she still couldn’t put the doubt behind her.

“When Nicola left, she said something that confused me.”

“What’d she say?”

“She said, ‘To think I wanted you to love me.’ Polly, that confused me. I mean, what did she mean?” Howie whispered in confession.

Pollyanna stared at her brother in bewilderment. She couldn’t believe that Nicola had stated such words, but Howie’s word was golden. He had always resisted the sin of lying, despite the easy path lying allowed. Pollyanna wanted to whoop with delight, but the situation was still grave. Nicola had finally revealed the feelings that Pollyanna assumed hung in the air between the two, yet Howie had burned the bridge. Pollyanna winced at the thought and groaned. “I think you know why she said that, but you just don’t want to admit it. So, I won’t overstep that line that’s clearly depicted in your mind.”

Howie nodded with remorse. He knew he had made a horrid mistake in whatever type of relationship he hoped to pursue with Nicola. He shivered with fear. “Do you think she’ll ever pick up her phone for me?”

“Do you blame her if she didn’t?”

“No, I was the one to screw up.”

“Yes, you were.”

“But I don’t want to loose her,” Howie admitted.

“Do you want my advice?”

“Yes, if it doesn’t cross that line you think I have drew.”

Pollyanna and Howie both finally smirked. Pollyanna reached out and grasped her little brother’s hand. She made sure that he was concentrating on her and only her. “I think that if you can’t get hold of her tonight, you have to do something drastic tomorrow if you hope to keep her. And I mean do something drastic.”

Nicola slipped carefully into her home, making sure not to bump her aching arm. She already loathed the plaster covering from below her shoulder to before her fingers. She knew that she would be wearing the cast for several weeks, but she could hardly think about the future. Dr. Jacobs always had a way of making her depressed. She kicked herself every day she had to return to the clinic to see his oily smile. She had tried to suppress the words that he had hissed toward her in lust, but she couldn’t. Sighing with grief, Nicola tossed her keys upon the coffee table.

The jingle of keys immediately alerted the household that Nicola was home. Before Nicola could further contemplate her Hell, she heard a high-pitched shriek. Immediately, Lucy came tearing down the stairs in a rush to attack her mother. A blur of flaxen locks, purple clothing, squeals, arms, and legs scrambled into Nicola’s good arm.

Lucy pressed many kisses upon her mother as she exploded with excitement. “Grammy had to take Uncle Danny home. He had a party to go to with a girl. Eww, do you think he’s gonna kiss her? AND, Aunt Rosa said she would be back later because she has a boy coming over to Grammy’s house for a movie… Do you think Aunt Rosa is going to kiss that guy? Doesn’t she know that boys have cooties? I mean, Mommy–”

“Woah, slow down a second, Sweetheart. Gramma left you here?” Nicola interrupted with a nervous smile. She couldn’t imagine her mother just abandoning Lucy. It made her sick to her stomach to even imagine such a concept.

“Yep, Grammy left! So, what did you do to get that owie?” Lucy answered, flitting to another topic.

“Lucy, wait, who did Gramma leave you with?”

“One of your good friends who thought you leapt off the side of the planet,” a familiar voice called.

“Hollie!” Nicola laughed happily, whipping around in shock. Lucy clapped her hands, delighted in her mother’s surprise. Nicola kissed her daughter’s cheek, sitting her down on the floor. She then wrapped her good arm around Hollie with a happy squeal. Nicola and Hollie had become friends in high school when Nicola started dating her former husband exclusively. Hollie had been one of the girlfriends in the group that surrounded Nicola and her husband, so Hollie and Nicola quickly clicked. They had been quite a crazy pair during high school and the beginning of college. Yet, sadly, Nicola and Hollie became separated after Nicola and her husband were parted and Lucy was born.

“Your mom found my number in that little address book of yours. She didn’t have anyone else she could call to care for Lucy. Of course, I agreed on the spot and hurried over. Your family hasn’t changed a bit, Nic. Didn’t realize that I’d be seeing you with a busted arm, but it’s great to see you nonetheless,” Hollie explained with a teasing smile. Her dark blue eyes shimmered with a familiar laughter that Nicola had long been accustomed to. Her body was still lean and toned from athletics, covered by a pair of tight boot-cut jeans and a blue tank top with the printed words, Bad News, scrawled across the front. Tortoise-shell rimmed glasses perched on her nose gave her intellectual appeal, but was quickly hindered by the sapphire gem set in her right nostril. Her short blonde locks were tossed into an ordinary ponytail. Nicola felt relieved knowing it was the same Hollie.

“Thank you so much,” Nicola gushed, kissing Hollie’s cheek. Nicola knew that they both had much to share with one another, but Lucy tugged on Nicola’s jeans. It was obvious that Lucy was upset that she didn’t have her mother’s undivided attention. Nicola offered an apologetic look to Hollie, quickly scooping Lucy up with her good arm. She kissed her daughter’s cheek, causing Lucy to giggle. “How was your day, Munchie?”

“GREAT! Grammy and I watched Beauty and the Beast. Then, Uncle Danny started pulling on my hair, so I beat him up. Then Aunt Rosa said that Uncle Danny was bad because he got beat by a girl. So, Uncle Danny chased Aunt Rosa out to the kitchen and sprayed her with that water bottle you keep if Aunt Rosa burns the toast again… So, how did you get the owie, Mommy?” Lucy rambled while the girls walked into the living room. Lucy traced her small fingers down the hard plaster covering her mother’s arm in curiousness. She had only seen this type of plaster on Danny when he was trying stupid stunts with his skateboard, roller blades, or bike.

“Mommy was being silly today, that’s how she got the owie,” Nicola answered, sitting down on the coach.

“Did you try to jump over a pool with Uncle Danny’s skateboard?” Lucy asked, referring to Danny’s obnoxious stunt that placed Danny’s leg in a cast for several weeks.

“No, Mommy tripped over something and fell down on her arm. So, now I have to wear this itchy cast for a few weeks. Mommy’s going to need you to be a big helper while her arm is in this nasty thing. Okay?”

“Sure! Can I play doctor?” Lucy asked. Her cerulean eyes lit up as if she had found a treasure.

“Sure, Munchie,” Nicola agreed, ruffling her daughter’s locks. Lucy squealed with delight, scrambling off her mother’s lap. The little girl quickly jumped to the floor and raced up the stairs. Nicola had bought Lucy a pretend doctor’s bag for a birthday present. Lucy had been eager to play doctor with her dolls, bears, and other stuffed animals. Nicola was sure that Lucy was trying to locate the bag to play doctor with her.

“She has her father’s beautiful blue eyes,” Hollie commented through the silence. Nicola briefly nodded, smiling painfully. Hollie offered a small smile of embarrassment, noting that Nicola still didn’t want to speak of her lost husband. Hollie understood that the incident had been quite rough and knew not to press the boundaries of the first reunion. Hollie quickly changed the subject. “Nic, you never trip over things. Mind telling me how you really broke your arm?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t even try that with me, Chicky,” Hollie warned. “I could see through your blonde-stupor-airhead routine in high school and I can still see through it.”

Nicola hesitated, “My patient—”

“Famous Howie Dorough—”

“Did Rosa tell–”

“No, your sister didn’t squeal for once. Your name is all over the papers now. Someone must have leaked to the papers. Where ever Dorough’s name is mentioned, your picture and name soon follow.”

“Damn it!”

“Yeah, I know how you hate when your privacy is leaked. Not much you can do though,” Hollie replied apologetically. She waited a few seconds, allowing Nicola a few seconds to vent silently. She quickly blurted, “So, what happened? Did you get into a jealous argument with a girlfriend? Or attacked by a mob of groupies? Or…”

“Hollie, it was nothing that brutal!”

“Then what?”

“I can’t break patient confidentiality—”

“You’re still such a goody-goody!” Hollie complained. “Just tell me!”

Nicola sighed with grief, knowing Hollie would stop at nothing till the information was revealed. She glared at her friend with disgust, but Hollie simply smirked in triumph. “My patient was upset and threw a TV. It was a simple case of wrong place, wrong time. I walked in just as the TV was hurled in my direction. The TV crushed my arm–”

“That sleazy jerk! I can’t believe–”

“It wasn't intentional!” Nicola blurted, immediately coming to Howie’s defense. Hollie’s eyes went wide with wonder. “I walked in at the wrong time, Holl! His friends are ignoring him and he can’t accept it. He always thought they were close and when something terrible happened they ran away… He’d never want to hurt me. It was just one of those wrong place, wrong time issues, really!”

“Jezz, Nic, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were fa–”

“Don’t say–”

“Falling for him,” Hollie finished without hesitation.

Nicola groaned. It had only taken Hollie five minutes to lay Nicola’s emotions wide open on the table. In some ways, she realized why she had distanced herself from Hollie when her husband was gone. Nevertheless, she could no longer deny the feelings that had been building up inside her heart. She glanced worriedly at her good friend. “To tell you the truth, I do think I’m falling for him.”

“Yeah, but there’s always a ‘but’ when it comes to your enlightening speeches.”

“But, I can’t,” Nicola admitted, despite the cocky smile she received from Hollie. “It’s a breech of patient-doctor relations. It’s completely unethical and unprofessional. Never in all my years… It’s just not a healthy or proper relationship for someone that has a child to care for.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Under any normal circumstances, I would find someone to replace me as his caregiver.”

“And here comes another but,” Hollie declared in a singsong pitch.

“Dr. Jacobs said if I sign off on this assignment that I’m fired. He’s even gone to say that he’ll call social services on me and have Lucy removed from my care… He’s a powerful man in this city… And he has one of the best paying clinics… I can’t be fired. Lucy needs me and she needs things,” Nicola exclaimed wearily. “So, I’m basically stuck.”

“I’m sorry, Nic,” Hollie soothed softly, wrapping her arms around Nicola’s figure. Hollie could hear the quick pattering of tiny feet down the stairs. Hollie offered a smile, knowing that Lucy would cheer up Nicola. That’s all that Nicola’s mother could talk about – Nicola and Lucy’s extraordinary relationship. “Your mom said that she’d bring dinner after she gets Danny and Rosa-Lynn settled. Afterwards, can I take you shopping to clear your mind?”

“That’d be nice.”

“Great! You need a friend right now,” Hollie laughed as Lucy ran into the room. She had her hair pulled beneath a white band with a circular light attached to the front. A long white robe trailed along the floor as Lucy pulled a large black case behind her. “Can I confide one more thing before your appointment with Dr. Lucy?”

“Sure, what?”

“Your mom and I have received several phone calls from a Mr. Howard Dorough who has been pleading for you to return the phone call.”

Chapter 19 - More Than Deserved

Nicola could only smile as Rosa-Lynn and Hollie persisted in dragging her about the large mall. Her friend and sister had finally persuaded her into getting out of the house to relax. Both had seen that the stress was taking a toll upon Nicola’s usually sunny personality. Nicola had hesitated leaving Lucy at first, but Danny insisted on spending the night with his niece. Lucy didn’t seem to mind Nicola leaving for a few hours while Danny entertained her, providing that her mother brought her back a present. Nicola was extremely thankful at that moment to have such a caring family.

“Thank you for making me go out,” Nicola enthused for the hundredth time. The girls were currently occupied in their favorite store, glancing at various items of clothing. Nicola adjusted her sling with a grimace, and then continued to admire the sleek, silky garments.

“We wanted to take you out so your Mom didn’t worry,” Hollie declared, holding up a sizzling pink skirt to Nicola’s slim waist. Hollie cocked her head to the side, thinking about the style, and quickly pursed her lips with distaste. She returned the garment to the rack and began to search again. “With that strawberry blonde hair of yours – pink is definitely not your color, child.”

“Thank you, General-Fashion-Expert-Hollie!” Nicola declared with a mocking salute.

“Bite me, smartass,” Hollie quipped, knowing that Nicola detested the color pink.

“I still can’t believe you lie to Mom about your arm,” Rosa-Lynn finally interjected, unable to bite her tongue any longer. She carefully picked up a pair of jeans and folded them over her arm. She then offered a repugnant glance to her older sister. “To think she believed that you broke your arm in five places because you tripped over a set of weights and fell on your arm! I mean, damn, Nic, that’s just not right.”

“Rosie, no matter how brain-smart your sister is, she’s always been a true blonde and your mother knows that,” Hollie teased.

Nicola groaned, pushing Hollie lightly on the arm. She then glared at her sister, knowing what Rosa-Lynn was getting to. “Rosa, don’t you dare squeal to Momma. There’s no reason to freak her out. I’m stuck with him as a patient, no matter what, so I don’t want an hour lecture of quitting my job because I’m endangering Lucy and myself. I told you and Danny the truth in total confidence that you’d keep quiet. I know Danny will, because we’ve always covered for each other, but you on the other hand… You’re a Gossip Queen.”

Rosa-Lynn snorted in disagreement. “I’m not going to snitch, but think about it, Nic. You know you want to punch the bastard for breaking a TV on your arm! Or you could at least sue him – then you’d have the money to open up your own clinic! I mean, I can’t believe I actually thought he was kind of cute. Then I find out that he beats on my sister. Under the circumstances, I should hate him and burn all his CDs in the fireplace, along with the posters and other tokens… He’s just lucky that Nick Carter is his friend and that he’s on all the posters and sings in the CDs. Because, I couldn’t burn Nick Carter, I mean, the man is a God–”

“Damn, Nic, she hasn’t changed a bit,” Hollie declared with exasperation, listening to Rosa-Lynn ramble about the wonders of her favorite singer. Nicola nodded, playfully rolling her eyes. But something alerted Hollie as she studied her friend’s facial features for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay with what happened?”

Nicola groaned, turning away from her friend. She picked up a tank top that was her size, but it looked as if Lucy could wear it. Nicola clicked her tongue, quickly placing the item of clothing back. She offered Hollie a tired smile. “No, I’m not okay with what happened, Holl. He had no right to hurt me, even if it wasn’t intentional. I do understand, however, his violent outburst. It’s obvious that he fears the future and how this accident will affect him. His career, he feels, has ended without his consent and he’s bitter. But, the hardest is the desertion he feels when his friends abandoned him. They have caused so much trouble for me it’s unbelievable! To think that these men who were supposed to be his brothers would be so callous and…complete jackasses! If I could ever get a hold on them… Oh, you have no idea… I would lay them straight in a heartbeat! Those pompus–”

Before Nicola could continue, she received a sharp blow to her side. Hollie gasped in complete horror. Various items of clothing flew into the air as Nicola crashed to the ground with heavy weight bearing on top of her. Nicola grunted in surprise as a woman’s voice shrieked in terror. Nicola listened to her heart slam against her ribcage when she noticed she was among a pile of body parts and clothing. The weight began to shift wildly, causing Nicola to yelp. Several voices invaded her thoughts as she reached to clutch her injured arm in pain. Someone had bumped into her too hard.

“I AM SO SORRY!” the woman heaved as she tried to disentangle herself. “I had no idea that you were – Oh! I’m so sorry! My friend…”

“It’s okay,” Nicola stated wearily as Hollie and Rosa-Lynn quickly pulled her up from the floor. Nicola ignored the dozens of questions as she glanced at the woman. The mysterious woman was shorter than Nicola by several inches. She was thin and petite. Her soft brown curls were pulled into a bun at the base of her head, although some curls had fallen loose from the jolt. Her dark brown eyes were wide with worry as another woman came to her aid.

“Jezz, Jamila! I didn’t think that Nick would take me seriously! The guys are coming, but damn, I am so sorry!” the other woman blurted with a playful laughter in her soft voice. The other woman was about Nicola’s height with a trim body and softly defined curves. Her dark blonde locks were twirled into a braid at the base of her neck extended to below her shoulders. Her nails were done with a professional French-tip manicure, alerting Nicola that she cared deeply about her appearance. Her dark indigo eyes sparkled with amusement as she wrapped her arms lovingly around the other woman. She looked like a model right off a fashion magazine.

“I ran into this woman!” Jamila, the assaulter, exclaimed in horror as she gestured to Nicola.

“JAMILA! BABY!” a raspy voice exploded before Nicola could begin speaking. She watched a blur of a man quickly ascend on the group and scoop Jamila into his arms. He feverously kissed her forehead, causing her to giggle. “Raegan was such an ditz for telling Nick to pretend you were a football. And Nick was an ass for actually chasing you! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Jamila laughed, winking at the other woman named Raegan. Nicola focused her eyes on the couple as Hollie and Rosa-Lynn continued to examine her for bruises. Nicola could have sworn she knew the man that stood before her. He looked so familiar and his appearance was not one that Nicola could easily forget. His arms that wrapped about Jamila were covered with various images of ink. His body was adorned with various glittering gold jewelry. His eyes were shielded behind an expensive pair of sunglasses, despite the darkness of the mall. Nicola ran her hand through her silky curls as three other men rushed forward, each looking familiar also.

“Rae! Don’t dare Nick to do anything like that!” a shorter man with sandy blonde curls scolded, pulling the other woman into his arms. He offered a friendly kiss to her cheek, causing Raegan to pull in for a deeper kiss. His eyes were the lightest shade of cerulean that Nicola had ever seen. His dimpled cheeks and radiant smile caused Raegan to giggle as she kissed him again. “You are just too wild sometimes, Rae!”

“You know you love me, Bri-Bear!” Raegan taunted.

“That’s true,” Brian sighed sadly, causing Raegan to shriek. He kissed her again.

“You guys are truly insane at times,” another man exclaimed. He was taller than the other two with raven dark locks that brushed against his thick shoulders. His eyes were a light color of green, reminding Nicola of exotic oceans. He quickly pushed on another man, causing him to bark.

“Jezz, Kevin! Sorry, Jam, I didn’t think you’d freak like that!” the tallest man exclaimed once he regained his composure. He looked to be the youngest of the group. His light blonde locks were spiked with some sort of hair product. His eyes were a dark blue and filled with impish natures. He shoved his hands deep into his back pockets, glancing at the floor. “I am sorry, Jammy.”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes, Nicky!” Jamila scorned.

Everything seemed to fall into place as Rosa-Lynn tugged sharply on Nicola’s injured arm. Nicola yelped in agony, but Rosa-Lynn ignored her. Nicola noticed her sister’s eyes grow large in awe and wonder. It was as if a bolt of lightening had frozen Rosa-Lynn in place. Hollie frowned in confusion as Rosa-Lynn pointed sharply at the four men. Her mouth hung slightly ajar as she squealed softly, “Nic! Nic! It’s them!”

“It’s who?” Nicola whispered.

“THE BACKSTREET BOYS!” Rosa-Lynn hissed loudly.

“Are you serious?” Nicola answered softly.

Hollie studied the men for a moment. She quickly nodded in agreement. “Rosa’s finally right about something, Nic.”

Nicola allowed nothing further to be said. She quickly stepped away from the girls and toward the boys. AJ pulled away from Jamila in surprise, finally noticing that Jamila had knocked into someone. Nicola’s eyes burned with a deep hatred. These men had caused her so much grief and aggravation over the months. All her hard work had been smothered and burned by their lack of sensitivity. Howie refused to get better because they had betrayed him and broken his spirit.

“You! I just can’t believe it! God must have been looking out for me, today,” Nicola muttered, glancing at all the boys. Each man’s face was quickly placed with a name in Nicola’s mind. Howie had always spoken of them in the earlier days before he became overly bitter.

“We know! No one can ever believe when they run into us. But, yep, we’re the Backstreet Boys. And we know that you obviously love us,” Nick interrupted with a haughty smile. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, winking at Nicola.

“We’d be happy to give you an autograph to apologize for Jamila running into you. Nick was just fooling around and she didn’t mean to run into you,” AJ agreed quickly, reaching for his girlfriend’s hand.

“No, that’s not it! I need to speak to you about Howie—”

“Oh, how kind of you. We love to know we have caring fans out there,” Brian enthused, bringing Raegan close to his side.

“Sweetheart, he’s doing fine. I was just with him today. We were sitting in living room writing some more songs for our new album. He’s doing fantastic. Always has a big smile on his face. He’s eager to see his fans again. He says he’ll be walking any day now,” AJ lied with a devilish smile.

“BULLSHIT!” Nicola exploded, unable to contain herself any longer. She was tired of the lies. Her eyes turned dark with hatred and disgust. “Howie’s body is still recuperating! There’s no way he’ll be walking again. Even though the swelling is slowly diminishing in his back, there’s still nerve damage. And the nerves in his legs were so traumatized that he has no feeling. No way in Hell will he be walking any day now!”

“Excuse me?” Kevin choked.

“Don’t play dumb. You guys have seen me before,” Nicola hissed.

“We’ve never met you,” Nick mumbled, growing pale. Raegan and Jamila glared at their boyfriends, not liking the tone that Nicola was using. The girls could tell that something was wrong with the situation.

“You’ve seen me on the magazines, though, haven’t you?” Nicola retorted crisply.

AJ studied her for a moment. He cocked his head to the side, releasing Jamila’s hand. Suddenly, his body tensed. “You’re D’s physical therapist, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am!” Nicola burst with indignation. She balled her good hand into a fist, bringing it to her side. “I spend almost all my time over at his house! I take the time and effort to make sure that if there ever was a surgery to correct his damaged nerves that he’d have a full recovery to walk. Yet, you don’t care! None of you! You don’t know what pain he goes through every day to make sure that his muscles don’t shrink and become hard. You don’t know the anguish he toils over, knowing that he will never dance again. Yet, you stand there with smartass smirks on your faces like you can fool the world! Well, you can’t. Not once have I seen you in his home. And don’t try to deny it or me. My face is plastered everywhere next to Howie’s name. So, I do know what I’m talking about. Not once have you seen him since his release from the hospital. And, because of your foolish and blatant behavior, I’m suffering!”

All four men hesitated as Jamila and Raegan slowly digested the information. Their eyes immediately shifted to the men in disgust. Raegan reached for Brian’s upper arm as if to stop him from turning. Brian winced and glanced at the floor in shame. “How could you?” Raegan whispered.

“Is she for real?” Jamila asked, glaring at AJ. Her dark eyes lit with betrayal. She placed her small hands angrily upon her curved hips. Several curls fell against her cheeks as she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Baby, please,” AJ faltered.

“All those weeks you told me you were visiting him? You lied to me!” Jamila accused.

“We were just doing what Kevin told us,” Brian answered for AJ, looking back and forth between Raegan and Jamila.

“Don’t you dare place all the blame on Kevin! You’re just as guilty!” Raegan growled.

“Sweetheart!” Brian protested.

“I need to finish,” Nicola announced before either woman could yell further. Raegan and Jamila gave Nicola approving nods and shot glares toward their cowering boyfriends. Nicola made sure that she held all of their attentions. “Howie feels betrayed, because of your ignorance toward his needs. You all have changed his identity and personality for the worst. He is bitter and resentful. He won’t trust me to any degree because he believes that if he invests time in me that I will run out on him like his friends. He refuses to get well because you all abandoned him. He sees no future because you took away the most precious item of his – his friendships. You have failed him for your own comforts and public gains. Damn you for hurting him—”

“What happened to your arm?” Brian whispered, unable to keep his eyes off the plaster.

“Howie pitched a TV toward the door as he saw you using him for your own fortunes. Needless to say, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I refuse to blame him. I blame you. You’re hurting him with your prideful ignorance and need for fame. I hope you all rot in Hell for what you’ve done to that man,” Nicola announced darkly.

The men grew silent as Nicola quickly regained her composure. She took a deep breath and brushed away her fallen strawberry-blonde curls. She turned toward Hollie and Rosa-Lynn, nodding to them. The girls seemed deadpanned in Nicola’s decision to leave the men standing. They gasped at the astounded looks upon the boys’ faces. Nicola walked past Hollie and Rosa-Lynn, calling to them, “C’mon, I refuse to waste any more time on these jerks.”

“What do you want us to do?” AJ blurted finally as he watched Nicola walk away without regret.

“What do you think?” Nicola replied, without looking back, which was more than they deserved.

Chapter 20 – Guilty as Charged

AJ and Brian sat on the couch as Jamila and Raegan hovered over them. After the ugly incident at the mall, the girls had forced the boys into Raegan’s home for a stern lecture. Luckily, Kevin and Nick had managed to skip out unscathed, promising to visit Howie the next day. Jamila glanced at AJ, huffing loudly, and placing her hands upon her hips. Raegan just mumbled incoherently as she crossed her arms over her chest. Both girls looked displeased with their boyfriends’ actions. Brian and AJ knew they were in trouble.

“How could you be so stupid?” Raegan finally burst, unable to hold her tongue.

“Sweetheart—”

“Don’t even try to sweetheart me!” Raegan interrupted with a growl. Brian slumped back into the couch, covering his eyes with his hands. He took a deep breath, almost afraid to gaze into Raegan’s darkening eyes. Though, she didn’t care if he was looking upon her. Raegan spoke quite freely, “You tell me all the time how wonderful Howie has been to you! How he was the one to stay the entire night at the hospital while you underwent your heart surgery. You tell me that he has a heart of gold and you could never betray him. Yet, you did anyway! That man has done nothing but wonderful things for you and when he needs you most, what do you do? Run! What kind of man are you? What kind of brother are you?”

Brian looked down in shame. Nicola’s words had been bitter enough, but to receive the same anger from his girlfriend was twofold. He grimaced, tugging on his sandy curls. He finally glanced upward at Raegan. “Sweetie, I feel awful, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay! You should feel worse than just awful! That poor man has suffered because of you! Luckily Jamila bumped into that woman, because you deserved every word! To think you were using the fans to sway your own profits. It’s disgusting, Brian! Simply disgusting! You’re no better than half the artists out there milking everything they can. Here you have a ‘brother’ that’s in tremendous amounts of pain and all you can think about is your next appearance and next check!” Raegan scolded.

“Not to mention you both lied to us!” Jamila interjected with an unmistakable Puerto Rican accent, unable to keep silent any longer. AJ and Brian winced again – their list of wrongs continued to accumulate with every word. Jamila clicked her tongue, speaking faster than before, “You know, I really thought we were connecting Alex. You know I love you a lot. And, even though we’ve only been going out a few months, I wanted to think that this was indeed a serious relationship. Yet, you lied to me. How can I possibly believe that you’re taking our relationship seriously if you can’t even confide in me? And, no doubt that Raegan feels the same toward you, Brian!”

“We were wrong,” AJ admitted softly.

“Yes, you were,” Jamila retorted tartly.

“Can you forgive us?” Brian asked softly. He stared at Raegan pleadingly. He had never found a girl quite as exotic as Raegan. Her energy and exuberance matched his quirky nature in every way. It was foolish of him to think he could fool Raegan. It was also foolish to turn his back upon Howie. Brian clasped his hands in front of him like a scolded schoolboy.

“In all honesty, Bri-Bear, I will always love you, but you shouldn’t be asking for my forgiveness,” Raegan answered, sitting down on the couch beside him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew that he had been scared to visit Howie, but that didn’t excuse his behavior. She could have turned her back on him, but she loved him too much to dwell on his idiocy.

“I know, I think we’re all going to visit Howie tomorrow with Kevin and Nick,” Brian finally confirmed, glancing toward AJ. However, Brian received no confirmation from AJ. Jamila seemed to be preoccupying most of AJ’s energy. They were embraced on the couch, sharing affectionate kisses. Raegan smirked at the scene, because Brian blushed furiously. “AJ!”

AJ finally pulled himself away from Jamila, although he still held her tightly in his arms. He studied Brian for a moment, giving a small smile. He looked overly relieved that Jamila wasn’t upset with him. He knew he had much to make up for, but he hoped that Howie would be willing to accept his faults “Yes, we’ll visit Howie tomorrow.”

“Can we visit with you?” Jamila inquired.

“Visit with us?” AJ repeated slowly.

“Yes, we’ve been going out for months and I haven’t even met your best friend!”

“I know, Babe.”

“Can we?” Raegan asked.

“We don’t even know if Howie is going to want to see us,” Brian frowned, now realizing how much he had hurt his friend.

“You’re just going to have to try,” Raegan urged.

*~*~*

Howie’s stomach churned violently as he placed his cordless phone down for the final time. It was useless; Nicola would not answer his calls. Various people had picked up the last several calls. Three women had picked up, promising to deliver his messages. Yet, the boy who picked up the phone cursed him for even attempting to call. Howie knew that he had finally burned the last of his bridges to Nicola’s heart. He had no doubt that he had severely injured Nicola’s arm from the TV. His eyes blurred with salty tears at the mere thought of harming such a rare flower.

“I’m sorry,” Howie choked to himself, covering his face in shame. How could he have dared to hurt such a beautiful woman? Where was his humility? She only tried to make the best of his situation. She truly did care for his well-being, no matter what nasty comments he released. He acted like a venomous viper. He had stricken at her with an intense vengeance. His poison had finally deteriorated her extraordinary essence.

Before Howie could create a plan to retrieve what was left of his dignity, the doorbell chimed. Howie jerked in his chair with surprise. His heart pounded with delight at the unexpected visitor. He prayed it was Nicola, because then he could right all his wrongs. Hurriedly, Howie wheeled himself quickly toward the front door. He pressed on the button that had been installed to open his front door without hassles on his part.

“Nicola—” Howie’s voice dropped suddenly. His face contorted to a look of pure disgust at the four familiar faces. Nick, Brian, Kevin, and AJ stood before him with two unfamiliar women behind them. They each held a different look of sadness and guilt, but Howie wouldn’t let them off so easily. The pain inside his heart seemed to throb without dignity. Howie couldn’t control the icy smirk that formed on his face. “To what do I owe this GRACIOUS meeting?”

“Hey, D,” AJ answered hesitantly.

“Damn, you would think that I’m tired of seeing you all here! The TV says that you all are here every single day. Such great brothers I have, don’t you think?” Howie hissed, unable to bury his anger. He noticed that the two women were glaring at Brian and AJ, but said nothing to them. He finally had a chance to confront those who caused him the deepest pains in his heart. He would not ruin his moment of glory for formalities. He returned his steely glare to the boys. “Riveting show yesterday, I must tell you—”

“Howie, we came to say we’re sorry. Can we please come in and talk?” Brian interrupted.

Howie hesitated now. He would have been justified in slamming the door on them, but Nicola’s suggestion invaded his thoughts. She had suggested Howie make an effort to forgive his friends and family no matter what the circumstances. She had tried to explain that everyone had a different reaction to tragedy and grief. And, yes, their actions were misguided and hurtful to Howie, but they still loved him regardless. Forgiveness was the hard, but it would help him heal. Somehow, Nicola’s plea along with the boys’ pitiful eyes caused him to cave.

“Come in,” Howie finally consented. He guided them to the living room without much conversation. Each one seated themselves down on the various couches. Howie noticed that the dark-haired woman stayed next to AJ, while the blonde sat near Brian. Howie sighed, parking his wheelchair in front of them. He tried not to be upset that everyone made a point not to gaze upon the metal cage that held Howie. “What do you need?”

“We each want to say something to you,” AJ announced, waiting for Howie to agree. AJ swallowed hard once he received a tight nod. He scooted to the edge of the couch to be closer to Howie. His eyes were murky with apprehension. “D, basically, we’re assholes. And, we can never apologize enough for dissing you after your accident. I also want to tell you that… the biggest reason I was afraid to see you was because I felt so guilty. I was the one driving the damn boat when the rope broke. It was all my fault that you ended up like that… I mean, if I hadn’t been trying to throw you off… I am so sorry, D. I toss and turn at night having Hellish nightmares about it. I am so sorry, D—”

“It’s not your fault,” Howie choked. It looked as if AJ’s entire body relaxed with some sort of relief. AJ’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears of pain. Howie could see the guilt plaguing AJ since the accident. Howie didn’t blame AJ for what happened. The rope had been faulty. Howie motioned for AJ to come to him. Carefully, AJ embraced the injured man tightly. Howie sniffled with his own tears, unable to control his emotions. “The line was faulty. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, Aje. Okay? Don’t blame yourself.”

“D, we are really big…jerks,” Nick explained as AJ slowly released Howie. AJ ran his hands against his wet cheeks as he fell back onto the couch. Immediately, the dark-haired woman wrapped her arms around him. Howie focused on Nick, who was glancing at his hands. “You were always there for us when we needed you. We shouldn’t have let you down.”

“No, we shouldn’t have,” Brian continued. He offered a shy smile of guilt. “You were there every second after my heart surgery. I should have returned the favor, but the idea of you being hurt was too much. Can you forgive us?”

“We understand if you don’t want to, though,” Kevin interjected. “We were in the wrong. As the older brother, I should have done the right thing, but I didn’t. Instead, I wanted to use your accident for our benefits. It was wrong. It was utterly wrong. But we really hope that you’ll forgive us and let us try again.”

Howie glanced at the boys. Each face held a different pained expression. Howie now understood what Nicola meant. The boys were truly sorry for their mistakes. It had taken time for them to accept that the accident was real and there was no changing his destiny. They wanted to become a part of his life again, no matter what happened. Howie offered a shaky smile, not able to believe the good fortune that smiled upon him. He felt relieved that the boys were back. It had felt as if a piece of himself were missing without the boys. “I can forgive all of you on one condition.”

“What?” AJ blurted with relief. He was willing to do anything at that moment.

“Introduce me to these two women,” Howie answered with a sly smile.

Brian and AJ both broke out into earnest smiles. Brian quickly motioned to the blonde woman to join him. He kissed her hand and then quickly threaded his fingers with hers. Howie admitted that she was quite striking. Howie smiled when he noticed that she fit perfectly in the crook of Brian’s arm. “Howie, this is Raegan. She’s my girlfriend and I love her to death. Raegan, this is Howie. He’s brilliant with writing songs, too. Maybe he’ll help write one for you. D, Raegan is starting to prepare for a singing career.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Raegan. I’m sure you have the voice of an angel,” Howie retorted, holding his hand toward her.

Instead, Raegan bent down and wrapped her arms around Howie’s neck. She gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. Her face warmed with a gentle smile. “I’m so glad to finally meet you. Bri-Bear only has great things to say about you. And, you seem to be everything he says, not any less!”

“I’m sure it’ll be the same with you,” Howie retorted with a blushing smile.

AJ and the other woman quickly presented themselves as Raegan kissed Howie’s cheek once more. AJ beamed with excitement as Howie glanced over the woman. She barely reached AJ’s shoulder, but her dark eyes bubbled with intense enthusiasm. AJ leaned down to kiss her neck before speaking. “D, this is Jamila. This is my girlfriend. She’s a photographer and she’ll be doing a lot of our shoots from now on. Jamila, this is my best friend, Howie.”

“Hi, Jamila,” Howie replied.

“Finally! I’m so happy to meet Alex’s best friend. He’s always talking about you. He was so devastated after the accident. Thank you so much for forgiving him. Maybe he’ll sleep easier at night. You are such a tender-heart,” Jamila giggled, kissing Howie’s cheek.

“I can tell already you’re going to be a Godsend for Aje,” Howie retorted, kissing Jamila’s cheek. Within seconds, the four boys jumped into an embrace with Howie, almost knocking him over in the wheelchair. Each gave their own personal apology along with another hug. Howie felt as if he finally had his family back. Pollyanna would be absolutely amazed. “You guys want to have dinner over here?”

“Yes, we have a lot to catch up on!” Raegan answered for the others, causing Howie to laugh. The others chuckled, rolling their eyes. Howie was amazed at her level of energy. She was chipper and bubbly – just like Brian.

“We’ll go order the pizza, c’mon, Rae!” Brian concluded, tugging on his girlfriend.

“We’ll get drinks,” Kevin, Nick, and Jamila volunteered.

“Aje?” Howie questioned once the two were alone. Howie couldn’t understand why the boys felt so pushed to show up today of all days. Why this day? Howie chewed on his tongue for a moment when AJ glanced at him with question. “What made you decide to come back?”

“Honesty?” AJ hesitated.

“Of course.”

“Jamila accidently ran into your physical therapist. Of course, Nicola, yeah, that’s her name. She recognized who we were… Damn, she reamed our asses out for not visiting you. Kevin even got quiet! I mean, she just kept swearing at us, telling us we were awful! She tore at us like there was no tomorrow, saying we were letting you down. She made us realize we were complete assholes. I’m surprised that she didn’t slam us all to the ground and beat the Hell out of us. She was so pissed that we hurt you.”

“Nicola did all of that?” Howie awed.

“Yeah! Jezz, D, she’s one tough chick. Never backed down from us once. She didn’t care who the Hell we were. She just cared about you and what was happening with your life. She takes care of you better than Darcy ever will,” AJ confided candidly.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Howie answered with a knowing smile. Maybe she still did care for him like he hoped.

Chapter 21 - Charming Apologies

Nicola smiled affectionately as Lucy quickly crawled into her lap. The little girl had put on her favorite Disney Movie: The Little Mermaid. Now, Lucy folded her mother’s good arm around her little body for warmth. She snuggled against Nicola’s stomach, resting her head against Nicola’s chest. Nicola kissed the top of her daughter’s head and then began to stroke her daughter’s long locks. She loved moments like these with Lucy. She wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Nicola couldn’t imagine her life without Lucy, because without Lucy, Nicola would be unfulfilled and lonely.

“Guess you won’t be drinking this milkshake?” Hollie called out as she walked into the living room. She gave a sly smile, signaling to Nicola’s favorite vanilla milkshake. Hollie had spent yet another night, promising to help Nicola as much as possible.

“Shh, Aunt Hollie! The shark might hear you and eat Flounder!” Lucy exclaimed with fear. She quickly averted her eyes from the TV to offer Hollie a glare. Hollie offered a helpless shrug toward Nicola as Lucy groaned at Hollie’s ignorance. Nicola stifled a laugh as Lucy quickly went back to her movie.

“She’s seen this a million times, but acts like it’s her first,” Nicola informed Hollie. Lucy ignored her mother’s voice, now too engrossed in the movie to care otherwise.

“She’s darling, Cola-Pop,” Hollie complimented, using an old nickname from high school. She gazed upon the young child, studying her features. Most of Lucy’s beautiful features reminded Hollie of Nicola. Lucy’s actions even mirrored her mother. However, her straight, pale blonde locks and beautiful teal colored eyes reminded Hollie of Lucy’s father. “I just feel bad because she’s four. She’s so smart and…gosh! I missed her growing up. I feel horrible about missing her growth, because I was her Godmother, but after Trevor… You slowly separated from me and the rest of our friends—”

“Hollie, don’t, please,” Nicola whispered tightly. Her eyes began to tear at the mere mention of her husband’s name. She had never dealt with all the raw emotions that had surfaced during that ugly time. Nicola had merely focused on the birth of Lucy to hide her pain. She refused to relive the terror. Nicola swallowed hard, trying to forget again.

“Sorry, Cola-Pop… I thought…” Hollie let her sentence drop within the tight air. She affectionately ran her hand through her friend’s thick curls. She decided to bring up a lighter issue. “I’m so glad your mom called for me to help you. Thank God you still kept my number!”

“Yeah, I did miss you,” Nicola agreed, watching Lucy’s eyes droop with fatigue.

“Maybe I should move in then?” Hollie teased. “Your home is much better than my little apartment—”

“Don’t go that far!” Nicola laughed. Hollie smirked at Nicola’s abrupt refusal. Hollie could be completely insane at times and Nicola could never handle her full-time. Hollie immediately broke into a fit of giggles, causing Nicola to smile.

“How about I just visit often?”

“Deal,” Nicola concluded, feeling Lucy completely relax against her. Nicola smiled with triumph, glancing downward. Nicola’s little angel lay curled asleep, pressed against her side. Lucy’s soft flaxen curls framed her cherubic face, softly blowing with her gentle breaths. Lucy then sighed softly, burying deeper against Nicola. “I love when she falls asleep.”

“She’s so innocent and sweet,” Hollie cooed in agreement.

“Only when she’s asleep,” Nicola reminded. She gently slid Lucy onto the couch as the door opened. Lucy simply curled against a nearby pillow, undisturbed. Nicola stood up and stretched as Danny sauntered into the living room. He held his usual smirk of supremacy, which many girls at his school swooned over. Nicola kissed his cheek warmly. “What are you doing here?”

“Mom bought lunch for you. So, we came here to eat with you. Mom also wanted to make sure you were okay. She’s been going nuts since she found out you broke your arm. Has to make sure her baby girl is okay and all,” Danny explained quietly when he noticed Lucy was taking a nap. He then glanced to Hollie with surprise. “Hey! Long time no see!”

“Likewise, Squirt,” Hollie answered, kissing his cheek as Rosa-Lynn entered. She immediately plopped onto the couch and began to admire her newly manicured nails.

Nicola could hear her mother struggling with bags, but Rosa-Lynn did nothing. Nicola quickly rushed to her door. She offered a bright smile. “Hey, Momma!” she greeted quickly, watching her mother shuffle some bags of food. Nicola couldn’t help, so she simply followed her mother into the kitchen and brushed a kiss against her cheek. “You didn’t have to—”

“Nicola Grace Tilley, don’t start!” Marie chided playfully. She kissed her eldest daughter’s cheek. Nicola held her good arm up in defense, knowing she had been defeated. Marie began to unload the bags once she saw that she had won. “How’s the arm, Sweetie?”

“Sore,” Nicola admitted, noticing her brother sneaking upstairs to lay Lucy down in her own room. Nicola smiled, knowing that Danny was a great uncle to Lucy. He would walk through fire for the little girl.

“Well, go rest your arm then! Call your sister to help me with this food and let me get lunch around.”

“Okay, Momma,” Nicola relented, watching Hollie and Rosa-Lynn scurry into the kitchen as if they had heard the conversation.

Nicola prepared to lie down on the couch with a fresh bag of ice, but the doorbell chimed. Nicola slowly made her way to the door, wondering who it could possibly be. The only people to visit her were her family. She never had any other visitors. She hadn’t the need. When she opened the door in wonderment, she came face to face with Howie and Pollyanna. It was as if her heart had immediately leapt to her throat. Her hand began to feel clammy as held the door. She was deathly silent as she stared at both of them in shock.

“Don’t slam the door on me,” Howie immediately blurted. He looked toward her hand on the door and then to her face. His dark brown eyes stared at her with pleading. On his lap sat a small package and two bouquets of roses. She noticed the tinge of apprehension and remorse lurking within his handsome eyes, but still said nothing. She admitted silently that Howie looked fantastic that afternoon. He wore a simple gray sweater with a pair of dark denim jeans. His curls lay messily against his forehead, beckoning Nicola to run her hands against them. His sweater fit well against his toned chest and arms, reflecting his attractive nature. Nicola didn’t even notice the wheelchair as she was drawn back to his gorgeous eyes. “Will you at least hear me out before you slam the door?”

Nicola hesitated only for a moment, and then opened the door wider. She was curious to say the least. Since the accident, Howie refused to be seen in public. He wanted nothing to do with the press and outside life. Since the boys had profited from his disaster, he found no use in confronting the media. He didn’t want his weakness exposed any more. Yet, he sat now on her doorstep begging for her time. Nicola was very much aware that her family was eavesdropping, but could only focus her attention upon Howie. She finally said the only thing that occupied her mind. “This is your first time out since the accident. Why come here?”

“Because, I foolishly hurt someone very close to me. And, I need to get her back as soon as possible,” Howie replied earnestly. He glanced to see the plaster covering her right arm. Howie winced and swallowed hard, knowing that Pollyanna stood behind him. He would be strong. He refused to back down now. He cared for her. With much needed strength, Howie held up the first bouquet of pink roses to Nicola. “These are to say that I’m truly sorry. I’m well aware that I hurt you in more ways than one. I was rude and selfish; yet, you still persisted in caring for me. You were the only person, besides my family, that looked past my bitterness. You cared for me regardless of my faults. I can’t take back my bitter words nor the broken arm, but I can say that I’m sorry.”

Nicola accepted the flowers, but remained quiet.

Immediately, praying that his time was not shortened, Howie offered the second bouquet of white roses. He smiled softly, unable to hide his happiness. “These are to say thank you. The guys visited me yesterday and apologized for every wrong they ever committed. They only came to apologize because of you. Now, they won’t stop calling to check up on me. They all say that you’re a terrific person and that you’ve cared for me more than other people who have known me for longer. I will be forever grateful for you kicking them in the butt to apologize. Even after I hurt you, you still were compassionate to my needs. Thank you, Nicola.”

Nicola accepted the second batch of roses. She remained silent as she inhaled the sweet aroma the roses provided. Howie could only gaze upon her and compare her appearance to that of a Goddess. Her lustrous strawberry-golden curls fell down in ringlets against the roses, melting into the sea of color. Her cheeks were rosy as the sprinkles of freckles began to darken. He felt his heart skip beats when she finally offered a shy smile toward Nicola. The familiar energetic spark appeared in her lovely green eyes. Howie knew he had won.

“Nicola, can you forgive me?” Howie finally asked.

“With this kind of sucking up, who could say no?” Nicola responded with a joyful laugh. She bent down and placed a gentle kiss on Howie’s cheek. He felt as if he had been lit aflame by the simple contact of her lips. It seemed as if Nicola had felt the very same spark, because she quickly stiffened to a standing position. She offered a nervous laugh, looking quite worried. “You better not do this too often, Howie, or your girlfriend will be jealous,” Nicola blurted, trying to divert the attention away from the feelings.

Howie winced at the comment as Darcy came rushing back to the picture. He knew that Darcy had to be the only thing holding him back from advancing with Nicola. He felt confusion flood his system once again as he stared at his hands. Pollyanna noticed Howie stalling and came to the rescue. She smiled toward both of them. “Nicola, Darcy getting jealous would be the best thing that ever happened to him!” Pollyanna teased.

Nicola nodded with a smirk, knowing about Pollyanna’s obvious disapproval of Howie’s taste in woman. Pollyanna winked toward Howie someone made a noise behind Nicola. She turned around to see her whole family standing behind her. Nicola rolled her eyes playfully, knowing that her family was always ready for some gossip. She glanced toward Howie. “Would you like to meet my family?”

“Of course,” Howie answered, watching the four figures burst from behind Nicola. She could hardly keep her laughter as they gathered around her. Howie couldn’t help but smile at the light dancing against Nicola’s dark emerald eyes. It felt so good to hear her laugh again.

“Howie and Pollyanna, this is my mother, Marie. The boy is my little brother, Danny. The gawking girl that might be drooling is my younger sister, Rosa-Lynn. And, the other woman is my good friend, Hollie,” Nicola introduced, moving down the line of people.

“Hello,” Howie and Pollyanna replied.

“Hey,” Danny answered, feigning a smile. He was still upset that this man had hurt his sister. Yet, when Danny looked at Nicola, his mind changed. He hadn’t seen that look in her eyes for several years. Danny almost didn’t even notice it, but it was love.

“Nice to meet you,” Hollie greeted.

“Could you score me a date with Nick Carter?” Rosa-Lynn blurted, causing Howie to snort with laughter. Hollie quickly clamped her hand over Rosa-Lynn’s gaping mouth to keep her from another stupid comment. Nicola looked horrified as Rosa-Lynn continued to stare at Howie with desire and hope.

“The one’s a little star-struck, sorry,” Hollie whispered apologetically, leading Rosa-Lynn away.

“It’s okay,” Howie answered as Pollyanna stifled a laugh.

“Do you want to stay for lunch?” Marie asked, changing the subject. Howie noticed how similar Nicola and Marie looked. Howie already could tell Marie was a warm soul and quite striking for an older woman. The same spark flittered in Marie’s dark green eyes as Nicola’s eyes.

“Oh, we would love to, but our mother’s already at Howie’s house cooking,” Pollyanna answered, noticing Howie’s disappointment.

“Another time, then?” Marie asked with a smile.

“Of course,” Howie agreed, glancing to Nicola. He had really hoped to stay with her, but his mother was dying to cook him dinner. Sighing, he retrieved his final gift. “Before I forget, I want you to open this when you’re alone. It’s another gift of appreciation and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you again, Nicola.”

“Thank you, too,” she whispered.

“See you on Monday,” Howie called before Nicola shut the door. Her family quickly went back to occupying themselves, leaving her alone. Nicola felt her legs grow weak. She fell back against the wood, sliding all the way to the bottom. She stared at the box in wonder. She couldn’t get rid of the tingles that Howie always seemed to cause. Her heart was beating wildly against her ribcage, alerting her brain to the hidden emotions. Nicola sighed in delight; Howie always seemed to know how to make her melt.

Chapter 22 – Shielded in the Darkness

Nicola ventured to her living room while everyone finished eating lunch. She was aching to know what was inside the delicately wrapped box. She sat down on the couch, staring at the box as if it contained her life. Using her good arm, she delicately unwrapped the purple bow surrounding the black box and popped open the top. Inside the black velvet box was a silver necklace with a moon crescent pendant. Embedded within the moon were tiny slivers of emeralds, matching the exact color of Nicola’s eyes. Gently, she lifted the necklace out of the box as a piece of paper fluttered onto her lap. She felt her eyes prickle with tears at the accompanying note:

Thank God you were shining down on me when the day was dark,
Love, Howie.

“Nicola! What do you want me to do with Lucy’s lunch? Put it in the fridge?” Marie called, walking into the living room. She had been trying to get her daughter’s attention for the past five minutes. She gave an exasperated sigh when she looked upon her daughter. “Nicola Grace, what should I do with Lucy’s lunch?”

Nicola’s eyes blinked rapidly as she concentrated on her mother for a moment. “Lucy? Oh, the fridge is fine, Momma. She’ll eat later since she’s still napping… Oh! God! Thank goodness she was sleeping when all this happened! What a mess that would have been!”

“Excuse me?” Marie faltered.

“I’m happy that Lucy was sleeping when Howie—”

“He has no idea that you have a daughter,” Marie interrupted with a chiding tone. She sat down beside her eldest, staring in wonder. Usually, Nicola always bragged about Lucy to anyone who would listen. Although, despite the change in Nicola’s behavior, Marie could have seen this coming from a mile away. It was as if Marie could read Nicola’s mind at times.

“No, he doesn’t,” Nicola answered with hesitation.

“So, if he doesn’t know about Lucy, then he doesn’t know that you were married?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Or why you keep your job at Dr. Jacobs’ clinic, despite the talent you have to open up your clinic—”

“Momma! You know I don’t have the money to do something like that—”

“Yes, I know, but you’re also scared—”

“Momma, don’t—”

“Because you believe that—”

“Momma! Stop!”

“Trevor’s death is your fault,” Marie finished.

Nicola fell deathly silent, just staring at her mother. Unshed tears began to gather at the corners of her dark emerald eyes. She held her hand to her mouth, trying to keep the sobs from rattling. She had buried the unpleasant memories of her husband’s death so long ago. She always feared dredging up the past. She feared that she might never regain her composure if his name was spoken. Nicola wanted to run, but she felt so numb. She feared that her mother might chase her till she spoke. Her mother wanted Nicola to open and exposed the old festering wounds for the final time.

“Oh, Nic, you never got to properly grieve, because Lucy was born just after the funeral. I wanted so badly to believe that you would be okay. I wanted that so bad that I suppose I made myself believe you were okay. I was so wrong, Sweetheart. It’s been tearing you apart for five long years. I know you don’t want to, but you need to get the whole entire thing off your chest. You need to clear your mind if you’re thinking about starting another relationship. I can tell by that look in your eyes, Nicola. You care for Howie more than you let on. And, you can’t love him with all the baggage weighing at your heart. So, start from the beginning and act like I don’t know a thing. Just tell me the whole story…and whatever else comes to your mind. Sweetie, talk to me.”

“Momma, this is stupid.”

“Just start from the beginning.”

Tears streaked Nicola’s cheeks as her mother reached out to hug her. She understood that Marie was only trying to do the best for her. Nicola took a deep breath, deciding to give it a shot. If it would suppress the awful nightmares, she would try anything. “Momma, you know I was seventeen when I got pregnant. Just starting college, being seventeen, and pregnant… I was so scared, but Trevor said that it would be okay. That everything would be okay. He married me and kept his word. He was so terrific. He took care of everything so I could still stay in college for physical therapy. You helped out, too. Everyone helped. I thought it was absolutely perfect, you know? We were both going to college to get great jobs. We were so perfect, but God didn’t see it that way. Christmas, Momma, the accident was the day after Christmas. I had begged Trev to go to that damn party. Some days, I wished I never would have. That drunk driver came out of nowhere. I couldn’t even swerve to avoid the hit. We were hit head on. I can still hear the metal and glass crunching against us. I was so scared and it was so cold. Trev just held my hand, telling me that’d it be okay… That everything would be okay.

“You knew that things weren’t okay from the beginning, but I had to find out for myself. I remember looking at him in that hospital bed. Paralyzed from the waist down. I remember looking in his eyes and just knowing… Knowing that he wasn’t the same anymore. It was as if I had taken away his soul and fed it to the Devil. He looked at me and I knew he was jealous. I only had some stitches and bruises – nothing else. Everyone told me that God had spared me because of the baby, but Trev didn’t care. I couldn’t blame him either. I mean, yeah, his child was safe, but his legs were unusable. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault; that I wasn’t the one who caused the accident. But, every time I looked at Trev, I knew it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Marie tried to soothe.

“But it was, Momma. The accident maybe wasn’t my fault, but his death was. His doctor told him to go to physical therapy, because it would make him feel better. But he absolutely refused. Trevor didn’t want another person manipulating his broken body. He told me that I could take care of him and I thought I could. I mean, Hell, I was in college for physical therapy. So, I was arrogant in the decision. I thought I was doing well, but things went down hill so fast. He was so depressed and he yelled at every little thing I did. He became so mean and violent. I remember crying myself to sleep when I heard him crying. He refused to respond to the doctors. I was over my head and I kept telling myself that he would get better. Never saw it coming till I came home from class one night and found him dead in bed… Suicide… In his note, he blamed me for everything. Buried him in the ground in two days and had Lucy three days after…”

“And now how to you feel?”

“I know in my heart that it wasn’t my fault, that his suicide wasn’t my fault. However, there are other times where all I want to do is blame myself. Five years later and I still have that fight in my brain, Momma.”

“He was depressed, Sweetheart. It wasn’t your fault,” Marie reminded.

“But I let him quit therapy. I knew he needed it, but I shielded my judgment for my own vanity–”

“You weren’t vain. You were trying to help him in by consenting to his requests. It wasn’t your fault. He loved you very much. He always will love you,” Marie repeated, enveloping her daughter. “It happened over five years ago, Nic. It’s time to put it in the past with no strings attached. You can’t let Trevor make you feel dead inside. You deserve to live again. You should try to build your own clinic, no matter how scared you are of a patient dying while in your care. You should do what you dream to do. Trevor would want that. You deserve to love again, too. And, Lucy deserves a tangible Daddy.”

“I don’t think I can handle another paralyzed boyfriend. I’d have so many nightmares…” Nicola admitted honestly.

“Howie isn’t Trevor.”

“He has the same mood swings.”

“It doesn’t matter. Howie isn’t Trevor.”

“Momma—”

“That man that came over to give you two bouquets of roses and a beautiful necklace is like Trevor? I highly doubt it, Nicola. He’s a sweet and caring man. Every man is prone to having a mood swing and he has every right to be angry at the world for his condition. But, do you think he’s getting better? Do you see the light in his eyes that sparks every time you’re around? You’re the one reason that Howie is fighting to get better. I bet you’re the one reason he smiles every day. I can see it in his eyes. And I can see it in your eyes. You know he won’t turn out like to be like Trevor. Howie will end up being something better.”

“Even if that were the case, it’s not ethical to try a relationship with Howie. I’m his physical therapist and he’s my patient. I can’t blur the lines between business and pleasure.”

“Since when did you play by the rules of society when it came to love?”

“What are you saying?”

“Ethically, you and Trevor shouldn’t have been seen together. He was studying to be a teacher and came into your high school Anatomy and Physiology class to help the teacher. He and you shouldn’t have pursued a relationship, but you did, didn’t you? You didn’t care what society or ethics had to do with your heart. You never did. You’re just scared of having another relationship, so you allow the ethical barrier to block you.”

“You’re making my head hurt,” Nicola sighed, rubbing her temples.

“Do you have feelings for Howie, Nicola?”

“Yes…”

“Then tell him you resign as his physical therapist and slip him your number!”

“It’s not that easy!”

Marie sighed heavily and nodded. “I know it’s not, but I’m telling you that you deserve to be happy.”

“I know, Momma.”

“And, if you do want to try something with Howie, remember…” Marie signaled to the pendant in her hands. “He thinks that you’re his Moon Goddess shining down on him in the darkest hour of his life. In order to be his true Moon Goddess and make the relationship work, you have to let the moonshine uncover the darkness shrouding your life.”

Chapter 23 – Half a Man

Howie hummed happily as he got ready for bed. His mother’s food that evening had warmed his stomach, but Nicola had warmed his heart. He felt fulfilled as he locked his wheelchair and pulled himself into bed. With his improving physical therapy, much of his life had been restored to some kind of normalcy. He no longer depended on others for all his needs. He occasionally needed help, which was understandable. Thinking about therapy, Howie silently thanked Nicola for this miraculous freedom she had created. Howie’s mind traveled to the option of calling Nicola. However, his thoughts were cleared when his bedroom door slammed open. Howie felt his heart jump to his throat as Darcy entered the threshold.

“Baby! You scared me!” Howie exclaimed, chuckling uneasily.

“Don’t you even think of trying to pull that lovey-dovey shit on me!” Darcy hissed, not allowing any foolish chitchat. She crossed to stand in front of the large mahogany bed. She puffed out her chest in anger and crossed her arms beneath. Her dark curls were wild with obvious annoyance from pulling and tugging in anger. The color of her eyes took on rare colors of an impending storm. Howie shivered from the deadly glare, knowing he was in trouble. She towered over him and spoke with a voice as thick as steel. “Where the HELL were you today? I tried calling the house phone, your cell phone, even that damn pager that you never wear! What the Hell were you doing?”

Howie faltered, “Polly… Polly took me out.”

“Where?” Darcy snapped.

“Where, what?”

“Don’t try to avoid the answer!” Darcy growled. She reached up and tugged at her dark locks. It looked as if she were struggling to control her temper. Howie actually feared that she might physically lash out. She shot a glare down her long nose once more. “Cut the shit. Did you or did you not visit that trashy-diseased-poor-excuse-for-a-woman-therapist?”

“Darcy—”

“BULLSHIT! Don’t you dare tell me bullshit! I will not… No! You asshole! I saw AJ and Brian today at my photo shoot. Seems AJ’s new prostitute was my photographer and Brian had brought his new…God - whatever you want to call that bitch – to get some shots for her demo. Well, Jam-whatever and Rae-goon were chatting while I took a break. I overheard them saying you bought that trashy wench two-dozen roses and some piece of jewelry! AND, that you were obviously sweet on her! Sweet – what the Hell does sweet stand for? I mean, those women were absolutely insane…but that’s not the point! The point is that you’re sneaking around with some two-bit whore behind my back!”

“No, Darcy, I was just apologizing—”

“APOLOGIZING?” Darcy screeched ignorantly. “Is that your new term for fucking trailer trash that kill their husbands?”

“Excuse me?” Howie wheezed in surprise.

“You heard me!” Darcy hissed, tapping a long fingernail against her teeth. Her eyes boiled with a deep hatred as she stared at Howie. “I can’t believe you of all people would fuck something so low in the animal kingdom! That woman… God!”

“Darcy, you don’t know what you’re saying—”

“I don’t know what I’m saying? What kind of excuse is that? Do you actually find this funny or something? You think that you’re getting the better end of the deal? You think that you’re hurting me? You think that I’m in pain? Well, I hate to burst little crippled boy’s bubble – but it doesn’t hurt!” Darcy growled, standing directly beside Howie’s bed. She curled her hands into fists. Her long fingernails pressed into her flesh, causing indentations. “It doesn’t hurt at all, because in the end, I definitely got the better punishment for you.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you weren’t the first to ‘apologize’ in this relationship. Don’t be stupid, Howie. Everyone knew, because I didn’t try to hide it. They all tried to tell you, but you loved me so much. Guess something has changed in your heart, but nothing has changed in mine. Just rest assure, that while you were “working” your therapy to its full potential, I was fucking the brains out of my valet–”

“That’s not funny!” Howie growled.

“Then I ‘apologized’ to my agent, a new singer, model, salesman, manager, lawyer, and just recently I got quite a piece from a bad little doctor–”

“You slept…” Howie couldn’t even finish the words. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He knew his feelings had changed for Darcy, but it didn’t stop him from hurting. The truth was being shoved into his face at a rapid pace. He should have listened to his friends long ago, but he didn’t and now he felt physically ill.

“Idiot, I slept around because you weren’t satisfying me. I had to imagine different men every time you called me into your bed. You talked about love and romance and I wanted to vomit. I was only with you for the money and fame. I was going to kick your ass out the day of your accident, but then I realized what kind of attention you would receive. The media would hound you like there was no tomorrow. I liked that for a while and I have plenty of shows lined up for myself. But I can’t stand your pathetic ass any longer.”

“You’re…lying…” Howie choked.

“No, I’m not, Sweetheart. It was all an act. And now, you’re even more pathetic! I mean, really, trying to get action from a woman who’s paid to see you every week? Before the accident, I guess I saw potential in you. But now? Dearie, you’re just half a man. You couldn’t satisfy me before and you think that someone is going to stay with you now? Please! You mine as well stick to hookers who can at least put on a good show, because any woman that hopped into your bed now would die laughing. You can’t feel the pleasure that I woman might be able to give you – so why should you think that you could give a woman the ultimate ecstasy? Face it, you’re a dud, a little puppet, an outdated machine, a Ken without bendable legs,” Darcy laughed bitterly, not hiding the arrogant smirk upon her face.

“Shut up,” Howie whispered.

“I know that you probably will hurt from me leaving and you’ll call Little-Physical-Therapy-Whore to come put together the pieces, but don’t expect that to work out. She’ll get smart sooner or later. I mean, do you really think Nicola would want your sorry ass for love? If anything, she’d stay around long enough to get some cash and then move on. She may be a back-stabbing-wench, but I find it hard to believe that she’d be desperate enough to have sex with a numb-nut like you. Every time she sees you, all she can see is some loser that’s only half a man. So, Baby, buy yourself a blow up doll and call it even, because you’re wheelchair-bound-ass won’t ever get Nicola into bed.”

Howie watched Darcy smear on a fresh coat of lipstick, obviously finished with tormenting him. She blew him a nasty kiss and then sauntered out of the room without a care in the world. Howie sunk into his soft bed, saying nothing because Darcy had said it all. Her words sank like a heavy weight in his hollow stomach. Though she was hateful, her words still rang true. He realized his life might not ever contain love again. Darcy had thrown his worst fears into his face like an icy drink. Darcy had been his love, but she turned into a delusion of deceit. Should he even try to trust Nicola? Should he risk his heart again, knowing that another disaster might send him to the ends of humanity?

Howie felt bitter tears slide down his burning cheeks. Too many questions exploded inside his brain. His heart ached with a newly opened wound. He knew things would never be the same. He was different and Darcy had been a lie. He should have known better, but he didn’t. Howie felt his world crumbling, knowing that he truly was half a man.

*~*~*

“I think he’s absolutely gorgeous,” Hollie cooed toward Nicola, sitting down on the coach facing her. Lucy cuddled in her mother’s lap, sleeping peacefully. It was a little after eleven and Hollie decided to spend the night again. Hollie had promised Marie that she would take care of Nicola and Lucy like there was no tomorrow. Nicola had first protested, but Hollie quickly halted Nicola’s apprehensions. Hollie was an author and editor, which gave her the freedom to rework her schedule around Nicola. No matter how much Nicola fought, Hollie would continue to poke around because she honestly didn’t want to loose Nicola again. After Trevor’s funeral, Nicola had broken all ties with her friends to concentrate on Lucy, her family, and college. Hollie made a silent vow to never let Nicola run away from anything ever again.

“Decker,” Nicola sighed, using Hollie’s old nickname. Nicola had created the name ‘Decker’ after a rowdy Christmas party when the girls broke out into a loud chorus of ‘Deck the Halls.’ Ever since then, the name had stuck.

“What, Cola-Pop?” Hollie taunted.

Nicola studied her friend’s impishly shimmering eyes. Nicola knew when she was beaten. There was absolutely no way to veer Hollie off the subject of Howie. To Nicola, Hollie was almost as stubborn as Howie. Nicola bit down heavily on her bottom lip, deciding to just cave. It would save her the agony of Hollie’s annoying behavior. “He’s very handsome, Decker. Okay?”

Hollie squealed with delight, causing Danny to snort in his deep sleep on the opposite couch. Hollie slapped her hands over her mouth, unable to conceal the giggles. When Danny turned over onto his other side, Hollie unclamped her mouth. She slapped her hands against her bare legs. “I knew you were falling for him! The look in your eyes when you showed me that necklace—”

“But he’s not–”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence! His first trip away from his house was to see you! It wasn’t like a trip out with the guys or a trip to the mall. He came to see YOU. Do I make myself clear? He went out into public just to ask for forgiveness from YOU. That has to mean something! So, don’t bullshit me and tell me that he’s not interested!”

Nicola smiled for a moment as she ran her fingers through Lucy’s flaxen locks. She then glanced toward Hollie with skepticism. No matter how much Nicola wanted to believe Howie was interested, the main fact still branded her. “It’s not proper to date a client!”

“That shouldn’t matter! If you like him – go for him! You deserve to be happy. Plus, Lucy deserves a good Daddy. Danny can’t do everything for the little girl,” Hollie continued to encourage.

“I just got this lecture from Momma.”

“Well, great minds think alike.”

“But Howie—”

“Isn’t Trevor,” Hollie contradicted, knowing exactly what Nicola feared. Both women grew quite sullen for a moment. Hollie watched Nicola instinctively reach up to finger the precious pendant on her neck. Hollie offered a coy smile. “I bet that wasn’t in no twenty-five cent machine, Cola-Pop.”

Nicola rolled her eyes at Hollie’s qualifications for a good man, tempting Hollie offer a greedy smile. The phone rang as the girls’ giggles subsided. Nicola carefully leaned over her daughter and snatched the phone. She was immediately greeted by thick sobs. It didn’t take long for Nicola to recognize it was Howie. Nicola lurched forward, placing a hand against her heart. Hollie offered a questionable look, but Nicola could only focus on Howie’s voice. “Howie? Are you okay?”

“Nicola, oh God!” Howie wheezed loudly, biting down against another attack of sobs.

“Are you hurt?”

“N-Not physically.”

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s just awful, Nicola.”

“What’s awful?”

“C-C-Can you c-c-come over?”

“Of course, but–”

“She’s right – I’m half a man,” Howie choked before ending the phone call.

“He… He’s in trouble,” Nicola worried, quickly hanging up the phone. Carefully, she slipped her daughter off her lap. Lucy gave no fight as she curled up against the pillow Nicola had been leaning against. Nicola adjusted her sling, quickly running to her hallway. Hollie followed as Nicola snatched her keys off a small table, feeling a knot tighten in her stomach. Howie was in pain and it hurt her. “Hollie, you have to watch Lucy for me. I just… Please watch her for me!”

“Of course, is everything okay?”

“I… I don’t know exactly.”

“Just calm down, Cola-Pop.”

“I think that bitch did something to him.”

“That bitch?”

“Darcy!” Nicola snarled.

“Oh, get going then! Women can be quite nasty toward men,” Hollie grunted, pushing Nicola out the door. She knew that this might be the final break in the ice that would give Nicola happiness. Hollie prayed that Howie would be able to see through the pain and that Nicola would open her heart.

“Thanks, Decker!”

“See you tomorrow morning, Moon Goddess,” Hollie sung softly with a knowing smile, watching Nicola disappear into the soft moonlight.

Chapter 24 – Bittersweet Romance

Nicola had expected to see Howie’s entire family around his bedside consoling him when she arrived, but she was mistaken. Instead, she was greeted with a cold room and Howie’s agonized screams. He was so tormented that he never noticed Nicola, which gave Nicola time to accustom herself to the new situation. Although, nothing could be harder because Nicola felt her heart sink to her stomach as she crept into the dark room. Howie’s pitiful sobs tore through Nicola’s tough exterior like a sharp knife. For once in her life, Nicola was utterly clueless as she looked upon his broken appearance. Howie was slumped over his bed as hot sobs exploded from the pit of his stomach. Nicola couldn’t see his face because it was hidden within his hands. Nicola assumed that Darcy was quite rough with Howie during the past hours, giving him a rude awakening into his new life.

Nicola decided to take a physical approach to make Howie aware of her appearance. Gently, she laid her good hand on his right shoulder. Howie jerked backward in surprise and immediately glanced upward. When their eyes connected, Howie seemed to crumple beneath the small amount of pressure from Nicola’s hand. He looked worst than when Nicola had first came upon him in the exercise room. His current facial expression of hopelessness and grief would haunt Nicola for days as his beautiful brown eyes watered with salty tears. Nicola winced, sitting down beside him on the bed. When Nicola was seated, she fell into her natural response to depression in her patients. Since tactile communication through hugs, back rubs, pats, and other means of physical encouragement were expected in her line of work – she felt no shame in reaching out and gently rubbing his bare back in a soft circular motion.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nicola asked after several long moments of silence.

“She left me,” Howie choked quietly as he leaned forward. Her actual leaving hadn’t caused as much grief as her pungent words. Howie took a ragged breath, focusing more on the soft strokes from Nicola’s gentle hands.

“I’m sorry,” Nicola answered, watching Howie intensely study his hands.

“I’m not upset that she left…” Howie trailed. He found his sobs slowly subsiding with Nicola’s smooth honey voice. He glanced about the room, focusing upon a picture of Darcy and himself on the beach. Howie offered a look of pure disgust. He scolded himself for not seeing it sooner. He should have seen it coming. Too many times had he caught her being unfaithful, yet he let his so-called love blind his sight to truth.

“Why aren’t you upset with her leaving?” Nicola asked with confusion.

“I… I realized that I didn’t love her as much as I used to. I just didn’t want to admit it, because I needed something from my old life to cling to... I was just denying everything until now. So, I’m not mad that she left… I’m just… God, I’m an asshole… I can’t believe I care about what she told me!” Howie groaned, hanging his head in defeat. He felt like a fool crying in front of Nicola.

“What did she tell you?” Nicola persisted, knowing he needed to vent.

Howie slowly swallowed his pride, staring into Nicola’s icy emerald eyes. “Nic, point blank, she accused me of cheating on her. Never, and I mean never, would I do something so…disrespectful. Even if I hated our relationship, I would never stoop to that level. Then, when I deny it, she turns the table. Without any remorse, she tells me that she cheated several times. She said she enjoyed it and that I wasn’t worth… Damnit! She had tons of…encounters while she was with me. Just thinking about it makes me sick. I mean, how could I have been so blind?”

“Howie, I’m so sorry that this happened,” Nicola empathized, continuing to rub his back soothingly. “It’s not your fault, though. Love, in all aspects, is blinding. That’s all that love could possibly be because humans are all too imperfect. You didn’t see Darcy’s flaws because your love shielded her. So, don’t blame yourself.”

“I was an idiot,” Howie groaned without acceptance.

“No, Darcy was the idiot. Howie, you’re a great guy. Any woman that saw the true you wouldn’t run to others to fill some inexplicable emptiness. You have this bright exuberance in you that make women drunk with love. You create this aura that make women believe that there’s no limits on love. That anything can be accomplished as long as you’re there. There’s also this deep fire in your soul that stirs in your beautiful eyes. That very fire drawls everyone to you like an angel to the bright light. You’re perfect and no sincere woman would ever let you go without a deathly fight,” Nicola whispered truthfully, causing Howie’s eyes to widen in utter surprise. Nicola gave a knowing smile. “Howie, that day you heard me snap at Darcy… I was just angry. I hated that Darcy had you…because she never did deserve to have a man like you. And, at that moment, I just needed her to get away from me before I let ugly words slip.”

Howie found a faint smile forming upon his heated face. “You are so amazing.”

“Why, thank you,” Nicola declared with a laugh.

Howie was shocked that he had actually uttered those words, but he didn’t feel relief. He was silent as Nicola wrapped him in a loving embrace. Usually, with her touch, Howie’s heart would race with anticipation. Yet, now he could feel no pleasure. Darcy had poisoned his mind with delirious babble. Howie found his eyes watering as he flinched at Nicola’s touch, causing her to pull back with confusion. Howie immediately broke the intense gaze between them. If she ever had feelings for him – he didn’t deserve them. He could only remind himself that in the end, he wouldn’t please her. She would never receive the loving treatment that she deserved from him, because he was lacking. He was only half a man.

“What’s wrong?” Nicola pursued, reading the fear and sadness expressed in his bewildered eyes. She knew he was struggling with a debate inside him mind and rested assured that Darcy had caused the torment. Nicola could feel the damage of Darcy’s hatred within the depths of her very core.

“Don’t hug me,” Howie mumbled.

“Why? I like to hug you.”

“I don’t deserve your hugs.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m only half a man and I don’t deserve your affection.”

Nicola fell silent for a moment. She knew those very words belonged to Darcy. Nicola silently wished pain upon the woman for every hurtful word spouted from her lips. Nicola knew that Darcy had made sure that if she couldn’t keep Howie, then no one else would be allowed to care for him either. Nicola felt her mouth dry at the woman’s nasty tricks. She struggled to find the right words, knowing that she needed Howie to open up more to the source of the problem. “What do you mean that you’re only half a man?”

“Nicola, don’t make me spell it out.”

“Please, for me.”

“Darcy started sleeping around before the accident. She said that she did that because I wasn’t fulfilling her needs like I was supposed to. I wasn’t enough of a man for her – so she skipped around to taste the varieties. And, if I couldn’t keep a woman happy before my accident, why the Hell should I expect to keep a woman happy after my accident. My lower body is broke, which means that I’m physically incapable of loving a woman. Why should I believe that a woman would want to love me without receiving the same pleasure from me? I can’t do that and no woman would want that! So, I was too idealistic in thinking that something might spark between us. I’m never going to love again, because I’m only half a man!”

“Howie, you’re insane,” Nicola blurted with disgust.

“No, not insane, just broken.”

“Howie, you’re not half a man. Nor are you broken! You can love a woman both physically and mentally. You have a heart and soul. You have more heart and soul than over half of the male population bunched together. And, physically, your injuries are below the pelvis. So, you should have a copious amount of sensations during sexual encounters. You just have to get creative with lovemaking. Plus, not all love is done in the bedroom. Don’t be so foolish and don’t let Darcy’s bitchy behavior ruin your outlook on life. You should be confident, because you’re something that every woman is looking for.”

As Nicola’s words sank into Howie’s heart, he became dangerously aware of Nicola’s presence beside him. She sat only a few inches away from him. Her fresh scent of roses wafted into the air, intoxicating Howie’s mind. Her alluring emerald eyes glittered as the golden flecks danced against her pupils, hinting to the depth of her kindness. Her soft pink lips seemed to plead for a kiss. Howie felt his hands grow sweaty with a mere glance. He gulped hard on the lump growing in his throat. “How do you know that I can love?”

“Because I can show you.”

Without hesitation, Nicola leaned forward and boldly pressed her lips against his. Howie give the slightest resistance as he allowed her to quickly deepen the kiss without fear. Although, it was as if all their pent emotions were released with each of the tender kisses, Nicola conned her mind into thinking this encounter would better Howie’s healing. Nicola’s mind wanted to prove to Howie that he could physically love a woman. She wouldn’t allow Howie to throw the best part of life away with a foolish intention seeded by Darcy. He deserved so much more.

Nicola found herself pushing Howie back onto the bed. Their kisses now only broke long enough to capture a quick breath of air before reconnecting. She felt herself shed her jean jacket as if it were a second skin, not caring as she tossed it toward the floor. Somehow, Nicola even forgot the cast plastered against her arm as she braced herself above Howie’s heated body. She offered a sleek smile as she bent down again to connect with him. Howie never resisted as he tangled his hands in her soft curls, allowing her to do the work. Their brains disconnected from their hearts as their bodies were engulfed within the heat of passion, knowing that tonight they would take a step forward.

It felt utterly surreal to Nicola as each layer of clothing against their bodies was quickly thrown to the floor. She bent down, bracing herself against her plastered arm, and started kissing Howie’s throat. Her brain screamed to halt the foolish act that would ruin her career, but her heart urged her forward. It felt so good and it had been so long since Nicola’s heart had won in the affairs of love. So, Nicola allowed herself one chance to fall into enamored thoughts, promising that tomorrow she would return to her rationale state.

Chapter 25 – Imprudent Intentions

Nicola yawned softly with unawareness as the bright rays of the morning sunshine warmed her creamy face. She smiled sleepily, turning into a warm mass for cuddling. She found herself drifting back to sleep until she heard the sound of a heartbeat. Nicola yelped softly, jerking herself upward in fright. Her eyes fell upon Howie’s slumbering figure. He looked peaceful, curled amongst the soft pillows. Never would one guess that he was filled with such turmoil when glancing upon his sleeping form. His face was warmly flushed, allowing Nicola to remember the lovemaking. She had never felt such an intense passion before. Her whole body burned with wanting when she remembered his mouth caressing her skin with delicate kisses. Each touch last night assured her that he was most definitely her match. Sadly, Nicola knew that she was in love.

“Oh…no!” Nicola wheezed when she realized what her heart was expressing. She loved him and she knew there was no turning back. Intense emotions of love engulfed her body, weakening her strength. She bowed her head, praying for support. She needed to break away.

Quickly, as if a conjured miracle for her sake, she shattered the thoughts of passion She refused to hesitate when she pushed herself out of the bed, watching Howie turn and snuggle against the pillow she had used. Her brain slowly began to reestablish control of her thoughts. Her brain jolted her heart, making her realize the truth behind the flimsy fantasies. She began to feel shame for the previous thoughts of love. She wasn’t allowed to develop feelings for a patient. She reminded herself it was unethical and immoral. Nothing more could happen between her and Howie – for both their sakes.

Hurriedly, Nicola gathered her clothing off the floor. She refused to gaze at Howie, knowing that she might become weak again. She tugged her clothing on in a fevered pace, anxious to get away from the deceit. Nicola reached out for a piece of paper on Howie’s desk, but hesitated in reaching for a pen. What if he awoke in the midst of her writing? She didn’t have the time or the brawny nerves to attempt such a risky adventure. She dropped the pen and paper, hurrying toward the door. Her heart throbbed with guilt over leaving so abruptly without goodbyes, but her brain assured her it was for the best. And hopefully, when Howie awoke, he would believe it had been nothing more than a dream.

*~*~*

“Thank God you all came to your sense before all Hell broke loose with Devil-Darcy!” Pollyanna exclaimed gratefully, pulling the group into Howie’s large living room. AJ shifted his gaze toward Kevin with confusion. Nick just shrugged his shoulders, yawning lazily. Pollyanna had begged AJ, Brian, Nick, and Kevin to meet her at Howie’s house early in the morning. She had also requested that Raegan and Jamila come, because Howie absolutely adored both girls. The boys were completely clueless as they each picked their favorite spot in the room. Nervously, Pollyanna tapped on her knees as they all gathered in comfortable positions.

“What the Hell broke loose?” AJ asked with amusement, liking Darcy’s new nickname from Pollyanna. Although, his smirk was quickly wiped away when Pollyanna glared. It was obvious that Pollyanna was on the verge of hysteria and no one else knew why.

“Darcy somehow found out Howie went to Nicola’s house—”

“Uh-oh,” Raegan interrupted with a groan.

“Uh-oh?” Brian questioned in surprise.

“Double uh-oh,” Jamila agreed.

“What do you mean, Baby?” AJ asked.

“We… Bri-Bear and I went to visit Jamila at one of her shoots with AJ. Bri-Bear wanted me to get some professional shots for whatever. Well, she was with this girl while I was talking to her. And… Somehow Howie came into the conversation. We mentioned how sweet it was about Howie and his physical therapist, and then the boys come up and introduce us to the woman who was before me… Basically, we met Darcy on some idiotic terms,” Raegan explained softly. She bowed her head with disapproval, not wanting to think that she caused Howie’s heartache.

“We’re really sorry. We unfortunately had no idea!” Jamila interjected.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Pollyanna answered, waving her hand to dismiss the entire idea. If anything, it was for the better. Pollyanna knew that Howie would rationalize the dismissal and look at it in the best perspective. She wouldn’t blame Raegan and Jamila for what would have happened eventually.

“Excuse me?” Raegan choked in surprise.

“It’s for the best,” Pollyanna explained.

“How so?” Jamila pondered.

“Well, when Darcy found out about Howie going to Nicola’s home – she basically freaked. She bluntly kicked Howie to the curb after admitting she cheated on him throughout the entire relationship. So, Howie called me last night. He was so upset. She really did a number on him. But, in the middle of the conversation, he said he wanted to call Nicola. Point blank, the boy hung up on me. Something told me that with him talking to Nicola…he wouldn’t need us till morning. So, I wanted you guys to come over just in case he doesn’t want to talk to me about the issues. Although, I’m quite positive Nicola might have smoothed the roughest edges,” Pollyanna explained, unable to hide her smile.

Raegan was the first to recognize Pollyanna’s giddy nature. She leaned her lithe figure back against Brian for support, sighing contently when he wrapped his arms around her waist. Raegan’s solid teal eyes studied the older woman very carefully. She understood that Pollyanna wasn’t upset that Darcy left. Somehow, Raegan mistook the smile for something callous. Raegan’s usually sunny face grew to a dark and gloomy frown. Brian was the first to see the transformation in features. He kissed Raegan’s shoulder, “What’s the matter, Sweetie?”

“How can you be so happy about Darcy breaking Howie’s heart?” Raegan chided softly.

“Because it means that Darcy’s gone – THANK GOD!” AJ blurted without thought, causing the guys to chuckle in amusement. They had always been so open about their feelings for Darcy. However, Jamila and Raegan were all but impressed. Without hesitation, Jamila smacked AJ sharply. AJ lurched forward in surprise, almost dropping her on the floor as he gripped his shoulder. He winced at the stinging sensation. “Damn, Baby! What was that for?!”

“How can you joke about Howie’s love like that?” Jamila screeched with disgust.

“Baby! It’s not what it seems!”

“Then you better clarify fast!”

“Baby—”

“Starting whipping out the Windex, Alex!”

“How can I put this… Baby, Darcy is—”

“One of the biggest bitches created by Satan to chew off our limbs, bleed us dry, and torture our souls in fiery Hells for eternity,” Nicola answered quickly, unable to let AJ finish clarifying. Everyone was silent for a few moments, pondering the words that had actually flown from his mouth. The guys couldn’t believe that Nick knew so many diversified words. Yet, Jamila and Raegan were overly appalled by the venomous words. The girls finally squeaked out gasps of horror, causing the others to burst into fits of laughter.

AJ grinned wildly. “Nick! We could use that in a song!” he exclaimed, noticing Jamila’s foul glare. Reading her obvious signals, AJ jumped back before she could strike again. He smacked his hand sharply, scolding himself in a womanly voice. “I know, I know! Bad Alex! Bad!”

“Alex!” Jamila scolded.

“Don’t send me to time out, Jammy,” AJ whined softly, staring at her pleadingly.

“You’re cute, Mr. McLean, but not that cute,” Jamila chided, caving into AJ’s zaniness. She brushed a kiss against his lips before he pulled her back onto the couch. The guys rolled their eyes as the couple acted as if nothing happened.

“So, that’s it? You think she’s a mean person so you just kick her out without a chance? I mean, she might be overbearing, but why not give her a second chance?” Raegan asked once the waters were calmed between the other couple. She was not as easily swayed as Jamila. She wanted a true answer.

“Rae, what was your first impression of Darcy?” Brian questioned, wanting to get the point across. Raegan had a heart of gold, which caused her to easily forgive of others’ heartless mistakes. Yet, even if Raegan’s heart did lead the race, her brain allowed a smart judge of character. She had such a keen way of connecting with people on a different level that absolutely fascinated Brian.

Raegan chewed on her bottom lip as she traced her fingers against Brian’s hand in thought. Her mind quickly shelved each memorable moment of Darcy and assorted them into categories. At the end, she found herself frowning. “She seemed self-centered as she ordered Jamila around the studio. She wasn’t warm or friendly when she found out that I was dating you. She was just cold the entire time. Didn’t smile once. Absolutely nothing like Howie. He was so warm the day he met us, even in his worst time of need.”

“Exactly!” Kevin exclaimed, knowing that the pieces of the puzzle were finally settling into a clear picture. The guys had tried to explain Darcy on so many levels to the girls, but they couldn’t comprehend. It was as if the boys were pulling teeth to be understood.

“She really is a wench,” Nick enthused.

“Completely opposite of Howie,” AJ repeated.

“But Nicola is like him,” Pollyanna murmured.

“His physical therapist?” Nick asked in surprise.

“Yes, his physical therapist,” Pollyanna answered with a funny smile.

“Oh! Now I see! I should have caught onto that! You’re glad that Darcy’s gone, because now Nicola has a chance with Howie!” Jamila laughed, finally understanding. Her dark eyes twinkled with glee as she solved the puzzle. AJ resisted the urge to call his girlfriend ditzy, knowing that her hand was quite quick with backlashes.

“Am I that transparent?”

“Yes!” everyone called loudly.

“What makes you think he’s even interested in her?” Kevin pondered curiously.

“You can see it in his eyes every time she arrives for physical therapy. If it hadn’t been for their heads butting with stubborn streaks or Darcy’s interference, they would be together. She’s perfect for him. They’re absolutely perfect for one another. You should see them together, they just have such a connection. She’s funny, compassionate, truthful, loving—”

“Fiery!” AJ recalled, interrupting Pollyanna’s list. Pollyanna offered him a confused look, causing the other boys to smile sheepishly. “That day at the mall when we met her, Polly, that woman was like a tiger defending her pack! I honestly believed she would kick all our asses while still holding her shopping bags. Just staring at her made me feel guilty about what happened with Howie. Those dark green eyes of hers had a way of reflecting everything that Howie felt. Then when she spoke. It was as if we had hurt her, too. She just had a way of capturing us and holding our attention! It was amazing to say the least.”

“That’s exactly how she is here. Mom loves her, too. Thinks that she the absolutely sweetest thing since the cinnamon bun,” Pollyanna confided with excitement.

“She’s pretty, too,” Nick confessed shyly with a knowing smile.

“She cared more about Howie in a few months that Darcy had cared in years,” Brian admitted thoughtfully.

“You guys sound like you’re in love and you don’t even know her!” Jamila scolded lightly, unable to hide her own smile. She found it quite sweet that the group was willing to invite her in so suddenly. They all wanted what was best for Howie. And it seemed as if all signs were pointing toward Nicola.

“She’d be a nice addition to the family, nonetheless,” Kevin finally announced after listening to the others. He smiled at Pollyanna. He was relieved that Darcy was gone. He knew that Howie had been hurt, but it would be better in the long run. For, Kevin had seen the same glitter in Howie’s eyes when he spoke of Nicola. Something was definitely lying inside his heart, waiting to be released upon Nicola’s command.

“I just hope Howie takes the plunge and tells her,” Pollyanna sighed.

“We don’t call him the Latin Lover and Sweet D for nothing, Poll,” Brian teased.

“Brian! Too much information! Lord, that was too much!” Pollyanna moaned, covering her ears.

“Do you think she came over last night?” Nick asked, completely throwing the conversation in a new direction. Everyone stopped talking at once, immediately focusing on Nick. They seemed to ponder the question, none knowing the answer. The silence was deafening as each one exchanged a curious look with another. No one knew what to expect, because Howie had been so unpredictable lately.

“Do you think he would be that slick?” AJ asked with a laugh.

No one said anything as the answer was revealed with the slamming of a door. Everyone jumped in surprise at the sudden burst of noise. They turned quickly to see Nicola rushing forward. She didn’t seem to notice them as she pulled her strawberry blonde curls into a ponytail. She spoke softly to herself as she shoved something deep inside her pocket, not bothering to look about the room. She looked highly flustered as she ran out of the house in deep thought. Everyone grew silent again as a cool breeze filtered about them.

“That dog,” AJ murmured with laughter, breaking the silence.

“You don’t think they…” Brian couldn’t even finish his words.

“Sex, man, that was a definite sex face!” AJ announced proudly.

“What the Hell are you talking about?” Kevin asked.

“Can’t you read between the lines?” AJ asked.

“Alex!” Jamila scolded. “You know nothing.”

“But I will!” AJ declared, hurrying back to the bedroom.

“He’s such a trouble-maker!” Jamila huffed.

“You didn’t expect this from him?” Raegan asked curiously.

“No, never!” Brian whistled.

“Wow, I mean, Rae, this is D we’re talking about. I never thought he’d be so…James Bond-ish,” Nick murmured.

“The man’s got definite style,” Kevin laughed.

“I still can’t believe…” Pollyanna trailed.

“Well, you saw her walking to the door,” Brian assured.

“That’s about all the proof you need!” Kevin agreed.

“Nicola - live and in color,” Nick announced.

“And Nick’s right - she’s pretty,” Raegan interjected.

Chapter 26 – Crazy With Love

Howie slowly opened his eyes only to be greeted with a pair of mischievous dark eyes staring down upon him. Howie yelped and jerked in surprise, almost tumbling out of his bed. The eyes were not the loving emerald eyes he had drown in the previous night. Howie heart thumped heavily against his ribcage from the startling discovery. He reached his hand over to feel a cold spot where Nicola had once dozed. Howie sighed, settling back on his pillow. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, going over the night’s events. Everything had seemed so surreal as he kissed her sweetly tender skin. Did he dream the lovemaking?

“She left in a hurry,” AJ declared, grabbing Howie’s attention. AJ plopped down in Howie’s wheelchair without a worry in the world. He ran his fingers along the leather cushion and then down the large wheels. He decided to make up a quick excuse so Howie wouldn’t worry about her disappearance. “She told to tell you not to worry, because she had a great time and she’ll see you on Monday.”

“She was really here then?” Howie burst with happiness.

AJ let loose a wild laugh. “Did you really think that your imagination is that creative in recreating a night of amazing sex?”

“At first, yes… Wait! How did you know?”

“Dude, c’mon, you’re talking to me! Plus, we see Nicola come out of your room early in the morning on a Saturday looking quite flustered… But you don’t have PT on Saturday. So, it was a lucky guess?”

“Oh yes, a lucky guess, smart-ass. Is the whole crew out there?”

“Of course. And, they’re all eager to play a hundred questions with you. So, I figured I’d get the special details before everyone else swooped upon you. Since, I am the best friend and I deserve all the best details that you’ll shy away from with girls in the room,” AJ exclaimed with a proud smile.

“What exactly do you want to know?”

“Damn, D, I want the nitty gritty details! Like, did she plan it? Or, wait, did you plan it? That’d be even sweeter! Was being traumatized by Darcy just a plan to get Nicola over here? Because, damn, if it was, I need to steal that line!” AJ asked in one drawn breath.

“Keep your shorts on, J, it wasn’t a set plan. Darcy really tore my heart to pieces. Then, she ruined it more by saying that even if I wanted Nicola that I never stood a chance because I’m crippled. She told me I was half a man. During that entire fiasco, I could only think of Nicola. I called her and she rushed right over to help me. She told me she could prove that I was all man… God, J, it felt so right last night. I didn’t have a care in the world.”

“So it was a great night?”

“An awesome night.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Nicola, yes.”

“What about Darcy?”

“No, not really,” Howie answered with an absurd laugh.

“Then you do love Nicola?”

Howie chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully, consulting his feelings carefully. It wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Love was serious and committing. He wouldn’t speak too hastily. Finally, he formed the right words inside his brain. “It felt so right between us last night. It was like we had been together all our lives. A simple kiss from her drove me to the brink of insanity. I feel so inspired around her, like nothing can ever go wrong in her arms. I don’t even think of myself as being broken when she’s around. I just want to make myself better so she’ll love me. God, her kisses, too. J, she’s amazing. Absolutely amazing. Just like honey - too sweet to say no.”

“So you’re saying you love her?” AJ repeated, just wanting a straightforward answer.

“Yes, if you must know,” Howie commented dryly. And as if on cue, Howie’s bedroom burst open. Howie jumped in surprise as the rest of the group stumbled through the doorway, trying not to fall over one another. They offered a nervous laughter as Howie rolled his eyes. He gave them a good-natured smile, knowing that the group would never change.

“We’re really sorry about Darcy,” Brian and Nick fumbled together.

“I’m not,” Pollyanna answered, sitting down on the side of the bed. Jamila and Raegan offered nervous glances. Howie smiled and waved for them to join. The girls shrieked with laughter, hurriedly jumping on the bed. They each delivered several friendly kisses to Howie’s cheeks.

“It’s so cute that you love her!” Raegan cooed, plopping down beside Howie. She offered a merry smile, her essence radiating about the room. Brian chuckled as he stood behind her protectively. Raegan’s bright indigo eyes burned with happiness. Howie was convinced that Raegan ultimately shared Brian’s optimistic cheeriness. “It’s like right out of romance novel! We should write this story down and make some money!”

“Thanks, Rae. I’ll think about it,” Howie laughed.

“Do you think she feels the same?” Jamila questioned, sliding into AJ’s lap on the wheelchair.

“I have no idea,” Howie faltered, offering an uneasy glance.

“I think she does,” Pollyanna interjected. She didn’t want Howie to get down on himself. His confidence was so fragile since the accident. If the worry increased too dramatically, Howie could possibly shatter his courage. “You can see it when you glance at her, Howie.”

“Do you really think so?” Howie asked with excitement.

“I know it,” Pollyanna assured.

“So, will you tell her how you feel?” Jamila pondered curiously.

“I’d like to, but I’m just not sure I have…”

“You can be smooth about it,” Raegan interjected. “Invite your family and her for dinner so she thinks it’s a thank you kind of thing. Then, have them leave you alone for a minute, and express how you feel. It’ll be really sweet.”

“You’ve read one too many romance novels, Rae,” Nick snorted, ruffling her locks.

“No, that’s actually a good idea,” Pollyanna interjected.

“Yeah, Nicky, I’m not a dumb blonde!” Raegan teased, rolling her eyes toward him.

“You really think it’d work?” Howie questioned.

“Of course.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to be with me like that? What if it was just a one time thing?” Howie pondered with worry. The idea that Nicola only wanted one night of sex made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to be hurt again. The same idea of putting his heart on the line scared him to death. “What if I make a fool of myself? Then it’ll be in front of the whole family!”

“You never know till you try!” Raegan encouraged.

“Another line out of the quotable quotes of cotton-candy lane,” Nick murmured.

“Nicky, bite me,” Raegan sang.

Howie rolled his eyes at the two continuing to banter. It seemed as if the girls fit right in. It was also funny knowing how he could imagine Nicola merging with the group beautifully. He gave Pollyanna an unsure look. “I’ll just think about what to do and make the decision before Monday. Okay?”

“Of course, Howie, but you have to know that she cares for you. You can see it in her eyes; I know you can. She’s just hiding her love for you,” Pollyanna encouraged.

“Not after last night,” AJ snickered, causing Howie to blush.

“You really did?” Brian asked with astonishment.

“Like you said, Bri, we don’t call him Sweet D or the Latin Lover for nothing!” AJ announced wildly while wiggling his eyebrows, causing the boys to burst into laughter.

*~*~*

“I have to be loosing my mind!” Nicola exasperated for what seemed like the hundredth time. She leaned her head against the cool tiles of her shower stall, praying for clear thinking. The icy sheets of water splashed against her nude back like a rushing waterfall, but only the sound calmed her. It didn’t matter though, because no matter how cold the water was, Nicola couldn’t shake off the lustfully hot memories of the previous night. The mere memory of Howie’s image caused her body temperature to soar above normal heights. He had some kind of spell upon her. And as much as Nicola hated to admit it – she didn’t want the feelings to disappear.

“Lucy’s still asleep. I had her up late drinking liquor and playing video games,” Hollie called, breaking into Nicola’s thoughts. She entered the bathroom, thinking nothing of it. She perched herself on the bathroom counter, positioning herself to admire her reflection. Hollie ran her fingers through her dark blonde locks, waiting for Nicola’s smart response. When Nicola gave no retort, Hollie loudly tapped on the side of the shower stall. “Did you just get home, Ms. Tilley?”

“Yes…” Nicola faltered.

“Well, let me play detective! Judging by your neat pile of dirty clothing folded on the toilet and stacked by size, no response to corrupting your child, change in your voice, and VERY icy shower that could probably make a sheet of ice over Florida’s ocean on a peak hot day… I’d deduce that you had sex with Howie last night.”

Nicola groaned loudly with defeat. “Am I that obvious, Decker?”

“Unfortunately, Cola-Pop, you are.”

“Do you think Momma will know?”

“I think you’ll be in the clear if you don’t eat your traditional-post-great-sex-double-decked-killer-brownie-topped-with-death-by-chocolate-ice-cream-hot-fudge-and-three-cherries.”

“I made one when I got home…but God, another one sounds so good!” Nicola wheezed guiltily. She slumped against the side of the stall, quickly turning off the water. It was obvious that the icy water would do no good that day.

“WOAH! You want to of those artery-killers?! This guy must have been above-the-stars-headed-for-Heaven-FANTASTIC!” Hollie whistled with excitement. She always craved the juicy romance of her best friend’s life. It was a basic Hollie instinct to pry until she inhaled every single detail. Nicola was safe nowhere until each piece of information was shared.

"That’s the problem, Decker. He’s completely worth every calorie!” Nicola sighed with defeat, snatching the towel hanging on her stall. Within a few moments, she stepped out of the stall with her lithe body wrapped tightly in her purple towel. Her soaking wet curls crinkled about her shoulders, dampening her towel. Her usual light emerald eyes were colored dark as jade. Hollie knew that Nicola was utterly troubled by the entire situation.

“You love him, don’t you?” Hollie burst with exhilaration.

“I think I do, but it’s all wrong! He was so broken last night. That bitch of a woman completely shattered whatever hopes he had left about his life. I wanted to make him feel better, but I didn’t know how. Then this impulse zipped through my body and I kissed him. It felt so right. As if we were made for each other when God crafted us from the very beginning. But, just like it feels so right, it also feels entirely wrong! My heart may have won the battle last night, but he’s my patient. I would be ruined in this town if the word got out. God, I don’t even want to think about how it might hurt him. But, then, I remember his touches and I go weak. He knew exactly how to make me melt, Decker, but it was so wrong.”

“You’re really worried about this, huh?”

“Yes, I feel sick just thinking about it.”

“But you love him?”

“I think—”

“Cola-Pop, you just had sex with this man. There’s no way you can just think about loving him. It’s simple as yes or no. You knew the answer the second you kissed him last night. Don’t be so blind and don’t act so na�ve. I’m better at it. So, do you love him or not?” Hollie bluntly asked, accepting no roundabout answer. She wanted to help her friend. It had been so long since Nicola had been truly happy. And if Howie made her happy, then Nicola deserved Howie.

Nicola groaned again. “Yes, I love him.”

“Then stop letting your brain make the decisions. Just concentrate on how he makes you feel inside and let your heart lead, Nic. You deserve to be happy.”

Nicola stared at her friend intensely with wonder. She wanted to believe with all her heart that Hollie was right, but her brain refused. No matter how she looked at the situation, she just couldn’t accept that it was the right thing for both Howie and her. Nicola sighed with defeat, making her ultimate decision. “No, I can’t. When PT comes on Monday, I’m telling him that I’m his physical therapst and nothing more.”

Chapter 27 – Unable

Nicola felt her body numb over like blocks of thick ice as she opened the door to Howie’s luscious home. She felt odd walking into Howie’s living room, knowing she was about to attempt the impossible. She didn’t know many girls that would turn down a chance at love with a rich man, but Nicola didn’t care. So, she quietly went over everything she had written on a napkin in her car. She had planned every single word of her speech as if she were delivering a speech. Yet, all the words seemed to jumble inside her brain and become misplaced when Howie came into view. There Howie sat with dozens of crumpled papers strewn about his desk in no particular fashion. He never noticed Nicola appear, so she took the chance to study him.

In her emerald eyes, he looked absolutely irresistible. No flaws seemed to appear in his demeanor when Nicola admired him. He just held an essence of perfection that Nicola had fought so hard to attain during life. Everything about him seemed to make Nicola weak. His short curls lying gently against his wrinkled brow begged for Nicola to run her fingers against them. His dark chocolate eyes sparked with intensity while studying a small piece of paper, reminding Nicola of his smoldering glare while making love. And his body looked toned and sleek beneath his fitted, blue, sleeveless shirt and blasted jeans. Nicola felt her heart flutter as she tried to gather herself.

“H-Howie?” Nicola called meekly, struggling to keep her emotions at bay.

“SHIT!” Howie groaned, oblivious to Nicola’s enterance. He cursed again as he crumpled the paper and chucked it behind him. The paper ball hit the floor and bounced toward Nicola’s feet.

“What’s wrong, Howie?” Nicola asked, picking up the balled paper. He seemed overly surprised to see her, but Nicola didn’t address it. She merely sat down by Howie at the desk and handed the crumpled ball back to him. She seemed to forget all about her mission as she studied Howie’s tense features. She could tell that something was definitely plaguing him. She offered him a kind smile to break through the icy tension before them. Each of them could recall the night of passion, yet neither spoke out. Instead, they concentrated on another issue.

“I can’t finish this chorus for the life of me. I’ve been spending hours staring at that damn piece of paper, but nothing comes! I swear, I’m broken from my feet to my brain!” Howie declared vehemently. He gave an indignant scowl to all the balled papers scattered around his desk.

“Don’t give me that, Howie! You’re not broken from head to toe. Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean that you still can’t write powerful songs or sing beautifully. Just give it another try. Stop being so negative and open up to what your heart’s telling you,” Nicola enthused, smoothing the paper onto the desk. She quickly glanced at what was already written:

I want to keep you by my side always.
But not because of your dawn-breaking smile,
Or your sweet kisses of noon,
Or your midnight passions.
For they only add to your beauty.
I want you because,
You know the depths of my soul.

“It’s stupid,” Howie scorned after a few moments of silence.

“No, it’s not!” Nicola scolded, pushing gently on Howie’s shoulder. She studied the lyrics, cocking her head to the side. She bit down on her bottom lip, concentrating intently on each piece. “You say that you want her by your side always, so obviously she completes you some how. So why don’t you talk about how she completes you? Like you’re a broken puzzle away from her and only her being near keeps you together. Or something like that?”

It took only a few seconds for Howie’s eyes to light like Nicola had set several fireworks ablaze before him. He clapped with excitement, kissed her cheek, and grabbed a pen beside him. He began to scribble furiously on a piece of paper as his muse sat silently beside him. After a few minutes of writing, he began to sing the melody softly. His tender voice seemed to bring the entire song to life, making Nicola ache with wanting. When he finished, he glanced over to Nicola with a smile of approval. “Thank you so much. I definitely like it now.”

“Don’t thank me. You have an amazing voice and a soul that’s made for writing beautiful songs. I’ve been waiting so long for you to realize that. From day one, I saw everything that you’re just probably realizing. Howie, you have to realize that just because you’re in a wheelchair, it doesn’t mean you can’t make fantastic music. Your life isn’t over when you’re slammed into a chair by some lousy doctor. You can reach above and beyond the injury and strive for things that you never thought possible. You can’t let life tear you down when you have so much to bring to the table. You’re absolutely wonderful,” Nicola enthused, leaning toward him without thought.

“So are you… You keep me so happy, Nic,” Howie answered softly, allowing his hands to tangle into her honeysweet locks. He pulled her the rest of the way toward him, interlocking their lips. An intense heat lit inside his body as he broke the kiss and started another. He knew at that moment how badly he really needed her.

“No—” Nicola sighed suddenly, pushing Howie away. Her cheeks blazed with a fiery heat as she brought her hands against her face. She held her forehead as if she had a terrible headache. She knew that couldn’t persist in this silly fantasy. She gazed at Howie’s shocked expression and winced openly. “We… we can’t do this, Howie.”

“What do you mean?” Howie choked.

“This isn’t right.”

“What? What do you mean this isn’t right? What about last night?” Howie questioned in utter misery. He didn’t understand how something so wonderful could be so wrong. The lovemaking played constantly in his mind, reminding him how perfect everything fell into place. Her sweet kisses drove him to the brink of insanity. He dreamed about this moment for so long, but she was turning him away instead.

“Howie, the other night shouldn’t have happened.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m your physical therapist—”

“So?”

“You’re my patient, Howie! I can’t get involved with my patient. It’s completely unethical to start a relationship with you, no matter how I feel. It’s just not proper and I could loose my job for this.”

“Then just quit!”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t have millions stored in my bank account! I need this job and I love what I do!”

“You love your job, yet you care nothing for me?” Howie asked bitterly. His heart ached openly with each word that passed through Nicola’s kissed lips. He couldn’t help but feel so confused. A few nights ago, she had acted so differently with him. Her loving kisses and compassion had healed his wounded soul. Yet, now, she was creating another painful injury that Howie feared might never heal.

“No, that’s not it at all!”

“Can you look me in the eyes and deny you felt nothing that night?” Howie pressed, weakening her protective layer.

“Howie—”

“Do you not love me?”

Nicola bowed her head down in shame. Howie made this attempt increasingly difficult as the minutes passed. She wanted to give into temptation, but it wasn’t right. She could feel her brain and heart arguing intensely as she stayed silent. Things just never came easy in her life, no matter what the situation. Nicola sighed deeply, “Howie, I do care for you, but it’s terribly complicated.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

Howie reached out and brought Nicola’s hands to his lips. He would lay one more offer on the table of love. He would put his heart out on the line. He would give just one more chance. “I can tell you that with all my heart I love you. There’s nothing else to really say but those words. I love you, Nicola. I love you a lot. And, my family is coming over for dinner on Thursday. So, if you do care for me, then come to dinner. The ball is officially in your court and there will be no pressure. You take time to think about this. You don’t have to decide until Thursday evening. If you decline, then we’ll keep this a strictly professional relationship. Or, if you come, I’ll have a chance to love you like you deserve to be loved.”

Author's Note: I know I don't do this much, but I wanted to announce that Alex and I are doing a FanFiction Awards for this month. Please, go nominate your own fictions and your friends' fictions, because we got some great talent that needs exploited. Go to: http://www.geocities.com/sbfrffa/index.html Thanks!!!

Chapter 28 – Waiting for Love

Howie found himself a wreck on Wednesday as the minutes slowly passed. Howie began to realize that he felt as if he were waiting for his execution. Each minute emitted more agony than the previous as his thoughts began to get the best of him. He had first assumed that Nicola would accept the invitation after a day of pondering, but his mind had tricked him. Nicola had yet to reach him since his invitation. He began to fear that he had read her wrong when it came to the emotions building inside her. Maybe she had only cared for him as a friend and didn’t want him to be embarrassed. The more he concentrated on the possibility, the crazier he became. It was as if he had entered high school again. Howie feared that if he waited much longer, his heart might burst.

“D, you need to get in control of yourself,” AJ announced as he sat down on the edge of the Jacuzzi. AJ had spent the day working out with Howie to build his strength, now Howie relaxed in a therapeutic Jacuzzi for his body. AJ thought Howie looked anything but relaxed in the Jacuzzi. AJ could read the signs as if it were an elementary book. Howie was stressing about Nicola in the worst way.

“Aje, she hasn’t called me yet. Maybe I read the signs wrong. It’s been awhile since I had to read those stupid female signs,” Howie complained, slamming his fists into the bubbling water. The water splashed outward, soaking AJ. He offered a sour glare to Howie as he slipped into the steamy water. Howie said nothing – he was just tired of waiting.

“How the Hell could you read the signs wrong? You had SEX with the woman!” AJ groaned for what seemed like the millionth time.

“But still—”

“Howie, who initiated the sex?”

“She did—”

“Your Honor, I REST MY CASE!”

“Stop messing around,” Howie growled, not wanting AJ to take this lightly. His heart was laid upon the thinnest line. One foul move and his heart would be crushed. Howie knitted his brows together in confusion, still pondering his fate. He was truly terrified about her response. He finally turned to AJ, meeting his friend’s smirk with a serious stare. “What if she doesn’t want me?”

“Why wouldn’t she want you?”

“Because I’m only half of a man. My career is over. I can’t provide for anyone like I used to. I can’t go for romantic walks on the beach. I can’t take her to the beach to go swimming. I can’t take her to an amusement park. It’ll be a pain to take her to the movies. I can’t take her dancing. And what if I can’t have kids? What if we become serious? Then I won’t be able to do the traditional husband and wife dancing. With me, she’s going to miss out on all the fun of a normal relationship.”

“Howie, cut the bullshit,” AJ replied bluntly.

“Huh?”

“I said to cut the bullshit. Don’t you listen to what anyone has to say besides that Psycho-Wench Darcy?”

“I—”

“Man, you’re a great guy and you have a heart of gold. You have a lot more going for you than all of us guys put together. Any woman would be lucky to have you. And, damn, your career isn’t over. You still have awesome abilities to sing and write music. Plus that song you showed me the other day – holy shit – you’re on fire, D! Plus, your Occupational Therapist is hooking you up with tons of gadgets to normalize your life. Hell, you can even drive those sweet cars of yours now. So, cut the shit about not being worthy of Nicola. Alright?”

Howie actually gave a small smile. “You should write a self-help book.”

“Hell no, I swear too much,” AJ snorted, dismissing the idea quickly.

“You mean Jamila hasn’t whipped that swearing out of your system yet?”

“What are you saying?” AJ accused crossly.

“I’m saying you’re whipped,” Howie replied, shifting the attention off himself.

“I’m not whipped.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, J.”

“D, I’d watch your mouth, because when Nicola’s your chick, you’ll have Hell to pay in the whipping department.”

*~*~*

Nicola sat herself on the edge of Lucy’s twin-sized bed covered with My Little Pony sheets. It was nine in the evening and Lucy was tired from playing with her mother. Nicola had taken some time away from work to take Lucy swimming. The child absolutely adored the water, just like her mother. Nicola leaned over her yawning child and kissed her cheek gently. Lucy smiled, leaning up to hug her mother tightly. Nicola laughed; pushing Lucy down onto the bed once more and helping her snuggle beneath her covers. Nicola handed Lucy her favorite her teddy bear and brushed away some stray honey locks that had fallen in Lucy’s sapphire eyes. “Night, Lovebug.”

“Night-night, Mommy,” Lucy called dreamily, closing her eyes. Nicola kissed her daughter once more and rose from the bed. She walked to the door and clicked off the lights. Nicola was easing the door shut when Lucy called out. “Mommy?”

“What, Honey?”

“Are you going to date a tasty beefcake with buns that were rolled tighter than a sticky bun?”

Nicola stifled a laugh. “Who taught you that?”

“Aunt Hollie.”

“Oh, well tell your Aunt Hollie that she’s not supposed to teach you those words till your fifty!”

Lucy’s eyes drooped once more. “O-tay, Mommy.”

“Love you, Lucy.”

“Love you, Mommy,” Lucy answered meekly, forgetting the previous conversation.

Nicola closed her daughter’s bedroom door and hurried downstairs as if there were fireballs beneath her feet. Marie sat on the couch, slowly sipping her tea. Nicola had asked her mother over to discuss Howie’s proposal, but Nicola had first wanted Lucy in bed. She wanted complete privacy when this issue was reviewed. Nicola had been completely baffled for the week, refusing to deal with it till that very night. Somehow, Nicola let her mind wander again to her daughter’s words. Her emerald eyes became dark as jade as she plopped onto her couch, muttering, “Hollie’s a dead girl.”

“Why?” Marie laughed at the sudden change in her daughter’s demeanor.

“Hollie taught Lucy the language of hotness.”

“Excuse me?”

“Lucy asked me if I would be dating a tasty beefcake with buns that were rolled tighter than a sticky bun.”

“Oh my!”

“Hollie is completely crazy,” Nicola sighed, leaning back on her couch. She took a deep gulp of soda and studied the label. She didn’t know how to start the conversation that she wanted. She feared speaking of Howie, but she needed council. She needed her mother’s guidance in the situation. Nicola took a deep breath, finally pulling herself into an upright position. “Momma, I didn’t call you over to talk about how I’m going to murder Hollie.”

“So I assumed.”

“Momma,” Nicola groaned, tugging at her strawberry blonde curls. She needed straightforward answers, not jokes. She felt as if she were walking a tight-rope that was slowly unwinding. One fatal mistake with Howie would cause the rope to snap and her to pummel to the ground. Her heart pleaded for her to go to Howie and confess her feelings, but her brain blocked her strength to do so. “Look, I’m not going to play stupid anymore. What am I going to do about Howie?”

“That’s what you have to tell me.”

“What do you think of him?”

“From what you tell me and my brief encounter?”
“Yes, Momma.”

“I find him to be quite suitable for what you need. He seems to be very loving and kind. His eyes, however, show his sorrow. I think he needs to feel love again. He needs stability in his life. He needs someone who will take care of him. And, he’s obviously willing to risk a lot to have love again,” Marie reflected softly.

“And what about me?”

“I think that you’re the one he needs to feel complete. He bent over backwards to apologize to you. He definitely feels deeply for you.”

“What about my job? Is it fair for me to date a patient?”

“Nicola, I can’t decide that for you. But I can tell you that you’ve grown to love him. And, you deserve to love again. Trevor can’t have a stranglehold on your emotions forever. You deserve to have someone to care for you. Trevor would definitely want that for you and you know that Howie isn’t going to turn into Trevor. You don’t have to be afraid. And, the biggest issue is that Lucy deserves a Daddy. I know that Danny does a lot for her, but he’s not enough. An uncle can only do so much.”

“I know.”

“You have all the facts together. Sweetie, you just need to take the leap.”

A/N - Just wanted to tell you all again to go nominate yourself or a friend in the Step Back From Reality Fan Fiction Awards at http://www.geocities.com/sbfrffa/ THANKS!


Chapter 29 – Plunging Into The Unknown

Nicola swallowed the urge to curse as she turned once again in her large bed. She pulled her body up roughly and collapsed onto her back. She bounced lightly on the springy bed, glancing toward her clock for confirmation. It was already two in the morning and she couldn’t recall one period of slumber during the entire night. Nicola wanted to scream and knock herself unconscious. She couldn’t sleep. Her mind refused to slumber while Howie’s proposal toiled inside her troubled mind. She fitfully tossed and turned every half hour. Nothing seemed right and wouldn’t seem right till she corrected the problem. She needed to speak to him – now.

*~*~*

Howie yawned sleepily as he slowly wheeled himself to the door. He couldn’t imagine who would want him at three in the morning, but the insistent banging made him think otherwise. Howie scratched his bare stomach as he punched the button to make the door open. He nearly choked when Nicola came into his blurry vision. He felt his heart pound irrationally at her disheveled state. Howie believed that she made boxer shorts and a baggy t-shirt look as beautiful as a hundred dollar dress. Howie gulped nervously as he just stared at her, unable to make any words form.

“I need to talk to you,” Nicola started uneasily. She reached to pull her unruly curls into a tight ponytail. She smoothed out her crinkled boxer shorts, suddenly becoming aware of her shabby appearance. Howie’s intense eyes always did a number on her heart, but it was too late to make herself presentable.

“You never called, Nic,” Howie whispered.

“I know, that’s why I came…” Nicola explained, following him into the living room. She sat down on the couch, facing him. She felt her palms grow sweaty, so she quickly wiped them off on her shirt. She tapped her feet nervously, trying to form her words properly. She didn’t want to screw this entire procedure up.

“I thought you were going to turn me down—”

“Not entirely,” Nicola hesitated.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to tell you that I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

“About what?”

“About why I was so hesitant in starting a relationship with you.”

Howie felt his heart sink against his stomach. “Oh.”

“Don’t give me that sad look yet, just let me explain, okay?”

“Okay, go ahead…”

“When I told you that I was worried about my job role combined with your patient status, I wasn’t lying. But another road block was my past, Howie,” Nicola explained slowly.

“What about it?”

“Well, I was married when I was seventeen. I met my husband, Trevor, in high school. We were pretty crazy, which caused me to become pregnant at seventeen. My mother understood the consequences and loved both Trevor and me regardless of our stupidity. She promised to help with the baby when I started college, because I had gotten pregnant close to high school graduation. Trevor understood that I wanted to go for physical therapy in college and said that I could do whatever I wanted. He loved me a lot. So, we got married after my graduation from high school and I enrolled in the same college he was attending. Everyone promised to help and Trevor was so excited about having a baby. We seemed like the perfect couple with our heads held high, because everything would work out to be a dream come true,” Nicola began softly. She tried not to notice the shocked look upon Howie’s face, but found herself studying his features as she continued.

“Just like everyone else, I thought it was perfect. I thought that nothing could hurt us, because we were moving forward with our family and careers at the same time. But, that first Christmas together as a married couple ruined everything. I was beginning my third trimester of pregnancy and I wanted to show off my rounding tummy to our friends. Hollie was having a Christmas party the day after Christmas and I so badly wanted to attend. Trevor just wanted to stay with my family for the evening, but I insisted we see Hollie. Trevor just wanted me to be happy, so we went. We had such a great time at the party. We laughed, danced, kissed, and just let everything blossom, but coming home was a different story. Trevor had some alcohol, so I drove. We were coming onto the highway for a straight shot to my mother’s home and Trevor was holding my hand. He held my attention for a second to tell me I was beautiful… Needless to say, I never saw the drunk driver on our side of the road heading straight toward us.”

“Oh my God,” Howie hissed in absolute surprise.

“He completely totaled our car and even flipped it a few times. He climbed out of his car without a scratch on him. I came out with bruises and a broken arm, but Trev was paralyzed from the waist down. Mom said I wasn’t hurt badly because of the baby, but it didn’t matter. Trev was so bitter after the accident. He refused to take physical or emotional therapy, insisting that I do it because I was being trained anyway. I was arrogant and didn’t push him to go, because I thought I could take care of him. I thought that I could actually heal him. But he just got worse. He was bitter, cruel, and hateful as the days passed. Whatever I had fallen in love with dissolved completely beneath his dark persona. He lashed out at least every day and I sobbed at least every day for him. Depressed had ate his soul until finally, after two months, he killed himself while I was taking my last final.”

Howie watched a few tears escape from the corners of Nicola’s weary eyes. It looked as if she had been fighting this story for too many years. He reached out to take her hand. He pushed himself closer, gently stroking her hand with his thumbs. “Go ahead, Nic,” Howie whispered softly, knowing that she needed to release this burden. “You can tell me everything, Sweetheart, no matter what.”

“His suicide note blamed me for everything that happened. For the crash, for the wheelchair, for his suicide… Everyone told me that he was just bereaved, but I felt so guilty for so long. I never had time to properly grieve his death, because my daughter was born a week after his funeral. Imagine, an eighteen year old, first year college student, mother, and widow.”

“I’m very sorry that this happened to you, but I hope you realize that it wasn’t your fault.”

Nicola foolishly pulled her hands away from Howie’s grasp to wipe away her falling tears. “It’s okay, Howie. I’m a lot better now. It was five years ago and I’ve had time to adjust. I have a beautiful daughter named Lucille Marie Tilley that helped me beyond the pain. All she’s had in her life for a father figure was my younger brother. She’ll never know her real father, but she doesn’t seem to mind much as long as I’m around. She will when she’s older, but I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. She’s so smart and talented, though, everything a mother could hope for.”

“She probably looks exactly like you,” Howie stated with a knowing smile. The idea of Nicola having a child did nothing to alter his thoughts of her. If anything, the story enhanced Nicola’s appeal. She had struggled for so long with such a dastardly accident, but still continued to enjoy life’s other mysteries. Many would have crumpled under the pressure, but Nicola seemed to bloom. Howie knew at that moment that his love for her would only grow with time. No way would this story unhinge the wanting in his heart.

Nicola offered a shy smile. “She does, but she has her Daddy’s sapphire eyes.”

"She must be beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Nicola whispered, drawling herself into silence.

“Nicola, why did you want me to know your story?” Howie whispered after several moments of silence.

“Because I thought you needed to know the biggest reason to why I was hesitant in starting a relationship with you. I was terribly afraid of committing to you, but not anymore. My mom made me realize that I deserve to love again, because that’s what Trev would want. I’ve had enough heartache to last me five lifetimes. And, I know that I do love you. And I’m willing to take a chance on this love as long as you can love both Lucy and me,” Nicola explained, kneeling down on the floor to face Howie in his wheelchair.

Howie looked at Nicola as if it were absurd to even assume he wouldn’t want both her and Lucy in his life. He leaned downward to gently kiss Nicola. She shivered at the intensity of their kiss, causing Howie to chuckle lightly. He had dreamed so long of this moment. He pulled Nicola to her feet and then made her crawl into his lap on the wheelchair. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, leaning up to kiss her neck. “I can’t wait to meet Lucy, because I love you and I know that I’ll most definitely fall in love with her, too.”

Nicola smiled with relief. “I dropped her off at Momma’s house before I came here. She was a little unnerved about being dragged out of her bed with her Mommy in boxer shorts. I was a wreck.”

“So I noticed, but I think you look quite sexy in boxer shorts and a t-shirt.”

“Yeah, I must have shocked many men while speeding down the road…”

“They probably took pictures,” Howie teased softly.

“I hope I at least get some kind of wage benefit from their profits.”

Howie laughed and kissed her again. “Bring Lucy over for the dinner today early, so I can meet her before my parents and siblings get here.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes, of course I do. If I want to be a part of your life, I need to be a part of Lucy’s life, too. Plus, Mom has been ragging on me to get a family started. Guess she won’t have room to chide me when you and Little Lucy are romping about in my life, huh?”

Nicola leaned down to kiss him deeply. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. And Nicola?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you spend the night and not run out of here before I wake up?”

“Okay,” Nicola sighed with contentment, bringing her lips to his, knowing that the plunge was well worth the sleepless night.

A/N: http://www.geocities.com/sbfrffa/ FAN FICTION AWARDS - Can't say that enough!

Chapter 30 – New Daddy

Nicola was a wreck as she waited for Lucy to step off her school bus. She had called her mother with the good news as soon as she arrived home, but that conversation kept her mind occupied for a few minutes. Now, Nicola focused her attention on her daughter. It was the child’s last day of Kindergarten, which meant that a breathless summer would begin in a few minutes. Lucy’s demands would explode in Nicola’s ears with wanting to swim, play, watch movies, go on trips, and dozens of other activities. However, Nicola wasn’t overly worried, knowing that Howie would be on her side to help with Lucy. She had spent most of the day at Howie’s home. They had attempted a few hours of physical therapy, but then it turned quickly into a fevered lovemaking. Now, Nicola was waiting for Lucy while remembering her lovely afternoon while silently making a schedule for herself and her child.

“Mommy! I see your undies!” Lucy giggled as she entered the home, breaking Nicola’s thoughts. Nicola glanced down in surprise, realizing that she only wore a tank top and her rubber-ducky-printed bikini briefs. Lucy couldn’t control her giggles as she jumped into her mother’s arms. “I like the rubber-ducky ones, Mommy!”

“Me, too. Good think you didn’t bring home a boyfriend, though! Do you think he would have been impressed by my cute undies?”

“Mommy, eww! Boy’s have yucky germs!”

“Oh, forgive me! I forgot your view on the boys of the Kindergarten Playgirl Yearbook,” Nicola gasped, chasing Lucy up the stairs into the master bedroom. Lucy squealed in surprise, trying to run faster, but her mother was fast. Nicola grabbed Lucy just as the entered, plopping the child down on the king-sized bed. She ruffled her child’s curls before sauntering to her closet. “How does it feel to have a big-girl summer without school, Lucy?”

“Great! Now we can have big-girl movie nights every day!”

“Yes, we can,” Nicola agreed.

“And have Uncle Danny over to play in the pool?”

“Yes, m’am.”

“And Aunt Hollie?”

“Yes.”

“And Aunt Rosie?”

“Yes.”

“And Grammy?”

“Anybody you want, Lucy,” Nicola chuckled, pushing garments around in her closet. She rolled her eyes for a moment when she admired the shortness of her wardrobe, picking and choosing which outfit might be physically possible. Usually, she wasn’t fussy about her clothing, but she wanted to look perfect for Howie’s family. She wasn’t being introduced as the physical therapist this time. She was being reintroduced as Howie’s girlfriend and that called for a drastic change in appearance. She felt as if she were back in high school again.

“Can we go out for dinner, Mommy?” Lucy asked, oblivious to her mother’s current dilemma.

“Actually, we are, Sweetie.”

“Where? Pizza Hut?”

“No. At Mommy’s friend’s home.”

“The house of the beefcake that’s going to be my new Daddy?” Lucy pondered with excitement, bouncing on the bed. Her teal eyes glittered in absolute glee. She hadn’t known her father and had always asked Nicola about him. She had never really known any true father figure and the thought of having one was like receiving a Christmas gift.

“Who said that he was going to be — Did Aunt Holly teach you that?”

“Yes, she said I’d be getting a new Daddy!” Lucy replied happily.

“Aunt Hollie’s a dead woman,” Nicola declared in a melodious tone. She picked up a soft blue shirt that had one strap to wrap around her left shoulder. She grinned in delight as she picked up a pair of black shorts. Nicola decided that it was the choice outfit, somewhat casual without looking like a complete bum. Nicola sat down on the bed, beside her daughter, immediately loosening the sling. “We’re going to eat with Mr. Dorough, Mommy’s friend.”

“Is he your beefcake?” Lucy questioned curiously, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck.

“I prefer the term beefie.”

“Oh…is he your boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Nicola answered, knowing that she could never lie to her child.

“Do you kiss him?” Lucy asked, scrunching her nose in distaste as Nicola had always done.

“Yes, I do.”

“Ewww!” Lucy squealed.

“I know!” Nicola laughed, matching her daughter’s disgusted look.

“Will I get boy germs if I still kiss you?”

“No, sweetie! I promise! You can kiss me all you like, I’m make sure I spray with anti-cootie mouthwash before I kiss you.”

“Good!” Lucy declared, staring at her mother for a moment. “Do you love him like you loved my Real Daddy?”

“Yes, Lucy, I think I do.”

“Will he be my new Daddy?”

“I hope so, Lucy.”

Lucy squealed with excitement. “Can I wear my new sundress for my new daddy?”

“Sure, Baby,” Nicola answered, praying that her answer to the Daddy question didn’t break Lucy’s heart.

*~*~*

“Aje, hang the damn phone up, please!” Howie groaned, struggling to pull on a light yellow t-shirt with a phone attached to his ear. He was anxious to meet Nicola’s daughter, knowing that everything surrounding his relationship with Nicola rested in the small child’s hands. Some men would be completely horrified at the moment arriving, but Howie was actually excited. He loved children and could only imagine Nicola’s child as being sweet and utterly adorable. And, he couldn’t wait to kiss Nicola again. He tingled at the mere thought of her touch, but was quickly drawn away by AJ’s voice. All the guys had made several calls during the day for the latest dirt, making it utterly impossible for Howie to prepare.

“So, she’s definitely coming for dinner?”

“Yes, for the thousandth time, yes!”

“Can we meet her? You know, without the threat of her bashing our brains out?”

“Not tonight.”

“When?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Estimation?”

“AJ, I don’t know!”

“Guess!”

“I don’t care when, really! Just not tonight. I have to make sure that everything goes perfect with my family!”

“Are you nervous?”

“Can’t you tell?”

“Well?”

“A little.”

“I thought your mom and sisters loved her?”

“They do.”

“Then why are you worried?”

“Because I’m not ready for her to come!”

“Why?”

“BECAUSE YOU BABOONS KEEP DIALING MY PHONE NUMBER AND BOTHERING ME!” Howie exploded.

“DAMN! PMS MUCH?”

“You’re driving me nuts, AJ!”

“It’s my job—”

“Goodbye, AJ.”

“Wait!”

“Have a nice date with Jamila tonight—”

“Thanks, but—”

“I’m hanging up—”

“D—”

“Right now!”

“DAMN! GOOD LUCK!”

Chapter 31 – Innocent Wonder

Howie was amazed when Nicola arrived with her daughter. At that moment, Howie thanked God for the two beautiful girls that stood before him. Nicola simply took Howie’s breath away. She held an essence around her that made Howie come alive. And, now that she had taken the time to dress professionally, Nicola was way above charming. He offered her a loving smile as she bent to kiss his cheek. Nicola then scrunched her lithe body down to Lucy’s height, pulling the young child into her arms. Nicola kissed her daughter’s sweet-smelling curls. “Howie, I would like you to meet my favorite little girl, Lucy.”

Howie gazed at Lucy and immediately fell in love. Her soft innocent radiated about her, making Howie vow to protect her from whatever he could. She looked exactly like a younger version of Nicola, except for her dark teal eyes. Lucy offered a shy smile as she tugged on her blue cherry-printed sundress. Her flaxen locks were pulled into a ponytail. Howie found himself enchanted with the small girl. She seemed so perfect in every way. Almost like an illusion.

“Hi, Lucy, my name’s Howie,” he greeted with a large smile.

“My name is Lucille Marie,” Lucy answered quietly, feeling her mother squeeze her hand reassuringly. Lucy stepped forward, needing only a few minutes to warm up to Howie’s personable attitude. She peered up at her mother for a moment, then back to Howie. “I was named after my Grammy.”

“Well, that’s great! It’s a perfect name,” Howie enthused, praying that Lucy would like him. He needed Lucy’s approval and he yearned for her to love him. The idea of having a child in his life excited him beyond belief. Before, Howie hadn’t really focused on creating a family before, but when he looked at Nicola and Lucy – it just felt so right.

Lucy nodded, taking a step toward him. She ran her small fingers down the sleek metal of his wheelchair. Lucy’s bright teal eyes studied his appearance and terrifying apparatus carefully. “Do you have a big owie? Like Mommy’s arm?”

Howie offered a kind smile. “Kind of like that.”

“Does Mommy help with your owie?”

“Yes, she helps a lot,” Howie agreed, gazing at Nicola. He felt his heart swell when he noticed the faint blush creeping to her radiant cheeks. Getting lost in Nicola’s emerald eyes, Howie felt Lucy tug at his t-shirt. Howie immediately focused his attention back on the small child. “What do you want, Lucy?”

“Do you live in this big house by yourself?”

“Yes,” Howie answered, hoping that the answer would change soon.

“Do you sing on TV?”

“Yes.”

“Oh! I know now! Aunt Rosie listens to you!” Lucy blurted out in delight as the pieces fit into her curious mind. Her teal eyes danced with delight. “Aunt Rosie says you and your friends are seriously hot men that can star in her dreams any night. Aunt Holly says you’re a beefcake, but Mommy like the word beefie for you—”

“Lucille Marie Tilley!” Nicola burst in surprise.

“What?” Lucy giggled, knowing she had gotten her mother into trouble.

“You talk too much!”

“I know, Grammy tells me all the time!”

“I know, too!” Nicola groaned.

“Grammy tells me that I got my mouth from you!”

“And I got my mouth from Grammy!”

“Not-uh!” Lucy defended.

“Uh-huh!”

“Not-uh!”

“Lucille!” Nicola grunted, seizing her daughter for tickles.

Howie laughed at the antics of the small family. Their connection was obviously deep. Howie tried to hide his smirk as Lucy turned in her mother’s arms to glance at him. She held a silly grin on her flushed face, causing Howie to chuckle. Howie reached up to brush his hands across Lucy’s soft cheeks. “Hey, Lucy, in that room I have The Little Mermaid on. Your Mommy said it was your favorite. Do you want to go watch it?”

“Can I Mommy?” Lucy squealed, fidgeting in her mother’s arms.

“Go ahead, Baby,” Nicola agreed, letting her daughter free. She shook her head in disbelief as Lucy hurried into the room as if her feet were on fire. Nicola offered Howie a shy smile, thankful that the initial encounter had gone over well for all parties. “Lucy is quite a character. She was even that animated when she was a baby. She was always smiling and giggling, patting her hands and kicking her feet. Her eyes were always sparkling like she had a secret. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“She’s gorgeous,” Howie assured, pulling Nicola toward him. She blushed as he pulled her into his lap without a second thought. He leaned up and kissed her tenderly. “She’s exactly like you.”

“My Momma says the same. Do you think you’ll be able to handle us both?” Nicola pondered, wrapping her arms about his neck.

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I love you both.”

“You know that already?”

“Yes, because it’s love at first sight,” Howie answered, running his fingers against Nicola’s cast. He frowned with guilt as his memory jogged quickly. “I’m sorry about that damn thing still, Nic. When do you get that damn thing off?”

“The end of this week.”

“Fantastic.”

“I know,” Nicola laughed. “It’s way too itchy.”

“One more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you love me?”

“Always,” Nicola answered, bringing her lips against his. Her body lit with intense flames as Howie ran his hands down the small of her back. The electricity between them just felt so right. She knew that she had made the right decision. She pulled herself tighter against his body, locking their lips in another heated embrace.

“Mommy! You’re catching cooties!” Lucy screeched out, scaring both the adults. They turned to see Lucy wagging her small finger at them as if she were scolding them. Her teal eyes glittered with an impish nature. “No kissies for the beefie!”

“I still can’t believe you call men beefies,” Howie teased.

“Shut up,” Nicola growled playfully, kissing him to silence him.

“Mommy, no kissies for me?” Lucy suddenly asked with a hint of jealousy.

Nicola leaned down, scooping Lucy into her arms. Howie leaned back in surprise as the child was brought into the cozy pile. Nicola said nothing as she smothered the little girl with various types of kisses. Lucy shrieked in absolute delight, holding her mother’s cheeks as if to stop her. Nicola’s cheeks were flushed bright red when she offered the last kiss. Nicola smiled cheekily to her daughter as she spoke, “Need more kissies?”

“Nope, all full!” Lucy chirped.

“I’m empty of kisses,” Howie pouted.

“I’ll give you cootie-free-kissies, Howie!” Lucy offered warmly, wrapping her small around Howie’s neck, and attacking him with kisses.

*~*~*

“She has to be the cutest thing that I have ever seen!” Angie, Howie’s other sister, gushed for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was after dinner and the girls were sitting around the kitchen table. A few feet away, Howie, Hoke, and John were playing a round of cards. Lucy had decided to sit on Howie’s lap, busying herself with helping him. Howie chuckled as she slapped down an array of cards, declaring they had won. Hoke and John started to protest, but Lucy whimpered slightly, causing them to praise her for the smart hand. Howie tickled her ribs as she kissed his cheek; it was obvious that Lucy loved Howie.

“I remember that Howie was a cute child,” Paula interjected, handing Nicola a piece of pie. She was thrilled that Nicola had accepted Howie proposal for a relationship. She and her daughters absolutely adored Nicola. They could only recall her being kind and respectful and it was one of the first times that Paula could recall her youngest son being truly happy.

“I don’t recall Howie being a cute child. I can only recall a screaming, wild-boy, covered in mud running insanely around the house with a wet towel, screaming the Batman tune,” Pollyanna teased, glancing at her brother with a smirk.

“Everyone called him the Troublemaker Dorough,” Angie giggled.

“Ang and Polly, you’re just jealous because the neighbors thought I was cuter than you,” Howie taunted, studying his cards intently. He grinned in triumph when he heard his sisters shriek with offense. Knowing his job was done; he set down his cards for the win. The men quickly groaned, adding to the girls’ high pitched complaints.

“Howard,” Paula chided softly, clicking her tongue. She sat down next to Nicola, patting her arm. “We’re all thrilled that you accepted Howie’s dinner invitation. He’s so much happier and Lucy seems quite attached already. You’ll both make a wonderful addition to our family. So, welcome.”

“Thank you,” Nicola replied happily, kissing the older woman’s cheek.

“Yeah, thanks, Mom,” Howie called, wheeling himself and Lucy to the other side of Nicola. He wrapped his hands around Nicola’s hands as Lucy crawled into Pollyanna’s lap. He kissed each hand tenderly, and then leaned beside him to kiss Lucy’s cheek. “They both fit perfectly in my life.”

“What do the guys think?” John asked.

Nicola offered a nervous smile, shifting her weight carefully. “I haven’t exactly met them formally. Although, I can say that I spoke to them briefly without much tact. I sort of yelled at them for disrespecting Howie…”

“I’m guess you made quite the impression,” Hoke chuckled.

“Most definitely,” Nicola replied, shaking her head.

“Would you like to try again?” Howie offered.

“You mean another introduction to them?” Nicola asked, somewhat unsure.

“They’ll love you,” Howie promised, kissing her gently.

“And if not, you can verbally assault them till they cave, Nicola,” Pollyanna teased.

Chapter 32 – A Girl’s Intuition

Nicola was an absolute nervous wreck as she attacked her closet for an appropriate outfit. She and Lucy had spent every day for the past week with Howie and were finally meeting his band mates for the first time. Nicola had already spent the first hour making sure Lucy was prepared, now she just needed to get herself together. She wanted to look her best, but nothing seemed right when she held it against her slim body. Nicola growled in frustration, throwing yet another top on the pile atop her bed. She offered a sour glare toward Hollie when her friend started to laugh. “Decker, I asked you to help me, NOT laugh at me!”

“I’m sorry, Cola-Pop, but since when did you start caring about what you wore on your body?” Hollie snorted, trying her best to control her giggles. Hollie already confirmed that Howie was indeed a special person in Nicola’s life, because Nicola hated sophisticated outfits and caring about her appearance. Nicola always bought her clothes on the intuition of comfort, not style.

“I started caring about clothing when I found out I was spending the day with four men that I pretty much cussed out! So, I can’t really depend on my sweet and sunny deposition to win these men over!”

“It was funny the way you reamed—”

“They’re his best friends, Hollie. It wasn’t funny, it was idiotic,” Nicola scolded, pulling out an ancient dress from the back of her closet. Nicola crinkled her nose in obvious distaste as she jerked the dress away from the rod, causing dust to explode all around. Nicola coughed loudly as the dust lingered around her, embedding into her skin. She shivered, immediately throwing the dress that resembled a pale lilac onto the ground. “What about that?”

“Don’t be serious! Isn’t that the dress from Senior Prom?” Hollie snorted, releasing another fit of tight giggles.

“If I hosed it down—”

“Now that I think about it, you haven’t even worn a dress SINCE prom!”

“Hollie Ann!” Nicola bellowed, slumping onto the floor in the middle of her closet. She crossed her arms against her chest like a pouting child.

“Cola-Pop, calm down! I’m just saying…stop trying so hard. You’re already a great person and you don’t need to impress them. Hell, if they don’t realize what a terrific woman you are, they’re complete and utter assholes.”

Nicola inhaled deeply. “Thanks for the pep talk, but make sure those words don’t end up in Lucy’s vocabulary. She’s already learned enough from your mouth, trust me.”

“I have no recollection to which you’re speaking,” Hollie answered professionally.

“I’m calling bullshit, because my daughter told Howie that you thought he was a beefcake.”

“That’s my girl!” Hollie hooted.

“Beg your pardon?” Nicola quipped, arching her eyebrows in question.

“MOMMY!” Lucy interrupted, bursting into the room, and saving Hollie from a stern lecture. Hollie slumped back in the computer chair with relief as Nicola turned her attention to Lucy. The child’s eyes were bright with excitement as she gripped the cordless phone tightly in her tiny hands. Her flaxen locks were twisted into a single braid, complimented with a pretty lavender ribbon that matched her sundress. Hollie smiled, knowing that the lavender dress was Lucy’s favorite, and that the boys would absolutely adore the little girl. “Mommy! Howie called!”

“And?” Nicola drawled, peering out of the closet.

“He said to bring a swimsuit and he’s coming right now,” Lucy replied, looking up to the ceiling as if peering into her brain for the needed information.

“Thanks, Baby,” Nicola blurted, hurrying back into her closet with renewed energy.

Hollie chuckled as she watched more items of clothing come flying out of the closet. Knowing that Nicola was busy, Hollie bent down to scoop the little girl into her arms. Lucy squealed in surprise as Hollie blew several kisses onto her rosy cheeks. “I want to know what you think of Howie, Miss Lucy!”

“He’s great, Aunt Hollie! His house is big and when Mommy takes care of his owie, I got play in his TV room with Polly. Polly got me lots of My Little Ponies to play with and Howie got all the Disney movies for me, but I hav’ta keep it a secret from Mommy!” Lucy whispered loudly into Hollie’s ear.

“Oh, okay! We’ll keep it a secret,” Hollie promised, winking at Lucy.

“You know what else, Aunt Hollie?”

“What?”

“I hope he’ll be my new Daddy.”

*~*~*

“Thanks for bringing me down, Kev,” Howie said as he and Kevin waited on Nicola’s porch. Howie was still learning how to control his new car that allowed him to drive, so he just wanted a quick ride for the day. Kevin had volunteered for the job when the others decided to go grab snacks for the get together. Another reason Kevin had volunteered to drive was because Howie was a wreck worry about the encounter between his friends and girlfriend. What they didn’t know was that Howie carried a continuous prayer that the boys would accept Nicola and Lucy.

“No problem, Howie,” Kevin answered as the door opened.

Kevin was floored when a small child appeared behind the large door. The little girl’s eyes became bright when she saw Howie. She scurried into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Howie hugged the girl tightly as she delivered several kisses to his cheeks. “Hi, Howie! I’m so happy you picked us up!”

“Hey, Sweet Pea!” Howie cooed, returning the kisses.

“Guess someone hasn’t met the brat,” Hollie teased, noticing Kevin’s shocked expression.

“Oh, yeah! Kev, this is Lucy. Sweet Pea, this is my friend, Kevin,” Howie quickly introduced.

“Hi,” Kevin murmured to Lucy, although he was concentrating on Hollie. Something about her presence attacked his very core. Her dark blue eyes hiding behind the turtle shell glasses hinted to a restless wildness that complimented the sapphire stone in her nose, but her body posture suggested she was mellow. Her beauty was appealing to many men, but whatever Kevin saw in her eyes made him want more.

“I’ll get Cola-Pop,” Hollie finally decided, turning from the uncomfortable silence. She was about to yell when Nicola came running down the steps. She was muttering incoherently as she dabbed lip-gloss on her lips. She decided on a pair of worn, boot-cut jeans and a sleeveless lavender peasant top.

“Bare with me for my moment of chick-dom, Decker… How’s my butt–” Nicola stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Howie and one of his friends in the doorway. She blushed furiously, realizing that she had been close to revealing her nervousness. She subconsciously ran her fingers through her strawberry-blonde curls. “I am so sorry.”

“You look beautiful,” Howie commented honestly, not really focusing on her blunder.

“Besides, Cola-Pop, you have no butt to worry about anyway!” Hollie snickered, still amazed at Nicola’s state of mind. Hollie had never seen Nicola so worried about her appearance and it utterly fascinated Hollie.

“Cola-Pop?” Howie asked curiously.

“Mommy’s nickname from Aunt Deck,” Lucy chirped, cutting off the ‘er’ from Hollie’s nickname.

“Who?” Kevin responded in confusion.

“Oh, sorry!” Nicola blurted, extending her hand to Kevin. “I’m Nicola and this is Hollie. I’m Cola-Pop because of the ‘cola’ in my name and my bubbly nature, or maybe she gave it to me because I have fizz for a brainwave… I don’t know. And I call Hollie by the nickname ‘Decker’ because of deck the halls with…oh you know!”

“Oh, I see,” Kevin chuckled, focusing again on Hollie.

“You can call me by the name Hollie. Only Cola-Pop can get away with calling me Decker, because I know she could kick my butt if need be,” Hollie teased, extending her hand toward Kevin.

“It’s always been Kevin, even for pretty women like you,” Kevin replied, bending down to kiss her hand.

“We got a genuine Rico Suave, Cola-Pop,” Hollie laughed, pulling her hand back as her heart fluttered.

“So I’ve noticed,” Nicola replied with a sly smirk.

“Cola-Pop is very cute,” Howie decided, motioning for Nicola. She bent down with a knowing smile, gently kissing him. Lucy clapped in praise of the kiss, causing Howie to chuckle against Nicola’s soft lips. “I’ll need to make up my own special nickname for you.”

“Can’t wait to hear it,” Nicola enthused.

“One more question,” Kevin interrupted before they could kiss again. He motioned toward the child on Howie’s lap. “Is this your little sister, Nicola?”

Hollie and Nicola exchanged a brief look of confusion before look to Howie. He shrugged apologetically as his cheeks began to grow red. Nicola sighed heavily, “You didn’t tell them, did you?”

“Um…no…” Howie faltered. “I didn’t know how.”

Nicola merely nodded in disappointment. “Kevin, right?”

“Yes.”

“That little girl is Lucy, my daughter from my deceased husband,” Nicola answered softly.

Kevin stared at Howie in utter shock. He couldn’t find the appropriate words to convey his surprise. Howie had never mentioned a child when speaking of Nicola. Howie returned Kevin’s look with an uneasy glance, as if telling him not to rock the boat. Kevin bit down hard on his tongue, trying to gather the words to speak. Kevin finally stumbled with the words, “I…I’m sorry, Nicola.”

“It was over six years ago and I have my Lucy. So, don’t worry,” Nicola mumbled, shielding her emotions. She scooped her child from Howie’s lap, kissing Lucy’s soft curls.

“The guys will definitely flip,” Kevin mumbled.

“We better go, Nic,” Howie interjected, wanting to break through the tension.

“Okay,” Nicola answered, turning to Hollie. She and Lucy kissed both of Hollie’s cheeks. “What are you going to do tonight, Hollie?”

“Waiting to hear from you,” Hollie quipped, pulling Nicola in for a hug. While the women embraced, Hollie whispered in Nicola’s ear, “Don’t give Howie a hard time about explaining Lucy. Remember, you didn’t tell him about Lucy till you agreed to date him. The past is just hard to explain to others. So, promise me you won’t blow off the man of your dreams for a stupid mistake?”

“I promise, Decker,” Nicola replied with a smile. “But, since you’re waiting to hear from me anyway… Why don’t you stay here, then? I have a big screen TV and a full fridge.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course.”

“Can I crash in your huge bed?”

“Till I get home…”

“Sleep on your side?”

“Chick—”

“Just teasing!”

“So, are you staying?”

“Definitely, dude, free food and an amazing bed to crash in… Have fun, Cola-Pop. I’ll be waiting!”

Chapter 33 – Dreamers

“They all like you,” Howie confided as Nicola helped Howie slide easily into his silk PJ bottoms. Usually, he had no issue dressing himself from the wheelchair, but he needed to speak with Nicola privately. He could think of no other way for them to be separated from the group for a few extra minutes. The entire day had drifted by without a single dispute amongst the entire group. The boys had taken almost all of Nicola’s time during the day, wanting to hear more about her. Then the girlfriends seized both Lucy and Nicola for some private girl chatter, which almost obviously revolved around Howie and then touched on the remarkable Lucy. Now, the sun had already set and Nicola would have to leave with Lucy soon.

“Do they?” Nicola teased, tossing him a tank top from the drawer.

“Yes, I’m surprised Nick didn’t slip you his digits!”

“Oh, he already did,” Nicola laughed, handing Howie a small slip of paper. She noticed jealousy flicker in his dark eyes from what the piece of paper meant. Nicola rolled her eyes, crumpling Howie’s hands around the paper. She then crawled carefully into his lap, delivering a kiss. It was good to know that Howie felt so deeply about her. It almost flattered her to see the jealousy.

“I only want you, Howie,” she promised quietly.

“Good,” Howie murmured as the door opened.

“The boys want you!” Lucy called, hurrying into the family bundle. She crawled into her mother’s lap and kissed both Howie and Nicola. Howie smiled genuinely, tickling her stomach beneath the tank top. Lucy shrieked with giggles, burying her face into her mother’s shirt. When she was sure that Howie wouldn’t attack, she peeked out to reveal the rest of the information. “They say stop sharing cooties!”

“Okay, okay, we get the point,” Howie chuckled, running his fingers through Lucy’s messy curls before she hurried away.

“What do they think of her?” Nicola asked as she watched her daughter’s retreating form.

“They know that she’s your daughter—”

“And?”

“They were surprised like Kevin was surprised… Brian and AJ seem to understand why I love Lucy so much. Nick doesn’t understand why I’m involved with a woman who has a daughter… They’re just shocked, I guess. They don’t seem to outrageously mind, but I really don’t care anyway.”

“You don’t?”

“No,” Howie replied honestly.

“Why?”

“Because I love you and Lucy regardless of the others.”

“Honestly?” Nicola asked with a large smile.

“Straight up.”

“I love you so much, Howie!”

“I love you, too.”

“Can I ask you one more question before the boys yank me away again?”

“Sure, Sweetheart,” Howie chuckled.

“What’s with Kevin hounding me about Decker?” Nicola asked with confusion. The entire day had commenced with Kevin asking various questions about Hollie. At first, Nicola really didn’t think anything of the conversation, but as the day wore on she became suspicious. Something in Kevin’s eyes alerted Nicola to something deeper besides curiosity.

“I don’t know,” Howie replied with an earnest smile, although he knew what the glint in Kevin’s eyes meant.

“Well, it’s a little creepy.”

“We’re all a little creepy.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Nicola laughed as the boys began to holler for them.

*~*~*

“Okay, it’s tradition time!” Raegan announced once everyone had gathered back into the living room. Nicola and Howie sat perfectly content on the couch with Lucy lying peacefully against both of them. The boys exchanged knowing smiles to Raegan’s obvious plan. “Nicola, we have a tradition as Backstreet Girlfriends. Every time a new one of us joins the group…we ask the same question… And, the question to you is, what’s your dream for your life?”

“My dream?” Nicola questioned.

“Besides family and junk,” Jamila interjected. “Makes it more interesting that way.”

“Because she’s obviously already got that dream covered,” AJ teased, motioning toward the couple and child linked on the couch.

“Hmm…besides family… Okay! I’ve always wanted to own my own Physical Therapy Clinic. You know…my name painted on the door… Everyone searching me out for the best care they could ever possibly receive in Florida. The idea of helping people is so satisfying to a heart. Just to know that I made someone else’s life better. And I wouldn’t have to worry about a boss crushing me because of my gender. I would have enough money to give Lucy the world, which she deserves. But, it’s not all for the money, because I just keep remembering all the smiles that I get during physical therapy with my patients. Just the idea of people coming to see me for help gives me this warm sensation of pleasure,” Nicola explained with an enchanted smile.

“Wow, that’s deep,” Brian commented with approval.

“Yeah, I just need the funds and a building to start!” Nicola laughed, shrugging as if it were no big deal. She then glanced to Jamila and Raegan. “So, if this was tradition and you two joined in… Then what were your answers?”

“Marriage,” Jamila retorted.

“Kids,” Raegan agreed simply.

“WOAH!” Brian and AJ choked together, almost falling from the couch at the abruptness.

“You got their attention,” Howie laughed.

“Yeah and now we can leave you to your boys’ night, knowing that they won’t fall asleep,” Raegan giggled, obviously pleased with her boyfriend’s reaction.

“Thanks, Baby,” Brian muttered sarcastically, holding his hand against his heart.

“Marriage,” AJ trembled with a shiver.

“Poor boys,” Kevin chuckled, sitting back.

“They’ll get over it,” the two women answered in unison, standing up.

“You’re leaving, then?” Nicola asked.

“Yeah, the boys want some alone time,” Jamila replied.

“Can you give Lucy and me a ride?” Nicola pondered.

“You and that adorable child? Of course!” Raegan laughed.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Howie protested.

“Yeah, we have to go,” Nicola confirmed.

“Lucy will be mad if she wakes up without me there!” Howie complained as Nicola gently lifted her sleeping daughter. Immediately, Lucy curled her arms around her mother’s neck, laying her head against Nicola’s shoulder. Nicola kissed her daughter’s cheek, holding her small frame close. Howie felt his heart begin to ache. He hated to see them leave.

“She’ll be okay,” Nicola promised.

“No, she’ll miss me!”

“She always misses you, Howie—”

“Then let me take her out tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Just Sweet-Pea and me!”

“To where?”

“Somewhere—”

“Howie!”

“Please? She’ll absolutely love it.”

“But—”

“I want to take her out,” Howie stressed.

“Okay, fine.”

“Fantastic!”

“I love you,” Nicola laughed, leaning to kiss him.

“I love you, too!”

*~*~*

“Oh, you’re home early! No sex tonight?” Hollie teased as she followed Nicola upstairs to Lucy’s room. They tucked the little girl into bed without a word, knowing that they might disturb Lucy’s slumber. They then traveled back down to the living room. The quiet nature of Nicola had taken its toll upon Hollie’s mood. Becoming antsy, Hollie tackled Nicola onto the couch. “So, answer my question, no action?”

“Not until you jumped my bones!” Nicola grunted, struggling to get away.

“Did you have fun?” Hollie questioned, still sitting on Nicola’s stomach.

“Are you trying to pop my spleen?”

“Are you trying to say I’m fat?”

“No, I’m saying you’re popping my spleen!” Nicola grunted, finally weaseling her way from beneath Hollie. She tumbled onto the other couch as Hollie fell backward. Nicola took a deep breath, settling amongst the pillows. She gave Howie a playful glare as if daring her to do it again.

“Nope, I won’t do it again,” Hollie confirmed, reading her friend’s mind.

“You’re a nut.”

“I know, speaking of nuts… Did Kevin say anything about me tonight?” Hollie asked curiously.

“Yes, why?”

“Like, good things?”

“Are you looking for a hookup?”

“No… I just saw the way he was looking at me.”

“Oh, so now you’re completely infatuated with your self?”

“No, I just know when a guy gives me the official ‘let’s romp’ look.”

“Is that listed in a book somewhere?” Nicola groaned.

“Yeah, but no one you can find in a medical dictionary,” Hollie teased.

“I forgot what a pain in the ass you are…”

“Thanks, Babe!” Hollie chirped.

“Did anyone call for me while I was gone?”

“Did you have a good time?” Hollie countered.

“Yes…”

“Good, then I can give you the bad news.”

“Excuse me?” Nicola choked in surprise.

“Dr. Jacobs called. He wants you in his office next Tuesday.”

‘He also wants me in his bed,’ Nicola thought angrily, wondering what the man had planned.

*~*~*

“So, you approve of Nicola?” Howie asked excitedly as the guys dove into the second box of midnight pizza. The guys had decided to crash at Howie’s home. They had spent the entire night watching movies, writing songs, and goofing off. Howie felt as if he were back in a normal state of life. Yet, he was still eager to hear the guys’ opinions, knowing that Nicola had been so stressed over the fact. “Absolute fantastic, right?”

“Before we answer that, can we ask a question?” Kevin encountered, setting down his slice of pizza. He wiped the grease from his hands in a sophisticated manner as Howie nodded. “The guys want to know about Lucy.”

“What about her? She’s a sweet little girl,” Howie faltered in confusion.

“What about her Dad?” AJ asked.

“He’s different than most,” Howie drawled, not liking where the conversation was headed.

“How?” Nick mumbled. “He an axe murdering wrestler?”

“No, he’s dead,” Howie bluntly announced with a glare toward Nick.

“D—” Brian couldn’t finish his words.

“Yes, so just say what you want to say,” Howie reprimanded.

“Howie, we like Nicola a lot and Lucy’s a doll. But are you really ready for an instant family? You’re just getting over your accident. Things are still shaky in your life. I mean, Darcy threw you to the curb so hard, maybe you’re just trying to bounce back with Nicola... We just want you to know that we’re thinking about you,” Kevin answered as carefully as possible.

“I love Nicola and you can’t change that,” Howie curly declared.

“We know you do,” Brian trailed.

“Then for my sake, accept Lucy and Nicola into our family. Love them like I love Jamila and Raegan. I let those girls into my heart because I knew how much AJ and Brian cared for them. So, love my love, because it’s my choice and not yours. I know what I’m doing. Nicola is the one that’s putting my life back together. And I’m not letting either of them go. They’re a dream come true.”

Chapter 34 - I Need You

Howie smiled warmly as Lucy’s teal eyes grew wide in amazement as a baby zebra ventured toward the stationary jeep. The small animal pranced around the jeep for several minutes before inching closer, causing Lucy to squeal quietly with excitement. Howie couldn’t imagine a cuter picture as he gazed down on the small daughter of the woman that he loved. He had taken Lucy to Disney’s Animal Kingdom for the day. He had rented a driver and jeep for their own private tour of the safari, sparing no expense on their wonderful journey. So far, despite all the different types of animals they were able to view, Lucy had fallen in love with the zebras. Howie found his heart swell with adoration as Lucy offered the curious baby a carrot from their Safari Driver.

“He’s cute!” Lucy squealed as the baby zebra accepted the carrot and then pranced back to his mother with the treasure. Lucy’s teal eyes glittered in delight as she turned to Howie, immediately curling into his side on the seat. “I’m naming him…Stripy-D!”

“Stripy-D?” Howie cooed with laughter.

“Yes, sir!” she chirped.

“Why Stripy-D?” Howie asked curiously as the jeep revved to the next sight.

“Because your friends call you D and I like it!”

“Oh, well thanks, Sweet-Pea!” Howie chuckled, ruffling her curls.

“Do you call anyone else Sweet Pea?”

“Nope, only you.”

“Can that be my special name from you? Like how Mommy calls me Baby?”

“Of course, Sweet Pea.”

“Do you love my Mommy?” Lucy asked curiously as the jeep slowly stopped.

“Do you want me to love your Mommy?”

“Yeah, she needs loving,” Lucy giggled.

“Then, yes, I do love your Mommy, Sweet Pea.”

“Good!” Lucy giggled, peering out of the jeep in search of the next animal. She had expected to find an adorable animal that she could imagine cuddling, but was greeted by a ferocious male lion raising from sleep. His sharp white teeth protruded from his mouth as he stretched his back, his massive claws digging into the fresh dirt. The grumpy animal roared loudly with a threatening nature, causing Lucy to shriek in fear. She jumped backward and launched herself into Howie’s arms. “OOOOH, UGLY KITTY! HOWIE SAVE ME!”

“I got you, Sweet Pea,” Howie soothed with assurance, wrapping his arms around the jittery child as she struggled to climb him. He kissed her forehead before she quickly buried her face into his chest for protection. He rubbed her back, listening to her whimper wildly about Scar from the Lion King and how she could have been ate. Howie prepared to sing to calm her, but an incredible force attacked him with surprise. Without warning, an annoying pain erupted from his toes and shot up his legs with fiery vengeance. Howie hissed in surprise at the sheer pain, startling Lucy from his lap.

“Howie! Did Scar bite you?” Lucky shrieked.

“No… It’s okay, Sweet Pea,” Howie soothed yet again, dismissing the pain to tend to Lucy.

*~*~*

“Mommy! Look what Howie bought me!” Lucy squealed excitedly as Nicola entered Howie’s home. She launched her tiny body into her mother’s arms with a giant plush zebra attached. Nicola laughed softly as she kissed Lucy’s forehead, listening to the girl babble about her day. Nicola sat by Howie on the couch with her daughter in her arms, smiling at him as Lucy’s account winded down. The little girl giggled, “I named this zebra Stripy-D!”

“Stripy-D, huh? That’s adorable, Lovebug,” Nicola enthused.

“That’s not my only nickname now, Mommy!”

“What’s your other nickname, Lovebug?”

“Howie calls me Sweet Pea!”

“Does he?”

“Yep!” Lucy announced, hopping off her mother’s lap and hurrying to finish her movie.

“So, how are you?” Nicola purred when she heard the door to the movie room close, focusing her attention upon Howie. She leaned in to catch his lips in a passionate kiss. She had missed both Howie and Lucy like crazy today. She couldn’t imagine being parted from them for so long. She felt her cheeks blush crimson when she noticed his eyes glittered with joy as she ran her fingers through his short curls.

“Wonderful now that you’re here,” Howie murmured, kissing her again. The fire that had been licking his legs since the outing with Lucy seemed to dissipate from his mind with one breezy kiss. Nicola always had a way of making everything better. He didn’t care about the pain as long as Nicola was by his side.

“How was Lucy?” Nicola asked, cuddling up next to Howie. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. Nicola had somewhat of a quiet day with Hollie, lounging about the pool, sun tanning. Yet, as much as she had enjoyed spending time with Hollie, Nicola had longed even more to be with Howie and Lucy.

“She was an angel. She absolutely loved the zebras, but the lions scared her. She jumped into my lap for protection,” Howie chuckled, running his hand along Nicola’s bare shoulder.

“Awe, she thinks of you as her Prince Charming. You’re the only person she talks about with my family. She loves you a lot,” Nicola responded, glancing up at him with contentment. “Thank you so much for accepting both of us into your heart, Howie. Not many men would do that for a woman.”

“Well, you’re the queen of my heart, Nic. So, Lucy is automatically the princess of my heart.”

“You are too sweet sometimes,” Nicola laughed, kissing the tips of his fingers.

“Guess what I found out today?”

“What?”

“Lucy says that you love dolphins,” Howie recalled, concentrating on Nicola’s soft lips against his fingers. Nicola knew how to drive him insane with wanting. Just one touch would make him yearn for her. He loved her so much that sometimes he felt as if he couldn’t breathe when she wasn’t near.

“Did she tell you my secret?”

“Oh yes, she did.”

“And what are you planning to do with that information?”

“I’m going to take you and Lucy swimming with the dolphins?”

“You can do that?” Nicola asked with awe.

“Just for you and Lucy.”

“I would love that,” Nicola exclaimed, her eyes glittering like newly polished emerald gems.

“I knew you would,” Howie replied triumphantly.

“But it’ll have to wait.”

“Why?”

“Because Lucy and I have to go to Rosie’s birthday party tonight. Momma said you’re welcome to come, but there will be tons of over-sexed college girls ready to attack you, rip of your clothes, and torture you with mad passion—”

“Yikes, I think I’m all alone tonight,” Howie pouted.

“We’ll have a slumber party soon.”

“Promise?”

“Of course,” Nicola purred, slowly crawling onto Howie’s lap. His eyes widened with interest as Nicola’s sensual side took effect. She wrapped her arms around his neck, settling carefully into his lap. She leaned in, kissing him deeply. “I love you, Baby.”

“I love you, too,” Howie replied, kissing her back. Before the kiss ended, Nicola settled against Howie’s tender area. An intense fire zoomed up his spinal cord from his tingling legs, causing him to jerk. He broke the kiss quickly, wincing openly from the pain she had caused.

“What’s wrong?” Nicola immediately asked with worry, catching onto his sensation. Her eyes studied his face, praying he was okay.

“I’m just going to miss you tonight,” Howie lied.

“I’ll only be a phone call away, Baby.”

“I know…” Howie trailed, praying that the pain would just leave.

*~*~*

“Kev, honestly, I don’t know that much about Hollie! All I know is that she is Nicola’s best friend, an editor and writer, and completely psychotic,” Howie groaned as he struggled to get ready for bed with Kevin continually pestering him. Currently, Kevin was on the speakerphone with Howie consulting about Hollie. Usually, Howie would do his best to fill in the needed details, but his legs were cramping terribly, so he couldn’t concentrate.

“Does she have a boyfriend?” Kevin pressed, obviously not hearing the distress in Howie’s voice.

“I don’t think so—”

“Can you find out?”

“Yes—”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes—”

“And you’ll call me right after?”

“Yes, Kevin.”

“Great!”

“You’ve got it bad this time, Kev.”

“She seemed nice,” Kevin stated offhandedly.

“She is nice.”

“Make sure to call me.”

“Okay, bye, Kev,” Howie blurted, clicking off the phone before Kevin could start again. Howie shook his head in wonder, pulling off his tank top. He reached up to grasp the bar above his bed to pull himself up, but the pains attacked with greater force than previous times. Searing hot pain exploded from his legs, eating his spinal cord with vicious harassment. Howie fell backward in agony, toppling out of his wheelchair and clattering to the floor with his nightstand on top of him. He wheezed as the window knocked free from his lungs, stunning him. Tears of agony rolled down his hot cheeks as he struggled to locate his phone. He needed help.

“Nicola?” he wheezed loudly.

“Baby?” Nicola shouted into her phone over the blaring music.

“I need help.”

“What’s wrong?”

“My legs,” he sobbed. “They’re on fire. It hurts so bad, Nic… I fell to the floor. I need help.”

“On fire?” she asked with puzzlement.

“Yes, it hurts so bad!”

“Hold on for five minutes, Baby.”

Chapter 35 – God’s Gift

Nicola yawned loudly as she shifted in the hard plastic chair, trying to accustom her body to the odd position she was forced to sit in. She glanced to see Lucy sleeping peacefully on two chairs pushed together before gazing at her watch. Now, she had been waiting in the Emergency Room for several hours and still had no word on Howie’s condition. She pondered the recent events when she had taken Howie immediately to the Emergency Room after finding him on the floor, but now she could only wait. She was voided of all emotions while sitting amongst various clusters of families. She hated the numbness, but she didn’t know what else to expect. Howie’s signs and symptoms perplexed her. She had never seen a patient in such a state. She didn’t know whether to fear or rejoice in what a possible outcome could hinge on.

“Nic?” AJ called, rushing forward as her thoughts shattered around her. Nicola had called everyone in Howie’s immediate circle, alerting them as to what had occurred in Howie’s home. She assured them that it was probably nothing, so they could just stay at home. There was no sense in having a large group of people waiting in the cramped waiting room. The worrying would just make them sick. To defer any possibilities of them feeling unneeded guilt, she then promised to call as soon as she was aware of anything new.

“AJ!”

“The one and only!” he answered, holding his arms out.

“What are you doing here?” Nicola exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. She kissed his cheek affectionately, ignoring the urge to scorn him for disobeying her decision. “You really didn’t have to come!”

“I know, but I figured you could at least use some company, since Sweetheart over there is dreaming sweet dreams,” AJ chuckled, nodding toward the slumbering child.

“That’s extremely sweet of you.”

“Could you tell Jamila? She likes to hear those kind of good reports.”

Nicola laughed softly, “Okay, AJ. I’ll fax her one.”

AJ took his seat by Nicola, instinctively pulling her hand into his own. He ran his thumb against her hand as if to soothe him and her. His posture stiffened dramatically as he grew somber, reminding himself as to why he was sitting in the waiting room with Howie’s girlfriend. “I know you called all of us saying that it was fine, because you didn’t want us all rushing down to the ER to worry. But, level with me, Nicola. What’s happening to him?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. He said he was having burning pains in his legs, which is rare with paraplegics. I’ve never encountered it in any of the patients I’ve seen. So, I can’t really confide a concrete answer, which I know is what you want.”

“So, we’re all in the dark?”

“For the time being, yes.”

AJ nodded thoughtfully while speaking, “Thanks for the honesty.”

“You’re welcome to say the least.”

“You must love him a lot,” AJ suddenly murmured, still holding onto her hand. His voice was light and clogged, obvious that he was holding back tears. His eyes were cloudy with worry for his dear friend.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because, it’s midnight and here you sit. He’s been in there for hours as you sit in these God-awful chairs with your daughter sleeping at your side. You could have made his parents haul ass out here so you could go home, but you wanted them to rest. That is true love, Nic.”

“So, is this your oddball way of telling me that I have your approval?”

“You always did.”

“And Lucy has your approval?”

“I love that kid with all my heart. She is the cutest and sweetest thing in this world, Nic. Howie’s changed so much because of you two and it’s all for the better. He raves about her like she’s his own daughter. He loves her more than life itself. There’s no way that I couldn’t accept Lucy into the family. She is definitely a golden beam from Heaven!”

“I always knew I liked you the best,” Nicola teased.

“Thanks,” AJ laughed, kissing her cheek.

“Ms. Tilley?!” a voice interrupted from the hallway, causing the two to jump with surprise

“Yes?” Nicola blurted, standing up.

“Mr. Dorough would like you in the room.”

“I’ll watch the munchkin,” AJ promised.

“Thank you!” Nicola breathed, standing up.

“Your welcome, now go see our champ!”

*~*~*

“Doctor, you’re killing me!” Howie grunted as Nicola stepped hesitantly into the examining room. She looked to see the doctor bent over Howie’s bare legs with a blanket shielding Howie’s view of his lower half. Nicola craned her neck as her breath caught, her brain processing the scene with a fevered speed. The doctor seemed to ignore Nicola’s presence for the moment, more intent on poking Howie with a thin needle in several places along his legs. Nicola was flabbergasted when Howie cried loudly, “Damn! That hurts!”

“You felt that?” Nicola blurted, unable to control her outburst.

“That’s what I said, Ms. Tilley!” the doctor laughed, turning toward her. He offered her a seat next to Howie’s bedside, which she took immediately. Her hands were trembling as she reached to grasp Howie’s hands, squeezing tightly. “This man is very lucky indeed! His first prognosis was nothing to cheer about, but now, it’s just too amazing. I did several tests, MRIs, CT Scans, Bone Scans, and the results are the same. The nerves’ swelling has decreased and somehow shifted so that nothing is being pinched. His back healed perfectly with the surgery and he’s feeling sensations in his legs.”

“You’re kidding!” Nicola squealed.

“No, I’m not. He can feel the pricks of the needle and distinguish between different sensations. It will only be a matter of time before he regains full use of his legs. He may not be able to move them now, but it will come to him. He will indeed be walking again with the proper physical therapy. First walking, then dancing, the man will be unstoppable.”

“Thank God!” Howie praised.

“I’ll get him on a different physical therapy plan right away,” Nicola promised.

“I’m going to prescribe some mild analgesics for pain relief, so hold on just a moment.”

Nicola waited until the doctor was gone before she wrapped her arms tightly around Howie. She kissed him repeatedly with raw passion, running her hands along his shoulders. She kissed him several more times before finding the proper words in her deliriously ecstatic mind. “You! That’s so wonderful, Baby! Walking again! Honey, that’s unbelievable! You must be so happy! Your parents and family will flip. I mean, I’m even speechless!”

“I know,” Howie laughed, giddy with pride. He ran his fingers through her unruly curls, bringing her lips to his own again. “You made this possible. You never gave up on me, even in the beginning. You told me that I needed to keep my body in shape just in case. Now it’s really tangible. I’m going to be able to walk because of all the support you gave. I love you so much, Nic.”

“I love you, too.”

“Want to see the best part, though?” Howie asked shyly.

“What would the best part be?” Nicola countered with a laugh.

Howie pointed to his legs and wiggled his toes

Chapter 36 – Sleeping Hearts

It was a little after four in the morning when Nicola managed to help Howie into his home. Howie had called everyone with the good news in the car. The joyous shrieks still rang in Howie and Nicola’s ears. Each promised to venture over later in the evening for celebrations. Howie had to fight for almost ten minutes before his mother would agree to go back to bed. Thankfully, for the time being, Howie would be able to rest, yet he only wanted to celebrate with Nicola. The night was young in Howie’s mind, because he was given a new lease in life. God was giving him the chance to walk again and fulfill his desires and Nicola’s desires.

“Nic, you can take Lucy into the guess room,” Howie suggested softly as he followed Nicola in the living room. Nicola glanced down at her child as Howie spoke. The sleeping Lucy lay curled in her mother’s arms, completely oblivious to the movement. She had fallen asleep yet again on AJ before Howie was discharged. The child was exhausted from the late night running.

“I should really take Lucy home, it’s late,” Nicola objected, shifting the child’s weight in her arms.

“You are home.”

“Howie–”

“Spend the night with me.”

“Howie—”

“I love you, so please?” Howie begged.

“Which guest room?” Nicola relented, knowing she couldn’t resist his soft eyes.

“Upstairs, second room to the left,” Howie answered, watching Nicola’s retreating form. He smiled approvingly, shifting his body to the couch. He crossed his arms and placed them behind his head for comfort. He could feel the soft pressure of his feet against the thick carpet as he leaned back on the soft couch. He could feel again, although it would be several weeks until he walked again. But the point was that he would eventually walk. He vowed he would take his first steps to burn the wheelchair.

“You look almost giddy,” Nicola teased lightly as she curled herself next to Howie on the couch after returning from upstairs. He immediately wrapped his arms around her as she leaned against him, listening to his heartbeat in the dim lighting of the living room. Only the moonlight from outside provided the dim shadows. She was absolutely content with him holding her. She had missed being close to someone since her husband had died. She wanted companionship and love – Howie always gave her both.

“I think I am giddy,” Howie confided with a silly smile.

“With the proper physical therapy, you’ll be walking soon.”

“With you always by my side.”

“You still want me here?” Nicola asked in obvious surprise. She had almost believed they would go separate ways once he was healed. She was no super model, actress, or singer. What made her think she could actually compete with those?

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m—”

“Perfect, yes, you are.” He wouldn’t let her make awful blows against her own self-esteem.

“Howie—”

“I love you,” he repeated, kissing her softly. He really loved her and would do anything to make sure she was safe, loved, and comfortable with him. He brought his hands through her golden curls, pulling her closer. “Let me show you.”

“How?” she whispered against his lips.

“Let me make love to you.”

*~*~*

“We’ll make Mommy some cereal and orange juice!” Lucy announced happily as she crawled into Howie’s lap. She squealed in surprise as Howie managed to perform a wheelie in the wheelchair. Lucy clapped her hands eagerly as they raced into the kitchen. She and Howie were the only ones up, so Lucy wanted to make Nicola breakfast. Howie thought it was a sweet idea, quickly agreeing that Nicola deserved to be pampered.

“Together in a bowl?” Howie teased, making a face.

“No, Howie!” Lucy groaned, “Orange juice to drink! Not eat!”

“Oh, okay, I’ll get the bowls, milk, and juice. You pick out the cereal, spoons, and cups. Okay?” Howie planned, kissing her cheek.

“Deal,” Lucy chirped, scrambling out of his lap.

Howie smiled as he went to gather his supplies. His mood just kept rising as the minutes passed. The love making last night had been absolutely pleasurable. So wonderful that Howie thought it might be a sin to love a woman so much. Yet, he didn’t care. Everything just felt so right, especially helping Lucy with breakfast.

“Golden Grams, Mommy’s favorite!” Lucy announced, setting the box on the kitchen table.

“Mommy’s favorite or yours?” Howie laughed.

“Um…both?”

“Okay, Sweet-Pea.”

“Can I pour the cereal?”

“Sure,” Howie agreed, setting up three bowls. He then opened the box and handed it to Lucy. She shrieked in glee, scrambling up onto a nearby chair to reach the bowls.

“Howie?” Lucy chirped as she diligently poured a favored amount of cereal into each bowl. She patted down the cereal, judging to make sure each bowl had the same amount. She stopped for a moment, making sure she had his attention. Howie offered a tender smile, ruffling her curls.

“What Sweet-Pea?”

“Are you going to be my new Daddy? Because Aunt Hollie says that Mommy loves you bunches. And when Mommies and Daddies bunches they get married. Then they have babies, but Mommy has me… So are you going to be my Daddy?”

Howie was absolutely floored with the question. Lucy was wise beyond her years and never ceased to amaze Howie. He leaned forward to scoop Lucy into his arms, deciding what he would say. The little girl squealed in surprise as she faced him with curiosity. “Do you want me to be your Daddy, Sweet-Pea?”

“Duh, you’re fun!” she chirped.

“Then I want to tell you that I want you to be my baby.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Sweet-Pea.”

“So, you’re my Daddy?”

“Now and forever!” Howie promised, delivering playful kisses.

Chapter 37 – Offering His All

Nicola yawned softly as she trudged down into the kitchen, inhaling the faint scent of Howie’s lingering cologne. She loved the way his house smelled. It had a way of lulling her into a peaceful state, but she couldn’t believe Howie had let her sleep so late. Images of terror swept through her mind, knowing that Lucy always rose early to eagerly greet the new day. It wasn’t that the child was a terrible misfit, but she was very energetic and passionate about life. Lucy could easily tire a triathlon racer and it made Nicola nervous to think that Howie had put himself up to the task. She planned to scold him for his obvious crazy notion, but was greeted by the sweetest image that caused all agitation to melt. Her daughter and Howie were sitting at the kitchen table, playfully interacting with one another. Their bowls of cereal and juice remained untouched. Obviously, the two were waiting to eat with Nicola.

“Morning, Mommy!” Lucy chirped, immediately wiggling down from her seat when Nicola appeared. She launched her body into Nicola’s arms, delivering the traditional morning kisses. No matter how much Lucy grew; she would always want her mother’s tender kisses. “Daddy and I made breakfast for you!”

“Well, thank you, Baby–ah–what?” Nicola choked with surprise.

“I said I made breakfast with Daddy,” Lucy answered with a weary sigh pushing on her cheeks with her small hands as if her mother had asked the question dozens of times.

“Daddy?”

“Yes!”

Nicola shot Howie a bewildered look, oblivious to the true meaning. Howie offered a gentle smile, motioning toward the living room. Nicola shrugged helplessly as Lucy hopped down from her arms. Lucy began to hum a tune from Beauty and the Beast as she crawled back into her kitchen seat, looking at the couple expectantly. “Lucy, I need to talk to your Mommy for a minute. You start eating, okay?” Howie offered.

“Okay!” Lucy agreed, diving into the cereal with an eager grin.

“I am so sorry she called you Daddy, Howie. I have no idea where she got that thought from. In all honesty, I have never even said that to her… Oh, jezz, Howie, I promise I’ll talk to her, okay? Don’t be mad at her? She wasn’t even born when he died… She’s just so little and sometimes she wishes so hard for things… She’s so passionate about… She’s never had a father and now that we’re… I promise that I’ll straighten everything,” Nicola blurted without hesitation as soon as they entered the privacy of the living room.

“Woah, Honey, calm down! I told her she could call me Daddy,” Howie chuckled, watching Nicola’s nose crinkle with confusion. Nicola and Lucy shared the cutest tendencies and facial expressions. Howie looked forward to every day just to see what quirky combination would be presented through mother and daughter.

“You told her to?”

“She asked if I was going to be her new Daddy. That girl is so smart, Nic! She’s right on top of everything. Anyway, I said I’d like to be her Daddy and I really mean that. Just like you said, she’s never had a father. She needs that father figure. Danny’s a great kid, but she needs more than just an uncle. I love her to death and I want to be her Daddy. I hope it’s alright with you, Honey, because I love the idea of her calling my Daddy. It makes me feel like a permanent part of your family.”

“First off, you’ll always have a permanent part in our family. You don’t have to feel obligated to take on the role of Lucy’s father just to remain—”

“Nic, I want to be her father,” Howie stressed.

“You want to be her father?” Nicola breathed in amazement, wilting onto the couch. Her legs felt rubbery. She couldn’t believe how well God had provided for her prayers about finding a love for both her and Lucy. It was as if God had crafted Howie just for Nicola and Lucy.

“Why wouldn’t I want to be? She’s a great kid who deserves a father. I know that when the time comes, I’ll have to share the role with the ghost of her real father, but I don’t care about that. I want both of you in my life. I really want this love to work and I want to take another step toward both of you.”

“Are you sure you’re not hiding a Hallmark card under the table?”

“No, all from the heart,” Howie honestly vowed.

“That’s a relief, because it was absolutely beautiful.”

“Beautiful? So you approve?”

“Of course I approve. I love you and I’m thrilled that you and Lucy love each other, too. I prayed so hard to God that He would give me a man that would love Lucy as well as me. God delivered me with a wonderful man that wants to be her father. I couldn’t be more approving of the situation! Although, on the risk of sounding overly gushy, I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“I love you,” Howie cooed with a laugh, hoisting himself on the couch to kiss Nicola.

“I love you, too,” Nicola countered, eagerly accepting the kiss.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Lucy cried suddenly, running into the living room. She frowned at the image, quickly squeezing in between the couple’s embrace. “No finishing breakfast without you two! My bowl’s almost gone!”

“Sorry, Sweetie, but we have to get ready to see Aunt Decker. Mommy has to engorge Aunt Decker with pounds of chocolate so she’ll switch around her schedule to watch you tomorrow,” Nicola soothed.

“Tomorrow?” Howie questioned.

“I have a long meeting with Jacobs. My top babysitters are grounded, Momma’s working, Danny’s working, and Rosie’s on vacation. Hollie’s my last hope.”

“I can watch her,” Howie offered.

“No, that’s—”

“Please?”

“Hollie loves watching the brat—”

“I’m not a brat!” Lucy growled.

“Okay, okay, Hollie loves watching the monster—”

“Mommy!”

“Okay! Hollie loves watching the princess—”

“She’s my daughter!” Howie interrupted instead of Lucy.

“Yeah!” Lucy cried as if an idea had sparked in her mind. “Le’me play with Daddy!”

Nicola groaned with aggravation, realizing that this situation was spiraling downhill drastically. She couldn’t resist both her lover and child. It was impossible. Nicola rubbed her temples, trying to think. She was silent for a moment before glancing at the pitiful pair. “Fine, you can stay tomorrow and play with Daddy if you help Mommy work Daddy’s legs in the pool.”

“Help Mommy treat the ouchies? Okay! C’mon Daddy!”

“Physical therapy?” Howie groaned with disappointment.

“You love me so don’t whine!” Nicola mimic with a groan.

*~*~*

“Howie seems like Mr. Wonderful,” Hollie sighed dreamily as she floated around in Nicola’s pool with a large inflatable raft. She had arrived when Lucy and Nicola returned from Howie’s home. She planned to spend the night for her own entertainment, knowing that Nicola would never disagree. “Does God still have his mold? So I can build my own dream lover?”

“No, but his friend Kevin is really sweet,” Nicola interjected playfully as she watched Lucy zip around the side of the pool with her inflated swimmers.

“Mr. Bug-Eyed-One-Hit-Wonder?” Hollie snorted.

“Oh please, Hollie. You know you think he’s good-looking,” Nicola groaned as Lucy crawled onto her shoulders. Nicola yelped in surprise as Lucy pushed off her shoulders, leaping into the water. The child was obviously bored with the current conversation and wanted attention. Lucy grinned impishly as she surfaced, wiping away the slick curls from her face. Nicola refused to let the child change the subject. Knowing exactly what Hollie would respond with, Nicola wanted to assure that Kevin still had a solid chance. “Don’t you dare play that frog card on me, because Kevin is definitely a prince.”

“Oh, really? Good looking, huh?” Hollie laughed, sitting up on her raft. She stared at her friend quizzically, knowing her plan had been furled. “Did you kiss him and make him turn into my prince?”

“Aunt Decker! Mommy only kisses Daddy!” Lucy chided, swimming toward her mother.

“DADDY?!” Hollie shot toward Nicola.

“Howie and Lucy were up this morning talking. Seems some air-headed aunt told her that Howie would be her new Daddy—”

“Damn that air-headed Rosie!” Hollie interrupted with a guilty smirk.

“Yeah, okay. So, anyway, she asked Howie if he was going to be her new Daddy. He told her yes and said she deserves to have a father and he wants to be the man,” Nicola explained as Lucy floated around the pool on her back, perfectly content amongst the two women.

“He wants to be her father?” Hollie squealed, almost toppling out of her raft.

“Yeah, wild, huh? Momma almost died when I told her.”

“You guys are super-serious, huh?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“You’ll have a ring on your finger soon!”

“Hollie, don’t jinx me!” Nicola growled with an intense blush creeping to her tan cheeks. Everything had been going so well between Howie and her. No large potholes were found on the road they were traveling. She hoped that maybe Howie would propose to her with time, but she was willing to wait. Howie was definitely worth the wait.

“He’s probably waiting till he can walk again, so he could get on one knee to propose! I bet he’s one of those traditional classy guys. He wants everything perfect for the perfect occasion. He’ll take you out for dinner with champagne. Wine and dine, then gracefully fall to his knee. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t buy a pillow to kneel on for the event! Really charming fairy tale kind of prince,” Hollie rambled dreamily.

“Can I be the flower princess?” Lucy quipped excitedly.

“That’s flower girl, Lovebug,” Nicola corrected, kissing her daughter’s wet curls. She rolled her eyes as Hollie shrugged innocently; obviously knowing she had sparked Lucy’s imagination. “Before Howie and I run to Las Vegas to elope, can you do me a favor?”

“Howie would never—”

“Hollie!”

“What?”

“Can you drop Lucy at Howie’s house tomorrow morning? I have to meet Jacobs’ for an early meeting. I won’t have time to get there and drop her off.”

“Sure, can I talk to Howie?”

“If you don’t brainwash him into marriage.”

“He might—”

“Hollie!”

“Fine, no marriage for the homely shrew! Jezz!”

“Thank you!”

“But, if he should happen to mention any trigger words like ring, dress, cake, tux, church, bliss, love, lace, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, or the word white… I cannot be held responsible.”

“What the…”

“Just say you love me.”

“I love you?” Nicola murmured with obvious confusion.

“Deal!” Hollie laughed.

Chapter 38 - Another Link

Hollie yawned softly as she walked up to Howie’s large home while balancing Lucy on her hip. Nicola had left the house at six in the morning, startling Lucy from a restful sleep. The child cried for her mother till she finally decided to crawl into Hollie’s bed and drifted into another state of slumber. Now, the child was eager to spend the day with Howie as she bounced against Hollie’s hip, jarring Hollie from her dazed state. Yet as energetic as Lucy became in the morning daylight, Hollie couldn’t get mad because she found it utterly adorable.

“Knock on the door, Lucy,” Hollie suggested, helping Lucy down onto the front porch. The little girl beamed, jumping up to poke the doorknob repeatedly with her Band-Aid clad index finger. Hollie chuckled as Lucy pulled on her pigtail braids, waiting impatiently after she decided that her impatient jabbing of the doorbell was fruitless. Hollie had yet to see Lucy so excited over a person that wasn’t her mother. She had even taken special care to make sure Hollie dressed her appropriately. She refused to leave her very bedroom until her hair was split into tight pigtail braids, crisp jean overall shorts, and a light yellow tank top with butterflies. The girl was adorable.

“Hey, Lucy!” a low voice greeted, startling Hollie from her thoughts. She glanced up to connect with Kevin’s jade eyes. It was a man that she hadn’t even considered she’d ever see again, even if he were in her dreams. Yet, there he stood in front of her, shadowing the doorway. Her heart jumped to her throat as a cool sweat broke onto her tan skin. She started to fidget with her purse, feeling lost as her temperature rose. “Howie’s in the living room setting up Beauty and the Beast for you, darling. Go get him!”

“Okay! Thanks for dropping me off Aunt Decker!” Lucy giggled, dashing into the house without a second thought.

“Hey!” Kevin blurted as Hollie turned to walk down the steps. She hesitated, turning toward him with surprise. “I thought Nicola—”

“She had an early appointment,” Hollie interjected, feeling awkward.

“Oh, well would you like to come in?” Kevin offered, not wanting her to leave. She had been imprinted in his skull for many sleepless nights. He hardly knew the woman and she was already his leading addiction. Songs had even been written with her as the muse.

“I really should be going—”

“Hollie, thanks for bringing Lucy,” Howie interrupted, wheeling out amongst the unspoken attraction with Lucy perched on his lap. He smiled gratefully before glancing between the two adults. He did his best to hide a smirk by kissing the top of Lucy’s head, not wanting to extinguish the flame.

“You’re welcome,” Hollie replied. “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to speak with you that much, though. I’m under a strict contract with my best friend.”

“Contract?” Howie asked with surprise.

“Yes, written and signed with blood. My lancing of free food, equities, utilities, and sleeping arrangements depends on my silence.”

“Have you met Kevin?” Howie blurted, unable to develop a comment on her last statement.

“Briefly,” Hollie murmured.

“Oh, Kevin, this is Hollie. She’s Nicola’s best friend. Hollie, this is my good friend, Kevin,” Howie introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Hollie politely greeted with a civil smile, feeling her knees tremble beneath his burning gaze.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Kevin rasped, sending tingles down her spine.

“I would love to stay, but I really have to go. Nicola will get suspicious of my doings if I stay long. She has this idea that I’m a spy lurking to ruin her. A few minor episodes of bidding her bras off to the football team in high school and she still hasn’t forgiven me,” Hollie teased with her blue eyes glimmer, making the boys unsure of the tale’s authenticity. She had hoped to dissuade the conversation, covering the embarrassment over her sexual tension. “I have some things to do. Deadlines to make. Articles to write…”

“Well, thank you again for bringing her,” Howie called, watching her start to descend the steps instead of taking the ramp.

“No problem. By, Monster!” Hollie cooed, fishing for her keys.

“Bye Aunt Witch!”

“Ooo, good one!” Hollie laughed, flipping her short blonde locks behind her ears. She felt her cheeks burn as she tilted her head down, pushing her glasses up against the bridge of her nose. She tried to hurry to her car, only able to picture Kevin’s smoldering eyes. Even with her back turned, he seemed to call to her, like a male siren in the depths of his jaded eyes.

“Hollie! Wait!” Kevin blurted, hurrying down the steps. Howie smothered a laugh as he watched his lumbering friend stumble down the steps in hopes to keep the girl from leaving. Kevin shot a frosty glare before reaching out to slam Hollie’s car door as she tried to open it. “I’d like to meet up with you if that’s alright! We seem to mesh well from my standpoint. I’d like to know you better.”

Hollie offered a sly smile, deciding to play her hard-to-get card. It gave her a good percentage of consecutive dates. She jerked the car door open, reaching in for a pen. She chewed on the tip of the pen for a short moment, watching Kevin’s jaw fall with heat. “Give me your digits and I’ll consider the proposal.”

*~*~*

“So, what are we doing t’day, Daddy?” Lucy asked curiously as the Disney Movie’s credits began to roll. They had spent the morning lounging in Howie’s oversized bed, flipping through various childhood movies. They cuddled beneath the warm covers like a true father and daughter, completely content. Most children would be anxious to squirm away to cause mischief, but not Lucy. She was too affectionate to wiggle away from a cuddle.

Howie chuckled softly as Lucy jumped off the bed to replace the DVD in its container. He slowly stretched his legs beneath the thick covers, still amazed at the miracle. Physical therapy was performed every day to loosen the joints and ready his body. Howie was merely waiting for his leg strength to return for the performance of his first steps. Then he could plan his next big adventure with Nicola by his side.

“Daddy!” Lucy called, jumping back into the bed.

“Sorry,” Howie murmured, running his fingers through her flaxen locks. Nicola was always reminding Howie that Lucy loved attention. “What would you like to do?”

“Swim?”

“Okay, but we swim every day with Mommy. What else?”

“Um…watch movies?”

“Sweet Pea, how about we call Aunt Polly to go shopping with us? We’ll buy you some toys for Daddy’s house, along with pretty dresses, and then some gifts for Mommy.”

“Really?” Lucy squealed.

“Yes, m’am. I’ll spoil you rotten today.”

“I love to be spoiled rotten!”

“Yeah, me, too,” Howie laughed.

“Can we go now?”

“We have to call Aunt Polly first.”

“I will!” Lucy squealed, jumping off the bed to retrieve the phone.

“Can I at least help?”

“Yeah, t’mon, Daddy!”

“T’oming!” Howie teased.

*~*~*

“She is the cutest thing, Howie. Mom and Pop almost died when she answered the phone. They tell everyone about your perfect girlfriend, her perfect daughter, and how she’s helping you walk again,” Pollyanna gushed as she watched Lucy play quietly with her new My Little Ponies. They were in the guest room Howie designated for Lucy, folding the child’s new clothes and placing them neatly into the dresser drawers.

“She’s absolutely adorable,” Howie agreed.

“Do you know how excited Mom was to find out Lucy called you Daddy?”

“Pretty excited?”

“That’s an understatement! She’s so proud of you, Howie. Absolutely thrilled with Nic and Lucy. Then your legs healing… Just nothing but a miracle.”

“I know,” Howie agreed. “Do you know what I want to do?”

“What?”

“Hire an interior designer to fix this room into Lucy’s little hideaway. She needs a room of her own in this house. She’d love it if I made sure they decorated with Disney Princesses. Nic would love it, too,” Howie confided, glancing around the room. He wanted Lucy to feel like this was her second home. He knew this would be the perfect room for her. Every time the boys came over, they fought over this room. It was the nicest and it was the closest to the luxury master bedroom.

“Lucy’s own room, huh?”

“Yeah, is that bad?”

“No!” Pollyanna laughed, pushing her younger brother’s shoulder. “It’s just cute to know that things are so serious between you and Nicola. We worried that you’d marry Darcy and be miserable. But now you have a chance to be happy with Nicola. And Lucy gives you that feel for wanting your own kids, right?”

“Yeah…” Howie answered with a goofy smile.

“This is so cute, Howie!”

“Okay, Polly, you told me!”

Pollyanna scowled playfully. “You know, I love you so much that I’m going to make dinner for Lucy, Nicola, and you.”

“Awe, thanks big sis!”

“You’re welcome, but this is the last one. You’re going to have to get on your legs soon to cook for your dream-girl.”

“I will sooner than you think,” Howie replied coyly.

Chapter 39 – Indecent Proposal

Nicola tapped her foot nervously as she waited in Dr. Jacobs’ office in the back of the physical therapy clinic. She never enjoyed meeting with him privately. His lustful eyes tearing through her clothing for sexually stimulating images made her uncomfortable. Nicola hoped to combat the sexual tension by choosing unappealing clothing, but Dr. Jacobs could allow his mind to freely wander even with the worst choices. So, Nicola now focused on keeping her distance and making it a short meeting. The sooner she was free, the faster she could return to her safe haven with Howie and Lucy.

“Nicola Tilley! It’s been forever since I’ve seen my best and favorite therapist!” Dr. Jacobs called loudly, entering his lush office as if he were a king. He leaned over to embrace Nicola, brushing his hands below her hips. Nicola tensed and immediately pulled away. Dr. Jacobs merely smirked with pride, passionately overlooking her wardrobe.

“I called and sent reports every day I wasn’t at the office,” Nicola objected, shifting uncomfortably as she pushed the fallen curls behind her ears. She realized her clothing choice of snug black flared pants and a lavender button down with a white tank top underneath was a bad decision from the beginning. His eyes explained that she feared. She folded her hands against her chest for protection, trying to deflect his eager stares.

“You know what I mean,” he replied fleetingly. “So how’s our golden boy?”

“Mr. Dorough is making remarkable progress. He’s close to standing and using crutches. I don’t know where he would be without his optimistic attitude, however. Frankly, he’s amazing.”

“How’d that come about?”

“I can’t explain it myself. It’s a true miracle, Jacobs.”

“Grand,” Dr. Jacobs replied sarcastically, leaning against his desk in front of her.

“But it is…” she trailed with a sigh, devastated by the lack of interest. Dr. Jacobs cared for nothing but himself. The only reason he took any minor amount of interest in Howie was because of the expensive payment plan for care Howie was fueling. Nicola quickly grew tired of his lack of compassion and spoke crisply, “Jacobs, why did you really call me in? It’s obvious you don’t are about his progress as long as he is paying the bills, so, what is it?”

Dr. Jacobs laughed loudly, “I always loved how you made a point to cut the bullshit in the beginning!”

“Thank you for that…I don’t even know what to call it exactly. So, forget it. Now, what is it that you need to speak to me about? No other physical therapy gets these special meetings,” Nicola answered, trying her best not to roll her eyes with annoyance.

“I want to offer you a huge promotion, Nicola. A promotion that will give you tremendous wealth and power. A promotion that will make you closer to sharing the profits of leading the clinic,” Dr. Jacobs murmured, striding slowly toward Nicola with a steaming desire smoldering against his eyes.

“You mean a partner?” Nicola asked, stepping back every time he advanced.

“A special partner,” he growled.

“What?” she yelped, hitting her back against the far wall.

“You can have all the glory and riches if you do one thing,” Dr. Jacobs whispered erotically against her ear, tracing his fingers down the length of her lithe body. He seemed content as he leaned against the wall, his one arm braced above her and his other arm against her. “Sleep with me.”

His words sank heavily against her soul, causing her body systems to heighten with regret. Her heart seemed to plummet into her stomach as her body cringed with disgust. Her skin crawled at the mere brush of his fingertips. She immediately pulled his hand away from her soft skin as her brain screamed warnings to the rest of her body. Her emerald eyes burned with hatred. “No,” she replied forcefully, her strawberry blonde curls falling against her eyes.

“No?”

“No,” she repeated, trying to side step his lumbering, but he countered quickly to block the door.

“No? Awe, Baby, I love role-playing. I’ll let you dominate for awhile,” he laughed, running his fingers against her hip, allowing his hand to slip beneath the fabric. “You are so beautiful. I dream about having you in bed every night. Every time I see you, I swear I get instantly hard. I’m going to tear your insides out and you’ll be screaming for me inside you every night. This is going to be the best partner relationship I ever scored!”

Nicola gagged as he shoved his tongue deep into her throat, struggling to push him backward. Dr. Jacobs’ eyes went wide with surprise as he stumbled from the power. Nicola didn’t care about his needs as she yanked her shirt down with disgust and choked on his spit. She couldn’t imagine that the man could be so delusional to think that she was acting. “I’m not your whore, Jacobs, so don’t touch me,” she snarled, feeling the need to stand her ground with tremendous force.

Dr. Jacobs grunted, realizing she would be harder than he had anticipated. He quickly strode forward, forcefully pinning her against the wall with her hands dangling above her body. His fingers dug deep into her flesh as his hot breath clung to her skin like a foul odor. “On the contrary, Nicola, you are my whore. You’re going to do what I want, when I want. If I tell you to strip down to your bare flesh, shove a dildo in your ass, and suck my dick; you better ask how fast, how deep and how hard. Do you understand me?”

“No, I don’t understand you. Now get off me, Doctor,” she growled. “You don’t own me.”

“Nicola,” he laughed heartily. “Wake up and realize your situation, wench. I hold your job in my hands. I can fire you any time I want just for the Hell of it. Then how are you going to take care of Lucy? Your wonderfully crippled husband buried himself long ago, so I doubt he can support you. Your mother can’t provide for you, Lucy, your brother, and your sister at the same time, either. So, you have no income if I snap my fingers, and you can’t support your baby girl. They’ll take her away in a heartbeat, Nicola. Don’t force me to do something drastic, or you’ll have to work the streets and take to the slums. You mine as well drop your panties for me instead, at least I’m clean.”

“You son of—”

“I love your fire,” Dr. Jacobs murmured excitedly, running his lips along her neck as his fingers slipped beneath her shirt yet again. “So be a good girl, take off your clothes, get on my desk, and I’ll fuck your brains out for a position most would die to have in this clinic.”

“You’re blackmailing—”

“Yes, fuck me hard or your fucking fired.”

“I choose option three,” she murmured softly.

“There is no option three—”

“Oh, yes, there is,” she countered.

“Enlighten me.”

“I QUIT!” Nicola grunted, driving her knee deep into his groin with as much power as she could muster. Dr. Jacobs gave a high-pitched yelp, toppling onto the floor like a heavy weight. Nicola stepped over him, glaring down at the obviously pained man. She resisted the urge to kick him as she scoffed, “You are a royal jackass. I hope you choke on your own semen and die. I’m not your whore and I never will be your whore. Just because you think you have power over me doesn’t give you the right to demand sexual favors. You don’t hold my life in your hands you inconsiderate prick. I’d rather work minimum wage to make the ends meet than let you touch me with your filthy hands. So, take your position and shove it deep and hard into your ass, because, like I said, I quit!”

Chapter 40 ~ Soft Tears

Nicola dreaded her entrance into the Dorough household, because she feared the worst. Howie and Lucy could read her like their favorite books. It was impossible to hide anything from her family when her appearance clearly screamed suffering. Her long brassy braid was already starting to unravel at the end and travel upward as she continually tugged upon it nervously. Her eyelids were pink and puffy with unshed tears, clashing against her colorless face. Her stomach knotted with worry and gurgled with distress, knowing her and Lucy’s futures were at stake because of her foolish mouth. The clinic was the best source of income within the entire city, but no longer tangible for profits in Nicola’s life. She knew she would have to scramble for another steady job for most likely half the pay. However, deep in her heart, she didn’t want to care about the scramble for funds. She just wanted to fade from reality. She felt the need to collapse into the darkest depths of her unconscious mind in hopes to forget the pain.

“Baby! How was the meeting?” Howie called excitedly, shattering Nicola’s mental Armageddon. He offered a sweet smile, beckoning her to the couch. He was obviously thrilled about her early return, but clueless as to the events inside her toiling heart. “Sweet Pea is still napping, so we have some alone time. Lucky us, huh?”

“Napping?” Nicola asked with amazement, pushing away her malicious thoughts. She carefully tugged on her top as she sat down on the couch, immediately tugging upon her braid again.

“We have an honor system,” Howie explained with a laugh. “We make promises to one another… Exchanges if you will… You see, I sang her Beauty and the Beast in exchange for a nap.”

“One of her favorites,” Nicola approved with a small laugh.

“I watched the movie over five times today. I think I came to that conclusion quite easily.”

“Oh really?”

“Would you like to know that her madness has taken another step?”

“How so?”

“She wants us to play Belle and the Prince when she wakes up.”

“I’d love to,” Nicola agreed without hesitation, wanting to enjoy the simple pleasure of fantasy.

“So, now that you know everything about our day… How was the meeting?” Howie asked, restating the obvious question that Nicola had tried so desperately to avoid. He offered a caring smile, intertwining their fingers as he blew a kiss upon the back of her hand. He seemed so content compared to Nicola’s obvious devastation, yet he seemed none the wiser.

“Eventful,” Nicola trailed, not wanting Howie to worry about the minor details. Sexual assault was considered a punishable crime within Florida’s laws, but it was equally as hard to prove. Her word would stand against Dr. Jacobs’ word, which seemed rather unfair. Rather that surface an ugly lawsuit, she decided to hide any evidence of her quitting to spare her family the agony of the vicious press. She would take extra care to assure Howie steered clear of the proof, knowing his reaction might ravage his recovery. “So, what did you and Lucy do?”

“I managed to get Polly to take us shopping. We had a serious blast in the mall. Polly went crazy with Lucy in the various stores. We got Lucy some cute summer clothes, shoes, and toys to play with here–”

“Howie! You’re spoiling–”

“AND we called an interior decorator today. I found the best in the business for designing little girl rooms. She’s so excited about the project that she’s going to bring me several designs next Monday. She’s going to redo the bedroom by the master bedroom into this huge Disney Princess Castle theme–”

“What?” Nicola gasped incredulously.

“I’m making the room specifically for Lucy,” Howie confirmed with a caring smile.

“That’s a…a huge step, Howie.”

“I know, but I love both of you. I want to give you both the best of the world, because that’s what you deserve. You made my life mean so much, Nic. I need you beside me just as much as I need Lucy beside me. I wanted to show my appreciation and love for you… So, here,” Howie explaining, handing Nicola a slender box.

Howie almost felt his own breath catch as he heard the soft pop of the lid opening. He was exhilarated when Nicola gasped, freeing the beautiful silver butterfly anklet from the bed of dark satin. The pendant looked extremely delicate with its purple gemstone wings and slender silver body, completed with gentle sapphire chips as its eyes. He watched with baited breath as she gently turned the charming pendant to read the inscription: ‘For believing I could fly with broken wings.’

With the lovely gift in hand, Nicola could no longer hold herself tall, and she freely burst into bitter tears.

Chapter 41 ~ A Harsh Reality

Howie felt so proud of his gift until Nicola freed the painful sobs from her throat. Her trembling hands flew to conceal her misty face of tears. His heart shattered instantly, fearing he had gone too far within the relationship. Her unusually fragile state was frightening. He had never seen her fall apart so abruptly. He didn’t want to be the cause of such suffering in her life. He bit down on his tongue as Nicola braced her upper body against the raw howls deep within her chest. Howie attentively reached out to touch her trembling shoulder. “What’d I do, Nic?”

“Nothing! I just…it’s beautiful,” she croaked, trying to control her emotions as placed the box on the coffee table. It didn’t seem appropriate to receive such a rare token of affection when she felt so undeserving.

“Then what was the sob—”

“Nothin—”

“Are you sure—”

“I was fired today,” Nicola blurted without any rationale.

“You…huh…why?” Howie burst without thought. He felt as if he had fallen from a large building to be crushed several feet below the pavement. Nicola was one of the best therapists in the state. She had won recognition all over the United States. Howie had seen the plaques, certificates, and the awards in her study. To be fired so suddenly with her background made no sense to him.

“I just…” Nicola suppressed a sniffle.

“Why’d he fire you?”

“For being me,” she incoherently decided.

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter why he fired me. The point is that I’m fired,” she corrected

“It’s going to be okay,” Howie tried to pledge.

“Are you serious?” Nicola exploded, unable to control her untamed emotions. Usually she could cap them quickly, but it was like a wild ocean storm flowing against her soul. The implications following her dismissal were devastating to not only her career but her life as well. Howie couldn’t possibly understand the circumstances surrounding the disaster.

“Baby, please calm—”

“No! You don’t understand! That job was the only damn thing I had! That kept and provided for my daughter! I could give her so much with that job! Stuff she needed! You have no idea what it’s like raising a kindergarten girl! She wants pretty dresses, dolls, just everything! Without this job, we have nothing. Absolutely nothing!”

“You have me.”

“You can’t provide for us!”

“Yes, I can.”

“No, you can’t!”

“Why?!” Howie cried with frustration.

“Because I don’t want to feel guilty about leaning on you!” she exploded.

“But that’s what I’ve done with you!”

“Not financially!”

“Nicola, please, just sit down!” Howie pleaded, unable to handle her irrational state. He feared she might harm herself physically without reasoning. He held out his hands to her, offering her his heart in the same neat package. After a few moments, she obliged to sitting next to him. Howie brought her trembling hands to his lips while he spoke, “You don’t have to feel guilty, Nic. I can lend you some money. If you feel the need to pay it back, fine. But I just don’t want you or Lucy suffering because of your dick-headed boss. I love both of you. I just want you to be happy.”

“Howie—”

“I don’t want to fight, Baby. I just want to help in any way that I can.”

“Then hold me for now,” she pleaded quietly after several moments of silence, snuggling against her lover’s side. She wiped away the remaining tears as Howie pulled her close. She was utterly distraught with the entire situation. For the first time in her life, she was bewildered as to what she should do. It would be so hard to locate another physical therapy position with Dr. Jacobs breathing down her neck. She sighed, knowing Howie’s offer might be the best solution for the time being. “I’ll think about your offer.”

“Better,” Howie approved, kissing the top of her head. Her considering anything was better than her storming out of the house never to return. He carefully trailed his fingers against her bare shoulders. “So, he didn’t say why he fired you?”

“No,” Nicola lied.

“Well, it’s for the best.”

“Excuse me?” Nicola choked.

“Now you can move toward your dream of owning your own clinic. Remember what you told the girls? Your own place with your name etched on the front door. You’d be so wonderful on your own. Jacobs can’t hold you back anymore. You can concentrate on making your dream a reality,” Howie encouraged with a stroke of genius.

“I already told you that I didn’t have—”

“The money, yes, I know, but you can’t close the door to a dream without chasing all the options.”

“When did you become so optimistic?” Nicola sniffled with surprise.

“Since I started dating a beautiful woman who gives me strength,” Howie answered, pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. He loved the way her emerald eyes twinkled in the dimming room as the sun slowly started to sink. He would do anything to make her smile again.

“I love you, too.”

“Spend the night, then.”

“But—”

“Lucy is already in her bed. She’s not planning on getting up any time soon and you deserve a night’s rest with a man who would sacrifice the world for you.”

“Where can I find one of those?” she teased, feeling more secure with Howie’s protection.

“Behave,” Howie warned.

“That’s a hard concept…”

“Will you stay so I can make you feel better?”

“Yes, I love sleeping next to you.”

“Well, I love you,” he chuckled, intertwining their hands.

“Howie?”

“Yes, Darling?”

“Thank you.”

Chapter 42 – Miracle Maker

Howie shifted carefully in the humongous bed, not wanting to rouse his slumbering lover. He gently ran his hands down the length of his slowly strengthening legs, his eyes drifting to Nicola’s sweet form. Nicola had instantly drifted into an exhausted state of slumber, but Howie found it difficult to do the same. He was too worried about Nicola’s welfare and the fact that her independence would prove a mean stubborn streak. She meant everything to him. So, if she suffered, he suffered. Yet, she almost flat-out refused his help. Howie hadn’t a clue where to go next within the jumbled sorts of his life. Unable to clear his mind, Howie reached for the phone and dialed the first number to spark in his brain.

“Hello?” Hollie yawned after a several rings.

“Is this Hollie?” Howie checked.

“Let me check my underwear… Yes, this is Hollie… A Hollie Baker even. So, who’s this?”

“Howie—”

“You didn’t elope did you?” Hollie immediately burst, not allowing Howie a word in edgewise. She was infamous for jumping to outrageous and hungry conclusions. Her mind seemed to race like a fevered car hoping to strike rich by claiming the race. “I would never forgive Cola-Pop for not inviting me! It is my right as the best friend to be there! Who else is going to catch the bouquet for the next marriage? And besides, I’m the one who pushed her toward marriage in the first place! Never in my life—”

“Hollie, we didn’t elope…” Howie tried to soothe.

“You…didn’t?”

“No…”

“Well, now that you brought up the subject—”

“What?”

“Would you marry her?”

“We haven’t even talked about marriage.”

“Well, isn’t it a good time to start talking? Cola-Pop’s not getting any younger and Lucy-Lou needs a sister or brother.”

“Wait, we jumped from marriage to kids…”

“Why not kill two birds with one stone? Well… I suppose kill is not the word to describe such a happy event. Maybe feed two cats with one bird? No…that still implies death—”

“Hollie, are you always this inquisitive at two in the morning?” Howie groaned openly, unable to decide why he had called the baffling woman so early in the morning. As much as he regretted his decision, he found it slightly absurd. She did prove to be an interesting piece of entertainment, but had the power to drive him mad.

“Only when it’s my best friend’s boyfriend on the phone and she’s not around—”

“She’s asleep…”

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s beside me?”

“Shouldn’t you put the ring on her finger first before the babies start popping? I mean, pregnant women find it difficult to be happy about planning a wedding knowing they’ll be exploding from their gown in the meantime—”

“Hollie!”

“What?”

“Did it ever concern you why I might have dialed your number at two in the morning?”

“Because…you love me?”

“Guess again…”

“That’s kind of rude—”

“Hollie!”

“Okay, Nicola?

“Well, it does concern Nicola.”

“Oh…” Hollie trailed quietly.

“Did she tell you?”

“About getting fired?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Howie sighed softly, running his fingers through Nicola’s beautiful curls. She looked to have not the slightest care in the world as she cuddled beneath the blankets, breathing softly against his skin. He needed some honest advice about how to move throughout the situation without trampling on Nicola’s autonomy. “Did she tell you why?”

“Didn’t she tell you?” Hollie quickly countered, obviously hiding something.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Dam—”

“Hollie, cut me some slack.”

“Sorry.”

“Did she tell you—”

“No, but you just have to understand that Jacob’s is a complete and utter asshole. Nic only worked for him because it was the best paying job at the time and she just wanted to feel useful. But, he doesn’t care who the Hell he hurts to get what he wants… The point is that Cola-Pop and Lucy are hurting because of him! She loves to help people and she made good money. Now, she’s unemployed and she needs to—”

“What if I furnished a clinic for her—”

“She refuses to open her own clinic. She’d never do it, Howie. She’s scared to do it because of her late husband—Did you just say you were going to buy it for her?”

“Yes, I’d like to fix up a building for her own personal clinic.”

“That’s always been her dream!” Hollie gasped.

“Didn’t you just say she’d never do it?” Howie teased.

“That’s besides the point! This is your doing! She’d accept it from you! Oh my gosh! Her dream is coming true!” Hollie screeched with disbelief.

“It’s gotta be a secret, Hollie!”

“I know! I know! You think I’d never kept a secret before—”

“From what Nic told me—”

“Point taken!”

Howie chuckled with amusement. “I’m going to ask you and the girls to keep her busy while I search for the perfect place. Then I’ll have everyone together to help decorate. It’ll be absolutely fantastic if you’d agree to help—”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Kevin has to help if I do.”

Howie muffled a laugh, “You’ve got the boy’s heart in your pocket and you’re already driving him insane!”

“So?”

“Call him already! You have his number!”

“It’s fun to play hard to get!”

”Oh, really?”

“Yes, you should try it.”

“Don’t think I could keep my heart from, Nic.”

“You don’t have to. You only condition is to run.”

“I’m going to try,” Howie murmured, flexing his toes beneath the sheets.

Chapter 43 – Love’s Unyielding Strength

Nicola turned in Howie’s large bed, throwing her arm out in hopes to reach Howie. She had a terrible night’s rest and just wanted to be comforted in the sweet embrace of Howie’s warmth. She hoped that maybe the dreams would turn peaceful in his arms, because every dream of that night had turned hellish. She always imagined Jacobs chasing her through wickedly winding paths of entrenched darkness with shadows lurking beneath every step. She thought it would be better once she woke, but the empty bed made the depression worse. Her hand sunk into the cold side of the mattress, causing her to shiver. She wanted to crawl in the deepest hole and die. Even with Howie encouraging her the past night, she still felt utterly useless. Nicola curled back onto her side, staring out the bay window. The sun beamed brightly through the breezy white curtains, yet Nicola couldn’t muster the same cheerful hello. Never had she felt so helpless since her husband’s passing.

Lying amongst the soft sheets, she decided to stop wallowing in self-pity. It wouldn’t help her daughter to cry about things that had already occurred. So, she started to map her course of actions and what would be needed to ensure her daughter’s well being. The tears started to glaze over her sorrowful eyes, finally realizing that she would have to move back in with her family. The inevitability of the situation seemed to sink like a lead weight. Since she refused to take Howie’s money, she would be unable to make her house payments. Such a beautiful house to lose, but she feared most for her aging mother. Rosa-Lynn and Danny were already enough trouble in their teenage troubles, but adding Lucy and herself to the mix was torture. Still, she would have to get hold of her mother immediately, already dreading that conversation.

“I’m so sorry, Momma,” Nicola whispered, “So, so—”

“NICOLA!”

Howie’s yell of distress seemed to shatter her grief like a crystal rose upon the hardwood floor. Her startled body started to pump adrenaline as it prepared for the infamous fight or flight theory. She lurched out of the bed as her heart leapt to her throat. He continued to yell for her, causing Nicola’s body to rush into a state of panic. Her mind tumbled with grief, unable to make sense of anything. She scurried down the steps in a record pace, following his voice. She could only think about the procedures to take in a first-aid situation.

“Baby? Where are you?!”

“Please hurry, Nic!” he hollered again.

“Alright, hold on!”

“I can’t!”

“Howie, please!”

“Hurry!”

Nicola struggled to maintain a steady breathing pattern, realizing his voice was radiating from the workout room. So many hazardous supplies lurked beyond that door. Her mind started to run through scenarios – heart attack, drowning, falling, traumatic injuries, bleeding, or many other possibilities. She wondered if she could handle such a catastrophe, especially with the deep affection she felt for her young lover. She felt like she was made of lightening as she darted into the room. Her teeth chattered as she circled the room like a preying vulture in search of the issue.

“Howie? Baby, where are you?!” she cried with obvious distress, unable to find him.

“Right here,” he called softly.

“Are you hurt?” she blurted in an anxious nature, turning toward his echoing voice. Her eyes immediately rested on his impish smile, alerting her to the fact that everything was well. Her heart fell back to its place with obvious relief, causing her to release a large exhale of delight. She wanted to instantly scold him, but found herself speechless at the sight ahead of her.

Howie was on the familiar bar system that Nicola hadn’t planned to use for months. Its function mirrored the expensive equipment used to help patients training to walk again at the clinics. Yet, Nicola couldn’t deny the facts of the situation. Howie’s wheelchair was tossed aside with the large wheels spun wildly, causing Nicola’s stomach to clench. She turned toward the system, watching as he stood in the middle upon his own two legs. Nicola’s jaw unhinged with disbelief.
“What…”

“I’m walking,” he agreed.

“You—”

“Because of you,” he interrupted with a bold smile, wanting to prove his love for her. He gripped the bars with added strength of his upper torso. He was still wobbly with his weak legs, but the spirit was stronger than anyone could possibly imagine. He took a deep breath, forcing all the determination and energy into his legs. As much as the tightened muscles ached with the pain of weakness, he refused to give up. He wanted to scream out, but bared the scream against his legs for more power. Sure enough, with meticulous movements of the once useless muscles, his right leg lifting from the system and pushed forward. With great patient and diligence, he crossed the apparatus till he perched himself in front of Nicola. “See?”

“You’re walking…” she trailed, still shocked.

“Yeah,” he laughed, enjoying the innocent look crossing her beautiful face. He mentally drew the image for his keeping, bracing his hands against Nicola’s shoulders for support. His facial features tightened as he slowly brought his body down from the structure. His legs trembled for just a moment until regaining the balance he previously needed. He offered a wry smile, pushing her back with each step he took forward.

Her eyes widened with each small step, realizing the implications he was setting forth. He had broken all the laws of true physical therapist practices. He had been told he would never walk away. His spine was so mangled that it seemed impossible. Yet, there he was, pushing her back with his own strength. She blinked rapidly, continuing with her speechless nature till her heel caught against the activity mat. She shrieked in surprise as they toppled, Howie holding the top position.

“Howie!” Nicola screeched, scowling as he joyously laughed. “You could have hurt yourself!”

“But you broke my fall. Such an angel!” Howie cooed, reaching down to place kisses against the flesh of her throat. He smiled with approval, hearing a soft moan build from beneath her vocal chords. It was obvious that he was winning the war against her scolding heart.

“Don’t,” she whined.

“Don’t what?” he laughed against her fiery skin, loving the salty sweet taste of her tan skin.

“Don’t! I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

“Baby, how can you be mad when I feel like a million bucks!”

“Because—”

“Baby, fall into ecstasy with me,” Howie pleaded, delivering several more kisses till he reached her jaw line.

“Well…”

“C’mon, indulge in the passion!”

“Okay… It’s absolutely wonderful!” Nicola exclaimed with a giddy laugh, noticing the glimmer in his eyes. She immediately remembered the bitter man she had stumbled across during her first visit. His eyes had been so dark with grief and despair, never even offering the subtlest hint of hope. Now it was like looking in upon a completely different man. His warm brown eyes always sparked with a knowing secret, something he kept hidden from the world. Yet, the warm glow behind the pupil always reminded her of his undying love and devotion for her and only her. A ripple of excitement flushed her body as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned up to give him an overpowering kiss of obvious excitement. “Do you know what this means?”

“More sexual positions for our pleasure?”

“Well... yes, but it also means that I’m going to have to get you started on an entirely different
program! I bet with a lot more practice we can get you on crutches by next week. Can you imagine? In a few short months you’ll be running around, chasing Lucy!”

“There’s plenty of time for that. But we deserve to celebrate now,” Howie murmured, bringing his lips to her neck. Truth be told, she could already see the sensual heat of excitement flickering against his beautiful irises. Her body matched the same wanting in a matter of moments. The sadness that had lurked behind her emerald eyes vaporized with Howie’s first step. She couldn’t even remember what she had been so grief-stricken about. Howie felt so relieved to see her smile again. He could feel his heart throb against his chest as he stroked her soft skin and savored the exotic nature of her flavor.

“How are we celebrating?” she whispered against his lips, her eyes fluttering closed as he started to press delicate kisses against her face.

“We’re celebrating by making love.”

Chapter 44 – Hidden Secrets

“C’mon, Cola! This is supposed to cheer you up! You know what happy is, right? Where you give one of those big doofy smiles that I love so much with that funny little giggle that ends with that little snort?” Hollie chided for yet another time as Nicola parked in Jamila’s driveway. Howie had requested the girls take Nicola out to cheer her up while he searched for the perfect building. So far, Hollie’s efforts had been slightly deterred by Nicola’s stubborn nature. Though Nicola was absolutely thrilled about Howie’s recent advance to crutches; she still worried about Lucy. The reality that she had only a small bit of savings to fall back gave her constant worries. She still refused to let Howie advance her any sort of cash. She had supported Lucy and herself for so many years without any financial help. She hadn’t even let her mother loan her some needed money. So, to actually consider depending on another offered a crushing blow to her pride.

“Sorry, Decker,” Nicola sighed, trying to push the thoughts away. She glanced toward the b beautiful home and beeped her horn several times for Jamila and Raegan. Silence surrounded the two friends as they stared at the door, waiting for the other two women to appear. Slightly impatient, Nicola began to tap the beat of the current song playing against her steering wheel. The cloud over her head just wouldn’t seem to lift to give her the opportunity to enjoy the company. “I’m just not in the mood, I guess.”

“Howie’s on his crutches now, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he’s getting stronger every day. The leg exercises I have him doing in the water along with the bar system are working fantastically. He’s even insisted on trying to walk several times a day with the bar system. He’ll be running in no time,” Nicola enthused, at least grateful for his recovery. Thinking about Howie’s progress added a small ray of light into her otherwise dreary existence.

“But?” Hollie immediately charged, knowing exactly what was plaguing her friend’s heart. Nicola may have run from Dr. Jacobs’ offer, but he was far from gone. Every conscious thought held him name somewhere in Nicola’s mind, giving him more satisfaction than she would ever realize. It made Hollie sick to think Nicola allowed the man to escape with no severe thrashing. He deserved to be punished, but Nicola still did nothing.

“But what?” Nicola countered, feigning innocence.

Hollie wouldn’t beat around the bush. Her personality allowed no such conflict. So, Hollie turned in her seat and immediately fired with the passion she was known for, “Why don’t you just press charges on him and be done with it? Honestly, Cola-Pop! Sexual harassment is nothing to scoff at! He can’t get away with this shit. It’s ridiculous what he did to you!”

“I can’t—”

“Why?”

“You don’t understand, Hollie. As much as anyone hates to admit it, the male perspective still largely dominates medicine. And if I take this to any kind of trial, it’ll be my word against his. Could you imagine how much my name would be dragged through the mud? They’d have this big time physician with expensive lawyers against a weak physical therapist that hardly has any means to support herself and her daughter? I’d lose pitifully and I could lose Lucy, too. I’d rather find another job and forget about what happened.”

“But—”

“Hey, Nicola! Ready for lunch?” Raegan called brightly, running up to the vehicle with Jamila at her side. She excitedly tapped on the hood of the car, causing the two inside to jump with surprise. Raegan’s light blue orbs twinkled excitedly as she slid into the backseat with Jamila, obviously eager to take on the new festivities. Neither visitor seemed wise to the brief exchange between friends. They simply glanced at one another to drop any remnants of their argument, but Hollie made a mental note to finish the conversation later.

“I’m definitely ready for lunch. I haven’t ate a thing all day,” Nicola agreed.

“Me either, so let’s not fool ourselves with the stupid, I’m too fat I better have a salad jargon! I want a big plate of grease and fat!” Raegan enthused with a whoop.

“Um…okay,” Nicola laughed, turning to glance in her back seat. “It’s great to see both of you again.”

“Likewise,” Jamila answered, noticing Raegan mentally preparing her order at the restaurant. Jamila stifled a laugh of amusement as she glanced to the unknown occupant in the front seat. “But who’s that?”

“Oh! I’m so sorry! This is my friend, Hollie. We went to high school together. Hollie, this is Raegan, Brian’s girlfriend. And that is Jamila, AJ’s girlfriend.”

“Hey!” Hollie greeted with a bold smile, immediately reaching to firmly shake both girls’ hands. Nicola had to laugh at Hollie’s abrupt sweetness. Hollie never judged anyone till they had a fair chance at a good impression. They could be the worst person in the world, but Hollie would save the bitter encounters till the second engagement.

“Hello,” the girls replied together, exchanging kind smiles.

“Wow, do all the Backstreet girlfriends learn how to simultaneously greet outsiders?” Hollie teased, glancing to Nicola with amusement.

“Yes, but we’re still waiting for Nicola to sign the agreement,” Raegan scorned playfully.

“I think I lost it…” Nicola trailed thoughtfully.

“More like she burned it!” Hollie shot.

“Hey! Stop going through my trash Hollie Stephanie Baker!” Nicola scolded.

“Wait, stop the presses, this is the Hollie, isn’t it?” Raegan blurted as her memory charged with a random surge. Jamila glanced between Nicola and Hollie before her own dark eyes lit up with remembrance. A knowing smile curved to Raegan’s lips as she enthusiastically poked Jamila’s ribs.

“What’s the Hollie? Am I being manufactured?” Hollie questioned in confusion.

“Yeah, that’s the Hollie,” Nicola confirmed, ignoring Hollie’s questions.

“The Hollie that stole Kevin’s heart?” Jamila confirmed with query.

“How’d you know?” Hollie laughed, finally realizing how close the Backstreet girlfriends really were between themselves and the boys. It seemed they shared every nugget of knowledge that had anything to do with anyone within the inner circle.

“Alex, Brian, Nick, and Howie informed us,” Jamila answered with a nod of confirmation.

“That’s the main topic of conversation,” Nicola agreed, knowing that everything was smoothly coming together between the girls. Confident at the newly bonded friendship, Nicola started to pull away from the home.

“Not to mention Kevin, too!” Raegan chirped, loving the scandalous nature of the boys’ love lives.

“Wait, Kevin, too? What’s he say about me?” Hollie immediately asked with interest, turning in her seat. A large smile curved against her glossed lips as her gray eyes twinkled with obvious delight. It was still too obvious that Hollie had a strong interest in Kevin. Nicola gathered that much ever sense the couple locked into a smolder stare. Yet, Hollie still made no advances to call Kevin, which probably would drive any woman insane. Yet, Hollie was extremely collected as she baited her new interest, knowing how to succeed in the game of love.

“Oh, Lord, here we go,” Nicola groaned playfully, thinking her friend might propel out of the car if she didn’t get some much-needed information quickly.

“Hey!” Hollie pouted for a moment, pushing on Nicola’s shoulder before turning back. Her mind obviously targeted on the information regarding Kevin. “So? Really? What does he say?”

“So…” Raegan trailed playfully. “Actually, he’s crazy about you. He brings your name up with every single one of us at least twice a day if not more. Says you’re an absolutely gorgeous woman and have an alluring mystery. He thinks about you every night and day. Says your completely intoxicating.”

“Intoxicating?” Hollie asked with a beautiful smile.

“Oh, yes, he’s got it bad for you,” Jamila agreed.

“BEAUTIFUL!” Hollie squealed in delight, sliding down in her seat with joy.

“Beautiful? What the Hell is that supposed to mean? You haven’t even called him! Let alone have you had a first date! You’re practically ignoring the man and driving him crazy in the process. How is it beautiful?” Nicola challenged.

“It’s all part of the game, Baby. All part of the game…”

*~*~*

“Okay! Break out the bottle of champagne! This is a perfect place for her office!” Howie breathed with exhilaration, staring around in an awed wonder. He found his energy zipping through his brain’s synapses like a heavy flood as he slowly crutched through the empty building. He had forced his friends to travel all through Orlando in search of the perfect place. They wanted no realtor to bother their searches, so they simply set off on their own. Hours had passed and various buildings had blinked by. The friends were starting to dismiss all hope of Howie finding perfection, until now.

“What all is she planning on having in the clinic?” Brian asked with his usually curious nature, wanting to assure that Howie indeed made the right selection. He closely followed Howie down the unfamiliar hallway, making sure Howie showed no signs of distress. Everyone had been completely shocked to see Howie on crutches that day, but couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate. After they were done shopping for buildings, Howie had promised to take them out for dinner, which sold Nick immediately.

“She doesn’t exactly know,” Howie remarked vaguely, opening the door to the last room at the end of the hallway. He could already envision the wonders of aquatic therapy in this vastly large room. Howie smiled, remembering many fond times he spent in the privacy of water therapy. He envisioned Nicola’s perfect form sweetly nestled within her favorite bikini, alluring him with her encouraging smiles. When he started to complain, she would entice him to walk further by slowing peeling off her bathing suit. The erotic nature of their therapy sessions always encouraged Howie to do better. Of course, she wouldn’t do that type of care with any other client, but Howie knew to spend a great deal of time created her aquatic therapy because it was still her favorite form of therapy.

“That doesn’t make any sense, D. How can she not know what she wants?” AJ asked accusingly.

“Because it’s a surprise?” Howie replied with question, not really comprehending the fault.

“So, wait, you’re making this building for her as a surprise? Do you really expect her to quit her job? How do you know she doesn’t really love her other job?” Kevin continued, obviously not accepting the mystery.

“It doesn’t matter, Kevin.”

“How can it not matter? You’re forcing her to quit by buying this—”

“I’m not forcing her to do anything. She was fired—”

“What?” AJ choked in surprise. “How the Hell did she get fired? She was the best damn therapist you ever had. Everyone we talked to recommended her and only her! How could she possibly get fired with all those fantastic reviews?”

“I…don’t really know… I mean, I know she was fired, but I don’t know why she was fired. She really didn’t give me any details. She was just so upset with the entire situation that we couldn’t talk to her about it. But, she told me that she always wanted her own clinic, but she never had the funds to do so. And, since she’s done so much for me and because I love her so much, I’m fixing this up for her.”

“Kinky,” Nick growled suddenly with an amused smile.

“Huh?” Howie replied with question.

“D, think about it, did she ever date the boss?”

“Why the Hell are you asking that?” AJ snorted.

“Well, think about it! She’s just suddenly fired out of nowhere and won’t tell you why she got her ass booted? That’s just a classic scenario! She probably had a hot and heavy affair with the boss. Then Howie comes along and she has to break it off with Mr. Boss. He gets pissed that she’s deserting him for Mr. Pop Star—”

“Shut up, Nick,” Kevin groaned immediately, refusing to let Nick finish his absurd idea. Nick looked to comment again, but Kevin ended it by lightly smacking him upside the head. Nick whimpered in surprise, pulling back with question. Kevin glared for a moment before giving his explanation, “You watch too much Lifetime.”

“No! Not Lifetime! I watch the Playboy Channel!” Nick fired with disgust.

“You sick bastard,” Brian laughed.

“What? They have great documentaries and stirring dramas,” Nick defended.

Kevin groaned at the change in conversation, realizing the boys would argue for hours over the added benefit of having the Playboy Channel. Listening to them bicker, Kevin turned to Howie in hopes to change the subject. “I think it’s a really good idea, Howie. Nicola’s going to love this.”

“Thanks!” Howie beamed.

“So, what’s the plan?” AJ asked, trying to ignore Nick’s list of why Playboy should be watched by every American for educational purposes.

“Well, I already hired some contractors. They’ll get the layout of this place then come over tomorrow. They’ll be doing all the body repair and changes. Like installing pools, Jacuzzis, private offices, and everything. Then I’m hoping my friends will help me decorate—”

“Wait, what exactly are you saying?” Nick asked, finally pulling away from his argument. He had only caught the last portion of the conversation, because it involved him and work.

“Howie’s about to make us pack mules,” Kevin grumbled.

“Not pack mules, well, okay, you’d have to help bring stuff in.”

“Exactly!”

“But I really meant more as decorators—”

“Oh, so now we’re Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy?” Kevin accused.

“Hollie’s helping?” Howie offered meekly, knowing he couldn’t win.

“I’d love to help,” Kevin quickly announced with a silly smile, causing the boys to laugh at his quick decision change because of a woman.

Chapter 45 – Working Against Time

“So, where have you been? Nicola, we haven’t seen you in weeks! We almost thought of calling for a search party! What’s wrong?” Marie fired softly as she embraced her daughter and granddaughter at the threshold of her house. She hadn’t even given the proper time for any sort of familiar greetings, because it just seemed so trivial in the light of recent events. The worry for her eldest daughter sparked against her weary jade eyes as she leaned upon the frame of the doorway for support. It only took a few short moments to realize that something was wrong, though she had known for weeks. Nicola only truly shied away from her family during a personal crisis and Nicola had disappeared for almost an entire month this time.

“Momma—”

“Don’t even,” Marie interrupted with a strong sigh, pulling Lucy into her arms. She didn’t want to get into the messy conversation with Lucy present; she was far too young for such delicate matters. So, instead of dwelling on the sadness, she offered several loud kisses to make Lucy squeal. She had missed Lucy and Nicola terribly, but knew in some part of her subconscious that Nicola had a good reason. “Uncle Danny’s watching TV, go take over and drive him nuts.”

“O’tay!” Lucy eagerly chirped, rushing to attack like a well trained solider.

“Have you eaten?” Marie asked, gazing at her eldest when she heard Danny squeal with protest.

“Momma—”

“Have you?”

“No,” Nicola sighed, realizing the conversation would go nowhere unless she consented to food.

“Then we can talk,” Marie finally approved, hurrying Nicola into the kitchen. She sat her daughter down at the kitchen table, and then bustled over to the fridge. She pulled out all the contents used to start Nicola’s favorite sandwich. She busied herself with the task, but still fired her curious questions on her ghostly daughter. “So, Nicola Ann…Why did you disappear on us like that? What’s the problem? Is something wrong with you? Or is something wrong with Howie?”

“Oh, God, no!” Nicola groaned, placing her face into her hands. She actually wished it had been something simple like a fight with Howie, but her life could never hover with complications. Nicola was honestly dreading this conversation with her mother, thinking that the matter was much worse than anyone could have anticipated. She hated asking for help. “Momma, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Howie. He’s great… Actually, he’s fantastic! He’s on crutches and working twice as hard in the physical therapy program. I’ve never seen someone advance so quickly before. He’s just so determined to get back to his regular life and it’s really paying off. He’ll be walking by himself in no time at all.”

“And your relationship with him?”

“I love him so much, Momma,” Nicola breathed, smiling at just the mere mention of her romantic life. She hadn’t felt so complete since her late husband. Howie was one of those rare jewels in life sent down by God Himself. “I couldn’t have asked for a better man in my life. He’s one of the sweetest guys in the world and so caring. He actually lets Lucy call him Daddy. He treats her as if she were his own and that’s what Lucy needs most in this life – a father. Then those times that we’re actually alone, he treats me like I’m the only person in the entire universe. I just feel so complete and fulfilled in his arms, Momma.”

“Then if it’s not Howie or your relationship, what’s the matter?”

“Momma, I—”

“Tell me—”

“Momma, it’s really hard—”

“Nicola!”

“I was fired, okay!” Nicola finally snapped, immediately turning her gaze to the top of the fading kitchen table. Guilt nipped at her bitter heart, scolding her for such a blatant disregard for God’s precious commandments. She had never been so outspoken with her mother, but times were changing so fast. It just seemed so unfair in her dimming eyes.

“Excuse me? You got what?”

“Momma…” Nicola sniffled, finally gazing upward. She didn’t want to confess wholly to the disaster. No one needed to know all the details, because it would only cause more agony. Besides, her mother would be so disappointed. “I lost my job. And there’s no way for me to get a better job in Orlando. Dr. Jacobs’ clinic is the only office in this town for Physical Therapy. And I lost it because of foolish circumstances. I’m sorry I didn’t come by early, but I was so ashamed. I tried looking for other jobs, but nothing seems to fall into place. No one is hiring in my line of work. But don’t worry about money, I managed to pay my bills with the money I was saving. But that can only go so far, Momma. And I’m so close to loosing my house. Lucy was almost born in that house. How could I possibly say goodbye to it? The only way that I can manage is if I move out of this town… And I can’t let Howie help me. I’m not going to let him put out his own hard-earned money for a woman who can’t even manage to hold a job. It’s not fair to him.”

“Oh, Nicola,” Marie breathed in disbelief, dropping the loaf of bread to the floor in shock. The facts seemed so surreal. Her daughter had always been praised for her efforts in the community. She placed every morsel of her heart into every assignment. Her home was even filled with dozens of awards for her good deeds. How could she be punished for her gallant behavior?

“What am I going to do, Momma? What can I possibly do?”

*~*~*

“So, where’d you kick Nicola to this time, D?” AJ teased openly, slapping another coat of fresh paint onto the clinic’s bare walls. Bits of baby blue paint splattered back against his faded clothing, though it didn’t seem to make much difference. He was already soaked in paint from the diligent efforts on the clinic. Each splattered color held its own tale upon AJ’s dingy clothing, because they had been working for weeks beneath a cloaked veil of secrecy. And still Nicola was none the wiser, seemingly adding a true brilliance to Howie’s ultimate plan.

“She’s with her family today,” Howie replied with a cool tone, keeping his mind geared to painting the opposite wall as he balanced his body on the crutches. Everything was coming along so nicely; Howie couldn’t have planned a better outcome. All the furniture had been ordered and detailed to precise measures. The group just needed to finish painting the waiting room, and then the place could be properly furnished. With everything folding into such a neat little package, Howie planned to unveil the creation by Friday. “Her mom’s been inviting her to dinner for weeks. She finally accepted today.”

“Why’d it take so long?” Nick asked curiously, his back faced to the group. He tilted his head to the side, moving his hands in strange positions, causing Raegan to snort with laughter. Yet, Nick seemed completely oblivious as he continued to size his canvas. Howie had given him the opportunity to create a mural for Nicola’s clinic, since Nicola seemed so fond of Nick’s artwork. Wanting to convey hope, Nick sketched magnificent unicorns amongst a beautiful lagoon. These beautiful and powerful creatures offered a chance of new beginnings as they pranced around the crystal lagoon. Nick was so proud of his creation and continued to hope Nicola would approve.

“She’s chicken!” Hollie announced suddenly from her perch on the ladder. Howie and AJ instantly glanced up in surprise, almost forgetting that Hollie was present upon the highest portion of the clinic’s walls. She was taking her time crafting the wavy white boarder to finish the soft blue walls. She allowed her strokes to feather out into sensual flourish; seemingly content knowing Kevin’s gaze was fixed upon her with growing interest.

“What?” Kevin murmured, finally pulling his gaze from Hollie’s petite form. He blinked several times before running his hands across his tired face. Hollie was too enchanting for words and he found himself completely agonized by her beauty. The worst portion of the attraction was Hollie’s understanding of their odd relationship. Knowing she had the power over the entire situation, she continued to tease him. As many times as he tried to make an approach, she would just offer a simple smile, never continuing whatever advance he tried. Kevin found the agitation growing with each passing minute as his gaze fixed upon her sweet form. He was never a patient man when it came to attraction and he needed her in the worst way.

“Yeah…” Brian chuckled, quickly noting Kevin’s love-struck gaze. He decided to speak up from his painting with Raegan, carefully nudging his girlfriend in the ribs to keep her from taunting his cousin. Brian just found it completely pitiful that Kevin was falling so hard for a woman. He had never seen his older cousin in such a heavy daze and just wanted to save him from the pure embarrassment. “Why is she a chicken?”

“I don’t know if I’ll enjoy this conversation,” Howie interjected with a frown.

“It’s a matter of fact,” Hollie continued, dipping her brush back into the paint. She quickly slapped it back upon the boarder, offering long strokes of delight to Kevin’s gaze. “One thing to learn about Nicola is that she’s fiercely independent. Not that it’s a bad thing. Just… you have to understand that she had to be independent because of her life. But, since she had to rely on herself for so long, she becomes skittish at the mere thought of someone helping her. She hates asking for help, even from her own mother. I swear she’d be the chick to drown on the Titanic because she wouldn’t have asked Leo if she could use the door for a flotation device.”

“So, she really is chicken?” Raegan laughed.

“You got it!”

“You make no sense,” Nick decided, offering careful touches of gray and white for a proud mane.

“Just like it makes no sense that you have dark roots but are oh-so-typically bleach blonde?” Hollie teased with a wry smile, leaning back as the ladder start to wobble.

“You still—”

“Watch out!” Kevin suddenly interrupted, dropping his brush to the covered floor. The group gasped in surprise at Kevin’s sudden outburst, watching him bolt to Hollie’s rescue with a fevered pace. They really didn’t know what to think as the ladder finally tipped. Kevin’s heart leapt into his throat as Hollie pitched backward with a terrifying scream. On first instincts, Kevin dove forward, swiftly catching Hollie against his chest for safety. Everyone fell deathly silent as Kevin held Hollie tight and the ladder clattered loudly to the floor. An uneasy thickness settled in the air until the bucket of white paint rained down on the couple with a sharp crash.

“God don’t like ugly!” Hollie snorted after a few moments, reaching to wipe the gooey paint from her face.

“But you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Kevin retorted in confusion, slightly euphoric with her sweet body nestled tightly against him. It was like Heaven in his mind. After so many passionate dreams, Hollie was finally within his grasp. Her warm lips were just inches from his own. The fantasy playing in his mind was so beautiful that he never seemed to notice the thick paint dripping through his raven locks.

“That’s not what I meant exactly…” Hollie trailed softly, the realization of the entire situation focusing in her brain. Her eyes locked against the brilliant emerald tones of his handsome eyes and she immediately licked her dry lips. Her heart started to pound with anticipation as her eyes fell down to the soft curves of Kevin’s lips. All the games she initiated didn’t even seem to matter. It was as if her entire life and everything surrounding it counted on this very moment in time.

“Then what did you mean?”

“Kiss me,” Hollie breathed with a slight demanding tone, eagerly sweeping her hands into his sticky locks. Hungrily, she boosted herself as she pulled him down, closing the barrier between them. She forced their lips together with little resistance, causing a flood of erotic heat to flush every nerve in their bodies. It was as if the world stopped turning only for them.

“Let’s go out,” Kevin finally murmured against her lips, their eyelids fluttering together as they blinked away the stars from Heaven descending upon them.

“When?” Hollie whispered meekly, pressing her forehead to his own with delight.

“Now. Right now. This very moment.”

Kevin didn’t even have to wait for her answer, because the sparks between them seemed to answer. So, the group watched Kevin step from the slippery puddle of paint. He stumbled just once, but appeared to think he was walking on air, leaving white footprints in his wake. He continued to concentrate on Hollie’s kisses to his tender neck as they disappeared into a fantasy-ridden sunset.
An awed silence of the tender romance settled into the air until Nick snorted, “Think he’ll ever realize they’re covered in paint?”

“Only when he sees his white butt-print on those new leather seats,” Raegan trailed without much thought. The boys immediately exchanged glances once Raegan’s thought was finished. They grimaced with a silent understanding, realizing how true Raegan’s prediction was. With coordinated grace, they all reached to turn off their cell phones. That was one call no one was willing to take.

Chapter 46 – Sweet Surprises

“Ice cream! Ice cream! We’re getting ice cream!” Lucy cried excitedly from the back of Hollie’s SUV. Her beautiful teal eyes twinkled as she eagerly bounced in her booster seat, clapping her small hands to the beat of Hollie’s radio. The women immediately giggle with amusement at the small child, obviously adoring the innocence that radiated from her sweet form. They couldn’t have asked for a better outing within Orlando. Hollie, Jamila, and Raegan had invited Nicola and Lucy out for lunch and ice cream, though they knew the truth of the underlying scheme. Howie had finally finished furnishing Nicola’s private clinic. It was a smashing success and Howie couldn’t wait to unveil his loving masterpiece. So, now while the women were wasting time amongst lunch and ice cream, a surprise party was fixing to start at the clinic for Nicola.

“Are you three excited for ice cream, too?” Nicola teased, arching her strawberry blonde brows with suspicion as Lucy grasped her mother’s hand, drawing words upon her palm. Nicola leaned down to kiss her daughter’s flaxen curls, but couldn’t help noticing the odd behavior radiating from the vehicle. The women were almost as giggly as Nicola’s small daughter, which obviously tipped Nicola off to a hidden secret. Though, Nicola didn’t know what secret it could possibly be.

“Um… Hell yeah!” Jamila blurted suddenly, glancing between the two other women. “I’m diving into this huge hot fudge sundae with all the trimmings. I’ve been dieting for what seems like forever, so this is like a little fiesta for me!”

“You’re dieting?” Nicola chided the tiny Puerto Rican woman. “Jamila—”

“Well, I’ve got to keep up with my boyfriend. He’s just so damn skinny!” Jamila squealed with an explanation.

“But can certainly pack away the food on a date,” Raegan whistled with appreciation, remembering her date with Brian where they had ran into AJ and Jamila. AJ had been slurping up huge mounds of spaghetti while Jamila and Raegan just stared in astonishment. “I mean, honestly, where does that stomach hide in his body? I think he ate about four pounds of spaghetti in one sitting! I don’t even think I could eat four pounds of spaghetti in one day! He’s like a Hoover, I swear!” All the women took time to laugh at Raegan’s honest observation. They could spend hours picking on the men’s funny quirks, which they usually did for entertainment.

“Uncle J’s a trash bucket?” Lucy contemplated with a sunny chirp.

“In so many words,” Hollie snorted.

“Hollie! Don’t!” Nicola groaned, gently smacking her friend’s shoulder from behind. “You know how inquisitive she is! She’ll call him Uncle Trash Bucket!”

“Well, it’d make for good entertainment, right?”

“Hollie—”

“So speaking of dates… How was yours?” Raegan fired with a sly smile, clearing her throat to prevent the bickering between Hollie and Nicola. All eyes immediately shifted to Hollie, who seemed to concentrate harder on the road with an aloof nature. All the women were fully aware of Kevin’s deep interest in Hollie. So, they were naturally curious as to how the dates worked out during the past week. Kevin had already given wonderful reports to the boys about his fabulous times, so, in turn; the women wanted the final point of view to complete the masterpiece.

“Which one?” Hollie finally teased with a funny smile. “And are we talking overnights?”

“Hollie!” Nicola scolded with a groan.

“Bad Aunt Decker!” Lucy quickly chimed in, combing a small brush through her doll’s lengthy curls.

“Okay, okay!” Hollie groaned painfully, glancing in her review mirror with yet another illuminating smile. Nicola could see the glimmer of excitement embedded in Hollie’s beautiful gray irises, already telling Nicola the complete story behind the affair. “Kevin has got to be one in a million. He is the sweetest man in the entire world and completely classy. Not like those Mac-Truckers that wine and dine you in the drive-thru of a McDonalds. And trust me, I’ve had plenty of those dates. But, Kevin, oh God, Kevin! He picks me up in a freshly cleaned Jaguar with two dozen red roses perched between the seats. Actually walks up to my door to lead me by the arm into the car, then proceeds to shut the door for me. He then takes me to this quaint Italian restaurant and makes sure that we’re seated with this beautiful overview only lit by candles. Only keeps his eyes on me during the entire night. We even had this gorgeous waitress and he NEVER lifted his eyes off me!”

“Sounds like Kevin,” Jamila agreed with a romantic sigh. “Want to trade?”

“For a man that considers a burping contest as a date, no thanks.”

“Hey! AJ’s romantic!”

“In a punk-rocker, beer drinking, lap dancing kind of way…”

“So, afterwards?” Raegan quickly pushed before Jamila could speak, not wanting to stray from the romantic adventure.

“We went back to his place for desert!”

“Did’ja get ice cream, Aunt Decker?” Lucy quipped, causing a feisty round of laughter.

“Yeah, Honey… And the fifth scoop was as sweet as the first!”

“Five scoops?” Jamila squealed. “You lasted for five scoops?!”

“Oh, yes,” Hollie sighed dreamily.

“Did’ja get a belly ache?” Lucy asked with concern.

“Oh, no, Sweetheart. I just needed a long nap!”

“Oh… Mommy won’t let me have five ice cream scoops!”

“You won’t be having five scoops for a very long while,” Nicola agreed with a sharp frown, immediately kissing her daughter’s forehead. The other three women chuckled openly at the sexual innuendo forming around them. Nicola rolled her eyes, settling back on her best friend with an awed some. “So, Hollie – The Infamous Never Settling Decker is actually in love?”

“Well… Let’s just say the Little Black Book got lost in the hamper last night…”

*~*~*

Nicola felt goose-bumps explode and prickle upon her tingling flesh as the women yanked her toward an unfamiliar building. Nicola still didn’t understand what was going on. They had never traveled to this section of their hometown, which made Nicola immediately draw Lucy tightly into her arms. She stumbled a few paces before regaining her sleek posture. She didn’t like the nervous energy flickering around her and could tell something beyond bizarre was about to occur. The vibes feeding off the women who had suddenly drawn into excited giggles while they munched on their cones of ice cream caused Nicola’s stomach to form with tight knots. The next thing Nicola knew, they were pushing her into the vehicle and pulling up to this bizarre place. She gazed up at the large building with apprehension, feeling Hollie push on the small of her back yet again. She had never been to this building in all her life, so why come now?

“Can we go home?” Nicola voiced, stopping at the front door covered front door.

“No, we forgot something in here,” Jamila explained.

“Wait, you’ve been here before?”

“It’ll be like two seconds,” Hollie chipped in, brushing off Nicola’s second question. She glanced to the other women before pushing Nicola further. Hollie smirked with interest as Nicola yelped in protest, but finally started to slowly enter. Raegan scooped Lucy into her arms to travel into the building, only to hear Nicola’s shrill shriek of surprise as lights flooded the massive clinic and hordes of people popped out in different locations, flinging confetti. Hollie, Jamila, and Raegan screamed with delight, immediately running forward. Hollie offered another whoop of delight as she rushed into the chaos. “Surprise, Cola-Pop!”

“What is all this?” Nicola gasped as the sea of people seemed to part to give her a chance to view her new surroundings. She glanced around in awe at the beautifully crisp room, noticing the comfortable chairs and tables littered with various magazines. Her eyes flicked to a nearby wall that Nick had decorated, noting his signature beneath the sweet images of unicorns dancing amongst a heavenly oasis. Her college degrees for Physical Therapy were nailed cleanly behind the receptionist desk, highly advanced computers just beckoning to be programmed with patient information. She offered a still flabbergasted smile as Howie crutched to stand in front of her, carefully shifting his wait so he could run a gentle hand against her reddened cheek.

“What’s all this, Baby?” Nicola repeated.

“Sweetheart, didn’t you see the name on the door?” Howie questioned softly, motioning back to the door. Nicola slowly turned back to the front door, finally noticing her name scripted backward on the glass: Nicola A. Tilley, PT.

“Howie…” Nicola gasped, blinking away just a few tears.

“Hey, no tears. This is a happy day, right? This is your dream, Nic. I built you your one and only dream. I remembered you talking about it that night, your beautiful eyes glittering with excitement as you spoke of caring for others under your own name. How so very much you wanted your name to be on the door, you to be the one they came to for help. Well, this is your very own clinic,” Howie breathed excitedly. His dark brown eyes glittered with cherishment as he continued to caress her cheek before offering a kiss to her forehead.

“Howie, I don’t deserve—”

“Sweetheart, Love of my Life, you gave me back all my dreams. I’m standing here right now, just a few short months of walking on my own without these damn crutches. When you met me, everything was wasted in my life. I had no hope. Everything was broken. But you… God, you gave me a reason to live. And with it you gave me unconditional love. I had to give you something back. Something to build our lives with. Something to show you how much I adore you.”

“I already knew that you adored me, but my own clinic?” she whispered, continuing to glance around in admiration. Her heart continued to pound steadily within her ribcage. She couldn’t believe Howie had done all this just for her. It was so beautiful.

“And there’s oh so much more!” Hollie squealed, tugging Kevin forward to break Howie’s hold on Nicola’s gaze. Kevin offered a secure smile and handed her a first-class airplane ticket before wrapping Hollie tightly in his arms. He nestled his chin against her shoulder as Hollie grinned and melted into his embrace. “Kevin and I got you a ticket to Miami.”

“Why am I going to Miami?” Nicola questioned with suspicion. “Getting rid of me already?”

“Oh, no! Howie would condemn us for that! You see there’s a Physical Therapy Convention this weekend at this grand hotel. We decided it would be best if you went to promote your new clinic there. So, we all chipped in to make this a grand occasion,” Kevin informed, leaning with Hollie to kiss Nicola’s cheek. “And, this is my thank you for Hollie and giving us our old Howie back.”

“You’re welcome,” Nicola replied shyly, rubbing her cheek as Lucy tugged eagerly at her leg.

“Hey! Us, too!” Raegan giggled, jumping forward with Brian. She eagerly bounced on the balls of her feet until Brian placed his hands against her shoulders to weigh her to the floor. She pouted only for a moment till Brian kissed the back of her neck. She then giggled softly and began to speak quickly, “We decorated your booth and made you business cards for the Convention. It looks absolutely beautiful, you’ll be proud. Now, you just have to show up and give an award winning smile before you have more patients than you know what to do with.”

“And we paid for your weekend at the hotel where the convention is. It’s absolutely gorgeous; you’ll love it there. All you have to do is give your name and full accommodations will be provided,” AJ rasped, joining the group with Jamila fixed to his side. He looped his arm around Jamila’s waist, pulling her close. Jamila sighed dramatically, starting to fix kisses along the length of his neck. “Oh! Jammy even got you a deluxe spa package and this nearby resort. Full facials, mud baths, whatever you chicks like to do!”

Nicola stared in awe at the priceless treasures placed in her hands. These people had formed special bonds with her through the passing months. They cared for her as if she were part of their family. Nicola sniffled softly, immediately rubbing her burning eyes. She could never stop saying thank you for their stunning generosity. “Oh, guys! I don’t know what to say…”

“Say you’ll do it,” Paula laughed from beyond the small band of friends.

“It’s a great opportunity,” Marie agreed, patting Paula’s shoulder.

“Please, Mommy?” Lucy begged from beneath her legs, already eager to play with the new toys stationed around the clinic for the smaller patients.

“Well, of course. How can I turn something down given to me with pure love?” Nicola breathed, eagerly moving to wrap her arms around Howie’s neck. Howie chuckled in surprise, letting his crutches clatter loudly to the floor as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Nicola gasped softly as she offered him the sweetest kisses. Tears of joy streaked crossed their warm cheeks, mixing together as if they were one unit, one heart, one being. “Thank you so much, Howie! I don’t think I can ever stop saying thank you. This means so much to me. You mean so much to me. I mean… I love you so much!”

“I love you, too,” Howie laughed, knowing deep inside he had to marry this girl.

Author's Note - I am so sorry for such a delay in my writing. As some of you know, I was blocked from getting into my account with a password mix up. But, I'm back and have a ton of stuff. So, please, enjoy. And again, I'm so sorry!

Chapter 47 – Determined Destiny

“More wine!” Hollie declared, purposely slurring her speech with an amused giggle. Howie arched his dark brows in question, watching Hollie slide from Kevin’s lap to grasp the cooling Asti bottle from a bucket of ice. She playfully wobbled around the room, topping everyone’s wine glasses. Though, she assured that Nicola had the most of the crisp liquid.

“Are you trying to raise my blood alcohol level to that of an Irish man on Saint Patty’s day?” Nicola scorned with a laugh, setting her wine glass to the side. She had never been too wild about alcohol, merely sipping upon it occasionally while in social situations. Besides, Nicola was determined to keep a clear mind to hold some level of sanity while life shifted. It just seemed that everything had been swept away in a whirlwind without her consent, not that she disagreed. She was thankful for the opportunities Howie had given her; she just wished she had room to breathe. Now, she was packing for the conference in Miami when Hollie and Kevin stopped for a surprise visit with bottle of celebratory wine. She had first declined, but Howie insisted, making it hard for her to refuse. So, she languidly sipped upon the bubbling liquid while packing for her flight due to depart in two hours.

“Honestly?” Hollie paused with a mischievous grin, one that Nicola was all too accustomed to.

“I would hope so!”

“Okay, yes, I’m trying to increase the load of alcohol in your system. Not because I’m hoping to get you laid or anything before you leave—”

“Hollie!”

“But because I know how tense you are about flying! You’ve never flown before so of course you’re going to be quite antsy! So, dumping liquor into the system makes an easy trip! It’s only because of my love and adoration for you!” Hollie expressed with a squeal while Nicola looked completely dumbfounded.

“Basically, enough alcohol to make you not care about crashing into a fiery inferno. You’ll be singing show-tunes with the Captain while dumping into that fiery ocean!” Kevin tried to joke, only his joke held a sour affect as Nicola paled dramatically at the mere image. She could vividly picture herself seated upon the massive craft with the airbags falling in front of her face. Wild alarms and screeches sounded as the airplane tore in half, sending her body propelling into the open air with a vacuum of energy. Her hands clamped tightly to the soft tank top clamped in her hands, remembering far too many disaster movies with planes. She pressed her glossed lips into a tight, thin line of worry.

“Uh…can I just start driving?” she meekly questioned.

“You’re going to be fine!” Howie promised, shooting a sharp glare to Kevin. Howie couldn’t believe that the man they considered the wisest of the group would be so haphazard about a serious conflict in Nicola’s life. The woman had never flown on an airline before and was already quite paranoid about leaving Howie and Lucy alone in Orlando. Howie felt like he had stepped through deadly flames of the thickest burning buildings to assure Nicola’s confidence. They were far too close to have it ruined by a simply foolish remark. Knowing he had to stomp the doubt, Howie quickly boosted himself from the armchair, crutching to stand beside Nicola.

“But—”

“Sweetheart, you really do blow at jokes,” Hollie commented as Howie silenced Nicola’s fears with a sweet kiss. Seeing her friend was occupied, Hollie slipped back into Kevin’s lap with a devilish smile. She seemed to bring out the most playful spark in Kevin’s usually serious mannerisms. Brian and Nick delighted in the fact that Hollie held such a strong hold on his life, causing much amusement amongst the group. Knowing as much, Hollie played with the buttons on his shirt, causing ripples of excitement to heat between them. She couldn’t wait to get him back to her home again.

“I’m funny,” Kevin protested with a pout, contrasting his usually stern appearance.

“No, Sweetheart. You’re not funny. I think you were born without a funny bone… See, you’re serious, but I love you for that,” Hollie explained as if she were teaching a young child.

“You do?”

“Oh yes,” Hollie praised, immediately warming his face with a stirring kiss.

“Mmm, okay! Nicola, don’t worry about the fiery inferno… Just worry about Lucy being watched by five guys,” Kevin murmured beneath Hollie’s kisses, not really paying attention to the words flowing from his kissed lips.

“Where’s my Lucy?” Nicola immediately yelped, another rush of emotions flooding her body. She couldn’t imagine leaving Lucy in the care of Nick and Brian, but the boys were so close. Howie would most definitely ask the men to help. What was to prevent Nick and Brian from shaping her daughter’s impressionable mind? Dozens of images flew through her brain of burping contests, farting contests, the ground littered with empty pizza boxes and other unknown substances, and her daughter standing in the middle giggling like a maniac. Lucy would be formed into a serial killer before Nicola could return.

“Kevin!” Hollie groaned, watching Nicola’s emerald eyes spark with worry.

“What?” Kevin called innocently, pointing to his lips.

“Where’s Lucy?” Nicola repeated, watching the couple stir with another round of passionate kisses.

“She’s playing with her new Barbie’s in her room,” Howie assured, placing a warm hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder. He watched Nicola jerk in surprise from his gentle hand, obviously startled from her terrifying imagination. Howie smiled softly at the lines of worry creasing Nicola’s beautiful face. He found Nicola’s tense state quite endearing, because she was always in such a firm state of control. She had never allowed letting the trivial moments to eat away at her strong exterior, so Howie never had an opportunity to comfort her. Yet, now, she eagerly ran to his arms for comfort, giving Howie the chance to feel useful. “You’ve got to calm down, Nic.”

“I know,” Nicola sighed, immediately turning into Howie’s embrace. He naturally allowed the crutches to fall to the floor so he could properly bring his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Nicola offered a nervous smile, slipping her arms around his neck to stabilize them both. “Everything is happening so fast, Howie. I mean, I’m really happy for what you’re doing for me to help make my dreams a reality… It’s just I don’t want to leave Lucy for an entire weekend, I’m nervous about promoting my own business, I don’t know if people are even going to be interested in seeing me as a physical therapist, I hate flying, and I don’t know what to wear at this convention!”

“Okay, okay, okay… One at a time, Sweetheart,” Howie laughed with a smile.

“One at a time when a million are buzzing in my head… Okay… One… Are you going to be okay with Lucy? It was sweet of you to offer to take her for the weekend. She really loves your house and all, but my mother could have taken her. She loves her aunt and uncle and absolutely loves spending time with them. You didn’t have to immediately take her in. I didn’t expect that from you… I just don’t want you to stress yourself out. You’re doing so well with your rehab and to take Lucy… She’s so—”

“Exactly like you?” Howie interjected with a charming smile, causing Nicola to laugh softly. “Sweetheart, she’s my baby girl. And we’re going to be just fine together. We’re going to sleep in late, watching afternoon cartoons, share some peanut butter and jelly, and then kick back at night with a Disney movie. Plus, Polly’s going to stop by to double check, but we’ll be fine. We’re just going to miss you too much.”

“I’ll miss you guys, too,” Nicola agreed.

“Now, we’ll face those other problems as the time comes. But I know for a fact that everyone’s going to be running to you for physical therapy. I mean, hello, Sweetheart, you got me walking again!”

“Howie—”

“And about what you want to wear…” Howie clicked his tongue, changing the subject before she could disagree with his words. Howie believed whole-heartedly that she was the reason he was so close to walking again. He refused to let her believe otherwise. So, he leaned to rest his chin on her delicate shoulder. He started to whisper seductively to send shivers down her spine, “Frankly, I’m quite partial to your light sweater tank tops that offer a hint of elegancy paired with those short black skirts that compliment those gorgeous long legs of yours. Those very gorgeous legs that I love to wrap around me during the night…”

“Then I’ll wear just that… Thank you,” she breathed with a delighted shiver, pulling him in for a deep kiss. “But we’ve got to kick them out for an hour…because you’ve got to make the pre-mile-high club!”

*~*~*

“Okay! Give Mommy lots of hugs and kissies! I’m going to be gone for three whole days. And I’m going to miss you like crazy, Lucy-Lu. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get on that plane without you,” Nicola explained with a soft sigh, bending down to scoop her small daughter into her arms. She delivered several sweet kisses to her daughter’s rosy cheeks, causing a burst of giggles. Nicola laughed softly in exchange, running her fingers through Lucy’s flaxen locks. Nicola’s flight was due to leave in a few minutes and she was having trouble saying goodbye. The idea of leaving Howie and Lucy was heartbreaking. It had been so long since she actually was apart for them for more than a day or two. She tried to offer an encouraging smile since everyone had come to wish her well, but leaving was the hardest.

“Daddy and I will be good!” Lucy chirped with an encouraging smile, offering a fierce hug to her mother. She pecked her cheeks several times before running to cling to her father’s leg. She understood that it was a temporary situation and loved spending time with Howie. The two had developed a strong bond within their short time together, which made Howie’s relationship with Nicola was the more promising.

“Aren’t you going to miss me?” Nicola pouted.

“Bunches!” Lucy enthused, finally running to cling to her mother.

“Same here,” Nicola sighed, holding her daughter close. She carefully rose to a standing position, shifting so she could finish her goodbyes.

“Be careful, girl,” Jamila was the first to say.

“But have fun!” Raegan contradicted.

“Overstuff on the complimentary peanuts!” Nick advised.

“Good luck,” Brian encouraged.

“You’ll knock’em dead!” AJ enthused.

“And the plane ride will be fine,” Kevin laughed.

“I’ll take care of Howie and Lucy, Cola-Pop. You just enjoy the hotel and convention. You’re going to dominate… And I’m so proud that you’re living your dreams,” Hollie whispered, kissing Nicola’s cheek. The entire group seemed to make it short and sweet for Howie’s benefit. They knew he would have the longest goodbye. “Have a ton of fun.”

“Only half a ton because you’re not there,” Nicola laughed as her plane was called to be boarded. She sighed, carefully handing Lucy to Hollie so she could properly say goodbye to Howie. She wasted no time wrapping her arms lovingly around Howie’s neck, keeping her body close to his. She curled her index finger around a lock of his silky, dark hair. She had almost thought about buying a second ticket and insisting he come along, but she knew better. He needed to keep working on his physical therapy and she needed to complete this task on her own. Howie had started the process, but she needed to finish it. “I’m going to miss you, Baby.”

“Like crazy,” Howie agreed with a bittersweet smile, tracing his fingers down her soft cheek. He locked his dark eyes upon every feature of her being, not wanting to forget. A small nervous ball formed within his stomach, but he pushed it aside. He would just miss her far too much, even if it was a simple weekend. “But have fun, just not too much fun… And no other guys!”

“No one could replace you,” Nicola promised, leaning to offer a powerful kiss before slipping away. “I love you!”

“I love you, too,” Howie whispered with a sad smile, watching her hurry down the length of the corridor to her plane. A few others followed before the doors snapped shut, proving she was gone. Howie released a bitter sigh, longing to just run after her for one final kiss. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and process his need to marry her, but knew that surprise would wait till she returned.

Chapter 48 – A Step Away

“Howie, you’re crazy,” Hollie announced deliberately, glancing up from braiding Lucy’s soft hair to admire Howie’s courage with her playful taunting. Nicola had been gone for almost a full day and Howie hadn’t even stopped to miss her. He had been quite mournful on the ride back from the airport, cuddling Lucy close to his chest for relief. But, once he was home, everything immediately shifted. Instead of mourning like a lost lover, he simply started to plan for her joyous return from the conference. Currently, he had invited Kevin and Hollie to spend the evening with Lucy and himself. He knew that he would still have a bit of trouble handling Lucy on his own, but Hollie assured that she would help with the messier issues. And once they were settled into the guest room for the evening, Howie asked Kevin into the weight room. He gave Kevin no explanation to his desires, just asking for a spot while he worked on the special bar system that Nicola had installed to help him start walking again. Hollie seemed less than amused with the test of testosterone, however, shifting her gaze between Lucy playing with Barbies and the men to make sure there wasn’t a need for 9-1-1.

“Why am I crazy?” Howie retorted in surprise, glancing to Kevin with question. Only, his older friend shrugged in bewilderment. Howie smirked ruefully for the moment, knowing Kevin could never be held responsible for his girlfriend’s mouth. It was all too clear that he had no control over her erratic behavior. She controlled the relationship with a whirl of unpredictability, practically shattering Kevin’s elderly stance on hating irregularities.

“Because, Nicola should be here while you—”

“I’m fine,” Howie interrupted, stumbling slightly within the bar system because of Hollie’s nugget of doubtfulness. Kevin jerked in fear, reaching to help before Howie could hurt himself. But, Howie shook his head to dismiss Kevin’s helpfulness. Howie knew that he had to do this for himself. He had to do this so he could feel worthy of Nicola’s undying love and adoration. He had to feel like he could fully support Nicola when he asked for her hand in marriage, because he wanted to provide for her always. He wanted to make sure that she didn’t ever have to wish for things that she couldn’t possibly possess. He knew that with just a few steps by himself, he could satisfy his needs for complete fulfillment.

“You’re sure?” Kevin murmured, still hunched in a ready stance.

“Yeah—”

“Daddy’s strong! He can do it!” Lucy interrupted with faith. She briefly glanced up from her dolls to catch Howie’s gaze. She was quite the intelligent child, always listening to everything happening around her imaginative play. She noticed that her father hung limply from the bars, but her beautiful teal eyes expressed her belief that he was Superman despite his weak posture. “Right, Daddy?”

“Right, Sweet-Pea,” Howie grunted, pulling his sweaty body upward. His muscles contracted with weariness as if to tell him not to overwork his abilities, but he continued despite the aggravation. He moved to the edge of the protective system, staring down at the haunting tiles of the gym floor. He released just a soft breath of uncertainty, trying to focus on the hope and adoration in Lucy’s eyes. She believed in his abilities. If only he could believe in himself.

“C’mon, D,” Kevin beckoned, quickly realizing Howie’s intentions. He felt his body stiffen with excitement, alerting Hollie to the possibility of a miracle. Kevin beckoned Hollie quickly to his side with a motion of his hands. He took a deep breath, knowing Howie could do it if he kept his mind focused on what he wanted in life.

“Hold on,” Howie hesitated, unable to release his hands from the bars. Once he stepped down, he was completely venerable to anything that God had to offer. Initially, he thought this was a wonderful idea, but not having Nicola’s encouragement caused his spirits to slightly dampen with fear. Her soothing tones always made Howie feel absolutely invincible against the entire world. But, Howie couldn’t focus on the pleasures of optimism as he tightened his grips on the bars. There was a good chance that he could tumble and hurt himself worse. And, if he fell, he truly failed Nicola and could never ask for her hand in marriage. Howie sighed, it just seemed so much easier with her there.

“No holding on, D,” Kevin contradicted, knowing he needed to nudge Howie off the bar system like a mother bird nudged her chick out of the nest to fly. “Just let go. It’ll be okay.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t push him,” Hollie hesitated, slipping her hand into Kevin’s with a flitter of nervousness. “I don’t think we have enough for the whole ‘you break it, you buy it’ scenario.”

“It’s his decision,” Kevin murmured, placing a kiss to her knuckles. He had to quickly silence Hollie’s doubts, knowing that she would make Howie shrink back into his shell of fear. Kevin couldn’t allow that devastation to happen, either. It had been such a long haul for the close batch of friends. He couldn’t deny Howie the opportunity to try to walk again, because he wanted it just as badly. He wanted Howie to have the confidence and faith again. He wanted him to walk.

“But—”

“Daddy, what’cha doing?” Lucy piped, scurrying over to where Kevin and Hollie stood. Her teal eyes shimmered with curiousness as she bounced on the balls of her feet, obviously drawn to the adults’ conversation. She stepped closer to the bar system than the couple, glancing up at the man she adored. “Need your wheelie-chair?”

Howie glanced down to Lucy, smiling softly at her genuine concern for his well being. She was a younger version of her mother with the same heart of gold. She gave his a surge of confidence, causing his chest to puff slightly with pride. Immediately, he started to focus on the child and her mother. Howie’s life had started when he first met Nicola for Physical Therapy. He believed his life had truly ended with that horrific accident, but Nicola had shown him a better way. She had taught him to love in such a romantic and sensual way that caused his entire body to flame with hope. And Lucy had been such a sweet surprise. He never expected to be a father-figure so soon in his life, but welcomed it just the same. He lived every day just for them. They deserved the world. They deserved him at his very best.

“No, I don’t need the chair, Sweet-Pea. And I don’t need the crutches,” Howie whispered, finally stepping down from the bar system with his mind focused on the child. First one foot and then the other were placed upon the smooth tiles. His knees buckled slightly, but he made sure his friends stayed away. Slowly, he straightened his posture, shuffling one foot forward upon the cool tiles. He closed his eyes and shifted, taking his first true step since the horrifying accident. Hollie gasped in joy as Howie choked on a happy sob. His entire body exploded with exhilaration as he took yet another step. After so many months of being confined to the aching chair, walking held such a sweet taste of utter freedom. He felt like he could take on the world and anything dark that life had to offer. “Take my hand, Sweet-Pea.”

“Where we going, Daddy?” Lucy bubbled with surprise.

“To get Mommy a very special present.”

*~*~*

Nicola released an exhausted yawn as she stepped off the elevator onto the hotel floor, rubbing the back of her aching neck with one hand as she freed the key to her hotel with the other. The first day of the Physical Therapist Convention had been packed with seminars before Nicola could even start to man her station for her new establishment. Several Orthopedic Surgeons had sought out her specifically over the course of a few hours, looking to refer their clients after finding that she was responsible for Howie Dorough’s quick recovery from a crippling accident. So, as weary as Nicola seemed, she still felt the triumph of sweet success. She couldn’t wait to call Howie about her day, knowing he would be pleased with her adventurous side.

Though, as excited as she was about her day, she truly desired just to hear his voice on the opposite end of the line. She had only been gone for a day and already missed Howie and Lucy terribly. True to the meaning of the phrase, they indeed held the entirety of her heart. Not a minute passed that she didn’t think of them and Howie’s faithfulness. Howie had finally mended the tear in the small family and Nicola was forever grateful. Lucy finally had a father and Nicola was falling harder and harder into the ecstasy of love. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the loneliness of not having Howie within her life. Every kiss, touch, and caress drove her insane with delight, throwing her further into the passions of love. It was a new emotion for her, because she hadn’t even felt that type of freedom with her late husband, Trevor.

“I’d know that body from any angle,” an oily voice announced with a delighted whistle, quickly shattering Nicola’s dreamy trance. She could pick out that disgusting voice from any dingy biker bar in the county. Immediately, Nicola fumbled to unlock her hotel room in attempts of an escape, but a powerful hand yanked her back as another reached to slam her door shut. “When those Screwy Surgeons started raving about the hot new PT in town, I could only imagine your sexy self. Then I glanced at the list of attending PT’s and, surprise, surprise, I came across a Nicola A. Tilley, PT.”

“Hello, Eric,” Nicola murmured with a disheartened tone, slowly bringing her gaze up to catch his disgusting smirk. The overpowering cologne that he seemed to bathe in caused nausea to coil around her stomach like barbed wire. She felt her stomach clench with worry as he started to back her into a lonely corner. She glanced down both sides of the hallway for anyone that could be of assistance, but he quickly draped her in darkness, trapping her like a frightened animal.

“So, the news on the street is that you’re renting yourself out to your clients,” Dr. Jacobs sneered, pressing his lips close to her ear. Slowly, he ran his hand from her shoulder down an intimate length of her body that Howie had only known. “A little PT in the bedroom in exchange for the start of your very own business? What a smart girl.”

“It’s not like that and you know it,” Nicola scowled, squirming from his touch. “Now get off me.”

“What I don’t understand is why you stalked out on my offer and ran for his,” Dr. Jacobs continued arrogantly, licking her earlobe as he squeezed his hand between her thighs. “I’m a better lover than some half-baked paraplegic that couldn’t even get his dick to rise in the Playboy Mansion during mud wrestling night—”

“You bastard!” Nicola seethed in sheer disgust, kneeing him sharply in the groin to free herself.

“You bitch!” Dr. Jacobs heaved, falling to his knees at the crack against the delicate region below his waist. He held his privates with one hand, managing to grab her ankle despite the extreme discomfort. And she fell hard against the floor as he straddled her hips, smacking her sharply across the cheek for the pain radiating down his legs. The sound of a palm against flesh echoed in the deserted hallway, causing hot tears of pain to streak down Nicola’s face. “To think I wasted—”

“GET OFF ME!”

“SHUT UP!” Dr. Jacobs roared, slapping his hand sharply across her mouth. He clamped down hard to prevent her from screaming, causing her to gasp for breath. He looked completely tired of her antics, wanting to get his point across without any trouble. His dark eyes sparked with anger, causing Nicola to shrink in size. “Now you listen to me! And listen good! I’m tired of dicking around with you and you’re fucking attitude. I give you the best offer and you piss on my leather shoes like the bitch you are. So, now it’s crashing hard. You got me?”

Nicola muffled a thick sob beneath his hand, furiously blinking back her tears. She hadn’t even thought of running into this man at the Convention. Usually, he was far too busy within his hotel room to even stop down to the seminars or search out others. But, there she was, trapped without any hopes of recovering from the pain. Dr. Jacobs’ heavy weight crushed her body as his words crushed her soul.

“If word gets out that you’re dating a high profile client, your reputation will be completely trashed. Not to mention the fact that you’re responsible for your late-husband’s suicide,” Dr. Jacobs started, watching Nicola wince. “You didn’t think I knew about that, huh? Oh, how sweet. Facts are facts though, Sweetheart. You killed him because you refused to give him physical therapy when he obviously needed it, right, Honey? And you knew he was going down hill and did nothing to stop it. So, not only will no one want you in their office, you run the risk of losing your license. But, I’m okay with making you one last offer. Break if off for good with the cripple and your problems will go away.”

Nicola attempted to protest, but he clamped his hand tight to cut her oxygen supply. She struggled beneath him, only delighting him further as their bodies rubbed. His dark eyes flashed with excitement, causing her to calm considerably. She held extremely still, closing her eyes to pray for some kind of salvation.

“You’re not in the position to disagree, Baby. Dump the bastard or I ruin your entire life starting at the very top and working my way down. I’ll have social services take away Lucy and the only job you’ll be able to have is hooking corners like the whore you are. You know I have connections, Nicola. I have no fucking qualms about getting rid of your little angel and getting rid of you. So, just get rid of him first. Got it?”

Nicola attempted to nod, but a pair of bright red heels stepped onto her luscious curls. Her head was sharply pinned to the ground with a fresh bout of pain. She winced as her eyes shot upward to see Darcy. Immediately, everything seemed to connect just as sharply as Darcy’s heels from previous events. Darcy’s flirtatious behavior with Dr. Jacobs had not been unheeded. She had connected with the man to form a disgusting relationship, vowing to bring Nicola to justice for trampling her good standing in the Dorough Family. Nicola’s heart dropped as Darcy scowled with displeasure at Dr. Jacobs straddling. “You found her.”

“Obviously,” Dr. Jacobs snorted, glaring down to Nicola with sheer pleasure. He planted a forceful kiss to her lips as a promise of his sinful desires. The then pressed sharply on her chest to boost himself up into Darcy’s groping hands. “Darcy’s going to make sure you complete the job on Monday morning. So, get rid of the bastard before you get hurt.”

Chapter 49 – Not Even a Matter of Choice

Nicola trembled furiously as she folded her clothing to pack back into her suitcase, dreading the upcoming hours as if it were the ultimate Armageddon. Her flight for Orlando would depart in a few hours, causing Nicola to become furiously queasy. She hadn’t slept in two days since Dr. Jacobs’ threat. He continued to haunt her mind, sending cryptic messages by bellhops and phones to taunt her into compliance. He was purely insane with jealousy, frightening Nicola tremendously.

Dr. Jacobs wanted her to destroy her relationship with Howie and Nicola couldn’t refuse, because her daughter remained in the delicate balance. But, when the deed was done, she would be transferred to his new clinic, no questions asked and her salary would increase two fold. Lucy would be well taken care of with her increase in salary and she would remain safe in the arms of her mother. Also, there were no sexual encounters needed, because Darcy somehow managed to maintain the hunger. But, she would still be his pet and slave.

But what choice did she really have? Dr. Jacobs was a powerful man with many connections. He could trample her within a moment and without a heart. He would strip her of everything if Darcy reported the deed undone on Monday. And then Lucy would be ripped from her embrace permanently. She would have Howie and his money, but no daughter. And, Lucy would always remain number one in her life. Lucy had to come before Howie. Lucy had to come before Nicola’s foolish love life.

“Oh, Howie,” Nicola heaved, grasping the frame on the nightstand. Her bottom lip quivered as tears finally began to pour from her beautiful emerald eyes. Howie had packed the photograph so she wouldn’t be too lonely during the weekend nights. And it was her favorite photograph of what would be their happy family.

“I love you so much, Howie. I really do,” Nicola sobbed, brushing her fingertips against the glossy image of Howie. It was the first professional of Howie, Nicola, and Lucy. They were outside on a large bolder, Howie holding Nicola as she held Lucy. Howie was dressed in a light sand polo shirt with black slacks, his arms curled tightly around Nicola’s waist as he gently rested his chin against her shoulder. Nicola, dressed in a pale yellow sundress, wrapped her arms tenderly around Lucy’s waist, resting her chin against the top of Lucy’s head. And, Lucy, grinning proudly, wore a matching pale yellow sundress with her light curls tied in two braids. Bright smiles’ exploded on each of their faces, but Howie was truly the happiest. Nicola and Lucy had given him a reason to live again.

But now she would break his heart.

It would just happen and life would move on.

And he would never know why.

“I am so sorry, Howie…”

*~*~*

“Nervous, D?” Kevin questioned, standing beside Howie as Nicola’s flight arrived. He offered a bemused smirk while Howie’s dark brows furled with disappointment. However, Kevin simply laughed. It was hard not to be joyous at this specific moment, waiting at the terminal as Nicola’s plane unloaded. All their family and friends were waiting at Howie’s home with a surprise engagement party planned for their return, only Kevin and Hollie had helped Howie to the airport. Not that he needed much help, because Howie was actually standing on his own two feet, without the need for his crutches, though he brought them to increase the surprise when he let them fall to the ground while proposing. It seemed surreal, because no one ever assumed they would be at this point – Howie making a fully recovery from a hellish nightmare that had held them for so long. And now, with faith behind him, he was preparing to marry the woman that made everything possible.

“Don’t tease Daddy!” Lucy threatened, hopping down from Hollie’s arms to skip toward Howie. “He’s asking Mommy a very special question!”

“That’s right, Sweet Pea,” Howie breathed, trying to gather his courage. He had spent the entire weekend planning what he thought was the perfect speech. He wanted this moment to be the most memorable milestone in Nicola’s life. She had taught him so much during the accident. But, most importantly, she loved him unconditionally.

“And what important question is that, Lucy-Lu?” Hollie questioned, gently running her fingers through Lucy’s blonde locks.

“If we can live with Daddy,” she answered simply.

“Well, you would think you already do with the number of times we catch Howie just before he gets ready to sleep with M—”

“Hush,” Howie shushed, glancing toward Hollie with a warning glare.

“Well, Mom always said why buy the cow if you can have the milk for free?”

“Because I love the cow—” Howie groaned as Hollie and Kevin started to laugh. “Not funny!”

“We know, you think Cola Pop is absolutely beautiful,” Hollie promised, not wanting to flabbergast him before the important proposal. “And she’s definitely not a cow.”

“Must you always make my life a living—”

“MOMMY!”

The breath caught in Howie’s throat as he heard Lucy’s excited voice declare Nicola’s presence. He turned from his friends to catch Nicola’s brilliant smile as Lucy jumped into her arms. Her reddish blonde curls were tied into a high bun with several curls falling already. She wore pair of light olive Capri pants and a white button down shirt. She was a vision of loveliness, even in the most simple of outfits. And, just looking at her, Howie knew that his life would be perfect from the moment she agreed to be his wife.

“Mommy! You’re home!” Lucy breathed excitedly, furiously kissing her mother’s cheeks.

“Yes, ma’am, Mommy is home!” Nicola agreed with a soft laugh, kissing the side of Lucy’s curls.

“And Daddy has an important question to ask you!” Lucy continued.

“Oh?” Nicola murmured in surprise, her smile quickly fading as Howie stepped toward her. She had honestly been dreading this moment since Dr. Jacobs threat. The plane ride had been highly stressful, resulting in a mixture of tears and angry sobs hidden in the cramped bathroom. She didn’t know exactly how she would propose the breakup, but wanted it to be quick and simple. Hopefully painless. But she knew better than to wish for that.

“Are you going to let me ask the question, Sweet-Pea?” Howie chuckled, reaching to gently tug on an unruly lock. Taking several steps while allowing the crutches to fall limply to his sides to express a point.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Lucy apologized, affectionately leaning her head against Nicola’s shoulder.

“God… Howie, you’re walking…” Nicola murmured in amazement. She wanted to reach out and bring him close to her body for a sweeping kiss of pride, but kept that excitement maintained inside her bleeding heart. She blinked back several rounds of painful tears, trying to remain strong as Howie continued to smile, oblivious to her heart wrenching news.

“Yeah,” Howie chuckled with pride, demonstrating his ability to walk back and forth just a few short feet before returning to place his hands against her shoulders. “I wanted it to be a surprise for when you got home.”

“Well, it’s definitely a surprise…”

“A good surprise?”

“A good surprise…”

“Can I make it a great surprise?”

“What do you mean—”

“There’s a piece of art in your home that has the Footprints poem scripted along a single pair of footprints along this beautiful beach during a sunset. It says that God always carries us through the worst of times, no matter what hardships, He will always be there. But, as foolish as it was, I truly did abandoned God when I had my accident. I was angry at Him for taking away my entire life. But, then He gave me you, and you carried me through that horrible storm. I am so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. You showed me the world in a different light and gave me back my life. And…” Howie let his voice trail off as he slowly kneeled on one knee, revealing a gorgeous white gold, diamond ring. “I love you, Nicola. And I want you to be my wife, forever and always. So, will you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage?”

“God… Howie… No…” Nicola murmured in shock, pressing a hand to her now throbbing forehead. She felt the tears burst forth as she swallowed the hottest lump growing at the middle of her tightening throat. She wanted more than anything to say yes, but quickly remembered Dr. Jacobs’ angry threats. She couldn’t tempt fate and pushed away the never ending love she felt for Howie. Lucy had to come first.

“Nicola—”

“I can’t marry you and we need to stop seeing each other.”

“What? Why?”

“It was a business relationship and it really can’t go any further. I’m sorry for the pain and confusion I caused, but am thankful that you’re completely healed. You’re destined to do great things with your life, Howie. It was great working with you.” Then, with her fake declaration made, Nicola hurriedly turned from him to conceal her burning tears. She hurried away from the lobby, unable to witness the damage she had created.

And everything went black in Howie’s world.

Chapter 50 – Depressing Conversations

“You’re telling me that she turned him down? That she said no?”

“Yes, before he could even get back into a standing position.”

“Why?”

“We don’t know…”

“Well, how is he?”

“We had to take him to the hospital after she crushed his heart… Honestly! How do you think he is, Nick?”

“Kev means that he’s really shitty at the moment.”

“Yeah, but the worst part is that he’s given up everything he accomplished since her.”

“What do you mean?”

“He won’t walk—”

“Stop talking about me,” Howie mumbled pathetically, finally wheeling himself into the living room to find the somber faces of his closest friends after listening to the hushed whispers bouncing off the walls of his lonely home. He had been in bed for an entire day after passing out at the airport, but would have stayed longer if it wasn’t for his unwelcomed guests. But, the news had spread quickly that Kevin and Hollie had rushed him to the hospital only to find that he suffered from a severe drop in blood pressure. After a few hours of observation, Howie was sent home, because there just wasn’t any cure for a broken heart.

“We didn’t know you were up…” AJ trailed, immediately glancing down to his hands. He felt so horrible for his best friend, especially when the others were so much in love. To see them exuberant and filled with such bursts of life had to be hard and for once, AJ was at a loss of words. He wasn’t good at these types of uncomfortable situations – that was usually Howie’s area of expertise.

“Well, I’m up,” Howie growled, stopping his wheelchair at the threshold of his living room. He looked far worse than any of the boys had expected. His usually styled mess of curls was wild and frantic as he tossed and turned through terrible nightmares of Nicola. His dark eyes were murky as a stagnant mud puddle as heavy black bags settled beneath them like a foul bank of land, any spark having disappeared long ago. His postured slumped over the old wheelchair, barely able to maintain an upright position as he stared glumly toward those who considered being his close friends. He was so distraught over Nicola’s decline of his proposal that he really didn’t consider their feelings with much regard. He wanted to be left alone in his misery. “And I want to be alone.”

Kevin’s emerald eyes grew surprisingly large at the request, “D—”

“I want to be left alone,” Howie repeated, his voice curter. He had no patience to play games.

Brian quickly stepped in to attempt some kind of peace. “Howie, we’d like to stay—”

“Are you deaf or dumb?” Howie growled with disgust, seeming to fit back into his old shell of anger and malcontent that occurred during the beginning of his rehabilitation with Nicola. “I said I want to be alone.”

“Are you sure that’s smart?” Nick questioned as the others started to stand with discomfort over the situation. He knew that he had tendencies to act foolishly when it came to serious situations. That’s why he attempted to stay silent as Brian, Kevin, and AJ tried to mend Howie’s broken heart. But, the others were giving up so easily that it actually made his heart crack. He couldn’t stand to see Howie in so much pain again. Not after what happened before; especially when Nicola was so special for Howie.

Kevin attempted to swallow a groan of frustration, knowing that Nick could possibly only escalate the situation to dangerous proportions. “Nick—”

“No, I think I need to say this,” Nick disagreed quickly, pulling away from Kevin’s grasp like a belligerent child. He immediately glanced to the second oldest of the melded family, biting down hard on his inner cheek as the words gathered into a mess in his brain. “Howie, I’m worried about you. You’re my second biggest brother and I love you. So, I don’t want to leave because I think you’re going to do something stupid.”

Everyone instantly knew what Nick was referring to, but no one had the heart or the courage to respond. An uncomfortable silence permeated through the already thickened air, causing everyone’s posture to straighten with flinches. Their gazes just instantly flicked toward Howie, praying he wouldn’t erupt into hysterics. But, that was far too hopeful for this murky situation. Howie’s brown eyes instantly darkened dramatically at the suggested as he clenched his hands tightly on the arms of his wheelchair. His voice was soft and taunting, causing chills to race down the other men’s spines. “It wouldn’t be a stupid decision, Nick. And it’s not your choice to make anyhow. It’s my miserable existence and my miserable choice, okay?”

“Howie—”

“Get out,” Howie finally hissed, pointing straight toward his front door. He was aggravated, annoyed, and tired. He absolutely refused to play these silly games when his heart was aching. “Now! Right fucking now!”

“Damnit—”

Brian quickly reached to place a hand against AJ’s shoulder, stopping his sentence from progressing any further. Instead, he tilted his neck to motion toward the front door. It was impossible to argue with Howie at this point, especially when he was grieving so terribly. They could only exit as Howie had requested, then call his family to ask to check back on him somewhat frequently through the night. The men seemed to understand Brian’s wise decision, shuffling toward the door without explanation.

“We’re only a call away, D,” AJ whispered.

But he never responded as they left.

Instead, Howie glanced around his living room, feeling tears of aggravation starting to gather behind his dark brown eyes. Lucy’s toys were still scattered about his living room as a sign of his previously perfect life. The Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, was still in his DVD player, paused at Lucy’s favorite part where Ariel and Eric entered the hidden lagoon for a foiled kiss. They had both assumed they could clean it later after Howie took Nicola out for a romantic dinner to celebrate the engagement. But, cruelly, life never seemed to work according to plans. Especially his plans.

Remembering AJ’s final words, Howie wheeled himself over to the phone and answering machine. He noticed that the answering machine was blinking with one message and his heart skipped several beats. He could only hope that it was Nicola’s voice, pleading for him to give her a second chance, but that thought didn’t comply with his pessimistic thinking. He didn’t believe he was that fortunate. Nicola was so adamant in her refusal of his proposal and never looked back when she scooped up Lucy. She wasn’t coming back - ever. So, with his original hope deflated, he clicked the machine to replay the message:

Howie, Sweetheart, it’s Darcy… The boys told me about Nicola. I can’t believe she would deliberately break your heart like that. I told you she was no good and I’m sorry you got hurt. She’s nothing but a cheap trick looking for her next big break. She just used you and I hate her for that… And…I know that we ended on bad terms, but it doesn’t change how I feel for you. If you ever need to talk, or a shoulder to cry on, you know my number—

“Bitch!” Howie immediately cursed, reaching to yank the machine sharply away from the wall. He heard plaster crack from the energy behind his disgust, but he didn’t care. Instead, he started to slam the somewhat smaller machine repeatedly against the side of his desk. Small chunks started to fly as he continued to curse Darcy and her manipulative behavior. He should had known from the beginning that she was no good. Yet, he refused to believe it until Nicola showed him the truth.

Until Nicola showed him real love…

God, how he truly missed her…

*~*~*

“I WANT DADDY! NOW! NOW! NOW! MOMMY, I WANT DADDY RIGHT NOW!”

Nicola immediately began to rub her throbbing temples, actually starting to pray to God that Lucy lost her shrill, little voice that was becoming sharper by the moment. It would have been a miracle, but Nicola truly believed she was in Hell. So miracles weren’t exactly an option. Even as she stared at the ceiling, waiting for God to strike her dead, Lucy continued to perch at the end of Nicola’s cold and lonely bed, screaming for Howie. The little girl had been devastated when Nicola ripped her away from the airport terminal without so much as a goodbye to her father. As hard as it has been for Nicola to say goodbye, she believed it might have been far more devastating for her child who had never had a father figure. Lucy had come to idolize Howie and trust him as her father. It had been cruel for Nicola to rip him away so quickly, but Lucy would have been the same nonetheless. She was too young to understand the finer points, but some things remained quite clear. Her mother had taken away her father.

“Lucy, please—”

“NO!” she screamed.

“Lucy-Lu—”

“NO!” she screamed louder.

“Lucille!”

“I HATE YOU!”

“Lucy—”

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“Regressing back to the truly terrible two’s that Lucy never had?” Hollie’s voice floated toward Nicola as Lucy ripped out of the room to only slam her bedroom door. She had heard the screaming from downstairs and decided just to enter the house. Nicola had been unreachable for several days after her breakup with Howie, which caused Hollie to worry. She didn’t understand why the breakup had occurred at all. She could only hope that Nicola would give her some kind of explanation as to the misunderstandings and hopefully she could fix things before any more drama occurred.

“Not funny,” Nicola groaned pitifully, attempting to sit up as a sharp wave of nausea overcame her weakening body. She instantly brought both hands to her stomach as if to steady its churning, but she deserved the pain. Uneasily, she brought a shaky hand back to run it through her strawberry blonde curls. Nothing felt right since she said goodbye. Her stomach ached as a throbbing headache developed. Her temples pounded with the rush of blood as her entire body started to ache sharply. Her heart was breaking into pieces and she was absolutely miserable without her love.

“Well, she doesn’t hate you, Sweetheart.”

“Oh, trust me, she does.”

“But—”

“It’s like I killed her Daddy all over again.”

“…She’ll get over it,” Hollie attempted, not knowing how to comment on Nicola’s previous statement. She swallowed a heavy lump forming in the middle of her throat, never expecting that this would be so difficult. Slowly, she seated herself of the edge of the large bed, just watching Nicola carefully. The woman was completely wrecked from the disaster at the airport. It looked as if she hadn’t had the strength to shower, her strawberry blonde curls wildly askew against her forehead and tumbling to her shoulders. Her skin was dusky with a heavy paleness that made her look sickly. Dark, heavy bags settled beneath her usually beautiful emerald eyes, creating a haunting look that caused Hollie to frown deeply. Hating that Nicola was in such pain, she attempted to sit on the side of the large bed, reaching to place a hand on Nicola’s shoulder.

“No, she won’t,” Nicola sniffled, rolling onto her side to stare at her wall instead of her best friend. “Because I’ll never get over it.”

“Oh, Nicola—”

But her words were lost as Nicola tumbled out of bed, rushing toward the bathroom to relieve her heartsickness by any means necessary as her stomach cramped.

God, how she missed him so...

Chapter 51 – Unfixable Sorrow

“Kev? Kevvy? Baby?” Hollie called softly as she opened the front door to her boyfriend’s lavish home. She peered around the living room to find it empty as Kevin’s voice crackled on the intercom, alerting her that he was downstairs. She wasted no time, turning directly toward the basement steps, hurrying down toward the production studio Kevin had rigged in his soundproof basement. The best equipment known to the producing world had been purchased for this downstairs kingdom, making it a personal haven for Kevin whenever he had any sort of stressors that needed relaxed. And that’s where she found him, hunched over his desk as his heart poured forth some of the most beautiful lyrics known to man. She usually loved watching him work, just perching herself on the side couch in silence. His working lyrical mind was one of the most fascinating qualities about him, but things had changed drastically when Nicola told Howie goodbye. Now she was just anxious to speak with her boyfriend, bound and determined to keep him no matter what the hardships. “Hey, Baby.”

“Hey, Sunshine,” Kevin retorted, pushing his leather chair away from the large desk so Hollie could nestle into his arms. He offered a gentle kiss to her forehead as a proper greeting. “How are you?”

“Miserable.”

“Likewise…” Kevin mumbled into her short blonde locks after freeing them from her messy ponytail. He buried his face into the softness, inhaling the sweet scent of her favorite shampoo. Everything seemed to fall apart when one of the boys was hurting and God how badly Howie hurt at that moment. Kevin wanted to make things right between Howie and Nicola, after all, they had been the reason that he found his lover. Hollie was such a key component in his life. He truly would have been lost without her. Within her dark sapphire eyes lay his entire world. He would forever be indebted to Nicola and Howie, but they needed a miracle that Kevin simply couldn’t muster from his powerful will.

“How’s Howie?” Hollie questioned softly, brushing her fingertips down Kevin’s thick arm as he continued to hold her close. She closed her eyes as he buried his face deeper into her straight locks, knowing that the answer was possibly more dreadful than the original question.

“I wouldn’t know…”

“What do you mean?”

“Howie kicked us out.”

“He…”

“Is upset,” Kevin finished with a sharp sigh, rubbing her back. “He doesn’t want anything to do with us. He just kept repeating that he wanted to be alone. He’s falling apart like when the accident first happened. He’s back in his wheelchair and miserable as Hell.”

“Then do something about it.”

“But And he’s a grown man, Hol. It’s not like I can order him around…”

“You do it to Nick all the time…”

“Hollie…”

She sighed dejectedly, “…Sorry…”

Kevin nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “How’s Nicola?”

“Miserable and I think she regrets her decision. She won’t admit it, but I can see it in her eyes... And poor Lucy is taking it harder than anyone could imagine. She keeps arguing with Nicola and says she hates her. It’s tearing them apart… I can’t stand to watch it anymore… It’s so heartbreaking… I just don’t understand why she did it.”

“Likewise. If they love each other so much, why?”

“She won’t tell me,” Hollie answered softly, burying her face into his neck.

“So, what do we do?” Kevin sighed. “Hope for the best?”

“Hope hasn’t exactly followed Nicola through her life…”

“That’s all Howie ever believed in. God and hope.”

“Then… We’ve got to make them meet in the middle.”

*~*~*

Howie grimaced with the aches and pains of his declining body, hating every fiber of his entire life while he pulled himself back into the wheelchair. After Nicola had left him, Howie’s very essence of determination had crumbled, leaving him far more crippled than the actual accident. The physician’s spoke of Howie having a psychosomatic disorder, meaning that nothing was physically wrong with his legs, but his mind was refusing to let him walk again. He really didn’t care about the diagnosis and chose not to bother with his life. Everything was far too tainted after Nicola turned down his marriage proposal and he still couldn’t stop thinking about how depressing her soft green eyes looked when she turned him down. It was as if she knew all along that they weren’t perfect for one another and dated him out of some sort of pitiless pity. All this time she had been letting him live a lie.

How could she have done it?

How could she have pretended to love him?

Didn’t he deserve to be treated like a human?

Or maybe he really was just half a man?

“God,” Howie breathed as a painful sob formed a thick lump in the middle of his throat. Bowing his head in shame, he furiously pushed himself out of his bedroom where they had spent so many endless nights making love. He couldn’t have asked for a more exciting lover and she seemed to anticipate him as much as he listened to her body’s needs. Yet, he couldn’t stand to remember the feeling of her soft body beneath his as they united as one perfect being as his heart start to bleed with raw pain. If he thought too hard, he could even taste the sweetness of her skin and hear the quickening of her heartbeat as she softly moaned his name in delight. Shuddering with pain, the sob finally broke loose through Howie’s hardened shell, causing him to stop in the middle of the living room. He leaned forward in his wheelchair, bracing his chest as he started to freely sob with all the hurt Nicola had caused in her wake.

“Howie!” Kevin called in surprise, entering a scene that he obviously wasn’t prepared for. He cursed underneath his breath in pain for the younger man, attempting to kneel by the wheelchair to place a supportive hand on Howie’s shoulder. He and Hollie had decided to visit Nicola and Howie separately in hopes to reunite them. They wanted to first understand Nicola’s dismissal of the proposal and then hopefully build from that. But, any chance that Kevin had to speak rationally with Howie was obviously broken. “Hey, D.”

“Get away from me,” Howie hoarsely replied, wiping away the furious tears so Kevin wouldn’t pity him.

“D, I just got here—”

“Makes it twice as easier to leave.”

“Howie, I want to help—”

“I don’t want your help.”

“Howie—”

“Leave!”

“I’m not leaving!”

“FINE! I’LL FUCKING LEAVE THEN!” Howie instantly snapped, throwing Kevin’s arm off his shoulder. Kevin attempted to reach for him again, but Howie violently pushed Kevin backward. The older man crashed to the floor, giving Howie a means of escape. Hotly, he wheeled toward the front door to take the wheelchair ramp, coasting toward the sidewalk before Kevin could even reach him. He didn’t want help, because no one would ever understand. The fact remained that he just couldn’t stand the pain anymore. So, he had to get away.

*~*~*

Nicola rubbed her blurry eyes in disbelief, glancing at the white stick again in astonishment. She had tried to deny the fact since breaking up with Howie, but the signs had been there before the trip to Miami. The queasiness of her stomach, morning sprints to the bathroom to relieve her aching stomach, and tender breasts… She had just suppressed the knowledge, assuming she could work through the details with Howie at her side. In fact, she had been slightly happy at the thought, hoping that Howie would welcome the addition. Yet, that was no longer possible as she remembered how she had ripped Howie’s heart from his ribcage and practically devoured it whole in front of his friends and family, denying his request for marriage. The look of his painfully beautiful brown eyes still haunted her throughout the mournfully long days. And now she would have a permanent reminder of the only lover she ever dreamed of wanting.

“Cola-Pop?” Hollie voice called as a gentle tapping beckoned Nicola away from her thoughts. She lurched from her position on the toilet, fully prepared to launch herself on the door, but it was too late. Hollie had already slipped through the door and was fully aware of the situation. Her dark blue eyes went wide in sheer amazement, causing Nicola to bow her head in soft shame. “Nicola…”

“I know…” Nicola whispered painfully.

“You’re pregnant?”

“I…” Nicola couldn’t even form the proper words as salty tears started to fall down her light caramel cheeks. She was so upset that this had happened again. She had hoped she could get over Howie with time, knowing that she had done everything to protect her daughter. But to have a child by the man she left behind was heart wrenching. She didn’t have the strength.

“Is that why you broke up with Howie? Because, Sweetheart, Howie would be so happy that you’re pregnant. He wanted to marry you and he doesn’t even know about the baby. It’s not like you’re forcing him into it. If anything, it would just make the marriage even sweeter. Lucy deserves to have a baby sibling and you deserve to be loved—”

“No,” Nicola interrupted with a painful whisper.

“I don’t understand—”

“I didn’t have a choice, okay?” Nicola confessed, tossing the pregnancy test into the trash. She pushed away from Hollie and sulked into her bedroom, collapsing onto her large bed. Only, when she rolled onto the left side, she inhaled the soft scent of Howie’s linger cologne. Heavier tears started to flow as she was reminded of the times they had curled together late at night, softly making love as to not rouse Lucy from her slumber of precious dreams. It was those intense passions that had created the child growing in her womb.

“What do you mean? Cola-Pop, please just talk to me,” Hollie encouraged, gently rubbing Nicola’s back to soothe away the pain.

“I ran into Dr. Jacobs at the conference…” Nicola slowly started, burying her face into Howie’s pillow for a moment. She exhaled a painfully shaky breath, unable to stand the sweet smell. So she turned toward Hollie, unable to hide back her pain anymore. “He’s been hitting on me since I started working for him. I managed to bypass all his innuendos and ignore the come-on’s… But then he threatened that he’d take away everything from me if I didn’t say goodbye to Howie…”

“He can’t…”

“He was going to tarnish my reputation because I was dating a former client, not to mention when Trevor committed suicide… He could spin it toward his colleagues and get my license taken away… Then Lucy would get taken away from me… I can’t lose her… Not my daughter…”

“God, Cola-Pop, you can’t let him take control. He doesn’t have the right to say who you love—”

“He’ll take away Lucy!”

“Cola-Pop, please listen to me—” Only, Hollie’s pleas were drowned by the incessant ringing of the phone. She attempted to speak above the noise, but the message left over the answering machine caused Nicola to lurch in pain.

Nicola? Hey… It’s Kevin… I know you really don’t want to hear this, but… God, I don’t know what to do. I went to visit Howie and he just fell apart. He’s so lost without you. We’ve been trying, but he loves you so much… He left and… I don’t know where to find him… He needs you so much, Nic. Please… We need you… Dear God, Howie needs you…

Chapter 52 – The Tragic Ending

Howie could hardly see as he wheeled himself along the busy sidewalks of Orlando’s city populations; the tears practically searing his already bloodshot brown eyes. Not that it truly mattered to him, because the pain in his heart was incomparable to any physical pain that he could possibly feel. He truly wanted to end his life if he couldn’t have Nicola by his side, but things weren’t that easy. He was a devote Catholic and knew that suicide was a mortal sin. It was a sin that would cost him an eternity in flames without the chance to even see Nicola in Heaven. So, he was forced to suffer through the sharp aches, attempting to find something to soothe him. Anything to soothe him. But he knew that was impossible, too. When Kevin had tried to soothe his worries, he had just reacted harshly, blowing up at the kind, older man for only trying to help. But, Kevin just didn’t understand. Howie didn’t want the comfort, he just wanted Nicola in his arms again. It didn’t seem like such a hard request and he never asked for much, but, God, he prayed.

Her decline of his proposal was still a baffling mystery. They had devoted every moment of their time together to promising one another how much they truly loved each other and how wonderful they could make Lucy’s life. Everything had seemed so perfect before she left for the Physical Therapy convention. She had been so excited with the prospect of having her own clinic – one that she wanted to dedicate to Howie. Hell, they had even made passionate love before putting her on the plane, actually almost making them late for the flight. Howie couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had insisted on one more hug, one more caress, one more kiss… If he could only find a way to fix her broken heart. He was willing to change for her. Whatever she needed – he would be that. He just needed the chance to prove himself. To prove that he could love her like no other. But how?

Hoping for some kind of answer, Howie wheeled himself toward the boardwalk in search of the special spot Nicola had taken him the evening he truly decided to propose. She had told him she found it during the most desperate time in her life, after the burial of her deceased husband. She had been looking for some kind of solace and God had pointed it out to here. It was an abandoned dock toward the end of the boardwalk in beautifully aged condition, perfect for a picnic just before sunset. The ocean seemed to glisten at that point, reflecting the rich tapestry of colors that sunset was always known to bring. She had planned everything so perfectly for him, coining it their ‘secret place.’ Howie had even taken a knife, like so many young sweethearts did, and carved their names in a hidden place on the dock that only they could find. So, he had no trouble finding it, following the boardwalk toward a somewhat busy intersection. Maybe it could give him comfort when Nicola was so far away.

Stifling a painful sob, he waited toward the edge of the nearby street, concentrating on the beautiful ocean lapping against the dock just in the near distance, imagining how sweet Nicola felt in his arms, never noticing the car barreling toward him at a dangerous speed.

*~*~*

Nicola’s lungs burned as she burst into a steady run down the streets of Orlando, the oxygen depleting quickly from her body as she pushed herself harder. Kevin’s frantic phone call had scared her tremendously, because Kevin had always been the calm man. He never got over-excited before analyzing the situation, except when Howie exploded. After Howie had disappeared in a depressed fury of tremendous hurt, no longer stable in his own emotions, Kevin had left the message on Nicola’s machine. She had been pressed to take matters into her own hands immediately. After all, Howie was desperate and frantic because of Nicola’s foolishness. So, she felt a desperately painful need to locate him as quickly as possible. She never could forgive herself if something terrible happened to him. She loved him too much and she had to tell him before he did something stupid.

She knew exactly where he would be running to, because part of her heart had been infused with his as their relationship blossomed. In fact, she knew him better than she knew herself. All his wants and needs were easily read in his rich chocolate eyes and the mere reflections of emotions on his handsome face. The way he practically begged for a kiss as his lips curved into a sly smile and his hands curved around her. The way he laughed softly when she made an adorably frustrated face after burning dinner, knowing they could easily order out and spend the night curled comfortably on the couch with Lucy dozing on them. Easily, he would draw her near and place the tenderest kisses to the most sensitive portions of her body, causing her to tremble with a dark desire. They would then take their passion into the bedroom where everything about them was revealed in a beautiful dance of passion. Nothing was left untouched or without a sweet kiss. Sweet nothings whispered with promises of a golden future. And when the hot passion died into a warm ember of delight, she would gaze into his smoldering dark eyes and find a need that could never be fully appreciated in a spoken language.

Why had she been so damn ignorant to let him go?

Gasping for air, she stopped at the intersection leading to the special dock and rested her hands gingerly against her aching abdomen. Sharp pains exploded against the backs of her legs, her muscles screaming for a mere break, but she couldn’t stop. Swallowing a lump against her dry throat, she pushed herself upward in attempts to depress the button for the ‘walk’ signal across the intersection. Only, as she depressed the button, she noticed Howie at the opposite side, frozen at the corner of the street with his face folded into his hands. He looked to be sobbing softly, but Nicola’s body wilted against the metal light pole with relief.

“Howie--”

Only, her words were lost as she noticed a familiar car barreling toward Howie with dangerous speeds as the light switched to a menacing red. But the car never stepped on its breaks to slow, in fact, it accelerated with a hard rumble of the powerful engine. And, in the splitting of a second, the car tires screeched with a powerful wail as the front bumper connected hard with Howie’s wheelchair. The sound of metal bending and glass breaking was deafening as Nicola released a horrified scream, watching Howie’s body fly hard into the middle of the intersection and crumple against the asphalt like a broken marionette.

“Howie!” Nicola screamed with a sharp shrillness that probably could have shattered glass. She thought nothing of the dangers as she raced into the middle of the crowded intersection, barely recognizing the other sounds of screeching tires veering in attempts to avoid the hazardous situation. She didn’t care though. Nothing seemed to matter at that moment but her tremendous amount of love and adoration for Howie. She had forgotten all about Dr. Jacobs’ meaningless threats, knowing she was nothing without Howie by her side. She just wanted to tell him how much she truly loved him and how sorry she was. She prayed to be forgiven. “Howie!”

Her heart hammered heavily against her already aching chest, stumbling toward the glass littered road in order to fall on her knees beside her hurt lover. The pulsation of the blood racing through her system tapped loudly in her ears as she grew numb. Already sobbing, she gingerly reached to carefully brush away the glass shards that had embedded into his handsome face. Blood seemed to coat every surface of his body, causing Nicola to gag on heavier sobs. But, she didn’t care, meticulously wiping away the blood with her already ruined shirt as she held him close. She whispered silent prayers to him, begging for him to awaken. But he was unresponsive, his chest barely rising to meet a steady, vital breath of air. And, in all her years of medicine, Nicola already knew the inevitable. There was no way that he could possibly survive this disaster.

“God, please,” Nicola begged nonetheless as she heard the distant wail of sirens, bending down to deliver a soft kiss to his cool lips as her tears washed away the blood. “Don’t take him away. I love him.”

Chapter 53 – Wishing Beyond Hope

Nicola was truly numbed to the very core of her already broken heart as her mind replayed the horrifying scene that had occurred just hours previous to her trance like state. She just stared off into the corner of the Emergency Room’s waiting area, holding her trembling hands nimbly against her lap. She blended well within the scenery, almost disappearing as silent tears followed a wet path down her pale face. Her dark emerald eyes reflected the losses she had suffered that day, wincing at the sounds echoing within the back of her throbbing head. The entire Rolls Royce had been demolished when it collided with Howie’s already broken form before careening into the nearby telephone pole. Time seemed to blur from the initial accident to the arrival of the police and emergency medical team. She barely remembered Darcy stumbling away from the massive wreck with minor injuries as handcuffs were slapped on her wrists when she failed the sobriety test. And as the ambulance had pulled away from the scene, Nicola continued to study the Rolls Royce spattered with heavy stains of blood as Dr. Jacobs’ lifeless body poked out of the shattered windshield. The paramedics had done their best to cover the deceased to wait for the coroner, but they had other pressing matters.

Howie.

He had been the most critically injury and was currently still in surgery as the police finished their round of questioning with Nicola, since she was the only reliable witness. She had barely been able to answer what they wanted to know however, but they seemed understanding about her state of being. Not that there was much to explain or unearth in this simple case. Dr. Jacobs and Darcy had been severely intoxicated when they started the engine of the expensive Rolls Royce, which had been Dr. Jacobs death. Darcy would be the one convicted after everything was said and done. Perhaps, there might even be two funerals to this horrifying story. That seemed to be the only thought Nicola could concentrate at that moment.

After all, she could only remember falling at his broken body with sheer disbelief. He was contorted and contracted, the wheelchair wrapped around him like a dangerous prison. She had first attempted to pull the cage away from his body, only successfully managing to wound her hands with the sharp edges of metal. Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes as she then attempted to close Howie’s wounds to get the bleeding to stop. But no matter how hard she pushed to stop the blood, it continued to spurt forth. And he was completely unresponsive despite what she knew would be causing him tremendous pain. Even as she continued to sob his name, he refused to stir as his vital liquids muddied the streets. She had said several prayers as she laid over him, kissing his scraped face, promising to never leave him again if he didn’t leave her now. But, it seemed so futile she sat in her chair, gasping for air. Nicola snapped her eyes shut and turned her head away from the emergency unit doors, wanting to forget the horrific scenes. “I love you, Howie…”

“Cola-Pop?” another voice questioned, causing Nicola to jerk in surprise. Standing from her chair, she noticed Hollie practically rushing forward to hold her. And Nicola didn’t disappoint as she threw herself into Hollie’s embrace, immediately sobbing into her older friend’s shoulder. Hollie had to take a few steps back in order to accommodate Nicola’s dead weight, but did nothing to push the younger woman away. Instead, she hugged Nicola close, kissing her sweaty locks. It had been horrifying when Kevin received the phone call that Howie had been taken to the hospital because of a car accident. Neither of the couple should have been driving, but they couldn’t wait. “God, Cola-Pop! It’s okay, Hon’! I’m here now, okay? Everything is going to be fine. Perfectly fine. Howie is going to be okay and you’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay--”

“Where’s my baby?” Nicola heaved, her body trembling fiercely within her friends arms. Her thoughts were obviously flighty and unorganized. She was a mess. A complete mess.

“I dropped her off at your mother’s house… Kevin is parking the car and the rest of the guys are on their way. Okay?” Hollie promised, trying to ignore the blood that stained her best friend’s clothing or the disastrous state she was in. It was hard enough to keep Kevin sane through this entire event, she couldn’t very well loose it now. Not when Nicola needed her most.

“She doesn’t know…”

“No, she doesn’t. I just said we were going to pick up ice cream.”

“She didn’t believe you, did she?”

Hollie laughed nervously, “Not in a New York Minute…”

“I’ll have to call her…”

“Just wait until we hear about Howie,” Hollie suggested as she led her friend back to the waiting area while Kevin hurriedly trudged over to them. Hollie offered what she hoped was an encouraging smile to her lover as he paled at all the blood practically drenching Nicola’s body. “You haven’t heard anything, have you?”

“Not yet,” Nicola whispered, bowing her head so she didn’t have to see Kevin’s pleading eyes. She knew the second their gazes connected, he would know what she saw at the accident scene. That he would know she didn’t believe that Howie would be coming out of this hospital without the doctor’s signature scrawled on his death certificate. It just wasn’t physically possible that Howie had survived.

“Do his parents know?” Hollie questioned, attempting to stir conversation.

“They’re on their way,” Nicola promised.

“What the Hell happened, Nicola?” Kevin finally asked, his voice hoarse with raw pain.
“He was crossing the street and a car collided into him,” Nicola breathed with a painful sob, covering her face with her injured hands. “The people driving were drinking… Dr. Jacobs and Darcy were drinking and they hit Howie like he was just some bump in the damn road… It’s all my fault…”

“Dear God…” Kevin breathed.

“Jacobs is dead… Darcy is at the police station right now… Howie is in surgery… And I’m just sitting here… Perfectly fine when I should be the one suffering… Not Howie…”

“Cola-Pop, no…” Hollie murmured in shock, reaching to rub the young woman’s back.

Kevin crouched down in front of Nicola as he watched her sob softly. “Nicola…”

“I love him so much…” she confessed.

“And you’ll get to tell him that again,” Kevin promised as he finally caught her gaze. And, just like she feared, Kevin read the trepidation coursing through her emerald eyes. “Nicola, you are going to get to tell him that again and you are going to help him get better again and you are going to tell him yes when he asks to marry you again.”

“Kevin, it’s not physically possible--”

“Him walking again wasn’t physically possible, right?”

“Technically, yes…”

“But he did walk again,” Kevin commented, his voice demanding when she didn’t respond right away. “Right, Nicola?”

“Yes.”

“So, he can do it again.”

“Kevin--”

“Howie Dorough’s family?” a soft voice interrupted, causing the three friends to lurch from their positions. They immediately turned toward the physician, studying him carefully. He appeared professional, which meant cold. There was no way to tell what had happened to Howie. No way to read it before the words fell from his lips. Nicola had to suck in a sharp breath as she clutched onto Kevin’s arm, allowing him to bring both her and Hollie into his embrace. He pressed firm kisses to both their foreheads as they each offered a silent prayer.

“That’s us,” Kevin answered.

“Well, this--”

“Just tell us if he’s okay,” Nicola whispered, not wanting to know specifics, but more importantly if Howie was still with them.

“He’s alive.”

Chapter 54 – Heaven Can Wait

Nicola exhaled a slow breath as she gently lifted Howie’s uninjured arm, taking great care in running the washcloth over it repeatedly to clean his body thoroughly. The dampness of the cloth left a soft glistening trail of water that caught against the brilliantly scolding sun of Florida’s beautiful weather. It had been over a week since the accident and Howie had yet to make any type of communicative response to those that had been visiting frequently. That much was expected, though. He had severe internal injuries when he was first wheeled into the emergency room. Both of his femurs had been practically crushed on impact. His spleen had been punctured and his lung had been ripped by one of the pieces of metal from the wheelchair that practically impaled him from the impact. The head trauma was severe, causing a great amount of swelling in his brain tissues, but he had survived. In fact, if he woke up, the doctors gave him a good prognosis. They didn’t see any serious nor permanent brain damage that would alter him. But, comas were just funny oddities in the medical field. Unknown and baffling. So, he maintained his silent state, oblivious to what happened around him.

But Nicola still maintained a shred of hope, visiting with him every day, taking care of him every day, and loving him like no other. She knew that he could possibly wake from the coma at any day, but felt his silence was perhaps punishment for abandoning him foolishly. She didn’t dwell on that though, just imagining the day he woke. It would just take an instant, as if he were coming out of some deep sleep. He would be groggy and disoriented, but she wanted to be there. She wanted to be the first thing he saw when he decided to come back. So, like always, she always started first with a bed bath so he would look comfortable for company. She hated the way that some nurses had no pride in taking care of their patients, especially those that were unresponsive. In fact, Nicola had taken over most of the duties the nurses considered meaningless, knowing Howie would have preferred her to do it anyway. Because she did it out of love.

“Y’know, Lucy is asking about you every day. She wants to know when her Daddy is going to come home and play Princesses with her again. This time, she wants me to be Aurora and you be Prince Phillip,” Nicola spoke softly as if he were awake, folding Howie’s blankets down so she could wash his chest. She ignored the various bruises, tubes, and bandages, taking care of his sweet flesh instead. He was still warm to touch and his skin always seemed to welcome her touch. She smiled softly when she remembered how she loved to lay in bed with him, offering the most gentle of kisses to his chest. So, she did so now, favoring him as if he were a sweet candy. It was hard to keep the tears from falling as she kissed him, missing him so terribly. “Of course, I told her right now you’re Sleeping Beauty…”

“Nicola…” a raspy voice mumbled out of no where, causing Nicola to look up from her tasks. And, she was shocked to find Howie’s beautiful brown eyes staring at her with obvious confusion. He was groggy and beat with exhaustion, but his eyes communicated everything within his heart. Shock and an overwhelming sense of loss at seeing his reflection in the depth of Nicola’s emerald eyes. It felt like ages since he had seen her last and the ache in his heart was far more raw than anything else reflecting in his broken body. Unable to help it, he immediately reached out with the arm Nicola had just cleaned, cupping her face in his hand. Gently, he stroked his thumb across her cheek, smiling softly at the warmth of her. He had to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. That she was really with him again. “…Nicola…”

“Morning, Handsome,” Nicola whispered with sheer relief, unable to keep the tears from flooding down her face.

“…You’re here…”

“And I’m not leaving. Not again. Not ever,” Nicola instantly promised as Howie’s thumb ran over her face to clear away her tears. They continued to fall, however, because she was just overwhelmed with such joy. She had prayed so hard that Howie would survive despite the dangerous odds built against him. Just like Kevin had said, Howie had walked when no one said he could, so what would make this any different? But, she couldn’t help but thank God repeatedly for this chance, knowing how precious it was.

“The last thing… The last thing I remember was this car…” Howie trailed, finding it somewhat harder to take a breath than he anticipated. The pain was uncomfortable, but not unbearable, especially as he looked into Nicola’s emerald eyes. She soothed him in ways that neither would probably never understand, allowing him to drink in the atmosphere without a terrible panic attack.

“It hit you,” Nicola admitted softly. “It was Dr. Jacobs and Darcy.”

“God…”

“Darcy’s in the legal system as we speak. Dr. Jacobs is getting prepared for his funeral.”

“He’s dead?”

“He died at the scene.”

Howie nodded briefly, not really bothered by the state of affairs since the accident. Darcy and Dr. Jacobs were a distant memory, one he could most certainly live without. God had dealt them their fates and Howie trusted that. Besides, he had only one concern at that moment while he pulled Nicola to sit at the edge of his bed. He captured both of her hands into his, ignoring the IVs racing through his arms and the sting of his slightly labored breathing. He only concentrated on her, drinking in her soul as he brought her hands to his lips. “And me? What about me?”

“The doctor is going to be able to explain it better than I ever could,” Nicola answered softly, affectionately rubbing her thumb across his still bruised cheek. It was as if she had never left his heart before the accident. “I mean, Sweetheart, you got hit by a car. There was a lot of damage, but nothing that’s going to be permanent. We’re going to work with you until you’re walking again. It’ll take a few more months, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. We’ve done it before. Right?”

“We?”

“We,” Nicola repeated with a firm nod of her head, releasing the breath that had stuck in her throat. She owed him an explanation. “Howie… I was so horrible to you and I was so lost… Dr. Jacobs had threatened to take Lucy away from me, because of what happened with my first husband and… He had a lot of pull in this city… And Lucy has always come first in my life… He said that I had to end my relationship with you to keep Lucy. She’s my life… I didn’t know how I could… How we could… With… I really can’t explain it any better… I am just so sorry--”

“It’s okay,” Howie hushed her softly, not really having to hear another word. In fact, her emerald eyes had given away more than her words had and he would always trust her. She was back and he was still hopelessly in love. He couldn’t deny her. Never.

“I love you so much, Howie…”

“I always loved you…” Howie promised with a soft smile, wanting to see the smile he had pined for. “That’s why I’m in this hospital bed again. I definitely jumped in front of that car, because I loved you so much to be your client again. And I happened to remember how much fun water therapy could be with you…”

Nicola laughed softly, cupping a hand over his mouth. “You’re horrible.”

“But you’re going to marry me anyway.”

Nicola smiled again, leaning to kiss him. “…Yes… I’m going to marry you anyway…”

“Really?”

“Really, I can’t spend another minute without you.”

“I’ve been waiting to hear that for so long, Nic,” Howie breathed, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“We’re going to have a perfect love, Howie, I promise.”

“We already do.”

“Then a perfect marriage on top of the perfect love,” Nicola corrected with a smirk.
“I can’t wait.”

“Good thing, because we’ve got about four months before I’ll start showing and refuse to wear a wedding dress that’ll make me look like some bloated baby beluga whale.”

Howie furled his dark brows in confusion. “Showing what?”

“Your beautiful child sleeping in my belly.”

“That’s a good reason,” Howie praised with pure joy, bringing Nicola down for a long, slow, beautiful kiss.

Chapter 55 – Epilogue

“Well, its official, she’s absolutely gorgeous,” Howie announced with a winsome smile as he crossed the warm beach to his beautiful family, having said quick goodbyes to Hollie and Kevin who were lounging lazily inside the lavish beach house they had rented for several weeks. It was tradition for the men to rent a beach house for chance at freedom and a bit of a vacation. But, this time, Kevin and Howie had decided to take their loved ones as Brian, AJ, and Nick made other plans for their vacations. Not that Howie minded as he glanced out to the small private beach, searching for his family. It gave him a chance to be selfish with Nicola. To celebrate his victory over the car accident that could have very well claimed his life over a year ago. But, he was healthy with only a small limp to show for the accidents. And it was truly surreal when he hurried along the hot, white sand, standing above Nicola, Lucy, and the newest addition to the Doroughs – Maria Yvonne Dorough. The little girl, now nine months old, was named Maria after Nicola’s mother and Yvonne after his late sister. She had been a miraculous birth, especially considering that her arrival had been unplanned. In fact, the pregnancy had been turbulent, Howie working so hard in therapy to overcome the damage that Darcy and Dr. Jacobs had caused. But he had prevailed for the sake of his wife, his daughter, and his unborn child. And, he had stood right at Nicola’s bedside, coaching her through the experience until Maria was nestled sweetly in their arms.

“I think Daddies tend to be a bit biased,” Nicola advised as Lucy wordlessly crawled over her legs to give Howie a spot on the large picnic blanket. Glancing up from her sleeping youngster, she watched Lucy grasp a pale and bucket, hurrying over to the pile of wet sand she had been collecting. Though halfway through her romp to the sand, she hurried back to throw her arms around Howie while smacking a kiss to his cheek. Nicola had to laugh, Lucy was indeed a Daddy’s little girl. Howie was perfection in Lucy’s eyes and Nicola agreed with the assumption, scooting closer to him as he sent Lucy off to play. Reaching to kiss the side of his face, she offered him their lightly swaddled infant.

“So, you don’t think she’s gorgeous?” Howie questioned, helping the infant pull the blanket away from her face as she released a small yawn at the transfer, turning to curl closer to her father’s bare chest. It always amazed him to watch her as she grew into a charming little girl. And, though he was partially biased to his daughters, he knew they were both breathtaking. Lucy with her straight platinum locks and large teal eyes, small and petite, but the smartest child in her class. And Maria was a small infant with a round, cherubic features, quiet and content with the world as long as she was being cuddled. She had no hair yet, which was normal considering her mother and older sister were bald till they were at least a year of age. And, she had the most stunning pair of warm, rich honey colored irises. She was perfection. Lucy was perfection.

“No, Mommies aren’t as biased as Daddies, so, I’ll settle for radiant,” Nicola laughed as she kissed his cheek, tucking her chin against his shoulder so she could watch Maria as well as Lucy. She always warmed at the image of her husband holding their young daughter. The ease of paternal love that flowed from Howie was one of his best qualities. Why she had been so eager to marry him when he proposed for the second time. And why Lucy had shouted ‘I do’ for Nicola at their small wedding ceremony upon the beach during sunset.

“I suppose I could settle for radiant,” Howie mused, leaning to kiss his wife quite tenderly.

“But I’m prettier!” Lucy declared from amongst her large pile of sand, suddenly caught within her parents’ conversation instead of building a dream castle for her princesses. “But only cause I got hair!”

“That was beyond random, Sweet Pea…” Howie glanced to Nicola with an amused smile and also for confirmation, though he was surprised by the serious cast to her beautiful facial features. “Is baldness is a factor of prettiness?”

Nicola shrugged with a soft smile. “She has a point.”

“So, if I was bald?”

“If you were bald what?”

“What would happen to us if I was bald?” Howie ventured.

“Nothing,” Nicola laughed with surprise, rubbing his shoulder. “You’re the father of my children. I wouldn’t run away because you needed a few hair plugs.”

“Then when would you run away?”

“What kind of question is that?

“When I go through my midlife crisis, will you leave?”

“No, I’ll help you pick out a pretty car and a toupee.”

“What about when I retire from the music business?”

“I retire with you.”

“What if I grew terribly ill, would you leave me on my deathbed?”

“Never--”

“But--”

“Baby, I loved you when your heart was paralyzed with fear more than your legs were paralyzed with your accident. I never stopped loving you even when I turned away from you. And that mistake is something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. But I’m never going to make that mistake twice. Trust me, come Hell or high water, you’re mine. You’re always going to be mine. Always,” Nicola enthused softly, hushing his doubts as she leaned to affectionately kiss his neck. “I could never part with you.”

“True…” Howie trailed as he shifted Maria into the car seat tucked safely underneath a large beach umbrella. His dark eyes showed signs of security with her statement as he grinned. Turning on the blanket, he wrapped his arms around Nicola’s bare midsection, pulling her down and tucking her within his embrace as they both faced the ocean and their eldest’s creation. Resting his chin in the crook of her neck, he sighed happily. “And I did keep you through your pregnancy...”

Nicola’s eyes widened in shock as she immediately turning onto her opposite side to face him. “What?”

“You pregnant was not--”

“You better watch what you say ‘cause third time’s a charm and I’m sure it’ll come back to bite you in the backside, Howie Dorough!”

“Third time’s a charm for what?”

“For a miserably pregnant wife.”

“Third time, but we only have… Nic, what are you talking about?”

“Well,” Nicola trailed with a proud smile, reaching to brush her hands down the sides of his face. “I’m no nurse or physician--”

“But a damn good physical therapist--”

“Who can take a home pregnancy test.”

“Oh, Nic… You’re saying… We’re… Again… Really?”

“I’m three months along and it’s a boy.”

“We’re naming him Howie Jr.!” Lucy giggled.

“Hardly,” Nicola laughed. “But I don’t mind Howard or Dwaine in his name.”

“Wait, we didn’t find out Maria was a girl till the fourth--”

“I don’t need medical confirmation, Baby.”

“Well, how do you know then?”

“Because I just know. Just like I knew I loved you the moment I met you. Just like I knew you would wait for me when I was scared to love you. Just like I knew you would be a terrific father for Lucy. Just like I knew we’d find our way back to each other. Just like I knew God would take care of you through both accidents.”

“And now?” Howie inquired softly.

“I just know that we’re going to have everything our hearts desire. A little baby boy in six months that is a mirror image of his Daddy with two gorgeous big sisters to take care of him and all the love in the world that any of us is ever going to need.”

“What more could we possibly ask for if you know all that?” Howie murmured as he reached to kiss her softly.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Absolutely nothing, because we have each other and that’s all we could ever ask for,” Nicola confirmed, reaching to kiss him once more before Lucy tugged them off to spend the rest of the day frolicking amongst the cool waves, thanking God for their chance to live life to the very fullest, basking in the warmth of their romance. The type of romance that would linger in the sweetness of eternity, forever destined for greatness because they knew how to overcome the burdening disasters together. Hand in hand. Heart to heart.