Brianna Chambers leaned back against the head-board of the hotel bed and exhaled very slowly. The pain in her stomach had ceased for the time being, but she continued to breathe deeply, just as her Lamaze coach had told her repeatedly to do. The pain she was experiencing wasn't bad--only as painful as menstrual cramps--and they couldn't be labor pains. She wasn't due for almost another month.

"Hey, Bree!" her best friend Bianca Parker yelled as she entered the large hotel suite.

"Hey, yourself," Brianna said as she rubbed her large swollen belly. "How did rehearsal go?"

"We did great!" Bianca exclaimed.

Bianca had been opening for the Backstreet Boys for nearly a year now. She had a large base of loyal fans of her own that filled the arenas in every town cheering her on, but every time Jive Records offered her a solo tour, she declined. Mainly because she wasted to stay near her boy-friend, none other than Backstreet's Nick Carter, but she also didn't want to leave her best friend Brianna. Brianna was engaged to Kevin Richardson and the two were planning to wed as soon after their baby was born as possible.

"How's my niece doing today?" Bianca asked in a baby voice. Brianna had talked to her baby since she first felt it moving inside of her and now Bianca did too. In fact, everyone, including the rest of the guys and the band, talked to it. "Bree, you're gonna have a girl. I can't tell you that enough."

Brianna laughed. Kevin thinks it's a boy because it kicks really hard. At night he sings to it. He'll lay his head on my stomach and just whisper away. He usually puts me and it both to sleep. But Kevin's happy and that's all that matters.

"You two are cute," Bianca complimented. "And it's so adorable to see you waddle around everywhere." A harsh look from Brianna kept Bianca from going any further about how large she had gotten.

"I haven't been waddling anywhere today. I'm still having those cramps. But I'll be fine. They don't hurt that bad. I haven't told Kevin, he'll get too scared, and I really want to go watch you guys perform tonight." Bianca and the guys had taken a break from their tour to perform at MTV's Movie Awards. "I feel so bad for missing so many of the last shows."

It was Bianca's turn to laugh. "I think you have an excuse! I'm surprised you're gonna go tonight. Aren't you nervous about going public with Kevin?"

"Definitely. I mean, all his fans know is that he's seeing someone. After tonight the whole world will know he's been engaged for six months."

"Bree, you said yourself that Kevin was happy. He finally wants to show you off. He loves you, why are you so scared?"

"It's been hell trying to keep anybody from finding out that I'm pregnant. The press is gonna jump all over the chance to tarnish their image. They're gonna have a field day with the chance to make them look bad and I'm gonna be a lot of bad publicity for them. I just don't want to see Kevin get hurt. But on the other hand, I'm tired of being snuck in everywhere, having to hide from photographers, and not being able to walk down the street with my fiancée." Brianna exhaled again slowly. "So I guess I am ready to stop lying to the public."

"They'd have to take it better than your parents did," Bianca said quietly.

"Yeah," Brianna agreed. "They were so happy at Christmas when I came back to be with Kevin and my mom, damn, she go so excited when Kevin called to talk to daddy about marrying me. Then they hit the roof when they found out about the baby. Mama said I had my whole life ahead of me and that I was throwing it all away. She says we're just getting married because of the baby. It's gonna be really hard not having her for advice and stuff. And I'm positive that Kevin's mom hates me."

"Baby, she doesn't hate you," came a deep voice from across the room. Kevin strode over and placed a kiss on Brianna's stomach through her satin pajamas. "Hey, 'Boose." he whispered to the baby before giving Brianna a long, welcome kiss.

Bianca raised her eyebrows slightly. "Boose?"

"Yeah," Kevin said, beaming proudly. "We're gonna call him 'Caboose' since all the other guys call me 'Train'."

"Him?" Rolling her eyes dramatically, Bianca told him, "I hate to disappoint you, Kevy, but that's a little girl in there. And she's gonna be a spoiled little princess just like her mommy!"

Kevin just chuckled and smiled at Bianca. "Well, Bean, I'm really sorry that Nick doesn't treat you as well as I treat my girl."

"I don't have to take this abuse," she retorted. "Bree, I'll be in my room if you need me." She tossed her hair over her shoulder with forced arrogance and stalked out the door.

"Now that I got rid of her..." Kevin began as he kissed his way down Brianna's neck and began to unbutton her shirt.

Brianna enjoyed the feel of his lips against the top of her breast for a moment before she pulled his face back to hers. "Please don't, baby, you know we'll just have to stop."

Kevin rolled onto his back exasperated and let out a long, low sigh. "Sorry, baby. I just miss you."

"I know, darlin'," she said snuggling into the bend of his arm. "You don't know what I'd give to be able to pull you on top of me right now, but we only have one more month."

Brianna thought before saying any more. "And just think, in a month we'll have the perfect little family," she kissed him on the forehead; "we'll be planning the perfect little wedding," she kissed the tip of his nose; "and after that, we'll have the perfect little life together."

"It'll be the longest damn month of my life," Kevin smiled down at her. "But when it's over, you better watch out, Chambers, 'cause I'm telling the guys I'm leaving for a week and me and you are gonna lock the door and fuck like crazy." Kevin began nibbling on her ear.

Brianna burst into laughter at his comment. "And what about the baby, Kev?"

"Oh, Bianca can take care of him..." his kisses were working lower.

"Hmmm, I don't think that's gonna work...But we'll find a way to make everything okay." Brianna licked her lips and leaned in to kiss Kevin, letting her tongue linger against his longer than she should have.

Kevin pulled away and wiped the hair from her face and placed his large palm against her round belly. "I'm ready to meet him," he whispered.

"Or her," Brianna corrected.

Kevin rested his head right above Brianna's stomach and closed his eyes, prepared to take a short nap before they had to dress for the awards that night. "I love you both," he whispered when Brianna ran her fingers through his lush black hair, leaving them against the back of his neck. Kevin was lost in sleep even before she could answer that both her and the baby loved him, too.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Knock, knock," Bianca called before walking into the hotel suite she shared with Nick.

Deciding he had probably gone to Brian's room, Bianca crawled onto the bed. Closing her eyes, she realized how exhausted she was. "I think a nap would be good," she said to herself when she looked over at the bed.

Lying down, Bianca settled into the massive mattress. Closing her eyes, she began to relax and doze.

She smiled inwardly when she heard the door to the bedroom open. She managed to keep her eyes closed and a straight face when she felt him slip into the bed with her.

"Baby," Nick whispered before kissing Bianca’s neck. "Bean, wake up, baby."

Rolling over to face him, Bianca opened her eyes and smiled. Snuggling into Nick's arms she asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost 3" he sighed. "That means we have to go in a few minutes to start getting ready."

"I'm a little nervous," she admitted with a shy smile.

"Don't worry, Darlin'." Nick kissed her tenderly. "This is no different than any concert you've ever performed."

"I guess," she replied unconvinced. "I know I'll never get over being nervous, but I hate getting like this."

"Bean just get on that stage tonight thinking 'I'm gonna be awesome and everyone here will love me' and you won't be so nervous," Nick smiled. "C'mon. Let's go so we can get ready. We have to be the best looking couple there."

Bianca just giggled as she took Nick's hand and followed him out the door.

****AT THE AWARDS SHOW****

Stepping out of the limo, Bianca, Brianna, Ivy, Nicole, and the five guys were blinded by camera flashes. Heading straight for the door, they heard a few gasps from the fans. Brianna knew they were all because of her.

Kevin took her hand and kissed the side of her head tenderly, whispering "baby, don't worry. I love you and that's all that matters." It really made for a beautiful picture, but one that wouldn't be appearing in any teen magazines. Brianna just nodded and clung tightly to him. No one could ever even begin to imagine how nervous she was.

The guys stopped for a quick picture and a couple of questions from a reporter. Brianna flinched slightly as the pain from earlier returned. Bianca noticed and asked Brianna if she was okay.

"I'm fine," she whispered back to her. Same old stuff, nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" Bianca questioned, concerned. "What if something happens?"

"Bean, you worry too much. I'll be fine," she said. The pains are nothing I can't handle and, besides, I'm a big girl! Nothing will happen!"

The continued walking, stopping occasionally for a picture or an autograph for an eager fan. Finally making it inside, they were directed to their seats and waited for everything to begin.

Bianca leaned her head back on her chair as Christina Aguilera performed “Come On Over.”

“Is this ever gonna stop?” she groaned. “This is so stupid.”

"Now what if she says the same thing about you while you’re on stage?” Brian leaned forward and asked Bianca.

“She probably will be, but I really don’t care. We don’t exactly get along like best friends,” she said with a fake smile.

Brian just laughed and sat back. Taking Nicole’s hand he leaned over and kissed her ear. “Having fun?” he whispered.

“Yeah, actually,” she smiled. Sighing, she added, “Bianca is right. This is stupid. I don’t like this song.”

Brian just kissed her ear again and squeezed her hand. He laughed to himself as he realized that Brianna and Ivy had the same expression as Bianca and Nicole plastered on their faces.

*************************************************************

Leaning forward and looking down the row, Kevin cleared his throat to get the attention of the other guys. “Let’s go,” he said. Leaning over he softly kissed Brianna’s lips. “I love you darlin’. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, I love you, too, baby,” she smiled sweetly.

“I have to go in a minute because I perform right after they present the award,” Bianca was talking to no one in particular. Looking at Brianna she asked, “Are you sure you’re gonna be alright?”

“Damn it Bean, I’m fine! Now go before I’m forced to kick your ass!” Brianna laughed as Bianca got up and made her way backstage.

“Fine, but I’ll be back,” Bianca whispered loudly over her shoulder to Brianna.

As soon as Bianca was backstage, a woman with a headset and clipboard grabbed her arm. “Let’s go Miss Parker.” The woman led Bianca back to where she would go onstage then walked away.

Bianca sighed as people bustled around her. There were people touching up her make-up, checking her hair, and getting her mic on her.

“So, you’re the Bianca Parker?” she heard an unfamiliar voice ask when everyone had moved on to someone else.

Rolling her eyes, she turned around to face the person. Her eyes widened when she came face-to-face with Brian McFayden.

“Yeah...I am,” she smiled.

“So, Bianca, I’m Brian-”

“Um, yeah, I know,” she interrupted. Blushing, she said, “I watch you when you do the news on MTV.”

“Yeah, I’m waiting on some news about you,” he smiled flirtatiously and stepped closer. “Do you know if I’ll be getting any that would be of interest to me?”

Bianca stiffened slightly and giggled nervously. She was relieved to hear her introduction begin. “Well, I’ve gotta go,” she smiled and turned to get ready to go onstage.

“I’ll see ya around,” Brian stated with a sexy wink.

“Now let’s all welcome the next act of the night,” Chad from 2Gether began, acting as though he was terrified of being on that stage.

“She’s the newest pop princess on the scene,” Jerry spoke up.

“Her debut album has gone platinum and her new single is climbing very quickly to #1,” QT flashed a flirty grin.

“So, let’s give it up for Bianca Parker,” they all announced in unison.

Bianca watched as the fog drifted around and she listened to the soft opening chords. They soon began to thump and the music picked up. With a cue from a stage-hand, she made her way onstage to a chorus of applause.

She began to sing, working the crowd from the very beginning. Her performance was upbeat, very high energy. She beamed as the crowd got more into her performance. Her dance moves were perfect; her voice, virtually flawless.

When she finished, she was out of breath and sweaty. The crowd was cheering and clapping. Bianca took a final bow and ran off stage.

She was immediately met by the same stage-hands from before. They got her equipment off and gave her a towel and a bottle of water. Everyone was hurrying to get ready for the next award.

“Hey, baby,” Bianca greeted Nick when she saw him backstage. Her smile fell when she saw his concerned expression. “What’s wrong?”

“We’ve gotta go baby,” he took her hand and pulled her to the nearest exit.

“Why, where are we going?” she asked getting scared.

“The hospital,” he pulled her out to a waiting car. “It’s Brianna.”

“What do you mean it’s Brianna? What’s the matter? Is she okay?” Bianca asked now regretting the fact that she had left her best friend knowing about those pains.

“She’s gonna be fine,” Nick kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand to reassure her. “She was having pains and they got kinda bad. I think she went into labor.”

Kevin paced back and forth in the emergency waiting room anxiously. On the other side of the heavy double doors he could hear the nurses working on Brianna. She was obviously in pain and Kevin's anger grew with each passing second. He needed to be with her now and was extremely upset that the doctor wouldn't let him go in.

They had all been backstage at the awards show when Trent, Kevin's personal body-guard, had rushed over to him to explain that Brianna was on her way to the hospital. Someone had found her lying on the bathroom floor bleeding slightly.

A.J. heard Brianna's mane and rushed over to Kevin and Trent. There was no way he was staying at the arena; He was going to be with Brianna. After he insisted, Trent agreed to let him go with Kevin. Bianca and Nick would be there as soon as she finished performing; Brian and Howie would stay behind to present the remaining awards the boys had been assigned to do.

Now, as Kevin paced, he wondered what could have went wrong. A.J. sat on the other side of the room wondering the same thing. Brianna had done everything her doctor told her to, took excellent care of herself and never missed an appointment--except the sonogram. She had said all along that she didn't want to see her child until it was placed in her arms. And she didn't care whether it was a boy or a girl; she'd love it just the same either way.

Hearing Bianca's voice, he looked to see her making her way over quickly with Nick close behind. She gave Kevin a hug before saying anything. "Is Bri okay?" her voice was filled with concern and she was obviously very scared for her best friend.

"I dunno, they won't let me see her," Kevin answered with an exasperated sigh. "All I know is she's in a lot of pain and I can't be with her."

Bianca began to pace as she waited for a doctor to come out and let them know exactly what was going on. She felt horrible that she had left Brianna alone. 'I would know what was going on and whether or not she was okay if I had been with her,' she thought.

"I feel like this is my fault," she began thinking out loud. "I knew she was having pains and I didn't do anything."

"Pains?" Kevin quickly looked at Bianca. "What kind of pains?"

"Cramps," she answered, now crying. Wiping her eyes she continued, "She told me they weren't bad and that she hadn't told you because she didn't want you to worry."

"You knew she was having problems and you didn't say anything? Are you stupid?" he asked in a loud, angry voice.

"Hey," Nick said, "don't start Kevin. We're all worried about Brianna."

Sitting down, Bianca put her head in her hands and began to cry harder. "Look, Kevin, I know you love Brianna, but don't act like I don't. She's my best friend and I'm scared to death. I know I should've told you and don't you think I feel bad?"

"I'm sorry, Bean," he let out sigh. "I'm just really scared. They won't tell me anything."

Bianca just nodded and let Nick wrap an arm around her. Looking over she spotted A.J. staring out the window. "I'll be right back," she told Nick.

Walking across the room she sat down beside A.J. "You okay?"

"Just worried," he answered, not looking away from the window. "I just feel helpless, ya know? Like I'm not doing anything, but I can't leave."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Bianca said, placing her hand on his arm. "She's gonna be fine, I know she will. Brianna's tough, you know that."

"Yeah," A.J. smiled slightly thinking about her. "She's definitely a fighter."

"I know. You can come over here with us if you want," Bianca offered.

"Nah, I'm okay. I'm gonna stay over here and wait for any news."

Bianca just nodded and went back over to sit beside Nick. None of them said anything, just waited and tried to be patient.

****Same Time****

"Okay, let's go," Brian said to Nicole and Ivy as he and Howie made it back to their seats from presenting the final award of the evening. "Does anybody know exactly what happened?"

"Brianna just got up to go to the bathroom and somebody found her. She had passed out and was bleeding," Nicole answered.

"I think she went into labor," Ivy added talking Howie's hand. "She was in a lot of pain."

"Does anybody know if she's okay?" Howie asked as they got into their waiting limo.

"No," Nicole and Ivy both answered.

When they got to the hospital a few minutes later, they found everyone still sitting around silently waiting. It was apparent they had still heard nothing.

Brian sat down next to Kevin and put a hand on his shoulder. "You know she'll be alright. Everything is gonna be fine."

Kevin just put his head in his hands and began to cry. "I just wish they would at least let me know she's okay and that the baby is alright."

"I know, man, Brian replied, squeezing his cousin's shoulder.”They should let you know that much."

Just as soon as Brian got his last statement out, a doctor came out. He was holding a clipboard and jotting down something. Looking up over the frame of his glasses, he glanced at everyone and spoke. "Chambers?"

Kevin stood and quickly made his way over to the doctor. "Is she okay? I'm her fiancée."

"Well, Mr.--"

"Richardson."

"Mr. Richardson, Miss Chambers is in labor now. It seems there might be a slight complication but at the moment we don't think she's in any danger."

What about my--our--baby? Is the baby okay?" Kevin's voice was pleading.

"At the moment there's no way to tell," the doctor said.

"Can I see her?"

"Not at the moment. It's going to be just a few more minutes. I'll send someone for you," the doctor answered shortly before going back into the E.R.

When the doctor was gone, Kevin broke down completely. "God, please let them be okay. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to them. You know how much I need them, he sobbed. Brian just squeezed Kevin’s shoulder again and silently prayed along with Kevin.

"What if something goes wrong? What if it's worse than they think and something bad happens?" He was talking out loud but only really to himself. "I don't know what I'd do. I'd go absolutely crazy."

"I know you would," Brian answered. "Just try not to worry, man. It won't do any good and you're gonna be sick. They're gonna let you go back there with her in just a few minutes. She's okay."

Nodding, Kevin let his tears fall silently. He couldn't help but be scared and worried. The woman he loved more than anything and his first child were in danger and he couldn't be with them. 'They can't expect me not to worry about them,' he thought angrily. 'They wouldn't be able to look past it that easily if it were them.'

Another doctor burst through the door as quickly as the first one had. Glancing over his young, tall, muscular frame Kevin scoffed inwardly. This guy looked to be younger than Kevin and couldn't possibly be any more than a Resident Assistant. Kevin's thoughts were wrong.

"Chambers," he called as he walked into the crowded room. Kevin stood. "I'm Dr. Bellows," he said without waiting for Kevin to speak a word. "I'm Miss Chambers' obstetrician now. Are you immediate family?"

"Well, no. She's my--"

"I'm sorry," Dr. Bellows said, intentionally cutting him of. "Immediate family only due to her condition." He kept walking towards the set of heavy green doors and left Kevin standing alone in front of everyone. Kevin had been on edge tonight and this was the last straw; he couldn't take anymore.

"Now you wait one damn minute," Kevin yelled before the doctor disappeared into the other room. Kevin stood right where he was in the center of the room and waited for Dr. Bellows to turn to face him from the door.

"Brianna is my fiancée. Just because she didn't have a band on her finger when she came in here doesn't make me any less important to her and it sure as hell isn't gonna keep me out here when she needs me back there." Kevin motioned with his hands as anger flashed n his steel-green gaze.

"And that baby that's fighting so hard in there would damn well count as my immediate family. So, if you don't let me through those fucking doors right now I'm gonna make my way through them and, believe me, you don't want me to do that." Kevin's fists were clenching and he gritted his teeth as he waited for the doctor to reply. The rest of the guys and the other random on-lookers all watched in shocked silence.

Dr. Bellows sighed and thought for a moment before walking back to Kevin. Putting his hand on Kevin's shoulder, he told him, "I know you're upset, Mr.--"

Richardson." Kevin interjected, still speaking through clenched teeth.

"Okay. Richardson. I just want you to know that according to out hospital policies my letting you in there is against the law. And what I'm about to do could damn well get my license to practice medicine revoked by the board of ethics. Understand?"

Kevin nodded and followed the physician through the doors. After slipping a green surgical gown over his head he asked Dr. Bellows, "What happened to the other doctor?"

"I'm going to be blunt, Mr. Richardson. Your girl-friend and your child are both in very serious condition right now and there's an extremely strong possibility that one or both of them might not make it through tonight. The other doctor didn't know what he was doing; if we had left Miss Chambers in his care she and the baby would most definitely be dead by now.

Kevin cleared his throat. That news had hit a little too close to home. "But you're doing everything you can right? I mean, she's okay now; they're gonna be fine..." Kevin was begging for the doctor to give him good news.

"I can't make any promises. I'm sorry. But I can tell you that I'm doing everything within my power to send you and Brianna home with a beautiful new baby.

"Thank you," Kevin said softly as he wiped his eyes.

"No problem, Kevin. That's what I'm here for. Now go scrub in and wash your face; I have to hurry. I’ll be in just a few minutes."

Kevin nodded and headed over to the large metal sink. Silently, he started a prayer in his head that he would repeat all night. 'Please, God, let them be okay...let Brianna and my baby survive...I need them...”

Kevin stood outside Brianna’s hospital room door almost paralyzed with fear. He was afraid to go in; afraid of what the doctor might come in and tell them. Kevin could tell that Brianna was crying softly on the other side of the door. Swallowing hard to hold back the lump in his own throat, he pushed the door open.

Brianna was lying on her back staring out the eighth story window into the night sky. Her diamond engagement ring caught beams of moon-light and reflected off the wall as she rubbed her stomach. She wasn't paying any attention to the world outside her room or to Kevin's entrance. She was lost deep in thoughts that were troubling to her. Tears had left tracks in her make-up and Kevin could follow the lines from her eyes to her chin. The long, simple black gown she had been wearing earlier at the awards ceremony was draped across the chair.

Kevin slid up next to her on the narrow bed and put his hand over hers. He kissed the side of her head and spoke quietly in his slow, soft voice. "Hey, baby. How do you feel?"

Brianna looked into his emerald green gaze. "They gave me a shot of something. I was hurting so bad. Baby, I'm sorry I ruined your night."

"You didn't ruin anything, darlin'. Those awards shows are too stuffy for me anyway. Just please tell me what happened."

"I was just cramping. I didn't think it was a very big deal. I started hurting worse and went to the bathroom. I guess my water broke but I was bleeding, too. I got up to go find somebody, but after that I don't remember much, except feeling like my legs were on fire." Kevin was running his free hand through her long, dark hair splayed across the pillow. "Baby, I'm scared," she whispered.

"Me, too," Kevin said, "but everything's gonna be okay." But Kevin didn't believe his own words. Talking to Brianna had made Kevin even more afraid. She wasn't acting right. She was too woozy, almost lethargic, and her skin was burning up. Her voice was raspy and hoarse and her speech was slow, draggy, and deliberate. While Kevin watched, her eyes closed slowly and she passed out.

Kevin leapt from the bed and ran for the door; Dr. Bellows was standing right outside. Kevin explained what had happened quickly and the doctor disappeared down the hallway. From inside her room, Kevin could hear Brianna's heart monitor beeping quickly and he knew that wasn't supposed to be happening.

"Brianna, baby, wake up!" Kevin called in a forced cheerful voice when he went back through the door. He wet a rag with cold, soapy water and started rubbing the make-up from her face. "Get up, Boo. Please wake up. Bree, please, baby, come on..." Finally she looked over at him and let out a low groan.

Dr. Bellows came through the door with three other nurses and set to work talking to the nurses in words Kevin didn't understand.

"What's going on?" he managed to say over the commotion. Kevin squeezed Brianna's hand as they wheeled the bed down the hallway.

"Brianna's been having contractions all along. Physically, she's ready to have this baby, but the baby's not responding to anything and that's not a good sign. When we get her to delivery we can tell more."

Kevin looked down at Brianna who was wide awake now. "I love you, baby," he choked as they hooked her up to more machines. He looked out of the way and watched as his while world lay in the hands of a man he didn't know. 'God, he promised he'd do everything he could. Now you have to help him.'

****************

A.J. paced anxiously through the waiting room, back and forth in front of everyone. "Kevin could at least let us know something!"

"A.J., he's kinda busy right now, you know," Bianca shot back. The tension in the waiting room was thick and everyone felt it.

"Well, we want to know what's going on, too!"

"Damn, A.J. The way you're stressin' you'd think that was your baby in there." Bianca was quickly losing her temper with him.

"Well it would probably be a whole hell of a lot better off!" The words were out of his mouth and hanging in the air before he realized it and he stammered, trying to correct his mistake. "All I mean is that Kevin has a lot of growing up to do. He's not ready for a family."

"And you are?! I'm sure Kevin would love to know that those words came from your mouth. You’re the one that drank and got laid by a different whore every night after your sorry ass girl-friend left you!"

A.J.'s face flushed and he turned away. Angry tears stung his eyelids and threatened to spill over onto his cheeks. He wanted to tell Bianca that he knew things about Kevin that she didn't know. And that he hadn't done anything more than Kevin did while Brianna was gone. But he bit his tongue; he didn't reply with anything.

Over his shoulder, he heard Brian tell Nick that he, Nicole, Howie, and Ivy were going back to the hotel because they were only in the way. Nick walked them down to the lobby. A.J. glanced back at Bianca and she glared at him. It was just him and her now.

"What?" he asked, his patience wearing thin under her hateful glare.

"Why are you so damn worried A.J.? Everybody here's worried about Bri and you act like you're the only one that matters."

"I care about her as much as anyone. Even YOU, Bianca."

"I never said you didn't care, A.J. I'm just saying you're acting like none of us give a shit."

"Damn it, Bianca just drop it, okay? Your bitchin' isn't gettin' us anywhere."

You're an asshole, A.J.," she said and walked away, leaving him staring out the window. He heard her grumble, "You need to get over your fucking attitude."

"I'm not the one with the fucking attitude. If you weren't bein' such a bitch we wouldn't have a problem."

"Alright, I'm sick of you." She started toward him when the elevator doors opened and Nick walked out.

"Bean," he said as he caught her hand, "why don't we go down to the lounge and get something to drink." He knew by the looks on their faces that they needed to be separated. "A.J., you want anything?"

"Nah, man, you got it covered," he said cutting his eyes at Bianca. When Nick wasn't looking she shot him the middle finger.

****************

"Brianna, I need you to push a little harder for me, okay?" Dr. Bellows begged.

Brianna just nodded in a semi-conscious state. The clock on the wall had read 9:22 when Brianna had been admitted. Now, at 3:17 a.m. and after over 5 hours of hard labor, she was exhausted and in more pain than she had felt in her entire life.

Kevin was scared and had been watching the doctor until he had picked up a sharp pair of surgical scissors. Deciding that right then that he didn't have the stomach to watch Dr. Bellows open Brianna up any more, he walked back to her bedside. Kevin brushed her wet hair from her forehead and looked down at her. "How ya doin', Boo?" He flinched as she squeezed his hand with a force that felt inhuman.

"This hurts so much, Kevin," she said trailing off to bear down and push with all her might.

"That's good, Brianna. The head's almost out. After that, it's all downhill. This is the hardest part of the whole process."

Brianna gave one more big push and the sound of an infants screams pierced the chaotic noise in the room. After that, the baby slipped out easily. She barely had time to catch her breath when the contractions started again.

Kevin looked at the doctor expectantly but couldn't see his face between Brianna's knees. "Doc, what's going on?"

"Well, Kevin," the doctor said chuckling, "it looks like the other one wants out, too."

"Other one?" Kevin choked. He looked down at Brianna with her eyes jammed shut and her teeth clenched together. Amazed, he held back tears; she had just brought two of his children into the world and he had been fortunate enough to watch both little people come out of the one woman he loved more than anyone in his life.

Exhausted, Brianna fell back onto her pillows sobbing from a strong mixture of joy, pain, and relief. Kevin kissed her deeply and helped her cry.

Through tears, Kevin took in everything about his new babies--the look on their faces as they met mommy for the first time on the outside, every prune-like wrinkle on their tiny, slippery bodies, the smell of the brand new skin and hair, and the way their little fingers curled around his big ones.

Kevin and Brianna only had their newborns--one boy and one girl-- for a brief second before nurses took them to small incubators on the other side of the room and hooked them to machines similar to Brianna's. They had been a month early and needed help breathing.

Kyra Sheyanne Richardson had made her grand entrance at 3:49 a.m. that hot June morning weighing in at 5 pounds and 2 ounces. Ten minutes later Christian Bailey Richardson followed his "big" sister weighing 4 pounds and 15 ounces.

Shrill beeping filled the room and Dr. Bellows snapped to attention. Brianna's grip went limp in his hand and a nurse studied the papers coming from her heart monitor carefully. The doctor was busy with the babies.

Kevin surveyed the scene desperate to help, but unwilling to leave Brianna. Still and silent, he looked back over at the crib-like machine across the room. Brianna lay motionless and eerily still in front of him; the babies were quiet in their crib. Aside from the bustle of the doctors and nurses, the room was too calm. Brianna, Kyra, and Christian--his FAMILY who meant everything to him--were all silent and Kevin could feel his heart pounding in his throat. A feeling of impending dread gripped his stomach and all of a sudden he felt like throwing up. The room swam in front of his eyes and Kevin could hardly catch his breath. It was almost as if he knew...

In the course of the next two hours Kevin's world would start to crumble and the joy that he felt at that moment would slowly diminish. He would lose part of his heart...soul...life: a member of the family he had fought so hard to build and waited forever to gain...

“Bianca, wait!” Nick yelled from his place in the waiting room. Jumping from his chair, he pulled Bianca off of A.J. “Bean, what’s gotten into you?”

Bianca tried to break away from Nick and get back to A.J., but Nick’s grip around her was too strong. “Nick, he called me a fucking whore!”

A.J. just glared at Bianca smirking. He had hit her where it hurt -- her image -- just like she had gotten him earlier when she had thrown off about his worry for Brianna. Maybe he had gone a little too far, but he didn’t care...he wasn’t going to apologize.

It had all started when Bianca spouted off about how she couldn’t believe she had ever been interested in A.J. He had retorted that he “was only interested in you to start with because I thought you’d put out like all the rest of the pop-diva ho’s!” Before he could say anything else, Bianca had knocked him to the floor and was on top of him. No matter how angry A.J. ever got he would never hit a female, so he covered his face and laughed at her, which only made her angrier. That’s when Nick snatched her away.

A hospital security guard rounded the corner to handle the situation. “What’s going on in here? he asked as he entered the waiting room. “Do you think that just because you’re celebrities that you’re immune to this hospital’s rules and regulations?”

Bianca’s face flashed angrily and she pointed her finger at the guard. “No, we think that you need to fuck off and let us worry about our friend in peace.”

“Bianca, settle down,” Nick said rubbing her arms. “Getting us thrown out of here isn’t gonna do us any good.”

“But it’ll do the hospital and these other people some good. Which is why I’m telling you right now that you have five minutes to leave.” The security guard stood looking pointedly at Bianca and Nick.

“But what about him?” Bianca yelled throwing her hands in A.J.’s direction behind the guard.

“Well, young lady, he didn’t give me the trouble you have.”

“Sir,” Nick started, “I think that we--”

“No excuses!” the guard interrupted, raising his voice for the first time. “Now, you have three minutes left to get out of my sight before I have you thrown out.”

“I hope you’re happy, bastard,” Bianca said to A.J. before she turned to leave. When they reached the elevator, she started to cry. Her best friend was going through God knows what, she had gotten thrown out of the hospital, her hair was falling, her make-up was long since gone, and the beautiful green dress he was wearing was wrinkled, torn, and stained from the lifetime’s worth of excitement that had happened in the past few hours. Nick slid his arms around her shoulders and let her cry.

********AT THE HOTEL********

Walking down the hallway, Bianca let out a defeated sigh. She was tired, angry, hurt...the list went on and on. She’d never admit it, but everything AJ. said had hit her hard. Feeling Nick squeeze her hand, she tried to smile. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Of all the dumb questions...No, shithead, I’m not okay!” Instead, she said aloud, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I want to take a hot shower and go to bed.”

“Nick, Bianca, what are y’all doing here?” Brian asked. He had been on his way to get ice. “Is Brianna doing okay?”

“How the fuck should we know?” Bianca snapped.

Stung, Brian looked at Nick for an explanation. Nick just shrugged and mouthed ‘long story’. Brian nodded and gave Bianca a sympathetic look. She was now trying, with no success, to get the room door open.

“Nick...” his name came out a quiet but frustrated sigh. She felt completely stupid and she was upset with herself for biting Brian’s head off and for getting herself and Nick thrown out of the hospital. “I hope Brianna and the baby are okay.”

“Bean, baby, do you need anything?”

“I just want to go to bed. That’s what I want and need to do. I’m not okay either. We should be at the hospital instead of here. Thanks to that....that....ugh.”

Wrapping his arms around her, Nick pulled Bianca close as she cried. “I’m sorry, Nick....I really am.”

“Shhhh baby. You don’t need to be sorry.” Pulling her down with him on the couch, he comforted her until she fell asleep. Picking her up, he carefully placed her on the bed, still in her gown. Placing a kiss on her forehead and one lightly on her lips, he whispered, “I love you.”

********

Soft, heavenly eyes gazed into me
Transcending space and time.
And I was rendered still
There were no words for me to find at all.
As I stood there beside myself
I could see you and no one else.

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe, I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you

I’d never be, I’d never be the same.
Only once in a lifetime love rushes in
Changing you with the tide.
And dawn’s ribbon of light
Bursts through the dark
Wakening you inside
And I thought it was all untrue
Until there all at once I knew.

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe, I fell so deep.
When I saw you
When I saw you
I’d never be, I’d never be the same.

With no beginning and
Without an end
You’re the one for me
It’s evident
And your eyes told me so
Your eyes let me know...

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe, I fell so deep.
When I saw you
When I saw you
I’d never be, I’d never be the same.**

Kevin stood outside the thick glass and peered in at the sleeping children on the other side. His babies were at the back, in big machines with heat lamps and special devices to help them breathe. Tagged simply ‘Richardson; Boy’ and ‘Richardson; Girl’ they lay still beneath the huge lamps.

“There are two of them?” A.J. asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” Kevin sighed, beaming proudly. “Kyra and Christian. Aren’t they beautiful?”

“They’ve got some of your features, man, but the lucky little runts look like their mom.”

A.J. was right. They shared both Kevin and Brianna’s thick, black hair which made their parents happy; they didn’t want a bald child. Both Christian and Kyra had inherited Kevin’s piercing emerald gaze and Brianna’s soft facial features. Kyra had her mother’s full mouth and Christian, his father’s strong jaw line, visible even now through all his baby fat.

“Hey, Kev. Thank God neither one of ‘em was born with those caterpillars over their eyes like you’ve got.” A.J. just laughed and Kevin shot him a go-to-hell look.’

“Well, Kev, I’m gonna go in and speak to Bree.” Kevin didn’t even hear A.J. He was still staring through the nursery window when A.J. walked down the hall.

********

A.J. knocked softly on Brianna’s door. When he didn’t get an answer, he walked inside. “Hey, superwoman. How ya feelin?”

Brianna rolled over lazily and looked into A.J.’s eyes. “Exhausted. It feels weird not to have my big, round tummy anymore. I’m sure walking will be a whole lot easier now, but I don’t feel like trying it just yet. Is Bean coming in? I kinda wanted to talk to her about something.”

“She, uh, went back to the hotel. With Nick. I’m the only one still here.” A.J. didn’t feel like Brianna needed the stress of feuding friends so he left out the argument. “Yeah, she was really tired after the performance and all that anxious time in the waiting room.”

That was a slap in the face to Brianna. BIANCA was tired? BIANCA left her best friend in a strange hospital in a strange city on one of the most important nights of her life so that she could go back to the hotel and be with her boyfriend. Brianna took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Oh, yeah. I can see why she’d be tired.” She had never been this hurt by her best friend in her entire life. “Well, she’ll probably drop by in the morning.”

“I’m here, Bree. I know I’m not Bianca, but I’ll listen.”

She dissolved into tears when he took her hand. “A.J., something’s wrong with Christian. I just know it. They took Kyra off all of her machines a little while ago and she’s doing great. But Chris is struggling. He can’t breathe. His lungs are fill of infection and Dr. Bellows doesn’t think he’s going to make it. I can’t bear to tell Kevin; it’ll kill him and he’s so happy.”

A.J. nodded silently. He didn’t know what to say. “Bree, baby, everything’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

Brianna just nodded. “I hope so,” she whispered.

********

“Hello, Kevin,” Irene answered stiffly. She wasn’t too fond of Kevin or his relationship with her daughter. When he called to ask permission to propose to Brianna, Irene thought that maybe she had misjudged Kevin, but then she found out he was only marrying her because she was pregnant. Irene had begged her daughter to leave; come back home to North Carolina, put the child up for adoption, and then maybe have a shot at living a normal life, but Brianna refused. Irene hadn’t spoken to her daughter since New Year’s Day.

“I just wanted to let you and George know that Bri had the babies. A boy and a girl.” Silence. “Kyra Sheyenne and Christian Bailey Richardson.” Silence still. “Oh, yeah. They’re doing great. All 3 of them,” Kevin snapped sarcastically.

“That’s wonderful, Kevin. I’m glad to hear that you and your little family are doing so well. I wish you the best.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

The click Kevin heard as she slammed down the phone was deafening. What Kevin didn’t know, however, was that in their big house down in North Carolina, George and Irene Chambers were crying.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**"When I Saw You"--Mariah Carey

Kevin had been sitting on the floor outside Brianna’s hospital room for so long his body was numb. He could hear Brianna talking to A.J. inside. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly; she sounded as beautiful as she looked. Her voice always sounded so sweet to Kevin whether she was talking, singing, crying, or laughing. He was just about to get up and go inside when he heard someone approaching.

“Hey, Kev. Why are you sitting out here all alone?” It was Bianca.

“Oh, hey,” Kevin smiled. “I, uh, just got back from the nursery and I was listening to Bri. She’s talking to A.J.”

“Yeah, I’d watch that shit, too if I were you.” Kevin was confused, but before he could say anything Bianca had plastered on a fake smile and went inside.

“Hey Bree,” Bianca poked her head in the door. “How ya feelin sweetie?”

Brianna smiled. She knew her best friend wouldn’t let her down. “I am so sore. Those little angels sure did feel bigger than they look.”

“I can’t even imagine,” she sighed. “I’m really glad you’re okay.” Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she looked down. “I wish I had been here.”

“It’s alight, Bean. There’ll be other stuff for you to be there for.”

”Yeah, that’s true, but my best friend just had her first baby. That’ll never happen again,” she said, casting an almost hate-filled glare toward A.J.

“Actually, her first and second. Um, you missed ‘em both,” A.J. snickered.

“What?” Bianca was very confused. “What are you talking about?”

Kevin beamed broadly and slid into the bed next to Brianna. Slipping his arms around her, he snuggled against her body and kissed the side of her neck. “Bri had twins. A girl and a boy,” he told Bianca proudly.

“And they’re beautiful just like their mommy,” A.J. added, looking at Brianna, who was blushing. “I saw them earlier.”

“Well, it wasn’t all my fault I wasn’t here. Some of us were lucky,” she once again shot daggers at A.J. “I can’t wait to see ‘em, Bree. I bet they’re so adorable.”

“Actually, the last time I saw ‘em, they were still gooey,” she smiled. “They have to stay in special incubators and the nurses told me they wouldn’t advise me to get out of bed. But A.J.’s right; they’re both beautiful. They have my nose and mouth and Kevin’s green eyes. Tons of curly black hair. They’re the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Me and Kevin just fell in love with both of them.” Looking over, Brianna saw the tears in Kevin’s eyes as he looked back at her.

“Aww...” Bianca beamed. “I can’t wait till I can hold them. I bet they’re so tiny and just....aww...I love babies. ‘Aunt Bean’. That sounds good.”

“Not quite as good as ‘Uncle A.J.’” he volunteered. “No, I like ‘Uncle Bone’ better,” he finished with a grin.

“Yeah, what the fuck ever,” she rolled her eyes. “They need to know that Uncle Bone is an asshole that will get them in trouble. Lots of trouble.”

Kevin just laughed and nuzzled Brianna’s hair. “Nothing sounds as good to us right now as mommy and daddy. Right, boo?”

“Yeah,” Brianna agreed in a soft voice. “Hey, A.J., why don’t you take Bean to the nursery to see Kyra and Christian?”

“Fine,” A.J. mumbled. “C’mon hoss. Visiting hours are almost over. Besides, I think they want to be alone.”

“Don’t ever call me that ever again you prick,” she pointed her finger in his face and pushed past him. “You’ve probably already worn out your welcome anyway.”

A.J. just rolled his eyes and followed her into the hallway grumbling something under his breath. “Stop being a bitch A.J., damn,” Bianca huffed. “You’re as bad as a woman.”

“Yeah. So are you,” he said smiling. “When you grow up to be one, little girl, I’ll agree with you, but right now your words are going right over my head.”

“You know what, A.J, just drop it okay?” she said, fighting the urge to slap him. “I wanna see the babies, not listen to you.”

****IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM****

Kevin sighed and ran his hand over Brianna’s forehead. Opening her eyes, she looked at him and smiled. “Do you know how much I love you?” he asked, his voice filled with emotion.

“Yeah, but you can tell me again. I don’t mind at all,” she smiled and placed her hand on the side of his face. “I’m really happy.”

“Baby, I didn’t know anyone could be this happy.” Placing a line of kisses from her forehead to her mouth, he let his lips linger against hers. He brushed her hair out of her face and smiled. “I’m so lucky....I have you--the love of my life--and two beautiful babies.”

“I love you baby.”

“Darlin’, I don’t intend on ever letting you go,” he laced his fingers in hers.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” she kissed him lightly before they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

********

“Well, they’re down here,” A.J. said walking down the hall. When they turned the corner, the nursery was in full view in front of them. “Kyra and Christian are in the very back.”

“No, they’re not, Mr. Wizard. Kyra’s right here,” Bianca said pointing to the front of the glass window. “She’s the only ‘Richardson; Girl’ in here. Besides, that incubator’s empty. I don’t see Christian anywhere.”

A.J.’s eyes scanned the group of babies. “He’s got to be in there somewhere. I was just down here with Kevin a few minutes ago. Maybe they’re just feeding him or something.”

“Wouldn’t they take him to Brianna for that? And they would’ve taken Kyra, too.” Bianca read the nametag on ever crib slowly. “There’s not even a Richardson boy listed. A.J., what if something’s wrong?”

“Let’s not think like that.” A.J. glanced around for a nurse that could tell them where the infant was. Spotting a candy-striper rocking a baby in the corner, he tapped on the glass.

The young girl came out of the nursery cradling a blue clad child in her arms. “Can I help you?” she asked politely.

A.J. lifter the blanket from the baby’s face. It was bald, pale, and had deep brown eyes. “Cute kid,” he chuckled trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness, “but not the one we’re looking for.”

Bianca took A.J’s arm and turned her eyes to the nurse. “We’re looking for the Richardson boy. Christian. Can you tell us where he is?”

“I’m sorry, Miss. I’m not allowed to say. The parents are the only people we’re allowed to give that sort of information to.”

“But please,” A.J. begged. “We’re very good friends of...”

“Kevin and his girlfriend. I know. I do recognize your group,” the girl replied.

“Thanks,” A.J. said blushing. “Who’s your favorite Backstreet Boy?”

“Nick.”

“Thank you,” Bianca said. “My boyfriend is a cutie, huh?”

“Back to Christian!” A.J. snapped at both of them, causing them both to jump.

“Sorry,” they replied in unison.

“I still can’t tell you anything, A.J. We’re not allowed.”

A.J. sighed in defeat. “I understand.”

“Yeah,” Bianca added, “sorry we bothered you.”

“It’s okay,” the nurse said. She moved the baby to her shoulder and resumed her spot in the rocking chair.

Bianca turned back to the window and looked down at Kyra. “She’s so pretty. She’s just as perfect as I’d want my baby to be.” She ran her finger over the cool glass.

“Yeah,” A.J. agreed. “Believe it or not, I can’t wait to have kids one day. I’m kind of jealous of Kevin right now.”

“Yeah, but with my schedule I’d better just stick to playing with Bree’s new family. To be honest, though, I’m kind of jealous, too. It feels kinda weird when your best friend has a baby,” Bianca laughed. “Bree’s always wanted kids. A whole house full.”

“She’ll make a great mom,” A.J. replied. “She’s done a pretty good job with you.”

“Thanks,” Bianca said sarcastically. “Let’s go grab some lunch in the cafeteria and give them some time alone. Then we’ll come back and find out about Christian after we eat.”

****SAME TIME: KEVIN AND BRIANNA’S ROOM****

“Come in,” Kevin said pulling his lips away from Brianna’s neck. Thinking it was only Bianca or one of the guys, Kevin resumed kissing his way down to Brianna’s shoulders. A deep voice cleared its throat from the doorway and Kevin looked up. Sitting up, he slid his arm around Brianna’s shoulders and greeted Dr. Bellows with a nod; Brianna smiled and put her hand on Kevin’s knee.

“Sorry if I, uh, interrupted anything,” Dr. Bellows started. Clearing his throat again, he continued, “I have some bad news.” He walked over and sat down on the end of the bed.

Brianna swallowed hard to push down the lump in her throat. “What is it?” Kevin was silent. He didn’t know what to expect.

“Well, one of the...uh, Christian...shit. I don’t have to do this often at all. Everyone on my staff did everything they could. I’m so sorry. We lost Christian.”

Brianna closed her eyes and listened to Kevin start to cry. His arm slid from her shoulders as his sobs got louder. Brianna held his head against her shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck. “Where is he?” Kevin finally asked.

“He’s in the morgue, Kevin. In the basement. He’ll stay there until you and Brianna decide what to do with him.”

“What do you mean ‘what to do with him’?” Kevin asked defensively.

“Well, some people find that it’s easier for them to handle if they never actually see the baby. The hospital just handles the body.”

“NO!” Brianna said sharply. “That’s my baby,” she said in a hoarse voice. “Not yesterday’s garbage.”

“I understand--”

“She’s right,” Kevin added, getting up to pace the room. “I want my son buried in Kentucky. Next to my...my daddy.” He looked at Brianna pleadingly as the tears flowed again.

Brianna nodded. “Whatever you want, baby. I’ll understand.”

“I’ll leave you two alone, then.” Dr. Bellows got up to leave the room.

“Wait,” Brianna said. “What about Kyra?”

“She’s fine. Doing great. A nurse will probably bring her down for a feeding soon. I’ll leave you two alone now.”

When Dr. Bellows left, Kevin slid up next to Brianna again and laid his head on her shoulder. She could feel his tears puddling against her neck and she felt his body shaking, but he was completely silent. “Baby,” she whispered, “are you okay?”

“No,” he choked back.

“Me either.”

Kevin slid his arms around Brianna and they cried, holding each other. “I’m sorry, baby,” she told him.

“Bri, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have helped anything. You heard the doctor. We all did everything right.”

Brianna nodded silently, rubbing Kevin’s back as he cried over his lost little boy. She knew how badly he had wanted a son and how over-joyed he had been the first time he had held Christian. Kevin was already planning a future full of father-son talks, camping trips, days away from mommy and everything else real daddies do with their little boys.

Brianna’s heart ached for Kevin. He had lost his own father far too early in life and now had list his first son. She was going to miss having two babies to love and she felt like an actual part of herself had died with Christian. Brianna tightened her grip on Kevin and let her own tears fall. They still had each other and Kyra, but Christian’s death still hurt. Kevin twirled her hair around his fingers and Brianna rubbed his neck and in the cold darkness of her hospital room the both cried themselves to sleep.

“They’re asleep AJ. Maybe we should let them sleep for a little while,” Bianca said peeking into the hospital room. “I mean, considering everything she’s been through, she sure as hell does deserve the rest.”

“Kevin probably had sympathy pains. That’s why he’s so tired,” AJ laughed. Seriously he said, “You’ve seen them in bed together before, right? Are they always so…clingy? It’s like they’re stuck together. That must be hot.”

“Ya know, come to think of it, they’ve never really seemed that close when they sleep. Not that I can remember. They’re always close, but not usually that close,” Bianca replied. “I mean, Brianna snuggles, but damn. They’re…they seem so desperate.”

“I think we should go in,” AJ said. “I have a bad feeling.”

Following him into the room, Bianca walked to the other side of the bed. She placed a hand on Brianna’s forehead and sad down. “Bree?” she whispered. “Bree, sweetie, wake up.”

“Hey, Kev,” AJ began, “Y’all okay?”

Slowly, Kevin and Brianna began to wake up. Kevin shook his head as if ridding himself of thick, sticky cobwebs and Brianna rubbed her eyes. Suddenly, the harsh reality of the situation hit her and she burst into tears.

“Bree? What is it darlin’?” AJ asked, his alarm rising with her every gut wrenching sob.

Kevin enveloped her tiny, fragile frame; her tears seemed never-ending and she was unusually pale. She looked like she had been trough chemotherapy or some other treatment and the side effects were catching up.

“Bree, baby, calm down, okay?” Kevin spoke softly with his lips pressed against Brianna’s head. “I love you, Boo.”

“What’s the matter?” Bianca asked, fearing the worst. Saying a silent prayer she took a deep breath and asked, “Is it Christian?” Bianca could feel her own tears forming. The little human being that would’ve been her “nephew” was gone. Brianna and Kevin didn’t have to tell her. No matter how hard she prayed, she knew it was too late.

“They did all they could,” Kevin’s voice was hollow and sounded nothing like normal. “He was just too weak.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Bianca said. This was one moment when she didn’t know what to do. She wanted more than anything to provide comfort for Brianna and Kevin; saying “I’m sorry” just seemed stupid and meaningless, but she said it. What could you say? Her best friend lost her baby and was torn apart. There didn’t seem to be anything she could do to help.

“Why? Why did my baby have to die? It’s not fair that he was taken from me so soon,” Brianna said, the anger evident in her voice. Burying her face in Kevin’s shoulder, she began to sob again.

“She just needs to rest,” Kevin stated exhaustedly. Bianca and AJ nodded and headed for the door. “I’ll call you if we need anything.”

**LATER**

Bianca and AJ sat across the lobby from one another, waiting for their friends to arrive. The silence was uncomfortable and murky with tension and it seemed to be lasting forever. Bianca closed her eyes and leaned her head on her hand, trying to relax. Just as she began to doze, the elevator doors opened, filling the lobby with noise.

“Hey, you,” Nick sat down beside Bianca and slipped his arm around her shoulders.

“Hey,” she forced a small smile, trying very hard to look happy. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Are you okay?” Nick’s voice and expression were full of concern.

“I’m fine baby. Just a little tired.”

“Hey, why don’t you come with Ivy and me to the cafeteria to get some coffee? You look like you could use it,” Nicole smiled.

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

“Bean, you can go. Get a little something then come on back. If anything happens, I’ll come get you,” Nick said giving her hand a squeeze. Kissing the side of her head he added, “You need something. You haven’t eaten anything today. Go!”

“Okay, fine. C’mon Nicole. C’mon Ivy.”

As soon as the doors to the elevator closed, Brian asked, “What’s going on?”

Taking a deep breath, AJ sighed. “Well, there were some complications. Apparently Christian was very weak and after they had done everything possible, the doctors finally had to give up. They lost Christian this morning.”

“Oh, no. Man, how are Kevin and Brianna? I know they can’t be taking it well,” Brian said, his voice full of emotion.

“No, they aren’t taking it well at all. Bree basically broke down and Kev is well on his way. They needed some time alone,” AJ answered. Pinching the bridge of his nose he added, “I’m really worried about them.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Howie asked.

“Not right now. All any of us can do now is wait.”

**INSIDE THE ROOM**

“Bree, baby, we’ll get through this. Christian is better off now. He’s not suffering and that’s better than having him live a life of nothing but pain.

“Yeah, but I just feel like he was cheated somehow. He didn’t deserve to die; he was too young. Christian should’ve been able to live his life--a normal life full of events that were only important to us because he is our son. That’s all I wanted for him, Kevin, but he’ll never have any of that. It just doesn’t seem fair.”

“There’s nothing we can do, baby. He’s gone. I hate that, but it won’t change. As much as I wish it would, I know it won’t. But we still have Kyra, baby. Our daughter. She needs us, Bree. Kyra needs us to be strong so we can take care of her. We can’t let her down.”

Nodding, Brianna sighed. “I know. You’re right, baby, but it just hurts.”

Kissing Brianna’s forehead, he sighed and let his lips remain on her head. “I know is hurts, darlin’. I know it does. We’ll get through this, I promise. I love you darlin’.”

“I love you too, Kevin.”

**********

Nicole, Ivy, and Bianca sat at a table in the cafeteria. The entire room was quiet and the girls sat staring into their cups of coffee. Ivy finally spoke. “Did they know anything was wrong with Christian?”

“Apparently not. Kevin and Brianna just found out. It was terrible,” Bianca said. Sighing, she continued, “Brianna completely broke down when they told AJ and me about it. She’s my best friend, but I’ve never seen her quite like that.”

“My sister went through something similar,” Nicole said. “The only difference was she only had one baby and lost it. She was torn to pieces, but she got through it. Now she has two kids, one’s two years old and the other is four; she hasn’t forgotten and she never will, but she’s stronger because of that experience.”

“Bree’s tough anyway,” Ivy said. “She’ll be okay. Especially with someone like Kevin there for her.”

**********

The group made plans to travel to Kentucky together. Since the tour was postponed, they wouldn’t have a problem with scheduling. Brianna and Kyra were released from the hospital four days later. They recovered quickly and exceptionally well.

Kevin and Brianna made plans for a small, private funeral. Christian was to be buried next to Kevin’s father, as he had requested. The ceremony was private and very emotional. The only people in attendance were the Boys, Brianna, Bianca, Nicole and Ivy.

Kevin and Brianna held each other throughout the entire service; crying together as they were forced to let go of the son they didn’t have the chance to hold on to. On the afternoon of June 12, Christian was laid to rest and an angel went back to Heaven.

**EARLY JULY--FLORIDA**

Brianna groaned when she heard a knock on her door. Kyra had just fallen asleep and Brianna knew that if she woke up, there was no chance she’d fall asleep again for a while. Very carefully Brianna got up; she moved ever so slowly. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, she placed Kyra in her crib and got to the door before the visitor decided to ring the doorbell.

As soon as she got the door open, Brianna was greeted by two tattooed arms wrapping her in a warm hug. “Hey sweet thang. How ya doin’?”

“Hey AJ,” she smiled and hugged him again. “What brings you by?”

“Well, I had to come check on my two favorite girls. I just wanted to see how y’all are doing.”

“I’m glad you decided to stop by. I was thinking about calling you, anyway.”

Smiling AJ walked over to the crib and gazed down at the sleeping child. “Now you don’t have to call.” He gently ran his finger over Kyra’s forehead and cheek. “She’s beautiful, Bree. She looks just like you.”

“Thanks,” she said, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Do you want anything? A soda or something to eat?”

“No thanks, I’m fine. Besides, I came to see you and Kyra, not eat your food,” he grinned. “Where’s Kevin?”

“He had to go to the store to get a few things.”

“Bree, are you doing okay?” AJ suddenly turned serious. Taking her hand, he stammered, “I mean, I know things have been hard-”

“I’m doing better,” she smiled at his concern. “It’s taking time, but I’m getting through. I’m very grateful to have people that love me and care so much.”

“If you ever need anything, just let me know, okay?”

Nodding, she smiled again. “You’re coming to Bean’s party, right?”

“Of course. You know I never miss a good party. Even if it is for such a spoiled brat, I’ll be there,” he answered seriously.

“Are y’all still fighting? I thought you two settled things,” Brianna looked at him with a stern gaze.

“We did, but Bianca is still a spoiled little brat who thinks the world revolves around her,” he stated in a factual tone. “Some things are hard to accept.”

“AJ”

“What? I’m only telling the truth.”

“Be nice.”

“Okay, fine.”


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Brian sat in his car waiting for Nicole. Looking at his watch, he thought about blowing the horn again, but decided against it. He didn’t want to risk started off his day with her on a bad note. They were going to buy decorations and shop for Bianca’s birthday. After Nick had mentioned a party, Nicole insisted that she and Ivy take over planning because, “Nobody can plan a party like a girl!” Even though it wasn’t a surprise party, and Bianca knew all about it, they wouldn’t let her help plan either. Ivy and Nicole told her to sit back and let them handle things. They had the funding from Nick and he made it clear to the girls that it didn’t matter how much it was as long as Bianca was happy.

“Hey baby,” Nicole greeted Brian as she got in the car. Leaning over and giving him a kiss, she smiled, “Sorry I made you wait.”

“It’s okay darlin’,” he kissed her again. “We aren’t late or anything.”


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“Where are you off to?” Howie asked as Ivy grabbed her keys and purse.

“I’m meeting Nicole to get some more decorations,” she said. “Wanna come with me? Brian’s gonna be there.”

“Nah, I’ll stay here and clean up,” he answered.

“Okay,” she shrugged, hiding her disappointment. “I’ll be back later.”

Grabbing Ivy’s hand he pulled her back to him and kissed her. When they broke way, both were breathless. Smiling, Howie said, “You might have a surprise waiting for you when you get back.”

“Really? Well, I’ll be looking forward to that. I’m excited already.”


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“Bean,” Nick said, trying to get his girlfriend’s attention. “Bean…Bianca.”

She was propped against the arm of his couch listening to a CD and flipping through a magazine. Nick decided to move her earphones to get her attention. “Bianca?”

“Yeah?” she asked, closing her magazine and turning the CD player off.

Nick smiled; he couldn’t help it. She was an international pop star who seemed to be getting more popular by the second, yet to look at her at that very moment you’d never know it. In the public’s eye Bianca Parker was graceful and elegant, but in Nick’s eyes she was a normal 18 year old girl who liked to have fun. She made mistakes and maybe she didn’t always look perfect, but to him she was. Looking at her dark, denim cutoffs and tank top, he smiled again. His smile grew wider as he looked at her hair pulled into a high ponytail which made her look like a little girl.

“I love you,” he said causing her to smile.

“I love you, too, Nicky,” she said linking her fingers with his.

“I was wondering what you wanted for your birthday?”

“I dunno, baby. I haven’t really thought about that. It’s nothin’ big. I don’t even know why Ivy and Nicole insist on a party. I mean, I’m only turning nineteen,” Scrunching her nose up she laughed, “Y’all aren’t gonna get me drunk again are you?”

He laughed remembering her eighteenth birthday celebration. Nick, Brianna, and the rest of the guys had taken her out and everyone except Brian and AJ (because he was driving) had gotten a little tipsy. “No, nothing like that.”

“Well, a part is nice, but it’s too bad you and I can’t have a private celebration. I bet I’d like that better,” her voice dropped and she pulled him in for a kiss.

Groaning, Nick kissed her back hungrily. “That would be nice. You know, we can always leave early.”

“I love you,” she smiled against his lips.


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**THREE DAYS LATER**

“So, you have a list of everybody that’s coming?” Ivy asked. She, Nicole, Brianna, and Bianca were all sitting around making final preparations for the next day.

“Don’t you guys think all of this is a little much? I mean you’re making such a big deal out of everything…I’m only turning nineteen.”

“Only turning nineteen?! What are you talking about? You only turn nineteen once!” Nicole shrieked.

“Are you really not excited?” Brianna asked.

“It’s not that I’m not excited and don’t think that I’m being ungrateful; I think it’s awesome y’all are throwing me a big, huge party,” she paused to think. “I just don’t think nineteen is a big deal is all. Not for me anyway. I feel very lucky to be turning nineteen, but it’s not a milestone I guess.”

“Well, we’ll make it one,” Ivy said with a mischievous grin, causing the other three to laugh. “You won’t forget this birthday.”

“I hope not…I’m still trying to remember last year!” Bianca retorted, causing them to giggle again.


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**THE NEXT MORNING**

“What time does this big bash start tonight?” Brian asked Nick as they sat around playing a video game.

“I dunno…early.”

“Well, that’s pretty much a given fact, man. What’s up with you? You’ve been acting funny all day.”

“Nothin’, I’m okay. Just thinking about some things,” Nick answered quietly. “Damn it,” he said when Brian beat him at the game.

“Man, spill it. Just tell me what’s up.”

“I’m just thinking about Bean. That’s it.” Smiling, he sighed. “I’m not upset or anything. I was just thinking about how special she is to me.”

“Oh,” Brian said, feeling almost as though he had intruded into Nick’s thoughts.

“I just hope she’s enjoying her day out with the girls. She deserves it. We had out alone time last night and I gave her birthday present to her at midnight,” he said. “We just had a quiet dinner and enjoyed each other.”

“That’s good, man.” Brian was happy for his best friend. “What did you give her?”

“A bracelet. It wasn’t much, but it looked like her and she loved it; that’s all that matters.”


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“Hey, Kev,” AJ said, letting himself into the house. “What ya up to?”

“Just taking care of my baby girl while her mama is out,” Kevin answered, but directed it towards his daughter in baby talk.

“Oh, Bree’s not home?”

“No. She’s with Bianca, Nicole and Ivy helping get everything ready for tonight.”

“Oh, okay. My mom is excited about keeping Kyra tonight. She said to call her before you leave so she can have everything ready.” AJ smiled. “She says she’s gonna spoil her as rotten as us.”

Kevin chuckled. He felt very comfortable about Kyra staying with Denise while he and Brianna were at the party. He knew he didn’t have anything to worry about and they could enjoy themselves. “It definitely won’t matter. Kyra is already spoiled.”

“Like me,” Brianna’s voice unexpectedly filled the room. “How is my little angel?” Taking her daughter into her arms, Brianna sprinkled tiny kisses all over her face. Leaning over she kissed Kevin softly on the lips. Smiling at AJ she asked, “What are y’all up to?”

“Nothing at all. Just oohing and ahhing over Kyra,” AJ answered with a smile.

“Well, at least you’re preparing her for the future,” Brianna grinned. “Daddy will have to beat the boys away from you, won’t he? Yes, he will.”

“Well, I guess I’ll go on home and start getting ready for the brat party,” AJ said, using the nickname he had given Bianca’s birthday party. “I’ll see y’all later.”

“Bye,” Kevin and Brianna answered together.

Turning to Kevin, Brianna smiled. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” he kissed her slowly. “And we both love this pretty little girl,” he dropped a kiss on Kyra’s forehead.

“What time is Denise expecting us?” Brianna asked.

“We’re supposed to call her before we leave. So I’m guessing any time.”

“I’m glad she doesn’t mind keeping Kyra during the party. I was really worried she would have something to do. I was kinda worried I’d feel like we were dumping something on her,” she confessed.

“Are you kidding me?” Kevin laughed. “Denise is so excited about this. She acts like Kyra’s her own grand-daughter. She’s also very headstrong, like you. If Denise had other plans or just didn’t feel like keeping Kyra, she would’ve let us know flat out.”

“I know,” Brianna laughed. Smiling sheepishly, she added, “I guess part of me just isn’t ready to leave her yet. I know it sounds silly, but this is gonna be a little weird.”

“Darlin’, that doesn’t sound silly at all. I feel the exact same way, but I’m more comfortable knowing that Kyra is with someone we know and trust. Besides, if something does happen, which it won’t, she won’t have any problems getting a hold of is. We’ll go to Bean’s party and enjoy ourselves.”

“Okay,” she smiled. Giving him a soft kiss on the lips, she mumbled, “At least we know Denise doesn’t mind keeping Kyra. We’re gonna have to ask her to make plans to watch her one night soon.”

“That sounds like a very good idea,” Kevin replied, smiling against Brianna’s mouth.”

**AT THE PARTY**

The club that had been chosen for Bianca’s party was Club Nocturna. It had been reserved for the entire night and so far everything was well under way. Bianca and Nick stepped out of the limo followed by Brianna, Kevin, and AJ. Brian, Nicole, Howie and Ivy were already waiting inside.

Camera flashes nearly blinded the five of them because, even though Bianca’s party had not been publicized, they had definitely not tried to hide it. So the various cameras came as no surprise. Once inside the dark club, Bianca was greeted by James Jive. “Happy Birthday, Bianca,” he said, placing a kiss on her cheek. “This is quite a celebration.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

“Hello Nick,” he nodded.

Nick barely had a chance to acknowledge his greeting before he was in the middle of the dance floor watching Bianca sway seductively in front of him. He could feel his heart thumping along with the music and his throat went dry. Nick’s eyes drifted down Bianca’s body and lingered over her bare midriff. Licking his lips he thought about how much he liked her outfit.

Bianca had chosen a violet bandana top that was backless and a miniskirt of the same color. Her hair was down and fell just above her shoulder blades and her body shimmered with the glitter that she had put on. Moving closer to Nick, she nibbled his ear lobe. Letting out a soft moan, she whispered, “I think we’ll be leaving early.”

He draped his arms around her tiny waist and dropped his lips to her neck. “I am gonna agree with you on that.”

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Nick turned and found himself face-to-face with Sean William Scott. He kept his arm around Bianca’s waist, but stopped dancing. “Can I help you?”

“I was just wonderin’ if I could tear you away from your man for a little while,” he asked Bianca, completely ignoring Nick’s question.

Bianca felt Nick’s arm tighten around her waist and she smiled. “Well, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to, but I’m kinda tied up right now. I’ll find ya in a little while.”

I’ll be waitin’,” he grinned and headed off the dance floor.

“I’ll be waitin’,” Nick mimicked. “Prick.”

“He only wanted a dance,” Bianca kissed him on the nose. “You’re adorable when you’re jealous.

“I bet that’s all he wants,” Nick said to himself as he resumed dancing. “He probably wants a lap dance.”

“I’m saving that for you,” she said with a wink.

**ACROSS THE CLUB**

Brianna stood with Kevin as AJ went to get them all a drink. “Are you having fun?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah,” she answered with a slight smile. “It’s an awesome party. There are so many people.”

“Baby, stop worrying about Kyra. She’s fine, I promise,” Kevin smiled and kissed her. “Have some fun.”

Smiling, Brianna sighed. “I’m sorry. I know she’s okay. It’s just different.”

“I have an idea…why don’t we dance?”

Just as they were making their way to the dance floor, AJ walked up and placed their drinks on the table and jerked his chair from beneath.

“J, what’s wrong?” Brianna asked, concerned.

“What the hell is that bitch doing here?” he asked, clenching and unclenching his fists trying to calm himself.

“Who?” Kevin took a moment to look around the dark club.

At that very moment everyone was interrupted by a vaguely familiar female voice. “Hello, AJ.” Cassie stood by the table, smiling almost evilly.

“THAT bitch,” AJ said, emotionless.

“Oh, AJ, you don’t mean that,” Cassie brought her hand up to her chest, acting as though she was shocked.

“The hell I don’t-” he stopped. Standing up, he lifted her hand and closely examined the diamond ring on her finger. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he scoffed.

“Nope,” she smirked. “Why does it matter? You jealous?”

“Jealous? Of that walking, talking dick? No. I just think it’s a little humorous. You two will definitely be the tackiest couple in Hollywood.”

“I think you need to rethink the whole jealousy thing,” she spat. “You’re looking a little green, AJ.”

Before he could respond Cassie had walked back across the club. AJ was furious and he could feel his face slowly heating up. Why are you letting her get to you? he asked himself. She’s a bitch and you don’t need her.

“Are you okay?” Brianna asked, sitting next to him and placing her hand on his arm.

“Yeah,” he patted her hand and kissed her cheek. “I’m awesome.” Finishing off his drink, he stood up and straightened his clothes. “Y’all go and get your boogie on. I’m gonna go find a hunny.”

When he was out of ear shot, Brianna looked at Kevin and sighed. “Okay, now I’m worried about AJ. Is that better?”

Kevin tried to stifle his laugh. “Darlin’, it was bound to happen. We both knew she was gonna be here and he would more than likely see her. It was just an unexpected and unwelcome surprise for him. AJ’s a big boy, I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

Brianna laughed at the face Kevin made with his last statement. “I love you. Even though you’re a crazy man.”

“I love you, Boo. Now, let’s go dance! Or as AJ put it ‘get our boogie on’!”


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“Are y’all havin’ fun?” Bianca yelled above the music to Brian and Nicole. “I tell ya what, this is one hell of a party! Y’all did an awesome job planning!”

“Thanks,” Nicole yelled back. Looking at Brian, she smiled. “We did do a pretty good job, didn’t we?”

“Pretty good? No, y’all did a damn good job,” he grinned and kissed her neck.

“Hey lovebirds,” Ivy greeted. “I see y’all are definitely gettin’ your groove on.”

Sticking her tongue out, Nicole laughed. “So? You and Howie could be if you weren’t over here harassing us.”

Ivy smiled and winked. “You are absolutely right. Come on Howie.”

“Bye guys,” Nicole and Brian laughed together.

“I think we’re the only sane people here,” Brian said with a chuckle.

Suddenly, everyone was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. The music, talking and dancing all came to a halt. “This is a wonderful party, don’t you all agree?” James Jive was met with applause. “I think we all need to wish Miss Bianca Parker a very happy birthday as well.” Looking around to everyone, Mr. Jive smiled and added, “I hope everyone has a great time. Happy Birthday Bianca.”

As the applause died down and the music started back up, Nicole began to laugh. “You know, I have finally figured that man out!”

“Who? James?”

“Yes. He has to put himself in the spotlight everywhere he goes. Even if it’s only for a second.” Shaking her head, she sighed. “Some people are so sad.”

Brian laughed, but didn’t say anything; he only kept dancing. I can’t believe it took her so long to figure that out.


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“Nicky, I’m gonna got to the little girl’s room,” Bianca told him, standing up and straightening her skirt.

“Alright baby. Just hurry,” he grinned.

“I will,” she told him and headed in the direction of the bathroom. When she got inside she sighed; the air was light and cool. It was refreshing, unlike the stuffy atmosphere of the club. “I’ll have to bring Nick in here,” she laughed to herself. As she stepped back out into the buzz of the club, Bianca was startled when someone slipped their arm around her waist.

“You ready for that dance?” Sean Scott asked and pulled her back against him

Moving his hand, Bianca turned to face him. She smiled and said, “Sure.”

They made their way to the dance floor and began to sway to the loud, pounding music. “You know, I’ve seen all your movies. You’re hilarious, I laughed my ass off,” Bianca yelled over the music.

“Well, I have your CD and I listen to it a lot,” he smiled. “You should let me take you out sometime. I think we’d have fun.”

“Well-” Bianca was cut off when she felt a hand grab her arm.

“She’ll be a little busy. Ya know, since she has a boyfriend and all,” Nick told him and turned around pulling Bianca with him.

“Nick…Nick,” she was quickly growing angry. “Nickolas, let me go.”

“Why? So you can go back to Romeo?” he looked slightly hurt.

“I was dancing, Nick. That’s it. I don’t know why you’re so bad that I was having and innocent dance and conversation with someone. It’s no big deal.”

“He was coming on to you, Bianca. It was obvious, and you didn’t seem to mind at all.”

“Well, what about when some bimbo fan of yours throws herself at you? How is that okay?” she asked, her voice rising. “I was just having a conversation and a little fun, but that’s only okay for guys I guess.”

Nick’s cheeks began to flush as he realized people were beginning to stare. “Bianca, we don’t need to cause a scene.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you got so mad over nothing,” she said as she turned to walk away. Stopping to face him again, she added, “Oh, and if you hadn’t interrupted so quickly, you would have heard me turn Sean down because I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. But you had to be speedy.”

“Damn it Bianca, come back here,” he yelled.


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Brianna and Nicole were talking when Bianca stormed over. “Bean, what’s wrong?” Brianna asked.

“I have such an asshole boyfriend.”

“What happened?” Nicole questioned.

“Sean Scott asked me to dance earlier, but I told him that I would find him later. When I went to the bathroom, he found me so I danced,” she said. “Well, we were talking and he asked me out. Oh, stop it,” she told them when their eyes grew wide. “I was about to politely turn him down, but Nick decided to add his opinion before I had the chance.”

“Well, here comes Dick--oh, I mean Nick--now,” Nicole said.

“I’ll see y’all later,” Bianca said, walking away.

“Bianca,” Nick called, stopping in front of the girls. “Damn.”

They all watched as Bianca went into the bathroom. “Well, Nicky Pooh, looks like you’re outta luck,” Nicole chided.

“You could always go in after her, but you know Bean. You’d be blind and missing some vital body parts by the time she was done with you!” Brianna snickered.

“I can’t believe what a jerk he can be,” Bianca spoke softly to herself as she sat on the counter in the bathroom. “He has to jump into everything without even giving me a chance to do anything.”

“Who are you talking to?” a female voice asked.

Bianca looked up to find Holly peeking around the corner with a smile on her face. “Holly! When did you get here?!” she asked, quickly sliding off the counter and wrapping her friend in a hug. “I can’t believe it.”

“Well, I got an invitation and you know I never pass up a good party,” Holly said with a wink. “I just got here and the girls told me I’d find you in here.”

“Yeah, I’m having a little problem with Nick; he’s an asshole.”

Holly snickered and say on the counter. “Girl, he’s no different than any guy in the universe.”

Laughing, Bianca sat beside Holly. “Yeah, that’s true, but why does he have to get jealous and treat me like property when I’m talking to another guy?”

“It comes with the package; every guy has that feature, but some hide it more easily than others. Apparently, Nick doesn’t hide it or cope with it well at all. When I saw him, he was verbally beating the crap out of himself,” Holly said with a chuckle.

“That means he is acknowledging the fact that he is a jerk,” Bianca sighed. “Good. Maybe won’t have to beat the crap out of him--physically.”

“Don’t worry about it girl,” Holly put her arm around Bianca’s shoulders. “Just let this little thing go and have fun. It is YOUR birthday. Get down and groove.”

“You’re right girl,” Bianca said.

“Of course I am--did you think I wouldn’t be?!” she made a face of mock astonishment. “I’m gonna go find a hot guy to dance with. You coming?”

“I’ll be out there in a minute. I’m just gonna touch up my hair and make-up.”

“Alrighty.”

Bianca slid from the counter and grabbed her purse. She never heard the door open as she pulled her powder and lip gloss out. Unfortunately, no one in the club heard her muffled scream when she finally realized she wasn’t alone.

“Brian, Nicole, have either of you seen Bianca?” Nick asked. “I can’t find her.”

“Not recently,” Nicole answered.

“I thought I heard someone say they saw her leave,” Brian said. “Maybe they were talking about someone else though.”

“She left?” Nick asked, surprised. “I can’t believe her.”

“Like I said, maybe it--”

“No,” he cut Brian off. “It probably was her. She’s throwing a little fit is what she’s doing.”

“I dunno,” Brian looked at Nicole for help, but her only reply was a shrug. They watched Nick turn and stomp away. “Okay, that was a little uncomfortable.”

“Tell me about it.”


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Bianca groaned and tried to focus her eyes in the dark. She could hear music from the club, but it was muffled. “Hello?” she half whispered. Her throat was dry and her head was pounding. She strained to hear anything to give her even the slightest hint to where she might be. She heard nothing but the muffled music.

“Okay, y’all. Ha Ha. This is really funny. Cute joke, you got me,” she called out. They are so going to pay for this. Bianca jumped when she heard a loud crash across the room. “Okay guys, you can cut it out. Enough is enough.”

She listened closely and heard footsteps in the direction of the crash. She could hear them getting closer and closer to her and she was suddenly filled with a heavy feeling of dread. A chill traveled up her spine and she felt goose bumps form all over her body. “Who’s there?” she called, the fear evident in her voice.

Suddenly the lights came on, blinding her momentarily. When she was finally able to focus, Bianca searched the tiny room for whoever was responsible for this cruel joke. Where did they go?

The same fearful chill filled her body when Bianca heard the heavy footsteps return. Spotting the tall figure on the other side of the room her eyes welled up with tears and she felt sick. “Oh God, no. Please.”

“Happy birthday, Bean,” Eric greeted with an evil smirk. “Ready for your present?”


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“Baby, I think we should get going,” Brianna told Kevin with a tired sigh. She jokingly added “I don’t think we’re cut out for the party scene any more.”

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” he said checking his watch. “We don’t want Denise to think we forgot Kyra. I bet she’s getting a little worried--wondering if we’re ever coming to get her.”

“Probably,” Brianna smiled. “Just let me find Bianca and tell her bye. It won’t take but a second; she’s probably preoccupied anyway.”

“Okay, darlin’. I’ll go wait for you by the door.”

“Alright,” she said and headed in the direction she last saw Nick. She found him dancing with Holly. “Hey,” she greeted a little confused.

“Hey,” they said and stopped dancing. “You leaving?” Holly asked.

“Yeah, I was gonna tell Bean bye. Have you seen her?”

“No,” Nick slurred heatedly. “She left a while back.”

Brianna rolled her eyes. Nick was more than a little tipsy and pissed about something. “Why would Bianca leave her own party, Nick? Did you do something else to piss her off? Holly, where is she?”

Steaming, Nick seemed to sober up very quickly. “Well, if she didn’t leave, where the hell is she?! Tell me, Brianna, when’s the last time you saw her tonight?”

Brianna stopped for a second. When had she seen Bianca last? It had been quite a while. A couple of hours, in fact. “Well, I think it was right after the two of you started fighting…you know, when she went into the bathroom.”

“Exactly, because that’s the last time I saw her. I guess she thought she’d try and be funny, but she was wrong,” he said before angrily storming away.

“Well, if she does show up or you see her when you leave, tell her I said me and Kevin had fun, please?”

“Sure,” Holly nodded.

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Brianna said going to find Kevin. Bianca and her damn temper.


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“SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE!” Bianca screamed at the top of her lungs. “HELP!!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Eric yelled and brought his large hand down across her cheek.

“Why are you doing this?” she half whispered, half whimpered. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to suffer,” he jerked her face to his, shoving his tongue into her mouth. When he did, Bianca bit down as hard as she could. Eric pulled back, yelling obscenities. “Damn you, you stupid bitch. You’ll pay for that.”

Grabbing her wrists, he yanked her to her feet and ripped her top off. Tearing the lavender material into strips, he tied her wrists together and forced her arms over her head. “Let’s see if you can take as much pain as you can cause,” he said bitterly.

With tears streaming down her swollen and cut cheeks, Bianca started saying a prayer she would repeat all night. “God, please help me. Let someone find me before he kills me. Please…”


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**THE NEXT MORING**

Kevin rolled over and draped his arm across Brianna’s side. He smiled and pulled her body closer to his. Gently, he brushed her hair off of her face. “I love you, Boo.”

All of a sudden, the silence was broken but Kyra crying. “Well,” Brianna groaned sleepily, “if you really love me, you can go check on her.”

Kevin smiled and kissed Brianna on the forehead. “You’re very sneaky.”

“Yeah, but you still love me,” she replied with one eye opened.

“Yes, I do,” he got up to go see about his wailing daughter.

Brianna smiled and snuggled back under the covers. Just as she was dozing off, she felt Kevin slip back into the bed. Once he was under the covers, he slid as close to her as he could. Brianna laced her fingers with his and let out a contented sigh. Her sigh quickly turned into a groan when they heard a knock on their door.

“We won’t answer it,” Kevin said, placing feathery kisses on her neck. “They’ll eventually get tired of knocking and leave.”

“Oh really?” Brianna said with raised eyebrows when the knocking became louder and more urgent. “Baby, they really want us to open the door. It’s probably important if they’re attempting to break it down.”

“You’re right,” Kevin kissed her once more before sliding out of the bed. “You get dressed and I’ll find out who this is and what’s so important. It better be good.”

Kevin opened the door in mid-knock and was face-to-face with a very distressed looking Nick. “What’s the matter, man?”

“Please tell me Bianca’s here,” he said, the desperation was evident in his voice.

“She’s not here, Nick. Why would she be here, anyway?” Kevin asked more than a little confused.

“Because her best friend lives here. Naturally, this would be the first place I’d check if she didn’t come home last night,” Nick said, raking his hands through his already disheveled hair. “This was the only place I could think of.”

“What’s the matter?” Brianna came into the living room and wrapped her arms around Kevin’s waist.

“Bean never came home last night,” he answered and dropped into a chair. “I was up waiting for her all night long.”

“She’s probably with Holly or one of the others, Nick. You should go home and get some sleep. Bean’s a big girl and she can take care of herself. Isn’t that what she’d tell you? Just don’t worry too much and get her when she comes strolling in with a smug grin on her face.”

“Alright,” he sighed reluctantly and stood up. “But if she comes by or calls, please let me know.”

“We will,” Brianna reached out and gave Nick’s hand a quick squeeze. “Just try not to worry. Bean is probably just still upset and trying to make you feel bad. I’m sure she’ll be home soon.”

“Thanks guys,” Nick said, making his way to the door.

“I didn’t even know they were fighting last night,” Kevin shook his head as they headed back to their bedroom.

“Yeah, but it was over nothing. Bianca is just having a little mood swing and trying to piss Nick off. When she thinks she’s done enough damage she’ll come home.”


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AJ sighed heavily and threw his covers off of himself. “It’s time to quit moping around,” he said.

Going to the bathroom he studied the person in the mirror. His eyes were tired and there were dark circles underneath. His face was unshaved and his red hair was a mess. “Don’t I look hot?” AJ splashed some water on his face and brushed his teeth. “I’m not gonna let anything else get to me. I think I’ll go see Brianna and Kevin, and I’ll take them breakfast.”

After he got dressed, he grabbed his keys and decided to go down to a coffee shop to get something to take to Brianna and Kevin.

AJ pulled into a parking space and saw that he was in front of Club Nocturna. “I never knew this was where this place was. It looks a lot different at night.” He glanced down the sidewalk and saw a girl sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees. She looked like she had been in a fight and lost…badly. The girl’s arms and legs were bruised and cut and her dark hair was a tangled mess. She appeared to be trying to cover herself with some old fabric. AJ suspected she didn’t have the best lifestyle and an even worse boyfriend, but still she was a lady…

“Ma’am…” AJ said, but she didn’t move. God, I hope she’s not dead. “Ma’am…” he said again and gently shook her.

She stirred slightly and whimpered. “Please don’t hit me anymore.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not gonna hit ya,” AJ said with a gentleness in his voice. His heart ached for this poor girl. “Let’s have a look at ya darlin’.”

When she lifted her face, AJ’s heart jumped into his throat. “Oh my God.”

Her eyes were black and one was swollen shut. There was a deep gash on her right cheek and her trembling bottom lip was split open. She had several smaller cuts all over her face. If he had not stopped, AJ never would have known…even looking at her, he almost didn’t recognize her.

“AJ. Oh, please help me,” her voice was a terrified whisper. “Please.”

“Shh, baby, don’t worry. You’re safe now,” he told her and scooped her into his arms. “I’m gonna get you help.”

When he got her into the car and helped her get situated, he got in and pulled out his cell phone. “Pick up…c’mon…Hey! Bree, you’ve gotta meet me at the hospital now. No, I’m fine…it’s Bean. Just call Nick and come to the hospital.”

AJ clicked off his phone and reached over to Bianca and took her hand. “Don’t you worry, you’re gonna be okay sweetie.” You’ll be even better when we find whoever the hell did this…

The sound of the phone ringing jarred Ivy out of her thoughts. Who’s calling? she wondered. Howie was still in the shower, so she knew she would have to take a message. “Hello?” she answered getting her pencil and paper ready. When no one said anything, she sighed…this always annoyed her. “Hello!” she repeated a little louder.

“I know where you are Ivy,” came a harsh whisper.

“Excuse me?” she cried out surprised. “Who is this and how do you know my name?”

“I know everything about you, Ivy,” they replied in a low voice before the line went dead.

Ivy was horrified and didn’t know what to say. She was still holding the phone to her ear when Howie touched her on the shoulder. “Hey Ivy, what’s the matter, baby? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you okay?” he asked, obviously concerned. “Who was that on the phone? Did something happen?”

“Oh…uh…” she stumbled for something to say. I can’t tell him what that person said to me… “No, nothing happened. That was just a wrong number.”

“Then why do you look so upset if nothing is wrong?”

“I just realized that today is our anniversary and couldn’t believe that neither one of us remembered,” she lied, praying he would buy it.

“Really? Wow! I can’t believe I forgot.”

Ivy cringed inside as she continued. “Yeah, sweetie. I just figured we should do something tonight since you guys are still off. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect,” he gave her a kiss. I just hope he doesn’t look in my planner and see that our anniversary isn’t until next week.


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Bianca sniffled and felt AJ squeeze her hand. She was lying on an examining table while a doctor performed a pelvic exam for a rape kit. They had insisted that AJ not be present during the examinations; however, Bianca would not let him leave. She was terrified of being alone and begged him, as well as the doctors. He was a friend comforting her, why didn’t they understand that? Besides, Nick wasn’t there to do this. Bianca had been asking about him since they had been at the hospital, but all AJ could tell her was that he would be there soon. Now, AJ sat facing Bianca, holding her hand, and every so often, brushing her hair out of her face.

He had to admit that he was more than a little uncomfortable, but he would never have told Bianca he wouldn’t stay there with her. He could see the fear in her blue eyes, as well as hear it in her voice. The mischievous sparkle that once glimmered in her eyes was gone. She wasn’t the same person and AJ knew she wouldn’t be for a very long time, if she ever was again.

AJ thought about Nick. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how much this was going to devastate his friend. Nick loved Bianca with all his heart, everyone knew that, but what would happen to them? Will they get through this? AJ wondered and ran his thumb across Bianca’s forehead.

“Okay, Miss Parker, we’re all finished,” Dr. Evers said. “You can get dressed and I’ll be back shortly to discuss some things with you.”

AJ gave her hand a gentle squeeze and stood up. Bianca frantically grabbed his hand and asked, “Where are you going?!”

“I’m gonna go so you can get dressed. I’ll be right outside your door. Just call me when you’re finished, okay sweetheart?”

She nodded and let go of AJ’s hand. “Stand right outside my door, alright?” she asked sounding like a little girl.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here,” he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. While AJ was waiting, Dr. Evers approached him. She had a grim, yet sympathetic expression on her face. “Mr. McLean, could I have a word with you? I’d like to discuss the situation with your girlfriend.”

AJ almost commented that Bianca was just a friend, but caught himself. If they knew he wasn’t Bianca’s boyfriend, he definitely would not be back there and she would be alone. “Sure,” he nodded. Where the hell is Nick when ya need him?

“Mr. McLean--”

“AJ.”

“AJ,” Dr. Evers chose her words carefully. “Miss Parker has suffered an extremely traumatic experience. I’m not trying to treat you like a child,” she said seeing him roll his eyes. Before he could comment, she continued, “I just want you and everyone close to Bianca to understand her situation. I think she should begin counseling as soon as possible. She needs to begin the emotional healing process.”

“Don’t you think you should be telling Bianca this, instead of me?” he said a little impatiently. “She’s been through hell, but she’s not stupid, and trust me, she’d be pissed if she knew you were telling me all this before you tell her.” Just then, he heard someone yelling and saw Nick round the corner. “Finally…”

“AJ! Where is she?” Nick ran up to his friend, frantically. He was being followed by a number of angry hospital staff members. “Is Bean okay? I need to see her!”

“Look, Mr., I know you said you really need to see someone, but you cannot be back here without a pass,” a tall man in a white lab coat said impatiently.

Before Nick could say anything, AJ handed him his pass. “Now he’s got one buck-o,” AJ said and poked the man in the chest. “Go take care of her, Nick. She needs you.” With that, AJ walked passed the dumbfounded doctors into the waiting room.


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Brian and Nicole walked into the emergency room waiting area and looked around. Brian pulled his hat down to better cover his face and sighed. “Weren’t we just waiting for news on a friend in the hospital? Now here we are again.”

“I know. Gracious, I hope she’s okay.”

Brian gave Nicole’s hand a loving squeeze as they approached the nurse’s desk. “Excuse me?” he cleared his throat, getting the nurse’s attention. “Could you tell me where the waiting area for Bianca Parker is?”

“That would be-” she looked up and her mouth fell open. “Brian?” she whispered.

“Jules?” Brian was shocked. “Oh my God, Julie! I can’t believe it!” he dropped Nicole’s hand and met Julie in a warm embrace.

Nicole stared in disbelief as Brian began to completely ignore her. It seemed like he had forgotten that she even existed. “Brian,” she called softly and placed a hand on his arm.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. Nicole, this is Julie Lewis, an old…friend,” Nicole noticed his hesitation. “Julie, this is my girlfriend, Nicole.”

“Nice to meet you,” Julie smiled politely and extended her hand. When Nicole didn’t return the gesture, Julie lowered her hand to her side and her cheeks warmed over. “Well, Brian, it was really great seeing you. Maybe we can talk sometime and catch up on what’s been going on. My number hasn’t changed.”

“Okay,” he smiled and gave her another hug. “It was so good to see you, Jules.” When he and Nicole were out of distance for anyone to hear, he looked at her and asked, “Why were you so rude back there?”

“What do you mean?” she began to play dumb.

“When Julie tried to shake your hand, you were really rude. She was just being nice.”

“Well, I figured you were being nice enough for the both of us,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“Oh, come on Nicole. Do not tell me you’re jealous,” Brian said with a chuckle. “You know you have no reason to feel that way.”

“She got really friendly…more friendly than I like,” she defended herself. “My number hasn’t changed,” she mocked.

Brian stopped in his tracks and grabbed Nicole’s hand. “Baby, listen to me. I love you, and you know that. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I promise,” he said and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I love you.”

Nicole nodded slowly and returned his kiss. “I love you too, Bri. Let’s go see how Bean is now, okay?” I am still gonna watch out for that girl she thought as they made their way to the elevators.

“What do you think happened?” Brianna asked Kevin as they searched for their friends. “AJ was extremely vague, but it sounded bad.”

“Darlin’, don’t worry,” Kevin reassured her. The truth was, Brianna was right. To hear AJ’s voice, the situation sounded terrible, but he couldn’t even begin to guess what it might be. “I’m sure Bean is doing just fine.”

As they rounded the corner, Kevin, Brianna, and Kyra ran right into AJ. “J, what’s going on? What happened to Bianca?!” Brianna asked quickly.

“She’s alright, just real shook up. She’s pretty banged and bruised up, too, but she’s okay considering what happened,” he sighed.

“And that would be what?” Brianna questioned, breathing a sigh of relief that her best friend was okay. “Does she remember everything that happened?”

“Yeah,” AJ sighed again. “They hadn’t done a police report when I was still with her. That’s probably what they’re doing now. She’s doing okay, but it’s bad. The person that did this gave her a pretty horrible beating. I almost didn’t recognize her when I found her.”

“Oh my-” Brianna gasped. "Who would want to do something like this?”

“A very cruel and evil person, sweetheart.” AJ stated. “Her room is just down the hall to the left. 546. Nick just got here,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I sat with her through everything. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have left her alone for anything, but he was the one she needed. What took him so long getting here?”

Brianna shrugged and Kevin said, “I dunno man. What takes him so long getting anywhere?”

“Point taken. I’m gonna go have a cigarette. I’ll be back in a little while.”

Kevin lifted Kyra from Brianna’s arms when they reached Bianca’s room. “You go in first, baby. I’ll wait here.”

Brianna nodded then tapped lightly on the door. Not waiting for an answer, she pushed the pale blue door open. Nick was sitting on Bianca’s right side with her hand clasped tightly in his. He looked like he had been crying; Bianca was still crying. They both looked up when they heard the door open. “Hey sweetie,” Brianna forced a smile, despite the grim situation. “How ya feelin’?”

“I’ve been better,” Bianca answered, her voice scratchy. “I’m glad you’re here, Bree.”

“I’ll give you some times to talk,” Nick said, standing up. Bianca made no move to keep him there. “I’ll be right out here.”

Brianna took the seat Nick had occupied and tried to find a place to begin. Out of the blue, Bianca made a surprising comment. “I know who attacked me.”

“What?” Brianna asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I know who it was. It was Eric…he attacked me, Bree.”

“Are you sure, Bean?” she asked doubtfully. “Why would he let you know it was him?”

“I don’t know why, but I know it was him.”

“But how did he get in, Bean? Everyone that was there has to have a pass. How would he have gotten in without one? We both know that he could never have gotten a pass.” Brianna looked confused. “Are you positive it was him?”

“100%,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“Maybe you just thought it was him; someone that favors Eric,” Brianna suggested. “There’s no way he could’ve gotten inside that club.”

“I’m not stupid or blind, Brianna. Eric attacked me. He’s the person that beat and raped me. Besides, he could have gotten in. There’s a way around everything. You and I both know that. Maybe he didn’t need a pass because he was already inside.”

“Bean, you need to get some rest,” Nick interrupted, poking his head through the door.

“I’m fine,” said with an exasperated sigh. “I’ll rest later, okay?” When Nick was once again outside the room, Bianca looked at her best friend with tear-filled eyes. “You have to believe me, Bree. My attacker was Eric, I know it was. I looked him square in the eyes, and I can remember everything as much as I want to forget it. I’m not crazy and I’m not making it up.”

Brianna wrapped Bianca in a tight hug as she broke into sobs. “I don’t think you’re crazy, Bean. I guess I just don’t want to think that he could’ve gotten to you again. This shouldn’t have been able to happen again, Bean…have you talked to your mom?”

“I haven’t talked to her, but somebody called her. She’s freaked out and she said she was catching the first flight out. Apparently, she’s leaving from Wilmington. I know what she’s gonna say, but I’ll be glad to have her here.”

Brianna nodded her agreement just as their conversation was interrupted again. This time Dr. Evers came through the door. “Okay Bianca, I hate to do this, but I’m gonna have to run your visitors away for a little while. You need to relax.”

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Brianna gave her friend another hug. “I’ll come back later.”

“Okay.”


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****SAME TIME****

Nick paced outside in the waiting area. He was thinking, trying to reason who could’ve done this to Bianca. He couldn’t think of a single soul. Some crazy stranger only trying to please himself… “When I get my hands on him…”

“You’ll do what?” AJ scoffed. “Sing him to sleep? Oh, I know, kill him with that beautiful voice or maybe-”

“Fuck you, AJ.”

“You know I’m right,” AJ replied, pointedly. “You aren’t gonna do a damn thing because you can’t. And I’m not talking physically, so don’t try and act all macho. You aren’t gonna do anything because if you did, James Jive would have your ass.”

“So what are you saying, AJ?” Nick asked angrily. “Is this damn job more important than Bianca? Something that we both know won’t last forever! I’d give up everything to protect her-”

“Nick, I never said you wouldn’t. I’m not the one who’s gonna stop you from doing something.”

“I know you have a problem with Bianca, but-”

“Blow it out of your ass, Nick. You know damn well that I have nothing against her and it has nothing to do with what I’ve been telling you. You’re having trouble facing facts. Grow up, Nick.”

“Get over yourself, AJ. Tell me something useful.”

“Why don’t you open your big floppy ears and listen to me? Am I too hard to understand or are you just so damn stupid you can’t comprehend anything anyone says? I haven’t said anything here because I have a problem with Bianca. She’s still my friend and I care about her. No matter how bad she and I annoy each other, this still bothers me,” AJ said keeping eye contact. He spoke slowly, as if explaining something to a young child. “You are just upset about the situation and you don’t want to realize that the right thing to do is what I’ve told you.”

Nick had no reply. He only rolled his eyes and walked away.


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****LATER THAT DAY****

Brian walked through the doors of the ER and headed straight for the nurses desk. There he saw Julie talking to a patient about when he might be getting back to be seen by a doctor.

After explaining the situation to the impatient man, Julie went back to her work without noticing Brian standing there. Leaning on the counter, Brian cleared his throat to get Julie’s attention. She let out a soft sigh and began to speak, “Sir, I already told you…” she stopped when she looked up and saw Brian. “What are you doing here?” she asked surprised.

“I figured it was almost lunch time, so I decided to come take you out. We have a lot to catch up on. Know what I mean?” Brian asked with a grin.

“Yeah, we do,” she agreed. “So, where’s your girlfriend? She coming with us?”

“No, she had some stuff to do back at the house and she said she was gonna take a nap too, so I decided to come visit.”

“Well, that’s nice of you Brian. Just let me get my purse from the staff lounge and I’ll be right back. You’re lucky you got here before I had gone to lunch. I usually go kinda early.”

“Well, then, I guess it was fate, huh?” Brian asked with his usual grin. “Yeah, I guess it was,” Julie said, returning the grin. She came back out of the lounge and told the nurse at the desk she’d be back later. “Okay, I’m ready.”


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Bianca was lying in her bed, looking out the window. She had been crying, but finally felt like she had no more tears. She sighed when she heard a knock on her door. I really don’t want to see anyone, she thought. “Come in,” she called out quietly, but kept her eyes toward the window.

“Did I wake you up?” AJ asked softly. “I can let you sleep some more.”

“No, no. I was wide awake,” she groaned painfully as she pilled herself into a sitting position. “I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see him coming at me. I can feel it…” she stopped and squeezed her eyes shut with her hands over her face. She shook her head trying to rid herself of the horrible memories of the night before.

Instinctively, AJ wrapped his arms around her and tried to comfort her. “Don’t worry, Bean. You’re okay now. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

After a few minutes, Bianca finally relaxed in his arms. Her sobs became quiet and she seemed to have fallen asleep. Just as he was making his way to the door, he heard her call his name. “AJ?”

“Yeah?” he asked, closing the door and returning to the chair beside her bed.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Sweetie, you don’t have to thank me for that. I wouldn’t have left you there.”

Bianca forced a small smile. “I owe you one now.”

AJ returned her smile. “Nah, we’ll call it even. Try and get some rest. We don’t want the doctors getting’ pissed.”


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Nick sat in the cafeteria, still sulking over the things AJ had said to him. “What does he know, anyway? He doesn’t have much more experience than me when it comes to stuff like this. Who is he to lecture me?”

“You know, maybe you could take his advice,” Kevin’s voice broke into Nick’s thoughts. “And don’t jump all over me before you hear me out. I’m gonna talk and you are gonna listen. Got me?” When Nick nodded, Kevin continued. “AJ was right about you not doing anything, but you took what he said the wrong way. Even if you knew who did this to Bianca, you still couldn’t do anything about it. It would do more damage than anything…you don’t want that. Right?”

“Yeah, but Kevin, what if someone did something like this to Brianna? And what if you knew who did it?” Nick asked.

“Naturally, I’d want to kill them, yes, but I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t do anything to them…not myself. I’d let the cops handle it instead. If you try anything, you’re only gonna get your ass thrown in jail. That’s what AJ meant.”

“I just feel helpless and I feel like this whole mess is my fault,” Nick said, his eyes filling with hot tears. “I don’t understand why this happened. She didn’t deserve it, man.”

“No, she didn’t deserve it, but it happened. There’s a reason for it, and we may or may not find out that reason,” Kevin placed a comforting hand on his young friend’s shoulder. “Just be there to comfort and love Bianca. Leave the worrying to the police, okay?”

Ivy sat on the couch watching T.V. while Howie was on the phone with Nick. They were fully prepared to drop their plans for the day when they found out earlier about Bianca. Nick had assured them she was fine, but the doctors said she needed to rest. He told them to enjoy their anniversary and to visit tomorrow when Bean was more up to having visitors. Now, Howie was calling to check up on her. Ivy turned her attention away from the television when she heard Howie end the conversation and hang the phone up.

“How’s Bean doing?” she asked, the concern written all over her face.

“Nick said she’s feeling better than she was earlier, but she’s just tired,” he answered placing a kiss on her forehead. “I told him we’d be at the hospital in the morning, but if they needed us for anything, to page me or call my cell phone.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Are you ready to go celebrate our anniversary?” he asked with a sexy grin.

Inwardly, Ivy cringed. She felt terrible about lying Howie and making him think it was their anniversary, but after that phone call she didn’t know what to do. She only knew she couldn’t tell Howie about it…she didn’t need to upset him. Forcing a megawatt smile, she gave him a soft, lingering kiss. “You know I’m ready.”


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Nicole opened her eyes and tried to clear the sleepy cobwebs from her mind. “Brian?” her voice came out a scratchy whisper. She cleared her throat and called again. “Brian?” When she got no response, she got up and looked around. Noticing the house was quiet and dark Nicole got up and turned a lamp on. Looking around she realized she had been asleep on the couch for a while. She finally spotted a note on the coffee table. Scrawled on it was a short, but sweet message:

I’m at the hospital and I’ll be back later. Hope you have a good nap, baby. See ya later. Love, Brian

“I wonder how long he’s been gone,” she said to herself. Looking at her watch she realized it was after five. The darkness outside was caused by an approaching storm. Nicole decided that she should call and check on Brian before the storm hit.

“Hello?” Nick answered Bianca’s phone.

“Nick, hey, this is Nicole. Is Brian nearby?”

“No, Nikki, I haven’t seen him since y’all were here this morning.”

“What?” she asked surprised. “He left a note that says he went to the hospital. Why would he go and not--” she stopped when she realized he had gone to the hospital. “Thanks Nick. I’m sorry I bothered you. Oh, and tell Bianca I said hey.”

Nicole slammed the telephone down in anger. “He didn’t go to see his friend who is staying in the hospital, he went to visit his ‘old friend’ Julie or Gillie, whatever the hell her name is. I hope you had a nice visit Brian.”


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Kevin looked over at Brianna and their sleeping daughter. He smiled and reached over, brushing his hand across Brianna’s cheek. When she turned to face him, he leaned over and kissed her. “I love you, Boo.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

“I was talking to Nick today after his run-in with AJ. You know, he asked me an interesting question.”

“What sweetie?”

Kevin sighed and linked his fingers with hers. “He asked me what I would do if the tables were turned and it was you in the hospital.”

“Why is that so interesting?” she questioned, squeezing his large hand.

“Because I lied to him.”

“You lied to him? How did you lie to him?”

“I told him I would let the police handle the situation and not do anything. Of course I said I’d want to kill whoever did anything to you, but I wouldn’t, he answered. “That’s a lie. If something like this ever did happen to you, I would find that sick person and kill them.”

“Baby, you shouldn’t be worrying about that,” Brianna said softly, trying to comfort him.

“I just don’t know what I’d do-what we’d do-if something happened.”

“Kevin, you don’t need to worry about anything. Everything is fine.”

“I know, baby, but I just wanna make sure you know just how much you mean to me--everyday. Y’all are my entire life and I love you.”

Placing a soft kiss on Kevin’s lips she smiled. “I’m glad you feel that way too, darlin’.”


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****THE NEXT MORNING****

Nick knocked on Bianca’s door and went on in before she could tell him to. Carrying a large teddy bear in one arm and a dozen roses in the other, he smiled. “Morning gorgeous.”

Bianca couldn’t hide her smile. “Morning,” she greeted, her voice still scratchy.

“Guess who gets to come home today,” he placed her gifts down and sat on the edge of her bed. “They’re getting your discharge papers ready right now.”

Bianca’s smile widened. “Really?!”

“Yeah, and your mom is at my house, waiting. She had flight problems and couldn’t get a flight out until last night. But she finally made it. I picked her up after I left here and she looked exhausted, so I gave her my bed and I slept on the couch.”

“Aww, did you? That’s so sweet of you, Nicky.”

“Well, she is the mother of the woman I love. She deserves to be treated like a queen…just like her daughter,” he took her hand in his. Suddenly, his face turned serious and he let out a worried sounding sigh. “Bean, I’m really sorry this happened. If I had acted like a normal person and not been an asshole, we never would’ve started fighting and you would’ve been with me instead of by yourself.”

“Nicky…” she said softly. “This is not your fault. It was going to happen…don’t blame yourself, please.”

His big blue eyes glassed over and he tried to blink back his tears. His voice was shaky. “I just love you so much. And I don’t know what to do. I should’ve been here with you, holding your hand and telling you just how much you mean to me.” A few tears slipped free and crept down his tanned cheeks. “You are everything to me, Bianca, but I bet you didn’t know that yesterday.”

“Nick, I do know that. None of this is your fault,” she tried to make him feel better. With tears shining in her eyes she said, “You know the only thing that I could think about was you. I was absolutely terrified, but I kept thinking about you and how much I love you. That’s the only thing that kept me going. And now we don’t have anything to worry about because it’s over and I’m safe. Everything is going to be back to normal.”

Before either one of them could say anything else there was a loud knock at the door.

“Come in,” Bianca called. I wonder who that is.”

“Miss Parker,” a heavyset police officer entered the hospital room. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but I have some news on the man you said attacked you.”

“What?” she asked quickly.

“We have him in custody now, but we’ll need you to make an ID from a line-up. When--”

“I’ll do that today as soon as I’m released,” she answered, cutting him off. “Thank you, Officer-”

“Brigham.”

“Thank you, Officer Brigham.”

“No problem ma’am. Just ask for me when you come to the station.”

When the officer was gone, Nick squeezed Bianca’s hand. “Bean, the man you said attacked you? Do you have any idea who he might be? I mean, if the police have him in custody then you must have gotten a good look at him.”

“Well, yeah, I got a pretty good look at him. In fact, I know him,” she tried to tiptoe around the subject.

“You know him? Who is he?” Nick asked quickly, his concern rapidly turning into anger. “Do I know who he is?”

“It was Eric,” she whispered almost inaudibly.

“What? Eric?” Nick’s voice rose. He could feel his blood boiling. “How the hell did Eric get to you again?!”

“Baby, I don’t know how he managed to do it, but he did,” she said. With a hint of hesitation she continued, “In a way, it’s good that he did.”

“How on earth do you figure it was a good thing?” Nick screeched.

“Because the police arrested him and he can’t hurt anybody else. Now I don’t have to worry about him.”

Nick leaned in and gave Bianca a tender kiss. “Somehow it seems like Eric is getting out too easily. Jail is nothing compared to what I want to do to the son of a bitch. But as long as he can’t hurt you any more, I won’t worry about it either.” I’ll just worry about trying not to kill him today.

“Thank you, baby,” she said quietly.

“Look, I am not interested in screwing around. You have contact with her, do you not?”

“Yeah, I do, but…”

“Then what the hell is your problem?”

“See, the thing is, she’s never alone. Never.”

“I don’t care how you do it, but you damn well better get to her and let her know that we’re aware of everything she does and that we are planning to have a small get together soon. If you don’t let her know something soon, you’re going to be very sorry. Now, get the hell out of here.”


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“Do you know that I was sure I was going to marry Eric one day? It’s funny how things work out. I broke up with him a month before Bree and I moved to Florida,” Bianca sighed as she and Nick drove to the police station. “I didn’t want to worry about having a relationship while I was auditioning, you know? I mean, damn, it’s hard enough to live my life normally as it is…could you have imagined if I had come here with that much to worry about? I just let him down easily. I did it in person…to show him that I respected him. I figured he would understand because it would just be too hard to have a long distance relationship.”

“That is a good reason though. This is a hard life to live, but you’re gonna have sacrifices to make if you want to succeed in this business,” Nick said, giving Bianca’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“That’s what I told him. After I finished talking, he just sat there for a minute, and then out of nowhere, he grabbed my shoulders and started yelling at me. He never hit me, but God knows I thought he was going to. He yelled so loud and shook me so hard. I finally got away from him and told him if he didn’t get out of my house I would call the police.”

“What happened?” Nick asked after Bianca had been quiet for a bit. “Did he leave?”

“Nope. He shoved me against the wall…hard. I remember I lost my breath. Then he grabbed my neck and started telling me…wh-…what he was gonna do to me,” Bianca finished as a tiny sob escaped her throat. “I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, please don’t apologize,” Nick placed his large palm on the side of her face.

“My brother walked in and got Eric off of me and called the police. We never told my mom; that’s why he was with her at that one show. I guess I never told my mom because I was scared he would hurt her. If she had known, she definitely would not have had anything else to do with him. He swore he would get me back; that I would be sorry. I never took him seriously though, even after he attacked me backstage. I thought I was completely untouchable. I was so wrong.” Bianca sighed as Nick parked the vehicle and switched it off. “This is it…time to put him away.”

“Just think of it like this: all you have to do is go in there and ID him and leave. Eric won’t see you at all. Then we can leave and get you home. Nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Nicky…nothing to worry about.”


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****SAME TIME****

Brian walked into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee pot. “Morning, baby,” he said, trying to place a kiss on top of Nicole’s head. When she ducked out of his way, Brian looked at her with confusion written on his face. “Nikki? You okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” she said and continued to eat her bagel. “What makes you think something is wrong with me?”

“Okay, I know something’s wrong, now what is it?”

“What’s wrong? Well, first of all, yesterday you left me here to go see that nurse at the hospital. That was pretty cheap, making me think that you had gone to see how Bianca was. On top of that, you left me here at lunch time and stayed gone until seven-thirty. Thanks again for calling and letting me know you were okay, I really do appreciate that.”

Brian opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. A look of confusion crossed his tanned face. The confusion turned to a slight look of guilt, but quickly turned to anger. “You didn’t want to come with me to the hospital yesterday, and if you wanted to get a hold of me, you could have called my cell phone. SO what if I decided to go see an old friend? What’s wrong with that anyway? I wouldn’t say anything to you if you had an old friend you wanted to go visit and catch up with.”

“Oh please,” Nicole spat, shoving herself away from the table. “Of all the funny things you could say. You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go back to the hospital after lunch. You ASSUMED I didn’t want to go because you must have been afraid that I would say yes if you DID ask me to go. Don’t even say anything about calling your phone because you know damn well you didn’t have it on anyway,” she said, standing inches away with her finger to Brian’s chest. “And Brian, you can go see all the friends you want, but don’t expect me to sit around and be a perfect, pretty little Backstreet girlfriend when you decide to ditch me for an old bed buddy. Okay? Does that clear things up for you at all?” she asked and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Brian shocked and even more confused than before.


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“Okay, Miss Parker, can you tell us which of these men attacked you?” a tall, slim officer asked slowly.

“Number five,” she answered without hesitation. “That’s him.”

“Are you sure? You may want to take a few minutes to make sure you are certain who attacked you.”

“Listen, I don’t need a few minutes because he’s the one who did this. This isn’t the first time he has attacked me, okay? So just take my word for it,” she snapped angrily.

“Alright, Miss Parker,” the officer said nodding at Officer Brigham to take Bianca out of the room.

Before Bianca and Nick left the police station and officer walked over and handed Bianca and envelope. “This was left for you today. They said they knew you would be here.”

“Thanks,” Bianca replied, the confusion evident in her voice.

“What is it?” Nick asked.

Without answering his question, she opened the envelope and removed a carefully folded piece of paper. On it a message was neatly hand-written:

“You thought you could avoid me forever; that I would never ever get to you. Oh how WRONG you were. I got to you, not once, but twice. And I bet if I tried, I could do it again. But what fun would that be? I haven’t really thought things out that far, but don’t you worry, Bean. Just remember something, okay? You made it big, but that doesn’t make you safe. You aren’t untouchable bitch…NEVER forget that. Love, E.”

Bianca did her best to show no emotion as she read and after closing the letter. Luckily she was able to act calm. “Nothin baby. Just a fan letter,” she smiled and placed the letter in her pocket. “Let’s go home, okay? I wanna see my mom and rest a little.” One thought kept running through her mind as the day wore on. ‘You aren’t untouchable…’ Was something else going to happen? She would have to wait and see.

****ONE MONTH LATER****

“Mama, you don’t need to worry about me when you go back home. This time I am safe,” Bianca smiled and embraced her mother in a warm hug. “Eric is in jail, and you know I have Madd Dog now.”

After Bianca positively identified Eric as her attacker, he had been put in jail…they had enough proof that Eric did attack Bianca and didn’t need to have a trial. Once things had gotten somewhat back to normal, Bianca’s management, mother, and the guys decided that she needed her own bodyguard. Up until her attack the guys’ security had been looking out for Bianca, but it was clear to everyone that Bianca was in need of her own security. As her mother put it in her thick southern drawl, “It’s high time y’all start lookin’ after my baby like you should.”

That’s where Madd Dog came in. AJ had told Bianca that her bodyguard needed to have a scary name and appearance; Madd Dog definitely fit that description. He was tall, at least six feet five inches, and he was big…almost all muscle. Bianca thought he looked like a thinner version of Q. Madd Dog definitely took care of her.

“I know that sweetheart, but I am your mother and I am going to worry about you…no matter what.”

“I know, Mama,” Bianca smiled. “I love you and I’m gonna miss you so much. I’ll call you as often as I can.”

The door to the limo opened and Madd Dog looked inside. He cleared his throat and said, “Sorry to interrupt, but you’re gonna miss your flight Mrs. Parker.”

“Okay darlin’,” she replied.

Bianca smiled. Only her mother could call a six foot five inch, three hundred pound killing machine “darlin’” and get away with it. He’s more of a Teddy Bear than a Madd Dog. Are you sure he’ll get the job done? had been her mother’s question at first sight. This caused the entire room, including Madd Dog himself, to erupt in a fit of laughter.

“Call me and let me know you got home safe. I love you, Mama.”

“Love you, baby. Be good! Take care of her, Madd Dog.”


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AJ sat holding Kyra while Brianna made lunch and Kevin was outside doing ‘manly things’ as AJ put it. ‘I don’t need to build things to prove I’m a man,’ AJ had scoffed jokingly.

“Are you and Kyra okay in there?” Brianna called. “It’s too quiet.”

“We’re absolutely fine,” AJ called back. “K’s just playin’ with her baby gym. She’s gettin’ real big. What are y’all feeding her, Bree?”

Brianna laughed at AJ’s question. “Baby Miracle Grow…I like to call it food.”

“She could be the next Gerber baby. You and Kevin should look into that.”

“We should look into what?” Kevin asked as he walked into the living room and lifted his daughter off of the floor. “How’s my baby girl?”

“I think Kyra should be the next Gerber baby,” AJ answered Kevin’s initial question.

“Lunch is ready,” Brianna walked into the room with a plate full of food and a soda. “Go make yourselves a sandwich and eat. Don’t leave all the food sittin’ out too long,” she said and looked up to find the two men pouting. “What? Did you think that I was gonna make your plates, too?” she laughed. “I guess you’re too manly to fix your own lunch, huh?”

“No, just tired,” Kevin replied getting off the couch and handing Kyra to Brianna. Heading for the kitchen he called, “C’mon AJ, I’m sure as hell not fixin’ your lunch.”

“Poor babies,” Brianna laughed. Looking at Kyra, she asked, “Aren’t Daddy and Uncle Bone funny?”


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“No!” Ivy screamed. “Go away…leave me alone,” she jerked away from the large man holding her arm.

“Why don’t you understand? You’re mine and you always will be. I love you, Ivy,” he said in a menacing tone.

“No, you don’t love me! I hate you, leave me alone!” she screamed again, trying to shove him away. “You don’t love me, you never have.”

“We belong together,” he said, pushing Ivy against the wall. “You can never leave me…I won’t let you,” he raised his hand to strike her.

Before she knew what was happening; Ivy looked down and realized she was holding a gun. Her eyes widened…How did I get a gun? Raising the gun, she looked him in the eyes. “Let me go. I want you to leave, now!”

Laughing bitterly, he reached out to snatch the gun away from her. All of a sudden the sound of the gun broke the deathly silence. “You’ll be sorry, Ivy,” he choked out evilly before death consumed him.

Ivy sat up with a start. Tears streaming down her face and drenched in sweat, she realized it had been nothing more than a horrible dream. Looking over to the other side of the bed, she saw Howie was still sleeping soundly. “He would sleep through an earthquake,” she mumbled to herself and snuggled up beside him. “It was only a dream,” she tried to reassure herself. “But it seemed so real.”


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Brian picked up the ringing telephone and turned the volume on the television down a notch. “Hello?” he greeted.

“Brian?”

“Yeah, this is Brian…Julie? Is that you? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he questioned, his concern evident.

“No, Brian, I’m not okay,” Julie sobbed. “It’s Daddy! I had to fly home to Kentucky…I’m on my way home from the airport now. It’s serious, Bri. I dunno exactly what’s wrong, but he’s in pretty bad condition from what my family told me over the phone. Oh, I don’t know what I would do if something were to happen to him!”

“I know, Jules,” Brian said in a comforting tone. He remembered that Julie had been a Daddy’s Girl since he’d known her.

Julie’s family was originally from Illinois, but her father’s job had relocated them to Kentucky. Ten year old Julie had fought tooth and nail to stay in Illinois, but despite the battle, she found herself in Kentucky next door to a---ewww---a boy. His mother was very nice---Mrs. Jackie---and his dad reminded her a lot of her own, but she just couldn’t grasp the concept of being friends with their two sons. To the dismay of both Julie and Brian, they had a lot in common. And---the shocker---they became best friends! Their families were very close and the two did everything together. It was only natural when Brian and Julie became a couple. They were “perfect for each other” according to EVERYONE.

Then, when Brian’s big break came along, they made a mutual agreement to go back to being the perfect best friends. They both knew it would just be too hard to have a long distance relationship, especially at the beginning of Brian’s career when he would be out of the country. At first they were both really good at keeping in touch with one another, but after a while, when BSB really hit it big in the United States, they just kinda lost contact. Even though Brian didn’t know where Julie was or how she was doing, Julie always kept tabs on how Brian and his group were. Now, they were back together and they were both determined not to loose each other ever again.

Brian said a prayer with Julie and sighed, “Jules, don’t worry. He’ll be okay. Remember, I’m praying for him, and you too. I love you.”

“Thanks, B. I love you, too. I’ll call you later.”

Brian clicked the telephone off and let out another sigh. He knew how worried Julie was, but he knew her father would be okay. Brian believed that with all his heart. Looking up, he saw Nicole standing in the doorway with tears gleaming in her eyes. “Nic…” he started before she turned and ran up the stairs. Brian flinched when he heard the bedroom door slam. “That’s so great…”


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“Okay, get this,” Nick started, looking around at his four best friends. “I think we should all get together and have a cookout or something.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Howie nodded in agreement.

“The tour is starting soon. And if we really think about it, this is like the only chance we’ll have to do this,” Brian added his thoughts. This would also give him a chance to straighten things out with Nicole.

“Well, then, I say we party!” AJ grinned.

“Let’s do this tomorrow,” Kevin interrupted. “That way we’ll have time to get food and other essential items. And we can let the girls, and whoever else, know what our plans are,” he finished staring at AJ.

“What?!” AJ tried to look innocent.

“C’mon, Bone! We all know you’re gonna bring some ‘friends’,” Nick laughed, making the quotations with his fingers.

“So what if I like to liven things up?” AJ’s grin widened. “Why not make the most of it!”

****THE NEXT MORNING****

Kevin wrapped his arms around Brianna from behind and placed a soft kiss on the base of her neck. “Hey baby,” he whispered.

“Hey you,” she said and leaned back into his warm, comforting embrace. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I did,” he smiled, placing more kisses on her neck. “What about you?”

“Like a baby,” she smiled. “I’m so glad Kyra slept through the night. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to get an entire night of sleep.”

“I know what you mean, darlin’,” Kevin chuckled. “But she’s gonna party tonight, so maybe we’ll tire her out.”

Brianna just laughed. “Baby, I’m gonna go see Bean for a little while this morning. I think it’s time for girl talk. We haven’t done that for a while,” she turned around in his arms and gave him a soft peck on his lips. “I’m gonna go get Kyra ready to go.”

“Why don’t you leave her here? We can have a father-daughter bonding time,” he said with a grin. “You go have fun, and me and K will have some fun here.”

“Okay, sweetie, you can keep Kyra here. I won’t be gone too long anyway. There’s too much to do.” Smiling, Brianna gave Kevin a long soft kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Bree. Be careful.”


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Brianna raised her hand to knock on the door just as it opened. “Hey, Bree,” Nick greeted with a lopsided grin.

“Hey,” Brianna replied. “Oh, are y’all going somewhere?”

“No, just me,” he answered getting his car key out. “Bianca was in the bathroom just a minute ago. She’s not feeling well today.”

“Okay. I’m not gonna stay long then. Is she upstairs or down?”

“Upstairs in the master bathroom,” he answered before getting into his car.

“Bianca?” Brianna called shutting the front door behind her. “Bean?” She made her way up the staircase to Bianca and Nick’s bedroom. Without knocking, she went in and saw the door to their bathroom was cracked slightly. She heard the toilet flush and called again, “Bean? You okay?” Brianna pulled the door open and peered inside. She quickly rushed over to Bianca when she saw her best friend. “Bean? What’s the matter?”

Bianca was sitting on the floor with her head hanging down so that her chin was on her chest. It was obvious she was crying…sobbing was a better word. Her skin was pale and her hair was damp with sweat. There were still beads of perspiration clinging to her forehead and her upper lip. She had her eyes shut tightly and her left hand was resting on her stomach.

“Bean…” Brianna stopped when she saw the pregnancy test in Bianca’s right hand. “Bean…are you…?”

Without opening her eyes, she nodded and a tear slipped free and slid down her cheek.

“Well, why are you crying?” Brianna asked, surprised. “This is great…you should be happy.”

“It’s not Nick’s,” she choked out.

“What?” Brianna questioned, confused.

“This is not Nick’s baby!” Bianca yelled, finally opening her eyes. “It’s not his…”she began to cry again.

“How is it not Nick’s baby?”

“Because, Brianna, I haven’t slept with Nick since before my birthday and we used protection then. I didn’t even consider something like this…how could I think this couldn’t happen? It’s not like Eric had a condom ready.”

Brianna wrapped her arms around Bianca’s shoulders. “You haven’t told Nick yet, have you?” When Bianca shook her head “no”, Brianna sighed. “Don’t you think you should?”

“I will…I just can’t right now,” Bianca said, wiping her eyes. “I’ll tell him soon…”


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****LATER AT THE COOKOUT****

AJ walked over to the stereo and turned the volume up as high as it would go. Walking over to where the girls were sitting, he grinned and asked, “Would any of you lovely ladies care to dance?” He had surprised everyone when he showed up alone and announced no one would be joining him later. When no one answered, he made a face. “You mean to tell me that none of you have the urge to dance?”

“I’ll dance,” Brianna smiled and walked over to AJ. “I don’t want to be a party pooper.”

“Alright,” AJ winked at Bianca, Nicole, and Ivy. “I’ll come back for y’all later.”

Nick made his way over to the picnic table where the three girls were watching AJ and Brianna dance. Sitting down beside Bianca, he took her hand in his and smiled. “Are you okay, baby? You seem like something is bothering you.”

“Hmm? Oh, baby, I’m fine. I’m still feeling a little under the weather,” she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t worry so much, Nicky.”

Just then the music changed and the soft sounds of a piano filled the air.

Love wandered inside, stronger than you, stronger than I.

Nick stood up and held his hand out to Bianca. “May I have this dance?”

And now that it has begun, we cannot turn back, we can only turn into one.

Bianca placed her hand in Nick’s and slowly stood up. She let Nick pull her close to him and wrap his arms around her as he sang softly in her ear.

I won’t ever be to far to feel you
And I won’t hesitate at all
And I’ll always remember the part of you so tender
I’ll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call*

Bianca pulled away from Nick and wiped her eyes. “Nick, I need to…go for a ride. I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Bean, what’s wrong?” he asked before she pulled away from him and ran into the house.

Brianna quickly headed in after her, hoping she could catch Bianca before she left. She got in before Bianca could make it out the door. “Bean? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I just need some time alone to get my thoughts straight.”

“Why are you doing this? You’re acting like a damn child!” Brianna snapped.

“Oh, I’m acting like a child because I’m scared and I don’t know what to do? Forgive me for being terrified about my current situation. But didn’t you run out on everybody last year? Or am I wrong? I’m sorry I thought you, of all people, would be understanding and willing to listen; maybe give me some advice,” Bianca yelled, her face red. She sucked in a deep breath and let it our slowly. Barely above a whisper, she said, “Sorry I thought I could count on your friendship…I didn’t know that would be too much to ask.”

Brianna didn’t say anything to try and stop Bianca. She flinched slightly as the door slammed and Bianca’s car sped out of the driveway, “I just hope she’s okay.”


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Nick picked up the ringing telephone in the middle of the first ring, “Bianca?”

“No, man, it’s AJ. She’s still not home?”

“No,” Nick answered with a tired sigh. When Bianca stormed out, Nick had questioned Brianna about the situation because it was obvious that she knew what was going on. It’s not my place to tell you, Nick was all she would say. He got tired of getting nowhere so he decided to drive around and see if he could find Bianca and figure out what was going on. Now, It was a little after five and Bianca had been gone for about three hours. “If she calls you, please let me know. Thanks, man,” Nick said and put the phone down. He groaned when it started ringing again. Without taking time to greet the caller h said, “No, she isn’t home yet, I haven’t heard from her and nobody else has either.”

The line was silent for a minute then a soft voice spoke, “That’s because I haven’t called anyone, Nicky.”

“Bianca! Where are you? Are you okay? Please, you have to tell me what’s going on….what could be so bad that you can’t tell me? I’ve been so worried not knowing where you were,” Nick said in one breath.

“I’m fine, Nick, I just needed to clear my mind. I think you should understand. I was wondering if you would meet me somewhere. So we can talk.”

“Sure, baby,” he answered quickly. “Just tell me where,” his voice was soft and seemed to melt Bianca’s heart. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she sighed.

Fifteen minutes later, Nick was heading to Starbucks to talk to Bianca. He was more relieved than ever when she called him. He had been beginning to wonder if she was okay. “Hey, baby,” he greeted her with a warm kiss.”

“Hey, Nicky,” her voice held a hint of sadness. She stared into her cappuccino and sighed. “I’m sorry I ran off like that today. I just needed time to myself. I had a lot of thinking to do.”

“I understand, Bean,” he reached across the small table and took her hand in his. Running his thumb gently over her knuckles, he reached his fee hand up and tipped her face up so she was looking at him. “Did you clear your mind?”

Bianca’s blue eyes watered over and her lip began to tremble slightly. She nodded slowly and squeezed his large hand. “I think I’m gonna take the offer from Jive to headline a tour this fall. And-”

“What? Why?” he interrupted, his eyes wide with surprise.

“I think it’s a good opportunity for me,” she said and looked back down at the coffee. “And I think we need to take some time off.”

“We?” he asked, a look of pain filling his eyes. “As in you and me? Why Bean?”

“I just think it would be for the best,” she said and pulled her hands away. She kept her eyes toward the table so he wouldn’t see the regret in her eyes---she had to do this. It was for the best….wasn’t it? Yes, of course it is! “You’re young…we both are…and I feel like I’m holding you back…there could be something better out there, Nick.”

“No!” his voice rose. “Why are you doing this? Look at me, damn it.”

Bianca looked at him. Amazingly, she kept her cool, even though she could feel her heart breaking. She wanted to grab him and tell him that it was just a mean joke and she didn’t mean any of it, but she knew she had to do this. “I just think that we both need a break from each other. I don’t want to be in the way of something that could be better than anything you have right now,” she said and stood up. “If we are really meant to be together, then we’ll find a way back to each other.” She reached her hand out and placed it on Nick’s cheek and wiped a tear away with her thumb. “I’ll go get my stuff later, if you don’t mind…it would be too hard right now.”

Nick watched as she began to walk away. “Bean?” his voice broke. When she turned around, he took a deep breath and walked up to her. “Loving you is like breathing. How can I stop?”

Bianca couldn’t hide her tears any longer. “Baby, I hope you don’t because I know I will never stop loving you.” She reached out and traced his lips, then turned and walked away leaving him standing there hurt and confused. She didn’t want him to see the pieces of her heart break even more.


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*"Whenever You Call"--Mariah Carey

****TWO WEEKS LATER****

The guys were leaving the studio after rehearsing for nearly four and a half hours. They would be rehearsing for another week before their fall tour started and they were already exhausted. “Man,” Brian said with an exaggerated sigh. “I am pooped.”

“Who here can tell Brian is a country boy?” AJ cracked, causing the others to laugh.

“I am not,” Brian defended himself with a frown.

“Rok, who uses that phrase?” AJ raised his eyebrows and waited for Brian to answer.

“Well,” Brian scratched his head, “my mom says it and my grandparents have said it before. I think I’ve heard my dad use it a couple of times, too.”

“And where are you and your family from?”

“Kentucky…” Brian said giving AJ an expression that said ‘Duh! You knew that!’

“Precisely…that expression plus Kentucky equals Country. It’s a very simple equation really,” AJ grinned.

“I am NOT country,” Brian pouted.

“How bout we all go home and get showered and changed and we all go out to dinner?” Howie suggested when the conversation died.

“That’s a good idea,” Kevin nodded his agreement.

“Sounds cool to me,” AJ replied while Brian nodded.

“Nick? What do you think?” Kevin questioned when he failed to respond.

“You guys go ahead without me. I think I’m gonna go home and go to bed. Rehearsals are killing me,” he said, not meeting anyone’s gaze.

After Bianca left, Nick went back into a shell he had formed years earlier. He was upset, but instead of being sad or hurt, he became angry. He found himself snapping at people for no reason and decided that he was better off not talking if that’s what he was gonna do. Better to keep my anger to myself than to take it out on my friends. He just didn’t understand anything anymore. Things had been fine and he was there for Bianca when she needed him; then she left. If Bianca didn’t want to be with him anymore, that was fine, but he wanted an explanation. She owed him that. Without saying a word to the other four, he climbed into his Durango and sped off.

“I don’t think he’s hungry,” AJ broke the silence. When no one laughed he shrugged and said, “What? It’s a joke…I thought it was funny.”


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The four guys, Brianna, Ivy and Nicole all sat around the table enjoying their meals. Brian finally looked at the group and sighed. “I’m worried about Nick.”

“Because Bianca left? She’s a woman,” AJ stopped when all three women began to stare at him. “No offense, but what I mean is, stuff like that happens all the time. It’s no big deal. He’ll get over it.”

“Really? Cause if I remember correctly, when Cassie left you, you were a wreck,” Brian quickly retorted. When AJ remained silent, Brian continued, “Nick is entitled to his feelings, but it’s not healthy for him to completely isolate himself from everyone. And don’t you think the fans are gonna notice his behavior and mood?”

“Yeah, but what can we do?” Howie asked. “Nick has done everything short of flat out telling us to stay out of his life.”

“That’s true, Brian,” AJ said.

“Why don’t we-” he started to say something but Brianna interrupted.

“Why don’t all of you stay out of it and let him handle it? It’s not a decision for y’all to make,” she stated matter-of-factly. She and Bianca still hadn’t spoken, but she knew the reason her friend walked out. It may not have been the best decision, but it’s none of my business.

“She’s right,” Nicole agreed.

“Why don’t you let Bean and Nick figure things out on their own time. Besides, you’ve all got really good stage faces, so I don’t think the fans will know,” Brianna added.

“Okay,” Kevin smiled at Bree. “On to our next issue…the new dancer.”

He was met with a groan from AJ. “Man, she has to go…she’s gonna break my freakin’ foot!”


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Bianca sat on the edge of a large stage resting between songs. She would be touring in a matter of weeks and had a ton of rehearsals not to mention interviews and promotions to get through. She knew headlining a tour would be a lot of hard work, but as long as she didn’t have time to sit and think about the last two months of her life, she was good to go. Bianca kept herself busy enough during the day to be completely exhausted at night. She didn’t have time to answer any questions from anyone, not even herself, and that’s the way she liked it.

“Ready to start again?” her choreographer made it sounds more like an order than a question. “We’ve got a lot to do and we’re already short on time, so let’s get everything done.”

Getting up, Bianca immediately threw herself into the routines only thinking about perfection. That’s all that mattered. At least ONE thing in her life could be perfect.


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****TWO WEEKS LATER****

Brian and Nicole were sitting on the couch in their hotel room watching a movie and eating lunch. Since this was the first day the guys were off, they decided to spend the entire day together doing nothing. The next concert was in two days in Kentucky and Brian seemed to get more excited at the day went by. He couldn’t stop talking about getting home and seeing his family.

“I’m glad you’re finally gonna meet my parents, baby,” Brian smiled and slid his fingers through Nicole’s. “My mom is so excited, too. Every time I’ve talked to her, that’s all she’s talked about. And she’s asked me any and every question under the sun to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“Baby, tell her she doesn’t have to go out of her way,” Nicole moved closer and ran her free hand through Brian’s curls. “I’m just as excited to meet your mom, too.”

Brian opened his mouth to say something just as the telephone began to ring. “Hello?”

“I’m sorry to bother you Mr. Littrell,” the woman at the front desk began. “I know I’m not supposed to put any fans through, but this girl insisted that she knows you and says she had tried to call your cell phone already. I felt bad for her…I’m really sorry-”

“It’s okay,” he interrupted her, trying his best not to loose his patience. “Did you happen to get her name?”

“Yes, she said her name was Julie Lewis.”

“Put her though,” he said quickly.

“Brian!” Julie said, relieved. She sounded like she had been crying. “I am so glad she put me through. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about calling and asking your mom for your room number until after the receptionist put me on hold. By that time I knew it was too late and it would have pissed you off if I hadn’t been on the line, so I waited-”

“What’s the matter? You’re rambling…like you always do when something’s wrong,” he said. “Are you okay?”

As soon as she heard Brian ask, Julie burst into tears. Soon she was sobbing and almost unable to breathe. “Brian, it’s…my…” she couldn’t get the right words out.

“It’s okay. Just take a deep breath and tell me when you’re ready,” he said in a soothing voice.

“Is everything alright?” Nicole asked, giving Brian’s hand a gentle squeeze.

He shrugged and whispered, “I don’t know yet.”

Julie took another breath and let it out slowly. “It’s…” she tried to fight back her tears. “It’s daddy…he…he…died. Brian, he died last night,” she broke down again.

“Oh, God, Jules, I’m so sorry. What happened?” he asked, feeling terrible for her.

“He was going to bed last night and he just kinda collapsed. They rushed him to the hospital, but by the time my mom called me and I got there, it was too late. He had a massive heart attack. He was fine yesterday…”

“I thought your dad was already in the hospital…what happened? When did he go home?”

“The doctors said that he was just undergoing a little too much stress in his everyday life, but that was it. They kept him overnight then sent him home. I thought he was okay and then, all of a sudden, he’s gone.”

“I’m coming to Kentucky,” Brian said suddenly. “We’re supposed to be there in two days anyway. I’ll just come early.”

“You don’t have to do that…it would be too much trouble,” Julie protested.

“No, Jules, I’m coming. I’m leaving this afternoon…as soon as I can. I want to come, okay? It’s not too much trouble to be there for you,” he said, his voice soft. “I’ll get the next flight out, okay? I love you, Jules.”

“Thank you, Brian” her voice began to break again. “I love you.”

When Brian ended the call and looked up, Nicole was staring at him with her arms crossed. “So, you’re leaving today?”

“I really think I should, Nikki,” he said with a soft sigh. “She really needs some support.”

“And you need to go be that support?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“I’ve known Julie since I was eleven, I think it would be good for me to be there. I knew her dad pretty well and I feel like I need to go.”

Nicole’s expressions softened when she realized exactly what was going on…he lost someone too. “Baby, I’m sorry. Hey, I can go with you…I don’t mind.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” he replied.

“Oh,” she looked hurt. Standing up, she started for the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Nikki,” he called following her.

“No, I understand,” she stopped to look at him and replied coolly. “You’re leaving me here for Julie.”

“It’s not like that at all,” Brian defended angrily.

“Yes, it is, Brian. I’m sorry Julie’s father died. It’s unfortunate and I hate it. I have no idea what she’s going through, but I know it is painful. But Brian, you are ditching me here on this tour to go to her and that hurts.”

“Look, Nicole, I’m sorry you feel this way, but I’m going. It’s only for two days.”

“This may sound very insensitive, but if you do go, I won’t be joining you in Kentucky,” she said. When Brian nodded and went into the bedroom, Nicole closed her eyes and fought back her tears. I love you, Brian. I’m going to miss you.

***LATER***

Brian sat staring out the window of the airplane thinking about what he was doing. One minute he was spending a lazy afternoon with Nicole and the next minute he was on his way to Kentucky to be with Julie. Am I doing the right thing? he asked himself for the hundredth time. Yes, of course I am. Julie needs me and she would do the same thing for me.

Glancing down at his watch, he sighed. He knew the flight wouldn’t last much longer; he decided to wait and call Nicole when he got home instead of during the flight. Knowing her temper, if Brian called during the flight she would be even angrier than before and he did not want that. He wanted to give Nicole some time to cool down before he tried to talk to her. He knew one thing was for sure, if he waited to long or didn’t call at all, Nicole not only wouldn’t be meeting him in Kentucky in two days, but she probably wouldn’t talk to him again for a while.

Brian let out another sigh as he continued to stare out the window. Waiting really sucks.


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Ivy was in the kitchen of the hotel suite fixing dinner. She and Howie decided to make dinner at least one night a week instead of ordering room service or eating out. Tonight was supposed to be Howie’s night to cook, but he bribed Ivy with a promise to clean up after dinner and a massage.

“Hun, can you get that?” she called to Howie when the phone began to ring.

“Sure, baby,” he replied. Ivy listened as he answered the phone. “Hello? Yeah, one sec. It’s for you,” he rounded the corner, covering the phone with one hand.

Walking over to where she could reach the phone, she told Howie, “Put it on my shoulder, please. I don’t wanna get the phone dirty. Thanks, babe. Hello?” when no one said anything, she asked Howie, “Are you sure it was for me?”

“Yes, it’s for you,” a deep, gruff voice responded. “I’m tired of playing games, Ivy. I know all about you, Ivy,” his voice was menacing and full of hate. “You’re going to pay, but when the time is right.”

“Who is this?” she whispered, just as she heard a click. Oh my God, she thought, her heart and mind racing wildly. He knows.

“Who was that?” How asked, startling Ivy.

“Huh? Oh, wrong number. Funny how they got a number with an Ivy…what are the odds?” she said, hoping Howie wouldn’t notice how badly her hands were shaking.

“Are you okay?” he asked. When Ivy nodded, he smiled. “Okay, sweetie. Boy, this smells good.” Placing a kiss on her cheek he told her, “If you need any help, let me know,” then went back to the TV.


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Brian reached up and rang the doorbell of 415 North Walter Street—an action he had performed several times in the past. The large oak door opened slowly to reveal Mrs. Annette Lewis. Without a moment’s hesitation, he reached out and gave her a hug. He didn’t say anything. After all, what could he say?

When Annette pulled away she offered a tired smile. “It’s so good to see you, Brian. I wish this could be under better circumstances,” she paused and wiped her eyes. Smiling warmly, Annette told Brian to follow her. “It was so sweet of you to fly out here like this, Brian. Julie will be happy to see you.” Stopping at the bottom of the staircase, she motioned for Brian to go up. “She’s in her room.”

Brian made his way up the stairs and he found himself outside her door. The sign that read “Julie’s Room” was still up; standing there brought back a flood of memories. Brian used the same routine he always used—two knocks. When he peeked into the room he saw Julie’s back was to the door.

“Go away,” he heard her sniffle.

“Now, Jules, you want me to go away after I flew all the way out here,” he said jokingly.

Julie rolled over and smiled slightly. “Duckie…” she whispered through her tears.

When Julie found out Brian’s nickname was ‘Baby Duck’ she decided to adapt it so she could use it around other people. She knew there was no way she could ever call Brian ‘Baby Duck’ and he would survive. That’s where ‘Duckie’ came from…everyone just assumed that it was because of the movie Pretty In Pink. No one had to know the truth…

“Hey,” Brian said softly and sat down on the edge of her bed. Looking around, he realized nothing in her room had changed. “How ya holdin’ up?”

“I’ve been a lot better,” Julie said, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. She took a deep, shaky breath and whispered, “It’s really weird.”

Brian nodded. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. “I know.”

“I just don’t get it,” she began to cry. “He was fine. Joking around and being himself…then the next thing I know, he’s gone.” Julie let Brian take her in his arms. “It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not,” he agreed, “but he’s better off now. I wish there was something I could do.”

“I’m just glad you’re here, Duckie. I know you must have had things to do and I’m sorry I interrupted, but I knew I had to call you.”

“And I couldn’t be happier that you called me,” he said and placed a kiss on Julie’s forehead. “I was thrilled to come, but it’s like your mom said—I wish it could be under different circumstances.”

Leaning back on the bed, Brian pulled Julie back so her head was resting on his chest. Running his fingers through her soft hair, he began to sing softly. Before he finished, Julie’s tears had stopped and her breathing had steadied. Letting his hand rest on her back, Brian closed his eyes and soon, he was asleep as well.


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AJ stood with a security guard waiting for the elevator. He decided to spend his day off shopping by himself—well, almost. He only wanted out of the hotel and away from the guys; they all wanted that. When his cell phone began to ring, he groaned. “They knew I went out to get away from everything…why do they need to call to check up on me? I am a grown man…”

Q laughed as AJ continued to complain. “You aren’t gonna answer it?”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Maybe it’s important. It might not even be one of the guys…could be your mom, and you know she’ll kick your ass.”

AJ looked at him for a moment then pulled his phone out. “Good point. Yeah?”

“AJ?”

“Yes, and who is this?”

“It’s Bianca.”

“Bean! Hey…what’s up?” What happened to you?” he asked with a laugh.

“Nothin’…just the normal stuff. I actually have something to ask you, and it’s kind of important. Are you alone? I don’t want Nick to know that I called.”

“Well, Q is with me right now, but I’m actually heading back to my room. Looks like you called at a good time.”

“I guess I have good timing,” she replied sadly.

“Okay, I’m in my room,” AJ said, shutting the door behind him. “Are you okay?”

“No, not really,” she said, truthfully. “But I don’t want to get into all of it over the phone. I have the next few days off because one of my dancers broke her leg and we have yet to find a replacement. Would you meet me in person to talk? I know y’all are gonna be in Kentucky in the next couple of days. Will you meet me somewhere to talk then? Please?”

“Sure…but what about Nick?”

“Don’t say anything to him…I can’t see him now. I’m not ready for that yet,” she said, her voice catching. “Thank you AJ. I’ll call you later.”

“Cool. Take care, Bean.”

Brianna sat watching Kyra squirm around on her blanket. She was kicking her legs and cooing. Brianna smiled and lifted her daughter onto her lap. “You are a mess,” she laughed. “How did I ever get this lucky?”

Brianna jumped slightly as the phone began to ring. “That’s probably your Daddy,” she said to Kyra in a sing song voice before reaching over and greeting the caller. “Hey, baby.”

“Bree?”

“Yeah…Bianca?”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “What’s going on?” She really didn’t know what to say. It had been a month since she had talked to Brianna. “How’s Kyra?”

“She’s getting big,” Brianna felt herself smile. “How is everything? Is the tour going well?”

“Yeah, as well as could be expected. One of my dancer’s is out so I have a few days off while management finds a replacement,” Bianca answered quietly.

There was an awkward silence as Brianna thought what to say next. “Have you talked to Nick?”

“No,” Bianca said sadly.

“Don’t you think you should?”

“Oh, I know I should call him…I just can’t. It’s not that easy. I walked out and left him hanging…I doubt he would want to talk to me anyway,” Bianca answered quickly.

“You’re wrong, Bean. He’s upset, yes; he has a right to be…don’t you think? I mean, you really can’t blame him for being angry, but he loves you--”

“Okay, subject change please,” Bianca said sharply.

Brianna let out a soft sigh. “How’s the baby?” When Bianca didn’t respond right away, Brianna thought maybe she had hung up. “Bean?”

“Yeah, I’m here…the baby’s fine.”

“What’s the matter? Oh, you didn’t, Bianca…”

“No, I didn’t,” she replied.

“You’re not thinking about that, are you?” Brianna questioned. When Bianca didn’t respond, Brianna let out a disgusted sigh. “I can’t believe you.”

“Look, I’ve gotta go. This was a bad idea. Sorry I bothered you,” Bianca said and ended the call before Brianna could say anything else.

Brianna placed the phone back on its cradle. Letting out another sigh, she shook her head. No matter what happened, Bianca would always be her best friend and she loved her, but she just hoped and prayed that Bianca would make the right decision.

***THE NEXT DAY***

Everyone was up and on the tour buses prepared for a long day of driving. Kevin, Brianna and Kyra were sharing a bus, Howie and Ivy were sharing, and the two singles—AJ and Nick—were sharing.

The other guys thought maybe AJ could help cheer Nick up, but now he wasn’t so sure. After all, AJ felt a little guilty about hearing from Bianca. He didn’t know if Nick had heard from her, but he had a pretty good idea that she hadn’t called.

“Hey, Nick, you wanna play some video games or something?” AJ asked as he peeked into Nick’s bunk.

Nick was lying propped up on his side with his back to AJ and he looked like he was writing something. “No,” he said without hesitation.

AJ sighed, he was used to Nick’s one word responses—all of them were, but this was getting ridiculous. “Okay, man, but if you change your mind, I’ll be in the entertainment room.” He waited a second to see if Nick would respond; when he didn’t, AJ shook his head and left without another word.

Nick sighed to himself and continued writing. He didn’t feel like talking or playing video games—he wanted to be alone. He wanted to write because he was venting and it made him feel a little bit better. At least he wasn’t doing stuff that could get him in trouble or taking his anger out on the guys or anyone else! He let out another sigh and kept writing. It’s gonna be a long day.


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***THE NEXT AFTERNOON

Brian and Julie were on their way back to Julie’s house from her father’s visitation. She was quieter than he had ever seen her, but he didn’t try and force her to talk. He was just there for her. That’s all he could do.

Looking out the window, Brian did a double take at the person coming out of the ice cream shop across the street. It can’t be.

“Brian? Are you okay?” Julie asked softly. “The light’s green.”

“Oh!” he said and immediately started forward. “Julie, can you hand me my phone?”

“Sure, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll explain everything after I make this call,” he said hitting a number on his speed-dial. “Kev, hey cuz. Is Brianna nearby? Thanks.”

“Hello?” Brianna asked confused.

“Bree…hey. I’m not gonna keep you long. I just need to ask you something. Is Bianca supposed to be in Kentucky?”

“Not that I know of, why?”

“I thought I just saw her. If it wasn’t Bean, she has a twin here in Lexington because this girl looked just like her. I just thought you might know something.”

“Okay, Bri. Maybe it was just a look-alike. What are the chances she’d be here?”

“Maybe so. Sorry I bothered you. Bye.”

“So, what was that all about?” Julie asked when Brian ended the phone call.

“I just saw a girl that looked exactly like Nick’s ex-girlfriend,” he replied.

“Well, why does that matter?” Julie asked, confused.

“No one has seen or heard from her since she walked out on Nick a month ago. I mean, we know where she is because she’s touring, but she hasn’t called or anything.”

“Aww, poor Nicky.”

“Yeah, he’s taking it pretty hard,” Brian stated. Reaching down he squeezed Julie’s hand. “We need to get you home so you can get some rest.”


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Bianca flinched at the pain she was having while she waited for AJ. She had been having sharp pains most of the day, but didn’t think much about them—they were probably from all the dancing and exercising she’d been doing. Checking her watch, she saw that AJ was nearly twenty minutes late. She began to drum her fingers on the table and decided to wait a few more minutes.

Bianca looked up when she heard the bell on the door jingle as someone entered the small café. She was relieved when she saw AJ making his way toward her. “I was just about to give up on you," she forced a smile as he sat down.

“Sorry Bean, I had some trouble finding this place without asking Brian. So, are you doing okay?”

“Well, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been worse than I am right now,” the sadness was evident in her voice. “What about you and everyone else?”

“Nick’s fine,” he said, smiling. “He’s still not speaking more than one word to anyone, but he’s makin’ it.”

Bianca sighed heavily. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

“So, what’s the matter, Bean? I know I haven’t really been your favorite person.”

“Well, I have a really big favor to ask you, and I trust you. I’ll get right to the point. I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, watching the surprise register on his face. Bianca tore her gaze from his dark brown eyes in shame. “It’s Eric’s baby and…” her voice died.

AJ’s expression turned soft. “And you don’t want to have the baby.”

“No,” she answered, wiping her eyes. “I can’t AJ. I just can’t do it.”

(AN: Please remember this is FICTION! I am for pro-life and do not condone abortion. This is just a part of the story.)

“I understand,” he replied.

Bianca quickly looked up to meet his gaze. “You do?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but I an a little confused as to why you called me.”

“Like I said before, I trust you. And I was wondering if you could come with me to the clinic when I go? I have a few more days off and I am planning to postpone the tour for a bit longer. I could make an appointment in the next city on your tour. I just wanted you to be there for support.”

AJ looked down at the table and took in what Bianca was asking. He did understand that she was scared and needed a friend. Looking back up, he nodded slowly. “Okay, just let me know when and where.”

“Thank you, AJ,” she said, relief filling her voice as she got up to give him a hug.

AJ hugged her tighter when she started to cry again. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. You know I’m here for you.”


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Nick couldn’t believe what he was seeing—AJ and Bianca hugging…looking very friendly. He had only gone out to get a good cup of coffee. He wasn’t at all expecting to see his best friend and his girlfriend meeting behind his back. He could feel his face getting hot and he was quickly growing very angry.

Turning around, he pushed forcefully past a man who was coming in behind him. He mumbled an apology when the man yelled an obscenity at him. My girlfriend and my best friend… He suddenly felt like he had some packing to do. How could they? I thought she loved me….I thought they both did…

***THE NEXT DAY***

The guys were all doing their own things again today. Brian was going with Julie to her father’s funeral. He knew today would be the worst day she’d have and decided that he’d stay in Lexington an extra night. He’d fly into the next city of the tour.

Kevin decided to show Brianna and Kyra around Lexington. They had visited before, but he had never showed her his favorite places—this was the first chance he’d had to do that.

Howie, Ivy and AJ all agreed on shopping. “We all know AJ doesn’t need to buy anything else, but we’ll go anyway,” Ivy had said teasingly. They were going to invite Nick to go along, but he had put the ‘Do No Disturb’ on his door and he wasn’t answering the phone. They decided to write a note telling him to call if he suddenly felt like shopping and they slid it under his door.

Nick wouldn’t be changing his mind.


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Bianca doubled over as she had yet another pain in her side. They had gotten worse, but she only had them periodically. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her hand to the spot where the pain was and silently willed it to end. Finally, her side eased off and she let out the breath she had been holding. “Good gracious…I wish they would stop.”

Bianca was on her way to the MTV studios to do an interview on TRL. As soon as she left the café after talking to AJ she was on her way to New York. Her management decided it would be a good idea to do the interview since the tour was still postponed. She gripped her stomach again as another pain tore through her.

“You okay?” Madd Dog asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” she forced a smile. “I’m just not feeling well.” I just hope I can hide the pain while Carson is interviewing me.


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***THAT AFTERNOON***

Brian closed Julie’s bedroom door after checking on her. After the funeral, she decided to take a nap. She said she didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Brian understood, but he told her he would be checking up on her from time to time. Brian decided to try and call Nicole. Every time he had called before, she had not answered. Maybe this time will be different.

He got his cell phone and headed for the living room. Pressing the first number on his speed dial, he waited for Nicole to answer. After four rings, she finally picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey,” he said softly. As soon as he heard her voice he realized how much he missed her.

“Hey,” she sounded surprised to hear from him.

“I’ve tried calling a few times since I got to Kentucky, but you were never home,” he explained quietly.

“Yeah, I went to my sister’s for a couple of days. I felt like getting away.”

“Look, Nikki, I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine, Brian. I understand that you did what you felt you needed to do and I respect that,” she said.

“I’m so glad you understand, baby,” he sighed. “I hope that means you’re coming back on tour with me,” he said, his voice brightening. “I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, Bri, but I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to come back now. I decided to go back to work a few weeks early.”

“Oh, okay. Well, do you think you’ll come back at all?”

“I honestly don’t know yet,” Nicole said. They remained silent for a moment. “I have to go now.”

“Okay,” Brian said. He knew she’d be upset, but he didn’t know how bad things would be. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Before Brian could tell her he would call her later, Nicole had hung up. He was even more confused about their relationship, but he decided he’d call her again in a day or so.


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Nick entered his hotel suite and walked over to the window. Looking at the New York City skyline, he let out a tired sigh. He knew if he went home to Florida, that would be the first place the guys checked. He knew that New York would be the last place they would look, if they thought to check there at all.

Nick walked to the couch and say down. He stretched out and turned on the television. He knew he shouldn’t have left the way he did and he also knew that once everyone knew where he was, he was going to catch hell. I can hear Kevin now, he thought with a groan.

Flipping through the different channels, Nick stopped when he saw TRL was just coming on. He smirked to himself; he got a kick out of it.

“Hey guys, as you know, we have a pretty packed show today. There are a couple of debut videos on the countdown, we’ll be retiring Britney’s video and hmm…what else?” Carson Daly asked, causing the audience to go crazy. “Oh, yeah, Bianca Parker is here today.”

Nick’s full attention was now on the T.V. She’s in New York. He would faintly hear Carson introducing the number ten video. Looking at his watch, Nick got up and headed for the door. He had time to get to Times Square before Bianca left. She’ll have to talk to me.


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“She’s headlining her own tour and making it even bigger than expected…please welcome Bianca Parker,” Carson introduced her.

Bianca plastered on a million dollar smile despite her pain. She walked out and greeted everyone in her soft southern twang. “Hey,” she said and gave Carson a hug.

“So, you have your own tour, and for the record, you are single now, right?” Carson asked with a smile.

“Yeah,” she kept smiling, even though she felt like crying. She knew that question would come up; she just didn’t know it would be first. “I guess the rumors can rest now.”

“Guys, get in line," he said, getting close to the camera. Turning back to Bianca, he smiled. “On a serious note, how are you? I know everyone was worried after the new about your attack got out.”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling a little uncomfortable. “I’ve been doing pretty well and I have to say thanks to all my fans and everyone for their concern. Everybody has been really sweet.”

The interview lasted a few more minutes and they premiered Bianca’s new video. On her way out Bianca signed a few autographs and posed for some pictures. When she saw Madd Dog she smiled. “Let’s go.”

“Bianca!” she heard someone call out.

One more autograph, then I have to go. When she turned around, her heart leapt into her throat. What in the world is he doing here? “Nick?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

“Hey,” he said, stopping in front of her. He wanted to hate her for everything she had done; he should hate her, but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried. Slowly, he reached down and took her hands in his, trying not to notice how tense she became. “Can we talk?”

Bianca looked away and slipped her hands from his. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Until now, she had had control of her emotions and she was fine. Now, she didn’t know what to do. I’m supposed to stay strong. I can’t let him see me cry; he’ll know I’m weak, she thought to herself, biting her bottom lip. “I don’t think that’s a really good idea, Nick. I have to go, anyway.”

“Bullshit, Bianca. You know you can’t avoid me forever….haven’t I proven that?” his eyes were burning into hers. He refused to back down without getting an explanation. “You know that I deserve to know why you walked out because as far as I can tell, you had no reason. That is, unless you left me to be with someone else,” he said, remembering the image of her with AJ.

“Nick, don’t do this. Not here, please,” she begged.

“Why not? I can’t get you to talk to me otherwise,” he spat, bitterly. “Although, you have no problem talking to everyone else.”

“What are you talking about, Nick?” she asked, confused.

“Don’t pull that ‘I don’t know’ crap with me, Bean. You don’t have to keep it a secret anymore….I was probably the only sap that couldn’t see it…”

“Couldn’t see what?” she cried, growing frustrated. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know, you were right…this was a bad idea. Forget it, Bean,” Nick said, raking his hands through his already disheveled hair. “Sorry I bothered you…”

“Nick, I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bianca placed her hand on his arm and moved closer. She was utterly confused. Before either of them knew what was happening, Nick had shoved her away. The force of the push was strong enough to send Bianca to the floor.

“Oh my God, Bean…” he stopped when Madd Dog grabbed him and pushed him away.

“You need to get out of here right now,” his voice boomed in Nick’s ears.

Bianca remained seated, with her hands covering her face. What just happened? She couldn’t believe he just did that. Nick’s apologies sounded very distant as Madd Dog forced him to leave the room. She sat there, still shocked; the pains suddenly growing worse. After the pain subsided, she let Madd Dog help her up.

“Are you okay?” he asked as she clung to his arm.

Bianca’s only answer was, “Get me back to the hotel please.” As soon as they were in the limo, she fell apart. The only thought that kept crossing her mind was the fact that Nick had shoved her…hard. He did something he swore he’d NEVER do and Bianca’s heart broke even more. She had a phone call to make when she got back to the hotel.

“That’s her,” the man pointed and motioned in the direction he was staring. “I’m gonna to be speaking with her in person soon.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” the younger man asked. “I mean, look at the security; it’s always like that…”

“Should I be bothered by that?”

“No-no sir.”

“I can find a way past them…don’t worry about that. She and I have a lot of catching up to do.”


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The thunder cracked loudly and was immediately followed by a bright streak of lightening that lit up the entire sky and even the dark room. Bianca jumped when the thunder boomed again suddenly, causing the room to shake.

“You okay?” Holly asked, helping her to a chair.

“Yeah,” she sighed.

Holly had been in New York for a few weeks and as soon as Bianca got back to the hotel after her interview, she had called Holly. Now, they were coming from the emergency room. Bianca’s cramps worsened and she began bleeding excessively; she knew what was happening, but she had to be sure.

“Can I get you anything, Bean?” Holly asked. She was worried about Bianca. She hadn’t even known about her being pregnant and now…

“I’m fine, thanks. Just having you here is a lot of help, Hol. I just want to rest a little. After being poked and prodded…I just need to relax a little. If that’s even possible.”

“Okay,” Holly nodded. “How ‘bout I make something to eat? You go take a bath and I’ll make dinner. Then we can girl talk. We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Sure,” Bianca said, forcing a smile.

Bianca got her pajamas and her cell phone and headed for the bathroom. While she ran her bath water, she dialed a number that had become very familiar to her.

“Hello?” AJ’s voice was comforting.

“AJ…”

“Hey Bean…how are you doing?” he asked quickly.

“Well, I jut got back from the emergency room,” she answered, shedding her clothing and climbing into the large tub of warm, sudsy water.

“Why? Are you okay? What happened?”

“Looks like I won’t need to make a trip out to see you.” Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and tried to think of how to tell him. Her voice sounded weak as she continued. “I had a miscarriage.”

“Oh, Bean, I’m sorry.”

“For what? I was gonna kill it anyway, right?” she sobbed, bitterly.

“No, Bean, don’t say that. You were scared. That’s understandable.”

Bianca remained silent as hot tears flowed down her cheeks. When she finally found the words to say, she told him everything that had been racing through her mind. “I just can’t help but think that I’m a terrible person for even considering an abortion. Why should I kill an innocent child that deserves to live just like you and me? Before AJ had a chance to respond, Bianca continued. “I had made up my mind to keep the baby…I guess this is my punishment for even allowing the idea cross my mind. Even if it was an accident…I guess that’s the right word…that was my baby. God, could you imagine having a little life to love and take care of?”

AJ listened as Bianca spilled her whole heart and soul out to him. She told him about everything, including her encounter with Nick. Hours later, Bianca was still sitting in the tub, but the water was now cold and the bubbles had long disappeared. “Thank you, Aje.”

“Baby, you have nothing to thank me for. I’m glad you felt like you could open up to me. I’m happy you trust me enough to share all of this with me. And you know you can call me any time you need to.”

“Okay, I might call a lot then,” she said, smiling slightly. “Bye AJ.”

Bianca climbed out of the chilly water and slipped on her pajamas. When she went to the living room, she found Holly asleep on the couch. A plate of cold, stale looking food sat on the table in front of the couch. She didn’t bother waking Holly up, she just got a blanket and draped it over her.

Before Bianca fell asleep, she said an extra prayer. “God, please forgive me for what I was gonna do to my baby. Help me to be strong…I’m not sure I can be, but I’m gonna try.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****TWO DAYS LATER****

“It looks like the Backstreet Boys are gonna be back on schedule tonight. They apparently had to postpone their tour for a couple of day due to illness. They said that Nick is feeling much better though,” Suchin Pak told the audience the latest news on TRL.

“You know, it’s kinda funny…”

“What’s that, Carson?”

“Bianca Parker’s tour is postponed and then, suddenly, so is the BSB tour…you thin there’s a little make up, hanky panky goin’ on?” Carson asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Nick turned the television off, ignoring the protests of the guys.

“We were watching that,” Howie said before Ivy nudged him in the ribs.

“So, Nicky…” AJ began, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the group. “How was New York?”

Nick looked up suddenly. Everyone was staring at him expectantly, like they thought he was gonna do something spectacular. Keep staring, I might do a trick, he thought about saying. “How did you know I was in New York?”

“I heard something about a Nick Carter sighting,” the lie came out as smooth as silk. “How was the vacation? Did you have to do much pushing and shoving?” he held eye contact, giving Nick a hateful glare. “It’s not usually too bad, but I figure you with no security—yeah, lots of pushing, shoving, and fighting…just to get where ya want to be.”

Bianca told him. “It wasn’t bad at all,” Nick said, getting up.

“Where ya going Nicky?” AJ asked in a mocking tone. “We’re all eager to hear about your trip to the big city…who you saw, maybe had a run-in with…I’m dying to know.”

The room was completely quiet as Nick, eyes brimming, made his way to the door. As if he didn’t feel bad enough already, AJ had to rub salt in his wound. He should have known AJ would be the first to know about what happened. “Brian, man, come wake me up before you head to the arena for sound check. I’m not feeling that great,” he said, ignoring everyone else’s curious stares.

“What was that about?” Kevin asked, giving AJ a confused look.

“Just wanted to know how Nick’s vacation went…that’s all,” he replied nonchalantly before leaving the room as well.

“How come I feel like there’s a story being what just happened?” Brian said, shifting his gaze back and forth between Kevin and Howie.

“Because there is,” Kevin stated matter-of-factly. “And I am going to find out what it is if I have to beat it out of both of them. I’m tired of their stupid little games. We can’t keep working around the fact that the tension in the group is so thick, a five year old would notice.”

“And probably try to cut through it with their spork,” Brian added with a doofy looking grin.

“Oh, thank God I’m not the only one that noticed it,” Howie said suddenly. When he saw everyone was staring at him like he was an idiot, he began to blush. “What?”

“We knew you were slow, D, but damn,” Brian said jokingly. “Guess that’s why you’re the sweet one….takes to long to understand stuff for you to be mean.”

“Shut up,” he pouted, causing them to laugh. They laughed even harder when he childishly added, “It’s not funny.”

****THREE MONTHS LATER****

Ivy sat on the couch watching television. Howie had decided that he was going Christmas shopping and she had to stay home. Ivy didn’t argue with him at all. As much as she loved to shop, she was all shopped out. She has gone the day before yesterday and she still had not fully recovered. She chuckled to herself, I don’t think I’ve ever shopped like that before. Looking at her watch, she sighed. I hope Howie gets home soon.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin watched as his daughter crawled around on the floor in front of him. She has gotten big in the last few months and Kevin knew it wouldn’t be long before she was walking and talking and getting into everything. All the fun stuff, he felt himself smile.

“Baby, what do you think about these invitations?” Brianna asked, handing him the book full of wedding invitations.

They had both wanted a winter wedding around Christmas, but with the tour and everything that had happened, they didn’t have the chance to start planning before now. They both agreed that since they couldn’t have the Christmas wedding, a Valentine’s wedding was the next best thing.

Brianna sat down on the floor next to Kyra while Kevin looked through all the different invitations. “I like these,” he pointed to an elaborate invitation.

“Those are pretty,” Brianna replied with a smile. “We have so much to do before February.”

“But we’ll get it done darlin’, don’t worry,” Kevin smiled and leaned down to give her a kiss. “As long as we get married it doesn’t matter. It will be perfect no matter what.”

Brianna’s face broke into a big grin. “I love you.” Jokingly she added, “But you know it does matter!”


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Brian and Nick sat watching a basketball game on television. For some reason, Nick couldn’t get into the game, but since it was Duke vs. Kentucky, Brian was glued to the screen.

“You’re not interested in the game?” Brian asked when a commercial came on.

“Not really. I don’t know why…it’s just kinda boring.”

“I know what it is…” Brian said with a knowing grin. “That cute redhead you met a couple weeks ago.”

Nick smiled but shook his head. “Sorry to disappoint you; the game is just boring to me.”

“Yeah, okay, well, if that’s it you won’t mind me takin’ a look at this,” Brian replied and quickly snatched Nick’s cell phone off the coffee table in front of them.

“Hey!” Nick protested, going after Brian. He stopped when Brian walked over to the aquarium. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t mess with me and the phone is safe,” Brian told him as he began to scroll through all of the calls Nick had made and received. “Well, well, well…who is Hayley Aldworth? Hmmm…if I remember correctly, that cute redhead’s name was Hayley…and you have called her or she has called you quite a few times…” Brian teased. When Nick sat back down and angrily crossed his arms over his chest, Brian walked back to the sofa and sat down. “Man, I’m sorry. I was only joking. What is it?”

“Hayley is just a friend—“

“So? So what if she were more than a friend? What’s the matter with that?” Brian asked. When Nick just looked at him, he sighed. “Look, Nick, I know Bianca is still in your heart and you still love her, but she left. And you shouldn’t NOT have fun. I think it’s great that you met someone and even if you two are just friends, you may evolve into more than that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and just so you know, ‘m glad you met that feisty lil redhead,” she said making a growling noise.

Nick laughed. “Her name is Hayley, remember?”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun calling her a redhead…okay, quiet, the game is on.”


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Bianca pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes tightly. Expelling a long, tired sigh, she got out of her car and headed for the large building. She shuddered at the thought of having to live in confinement every single day.

“Can I help you?” a large, uniformed woman asked from behind a desk.

“Umm, I’m here to see Eric Donnelly.”

“Name,” the woman said coldly.

“Bianca Parker.”

A few minutes later, Bianca was seated in the large cafeteria. The tables were bare and the room looked very cold and unwelcoming. Looking around, she saw many women with smaller children. She suddenly felt very unhappy. I couldn’t imagine having to raise my children by myself and only seeing my husband on the weekend. She was pulled from her thoughts when Eric came and sat down across from her. She immediately straightened up and placed her hands in her lap, trying to avoid eye contact.

“So, what are you doing here? I know it’s not because you miss me,” Eric said hatefully.

“My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to visit you…to confront what happened and get everything behind me.”

“You have a therapist? You’re that fucked up?” he laughed.

Bianca looked up, her eyes flashing angrily. “And who do you think fucked me up? Huh?”

“Well, then, I guess I deserve a pat on the back,” he smirked. “Why are you here?”

“I just thought you might like to know that you would’ve been a father, but I lost the baby a few months ago,” she said, her eyes filling with pain.

“How nice…too bad I’m not the father.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I stutter? You heard me,” he said forcefully.

“Yeah, I heard you, but how do you figure that?”

“Maybe because I can’t have kids.”

As soon as the words left Eric’s mouth, Bianca’s head began to spin. The baby was Nick’s…it wasn’t Eric’s….Nick’s baby. She abruptly shoved herself away from the table, sending her chair to the floor with a loud bang. She suddenly felt very sick. What have I done? she thought and ran hurriedly out of the room.

Somewhere in the background she could hear Eric’s taunting. “Aww…leaving already? But you just got here.”

The only thing running through Bianca’s mind was Nick.


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“Hey baby,” Howie called as he came into the house. “Ivy?”

“Yeah?” she came around the corner, smiling. “What did ya get me?”

“Oh, right, like I would tell you,” he rolled his eyes. “You’ll find out soon enough. What did you do while I was gone?”

“I just watched a little TV. There was nothing on though.”

“I’m gonna go put these down, baby.”

As Ivy started back into the living room, the doorbell rang. I didn’t know we were expecting company. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find a police officer on the other side. “Hi. Can I help you?”

“Maria DeMora?”

“Yes…”

“Baby, who’s at the door?” Howie asked, coming to see. He stopped when he saw the officer.

The man pulled out a paper and nodded to Ivy saying something neither of them ever expected. “Mrs. DeMora, you’re under arrest,” he said, pulling his handcuffs from his belt.

“Under arrest?” she cried in a shrill voice as her eyes filled with tears.

“Why?” Howie yelled.

“For the murder of your husband,” he stated before reading Ivy her rights.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Ivy was in the police car and Howie, dumbfounded, was still standing in the doorway unable to move. The murder of her husband? This had to be a mistake.

Ivy watched the police officer as he drove; he looked very familiar to her for some reason. Where the hell is he taking me? she thought to herself, watching where they were going. “Excuse me, officer,” she spoke quietly. “Where are you going? This isn’t the way to the police station.”

“I think you need to shut up and let me drive, Ivy,” he told her in a gruff voice. “You just sit back and mind your own business while I get us where we’re going.”

Ivy sucked in a breath as realization set in. She wanted to scream, but she knew that even if she did, no one would hear her and it would make this man very angry. What am I gonna do? She watched the scenery and realized they were driving away from town. She didn’t know this part of Florida very well and she was scared…to say the least. What’s gonna happen to me?


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“AJ, this is a great house,” his date said with a giggle. Getting closer to him, the young blonde smiled and lowered her voice to a sexy whisper. “I bet the bedroom is really nice.”

AJ rolled his eyes and was glad to hear the doorbell ring. Too bad you’ll never see it, huh? He tried to pry himself from this girl, Amy or Anna…whatever she said her name was.

“You don’t have to answer that, do you?” she asked trying to remove his shirt.

“Yes, actually, I do. It might be important,” he told her as he made his way to the door. He was surprised to see Bianca when he opened the door. “Hey,” he said, the shock registering on his face. “What are you doing here?” Remembering his annoying date he added, “Never mind…come on in.”

She smiled and shrugged, opting to answer his initial question. “I just felt like coming for a visit before I head back home to Mama’s for Christmas.” When she saw the pretty blonde standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face, Bianca looked at AJ. “Sorry,” she blushed. “I’ll go. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“No!” AJ said a little too eagerly. “I haven’t seen you in a while…there’s a lot we have to catch up on. Besides…” he paused, trying to remember the girl’s name. When it failed to come to him he settled for the safe way out. “She was just leaving.”

Bianca chuckled to herself as AJ showed what’s-her-name to the door. “So, I take it you didn’t enjoy your date?” she asked when he came back.

Giving Bianca a warm, friendly hug, he laughed aloud. “I won’t bore you to death with those details. How are you?”

They both took a seat on the couch and Bianca sighed. “No better. The past three months have been hell and I can’t even begin to tell you about the last few days.”

“That bad?”

“Bad isn’t even the word to describe it.”

“Well, what’s wrong?” AJ asked, sensing something had happened.

As soon as he asked, Bianca began to cry. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. “I went to see Eric-”

“What? Did he do something?:

Bianca couldn’t help but smile as AJ’s reaction. “No, he didn’t do anything…he couldn’t have if he’d wanted to,” she said, still smiling. “I told him about the baby.”

“What did he say?” AJ asked, taking her hand in his.

“Well, I found out the baby was Nick’s,” she said, flatly.

“Aww, Bean, I’m really sorry. I know that had to be really hard to hear.”

“Yeah. I never expected him to tell me he couldn’t have children. I knew he’d be insensitive about it, but that possibility never even entered my mind. It was such a shock. I still can’t believe it.”

“Have you talked to Nick?” AJ asked.

“No, I want to, but I’m scared to try.”

“What makes you think he’s not just as scared and upset as you?” AJ asked, raising his eyebrows.

Bianca just shrugged. “I just keep wondering if it’s too late.”


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Brian sighed. He was bored…and lonely. Nicole told him that if he expected her to come back, she would still need time because she was still hurt and upset. Nick had a date with Hayley. He could call it whatever he wanted; Brian called it a date. The rest of the guys were busy with other things as well.

“And there is nothing on TV,” he said aloud. Looking around for Tyke, he rolled his eyes when he found the dog asleep. “Great, even my dog is busy.” Suddenly, he had an idea. Grabbing his keys, he called to Tyke, “See ya later bud.” Brian laughed when Tyke didn’t make a move to get up; he only wagged his tail.

****A FEW MINUTES LATER****

Brian walked through the sliding doors and looked around. He smiled and made his way over to the nurses station, making sure to keep his hands behind his back.

“Can I help you sir?” a dark haired nurse asked with a polite smile.

“Uh, well, I need to see Julie,” he motioned to her.

Julie was huddled over a file, filling out a paper on a patient and she was completely unaware of Brian. When the nurse went over to Julie, Brian could see the annoyance written all over her face. The nurse came back with an apologetic expression on her face.

“I’m sorry sir; she said to tell anyone that asked for her that she’s very busy and can’t be bothered.”

“Well, is her shift almost over?”

“Yes, she gets off in about ten minutes or so,” she said.

“Thanks,” Brian smiled and left the emergency room. A few minutes later he was waiting near Julie’s car. When he finally saw her coming out of the hospital, he could read the surprise on her face. “You know, you’re a hard person to get a hold of at work. I’m not sure if I should be offended because you refused to see me or impressed that you’re so into your work.”

Julie smiled. “Well, I didn’t know it was you. I figured it was someone that just wanted to give me more work.”

Brian pulled his hand from behind his back and handed her a pink rose. “I thought you’d like it.”

“Awww…Duckie, that’s so sweet,” she said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I thought since nothing was going on and you’re getting off work, maybe you wanted to go get dinner.”

“Sure, I just need to go home and change. If you want, you can follow me there and we can take one car.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “That’s a good idea. See you at your place.”


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Bianca jumped slightly when her cell phone began to ring. She glared at AJ when he started laughing at her. “Hello?”

“Hey!” Holly greeted happily. “What are you doing?”

“Hey Hol! I’m here talking to AJ.”

“Well, get you asses off the couch and come clubbing with me,” Holly said.

“I dunno, Holly-”

“Nope, you’re not getting’ out of this one,” Holly said firmly. “Get up and bring AJ with you. We’re gonna party tonight.”

Before Bianca could protest further, Holly had ended the call. “C’mon AJ.”

“Huh?” he asked, confused.

“We’re going clubbing with Holly.”

“Holly?”

“Yep. The one and only. She’s in town visiting. She’s gonna ride back to North Carolina with me for Christmas. Now let’s go before she calls back.”

****TWENTY MINUTES LATER****

Bianca, Holly, and AJ all made their way into the crowded club. The music was louder than Bianca liked, but that was where Holly wanted to go, so she didn’t argue. Finding a vacant table, Bianca sat down and tried to force away memories from her last club experience.

“I’m gonna go get a Coke, would you ladies care for anything?” AJ yelled above the music. Holly nodded and told him what she wanted and Bianca shook her head ‘no’.

“Bean,” Holly called. “Let’s dance.”

“No-” Bianca began to decline, but Holly grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the dance floor. “You’re very bossy, you know that?”

“Well, personally, I think that’s my best quality,” she said loudly.

“Yeah, okay,” Bianca smiled and rolled her eyes. Maybe this night won’t be so bad, she thought and laughed at Holly shaking her hips.

All of a sudden, Bianca stopped dancing. “I spoke too soon,” she mumbled aloud.

“What’s wrong?” Holly asked but stopped when she saw who Bianca was staring at.

“Hey, Bean. How have you been?” Nick greeted quietly, a tall redhead holding his hand. As if it wasn’t bad enough, the girl was gorgeous.

“Fine,” she gave a tight smile and avoided his stare.

“Um, this is my date, Hayley. Hayley, this is Bianca and Holly.”

“Hi,” Hayley said with a smile.

“Hey,” Holly said.

Bianca remained silent. She was relieved when AJ walked up. “Okay, here’s your drink, Hol-” he said before Bianca grabbed it and downed it in one gulp. “You know, I do want a drink,” she said. Under her breath, she added, “I need a keg.”

“Uh, okay…” AJ said, confused. Then he finally saw Nick.

“Aje, can you go get me a drink please? It was nice meeting you, Hayley. Good seeing you Nick,” Bianca forced another fake smile and turned away before either of them could see her tears. Looking at AJ she sighed, “I knew it was too late.”

Julie laughed as Brian told yet another silly joke. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him in her life until recently. It had been very hard for her when they lost contact with each other but she was happy that he was living his dream.

So,” he began taking a sip of his tea. “Tell me about your Almost Prince Charming.”

Julie had to laugh again. As corny as Brian was, he was so funny. He definitely had the best sense of humor of anyone she knew. “There’s not much to tell.”

“What happened? Did his white horse have saddle sores?” he asked with a serious expression. When Julie threw a piece of a dinner roll at him, he grinned. “Seriously though…why aren’t y’all married and living in the suburbs in a cute little house surrounded by a white picket fence and raising 2.5 kids?”

Julie snorted. “Right.”

“Hey,” Brian protested. “That’s achievable. What happened?”

“I dunno,” she said with a shrug. “I guess I just wasn’t ready for that. Or maybe I just went into the relationship for the wrong reasons. I wanted to have this happy marriage and the perfect little family. The only problem was I didn’t want it with him.”

“Wow,” Brian sighed. “That’s deep.”

“Shut up, Duckie,” she poked her tongue out at him. “Well, what’s the status with you and Nicole?”

“I’d love to know that myself,” he said seriously.

“Ouch. That bad, huh?”

“Pretty much. She calls sometimes, but she is never home when I call and I always get her voicemail when I call her cell phone. Anytime I try and talk about us, she changes the subject. It’s really starting to get to me.”

“I’m sorry, Duckie. I feel like all of this is my fault.”

“No, it’s not. Don’t think that,” he said reassuringly. “None of this is your fault.”

After a short pause in conversation, Julie looked at her watch. “I guess I should be getting home. My shift starts at 7 am and it’s already 9:30.”

“Yeah, you need to get some rest,” Brian replied sternly before offering a broad grin. “I’m glad you came to dinner. We’re gonna have to do this more often. I’ve missed it.”

“Me, too,” she smiled.


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Bianca was lying on the couch trying hard not to cry again. The radio was blaring country music. This was her routine when she was in a terrible mood. She would always listen to country music and depress herself even more before she started feeling better. This time she added alcohol to the routine and as her mother would say, she was “as drunk as a skunk.”

The soft melody of a slow song began to drift through the room. She immediately recognized the song and couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I’ll be,” she slurred to herself, her southern drawl very thick. “That damn song sounds just like what happened tonight.”


It took me by surprise
When I saw you standin' there
Close enough to touch
Breathin' the same air
You asked me how I'd been
I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine
Oh, but baby I was lyin'

What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby, here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
That's what I really meant to say

And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt
I held back the tears
Held on to my pride and watched you go
I wonder if you'll ever know

What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby, here's the truth
I'm still in love with you

What I really meant to say
Is I'm really not that strong
No matter how I try
I'm still holdin' on
And here's the honest truth
I'm still in love with you
And, that's what I really meant to say**

Before Bianca knew what she had done; she picked up her glass and hurled it across the room. As it smashed into hundreds of tiny pieces, she collapsed back onto the couch. She started sobbing uncontrollably and thought she would never stop. How did my life go so wrong? she thought over and over before she finally fell into a restless sleep.


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Brianna sat at the kitchen table trying to get herself organized. She had two lists she was working on; her Christmas shopping list and her wedding to-do list. At the moment, she was adding the rest of the people she planned to invite to the guest list. With a short sigh, she put down her ink pen and picked up the telephone, dialing the number to her parents’ home in North Carolina. Before it started to ring, she cut the phone off and placed it back on the table.

Brianna sighed sadly and put her head in her hands. She didn’t know why she couldn’t call. She had already mailed the invitation to her parents; it was the first and only one she had sent so far. She thought she would at least hear something from them. “They really don’t understand.”

Picking up her pen, she continued writing. She smiled when she heard Kyra sigh in her sleep on the other end of the baby monitor. As sad as she was sometimes, whenever Brianna saw or heard her daughter, nothing seemed bad to her at all. Nothing else really mattered anyway.


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Ivy was jerked away as the car came to a sudden stop. Looking around, she saw that it was completely dark and she could barely make out a small cabin-like house surrounded by trees. Before she knew what was happening, the man that had “arrested” her was jerking her out of the car. He didn’t care that he was hurting her and he only got angrier when she tripped and fell.

When he got her inside the house, he threw her down onto a chair and turned the lights on. “You don’t move, understand?”

Ivy gave a frightened nod and listened as he moved from room to room. She didn’t know who this man was, but she was smart enough to know that he was no cop. She strained to hear anything she could, but there was nothing but silence. Suddenly, she heard two sets of footsteps heading toward the room she was in. For a split second Ivy thought about running, but she knew that would probably only get her killed. Besides, where would she go? How far could she possibly get? Not very far.

She closed her eyes and fought to keep herself from crying. She opened her eyes when she felt someone tilt her chin upward.

“Ivy, how nice to see you,” an older man greeted in a deep voice. The same voice she had heard during many phone calls. He smiled and wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

“Andrew?” she choked out. “What-why are you doing this to me?”

His smile slowly faded and he gave her a look of disgust mixed with pure hatred. Then, without any warning at all, he slapped Ivy with so much force, she fell off of her chair and onto the dirty, floor. “You mean to tell me, you don’t know why?” When Ivy didn’t respond, he grabbed her jaw between his thumb and index finger and forced her to look at him. “I let you in my family and you betray me. You have anything and everything you could ever ask for and look at what you do in return.”

“What about freedom, Andrew? Material objects don’t mean anything. How do you think it feels to have to report to someone where you’ve been and what you’ve done. I was a prisoner in my own home.”

“No, you’re going to find out what it’s like to be a prisoner. Then you can tell me how it feels,” he said before turning to leave.

“Andrew,” Ivy called. “Why don’t you go ahead and kill me?”

“Because that would be too easy. But don’t worry, you might just get what you want.” Turning to the man standing in the doorway, he pointed a finger toward Ivy. “Take the handcuffs off of her, but do not let her out of this room for anything. If she needs to use the bathroom, there’s one right through that door. There’s no way out of it. If she needs food, you lock the door and get it for her. Understood? I’ll be back later. Oh, and Ivy….Merry Christmas sweetheart.”

After the man had taken the cuffs off, Ivy sat on the couch across the room and stuck her hands in her pockets. Her eyes grew wide when she realized she had Howie’s cell phone. She remembered that she had it before she answered the door and just dropped it in her pocket without thinking about it. She tried to act as normal as possible, but she knew the battery wouldn’t last forever. She had to think of something to get herself out of there.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Howie rushed into the police station and headed straight to an occupied desk.

“May I help you, sir?” A female officer asked.

“Yes!” Howie replied, out of breath. “I’m looking for my girlfriend Ivy DeMora. An officer just came and arrested her.”

The woman began to type something into her computer. Howie guessed it was Ivy’s name. After a minute she shook her head. “I’m sorry, no one by that name has been brought in.”

“Well, she was handcuffed, put into a police car and taken away. That’s usually what happens when a cop arrests someone,” Howie cried in a shrill voice.

“Well, do you remember the officer’s name?” she asked, trying to offer some help.

Howie tried to think. He did see the nametag, now if he could only remember what it said. Finally he remembered and blurted out the last name. “Travers.”

The officer began to type in some more information before a concerned expression crossed her face. “Are you sure that was his name?”

“Yes, 100%, why?” he asked frantically.

“Because, sir, we don’t have an officer by that name.”

“What?” her news hit Howie like a punch in his stomach.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“Well, then, I’d like to report a kidnapping.”


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**"What I really Meant To Say"--Cyndi Thompson

****THE NEXT DAY****

“Okay, so can you please tell me what happened at that club last night?” Hayley asked Nick while she played a video game. “You just kinda shocked me, ya know?”

“Sorry,” he sounded distracted, “I didn’t mean to get you into this mess, but I really didn’t know what else to do.”

Trying her best to keep the telephone balanced on her shoulder, she continued to play the game. It was getting harder to play in that position though. “Well, what sent you into such a panic?”

“Bianca is my ex-girlfriend.”

Pausing the game, Hayley gave her full attention to Nick. “That’s why you did that! You want her to see that you’ve moved on with your life and you’re happy, when neither of those is true.”

“But that’s the thing. I have moved on and I am happy,” Nick protested.

“Then why did you feel the need to make such a big deal about the situation?” she asked. When Nick didn’t answer, Hayley sighed apologetically. “You know, Bianca didn’t look very happy. You think maybe she misses you as much as you miss her?”

“Trust me, she’s fine. She’s got AJ. Besides, she left me…why would she do that if she didn’t really want to?”

“Maybe something is or was wrong and she felt like she had to leave?” Hayley suggested.

“Like what?” Nick questioned skeptically.

“I dunno. It was just a thought,” she replied, continuing her game.


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Bianca woke up, her head pounding. “Oh, man, what did I do last night?” she asked aloud, not expecting anyone to answer.

“You, darlin’, had a pity party and got loaded,” AJ replied, causing Bianca to jump. Handing her two aspirin and a glass of water, he smiled. “Take these.”

Bianca did as she was told ad started to get out of bed before she realized she was completely naked. Oh, no. “Uh, AJ…what happened?” she asked hesitantly.

“Well, first you cried, then you turned the radio to country and proceeded to get drunk while you sang very loudly. I think you woke up everyone n the neighborhood.”

He paused to think. “Ah, yes, you smashed a glass against the wall, fell asleep, woke up and drank some more. Then you attempted to seduce me.”

Bianca buried her face in her hands as blurry bits and pieces of the night before crept back into her mind. “Oh, God, AJ, we didn’t…did we?”

“No.”

“Thank God.”

“But I don’t think you should get drunk at a club or bar. Really, nowhere in public.”

“Why?” she asked, trying to remember all the details of the foggy night.

“Well,” AJ began, clearing his throat. “I found out that you are an exhibitionist when you drink…very willing to undress. And…uh…well…”

“What?” Bianca asked her face scarlet with embarrassment.

“You like to dance…a lot. And you’re very persuasive….hard to say ‘no’ to. I’ll leave it at that,” he said, his face turning as red as hers. “I almost didn’t stop you, but I could never let you do something like that. Luckily, you passed out and I put you in the bed.”

“I’m so sorry, AJ. Oh, gosh, I’m so embarrassed.”

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, AJ wrapped his arms around Bianca. “Don’t worry about it. No one has to know you secretly have the hots for me,” he said causing her to laugh. “It’s not a big deal anyway. You were drunk.”

“Okay,” she said with a nod.

“I’ll let you get dressed.”


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Ivy closely watched the man that brought her here. He was sitting in a chair, nodding off. She took a deep breath and decided this was an opportunity she had to take. “Uh, excuse me?”

“What?” he asked, without opening his eyes.

“Um, I have to go to the bathroom,” she said meekly.

“Then get up and go,” he said hatefully before covering his face with his arm.

“I’m handcuffed to this table, remember? You had to leave the room earlier to get food.”

With an irritated grunt, he got up and unlocked the cuff. “Hurry up.”

As soon as Ivy was in the bathroom, she locked the door and pulled out the cell phone. The battery was charged, but she knew she only had a few chances to try and call someone for help. She dialed her home number first. No answer. Deciding to take a risk, she dialed the number to her cell phone. She never used it so she knew that it was very unlikely that anyone would answer. She was shocked when she heard Howie’s voice on the other end.

“Hello?” he greeted sadly.

“Howie!” Ivy whispered frantically. “Oh my gosh, Howie!”

“Ivy! Where are you? I’ve been so worried. Are you okay? You aren’t hurt are you?” He asked, not even taking a breath.

“No, I’m alright; just scared. I don’t know where I am though…somewhere outside Orlando.” Just then she heard her captor beating on the door and yelling. “I’ll be out in a minute. I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh, God. Ivy…I wish I could come get you right now.”

“Howie…give the police the name Andrew Davidson…he’s responsible. I’ve gotta go. I love you, baby,” she whispered, tears stinging her dark eyes. She slipped the phone back into her pocket and flushed the toilet. She splashed some water on her face so the man would think she had really been sick. Walking back over to the couch, she waited for the man to handcuff her back to the table.

“Didn’t sound like you were sick to me,” he said in his gruff voice. “Sounded more like you were talking to someone.”

“I was,” she replied bluntly. “You ever heard of praying? That’s what I was doing.” God, please let Howie find me.


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“So, Julie…how was your date last night?” she was greeted by her coworker with a smile and a cup of coffee.

“It wasn’t a date, Melanie. I’ve known him since I was a little girl and he’s just a friend. We only went to dinner,” Julie said before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Well, it looked like a date to me,” Melanie smiled. “He’s cute and I noticed he was carrying a rose. How sweet is that?”

“Yes, I agree, it’s very sweet, but we are not dating. Don’t we have some work to do?” Julie asked, trying to change the subject.

Melanie smiled again and replied, “Yes, but I would much rather talk about your date. He looks like a real sweet guy; he definitely has manners. You deserve someone like that.”

“Brian is very sweet and he is a true-blue southern gentleman; born and raised in Kentucky. However, it was not a date.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Melanie shrugged. “We can talk about it later.”

Julie just groaned and prepared herself for a very long day. She knew that before her shift was over, every nurse in the emergency room would know about her ‘date’ with Brian. And they would no doubt be asking her about it. “Why do they think anytime a guy so much as smiles at me, it’s chemistry and I’m gonna marry him?” she mumbled before greeting a little boy with a broken arm It’s gonna be a looooong day.


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Kevin looked around the department store for a Christmas present for Brianna. He knew what he wanted to give her, but it just wasn’t possible. He wished they could have their wedding now and that her parents could be there. There’s just no way. For one; they couldn’t have the wedding they wanted if they rushed to have it now. And Kevin knew he couldn’t just call George and Irene out f the blue; they were still very angry with both Kevin and Brianna anyway.

Kevin sighed to himself and made his way to the jewelry counter. Growing frustrated, he headed toward the exit. Everything he saw seemed to shallow and unimportant; nothing was good enough for Brianna. This was their first Christmas together as a family and he wanted everything to be completely perfect. He just didn’t know how to make it perfect. That was his only problem. Suddenly, Kevin had an idea. I know exactly what I can do, he thought, leaving the crowded department store. This is gonna be great.


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Bianca sighed to herself and ran some bathwater. She still had to finish packing before she and Holly left for North Carolina. Settling back into the warm water, she closed her eyes and let her entire body relax. She could still feel the effects from the night before. She had just started to doze off when she heard someone knock on her door. “Why? Why now?” she whined and slipped on her bathrobe.

Bianca let out an exasperated groan when she saw Holly’s keys on the table by the door. “If you’d learn to take your keys with you, this wouldn’t happen,” she called out before opening the door. “Would it?”

Looking up, AJ smiled. “Well, if I had a set of keys, I would have let myself in.”

“AJ…what are you doing here?” she asked, pulling her bathrobe tighter around her body.

Before she could say anything else, AJ cupped her face in his hands and captured her lips with his. Breaking away to take a breath, he smiled and let her pull him inside.

Bianca tried to stifle a yawn as Holly drove down the interstate. As tired as she was, Bianca was too scared to go to sleep. Holly had never been the best driver.

“So,” Holly broke the silence. Glancing away from the road to look at Bianca, she grinned. “What did you do last night?”

“Do you mind watching where you’re going?” Bianca motioned to the open stretch of highway. She tried to keep herself from blushing, but it was pointless. “I took a bath and went to bed.”

“Oh…alone?”

“Holly!” Bianca screeched when her car swerved onto the shoulder before finding its way back onto the road. “Can we please talk later? You obviously cannot talk and drive at the same time. You can barely drive as it is. And I’m sure everyone back home wants to see us alive. I honestly don’t think that identifying our bodies at the morgue is at the top of their list of holiday festivities.”

“I resent that,” Holly’s voice was flat. “But anyway, you didn’t answer my question.”

“And what question did you ask? I’m sorry, I’m a little too scared to remember.”

“Were you alone last night?” Holly asked, smiling. “The only reason I’m asking is because there was an extra car in the driveway and I didn’t have a guest with me. So, if you were alone, someone decided to use the vacant spot. Although,” she paused, as if she was thinking, “it did look an awful lot like AJ’s car.”

Bianca kept her face toward the window so Holly wouldn’t see how badly she was blushing. “That’s weird.”

Holly sighed to herself. She’s gonna be a hard one to crack. “Yeah.”


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“Julie, you have a phone call,” one of the other nurses called. “Line 3.”

“Thanks. This is Julie, how may I help you?” she greeted politely.

“You sound so professional. Aww! Little Julie is growing up,” Brian teased.

“Aww! Little Brian never will,” she retorted.

“Well, then. Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to grab some lunch.”

“Did you realize it’s only 9:15?” Julie laughed when she checked her watch.

“Yes, I realize what time it is. I decided to call early so I wouldn’t miss you at lunchtime. See, I’m learning how to manage my time a little better. And I wanted to make sure no one else beat me to it. So, did you want lunch today?”

“Of course,” she smiled to herself. “Is 12:30 okay?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“He’s such an idiot,” Julie laughed aloud before going back to work. She hoped the next three hours wouldn’t take too long.


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Hayley hummed to herself as she walked through the electronics store. She hadn’t known Nick a terribly long time, but he had become a great friend and she wanted to get him something for Christmas. She was completely lost in her thoughts when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Excuse me, could you recommend a Play Station 2 game?”

Hayley turned around, fully prepared to give her sweetest smile with an ‘I’m sorry, I don’t work here’ before she smirked and smacked the ‘customer’ on the back of the head.

“Oww! What was that for?”

“You are such a major dork, Nick!” she said laughing at his sunglasses and had. “What’s with the get-up? Halloween has already passed.”

Nick rolled his eyes and playfully smacked Hayley lightly on the forehead. “Forget who I am?”

“Ohhh!” she said, the realization of his celebrity status dawning on her. She had a hard time remembering he wasn’t able to live a normal life all the time. He didn’t act like a celebrity to her, so she often forgot. “Sorry,” she smiled sheepishly.

“What are you up to today?” Nick asked as they wandered around the store.

“Just window shopping,” she said. She couldn’t tell him she was looking for his Christmas present. “What about you?”

“The same and Christmas shopping for my family.” They continued to walk through the store, quietly looking at the various electronic toys.

“So,” Nick broke what had become a somewhat uncomfortable silence. “We’re having a Christmas party in a couple days and I thought you might like to come.”

“Oh, well, that’s really sweet Nick, but I dunno,” Hayley replied quickly. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she didn’t know about a party with his family and friends.

“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun. It’s not gonna be anything real big and flashy and none of the other guys are even gonna be there. We’re all kinda doing our own things this year. You know you wanna come,” he explained. “Come on, Hayley, take one for the team.”

When he said that, Hayley burst out laughing. “You are an idiot, but okay, I’ll go.”

“Alright! You won’t regret it,” Nick smiled, happily.

“You better hope not, Carter.’


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Brianna sat up from her cozy spot on the sofa when Kevin plowed into the living room. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Go pack a bag, we have a flight to catch,” he answered, the excitement evident in his voice and eyes.

“Where are we going?” Brianna asked as she made her way to their bedroom.

“It’s a secret.”

Turning around, she looked at Kevin like he was insane. “You tell me to back because we have a flight to catch and then think you don’t have to tell me where we’re going? Think again. Where are we going, Kevin?” she asked sharply.

“Baby, this is your Christmas present. You’ll find out when we get there.” Leaning in to give Brianna a soft kiss, he smiled. “Please don’t make this difficult.”

“Kevin, you know I don’t like flying.”

“We have a private jet. I pulled some strings and it’s gonna be a cozy flight with just the three of us and the pilot. No interruptions or anything. So, please, just pack and come with me without asking too many questions.”

“Okay, fine,” Brianna gave in. Finding his lips again, she smiled. “If I guess will you tell me?”

“Brianna.”

“Okay, fine. It was worth a shot,” she laughed.


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“Hey,” Julie greeted Brian when she got in his car.

“Howdy,” he grinned.

“So, where are we off to?” she asked.

“How’s Emma’s?” Brian asked, referring to a small café not too far from the hospital.

“That’s fine,” Julie sighed.

They were soon seated across from one another inside the intimate little café.

“So,” Brian began as he looked over a menu. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Nothing. Well, working, but that’s it.”

“You aren’t coming home?”

“No,” Julie let out a sad sigh. “I talked about it with Mom and it’s just not the same without Daddy. I’m going home to see Mom and everyone else in about a month or so. Besides, I asked for Christmas off last year and it wouldn’t be fair if I asked for it again this year. But Mocha and I have big plans after I get off work,” she said, referring to her cat. Subtly wiping her eyes, she shrugged and added, “Someone has to work…I mean, it is a hospital.”

“Yeah, but you aren’t gonna see your family at all?”

“Really, Bri, it’s no big deal.”

Before he could protest further, their waitress walked up. “Are you ready to order?”


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Howie sighed and closed his eyes. He could feel the first pressures of an oncoming headache. He hadn’t heard any more from Ivy, but he did what she said and turned that name into the police. Unfortunately, it didn’t prove to be any help.

As it turned out, Andrew Davidson was a very wealthy Florida native who, at the moment, was out of the country on business. The police told Howie that right now, he wasn’t a major suspect to them, but they would keep him in mind. Howie was planning on doing a little research himself if the police continued to be no help.

Letting out a tired yawn, he closed his eyes. He had been wondering what he should tell the guys, but hadn’t been able to think of anything, He knew they would want to know, and when they found out, they would no doubt be upset with Howie for not telling them sooner.

“But how can I explain this to them?” he asked aloud. He didn’t even know exactly what was going on; how could he expect his friends to understand. “I don’t even understand.”

****THE NEXT DAY****

AJ sat with his mom at the dinner table. She had invited him to come have dinner with her and he gladly accepted. It had been too long since he had been able to spend extra time with his mom. As much as he had missed that, he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering and Denise noticed that.

“Alex, honey, what’s bothering you?” she asked after placing his plate down in front of him and seating herself across from him.

“Nothing,” he smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you aren’t here darling. You’re off in another world. Care to talk about what’s on your mind?”

AJ knew he could tell his mother anything, but even this was a little uncomfortable. He knew she was well aware of the things he had done, but never before had it been with one of his brother’s ex-girlfriends. “It’s nothing important. Thanks anyway, Mom.” He knew it wasn’t over; Denise gave him ‘The Look.’ She wasn’t finished.

Now, Alex, I know I’m your mother, but sweetheart, you know you can talk to me about absolutely anything. And the way you keep drifting off leads me to believe that this is serious.”

AJ smiled. “I know, Mom.”

“So, come on, spill it,” Denise prodded once more. This time, she pushed her untouched plate aside and propped her elbows on the table, resting her chin in her hand. It definitely wasn’t over.


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“Are they closed?” Kevin asked—again.

“Yes,” Brianna said through clenched teeth. She was becoming very impatient. “My eyes are closed.”

“Okay…give me a second.”

Brianna shifted Kyra from one hip to the other and waited for Kevin to finish whatever he was doing. They had a short flight to, well, wherever they were and stayed over night in a hotel. She was beginning to think maybe Kevin was taking this surprise a little too far, but he seemed so excited. Brianna had to smile. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

“One more second.” It sounded like he was all over the room. “Okay, open.”

Brianna had to gasp. She was standing in a beautiful living room. And it looked exactly like the living room she and Kevin had ‘designed.’ There was a fireplace with the fire going. Hardwood floors with a large, elegant rug in front of the fireplace. The furniture was a set that she and Kevin had picked out a few months earlier. There was a Christmas tree in front of the large window and three stockings hung from the mantle. Brianna tried to blink back tears when she saw the sign above the mantle.

WELCOME HOME!

“Kevin…”

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

“How?”

“A lot of hard work. I made a lot of phone calls,” he smiled. “This was kind of a rush job and if there’s anything that makes you unhappy, it goes. It’s all the furniture we agreed on, so I think you’ll be happy. God, baby, I just wanted this Christmas to be perfect.”

Brianna turned to him, her eyes bright with tears. “I don’t know what to say. This is so…amazing. I love you so much. I wanna see the whole house,” she said, beaming. “I can’t believe I’m home.”


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“Just so you know, I’m driving back to Florida,” Bianca said to Holly as she climbed out of the car.

Holly frowned. “My driving isn’t that bad.”

“That’s what you think,” Bianca mumbled and headed for the front door. Judging from all the cars, everyone was already at her house.

“Home sweet home,” Holly grinned.

Bianca walked in her mother’s house and immediately forgot everything bad. All the hustle and bustle inside made everything seem perfect. When she heard a gasp, she looked over to see her aunt rushing toward her, arms open wide.

“Shirley! They’re home!”

Bianca laughed and gladly accepted her aunt’s warm hug. “Hey, Aunt Linda.”

“Bean, baby!” she heard her mother call.

It only took a minute to rush to her mother’s comforting embrace. “Mama!” Bianca inhaled deeply as she hugged her mother. “You smell so good, Mama. You always do.”

“I’ve missed you sweet pea,” her mom said hugging her once more. “Get comfortable and relax. I know you’ve got to be tired.”

Bianca and Holly hugged and greeted everyone and then relaxed. Bianca was so glad to be home with her family. Christmas on the road just wasn’t the same. Everyone was so interested in her career and they all listened intently as she gave them the ‘dirt’; her cousins oohing and ahhing over her life with the Backstreet Boys. Thankfully, everyone had been sensitive enough not to mention Nick.

“What about that Backdoor boyfriend of yours?” her cousin William asked loudly. “I thought he was coming with you.”

So much for sensitivity.

“Shut up, Will,” Bianca heard her Aunt Betty hiss to her son.

“Uh, that Backstreet Boy and I broke up,” she answered flatly. Getting up, she went into the kitchen where her mother and two of her sisters were baking and getting their traditional family Christmas dinner ready. They always had a big family get-together the week before Christmas.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Bianca asked as the three women buzzed around the large kitchen.

“No, sweetie, we’ve got it,” her Aunt Helen smiled.

“Go relax and watch TV,” her Aunt Virginia added cheerfully.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” her mother smiled and placed a kiss on her daughter’s cheek.

Not soon enough. “Well, I’ll be in my room if you need me.” She suddenly felt the urge to rip apart a stuffed animal. I’m surprised he didn’t mention my birthday.


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Ivy heard footsteps outside the room she was in. When she heard the door opening, she quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She heard the man talking, but didn’t hear anyone else. He’s on the phone.

“No, don’t worry. She’s asleep,” she heard him say. Then, he said something Ivy never expected to hear. “We’re just off Highway 17 near a place called Pierson.”

Ivy stopped breathing. She knew where she was and she was finally gonna get out of there. All she had to do was call Howie. She listened carefully to try and hear anything else he might say, but was fairly sure he had ended the conversation. Moving a little, she gave him the impression she was just waking up. “What?” she asked, wiping her eyes.

“Have a nice nap?” he asked, giving Ivy a somewhat suspicious look.

“Well, I wish it had been longer, but I have to pee,” she said, ignoring the man’s accusing eyes. “Do you mind unlocking me before I wet myself?” This is my shot, she thought, becoming nervous. I’m going home.


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Nick walked downstairs to find his mother busy in the kitchen.

“Nice of you to join us,” she smiled and gave her son a kiss on the cheek.

“It smells good in here, Mom,” he said sitting down at the table.

“Well, it should,” she laughed. “I’ve been baking all morning.”

“You had some help,” BJ said, coming into the kitchen followed by her sisters.

“Yeah, Mom, you can’t take all the credit,” Leslie chimed in, Angel nodding her agreement.

“Where are Dad and Aaron?” Nick asked, interrupting their playful banter.

“Where do you think? It’s Saturday and there’s a game on. I’ll give you one guess,” BJ rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Well, I will leave you ladies to argue in peace,” Nick said and headed for the TV room where his father and brother were watching a basketball game.

Just as he passed the front hallway, a picture on the table caught his attention. He saw there were a few pictures in the large frame, but the one he noticed was a candid shot of him with Bianca a few days before her birthday. He had one arm around her waist and he was giving her bunny ears with his other hand. Bianca had her eyes crossed and was sticking her tongue out. There was no doubt the both of them were extremely happy. As silly as they looked, there was nothing bad between them.

“Yeah, but it’s not that way anymore,” Nick said, angrily shoving the frame into the drawer of the table before stalking off.

***CHRISTMAS EVE***

“Are you kidding me?” Bianca heard Holly yell. She quickly closed her notebook and tried to put it away, but she wasn’t quite fast enough.

“Hey!” Holly greeted a little too cheerfully after flinging Bianca’s door open. “Ooooh! Whatcha writing? Can I read it?”

Bianca swatted Holly’s hands away and narrowed her eyes. “No, you can’t read. It’s personal. Have you ever heard of privacy?”

“Oh puh-leeze! You don’t have privacy, remember? Come on Bean, let me read it.” Holly’s pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears. “Fine, I’ll just search your room.”

“And when you’re finished, I’ll break your fingers.”

Holly’s smile faded, but before she could respond, the doorbell rang. Thank goodness for small miracles, Bianca thought to herself as Holly stomped downstairs. “Now to hide this notebook…”


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Kevin smiled as he walked through his new home. Brianna insisted that they finish decorating as soon as possible, so that’s what they had been doing the last couple days. They had a lot to do to get the house just the way they wanted it, but that didn’t matter. This was their home. Stopping in the doorway, he watched Brianna with a loving gaze. She had just put Kyra down for a nap and she was now seated on the floor at the coffee table with Kevin’s laptop. Her hair was loosely pulled up into a sloppy ponytail and she was in old jeans and Kevin’s Kentucky sweatshirt. Kevin couldn’t help but admire how naturally sexy she was. Straightening up, he cleared his throat so he wouldn’t startle her.

“Hey, baby,” Brianna smiled.

“What are you doing?” he asked, taking a seat on the sofa. He leaned down and kissed her; softly at first, then a little more deeply.

When their kiss broke, Brianna slid over s se was leaning against the couch between Kevin’s legs. “I’m just looking for stuff to get for the house.

“Having any luck?” he asked, draping his arms over her shoulders.

“Yes, actually. There are a lot of things that would be perfect for the house. I’ve only ordered a few but not too many.”

Kevin smiled. “Baby, order anything you want.”


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“Hello?” Hayley answered her telephone while trying to make herself some lunch. Why, when the phone rings, am I always doing something that requires both hands?

Sensing the slight annoyance in her voice Nick asked, “Did I call at a bad time?”

“No, I’m just making lunch. Hang on a sec.”

Nick listened to the noises on Hayley’s end. He could hear drawers and cabinets opening and closing and dishes clanking together. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call back later?” he asked when Hayley picked the phone back up.

“Yeah, it’s fine. So, what’s up?” she asked between bites of her sandwich.

“I was just making sure you’re coming tonight,” he sounded somewhat nervous.

“Yeah, I’m coming. What time do I need to be there?”

“Around five. We don’t wanna keep anyone out late on Christmas Eve. I’ll see you later,” he chuckled…nervously.

“Okay,” Hayley mumbled when the call ended. “What in the heck is up with him?”


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Bianca was lying on her bed reading a magazine when she heard three soft knocks on her door. Glancing toward the door, she debated whether or not she wanted company. She knew it was either Holly or one of her cousins. Her brother was driving in that evening, so it couldn’t be him and her mother was out doing a little last minute shopping. As much as she loved Christmas and being around her family, she just didn’t feel very social at that moment. “Go away.”

Again she heard three soft knocks.

“I really don’t feel like company right now. I’ll be downstairs in a little while.”

Three more knocks.

Bianca sighed in irritation and decided to see why whoever this was wouldn’t leave her alone. They would surely have hell to pay for getting her off her warm, comfy bed. “Can you understand English or what?” she jerked the door open and her eyes grew wide.

“Si,” AJ smiled at her. He was holding a red rose. “I’m just a little hard-headed.”

“Yeah, you got that right,” she smiled and moved aside so he could come into her room. Plopping down on the edge of her bed, she looked at him quizzically. “What are you doing here? You should be in Florida with your family. What is your mom gonna say?”

“Well, actually,” he paused, his grin growing wider, “she told me to get m butt up here.” AJ looked around the room for a second before he picked up a wooden picture frame. He looked at it closely and immediately recognized Bianca, but not the guy she was with. He was tall with dark hair, eyes, and skin and Bianca was riding piggy-back. “Who’s this?”

“That’s my brother,” she smiled fondly. “You’ll get to meet him tonight. Well, if you stick around that long.”

“Of course I will…what makes you think I’m goin’ anywhere?”


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Julie sighed to herself as she unlocked her apartment. “Hey Mocha,” she said as the cat lovingly rubbed against her leg. She stopped long enough to hit the play button her answering machine before heading into her small kitchen.

You have three new messages, the automated voice said.

4:53 pm

Hey Jules, it’s Mom. I was just calling to check on you. I’ll call you tomorrow sweet heart. Love you.
5:19 pm She heard her sisters loud, cheerful voice fill the room.

Julie, you had better call me! Merry Christmas!
7:24pm

Hi Jules, it’s Brian. I just wanted to call and wish you a Merry Christmas. I’ll call you later.
Julie looked at her watch. “I missed him by like five minutes. I’ll call him back in a little while.”

Putting her frozen dinner in the microwave, she opened a can of cat food and put it down for Mocha. She made her way to her bedroom to change clothes. When she came back into her living room, she stopped abruptly. “What the hell?”

There was a large Christmas tree and a number of gifts underneath it. “How in the world did I not see that when I came in? Better yet, how did someone get in here?”

The shrill sound of her telephone brought her back to reality. Unable to conceal the confusion in her voice, she answered. “Hello?”

“Merry Christmas!” Brian greeted.

“Thank you,” she laughed. “I, uh, think Santa made an early stop by my place.”

“Why do you say that?”

Before she had a chance to explain, her doorbell rang. “Just a sec, Brian.” Julie’s jaw dropped when she opened the door.

“Merry Christmas!” a chorus of voices called out cheerfully.

Without realizing it, Julie’s eyes filled with tears. Her mom, sister, Brian, and his parents were all staring at her with large smiles. “What are you doing here? I-I don’t understand,” she stammered and gave everyone a hug. “How did you do all of this?”

“Well,” Brian began, “we all decided since you couldn’t come to Kentucky for Christmas, we’d bring Christmas to you.”

“You shouldn’t be spending Christmas alone dear,” Jackie Littrell said with a warm smile.

“Besides,” her mother spoke up, “did you actually think we would not be spending the holidays together as a family?”

Julie was speechless. She had always loved her family, but she never imagined they could ever think to surprise her like this. Wiping at the tears streaming down her cheeks, she thought about her father. This was something he would have done. He would never have accepted the excuse that his little girl wouldn’t make it home for Christmas because of work. He would have played Santa and come to her. She was barely able to speak, but she managed to get her question through her sobs. “Wh-who’s idea was this?”

Annette smiled and wrapped her daughter in a loving hug. “You have Brian to thank for this. He didn’t think you should be alone during the holidays so we came to you. Isn’t that sweet?”


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“What do you want for dinner?” Brianna stuck her head in the nursery where Kevin was rocking Kyra.

“Anything is fine with me, baby,” he smiled and gently placed Kyra back into her crib. “I’ve bee thinking about something, Bree,” he expressed, following Brianna downstairs.

“What’s that?” she inquired, making her way around the vast kitchen.

“Us.”

“What about us?” she questioned further, giving him her full attention.

“Well, I was just thinking maybe we could go ahead and get married instead of waiting.”

Brianna chuckled. As many times as they had discussed that and both agreed they wanted to have the perfect wedding. “What brought this up?”

“I’m serious, Bree. Why don’t we get married now instead of waiting until February? As long as we’re married, why does it matter where and when? Why should we care about our guests?” Kevin gushed and grasped her small hand in his.

“You’re serious,” she said quietly in a state of disbelief.

“Yeah, I am. Why not?” he asked again. “We both love each other and that’s all that matters. Let’s do it!” His voice was filled with a child-like excitement.

“No, Kevin. We both decided to wait until February. We already have most of it planned. And it’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl,” she said defiantly.

“Well, what if we still had that wedding, but we got married now? We could always have a wedding that our friends and family could come to, but this could be for us.”

“No,” came Brianna’s reply. “You don’t understand, do you? The wedding we have been planning is more for me than anyone else. I don’t want top get married in some chapel by the road where the minister is a cheap Elvis impersonator. Is that too much for you to grasp?”

Kevin didn’t have a chance to answer her question. Before he knew it, Brianna had stormed past him and gone upstairs, slamming the door behind her.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick opened his front door and found Hayley holding a few presents. “Here, let me help you.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. “So, where’s the party?”

“Everyone’s in the den.”

“Hayley! C’mon in. We’re so glad you could make it,” Jane Carter called cheerfully. “Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you” she smiled politely as Jane began introducing her to a few people.

***A LITTLE LATER***

“Here,” Nick handed Hayley a glass of eggnog. “Havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, I am,” she smiled and took a sip from the glass. “Thanks. Oh, I almost forgot.”

Nick watched as Hayley went over to the tree and picked up two wrapped boxes. Smiling, she sat down and handed them to Nick. “Merry Christmas.”

Without wasting any time, Nick tore into the wrapping paper. “Hey, how did you know I didn’t have this game?” he asked, holding it up.

“I had your sister take a peek at your game collection,” she grinned. “Go ahead, open the other one.”

“Oh man, you’re the coolest!” Nick exclaimed. Taking the gift card out, he gave Hayley a hug. “I love Spencer’s!”

“Yeah, I knew you would,” she laughed.

“This is your gift,” Nick said handing Hayley a small box wrapped in green and gold paper.

Hayley carefully unwrapped the tiny box and opened it. She stared for a moment at the delicate gold necklace. It was a beautiful emerald—her birthstone. “Nick--”

“Do you like it?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes, but Nick I--” she was suddenly silenced by Nick’s lips on hers.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Howie sat, staring dejectedly at the Christmas tree. He was alone on Christmas Eve and he would be alone on Christmas day. His family had begged him to come and be with them for the holiday, but he declined. He couldn’t risk not being home. What if the police found a lead that would help them locate Ivy? What if Ivy got the opportunity to call again? He just couldn’t take that chance.

He sighed and decided he could use a drink. He went into the kitchen and pulled a glass out of the cupboard. Just as he was reaching to get something to take his mind off the world, the phone rang.

“No, Mom, I’m still not coming,” he muttered to himself. “Hello?”

“Howie?” the voice was broken up, but he didn’t need to question who it was.

“Ivy!” he yelled over the static.

“How…I..…where…am.”

“What?” he could barely make out anything she was saying because the signal was breaking up.

“I…Pier..…way seven…”

“Ivy, I can’t understand you,” he yelled frantically.

“Pierson…tha…..am. Highwa….teen….love you.”

The phone call ended abruptly and Howie stood there trying to piece together what he could understand of the short conversation. Pierson…seven…seventeen…highway…Oh God, she told me where she is! Howie didn’t waste any time. He grabbed his keys and left, deciding to call the guys later and the police after he knew where he was going. God, please let me find her!

Ivy began to panic. She had no idea whether or not Howie had heard anything she said. The battery on her phone had finally died; her only key to getting home was gone. The sudden pounding on the bathroom door startled her and she dropped the phone with a loud yelp. Before she knew what was happening, the door flew open and there stood Andrew and her “babysitter.” Ivy watched Andrew’s intent gaze travel from her face down to the many pieces of the phone at her feet.

“I-I can explain,” she tried lamely to reason with the two large, angry men.

“No need,” Andrew’s voice was laden with sarcasm as he roughly jerked Ivy from the small confines of the bathroom. “Looks to me like you were going to attempt a get-away. What do you think John?” he spoke the man’s name for the first time since they had kidnapped Ivy.

“I think you’re right,” John huffed in agreement.

“You know, Ivy, I thought you would be smarter than that,” Andrew’s face darkened. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he brought his large hand across Ivy’s cheek, sending her flying to the floor. “You know, you are really stupid, Ivy. That celebrity boyfriend of yours hasn’t helped you at all. Luckily, I have a great surprise for you.”

Ivy placed her hand on her already swollen cheek as tears began to sting her eyes. She watched as Andrew walked out of the room and then came back a few minutes later. She didn’t dare move; she was afraid Andrew would do much worse than slap her if she even looked at him the wrong way. In fact, she was terrified he was going to kill her. What a Christmas present that would be. She glanced up at Andrew when he loudly cleared his throat. Her attention was drawn to the door opening. As soon as she caught sight of the man entering the room, she wanted more desperately to find a way out. There’s no way; it’s not possible! “Daniel?” she choked out.

The man was tall and large with black hair and deep brown eyes. He greatly resembled his father; if it weren’t for Andrew’s salt and pepper hair to show his age, some might mistake them for brothers. Ivy watched, silently horrified, as the man came to a halt right in front of her. His broad shoulders and large frame cast an ominous shadow over Ivy and his eyes were cold as he stared down at her.

“Ivy,” his voice boomed. He was even more terrifying than Andrew. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Without thinking, Ivy gave him a disgusted glare and said, “For you, maybe. Too bad I can’t say the same.”

In the blink of an eye, Daniel had a firm grip on Ivy’s hair. As soon as he had her on her feet, he slammed her into the wall. “Look, if there’s one think that I don’t need right now, it’s your smartass mouth. I’ve been through a lot in the last year and why? All because of you. So, Ivy, if I were you, I’d think real hard before I say anything else.”

Ivy nodded in reply and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to break free. She had been scared before when it was just Andrew and John, but now she was horrified. Andrew she could deal with, but Daniel was a different story. He was much meaner than his father. In the three years Ivy had been married to him, she had been on the receiving end of his temper at least 90% of the time. Then, one day just a year earlier, she decided she cold handle no more, and when he began the normal yelling that started his tantrums, Ivy made sure they moved into the room where Daniel kept his gun. It may have been premeditated, but it was also self-defense. If Ivy had not shot him that day, she was sure he would have killed her without a second thought. He would have also made it look like a terrible accident. That may still be the plan, she thought with a shudder.

---

Howie drove down Highway 17 looking for any sign that could help him piece together the phone call from Ivy. So far, he had only been able to figure out that he needed to be driving on Highway 17, but he didn’t know whether to go north or south. Instead of wasting any more time than he had to, he just turned his car north and began driving. Ivy could be anywhere, he knew that, but he kept repeating the bits and pieces of the call in his head. Suddenly, he saw a road sign. Pierson 15 miles. “She’s in Pierson...”

Pressing the accelerator, Howie decided that he would take his chances with an officer if he passed one. It would be even better if someone did try and stop him. When he saw the exit he needed, he didn’t even brake as he sped across the right hand lane in front of another car. Howie ignored the blaring horn and rude gestures of the angry driver. All he knew was that he had to find Ivy soon.

Spotting a gas station as he came down the off ramp, Howie decided he would go in and show the clerk a picture of Ivy. He knew it was unlikely anyone had seen her, but he would take that chance. Once inside, he walked around before going over to question the woman behind the counter. As desperate as he was, he didn’t want to be mobbed because someone recognized him. As soon as the store cleared out, he cautiously made his way over to the check out counter.

“Excuse me?” he said politely.

“Yeah?” the clerk was uninterested in Howie as she filed her nails.

Glancing at her nametag Howie pulled the picture from his wallet. “Um, Teresa, have you seen this woman?”

Stopping long enough to take a quick glance at the photograph in Howie’s hand, the girl blew a bubble with her gum and shook her head. “Sorry, I haven’t.”

“That’s okay,” he answered in disappointment. He knew it had been a long shot, but he had to give it a try. There couldn’t be that many gas stations in this town, maybe he would luck up at one of them and find someone who could tell him something about Ivy.

Suddenly, the bells on the door jingled and Howie looked to see a very familiar looking man walk to the back of the store. Thinking back to where he could have seen this man, Howie moved to the other side of the store and watched him. Then, it came rushing back to him. It was the “police officer” that had arrested Ivy; he couldn’t believe it. This was going to be his only chance to find Ivy and get her home safely. Whispering a silent thank you to God, he waited on the far side of the small store and hoped that the man wouldn’t see him.

When Howie was sure that it was safe for him to start trailing the man, he quickly made his way to his car and made sure to keep up with his only way to Ivy. “Please, let her be okay…”

---

Ivy braced herself as she prepared for another blow from Daniel’s heavy hand. She was sure her face was one large bruise, but he was nowhere near being done with her. As his hand made a fierce contact with her face, she managed to get a look at the twisted smile that Andrew was wearing. He looked like he was thoroughly enjoying Ivy’s beating. It made her sick to her stomach to think about what they were going to do next.

Finally, Daniel stopped hitting her and looked down at her with an evil smile. “Oh, how I’ve missed you darling.” His voice was filled with as much hate as the punches his hands had been delivering for the past hour. If this was what they were going to keep doing to her, Ivy wished he would go ahead and kill her and get it over with. She knew that’s what all of this was leading up to, so why not do it now?

“Okay, Daniel, that’s enough for now.”

Andrew’s words echoed in Ivy’s ears. Enough for now…I wish they would just kill me. She watched through swollen eyelids as the two men exchanged glances and she could tell that Daniel was not happy about being ordered around by his father. Glancing at Andrew, Ivy thought they were going to leave her alone for a while, but apparently she was wrong.

“Ivy…Where do I begin to explain to you…” Andrew was pacing back and forth in front of her tapping his finger on his chin. “I suppose you already know that you’re not getting away from us again. You’re coming home. That is, if we decide to let you.”

Ivy tried her best to keep her cool and stay calm; she didn’t want them to see her cry. Why would it matter now? There’s nothing I can do, so why am I trying to stay strong? She had long given up on Howie, deciding that there had been too much static for him to hear anything she said. Now, she just had to deal with the torture that Daniel and Andrew were putting her through before they disposed of her.

“You, darling, are going to come home and things are going to be the way they were before. I don’t know why you thought you could get away with something like that, Ivy. Stupidity, I suppose. How on earth did you think you could hide from me?”

Avoiding his dark gaze, Ivy tried to find something to focus on. She used to do this when Daniel was having one of his fits. She would find a point in the room and focus all her attention to that one place and she wouldn’t take her mind off of it until Daniel had finished whatever he was doing. After a while, she became numb to his abuse and she didn’t have to worry about hiding the bruises; she wasn’t allowed to have friends or go anywhere without him. She was stuck inside their house all day every day. Some days though, she was able to sneak away for a few hours at a time and enjoy a day at the park. That’s how she met Howie. Thinking of him made her smile.

“What are you smiling about?” she heard Daniel question.

“I was just thinking about how I missed you,” she lied.

“You even changed your appearance to try and stay hidden,” Andrew said, his amusement obvious. “What did you think, Ivy? Cutting and straitening your hair would make you a new person?”

Looking into Andrew’s eyes, Ivy began to cry. “Please…I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re all fine. I swear, if you let me go, you’ll never see me or hear from me again.” She couldn’t pretend to be strong any longer; she decided that her only way out was begging.

Ivy heard Daniel snort from across the room. “We’re all okay, huh? Well, tell me something, Ives…does this look okay?” He ripped open his button down shirt to reveal a large scar over his heart. “That’s where they had to go in to repair the damage from the bullet YOU put in my heart. I’m lucky you didn’t kill me you stupid bitch.”

Ivy began to sob as he loomed over her, threatening to begin the abuse again. “I’m sorry, Daniel...I-I was scared…”

“And you think that makes me feel sorry for you? I almost died…but you’re sorry so we should let you go. Is that how it works? No, it’s not. So just sit back, Ivy. You’re in for a long night.”

---

Howie looked around the dark, wooded area he had followed the man to. They were on a dirt road now, and he was trying to make sure that it wasn’t obvious he was following the man. Somehow he hadn’t lost him, even through all the back roads of the small town. At one point, Howie thought maybe the man was trying to lose him.

“No chance,” he mumbled to himself.

Finally, he saw a large cabin in the distance. It was surrounded by a number of trees and he noticed that there were two other cars parked in the front yard. He watched the man get out of his car and go inside, carrying the goodies he’d picked up from the station. Howie decided to wait before he got out of his car, and he also parked away from the house. He knew he was taking a chance by not parking near the cabin, but he didn’t want to risk anyone inside hearing his door shut. All I need is for one of them to find me.

Howie slowly made his way around the rear of the cabin and saw that it was dark. All the lights were coming from one room inside the cabin—where they were keeping Ivy. He knew that he wasn’t being smart by not telling someone where he was, especially the police, but he knew that no one would help him. They would all tell him to give them time to take care of the situation. Time was a luxury he didn’t have; what if they did something to Ivy? He couldn’t take that chance.

He tried to be as quiet as possible as he crept onto the back deck. Letting out a short sigh of relief, he saw that the back door was standing wide open. He had a perfect way in, but that was the easy part. As he got closer to the door, he could hear men talking and Ivy’s quiet sobbing. Thank God she’s still alive. Howie bit his bottom lip as he walked into the cabin, hoping that he wouldn’t make any noise that would let them know someone else was there.

“I need some fresh air,” he heard one of them say. “I’m going outside. Either of you coming?”

“Yeah,” another said.

“Sure, it’s not like she’s going anywhere,” a third voice spoke up. Then all that was left was the sound of Ivy crying.

Howie knew this was his only chance to get in to get Ivy. He quickly found the room she was in when he saw the light flooding through the crack at the bottom. He still tried to keep as quiet as he could as he opened the door. When he caught sight of Ivy, he felt his heart break.

They had beaten her to the point where he almost didn’t recognize her. Both of her eyes were swollen nearly shut and her lip was busted. She had bruises on her cheeks, as well as several long gashes. Her dark hair was tangled and it looked like they had been dragging her around buy it.

Howie dropped to his knees in front of her and took both her hands in his. “Ivy…baby…are you okay?” he whispered.

“Howie…” she sounded like a small child; fragile and scared. “Oh, God, Howie, I thought I would never see you again.”

“Shhh…don’t worry baby, I’m gonna get you out of here. We’re going home.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” Howie froze when he heard the man’s voice. He hadn’t even heard him come into the room.

Slowly turning to face the man, Howie saw that he was quite a bit taller than himself. He wasn’t scared for himself, but for what they might do to Ivy because of him. “Look,” he began to reason with the man. “Why don’t you just let us go, okay? We haven’t done anything to you, so we’ll just be on our way…”

“No, I don’t think you will,” the man countered. “See, Ivy hasn’t been a good girl, so she’s receiving her punishment for the past year, but since this is none of your business, I think you need to stay out of it.”

“Oh, but it is my business.”

“Really? How is it your business?”

“Daniel, I see we have company,” and older man exclaimed as he entered the room. He looked like an older version of the man Howie had been talking to and he figured it was the man’s father. “You must be the celebrity we’ve heard so much about. And it looks like Ivy DID make a get-away attempt. It’s a pity it didn’t work.”

“I was just telling him that--”

“I know what you were telling him,” Andrew snapped. “But see, it’s not going to work. Sorry.”

“I think we should at least hear him out…”

“You’re being an idiot, son…why don’t you keep you mouth shut?”

Howie watched as Andrew turned toward Daniel and began to lecture him on his stupidity. They may have both been large men, but Howie knew if he could catch them off guard, he would have an advantage. He knew that Andrew had a gun inside his jacket, but the chances that he would get his hands on it before Howie could stop him would be next to nothing.

Deciding this was his only opportunity, Howie lunged for Andrew. As soon as he made contact with him, Howie took him to the floor. It wasn’t long before Andrew was over the initial shock and fighting back. They were rolling around on the floor; Howie was trying to make sure Andrew didn’t get his hands on the gun.

Ivy watched in horror as the two men struggled for what seemed like forever. Suddenly, they were both back on their feet, but Ivy quickly noticed the gun they were both trying hard to get the hands on. As soon as she caught a glimpse of the cold steel, her blood ran cold. She knew that if Andrew got the chance, he would not only kill her, but he would make sure to get rid of Howie as well. She wanted to get up and run to Howie; to get him away from Andrew, but Daniel was making sure she stayed in her chair.

Suddenly, the sound of the gun exploded and then there was nothing but silence. Everything around seemed to stop and Ivy watched as Howie pulled back. Letting out a shriek, Ivy broke free of Daniel’s grasp and rushed over to Howie. She ignored all the pain she was feeling; the blood that was rapidly spreading across Howie’s shirt was enough to numb her all over. When she was standing in front of him, she grabbed his face in her hands.

“Howie, talk to me…are you okay?” She just wanted him to be alright, but he wouldn’t answer. Howie just kept staring at the blood that was soaking his entire shirt.

“Howie!” Ivy screeched. “Please…Howie…”

Looking into her eyes, Howie sucked in a breath and made sure his voice was nothing more than a whisper. “It’s only my shoulder.”

Suddenly, Ivy felt herself being jerked back away from Howie. She watched as Howie held his chest and slid down the wall. Andrew was standing over him the entire time; he was laughing. Daniel let go of her as she sat down and made his way from the room to make sure there was no one around outside. Ivy glanced down at Howie. He had whispered to her that he had only been shot in his shoulder, but he appeared to be gasping for breath. That’s when Ivy spotted it.

The gun was only a few feet from her feet and it was behind Andrew who was still standing over Howie. He was saying something, but Ivy wasn’t listening. She was going for that gun. She made sure to stay as quiet as possible as she crept toward it. It seemed to take forever to reach the gun, but when she did, she lifted it up and pointed it at Andrew.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Daniel’s deep voice ricocheted off the walls. “Now, Ivy…you wouldn’t even know what to do with a gun.”

“I used one on you once, didn’t I?” she retorted angrily.

Turning around, Andrew’s eyes widened and he made sure not to make any sudden movements. He knew that nothing was more dangerous than a woman with a gun. His son may have scared the shit out of Ivy, but he wasn’t always smart. “Ivy…darling…put down the gun.”

“Why should I?” she cried. “You just shot Howie.”

“Put down the gun,” his voice was stern.

Before any of them knew what was happening, Ivy felt Daniel’s arms around her as he tackled her in an attempt to get the gun away from her. Then, just like before, there was another deafening blast and the silence that followed seemed to last forever. Daniel and Ivy stumbled away from one another and the gun slid across the floor.

Ivy brought her hands up to her face and was horrified to see them covered in her own blood and then she felt pain rip through her entire body. She looked down and saw the blood soaking through her shirt; she’d been shot. The pain continued to tear through her body as she staggered over to Howie.

“Ivy,” Howie’s voice came out a terrified whisper. “Baby…are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay Howie,” she managed a weak smile.

“Please…don’t let her suffer…get her some help. All you have to do is call an ambulance and then leave. I swear I won’t tell anyone that any of you were here,” Howie begged in a desperate voice. “You have to help her, or--”

Daniel interrupted Howie with a sarcastic snort. “So, you want us to call for help so she won’t die? Why should we bother saving her? She wasn’t concerned about getting help when she put a bullet in me last year.”

“Please,” Howie was holding back tears. They couldn’t do this to them. His wound was not life threatening, but he knew Ivy’s could be. Glancing down at Ivy, he saw that she was unconscious. Her skin was clammy and had paled and was no longer the deep olive it usually was. “Ivy, wake up. C’mon Ivy,” he called to her, patting her cheeks gently. He continued to try his best to rouse her.

“Call 911, Daniel,” Andrew instructed his son.

“No, she doesn’t deserve to live.”

“Call them, now,” Andrew was quickly loosing his patience with his son. “You don’t want to cross me.”

Daniel pulled his cell phone and called for help. Howie listened to Daniel’s end of the conversation.

“Yes, we have two people that have been shot. A male mid to late twenties and female early to mid twenties. No, the male is conscious and alert, but the female is unconscious and her breathing seems to be shallow. 1229 Cedar Village Road.”

---

“24 year old hispanic female…single GSW to lower abdomen…found unconcious at the scene… pulse is weak and thready…BP’s 105/60 and dropping,” a dark haired EMT rattled off Ivy’s stats as they wheeled her into the Emeregency Room of the local hospital.

Howie stuck close to the quickly moving paramedics as they took the gurney into a trauma room. “Do you know her name?” he heard a doctor ask. “Okay, move her on my count…1…2…3…”

“Name’s Ivy DeMora,” the EMT answered before coming back out to where Howie was watching, horrified.

“Mr. Dorough, I think you should go sit in chairs while they work on Ms. DeMora,” the petite woman said in a stern, but concerned voice.

“No,” he shook his head furiously. “I need to stay here…Ivy needs me.”

“Mr. Dorough…the doctors are working on her and there’s nothing you can do. Besides, you need to get your arm checked out soon.”

“My arm is fine,” he said defiantly as he shrugged the woman’s hands off of him.

Becoming frustrated with him, the EMT went to the triage station and looked at the nurse. “See that man over there? He’s got a GSW to the shoulder and needs to be checked out. He refuses to leave the trauma room doors because they’re working on his girlfriend…please see what you can do for him.”

“Okay, Phyllis,” the nurse nodded and decided to see what she could do herself. “Excuse me, sir?”

“Go away,” Howie turned and looked at her, rage filling his eyes.

“Sir, you need to have yourself examined by a physician. If you would just follow me…”

“Look…” Howie paused to check the nurse’s nametag, “Diane, that woman on that table is the love of my life and if she doesn’t make it, I don’t know what I will do.”

“I understand that sir, but there’s not really a lot you can do standing outside the trauma room. And you obviously need to be checked out. So please, come with me and I will have someone come talk to you as soon as they have any information. I promise you that much,” she said in a gentle tone.

Looking at her wise blue eyes, Howie gave in and decided that she was right. He was in pain even if he wanted to deny it. “Okay,” he said with a defeated nod.

“Good,” she smiled warmly. “Follow me.”

Looking around the brightly lit Emergency room, Howie couldn’t help but feel angry. Everyone seemed to be in such a good mood; they were all in the Christmas spirit. He, however, was sitting in the hospital waiting for a doctor to examine his gunshot wound while his girlfriend was near death, also with a gunshot wound. Some Christmas, he thought bitterly. Why did things turn out this way?

“Hello Mr. Dorough. I’m Dr. Caldwell,” a tall man with salt and pepper hair came up with a chart in his hands. “How are you this evening?”

“I’m peachy keen,” Howie answered, rolling his eyes at the doctor.

Ignoring Howie’s smart comment, the doctor sat down on the stool and looked up at Howie. “Is your shoulder the only place you were hit?”

“Yeah. I’m fine really, I just need some aspirin or something for the pain. Can you tell me how Ivy is?”

“No, we’ll need to clean the wound and get your arm in a sling to prevent further damage. Who is Ivy?” he asked, jotting something down on the paper.

“Okay, whatever. Please just hurry,” Howie’s voice was impatient. “Ivy is my girlfriend…I was brought in here with her.”

“Oh, yes, the trauma that was just brought in,” he said and watched a scowl come across Howie’s face. “I’m not sure, but I’m sure you will have some information soon. Now, I’m going to go and someone will be in shortly.”

“Asshole,” he mumbled as soon as the doctor was gone. Looking around, he felt completely helpless; there was nothing he could do but wait. And that was the worst thing in the world. Finally, after what seemed like years, Diane came through the door. “Any news?” he asked, his face lighting up with hope.

“They had to take her up to surgery, but shee was stable when the took her, so I think things are looking good,” she smiled showing her bright smile. Brushing a bit of her graying hair off of her forehead, she sighed. “Now, we need to get you cleaned up and good as new for that pretty lady upstairs.”

---

“Nick,” he heard his mother call from the kitchen. “You have a phone call.”

Breaking away from Hayley’s full lips, Nick sighed and gave her an apologetic smile. “Could you take a message, please?” Thinking that she had done as he’d asked, he turned back to Hayley and resumed his sweet torture on her lips.

“Nick…it’s Howie and it sounds important,” Jane called once again.

Sighing in defeat, Nick looked at Hayley. “I’m really sorry. I will be right back.” Walking into the den, he picked up the receiver with an irritated sigh. “This had better be good, D.”

“Nick…” Howie’s voice sounded far away. “Man, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I know you’re the only one home.”

“What is it man?” Nick asked, concern replacing the frustration. “Are you okay?”

“No, not really. I’m in Pierson at the Volusia County Medical Center. Ivy and I had an accident.”

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Nick cried. “What happened?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, but my shoulder hurts a little. Ivy is in surgery right now, so I don’t know exactly what’s going on. I’m sorry to just call out of nowhere, but you’re the only one that I knew wasn’t out of town and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Hey, D, it’s not a problem. Do you want me to come there and sit with you? Pierson…it’s a couple hours drive…right?”

“You don’t have to do that, Nick,” Howie’s voice was small and fragile sounding. “It’s Christmas Eve, you should be with your family.”

“And what are you, Howie?” Nick asked quickly. “You’re my family, too, and right now you don’t need to be alone. Just sit tight, and I’ll be there as soon as I can be, okay?”

“Okay,” he sounded relieved. “Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” he replied, trying hard to hold back his tears. “I really appreciate this.”

“Man, you’re my brother and I’m gonna do all that I can to help you out. Don’t worry about it."

---

Walking into the Volusia County Medical Center, Nick looked around. Howie certainly wouldn’t be expecting him this soon; he’d turned an almost two and a half hour drive into one hour and twenty-two minutes. “I’m damn lucky I didn’t get a ticket,” he mumbled quietly. Walking up to the help desk in the center of the large, open lobby, Nick cleared his throat to get the attention of the young woman sitting there doing nothing more than reading a magazine. “Excuse me?”

“Yes,” she smiled politely and put down the magazine. “May I help you?”

“Um, yeah, I’m looking for a Howard Dorough and and Ivy DeMora. Could you possibly tell me where I would find them?”

“Just one second,” she said and went to typing furiously on her keyboard. After a few minutes, she turned back to Nick. “Mr. Dorough was released from the Emergency room a while ago and Ms. DeMora was taken up to the 6th floor for surgery.”

“Thanks,” Nick said and headed for the elevators.

Luckily, there were no other passengers on the elevator with him and it didn’t stop for anyone to get on. The door soon opened, revealing the taupe colored waiting room. He often wondered why hospitals were all the same nauseating color. Looking around for Howie, he didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe he’s in the waiting room on the other side. Rounding the large nurse’s station, Nick smiled at the nurses that cast a curious glance his way. Thankfully, none of them approached him. Walking into the other waiting room, he immediately spotted Howie sitting in a chair, his head in his hands.

“Hey, man,” Nick greet quietly.

Looking up at Nick, Howie’s eyes filled with tears and he instantly got up and embraced the tall blonde. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

---

Nick paced back and forth beside Howie as he waited for a young man to end his conversation on the telephone. Howie had asked him to call everyone and explain what happened, and now he was waiting…becoming more impatient as the seconds ticked by. Without realizing it, he let out an irritated sigh which caused the man to turn and give him a hateful glare.

“Yeah, there’s some jerk huffin’ and puffin’ to use the phone, so I’d better go. Yeah, he looks like one of those prima donna types, so I don’t wanna make Mr. Everything mad. I’ll talk to ya later. Bye,” the man hung up and shot Nick another glare before exiting the cramped waiting room.

“Finally,” Nick muttered, picking up the receiver. He shot a quick glance in Howie’s direction and saw that he had fallen asleep on the awful taupe couch. Dialing Brian’s number, he waited patiently for someone to answer.

Hello, you’re reached the Littrell’s. Jackie’s sweet southern voice filled his ear. I’m sorry we can’t be hear to take your call, but if you leave a message with your name and telephone number, we’ll be glad to call you back. Thank you and have a blessed day!

Nick replaced the receiver before the final beep sounded; this just wasn’t a message for an answering machine. Dropping another quarter into the payphone he decided to call Brian’s cell phone once more. Just when he was about to give up, Brian answered.

“Hello?” Brian’s voice was filled with laughter.

“Bri! Am I ever glad to hear your voice!” Nick cried.

“Nick, man, I love you, but not like that,” he joked. “What’s up?”

“Uh, Howie and Ivy had an accident tonight and I’m at the hospital with him,” Nick said quietly. “Ivy’s still in surgery now.”

“What?” Brian cried with much the same reaction Nick had earlier.

“I don’t know any details, but I thought I would call everyone. Howie’s asleep for now, but he’s pretty shook up.”

“Damn it,” Brian swore quietly. “Well, where are you? I’m actually in Florida now.”

After Nick gave him the hospital and town he said his goodbyes and proceeded in calling the other two guys. AJ would be next. He began to dial AJ’s home telephone number and then remembered that Howie had said he was the only on that was at home. Dropping the quarter back into the phone he punched in the number to AJ’s cell phone and waited patiently for an answer. After three rings, he heard a soft female voice.

That cannot be who I think it is, he thought when she greeted the caller again. “Uh, is AJ around?”

---

Bianca froze at the voice on the other end of the line. Nick. “Um, he’s in the shower. Can I take a message?”

Nick decided that it couldn’t possibly be Bianca who answered AJ’s telephone. “Uh, no, it’s about his friend Howie, so if you could, have him call when he get a chance. It’s important.”

“What happened to Howie?” Bianca asked, worry filling her voice. “Nick…what happened?”

Closing his eyes, Nick tried not to let the jealousy he was feeling come out. This is not the time for this to be happening…I have to worry about Howie right now. “Well, he and Ivy had an accident. It’s not good, so could you please tell him I called?”

“Wait, Nick…I’ll get him!”

Nick listened and heard the phone land with a soft thud on something, a bed he presumed. He could hear faint voices in the background and then footsteps. Soon, AJ’s voice filled his ear. “Hello?”

“AJ, it’s Nick. Uh, I just thought I needed to call and tell you that Howie and Ive were involved in an accident tonight. We’re at the hospital right now and Ivy’s still in surgery.”

“Tell Howie that we’re coming back to Florida as soon as we can,” AJ said and got all the information he needed from Nick. “Nick?”

“What?” Nick’s voice was hard and impatient.

“Thanks,” AJ said quietly, emotion filling every crevice of his voice. Nick didn’t say anything and AJ heard the click when he hung up. Turning to Bianca, he sighed sadly. “I have to go back to Florida.”

“I’m coming with you,” she said with no hesitation at all.

“Are you sure you wanna do that?” he asked, taking her hand in his.

“Look, I know that Nick and I aren’t getting along at all, and I know it might be awkward, but Howie is my friend, too. I want to be there for him,” she said, tears glistening in her blue eyes.

“Okay,” AJ said and pulled her into a hug. “We need to get to an airport fast.”

---

Nick was still reeling from his talk with AJ when he heard someone enter the small waiting room. He was about to try and call Kevin and Brianna when the person cleared their throat. Turning around, Nick saw that it was the surgeon. He was still clad in his green scrubs and had his mask hanging around his neck, though his cap was gone. “Mr. Dorough?”

“No, that’s Howie,” Nick said and went over to Howie. “Hey, man, wake up…the doctor is here.”

It only took Howie half a second to bolt upright and greet the doctor. “How is she?” he asked eagerly.

“Why don’t you have a seat,” the docotor said. “I’m Dr. McBride. I performed most of the surgery on Ms. DeMora.”

Howie tried not to sigh too loudly, although he was becoming impatient. Why is this man beating around the bush? “How is Ivy?”

“Mr. Dorough, Ivy took a bullet to her lower abdomen and when we brought her up to surgery, she was stable. However, her internal damage was extensive and near the end of the surgery, she crashed. We worked on her for more than an hour and we used all of our capabilites. I’m sorry Mr. Dorough, Ms. DeMora died.”

Howie looked at Dr. McBride and tried to absorb the news he’d just been given. They used all of their capabilities? Ivy died? “No, there must be some mistake…she’s fine, right? You must have her mixed up with another patient,” he shook his head furiously, disagreeing with the doctor.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Dorough,” Dr. McBride apologized, the sympathy was evident in his deep voice. “Would you like to see her?”

“She’s not dead damn it!” Howie screamed and dashed from his spot on the awful couch. “You go in there and save her!”

Dr. McBride just apologized again. “If you would like to see her, have a nurse find me. I’ll leave you alone.”

Howie turned to Nick and frantically searched the young face before his own. “Tell me it’s not true, Nicky. Please tell me, she’s not really dead,” the tears were streaming down his tan face as he grabbed Nick’s shirt and shook him. “It can’t be real…it’s a bad dream that I just can’t wake up from…that’s it.”

“Howie, man,” Nick said, the tears were now flowing from his own eyes. “I’m sorry.” Taking Howie into a tight hug, Nick let him dissolve into tears. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he just kept doing what he was doing now. He held Howie in his embrace. It was the only thing he could do.

It was as though time had stopped; like he was frozen in a nightmare he couldn’t get out of. He could see and hear the doctor, but he didn’t understand what was going on. How could something like this have happened? He looked around, still in a daze, at the sterile operating room. It was cold and barbaric looking. So much so that he could hardly stand it.

“I’ll leave you alone now, Mr. Dorough,” Dr. McBride said before quietly exiting the lonely operating room.

Howie stood stock still for a few minutes before he could bring himself to go over to Ivy. When he finally did, he couldn’t keep the sobs that racked his entire body; shaking him violently as all sorts of emotions coursed through his veins. Looking down at her peaceful expression, he reached out his hand and carefully touched her face. Brushing a few soft curls away from Ivy’s face, he noticed how she resembled a porcelain doll; beautiful and serene looking. “Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered, unable to keep the tears that had welled up in his eyes from spilling onto his cheeks.

Pulling a stool over to her bedside, Howie draped his right arm over her still body and closed his eyes. He wished that this was just all a bad dream that was going to end any minute, but he knew better. Taking a deep breath, he put his head on her chest. He couldn’t keep from letting his feelings out anymore and he just cried. Here he was on Christmas Eve, probably morning by now, and he’d lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. He felt like he was left with nothing at all.

---

Brian walked through the emergency entrance of the hospital and couldn’t help but cringe a little. The smell, if nothing else, always got to him. Looking around, he made his way over to the nurse sitting at the registration desk. “Ma’am?”

“You’ll need to see the triage nurse before registering,” she said without looking at him.

“Uh, no, I don’t need to be seen, I’m actually looking for someone,” he replied and hoped she would be more helpful. “Howie Dorough and Ivy DeMora?”

Turning to Brian, the woman gave him a skeptical look. “Do I look like a receptionist?”

“Look, I know it’s Christmas, but I have a friend that has been in an accident and I would appreciate it if you would get your head out of your ass and help me out just a little,” Brian was surprised by his own voice.

Eyes wide, the woman simply nodded and began to type something into her computer.

Hmm…I need to be more assertive, Brian thought with a small smile.

“6th floor,” she answered and pressed a button that would allow him through the doors to the emergency room.

Soon, he was walking down a long corridor going toward the elevators when he spotted Nick coming from the snack area, a Mountain Dew in his hands. “Nick, man am I glad to see you!”

“Hey,” Nick greeted unenthusiastically.

“What happened?”

Nick sighed and looked down at his shoes. How was he supposed to tell him what happened? “Howie and Ivy were shot tonight.”

“What?!” Brian cried, as fear shot through his body. “How are they?”

“Howie was hit in the shoulder and he’s okay, but Ivy was pretty bad…”

Brian could feel a heavy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach when Nick trailed off. He knew before Nick said anything. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” When Nick nodded, Brian leaned himself against the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Damn it…who else knows? Please tell me the press doesn’t know…I didn’t see any camera crews or fans, but you never know. And that’s not something Howie needs right now.”

“No, I don’t think anyone knows just yet. I didn’t tell anyone over the phone,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “AJ’s on his way. And I couldn’t get a hold of Kevin. I dunno his new number.”

“Where’s Howie?” Brian asked, concerned etched on his face.

“He’s with Ivy. Follow me.”

---

“Hey, Bean, we’re almost there,” AJ said, reaching over and pushing Bianca’s hair away from her face, causing her to open her eyes. It was nearly 3 am and they were driving from the airport to the hospital. They had managed to get an 11 pm flight to Orlando and they were now driving to Pierson.

“How much further?” her voice was thick with sleep.

“About ten minutes,” he said and took her hand in his. “You okay?”

Sitting up, she nodded and tired to get herself oriented. “Yeah, just really worried. I dunno…I just have this really horrible feeling that something is wrong.”

“You go that, too?” he asked.

“I dunno what it is, but I have this really unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

“Well, we’ll find out soon. Maybe it’s just worrying too much and everything is fine,” AJ offered a smile and squeezed her hand. After a few minutes, he broke the silence that had fallen between them. “Hey look…we’re in Pierson…Fern capital of the world? Okay…I never knew there was a fern capital of the world.”

“Me either,” Bianca said and looked at the sign. Sure enough is was welcoming visitors to the fern capital of the world. “Hmmm…it’s the hometown of Chipper Jones…at least we know one good thing came out of this town,” she grinned.

Rolling his eyes, AJ groaned. “I think we have to go a few miles on the other side of this town before we get to the hospital, but I’m not sure. If it comes to it we’ll stop and ask for directions. I just wanna see Howie and Ivy as soon as possible.”

Gripping his hand, Bianca looked at him with desperation. “Do you think it’s bad?”

“Yeah,” he said sadly. “I do. I dunno why, but I have this nagging feeling like it’s even worse than Nick made it sound. There’s more to it than he let on.”

Turning to look out the window, Bianca saw that it had begun to rain and she couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling inside of her. She shivered despite the heat flowing from the vents on the dash. She knew whatever they were going to find out would not be good.

---

Howie looked out over the dark town and couldn’t help but feel jealous of all the families that were sound asleep in their homes awaiting the morning. He was standing on the roof of the hospital, in the rain reliving the past few hours of his life. He didn’t know what to do; he felt lost. Contacting Ivy’s family would be a problem because he didn’t know anyone she was related to. She had never really talked about any relatives besides a brief mention of her mother when she was growing up. “God…why did this happen?” he whispered, looking toward to cloud covered sky.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Brian’s voice startled Howie.

Turning to look at his fellow band mate, Howie shrugged. “This isn’t the way I thought I’d be spending my Christmas, that’s for sure.”

With no hesitation, Brian engulfed Howie in a hug causing both mean to be swept over by emotion. “What happened, man?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now, Brian. Please…” Howie’s voice cracked with emotion. He had sworn to Andrew and Daniel that he wouldn’t tell the police it had been them, but that was before Ivy was killed. It was their fault she was dead; he couldn’t just let them get away with it. But if you turn them in, they’ll come after you, he thought to himself. He knew that’s exactly what would happen. No one else had been around to hear what happened and they would track him down just like they tracked Ivy down.

“That’s fine, man,” Brian nodded in understanding. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Howie shook his head and turned back to look out over the small town. “No, I’m okay. Under the circumstances anyway.”

Brian turned to look at Nick who seemed to mirror the helpless expression he was wearing. He started to say something when Howie interrupted him.

“If you two don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a little while,” his voice was trembling and he could feel the tears threatening to once again break free.

“Do you think that’s such a good idea, D?” Nick spoke for the first time

He gave a short nod. “Yeah, actually, I do. I just need some time to think.”

Brian nodded to Nick and motioned toward the door. “If you need us, we’ll be in the waiting room on the 6th floor, okay?”

They watched as he gave another short nod and his shoulder began to shake as he let his emotions come pouring out into the cool, rainy night. Neither of them wanted to leave their friend alone to suffer, but they honored his request and headed for the waiting room.

---

Bianca and AJ sat in the waiting room, looking around at the dreary color. Letting out a sigh, Bianca looked at her watch and saw that it was nearing 4am. She was tired and beginning to feel the tale tell signs of a migraine headache. Reaching for her purse, she pulled out a prescription pill bottle and popped it open dropping a large pill into her hand.

“Headache?” AJ asked and gently brushed her hair out of her eyes. When she nodded, he handed her his bottle of water. “Do you wanna lie down?”

“No,” she said and took a sip of water to down the large horse pill. “I just wish someone would come in and tell us what the hell is going on.” She abruptly stood up and walked out of the small waiting room to the large window at the end of the hallway that was overlooking the parking lot of the hospital. AJ quickly followed her, placing his hands on her shoulder and massaging the tension away.

Closing her eyes, Bianca couldn’t help but wonder why no one had been in the waiting room. She relaxed a little and leaned back into AJ’s arms, letting him embrace her. “Where do you think they are?”

“Depends on who you’re looking for,” a new voice joined their conversation.

Bianca jerked her head around and found Brian’s amused blue eyes staring at them. “Where is everybody?”

“Howie’s on the roof and Nick had to use the little men’s room,” he answered and walked over to give her a hug. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I heard that Howie and Ivy had an accident and I came with AJ,” she answered quickly. They were her friends too, why could she be here?

“I didn’t mean it like that, Bean,” Brian explained sensing her frustration. “I didn’t know you and AJ were spending Christmas together, that’s all.”

Heaving a sigh, she looked at Brian. “That’s fine, now could you please tell us what’s going on? We’ve been worried to death and you’re not making it any better by not telling us anything.”

“Well,” Brian shifted his weight, “can we sit down?”

As soon as the three of them were seated back in the bleak waiting room, Brian clasped his hands together and began twirling his thumbs. “Howie and Ivy were shot tonight and-”

“Shot,” AJ’s voice was shrill. “What the fuck do you mean they were shot?”

Brian looked up at them and his eyes were now filled with tears. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but it was bad. Howie was hit in the shoulder, but Ivy was hit in the abdomen and it was bad…” he paused for what seemed like years. “She died in surgery.”

“What?” AJ’s voice seemed an octave higher than before.

“Oh my God,” Bianca said and let AJ wrap his arms around her tightly.

“How is D?” he asked as Bianca buried her face in his shoulder. “Is he okay?”

“He said he was, but he’s not. You can tell he’s not taking it well at all, but who would be able to deal with something like this?”

“Where is he?”

“He’s on the roof, be he said he wanted to be alone,” Brian answered and watched as AJ stood up. “I don’t think he wants to see anyone…even us, man.”

“I’ve gotta go see him, Brian. He doesn’t know I’m here and I at least wanna see how he’s doing. Is that okay with you?” AJ’s voice was filled with frustration. Looking at Bianca he ran a hand through her hair. “Do you wanna come with me?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head ‘no’. “I’m gonna stay in here…my migraine isn’t getting any better.”

“Okay, baby,” he said and pressed his lips to her forehead. He directed his attention to Brian who was looking at them curiously. “You coming?” His question was met with a nod.

Bianca reached back down for her purse and got another pill, swallowing the pill down with another gulp of water from AJ’s bottle. Placing her purse under her head, she pulled her feet onto the couch and closed her eyes. She was so tired. “I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes.”

---

Nick came out of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes furiously. He felt so drained and he’d only been at the hospital for a few hours. He made his way to the terrible waiting room thinking he would lie down on the couch for a few minutes. He stopped short in the doorway when he spotted the couch was occupied by a dark haired young woman.

“Okay, I’ll just take the chair,” he said to himself and spotted a wrinkled piece of paper on the floor by the couch. He bent down to pick up the paper and saw that the girls face was almost completely covered by her jacket. “Man, I wish I could sleep right now.”

Looking down at the paper, he couldn’t help but feel tempted to open it and take a quick peek. Besides, he could just put it back where he found it and she would never know. He took another quick glance at the sleeping girl and tried carefully to unfold the paper as quietly as possible. He breathed a sigh of relief when he got it open without being too noisy. He felt a brick in his stomach when he got a look at the hand writing; neat, cursive handwriting that gave away her feminine personality. The name at the top gave it all away…

AJ,

I really don’t know where to begin. I’ve been thinking a lot about the night before I left Orlando… We had a very special night together and I’m thankful that you’ve been here for me. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done; you will never know how much you’ve helped me get through these last few months. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be. For one thing, I would have done something that I would regret for the rest of my life…you stopped me. Even though I still lost my baby, it wasn’t because I decided I wanted to…and I’ve accepted that everything happens for a reason. I actually find myself genuinely smiling now and I feel so much better than I did two months ago. A simple “thank you” just doesn’t seem like it’s enough. But I guess it will have to do. I hope you know just how much I care for you.

All my love,
Bianca

Nick could feel the tears stinging his eyes, anger rising in his throat, choking him. He refused to cry. Looking back over at the couch, he saw that the jacket had fallen away from Bianca’s face and her eyes were fluttering letting him know she was about to wake up. Hearing AJ and Brian’s voices, he quickly stood up, shooting daggers at AJ.

“You,” he shouted and pointed a finger in AJ’s direction.

Bianca’s eyes flew open just in time to see Nick heading straight for AJ and she spotted the tattered piece of paper he was clutching tightly in his left hand. She didn’t have time to react before the scene played out before her.

“What?” AJ’s eyes widened as the tall blonde got closer.

“You slept with her? You slept with Bianca?” he cried before his right fist connected with a loud crack to AJ’s jaw. “You son of a bitch!”

AJ stumbled backwards stunned by Nick’s sudden strike. He could taste the metallic taste of blood on his lips and he touched his finger to his lip to survey the damage his young friend had done. “Nice work there, Nicky. Now, what the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, his voice low and menacing.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Brian cried, stepping between the two angry men. “Nick, what is going on?”

“Oh, I think we should ask AJ and Bianca,” he spat their names and continued to glare at AJ.

It only took Bianca a second to react, even though it felt longer. Pushing Brian out of her way, she stood between the two, staring at Nick. “What is your problem Nick?”

“My problem? Why don’t you answer your own question,” his eyes filled with hurt, but quickly flashed to anger. “Since when is it okay for you and AJ to sleep together?”

“Look,” AJ said, “What Bianca and I do is our business. And it all stopped being your business the day you two broke up, so-”

“Hey!” Brian shouted, startling the three who were still glaring at one another. “I think you all need to wait and handle this some other time. Tonight we need to be worried about Howie, so you all need to sit your asses down and shut up.” Damn, being assertive feels good!

“You’re right, Brian,” Bianca turned to look at him before abruptly turning and heading toward the elevator. The three men only stared at her retreating figure, before Nick started to go after her.

“I don’t think you need to follow her,” AJ spoke loudly.

“I don’t care what you think right now,” Nick turned back to look at AJ. “I don’t even wanna look at or talk to you right now, so why don’t you butt out of my life and keep your thoughts to yourself.”

“Yeah, I’d say you pissed him off,” Brian stated matter-of-factly as they watched Nick make a run for the elevator.

---

“Hey, man, you wanna get out of here?” AJ walked up beside Howie and looked up at the rain clouds that were rolling across the sky. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired. I’m not anything right now, J. It’s kinda funny; I feel numb all over,” his tone was even and his gaze was set on something in the distance. “I stopped feeling when the doctor told me Ivy was dead. Do you know how it feels to know that you just lost someone you’ll never see again?”

AJ only shook his head, feeling extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to do or say to comfort his friend and everything he thought of seemed empty and meaningless. He had never been through something like this and he didn’t truly know what Howie must be feeling.

“I wonder if it will ever stop?” Howie mumbled quietly, still fixated on some unseen object.

“What?” AJ gave his friend a quizzical look.

“The hurt…it feels so consuming. Like it’s…like it’s taken over everything in my life and it’s gonna stay there forever,” Howie sighed as a fresh wave of tears began to sting his swollen brown eyes. He turned to AJ, with a helpless look in his eyes. “I feel like it’s smothering me and I can barely breathe. Do you think that will ever go away?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You will always feel hurt, but it won’t be as bad.”

“I feel like it should have been me that died, J. She didn’t deserve it; it wasn’t even supposed to happen,” he ran his right hand through his dark curls. “I got shot in the shoulder and I’m fine. Why in the hell did they have to shoot her at all?”

“I dunno why, D, but you know it was for a reason…maybe it saved your life.”

Howie only shrugged and turned his back toward the town below. “Maybe we should get out of here.”

AJ nodded and followed his friend, shaking his head sadly. He knew Howie was hurting and he only wished there was something he could do.

---

Nick burst from the stair well, panting heavily from having run down six flights of stairs to catch Bianca. God help me, I’m so out of shape, he thought. It felt like his lungs were on fire and his sides were aching. Looking up when he heard the ever familiar ding of the elevator door opening he saw that he had indeed beat it down to the first floor. There must have been other people getting on and off. He quickly walked over so that he was blocking the door way.

Before the door could open completely, Bianca rolled her eyes and began pressing the “Close door” button. She didn’t want to see him or talk to him, was that too hard to understand? Luckily the door closed, almost on Nick’s hand no less, and she pressed the button for the third floor—the maternity floor.

Nick watched as the elevator passed the second floor and stopped on the third. It didn’t move from the third floor and Nick could only wonder if Bianca had stopped there or maybe someone was getting on the elevator. He decided that he would take his chances looking on that floor and if he didn’t find her, he would find Brian or Howie and they would leave. What else could he do? He decided to take the elevator up instead of the stairs. When the doors slid open to reaveal the maternity floor, he had to fight to hide his surprise. Then he remembered the letter… Even though I still lost my baby, it wasn’t because I decided I wanted to…and I’ve accepted that everything happens for a reason. He almost immediately found Bianca as she stood staring into the nursery at all the newborn babies.

“Bean…” Nick whispered hoping she wouldn’t blow him off again. “Can we talk?”

“About what Nick?” she placed her hand on the cool glass and smiled despite herself. The babies were all so beautiful and they didn’t have a thing to worry about in the world. She found herself fighting back tears as she thought about the baby she could’ve had. “Do you wanna talk about how you just made an ass out of yourself or how stupid I am or what?”

Nick sighed sadly. He didn’t want to fight with her; he only wanted answers. “Bean, stop. I just wish we could sit down and talk about everything that’s happened.”

“You know what?” she turned to him, angrily wiping her eyes. “I’m sick of talking, that’s all anyone ever wants to do anymore. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone…why is that so hard for people to understand and respect?”

“I have a right to know why you left, Bianca,” Nick said the anger rising in his voice. “You owe me that much. Especially if you’re fucking AJ.”

Before he knew what happened, her hand met his cheek with a stinging force. “I don’t owe you a damn thing, Nick,” she said, her voice angry and hard. “What right did you have reading something that wasn’t even yours?”

Nick had to take a second to recover from the surprise of the slap, but as soon as he did, he looked at her and narrowed his eyes. He was sure her handprint would be on the side of his face for quite a while. “How was I supposed to know it was yours? I didn’t even know that was you on the couch because I couldn’t see your face, and I picked up that piece of paper thinking it was trash and I was going to throw it away.” So the last part was a little white lie…what would it hurt?

“Uh huh…so, it just fell open in your hands?” she crossed her arms over her chest. When he didn’t respond, she nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, Nick, we don’t need to be having this conversation now; Brian was right, we should be worried about Howie.”

“When did you start sleeping with him?” Nick wasn’t willing to let it go just yet. “Before we broke up? Is that why you left…because you were pregnant with his baby?”

Bianca’s eyes filled with tears before she could react. She almost slapped him again and she would have if a nurse had not been standing just a few feet away. How could he say something like that knowing full well how much she loved him. “I can’t believe you could even ask that question.”

“Stop being evasive, Bianca. Tell me the truth,” he spat the words at her like she was nothing. The hurt in her eyes and on her face was enough to rip open his heart, but Nick wouldn’t let that get to him. He was just as hurt as she was, maybe more, and he wasn’t going to let her get by without at least explaining everything to him.

“No, I refuse to justify that question with an answer.” I am not going to cry… She turned and started to walk off, but turned back to look at him. She searched his eyes for a minute. “How could you even ask me something like that? How could you accuse me of cheating on you?”

“How could you leave without an explanation?”

Despite her best efforts, a single tear broke free and traveled the lonely path down her cheek. She turned her head when Nick reached out to wipe it away; she didn’t think she could stay strong if he touched her or tried to comfort her. She couldn’t break down though. “Don’t answer a question with a question…if you don’t have anything else to say, I think we’re finished here.”

“Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on? Let me in…”

“It’s not that simple, Nick,” Bianca shook her head and took one last look at all the babies that were on the other side of the glass.

Nick watched as she walked past him without a second glance. She got in the elevator, keeping her eyes to the ground. Although, as soon as the doors slid closed, she broke down. She didn’t know how hard it would be to see him and she definitely didn’t know how much harder it would be to walk away again. But she did it, and she was as strong as she could be even if it wasn’t as much as she had hoped.

---

Brian was sitting in the waiting room trying his best to fight off sleep when he finally heard AJ and Howie coming from the hallway. He offered Howie an encouraging smile and stood up. “You ready?”

AJ had his arm around Howie’s shoulder and nodded to Brian. “I think we should all just find a hotel somewhere and get some rest before driving back to Orlando. I don’t think it would be real safe for us to try and drive.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Brian said and grabbed his jacket. “Where are Bianca and Nick?”

“Nick’s probably harassing Bianca. Knowing him, he followed her until she agreed to listen to him,” the hostility in AJ’s voice was noticable.

“No, everything is fine,” Bianca’s voice joined the conversation. She smiled weakly, “I just took a walk and ended up on the baby floor.”

AJ’s eyes softened and he reached out to take Bianca’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” she whispered back, fighting to keep herself composed.

“So, you haven’t seen Nick,” Brian questioned as they all entered the elevator.

“Nope,” her answer came quickly. “I don’t have a clue where he could be.” I hope they can’t tell I’m lying.

“Well, Nick’s a big boy…he can find his way to a hotel. Surely he wouldn’t be dumb enough to drive home as tired as he probably is,” AJ commented as they came to a stop on the ground floor. “I would hope he’d have enough sense to get some rest before trying to make the drive back to his home.”

“He does,” Brian answered as they made it to the parking lot.

---

Nick turned the radio on as loud as he could stand it and turned the air conditioner on wide open, despite the fact that it was December and cooler than normal. He knew that he should have stayed back in Pierson in a hotel, but all he could think about was getting home. After his talk with Bianca, he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone about anything.

All he could think about was getting back to his house and getting into his warm bed. He craved sleep. It felt like it had been days since he had been able to sleep, even though it had only been a matter of hours.

He sighed to himself when he saw a road sign. 45 miles to Tampa…why didn’t I stay in Pierson? Feeling like his eyelids were made of steel, he rolled down all four windows and let the cool air blow in with the air conditioner.

Ignoring the chill in the air and the pain in his heart, he kept driving. Telling himself that he only had little while to go before he was back home where he could sleep off his memories of Bianca. Sticking his hand in the pocket of his jacket, he felt the crumpled piece of paper. Just the thought of what that paper said was enough to break his heart and piss him off all at once. He thought for a moment about throwing it out the window and never thinking about it again, but something stopped him and it stayed in the confines of his pocket.

“What a great Christmas.”

Brian sat in his hotel room looking at the phone, debating whether or not to call Kevin this early in the morning. He hadn’t been able to sleep and knew that no one had called Kevin to let him know what was going on. He has to know what Howie is going through… Picking up the receiver, he dialed Kevin’s new number and listened to it ring before someone picked up in the middle of the third ring.

“Hello?” Brianna’s voice sounded chipper.

“Hey, Brianna,” Brian greeted unenthusiastically. “How’s it goin’?”

“Brian? Hey!” he could hear her smiling on the other end. “Everything is okay. Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, yeah, Merry Christmas,” he forced a chuckle. “Is Kevin around?”

“Yeah, he’s in the kitchen. Let me get him,” Brianna replied and placed the phone on the table.

After a minute, Brian could hear Kevin’s voice as he asked Brianna who was calling this early. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

“Hey, Kev,” Brian’s voice saddened. “I have some bad news.”

“What is it?” Kevin’s voice immediately filled with worry. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Brian paused, “Howie and Ivy were involved in a shooting last night, and Ivy didn’t make it.”

“Oh God,” Kevin said quietly. “Is Howie okay? Please tell me he’s okay…”

“Yeah, he’s fine physically. He was hit in the shoulder and they have his arm in sling. But man, he’s messed up over Ivy, obviously. Nick tried calling you last night, but he didn’t have this number and I just got around to calling.”

“It’s fine, man, I’m just glad you called and let us know,” Kevin rubbed his eyes and shook his head sadly.

“Okay, cuz…I’ll let you go, but I wanted to tell you. Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, Bri, Merry Christmas,” he said and replaced the receiver. “Damn.”

“What is it?” Brianna asked, concerned.

“Ivy and Howie were shot last night and Ivy was killed,” Kevin replied absently. He heard Brianna gasp.

“Was it a mugging or what?”

“I don’t know, Brian didn’t say. I have to go down there,” he mumbled to himself and headed upstairs to pack a small bag and call to make flight arrangements.

“You’re leaving now?” Brianna questioned as she followed him into their bedroom. Instinctively, she walked over to Kyra’s crib to check on her.

“I have to, Bree,” he said and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Howie isn’t doing that great.”

Brianna nodded sadly. She knew Howie had to be upset, but this was their first Christmas as a family and she was suddenly feeling selfish. “Do what you have to.”

“I’ll be back by tomorrow morning,” Kevin said and pulled Brianna into a loving embrace. “I promise.”

“Okay,” she gave her best smile. Tomorrow isn’t Christmas…

---

Nick stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes. He was just outside the Tampa city limits and he could not be happier. At least I can get a couple hours of sleep before everybody comes over. Looking out the window he saw that the rain clouds were beginning to disappear and he could see the first traces of the morning sun. Reaching down to the radio, he pressed the search button and it stopped on the local R&B station. Hmm…that sounds like pretty song, he thought to himself as a slow song began to drift through his speakers. After a second, he heard Aaliyah’s soft voice singing the heartbreaking lyrics.

How could the one I gave my heart to
break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me so I can understand
If you love me how could you hurt me like that
How could the one I gave my world to
throw my world away
How could the one who said I Love You
say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
break this heart of mine
tell me
How could you be so cold to me
when I gave you everything
All my love, All I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had forever
I can't understand
How could the one I shared my dreams with
take my dreams from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
bring such misery
Won't somebody tell me
somebody tell me
somebody tell me please
If you love me
How could you do that to me
tell me
How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had forever
I can't understand
How could the one I gave my heart to
break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
make me feel so sad
Won’t somebody tell me
so I can understand
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that
How could the one I gave my world to
take my world away
How could the one who said I Love You
say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
How could the one I gave my heart to
How could the one I gave my heart to
break this heart of mine
tell me*

When the song ended, Nick laughed cynically to himself. “I should record this song and send it to Bianca. That would let her know exactly how I feel.”

Getting out of his SUV, he hadn’t ever felt so happy to know that his bed was just inside. Nick unlocked the front door and saw that everyone was still asleep. It was just before 6am so they would stay in bed for at least another hour or so.

Nick dropped his keys on the table and was about to head upstairs when something on the table caught his eye. A picture.

“How many times am I gonna have to put that damn thing away?” Without thinking twice about it, Nick picked it up and flung it to the floor. Maybe they’ll get the idea…

---

Brian smiled when his cell phone began to ring. Without looking at his caller id, he answered. “Hey Jules, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Brian. I see you definitely weren’t expecting to hear from me,” Nicole said softly.

“Nicole…” Brian’s smile fell with his voice. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better,” she admitted. “What about you?”

Brian didn’t understand why she was calling. It had been months since he had heard from her and now she decided to get in touch. As many times as I called her and she blew me off…now she has the nerve to call on Christmas… “I’ve been great, actually,” he answered honestly.

“That’s good to hear,” her voice was tinged with sadness.

“Why did you wait so long to call?”

Nicole thought for a moment. She could lie and say that she had been busy or she could be honest. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. “I was scared.”

“Of what?” he asked angrily. “What makes it okay to call now?”

“Brian…I was scared of losing you to someone else, so I thought that if I pushed you away first it wouldn’t hurt as bad,” she answered quickly as she tried to fight her tears. “I miss you.”

Brian’s voice softened as did his heart. “I miss you, too. You know, you had nothing to worry about, Nikki…I love you.”

“I’m so sorry. I love you, too,” Brian could hear her voice brighten. “Can I see you? Today?”

Brian thought about it for a second. “Well, I have plans for today; my family is in Florida. What about tonight?”

“Tonight is good,” she said. “I love you, Brian.”

“Love you, too,” he smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Ending the call, he dropped onto the bed, a huge smile plastered on his face. He would have Christmas dinner with his family and Julie and after that he would meet Nicole for dinner. Probably a romantic, candle-lit dinner. Sighing to himself, he could finally feel sleep tugging at him and he thankfully gave in.

---

Bianca sat at the table in the hotel room, scribbling something on a napkin. AJ was asleep in the large bed, but after trying for more than two hours, she finally gave up. There had been nothing on television and there was no radio so she resorted to writing on whatever she could find. Napkins. That was what she found.

Now, she sat, with her feet curled under her, writing whatever popped into her mind. Song lyrics, lines from poems, her favorite quotes. Suddenly, a new song lyric entered her mind and she quickly jotted it down. Then another came and another…until she had a verse.

When I sit back and remember
How my life used to be
Having never known the blessing
Of you lying next to me
I get this empty feeling
At the center of my soul
Realizing that your love's the
Only thing that ever made me whole

Now I have the same sad feeling
Every morning when I wake
And I don't know just how many more
Days like this that I can take **

Reading back over the song verse, she sighed and placed her head in her hands. This was a song she knew she would be working on again. She jumped when she felt AJ’s hand on her shoulder.

“Whatcha writin’?” he asked quietly while trying to escape from the fog of exhaustion.

Folding the napkin up quickly, Bianca smiled. “Nothing, just doodling. I couldn’t sleep.”

Leaning down, AJ placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled. “Well, we have a flight to catch so maybe you’ll get some sleep then.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she replied absently. Though, I doubt it.


* “The One I Gave My Heart To”—Aaliyah
** Lyrics by Brianna Chambers

Bianca let out a quiet sigh as her eyes fluttered open. She could feel AJ’s hands running through her hair and he was humming along quietly to the song he was listening to. Slowly, she sat up and looked around the 1st class cabin of the airplane. “Are we almost home?”

“Yep,” AJ said as he turned off the CD player. “You were out cold.”

“I feel like I could stay that way all day,” she said absently as she looked out the window. “I wonder where we are?”

“I dunno, but we’re close,” AJ said quietly.

“Are you okay?” Bianca asked a little concerned

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he smiled.

He almost looks nervous, she thought as he looked toward the front of the plane. “Are you sure? It seems like something is bothering you.”

“Yeah, I’ve just got some stuff on my mind,” he answered with a warm smile.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Bianca squeezed his hand slightly.

“No…it’s okay,” he sounded unsure about his answer.

“Come on. Something’s bothering you and you should talk about it,” she prodded trying to think what it could be. She knew he was upset for Howie, but he wouldn’t not talk about it. “You could have stayed in Florida; I mean I would have been back tomorrow night anyway.”

“It’s not that,” his voice was soft and his brown eyes were filled with emotion. “I wanted to come back and spend Christmas day with you and your family. There’s nothing I can do in Florida because Howie won’t let anyone stay with him and my Mom knows I’m with you.”

“Well, if it’s not that, what is it?” Bianca continued to press him for information on what had him so troubled.

AJ nervously wiped his free hand on his pant leg and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I…it’s…see…”

Bianca smiled in amusement as AJ stumbled over his words; she had never seen him quite so uneasy. “Aje…seriously, what’s wrong?”

Damn it AJ, stop being a pussy, he said to himself and locked eyes with Bianca. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly and gripped her hand between both of his. “I know we’re on an airplane and this isn’t the best place in the world, but I can’t hold it inside any longer-”

“What are you talking about?” she asked with a light chuckle.

“Bean…I don’t know when or how this happened, but sometime in the last few months I fell completely in love with you.”

“Wh-what?” she seemed to choke out the word.

“I love you,” he placed on hand on the side of her face as she tried to absorb his confession.

“But…why…I mean…when…I-I don’t understand.”

AJ looked down at his hand which still had a tight grip on hers. “I told you I don’t know when or how, but I know it did happen. I wanna have you near me all the time and when you aren’t with me, I’m thinking about you or calling you. I know how you feel about Nick…and I know what you’ve been through has been hard. I never expected to feel this way about you…I just lo-”

“No, stop…” she held up her hand. “Please don’t do this to me. You can’t say that again, AJ.”

“Why not?” his brow furrowed as he stared at her.

“Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, 'cause I might do something crazy…like believe you,” Bianca answered honestly as a tear slid down her cheek.

“Sometimes you’ve gotta be crazy,” AJ replied as he placed his lips on hers for a soft kiss. “I love you.”

---

“Good morning,” Brian called as he entered Julie’s apartment.

“Hey,” Julie smiled and gave him a hug. “How’s your friend?”

“Not so good,” Brian answered sadly as he dropped a few presents down under the tree. “He’s fine physically, but his girlfriend was killed.”

“Oh, no,” Julie gasped and shook her head. “That’s so sad.”

“I know. I tried my best to get him to come back here with me, but he wouldn’t. He said he only wants to be alone, but Kevin showed up and we finally convinced Howie to fly back to Kentucky with him.”

“I can understand how he feels though. I wouldn’t want to be around a lot of people if I had just lost the love of my life, but I’m glad you talked him into going back with Kevin,” her voice softened and her expression saddened.

“Well, we were wondering when you would get here,” Jackie Littrell smiled as she came out of the small kitchen. When she caught sight of her son’s gloomy expression her face immediately fell. “What’s wrong honey?”

Brian didn’t really want to go into detail with everyone because he didn’t have all the facts. “Howie is just having a rough time right now and I’m worried about him.”

“Is everything going to be okay?”

“Eventually. He just needs time,” he smiled and held out his arms for his mother and Julie. “What can I help with?”

---

**The Next Day**

Howie stood slowly when his doorbell rang.

“Nah, man, sit back down. I’ll get it,” Kevin said as he made his way to the front door. “May I help you?”

“Yes, sir, I’m here to see Mr. Howard Dorough,” a man said flashing a badge.

“Right this way,” Kevin said politely as he led the officer to where Howie was.

“Mr. Dorough? I’m Detective Monroe; I need to ask you a few questions,” he said and extended his hand.

“Sure,” Howie said softly as he accepted the handshake. Motioning to the chair beside the sofa he said, “Have a seat.”

*An Hour Later*

“I’m very sorry for your loss, especially at Christmas. If we get any leads on who is responsible for Ms. DeMora’s murder I’ll contact you as soon as I can,” Detective Monroe said with a polite smile. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Dorough. Have a nice day.”

“Yeah,” Howie replied flatly and watched as Kevin saw him out. Detective Monroe’s words echoed in his mind… If we get any leads on who is responsible for Ms. DeMora’s murder… “God forgive me,” he whispered softly.

“Are you okay?” Kevin asked with concern as he watched Howie from the doorway.

He sighed heavily before answering. “No…I’m not looking forward to any of this. I don’t know how to get in touch with any of her family; I don’t know if Ivy even has an living family. I’ve got make the funeral arrangements and…” his voice broke.

Kevin sat down beside his friend and wrapped him in a hug. “It’s okay man…this is hard and you shouldn’t have to do it alone. You have four brothers that are here for you; all you have to do is let us know how to help.”

Howie looked at Kevin and smiled sadly and his eyes filled with tears. “Thanks, Kev…that means a lot to me.”

---

Kevin sighed in annoyance and tried his best to control his anger. He had called Brianna three times already and all he had gotten was the answering machine. He listened as the phone rang a fifth time and then the answering machine once again picked up.

“Hey, you’ve reached Kevin and Brianna. We aren’t home to take your call right now; please leave your name, number and a message and we’ll be sure to return your call,” he listened to himself and then the tone signaled him to leave his message.

“Bree…pick up the phone if you’re at home. Please stop avoiding me,” his temper was quickly flaring up. “Damn it Brianna, when you stop acting like a child would you please call me?”

He slammed the receiver down and took a deep breath before lifting it back to his ear. He had already called Brian and Nick to let them know about Ivy’s funeral arrangements; AJ was the last person on his list. He had been trying to let Brianna know about everything that was going on, but she wouldn’t answer his calls and he didn’t want to leave that message on the machine. The only information he left was that he would be home sometime in the next couple of days.

Kevin knew she was mad, and she had the right to be upset. He wasn’t happy that they didn’t get to spend Christmas together as a family, but Howie was his friend and brother and he was going to be there for him, no matter what. Brianna of all people should understand this, he thought to himself. If Bianca lost someone she would be there in no time…no matter what. I know she’ll understand…she will…

---

**Two Days Later**

Howie looked around at his band mates—his family. They were all standing around him with somber expressions and tears in their eyes; grieving along with him as the priest conducted the funeral. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to ward off the fresh tears that were pooling in his eyes. Will this ever get any easier? he asked himself.

His mind wandered to thoughts of how his life had been before a few days ago. Up until now Howie was sure life was flawless and could get no better. Apparently he had been right because just four days earlier his perfect world came crashing down around him.

“I’m not tired. I’m not anything right now, J. It’s kinda funny; I feel numb all over,” his tone was even and his gaze was set on something in the distance. “I stopped feeling when the doctor told me Ivy was dead. Do you know how it feels to know that you just lost someone you’ll never see again?”

AJ only shook his head, feeling extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to do or say to comfort his friend and everything he thought of seemed empty and meaningless. He had never been through something like this and he didn’t truly know what Howie must be feeling.

“I wonder if it will ever stop?” Howie mumbled quietly, still fixated on some unseen object.

“What?” AJ gave his friend a quizzical look.

“The hurt…it feels so consuming. Like it’s…like it’s taken over everything in my life and it’s gonna stay there forever,” Howie sighed as a fresh wave of tears began to sting his swollen brown eyes. He turned to AJ, with a helpless look in his eyes. “I feel like it’s smothering me and I can barely breathe. Do you think that will ever go away?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You will always feel hurt, but it won’t be as bad.”

“I feel like it should have been me that died, J. She didn’t deserve it; it wasn’t even supposed to happen,” he ran his right hand through his dark curls. “I got shot in the shoulder and I’m fine. Why in the hell did they have to shoot her at all?”

“I dunno why, D, but you know it was for a reason…maybe it saved your life.”

He shook his head as his conversation with AJ ran through his mind. Maybe it saved my life? How could something that hurts so much be a life saver? he thought cynically.

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and looked around to see that the funeral had ended. Wiping his eyes, he smiled a wary smile and looked at his friends.

“You okay, man?” AJ asked and squeezed Howie’s shoulder. “Why don’t you take some time and we’ll let you have some privacy.”

Howie nodded as his tears started up again. He watched as they all walked out of the cemetery and then turned to look at grave. He knew he didn’t have long before someone would come and lower the casket into the ground; that would make it all final, but there was no way he could witness that. Walking over to the coffin and placed his had on the dark wood.

“I love you, Ivy…no matter what happens, I love you. Forgive me for not turning those bastards in…”

Kissing his hand he placed it back on the coffin and took a deep breath before he turned and headed in the direction his friends had already gone. This chapter of his life was over and now he had to start coping with it. He would be going back home with Kevin for a few weeks before their public life would take control again. Back to fake smiles and forced happiness… he thought darkly.

---

**Later That Night**

“Bree…honey, I’m home,” Kevin called as he and Howie entered his Kentucky cabin. “Bree?”

Kevin dropped his bag by the doorway and listened for his fiancée. “You can just leave your stuff here for now and get it later. I know you’ve gotta be hungry,” he told Howie as they walked through the living room.

“Actually, I’m just really tired. If you point me in the direction of the guest room, I’m gonna go on up to bed,” he replied with a yawn.

“Okay, man, if you’re sure.”

“I am,” Howie nodded.

“Third door on the left,” Kevin said and gave his friend a hug. “If you need anything man, let me know, okay?”

Howie only nodded again before disappearing up the stairs.

Entering the kitchen, Kevin found Brianna at the stove. “Hey baby.”

“Kevin,” she replied coolly.

“Tell me you aren’t pissed, Bree,” he was already becoming frustrated. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Turning to face Kevin, Brianna pointed her finger at him. “No, Kevin, I’m not kidding you. How could you leave us alone for Christmas? How could you not be here for Kyra?”

“Let me set something straight with you, Bree,” Kevin was trying his best to keep his anger to a minimum, but he was losing patience quickly. “Howie is upstairs and he’s the reason I was in Florida. If you had bothered to pick up the fucking phone when I was calling, you would know why, but since you were too damn childish to listen you don’t. Ivy was murdered and Howie needed us. I did my part as his friend to be there for him and I thought you would respect that, but I was wrong.”

Brianna, not knowing how to respond, watched Kevin as he started up the stairs.

“I’m gonna check on Kyra and then I’ll go to sleep in the other guestroom,” he called and walked into the nursery. Smiling at his daughter, he lifted her from the crib and sat in the rocking chair. “Hey darlin’. I missed you,” he said quietly as he rocked his daughter. “I know you understand.” Everybody except Brianna gets it… he thought in a mixture of anger and despair. I just wish she could understand.

**Five Months Later**

“Okay, then what do you think of these?” Brianna pointed to the flower arrangements in her latest wedding magazine.

“I dunno,” Kevin shrugged. “You know it doesn’t matter to me…anything will be beautiful.”

Brianna sighed in frustration and closed the magazine. She and Kevin both decided to postpone their wedding until December. That way they would have the wedding of their dreams and the time to plan it. This was one of their spare moments to actually sit and plan the wedding and they were going at it again. It seemed as though whenever they sat down to talk they ended up fighting. It didn’t matter what they were talking about; it always ended the same way. Kevin would shrug and Brianna would get pissed.

“Don’t you care at all what this wedding is going to look like?” she asked looking into his green eyes. “You always say ‘it doesn’t matter, Bree’; would it matter to you if there was even a wedding at all?”

Kevin stared at Brianna for a moment before he answered. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you are acting like it doesn’t matter at all. This is a big deal down to the last flower arrangement and I’m sorry that you don’t care. This is our wedding and I wanted it to be perfect. Can’t you at least try? Just humor me, Kevin.”

“Damn it Brianna...you know, not everything has to be perfect. Why can’t you accept that? You know what would be perfect to me? Getting a few friends and family members with us on the beach, hell even in the back yard.”

“That’s not how our wedding is going to be.”

“Well, then you plan and I’ll agree with whatever you decide,” he said and pushed himself away from the table then stalked out of the room.

---

“Yeah, I know, but what can I do?” Brian asked his girlfriend. He and Nicole had been on and off since she called him during Christmas. Right now they were off…way off. “Nikki…listen…I can’t come visit you now. There are too many things going on.”

“You can never come visit. You can’t do anything anymore, Bri,” she huffed. “I bet if I were Julie you’d be on the next flight out.”

“That is a low blow, Nicole, and you know it. How can you keep tossing that up in my face?”

“Because you and I both know it’s the truth,” her voice was full of hostility. “Look, Brian, I’m not the only one who sees it. Why don’t you just fess up?”

“Nicole, what the hell are you talking about?” he asked and clenched his fist in frustration. “Look…Nikki…you know I love you, but I cannot keep going around in circles with you. You’re hot one minute and cold the next...you are madly in love with me and then all of a sudden you are biting my head off. It’s driving me crazy.”

“So what are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that I think we need to take a break. You are obviously not happy in this relationship for whatever reason and you’re making me unhappy,” he answered truthfully.

“Oh, I’m making you unhappy?” she scoffed into the phone. “Why not take a look at my side of it Brian? You and I never see one another and when I try to make arrangements for one of us to visit, you come up with an excuse. Every time. I have tried my damnedest to make us work, but-”

“This time you have, but what about when you walked out on me? Huh? I dropped everything and took you back when you called, or did that slip your mind? I just think it’s time for us to stop trying to make this work when it’s obvious that it’s not going to.”

“Fine,” her voice lowered.

“Okay,” he said, suddenly unsure about everything. “Well, I…uh…”

“Goodbye, Brian,” she said and hung up.

“Bye,” he said and placed the phone on the table. With a sarcastic laugh he leaned back in his chair. “That went well.”

---

“So, everyone is dying to know…are you and AJ McLean really a hot item?” the DJ smiled from behind his mic as the question hung in the air.

Bianca shifted uncomfortably and thought about her answer. Why do they always have to ask that?! “Well, AJ and I have been dating for a few months, but I would hardly call us a ‘hot item’.”

That was both true and untrue… Yes, they were dating and no, they weren’t a hot item…but they were definitely more than friends who went on the occasional date. After AJ’s confession on the plane, Bianca had thought long and hard about her options. She could have rejected him and continued on moping over Nick who had seemingly moved on with his life. Or, she could accept the love of this man who poured his heart out to her and risked everything by doing so.

“Well, that’s not the report that we’ve been getting, but if you insist…” the DJ’s grin grew wider and he winked at her.

Bianca just laughed dryly and prayed the interview would end quickly. After a few more torturous minutes of him grilling her about AJ, his time ran out and she was on her way to yet another interview. She sighed and looked at the city as they drove to their next destination. She loved her job, but she got sick of the same questions being asked over and over… And today they were all centered around the same thing… Was it just a rumor or was it true? Were AJ McLean and Bianca Parker dating?

Rubbing her tired eyes, she was startled out of her thoughts by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. “Hello?”

“Bianca, we’ve added another interview to your list today,” her publicist said cheerily.

“Great Katherine,” she mumbled.

“I know,” Bianca could practically hear her smiling from ear to ear. “After your interviews you’ve got a signing at Virgin and then you’ll be all done for the day.”

“Thank God,” she mumbled as Katherine rattled off some instructions and a few plans for the following day. “Okay, Katherine…thanks.”

When her cell phone went off again, Bianca suppressed her groan of irritation as she greeted the caller. “Katherine, is there anything else you’re gonna forget to tell me today?”

“Uh, well, maybe since I’m not Katherine,” AJ’s voice was full of amusement and she suddenly felt her mood lighten.

“Hey,” Bianca said as her voice softened.

“Now, that’s a better greeting,” he joked. “I heard your last interview…you seem to be dodging the questions about us really well.”

“I’m not trying to dodge them, but I just thought it would be nice to have our privacy a little longer. You understand, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, baby. Nobody understands privacy better than I do. Anyway, that’s not the reason I called you.”

“It’s not?” she asked, confused.

“Nope. I’m actually on my way to New York to see you,” he said softly. “You know…we can still shed some light on us without losing our privacy…”

Bianca smiled. Leave it to AJ to wanna be out in the open about it. She had to admit, it would be nice to finally be able to be together in public and not worry about rumors surfacing. She could confirm it in her next interview and then everyone would know. Even the guys. Up until now, no one knew about AJ professing his love for her and their five month relationship. “You are just dying to be in the spotlight with it, aren’t you?” she teased.

“No, it has nothing to do with being in the spotlight…I just want the world to know how much I love you,” he answered sincerely.

Bianca closed her eyes and smiled when she felt the limo come to a stop. “Okay…we can tell the world. On one condition…”

“What’s that?”

“You have to take me to dinner tonight,” she grinned to herself.

“Done,” he replied quickly. “I love you, baby.”

---

“You what?” Hayley stopped what she was doing to look at Nick, an amused expression on her face.

“Well, you know…we’ve been seeing each other for a while now and we’re pretty serious,” Nick seemed to stumble over his words. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yeah, Nick, we’re getting serious, but do you really think it’s a good idea to move in together? After just a few months?” she finished skeptically.

“Why isn’t it a good idea?” Nick said and before she knew it, he was standing in front of her. “Give me one good reason…”

“Honestly, Nick, I just don’t know if I’m ready for that yet,” she replied sitting down in the nearest chair. “I mean, I care about you a lot, but moving in together? That’s a huge step and I don’t know if either one of us is ready to move to that level yet.”

Nick sat down on the coffee table so he was directly in front of her. Taking her hands in his he sighed. “I’m sorry I just brought this up all of a sudden, but I have been thinking about it for a while now and-”

“You have?” she asked, biting her lip as she ran a hand through her short hair. “How long is a while?”

“I dunno…probably about a month or so,” she said as he gingerly ran his finger over her palm. “I understand what you’re saying and I’m not asking you to make your decision now; just give it some thought, okay?”

Leaning forward, Hayley took his face in her hands and kissed him softly on the lips. “Okay,” she whispered.

“Great,” he grinned broadly.

---

Howie finished packing his suitcase and zipped it closed before placing it in his doorway. He was on his way to New York City where he would meet the guys in two days. They would be going back into the studio to do some writing later in the week, but he wanted to go early and have time to enjoy the city.

Today marked exactly five months since Ivy had been killed. Though it was getting easier with each passing day, it still seemed so unreal and he half expected her to come in the room making everything seem like nothing could ever go wrong. He longed to hear her laugh and to see her smiling. There were still traces of her everywhere he went and he was tempted to start looking for a new place, but he just wasn’t ready to let go of her memory just yet.

Maybe getting back into the swing of things will make it a little less hard to deal with, he thought to himself as he picked up his suitcase and started for the front door. Taking one last look around, Howie did a mental survey to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything and he set his alarm. Okay, I’ve got everything…

Climbing into the waiting car, he settled into the seat and checked his watch. He would make it to the airport with just minutes to spare. Thanks to a last minute call from AJ he was now running way behind schedule and he wouldn’t even have time to dwadle in the shops like he had wanted to. He hated being rushed and suddenly he felt like it was five months ago all over again.

He had been questioned about Ivy’s murder too many times to count. He had even memorized most of the questions and could predict them before they were even asked. Of course, he understood that because they didn’t have any real proof he wasn’t in on it, they had to rule him out as a suspect. Thankfully, after a couple weeks they realized that he didn’t have a part in it and began searching elsewhere. At one point, about a month later, they thought they had some hard evidence that would lead to cracking the case, but it turned out to be nothing.

Too bad they can’t find it themselves, Howie thought bitterly. The fact that he knew who was responsible for the crime was slowly eating away at him. He just couldn’t let it go… But you know if you even give the police one clue as to who killed Ivy, Daniel will come after you he and won’t stop until you wind up buried six feet under next to Ivy, the little voice crept into his thoughts.

Getting out of the car, Howie made his way into the airport and checked his bag. After only a few minutes, he was seated on the plane and waiting to take off. He had to admit that he was happy to finally be on his way out of town. Maybe this would be a turning point for him and he was finally moving on. Maybe this trip is just what I need.

How long had she been sitting there? Too long. Grabbing her purse, Brianna stood up and began to push Kyra through the mall. After her blowup with Kevin, he left and said he didn’t know exactly when he would be back, so she left too. And she came to the only place she could think of.

“You ready to go home, sweetie?” she asked her daughter who only stared back with big green eyes. “Maybe your Daddy has cooled off a little.”

Walking past the KB Toys, Brianna decided to take a look inside just for the heck of it. She was just browsing around when she heard someone approach her.

“Do you need some help finding anything?”

Turning to face the helpful clerk, she found herself staring into a pair of brilliant blue eyes. “Uh…no thanks,” she smiled. “I’m just looking around.”

“Well, let me know if you need anything, okay?” he smiled politely.

She quickly checked his nametag before he could walk away. “Thanks, Jon.”

---

Julie glanced up from her book when her doorbell rang, wondering who it could be. She wasn’t expecting company and most of her friends were working. “Just a sec,” she called as she turned down the corner of the page she was reading and went to open the door. “Duckie, what are you doing here?”

Leaning in for a hug, Brian smiled and shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood.”

“Yeah right,” she snorted and stepped aside for him to come inside. “You had to come an awful long way to be in the neighborhood.”

“Yeah, well, so what?” he asked with a doofy grin and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

“You want something to drink?” Julie asked.

“No, I’m okay. So, you seem to be having a wild night with Nora Roberts,” he grinned again.

“Yep. I figured I would read since the only thing on TV lately is crap. I’m sick of reality shows.”

“Oh, yeah, I know what you mean,” Brian said twiddling his thumbs. “So…”

“What’s the matter Duckie?” Julie asked a little concerned by his lack of conversation. This wasn’t like him.

“Nothing…I was just wondering…” his voice trailed off. Man, what is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous?

“Yeah…” Julie raised her eyebrows.

“Well, I’m going to New York in a couple of days and I was just wondering if maybe you’d wanna come with?” he asked quickly.

“Oh, well, Duckie…I dunno,” the surprise in her voice was obvious. “I’ve got work and Mocha…I just can’t drop everything, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah…I know…it was dumb of me to think that you could,” he sputtered as his cheeks began to redden.

“Oh, no, Duckie…I really would love to go. That would be so much fun, but I know I could never get those vacation days off with such short notice. I’m really sorry I can’t go with you because I know it would be fun. I haven’t been to New York since high school.”

Brian felt better instantly. Phew…okay, so it’s not because she just doesn’t wanna be around me… “Well, I’ll have to take you sometime when you get the days off.”

“That would be awesome!” she said with a broad grin and a twinkle of excitement in her eyes.

---

“Hey, yo, D!” AJ greeted as Howie exited the plane. “How’s it goin’?”

“Not too bad,” Howie smiled genuinely, glad to see his friend. “What’s up man? You look rushed?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” AJ chuckled. “I need your help with something man.”

“Sure,” Howie nodded. “Anything.”

“Can you pick Bianca up from the Virgin Mega Store for me? She’s got a quick signing to do so you’ll probably have to wait.”

“Yeah, no problem. Can I ask why?”

“I’ve got something I have to do. And make sure you have the radio on this station,” AJ said and crammed a slip of paper and his keys into Howie’s hand. “Man, I owe you BIG time!”

Howie watched in amusement as AJ hailed a cab and disappeared inside. “Okay, Miss Parker…time to get you then.”

Changing the radio to the station AJ had scrawled sloppily onto the piece of paper, Howie listened as the song ended and the DJ greeted her loyal listeners.

“Okay people, we’re here with Bianca Parker talking about her new tour and a few other things,” the woman said laughing slightly. “So, Bianca…first and foremost, I’ve gotta put these rumors to rest…” Howie heard Bianca chuckle before the DJ continued. “Are you and Mr. AJ McLean the hottest couple in the music world?”

“Well, I know I’ve been saying the same thing all day, but I had a little talk with AJ before I came here. We both agreed that it won’t be a secret much longer, so to kill all these rumors. Yes, we are dating.”

“Well, that is good to hear…I was sick of hearing the ‘we’re just friends’ bit,” the DJ joked. “No, seriously…I think it’s great and congrats. So, what big plans do you have in store for this summer?”

Howie smiled as the interview continued on. He knew it would only be a matter of time before AJ and Bianca fessed up to what the whole world already suspected. “Maybe this trip is gonna be a good one after all.”

---

“Howie! What are you doing here?” Bianca cried and threw her arms tightly around his neck. “You look great!”

“Well, thank you…I have to say, you don’t look so bad yourself,” he grinned, a sincere grin. “AJ met me and asked me to pick you up. He said he had some stuff to do.”

“Oh,” she sounded disappointed. “Not that I don’t love you, but I was looking forward to hearing what he had to say about my last interview.”

“I think he’d be proud…you handled it well.”

His wink made her laugh. “So you heard?”

“Every word. Congratulations, by the way,” he said.

“Thanks,” she blushed a little. “I’m glad AJ wanted me to tell them the truth. It feels good to know that we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“Okay, Miss Parker,” someone said coming up to her. “We’re ready to get you out there.”

Nodding, she flashed Howie a grin and followed the man.

*A Little Later*

“Okay, you ready to hit the road?” Howie asked as Bianca made her way back over to him.

“Yeah, you can just drop me off at my hotel. I’m at the Grand Hyatt.”

“All right,” he nodded and maneuvered his way through the traffic. He hated driving in New York City, but part of him didn’t mind. “So, what’s on your agenda this week?”

“Tons of stuff…more interviews on Thursday…mostly on TV though. I got most of the radio stuff done today and tomorrow I don’t have much planned. Thursday and Friday are my big days. Hey, I thought that you guys weren’t supposed to be here for another few days.”

“Oh, no, we aren’t actually scheduled to be here until Thursday, but I wanted to come early and relax a little before we hit the studio,” he answered as he pulled up to the back entrance of the hotel.

Bianca grinned as her door opened and she was greeted by Madd Dog, her personal body guard. “Well, hey there big man.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said and helped her out of the vehicle. “You know, I shouldn’t have let you leave with him cause you could’ve gotten my ass in trouble.”

“Well, you love me anyway,” she said and punched him lightly on his massive arm.

Laughing, he slung the same huge arm around her neck and gave her a noogie. “Yeah, that and the fact that AJ bribed me to let you leave with Howie.”

Bianca scowled and shoved his hands away from her head. “Hey! Don’t touch the hair!”

“Man, you’ve gotta stop hanging around AJ,” Howie laughed and got back into the car. “I’ll see you later, Bean.”

“Okay,” she smiled and went to the driver’s side of the car. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek and grinned, “Thanks for the ride.”

“Any time.”

---

Bianca looked over at Madd Dog and laughed at his business like demeanor. He was standing with his legs slightly spread facing the front of the elevator and his arms were crossed tightly across his chest. He looked like one of the President’s secret agents instead of her bodyguard. “Do you ever smile?”

“It’s not in my contract,” his voice was serious, though Bianca knew it was a joke.

“You’re a hoot, really,” she cocked an eyebrow and faced the front of the elevator. It was only a second before the silence got to be too much for her. “What do you mean, AJ bribed you to let me leave with Howie?”

Madd Dog chuckled and shrugged.

“Oh, come on…I know you know why, so why don’t you just spill it?” When she got no response from him, she just huffed. “Fine…be that way.”

Finally, the elevator stopped on her floor and she made her way to her room. Poking her tongue out at Madd Dog she stopped at her door. “You’ll be sorry for not telling me.” Opening her door, she walked into the large suite and dropped her things on the table, noticing a white envelope with her name scribbled across the front. Lifting it from the table, she carefully opened it and removed the piece of paper inside.

Go to the refrigerator…

“So, I’m on a scavenger hunt now?” she smirked and walked into the kitchen opening the refrigerator. Inside, there was a bottle of champagne with another slip of paper taped to the front.

Check out the coffee table…

Taking the bottle of champagne and going over to the sitting area, she saw there was a bouquet of an assortment of flowers on top. Yet another slip of paper was attached.

You’re getting close…almost finished, I swear…head on into the bedroom…

Smiling to herself, she entered the bedroom and found two champagne glasses with what she guessed was her final clue.

Bring the goodies and meet me on the balcony…

By now, Bianca couldn’t hide the smile plastered on her face. Walking onto the balcony, she saw that it was covered in rose petals and candles. And standing right in front of her, looking like a prince, was AJ. He looked like he was ready for a gala in his tux.

“I didn’t think you’d ever get here,” he grinned and pulled her close. His hands traveled down her back settling on the curve of her hip and his lips crushed against hers. “So, how is all this?”

“AJ, this is the single most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Good...” he smiled and opened the bottle of champagne. Pouring a little in each glass, he lifted his. “To us…”

“I’ll drink to that,” she smiled and took a sip.

Suddenly, AJ took the glass out of her hand and guided her to the chair on the other side of the balcony. “Have a seat.” Bianca obeyed and watched with curious eyes as AJ pulled the other chair over and sat in front of her.

“I’m really glad we’re ‘official’,” he smiled as he traced her palm with his finger. “It really takes a lot off my mind. And I just thought we should celebrate tonight.”

Bianca smiled and reached out a hand to cup his face. “This is all too much.”

“Well, there’s something else that’s been on my mind.”

“What?”

Before Bianca knew what was happening, AJ had slipped off his chair onto one knee and pulled a black velvet box out of his jacket pocket. As the reality of the situation began to sink in, her eyes widened and her breathing quickened. Her heart began to hammer wildly in her chest and her throat suddenly became very dry.

“We’ve known each other now for a while…and I know that we haven’t always gotten along, but you have to admit, there’s always been something between us. I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t and I’m glad of that. I do know one thing…you have changed my life more than I ever though possible. In the last five months I have realized how good it feels to truly love someone and I wanna spend the rest of my life waking up to that. I want to wake up every morning and see you smiling back at me…I wanna make love to you every night and know that this is how it will be forever,” he said, tears shining in his eyes. Looking down only to open the box, he held it up so Bianca could see. “Will you make me the happiest man on earth and say you’ll be my wife?”

Bianca stared at AJ with wide eyes as he removed the large diamond ring from the confines of its box. It was so incredibly stunning… words couldn't begin to describe its beauty. She watched silently as he slid the ring onto her finger; she could feel her hand shaking as he pushed it into place. Then slowly, she lifted her hand to admire the ring now adorning her finger.

There was a large, oval shaped center diamond with two pear shaped side stones set in platinum. She carefully slid the ring around on her finger as she admired how it seemed to sparkle even in the candle light. Oh my God… she thought suddenly as the realization of the situation hit her.

AJ swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to read Bianca’s expression. She was looking at the diamond and hadn’t given him an answer; he was beginning to worry now. He was about to say something when she finally spoke.

“AJ,” her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible and he thought he had never loved his name so much. “I…I…”

Taking her hands in his, he smiled. “You know, I can’t stay down here forever.”

Bianca smiled and tried her hardest not to cry, but all of this was just too much. “I really don’t know what to say…”

“Well, for starters you could accept and say yes.”

“Oh, God!” she exclaimed when she realized he was waiting on her answer. His words ran through her mind once more.

We’ve known each other now for a while…and I know that we haven’t always gotten along, but you have to admit, there’s always been something between us. I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t and I’m glad of that. I do know one thing…you have changed my life more than I ever though possible. In the last five months I have realized how good it feels to truly love someone and I wanna spend the rest of my life waking up to that. I want to wake up every morning and see you smiling back at me…I wanna make love to you every night and know that this is how it will be forever,” he said, tears shining in his eyes. Looking down only to open the box, he held it up so Bianca could see. “Will you make me the happiest man on earth and say you’ll be my wife?

Looking into his soft brown eyes, Bianca realized how much she really loved him. She took a deep breath and looked down at the ring once more then placed her hand on the side of his face. Leaning forward, she kissed him softly on the lips. “Yes.”

---

**Two Days Later**

Kevin walked into the studio and was greeted by a smiling AJ. “What are you doing here so early?”

AJ laughed at the mock look of disbelief that washed over Kevin’s face. “What? Can’t a man just be happy to be alive and wanna get to work?”

“Sure…if he were a normal man, but we’re talking about you.”

“I resent that, Kev,” AJ feigned anger but then quickly grinned.

“Hey guys,” Brian greeted sitting down beside his cousin.

When AJ noticed the questioning glance he sighed. “Don’t start asking questions man…so what if I’m here early?”

Brian just shrugged. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” Kevin laughed.

“So, I heard you and Bianca are official,” Brian said with a Cheshire cat grin. “It’s about time, man.”

“Time for what?” Nick asked as he and Howie entered the studio.

“Oh, nothin’,” Brian said casually. “We’re just talking about how it’s weird that AJ was the first one here today.”

“Oh,” Nick said with sudden disinterest. “Okay, so let’s get this show on the road.

After a couple hours of writing and going over songs, the guys all sat down and looked over what they had done. It had been okay at first; they had been getting long great until Nick and AJ got into it. From there on, the bickering worsened and they were unable to get anything else done.

Kevin looked around at his band mates and scowled. “We did not come here to fight,” he looked at AJ then to Nick. “We’re supposed to be working. Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s awful hard to get anything done when two people are trying to kill each other.”

“Yeah, it is,” AJ nodded. “That’s why Nick needs a nap…maybe if he gets some beauty rest he won’t be so damn cranky.”

“Why don’t you just shut your damn mouth, AJ?” Nick yelled.

“Both of you shut up now!” Kevin’s voice boomed and they immediately did as they were told. “I am sick of this shit and it’s not gonna keep going on. Do you understand? Good,” he said when they both nodded. “Go get some lunch and then we’ll meet back here in an hour.”

---

“So, what’s up with you and Brianna?” AJ asked Kevin as they sat in a quaint little restaurant waiting for Bianca. “I figured she’d be here with you while we’re here.”

“Yeah, she was supposed to come, but she decided to stay home at the last minute,” Kevin took a sip of his soda and looked out the window.

“You okay, man? Things don’t seem quite right with you,” AJ stated as a waitress came to refill his glass.

“So you notice it, too, huh?”

“What do you mean?” AJ questioned and gave Kevin a quizzical glance.

“Well, she just gets mad at everything I do lately. We sit down to plan the wedding that is only six months away and nothing I say is right. Or I look at something that she likes and I just kinda shrug in agreement and she blows up. Everything I do is wrong and pisses her off.”

“That’s pretty screwed up. I thought Bree was cool about those things,” AJ mumbled.

“Yeah, well, I dunno what to do. I just wish we could sit down together for once and not fight about something.”

“Hey fellas,” Bianca’s voice suddenly entered the conversation and she leaned in to give AJ a quick kiss. Just as she was sitting down, Kevin grabbed her left hand as his jaw dropped.

“Damn!”

“What?” Bianca asked as she felt a familiar blush creep onto her cheeks. “Never seen a diamond before?”

“Not on you,” he said letting go of her hand. “When exactly did this happen because I know it wasn’t there a few weeks ago.”

“And how do you know that?”

“I’ve been keeping up with your television appearances…give me some credit,” Kevin smiled. “Seriously, though, congratulations.”

“Thanks,” AJ and Bianca both said at the same time.

“Wow…I’m surprised I haven’t heard about this on TV or the radio,” Kevin laughed and smiled as the waitress returned with their food.

“Well, you’re really the first person to find out, other than our parents,” AJ said as he split his food with Bianca. “Today is the day it all comes out though.”

“Yep,” Bianca nodded and took a bite of the club sandwich. “I have a TRL appearance today and I’m not gonna be all flashy about the ring, but I mean, I’m sure someone will see it, ya know?”

---

“Okay, are we ready to give this another try?” Kevin asked as he looked around at his four band mates. He was greeted with a chorus of yeah's and sure's. “Good…let’s actually get something done this time.”

Sitting down at the table, they all looked at one another for a few minutes eventually becoming somewhat impatient.

“I vote for another break,” Nick said gazing around at the other guys.

“What…you didn’t have a long enough lunch?” AJ asked with a skeptical expression.

“We’re not gonna get anything accomplished like this,” Howie offered quietly. “I say Nick is right. Maybe we just need a little break to kinda sort ourselves out.”

“Okay, fine. Whatever,” Kevin said, obviously displeased by their lack of enthusiasm.

Walking over to the small television on the far side of the room, AJ turned it on and began to flip through the channels to see if he could find MTV. Surfing past the guide channel, he quickly went back and waited for the listing for MTV to scroll past. When he found the channel, he promptly changed it just as the show was coming back from a commercial break.

Hearing the cheers of the many loyal fans in Time Square, the other four eventually found their way over and sat in front of the TV with AJ. They were all equally surprised when the camera zoomed in on Carson—he was a rare sight on TRL these days.

“Someone important must be on today if Carson dropped his schedule to host,” Nick mumbled.

After a few quick witted jokes, Carson grinned in the camera. “Okay guys…our next guest has been out of the spotlight for a few months, but she’s coming back bigger than ever. Let’s give a warm welcome to Bianca Parker.”

Rolling his eyes, Nick abruptly stood up and walked back across the room to the table. Sitting in front of a blank piece of paper, he ignored Brian and Howie who were staring at him.

After a quick clip of the number five video on the countdown, Carson and Bianca were back in front of the camera.

“So, you seem to be living it up these days,” Carson said as the fans began to cheer. “You’re definitely doing great on the charts. What are your big plans for the summer?”

“Well, I’m gonna be rehearsing and preparing for my tour that will start near the end of August. I’m actually gonna be heading back into the studio pretty soon to work on my second album. I’ll be busy that’s for sure,” she smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“That’s great. I know that your fans must be getting antsy waiting for the follow-up. Are we gonna be seeing anything other than singing from you? Cause rumor has it that you were in the talk for a movie deal…”

“Maybe sometime in the future, but no, sorry to disappoint you. No movies or television just yet. I wanna focus strictly on my music right now.”

“Well, are there any duets in store for you? With, oh I dunno…AJ McLean?” Carson prodded with a knowing grin.

Bianca smiled and was unable to keep herself from blushing. She covered her face with her hands and laughed lightly. “Okay, okay…you got me…”

“Hmmm…from the looks of things,” Carson motioned toward her hands, “it seems like you’ve already been working on one…”

Nick looked up from his piece of paper and glanced at the television. Bianca was still standing there, looking flushed. What are they talking about? Walking up behind the other guys, Nick tried to figure out what Carson meant.

“Well, actually,” Bianca’s voice tapered off as she fingered the ring on her left hand.

Nick watched in disbelief as he caught sight of the large diamond ring hugging her finger. A diamond…

“Looks like you’re gonna be breaking millions of hearts,” Carson said and lifted her hand to the camera. “You guys move fast…”

“Well, we’ve been seeing one another for a while now, but it’s just been out of the public because of our privacy,” her voice gave away her embarrassment. She had obviously not expected Carson to make such a big deal of the ring she was wearing. “It’s not that we were trying to hide it…we just knew that once the news got out our private life would be virtually non-existent. But I’m very happy.”

“Hey, I think it’s great,” Carson grinned and gave Bianca a hug. “Send AJ my regards.”

Walking to the TV, Nick turned it off and looked at the guys. Brian and Howie seemed quite surprised by the fact that AJ and Bianca were engaged, but Kevin didn’t seem fazed at all. And AJ…he was sitting there grinning from ear to ear.

“I think it’s time to try and get something done,” Nick mumbled.

“Oh, NOW he wants to work,” AJ mocked.

It was gonna be a long afternoon.

“Now, tell me, what was so urgent that you had to fly me to New York?” Hayley asked when Nick met her at the airport.

“I just wanted to see you,” he said sweetly and pecked her softly on the lips. “Is that such a crime?”

“No,” she smirked and watched as he picked up her bag. “I think it’s very sweet…just surprising. I wasn’t expecting a trip to New York that’s all.”

Pulling his baseball cap lower over his face, Nick bobbed and weaved through the crowded airport as Hayley tailed close behind. When they were safely inside the limo, Nick pulled the hat off and tossed it to the seat across from him. He draped his arm around Hayley’s shoulders and smiled. “I’m really glad you decided to come.”

“Well, I’m glad you invited me,” she smiled.

---

Brianna pushed Kyra through the crowded mall. Why she had come back again she didn’t know, but she did; now she was headed to KB Toys to “browse”. Entering the toy store, she didn’t see anyone of interest to her so she made her way down one of the aisles.

“Need help finding anything?” a voice startled her.

“Oh, well, I’m just looking,” she said and turned around to find Jon smiling. Blushing slightly she smiled.

“You certainly love to buy your daughter new toys,” he joked as her cheeks continued to fill with color. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you aren’t even here for the toys.”

“Oh, well…I uh…” she stammered.

Jon just laughed and interrupted her. “You know, my break is in like ten minutes. Would you like to get some coffee with me?”

Brianna didn’t have time to think about his request before she was answering. “I would love to.”

---

Kevin replaced the telephone to its cradle and sighed. Brianna wasn’t home again. He called her cell phone but she had either left it at home or had the tones on silent. He decided to try her cell one more time and if he didn’t get an answer, he would call her at home later tonight. Dialing the number, he waited as it rang. He was just about to hang up when he heard her answer.

“Hello?” she sounded rushed.

“This a bad time?” Kevin asked.

“No, I didn’t realize I left my phone in the car. How are you, baby?”

“Well, I’m okay, but you know, I couldn’t find my fiancée so I was getting worried,” his tone was sarcastic. “Other than that, I’m great. We’re moving along pretty quickly and-”

“Just stop, Kevin,” Brianna snapped. “Did you just call to mock me?”

“No, Brianna, I did not call just to mock you. I actually called to see if you would like to fly to New York. I think it would be nice to have my family here with me.”

“I-I can’t.”

“You can’t?” he asked more than a little surprised. “And may I ask why?”

Brianna rolled her eyes. “I just have too much to get done here, Kev. I really don’t want to have to take Kyra on a plane, and you know I don’t like flying anyway.”

“Oh,” he didn’t try to hide his disappointment. The fact was he was lonely and missed his family; he had hoped that maybe Brianna missed him as much, but she was apparently getting along fine. “Well, I’ve gotta go…the guys are here.”

“Okay, love you.”

“Yeah,” Kevin replied and replaced the receiver. Placing his head in his hands he sighed. Something is up with her…

“Hey, Kev…you ready to go?” AJ called from the doorway.

“Yeah, just give me a sec.”

“All right man, the rest of us will be waiting at the end of the hall,” he said and shut the door.

Straightening himself up, Kevin decided he wasn’t going to mope around. They were going out to have fun and he was determined not to spoil the night for anyone.

---

AJ looked over at Bianca and smiled to himself. She was leaning against the wall talking to her brother on her cell phone while they waited for Kevin. He was brought back to the world by a nudge to his ribcage.

“What are you smiling about?” Brian grinned.

“Look at her, Bri,” he whispered. “I bet she doesn’t even know how beautiful she is.”

“Have you told her that? See, that’s the only thing that matters…she doesn’t have to know she is, but you have to make sure to tell her,” he laughed.

“It’s just really weird to me…we hated each other a year ago,” AJ said quietly as be continued to watch Bianca. “And now, I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Bianca ended her phone call and walked up to the two men who were engrossed in conversation. “What are you two talking about?”

“This and that,” AJ smiled and snaked his arm around her waist. Motioning toward the other end of the hall he said, “There’s Kevin.”

“Nick is gonna meet us there,” Kevin said as Howie stepped into the hallway. “He called and said he’d be a few minutes late.”

“Well, then, let’s get outta here,” AJ said and led the way onto the elevator. He was ready to enjoy himself.

After a while, the five of them were entering a swanky New York club and being led directly to the VIP room. Bianca groaned and AJ gave her an odd look.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Nothing…I just detest places like this. It’s always so stuffy and you can’t just let loose and have a good time; you have to sit back and watch everyone else with some somber expression on your face as though you’re some brooding celebrity.”

“Bean…you are a celebrity,” AJ laughed.

“Sure, but I’d like to think that I’m not brooding…I mean, look at me…and look at you! You of all people should hate this place,” she retorted. “I mean, c’mon…Aje…tell me this is the kinda place you love…yeah, right.”

“Well, you’re right, but this is where they wanted to come and we’re out numbered. Besides, who will notice us in the corner?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Good point,” she grinned and took him by the collar, leading him to the table.

---

Nick entered the posh club and looked around for his friends. “There they are,” he motioned to the other side of the club.

Linking her arm through his, Hayley smiled and let him lead the way to their tables. She looked around at her surroundings and felt a little out of place. She had been seeing Nick for about five months now, but they had never been to a place like this. It wasn’t the type of setting either of them was comfortable, but this is the place Kevin instructed them to come to. “This place is nice,” she said quietly.

“Yeah,” Nick said absently.

Hayley stopped and kept her grip on Nick’s arm, stopping him as well. “What’s the matter?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing,” he smiled and draped his arm around her waist. “C’mon.”

Hayley nodded, but she had an odd feeling all of a sudden. He was acting strange and it had only started when they got to the club.

“Hey Nick,” Brian greeted his friend. Smiling at Hayley he gave her a quick hug. “Hey Red.”

Hayley laughed at her nickname. “Hey.”

Glancing around the corner of the club, Nick finally spotted Bianca and AJ. They were wrapped up in one another in the darkness of the far corner. At the moment, Bianca was laughing at something AJ had said, but her laughter stopped as she leaned in for a quick kiss.

“I think we have an audience,” AJ whispered as he kissed Bianca’s ear.

“Who?” she asked enjoying the feeling of AJ’s lips softly gliding across her skin.

“Nick. He’s standing by Kevin just staring,” he mumbled.

“You wanna dance?” Hayley interrupted Nick’s thoughts.

Quickly coming out of his thoughts, Nick turned to look at Hayley before she could see who he had been staring at. “Sure,” he smiled. A slow song suddenly replaced the fast paced song and more people filtered out onto the dance floor.

“This is nice,” Hayley said and rested her head on Nick’s shoulder. They were just about the same height so, it was easy for her to do.

“Yeah,” Nick’s voice was once again vacant sounding.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Hayley pulled away so she could look at him.

“Yeah,” his eyes met hers. Smiling, he leaned in for an unexpected, but welcome kiss. “I’m perfect.” When she placed her head back on his shoulder, Nick saw that AJ and Bianca were also making their way onto the dance floor. He was suddenly filled with jealousy as he watched the two sway seductively with one another.

“Nick…Nick?” Hayley’s voice sounded irritated. “What the hell is going on with you? I’ve been trying to get your attention for like five minutes.”

“Sorry,” he smiled as his cheeks began to burn. “What is it?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to sit down?”

“Sure.”

Hayley sighed to herself and let go of Nick’s hand. He was being weird and it was starting to get to her. Just as they were about to sit down, she spotted them. “I can’t believe this.”

“What? Are you okay?” Nick asked as he started to slide into the booth beside her. Before he could sit down, Hayley was sliding back out.

“Move,” she said roughly.

“Hayley, what’s wrong?” Nick asked alarmed by her abrupt anger.

“You know what? I just need to get out of here,” she said when she was finally out of the cramped booth.

“Well, okay, we can go back to the hotel,” he said with a nod.

“No,” she turned to him. “I need to get out of here, not us. I can’t believe I came all this way so you could make a fool of me.”

“Make a fool of you? What are you talking about?” Nick asked cautiously and followed behind her as she made her way to the exit. Before he knew it, they were outside in the warm night air. “What’s going on, Hayley?”

Spinning around, Hayley looked at him with distaste. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? Did you just fly me all the way here so you could make me look like a complete idiot?”

“What? No!” he answered quickly.

“C’mon, Nick. I’m not stupid…just tell the truth,” her voice began to rise in anger.

“I said no, Hayley,” his voice was still soft. He was trying to get her to calm down. Here they were on a sidewalk in the middle of Manhattan and people were beginning to stare.

“Nick, I will not be a rebound,” Hayley spat as she tried to hail a cab.

“What in the hell makes you think that you’re a rebound?” Nick asked, suddenly not caring who stopped to stare.

“Oh, no? Well, why is it every time you see her you go into quiet mode and you stare at her like you’ve lost your puppy?” When she didn’t get an answer, she rolled her eyes and tried again to hail a cab.

Grabbing Hayley by the shoulders, Nick pulled her away from the curb. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, Nick. Whatever,” she said as she shrugged his hands away from her. “You still aren’t over her; you’re just trying to act like it so she won’t know that.”

“That’s not true, Hayley. I would never have asked you to move in with me if you meant nothing to me.”

She rolled her eyes. “What? You weren’t ready to put a ring on my finger, so you want me to move in with you to prove that you’re over Bianca. That’s easy for anyone to do. You want me to be your little trophy. Well, guess what, Nick? I’m not into that shit, okay? You can’t just go around telling me you care and asking me to move in if you’re still pining away for Bianca. And trust me, it’s obvious. I was just too stupid to realize it before now,” she said and breathed a sigh of relief when a taxi finally stopped for her. “Look, Nick, it was fun while it lasted, but let’s face it…we can’t live in the dark forever.”

Nick watched as Hayley got into the cab and it pulled away. He didn’t say anything…he didn’t know what to say. She was right, though…they couldn’t pretend to be a happy couple if they weren’t both into the relationship. Damn it, he said to himself as he lost her cab in the sea of cars cruising along. Turning around, he watched as people passed by him without so much as a second glance. They all looked content and lost in their own little worlds. Here he was, Nick Carter, on the streets of Manhattan alone. Again. I guess I’ll just have to get used to this, he thought sadly.

“So, are you from around here?” Jon asked Brianna as they sat across from one another in the local pizza place.

“No, I’m actually from North Carolina. I just moved here around Christmas time,” she answered as she placed some pineapple in front of her daughter. “What about you? I know you’re not a Kentucky native…you sound like a Yankee.”

Jon laughed and nodded. “Guilty. I was born in Maine and moved here from California about three years ago. My father is a minister and got a job here and I stayed because I liked it so much.”

“So, you’ve done a lot of traveling,” Brianna replied before taking a sip from her glass.

“Basically. My mom and dad were missionaries when I was little and we lived in Columbia for a while,” he said with a smile.

“Do you speak Spanish?”

“Sí. Usted tiene ojos hermosos,” his grin seemed to light up his entire face.

Brianna’s eyes went wide and she smiled. “What did you just say?”

“I just said ‘Yes, I speak Spanish fluently.’ No biggie,” his grinned widened.

“Really?” she asked and glanced at Kyra to make sure she was eating.

“Actually, no,” his voice softened and he reached across the table for Brianna’s hand. “I told you that you have beautiful eyes.”

Brianna smiled and felt her cheeks redden. Slipping her hand from Jon’s she smiled again but was a little relieved when their waitress arrived to take their order.

---

“Hey sweet thang, you wanna dance?”

Bianca turned around fully prepared to blow off some asshole. As soon as she caught sight of the “asshole” she broke into a huge smile. “You’re such a dork, Brian.”

“Yeah, well, I’m good like that,” he grinned broadly.

“And you look like the Cheshire Cat when you grin like that,” she laughed and let him lead her onto the dance floor.

“Hey, I always thought the Cheshire Cat was cute,” Brian protested with a pout.

“I never said it wasn’t cute…I was just stating a simple fact.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes before either of them said anything else.

“So,” they both started at the same time.

Brian laughed, “You go ahead.”

“Well, I was just gonna ask how things are with Nicole,” she said.

“Oh, well, I broke it off. Things just weren’t going well with us and it was pointless to me,” he said with a sad shrug.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Bri…I didn’t realize,” Bianca felt terrible.

“No, no, it’s okay. You didn’t know. Honestly, I haven’t really talked about it with anyone,” he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Well, what about your friend? Isn’t her name Julie?” Bianca prodded a little.

Brian smiled. “Yeah...Julie. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I see,” Bianca grinned. “Judging from your goofy grin, it is hard to believe that, but okay.”

---

AJ, Kevin, and Howie all sat across the club watching everyone dance. They laughed when they saw Brian dramatically dip Bianca, causing a few people nearby to stare at them.

“So, man, what’s going on with you and Bree?” Howie asked when their laughing grew quiet.

“I wish I knew,” he answered flatly. “She’s acting strange and when I asked her to come to New York, she made up some excuse to stay back in Kentucky. I just really don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“Maybe she just doesn’t want to come to New York,” AJ offered in defense for Brianna.

“Yeah, maybe,” Kevin replied, unconvinced. Wanting desperately to change the subject he looked at the two men and smiled. “How are you doing, Howie?”

“One day at a time,” came his simple reply. “I still have a hard time some days, but it’s getting easier.”

The two men nodded and AJ looked at Howie with a sly smile. “Hey, D, there’s a lady over there eyeing you.”

Howie looked up from his glass and followed AJ’s gaze across the crowded room. Sure enough, there was a woman staring in his direction. She was quite attractive with long, straight black hair hanging down the middle of her back and almond shaped brown eyes. She looks like a slightly taller Lucy Liu, he thought to himself. He gave a polite smile when she smiled at him. “Yeah, so?”

“So, why don’t you go over and ask her to dance?” Kevin spoke up and AJ nodded his agreement.

“Nah,” Howie said quietly and turned his gaze to the table.

“Why not?” AJ asked

“I just wouldn’t feel right about it.”

“D, it would be one dance. We’re not tellin’ ya to go over there and ask her to marry you,” AJ reasoned with his friend.

“AJ’s right, Howie. Just dance and enjoy yourself instead of sitting here bored out of your mind.”

Howie looked at Kevin and AJ for a second before turning to look at the beauty across the room. She was still smiling at him. “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to dance.”

---

Nick stood staring at the passing cars for a few minutes before he turned and walked back into the Manhattan club. The music was blaring and it seemed like everyone was dancing now, but he could see Bianca dancing with AJ near where their table was located. He stood and watched them for a few minutes, wishing he was the one dancing and holding her so close. He watched as Bianca leaned in close to tell AJ something before she pushed herself through the crowd toward the bathroom.

Deciding this was his only opportunity to talk to Bianca alone, he quickly weaved through the people and followed her. To his relief, there weren’t any other people standing outside the bathrooms.

“Bean…I just need to talk,” Nick mumbled to himself as he tried to get his thoughts straight. “Can we talk? She’s not gonna want to talk…”

Suddenly, the bathroom door flew open startling Nick out of his thoughts. He was disappointed to see a short blonde headed girl come out of the bathroom instead of Bianca. She gave him the once over before heading back out into the sea of dancing people, leaving Nick to his thoughts once again. “I just want to tell you-”

The door opening interrupted Nick again and this time Bianca emerged, straightening her skirt and tank top. She was looking down to make sure her appearance was okay and didn’t see Nick come out of the corner to stand in front of her.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said quickly when she bumped into him. “I didn’t see…Nick, what are you doing?”

“Bianca, we need to talk,” Nick said pleadingly.

“We have nothing to talk about,” she stated simply and tried to brush past him, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.

Pushing her gently against the wall, he leaned in close and placed his hands on either side of her face. “Please.”

“Nick, we have nothing to talk about,” Bianca’s gaze hardened and she tried to slip out of his grasp, but he only leaned in closer making sure there was no space between their bodies.

Nick leaned down so his lips were only centimeters from hers and closed his eyes. I shouldn’t be doing this… Ignoring his mind, he closed the tiny gap between them and let his lips gently seize hers. When he felt Bianca responding to his kiss, he slowly pulled away and looked down at her.

She was braced against Nick’s body with her eyes closed. Taking a deep breath, Bianca opened her eyes and looked up into Nick’s. The pain in her eyes seemed to mirror the pain in Nick’s.

“Nick…w-we really can’t keep doing this; we need to move on with our lives,” Bianca said quietly as she tried once again to free herself from Nick.

Nick held her in place and forced her to look at him. “Damn it Bianca, why do you always walk away? Can’t you see how much you mean to me? I’m going out of my mind.”

Taking another deep breath, Bianca tried to keep the tears that were stinging her eyes from breaking free. “It’s not that simple, Nick. I…we… there are other people involved now. I care about AJ so much and he cares about me. We can’t just-”

Nick shook his head and placed his finger delicately on Bianca’s lips. “Bianca, I was born to love you, and I always will. Every time I have to watch you walk away, I can feel my heart shatter a little more. And you still love me, too. I can see it…your eyes give you away.”

AJ, becoming bored, walked over to the bar and asked the bartender for a coke. As he waited he looked around to see if Bianca had come back from the bathroom. She had been gone longer than she should have to only have been going to the bathroom. He mumbled thank you to the bartender and made his way back over to the table where Kevin was seated.

“Have you seen Bianca?” he asked and sat down across from Kevin.

“No. I thought you stole her away from Brian to dance?”

“Yeah, I did, but she had to go to the ladies’ room and she never came back.”

“Maybe she fell in,” Kevin mumbled with a shrug. “You know how women are, man. They have to spend more than two minutes in the bathroom. Imagine if she had a pack of her girlfriends to go with her…they could be in there for days.”

They both shuddered jokingly.

“Women kill me sometimes,” AJ laughed. He and Kevin became quiet again as they listened to the music, but AJ soon became restless. “She’s been gone too long…I’m gonna go check on her.”

“Okay,” Kevin nodded, fully understanding AJ’s worry.

AJ walked to the edge of the dance floor and quickly scanned the crowd for Bianca. He wanted to make sure Brian or Howie weren’t dancing with her before he went to check the ladies’ room. When he was sure there was no sign of her, he turned and headed for the bathrooms. As he neared the bathroom, he could see two figures standing against the wall. They were standing close and engaged in a fiery liplock. Looking closely at the pair, AJ lost all patience and grabbed the guy’s arm, jerking him away from his friend.

“What the hell?” Nick cried angrily as he turned to look at AJ. “What is your problem?”

“You are,” AJ’s voice was low and angry. He turned his cold glare to Bianca who just looked at the floor. “What the fuck is going on?”

“We were talking,” Nick said as he tried to control his temper. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“That sure as hell didn’t look like talking to me. Unless there’s a new way to communicate like that,” AJ turned his attention back to Bianca. He didn’t care about what Nick had to say; he wanted the answers from her. His tone softened slightly as he looked at her, “What’s going on?”

She was crying now but she still did not look up at him. “N-nothing.”

“Don’t!” AJ yelled and hit the wall causing her to jump. “Don’t fucking lie to me!”

Seeing AJ’s reaction, Nick grabbed his shoulder and jerked him away from Bianca sending him crashing into the wall. He put his finger on AJ’s chest and narrowed his eyes. “You need to calm down before you talk to her. If you wanna act like that, you talk to me when you do it.”

“Get your hands off me, Nick,” AJ said without attempting to control the anger bubbling inside.

Bianca wiped her eyes furiously and began to walk away. She wanted out of the stifling situation so she could think. It was all becoming too much for her to handle at once.

“No,” AJ said and shoved Nick out of his way and to the floor. Grabbing Bianca’s arm, he turned her to face him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“AJ, stop it,” she hissed as he roughly brought her back to him and forced her to look at him. Through all the roughness and anger, she could still see the hurt in his chocolate eyes. “We don’t need to be talking about this right now.”

“The hell we don’t. I think-” he was interrupted by Nick grabbing him and throwing him back against the wall.

“Wrong choice, Nicky,” he sneered and punched Nick in the jaw. He got a few more quick jabs in and sent Nick out into the crowd of people. “You aren’t the center of the universe. Just because you don’t have what you want you have to make others miserable. Well, pat yourself on the back, Nickolas. You’ve succeeded. Let’s all give him a nice round of applause.”

The shocked dancers all stood awkwardly not knowing how to react. AJ was standing over Nick, clapping furiously.

“Are you happy now? You have the attention of everyone here; anything you wanna say?”

“Fuck you,” Nick said hatefully as he wiped the blood flowing from his nose.

A security guard came up and swiftly grabbed AJ by the arm. “I’m sorry, Mr. McLean, but I’m gonna have to escort you out now.”

“Fine by me,” he tried to sound nonchalant.

Bianca swallowed hard as she absorbed the situation. Oh my god…what have I done? Gathering her senses, she quickly followed the security guard who still had a tight hold on AJ. She watched as the guard released AJ’s arm as soon as they were outside the club and AJ turned and said something to the large man beside him. The guard nodded and reached in his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

“Thanks, man,” AJ took a cigarette and the lighter. After lighting it, he handed it back to its owner and turned to look out at the passing traffic.

Bianca stood waiting for the security guard to leave before making her way over to AJ. “Aje…” she spoke softly as she gently touched his arm.

AJ stiffened up and shrugged her hand away. “What do you want?”

She cringed at the hate seeping from his voice and placed her hand back on his arm. “I want to talk to you.”

AJ jerked her hand from his arm and threw his cigarette to the sidewalk. “Don’t touch me.”

“AJ, please,” Bianca said desperately as she began to follow him. “Talk to me.”

He quickly spun around and looked at her, brown eyes meeting blue. “What is there to talk about? I poured my soul out to you and you shoved that in my face. I would’ve done anything for you and you took advantage of that. I loved you with everything I have, and you walked all over me like I was nothing. Well, guess what? I think that’s fucked up.”

“AJ, no, it’s not like that.”

“Bianca, you are obviously not over Nick. I can see it now and I don’t know why I didn’t see it before; I should never have told myself you could love me as much as I love you.”

Swallowing back the tears that were well on their way, Bianca placed her hands on his face and shook her head. “No, that’s not true. I love you so much and I want to be your wife. Yes, Nick has a place in my heart, but my heart is yours. Can’t you see that?”

“No, Bianca, I can’t,” he said and roughly pushed her hands away from his face. “You might love me, but Nick is who you want to be with. I was just a temporary fill in and I’m not gonna let you or Nick walk all over my any more. If you want to be with him then don’t let me stop you.”

“AJ, wait, that’s not true.”

“No, Bean, just stop! Okay? STOP! I’m done with this shit. You are not gonna have another chance to do this to me. I’m walking away before you can because I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s not fair to you, and most of all, it’s not fair to me. I’ll go get my stuff from the hotel and be on the next flight out so don’t worry about a thing.”

Bianca stood in the warm Manhattan night with tears streaming down her cheeks as AJ walked away. She had never been more confused in her life. Loosing him in the crowd of people she whispered, “I love you, AJ.”

---

“Man, are you okay?” someone asked as the helped Nick up off the floor.

“Get your hands off me,” he cried angrily as he stood up. He had never been more furious and humiliated in his entire life and he had AJ to thank for it all. He pushed his way through the large crowd that had formed to watch as AJ embarrassed him, ignoring the stares and whispers from the onlookers. “Move.”

“I think we need to get you back to the hotel,” Brian suddenly appeared beside Nick with a damp towel. “Here, use this for your nose.”

Nick cringed a little when he placed the towel on his face, but ignored it. He looked around for a minute before turning back to look at Brian. “Where’s Bean?”

“I dunno man, I was too busy getting that for you to see where she went,” Brian answered.

“I think she may be outside,” Kevin said from behind the two men.

“Okay,” Nick nodded and started for the exit.

“Do you really think you should try and talk to her now? I mean, what if AJ’s still outside?”

“Fuck AJ,” he stated simply and continued for the door.

Once outside in the humid night air, Nick looked around for Bianca. He finally spotted her leaning against the wall a few feet away and he was glad to see that AJ wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“Bean, are you okay?”

Looking up, she quickly wiped her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Nick sighed quietly and stood in front of Bianca, tilting her chin up so she was looking at him. The tears shining in her eyes broke his heart and he gently brushed one away as it slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” his voice came out a choked whisper. “I really am, but Bean, I meant what I said in there.”

“Nick,” she said quietly, not really sure if she wanted to get into that right then and there.

“Please don’t do that,” he said softly and cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t know how I went this long without you; I’ve been miserable.”

Leaning into his embrace, Bianca took a deep breath. “Nicky, I just wanna go home right now and talk later.”

Nick wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her soft scent. He placed a delicate kiss on her forehead and nodded. “Okay.”

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you

Nick padded back and forth in front of the door leading to the bedroom of his suite. On the other side, he could hear Bianca sobbing quietly; every sob sent a pang of jealousy coursing through his veins. He knew that those tears were not being shed over him. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his hand and knocked softly on the door and waited for a minute before trying the door knob. He couldn’t very well pace back and forth in front of the door all night.

“Bean…”

Bianca sucked in a breath and quickly rolled over on the bed so her back was to Nick. “I really don’t feel like talking right now, Nick,” her voice was thick with tears. She closed her eyes when she felt the edge of the bed sink under Nick’s weight. His hand on her hip caused her to suck in a quick breath. “Really, Nick, I just don’t feel up to it right now.”

“Bianca, please don’t do this to me right now,” his voice cracked with emotion as he began to plead with her. “I know that tonight has not been great, but-”

Bianca startled Nick as she quickly flew into a sitting position and looked at him. “Hasn’t been that great? Are you kidding me?”

“Bean, that’s not what I mean. I know that you are upset, but I think it would be good to talk about it.”

“Well, I don’t think it would be good to talk about it now. I’m very capable of saying something I will regret later,” she answered truthfully as she lay back on the bed. She sighed in annoyance when she felt his gaze burning into her. “You aren’t gonna let this go are you?”

“No,” he said defiantly. “I am shooting for the explanation that I know you owe me.”

That sent Bianca on overload. “Nick, who the hell do you think you are? What fucking right do you have telling me that I owe you an explanation after the way you acted tonight? Please explain that.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but decided against it. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant.”

“Yes it was.” Nick watched as Bianca stood on unsteady legs. After regaining her balance, she headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I need a drink,” her voice was flat.

Scrambling quickly to the doorway, Nick blocked her way and shook his head. “I don’t care how much I piss you off by doing this, but you are not drinking tonight.”

Before Bianca knew what was going on, Nick had her over his shoulder and just as quickly, he tossed her onto the bed. She watched, enraged, as Nick drug a chair in front of the door and sat down in it, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Why don’t you answer your own question? What’s up with you and drinking, Bianca? You’re not even old enough to buy alcohol, but you sure do know how to drink it. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she questioned as she narrowed her eyes. When he refused to answer Bianca rolled her eyes. “You’re acting like a child Nick; you know you can’t keep me in here forever.”

“I know that, but I can keep you in here tonight. You would make this so much easier if you would just tell me what happened.”

“Well, you know exactly what happened, Nick,” she shrugged and rolled over so that her back was once again facing him.

“Don’t be a smartass, Bean. I just don’t understand how we could be so happy one day and then all of a sudden, you leave me. What did I do to you to deserve that?”

“Sometimes things just don’t work out,” she squeezed her eyes shut to try and ward off the tears that were stinging her eyes.

“It’s not that, Bianca. I know there was more to it than that.”

“Well, if you’re such a fucking genius, then why can’t you figure it out, Nick?” the bitterness in her voice stung Nick like a harsh slap in the face.

“Because I love you and I always have; and I thought that maybe, just maybe you might love me just that much too.”

Bianca took in a deep breath and held it for a minute as she listened to Nick without turning over. She heard him slowly stand and then he dragged the chair back to the other side of the room before starting out the door.

Sitting up, Bianca watched as Nick started for the living area. “Nick, wait…”

“There’s a mini bar in there; help yourself. Oh, and just see yourself out when you’re finished.”

“I do love you that much, Nick,” she was barely able to find her voice and when she did it came out broken.

Nick stopped in the doorway, his shoulders slumped and head hanging. “Don’t do that just because I made you feel terrible. I deserve a little more than that.”

“Damn it, Nick. Why are you being so complicated?”

Turning swiftly, Nick narrowed his now dull blue eyes at her. “I’m only treating you the way I’ve been treated for the last year! Why is it okay for you to treat me like shit, but when it’s dished back out to you, you pout and act like the world should stop for you? I am sick and tired of bending over backwards to show you how much I love you and having you throw it in my face. You don’t know how much it hurt to see you with someone else, but with AJ? That was the hardest thing I ever had to witness.”

And the night's
too long
and cold here
without you

“You don’t know how hard these last few months have been for me, Nick. It’s not like I wanted to end our relationship, but-”

“Then why did you? If you loved me so much that you could have stayed with me, then why did you leave?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” her voice was barely audible.

“Oh, wouldn’t I? Try me.”

“Nick, it’s-”

“No, you know what? If you’re not gonna explain or at least try to, I don’t wanna hear it,” he shook his head and started for the living area once again.

Bianca bolted from the bed and followed Nick as he breezed through the living room and out the French doors to the balcony overlooking the city. “It’s not that easy to explain, Nick.”

“Okay,” his voice was emotionless as he leaned against the railing and looked out onto the bustling nightlife of New York.

“Don’t do this, Nick.”

“Do what, Bean? It’s not like I’m thinking about jumping,” he smirked, hatefully.

“Stop being such an asshole, Nick.”

“Stop being such a selfish bitch, Bianca.”

Biting her bottom lip to keep from crying, Bianca turned to look out on the city that was unaware of their problems. “You know, you’ve changed a lot. The Nick I left would have never said something like that to me.”

“Oh, boo fucking hoo. And the Bianca that I used to know would have never left without at least trying to work out whatever problem had come up. Don’t try that guilt trip shit with me, it won’t work. See, the harsh reality is that when you left, I changed.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

Bianca watched Nick as he fumbled around in his pocket looking or something. She half expected to see him pull out a back of cigarettes; part of her was hoping maybe he’d picked up a bad habit as well. Instead, he had a small pouch.

“What’s that?” she questioned curiously.

“I bought this the week before you left me. I was planning on giving it to you after the cookout we had the day you left; I was gonna drive us to the beach and we were gonna have a small picnic and whatnot. But you left.”

“Wh-what is it?”

Wordlessly, Nick turned the tiny pouch over and emptied the contents into his palm. Bianca gasped when she caught sight of it. A diamond ring—smaller and not as flashy as the one she had been wearing just hours earlier—lay in his shaking hand. It wasn’t big and flashy, but simple and elegant; much like herself. It was a single round, solitaire diamond that was set in a thin platinum band. “See, I knew you were going to be the woman I spent the rest of my life with and I was just ready to get to that point in my life.”

“Nick…” her breath caught in her throat as she reached for the ring.

Suddenly, he clasped his hand into a fist around the small piece of jewelry. “That’s in the past, though. Right?” He smiled weakly and slipped the ring back into the pouch.

“You’ve been carrying that around since I left?” she questioned quietly.

“Call me crazy, but I had envisioned this happening much differently,” he shrugged his shoulders, but Bianca never missed the tears glistening in his eyes.

“You’re not crazy, Nick. I’m sorry for being so selfish, but I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“Bean, why couldn’t you have talked to me about whatever happened? You know how much I love you, why would you think that there would be anything you couldn’t tell me?”

“Because, Nick, I didn’t think you’d be able to handle it. I almost couldn’t handle it.”

“It couldn’t be that bad…”

Looking down at her now shaking hands, Bianca took a deep breath and pushed back her tears. “Nick, I was pregnant.”

“You were what?” he asked, his voice soft.

Sitting down in the chair beside her, Bianca sighed. “I found out I was pregnant and automatically assumed it was Eric’s baby because you and I always used protection. I didn’t think there was any possibility that it could be your baby.”

“But?” Nick felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest and his throat was dry.

“But I went to visit Eric in jail because my therapist recommended that I put it behind me and that was the only way to do it. I told him about the baby and he told me that he couldn’t have children; that was after I left and I thought it was too late to try and explain what happened. The next time I saw you was the night at the club with Hayley.”

Nick suddenly felt very lightheaded as he took in Bianca’s confession. “So, when you mentioned the baby in your letter to AJ…that was my baby?”

“Yes,” she nodded slightly.

“Oh, God,” he was unable to stop the tears that began to spill onto his cheeks.

“I was pregnant when you came to my TRL appearance, but I lost the baby shortly after. I just didn’t know how to tell you what happened; I felt like it was all my fault.”

Dropping to his knees in front of Bianca, he wrapped his arms around her legs and placed his head in her lap. “How could you ever blame yourself for that? I just wish you wouldn’t have thought that would upset me…”

Leaning over him, she wrapped him in an embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. It was her harsh reality; and yet, it suddenly didn’t seem so harsh after seeing Nick’s reaction. Maybe things weren’t as horrible as she thought. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so*


* “I Love You” by Sarah Mclachlan.

Kevin looked around his hotel room and made sure that all of his belongings were packed; he wanted to be sure he hadn’t left anything. Certain that he had not forgotten something, he slung the back over his shoulder and exited the spacious suite. Nodding to the body guard at the end of the hall, he held up his index finger to indicate that he needed another minute and knocked on his cousin’s door.

After a minute, Brian opened the door and smiled at Kevin. “Hey, cuz, what’s going on? Where are you headed?”

“I decided that I would fly back early and surprise Bree and Kyra. Hopefully I can convince Brianna to fly back with me,” he answered an uncertain shrug.

“Maybe you’ll be able to,” Brian, always the optimist, grinned. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he sighed. “Have you seen AJ or Nick?”

“No. After last night, I’m not sure if we should bother either of them just yet.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Brian mumbled and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I love Bianca, but she needs to make a decision.”

Kevin only nodded in agreement, but decided to keep his opinion to himself. “Well, I just wanted to let you know where I was going, but I should head out. I don’t wanna miss my flight.”

“Alright man,” Brian nodded and pulled Kevin into a quick embrace. “Be careful.”

Kevin smiled and nodded. “You, too. Don’t let anybody get into trouble while I’m gone.”

***

Kevin slowly stood up and stretched for a brief moment before grabbing his bag from the overhead compartment. His flight hadn’t been long, but it seemed longer than usual because he was anxious to be home with his family. His patience was wearing thin as he waited to get off the plane.

Once off the plane and in the airport, Kevin pulled his baseball cap (actually, it was Brian’s but he had forgotten his own and borrowed this one) lower over his face. He was dressed down in a pair of old denim jeans and a plain gray t-shirt, hoping he wouldn’t be recognized. He walked casually up to the car rental counter and groaned inwardly when he saw only a younger woman was not busy. I hope she’s not a fan…

“May I help you?” the woman asked with a polite smile but not one ounce of recognition.

Thankfully, Kevin was able to rent a car and get out of the airport in one piece. Glancing down at the clock in his rented SUV, he saw that it was just after 2pm. I’ll have time to go visit Dad’s grave, he thought with a pleased smile.

---

Bianca sighed to herself as she entered the lobby of the ritzy hotel she was supposed to be staying in. She was quickly met by Madd Dog and a few eager fans who had found her hotel.

“Where have you been?” Madd Dog asked, obviously annoyed.

“Have you seen AJ?” she ignored his question as she looked past him toward the elevators.

“No, I haven’t. Now can you tell me where you’ve been?”

“I was fine,” Bianca locked eyes with the man that was more than twice her size. “Just drop it, okay?”

“No, I won’t drop it.”

“You know what? You were hired to make sure I’m safe and as long as I’m okay, which I am, you have nothing to worry about, so let it go.”

Bianca brushed coolly past Madd Dog stopping only to sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures. Turning back to her angry body guard she smiled. “I’m going to pack my stuff because we’re heading back to Orlando and then out to LA.”

Once inside the privacy of her room, Bianca headed straight for the phone. She stopped when she saw a folded piece of tattered paper beside it. She knew who it was from before she even opened. Lifting the paper from beside the phone, she sat down on the sofa and carefully opened it. She skimmed over the messy handwriting for a moment before actually reading it

Bianca,

I don’t know exactly what to say to you. I meant what I said to you last night—I don’t think it’s fair that I have to come in second to Nick after what we’ve been through. So, I’m gonna ask you not to call me or contact me right now. I love you, but you can’t have both of us and I’m willing to make that sacrifice so that I don’t get hurt. Call me crazy, but I would prefer not to have my heart broken again.

-AJ

Short, sweet and to the point. There was nothing sappy and romantic to make her come crawling back to him begging to be taken back.

Bianca let out a shaky breath, but she refused to cry. Balling up the piece of paper, she stood and headed to the mini bar when Nick’s words suddenly flashed through her mind. What’s up with you and drinking, Bianca? You’re not even old enough to buy alcohol, but you sure do know how to drink it. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Sitting back down, she rolled her eyes. She did not have a problem

---

Kevin smiled to himself as he drove up to the cabin he shared with Brianna. He had been to his father’s grave and had a nice, long talk with his Dad and then he’d stopped in to have a quick visit with his Mom. Now, he was home to see his fiancée and daughter.

He quickly clambered out of the SUV, leaving his bags inside. He was too excited to see his family and decided his luggage could wait until he’d kissed Brianna and held Kyra.

“Baby, guess who’s home,” he called happily into the quiet log cabin. An eerie silence followed his greeting which he found terribly strange. “Brianna?”

Dropping his keys on a small table, Kevin quickly hit the stairs taking them two at a time. “Bree?” Still no answer.

Entering their bedroom, everything looked normal, but there was still no sign of Brianna and Kyra. His mother had told him Brianna was home; he’d asked her to check in on her from time to time and she had agreed after some persuasion.

Letting out a worried sigh, Kevin went back into the hallway and looked around. It was obvious she wasn’t home, but where could she be? There were just too many places in town to go looking for her. “I’ll wait for them in the nursery,” he said with a smile. He knew that would be one of the first places she went in the house after she got home.

Nodding to himself, Kevin went down the hall to the nursery and opened the door. The site of the room made his knees so weak, they nearly buckled beneath him. The crib, as well as the rest of the furniture, was bare; all of the toys were gone. Walking over to the dresser he opened one of the drawers and found it completely empty. Becoming frantic, he began to open each drawer, desperately hoping to find the clothing and belongs that should have been there. But each drawer was bare just like the first.

A ball of dread settled in Kevin’s stomach as he stumbled from the nursery. Heading back to his bedroom, he decided that this was all just a bad dream. Fumbling with the door to their walk-in closet, he threw it open and nearly lost all his sanity. All of Brianna’s clothing was gone.

Could this really be happening? He had just talked to Brianna over the phone the day before and even though it hadn’t been the greatest call, he never would have expected to come home and find all of her belongings gone. This had to be some sort of mistake; would she really have left without telling him or leaving a letter or something?

Leaning against the wall, he slid down to the floor and put his face in his hands as he began to sob. Just like that, his life was turned upside down. For a man who was supposed to be on top of the world, he sure felt like he had just hit rock bottom. And reality sets in…

---

Bianca sat on the sofa in her hotel room watching television. She was bored out of her mind and she wasn’t actually “watching” anything—just flipping through the countless channels. The sound of her telephone ringing brought her out of her daze.

“Hello?” she answered, uncertain as to who would be calling her.

“Bean?”

“Nick?” she was surprised to hear his voice. They had both agreed that some time away from one another to process the events of the night before would be good for them both. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” he sounded unsure of himself. “Can I come by for a little while?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said quietly. “I’ll meet you in the restaurant downstairs.”

Fifteen minutes later, Bianca was sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant waiting for Nick to come in. He had sounded worried about something and that only made her worry as well. Thankfully, she spotted him entering the sparsely crowded restaurant so she stood up to allow him to see where she was located.

“Hey,” he greeted with a weak smile.

“What’s the matter?” she asked sliding back into the booth. “You’re worrying me.”

“Well, I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking since last night…” his voice trailed off as a waitress came up.

“Can I get you two anything?”

“Could I have a glass of ice water?” Nick asked quietly.

“Sure thing, hon. Anything for you?”

“No,” Bianca shook her head and turned her gaze back to Nick.

“Look, Bean, I don’t think we need to rush back into anything yet.”

Bianca blinked once and turned her gaze away from Nick. “What?”

“Look, we’ve both changed a lot, and you obviously don’t know what you want from life right now. We’re just in two different places and I don’t think it would work out.”

“Wait a minute…you mean to tell me that after professing your love for me last night, getting in a fight with AJ and then taking me back to your hotel room, you’re not sure if we should try and work things out right now?”

“Basically.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Nick?”

“I just think we need to go our separate ways for now. You have a lot of growing up to do, Bean, and you can’t do that with someone attached to you. I had to learn that the hard way.”

Standing up, Bianca almost knocked over their waitress. Looking at the shocked woman, Bianca snatched the glass from her hand and dumped the ice water over Nick’s head.

“Get out of here you son of a bitch,” she said and stormed away angrily.

Once inside the elevator, Bianca leaned against the wall and tried to force back her tears. The tables had suddenly been turned and she didn’t want to cry over him. But as the reality of the situation set in and the elevator began to ove updward, she couldn’t help but do that very thing.

The End