Chapter One Chapter One

 

            “Oh stop, I can’t take it anymore!” Andrea yelled to her cousin, Annie, as they were driving down the interstate. 

 

            “What?  Now I’m not allowed to complain about this?  I cannot believe that I am actually on this insane road trip with you anyway,” Annie retorted.  “I mean, I know that I said if they every go back on tour we would totally go, but I didn’t actually think it would happen so I didn’t think I had anything to worry about!” 

 

They rode in silence for about a mile, but Andrea could not help the smile that was creeping onto her face.  She looked over at her cousin, who was also trying to halt a smile but was not winning that battle. 

 

“I know you are excited about this, so don’t even try to hide it,” Andrea said to Annie.  “You can lie to everyone else about where we are going and what we are doing, but you and I both know the truth, and the truth is you planned this whole trip, and you cannot say it was all for me.  You’re still in love with them too, you big teeny bopper!”

 

They burst out laughing in unison, and it continued until tears welled up in their eyes and Andrea could no longer clearly see the road she was driving on.  As they were wiping away the tears that had collected in the corners of their eyes, Annie looked over at her cousin.  Andrea met her gaze and gave her a brief smile, but Annie could see much more emotion behind her cousin’s eyes.  There were more than just her tears from laughter; she knew her cousin was thinking about the past 8 months, because she too had been thinking about the exact same thing.

 

            “I’m sorry Andi,” Annie said with a hint of sadness in her voice.  But her voice perked up when she said, “I am very excited about this trip, but not because I am still in love with them.  I am excited because this is our first ‘long distance’ road trip together, not just a day or two.  We are going to be on the road together for three whole weeks!”

 

            “I am really excited about it too, Annie.  I still can’t believe we were able to take our vacations at the same time.  The Gods were smiling on us the day we requested that, don’t you think?  And I’m very proud of you for not making a single comment about how expensive this is going to be either,” Andrea stated jokingly with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. 

 

Andrea and Annie worked for Jingle All the Way, a jingle writing/producing company that the two girls had founded.  When they were younger they had always said they wanted to do everything together as they grew up, which included working together.  They had always been inseparable since they were toddlers, and the fact that Andrea was only one year older than Annie always aided in that closeness. 

 

When Andrea graduated High School, Annie still had a year left, so Andrea decided to work for a year at her job, the same job she’d had since she was 16, and go to college with Annie after she graduated.  During that year though, Andrea had decided that she did not want to keep doing the same thing day after day for a company that meant nothing to her.  She sat Annie down a few months before her High School graduation, and they decided together they wanted more than that, and they started to put their plan into action. 

 

Instead of going to a university like they were planning to do, they took courses at the Technical College in the areas of business operations, management, and finances.  While in school, they came up with a concept for a business they wanted to have, put together a business plan, and submitted it to area business men and women in hopes of finding someone to help fund their venture.  A week and a half before graduation they got the call they were waiting for, and three months later, along with help from some very close business associates, they opened the doors to Jingle All the Way.

 

“Yeah, it is rather amazing that we are going to be gone for that long and the place is going to stay afloat,” commented Annie.  “I can’t believe that this is our first real vacation from that place since we started it three years ago.  And why would I say anything about how much this is going to cost?  You’re the one to tries to talk the salesperson into giving you something for free just because you spent money in the store!”

 

“Touché,” said Andrea with a smile.  She drove for a few more miles without saying anything, and then she turned to her cousin with a thoughtful look in her eyes and said, “Thank you for this Annabelle, I really need it.”

 

“I know you do, and that’s why I’m not going to say anything else negative about them, and I’m going to enjoy myself just as much as you will.  And I will deny this vehemently if you repeat my words to anyone, but I am still in love with them!”  Annie squawked as her cheeks turned red and a stupid smile came across her face.

 

“I knew it!” Andrea said in an I-told-you-so tone of voice.  “But why are we calling them ‘them’, are you unable to say their names without having a teeny bopper hyper-spaz fit?”

 

“No, I can say it,” responded Annie defiantly.  “I am just trying to not be as immature as you and build this up.”

 

“Then say it!” challenged Andrea.

 

“Oh fine,” stammered Annie.  “I’ll say it-Backstreet Boys, Backstreet Boys, Backstreet Boys; are you happy now?”

 

“Very,” chided Andrea.  “Acknowledging the love you feel for the boys is the first step to recovery!”

 

“Cute…. just drive,” replied Annie, pretending to be annoyed. 

 

Andrea was laughing despite her attempts not to, and Annie soon joined in.  It was typical of the relationship they had; most of their time together was always spent goofing around, laughing, and partaking in some very interesting conversations.

 

When the laughter had died down a bit, Annie turned to Andrea and said, “I always have so much fun with you.  It’s been so long since you’ve been able to laugh and have a good time like this.  I’ve missed it so much.” 

 

The look on Andrea’s face led Annie to believe that maybe she shouldn’t have said that, but she so desperately wanted her cousin to know that it’s okay to have fun again and to move on.  Tears started to well up in Andrea’s eyes and Annie knew instinctively what was wrong, that night eight months ago was haunting them both, again, and Annie wondered to herself how she could help her best friend move on.  When will it be okay, what will it take or whom will it take?

 

“Finally….I didn’t think we would ever make it!” exclaimed Andrea as they pulled into the parking lot of the hotel.  Annie sighed and she opened the car door and attempted to get out.

 

            “That was a really long drive since the last rest stop,” she complained as she realized that every part of her lower body had fallen asleep while she was riding in the car.  "Next time, we are not driving straight through, Cincinnati is just too far!"  It was just past two o’clock in the afternoon and they wanted to get into their room and freshen up before they had to be at the venue. 

 

            “C’mon girl, get the lead out,” Andrea shouted behind her as Annie was still trying to walk normally and get feeling back in her legs.  “We only have an hour to get ready before we have to leave and you are not going to make me late for the soundcheck!”

 

            The two girls made their way into the hotel lobby and up to the front desk, where a very friendly woman greeted them; her nametag read “Samantha”.  After they checked in, Andrea and Annie dragged their bags to the elevator and pressed the “up” bottom.  As they were waiting for the elevator, Annie looked over at her cousin and noticed the anticipation and excitement on Andrea’s face.  When Andrea noticed Annie looking at her, she turned to look at her and noticed the same expression on Annie’s face.

 

            “I guess you are excited too, huh?” Andrea asked.

           

            “Yeah, I guess I am,” replied Annie.  “Who would have thought that I would be this excited about going to not one, not even two, but six Backstreet Boys concerts over a three week period.”  Andrea chuckled a bit and the girls stepped onto the elevator and up they went to their room.

 

            Andrea and Annie had not been to a Backstreet Boys concert since their first tour in 1998.  After the boys took a break, Annie became skeptical that they would reunite, and she started to let her love for the group fade, but Andrea never did.  She knew they would get back together and do another tour, and she made Annie promise her one day a few years ago that when the Backstreet Boys went on tour again, Annie would go with her, and Annie promised, thinking it would never happen. 

 

            As they were walking off the elevator Andrea turned to Annie.  “It is kind of surreal when you think that we are going all over the country, doing fun stuff all along the way, and mixing in six BSB concerts to top it all off, isn’t it?”

 

            “I’m still trying to comprehend our middle of the night drive from Wisconsin to Ohio, so I cannot even begin to process how many miles we are going to put on your car over the next three weeks!” Annie responded.  The girls walked into their room and plopped their bags onto the beds.  They wanted to walk around the hotel and see what it had to offer, but decided to get ready for the sound check and concert first.  Surprisingly, the two were ready and looking fabulous in record time, so they set off on their exploration of the hotel. 

           

            Annie had wanted to talk to Andrea all afternoon about what she was feeling during the car ride, and she decided that this would be the best time as any.  As they turned a corner and started walking down another hallway, Annie stopped Andrea and motioned for her to sit down on the bench that lined the wall. 

 

            “I know that things have been really hard over the past several months, but I am really starting to worry that you are not letting go the way you should be.  I know there is no amount of time that is going to make you forget, but there has to come a time when you are okay living your life without them.  He was not my husband and they were not my kids, but I still loved them so much and I miss them too.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, maybe this trip could be your turning point.  Maybe during this time, you will realize that Michael would have wanted you to be happy and my hope for you is that during this trip, you find happiness.  Find someway to be “at home” again.”

 

            Tears had welled up Annie’s eyes as she finished her statement.  Her and Andrea had talked, and talked, and talked so many times about the accident and about her life after it.  There was nothing that they didn’t talk about.  Andrea has said many times that she is coping and dealing with it, and that she is moving on, but her actions and emotions have not shown it.  She has not looked at another man in any personal way in eight months.  It was time for her to fall in love again, to create a family again, to be at home again.

 

            “I miss them so much,” Andrea began to sob as her best friend wrapped her arms around her.  After a few minutes of crying, Andrea looked up, and wiped her eyes.  It was as if she had gained a whole new outlook on her life and what she wanted out of her life, or what she referred to often as her “new” life.  That would not be the last time she would cry for her husband and her babies, but that would be the last time she would cry because she was standing still in a world moving constantly around her.  She was finally ready to move on, and that’s what she was going to do.

 

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

            After the tearful conversation they had on the bench, Andrea and Annie walked back to their room to freshen up.  Ten minutes later they were out the door and on the elevator going down to the lobby.  During check-in they had told Samantha all about their expedition, including the Backstreet Boys concerts they would be attending.  As they walked past the desk Samantha looked up and smiled at the two girls.  “The shuttle bus is outside waiting for you.  Have fun tonight!”

 

            “Thanks, I’m sure we will,” replied Annie, as she and her cousin looked at each other and smiled.  The two of them walked out the front door of the hotel and onto the shuttle bus that was waiting to take them to the venue.  “It sure is nice that we don’t have to drive there.  Parking would be a nightmare!” exclaimed Annie as they were sitting down in the bus.

 

            “And expensive,” joked Andrea, remembering back to the conversation they had in the car earlier that day.  Eleven short minutes later the bus pulled up in the front of the Riverbend Music Center where the concert was taking place.  The girls hopped off the bus quickly and made their way inside the venue.  It was just about three-thirty and they knew the doors for sound check would be opening soon.  Even though neither one of the girls had been to this place before and really had no idea where they needed to go, all they had to do was follow the shrill screams and shrieks of all the other fans. 

 

            As they rounded the corner they saw two huge men holding the doors open that lead to the floor section of the arena.  Andrea and Annie quickened their pace and as they approached the two large men, got out their tickets and sound check passes.  The men waved them inside and they ran up to the front row and nabbed the last two seats still open. 

           

            “I feel like such a little kid,” said Andrea as she took her seat.  “I don’t know why I feel so nervous, but I just have this excitement built up in my body; I feel like something unexpected is going to happen.  This is going to be a great time, I can tell!”

 

            Annie looked at her cousin and just laughed.  “Yeah, who knows,” she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “maybe Nick will ask you to come backstage and maybe AJ and I will go onto his bus and do the nasty a few times before the show starts!”

 

            “You are so not funny,” Andrea replied flatly.  She paused for a minute and turned to her cousin so that her back was to the stage and without thinking about it yelled out, “Because if anyone is going to do the nasty on a tour bus with one of the Backstreet Boys, it’s going to be me!”  Andrea was just trying to joke around with her cousin, but she didn’t realized how loudly she actually said that.  She also didn’t notice that the room had gotten completely silent during her outburst.  Andrea looked around to see why everyone had stopped talking and just as she was turning around to face the stage again, she felt someone tapping her on the shoulder.  She jerked around quickly and came face to face, well actually face to chest because she was only 5’ tall, with Nick Carter.  She looked up at him, her face as red as a tomato, and tried to think of something to say.  She was not sure if he had heard what she had just shouted out to her cousin. 

 

            As she was about to speak, Nick spoke instead, “Well, that sounds like a lot of fun, I will make sure find you after the show!”  He flashed the most attractive smile she had ever seen and hopped back up onto the stage where the other guys were standing and laughing. 

 

            Andrea was in shock, but she was not sure if it was because she had just been six inches away from someone she has loved and adored since she was fourteen, or if it was because that someone she has loved and adored since she was fourteen just talked about doing the nasty with her on the tour bus after the show.  Annie elbowed her cousin in the ribs and Andrea gasped. 

 

            “Ow, that hurt,” she said her cousin, much quieter than her previous comment had been. 

 

            “I cannot believe that just happened,” Annie whispered to Andrea as the boys were getting ready to start sound check.  Annie did not notice AJ staring at her from the stage. 

 

            “Do you think they are sisters?” AJ whispered to Nick as they were setting up their stools for their first song.  “I mean, they look a lot alike in the face, but that girl is so short and the other one is so tall.”

 

            “Dude, I have no idea.  But we can find out if you want,” Nick responded as the music started for their first song.             

           

            The boys sang five songs during sound check and everyone watching was having a great time.  Brian was acting goofy like he always does, Howie was winking like a crazy man with a twitch, and Kevin was acting like the strong silent type that he is, but Andrea and Annie didn’t pay too much attention to them.  They were too preoccupied watching Nick and AJ. 

 

            When the Backstreet Boys were done singing, they came down from the stage and signed some autographs for their fans and took a few pictures.  Andrea and Annie were standing together talking about what they were going to do until the concert was going to start, and they noticed that those big men that were letting people in to sound check were walking towards them.  They stopped right in front of the girls.

 

            “You two, come with us.”

 

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

            Andrea and Annie looked at each other and gulped.  They started to walk behind one of the men, and the other man walked behind them; they were sandwiched between two very large, beefy guys, and Andrea and Annie felt very awkward. 

           

            “How’d you like to have your body guarded by one of these guys,” Annie joked to Andrea as they were walking down a darkened hallway. 

 

            “Dude, shut up, they could probably squish us with one finger.  I don’t want to piss them off,” replied Andrea, in a very cautious tone.  She looked back at the bodyguard behind her and turned back to Annie.  “What do you think they are going to do to us?”

 

            “Hopefully a full pat down and a strip search,” Annie laughed as she looked back at the bodyguard behind them.  She noticed the slight smile that was curling up on his lips and she felt very content with her comment.  “Aw, I think he likes us,” chided Annie as they approached the door at the end of the hallway. 

           

            “Okay ladies,” the man they were following said.  “My name is Marcus; the guy behind you is Q.  We are two of the bodyguards for the guys.  AJ asked us to escort you after the sound check to his tour bus.”

 

            “Oh my God, I wasn’t serious about me being the one to do the nasty with them on the tour bus!” Andrea shouted with a hint of panic in her voice.  She quickly looked from the bodyguards to her cousin.  “Dude, tell these guys that I wasn’t serious!”

 

            Annie began laughing hysterically, as did Marcus and Q.  “Andi, relax, I’m sure they are quite capable of meeting fans without doing them!” Annie responded.  “You only have to have sex with them if you want to,” she quickly added as Marcus opened the door and they all walked out into the late afternoon sunlight.  The girls looked from side to side and noticed barricades set up on each side about 100 feet from where they were standing.  Behind the barricades on both sides were mobs of girls watching their every move.  They also noticed three large buses parked in front of the doors. 

 

            “This way ladies,” Q said, as they escorted the girls into one of the buses.  “Bone, they’re here,” he announced as they entered the bus.  “We’ll be outside if you need anything,” and both men turned around and walked off the bus.

 

            Andrea and Annie watched the bodyguards walk off the bus and looked around, trying to figure out what was happening and what they should do.  They appeared to be in a living room type setting, there was a couch and couple of bean bag chairs, a TV and some game systems.  They just stood there staring wide-eyed at each other, and then they heard footsteps approaching.

 

            “Hey Nick, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen fans who actually look scared to see us!” AJ yelled to the other end of the bus as he walked further into the room.  Andrea jabbed Annie in the side, signaling her to say something.

 

            “Ow, umm, we aren’t scared, just wondering what is going on and how we ended up on this bus,” Annie said, trying to sound as calm and casual as could.  She wanted to let AJ know that they could handle this, so she added, “Andrea was just worried that you guys thought she was serious about doing the nasty with her on the bus!”

 

            “Oh, I was,” said Nick as he emerged from the back of the bus with a sexy, sly smile on his face.  He walked up to Andrea and introduced himself.  “Hi, I am Nick, and you are?”  Andrea just stood there for a minute and didn’t say anything.  All she could do was stare at him, he was so damn attractive. 

 

            “I’m Annie, nice to meet you Nick,” Annie butted in, hoping to save her friend from any further embarrassment.  Nick grabbed Annie’s hand and bent over to kiss it.

 

            “Likewise,” he said in a sultry voice.  “But who are you?” he asked again turning toward Andrea.  Seeing Nick kissing her cousin hand snapped her out of whatever trance she was in, and she responded,

 

            “My name is Andrea.  And before you get any more dirty ideas in your head, I am not doing the nasty on this bus with you right now!”

 

            Nick looked directly into Andrea’s eyes, and she felt goose bumps rising on her skin.  She was about to cut the gaze between them and look away, when he grabbed her hand and bent down to kiss it as he had done with Annie’s hand.  “At least you didn’t say you are never going to do the nasty on this bus with me.”

 

            Annie and AJ started laughing and Andrea just smiled at Nick and once again, turned beet red.  In hopes of cutting some of the sexual tension exploding throughout the room, he stepped up to introduce himself.

 

            “Ladies, it is a pleasure to meet you.  I’m AJ, but I would really like you to call me Alex.  Did you enjoy the sound check?”

 

            Andrea was too busy staring at Nick to respond, so Annie told him that sound check was great and they could not wait for the concert tonight.  She told him how this was their first concert since 1998 and how her and Andrea have been fans since she was 13 and Andrea was 14. 

 

            “So, Nick and I were wondering….are you two sisters?” AJ asked as casually as possible.

 

            “Well, most people think we are, but we are actually cousins.  We have just done everything together for so long that sometimes we even think we are sisters,” responded Andrea responded, breaking the trance she had been enveloped in. 

 

            “Kind of reminds me of Brian and Kevin,” said AJ, as he motioned for the girls to take a seat in the living room area.  Annie thought the guys would expect her sit on the couch next to her cousin, so she decided to plop down in one of the bean bag chairs instead.  Annie never did like to do things that people expected her to do.  AJ sat down in the bean bag chair next to her and just smiled.  She totally seems like my type of girl he thought to himself as he scooted his chair closer to hers.

 

            Andrea had no other choice but to sit down on the couch next to Nick.  She was very nervous, but she didn’t know why.  There was no reason for her to feel like she was doing something wrong.  It was time to start making herself happy again, and if this was the road back home that God had planned for her, then she was just going to hold on for the ride.

 

             She slid back onto the couch next to Nick and he pretended to yawn and stretched his arm above his head, then lowered it behind Andrea’s neck.  Andrea looked up at him and he smiled at her.  “I just got a cramp in my arm, so I need to stretch it out,” he said, trying to sound serious. 

 

            “Oh, a cramp, that must be painful,” Andrea responded, playing along.  She suddenly felt a pain in her heart; she and Michael used to joke around like that when they first started dating.  She had not had enough time with him, five years is not long enough, and now a bitter feeling was taking over her.  Annie saw the change in her cousin’s expression, and knew something was up.

 

            “Andi, are you okay?” asked Annie, trying to not let on to Nick and AJ that there was more behind that question than they could possibly know.  Andrea looked at her cousin, and then she looked up at Nick and over at AJ, and saw the concerned looks on their faces.  She would have to deal with her issues at a different time.  There was no reason to bring any of it up when this was a one-time deal and she would never be on this bus again. 

 

            “I’m fine.  We just haven’t eaten anything since ten o’clock this morning when we stopped at a rest stop during the drive, and I guess it just caught up with me now,” Andrea said.

 

            “Okay, this problem we can fix,” announced AJ, completely oblivious to the deeper issues that accompanied Andrea and Annie.  “Where do y’all want to go eat?”

 

After some deliberation and a little bit of head butting, the four decided to go to a little eatery the girls had seen on their shuttle bus trip from the hotel to the venue.  It took them almost fifteen minutes to decide, due to Nick wanting one thing, AJ wanting something different, and Andrea and Annie saying over and over it didn’t matter to them.

 

            “How are we going to get there?” Annie asked, remembering that they didn’t have Andrea’s car to drive.  “Maybe we should just go someplace we can walk to,” she suggested instead.  Everyone started looking at each other, and Andrea knew that if it became an open discussion again, she would starve for sure.  She resolved to use the same tactics she used with her kids when they had a hard time deciding, she decided for them!

 

            “Okay, guys, we are not going to get back in time for the concert if we keep this up, so let’s just find a way to get out of this bus and away from the venue without hordes of fans following us, and we will go to the first place we see, sound good?” she suggested the most authoritative voice she could muster.

 

            Nick and AJ just looked at each other surprisingly, they were not used to being talked to in such a commanding way; usually it was them that talked to people that way.  Annie noticed the amazed look on the boys’ faces and started to giggle.

 

            “Just wait until you do something wrong and need to be punished,” Annie said between gasps for air from her laughing fit.  “Then you’ll be in for a real treat!” 

 

Andrea shot Annie an uncompromising look.  “Maybe instead of making me sound like a kindergarten teacher, you could help me out here!” she said, sounding exasperated. 

 

“You’re right, Andi.  Let’s go boys, find a way to get us out of here and get something to eat!” barked Annie as if she were a drill sergeant.  “How was that?” Annie asked, turning to Andrea.  Annie noticed Andrea looking past her towards Nick and AJ and laughing.  Annie turned around and saw Nick and AJ standing at attention, saluting her.

“Aye aye, captain,” said AJ, and he walked over to the door of the bus and talked to Marcus about what the plan was.  Marcus poked his head around the side the door and told Andrea and Annie to come out first and go inside the venue, then boys would be escorted into the venue a few minutes after them.  From there they would be taken out a side door of the venue and ushered into a car that was waiting there for them. 

 

Andrea walked off the bus first, followed by Annie, and the girls behind the barricades started screaming and yelling.  At first they thought it was because Nick and AJ were coming off the bus, but when they realized it was “those b*tches that got to be inside the tour bus with Nick and AJ” they started yelling derogatory statements at the girls. 

This is crazy, Annie thought to herself as they were walking towards the door to the venue.  “I can’t believe they are saying things like that to us, they don’t even know us,” said Annie to her cousin, who was also looking around, overwhelmed by the way the fans were acting. 

            “I know, this is so unreal,” Annie replied to her cousin, looking at her.  Just then she noticed an object flying right towards her cousin’s head.  “Look out!” she yelled, hopeful her cousin would be able to move out the way before it hit her.  Nick and AJ heard Andrea yelling and ran off the bus to see what was going on.  They walked off the bus just in time to see a rock about the size of a golf ball hit Annie in the head.

 

            “Oh my God!” yelled Nick, running off the bus, with AJ in tow.  “Where did that rock come from?” Nick shouted as he was ripping off his shirt.  He balled up his shirt and used it to apply pressure to Annie’s head, which was bleeding profusely.  The entire crowd of fans became silent when they realized what had happened. 

 

            “Annie, can her hear me?  Are you okay?” asked Andrea.  Annie did not respond to her questions, she appeared to be unconscious.  Annie’s head was bleeding so heavily the blood was starting to soak through Nick’s shirt, and showing now signs of slowing any. 

 

            Q had already called the paramedics that stay onsite during concerts, and they were coming around the building now.  Marcus, however, was nowhere in sight.

 

            “Where is Marcus?” Nick shouted at Q, afraid that the fans were going to bum rush them or worse, do something else to hurt Andrea or Annie.

 

 I never thought it would come to this, that our fans could be like this, Nick thought to himself as the paramedics started working on Annie. 

 

He looked up at Andrea, who looked like she was about to fall over, and probably would have if AJ did not have his arm around her holding her up.  Then he looked into the crowd of girls and noticed Marcus pushing through them, guiding a young woman in front of him.  By now, more security guards were supervising the barricades, and when Marcus and the girl approached, the guards moved the barricades to let them both through, then replaced them before a single fan could sneak through.

 

“I’m taking her to the security office until the po-po get here and decide what to do with her,” Marcus said to one of the security guards as he made his way into the venue. 

 

“I’m sorry,” the girl pleaded as she was walking past the boys and Andrea.  “I didn’t mean to hurt her.  I was just so jealous that you guys were on the bus with them….” She trailed off as her and Marcus kept walking.

 

            “We are going to have to take her to the hospital,” one of the EMT’s said, as they were lifting up the gurney they had loaded Annie onto.  “Do you want to ride in the ambulance with her?” he asked, looking at Andrea. 

 

            Andrea looked at the EMT and only nodded her head.  Even if she had wanted to verbally respond, she was not able to form any words to do so.  She knew if she started to talk, she would lose it, just as she had the day she lost her husband and her two kids, the day she watched the EMT’s load her husband and her babies into the ambulance and drive away, just as they were doing now with her best friend.

 

            Andrea climbed into the back of the ambulance and sat down next to her cousin, grabbing Annie’s hand and enclosing it in her own.  Just as the door was shutting, Nick stuck his hand into the door to stop them from closing it.  He handed Andrea piece of paper with a phone number on it.

 

            “This is my cell phone number, I want you to call me as soon as you find out what’s going on,” Nick instructed her.  Andrea just nodded her head as the EMT’s closed the doors.  Andrea tucked the piece of paper into the pocket of her jeans, knowing she would never use it.  That was the last time she would talk to Nick Carter; that much she was sure of.

 

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Six hours, twenty-three stitches, two official police statements, and a chat with the District Attorney later, the girls were in a taxi on their way back to the hotel.

“We never did get to the restaurant, and I’m starving,” whined Annie as they got situated in the taxi. It was almost ten o’clock at night they were both hungry and exhausted.

“I’m just glad that your only issue is being hungry,” replied Andrea, giving her cousin a relieved look. “I was not aware that one’s head could bleed so copiously without leaving permanent damage. Of course, you were always off your rocker anyway, so even if you do end up with brain damage, it’s not going to be much different hanging around with you!” Andrea joked to her cousin. She was just grateful that her cousin was all right. There had been so much blood and it took almost a half hour for Annie to regain consciousness once they arrived at the hospital.

Test after test had been done to make sure there was no brain damage, cracks in her skull, swelling or fluid build-up. In between the test and doctors and nurses coming in and out of their little room in the emergency ward, two policemen had taken their statements about the incident. “We’ve already taken the statements of everyone at the venue, so you are our last stop before heading back to the precinct,” one of the policemen had said. He also informed them that criminal charges were being pressed by the State of Ohio against the woman that “assaulted” Annie. “She is pleading guilty, so you don’t have to worry about a trial or sticking around in the area longer than you planned on,” the officer had said on his way out.

When the DA came to see them an hour later, the doctor was giving them the final results from the tests. The district attorney informed them that the woman would not have to serve any jail time, she would be ordered to pay for any out of pocket costs Annie would have from medical bills, fines to the court, and she would have to do 1500 hours of community service. Annie and Andrea were glad to hear that. They did not think that girl should just be let off, but she certainly did not deserve to go to jail.

“Oh, you are just so amusing,” retorted Annie. “So what are we going to get to eat?” Andrea did not respond. “Earth to Andi! Hey!” Annie shouted so loud it startled the driver. Andrea looked over at her cousin like she had just been woken up from a deep sleep. “Dude, where’d ya go?

“Sorry Annabelle, I was just thinking about…..” she trailed off. Annie gave her a prodding look, and Andrea continued, “Nick gave me his cell number and asked me to call when I found something out. I just don’t know if I should call him. I mean c’mon, he is a Backstreet Boy and meets fans all day every day. If it weren’t for you getting pummeled in the head with a rock, he would probably never even remember us. I’m not going to call him, that’s it. I’ve made up my mind. Nick who?” Andrea said, trying to sound convincing, although it wasn’t Annie she was trying to convince, it was herself.

Annie was not convinced. She saw something in Andrea’s eyes when she looked at Nick, and she saw the same thing in Nick’s eyes when he looked at Andrea. She knew it had nothing to do with him being famous, or with Andrea being so cute to look at, with her long, curly brown hair, entrancing emerald green eyes, show-stopping smile, and short, curvy body.

I know Nick likes her, Annie thought to herself. And I know Andrea likes him too. She hasn’t looked at a man that way in eight months, and before that, she didn’t look at anyone that way except her husband. Now all I have to do is figure out where she put Nick’s number and a way to get them together again.

The remainder of the ride to the hotel was spent in silence; Andrea staring out the window deep in thought, and Annie devising her matchmaking plan. As they rolled up to the hotel, Annie was very satisfied with what she had come up with.

“C’mon girl, let’s get cleaned up and figure out what we are going to have for dinner,” Annie said enthusiastically as they exited the taxi. They walked through the lobby as quickly as possible, hoping Samantha would not see them. The made their way onto the elevator without being seen, and they each breathed a sigh of relief.

“She is a really friendly lady, but pretty nosy for a front desk clerk!” Andrea said as her and Annie looked at each other and laughed. The elevator came to a stop on their floor, and as they were walking down the hall to their room, Andrea asked, “Do you want to shower first? You could probably use it more than me.”

“No, you go ahead. I am going to look through the restaurant guide and decide what I want to eat.” And this way I can look through your purse and your pants pockets while you are in the shower and find his number, Annie thought to herself, which caused a smirk to come across her lips.

“What are you smirking about?” Andrea asked in a curious tone.

“Nothing,” Annie responded, almost too quickly. The girls walked into their room. Andrea took off her clothes, wrapped her robe around her, and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

Once Annie heard the water running and Andrea singing, she felt secure enough to starting nosing through Andrea’s stuff. “Bingo!” Annie shouted a few minutes later and she pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of Andrea’s pants pocket.

“What are you yelling about?” Andrea inquired from the bathroom.

“What? Huh? Oh, nothing. I just found what I want to have for dinner, that’s all,” answered Annie. “Does pizza sound good to you?” Annie knew she didn’t even have to ask that. Andrea could eat pizza morning, noon, and night.

“Sounds good to me,” Andrea said, walking out of the bathroom. “Your turn; I’ll order the pizza, you get cleaned up.” Annie started to walk quickly into the bathroom. “Wait a minute!” Andrea yelled. Annie froze, afraid that Andrea figured out what she was up to. Instead, Andrea continued, “Did you know there’s a phone in the bathroom? Who has to talk to someone that badly that they can’t wait until they are out of the bathroom, honestly?”
“Yeah, that’s crazy, but I’m going to use it to order the pizza!” replied Annie, as she walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. And I’m going to use it to call Nick. This couldn’t have worked out more perfect.

“She is seriously ordering the pizza from the bathroom, she must have brain damage,” Andrea said as she noticed the red light next to ‘line two’ was lit up on the phone base. She pulled her comfy lounge pants and a tank top out of her suitcase and got dressed. She looked at the phone again and noticed the light was still on. How long does it take to order a pizza? She thought to herself and she started to untangle her wet hair with a pick. She had no idea that Annie was actually on her second phone call.

 

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Annie walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and a robe wrapped around her body.

“I love these hotel bathrobes, they are so cushy and soft!” she said, rubbing the robe against her face, smiling. Then she looked at the table and pouted. “I thought the pizza would be here by now.” Just as she finished her sentence, there was a knock on the door. “Yay,” she said. “I’m famished!”

“Well you can’t answer the door like that, so you go get dressed and I’ll get the pizza,” Andrea told her cousin, trying not to laugh. The pizza guy knocked on the door again. “I’m coming,” Andrea yelled through the door. She flung the door open and was about to give the pizza guy a lecture about patience when she noticed he was very tall and she didn’t want to get in a fight with someone his size.
“Sorry it took so long,” she decided upon instead. “Let me grab my purse,” she said as she left the door open and walked back into the room to grab her wallet. Why does he have his hat pulled down so far over his face? She thought to herself and she was getting her money out. I can’t even see his face, that’s really creepy. “How much do I owe you?” Andrea asked as she walked back to the door.

“Nothing, it’s on me,” the creepy pizza guy responded.

“Ummm, no, thanks, that’s okay, what’s the total?” Andrea asked again, starting to get uncomfortable. I wonder if my pepper spray is in here somewhere? she thought to herself, looking down at her purse.

“No really, you don’t owe me anything,” the man said, as he took off his hat. Andrea was getting really annoyed this point and looked up at the pizza guy as fast as she could. “Listen you…..” she started, but froze when she saw gleaming blue eyes penetrating through her own. “What are you doing here?” Andrea asked softly. Her heart was melting as she stood there, caught in the trance those captivating blue eyes put her in.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked her tenderly.

“Oh, hey Nick, glad you could make it,” Annie said as she walked past the door. “Oooh, is that our pizza? Give it here, I’m starving!” Annie grabbed the pizza box from Nick and had a piece out and in her mouth before she even set the box on the table.

“Can I come in?” Nick asked, looking into the room.

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, come on in,” Andrea answered, stepping aside to let him pass. He smiled at her and his arm brushed against her breast as he was walking past her. She didn’t know if it was intentional or not, but she liked the way it felt.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said blushing.

“Don’t be, it’s okay,” Andrea said with equally red cheeks. “Have a seat. Can I get you anything?” Andrea asked as Nick sat down on the edge of one of the beds. This is a hotel room for God sakes. What am I going to get him? She thought to herself, feeling stupid for asking the question.

“No, I’m good, thanks. Annie, how is your head? I am so sorry. I had no idea that would happen. Is there anything I can do, for either of you?” Nick directed that question more towards Andrea than Annie. Andrea picked up on it too, and he noticed her blushing again.

“I’m doing fine,” Annie said, with a mouthful of pizza. “Aside from it bleeding a lot, there was just a small gash, no permanent damage; just needed some stitches and now I’m good to go.” Annie swallowed her pizza and looked at Nick. “Can you let AJ know I’m okay?” she asked him in a quiet tone, almost as if she were embarrassed for asking that.

“Of course, but maybe you could just tell him yourself. Hold on.” Nick got out his cell phone and dialed a number. “Hey, there’s someone here who wants to talk to you,” he said into the phone, and then handed it to Annie.

“Hello…AJ?” Annie asked meagerly into the phone. There was silence on her end, as AJ was talking to her. “Oh, I’m okay. Just some stitches and a nice bruise, other than that…..” she continued, as their conversation took off.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?” Nick asked Andrea. “Maybe if we leave her alone, she and AJ will have phone sex or something!” Nick yelled, so that both
Annie and AJ could hear him.

“Hold on a sec,” Annie said into the phone laughing. She looked at Nick’s phone, as if she was trying to find something. “How do I put this thing on speaker phone?” she asked, looking puzzled. Nick pointed to the button and Annie pressed it. “Okay Alex, it’s on speaker phone.”

“Nick, you are just jealous. You wish you were me so you could have phone sex, because we all know you don’t know how!” AJ shot back at Nick.

“I don’t need to have phone sex, when I can do the real thing,” he replied, smiling seductively at Andrea. “And on my tour bus,” he added, thinking back to Andrea’s outburst at the beginning of the sound check. “Seriously though, Andrea and I are going to give you two some privacy, we will be back in a little while. Bye Bone, bye Annie,” Nick said as he slid his hand onto the small of Andrea’s back. “Are you ready,” he asked
Andrea delicately.

“Yeah, sure,” she replied, unsure of how to handle the feelings that were building up inside her. She waved to Annie as they walked out the door.

“So, where are you guys headed to?” Nick asked casually as they walked down the hallway together.

“Actually, we on a Backstreet road trip, as odd as that sounds. We took three weeks off work to drive around the country, do some sightseeing, get away from everything, and six concerts are on our agenda. Although we missed one of those six tonight,” Andrea added, smiling.

God, I love that smile, Nick said to himself. “What show are you headed to next?” he asked aloud, trying not to sound as curious as he really was. She’s going to think I’m a stalker…cool it Nick, he reminded himself.

“Chicago,” she said, not even giving his question a second thought. She looked up at him, and found herself locking her gaze into those beautiful blue eyes again. This is going to mighty hard having a conversation with him if I can’t look into his eyes without losing my train of thought, she reflected to herself. “Where are you guys headed next?”

“Pittsburg,” he replied, never breaking his contact with her insatiable green eyes. I don’t want to leave her; I want her with me always. What is it I cannot escape from with her? How can I feel like this about somebody I don’t know anything about?

At this point, they were locked on each other, and being drawn in by each other eyes. Neither one of them realized how close their faces were until Andrea felt Nick’s breath on her lips. She pulled back, startled, unsure of what had just happened. Nick however was not going to let this chance go and he lunged into her, his lips crashing onto hers. The force of the kiss sent her reeling back into the wall, but he kept coming, never letting their lips separate. She opened her mouth as if to gasps, and she felt his tongue enter her mouth and start caressing her tongue. Before she knew what was happening, Andrea kissed him back. Nick moaned and kissed her harder.

“Oh my God, okay, we have to stop!” Andrea yelled, pushing Nick back. She had never felt so much passion from one kiss before and it seemed dangerous to her. Nick looked at her, and saw the same look in her eyes that he saw when they were playing around on the couch in the tour bus earlier that day. He just smiled and took her hand in his.

“We better get back to your room. I’m sure Annie is done on the phone by now and she’ll be wondering what happened to us,” he said, leading her back towards her room. I’m not going anywhere, Nick thought. How can I be falling for her? I’m going to show her she can trust me, and I will find out what’s holding her back. I’ve got all the time in the world for this one….

Why didn’t he push me into telling him what was wrong? Or why didn’t he keep trying to kiss me or get further? Isn’t that what superstars are supposed to do? He’ll be gone in a few hours, and this will be it. Why am I falling for him? Andrea tried to reason with herself on the walk back to her room, but without avail. As she put her key in the door to open it, she heard giggling from inside their room.

“Annie has never giggled while talking to a boy, EVER!” Andrea said, completely shocked by what she was hearing from their room. They walked in and saw AJ sitting on the bed with Annie. “Do you have a teleporter in your pocket or something? How did you get here so fast?” Andrea asked, not even trying to hide her surprise.

“Well, when a lady beckons, I must respond,” AJ said, in his best British accent. “So are you going to join your cousin and come with us to Pittsburgh?”

 

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Andrea stood in the doorway of her hotel room, her gaze moving from her cousin to AJ to Nick and back again. She had no idea what to say.

“Annie, can I talk to you for a second?” Andrea asked, motioning for the two of them to go into the hallway.

“We’ll be right back,” Annie said, smiling at AJ. AJ smiled back at Annie, and gave her two thumbs up. Annie knew what he meant by his gesture, but Nick had no clue. When the girls shut the door to the hotel room, Nick turned to AJ with an inquisitive look on his face.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

“The thumbs up, or the question I asked?” AJ inquired.

“Both, I guess. Did you ask Annie to go with you to Pittsburgh? Did she tell you the two of them are on a road trip together? How can you expect Annie to go with you and leave her cousin by herself to drive to Chicago?”

“Whoa, slow your roll a minute Nick and I will explain everything,” AJ said, a little stunned by the conviction he heard in Nick’s voice. “First of all, while you and Andrea were doing whatever you were doing, Annie confided in me about some things that have been going on in her life. Most of it pertained to Andrea, but I am not at liberty to tell you what we talked about. There are some things that Andrea will need to tell you when she is ready, but just know that it’s not something that you should be afraid of. She’s not psycho or anything like that, so don’t worry. Secondly, I am really into Annie, and you know as well as I do, that the only way to spend time with someone in our line of work is to bring them along wherever we go, so I asked her if she would like to get to know me a little better and come on the road with us for a little. Since they were planning on being on the road themselves for a few weeks, it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. And third, Annie said that she saw something in your eyes and in Andrea’s eyes when you two looked at each other, and she thought the only way the two of you could see if there is anything there is by the two of you doing what her and I are doing,” AJ stopped to catch his breath, and for Nick to have time to interject.

“Wow, that’s a lot of information to process this quickly,” Nick said after a minute to take in what he had just heard. “So, you and Annie are trying to set me up with Andrea?”

“Of all the things I said, I knew that would be the one thing you paid attention to,” AJ laughed as he punched Nick in the shoulder. “You are so one track minded!”

“Ouch!” yelped Nick. “I know, but you didn’t have to hit me Dawg!” They continued to goof around until they heard the door open and saw the girls walk back into the room.

 

 

“What is going on?” Andrea asked, once she and Annie were out of the guys’ earshot. “Did you tell Alex we would go with him to Pittsburgh?”

“Well, yeah, I did,” Annie said, a little concerned from Andrea’s reaction that maybe she shouldn’t have. “But I didn’t do it just for me; I did it for you too!”

“What do you mean you did it for me too?” Andrea asked. By this time she was fuming. “This was supposed to be our trip together, just the two of us, like Thelma and Louise, remember? This was going to be my turning point, my ‘crossroads’ as you put it. This whole thing was your idea and now you are changing it!” Andrea continued to yell. She was so flustered, but the more she ranted and more she realized that it wasn’t toward Annie, but rather towards the reality that this meant she would be with Nick more. It was at that moment she realized what Annie was doing, and she knew this would be her “fork in the road”.  She just had to decide which path to take.

She looked up at Annie, her expression softened, “I know what you are doing, you sneaky little minx,” she said to her cousin, giving her a devious, yet accepting look.

“I can never get anything by you, can I?” Annie teased back. She was relieved that her cousin had calmed down, and she was happy Andrea knew why she did what she did. “Are you sure….” Annie started to say, but she stopped as soon as Andrea jumped up and wrapped her arms around her neck, hugging her.

“Thank you,” Andrea whispered as she hugged her cousin. “For everything.”

“Yeah, whatever, you’re welcome,” Annie said, trying to sound disgusted. “Now get off me,” she joked. “You know I don’t like being touched!” Andrea just laughed. Her cousin had never liked to show affection, although she never understood why. Andrea was the only person, with the exception of her own mom, that Annie let get close to her. And for that reason, Andrea hugged Annie every chance she got.

“Yeah, I bet you won’t be telling Alex to get off you!” Andrea taunted, as they started to walk back into the hotel room. Both girls were laughing uncontrollably as they re-entered the room. Annie walked over to AJ, and he leaned over and whispered into her ear.

“How did it go?”

“Fine,” Annie responded, loud enough for everyone to hear. “When do we leave for Pittsburgh?” she asked the guys, smiling at Andrea.

“Yeah, when do we leave?” Andrea asked, copying Annie, only her smile was aimed at Nick.

“As soon as you guys get your crap out of this room and into your car,” AJ laughed. Andrea and Annie quickly threw the things they had taken out of their suitcase earlier back into them and zipped them shut.

“Ready!” yelled Annie, letting her excitement show. She knew this was going to a trip she would never forget. She was so rapturous about spending more time with Alex, and she didn’t care who knew it.

“Shouldn’t we change into clothes or something, instead of wearing our pajamas?” Andrea asked, laughing at the way her cousin was acting. Andrea was always the one to ask the practical questions.

“No, you guys are fine,” Nick said as he picked up Andrea’s bags. “We are just going to take your car back to our hotel and get on the buses. You’ll want to be comfortable for the ride.”

“Okay, but what are we going to do with our car?”

“I already talked to the hotel and they said you can leave it there until we come back through on our way to Chicago. They will keep an eye on it,” AJ responded. “Are you girl all set then?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Andrea. “We just have to stop by the front desk and checkout. You guys should go out to our car before us though, because the girl at the desk will never let me leave if she knows I am going somewhere with the Backstreet Boys,” Andrea said as she started laughing. Nick and AJ just looked at each puzzled.

“I’ll explain it you on the way out to the car,” Annie laughed as they all walked out of the hotel room.

As they made their way down to the elevator Annie told them all about the nosey from desk clerk. When they entered the lobby, Annie and the boys walked out first, and avoided making eye contact with the Samantha. Luckily, she did not recognize any of them. A few seconds later, Andrea walked up to the desk and told Samantha they needed to check out.

“Is anything wrong with the room? Where is Annie? How was the concert?” and the questions just kept coming. Finally Andrea interrupted her and told her they were in a hurry and she needed to get going, without answering any of Samantha’s questions.

“Okay, well I won’t keep you,” Samantha said, her voice burning with more questions she wanted to ask and have answers to. “Are you sure though that there wasn’t anything wrong with your room or the hotel?”

“I’m sure Samantha, everything was fine. We are just moving on,” said Andrea, knowing she meant herself more than she meant her and Annie. “Thanks,” she said as she collected her receipt and walked away from the desk and out the door. “I’m just moving on,” she said quietly as she walked up the car that Annie, AJ, and Nick were already sitting in waiting for her.

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

“I can’t believe we are doing this,” squealed Andrea as she pulled the car into a parking spot at the boys’ hotel. “I mean, I really can’t believe we are doing this!”

“Me either,” Annie whispered as they were exiting the car. Nick and AJ opened the trunk and extracted the girls’ luggage.

“I can honestly say that I have never traveled with a woman with this little luggage before,” AJ teased as he made his way to his tour bus with Annie’s bags in hand. “I mean, two suitcases is not a whole lot for a three week road trip.”

“Yeah, well when there will be Laundromats along the way, we don’t need to pack a three week supply of clothes,” she chided back. “I am capable of doing my own laundry, unlike some people.”

“Hey, I am capable of doing my own laundry too, I just have people that are willing to do it for me,” AJ defensively responded.

“You’re mom doesn’t count,” Andrea said, laughing. Nick and Annie started laughing too.

“Good one,” Nick said pointing at AJ and laughing even harder. “But if it weren’t the truth, it wouldn’t be quite as funny!”

“Shut up Nick!” AJ yelled, slapping Nick in the head. “My mom doesn’t do my laundry….anymore,” he said, trying his hardest to stifle the laughter that was rising from his throat. She’s pretty quick with comebacks, AJ thought to himself as he carried Annie’s bags onto his bus. Nick will appreciate that.

Cute and funny, double trouble, Nick admitted to himself as he was carrying Andrea’s bags onto his bus. I think this trip to Pittsburgh is going be quite enjoyable. I just wish I knew what AJ was talking about when he said there are some things she needs to tell me. He grunted as he lifted her largest suitcase onto the bus. “Did you put weights in here or something?” he mocked as wiped the sweat that had collected on his forehead from his efforts.

“You know if it’s too heavy for you, I’m sure I can do it,” Andrea teased back. “Maybe my muscles are just bigger than yours, and that’s okay, don’t be afraid to admit that a little short girl is stronger than you!”

“Oh yeah, you think so huh?” Nick laughed as he walked over to her and motioned for her flex her arm muscles. She lifted her arm up and flexed, but instead of feeling her muscles, Nick tickled her armpits.

“Stop it or you’re going to make me.…” Andrea squealed as she tried to run away from Nick. She couldn’t finish her sentence she was laughing so hard. He chased her through the parking lot, both of them laughing. “AJ, help,” Andrea pleaded, hoping her new friend would give her a hand. Instead, AJ ran in front of Andrea, blocking her path and Nick caught up to her. AJ held her arms back as Nick tickled her sides. Andrea flailed her legs trying to get away from AJ’s grip, and she kicked Nick right in the nether regions. He reeled back in pain, and fell onto the ground moaning.

“Oh my God, are you okay? I am so sorry,” Andrea cried as she knelt down next to him. “Do you need ice or anything?”

“No, I’m fine,” Nick responded, in a high pitched girly voice. He stood up and adjusted. “It’s a good thing you kick like a girl, otherwise that could have seriously hurt!” He pulled her close to him and whispered something in her ear, and she started to giggle. She pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes, which she knew was a hazardous thing to do. She couldn’t understand effect his eyes had on her. He had whispered in her ear that she could make him feel better once they were on the bus, and she was going to tell him to dream on, but she lost her words as she stared into his eyes, and at that point, it didn’t matter what he said, she knew she would go along with him forever.

“Break it up you two,” a voice said from behind them. “We have to get on the road. Your flirting can wait until the bus is moving.” Andrea turned around quickly to see who was talking to her, and looked up. “Hi, I’m Kevin, nice to meet you,” he said as he bent down and hugged her. He then turned to Annie and hugged her. “I’m sorry about what happened earlier with the fans. We are going to post a message about it on the website. Hopefully if our fans read something straight from our mouths about how they are acting, they will shape up. Is there anything I can do for you before we get going?”

Annie was about to respond, but AJ beat her to it. “Uh, Kevin, if there is anything she needs, I will be the one to get it for her,” he boasted, grabbing Annie around the waist and pulling her to him. Annie just smiled at Kevin, and thanked him for the offer.

“Well, I guess we are the last ones to partake in this meet and greet.” Annie looked past Kevin and saw Howie, Brian, Leighanne and Baylee walking towards them.

“That’s okay though. Save the best for last as I always say,” Brian joked as he walked up to the girls. “It’s so nice to meet you, we’ve heard so much about you,” he said smiling at Annie. “Well, I should say we’ve heard so much about your head!”

“Brian, stop it,” Leighanne said in a scolding tone. “He doesn’t behave well in public,” she joked, extending her hand to Annie. “It’s nice to meet you. I am Leighanne, and this little guy is Baylee,” she said, motioning to her son. Annie bent down so she was at his level.

“Nice to meet you Baylee, I am Annie, and this is my cousin Andrea,” Annie said, pointing to Andrea. Andrea walked over and extended her hand to Baylee. He took it, and smiled up at her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Andrea said with sadness filling her heart. Her son shared the same birthday as Baylee, and it pained her to look at him. Tears filled her eyes, something AJ noticed even before Annie did. He quickly walked up to her and put his hand on her back.

“C’mon sweetie, why don’t we get you settled on Nick’s bus,” he said tenderly. She looked up at him with a questioning look in her eyes. She then gave that same questioning look to her cousin.

“I told him while you and Nick were walking. I hope you aren’t mad, but he wanted to know why we were on a road trip. I really like him, and I know you understand the accident affected me too, and it was nice to be able to talk to someone impartial to it. He promised not to tell Nick, but you have to, when you are ready,” Annie whispered in to Andrea as she stood up. “Are you upset with me?”

Andrea took a deep breath and wiped the two tears that had escaped from her eyes. “No,” was all she said to her cousin and AJ led her onto Nick’s bus. Once she and AJ were on the bus, she turned to him, “Promise me you will not say anything to Nick, even if he asks.”

AJ wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. “I promise, and if you need anything, just let me know.” She paused for a minute, consumed by his smell and the warmth of his arms. She separated herself from him so she could look him in the eyes.

“There is one thing,” she said guardedly. “I am not sure that I am ready to be alone on a tour bus, that has a big bed in the back, and a shower for that matter, with a man that I am potentially attracted too and who is potentially attracted to me,” she said part jokingly, but mostly sincerely.

“I understand,” he replied compassionately. “I’ll take care of it.” He turned to walk off the bus, and came back a minute later with Annie and Nick. “We decided that the four of us would ride on this bus together tonight, and that way we can all get to know each other a little better. I know I am not ready to be on a bus alone with this one!” He said, tilting his head toward Annie and laughing.

“Likewise,” she shot back at him with a smirk.

“Okay guys, we’re ready,” the driver said over the PA system. “Pittsburgh or bust!” The bus started moving and they were on their way.

As the four of them found a place to sit, Nick leaned over to Andrea. “Is everything okay?” he asked, his voice sounding caring and genuine. “You didn’t say much after you met Baylee.”

“I’m fine,” she answered, faking a yawn. “I’m just exhausted. It’s been a really long day.” He kissed her forehead and she laid her head on his shoulder. He didn’t notice the single tear rolling down her cheek.

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Andrea opened her eyes as she felt the bus stop moving. It was still dark on the bus and when she didn’t recognize where she was, she quickly lifted her head up to look around.

“Ouch,” she said softly, rubbing her neck. She had fallen asleep with her head on Nick’s shoulder, causing her neck to be at an awkward angle. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she looked down at the floor and saw Annie and AJ lying next to each other, each covered up with a separate blanket. She was afraid to look over at Nick and see if he was still sleeping, but she didn’t know why. What is it about him that I can’t control? It’s been so long since I’ve been nervous about being next to, or talking to, or even thinking about a man.

She was about to get up when she realized Nick’s arm was wrapped around her. She tried to stand up, but his arm was too heavy for her to move. She thought she could slide out from underneath it, so she scooted down on the couch and turned her body around so that her stomach was towards the couch and her butt was up in the air. His arm was now lying across her upper back and she turned her upper body towards Nick, thinking she could just slip out from under it. Instead his fingers got caught in her curls as she was trying to pull her head out, and the result was her face in Nick’s lap and his hand on her head, stuck in her hair, with her butt sticking up in the air.

This is awkward, she thought to herself, trying to figure out a way to explain herself when he and the others woke up. “Only me, this would only happen to me,” she said under her breath as she heard Annie snickering from behind her.

“What in the hell are you doing?” Annie asked, as her snicker turned into a full-blown laugh.

“I’m stuck, and maybe instead of laughing at me, you could help me!” Andrea stammered back at her, with desperation in her voice. She then heard another laugh join her cousin’s, and knew AJ was awake. “Shut up, do not say a word,” she directed at him. “This is not what it looks like!”

“It never is,” he said, getting up to help untangle her hair from Nick’s hand.

“I knew it would come to this, I knew if I was patient, she would come to me,” Nick said groggily, awakening from his sleep from all the commotion. AJ and Annie busted out laughing louder this time, gasping for air between squeals. They didn’t hear the bus door open and footsteps approaching.

“Wow, this isn’t something you walk onto a bus and see everyday,” Brian chuckled from behind them.

“Mother of God, how many more people can share in my embarrassment?” Andrea asked, exasperated. “This isn’t funny! Will someone please get my hair untangled from his fingers so I can go into another room and die, PLEASE!”

The bus erupted with laughter. It was five minutes later before Andrea was free because no one could stop laughing enough to untangle her. She stood up, her cheeks blazing with redness. Nick stood up with her, and as she was turning to walk into the bathroom, he grabbed her by the arm gently and leaned into her ear.

“I could wake up like that every morning with you,” he whispered, giving her the sexiest smile she had ever seen. Then he bent down and kissed her. It was a quick, gentle kiss, but it meant more to her than he knew.

“Only time will tell,” she said to him furtively as she turned away and walked into the bathroom.

 

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It was just after five o’clock in the morning when the bus pulled into the parking lot of the boys’ hotel. Brian had gotten off his bus and walked onto Nick’s to let them know they were here and give them the run down for the day. Once he had filled them in, he walked off the bus and up to the hotel room, where his wife and son were waiting for him.

“Oh my gosh Leigh, you are never gonna guess what just happened!” he stated enthusiastically as he walked into the room and shut the door behind him. “It was the funniest thing, well one of the funniest anyway,” he concluded, remembering back to all the crazy things that happened during past tours.

“Well are you going to tell me or are you going to stand there with that funny look on your face all day?” she asked, smiling at her husband.

“I walked onto Nick’s bus, and Andrea was face down in his lap. Apparently, she tried to scoot out from under his arm and his fingers ended up getting tangled in her hair and she couldn’t move.” He paused, looking for some reaction from his wife, but got nothing. “I guess you had to be there,” he said sheepishly. He lay down on the bed with her, ready to get some shuteye before they had to get up and get ready.

“Brian?”

“What baby?”

“There’s something about that girl, Andrea, that doesn’t feel right. Did you see the way she acted when she met Baylee? How can she not like kids? She just looked at him like he was from outer space or something! Are you sure Nick isn’t stepping into something he shouldn’t? I mean, has anyone checked this girl out?” Leigh kept on with the questions, and Brian finally interrupted her.

“Honey, I’m sure it’ll be alright,” he sighed, sleepiness beginning to overtake him. “And I don’t think she was looking at Baylee in an odd way. It almost looked like she was sad to see him. But I didn’t get the vibe that she doesn’t like kids, quite the opposite actually. Can we get some sleep now though, because I have a show to do in like fourteen hours and I need to be rested!”

“Sure baby, I’m sorry,” she pouted, as she snuggled against Brian. “I love you.”

“I love you too….” He trailed off, and all Leighanne heard was snoring.

Back on Nick’s bus…

“Alright guys, here’s the deal. We have two hotel rooms reserved, one for me and one for Nick,” AJ said, getting everybody’s attention. “I already checked into getting you girls your own room, but the hotel is booked, so we have two choices. One-Annie and I can share a room, which is personally my favorite option,” he said seductively, giving Annie a sexy look. “Or Two-Nick and I can share a room…ugh…and the two of you can share a room.”

“Or, the girls and I can share a room together and you can have a room by yourself,” Nick laughed, raising his eyebrows up and down at Andrea and Annie.

“Okay, well last time I checked the map we were not in Arkansas, so therefore you with cousins is out!” Andrea snickered back, as she pushed Nick in the arm. “And I need to know if these rooms have one bed or two in them before I can make my decision.”

“Yeah, that is really important,” Annie interjected, “because if there is only one bed….” She looked over at AJ trying to make him think she wouldn’t share a room with him unless she had her own bed. “I refuse to share a room with Andrea. I am not sleeping in the same bed as the octopus!” Andrea started laughing, and Nick and AJ gave each other confused looks. “I call Andrea the octopus, because when she sleeps, she’s got arms and legs and hands and feet all over the place, so it seems like she has more than two of each!” Annie explained laughing.

“That’s too funny,” said Nick as he put his arm around Andrea. “I think I can handle the octopus though, if it’s okay with her,” he teased as he squeezed Andrea around the waist.

“Okay you two there will be plenty of time for that later. The rooms are suites with one king size bed in the main bedroom and a pullout couch in the living room area. So unless you have coed sleeping issues that prevent you from being the same room as someone from the opposite sex, you won’t have to sleep in the same bed no matter what,” AJ clarified, with a hint of crabbiness in his voice.

“Oh, poor poompsy is tired and getting cranky,” Annie mocked as she kissed AJ on the tip of his nose. “C’mon rock star, let’s get a room.” She grabbed AJ’s hand and started to lead him off the bus. She looked back at Andrea, blew her a kiss, and then she walked off the bus with AJ right behind her.

“You know, I can just sleep on the bus and you can have the room to yourself,” Nick offered, trying to sound as innocent as possible. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.” He actually meant it.

Andrea thought for a moment. It’s not an uncomfortable feeling I have; it’s a “can I control myself in a room alone with you?” feeling. “No, it’s okay. Like Alex said, there is no reason why we would even have to sleep in the same bed…. unless we want to,” she added, just to make sure she didn’t shut out any possibility of it in his mind, or hers for that matter.

“Okay then, let’s get our stuff and get up to the room, I’m beat. I can’t wait to take a shower and crawl into a nice fluffy bed; sleeping on the couch in a sitting position was not the wisest or most comfortable thing to do,” he joked as he slung some bags over his shoulder. I can’t wait to see what happens when I get this girl alone either. I want a chance to talk to her alone some more, find out more about her, and tell her more about myself. There is so much more to me than people know. They think they know everything because I’m famous, but they don’t.

Andrea grabbed her things and walked off the bus in front of Nick. God, she has a sexy walk. She switches her hips and wiggles her butt a little with every step. I just want to grab…

“Okay, the next time you are going to check out a girl’s butt, maybe don’t make it so obvious,” Andrea scolded, interrupting his thoughts. She gave him a smirk, showing him she was teasing.

“Well, I’ll try to be more discreet next time, but with that shake you got going on, it’s mighty hard not to stare,” he teased back. If all girls had curves like hers, the men of the world would be mighty happy! He reflected as they approached the entrance of the hotel. They stepped onto the elevator and pressed their floor number on the keypad.

“I am really surprised there were no fans waiting here for you,” Andrea said as the elevator began to move.

“Yeah, usually when we get in this early there isn’t. Just wait until we arrive at a hotel at ten in the morning, you’ll be singing a different tune then!” he joked.

“Are you planning on me being with you for another hotel arrival?” Andrea asked nonchalantly. She so badly wanted him to say yes, but she did not want to seem over-ambitious or expectant. The elevator dinged and they stepped through the open door and into the hallway that led to their room.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Nick relinquished. “Is that okay?” uncertainty filling his voice.

“Yes, it is; in fact, it’s very okay,” Andrea said quietly and looked down at her feet. “I just hope I am ready.” She didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“What do you mean?” Nick questioned, his curiosity peaked.

“Oh, umm, nothing. Is this our room?” Andrea stammered, hoping she could just brush off what she said and he wouldn’t think twice about it.

“Okay mystery lady, I’ll let it go for now,” Nick said as he put the key into the door and opened it. “But at some point you are going to have to let me in a little, and when you are ready, I’ll be waiting.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

She looked into his eyes and saw a gentle and understanding look in them. I want nothing more than to explain everything to you. To have you hold me and comfort me, to have you wipe away my tears and tell me you will always be here for me. I want you to do everything my husband did when I needed someone.

They walked into the room and shut the door. Andrea took a deep breath and set her bags down on the floor. “Eight months-too long or too short?” she said under her breath as she took out her toiletries and clean clothes from her suitcase. “I guess we’ll find out….”

 

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“Wow Alex, this is a nice room,” Annie said heavily as she looked around the suite. “Do you bring all your roadies and groupies here?” she teased as she set her bags down.

“Not all, just the ones I want to get to know better,” he said seductively as he walked towards her. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into him. He leaned into her, brushing his lips against hers, looking for a signal to do more. She sighed a little, and he knew he was making her nervous, an upper hand he liked to have. He moved his lips away from hers and to her ear, breathing heavily while doing so. “Am I making you nervous?” he hissed into her ear. He felt her shifting against him, trying to calm herself.

“No, umm, well, ye…no, why?” she stammered, trying to get her composure. Why is he doing this to me? She frantically thought to herself. I have been with enough guys to know all the tricks, and I’ve never let a man affect me this way. She continued thinking to herself instead of talking to him, and he knew she was trying to retain her self-control. He started to kiss her neck gently; letting his lips just graze her milky white skin, allowing his hot breath to pound on her. “D*mn,” she said moaned aloud, not meaning to.

AJ pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. They were a brilliant shade of green, similar to her cousin’s, but lighter. There were many things about Annie that were similar to her cousin, but nothing really exactly the same. Annie’s hair was naturally the same color as Andrea’s, but she dyed it a mesmerizing shade of reddish brown. Her hair was just a touch shorter than Andrea’s, but instead of curls, there were little crimps and waves, just enough to keep it from being stick straight. While Andrea was short, just over 5’, Annie was very tall, about 5’10”, but like her cousin, she had curves that should have come with warning labels.

“If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to,” AJ said, in awe that he was actually saying those words to a woman he wanted to have so badly. He sincerely meant it, he did not want to push her into anything, but he hoped with all his might that she wouldn’t say no. There was something different about this girl, and he knew it.

“No, that’s the thing, that’s why this is so hard,” she said, trying to turn away from AJ. He grabbed her arm, not allowing her to. “I want to do this so badly, but I don’t know if it’s for the right reasons. I don’t know if I’m doing it to fill a void, or because I know this, us, can’t go anywhere serious, or because you’re you, or because….” AJ pressed his lips against hers so tightly she couldn’t finish her sentence. She was so unsure of what was happening, so she did all she could at that moment; she kissed him back, parting her lips and allowing his tongue to enter her mouth.

They kissed passionately, barely taking the time to come up for air. Annie moved her hands down his back and around to his front, unbuttoning his shirt as they kissed. She threw his shirt off his shoulders and felt it fall to the floor. She moved her target to his belt buckle and un-hooked it with one easy swipe. She unbuttoned his pants and he let them fall down his legs and onto the floor. Her final move was eliminate his boxer shorts, which was not much of a challenge she found out, because he had done it for her.

She ran her fingers down his back and onto his ass. It felt tight and firm under her hands. She heard him moan as she moved her contact point around to his growing member.

“Nice,” she said, giggling, knowing she now had the upper hand.

“Yeah, but now that you’ve seen mine, I get to see yours,” he groaned as he lifted her shirt over her head. “I love it when they succumb to my powers,” he joked, as he ran his hands over her bare breasts. He moved down her body, letting his fingers trickle down her breasts, to her ribs, and down her stomach. When he reached her fastened pants, he quickly undid them and she wiggled her hips and eased her way out of them. “Wow, it’s my lucky day,” he said noticing she didn’t have anything on under her pants. “No bra and no panties, that’s my kind of girl.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you’ll find a lot of reasons why I’m your kind of girl,” she said seductively and she pushed him onto the bed. It was almost and hour and a half later when they lay down next to each other, catching their breath and dripping with sweat. Neither of them said a word, AJ just held Annie in his arms as they drifted off to sleep.

 

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

“Do you want to take a shower first?” Andrea asked as she grabbed the rest of her clothes and toiletries from her suitcase. “I just want to set this stuff down in the bathroom, but then it’s all yours if you want…”

“No, it’s okay, you can go first. I have some calls to make and some stuff to do anyway, so this will give me a chance to do them,” Nick replied, wishing so badly he could just jump in the shower with her. He imagined her body all slick and shiny, water droplets running down her bare breasts. He quickly turned away from Andrea, trying to hide the sexual thoughts accumulating in his head, and the expansion of things in his nether regions as well.

“Okay,” she said, confused by the way he was acting. Why is he avoiding me? What have I done wrong? She turned to walk into the bathroom, but stopped. She opened her mouth to speak, but as she turned around to talk to him, she saw he was on the phone already. She silently walked into the bathroom and shut the door, double-checking to make sure the door was not locked. I’m not going to make the first move, but I’m not going to make it impossible for him to, she thought slyly to herself as she undressed and turned the shower on.

Once Nick heard the shower running he let out a sigh and set his phone down on the table. He hadn’t been talking to anybody; he just wanted it to look like he was. He didn’t want Andrea to ask him what was wrong because he didn’t want to have to lie to her. He couldn’t tell her that he was thinking about her naked body, dripping wet in the shower or how badly he wanted to make love to her. If she wasn’t ready to tell him what AJ said she needs to tell him, then they definitely weren’t ready to be intimate, but knowing that couldn’t stop the feelings he had for her, and he knew it.

Nick was so deep in thought that he did not hear the shower turn off or the door to the bathroom open. He did however hear the thud and the swear words that followed, bringing him back reality.

“Mother F-er!” Andrea screamed as she hopped around on one foot, holding her other foot in one hand and trying desperately to keep her towel up with the other. She saw Nick staring at her with an inquisitive expression on his face. “My glasses were all fogged up from the steam and I couldn’t see where I was going, and I stubbed my toe on this,” she said, pointing to the nightstand, her voice emphasizing the pain she was experiencing in her foot. She had not stopped holding her foot yet. “Ah!” she screamed as she lost her balance, but luckily she landed on the bed.

Nick had started to run to her as she was falling, and he jumped onto the bed to catch her as she fell onto it. “Are you okay?” he asked sweetly.

“No, it hurts,” she pouted cutely. “Does it look broken?” she asked, lifting her foot up for Nick to see. He grabbed her foot and kissed her sore toe.

“Does it feel better now?” Andrea shook her head no. “Now?” he asked, kissing it again. She just smiled at him and shrugged her shoulders, enjoying what he was doing. He could not prevent himself from moving his gaze from her foot up her leg, to her thighs. He continued his visual exploration up her body to her stomach, but he stopped when he got to her chest. The towel had fallen down when Andrea fell onto the bed and part of her right breast was exposed.

I must be in hell, he thought to himself, because temptation like this is not earthly. He took a deep breath and against his better judgment, ran his finger across her soft exposed flesh. God, I want her so badly, he frantically thought. He was not going to let this chance pass him by, so until she stopped him, he was going to go with it. He pressed his body onto hers and brought his lips to hers. He did not hesitate and kissed her desirously.

Andrea was about to succumb to him; she wanted to so zealously. It isn’t right, she told herself, fighting the overwhelming temptation she was feeling. How can I have sex with him when I can’t even tell him my husband and kids were killed in a car accident? How can I expect him to put all his trust in me through intimacy when I can’t put my trust him through comfort and understanding? “WHAT AM I THINKING?” she screamed out loud. Nick reeled back, shocked at her outburst.

“What the hell…” he started, but she cut him off.

“Nick, I’m sorry,” she pleaded. “There are some things about me that you don’t know, and it would not be right to do this.” Tears filled her eyes, not wanting to hurt Nick, but also not wanting to hurt herself. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she wept as scrambled off the bed and ran into the bathroom and closed the door. This time, she made sure it was locked.

 

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Nick didn’t know what to do, but judging by the way Andrea was acting, whatever she had to tell him was pretty serious. He tried to stay calm, remembering what AJ told him about her not being a psycho and that it’s not something he shouldn’t be scared of, but he had a hard time believing that. Here she was, the woman he felt he was falling in love with, which for him was not something that happened this quickly, and she didn’t even trust him enough to let him into her life.

You’ve only known her for less than a day Nick, give her time, he convinced himself, trying not to think the worst. What do I do? Do I go after her? Do I leave and let her be by herself? After much deliberation and uncertainty, he did the only thing he could, he called the one person who could help him and help Andrea.

“Hello,” a groggy voice answered the phone.

“It’s me, I need your help. Andrea and I started getting close and then she freaked out! I don’t know what to do,” he screeched into the phone, knowing that he sounded hysterical but not caring in the least.

“Calm down, we’ll be right there,” a reassuring voice said on the other end, and then the line went dead. Nick paced back and forth until he heard a knock at the door. He ran to it and flung it open so fast, it almost sucked Annie and AJ right into the room with it.

“Where is she?” Annie asked, as she gave Nick a hug. He pointed to the closed bathroom door. “It’s okay Nick. I know you don’t think so, but you have to trust me. It will be okay.” Annie knocked on the bathroom door. “Andi, it’s me, can I come in?” They all heard the click of the door being unlocked and Annie knew that was her cue to go in. “Trust me,” she said one last time to Nick, and then she turned and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

“AJ, you said this is nothing to be scared about, but she scared me shitless!” Nick exclaimed as they walked away from the bathroom to give the girls some added privacy. “I don’t even know what I did! I have never kissed a girl and had her freak out before!” Nick was visibly shaken up, and AJ was glad Nick had called him.

“What happened?” AJ asked, trying to get his friend to calm down. “You said you kissed her, but how did that come about?”

“She came out of the bathroom in a towel to get a pair of underwear, and she stubbed her toe on the nightstand. She fell onto the bed and I caught her, and her towel came down when she fell and part of her ta-ta was showing. So I made my move, and she didn’t pull back, so I kissed her and then she flipped out!”

“Okay, wait, her ‘ta-ta’? What are we, in the second grade?” AJ joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Shut up man, I didn’t know what else to say!” Nick punched AJ in the arm, and AJ punched him back. “Okay, her breast, is that better? Now will you stop focusing on my choice of words and help me!”

“Here’s thing, and I’m only telling you this so that you understand a little bit about why she acted the way she acted. You are the first guy she’s been close to in almost a year.”

“What?” Nick interrupted him. “So what? Why would that make her freak out? Wouldn’t that make her want to do it that much more?”

“It does,” a meager voice said from behind him. “I want to be with you just as badly as you want to be with me, but it’s getting to a place where I don’t feel like I am betraying the man I loved that’s the hard part.” Nick turned around and saw Andrea standing there, her eyes red and swollen, her arms folded across her chest. Annie was standing next to her with her arm around her best friend’s shoulder, rubbing it as if to comfort her.

“Oh baby, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Nick said compassionately as he walked over and wrapped Andrea in his arms.

“You don’t have to apologize, but I should. It was not fair of me to do this, to come here with you, and flirt with you, and let you flirt with me when it wasn’t something I was sure I really wanted. I have feelings for you, very strong feelings, which is kind of daunting for only knowing you less than a day, but I was not able to surrender to those feelings without feeling like a betrayer.”

Nick looked into her eyes deeply, trying to make sense of what she was saying. “Betrayer huh? So you have a boyfriend?”

“No,” Andrea interjected, knowing he was not understanding where she was going with her statement.

“Or worse then, a husband? Yeah, that would make you a betrayer. I can’t believe you would lie to me!” Nick started yelling, his face getting red. “Why are all the girls I like, or in this case love, two-timing hookers? Why, just once, can’t I find someone who I love that loves me back and doesn’t hurt me?” Andrea just stared at him, tears running down her already soaked face.

“Nick, that’s enough!” AJ snarled, getting between Andrea and Nick and pushing Nick in the chest backwards. “She doesn’t have a husband, she HAD a husband, and he’s dead! So are her kids, you tactless asshole!”

Annie ran up to AJ and pulled him back. He looked like he was about to punch Nick in the face, but there was no way Nick could have known where Andrea was going when she was talking, and she didn’t blame him for reacting the way he did.

“What?” Nick whispered, barely able to speak. He stumbled over to Andrea, who was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. “What happened?” he managed to squeak out, as he himself started to cry. He was so ashamed of the way he had reacted and the horrible things he had said. He knew he would do whatever he could to make it up to her though.

Andrea looked up into his moist blue eyes. His eyes, that before had caused her to freeze, caused her to be unable to think or speak, unable to do anything but be pulled in like a weathered ship with no sails, now gave her strength and focus. “Car accident,” was all she said. Annie walked up to Andrea and handed her a box of tissues.

“Why don’t you guys sit down and talk. AJ and I are going to go get some food and bring it back here. We can help with anything you need when we get back,” Annie offered. Andrea gave her cousin a hug, then turned to AJ. He looked horrible.

“Andrea, I’m sor….” She put her finger to his lips to stop him.

“I’m not,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek. “Go get some food and we’ll talk more when you get back.” Andrea watched Annie and Alex walk out the door. She turned around and walked over the couch where Nick had already sat down. She knew he was waiting for an explanation, and she was finally ready to give it.

 

 

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

“It was Thanksgiving, and a huge snow storm had come through earlier in the day. Even though the heaviest was over, it was still snowing and the roads were very slippery and hazardous to drive on. Annie and I were out of town on business for our company, and Michael and our two kids were coming to see us and celebrate the holiday with us,” Andrea explained, taking a deep breath. “A semi jack-knifed in the road and my husband did not have time to stop or avoid it. He slammed right into it, and then three more cars ran into him. My husband and my son were killed instantly, and my daughter made it to the hospital before she died. Five other people were killed too.”

Andrea stopped talking and looked down at her hands, allowing the tissue she was holding to distract her. She felt Nick staring at her, but he didn’t say anything.

“I loved him more than I ever thought it was possible to love, and that’s why it feels so strange to have feelings for you. I feel like if I move on with my life, then I’m disregarding everything Michael and I shared. He was my home, my kids were my home, and now all of that is gone and I feel like I’m homeless,” she said sadly, looking into eyes.

Nick had no idea how she felt; he had no comprehension of her grief or desolation. What could he possibly say to comfort her? Selfishly though, he had more questions he wanted answers to. He didn’t want to seem uncaring, quite the opposite, he wanted to know as much as he could so he could try and understand her pain. “How old were they?” he asked gently, referring to her children.

“My son was the same age as Baylee. I think Leighanne and I were in labor at the same time actually, as weird as that sounds. My daughter was three months old,” she explained, tears filling her eyes. She walked over to her purse and took out her wallet. She pulled out a picture and carried it over to the couch. “This was our last family picture, it was going to be sent in our Christmas cards that year,” she told him as she handed him the picture. “We had it taken a week before the accident. I got them in the mail four weeks after the accident, and I was devastated.”

Nick looked at the picture, many different emotions flowing through him. “You were a beautiful family,” he said tenderly, wondering if he could make her as happy as she looked in that picture. He handed the picture back to, afraid to look her in the eyes. She noticed his evasiveness.

“Nick, what are you thinking? I know this is a lot to hear, and I’m sure I overwhelmed you. But please, I just shared all that with you, don’t hide anything from me,” she begged, hoping that she did not scare him off.

“I want to be your home,” he said quietly. She wasn’t sure if she heard him right.

“What?” she asked quietly, hoping she had heard him right.

“I want to be your home,” he said again, louder this time. “I don’t want you to be homeless. I want you to be with me, and I want to make you happy, and I want to give you all the things you had before and all the things you wanted and didn’t get, I want to be with you.” He rambled on and on. “I don’t know if I can make you happy, because you were clearly very happy before, but I want the chance to try.” He took her hands in his and looked into her green eyes. “Please, let me be your road back home.”

Andrea sat there, with an astonished look on her face, and for one of the only times in her entire life, she was speechless. The look on his face was more than she could imagine, she saw genuine sincerity and love, and his eyes were overflowing with compassion and deep, meaningful emotions even he could not explain. He wiped away the tear that was rolling down her cheek, and with his hand still on her face; he leaned in and kissed her. She did not pull away, and she did not stop him.

 

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Alex and Annie walked over the restaurant next to the hotel to get some takeout. They made it through the lobby and outside without being seen by the hundreds of fans that were milling around the hotel. There were also fans outside the hotel as well, but they used a side door and without bodyguards, they looked just like two people staying at the hotel.

“How do they find you?” Annie asked, breathing easy as they passed the last group of fans standing outside.

“I’m not sure, but I think the big tour buses in the parking lot give them some indication,” he teased. “Honestly though, I think they just drive around from hotel to hotel until they see the buses, and then they call their friends, and their friends call their friends and so on and so on.”

“That actually sounds like something Andrea and I would have done when we were sixteen,” she admitted, smiling as she remembered the first concert they went to in Milwaukee during the summer of 1998. She and Andrea were not that different from most of the fans the boys had, but they have calmed down a bit over the years, as maturity would tend to cause someone to do. AJ grabbed Annie’s hand and entwined his fingers in hers as they walked through the doors into the restaurant.

“I’m glad you found me,” he said sweetly, grabbing a couple menus for them to peruse. She smiled back at him, thinking to herself that she was glad she found him too.

Since AJ knew what Nick liked to eat and Annie knew what Andrea liked to eat, the decision on what to order was not a very complex one. They decided on Buffalo wings, a cheese quesadilla, four personal pizzas with each person’s own favorite toppings, side salads, and some soda.

“It’s going to be about twenty to thirty minutes; do you want to wait or have it delivered to your room?” the server asked.

“We’ll wait,” AJ answered after getting a nod of approval from Annie. They walked over to the lounge area and grabbed a private booth. They each ordered a drink while they waited and immersed themselves in each other’s company and conversation.

“Tell me more about what makes you ‘Annie’,” AJ prodded. “What is your favorite color, your birthday, your….shoe size?”

“My shoe size?” she asked, laughing. “Are you planning on buying me shoes?”

“You know what they say, ‘big feet….”

“Yeah, I know what they say,” she said cutting him off. “And they are right, I found that out earlier,” she said quietly, referring back to the sexual interlude they had prior that morning.

“I think I may love you!” AJ exclaimed jokingly as he kissed her on the forehead. The scary thing is, I think I really do, he told himself. The best part would be though if I love someone that actually loves me back.

“I think I love you too,” Annie responded, not so jokingly. She looked down at her hands, unsure if she should have disclosed that to him or not. Alex took his hand and lifted her chin up with it so that her eyes met his. She gazed into his deep beautiful brown eyes and melted just like butter being poured over popcorn at a movie theater. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, very quickly but very sensually.

“Good,” was his only response. He continued to ask her questions and she continued to answer them; favorite color: blue, birthday: August 12, shoe size: 10, pets: three dogs, four cats, two horses, favorite food: Indian cuisine, coffee: black with sugar, eggs: scrambled, and other various inquiries that are associated with getting to know someone.

When a brief pause came during the third degree he was giving her, she sat contemplating a question that had risen in her mind but she was hesitant to ask. After some internal deliberation, she decided in favor of it. “Alex, don’t you think it’s odd that we have already boned before we knew any of this about each other?” She looked up at him after asking the question, and was relieved to see the look on his face that showed he felt the same way.

“I was thinking that same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have had ‘sex with no information’ quite a few times in the past, but that’s not what I am about anymore. I want something real, and meaningful, and..” he paused, taking a deep breath. He took Annie’s hands in his once more and finished his sentence, “permanent.” He looked at Annie, hoping to catch a sign, something, that would illustrate she felt the same, or at least felt okay with what he had said.

Annie sat there for a moment, wanting to respond, but uncertain of what to actually say. She so much wanted that too, she wanted to find love, true love, that would stop when she was out of town, or when she got sick, or when she was having a bad hair day. She wanted a long-lasting, unconditional, deep, passionate love, the kind of love that Andrea and Michael had. She wanted to be happy like they had been. She looked up at AJ and into “those” eyes once more. “I want that too,” she said. “But I don’t want you to think for one minute that I regret what we did, or that I am trying discount it or lessen what it meant for me. I just don’t want that to be the end, you know?”

“Okay guys, your order is ready,” the server said, walking up to their booth with a bag of food in each hand. They looked at each, the trance they had been in was broken, and they knew they would have to wait to finish their conversation. They walked back to the hotel hand in hand, both with an optimism that wasn’t there on the walk to the restaurant, both of them encompassing the excitement and anticipation of things to come.

 

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

“Hello?” Nick said as he answered the phone in his room.

“Hey bro, it’s Kevin. Do you guys want to get an order of food with us? We are sending one of the roadies next door to get some.”

“Oh, hey Kevin. Actually Annie and AJ went next door to get some food for all of us, they should be back any minute,” Nick responded, feeling bad that they didn’t offer to get the rest of the guys anything when they went over there.

“They went by themselves?” Kevin asked, getting very nervous. “Do you realize there are about four hundred girls running around all over the hotel trying to get a glimpse of us? How do you know they even made it over there without getting mauled, or without another fan attacking Annie?”

“I looked out the window and saw them walking out of the restaurant with bags of food in their hands, that’s how,” Nick responded sarcastically. “Calm down dude, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“I just don’t want another incident like yesterday. That wasn’t cool.”

“I know, neither do I, but they are okay. Can I let you go? We are actually in the middle of something right now.”

“Oh, really? I am not going to ask. I’ll talk to you later; remember to be on the bus by 3:00, okay?”

“Yeah Dad, I’ll remember,” Nick joked. He always called Kev that, mainly because that’s how Kevin always acted. “Later.”

“Bye.” As soon as Nick hung up the phone Annie and AJ walked into the room.

“Who was that?” AJ asked, making sure he didn’t miss any official BSB business.

“That was Kev, he wanted to know if we wanted some food,” Nick replied, looking inside the bags that Annie and AJ had set down on the table. “What’d ya get me?”

“Something that’s not on your diet,” AJ chided. “But I didn’t think you would really mind!”

“Yeah, as long as it’s pizza I don’t!” He pulled out the single serve pizza boxes, opening each one until he found the one with his favorite toppings. “Thanks guys for getting the food.”

“No problem,” Annie replied, looking over at her cousin who was sitting on the couch. “How did it go?” Annie asked quietly.

“As well as can be expected,” Nick replied, he too looking over at Andrea. “I think she is just trying to let everything sink in. Give her a few minutes.” Because I know I am still trying to let it all sink in too, he thought to himself.

“And you? How are you doing with everything?” Alex asked as he grabbed his pizza and soda. “It was a lot to take in, huh?” Nick just nodded his head. He took the picture of Andrea and her family off the table and showed it to AJ.

“This was taken a week before they were killed. How am I supposed to compare to that?” he asked sadly, feeling very insecure about his future with Andrea.

“Nick, you can’t do that,” Annie said, jumping into the conversation. “What you and Andrea have will be different than what she had with Michael, and not in a bad way. People become widows and widowers every day, and they fall in love and get married again, but they don’t love their new spouse any less, just different. It wouldn’t be any different if she were divorced, would it?”

Nick thought for a moment, yes it would, because they don’t want to be together anymore, she would still be with her husband if he hadn’t died he said to himself, but out loud he said, “It would still have its problems, but we would deal with it, just like we will deal with this. I just don’t want to get sloppy seconds, you know?” He realized after he said that how insensitive it sounded, but luckily Annie and Alex knew what he meant.

“Bro, it will be okay,” was all AJ could say. Andrea had gotten up from the couch and walked over to them. She picked up the container of Buffalo wings and the ranch to dip them in and sat down at the table. Her face was red and streaked with tear stains, and her eyes were swollen and puffy. She looked absolutely exhausted emotionally and physically, efficiently and accurately illustrating the way she felt.

“Are you okay with telling him?” Annie asked, leaning closer to her cousin. “I’m sure this isn’t how you pictured telling him.”

“I am okay with it, and surprisingly I was ready to tell him. I’m glad that AJ broke the ice so to speak, it made it easier. I feel better that’s its out,” she said, giving her cousin a slight smile. It was the closure I needed to move on, she admitted to herself. And I think Nick is the right direction to move in.

 

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

After she finished eating, Andrea went into the bathroom to wash her face, put some makeup on and make herself look a little more presentable, knowing she would feel much better. Once she was finished, she took a final look in the mirror, and nodding in approving of what she saw, she opened the door to exit the bathroom.

“Oh my God, you scared the crap out of me!” she screamed as she opened the door and ran into Nick who was standing in the doorway.

“Sorry,” he said chuckling. “I just wanted to talk to you alone for a minute.” He was getting very astute as to how to read her, and he looked intensely into her eyes, hoping to read her yet again. If I am going to pursue this, I need something, a signal, anything from her to encourage me to move forward, he told himself, hoping he would get it, but nervous that he wouldn’t. He didn’t want the rest of the day and trip back to Cincinnati to be the last of the time they would spend together. “Thank you for telling me about your husband and children,” he started, watching her eyes very closely. “You put yourself out there today, for me, and it means so much to me that I was the person you chose to confide in. It is not easy to throw yourself to the wolves, so to speak, especially when you are afraid you will be eaten by them. I know that you must feel something for me to come here with me, and to allow yourself to feel such raw emotions in my presence."

He stopped for a minute, catching his breath and digging deep within himself for the courage to continue. "I am in love with everything I know about you. Your curls, your lips, your smile, your eyes, the way your ears point slightly at the top like an elf's ears, the way you tuck your hair behind those ears when you are nervous, and the five different laughs you have. I want the time to find all sorts of other things to fall in love with. I do not want this to be the end of us; I don't want to take you back to Cincy and have you walk off my bus and out of my life; to go back to being nothing more than a fan. I don't want to only see you from a distant in the crowd, and I don't think you want that either. You are everything I want and nothing I deserve at the same time."

He stopped again, this time taking her hands into his and holding them ever so softly, rubbing his thumbs over her skin. He moved his head closer to hers, as if his eyes being physically closer to hers would allow him to see into her soul that much better. He looked and looked, watching, waiting. He was not going to let this pass him by, if it was there, he was going to see it.

“Oh Nick,” she said so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her. And then, not knowing if it was intuition or clairvoyance that helped him, he saw it. Her eyes flickered as she said his name so tenderly, and he instantaneously knew she loved him. She could not hide it, not even if she tried with all her being, he knew it, and she knew it. She also knew she had just given away the last secret within her to him.

 

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Andrea had not felt so giddy or juvenile in almost ten years. She had forgotten what it felt like to crush on someone, to experience the excitement of the unknown and the nervousness of trying to catch and keep a new love. Just standing that close to Nick, knowing that their secret was out and undeniable made her palms start to sweat. Butterflies danced around inside her stomach, a tickle rose in her throat. What have I gotten myself into this time? She inwardly joked, knowing things would never be the same for her again. She needed to get some air, collect her thoughts. She needed to get away from everyone for a little while.

“Will you excuse me for a minute?” Andrea asked, looking at Nick. “I just need to step outside. I will be right back.”

“Do you want me to come with? Are you okay?” he asked, concerned that he had done something wrong.

“It’s not you,” she whispered into his ear, knowing that he was thinking he did something. “I just need a minute to collect my thoughts, if you know what I mean.” He nodded his head and she slipped by him and out the door. She walked down the hall, down the stairs and outside onto the private terrace that was secluded from the rest of the world, and all the fans. She stood there by herself, the sunshine bearing down on her, warming her soul and allowing perspective to flow freely into her mind.

Things are never going to be the same again….again, she thought, continuing her internal monologue. She had used that phrase too many times over the past year. This time last year, she had given birth to her baby girl, and as she lay in her hospital bed holding her baby in her arms she had whispered that phrase. As things really picked up with the company a few months after she had the baby and they took the company nationwide she had uttered that phrase. After the funerals, when she was sitting in the oversized chair in her parents’ living room, she had cried that phrase.

Andrea thought she would start to cry, remembering back to the day of the funerals, remembering exactly how her heart ached for the man she loved, the man she knew was gone forever, but she didn’t. That ache had stayed with her everyday for the past eight months; making her wonder if it would ever go away. She sucked her breath in and held it, realizing what was happening. As she stood there thinking about her late husband the ache was not there. She looked up into the sky, something that most people do when talking to God or someone they believe to be in Heaven. Why, she was unsure, but she did it anyway. She stood there for a moment, reverence and prayer taking her over. Then she felt it, as if her husband were standing right there with her, pushing her forward with her life.

“Andrea, I know you don’t want to talk about this, but we need to tell each other our wishes if something should happen to one of us.”
“I know Michael, but I don’t like talking about what you want if you die. It’s so morbid and sad. You’re never going to leave me; we are going to be together forever, so why do we need to talk about it?”
“I want that to be the case too Monkey, but you can’t be so naïve. I want you to know that if I am taken from you, I want you to move on. I know that you will miss me, but I do not want you to feel like you are betraying me or disrespecting me by finding someone else. I know that if you died, you would want me to be happy, to find someone that will be a good mother to our kids, someone that will take of me the way you had wanted to, and I want that same thing for you.”
“Yeah, but she can’t be as pretty as me!”
“I don’t think I could find anybody prettier than you Monkey.”
“Do you really want me to fall in love with someone else?”
“If you want to, then yes, I want you to. I don’t want you to be lonely the rest of your life if I’m not there just because you have doubts about how I feel about it. Your happiness is all I’ve ever cared about, and that’s all I will care about after I’m gone.”

She closed her eyes and meditated for a moment. They had that conversation six months before he had been killed. She never wanted to talk about stuff like that. She was very glad they did have talks like that though, it made planning his funeral that much easier. She knew what he wanted and she could at least give him that. Now she was at another crossroads with his wishes. She knew what he wanted again, but could she do it.

After a few minutes she opened her eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the change in brightness. She looked back up into the blue sky and smiled. “Thank you,” she said whispered. “I will never forget about you, but I will find love and happiness again, they way you want me to. I will make you proud of me.”

A single tear rolled out of each eye, but she quickly wiped them away. She sat outside for a few more minutes, contemplating her relationship with Nick, or the relationship she hoped she and Nick would have. How long do I wait to have sex with him? She asked herself, panicking at the thought of being naked in front of a man again. Do I have to start shaving my legs everyday again? Random thoughts just started popping into her head, thoughts that had never entered her mind since she met Michael six years ago. I guess all those things fell into place with him, so I guess they will all fall into place with Nick too, she convinced herself, laughing at how nervous and unsure she was getting.

“I was a wife for five years, and a pretty good one, dammit,” she said out loud with a defiant look on her face. She smiled, knowing it was silly to talk out loud to herself like that. “And I can do it again,” she said quietly. She stood up and walked back into the hotel.


There is no way I am going to be able to explain what just happened outside, she told herself as she was walking onto the elevator. It’s not everyday that a deceased loved one can help clarify a situation for you. I guess its best I just keep it to myself. She smiled, walking off the elevator and down the hall to Nick’s room.

“You’re back, good,” Annie said when she noticed Andrea coming through the door.

“Good? Did you miss me that much?” she joked to her cousin.

“Oh, yes, so much. I thought I might start crying if you weren’t back soon,” Annie responded, sarcasm dripping from her every word. Andrea just gave her a look that said ‘I am so not amused by you’. “Anyway, we are in a city we’ve never been to before, and we are leaving tonight after the concert, so now is our only chance to go exploring,” she said in an excited tone.

“Good point. Where do you want to go? We don’t have a car, so I guess wherever the bus takes us, huh?” Andrea asked, again always being the practical one. She looked at her watch; it was 12:47PM. She looked at Annie, waiting for a response, and saw Annie tilting her head towards Nick and AJ. Andrea shook her head no, and Annie nodded her head yes. Andrea mouthed the word “no” and Annie mouthed the word “yes”.

They continued to do this back and forth until they noticed Nick and AJ staring at them with smirks on their faces. “You guys have two hours before you have to go to the venue, do you want to come with us?” Andrea asked, caving under the pressure.

“Yes, we do,” AJ said sweetly, putting his right arm around Annie and his left arm around Andrea. “And I think you two will want us to come too, because we can get a car to take!” Their faces lit up, touched by the suggestions. He smiled at them. It’s nice being able to use our fame and money like this for them because they don’t expect us to, he thought openhandedly to himself. They would have taken the bus if I hadn’t offered to get a car, and that’s what amazes me.

“Oh Alex, that’s awesome!” Annie exclaimed. “You guys don’t have to though. But I suppose it’s easier for you, that way you don’t have to worry about fans recognizing you on the bus and causing a scene, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Nick responded. He smiled at Andrea, noticing she looked different than before. “Where did you go when you left?” he asked her, half curious and half suspicious.

“Just outside, I needed to clear my head and work some stuff out…why? Are you checking up on me?” She smiled at him slyly, but in her mind she was afraid he really was.

“Well, someone’s got to keep you in line!” He laughed. “I don’t want you running off and finding a different pop star to date!”

“That something you don’t have to worry about,” she said sweetly as she nuzzled her face in his chest. “You’re the only pop star I want.”

Alex looked at Annie and gave her a sexy smile. “And how about you? Are there any other pop stars you want to date?”

“Pop star? No. But rock or alternative star, that’s a different story…,” she trailed off, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

“That’s not the answer I was hoping for,” he said sadly, giving her puppy dog eyes.

“Oh Alex,” she said with a smile on her face. “You are the only man for me I think.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer to her, so their lips were almost touching. “I should say, I don’t want to find out if there is another man for me, I want you to be it,” she said seductively as she kissed him.

“Oh my God, Annabellaroonie! I never thought the day would come when you would be so smitten with a guy that you would actually perform a PDA!” Andrea exclaimed, teasing her cousin about all the times she had been grossed out by seeing other people performing public displays of affection.

“Yeah, well things change,” she sighed, looking into Alex’s eyes. “And change is good.” Andrea smiled, knowing exactly what her cousin meant.

 

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Nick, AJ, Andrea and Annie slipped out a side door to the hotel and jumped into the mini van that was waiting for them. Andrea was relieved to see that they had a driver to take them around the city; she did not want to have to try to navigate Pittsburgh.

“Where do you want to go first?” the driver asked as he started pulling out of the parking lot. Luckily the van had tinted windows, so when they drove through the crowds of girls wandering around the parking lot, they were not noticed.

“Well, I have no idea what there is to do in Pittsburgh. I didn’t expect to be here so I did not do any research or planning for this city,” Andrea said, sounding disappointed that she dropped the ball on this. She was usually so organized and it pained her greatly when she was unprepared.

“Well, you had no time to prepare for it,” Nick said in an effort to make her feel better. “We basically kidnapped you and gave you no advance warning.” He leaned forward to talk to the driver, and then leaned back in his seat a minute later.

“What did you tell him? Where are we going?” Annie asked inquisitively. “And it better not be a Hooter’s or a strip club!”

“Why, you afraid they would offer you a job and then you’d have to stay here?” AJ asked her, looking at her breasts. “Cause you could totally work there!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Annie said sarcastically. She turned her body away from AJ and towards Nick. “So anyway, back to where we are going….”

“I just told him to take us someplace where we could do some walking around and look at stuff, but something that wouldn’t be a time consuming commitment since we only have two hours,” Nick replied. “He knows this city better than any of us, so I’ll let him decide.”

They rode in the van for about ten more minutes. When it stopped and they got out, they found themselves downtown. They saw men and women in business suits walking down the street, moms pushing strollers with kids in them, dogs walking their owners, and people getting on and off the bus. It was a very busy city and the hustle and bustle made that quite obvious.

The foursome spent the next two hours walking down the main streets, going in and out of shops and stores. They laughed, played, and for those two hours, Nick and Alex got to be just two normal guys hanging out with two normal girls. When it came time to get back in the van and head back to the hotel, Andrea and Annie were ready to sit down and relax, and Nick and AJ felt rejuvenated.

“God, it’s so nice get away from being a Backstreet Boy 24/7 and just be Nick, doing some sightseeing and shopping, and hanging out with friends” said Nick with a big smile on his face. “I love my job, but unlike most jobs, I don’t get to leave at five o’clock and go home, it’s an always thing, and sometimes I feel burnout coming on, and doing things like this really helps to make that feeling go away. Thanks for inviting me,” Nick said as she kissed Andrea on the cheek.

“Yeah, same goes for me,” Alex said. “I had a great time. Pittsburgh is a great city.”

They pulled into the hotel parking lot with one minute to spare, but as always, Kevin was already standing next to the buses with his hands on his hips and a questioning look on his face.

“You guys always have to cut it close, don’t you?” Kevin asked, not trying to stifle the accusing tone in his voice.

“It’s one of the few ways we can get to you Kevin,” Nick said, mocking his older “brother”. “It’s so much fun to get a rise out of you!”

Kevin grabbed Nick by the head and rubbed his knuckles over the top of it. “This is how I get a rise out of you,” he laughed, as Nick flailed himself around, trying to break free of Kevin’s hold. When he finally let Nick go, he frantically fixed his hair and straightened his shirt.

“I hate it when you do that. It might have been cute when I was sixteen, but not anymore!” Nick shouted, knowing that Kevin had accomplished what he was hoping to. Instead of feeding into it anymore, he decided to just get on the bus. He turned around and noticed Andrea and Annie snickering, both trying their hardest to hide it. “What are you two laughing at?” he asked, trying himself not to laugh.

“Oh Nick, you are so cute when you get picked on and get mad about it,” Andrea said as she walked up to Nick and smoothed his hair. “Your face turns red and you eyes get fiercely blue, it’s so….” she paused for a minute, standing up on her tip toes to reach his ear. “Sexy,” she whispered seductively into it. Nick groaned a little at the tone of her voice; it was turning him on.

“Girl, you better stop right now before I do things to you that you never imagined,” he said playfully, biting his lower lip. “Cause if you keep that up, I might not be able to control myself.”

“I know, that’s the fun part,” she said slyly. She smacked him on the a$s and then ran away before he could grab her.

“You have to ride back to Cincinnati with me, so I’ll get you sooner or later,” he remarked, looking her up and down. “You can run, but you can’t hide!” Andrea let out a shrill giggle and Nick made a grab for her, but she wiggled away from him.

“Oh, I’m looking forward to it,” she said smiling at him.

“Okay you two, we have to get going,” said Howie. “Everybody on the buses.” Andrea and Annie walked onto Nick’s bus and took a seat. They were very excited to be going to the concert tonight, since they missed the one last night. They were also excited because instead of sitting in the fifteenth row of the second section, they would be in the third row tonight.

“Now Annie, you have to be careful walking from the tour bus into the venue, I don’t want you to get pelted in the head with a flying object again,” Nick joked. “Seriously though, go really fast and stay right next to Marcus and Q, got it?”

“Yes sir!” Annie exclaimed, saluting Nick. “I promise…there is no way I am missing the concert tonight.”

A few minutes later the buses were pulling up to the venue. The barricades had not even been set up yet and there were no fans in sight. “It’s my lucky day I guess,” commented Annie as the doors to the bus opened. Annie walked off the bus, with Marcus on one side and Q on the other. Both her and Andrea made it into the venue without incident.

“I guess this is a sign of better things to come,” Andrea said smiling at her cousin.

“You better believe it,” Nick said coming up behind her. “It’s only going to get better from here.”

 

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Once they got inside the venue, Andrea and Annie were escorted to one of the dressing rooms; ignorant to what they would see when they walked in. There were two large tables covered with what must have been every single request the boys had given to the venue.

“What do they need so much stuff for?” Andrea asked, bewildered. There was enough food to feed an army and enough bottled water and beverages to sink a ship.

“A perk to headlining a show,” said Kevin as he entered the room behind them. “It’s always too much stuff, but the people that work here get whatever we don’t take, so at least it doesn’t get wasted.” He smiled at the wide-eyed expressions on both the girls’ faces. How cute they are, he thought to himself as he walked over to a table and grabbed a plate of food. I love being around people that don’t live like we do, it’s so refreshing.

“If you guys are hungry, dig in. Please, help yourselves,” Brian said as he, Leighanne and Baylee walked into the room to get some food. “There is more than enough here, as you can see.” He grabbed a plate and walked down the table, placing whatever Baylee pointed to onto the plate.

Andrea watched Baylee very intently. Leighanne noticed her staring at her son and got an uneasy feeling. She walked up to Brian with a worried look on her face. “Why is she looking at him like that?” she asked in an offensive tone. “Do you see what I mean? She is just staring at him like he’s an alien or something!” Although she had started her comment very quietly, the exasperation she felt took her over and when she stopped talking, she realized she had been almost yelling. Everyone in the room heard what she said.

Andrea felt very embarrassed for watching Baylee so closely and for Leighanne catching her and pointing it out to everyone else. “Excuse me,” Andrea said with tears in her eyes. She turned and ran out of the room, almost knocking over Nick and AJ who were walking into the room at that moment.

“Andrea!” Nick called as she ran past him. She kept going, not even hearing him. Nick look at everyone standing in the room, their eyes bulging out of their heads and vacant expressions on their faces. Leighanne had her hand over her eyes, trying to cover her face from him. “What in the h*ll happened?” Nick asked, fuming, his eyes focused directly on Leighanne. She did not answer him, no one did. “WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED?” he asked, shouting this time.

“Nick,” Leighanne started, slowly removing her hand from her face. “She was staring at Baylee again, just like yesterday. It’s really creepy and she makes me nervous. Do you know anything about her? I mean how do you know she’s not crazy or something? I don’t want strange people around my son.”

Nick was irate by this point and about to jump all over Leighanne, but Annie beat him to it. “How dare you,” Annie said seething. Her face was beet red and she looked like she was about to spit fire. She opened her mouth to continue, but Brian stepped up to take control of the situation. He did not approve or appreciate how Leighanne had acted and what she had said, but he was not about to leave his wife hanging out to dry.

“I don’t think Leigh meant to upset anybody, she was just trying to protect our son,” he started, but Nick cut him off.

“She didn’t need to protect him from anything,” Nick said pointing his finger at Leighanne. “Andrea wasn’t doing anything wrong and she would never do anything to hurt Baylee. She loves kids!” He was trying to defend Andrea with every ounce of his being. “You are just so insecure that you think anyone that pays attention to your kid is trying to take him away! You think anyone that you didn’t grow up with or bring into our little group yourself is strange or psychotic. News flash Barbie, this isn’t ‘Leighanne’s world’, it’s not always going to be the way you want it to be!” Nick was completely shouting at this point.

“Nick, that’s enough,” Kevin said, stepping between him and Leighanne. He was sure that last comment of Nick’s would push her over the edge and she would lunge at him, but that didn’t happen. Her expression softened, knowing that if Nick was this passionate about the situation and speaking with that much conviction, there must be more than she knew about Andrea.

“I am sorry,” she said quietly, taking her hands off Baylee’s ears. She had covered them so the yelling wouldn’t be quite so loud. Brian put his arm around his wife’s shoulder to comfort her. She was trying to figure out the right thing to say so she didn’t offend anybody again. “I didn’t mean to upset her, or anyone else.” She looked down and her hands and noticed they were shaking. She quickly put them into her pants pockets. “Why-I mean what-I-I-I don’t know how to ask this, so I’m just going to,” she said stammering and stuttering. “What is her deal? If she likes kids, why does she act so strange around him,” she asked, looking down at Baylee.

“That’s really none of your business,” Annie jumped in, trying her hardest to protect her cousin’s privacy. “If she wanted you to know, you would.” Annie glared at Leighanne, deciding she was not going to let her off the hook that easily. A skimpy little apology followed by a really bitchy question was not enough for her. “And why are you even attempting to apologize to us, you did not insult or embarrass any of us.” AJ walked over and put his hand on Annie’s arm, trying to get her to calm down a little.

“I know you are upset,” he whispered in her ear, “but Leighanne is used to things being her way. She isn’t used to having other woman on tour with her and holding her accountable for the things she does.” AJ gave Annie a peck on the cheek. “Maybe you should go find Andrea and see if she’s okay,” he suggested to Annie, looking at Leighanne out of the corner of his eye.

Annie nodded her head and left the room, without taking her eyes off Leighanne until she was out the door. “God, the nerve of that bitch,” Annie muttered under her breath as she went looking for Andrea.

Once Annie had left the room, AJ turned his focus to Leighanne. “That was probably one of the coldest, cruelest things you’ve done, without even knowing it,” he said with slanted eyes and gritted teeth. “You have hurt that poor girl more than you can possibly know and if I were you, I would go try and make it right. Then maybe, just maybe you will find out why everyone is so upset with you and why your comments are so out of line.”

Leighanne, Brian, Kevin and Howie stood there, looking at AJ, trying to figure out what he was saying. They had no idea what Nick, AJ, and Annie were so upset about, they did not know the story. Instead of trying to argue and find out what he was talking about, Leighanne conceded and walked out the door to find Andrea and Annie.

“What is going on man?” Brian asked, after his wife left the room.

“Yeah, what Leighanne said was rude, but how was it cruel?” Howie asked, his curiosity peaked.

“Andrea had two kids, and a husband for that matter. They were killed in a car accident last Thanksgiving,” Nick said somberly, hoping Andrea wouldn’t be upset with him for telling them. “Baylee was the same age as her son, they were born on the same day actually, and..”

“Oh my God, I had no idea,” Brian said softly, not meaning to cut Nick off. He felt so sorry for Andrea, and ashamed of the way his wife had treated her. “Nick, I’m sorry, if Leigh had known all that, she would have never…”

“I know Bri, I know,” said Nick before Brian could finish. He bent down to Baylee’s level and looked him tenderly in the eyes. “Hey little man, I’m sorry I yelled so loud at your mommy. The lady she was talking about though is very nice, and she likes kids a whole lot, so be nice to her, okay?” Baylee looked up at “Uncle Nick” and smiled at him.

“I know she’s nice, I can tell when people are nice. She doesn’t look mean,” Baylee responded, trying to sound very grownup and wise. “She has curly hair, girls with curly hair aren’t mean.”

Everyone started laughing and Nick held out his hand for Baylee to give him a five. “That’s right little man, she isn’t mean.”

Nick wanted to go check on the ladies and see how they were doing, but Kevin deterred him. “They need to work this out on their own. You know woman, they are probably talking about shopping and cooking by now, or something like that. I’m sure they will be back soon.”

The guys got their plates of food and sat down to eat and relax before the sound check. Fifteen minutes later they had all finished eating, but the girls were still nowhere to be seen.

 

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

“What took you guys so long?” Brian asked as the three women walked into the dressing room smiling and laughing. “We were ready to send out a search party.”

“What? We weren’t gone that long,” Annie said laughing as she noticed the annoyed look on all the guys’ faces. “Don’t worry, we are fine, the longest part was finding where Andrea had run off to. Once we found her, it didn’t take that long to work things out.” Annie walked over to the table of food and grabbed a plate, followed by the other two women.

The guys stood there with shocked looks on their faces, wondering what happened and how they worked things out so fast. All three women were acting as if nothing had happened. When the girls noticed the guys just staring at them, they busted out laughing.

“Don’t you guys have a sound check to do or something?” Andrea asked with a smirk. “Why are you staring at us like that?”

The guys just shook their heads and walked out of the room and towards the stage for sound check. The girls once again busted out laughing as soon as the guys were out of the room.

“It’s like they’ve never seen girls make up after a fight,” Leighanne said looking at Andrea. “I really am sorry though. If I had known what you went through, things would have made a bit more sense, and I wouldn’t have said those horrible things.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Andrea responded in an understanding tone.

Leighanne held out her arms toward Andrea. “Friends?” she asked.

“Friends,” Andrea said as she walked into Leighanne’s open arms and hugged her.

Leighanne wrapped her arms around Andrea’s petite frame tightly. She was so relieved that Andrea had forgiven her for the awful things she said and was not holding a grudge. Must be a Midwest thing, she thought to herself as she hugged Andrea. Or a southern thing, because I would be the same way, but the women I meet in LA who call themselves my friends would not be so nice or forgiving. They remember everything you say, or don’t say and use it against you when it suits them.

The two women released each other and joined Annie at the table where she had already begun to eat. Andrea and Annie told Leighanne about their lives, about the company, where they live, what Wisconsin is like, their plans for the next three weeks and so on. Leighanne in turn told them about how she met Brian, what she does when she is not on the road with the guys, and what it is like being married to a Backstreet Boy. By the time they had finished eating and they had learned quite a bit about each other, sound check was over and the guys came bounding back into the dressing room.

“Man, those girls are crazy!” AJ exclaimed as he walked into the room. “I thought that one girl was never going to let go of me.”

“What’s this I hear?” Annie asked casually, trying to not let the jealousy that was building inside her show. “You had girls hanging on you? Does that happen often?” She already knew the answer to that question.

“I think someone’s getting a little green,” Howie said with a laugh. “Honestly Annie, don’t worry. It’s not a big deal.”

“I’ve been dealing with it since Brian and I started dating,” Leighanne offered, hoping to be helpful to the situation. “Girls still hug him and hang on him and tell him they love him, but it’s really nothing to worry about. At the end of the day, it’s me he climbs into bed with, and that’s all that matters. They all love the fans, but not the way they love the girls they are involved with. You have nothing to worry about.”

AJ looked at Leighanne, but this time he was smiling at her. “She’s right Annie,” he said as he mouthed the words “thank you” to Leighanne. “You remember when you were younger; wouldn’t you have hung onto me until you were pulled off?”

“Well, I would have defiantly done something to get your attention, but I don’t know if it would have been something embarrassing like hanging on you until security pried me off,” Annie said with a sexy smile on her face. “Of course, nothing could be as embarrassing as the way Andrea got Nick’s attention yesterday at sound check!” She added quickly, shooting Andrea a funny look.

“Oh, I can think of plenty things that would be way more embarrassing,” Andrea said, trying to defend herself. “And besides, I didn’t do that on purpose….I didn’t even know they were right behind me! And why do you always have to bring up something I do so that the focus is taken off you? I don’t like being the lackey!” Andrea stopped when she noticed that everyone was staring at her with amused looks on their faces. “What? What is so darn funny?” Andrea asked, trying to sound annoyed.

“You,” Nick said as he brushed away the curl that had fallen into her eyes while she was ranting. “You’re too cute for words,” he said sweetly.

“Yeah, you really are,” Annie mocked and she stuck her finger in her mouth and pretended to gag. “The cutest even.”

“Shut up,” Andrea joked to Annie, never breaking the intense stare her and Nick were partaking in together.

“Okay,” Annie responded turning away from Nick and Andrea. “What do you guys want to do while we wait for those two to come out of the ‘love trance’ they are in?” she asked everyone else, rolling her eyes.

“I heard that,” Nick said laughing.

“Me too,” said Andrea. “It’s not my fault that his eyes are so captivating and induce such reverie,” she innocently admitted, as she smiled up at Nick, her green eyes gleaming.

“Oh, I know it. They really do,” AJ said huskily, his voice full of sarcasm and mockery. “I know when I look into them, I react the same way. You can’t fight it,” he laughed as he started to sing “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” by Leann Rimes. “You can try to resist, try to hide from my kiss, but you know don’t you know that you, can’t fight the blue eyes,” he sang, changing the last two words. The entire room erupted in laughter, including Andrea and Nick.

“You are such a dumbass,” laughed Nick as he punched AJ in the shoulder.

“Ow, you big A-hole,” said AJ rubbing his shoulder. “You punch hard, for a girl!”

“You really want to wake up one morning and find all your clothes gone or your entire body covered tape or something, don’t you?” Nick asked trying to sound threatening.

“You can’t do anything to me, Annie will be there to protect me,” AJ chided. He smiled at Annie, but she looked at him with a questioning expression on her face. “Right? You are going to be with me, aren’t you?” he asked, the laughter and joking gone from his voice.

Annie looked around, not sure what to say. What am I supposed to say? I have no idea what’s going to happen or where I am going to be. This trip was supposed to be just me and Andrea, and is all of that going to change now? She had so many questions running through her head at the same time she felt dizzy. I am not a “commitment” type of girl! I don’t commit to anything that involves men, what the h*ll am I supposed to say?

“Annie?” AJ asked, waiting for her answer. I guess I shouldn’t have put her on the spot like this, but I didn’t think it would take her this long to answer. I can’t take it back now. Why won’t she answer? He was beginning to doubt her feelings for him. She had made him feel so hopeful in the restaurant earlier. Was it all a lie? Was she just trying to pacify me until she got back to Cincinnati and away from me?

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see,” she said seductively, hoping to distract him and the thoughts he had and the answers he wanted. She walked up and kissed him slowly and deeply. If I know anything about Alex McLean, it’s that this will shut him up for a little while at least, she thought to herself. I just don’t want to get into this in front of everybody.

“That’s a good answer,” he said, licking his lips after they finished kissing. “I can’t wait to get you in bed again,” he snarled into her ear.

“I can’t wait either,” she breathed into his ear. She looked at her watch, it was almost six. “Don’t we have time for a little action now?” she asked him, biting her lower lip.

“We’ll be right back,” AJ said as he grabbed Annie around the waist and pulled her out of the room.

“Just make sure you’re done by the time we go onstage!” Kevin yelled after them. They all snickered for a minute or so, then went back to their conversations until it was time to get ready for the concert.

 

 

“Wow. That’s all I can say. That was amazing,” Annie said as she slipped her shirt over head and pulled her pants back on.

“Sex in a bathroom stall always is.” AJ smiled at her as he buckled his belt.

“You are so naughty,” she said in a sexy tone. “I guess we better get back though,” she said, unlocking the door.

“In a minute.” He put his hand on the door so she couldn’t open it. “I know you were trying to get me sidetracked,” he said with a serious look on his face. “I just had a really great time getting sidetracked, don’t get me wrong, but why you are trying is what I want to know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said defensively.

“Yes, you do, but I’m not going to press you about it right now. I have to get changed and warmed up so you’re off the hook for the time being. But just know this isn’t the end of this conversation.” He allowed her to open the door and exit the bathroom. “Women,” he sighed under his breath as he followed her out.

They walked back into the dressing room to find everyone talking and laughing. They hoped to slip back in without being too obvious, but that didn’t happen.

“Maybe next time you two could come back without the ‘just did it’ glow about you?” Kevin suggested.

Annie and AJ looked at each other and realized Kevin was right. Both of their faces were flushed and they each had that twinkle in their eye. “Yeah, we’ll have to work on that next time,” Annie said.

“Yeah, but being ‘low-key’ was never really my thing,” AJ said laughing. “As you all know.”

“No doubt,” said Howie. “Mr. Discreet you are not!”

The tour manager walked into the dressing room and pointed to his watch, then turned around and walked back out without uttering one single word.

“Duty calls,” said Kevin as he stood up. All five guys walked over to the portable closet that followed them from venue to venue and grabbed their outfits for the opening sequence. The dressing room had four separate rooms connected to it; a full bathroom with a shower, two private rooms with more sitting areas, and a smaller bathroom with just a sink and toilet in it, and each one slipped into a room to change. Howie, the odd man out, had to wait until one of other guys was done to change.

Once all the guys had changed into their “stage” clothes, they began warming up their voices.

“I don’t know why they do that. I think they would be able to sing like angels even after waking up from a dead sleep,” Andrea said to Annie and Leighanne, as she stared longingly at Nick. Annie rolled her eyes and Leighanne just laughed, remembering back to when she and Brian started dating and she felt that same way.

“Come on girls, we better go grab our seats,” said Leighanne. She ushered the girls and Baylee out the door so the guys could finish getting ready. “We have amazing seats, you’ll really enjoy them.” Once they were inside the arena they quickly located their seats.

“Mommy, I want to sit by Nick’s friend,” Baylee said with a smile, remembering what “Uncle Nick” had told him. Leighanne smiled at her son, and lifted him over her lap and set him on the chair between her and Andrea. “Hi,” Baylee said to Andrea.

“Hi,” Andrea said back. She smiled at him, and he slid his hand into hers, forcing her to hold it. This kid must have learned his moves from “Uncle Nick” she laughed to herself as she held his hand.

“You have curly hair,” he said to her, causing her to laugh.

“Yes I do,” she concurred with him. “And is that okay?”

“Yes, it means you’re nice. I told that to Uncle Nick and he said I was right.”

Andrea just laughed. For being two, this kid sure knew how to charm the ladies. Before the two of them had a chance to continue their conversation, the lights dimmed and familiar music began to play throughout the arena. Girls started screaming at the top of their lungs and videos of the guys started playing on the enormous screens on the stage. With a few flashes of the lights the show started.

Andrea and Annie screamed and jumped up and down along with everyone else, enjoying every minute of it. The boys looked so hot and they sounded absolutely amazing. It still astounded them how talented the Backstreet Boys truly were. There they were, singing live, and sounding just as good as they do in the studio.

“Oh my God, this is so great!” Andrea screamed. “I cannot believe we are this close to the stage!”

“Dude, I know! I am so glad that we came on this trip!” Annie screamed back.

Before the concert was over, Leighanne leaned over towards Andrea. “We have to go backstage now,” she screamed over the music. “The guys are going to stop singing, and leave the stage, but then they will come back for the encore. We have to be backstage and ready to get on the buses by then, because right after the encore we are gone.” Andrea nodded, indicating she understand what Leighanne had said and then turned to relay the message to Annie. When the song ended, they shuffled out of the row and walked out of the arena.

“Oh my God, I think I’m deaf!” yelled Annie as they left the loud arena and out into the quiet hallway.

“Yeah, me too!” Andrea yelled back. They went into the dressing room and grabbed their purses and then made their way to the buses to wait for the guys. Ten minutes later, Nick and AJ jumped on Nick’s bus, covered in sweat.

“Back to the hotel for a shower,” Nick said as he grabbed the towel that was around his shoulders and wiped his face with it. The bus lurched forward, speeding away from the venue and the hoards of girls that were trying their best to climb onto the back of the bus.

 

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

On the way back to the hotel they hit a moderate amount of traffic, so by the time they finally got there, quite a few fans had arrived. The boys graciously got off the bus and signed autographs and took pictures with the girls as they were walking into the hotel.

“Where’s those girls that you were with in Cincinnati?” someone asked. “I was there and saw that one get hit in the head. Is she okay?”

“She is fine, thank you for asking,” Brian responded, and that was all he said. The girl was so happy that he talked to her she didn’t even notice that he didn’t answer the rest of her question.

They boys made it into the hotel, with the help of security, about twenty minutes later and hurried up to their rooms to take a shower and get their stuff. They were going to go out clubbing downtown until bar time, and then head back onto the buses for the trip back through Cincinnati to drop off Andrea and Annie and then onto Chicago.

Marcus and Q snuck Andrea and Annie off the bus and around to the side entrance of the hotel.

“There you go ladies, safe and sound,” said Marcus once they were inside and heading up to their rooms on the elevator.

“Thanks guys,” Andrea and Annie said in unison.

“Why don’t you and Nick come over to our room when he’s done taking a shower? Everyone else is meeting in our room too, and we are deciding were to go downtown. I guess there is this hot club called The Blue Room or something like that, but I don’t know,” Annie said with a puzzled look on her face.

“You know, if you keep doing that with your face, it’s going to stay like that, right?” Andrea joked with her cousin as they stepped off the elevator. Annie stuck her tongue out at her cousin and then giggled. “See you in a little bit,” said Andrea as she put her key in the door and walked into Nick’s room.

Nick was already in the shower when she walked in. She knocked on the bathroom door and poked her head inside. It was so steamy she couldn’t see very well, but she was grateful to have her contacts in instead of having foggy glasses. “Nick?” she called out, hoping she didn’t startle him.

He peeked his head around the shower curtain, water dripping off of him onto the floor. “What’s up? Did you want to join me?” he asked with a devilish grin, hoping to seduce her into the shower with him. She was taken aback by his comment, caught between her head telling her not to and the sensation in her pants telling her otherwise.

“What’s the point,” she said casually, trying to keep her cool. “You’ve already washed the sweat off.”

“Oh, you liked me all sweaty huh? Well, I can think of few ways to get me all sweaty again.” Andrea’s face turned crimson and Nick gave her a sexy laugh. “You know you want to so why fight it?” He asked her seductively as he pushed the shower curtain open, revealing him and all his magnificence. She quickly averted her eyes and was about to turn and leave when he grabbed her and pulled her into the shower with him, clothes and all.

They kissed passionately as the water pelted down on them, soaking her shirt. He looked at her hungrily as her shirt became see-through and clung to her every curve.

“Nick,” she said quietly and she pushed him back.

“Don’t worry,” he responded tenderly, knowing that she wasn’t ready. “Whenever you are ready, I will be waiting for you.” He bent down and kissed her again, and giving her waterlogged body one final look up and down, he shut off the water to the shower and grabbed two towels from the rack above the toilet. He handed her one and wrapped the other around himself. “By the way,” he said as he stepped out of the shower and held out his hand to help her out, “you look amazing wet.”

“Thanks….so do you,” she said with a cute smile on her face. This time, her face was only a dark shade of pink when she blushed. “The reason I came in here before was to tell you that we are meeting in Alex’s room when you are done. But now I have to get ready too,” she said with a smile.

They each dried off, put clean clothes on, Andrea redid her makeup and her hair, and they were out the door in record time. They knocked on the door to AJ’s room, and Annie answered it.

“Well it’s about time,” she said with an annoyed look on her face. That looked changed to inquisitive when she saw that Andrea’s hair was wet. “What did you do?” she asked, her eyes shifting from her cousin to Nick and back again.

“I, uh, fell into the shower and got all wet,” she said, hoping that would appease her cousin, but knowing it wouldn’t. “I’ll tell you later,” she finally said, giving in to her cousin’s pressure stare. They made their way into the hotel room and took a seat on the end of the bed.

“So what’s up?” Nick asked, noticing that everyone was there and he and Andrea were the last to arrive. “Where are we going?”

“I guess we decided on that Blue Room place,” Annie said. “It’s supposed to be chill,” she said, trying her best to sound like AJ when he said it earlier. She knew she sounded so Midwest when she said it and she just started laughing.

“Now I know how stupid I sound when I try to say stuff like that,” Andrea said, laughing hysterically at her cousin. “I can’t believe you just said ‘chill’!”

“Dude, shut up!” Annie retorted, lacking a better comeback. “Let’s not get me started on all the stupid things you say!” Andrea and Annie continued laughing until they could hardly breathe.

“I think it was cute,” said AJ as he walked up to Annie and kissed her cheek. “But you are going to have to hang around me a lot more if you want to talk like me. It’s not something you can just do all of a sudden; you have to become one with the Alex inside you.”

“Okay Yoda, I thought we did that earlier?” Annie asked, giving him a sideways glance. “In the bathroom?” Alex quickly put his hand over Annie’s mouth so she wouldn’t say anymore.

“SSHHH, don’t give away all our dirty little secrets,” he said to her laughing.

“Um, it wasn’t really a secret Bone,” said Kevin laughing. “You didn’t hide it very well, Captain Obvious, remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” AJ stammered, removing his hand from Annie’s mouth. “But I will still be able to teach you how to say ‘chill’ without sounding retarded, while we are touring, so don’t worry.” He noticed that same look on Annie’s face that she got earlier. Here it comes, he said to himself. “Right?”

Andrea looked at her cousin after AJ’s comment to see what her reaction was. She knew Annie and her non-commitment stance on life and had a feeling this was not going to turn out well. Annie’s not going to be able to distract him with sex this time, she thought to herself, concerned about the situation.

Annie’s face had lost some of its color and she was no longer making eye contact with AJ; he noticed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, knowing that she was could not skate away from the topic this time.

“Are you guys planning on continuing the tour with us?” Nick asked Andrea quietly, never taking his eyes off Annie and AJ.

“You guys never asked us and Annie and I never talked about it,” Andrea replied honestly. “I guess AJ assumed we were; were you assuming that too?”

“No,” he whispered back. “He and I didn’t talk about it yet either…” Nick trailed off.

Annie still had not answered AJ. “What Annie? You can’t dodge it now; you have to talk to me. What is the problem? Do you not want to stay with me?” He could feel his face getting hot and he knew everyone was staring at him and Annie. He didn’t want to do this in front of everyone anymore than Annie did, but it didn’t appear like they had much of a choice.

“Alex,” she began tenderly, knowing that what she was going to say might hurt him. “I know that I want to stay with you, but I’m not sure if I can stay with you.” She looked into his eyes, and saw the hurt and sadness filling them.

“What are you talking about?” he asked gruffly, trying to keep his composure. “What about the things you said earlier? Do you remember all the things we talked about? Did you mean any of it? What the hell does that even mean- you’re not sure if you ‘can stay with me’? What’s stopping you?” He was very angry at this point, and felt humiliated in front of everyone.

“Alex, maybe we should talk about this in private?” Annie suggested.

“No, I want you to tell me, right now, what the problem is!” he yelled. She stood there, looking down at her feet. When she didn’t answer him, his blood started to boil. “TELL ME!” he screamed making her and everyone else in the room jump.

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and fear written all over her face. “IT’S ME!” she yelled back at him. “I’M WHAT’S STOPPING ME!” and with that, she grabbed her purse and Andrea’s arm and began pulling her out of the room. “Let’s get out of here,” she pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“No, wait, don’t go!” AJ yelled, but it was too late; Andrea and Annie were gone with the slamming of the door. “Don’t go” he whispered, falling onto the ground, sobbing. “What did I do? What have I done?”

 

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Andrea had been dragged halfway to the elevator before she realized what had just happened.

“Annie, stop!” Andrea shouted, wiggling loose from her cousin’s grip and jumping in front of Annie so she couldn’t move forward. “Do you realize what you just did? You may have just ruined the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you!”

“Don’t you think I know that? But I think you are forgetting what happened with Antoine! I am not putting myself out there again; I am not going to vulnerable to another man! Now I am leaving, with or without you.” Annie started to push past Andrea, but Andrea grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Excuse me? Do not talk to me about not putting yourself out there again! My husband was killed for Christ’s sake, and you kept pushing, telling me to not give up on love, to get out and find someone. Why can’t you do the same thing? Losing someone you love, for WHATEVER reason, isn’t harder just for you!” Andrea yelled back at her cousin.

“You’re husband was killed, he didn’t cheat on you! He didn’t have sex with his secretary in your bed! He didn’t screw another woman senseless in your bathroom while you were in the kitchen making dinner for the two of them and her husband! You have no idea how I feel and it’s not the same thing as Michael dying!” Andrea stood there in disbelief, her mouth gaping open.

“How dare you,” she reeled, her head spinning. “You were always so jealous of my marriage, of my husband. Saying all the hurtful things you can think of is not going to change the fact that you always wanted what I had and because you ended up with the most unfaithful man in the northern hemisphere instead of someone that actually loved you and wanted to be with something more than just a great piece of as$ you’re going to run away from something, someone that could make you so happy!” Andrea inhaled deeply to catch her breath after giving that entire speech on one mouthful of air.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Annie snapped as she tried to get past Andrea. Andrea would not let her pass. “Get out of my way!” she ordered, her anger and frustration increasing with every beat of her heart.

“You are not going to run away from this,” Andrea said as calmly as she possibly could. “You brought me here to find love, and I did; now it’s your turn.” She tried to push Annie back towards AJ’s room, but Annie was too far-gone with emotion to understand what Andrea was trying to do.

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!” she screamed at the top of her lungs and she shoved Andrea out of her way and ran down the hallway to the elevator.

Annie pushed her cousin with so much force it sent Andrea flying backwards into the wall. She stumbled, trying to catch herself but failed. The back of her head smashed into the wall so hard it essentially ricochet off of the wall and propelled her forward again. Andrea, as limp as a wet noodle, fell forward hitting her head once more; this time it was her forehead on the wood trim along the floor. The angle and strength her head hit the trim with caused the skin on her forehead to break. The last sound Andrea heard before she slipped into oblivion was the resonance of the bone in her arm breaking as she landed awkwardly on it.

Annie stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the multiple thuds and ran back to her cousin who was crumpled on the floor. “Oh my God, Andrea, I am so sorry!” she yelled trying to lift her cousin up off the floor. “Andrea, wake up! Oh my God wake up!” She shook Andrea as hard as she could attempting to arouse her from the unconsciousness she had slipped into. “Help! Someone help me!” Annie screamed hysterically as she took off her sweatshirt and pressed it against Andrea’s head.

“Jesus Christ, what happened?” a man asked as he ran out of his room to see what all the commotion was about. “LIZ, CALL 911!” he yelled back into his hotel room after he saw Andrea. Three other doors opened and people came out to see what was happening and why 911 needed to be called. There was so much noise in the hallway, people were shouting and running from door to door banging on them to find someone that could help until the ambulance arrived.

Nick ran over to AJ as the door slammed shut. “C’mon man, don’t go down like this,” he prodded, pulling AJ back up. “Everybody’s got skeletons in their closet, and Annie’s apparently is commitment related. Go after her and work it out.”

As AJ was standing up, he heard screaming and yelling in the hallway; they all did.

“What is going on out there?” Kevin asked rhetorically. “Sounds like someone is yelling for help,” he quickly concluded, about to run out the door and help.

“Kev, wait! What if it’s some girls trying to get our attention or something? We will get out there and get mauled! Call security and have them check it out,” warned Nick.

Kevin walked over the phone, but as he was picking it up they heard pounding on their door. “Open up, we need help! Open up!” a voice yelled from behind the door.

“Doesn’t sound like some teenage girls to me!” Kevin yelled at Nick as he flung open the door to see what was going on. “What’s wrong? Who needs help?” Kevin asked the person at the door. He looked down the hall to where the man was pointing and saw a huddle of people just standing in the hallway looking down.

“I don’t know what happened, but there’s a woman bleeding from the head and she is not conscious. Is anybody in this room a doctor or EMT or anything?” the man at the door frantically asked.

“I know some stuff, like CPR,” Nick said out loud, a little shocked that he hadn’t thought about it until now. “I learned as part of my scuba certification.” He ran out the door with the man, followed by the other guys. None of them could have been prepared for what they found when they got there.

 

“No she’s not conscious. Yes, it’s still bleeding. No, the bone isn’t sticking through the skin but it is clearly broken. Okay, okay, mmhm, uh-huh, thank you,” Liz said into the phone. She replaced it on the cradle and ran out into the hallway. “Don’t move her anymore!” she yelled, remembering everything the 911 dispatcher had told her. “We don’t know if she’s got a spinal injury! Keep pressure on her head and keep her arm stationary! The ambulance is on its way!”

“Move! Get out of the way! I found someone that knows what to do,” the man that had been pounding on doors said. “Let him through for God’s sake!” The crowd parted enough to let Nick into the action. He could not believe what he saw.

“Christ, what the hell happened Annie?” he shouted as he bent down next to Andrea. He placed two fingers on her neck and felt a pulse and then lowered his face down to her mouth to see if she was breathing. He noticed her arm, bent the wrong way and a bone sticking up under the skin. “Oh my God, what happened?” he asked again looking at Annie.

She didn’t answer him; she was curled up in ball on the floor, sobbing and repeating the words “I’m so sorry” over and over. AJ and Howie had pushed their way through the herd of people while Nick was checking Andrea’s pulse and were shocked when they saw “the woman” who needed help.

“Oh my God, what happened? Annie, what happened?” AJ frenetically asked as he hugged her, trying to get her to calm down.

“I did it, it’s my fault, it’s all my fault, I didn’t mean to push her so hard, it’s all my fault,” she sobbed as AJ rocked her in his arms.

“Shh, shh, it was an accident,” AJ said softly rocking her and rubbing her head, not understanding what happened. “Tell me what happened, its going to be okay,” he prodded.

Between sobs and fits of hysteria Annie told him what happened. By the time she had finished the ambulance had arrived and the EMT’s were tending to Andrea. Nick had been listening to Annie’s story as well. He crawled over to her but she would not look him in the eye.

“Annie, look at me,” he said softly. “It’s going to be okay.” She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his, crying even harder as she did so.

“I didn’t mean to, I didn’t even know I pushed her that hard or that she was hurt until I heard her fall. I was almost on the elevator by that time. I’m so sorry.” She started shaking and crying harder. Nick put his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

“It’s going to be okay,” he repeated gently. “I’m going to ride with her to the hospital. You stay here with Alex, calm down, and when you are ready, he will bring you to the hospital, okay?”

Annie nodded her head and folded back into AJ’s arms, the only place she felt safe and secure. “I’m sorry Alex,” she whispered as he held her. “I was afraid, that’s all. I was afraid to be with you, afraid to be hurt again. I don’t want to leave.” AJ pulled her up off the ground and they began walking back to his room.

“I am afraid too,” he said truthfully. “But I know that I don’t want live without you.” He opened the door to his room and they walked into inside still wrapped in each other’s arms. “Please don’t make me live my life without you in it?” he requested as they sat down on the end of the bed. “Don’t leave me, not like this and not for that reason.”

Annie nuzzled her head into his chest, taking a deep breath in. She loved the way he smelled, the way it felt to be in his arms, they way her body fit so perfectly against his, she loved everything about him; and at that moment she knew without a doubt in her mind that she loved him.

“I won’t leave you, not ever,” she whispered softly as she melted into his embrace. “I love you.”

 

Chapter 25

Chapter 25
Andrea opened her eyes and allowed them to adjust to the bright light above her hospital bed, taking in her surroundings as she did so. She was not sure where she was exactly, but she knew it was some type of health care facility. She tried to sit up to get a better outlook on her environment but quickly learned that was a mistake.

“Oh, my head,” she moaned quietly trying to decipher what was causing her so much pain. She tried to bring her left arm up to her head only to find that it was restrained somehow. She shifted her eyes downward and saw her arm bandaged and attached to her body in an L shape with more bandages.

“What the hell happened?” she said, speaking louder than she had before. She was beginning to panic, unsure of where she was and why she was there. She struggled to find the call button attached to her bed to summon a nurse, making quite a bit of noise as she did so. Being unable to sit up and only having range of motion in one arm caused alarm and fear to rise in her mind and she began to cry.

“Help me, someone help me! I don’t know where I am! What’s happening?” she yelled out, not able to control her emotions or her apprehension. Three people came running into Andrea’s room at the sound of her terrified cries.

“It’s okay honey, no need to worry. You are okay; we are going to put a sedative called Valium into your IV to help you relax,” one of the nurses said. She pushed the hair out of Andrea’s face and continued to smooth it as the other nurse ran the drugs through the IV in Andrea’s right hand. It began to work instantaneously, as if it were magic. Andrea took a few deep breaths then looked at the other person that had entered the room with the nurses. Who is that? She thought to herself as she began to ask the nurses what happened and where she was.

“Well dear,” the nurse that was stroking her hair said, “you hit your head in two places and broke your arm. Do you remember how that happened?”

Andrea thought really hard for a few minutes, but to no avail. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She was afraid to talk because she knew she would start crying harder, so she just shook her head from side to side. She soon realized that was the wrong thing to do; her head began to pound again, just as it had done when she tried to sit up. The nurse, who introduced herself as Stacie, saw the pained look on Andrea’s face, then looked at her watch.

“It’s time for some more pain medicine,” she said, nodding to the other nurse who was manning the IV, whose name was Amanda. As Amanda was injecting more drugs into the clear plastic tube that ran into Andrea’s hand, Stacie began to recount the events that had taken place earlier. She told Andrea about the injuries to her arm and her head, the surgery she had undergone when she arrived at the hospital to fix the bone in her arm, and the tests and examinations that had been performed on her while she was unconscious.
As Stacie was talking Andrea looked over again at the man standing in her hospital room, still trying to figure out who he was and what he was doing there. Why is he just standing there staring at me? It was beginning to make her feel uncomfortable.

“Who is that?” Andrea whispered to Amanda as if the man was not in the room with them and not able to hear what she was saying.

“You don’t recognize him?” Amanda asked back, starting to become alarmed at Andrea’s reaction and apparent disarray she felt. The man walked a little closer to her bed, hoping that if she got a closer look at him, she would recognize him. Andrea’s face still gave no hint of recognizance for the stranger in her room.

The stranger turned away from Andrea, hiding from her the hurt and ache he felt. He noticed a few people looking through the windows that separated Andrea’s room from the hallway; they were waving at him and motioning for him to come out to meet them. “Excuse me,” the man said, without even looking back at Andrea. He walked out the door and into the hallway where his friends were standing.

“Nick, how is she?” AJ asked, noticing the distraught appearance Nick had. Tears welled up in his eyes as AJ asked him that question.

“She doesn’t know who I am,” he said quietly as he began to cry. “She doesn’t have any idea that I love her, or that we were going to be together, or that…” he had to stop talking because he was crying too much. AJ hugged his best friend, feeling very sad for himself as well. She’s not going to remember me either, he somberly thought as he comforted his troubled friend.

The door to Andrea’s room opened and the nurses stepped out, closing the door behind them. “She is resting now,” said Stacie. She understood the pain they all felt as they stood in that hallway wondering if Andrea would ever remember who they are. “I called the doctor and she is on her way up here to talk to you all and explain Andrea’s condition a little better.”

“Okay, thank you,” said AJ as he nodded his head toward the couch that was situated in the hallway. “Sit down Nick; let’s wait until we hear from the doctor before we get crazy about this.” Nick obediently sat down, thankful that AJ was there with him.

“Where is Annie?” Nick asked as he settled back into the soft couch.

“I’m right here,” Annie responded, walking towards them. “I was in the bathroom.” She shifted her eyes toward Andrea’s room. “How is she?” she timidly asked, still feeling absolutely horrible about what happened.

“She is experiencing some memory problems,” AJ said, choosing his words carefully. “The doctor is on her way up here to talk to us about it.” Annie sat down on the couch with Nick and AJ, knots forming in her stomach. She wrung her hands over and over, not even making an attempt to shield her nervousness and apprehension from the guys. AJ placed his hand over hers, trying to calm her down.

“I am so sorry,” she repeated again, for what was about the hundredth time. “I did not mean to hurt her, I didn’t even realize that I had pushed her,” she continued, trying more to convince herself than to convince Nick and AJ. AJ patted her hand, letting her know that he understood, but Nick just sat there, not moving a muscle. I know that she would never intentionally hurt anybody, he told himself, trying to make sense of what she did. But how can you push someone that hard and not know it? How could she even push her that hard, period?

“Nick?” Annie asked, upset that Nick had not responded to her apology yet. He looked over at her, annoyance and anger taking over his sad blue eyes.

“I know Annie, but it still happened, and Andrea is still not okay. I just can’t try and make you feel better right now, I have other priorities at the moment,” he said coldly. He didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but it was the truth. He could not deal with her right now.

Annie was about to fire back at him but she did not get the chance; the doctor walked up and interrupted them. “Hi, I am Dr. Yesenia ,” she said, extending her hand to the three of them, one at a time. “I understand that you were in the room with her and she didn’t recognize you?” Dr. Yesenia asked, pointing to Nick. “I am sure that scared you quite a bit, but what you need to know is that conditions like this are usually not permanent. A combination of the anesthetic used during surgery, the knocks that she took to the head, and coinciding with that the fact of her being unconscious for that long of a time period tends to damage ones cognitive abilities, usually for an abbreviated time though. The tests that we ran, including the CAT scan show no signs of permanent memory loss, which is a very positive and encouraging prognosis.” She paused to allow the three of them to process the information she had just shared and answer any questions they had.

“How long will it take for her to remember?” Annie asked, very glad to hear it wasn’t permanent.

“It varies from patient to patient, but in most cases I have found that if they see something that meant a lot to them, something they wouldn’t typically forget on their own, they regain it that much faster.” She stopped again, noticing how beautiful Nick’s eyes were. “Like your eyes, for instance,” she said smiling at him. “I would bet that before this happened if you would have left and she never saw you again, she would have never forgotten your eyes.”

“Do you actually think that will work though?” Nick asked kind of skeptical but very flattered at the same time.

“The only way to know is to try,” she responded frankly, making sure she did not falsely or prematurely raise their hopes. “She is also going to have an extended recovery time for her arm since the bone was so badly broken. We have to wait for the incision to heal from the surgical procedure, and then her arm needs to be cast for another six to eight weeks, with x-rays every week to ensure proper healing of the bone. Other than that, she should be good as new with some rest and TLC in a week or so. Do you have any other questions for me right now because if not, I have rounds to do?”

They all shook their head no, and after an exchange of thank you’s Dr. Yesenia walked away. AJ looked at Nick, hope lighting up his soulful brown eyes.

“Well, go put those baby blues to work and jog that girl’s memory,” he said jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood and encourage Nick. Nick smiled at his friend, and then he smiled at Annie.

“Here goes nothing,” he said as he left the hallway and entered Andrea’s hospital room. “I hope this works,” he whispered, shutting the door behind him.

 

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Nick walked slowly up to Andrea’s bed, apprehension and uncertainty writhing inside him. She appeared to be sleeping at first glance, but as he got closer to her, her eyes fluttered open. Those gorgeous green eyes…. that do not remember me, he reflected despondently. She watched him like a hawk as he pulled a chair to the edge of her bed and sat down.

He leaned closer and closer to her, scooting the chair along with him until he was almost on top of her. He gaped into her eyes with as much conviction and power as he could muster; optimism and encouragement rallying under the surface but getting phased out by skepticism and hopelessness. She’s looking right into my eyes and she still has no idea who I am. I knew this was not going to work. Although he had convinced himself of this and admitted defeat, he continued to stare at her with his immaculately sapphire eyes for reasons he did not know.

“You have really beautiful eyes,” she said to him as she looked into them peacefully. “It’s almost like looking into the ocean.” She smiled at him, still having no idea who he was. She sighed and broke the line of vision they had with each other, a big yawn following. “Excuse me,” she said as she took her hand away from her mouth. “I guess I am tired.” She looked into his eyes once more, then closed her own and was asleep within seconds.

Nick grabbed her hand, careful not to bump the area where the IV needle was inserted, and entwined his fingers in hers as he had done so many times within the short expanse of their relationship. “Please remember,” he whispered softly into her ear. “Please come back to me.” He sat there for a few more minutes, then without making a sound he put the chair back and exited the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

He walked over the couch where Annie and Alex were sitting and plopped down between them. Before they could ask how it went he shook his head from side to side. “Nothing,” he simply said. As they sat there in silence waiting for a miracle to happen, Annie did something that she had not done in quite some time…she prayed.

“Annie, do you think those are his real eyes or contacts?”
“I’m not sure, but if I had to guess I would say they are contacts. I mean, how can someone naturally have eyes like that?”
“Well I guess we will just have to get close enough at the concert to find out, won’t we?”
“What are we going to do, tell the security guards that we have to meet Nick so we can find out if his eyes are real or not? I doubt that will work.”
“Just flash some boob at him, he’ll let us closer!”
“I am not flashing boob so you can see into Nick Carter’s eyes!”

A smiled formed across Andrea’s lips even though she was in a deep, pharmaceutically enhanced slumber. The flashback to her conversation with her cousin the night before their first Backstreet Boys concert seemed so real, as if it were happening all over again, right in front of her.

“Okay, let’s just walk down there and ask the security guard.”
“Andi, no way! This is so embarrassing!”
“If you wanted to know something about AJ, I would do whatever I could to find out for you.”
“I know you would… fine, let’s go…but I’ll do the talking. There is no way I am going to let you say something to get us in trouble like you always do!”

The girls walked down to the front of the stage and up to the security guard. There was hardly anybody there yet, seeing as how the concert was not going to start for another hour and a half.

“Excuse me, um sir, do you personally know Nickolas Gene Carter from the Backstreet Boys?”
“Yes, I do… why?”
“My cousin here would like to know if his eyes are really that blue or if they are contacts.”

The security guard pulled out his walkie-talkie and began to speak into it.

“There are two girls at the left front of the stage that have a question about Nick’s eyes. Okay, okay, mmmhmm, thank you, over. You girls wait right here.”
“Why, what did we do? It’s just a harmless question…”
“Hey girls, you have a question about my eyes?”
“No way! Oh my God! Andi, Andi, ask him! He’s right here…ask him!”
“Are your eyes really that blue or do you wear contacts?”

She had stammered throughout her very short and easy question. He had smiled at her and bent over so that his eyes had been directly level with hers.

“Well, look closely and you can tell me.”

She had looked so hard into his eyes, searching for the outline of contacts around his irises, but she saw none.

“Definitely real. Looking into your eyes is like looking into the ocean.”

Andrea’s eyes popped open and her heart began to race. Every piece of information she had tucked away and momentarily forgotten about came rushing over her.

The last thing she remembered before falling asleep were the beautiful eyes the stranger in her room had, and now she knew he was no longer a stranger. More importantly, she remembered the confrontation that had taken place between her and her cousin, and she knew the unpleasant incident had to be dealt with.

Andrea stretched her arm to reach the call button on the intercom for the nurses’ station. She grabbed it and pressed it down, waiting for a nurse to respond to her. Within a few seconds, she heard Stacie’s voice on the other end.

“What do you need, hon?”

“I need to talk to my cousin. Please send her in.”

Andrea was anxious to see Annie, but not due to fear or ill feelings. She was anxious because she knew Annie felt horrible about what happened, and Andrea was not looking forward to the awkwardness that would come about when Annie came into her room. Andrea heard the door to her room open and she saw Annie walking gingerly in. As soon as Andrea saw her, all the apprehension and anxiety that she was feeling retreated and Andrea knew exactly what she was going to say and how she was going to make it okay.

 

 

Nick and AJ sat puzzled on the couch as Annie got up and walked into her cousin’s hospital room.

“What do you think is going on?” Nick asked. He wanted so badly to go in there and see Andrea. “Not like it matters though, she doesn’t know who I am.” He looked down at his hands, trying to stifle the emotion he was feeling.

“She’ll remember,” AJ said trying to reassure his friend. “I know she will. She is a strong woman, look at what’s she’s been through already. She’ll remember.”

“I hope you are right. But if you’re right, just know that I am prepared to start over with her and make her fall in love with me again. Maybe it would be better that way anyway, like a fresh start.” He sat back and thought to himself about this, wondering if maybe her losing her memory is really a blessing in disguise.

“Nick, I really don’t think so,” AJ said, trying to get Nick to snap out of the unrealistic zone he was entering. “I don’t think her not remembering is the way to go.”

Nick reflected some more, making an imaginary list of pros and cons in his head. After a minute had passed, he looked at AJ and smiled. “You’re right,” he admitted to his friend. “It would be the best thing if she remembered. I was just trying to make myself feel better and convince myself that she and I would still work if I had to start over.”

“I know buddy, but don’t give up. I bet that before long, she will remember every little bonehead thing about you, whether you want her to or not!” Nick started laughing and grabbed AJ around the head and gave him a noogie.

Once Nick released him and they had finished laughing, AJ got a serious look on his face and turned to Nick. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because I really like the idea of you and Andrea together, but are you sure you’re not jumping ahead of yourself with everything? I know that Annie and I have gone through our share of craziness and have moved really fast over the past few days, but that’s who I am. I’m not sure this is who you are.”

“What are you talking about?” Nick asked, questioning where AJ was going with this.

“I am just asking that you make sure deep down that she is what you want. I don’t want you to get hurt the way you have in the past, thinking that you love someone and they turn around and stomp on you. Andrea has a lot of emotional baggage and I just want you to be prepared for that. Also…” he began, not sure how to say what he wanted without sounding like an asshole, “She looks nothing like a girl everyone would expect you to date. Look at all the girls you’ve dated before, and look at Andrea. She is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, don’t get me wrong, I would snatch her up in a second if you weren’t so into her, but she is going to take a lot of criticism from the fans, the critics, and everyone in the business. You know that don’t you?” He paused, allowing Nick to process everything he’d just said.

Nick’s heart sank; he had never thought about that before. He really loved her, he knew he did, but were his feelings for her enough to get them through all the barricades that would surely come? He was determined to be with her, they were meant to be together, that much he knew. His decision was unwavering in his mind. “I am prepared for everything you’ve just said. I think I have already proven I can handle her past and the issues we will have because of that. I also think that her not looking like anyone I’ve ever dated before is a great thing. Obviously those other relationships didn’t work, so trying something different is to my advantage, don’t you think?”

“I absolutely think,” AJ said as he smiled at Nick. “I hope you know I was just playing Devil’s advocate and trying to get you to look at the big picture. I want you to be happy and I know you want to get married and have a family, so I’m just trying to help you out.”

“Dude, I know, and I appreciate it. I’ve got your back too,” he laughed. It was his turn to get serious now. “Do you see yourself with Annie?” he asked.

“Honestly, at this point I don’t know,” he answered candidly. “There are so many things about her I love, and we get along so well, but I really don’t know.” He looked down at his hands. “At this point, if she is willing to give us a try, so am I. We could be so happy together, but she has to want that and allow it to happen.”

“I guess we both have our work cutout for us, don’t we?” Nick commented as he looked at his watch. “What are they doing in there? It’s been almost twenty minutes. I hope everything’s okay.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” said AJ with a smirk on his face. He got up off the couch and Nick followed suit. “Let’s go in there and see.” The two men walked over the door, opened, and stepped inside the hospital room. Smiles came across both their faces when they entered the room.

“Andrea?” Annie asked tentatively as she walked into Andrea’s hospital room. “The nurse said you wanted to see me?” Annie watched her cousin very carefully, not knowing if she remembered what happened or if she even knew who she was.

“Yeah, I did,” Andrea responded smiling. She pointed to the chair against the wall. “Pull it up, take a seat.” Annie did as Andrea instructed, still very uneasy about what Andrea was going to say to her.

“Do you remember?” was all Annie could say.

“Yeah, I do.” She smiled at her cousin again, tears burning her eyes. She held out her hand and Annie grabbed it, squeezing it tight. “Do you remember Christmas of 1993 when we were opening presents at Grandma and Grandpa’s house?” Annie smiled, knowing exactly what instance her cousin was talking about. “Aunt Dot gave me that beautiful porcelain horse figurine, even though I didn’t really like horses and you asked if you could have it because you loved horses. I said no, that it was mine and you grabbed it from me. I yelled at you to give it back, and you wouldn’t and I pushed you, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Annie said as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“You and the porcelain horse went flying….”

“Yeah, and both of us didn’t do too well on the landing either,” Annie laughed, recalling the incident like it was yesterday.

“You landed right on the horse and when it shattered a piece poked you in the butt….”

“And I had to get five stitches! I still have that scar you know!”

“I remember I was so afraid to talk to you after that, afraid that I had hurt you, afraid that you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore.” Andrea loved her cousin so much. She knew that if they were ever separated from each other a part of herself would be missing.

“You know I can never stay mad at you. I forgave you; it was only my butt after all. I was scared that you would never talk to me again because I broke your horse.”

“And I forgave you; I didn’t even like the horse!” They smiled at each other, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. “And I forgive you again.”

Annie jumped out of her chair and gently wrapped her arms around her best friend as best she could. “I love you. You are the best person I’ve ever known. And….you were right, by the way. Everything you said to me in the hallway was true. I am so sorry for what I said and the way I acted.”

“It doesn’t even matter who was right. I just hope you’ve figured out what you are going to do and where you’re going. Because I sure as hell know where I’m going, and that’s in whatever direction that sexy blond guy in the hallway is going!”

“Oh my God, Andrea, they still think you don’t remember who they are!” Annie shrieked, at that moment realizing herself that Andrea’s amnesia was gone. Annie let go of Andrea as she came to this epiphany and stood up. “Should I go get them?” she asked her cousin.

“In a minute,” she said, giggling at her cousin’s astounded expression. “I want one more hug from you while I can get it,” she snickered. “Unless I’m almost dead or you need something, hugs from you are few and far between!” Annie bent down and hugged her cousin again, both woman laughing. They were still embracing when they heard the door open as two people entered the room.

 

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Andrea smiled brightly as the two men walked into her room. She tapped Annie on the shoulder and her cousin released her from the hug.

“Hey boys, did you miss me?” Andrea asked playfully. She was tired of being the patient everyone was worried about; she wanted to get back to being herself again. She knew from Nick and AJ’s reactions to her question, things would get back to the way they should be very quickly.

“You bet we did,” Alex responded as he walked over to her bed and hugged her. She squirmed a little as his shoulder pressed against her broken arm and he jerked back quickly. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, worried that he had.

“No, Alex, you didn’t, I’m just ready to get out of this bed and put on some clothes,” she joked as she tugged at her hospital gown. “This isn’t what I call ‘stylish’ if you know what I mean.” They all laughed, but separate thoughts were running through their heads.

She said my name…. Alex thought, realizing that she had. I wonder if it was Nick’s dreamy eyes that did it? His internal crack at his friend make him snicker out loud, causing everyone to look at him inquisitively. “Nothing,” he said aloud to them, hoping they would let it go.

I am so happy that she remembers. I am so glad to have my best friend back. Where do we go from here though? Do we go back to Cincinnati and part ways with the guys, or do we go with them? These questions were running through Annie’s mind at a mile a minute.

Andrea saw the perplexed look on her cousin’s face. “What’s up?” she whispered to her cousin, trying not to draw attention to them.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she responded. Then she lowered her voice even further and said, “When they’re gone,” motioning to Nick and AJ with her head. Andrea nodded her head at her cousin, acknowledging that she understood and agreed.

I need to talk to her alone. I have to find out what she wants out of us and what her and Annie are planning on doing once we get back to Cincy, Nick told himself as Annie and Andrea were talking. I cannot believe everything that all of us have gone through in such a short time. It’s almost like a soap opera, he admitted as he chuckled out loud. Luckily, no one heard him the way they had heard Alex. I wonder what he was snickering about anyway?

Nick looked over at Andrea and noticed her staring at him. He life flickering in her eyes again, something that was missing during his previous visit to her bedside. He noticed her smile, the way it lit up her whole face. He noticed the way the curls in her hair, even though they were disheveled, cascaded onto her shoulders and framed her face so perfectly. He noticed her face was no longer pale and strained, but rather relaxed and filled with color. God, she looks beautiful even in that hospital gown with messy hair, he reflected to himself. I wonder what she will look like waking up next to me every morning?

Andrea wanted to kiss him so badly. She wanted to feel his arms around her, smell his cologne, and run her fingers through his short blond hair. She wanted to continue what had started in the shower yesterday, and she wanted more than anything else to be his wife. She missed being a wife and a mother, she missed sleeping next to someone every night and taking turns tucking the kids into bed, discussing what to have for dinner or whose turn it was to give the kids a bath. She missed fighting over the TV remote or what movie to watch. Of course, I have Annie for that, she laughed to herself, thinking of all the times they had disagreed on what movie to go see or what TV show to watch.

Andrea pointed her finger at Nick and then turned it around, curling it up and down, motioning for Nick to come to her. He smiled, liking the sultry way she did it, and walked over to her. “Yes, my love?” he asked in a sing-songy voice that made Andrea start to giggle.

“I want to talk to you, alone,” she said as she tilted her head towards Annie and Alex.

“Alright you two, get out,” he said laughing. “It’s alone time for the two couples.”

“Good idea,” AJ said, moving his eyebrows up and down at Annie. She just laughed and rolled her eyes at him. “Be back later sweetie,” he said to Andrea as he bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Annie chided as she hugged her cousin again.

“Well that pretty much leaves the door wide open then, don’t you think?” Andrea shot back at her, laughing as she said it. “Besides, I’m an injured woman, I don’t think I could get kinky even if I wanted to,” she added, pointing to her bandaged arm. She waved her hand at AJ and Annie as they walked out of the room, but as soon as the door was shut, she turned her whole focus to the sexy blond standing next to her bed.

“I have been waiting to do this since we got out of the shower yesterday,” she said seductively as she grabbed the front of his shirt. She tugged on it and he bent over at the waist, his face meeting her face, his lips meeting her lips. She pounced on them like a tiger on its prey, and kissed him hungrily. When she pulled back for air, she started laughing. “Sorry,” she giggled, watching the shocked look on his face start to fade away. “I didn’t mean to be so zealous, but you have no idea how badly I wanted to do that!”

“Oh, yes I do,” he said in a sexy voice. “Because I wanted it just as badly!” He lifted up his hand and softly ran the back of it against her face, carefully avoiding the area that was stitched up. “And I like it when you’re zealous. It’s so nice to be wanted the way you want me.”

He sat down on her bed, and gently lay down next to her, their heads resting on the same pillow. He looked into her eyes, no longer seeing the fear and anonymity that had filled them earlier. When she looked at him, she knew who he was, and that fact comforted him. As he lay there with her, all of their feelings for each other floating between them, he knew he never wanted to feel like he was without her again.

“Andrea?”

“What baby?”

“I know this sounds kind of old fashioned, but will you be my girl?” He turned his head to look directly at her, praying to God that she did not shoot him down.

“And what does ‘your girl’ have to do? I mean, what does the job entail?” she asked, laughing. She knew what she was going to say to him, but she loved teasing him and not giving into him right away. It’s something she always had a knack for, and used it on everybody, from her clients to her parents. As she had found in her more “mature” years of life, it also came in very handy in the bedroom.

“Well,” he started, playing right along with her, “You can’t ride on anybody else’s tour bus, you can’t give anyone else the tongue, and you can’t sing any of the other guys’ parts in songs, only mine.” She started giggling, her eyes twinkling from laughter.

“I guess I can handle that, although I do really like AJ’s vocal parts,” she said smiling at him seductively.

“As long as those are the only parts of AJ you like, I am happy,” he teased back.

“Well, Nickolas Gene Carter, I guess I’m your girl.”

He sat up so that he had one arm on each side of her, holding his body over hers. He kissed her tenderly, first on the lips, then onto her jaw line, then down to her neck. He moved her hospital gown to the side and kissed her collarbone. She started to wriggle underneath him and he knew she was nervous that he was going to keep going further down. He chuckled and started moving back up to her lips again.

“You think you’re pretty smooth, don’t you Mr. Carter?” she asked playfully, well aware of what he was doing.

“Well, hopefully soon you will be able to find out just how smooth I am.” He winked at her and licked his lips. He laid his head back down onto her pillow and turned his head to face her. She smiled at him, kissed him on the tip of the nose and then snuggled her face into his neck. He put his arm around her head and held her close. I can actually picture myself with this girl for the rest of my life. AJ was right, she is nothing like the girls I’ve dated before…. and that is defiantly a good thing.

 

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Around 9:00 that morning Dr. Yesenia stopped by Andrea’s room to check on her. She found Nick curled up in bed with Andrea and both of them were sleeping soundly. She gently awoke Andrea so she could see how she was doing.

“Good morning,” Dr. Yesenia said smiling. “I guess it was a pretty late night last night. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling great,” responded Andrea as she wiped the sleep out of her eyes. “I remember everything, and I am so ready to get out of this place. We have to be in Chicago by mid morning tomorrow so please tell me that I can leave soon,” Andrea begged. Dr. Yesenia smiled at her again, knowing how she felt.

“Well, then the news I have for you is good,” Dr. Yesenia answered.

“I want to hear good news too,” said Nick groggily.

“Oh, you’re awake. Well, I will tell you both the good news then. The tests that we ran during the night showed us what we expected, so other than the mild concussion and the broken arm, you are ready to go. I will get your discharge papers ready and I’ll send the nurses in to get you unhooked from the IV and help you get dressed.” Andrea was so excited to leave the hospital that she made no attempt to hide it.

“Thank you so much Dr. Yesenia,” she squealed as Nick kissed her on the cheek. “If you see Annie in the hall, can you send her in?”

“Sure. Just sit tight, the nurses will be in shortly.” Dr. Yesenia patted Andrea’s leg and gave her one last smile, and then she walked out the door. Within a few seconds two nurses walked into Andrea’s room, but they were not Stacie and Amanda.

“I’m going to go out and find AJ and Annie and let them know what’s going. I’ll be back in a little while,” Nick said as he kissed her on the forehead. He did not want to invade her privacy and be in there while she got dressed. I want to see her naked, but not in the hospital, he thought as he exited the room.

“Hi there,” one of the nurses said very cheerfully. “Stacie and Amanda’s shifts ended about 3:00 this morning, so we are taking over for them. I’m Katie.”

“And I’m Tammy,” the other nurse jumped in to introduce herself. She walked over to Andrea’s bed and started disconnecting the IV tubes. When the only part left was the needle stuck in Andrea’s hand, she stopped for a minute. “Now, this part might hurt a little bit, but it won’t be as bad as putting it in.” She smiled and grabbed hold of Andrea’s hand and pulled the tape off first. Then she gently and slowly slid the needle out and quickly covered the hole with a Band-Aid.

Andrea had been holding her breath the whole time, trying to not think about the pain. “Okay, honey, breathe,” said Katie as she approached the bed. Andrea let out her breath with one big blow.

“Wow, who would have thought that would hurt so much, I’ve had two kids for crying out loud!” Andrea said laughing.

“Yeah, but that pain is different,” said Katie as she untied Andrea’s hospital down. “Okay chicky, let’s get you out of this gown and into some clothes.” She helped Andrea slide her good arm out of the sleeve, then she unbuttoned the shoulder snaps on the other arm of the gown so that it fell down off Andrea’s body without disturbing her injured arm.

Tammy took of the bandages that were connecting Andrea’s arm to her body so that they could get Andrea’s shirt back on. Once that task was completed, the bandages were replaced with a sling to keep her arm stationary. As they were helping Andrea button her pants, the door to her room opened and Annie walked in.

“Do you need any help or you go it okay?”

“Can you try and do something with my hair?” Andrea asked, catching a look of herself in the mirror. Katie and Tammy left to tell Dr. Yesenia that Andrea was ready to leave and Annie started fixing Andrea’s hair. Five minutes later, she was ready to go. Dr. Yesenia came back into the room to give Andrea her discharge papers and instructions for her arm. Once they had gone through that information, Annie did one final sweep of the room making sure nothing was going to be left behind.

“Well, that looks like everything,” she said smiling. “Unless you’d like to stay here a few more days.”

“Very funny,” Andrea said sarcastically. “I need to get out of here and into some clean and comfortable clothes though,” she said tugging at her jeans that had blood stains on them from when her head was bleeding. She looked at her shirt which also had blood stains on it. She had no makeup on, her hair was still tousled, and the area where she had stitches was bruised. “I look like a serial killer,” she concluded in an unhappy tone.

Annie could not help but laugh at what her cousin said and the pitiful look that was plastered on her face. “Don’t worry Andi, you can take a shower on the bus and clean up. You’ll feel better then.” Annie put her arm around Andrea’s shoulder and escorted out of the hospital room that was no longer hers. As they walked into the hallway many familiar smiling faces greeted them.

“How do you feel sweetie?” Howie asked as he gave Andrea a hug.

“I feel like I was hit by a Mac truck to be honest, but it will only get better,” she said smiling. She winked at Nick, and he knew she meant that he will help make her better.

“You gave us quite a scare,” Brian admitted as he took his turn to hug Andrea.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Andrea replied with a sheepish look on her face. “Where are Baylee and Leighanne?” she asked looking down the hall for them.

“They took my bus and went onto Chicago earlier this morning. They are going to meet us at the hotel. “Baylee really wanted to go swimming.”

“Oh, I see,” Andrea laughed. “Let’s get out of here,” she said vibrantly. Nick wrapped his arm around her and they walked down the hall to the elevator together. Alex and Annie following right behind them, however they were not walking so closely together. Brian, Howie and Kevin walked behind Alex and Annie, and noticed the happy couple did not seem to be so happy anymore.

“I wonder what’s up with them,” Kevin mentioned to Brian and Howie. “They sure don’t seem like the same two people as yesterday.”

Annie and Alex heard what Kevin said, but there was no arguing his point. They definitely were not acting like they had yesterday, but neither one of them really knew why.

“We need to talk,” Alex whispered into Annie’s ear as they stepped onto the elevator. “Will you ride on my bus with me to Cincinnati?”

Annie looked into his deep chocolate eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. She nodded her head up and down, and without thinking slid her hand into his forcing him to hold it. She thought he might pull his hand away, but instead she felt his hand tighten around hers. We definitely need to talk, she thought to herself as the elevator shot down to the ground floor. But I know we are going to be okay. All of us are going to be okay.

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

 

            When the seven of them walked out of the hospital, they were greeted by the five large tour buses that had been taking the boys throughout the country since the beginning of summer. 

 

            “This definitely isn’t something you see everyday,” Andrea laughed.  “Are you coming on Nick’s bus with me….or are you riding on AJ’s bus?” she whispered to her cousin who had found her way to Andrea’s side. 

 

            “I am going on Alex’s bus, but I’m kind of scared about it.  We have some stuff to talk about and you know how I don’t deal with confrontation very well.”

 

            “Yeah, I know.  But if you want to make it work with him, you going to have to deal with this.  We didn’t even get a chance to talk yet about what we are to do when we get to Cincy.  What are you thinking we should do?”

 

            “I don’t know, I mean this trip was supposed to be just us, and you ‘finding yourself’ again, which I guess has happened remarkably fast by the way, but wouldn’t it be kind of crazy to just go on our own and be sitting in the audience watching them perform and drive around the country without them thinking the whole time how much we like them and how much they like us?  Do you know what I mean?”

 

            “Of course I know what you mean.  But at the same time, I think it’s kind of crazy that we’ve just become attached to them after a few days and we would be touring around with them like we are supposed to be there.  We are going to have to leave them sometime, I mean we can’t leave Wisconsin and you move to California and me to Florida, which just won’t work.  And I feel really weird right now anyway falling in love with someone like this.  I keep thinking this is all some crazy ass dream and I’m going to wake up in our hotel room.”  Andrea paused and sighed.  She saw Nick motioning for her to get on the bus and her stomach turned upside down.  “After you and Alex talk you’ll have a better idea of where you two are headed.  Call me when you’re done and we will figure out what we are going to do, okay?”

 

            “10-4,” Annie joked as she walked onto AJ’s bus.  Andrea stepped onto Nick’s and the caravan of tour buses slowly pulled out of the hospital parking lot with Cincinnati as the destination. 

 

 

            “Come here baby and sit down,” AJ suggested to Annie as soon as the bus started moving.  Annie appeased him and took a seat next to him on the couch.  She turned her body so it was facing him and propped her leg up on the couch so she was sitting half Indian style with the other leg hanging off the couch.  She looks so cute when she sits like that Alex thought to himself.  Concentrate Alex, stop thinking cute thoughts about her, you have a job to do. 

 

            “Alex, I want to start, if that’s okay,” she told him.  If she was actually going to have this conversation, she wanted to have the leverage on it and control of it.  He just nodded, anxious to see what she had to say.  She took a deep breath, exhaled, and began.  “First of all, I want to apologize again for the way I acted in your hotel room last night.  I did not mean to freak out and leave.  I am not trying to make excuses for myself, but I want you to know I am not very good with confrontation and my instinct is to run away or avoid it.”  She stopped to catch her breath and regroup.  Why am I so nervous?  I feel like I am in the fourth grade and I’m giving my very first speech in front of my entire class or something. 

 

            She took a couple more deep breaths and continued.  “The reason I was so scared and afraid of being in a relationship with you is that I was hurt terribly by my ex-fiancé.  Like, to the point where I swore off relationships with men altogether after it happened.  You are the first person I’ve even gotten close to, other than one night stands or casual sex, since the breakup.  I’m not proud of how I’ve handled the whole situation with Antoine and the situation with you, but I really didn’t know any other way to until now.”  She stopped again, this time more for Alex than herself.  She wanted to give him a chance to interject if he felt so compelled to.

 

            “Can I ask what happened with you and Antoine?” he asked, poking fun at her ex’s name. 

 

            “You can ask,” she said smiling at him, “but before you say anything else about his name, you should know he was from France.  It’s not like his parents hated him and named him that out of spite or anything.”  They both chuckled a little bit, and it felt good to Annie to make fun of him.  Stupid bastard should rot in hell instead of having jokes made about his name though, she thought coldly, her eyes glazing over in anger.  AJ touched her leg and the anger instantaneously disappeared.  “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.  “I still get really angry when I think about him.”

 

            “So what did he do to make you so angry?”

 

            “He cheated on me.  And not just cheated, like really dirty and low cheated.  He slept with his secretary, in our bed while I was at the studio producing a jingle for his company.”  AJ looked at her compassionately, his own guilt about being unfaithful to a few of his girlfriends rising in his throat.  “And,” she continued, “When her and her husband were over for dinner one night, she and Antoine had sex in my newly redecorated bathroom, which cost me a small fortune I might add, while I was making dinner and entertaining her husband because we didn’t know where they were!” 

 

            “Oh honey, I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he said quietly, knowing first hand how much it hurts to be cheated on.  He’d seen that same look on his girlfriends’ faces, and he heard the same frustration in all their voices when they’d found out what he had done.  “I can understand now why you reacted the way you did at the thought of being in a possible relationship.”  He looked down at his hands, knowing that he had to come clean with her about his past infidelity issues…that is if she didn’t already know about them.  It was pretty much broadcast throughout the entire fucking world I think. 

 

            “What are you thinking about?” she asked him, seeing that his eyes had blank look about them. 

 

            “There’s something that I need to tell you,” he started, taking her hands in his.  “It’s not the person I am anymore, you have to trust me when I say that, but I made some mistakes in past relationships too.”

 

            “You cheated on a couple of your girlfriends, I know,” she said before he had a chance too.  “I may not be the biggest ‘know everything about the Backstreet Boys’ person in the world, but I do follow some stuff,” she said matter of factly.  “That was another reason I was so unsure about ‘us’.  I didn’t want to the adage of ‘once a cheater always a cheater’ to be proven by me.”  He continued to look down at his hands, and she hoped that she did not hurt him by what she said. 

 

            “I understand,” he simply said.  “I don’t blame you one bit.” He looked up and grabbed a hold of her by the arms, squeezing slightly.  “But you have to believe me that it’s not like that anymore; I’m not like that anymore!”  He was practically shaking her as he said it, as if he were desperate to prove it to her. 

 

            “Alex, I know that so much has changed in your life since then.  I am so proud of everything you’ve accomplished and changed in your life, and I do believe you when you say you’re not that person anymore.  I want to take this next step with you and move past just being friends with benefits.  I just have to convince myself that I can do this, convince myself that I can be in love again that not every man is the enemy.”  She made an evil face at the end, trying to get him to laugh.  It worked.

 

            “You’re so kooky and I love that about you,” he said as he pulled her into a hug.  “So, let me see if I got this right-you were hurt, you don’t want to be hurt again, you want to be in love again, and you want me to be the one you fall in love with?”  He smirked as he said it, waiting for her response.  She smiled, Alex unable to see because they were still embracing, and cleared her throat.  She turned her head so that her lips were brushing against his hot, tender ear lobes and her breath was beating down on his neck. 

 

            “I’ve already fallen in love with you,” she whispered sensually into his ear, quickly followed by a gentle nibble on his flesh.  “But other than that, you got it.”  She grabbed the hair on the back of his head and yanked it back, forcing him to turn his face toward hers.  She slammed her lips into his, her tongue plunging into his mouth and colliding with his tongue.  They kissed zealously, almost frantically, as if they were afraid the moment would end too soon. 

 

            When they finally broke apart, both were breathless and red with desire and perspiration.  Alex leaned into her again, as if he were going to repeat what they just experienced, but only grazed his lips against hers and moved on to her ear.  “I’ve already fallen in love with you too,” he moaned into her ear so low it made it vibrate.  A sigh escaped her lips, followed by a simple request. 

 

            “Will you do something with me that I haven’t done in a really long time?  Will you make love to me?”  The tone in her voice was so sincere and destitute, Alex knew exactly what she meant by her question.  She did not want to be fucked, or screwed, or boned, she wanted to romanced, taken care of, she wanted it to be deep and passionate, not cheap and casual. 

 

            Without saying a word, he grabbed her hand and led her to the bed in the back of the bus.  They made gentle, sweet, deep love until they both collapsed onto the bed, completely exhausted, and completely satisfied.

           

Chapter 30 Chapter 30

 

            Once Nick and Andrea had gotten settled on the bus, Andrea took a shower and changed into clean clothes.  She was starving, so Nick had prepared some food for the two of them while she was in the shower.  They decided to watch a movie while they ate, and carried the food into the bedroom, popped a movie into the DVD player, and ate picnic-style on the king sized bed in the back of the bus. 

 

“You know AJ really well, so what do you think he’ll do with Annie?” Andrea asked as the credits were rolling at the end of the movie.  “Is he the type of guy that will stick it out with her and try and make it work or does he flee at the first sign of turbulence?”

 

            “Well, if you would have asked me that a few years ago, I would have said they do not stand a chance, but now a days, I am not so sure,” Nick replied honestly as he got up to take the DVD out of player.  “AJ is a lot different with woman than he used to be, and it’s actually for the better, but I can’t read him like I used to be able to.”  He walked back over to the bed and plopped down on it, sitting adjacent to Andrea.

 

            I wonder how it is going, she thought to herself. It’s been over two hours and she hasn’t called me yet; I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

 

            “They are both adults, they can make their own decisions.  I don’t want to talk about them anymore, I want to talk about us,” Andrea said as she turned her body towards Nick and a cloud of seriousness formed over the two of them.  “We have a little less than two hours until we get to Cincinnati and then Annie and I each have a decision to make.  She is going to call me when her and Alex finish talking and let me know where they stand and what she wants to do, but what about me?  Where do we stand?”

 

            “Together, we stand together.”

 

            “It’s not that simple Nick and you know it.  Yes, theoretically I could tour around the country with you for the next two and a half weeks with no problems, but what happens after my vacation is done?  When you have to continue touring and I have to go back to my house and my company and my life before you came into it, what then?  I don’t want to spend the next two weeks falling even more in love with you and then have to rip myself away and go back to ‘normal’.”  Tears started to well in her eyes as she said this for so many reasons. 

 

            “We are not going to be touring forever Andrea.  There is going to be a time when things settle down and I return home and live a semi-normal life until the next time the job calls.  I guess you’re forgetting the five-year hiatus we just came off of.  I am not always just the Backstreet Boy you know and love, I do have a lot of time when I’m just Nick.”

 

            “I understand that, but like you said, you just came off quite a long break, and I highly doubt that you guys are going to just go on break again after this tour.  That wouldn’t make for a very good comeback, now would it?” she stated, sarcasm hanging off of her every syllable.  Her face was getting redder with every irritated breath she took in and blew out.  “And another thing, your home is nowhere near my home so even when you are just being ‘Nick’, you’re going to be doing it hundreds of miles away from me!”

 

            Nick in turn was getting more frustrated and angry at the situation with every moment that past and every word she uttered.  “So what are you saying?  Do you not want to be together?  Do you want to just continue on your little road trip with your cousin and forget about me and your feelings?”  The questions came snarling out of his mouth so rapidly and fiercely he had no time to control himself. 

           

“I don’t know Nick, okay!  I don’t know!  What do expect me to do?  Are you waiting for me to tell you that I will go with you anywhere and leave everything that’s left in my fucked up life and move to Florida with you?  Do you want me to tell you that I will follow around the world like a little puppy and be your beck and call girl, available and willing to carry out your every whim?”  She was practically yelling now, hurtful remarks flying freely from her lips to his ears.  Nick was so fired up at this point that he was ready to shoot right back at her, but he didn’t. 

 

            “You’re absolutely right,” he said quietly, looking down at his hands.  “I guess that is what I was expecting you to do, and it’s not fair of me.  I assumed that you would drop everything and leave your life, make a new life with me and not look back.”  His voice cracked as he spoke and he felt ashamed for thinking that she would just follow him everywhere without giving it a second thought.  “That’s what I was hoping you would do.  Wouldn’t the life that I will give you, a life with me, be better than what you would be leaving?”  To him, the question sounded very genuine and sincere, but when it hit her eardrums, it sounded pompous and supercilious.

 

            “You have some nerve, you know that?  Obviously that is what you are used to, and I’m not like that.  You are so used to always getting your way, to having girls throw themselves at you and tell you they would do anything for you and be so goddamn dependant and desperate for you, and if that is what you are looking for, then I am not the woman for you.”  She turned away from him, her face on fire and her body shaking.  She stood there for a minute, feeling his beautiful blue eyes watching her. 

 

What am I doing?  Only me, it would only happen to me.  Any other girl who lost the love of her life and tried to get back on the horse and ride again would find a guy at a bar, or a co-worker, or a friend of a friend, but no, not me, I have to jump onto the saddle of a Backstreet Boy.  What in the hell am I thinking?  Her reflection on the situation hurt her deeply.  My heart already hurts, and he’s still here.  I can’t do this.  She gasped aloud unintentionally as she came to her conclusion. 

 

God give me strength, she prayed.  She turned back around to face him, and her eyes fell onto his.  Those eyes, they see right through me.  Please God, put a shade over his eyes this one time, let me get away with this.  Don’t let him see how much I really love him, and don’t let him see that I’m lying to him. 

 

 When she opened her mouth to say something, this time she dropped her voice to almost a whisper, hopelessness and desolation overriding her humiliation and resentment that had caused her to yell before.  “I think I may have made mistake,” she started, dedicating every ounce of being left in her to avoiding his eyes.  “When we get back to Cincinnati…” Her cell phone rang as she was talking, causing her to stop abruptly mid sentence and answer it. 

 

“What’s wrong?” the voice on the other end asked. 

 

“Nick and I are in the middle of something,” Andrea replied, emphasizing the last word.  “How’d it go with Alex?”

 

“What would you say if we continued our road trip, but instead of us driving, we let the bus driver take us around the country, if you know what I mean?”

 

Andrea went silent, completely in awe of what she was hearing.  How could the tables have turned so drastically?  How can I be the one who’s running away from love and Annie, queen of non- commitment, wants to toddle around the country with the Backstreet Boys?  Andrea was so caught off guard, so many different emotions and thoughts running through her mind that she didn’t even know where to begin. 

 

“Annie, if that’s what you want to do, then do it.  I’m out,” she said flatly as she snapped the flip shut on her phone.  She knew her cousin all to well, and decided to turn the power off on it to prevent a return call from her cousin.  She realized that during her conversation with Annie she had turned away from Nick again, a reflex she was becoming accustomed to in order to avoid his eyes. 

 

She turned back toward him, formulating the line of bullshit she was going to give him as her way out.  He’s going to see right through it; no matter what explanation I give him he’s going to see right through it..  Feeling there was absolutely no way to do this without hurting him, she decided to just say it.  “Nick, when we get back to Cincinnati I’m leaving,” was all she said.  She was focusing on her hands, never looking up at him. 

 

She doesn’t mean it, he thought to himself, almost amused that she was trying to so hard to successfully lie to him.  “Look me in the eyes and tell me that,” he challenged her.

 

Dammit dammit dammit, she cursed to herself.  He’s either so full of himself that he thinks this is just a game, or he’s so smooth and intuitive…. urgh, I just want to strangle him!   She decided the only way she was going to get through this was to be a bitch to him, something she didn’t have a lot of practice doing, but felt she could carry out convincingly. 

 

            “I don’t have to look you eyes to say it, no matter where I look when I say it, it means the same thing Nickolas.  I made a mistake, and I’m leaving before I make anymore.  So stop trying your little mind games and the ‘do this, do that’ crap, because it’s over.  This whole charade is over!”  She turned away from him yet again, and a feeling of not being able to breathe was coming over her.  I’m going to hyperventilate, and he’s going to have to give me mouth to mouth, and then I’m never going to get away from him.  Her thoughts were erratic, but she could not help it. 

 

            “Andrea, sit down, you’re swaying back and forth,” Nick instructed. 

 

            “I’m looking for my pain pills,” Andrea snapped back, trying to stay out of the “pit” she was now referring to as “Nick’s love”.  She was growing weary, and fighting her feelings and fighting him were exhausting her even more.  She knew she was getting close to falling into “the pit” again.  I’m sure this isn’t what Dr. Yesenia had meant when she said that I needed to rest and relax for a little while. 

 

            “They’re right here,” he said extending his hand to her.  “I guess you don’t remember that you gave them to me to hold on to because you said you would lose them otherwise, and since you were going to be with me for the next week or so, it would be okay.”  The icy tone he was using caused a chill to run down her spine. 

 

            “Yeah, I guess it did say that,” she admitted as she grabbed the bottle of pills from his hand.  Mother Fucker, it’s going to be mighty hard opening this with only one hand, she cursed again to herself.  She was going to try everything under the sun before getting help from Nick though.  That will just give him more fuel for the fire, she told herself as the pig-headed German side of her kicked in.  I am my mother’s daughter, she joked as she held the cap between her teeth and turned the bottle around with her good hand.  She still could not get the bottle open.

 

            “Here, let me help you,” Nick said, his voiced softened and warmed since his last statement to her.  He pulled the bottle out of her mouth and twisted open the cap, pouring two pills into the palm of his hand.  He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and opened it for her.  “Open,” he instructed and once she did, he placed the two pills in her mouth and handed her the bottle of water.  She smiled at him as she swallowed the pills and handed the bottle of water back to him.

 

            “Thank you,” she said, not resisting the urge to look in his eyes anymore. 

 

            “Anytime.”

 

            “I’m still leaving when we get back to Cincinnati,” she told him, as her words began to slur and the effects of the pain medication were setting in.  She lay back on the bed and Nick put a pillow up her arm to give it support.  He brushed her curls off her forehead and then bent down and kissed it. 

 

            “Whatever you say, my love,” he whispered in her ear as she drifted off to sleep.  “But you and I both know you don’t mean it.”

 

            He got off the bed and grabbed her cell phone.  He turned he power back on and waited for it to load up.  He was beginning to know Annie the way Andrea already did, and he knew she had been trying to call back for the last fifteen minutes.  As soon as the power was full on the phone it began to ring. 

 

            “Annie, it’s Nick, we need to talk.”

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“This isn’t happening,” Annie breathed into the phone after Nick filled her in on the happenings within the past two hours. “What is she doing? She’s crazy about you!” Annie hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “How much longer until we get to Cincinnati?”

“About an hour and half. I’m sure she’ll sleep the rest of the way, and it might take an air horn to wake her up once we get there!”

“Sh*t,” Annie said, frustrated with the situation. “I need to talk to her. Those D*mn pain pills!” She continued to curse into phone, something Nick found very amusing. She suddenly became silent and Nick heard nothing on the other end of the phone.

“Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking, hold on a sec.” I wonder if this has anything to do with the conversation we heard earlier? she thought to herself. After a few minutes of silence, with the exception of a few huffs and sighs, she came back on the line. “Okay, when we get to Cincinnati, get Andrea in our car and she and I will drive to Chicago on our own. When she wakes up, I am going to find out what’s going on and we’ll meet up at the hotel in Chicago, okay?”

“I suppose that will have to be okay,” Nick said sadly. He and Annie finished hashing the details of the trip to Chicago, and then he asked for her to put AJ on the phone.

“What’s up man? I guess things are not going so well huh?”

“Well, right now they are because she’s sleeping, but they weren’t going so well about thirty minutes ago. You are singing a different tune though I understand!”

“Oh, you know,” he chided back. “The girl can’t keep her hands off me.” Nick heard a slap and an “ouch” on the other end and started laughing.

“That sounded like it hurt,” he teased his friend. “You can’t say stuff like that in front of that girl; she’s not going to put up with it!” Nick could hardly hold the phone he was laughing so hard.

“Dude, shut up. Besides, I kind of like that she whips me…I mean she’s got me whipped,” he joked back. “I’m going to catch a little shut eye before we get to Cincinnati.”

“A’ight, dude, later.”

Nick closed Andrea’s phone and set it back in her purse. He walked over to the bed and watched her as she was sleeping. He watched her eyes flutter as she dreamed, he watched her chest rise and fall with her every breath, he smiled as he noticed that same curl he constantly brushed off her forehead had fallen back onto it again. He sat down next to her and gently brushed his hand across her temple and onto her forehead, moving the curl aside once more. She stirred slightly, a heavy sigh escaping her beautiful pink lips.

“I know you love me,” he whispered as he continued stroking her hair. “I know you’re lying to me, and to yourself. When I look into your gorgeous green eyes I can see into your soul and it tells me everything you can’t or won’t.” He bent down and kissed her slightly parted lips softly, causing her to stir some more. “You’re the only woman I want to love for the rest of my life, so I’ll be here when you’re ready to stop hiding.”

As he left her there to sleep and walked into the kitchen area to clean up the mess he’d made earlier he reflected on his statement earlier. Should I wait around for her? What if she goes back to Wisconsin and I never hear from her again? I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.


When she heard Nick tinkering in the kitchen she abruptly opened her eyes, blinking several times in an attempt to keep the tears that were brimming at bay. “Nick, I do love you,” she whispered, crying softly. “But I’m not what you need. You’re not going to understand if I tell you, just the way you didn’t understand when AJ was trying to tell you.”

She had heard what Nick and Alex were saying in the hallway at the hospital while Annie was in her room. Annie had not shut the door all the way when she came in and they both heard Nick and Alex’s conversation about Andrea not being right for Nick in the eyes of the business.

He’s got so much to deal with already; he doesn’t need me adding to it. He’s just too infatuated to see it right now, but when I’m gone and he’s moved on, he’ll thank me. She laid there, mulling over every detail of the plan she was concocting in her mind. She decided that as soon as the bus came to a stop, she was going to sneak out the emergency exit and before anyone realized she wasn’t there, she would be in her car and driving out of the parking lot. Annie can go with Alex then like she wants to and I get back to the company and to my life before Nickolas Gene Carter was more than a dream and wish in it.

She heard footsteps approaching and she quickly closed her eyes and slipped back into the sleep filled state Nick expected to find her in. She heard him walk over to the bed and she could feel him staring at her. He stood there for a good ten minutes, just watching her. Don’t you have something better to do than watch me pretend to sleep, she thought to herself, praying he would leave soon. A second later she heard the bedroom door shut and his footsteps getting further and further away.

From my lips to God’s ears, she joked to herself as she quietly got off the bed and grabbed her cell phone. She looked at the time and realized they should be getting to the hotel shortly. I better get my a$s in gear and start getting stuff ready if I’m going to get out of here.

She started putting her plan in motion. She typed a text message to Annie explaining herself and changed the preference on it from ‘send immediately’ to ‘delay sending’ and decided that ten minutes should be just about perfect. After she double checked that the message would go out in ten minutes, she started to gather her things. Sh*t, my suitcases are not going to fit through the exit, she realized with frustration. Jesus Christ, forget it. I need to go shopping anyway; I’ll just buy new clothes. Besides, I can get away faster without them.

Andrea felt the bus slowing down and she new they were pulling off the interstate. Please God, you didn’t help me lie to him, so you still owe me one. Just let me get off this bus and into my car without getting caught. Before she could finish her prayer, she heard the driver come over the intercom.

“Nick, can you come up by me for a minute? We have a slight situation.” Perfect! A diversion, that’s great! I guess that’s why you are God, because you think of things that other people don’t! She looked out the window and saw that they were right down the street from the hotel.

Wow, that’s a great diversion, she told herself as she continued to look out the window. A car full of girls must have followed them from Pittsburgh, and they were now parked along the side of the road, completely topless, waving signs that read “I’ve got the lotion, all I need is you” and “You don’t want these to burn, do you?” with arrows pointed in the direction of their breast.

The bus slowly made its way past the girls and pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. Andrea spotted her car and was very pleased with where she had decided to park it the other day. It was behind some bushes and she knew as long as she could get off the bus, she could make it to her car unseen. The fact that Nick’s bus was the last in the caravan didn’t hurt her chances either.

She silently walked over to the door to the bedroom and flipped the lock. That will slow them down a bit before they realize I’m not here, she satisfactorily thought. She grabbed her purse, made sure everything she needed was in it, grabbed her car keys out of it, and walked over to the emergency exit and quickly lifted the handle and pushed it open. Without looking back she jumped off the bus and ran like the wind towards her car.

She pressed the remote start button on her keys and heard you car start up as she approached it. She flung open the door and leaped into the driver’s seat, pulling the door shut so quickly it almost closed on her foot. Thank God this car has an automatic transmission, or I’d be screwed, she thought to herself as she slammed the gear stick back to reverse and backed out of the parking stall at what her Driver’s Ed. teacher would have called an “unsafe speed”. This is going to be hard enough driving with only one arm.

As she shifted her car into drive she saw Nick running towards her, waving his arms and yelling, followed by Annie and the rest of the guys. She heard her phone beep, alerting her that the text message to her cousin had been sent. Please understand Annie. Don’t come after me and don’t try and change my mind. Be happy with Alex and leave it at that, she begged her cousin in her mind. It’s better this way. She peeled out of the back entrance to the hotel and sped toward the interstate without looking back into the rearview mirror.

 

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

As they stood there stunned, completely in shock of what just happened, Annie’s cell phone beeped. She quickly grabbed it, hoping it was a message from Andrea giving her more insight into what was going on.

“Is that from her?” Nick asked, panic stricken and in disbelief that Andrea just peeled out of the parking lot and out of his life. “What the hell is she doing?”

“Nick, calm down,” said Howie, placing his hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” he yelled, not so much at his friend who was just trying to help, but more so for himself. He needed to yell, to scream, to punch something. He was confused, hurt, and beside himself. “GOD **** IT! Urgh-AH!” he yelled as loud as he could, kicking the side of the bus in anger. “I don’t believe this!”

“What does it say Annie?” AJ asked, leaning over her shoulder to read the message on the tiny screen of the cell phone.

“First off, I’m sorry for taking off on you. If I had told you what I was planning, you would have tried to come with me. I know you want to stay with Alex, and this way you have no choice about it. I just could not stay a part of Nick’s life after what Alex said. He’s right, and the only way Nick will realize it is if I’m not there to cloud his judgment. Please let him know I am sorry, I never meant to deceive him or hurt him, not that he believed my lies anyway. Call me when you are alone, I really need to talk to you. Love you, Andi.”

Nick’s attention had been focused on Annie reading the text message aloud, but turned it to Alex as Annie finished. “Did you say something to her?” His face was getting a deeper shade of red with every word Annie read, and now as he confronted his best friend, it was almost purple.

“She, well we, heard you two talking in the hallway last night about all the crap you will take from the media, fans, and other celebrities for dating her. She didn’t say anything about it, so I didn’t think it even fazed her,” she interjected before Nick got into it with AJ.

“She heard us? You both heard us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex asked her, concern mounting layer by layer onto his beautiful face.

“I didn’t really think about it either. I know you were just playing devil’s advocate and Nick did a really great job of drowning the doubts you were throwing at him. I guess I figured Andrea thought the same way and that’s why she didn’t say anything either.”

“Well, obviously NOT, because she’s GONE NOW!” he yelled again, his voice rising and rising, along with his blood pressure. “Let’s get the buses moving and see if we can catch up to her, or something! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!”

“Nick, please listen to me. I know you think you know her really well, and for the most part you do, but you have to listen to me when I tell you that is the wrong thing to do,” Annie stated to him matter-of-factly. “She doesn’t want anyone trying to stop her or change her mind. For some reason, she feels that you being with her is inadequate, that she is not what you need.”

“So wouldn’t going after her and showing her she is wrong be the best thing to do?” Nick said, calming down as he began to understand what Annie was saying.

“No man, you have to let her think that what she did wasn’t the right thing to do, she has to realize it on her own,” Kevin said, jumping into the conversation. “You know, Kristin did something similar when we first got together. She was so scared of the flack we would both take for being together, she almost backed out. That’s why we were on again/off again for a little while.”

“I didn’t know that,” Nick sighed, realizing that Kevin may be right. “So what do we do now?”

“We get on the buses and head to Chicago,” said Brian, looking at his watch. “She knows where we are headed to, and if she’s changed her mind already, she’ll know where to find us.” They all nodded their heads and piled back onto the buses. As they pulled back out onto the frontage road heading toward the interstate, Annie excused herself and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Andrea’s number. It rang several times and then went to voicemail. Why aren’t you answering? Annie thought to herself as Andrea’s voicemail recording came on. She left a message telling Andrea to call her as soon as she could.


Andrea had driven about thirty miles when her cell phone started ringing. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was Annie. She was going to grab it when she realized she had only one good arm and she needed that to steer the car. She let it go to voicemail, telling herself she would call her as soon as she stopped to rest. She was still feeling groggy from the pain pills she had taken and was not sure how much farther she’d be able to drive.

If I had to stop every thirty miles to rest, this is going to be a very long trip home, she told herself as she concentrated on the road. I guess I just won’t be able to take my pills for a while. She drove a few more miles before she remembered that Nick still had her pills with him. “Son of a…” she started, unhappy with herself for giving them to him to hold in the first place. “This trip isn’t going to just be long, it’s going to be painful,” she admitted aloud, grimacing as she tried to move her bandaged arm.

Three hours and twenty-seven minutes later, she was approaching the Southern most suburbs of Chicago. How in the hell I made it this far, I’ll never know, she said to herself, as she drove closer and closer to Chicago. The traffic began to pick up the closer she got to city as rush hour was upon her. She decided to stop at a rest area along the interstate and call Annie.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed her cousin’s number. She only heard a half of a ring before Annie picked up.

“Where are you? Are you okay? What were you thinking? You have a broken arm, you’re doped up on pain medication, and you take off by yourself in a car!”

“I’m fine Annie, just a little tired. I am at a rest stop along the interstate, just outside Chicago. The traffic is getting pretty heavy and I’m not sure I can drive anymore. My arm is just killing me and I don’t have my pain pills, Nick still has them.”

“Stay right where you are, I’m coming to get you,” Annie ordered into the phone and then disconnected the call. She set the phone down and walked up to the front of the bus to talk to the driver. “Fall behind Nick’s bus so we are last in line, then pull off the interstate at the rest stop just before Chicago. We are getting Andrea.”

The bus driver nodded and within thirty minutes they were pulling off the interstate and into the rest area, but Andrea and her car were no where to be seen.

 

Chapter 33 Chapter 33

 

            Andrea heard her cell phone ringing and she didn’t need to look to see who it was.  Annie, leave me alone, she thought to herself, but answered it anyway.  Before she took off from the rest area, she had thought ahead and hooked the hands free set up to her cell phone before she began driving so she could talk and drive at the same time. 

 

            “Where are you?  I am at the rest stop and I cannot find you,” Annie shouted into the phone, knowing darn well that Andrea had taken off. 

 

            “You know where I am, so don’t even start.  The whole point of me leaving was to get out of Nick’s life, and all you’re trying to do is keep me around and in it.  You are right, it was very irresponsible of me to drive with a broken arm and after taking pain pills, but I’m fine.  And since I’m only four hours from home, I am just going to drive straight through and sleep in my own bed tonight.”

 

            “You are being a hypocrite, don’t you think?  You wouldn’t let me walk out on Alex, but you’re walking out on Nick.  Why can you do it, but I can’t?”

 

            “I’m not doing it to avoid commitment, I don’t have those issues.  I did it for him.  I don’t want him to be with me, it’s not fair to him.  I do not want to be the reason he is under fire from the media and the fans.  I don’t want other celebrities trying to figure out why he is dating me, or having to defend our relationship to them.  I did this for him!”  She was so busy standing on her soapbox that she didn’t realize it wasn’t Annie on the line anymore.

 

            “That’s bullshit,” a male voice yelled back at her through the phone.  “You don’t want to be the one that has to deal with it.  You don’t want people picking apart your past, or criticizing you or critiquing you, you don’t want to have to defend our relationship or have to convince people that you are the right girl for me and that I’m the right guy for you!”

 

            “Nick, what are you doing?” Andrea asked, taken aback by the way he was talking to her and puzzled as to how he got a hold of Annie’s phone. 

 

            “When I saw AJ’s bus pull behind us and then exit the interstate, I figured they were up to something, so I had my driver get off at the next exit and circle back.  Why are hiding from me?  Why are you doing everything in your power to stay away from me?”  He paused to catch his breath, and when he began talking again, the tone in his voice had changed drastically.  “Why don’t you want to be with me?  What is so wrong with us being in love and creating a life together?  Why does it matter so much to you what other people will think?”  He asked these questions with such tenderness and uncertainty, his voice filled with self-doubt and sadness. 

 

            “Nick, I,” she started, but was not able to verbalize what she wanted to say to him. 

 

            “Say it.  Whatever you are trying to say, baby, just say it.”

 

            The way he called her baby almost made her lose control of the steering wheel.  Oh Lordy, I am a fool for this man, she pleasantly thought to herself.  Why am I running from him? 

 

            “Andrea, please, talk to me.”

 

            “I’m not running from you, not really anyway.  I know that I physically ran away from you, but in my mind, I’m running from me.”  She paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts so that what wanted to say would make sense when it hit his ears.  “After Alex said that I am completely different than anyone you’ve ever dated, it spooked me.  I realized that I am not even in the same league as the woman you’ve dated, and the press had a field day with those relationships.  I am so scared that you are going to buy into what everyone says about it, and it’s going to break us apart.”

 

            “Well, that would be kind of odd, considering we haven’t really started a relationship yet,” he responded, joking with her.

 

            “I don’t want to if we are going to end up resenting everything about each other a few months down the road.  Nick, I’ve never had feelings like this for anyone, and I swear to God when I say this, not even for my husband.  I loved him deeply, but there is a different passion with you, and honestly, I’m surprised I’ve been able to fight it off this long.  I just want something you can’t promise me.”

 

            “What is it that you want?”  She did not respond to him right away, causing him to grow weary.  We’re getting so far with this, please don’t back away now.  Talk to me, finish this conversation so we can move on with our lives together.  “Don’t stop now, my love, tell me.”

 

            “I want you to promise me that we will always be together, that no matter what happens, you’re not going to leave, or say you’ve had enough.  I want to know that you’re in this for the long haul, and it’s not fair of me to expect that from you.  I don’t know if I can jump into this without knowing that, but I can’t be expecting you to make that promise to me.”

 

            “That sounds like a great wedding vow,” he said, catching her off guard. 

 

            “I guess it does sound like a wedding vow, huh?  But that’s what I mean though; I can’t expect you to make that kind of promise, like a matrimonial promise to me right now.  You would probably go running off into the night and never look back.”  She laughed at the suggestion that they would get married or exchange wedding vows.  That’s the last thing on his mind, I’m sure.

 

            “I promise,” he said, so soft and sincere she almost didn’t hear him. 

 

            “What?” she whispered into the phone, as if trying to keep the rest of the world from hearing their conversation. 

 

            “You heard me, I said ‘I promise’.  I PROMISE, Andrea Jean Hotchkiss!  I promise that you are the only person in this entire world that I want to fall asleep next to every night and wake up next to every morning.  I promise that when the going gets tough, we get going together.  I promise….”

 

 

“ I promise to love you like you’ve never been loved, to cherish you like you are the air I breathe, to honor you and everything you are for the rest of my life.  To quote something my favorite person in the whole world said to me during the conversation that brought us back together, ‘I want you to promise me that we will always be together, that no matter what happens, you’re not going to leave, or say you’ve had enough.  I want to know that you’re in this for the long haul’.  Well Andrea Jean Hotchkiss, soon to be Andrea Jean Carter, I am, without a doubt, in this for the ‘long haul’.  I love you.”

 

            Andrea sat down in at her chair in the middle of the huge table that was set up at the front of the dining hall for the entire wedding party to sit at.  As she watched all the guests, her friends and family and Nick’s friends and family, talking with each other and having a good time, she thought back to that August day when she was driving home from Chicago.  What if I hadn’t answered Annie’s call?  What if I had just hung up when Nick came on the line? What if, what if, what if?  She smiled to herself as she remembered him promising her all these crazy, funny things, but more importantly, he had promised her what she needed to hear. 

 

            She laughed as she remembered using the “emergency and law enforcement vehicles” only U-turn on the interstate and wheeling her car around back towards the city.  I felt like an outlaw, she reminisced, laughing out loud slightly.  I will never forget the look on Nick’s face when I pulled onto the rest stop and he was still talking to me on the phone, pleading with me to just turn around and come back. 

 

            She would also never forget how he had gotten down on one knee and asked her to marry him.  I never imagined being proposed to at a truck stop off of I-90, but it is something I will never forget.  Nick was completely unprepared, he had no ring and no speech prepared, but he had still gotten the job done.  He took the ring he was wearing on his pinky finger off and held up to her. 

 

            “Dre, I know this isn’t your typical engagement ring, or your typical engagement proposal, but I don’t want you to go another minute thinking my feelings are anything less than forever. We don’t have to get married right away if you don’t want to, but I am ready to make this commitment to you, a permanent, life-long commitment, not matter what the press, or the fans, or anyone else has to say about it.  As soon as I get a chance, I am going to replace this with a real engagement ring, but for now, will you wear my ring…. and will you marry me?”  She of course said yes, and he slipped his ring onto her thumb, the only finger it would fit on.  The afternoon, after the boys were done playing in the charity softball game, he had gone to the jewelry store and bought her a real engagement ring.

 

            Andrea looked down at her left hand, now feeling her ring finger was complete.  A beautiful 2.5-carat platinum engagement ring paired with a matching wedding band.  This rock in huge, I can’t believe he wanted me to wear something bigger.  I remember him trying to convince me, ‘Dre, my girl should not have a normal engagement ring, it should be bigger and more beautiful than other engagement ring in the world.’.  She smiled again, reflecting on the nickname her husband had implemented for her shortly after they were engaged.  She loved it when he called her ‘Dre’. 

 

            “Dre-baby, what are you thinking about?” her husband asked her as he took his seat next to her at the table.  “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

 

            “Actually, my mind was only about 300 miles away,” she told him with a gleam in her eye.

 

            “Ah, right, Chicago,” he nodded, understanding exactly what she meant.  “You know, after this is all done, we can drive down to that truck stop again, just for old times sake,” he suggested, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows at her.  By “down” he meant hopping onto the I-90 southbound and making the drive from Central Wisconsin to Chicago again. 

 

            “Yeah, we might just have to do that,” she returned, giving him a wink Howie would have been proud of.  She placed her hand on his arm and leaned into him.  “Thank you for having the wedding up here,” she whispered into his ear, and giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

 

            “You were right, it is beautiful.  I never imagined having a snow covered wedding in my entire life, but I’m glad we did…I mean are…you know what I mean.”

 

            “Yes, I do,” she said and she ran her fingers over the wedding band on his finger.  “I do, I do, I do – never has there been two words I wanted to say to you more.”  He pressed his lips against hers tightly, and the entire room started oohing and ahhing. 

 

            “You’re supposed to wait until we ding the glasses with our silverware to do that,” said Annie as she stood up from her seat next to Andrea.  “Attention everybody, it’s toast time, and since I’m the maid of honor, I’m going first!”  The roar of the crowd silenced faster than ice creams melts on a hot day. 

 

Annie turned to her best friend, tears in her eyes.  “Thirteen months ago, I was afraid.  I was afraid that you, my best friend whom I love so much, would never be happy again.  Eight months later, I dragged you on a road trip in hopes of you finding yourself again, and maybe finding love again.  I never in my wildest dreams, well maybe in my wildest,” she looked toward the guests, all of them laughing, “did I imagine you would find love again with this beauty next you to.”

 

She paused and puckered her lips towards Nick, making a kissing sound as she did it.  The guests continued laughing.  “Okay, seriously though, this is something that none of us expected, but I could not be happier.  Nick, you have shown Andrea so much in the past four months.  You’ve shown her unconditional love, sacrifice, and compromise.  You have shown her understanding, comfort, and trust.  Thank you for showing her the road back home.”  Annie’s voice cracked as she said the last part, and she was no longer able to hold back the tears that were hanging in her eyes. 

 

Nick stood up and pulled her into a hug.  “Thank you for paving the road for me,” he whispered into her ear.  She wiped her tears off her face, cleared her throat, and spoke into the microphone again. 

 

“Thanks you guys, you made my makeup run!” she joked.  Andrea smiled at her cousin, their eyes meeting as they had too many times to count over the past 23 years.  “Andrea, I love you, you have been and always will be my sis from a different Miss, like we used to say.  You are my best friend, my therapist, my conscience, my co-worker, sometimes my boss, you are my right hand.  After all the things you have done for me besides just being my family all these years I am so happy that I was able to do this for you.  Be happy together, and give me lots of nieces and nephews!”  Annie set down the microphone and Andrea stood up.  They wrapped their arms around each other, this time, Annie didn’t mind being hugged. 

 

“Thank you,” Andrea whispered into her cousin’s ear.  “I’m gonna get you back so bad though during my Maid of Honor speech at your reception.”

 

“Well, you better hurry and write it, you only have seven days!” Annie retorted, smiling brighter than Andrea had ever seen.  “And my wedding is not going to be in the artic conditions of Wisconsin in December,” she added contritely. 

 

“Mal-ee-boo, mal-ee-boo,” they chanted together. 

 

“I still can’t believe you’re moving to Malibu,” Andrea said as her and Annie took their seats again, this time for the best man’s toast. 

 

“I told Alex that I would move anywhere he wants me to, as long as I don’t have to wear a wedding dress.”  Andrea and Annie started laughing.  Annie hated dresses, especially formal ones.  She would wear a skirt if she absolutely had to, but that wasn’t on the top of her list either.  “You’re lucky I even agreed to wear this thing for your wedding,” Annie snorted, pulling at the beautiful green gown that she was wearing. 

 

“You look stunning, I don’t know why you’re complaining.  When Alex saw you he almost ran down the aisle and mauled you as you walked down it!”

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said smiling.  “He does love me, doesn’t he?”  She looked over at her soon to be husband.  I can’t believe I’m getting married in a week, she thought to herself with excitement. 

 

“Okay, I need everyone’s attention focused back up here please,” AJ said into the microphone.  “It’s now time for the toast from the Best Man!”

 

 

 

 

 

           

 

           

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

            “I never thought this day would come,” Alex began, holding his glass of non-alcoholic champagne in his hand. “Nickolas Carter, the playa of all playas tying the knot…never thought it would happen.” He smiled at Nick, who looked like he wanted to smack AJ upside the head. Andrea squeezed Nick’s hand, and the expression on his face softened.

            “And it’s quite obvious to me why you were the girl to catch him,” he said to Andrea, taking note of the effect her hand squeeze had on her new husband. “You have an effect on this man that I’ve never seen anyone have on him before. You two compliment each other like milk and cookies, and it wouldn’t be the same having one without the other. But most importantly, Andrea, you love this man like he deserves to be loved. He is my brother, and I have never been happier for him than I am at this very moment.” AJ paused, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye before it could escape the confines from which it originated.

            “Nick, little brother, I love you. Seeing you finally happy is one of the best things I can think of for you. It takes quite a woman to understand your career, your life, and everything the two of you will be going through together, and it takes quite a woman to promise to love you, honor you, and keep you until death do her part and hold to those vows knowing all of this. You have quite a woman sitting next to you, never forget that.”

            AJ paused, this time picking up a glass of water from the table and taking a sip of it. What is my problem? I can’t even find the right things to say. I am marrying Annie, and I love her. Why am I thinking about her instead of my fiancé? AJ returned the glass of water onto the table and picked his champagne flute back up. “I guess what I’m trying to say, but having no success doing it, is that there is not a better woman to be married to, and you should always remember how lucky you are to have her—” his eyes locked onto Andrea’s without realizing it, and he continued to ramble. “Because there are men out there that would have loved to have a chance with her, to try and make her happy the way she deserves, to hold her in his arms, to feel her lips on mine—”

            “Ahem, Alex, you’re zoning out,” Annie whispered to her fiancé, gently tapping him on the leg. She didn’t catch on to what he was saying, nor did anyone one else in the room.

            “Oh, sorry,” he began again; his deep eyes poignantly fixated on Andrea’s. “Speeches were never really my thing I guess,” he chuckled, the guests laughing along with him. But that’s a complete lie, he admitted to himself only. “I am just going to wrap this up instead of rambling on and on, something I know all of you will appreciate,” he said, cracking another joke, hoping no one would notice his distraction. “I guess the best thing I can say is no two people were ever matched so perfectly--” There’s another lie. “And I could not be happier that the two of you are husband and wife.” And the lies keep coming. He raised his glass, everyone else doing the same, and he slammed the liquid down in one gulp, wishing desperately that it had been real champagne.
What in the hell was all that about? Andrea wondered to herself and she partook in the toast and sipped her champagne. She continued pondering the nuances she had heard during Alex’s speech and was so deep in thought she didn’t hear the wedding coordinator making the announcement that dinner will be served in ten minutes. I need to talk to him. I need to find out what his problem is.

            She walked over to Alex and gave him a hug, knowing that everyone was expecting her to thank him for the lovely speech. Instead of whispering gratitude into his ear however, she whispered instructions for him to meet her outside on the terrace. “We need to talk,” she told him as she exited their embrace and made her way towards the doors that led out of the reception hall. She walked up to her husband, informed him she needed to use the restroom and promised to be back before the food was served.

            The still winter evening, although peaceful and absolutely breathtaking as the light from the almost full moon reflected off of the crisp white blanket of snow that covered the ground, was cold and as Andrea stood outside on the beautifully lighted terrace waiting for Alex she shivered. Her wedding dress was basically sleeveless, with only an inch and a half of fabric making up band that draped off her shoulders. She had a wedding cloak, made to match her dress exactly, that she wore during her time outdoors throughout the day, but she had not grabbed it as she left, knowing that it would look odd for her to be taking it with her when she was supposed to be in the bathroom.

            She rubbed her icy hands up and down her frozen arms in hopes of warming then somewhat, but was not succeeding. Her teeth began to chatter as she heard footsteps behind her. She felt warmth surround her as Alex placed his tuxedo jacket around her shoulders.

            “You must be freezing,” he said as he stuck his hands in his pants pockets to keep them warm. “Only you would want to get married in the middle of winter in Antarctica.” She turned around to look at him, the smile on his face forced, but still enough to make her knees wobble ever so slightly. “But it is stunning, just like you said it would be, just like you are.” He took a step closer to her, creating what to most people would have been an uncomfortably close parameter, but to Andrea it felt welcome. And that feeling confused her.

            “Alex, what are you doing?” she asked him, her eyes avoiding his.

            “I don’t know,” he responded honestly. “I don’t know what’s happening. I just know that I wish I was the one you would have married.” Andrea gasped as he said this, having no idea what to do and what to say.

            “Alex, it’s not right. It can’t be like that. I just married your best friend, and you are marrying mine in seven days. Where is this coming from? You’ve never even….all this time to say something….pretending to like Annie….now you say something….I, I don’t, I don’t even know what….I can’t breathe—“ she thrust her arms behind her and grasped onto the railing as her only means of holding herself up. Alex saw her falter and rushed into her, his arm wrapping around her back.

            “Hold on baby, I got you,” he said softly as he cradled her. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I love Annie, and I want to marry her. I just can’t stop these feelings I have for you.”

            “What do you expect me to say Alex?” she asked, finding it even harder to breathe now that she was encompassed in his arms. “All this time, you could have said something, you didn’t even flinch when the priest asked if there was anyone reason Nick and I should not be wed.” Her mind was racing a mile a minute, question after question jumping to the front, smothering the question ahead of it before she could even ask it.

            “God, you smell so good,” she sighed. No matter how she tried, she could not slow her brain down, and decided with one careless thought to abandon all the sense and practicality she had and let her entire body crumble into his warm, strong arms. She did not think about her husband in the other room, probably wondering what was taking her so long, she did not think about her cousin who would never forgive her if she did something to be regretted later, and she did not think of all the guests in the other room celebrating her marriage while she was in the arms of another man. The only thing on her mind at that very moment was the feeling she had being held by AJ, the same feeling she’d had every other time they’d embraced so innocently before.

            She was about to run her left hand across his face when the moonlight caught the diamond on her hand. She looked at it, tears filling her eyes. AJ noticed it too, and he knew he was about to lose this moment, and her, forever.

            “Alex, I can’t—“ she started, but was interrupted by his soft pink lips crashing into hers. He kissed her madly, and although she was trying her hardest not to kiss him back, he felt her respond towards the end of the kiss, right up until they heard a loud voice yell “What are you doing?” and she pushed him off of her.

 

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

            When she saw Andrea walking out of the reception hall, the wedding coordinator walked up to Nick and asked him where she was going.

            “Heather, relax, she’s just going to the bathroom,” Nick responded with a chuckle in his voice. Heather was a great wedding coordinator, to the point where it was the perfect career for her for many positive and obvious reasons, including being very well organized and on top of every minute detail that needed to be covered, however there were times when something was going on that she didn’t need to know about, but she always made a point to make it her business.

            “Well, did anyone go with her? She’s going to have quite a problem doing what she needs to do with that wedding dress on all by herself.” Nick shrugged his shoulders, not really worried about it. “Well, I’m going to go check on her.” Heather turned from Nick and was making her way towards the door when one of the servers approached her with a question. She took a few minutes to fix whatever problem had reared its ugly head, and then before she could get sidetracked again, she walked out of the reception hall and into the hallway leading to the terrace.

            Heather poked her head into the bathroom only to find it completely unoccupied. She looked back into the reception hall to make sure she hadn’t missed Andrea’s return to the festivities, but did not see her in there either. “She’s walking around in an enormous white dress and I can’t see her anywhere, what’s wrong with that?” Heather asked rhetorically, talking to herself.

            She was about to go alert the groom that his bride was nowhere to be found when she caught a sparkle out of the corner of her eye. She turned back towards the terrace and saw the moonlight shining off of the beading on Andrea’s wedding dress. “What in the world is she doing out there? She doesn’t even have her wedding cloak on, she must be crazy!” Heather started walking quickly over to the terrace doors to bring the bride back inside when she saw someone standing with Andrea, his arms wrapped around her body.

            “How did Nick get past me and out here so fast? Why are they even out here, the food is going to be served any minute!” Heather reached for the shining brass handles to open the French style doors, but stopped mid turn and gasped. She saw the man holding Andrea so closely, so tenderly, was not her groom of only a few hours, but rather the best man.

            Heather reeled back from the door and turned Mission-Impossible-style towards the wall next to the doors, so that her back was pressed tight against the wall and her arms were at her side. She stood there for a minute, holding her breath, hoping Andrea and AJ did not see her standing there. Oh my God, what do I do? Maybe they are just talking and he’s trying to keep her warm, Heather thought, trying to convince herself that the entire wedding had not been a mistake. She kneeled down onto the ground and in one stealth-like move, she twisted her body around so that she could peer out the bottom corner window of the doors. “Oh Mary and Joseph they’re kissing!” she shrieked, and she stood up so quickly she stepped on the bottom of her dress and almost ripped it.

            “I’m going to find my wife and let the wedding coordinator know everyone is ready to eat. I’ll be right back,” a voice yelled from the doorway to the reception hall.

            “Oh shit, he’s coming,” Heather announced to no one in particular as she struggled to not panic. “What do I do? Oh my God I am not getting paid enough to handle crap like this!” She saw the door to the reception hall open and she knew she had to think fast. She slid into the alcove where some of the guests’ coats were hanging, and as she saw his shadow approaching she stuck her foot out and tripped him.

            “What are you doing?” he yelled as he stumbled to regain his footing. “Are you trying to kill me?” Heather grabbed his hand and veered him away from the terrace, apologizing for tripping him as she pulled him back into the reception hall.

 

            “It’s Nick,” Andrea gasped as she pushed AJ away from her. “I love him and I can’t do this to him. We could have had something Alex, but the key phrase is could have. You made your move for Annie and that left me for Nick, that’s the decision you made.” She turned from him and walked back inside, leaving Alex alone on the terrace.

            As she was walking back towards the reception hall, she saw Heather walking toward her. “Sorry I took so long. I was in the bathroom and having a hell of time with this wedding dress---” Andrea began, but Heather put her hand up to stop her.

            “I stalled Nick and got him away from the terrace, he didn’t see anything. I don’t know what is going on with you and Alex, but you better keep it under lock and key a little better next time.” Heather took Andrea by the arm and led her into the reception hall before she could respond.

            “I was getting worried, is everything okay?” Nick asked as he walked up to her and kissed her. “Your lips are so cold.” He put his hand on her cheek. “Your face is too, was it that cold in the bathroom?” He ran his hands up and down her arms to warm her.

            “No baby, I stepped outside for a minute after using the restroom. I was getting really warm in this dress and just needed a bit of fresh air. You know Wisconsin, it doesn’t take long for things to freeze in the winter.” She smiled at him, her stomach twitching at the lie she had just told. Damn you Alexander James McLean, Damn you.
Nick placed his hand on the small of Andrea’s back and escorted her to the table. Annie looked up at her as she pulled out her chair and sat down.

            “Have you seen Alex anywhere? He’s been gone for almost ten minutes and he didn’t even tell me he was leaving.”

            “No, I haven’t seen him,” Andrea responded, shrugging her shoulders to make her lie seem more convincing. She averted her eyes to the plate in front of her and began picking at the tablecloth. She didn’t even look up when she heard AJ walking back into the room or when he took his place on the other side of Nick at the table.

            “Jesus Bone, I can feel the coldness coming off of you, were you in the freezer in the kitchen or something?” she heard Nick ask as AJ sat down next to him.

            “Oh, umm, no, I, well, I just stepped outside to have a cigarette,” he stammered. And the lies start again, he thought grimly to himself.

            “Wow, you and Andrea are gone the same amount of time, you both come back purple and cold, if I didn’t know better, I’d think the two of you were having a secret tryst outside or something,” Nick joked, as he put his right arm around Andrea and his left arm around AJ.

            Neither of them noticed the lightheartedness or the mocking tone with which Nick spoke in, all they heard was someone catching them in their deceit. They both froze, panic and frenzy overtaking them, wondering what to say or how to act. Alex was the first to jump to action.

            “Oh, man, that’s a good one! Like I would have a tryst with your wife on your wedding day!” I don’t know how I got so good at lying, but it’s not a talent I am proud to have.

            “Yeah, really. I married you, remember?” Andrea said, as she leaned over the kissed her husband passionately. We’ve only been married for four hours and I already have a secret to keep from you forever, she solemnly thought. She felt AJ’s eyes bearing down on her as she kissed her husband. Why didn’t he make his move sooner? Why did he go all this time, hiding his feelings, having sex with my cousin? I can’t believe this is happening.

            Her internal monologue was interrupted by the servers delivering their meals to them. They started eating, joking and talking throughout the entire meal. By the time the servers were clearing the dishes away, the incident on the terrace had been pushed back from the front of her mind and she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

            “Okay wedding party, while the tables are being taken down and the dance floor is getting set up, we are going to take some more pictures,” Laurie announced. Laurie was Heather’s assistant and she was in charge of photography. “Let me go make sure Brandy is all set up outside. Ladies, check your makeup and hair. Gentlemen…. check whatever you need to check before betting pictures taken.”

            A few minutes later, the entire wedding party was assembled outside on the terrace, surrounded by the magnificent beauty of winter night in Wisconsin, the same magnificence that Andrea and Alex had already partaken in.

            “These nighttime shots are going to be amazing,” Brandy said as she perched herself behind the camera. Brandy was the photographer that Laurie had hired at Andrea’s request. Brandy had done quite a bit of work for Annie and Andrea’s company and Andrea knew she would do a fabulous job with the wedding pictures.

 

            Fifteen minutes later the wedding party, Brandy, and Laurie were on their way back inside to thaw. “For a minute there, I thought the shutter on the camera was going to freeze shut!” Brandy laughed as she hung her coat up in the alcove. “But I can assure you, those shots are going to be immaculate.”

            “Thank you so much for doing the wedding,” Andrea said as she gave Brandy a quick hug.

            “It’s been my pleasure, really,” Brandy replied smiling. “All I have left to do is take some shots of you and Nick dancing and I should be all done here, well for working anyway! I can’t wait to put the equipment away and bust a move on the dance floor!”

            “I wish I could,” said Laurie, joining in on the conversation. “But Sergeant Heather would never allow that!” The girls laughed as they walked back into the reception hall. Andrea was so preoccupied with keeping her mind of what happened with Alex on the terrace that she didn’t notice her cousin slip into the bathroom by herself or Alex trying to follow her in there and Nick pulling him away from the bathroom door.

 

 

 

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

            “Dude, you can’t just walk into the ladies’ room,” Nick joked as he came up behind AJ and stopped him before he could follow Annie into the bathroom. “I know you’re a horn dog for that girl, but let her go to the bathroom in peace, would ya!”

            AJ forced a smile, knowing inside that there was nothing to smile about. Annie could tell there was something wrong with him and he had snapped at her when she asked him what it was. He hated how he had treated her and she didn’t deserve it. She also didn’t deserve for him to kiss her best friend or admit feelings for her a week before their wedding, but he was still dishing that at her as well.

            “Come on man, let’s go back into the reception. She’ll be out in a minute and then you two can grind on the dance floor all night until you head up to your hotel room,” Nick teased as he threw his arm around AJ’s neck and tried to drag him away from the bathroom.

            “No Kaos, you go ahead. I am going to wait here for Annie. I want to talk to her.”

            “Alright, well don’t take too long, this is my wedding you know! Next week, it’s all about you, but tonight--”

            “Yeah yeah, tonight is all about you. I get that!” he joked back, slapping Nick in the back of the head. “I still can’t believe the wild beast has been tamed.” Nick laughed and walked back into the reception. He knew the first dance would be coming soon and he couldn’t keep his bride waiting.

            Alex leaned against the wall and waited for Annie to come out of the bathroom. He wasn’t going to tell her why he was so jumpy, but he did want to apologize for the way he had treated her. A minute later the bathroom door opened and Annie walked out, pausing for a minute when she saw him, as if trying to decide whether to come out and talk with him or run back into the bathroom again.

            “Annie, I’m sorry,” he started before she could make up her mind. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you when you were just trying to find out what’s wrong.”

            “What is wrong?” she asked him again, taking a few steps towards him. “Ever since the speeches you have been acting funny.”

            “I, it’s just, well,” he started, trying to find the right thing to say. “I guess all this wedding stuff is making me wonder if we have everything set for next week. I’m just worried that we are forgetting something or that something isn’t right.” Something definitely isn’t right, but you can’t possibly know that.

            “Oh baby, our wedding is going to be perfect. It’s not going to be like this and you know that. We didn’t have nearly as much stuff to try and get ready as Andrea and Nick did. We decided simple was better, and it will be. Trust me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. “It could just be us and a justice of the peace and it wouldn’t matter. The only thing that matters is I am the only girl in your heart, the only girl you want to be with, the only girl you’re ever going to kiss for the rest of you life.”

            She leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. His heart wrenched in his chest as she said those words. This isn’t fair to her. I know that I love her, but I’m not even sure we should get married next week. I need time to figure everything out. I have to tell her the truth.

            “Annie, there’s something I need to tell you,” he began slowly, knowing that what he was going to divulge to her would not only break her heart, but ruin any chance for them as well as ruin her friendship with Andrea. “I think we should

postpone--”

            “There you are,” Veronica said as she walked into the hallway and saw Annie standing there. “Uncle Rick and Aunt Mary are looking for you. The ‘family’ dances are going to be starting and they want all of us there.” Veronica, Annie and Andrea’s cousin, was referring to the father/daughter dance which Annie and her dad would be participating in along with the bride and her dad. “And Laura wants to talk to you.”

            “About what? Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Annie was whining, but she didn’t care. Her sister Laura always had something dire to talk about, no matter where they were or what they were doing.

            “She wants to finalize her travel plans to Malibu with you,” Veronica said laughing. Annie rolled her eyes, thinking to herself that she has her own travel plans to worry about and how her sister is getting there really doesn’t matter to her as long as she is there.

            “I’ll be right there,” Annie said, shooing her cousin away. She turned her attention back to her fiancé. “What were you saying you wanted to postpone?” she asked, nipping at his chin and running her fingers through his short brown hair.

            I can’t do this to her. I love her, and in the end, that’s all that matters. I know that I don’t feel the way for Andrea that I do for Annie, so I’ll just have to let this little infatuation run its course. I am marrying this girl in front of me and we are going to live happily ever after. “I think we should postpone our flight to Malibu another day. Leaving tomorrow is too soon. There will be so much for Andrea and Nick to do and get everything done and I think we should stay and help. We can take the same flight they do and we’ll still get to Malibu in time to finish what we need to do.”

            She smiled at him, wondering if that was really all that was bothering him. She shrugged her shoulders, deciding that it didn’t really matter anyway. “I think that’s a great idea. And I know that Nick and Dre would love the help.” She kissed him on the cheek and took him by the hand, pulling him back into the reception hall. They walked in as the DJ was announcing the first dance.

            Nick and Andrea, hand in hand, walked onto the dance floor and wrapped themselves in each others arms. To every person watching them, they looked absolutely perfect. Even though Andrea was a foot shorter than her husband, and when most people would have rested a head on a shoulder hers was resting just below his chest, they still looked like they were a perfect fit.

            As Nick twirled his bride around the dance floor and everybody oohed and aahed, Alex said a silent prayer, asking for direction and help. If I am not supposed to be with her, please let the ache in my heart stop when I see her with him. If I am not supposed to kiss her, please stop my lips from burning when I get close to her. If I am not supposed to love her, please stop her from being so loveable.

            He continued his pleas throughout the rest of their dance, the father/daughter dance, and the mother/son dance. It was only when the DJ announced the bride/best man, groom/maid of honor dance that knew he could not petition a miracle any longer. He walked onto the dance floor and smiled at the beautiful bride who had his heart and mind so confused. She smiled back at him and took the hand he had extended for her. He pulled her close and they swayed in unison to the music.

 

            “Listen Alex,” she began, talking quietly into his ear over the music. “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that kiss didn’t affect me. It felt really nice, but that’s the problem. I just married your best friend, and you’re marrying mine next week. We can’t do that to them. But we also can’t continue to hang out and pretend like nothing happened with this tension between us.” She stopped, allowing him to interject.

            “So what are you saying? We can’t really avoid hanging out together, seeing as how the aforementioned weddings are taking place.”

            “I know that, and that’s why I’m wondering if it’s just a ‘I know I can’t have you so that’s why you’re so irresistible to me’ type of attraction going on. I mean, neither one of us was thinking like this a few weeks ago, it just came on all of a sudden.”

            “So again I ask, what are you saying?”

            “I’m saying that maybe we should just give in to how we are feeling, and see what happens.” She stopped, shaking her head a little in frustration. “This isn’t coming out right. What I’m trying to say is you know how we kissed, and we both thought it was so great, but maybe we just think that because it’s fuel to the fire. What if we were to kiss again, knowing that if there really is something there you don’t have to marry Annie and my marriage can always be annulled or I can get divorced. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

            Alex looked at her like she was absolutely crazy, but the more he thought about what she was saying, the more he understood what she meant. “Like if we don’t deny each other, maybe the desire won’t be there and we can go on with our happy little lives and pretend the way we are feeling now never happened?”

            “I know it sounds funny, but yeah. Haven’t you ever done something you knew what wrong but did it because you knew it was wrong?”
           

            “Yeah, I have. But do you honestly think that any amount of convincing each other that kissing again wouldn’t be wrong would actually convince us? We know it’s not right, you’re married and I’m about to be married, and it’s not like our relationships are with people that don’t matter. She is your family, he is my family, she’s your career, he’s my career, you know? I don’t think that would work.”

            “You’re right, it wouldn’t.” They both let out exasperated sighs and continued dancing.

            After about thirty seconds of silence, Alex started to speak again. “I truly think the only think that’s going to help is time. Time to see if the infatuation dies, or if more feelings grow. I know its cliché, but only time will tell.”

            “I was afraid you were going to say that,” Andrea admitted with a smile. “I just feel so horrible keeping this from Nick.”

            “I know exactly how you feel. I feel like such an asshole.” The continued dancing in silence until the song ended. After they parted each other’s arms and went to their respective significant other’s sides, both of them had a new outlook on the situation.

            Time…they both thought simultaneously, unbeknown to the other.

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

            As the reception ended and the guests started making their way out to their cars, Andrea plopped down in a chair and rubbed her sore feet. She had long since taken her heels off and had been dancing in her bare feet all night, thinking that would keep them from being sore. “Boy, was I wrong,” she mumbled to herself. “It worked at all the school dances, or at least I thought it did.”

            “Here, let me do that for you,” someone said, grabbing her foot from her hands. She smiled at her Aunt and leaned back in the chair and relaxed. “How does that feel?”

            “Aunt Marianne, that feels wonderful. Thank you.”

            “Well, I didn’t come over here to rub your feet, I came over here to talk to you,” Marianne started, continuing to massage Andrea’s worn out tootsies. “I know that you love Nick, you wouldn’t have married him if you didn’t, but I noticed something tonight that I’m not sure I should have.” Andrea gave her an inquisitive look, but was more interested in her feet getting rubbed than what her Aunt had to say. “Andrea, you’re a smart girl, and therefore you do not make unwise or careless decisions. Marrying Nick was without a doubt the right thing for you to do, and I know you know that.”

            “What are you trying to say Aunt Marianne?” Andrea was tired and getting a little irritated at her Aunt’s Confucius-like speech. Why can no one in my family just say what they mean? Why do they always have to talk around the point?
Aunt Marianne sighed and stopped rubbing Andrea’s feet. She leaned in closer to her niece and looked her square in the eyes. “What is going on between you and that AJ guy?”

            Andrea’s eyes widened and her mouth gaped open, her breath was labored and perspiration started to bead on her forehead. “How did you know?” was the only she could muster before breaking down. All the guilt she was feeling, all the confusion she had, and all the anger and frustration that had taken up residence within her was flowing from her in the form of tears.

            “Oh sweetie,” Marianne whispered as she wrapped her arms around her niece and held her close. “What is it?”

            “We, we, ki-issed,” Andrea stammered out in between sobs. “I didn’t even know he liked me and it just happened. And now I am so confused because I think I like him too.” She continued to sob, her face getting red and hot from the mixture of emotion and exhaustion. “I can’t tell Nick because he will never be able to forgive AJ, and that will ruin his friendship and his career. I can’t tell Annie because that will ruin our friendship and career. I don’t know what to do.”

            “You have to stay away from him as much as possible and you have to let this pass,” Marianne instructed, soothing her niece as best she could. “I agree that telling Nick and Annie would be a mistake, but if you go any further with him, that’s a secret you will no longer be able to keep.” Marianne stopped and sat silent for a minute. She was not sure if she should tell her niece that the same thing happened to her, but finally decided it was the best thing to do.

            “You know honey, I had a situation like this happen to me, only it happened the night before my wedding.” Andrea looked up at her Aunt with a vacant expression, not sure what she was going to say. “Your Uncle Larry’s best friend from college, Bill, was his best man. The three of us went way back, and I knew him very well. We had never so much as looked at each other with any sort of attraction, but the night before my wedding, I kissed him. I thought that I was making a mistake, that maybe I shouldn’t be settling down yet, and maybe your uncle was not the right man for me.”

            “Does Uncle Larry know about this?”

            “I never told him, and neither did Bill. I felt guilty about it for months after the wedding, and it was hard figuring out if I should be with Bill or stay with your uncle. One day, I realized that I had made the right decision, and I don’t think I would have been so convinced if I hadn’t had that one moment of indiscretion. Knowing that there was always another option if I decided this wasn’t going to work helped me in some way, it took the pressure off. Marriage is really hard, especially in the first couple years. But I loved Larry long before that kiss, and I loved him long after, and I know I made the right decision. And I know you will too.”

            “Thank you Aunt Mar,” Andrea said as she allowed her aunt to pull her in for another hug. Once her aunt released her, Andrea got up from the chair and grabbed her shoes. “I guess I better get up to my suite, Nick only told me to wait for ten minutes before going up there, and it’s been almost twenty.” She kissed her aunt on the cheek and walked out of the reception hall, almost bumping into Alex as she went through to doors.

            AJ stopped mid step and if expecting Andrea to stop and talk to him, but all she did was utter a quite “excuse me” and continued past him towards the elevators. He was about to go after her when he heard someone calling his name.

            “AJ, AJ, come here for a second would you?”

            “Aunt Marianne right? What can I do for you?”

            “You can stay away from my niece, but you shouldn’t do it for me, you should do it for her, and the woman you are marrying next week,” Marianne stated in a cold, stern voice. “Marriage is hard enough without something like this weighing it down. Andrea doesn’t need it in her marriage, and you don’t need it your marriage, that is if you are still planning on marrying Annie. If you really love my nieces, stop this before it really starts.” She walked past Alex and out the door before he had time to respond.

            He sank into a chair, his arms resting on his knees, his head in his hands. What am I doing? He questioned himself, self-hatred rising and self esteem falling. I am a horrible person. I convinced myself and everyone else around me that I am not the same person I was before, and even that’s a lie. I am no better than the drugged out, drunk, sex-addicted asshole I was five years ago. He slowly got up and went behind the bar. He pushed bottles of alcohol aside until his eyes landed on the crutch he had thrown away so many years ago.

            “My old buddy Jack, damn good to see you,” he whispered as he open the bottle and took a swig. It burned as it went down his throat, a feeling he had tried so hard before to forget. He sat behind the bar for half an hour, drinking and thinking, thinking and drinking. When he realized his buzz was turning into intoxication, he walked out from the behind the bar and made his way to the elevators, the bottle of Jack Daniels still in his hand.

            He grew impatient as he waited for the elevator and started pressing the up arrow on the wall over and over. “Wow, it’s amazing how much funnier things are through ‘Jack glasses’,” he announced, slurring his words. He heard the elevator ding and was about to run onto the elevator as the doors opened, but the person coming off the elevator had that same urgency about them and the two collided.

            “Oh my God!” Nick yelled as he crashed into AJ, both of them toppling to the floor. He jumped up as soon as he landed, trying to figure out what happened and make sure whomever he landed on was okay. “AJ?” Nick asked, realizing whom he had run into. “Are you--” he started, but stopped abruptly when he saw the bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor next to his friend. “What in the hell are you doing? Are you DRUNK?” Nick was shouting at this point, furious that his friend would just throw away all the years of sobriety he had accomplished.

            “Shut up man, what do you care anyway? You have the woman of you dreams, and my dreams for that matter, so just go away and leave me alone.” He tried to stand up but fell over again, the alcohol taking full affect now. “Oh fuck it,” he said laughing, and took another drink of Jack.

            “No, fuck you,” Nick replied, grabbing the bottle away from AJ so fast that the liquid spilled down the front of him, soaking his goatee and his shirt. “You are not going down this road again. I don’t know what happened tonight that you would do this to yourself, but it stops here.” Nick threw the bottle against the wall, causing it to shatter into hundreds of glass shards. He grabbed the front of AJ’s shirt and dragged him up from the ground, practically carrying him into the elevator.

            Once they were in the elevator and on their way up to their rooms, Alex turned to Nick. His eyes were red and puffy, he reeked of alcohol, and the pallor in his face could not have been hidden with even the best makeup. “I kissed your wife,” he breathed onto Nick and then collapsed onto the floor of the elevator, too drunk to realize the ramifications of what he just said.

 

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

            As the elevator crept up to the fifth floor of the hotel, Nick stood silent in it while waves of raw emotion crashed down on him. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He felt like kicking the ever-loving shit out of his best friend, he felt like confronting Andrea, he felt like jumping out of a window and he felt like crying.

            The elevator bell dinged as they reached their destination, bringing Nick out of his trance. He looked down at AJ passed out on the floor, numerous thoughts running through his head. Did he force her? Did she force him? What does he mean by kiss, friendly or passionate? Why would he do this? Why would she do this? The elevator doors started to shut and he stuck his hand between them to stop them from closing, his mind racing. He bent down and grabbed AJ under his arms and dragged him out of the elevator.

            “What happened?!?” a voice yelled from behind him as he and AJ emerged from the elevator. He turned around to see Annie coming down the hallway, obviously searching for her fiancé.

            “Just got get Andrea and meet me in your room. I want to get him out of the hallway before anyone sees him.” Nick dragged Alex down the hall to his room and Annie walked the other way down the hall to Andrea’s room.

            She knocked on the door and her cousin answered it, wrapped in a white silk robe. “Hey honey, what’s up?” Andrea asked as she made sure her robe was securely tied shut.

            “I’m not sure. I just ran into Nick and he was dragging Alex off the elevator. He told me to come get you and to meet him in our room.”

            Oh shit, Andrea thought, her stomach turning. “Let me get dressed. C’mon in,” she said, stepping aside so her cousin could enter the room. Andrea went into the bedroom and threw on her sweat pants, a tank top and her flip flops. I’m so sorry Annie, I never meant to hurt you, she repented internally as she walked back into the living room of her suite.

            Without uttering a word, the two girls walked out of Andrea’s suite and down the hall to Annie’s suite. As they approached the door Annie paused before she put her key into door. “I think Nick found out that Alex kissed you,” she said quietly, thrusting her key into the lock and opening the door.

            Andrea’s jaw dropped, and she felt as if the walls were closing in on her. “How did you--” Andrea’s began to utter, unable to breath or think properly.

            “Not now,” Annie said, interrupting her cousin, trying to bring focus back to her cousin. “Let me help you smooth things over with your husband and we will talk later.” She didn’t even look at her cousin when she said this; she just pushed the door open and pulled Andrea into the room with her.

            Andrea’s eyes searched the room as soon as she had cleared the doorway, looking for her husband and AJ. She heard movement in the bedroom and water running in the bathroom. Still finding it hard to breathe she quickly sat down on the couch and tried to calm herself down.

            “Nick, where are you?” Annie called out as she walked past her cousin and towards the bedroom. She pushed the door open but saw no one. She walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. “What are you doing?” she cried as she saw Alex in the shower and Nick standing over him.

            “I’m trying to sober him up,” Nick snapped back at her. “HE’S DRUNK!”

            Annie stuck her hand in the water and pulled it right back out. “It’s freezing,” she commented as she grabbed a towel from the rack. She looked down at her fiancé, who seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that cold water was cascading over his fully clothed body. “I don’t think this is working,” she criticized as she turned the shower off and began undressing her drunken fiancé.

            As she was buttoning his pants he grabbed her around the wrist so suddenly it caused her to scream out loud. “I’m sorry Annie,” he muttered before his hand slipped off of her wrist listlessly.

            “You’re right about that,” she shot back at him, the urge to wrap her hands around his throat and strangle him hit her so fast it almost knocked her over. “You are one sorry piece of shit.” She got him undressed down to his boxers and Nick helped her get him out of the shower and into the bedroom.

            Andrea was standing by the bed when they walked into the room. “This is all my fault,” she said as she walked over to AJ and helped Nick support him. She draped his arm across her shoulders and wrapped her arm around his waist so that Annie could find him some dry clothes to put on.

            “No it’s not,” AJ mumbled as he stumbled over to the bed under the guidance of Andrea and Nick. “It’s my fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Nick and Andrea let him go and he sank down onto the bed. Annie handed him a dry pair of boxer shorts and a T-shirt.

            “When you’re dressed and sober, the four of us need to talk,” Annie said shortly as Alex grabbed the clothes from her. “Then the two of us need to talk.” She turned around before he could stop her and walked out of the bedroom, Andrea and Nick right behind her.

 

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

            After Alex had dressed, he brushed his teeth and drank two glasses of water, hoping it would flush the alcohol out of his system that much faster. He walked over the nightstand and picked up his cell phone. He scrolled through his list of contacts until he landed on “Steph” and hit “call”.

            “Hello?” a groggy voice answered after a ring and a half.

            “Steph, it’s Alex, I need your help.” Steph was AJ’s AA sponsor, and this was not the first middle-of-the-night call she had received from him during the past five years.

            “Alex? What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice sounding more and more alert as they spoke. Alex told her everything that had happened during the course of the evening, including the way he felt as he drank the alcohol and the way he felt at that very moment as he talked to her on the phone.

            “Alex, the first thing you need to remember is that you have not ruined your sobriety. Whatever you do, do not start to drink again just because you did tonight, thinking that you’ve already lost the battle so what’s the point. That’s why it’s called a battle; you have to keep fighting it.”

            She continued throwing pieces of wisdom and advice his way for the next ten minutes, and he ate up every word of it. “Thanks Steph,” he said sincerely into the phone. “I was hoping I would never need you again like this, but I’m glad you were here for me.”

            “Anytime you need me Alex, you know I’m here,” she said, the same as she had so many times before. Alex flipped his phone shut and held it in his hand for a minute, reflecting on what Steph had told him. He walked over the sink and gulped down another glass of water. The alcohol was starting to wear off and he was beginning to think clearly again. “I guess it’s time to face the music,” he mumbled to himself as he walked towards the door to the living room.

            “Nick, there’s something that I want to say to you before you say anything,” Annie began as she, Nick, and Andrea walked into the living room and sat down. She adjusted herself on the floor until she was comfortable, while Nick and Andrea sat down on separate ends of the couch. “I know what is going through your head right now but you need to believe me when I tell you that Andrea did nothing to provoke this. She wasn’t going after Alex and she wasn’t leading him on to anything either.” She looked over at Andrea as tears filled her eyes. “The same thing happened that always does, the guy I’m with starts liking Andrea more than he likes me.”

            “What are you talking about!?” Andrea gasped, her eyes widening and a look of sheer denial forming on her face.

 

            “I’ve never stolen a boy from you!”

            “I know that,” Annie said quietly. “But boys have left me because they wanted someone more like you.” Andrea continued staring at Annie, her facial expressions prodding Annie to further explain herself. “Whenever we go someplace, the guys always notice me first. I think it’s because I’m tall and closer to their eye level, but whatever the reason they just notice me first. Then after a while, when we all start hanging out together and they get to see your personality come out, they start to like you instead of me.”

            “You’re insane. I don’t think that’s ever happened,” Andrea retorted, trying to figure out where Annie was going with this.

            “Hello, it just happened like four hours ago!”

            “Alex loves you, not me. He’s just confused.”

            “Andrea, he’s gotten to know you and he’s started to fall for you, the same way every guy that gets to know you does.”

            “You must be living in a different world than me, because if you can remember correctly, Michael was only the second person I ever dated. I never had numerous guys falling in love with me like you’re making it sound!”

            “Remember Dustin?”

            “Yeah, the waiter, what about him?”

            “He broke up with me because he wanted someone more like you. He couldn’t have you because you were dating Ben, so he moved on.”

            “You never even mentioned that to me, EVER! And P.S., we are the same person! How could someone say that you should be more like me when we could not be more alike?” Andrea was getting very agitated and the tone of her voice was reflecting that. She felt as if Annie was launching a personal attack against her as a vendetta.

            “No, Andrea, we are not as alike in the relationship department as you think. If you just think about it for a minute, you’ll realize that. You are the fun, carefree, it’s-a-two-way-street type of girl. You do things for the other person, you make them feel like the most special person in the world. I’m not like that, and not because I don’t want to be, I just don’t know how to be.” Annie looked down at her hands as she came to this blatant conclusion, feeling ashamed and inadequate.

            Andrea got up from the couch and knelt down the floor next to her cousin. “How do you know that’s what is going on with you and Alex though?” she asked softly, hoping he hadn’t actually said something like this to her. “Did something happen between you two that I don’t know about?”

 

            Nick, who had been sitting idly by listening intently to the conversation that had switched from being between him and Annie to Annie and his wife, now perked up and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, waiting with bated breath to hear Annie’s response.

            Annie’s eyes dated from Andrea to Nick and back again. She could feel perspiration forming on the palms of her hands and the room suddenly felt very warm. “I heard him on the phone a few weeks ago,” she started as she began flapping the neck of her shirt in an attempt to fan herself. “I picked up the phone in the kitchen to make a call and I heard him talking on the handset in the bedroom. He was talking to his sponsor about how the urge to drink again was coming back because of some problems he was having with a relationship. He told her about me and our engagement, and then he told her about yours and Nick’s engagement.” She stopped, taking a deep breath and pleading with herself to keep going.

            “And then what happened?” Nick asked gently, knowing he needed to hear this just as much as Annie needed to say it.

            “Then he said that he wanted to have what you have, that he was developing feelings for Andrea and he didn’t know how to handle them. He said that he knows he loves me, but he’s not sure he can marry me if he feels this way about someone else.” The tears flowed freely down her face as she sobbed.

            As Annie was talking, Andrea was doing some quick math in her head. She said this happened a few weeks ago, but they moved the wedding up two weeks ago, so did they move it before or after this phone call? And why would AJ move up the wedding if he was having these doubts? “Annie,” Andrea started out loud, breaking her internal train of thought, “when exactly was this phone call?”

            Annie lifted her eyes from the ground to her cousin, knowing she had been caught, knowing she was going to have to explain more than she thought she would have to, or wanted to for that matter. “I didn’t want to lose him,” she began, more tears rolling down her red face. “I figured that if I could just get him through the “I do’s” then I would have something to hold onto him with. I love him so much and I know he loves me and I didn’t want him to leave me!” Her shoulders were retching and her body was shaking as she covered up her face and cried harder. “I didn’t want him to leave me,” she repeated between sobs.

            It was Nick’s turn to get off the couch and kneel down on the floor by Annie. He pulled her into a hug, thinking to himself how unfair it was that she feels like she did something wrong when she was just the victim in this situation. “Annie, Alex loves you so much. I don’t know what’s going on with him or why this is happening, but he wants to marry you. He’s always had problems when it comes to women, and I’m sorry that you are experiencing them now.” He wiped her tears away with his thumb and smoothed her hair back from her face.

            “So I take it you followed him out of the reception after he followed me out and that’s how you knew he kissed me?” Andrea asked, trying to breakup the tender moment between her husband and her cousin.

            “When I saw you walk up to him after his speech I know something was up, so yeah, after he left I followed him. I walked outside through the side door and stood behind the bushes next to the terrace so I could hear what you were saying to each other.” She looked directly into Andrea’s eyes, shame and hurt floating around her green irises. “I actually thought that you two were having an affair.”

            “Annie Elizabeth Helke, how could you think that!?” Andrea was shocked and almost disappointed in her cousin. “I would never--”

            “I know you would never do that to me, but I had all these crazy thoughts running through my head, especially since I knew that he had feelings for you and he was so good at hiding that up until now,” Annie cried, cutting Andrea off mid sentence. “What am I doing? I am going crazy and I’ve done things that are not forgiveable!”

            “Annie, don’t say that,” Andrea said supportively as she hugged her cousin. “You did what any woman would have done in your situation. It’s all forgivable and it can all be made right again. Everything will be okay.”

            “I don’t think it will,” she said cautiously and the tears that Nick had previously wiped away were replaced with fresh ones.

            “What do you mean?” Andrea asked, suddenly feeling that Annie was keeping something from her.

            “I’ve done something that I can’t take back,” she said quietly as the tips of her fingers brushed across her flat stomach. Between sobs she told them about her doctor’s appointment a month ago and how she had to stop taking her birth control for a while because of the problems she was experiencing while taking them.

            “You didn’t tell him you stopped taking your pills, did you?” Andrea questioned her cousin, already knowing the response that lay ahead.

            Annie shook her head from side to side, realizing at that very moment that she had become the person that celebrities were constantly being warned about—she was a “trapper”. “I didn’t really think it would happen though,” was the only reasoning she could offer up.

            Andrea and Nick inhaled sharply as they looked at each other then back to Annie. “You’re pregnant,” Andrea whispered, more as a fact than as a question. Annie shook her head again, this time up and down. “And he doesn’t know,” Andrea said again using the same tone as she had in her previous comment.

            Before Annie could respond they heard footsteps in the bedroom, followed by the door opening as AJ emerged from the bedroom and walked into the living area. “I’m assuming you’re talking about me, so what don’t I know?”

 

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

            As Alex walked into the room and uttered his question, three pairs of eyes looked up from their previous fixations and settled onto him instead, causing an awkward and slightly terrifying feeling to come over him. He traipsed over to the chair that was positioned across from the couch and sat down, waiting for an answer. When he didn’t get one, he asked his question again, this time in a little more annoyed tone which the other three people in the room didn’t appreciate considering the situation he had gotten himself into.

            “Don’t even start,” Nick said, his voice icy and harsh. “You are in absolutely no position to make us think we are putting you out.”

            AJ wanted to lash back at him, but nodded his head in agreement instead. “Sorry, you’re right. I just want to know what’s going on and nobody is talking.”

            “I think you’re the one who needs to do some talking first,” Nick retorted, his voice still portraying the angst and frustration he was feeling toward his band mate.

            “Listen Nicky, I know--”

            “Don’t call me that, not now. At this point I’m not sure you’ll ever be able to call me Nicky again.” His eyes were filled with hurt and anger and his face was turning a dark shade of red as he spoke.

            “Okay….Nick, I know you think I am the biggest asshole in the world right now, and I’m starting to think I am too, but please just hear me out,” AJ responded, his stomach turning in knots and self-disapproval running rapid throughout his body. “I did not mean to do this to you, or to Annie, or to Andrea, or to anybody else that got hurt by my selfishness and carelessness.” He turned his eyes from Nick to Andrea. “I don’t know what happened—I just started seeing you in a different way and the feelings overwhelmed me. I felt out of control and no matter what I tried, I could not get you out of my head.”

            “So you just felt like you should kiss her and that would help you?” Nick asked bitterly as he tried to break the eye contact between his wife and his new nemesis. AJ obliged, his eyes shifting back to him band mate.

            “I don’t know what you want me to say Nick. I can’t explain why I did it or what I thought would come from it. I could say that I was hoping she would leave you and come to me, I could say that I hoped you would never find out and this would all go away, and I could say that I am sorry, that I wished this never would have happened, but it wouldn’t do any good. You’re just going to need time to get over this.” He looked back at Andrea and then at Annie. “We are all just going to need time to get over this.”

            “We don’t have that much time Alex,” Annie interpolated.

            “I know we are supposed to get married in a week--”

            “Supposed to get married next week?” Annie asked sourly as her eyes filled with tears. “You don’t even want to marry me now?”
           
            “Annie, I love you. I do want to marry you, I’m just not sure that it would be a good idea to do it next week. We have so much to work out and I’m pretty sure we just lost half of our wedding party,” he said as he looked over at Nick and Andrea. “I just think maybe we should postpone it and then when things have settled down and I’m,
I’m--”

            “Not still hung up on my wife,” Nick threw in, using AJ’s loss for words as another avenue to get a personal jab in at him.

            “Yeah, Nick, when I’m not still hung up on your wife,” AJ shot back, sarcasm and disdain filling his voice.

            Nick jumped off from the couch and lunged at his band mate, his fist balled up and ready to fly. Alex stood up and walked so close to Nick their noses were almost touching. “Do it,” he challenged his old friend. “I dare you.”

            Annie lifted herself off the floor quickly and pushed Nick and AJ apart, stepping in between them. “Calm down before you do something else you will regret,” she shouted, her statement aimed more at Alex than at Nick.

            “Annie, get out of the way. You are not in the condition to be breaking up fights,” Andrea yelled at her cousin as she stood up to grab her cousin and move her out of harm’s way. When Annie resisted, she became frustrated and scared for the well being of her soon to “niece”. “**** it Annie, you have more than yourself to think about now!
Think about the bab--” She stopped abruptly as the word “baby” came out of her mouth.

            Alex back away from Nick, the color draining out of his face as he stumbled back into the chair. “What?” he asked, his voice cracking.

            “I’m pregnant,” Annie answered quietly. She was not sure how he would react, but she was hoping he would be happy. She saw his mouth open and knew his response was coming. The moment of truth, she thought to herself. When my son or daughter asks what daddy said when he found out mommy was pregnant—

            “How? You were supposed to be on birth control?” he asked, bringing her out of the internal monologue she was engrossed in.

            “I had to stop taking them,” she whispered, knowing she was going to have to explain herself to him and admit to him that she did it on purpose. I’m sorry baby, mommy didn’t mean to bring you into the world like this, she said as she ran her hand across her stomach. “Alex, I think we need to talk in private.”

 

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex asked softly as he and Annie settled down onto the couch after Nick and Andrea had left to go back to their suite.

            “About the baby or about going off my pills?” Annie asked meekly, still fearing what she had to tell him.

            “Both, I guess.”

            Annie took a deep breath and took Alex’s hands in her own. “Even though you may hate me when I finished, there is something you should know,” she began, trying to decide if she could look him in the eyes or if she should just continue looking at his hands as she had been doing.

            “Annie, look at me,” he instructed, making her decision for her. “Whatever you have to say to me could not possibly be worse than me kissing Andrea.” Annie nodded in agreement, even though she was not so sure he was right.

            “I didn’t tell you about going off of the birth control because I knew you would want to use condoms or some other form of prevention and I didn’t want that.” She broke the gaze with him and turned her head away, trying to keep the nauseated feeling that was overwhelming her at bay. She took a few more deep breaths, exhaling slowly as if hoping to cleanse her body of all the “bad air” that was milling her over inside.

            “I didn’t realize that you wanted to have kids right now,” he responded flatly, knowing there was more to her story than she was telling him.

            “I don’t, or I didn’t, I--” she stumbled, finding herself at a loss for words to explain herself. There’s no point in sugarcoating this, she told herself with contempt. “I knew about your ‘dilemma’ with Andrea; I overheard you talking to Steph on the phone the day you were telling her about your urges to drink. I was afraid that if you got a shot at Andrea you would realize that you wanted to be with her instead of me and I needed a way to hold on to you. When I didn’t think I would actually get pregnant I asked you to push up the wedding, figuring that if I could get you through the ceremony that you wouldn’t abandon me once we were married. When I went to doctor for my re-check the other day I found out about the pregnancy. I didn’t actually think it would happen but I was so happy, I thought that I had found my way to keep you.”

            AJ sat there, unable to move, his mind reeling with various thoughts, ranging from anger to distrust to excitement to disbelief. She trapped me, he thought to himself bitterly. Annie saw the scornful expression come across his face and it made her shudder. She got up off the couch and walked across the room to window. She ran her hands up and down her arms, rubbing them as if trying to warm herself as she stared out the window into the stone cold night.

            As he sat there on the couch thinking horrible thoughts about the woman carrying his baby, he watched her. He watched her shiver like the coldness on the other side of that window had come through to catch her, he watched her quickly wipe away the tears that would fall from her eyes every few seconds, and he watched her as she placed her hand on her stomach and whispered sentences to the child inside. His bitterness and disdain started to fade away, only to be replaced by guilt for his actions and acceptance for hers. I left her few other options, he admitted to himself as he continued to watch her. If I had been completely committed to her she would never have felt so desperate.

            When Annie looked back at the man she loved so much, she noticed the expression he was donning had changed. “What are you thinking? I need to know.”

            He stood up and walked towards her, his hands getting clammy and his pulse starting to race. When he was standing right in front of her, he lifted his hand up to her face quickly, causing her to move her head hastily in a defensive motion. “I’m not going to hit you,” he coaxed softly; shocked that she would even think that. “I would never do that.”

            “I know, but it’s not like I don’t deserve it.”

            He shook his head in disagreement and raised his hand up to her face again, sweeping his fingers through her luscious reddish brown locks as he had intended to do before. He let his fingers comb down from her temple to the end of her hair and when there was nothing else for his fingers to caress, he placed his hand on the middle of her back and ran it down her body. When he reached the small of her back he traced her waistline with his index finger around to her belly button.

            “I’m sorry Annie,” he said as he placed his hand palm down onto her stomach. “You did try and trap me, but I didn’t leave you with too many other options. I should have never put you in this position.”

            “I’m sorry too. I should have just confronted you about this whole thing instead of doing what I did.” She put her hand on top of his and leaned forward so that her head was pressing against his chest.

            He stroked the back of her hair with his free hand and continued to rest his other hand on her stomach. “We have a lot to work through together,” he started as he kissed her on the top of the head. “But I do know that I love you and I do know I want to marry you.” He stopped rubbing her head and used his hand to lift her chin up so she was looking at him. He kissed her passionately, never moving his other hand from her stomach. “And I do know I am happy we are having this baby.”

            She pulled back from him, almost as if she were afraid of what he just said. “Are you serious?” she asked cautiously, not wanting to get her hopes up and uncertain if he would change his mind.

            He pulled her back into him and turned her around so that her back was pressed against his front. He wrapped both arms around her and rested his hands on her stomach, rubbing up and down slowly. “Without a doubt,” he simply said.

            Annie turned back around so she was facing him. She looked him in the eyes as she spoke, “Promise me from this moment on that we will only look forward, never back. No, we can’t just forget about the past month or what happened tonight, but I want to deal with it and move on. No going back to it and no dwelling on it, for either of us. We both acted erroneously, and what you did was no worse than what I did and vice versa.”

            Alex nodded in agreement, but a troubled look came over his face as he did so. “What are we going to do about the wedding?”

            “I guess that depends on where you and Nick stand. I don’t want to wait any longer to marry you, and I don’t think that anybody that doesn’t know right now about what happened tonight needs to know. If he doesn’t want to be a part of our lives anymore, then we will deal with it, but there is no point in postponing the wedding and giving everyone on the guest list worked up and wondering if we are having problems.

            “True, but won’t people already be suspicious if he isn’t my best man and Andrea isn’t there?”

            “Andrea will be there, but it may cause a rift between her and Nick. I think you need to talk to him and smooth things over. He does have a really good reason for being so pissed at you, you can’t deny him that. Just work it out, you need to. Your friendship is not the only thing binding you two together my sexy Backstreet Boy.” She gave him a playful smile and swatted him on the butt.

            “You know you love it,” he played back as he walked over the phone and picked up the receiver. He dialed room 513 and listed to it ring twice. Before anyone answered he hung up the phone. “I’m just going to go down there, you coming?”

            Annie grabbed a room key and they walked out the door and down the hallway to Nick and Andrea’s suite. AJ knocked on the door and heard footsteps approaching.

            “What do you want?” an angry voice asked.

            “Nick, we need to talk. Can we come in?”

            “She can, you can’t,” he responded childishly pointing to Annie and then to AJ.

            “Nick, please,” Annie pleaded, stepping into the conversation. “You know you have to deal with this and since the night is pretty much ruined for all of us anyway, it might as well be dealt with tonight.” She stepped inside the hotel room before Nick could respond or shut the door in her face. She walked into the bedroom where Andrea was sitting on the bed and starting talking to her, leaving the two boys by themselves at the door.

            “Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave them there alone?” Andrea asked half cautiously and half jokingly.

            “They are big boys, they can work it out,” Annie responded smiling. I’m so glad I haven’t lost this part of my life, she thought to herself and she and her cousin laughed and joked together as they had done so many times before.

            “How did things go with Alex?” Andrea asked once the laughter had died down. “It appears to have went well,” she continued, noticing the engagement ring back on her cousin’s left hand.

 

            “Yeah…” she said as she looked at her ring. Annie had taken it off after she saw Alex kissing Andrea and was not sure she would ever put it back on. “We are still planning on keeping the wedding scheduled for next week. I hope you will be there to celebrate with me.”

            “Of course I will. And I know you and Alex are worried about it right now, but Nick will be there too, I promise you that. He loves Alex too much to miss out on it, and he loves him too much to keep up this angry fight much longer. Those two are like spaghetti and meatballs, one without the other just isn’t the same and they both know it.”

            “I hope you’re right,” said Annie as she walked over the door and peaked into the living room at her fiancé and her brother in law, which is how she referred to Nick for all intents and purposes. “Andrea, come here, quick!” she screeched and she waved her hand for Andrea to come over by her.

            Andrea peered through the crack in the door to see what Annie was so enthralled with. “Awww, I knew they would work it out,” Andrea said with a big smile on her face. Now all I have to work out is getting these feelings about AJ out of my head. Damn that man for opening this can of worms.

 

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

“Wow, I can’t believe how warm it is here in December,” Andrea noted as she popped open the trunk of the rental car that she had rented for the duration of their stay in sunny California.

“Yep, I don’t think it will be hard to adjust from Wisconsin winters to California winters at all,” Annie joked as she took her sweatshirt off and revealed a tank top. “No sleeves in December, it’s all good!”

“And this gives me great incentive to visit you quite often from October to April.”

“Do you really need an incentive? That’s so unkind,” Annie said with mock sadness on her face as Andrea nodded her head up and down to tease her cousin even more.

“You should know by now that I am just not a nice person,” Andrea chided back with the most serious face and tone of voice she could muster. Annie cracked up as soon as she said it, causing Andrea to “break character” and laugh too.

“You’re the devil,” Annie squeaked out in the best Mike Myers on Saturday Night Live impression she could handle between her fits of laughter.

“Okay girls, we have to leave, like now,” Nick interrupted with a hint of panic in his voice as he emerged from the airport with his bags.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Andrea asked as she watched her frenzied husband throw a bunch of luggage into the trunk and slam it shut.

“AJ and I were recognized when we were getting the rest of the luggage,” Nick stammered as he was trying to catch his breath from his jog through the baggage claim with his and AJ’s luggage flung over his shoulders. He stood next to the car frantically watching for the exit doors to the airport to open.

“Where is Alex?” Annie asked as she noticed the blatant stare down Nick was having with the two sliding pieces of glass.

“He threw his bags at me and told me to run. He ran the opposite direction and yelled that he would meet me at the car and then I lost sight of him. When the girls saw me just standing there, they started running towards me and I took off. Luckily there were some security guards monitoring baggage claim and they held the girls back while I got away. I hope Alex got that lucky too.” Nick grabbed his cell phone out of his jeans pocket to call Alex and find out where he was, but before the phone even rang once he heard Alex yelling.

“In the car, now!” AJ screamed as he came bounding through the doors, his arms flailing in front of him. Annie, Andrea and Nick jumped into the car and Nick started the engine as AJ approached the car. Annie had propped open the door for him and he leaped into the car and slammed the door shut quickly.

“GO!” he yelled at Nick as seven screaming girls emerged from the airport in hot pursuit. The squeal of the tires on the pavement almost drowned out the screams of the fanatic girls trying to get a piece of what they always felt would be unattainable. Just as the car shot out of its parking space, one of the teenagers made an attempt to jump onto the car, but unfortunately for her and fortunately for the passengers in the car she was about a half a second too late and she came crashed down onto the ground as the car sped away.

“Holy shit, did you just see that?” AJ exclaimed as he, Annie and Andrea were staring out the back window of the car. “She just totally took a body dive for the car and missed!”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m laughing at that, she could have been hurt,” Annie stammered in between bouts of muffled laughter. “But that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen! Too bad we didn’t get that on tape!”

“Dude, that is so mean! I guess you’re the devil now,” Andrea laughed as she copied Annie’s impersonation from earlier.

Nick and AJ started laughing along with them when Andrea continued her re-enactment of the entire skit that Mike Myers and Nicole Kidman had done on Saturday Night Live. By the time she had finished everyone had tears in their eyes and a sore stomach from laughing so hard.

“You are so funny,” Annie squealed as she gasped for air.

“For real,” Alex concurred as he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. Andrea glimpsed at him before she turned around in her seat and their eyes met. She gave him a brief smile then looked away quickly and turned her focus to the road ahead of her. I wonder what he is thinking right now, she thought to herself. Has he put his feelings for me away? I don’t know how he could just turn them off like that, because I sure as hell can’t seem too.

Andrea placed her hand on Nick’s and entwined her fingers in his as if that would mask the thoughts that were running through her head of another man and bring her back to the man she had married. Nick looked over at her and smiled, ignorant to what was under the surface of those emerald green eyes he adored so much.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Nick commented rhetorically as he lifted her hand to his mouth and softly kissed it. “I love you Dre.”

“I love you more,” Andrea said with a smile, then turned her face away and continued looking out the window.

Alex looked out the window after his brief eye lock with his fiancé’s best friend, a million thoughts running through his head. What was that look about? He wondered to himself as the car moved closer and closer to his house. Are we ever going to be able to just hang out together again without one of us desiring to make a move on the other? She loves Nick and I love Annie, so why are we so drawn to each other?

Knowing that he needed to get his mind off Andrea and focused on something else he started asking Annie about the final wedding details that needed attention before Saturday. They quickly became enveloped in their own conversation, which spared AJ the anguish he would have surely felt had he witnessed the tender moment Nick and Andrea had just shared.

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

            After the foursome arrived at Alex’s Malibu mansion they went their separate ways to unpack and get settled, Andrea and Nick to one room and Annie and Alex to another.

            “Is everything okay baby?” Nick asked empathetically, noticing that Andrea seemed agitated and preoccupied with more than just unpacking. She was ruffling through her suitcases, attempting to organize her clothes before putting them away in the dresser drawers, but all she was actually doing was folding and refolding the same shirts over and over again.

            “I am just getting a little stir crazy, that’s all,” she responded, lying through her teeth. “We’ve been in a car or on a plane since six o’clock this morning and I just need to go for a walk and get some fresh air.”

            “Go for a walk on the beach,” Nick suggested, not wanting to press his wife about the issue any further. The past few days were hard on her emotionally and she didn’t need him adding to it right now. “Just go out the back door and down the steps, they lead right to the beach.”

            “I think I will, thanks for the suggestion,” she responded as she walked over to Nick and stood on her tip-toes to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll take my cell phone with me in case you need to get a hold of me.” She kissed him again and then walked out of the room quickly.

            She walked down the under-decorated hallway, pausing in Annie and Alex’s doorway. She listened for voices or sounds that would ensure they were in their together and would not see her leave. She heard dresser drawers opening and closing and the sound of boxes being shuffled from place to place, but heard no one talking.

            They must be too busy putting all of Annie’s crap away to talk, she laughed to herself as she remembered helping Annie pack all of the items she was going to take with her for her move to California.

            “Do you really need to take three different types of hairdryers? And why are taking things that you can             replace when you get there? If you pack every single item you have in this house, you’re going to need seven             moving trucks to get your stuff there!”
            “Dude, what am I supposed to do with this stuff I don’t move it with me?”
            “Have you ever heard of Goodwill or throwing it away?”
            “You know I can’t throw stuff away.”
            “Here, let me do it then.”

            She almost laughed out loud as she reminisced about that conversation and how she had grabbed a garbage bag and nonchalantly started throwing miscellaneous items into it while Annie sat on the bed gaping at her in disbelief.

            “I’m really gonna miss having you around all the time,” she whispered to herself as she walked away from the doorway and made her way down the stairs towards the back door to the mansion. Her eyes started to tear up at the thought of this, causing her to not be able to see very well as she walked through the kitchen and into the living room.

            She hurried so fast to get outside and onto the beach away from the house that she did not look into the living room as she walked through it, thus not noticing that Alex was standing there by himself, watching her walk out of the house and down the steps to the beach.

            She ran down the steps as fast as she could, almost falling a few times as she did so. As soon as her feet hit the sand she took off full speed, trying her hardest not to trip. She ran until she could no longer see the mansion, then fell to her knees and screamed as loud as she possibly could.

            “AAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGG!” she cried at the top of her lungs as she slammed her fists down into the sand in frustration. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed it, still breathing heavy from her sprint down the stairs and the beach.

 

            “Come on Michelle, answer the phone. You always know what to do,” she pleaded as the phone just rang and rang.

            Just as the voice mail was about to pick up she heard a click and a quiet “Hello”.

            “Michelle, its Andrea, I need your help,” she said despairingly into the phone. Michelle was one of Andrea’s High School classmates and they remained close to this day. Andrea was a bridesmaid in her wedding, as was Michelle in Andrea’s.

            “What’s wrong honey?”

            “It’s this thing with Alex. I can’t get him out of my head ever since that kiss. I had no feelings for him what so ever before that, and now I’m having this mental and emotional affair on Nick!”

            “Okay, just slow down for a minute. Step back and take a good look at what you’re feeling about AJ. Do you feel love for him or do you feel desire for him? I think your problem is that you know he wants you but he’s not acting on it right now like he did the night you kissed, and now you are upset about that and you crave for him to keep wanting you even though you have no real intention of doing anything with him, and all of that is overwhelming your mind. Think about it for a little while and see what you come up with. I’m sure once you’ve had time to rationalize everything, you will have a new perspective on the whole situation.”

            “I hope you’re right. I’m sorry I called you at work, but I didn’t know what else to do or who else to call.”

            “Don’t worry about it; you know I’m always here for you, whenever you need me.”

            “Thanks babe, I’ll talk to you later.”

            “Bye hon.”

            Andrea snapped her phone shut and kneeled in the sand in silence for a minute or so. Okay, do I love him? Is what Michelle said true? Am I only wanting him because he’s not outwardly wanting me? Andrea continued to mull over all the suggestions and advice her friend had given her as she stood up and continued her trek down the beach.

            “What if I do love him?” she said out loud, as tears started falling down her face. “What if he flipped a switch that was always waiting to be turned on and now there’s no way for me to shut it off? How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me? Why Alex, WHY!?” she screamed into her hands, the frustration and anger of the whole situation taking its final toll on her.

            “Because I am selfish,” a deep, regret-filled voice said from behind her. Andrea had been so deep in thought and so inundated by her own turmoil she had paid little attention to her surroundings, which included her noticing AJ following her down the beach.

            “What?” she asked him without turning around to face him.

            “I am selfish,” he stated again. “My therapist called it Kindergarten Syndrome: He has it, so I want it, but once I have it I won’t want it anymore. But what I didn’t realize is that I can have it too, just with a different person.”

            “So all this, all the heartache you caused me, and all the confusion you made me feel, all the guilt that plagues me, all the pain you put Nick and Annie through, all of it was just because you couldn’t control yourself?” She wheeled around and looked him in the eyes, making sure he saw all the fire and rage burning in hers. “You fucked with my head and my emotions and MY HEART and your whole reasoning is Kindergarten Syndrome?”

            “Andrea, please--”

            “Please what?” she snorted, cutting him off. She was so upset at this point her body was trembling and she physically felt like she was going to vomit. “Please don’t get so upset? Please don’t yell at you? Well, you know what—I am through caring about what you want! You have shown no consideration for my feelings when you decided to have your little “five year-old” fit, so fuck you and fuck what you want! You are way more than selfish, you are an asshole, a pig, a fucked up piece of shit!” She wanted to continue defaming him, continue denigrating his character, but the tears began to brim her eyes once more and she could no longer stand to look at him.

            She looked around frantically as her mouth started to water and her stomach began to churn. She saw a metal trash can a few feet away that appeared to be used for fires and ran to it, lowering her head into it as far as she could. She retched and gagged, the entire contents of her stomach emptying into the garbage can. AJ hurried over to her and tried to help her by pulling her hair back.

            “Get away from me!” she yelled as she tried to keep him at bay by outstretching her arm and pushing it against him. She continued to heave into the garbage can, crying hysterically as she did so.
           
            When there was nothing else inside her to come up, she stood over the garbage can for a minute, using both her hands to support her. She felt weak and dizzy, she felt deflated and used, she felt like the biggest fool in the world. Once again, AJ tried to touch her, to comfort her in some way, but only succeeded in agitating her more.

            “Don’t touch me, don’t freakin--” she began, but faltered as she began to wobble on the garbage can, her legs almost giving out under her. AJ went to grab her, to keep her from falling, but she slapped his hand away, using the last ounce of fight she had in her to do so. As her hand smacked against his, her legs gave out completely and she cascaded onto the sand.

 

            “It’s okay, I got you,” Alex soothed her as his arms cradled her before she hit the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he did the same around her waist.

            “Oh Alex, what are we going to do?” she sobbed into his shoulder as he held her, her body trembling and exhausted.

            “I’m so sorry Andrea. I’ve made such a mess out of things, and I never meant to hurt you. You need to realize that you don’t have anything more than platonic feelings for me; you only think you do because I confused you with that kiss.”

            “Well you seem so sure about that; so what about your feelings for me?”

            “All I can say is that under different circumstances, maybe we could have had something, but after Saturday night, I realized that putting myself in hypothetical situations and playing the what-if game only ends up hurting everyone involved. No good comes of it. After Annie told me we are going to have a baby, something just clicked. It made me remember all of things I love about her, and I realized how much I am in love with her. Now I can honestly say, baby or no baby, she is the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

            “So you can just forget about me like that?”

            “Andrea, I will never forget about you. You are an amazing woman, and we are going to make so many more memories together. You are one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I never want to lose that friendship. It’s going to take a while to get it back, I’m sure, but once I have it again, I’m not going to let it go anywhere.”

            “Thank you. I needed to hear this.”

            “I know you did. And I needed to say it. I’m the one that caused you this pain and I had finally figured out a way to help fix it. When I saw you walk out of the house alone I followed you, knowing this would be my only chance to talk to you alone.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Andrea.

            After wiping her eyes and rinsing her mouth out with some water from the water bottle Alex brought with him, she allowed him to help her stand up. He held onto her as they walked slowly back to his house, helping her keep her balance. “I can’t believe I made you vomit,” he said smiling, laughter infiltrating the sadness that had previously filled his eyes.

            “Shut up, you’re lucky I didn’t vomit on you…cause I really wanted to.” Andrea also cracked a smile, although it took more energy that she had to spare. Actually, that was the way it had been a lot lately; lack of energy and feeling purely exhausted. The vomiting was something new though, and something she hoped wouldn’t happen again for a very long time.

            Alex noticed her eyes roll slightly back into her head, signifying to him that she really wasn’t doing well and was in serious need of something to eat and some rest. He also noticed the color had not returned to her face yet, which he thought was quite odd. “Come on sweetie, let’s get up the stairs and then you can lie down.” As they approached the first step he lifted under her armpits to help her take the step up, but she just could not make it.

            “Alex, I can’t--” she breathed, then without a warning collapsed into his arms.

            “Hang on baby,” he grunted as he slid his right arm under her legs and wrapped his left arm under her back and lifted her off the ground. He carried her up the forty-three steps from the beach to his back yard and started yelling for Nick as soon as he navigated the last step.

            Nick came bounding out of the house when he heard AJ’s cries, Annie following right after him. Nick relieved AJ of his carrying duties, scooping Andrea out of his friend’s arms. He took her inside and laid her on the couch while AJ frantically told them what happened on the beach and expressed his doubts that the vomiting episode Andrea had would make her pass out like this.

            When Andrea woke up a few hours later, she never expected the news that she was delivered.

 

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

            “Uhhh,” Andrea moaned as she was brought out of the fog by a ringing sound. After the second chime she realized it was a telephone. She was lying on her back and as she tried to lift her right arm off the bed and roll over onto her left side she grimaced as pain shot up from the bend in her arm to her shoulder. She looked down to where the pain was radiating from and saw all the signs that blood had been taken, and from the way her arm felt it must have been quite a bit.

            She used her left arm to push herself up and once she was in a sitting position in the bed, she swung her legs off the side of the bed and sat like that for a moment to steady herself. “Ohh,” she moaned again, realizing how truly crappy she felt. Her head was spinning, she felt sick to her stomach, and her body was so weak it was shaking. “Where is everybody?” she asked rhetorically as she used the wall to brace herself so she could make her way to the bedroom door and open it.

            As she stepped into the hallway she heard voices, one male voice sounded as if he was on the phone, another male voice was asking what “she” was saying, and a female voice was telling one of the male voices to be quiet and let “him” talk. Allowing the wall to guide and support her once more she moved ever so gingerly down the hall until she reached the landing at the top of the stairs.

            “Oh, I’m gonna barf,” she said aloud, getting dizzy and nauseated as she looked down the staircase. She started to wobble and grabbed onto the railing to catch herself. She took each step like a toddler, putting one foot onto a stair and then the other onto the same stair and so on until she reached the landing at the bottom. She let out a loud sigh as she planted her feet on level ground, causing the three bodies that accompanied the voices she heard to turn around and look at her.

            “Andrea, what are you doing? Come sit down,” Annie panted as she ushered her cousin over the couch and threw a blanket around Andrea’s visibly shaking body. Nick looked tenderly at his wife for a moment and then turned his attention back to phone call he was on as Annie sat down next her cousin on the couch and held her in her arms. Annie, Andrea and AJ listened intently to the one-sided conversation from Nick, Andrea wondering who he was talking and what he was talking about, while Annie and AJ wondered how they were going to help Nick tell his wife the news that was going to change all of their lives forever.

            A minute later Nick gently placed the handset back on the receiver and turned around to face the three people staring at him with wide, questioning eyes and fearful expressions.

            “The doctor wants us to go down to the hospital; she has some more procedures she needs to do now because of the results from the preliminary blood tests that came back,” Nick explained, trying his hardest to keep his voice from cracking.

            “Nick, what are you talking about? What happened? I was just walking on the beach with AJ and then I woke up in the bed. What is going on?” Andrea asked as pulled her hand away from her chest thinking that might make it feel lighter.

            “You passed out, from what we didn’t know, but now we are finding out,” AJ said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “No matter what the doctor tells you though, we are all here for you. You are not going to be alone through any of this, I promise you.”

            Andrea looked over at AJ and saw the compassion and sincerity in his chocolate eyes, but noticed his lips told a different story. He’s worried, she noted to herself. He’s keeping something from me…they all are. She broke her gaze with him and looked down at her cold, clammy hands, then realizing they were shaking she clasped them together in an attempt to stop it.

            “Come on baby,” Nick coaxed as he walked over to her and pulled her off the couch to a standing position. “We have to get going.” He wrapped the blanket around her tightly, hoping it would make the shivering stop, and escorted her out to the car with his arms holding onto her securely and protectively. “Are you guys coming?” he asked over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

            “Yeah,” said Annie as she and AJ rushed out the door behind Nick and Andrea.

 

            Fifteen minutes later all four were sitting in the office of Dr. Elizabeth Gabella waiting for her to join them.

            “Good afternoon everyone,” a cheery, professional voice said from behind them. Four heads turned around simultaneously and gave the doctor apprehensive smiles. “I met some of you earlier, but I did not have the pleasure of introducing myself to our patient,” she said smiling as she walked in front of Andrea and extended her hand. “I’m Dr. Gabella and I will be handling you case for the duration of your stay in Malibu.”

            Silently Andrea shook the doctor’s hand, never looking up to meet her pleasant gaze. Dr. Gabella understood her anxiety and passiveness, knowing Andrea had good reason to feel that way. She walked around her desk and took a seat in the large, cushioned captain’s chair. She scooted the chair forward so that her lower body was tucked comfortably under the large black-cherry wood desk and rested her arms on top of it with her hands folded together.

            “Okay Andrea, I’m sure you’re wondering what is going on and why you are here,” Dr. Gabella began, speaking clearly and articulately. The sound of her voice brought a calm feeling to Andrea, even though the tension was bubbling beneath her skin. “I took some blood samples from you after arriving at your friend’s house and brought them back here to test. The first thing the results showed was the presence of HCG in your blood; do you know what that is?”

            Annie gasped as a smile spread across her face. She knew what it was from her own doctor’s appointment a week and a half ago. Andrea, Nick and AJ looked over at her, and her eyes filled with tears of happiness. We’ve shared experiences and done almost everything else in our lives together, and now we get to do this together too, she thought happily to herself. She moved her hand down to her flat belly and rubbed it slightly hoping Andrea would realize what the doctor was telling her.

            While Andrea sat dumbfounded in her chair, trying to figure out what her cousin was trying say, Nick and AJ caught on right away.

            Nick let out a squeal as he jumped out of his chair and pulled his worn-out wife onto her feet, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the ground as he did so. Dr. Gabella leaned back in her chair with a smile spread across her lips, glad that they could have this moment of happiness before she dropped the bombshell on them.

            “We are going to have a baby!” Nick shouted as he set Andrea down and leaned in to kiss her. She turned to look at the doctor, who nodded her head in confirmation.

            “Oh my God,” Andrea squealed as kissed her husband, then turned around and allowed Annie to smother her with hugs. “I can’t believe this, we are pregnant together!” The two girls shrieked causing Nick and AJ to cover their ears and give goofy looks to each other.

            “Congratulations Mom and Dad,” Dr. Gabella said, trying to coral everyone back in their seats and focus them back to the other matter she had to discuss with them. “There is something else that I need to talk to you about Andrea.”

            Andrea turned back to Dr. Gabella, her stomach turning over at the sound of her voice, fear rising up in her throat like vomit. She quickly sat down in her chair, tugging at the hem on the bottom of Nick’s shirt for him to do that same. Once everyone was seated again, they waited impatiently for Dr. Gabella to continue.

            “I ran several tests with your blood sample trying to figure out why you blacked out and feel so run down and exhausted. Pregnancy is definitely a cause of that, and if that would have been the first test I got back, I might have cancelled the rest thinking I found the culprit. However, I did get a few tests back before the HCG test, and that is what I need to talk to you about now.” Dr. Gabella’s face was somber, which flawlessly matched her tone of voice.

            Andrea looked into her eyes this time, as if pleading with Dr. Gabella to spare her the bad news that was looming in front of her. “Okay, I’m listening,” was all she managed to say.

 

            “I found a cancer marker in one of your blood tests and we need to do further tests to determine what stage you are in. Being pregnant does not pose any risks to your heath right now, but I will be able to tell you more after the mammogram and surgery.” Dr. Gabella stopped, letting what she had just said sink in to the minds of every person present, wondering to herself if she had done a good enough job breaking the news. It is never easy telling someone they have cancer, she thought to herself gravely. Especially someone so young.

            Andrea said silent in her chair, her face showing no emotion or even understanding of what she had just been told. It was as if her body had separated from her mind and she heard nothing the doctor had said.

            “Andrea?” Dr. Gabella asked, concerned that she had not gotten a reaction out of her patient.

            “I’m sorry,” started Andrea, shaking free of the blackness she was previously consumed in. “I didn’t catch that.”

            “I know this is hard to hear, but ignoring it or pretending it isn’t there isn’t going to make it go away,” Dr. Gabella said gently. From the expression on Andrea’s face, she was not sure if Andrea was pretending or if she really didn’t hear what she had told her.

            “Make what go away?” Andrea asked, completely perplexed by what Dr. Gabella was saying to her.

            “Baby, didn’t you hear what she just told us?” Nick asked as he took his wife’s hand in his and held it tightly. A tear fell out of each eye and rolled pensively down his cheeks.

            Andrea looked at her husband, then back at Dr. Gabella, then over at Annie and Alex, then back to Dr. Gabella. “Why is everyone staring at me like I’m a cancer patient? What is wrong? No I didn’t hear what she said…all I heard was something about a marker and that was it.”

            Dr. Gabella took a deep breath. She knew that Andrea was dissociating herself from the situation and that she had blocked out the bad news before it hit her ears to prevent herself anymore anguish. “The marker I was talking about, Andrea was a cancer marker. In the test I ran, it determined that you have breast cancer.”

            Tears filled Andrea’s eyes as the words the doctor spoke filtered through her ears and into her brain. I’m going to die, she panicked inside, her ability to rationalize and think logically abandoning her quickly. What about the baby? What about my life? Why is this happening?

            “Andrea, I know this is scary to hear, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.” Andrea turned her focus back to Dr. Gabella, ready for what she had to say next. “I am 90% sure that we caught this early, but we need to do a mammogram and most likely surgery to verify that. If we caught it early enough, all you will need is a lumpectomy right away and possibly some cancer therapy after the baby is born.”

            Andrea nodded and Dr. Gabella picked up the phone and starting making the proper calls to schedule the procedures Andrea needed. She sat there quietly, a tear falling from an eye every few seconds. She felt Nick tighten his grip on her hand, and she started to cry harder as the realization that the hopes and dreams she had for her life no longer carried a guarantee of coming true, a realization that slapped her sharply across the face.

 

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

          “I think she’s coming to, get the nurse”

          Where is that voice coming from? I can’t move anything; it’s so hard to breath. Open eyes, open up! Am I dead?

          “She’s trying to open her eyes. Andrea, can you hear me?”

          It’s so bright; I can’t keep my eyes open. Am I in Heaven? I know that voice; is Nick in Heaven with me?

          “Andrea, I’m Sam, your nurse. You are coming out of the anesthesia and that can be very frightening. Try to open your eyes for me.”

          Do what she says, open eyes, open again.

          “Good girl. I know you feel sleepy but just focus on my voice. Does it seem like you are having a hard time breathing? That’s expected; it happens when the anesthesia wears off. Just continue taking slow deep breaths. Your throat is going to tickle and feel scratchy from the breathing tube being inserted and extracted from surgery. I am going to check your vitals while you relax.”

          “Okay,” a barely audible whisper tried to escape Andrea’s mouth.

          “Go ahead and talk to her,” Sam said to someone behind her, but Andrea couldn’t see who because she was unable to lift her head up yet.

          “Hi baby, I’m here,” a comforting voice said as the body it belonged to approached the bed and snatched her hand up into his. He continued to rub her hand and talk to her while the nurse finished her tasks.
         
          “Dr. Gabella should be in shortly to talk about how the surgery went and where to go from here. Try to get to wake up a little more so she is alert when the doctor comes to talk to her.”

          Sam walked out of the room and Nick took a seat on the bed next to his wife. “Everyone that was here before you went into surgery is down in the waiting room. No one wanted to leave until you were out and they could talk to you.”

          “I’m here too,” Annie said as she abandoned her perch against the wall and walked over to Andrea’s bedside. Annie and Nick kept talking to Andrea and five minutes later they had raised the head of her bed so she was sitting up more and she was half-heartedly taking part in their conversations.

          “Knock knock,” a female voice cheerfully announced as the door opened. “How is our patient doing?”

          “Hey Dr. Gabella, she is doing okay,” responded Nick as he smiled down at his wife.

          “Well, good news. The surgery went very well. We were able to extract the cancerous lump and no cancer had spread from the lump to anywhere else like I had initially thought. I’m sure you were happy to wake up with both breasts, instead of one like you expected,” she said to Andrea.

          Oh my God, I didn’t even remember, she said to herself, startled. She lifted her hand up and felt across her chest as a tear fell down her cheek as the awareness that she wasn’t going to be “less of woman” like she had previously feared would happen from the mastectomy she was supposed to have. She winced in pain as she pressed too hard against the breast that had just been operated on.

          “Careful sweetie, that’s going to be sore for a couple of weeks,” Dr. Gabella said with a smile. “Well, I am going to get your discharge paperwork ready. It’ll give you the full rundown of post-surgery care as well as the follow-up appointments you’ll need to make. I’ll be back with those and some final information for you in a little while. Any questions before I go?”

          It was at that moment Andrea remembered the tiny, helpless life growing inside her, and she now found it even harder to breathe than before. “The baby,” she whispered, still discovery the difficulty that talking normally was posing to her.

          Dr. Gabella placed her hand on top of Andrea’s and smiled warmly at her. “We did an ultrasound at the end of the surgery and the baby looks wonderful. We picked up heart patterns, brain activity, and the baby’s measurements were right on the money for being 10 weeks pregnant.”

          “Thank you Doctor,” Nick said as he bent down and kissed Andrea on the forehead, then gently on her lips.

          “My pleasure,” was all Dr. Gabella said before leaving the room. I wish all cases turned out this way, she reflected to herself as she pulled the door to Andrea’s room shut.


          After Dr. Gabella had come back with the discharge instructions and follow-up information, Annie walked down the hall to the waiting room to tell everyone what the doctor had said.

          “She has to stay for another hour or so until all the anesthesia has worn off and she feels okay to walk, but you can go down to the room one by one and talk to her if you want,” Annie explained as she wiped a few tears away that had fallen out of her eyes from all the stress she was dealing with.

          “Sweetie, how are you holding up? I know this hasn’t been easy for you, especially with Alex being away,” Brian asked as he stood up from the under-stuffed couch in the waiting area and pulled Annie into a warm, friendly hug.

          “I’ve had better days, but I’m just so relieved that the surgery went the way it did, and that the baby is fine. I can’t think what that would do to her if something happened to her baby and I carry a healthy baby to term, you know? It would crush me, so I know it would kill her. And I can’t wait for AJ to get home.” She glanced at her watch. “He should land in four hours and be home shortly after.” AJ had flown back to Orlando to handle some real estate business and was supposed to have gotten back last night but had been delayed.

          “I know. We truly have so much to be thankful for,” he responded as he bent his head and silently thanked God for being with him and his “family” during this time.

          One by one all the guys and Andrea’s mom and dad, who had flown in from WI for her surgery, took turns going down to see her. As the waiting room emptied and everyone went home to get some rest, Annie plopped down on the dreadful couch and sighed. She rubbed her temples with her fingertips for a minute or so trying to ease the pressure that was building in her head.

          “My blood pressure must be through the roof,” she said out loud with a snicker. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. Even the fact that the couch was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture she’d ever sat on didn’t prevent her from dozing off. When she awakened ten minutes later, she felt like she had been sleeping for hours.

          “Thank God for cat naps,” she laughed as she lifted herself up and walked back down the hall. When she reached Andrea’s room and walked in, she found Andrea sitting on the side of the bed slipping her feet into her flip flops. As she pushed the door open further and entered the room completely she saw a familiar face sitting in the chair behind the bed.

          “AJ, what are you doing here?” she squealed as she ran over to him and allowed herself to be wrapped up into his strong lean arms.

          “Well, wife of mine, I thought I would surprise you. I was able to get a earlier flight back and jumped on it. I missed you and I wanted to see how everything went with Andrea.”

          “Well, husband of mine, I’m glad you did,” she said as she kissed him. Even though Andrea had gotten the news of her cancer a few days before the wedding, they still carried out the ceremony as planned. Andrea refused to allow them to change anything because of her, and today marked the one month anniversary of the wedding. Now both girls were happily married, halfway through their first trimesters and life was starting to fall into place once again.

          Andrea stood up from the bed and cringed slightly as she moved her arm to fast and irritated the bandaged area of her body. Nick, Annie and Alex all jumped towards as if she was in danger, and she started laughing.

          “All of you need to take a chill pill, seriously! I may have a hole in my boob but I’m not helpless,” she joked as she made a funny face at them. Even though she felt horrible and just wanted get back to AJ’s house and relax, she wanted to reassure them that she was going to be okay; something she also needed to reassure herself of. She looked at the three faces looking back at her, and tears welled up in her eyes so fast there was no hope of keeping them contained.

          “Thank you, for everything,” she said to them as she cried. “As I was lying on the gurney in the operating room before they put me under I was so scared that I would never get to tell you guys that. So, thank you.”

          Annie began to cry with her cousin and gently pulled her into a hug, being extra careful not to hurt her. “I was so scared that I would never get to say a lot of things to you. I’m so happy you’re all right.”

          “Me too,” Andrea responded as she wiped her tears away and smiled. “Now get me out of here, I’m so ready to blow this Popsicle stand.” Everyone chuckled, glad to see that Andrea was at least acting like she was back to normal. Nick put his arm around his wife and kissed her tenderly as they walked to the elevator. On the ride down, Andrea smiled and reflected on the past year and a half to herself, in a nutshell: I grieved, laughed, lied, loved, got married, got impregnated, and survived. That’s quite a road back home.

The End.

Epilogue coming soon

 

Epilogue

Epilogue

          As a loud crack of thunder echoed through the house that hot August night, the baby started to cry from the other room. A newly slender Annie and a very pregnant Andrea were sitting in the living room of Nick’s beach house in Florida, watching TV, or rather trying to watch TV between the intermittent disruptions of power from the storm blowing outside.

          “I’ll get him,” huffed Andrea as she hoisted herself off the couch and onto to her feet.

          “You can barely walk and you’re not even going to be able to bend over the crib and pick him up,” protested Annie as she made a motion to get up only to realize that she was still “attached” to the breast pump she was using to express milk for the baby.

          “Annie, it’s okay. He’s in the bassinet instead of the crib anyway because I couldn’t bend over the top of the crib to lay him down in it when I put him to bed,” Andrea responded laughing as she rubbed her enormously swollen, past-due belly. “And besides, you’re busy collecting important nutrients for my God-child.” She gave Annie a silly grin as the baby screeched again.

          Andrea shuffled into the downstairs bedroom where baby Dre had been sleeping peacefully until the thunder woke him up. She picked up the two and a half week old infant and rocked him gently, her round belly making the perfect shelf to rest him on as she did so. She hummed to him softly and within a minute he had drifted back to sleep. As she waddled back out into the living room after laying Dre back in his bassinet, she noticed Annie was done pumping and was looking at her watch anxiously.

          “What’s wrong sweetie?” Andrea asked her cousin already knowing the answer. “You know how long it takes them to make a food run, they always get sidetracked by something,” she continued, not waiting for Annie to answer her.

          “Yeah, I know, but don’t you remember what happened the last time a food run took this long?”

          Andrea remembered all too well; that was the night that Annie went into labor a week early. Nick and Alex had gone on the usual late night food run, that night it was to Mr. Chow’s because the girls had wanted Asian food and neither Nick nor AJ had remembered to grab a cell phone before they walked out the door. Ten minutes after the boys had left, Annie’s water broke while she was standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of milk. With no way to contact her husband or Nick, and with neither of the girls able to fit behind the steering wheel, Annie had to figure out an alternate way to the hospital.

          While Nick and AJ were sitting in Mr. Chow’s waiting for their order, completely unaware of what was happening at home, a group of girls had noticed them and by the time Nick and AJ were ready to leave twenty minutes later, Nick’s car was surrounded by fans. It had taken almost an hour for the restaurant to get security on the scene and clear the girls away. As they rushed though the door to Nick’s house expecting to find two cranky, hungry pregnant women, they found a note on the table instead. Nick and AJ ran through the door to Annie’s birthing suite as she was starting to push, and forty-three minutes later, Andrew Nickolas McLean, or Dre for short, was welcomed into the world.

          “I’m sure they will be right back,” Andrea responded with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. “At least this time they have their cell phones with them.”

          The girls sat and waited for another thirty minutes, Annie watching Andrea like a hawk, until Nick and Alex walked through the door.

          “Sorry ladies, a tree fell across the road on Jackson and we were detoured all the way out to Morgan and had to take Phillips home. Is everyone doing okay?” said Nick in one breath as he walked over to his wife and placed his hand on her belly.

          “Yeah, everyone is doing fine,” Andrea replied as she leaned her head back and Nick bent down to kiss her. “I don’t think this baby is even close to wanting out.”

          “I don’t blame him or her, I like being inside you too,” said Nick with a sexy smile.

          “Dirrtty,” Annie said as she pretended to gag, which caused Andrea to laugh even harder. Once calmness had once again regained control of the room, they all sat down to eat.

          During the middle of the night, Andrea was sick to her stomach and had emptied the contents of it a few times. I guess the Mexican food didn’t agree with me, she thought to herself and she rinsed her mouth out and walked back into the bedroom.

          “Are you okay baby?” Nick asked he sat up in bed.

          “Food just didn’t settle right, I’m okay,” she told him as she lay down on the bed and allowed him to hold her. He massaged her back and tried to make her as comfortable as a pregnant lady who’s overdue by a week and a half can be. Andrea lay in bed until morning, unable to find a comfy position and sleeping very little. She had a doctor’s appointment at 9:00 and hoped everything was going to be okay.

          “Andrea, we are going to induce labor,” her doctor told her the next morning. “You are almost two weeks past your due date, the baby is ready to come out, but for whatever reason, your body is not going into labor on its own. Go home, get ready whatever you need to, and be up at the maternity ward in an hour,” she instructed, and then smiled at Andrea when she saw the anxious look in her eyes. “By tonight, you’re going to be a mommy.”

          As Nick and Andrea walked out of the clinic hand in hand, thoughts of parenthood raced through each of their minds. Both had gotten a taste of it in the past two and half weeks with baby Dre, but now it was really happening to them. The car ride was filled with frantic conversation and list making, and phone calls to family members and friends. Today was the big day.

          Fourteen hours later Andrea was lying on the bed in her birthing suite surrounded by Nick, Annie, AJ, her mom, her dad, and two nurses.

          “Dr. Fletcher will be right in, and he will explain more. Just try and relax until he gets here,” one of the nurses said. It was almost 1:00 in the morning and Andrea had been stuck at four centimeters for the past seven hours, regardless of how high they upped the pitocin, or how strong and long her contractions were. The baby was also starting to not tolerate the labor too well and Andrea was exhausted.

          “Andrea, we don’t really have any other choice but to perform a C-section. The baby’s heart rate drops a little with each contraction and in my professional opinion I don’t see you dilating any further, no matter how long we keep the contractions coming,” explained Dr. Fletcher as she came into the room. “I know this is very disappointing to you, but in the interest of you and the baby, it’s best.”

          Andrea cried as the nurses stopped the pitocin and prepared her for surgery. She cried as they wheeled her down the hall and into the operating room. She cried as they stuck a needle in her spine for her epidural. But the most important tears she cried in those early morning hours were the tears of happiness that feel out of the corners of her eyes as she heard her baby cry and Dr. Fletcher say “it’s a girl”.

          Alexia Anne Carter was born at 2:02 am and weighed in at 8lbs, 8 ounces, and was 20 inches long. She was a perfect, healthy baby, despite what her mom had gone through during her pregnancy and as Andrea held her in her arms a few hours later, she thanked God for just that. She was not sure what else lay ahead of her, but at that very moment, she was home.

Epilogue

Epilogue

          As a loud crack of thunder echoed through the house that hot August night, the baby started to cry from the other room. A newly slender Annie and a very pregnant Andrea were sitting in the living room of Nick’s beach house in Florida, watching TV, or rather trying to watch TV between the intermittent disruptions of power from the storm blowing outside.

          “I’ll get him,” huffed Andrea as she hoisted herself off the couch and onto to her feet.

          “You can barely walk and you’re not even going to be able to bend over the crib and pick him up,” protested Annie as she made a motion to get up only to realize that she was still “attached” to the breast pump she was using to express milk for the baby.

          “Annie, it’s okay. He’s in the bassinet instead of the crib anyway because I couldn’t bend over the top of the crib to lay him down in it when I put him to bed,” Andrea responded laughing as she rubbed her enormously swollen, past-due belly. “And besides, you’re busy collecting important nutrients for my God-child.” She gave Annie a silly grin as the baby screeched again.

          Andrea shuffled into the downstairs bedroom where baby Dre had been sleeping peacefully until the thunder woke him up. She picked up the two and a half week old infant and rocked him gently, her round belly making the perfect shelf to rest him on as she did so. She hummed to him softly and within a minute he had drifted back to sleep. As she waddled back out into the living room after laying Dre back in his bassinet, she noticed Annie was done pumping and was looking at her watch anxiously.

          “What’s wrong sweetie?” Andrea asked her cousin already knowing the answer. “You know how long it takes them to make a food run, they always get sidetracked by something,” she continued, not waiting for Annie to answer her.

          “Yeah, I know, but don’t you remember what happened the last time a food run took this long?”

          Andrea remembered all too well; that was the night that Annie went into labor a week early. Nick and Alex had gone on the usual late night food run, that night it was to Mr. Chow’s because the girls had wanted Asian food and neither Nick nor AJ had remembered to grab a cell phone before they walked out the door. Ten minutes after the boys had left, Annie’s water broke while she was standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of milk. With no way to contact her husband or Nick, and with neither of the girls able to fit behind the steering wheel, Annie had to figure out an alternate way to the hospital.

          While Nick and AJ were sitting in Mr. Chow’s waiting for their order, completely unaware of what was happening at home, a group of girls had noticed them and by the time Nick and AJ were ready to leave twenty minutes later, Nick’s car was surrounded by fans. It had taken almost an hour for the restaurant to get security on the scene and clear the girls away. As they rushed though the door to Nick’s house expecting to find two cranky, hungry pregnant women, they found a note on the table instead. Nick and AJ ran through the door to Annie’s birthing suite as she was starting to push, and forty-three minutes later, Andrew Nickolas McLean, or Dre for short, was welcomed into the world.

          “I’m sure they will be right back,” Andrea responded with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. “At least this time they have their cell phones with them.”

          The girls sat and waited for another thirty minutes, Annie watching Andrea like a hawk, until Nick and Alex walked through the door.

          “Sorry ladies, a tree fell across the road on Jackson and we were detoured all the way out to Morgan and had to take Phillips home. Is everyone doing okay?” said Nick in one breath as he walked over to his wife and placed his hand on her belly.

          “Yeah, everyone is doing fine,” Andrea replied as she leaned her head back and Nick bent down to kiss her. “I don’t think this baby is even close to wanting out.”

          “I don’t blame him or her, I like being inside you too,” said Nick with a sexy smile.

          “Dirrtty,” Annie said as she pretended to gag, which caused Andrea to laugh even harder. Once calmness had once again regained control of the room, they all sat down to eat.

          During the middle of the night, Andrea was sick to her stomach and had emptied the contents of it a few times. I guess the Mexican food didn’t agree with me, she thought to herself and she rinsed her mouth out and walked back into the bedroom.

          “Are you okay baby?” Nick asked he sat up in bed.

          “Food just didn’t settle right, I’m okay,” she told him as she lay down on the bed and allowed him to hold her. He massaged her back and tried to make her as comfortable as a pregnant lady who’s overdue by a week and a half can be. Andrea lay in bed until morning, unable to find a comfy position and sleeping very little. She had a doctor’s appointment at 9:00 and hoped everything was going to be okay.

          “Andrea, we are going to induce labor,” her doctor told her the next morning. “You are almost two weeks past your due date, the baby is ready to come out, but for whatever reason, your body is not going into labor on its own. Go home, get ready whatever you need to, and be up at the maternity ward in an hour,” she instructed, and then smiled at Andrea when she saw the anxious look in her eyes. “By tonight, you’re going to be a mommy.”

          As Nick and Andrea walked out of the clinic hand in hand, thoughts of parenthood raced through each of their minds. Both had gotten a taste of it in the past two and half weeks with baby Dre, but now it was really happening to them. The car ride was filled with frantic conversation and list making, and phone calls to family members and friends. Today was the big day.

          Fourteen hours later Andrea was lying on the bed in her birthing suite surrounded by Nick, Annie, AJ, her mom, her dad, and two nurses.

          “Dr. Fletcher will be right in, and he will explain more. Just try and relax until he gets here,” one of the nurses said. It was almost 1:00 in the morning and Andrea had been stuck at four centimeters for the past seven hours, regardless of how high they upped the pitocin, or how strong and long her contractions were. The baby was also starting to not tolerate the labor too well and Andrea was exhausted.

          “Andrea, we don’t really have any other choice but to perform a C-section. The baby’s heart rate drops a little with each contraction and in my professional opinion I don’t see you dilating any further, no matter how long we keep the contractions coming,” explained Dr. Fletcher as she came into the room. “I know this is very disappointing to you, but in the interest of you and the baby, it’s best.”

          Andrea cried as the nurses stopped the pitocin and prepared her for surgery. She cried as they wheeled her down the hall and into the operating room. She cried as they stuck a needle in her spine for her epidural. But the most important tears she cried in those early morning hours were the tears of happiness that feel out of the corners of her eyes as she heard her baby cry and Dr. Fletcher say “it’s a girl”.

          Alexia Anne Carter was born at 2:02 am and weighed in at 8lbs, 8 ounces, and was 20 inches long. She was a perfect, healthy baby, despite what her mom had gone through during her pregnancy and as Andrea held her in her arms a few hours later, she thanked God for just that. She was not sure what else lay ahead of her, but at that very moment, she was home.