Chapter One

Kevin smiled as he wiped the sweat off of his forehead, rolling himself off of the stage behind the others in his wheelchair. Screams could still be heard, almost deafening, as the lighting to the arena brightened a little, telling everyone that the show was officially over. It had been a successful show, as was expected. The fans were still amazing and as supportive as ever, despite the sudden and unexpected cancellation of the tour. Every show appeared to have every seat filled, telling the Boys that almost every fan had still shown up when they’d finally come to their city with the rescheduled show. It was phenomenal and even two months later they all still got the same thrill, as if it were the first show. It could easily be said that the past two months had been fast paced as well as exciting, doing between two and three destinations per week to avoid over-working and stressing Kevin mostly.

Once backstage, everyone celebrated with hugs and high fives, with the exception of Nick and Stephanie still keeping their distance. Despite Nick’s constant attempts to speak to her, the girl ignored him still, wanting nothing to do with him. It was safe to say that their relationship was on temporary if not permanent hiatus. Nobody knew what had happened between the once good relationship and neither would say, leaving their friends minds curious. It was obviously a sensitive subject to both, so after a few subtle attempts to get some sort of information, everyone decided to leave it alone. All they knew as that Stephanie cried late in the night when she thought nobody could hear her and Nick looked to be lost and miserable without her. Willa hadn’t been around in awhile. Everybody had guessed that she’d finally given up at digging her clutches back into her ex again. If they only knew the truth behind it all

A.J and Jaime’s engagement was still on and they were as happy as ever. They were making wedding plans slowly and were planning on marrying sometime after things calmed down a bit. They hoped for it to be in the next year. Lauren was getting bigger, growing quickly before everyone’s eyes. She was almost always happy and smiling, surrounded by two loving parents and many friends who adored her. Jaime was excited about this, feeling as if it would make things complete with A.J. and give Lauren the sense of a real family. She loved them both with all that she had in her. They were her life and what made her whole. A.J. couldn’t imagine his life without either of them in it either. Jaime gave him a happiness he’d never known before and she’d given him a daughter, a precious gift he’d never even thought about producing with anybody else. Their relationship was healthy and nearly perfect.

As for Anna and Kevin, they were also extremely happy. Anna was beginning to trust Kevin again, able to leave him alone without fear. The first few times had left her sick to her stomach with worry, which she supposed was natural. Now though, she could do it without freaking out and calling to check up on him. Anna realized that it was not healthy for their relationship for her to constantly be hoovering over his shoulder and she didn’t want to risk losing him by becoming clingy.

Kevin had Richard as his on-road physical therapist, having sessions for a couple of hours every night. He still hadn’t regained any feeling below the waist, but he seemed to be content with how things were for the time being. Anna had been nothing but supportive and loving, sticking with him through the worst of times, This told him confidently that no matter what happened, she wasn’t going anywhere.

As far as everyone knew, Brian and Howie were still single. Although it was a suspicion that Howie was secretly dating someone and had been for about three weeks. He kept sneaking off in the mornings only to do so again after shows, miraculously appearing to perform, for practices and for meetings only. He never said anything though, changing the subject quickly with a blush and goofy grin on his face when asked. Brian just kind of went with the flow of things, always relaxed. It seemed he was the only one without any stress going on in his life at all.

“I can’t believe the tour is over already,” Kevin exclaimed, still grinning, “It seems as if we just finished our first show since coming back.”

He received many nods of agreement. The new album was already complete, so in a few months time, after a small break, they planned to release it and launch a new tour. For now though, in the morning, each of them was heading home for a couple of weeks before starting dance rehearsals for a new tour and set of songs. It was safe to say that almost everything was going smoothly for the first time in a over a year.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anna breathed in a huge whiff of fresh air as she opened the front door of her home. It was her first real time back since she’d found Kevin in the closet so many months ago, and the few times she had gone home, she’d avoided the upstairs and especially the closet all together. None of that had crossed her mind though. She was just glad to be back with something familiar to her. Back with Kevin, whom was already back inside with the thanks to the permanent handicap accessible ramps that had been installed sometime during the tour. Anna had a feeling that everything was going to be fine.

Closing the door, Anna roamed the house in search to find Kevin. She did without much of a hunt sitting in his wheelchair by the large picture window out-looking the back yard and pool. Anna walked over to him, reaching down to grab his hand in hers. Kevin looked up and smiled

“It feels so great to be home,” he sighed, pulling Anna into his lap, kissing her tenderly on the mouth, “It’s like a whole foreign place to me.”


“I know how you feel,” Anna whispered softly, “It’s like we haven’t really had the chance to relax and enjoy ourselves at all...this will be the first time since...since we even got together.”

Kevin frowned, having a replay of flashbacks of their entire relationship. Every second of it had held some sort of stress factor. First she’d just wanted to be friends due to his not being over divorcing Kristin yet. He’d been insanely jealous when he’d caught Anna with another guy, leaving in a fury and ended up in a car accident. This had landed him paralyzed, shaking up everyone. Anna still refused to date him though until she knew he was finally, completely over his ex wife, and when they had finally gotten together, things had been great for a little while, excluding Anna’s near drowning a mere couple of minutes after they’d officially become a couple. The greatness hadn’t lasted long though. It had nothing to do with Anna. She’d been a wonderful, supportive girlfriend, but it didn’t change his down-falling spiral of depression. That had been something that nobody had seen coming. So towards the end, Kevin had made everybody believe that he’d had a change of attitude and was happy again, and when nobody saw it coming, he’d tried to kill himself. He’d been in a coma for months, and upon finally waking up, after getting his life somewhat back on track, decided to give touring a try again. That had been huge, because after his paralysis, he’d refused to even think about touring in that condition.

The tour had been eventful and great, but had the usual stresses of any other. In the middle of all of it, he’d had physical therapy. All of that led them to that very moment. Their first real moment of a completely stress free life as a twosome.

“I’m so sorry,” Anna apologized, repositioning herself on his lap so that she was facing him, placing one hand on the side of his face tenderly. She placed a kiss on his lips, “I didn’t mean it like that. Every moment of you has been incredible.”

Kevin smiled in appreciation of her trying to make him feel better, “Don’t worry about it,” he replied softly, “I know things haven’t exactly been...normal,” he paused for a second, “I love you, Anna.”

“I love you too, Kev.” Anna responded, looking him in the eyes as she said this so that he knew she meant it with all that she had in her, “This is the start to a great, healthy, strong relationship.”

The two sat there wrapped up in one another’s arms for a few minutes, enjoying being so close to one another. Kevin nuzzled Anna’s neck with his nose and she giggled, squirming because it tickled her slightly. She pulled away laughing, stepping out of his lap, but her laughter stopped when she saw the hurt, confused look cross over Kevin’s face. It was really scary how insecure he got sometimes. Ever since she’d met him, he’d had a sense of insecurity and jealousy about him. It was sweet sometimes, but other times, she wondered the reason behind it all.

“I’ll be right back,” Anna gave him a seductive look, “I’m gonna go change in to something more comfortable.”

Kevin’s eyes immediately lit up as Anna turned and ran up the stairs and in to their bedroom. Once in the large room, she searched through her drawers, looking for just the right thing to put on for Kevin, wanting to give him the perfect welcome home gift, not finding what she was looking for. She sighed in defeat, making her way to the closet, flipping on the light to make the huge closet easer to rummage though. She started to enter, but stopped short, her breath catching in her throat. She started to shake a little as tears welled up in her eyes, memories coming back to her to that awful day where she’d seen Kevin lying in the closet, dying slowly from a gunshot wound that was intended to be fatal. The red blood from Kevin still stained the carpet in a large, spread out area. It had long since dried, but it was still there and bright, making her remember everything clearly. It made Anna realize that she hadn’t entered the closet since the incident had happened, but had forgotten why until that moment. Anna quickly stumbled backwards, unable to look at the red any longer. She’d have to remember to have the carpet cleaned or replaced there because if she didn’t, she’d always have nothing but horrible memories.

“Anna?! You coming?”

Anna broke out of her trance upon hearing Kevin’s voice. She cleared her throat, hoping that the tremor in her voice would vanish when she answered Kevin.

“Just another minute.” Anna called back.

She closed her eyes, turning off the light and swallowed, realizing for a second that she had relived the entire incident and had been afraid that Kevin really wasn’t there with her now and well. She wondered what it would be like if she’d come home, Kevin dying from the injuries from the wound. Anna shook her head, clearing herself of those thoughts. Kevin was there and alive. There was no need to think about the horrible what-if’s.

Anna noticed that she still had tears falling from her eyes. She knew she had to compose herself and not let on to Kevin that anything was wrong. How would she even begin to explain her moment of weakness? They were supposed to be starting their lives on a happy note now, erasing everything negative from their slate.

With that, she changed in to the first thing that she saw, it being nothing more than a pair of baggy gym pants and a tight fitting tank top, hoping that Kevin wouldn’t be too disappointed in her last minute selection, knowing she wouldn’t have the energy for any one-on-one special time until later that night, once her mind was cleared of her sad memories.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stephanie huffed as she drove up to what used to be her and Nick’s house. She slowed down, ready to pull in to the driveway, but when she saw his car in the open garage, she passed by, quickly deciding against it. In no way, shape or form would she get anywhere near Nick. Even though it had been a good three months since it had happened, she just couldn’t forgive and forget. She’d known that something was up with Willa, and then she’d caught them kissing in the studio. Nick had played her as a fool, telling her it was just a casual friendship, if that. She had believed him. What made the situation all the worse was she was pregnant with his child...six months pregnant now. He’d cheated on her, and there was no way she could look past that, no matter how hard he tried. And Nick had tried...very hard...to get her back. He still wouldn’t let up. He insisted that the kiss hadn’t been what it looked like. Stephanie saw what she saw though. There was no way one could mistake a kiss so intense for something else. So she’d fled, not giving him the opportunity to explain. Three months later, and things were still frigid between them on her part. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. Now that the tour was over, avoiding him would be even easier. She was even thinking of getting her number changed so he would have absolutely no way of finding her.

One problem still stood though. She needed to collect her possessions from her once gorgeous home. She’d found a cute little condo nearby that was perfect for just one to live in, and affordable on a single income. It was far enough away from Nick to ensure a run-in was not likely, but close enough to Jaime and Anna’s homes that they could visit easily whenever they felt like it. She’d put a down payment on it a month before, when she’d taken some time off from touring, knowing she’d have to find a place of her own before the tour was up so she could move in right afterwards. She was set to go, but it didn’t make the feeling of sadness that still consumed her go away. This was exactly why she’d sworn off of dating for so long, not trusting men. It only ended up getting her hurt in the end.

With a sigh, Stephanie wondered how she was going to get her things. Most of everything she owned was inside of that house. She still had a key to get inside, so that wasn’t the problem. The trick was finding a time when Nick wasn’t home. She’d go in, quickly take her clothes and a few other things she’d kept when moving her stuff there, and leave, throwing the key out so she’d never have to go anywhere near the home again. On second thought, she could always put the key up for sale on E-bay...exploiting him an his privacy. She was sure she could get a nice, generous price for it. An evil grin formed on her face, thinking of the possibilities that lied in her hands with this kind of power. Even as she thought them though, Stephanie knew she would just end up throwing it away. Selling off his key with address, phone number and all would be too mean and cruel. With all of the psychos on the internet lately, lord only knew what kind of person would end up winning and getting a hold of it and what they could do. As much as she loathed Nick at the moment, she’d never wish anything bad upon him. Well, nothing too bad, that was, meaning nothing that could harm him for a long period of time or kill him.

“This is just fucking peachy,” Stephanie muttered, looking down at her growing stomach. The thought of raising her child alone scared her, if she were to be honest. Nick had been so excited about the baby, and she had been sure that he would make an excellent father...the best, actually. And now...now he wasn’t going to be there. She’d be a single parent, taking on the challenge alone. Sure, her friends would all help her, but it wasn’t the same. In three short months, roughly only ninety days, her child would be born.

Stephanie wondered what Jaime and Anna were up to. She really wasn’t eager to spend her first day home all alone. What was the fun in that? Picking up her cell phone, she flipped through her contacts, going to Jaime. As she continued to drive slowly, her finger hoovered over the ‘send’ button for a few seconds before flipping the phone shut, deciding against the idea. Jaime was likely spending some alone time with her fiancé and Anna with Kevin. She shuddered, not even wanting to know how they were celebrating their homecoming as disturbing images entered her head.

“That is wrong on so many levels,” she muttered, wanting to gag at the picture of her friends naked in bed taking part in adult activities, “Just so wrong.”

To be truthfully honest though, Stephanie was jealous. She was insanely jealous, just wanting her Nicky back. She didn’t see how that was possible though. He’d cheated on her, there was no turning back. They were done forever, for Stephanie just couldn’t give somebody who’d done that to her a second chance. Maybe if the breakup had been under different circumstances, they would have another chance later on down the road. God, how she wished that were the case. But it wasn’t, and nothing could change that.

With a sigh, Stephanie pressed her foot a little harder on the accelerator, making her car go faster, turning to go to her own condo. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to have to spend the night alone. One thing was for sure though. The next day, she would demand some quality girl time with her friends, not giving up until she got her way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Home sweet home, Lauren,” Jaime cooed, setting her crying daughter in to her crib. She bent down, kissing the little girls forehead, hoping that she’d fall asleep soon, “We’re home now...no more craziness for a few months. I promise.”

She smiled, backing slowly away from the infant before slowly slipping out of the room, closing the door behind her. Once out of sight, she sighed in exhaustion, hearing the unhappy child’s screams of fury. Lauren had been cranky all day. Jaime figured that the long plane ride, and then a long car ride directly afterwards didn’t help. She’d learned that being on the road wasn’t exactly the right environment for a small child. For that tour though, there had really been no choice. Jaime knew that when the next one neared, she’d have to make a very important decision on what to do, weather it be she stay behind with Lauren, leave her with the maid/nanny or bring her along again. There was still plenty of time to figure it out though, so she decided not to worry about that quite yet.

“Is she sleeping?” AJ asked when Jaime reached the bottom of the stairs, taking her in to his arms.

Jaime snorted, “I wish...she’s very moody today.” she sighed, stepping further in to her fiance’s arms, burring her head in to his shoulder as she heard Lauren’s wails from up the steps, “It’s going to feel good to relax.

“That’s what breaks are for,” he said, “The first year is the hardest...after that, you get to know what to expect and it’s all easier.” he kissed her on the lips softly, “I promise...it won’t be as exhausting next time.”

Jaime smiled, hoping he was right. She also hoped that the next year didn’t hold nearly as much drama as the first too. The craziness had finally died down, other than Stephanie and Nick’s relationship being on the rocks. She couldn’t believe how much had happened. AJ had almost left her because he’d been freaking out over being a father, but had come back around right after Kevin had tried to kill himself, realizing what was important in life. His feelings for her, so to speak, had been re-evaluated, and he’d realized that the new addition to their relationship had nothing to do with his feelings for her.

“So...” AJ grinned, “Now that the tours over...what do you say we start planning our wedding? Because I want to make you Mrs. Jaime McLean, officially, as soon as possible.”

Jaime thought for a moment, her heart fluttering lightly in her chest as her breath caught in her throat. She didn’t know how she’d gotten so lucky as to find somebody so perfect for her. He’d fought so hard to become who he was today, battling issues that most people denied and never got help for. He was the sweetest, most incredible guy that she could ever imagine, and here he was, an amazing father to their daughter and actually eager to get married. Marriage was one thing most guys freaked out about.

“I think that sounds wonderful,” Jaime told him, getting up on her toes slightly to give him a kiss, “I can’t wait to become Mrs. Jaime McLean.”

AJ smiled warmly at her, the words like music to his ears. For the first time in his life, the feelings were matched in the relationship he was in. Usually, he was head over heels for somebody, but they were only using him for his money, or they were crazy about him, but he just didn’t feel anything back. Hearing Jaime say that she wanted the same things as he did gave him a feeling of peacefulness. They’d been together for just about a year now, and they continued to grow closer. AJ knew that his fiancé was sincere and genuine in her feelings towards him, not faking a thing.

“Have I ever told you that you’re my angel?” AJ asked softly.

Jaime drew back, looking in to his beautiful, dark eyes. She cocked her head to one side, staring at him intently, “No...I don’t believe you have.” Jaime stated.

“Oh, well, you are my beautiful angel, Jaime.” he told her again, “I’m never going to let you go.”

Jaime smiled, her knees going weak at how unbelievably sweet he was. If she had anything to do with it, she wouldn’t ever let him go either. Just as they were leaning in for another kiss, a blood curdling scream drew them apart sharply. Jaime sighed, wondering if Lauren was going to be like this from now on. From the time she’d been born, she’d been no trouble at all...

“What do you say we go and sing Lauren to sleep, and then involve ourselves in our own activities?” AJ asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

Jaime laughed, “I think that sounds like the perfect homecoming gift.” she replied, already racing up the stairs with AJ at her heels.

Here is the sequel to For Better, For Worse...to those of you who remember that story. I have much drama and many plans ready for this story, so please review and I will let you see what is in store!

Also, I will try to be back with Chapter 2 next Wednesday! So be looking for it!

Chapter Two

“So, what did you two do last night, or do I even want to ask?” Stephanie inquired as she took a sip of her mocha frappacino from Starbucks.

It was the next day and she’d managed to tear her friends away from their boyfriends. Both girls had put up a slight fight, Anna making the biggest fuss, but she’d finally used her guilt tripping powers to con them in to meeting her. No matter what the situation, it never failed. She always got her way. She was always right.

“Lauren was fussy all night...so AJ and I mainly tended to her,” Jaime sighed, disappointed that they never got the chance to fool around themselves, “During the middle of the night, we took turns being with her. I honest to god don’t know what is with her lately...” Jaime frowned, “We’re doing nothing different.”

“How old is she now?” Stephanie asked, giving up after trying to do the math in her head for a moment.

“About six and a half months almost,” Jaime replied, looking at Kira strangely, “Why?” she asked.

“She’s probably teething, oh smart one,” Stephanie sarcastically quipped, “It is around that time, you know. And it makes the little ones quite...cranky.”

Jaime hadn’t really thought of that before. Now that she took it in to consideration though, it did make perfect sense. It would also explain why Lauren was always trying to gnaw on everything in sight. She was new to this though, and unlike Stephanie, she hadn’t spent her life around infants babysitting and caring for them. She shrugged her shoulders though, figuring that in the next week, she’d make an appointment with a doctor to try and see what they should do about it, if teething was the case.

“Could be,” Jaime replied, her eyelids feeling heavy from the lack of sleep she’d had. Only a couple more hours, and she could sleep...and she looked forward to that.

“So, how about you, Anna...how was your night?” Stephanie asked, turning to her other friend. The one who worried her the most because of her naivety.

“It was alright,” Anna gulped, remembering her finding the night before. The soonest anybody could come to replace the carpet was later in to the next week. She’d taken the appointment, but knew she’d be avoiding the upstairs as much as she could until then, “Kev and I pretty much just watched some movies. I fell asleep on the couch in his arms...he stayed there all night holding me.” she smiled faintly, “I feel nervous leaving him home alone though...”She was anxious to get home and be with him to make sure he was alright.

“You can’t smother him, Anna,” Stephanie scolded, “Past is the past. Move on and get over it. He’ll be fine now. Try to get that through your head.”

Anna scowled at Stephanie’s cold-heartedness. She’d always been like that. Always putting her down, and even Jaime sometimes, about the things they believed and did and thought. Anna wasn’t really sure why she put up with it as much as she did, knowing that the day would come where if things didn’t change, she’d find a way out of the friendship. After all, what kind of friend was somebody who did nothing but slam you? She didn’t know how to handle the situation though, keeping her mouth shut to avoid further self-destructing comments from the small blonde who was tougher than she looked.

“What did you do?” Jaime asked after a long period of awkward silence.

“Eh...stayed in all by myself, ordered a pizza and worked on a column for a newspaper,” she got a couple of blank stares, “It’s a trial thing...if they like it, they’ll hire me on full time. I figure since I am single now and have nothing better to do with my time, other than wait for this little thing to be ready to come out, I might as well work doing something I love...” her voice trailed off and it was sensed that the girl really did miss Nick more than she was allowing herself to let on to anybody. She acted as if she didn’t care, but it was evident that she was hurting over what he had done and still did love him.

“What did happen between you and Nick anyways?” Jaime conjured up the nerve to ask after a long pause, “You never did really tell us what happened.”

Stephanie sighed. How could she explain something she’d really assume not talk about? It wasn’t fair to her best friends though to be kept in the dark though. Jaime and Anna had been nothing but honest about their relationships. Jaime had admitted to her problems with AJ back when she’d been pregnant and AJ had spooked and given her the cold shoulder. Anna had been up-front and open to her emotions during the entire ordeal with Kevin. Didn’t she owe them the same thing, even though she was so used to keeping everything in, dealing with absolutely everything on her own.

“Well...to be bluntly honest and keep it short, he cheated on me.” Stephanie spoke up, knowing her lack of words would only cause questions. Especially after the blank stares of shock wore off...which would be right about that moment.

“What do you mean, he cheated?” Jaime asked, not able to believe that Nick would do such a thing.

“And with who?” Anna asked, “What happened? I...he’s the last person I’d expect to cheat...I mean...” her voice trailed off, knowing that she was stuttering like an idiot, but what Nick had done didn’t make sense, “Are you sure?” she asked.

Stephanie nodded, “Yes, well...beings it was in our house...I’m pretty sure it was Nick,” she rolled her eyes at Anna’s stupidity, ready to explain everything, “I came home from one of my monthly appointments, and he was in the studio in his basement...making out with Willa.”

‘No!” Jaime exclaimed, not believing what she was hearing.

Stephanie nodded again, “He told me it wasn’t what it looked like...but that’s what they all say,” she shrugged as if it didn’t bother her, but Jaime and Anna could see that her torn up relationship was ripping her to pieces inside, “This is why I always refused to date...Nick just reminded me of that.”

“I’m really sorry,” Anna stated softly.

Stephanie shrugged, trying to forget the instance. She was going to slip by the house again to see if Nick was there, and if not, get her belongings before leaving her past behind. After all, Nick was only her past now. It was time she forgot it and continue moving on, keeping as strong as she had been all along. She could only hope that the man would quit trying to contact her and get the hint that it was over, all because of him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s just us guys,” AJ smiled, “For the first time in months.”

“Yeah, all of us minus Howie...wherever that little runaway snuck off to.” Nick joked, “Making up excuses to see us...” he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, “I think he’s sick of us and trying to get away.”

The others laughed at Nick bluntness, also thinking the same thing as him. Was Howie just sick of them all, trying to get away out on his own and not be bothered? They had, after all, pretty much all been together for months on end. Hell, years on end for that. Especially after Kevin’s issues with paralysis and then coma after his suicide attempt. Things had definitely been shaky, but ever since the eldest man had decided that it was time for them to tour again, things had been going fairly smoothly.

“I still think he’s got a girlfriend he’s keeping on the down low,” Kevin chuckled, “It’s only a matter of time before we figure it out though.”

“Probably. He’s the biggest romantic, but always tries to hide it,” AJ commented with a laugh and a shake of his head, “Lord knows what he’s up to.”

Nobody said anything as they all thought about the second oldest man of the friend circle hiding yet another relationship. He normally did this until he knew if it was going to work out or not. For Howie’s sake, they hoped that this girl, whomever she was, was genuine, already jumping to the conclusion that a girl was what was causing the mans absence.

“So, how are Jaime and Anna adapting to actually relaxing and having time to do whatever they want?” Brian asked, looking directly at Nick and Kevin.

“Well, Lauren is keeping us busy,” AJ laughed, shaking his head, “She’s such a doll though. I love her to death. Fatherhood is great,” he grinned, “But Jaime and I haven’t had a real chance to spend any alone time together.”

The group continued walking through the near empty streets casually, hardly anybody recognizing them with them dressed in disguise. An occasional fan still would though, and they would be more than happy to sign an autograph. For the most part though, it was nice to be able to venture out in to the world like normal people for the most part.

“Don’t you have a wedding to start planning, now that touring is over?” Brian asked him, truly interested in his good friends love-life.

AJ beamed, “Yes, we do. We’ve vaguely mentioned that we’d like a spring wedding, which gives us nine months just about. I think that it is manageable. The wedding is still on though. It is just a matter of getting the details sorted out.”

“That’s great!” Kevin exclaimed, happy that for once in his life, AJ was having good luck. From his parents divorce, to the death of his grandmother to his drug and alcohol addictions and going in to rehab, AJ definitely hadn’t had the best luck in life. He definitely deserved the happiness of having Jaime and Lauren, “If you and Jaime ever want to just get out, let me know. I’m sure that Nick and I could watch Lauren for you.”

AJ smiled, “Thanks. I might take you up on that sometime. The past month, she’s been so fussy and...we really haven’t had the chance to be a real couple. I just can’t wait to be married to her. Then...then my life will really be complete.”

His friends smiled at him. As rough as AJ appeared to be around the edges, he really was one of the kindest, soft-hearted people that they knew. And Jaime brought out those best qualities in him. Since he’d started dating her, he’d stopped smoking, the last of the bad habits that he’d carried. He’d also become more responsible, reliable, fatherhood making these qualities come out stronger than ever.

“That’s sweet,” Nick grinned, “Jaime is a hot chick. You deserve her. By the way, how is she in bed?”

AJ gasped in horror at the question, quickly turning to Kevin, eager to change the subject quickly so he wouldn’t have to answer Nick’s insensitive, blunt question, “So anyways, Kev...how’s Anna adapting?”

Kevin shrugged, “Okay, I guess. She’s been acting really strange and won’t go upstairs. I..I’m not sure what’s bothering her.” he sighed, “I hope that she isn’t bored with me and trying to find a way out of the relationship.”

“I seriously doubt that’s it, cuz.” Brian laughed, “Anna is crazy in love with you. Lord knows why. She’s probably just adapting.”

Kevin shrugged, hoping that was it. To be honest though, he really didn’t want to talk about how things were with Anna, for it was only making his paranoia a little bit more intense. To be honest, he was madly in love with this woman. He didn’t want to lose her. In fact, he wanted more with Anna. He wanted children with her, like AJ and Nick had. He wanted to be engaged and the one planning a wedding. He wanted everything with the woman. She was the thing that kept him going and the one thing that he had fought to live for after everything that could have killed him.

“Have you and Stephanie made up yet?” Kevin asked, turning to Nick.

At the sound of that question, Nick’s face fell into a somber expression that said it all. It was obvious that she still wasn’t speaking to him and this was still tearing him up inside. It was safe to say that the three best friends had affected them in serious ways, capturing their hearts. Ironically, Nick’s relationship had been the one to hit rock bottom first. The question was, could he get back up on top again an win Stephanie back?

“No...she won’t even let me explain what happened,” he sighed glumly, “I think it’s over between us.”

“What happened?” Brian asked, “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Nick sighed, explaining everything that happened. The exact thing that he would tell Stephanie if given the opportunity. The thing was though, she wouldn’t let him and his story, the truth, he feared would never be gotten across to this woman which he still loved deeply and his unborn child he would never get the chance to know.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Breathing a sigh of relief as Stephanie slowly drove up to her old house, she pulled in to the driveway. The coast was clear. She was safe to go in and venture around, collecting all of her things. The problem was, she didn’t know how much time she had, for Nick’s whereabouts were unknown. Not like she cared though. All she wanted was to get in and out of the house, never to return again. Was that so much to ask? She didn’t think so.

Parking the car and taking the key out of the ignition, she placed a hand on her growing abdomen, now just over six months pregnant. She was definitely showing now. In only three short months, she would be delivering the child alone. The sex of it, she was still unaware of. To be honest, if she didn’t know, she felt it would be best. The less attached she became, the better because she honestly wasn’t sure if she was going to keep the baby. After all...didn’t it deserve to grow up with both parents? She wanted the child to have a complete family. Not one that was missing a father figure. A father figure was a huge foundation in a child growing. A father showed a kid something that the mother couldn’t. The infant deserved that. Not the messed up, dysfunctional family that it would be if it were only she raising it.

“I’m sorry daddy won’t be here for you,” she said softly, “He didn’t love me any longer though. He preferred his ex.” Stephanie spat out the words bitterly.

With a sigh, she stepped out of the vehicle, getting the key on her key ring for the house in hand, ready to do what she came for. Walking up the driveway and to the door, she stuck the key in to the lock. It fit easily, and she stepped inside, thankful that the locks had not been changed. If they had been, she would have had to find a way to break in and with the security system which she knew Nick had, that would have complicated things slightly. It was manageable, however it would take an amount of time she knew she wouldn’t have. Back to the point though, she’d gotten in without a problem.

Cutting right to the chase and without wasting any time, Stephanie headed straight for the stairs and to where her room used to be. She didn’t know why, but was surprised to find that everything was left exactly how she remembered it. All of her things were exactly where she’d kept them, not moved at all. That was only going to make her task easier.

But then it caught her eye. It was a picture of her and Nick from when she’d first found out that she was pregnant. They had been so happy and in love. It shocked her that Nick still had it out on his night stand, and the memory caused a wave of sadness to rush over her. What had happened between them to cause him to cheat on her? How long had it been going on? Stephanie didn’t know and wasn’t sure if she wanted to, as the memories were only making her miss him all over again. She wanted to move on and get past the feelings.

Turning away sharply from the picture before tears could spring to her eyes, Stephanie started to open up drawers, taking out piles of her clothes and tossing them in to bags that she’d brought in. Her eyes widened as she realized just how many possession she’d left behind, hoping that it would all fit with ease in to the trunk of her small car. That was the least of her worries though as she ventured off to her closet next to pluck things from the racks, taking the hanger and all, also stuffing it all into boxes.

So in to what she was doing, Stephanie didn’t even hear noise coming from elsewhere inside of the house. She continued to hum as footsteps came swiftly up the stairs and across the floor, in to the bedroom, anxious to get inside and catch her without her even realizing what was about to hit her.

“Stephanie!” the voice exclaimed in excitement, “You came back!”

Stephanie froze, dropping what she was holding as she spun around. Her mouth dropped open in shock at whom she was now face to face with. The last person that she ever wanted to see again in her whole life. She was caught though, and knew that there would be no way to get out of speaking to the man. Her mission now was to be as curt and to the point as possible, getting out quickly.

“Hello, Nickolas,” she stated coldly, “I just came to get my belongings to take to my new home.”

Nick’s smile fell quickly upon hearing her harsh words, knocking him back down to reality. He didn’t know how she could hold a grudge and just trash everything they’d shared. She wouldn’t even let him explain. Nick’s eyes went straight to her stomach, where his child was being held. He felt himself wince, wondering if he would ever be a part of its life. He felt he deserved at least that, if nothing else. What he wanted was Stephanie though. He wanted his family and a fair chance to prove that he’d been nothing but faithful.

A hurt expression fell upon his face when Stephanie ignored him again, going back to getting her things. It hit him then that she was moving out completely. Panic overcame him even though he knew all along that it was over. With the beautiful woman’s things still there though, he could at least pretend that everything was fine and they’d be getting back together. Now, harsh reality was striking him, mocking him.

“Stephanie...please don’t be like this.” Nick tried, his tone pleading and desperate

“Be like what?” Stephanie challenged, spinning back around again, her tone loud and angry, “You are the one who cheated on me...remember?”

“I didn’t...”

“I know what I saw, Nick.” Stephanie bent down to pick up some of her bags, draping the plastic ones over her arms and then picking up the paper ones, knowing that she was making three trips worth of luggage in to one, “I just came here to get my things. All I wanted was to come and go before you got home. Since that didn’t happen, just step aside and act like you never saw me.”

Nick grabbed hold of Stephanie’s shoulders, his eyes showing so much pain that she didn’t understand. She shook him off though, and Nick reluctantly let her go.

“Please don’t do this.” Nick tried one last time.

He was too late though, for Stephanie was already walking swiftly out of the room, taking the steps quickly. It was then that a few tears escaped his eyes as he pathetically walked to the front window after hearing a door slam to watch throw the bags in to her car and get in to the car, walking out of his life completely.

At the same time, with shaking hands, Stephanie jammed the key in to the ignition. She got the car started and backed it quickly out of the driveway, wanting to get out of the neighborhood as quickly as possible, but only made it to a stop sign at the end of the street before breaking down completely. She put the car in to park and slumped over the steering wheel, burring her head in to her arms. A wave of emotion overcame her as she too cried for a relationship she’d once had and lost, not even wanting to hear the excuses because it would only open the wound again and make the pain in her heart fresh.

Chapter Three

Howie smiled at Gloria as he took her hand in his, kissing it gently. She laughed lightly, the sound just like music to his ears. He loved her laugh and wondered how he’d gone his entire life without hearing it. She was gorgeous to him, and he wanted to keep her all to himself now that he’d finally found happiness in a life partner. He seriously considered her to be that in the short amount of time that he’d been seeing her. He’d even go as far as to consider her being ‘the one’, as silly as that may have sounded.

“You’re so sweet, you know that?” Gloria told him, pushing a strand of her honey blonde hair behind her ear. Her jade eyes glowed happily as she stared in to his chocolate brown ones, just content with being with him.

Howie had met Gloria at a meet and greet for one of their shows. She’d been alone and last to come up to them. Her fiery, bubbly personality had caught his interest and he’d conjured up the courage to ask her out before she’d gotten away. At first, Gloria had been hesitant, questing his intentions. After all, what would a huge, successful male pop start want to do with a common girl? It didn’t make sense and she had bluntly asked if he was just looking for a relief for his sexual tension. Howie had laughed at that, promising that he wasn’t that way. She had accepted and soon found that he had honorable intentions, truly looking for a long-term relationship instead of a fling. They’d been together ever since, a month and three weeks later. Things were still strong though.

“What did I do?” Howie laughed at her compliment, kissing her lightly on the lips, “I don’t understand...” his voice trailed off.

“Just being you.” Gloria stated, “You are sweet in general...and the best damn boyfriend I’ve ever had.” she sighed, looking in to his eyes. Before she realized what she was saying, the words, “I hope that it lasts.” popped out of her mouth.

Howie chuckled at her, “It will...” he promised, “Because I want it too.” and he did. He always had been the big romantic of the group, falling hard for women when he was actually given the chance to. This time was no different, although this time on his part, he’d fallen a little faster and a little harder than usual. Howie smiled at the thought of his friends always teasing him that he had the emotions of a girl. Maybe they were right, but it was always what made him connect so well in his relationships...and then crushed so hard when she ended it, “You’re incredible.” he let her know.

“As are you.” Gloria sighed, completely content with how things were, “I can’t believe you picked me...of all of the gorgeous women in the world,” she stopped and looked at him for a moment before asking, “Why did you pick me?”

“Because you stood out.”

Gloria blushed, ducking her head slightly to hide the reddening of her cheeks. He was always saying the sweetest things to her on top of pampering her with the best of everything, even though it was against her wishes. She wanted to be treated as if he were any other man besides somebody rich. He insisted though, using his power to spoil her rotten. He had never tried to take advantage of her either in any way. Not once had he mentioned anything past the sweet relationship that they shared. He’d never tried to pressure her in to anything, taking things slow, getting to know her for who she was. It was the way a healthy relationship was supposed to be, but many took advantage of the further steps forward as soon as they could. She appreciated that, for it showed that he was genuinely in to her as a person instead of just some ass to tap.

The couple continued to walk down the moonlit beach, and Howie let go of her hand, snaking his arm around her waist to pull her in closely to his side. His arm went around her perfectly, as if they were made for one another. For the first time in his life, Howie felt as if he had something special, and now knew what Nick, Kevin and AJ saw in their girlfriends, or in Nick’s case, ex girlfriend. He finally understood why they all had fallen so deeply in love and why they went out of their way for them. All of his prayers were answered when Gloria had come in to his life, showing him the emotions and feelings that Anna and Jaime showed his best friends. Stephanie, on the other hand, was treating Nick how he never wished to be treated himself.

“When will I get to meet your friends?” Gloria asked softly, breaking the silence as well as his train of thought, “You know, hang out with everyone? I’ve heard so many stories from you about everyone...” her voice trailed off as she looked up at her boyfriend and smiled, “I want to be a part of that. Anna, Jaime and Steph seem great too.”

Howie laughed, shaking his head. He knew that he conversation would come up eventually. After all, every time he saw her, they were meeting somewhere private, away from the rest of the gang. When they went out, he always made reservations in restaurants in private rooms in the back. It wasn’t because he was embarrassed, for Howie wanted to show her off to the entire world. It was the fact that he didn’t want the precious girls face plastered all over the tabloids with rumors spread about her. The secrecy was to protect her. Plus he didn’t want the Boys hassling him and teasing him, trying to invade his own privacy. Howie knew that their relationship couldn’t go on forever like that, but for the time being, it was nice.

“I kind of like keeping you all to myself,” he teased, stopping in the wet sand as gentle waves splashed against their ankles to pull her completely in to his arms in a hug, planting a huge kiss on her lips. He then turned serious though, gazing deeply in to her eyes, “Honestly though...I’ll introduce you to them soon. I promise.”

Gloria smiled shyly, “I’d like that a lot.”

“Then your wish will be granted, sweetheart.” Howie smiled, tucking some of her hair out of her eyes as he cupped her cheek within his palm, sealing the promise with a kiss with enough passion and power to shake the universe.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin sighed as he pulled on his workout clothes, ready for another day of physical therapy...his first since his return home. Although it wasn’t doing any good yet, and he didn’t feel he was even close to ever walking again, he knew that it had to be done. The therapy, after all, was keeping him from becoming stiff and his muscles deteriorating completely. When he looked in the mirror, he could see just how much his body had changed over the past year, and not for the better either. To himself, he looked weak, gangly and way too thin. More than anything, he wanted to get his muscle back, but didn’t know if he was wishing for something impossible or not. It sure seemed like he was. Every time Kevin started to get discouraged and felt like giving up, that was the one thing that kept him going; knowing that if he gave up completely he’d be in even worse condition than he was already in.

That and he didn’t want to let Anna down. She had so much faith in him, encouraging him all of the way. Never once had the precious woman ever indicated that she didn’t believe in him or downsized him. She’d never sent him negative vibes. She was the reason he was even alive, for he’d fought so hard to get better for her. Anna had saved him right after he’d shot himself, and even though he’d been in a coma for so long, he knew that he was meant to live. She loved him unconditionally and he loved her more than anything. Disappointing his Anna would be about the worst thing in the world. It would be worse than being paralyzed for the rest of his life. Kevin knew that he could live with that. He could not, however, live with knowing he had let down Anna.

“Hi baby.”

Kevin looked up to see Anna coming in to the room. He smiled, seeing her making his heart leap. Her chestnut locks were swept up in to a high ponytail, her beauty showing through the small amount of makeup she had on her face naturally. Sometimes, Kevin wondered why she stuck with him and put up with him after all the extra baggage that the relationship came with that hadn’t been there from the start. Hell, she’d agreed to give things a chance after things had started to go down hill. Never once had he questioned her feelings though. He had Anna and that was all that really mattered to him. Showing his weakness and low confidence in himself would only be unattractive.

“Hey darling,” Kevin greeted with a smile, raising his eyes in quizzical confusion when he saw her purse strung over her shoulder, “Are you leaving?”

Anna laughed, “Yes...you always ask me to leave during your sessions.” she looked at him somewhat bewildered.

Kevin chuckled as he leaned over, struggling only slightly to put on his socks and then shoes. He’d come so far in what he was able to do for himself in the past year and some months. Even if he didn’t see it, Anna definitely could. It was incredible to her and she was so proud of her boyfriend in so many ways, just watching him with a smile on her face. Amazed was putting it mildly at how she felt about his progress. Sure, he couldn’t walk, however he could near master everything else in his life without the help from anybody. Kevin agreeing to tour, and then doing so fantastically, had been a huge step in showing that he was healing faster than anybody realized or chose to see. Everybody but herself and the Boys, that was.

“I was thinking that maybe it’s time you start sticking around.” Kevin offered, “It’s a new start in our lives...what do you say?”

Anna raised an eyebrow, “But I though...I mean you were always so embarrassed...are you sure?” she stammered, wondering why Kevin was having such a sudden change in attitude about things.

“Darlin,” he grunted, looking up and straightening himself in his wheelchair after tying his shoes, “We’ve been together for just over a year now, right?” Anna nodded, “Why not? I was being stupid and petty before. You’ve helped me so much...you should be a part of everything. That is...if you’d like to be.”

Anna just stared at Kevin for a long moment, wondering if she’d heard him right. The look on his face said that he was serious, however what if the look was for something entirely different that he’d said. After all, she had been known to only hear what she wanted or take something and make it in to something else with her lack of listening skills...aka blonde moments.

“Well...” Kevin asked after a moment when she didn’t reply, “What do you say? Want to be a part of it? Who knows...maybe if you see what Richard does, you can take over and be my personal physical therapist.”

Anna was only in silent shock for another minute before saying in enthusiasm, “Are you kidding me? I’d love to.”

Kevin laughed at how excited she was over something so seemingly small. It was adorable and she looked like a teenager again. Kevin absolutely loved it when her brown eyes sparkled when she got excited over something. And the smallest things did that to Anna too. That was why their relationship was so strong and great. It didn’t take a whole lot to keep her happy. All she truly wanted was to be loved, shown affection and treated with respect.

“Then why don’t you stay and watch,” Kevin offered just as the doorbell was sounding announcing that Richard was there.

“Okay...that sounds good,” Anna agreed, figuring joining the girls would have to be postponed to another date. She bent down and kissed him before going towards the door to let the therapist in to their home so they could get down to business.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where do you want me to put this?”

Stephanie looked up at Jaime to see her holding up a box containing her extensive CD collection. She sighed, thinking for a moment before pointing to her dresser after looking around for a proper place.

‘Just set them on top of there...til I find my CD rack thingamabob.” she stated.

Jaime did as told, setting the box on top of the dresser, looking in to it to see if there was anything of interest to her as she did so. She and Anna were always swapping CD’s back and forth, burning them off of each other. She wondered if Stephanie had anything that she could swipe off of her. Much to her distaste, their music interests ever extremely different, giving up after three rows of alternative bands.

“This is really starting to give me a headache,” Stephanie sighed, rubbing her temples in small circles to prove her point, “Moving and unpacking is a pain in the ass.”

Jaime laughed. Didn’t she know it. Moving from her old home in to AJ’s had been a real nuisance. It was done and over with now and they were living comfortably, plus baby. Jaime smiled at the thought of Lauren...six month. Just the night before, she’d taken her first few wobbly inches in crawling. She’d felt heartsick even leaving Lauren because she as starting many firsts in her life. AJ was with her though. AJ was definitely a great father to their daughter, loving her and taking care of her like any father should. Jaime found it incredibly sexy when a man took care of his child the way AJ did. She was lucky enough to have found one of them.

“Just think...when you’re done, you’ll have your own cute little condo all to yourself.” Jaime tried to encourage her friend.

Stephanie smiled, but sadness was seen behind it. Anybody could detect it even though Stephanie always tried to act tough and untouchable. She still loved Nick, but would never admit it. Her pride and ego weighed out her heart and soul’s emotions by a mile. Stephanie even giving Nick a chance had been a miracle in the first place because she had strict rules against dating. She’d caved though, and dating the man had only caused points to be proven on why she had refused to for so long.

“Yeah, lets hope...” her voice trailed off, “I’m going to turn in to a cat lady...I can just see it.” she teased in attempt to lighten the mood, “I’ll get one to keep me company and end up with like, twenty.”

Jaime laughed at this, for some reason finding it humorous as she took shirts from boxes, placing them on hangers. She placed each thing on top of the other, forming neat piles to be picked up and hung in the walk in closet easily and at once when the time came for that. Organizing things had always been something that she found to be fun. Most found her small hobby odd, however she didn’t care. Neatness was a pet peeve of hers. She swore, sometimes because of that quality, she wondered if she was more suitable for Kevin...

“This place is really cute,” Jaime offered, looking around, “I’m kind of jealous. I’d always wanted to get a place of my own, but mommy dearest held me back...and then I moved in with AJ right away. I never did get to experience living on my own or renting out with you and Anna.”

“You’re always welcome to move in with me.” Stephanie pointed out, and although it was just a suggestion, Jaime knew that her friend was lonely and wanted more than anything for her to live with her.

“I would...but I don’t think AJ and Lauren would like that too much.” Jaime stated, trying to sound genuine. She was, yet she knew that she could never leave the two. She had a family now. She wanted to keep that.

“I’d never expect it,” Stephanie stated as if reading her mind, “You and Anna have your own lives. It isn’t your fault that mine isn’t working out like the damned cards said.”

Jaime wasn’t sure what to say, so she just continued unpacking boxes and bags of clothes as Stephanie started to put them away to rid of some of the clutter around her house. She knew that given a month, things would be thrown haphazardly around the floors, however for now, she wanted to start out organized.

As she went to pick up a pile of clothes, a small piece of paper caught her eye though. Looking at it, she bent down and plucked it up, starting at it for a moment. Brad. She read, with a number scrawled beneath it. Stephanie raised an eyebrow, wondering where the number had come from and who it was. She racked her brain for any possible explanation or memory of it, but nothing came to her. Nothing until...

Brad! Suddenly, she had it. The server from the restaurant. The gorgeous man with the hauntingly sad eyes but friendly personality. The one who’d hit on her in some way yet pried information from her. He’d had a certain nature about him that had made it okay to trust him with everything. The memory of the day came back to her and a sour taste formed in her mouth. Right after her lunch, Stephanie had come home to find Nick cheating on her with Willa. It had been the perfect ending to a day which should have been exciting, catch the sarcasm. Had she not been dating Nick, Stephanie was positive that she would have accepted Brad’s invitation and date him. The thought had crossed her mind, but over the months, she’d forgotten all about the mysterious man with the piercing green eyes. That was, until that moment.

“I forgot I had this...” she muttered aloud

“What?”

Stephanie looked up at Jaime’s confused face and realized she’d thought out in spoken words that could be heard. She just shook her head, dismissing it all. None of it was important. The past was past. Almost four months had passed. He wouldn’t remember her even if she wanted to call him.

“Nothing.” Stephanie stated as she crumpled the paper up, tossing it in to the trash bag next to her so that the memory would be gone forever, “Nothing at all.”

Thanks to those of you who've left feedback. It means a lot to me. Here is Chapter 3. I have 4 outlined...and should be back next week with it. In the meantime....I will also have a chapter of Not So Bad out likely by tomorrow! Please review!

Chapter Four

Nick sighed as he sat in his recording studio trying to think of a new song to write. He played a few chords on his guitar to get a feel for the tune, writing them down quickly before adding on to it. The sound didn’t feel right though. He needed to feel the music. Sighing in exasperation, Nick erased what he’d done, putting the guitar down before slapping the pencil and paper down on the table next to him. He placed his elbows on the table, burying his face in to his hands. His life had become a mess.

Ever since Stephanie had walked out on him, Nick honestly had lost all inspiration. He was lost without her. In love. That was the feeling that Nick had when he thought about Stephanie, saw her, had felt her touch, heard her voice. She was his perfect match. They were having a child together and he had a sick feeling that he’d never even be able to be a part of its life. A silent tear fell from Nick’s eye as he thought of this and how badly he had messed up. Stephanie had warned him about Willa, telling him from the start that the woman was no good. Nick had trusted the woman who’d taken his money, his dignity, using him for her own pleasure up until the point of getting all that she wanted from him. How had he been so stupid? When would he ever learn and gain some common sense instead of having the world take care of him and tell him right from wrong all of the time.

“God, I am a moron.” Nick muttered to himself, the sound muffled as he groaned in disgust with himself

The truth was, he felt like he was nothing without Stephanie. His life was meaningless. He had no heart, soul or desire for anything. She had been what kept him going through the hard times. Nick honestly felt that she was the one, making him look past his fear of commitment and marriage. She had been that special someone that made him think that just maybe they wouldn’t be so bad. Stephanie had been his ‘one’. Nick truly believed that with all that was in him and up until the kiss with Willa, Nick had been pretty sure that Stephanie had felt the same. Would he ever get the chance to prove to her that their love and relationship had been real, or was she going to shut him out forever? At this point, Nick was going for the latter.

Closing his ocean blue eyes, Nick tried to squeeze away more tears. God, his life had become pathetic. He’d always had a rather sensitive heart and soul, but this just iced the cake. It had been three months and he was still moping over the woman whom he wanted back more than anything. In fact, he spent endless nights trying to write songs about his pain on top of ones that he would sing to her to win the woman back. Nothing ever sounded good enough though, as the words didn’t sound worthy of Stephanie. Hence his frustration that day. He’d locked himself away for yet another day to try and concentrate in hopes that he might come up with something good. As always though, his inspiration was gone

Nick’s concentration was broken by the phone ringing shrilly in his ear. He had half a notion not to answer it, really not caring about whom was calling. In the event that it was something serious though, Nick decided to just talk to whomever was calling. Taking in a deep breath while wiping away his tears of sadness, he reached over plucking the cordless phone from its stand, clicking the ‘talk’ button before brining it to his ear.

“What’s up?” he answered, wincing at how his voice sounded, as he heard a tear-clogged throat, evident that he’d been crying.

“Nicky! I’m so glad you answered!”

Nick winced now, truly regretting answering, or not checking his caller ID first. The sound of the woman’s voice was like nails screeching along a blackboard to his ears and about the last thing that they wanted to hear. The woman always popped up at the worst moments, crawling out of the woodwork when he finally thought that he was rid of her for good. Once again, stupid. Nick should have known better than to think that it would happen. And wasn’t he just thinking about her and how she had messed up his relationship? Nick swore that sometimes, he made things happen through telepathy or something.

“What do you want, Willa?”

“Just to see how you’re doing,” she cooed sweetly, “I know that you returned from the tour last week and decided to give you a chance to settle back in before calling.”

“How kind of you.” Nick stated stiffly, his already depressed mood taking a turn for the worst with every second that passed in which he was on the phone with the woman.

“Anyways,” Willa continued, her tone upbeat, “How are you and Stephanie.”

Nick grunted. The woman was definitely pure evil. How he had not seen it before he’d even gotten involved with her in the first place was a question he asked himself on a weekly basis. He looked down at his arm at a small scar trailing along it from a time she had stabbed him with a butter knife. It wasn’t that bad...nothing that he’d needed to go to the hospital for. That was besides the point though. She was crazy, and Nick kept falling back in to her trap. No more though.

“You know as well as I do that me and Steph are on outs right now,” Nick told the woman with a disgusted tone about his voice, “It was in the magazines everywhere and still is in a few.”

That was the truth too. The articles varied from the split being Nick’s fault to Stephanie’s. They all pretty much said the same thing though. That the once inseparable, happy couple was officially done with Stephanie left estranged with the child they’d created together. A few of them had said that Nick had been cheating on his girlfriend with Willa for months. It was mostly bull shit, but Nick didn’t even have the energy to care or try to correct anything. What was the point? It wasn’t like a correction would bring Stephanie back to him

“That’s too bad.” Willa stated without an ounce of sincerity in her voice. Nick could at least tell that much.

“What do you want, Willa?” Nick asked again, his heart aching for Stephanie even more. He wondered if the pain would ever go away...

“Honestly, I was wondering if you’d like to get together sometime.”

There it was...the true motives for the woman calling. It always resorted in her wanting to see him. Which lead to her trying to win him back in a romantic way. She was like a leech. A blood sucking, no good leech. Willa never got the hint. Nick knew that he would have to tell her no again, and this time, stick to his word.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Nick told her.

“Please? I miss seeing you. I haven’t seen you since you took off to make up the tour since Kevin’s accident.”

“Willa, no. I honestly don’t think so. You’ve already messed up my relationship.” Nick stood his ground.

“C’mon Nick,” she said softly, “You know that you want to see me too. It would just be to talk. Lets meet at Starbucks or something. No strings attached.”

Nick hesitated. The woman was persistent. Again, his energy was low and he didn’t have the strength to argue. He knew that she wouldn’t give up until she got her way. He honestly wanted nothing to do with her any longer though. If he’d just stood up to her to begin with, he would still have his girlfriend.

“Nick? Just to talk...I promise.”

Nick knew that he should have known better, but before he could stop himself, he found himself saying, “Okay...”after a huge hesitation, “But only to talk...nothing more.” he was quick to inform her. He wanted to slap himself for agreeing, the last thoughts before hanging up the phone being, When will I ever learn?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon, Laru Laur... come here baby girl.” Jaime called to her daughter from her position sitting Indian style on the floor.

Lauren’s attention had been distracted by a small bug ladybug that was crawling across the floor. She had stopped, watching it with intense concentration before poking at it. The seven month old girl jumped slightly when the bug spread its tiny red wings and flew away to higher, safer grounds. Jaime laughed lightly at how adorable her daughter was.

“I swear, she’s got the personality of Nick more than her mommy or daddy.”

Jaime sprung up a little, the sound of AJ’s voice startling her as he came in to the room. He knelt down next to her, giving his fiancé a hug and small kiss on the lips before sitting down next to her completely. Jaime rested her head on his shoulder as she laughed at Lauren. AJ proved a good point. Lauren was always around Nick and she was definitely starting to act like a little blonde with a short attention span. She was a sweetheart none the less, though.

“Yeah...well...” Jaime chuckled, her voice trailing off as Lauren looked at her and AJ, her eyes lighting up.

“Come to dada.” AJ held his arms out to her.

Lauren stared at her parents for a second longer before letting out a gleeful coo, crawling quickly to her daddy, a large smile formed on her mouth. AJ laughed as she crawled right in to his lap. AJ laughed, scooping the little girl up in to his arms as he hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead. Lauren giggled happily, wrapping her arms around AJ’s neck in a hug that took her entire small body to manage.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Jaime joked, leaning over to kiss Lauren on the cheek, “You are such a little daddies girl.”

Lauren just turned her head to face Jaime, giving her a toothy grin with what little teeth that she had. She never moved from her fathers lap though, settling herself comfortably within his arms as she let out a small yawn. AJ’s heart leapt to his throat as he hugged her again, never knowing he could love something so much...besides his Jaime. His daughter gave him a whole new meaning to his life though. He was responsible for another life entirely. It was something that would scare most people, and it even freaked him out sometimes. He knew that he wouldn’t change it for the world though. This was his family.

“She loves her mama more than anything,” AJ was quick to convince, smiling at Jaime. He kissed her cheek before saying, “And so do I.” Jaime blushed slightly, her AJ always finding the most amazing times to confess his true feelings for her. They were always unexpected moments, but they came quite often.

“And I love her daddy more than anything,” Jaime smiled, thinking back to the night that they’d created Lauren. God, how she’d like to relive that night. After all...her daughter needed a little baby brother or sister...

“I’ve been thinking...” AJ brought up, interrupting Jaime’s thoughts as he pulled her in closely to his side, “Since the tour is over and all...and we’ll be having some time off...why don’t we start planning that wedding of ours?”

Jaime pulled away from AJ as she looked at him in shock. She could not even begin to describe how many times she’d thought about their wedding, her insides in excited knots of apprehension, wanting to bring it up to him more than anything. No wanting to be the typical pushy bride to be, Jaime never once had mentioned the wedding, deciding that when AJ was ready to start planning, then he would bring it up on his own time and terms. And here he was, doing just that.

‘Are...are you serious?”

AJ laughed and nodded, “Yes, baby. I am serious. I can’t wait to be married to you. I think that we should start planning things out so that we can do it by next summer at the latest.”

Jaime knew that her eyes must have lit up like a town full of Christmas lights at his confession. It excited him to see that the girl of his dreams seemed to be just as enthusiastic about their future together was he was. He could see it in her green orbs and by the bright smile on her petite face. AJ felt tingles of love vibrate through him as he cupped her face in his hands, pulling her in for a big kiss as Lauren cooed, breaking up their romantic moment as both of them laughed.

“Besides that...”AJ said between laughs, “I think little Miss Lauren wants her parents to get hitched,” Jaime rolled her eyes at this, but honestly couldn’t picture him looking and more sexy than he did at that moment with his goatee perfectly shaven in a white wife beater and black, baggy athletic pants. It was a casual, lazy look. He was gorgeous though, “So, what are your ideas on the wedding?”

“Depends on what you mean.” Jaime mentioned seductively.

AJ laughed at this, “I think your mind is more on the honeymoon...which will be spectacular. I can promise you that. But the actual wedding. What are your thoughts?”

Jaime smiled at the thought of her dream wedding since she was a little girl, growing up in Ohio. It didn’t involve a priest, but however a judge marrying herself and her future husband. She had never been big in to religion, so she preferred not to have it done in a church. However, Jaime had the ultimate wedding in her mind with the perfect, romantic setting. One in which she’d love to have AJ agree to.

“I know you have something on your mind, babe. Spill.”

“Well... honestly, I would love to be married on the beach,” she confessed with a smile, “Right by the water as the sun is setting with the skies a palate of oranges, purples and pinks...the alter lit up with white lights with a path of white lights leading up to it with white carnations and roses as flowers...” her voice trailed off as a small smile formed on her lips at the picture that had formed in her head.

“Is that what you want?” AJ asked, his brown eyes connecting with hers to read her mind and get a feel for how serious she was about the idea, because to him, it sounded amazing. It sounded perfect. The wedding sounded simple, yet exquisite. They could invite as may people as they liked and fancy things up, making the setting around them perfect. Her idea was beautiful, in AJ’s mind, bringing out the sap in him.

Jaime nodded her head after a slight pause, hoping that AJ’s question wasn’t a bad thing, meaning that he disagreed totally, hoping that she would think up something better. Jaime couldn’t lie though. The wedding was something that she wanted. If AJ didn’t like it, then they would just have to compromise.

“It is.” Jaime replied with all seriousness.

“Then that is what you shall get.”

Jaime looked at her fiancé startled, not expecting this response, “Really?” she asked

“Really.” AJ replied, already looking forward to making the dream a reality.

Chapter Five

“Are you sure they’re going to like me?” Gloria asked as she nestled her hand deeper within Howie’s, glancing up at him nervously as they entered a room full of all of Howie’s friends, “They all look so close and all...and I’m new.”

Howie laughed, leaning over to give his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek, “They’ll love you. You’re an absolute sweetheart and that witty humor of yours will be a sure thing.” she didn’t look convinced, “I promise, sweetheart. You’ll win them over in no time.”

Gloria forced a small smile, but on the inside she felt like a jumble of knotted up nerves. Everybody in the room had been tight knit...for the most part...for the past year and a half practically. They’d already created their bonds with one another. The girls had probably been friends for many years, and Lord knew that the guys had. It would take a long time for her to fit in to the group and feel like she actually belonged. True, she’d wanted nothing more than to just meet everybody. Now that it was happening, Gloria was afraid.

“Don’t worry, Glor. They’ll adore you as much as I do.” He squeezed her hand lightly, “I might have to fight some of the single ones off of you.” he joked lightly.

“They couldn’t compare with you though.” Gloria told him sincerely, “I honestly feel as if I’ve found my perfect match with you.”

Howie chuckled lightly, trying to hide the blush he could feel coming. The complements that his girlfriend gave him were definitely over the top. He knew that she meant every word without trying to win brownie points though. Gloria was above that, more mature than most of the other money sucking, heart breaking tramps he’d managed to find. She was sweet and kind, not toying with his feelings. She was the real deal. There was no way that the others wouldn’t completely love her.

The happy new couple continued on up to the others as they held on to one another’s hands. Howie could feel Gloria tense slightly within his grip, hoping that it wasn’t too soon to introduce her. She was fiery and bubbly when she was comfortable, but when nervous, the girl was like pure jello.

“Hey guys,” Howie greeted, “Sorry we’re late.”

The group turned from their conversation to find that the last member of the group had finally arrived and with a new addition. They all said their hello’s, eyeing Gloria in curiosity. This just made the girl even more nervous, ducking behind Howie slightly to hide herself from their stares. Her heart was beating in her chest at what seemed to be a million beats per second. Apprehension was tight in her every fiber. She was still terrified that none of them would like her and not want to take the time to let somebody new in to their group. If they didn’t like her, would Howie leave her too for somebody whom was more fitting to the group,

‘Who’s your friend?” Nick asked bluntly, pointing right at Gloria, “That blonde chick hiding behind you?”

Howie shot Nick a warning look before stepping aside to reveal his stunning girlfriend, hugging her firmly against his side, “This, everybody, is my girlfriend...Gloria. We’ve been seeing each other for some time now...a few months. Gloria, the blonde with the big mouth is Nick..as you already know I’m sure. That’s AJ, Brian, Kev, the brunette with the curly hair is Anna, Kevin’s girlfriend, The smaller brunette is Jaime, AJ’s girl and then the blonde girl is Stephanie.” he pointed to each person as he introduced them.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Gloria spoke up with a anxious smile, “Howie’s told me so much about you.”

‘It’s nice to meet you too,” Anna was first to greet, moving her chair aside at the large table that they were at to make room for the new girl.

Gloria accepted, walking over to the table and taking a set next to Anna as she folded her hands in her lap, eyes darting around in apprehension. Howie came over to her, taking a vacant seat beside his girlfriend as everybody started asking her questions. They were doing just as he knew they would. They were getting to know her and trying to make her feel welcome, immediately warm.

“So, were did you and Howie meet?” Brian asked her

“Ummm...in Pennsylvania.” she replied, “After a show that you did.”

Brian chuckled, “No wonder he started acting all goofy after that show,” Brian teased, “Always smiling and off in dreamland.”

This caused both Gloria and Howie to blush. They gave each other a sideways look at the same time and their eyes caught and they smiled at one another. Howie reached from under the table, placing a hand on one of Gloria’s firm thighs, rubbing it affectionately before taking her hand in his.

“It was at the beginning of your tour...” Gloria mentioned with a smile, “One of the first shows when you came back. We’ve been together ever since...”

“And you’re just now introducing her to us?” Nick cracked, looking at Howie in offense, “She’s damn ho!! You should have brought her around much sooner!.” Nick felt a leg kick his shin hard from under the table as Howie shot him a dirty look, “Ouch! What was that for, D?”

Howie just glared at Nick, shaking his head in warning, hoping that Nick took the hint to just shut his mouth. The blonde just stuck his lip out in an immature pout as he leaned down to rub his throbbing shin, unaware of what he’d done wrong. Since when was giving a girl a complement such a crime? As Nick looked around the table though, he noticed that each person was giving him a disbeliefed look. Stephanie was one of them, but there was something else mixed in with it. Hurt maybe? Jealousy?

“Have you just been coming out to visit Howie periodically then?” Jaime asked as she bounced Lauren lovingly on her leg.

Gloria nodded, “Every other week he flies me out for a visit for a few days,” Gloria informed, “On the weekends, since I work all week,” she smiled at the infant reaching out and grabbing at Jaime’s drink, sticking her hands in to the glass to retrieve an ice cube, “Your daughter is adorable.” she smiled.

“Oh,” Jaime laughed, “Thank you. She’s at that age where she’s in to everything.”

Gloria laughed, admiring the child. She absolutely loved kids, which was precisely why she was majoring in pediatrics at the moment back home. She had to do geriatrics first for clinical’s, but knew that if she was patient and did the stuff she didn’t like so much first, it would all pay off and she would have her dream job in no time.

“How old are you?” Anna asked her, interested in knowing more about Gloria.

“Twenty-one.” Gloria replied, “Just turned a couple of months ago. Thank the Lord, I can drink!” she cracked. This caused a round of laughter to circulate around the table at her witty humor, “Actually, I don’t care for the taste of alcohol, but if the opportunity presents itself..” More laughter.

“I’m twenty-one too. Jaime and Stephanie are twenty two now.” she stuck out her tongue, “I feel sooo left behind.”

Gloria smiled, already feeling as if she fit in to the group, and she especially liked Anna’s warmness. She seemed like the type that was easy to talk to and get to know, one who would give anybody a chance. Gloria decided that she would try to get to know Anna before the others, hoping that they had as much in common as she assumed that they would. After all, she couldn’t spend all of her time with Howie and would need some friends since she was going to be around a little bit longer with this visit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin sighed as he exited the X-ray room at the hospital with Anna at his side. He hadn’t said a whole lot all morning. Then again, the appointment had been set for six in the morning. Neither was used to getting up before nine anymore. It had been tough hauling ass out of bed and getting to Kevin’s doctors appointment on time, Anna nearly falling asleep behind the wheel as she drove them. After a cup of coffee and an energy drink, she was pretty much good to go.

“So, now what?” Anna asked Kevin as she placed a hand lovingly on his shoulder, massaging it within her long, thin fingers.

“Go to a small office room and wait for the doctor and he’ll tell me how things are looking, do some of the things Richard does, then tell me how things are looking,” Kevin sighed, “I haven’t had an appointment since...hell...since right before we took off on the road.” he forced a laugh, “Thank’s for coming with me, baby. You really didn’t have to.”

Anna smiled as he wheeled his way in to his designated room, positioning himself next to the chairs that were meant for the patients and/or their family. She followed him in, taking a seat in one of the chairs lining the left wall, “I wouldn’t have dreamed of not coming. I love you and support you.”

Kevin smiled warmly, it actually not forced, “It means a lot to me. Thank you.” He leaned over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

The couple sat in silence and Anna reached over to grab Kevin’s hand, sensing that he was nervous. The man had every right to be too. Anna knew how much he was hoping that the doctor would deliver good news, saying that he was improving. He would never admit out loud how much it meant to him, but Anna could tell that it was all her boyfriend really wanted after not being able to walk on his own for a year and a half. She could sense his apprehension. Kevin had been so positive and had been doing so well. For his sake, Anna hoped that the doctor delivered good news to the man. He deserved it. But just in case...

“You know that no matter what he says, I’ll love you the same, regardless...right?”

Kevin turned and looked at her, their eyes meeting. Anna saw his green eyes filled with so much love and adoration. The look was enough to cause her heart to melt, “I know darling. I love you too. Thanks for putting up with me all of this time.”

Anna laughed, “Putting up with you? I do it because I care about you and want to do it. In fact...there is nothing else I would honestly rather do.”

Kevin chuckled, “I honestly doubt that now, but thank you. You’re one of a kind, Anna. Now do you know why I fought so hard to get you?”

Anna wasn’t sure of what to say. She wondered if he held any sort of grudge against her due to the fact that she hadn’t agreed to date him right away. Then again, she’d only done it for Kevin’s sake. He hadn’t been over his ex wife yet and at first, not even divorced yet. But if she hadn’t refused, Kevin wouldn’t be paralyzed right now. He would be happy, healthy. Anna bit her lip, wondering if he resented her...blamed her at all? Kevin was so perfect that he would never outright say any of that to her, but was it hidden within his mind?

Just then, Kevin’s doctor breezed in to the room holding a clipboard. As always, he mans face was unreadable. He sat down on his stool as he opened up Kevin’s folder. He looked over the chart for a moment before closing the folder and looking up.

“How are you today, Kevin, Anna?” Dr. Newton asked blandly.

“We’re good,” Kevin answered nervously, “And you?”

Dr. Newton shrugged without answering, “How is your physical therapy going? I see that you have switched to Richard Ryans.”

“That’s correct,” Kevin replied, “Things are going great, actually. He’s great and really helpful.”

Nothing was said for a moment as Dr. Newton wrote some things down. Likely what Kevin was saying, or not saying. Was there really a right or wrong thing to say though in this situation? Kevin didn’t think so. It wasn’t like he had to study or anything for the appointment. He came, he told his feelings, he left. End of story.

“I took a look at your x-rays. Everything looks stable. Nothing is worse, but no better either. On a positive note, your muscles aren’t deteriorating. Other than that, no change.”

Kevin frowned, “I see.” he furrowed is brown in confusion.

“I’d like to have you get up on the examination table and see how things feel for myself. It will give me a better feel for your condition.”

Kevin nodded and he felt Anna squeeze his hand as she got up. Both her and Dr. Newton helped Kevin up on to the table that was a good three and a half feet off of the ground. The doctor got right down to business right away, doing much of what Richard did, only quicker and not as routine.

“Hmm...”

“What?” Kevin grunted, not liking the way the doctor’s voice had come across and especially the look on his face. Kevin never got an answer though. He looked at Anna who gave him a supportive smile. Only when the doctor stepped back from the table and sat back down, recording some more notes did Kevin ask, “How do things look?”

“Honestly, not as pleased as I’d hoped I would be. It’s been eighteen months and you’re in the same condition as you were in when the accident happened.”

It broke Anna’s heart when she saw Kevin’s face fall and mutter an ‘oh’. She hated Dr. Newton for crashing Kevin’s hopes like that. Sure, he had to be honest, but still. Kevin had been through so much. All Anna wanted for the man was for him to get his wish. He was, after all, an entertainer. Three months hadn’t been a huge deal to perform in a wheelchair. Kevin had bargained with it, thinking it would be a one time thing. It looked like it was turning in to more than that though. She wanted to reach out and pull him in to a comforting hug, but felt that she couldn’t move.

“I’m going to ask you something, doctor,” Kevin spoke up, his voice firm, “And I want you to be completely honest with me. No sugar coating. What are my chances of walking again ever?”

Dr. Newton paused for only a second before saying, “Honestly, Mr. Richardson, at this point. I would say slim,” Kevin looked as if he had been slapped, “I’m not saying it is impossible. Some cases I would rule out impossible. But I will say that it is not likely.”

Kevin sucked in his breath slowly and held it in for a few seconds before letting it out. Without another word, Dr Newton and Anna helped Kevin back in to his wheelchair. Kevin positioned himself the best he could, his mood from previously somewhat more sullen. Anna’s heart went out to him, knowing that the doctors confessing was a huge blow. Especially since in the beginning, it was said that his chances were rather good.

“Is there anything else you needed today?” Dr. Newton asked as he opened the door, it obvious that as far as he was concerned, the appointment was over.

“No, that’s all, thank you.” Kevin sighed in monotone.

“Very well. You can schedule your next appointment at the front desk on your way out.” and with those words said, he was gone.

Kevin and Anna followed, going in the opposite direction as the doctor. Kevin didn’t say a word until they were on their way out to the car.

“Well, that was a shock.” he muttered.

“Are you going to be okay?” Anna asked in concern.

Kevin smiled, but it was visible that it was fake, “Yeah...I’ll be fine. I’m doing fine like this. Let’s just go home, okay?”

Anna nodded, smiling at how strong Kevin was acting to be. On the inside, she knew that he was dying from the bad news. She could only hope that it would not cause permanent depression in her recently upbeat boyfriend.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ohhh!” Jaime exclaimed as she rushed in to one of her favorite stores, Hollister, “That is sooo cute!” She pulled a light blue shirt off of a rack. It was button up with a sewn in white shirt underneath. She held it up to her body, the size extra small, ‘What do you think?” she modeled the shirt for them.

“Adorable,” Anna agreed, approving her friends taste, “Although you’re so damned small, anything would look good on you. So not fair!”

Gloria laughed as Stephanie and Jaime both rolled their eyes. They were used to Anna grumbling with how fat she was when in reality, she was thin. The girl didn’t give herself nearly enough credit. The four were out that day to just have fun and shop, having a girls day out. They’d invited Gloria to get to know her better and found that she was a lot like all of them with mixed personalities. She had Anna’s sweet side, Stephanie’s sarcasm and Jaime’s bluntness. True, all of the girls had all of those traits somewhat, but with Gloria, they all stood out. It made it so much easier to get along with her.

“You should get it,” Gloria mentioned, “It would definitely have AJ screaming in ecstacy for you.”

Jaime laughed, “Just what I need...AJ horny and getting me pregnant again.” she shook her head. Her fiancé had a bigger sex drive than any man that she knew. Then again, when it came to him, she found herself turned on quite often...

“Lauren would have a little playmate at least?” Anna offered with a giggle, “After all, she is the first Backstreet Baby.”

“That’s what Stephanie’s baby will be for!” Jaime exclaimed in disbelief that the group was already planning out her second pregnancy, “You know, the child that is due in two months.”

Everybody laughed, including Jaime. The four stepped through the store, each picking a few things off of the racks that they liked. They all went in to a dressing room to try on their things and get the others opinions to rule out the not-so-good clothing before paying and leaving the store, each with a nearly stuffed shopping bag.

“Shopping...a girls best friend!” Jaime sighed in happiness, looking at Gloria’s small bag with only one top and one pair of jeans, “How did you not go crazy in there?”

Gloria shrugged, “Guess I’m not in to the whole girlie thing. More of a tom boy...in to video games, guns and shooting, blood...”

Jaime looked at the girl as if she’d grown a second head before shaking her own. She couldn’t imagine being a girl and not having the shopping gene that most were famous for. If she could, she would buy out the entire mall with all of its contents. Then again, if anybody tried to buy something that she wanted, she would yank it from their hands, claiming it as all hers. That wouldn’t go over well, but that would be the breaks.

“Stephanie?”

The four girls turned when they heard a male voice call out Stephanie’s name. Three jaws dropped at the sight of a gorgeous, dark haired man before them. He was hotter than most men they had ever seen, being tall and the perfect build. They all turned to Stephanie in sync in shock to see that she wasn’t even phased by the man as he approached them quickly. Stephanie just stood, greeting him when he got up to them.

“How’ve you been?” he asked, “It’s been awhile since I saw you.”

“Yeah, um...just off on tour with everybody. We um...just got back.”

“You never called me. How are things with you and Nick?”

Stephanie’s eyes clouded over, “We’re through. I walked in on him cheating on me after I met you. Sooo...it’s over. So, so over.”

“I’m sorry,” Brad offered sincerely, “Is there anything I can do?”

Stephanie shrugged, slightly uncomfortable. True, she had considered dating this man had she been single at the time. It was just too weird running in to him though. She had just thrown his number out not even a week before. Was it fate that they were supposed to be together? She honestly wasn’t sure. Part of her wanted nothing to do with men, but then again Brad had been so sweet and just...mysterious. He still seemed to be somber, however just as Stephanie remembered, they glowed. She felt herself being drawn in to him all over again, despite how much she didn’t want to be.

“Are you still working at the restaurant?” Stephanie asked him.

“Nah. I was fired for getting my schedule mixed up and not showing up one day. I got a better job at a higher class restaurant anyways,” he grinned for a second before saying, “I have wondered about you though. You look great...and healthy. So does the little one.” he nodded to her stomach.

“Thank you...you look great too.”

There were another few moments of silence. It was somewhat uncomfortable, as the situation was awkward. Never in a million years had Stephanie expected to see Brad again and honestly hadn’t even thought of him other than when she’d found his number. Again, her mind could only come up with one exclamation. Fate.

“So, maybe I am being too bold asking this, but how would you like to get together sometime? Just the two of us?”

“Um, okay?” Stephanie replied with a smile.

“Great,” he dug a pen out of his pocket. Grabbing her hand, Brad wrote his number on it again as if he knew that she’d rid of it without asking, “Give me a call when you’re open. It was nice seeing you again, Steph.”

“You too...” she let her voice trail off.

Brad gave a slight wave as he started to walk away. Stephanie just watched in shock, wondering what had just happened. The world around her didn’t exist and she was oblivious to everything. The gorgeous man had asked her out and once again, against her rules of dating, she’d accepted. Somehow, this felt right though. It wasn’t as if Nick was an option any longer. He still wanted his nasty ex...

“What was that about?”

“Huh?” Stephanie turned and jumped slightly, forgetting all about her friends being there. She blushed slightly, something that was very un-Stephanie like, “Just a guy I met back when I was at three months...me and Nick were still together.”

“Oooohhh.” her three friends chimed at the same time in a teasing manner.

“Stop it. It’s nothing.” Stephanie tried to convince them.

“It didn’t look like nothing. Looks like he has a thing for you.” Jaime laughed

“No...we’re just friends,” Stephanie replied, her voice giving away that it was more than that, “We’re just going out with friends.” she said again as her heart pounded in her chest. Even as she said it though, Stephanie knew that it was more than that as she thought, Ah, who am I kidding, because in reality...she liked Brad...a lot.

Chapter Six

“Well, here goes nothing...” Nick mumbled as he saw his ex girlfriend making her way in to the local Starbucks coffee house. He stood up ready to greet her like a gentleman. The woman looked the same as she always had to Nick. She approached him and pulled him in to a warm hug, completely ignoring the hand he’d stretched out only intending to shake hers, “Hi, Willa. How are you?”

“I’m good,” she replied as she took a seat at the small table, “Thanks for agreeing to meet me here.” she stated with a smile.

Nick just shrugged. He felt highly uncomfortable being near the woman. It kept coming back to his mind again and again that she was the sole reason for his failed relationship. If it hadn’t been for his stupidity, then none of this would even be happening. But here he was, with her again. It didn’t matter that it was as just acquaintances. That was besides the point. She’d screwed him over in more ways than one.

“So, um...you look well.” she smiled sweetly at him, “Gorgeous as ever. Then again, you’ll be one of those sixty year olds on the beach having young girls all over you thinking you’re thirty.” she laughed.

“Thanks...you um...you look good yourself,” Nick mentioned as he nodded towards her taking a sip of his coffee to keep his hands occupied.

“So, you’re still wearing that as a disguise, huh?” she laughed and clicked her tongue, “That goofy hat with the shaggy brown hair popping out from underneath. I suppose it’s done you good so far though.”

Again, Nick shrugged. Things were definitely tense. That much was obvious. God, how he hated being there with her. Neither had a thing in the world to say. What was even the point? Nick didn’t feel that there was one, however he had to remind himself that for some unknown reason, he’d agreed to meet Willa there. She looked the same as ever to him, but he was sure that evil still lied beneath the surface. After all, evil never died. Evil was hard to rid of.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Nick asked after another minute of silence.

“Just wanted to catch up,” Willa smiled, “We’ve always been able to talk so well..I don’t see why things had to change because of a breakup.”

Nick snorted, “Maybe because you used and manipulated me and then threw me to the curb? We broke up years ago. There is no rule book that said that we had to keep in touch. People break up all of the time and never speak to one another again.”

“True, but I don’t want that to be us.” Willa soothed, “We’ve been apart now for some time...I think it’s okay for us to be friends or at least be civil to each other.”

Nick sighed. Why couldn’t the woman just leave him alone? Then again, it would make life more bearable if he had somebody to talk to. Sure, the guys were great...but most of them had girlfriends and there were some things that he just couldn’t share with them. Some things he couldn’t share with the girls, whom were also his friends. It would be great to just have one person to be able to confide things in. True, Willa probably wasn’t the most trustworthy person in the world, but just maybe...

‘So, how is Kevin doing?” she asked, interrupting Nick’s train of thought, “Last I knew...you were just about to tour again and he was still...um...in the wheelchair. I haven’t seen him though...” she let her voice trail off suggestively, hinting for Nick to fill her in with the information she was looking for.

“Kev in doing alright,” Nick sighed, “He did great on tour. He had a doctors appointment a few days ago. It kind of got him down because the news wasn’t so good.” he sighed, “I think he’ll be alright though..at least mentally.”

Willa gave Nick a sympathetic smile. He didn’t know if it was sincere or not though. She seemed genuine enough, but then again...Nick had thought exactly that the entire time he’d been dated her though, and look where it had gotten him? A bruised heart and a bad reputation for some time with lies that she had spread about him and people had believed. It had taken him months to convince the public that he was not bad and that nothing was true. What made him thing that she could be trusted this time? Nick didn’t know, but some sort of gut feeling was telling him that he could, for some odd reason.

“That’s too bad,” Willa mentioned, “He’s such a strong man. I’m sure he’ll be fine. And that girlfriend of his is there for him. He has her support to get through it.”

“Anna.” Nick said her name as he nodded his head, “She’s been amazing for his confidence and mindset. If it wasn’t for that girl...then I don’t know where Kevin would be. I...I’m af...afraid to know.” his voice quavered slightly at the thought of the man he looked up to, his role model, the one person who’d influenced him more than anybody ever knew, not being around any longer. It was a scary thought.

“Things definitely wouldn’t be the same...” Willa admitted, “Kevin’s always been a great one to talk to. I know that he never cared much for me, but when we were having problems...the first time...I went to him for advice. He actually gave me some really good advice.”

Nick’s eyes widened in surprise, “You...you went to Kevin about us?”

Willa nodded her head, “Well, yeah. I didn’t want to lose you and didn’t know what to do on my own. Things fell to shit anyways though. It wasn’t right away. Things were great for a little while again,” she sighed, “Point is, he always tries to help people out. He’s lucky to have all of you and Anna to return the favor.”

Nick smiled at Willa...his first real smile since they’d met up. Was it possible that the woman wasn’t so bad after all? It seemed to him that just maybe she had changed. The thing was, Nick felt that it had even though he had some reservations for being hurt or humiliated again. The tension was gone though and surprisingly, he was having an easy time talking to her now. Just like old time, they were communicating on a mature level with ease. Nick hated to admit it, but as he sat talking to the woman, he was actually having a good time. Maybe too good of a time, but a good time none the less. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to make him realize that he would be meeting her again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, what kind of dress are you looking for?” a bridal consultant named Debra asked Jaime as she led her and her three friends through the rows of white and off white, “Traditional, elegant, full, straight cut...” her voice trailed to give the bride to be a moment to think of what she wanted for her big day.

“I really don’t know,” Jaime bit her lip and laughed nervously, “They’re all so beautiful...wow.” she smiled at the thought of marrying AJ...her Alexander James McLean, the one and only and he had chosen her. Who would have thought? “I guess that we’ll just pick out a few and go from there.”

Debra nodded her head as she started at the end of a long row pulling off both some full gowns and some that were just straight. Some were busy with beautiful bead design, or layers or even lace and others were nearly plain but gorgeous in their own way. Once she had a few of each draped over her arm, she led Jaime to a dressing room to try them on, hanging the gowns up neatly. She exited the room, closing the solid red-wood door behind her.

“Call me if you need anything in a different size or just more gowns to try on.” the woman called through the door.

“Okay!” Jaime called back perkily, her voice showing her excitement about the whole situation of getting married.

This caused Gloria, Anna and Stephanie to all laugh as Debra walked away to help somebody else while her client was in the dressing room. It was a good bet that they were all picturing what Jaime was going to look like in her first dress. With her short stature and petite frame, she really couldn’t go wrong. The point of the day was to just look...no intentions of buying anything until they ventured off to other stores to see the selections.

“I can’t believe our little Jaime is getting married,” Anna smiled, “Who knew she’d be the first to tie the knot. She’s going to look so gorgeous in a wedding dress walking down the isle...” she let her voice trail off as a tear of happiness formed in the corner of her eye. She wiped it away gingerly as she noticed the look of disbelief that Stephanie was giving her, “What?”

“You’re such a sap. And dresses are evil...no way in hell will I be caught dead in a frilly, white dress that...” she stopped when one of the workers in the store walked past them eying her up and down in distaste, “Well...dresses are not my thing.”

“I’m with you there,” Gloria agreed with a nod of her head, “I think when I get married, it will be in a white dressy suit. If my husband to be wants to see a dress, he’s going to have to be the one wearing it!”

“Now that will be a sight to see!” Stephanie cracked, “Have him walk down the isle while Here Comes The Bride is being played on the organ.

This caused all three girls to crack up laughing, each picturing Howie in a full white dress, clip on earrings and a veil to finish the outfit off. True, the relationship was new and plans of wedding bells for the two weren’t even close to being in the picture yet. Since that was who the girl was with though, that was the man they pictured dressed in bridal shop drag. It produced a rather morbid, disturbing image to all of them. So disturbing that they didn’t even see their friend emerge from the dressing room in the first of what would be a long line of dresses to model for them.

‘Excuse me!” she exclaimed loudly to catch their attention, and when she had it, spun around so that they could all see the full effect, “What do you think of this one?”

“It’s pretty!” Gloria exclaimed.

“You look like a princess!” Anna agreed

“You look like the dress at you!” Stephanie stated in astonishment, “It is way too much material for as small as you are...something simpler, honestly.”

Jaime looked down at the dress that was flowing in layers of a creamy white color going off to the side. At the waist, where the layers all came together neatly was a white flower. The dress was strapless, but the top was tight fitting across her generous breast. To be honest, Jaime had felt lost within the dress from the second she’d stepped in to it.

“Yeah...I’m thinking the same...like it is this huge mound of white with a head and some arms trying to find their way out.” she stated her own opinion, “Plus, I’d need to have the shit altered out of the damned thing.”

“Honey, you’re gonna need the shit altered out of any of these dresses here or anywhere for that matter!” Anna joked, causing everyone to laugh at the honesty behind it all.

“Oh, bite me!” Jaime complained as she flipped off her friends in an all-for-fun manner.

“Oh, cute...that’ll win over just about anybody...a bride going around flipping people off...how sweet!” Gloria hooted, causing the laughter to start all over again. Even Jaime couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t thing that anything could ruin her mood.

“Ah, well...I’m going to get out of this thing and try on the next one...I guess I can rule out anything full.”

Nobody replied because when it came down to it, they kind of agreed. True, she’d looked really pretty and like a princess, but it was felt that something either hardly full or just straight cut would be better. They were glad that Jaime had the same thoughts so that she would buy the absolute best dress for her and not what she liked off of the rack and still on the hanger.

After nearly two dozen dresses being put on and taken off while what was agreed to be three of her bridesmaids talked, Jaime stepped out of the dressing room one final time. At that moment, it was as if all of the world stopped. They were speechless as she twirled around for them to see. This gown screamed Jaime’s name, fitting her every curve in just the right places. It was a shade of off white so subtle that it might as well have been white, but when the light hit it at all the right angles it shined. The design was simple, going full length to the floor all the way around however it was straight cut. It had sleeves that were short and draped low on to her shoulders with just a little bit of puff to give it some character.

“Oh my god...” Anna finally found her voice, “It’s perfect....absolutely stunning on you.”

“I know!” Jaime stated, “It feels so right this time..just...” she paused, “I’m getting it.”

“I thought we were just looking today?” Stephanie reminded them, “It is the best one so far, but what about other stores?”

Jaime shrugged it off, “I can’t find anything this great anywhere else...and if I don’t get it now, it may not be here in a few months. Me and AJ...we’re going to be married in less than a year. The choice is final...I’m getting it...after twenty-eight dresses...I’ve found my calling.”

“Are you sure?” Stephanie asked, just wanting to make sure before Jaime made the important decision and then changed her mind once it was too late.

Jaime nodded her head though in response though without a second thought. True, she may be rushing in to it, but she absolutely loved the dress and wasn’t taking any chances. Before anybody had a chance to try and make her changer her mind again, Jaime was off to find Debra to make alteration arrangements. She was one step closer to making her wedding come to life and nothing could change the excitement within her to die down.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Don’t open your eyes until I say so.” Howie whispered in to Gloria’s ear as he kissed the back of her neck from behind, leading her in to some unknown place.

“Kind of hard for me to open my eyes when your hands are covering them so tightly, dear.” Gloria cracked somewhat sarcastically.

This caused her boyfriend to chuckle lightly. In response, Gloria laughed as well. It was a nervous laugh though, as she had absolutely no clue what Howie had up his sleeve. She hadn’t even had much notice for the ‘date’, for he’d called her up and asked if she was free. When she had said yes, he had informed her that he would be by to pick her up in two hours and to wear something dressy. Other than that, he’d been mysterious about the entire thing.

“Just a few more steps,” Howie promised, sensing her anxiety. He could only imagine what was running through her mind. When he had picked her up, he had given her a bouquet of daisies and a box of some of the finest chocolates from Godiva. She’d definitely been surprised. Part two of his surprise he hoped would be even better...

“You aren’t leading me to a cliff and then going to push me over and off my ass, are you?” Gloria joked lightly.

“Only you, Glor...only you.” Howie shook his head even though she couldn’t see it, “You’re too special to me to do something so horrible to.” he promised her and suddenly he stopped, “Okay, you can open your eyes.” he gently slid his hands off of her eyes and waited for a reaction. It was only a few seconds before he heard a light gasp as her own hands clasped over her mouth in astonishment, “What do you think?”

Gloria didn’t reply right off, as she was in complete awe at what he’d set up for her. It was obvious that they were in a restaurant. A rather classy restaurant. He had reserved their own separate room though, away from the rest of the place. White french style doors were drawn shut with elegant shades pulled to create a romantic, dim setting. The only light being produced was from the candles lining the room all over of all different heights and thicknesses. They were all over the floor with a path for them to walk to the table, which was made of iron in an old design that looked like something from centuries ago. Place on top of it in the center were three more candles. The whole thing was simple, yet the beauty of it touched Gloria’t heart more than anything ever had.

“Wow...Howie.” she blinked back tears as she turned around, giving him a kiss, “You’re turning me in to such a sap with your romantic ways.” she sighed happily as she looked him over. He definitely looked handsome in his full suit, his curly brown locks short and perfect around his head and face.

“So you like it?” he asked as he took her in to his arms to hold her lightly and close to his body, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

‘I love it.” Gloria approved, “What’s the special occasion though?”

“Our four months together.” Howie said without thought, “And...well...because I love you.”

Gloria drew back in shock at his last confession. It was the first time he’d told her those three meaningful words. She had been longing to tell him for a month now, but like most other girls, had been nervous. She figured that he could tell her first and only then would she reply. Here it was though and at the best moment that she could ever imagine. Four months...wow. Time had flown by.

“You do?” Gloria found herself asking softly without thinking. Howie nodded as he smiled at her, stroking her cheek with his forefinger, “I...I love you too Howie.” he just smiled in response as if he’d known it all along.

“So, um..since we haven’t really had any true time alone...I figured that now would be the perfect change,” Howie told her as he took her hand and lead her to one of the chairs at the table, pulling it out for her. She accepted, sitting down and he rounded the table to take his own seat, “I hope that I made it worth your time.”

Just as Gloria was about to answer, three men dressed in suites came through a back door holding violins. They played soft music that was soothing and romantic both as they took seats in a corner, reading off of music sheets. It was obvious that Howie really had put a lot of thought in to the night for her and it showed. The last touch was like the icing on the cake, making the whole evening tie together in to the perfect package of Howie showing his love, devotion and adoration for her. She honestly couldn’t have thought of anything more that would have made the evening better, as Howie had thought of it all.

“It is definitely worth my time...” Gloria promised, “Thank you...it’s amazing. I mean, I would have been happy with a quarter pounder with cheese at McDonalds with one candle on the table.”

Howie just laughed, “You’re too good for that, Gloria. You deserve the best.” He took her hands in to his, kissing her fingertips and Gloria blushed again.

For a few minutes, everything was silent as Howie opened up his menu, Gloria taking it as cue to do the same. She kept looking up at Howie from the top of her menu though, unable to help herself and a few times, their eyes caught because of him doing the same. Each time his brown eyes met her jade ones, they exchanged a smile. There was something different about this than every other night they’d spent together. Howie had a new glow to him, his eyes a new sparkle twinkling within the depths of them. Maybe it was just the glow of the candles reflecting off of his face, or maybe it was because their relationship was taking off to new levels. Either way though, they had something special and there was something fresh and different about that night.

This was truly the single most romantic night of her life and Howie had made it possible. All she could do was stare at him and think of how lucky she was at having such a great guy in her life as their server came up and took their orders, but Savannah already had what she wanted, for she was all filled up with happiness and love that Howie had brought in to her life.

Chapter Seven

“So, what would you like to do?” Brad asked Stephanie as he held her hand, their arms swinging ever so slightly with the sway of their walk, “I want to make our first date memorable and special...so that you’ll want to see me again.”

Stephanie burst out laughing. She realized that his man really didn’t know her at all. If he did, he’d know that he didn’t have to try to impress her. All he had to do was be himself, be true, and respect her and chances were, she would give him the chance to see what he was all about. Well, maybe. Beings Nick had completely betrayed her trust, and she’d given up her ‘no dating’ rule for him, Stephanie didn’t know what she would do about Brad. She figured just go with the flow, take things slow, and if something formed, then great, if not, she reserved herself for not being hurt again.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Huh?” Stephanie looked at Brad with her mouth hanging open. She realized that she’d lost herself in her own train of though and laughed to herself, “Just...don’t try too hard. It doesn’t take much to impress me...in fact...I’m amused by little things. You could take me to a fucking petting zoo and I’d be happy. So...just...be yourself and you’ll be fine.”

Brad smiled and Stephanie was somewhat taken aback. His eyes glittered even more than usual but something about them still held a secret that she was dying to find out. It was really the first real smile she’d seen from him in the whole two times she’d been near him. If she had to admit it, his smile was catching and addicting. Just something about it drew her in even further, and against her will yet. Maybe it was the suspense behind him, but she knew that she’d be sticking around to find out, as he also had somewhat of a ‘bad boy’ image about him through his gorgeous looks. The man was hard to explain and definitely the opposite of Nick. He was more serious. More intellectual. Nick had been fun and well..not so much intellectual. This would definitely be different. Challenging even, for she could carry on an actual in depth conversation with him. Stephanie decided that she was up for that challenge.

“So how would going to a dance club sound?” he asked her, “Let loose, dance, just have fun.”

“Your call,” Stephanie shrugged, “Surprise me.”

Brad laughed as they continued to walk. The girl was definitely headstrong and stubborn. It was a refreshing quality though. Most girls he knew went along with everything that their boyfriends said. If the guy wanted to go to a car show, the girl said ‘okay’ whether she really wanted to or not. Either that it was the other extreme. The guy had to do everything the girl wanted, which generally was stuff that should be done for chicks night out. The girl making him make the choice and just ‘surprise’ her showed him that she was easy-going generally and had a wide variety of interests.

He let go of her hand as he reached up, running his fingers through her blonde hair. The feeling was soft to touch and he felt lucky to be with such an incredible woman. Ever since he’d met her back at the restaurant, he’d thought of her occasionally, wondering why she never called. Destiny had brought them together again, and it didn’t even bother him that she was six months pregnant. In fact, to Brad, there was just something completely sexy about it.

“So,” Stephanie mentioned, “Why were you so solemn back when I met you a few months ago...but now, you’re a completely different person?”

Brad hesitated for a moment. He usually wasn’t very happy. He was usually polite but solemn. He joked around, but didn’t smile while doing so. He just kept a straight face, going about his business. It was something he’d become accustomed to. He wasn’t sure how to explain it, but Stephanie had definitely been a positive, good change in his life. A life that he’d been slipping in to for years and she had pulled him from the dark path.

“I’m not sure. I guess because nothing good was happening for me. My mother died when I was small, and it caused me to do poorly in school. I was kicked off of the football team, have had more DUI’s than I can count on one hand,” he laughed nervously, “I was forced to take classes and am fine now. The sadness just never went away.”

There was a long silence for a few moments and Brad got nervous, wondering if his honesty had scared her. His life hadn’t exactly been glamorous. He’d been in trouble with the police many times for various things. He’d been nothing but trouble and now he was paying for it with every day that he breathed. He was in debt and working next to nothing paying jobs just to try to dig himself out. That was another story for later on. Something he would confess to her if she chose to see him again.

“I’m sorry that things haven’t been great for you,” Stephanie replied finally, “I won’t hold it against you. My past hasn’t been the best either. Coming out here and going around with the Boys has been a new start for me. My parents were always at the bars leaving me to pay their bills with night jobs I was forced to take. They were rarely sober. I don’t know...I guess I just understand where you’re coming from.”

Brad smiled again, letting out a sigh of relief. Unlike most girls he’d met, he had a good feeling that this one wasn’t going anywhere. They had much in common and had pasts that most wouldn’t even wish on their worst enemy. With Stephanie, Brad felt that he could be his true self and not hold back or hide anything. Sugar coating things had been what he’d done his entire life, and in a sense, he felt that Stephanie had done the same to protect herself. Both had issues with trusting people completely, and until they did, they didn’t open up and tell a whole lot. Brad trusted her though from the start...

“Well, here we are.” Brad stated about half a mile later as they came up to a series of clubs in the club district of downtown. He opened the door, holding it there, “After you.”

“Wow...a true gentleman.” she teased lightly as she entered the club.

Brad followed close behind her and he snaked his arms around her waist as they were ID’ed and then given wrist bands to show that they were, in fact, over 21 and of age. After going through a small, narrow hallway that was darkened, they came out on the other side where all of the action was taking place. The entire time, loud music thundered through the building making the walls and floor vibrate.

Brad took Stephanie’s hand and led her to the center of the dance floor where there was a clearing big enough for two and they danced, Stephanie showing off her talent with something she’d had a lot of practice with. Already, she was having a great time, this being one of the best nights she’d had in a long time, and Brad had made that possible.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What are you doing, baby.” Jaime asked AJ as she walked in on him looking through a thick magazine-type thing. She sat down next to him, cuddling in to his lean side as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend, kissing her cheek affectionately. She looked down at the book and gasped at the bright pictures on the pages, ‘Wow...” she breathed, “Pretty.”

AJ laughed, “I’m glad you think so...because I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this.” she looked at him in curiosity, “About where we are going to have our wedding at. You said the beach. These are all of the options that we have...from all over the world.”

Jaime pulled away, slightly taken aback by his confession. She hadn’t even had to pry and hint around about making plans. The man was doing it willingly and on his own time. This caused her heart to swell with even more love for the man. She couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Jaime McLean. It would be just one more declaration of their love for one another. One more expression of it added to a list that continued to grow by the day.

“Somewhere tropical would be nice,” she said softly, “Hawaii, the Carribean...Cancun.”

AJ chuckled as he opened up a few pages that he had bookmarked. Each place she’d already named off was folded over, the beaches of then leaving her speechless and breathless by their beauty. On some of them, there were palm trees nearby, the waters a light shad of clean blue, the sands a pure white showing that they were clean and well taken care of. The sand looked soft to the touch instead of somewhat rough and jagged. And AJ already knowing what she wanted topped it all off. He knew her inside and out, took the time to actually get to know her. It was a quality that she loved and she hoped that they spent the rest of their lives getting to know one another.

‘You’re too good to me,” Jaime sighed happily, “I don’t know which I like better,” she paused before grinning evilly, “How about we just get married at each one. We could have three wedding nights with three times the pleasure and three honeymoons...” her voice lingered as she kissed him behind his earlobe seductively to purposely turn the man on.

“Mmmm...” AJ moaned, pleasured by the small gesture, “I think you’re asking to get pregnant again, little lady.”

This caused Jaime to burst out laughing. She’d just had a baby not more than nine months before. Her body was still healing from the trauma of childbirth. Having another this soon probably wouldn’t be in her best interest. Just the fact that AJ was speaking of them having more though in the future together told her that he was in this for the long-run. He hugged her affectionately as he laid the page of Cancun out.

“So what do you think of this one?” he asked her, “The scenery is gorgeous, the weather is always nice. The beach is astounding. It is far enough away so that it is different from our everyday life but close enough so that our friends and family can come out...” he wiggled his eyebrows, “And, if we see it fitting, we can just stay a little longer and make a honeymoon out of it.”

“I think that sounds perfect.” Jaime told him honestly, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I can’t wait to marry you. My only regret is not proposing sooner.” AJ replied, “You are my everything.”

Jaime closed her eyes and smiled in content happiness. AJ’s sweetness was unreal. She believed that he felt that he wanted to take their relationship to a higher level of commitedness, but the fact that he’d waited made her know that he was serious and it wasn’t just an act of lust, being caught up in the moment. It was out of love. True, honest to God love. Just the way she’d always imagined it would be. Her wildest dream was coming true.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Jaime said after the long pause when she knew that it was the response that AJ was looking for, “Then we can do whatever we want...fuck...we do whatever we want now.”

This caused AJ to laugh loudly, “Very true,” he breathed in to her ear, “I think we should do it soon though. Set the date for soon...” he mentioned, “When do you think is a realistic time. One month...two?”

“Hardly..” Jaime giggled, “As much as I’d love to tie the knot this weekend, there’s still a lot of planning to do.” she paused thoughtfully as she wracked her brain for everything that needed done and a rough estimate if they hurried, “I’d say realistically...four months.”

This caused AJ to break out in to a huge smile. In just over one hundred days, he could be married, sharing his life, his love, his name with the beautiful woman before him. He knew that the Boys would think that he was way in over his head, but the fact of the matter was...he needed her in his life and didn’t want to lose her or waste any time. He had visions of them growing old together, sharing their golden fiftieth wedding anniversary together. Going to visit grandchildren and great grandchildren. He could see it all.

Reaching over, AJ picked up the phone next to him. He dialed the number on the page, bringing it to his ear as it rang just a few times. Somebody answered and soon AJ was speaking to them, completely ready to book an exact date for their wedding.

“Hello,” he greeted, “My name’s Alexander McLean. I’d like to set a date to marry my fiancé at your location.” there was a pause, “We’d like to go for about four months from now...” another pause, “Mmm...Okay....alright. That sounds great.” there was another moment of silence, “No, we have everything else under control. Just need a judge to marry us.” one more pause before, “Alright. Thank you very much. See you then.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Jaime with a smile on his face that couldn’t even be pulled off with a tow truck. She searched his eyes, trying to read what was going on and the information that he held and was torturing her with by making her wait. It wasn’t long though before he was unable to contain his excitement, spilling information that she’d been dying to have revealed. Information about their future.

“How does September sevententh sound?” AJ asked her.

Jaime thought for a moment. It was now in the beginning of May...which meant just over four and a half months. She nodded in approval, the date sounding like music to her ears. It was set in stone. Something to look forward to. There was no turning back time and Jaime honestly wouldn’t want to for anything in the world. The dream was becoming a reality just by the push of a few simple buttons and a phone call that would change both of their lives.

“I say that I can’t wait.” Jaime whispered in to his ear softly, her heart beating wildly in anticipation for what the future would bring.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Open mine next!” Anna exclaimed in excitement as she picked up her gift for Stephanie, shoving it in to her friends face.

Stephanie eyed Anna cautiously before saying, “I only have two hands. Jeez!” she shook her head and laughed, taking the large box out of Anna’s hands, “Didja get me a new TV?” she asked jokingly as she looked at the box that was big enough to fit at least a twenty-inch screen television.

Anna laughed, unable to wait for her pregnant friend to open the gift. It was filled with all sorts of goodies for mommy and baby. Yes, the point of that day was for a baby shower for Stephanie, whom was six and a half months along. The gathering was small, consisting of just Jaime, Gloria and Anna surprising Stephanie. She definitely had been surprised when Anna had asked the girl to come over to fix the computer, since she was the most computer intelligent out of the bunch. Stephanie had been hesitant, but Anna had begged and pleaded, leaving the blonde grumbling about it the entire way over. Imagine her face when she knocked on the door and was led through the house only to have they all yell “SURPRISE” It was then that she realized that it had been a set up.

“How many damned layers of paper are on this thing?” Stephanie asked nervously, half way afraid that a stripper would jump from the box, “Oh, thank God!” she breathed when she realized that it was the end of the unwrapping. She then unfolded the flaps of the lid, pulling out the first of many things. It was a rather sexy piece of lingerie in a deep ruby red, “Ummm...thanks. Because I just have somebody so special to wear this for.” she teased sarcasticlly.

“Well, by the time you have baby and get your shape back, you’ll be pretty romantically involved will mall boy.”

Stephanie eyed Anna cautiously before stating with a shake of her head, “You really worry me sometimes. And his name is Brad.”

“Yes, well...we know that you and Brad have gone out a few times.” Jaime teased her friend, “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you like each other and are getting closer.”

“Yeah, well...” Stephanie blushed, something that she never did. They figured that it was a weird side effect of pregnancy, but still.

Ignoring the looks that she was getting, Stephanie dug in to the box again. Next, she pulled out a baby blanket that was in shades of dark and light blue mixed with some aqua. It was really pretty and obvious that Anna had knit it herself, for there were a few minor imperfections along the edges. It was adorable though and in the perfect size so that her baby could use it for a good few years. Next was a tiny baby mobile that was custom made with little Backstreet Boys dangling from it. When wound, it played the song Spanish Eyes, which was one of the slower songs that was just soft and sweet. She looked up at Anna, giving her another strange look.

‘What?’ she asked defensively, “Boy or girl, it has to be a fan!” she exclaimed with a smile, “Start it off early, because with us around it...trust me...the kid is gonna have to be!”

Stephanie just shook her head, going to look in further to the box to find some clothes in shades of green and yellow and a baby blue...colors that could be take for a little boy or girl. She smiled, but it was a sad smile a she put all of the things back in to the box, placing it down on the floor beside her. Their friend had been happy up until that point, but her mood changing suddenly hinted that something deeper was wrong.

“Are you okay?” Gloria asked her.

“Yeah...I guess so.” Stephanie replied, but when she got three skeptical looks, she said more, “I’m just getting worried about having this baby. I mean...I don’t want to be a single parent. I’m worried that I can’t handle it.”

“You’ll be great,” Jaime enthused, “Kids love you!”

Stephanie shrugged, “Yeah, well...I’m fine babysitting...but this is a full time responsibility. Brad said he would help me out...but that could change...” some tears started to fall from her eyes, another quality that was rare for Stephanie. She roughly wiped them from her eyes, “Damn these pregnancy hormones.” she forced a smile and a light laugh.

There were a few moments of silence as Stephanie’s friends hugged her in comfort, letting her get all of her frustrations out during her mini emotional breakdown. They had a feeling that she’d been keeping all of this locked away inside for some time now, just needed a shoulder to cry on but had been too embarrassed to admit it since she was usually so composed and the one who others went to for help. Stephanie was not one to lose her cool. That was, until that moment in time.

“I’m so sorry, guys.” she apologized once her tears had stopped.

“It’s okay...” Anna replied, “You’ve always been there for us...it is our turn to return the favor.”

“And you’ll be a great mother. You have nothing to worry about.” Jaime added, “You have the three of us to help you out the whole way.”

Stephanie smiled, still embarrassed with the effects this was having on her hormones. They were completely wacky, “Thanks guys,” she paused before grinning, “How about we get back to his party? That way, we can bring out the stripper already!”

Her friends groaned and rolled their eyes at Stephanie’s drastic mood swing as the small blonde grabbed another gift from the table before her. The next couple of months would be a roller coaster ride, to say the least.

Chapter Eight

“Brian, do you have an ace?” Kevin asked with a yawn as he looked down at his string of cards that he held in both hands. He had three aces so far, needing the fourth to make a set.

Brian looked up at his cousin with a smirk then glanced back down at his own cards. After a moment, he looked over the tops of them with just his eyes, “Go fish, couz.” he laughed when the older man cursed under his breath, picking up yet another card.

It was a guys night out and they’d decided to do something that most men did when they got together. Play card games. Unfortunately, once Nick had gotten involved, the playful boy had wanted to play ‘Go Fish’. It seemed that he was having the best time, laughing at everybody because for one, he was winning and two, he was enjoying the others getting frustrated with not having their way. It seemed that some of them were having fun, despite the grumpier of the remaining four Boys.

“For fucking Christ sake,” AJ muttered as he found that he was going to have to pull another card from the deck in the middle of the table, “Can’t we play something more mature and sophisticated. This is such a fucking babies game.”

“You’re just sour because you’re losing,” Brian laughed at his Latino friend, actually enjoying himself more than he’d thought that he would.

“No, I’m sour because I’m sick of playing games meant for ages three to ten because somebody doesn’t have the god damned attention span to play anything else.”

He looked over at Nick with a glare, who immediately got the hint. He hung his head low and stuck out his lip in a hurt pout. He felt somewhat bad for lashing out at the blonde, but couldn’t help his outburst. He and Jaime had made plans for that night, but her friends had drug her away for a baby shower for Stephanie. He figured that he could understand that or at least try to. After all, the girl was due in just a couple of months. It was just that he’d planned out a very special evening for her. Nothing that couldn’t be done another day easily, mind you. He’d just been excited. And then to make things even more against him, he’d been drug to Howie’s house for a card game. He had thought that maybe it would be fun to have just a guys night. That was, until the game started.

“Let’s just finish this game and then we can play solitaire or poker or something.” Howie suggested before a full blown argument broke out.

The others agreed, and AJ quietly apologized to Nick. He wasn’t paying attention though, his mind already wandering off to something else. For a few moments, they just played the game, no real conversation going on other than what was crucial and necessary for playing the game. When somebody spoke, the words being completely irrelevant, it took the others by surprise. It was a good change though.

“I’ve been meaning to ask everybody...” Kevin’s voice piped up, “I know that we just finished up a tour...but when would you like to start for a new tour? Recording...everything.”

Everybody looked up at Kevin, wondering if they’d heard him right. After all, this was the man who’d refused to tour for so long because he’d been paralyzed and didn’t want to swallow his pride. It seemed that he was thinking differently now though. The question was, why?

‘Are you sure you’re up to that?” Brian asked cautiously, “I mean...I figured we’d wait until you were walking again.”

“The doctor seems to think that my chances of that aren’t too great...and I love performing and singing too much to give it up. I guess I can live like this...and go on like I normally would.”

He saw a few looks of relief cross his friends faces. He admitted that he was relieved too that he was actually willing to look past his disability and get on with life as best he could. After all, he couldn’t exactly cower away for the rest of his life, afraid to take chances and give up something that he loved. That would just be stupid.

“Since we did just end...I say take some time off...maybe six months or so. Then maybe....depending on how things are going in our lives, start playing around with new music and sounds...writing lyrics in the meantime. Just kind of lay back and take it as it comes.” AJ replied.

“Agreed.” Nick piped up

‘Sounds good to me.” Kevin smiled. He’d been slightly nervous to bring up about getting back in to business with new material and everything. It had turned out great though. Everybody was on the same page in thoughts, which was an amazing thing to have. Kevin honestly couldn’t believe how well he and the guys had grown together and how well they connected. And to think that when they’d been thrust together in to the group, most of them had been pretty much strangers to one another with nearly a ten year gap between youngest and oldest.

“So what has everybody else been up to?” Howie asked, interested in how his best friends lives had been going. He already knew Kevin’s status from his latest doctors appointment, which was pretty much his life the past few weeks.Since they’d all become involved in relationships, having children and other factors of life, none of them had really gotten together much. He realized that their closeness wasn’t faltering, but none of them had really taken the time to stay involved and stay tuned in to what was happening in one another’s lives.

“Jaime and I have set a wedding date,” AJ informed them as he looked up from his cards, “September seventeenth. Ya’ll better fucking be there.” he warned with a joking smile as he pointed at his four best friends.

The others laughed good-naturedly. It was already known without saying that they would all be there, no questions asked. After all, AJ was like a brother to them. Chances were, they’d all be his best men, because Lord knew that AJ couldn’t pick just one. He loved them all equally, no questions asked. That’s just how it was, and had been for the past twelve and a half years. Nothing was going to change that.

“I’m kind of on speaking terms with Willa again...” Nick mentioned, deciding to share his latest news.

It was pretty sad that the news of Willa was the most exciting thing that he had to tell his friends. And the looks that they were giving him told him that it had been a mistake to bring up. Each man was staring at him as if he had lost his mind completely. Not just half way, or a little bit more...but full out lost his mind. He ducked his head low, suddenly humiliated with the fact. He already knew what his friends were going to say to him without asking. The vindictive, selfish woman had used him and left him high and dry.

“You’re joking, right?” Kevin asked the blonde, and when he shook his head, Kevin got a look of disgust on his face, ‘Nick...what are you thinking?” he didn’t wait for a response, “You aren’t. She screwed you over and now that Steph is gone...because you were hanging out with the woman...you’re going back to her. What...you think things will be different?”

‘We’re just friends.” Nick explained, “She called...and asked how things were. We met and talked...had a good time. It won’t hurt to be friends.” his features darkened, “Besides...it isn’t like Stephanie is coming back to me anyways.”

‘She sure as hell isn’t if she catches wind that you’re hanging out with the woman that destroyed your relationship in the first place,” AJ pointed out, “She’s being nice because she wants something...can’t you see that?”

Nick just scowled, looking at his friends in disbelief. He knew that their reactions wouldn’t be exactly enthusiastic, but they were pretty much saying that he was moronic. He was not expecting that.

“She’s sincere this time...” Nick stated his opinion, “I believe that...no bad intentions.”

‘Right,” Kevin replied, “And we’re going to decide to turn in to a country music group,”

Nick rolled his eyes at this, “Just tell me if you have a damned three,” he teased, just trying to get on with the game.

Kevin handed Nick the card he was looking for without a fight before saying with warning, “You’re going to get burned again, Nick. And when you do...we won’t be able to save you.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m so happy that you’re gaining some confidence,” Anna smiled at Kevin as they made their way in to a restaurant, “A few months ago, you wouldn’t be caught dead outside of the safety of your home.”

Kevin laughed as they waited at the host stand to be seated. This was true. Months ago, all he wanted to do was hide away from human contact and wallow in self pity. That phase was past him though, as he’d realized just how much of life he was missing out on by doing that. Since he’d decided to free himself from his home and take chances, going out and living like he would if he were still walking, he’d been a lot happier and more upbeat. His therapist saw it, his friends saw it, his family saw it...but more importantly, Anna saw it. She’d supported him so much throughout all of this, never once threatening to leave or give up on him. He felt that he owed it to her in return to show her that she wasn’t believing in a depressed, lost cause.

“Getting out on the road and touring kind of helped with that,” Kevin joked with a smile, reaching up to take Anna’s hand in his, “Being forced to go out on stage in front of thousands of people. Can’t exactly tour and sing if you’re hiding.”

Anna smirked at Kevin being a smartass, but loved that side of him. Just something about it was incredibly sexy, beings he was usually so serious and reserved the majority of the time. Anna had really never taken the time to think about it until then, but she and Kevin really were a strange couple. She was carefree, blunt and had a blonde streak that had been lasting for several years and still going. In a lot of ways, she was like Nick. Kevin, on the other hand...well, to stay that they were opposites would be a safe bet. Somehow though, they’d made a relationship work and it was a strong one. They were perfect for one another, despite their vast differences. The saying that ‘opposites attract’ was definitely true in this case.

Only seconds later, a hostess came up to them, leading the couple to a table near the front, feeling it would be easier for Kevin. As they got positioned behind the small table for two, Anna couldn’t help but stare across at Kevin as he got comfortable, smiling. He was so handsome and perfect to her in every single little way. There was nothing that she could think of that would make her feelings for him stronger or any trait that could make him even more ideal. He was her everything.

Taking a look around, Anna noticed how sweet and quiet the setting was. There was definitely a romantic feeling in the air. The place was dimly lit in an elegant type setting. The scent of warm brown sugar filled the air from the candles placed haphazardly around the place. It wasn’t strong, but just light enough to give the place an amazing smell. It was definitely a sweet gesture and like no place Anna had ever been before. What they were celebrating, Anna honestly wasn’t sure. It didn’t really matter. All that she cared for was that her Kevin was happy and healthy, getting better by the day.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Kevin said softly with a smile, “Absolutely breathtaking.”

Anna giggled nervously as she gazed in to his eyes, really not knowing how to respond to the complement. Before Kevin, nobody had ever really complemented her. Once in awhile, a guy had told her she looked pretty, but five minutes later, they’d been trying to get in to her pants. That had resulted in them squealing like a little girl when she’d kneed them hard in the balls. The one night stand thing or a relationship based on sex was not something she’d been in to. Maybe that was why none of her relationships had worked out before this...

“Are you okay, Anna?”

“Oh, yes...I’m fine.” Anna smiled convincingly, “You’re just too sweet to me, is all.”

Kevin was about to reply when a family walked by, a child no more than five years old running along behind them. He stopped though, staring at Kevin in intense curiosity for a moment before his small voice came out loudly and strong, pointing right at Kevin without any desecration at all, whatsoever.

“Mommy!” he exclaimed, “Why is the man in that wheelchair?”

The mother of the child stopped, grabbing at her child’s hand as she pulled him along, bending down to whisper something shrilly in his ear, but even as she did so, she too stared at Kevin. It was obvious where the kid got his rude ways, which had caused Kevin’s bright smile and sparkling eyes to turn sullen. It was apparent that the crude comments had struck some sort of sensitive nerve within Kevin. Something that had been tucked away securely as come self-assured confidence had come in to play. Now, it seemed a little of that was slipping away from Kevin by the helpless look in his eyes. Anna was desperate to convince him otherwise though, searching her brain for something soothing to say.

“He’s just a kid, baby. Don’t even pay attention to that.” she finally spoke, reaching across the table to grab his hand and rub them in soothing comfort..

“But it isn’t just him...I see the way people have been looking at me all night. Children just don’t have the common sense to know not to speak it...or maybe they have the bravery to say out loud what adults don’t have the guts to.”

Anna sighed sadly. She really wanted to walk up to the kid, wrap her hand around his neck, and shake him good. She truly wasn’t in to child abuse, but when it came to Kevin, she found that she got extremely protective. It was in her natural instinct. Especially since the smallest thing brought out the heavier side of Kevin’s insecurity. She could see it in his emerald eyes at that moment and could only imagine what kind of negative thoughts were running through his head. Chances were, they were things that weren’t even close to being true. Bringing her boyfriends hands up to her mouth, Anna kissed them gently.

“You are amazing, Kevin. They only act rudely because they don’t know how to act. They don’t know you like I do. Please believe me. You’re the best.”

Kevin couldn’t help but smile at Anna’s reassurance, knowing that she was speaking from her heart. That was the problem though. It seemed that only she could see what was still deep within him. Something that had never left him, even in spite of the accident. Everybody else just saw him as damaged goods, and his ego deflated a little bit more as another kid walked by giving him a peculiar stare, causing Kevin to want to furrow back in to the shell that had taken so long to break.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Go to mama,” AJ cooed happily in to Lauren’s ear as Jaime waited at the bottom of a slide in the local park for their nine month old daughter to come down to her, “Go to mama, LaurLaur.”

Lauren whimpered as she clung to her daddies neck, looking down the small slide in fear, the height looking like a mountain to her, when in reality, the slide was only five feet long. It was the perfect size for a child as young as Lauren. AJ looked over to the taller, steeper slide. He wondered what her reaction would be if they took her over there. He found himself smiling as he kissed Lauren’s cheek adoringly.

“It’ll be fun, baby girl.” he promised, “I’ll show you.”

He took Lauren in his arms, climbing up the slide himself as he placed her in his lap, holding her securely in place with one arm. Jaime just stepped back, an amused smile on her face as she watched her fiancé and daughter come down the slide together, laughing at how ridiculous the man looked on the tiny slide. Her heart warmed over though when she heard Lauren laughing in delight. AJ stood up, hugging Lauren in his arms, the image picture perfect. She suddenly wished she had a camera to capture the moment, but reminded herself that her daughter wasn’t even a year old and there would be plenty of opportunities for pictures.

Walking over to AJ and Lauren, Jaime reached out for the infant, and AJ handed her in to her mothers arms. The little girls bright eyes glowed with happiness, her sweet coo ringing out. To bystanders, it would be safe to assume that the family was happy and perfect. That was definitely the truth too. Behind closed walls, nothing was different.

“Dada.” Lauren cooed, pointing a chubby little hand towards the slide, reaching her arms out towards it.

AJ and Jaime both laughed at her sudden change in interest for the playground. It was just like a typical infant to have no interest in something at all and then seconds later, that was all their attention span was on. Lauren was on exception as she started to pout when she found that she was getting no closer to the slide.

“So, what do you think of being a father, Alex,” Jaime asked, finding it adorable how their daughter was such a daddies girl. She handed her back in to AJ’s arms, knowing that it was where she wanted to be, “Is it what you thought?”

‘Better,” AJ said without hesitation and with complete honesty, “I can’t imagine anything ever feeling more rewarding...” his voice trailed off for a moment before he asked, “What do you think of being a mommy?”

Jaime didn’t answer right away. She just watched AJ and Lauren with a smile on her face. True, at the age of twenty-one years of age, Jaime would have never thought she’d be a mother and about to be married. In fact, she’d expected to be half way through a four year degree in collegel, guys and children the absolute last thing on her mind. She’d expected to still live at home, or either that crammed in to a living environment, sharing an apartment with six people with only two bedrooms. Her life had definitely taken an unexpected turn, but the way she saw it, it had all been for the better.

“I love being a mommy,” she replied finally when she saw AJ’s chocolate eyes staring at her as they waited for an answer, “And I love you. I somewhat miss us being able to spend alone time though. I honestly don’t think we’ve been alone since you proposed...” her voice trailed off, hoping that AJ wouldn’t get the wrong idea about her own proposal, or hint rather, “Don’t get me wrong...I love the life we’ve made. It’s just, we haven’t had a chance for any...personal bonding...if you know what I mean.”

AJ chuckled, “Last time we did real personal bonding, it landed you pregnant,” AJ joked, wrapping a free arm around Jaime’s waist as he pulled her in to him, kissing her on the cheek, “I know what you mean though.,” he thought for a moment before saying, ‘What do you think of us going away...renting a cabin somewhere, and having some of the guys watch Lauren...or the girls. She’ll be in safe hands and we can get away for a couple of days.”

Jaime’s eyes lit up, the sound of it incredible romantic. She felt shivers going up and down her spine as AJ ran his fingers through her brown hair, having to refrain from the temptation to jump him right there. Then a sudden thought struck her mind as her eyes widening in fear. She turned her head to AJ ready to question.

“You aren’t going to have Nick watch her, are you?”

This caused AJ to laugh, “Nick does really well with children,” he reminded her, “After all...he’s a big kid himself. With Kevin there to supervise the both of them, everything should be fine,” before Jaime had the chance to intervene with his plan, AJ added, “True, Kevin can’t walk...but he’s the most responsible person I know. With Lauren, he will make sure that everything runs smoothly.”

“I guess that could work...” Jaime stated, letting the decision sink in. A small smile formed on her lips, “We’re going on a weekend getaway...I can’t wait!”

“Damn, woman. If you’re this excited about going two hours away for a day and a half, I cant wait to see your enthusiasm for our honeymoon.”

Jaime slapped AJ’s arm playfully for his smart-ass comment. The truth was though, AJ was absolutely right. She couldn’t wait for the honeymoon...or what she would see of it, as she had a sneaking suspicion that they wouldn’t see much more than their hotel room, and it wouldn’t be because of a short visit either.

“So it’s settled then,” AJ smiled, “What do you say to two weeks from now?”

‘Sounds perfect,” Jaime agreed. She started to say something more, but Lauren interrupted them with a loud wail as she continued to struggled to get out of AJ’s arms to go in the direction of the slide, “But I think for you, you better give our little princess her fun time before she throws a tantrum.

“I think you’re right,” he stated, seeing a few tears starting to shimmer through the girls eyes, “C’mon Laur...lets go slide.”

Immediately, the bright little girl perked up with a happy grin on her face that she was getting her way, causing both to just laugh at her. Being a parent was definitely a challenging thing, but also rewarding. Neither could imagine anything they’d want more, unable to wait and see what the future had in store for all three of them.

Sorry for the delay in update! The holidays have made things hectic here...but all is running smoothly again now. If you've been reading this, please let me know what you think! I can promise you that in the next chapter, a lot of drama begins...and I do mean a LOT. I realize that up til now, things have been somewhat slow...but this is the last chapter like that. Bear with me...just leading up to the big BANG! lol *evil laugh* Again, please let me know what you think and I will update soon!

~*~Chapter Nine~*~


“So, what are we supposed to do with her?” Nick asked the second AJ and Jaime had walked out of their home.

Kevin rolled his eyes at Nick’s naivety, shaking his head in somewhat of a disbelief. Then again, he should have known that Nick would ask such questions. The only reason the young boy was there in the first place was to do the things that he, himself couldn’t as well as be there for somebody on the same thinking level. Somebody who could easily communicate with Lauren. That, however, wouldn’t be as necessary as they’d originally thought, as the young infant had a slight fever. It wasn’t anything that sent up red flags, however she was in her crib at the moment sleeping soundly.

“Nick, she’s sick. Aje said she’s been sick for two days now. All we have to do is check on her every now and then, listen for her to cry in the monitor and in about an hour, wake her up and feed her. It really isn’t that difficult. It shouldn’t be even for you.”

Nick cocked his head to the side, his mouth hanging ajar slightly as he tried to figure out if that were an insult towards him or not. He didn’t have the chance to say anything though, because as if on cue, a soft whimpering sounded through the baby monitor and only seconds later, it turned in to a full out wailing. Nick’s eye widened in panic, it obvious that he didn’t know what to do while Kevin knew that he couldn’t exactly make it upstairs on his own to take care of things himself. Lord knew that if he could, he’d be up there in a heart beat.

“Why don’t you go get her and we’ll feed her now,” Kevin suggested, “Maybe sing to her or put on one of those baby movies that Aje got for her.”

‘Why don’t you?” Nick shot immaturely, but stopped right where he was in the speaking process when he saw the warning look that Kevin was shooting him. The blonde grinned impishly as he stood, walking backwards with a look that said he should have known better than to mouth off to Kevin, “Or um...or I could. Ill um...I’ll be right back.” he spun around and bolted towards the stairs before Kevin could yell at him.

“Damn kid,” Kevin muttered with an amused shake of his head as he watched Nick disappear, hoping to God that he didn’t drop the child.

The crying continued to sound through the baby monitor and suddenly, Nick’s voice sounded too. He cooed at Lauren, talking in baby talk at her, which just upset the temperamental girl more. Kevin chuckled to himself, wishing he could actually see what was going on. He could almost picture Nick bending over the crip, puckering his lips out as he was making the baby noises at her. The crying became louder and Nick pleaded with her to stop, bribing her with food as if she actually understood. And then slowly, the sound became more faint through the monitor and louder up close and in person as Nick made his way down the stairs again, Lauren tucked safely within his arms.

“She won’t stop fussing!” Nick complained, bringing her to Kevin, “I tried talking to her, but she just got louder.”

“Maybe if you’d stop getting up in her face scaring the hell out of her, she’ll calm down.” Kevin suggested, seeing the look of petrification pasted on to Nick’s features. He honestly was beginning to think that maybe it was a good thing that he wouldn’t have much to do with his own babies life if Stephanie had anything to do with it, “For Gods sake, Nick...just give her here.” Kevin reached out for Lauren and Nick quickly and graciously handed her over without hesitation, “You’re handling her like she’s a fucking chia-pet.”

“She kinda is. You feed her and she grows stuff out of other ends...”

“That’s just sick, Nick.” Kevin raised an eyebrow, “Where do you come up with these things?”

Nick shrugged as he watched Kevin rock Lauren as if he were a professional. He smiled, but it was somewhat forced because he was jealous. Here he was with a baby due in just a few short months and he would have almost nothing to do with it. Kevin, on the other hand, wasn’t even close to getting children and he knew exactly what to do, his voice coming out softly as he sung to her. Sure enough, Laruen’s cries were calming down and soon she was completely silent. Wetness soaked her face still, her eyes glowing up at Kevin.

“Uncle Kevvy wont let Nick near you again,” he joked, looking up at Nick with a wink, “Nicky scares you, doesn’t he?” he took his shirt sleeve to wipe Lauren’s face gently, drying the tears away as well as wiping her tiny button nose slightly, “Everything’s okay Laur.”

Nick sighed, plopping down on to a couch as silence took over. He watched Kevin rocking Lauren still, his voice soothingly speaking to her as if she could actually understand what he was saying despite her being just under a year old. Lauren let out a small huffed sigh, her face showing signs if discomfort. Kevin scrunched up his face as he took a hand to her forehead. It was cool to touch but clammy, her tiny cheeks flushed.

“Hey, Nick...could you go get a thermometer, a cool, dampened rag and Lauren’s pre-made bottle for me from the fridge?”

“Why is the thermometer and rag in the fridge?”

Kevin took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes, “The bottle is in the fridge, Nick. The thermometer is in the medicine cabinet and the rag is in the dish towel drawer. Run it under cold water in the sink...which is not in the fridge either.” Nick smirked at Kevin’s sarcasm, “Just go get it. I think she’s running a fever. And don’t get lost.”

“Funny,” Nick rolled his eyes as he headed towards the kitchen to retrieve the items Kevin had asked for. He returned five minutes later with all three things Kevin had wanted, handing them over, or rather dumping them in to the mans lap in a heap. Kevin looked up at the blonde with the raise of an eyebrow, “There’s your things.”

“Thank you, Nick.” Kevin rolled his eyes as he picked up the thermometer with his free hand. He gently turned Lauren over with his arm as he unbuttoned the legs to her pajamas, “This isn’t going to feel too good, Lauren...I’m sorry.” he cringed as he slid the thermometer up her butt, remembering all too well when he was a child and had to have it stuck in the same place when he was ill. Sure enough, the small girl tensed as she let out a shriek. Kevin forced himself to keep the thermometer in place though as it registered her temperature. The second the stick slid out, the cries turned in to a whimpering and finally subsided as Kevin looked down at how far up the red line was, “Hmm...” he clicked his tongue, “It’s a little high...only by half of a degree.” he uncapped the bottle that Nick had warmed slightly, testing it out on his hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot for Lauren as he turned her back over, giving her the bottle to which she sucked on graciously.

“Ain’t that a cute picture,” Nick cooed, “Mr Mom.”

‘Shut up, Carter and go stick a movie in,” Kevin laughed lightly as he pointed to the DVD player, “And something appropriate for the naive eyes.”

“Oh yes, because a nine month old will absorb it all and remember.” Nick stated sarcastically.

“Something that you would pick might scare her. Besides that, I mean for you anyways.” Kevin teased as he was flipped off.

“What is this, pick on Nick day?”

‘When is it not?”

Nick scowled as he turned away, muttering choice things under his breath as he ventured off to the movie selection. The first thing that caught his eye was Bambi. He pulled it off of the shelf, popping it in to the player as he waited for he main menu to pop up, then pressed ‘play’ as the movie started.

“Good choice,” Kevin stated half heartedly, disheartened and concerned that Lauren was already refusing to drink any more of her milk after only a few seconds. He tried to give her the nipple to the bottle back, but she refused as she turned her head away. After a few failed attempts, Kevin sighed, setting the bottle down on a small table next to him, “Let’s see if we can get her to watch it.”

Nick shrugged as he turned his attention to the beginning of the animated movie. He reached over and turned a light off to give it the full theater effect. This just caused a yawn to escape his lips as his eyes grew heavy. He leaned his head back only to rest, however it had a more powerful effect than he thought for he was asleep within minutes.

“Goofy kid.” Kevin chuckled as a soft snore came from Nick’s direction. He shook his head and turned back to the movie. Lauren watched it with somewhat of an interest, but not enough to keep her awake for long because she too fell in to a dreamland. Kevin smiled at her sweet face as he repositioned her, “Guess I’m alone with this one.”

Kevin watched the movie, somewhat bored with it but knew that he couldn’t exactly turn it on his own with Lauren in his lap. He didn’t want to disturb her, so he just watched it, but soon he too followed the other two’s paths leaving the movie running to practically no audience.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Jaime asked eagerly as she bounced up and down slightly in excitement.

AJ laughed at his fiancé as he kept his hands placed firmly over her eyes to ensure that there would be no peeking on her part. He somewhat struggled with the door to the cabin, attempting to push it open by turning the knob with his knee. After several failed tries, AJ finally got it, leading Jaime inside of a dimmed room. He smiled, unable to wait and see her reaction when he unveiled his blindfold. There was more to the weekend than what the clueless girl thought. AJ had a surprise for her.

“What about now?” Jaime asked after only a short pause, then tried her luck with whining, “AJ...please. I hate surprises and you are making me nervous.”

“Not much longer now, baby,” he promised, dipping down slightly to kiss her neck. Jaime squirmed, the gesture turning her on greatly and she moaned softly in sheer delight. AJ led her a few more steps and then his hand slid from her eyes, “You can open now.”

Jaime hesitated only a micro-second before slowly opening her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat at what she saw, turning in a small circle to take it all in. Every last bit of it. It was hard to believe that this was a little secluded cabin, as it had the look of the inside of a mansion or at least a very fancy, exquisite hotel suite. The place was lit by only the flickering glow of candles lining the dressers. Then there were the rose pedals scattered everywhere around the room. Thousands of rose pedals in red, pink, peach, yellow, white, their sweet scent still fresh to her nostrils. On the night stand was a vase full of red roses, at least two dozen of them, along with two glasses of pink wine, the rest of the bottle sitting in a bucket of ice next to them. It was romantic, to say the least. AJ the romantic. It brought back memories of the night he’d proposed to her. He’d always had a knack for making every little thing special, including this. The question was, when had he done it? They were hours from home. Her only guess was that he’d snuck out to the rented place before that night to set everything up, or hired somebody to do it for him for just before their arrival. Either way, she was speechless.

“What do you think? Was it worth it to come out here?” AJ asked her as his arms encircled her waist.

“I...I...” Jaime breathed out, no words able to describe her shock, “Wow...thank you. It’s...perfect.” she turned around in his arms to kiss him tenderly on the lips, getting up on her tip toes to do so, “You’re too good to me.”

“Nah,” AJ laughed, “Treating you how you deserve.”

Jaime sighed and looked around, deciding not to argue. Everything was perfectly in place. Even the bed, that was turned down already, the cream colored silk sheets beneath the bedspread, was perfectly smoothed out. This was definitely something she’d needed. Some time for just her and AJ. She missed Lauren, but it was only for a night. Just one night away to be with AJ in ways that weren’t possible for some months now. Not with an infant in the house who was at the age that required almost constant attention.

“I love you so much.” Jaime told the man before her, “This is just...incredible. Dinner was plenty and then...this.”

AJ wiggled his eyebrows seductively at her and Jaime knew immediately that he was thinking something dirty. Likely something she would like to partake in, “How would you like to start on dessert now?”

Jaime giggled, “What did you have in mind?”

“A bubble bath in the jumbo sized jacuzzi tub as I massage your shoulders with message oils followed by retreating to the bed as we make out as it turns in to making love and then cuddling for hours on end kissing you and holding you close.”

Jaime felt a tingle of excitement radiate through her body at AJ’s suggestion. It was all so romantic and blissful. And to think in just four months, she would be married to this man, sharing the same name as him. She couldn’t wait because that meant that they were connected together even more.

“I’ll race you to the tub.” Jaime stated before bolting to the bathroom with AJ trailing behind her closely. She stopped short of the tub though when she noticed that it was already filled to the top, millions of bubbles already in place atop the hot liquid, “You had everything prepared, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did.” he breathed as he pulled Jaime in to his arms, kissing her and nibbling on her bottom lip in heated lust as he slowly stripped her of her clothes. Jaime fumbled with the button to AJ’s dress pants, undoing them and sliding them down his legs. As AJ unhooked her bra, Jaime loosened his tie before unbuttoning his dress shirt, “You’re amazing.” he murmured as he bent down to suck on one of her hardened nipples.

Jaime moaned in pleasure as she took his manhood in to her hands, gently massaging. As they kissed, AJ slowly backed Jaime up to the tub as they took a few steps up to it and he gently picked her up and set her inside as he too got in, the two of them kissing wildly as they sunk beneath the masses of white foam.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin jerked awake suddenly, blinking his eyes a few times so that they could adjust to the darkness. He looked around somewhat confused, but his memory came back to him when he saw a near blank TV screen with a little dolphin periodically jumping around the screen. He looked over at the clock, seeing that it was almost midnight. The movie had ended nearly two hours ago. He couldn’t believe that he’d fallen asleep. That he’d let any of them. The second Lauren had fallen asleep, Kevin felt he should have awakened Nick to put her in her crib and then they both could have gone to somewhere comfortable.

Looking at Nick though, Kevin assumed that the blonde Boy had already accomplished that on his own. He was now in a laying position on the full length couch, a pillow tucked under his head. Kevin sighed, deciding that disrupting Nick would only cause problems. He himself let out a yawn as he looked down at Lauren. He smiled at her sleeping form, repositioning her in his arms in a way that was more comfortable for him since his left arm had officially fallen asleep and was tingling.

Looking around, Kevin decided to just stick it out for the night where he was. One night wouldn’t kill him, and Lauren seemed to be doing okay. Closing his eyes again, Kevin tried to go back to sleep. He realized after ten minutes though that it wasn’t going to happen. He simply wasn’t tired enough to. He had a gut feeling that something just wasn’t right. He wracked his brain, the feeling growing stronger for some reason. He felt sick to his stomach as he tried to figure out if he’d forgotten to do something. After several minutes of trying to figure it out, the thought dawned on him without warning. Had something happened to Anna? Was she okay?

In near a panic, Kevin grabbed his cell phone off of the table next to him, dialing home. He let it ring ten times before the recording picked up. He hung up, the fear coming to him stronger that she was hurt. He tried her cell phone then. It rang six times and he was about to hang up when she answered breathlessly.

“Hello?”

“Anna...honey, is that you?”

“Yes...” her voice trailed off as she sounded confused, “Kevin?”

“Yeah...it’s me. I’m just seeing how you’re doing. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, not at all,” Anna laughed, “Me and Gloria are at the theatre about to watch a movie...Rumor Has It or something like that. We’re catching the late showing. Not as crowded and no little kids screaming in the middle of it.”

Kevin breathed a sigh of relief, not really hearing anything past that she was out with Gloria. She was just out with a girlfriend for ladies night out. There was nothing to worry about. His protective, boyfriend instincts had just kicked in to overdrive because he cared about the woman so much. He loved her with every single fiber within him and didn’t know what he would do if anything had happened to her. At least he knew that she was safe. His accelerated heart rate was slowly returning to normal as the feeling he’d had subsided.

“Where’s Steph tonight?”

“With Brad, I think,” Anna replied, “Or working on an article that’s due later this week for the paper.” Kevin laughed at this, enjoying hearing Anna’s voice, “I hate to do this...but I have to go. The movie is starting in five minutes and I don’t want to leave Glor for too long alone in the theater.”

“Alright,” Kevin sighed, “Have fun and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait either.”

“I love you, darlin.” Kevin blew a kiss in to the phone.

“I love you too, Kev.”

Both paused for a moment, but Kevin waited for Anna to hang up before he did too. Placing the phone back, Kevin leaned back happy to know that she was okay. He hoped that now, maybe he could get some sleep with his mind at ease. It wasn’t long though before another voice sounded, this one groggy and somewhat stuttered.

“Who you talkin to?”

“Anna,” Kevin replied to Nick simply.

“Oh...whaz the time?”

“Just past midnight.”

There was a pause and Kevin thought for a moment that Nick had fallen back asleep, if he’d even awakened in the first place. Nick had been known to talk in his sleep from time to time. It was something they all liked to pick on him for and on occasion had videotaped the funnier of the episodes.

“Is Lauren asleep?”

Kevin looked over at Nick, whom was now sitting up. It was obvious that Nick too was going to have the same problem as himself. They’d fallen asleep too early and now were going to be awake until God knew when.

“She has been since right after you.” he replied.

“Want me to take her up to her room? Might be more comfortable for both of you.”

Kevin shrugged as Nick turned on the light next to him, standing up. He reached Kevin, who gently handed the baby girl over to Nick. Nick got a good grasp on her as he gently held her in his arms. He started towards the stairs, but stopped and turned around with fear in his eyes. A fear that caused a knot to form in Kevin’s stomach, for Nick never had that look.

‘Is...is it normal for her lips to be blue?”

Kevin’s own breath caught in his throat, the seconds ticking by at an impossibly slow rate as Nick walked back towards him, handing Lauren down for him to see for himself. Kevin took the infant back, looking down at her. Sure enough, her lips were blue, her body motionless. With a shaking hand, Kevin looked up at Nick who was frozen in place staring, taking that hand and holding it up to Lauren’s mouth to feel for a breath. After several long seconds of Kevin not feeling anything, he let out the breath he’d been holding in a horrified scream.


And the drama begins...if you want to see more, leave a review. Otherwise, I probably will only email the chapters to the 2 people who are reviewing. Thanks Ana and dancinpacer!

Chapter Ten

“That movie was so amazing!” Anna exclaimed with a smile as she and Gloria walked down the stairs of the movie theatre, “I can tell I’ll be buying it when it comes out.” she rolled her eyes at herself, “The ever-growing list of movies I want to own.”

Gloria laughed, “It was pretty good.” she shrugged, “I don’t know. I prefer more action...blood, guts. Horror.”

Anna shook her head as they continued to make their way outside. It was just past one in the morning, the movie they’d seen being a late one. The thing was, neither of them were tired in the least. In fact, they’d talked about heading over to the college coffee house hang out that was open all night that was next to the movie and it seemed they were headed in that very direction as the forming friends ventured down the sidewalk.

“I’m surprised that Howie and you get along like you do. He’s such a sweetheart and a romantic and you’re all for the drama and gory shit.”

Gloria laughed again and shrugged, “I like romance in a relationship. I love how Howie treats me. I love him. He’s more than I could ever ask for.” she smiled and bowed her head in a blush, “I still can’t believe he chose me of all the girls he could have...and well...” she sighed, not really knowing what to say next.

With a smile, Anna understood exactly what she meant. Romance was amazing and if a girl wanted somebody who went all out, then Howie was the man for that. Gloria was just one of the lucky few who got the opportunity to experience it first hand. Anna had known Howie for over a year now and knew more than most of the world that he deserved this refreshing, great relationship. And only knowing Gloria for a few weeks, she could already tell the upbeat woman was the perfect person for the man.

“Hun, believe it. Howie is crazy about you. I mean, he’s always been a positive person but since you’re in his life...gosh.” she smiled, “There’s just more to it than before.”

A blush actually arose on Gloria’s cheeks, but she hid it as she dipped in to the coffee house with Anna following close behind. They made their way in to the line which only had one person in front of them. The place was nearly empty due to the time of night it was. That was fine by Anna though. She preferred it to be empty because it would make it much easier to just talk without having to shout above rowdy students goofing around. The two waited until they had their drinks ordered and they were seated in a small booth in a far corner before either of them spoke again.

“So,” Gloria asked as she took a sip of her strawberry-banana smoothie, “How are things with you and Kevin?”

Anna sighed as she nibbled on her lip for a moment, thinking of the best way to answer the question. Kevin’s moods and personalities were shifting quite often lately. He was still himself in many ways, being sweet and kind towards her. There was just something different about him though. Something a little darker. He had changed in the most recent weeks, and Anna didn’t know how to explain it. All she knew was that it worried her.

“I don’t know...” she finally spoke, “He treats me like gold. He’s never said a mean thing to me and he’s always so great.” she shrugged and smiled sadly, “I think he’s slipping back in to a funk again and I just..worry.”

“What do you mean?” Gloria asked patiently.

“I don’t know...” Anna laughed lightly, feeling slightly embarrassed for bringing it up, “Just...some things have happened recently that has kind of gotten him down I guess. Like at his most recent doctors appointment...and then at the restaurant we went to about a week ago, he got some looks and all...” her voice trailed off slightly and worry crossed her face, “He was doing so well for awhile and now it seems that he’s falling again. I love that man so much. I don’t want to see him sad.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much yet,” Gloria advised with a reassuring smile, “Just show him that you’re there for him and not going anywhere.”

Anna smiled at her new friends advise. She knew deep within her heart that it was all she could really do anyways. Kevin was going to be depressed weather she wanted him to be or not if he was going to be. She couldn’t do a thing about it. All she could do was show him that no matter what happened she would love him and be there for him to turn to. Anna definitely had every intention of that too. She was in this relationship for the long haul, for better and for worse.

“I just hope he doesn’t think that I’m only sticking around because I feel sorry for him or something ridiculous like that.” Anna mentioned, “With as paranoid as he has been lately...” she was cut short by her phone ringing loudly within her purse, “I wonder who’s calling at one’ thirty in the morning?”

Gloria shrugged her shoulders, looking as if she wondered the same thing as Anna brought her purse up from the floor, digging her cell out of a front pocket. Looking at the display screen, she saw that it was Kevin. Laughing, she shook her head with a slight blush that he was calling yet again for the second time in a couple of hours.

“He really is paranoid,” she laughed, taking a moment before flipping the phone open, “Probably is freaking out thinking I am out with another man.” Gloria laughed at this as her friend took the phone to her ear, “Hello?” she paused for a second before saying, “Kevin...please...slow down. I can’t understand you, baby. What’s wrong?”

This caused Gloria to look at Anna in confusion, knowing that something was going on and it wasn’t a good thing. By the way Anna’s face paled, she knew something serious has happened. Especially when the girl told her panicking boyfriend that they would ‘be right there’ before hanging up the phone, her hands shaking.

“We have to get to the hospital.” was all she said as she stood up already rushing towards the door with Gloria at her heels, both wondering exactly what had happened, as neither still didn’t know any details. There would be plenty of time to find out though. For now, they just had to get there, and fast. Something about the tone in Kevin’s panicked voice told her that this was a huge emergency.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin and Nick both sat in the waiting room of the hospital in paled fright. They’d been there for almost two hours already without having any word on Lauren. They didn’t know what had happened nor why or if she was even alive. Both men were shaken beyond belief though, and had been since Nick’s realization that the infant was not of normal coloring. Everything since that moment had gone by in a blur and then they were there at the hospital. Everything in between, neither man could remember. Every time he closed his eyes though, Kevin would see the flashing lights of the ambulance coming up to the house in a clear picture and he had to open them again to rid of the haunting image. He wondered if Nick was having the same effect.

“Have you gotten a hold of Aje or Jaime yet?”

Kevin looked up to see Nick sitting staring straight ahead. His eyes were red rimmed, his face blotchy from fallen tears. At first, Kevin wasn’t sure that Nick had spoken at all. After a few seconds though, the blonde turned to face his older friend making Kevin realize that he had spoken. The man looked like hell and Kevin knew that he probably didn’t look much better...if not, worse. This was an absolute nightmare. What made it worse was that they were being tortured by being forced to wait for any news. Shouldn’t there be something by then? Realizing he had spaced out, Kevin decided to finally answer Nick who was still waiting.

“No...I haven’t.” he replied softly, “How about you? Any luck?”

Nick shook his head, “I keep getting sent straight to voice mail. I guess they have their phones turned off.”

“Perfect.” Kevin muttered, putting his head in to his hands in distress.

All was silent for what seemed to be the longest of time. Both men had things running through their minds. Haunting things. Kevin for one wished more than anything that the parents of the child would answer their phone. True, they were on their romantic get-away. This was a real, honest to God emergency though. Who nowadays left home without keeping their cell phone on just in case they were crucially needed in instances such as this? He was in panic mode feeling close to having a complete meltdown. Feeling as if he could have an anxiety attack at any moment, knowing that Anna and Gloria would be there at any moment was the only thing keeping him sane.

“I wonder if they’ll even tell us anything?” Nick mentioned meekly, “Since we aren’t her parents or blood-related.”

“Like hell we aren’t related,” Kevin grumbled subconsciously without even thinking really, “As far as I’m concerned, we’re pretty much her uncles...” his voice trailed off as suddenly, he wondered if there would be complications with any word being delivered.

Another few minutes of silence passed. Nick tried to speak, but Kevin wasn’t in a very talkative mood, ignoring him. Finally, the younger man let up, just sitting in the shadows of the hospital waiting room with antsy anticipation. Both men had a different way with dealing with their fear though, which was making the wait even more difficult. Kevin preferred to just sit and think, no talking, no noise. His way of dealing was keeping everything tucked deeply away within him. Nick, on the other hand, had to chatter away and spill everything. He was comforted by noise because it kept him still and calmed. The silence was causing him to become stir crazy, shifting over and over again in his seat just to keep busy.

The seconds continued to tick away slowly. Kevin felt as if he were suffocating within time. Without even realizing it though, Anna and Gloria came running down the halls. Both girls were out of breath, frantically looking for the two Boys as they wondered what had happened and what was going on. Kevin looked up, startled at the loud thundering of footsteps and was surprised. He didn’t know why, for he’d been expecting the women. The only explanation was that he’d forgotten in his own misery.

“Oh my god,” Anna breathed as she bent down to hug Kevin, kissing him on the forehead. She pulled back and searched his eyes for anything. They were blank though other than a shimmering within them, “What happened? What’s going on?”

Kevin shrugged, “I don’t know...” his voice was monotone as he stared blankly ahead. He felt some relief that his girlfriend was there now, however just seeing her made him remember why they were all there and he swallowed back tears, “They haven’t told us anything about Lauren.”

“Nothing?” Gloria breathed in disbelief as she took a seat in one of the hard, uncomfortable seats next to Nick. Her eyes widened in fright then as for the first time they knew the person that they were there for. Her eyes locked with Anna’s, whom held the same look, “Wait....Lauren is here? Do Jaime and AJ know?” she asked a logical question.

Kevin shook his head while Nick answered this time, “They wont answer their cell phone. We woke up in the middle of the night and...and...” Nick just swallowed, unable to complete his sentence. He didn’t have to though for Anna and Gloria to know that something definitely was not right. Something horrible had happened.

Anna looked to Kevin who looked so completely helpless and lost. His mood proved what she’d talked to Gloria about earlier right. He was different. Only this time, he had good reason to be. She wondered what was going on behind closed doors with the emergency personnel. Having half a notion to breeze through the doors and demand what was going on, Anna started to head in that direction, but Kevin stopped her as he reached for her hand to stop her.

“Please don’t go.” he asked with pleading emerald eyes, “I need you.”

Anna smiled softly at him, “What do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Just hold me?”

Anna felt her heart melt at his request, knowing that she couldn’t turn him down. So as Kevin pulled her in to his lap, she didn’t argue. She just sat, hugging him close to her and kissing him on the mouth once. Kevin forced a smile of thanks, just holding his girlfriend close. She was his comfort, his security. As long as she was there, no bad could come...right? God, he hoped so. Kevin didn’t know if he could take another disaster to the group. They had been though so much and had just survived yet another with himself. It was too soon for something else to go wrong. They’d been through too much for the group to crash and burn now. At least, he hoped. He hoped that God would deliver some sort of miracle news to them.

With nobody saying anything, Anna looked over to Gloria. She had a look of uneasiness about her. She wondered if it was because of nervousness or because she had some sort of instinct about what was going on. With a sigh, Anna leaned in to Kevin as she sensed his distress. His mood was solemn and worrisome. He had reason to be. It was then that she noticed that her boyfriend was trembling. In fact, he was full out shaking. She pulled back and looked in to his eyes. It was apparent that he was trying to hold back tears, but was failing at that attempt, for a few wet streaks were forming along his complection.

“Kevin?” she asked ever so softly, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Kevin looked at her, trying to muster the courage to swallow away his emotions and tell her that he was fine. He hated to break down like this in front of Anna. He liked to be strong and show her that he wasn’t weak. It looked like that wasn’t going to happen though. Instead of denying his fears, he shook his head.

“I’m just afraid.” he said quietly, wondering where Howie, Brian and Gloria were. Nick had insisted on calling them and Kevin hadn’t had the energy to argue even though he felt that their large group shouldn’t bombard the waiting room like a pack of wolves, “I don’t want AJ and Jaime to hate me.”

“Kev, they won’t hate you...”

“Their daughter was hurt in my hands...” he cut her off but then suddenly didn’t know what to say, “They won’t even answer their phone...I don’t know what’s happening or why. I feel like all of this is my fault. Nothing is going right any longer,,,”

“Kevin, slow down.” Anna soothed, reaching up to comfortingly caress his face within her hand, “You don’t know anything yet and you’re already on the verge of a mental breakdown. Just try to calm down and wait to see what the doctor says, okay?”

Kevin swallowed and nodded, taking in a few deep breaths to try and calm himself as he attempted to do what his girlfriend said. What he didn’t know was that on the inside, Anna was freaking out just as much as he was. They all were. Only time would tell what was going on, but until a white-coated man emerged from those doors looking for them, that time would go by ever so slowly. All they hoped was that when it came, the news would be something positive that they all wanted to hear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaime’s eyes fluttered open upon smelling something heavenly. She squinted as sunlight poured through the curtains which were drawn open about half way. With a smile, she closed them again as she snuggled in to the blankets, dipping her face in to the soft pillow upon the bed. She say there for a moment to allow herself to wake up a little bit more before rolling over on to her back, staring up at the ceiling. Turning her head to the side, fully expecting to see AJ still lying beside her, she was surprised to see that she was in the bed alone. Letting out a moan, Jaime sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

The candles from the night before had long since gone out. She assumed that AJ had blown them out at some point to ensure that they wouldn’t burn the place down. All of the rose pedals still remained however, scattered absolutely everywhere. They were like velvet to the touch of her feet as she stood, making her feel as if she were in some sort of fairy tail living it out in the real world.

“AJ?” she called out as she padded her way lightly through the cabin. She peeked in to a couple of rooms along her way to see if he was in an of them, “Aje?”

“In the kitchen.” AJ answered her.

Jaime rose an eyebrow as she headed towards the kitchen. The scent became stronger and sure enough, upon reaching it, there was AJ standing over the stove. She smiled at the scene before her eyes as she watched her fiancé scoop up an omelet from the skillet over the electric stove. He placed it on a plate that already contained a Belgian waffle topped with whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate chips. Jaime could feel her mouth watering at the looks of it as cheddar cheese oozed out of the sides of the omelet, specks of pink poking through to tell her that AJ had put in some ham. He’d made her favorite, adding some icing to an already perfect weekend.

‘Good morning, my love.” AJ teased in a corny British accent that he was doing a horrible job at imitating, ‘Did you sleep well?”

Jaime nodded as she stood in place, just watching as he picked up two plates of breakfast foods, carrying them over to the table that already had glasses of orange juice poured, likely pulp free. He set them down at the set table that was done perfectly with three tall, thin candles burning in the middle to set a romantic vibe even early on in the morning...or rather gong on eleven.

“How long have you been up?” Jaime asked, knowing that this couldn’t have taken just a few minutes. He’d obviously gotten up some time ago to surprise her.

“Since about nine or so.” AJ smiled, “I wanted to do something special for you this morning...since we head back this afternoon.”

“You’ve already done plenty.” Jaime told him in disbelief, “I would have been happy with a piece of toast.”

AJ chuckled as he pulled a chair out, “Have a seat.” he motioned.

Jaime smiled as she took it, sitting down gingerly in her silk royal blue pajamas that hit her mid thigh. It was another something AJ had gotten her for that weekend. He definitely had gone all out to make sure that it was exceptional. She figured it was because it was unknown when they would get the change to do something like this again. She hoped that it was soon, but it was difficult to do things now.

‘Thank you.” she leaned over and kissed AJ tenderly once he too was seated, “It looks...incredible.” as if to prove her point, her stomach let out a low rumble that caused both to laugh, “I guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”

“Then eat up.” he motioned to the plate, “It tastes better warm.” he winked.

Jaime tried to refrain from rolling her green eyes, but it being such a habit, she found herself doing it anyways. As she picked up her fork, she cut in to the eggs with the side of it, picking up a dainty bite as she stuck it in to her mouth. She closed her eyes as she chewed, the taste like nothing she’d ever had before. She wondered if it was because AJ had made it out of love or if he had a secret recipe to make it that way. Wither way, it was incredible.

“I can’t believe that this is all almost over.” Jaime mentioned with a sad smile, “I’ve had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself.” AJ replied, “I’ve had fun too.”

“I honestly can’t wait to be married to you. These four months are going to drag.”

“I know!” AJ exclaimed, “But it will be all worth it in the end.”

“Definitely.”

Their eyes caught as both just ate their breakfast for a moment. Every bite was just as good as the last for Jaime as she discovered that AJ was an amazing cook. She’d always envisioned him to me more of a ‘pick it up from McDonalds’ kind of guy. This just proved her wrong though. If only she could do this for him without burning down an entire building...

“How’s the waffle?” AJ asked, distracting her from her thoughts.

“Amazing!” Jaime assured him, “Better than any restaurant.”

AJ chuckled at her enthusiasm “I thought the whipped cream was a nice touch.”

Jaime grinned, ‘Definitely.” she stuck her finger in to the large pile of it atop the waffle, licking it off.

“Kinky.” AJ laughed as he mocked her, getting a generous sized amount on the tip of his forefinger.

Without a moments hesitation, Jaime reached over and took his hand in hers, bringing the finger to her mouth. Placing it inside, she sucked on it, licking around until every bit was off, continuing on afterwards for even a little bit. She enjoyed watching AJ’s eyes widen in pleasure as he moaned in delight. It was obvious that they would be engaging in some after breakfast dessert, if they even made it that far because at the rate things were going, they’d be engrossing themselves in those activities much sooner than either expected.

Chapter Eleven

By mid morning, the rest of the group had made it to the hospital. Still, nobody could get a hold of AJ or Jaime and nobody had heard a single word on Lauren’s condition. They didn’t know whether to take that as a bad sign or as something positive. Either way, they were all waiting in extreme fear, nobody saying a whole lot, which was to be expected. They all equally shared the want of knowing what was going on though. Each one of them however was in the dark, and each minute that passed drove them a little more crazy. All six of them refused to leave the hospital though. Not until something was known for certain.

To look at the group of friends, one would assume that they’d been through hell and back. In their minds, they were currently in hell. Each looked tired and ragged with bloodshot eyes from both lack of sleep as well as from many fallen tears. Their appearances were unkept with wrinkled clothing and disheveled hair, however none of them even cared. In fact, it was the absolute last thing on any of their minds, even with the odd stares people were giving them as they passed by on their way to their own destinations.

At around ten, one of them finally spoke, breaking a long overdue silence. The question, though perfectly acceptable, seemed out of place. Especially with it being the first thing said in hours. Nonetheless, it was an ice breaker of sorts, which the others were thankful for. In the gravity of the situation, every time one of them had started to talk, they’d stopped themselves, afraid to speak their worries out loud. Maybe Brian’s voice would give the others the courage that they’d needed all along to actually speak their thoughts in to the open.

“I’m going to get some coffee.” He’d stated as he stood, unable to just sit there any longer. He couldn’t take the silence and he was becoming stir crazy, needing a change in scenery, “Anybody else want anything?”

At first, nobody responded at all. They just sat there and stared at one another, all mute. Then one by one, they declined the offer, not knowing if they’d be able to stomach anything being put in to their systems. Ill was how they all felt, as if each had caught a nasty, contagious bug that kept being passed back and forth amongst just them.

“Okay then,” Brian hesitated, “I’ll be back then in a little bit.” he started to head away, but was stopped by one of his friends after only a few steps.

“Hold up I’ll go with you.”

Brian turned to see Nick getting up from his seat, stretching his joints and muscles that had grown stiff for a few seconds before joining him. They didn’t say anything more as they disappeared out of the waiting area together in search of the nearest cafeteria in the enormous hospital. It seemed to all of them like no time had passed at all since the last time they’d been in the place, when Kevin had been in a deep coma after his suicide attempt. Sure, it had been a different part of the hospital but when it came straight down to it, it was all the same.

‘God, I wish they’d answer their damned phones,” Kevin said aloud out of nowhere, “They need to be here and I refuse to leave a message on voice mail saying their daughter is in the hospital. They need to be told from a person...not a damned machine.”

“Wishing it won’t change anything,” Stephanie told him logically, “When are they due back?”

Kevin shrugged, not having a definite answer. He wished more than anything that he had one. All he had though was, “I don’t know. Sometime tonight, I guess.” he was dreading their return and them finding out something was wrong with Lauren, ‘Of all the nights for this to happen.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything.” Anna told him softly.

Kevin snorted, “I’m not so sure.” He stated bitterly

“Kev, honey...please don’t.” Anna pleaded, “You did nothing wrong. I swear to you on that.”

It was obvious that the older man didn’t believe a word that Anna said by the way he fell so silent. She leaned in to kiss him, but he tensed and heard the young woman sigh. He could feel fresh tears threatening, but none would fall. He, as well as the others, were all cried out. Only dry tears came in the form on choking on their words. Other than that, there was nothing. Nothing to ease their one tracked minds.

Nothing more was said for twenty minutes. Those twenty minutes seemed to slip by ever so slowly and it was then that Nick and Brian returned, each with a cup of coffee and Nick with a large blueberry muffin. It was typical if Nick to find comfort in food...even in the worst of times. Normally, somebody would crack a joke at him to lighten the mood. Nobody found it within them to do that this time though. In fact, they’d hardly even noticed nor acknowledged the two mens return.

“Any word yet?” Brian asked as he took a seat, already knowing the answer before it was spoken out loud by the looks on everybody’s faces. He felt stupid for even asking.

“Not yet.” Howie spoke up for the first time pretty much since his arrival. He heard Gloria sniffle and he gave her hand a comforting squeeze, “They have to tell us something soon. It’s been what...ten hours?”

“Something like that,” Nick agreed, “Maybe they’re waiting for her parents to get here...since they know Kev and me were only babysitting. Remember when Kev was here and they almost didn’t tell us anything cuz we weren’t directly related?”

Everybody inwardly agreed that Nick proved a very good point. Maybe they were wasting their time sitting there because no doctors were going to come out. Despite this fact though, nobody moved. Either way, they felt it was the right thing to do to wait things out and see what happened. Once more, everyone grew eerily quiet. All fears had already been spoken and laid out on the table. There really wasn’t any need for repeating anything.

It took all of the willpower Kevin held within him not to go up and demand to speak to a doctor. He wanted nothing more than to jump up and punch somebody square in the jaw for torturing their minds like this. Then again, picking fights and yelling wouldn’t exactly help them any. If anything, it would set them back even more. Besides, it wasn’t as if he could leap from the wheelchair even if he really wanted to He was restricted still and was quickly reminded of that when he was unable to do the things he truly wanted.

For a short while, everybody tried to think positive thoughts as best they could. It worked, keeping their minds preoccupied with the things that they all most wanted to hear. That all ended though when finally, a doctor came through the doors. He looked exhausted and somber and for some reason the group got a vibe that this time, the doctor was there for them and they all quickly came crashing back down to reality.

“Mr and Mrs McLean?” he announced, assuming that the non present parents were already married.

‘That would be us.” Kevin bravely spoke up as he took charge.

“I’m Dr. Lawrence,” He greeted, “Which ones of you are the parents of Lauren?” the man asked cautiously.

Nobody spoke at first, each of them exchanging looks of worry. It was obvious that the doctor was going to challenge them, making things difficult, and their pause had been far too long for them to lie now. The question now was what could they say to ensure that they got answers right then?

“None of us are.” Kevin finally replied nervously when nobody else volunteered to, “Her parents are out of town. I was watching her with a friend. We can’t get a hold of Jaime or AJ. If you could just please tell us what is going on...”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t release information to anybody who is not blood-related.” Dr Lawrence interrupted.

Everybody stared at the man in disbelief. Everyone except for Anna who kept her composure as she bluntly spoke up, “Damnit...I am the mothers sister. I deserve to know. Jaime would want you to tell all of us. So would AJ. We’re all freakishly bonded, so please tell us what is going on with my niece.”

Dr. Lawrence’s eyes clouded over sadly with pity as he tried his best to regain his composure. His professionalism was appreciated, however his pause was unwanted. A long pause only came followed by bad news. There was no turning back time now. They were finally going to get some long awaited answers.

“I’m very sorry to tell you this, but Lauren passed away. She was announced dead when she was brought in.”

“And you’re just now telling us this?” Kevin angrily yelled, the words spilling from his lips without even thinking. He was in a state of shock. He snapped out of it quickly though as his breathing became ragged and tears started to fall fiercely down his cheeks. He choked on his words as he cried out, “Oh God...” reality settling in.

Dr. Lawrence didn’t pay any attention to Kevin’s outburst, knowing that each one would deal differently with the news. All of their faces had paled, each one crying, “Apparently, Lauren had a medical problem that was missed when she was born...a heart defect. “

Kevin closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than the doctor to go away. This was the absolute last thing he’d expected to hear, even though he knew he should have expected it. After all, she hadn’t been breathing when the ambulance had come to get her. Still though, he’d hoped that by some miracle, she would survive and be okay. Just like his cousin so many years ago now. This proved that not everything ended positively. Lauren had been taken from them and now he had the sorrowful duty of telling AJ and Jaime.

“There’s really nothing that can be done and you staying here won’t change anything. I suggest you go home and get some rest.” the doctor told the stunned and tearful group, “Do you know when the parents will return home?” his response was shaken heads and he sighed, “As soon as they return, you need to tell them to come down right away. Again, I am so sorry to deliver such news.”

He then turned and walked away without giving any more information and without saying another word of condolence. Although they knew that he probably felt anything more would be best saved for Jaime and AJ, it didn’t help anybody to feel better. In fact, the longer they sat there in stunned silence, the more the shock wore off completely and then out of nowhere, Kevin became hysterical as he blamed himself as his tearful friends helped him slowly out of the waiting area. They were no longer needed there. All they could do now was go home and wait. Starting now, things would never be the same again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Kevin, baby...are you okay?”

Kevin didn’t respond to Anna. He just sat in the darkness of the home of AJ and Jaime feeling numb. Most of the others had since left, leaving Kevin and Nick to carry on their duty of delivering the horrible news to them upon their return. It was going on five and they still weren’t home and had their cell phones turned off. Knowing her boyfriend would need comforting, Anna had opted to stay behind and wait with the two men.

“Kevin?” she sniffled as she neared him cautiously.

There was a moment of silence before Kevin said out of nowhere and without warning, “It’s all my fault.”

He sounded so pathetic and Anna’s heart broke for him at his self-accusation. She tried to stifle a sob, but failed as fresh tears poured from her eyes once more. To say that she felt at an all time low would be an understatement. Anna could only imagine how the two men were feeling. Especially Kevin, whom was more than ready to put the blame on himself.

“No...” she tried to correct him as she leaned over, pulling him in to a tight embrace.

“It is,” Kevin argued harshly as he pulled away, “I killed Lauren. If only I hadn’t fallen asleep with her on me...”

“It would have happened anyways,” Anna said softly, desperate to make him see this important fact, “The doctor said that it was a medical defect...it was missed when she was born. It was just a matter of time.”

By now, Kevin was sobbing openly again. Anna tried to hug him once more. Kevin was reluctant at first, but soon fell in to her, his tears of despair soaking through the thin material of her shirt. She just held him as they cried together, forgetting about Nick’s presence momentarily until he spoke up for the first time.

“Anna’s right. We didn’t do anything to cause this,” he too was crying silently, sitting alone several feet from the couple. More than anything, he wanted to flee. It was his responsibility to stay though, and as hard as it was, he was going to carry through.

“But she died in my arms...” Kevin protested, “If only I’d put her to sleep in her crib...”

“It still would have happened,” Anna interrupted as she pulled back to look in to his eyes through blurred vision, “Whether you were holding her, you put her in her crib or if Jaime and Aje had been here instead. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“I just feel so helpless...” Kevin stated, speaking freely of all of his worries. It was the only thing to keep him sane through all of this, “They’re going to hate me.”

“No, they won’t,” Anna said firmly, “They’ll be upset and angry, which is to be expected,. Not at you though. They know you would never hurt Lauren. You loved her as if she were your very own.”

Kevin wasn’t so sure, therefore he said nothing. All he knew was that if it were his child, he would be buying a voodoo doll to cast nasty spells on whoever had been in charge. He figured that AJ would be no different. He’d just lost his first and only child. If only the defect had been caught. Lauren had been sick for days. If only she’d been taken to the doctor. Maybe something would have been caught and it could’ve been prevented before it was too late. If only she’d been lucky like Brian...but unfortunately, unlike his cousin, she hadn’t been so lucky. The odds had been against her and she’d been taken from the world just shy of a year old.

What confused Kevin and made the situation even harder to believe was that up until the night before, Lauren had always been such a happy infant. She’d seemed so healthy and he’d never seen her cranky until the night that had been her last. It had happened without warning. Maybe if she’d shown signs of discomfort and being ill or had been short on breath or had an irregular heartbeat that had been noticed, something would have been looked in to. Kevin still blamed himself, but more than that even, he blamed the doctor who hadn’t checked her more carefully, missing the deadly disease.

“I wish they would just get home already, so we could get this over with,” Nick stated. He shivered, feeling cold even though the house was set at a comfortable warm, “This waiting is just too much to handle...”

“I don’t,” Kevin interjected, “I’m dreading this more than anything I’ve ever dread in my entire life.” For a single moment, he found himself hoping that the couple had been killed in a car accident on their way home so that they could avoid telling them. He immediately felt horrible for thinking such a fate on his best friends though.

“It has to be done sooner or later,” Nick pointed out solemnly, “I’d think it would be easier if it was sooner...it would be over with quicker.”

Kevin couldn’t argue with that. T he waiting and wondering when AJ and Jaime would return was torture. They all knew that they could be expected at any minute now. What was to happen and they reaction they’d receive would be the same no matter what. Holding off would do absolutely no good. Kevin was beginning to realize that now. The more that reality set in, the more it pained him, things he’d tried not to think about becoming fresh in his mind.

“I honestly can’t believe this is happening,” Anna muttered as she sat on the couch next to Nick. She buried her face in to her hands, “I just...fuck.” she cursed, not knowing exactly what to say.

She honestly believed that Jaime was one of the best friends anybody could ever ask for. She, of all people, didn’t deserve this. She was a great mother and AJ an amazing father. They had been overjoyed with parenthood and had given Lauren everything she needed. It was hard to say exactly how this would affect their relationship. They would need each other now more than ever though. Anna just prayed that they would have the strength to support one another through this seemingly impossible time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, here we are.” AJ announced as he pulled his car in to the long driveway, “Home sweet home.”

Jaime offered a tight smile, knowing that the weekend in paradise was officially over. It was now back to the normal, everyday life. The time away had been nice while it lasted. Perfect, in fact. Although Jaime wished that they could’ve stayed longer, in a way she was glad to be home for one reason.

“I wonder if our little girl missed mommy and daddy.” she thought aloud as AJ turned the car off. She unbuckled her seatbelt, getting out of the car at the same time as her fiancé, “I can’t wait to see her.”

AJ chuckled as he met Jaime on the other side of the car. Together, they walked up the few steps from the garage to the door. He had to admit that he’d missed his little angel too. He wasn’t used to leaving her overnight and was glad to be home where he could be close to her. He vowed that the next trip, Lauren was going with them. It had just felt too weird being without her and he knew that Jaime agreed by the anxious look on her fact to get inside and see her.

“I hope she’s feeling better,” AJ mentioned, “I hated leaving her when she was sick.”

“I did too...but she was in good hands with Nick and Kevin,” By now, they were in the house, startled to find it completely dark. Jaime furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Huh...I wonder if they’re even here.”

“But Nick’s SUV is in the garage,” AJ pointed out, “Unless one of the others picked them all up.” he frowned, wondering what was going on. He hoped that they were there because he wanted to see Lauren, “Nick?...Kevin?” he called out.

The couple walked slowly through the house, flipping on lights along the way to brighten their view. At first, they’d heard nothing but the more steps they took, both could hear soft voices of their friends talking. As they round the corner in to the living room, the couple found their two babysitters plus Anna sitting in total darkness. They did nothing to greet their friends, avoiding looking in their direction to greet them back. Jaime could tell right off that something wasn’t quite right.

“H...hey guys.” she waved, “How’d things go?” She noticed that her daughter wasn’t there with them, “Is Laur asleep?”

Nobody replied , just looking at one another. All were somber and their expressions read help. This caused her apprehension to rise even more. She let go of AJ’s hand as she quickly ran towards the stairs, taking them two at a time to Lauren’s room. AJ watched her go before turning back to his friends with confusion written in his face. He looked at each one before speaking, his voice coming out firm.

“What’s going on, guys?”

Again, nobody replied. Anna choked on a sob coming up as she hugged Kevin. Kevin just burred his face in to her shoulder to avoid eye contact, rubbing his girlfriends back as if fidgeting and ignoring AJ would make it all go away. This left only one person to speak and that one person was Nick. With his voice shaky, his eyes red-rimmed from tears both past and present, he started to talk, not knowing exactly what he was going to say.

“Aje...something happened while you were gone...”

“And that would be?” AJ demanded with interruption, not even giving the man the chance to continue.

Nick swallowed, about to carry on, but was cut off again by Jaime running down the stairs. By the frantic sound of her footsteps, it was obvious that she’d found her daughters room empty. By now, she was wondering exactly what was going on and probably freaking out. She had reason to be, but neither parent knew exactly how serious it was.

“AJ,” her voice alarmed with panic as she ran down the stairs, stumbling towards the bottom. She ran quickly to meet back up with everybody.

“Jaime, calm down...” AJ pleaded, taking his distraughtly confused girlfriend in to his arms. He then turned back to everybody else with fire in his eyes, “What’s wrong?”

Jaime swallowed, trying to remove her hysteria before jumping to conclusions, “I...Lauren isn’t there...she’s not there,” she cried out, “Where’s my daughter, AJ? Where is...is she?”

AJ didn’t answer. He just turned away from Jaime who was crying in to his chest without even realizing the depth of the situation. The man glared at all three of his friends, making them feel as if they were about an inch in height. Kevin cowered down a little more, willing himself not to let his tears fall. It would only make the situation worse, if that was possible.

They say nothing is more devastating for a parent than having to burry a child.

Kevin winced as he thought this, feeling as if his heart were being pierced apart. Again, nobody spoke. He knew that his friends, like him, were afraid to. The consequences could be deadly and suddenly he wished he had fled the country and joined the witness protection program or something along those lines with Nick and Anna by his side. It was too late for that now and telling what had happened was already long overdue.

“Care to explain where Lauren is?” AJ asked with a stone cold voice. When nobody answered, he rose his voice in to a harsh shout, “Damnit, where is my daughter? Somebody fucking answer me now.”

Anna winced, looking at both men and then back to the couple. Jaime was now looking at her with pleading eyes to tell what was going on. She could tell by the look on her face that she already knew yet there was a glimmer of hope somewhere in there that she was going to be wrong. Sadly, she wasn’t and her motherly premonitions were correct. Anna would do anything to take away the pain that was about to be bestowed upon her friend. Anything at all. Unfortunately, life was being cruel and nothing could be done now.

“I’m so sorry,” Nick chose the wrong words to speak first because it just triggered AJ a little bit more, “Lauren...we fell asleep and woke up and she...she...” he couldn’t finish, so Kevin attempted to fill in.

“We took her to the hospital...called the ambulance...I...” he choked on his words, “We...they couldn’t do anything.”

“Where is my daughter.” AJ bellowed, not catching on as quickly as Jaime was. She was already on the floor screaming in hysterics, choking on her sobs. AJ was seeing red though, too caught up in his anger to notice his collapsed fiancé. Anna was already by her side, hugging her friend as she rubbed her back. Both girls were crying as AJ screamed, “Tell me...now.”

Kevin closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his friend like this and all of the guilt he’d been feeling started to come back. Or had it even left in the first place? Maybe it had just been misplaced temporarily. Either way, AJ was waiting for an answer and he knew that it was now that he’d have to deliver the news. The only thing that gave him any comfort was that he wasn’t completely alone.

“We...we took her to the hospital. There was something....missed when she was...born.” Kevin explained with tears streaking his face again. God, he felt as if he’d done nothing but cry. His sensitive soul was on overdrive, “They lost her...”

“No.” AJ yelled. He shook his head back and forth, refusing to believe what he was being told, “You are a sick bastard. What kind of fucking sick joke is this.”

By now, Jaime was crying harder and Kevin had paled, knowing that this was going to be harder than he originally thought. If only AJ would just accept it. But then again, if it were himself...Kevin wasn’t so sure he’d believe it either, or rather he’d try to be in denial so he wouldn’t have to.

“It’s not a joke.”

Out of nowhere, AJ lunged at Kevin, punching him in the eye and they the jaw. Kevin winced, but his emotional pain was too raw for him to really feel the physical. All he did was take a few more blows before using all of his upper body strength to push his smaller, younger friend off of him. It took a few seconds because of the fierce amount of adrenaline rushing through his veins, but eventually he succeeded, sending AJ tumbling to the floor.

“You sick fuck. Where is she? Where is Lauren? The joke is over.”

“It’s not a joke,” Nick piped up timidly, afraid that AJ would bestow the same fate upon him that he’d just witnessed with Kevin, “We’ve tried calling you over and over. The hospital called...”

Nick didn’t get the chance to finish because AJ was already digging in to his pocked, fumbling around with his phone as he brought it up, turning it on. He dialed in to voice mail, bringing it to his ear. All could tell that he was desperately hoping that he wouldn’t hear what Kevin and Nick were telling him. It was obvious that it was all becoming clear to him with each message he deleted once hearing the essentials. And finally, he closed his phone. At first, there was nothing but then he looked up with tears coming all at once, is breath catching in his throat. It was then that he saw Jaime on the floor crying, curled up in a tight ball. He dropped next to her, pulling her in to his arms.

“You killed my daughter,” he accused.

“No...it was a birth...” Nick tried to correct to Kevin’s defenses.

AJ ignored it though, “You’re just so fucking bitter that you can’t get it up long enough to fucking produce a child that you went and killed mine. What did I ever do to you. What did Jaime do?”

“I loved her like she was my own.” Kevin yelled.

“And you killed her because you couldn’t have her.” AJ yelled. He started to grow dizzy at the thought of never seeing Lauren again, “Get out of my house before I KILL you.” he seethed.

“AJ...I didn’t”

“OUT!” he screamed, leaping to his feet and heading towards Kevin again, who quickly wheeled himself backwards out of AJ’s path. He had no doubt in his mind that AJ would kill him, “I hate you. I fucking hate you and NEVER want to see you again.” Nick just sat stunned and cowered back when AJ’s anger filled eyes darted at him next, “That goes for you too.” both men just stared, stunned. Everybody in the room was in tears. Jaime had quieted and Anna was still hugging her for moral support, “GET OUT!” he screamed again, “I want you OUT...NOW.”

“I’m sorry...” Kevin tried, but stopped when he saw that his now former friend would have no problem murdering him. Slowly, he wheeled himself away with Nick getting up, trailing behind him without another word.

Watching them go, Anna hugged Jaime, whispering for her to call if she needed anything. She knew that both Jaime and AJ would need time alone to grasp the entire situation. Getting up, she smiled sadly at AJ through her own tears before darting after Kevin and Nick. It was out in the open now and all that could come to her mind was What next?

Chapter Twelve

Jaime sat in numbed silence as AJ drove them to the hospital. Neither had spoken a word since they’d left the house and both had tears streaking their frightened faces. During the entire ride, Jaime kept on hoping that this was all some huge mistake, despite all of the obvious facts that it was not. Still though, she kept holding on to the impossible odds that were not in the couples favor. Deep down, Jaime knew that she was setting herself up for even further heartache. Not even AJ’s furious driving phased her because honestly, if he were to lost control of the large vehicle and crash, leaving them both for dead, she believed that she would be happier. Being alive and without Lauren just seemed far worse somehow.

Despite her demented wishes, they made it to the hospital safely. AJ flew out of the SUV, almost forgetting to pull the keys from the ignition. Jaime followed, the next series of events going by in a dazed blur. Both ran in to the hospital as quickly as they could and to the pediatric ward in assumption as to that was where they needed to be. By the time they found it after a few wrong turns they were out of breath but too panicked to even notice. They just approached the nurses station without a second thought as AJ pulled Jaime’s hand in to his for support to both of them at what they were about to be told by actual medical officials.

“We’re here f or Lauren McLean,” AJ announced, or rather blurted, interrupting a young nurse from what she was doing.

“Please take a seat and I’ll be with you in a moment.” she told him softly, “I’ll have to have you fill out some paperwork.”

AJ’s face got hot as anger filled his every fiber. Could this lady not see by his disposition that this was an emergency? Were their blotched red eyes and Jaime nearly going in to hysterics not some indication that this was more than just an ordinary visit? Or was the woman just ignorant and insensitive?

“Listen, lady,” his voice rose, “Our daughter is in here. I’d like to know where right now.”

“Sir, just cooperate with me for a moment and...”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do,” AJ nearly yelled, “I want to know where my daughter is.”

The nurse sighed as she realized that AJ was going to be very stubborn and not going anywhere until he got his way. Putting aside what she’d been previously working on, the nurse did her best to put on a friendly face. It was obvious that she was tired and probably just ending a long shift, ready to leave for the day. AJ did not care though. He had more serious matters in his hands and refused to wait.

“What was the name again?” she asked him

AJ told her, spelling the name out in a rush when asked, the nurse punching the letters in to the keyboard of her computer one by one as he did so. There was nothing for a moment and then a look of sympathy crossed her face before she looked up at the parents. That one look said it all and caused Jaime to break down emotionally all over again. AJ just gripped her tighter as their entire world came crashing down upon them in an instant. Up until then, there had still been a chance that just maybe she was still alive.

“Dr Lawrence has been expecting you, “she stated, the pity-filled look never leaving her eyes, “I’ll have him paged.” she paused before asking, “Is there anything I can get for you?”

Both Jaime and AJ shook their heads with blank expressions on their faces as they finally took a seat. Neither spoke for what seemed to be the longest time. Reality was starting to set in at a rapid pace as the couple got a real grasp on the situation. The true denial would not wear off until later. Later was when the complete safety net would be torn away cruelly. When the doctor spoke the words and they were brought to their daughter was when everything would become reality once and for all. Jaime wasn’t sure if she wanted to come out of denial, but knew that it wasn’t healthy to stay in an unreal world.

“You holding up okay?” AJ barely whispered to her, wanting to reach over and squeeze her hand or something for some sort of support. He didn’t though, also wanting to keep to himself. The latter won out. He could feel himself falling apart but was trying as hard as he could to stay together for Jaime’s sake. He was the man. It was up to him to be there for his fiancé.

“Fine.” Jaime replied back, her voice also hardly coming out. In all reality though, she wasn’t fine. Not in the least bit

Deafening silence took over once more. Neither knew what to say and while Jaime wanted to talk to get out all of her pains and feelings, AJ wanted to just hide away in his own sorrows. He didn’t want to be dealing with this. He wanted to forget it all. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. This was real and this was something that he had to deal with. So many emotions were running through his mind, body and soul, yet none that he could express out in the open. That would only cause more pain to emerge. If he kept it in, then he could deal with it in his own way without having people trying to ‘help’ him.

And then there were Kevin and Nick, whom he wanted to slaughter. He didn’t care what they said. He truly believed that they killed his precious daughter. After all, she had been a perfectly healthy, happy baby girl with a small cold and touch of the flu up until they’d left. Gone for thirty-six hours, and suddenly, she was gone. AJ felt that was suspicious, needing to push the blame on to somebody. Kevin and Nick were the ones who were with her, therefore the easiest targets. AJ was just angry and bitter, which was to be expected. The thing was, the one and only thing that he could think of to help him cope, he couldn’t do. It scared him that this even crossed his mind, but he couldn’t help it.

Not long after, a doctor walked in to the small, confined room. He immediately walked up to them with confidence that they were whom he wanted to be speaking with. AJ and Jaime both stood on instinct, shaking hands with him. From that point on, everything moved in ultra-slow motion. It was as if they were watching a movie on their lives, only they had no idea what to expect.

“Mr and Mrs McLean, I assume?”

“Yes,” AJ sniffled through teary eyes, “And you are?”

“Doctor Lawrence,” he nodded, looking over at Jaime and then back to AJ. Something short of sympathy filled his eyes, but he continued to keep his professional composure, “Please...follow me.”

AJ and Jaime looked to one another before trailing after the man who was going to take them to an unknown place. If only they knew what to expect, then maybe things would be easier. Then again, it could make things harder too. No matter what, they knew that they weren’t being taken to their daughter in a hospital room hooked up to machinery to help make her better. It was too late for that for their little Lauren.

“First off, I need you to identify her as yours.” Dr. Lawrence explained, leading them to an elevator. He pressed the down arrow. Only seconds later, the doors opened and they entered, taking a spot beside two other doctors.

“Isn’t it obvious?” AJ managed to ask roughly.

“Well, um...I...” The doctor stuttered, AJ knowing that he’d struck a nerve. He was silent for a moment before saying, “It’s just procedure...something that we have to do.”

AJ managed a snort as he reached for Jaime’s hand, even though it felt unnatural to him. She took it without hesitation, squeezing as hard as she could for the moral support that she needed. The rest of the ride down the elevator was in silence, stopping once where the other two doctors stepped off. The next time the doors opened was their stop. They were in a basement of sorts, the morgue, Jaime was concluding. There was just something about the feeling of the place; eerie, dark, dungeon like.

Her thoughts were answered when they walked through a few hallways and then finally after one last turn, they entered an even darker room that appeared to be filled with lockers side by side, stacked on top of one another in a color of dark steel metal. Jaime knew better than that though. She knew what lied behind those closed doors and it caused her stomach to churn and her knees to grow weak. What scared her the most was that her daughter was behind one of those closed doors. Yes she couldn’t take her eyes off of the doctor as he walked over to the ‘lockers’, sticking a key in to one of them. Her breath caught in her throat as the door unlatched, and he opened it. Slowly, he pulled out a small metal slab. Jaime felt as if she were going to throw up as she saw a tiny body lying atop it, covered by a white sheet. She felt frozen in place, but when the doctor turned towards them, motioning for her and AJ to come closer. Jaime for one, didn’t know if she could, however she could feel AJ’s hand on the small of her back as he gently pushed her forward. It was then that they moved forward together towards the doctor and what lied beneath the sheet.

“Are you ready?”

Taking in a deep breath, AJ’s mind was screaming no, but what came out of his mouth instead was a shaky, “Yes.”

With one curt nod, Dr. Lawrence wrapped his fingers around the top of the sheet, slowly pulling it backwards to reveal a small body. Lauren. Jaime and AJ both stifled a sob as they looked down at her. It appeared that their baby girl was just sleeping, but her pasty complexion tinted with blue gave away that she was a step beyond that.

“My poor baby.” Jaime sobbed, her tears falling faster now.

AJ just stood and stared in a daze, not moving a muscle. His breathing had slowed significantly as he became paralyzed in place. It was at that single moment that everything came crashing. It was real now. This was something that they were dealing with personally. A parents worst nightmare...losing a child.

“C...can I hold her?”Jaime asked, her voice hardly coming out through her tears, “Just one last time?”

Dr. Lawrence nodded as he picked up the small body, placing Lauren within Jaime’s arms. Jaime took her, her body jumping slightly as she felt her daughter laying there. Hugging her close to her body, Jaime buried her face in to Lauren, crying harder than ever before. A second later, she felt AJ’s arm around her as he placed his other hand on Lauren, rubbing her gently as if he were afraid to touch her. He too was choking on his tears, nothing seeming right any longer. He had lost a huge part of his life and now he didn’t know that he wanted to go on. The saying of nothing being harder than losing a child was proving itself to be true. AJ didn’t think he’d ever gone through anything so hard, and that included the first few weeks clean and sober in rehab. This was definitely much more difficult.

“I love you Laur,” he found himself whispering as he bent down to kiss Lauren on the forehead, “I lo...love you so mu...much.”

The doctor gave the couple another few minutes in silence to hold their daughter and be close to her one last time before speaking, breaking the emotional moment between the newly broken family.

“I know now isn’t a good time to bring this up, but we need to start planning for the funeral.”

Jaime and AJ looked up quickly through red-rimmed eyes, “Huh?” they asked with blank expressions simultaneously.

‘The funeral...for Lauren.” Dr. Lawrence said again.

To be honest, neither parent had even thought about a funeral or arrangements. The thought scared them. Suddenly, AJ felt himself starting to grow light headed. The room started to spin rapidly in place and his knees grew weak. The last thing he heard as his legs gave out on him was Jaime calling his name as he fainted, everything suddenly becoming way too much for him all at once. Little did he know, things were about to get worse yet, if that was even possible.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking in to the house, AJ caught Jaime staring blankly in to space. She was sitting on the couch curled up in to a ball. She was sitting in the dark. One would think that she was asleep, except for the fact that once his own tearful eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see her own green ones glistening. He stood awkwardly in the entryway for a few moments, reminiscing on everything that had happened in the past two days. To be honest, he really didn’t remember much of it at all. Hesitantly, AJ advanced forward towards Jaime. He slowly sat down next to her, drawing her in to his arms. He kissed her forehead even though something about it felt unnatural and uncomfortable. Instead of moving though, he continued to hold her for a few moments as they cried in one another’s arms. AJ opened his mouth to speak, but tears clogged his throat. Bringing a hand up, he roughly wiped the tears from his eyes as he swallowed, trying again. This time, his voice came out softly and huskily.

“Babe...it’s past midnight. You...we should probably get to bed since the fu..fun...since we have a big day tomorrow.” he finally managed to get out.

“I can’t sleep.” Jaime replied blankly, pulling her knees up in to her chest defensively.

“You need to at least try.” AJ soothed, “We both do.”

Jaime didn’t reply right away, but when she did, she shook her head slowly. AJ sighed, hugging Jaime once more. He took in a deep breath, trying to compose himself while even though on the inside, he was a complete mess. His fiancé needed him though, and as the man, AJ felt that it was his responsibility to stay strong for her sake. He knew that if Jaime saw him breaking down, then it would only make things worse for her. In privacy was when AJ told himself he could finally let all of his emotions free.

“I don’t want morning to come.” Jaime whispered, her sudden voice startling AJ, “I keep thinking that maybe...if I don’t go to sleep, then it won’t.”

AJ hugged Jaime tighter, not knowing how to reply to that. He wished the very same thing, but knew that it would be impossible to wish and hope for something that wouldn’t happen. If anything, it would torture them more by staying awake. Time didn’t seem to be passing at all even though they knew that it was. Nothing was the same anymore, including their once perfect relationship that had been loving and full of respect, trust and always being there for one another. Feelings that had been meant to bring them together in marriage.

It couldn’t be denied though that the relationship was becoming rocky. AJ hardly knew what to say to Jaime anymore. It took effort to speak to her and attempt to carry on a conversation. Everything was tense and shaky. They were dealing with the death in different ways, so instead of bringing them closer, AJ could feel it dividing them apart. He hoped that once all of this was over, things would get better again. He hoped that he wouldn’t feel the urges he had been and that life could go on semi-normally. AJ didn’t know if he had the heart to bring all of this up to Jaime though, however chances were, she was feeling it too. The difference was, he could tell that she was trying to fight against it happening, denying it. He, on the other hand, knew that sometimes denial made things worse.

“I miss my baby,” Jaime cried out, burying her face in to AJ’s chest. She grabbed on to his shirt, clutching the fabric in her hands tightly in her balled up fists. She didn’t know if she’d ever felt so low in her life. In fact, it was a safe bet to say that she hadn’t, and never would again. Losing a child was the absolute worst thing that she could ever face...that anybody could ever face.

“I...I miss her...too.” AJ stammered, cursing under his breath that his tears were about to start falling once more.

All was silent for the longest of time. AJ didn’t know what to say and Jaime just didn’t say anything. Both were too distraught to think straight. AJ felt as if he were on the verge of going insane. It was the feeling that one got when they didn’t know what to do, or which way to turn, pressure building up on his brain with breathing becoming heavy yet shallow. It was a feeling he hated and he wished that he could get away. Jaime needed him though, so he knew that he had to stick around for her.

AJ knew that she’d fallen asleep though only a few minutes later when she’d fallen completely limp in his arms. There were still fresh tears in the corners of her eyes, and a few scattered on her blotched face, however she was finally asleep. AJ sighed, pulling a blanket off of the back of the couch, gently spreading it out over himself and his fiancé. Leaning back, Jaime remained in his arms as he closed his eyes in attempt to fall asleep too. Morning would come sooner than he knew and both of them would need all of the strength that they could muster up to get through the few hours of saying goodbye to their daughter one last time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sure enough, the morning came much too soon. The viewing had been emotional, which nobody expected it to be anything less. There had not been on person in the entire room that had not been crying. The outcome had been surprisingly big, each friend and family member of Jaime and AJ coming to pay their respects to little Lauren and her grief-stricken parents.

The burial hadn’t been much better. If anything, it had been worse. Hardly anybody had gotten up the courage to come and comfort neither AJ or Jaime because they hadn’t known what to say. Little did they know, a simple hug would have done wonders and would have meant more to them than anything else.

Jaime hardly remembered going up to Lauren’s casket, placing a kiss on it as she hugged it, setting a single rose on top as she walked away. She didn’t remember thinking that the wooden box was so tiny that it was impossible that an actual human was inside. She didn’t remember anything. Her motions were zombie-like, everything going by in a dazed blur. A doctor had prescribed a sedative for her and AJ both to take to help keep them calm. It was working wonders, but to Jaime, it was working a little too well, for wasn’t she supposed to be wailing and sobbing violently? Wouldn’t letting the pain out make more sense than having it kept in by the help of medications?

Leaving the cemetery had been the hardest part of all. Jaime hadn’t waited to leave. As everybody else was walking away for a small gathering at her and AJ’s house, she had opted to stay behind for a few minutes longer. She’d sat on the ground next to Lauren, just crying softly. It wasn’t until AJ had joined her, picking her up softly by pulling on her hands. Gently, he led her away with his hand placed ever so lightly on her back. Every now and then, they would look behind them as they ventured towards the limo waiting to take them home. There really was nothing else that they could do at the cemetery. Everything had been said and done, the funeral over. AJ for one was both relieved and sad over this. Lauren, after three days, was finally put to rest once and for all. In that sense, he was relieved. The sadness came in to play though when he realized that there was no turning back. It was, in fact, over and he had to come to grips that this was real.

Kevin and Nick had been at the funeral and the viewing. AJ had been furious, storming up to them demanding why they were there. Their response had been that of they wanted to be there to show their support. After that, AJ had gone ballistic through his tears, screaming at them to get away and that they didn’t belong there. After all, why would the two reasons for all of this even deserve to show their faces. Jaime hadn’t argued, telling them that it would be best if they just left as well. AJ prayed that for the two mens lives as well as his police record, which so far was pretty clean, that they wouldn’t be at the house when they arrived. If they were, he guaranteed that there would be two more funerals being planned that night.

The ride back to their home had been a long one. Jaime had just stared out of the window as the scenery passed them by. She hadn’t said anything. AJ didn’t either. In fact, he pretty much had kept to himself on the other side of the long car. He felt like he had to start the healing process now, caught in between wanting to pull away and still be there for Jaime. Everything was a mess.

When the limo pulled in to the driveway, there were already cars lining up and down both sides and a few scattered in the yard where they wouldn’t fit elsewhere. For what seemed like forever, the couple sat in the car not moving. Going inside with everybody else would come with unexpected amounts of sympathy and people looking at them as if they didn’t know what to say. They didn’t want sympathy. Sympathy made things worse.

‘Jaime,” AJ finally spoke, “We’re home.” he added, and by the look on her face when she looked around, AJ realized that she hardly even noticed at all.

“Oh.” Jaime muttered, opening the door as she got out of the car

AJ followed close behind her and soon, they were in the middle of a series of hugs and spoken words of consolation. They smiled politely through their tears, but on the inside, they were dying. After a few minutes, AJ and Jaime were separated and with their own groups of friends and family. It wasn’t until Jaime’s friends had walked away and she had turned to talk to her fiancé though that she noticed he wasn’t there.

Making her way through small groups of people, she looked for him everywhere, not seeing him with anybody. She’d even asked a few people, but nobody seemed to know AJ’s whereabouts. That didn’t stop her from searching though, and when she finally found him, her heart sank.

AJ was sitting outside on the porch smoking a cigarette. He’d quit smoking around the same time that they had started dating, knowing that she worried about his health without her even having to say a word. He’d started again though, causing Jaime to wonder if this was the first time or if it had been going on for a few days now. She sighed, watching only a few more moments before walking away. They all had their own way of dealing with the pain. Perhaps this was his, something to calm him down. A crutch to help him get by. Jaime had yet to find her way of getting through this. All she knew was that her life was falling apart. AJ’s life was falling apart. She felt numb, but at least while she was numb, she couldn’t feel nearly what was about to come yet.

For those of you who've actually been reading this, sorry for the lack of updating. I've been very discouraged lately with my writing due to lack of feedback. So PLEASE let me know what you're thinking. I know that the next few chapters (and last few) have been pretty emotional...and a lot of drama is to follow. Hopefully you will take just a second to review though. It honestly only takes a minute. Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll be back soon with 13. It is already written...but I am not going to post it for only one person. Especially when I use every free moment I have to write the chapter in the middle of working 50 hours a week. Okay....sorry, a little depressed and discouraged, as I said...anyways, thanks for reading.

Chapter Thirteen

Anna sighed as she looked around the downstairs, making sure that everything was tidied up for the night before shutting out the lights. Darkness took over the entire house while she made her way towards the staircase, ascending up them. Another long day was done, the time ticking by slower and slower with each hour that passed. It had been that way ever since Lauren’s passing...and not only for the parents, but for everybody in the close knit circle of friends. Thankfully, it was time for bed. That meant sleeping away a good eight hours that would otherwise be silently spent like the rest.

It had been exactly one week to the day since the infants funeral. Of course, Anna hadn’t expected things to go back to normal already...or anything even close any time soon. She also hadn’t thought that things would continuously get worse either. It seemed that they were though. She’d hardly spoken to Jaime or AJ, whom kept to themselves and very rarely answered to phone calls. Anna realized that they needed time alone, but she was worried. Nick was also different. He wasn’t his usual playful self, but a shadow...a serious version of what he once was. Kevin was sinking further and further in to his own shell of depression, which scared Anna more than anything else. The last time he’d been depressed, he’d tried to kill himself, barely escaping his self inflicted gun shot wound alive. Things had finally been starting to look up with Kevin and he’d been truly happy for the first time in years. The possibilities of what this would do to him scared Anna half to death. She didn’t blame him for his mind being affected, but he did have a history now of...

Shaking those thoughts from her mind, Anna walked in to her bedroom. She was somewhat surprised to see Kevin sitting in bed and awake still. He was reading a book, his face full of concentration. Anna stopped in the doorway and just watched him for a long moment, smiling at the sight of him looking so innocent. He really had improved in more ways than he gave himself credit for in the past year, able to move from his wheelchair, which was positioned next to him, and in to bed...or the couch, all by himself. Anna knew that wasn’t much to him, but she was proud of his every little accomplishment nonetheless.

“Hey there?” she finally spoke up, moving forward in to the room. Kevin looked up and she smiled at him. He smiled back, putting the book aside, but she could tell that it was forced. Pulling the sheets back on her side of the bed, Anna slid beneath them, leaning over to kiss Kevin on the cheek, “What are you reading?”

Kevin shrugged, “Some Stephen King novel.”

Anna raised an eyebrow and laughed lightly, “Sounds gruesome. I tried to read one of those a few years ago and only made it halfway through before freaking out completely. I had to stop reading.” she waited for Kevin to laugh, but when he didn’t she frowned, “Is something wrong, sweetie?”

She could see Kevin tense as he looked away. He didn’t reply though, telling Anna that there was something troubling his mind. She let out a small sigh as she leaned in to his side, wrapping her arms around his strong, lean body. Kevin hardly responded to the gesture, simply dipping his face in to her neck for a moment, kissing her so lightly that she’d hardly felt it at all. Anna opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again just as soon, not really knowing what to say. What could she say? For nearly a week, she’d hardly asked Kevin at all what was wrong, letting him have time to collect his thoughts and come to her. That never happened though. Anna knew that she was risking Kevin not communicating with her by a long shot, but decided that she had to at least try when the visions of him in a coma came back fresh in her mind again. On instinct, she placed her fingers on the scary tissue of where the bullet wound was, now healed. She rubbed it gently in circles as she pulled away slightly, looking at him.

“Kevin, what is it?”

“Nothing important.” he murmured.

“You’re worrying me though, hun. I know when something is bothering you. Please...don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”

All was silent for another few long moments. At first, Anna thought that he wasn’t going to reply, but rather pull away even more, shutting the lights out and turning away from her to hint that he wanted the conversation to be over. He didn’t though. Instead, he sat there. His breathing pattern had changed, the breaths coming out further apart and harder and it was as if he were in some sort of trance. When his voice came out though, the harshness of his tone made the girl jump ever so slightly.

“Gee...just a week ago, my best friends child died in my arms....literally...” his voice trailed off, “I killed a nine month old. I think that is reason enough to have something on my mind.”

Anna winced at his words, but not because they were a slam to her for asking, but because she hated that he was putting such a heavy load on himself.

“Hun, you didn’t do anything.”

Kevin grunted, “Right.”

“You didn’t. The doctors have said a dozen times that it was a heart defect. Nothing could have helped her. Nothing.”

“Is that why AJ and Jaime won’t even speak to me?”

“They’re upset, Kevin. Give them time. They just lost a child. I’m sure you’d be just as withdrawn if it were your child that died.”

Kevin tensed even more at the mention of ‘his child’. Anna was right in the sense that he would be just as distraught if it were his child. The fact of the matter was, he was still left without the blessing of raising his own kid and was already in his mid thirties. At this rate, he wasn’t sure if he ever would be a father.

“AJ told me he hates me. You heard him, Anna. He’s never going to forgive me for this.”

Anna swallowed, offering Kevin a smile as she shifted her body towards him, taking his hand within her own. She looked deep in to his green eyes, searching his soul. She saw his entire being filled with guilt and pain. The man was putting so much blame on himself. She could see it by the way his eyes were, their shine gone. All that was left was an empty look, the greens dull and lifeless. It was that and the expression on his face that gave it all away.

“He needs time, Kev. I promise you, everything will be okay. AJ just lost his daughter, whom he adored and loved with his life. He’s hurting. I know you feel guilty because you were the one babysitting. Nick is feeling guilty too. Neither one of you did anything wrong though,” Anna said softly, “I love you, Kevin. I don’t want you to go on thinking you caused this and carry this heavy guilt. It isn’t healthy.”

Kevin didn’t say anything for a long time. He just sat there in silence, breaking the eye contact Anna had made with him. His body was still stiff. Anna’s heart raced, hoping that he was considering her words. She knew though that he wasn’t when he abruptly pulled away from her. Reaching over, he turned the light off on the night stand next to him. Slouching back, he lay down completely, closing his eyes in hopes that it would be enough to tell Anna that he didn’t feel like having this conversation.

“Kevin?”

“I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.”

“But Kev...”

“I said goodnight.” he emphasized, “I love you.”

Anna sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to get anywhere. She didn’t want to push him or nag, but it didn’t stop her from worrying as she too laid down. Especially when she heard the softest of sniffles coming from Kevin’s side of the bed, causing her heart to break for him even more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aje?” Jaime called out weakly, making her way slowly through their house. When she got no response, she called his name again. “Alex?”

There was still no reply, causing Jaime to raise an eyebrow. Had he left without saying anything? She really wouldn’t put that past him, for in the last week, they’d barely spoken at all. In fact, he’d hardly moved from his position on the couch and she had hardly moved from bed. It was just within the past day and a half that she’d actually made some attempt to get up and go about life as best she could. Her muscles ached though with every step that she took and she felt as if she had no energy left at all. Not only that, her appetite was as good as gone. She had to force herself to eat, it mostly being just a few bites of something in an entire day. Nothing was the same. She felt lost and alone, yet she couldn’t cry. All the tears that her body would allow had come already. Now all that was left were dry tears and a feeling of emptiness within her that left a sinking depression, and the thing was she had nobody to fall back on because AJ was pulling away more and more and she didn’t feel like talking to any of her friends. She didn’t want their pity or look at them and know that they didn’t know what to say to her. It would be too awkward and hurt her too much.

Yawning, Jaime continued to walk through the house, her eyes feeling heavy and burning. Her entire body was protesting her being up and about, but she wanted to see her fiancé. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach though when she still couldn’t find him, her mind thinking up the worst possible scenarios of where he could be or if he was okay.

“AJ?” she tried one more time, walking past Lauren’s room, avoiding actually looking at it. Something made her stop and backtrack though, for the door was open halfway. Ever since she’d died, her and AJ had kept the door closed, feeling it to be too painful for them to have to look in to her room every time they walked by and see her toys, crib and pictures all over the place. When she looked in to the room, the image before her made her heart break in to even more tiny pieces as a lump caught in her throat.

There AJ stood several feet inside of the room. In fact, he was right by Lauren’s crib, staring off in to space. What caused her the most pain though was the image of him clutching a small stuffed teddy bear close to his chest. The one that he had bought for her the day she’d been born. It always had been her favorite stuffed animal, as she had slept with it every single night and cried if you took it from her. Swallowing hard, Jaime wiped a few stray tears that had actually welled up in her eyes, deciding to make her move.

“Hey there.” she stated softly, entering the room for the first time in seven days. Everything was still in place as if nothing had changed. The only thing missing was Lauren. Jaime would have liked to think that she was just at a babysitters or something. They all knew that wasn’t true though, but for just a moment, Jaime pictured that it was, “What are you doing?” she asked him once she was by his side, looking in to the empty crib.

AJ didn’t reply, but he held the bear closer to him, its fuzzy fur brushing against his face as he buried his nose in to it. Jaime could see his lean shoulders trembling, telling her that he was crying again. She moved to wrap her arms around him, but thought better of it as she stepped back again. She just stood there instead, watching him and then looking back to the empty crib. She closed her eyes, trying with everything that was in her not to break down completely, but she could feel herself losing that battle. Especially when AJ spoke, his voice raspy and hardly audible, but startling nonetheless.

“It still smells like her.” he whispered with a quavering voice.

It was those words that made Jaime lose her composure completely. To her, the entire room still smelled like Lauren. She could tell that AJ too though, was sobbing beyond his control. With that in common, she pulled her fiancé in to her arms, embracing him in a hug that they both desperately needed. AJ was reluctant at first, but soon he was turned to hug Jaime fully, bending down to sob on her shoulder. His tears soaked through her shirt, but she hardly noticed. All she seemed to detect was the feeling of her and AJ’s first close moment since the incident and the bear pressing against her back as AJ hugged her. Together they wept, chocking on sobs and trying to swallow them away. It was as if everything they’d been trying to hold in was finally coming out, catching up with them all at once in one huge emotional moment.

“Everything will be okay,” Jaime whispered in attempt to soothe AJ, even though she didn’t even believe the words herself, “We’ll get through this together.”

“I just feel so helpless,” AJ choked, “I miss her so much.”

He could feel himself falling apart more and more every day because of the pain he felt inside. As much as he was trying to fight against it, AJ didn’t know how much longer he could hold back and resist the urges he was feeling. He knew he had to try though, even though deep down he knew that eventually he would crack and cave if the shallow feeling in his heart didn’t go away soon.

“I miss her too.” Jaime whispered tearfully.

With those words spoken, AJ pulled away quickly and abruptly. Wiping the tears from his eyes roughly, he placed the bear back in to the crib without a care as he tried to put on a tough front even though Jaime could see right past his rough image and in to his soft heart that nobody saw him to have.

“I need to get out of here,” he stated out of nowhere, “I’ll um...I’ll be back later.”

Without another word, AJ swiftly walked out of the room. Seconds later, Jaime could hear him running down the stairs and then the front door slamming shut as he left completely. His intended whereabouts, Jaime had no idea. All she knew was that she’d been left alone again. Her first bonding moment with AJ in over a week had ended just as soon as it had started, leaving her with the feeling that here relationship was suffering as she sunk to her knees and cried for both the loss of Lauren and now possibly AJ as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe we’ve been together officially for a month already.” Brad exclaimed as he picked up his glass of wine in a toast to Stephanie, “Here’s hoping for another month to go just as well.”

Stephanie smiled at Brad, clinking her own glass against his like she knew he wanted. Her mind and heart was only half in to the occasion though. She felt bad about it, because Brad had gone through a lot of trouble to make sure the night was special. The restaurant alone was probably costing him an entire nights pay of tips...if not, two. He’d also rented out a limo and had planned for later on a Broadway musical. She didn’t know what to say to his sweet efforts, but she did know that Brad was great...

...If only her mind weren’t preoccupied with other things. Looking down at her now seven-month pregnant stomach, she sighed as she rubbed it lightly in circles. In only two months, she would be a mother. She was scared to death though of venturing in to that world. It was too late to turn back time now though. What was done was done. That only made the fear more intense though, the stress she was feeling immaculate. And to top it off, she had nobody to help her out with raising the baby.

“Is everything okay?” Brad asked with concern etched in his soulful eyes, “Aren’t you having a good time?”

Stephanie looked up distracted, “Oh...yes. I’m having a great time. This is all wonderful.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Stephanie shrugged, “It’s stupid. Nevermind.”

Brad reached across the table, grabbing Stephanie’s hands in his. He looked deep into her green eyes, “Steph, if it is troubling you, then it’s not stupid.”

Stephanie smiled at Brad again, only this time it was more genuine. He was so sweet to her and cared about her feelings. If something was bothering her, he wanted to know what it was so he could try to make it better for her. Nick had been similar, but at the same time always ended up doing something stupid or not taking things seriously. Nick hated serious moments, therefore he always tried to make Stephanie feel better through jokes rather than talking it out with her.

‘Steph?”

Stephanie looked up, realizing that she had spaced out again. She shrugged apologetically, “Sorry...I just have some things on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Honestly...since this whole thing with Jaime and AJ’s baby...I’m terrified to have my own.”

Brad had been one of the first to know about Lauren’s death. Stephanie had told him right away pretty much. Although he hadn’t gone to the funeral, he’d been there for Stephanie right after, who’d been pretty emotional over the whole thing. After all, Lauren had been like a niece to her and it killed her on the inside to see her best friends losing a child. The funeral had been extremely bittersweet and emotional. Calling Brad and having him to fall back on had seemed to be her only option. He’d been her shoulder to cry on and had made her feel better. Stephanie hated the fact that she had been relying on a man, but she figured that there was a first time for everything. Her hard shell had been cracked and she’d let him in after realizing that she could trust him.

“You’re going to be an amazing mother, Stephanie. You’re great with children.”

“That isn’t the problem,” Stephanie admitted, then sighed, “Well..it somewhat is I guess. But mostly, I am afraid that it’s going to die too. I can’t stand to lose my child, Brad.”

“Babe, what happened to Lauren was a freak thing. She had a rare heart condition. The chances of something happening to your baby are slim to none. It’s going to be perfectly healthy and grow up with a loving mommy who gives it he world.”

“But we thought Lauren was healthy...”

“Nothing is going to happen,” Brad assured her, interrupting softly, “Don’t stress out so much. It will harm both of you if you.”

Stephanie didn’t say anything for a long moment. She really didn’t know what to say. Brad obviously had different views on her abilities. He believed in her where she wasn’t so sure she believed in herself. Especially after all that was going on lately. A nervous wreck was what she was on the insides, but nobody ever saw her let that show because everybody knew her for having an ‘I don’t give a shit about the world’ attitude to keep her from getting hurt. Brad, however, was seeing a side of her that hardly anybody knew, and was looking at her expectantly for an answer to which she knew she’d have to reply to.

“I know...” Stephanie sighed, “What if I am a bad mother? And it needs a father, but it doesn’t have a father any longer...I need somebody to help me raise her.”

“I’ll help you.” Brad offered.

“I could never expect that of you.” Stephanie sighed, “That wasn’t what I meant.”

‘But I want to,” Brad assured her, “You will be an amazing mother and I will help you the whole way.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Brad smiled, kissing her hands, the candles glow causing the light and shadows to flicker and dance across their faces, “I swear.”

“Okay...” Stephanie finally gave in.

“So, do you feel better?” she nodded, “Good. Now lets forget about the subject and enjoy the rest of the evening. No more stressing.” he pointed a finger at Stephanie to which she rolled her eyes at but she couldn’t help but smile anyways.

Chapter Fourteen

 

    Jaime sighed as she stared blankly at the salad she’d ordered for lunch. When did she ever tell the server what she wanted? She couldn’t recall, and looking down at the food in front of her, it seemed unappetizing and she really didn’t feel like eating at all. A single tear fell from her eye, sliding down her cheek despite the sedatives she was on to try and calm her jumbled nerves and hysterical emotions that were prone to pop up out of nowhere.

 

    “So, how are things with Bradly?” Anna teased, and Jaime looked up with a fogged over glaze in her eyes, not even knowing what conversations had been going on around her.

 

    “Good,” Stephanie shrugged, “He’s a great guy and all…but you know how I feel about relationships. Just taking it one day at a time, I guess.”

 

    “You should go for it!” Anna enthused, encouraging her friend to get back out in to the dating world, “After all, you said the same thing before dating Nick…”

 

    “And he cheated on me,” Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Proving my point about dating to begin with…hence the reason I am a little skeptical about going there again.”

 

    “You should give Brad a shot though,” Gloria mused thoughtfully, “I mean, he seems sweet from what you’ve told us. I mean, c’mon…offering to help you take care of a child that isn’t even his? He’s had eyes for you since you met him in that damned restaurant.”

 

    Stephanie shook her head deciding to ignore the conversation completely. The truth was, she really did like Brad…quite a bit. But after what Nick had done to her, she just couldn’t risk putting her heart out on the line again. At least, not so soon. It was hard for her to explain. If somebody were to ask her what her and Brad where, she supposed she would say that they were dating. But if  asked how serious they were, she would likely tell them ‘not very’. She knew that this left her vulnerable for somebody else to come in and whisk Brad away. After all, the man was absolutely gorgeous. To her though, it was still better than trusting him too soon. This was like a trial period. If he passed, then they would advance further. If he failed, he would be gone.

 

    “Enough about Brad…” she stated as her friends continued to talk about her guy. Both looked at her, and she was about to say something else when Anna turned away, speaking before she had the chance to.

 

    “Jaime…you alright?”

 

    Jaime looked up meekly, her mouth twisted in to a frown, her eyes showing tortured sadness. When she started to nod her head in an unconvincing ‘yes’ however, that was when the tears started to flow. Hundreds of tears that had been pent up for so long as she’d tried to stay strong and tough, feeling that showing weakness was just that…being weak. She hated looking weak in public, but she knew that she couldn’t keep her guard up any longer because the wall she’d built around herself was quickly breaking down.

 

    “I miss Lauren…’ she took in a loud sniffle.

 

    “Aww, honey…” Anna got out of her seat to pull Jaime in to a hug, “We know you do.”

 

    “I just… want her… back…I’d give my own… life to have my daughter… back.” He hiccupped violently though her trembling voice.

 

    Nobody knew what to say to their friend, exchanging worried glances. It had been nearly a month since the infants death, and things didn’t seem to be getting much easier. Not that anybody expected it to, because the pain was still fairly fresh in their minds. Nobody could imagine how Jaime felt, or AJ for that matter. AJ just kept to himself though, never leaving the home. One could only begin to guess what he was doing as he sat in the dark alone, staring blankly in to space.  Each and every person in Jaime’s life gave the girl credit for beginning to creep back out in to the world, knowing that she’d be depressed but with time and patients, things would get easier for her.

 

    “Believe it or not, things won’t always be this hard.” Stephanie said softly, “It doesn’t seem like it now, and it wont ever completely go away, but one day…although you’ll miss her, you’ll be able to look back on the memories you did have, and smile though your tears.”

 

    Jaime snorted, “Right.” She said shortly.

 

    “You will…we promise you that.” Gloria encouraged, placing a hand on her shoulder to comfort the upset woman.

 

    Jaime just shrugged, not feeling the energy to talk. Her throat felt raw from all of the tears, her eyes burning just the same. She knew that her friends were only trying to help, but was angry with them for saying that things would get easier in time, when they had no clue what she was going through. They could pretend all they wanted, and even try to guess, but nobody truly knew what she was going through unless they too experienced it.

 

    “I want to go home.” She sighed dramatically.

 

    The girls exchanged a look, wanting to do anything to make Jaime feel better. Wracking their brains to think of something that could possibly do the trick, their eyes lit up. They weren’t going to let Jaime go home and wallow just yet, because the vulnerable woman being left alone couldn’t result in anything good. If this didn’t work, then they would take her home, but it didn’t hurt to give it a try, even if it only cheered her up temporarily.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

    “So, have Aje or Jaime spoken to you at all?”

 

    Nick shook his head, not really knowing what to say. He sighed, plucking up a few strands of grass from the yard, letting them slip from his fingers. Children’s cries of laughter could be heard from nearby as parent pushed them on swings or they were caught up in a game of tag. He couldn’t help but smile at how innocent the kids were, not having to deal with the everyday stress that adults had to.

 

    “Me either,” Kevin commented, “I’ve tried calling them, but I never get an answer. Or if I do, I always get hung up on.”

 

    “Same here,” Nick sighed, “I wish things would get back to normal.”

 

    All Kevin could do was nod his head in response. What more could he add on to that? Normal was as far from what his life had become as it could get. Just about a month had passed since the death of Lauren and things seemed to be continuously spiraling downhill. He was still convinced that AJ and Jaime hated both him and Nick. Kevin really didn’t blame them for this though. The guilt that he felt weighed so strongly on his heart still that he didn’t think that there was anything that could ever possibly heal it.

 

    “Every damned time I see parents with their kids, I think that it should be Aje and Jaime.” Kevin said quietly, “It is a constant reminder of this unfair, cruel, shitty world.”

 

    “Man, same here,” Nick agreed.

 

    “Everything was finally getting back on track,” Kevin grumbled, “I mean, my paralysis and suicide attempt…well, it put a hold on things for quite a while. Things were finally getting back to normal and now this had to happen.”

 

    Nick didn’t know what to say to that, for the elder man proved a good point. This latest drama would surely put another damper on the flow of everything. He wondered why it seemed that nothing could go right for any of them as of late. It seemed as if there were some evil force out to get each and every one of the members of the close knit family. After all, his ex had torn him from his girlfriend and child, and now AJ and Jaime’s child had been torn from them. Kevin’s ability to walk had been ripped out from under him, landing him in a wheelchair for what seemed to be the rest of his life. The only thought that came to Nick’s mind was ‘who will be next’?

 

    “None of this seems fucking fair. I just wish they would talk to us…even if it is to scream, and yell, an throw a fit,” Nick shrugged sheepishly, “It would be better than nothing, don’t ya think?”

 

    “I guess so.” Kevin sighed.

 

    “You guess so?”

 

    “I mean…I want them to talk to us again. I want everything to go back to how it was before I was Lauren died, before Steph left you, beore I was paralyzed, before…”

 

    “Before the girls game into our lives?” Nick questioned, looking up with sad eyes.

    “Sometimes I think it would be easier…” Kevin admitted somberly, “Damnit, I sound like a selfish prick for even saying that.”

 

    “Its crossed my mind too,” Nick admitted, “Several times, actually.”

 

    Kevin breathed out a sigh of relief that his thoughts were not alone. It still didn’t stop him from feeling like the worlds biggest asshole. He didn’t know what was wrong with him lately, but it was as if a deep depression had taken over his entire being. It went back further than the death of his best friends child too. Sure, for awhile he had truly been happy, but now he saw that that happiness just wasn’t meant to last. Every time he saw a glimmer of what his life could be like, it was ripped away from him with cruelty to remind him of what his life was now supposed to be like.

 

    “I love Anna with all of my heart, and can’t imagine my life without her in it now…but…if I had never met her, then I wouldn’t be paralyzed. I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. Steph wouldn’t be pregnant and you wouldn’t be left heartbroken over her. Lauren would have never died. Hell, Lauren would have never existed.”

 

    “Yeah, but they say everything happens for a reason…” Nick tried.

 

    Kevin snorted, “It just seems that the world is out to get us.”

 

    “That’s ridiculous.” Nick expressed, “Things will get better soon.”

 

    Kevin smiled, although it was a forced one. He didn’t see how things could ever get better at this rate. The damage was almost to the point of irreversible. It just seemed like the entire group along with their close friendships were suffering. What irritated Kevin the most was the fact that he couldn’t do a thing about it to make any of it better for anyone.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

    Jaime yawned as she unlocked the door to her home, feeling sluggish and as if she hadn’t slept in days. All of her energy was gone and she was looking forward to curling up beneath the covers of her bed, falling asleep. The day and been eventful, her friends taking her to dinner and then the mall. Normally, she would still be on a shopping adrenaline rush with lots of energy to spare as she showed off her purchases to AJ in excitement, even modeling a new little piece of sexy something for him to peel off of her. But beings she hadn’t been out in two weeks and did nothing but lie around the house without moving, the day had taken a lot out of her.

 

    Setting the bags by the door once inside, Jaime looked around her home for a moment. Once again, everything was dark, giving the impression that nobody but her was home. Letting out a heavy sigh, Jaime just leaned against the wall, making no attempt to turn the lights on. In a weird kind of way, the blackness calmed her, fitting her sullen, dark mood.

 

    Listening carefully, Jaime hoped, even prayed, that she would hear Lauren crying out for a feeding or because she needed her diaper changed. She opened her ears, begging with all of her heart to hear something, anything, that would tell her that all of this had just been a bad nightmare and her daughter was still with her and that everything would be okay. Reality harshly hit again though and Jaime realized that her daughter was not coming back. Not now, not ever. She would never again hear the little girls infectious laughter, or look into her bright, curious eyes.

 

    “What did I ever do to you,” Jaime suddenly cried out, collapsing to the ground, talking towards the sky, “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

 

    Hunching over, Jaime buried her head within her hands, sobbing openly without holding anything back. Nothing could ever compare to the pain that she felt, wishing that she could just curl up in a ball and fade away from the cruel and hurtful world. She was so engrossed in her thoughts and misery, that Jaime didn’t notice AJ creeping up behind her, watching without saying a word for several long moments. He just watched, wondering what to make of the situation and contemplating on if whether or not he should say anything.

 

    “What are you doing?”

 

    Jaime looked up startled, seeing AJ standing above her. Quickly getting to her feet, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling. As she looked deep within his eyes, she saw that for the first time, she couldn’t read a thing within them. It was almost as if he were soulless, the tragedy in their lives sucking out the spirit and life within him. It was having the same effect on both of them, however they were dealing in different ways.

 

    “I…I didn’t know you were here.” Jaime stammered, not knowing what else to say.

 

    “Where else would I be?” AJ questioned, his tone somewhat harsh.

 

    All Jaime could do was shrug, “I don’t know…it was so dark. I figured maybe you went out with the guys.”

 

    AJ let out a forced, bitter laugh that somewhat scared Jaime, “No…that’s you,” he nodded towards her bags, “I don’t go out shopping and forgetting what happened to take the pain away.”

 

    “That’s not fair!” Jaime exclaimed, starting to sob all over again, “It’s not like that.”

 

    With a snort, AJ just turned away, starting to leave Jaime alone once more, but she wasn’t about to give up so quickly. It was the first time since the death that she’d felt any sort of strain on their relationship. It had been the first time that AJ had been short and cruel with his remarks, making Jaime wonder what had chanced. She’d already lost her daughter. Losing her fiancé on top of that was something she didn’t know if she could even begin to handle.

 

    “What is up with you?” Jaime tried, but when AJ just kept walking, she cried out more desperately, “Would you stop….please.”

 

    AJ’s steps slowly came to a halt, but he didn’t turn around. Neither said anything for what seemed to be the longest of moments. What was there to say really? Jaime wasn’t sure, but desperately wanted for AJ to just wrap her up in a hug and tell her that everything would be okay. When he made no effort though to try and comfort her, not even noticing that she needed him, it caused her to break down all over again.

 

    “What did you want?” came a monotone voice that was so emotionless that it shocked Jaime.

 

    “How’ve you been?” was al she could come up with lamely, after wracking her brain for something, anything to say.

 

    “Fucking peachy.” Was AJ’s reply, “Now if you don’t mind, I would like to be left alone.”

 

    “Please talk to me.” Jaime asked meekly, hating to sound so desperate, “I need you.”

 

    Finally, AJ whipped around. His eyes were finally showing something to be read, but it wasn’t the sympathy or sadness that Jaime had expected. It was anger and fire. A hatred that was directed towards her.

 

    “Well I don’t need you.” He barked out.

 

    Staring blankly at her fiancé in shock, Jaime wasn’t sure if she had heard him correctly, but knew she had when he spoke again, his voice coming out more harshly this time.

 

    “I don’t need you now, and I never will…so get the hell out and leave me the fuck alone.”

 

    “But Aje…”

 

    “Out” he bellowed, pointing towards the door, rage surging through his veins,

 

    “Please, let’s just talk.”

 

    With a roll of his eyes, AJ grabbed Jaime by the top of her arm, squeezing tightly as he drug her across the house, ignoring her pleas of protest and cries that he was hurting her. He didn’t listen at all as she started to scream, frightened by his sudden change in temper and violent nature at that moment, not caring in the least bit.

 

    “It told you do leave me alone,” he seethed, squeezing his nails into her arm so tightly that she was sure it would leave bruises. Opening the front door, Jaime’s eyes widened as she understood what was about to happen, “Now get lost.”

 

    “AJ, no.” Jaime cried out, as he thrust her out of the door full force, causing her to land hard on the ground. With a wince, Jaime looked up, pain surging through her entire body, but the door was already closed. She was alone, and despite the fact that she was going to have to find elsewhere to stay for the night, her main worry was the fact that her relationship was suffering, and there didn’t seem to be anything she could do about it.