CHAPTER 1

“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!”

“Howie calm down. We need the publicity,” reasoned Nick.

“Nick, fuck off you only like the idea cause you know you’ll be able to get some ass.”

“Well, yeah. Wait they’ll be over 18 right? So they’ll be legal?”

“Yes Nick,” replied Shauna their publicist. “They’ll all be in college or older.” Before the conversation could go any further Brian walked into the meeting.

“Sorry guys. Baylee’s not feeling well and Leigh just got back.”

“Hey Brian guess what!” Nick began, completely ignoring Brian’s explanation, “I’m gonna get me some serious ass!”

“I thought this meeting was about news,” Brian joked.

“It is. Nick get your mind out of the gutter and focus,” said Shauna. “Even though you’re doing the Up Close and Personal shows it might not be enough. I mean 5 years between albums is a long time, and during that time you were all completely off the map.”

AJ was quick to comment on that with, “except for Nicky’s time in Paris. We can’t forget about that!”

“Fuck off AJ,” said Nick. He was tired of everyone riding his ass about that. The media, fans, the guys. She sucked. He laughed to himself. Hehe that sounded bad. Well, she did do that too.

“Could you guys shut up for 5 minutes so I can tell you how we’re getting publicity?”

“Aw you know you love us.” All Shauna could do was shake her head.

“Anyway, there is a huge cheerleading competition in New York on March 12-13. There’s like over 1,000 teams attending. There are 22 in the Open All-Girl Elite division, which is all girl teams that are in the elite level. They’re actually really fun to watch, and whoever wins will get $5,000 from you guys. It sounds stupid, but since the majority of your fans are girls, what better sport to sponsor than cheerleading?”



“Haley, chill out!”

“Danielle, shut up! My hair’s not done, I haven’t done my make-up, and in like 2 hours I’m gonna be competing to get money from the fucking Backstreet Boys!”

“Forget about the Backstreet Boys. You’re 24 years old! And how old are they any way like 80?”

“Nick’s 25! And I don’t care what you think I still love them. And they’re really hot. I, oh fuck it get the curling iron so I can do my hair!” 25 minutes later her blond hair was slightly wavy and tied back, just perfect for competition. Next was her make-up. There were about 20 girls crammed into the tiny bathroom, all crowding around the smudged mirrors putting their make-up on and fixing their hair. She hated putting make-up on. They had to wear so much so it would so up when they performed that up close they looked like whores. And it took forever to put on. After her make-up was finished she found her team stretching outside the warm-up area.

“Next up in the Open All-Girl Elite division, the Southington Cyclone All-Stars!!!” The entire team came running onto the floor filled with energy while all their fans shouted for SCA. They knew if they hit the routine like they had yesterday they could win it, but they still had some tough competition. They were in second by .4 points to their archrivals the Jersey Spirit all-Stars. But yesterday was only half their score. Today they earned the other half. The music began and the entire team landed their opening tumbling (which lately had been a rare occurrence). Everyone sailed through the routine easily hitting their tumbling passes and effortlessly hitting the stunts. They had finally hit the routine. In their ending pyramid Haley almost fell, but it was barely noticeable and was the only mistake in the routine.

When it came time to announce the awards for the their division, the Cyclones joined the 21 other teams in their division on the floor. They announced the 5th place winner as the New Jersey Jags. The girls knew they had beaten them and they all held hands and shut their eyes hoping to hear their name next and at the same time praying they wouldn’t hear it quite yet. They had come to win. 4th place was the Connecticut Cats. They had a clean, but boring routine, and now the girls knew they had made the top three. 3rd was the Toronto Twisters. The announcer paused for a long time before calling 2nd place. It was the Spirit All-stars. SCA all assumed they had won first place, but there was always the glimmer of doubt. “1st place goes to… THE SOUTHINGTON CYCLONES!!!!”

As confetti fell on the floor the team rushed to get their trophy and picture taken. Some team members were screaming and others were speechless. Some were crying tears of joy and others were in a pile hugging each other. After they calmed down they were told that 5 team members should be selected to meet the Backstreet Boys later that evening. That’s when they would also receive information regarding publicity and how the money needed to be spent.

“Haley, walk back to the hotel with me, Jen, and Melissa okay? We’re leaving to see your boys in an hour. Try not to pass out when you meet them okay?”

“Shut up D. Who else is going that’s only 4 people.”

“Jess.”

“O, that sucks.”

“Oh, she’s not that bad. Just a little whorey.”

“Yeah that’s true.”

Back at the hotel:

In all the excitement of winning Haley lost track of time and Melissa was pounding on her door to get her to leave. “Oh shit I lost track of time! Just let me change. I won’t take my make-up off or anything.” She quickly yanked off her uniform top and threw on a white tank top with jewels at the top and a pair of jeans.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go Stace.”

“You’re freakin’ out aren’t you?”

“You have no idea.”


Nick Narrating:

Damn they must be here. I heard commotion outside that could only come from 5 girls excited about winning all this shit. This whole thing was a stupid idea. It was 10:00 at night and I’ve been up since like 5 am. Do they really expect me to be working? Well, yeah I guess they did, but I really didn’t want too.

The 5 girls walked in. Fuck that one girl is hot. Well they’re all hot, but she is especially hot. She has a lot of make-up on, but she is like super hot. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea. They walked towards where we were sitting and the tall brunette opened her mouth first. She had really think curly hair and what seemed to be a really outgoing personality.

“Hi, I’m Danielle Thompson.” She stuck out her hand for us to shake and we all did.

Next to speak was a short fuller girl with jet-black hair. She seemed a little whorey though. Wow was she already flirting with AJ?

“Hi, I’m Jessica Davis,” and looking right at AJ she continued, “but you can call me Jess.” Wow, can you say whore? I think I noticed the hot one roll her eyes a little at ‘Jess’s’ comment. And then the really tall one spoke up.

“I’m Melissa Walker.” She is really tall. Practically as tall as I am. She’s pretty though. She had dirty blond hair with bangs that went to the side and bright blue eyes.

Then the other brunette spoke up. “Hey. I’m Jen.” Jesus did the hot one have a voice?

“Jen do you have a last name?” Danielle muttered at Jen. Danielle seemed like a smart ass, but in a funny way. Unless she was making fun of you.

“It’s Jacobs.” Then she muttered to Danielle. “And Danielle try not to be a bitch, I know it’s hard for you.” Damn I’ll show you something that’s hard. The hot one was laughing now. Yeah she had to stop that or I was gonna embarrass myself. Yeah that would suck. Wish she’d suck. That tank top was fuckin’ sexy. No stop it Carter, so not the time.

“And I’m Haley Evans. These two are always fighting by the way.” Oh fuck me. Please. She had the best hair. Barely wavy and so blond. It fell just past her shoulders right around where the tank top neck started to plunge. And she had great eyes. They were a really dark green. Fuck she was hot. Okay Carter respond, smirk and look hot.

“Hi Haley. I’m Nick.” Yeah wow that smirk came off really good. Yeah she wants me. I hope. I want her. I could just take that tank top off right here and…Jesus Carter get a hold of yourself. Why is she having this effect on you? You’re gonna need to fuck a groupie just to get through the night.

I didn’t even hear the rest of the meeting. I was too busy staring at Haley. All I knew was I had to see her again. I debated with myself over whether or not to ask her up to my room. But considering I couldn’t remember her last name I decided against it. I noticed the meeting ending and stood up with the rest of the guys to say goodbye to the girls.

“Wait, will I uh, see you again?” The question was directed at Haley, but Danielle answered.

“Well, me and Haley are gonna come get the check tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay. See you then.” Thank God. With a quick wave I just walked off. I couldn’t stand there anymore. What was she doing to me? She kept like looking at me and shit. I had to get to my hotel room and fast. It was only on the third floor. I could take the stairs.

As I was running up the stairs I ran into someone. Great timing too. “Oh my God! I’m sorry. Oh hi, Nick.” Of all the people to bump into, it was Haley!

Haley Narrating:

Damn, he was really hot. Much hotter in person.

“Hi, Haley. You okay?”

“Yeah fine, you?”

Nick Narrating:

“Fine. So, uh,” okay this was awkward, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah. We’re coming at like 3 or 4.”

“K. Nice meeting you.” Okay smile and just keep walking. Fuck she had to stop looking at me. I mean who looked at the person they were talking to anyway? Well everyone I guess, but still. I mean no one is that hot. And I mean no one.

“Nice to meet you too.”


Haley Narrating:

“Haley, what the fuck was that?”

“What now Danielle? And where is everyone else?” I asked in hopes of changing the subject.

“Don’t fucking change the subject Haley. Jess left her purse and they went to get it. You didn’t even notice. Although I think Jess just wanted to flirt with AJ more. I can’t be sure.”

“I’m just tired.” Yeah I wasn’t gonna get away with that was I?

“Bullshit.” Damn. “You like that blond one.”

“No I don’t and his name’s Nick.”

“Whatever. Just be careful okay? He’s a whore.”

“I know.” Danielle was surprised Haley didn’t argue. She usually defended them whenever Danielle would say something like that. Then again Nick being a whore was pretty hard to argue. He was the one who went out with Paris Hilton. Right? Then again, who hasn’t?

Nick Narrating:

Finally my hotel room. I think. Well, did my key work? No, damn. Oh that’s cause you have the wrong fucking room Carter. Okay here we go. This is definitely my room. Yeah cause that hot chick next door just left to get ice. Yeah I remember her. That was a good night. She wasn’t as hot as Haley though. Okay now I really have to go in the room. Shit, why isn’t my key working? Okay, that Haley chick must have really fucked me up. I just put my fucking key in upside down. All right there we go. Wow, did I just have to walk myself through how to get into my hotel room? That’s fucking pathetic.

Before I could even take my shoes off my cell phone rang. “Oh fuck.” It was AJ. That meant taking his bullshit. “What now AJ?”

“Little cranky Nicky? Are we interrupting something?”

“Yes, actually you are.”

“Oooh. Nicky have a groupie again tonight?”

“No.” Oh smart Carter. Now they’ll all know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t lie and say there was a groupie there. That would be too easy.

“Ah, very rock star Nick. But where the hell are you? We were all supposed to meet in Howie’s room 15 minutes ago.”

“We were?”

“Yeah we said that after the meeting with the girls, but you ran out so fast after staring at the blond chick all night you obviously forgot. Guess you had to take care of some things Nicky?” That fuck head was enjoying this way too much.

“I’m leaving now fuck head. And her name’s Haley. And you enjoy making my life a living hell way too much.”

“I live for it. Bye.”

Fucker. I’d never live this down. Ever. I walked by the shower on my way out and contemplated making the guys wait more, but decided Kevin would get pissed. And if I wanted to find a groupie for the night I was going to have to speed this up.

End Narration

“Ah, he tore himself away from himself long enough to join us.”

“Fuck off Brian. Now what’s this meeting about? Let’s get it over with.”

“It’s about the girls. The four of us were talking before you got here and we want them to do some promotion for us the day the album comes out. What do you think?”

“Would we be seeing a lot of them?”

“If you hang around with them, yeah. But you don’t have to. Just be nice when you are around them.”

“Yeah, they can do promotion. That’s probably a good idea. We should just tell Jess or whatever her name is that she can’t flirt with everyone she meets.”

“Yeah, that might be good,” said Kevin laughing. “And Danielle to let the others talk once in a while.”

Howie spoke up next, “And the blond one not to be such a whore.”

“What?” Nick practically yelled. “She’s not a whore!”

“Sorry Nick,” AJ began, “but did you see how much make-up she had on?”

“It wasn’t that much AJ. And Howie don’t say shit about her just because you’re jealous because she got to be a cheerleader and you had to be a Backstreet Boy.” He couldn’t let that one go. He’d been waiting for a time to use it for weeks.

“Sorry Nick,” Brian said a little confused. He had just been calling Jessica a whore. What was so different about Haley? She was prettier, but why would that make a diff…Oh shit Nick liked Haley. That was why he wanted to know if they’d see each other again and why he got so mad when they called her a whore. It was the only explanation. And that’s also why he agreed to the cheerleaders doing promotion for them. Normally he thought stuff like that was pointless. But he’d only known her for like two hours. Maybe he just wanted to bang her. But then he wouldn’t be so mad when Howie and AJ called her a whore.

“Well guys, I gotta go. See ya tomorrow.” Said Nick getting up and hoping they would let him leave.

“Okay Nick. Remember we’re meeting the girls again tomorrow and we need to be in the meeting room at 2:30,” said Kevin.

“I know. I don’t forget everything. Bye,” and with that he left the room and started towards his. He didn’t even want a groupie anymore. The guys had really pissed him off and he didn’t know why. They called Jess a whore too. Hell HE had called Jess a whore. Why did he get so mad when they called Haley a whore? She did have a lot of make-up on.

Meanwhile:

“Guys, I think Nick likes Haley.” Brian blurted out.

“But they’ve only known each other for like two hours and I think they said a total of about four sentences to each other anyway.” argued Howie.

“I’m telling you he likes her. That’s why he asked at the end of the meeting if he’d see them again. It was directed right at Haley, but none of us thought anything of it. We just figured he thought she was hot. And I’m sure he did, but still. And that’s why he liked the idea of the girls doing promotion for us. He knew it would give him a chance to see her almost everyday.”

“You may be right. But right now I say we don’t worry about it. We’ll see where it goes.” answered Kevin. And that was that. Everyone forgot. Except Brian. He knew it was unusual for Nick to act this way. But he couldn’t get the guys to listen.

“Guys I’m gonna go back to my room. It’s getting late.”

“Okay, Bri. See ya in the morning.” Brian left the room, but instead of going to his room he went towards Nick’s. He noticed the door was open, but he knocked anyways knowing what Nick had been doing before he had come to Howie’s room. He didn’t need to walk in on that. “Who is it?”

“Brian.”

“Come in.” Brian walked in to see his friend flipping through channels and laying on the bed.

“Nick can I talk to you?”

“About what?”

“Haley.”

“What about her?”

“Do you like her?”

“Yeah she’s nice. Why?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Fine. She’s hot yeah. Do I wanna fuck her? Hell yeah. Anything else?”

“Do you like her?”

“I already answered that question Brian.”

“You know what I mean!”

“How could I? I’ve only known her for like three hours.” But even as he said it he couldn’t quite meet Brian’s eyes. He didn’t know if he liked her. Well, he knew he did but didn’t know how that was possible.

“Okay Nick. See you in the morning.”

“FUCK!!!!!” he yelled into his pillow after Brian had left. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he so obsessed about Haley? It scared the shit out of him. How could she have this effect on him already? He had known her for less than three hours. If she affected him this much already, what was going to happen in a week

CHAPTER 2

Haley Narrating
Ring. Ring.
Fuck. That was the phone. What time was it anyway? Oh, noon. I guess they were allowed to call then. Damn I had slept for like 9 hours. “Hello?”
“Hey Haley. You just wake up?”
“Hey Melissa. And no I’ve been up for like an hour.”
“No you haven’t.” Why do I even try lying to my friends? “Get up and get dressed. We’re going to lunch in an hour.”
“Where?”
“Burger King.”
“Classy. Where are we meeting?”
“I don’t know. I’ll come get you.”
“K. Bye.”
“Get up Haley!!!”
“Ugh, leave me alone!”
“Goodbye Haley.” I didn’t even bother saying goodbye. I just slammed my phone down and threw back the covers. Damn it was cold in here. And all I was wearing was a skimpy blue tank top and black shorts. It had been hot last night. What happened? I went to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I hadn’t even had time to change when there was a knock on the door.
Assuming it was Melissa changing the time or something I made my way to the door. “Coming,” I yelled. As I opened it I was surprised to see Nick standing there. “Hi.” I said still rather surprised.
“Haley?!” He practically yelled.
“Nick?!” I mimicked him.
“Oh, I uh thought this was Howie’s girlfriend’s room. She’s staying at this hotel. She didn’t like the one we were staying at. She hated the owner or something. I’m really sorry to bother you. Bye.”
He looked so horrified. It was adorable. “Bye.”
Nick Narrating
Oh my God she was only wearing a tiny tank top. And it showed her stomach. A couple inches. Fuck. I definitely didn’t imagine her being hot last night. And I hadn’t exaggerated in my mind either. In fact she was even hotter than I remembered. And I remembered her as being really fucking hot. And she had just made fun of me. Smooth Carter. I had thought that room was Howie’s girlfriend’s room. I whipped out my phone to call the guys and ask for her room number again. Obviously I had remembered wrong. And of all the people…
Oh good. Brian answered. I didn’t have the other guys’ numbers memorized. I used to have them on speed dial but my battery died and I lost all the numbers. Well that had happened about a month ago. I was just too lazy to get the numbers again. “Hey Brian.”
“Did you find Howie?”
“No.”
“He wasn’t in her room?”
“I don’t know her room number.”
“I told you it was 1015.”
“Oh I thought you said 1510. That’s why I got the wrong room.”

”Who’s room did you get?”
“Haley’s. She had just woken up. She was still in her pajamas.” Shit. Why did I add that last part? What an ass. I really should start thinking before I open my mouth
“I’m sure you enjoyed that.”

“Bye Brian thanks for the room number.” I hung up. I didn’t need anyone’s shit about Haley right now. I turned around and headed to the elevator. I stopped when I heard an argument coming from Haley’s room. She must have left the door propped open after I left.
“Well damn Jeff.” Fuck. Boyfriend. “I can’t just drop everything and leave because you’re bored. Besides, you live in Chicago!” Okay I have some time. “I live in Massachusetts.” How does that work out? “And I’m not even home now.”
After a response on the other end she replied, “I don’t know. They were talking about us doing promo for them and everything. Oooh! How’s Kelly is she better?” Who the fuck was Kelly? Sister, niece, cousin, daughter? Oh, I hope not. That would suck.
All of a sudden I noticed how obvious it was that I was eaves dropping. And before I could do anything about it Melissa’s voice helped me come back to reality.
Melissa Narrating
“What the hell are you doing?” And how did he know what Haley’s room number was? I know Haley went home alone last night. Otherwise I woulda wondered.
“Well I thought this was Howie’s girlfriend’s room and we were looking for him and I came here, but I had the wrong room cause I thought the room was 1510 but it was 1015. And I didn’t know it was Haley’s room, and well that’s why I’m here.”
Jesus he is rambling. Well, that answered one question. “So why are you leaning against the door?” What kind of freak was he?
“I, well, I heard her kinda yelling and I just wondered what she was saying. And I didn’t really mean to. So uh, yeah.”
He really didn’t know what to say did he? He looked pathetic. I thought he was supposed to be the confident one who got all the girls. Shouldn’t he be flirting with me to get out of this situation? That would make more sense. “Okay. Well me and Haley are going to lunch so I’m gonna go get her, but before I do is there anything I can help you with? You think you can find your way to the elevators on your own?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He walked towards the elevators but then turned around quickly. “Melissa?”
“Yeah?”
“If you don’t mind my asking, who are Jeff and Kelly?”
Should I tell him? I don’t think Haley would mind. “Jeff’s her brother and Kelly is Jeff’s daughter.” Did he look relieved? Why is that? Did he wonder if Jeff was her boyfriend? Cause that was definitely relief on his face.
“Tell her I said hi.”
“Sure.”
End Narration
“Haley, I think Nick likes you.”
“Stace, what are you talking about?”
“Well, Nick was looking for Howie,”
“Yeah, and he came here. How did you know?”
“Well he was outside your door listening to you argue I guess with Jeff because when I came I asked what he was doing and he told me. He asked who Jeff and Kelly were, so I told him. I don’t think he even cared about Kelly once he heard Jeff was your brother.”
“That could mean anything Melissa.”
“I know but you didn’t hear him ask. And he was rambling and he looked so worried when he asked and everything. I really think he likes you Haley.”
“He probably just wants a simple fuck.”

“Maybe. Come on let’s go.” The two friends walked to the elevator and stepped on.

“Nick, what are you doing here?” asked Melissa.

“Well, okay this sounds stupid, but I forgot to hit the button for the floor so I’m still here. I think I’ve ridden the elevator through the hotel twice now.” Haley tried her best not to laugh. At least he knew it was stupid.

Nick Narrating
Oh fuck. Haley was wearing a maroon short-sleeved shirt that was gathered at the chest and showed about an inch of stomach whenever she reached up. And she just reached up to pull her hair into a messy bun. Shit did I just suck in a breath? She must have heard that. And tight denim shorts. Was she trying to kill me? I was going to have to thank Mother Nature for making it so hot outside.
“Did you ever find Howie?”
“Huh? Oh, uh he showed up back at our hotel a few minutes ago.” Jesus Carter. Pull yourself together. “I’m gonna head back.” Fuck. My hand’s gonna be mighty busy if I don’t get with Haley soon. The elevators dinged at the lobby and we all stepped off. No fans here. That was good or in an hour I’d be part of a sick threesome. I hate all that bullshit. I’m not into that. Well maybe the girl on girl part. I mean damn if Haley wanted another girl there, why deny her the pleasure? I could just picture it… Oh fuck. Should not be picturing those things in public Carter. I am really glad the hotel is only a block away.
End Narration
After killing a couple hours in his hotel room it was time to go down to meet the girls. He was still a little flustered from the elevator, but he had no choice but to go downstairs if he wanted to see Haley again. He made his way down to the meeting room to find that the rest of the guys were already there.
“Hey.” began AJ “The girls should be here soon. We think they should start the promotion in about two months after the cheer season winds down. What about you?”
“So do we give them the money and say see ya in two months or what?”
“Basically.”
Nick Narration
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That would be awful! I wouldn’t see Haley for two months! My hand was gonna get tired. Even with groupies at night I had to get through the day. What was I gonna do?
“Although, we should probably see one of their competitions before they do anything for us. Then we’ll understand what they do. We’ll have to ask them when their next competition is.”
Before I could respond Danielle and Haley came in. “Hey guys.” I looked right at Haley. I am so fucking obvious sometimes. She still had the clothes she wore to lunch on and her hair was still up. It looked good up. It’d look better fanned out on my pillow though as she screamed my name. FUCK! I had to stop with that. After the other guys greeted her and I finally got a hold of myself, everyone sat down around the large table. I ended up across from Haley. At least there would be some chances for across the table flirting.
Everything was fine until Kevin had to go get something. I don’t know what though. I was too busy thinking about Haley. Then Haley decided to take her hair down. She leaned back, reached up and pulled out the elastic. She shook it out around her shoulders, and that’s when I lost it. I was fucked. I kept thinking how she would feel pushed up against me and shit like that. By now I was way too worked up to be in public.
Then Kevin came back. Normally Kevin helps with these issues cause well you know it’s not like I want Kevin, but then he asked, “Oh, we meant to ask you when your next competition was.” I had forgotten she was a cheerleader for a minute. That little uniform. Fuck. Why did I want her this bad?
Haley answered, “We have one this weekend on Sunday. That’s the 20th. It’s in New York City.” We were in New York then too. We could go. And she’d be in her uniform. This was going to be interesting.
“We were thinking and we think we should go so we could understand what cheerleading really is. Since we need to go to another meeting now,” we do? “can you come over tomorrow night and work out the details with us. Like when you compete and everything?”
“Well we have practice tomorrow from 6-8, so”
“We do?” Okay so Danielle was like me, never knowing when they had to be where.
“Danielle I just told you that like half an hour ago.”
“I forgot. That’s why you were the valedictorian in high school and not me.” Valedictorian? Are you shitting me? She must be a genius! A really hot genius. Weren’t smart people supposed to be ugly? I guess there were exceptions.
“I wasn’t supposed to be valedictorian Danielle. Dan just failed his last project.”
“Yeah well you didn’t so you’re smarter.”
“Whatever.” Turning back to Kevin she continued, “We rented mats at a cheer gym about an hour away so we’ll be gone for about three or four hours, but I coach the middle school aged kids so I’ll be gone from like 2:30 to 9.” Whoa she coached too? That was hot. Then again she could have said I like purple reindeer and I would have thought it was hot. Hell, I probably would have dressed up like a purple reindeer if it would have gotten her to notice me.
“What other days do you practice?”
“Thursday. 6 to 8:30 then though.”
“Okay. Well we can be free Wednesday night around eight. How’s that?”
“Great. See you then.”

CHAPTER 3

Haley Narrating

“Haley did you see that?” Danielle asked her after they left.

“What?”

“How Nick kept looking at you during the meeting? I think he likes you.”

“Don’t be stupid Danielle.”

“I’m not. I’m telling the truth.”

“He wasn’t looking at me and he doesn’t like me.” Does he? No that was stupid. He would never like me.

“Fine Haley. You obviously don’t wanna hear what I’m saying anyway.”


Nick Narrating

“Shannon, when you do your heel stretch you have to pull up more. Then you’ll be able to twist sooner.” Damn. She was even hot coaching. She must be really into it. She didn’t even know I was there. Then again I never told her I was coming or anything. I hope she wasn’t mad. No one would recognize me. I had a hat on and everything. I was just bored so I came to see her coach. The practice was almost over and soon hers would be starting. That I wanted to see. She was only in a t-shirt and shorts but she was still unbelievably sexy. “Okay. Go get water.”

She walked onto the mat and started throwing random tumbling. It was awesome. She just threw herself over and didn’t even use her hands. And she got like eight feet off the ground. I heard someone say something to her, but I was too far away to hear what it was. Next thing I knew she threw herself over again, but this time her legs were straighter and she twisted sideways and shit. But she landed on her hands and knees. Oh, she was not happy. “I haven’t landed that once in the last two weeks! I want it in the routine. We’ll get killed at this next competition without standing fulls.”

Then she walked to the far corner of the mat and ran about three steps. Then she started flipping. I don’t even know what she did because she did it so fast. But she landed the twisting thingy that time. “I didn’t throw my double. I barely landed that in competition.”
Her double? Are you fucking kidding me? She does that twisting thing twice before she lands? And she doesn’t die? Damn. Then she went back to the far corner and did the tumbling pass again only this time at the end she twisted twice. Damn.

Then the younger kids came back on the mat. “Okay, get in the opening formation. We have time to do this like one more time before you leave. So don’t fall. And do the dance right this time. Come on, you guys compete this weekend.” Someone started some music and a bunch of the kids did flips and there were three tosses in the back that twisted twice around. The routine was pretty good. They fell a few times, but they were probably tired. “Okay girls, not bad. I’ll see you next practice.”

Everyone left the mat and went to grab their things before they left. She headed towards a back room and I just sat on one of the chairs and waited for her practice to start. Once it did I was transfixed. She was the most flexible one on the team. She could put her leg around her head and straighten it and everything. That put some interesting thoughts in my head. And the girls holding her up were Danielle, Melissa, and Jen. Jess was just doing random flips. She pretty much sucked at everything else. About half an hour before the practice was over I left so she wouldn’t know I had been there. For some reason, I wanted to keep it a secret.

End Narration

By the time the girls got back to their hotel it was about 9:30. “Hey, you wanna come to my room and watch a movie or something?” Jen asked.

“Sure. Got nothing else to do.” replied Danielle. Once Melissa and Haley agreed they were all heading to Jen’s room to watch a movie. They chose an old movie they all had already seen and loved, and had a great time together. Jen had noticed Nick at their practice during one of their water breaks. That was why she had invited them to a movie. She didn’t want Haley alone thinking about anything like that. She thought Haley probably liked him, but knew it wouldn’t be smart to do anything about it. But from what Danielle had told her, she wondered if Nick liked Haley too.

Nick Narrating

I was lying on my bed in my hotel room when my cell phone rang. “Fuck,” I muttered. It was a number I didn’t recognize. “Hello?”

“Hi it’s Danielle.”

“Um hi.” Why was she calling me? And how did she have my number. Oh, someone probably gave it to her at the first meeting we had where I was too busy trying to keep my dick in my pants to hear anything.

I heard some odd noise in the background and someone yelling at Danielle to give her the phone. Finally someone else had it. “Hello?” Oh fuck me! It was Haley. There were four of them in there and Danielle had to use Haley’s phone? Well at least I had her number now.

“Hi. What’s up?” Oh that’s original Carter.
“Well I was trying to go on the computer to talk to my sister, but Danielle’s drunk dialing and won’t let anyone do anything.”

“How drunk is she?”

“Um, well I guess you could describe it as completely wasted.” I laughed. So did she. Damn. Then in the background I heard Danielle, “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”

Now Haley was dying laughing. I don’t know what Danielle was doing. I just hoped she would keep doing it so Haley would keep laughing. After a short conversation I heard her tell the girls she was going back to her room. Why didn’t she hang up? I didn’t want her to, but it didn’t make sense. I heard a door close and the background noise became quieter.

“Okay. That’s better.”

“Definitely.” I was nervous. I felt like I had never talked to a girl before. What a loser.

“So uh, what’s up?”

Me. “Not much.”

“You doing anything?”

I wish I were doing you. Does that count? “I’m on the computer.” I wasn’t but I couldn’t tell her I had been lying here trying to think of ways to get her in my bed. “Hey you said you were gonna go on the computer. What’s your screen name?” She hesitated. Damn. “Come on.”

“It’s cheergirl415.”

“Cool.” I added her to my buddy list. I didn’t have many people on it, but I dragged her name to the top of the list anyway.

“I gave you mine, now you have to give me yours.”

“I don’t know it.”

“What?”

Oh real smart Carter. Don’t look it up or anything. “Well, it’s got a bunch of numbers and everything and I can never remember it cause I always have to change it. I’ll just IM you.”

“Okay, well, we don’t really need to be on the phone and online do we?”

“No. Guess not.”

“I’ll hang up.”

“K. Bye.”

“Bye.”


Nick: hey its nick
Haley: hey
N: I got a question
H: what
N: what does the 415 stand for?
H: my birthday April 15th
N: cool

Remember that Carter

N: I have another question but you gotta promise to answer
H: no
N: you gotta. Its not that bad
H: maybe. What?
N: were you a Backstreet fan before you won?
H: yeah
Now’s your chance to seem confidant Carter.
N: did you think I was hot
Like she’s going to answer that.
H: yeah
Shit she said yes!!!

Haley Narrating

Shit I said yes.
H: why?
N: cause I thought you were hot when I saw you
Oh. I was going to have to play that up a little. Just for fun.
H: thought?
N: ur still hot
H: that’s better
N: did you have a good practice?
He remembered?
H: yeah
N: that’s good
N: can I ask u some stuff about u?
H: sure
N: how old r u
H: 23
N: k. what’s ur family like?
H: I have 1 sister named Alex who’s 27. she’s engaged. And a brother named Jeff who’s 30 and married with a 2 year old daughter
N: who’s he married to?
H: she’s a lawyer named Kendra
N: how long have you been cheering?
H: since I was 9, so 14 years
N: wow
H: I didn’t start all-stars until I was 15 though
N: still that’s a long time
N: you practiced like that and you were valedictorian?
H: yea
H: I wasn’t supposed to be valedictorian though
I hated talking about being valedictorian. It made me feel like a freak.
N: how long have you known Jess, Danielle, Melissa, and Jen?
H: I met Jess 3 years ago but I’ve been cheering with Danielle, Melissa, and Jen since I was 12
N: are they your age?
H: Danielle, Jen, and Melissa are a year older, and Jess is two years younger than me
N: ok
H: and if u think she’ll grow out of being a whore she won’t. She was born that way.
N: ok good to know
N: where did u go to college?
H: I went to Penn State for business
N: cool
N: do u have a boyfriend?
H: not anymore
Holy shit it’s 2:00 AM
H: it’s 2
H: I should probably go to bed
N: K see you tomorrow
H: Bye

Nick Narrating

Damn. At least she thought I was hot. Then you told her you thought she was hot too. That might not have been smart. Is anything I ever do smart?



Haley Narrating

I woke up and when I looked at the clock it said 9:15 am. I never woke up this early. But I wasn’t at all tired so I got up anyway. I called Jen cause she always woke up at the ass crack of dawn. Maybe there would be something we could do together.

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s Haley.”

“You’re up?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Wanna do something?”

“Sure. Shopping?”

“Where?”

“There’s a mall like ten minutes away. I even know how to get there.”

“Sounds good. I’ll meet you in the lobby at 10?”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Bye.” I got off the bed and went to the hotel phone to order room service. I ordered a bagel since I wasn’t really hungry. Then I went to the bathroom to get ready. I brushed my teeth and showered. Then I threw on a pair of jeans since it was supposed to be colder today and a tank top. I pulled on a shirt over the tank top that buttoned at the top on and left it unbuttoned. A couple minutes later room service was here, and I quickly ate my breakfast since it was already 9:55. After I was done I made my way down to the lobby where Jen was already waiting for me.

“Haley. It’s about time. Come on. There’s a sale and if we get there before 11 we get 15% off all make-up from Macy’s.” Less than 10 minutes later we were there. Obviously we went to Macy’s first and started looking through the make-up. I chose some lip gloss and a purple eye shadow. A few hours later we headed to some clothes stores just for fun. I found a light pink shirt that had three white and blue butterflies on it and a new bathing suit. It was white bikini with a ton of bright flowers all over it. Jen found a bathing suit that was pink with blue and white stripes that looked really good on her. We had a lot of fun, but once 2:00 rolled around we were both really hungry.

“Let’s go to the food court. I think there’s a chicken place there.”

“Great. Let’s go.” After a little more shopping we decided to head back. It was about 6:00 by the time we got back to the hotel since I got us lost. Hey, I’m from a tiny town in Massachusetts. There’s only like 4 roads there. I’m not used to the city.

We met up with Melissa and Danielle to get dinner. We decided we would just go to Chili’s since it was only a few blocks away from the hotel. I didn’t feel like going since I just got back, but if I hadn’t gotten us lost we would have been here sooner. Life’s a bitch isn’t it.

Nick Narrating

I was bored. We had two hours before the meeting and I had nothing to do. Brian was busy with his family and everyone else just seemed to have something to do. While I was feeling sorry for myself I heard my phone ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey Nick. It’s Howie.” No shit. I’ve only been in your band for 12 years, but I can’t recognize your voice. Especially since we chose a profession where we never use our voices.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“We want to change the meeting with the girls to 7 because Kristin got an earlier flight and Kevin’s been uh, lonely. We’re gonna get the girls’ numbers from the forms or something.”

“Okay. No problem. But, uh I have Haley’s number.”

“How?”

“Danielle was using Haley’s phone last night. She was drunk dialing and called me. I stored it figuring we might need it.” Okay so I put it as number 3 on speed dial. I wasn’t obsessed or anything. 1 was my voicemail, which was pointless since I forgot my password and 2 was Brian.

“Great. Could you give her a call for us and ask if they can come at 7?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll assume the meeting’s at 7 if you don’t call.”

“K. Bye.”

“Bye Nick.”

I called Haley’s number. “Hello?”

“Hi. It’s Nick.

“Hi.”

“We were wondering if you could change the meeting to 7 instead of 8 because Kevin’s wife just got here, and he’s uh, been a little lonely.” She laughed. Fuck.

“Yeah, we’ll come at 7.”

“K. See you then.”

“Bye.” Shit that was an hour away. I practically ran to the shower. The shower took a little longer than expected because of um, some stuff. When I got out I put on a dark blue shirt with jeans and ran down to the meeting considering I was already 10 minutes late. Everyone else was already there. Oh well.

“Nice of you to join us Nick.” Kevin started.

“Let’s get on with this shall we?” Fuck Haley was hot today. Her hair was down. And she had really sexy jeans on. Fuck, was it hot in here, or was it just me? Okay considering the fact that Haley took off the shirt she had on over her tank top it was hot. Damn. She should not do that. Did she know what she was doing to me? She gave me a look. Yeah, she did know what she was doing to me. Well, two could play that game. I walked over and stood next to Haley.

Haley Narrating

That bastard just came over here. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken my shirt off. It was hot in here though. Now he was just fucking with me. He kept leaning over the table and shit. Fine. Then I “dropped” my pen and bent down to grab it. Yeah, that was fun. Then he gave up. Well besides the fuck me eyes and that cocky smirk. And the fucker had his hair spiky. This was going to be a long meeting. Then AJ’s voice snapped me back to reality.

“Okay, so what are the details on the competition?”

“Well, it’s in New York City. You can meet my brother Jeff, his wife Kendra, and my sister Alex, and probably her fiancé Matt at our hotel. They flew in for the competition. We don’t compete until 6:25, but you should get there around 5 so you can get tickets and everything. There’s eight different halls and I think like 900 teams, so it will be crowded. Jeff and Alex will show you around and everything. Just don’t get separated cause it’s a huge place. Oh, and don’t get recognized. If there’s 900 teams and there’s about 30 people on each team, plus spectators, if you get recognized, well you’re fucked.”

“Okay, so how about we meet your brother and sister around 4:30 in your hotel and then go to the competition?”

“That would work. But one more thing. The first five rows are priority seating, which is reserved for friends and family of the people competing. The people move in and out after each team, and it’s actually really organized at this competition. We’ve been there before. And you might wanna wear light blue, black, or white since those are our colors and that might make it easier to get into the priority seating, although you’d probably be able to anyway.”

“Okay, well, I guess that’s everything. We’ll see you ladies Sunday then,” said Kevin.

“Wait,” Howie started. “Nick, AJ, and I are going to go swimming later at like 9 at the hotel pool. You wanna join us?” I guess Howie’s the ladies man of the group. Or at least he tried to be. I think Nick and AJ had a little more um, experience there.

Danielle was the first one to answer. “Sure, I’ll come.”

“I will too.” I answered. Fuck! Nick was going to be there? In a pool? Damn. Probably should have thought of that before I answered.

Melissa and Jen decided to stay at the hotel instead. I didn’t know why, but when I got back to my hotel I looked around for Jess. When I finally found her I asked her to come swimming with us. Once she heard AJ was going to be there she agreed to come. Whore. I told her to meet us in the lobby at 8:30 so we could head over. I put my hair up into a ponytail and put on my new bathing suit. It looked really good. Then I threw on a t-shirt and shorts over it so I wasn’t walking around New York in a bathing suit. Jess could take care of that. At exactly 8:30 we left the hotel. When we got inside their hotel we followed the signs to the pool. Nick, AJ, and Howie were already there, but they got out of the pool to come see us. We were the only ones there. They probably had the pool closed for everyone but us. That might be dangerous with Nick in a pool and me right here. We just had to hope we were never left alone.

CHAPTER 4

Nick Narrating

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She was in a fucking bikini. A white one with flowers on it. She was fucking hot. I wasn’t going to be able to do this. Maybe I should just go back to the room. But how would that look? I couldn’t leave right after they showed up. But I couldn’t take it. Okay Carter. Just remember that water is not a good lube.

Everyone said hi and me, Howie, and AJ got back in the pool. Jess went and started rubbing sun block on her body. What the fuck? It was 9:00 at night. And an indoor pool. And Danielle and Haley started getting towels out and everything.

All of a sudden I heard someone yell “CANNONBALL!!!!” and felt a huge splash. I looked over to see Danielle in the pool and Haley on the side laughing. I guess it was pretty funny. Then Haley had jumped in the pool. Before I knew it I was in a swimming race with Danielle and Haley. Why the fuck was I racing? Oh yeah. Haley asked. I couldn’t say no to her. Then Danielle picked AJ to be the judge. Great. He’d make me look like an ass either way. We started and I was sucking it up from the beginning. Haley and Danielle were both twice as far as I was. So I just gave up and watched. Haley was losing, so she cut in front of Danielle at the very end to screw her up. Haley won, but Danielle was ready for a rematch. She finally convinced Haley to one and Danielle was in the lead. About half way down Haley climbed out of the pool and walked to the end. She jumped in and hit the side right before Danielle got there.

“What the fuck was that?”

“You never said we had to swim,” Haley pointed out with an innocent smile.

“That’s true,” I said.

“Aww, thank you Nick. See Danielle? Nick agrees with me!”

“Fine. I give up.” Danielle said.

“Good.” Haley replied. Then Haley turned away and Danielle dunked her head under water. When she came up all she could say was, “Bitch!” Then she dove on top of Danielle forcing her under water. Damn. They should not be doing that. It was getting me really worked up. Really, really worked up. I wanted her so bad. It should be illegal for her to be that sexy. It was making my hand sore. And I hadn’t really had a chance to find a groupie either. Oh, I was definitely gonna need one tonight.

We screwed around in the pool until 10:30 then we all got bored and sat on the side. I ended up right next to her. Fuck me, please. I was so worked up I had to keep my towel bunched up on my lap just so nobody would notice anything. All everyone was doing was talking. Then Danielle had the bright idea to play truth or dare. I couldn’t believe we agreed to it. We weren’t even drunk!

“Okay, since it was my idea I’ll start. Haley truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How many guys have you uh, been with?”

I figured she’d get embarrassed or something, but she just did a quick count in her head and replied, “Five.” At least I knew she wasn’t waiting for marriage. That would suck. “Okay. Nick, truth or dare?”

Oh fuck. “Uh, truth.” So not ready for a dare. Unless it was fuck Haley’s brains out, but I doubted that would be it.

“Okay, how many girls have you fucked, if you can count that high.” Oh, fuck. I don’t even know! What should I say? “Oh my God! You don’t know?!” At least she seemed amused. At least she knew I got around.

“You don’t know?” AJ asked. “That’s fucking pathetic. I figured you’d have a chart or something!”

“He used to have a chart from when he was like 17 remember? I bet he still has it under his bed.” Howie eagerly replied.

“Shut the fuck up!” After about ten more minutes of teasing we decided the game was over. Well I decided. We talked a little more, but the girls decided to leave around 11. As the girls packed their stuff Howie, AJ, and I started to leave, but I dropped my stuff. Then I guess Jess noticed AJ had left and went running out after him. Danielle followed muttering something about a fucking whore who would hump a stick if it were big enough. I had to stifle a laugh.

Then I noticed Haley was still packing her stuff. I picked mine up and walked up behind her. I put my lips next to her ear and whispered, “Good luck at competition Haley.”

Haley Narrating

Holy fuck. Does he know what he’s doing to me? Well, yeah most likely. That’s why he’s doing it. Bastard. We were alone too. When had everyone left? Then he ran his fingers down my arm and whispered, “I hope you don’t get hurt when you perform. Then wouldn’t be able to do all those tricks you like to do. You are the most flexible one on the team. You do all those tricks the best.” Mother fucking bastard. He was killing me. It was taking every ounce of self-control I had not to jump him right there. And he knew it. Fucker.

“I guess.” Time for revenge. I turned around to face him, walked in a little closer, and said, “I know you wouldn’t want that would you?

Nick Narrating

Oh fuck. That came back to bite me in the ass. “I, uh, y, y, yeah.” I stammered. What a fucking loser am I?

“See you Sunday Nick.”

Once I got back to my hotel room I headed straight for the bathroom. I needed a cold shower. And fast. After I showered I went into the bedroom and turned on the TV. Wait it was only 11:30. The bar was still open. I could find a groupie still. I headed down for the bar. It must have been my lucky day. There was an empty stool right next to a hot brunette. She was only a little drunk and less than ten minutes later we were back in my hotel room. Thank God. I was going nuts without anyone to fuck. I felt like some high school loser jacking off every 20 minutes. Not tonight.

End Narration


Sunday 4:30

“Jeff, Alex?” Brian asked.

“Hi. Before we go,” Jeff said, “this is my wife Kendra.”

“Hi.” They left the hotel and made the short journey to the convention center where the competition was being held. It was huge. It was like a freakin’ arena just divided into sections. But before they could go in they had to buy tickets. They all purchased a wristband, and Alex purchased the program book and an event t-shirt for Haley. The shirt was pretty cool. It had a swirl design that said in big letters CHEERSPORT NATIONAL COMPETITION 2005.

Nick Narrating

Damn. I didn’t know it was a national competition. I guess I never thought about it though. “Before we do anything we need to double check the time they compete and everything.” Jeff stated. He led us over to a bench in the crowded hallway and started looking through the program. “They compete at 6:21, and there are four other teams in their division, but we go first. That’s only about an hour away. We should buy any food we want and then go into Hall C where they’ll be performing.”

Shit, this was a detailed process. We went to get some food and then sat down towards the back of the arena. We could move up into priority seating closer to when they perform. I watched some of the teams, but they were co-ed teams. They were really good. Some of those guys could tumble twice as well as the girls. That was kinda scary. But some of the stunts they did were unbelievable. They were tossing the girls like I couldn’t believe and flipping them around and everything. I’d shit myself if I had to do that.

“Jeff we’d better head up to priority seating.” Kendra stated. “It’s 6:15.” So we all headed closer to the stage. Only one more team was left before Haley’s team went. I wondered if she’d be doing those flippy things. She probably could. Before I could finish my thought the guys next to priority seating were ushering all the SCA fans into the reserved rows. Jeff, Kendra, and Alex all rushed forward and found seats for everyone in the second row, dead center. I could see really well. I figured it was kind of stupid to have the priority seating, but when you were up here you could see the faces of everyone on the floor.

Then, the announcer boomed, “Next, the Southington Cyclones from Southington, Massachusetts!!!” The DJ played Irresistible by Jessica Simpson as they ran out onto the floor. Why, I don’t know. Haley found us in the crowd and gave us a quick smile. She looked nervous. Then the music started, and Haley and two other girls stayed bent down for a little while when the other girls were throwing a bunch of standing tumbling. Then when the other girls were done the three in the front stood up and did the standing twisting thing I saw Haley fall on at practice. All three of them landed it perfectly, and when they stood up they all had huge smiles on their faces, and all the SCA fans were screaming.

Next, they went to what looked to be stunts. There were about 40 girls on the team, so there were 8 stunt groups. Then all eight stunt groups threw the fliers into the air, and some fliers twisted and others kicked, and I couldn’t see anything else. Then they went to the running tumbling. Haley went last and did something I couldn’t even name let alone do. Then they did more stunts where Haley pulled her leg around and shit. All the stunts were unbelievably steady. Then they moved and did jumps, and I thought Haley was going to kick herself in the face she jumped so high. Then they moved to a formation where the stunts were really close together. When they went up all the stunts were connected. In the middle and on the sides they had low pops that helped the one legged stunts switch feet and everything. Then they twisted down and moved to a similar formation. This time there were only five stunts up. The middle was a low, and grabbed the feet two other girls stuck out to her. Then Haley and another girl I didn’t recognize popped up and actually did a flip around the legs. Everyone cheered. It was amazing. Then they moved to another formation and did their four-line cheer.

Cyclones are back
A team like none before
National Champions
Back once more!
Cyclones!

They did more stunts and then went to a dance formation. They started dancing. If you had told me the best thing they did was dance I wouldn’t have believed you. But they were amazing. Haley was right at the front with Danielle, Melissa and someone else I didn’t know. The dance was super fast, but nobody messed up at all. Then they moved did a little more tumbling and the music ended with a boom. They held the ending for a minute, but then they all started jumping up and down and ran off the floor. Danielle had picked Haley up and was spinning her around. I guess they were happy with their performance. Everyone around us was jumping and screaming too. I never thought of cheerleading like that. It was nothing like I thought. I followed everyone to the side of the floor where I saw the team hugging and everything. Danielle was still carrying Haley, and Melissa was there hugging her too. Once they let her go she came over and hugged Jeff, Kendra, and Alex. She had a lot of make-up on again. But so did all the cheerleaders walking by. Maybe it was part of the uniform.

“Did our tumbling hit? I couldn’t see everyone.” Haley asked.

“Yeah, the tumbling was great.” Alex answered. “I think I counted three touchdowns, but that was it.”

She seemed happy with that. I hadn’t noticed any mistakes, but I’d seen a total of about eight cheerleading routines in my life.

“OH! We gotta go watch the teams we compete against!” Haley started running to the front so she could see who was performing. Apparently she thought they sucked cause she said, “Well, cross them off. They’ve had four missed motions and eight no nine touchdowns already. And they are just shitty.”

End Narration

They continued to watch and there was only one other team that even had a prayer of beating SCA. It was a close call. The awards ceremony didn’t start for another twenty minutes. So Haley turned to the five guys and asked, “So what did you think?”

“You guys were great.” AJ said.

“It was incredible.” Said Kevin.

“Yeah, nothing like I expected.” Brian replied.

“Thanks. You probably all thought the whole sponsorship was a stupid idea when you heard about it huh?”

“Well, yeah.” Howie admitted. “We pictured cheerleading as a bunch of blond sluts jumping around for football players.”

“Most people do. And they think we’re stupid. We’ve heard it all.”

“Yeah, but you were valedictorian.” Nick argued.

“I know. It’s everyone else who thinks cheerleaders are slutty bimbos jumping around for football or basketball players. All-star teams don’t even cheer for a sport. We just compete.”

“How often do you compete?” Brian asked.

“Usually, every other weekend. Sometimes every weekend. It depends. Since there were two in New York these past two weekends we’ve competed at both. This is one of the biggest ones we go to. We go to a big one in Dallas too. And sometimes we go to one in Disney World. That one is in April on the 17th I think. That’s our last one this year.”

“Wow. You guys compete a lot. Do you ever compete against teams from other countries?”

“Not really. There are some Canadian ones, but most teams are from the U.S. I guess it’s not a big sport anywhere else yet. There is a world’s competition for all-stars, but it’s just the top teams from a bunch of the national competitions. Cause there’s different organizations like the National Cheerleading Association, World Cheerleading Association, and a gazillion others.”

Before they could get any further in their discussion Melissa came over to get Haley to go to awards. “Bye guys. See you later.” She walked over to her team, and she joined her team. The awards started about 15 minutes late.

“Sorry for the delay everyone. We had a tie in the Open Elite All-Girl division, but we reviewed the tapes and it’s worked out now.”

SCA was freaking out by now. They knew it was close, but they didn’t know it would be that close.

Nick Narrating

They announced a few other divisions before Haley’s. Her team looked really nervous. They announced fourth and third place as someone I’ve never heard of. Then they carried on about how close first and second were and I could tell Haley’s team really wanted to win. They announced second place and I don’t know who it was but it wasn’t SCA. But SCA started jumping up and down. Now I I’m confused. Oh, right, if they had already announced the other three teams, then SCA had won. Duh, Carter.

Haley’s team was really happy. It must be a big deal. They got a banner and a big ass trophy. Some people on the team were crying, others were hugging, and some were just shocked. Haley was kind of a combination of all of them. Danielle was hugging everyone she saw. It was pretty funny. Eventually Haley came back to us. Everyone congratulated her and everything like that. It was all a blur. Then Jeff thought it would be better to wait to leave until more people had left, and we all agreed. They played some music and Haley, Danielle, and Melissa were dancing around to it. Everything was fine until they started playing what was apparently one of Haley and Danielle’s favorite songs. They started singing along and dancing.

Here’s the thing we started out friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone

Fuck. She was dancing. She was dancing before, but not like this. And she was in her uniform. It showed her stomach, just like all the other cheerleaders’ uniforms. And she was so fucking hot. I wanted her so bad I could’ve burst. Literally. I’m just glad there weren’t many people around anymore. Maybe nobody would notice.

“Nick,” Brian whispered, “you doing okay over there?” Fuck. He had noticed.

“Fuck off Brian.” I muttered.

“Don’t get all pissy now. I won’t tell anyone. All I have to say is that I’m glad you picked someone nice this time.”

“Yeah. But I don’t want to wait two months before I see her again.”

“You could invite her to the show tomorrow. I don’t think they leave New York until Wednesday night. That’s the 23rd. And I think it was a really late flight. Like 8:30 or something.”

“But I don’t want to like ask her out. I barely know her.”

“Then invite all four of them. We could probably get them all access passes or whatever they’re calling them.”

“Okay. I’ll ask in a minute.”

“After you uh, calm down”

“Brian, shut the fuck up.” Fucker. I wasn’t exactly in a good position here. And he knew it. He was just fucking with me. He couldn’t give me a break here? Well, I guess I did make fun of him all through the As Long As You Love Me video shoot. He was flipping out over Leighanne. Yeah, payback’s a bitch. I watched Haley dance to a few more songs and continued to tell Brian to fuck off whenever he would bring up my um, problem.

I didn’t say much for a while to avoid making an even bigger ass of myself. Some of the other guys decided to hang with Haley, Danielle, and Melissa (Jen had decided not to come though) for a while at their hotel. I think they said yes because of me. I think Howie noticed my problem and just wanted to get back at me since I pick on him all the time. Brian and Kevin had figured it out and I think they truly wanted to help me, but they were going to go back to their wives in their rooms. I don’t know about AJ. I think he was too busy running away from Jess to really notice anything. She was throwing herself at him left and right.


Haley Narrating

I couldn’t believe they agreed to come back to our hotel. Once we were there we went to Danielle’s room. I decided to change out of my uniform, so I went to my room first. I was too tired to care about what I looked like, so I just threw on shorts and a t-shirt. I combed my hair out and headed to Danielle’s room. I walked in to find everyone sitting all over the room. AJ and Melissa were in the chairs, Danielle and Jess were on the loveseat, Howie and Jen were on the floor, and Nick was sitting on the bed. I sat on the other side of the bed. Shit. I was on a bed with Nick fucking Carter. And I already knew he thought I was hot. I really hoped we wouldn’t be left alone that night.

We talked for about an hour until Danielle decided she would need more pillows. She tried calling the front desk, but she couldn’t get a hold of them, so she had to go down to the lobby. She asked Melissa to go with her, so she wouldn’t be alone. AJ decided to go back to his room, although I think that had to do with the fact that Jess was all over him once Danielle and Melissa left. About ten seconds after AJ left Jess went back to her room. Then it was just Howie, Nick, and me. As long as Howie stayed at least until Danielle and Melissa were back it would be fine.

“I’ll be right back.” Howie said, “I’m going to get more ice. We’ve used it all.” He left to get ice. That left Nick and me alone. Oh, fuck.

Nick Narrating

They had to leave us alone? On a bed? Okay, Melissa and Danielle better get back soon. I wasn’t going to last long. “You guys were really great today. I didn’t really get cheerleading before.”

“Thanks.” Wow. This was really awkward. “You’ve been pretty quiet tonight.”

Yeah, because if I say anything I’ll make an ass of myself because I want you so bad. “I’m just tired.”

“Ah, rough night last night?” Holy shit. I couldn’t believe what she was implying. I just sat there in silence and shock. “What?” she asked. Um, I can barely form a coherent thought when I’m around you. I want a rougher night tonight with you. I want to fuck you until you can’t walk straight. I can’t keep my dick in my pants when I’m around you. Any of those would answer the question.

“Nothing.” I said quickly. Danielle and Melissa better come back SOON. It was taking so much self-control not to fuck her right there. It was ridiculous how much I wanted her. I had known her for exactly one week.

We both sat there until I broke the silence, “Is it true blonds have more fun?”

“You’re blond! You should know. I’m sure you have plenty of fun, especially since you don’t even know how many girls you’ve slept with.”

“Yeah, but I want a different perspective.”

“A girl’s perspective?”

“Yeah. Plus I can never tell when girls only like me because of who I am.”

“That must suck. I would hate that. How do you know who to trust?”

“You don’t. But, uh, you wouldn’t like to have that problem with girls huh?”

“Shut up!”

“Oh, don’t be so mad. I have nothing against a little girl on girl.”

“You’re sick.”

“I’m a guy.” She just laughed. Yeah, where was Howie? This was not going to end well if I was alone with her anymore. The whole girl on girl thing sent me over the edge.

CHAPTER 5

Haley Narrating

I heard my cell phone ring around 4:00 while I was eating lunch. I probably should have gotten up before 1 so I wasn’t having lunch at 4:00 in the afternoon, but whatever. “Hello?”

“Hi. It’s Nick.”

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Uh, I was wondering if you and Danielle, Melissa, and Jen want to come to our show tonight at Irving Plaza. We could get you four passes so you could go basically anywhere.”

“Sure. That sounds fun. When should we get there?”

“Uh, we go on at 9, but we sound check at 6. So, if you want to catch us before sound check to get your passes then you should probably get there around 5:30.”

“Okay. Great.”

“Cool. So, um, I’ll see you then.”

“Okay.” The first thing I did was call Danielle. I told her all the information and made her call everyone else. We had to meet in the lobby in less than an hour. I had to get ready. Once I got back to my room I changed into my favorite jeans and a white sparkly shirt. I put my make-up on and went down to the lobby. We left at 5:00 and headed to the show. We got our passes and went to the backstage area. It was 5:45, so they had 15 minutes until sound check.

“Hey. You came!” Nick said. He seemed really bored. I couldn’t even find the other guys.

“Yeah.”

“Well, we don’t sound check for another 15 minutes, so I guess you can just hang around until then. And that’s exactly what we did. At six we headed to where the audience would be. We watched them go through sound check. It was great to see them performing again. You could tell they were happy to be back.

They did do a few new songs that were really good. I couldn’t wait to see how the fans would react.


Nick Narrating

Okay. We had to do good here tonight. For one, the fans were expecting an awesome show, but they’ve been waiting so long they wouldn’t care what we did. The main reason I wanted to do well was because Haley was there. She had said she had been a fan, so that means she’s probably been to at least one of our shows. Hopefully she’d like the new stuff we sing too. All I had to do was be really hot. I’d have to do the ‘you’ve got me actin’ like a fool’ and ‘don’t wanna hear you’ really good tonight.

We were about to go on, and I was really nervous. I was always nervous, but this was different. I didn’t know if it was because we had been gone for so long or if it was because Haley was going to be there tonight. All I knew was I couldn’t screw this up tonight. I knew it would go away after the first or second song, but it still sucked. I hated being nervous. I could tell the other guys were too though. At least I wasn’t alone.

Before I knew it we were on stage with smoke and shit and everyone was screaming. It was definitely good to be back. We marched around and went into The Call. I’m pretty sure the entire place screamed every word to every song they knew. It was awesome. I could tell it was going to be a good show after the first song. The whole place was so full of energy. I forgot how much I loved performing.

Haley Narrating

It was totally amazing. Everyone was screaming throughout the whole show. They were definitely happy their boys were back. I sure was. They were doing great. They were so into the show. Nobody cared AJ couldn’t dance either. Then when they’d do their speaking parts between songs they knew exactly what to say to get everyone excited. It was probably the best show I’d ever seen them do. And I’d been to six of their shows, so I’d seen a lot.

Then they did a new song. The whole place screamed through the entire thing since they didn’t know the words. I think of the new songs the one that got the best reaction was My Beautiful Woman. Then again after Nick says ‘you’ve got me actin’ like a fool’ you don’t really hear the rest of the song. He was really hot when he did it too. I think the song that got the best response all night was either Backstreet’s Back or I Want It That Way. Nick actually sang the ‘don’t wanna hear you say’ part instead of making the crowd sing it. I never understood why he did that. He must know that’s the best part. The people come to see him sing it. They get to sing along with it on their CDs. Backstreet’s Back got a good response because it’s a great song and it was the last one of the night, so everyone just freaked out. Then Nick did the ‘am I sexual’ part. He knew everyone loved that part too. You could just tell.

Overall the show was amazing. After it ended we went backstage and the guys were still excited. We got back there and went right to them.

“Well girls, what did you think?” asked Kevin.

“It was amazing,” I answered. Danielle, Melissa, and Jen agreed too. It had been a really good show.

“What was your favorite part?” Brian asked.

“Larger Than Life,” I answered immediately.

“Backstreet’s Back,” Melissa said.

“Um, probably The Call,” Jen said. “It was really cool.”

“Yeah, it was. The whole show was great, but I liked the new ones,” Danielle replied.

“Glad you liked it,” Nick replied with a smirk. That fuck was looking right at me. Damn he was really hot. Especially on stage. He knew it too.

Nick Narrating

That was a good show. Everyone seemed to love it, and Haley seemed to genuinely like it too. Damn, she was so fucking sexy I couldn’t take it. Before I knew it I was jerking off in the bathroom like a fucking teenager who couldn’t bed a girl if his life depended on it. I had to go out tonight. I’d pretty much nailed every decent girl at the hotel, so I’d have to go to a club or something.

Less than an hour later I was at some club near the hotel. It wasn’t a big club or anything, but there were still some pretty hot girls there. Especially that girl in the corner over there. I started to walk over, and as I got closer I realized the girl was Haley. Danielle, Melissa, and Jen were with her. I decided to go over there anyway, since I didn’t know anyone else there. I walked up behind Haley. I know Danielle saw me but she didn’t say anything to Haley, so I went with my original plan. I walked right next to her and whispered in her ear, “Guess who.”

She spun around really fast and smiled when she realized it was me. “Hey.”

“Hi.” She said, “What are you doing here?”

“Well there’s nothing to do at the hotel, so I thought I’d come here.”

“Nothing or no one?”

“Both.” She did know me pretty well didn’t she? And I didn’t know a damn thing about her except that she was the sexiest person in the room right now and I couldn’t have her. I couldn’t even decide if I should ask her to dance. I just couldn’t handle myself around her.

“How long have you been here?” I asked her.

“About an hour. Long enough for all of my friends to get completely trashed.”

“What about you? You planning on getting trashed tonight?”

“Nope. I can’t. I’m driving. We wouldn’t want to be drunk driving now would we?”

Does everyone in the world know about that?”

“No. Just anyone with a TV, radio, or the ability to read. So I think you’re safe from the toddlers of the world.”

“I wasn’t even that drunk! I just had to swerve to avoid a tiny little pebble in the road.”

“And then when they took your blood there just happened to be alcohol in it?”

“Yep. Don’t know how that got there.”

“Of course you don’t.” Then I started hearing Danielle screeching that she had to go to the bathroom. She dragged Melissa with her. Then they headed toward the bathroom.

“Wait for me!” Jen yelled running after them. It seemed she could hold her liquor fairly well. She only tripped over six people on the way to the bathroom, and it was a full eight feet across the room. Now it was just me and Haley. Shit.

“Well,” said Haley, “I’m gonna go sit down and wait for my friends to come back. You, need to find someone to dance with because you look like and asshole standing here while every other person in the club is dancing.”

I couldn’t let her go. This was the only time I’d have her alone for a long time. I had to do something. I had to think of something fast. She was walking away from me. I grabbed her by the arm and said, “Why don’t you dance with me.” She just shrugged and said okay. Well, at least I didn’t get shot down. We danced together for a few songs, but then the rest of the girls came back so we had to stop. That was probably good otherwise I would’ve done something I’d regret. Like fuck Haley right here on the floor or I might have had enough self-control to drag her out into the parking lot.

Around 1 a.m. Danielle, Melissa, and Jen got bored and walked out of the club ready to leave. They were a little too drunk to remember that only Haley had the keys to the car and enough common sense to drive. Since the four of them left I figured I might as well leave because I didn’t know anyone else, and no one would be as good as Haley anyway, so why stay?

Haley Narrating

My friends are driving me nuts. They are so annoying drunk. Nick must think I’m crazy for having friends like them. Wait, why do I care what he thinks? It doesn’t matter. Besides, it was probably a nice change of scenery for him. I’m sure all of his friends were always completely sober. And, after a few days I’ll never really see him again anyway.

We all walked (or stumbled) into the parking lot. There Nick had to go one way, and of course my car was in the complete opposite direction. I continued guiding my wasted friends to our car, but in the process I dropped my keys. Nick must have been walking really slowly, because he wasn’t that far behind me. I told my friends to go ahead to the car. I figured if they got the wrong car they’d figure it out sooner or later.

Nick and I both bent down to get my keys. He got to them first and handed them to me. We both stood up, but neither of us moved. We both just stood there and, well, we basically stared at each other. It was really awkward. Then before I knew it, he was leaning in towards me. He was going to fucking kiss me. Should I kiss him back or move? Part of me felt like it was too risky to get involved with a Backstreet Boy, but another really, really big part of me thought “Nick fucking Carter is about to kiss you. Do you kiss him or move? You fucking kiss him.”

As soon as I was about to decide whether or not to kiss him I heard a car horn honking and Jen screaming at the top of her lungs, “HALEY WE’RE READY TO GO NOW!!!” Well, that obviously ruined the mood. All I could spit out was “Bye.” And I walked to the car. What just happened? Well, almost happened. I was going to kill Jen as soon as she was sober enough to feel the pain. Wait, no it was better this way. I couldn’t get involved with Nick. It would be too complicated. From this day forward I swear I will never ever touch Nick Carter. Well, maybe a little sex. No that would just make things worse. That was going to be a hard vow to keep wasn’t it?

Nick Narrating

What did I just do? I just fucked everything up worse than it was before. I can’t believe I almost kissed her. She wasn’t even going to kiss me back. Or was she? Oh my God what if she was going to kiss me? Alright that’s it. I’m going to physically hurt Jen. Wait I can’t hit a girl. Oh, I’ll get Howie to do it. He qualifies as a girl so there would be nothing wrong with him hitting Jen, right? Besides Jen could probably take him with her eyes shut.

I had to focus here. Had she been planning on kissing me back? I guess I’d never know. But what if she wasn’t going to? Maybe it was better Jen started screaming before I got shot down. Unless I wasn’t going to get shot down. That was the thing. I just didn’t know. And I never would. Unless we miraculously fell in love, got married, and had six kids. Then I could assume she had been planning on kissing me. But that wasn’t going to happen. This was real life, not some stupid fan fiction story.

Haley Narrating

Alright, so after we got back to the hotel I sent my friends to their rooms to pass out. They were going to have hangovers, but that was their fault not mine. Besides, I had my own problems to deal with. Like, why did Nick kiss me, was I going to kiss him back, and finally what would have happened if he had kissed me?

I knew I shouldn’t get involved even if it was only for a night. It would only make things complicated. But this was also Nick Carter. Nobody turned him down, and deep down I knew I wasn’t going to either. He tried to kiss me because he wants to sleep with me. I was going to kiss him back. And we would have been making out in the middle of the parking lot outside the club. Then we’d be on magazine covers across the country and I would become Nick’s latest whore.

Okay, now for the question that’s been eating at me, but I’ve been trying to ignore it. Did I want that to happen? Okay, I guess it wasn’t the question that was eating at me; it was the answer.

I decided to just go to sleep and hope this was all just a dream. Hey, for most girls it probably is right?

Nick Narrating

I had to figure out what to do. I was gonna see her again. It may be two months from now or it could be tomorrow. And if it was tomorrow I had no idea what I was going to do. Should I say something, apologize, or ignore it? I knew I didn’t want to ignore it, because I had really wanted to kiss her. But what if she didn’t want to kiss me? But this couldn’t be completely one-sided could it? I don’t know how I could like her so much, and have her not be the slightest bit interested.

Maybe if I just went to bed I could forget about everything. Then maybe I’d forget that I just made a complete ass out of myself because I tried to kiss the hottest girl on the face of the Earth and had basically been inches from getting shot down. Oh my God I sound like a 15 year old teenager don’t I. I’m a Backstreet Boy. Aren’t I supposed to be able to get any girl I want?

Maybe I still could. How I was going to get Haley I don’t know, but I couldn’t give up without even trying. Then I’d always wonder what would have happened if I had done something.

CHAPTER 6

Haley Narrating

Ring. Ring.

Why do I always wake up to the phone ringing? It was 9a.m. I got like four hours of sleep. I could barely even form full sentences.

“Hello?”

“Hi Haley. It’s AJ.”

“Hey what’s up?”

“Last night I think one of you left your jacket at the concert. One of our security guards found it I guess. It’s black.”

“Well, that’s real descriptive AJ. What else does it look like?”

“It’s got like a zipper. And I think it’s got a sleeve. No there’s two of those.”

“Alright, you know what? New plan. I’ll just come over right now and see if it’s one of ours. Okay?”

“Okay, but we have a meeting at 10:45, so it would be good if-’’

“I’m coming over now. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Okay, sounds good. See ya then.”

“Bye.” Great. Now I had to get out of bed and walk to their hotel. God I hope I don’t see Nick. What would I do?

Nick Narrating

“You’re fucking lucky someone left a jacket at the show last night.” Said AJ. “Otherwise you’d never see her again. And I can tell you right now it’s not Danielle’s jacket cause it’s a youth medium.”

“I know. Thanks for your help man.”

“No problem Nicky.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ok Nicky. Bye Nicky.” Asshole. Okay, now I just had to figure out what I was going to say, where I should ask her to, and when I should ask her. Okay no problem. I couldn’t ask AJ anything else, or I’d seem desperate, so I’ll go to the other guys. Yeah that’ll work.

Let’s see. I have three more things to figure out, and one, two, oh perfect three more Backstreet Boys. Probably shoulda been able to do the math a little faster, but whatever. Okay, well Howie’s room is closest so I guess I’ll start there.

Haley Narrating

I called Melissa even though she was probably still asleep. After she answered I felt kinda bad considering she didn’t even speak. It was more like a growl.

“Melissa?”

“Uh.”

“I need to talk to you. Can I come to your room?”

“Uh huh.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right over.” I decided to get dressed first and give Melissa a few more minutes to wake up. I threw on cheerleading clothes and ran out the door and down the hall. I banged on Melissa’s door until she came and let me in. She shut the door and lay back in bed.

“Melissa I have to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone else, especially Danielle, because I don’t really need the entire cheerleading community to know what I have to say.”

“Okay.” Wow she was practically asleep again. Oh well, I was here now.

“Last night when we were leaving that club Nick almost kissed me.”

“WHAT?!?!?!” Wow I didn’t know it would get that big of a reaction. She leapt out of bed and all the sheets fell onto the floor. Except the one wrapped around her foot. That she tripped over for a while until she managed to get it off. “Are you serious?”

“No I’m making this all up to get you out of bed. Of course I’m being serious!”

“Holy shit!!”

“Do that for another 12 hours and you might be about where I am right now.”

“Wait, you said he almost kissed you. Why didn’t he?”

“Right as we were about to kiss Jen leaned out the window and screamed Haley we’re ready to go now!!! Loud enough for everyone in the state of New York to hear.”

“I’ll kill her Haley. I swear just say the word and I’ll do it.”

“No, no it’s better this way. It would only make things confusing. And it’s not like it would last anyway.”

“I’ll still hurt her a little. And Danielle could help me.” That was why I loved Melissa. She’d do anything for me. And she had always hated *NSync. That helped too. She didn’t even switch when Danielle had decided she liked *NSync for those two weeks that she did. Then she’d actually seen a picture of what Justin really looked like and she swore off all men for 3 months.

“No. And you can’t tell anyone at least until we go home.”

“Oh come on. I can’t wait until tomorrow night.”

“Well you have to. And now that we’ve wasted fifteen minutes I only have half an hour to get to their hotel.”

”Why are you going to their hotel?”

“Their security found a jacket and they want to know if it’s one of ours. AJ called and the only way he could describe it was that it was black with two sleeves.”

“Danielle has one like that.”

“And so does every other girl on the planet. But I don’t care about that right now. You have to help me figure out what to say if I see Nick.”

“You wait and see what he says first. Besides, if he’s not interested he won’t come and talk to you at all, and if he is interested in you he’ll come and talk first.”

“Okay, but what if he just wants sex?”

“Then you give him sex.”

“I do have some morals here Melissa.”

“When the hot Backstreet Boys is involved, you say fuck the morals. Hell, I would. Have you seen him? He is fucking hot.”

“I know.”


Nick Narrating

“Howie,” I asked, “I need your help.”

“With what?”

“Well, I have this friend, Oh fuck that. I wanna ask Haley out, but I almost kissed her last night so that sort of complicated things a little bit, and she’s coming over in half an hour to pick up a jacket that someone left at our show.”

“Okay, what do you need my help with?”

“When should I ask her?”

“Today, when she comes over.”

“Is that why you never get laid Howie? Too eager?”

“Do you want my help or not jackass?”

“No, I do. I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“No, you’re right I’m not.”

“I do not know how I’ve put up with you for twelve years.”

“Well, you hardly ever spoke to me until I was fifteen, so it’s more like ten years.”

“I didn’t know what to say! I was afraid I’d swear in front of you or something.”

“I was thirteen and fourteen not six!”

“Okay, okay. Can we get back on track here?”

“Sure. When should I take her out?”

“Today.”

“Again with the eagerness Howie. I swear if you weren’t a lost cause I’d give you some tips. But you know, if you don’t use it you lose it, so that would be a waste of my time.”

“Nick I swear I’m gonna,”

“Okay, fine, what time?”

“Well, we have a meeting at 10:45. That should last until about 12:30. Then we have our show, and you need to be there at 5, so maybe 1.”

“Okay. Thanks Howie.”

“Anytime.” Okay, next thing. I had to figure out where we should go. Kevin would probably be best at that. I got to his room and forced myself to knock on the door. I couldn’t believe I needed this much help getting a girl.

“Kevin, can I come in?”

“Sure.”

“I need your help.”

“With what?”

“Oh my God, you’ve known me for twelve years now. You should just know.”

“Well, I’m sorry man. As soon as I learn to read minds I’ll be sure to get back to you.”

“Oh my God, you talk so slow. I mean spit it out!”

“Nick, what’s your problem?”

“Nothing!”

“Then what the fuck do you want?”

“I wanna ask Haley out. But I don’t know where to go.”

“Well, you should’ve just said that. I can help you there.”

“Okay, well, where should we go?”

“Well, you could go for a walk.”

“Good idea, and I’ll tie a sweater around my neck and join the cheerleading team.”

“Fine. What about a museum?”

“Would you like to hear my comment about that or just give me another suggestion?”

“Actually, I’d like to hear your smart ass comment.”

“Well, I don’t have one. I just figured you wouldn’t wanna hear it, and that made me sound better so you know.”

“Yeah, okay. You could go to a movie, or a restaurant.”

“A restaurant. Traditional, I like it. Thanks man.”

“No problem.”

One room left and I had fifteen minutes until she came. I practically ran to Brian’s door and knocked. He let me in and sat back down and read the newspaper.

“Why are you reading the newspaper?”

“Oh, I’m fine. And the wife and kid are out shopping thanks for asking.”

“Brian, seriously I need your help.”

“With what?” Why did everyone keep asking that? And he was still reading the newspaper.

“I want to ask Haley out.” Oh, wow that made him put down his newspaper. I’m so glad my pathetic love life was more important than world news.

“Since when do you need help with girls?”

“Would you just tell me what to say?”

“Well, hello would be a good start.”

“Then what?”

“What do you usually say?”

“That’s usually about as far as I get.”

“What do you mean?”

“Then things usually start unzipping.”

“Oh, right. Then just ask her what she’s doing later.

“And just ignore last night?”

“What happened last night?”

“Well, after the show I went to a club and Haley was there with her friends. So I hung out with them. When we decided to leave she dropped her keys. Her friends were drunk so they just kept right on walking so I bent over to pick them up. And then I have no idea why, but I tried to kiss her. But then Jen screamed that they were ready to go and Haley just left.”

“Oh, wow. Okay, apologize for last night, see what she says, and then ask what she’s doing.”

“Okay.” I got up and walked to the door terrified that she would just say yeah, you dumbfuck. Why the hell did you try to kiss me? I’m way too good for you.

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“What if she says no?”

“Don’t let her.”

“Okay.”

Haley Narrating

Well, it was time for me to leave, or I’d be late so I just walked really slow. I seemed to get there unusually fast though. I walked in and luckily saw AJ across the room. He started walking over to me, and I quickly looked around the room to see if Nick was there. I spotted him in the corner and prayed that he wouldn’t see me. Why was I so afraid to face him?

“Hey, Haley.”

“Hey. Um, do you have the jacket?”

“No.”

“Okay,”

“I left it in my room. I’ll go get it now.”

“Okay.” He walked towards the elevator and Nick walked over to me. Holy shit. What the hell do I say? Is it possible to have a one sided conversation?

“Hi Haley.”

“Hi.”

“Look, I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to,”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.”

Nick Narrating

Good because I totally did mean to. I just couldn’t say that.

“Okay, well I was just wondering what you were doing later.”

“Nothing really.”

“Good cause,” I can’t believe I’m doing this. “I was thinking, maybe we could go to lunch today.”

Please say yes. Please.

CHAPTER 7

Haley Narrating

OH MY GOD! Nick fucking Carter just asked me out on a fucking date. Do I say yes? I mean, I obviously want to say yes, but it will just make things complicated.

“Well, I don’t know if that would be a good idea.” Okay. That was the truth.

“Come on,” he said.

“I don’t want things to get awkward.”

“Do you really think they won’t be awkward after this?”

“Good point.”

“I know. So when should I pick you up?”

“You know I never said yes.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t realize that. But were you really going to say no?”

“Probably not.”

“I’ll be at your hotel room at 1.”

“O-o-okay.” Holy shit. I totally should have said no. Then he walked over to Brian and told him something probably about me. I couldn’t believe that in three hours I would be on a date with a Backstreet Boy.

Another ten minutes later AJ finally came back with the jacket.

“What the hell were you doing up there AJ?”

“Well, see I kinda misplaced the jacket a little bit.”

“How do you misplace something a little bit?”

“Okay, I lost it and I had to look through the entire room before I found it okay?”

“You could’ve just said you lost it.”

“Well, maybe I didn’t want you to know I lost it because it seemed really stupid.” How did we end up arguing? I would have said the same thing.

“Okay fine. Can I just see the jacket?” He handed it to me and I looked at the tag. “This is a youth medium. You had to know none of us could fit into this. Danielle wouldn’t even be able to get one boob into this.” He didn’t even say anything. He just shrugged.

“Well, thanks anyway.” I said. I started to walk towards the doors when something occurred to me. “AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“You knew about this didn’t you?”

“About what?”

“Bullshit. You knew!”

“Don’t tell him you figured out his master plan. He likes to think he’s clever. And if you’re going to be dating him you should get used to figuring out his surprises before thy happen. He’s not very good at hiding things.”

“Okay. Bye AJ.”

“See ya later.”

“Wait. How did you know I said yes to him?”

“Were you really gonna say no?”

“That’s exactly what he said.” I had no idea what to do next so I just walked out. The next thing I had to do was call Melissa. She answered after one ring.

“Haley?”

“Nick asked me out.”

“Ah! I knew it!”

“How did you know?”

“The Backstreet Boys don’t care if someone left their jacket at one of their shows. They would never bother with giving it back.”

“I never even thought of that.”

“Well, you should’ve. You’re the smart one.”

“Okay. Whatever. I need you to wake everyone else up and get lots of M&M’s.”

“Why M&M’s?”

“Universal cure for hangovers. I’m going to need a lot of help getting ready.”

“Why, when are you going out?”

“1:00.”

“Today?”

“Yes.”

“Shit. I’m waking Danielle now.”

Nick Narrating

I can’t believe she said yes. I don’t know what I would have done if she had said no. My hand would probably have fallen off from overuse. Gee, Nick what happened to your hand? Oh, well see I thought this girl was really hot, but she totally rejected me so I jerked off 24-7. I don’t think Kevin would approve of that answer.

I had already made reservations at Kevin’s favorite restaurant for 1:15. Shit should I have told her it was sort of fancy? What if she comes in jeans? It would be my fault too. I had to tell her. But how was I going to do that? Oh, right. It’s 2005. People have cell phones. Perfect. I got mine out and dialed her number.

“Hello?”

“Haley. It’s Nick.”

“Hi.”

“I just realized I never told you that the restaurant is kinda fancy.”

“Okay.”

“Is that okay with you?” Shit. I never even thought about what she’d like. “Cause if it’s not I can change it.”

“No. It’s great.”

“Good. Okay bye.” Okay. That was dealt with.

Haley Narrating

Shit. Okay. I had to figure out what to wear. And what to do with my hair. I almost ran back to my hotel so I would have time to buy something new since my entire wardrobe consisted of cheerleading clothes. I went to my room to find Melissa, Jen, and Danielle sitting on my bed eating M&M’s.

“Haley,” Danielle started, “What the hell is going on. Mel wouldn’t tell us anything. She said you should tell us.”

“Nick just asked me out.”

“OH MY GOD!!! I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU!” Now she was jumping up and down like a 12 year old. “OW, hangover. I need the M&M’s NOW.”

“We’re going to a fancy restaurant today at 1, and I have no idea what to wear or anything.”

“Call Jess.” Said Melissa. “It’ll be slutty, but it’ll be a start.”

“Yeah,” said Danielle, “then we’ll just tone it down like eighty slut notches.”

“Slut notches?” I asked.

“Don’t you know the slut scale? You have 1 being the least slutty and 20 being the sluttiest. Like, I would be about a 15, Jen is probably an 11, Mel would be about a 9, and you would be like a 7.”

“So what’s Jess?”

“About a 42.”

“Okay, we’ll call Jess, but I’m not promising to wear anything she says. It’ll just be ideas.”

“Fine.” Danielle said. “I’ll call her.” She even put it on speaker phone so we could all hear what she said.

“Hello?”

“Jess, it’s Danielle. I’m taking a poll, and I was wondering what you would wear to go out to lunch on a date at a fancy restaurant.”

“Well, definitely something low cut. Oh, probably that pink sweater I have that’s cut about to the middle of my boobs that’s sorta see-through. And that black miniskirt that shows most of my underwear, except that time when I didn’t wear any underwear.”

“Okay. Thanks Jess. I have to go now.” She hung up and all four of us started laughing hysterically. After another ten minutes of making fun of Jess I realized how little time we had.

“Guys,” I said, “we have to figure this stuff out now because we have two and a half hours to get it all done.”

“Get in the car. I’ll drive to the mall.” Melissa said. Fifteen minutes later we were at the mall. Melissa was the first one to come up with a plan. “Me and Jen will go together and Haley and Danielle will go together. We’ll meet back here in an hour. We’ll buy everything good and take back anything Haley doesn’t wear. And everyone be thinking about what she should do with her hair and stuff while you shop.”

We all agreed and practically ran to stores. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for my friends. Danielle pulled me into store after store making me try on every piece of clothing with the exception of pink see-through sweaters and black miniskirts.

Melissa Narrating

“Jen, can you believe Nick asked Haley out?”

“Yes and no. I mean, obviously it’s sort of unbelievable, but did you see the way he acted around her during the meetings?”

“I know. Obviously he doesn’t hide a crush very well.”

“I’m just worried he’ll hurt her. I mean, he’s a total man whore.”

“Oh, I know. But maybe people can change.”

“I hope so. Or Jeff would personally kill him.”

“Definitely. Wait, does Jeff know? We have to tell him. He’s still in the city right? So if Nick’s an asshole he can go beat him up. That way Danielle wouldn’t have to. Although she probably would even if Jeff beat him up too. She’d do anything for Haley.”

“Yeah. We all would. But let’s ask Haley if she want us to tell him. Maybe she wants to see how today goes.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right. Oh, what about this shirt?”

Danielle Narrating

We had ten minutes before we had to meet Jen and Melissa and we’d only found one skirt. I was really hoping Jen or Mel had found something or Haley was going to have to go on the date naked. Although Nick would probably like that. It might save some time, only needing to undress one of them. Except Haley wouldn’t go for that on the first date. I would, but Haley wouldn’t.

“Haley, hurry up we’re already late.”

“I’m coming.” When we got there we were late. But we just ran to the car and drove back towards the hotel. Haley tried everything on and we made her wear a light blue tank top with a black skirt (not a miniskirt though. We’d never think of those the same way again). It didn’t matter to me anyway. I didn’t wear skirts except at cheerleading, but whatever.

Melissa told Haley to leave her hair down, but Jen wanted her to put it up. I totally hated being a girl. There was way to much involved. Can’t we just wear cheerleading clothes everywhere? You know shorts and a T-shirt? That would make my life so much easier.

“Just leave your fucking hair down and be done with it.” I finally said. I was actually surprised she listened to me. Then I threw the clothes to her and made her put them on. While she was getting dressed I got out the make-up she needed to wear. I’d already spent over two hours getting her ready, and I was getting annoyed. Don’t get me wrong. I love Haley to death, but there comes a point where you need to say fuck it and just go for it.

Nick Narrating

It was 12:45. I had been a fucking wreck throughout the entire meeting. And then every time I’d start to get nervous or something I’d feel like a total dumbfuck because I was the guy. I wasn’t supposed to be nervous. And I was a Backstreet Boy. I was supposed to get all the girls. Hell, I did get all the girls.

Oh, crap. If I was gonna start dating Haley I was probably gonna have to stop sleeping with everything that moves huh? Damn, I’d never even thought of that. Oh well, you do what you gotta do. Besides, Haley was so freakin’ hot it shouldn’t matter. I don’t know why I was getting so worried about this. It was one date. I didn’t even know if we’d end up on a second date. Sure I hoped we would but you never know.

I figured I should head over to her hotel so I wouldn’t be late. It seemed like the longest limo ride ever. I don’t know why I had to have security. There would be no fans there. They all knew which hotel we were staying at and there hadn’t even been any there when I’d left. I don’t know how or why, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want Haley to have to deal with them on our first date.

I barely waited for the limo to stop before I practically jumped out. I went to the elevator and waited for what seemed like forty minutes before it finally came. When it did I got on and punched Haley’s floor four or five times just to make sure it worked. I guess the bright white light wasn’t enough of a clue for me. As soon as I got to her floor I saw Danielle, Melissa, and Jen coming out of Haley’s room. They must have been helping her get ready.

“Hey, Nick.” Danielle said.

“Hi.”

Jen and Melissa walked onto the elevator, but Danielle said, “I’ll be there in a minute guys.” When the elevator was gone she started talking to me. “Nick I swear to God if you hurt her I will find a way through your security and I will physically hurt you. And not just a little either. It will hurt. And I’ll get Haley’s brother too. Now I don’t care how serious or not serious this all ends up. Just don’t hurt her.”

Holy shit. “O-okay. I didn’t plan to hurt her.”

“Okay. Sorry for the intimidation there. I’ve always been that way. I’d play sports in high school, and I used to get carded all the time. Well, anyway, have fun now.”

She was fucking crazy. But it was funny. Sort of. Except for the physical pain part.

“Oh, Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not gonna like sue me or anything for threatening you right?”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Thanks. Just checking.” And with that she ran down the stairs. Now I was late.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. When she did I didn’t even know what to say. She looked great. I couldn’t get over how great she looked. So I said the first thing that came to mind other than holy fuck.

“You look great.” Wow. Real original Carter. That made you seem super intelligent. Wow, remind me never to say upper because it sounded really gay. Except most of the thoughts in my head weren’t gay. At all.

“Thanks.”

“Well, I ran into your friends on the way here. That’s why I’m a few minutes late.”

“Oh my God, I’m really sorry. I know they’re totally crazy. Did you talk to any of them?”

“I had a quick conversation with Danielle. She just said that-”

“No, I have a pretty good idea as to what she said. You’re not gonna like sue her or anything right?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“So, you ready to go?”

“Yeah. Definitely.” Holy shit she was so hot.

Chapter 8

Haley Narrating

We walked into the hall of the hotel, and my feet were already killing me from wearing the fucking shoes Danielle had thrown at me about 3 minutes ago.

“Nick, can I just run back to my room for like thirty seconds?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Be right back.” I walked, well hobbled back to my door and. As soon as I got into the room I yanked my shoes off and threw them in the garbage. I didn’t have time to find another good pair of shoes, so I just took the flip-flops from under the bed. Hopefully there was no rule against flip-flops in the restaurant. I went back out the door and we got on the elevator.

“So, what did you need in your room?”

Should I tell him the truth? Oh, who cares. This was never going to last anyway. “I had to change my shoes because they were making my feet numb.”

Nick Narrating

So she went back to change into flip-flops. That was something I would do. Maybe we were more alike than we thought.

Was it bad that I couldn’t stop staring at her? Probably wasn’t the best thing huh? Oh well. What am I supposed to do? Control myself? Yeah, I tried that when I was like fifteen and it hadn’t worked. So I had never tried again. Why bother with something like that?

“So where are we going?”

Oh, crap I think she just said something. Except I have no idea what because I was busy rambling on and on to myself about how I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants. Maybe we should just not go on elevators together. I always seemed to make an ass out of myself whenever I was in close quarters with her. Last time we had been on an elevator together I had to run to the limo really really fast to avoid any really embarrassing pictures of me in magazines.

Okay, note to self none of the following can be done with Haley:
1) Elevators
2) Communication
3) Beds
4) Pools

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, you know what, never mind. It’s not important.”

“Okay.” I have never been more grateful for the elevator to reach the lobby as I was at that exact moment. Neither of us said anything until we reached the limo. Or I was too busy wondering if we’d have enough time to have sex in the limo before we got to the restaurant to hear anything.

“Holy shit. You brought a limo.”

“Yes I did.” Was that bad or good? I was really hoping for good. Otherwise this date was going to be a fucking disaster. Well, not a fucking disaster, but a disaster. Damn, I wish it could be a fucking disaster.

As we started driving I kept trying to think of things to talk about, but my mind was a total blank. Well, that’s not true. I mean, I did come up with two things. One was please have sex with me, and the other was please, please have sex with me.

“So,” she said, “why is this awkward?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on. I know you didn’t go to school, but you can’t be that stupid. We haven’t said a word to each other since we got off the elevator.”

“Oh, you picked up on that too, huh.”

“Yeah, yeah I did. Look, maybe this date’s too much pressure.” Oh crap she was gonna ask me to take her back to the hotel. “Maybe we should do something else.” Or not.

“Like what?”

“Well, I have an idea, but you have to get your driver out of the limo. And I’ll need the keys too.”

“Okay, I can do that.” As I said that we pulled into the restaurant. I asked the driver to go check on our reservations. Then I told him to leave the keys and that I’d take care of parking it. I sorta didn’t think he was gonna believe me, but he did.

“Give me the keys.” Was it bad that she could tell me to go jump off the Empire State Building and I would totally do it without even asking one question? “Get in the front.” Once again, no questions asked.

She started driving away. I had no idea where she was going, but I didn’t care. “I need you to call either Brian or AJ on your cell phone.” I did. Obviously.

“Hey. Um hold on I don’t know why I’m calling you.” I covered the speaker on the phone. “Haley, why did I call him?”

“Oh, give me the damn phone. Hello? Brian?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“It’s Haley. Me and Nick decided not to go to the restaurant, we took the limo, and the driver’s still at the restaurant, so I was thinking maybe someone should go get him.”

“Was this your idea? To not go to lunch I mean?”

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“I was just thinking there is no way in hell Nick would have thought to do that. And in case you didn’t pick up on it he has no idea what to say or do.”

“Yeah, I did pick up on that. Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you later.” I handed Nick his phone.

“Not that I care, I just wondered why you didn’t want to go to lunch with me.”

Haley Narrating

Aw, he sounded like an eight year old. He sounded so pitiful. It was the funniest thing I’d ever heard. You never would have thought that Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy, could be that insecure. And I guess that ‘not that I care,’ was supposed to hide that.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go with you. It was that I didn’t want to sit there with silent Nick while you sat there oogling my goodies.”
“What?! I haven’t been oogling your goodies!”

“Nick I’m not blind. You barely speak when I’m around you. It’s okay. You think I’m hot. I think you’re hot too, I just hide it better.” Holy shit. That was really direct. I guess that’s what the Carter charm did to you.

“Yeah, hiding things never was one of my strong points.”

“I kinda figured.” I parked the limo in front of a video rental store. “I’m going to go in, get a movie, and we’re going to watch it in the limo.”

Nick Narrating

She was gonna come out with some chick flick. I just knew it. She came back like thirty seconds after going in.

“So, what did you get?”

“One of my favorite movies of all time.” Yep, chick flick.

“What is it?”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have seen it.” Definite chick flick.

“Come on tell me.”

“Bring It On!” That I would not have predicted.

“I actually think I’ve seen this, except I was so drunk I do not remember anything.”

“Oh, you’ll love it.”

“Are the girls hot?”

“Not as hot as me.”

“I believe that.” Wow, that is the most actual flirting I have done with her and not have made an ass out of myself. I think she was thinking the same thing. I guess I did still have the Carter charm. I was beginning to think it had worn off.

“And it has a special cheer-a-long at the end!”

“Oh good.” Lovely. The movie started and she was right. The girls weren’t as hot as her. Then the girl’s boyfriend came. He had to be the gayest manly man ever.

“Wait, this next line is the best line in the whole movie. Ready, Torrance, I can’t mac on you in front of the parentals. Oh, that’s the best.”

“That’s like the gayest thing ever!”

“Well, he’s a guy cheerleader. What do you expect?”

“Very good point.”

“You’ll like this next part.”

“Why?”

“It’s when all the girls are changing.”

“Yeah, you’re right I do like this part.” We kept watching for a while and we didn’t have too many comments until they started practicing. They said they were going to do the hardest pyramid known to man kind and I guess she disagreed.

“That pyramid is like the easiest pyramid ever. They said they were gonna do a wolf wall, which is actually a real pyramid, except that’s not a wolf wall. That’s a pyramid I could do when I was like 10.” I laughed. The pyramid did look pretty easy compared to what I’d seen at the competition.

The movie was actually pretty good. I thought I’d hate it, but I also had Haley sitting like three inches away so that was probably part of it. You know how sometimes you go on a date with someone you think is really hot, but after a while you get used to how hot they were and then you can carry on a normal conversation? Yeah, well that wasn’t happening here.

“This next part is my favorite part of the entire movie. Seriously. It’s great.” She said. It was the tryout scene. She knew every single person who tried out and when they went. I guess she’d scene this a few times. We watched like five people try out and it wasn’t that funny. “This next one is what Danielle wanted to do at her tryouts.”

“Okay.” Turns out Danielle wanted to rap. That probably wouldn’t have helped her make the team. Then we watched a guy who thought he was trying out for Pippin. I swear I could have gone my whole life without ever having to see that. If young children ever watched this movie they should be shielded from having to see that. “You know, you could have warned me that he was going to be that gay.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be that disturbed. I thought after being around so many guy dancers you’d be used to it.”

“There are some things you never get used to.”

“Oh, yeah this next girl’s tryout is what Jess’s looked like.” I was expecting to see someone who fell all over the place or something. Instead I saw some girl in the sluttiest outfit ever dancing on a table. “She was really nervous so we told her to do what she did best.”

“And she’s best at dancing like a stripper?”

“Well, Danielle decided that stripping was probably her nighttime job. And actually it answers a lot of questions.”

“Oh, does it?”

“Yes it does. Hold on this part is important.” Another girl was trying out. Two of the girls were really bitchy too. They told her to do a standing back tuck. Instead she did something else. I don’t know what. All those flipping things looked the same to me.

“A back handspring backtuck is actually easier than just the tuck, so really doing the back handspring first made her look worse.” I didn’t really know what she meant so I was just kinda like ok, sure. “Sorry,” she said, “sometimes I get really annoyed with the inaccuracies of this movie.”

“It’s okay. I don’t care.” And I didn’t. I was just glad I hadn’t totally fucked this date up. Yet. It was only 2:15. I had until like 4:30.

“But I do have to say, the cheer Torrance is about to give Missy is awful!!” She started mimicking the cheer as she was saying it. “Awesome, oh wow. Like totally freak me out. I mean right on. Toros sure are number one.”

“I take it you’ve seen this a few times?”

“Just once or twice.”

“Ok. Now seriously how many times did you see it?”

“I don’t know. Too many.” We watched for another like forty minutes or something and they had their first game. That’s when they brought up cheer sex. I liked that concept. Maybe Haley could have cheer sex with me.

“Hey Haley, would you ever have cheer sex with me?”

“Never know.” Wait, was that a yes or no. Oh well, I’d rather have real sex anyway.

“How about real sex?” Shit. I did not just say that out loud did I? She kinda rolled her eyes at me. Yeah I did say that out loud. You know how I said I was glad I hadn’t totally fucked up this date? Well, as of 3:00, consider it fucked up.

I just kept really quiet until the choreographer came. Then I just had to comment on how gay he was. She agreed to. I actually made her laugh a few times. That meant she didn’t totally hate me. I hope.

Two of her favorite lines were actually from the gay choreographer. Like ‘cheerleaders are dancers gone retarded’ and the line even I remembered from when me and Aaron watched this with our sisters two years ago. Granted I got fucking plastered and Aaron slept through it, but looking back I think he had actually had like four beers so maybe that was why he passed out. Oh, crap he was only like fifteen. I probably shouldn’t have allowed him to do that. Oh well, back to that famous line. ‘These are not spirit fingers, these are spirit fingers. And these are gold.’ The movie finally ended and it was only 3:45. I had an hour and fifteen minutes before I had to be anywhere.

“We have to return the movie,” she said, “I’ll go do that.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

“Okay.” We went in and returned the movie. Then I decided we should go next door and get ice cream. Who cared if I wasn’t supposed to be eating ice cream? So I was on a diet. Ice cream tastes good and I will have my fucking ice cream. That was a really long rant about ice cream. Especially since I just wanted to do something so the date wouldn’t end.

We walked into the ice cream parlor which was surprisingly quaint for New York City and we got our ice cream. It was really good too. We sat down and ate it for a little while, but about the time we were done I spotted three girls who looked to be about 25. They immediately started whispering and looking at me so I grabbed Haley and ran out the back door.

And they came running after me. And running out of the place didn’t exactly make me blend in either. Dammit Carter think before you do things! Dumbass! Now the fucking date was going to end with us getting chased by a bunch of girls. That normally wouldn’t sound that bad except I didn’t want Haley to have to deal with this, especially now. She was never going to speak to me again.

Five years ago I was so much taller than all our fans I could outrun them. Here’s the thing. In five years people can grow a lot. I wasn’t that much taller than them anymore. And I was still muttering fuck fuck fuck to myself.

Then one of the girls chasing us was screaming, “But I’m a reporter. I work for a magazine!” Like that made it any better. We ran for like three blocks and then Haley pulled me around a corner and between two buildings. Remember when I said I couldn’t do certain things with Haley? Yeah, well being between buildings could be added to the list. And hopefully if the girls caught us the reporter wouldn’t write anything about my hard on.

“Look,” Haley said, “they’re probably still gonna find us so we have to leave in a second, but go back to the ice cream place. They’ll never go back there. Next they’ll look at your hotel.”

“They don’t know what hotel we’re staying at.”

“Yes they do.”

“They have no way of knowing that. How would they-”

“Trust me they know. Okay? When your favorite band hasn’t been doing anything for five years and then they finally are, you find out what you need to know. Word gets around.” She had a point.

“Okay. Let’s go.” We started running back towards the limo which was parked outside the ice cream shop. She unlocked the doors and we both jumped in. She started driving away. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was already 5. “Shit. I have to be at sound check like now!”

“Do you need to go to your hotel first?”

“No, Brian probably brought everything I’d need when I wasn’t back at 4:30.”

“Okay, I’ll drive to the show, go back to my hotel and leave the limo with the valet guy and you’ll have to send someone to pick it up.”

“Okay. I will.”

“Don’t forget.”

“Okay. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How come you didn’t like, get tired when we were running?”

“I run all the time. We have to run seven minute miles for cheerleading.” Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah I was exhausted.

We drove and twenty minutes later we were at the show. I saw some people I recognized and figured they worked with us. Or I’d slept with them. No there was a guy I recognized too. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep with him.

I got out of the car, but before I shut the door I looked at Haley. “I’m really sorry.” I said.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. At least people still remember you.” She was smiling that had to be good.

“You know, you could come to the show. I know the band. I could get you in.”

“Right now I think you’re on the band’s shit list. Besides, I have to pack.”

I forgot she was leaving tomorrow. Fuck.

Kevin Narrating (5:00)

I’m am going to kill him. I swear to God. Murder. He should be here by now. This was our second show. If he didn’t show up I was going to beat his ass into next week. How could he be so fucking irresponsible?

“AJ,” I screamed, “where the fuck is the dumbass?”

“I don’t know where Nick is?”

“How did you know I meant Nick?”

“Because you said dumbass.”

“How did you know Nick was dumbass?”

“Because Nick and dumbass are basically synonymous.” I had to laugh at that. Sometimes no matter how mad I was, AJ could make me laugh. Nick could too, but since Nick wasn’t here that was hard.

I kept yelling for another twenty minutes when Nick came running through the door. “Where the fuck have you been?” I screamed.

“I was-”

“I don’t care where you were. You’re late. Twenty minutes late. And you look like hell, so you’ll have to take a shower. And sound check starts in eight minutes!” I walked out of the room because if I stayed in there there would only be four Backstreet Boys and that would screw up our formations. Granted Nick was usually too far forward, or back, but all the same you needed five guys to do most of our formations.

End Narration

“Nick,” said AJ, “what the hell happened to you?”

“Man, you don’t wanna know.”

“How’d the date go?”

“It was a complete and total disaster.”

CHAPTER 9

Haley Narrating

I was still jet-lagged from flying home last night. I hadn’t slept much since, well everything. Basically since I met the freaking Backstreet Boys I had never been the same. As I changed the channel on the TV I noticed TRL was on. I hadn’t watched TRL in over four years. Oh, that’s not true. I watched it that one day Nick was on for his solo stuff. If you had told me then that I would be on a date with him three years later I would have had you committed. A lot has changed since then.

Jesus a lot has changed. TRL sucked now. It had never been as good after Carson left, but now it was just awful. They showed like twenty seconds of the videos. And the videos were stupid. I didn’t like anything that was on except maybe Kelly Clarkson. But that didn’t count. Everyone liked her.

I changed the channel and my cell phone rang. I knew it was Danielle because she had somehow programmed my phone so that when she called me it played an *Nsync song. I would tell you which one, but they all sounded the same to me.

“Hey Danielle.”

“Hey. Look, I was just wondering if we were still going tonight.”

“Of course we are.”

“Won’t it be weird though? I mean two days ago you were on a date with one of them.”

“I know, but we’ll just make sure he doesn’t see us. It’s a big place. And it’s not like we’re front row.”

“Okay fine. I’ll see you later.”

Nick Narrating

This sucked. I wasn’t going to see Haley for like two months. I am bored out of my mind. We just finished another interview, and we were back in our rooms. I was so fucking tired of the same questions. ‘What did you do over the break?’ And most of us didn’t do shit. I know I sat there spending my money, but I couldn’t just say that.

Or ‘why didn’t you change your name to Backstreet Men?’ I swear to God if I have to hear Howie be like “oh, homedog, they’re my boys. Like my homies.” I was gonna fucking flip out. But then if Howie didn’t answer Kevin did and then that was the entire fucking interview because it took him so long to spit out the answer. And a little secret, the reason we didn’t change our name to Backstreet Men is because it sounded fucking stupid!.

And Kevin just got done screaming at me for leaving Incomplete in the hotel room. ‘It’s not the best song we have. Crawling Back to You would have been better you jackass. Blah, blah, blah, dumbfuck, blah, blah, asshole’, well there was more, but I tuned it out. I mean when I had packed the morning we left I had had a fucking hangover. How did you expect me to think when I had a hangover? It was a bitch of a hangover too. So, yeah all things good in Backstreet camp.

I looked at the clock. 2:30. Didn’t I have to be somewhere at 2? Fuck I better go look for everyone else. Maybe the meeting or whatever the fuck I was late for was running on Backstreet time. In that case I was three hours early. You know you would think we’d have outgrown Backstreet time by now. I mean I was the youngest and I was 25. I should be responsible enough to get where I needed to be on time. But everyone who knew me knew that wasn’t going to happen. I mean I didn’t even know what the fuck I was late to.


Haley Narrating

I tried not to worry too much about what I was wearing, but I kept finding myself looking in the mirror. I guess I cared too much what he thought. Oh well, it was all over now. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t see me for two months and by then he’ll have forgotten all about me. Danielle and Melissa were at the door already so I decided to just go. Whatever I looked like, I didn’t care. I wished Jen had been able to come. But she had something going on with her family.

“Come on Haley, let’s go. I know you’re trying to look hot for the blond whore, but we need to go.” Danielle screamed from outside the door. My neighbors must love her.

“I’m coming I screamed as I walked out my door. I was pretty quiet while we walked to the car. I just let Mel and Danielle carry on a conversation about which guy cheerleaders from our gym were gay and which weren’t. Now I was wondering if maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. What if one of them saw us? It was one thing to hide from one person, but hiding from five was hard.

Nick Narrating

I was so not in the mood for performing. All day had been one long bore ass day of promo. I hate performing in a bad mood too. Because then you try and be in a bad mood, but then you start performing and it all goes away. But sometimes I just like to be in my bad mood.

We had finished everything we needed to do before the show, so now we were waiting around for the actual show to start. I was sitting here pissed off while Kevin was busy writing really fast on a piece of paper. It was kind of ironic that he talked so slow, but wrote so fast. Then AJ was trying to make it look like he actually had hair, but it was just impossible. Brian was on the phone with his wife, and Howie was on the phone. I didn’t mind that Howie was on the phone because usually that’s really entertaining because I like to throw things at his back, you know see what gets him to turn around. But then I ran out of paper clips.

I could hear everyone walking in. I so was not in the mood to perform tonight.

Danielle Narrating

So I was walking around outside waiting to be able to go inside. I don’t really know where Haley and Melissa were. I know they had told me, but I hadn’t really listened.

“Miss?” What the fuck? “Miss?” I looked around and saw some guy from a radio station who kept calling me.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“If you can answer one question about the Backstreet Boys you can have three front row seats for tonight.” Should I try and get them? Damn, I wish Haley were here. She would know the answer before I would. Wait, would Haley want them? It would increase the chance that Nick would see her. So she wouldn’t want them. That settles it. I’ll go for it. I probably won’t know the answer. “This is a pretty recent thing they’ve done, so you may not know.”

“Okay.”

“What cheerleading team just won $5,000 from them and gets to do promotion with them now?” You have to be fucking kidding me. Like seriously, how would normal fans know that? Did they have like some website that told you everything you would ever need to know about them? They probably did. And Haley probably went to it.

“Southington Cyclones All-Stars.”

“That’s correct. Here are your tickets.”

“Thank you.” I walked around for a while longer and I saw Haley and Melissa. “Hey, you guys, I just won front row tickets!”

Haley Narrating

Fuck. What if he saw me? Oh, this was bad. Danielle knew I wouldn’t want them too. She did this on purpose! This was ridiculous. We kept running into each other like it was a freaking movie.


“How?” I asked.

“Some radio station guy asked me a question and I got it right.”

“How did you know the answer?”

“The question was what cheerleading team won the sponsorship and everything.” The one question she would know was the question they had to ask.

“Guys, I’m gonna go get some food. I’ll be right back.” I just had to get away from them for like thirty seconds. Danielle kept giving me that look like, yeah I totally did this for you even though you didn’t want me to.

Melissa Narrating

“Danielle, you knew Haley wouldn’t want those tickets.”

“Yes I did.”

“So good job. I would have totally done the same thing.”

“She needs to deal with this, and unless we make her she won’t.”

“You’re totally right. Good move.” At that moment Haley came back. She of course had no food. She just needed to get away from us.

“We should go in now.” Haley decided. We all followed her in. We went to our seats, and they were really close. And when I say close I mean like three feet away from the damn stage. He was definitely gonna see Haley.

Nick Narrating

We went to go onstage and I was still in a bad mood. I just didn’t feel like doing this. We started to walk on stage with all the smoke and shit. Then I distinctly heard someone yell Howie’s so hot! That’s just not something you hear a lot, so I had to laugh.

We went through a couple songs before I could really see the audience. I was surprised I could see anyone. Usually all the lights prevented me from really seeing people. I looked at the audience while AJ sang his part and I saw someone I thought I knew. The chorus came and I started singing but I kept trying to figure out who it was.

I kept looking for three songs, and then it struck me. It was Haley. And Danielle and Melissa were with her. Holy shit. Why didn’t she tell me she was coming? I never even thought that she might possibly be here. Holy shit.

Haley Narrating

I couldn’t believe I had come. I should have stayed home. At the first costume change I got a text message. I figured it was Jen since she was the only other person that called me, but she knew we wouldn’t be able to hear. I opened my phone and saw that it was from a number I didn’t recognize. I figured it was one of those ads, so I’d read it and delete it. I read it, but it wasn’t an add.

Danielle yanked it out of my hand, probably after seeing the expression on my face. She read it out loud so Mel could hear it too. “U should’ve told me u were coming. Stay there after the show and I’ll send my security guard 2 come get u. nick.”

“Well, you’re totally staying.” Melissa said. “I don’t care if I have to go get duct tape and tape your fucking feet to the ground you’re staying.”

“Definitely.”

“But he just wants sex!” I said.

“Then go back there and fuck his brains out!” Danielle had a lovely way of putting things.

After the show, Nick Narrating

As soon as the show ended I sent my security guard out to get Haley. I really hoped she got the message. And I really hoped she had stayed. A few minutes later my security walked in and Haley was behind him. Good. Then my security guard walked out.

“Hey.” I said. Very original, I know, but there’s no hand book on what to say after a date where you got chased by screaming girls.

“Hey,” she said.

“So, you couldn’t get enough of me so you came to the show?”

“I didn’t know that was going to happen when we made the plans to come. And then you know, why not?”

“No, you just couldn’t resist me.” She laughed. I loved it when she laughed.

“You’re right. I just couldn’t stand not being around you.” Was it bad that it was actually true in my case?

“I’m really sorry about the whole fans chasing us incident.”

“It’s okay. Seriously. I don’t care.” I hoped she wasn’t lying.

“Good, because I had a lot of fun. Maybe we could do it again sometime.”

“Sure. I’d love to.”

“Good, and maybe this time we can avoid the whole chase scene.”

“That might be a little better.” We just kinda stood there for a while. Why did I have nothing to say to her? Then she said something. “So is that all or was there something else?”

“No, that was all.” Shit. I should’ve said there was something else. But then I’d just have to make something up because the only other thing I could think of was sex in that chair in the corner.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah.” She started to walk out of the room, but all of a sudden my mouth was talking, but I didn’t really know what it was saying. “Haley wait. There is one more thing.” I walked over to her and looked at her for a second. Then I decided to hell with it. I leaned in and I kissed her. And I don’t mean a little bit. I mean I really kissed her.

At first she was surprised, but after a second she kissed me back. It was amazing. I had waited so long and it was like better than anything. I pulled away before I started to get too turned on.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” I said.

“Well, since you’ve only known me for eleven days, I would guess about eleven days.”

“Maybe you do know.” I kissed her again, only this time I knew she’d kiss me back. I knew she wouldn’t run screaming out the door like I was afraid she might do last time. I don’t know what I would have done if she had, because it seems that until I have sex with her there’s going to be this thing where, well, I really wanna have sex with her. Although it may only get worse after we do have sex. But, I don’t think it can get worse than getting hard every thirty seconds when I’m around her.

“Wow.” She said. Yeah, that was kinda my reaction too.

“I don’t wanna wait two months to see you again.”

“Me neither.”

“Then, do you want me to call you?”

”Okay.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I kissed her again. I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Once again, not a good thing, but we all knew I couldn't control myself.

CHAPTER 10

Nick Narrating

“Nick,” Brian began, “we would like to invite Haley out to dinner. All four of us will be there.”

“Okay. Can I ask why?”

“We just want to really meet her.”

“You’ve already met her!”

“We would like to get to know her better.”

“Oh. I get it. You want to make sure she’s not like Paris.”

“It’s not that. It’s just-”

“No, that’s exactly what it is. Don’t you guys trust me?” I hated when they didn’t trust me.

“Well, yes, but last time we did you ended up,”

“With Paris. Yeah, I get it. She’s gonna hate this you know. And if Kevin starts interrogating her I swear we’re walking out.”

“He won’t. I’ll make sure he doesn’t. And if he does you have my permission to walk out.”

“Fine. But AJ can’t hit on her either.”

“That I have no control over.” At that exact moment AJ walked in.

“What do you have no control over?” he asked.

“Whether or not you hit on Haley Sunday night.” Brian said.

“Hey,” AJ answered, “I cannot control the beast inside me.” If I hadn’t known he was kidding I would have done a lot more than just kinda shoving him into the wall like I did.

Haley Narrating

My phone rang at six that night. I answered it not really caring who it was.

”Hello?”

“Hi, Haley. It’s Nick.” Shit.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Well, basically the guys don’t trust me, so on Sunday night they were wondering if you could come out to dinner with us on Sunday.”

“Uh, I guess. Where?”

“That’s the thing. We’re in Pennsylvania.” So I had to go to Pennsylvania. Okay. I could deal with that.

“Okay. I can drive down tomorrow and stay with my cousin. He won’t care. Where though?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay.”

“Haley?”

“Yeah?”

“Just so you know, this isn’t because of you. The guys just want to get to know you better because they don’t trust me to make good choices about stuff like this.”

“Okay. And to tell you the truth, from what I’ve heard I wouldn’t trust you either. So don’t be mad at them.”

“How did you know I was mad?”

“I just kind of assumed you were.”

“You know me pretty well don’t you?”

“I just understand people.”

“Well, I’ll tell the guys you’re coming.”

“Okay.”

“Wait. You know when I say the guys I mean like AJ, Brian, Howie, and Kevin right?”

“Really? Because I thought you meant all your boy toys.”

“Very funny.”

“I thought so.”


Nick Narrating

I waked out of the car and up to the door. I really hoped that this was the right house. I suddenly had visions of creepy naked old men answering the door. But then the door opened, and it was Haley.

“You are definitely not a creepy old man.” She looked at me funny. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn.” I really have to think about the things that I say out loud and the things I just think to myself. I was bad at that.

“Ready to go?” she asked me. That probably would have been a good thing for me to say.

“Yeah.”


Brian Narrating

“Kevin,” I asked, “do you think this whole dinner is a bad idea?”

“Why?”

“What if it shows that we don’t trust Nick?”

“We don’t. Not with girls. Remember last time we trusted him he came back with,”

“Paris. I know.”

“Well, I was going to say bitchy whore on wheels, but yeah.” Then AJ walked in.

“You guys talking about Paris?”

“How did you know?” Kevin asked.

“You said bitchy whore on wheels.”

“But how did you know we meant-”

“Once again, they’re synonymous. God Kev, buy a thesaurus. Although there’s lots of names you could put under Paris. Like, club hopping slutt for instance.”

“Or,” Kevin started, “cock sucking porn star.”

“Nice. My favorite would have to be man hopping, cock sucking, skanky porn star.”

“Oh that’s good. Maybe, man hopping, cock sucking, skanky, threesome loving, porn star.”

“Yeah, I can’t top that one.” As they said that Howie walked in.

“You guys talking about Paris?” he asked.

“See Kev,” AJ said, “even D’s got the thesaurus.”

“Seriously guys,” Kevin started, “why did he stay with her that long?”

“Well,” I answered, “the first four months he did like her, and then the last three were for sex.”

“She was an animal in bed.” AJ said.

“How do you know?” Kevin asked.

“Dude, internet, sex tape, Paris Hilton. I am buying you a thesaurus for Christmas.”

“You downloaded it?”

”Didn’t you?” He was quiet after that. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“I deleted it though!” I loved when AJ made Kevin uncomfortable. I knew I should come to his defense, but it was more fun to just let it play out. “Didn’t you?” Oh, now it was getting interesting. Kevin turned that one right back around on AJ. That was not something you saw very often.

“Of course I deleted it.”

“No you didn’t. You suck at lying AJ. You do that thing where you like flutter your eyelashes like a little girl. Go delete it now.”

“Fine.”

AJ Narrating

I walked over to my computer and dragged the file into the recycle bin. Here’s where I was smart though. I didn’t delete it from the recycle bin. That way, after Kevin was gone I could drag it back. I know you think I’m a loser, but I don’t have a girlfriend now, so what do you want me to do? And that night vision was hot. Besides Kevin did not think I wore anything from that whole drawer of really high socks. Carter might wear those, but Carter was a dumbass.

We went outside and piled into the car we had waiting. Brian was driving. Tell me again why we didn’t have someone drive us? Oh yeah. We didn’t want to intimidate Haley. Brian started the car, but the engine just sputtered and died. He tried three more times, but the car still didn’t work. We all got out.

“What are we going to do?” I wanted to know.

“We could call a cab.” Kevin suggested.

“Does anyone have any cash?” Howie wanted to know. Of course we didn’t. Four Backstreet Boys. Between the four of us you’d think we’d be able to scrounge up enough cash for a fucking cab ride.

“What if we called one of our drivers?” Brian asked. That was actually a good idea. Leave it to Howie to whip out his phone and call everyone he knew. We stood there for a full fifteen minutes while Howie tried to get someone to come pick us up. He had no luck.

“So what do we do?” I asked. God I sounded like Nick. Whining about what we were going to do. It was kinda fun to be the whining one and not the one yelling at the whining one. Maybe I should start whining. Yeah, that’ll show Carter’s ass.

“Our reservations are in twenty minutes. What if we walk?” Kevin had the craziest ideas sometimes.




I couldn’t believe we were fucking walking. Why did we agree to this again? It was a long walk. And I had already been yelled at for whining twice. “Guys,” I said, “this sucks. Why didn’t we just cancel?”

“First of all,” Kevin said, “you sound like Nick. We cannot cancel. Haley drove all the way from Massachusetts so we could do this. So pull your head out of your ass and quit whining.” Make that three times.

“Guys,” now Howie was whining, but did he get yelled at no. Damn, it sucked to be the whiny one. I gotta hand it to Nick. Getting yelled at for whining sucks. “I have a pebble in my shoe.”

“Oh, man D. That’s terrible.” Are you serious? That’s what Kevin said to Howie when he whined, but I got told to pull my head out of my ass? That is so not fair.

“We should have just had Haley come to some restaurant closer to us.” Now Brian was complaining. And then Kevin picked up a stick. A really long stick.

“Why the hell do you have a stick?” I asked. “Are you gonna beat me with it? Is that your master plan?”

“No dumbass. It’s a walking stick.”

“A what?”

“A walking-”

“No, no. I know what you said. It just sounded so hysterical I had to hear it again. A walking stick. That is priceless. Wait until I tell Carter that you’re so old you needed a walking stick to get the mile and a half to the restaurant. That is going to provide hours of entertainment. I mean hours. It may even top the time you fell off the bike in the Anywhere for You video shoot. So, if it does, that means we’ll still be talking about it approximately nine years from now. And as soon as Baylee’s old enough to understand Rok can tell him all about when his Uncle Kevin needed a walking stick. Okay, I think I’m done now.” That was fun. “No wait. One more thing. Now I can just buy you a thesaurus and a cane for Christmas and I know you’ll be able to bash Paris just as well as I can, and I’ll never have to worry about you falling down and hurting your pretty little head.”

“You know AJ, that beating you with the stick is looking better and better. Maybe we should all get walking sticks and all beat you. How would you like that?”

“Guys calm down.” Once again Howie was trying to avoid an argument. We walked for another ten minutes before we finally got to the restaurant. My feet were killing me, and everyone had been complaining. Of course I was the only one who got yelled at.

We walked into the restaurant and had to ask the hostess where Nick and Haley were. At least Nick would look like the responsible one since we were late.

“Hey,” he said, “where have you guys been?”

“Our car wouldn’t start, and we tried everything but we couldn’t get a car-”

I cut him off. “So Kevin made us fucking walk. Hello Haley by the way.”

“Hi.” She said.

“You know,” Nick said, “you could have just called me. We could have come and gotten you.”

Damn when Carter was the only one thinking straight we were in trouble.

CHAPTER 11

Kevin Narrating

Nick picking us up would have been a lot smarter than walking. I can’t believe we didn’t think of that. I can’t believe Nick did think of it. Since when is he the sensible one?

“Hi Haley.” I said. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Hi.” She said. We sat down around the table and waited for the waiter to come so we could order our drinks.

“Well, Haley,” AJ started, “I’m sure normally Kevin would start with his interrogation now, but he’s probably parched since he had the brilliant idea to walk here. So you can relax until we get our drinks.”

“Okay. Sounds good.” I hadn’t been planning on interrogating her. It may have sort of come off that way, but I just wanted to ask a few questions. We got our drinks and I began the “interrogation.”

“So, where did you go to college?”

“Penn State.” She answered. Okay. Now what do I ask? I could pretty much tell everything I needed to know about her just by looking at her. She wasn’t a tramp, and I already knew she had been valedictorian. That pretty much answered all my questions.

“That’s a good school.” Next we ordered our food and Haley seemed to catch on to the fact that I had no idea what to say.

”Look,” she said, “I’m not a psycho whore, and I’m not planning on getting him into trouble. Okay?” Well, that was direct.

“Psycho whore,” AJ said, “that’s a new one. I assume you’re referring to one of Nicky’s prior girlfriends.”

“Yeah.”

Haley Narrating

Holy shit. What the fuck was she doing in Pennsylvania? Visiting one of her fuck buddies I guess. She can’t be here.

“Excuse me,” I said, “I need to go to um, the bathroom.” I practically ran there as fast as I could. Kevin could not see her, and come to think of it, neither could the other ones. What do I do? I have to get them out of here before they see her. Okay, calm down. I’ll call one of them and get them to make us all leave. Okay couldn’t call Nick obviously, and AJ would yell out something inappropriate, and the only other number I had was Brian’s.

I called him and prayed that he would answer. I looked out the bathroom door and saw him walk into a corner. “Brian? It’s Haley, but no one can know it’s me.”

“Okay, why?”

“Look, I don’t know why, but Paris Hilton is here. I saw her come in. You have to get Kevin out of here before he’s arrested for murder.”

“Shit. Why is she here? What could possibly be in Pennsylvania?”

“I’m sure she’s visiting one of her special friends.”

“You’re probably right. Okay, I’ll pretend that Leigh just called me and Baylee’s sick, but since we only have one car we all have to leave.”

“Fine. Just get them out of here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I hung up the phone and started to leave as Paris fucking Hilton walked in. I figured I’d just ignore her, but she actually talked to me.

“Why are you with them? What did you lose a bet?”

“No, why are you here? Visiting one of your ‘friends’?” At that exact moment some guy walked in with his shirt already off.

She turned to him and started talking in that sweet little voice of hers that made normal people want to jump off a bridge. “Oh, hi gorgeous. Can you come back in like two seconds. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay.” He said.

“Thanks sexy.” She turned back to me.

“I’m surprised you could control yourself. I thought you’d be all over him.”

“I don’t like people to watch.”

“You blew that a long time ago.”

“Seriously why are you here? Let me think, blond, skinny, you’re with Nick right?”

“None of your business. So if you could just let me out of here,”

“So they’ve already turned you against me huh? I’d just like to tell you, he dumped me okay? He’s a jackass and as soon as he gets bored with you, he’ll dump you too.”

“First of all, they didn’t turn you against me. You did that all by yourself.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know. And I plan to keep it that way.”

“Well, I was just warning you. He’s going to dump you.”

“Really, because the way I hear it, your psychic told you to dump him, and then you begged him to take you back. Which he did.”

“And then he dumped me.”

“Well, let’s see. At the beginning of your relationship you brought him a birthday cake with your face on it. And camera crews.”

“Who wouldn’t want to eat my face?”

“Normal people who know what’s good for them.”

“Nick liked it. Maybe you should try something like that so he stays with you longer.”

“Oh, so you want me to interrupt him during an important meeting and bring him a birthday cake and camera crews.”

“I don’t care what you do. I’m just trying to help.”

“Look, I don’t need your help with relationships. Besides, there is one major thing I’m not going to do. I’m not going to cheat on him. Maybe you should have tried that.”

“He cheated on me too.”

“Before or after you cheated on him?”

“That’s not important.”

“Um, yeah, it really is important. Listen to me. You’re a whore. It’s just who you are. So quit trying to deny it, shut up and quit being jealous of the people who are with you r ex-boyfriends, especially when you’re the one that fucked the relationship up in the first place!” Wow, now I was screaming at Paris Hilton.

“You should not be yelling at me!”

“Why not?”

“Because,”

“Because what? Are you going to have me arrested? Do you want me to tell people about what you, or should I say who you were planning on doing in the bathroom? And don’t forget most places have security cameras in their bathrooms, so that would be caught on tape. But I guess you’re used to that right? Why not a little more publicity!” With that I pushed her aside and walked out like nothing had happened.

I walked over to the table where we had been sitting. They had already paid and were waiting for me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Brian needs to get home because Baylee’s sick, and since we only have one car we’re all leaving.” Nick answered.

“Okay.” I looked at Brian. I guess everyone believed the plan. We started walking to the car, and AJ started walking so he didn’t step on any of the cracks in the driveway of the restaurant. Then of course Nick thought it would be fun so he started doing that too. How old was he again?

Brian came up to me and I asked, “Did everyone believe it?”

“Yeah. We should probably hurry them along. Maybe we should convince them that stepping on the cracks won’t break their mothers’ backs.”

“No, we’re good. Paris is in the bathroom having sex with someone form her table.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. She came into the bathroom. Then she started bitching me out because I was with Nick.”

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. That should not be something that anyone has to go through. No one should ever have to suffer by being in her presence.”

“Thanks.”

“You know what was so bad with her? She would never admit to anything she did wrong. We’d confront her, but she’d deny it.”

“Well, I did get her to admit to cheating on him.”

“Really. Nick never mentioned that.”

“Really?”

“No. I mean we all knew she did. And we all figured he probably did too after he found out, but he never came out and said that.”

With that we looked over at Nick and AJ both of whom were still avoiding cracks. We even heard them fighting over which one hit a crack.

“No AJ, you hit that crack! I missed it by a freaking mile!”

“Dammit Nick, you stepped on it.”

“No I didn’t. Oooh, bricks. Those have more cracks.”

“Yeah, let’s go jump on those. First person who steps on a crack buys the other one something expensive.”

That was mature. Good to know I’d fallen for someone with a good head on his shoulders. Eventually we made it to the car and all six of us piled in. We didn’t really fit, but that was the least of our problems since now Nick and AJ were complaining that they didn’t get to finish their brick jumping. Yes, they called it brick jumping. They were 25 and 27 years old, but they were still brick jumping.

Howie Narrating

We got into the car and my phone rang, so I answered it even though I didn’t think I’d be able to hear over Nick and AJ’s whining. Since when did we have two whiny ones? I thought the rule of boy bands was that you have the sweet one, the responsible one, the cute one, the bad boy, and the whiny one. What happened to our bad boy?

I started talking about a business deal with my brother when I felt something hit the back of my head. I turned around to see Nick throwing pieces of bread crust at me.

“Hey, Brian,” Nick said, “we’re going to have to add bread crust to the list of stuff that make Howie turn around!”

They had a list? That was crazy. Not surprising, but totally crazy. “How the hell did you get bread crust?” I asked.

“I stole it to throw at you while you were on the phone. Or sleeping.”

“How did you know I’d be on the phone or sleeping?”

“Dude, that’s all you do. Ever.” He had a point there. I usually was always on the phone or sleeping. And come to think of it Nick was usually throwing things at me. I guess there were some things he would never grow out of.


Nick Narrating

We dropped Haley off at her cousin’s house and then drove to our hotel. We all went into the lobby and Brian went up to his room. Howie and Kevin said they were going to bed, so that left me and AJ.

“You know Nick you never really told me what happened on the date.”

“It was horrible.”

“Let’s go upstairs and talk about it.”

We walked into my room and turned on the TV. I didn’t really want to tell AJ what happened because I knew he’d make fun of me.

“I’m not planning on making fun of you Nick.” I turned off the TV. He really wanted to know what happened on that date.

“Well, first we planned on going to lunch, but I couldn’t think of one intelligent thing to say on the way there so she decided that we should do something else. So we got the driver to go check on the reservations and Haley drove off and we left him there.”

“You left the driver there?”

“Well, we got someone to come pick him up.”

“Oh, I’m sure that driver can’t wait to drive you again.”

“Hey, it’s better than having sex in the limo right? Like those times with Paris.”

“No actually. I’m sure the driver enjoyed you two having sex. He probably didn’t need to rent any porn that night.”

“Aren’t those things soundproof?”

“They say they are, but can’t you always hear the radio when they turn it on even when the divider is up?”

“Oh fuck. Then there have been a lot of drivers that have heard me having sex.”

“That’s very nice. Great image in my mind. Thank you.”

“Anyway, then Haley rented Bring it On and we watched it in the limo.”

“Wait. You watched Bring it On?”

“Yes. And you know what, it wasn’t that bad.”

”You only didn’t mind it because Haley was sitting next to you.”

“That may have been part of it. But then, they started talking about cheer sex, and I asked Haley if she’d ever have cheer sex with me.”

“What did she say?”

“She said you never know.”

“So then I asked what about real sex.”

“You asked her to have sex with you? Are you crazy. She wouldn’t do that on the first date. Why would you say that?”

“I didn’t mean to. I thought I was just thinking it, but I guess I actually said it.”

“Are you serious? You didn’t know you were speaking? Do you not think enough that you don’t know what it sounds like?”

“She just kind of rolled her eyes at me.”

“You’re lucky she didn’t smack you and walk out.”

“I know. So then we returned the movie and we went to get ice cream. So we got the ice cream, but then these girls walked in and they recognized me. So I grabbed Haley and ran.”

“Why didn’t you just like sign something or whatever.”

“Looking back, that was probably the smarter thing to do. I was trying to blend in so Haley wouldn’t have to deal with fans on the first date.”

“So your idea of blending in is driving a limo to an ice cream parlor, and then running away when someone recognized you? Smooth Carter.”

“Just wait. It gets worse. So then while we’re being chased by the girls-”

“You got chased?”

“I told you it was a disaster. So then one of the girls screams that she worked for a magazine. So we kept running for a little while. Eventually we lost them and we went back to the limo. That’s when I realized I was late for the show and Haley had to drive me there. Oh, shit I forgot to have the limo picked up. And she specifically told me not to forget too.” Damn. Oh well, I could do it tomorrow.

“So basically, the date starts with you ditching your original plans. Then you end up asking her to have sex with you, then you got chased by screaming girls, and finally it ended with you being late to the show that she had to drive you to.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” AJ just started laughing. “Why are you laughing at me? I didn’t want that to happen. Shut up!”

“I’m sorry man, but that is just too funny. That date is so going to come up in interviews now.”

CHAPTER 12

Nick Narrating

It was April 14th and we were all in Georgia. I hadn’t seen Haley since dinner. I mean sure I called her, but I couldn’t do that too much because then I just had to go take a cold shower. And when I say cold I mean like 35 degrees. And even that didn’t always work.

I don’t know why, but every time I thought about her I had this overwhelming urge to well, have sex. That was very different than the overwhelming urge to poke my eyes out like when I was with Paris. Don’t get me wrong that was good sex, I mean, why else would I stay with her for that long, but still.

I knew Haley’s birthday was tomorrow, but I didn’t know what to get her. I had thought about every possibility, but I couldn’t find one that seemed good enough. It was only 9:15. I could call her.

Haley Narrating

My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. It was the number I’d just recently memorized as Nick’s.

“Hey.” I said.

“Happy almost birthday!” he said. I didn’t think he’d remember.

“Thanks.”

“So, I was just bored, and I hadn’t talked to you in a while.”

“Nick, you called me at three and seven o’clock tonight.”

“Well, still. It seemed like a while.” He always knew what to say to things like that didn’t he?

“I’m glad I could keep you occupied.”

“You’d be able to do a much better job of that if you were here. I could think of a million things we could do.”

“Really. Like what?”

“Sex.”

“Well, at least your honest.”

“So, I was just wondering, when am I gonna see you again?”

“I don’t know. When do your shows end?”

“The 18th. When is your cheerleading over?”

“Our last competition is the 17th.”

“Where is it?”

“Disney World.”

“Cool. Maybe I could come see you after that or something.”

“Sure. I’d love that.”

Nick Narrating

Good. I’d love it more though. “So, would you have sex with me then?”

“Maybe.” Did I say that out loud too? Jesus I had to learn what it sounded like to think. So, is maybe a yes or a no? That time I know I was thinking, not talking. Except that I really wanna know.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“I don’t know. You’ll just have to use your Carter charm and get me to fall for you.”

“Trust me, I will.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Okay, so she wasn’t ruling out sex. She said I’d have to use the Carter charm. The only problem was the Carter charm didn’t seem to work with her. I usually ended up saying something I thought I was only thinking. I had to stop that. Maybe after we had sex I’d be able to stop.


Haley Narrating

Last night I had a great birthday party. In Disney World! Our competition was today and tomorrow. I was so nervous. We hadn’t been able to stay up too late because we had to wake up really early this morning. We competed pretty early. We got done at like four, so we’d be able to be in the parks the rest of the night.




Our competition went fairly well. We could have done better with a lot of our tumbling, so we were hoping to improve that tomorrow. We showered and everything as fast as we could and we were waiting for a bus to get to MGM by 5:30. I couldn’t wait to ride the Tower of Terror.

We got on the bus and Danielle immediately started dancing to ring tones on her phone. She was in a very good mood today.

Nick Narrating

Our show was over and me, AJ, and Brian decided to do something together. None of us felt like going out, but the only thing we could think of to do in our hotel was play a board game. We knew we had a few on our bus, we just didn’t know which ones. So the three of us snuck out of the hotel and snuck out to our tour bus. Now you understand nobody thought to get the keys, so we couldn’t open the door.

“That window’s open.” Brian said. It was open, but it was too high for any of us to reach. Unless…





AJ Narrating

I was standing on Nick’s fucking shoulders trying to get into the fucking bus. And no, we couldn’t just walk back inside and get the keys. That would be too easy. “Why do I have to crawl through the fucking window?” I asked.

“Because you’re the skinny one.” Nick screamed. Damn my tiny ass and chicken legs. “And hurry up. You’re getting heavy.”

“Fuck off Carter.”

“Do you wanna be on the ground jackass?”

“I’m gonna be if you don’t quit moving. I know I turn you on, but squirming isn’t going to help you!”

“I’d quit moving if you could get your tiny ass through the window.”

“My head would be through if you’d quit moving!” Eventually dumbass Carter stopped moving around long enough for me to crawl through the window. I walked over to the door and opened it for them to get in.

“Finally Bone. Took you long enough.”

“Fuck off Carter. You didn’t just stand on your shoulders. And by the way, while I was climbing up I noticed a little something.” I walked them over to Nick’s bunk. I showed them the under side of it. There was a row of what had to be like thirty condoms taped to the top. “Do you plan on having sex with the other four of us on the bus? Because I really don’t need to hear that. I’ll leave that for the limo drivers.”

“Shut up. There’s a big bathroom and the bus makes a lot of noise. You didn’t know the last time I-”

“You’ve has sex on this bus? While I was on it? When?”

“When we were driving to Chicago.”

“Ah, ah, horrible images in my mind. Please don’t ever have sex while I am like two feet away ever again.”

“Well,”

“Jesus Carter, I didn’t know I turned you on that much. I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me in the bathroom!”

“Shut up. I didn’t plan it.”

“Well you’re obviously planning future adventures.” I said gesturing towards the row of condoms taped on the ceiling of his bunk.

“Those are just in case there’s someone who just can’t resist my charm.” Yeah, he was thinking about Haley. I could see it.

“Why did you look at me when you said that?” I wanted to know.

“I didn’t. I was actually looking at Brian.”

“He’s married dude. Give up the dream. So seriously, who was it with?”

“Shauna.”

“Our publicist Shauna?!” He nodded his head. “She’s like forty!”

“What can I say? I’m irresistible to women of all ages.”

“You guys,” Brian said, “can we please just get a board game?” Oh yeah. In all the talk about sex I had forgotten all about that. I think Nick had too. Except sex usually did make him lose his train of thought.

We looked at the board games. There were only two. Monopoly and Yahtzee. “I say Monopoly.” Brian said. Me and Nick agreed and we carried it into the hotel. It wasn’t until we were almost on the elevator that we realized there was a huge hole in the box. Then we looked back the way we came and saw a huge trail of Monopoly pieces. There were a few pieces of money, the boat, the boot, and houses all over the place.

“Shit.” We all muttered at the same time. All three of us started running back to pick up the pieces. I was still holding the box too. So here we are, three grown men picking up Monopoly pieces at 11:00 at night in a hotel lobby. Then we looked outside and there was a trail of paper money all the way to the bus.

And then there was wind. A lot of wind. So I got the pleasure of watching Nick and Brian chase the money in the wind like their lives depended on it. Nick was actually jumping to catch some too. Who’s idea was it to play a board game again?

They finally decided they had caught all the money they could and we walked back inside. This time I was careful to not let anything else fall out of the box. We successfully got all the way up to my room, and we even got the game set up before we started arguing again.

“I wanna be the boot!” Nick yelled. “That way I can shove my foot up your ass when you piss me off.”

“You’d like to shove something else up my ass wouldn’t you Nicky?” He walked right into that one. “You be the dog. You like it doggy style.” I finally convinced him to be the dog after describing him doing Haley doggy style. He apparently liked that image. So I got to be the boot and Brian chose the racecar.

That was fucking pathetic. The three of us just chased paper money down the street and then we fought over who got to be the boot.

Haley Narrating

We had a great time at the parks. I loved when we were there right until the park closed and then you had to practically knock people over to get on the buses. We always got one of the first busses because if Jess was with us she just flirted her way to the front of the line, or if Danielle was with us she just knocked people over. So it was basically a win win.

I loved everything about Disney World. They paid so much attention to detail, and while you were there you could forget about everything else. I never thought about work or anything else in my real life while I was there. That was why I hated leaving. Sometimes I just couldn’t face going back to reality after being in Disney World. I mean if you had to choose between working everyday and Mickey Mouse who would you pick? You would pick fucking Mickey Mouse!

Nick Narrating

“Dammit AJ, give me Park Place!”

“No! You have Boardwalk and if you get Park Place you’ll have a Monopoly! Then I’m totally fucked if you put houses on it!”

“AJ I have literally twelve dollars. I can’t even afford to put houses on the shitty purple properties! Now fucking give me Park fucking Place!!!”

“NO! I don’t wanna!”

Haley Narrating

When we got back to our hotel we went straight for the food court. We had this tradition where we got popcorn every night we were there and then ate it while we made fun of the shows on the Disney channel. All four of us were staying in a room together. It sounded stupid, but that was another thing I loved about Disney world. You could stay in the smallest room, with twelve other people, but since you were hardly ever in the room it didn’t matter.

We got back to our room and started watching Disney shows. Obviously they didn’t hold our attention for very long, so we started talking about random things. As they were talking about something completely stupid I noticed something in the bedspread. There were a bunch of Mickey heads hidden in it!

“You guys look! There’s Mickey’s in the bedspread!” I screamed. So then of course we spent the next hour finding every single one of them in the entire room. That was probably going to be another tradition.

Brian Narrating

That was probably the most fun I’d had in a really long time. Nick finally convinced AJ to give him Park Place since he didn’t have any money to put houses on it. Turns out that Nick had been hiding almost two thousand dollars under the game board so he put hotels on it right away. Basically because of that, Nick won the entire game.

Now, you understand the game lasted over four hours, so it was 3:30 in the morning. And I could still hear Nick screaming about his victory as I walked to my room. He wasn’t a good winner, and AJ wasn’t a good loser, so I made sure I left before they had another argument.

I do have to say doing stupid shit like that with Nick and AJ made everything worth it. That’s why we did this. That’s why we put up with everything. It was so we could be playing Monopoly at three o’clock in the morning.

CHAPTER 13

Nick Narrating

I looked up at the screen and saw that my flight was delayed. Wonderful. That is definitely the way I wanted to start the trip. I hated rain. Why did it always rain when you didn’t want it to? Like when you’re in a bad mood it’s always bright and sunny, but when you’re looking forward to a trip or something (like say to Massachusetts) it always rains.

Haley Narrating

Danielle was really pissed that our flight was delayed. I guess it was raining or there was a lot of fog in Massachusetts or something. I hated it when it rained. I hate leaving Disney World, and then you find out your flight’s delayed and you could have stayed longer it totally sucks.

“Can’t we just fly to like New Jersey or something?” Danielle asked.

“And just walk back to the airport in Massachusetts and get the car?” I said.

“Yeah. That would be fine.”

“Ugh, this totally sucks!” Melissa practically screamed. “We should have just stayed another night!”

“I know.” I said. “What could we possibly do in an airport for two hours until our plane takes off?”

“I have an idea.” Danielle said. “Come on.”

“No.” I said. “You’re plans never work out. Remember last time you made a plan? We all ended up locked in a high school bathroom for the entire night.”

“Well, at least there were toilets. But no, seriously Haley. This will be fun. Lighten up. Do something fun for once in your life.”

Nick Narrating

So I had just over an hour to kill in the middle of a fucking airport. I spotted a gift shop out of the corner of me eye. Maybe I could buy a newspaper or something. Brian seemed interested in it when I was trying to get his help with Haley. Maybe I’d like to read it. Was it bad that I’d never read a newspaper?

I walked in, but instead of getting a newspaper one of the magazines caught my eye. The headline was “Backstreet Boys sponsor cheerleading”. Normally I don’t buy the magazines we were in, but I flipped through it and saw a picture of Haley’s team. That meant a picture of Haley. So, being the obsessed loser that I am I bought the damn magazine. It was a good picture too. Suddenly I had to get to the bathroom really fast.

Haley Narrating

So we were playing truth or dare while we waited for our plane. I guess I didn’t realize that we were still twelve years old.

“So,” Danielle said, “if you pick truth and we know you’re lying you have to do a dare anyway, and if you pick dare, you have to do a dare obviously. So Haley, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” At least then I wouldn’t have to do any of Danielle’s sick and twisted ideas of a funny dare.

“Okay, do you like Nick?”

“No.” That was probably one of the biggest lies I had ever told. They were totally going to call me on that one.

“Okay, so your dare is to go,”

“Why do I have to do a dare?”

“Because you’re totally lying. You saying you don’t like Nick would be like Jess saying she wasn’t slutty. Just obviously a lie. Now, your dare is to go flirt with that guy over there reading the newspaper until he asks you to go with him to the bathroom. We’ll be sitting right over here, so we’ll know what he really says.”

“But he’s like sixteen! He weighs about eighty pounds and he has acne.”

“Shut up and go.” My friends are so mean. I walked over and sat down in the chair next to him.

“So,” I asked him, “do you have a girlfriend?”

“No.” What a surprise. “Well, then I think today is your lucky day.” At that moment I saw Jess walking by. I was going to modify the dare a little. “See that girl over there?” I motioned to Jess. He nodded. “Well, she thinks you’re totally hot, but she’s too shy to tell her yourself. So, I’m going to go over there and you just meet her in that bathroom in like thirty seconds okay? She’s gonna rock your world.”

He jumped out of his chair and ran into the bathroom. Okay, now I had to convince Jess to go in there. I went over to Jess and explained that there was someone waiting for her.

“I can’t go see him.” She said. “I’m saving myself for AJ.”

“Jess, you lost your virginity when you were fourteen. You’re not saving yourself for anyone. And you had sex last night with the lifeguard from the hotel pool. Now look, if you go in there,”

“Is this the guy you were talking to like thirty seconds ago?”

“Yeah.”

“No way. Eww!.”

“If you go in there, I’ll try and convince AJ to sleep with you.” I wouldn’t but she didn’t have to know that. “And you know how persuasive I can be.”

“Okay, fine.” I didn’t think it would be that easy to convince her. I watched her walk into the bathroom.

Danielle came over to me. “Well,” she said, “you totally blew off the dare, but you screwed Jess in the process, so great job.”

“Thank you.”

Nick Narrating

I was finally on the plane, but it would be another like three hours before I was finally at her house. I didn’t know what I was going to say when I got there, but hopefully I could figure that out on the plane.

I was so nervous that she’d freak out about me just showing up without telling her that I’d actually almost not gotten on the plane. I knew she liked me. I mean no one can kiss like that and not mean it, but still. What if she’d gotten over me? Then we’d never have sex and I’d be hard for the rest of my life.

We took off and I was still trying to figure out what to say. What if she had plans or something? Fuck. I should have told her I was coming. Oh well, I guess when I got to her house I’d find out. Shit. I didn’t know where she lived!

Haley Narrating

We were finally driving home. It had been such a long day I decided I was just going to go home, take a shower, and go to bed. I hated flying. It always made me so tired.

“So, Jess,” I asked, “did you have sex with that kid in the bathroom?”

“Yep. Four times.”

“WHAT? WHY?” I didn’t think she’d actually have sex with him! I had just thought she would make out with him a little. “Was he that good?”

“He was by the fourth time. I taught him everything he knows.”

“You gave him sex lessons in the bathroom of an airport?”

“Only one. The other lessons were in the bathroom on the plane.”

“You had sex on the plane?”

“Yeah. It’s no big deal. It’s not like it’s the first time I’d done it on a plane.”

“When was the first time you had sex on a plane?”

“When we went to California a couple years ago for a competition.”

“When we went to California you were sixteen!” She was even slutty then. Maybe she really was born that way.

“Who was it with?” Danielle wanted to know.

“You know that guy Mark that used to cheer with us?”

“It was him?” Danielle said, “Well, I guess he’s not gay.”

“Oh, he is now.” Said Jess.

“Since when?” Melissa asked.

“After we had sex.”

“You turned him gay?”

“No, he was trying to decide whether he was gay or not, so he decided he needed to have sex with someone to decide, and I was sitting next to him on the plane, so”

“You volunteered yourself.”

“Yeah, and I figured no time like the present, so we had sex in he bathroom and he decided he liked guys better.”

“So you didn’t turn him gay, just convinced him that sex with a girl wasn’t that good.”

“Hey, I was sixteen. I’d only had sex like twenty-three times I think. I wasn’t a slutt back then.” I thought I distinctly hear Danielle mutter ‘back then’ to herself, but I didn’t say anything.

“How many different guys had you been with?” I asked.

“I told you twenty-three.”

“No, you had sex twenty-three times. So how many different guys were there?”

“Twenty-three. God, logic is so not your thing Haley.” Oh my God. I don’t think I’ve even kissed twenty-three guys. What a whore.

“Hey girls,” Danielle said, “you know how I said about a 42 a few days ago? Well, in light of this new news we’re going to have to up that to a 56.”



I got home and I immediately headed for the shower. After I was done it was only like eight o’clock, so I decided I’d watch some TV and then go to bed. I started watching some stupid movie on Lifetime when I heard a knock at my door.

I figured it was one of my friends because I mean, who else would come to my door. But when I looked out at who it was I saw Nick standing outside my door. Holy shit. I opened the door.

“Nick what are you doing here?” He walked in the door and before I knew what was going on he was kissing me. Wow. He was a really good kisser.

Nick Narrating

So, I hadn’t thought of anything to say, so I decided to go with a different approach. When I finally stopped kissing her she only had one thing to say.

“So, you couldn’t resist me? You had to fly out here and see me?”

“Yep.” She kind of started laughing. “I’m serious.” I said looking directly into her eyes. I just freaked her out didn’t I?

“I’m glad you came.” I just smiled and kissed her again. Maybe I had done the right thing by not calling. Maybe she was the kind of girl that liked surprises.

“So, what do you want to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“How about opening your present?”

“What present?”

“Your birthday present from me.”

“You really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know. But I wanted to.” I handed her the box that she unwrapped carefully. “Now, I didn’t really know what to get you, so I called Melissa and she said you’d like this.”

She opened it. “They’re beautiful Nick. You shouldn’t have gotten these for me. They’re the nicest pair of earrings I own. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I kissed her again. What was that like the third time I had kissed her in the five minutes I’d been in her house? I really couldn’t control myself could I? “You look beautiful.” She really did too. Good God she was so fucking hot I couldn’t believe it.

“Nick, I’m in my pajamas.”

“It works for you.” I said as I kissed her again. “So what do you wanna do now?”

“I don’t know. What about you?”

“I have some ideas.”

“Like sex?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” HOLY SHIT. I MUST HAVE HEARD HER WRONG.

“What?”

“I guess that Carter charm worked faster than you expected.” HOLY SHIT. How long have I waited for this? I wasn’t good at waiting either. I usually don’t have to wait for that sort of thing you know? It was like a freaking dream come true. I was finally about to have sex with like the hottest girl ever!

CHAPTER 14

Haley Narrating

I woke up and last night slowly came back to me. It had been amazing. Normally I wouldn’t have slept with him so soon, but like Melissa said, when the hot Backstreet Boy is concerned you say fuck your morals.

“Hey.” He said as he rubbed his eyes. “Good morning.”

“Hey.” He was really cute in the morning. His hair was sticking straight up all over the place. It was one of the funniest things I’d seen in a really long time. “Do you have any other clothes or anything, because I didn’t see you come in with any luggage.”

“No. I kinda forgot to pack stuff.”

“So you have nothing?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay, well, I’ll go buy you some stuff, like a toothbrush and when I get back I’ll take you shopping for clothes.”

“Okay.”

“So, how long are you planning on staying?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have to be anywhere until like May 8th or something. Then I have to be in California.”

“Okay. Just so we know how many clothes to buy.”

Nick Narrating

I walked into the bathroom to at least put on my clothes from last night. The jeans weren’t that dirty. I’d only worn them for three or four days. The shirt probably wasn’t the cleanest, but I should have though of that before I left. Underwear. Don’t know where that is. I looked around for a good five minutes before just giving up and not wearing any at all. I looked in the mirror and at first I thought I saw a giant bird on the top of my head, but it turns out it was just my hair. Haley just saw me with what looked like a fucking bird on top of my head. Great.

She came back about twenty minutes after leaving. She emptied a bag onto the bed. Inside was everything I would need, even a comb to tame the bird on my head. Then I spotted the toothbrush. It was purple with flowers on it.

“You got me a purple flowery toothbrush?”

“First of all, it’s lavender, and second it was the only one they had.”

“But it makes me feel all,”

“Gay?”

“I was gonna say girly, but thanks. That’s comforting.”

“Just use the damn toothbrush and later I’ll make you feel manly again.”

“Okay.” Once again I would still do whatever she told me to do. And the offer for sex didn’t hurt either. Last night was amazing. For a while I was sort of worried that I wouldn’t be able to get my pants off over my dick. It actually took me thinking about Kevin naked to get them off. Not a pleasant image.

I went into the bathroom and used the comb. That itself took a full ten minutes, but after making myself look human again I came back out.

“So,” Haley said, “ready to go shopping?”

“Do we have to?”

“Do you want to run around Massachusetts naked?”

“Could I just run around your apartment naked? How about that?”

“The sooner we get going the sooner we can get back.”

“Will you make me feel manly then?” Please make me feel manly then.

“Maybe.”

“Oh come on. Give me a yes or a no. Those maybes can kill a guy.”

She laughed. “Okay. Fine. When we get back I’ll make you feel manly.” Yes!

“Okay. Let’s go. What’s taking you so long?”

“I’m coming.” I was out the door before she could say it again. You could say maybe I was a little anxious to get back to her apartment.

Kevin Narrating

Where the fuck was he? He’d checked out of his hotel room, but all his stuff was still there. Explain that one to me. Even if he didn’t have to be anywhere he should tell us where he’s going. Or at least tell us leaving. I mean, what if he had been abducted. Sure, I doubted that had happened, but you never know.

“Where the hell is he?” I asked to the rest of the guys. Howie was talking with someone on the phone while AJ and Brian packed all his stuff.

“I have a pretty good idea.” Brian said.

“Well, where?” I demanded.

“Did you try and call his cell phone?”

“Of course. And it rang, but no one answered.”

“I have an idea.”

Brian Narrating

The first thing I did was call Haley’s cell phone. I just had a feeling he went there.

“Haley?”

“Yeah. Brian?”

“Yeah. Look, is Nick with you?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“He didn’t tell us he was leaving,”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“Hold on.” On the other end of the phone I distinctly heard her scream for Nick.

Haley Narrating

“Dammit Nick why didn’t you tell them you were coming here?”

“I didn’t think of it.”

“How do you not think of it?”

“I didn’t even think to pack anything. Do you really think it occurred to me to tell the guys I was leaving?”

Brian Narrating

“What’s going on Brian?” Kevin demanded.

“Nick’s with Haley and she’s yelling at him now for not telling us.”

“Good. At least someone in that relationship has good sense. Because if I were there I would be so far up his ass!”

After I could tell Haley was done telling Nick everything she had to tell him I asked her, “Haley, do you know where Nick’s phone is?”

“No, hold on.”

Nick Narrating

“Nick, where’s your phone?” Shit. Where was my phone? I should know that. Let’s see. I had it on the way to the airport and then, oh fuck.

“It’s on the plane. I’m gonna have to get a new one of those.”

Brian Narrating

“He left it on the plane.” Haley said. “After we buy him some clothes I’ll take him to get a new one.”

“Okay. Thanks Haley. Keep an eye on him okay? He needs someone to look out for him, and apparently he wants you to.” I didn’t mean just then either. I think he wanted her to for a long time. But I’d let them figure that out.

“I will.”

“Bye.” Kevin looked at me. I knew that look too well. It was the tell me everything or I’m gonna fly to Massachusetts and drag him home by the ears look. “Well,” I began, “he went to see Haley, didn’t think to tell us or pack anything, and he left his cell phone on the plane. Haley’s going to buy him clothes and a phone today.”

“Good. Why the hell would he fly out there? Is there something I missed with her?”

“Well, I know he really liked her. He even came to me to help him figure out what to do when he wanted to ask her out. He usually doesn’t do that, so I don’t know what that means.”

“But he came to me when he wanted to ask her out.” Howie said.

“He came to me too.” Said AJ. I turned to Kevin.

“Did he come to you too?” I asked him.

“Yep.”

“So, hold on. Let me get this straight.” AJ said. “He came to all four of us, even D, for girl advice? Oh my God, give me Haley’s phone number. I have to call and give him shit about this.” I dialed Haley and handed him the phone.

AJ Narrating

Haley picked up the phone and I immediately asked for Nick.

“Hello?”

“So, Nicky. How are you?”

“What do you know?”

“Ah, you know me too well.”

“You never ask me how I’m doing unless you know something you can use against me.”

“Very true. Now, I was just conversing with the rest of the guys here, and we discovered that you came to each of us individually for girl advice.” This was just priceless. And I thought the condoms taped to his bunk was good. This was just perfect.

“Well, I didn’t want to seem desperate.”

“So, in order to not seem desperate you went to four different guys, including Howie, for help on how to get a girl? What happened to that Carter charm you always brag about? Wouldn’t it have been better to just ask one person for help and them ask them not to say anything?”

“Probably. Why don’t you tell me these things when I need to know them, not after it’s too late?”

“So I can watch you make an ass out of yourself. You’d think after I watched you do it so many times it would get old, but it never ever does.”

“I swear to God, if you ever tell Haley about this I will personally strangle that skinny little neck of yours.”

“Would you like me to tell her about the condoms taped to your bunk instead?” He just hung up on me. That little fuck just hung up on me as soon as it was getting fun.

“Condoms taped to his bunk?” Kevin asked.

“Oh yes. I’d forgotten you weren’t there. Come here D, so you can hear better. So a while back, me, Nicky and Brian decided to play Monopoly. We had to go get it from our bus, so since none of us brought the keys I had to climb through an open window. In the process of doing so I noticed three rows of condoms taped to his bunk. Turns out he’d been having sex on the bus. While we were on it.”

“With who?” Kevin wanted to know. This was fun. I should get a job in story telling. Maybe once this Backstreet thing ended I could do that. Alright. Something to look forward to.

“Shauna.”

“Our publicist Shauna?”

“The one and only.”

“But she’s older than me!”

“I know. So she’s like ancient. That’s what I said.” I ignored Kevin’s annoyed look about the crack at his age, and continued. “He just said that he was irresistible to women of all ages.”

Haley Narrating

“After we get done with this I’m taking you to buy a cell phone.”

“But I thought you were going to make me feel manly after this.”

“I will after you get a cell phone.”

“But I want to feel manly now!” he whined.

“I promise, after we get you a new, shiny cell phone I’ll make you feel very manly. Twice.”

CHAPTER 15

Nick Narrating

So yesterday after we got home, she did make me feel manly. Three times!!!!! So that was fun. It sorta made my day. I also got a new cell phone and Haley programmed all five of the guys’ numbers in there, so now I could actually call them. And it was a camera phone so she put pictures that represented whoever was calling on the screen when they called.

Like when Howie called I got a picture of a chia pet. Or when AJ called I got a picture of a donkey. Then I actually learned how to program numbers myself, for the sole purpose of putting Haley’s number in. And when she called I got a picture of her. Then I put her as number two on my speed dial. I told her it was so none of the guys could start fighting over who got to be first after voicemail, but it was really because I was just a little bit obsessed.

And now, I can listen to my voicemail because I have a new password. It was probably the easiest password ever and later it occurred to me that it was the same password as my other phone. NICK. That was my password and I fucking forgot it last time. Maybe I should have made it HALEY. That we all knew I could remember.

I was trying to decide what to do today while Haley was at work. She got home at five, but until then I was on my own. Let’s see. I’d just woken up. I looked at the clock. 2:45. Wow and I was still tired. I guess feeling manly made me tired. So what could I do for another two hours?

Haley Narrating

When I got to the gym I noticed Danielle was there.

“Hey.” She said.

“Why aren’t you at work?” I asked.

“I took the week off. So what’s up with you? You didn’t call yesterday. We usually talk to each other everyday. I figured you must be really busy.”

She was gonna freak out. Oh well, better now than later. “Nick came.”

“WHAT?!!!! WHEN?”

“The night we got home.”

“So how many times have you slept with him since he got here?”

“How do you know I slept with him?”

“Haley, it’s Nick Carter. How could you not sleep with him?”

“Four times altogether.”

“That’s it?”

“Well yeah. Once the night he got there and three times last night.”

“When we tell this story to Jess we’ll have to up that number to fourteen or she won’t believe us. With her four times is nothing. She did that pimply kid at the airport four times. She would so not believe you only slept with Nick four times in two days.”

“Yeah. You’ve got a point.”

Nick Narrating

I know what I’ll do. But I’ll need a car.




Half an hour alter I had rented a car and I was driving to the nearest flower shop. I bought Haley a dozen roses. The lady behind the counter apparently thought I looked clueless. She told me I’d need to cut the ends off all the roses. That made no sense. Why would you cut off the flower? Oh, right. Other end. Got it. Okay, maybe I was a little clueless.

When I got back to Haley’s place I looked all over for a vase, but I couldn’t find one. It was already 3:45, so I was kinda in a hurry. I finally gave up and took one of the water pitchers out of the cabinet and stuck them in there. It didn’t look very fancy so I took a piece of paper and the crayon out of my pocket (we’ll get back to the crayon in a second) and I wrote To Haley on the paper and taped it on the vase.

Okay. So now about the crayon. Basically I just never know when the overwhelming urge to color would hit me so I carried around your basic crayon colors. Red, blue, green, and yellow. If you had those you could make almost anything.

Now, onto phase two of the master plan. I would cook. So, where were the takeout menus? After looking in a few drawers I found a KFC flyer with a number. I called and eventually persuaded them to bring over the food instead of me going to pick it up. While I was waiting for them to bring me my wonderful cooking I set the table. I got out all the utensils and the glasses we would need for the dinner. I looked at the table. It seemed like it was missing something important. Oh right. Plates.

Haley Narrating

I was glad work was over. I should have gone to bed sooner. I guess I did go to bed pretty early, I just had to make someone feel manly before I could go to sleep.

I got home and when I walked in the door I knew something was up. Nick greeted me at the door in a clean shirt. So right there I knew something was going on. I looked inside and I saw a table set with dinner.

“What’s all this?” I asked.

“Just a little something I whipped up.”

“You mean a little something you ordered form KFC?”

“Oh man. How did you know?” I pointed at the flier on the counter.

“Gotta learn to cover your tracks.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really bad at cooking. I didn’t want to kill you before I really even got to know you.”

“It’s okay. I can’t cook either. I don’t care.”

“I just wanted it to be special.”

“It is.” And for the first time I kissed him instead of the other way around. “It’s very special.”




Nick Narrating

So the dinner was apparently very good. We ended up doing it once on her couch and again on the bed. I was really falling for her. I better be careful. Whenever I seem to fall too fast someone always seems to end up hurt. Or both of us.

I was sitting on the couch when something else hit me.

“Haley?”

“Yeah?”

“When do I have to leave?”

“What do you mean? I thought you didn’t have to be anywhere until the 8th.”

“I don’t, but when do you want me to leave?” Because I’d like to leave, like never.

She walked over and sat next to me on the couch. “You don’t have to leave until you want to. I’m not kicking you out. Until the 8th.”

“So, you wouldn’t care if I stayed here until the 8th?”

“Nope. Except you might want to fly out the 7th, because with the three hour time difference, you’ll be tired.”

“But other than that you don’t care when I leave?”

“No.”

“So, can I stay until then?”

“I’d love it if you did.” After she said that I pulled her into me and kissed her. It wasn’t until that moment that I knew she felt the same way as I did. Yay!

Danielle Narrating

“Mel,” I said, “I think Haley is falling for him too fast. What if he ends up hurting her?”

“Haley’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. Besides, you already threatened Nick. What more can you do?”

“I don’t know, but there has to be something. I don’t want her to get hurt. I just don’t trust him.”

“Why?”

“He’s a total whore.”

“I know that and Haley knows that. Look, Haley’s a smart girl. She’s always been smart about guys before, so what’s so different about this time?”

“She hasn’t always been smart. Remember Ryan? And Jason? Sure it was okay for a while, but then look what happened.”

“Yeah. And remember your old boyfriends? Adam? And Mark? We all make bad choices, but eventually we all have to make good ones too. Maybe this is Haley’s good one.”



Haley Narrating

Nick had been staying with me for almost a week now, and I still wasn’t sick of him yet. Usually when I lived with people they started annoying me after two or three days. I knew I shouldn’t feel the way I did about him so soon, but at the same time, I couldn’t help it.

As I was trying to fall asleep I kept trying to come up with logical answers for the way I felt and why I felt that way, but I couldn’t. Maybe I really did just feel that way. To tell you the truth it scared the hell out of me. It was different than the other times and I didn’t like that. I wanted it to be the same so I would know what to do. But I guess if it were the same it would end the same way, and I don’t need to go through that again.


The next morning I woke up and Nick was already out of bed. I was surprised to see that since I usually woke up before him. I got dressed and walked downstairs to fins him making breakfast. Cereal. Without milk.

“What’s with the cereal?”

“It’s breakfast.”

“What about milk?”

“I knew I was forgetting something. Where’s your milk?”

“Um, it’s in the cabinet under the sink.” And you know what? The dumbass looked under the freaking sink. “Nick, the milk’s in the fridge.”

“Oh. Yeah that would make more sense.”

Nick Narrating

So, she had only been up for about ten minutes and I’d already managed to make an ass out of myself twice. You know how I was hoping that would get better after I got to know her? It didn’t. And you know how I always basically wanted to have sex with her? And how I was hoping that would get better? It didn’t. If anything it got worse.

We ate the breakfast I had prepared and then I started thinking about the fact that it was only 10:30. We couldn’t have sex all day. Well, I wouldn’t mind that, but I don’t think Haley would go for that.

“So,” I asked, “What are we going to do today?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“Do you forget that I don’t live here, so I don’t know what there is to do?”

“Well, we could go get ice cream, but then I guess I’ll have to wear my sneakers in case we get chased again.”

“Did you have to bring that up?”

“Yeah I did.”

“So seriously what are we going to do?”

“We could go swimming at the pool downstairs.” Swimming. That meant Haley in a bathing suit. Well, as long as I stayed in the water and then just kept a towel wrapped around there that would be fine.

“Sure. Sounds fun. But we can’t swim for eight hours.”

“No, but after I figure you’ll have some ideas of what we could do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ll be all wet and slippery in my bathing suit, but if there’s nothing you want to do about that then we can just go to a movie or something. That’s fine with me.”

“Oh no. There’s a lot of things I want to do about that. I mean, a lot of things.” I could just do those things now if she wanted. I remember last time she went swimming enough that I would be totally fine. But I couldn’t tell her that.

“Good. Then we’ll go swimming and then we can come back and you can have your way with me.”

“Can we skip the swimming part?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because we can’t just have sex all day.”

“Why not.”

“Because.”

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Oh, so now you’re all anxious to go?”

“I’m just anxious to get back. Last time I saw you in a bathing suit I was freaking out the whole time. I wouldn’t mind that again.” I really wouldn’t mind that again.

“Oh, well I’m glad I could entertain you.”

“You entertain me very well.” Except when you’re not around. Then you force me into cold showers about twenty hours of the day, but other than that you entertain me very well. I probably shouldn’t say that huh?

CHAPTER 16

Nick Narrating

We were sitting there watching TV, well she was watching it. I was pretty much staring at her. Sometimes I found myself doing that. Just staring at her when she didn’t know it. Then when I realized I was doing it, it scared the living shit out of me. I’d never felt that way so soon before. What was so different now?

“I can’t believe I have to leave tomorrow.” I said.

“I know.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” I said.

“I’ll miss you too.”

“What if, well,”

“What?”

“Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“Tell me. I don’t care if it is stupid.”

“Do you want to come with me?” There I said it. It seemed to take her a really long time to answer. So I did what I always do when I can’t think of anything to say. I kissed her.

“I have to work.” Dammit. I kissed her again. “And I have friends.” I kissed her again. “And I don’t have a ticket.” I kissed her again. That seemed to be the pattern in this relationship. She talked, I kissed. I could live with that. “I’m making up problems.”

“Good.” I said. “Then come with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to stay the whole time. Just come out for a few days.” Please come.

“Okay. But I don’t have a ticket.”

“I’ll get you one.”

“Okay. I better go pack.”

Haley Narrating

I can’t believe I just agreed to go to California with him. Why had I done that? Oh yeah because I was totally into him. Maybe that was part of it. I guess I had to tell someone so they didn’t think I just disappeared. I called Melissa as soon as I found my phone.

“Mel? You can’t freak out when I tell you this okay? You have to promise.”

“Are you pregnant?”

“NO!”

“Okay. Then I promise.”

“Nick asked me to go to California with him tomorrow and I said yes.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll see when I get there. But I know they’re there for like ten days, and then they’re in Boston.”

“Okay. I’ll miss you. And be careful.”

“I will.”

“And I don’t mean just with California.”

“I know. And I will.” I hung up the phone and Nick walked in.

“I thought you might need some help packing.” He said.

“Have you packed?”

“Packed what?”

“Clothes. A toothbrush? I can’t promise that they’ll have flowery lavender toothbrushes in California.”

“Yeah. I haven’t packed yet.”

“You might wanna do that.”

“I want to do something else first.”

Nick Narrating

I walked over to her, and take a wild freaking guess what I did. Yep. I kissed her. I kept kissing her too until she forgot about packing. Sure I got the ‘but we have to pack’ between kisses, but other than that she had forgotten about packing.




We arrived at the airport a little earlier than we expected so our car wasn’t here yet. I dialed Brian’s number to tell him we were here and everything. They still didn’t really trust me to get where I needed to be on time. Hell the only reason I was here was because Haley made me come otherwise I’d probably still be at her apartment. So maybe it was good they didn’t trust me.

Brian Narrating

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s Nick. I was just calling to tell you we got here and everything.”

“Who’s we?” I had a pretty good idea, I just figured I’d let him tell me.

“I decided to bring Haley.” What a surprise. Then I thought I heard some yelling.

“You didn’t tell him I was coming?”

“No. I didn’t think it would matter.”

“How would you feel if Howie showed up with some girl and didn’t tell anyone?”

“But that would never happen. Howie doesn’t get any girls.”

I kind of doubted that was the point she was trying to make, but I didn’t tell him that.

“Brian, you’re lucky she’s here, because she can get me where I need to be on time.”

“I know. Maybe I won’t have to come drag you out of bed every morning.”

“Oh, yeah. You might not want to do that while she’s here. You might not like what you see when I come out from under the sheets.”

“So I guess Haley’s not right next to you anymore if you said that.”

“No. She went to get the luggage.”

“You let a lady get the luggage? That’s not very gentlemanly Nicky.” I teased.

“Shit. You’re right. I gotta go.” I hadn’t been serious about that. Besides Nick usually didn’t care whether he was gentlemanly enough or not.



“Is he at least in the same state as us?” Kevin asked me.

“Yeah. He just got in. He just called me and Haley’s with him.”

“He brought Haley?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he tell you he was bringing her?”

“No, but I did hear her yelling at him when she found out he hadn’t told us yet. And he says that since she’s there she’ll get him where he needs to be on time, and I think she’s the only reason he’s here. I’m pretty sure she made him come because if it were up to him he’d still be at her place.”

“Maybe I’m going to like this girl. She seems to keep him in line.”

“Yeah.”

“I couldn’t tell that much from dinner since Baylee got sick and we had to cut it short.”

“Yeah. About that. He wasn’t sick. I figured I should tell you this before you found out some other way. The reason we left is because Paris came in a few minutes after we sat down.”

“What? Why was she in Pennsylvania?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“I didn’t even see her. How did you know she was there?”

“Haley called me from the bathroom to tell us to get out of there before you killed her.”

“Well, then we can thank Haley for keeping me out of prison.”

Nick Narrating

We both started unpacking our suitcases when we got to the room. I did try to get her to do something else first, but she didn’t go for it. That had sucked a little bit. But you know what was more surprising? I had actually brought more shit than she did. I mean as I unpacked I realized I had a lot of shit. And that’s exactly what it was too. Shit. Not stuff. It was all useless shit that I would never need. Like I had some of the takeout menus from Haley’s house. Now what could I possibly do with those? Seriously?

After I finished packing I asked Haley, “How did I get so much shit?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s like your guilty pleasure.”

“Trust me. That’s not my guilty pleasure.”

“Really? Then what is?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“You.”



The next day Haley woke me up at the ungodly hour of seven am. I mean it was just cruel to make anybody get up that early. She shoved me into the bathroom to take a shower and ordered breakfast from room service. Was it bad that I needed someone to take care of me like this? Oh well. That was just who I was. Why deny it?

“Haley? Do you want to join me in the shower?”

“Shut up and get ready!”

“Okay.” Wait, what was I going to today? “What am I getting ready for?”

“The taping for Regis and Kelly.”

“Oh yeah. I don’t want to do that.”

“You’ll be in Disneyland. You can play on all the little rides.”

“Ooooh. Yay!” Now that really did sound fun. I hadn’t done that in years.

Haley Narrating

He really was a five year old in a man’s body wasn’t he? How did I fall for him again? When he acted like he was five years old all the time?

He came out of the bathroom about forty minutes after I had shoved him into the shower.

“I thought you’d drowned in there.” I said.

“Well, since you wouldn’t come with me I had to do my own thing.” I never heard that sentence used in such a literal way.

“You have no self control do you?”

“Nope. None whatsoever.”

“That might not be the best thing you know?”

“I know. But I tried controlling myself years ago, and the thing was, it hadn’t worked.”

“So you gave up and never tried again?”

“Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.”

Kevin Narrating

So, the surprising part of the whole day was that Nick was actually on time. We had to meet at 8:45, but he was actually there at 8:44. That is the earliest Nick has ever been for anything. He wasn’t event he last one. Brian walked in at 8:46. I thought Nick was going to keep giving him shit for that for the rest of his life. I must say we usually do give him a pretty hard time for being late.

Howie Narrating

This morning I decided Haley might not be that bad for Nick. I mean she did remind him to do regular everyday things that he normally forgot to do. Like eat. Or take a shower. And she got him where he needed to be on time. It was a freaking miracle. He even didn’t miss his plane out to California. Now, I know Haley had something to do with that because he wouldn’t have even left her apartment until an hour before the flight if he left at all unless she made him.

AJ Narrating

I was truly surprised when Nick was actually on time. We could have actually told him the real time we needed to meet instead of fifteen minutes early like we’d been doing since he was thirteen. Maybe Haley really was the reason he was on time. I’d say it was because he was getting laid, but that happens anyway so…

Brian Narrating

Usually it wasn’t a big deal when one of us showed up a full forty-five seconds late because Nick doesn’t show up on time. Ever. Except today. So of course he made me feel like an asshole for being late. To tell you the truth I was just glad he was actually on time for a change.

I tried to think of what would have made a difference, but I couldn’t think of anything. He was just always late. Wait. There was one difference. Haley.

CHAPTER 17

Nick Narrating

I was laying there staring at her while she was sleeping. That was kind of creepy wasn’t it? Oh well. I didn’t know why, but everything was different with her. I didn’t mind coming back to her even when the whole newness of the relationship wore off. I didn’t mind her always being there. In fact, I wanted her to always be there. I didn’t know what it was that was different, but I liked it. It also scared me half to death, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I sat there for another twenty minutes waiting to see if it would occur to me what was so different with her. As I finally gave up it dawned on me. It was so simple. She just made me… happy. She made me realize that some day I could have a family. It didn’t seem so far out of reach.

Haley Narrating

I pretended to be asleep, but really I was just laying there thinking. I always seemed to think right before I fell asleep. I’d think about totally random things sometimes, but tonight it was mainly focused on one thing. Nick. I didn’t really understand it. I couldn’t believe how fast I was falling for him. I kept trying to slow myself down, but I couldn’t change the way I felt no matter how hard I tried.

It scared me really. Maybe I should just enjoy it, but then what would happen if things didn’t work out? No, when things didn’t work out. I wouldn’t be one of those girls that thinks everything is perfect, and then it turns out to be the worst thing that ever happened to her. I wouldn’t let that happen to me. This wasn’t going to last, so I might as well have fun while it does.



Nick Narrating

“Haley, what are we doing today?”

“Do you forget everything?”

“Pretty much. Yeah.”

“We don’t have any plans for the day, but then we’re going to Kevin and Kristin’s for dinner. That’s been planned since before I even met you. You really shouldn’t forget things like that.”

“Well, I do. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Maybe you could write something down so you didn’t forget about it.”

“Nah.”

“So you’re just going to forget everything for the rest of your life?”

“I remember the important stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Brian’s got a kid.”

“Really? Did it take you a full two years to remember that?”

“No. Only about a year and a half.”

“Is that all you remember?”

“No. I remember he’s married too. And so is Kevin.”

“It’s only been about four years since that. How long did it take you to remember that?”

“About four years. That one I’ll admit I should have remembered sooner. The real wake up call was when I tried to fix Kevin up with this girl who I thought was hot. Wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but Kristin was next to him, so that was kinda bad. Not my best choice of words when I described her either.”

“When was this?”

“About two months ago.”

“Way to go.”

“Yeah. That’s what AJ said too. You guys both make fun of me a lot.”

“I live for it.”

“That’s what he says too!”

“Maybe we’re the same person.”

“Holy shit. Maybe it’s like in the video for the call when the girl’s dressed up like Howie, except this time it’s like backwards or something and,”

She walked over and stole on of my tricks. She needed to shut me up, so just like I would have done she started kissing me.

“Maybe you’re not the same person.” I said. “I never want to kiss AJ like that.” I kissed her again, only this time no one needed to shut anyone up, she was just really hot.

“What do you want to do today?” she asked me.

“Huh?”

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“No. I was too busy thinking about since we have no plans for today, we could just spend the day in the room.”

“We can’t just always stay in the room.”

“Why not. You know I meant to have sex right?”

“No I thought you meant so we could braid each others hair.”

“Don’t you be touching my hair. It’s all nice and spiky. I know you like it that way.”

“I do like it that way.” I didn’t know that. But I was going to have to wear it spiky more often if she liked it like that. Maybe she’d think I was as hot as I thought she was. Granted I didn’t really think that was possible, but it was worth a shot.

“What is there to do in California? I’ve only been here once you know.” She said.

“Well, you’re in California, so I could do you.”

“I’m serious.”

“I don’t know. Normal city stuff. Do you want to go out to eat or something?”

“Sure. But we should go now so we’re hungry when we go to Kevin and Kristin’s.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”



We went to some restaurant that had pretty much everything. If Haley hadn’t been there we never would have gotten in because it didn’t occur to me that other people might be hungry too. I guess they ate too. That was the thing with me. I had no common sense.

We sat down and ordered our drinks within thirty seconds of getting to the restaurant. I guess that was why people made reservations huh?

“So,” she asked, “are there any embarrassing stories you’d like to tell me.”

“Not really.”

“It doesn’t have to be about you.”

“Oh then yeah. I’ve got a bunch. My favorite was when Howie thought this girl was totally into him, so he went over and started talking to her. You know trying to be all charming and sweet. I guess he was because I saw them leaving for his room like ten minutes later. Then another ten minutes later it turns out that Howie’s girl turned out to be a little more manly than him. So now Howie is totally freaked out by the idea of a sex change operation.”

“When did this happen?”

“Valentine’s Day.”

“This Valentine’s Day?”

“Yep. It was great. He still hasn’t lived that one down. I don’t think he ever will.” She was laughing now. I loved it when she laughed. She was so pretty.

“Any more stories?”

“Yeah sure.” Shit. I don’t have anymore stories. I just said that. Now I’ll have to make one up. Or tell one where I ended up making an ass out of myself. That seemed to happen in every story I could think of.

“Good.”

“Well, there’s the time I got drunk.”

“Good story. Love the way it ends.”

“That’s not the whole story. First of all I was sixteen.”

“You got drunk when you were sixteen?”

“Yeah. It was the first time though. When did you get drunk the first time?”

“I was twenty. And it was Danielle’s fault.”

“Well in my case it was Brian and AJ’s fault.”

“Okay. Tell me the story now.”

“Well, Kevin and Howie went out to a club, but AJ was in timeout and Brian was sick so they stayed in. Obviously I couldn’t go because I was sixteen.”

“Hold on. AJ was in timeout?”

“Yeah. That was Howie’s idea actually. It’s where you can’t go out anywhere or do anything fun basically.”

“And how do you get timeout?”

“Well, if you do something really bad, like bring a girl back to the hotel.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That doesn’t qualify for a timeout anymore. That rule ended when I turned like nineteen.”

“Do you guys still have timeout?”

“Oh sure. I was in timeout the day of our first date because I was late for the show.” Way to go Carter. You totally succeeded in not making yourself look like an asshole. And you probably made her feel guilty in the process.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You weren’t the one attracting the screaming girls. But anyway, back to my story. We were all just sitting in the hotel room watching TV when AJ decided it would be funny if they got me drunk. Of course Brian just sat there and laughed while AJ forced the alcohol down my throat.”

“Forced it down your throat?”

“Okay fine. While I yanked it out of his hands. It’s all the same really. But basically I had two beers and I was just totally gone. And when I say gone I mean like thinking I was in London when I was in New Hampshire.”

“After two beers?” This made me look like more of an ass than I remembered.

“Yes. But then in my drunken glory I decided that I would need more bath towels. Apparently the four that they gave me were not enough for me to shower for one night. So I went down to the front desk to ask for towels. AJ came with me to make sure I didn’t fall or pass out.”

“Why didn’t they stop you?”

“Because they wanted to watch and see what would happen to drunken sixteen year old Nicky. But I got my towels from the lady at the front desk, why I didn’t just call for them I don’t know, but I spotted this thirty year old sitting on the couch in the lobby.

“So I walked over and started totally hitting on this thirty year old. Now I am sixteen and drunk off my ass with the worst haircut ever known to mankind and I am hitting on a thirty year old.”

“Was she at least hot?”

“Yes he was.”

“What!?!?”

“I told you I was drunk, and I’m sure AJ encouraged me to go hit on him. But then we went back to the room after the guy threatened to get a restraining order, and eventually Kevin got back.”

Uh oh.”

“Yeah. So he started screaming at me, AJ, and Brian, but especially AJ because he had a feeling that he was the instigator of it all. But then he kept screaming ‘how much did he have to drink? Six or seven beers?’ That was when AJ helpfully pointed out that I had only had two. So then Kevin started laughing at me. He was in the middle of a rampage and then just stopped and laughed. That doesn’t happen. That is just not something he does.”

“I bet you’ll never live it down.”

“Well, Kevin stopped making fun of me for it after I found out how old he was the first time he got drunk.”

“How old was he?”

“Eleven.”

“Eleven?”

“Yeah. He thought it would be funny. But at least he doesn’t bring up that story anymore.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Some people just can’t hold their liquor very well.”

“I hold my liquor fine now!”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I hold my liquor fine!”

“Oh. So I guess that’s why to date you’ve been arrested twice, both times being completely related to alcohol.”

“I knew you’d understand. Wait, why was the first arrest related to alcohol?”

“Are you telling me you got into that fight completely sober?”

“Okay. Arrests. Alcohol. Completely related. Got it.”

“I knew you’d understand.”

CHAPTER 18

Nick Narrating

“I don’t wanna go.” I said. I sounded like a two year old didn’t I?”

“I don’t care. You have to. It’s only dinner. Besides it’s not like you have to go eat with people you don’t like!”

“But I don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t care.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“Will you make me feel manly when we get back?” I thought it was about time I brought that back. Then she rolled her eyes.

“Fine.”

“Will you eat fast?”

“No. I will eat at a normal pace, and so will you. Now go get ready.”


I rang the doorbell at Kevin’s house. I didn’t want to be here. I just wanted to be back in the room with Haley. Not even to have sex. Well yeah, but just to be with her too. I liked to just hang out with her.

“Hi.” Kristin said as she opened the door.

“Hi. I’m Haley.”

“Nice to meet you. Come on in. Everyone else is in the living room.” So we went into the living room and everyone was there. The guys, Leighanne, Baylee, everyone. I guess if I had thought about it that pretty much was everyone, but as usual I hadn’t thought about it.

“Hey Nick.” AJ said. “Hello Haley.” He was talking in that sexy voice. Not that I thought it was sexy or anything. Just, you know.

“No hitting on her AJ.” I said.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I cannot control the beast inside of me.”

“Well, you’re going to have to.”

“Not gonna happen.” Brian said. “He’s still hitting on Leigh. And I’ve got a kid.”

“Maybe once you have like six or seven I’ll lay off.”

“Uncle Nick,” Baylee said, “who dat?” he said pointing to Haley.

“That’s Haley.” I said.

“Is Hawey your girlfriend?” Shit. That’s one of those questions I should know isn’t it? Was she? If I say no she might be mad, but if I say yes she might get freaked out. I looked at her. Then she bent down and answered the question for me.

“Yes. I am. And I brought you a toy.” She had brought him a toy. I think it was a coloring book or something. I wasn’t sure. She said he was bound to get bored at this dinner, so she should bring him something to do. She said he would have a short attention span because he was only two. Then she said I should know a lot about it since I acted like a two year old all the time.

“I like this girl Uncle Nick. Hold on to her.” Everyone laughed at that as he walked over to Brian to show him his new coloring book.

Haley Narrating

“I’m going to go work on dinner.” Kristin said. Leighanne followed her. I guess that was my cue to go too. I followed Leighanne into the kitchen.

Good God the house was fucking bigger than my entire apartment building. I was lucky I had someone to follow into the kitchen or I’d have been lost there for a week.

“Well,” I said, “I can’t cook at all, but I can help with something else.”

“That’s no problem.” Kristin said. “Here’s a little secret. We don’t cook most of it anyway. I had half of this catered.” Oh. Good to know.

“Yeah.” Said Leighanne, “you’ll fit right in with us.” They were trying a little too hard to be nice, you could tell. But I guess it was better than them ignoring me completely.

AJ Narrating

So I sat there watching as Nick watched Haley walk into the kitchen.

“Dude, you’re totally whipped.”

“No I’m not! Fuck off AJ.” Probably shouldn’t have said that in front of the two year old huh? I should start to think before I speak. But then there were the times when I thought I was thinking, but really I was talking. Those times could screw a person over sometimes. You could get yourself into some serious shit.

“You just watched her every step as she walked into the kitchen. If that’s not whipped I don’t know what is.”

“Whipped is when you do everything she tells you to do.” That’s when we heard Haley yell from the kitchen.

“Nick, I left my cell phone in the car. Would you go get it?”

“Sure.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said. “You’re not whipped at all.”

“Actually Haley,” he said. Oh great now the fuck was gonna piss her off just to prove to us that he’s not whipped. That was brilliant. “I can’t right now.”

“I don’t really care if they’re telling you you’re whipped. Suck it up, be a man, and please go get my cell phone.”

“How did you know they were calling me whipped?” They were having a fucking conversation by screaming from room to room. No one cared, we did that all the time, but usually the girls get annoyed. Leigh and Kristin were used to it, but I guess Haley didn’t care.

“We discussed this before. AJ and I are basically the same person, so I know what he would do.”

That opportunity was too good to pass up. “I knew I turned you on Carter. But since you couldn’t have me you went out and got the girl version of me?”

“You were just too much man for him AJ.” Cool, Brian was on my side. Brian’s side always won arguments.

“I didn’t get the girl version of you AJ.” Then to Haley he yelled, “Seriously how did you know?”

“Psychic I guess.”

“Do you still want me to get your phone?”

“No. I have it right here. I just wanted to see what you would say.”


“Baylee, why don’t you go help mommy in the kitchen.” Brian said.

“Why’d you send him away?” I asked.

“I figured the talk about Nick’s sex life was coming up. My two year old son doesn’t need to hear that.”

“It is a pretty extensive topic.”

“So, are we going to talk about my sex life?” Nick asked.

“Well, since Brian brought it up…”

“Fine. I have more of one that D does.”

“We wanted to hear something we didn’t know. No offense D.”

“None taken. I’m used to it now. Actually saw it coming.”

“Well,” said Nick, “what do you want to know?”

“Do you really like her?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah.”

“Does she really like you?”

“I hope so.”

“What are you guys going to do for the rest of the time you’re here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is she staying the whole time we’re here?”

“I don’t know. Will you stop grilling me now?”

“No. One more question.”

“What?”

“Are you happy?”

“Yeah. More so than I have been in a long time.”

“Good.” I didn’t know he was happy. I figured they were just doing it. I didn’t know he really cared about her. Sure I should have seen the signs. The way he stared at her all the time, the way he was actually happy. I guess I didn’t think that much about it. That was the difference between me and Kevin. Kevin thought shit up to worry about. I worried about what was in front of me.

Haley Narrating

“Mommy, Daddy told me to come help you.” He was really cute. He was still carrying around that coloring book too. I guess he liked it.

“Well,” said Leighanne, “why don’t you sit right here and color in your new coloring book while me, Kristin, and Haley go in the other room to set the table.”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“Well,”

“I could stay with him.” I said.

“Yeah!” said Baylee. I guess he liked the idea.

“Okay. Haley will stay with you while you color in your coloring book and me and Aunt Kristin will be in the other room.”

Leighanne Narrating

Kris was already in the dining room setting out nine plates for everyone here.

“Kris,” I said, “do you like Haley? Do you think she’s good for Nick?”

“I think so. I don’t know her that well. But from the first impression she seems okay.”

“That’s what I was thinking too. I heard Nick say from the living room that she makes happy.”

“Well, that’s good. That’s important in a relationship. You can’t want to kill each other. Then I don’t think it would last.”

“No.” I said.

“The thing that gets me, is she’s not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“I know. Brian told me she was valedictorian in high school.”

“Then she’s definitely not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“Yeah. And she seems really nice. You can’t act that nice and really be a total bitch right?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Brian also told me she’s not really slutty.”

“Then once again, she’s definitely not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“No. She is pretty though.”

“Yeah. Very.”

Brian Narrating

I was sent into the kitchen to see when dinner was ready. I walked in to see Haley sitting with my son at the table helping him color his coloring book. However the wives were no where to be found.

“Hi Haley.” I said.

“Hi.”

“Daddy, Hawey’s helping me color.” He held up a picture of a sailboat on the ocean. I could see the tiny part of the water that Haley colored. That must be the blue part rather than the big yellow part of the water.

“Well, I hope you’re having fun. Where’s mommy and Aunt Kristin?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?”

“No.” I turned to Haley for a little help.

“They’re in the dining room. They’re setting the table.”

“Thanks.” I walked into the dining room to see them with only plates and napkins on the table. I could tell they had been talking because they stopped as soon as I walked in.

“So what were you talking about?” I asked.

“Nothing important.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Well, we were talking about Haley.” Leigh answered.

“Well, what do you think of her?”

“We think she’s nice. But we don’t know why Nick’s with her. She seems so different from all the other girls Nick has dated.”

“I know. That’s why we like her.”

“Does he like her?”

“Yeah. Very much. I haven’t’ seen him like this in a long time. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this way.”

AJ Narrating

I sucked at charades. But that’s what we were playing. Nick was sitting in the middle of the floor trying to decide what to do for his skit. Then he started like humping the floor. At least that’s what it looked like. I didn’t know what the hell it was, but then something occurred to me.

“You and Haley last night!”

“No.”

“You and Haley this morning!”

“NO!”

“You and Haley this afternoon!”

“Dammit AJ it’s not me and Haley.”

“You and Shauna on the bus!”

“NO!!!!”

“What was it then?”

“It was someone giving CPR.”

“It looked more like someone giving a BJ.”

“Shut up AJ and get down here.”

“I’m not giving you a bj Carter. God, control yourself.” We all knew he couldn’t do that.

CHAPTER 19

Nick Narrating

We’d been talking about Haley the whole time she had been in the other room. I guess there was nothing more important to talk about. I mean Brian reads the newspaper. He should have some more important topic to talk about.

“So Nick,” great it was Kevin. Now we’d start the interrogation about my intentions or some bullshit like that. “are you really happy or fake happy for the next three weeks?”

“Really happy. I promise.”

“Way to not discuss the girlfriend thing before you got here too.” AJ said. “Baylee totally caught you guys off guard.”

“Yeah. That was kinda bad.” At that exact moment Haley walked in to tell us dinner was ready.

“So what were you guys talking about?” she asked. Shit.

Of course all five of us answered different things. I answered cars, AJ answered sex, Brian answered Baylee, Kevin answered the new album, and Howie answered Britney Spears’ 2000 VMA performance. Had that seriously what he had been thinking about throughout this entire conversation that come to think of it he had not participated in?

“Okay, I buy AJ’s answer.”

“As you should.” He said. “And other than sex it was mostly about you.” That little shit.

“AJ!” I said as I smacked the side of his head.

“No, I kinda figured that one out. Because usually when someone comes into a room and everyone stops talking immediately, it means they were talking about them. I just wanted to see what you guys would answer. Now come eat dinner.”

We all followed her into the dining room where there was a shit load of food. There was like every kind of food ever. Sad thing was, we’d probably eat it all. Everyone sat down and started taking food. People started talking about random things except I wasn’t paying attention. I was trying to stare at Haley and not make it obvious.

Eventually conversation started to stop so AJ had the brilliant idea to shout out what he thought was funny. “So, turns out Nicky here has a little bit of a crush on me.”

Everyone laughed. Then Haley was very helpful “It’s true. Sometimes I hear him call out your name in the night.” I pretended to kinda push her, but then Kevin told me to stop. Damn him. He always takes the fun out of everything.

“Well,” said AJ, “I do have a few other Nick stories to help brighten the evening.”

“You can’t say them in front of the child.” I said in hopes of dodging these stories.

“No it’s okay.” Said Brian. What the fuck? Brian was supposed to be on my side. “He can’t understand things the way AJ tells them.” Wasn’t that just so fucking convenient.

“First is the time Nick got drunk at sixteen. Some of you may have already heard this story from his point of view, however there’s a slightly different version that I prefer. Nick has never actually heard my version, and I don’t think I’ve even told him some of these things actually happened. See he thought he dreamed them.”

Oh God. If it was the stuff that I thought was a dream that was bad. Very very bad!

“So, first of all, Kevin and Howie went to some club or something so me, Brian, and Nick are sitting in a hotel room incredibly bored. Then I had a fabulous idea to get Nick just a little tipsy. So I convinced him to do it. Then he started grabbing beers out of my hand. After two beers he was so drunk I thought he’d been sneaking in extra alcohol. But he hadn’t. Then he went to take a bath. He took the bath but then he used all four of his towels to roll around on the bathroom floor. Then he started unrolling the toilet paper to make a bigger “mat” so he had a bigger space to roll around.”

This was so humiliating. And if I was right, it only got worse.

“Now, you remember he was still naked at the time. And then it occurred to him that he might need more towels to shower the next morning. So he walked down the hall to the elevator to get more towels from the front desk. However, he never put on clothes. So here’s this skinny naked sixteen year old kid walking down the hall. Bound to turn some heads. So then I saw him get on the elevator. Still naked. I ran on after him because as much as I enjoyed watching all the stupid things he did I didn’t want him to get arrested or anything.”

Okay. As far as I know, that’s the worst part.

“However, before I could get him off the elevator the doors shut and we started going down. And on the next three floors there were people waiting to get on. Obviously they wisely chose to wait for the next elevator. Now I was stuck with naked Nick going down an elevator headed for the lobby. We got tot the second floor, but then the elevator just stopped. We didn’t know why, but it just stopped.”

Okay, this part I didn’t know about. Shit. And everyone was laughing. I wanted to go home. I sounded like a thirteen year old girl didn’t I? It was okay. I should be manly enough to take this. Problem was, I wasn’t. I didn’t really care about the other guys, but I didn’t want Haley to think I was a total dickwad. Just when I was starting to really like her too.

“And then we waited for a full twenty minutes before the elevator started again. But, during those twenty minutes Nick had been crying like a little baby.” He started pretending to cry and talking like he was in tears. “We’re gonna die! It’s so dark in here! I wanna go home. It really wasn’t that dark at all, except dumbass had his eyes shut and didn’t know it. Then the lobby doors opened but I managed to hide him on the side and shut the doors before too many people saw him. I got him back to the room and made him put some clothes on.”

Well, I guess AJ was just gonna make fun of me all night.

“He chose a magenta shirt that some girl had left after a night with Howie, what she left in I don’t know, and a pair of Kevin’s jeans, which were huge. Not a pretty sight, but I took him down to the front desk and he got his towels. Then the rest is basically the same as Nick’s side of the story. Hitting on the thirty year old man and everything.”

Everyone was still laughing. At least Haley seemed like she just thought it was funny, not too creepy. I really hoped she didn’t like run screaming as soon as she got out of the house. Or I suddenly woke up tomorrow and she was gone. That would be like the worst thing ever. Could this night get any worse?


After everyone finished eating their dinner all the women decided that since they cooked the men should clear the table. Fuck that. Didn’t we have people to do that? I don’t think I’ve cleared a table since I was like twelve. What the fuck do I do with this plate? Perfect! Put it on top of the big pile Kevin was carrying! Problem solved.

Brian got lucky and decided that Baylee suddenly had to go to sleep so him and Leighanne drove back to their house. I mean, the kid could have waited another thirty seconds to go to bed so Brian could help clear the table.


AJ Narrating

“Now, we’re going to play Pictionary!” Kristin said. Except instead of playing with the game we were just playing on pieces of paper and stuff. That was good because last time we had played a board game we had ended up chasing paper money through the streets.

Of course I got paired with Nick. We couldn’t put him with his new hot girlfriend and me with like Kevin or something. I fucking got Nick. I’d probably make him so flustered from his crush that he wouldn’t be able to draw anything.

Nick started drawing something that looked like boobs. So like a natural human being trying to be successful at the task of trying to guess what dumbfuck was drawing I screamed out, “BOOBIES!”

“NO!”

“Melons.”

“No.”

“Two boob-like globs of peanut butter.”

“Jesus Christ AJ it’s not that difficult.”

“Yes it is. I want a new partner! Mine sucks at drawing!”

“Oh yeah, because I’m just thrilled with the pairing.” He said sarcastically. “Now shut up and keep guessing.”

“Fine. Headlights.”

“No. Ten seconds.”

“I don’t fucking know. What the hell are you trying to draw?”

“It was ice cream cones dumbass!” Then it was Haley’s turn to draw. Her partner was Kristin. Haley started drawing and even I knew she was trying to draw a fruit bowl. So of course they got it right and then they kept getting them right, and eventually they won. Me and Nick had a final score of yep, you guessed it, zero! Maybe if Nick had been paired with his valedictorian girlfriend she could have balanced out his dumbness and they could have actually been competitive.


Nick Narrating

We finally left dinner at like eleven that night. I had a pretty good time, except for the part where AJ told the story. That was it’s new name. The Story. We finally got back to the room and I asked Haley the question that had bugging me all night.

“Can you make me feel manly now?” I whined. She looked so good. I had been dying all night waiting to get back. But Haley wouldn’t let me leave until we actually finished dinner. I mean who waits until they’ve actually finished a meal before they have sex? Anybody? Didn’t think so.

“Do you really want me to?”

“So bad. And if you ever wear those pants again don’t expect me to get through an entire night. It was fucking killing me by the time we got to Pictionary.” I started kissing her and getting all happy because she was gonna make me feel manly! I felt like a little kid in a candy store every time she told me she’d make me feel manly. Ha ha. Candy store. Lollipops. Sex. Interesting analogy. Was that an analogy? I never really did understand what that meant.

“Okay, I’ll never wear these pants again then.”

“No! I didn’t mean that. I just meant like I’d need some sex in the bathroom or something.”

“Oh okay.” Then we went back to the making out. That was like the best activity ever. Fuck Pictionary. I have a hot girlfriend I’d been waiting to have sex with all day.

“Wait.” I asked. “One quick question. How did you know AJ was calling me whipped?”

“I told you I was psychic.”

“I know, but seriously. How did you know?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah. And hurry. I’m about to explode here. I need to feel manly really soon. And when I say really soon, I mean within the next like six seconds, so don’t talk as slow as Kevin does.”

“Okay. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but AJ just talks really loud sometimes.”

“I know. But can we have sex now?”

“You’re the one that brought that up!”

“I know. I’m stupid. Maybe you should punish me Haley. Spank me Haley. Spank me!” AJ would be so proud of me.

CHAPTER 20

Nick Narrating

We didn’t have anything to do for the rest of the day, and I didn’t want to just sit in the room even if Haley was there. So what could we do? I’d been thinking about it the entire time she had been in the shower. And usually when she was in the shower the only thing I thought about was her in the shower, so this was new for me.

Maybe, if I actually thought about things other than sex I’d actually get something done. Yeah, not worth it. But anyway I thought of the perfect thing to do. She got out of the shower and I told her.

“Haley, we’re going to an amusement park!” That was so sophisticated too. I loved the idea.

“Don’t you have grown up things to do?”

“Not really. People think this job has so many loose ends, but Kevin usually takes care of those. It’s great. Leaves me totally free to go to amusement parks.”

“Well, I hope you haven’t been straining yourself for the new album or anything.”

“Don’t worry. I haven’t been. I’ve been saving my energy for sex. So let’s go on some rides!”

“Fine. Why don’t you invite the rest of the guys too. That way you’re at least with them.”

“Okay.” I called the other four. I could actually do that now since I had their numbers! Kevin decided not to come, I convinced Howie to, and I thought Brian and AJ were going to beat me there. “Kevin is no fun.”

“Why?”

“He said that he has eleven interviews and stuff to set up so he can’t go with us.”

“Well, I guess that’s important.”

“Oh, no it’s not.”

“Don’t you guys have people to do that?”

“That’s what I said and he said no and leave me alone.”

“Oh. Okay. So you ready to go?”

“Yep. Let me just make my hair spiky.”

“Your hair doesn’t have to be spiky to go on a fucking rollercoaster. It’ll just get messed up.”

“Yes, but until we actually get on one, it’ll look good.”

“Yes, that’s very logical Nick.”

“I know. That’s what I’ve been trying to make you see.”

“Silly me.”

“I know.”



AJ Narrating

“Oh good. We’ll be able to spend the day with one of California’s sexiest women!” I said.

“I’m from Massachusetts dumbass.”

“It’s all the same. But you should have told me Nicky. I would have made myself foxy for the pretty lady.”

“I said no hitting on her.” Nick said.

“Oh, what’s a little flirty gonna hurt? You jealous?”

“No I don’t- ooh let’s go on that one!”

“Holy shit. That’s a big fucker!”

“I know. And it goes upside-down too.”

“I’ll pass.” I said.

“Fuck that AJ. I’ll carry you on if I have to.”

“I’m not going on that. Maybe if you go on like forty times and you don’t die then maybe I’ll THINK about it. But hell no.”

“Be a man J. Get on all strapped in there and go for it.”

“You’d like me all strapped in wouldn’t you?”

Nick Narrating

“Shut up and go on the fucking ride!” I finally convinced everyone to go on the ride. I actually didn’t have to convince Haley. She wanted to go more than anyone else.

We got on the ride and I distinctly heard AJ yell, “Son of a bitch!” He was gonna hate this. I was so glad I’d dragged him on. In the middle of it I looked over and saw AJ screaming like a girl and covering his eyes. He was so never gonna live that down. If he thought my first date with Haley was gonna come up in interviews he should wait until I throw this in his face.

We got off the ride and AJ was a little dizzy. I told Brian to make sure he didn’t fall over. I’d have told Howie to but I figured he would just kinda let him. Brian would at least try to catch him.

“Nick you little shit.” AJ said. “I hate you. That was the worst experience of my entire life.”

“Just wait until you have a girlfriend and we all have dinner. Then I can tell everyone this story about you.” Payback’s a bitch.

AJ Narrating

Oh, payback’s a bitch. I hate him. Had I mentioned that? I was too dizzy to remember. Then I noticed a bunch of girls who looked to be in college walking in. They started muttering and looking our way. Now, as much as I hate the little shit I now understood how shitty that first date must have been.

Nick Narrating

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Flashback!

Haley Narrating

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. That’s got to be the funniest thing ever. I think we were about to get chased. Again!

Brian Narrating

I was so not in the mood to run right now. Maybe we should just sign something. Oh no there’s like thirty of them. I swear to God, girls cannot do anything alone.

Howie Narrating

I didn’t want to run right now. I just finished fixing my hair after we got off the ride. Damn.

Nick Narrating

“Guys, should we just sign something?” I asked.

“You think of that this time?” Haley asked me.

“I learn form my mistakes.”

“There’s like thirty of them. And they keep multiplying.” Brian said. Holy shit, he was right. First there were like four, now there had to be at least twelve, and more were still coming. It was like a bad horror movie.

“What do we do?” Haley was standing next to me just laughing her ass off like it was the funniest thing ever. “What is so funny?”

“Just the fact that you guys are scared of like fifteen teenage girls.”

“Teenage girls get very grabby. And not necessarily in a good way either.” AJ said.

“Then go over there and sign some stuff before they announce to the entire park that you’re here.”

“We can’t sign fifteen autographs without looking obvious.”

“You won’t have to. Only about six will be real fans, and then like four or five will just get your autographs because they can, and why not. The other five will just go get in line for a ride.”

“How do you know?”

“Um, I know how girls work. Now go!”

“But,”

“Suck it up. You’re four grown men. Go face those mean teenage girls.” She was right. I’m manly enough for this. Maybe not to have embarrassing stories told about me, but I was definitely manly enough for this.

We walked over and Haley was exactly right about every number for each girl. Six were fans, five got our autographs just because they could and the other four left. How the fuck did she know?



After the impromptu signing session we went on three more rides. Then AJ begged to go on the carousel. Here we were four grown men riding pink and purple horsies! I must have no pride.

Then we were all hungry so we decided to leave the park and get food from somewhere. The only place we could all agree on was a pretty classy and expensive place. Yep, that’s right. McDonald’s. We sent Haley in to get our food and decided we would eat in the car just in case anyone else recognized us.

She came out five minutes after going in with all our food. The first person to finish was AJ so he chose to drive around while the rest of us finished eating. He drove in circles until we were done. We all wanted to go back to our hotel, but we were lost. And I mean like totally lost. It wasn’t until then that I wished the other guys weren’t’ here. I would have rather been lost with only Haley. At least she would make it fun.

We kept driving until we discovered a new road that we hadn’t turned onto yet. We tried that one and it was wrong too, except AJ spotted a mini golf course. Before I knew it we were playing mini fucking golf. I hated mini fucking golf. I was bad at it and I hated it. Actually I hated it because I was bad at it.

We were at the first hole and while AJ was bitching that his club was crooked and that was why the ball went off the course, Haley pulled me over.

“Nick,” she whispered. I loved it when she whispered. “I’ll make you feel manly once for every time you get a hole in one.” Fuck. She picks the one thing I’m horrible at! She couldn’t make me feel manly for every roller coaster I went on!

Next was y turn. I’d really have to concentrate. I had to get a hole in one. The hole was about ten feet from me and it was a straight shot. Probably couldn’t do it. I hit the ball, and thank God! It went in. I had never gotten a hole in one before in my life.

“Where did that come from Nick?” Brian asked.

“I had a little motivation.” Next Haley went. She got a hole in one too. She was just one of those people that are good at everything. At the next hole AJ was complaining that his ball wasn’t the right size or something so I pulled Haley over and whispered, “can I make you feel manly every time you get a hole in one?”

“I’m girl. I don’t want to feel manly.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Okay. Fine.”

“Good.” I ended up with two holes in one. Amazing what happens when you really care about how well you do. And, Haley got three. That was FIVE all together. Luck was so on my side today.

I looked over at Haley while she was laughing at something with Brian and I realized how pretty she really was. I loved her hair. And the way she smiled. I was just so glad she was here.

Haley Narrating

I was so glad I was here. I had had such a good time today. And I got to go make Nick feel manly five times. And he’d make sure it was at least five times too. I knew that. There would be no way it would end up being only four.

Then I looked behind us to see the girls that had saw us at the amusement park. They were just finishing their game of mini golf. I watched them get into their car and I saw a McDonald’s bag sitting in the back seat. Holy shit.

“Nick, I think those girls are following us.” He told the other guys what I just said, and we all figured out that they had been following us. I don’t know why. Maybe they wanted Kevin.

We got in the car and decided to try and avoid them. We got in and realized that if we drove to the hotel they would know where we were staying. So we tried to lose them AJ kept making crazy turns, and we all thought we were going to get pulled over. AJ said he was driving like a maniac to avoid the girls, but I think we all knew he just secretly liked to drive that way.

“AJ, why are they still following us?” Howie asked.

“I think the girl driving is just a better driver than me.”

“Oh good. Haley, any more ideas?”

“Just go to the hotel. They’ll figure out where you’re staying eventually. Besides, how many people can fit into that little car?”

“It’s not really just that car anymore.” Brian said. We all looked behind us to see seven or eight cars following us. “Do you have any ideas now?”

“Maybe we should have brought security.” I said.

CHAPTER 21

NICK NARRATING

“Haley?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You know that thing that Baylee asked us?”

“Whether or not I was your girlfriend?”

“Yeah. That.”

“What about it?”

“Well, are you?”

“What do you think?”

“I guess, yeah. You are.” Then as an afterthought I added, “unless you don’t want to be.”

“No. I do want to be.”

“Good.” She walked over and I kissed her before she got the chance to say anything else. I was so glad she wanted to be my girlfriend.



“So, you have stuff to do today right?” she asked me.

“Yeah. I’ve got a radio interview later. But that’s not until one.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

“You might want to double-check that then.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does. Now call Brian or something.” So, of course I did since she told me to. It’s not like I can so no. It’s just not part of my vocabulary. Brian told me I didn’t need to be anywhere until 12:45. I had a feeling it really was one though and he was just lying.

“It is at one.” I told Haley.

“Okay. What do you want to do until then?”

“You?”

“We can’t have sex for three hours.”

“Why not?”

“Let’s watch TV.”

“Fine.” We sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. We decided to watch something, but I wasn’t really paying any attention to it. I was busy thinking about how much things have changed since I met Haley. Two months ago if you had asked me if I’d ever get married I’d probably have said no. But now, I wasn’t so sure about that. I mean, I wouldn’t get married any time soon, but it didn’t seem so unreasonable anymore.

I guess Haley just made me feel normal and like I could have a normal life. I’d never felt that way before. I didn’t know what to do about it. It was so new to me. I didn’t understand it, but there was nothing I could do to change it.

And every time I looked at her I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. Her hair, and her eyes and everything. It always made me happy to look at her. I even liked just sitting there next to her while she watched TV. I mean, I even watched Bring it On with her. And I was sober. That was saying something. I couldn’t explain it because I didn’t understand it, but I knew I was going to have to do everything I could to not screw this up. It was going to be hard though. I never cared this much before about anyone.

HALEY NARRATING

So I was his girlfriend. I guess that made it official now. At first that scared me, but the more I think about it the more I start to like it. I knew I was falling way too fast, but I couldn’t help it. The more I tried to stop myself the harder I fell. There was no stopping it, so I finally gave up. Now I could honestly say I was Nick Carter’s girlfriend. Okay, still a little weird.

KEVIN NARRATING

“Kris, what do you think of Haley?”

“I think she’s good for him. And she seems really nice. It didn’t look like she was pretending either.”

“Yeah. I hope it works out between them. Nick just seems so happy with her. I’ve definitely noticed a change in him. Even since the day he met her, but more so after they got together.”

“He does seem very happy.”

“Yeah. He even flew out to her house as soon as he had time off. He surprised her.”

“Really? He doesn’t do that often.”

“He’s never done that.”

“I guess that tells you how he feels about her.”

“Suppose so. I just don’t want him to screw it up.”

“What makes you think he’ll screw this up?” I gave her a look. “Good point. But give him a little credit. Maybe he’s learned.”

“I sure hope so.”

BRIAN NARRATING

“Leigh, what do you think of Haley?”

“I thought she seemed really nice. I think she’ll be good for Nick.”

“Me too. He’s even happier now. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Well, I don’t either, but you can’t always be there telling him what to do. He needs to learn on his own.”

“I know. I just really want him to have someone like her in his life. And everyone seems to like her.”

“I know even Baylee.” Baylee had liked her. He talked about her the whole way home from dinner that night he’d met her.

“She was really nice to him.” I said.

“Yeah. She was.”

“I just want him-”

“I know. But there comes a time when there’s nothing you can do. If it’s meant to be it will work out. If it’s not, maybe he’ll learn from it. Grow from it.”

“But-”

“But nothing. You have to let him do this. I know Haley really likes him too, so at least they’re on the same page.”

“How do you know that Haley likes him too for sure?”

“I saw the way she looks at him.” Damn, women can be very perceptive sometimes.

NICK NARRATING

I got to the interview at exactly one o’clock. Haley did have a thing for people being on time. We started the interview and it was the same old, boring questions. A month ago I would have been annoyed, but these days I was just generally happier. All the things around me seemed better and easier, and I liked that.

Then something occurred to me in the middle of the what will the new album sound like question. Holy shit. I can’t believe it. That couldn’t be right. But it was. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize what was going on.




“FUCK OFF. EVERYONE!” I screamed. Why didn’t they believe me. Maybe I was right. Why did they always tell me what to do. They say they’re all older and they’ve all been there and I was wrong. “I’M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING WRONG! MAYBE FOR ONCE, I’M THE ONE WHO’S RIGHT.”

“Look Nick,” Howie started.

“NO HOWIE. I’M TIRED OF THAT. WHY DON’T YOU GUYS JUST BELIEVE ME? WHY ARE YOU ALL SO AGAINST THIS?” I was so mad. Why didn’t they agree with me. I told them so they could support me, but instead they told me I was totally crazy.

They didn’t understand. Everyone was different. Maybe this was my time to do what I had to do. “Look,” I said, “I’ll listen to what you guys had to say, but then I’m still going to do what I think is right.” That was a very mature answer. I was proud of myself. I usually didn’t give those.

“Nick,” Brian said, “I understand that you think you have to do this, and if you really think that then I support you, but I don’t think you should do it. It’s a rash decision and I think you need to think about it more.”

“I agree with everything Brian said”. Kevin said. “Maybe you should think about it for a few days and then deal with it.”

“I can’t. I can’t wait anymore. It’s the only answer.” I said.

“NO!” AJ and Howie were screaming. What? Howie didn’t yell.

“Nick, don’t do this!!!!!!” Maybe he did yell a little.

Then AJ stated his opinion. “Just wait man. Don’t do it yet. It’ll just end bad.” I walked out and headed for my hotel. Why didn’t they ever think that maybe I was right? Why didn’t they trust me? They always thought I was wrong immediately before even considering what it was like for me. I mean, why couldn’t they just support me?

By the time I reached the room I was furious. I stormed in the room and flopped myself on the bed.

HALEY NARRATING

“What’s wrong?” He never acted this way. Something was wrong. He had been fine when he’d left, so I knew it had to be something the guys said.

“Nothing.” He was lying. It was so obvious. He was a horrible liar.

“I know something’s wrong so just tell me.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay fine.” Be that way. Be in a horrible mood all night. See if I care.

“You know,” he said. I guess he did want to talk about it. “they don’t trust me. They never believe in me. I just wanted their support, but they won’t give it to me.” He had to mean the other four guys right? Why would he care what any other ‘they’ thought?

“What did you want the other guys to support you in?”

“I told them I wanted to say that- Never mind it’s stupid.” He was being obstinate.

“What? Tell me.”

“I already said it’s stupid. Now I don’t want to talk about it!!!” He was really pissy today wasn’t he?

“It can’t be that stupid. Just tell me.”

“NO!”

“WHY NOT?”

”BECAUSE.”

“WHY? WHAT WAS IT?!!”

“WHY DO YOU CARE?”

“BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOULSY IMPORTANT TO YOU SO I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU! SORRY I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!” Great, so now we were fighting. You know how some people think the first fight thing is sweet blah blah blah? Yeah, well I think it sucks. “JUST TELL ME WHAT IT WAS!!!!!” Why won’t he tell me?

“FINE!”

“WELL, WHAT WAS IT?”

“It was, nothing never mind.”

“TELL ME! HOW HARD COULD IT BE?”

“PRETTY HARD.”

“WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?”

“THAT I LOVE YOU.”

Nick Narrating

“What?” Shit. Why did I say that? The other guys were right. I never should have said it. It was way too soon. Why did I do it? And why wasn’t she saying anything back?

I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t planned to say it that way, so I just walked over and kissed her. She was kissing me back. That was good right? That had to mean she didn’t hate me right? She wasn’t going to leave right? I didn’t know what I would do if she left me. I mean I loved her.

I pulled back from the kiss. I looked right into her eyes. “I love you.” I said again.

“I love you too.” I had never been happier to hear anyone say that to me ever. I probably had the world’s dumbest smile on my face, but I didn’t care. I kissed her again, deeper than I ever had before. I couldn’t believe everything had worked out. I had been right. The guys were wrong.

And I loved my girlfriend. I loved her more than I knew you could love someone. And it scared the hell out of me. But I didn’t care. I loved her, and she loved me.

CHAPTER 22

NICK NARRATING

I wasn’t in a very good mood because Haley was in Massachusetts and I was still in California. We weren’t going to be back in Massachusetts for another three days. I wouldn’t see her for another three days. So you could say I was going completely crazy. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I hated that whenever I’d call her she’d have to be somewhere or whenever she called me (which wasn’t that often because she’s not completely dependent on me like I am with her) I had to be somewhere.

We had plans to meet each other in Massachusetts, but that was three days from now. I was fucking flipping out. I had no idea what to do with my free time. The past month or so I’d just spent every second of my free time with Haley. Now that was gone. What was I supposed to do?

I guess I could call one of the guys and see when we have to be wherever the fuck we needed to be. Nah. That would just involve working. I really wasn’t in the mood for that at all. I’d rather just sit in my room and feel sorry for myself. I was good at that.

HALEY NARRATING

I was at work. I hated work. I had really gotten used to just screwing around all day in California with Nick. Yesterday I had been with Nick and today I was at fucking work. That sucked. I so did not want to work. I would totally rather be with Nick. I was going crazy. And since last season was over, and the new season hadn’t really gotten started yet there wasn’t much to do at the gym. And my team didn’t even start practicing until September. I’d always hated starting practice so late. I never really understood it either.

Maybe I could leave early. There wasn’t much to do. Yeah. I was totally leaving early today. Then maybe I could just go home and sleep. I hadn’t really gotten that much sleep in California, so that actually sounded good.


NICK NARRATING

The next day I waltzed into an interview and basically acted like nothing new had happened. Or so I thought.

“So what’s going on?” Kevin asked. Damn, I really did suck at hiding things didn’t I? Haley had been right about that. I cannot hide a damn thing.

“Nothing.” I said.

“We don’t have time for you to be lying so please hurry up and tell us what happened.”

“Nothing happened. Nothing’s new and I told Haley I loved her and she said it back so you were all wrong and I was right so fuck you all and you should have trusted me.” That felt really good to shove in their faces. I really enjoyed that. Probably a little more than I should have, but oh well. Now they were all just sitting there staring at me. Apparently I just spoke Chinese or something because none of them seemed capable of wrapping their heads around the idea that I had been right. I’ll give them that it doesn’t happen very often, but it did this time.

“So,” Kevin said, “you told Haley you loved her?”

“Yes.” Now they were getting it. Then they kept staring at me for like ten full minutes. It was starting to really get annoying. “Get there faster!”

“So you love her and she loves you.”

“Yes.” All four of them busted into smiles. They must just like sit at home and talk about me with whoever would listen. Didn’t they have anything better to do? I was 25 I could take care of myself. Well, Haley could take care of me.

“Congratulations man.” Kevin said. “I’m happy for you.”

“Me too.” AJ said “I wouldn’t have said anything so soon, but obviously you were right, so I’m just happy for you.”

“So am I.” Brian said. “You really deserve this.”

“Yeah.” Howie said. “You really do. It’s about time you were happy again. Is whiny Nicky gonna go away now?”

“No.” I said. “Then what would I do for fun?”

“You’re always gonna be whining aren’t you?”

“Yes I am.”



HALEY NARRATING

I got off the plane and didn’t even bother going to my apartment. I just went straight to Melissa’s and then called Danielle and Jen so I could tell everyone at the same time. Eventually everyone got to Mel’s house and I started with my story.

“You all know how I went to California right?”

“Of course. Hurry up.” Danielle never had been the patient one had she?

“Well, I was there for about,”

“Dammit Haley, we know how long you were there now shut up and tell us what the fuck happened. I need to know if there’s anyone I need to beat up. I mean, if I have to fly to California, then I have to go book a flight.”

“No. You don’t have to beat anyone up Danielle. And you shut up and let me tell you the story at my own pace.”

“Fine. Now what happened?”

“Okay. Well, Nick told me he loved me.”

Then there were about ten minutes of blank stares then everyone started screaming questions at me.

“DID YOU SAY IT BACK?”

“BUT YOU’VE ONLY BEEN GOING OUT FOR LIKE THREE WEEKS!”

“HOW DID HE SAY IT?”

“EVERBODY STOP!!!!” I screamed. “First of all, I know it’s fast, and yes, I did say it back.” Then they all jumped up and started hugging me and screaming and jumping around the room.

“Wait.” Jen said. “How did he say it?”

“Well, he went to some interview and then when he came back in a really bad mood because he had told the other four guys that he wanted to tell me that he loved me, but they all told him not to because it was so soon and everything. And he was really upset that they didn’t trust him so I asked him what was wrong and he kept saying nothing.”

“Hurry up!”

“Okay. Well, we got into a huge fight about what he wanted to say and he kept saying nothing and it was just stupid. But obviously by then I had to know what it was so I wouldn’t let it go and then he screamed that he loved me.”

Then everyone jumped up and down again. They kept jumping up and down too for at least fifteen minutes.



BRIAN NARRATING

I was so happy for Nick. And Haley wasn’t a bitch, so that was obviously a plus. We all actually approved, which really never happened. And Baylee liked her. Now that she was going to be around for a while I’m sure Baylee’s going to have a lot of stories to tell her. He always seemed to have a story to tell.

“Leigh, guess what!” I screamed into the phone as soon as Nick left.

“What?”

“Nick told Haley he loved her and she said it back. They’re in love! And she’s not a bitch!”

“Oh, that’s so good. Is he happy?”

“Thrilled.”

“Good. And I’m going to ignore the fact that you’re practically happier over this than you were when we got married.”

“Leigh-”

“I’m just kidding. You tell him that I said congratulations okay?”

“Sure.” I was so happy. It was pathetic. I shouldn’t be this happy about something that didn’t even happen to me. Truth was, I was so happy for Nick it seemed like it did happen to me. I guess I knew that if he wasn’t happy then he would just keep whining. And we all liked Haley. She seemed to really balance him out. Like he was kinda dumb sometimes, and Haley was freakishly smart. And Nick acted like he was two and Haley actually acted like she had made it past her fifth birthday. Yeah, she was definitely good for him. I think she’s better for him than any of his other girlfriends before her. That kinda made me feel really old.

HALEY NARRATING

I was still talking with my friends when I got a call on my cell phone. I didn’t recognize the number, but I answered it anyway.

“Haley? It’s Kevin.”

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Well, normally I don’t like to meddle, but I just wanted to say that if you and Nick end up breaking up, not that I think you will, well, and not that I think you won’t, I’m just say if you were to break up whether it be tomorrow or fifty years from now-”

“Kevin.”

“Just, if you say anything incorrect or that you made up-”

“Well, I don’t plan on doing that.”

“I know. And I wouldn’t expect you to, but after everything that’s happened I just always like to take extra precautions to avoid him going through what he went through before.”

“I understand. But you don’t have to worry about me. I won’t make anything up for publicity. I promise. And if I do you can sue me or whatever you want.”

“Okay. Now, I also wanted to say congratulations.”

MEANWHILE…NICK NARRATING

I got a call on my cell phone at about the same time that Kevin stepped away to call Kristin. I didn’t recognize the number, but last time I had answered an unfamiliar number it had been Haley and that had actually worked out, so I answered.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hi. It’s Danielle.”

“Hi.”

“Now, I know I threatened you and everything before you went on your first date, but I’m going to do it again because I didn’t really expect this to go anywhere, but obviously it did, so I have more to say.”

“Okay.”

“Basically if you make her cry for any reason other than how sweet and perfect you are I will hurt you. And like I said before it will physically hurt. Sound good?”

“Well, I’m not going to hurt her.” I was determined not to. “I love her, and I’ll do whatever I can to make her happy.”

“Okay, I’m going to test you on that.”

“How?”

“Well, say Haley asked you to quit the group would you do it?”

“Well,” shit. Of course I wouldn’t. But that would be failing the test. But I couldn’t lie or apparently I’d be shot. “No. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t throw that away no matter who wanted me to unless I agreed with their reasons.” There. At least there was a loop hole.

“Good answer. Haley would never let you quit anyway. If she could have it her way you guys would be making music when you’re eighty. Next question. Say you guys had a huge fight and you still didn’t think you were wrong, but it’s obvious Haley’s not going to apologize. What do you do?”

Fuck. I don’t know. This was a hard test. I was never good at tests either. “Well, honestly I don’t know. If it was something stupid I’d probably just apologize, but if it was something that really mattered to me, I’d probably wait until we came to an agreement. But it would just depend on what the fight was about.”

“That’s respectable. Now, last thing. Say you two were to get married. Not that you have to or anything, just hypothetically, and Haley wanted to have a huge wedding. But she wanted you to pay for it. Would you?”

“Well, yeah. If it would make her happy. I mean, I could afford it so why not?”

“Well, I’d have to call you one whipped motherfucker if you did that, but she wouldn’t make you do that anyway and you passed the test, but you better really love her.”

“I do. I really, really do.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet! I have to say I didn’t expect you two to fall in love. I mean sure I expected you to hook up, but not to fall in love. This is so cool!” She sounded more excited than Haley did. I didn’t really know if that was good or bad.

“Well, I didn’t expect it either. But I have to go now. I’m going to call Haley when I’m done here.”

“Well, unless it’s about six hours from now, me, Jen, and Melissa will still be here freaking out.”

That I believed. “Okay. Bye.”

Wow. That was um, interesting. Everything I said was true though. I really was going to have to really try and not fuck this up. But I kinda knew I probably would. I fucked everything else up. It was only a matter of time. NO! Stop it Carter. Be positive. Just don’t sleep with some random girl or anything and it’ll all work out. I hope.

CHAPTER 23

NICK NARRATING

I had never been happier to get off a plane in Massachusetts in my life. I had seriously been going crazy those last three days when Haley was back in Massachusetts and I was still in California. I didn’t even bother going to our hotel. I just went straight to Haley’s apartment. It was so much easier to find her apartment after I actually knew where she lived. Last time I had come I had had no idea where I was going and to top it off I had been terrified at what she was going to do.

I flew up the stairs to her floor and knocked on the door. I had done that last time too; it was just a lot harder with luggage. She opened the door after I knocked one time. I dropped my bags when she opened the door. What a dumbfuck am I? I just fucking dropped all my luggage because I thought she was so hot. So of course I kissed her before she could make fun of me. I slammed the door behind me and left all my bags outside. Probably not the smartest thing, but I was too preoccupied with sticking my tongue down my hot girlfriend’s throat to care about my luggage.

“I missed you.” I said.

“I missed you too.”

“I love you.” I should probably think of some other things to say huh? Oh well. Kissing works just as well. So obviously that’s what I did.

“I love you too.” That was still good to hear. So I kissed her again. But you probably could have guessed that because that was my usual course of action.

“Can we go into the bedroom now?”

“No.”

“What why not?”

“Because there are no sheets on my bed.”

“Why? How do you sleep without sheets?”

“I don’t. I put them on again before I go to bed. But I’m washing them now. Well, Jen is. I usually make her do my laundry.” I didn’t exactly hide my disappointment I guess. “I never said we couldn’t use the couch.”

I smiled like an idiot. I did a lot of that when I was around her. Love made me look like an asshole didn’t it? Oh well. We could blame Haley for that then.





“Hurry up.” She said.

“Why?”

“Because we have the meeting in half an hour.”

“What meeting?”

“The meeting about what promotion we have to do for you guys.”

“I forgot you guys had to do that.”

“So did I. Until Melissa told me about it again this morning. Now hurry up. We can’t be late.”

“Fine.” I hated having meetings. And I hated work. I would so rather just stay here with Haley at her house. I loved her house. I never really spent time in places like this. But I loved it. “Haley?”

“Yeah?”

“You know they’re gonna ask about us right?”

“Yeah. That one I kind of figured out on my own.”

“So what are we gonna tell them?”

“I don’t know. I personally don’t really care. I don’t exactly have much experience in dating celebrities.”

“Right. Well, we can either keep it a secret, tell people, or just wait until they all find out for themselves.”

“Let’s go with the last option. It seems to make the most sense.”

“Okay.” At least that was cleared up. Last time we hadn’t talked about that the two year old totally called us on it.



We walked into the meeting ready to deal with all the promotion bullshit that I hated doing. Maybe the girls could dress up like us and do it all for us. No, that wouldn’t work. What if Haley dressed up as like Kevin, and then I kissed her and someone got a picture. That might just send the wrong message. And I wouldn’t want to kiss anyone dressed up like Kevin anyway. That’s just plain wrong.

Once everyone was sitting down Shauna started explaining what everyone would have to do. As usual I tuned it out. Only now I could ask Kevin OR Haley where I needed to be. I didn’t pay attention to the first forty minutes of the meeting. And Shauna didn’t say much to me because, well, let’s just say things had been a little awkward ever since the bus incident. She must have just thought I was so good and now she was jealous of Haley. Poor Shauna.

HALEY NARRATING

Their publicist had a lot to say. Except to Nick. It seemed to me that Nick had slept with her. It wouldn’t surprise me. But anyway, apparently only five members from our team would be doing promotion. Obviously that would be me, Danielle, Jen, Melissa, and Jess. Good. Now I got to spend even more time with her. That was just my ideal way to spend time.

Basically we’d be doing mostly radio interviews and a few interviews with magazines. Nothing really interesting happened at the meeting until we were about to leave. Then Shauna had one more thing to say.

“Just so you know, pretty much everyone knows about Haley and Nick because people got pictures of them on a date, getting out of a limo, and of Nick going to a bunch of stores with her.”

I didn’t really know if that was bad or good. Either way, I guess it doesn’t matter.

NICK NARRATING

Shit. That probably wasn’t good. I bet Haley was mad. I wouldn’t like that if I were her. She’s going to hate me after this. We left the meeting and I’d tell you what happened, but I wasn’t paying attention, so I can’t.

Me and Haley got into her car and drove back to her apartment. “I’m really sorry people found out so soon.” I said.

“It’s okay. It’s not like they were never going to find out. We couldn’t keep it a secret forever. But I do want to go home and go to a few websites…”

What? Websites?


HALEY NARRATING

Perfect. The first message board itself had eight threads about Nick’s New Girlfriend, and two about Nick’s New Whore.

“Hey Nick, I’m your new whore!!!”

“What?”

“That’s what the message boards are calling me. I’m your new whore.”

“Look Haley, don’t take that personally-”

“No, this is probably the thing I was looking forward to the most. I love reading all this.”

“So instead of looking forward to having a new, healthy relationship or something you were looking forward to reading what the obsessive fans write about you?”

“Pretty much yeah.” On the next message board there were more phrases. “Nick, on this site I’m your fuck of the week!” This was fun.

“Really?”

“Yeah. And in another thread I’m your next Paris! This is fun. You should come read this with me.”

“Is that seriously your only form of entertainment?”

“No. It’s just the best one at the moment.”

“I could give you another form right now.”

“Not yet. I have two more sites to go to and then you can entertain me.”

“Fine.” He said as he walked in to read what the websites said. “Our fans are nuts.”

“If you’re just figuring that out now you really need to get your head checked or something. They’ve been this crazy for about eight years. At least.”

“I try not to think about it. It kinda scares the crap out of me to think about it.”

“That I can understand. It would probably scare me too.” That really would suck. I wouldn’t want people naming my boobs like they named Nick’s dick. That would kinda freak me out. I guess he had a point.

I went to three more websites (and yes I did have to search for them. I’m not quite as obsessive as Danielle thinks I am.) before I found what I was looking for. Thirty-two threads about Nick’s new girlfriend (or blond whore, fuck of week/day/month, publicity whore, and my favorite, the Paris of 2005.)

I kinda felt bad because Nick was cringing as he read every word, but I just thought it was really funny. And I mean really, really funny. I was trying not to roll on the floor.

NICK NARRATING

Our fans were scary. They didn’t even know Haley and they were calling her all these cruel names. It wasn’t fair to her or me. I just wished they weren’t so mean. I was afraid that Haley was going to get all freaked out. She might not be freaked out now, but in three months or something the fans might get to her. I didn’t want that to happen.

Why was she laughing. This wasn’t funny. She had four death threats. Weren’t death threats supposed to be taken seriously? I guess not when they came through the Internet from thirteen year old girls jealous of you because you were a Backstreet Boy’s girlfriend. At least she wasn’t freaking out. This was better than her being terrified and leaving me. That would suck.

We read through another three websites and then opened a thread entitled Nick’s New Slut. People really weren’t that creative with their thread titles were they? If you have enough time to post on one of these sites you should have enough time to be creative. Anyway, we read through it, and it was probably the meanest one we’ve read so far.

It basically covered all the bases. New whore, new Paris, everything. Except it was all a lot meaner than the other ones. Every time someone would defend her, this same girl would jump in and bitch Haley out again. I really hoped Haley wouldn’t freak out. She seemed okay so far. But you never know.

She seemed to really be getting really pissed off. I didn’t understand it. Throughout the rest of the websites she had been fine. Even though this particular girl was really mean and bitchy about everything it shouldn’t make her this much madder than the other ones had. Maybe a little, but not this much.

Before I knew what was going on Haley had the phone in her hand and dialed. Her hands flew over the numbers without even looking at them.

HALEY NARRATING

What a bitch. I mean, it was kind of funny, but it was still bitchy.

“Dammit Danielle, why would you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Don’t fucking play innocent Danielle.” Maybe it was a little bit funny.

“Fine. I thought it would be funny.”

“It’s not.”

“Don’t lie. Why would a lying, cheating, bed hopping whore lie?”

“Fine. It’s a little funny.”

“I know.”

“But why did you do that?”

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again. I thought it would be really funny.” As she was saying that Nick ripped the phone out of my hand.

NICK NARRATING

“Why the fuck would you do that? Isn’t Haley like, your best friend?”

“Of course.”

“Then why would you say all those mean things about her?”

“Because I thought it would be funny. Am I going to have to recap the entire conversation I had with Haley with you?”

“It’s not funny. It’s mean. And it got everyone else on that site all riled up and everyone on there’s against Haley now.”

“So what? Someone had to do it. If it wasn’t me it just would have been someone else.”

“But it was still mean. And what if Haley hadn’t figured out that it was you? How did you do that by the way?” I said to Haley.

“Look at the name of the person who wrote it.” She said. “Dancegirl 415. It was pretty obvious.”

“See,” Danielle said, “I made sure she’d be able to figure it out.”

“But still.”

“Look, it’ll make you feel better I’ll go on and say that I met her and that she’s really nice.”

“Good. You better go do it now.”

“Fine. But I have to say that I’m glad you’re so protective. That’s good to see.”

“Okay.”

“You take care of her. I’m going to hang up now and let you go feel manly or something.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Girls tell each other pretty much everything.”

“Oh.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” I guess I should have guessed that.

“Danielle’s going to go online and say that she met you and that you’re actually nice.”

“She doesn’t have to do that. I don’t care what people say about me. Especially on the Internet.”

“I know. But I do care.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

CHAPTER 24

HALEY NARRATING

Okay, this was kind of weird. I’m not going to lie and tell you it was cool. It was just fucking weird. We were about ready to do a radio interview at Z100 with all the guys. Recently it had been decided that only five of us would be doing promotion because an entire team would be too much. Had to suck for everyone else on the team huh? Oh well, not my problem.

We were almost ready to go on the air and I had no idea what to expect. Were we going to be answering questions or were they? I mean a girl could really do with a little more information here.

“Okay,” said some radio station guy, “we go on the air in two minutes.” Shit.




“So guys,” said the DJ, “tell us why there are five gorgeous ladies with us today.”

“Well,” of course Kevin answered, “we chose to sponsor a sport, and we decided on cheerleading. At one competition a few months ago whoever won got a $5,000 prize from us for their gym.”

“And these guys won?”

“Yes. Their team the Southington Cyclones All-stars won and these-”

“Yeah we won.” Danielle said. Great she’d totally cut Kevin off. That was a spectacular way to start the interview. “We’re just that good.”

“Danielle!” I said. Shit. I had kind of been planning on not talking throughout this interview. Well, I was doing an awesome job at that now wasn’t I?

“What?” Great now I had to respond.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because we are that good. Calm down I’m only kidding. We work hard, probably just as hard if not harder than other athletes.” That was better. Although she did kind of answer right the first time too. We are pretty damn good.

“Okay. Moving on.” Said the DJ. “Now I have to ask, why cheerleading?”

“Well,” oh now it was Howie. That was an interesting twist. “although we have some male fans most of our fan base is female, and cheerleading is also predominately female, so we thought it was the perfect sport to sponsor.”

“Now hold on.” Shit. Danielle was talking. Not again. Fuck. We were destined to look stupid in this interview weren’t we? She had a point to prove too. You could tell. “You have to understand that cheerleading isn’t a bunch of stupid blond people jumping up and down for football players anymore. We work hard and we’re not stupid. We don’t even cheer at games. A lot of us used to in high school or something, and most of us hated the games because they were boring. We like competing much better.”

I better start talking before Danielle doesn’t stop. “Yeah. Competing is a lot more fun. Especially when you win.” I don’t know why I said that. I just had to shut Danielle up or we’d be kicked out.

“I can understand that.” Said the DJ. “Now, we’ve got the boring questions you’ve all answered a million times, but we gotta ask, what’s the new album like?” Fuck if I know. I’ll let the guys answer this.

“Well,” oooh, Brian. They’re really broadening their horizons now. “it’s basically grown up Backstreet Boys. It’s still pop, but it’s got more of a rockier twist to it.”

They kept answering boring questions that all the fans probably already knew the answers to from downloading other interviews, but oh well. We didn’t have to talk much about it because we didn’t know the answers. Well, I knew some of the answers because I downloaded an interview or two myself, but hey there wasn’t much to do in the hotel room when you have to compete the next day so you’re in bed at like eleven. I was bored what can I say?

“Brian, you’re a Backstreet Dad now am I correct?” blah blah blah.

“What were you doing over the break?” Better question for Nick would be who were you doing over the break. When they asked this question you know who answered? Nick. I was shocked too. Couldn’t believe he actually knew the answers. Not just for himself too, for all of them. That’s how many times they’d answered that question. NICK knew the answer.

“Why did you call the album Never Gone?” Why the fuck do you think? Maybe because they took a break. Or maybe because they have a song called that. Nope. Couldn’t be it. Then Kevin answered. (it was a vicious cycle. I finally had the others talking and Kevin just can’t tear himself away). Oh. My. God. I was right. Those were the reasons. Who would have thought.

Things started to get interesting when…

“Now,” said the DJ, “everyone’s wondering five cheerleaders, three single guys. There’s gotta be something going on. Someone has to have hooked up.”

SHIT.

Nick Narrating

FUCK!

Brian Narrating

SHIT.

Kevin Narrating

DAMMIT. I knew the little prick shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. Too many questions.

Howie Narrating

Uh. Oh!

AJ Narrating

Now, this is some funny shit right here. This just made my fucking day.

HALEY NARRATING

“I see some panicked looks here. What’s up with that?” Nick and Kevin were just looking at each other like oh fuck. Well, that’s how Nick was looking at Kevin. Kevin was pretty much looking at Nick like you dumbass. And since I was sitting next to AJ I just looked at him and we started laughing. I mean, what else are you going to do?

“I see a little something between Haley and AJ.” Said the DJ. What do I say? Seriously. Nick come on say something. You’re the experienced one at this. You just answered one question. Let’s go big. Let’s go for two in one interview.

Instead AJ just put his arm around me and said, “Hell yes.”

“Fuck you!” Nick said.

“Nick! You’re on the radio. You can’t say that!” Kevin said.

“Shit. Oh fuck.” He did not learn very fast did he?”

“You um, wanna clue us into the things going on behind the scenes here?”

Good Kevin was about to answer. Because apparently if Nick answered he’s just be swearing the whole time. It was pretty funny though if you want the truth. Although I think Kevin is going to physically hurt him in every way he can imagine as soon as he walks out the door. Asking about me was one thing, but then the swearing kind of made Kevin a little angry. I just can’t seem to understand why.

“Well, Nick and Haley have been dating for about a month or so now.”

“Really?” said the DJ, “that is very interesting.”

“I just have the most amazing story to tell you guys.” AJ said.

NICK NARRATING

That fucker. I couldn’t believe he was going to actually tell the story. Fine. Then for another interview I was going to have to dream up something about AJ to tell. Maybe Haley would help me humiliate him somehow. Yeah, no she wouldn’t do that. I only would because I still act like I’m ten years old, but oh well.

“Really, what’s that?” the DJ asked.

“It’s the description of their first date. I’ll start with how he asked her out. First he came to all of us individually for advice on that. He couldn’t do it on his own. My role was to pretend one of her friends left a jacket at one of our shows that they went had gone to. Haley would come over and get it. But it was just some random jacket that was a youth medium, so Haley totally saw right through it. That’s what you get for having a girlfriend that’s smarter than you Nicky.”

Now he is just starting to piss me off. What a little fuck. I didn’t know Haley had figured that out. Now I just felt stupid.

“And then when he did go on the date they had nothing to talk about, so Haley decided to hi-jack the limo and rent Bring It On. So Nick’s sitting here watching Bring It On and that part where the girl’s having cheer sex with the guy in the stands comes on-”

“How do you know about the cheer sex part?” I asked. Maybe I could change the subject.

“It’s Bring It On, my favorite movie. Of course I know about the cheer sex part. So then Nick asked Haley if she would have cheer sex with him, and she was like whatever, so Nick asks what about real sex?”

“I didn’t mean to. It just kinda slipped out!”

“Of course it did. So finally the movie ends and they decide to go get ice cream. They’re sitting peacefully eating ice cream when Nick notices a few girls who recognized him. Instead of just signing something or taking a picture he grabbed Haley and started running. The girls caught on and started chasing them. So Haley managed to devise a plan to lose them and they went back to the limo where Nick soon realized that he was already late for our show that night. So Haley had to drive him to the show. And that was their first date.”

AJ NARRATING

Well, that was fun. I should be a story teller.

HALEY NARRATING

It did sound pretty bad.

Then the DJ asked, “and you went on a second date. You got lucky Nick.”

“I know.” He said.

“Seriously Haley, why did you take the second date if the first one was so bad?” I started to answer when Danielle answered first.

“Look at him. He’s hot. Hell I’d have taken the second date.”




NICK NARRATING

So the interview was over and I was looking for AJ to go beat the shit out of him. He’s small. I could take him. Instead Kevin came over to me.

“You’re a fucking idiot Nick!”

“What?”

“You said fuck on the radio.”

“Oh yeah. Woops.”

“Woops? Is that all you have to say?”

“Um, yeah that pretty much sums it up.”

“You had more to say during the interview. I mean, you said fuck you, oh shit, and to top it off in case someone hadn’t noticed it the first two times you felt it necessary to say fuck, yet again!”

“Alright, I’ll admit that was kinda bad. But I gotta go now.” With that I just started running. I mean, I just booked it right out of there and away from Kevin. He scared me when he was like this.

While I was running I ran right into AJ. So I kinda just smacked him upside the head a little bit.

“What the fuck Nick?”

“You fucking told the story. I can’t believe you. And you didn’t even leave out the part where I asked you guys for help! You made me sound like a total asshole.”

“Yeah, well that was the idea.”

“Well, it worked.”

“Also the idea. Hey by the way, I was thinking after I get tired of this music thing I could become a professional story teller. Sounds fun doesn’t it? I can tell embarrassing stories about you and the other guys, but of course mostly about you. Only because I enjoy bugging the living shit out of you.”

“You do it so well to.”

“Aw, thank you Nicky!”


Then I found Haley and I left because I was getting really pissed off.

“Haley, was the swearing thing bad?”

“Not the first time. But come the second and third it probably wasn’t your best choice of words.”

“That’s what I was afraid of. Kevin’s already yelled at me.”

“I don’t think he’s done.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s running at full speed toward you.”

“That could mean anything.”

“No, it really could only mean he’s really pissed off.”

“Yeah you’re right. Wishful thinking.”




“Haley, can I ask you something?” I asked.

“Sure. What?”

“Why did you take the second date with me? I mean, wasn’t the first one kind of a disaster?”

“Not kind of. It was a total and complete disaster. Like a hurricane combined with a tornado combined with a-”

“I get it. But seriously, why didn’t you just like ignore me after that? Hell, I would have never spoken to me again. I mean you had to drive me to my show.”

“I know. Would you like to relive it again because if we’re going to I’m going to go pop some popcorn.”

“No, I don’t need to think about that again ever. So why did you go on the second date. You never answered me.”

“Because I liked you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. A lot.”

CHAPTER 25

MELISSA NARRATING

“Haley, ass in car now!” I screamed. “Everyone else is here. Hurry the fuck up!”

“I’m here. Calm down. We’re not even late.”

“I know, but I didn’t know how else to get you down here.”

“I can tell time. I’m not stupid you know.”

“I know. Just get in the car okay?”

“Fine. I didn’t know you were looking forward to this so much.”

“I am totally looking forward to this photo shoot.” Said Jess. Yes we were doing a photo fucking shoot. None of us could believe it either. “Think about it. I get to go spend like three hours with AJ.”

“I’m sure he’s just as thrilled as you are too.” Said Haley.

“You really think so?”

“Oh yeah. Who wouldn’t be?”

“I’m so excited!!”

NICK NARRATING

This was kinda fucked up. I mean, who does a photo shoot with five girls from a cheerleading team? I don’t care if one of them is my girlfriend it was still the worst idea ever. Who’s gonna buy fucking poster with us and then five random girls on it too? It was just stupid.

“When are they getting here?” I asked.

“About twenty minutes ago.” Brian said.

“Seriously?”

“No I made it up to see what you’d say. Of course I’m serious. They’re all getting dressed. Although all they have to do is put on their uniforms and put on their competition make up. Considering they came with that on they’re probably done getting dressed.”

“Thanks Brian.” I said. I went back to where all the dressing rooms were. I was bored so as usual I went to find Haley. What else was I going to do if I was bored? Sit with the rest of the guys while Kevin yelled at me for something I couldn’t even remember doing? Yeah right.

“Haley?” I called out just kind of hoping I was in the right spot.

“Yeah?” she called from behind a door.

“Where are you guys?”

“The dressing room. But we’re done you can come in.”

“Okay. Where’s the dressing room?” She stuck her hand out of the door next to me.

“Right here dumbass. There’s a fucking sign taped to the door that says dressing room in three inch letters.”

“Guess I missed it.”

“You’re a blind fucker.”

“If he were blind he wouldn’t practically have a hard on now.” Danielle said.

“I do not have a hard on!”

“Not yet.”

“Shut up.”

“Nice comeback. You’re not even making this fun.”



NICK NARRATING

This was weird. The photographer was first of all the gayest person I had ever met. And I had met some really gay people. He kept gushing over how fabulous we looked. Not the girls either. The five of us. Mainly me. It was fucking creepy.

We finally had a break after what seemed like hours of this photographer screeching, “that’s fabulous Nick. You are just so sexy.” I mean shit. It was really creeping me out.

“That photographer thinks you’re sexy!” said AJ.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sure the photographer would love to. Although I’m sure you would be his first choice. I suppose he would settle for me if he had to.”

“You have problems man.”

“Stop making things up Nicky.” What the fuck? Oh, Jess was here. Super. I’ve been around that photographer way too long. I gotta stop saying that. “He’s perfect just the way he is.”

She was walking over cooing at him and everything. “I’ve gotta go.” Said AJ. With that he literally took off running. Not that it did much good, because she just ran right after him, but you gotta give him credit for trying.

Then Haley came over so naturally AJ was completely forgotten. I mean think about it, some guy you’ve known for like a hundred years, or the hot new girlfriend? Who would you remember? That’s what I thought.

“Hey.” I said.

“Hi. So, I saw Jess chasing AJ through the building.”

“Yeah. She’s kinda nuts. Why are you friends with her? No offense.”

“No I don’t know. She used to be normal.”

“Ok.”

“Just if you see AJ tell him that if Jess is ever chasing him not to go into a bathroom. She takes that as an invitation.”

“Ok. Good to know. What if he locked himself in a stall?”

“She’d crawl under.”

“Seriously?”

“You really don’t know anything about her if you don’t believe that she’d crawl on a bathroom floor for sex.”

“Guess not.”

“All my bitches!!” Danielle screamed from about ten feet away while she was walking towards us.

“Hey.” I said. “What’s up?”

“I just saw AJ hiding from Jess under a table. So I told him to go into the bathroom.”

“You’re mean.” Haley said.

“I know, but it’s fun.” She said. “Do you know where Jen and Melissa are?”

“No why?”

“Because I want to see if Jen has her camera so I can take pictures of Jess terrorizing AJ. That way I can relive it day after day. Ok, well I gotta go find her. Bye.”

“You’re friends are all crazy.” I said.

“That’s not true. Melissa’s not totally nuts. Just a little bit.”

“Well, she’s the only one.”

“Yeah. So you wanna go to the bathroom and watch Jess chase AJ?”

“Definitely.”

“K. Let’s go.”

AJ NARRATING

This girl is fucking crazy. Not crazy. Like literally she was fucking crazy. She needed help. I think she was a sex addict. Oh well. All I have to do is get to the bathroom. That’s what Danielle told me.

There it was. I’ve never been happier to see a bathroom in my entire life. She definitely saw me go in too. So I should be safe. Well, just in case I better go lock myself in one of the stalls. That way the only way she’d get to me is if she crawled under the door.

I went into the first stall and waited. I heard the door open.

“AJ,” holy shit. She fucking followed me into the men’s bathroom. This was just weird. “where are you AJ? Oh there you are. Right in the stall. I’d recognize those beautiful shoes anywhere.”

Fuck. This is fucked up. Oh well. If I stayed in here long enough she’ll have to leave sooner or later.

“AJ?” Do I answer? I really have no idea what to do. Believe it or not I’ve never actually been in this situation before. No one else I know is this insane. “AJ?”

“Yeah?” I said reluctantly.

“What are you doing in there?”

“Uh,”

“How about I just come see you.” What? How would she do that? HOLY FUCK SHE IS FUCKING CRAWLING UNDER THE FUCKING DOOR. That is just crossing a line that no one should ever cross. I have to escape. I can’t go out the door or under the door for obvious reasons. That left…

I hopped on top of the toilet and pulled myself up on top of the door. Yes, I was fucking crawling on top of a bathroom door. I was in the process of turning around when Jess started yelling at me. “AJ what are you doing?” Surprisingly I had no answer. “Get down from there right now and come have sex with me!!! I mean. Get down from that door. You might get hurt sweetie.”

I didn’t move because I was just so shocked that she first of all, chased me throughout the entire building, followed me into a men’s bathroom, and crawled under the door to the stall I didn’t know what else to do.

Apparently that made her mad so she unlocked the door and shoved it open. At that exact moment the other four guys and the other four girls came running into the bathroom. I was totally never going to live this down was I?

NICK NARRATING

“What the fuck is going on man?” I asked.

“He won’t have sex with me. He keeps running away!” Jess screamed. Then she started pushing the door. So now AJ is not only on top of the bathroom door, is now swinging back and forth on it. This was fucking amazing. I would never forget the sight before my very eyes.

“Quit fucking laughing and do something to help me!” Then Jess started kicking the door so it swung faster. We all know AJ doesn’t like big rides, so he started screaming. Totally started screaming. Like a little girl too. This was just great.

“Danielle, you are so mean.” Haley said laughing.

“You knew she would follow me in here Danielle?”

“Well, yeah. I did.”

“So I can blame you for the fact that I am straddling a bathroom door? Great. Very glad to hear that.”

All I could do was laugh. It was just plain funny. I don’t know. Just there’s something about seeing one of your best friends squirming on top of a bathroom door. It was just a perfect way to spend the afternoon.

“Jess, I cannot have sex with you!”

“Why not?”

“Because um, because well, I , I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet. What’s her name?”

“Uh, Greta. Greta Floofinloggin.” Greta Floofinloggin. It just got better by the second.

“Oh, well if you had told me that I wouldn’t have chased you in here. Tell her hello for me.”

“Will do.”



After we finally managed to get AJ down from the stall door we had to get back to work. Throughout the second half of the day the photographer was a little less interested in me and a little more interested in AJ. The creepy part was AJ was totally going with it. He didn’t even seem creeped out at all.

“AJ,” said the photographer, “maybe after we’re done here you could sing to me.”

“Sure man. Sounds great.”



After the photo shoot…

“Oh AJ, you didn’t forget that you promised to sing to me right?”

“How could I forget.”

“We know each other so well now.”

“Yeah. I’d say so.”

“But there’s gotta be at least one thing you don’t know about me.”

“Probably. I’m gonna just start singing now.”

“NO! First, come up with a question so you get to know me a little better.”

“Ok. What’s your favorite color?”

“A little more personal.” Okay. Why did he put emphasis on the personal? This was freaky. Why wasn’t AJ disturbed? That’s what scared me the most.

“Ok. Fine. What’s your favorite movie?”

“Oh, without a doubt, Spice World. I tear up just thinking about it.” He said waving his hand in front of his face like he was crying. This was just fucked up.

“Uh huh. K I’m just gonna sing now if that’s alright.”

“That would be just swell.”

“Okay.” So AJ started skipping, yes I said skipping around him in circles singing. “If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy. Come on sugar, let me know. If you really need me just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me so!!!!!!!!”

And with that he took off running and everyone else just followed him. Well, that was why AJ hadn’t been freaked out. He’d had a plan to do that. A plan he had apparently had for hours. He really has way too much time on his hands. Who thinks of something like that? Only AJ I guess.

AJ NARRATING

“See Nicky,” I said, “you don’t have to get freaked out by gay people that think you’re hot. You just gotta have some fun with them.”

“Not too much fun.” Danielle said.

“You have a dirty mind.” Haley said.

“Yes I do. And I’m proud of it. And you love it. It makes you laugh.”

“Oh, by the way Danielle. I do have to do something to get back at you for leading me into your little trap.” I said.

“What trap?” she asked innocently.

“Bullshit. You know what I’m talking about.”

“You know, I thought you straddling the stall door was extremely attractive actually. And so did Jess, so I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

“Do you know how freaky it is to have someone chase you like that? She’s completely crazy and so are you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told that once or twice before.”

CHAPTER 26

NICK NARRATING

“I don’t want you to leave.” I said.

“I’m not going to Germany.”

“Why not?” I complained.

“Because I’m American. I don’t leave my country. Ever. I won’t do it. If God wanted me to have been German I would have been born in Germany.”

“Why don’t you leave the country?”

“Because, what if something happened and we could never get back in.”

“That would never happen.”

“You don’t know that. Lots of unexpected things happen.”

“Bullshit. Like what?”

“You’re right. When I was growing up I totally expected to fall in love with a Backstreet Boy. It was my lifelong goal.”

“Fine. Point made. But I still wish I didn’t have to go.”

“You have to go.”

“I know. But I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too. But even if you weren’t going to Germany I’d have to go home.”

“Why?”

“Because believe it or not I do have a job.”

“Oh yeah.” I really had forgotten about that. “That sucks.”

“Uh huh. Now, have you packed yet?”

“No.”

“You leave tomorrow.”

“Yeah. That leaves a whole day to pack.”

“Not really. You should just do it now.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Do you want to do anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Really? What’s that?”

“You.”

“I walked right into that one didn’t I?”

“Pretty much yeah.”


DANIELLE NARRATING

“Haley, are you coming home ever?” The rest of us had been home for days, but she had decided to stay with Nick. They were freaking me out. They barely knew each other, but they were already serious. I knew Kevin was worried about it too because he’d given me his cell phone number in case he did anything stupid and I could have Haley yell at him over the phone. Seemed like a good idea.

“I’m coming home tomorrow morning.” I thought I heard Nick mutter something about not if I can help it, but I couldn’t really tell. That boy muttered all the time. It really makes you wonder what the fuck he could possibly be saying.


KEVIN NARRATING

“Guess who’s late.” I said to Brian.

“Well, Haley left this morning, so I bet Nick.”

“How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess. We should just keep Haley here to get him everywhere on time.”

“Yeah, especially now that he figured out we always tell him half an hour earlier. He never believes us anymore.”

“Yeah. That sucks. I think I liked it better when he was like sixteen. Then we could at least yell at him.”

“You never yelled at him. You always left it for me.”

“Well, you were the oldest. And he liked me, so I didn’t wanna kill that.”

“I’m here guys.” Nick said.

“You know you’re forty minutes late right?” I said.

“Yep.”

“We could have missed our flight.”

“Did we?”

“No.”

“Then back the fuck off.”

“You know I’m not going to.”

“Still waiting for the day.”


NICK NARRATING

I missed her. We were only on the plane and I missed her. She’d only been gone for like six hours and I missed her. How was I gonna get through two weeks? I was gonna go nuts. I had to do something. What could I do? Throw things at Howie while he slept? Nah. Make fun of Kevin. Nah. But I could go fuck with AJ’s head a little bit. That came out wrong, but you know what I mean.

“AJ.” I called.

“What the fuck do you want? I am in the middle of a very important movie on my DVD player.”

“What?”

“For your information I am watching a highly educational program entitled Bring it On. I believe you’re a fan? I have recently started a fan club. I’ll give you the pamphlet later. Now please leave me to my business.”

“I guess I’m not surprised you’re into things like Bring it On after your display at the photo shoot the other day.”

“You do realize that photo shoot was almost a week ago right?”

“Yeah, I’ve just been pretty busy, so I haven’t had time to appropriately harass you. So what the fuck man? Are you gay and didn’t tell me?”

“Nick I am so not in the mood.”

“So you are gay.”

“Fuck you man.”

“In your dreams.”

“Seriously man. I’m too tired for your bullshit.”

“Then just answer, why did you serenade that photographer?” I asked sitting in the seat next to him.

“Why not? I was bored and figured it was a good way to pass time and freak you out at the same time. Win, win situation.”

“That’s still pretty fucked up man.”

“Listen, I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to,”

“Shut the fuck up man. You are totally making this no fun.”

“You’re just not comfortable with yourself like I am.”

“Really. Then tell me again who has the hot new girlfriend.”

“You do Nicky. And I dream about her every night.”

“You’re a fuckhead you know that right?”

“I’ve heard that once or twice.”

“You know you’re really pissing me off.”

“I figured.”

“You realize I’m about eight seconds away from punching you in the face.”

“Yeah. And since you’re about three times my size I’m gonna hide behind Kevin. So, uh, bye.” With that he just took off running. What a pussy. What a fucking pussy. He knew I wouldn’t really beat him up. He just didn’t want to deal with my shit anymore. I am so fucking bored it isn’t even funny.

MELISSA NARRATING

“Let’s do something.” I said.

“Let’s go shopping.” Danielle said.

“You don’t even like shopping.”

“That’s because none of us have any money. But now Haley has a rich boyfriend.”

“You know just because she has a rich boyfriend that doesn’t mean she’s rich too.”

“I know. But it does mean that she has to look hot all the time. He could just break it off next week if she doesn’t satisfy him.”

“Do you think he will?”

“If he does I’ll kick that little pussy’s ass. I could take him.”

“Yeah. He’s only like twice your size.”

“He’s all talk. Besides look at these guns.” She was insane.

BRIAN NARRATING

We got off the plane and I could tell Nick was going to be a pissy little bitch until we got home. He tended to do that a lot. We all figured he’d grow out of it, but since he’s still doing it at 25 I think that ship has sailed.

“I don’t want to do this guys.” Nick said.

“Do you even know what we’re doing?” Howie asked.

“No, but I figure I don’t want to do it.”

“This is going to be a long trip isn’t it?” Howie said to me.

“I think this trip is only the beginning.”

MELISSA NARRATING

So, we’d decided not to go shopping partly because it was ten o’clock at night and everywhere was closed, so we just rented movies and bought a ton of food to eat until we passed out on Danielle’s floor. The place would be a freaking pig sty by tomorrow, but it wasn’t my house so I didn’t care.

“What do you want to watch first?” Haley asked. No one answered her. “Thanks for answering guys. I really appreciate all the feedback.”

“No one cares Haley. We’re gonna end up watching them all anyway. Just pick one.” Jen said.

“Fine. How about Happy Gilmore?”

“That’s fine. Just put it in. I’m gonna go get ice cream.” About ten seconds later Jen came out of the kitchen with two pints of ice cream.

“Are you gonna eat all of that?”

“Hell yeah. It’s been a really long day. It could be worse. I could be doing drugs.”

“Whatever.”

The movie started and since we had all seen it six or seven times we just started talking through it.

“Do you guys remember the first day we met the guys and Nick couldn’t stop staring at Haley?” Danielle asked.

“Yeah. He just stared at your boobs the whole time.” I said.

“No he didn’t!” I loved making her feel uncomfortable. She always turned so red. That was probably kinda mean, but oh well.

“You’re right.” Jen said. “He sometimes stared at your ass.”

“I hate you guys you know that right?”

“Yep.” We all answered.

HALEY NARRATING

They were totally doing this on purpose. I guess I’ll have to get back at Danielle. “Hey, do you guys remember the time Danielle got drunk for the first time?”

“We don’t need to tell that story again Haley.”

“I think we do.”

“At least it’s not as bad as Nick’s.” Jen said.

“That’s true.” Danielle said. “You are the one who fucks a guy that cried in an elevator.” Yeah, that totally came back to bite me in the ass.

“At least I never got drunk and decided to go on the monkey bars at a school playground.”

“Hey, how would I have known they would snap in half?”

“It was a preschool playground! And after you snapped the monkey bars you decided it would be a good idea to go on the little plastic slide?”

“It was very tempting okay?”

“Alright, fine. How about the swings? Was it tempting to break those too?”

“Well, by then it had become personal. I couldn’t let the playground win.”

“But you did.”

“Well, at least I broke everything in the process. So, new topic.”

“Okay. Fine.”

“So, what’s your boyfriend doing in Germany?” Jen asked.

“No idea.” I said.

“How do you not know?”

“Well, it’s promotional stuff and shit. I don’t know.”

“You knew more about them before you met them.”

“So?”

“I will never understand you Haley.” Danielle said.




AJ NARRATING

So I’d been working on my laptop for six days now trying to make this look official. And I’m not exactly a computer whiz so I had to fuck around with all these buttons before I could even begin to do anything. I had finally finished and it was totally perfect. And besides the picture of boobs on the back it looked very official. It was exactly how I wanted it.

I got it printed out in some business room at the hotel. I never knew how difficult it was to hook computers up to shit. I was so fucking confused some old lady had to come help me. She must have been like fifty. I am fucking 27 years old and I can’t work the computer. What an asshole.

I walked down to Nick’s hotel room all stealth and ready to give this to him. I finally reached his door and knocked on it. I knew he was in there, but he wasn’t answering so I knocked again.

“Who is it?”

“Your best friend.”

“Fuck you AJ. I’m fucking tired. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Nah. That’s boring. Open the door and I’ll be gone in two seconds.”

“I’m gonna regret this aren’t I?”

“Probably.” He came to the door and opened it. I just kinda shoved my way in.

“What do you want?”

“Well, I know you were interested in the Bring it On fan club. And I promised to give you a pamphlet, but I never did. I was feeling bad about that so, here it is. All the information you need to join the fan club.” I handed it to him and he read it out loud.

“Join the Bring it On fan club. You won’t regret it. Kirsten Dunst is hot as fuck and you get to see her cheer. And…” he opened it to read the inside. “It’s the only movie the hot Backstreet Boy has watched with a girl in the back of a limo that a)he didn’t have sex during, b) made him late to his concert, and finally c)almost ruined his chances at one of the hottest girls he’s ever seen. Basically he just got lucky that she had a momentary lapse in judgment and didn’t say no when he asked her out again.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. It sounded even funnier out loud.

“Get the fuck out of my room and take this piece of shit with you.”

“You could at least be a good sport about it. Maybe now I’ll have to show Haley.”

“You show Haley and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“You wouldn’t kill me.”

“Don’t fucking test me.”

“Why are you so pissy? We’re going home tomorrow. You get to go see her then. Calm the fuck down.”

HALEY NARRATING

“Haley, when do they come back?” Melissa asked.

“Today.”

“When will you see him?”

“I have no idea. They’ll be in New York and then Tuesday the album comes out, then they go to LA, and then to Canada. Then I think they go to China, and then they start the tour.”

“Are you gonna go see him when they’re in New York?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Just wondering.” At that exact moment my cell phone rang and I picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Haley?”

“That’s usually who uses this phone.”

“Very funny.” I missed him. This was fucking pathetic.

NICK NARRATING

I missed her. This was fucking pathetic. I didn’t even know when I’d be able to see her again. We were going to Canada soon, and then Japan, and then the tour starts.

“So, I was wondering, are you gonna come to New York while we’re here?” Please come.

“I don’t know. Aren’t you busy?”

“Probably, but I’ll have some time. And if you don’t I won’t see you until like, after the tour. And between like, the tenth and thirteenth we don’t have much to do.”

“Well, I have to be there Tuesday anyway, so yeah I guess I could come out that weekend.”

Thank God. “Why do you have to be here Tuesday?”

“Because we have two interviews to do.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. You probably should know that.”

“I can’t even keep track of myself. How do you expect to know what you’re doing a whole like six days from now?”

“I guess I didn’t.”

“Alright. Well, Kevin’s yelling at AJ, and I think I’m next, so I have to go, but I’ll see you soon right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“So,” Melissa said, “I guess you’re going to New York on the tenth. That’s Saturday right?”

“Friday.”

“Did he want you to come?”

“I don’t know.”

“He did. You know he did. He misses you just as much as you miss him. Trust me. He probably misses you more actually.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“Yes he does. He loves you Haley. You two work together. God knows why, but you do.”

CHAPTER 27

HALEY NARRATING

Fuck. It’s like seven in the morning. Not even. Why was I getting up early again? Oh yeah. So I could watch my boyfriend sing on TV before I drove out there to see him. It was pouring rain outside too. That would be fun for me to drive in. I got up and started to get dressed while I turned on the TV to watch the Today Show.

I quit getting dressed after I put on socks and just sat on the couch and watched the show. I fell asleep most of the time, but every time they’d mention us I woke up to listen. Even if it was just to say and the Backstreet Boys are here today I woke up to hear it. I guess it was that Backstreet radar kicking in. I guess sleeping with a Backstreet Boy doesn’t make that go away. It probably makes it better.

At one point I heard the guy say there were like two full blocks of people there waiting to watch them. That was a lot of people. That was a lot of fucking people. At least we still had fans. I wonder what they’re going to sing? I know they’ll sing Incomplete, and probably I Want It That Way cause the whole fucking world knows that song, but would they do anything else? I guess I’d just have to wait and see.



So I’m fucking sitting here and they can’t perform yet because it’s raining. I woke up at seven in the morning to wait and watch them try to perform. Didn’t the Today Show have a fucking tent?

They finally found a tent. I guess someone drove home to get their tent out of the garage or something. I mean come on. You’re the Today Show, they should be prepared. It was only rain. Not a fucking hurricane.

Okay, so we’re performing. And it’s not raining anymore, but whatever. They were singing Incomplete, and you know Nick was making fun of AJ behind his back…nothing unusual. It went pretty well. But damn Nick does look good in blue. Then I think I dozed off for a while during an interview. All I know is they were babbling over what they did over the break, and next thing I knew they were already talking about how great it was to be back. If it was so great couldn’t they have done it like a year sooner? But oh well. At least it won’t be as long next time. Or maybe it will be…

I watched them as they started the next song…I Want It That Way. Big surprise, everyone there knew every word. Not that I expected anything different when there’s two full blocks of people lined up waiting in the rain, but you know, that’s the Backstreet fans. Can’t be underestimated. Fuck, the one fucking time Nick does the don’t wanna hear you and they show some random person in the fucking crowd. What fucking good does that do me? He sounded really hot too. He probably knew I was watching.

I had to leave pretty much right now if I was going to get there when I told him I was going to. Maybe I should just call him and tell him I’m going to be late. Yeah, that’s brilliant considering he’s not busy right now or anything. At that exact minute I heard a knock on my door. Why is someone knocking on my door?

I walked to the door and saw Jen standing out there looking nervous. I opened the door. “I knew you’d still be home.” She said.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Normally I wouldn’t bother you this early, but I knew you’d be up watching the Today Show. Have they performed yet?”

“They’re performing now.”

“Oh, let’s watch it then.” By now they’d moved on to the next song which was As Long As You Love Me. “Even I know this one.”

“Don’t lie. You know all of them.”

“Yeah, okay fine I do. They’re just happy songs.”

“You don’t have to explain to me.” It was starting to rain now. Nick totally knew I was watching with the whole let it rain thing. What an asshole. He did look good in blue though. And the rain didn’t hurt.

After they finished the song Jen just sat there talking about useless things. “Dammit Jen, what’s going on?”

“I think I’m moving.”

“What? Why? Where? When?”

“Could you have fit more one word questions into that sentence?”

“Yes, how. Now answer them.”

“I got a job at a newspaper in Chicago. I have to be there by early next month. I don’t know the details yet. I don’t even know if I want to go for sure. I mean, how can I just leave everything here? And I don’t even have a place to live there. Oh my God, what do I do? I haven’t even told Danielle yet. She’s gonna freak out.”

“Yep.”

“Not helping.”

“Sorry. Okay, do you want the job?”

“It’s in Chicago!”

“Yes, we’ve established that. Now, do you want the job? Is it a good job?”

“Yes, it’s like my dream job and I want it. But I want it in Boston.”

“I know. You’re taking it. You want it, you don’t like your job now.”

“It’s getting coffee for people who actually get to write for the paper.”

“I know what your job is. That’s why you know you have to take this.”

“How am I going to find a place to live?”

“I don’t know. We can have Jeff and Kendra start looking now. Kendra hasn’t been that busy at work since she had Kelly. Don’t worry about where you’re going to live. I would worry about Danielle first. She’s gonna kill you.”

“I know.”

“It’s only because she loves you.”

“I know. I can’t go.”

“You have to go. I’ll tell her with you. I’ll go to New York later. We’ll go over to Danielle’s in an hour or so and tell her. Then we’ll tell Melissa.”

“Can we tell Mel first?”

“Danielle won’t want to be the last to know. Remember when Jeff and Kendra got engaged? She was the last to know then and she freaked out. And she wasn’t really even friends with them.”

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much. What if I don’t like it there?”

“Then you can move back. But you have to give it at least six months.”

“I can’t believe I’m leaving.”

“I know. What’s gonna happen with the routine? We’ve been in the same stunt group for twelve years. I don’t think I could fly on someone else.”







“YOU’RE WHAT? YOU CAN’T MOVE. NO. YOU’RE STAYING HERE!”

“I can’t stay here Danielle. This is a great opportunity. I’ve been waiting for a job like this for years. I can’t pass it up.”

“But you are moving half way across the country!” she whined.

“I know. And I’m gonna miss you guys so much. But I have to go.”

“Wait, does Melissa know too?”

“No, we told you first. We thought you’d want to know before her.” I said.

“Oh. Good. I’m gonna miss you. What’s gonna happen with cheerleading?”

“I have no idea. I guess someone else will have to be in our stunt group.” I said.

“No. I won’t do it. I’m not basing with anyone else. I’m not doing it next year. I can’t do it with anyone else. And they’ll probably suck. I won’t even be able to get Haley in the air.”

“Yes you could.” Said Jen.

“Yeah, you’re right I am awesome. But still, I don’t want to do it with someone else.”

“Don’t make a rash decision Danielle.” I said, “you don’t know. Think it through before you quit.”

“NO! Dammit Haley, we always said if one of us quit we’d all quit. We made a pact. It was either all of us or none of us.”

“Danielle, we were twelve years old when we made that pact.”

“So you think it doesn’t mean anything just because we made it thirteen years ago? Pacts last forever Haley.”

“What are you gonna do if you don’t cheer?”

“I don’t know. We’re all 25. We should be working.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m 24.”

“You know what I mean Haley. It just won’t be the same without you Jen. I can’t do it anymore. We had a good season. Let’s just forget about it and move on.”





Melissa reacted pretty much the same way. Only much calmer. She was a little more accepting of Jen’s plans too. But she agreed with Danielle. None of us or all of us. I don’t know what to do. I guess I don’t want to cheer without them. They were pretty much the reason I was still cheering in the first place. I liked to be around them with something that was just for us. I guess without them there’s no point.

That was when I got a call on my cell phone. I looked at the number. I had almost forgotten I had to go to New York. Maybe that was what I needed. To get away from my friends for well, just today since they were all coming up tomorrow.

“Hey.” I said.

“Where are you?”

“Sorry. I, I’ll tell you when I get there. I’m leaving now. I should be there in about two hours.”

“Is anything wrong?”

“No. Well, not really.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll explain when I get there.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

NICK NARRATING

I don’t know what’s going on, but it didn’t sound good. I had no idea what to do. I guess I’d just wait until she got here and then find out what the hell is going on.

HALEY NARRATING

I should call Jeff and tell him to look for an apartment or something for Jen. I dialed his number, but I got Kendra.

“Hi Kendra, is Jeff there?”

“Sure hold on.” He was on the phone soon.

“Hey Haley what’s up?”

“A lot actually. Jen got a job at a newspaper in Chicago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She’s gonna be moving there early next month so she was wondering if you could help her look for somewhere to live.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Are you okay with this?”

“I guess. But Melissa and Danielle aren’t gonna cheer next year.”

“Are you?”

“I wish I knew. We made a pact when we first started that it was either all of us or none of us. And part of me still agrees with it.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah. I guess.” That’s when something else occurred to me. “Jeff, there’s something else you should know.”

“What?”

“Um, Nick and I have been dating.”

“Since when?”

“A little after my birthday.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“Sorry.”




MELISSA NARRATING

My phone rang and Jeff was on the other line. Before I could get out the word hello he said, “do you have Nick’s number?”

“Oh, so you know they’re dating I take it.”

“What’s his number?”

I gave it to him and he was off the phone and dialing before I could say goodbye. He was pretty protective of Haley.

NICK NARRATING

My cell phone rang and I didn’t know the number.

“Hello?”

“Nick?”

“This is Haley’s brother Jeff.”

“Hi.” Why was he calling me?

“I found out you’re dating.”

“Oh, yeah that.” I gotta stop dating girls with older brothers.

“If you hurt her I swear to God I will hunt you down and murder you. Do you understand me?”

“Perfectly. But you’ll have to get in line to do that.”

“Oh Danielle?”

“Yeah. But look, I’m not just messing around. I love her.”

“No shit? Does she know?”

“Of course she knows. And we’re very happy.”

“Don’t hurt her.”

“I won’t.” I hope. Shit what if I did screw this up? How could I live with myself? Okay, no problem. Just don’t screw it up.



A few hours later Haley was at the door. I had never been so happy to see someone in my life.

“Hey.” I said kissing her.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You told me you’d tell me when you got here. And you’re here.”

“Okay fine. Jen’s moving to Chicago next month because she got a job.”

“And I take it that’s not good.”

“Well, it is for her, but-”

“You’re gonna miss her.”

”Yeah, she’s one of my best friends. And Danielle and-”

“Is Danielle freaking out?”

“Totally. And she’s quitting cheerleading and so is Melissa.”

“Are you sure they’re not just rushing into that? They might change their minds.”

“Melissa maybe, but Danielle always knows what she wants. And there was this pact when we were twelve that if one of us couldn’t do it, none of us could do it. And Danielle never goes back on anything she says.”

“Are you gonna keep cheering?”

“I have no idea. Part of me wants to, part of me says the main reason I was doing it was to be with my friends, so it makes sense to quit too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You’re gonna quit aren’t you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. You don’t wanna do it without them.”

“No I don’t. I just wish I had known last year was our last year you know?”

“Well you don’t have to quit.”

“But it was still our last year together. I guess I’d have tried to not let it go so fast so I could always remember it.”

“You will always remember it. It’s not like you’re forgetting your friends. You’ll never forget them.”

“I know.”

“You know I love you right?”

“I know.”

“And?”

“And I love you too.”

“You’ll be okay.”

CHAPTER 28

*The chapter where I am killing time until the album comes out.

HALEY NARRATING

“What do you wanna do today?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re just full of ideas aren’t you?”

“Always. Isn’t everyone else coming up today?”

“Yeah, at like six tonight. So we have like eight hours to do something. Do you have any work to do today?”

“No. Nothing until Monday. And then it’s just a couple interviews.”

“So, what do you want to do?”

“Movie?”

“Nothing out.”

“Sex?”

“For eight hours?”

“Yeah. What’s the problem there?”

“Sorry forgot who I was talking to.”

AJ NARRATING

“AJ, me and you just have that one interview right?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, then I have one later with Kevin, but you’re free. Lucky bastard. How come I keep getting screwed?”

“Because you talk the most.” That was true.

“Let’s just go.” I sighed.


About an hour and a half later we were on the air answering the same questions we answered in every interview. Our fans knew all the answers by heart anyway. Why did we have to repeat these answers?

“So,” the DJ started, “I hear Nick has recently started a relationship.” Maybe this would get interesting.

“Yes.” Brian answered.

“You gotta give us more than that. The girl’s hot. We wanna know more!”

“Uh…” Brian said.

“Like, how did it start? Come on.”

“Alright. I’ll just jump in here.” I offered. “First, she was on the team that won the sponsorship, and at the first meeting Nick could not take his eyes off her. It was pathetic actually. So after a huge ordeal, he ended up asking her out, and by some miracle she said yes. So they went out, he made a total fool of himself on the date, ended up late to our show because he lost track of time. Just a very funny situation to watch him go through. I thoroughly enjoyed it.”

“So is she a bad influence on him?”

“No, but he is a bad influence on her.”

“So,” the DJ asked, “is she better than Paris?”

“Oh God, yeah. On Haley’s worst day and Paris’ best, she would beat her hands down.” Brian said. Ooh, Brian’s getting feisty. I love interviews without Kevin. Much more entertaining.

“Really, why’s that?”

“Well,” Brian started, “she gets him where he needs to be, and he’s even been on time since he started dating her. He’s just been a lot happier. We’re a lot happier for not having to see her anymore.”

“Yeah, that is a plus.” I said. “She was such a whor- horrible person, she drove us crazy.” I am just gonna stop talking now.

“I would be happier too if I got to spend the night with that.” The DJ said. “Seems she does a lot for him. So, what does he do for her in return?”

I laughed really hard at that. This was some funny shit. Why was no one else laughing? Oh, no one else took it like that. Never mind. Really didn’t mean to twist that there. Well, yeah I did I can’t lie.

“Why are you laughing AJ? Something funny?” Brian asked. He loved to set me up like that. You know, get me into a question I just couldn’t answer. Especially when it was somehow sexually related. Asshole.

“Just thinking of something funny. So, what does Nick do for Haley Brian? You answer.”

“Well, he’s very loyal.” Well, that was sweet. I think I’ll spice this up a little bit.

“And, if anyone hits on her, he’ll kick their ass. Or at least try. He’s really not that strong.”

“So, I guess that kills my chances then.”

“Yeah. Kills mine too.” I said. “Learned that the hard way. Still have few bruises…” This was fun. I could get used to this.




DANIELLE NARRATING

“Let’s go. It’s already after five. We’re late. Although, that doesn’t matter considering we are doing absolutely nothing until Monday. But whatever. We’re probably going out to dinner. Move your ass Mel. Jen’s already in the car.”

“I’m coming. We’ll be there in less than two hours. We’ll be there in time for dinner. Just call Haley and tell her we’re gonna be late.”

NICK NARRATING

I heard Haley’s cell ringing, and she was in the shower, why wasn’t I there too? Anyway, I answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Nick?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s Danielle. Where’s Haley?”

“Shower.”

“And you’re not with her?”

“It surprised me too.”

“So, just tell her we’ll be there at seven. Don’t forget.”

“I’ll go tell her now.”

“NO! Do not go in there. You’ll be distracted. She’ll be done soon. You know what? Just have her call me.”

“I can tell her. I won’t forget.”

“Fine. Remember seven.”

“Bye.”

DANIELLE NARRATING

“Hell no! I am not listening to that song. Either change the station or turn off the radio.”

“It’s a good song!”

“Dammit Jen. Turn it off or I’m sending you to Chicago tomorrow!” Instead she just started singing. Bitch.

“You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the-” So I just reached over and switched the station. Great. Cry Me a River. My favorite. And ironically the next station had Britney Spears. I just could not win. Fuck.

NICK NARRATING

Haley came out of the bathroom. She’s so hot. Damn, I just wow I do easily get distracted.

“Your friends will be here at seven.” See, I could be responsible sometimes.

“Okay. We’re eating at 7:30. And it’s already quarter to seven. You should get ready.”




The nine of us were all at the restaurant by 8:30. Did I mention that my friends do not get ready quickly? And we were all starving and the waiters here took forever. We didn’t even have drinks until 9:15. That was just wrong to keep the alcohol from us that long. I think it was the alcohol deprivation that led to our next activity.

AJ NARRATING

“Let’s stick stuff in the candle. Here’s a napkin.” I said handing it to Nick. If someone’s gonna catch fire Nick would be the one so, I figured I’d give him a head start.

He could have said no, but the dumbass took it so, whatever.

There was a collective whoa as the napkin caught fire and Nick had to shake it frantically to put it out. I could see the headlines now. Backstreet Boy burns down restaurant.

Next I handed Nick a straw. That started to melt. OOH, sparks! Cool. This was totally awesome. We should burn shit more often.

“Guys,” said Kevin, “I don’t think this is safe. Paper napkins in fire is just not smart.”

“He’s right.” Said Haley. “Try the dinner rolls instead.” So Nick picked up a dinner roll and dropped it right in the candle.

“NICK! You weren’t supposed to drop the whole roll in the candle you fucking moron!” Danielle said. “Holy shit. There’s flames.” There were too. Flames were kinda shooting from the bread. You wouldn’t expect that to happen either. I mean bread was baked. You wouldn’t think it would catch fire so quickly.

“Do you wanna do something?” Brian asked. “Like, I don’t know, maybe PUT OUT THE FIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DINNER TABLE?”

“Good idea.” Nick said. Gee, you think. “How?”

“Water. I think would be a good choice.” I said.

“Right. I need water.”

“You’re drinking water Nick.” Haley said. Was it bad that this all occurred while there was small inferno on our table?

“Jesus Christ.” Danielle said picking up Nick’s water. She threw most of it on the flames and luckily they went out. “What kind of idiot are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do I put out fire? Are you kidding? You learn that when you’re three. Stop, drop, and roll and water puts out fires.”

Howie had something to say about that. “Actually I just saw something on the news that says they’re changing it to stop, drop, cover your eyes, and roll.”

“Wow, so not my point.” Said Danielle.

“Sorry.”

“No. Please go on. I was riveted.” She could be pretty sarcastic sometimes. This was fun. Just starting the trouble but not really being involved in it so by the time it blows up in your face people have forgotten you had anything to do with it. I have got to start bringing Danielle everywhere.

“Your food is ready now. Sorry for the wait.” The waiter said. Apparently she noticed the candle was burnt out, “would you like me to relight your candle?”

“NO!!” we all screamed.

”O, Okay.” She said and walked away. Always an interesting evening with the Backstreet Boys.

I happened to look over to see Danielle pick up Nick’s now half full water glass. She looked at it for a minute before throwing the rest of the water at him.

“What the fuck Danielle?”

“How do you put out a fire? Come on! And I noticed you were staring at Haley and I figured that wouldn’t end well, so you know two birds one stone, kill it before it jumped up.”

“But it’s cold.” Everyone was just laughing. Even Kevin. This was awesome. Seriously Danielle was coming everywhere with me from now on. “Haley, are you gonna let her do this to me?” he whined.

“Yes. Yes I am.” Good times.




HALEY NARRATING

“I can’t believe the album comes out tomorrow.” Nick said.

“I know. It’s been a long time.” Howie said.

“What if nobody buys it?” Brian asked.

“People will buy it.” I said. “Some of your fans plan on buying at least ten copies and then just taking nine back as soon as the sales are counted. If anyone was going to take a break and come back it would have to be you guys.”

“I hope so.” AJ said. “What do we do if it totally flops?” Nobody really answered since they were all concerned that that would actually happen. To be honest I was too.

NICK NARRATING

“Haley, what are you doing?”

“Just getting a little something ready for you. I thought it might get you in the mood for the album to come out.”

“What?”

“Some old school Backstreet.” She said putting a tape in the VCR.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see.” Before I knew it I was reliving every single old performance we ever did and every interview from Millennium on. “I had Melissa bring them up.”

I was such a fag. Not even just when I was like fifteen. But even when I was like twenty. What a fucking faggot. Why didn’t someone tell me I needed to cut my hair. “You really should have cut your hair a lot sooner.”

“Why couldn’t I have met you like six years ago?”

“Sorry honey. Great things only come once in a while. Just keep watching. It gets much better as the years go on. We’re purposely watching in reverse chronological order so it gets worse as we go along. Next is the Diary thing where you talk about Table Mountain.”

“Oh no. What do I say?”

“Just watch.”

“There’s this mountain. And it’s flat like a table. Looks like God goes up there to chill and eat breakfast or something.”

“Seriously I needed to meet you like six years ago. Maybe I could have avoided some of these moments.”

“Don’t feel too bad. That’s what I base my love on. That you need me to keep you from sounding like a jackass. Now, we’re onto Rosie O’Donnell. Before we get to the trivia portion, would you like to tell me anything about the Funky Chickens?”

“The what?”

“The Funky Chickens.”

“Oh, dear god. Oh no. That’s for a whole other day.”

“Maybe after your album goes number one and you are the biggest group in the country.”

”You may have to wait a while.”

“Or maybe only a week. And I’ll get you to tell me anyway. I can be very persuasive sometimes.” She said flipping her hair. She knew I thought that was sexy didn’t she?

“Yeah, I’ll probably be telling you by the end of the night."

CHAPTER 29

HALEY NARRATING

“What are you doing up?” I asked Nick. “You never get up early. What’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong? The album comes out today. Did you know that?”

“I heard a rumor.”

“Should I be nervous? Why are you up? Are you nervous? Shit. I should be nervous.”

“I think the ship has sailed on whether or not you should be nervous. And I’m up because I have to do an interview with the rest of the girls in twenty minutes. Probably should’ve woke up sooner. But I figured 5:45 was early enough. It’s still dark outside. That’s just not right. Who gets up this early. There’s not even birds up yet.”

“I gotta go.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Do you realize if we don’t have a hit single this whole thing isn’t going anywhere?”

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t think we’re gonna have a hit single?”

“I didn’t say that. And technically the single’s already a hit.”

“It wasn’t on TRL.”

“So?”

“SO? We’re going there today.”

“I know we are too. You need to calm down.”

“I do not need to calm down. I need to keep freaking out. And stop yelling at me.”

“I’m not yelling. I’m not even raising my voice.”

“Yes you are. You aren’t listening to anything I say.”

“Okay. I have to get ready.”

“See, and now you’re ignoring me.”

“Whatever.”

“Just so you know I’m not talking to you Haley.”

“Okay. And you’re acting like a twelve year old.” He just left. What a dumbass. If we don’t have a hit single…The single’s been out for over two months. And it’s doing well. So to me that’s a hit. But whatever. I’m gonna be late.

NICK NARRATING

I didn’t even know where I was going. I walked around and at some point wandered into some conference room. In that room were the other four guys.

“Hey.” I said. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Same thing you’re doing.” Howie answered.

“Freaking out?”

“Yep.”

“And getting away from the room.” Kevin said. “I just had a fight with Kris over the phone.”

“I just fought with Leigh.”

“I just fought with Haley.” I said.

“Over what?” AJ asked.

“Nothing.” All three of us answered.

“Looks like we’re all pretty fucked up doesn’t it?” AJ said.

“You could say that again.” Howie said.

HALEY NARRATING

I am so fucking tired I don’t even know. I’m too tired to finish that sentence.

“Haley hurry up!” Melissa screamed. “We have four interviews in the next hour.”

“Fuck. We’re not even the real guys. Why do people care?”

BRIAN NARRATING

“Nick hurry up!” I screamed. “We have four interviews in the next hour.”

“Fuck.”



AT THE VIEW AJ NARRATING

Nick was being pissy all day because he fought with Haley. He was hiding it well in interviews though so at least it was just a little treat for us as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.

It was definitely good to be back. We had been gone for so long, and I had totally forgotten how good it felt to be back doing what we all loved to do. The Today Show was a great way to start the promo too. Two blocks of people. That’s a lot of people that stood in the pouring rain to see us. And they knew every word to I Still. I don’t know how they do it. That song barely exists. I guess that means the Backstreet CIA is back at work. Hell, I don’t think they ever stopped.

NO NARRATION

The girls had already done about seven or eight interviews, all of which had the same questions. They were finally on their way to TRL. It was still like eleven a.m., but apparently they were just going to wait for a while.

DANIELLE NARRATING

We drove up to TRL and there were already a bunch of people outside waiting. TRL didn’t even start for another three hours.

“Guys, look at everyone out there.” I said.

“There’s like eight people there.” Haley said.

“Well, it doesn’t start for like three hours, so maybe that’s a good thing.”

“The barricades aren’t even up yet.” Melissa said.

“Shit.” We all muttered together.

“At least the album won’t totally flop.” I said.

“I guess not. There are a lot of teenage girls in the city today aren’t there? Jen mentioned.

“There sure are.” I said.

“Thank God.” Haley muttered to herself. Of course we could hear her considering we were all together in a car, but she didn’t need to know that. It was better if she didn’t. Most of the time that’s how we would find out what was going on with her. She’d mutter it when she thought we couldn’t hear. Then we’d totally give her shit for it later. Maybe she’d say something dirty.

“I’m not thinking anything dirty Danielle. I know you can hear me.” she said.

“Damn.”



BACKSTAGE TRL ABOUT 1:45 P.M. HALEY NARRATING

“Dammit Nick stop being an asshole!”

“You’re the one who won’t shut up.”

“You’re ignoring me! And you started talking to me.”

“I know. I just want to be alone.”

DANIELLE NARRATING

“Looks like Nick and Haley are fighting.” I said to AJ who was standing right next to me.

“He fought with her this morning too. Brian and Kevin fought with their wives too. Everyone’s being an ass today.”

“That seems to happen most days.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. And I meant in Nick’s case.”

“He’s always an ass. You learn to love it. And just so you know, he’s way better now that he’s with Haley. She makes him so much happier than he was before he met her. Like when we were recording the album he’d go out like every night and hook up with someone random.”

“Kinda figured.”

“Probably shouldn’t tell Haley that though. That would probably make her mad. And then Nick would get mad, and well he can kick my ass so…”

“I won’t tell her.” I said laughing. “Besides, I think she kinda knows.” Before we could say anything else the guys were called off to work. Real hard work. Talking. And I can honestly say that it isn’t hard because I’ve been doing it all morning. I think we’ve done more work than they have.

I saw Nick stalk off from Haley mid sentence. That could not be good. She was pissed too. Great. Wouldn’t that be a treat.

“Hey guys.” She said as she came over.

“Why aren’t you mad?” I asked her.

“Because he’s just being an ass. And I’ll get back at him later. And we’re practically done for today. Just TRL and then we can go home.”

“Very true.”

INTERVIEW WITH THE GUYS BRIAN NARRATING

“I’m here with the Backstreet Boys after five years…” same story. But it was great to be back. Nick had been in a weird mood all day. He had pretty much been hiding it until now. He was completely letting everyone know he was upset. Probably not smart. Hopefully no one would ask about it. I’m guessing it had a lot to do with Haley. I saw them fighting backstage. I’m sure it was Nick’s fault. He was being an ass. “So, what have you been doing all this time?”

Was Nick honestly checking the VJ out? Come on man. Your girlfriend is backstage. She’s less than twenty feet away. Haley was so gonna kick his ass. “Having fun, just trying to stay out of trouble.” Good answer Nick. Don’t mention the girlfriend at all.

“Well, we’re going to go to a commercial break because I don’t know if you can see this on camera, but I’m shaking. I’m the host and I’m shaking.”

With that Nick looked over and grabbed her hand. “No you’re not. You’re lying.” Nice move. Very nice. Now he was hitting on her too. Awesome. Great way to makeup with your girlfriend. At the commercial we walked over to the window to wave to the fans. I walked over to Nick.

“Do you wanna maybe stop hitting on other girls while Haley is here?”

“I’m not. Fine. I am. Who cares.”

“Stop being such an ass. Why are you in such a bad mood?”

“I just am.”

“Well, stop.” The interview pretty much went normally. It was so great to be back. The fans were freaking out too. I guess they missed us a little bit.

Then we were asked to sing something new. It wasn’t like everyone hadn’t already heard these clips before online, but oh well. We sang Safest Place, and Kevin was snapping like a moron. He wasn’t even keeping the beat. The other three noticed it too. We had a pretty good time picking on him about the snapping. Then after the interview Nick went a step further.

“Can you see ME. Here I AM. Standing HERE where I’ve always BEEN. Dumbass. How long have you been doing this and you still can’t keep a beat.” Well, at least something could help put him in a good mood.


HALEY NARRATING GIRLS INTERVIEW ON TRL AFTER THE GUYS LEFT

“So,” Damien was interviewing us, and Danielle could not stand still. She kept looking at the window or playing with the microphone. “do you want to introduce yourselves for us.”

“I’m Danielle. The best one. Everyone else here is boring.” That was sweet.

“I’m Jen.”

“I’m Melissa.”

“And I’m Haley.”

“And you’re dating Nick am I correct?” Damien asked.

I didn’t really know what to say, so I figured what the hell. “Yes.” The crowd was really screaming.

“He’s a lucky man.” Damien said.

“I don’t know how lucky he’ll be tonight after he was hitting on Vanessa like that. But we’ll see what he has to say for himself.”

“Oh, he wasn’t hitting on her.”

“Don’t deny it. Everyone out here knows he was hitting on her am I right?” The crowd was laughing and having a good time. This was all fun. I liked the interviews.

“So, what’s the biggest piece of dirt you have on the guys.”

“Ask Haley about her first date with Nick.” Danielle said.

“No. I don’t wanna tell that story.” I said.

“Come on. Don’t feel bad.”

“Oh, I don’t at all. It’s just that people know that story. I say we go with the story about the first time he got drunk.”

“Oh great. A much better story.”

“Well,” I started, “AJ jumped at the chance to tell me this story. He told it at dinner with all the other guys and stuff. First of all, Nick was sixteen. Howie and Kevin went to a club. AJ was in timeout and Brian was sick so they were at the hotel with Nick.”

“What’s timeout?” Damien asked.

“Oh, it’s literally a timeout. Like getting grounded. I think AJ got it for bringing a girl back to the hotel or something. I know Nick got a timeout the night of our first date because he was late to the show. But anyway, after that Brian and AJ got him drunk by giving him like two drinks, and he decided he needed more towels. So he went down to get more towels, AJ came with him, and then Nick noticed this thirty year old man and started flirting with him. Then after he was threatened with a restraining order AJ brought him back up to the room.” The whole place thought this story was hysterical. It was a good story.

“Come on Haley, tell the real story. Tell AJ’s point of view. You know the part where AJ takes him in the elevator.”

“Oh right. So after he got drunk he took a bath, rolled around on the bathroom floor, and then went down to get the towels, but he was naked the whole time. He was riding the elevator with AJ, and a bunch of people waiting to get on had to wait because they didn’t want to ride with naked Nick.” Just then I heard someone yell in the crowd.

“Why not?”

“Well,” I said, “remember what he looked like when he was sixteen?” Apparently they did because they completely agreed that they probably wouldn’t have wanted to ride with him either. “Anyway, then the elevator stopped, and Nick was terrified. He had his eyes closed but was too drunk to realize it so he was crying in the elevator. Then, when the elevator worked again AJ got him back up to the room, into some clothes, and then Nick finally got his towels.”

The whole place was in hysterics. “Sounds like quite a night.” Damien said.

“Nick’s gonna kill me.” I said.

“Nah, Just tell him you’re really mad he was hitting on Vanessa. He hates when you’re mad at him.” Danielle said. The whole crowd did that awww thing. “Don’t awww. He usually deserves it.”