Touring with the Backstreet Boys for their album, Never Gone, was over and Brian could now fully concentrate on recording and promoting his album. Brian stared at the pages that lay in his hands, the pages that contained all the lyrics to the songs he would be recording in the weeks ahead. He looked through the typed lyrics word by word, stanza by stanza, song by song, until he read through all of the pages. He lay back in his chair, knowing the difficulties he would face even in recording itself. He knew that he would do all the vocals in most of the songs. He also knew that it took a lot of time to mix and master all the recordings. It wouldn’t be easy doing all of this.
He looked up from his sea of thoughts when Nick came into the room. Even though they were officially done with the tour, Nick would drop by occasionally in Brian’s place to ‘hang around’. All of the Backstreet Boys knew that Brian was recording his own album so they would sometimes ask him for updates.
“What ya got there?” Nick asked, sitting beside Brian in the already tight cushion.
“The lyrics to the songs.” Brian replied while standing up, aware that both of them wouldn’t fit on the same cushion.
“Oh, okay. How many songs are you planning to record?” Nick asked Brian curiously.
Brian thought for a moment and finally told him, “Ten.”.
At that moment, Billy Mann entered the room with a mischievous grin.
“Hello. How are you, Brian?” Billy greeted Brian.
“I’m fine. How are you?” he replied shaking his hand.
“We need to talk. It’s business.” Billy whispered in Brian’s ear.
“Do we mind if we go out for a second, Nick?” Billy asked him before going out with Brian.
“Not a chance, I’m going out.” Nick replied as he stood up from the cushion and left the room to get a drink.
“Brian, I’ve made a little changes on ‘Gone Without Goodbye’ and I wanted you to know about them.” Billy told him showing him one of the papers he held.
“Okay.” Brian replied as he got out the lyrics for ‘Gone Without Goodbye’.
After writing out the corrections he asked Billy, “Is there anything more you want from me?”.
“No, that’s all. Though I just wanted to tell you that we’re composing a song.”.
“Haven’t you told that to me already?” Brian asked as he stood up to leave.
“Oh, come on, Brian.” Billy remarked as he stood up and caught him by the shoulder before he had the chance to leave, “I’m serious. You’re going to love the song.”.

Brian saw Nick in the kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice. Brian joined him, realizing he was thirsty.
“So how did the conversation go?” Nick asked curiously while putting his half-empty glass on the counter.
He always loved prying with the conversations of others. Brian didn’t mind it though, since the conversation wasn’t a big deal to him.
“It went out fine.” Brian replied while taking a sip of his orange juice.
“What did you guys do?”
“We just did some editing with one of the songs.” Brian said briefly not willing to relay in detail the conversation they had.
Fortunately, Nick didn’t consider the conversation interesting and decided to talk about something else.
“So have any of the other boys dropped by yet?” Nick asked referring to the Backstreet Boys.
“Kevin dropped by a few weeks ago, but other than that, none.” Brian replied putting his empty glass on the sink.
He thought intently about a dream he had the night before. He remembered seeing himself crying and crying and everyone turning their back on him, walking away. The dream evoked reality in him. He thought briefly about what happened a few months ago and he wondered if a worser nightmare would follow.
“Brian, are you okay?” Nick asked him putting down his glass in alarm.
“I’m okay.” Brian managed to say while he felt his breath constricting. He held the sink for support but felt himself grow weaker and weaker. Before he managed to fall, he was supported by Nick. The last he heard was Nick shouting for Billy to call an ambulance…

“Call the ambulance.” Nick shouted at Billy as he supported Brian.
He dragged Brian to the couch while Billy called 911. Nick sat beside him, and waited nervously for the ambulance to arrive.
“The ambulance is coming.” Billy told Nick.
“Do you know where Leighanne is?” Nick asked him.
“I think she must be with Baylee in a doctor’s appointment.”
“I’m calling her.” Nick replied as he brought out his cellphone.
“Hello?” Leighanne’s voice rang out.
“Hello, this is Nick.” Nick said to her.
“Oh, hi Nick, is there something wrong?” Leighanne asked Nick.
She knew that Nick would be dropping by to their place and she was worried that something would have happened to Brian, since Nick was the one who was calling instead of Brian himself.
“Yes, Brian just passed out.” Nick told her.
“Brian passed out? Where? When?” Leighanne asked him worriedly.
“We were drinking orange juice in your kitchen when he suddenly passed out.” Nick explained to her.
“Where are you now?”
“We’re here in your house. Wait, I got to go. The ambulance is here.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.” Nick replied before hanging up.
He opened the door to let the paramedics enter. They put Brian in a stretcher, and they brought him to the ambulance, which was waiting outside.
“Can I go with him?” Nick asked one of the paramedics before they brought him in.
“No, sorry.” the paramedic replied.
“Ok.” Nick said quietly.
He had a mix of worry, fear and alarm, and he didn’t know how to react in this kind of situation. He talked quietly to Billy and they rode in his car going to the hospital.

Brian woke up in a hospital bed. He felt weak and frail, compared to a hour before when he was feeling great. He could hardly see the people who were gathered around him.
“How’s his condition?” he heard Nick’s voice ask.
“He’s suffering from a high fever, but we are unable to detect the cause of it, at the moment.” he heard an unfamiliar voice reply to his question.
"Will he be okay?” he heard Leighanne’s torn voice ask.
“He’ll be okay.” Kevin replied.
His vision then started to clear and he could see Nick, Leighanne, Kevin, and a doctor looking down at him.
“Hi Brian.” Nick greeted him nervously.
They were all nervous to learn about the cause of Brian’s high fever, fearing it might be caused by something greater than the fever itself.
“Where are the others?” Brian asked weakly, but the only words that were heard were ‘Where’ and ‘others’.
“Howie, AJ, and Billy are waiting outside.” Kevin replied to his question.
At that moment, Howie and AJ opened the door to the room and Kevin conversed with them quietly.
“Brian has a high fever. They still don’t know the cause of it yet.” Kevin told them.
AJ and Howie nodded sympathetically and approached his bedside.
“Hey, how you doing?” AJ asked Brian trying to cheer up his mood.
“I’m fine.” Brian struggled to reply as he felt his temperature increase and sweat build up all over his body.
Then a nurse entered the room and approached the doctor who was in charge of Brian. They talked briefly and the nurse showed a document to the doctor. The doctor nodded and the nurse left. Brian could tell by the look in the doctor’s eyes that he wasn’t going to like what he’s going to hear.
“Brian, you’ve been diagnosed with leukemia.” the doctor told him seriously.
Everyone was shocked and worried. Leighanne could not hold the tears no longer. Brain could feel his body become weaker by the sound of it.

Brian sat up finally after his rather turbulent nightmare. He could feel sweat on his back and neck, but no fever. He looked around him. He was in a hospital room with the lights out, and Nick was sleeping beside him in another bed. He didn’t bother to wake him up so instead lay down again on his bed attempting to drift off. He thought momentarily about the dream he had and what it really meant before he was able to sleep off the troubling thoughts of his head.

Next morning, Brian found himself in Nick’s car heading back to his house. The hospital released him that morning, with a prescription of some stress pills. Brian was burdened by the thought of his stress going to the extent of taking pills. He remembered the conversation he had with his doctor.
“We believed that the reason for your passing our is emotional. Were you thinking about anything before you passed out?”
“Yes, actually I was.” Brian recalled replying to him, “I was thinking about a dream that I dreamt the night before last night.”
“What was the dream about?”
Then he remembered telling the whole dream to him.
“As far as I’m concerned, I recommend that you take stress pills. Hopefully, you would be able to get back to normal by then.”
“So how did the conversation go?” Nick asked Brian, breaking the many thoughts that were clouding his mind.
“The doctor said that I only need to take those stress pills.” Brian replied showing him the pills which were in a plastic bag.
“He didn’t say that something’s physically wrong with you?”
“Nope.” Brian said idly.
They remained silent the rest of the time going back to Brian’s house. Brian watched the passing scenery thoughtfully. His mind then drifted to the dream he had the night before. The dream scared him, and he was relieved that it wasn’t true.
He suddenly remembered, a few months ago, when one of the worst nightmares he couldn’t imagine would happen, happened in his life. He felt the feelings of stress, harassment, and nervousness that he hadn’t felt in a long time come back to him like a tidal wave crashing to the shore. He felt tears build in his eyes and he searched frantically for a tissue box in the glove compartment. Realizing he could no longer keep the tears from flowing, he made an effort to hide the tears rolling down his cheeks. He sobbed quietly and he felt a comforting pat on his back. Nick knew that Brian was going through a tough time with the events that were happening and he wanted to make an effort this time to encourage him and hold him up all the way through. There was just something that Nick didn’t know that Brian had hidden in the innermost part of his heart…

Leighanne looked up from the book she was reading when Brian entered the room. She noticed that Brian was nervously biting his nails, a habit that he only revealed when he was very nervous and when he was in the presence of someone close to him, such as her.
“What’s wrong, Brian?” Leighanne asked her husband concernedly as she put her book down.
“Nothing’s wrong.” he replied nonchalantly as he put himself under the bed sheet covers.
“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Leighanne looked patiently at him, willing to give the encouragement that Brian would need, “Is there something that you’re not telling me?”.
“I was just thinking about a dream I had last night.”.
“Tell me what the dream was about.”.
“Okay, I dreamt that I was in a hospital bed. Nick, Kevin, you, and a doctor were surrounding me m my bed and I heard the doctor tell you that I had a high fever.” Brian hesitated, briefly looking at Leighanne with his blue eyes, wondering if he should continue.
“Yes, go on…”.
“Then Howie and AJ entered the room. After them a nurse came and gave a document to the doctor…” he felt his resistance grow thinner.
“Go on.”.
“Then the doctor told me I had…” Brian tried to say.
“You had what?” Leighanne asked.
“Leukemia.” he felt his heart break.
He grabbed a tissue from the tissue box beside him and cried. He knew it wasn’t the Leukemia that made him cry. He knew that it was the overwhelming painful feeling in his heart that made him cry. It was just so indescribable he didn’t know how to explain it to her…
“It’s okay, Brian.” Leighanne told him as she hugged him, trying to comfort him the best way she could.
“I just can’t describe it, Leigh.” Brian replied over the tears that were pouring down his face.

Brian stood, the next morning, beside the kitchen counter. He looked wearily at the kitchen clock, revealing the time. It was 6’ o clock in the morning and he felt tired after his almost sleepless night. He brought out the stress pills that were given out by the doctor and drank it accompanied by a glass of water. He felt the pills run down his throat as he thought thoughtfully. He began to wonder if there was something wrong with him.
“Daddy, what time is it?” he heard a small voice ask him.
“It’s early, Baylee, why are you awake?” Brian asked him, carrying him.
“The sun woke me up.” Baylee pointed at the patio doors revealing the bright ray of sunshine which was coming in the room.
“Okay.” Brian replied sleepily.
He felt very tired and there was still that provoking and uneasy feeling in him.
He remembered going to a therapist so he would be able to deal with his emotions a lot easier.
“Whenever you find yourself in a happy situation, enjoy it. Don’t ever go back to the part or think about the future. Tomorrow can come and go, but today can be different.” he remembered the therapist telling him.
But at that present moment, Brian struggled to believe those words. He currently felt that he was falling in a deep abyss with no bottom…
The ringing of the phone momentarily interrupted his troubling thoughts.
“Hello?” Brian spoke rather groggily into the phone.
“Hello, did I wake you up, Brian?” he heard Dan Muckala’s voice on the other line.
“No.” Brian replied to his question.
“I just wanted to make a change on the time we’re suppose to meet today.”.
“There’s recording today?” Brian thought tiredly.
He had completely forgotten about recording after the recent events that happened to him.
“So what time are we meeting?” Brian asked Dan finally.
“Let’s say, 9’o clock this morning?”
“That’s even worser than the time we suggested on.” Brian thought to himself but told Dan, “Sure, there’s no problem about the time.”.
“So I’ll see you then, okay?”.
“yeah.”.
“Bye.”.
“Bye.”.
Brian hang up thankfully but nervously. He didn’t know how he would be able to record when he had so much thoughts on his head. But he knew that recording was in his priority list and he knew that it would be useless to cancel it, since it’s most likely for his emotions to be present still on that day. He knew the best thing he could do was confront his emotions face to face with reality.

“Hi, Brian.” Dan Muckala greeted him as he entered the recording studio.
“Hi.” Brian greeted him briefly as he sat on the cushion in front of Dan.
He felt a little disappointed since he didn’t have the boys to joke around with. All he had was Dan and the lyrics.
“So what are we recording today?” Brian looked at him questioningly.
“Um… Welcome Home, and My Answer Is You.” Dan smiled.
Brian sighed. He knew that the day won’t pass by that quickly with two songs and two vocals to record for each song.

One hour later, he found himself encased in glass, wearing headphones and a microphone in front of him. Dan Muckala gave the thumbs-up sign and he heard the starting chords of the song being played. He listened as the strumming of the guitar harmonized with the keys of the organ. Then he heard the bass and the beat of the drums, which added to the relaxed but firm momentum of the song. In total, the music expressed itself as a sun setting in a calm sea,… as peace. He knew that the lyrics of the song will have more impact than it’s music. Though Brian was aware of this, he didn’t think he was ready to bring out the lyrics from his mouth. But he knew he had to do what he could. Life didn’t revolve in a calm sea always.

“There’s a world of difference when faith is in a heart
It stands out like sunlight
Life becomes so dark

And when those around me ask me why I dare to dream
Or why I love, or why I sing…

My Answer Is You
My Answer Is You
You’re the hope that my heart is holding on to
Skeptics won’t understand it’s strange from the world’s point of view…
My Answer Is you…

He opened his eyes after singing, a successful act as it seemed, until he looked at the empty booth.
Brian’s mind raised, he felt sweat build up in his neck as he removed his headphones.
“Where the heck is Dan?” Brian wondered as he came out of the recording booth.
He finally spotted him talking to Leighanne in the room.
As he approached them, he saw that they had serious expressions on their faces.
“What could go wrong?” Brian thought to himself as he walked towards them.
“What happened?” Brian asked them.
“Nick was sent to the hospital. He had a car accident yesterday.” Leighanne replied somberly, “He’s been unconscious ever since…”.
Before she was even able to finish what she was saying, Brian interrupted her and said, “We need to see him right away.”.
“That’s what I was about to say.” Leighanne replied, clearly annoyed, but concerned.
Brian shrugged, and approached the door. Leighanne followed behind.
Just as he was about to leave the room, he remembered Dan.
“Dan, are you coming with us?” Brian asked him hurriedly.
“No thanks, I got some finishing up to do.” Dan replied.

As Leighanne entered Brian’s car, Brian started the ignition and sped off the parking lot.
“Where do we go now?” Brian asked Leighanne as he maneuvered expertly through the traffic.
“St. Phils Hospital.” Leighanne replied quietly.
A sense of familiarity came to Brian’s mind as he heard the name. He though, didn’t want to ponder further on why the name was so familiar to him, and instead focused in driving. Both of them were quiet, each having their own thoughts about Nick. Both hoped fervently that Nick was going to be okay.

Brian turned on the radio to pass the time. Immediately he heard a song being played, a song that he had heard before from a movie. He heard the starting strums of the guitar and the melody that it gave.

“If I could change the currents of our lives
to make the river flow where it’s run dry
to be a prodigal of father’s time
then I would see you tonight

If I could find the years that went away
destroying all the cruelty of fate
I must believe that love could find a way tonight”

Brian gripped the steering wheel as he listened to the rest of the song.

“Lonely finds me
one day you’ll never come
But I’ll wait for love’s sake
one day to me, love…”

Leighanne reached out and touched Brian’s arm lightly, pointing to him the entrance to the hospital’s underground parking lot. Apparently, Brian had been concentrating too hard on the song that he almost missed the entrance… Brian turned sharply, nearly missing the entrance by inches.
“What the heck?” Leighanne screamed at him as he turned sharply.
Brian didn’t hear her, his mind occupied with worry, fear, and nervousness.

“Then hope would make these promises come true
beyond what I could say that love can do
With every moment leading to you tonight…”

Brian suddenly felt a pain in his cheek, which receded quickly. He turned to Leighanne beside him, and demanded an explanation for the slapping. Leighanne merely looked coldly at him, her eyes boring into his nervous gaze. Brian dosed the engine, and immediately, the song that he so- wanted to finish disappeared. He went out of the car, followed by Leighanne, and they slowly approached the elevator.

Brian looked at his surroundings as they slowly went up to the 5th floor. Brian knew all too well that this was the very elevator that he was in when he went to the ICU to visit Baylee…
Brian pushed the troubling thoughts of his mind, and instead, focused on Nick.
What exactly happened to Nick? Was he drunk in a night of slumber, or did he veer into a red light in broad daylight?
Brian shook his head, visibly in a state of confusion. He wondered if the accident was caused by plain foolishness, or by something deeper that cannot be penetrated by on looking eyes.
At that moment, the elevator door opened to the 5th floor. Brian and Leighanne disembarked and went on to find room 572.
“Nick Carter – Doctor G. Scott” was labeled on the door to the room.
When Brian entered the room, he was surprised to see Howie, AJ, and Kevin already there, with Baylee in Kevin’s arms.
Brian finally noticed that Nick was pale and his eyes were closed. His head and legs had bandages on them, where beneath them lay deep wounds which were stitched. He also had a cast on his left arm. There was a tube running from his wrist to the dextrose which lay above him.
Dr. Scott, who apparently didn’t notice the arrivals, was filling out a form. Everyone looked sober; even the usually jolly Baylee was quiet.
Brian looked intently at Nick, a member of the Backstreet Boys, and at the same time, a victim of a car accident. What imminent thoughts could possibly grip his mind?
Dr. Scott, who was finally finished filling out the form turned around and faced them, flopping his white coat as he did.
“He has a severe gash in his head, a broken arm, and a deep wound in his leg. I advise that he stay here in the hospital until he gets those stitches removed.” he told them.
“I don’t see that he’s fit enough to be released, anyway.” AJ replied.
“What happened?” Brian asked them quickly.
Though he knew all too well what happened, he needed to know the details to the accident.
“Check this out.” Howie handed him the days, Entertainment section of USA Today.
Typed in bold and capital letters, the words peered at him coldly and mercilessly:
BSB BOY CAUGHT IN CAR ACCIDENT

“Oh my gosh.” Aaron Carter gasped as he switched the channel to CNN. He watched with his mouth gaped as the broadcaster made the hour’s E-news special.
“Nick Carter, known as one of the members of the Backstreet Boys was caught in a car accident yesterday afternoon in Atlanta, Georgia…”.
The scene was switched from the CNN news room to a catching scene in the busy roads of Atlanta. Nick was pulled from the wreckage of his car into a stretcher by the paramedics, and into a waiting ambulance…
“Leslie, Angel, you gotta check this out.” Aaron called for them.
Leslie approached Aaron first, and she wondered impatiently what her little brother would want from her.
“What do you want?” Leslie asked him with her arms folded who was visibly annoyed.
“Look at this.” Aaron replied hurriedly as he got caught up with the broadcast.
“Sweet mother of…” Leslie gasped.
“Na, ah, ah, no swearing, Leslie.” Angel said who stuck a finger at her.
Leslie ignored her, focusing instead on the broadcast.
She realized then that everyone was quiet, and she finally got caught up with the broadcast.
The scene was switched to that of the lobby of the St. Phils Hospital. AJ, Howie, Kevin, Baylee, and Leighanne were there, in the middle of the chaos of news reporters, photographers, and cameramen.
The reporter was currently interviewing Kevin.
“So what is Nick’s condition?” the reporter raised his first question.
The group merely ignored them, walking away towards the elevator.
“Where’s Brian?” the reporter noticed, counting; only three of the Backstreet Boys present.
“He’s upstairs with Nick, for your information.” Leighanne retorted at them, in her controlled rage; which she should have never done.
This reply raised a vast amount f questions coming from the on looking media reporters.
They continued walking towards the elevator, ignoring the flashes of cameras and the yells of the reporters. The media people though, were following them, taking pictures for magazines, and newspapers, and asking questions to give content to the articles and news broadcasts that they would be making.
Finally, doctors and nurses who saw the difficulty that they were having to go to the elevator helped them by blocking the path of the paparazzi.
The owner of the hospital, who was present at that time and witnessed the event spoke to the several media people that were assembled there.
“According to the rules of this hospital, we do not support ‘media on-goers’ beyond the lobby. We believe that the patients in this hospital should maintain their privacy. I’m sorry, but you are not allowed beyond this point.”.
Everyone became quiet at that very moment. The flashes of cameras stopped and the yells ceased.
AJ mouthed a thanks to the owner as he pressed the button to close the doors to the elevator.
“My pleasure.” the owner mouthed them before the elevator descended.
The crowd of paparazzi suddenly dispersed, leaving the owner, the doctors, and nurses behind, whom eventually went back to what they were doing.

Brian watched patiently as the screen above Nick’s bed revealed the ups and downs of his heart beat. He looked at his TIMEX watch. 12:30pm. He should be having lunch in any minute. He just needed to wait for the nurse or some other person to come by to replace his shift.
The phone rang by Nick’s bedside. Brian picked it up, thinking it was an urgent call from Leighanne.
“Hello?” Brian shouted to the mouthpiece sharply.
“Whoa, it’s just me, Aaron.”
Brian sighed disappointedly inwardly. He had wished it was Leighanne who was calling.
“Hi Aaron, what’s up?” Brian asked him, his tone more relaxed than a few seconds ago.
“Brian, I’m just wondering if Nick’s awake.” Aaron said to him cautiously into the phone not knowing what to expect.
“Nope. He’s not awake. Do you want anything from him? Do you want me to pass on a message to him?”.
“Uhm… Just tell him I might be passing by in a few days, okay? Bye, I gotta go.” Aaron hung up before Brian could even say ‘bye’ to him.
“Bye.” Brian whispered to himself as he laid the telephone back to it’s cradle.
The room became quiet again, a sound so loud to his ears that he couldn’t stand it any longer.
What were the thoughts in his mind that made him panic because of the blanket of speechlessness which was present at that very moment? Was it the uneasiness in the atmosphere, or was it something deep down in his heart that he couldn’t deal with… couldn’t face.
He looked at his watch again, in nervousness. It was 1:10, he had been waiting for 40 minutes already.
The nurse was expected to visit the room at 1:30om, and while she would do the 2-hour daily check-up, he would be able to have time to grab a sandwich on two in the hospital’s cafeteria downstairs and return to the room. But could he wait that long?
He drifted his gaze nervously to the clock which hung on the wall across Nick’s bed. The minute hand was located between 2 and 3 which indicated that it was nearly 1:15.
He bit his nails nervously. He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and he could feel his stomach growling for something to eat.
He looked frantically for snacks in one of the closets. Fortunately, he found a bag of Cheetos. It could do for the moment. He thanked Kevin silently for being considerate enough to bring snacks.
He opened the bag, brought a chip out, and bit into it as he felt the flavor of cheese mix with his saliva. It was a fantastic taste after not eating for many hours.

Brian woke up suddenly from the couch chair he was sitting on. An empty bag of chips was on his lap, but aside from that, everything was where it was suppose to be.
The dextrose was still hanging above Nick. Nick was still sleeping, his body sprawled on the bed. The telephone was still sitting on top of it’s table. The telephone. He had to use the telephone, but he couldn’t gather why a call was so important to him at that very moment. Without thinking twice, he found himself punching the telephone number of the recording studio in Atlanta.
“Tree Sound Studios, what can I do for you?” he heard a familiar female voice answer.
“Hi, may I speak to Dan Muckala?”
“Brian Littrell? Is that you? Certainly, I’ll link you right away to him.”.
He heard background music play. His call was being linked.
“Please wait a moment longer while the connections is being made.”
The background music returned. Brian waited patiently to hear Dan’s voice in the phone.
At last, after a few minutes which seemed like several, he heard Dan’s voice speak from the mouthpiece.
“Hi Brian.” Dan greeted him breathlessly through the phone.
“Hi Dan, I’m just wondering when we’re having our next recording session.” .
“Um.. okay, let me check my calendar for a minute.”.
A silence then filled the few seconds while Dan rummaged through his desk for his organizer.
“How about this Friday?” Brian asked him attempting to fill the abyss silence between them.
“This Friday?” Dan’s finger went through all the sessions he would be having on that day.
“Yes, this Friday.” Dan confirmed it, writing it down on his organizer.
“How about the same time we met today… 9am?” Brian asked him.
“Okay, that time’s fine.” Dan replied on the other line.
“Okay, thanks anyway.”
“Yeah, bye.”
“Bye.” Brian hung up the phone.
He looked at his watch in hunger. 3:30pm.
“Wow, time flies.” Brian thought as he sat back on his chair.
His stomach rumbled inside of him for something to eat, something edible to eat.
A doctor went in, holding a clip board close to her. Brian didn’t notice her as she came in.
“Good afternoon.” the doctor greeted him while checking the dextrose of Nick.
“Oh, hi, good morning… I mean, good afternoon.” Brian stood up and shook her hand, “I’m Brian.”.
“I apparently know who you are already.” she smiled brightly at him, “I was a fan of the Backstreet boys and I’m still a fan now.”.
Brian noticed that she was pretty young. She looked like she was in her mid-twenties. Her blond hair was tied in a neat ponytail, and her delicate hands were tapping her pen nervously on the clip board.
“I thought Dr. Scott is suppose to be here.” Brian changed the subject.
He didn’t want to intimidate her by asking that question, and she knew that.
“I’m an assistant, he’s out for today. I’m Jessica by the way, but you can call me Jess.” Jess smiled at him.
“Hi, uh, Jess.” Brian replied, “Since how old were you a fan?”.
“Since I was 9 years old.”.
“So who is … or was your favorite Backstreet boy?” Brian asked curiously.
Her face grew red. She put a stray strand of blond hair behind her ears.
“You.”.
“Wow, really.” Brian whispered quietly, “So how old are you now?”.
“I’m 26.” Jess replied.
“You’re the same age as Nick.” Brian replied looking at Nick.
“Yeah, I know, our birthday’s are three days apart.”.
“Which is?”.
“January 25.”.
“Wow.”.
Jess merely smiled at him, grinning as she went back to the work she was doing.
“So how is Nick’s condition?” Brian asked after an awkward silence.
“He still needs to stay and take the medications that he is taking now,” Jess said then faced him, her hazel eyes glistening with worry, “but he’s not waking up.”.
“He’s not waking up? What do you mean ‘he’s not waking up’?” Brian asked worriedly.
“He’s suppose to be conscious by now.”.
“You think he has a concussion?”.
“Possibly. He’s decreased pulse rate and blood pressure indicate the symptoms. He’s sweating too.”.
Brian’s mind was filled with worry and fear.
“What really happened and why did it have to happen?” he thought, searching for an answer which he needed most desperately.
He clasped his hands together, unable to control the imminent tears that were waiting to fall down his cheeks.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” a person from American Airways answered the phone pleasantly, the ordinary routine for her.
“Hello, is there a flight from Orlando, Florida to Atlanta, Georgia tomorrow morning?” Aaron Carter asked her through the phone.
“Let me see.” the attendant replied while looking through her files.
“There is an 11am flight scheduled to leave for Atlanta tomorrow.” she answered after a few minutes, “May I have your name?”.
“Aaron Carter.” he replied after jotting down some notes, “I’ll be passing by there in an hour, okay? I’ll talk it over, over there.”.
“Yes, sir.” she replied, apparently aware who he was.
“Bye.” Aaron hung up the phone impatiently.
“Who did you talk to, Aaron?” Bobbie Jean appeared on the doorway of his cluttered room.
“An America Airways lady, why?”.
“What the heck are you doing, Aaron?” BJ approached him, her hand raised in rage.
“Haven’t you heard of what happened to Nick, I mean in the news or something?”.
“No, why?” BJ lowered her hand, sitting down on a swivel chair beside his desk.
“Leslie and Angel didn’t tell you? My gosh…”.
“Just tell me what happened!”
“Okay, okay. Nick had a car accident.” Aaron replied somberly.
“Really? Oh my…” BJ stared aimlessly at a picture of Nick and Aaron hanging on the wall by the bed of Aaron. They had their arms linked to the other, and they both had big smirks on their faces.
“I’m visiting her tomorrow morning.” Aaron told her putting an arm around his eldest sister, aware that she was about to cry.
“Can I come with you?” BJ looked at Aaron, tears glistening in her eyes.
“Sure, I’m not preventing you from anything.” Aaron looked at his watch in alarm.
“BJ, we gotta go to the American Airways office to buy some tickets. Do you have your credit card?” Aaron asked her.
“Yes.” BJ sniffed while rummaging through her small hand bag, “Yeah it’s here..”.
“Good, let’s go.” Aaron grabbed his car keys and walked briskly to the garage.
Just as he was about to open the door to the garage, BJ stopped him, laying a hand on his shoulder firmly.
“How about Leslie and Angel?” she asked.
“Just write a note, BJ, come on.” Aaron told her impatiently.
BJ hurriedly grabbed a post-it and a pen from the table and wrote a quick note to Leslie and Angel. She stuck it in the fridge so they could easily view it.
“Come on, BJ, you gotta hurry up!”.
“I’m coming.” BJ replied as she ran to the garage.

Brian watched the clock slowly as the minutes ticked by and Nick wasn’t waking up. Jess was out and attending to another patient. He looked at the tissue box and the many crumpled tissues which were beside it. He gathered the tissues in his hands and threw them in a nearby trashcan.
He put his hands on his head in exasperation. He was frustrated and at the same time, worried. He missed the company of his family already but he didn’t want to leave Nick alone.
In boredom, he brought out the lyrics to the songs he would be recording that Friday. He read them quietly over and over again until he could memorize them by heart..

“I lived a lot of life
I caught a dream or two
It’s been a sweet ride…” the lyrics of ‘I’m alive’ spun in his head.

Brian eased back on his chair and for a moment went back ten to thirteen years ago when he was having the time of his life. He remembered touring nonstop with the Backstreet Boys, known at that time as one of the most popular pop groups ever alive, being adored by millions of fans from around the world.

“But I’ve faced my share of nights
Searched like we all do
Looking inside.”.

His thoughts then drifted to the time when AJ was admitted to rehab while they were touring for their album, Black and Blue. He remembered the time when he had an open-heart surgery due to an enlarged heart which was caused by the stress in touring and a hole in his heart. He recalled the feelings of nervousness and pain that overcame him at that time. He remembered searching deep inside his heart where God wanted to lead him, and he recalled having that feeling brought about by Him that he should record his own solo album. He remembered getting a record deal with Reunion Records and he saw how God was moving powerfully through him by opening up opportunities for him.
He silently said a prayer of thanks as he thought about the next line.

“Now I’m standing here
Cause You’ve made it clear…”.


“… to go to the hospital.” Aaron heard BJ tell him.
“Are you even listening, Aaron?” BJ shook her hand in front of his face.
“Uhm, what did you say again?” Aaron asked her innocently.
“Okay,” BJ sighed, “So who told you to go to the hospital?”.
“Oh, so she was asking a question.” Aaron thought to himself as he drove through the traffic.
“Who?” BJ asked again, annoyed.
“Me.” Aaron replied, “Don’t you care for your own brother?”.
“I do, it’s just…”.
“He had a car accident for crying out loud!” Aaron tried to control the temper in his voice, “Can’t you understand that?”.
“It’s just, how was the accident caused? Was he bumped by a speeding truck, or was he drunk when he drove through a red light?” BJ looked at him, “I’m just thinking that he’s vulnerable to all of this especially that time when he was caught over speeding while he was drunk…”,
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Aaron interrupted her, “But I’m guessing that the cause of the accident wasn’t because of him being drunk. I have this feeling that he was depressed about someone.”.

Brian found himself awake in the middle of the night. He felt chilly, despite the blanket that was draped around him, and he felt cold sweat trickle from his back. He shivered uncontrollably as he thought about the dream he had that night.
“I’ve been having a lot of nightmares nowadays.” Brian thought to himself as he struggled to find the lamp switch.
He wondered if it was just a dream, or a premonition.
Light drifted from the lamp shade as Brian went to the small refrigerator for a bottle of water. He felt more relaxed as the cool, refreshing liquid entered his body.
Brian could see the vivid images of his dream.
He remembered seeing Nick touch his hair uncomfortably as they entered the car. He saw Nick frantically look for his keys. He could see the worry and fear visible in Nick’s eyes. He watched as he turned the ignition, hands trembling. He gripped the wheel insecurely.
He observed quietly as Nick drove out of the parking lot, his eyes drifting nervously to the intersection in front of them.
Suddenly, he remembered the tears in his eyes. He remembered hitting his head when they braked suddenly. He remembered Nick waking him up, while trying to hold the steering wheel at the same time. He recalled the car swerving roughly to the right, falling violently in a deep ditch.
Then everything was darkness until he woke up.
Tears began to roll down his face, but he did nothing to prevent from crying. The full realization hit him: he could have been with Nick in that accident.

“What matters is that you and Nick are still alive.” Leighanne lightly touched Brian’s brown-blond hair between her fingers. She felt the cool touch and refreshing smell of his hair.
Brian had told her everything about the dream he had. He felt very exhausted from his sleepless night, but he was replenished by the truth in the words of Leighanne.
They were both sitting on his bed beside each other.
Brian lay his head lightly on Leighanne’s shoulder as he felt the tears slowly go down his face. “Shh… no…” Leighanne replied while she dried each tear with her fingers, like a mother comforting her child. She didn’t want to see him suffer like this.
She brought his face close to hers.
Brian looked into Leighanne’s comforting brown eyes with his own deep blue sparkling eyes. He moved closer to her, calmed by her gaze.
He felt love flow through them as his lips touched hers in a passionate kiss.

Brian woke up near the edge of his single bed. He realized later that Leighanne was beside him, sleeping. He was surprised by the fact that they both could fit on a single bed.
Brian quietly stood from the bed and hunted for his slippers. Leighanne stirred in her slumber, but did not wake up.
Brian finally found his slippers and approached Nick’s bedside. He looked at the wall clock across Nick’s bed. It was 1:30pm. He was surprised on how time flew fast.
Brian looked at Nick one last time before going to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Nick had lost a lot of weight from the drugs and medicines that were applied to him.
Finally, after a few minutes, Brian approached the room’s door wistfully and closed it quietly behind him.

After ordering a ham and cheese sandwich, Brian took his wrapped sandwich and made his way back to Nick’s room.
The elevator door opened on the first floor; the floor where the cafeteria was located; and Brian entered the elevator carrying his sandwich. He pressed the button to the 5th floor self-consciously and waited patiently as the elevator ascended.
Brian looked up from his pointless gaze as the elevator opened to the 3rd floor. Immediately, Brian recognized the dark-haired man who entered the elevator.
“Dr. Scott,” Brian clapped a hand on his shoulder, “you’re back.”.
“Oh, hi Brian.” Dr. Scott smiled at him, “I’m on my way to Nick now.”.
Dr. Scott pointed to the clipboard he was holding using his pen, “Dr. Burnham told me that Nick is in a coma.”.
“Yes.” Brian suddenly started to feel the burden building up in his heart again.
“We fear a blood clot in Nick’s brain, which could result in a heart attack if not treated right away.” Dr. Scott told him.
“How can it be possible?” Brian asked worriedly.
“If a person is comatose for an extended period of time not resulting from anesthesia, we believe that there is not enough nutrients being transported to the part of the brain which controls his consciousness…”.
“Which could explain he being comatose?” Brian interrupted.
“Yes, and most likely a blood clot would be the cause of that.”.
The elevator door opened on the 5th floor and Brian and Dr. Scott continued their conversation as they walked towards Nick’s room.
“So, is Jess your assistant?” Brian asked him.
“Dr. Burnham? Yes, she takes over whenever I’m out. She must’ve told you her first name first.” Dr. Scott chuckled as he opened the door to Nick’s room.
A startling sight met their eyes.
Leighanne was beside Nick’s bed, and she was talking excitedly to him.
Brian ran to his bedside with a big grin on his face, “You’re awake, how are you, Nick?”.
“I’m… fine.” Nick forced a weak smile as he tried to move to a more comfortable position on the bed.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Scott asked him, ready to write what he would say on the clipboard.
“I feel really dizzy, and my legs and arms really hurt.”.
“Does your chest hurt when breathing?” Dr. Scott asked, ready to record his observations.
“Yes,” Nick replied frailly, “and I have a really hard time talking.”.
“Okay.” Dr. Scott replied as he wrote his observations down, “I’m going to have to test on how much you know.”.
“Okay.” Nick turned his gaze to him expectantly.
“What is your name?” Dr. Scott asked patiently.
“Nickolas Gene Carter, of course.” Nick replied effortlessly without thinking.
“What is your occupation?”.
“I was… I am a singer.”.
“How old are you?”.
“26.”.
“When is your birthday?”.
“January… uhm… 28.”.
“What year were you born in?”.
“Uhm…”.
Everyone was in silence, waiting expectantly for Nick to respond.
“198… something.” he finally answered uncertainly.
“1980.” Dr. Scott smiled at him, knowing it would be harder for him to answer the next few questions.
“Where were you going before the accident?”.
Nick furrowed his brow while he thought. He tried to recall the events that happened before the accident, but nothing came up in his blank head.
“I don’t know.” Nick finally replied helplessly.
Brian looked sympathetically at him. He knew that amnesia is the second to the worst thing that could happen to anyone.
“Okay,” Dr. Scott wrote on his clipboard, “What was the last thing you can remember you did before the accident?”.
“Uhm,” Nick felt sweat build up in his neck as he tried to recall what he did before the accident.
Then suddenly, it came back to him.
Brian passing out, then being brought by the paramedics to the hospital. Then he remembered the time Brian cried after being released from the hospital. He recalled Leighanne calling him and telling him about the dream that Brian had. He remembered being disturbed by the dream, knowing that Brian was acting strangely lately. He recalled deciding to drive to Brian’s place to cheer him up, when inside he was distressed by what Brian might be going through.
He remembered driving his car, as he thought deeply about Brian. He was driving too fast, but he apparently didn’t notice it because of his depression. Then he saw a child crossing the road right in front of him. He saw his frantic mother who was trying to run after him. He swerved a sharp left, knowing that only seconds could make a difference to both their lives.
After that, he felt an ear-splitting crash as his car sped beyond the steel railing, and crashed on a light post…. Nick couldn’t take it and he tried to pull the thoughts away from his mind as he felt tears build up in his eyes.

Brian looked on patiently for Nick to answer the question directed by Dr. Scott.
“Nick?” Dr. Scott asked him again.
Nick sobbed in response.
Brian, who knew that this was certainly not a time to interview Nick; approached Dr. Scott and whispered something in his ear, making sure that Nick wouldn’t hear what he was saying.
“I’ll leave it off for now.” Dr. Scott smiled at Nick, knowing he was not in a good state to be questioned.
“Meanwhile, just have a lot of rest.”.
“It’s been good having you, doctor.” Brian smiled appreciatively at him as Dr. Scott turned to leave.
“Thank you.” Dr. Scott responded, looking at him before he closed the door silently.

Brian touched Nick’s hand encouragingly, knowing that Nick was going through something difficult.
“I just can’t describe it, Brian.” Nick told him in between sobs.
Brian suddenly felt guilty. He had said those very words to Leighanne a few days ago, but Brian could not fall down on his knees now. He knew that he had to help his little brother get up and stand on his feet.
A great silence shadowed them which was occasionally disturbed by Nick’s sobbing.
“It’s okay, Nick.” Brian told him quietly as he patted his back comfortingly, “Everything’s going to be alright.”.
Brian could see his vision blur as his eyes filled with tears.
“It seems aimless to encourage someone who has the same discouraging thoughts as yours.” Brian thought to himself as he grabbed desperately for a tissue box.

Brian found himself nine hours later lying on their comfy king-sized bed in their house.
He turned his back to his shining lamp and faced Leighanne who was sleeping beside him.
He touched her cheek affectionately as he observed her silently.
“Sleeping like an angel… like a peaceful angel.” he thought as he went back to the book he was reading subconsciously for the past 4 hours.
Brian checked his alarm clock to view the time. 1:30am. He groaned inwardly. He couldn’t seem to be getting enough sleep for the past few days despite his exhaustion. He had been thinking too much about the dreams he had been having and about Nick’s problems. He had been too nervous to sleep, fearing that he would face the continuation to his seemingly endless nightmares.
“Well, I just have to find out how this whole nightmare ends.” Brian thought helplessly as he put the book he was reading back on top of his side table and closed his lamp, leaving the room in total darkness except for the night light shining beside the window.
Brian struggled to fight his insomnia until exhaustion finally overtook him. He found himself in a blissful world of slumber awhile later.

Brian checked his reflection again in the bathroom mirror.
His slightly unkempt hair looked good on him. It looked like those hair styles the hairdresser would practically struggle to give him on a really bad hair day. Somehow, Brian had a good hair day the moment he woke up that morning.
“Maybe a little gel would do.” Brian thought as he grabbed a bottle of men’s hair gel from the counter.
He squeezed a small amount of gel on his palm and applied them smoothly to his hair using his fingers.
Perfect.
Brian smiled satisfactorily at his own reflection.
The deep blue color in his eyes complemented the weather outside. It was sunny and the sky was clear except for a few obscuring clouds.
Brian cautiously opened the door to the bedroom making sure not to wake up Leighanne. It was 7am and the recording session was still at 9, but Brian was leaving early to visit Nick.
Brian grabbed his jacket, though he was 70% sure he wouldn’t be needing it. He had to make sure he didn’t get caught in a sudden downpour. The weather could be unpredictable sometimes.
“Mmm… Brian, where are you going?” Leighanne asked him rolling from her side.
“I’ve got to visit Nick.” Brian responded briefly as he gripped the door knob uncertainly, and finally opened the door.
“See you later.”
“Wait,” Leighanne called out, now wide awake from her sleep.
“Isn’t it too early to visit Nick?” she asked him questioningly.
“I’ve got a recording session with Dan Muckala at 9am. I wouldn’t want to miss it.”
“Okay, see you later.” Leighanne told him before going back to sleep.
Brian closed the door silently behind him.
He decided to visit Baylee before leaving.
Baylee was still asleep and he was clutching his favorite teddy bear.
Brian kissed Baylee’s cheek affectionately before he left the room.

Brian listened intently as Dr. Scott spoke somberly to him.
“Nick had a temperature of 98.6 °F last night and his temperature rose by 11 degrees.”
“11 degrees?” Brian exclaimed in disbelief.
“His temperature now is 110 °F and there’s a possibility it would increase before the day ends.”.
“Is it influenza?” Brian asked thoughtfully.
“We thought it was influenza before but… “ Dr. Scott replied, then looked directly at Brian’s eyes.
Brian felt a cold chill run down his spine as he saw the doctor’s wary gaze.
“Doctor?”
“I’m scheduling an x-ray for Nick tomorrow.” Dr. Scott responded as he clipped his papers to his clipboard and approached the door to leave.
“What does he have?” Brian asked incredulously.
Dr. Scott stared at him for awhile, then finally answered, “I suspect he has tuberculosis.”.
“Tuberculosis? How can it…” but before Brian could finish what he was saying, he was caught in mid- sentence by the slam of the door.

Brian picked at his Caesar salad as he thought about Nick. He had been thinking about him for the past few hours, and had not been able to concentrate on recording. Dan thought that he did pretty well though, when a look inside would reveal that Brian was actually singing aimlessly and his mind was drifting in another world.
“What’s up, Brian?”.
Brian turned around violently on his chair to look at the person who said that to him.
“Whoa, it’s just me, AJ, cool down, man.” AJ told him in a surrender gesture.
Brian relaxed at the sight of AJ. He had been thinking too deeply that his mind started to blur.
“You scared the wits out of me.” Brian grinned at AJ humorously.
“Hey, Brian.” a feminine voice greeted him.
“Hey, Kaci.” Brian looked at her in surprise as she sat on the chair next to AJ.
“So what brings you to the heart of Atlanta?” Brian asked them as he relaxed on his chair and started eating his salad in proportional bites.
“No, the real question is: what brings you in a very luxurious and sophisticated restaurant such as this?” AJ pointed a toothpick at him, “You got a date with someone or something?”.
Brian gave him a sour look, annoyed by his remark, “Very funny, AJ, but no. I don’t need a date because I already have a beautiful wife and a wonderful son. I’m not even meeting anyone here, for your information.”.
“I thought you were a simple guy who loves simple food.” Kaci commented.
“Well, I guess I don’t feel like eating in McDonalds right now.” Brian replied nervously, forcing himself to smile.
AJ recognized the maneuver and decided to get to the point.
“Is there something concerning Nick that I don’t know?” he asked Brian, waiting for his reaction.
“I’ll go to the washroom, if you don’t mind.” Kaci suddenly got up from her seat and looked at both of them, knowing that they needed privacy.
“Sure, no problem.” AJ replied.
Brian tried to keep his cool and looked directly at AJ’s eyes, “Depending on how much you know.”.
“The last think I’ve heard about him was that he had a car accident and was unconscious.” AJ replied returning Brian’s intent glare with a blank gaze, “That’s all I know.”.
Brian sighed, breaking the intimate gaze between them.
“He’s awake.” he finally replied.
“Oh, that’s supposed to be good news.” AJ replied while scanning a poster given to him by a sales lady.
“But…”
AJ finally looked up at him from his poster and waited for him to say what he had to say.
“Dr. Scott thinks he has tuberculosis, so he’s scheduling an x-ray for tomorrow.” Brian finished, waiting intently for AJ’s response.
“It’s just a presumption, it doesn’t mean its true…”.
“Yes, it’s just a presumption,” Brian interrupted him, “but I think it’s something more than a presumption.

Brian sorted through the numerous papers that were piled high on top of his desk. Brian Littrell’s Healthy Heart Club For Kids had sponsored a reality short story contest for all the club’s participants. They had written their saddest experience and had submitted them. Now, Brian only needed to read and pick the three best stories.
After a moment’s thought, Brian finally turned his attention to the pile of papers. He looked at a paper with scrawled cursive and tried to decipher the words written in it.
After finishing the story, he picked another paper and began reading the story scrawled on it.

“Brian, the Anderson’s are here!” his mind was immediately awakened by Leighanne’s voice.
He was in his 25th story, and none of the stories he had read seemed interesting.
“What?” Brian asked Leighanne, who was clearly in a mass of confusion.
“Aren’t you going to get dressed in something more formal?” Leighanne hissed quietly at him, surveying his white t-shirt and khaki shorts.
“Yes,” Brian replied, “I’ve completely forgotten about the dinner with them.”.
“Then hurry.” Leighanne winked at him, “I’ll try to stall for time.”.
“Okay, thanks Leigh, you’re the best.” Brian told her as he ran quietly to their room.
After a while on debating what he should wear, he finally decided on black slacks and a white collared shirt, accompanied by a tie and a tux.
Brian looked at himself in the mirror and flattened some creases found in his collared shirt.
He smiled at himself in the mirror. He looked like he was going to an awards show for the Backstreet Boys. His outfit was simple yet still fit for the occasion.
After a while of admiring his appearance, he finally went down to meet the guests.
“Hey Brian!” a familiar voice greeted him.
“Hey Tom!” Brian shook his hand in greeting.
“I’m hungry.” Baylee complained in Leighanne’s arms.
“Okay, honey, will get something to eat soon.” Leighanne whispered in Baylee’s ear.
“Well, he’s right, I’m starving too.” Tom laughed heartily.
“Let’s go then.” Brian replied grabbing the car keys from the pocket of his slacks.

Brian tried to push his thoughts about Nick away from his mind as they entered the restaurant. Now, he wanted to enjoy the evening with one of his closest friends.
Tom, who was a very close friend of Brian when they were junior high, had supported Brian when he had first joined the Backstreet Boys.
“My wife and my son are seated over there.” Tom pointed to a wide and spacious booth near the end of the room.
“Okay.” Brian responded as they walked quietly to the booth.
“Hi Tom!”.
“Hi, sweetheart!” Tom kissed his wife’s cheek, caressing her in his arms.
It seemed like they haven’t seen each other for days.
Finally, Tom released himself from their tight embrace and introduced Brian to his wife.
“Brian, this is my wife, Jane. Jane, this is Brian Littrell.”.
“How you doing, Brian?” Jane cast a surprised look at him as they both shook hands.
“Fine.” Brian smiled at her.
“Tom told me we would be meeting an ‘old friend of his’ but apparently, I didn’t expect it to be one of the Backstreet Boys, I was a big fan of you guys.” Jane continued talking excitedly.
“Why, thank you.” Brian grinned appreciatively, “We were best buddies before.”.
“By the way, this is my wife, Leighanne, and my son, Baylee.” he introduced them to Jane.
“This is my 10 year old son, Allen.” Jane put an arm around Allen, her dark-haired son.
“Hi.” Allen smiled at them, revealing his colorful braces.
“Hello, All…en.” Baylee waved at him from his mother’s embrace.
All of them burst into unexpected laughter.
“Okay, have a seat.” Tom finally assured them to their seats after getting over the laughing spell.

“So what are you doing Brian?” Jane asked him out of curiosity after the waitress had gotten their order, “What are your future plans in the music industry?”.
“I’m recording for a solo album.” he responded briefly as he took a sip of diet coke from his glass.
“Oh really?’ she continued to banter, “When is it going to be released?” Brian furrowed his brow as he tried to think of the best answer to her question.
“Around April or May.” he finally told her.
“I hope your schedule is not too cramped.” Tom joined in their conversation.
“Why?” Brian turned to look at him.
“We want to invite you and your family to Allen’s recital.” Jane told him, cutting of Tom.
They turned to look at Allen, whose face was becoming red with embarrassment.
“Oh, what instrument does he play?” Leighanne queried.
“The violin.” Jane replied proudly.
“When and where is the concert?” Brian asked both Tom and Jane, looking at them expectantly.
Tom cleared his throat before speaking, “The recital is going to be held in the Philip Wakes United School next Monday at 7:30pm.”.
“You can expect us to come.” Brian told them as the waitress served their food.
“How is Nick?” Jane asked Brian as she picked on her Seafood Marinara.
Brian nearly choked on his Carbonara at the mention of Nick.
Leighanne patted his back as he continued coughing.
“I’m sorry if this is not a good time to discuss the matter…” Jane apologized nervously as Brian’s face turned pale.
“No, it’s okay.” Brian replied, giving her a forced smile.
“Nick had a car accident….” Leighanne began.
“We heard about it in the news report.” Tom interrupted her, “How is Nick’s condition?”.
“He’s conscious now.” Leighanne explained.
Suddenly, Brian felt something vibrate in his pocket.
“I got a call.” Brian told the others as he stood up from the table and went outside.
He looked to see who was calling. Dr. Scott.
“Hi, Dr. Scott.” Brian greeted him weakly, fearing he was about to hear bad news.
“Hi, Brian.” Dr. Scott’s voice was tired and frantic, “Nick has been diagnosed with tuberculosis.”.
It hit Brian like a bullet and for awhile, he was too stunned to say anything.
“Brian?” Dr. Scott broke the chaotic thoughts that were clouding his mind.
“I’m going there.” Brian replied determinedly.
He could hear persistent coughing in the background. He knew that Nick would need him most at that very moment.

“Something came up with Nick.” Brian looked apologetically at them as he turned to leave.
“How the heck are we suppose to go home, Brian?” Leighanne asked him which caused Brian to look at her once more.
“We could drop you off in your house.” Tom told her calmly.
Seeing that the issue was solved, Brian walked briskly to his car as he felt the tears slowly fall down his cheeks.

Brian waited impatiently as the elevator began its slow journey to the 5th floor. He was caught in a traffic jam and he had to wait for 20 minutes before the cars in front of him began to move in a snail-like pace.
He looked at his watch in haste as he waited for some people to exit the elevator. The elevator was nearly empty, considering it was 9:45pm, a time when visitors wouldn’t usually come.
“But this is different.” Brian convinced himself as the elevator began ascending.
Brian sighed in relief as the elevator door finally opened on the 5th floor. His apprehension increased as he ran down the hall to Nick’s room. He surged through a crowd of night shift nurses as he went his way to room 572.
Finally, in a state of desperation, he saw his room.
He would have burst through the door if a young male nurse didn’t open it for him.
“What can I do for you?’ he asked patiently, surprised to see a visitor come at this almost unmanly hour.
“Is Nick inside?” Brian asked anxiously, though he knew all too well that this was his room.
He was surprised that he heard no coughing and no physical struggling of some sort inside.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know who you’re looking for.” the male nurse replied, a trace of sympathy in his voice.
“Nick Carter, he is… or he used to be in this room.” Brian grew more desperate; he would have kicked the door open but decided against it.
The nurse’s eyes lighted up at the mention of Nick Carter. Apparently, he knew who he was, but the response he gave did not do much to locate his whereabouts.
“I just came in 9:30 and there was no Nick Carter registered in this room at that time. I’m sorry.” he told him guiltily before closing the door on his face.
He realized his mistake as he read the name posted on the door. Karl Stevenson. This was not Nick’s room anymore…

Brian strode determinedly to a nurse who was sitting in the reception. He walked to the booth and stared at her silently, unsure of what to say.
“What can I do for you?” the nurse finally noticed that Brian was staring at her.
“Erm…” Brian fidgeted uncomfortably, “Do you know where Nick… Nick Carter’s room is located?”.
“Nick Carter…” her voice trailed off as she looked for his name in her notebook.
“There,” she sighed in satisfaction when she saw his name, “He was transferred a few hours ago from room 572 to the ICU.” she finished, looking at him once more.
“What floor is it?” Brian wanted to shake her in panic.
“3rd floor.” she answered as Brian muttered a ‘thank you’ to her and walked briskly to the elevator.
“Wait a minute,” she protested loudly, “the ICU’s not open to visitors at this…”. but Brian cut her off as the elevator door closed.
He barely heard what she said because of the growing panic inside him…

Brian almost shouted at the blond nurse as he repeated the same question he had been asking her for almost five minutes now.
“Can I see Nick Carter?” he didn’t matter if people were staring at him from afar, he just wanted to see Nick.
“I told you already, sir. Visitor hours are only from 9am to 11am and from 2pm to …” she was interrupted by Brian’s hysterical shouting.
“Fuck you, I need to see him now.” Brian rarely sweared, but he could barely think in his panicky state.
The nurse looked incredously at him, visibly offended by his swearing, “It’s part of our policy, sir…”.
“Fuck you!” Brian answered back, his face distorted in rage.
“Dave, take care of this guy.” she finally turned to a male nurse who was beside her.
Brian thought that he fit the title of ‘heavy weight champion’ than a nurse.
Before he knew it, Brian found himself being pushed roughly out of the ICU to the waiting area.
“I’ll take care of him.” he heard a familiar voice tell the male nurse.
“Yeah, alright.” Dave replied huskily as he shoved Brian one last time and opened the doors of the ICU which Brian struggled to enter.
“Oh, by the way, bitch.” Dave turned to Brian with a menacing glance, “You’re a visitor, right? So come only when the visitors do, and please, don’t swear to nurses, or they’ll swear back to you.” he laughed at his own comment as he went inside.
Brian turned to look at the person behind him.
“Hi, Kevin.” Brian was surprised to see him there.
Brian suddenly felt guilty. He regretted swearing to the nurse and all the foolish things he’d done in the past hour.
“What the heck were you doing there, Brian?” Kevin grasped his shoulders with his hands and looked at him with determined eyes.
Brian avoided his gaze though. He felt like a child who didn’t know the difference between right and wrong.
“Let’s go, Brian. You’ve had a rough day.” Kevin put an arm around him and led him to the elevator.
“Have you seen Nick?” Brian looked at him pleadingly.
“What about Nick?” Kevin gave him a puzzled look, “Isn’t he supposed to be downstairs?”.
Brian realized that Dr. Scott hadn’t relayed the information to him yet.
“Nick was diagnosed with tuberculosis. They transferred him to the ICU a few hours ago.” Brian told him somberly.
Kevin stared at him for awhile. Obviously, this was information too hard to digest in 30 seconds.
Finally, Kevin spoke in a barely audible voice, “Who told you?”.
“Dr. Scott, his doctor.” Brian answered as he felt tears build up in his eyes.
They stood there for a few minutes, each thinking about their own thoughts for awhile.
“Let’s go.” Kevin almost literally chocked out the words as they both approached the elevator.

“So what brings you here in this unmanly hour?” Brian asked Kevin trying to regain his happy nature.
“Oh…” Kevin was suddenly awakened from his thoughts, “My mother-in-law was hospitalized yesterday.” he gave him a wan smile.
“I was on my way to follow Kristin to her mother’s room when I spotted you talking to the nurse in the reception. I saw you walk hurriedly to the elevator so I wasn’t able to catch up to you. I talked to the nurse and she told me you were going to the ICU. She also told me that it is closed to visitors now so I decided to follow you.” Kevin explained his story.
“Where is Kristin now?” Brian asked him questioningly.
“She must be still in my mother-in-law’s room since she didn’t call my yet.” Kevin laughed, finally regaining his good humor.
They stood quietly beside each other as the elevator descended.
Finally, Brian looked at him, his eyes glistening with tears.
“I’ve just had a rough week.” he finally confessed as he sobbed.
“Nick’s going to be okay.” Kevin assured him as he held Brian tightly.
The elevator door finally opened on the parking lot floor.
“Thanks Kevin.” Brian managed to tell him as he exited the doors and approached his car.
“Bye.” Kevin shouted at him before the elevator doors closed.

Brian was weary when he finally reached home. It was 11pm, and he was surprised to find Leighanne still awake.
“What happened with Nick?” her lips were drawn in a serious line.
“Nick was diagnosed with tuberculosis and he was transferred to the ICU.” Brian relayed the details to her.
Leighanne stared at him in shock, her lips opening and closing, but no words coming out. She was too stunned to speak as Brian went into the dressing room to change.
After a few minutes, Brian came out of the dressing room wearing boxers and a t-shirt he bought as a souvenir from the Philippines when he was on tour there the last time.
He joined Leighanne and cuddled under the comforter as he tried to shape mentally in his mind the events that happened in the past week.
“I guess this has been the most frustrating week in my life.” Brian told Leighanne, but it seemed that he was talking more to his feelings.
Even while touring, he had never felt as stressed and as desperate as this.
“I know you’ve been having a hard time, hun.” Leighanne told him sitting up in her side of the bed and pulling out pictures from a drawer in her side table.
“I even see it in the pictures we took this past week, and even last week.” Leighanne told him while showing him pictures they took.
Brian looked at a picture of him and Nick taken last week, before the car accident even took place. They were playing billiards with Nick sporting a weird but funny pose while Brian was just standing there, leaning on the pool table with a quiver in his already frail smile.
He looked away impulsively, feeling ashamed of himself.
He had no right to be that way, he had no right to be depressed, but he could not hide that foreboding and lonely feeling inside him.
He looked at the next picture, a picture of him with Leighanne and Baylee. Baylee was in Leighanne’s arms, and they both smiled happily at the camera man, while he was looking down, a terrible picture, indeed.
He tried to ignore the urge to cry, but it didn’t matter anymore, he had been hiding his feelings for too long.
Even Leighanne had realized that he, Brian, was not himself anymore. She had realized that Brian’s usually happy and jovial attitude was replaced by a serious, sad, and grim-looking behavior, which was reinforced by the feelings that emerged after he learned about Nick’s accident.
Brian returned the pictures to her as he felt a stray tear go down his face.
Brian gave Leighanne a weak smile as she patted his back soothingly.
She took his hand in hers and squeezed it.
Brian finally broke the silence and told her, “We’re still a family, right? So as long as we’re still a family, we could conquer anything together.” he squeezed her hand back.
“Yeah.” Leighanne kissed his cheek and finally lay down again on her side of the bed.
“I’m sleeping now. It’s actually late, you know.” Leighanne looked at him one more time before turning off her lamp.
“Yeah.” Brian shifted his position in the bed and turned off his light.
He lay there in silence before he was drifted to sleep.

It was 10am and Brian was in the ICU of St. Phils Hospital to visit Nick.
“What room is Nick Carter on?” he enquired at a nurse sitting in the reception.
Fortunately, the nurse who was in-charge for that hour wasn’t the same blond nurse he’d seen the night before.
“Nick Carter is in room 2a.” she replied while pointing to a slightly ajar door near the ICU’s reception.
“Thanks.” Brian thanked her as he turned to walk where she was pointing.

He entered room 2a to find Nick chatting pleasantly with his brother, Aaron and his sister, Bobbie Jean. He saw that the coming of his siblings lightened up his mood.
“Hey Brian.” Nick greeted him with a big smirk on his face.
“Hey Nick, how you doing?” Brian asked as BJ and Aaron stepped aside to give way to him.
“Fine and awful at the same time.” Nick gave him a timid smile.
“Say, Brian, what’s up with the other boys?” Aaron turned to face him.
“They’re doing fine.” Brian replied tightly as he felt his breathing constrict.
Brian wanted to talk to Nick alone, but he couldn’t do it with Aaron and BJ listening to their conversation.
As if on cue, BJ laid a comforting hand on Nick’s right hand – the hand with a tube from the dextrose running through it.
“We gotta go, Nick, but we promise we’re going to visit you again.” BJ told him sweetly.
“You better.” Nick pointed his index finger at them as they turned to leave.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Brian decided to ask Nick the question that had been pondering in his mind for so long.
“Have any of the other boys passed by?” Brian asked Nick as he searched for an answer.
“AJ passed by yesterday, but aside from him, none.”
Brian then decided to get to the point.
“I’m gonna be gone for a few days this week.” he told Nick uncertainly, not knowing what his reaction will be.
“Why?” Nick’s eyes reflected his confusion.
“To record, silly.” Brian ruffled his hair as Nick managed to give a light punch in his stomach.
“Ouch.” Brian exaggerated as he staggered backwards and laughed at the same time.
Nick laughed at Brian’s humorous act.
The laughter quickly subsided as fast as it started.
Both of them became silent as each of them thought about what to say to the other.
Finally, Nick decided to express his feelings to Brian, “I was so… so scared when they told me I had tuberculosis.” he looked up at Brian, his eyes stinging from the tears he cried, “with my condition now, I thought…. I… I won’t make it.”
Nick burst into tears at his statement.
Brian patted his hand, knowing he was going through a hard time.
“Don’t worry.” Brian comforted, even the sound of his voice made Nick smile a little in his morose state.
“I went through a situation similar to yours when I had my open heart surgery. Remember?” Brian smiled encouragingly.
Nick shifted his position uncomfortable. He suddenly felt guilty as he remembered listening to Leighanne’s story.
“Brian was in a good mood while we talked, but when the gurney came to take him down to the surgery room, he burst into tears.”
“Yeah, I remember.” Nick muttered as a tear fell down his cheek.
He hadn’t visited Brain while he was confined in the hospital before and after the surgery and seeing him visit him everyday made him even guiltier.
He was reluctant at first but finally decided to share this thought with Brian.
“That’s all of the past, Nick, there’s nothing to apologize about.” Brian told him after his confession, “We always care about you and we’re always here for you, even when we don’t visit you regularly.”
Nick’s tears stopped flowing at what he said, he already knew it in his mind but he felt it was more of a confirmation.
“Before the surgery came, I planted this thought in my heart: that even when you guys didn’t visit me, you still cared for me.” Nick smiled at this statement.
He didn’t need to have the positive assurance of the doctors that he would get better. All he needed was his band mates’ reassurance that they cared about him, and that was all for now.
Nick hugged Brian tightly as tears of hope glistened in his eyes.

Brian held Baylee in his arms as he searched for a place to sit. Leighanne was in the restroom and was going to follow afterwards.
The theatre was filled with people and the noise was deafening --- this reminded him of touring with the Backstreet Boys. He would look out to the crowd and see some posters raised up that said, “I love you Brian” or something similar to that. He would hear some people shout his name from the crowd. He grinned at the thought.
“Now I’m going to be one of them.” he joked to himself as he spotted Tom and Jane waving at him from their seats.
It had been a long time since he’d been an audience to someone or a group of people.
“Hey, how you doing?” Tom gave him a quick hug as he pointed to the three empty seats beside him and Jane, “These are for you.”
“Thanks.” Brian replied as he sat Baylee down on his chair and sat on his own chair.
After a few minutes, Leighanne came and sat beside Baylee.
“Five more minutes till the presentation starts.”
Baylee squealed in delight as the lights dimmed.
Tom and Jane looked at Baylee in amusement.
“Cool down, Baylee.” Leighanne joked.
Baylee however hadn’t heard what she said and looked intently at the stage.
Jane laughed pleasantly, “Allen used to do that when he was a small kid.”
Brian turned his attention expectantly to the stage as a small boy carrying a saxophone went on stage.
Blaring saxophone music drifted to his ears.
“I guess I’m going to have a long night.” Brian thought to himself as he tried to fight the drowsiness that was slowly overtaking him.

Screams could be heard as an explosion sounded from outside. Brian turned to look out his window at what caused the commotion. An electrical wire had fallen unto their front yard and a fire had burst. The fire was rapidly approaching their house.
Brian rose from his chair in panic and ran to their bedroom to rouse Leighanne. Leighanne was already awake from the noise and they both went to Baylee’s room and carried him.
When safely outside, Brian finally realized that he left something.
Shouts to stop were drowned as Brian entered the now-burning house.
He searched frantically until he finally found what he was looking for.
He looked for a place to escape but unconsciousness started overtaking him.
Suddenly, rubble from the ceiling fell down and pinned him to the ground…

Brian opened his eyes and was greeted by a violin playing. He relaxed his muscles, but his breathing was still labored.
He saw Allen performing on stage and he decided to enjoy the show.
Despite the extraordinary gift that Allen had, the music could not penetrate his more chaotic thoughts.
He hardly noticed it when Allen bowed and left the stage, followed by thunderous clapping.
His attention was diverted when he heard a flute being played. Or what sounded like a flute being played.
Brian turned to look at who was on stage.
A young girl with straight brunette hair was playing an instrument that looked like a flute, but somehow he knew it wasn’t a flute.
“Mommy,” Baylee asked Leighanne as she looked expectantly at him, “What is that girl playing?”
“She’s playing the fife, dear.” Leighanne answered him pleasantly.
He hardly listened as Baylee continued to ask Leighanne questions to which she answered patiently.
He somehow recognized the young girl playing the fife but he could not recall where or when he saw her.
The music she played inspired the inner depths of his soul, but he did not know why.
The music somehow had an invisible hold over him, a hold that prevented him from going to harm’s way.
Sadly, her piece finished and he watched disappointedly as she bowed to the audience, holding the tip of her pink skirt as she did.
A deafening applause followed and the lights were turned on, showing that the recital had ended.
“Allen played so great.” Leighanne remarked as she carried Baylee in her arms.
“Yeah.” Brain answered, but he couldn’t help feel very blessed because of that little brunette girl.

Brian hugged Leighanne and kissed Baylee as he heard his flight being called.
“Have a good flight.” Leighanne smiled at him, a radiance that filled him with compassion.
“Have a good day.” Brian pecked Leighanne’s cheek before approaching the gate.
He wished Nick would have been there before his flight but he knew it wasn’t possible with his present condition. He had visited him the night before and had told him that he’d be out for a couple of nights.
“Bring some recordings with you.” Brian remember Nick tell him as he left.
He smiled at the woman who tore his ticket as part of procedure.
He was wearing a baseball cap turned backwards on hi head, a t-shirt that said, “We were born to be angels”, jeans that had a slight tater on the right knee – a part of fashion, and a pair of sneakers.
He didn’t take the time to dress comfortably since he knew he wouldn’t have a long flight going to Tennessee, where he would be recording yet for his solo album.

When Brian was settled in his first class seat, he looked up to see a teenage boy struggling to put his over-sized duffel bag inside the cabin.
“Excuse me, sir,” the female attendant protested when she saw the difficulty he was having, “but I think your bag needs to be checked in.”
The teenage boy ignored her and persisted to struggle with his bag.
“Excuse me, sir!” the female attendant raised her voice bringing attention to them.
“Okay, okay.” the teenager finally faced her, his eyes burning, “I’ll just get something inside.”
He placed his duffel bag on the seat beside Brian while he rummaged through his bag and pulled out a sheet of paper.
Brian wondered why a sheet of paper was that important to him. He then concluded that it was probably a project he had to do and just put it off till the last minute.
“Procrastination.” Brian thought as he fixed his eyes on the seat in front of him.
There were a couple of tour magazines and the airline’s ‘guidelines’ which he had probably read a million times.
His attention then went back to the teenage boy who had already given his duffel bag to the lady.
He watched as he sat morosely on the seat beside him clutching the sheet of paper in his hand.
Brian surveyed him carefully. He had jet black hair with blond highlights that stood up from his head. He was wearing faded jeans and a black t-shirt with crossbones on the front. He had a tattoo of a snake that ran from his neck to his left hand.
Definitely not Brian’s type, but it reminded him of AJ when he went to rehab.
He decided to start a conversation with him.
“Hey, what’s up?” Brian asked him trying to put on his friendliest voice.
He ignored him and merely looked into empty space.
Brian sighed inwardly to himself.
He would have a hard time getting through even one sentence from him.
“I’m Brian.” he introduced himself, taking off his baseball cap as he did.
“I’m Nick.” the teenager told Brian, still not making eye contact with him.
“At least he said something.” Brian thought to himself.
Brian was taken aback by his name, but then again, a lot of people are called Nick.
Brian was thinking whether he should venture into his singing career when Nick finally spoke up.
“My life has been awful lately.” Brian noticed his voice was chocked with emotion.
“It’s okay, man.” Brian replied, hoping that it would boost up his self-esteem, “Tell me what happened.”
Nick looked at Brian, his eyes welling with tears.
“I don’t even know you. How could I trust a stranger?” Nick seemed to be saying his thoughts out loud.
“Just trust me. I’ve gone through a lot these past days too.” Brian told him compassionately.
After a few minutes, Nick finally confessed his story, “My girlfriend broke up with me, my band mates abandoned me, and my mother died yesterday.”
Nick couldn’t even stand thinking about his circumstances and broke down in tears.
Brian was surprised that he used to be in a band, but he looked back at what happened to him when he joined Howie, AJ, Kevin, and Nick to form the Backstreet Boys in the tender age of 17.
He looked back at the events the week before.
“I know how you feel.” Brian looked at him directly in the eye, “My band mate’s currently in the hospital.”
Brian knew it would compare nothing to Nick’s situation since he also lost his girlfriend and mother.
“You’re in a band?” Nick’s tears were momentarily stopped in relief and shock.
“Yeah.” Brian kept his answer short.
Apparently, this teenager either hadn’t recognized him as ‘Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys’ or he didn’t’ know the Backstreet Boys at all.
Brian didn’t’ want to attract any attention from the passengers aboard the plane.
“So what brings you to Tennessee?” Nick questioned Brian.
“Recording.” Brian kept his response short and decided to take the spotlight away from him.
“So what brings you to Tennessee?” Brian asked him as he noticed a stray tear fall down his cheek.
“I’m going to my mother’s funeral.” Nick answered as he looked at him nervously.
For the next 30 minutes, the 16 year old teenager boy explained that his girl friend cheated on him by dating someone else and broke up with him. She told him that she felt he didn’t value their relationship and cheated on him. In succession, his band mates dumped him since they were good friends with his ex-girl friend. He was in the band in the first place because of his girl friend.
Since the relationship with his girl friend was lost, he didn’t find any point in staying in Atlanta. He would rather be with his sisters in Tennessee.
Brian also described his divorce with Leighanne and their remarriage (refer to Safest Place To Hide) which caused a change in him concerning prioritizing his family.
He also told him about Nick Carter’s car accident and his battle with tuberculosis.
Nick sympathized with him and hoped he’d be okay.
“So what was the name of your ‘former’ band?” Brian hoped he didn’t sound too sarcastic.
“Beat D Punk.” Nick grinned.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, my band mates wanted it to sound unique.”
“Wait a minute,” Nick looked at him suspiciously, “you haven’t told me the name of your band.”
“Oh…” Brian wished he didn’t have to say it but he seemed to have no choice.
“The Backstreet Boys.”
Nick’s eyes darkened at the mention of the name and Brian expected the worst to happen.
“I used to think the Backstreet Boys suck.” Nick struggled to find the right words.
“When I watched a news report on your new album, I thought you guys didn’t deserve to sing again.” Nick’s eyes glimmered guiltily.
Brian felt like he was pierced in the heart by his words. He had never met a critic personally in his life. Most of the people he met were either total fans or people who used to like their music.
“But since I met you, I think I now know the reason why you guys came back. I’m beginning to realize myself why your fans really love you. It’s about who they really are and not whether their oldies or not. I’m so sorry. You helped me a lot and you don’t deserve my criticisms.” Nick was fully crying now.
Brian was inspired by what Nick said and all feelings of pain and anger faded away as he put an arm around him.
“It doesn’t mater, Nick. It’s all of the past.” Brian told him recalling the words he told Nick his band mate in the hospital.
“But I’m glad you’ve been honest to me. A lot of people would have a hard time doing what you just did.” Brian felt like he was a guidance counselor, but he knew Nick needed the guidance more than ever.
“I feel people like you deserve the support they needed.” Nick wiped his eyes with a black bandanna he found in his pocket.
“We are landing in 10 minutes. We advise everyone to stay in their seats and fasten their seatbelts throughout the landing.” the captain’s voice was heard through the speakers.
He then explained the weather in Tennessee, procedures for domestic and international flights, etc.
“Do you have paper?” Nick suddenly asked him.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Brian checked his jean pocked and found a small notebook and a pen.
“Here’s my e-mail address.” Nick wrote down his e-mail address and full name, Nick Pearson.
“You’re Nick Pearson?” Brian asked him.
“Yeah,” Nick responded giving back his notebook and pen, “it’s my mother’s last name. My mom and dad were divorced when I was a kid so my mom was practically almost the only family I had except for my sisters.”
“Wait a minute.” Brian replied as he jotted down his telephone number and e-mail address.
“Here.” Brian tore off the page and gave it to Nick, who accepted it gratefully.
“Just one thing, though.” Brian made sure no one was listening to their conversation and whispered to him, “Don’t show any of these to the media, because if you do, I’ll sue you.” Brian joked.
“I promise I won’t show it to ANYONE.” Nick swore as he put the piece of paper in his pocket.
Brian felt the plane jolt as they landed in Tennessee. He noticed a piece of paper on the floor but decided to pick it up when the plane made a complete stop.
Nick relaxed on his chair as the airplane cruised and finally stopped.
Brian took out his seatbelt and picked up the paper. Seeing that the paper wasn’t his, he showed it to Nick.
“Is this yours?”
“Yeah.” Nick took it from him, folded it, and put the piece of paper in his pocket, “It’s my speech for my mom’s funeral.”
“Okay.” Brian replied as he readied his backpack.

“Bye, man.” Nick hugged Brian tightly as fresh tears found his eyes, “You’ve helped me a lot. I hope we could see each other soon.”
“We will.” Brian broke their hug and looked directly in his swollen eyes, “I’m just a call away, so if you need me…”
“I’ll call you.” Nick finished as he grabbed his oversized duffel bag and suitcase and approached the exit.
“Bye.” Brian waved at him until he was lost in the crowd of people scurrying about.
“I’ll see you soon.” Brian whispered to himself as he walked to a Rent-A-Car office in the airport.

Brian lay on his bed as he flipped through the hotel's TV channels.
As soon as he registered for a car in the rental office, he went straight to the recording studio. It had been a long day, but he felt he had fulfilled something and the burden inside him started to loosen.
He finally turned off the television and decided to confront his thoughts with ease.
He felt successful by the fact that he had helped Nick Pearson confront his present circumstances. He knew deep in his heart that God had a purpose for this encounter and that he would see Nick again.
He brought out the stories that still needed to be read for the Healthy Heart Club Writing Contest. He needed fifty more stories to read and choose from.
After reading several stories for 40 minutes, the phone rang and Brian picked it up lazily, thankful for a distraction from his reading.
"Hello." Brian wondered who was in the other line.
"Hi, Brian. This is David Thomas." Brian relaxed at the sound of his voice.
"I've scheduled a recording tomorrow at 10am. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah, it's fine with me." Brian replied.
He talked with David for ten more minutes before hanging up the phone.
Brian continued to read the stories until he finally found a story that met more than what he expected from a story.
He finally decided to hit the bunk.
He placed the stories on the table beside him as he lay back on his bed, exhausted.
He felt his eyes close heavily as he felt himself drift to another world.

"Mama, mama."
"It's okay, sweet heart, I'm here."
Brian was jolted awake by a little girl crying.
He removed his half-naked body from the bed and tried to see where the sound was coming from. As he moved closer to the door to the adjoining room, he could barely distinguish the sound of sobbing on the other side.
Not bothering to hunt for his slippers or a shirt, he peeked inside before finally opening the door.
A shocking site met his eyes.
He saw a little brunette girl-- the brunette girl who played the fife nights before, but much younger, and possibly her mother-- a young woman wearing a worn-out waitress uniform with her brunette hair tied behind her in a pony tail.
The room was a contrast to the hotel suite where Brian stayed in.
The walls needed a painting badly and the floor was covered with faded yellow tiles.
The curtains that hung loosely above the windows were torn, revealing the the sunlight which contrasted with the mood of the two girls.
The light bulb dangling from the ceiling barely illuminated their sober faces.
The couch they were sitting on was tattered and old, barely able to sustain their weight.
They were both locked in a tight embrace and apparently, haven't noticed the new comer.
"Where's daddy?" he saw the little brunette girl look up to her mother, tears visible in her hazel eyes.
She stroked her daughter's hair lovingly but could barely make eye contact with her innocent eyes.
She finally managed to force a tiny smile between her lips.
"He's coming later, honey." she kissed her nose and laid her head on the couch they were sitting on as a tear fell down her cheek.
Brian wanted to approach them and comfort them as he did with Nick Pearson, but he realized that he was unable to move. He was stuck in the same position he was in before-- between his suite and this small room.
He wanted to go back to his hotel room and forget this ever happened, but a part of him also wanted to raise them from their poverty and misery.
A knock from the door interrupted the thoughts whirling in his mind.
He saw the little girl's mother open the door, where a soldier stood twirling his thumbs nervously.
"Where is he?" he heard her ask the soldier concernedly, "How is he?"
"He's dead." the soldier replied somberly.
At that moment, Brian heard the telephone ring inside his hotel room. He knew the call was important and he had to get back inside.
Both looked up at Brian, suprised that he even existed.
They walked towards him, both casting frowns at him.
Brian suddenly felt he had invaded their privacy and wanted to leave the room.
He walked back to the safety of his room in panic and closed the door behind him.
Suddenly, the door knob felt invisible in his grasp.

Brian was brought back to reality as he sat up in his bed and scratched his head.
He turned to look at the alarm clock beside him. He barely read the numbers 6:00.
He wanted to go back to sleep, but remembering his dream, he suddenly didn't feel like sleeping anymore.
He opened his side lamp and reached for the stories.
He shuffled through them until he finally found the last story he read the night before, Death In Reality by HOney Austin.
Somehow, the name seemed familiar to him.

"He's coming later, Honey." she kissed her nose and laid her head on the couch they were sitting on...

He began to read the story again, feeling the intensity of every word.

My father was a soldier while my mother was a waitress in a local diner...

He remembered seeing her mother weat a waitress's uniform, and the soldier when she answered the door.

My father gave me a fife (a kind of flute) when I was four years old after a trip he made to Nova Scotia. Ever since he gave it to me, I have treasured it very close to my life.

Brian took a deep breath. He knew what to expect in the paragraphs to come.

My father would go abroad to fight for six months then come back to stay with us. After two weeks, my father would be called again abroad. We barely stayed more than two weeks together, so I really valued it when we were together as a family. We only received money from my dad every time he came back so we mostly survived on my mom's salary, which wasn't exactly high.

In the summer of 2002, I remember saying my goodbyes to dad, which would probably be my last, but at that time at the age of 7, I barely knew what was happening and what was about to happen.
I kissed my dad goodblye and in response he whispered to me, "I promise I'll get you the flute you've been waiting for when I get back."
Unfortunately, he never came back.
Four months later, a soldier knocked at our door and told my mom that my father was dead. He explained to my mom that he died in a bomb attack and was found in the car wreck where the bombing took place.
The only thing that remained of him though was his carcass remains which was cremated and scattered in the sea-- which was claimed by the soldier as his 'last wishes'.

I cried, I couldn't eat, and I barely slept that night. It was a nightmare grueling as it can be, but a reality even when I try to convince myself that he's coming back.
I would always stare out the window, hoping I could bypass this and that it was really what I thought it was-- a nightmare. As the days turned to months and the months to years, I finally realized that I wouldn't be able to see his happy face, and hear his laughter again.
He was dead, it was true. Now all that is left with me is the distant memories of the happy times we had and the fife he gave.
I feel now that as I write this, that time cannot undo the devasting loss I had, and that what I hoped for was lost.

Brian wiped his eyes with a tissue. He wanted to make a difference in this girl's life. Somehow, he knew exactly how to do it.

Brian read his book one last time before closing it altogether. The plane was set to land in ten minutes and he was more than glad to get away from this place.
He had tried to converse with the man beside him but he merely grunted in response before going back to whatever he was doing in his laptop.
Brian tightened the grip on his bag as he felt the plane land.
He had missed his family incredibly even when only three days passed by.

Brian tapped his foot impatiently on the hard gravel of the sidewalk. He had been waiting in the airport for twenty minutes and no one had come to pick him up.
He began to wonder if they actually forgot about him when he saw AJ's car whiz by.
"Hey B-rok, how you doin'?" AJ asked him as he grabbed his duffel bag and threw it in the trunk.
"I'm fine." Brian replied as he sat beside the driver seat.
"Sorry for being late, Rok. Hope its fine with you."
"What made you late in the first place?"
"Nick's doctor, Dr. S... something called Leighanne and told her that Nick's going to be released tomorrow." AJ mentioned excitedly like he was going to his first ball game.
"What? I thought Nick had tuberculosis..." Brian's voice drifted in confusion.
"The doc said his condition was not as worse as it seemed. He said Nick had to be admitted to the ICU because of a sudden drop in his blood pressure. With his tuberculosis diagnosis and his previous car accident, he just wanted to make sure he lived." AJ smirked humorously.
"How about his medication? Isn't he supposed to be treated for tuberculosis?" Brian looked questioningly at him, the confusion still lingered in his face.
"Na, that's no big deal. He just needs to take some pills and have a lot of rest."
"So we can't play basketball anymore?" Brian asked AJ, teasing sparkle lighting up beneath his blue eyes.
"I guess so, for the meantime." AJ said to Brian making sure he heard the sarcasm in his voice.
"That's not fair." Brian whined childishly which sent bursts of laughter from the two of them.
The laughter quickly receded as AJ turned to Brian's street.
"See ya soon, Rok." AJ told him as Brian retrieved his duffel bag from him.
"Bye."
Brian watched as he sped off in his car.
He opened the door to his dark house, which didn't surprise him. It was 9'o clock in the evening and Baylee was suppose to be asleep by now.
He prepared a late-night snack of instant noodle soup.
He decided against opening a bag of potato chips even though he knew it would be much quicker that way.
He ate his noodle soup in their dining room, right where he usually ate-- on one of the ends of their rectangular table.
The only lights that were open were that of the kitchen and dining room.
It had been a long time since he'd eaten here with his family. Most of the time, he was either too busy visiting Nick or recording.
He promised he would eat with his family for breakfast tomorrow. He sweared he won't break that promise.
Brian finally washed his dishes and headed upstairs to his room.
He found Leighanne awake, which by now was not unusual since she had always been awake waiting for him whenever he went out the whole day.
"Or for three whole days." he thought passively.
"How was your trip, honey?" Leighanne looked up from the book she was reading as she waited for his response.
"Fine." Brian dropped his duffel bag on the floor and went to the dressing room to change.
Leighanne went back to what she was reading as he changed.
Brian came out of the dressing room sporting the same t-shirt and boxers he wore the night he spilled the news about Nick.
Leighanne was not surprised a bit by this coincidence.

"I'm glad you were able to meet Nick Pearson." Leighanne replied as they both sat on the bed talking to each other.
Brian had told her everything that happened, including the story and the dream.
"What was the name of the story again?" Leighanne asked him pleasantly.
"Death In Reality by Honey Austin, don't you remember?" Brian laughed, amused at his wife's short memory.
"Nope, I was just asking about the title." Leighanne defended herself, "I think I know Honey Austin."
"You do?" Brian would have dropped the papers he was holding if Leighanne hadn't been holding it too.
"Yeah, I met her mother. Nice person. Honey attends the Healthy Heart Club due hypo plastic left heart syndrome at birth. She's going to be playing the fife at the awards show on Saturday night.
Brian winced. He almost forgot about the awards show.
"Is she okay now?" Brian asked.
A baby couldn't live without a little intervention in that case.
"Yeah, she was given a heart transplant a few days after she was born. Her father paid for the surgery."
"I would want to meet her someday." Brian whispered quietly, realization finally hitting him.
She was diagnosed with a heart problem from birth, just like him, and she had lost her father, her indirect lifesaver, in a very brutal way.
"I'm sure you'll be able to meet her."
"I've decided on what story should be chosen."
"What?" Leighanne looked questioningly at him.
"Her story." Brian told her.
"Death In Reality," Leighanne thought about the choice before saying anything more, "Yeah, I think it's a really nice story. Her life's a drama story in itself." she smiled.
Brian nodded even though he didn't have to nod at her.
The story seemed to come from a drama play or a novel, but her life was a novel in itself.
"I'm just wondering... how is Nick?" Brian asked Leighanne.
Although he knew too well what she was going to say, he just needed the reassurance in her voice.
"He's going to be released tomorrow." Leighanne's eyes lighted up at the mention of Nick, "He would be able to go back home, but a nurse would have to be with him every time."
"Can he walk or...?"
"Nick's doctor said he'd have to be in a wheelchair. The severe wound in his leg would make it hard for him to walk, let alone stand. Nick wouldn't be able to live on crutches since he has a broken arm." Leighanne waved her right arm to make it clear to him which arm was affected.
"Is he going to be alright?" Brian thought it was a senseless question to ask since he already knew the answer, but he couldn't help it.
"He's going to be fine." Leighanne looked at him, her eyes full of concern, "Are YOU alright?"
"It's just, it's just..." Brian was at a loss of words.
He knew Nick would be fine but he felt that something bad would happen to either of them.
"Its okay, Brian. I'm here." Leighanne placed her hands under his shirt and rubbed his back.
Brian trembled at the touch of her hands. He felt her fingers run up and down his spine as he shivered in pleasure.
He moved his head closer to hers as their lips brushed in a kiss and it felt like time had stopped at that very moment.

“Hey, how you doing?” Nick smirked at Brian.
“Fine. You look great, Nick.” Brian surveyed him as he sat on his wheelchair.
Brian really meant what he said.
Aside from the cast visible on his right arm, he looked like he had never been in a car accident in the first place.
Brian was there to drive Nick to the Littrell’s home instead of his own. Nick had requested it since he didn’t want to be alone in his house with only a nurse with him. Brian knew it would be hard for him as well as the nurse. He didn’t mind them staying in his house, the company was even better that way.
When Nick was properly sitting on his seat and the red-headed nurse in hers, Brian climbed into the driver’s seat of the wheel-chair accessible van. He decided to rent the van monthly until Nick was able to walk again and get rid of the wheelchair.
He drove, carefully maneuvering through the morning traffic.
“Brian,” Nick began uncomfortably fumbling with his words.
“Yeah,” Brian looked at the rearview mirror which was faced directly at Nick.
“When are we going to be there?” Nick asked.
Brian thought his voice sounded a little frail but he prevented himself from saying anything about it.
“Around ten minutes.” Brian hoped it was enough time for Nick to get himself together.
After sitting quietly for awhile, Nick finally spoke his voice chocked and barely above a whisper, “I wanted to talk about the accident…”
“Not now, at least not while someone’s listening on us.” Brian thought as he glanced at the nurse from the rearview mirror who was sitting beside Nick her arms on her lap.
Her red hair cut short barely reached below her ears. Her green eyes, which were green as emerald’s sparkling, were very cold and distant. She was looking beyond the tinted windows unto the street where cars whizzed past them.
“We can talk about it later.” Brian replied, hoping he would leave the topic there.
Brian watched with the corner of his eye as the nurse stared at him, her gaze cutting through his skull.
He felt sweat build up on his hands and he had the temptation to wipe them off as he waited for the red light to turn green.
As the van resumed its steady-like pace, he saw the nurse divert her gaze to the street outside. She had never said a word in their nearly twenty-minute ride, but Brian merely convinced himself that she was shy.
“Oh yeah, I’m a known celebrity, that’s why and she gets the chance to visit a celebrity’s home and see how it feels like to be one.” Brian thought to himself grinning impulsively.
“Brian, you hiding something from me?” Nick commented noticing the grin appearing on his lips.
“Later, Nick. We’re here.” Brian told him as he pulled into his driveway.
Immediately after Brain extinguished the engine, he helped the nurse get Nick settled on his wheelchair and out of the car.
Brian stirred Nick’s wheelchair into the house while the nurse fumbled with her backpack which contained her extra clothes and Nick’s medication. She was certainly out of place when they entered the Littrell’s large mansion.
“Uncle Nick!” Baylee screamed as he struggled to climb onto Nick’s lap.
“No, Baylee, not now, give Uncle Nick some time to rest.” Baylee sulked exaggeratively and put his arms around his chest while Brian caressed him in his arms giving him the next-time-dear look.
“Um, Mr. Littrell,” Brian turned to look at the red-headed nurse, her backpack on one shoulder while both her hands were gripping Nick’s wheelchair.
“Oh yeah,” Brian laid Baylee on the marble floor and led the both of them to their own respective rooms.
“This is your room, Nick.” Brian pointed to a closed door and opened it revealing a queen-sized bed, a lamp, a TV, a Nintendo Play station, a couch, a coffee table, and a CD player with various CD cases beside it. The walls were plastered with pictures of the Backstreet Boys, now and then.
“Wow, especially for me.” Brian could hear the sarcasm in his voice but he knew Nick really liked the room.
“You have a room and a bathroom to yourself, Nick, so enjoy.” Brian replied to his sarcastic comment.
“Well, it’s not exactly all his though, their mine.” Brian whispered to the nurse when Nick went off on his wheelchair to check out the CD’s Brian had for him.
The nurse laughed nervously at his comment and directed her gaze at Nick who was plucking a CD in the CD player.
“And your room is here.” Brian opened a door connected to her room, “Your rooms are adjoining so you could help him whenever he needs to crap.” Brian grinned; hoping humor could put a smile on her stone-like face.
“Thanks.”
She was in complete shock, Brian noticed.
The canopy bed, the TV with an accompanying DVD player, the designer curtains that hung above the windows, the flat panel monitor accompanied by a CPU, speaker phones, and a laser printer, even the small pictures that complimented her room, made it look like a 5-star suite.
She sat down on the couch in front of her bed and laid her backpack on the floor. She felt the cool fabric between her fingers as she sunk in on the sofa.
She had expected her room to be small and unattractive. She expected it to have a simple twin bed and a lamp, even an old TV, but not this.
Seeing her slight discomfort, Brian asked her, “If you don’t like the room, we can pick another one upstairs…”
“No, it’s okay. The room’s amazing.” she smiled, hoping it would convince Brian that the room was not only amazing but utterly stunning.
“Okay,” Brian smiled appreciatively, “just ask me if you need anything.”
“Yeah,” was the only word she could utter at the moment.
She watched as Brian silently left the room through Nick’s adjoining door.
Calmed by the silence of her room, she removed her shoes and brought her knees to her chest.
She silently sobbed, she didn’t’ deserve this; she didn’t deserve anything that was happening to her.

Brian was greeted by the sound of music as he entered Nick’s room.
Nick was sitting on his wheelchair while swaying his head to “Faraway” by Nickelback.
Brian sat on the couch as he waited patiently for Nick to converse.
Finally, after a few minutes, Nick looked at him, his eyes swollen.
“Do I suck Brian, as a band mate, friend, or person?”
“Of course, you don’t, Nick. Even though you’re the youngest among us five, you’ve made right decisions for yourself.” Brian told him.
“Well most of them anyway.” Brian thought to himself but he didn’t want to focus on the negative qualities of Nick.
What he needed now was encouragement not criticism.
“It was just so stupid of me, so stupid of me.” Nick mumbled to himself in between sobs.
“Tell me what happened, Nick. In the accident, I mean.”
Nick told him everything, from the thoughts he had about Brian, to the phone call from Leighanne, to the supposed surprise visit to Brian which ended up as a car accident.
Brian at first couldn’t speak. He had been too busy thinking about Nick that he had forgotten the very reason why he was depressed in the first place—even before Nick had been caught in that car accident.
The last two weeks have been a blur to him that he barely remembered what exactly made him feel empty and depressed.
He tried to recall the events before Nick’s accident.
Recording with Dan Muckala. The dream about him, having leukemia. He shuddered even at the thought of leukemia. His passing out. The dream about everyone turning their backs on him. Then finally he remembered it.
“Just wait here, Nick. I’m gonna get something upstairs.” Brian told him as he jumped from the couch and ran for his room.

Meanwhile, Leighanne opened the door to what she thought was Nick’s room.
Finding the canopy bed, she decided it wasn’t Nick’s room. He wouldn’t even sleep in a canopy bed unless you drag him.
She was about to close the door when she saw the red-headed nurse.
Her red and tearful eyes looked back at Leighanne seeking encouragement.
She sat cross-legged on the couch beside the nurse.
“My name is Leighanne; I’m the Brian’s wife.” Leighanne held up her hand in greeting.
“I’m Alex.” the nurse shook her hand, partly happy that she could talk to someone.
“So, Alex,” Leighanne familiarized herself with the name, “is there something wrong?”
Alex ran her fingers though her hair uncomfortably and sighed.
“You don’t have to tell me, but I want to help you.” Leighanne replied seeing her uneasiness in discussing the subject.
Her reaction reminded her of her boyfriend. Well, her ex-boyfriend now.
They had first met in a counseling hotline. Her boyfriend was a volunteer and she had called the hotline in need of advice.
“I dumped my boyfriend because I wanted to date another guy.” Alex told her.
“Go on,” Leighanne persisted seeing the look of helplessness in her eyes.
“Allen, the guy who I wanted to date, was a university student studying to be a doctor,” Alex continued, “He’s probably everything you could wish for in a man: handsome, smart, hardworking, athletic, etc.”
“I know this is off-topic,” Leighanne interrupted her, “but why are you working in the hospital? Do you still go to university?”
“I actually just graduated from university as a nurse. I just started working full-time in the hospital last week so it’s pretty hectic.” Alex grinned which transformed her hard and cold face to that of a beautiful, young woman, “I’m broke so I’m trying to raise as much so I can study be a pediatrician. I really love kids.”
“Oh really? Then you’ll love Baylee.”
“Your son?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I guess I’m getting way off-topic now.” Alex laughed.
“Anyway, I really like Allen and one day, he asked me out on a date. I was still hooked up with my boyfriend at that time so I wanted to make our relationship secret from him.
At first it went out well, but then he got suspicious when I kept making excuses why I couldn’t hang out with him.
Then one day, he caught me kissing with Allen in public.
He tried to bring me to talk with him privately but I broke up with him on the spot, in front of everyone else.” Alex began sobbing at this point.
“I told him he didn’t deserve my friends so eventually, when my friends found out that we broke up, they kicked him out of their band.” Alex wiped her eyes with a tissue as she continued her story, “Meanwhile, I was having a great time partying almost every night with Allen.
One day, though, I began to realize that Allen and I were living an unhealthy relationship.
As I became closer to him, I realized that he was totally addicted to drugs.
He would offer me a cigar or a beer and when I would refuse, he would beat me in front of his friends. It was humiliating and I wanted to stop the physical abuse.
One day, in my apartment, he tried to make sex with me, but when I refused, he raped me.
I finally decided the relationship was going no where. I broke up with him at that very moment and he flew into a rage.
He beat me until I bruised and bled. Then he left me.
I reported it to the police and when they saw my wounds and bruises from the severe beatings, they arrested him immediately.
I was relieved but I wanted to apologize to my first ex-boyfriend for breaking up with him in the first place. I knew he hadn’t done anything but be encouraging ever since the first time we’ve met.
When I tried to call his apartment, though, the superintendent told me he left with no forwarding address.
I cried for several nights.
I knew deep in my heart that I’m the reason why I made him leave. I feel like I screwed up his life and I felt bad that I won’t be able to apologize to him.” Alex cried as Leighanne patted her back comfortingly.
“What was the name of your ex-boyfriend?” Leighanne asked her.
The answer she heard stunned her and made her cry joyful tears.
“Nick… Pearson.” Alex replied.

Leighanne hugged Alex as she sobbed a smile lighting up her face.
“Alex, its okay.” she told her soothingly, “I can help you contact him.”
“You can?” Alex released herself from her hug, her eyes glistening with hope.
“Brian met Nick on a plane. He has his new phone number and e-mail. Maybe he could find a way to bring you together…”
“Oh, thank you, thank you! This means so much to me!” Alex hugged her as she was overcome with joy.
“I know.” Leighanne replied knowingly.
“But,” Alex asked, “what if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he doesn’t want to forgive me?”
Her happy moment was momentarily stopped as her insecurities took over.
“We can only hope for the best.” Leighanne replied, “If he doesn’t forgive you, who cares? At least you apologized to him.”
Alex looked at Leighanne, her green emerald eyes full of determination.
“I’ll tell him that I’m sorry for all the stuff I’ve let him go through, that I love him, and that I miss him so much.” she said.
“That’s the spirit, girl.” Leighanne said to her encouragingly.
“That the truth so he deserves to know it.” Alex replied near tears, “I just hope he accepts my apology because I’m really, really sorry for all the things I let him go through.”
“I know he will, I know he will.” Leighanne told her soothingly as she hugged her while she cried.

Brian rummaged through his file cabinet until he finally found what he was looking for.
His hands trembled as he pulled out the folder labeled “Articles 220”.
He didn’t dare look at the contents of the folder knowing what they were about or whom they were about.
He immediately went to Nick’s room carrying the folder alongside him.
“What is it, Brian?” Nick questioned him concernedly as he entered the room.
He noticed the folder Brian clutched in his hand and he knew it had something to do with the questions which were still unanswered in his head.
Brian sat down on the couch and looked through the folder until he found a magazine clipping.
He showed the clipping to Nick.
He ruffled his hair nervously as Nick read the article grimly.
Nick furrowed his brow as he read the magazine clipping.
The article was dated nearly a month ago.

Will Backstreet Boy Be Kicked Out Of Group Permanently?

Rumors have been said that Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell would be kicked out of the Backstreet Boys by his four band mates: Kevin Richardson, Howie Dorough, AJ Mclean, and Nick Carter due to his lack of commitment and dedication to the group.
A woman who alleged she saw all four of them talking said they were planning to ditch him for being too self-occupied.
“They met in an expensive restaurant in downtown LA;” she recalled the encounter, “Brian wasn’t with them and they were telling horrible things about him. I couldn’t resist not listening to their conversation since I was a big fan of Backstreet Boys, especially Brian.”
“So what are some of the things they said to each other about Brian?”
“They’re too horrible, if Brian reads this article, he’s going to be really shocked. I don’t want to put the burden on him.”
Even with this conversation out in the open, the Backstreet Boys have neither confirmed nor denied these reports.

Nick didn’t need anymore confirmations. He knew Brian’s point.
“Are… are they true?” Brian asked.
Nick looked at Brian who was in the verge of tears.
Nick felt tears build up in his own eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Brian, very sorry.” he whispered hoarsely.
Brian burst into tears and cried his heart out.
Even a million tears wouldn’t compare to the weight of his words.

Chapter 21

Brian blinked his eyes in disbelief after he listened to Nick’s long tale.
“Nick, I… I just don’t know what to say.” Brian told him.
His eyes stung and seeing Nick in his wheelchair made him even guiltier.
“I… I’m so sorry.” Brian burst into tears, unable to control his emotions any longer.
“No, Brian, it’s not your fault.” Nick held his shaking frame.
Brian looked at him in confusion.
“But, but, but…” he was unable to speak and he let his voice drift off.
“You’ve been going through a lot; this shouldn’t be your fault.” Nick said to him firmly.
“I suck, you know that Nick.” Brian’s voice was barely above a whisper as he looked at Nick pleadingly.
“Some people say you suck, but I don’t think you…”
“Nick, you wouldn’t be in that wheelchair if it hadn’t been me.” Brian interrupted Nick, his voice growing tighter.
“Brian, listen to me,” Nick took hold of Brian’s shoulders as he began to sob again, “Brian, you’ve been an inspiration to me ever since I was a kid… You helped me get through a lot of difficult times I had in my teens and I should thank you for that.” he paused momentarily before continuing, “Without you, I would be helplessly groping in the dark. You’re a wonderful guy, Brian. Ever since you joined the Backstreet Boys, I’ve known for so long that you’re the band mate we’re looking for. You’ve contributed a lot to our group so you shouldn’t be kicked out. I’ll convince the other guys that you won’t be kicked out.”
Brian still had a look of skepticism in his eyes as he looked for Nick’s reassurance.
“We’re Frick and Frack, Brian. We’ll get through whatever comes our way.”