Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

“Just get the fuck out! I don’t ever want to see you again! Am I making myself clear?”

She drew a shaky breath before holding it in as she awaited his response. She watched fearfully as he reacted to her harsh words. She could no longer hear his angered yells and vicious words, only the sound of the quick pumps her heart was making in her ears. He flailed his arms about, pointed to her, kicked the coffee table, and paced back and forth like he was muted and put on slow-motion. But all sound and normal speed came crashing back to her right after he picked up the lamp. And when he hurled it in her direction, she reacted as if she hadn’t seen it coming so fast. She jumped up nervously and raised her hands to cover her face, gasping so hard that she began coughing.

Crying and coughing. That’s what he saw her doing as soon as all the red had faded from his sight. Although the lamp had been deliberately thrown to miss her form, he instantly regretted using such violence. Just seeing her standing before him, shaking so horribly, made his heart break all over again. That’s right, again. She broke his heart just a few hours ago when she told him she was done with their relationship. The fresh reminder of his recent lost love and the current sight of her made him cry out loud, springing fresh tears to his eyes. He turned away from his fiancé—ex fiancé and crashed into the wall on his right.

“What is happening to us?” she murmured to the figure leaning against the light blue wall. Flashbacks of when they had painted that very wall came to her mind. They were happy then. Weren’t they? She tried so hard to remember when everything had changed. But it all blurred together so well. His light voice starting to speak snapped her attention back from reminiscing of so-called ‘better times’.

“You tell me,” he replied chillingly as he sniffled. He had stopped crying. She could never look at him when he cried, it always made her weak. But this time there was no backing down. It had to be done. Turning her back from him, she finally said all she had to say.

“Goodbye.”

She zoned out after speaking those words. They were so final that it hurt when thinking about it. She was closing the book on them. After such a long period since starting their story, she was ending it all. The voice in her head kept screaming ‘No! Don’t do this! You can work it out, work through this together. Pushing him away will only make things worse. Stop! Tell him to come back!’ Almost too scared of regretting her decision, she whipped back around expecting to see him before her, pleading for her to end all of the madness with his eyes. But she only saw a blank wall in her sight.

A gust of wind shot through the open window of her house, blowing her sheer white curtains upwards, allowing her to see into the driveway. His car was gone. He was gone. That’s when her body felt it, the sudden drain of strength, causing her to collapse to her knees.

Later in life, whenever she would look back on this day, she would never remember hearing his last words when he left her. Alone.

I Don't Believe It

“Dr. Roberts, calling Dr. Roberts. You’re needed on the third floor, room 307. Dr. Roberts to room 307…”

She ignored the sounds of the intercom and the beeping of monitors. She quickly walked through the crowded corridor of the Intensive Care Unit of the Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles. Her heart was racing in her chest. The phone call did not sound good. But then again, most phone calls to report to a hospital at two in the morning were never good. The last time she was at the hospital at this hour, she wasn’t a visitor. And she wasn’t single.

“Her resps are down to eight! Let’s intubate, people! What about her head?”

“Cynthia! Is she going to be okay?”

“Get the boyfriend out of here! Seems to be a depressed skull fracture, won’t matter though if she bleeds out of her chest first. Let’s get her some Dilantin and Mannitol, quick.”

“Oh God! Cynthia, baby. Hang on. Just hang on, baby, please.”

Shuddering at the voices and blurry images flooding her mind, she focused on why she was here now. It had been so long since she had last seen him. Three years to be exact. She had no idea what she would say if she faced him again, she only knew that she had to.

When she finally turned the corner to the last hall on the floor she saw a group of familiar faces gathered around the chairs on the left wall, faces that she never thought she would see all together again. She had left behind that sort of family relationship. But as she stepped closer to the huddle, she felt a pair of blue eyes peer at her in a welcoming gaze. The man stood from his seat, pushing back the tall figure that stood ahead of him. Walking towards her, he smiled as if he was grateful for her appearance, but his eyes held no sparkle.

“Cynthia, oh God, I’m so glad you came!” He pulled her into a tight hug, exhaling a deep breath into her chocolate brown hair as he held her against his frame. Letting go, he slid his trembling hands down the sides of her arms to reach her hands. Holding them, he whispered, “He’s slipped into unconsciousness about fifteen minutes ago when the doctors brought him to his room, right after I called you.”

Cynthia frowned at the man before her. His eyes were wide and glazed over in a blank, yet worried expression. His usual jovial expression was now swiped away with a look of despair. This definitely was not good.

“Brian, what’s going on? You call me in the middle of the night telling me to rush over here! Do you know how much that scared me? So, please, tell me what happened.”

The tall figure had moved from his position in front of the chairs and was now leaning against the door of what Cynthia presumed was Nick’s room. He cleared his throat to gather her attention. His voice was cold and distant and so were his green eyes. Cynthia knew he had no desire to see her around here, but he was much too polite to ever say so.

“A truck blindsided him when he was driving down the street, hitting his car so hard that it flipped three times.”

Cynthia gasped while pulling her hands to her mouth. Another voice began to finish the details, a gentle voice that she could never mistake. He spoke slowly and hesitantly as though each word was forbidden.

“He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. He flew out of the windshield on the second flip, landed on some broken glass. He’s got…deep cuts all over his body and a lot of in…inter…” A lump rose into the man’s throat making it hard for him to finish.

“I know, D. I know.” Brian let go of Cynthia’s hands and went back to his seat beside Howie and rubbed his back. “He’s going to be alright.”

“He had a lot of internal bleeding that the doctors had to take care of.” The previous voice continued for Howie, adverting attention away from the seated men. “He’s been slipping in and out of consciousness, only staying awake a few minutes at a time. The doctors said he freaked out when he awoke in the operating table. They had to sedate him and he’s been out ever since.”

She nodded her head as she tried to grasp all the information she was just fed. No, it wasn’t her first time being in the hospital for a car wreck that involved Nick. But now the tables were turned and it scared her so much. Thoughts of how all this could have happened rushed into her head. Was it the same as the last time? Was he driving home, too? Did he convince himself that it was okay to drive? She couldn't believe this was happening. Cynthia could feel her chest grow tighter with each question. She needed to sit down before she fainted. As she looked for an extra chair in the hall, she did a double take to a blonde figure slumped in the corner. His head was down, resting on the hands that were kept up by his knees. Walking to him, she kneeled in front of the young man while she placed a hand gently on one knee.

“Aaron, are you okay?”

She remembered how much she had loved the boy. She still did. But like her relationship with Nick and the rest of the men, she ended everything as soon as she said those final words.

Aaron slowly sat up in recognition of her soft voice. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when a harsh whisper interrupted him. His eyes moved past Cynthia’s head to see his brother’s friends talk as if they couldn’t hear them.

“Why the hell is she here, Brian? I thought we agreed not to call her!”

“I didn’t agree to that! You’re the one who said it, not me. You know why I called her, Kevin. I won’t let you stand in the way this time.”

When his brown eyes left Kevin and Brian to look into Cynthia’s blue ones, he whispered so quietly that she barely heard him.

“I have to talk to you. Alone.”

I Know There's Something Going On

They had waited to leave until after Kevin announced he was going to find a restroom. As they walked down the hall, Brian nervously asked where they were going; Cynthia only shrugged her shoulders while mentally remarking that it was none of his business. She didn’t need Brian to start worrying about her again. That was in the past. She was fully capable to take care of herself.

She looked over at Howie, who was sitting to the side on one hip. He shot a quick glance at her face, but then dropped his eyes when she caught his stare. Figures, he couldn’t even look at her. After all this time, maybe he was still embarrassed. She wouldn’t blame him if he was.

“Why do you let him do this to you?” He threw his hands up while pacing in front of the door.

“Do what?” She nervously crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t understand why he was reacting this way.

“Hurt you! God, can’t you see? You deserve so much better!”

“No,” she shook her head, “he loves me. I deserve him. He deserves me.”

“Well, then, so do I! I…”

The soft ding of the elevator sounding its arrival snapped Cynthia out of her thoughts. Stepping in, she held her breath, trying to shake away the reminders of the past.

The elevator ride down to the cafeteria was silent. While the flashback occupied Cynthia’s mind, Aaron was contemplating just how he would tell the woman beside him what was going on. He wouldn’t know if she would understand or be freaked out. It seemed logical to spill everything to her. It would help, wouldn’t it? Maybe she could stop it. She could save him.

When they reached the basement floor, Aaron was first to head out. He was held back, though, by Cynthia’s hand which had grabbed his shirt. She pulled the young man to her body for a hug. She had missed him so much. He was like a little brother to her. She wished that she hadn’t lost three years of his life, but she did.

The elevator doors began to close, causing Aaron to jump out of her embrace to quickly stick his hand between them. Sheepishly smiling at Cynthia, he pushed his hand in sync with the retracting door and made room for her exit.

“Thanks,” she murmured while tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

Walking into the room filled with large tables, Cynthia and Aaron found an empty one somewhere in the middle. Although the two had stood in line for their jell-o, neither of them touched the jiggly green substance. They sat in silence, Aaron rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. Cynthia wondered again why he wanted to speak to her. He wasn’t saying a word even though he had made it sound so important. It was worrying her that he wasn’t talking. Aaron always talked.

“Ace, what’s going on? You said you needed to talk to me. Alone?” She stretched her arm over the table to place her hand atop of his.

“I don’t know how to explain this—things to you. It—it’s really complicated,” he stuttered as he pushed away his bowl to the side. “I’m not even sure if I should tell you. I might...get in trouble.”

Now he wasn’t just worrying her, he was really scaring her. Get in trouble? What kind of trouble could he possibly get into?

“Aaron, you can tell me anything. If something is this important, if you’re in danger, you need to tell me.” She was rubbing his hand now, trying to comfort him.

Taking a deep breath, Aaron prepared himself to simply bombard her with all the information he knew. It wouldn’t make sense, but he needed to get everything out. Leaning to the middle of the table, he motioned for Cynthia to come closer. He had to be secretive. When she leaned in, turning her head to hear him better, he began.

“I think that something is going on with Nick’s—” Aaron abruptly stopped his sentence as soon as he felt the large hand clamp on his shoulder.

Cynthia furrowed her eyebrows at Aaron and turned her head to look at him. His face was in complete shock. She raised an eyebrow, about to ask what was wrong when she glanced up. Cynthia’s jaw slightly dropped when she looked up at Kevin’s face. He didn’t seem too happy. And neither did Aaron. It was like they had been caught talking in class, the teacher sneaking up on the student for effect.

“What are you two doing down here?” Kevin looked down at the blonde, gripping his shoulder tightly. Aaron instantly knew that the question wasn’t as sincere as it had sounded. The undertone was threatening, warning him to shut his mouth.

“Aaron was just telling me—”

“I was just telling her what I’ve been up to for the past few years,” Aaron blurted as he shot Cynthia a pleading glance.

“Well, everyone was worried that you two just took off after I left. That is what Brian said, that you ran off in a hurry.”

“We didn’t run off, we came to the cafeteria to talk,” Cynthia snidely replied. She could never put up with his attitude. It always made her want to grab his head and slam it down on something hard.

“Why don’t we head back upstairs, hm? Maybe Nick will wake up soon.”

“I think I want to stay here and finish talking with Aaron,” she spat at him. Who did he think he was, telling them what to do?

“No, Kevin’s right, we should go upstairs. I want to be there when he wakes up.”

Aaron had felt Kevin’s other hand snake up to his other shoulder. He didn’t want to give the man any reason to come after him. He had seen the way he was with his brother. Watching that was bad enough. So, he got up from his seat and waited beside the tall man for Cynthia to follow suit.

Cynthia looked to Aaron, who kept his eyes on the ground, and then to Kevin. There was something fishy about all of this. She hesitated to get up, but finally did. With a loud sigh, she snatched her jell-o up from the table.

“Maybe the guys would like some jell-o?”

Cynthia purposely dropped her Styrofoam bowl of the green snack on the ground while she faked a ‘whoops’. Kevin just rolled his eyes and looked at his watch.

“Oh, darn. Aaron, will you help me get some jell-o for the guys? Do you want any Kevin?”

“No,” he snapped at the brunette. He didn’t have time for her antics. He needed to talk to the boy.

“Well, we’ll only take a minute. Hey, why don’t you just meet us up there?” She smiled smugly when she watched Kevin’s face. He was fuming. But she needed to get to the bottom of everyone’s strange behavior.

“I think I’ll just wait right here,” Kevin imitated the smug smile on Cynthia’s face just to boil her blood. He knew exactly how to push her buttons to make her hate him. Just like she knew what to do to make him want to drop-kick her across the room.

“Come on Aaron, let’s go get some J-E-L-L-O,” she grabbed the silent boy’s arm, tugging him to the direction of the line. When they reached the line, she immediately interrogated him. “What the hell is going on here? Why is he,” she jerked her thumb in the direction that Kevin was in, “acting so weird? Is he why you feel like you might get in trouble? You mentioned Nick? What about Nick?”

Aaron looked overwhelmed at her explosion of questions. He wanted to tell her all that he knew, but he could feel Kevin’s eyes on him. He could still feel his hands on his shoulders, warning him.

Just as Cynthia opened her mouth to ask even more questions, Kevin’s voice boomed across the room.

“Hey, the line is too long. I don’t even think they’d want to eat right now. Let’s go.”

Aaron released a sigh of relief, turning to walk back the elevators. He could hear Cynthia’s protests behind him, but he did not stop. He needed to get out of here. Fast.

The elevator ride back up to the fourth floor was just as quiet as the one down. Only this time, Cynthia stood behind the two males with her arms crossed and an angered look on her face. There was something not right about everything. She tried to think of all the possibilities, but she only drew a blank. All she felt was that Kevin was behind all this.

When they stopped on the floor of the ICU, Cynthia pushed her way past Aaron and Kevin, making her the first one out. She began to head back to the hall where Nick was, but stopped when she didn’t hear the light squeak of rubber soles on the floor behind her. Turing around, Cynthia saw that Kevin and Aaron were still in the elevator.

“Aaron’s going to leave now. I’ll walk him to his car.” Kevin nodded towards the blonde on his right, while giving Cynthia a halfhearted wave.

As the doors started to slide shut, Cynthia saw Kevin place his hand on Aaron’s shoulder again. Aaron was looking down at his feet, squirming slightly against the older man’s touch.

Yep, something was definitely going on.