Finding Our Way
Summary: Aj struggles with old feelings while Brian struggles with a failing marriage.
Rating: R (M/M Slash, drug use)
Chapter One. Nightmare

“Brian I love you so much I can’t think straight, I know everyone thinks I fell off the wagon because I wasn’t ready to get married to Sarah but the real reason is because I realized that with the birth of Baylee my dream of ever being with you was over.” Aj said.
Aj are you trying to tell me you’re in love with me? You know homosexuality goes against everything I was raised to believe. Just because I’m ok with Howie being gay doesn’t mean I am. And even if I were gay why would I want an addict? Because let’s face it that’s all you are and all you’ll ever be… Brian replied

Aj woke with a start. “Damn same dream.” Aj said softly. He looked at the clock it was 9:00 am. He gets up and heads for the bathroom deciding against going back sleep. The rest of the group would be there soon anyway so may as well get a jump start on the day. He showers and gets dressed before wandering downstairs looking through his fridge to find something to snack on before the guys arrived.

At Brian’s house.
“Brian I’m not going, I just don’t feel like putting up with your asshole of a cousin or Nick.” Leighanne called from the bathroom.
“Leigh baby I already told the guys I was bringing you and Baylee. You know how much Alex loves Baylee and he didn’t get to bond with him much because he was sick.” Brian argues through the bathroom door.
As she does another line of coke, she wipes her nose. “I didn’t say Baylee couldn’t go I just said I’m not going.” She says putting away the pouch and opening the door. She kisses Brian and goes to get Baylee ready for the day. Brian follows her and taking Baylee and getting ready to leave the house.

At Kevin’s house.
“Kevin baby are we eating there or do you think we’ll go out?” Kristin asked coming out of the walk-in closet putting on her earrings. “Seeing as how we’re going to AJ’s house if I had to guess I’d say we’re going out.” He said with a laugh. “Who do you think Howie wants us to meet?” She asks as they head downstairs. “His new boyfriend is all I know, but if we hurry over to J’s I’m sure he’ll tell us all about this new guy.”

At Howie’s house
“Howard do I look ok to meet your friends?” Viggo Mortenson asked standing in front of the mirror. “V I already told you, you don’t have to try to impress them just being yourself, and they’re going to love you.” Howie said wrapping arms around Viggo’s waist. The two lovers share a kiss and get ready to leave.

At Nick’s house
Nick looks himself over trying to make sure his appearance doesn’t give anything away. “Calm down Carter you’re just going to hang out with your best friends they don’t suspect anything.” He tells himself

Chapter Two. Secrets and Lies

Around 11:00 am the rest of the boys start arriving at Aj’s house, Kevin and Kristin being the first. Kevin walks in not bothering to knock, “We’re here!” Kevin yells from the living room. “I’ll be down in a sec you know what to do.” Aj calls from the bathroom. “Alright we’ll go make love on your pool table if that’s what you want.” Kevin says with a laugh. Kristin laughs and walks into the kitchen hoping maybe Aj has some edible food in the fridge. Aj comes downstairs. “Nobody get’s freaky on my pool table, but me old man.” Aj says flopping down on the couch next to Kevin. “Aj you knew we were all coming and yet you have no food.” Kristin states walking back into the living room. “I’d have food if you had married me instead of him pointing to Kevin.” He says with a smile

The next to arrive are Brian and Baylee “Hey guys you can start the party now that we’re here.” Brian says jokingly. Aj takes a deep breathe upon seeing Brian walk in with Baylee in his arms. “Party” Baylee says. Kevin gets up and goes over and starts tickling Baylee. “You wanna party huh little man.” He asks. Brian hands Baylee off to Kevin so they can play a little and walk over and puts his hands on Aj’s shoulders. “So do we have to order out or do you actually have food boner.” Brian asks smiling down at his friend. “We’re ordering out ‘cause he doesn’t have food.” Kristin says coming over and giving Brian a hug. “I do have food it’s just not in the cooked ready to eat form” They all laugh as Nick walks in. Baylee sees Nick and runs for him arms open “NICK.” The little boy screams. Nick throws his arms open and scream “BAYLEE” as he scoops the boy up and hugs him tightly. “Well it’s good to see he remembers you Frack seeing as how much you come over to play with him.” Brian says smiling at his best friend and son.

The last to arrive are Howie and Viggo, Viggo nervously waits for Howie to knock. Howie smiles over at his lover and opens the door pulling Viggo in with him. “Looks like we’re the last to arrive” Howie says more to himself then Viggo. “Yeah even I beat you and I’m rarely on time for anything.” Nick says walking over to Howie and hugging the man. “So who is this guy he looks familiar but I can’t place him” Nick says staring at Viggo. Howie pulls Viggo closer to him. “Um everyone this is.” He starts. “That’s Aragon.” Kristin says obviously star struck. Viggo blushes. “Yeah he is but his real name is Viggo Mortenson and he’s my boyfriend.” Howie says looking at everyone in the room trying to judge the reaction. “How long have you two been seeing each other?” Aj asks walking towards the couple. “Three months.” Viggo answers tighten his grip on Howie’s hand. “Three months and this is the first time I’ve met him? “ Aj says hurt evident in his voice. “J, You were the first to know I was seeing someone else.” Howie countered. “Save it Howard.” AJ says walking out of the room and out on to the back porch. “Well this is going to be a great get together.” Brian says with a sigh. “I’ll go talk to him.” Howie says walking towards the back door. “Like anyone else could or would even try.” Nick says looking at Kevin. “All I can say is I’m sorry ok.” Howie says sitting next to Aj in a chair. “I’m your best friend why did I have to meet him with everyone else?” Aj asks looking over at Howie tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking but I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.” Howie says reaching over and rubbing Aj’s hand gently. “Is he good to you and don’t lie cause I’ll find out if he’s not. “Aj he’s so…I don’t have words to describe it.” “From now on when you have news I expect to be the first to know in the group or I’ll never speak to you again for like a month.” Aj says smiling. “Ok, are we good?” Howie asked smiling at his best friend. “For now” Aj says getting up and walking back in the house. Howie follows jumping on Aj’s back.

“So you guys good now?” Kevin asks seeing the friends reenter the house. “What is he talking about D?” Aj asks looking at Kevin like he sprouted a second head. “You know what the Dr. said about his mind going and coming J.” Howie says hoping off of Aj. “Well while you two were doing what ever it is you two do to fix yourselves we found the food that’s not in the cooked ready to eat form and decided to cook.” Kristin says holding up a spatula. “Well Brian’s got to do the Mac and Cheese.” Aj said smiling over at the man. “Hey my baby can make some good Mac and Cheese Aj” Kevin says pulling out a pot. “Aww that’s sweet baby but we all know B-rok is the king of Mac and Cheese.” Kristin says giving Kevin a kiss.

Nick forces a smile on his face. The very thought of food was making his stomach hurt. “I’ll just watch the masters work cause I know I’m not allowed in the kitchen.” He says from the couch. “Let’s play cars Nick” Baylee says pulling out two cars out of his pocket. “Ok” Nick says taking a car from the boy

“Alright you two come eat.” Brian said smiling at his best friend and son. “One more lap Frick then we’re coming.” Nick called not looking up from his race around the coffee table. “It’ll be a sad day when Nick comes to the realization that he’s not a kid.” Aj said loud enough for Nick to hear. The two friends finish there race and go into the bathroom to wash up and then go in and sit at the table. “Nick as much as you like to think you’re a kid you’re not being waited on today bro.” Kevin said handing him an empty plate. “That’s not fair Brian’s fixing Baylee’s plate why can’t one of you fix mine? Nick whined. “No whining at the table.” Howie said smiling over at the younger man. They all watch as Nick takes a tiny amount of all the food. “You feel alright Nicky?” Aj asked slightly concerned. “Yeah, why?” Nick asked looking up from his plate. “It’s just that you usually eat more than that.” Kevin commented. “Um I’m not that hungry.” Nick replied a light blush creeping to his cheeks. “Wow we might actually have leftovers for once.” Aj laughed winking at Nick to let him know he’s joking.
After lunch everyone gathers in the living room to relax and chat a little before leaving. Nick excuses himself and run upstairs to the bathroom barely making it in time. After a few minutes he comes back downstairs looking a little pale. “You sure you’re alright?” Kevin asked concerned. “Yeah, I guess something didn’t agree with me.

At around 7:30pm everyone starts getting ready to leave. Baylee telling Brian he wasn’t sleepy while barely being able to hold his little head up.” Nick stay tonight wif me.” Baylee asked between yawns. “You have to ask your daddy if I can buddy.” Nick says tweaking the boy’s nose. “Daddy Nick can stay the night?” he asked letting his head flop down on his daddy’s shoulder. “Maybe tomorrow night when you’re not so sleepy that way you can stay up and play ok baby.” Brian says to the half asleep child in his arms. “Ok daddy.” Baylee replies before falling asleep. “So Aj you’re still coming over tomorrow right?” Howie asked. “Yeah tomorrow is BF Day right.” Aj questioned. “Yep” Howie confirmed. Everyone leaves and heads back to their homes.

Chapter three The fight

When Brian arrived home he expected to find Leighanne waiting for them, but she wasn’t home. After putting Baylee to bed he went down to the living room thinking maybe she left a note or something saying when she’d be back. There was no such luck. Deciding she probably just went over to a friends he took a shower and head to bed. At 1:00 a.m. Leighanne staggered into their bedroom tripping over her shoe which she had just taken off. She giggled loudly.. “Leigh is that you?” Brian asked half asleep. “Yesh go back to sleep babe I’m gonna take a quick shower.” She slurred. “It’s 1:00 in the morning Leighanne where have you been?” Brian asks getting angry that his wife has been gone all night. “Out with a few friends.” She answers getting undressed.

“What friends, god Leighanne you have a son now you can’t stay out all night.” Brian says angry. “Shut up bible thumper.” She says just before falling into the tub. Brian runs in the bathroom. “Are you ok?” He asks still angry, but worried at the same time. He walks over to her and can smell the alcohol on her. “You’re drunk!” he says loudly. “No shit, I have to drink to put up with you.”She slurs as she pulls her self to a standing position. “I’m going to take Baylee and leave for the night I don’t want to be around you and I don’t want my son around you.” “Whatever, Brian, whatever.” She says turning the water on.

Brian gets dressed and packs an over night bag for him and Baylee. He goes into Baylee’s room picking the sleeping child up out of his bed and carrying him out to the car. As he strapped the sleeping child in he tried to decide which on of his friends to turn to at this time of morning. He got in and start driving knowing only one of them would let him stay without too many questions well at least until morning. He drove to the house hoping he was right.

Aj was in the middle of the same dream he’d been having for the past few nights when he heard his doorbell. “Who the hell is it this time of night” He said drawing himself out of bed and downstairs. He looks out the peephole to see Brian standing there with a sleep Baylee in his arms. He opens the door. “Are you nuts get him in this house.” Aj said whispering. “Thanks Bone where can I lay him?” “Try the room with his name on the door that might be a good idea.” Aj said shaking his head. Brian takes Baylee upstairs and puts him back to bed. He turns around to see Aj leaning on the door frame. “I’m going back to bed but I expect a full explanation in the morning.” Aj says walking back to his room. Brian is thankful that he didn’t have to talk about it right now, he found his room and went to bed.

Chapter Four . The next Morning.

Brian awoke to the sound of laughter and the smell of food. He looked at the clock. “8:30 a.m.” He said with a sigh. He got out of bed and made his way downstairs to find Baylee and Aj watching cartoons.. Baylee looked up as his father entered the room. “Daddy, Uncle Aj tooked me to Micky D’s for breakfast, we gots you a mc.mc.” He says looking to Aj to help him with the big word. “McGriddle.” AJ said smiling at the boy. “McGriddle and some oj.” Baylee said handing his father the food and juice. “Thank you, baby boy and Alex.” Brian said “Hey Bay you stay in here and watch the show I’m gonna talk to your daddy in the kitchen ok” Aj says messing up the boys hair.

Brian follows Aj into the kitchen eating his breakfast. “You know normally I’d let you tell me what’s going on when you got ready but Bri, you came over here in the middle of the night with Baylee. What’s going on man.?” Aj said concerned about his friend. Brian sighs and looks at his long time friend. “Leighanne came home at 1:00 am last night drunk, when I confronted her she called me a bible thumper and said she had to drink to put up with me” Brian says his voice cracking with emotions. “Look, don’t worry about it it’s probably just her time of the month and she’s venting, but you know you and the rugrat are welcome to stay here as long as you need.” He said Brian pulled the younger man into a tight hug. Aj had to fight the urge to moan. He pushes away from the man. “ I’m going to go over to D’s and when I get back maybe the three of us can go to the store since I don’t really have any food.” Aj said smiling. “You want me to go?” Brian asked. Aj shrugs but pulls his wallet out and gives him three hundred dollars. He walks in the living room grabbing his keys and headed out the door. “See ya later Bay’ He calls as he closes the door. Once in the safety of his car he let out a scream. What was I thinking letting my biggest temptation stay here? Aj thinks

At Howie’s house

“What exactly is BF Day?” Viggo asked getting dressed. “Best Friend Day, we made it up years ago, we just set time aside every week to spend time together just the two of us it keeps our friendship strong.” Howie said giving the taller man a kiss. “Have you ever missed it?” Viggo asked standing up. “When he was…sick.” Howie said sadly. The doorbell rings seconds before the door opens and close. “If you’re not dressed you better get that way fast I’m coming up.” Aj called on his way upstairs. “He’s kidding right?” Viggo asked as the bedroom door opens. “Guess not.” He says. “I was hoping to see you in your skivvies D.” Aj said smiling at the two men. “Funny, but what would you have done if we had be making love.” Howie asked. “Ran downstairs to get the popcorn.” Viggo looked at the two men. “So I was thinking on the drive over here that since I haven’t had a chance to interrogate I mean talk to him much how about we make an exception this once and allow him to come with us.” Aj said walking towards the actor. For some reason Viggo found himself a little afraid of the tattooed man. “Sure, where do you wanna go?” Howie asked his best friend “Let’s let the guest of honor decide. “We could just stay here and watch the trilogy.” Viggo offered looking nervously at the two friends. “I’m only agreeing to this because I can finally tell Kristin that I’ve seen these movies.” Aj said winking at Howie.After watching all three The Lord of The Rings movies Aj headed home stating if he didn’t he would end up being gay.

As Aj made his way home he thought about what his life would be like if he and Brian could be together. It was about 8:30pm when he arrived home. Walking to the door he heard giggles and screeches. They’re playing. He thought as he entered the house.
“Glad to see you guys making yourselves at home.” He said catching Baylee in his arms. “Thanks for letting us.” Brian said slightly winded from chasing his son. “No prob.” Aj replied. “I cooked chicken breast and rice.” Brian told Aj as he took his son. “Oh, you guys weren’t waiting on me before you ate were you?” Aj asked a little concerned. “Heck no I know how you and D are when you’re together.” Brian said smiling at his long time friend. “Good cause I already ate.” “Alright Baylee I let you stay up so you could tell uncle Aj good night so now it’s time to go to bed.” Brian said ruffling the boy’s hair. “Kay, Night uncle Aj.” Baylee said giving Aj a hug and a kiss. “Good night Bay and wake your daddy up in the morning not me.” He said laughing. Aj and Brian stayed up for a couple of hours before going to bed themselves. Brian’s cell phone rings around 2 a.m. waking him from a fitful sleep. “Hello?”

Chapter 5 Emergency.

“Brian it’s me Kevin come down to the hospital Nick’s hurt.” Kevin said his voice shaking with emotion. Brian jumped out of bed and headed down the hall to Aj’s room only to be met in the hall. “Kristin is on her way over to stay with Bay.” Aj tells him getting dressed. Both men jumped when the door bell rang. Brian let Aj get the door while he threw his clothes on. “Do you know what happened?” Aj asked a clearly upset Kristin. “We think he tried to kill himself.” She said breaking into tear. “Not Frack, he wouldn’t do that.” Brian said in disbelief. The two backstreet boys left for the hospital silently praying for their friend and band mate. “May I help you?” A nurse asked them as they arrived. “Carter?” Aj asked. She takes the two men to a waiting room where Kevin, Howie , Viggo and Aaron Carter were waiting. Brian rushed into his cousins arms needing the support. Viggo looked up and saw Aj walk into the room and stepped back a little allowing the friends to hug and comfort each other. “How could he do this?” Brian asked through tears. No one answered. “He’s been a little down lately but I didn’t think it was that bad.” Aaron said in between sobs. “He could have called me and he knows that.” Brian said a little angry. “He can call any of us Bri. he knows we’re here for him.” Aj said reaching out to the man. All they could do was wait for the doctors to come out.

After several hours the doctor came out. “Carter family?” “Yes” Kevin said standing up. “How is he, is he going to be alright?” Brian asked hoping for the best. “Well Mr. Carter is in serious condition, he lost a lot of blood, he‘s lucky to be alive.” The doctor said taking off his glasses rubbing his eyes. “We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage. We had to give him three pints of blood just to stabilize him.” The doctor explained. “But he’s going to be ok?” Kevin asked. “He should make a full recovery.” The doctor said. “Thank you so much.” Aaron said shaking the doctor’s hand.

“When can we go see him?” Aj asked. “He should be awake enough for a few minutes of visiting in about ten minutes but don’t stay to long.” The doctor says before leaving. “I’m going to kill him when he’s better, pulling a stunt like this..” Howie says looking at his friends and boyfriend. “Not before I do.” Kevin says. “Save some for the rest of us.” Aj says. “Why would he want to hurt himself was he dating anyone or anything.” Aaron asked looking at Brian figuring if anyone knew why his brother would do such a thing it would be him. “I don’t think so if he was he didn’t mention it to me.” Brian says shaking his head. Ten minutes later they are walking towards his room. Kevin pushes open the door. “Nicky?” He says softly not wanting to wake him if he was sleeping but wanting the boy to know they were coming in. “Hey , come on in.” Nick said smiling sadly. They all walked in except for Viggo he didn’t feel it would be right going in to see the young man whom he’d only met a two days before. “You ok Kaos?” Howie asked. “Yeah, I’m sorry you guys had to come all the way out here in the middle of the night for this nonsense.” Nick replied. “You’re not nonsense Nicky, we love you and would do anything in the world to help you, and you know that right?” Aj asked looking at the young man. “Yeah I know.” Nick said quietly. “Why Frack why would you do this?” Brian said his voice cracking with emotions. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself, I just cut a little too deeply no big deal” Nick said nonchalantly. “Do you guys mind if I talk to Nick alone for a moment?” Kevin asked. Everyone agreed to leave after making sure it was ok with Nick. “How long?” Kevin asked. “About a year.” Nick replied softly not looking at the older man. “Why? I mean why hurt yourself?” Kevin asked taking Nicks hand gently in his. “I’m not like you and the rest of the guys” Nick said looking away from Kevin. “How so baby tell me what you mean.” Kevin said stroking Nick’s hands with his. “I’m not thin , or beautiful like you and the guys ok Kev, and no matter what I do I keep gaining weight. Nick said tears streaming down his face. “Nobody expects you to be thin.” Kevin says reassuringly. “Yes they do, the fans expect me to have a six pack like you.” Nick said looking down at his body. “How does cutting play into all this Nicky?” Kevin asked needing to understand. “When I overeat I cut myself as punishment.” Nick explained. “Punishment? Nick you’re human you’re suppose to eat.” Kevin said fighting to stay calm. “Not as much as I do, I mean I can eat a large pizza by myself with no problems Kev.” Nick says upset. “I think I’m going to check myself into a help center for the obese.” Nick tells his friend. “Please don’t do that Nicky, Let us help you. Kevin asks. “How you guys can’t be around me 24/7 you have your own lives to live.” Nick told Kevin. “You’re apart of our lives Nicky, please you can come stay with me and Kristin and I’ll help you with your issues.” Kevin pleaded. “I don’t want to be a burden to you and Kristin.” Nick said shaking his head. “You’re not a burden Nick you’re my lil brother. I’d do anything to help you.” Kevin said tears slowly falling down his face. “I don’t know Kev I mean I may need professional help.” Nick said looking up at the older man. “We can get you a counselor.” Kevin said reassuringly “Ok but I don’t want you guys to stop living your lives because I’m sick..and don’t try telling me I’m not sick I know I am.” Nick said in tears. “We won’t I promise bro.” Kevin said kissing the man on the lips lightly.

After their talk Kevin brought the rest of the guys in so that Nick could tell them what was going on. “I’ve been struggling with my weight for years you guys know that but what you don’t know is that I’ve also been hurting myself. I cut myself as punishment for over eating. This time I just cut to deep and in the wrong place. But with Kevin’s help and some counseling I’m going to get over this.” Nick explained to his shocked friends and family. “What about the rest of us how can we help?” Brian asked looking at his best friend. “You guys can help by not judging me and supporting me. I’m human so I’m going to mess up sometimes.” Nick said watching the reactions. “You’re human? When did this happen? Aj said trying to lighten the air. The nurse walks in telling the group they have to leave. “Can Brian stay?” Nick asked sheepishly. “Of course I’ll stay.” Brian said looking over at Aj. “I’ll take care of the rugrat till you get home.” Aj said smiling. They said good bye to Nick and promised to come back to see him later. Nick turned to his best friend. “So you’re staying with Aj?” “Yeah um me and Leighanne had a fight and I went to his house.” “Does he know?”

Chapter Six Secrets Revealed.

“Well of course he knows I mean that was the first thing I did when I showed up at his house at 1:30 in the morning. NO he doesn’t know and I’m going to keep it that way.” Brian said looking at his feet. “Why? I mean don’t you think you should at least tell him now I mean you’re staying in his house for crying out loud Brian.” Nick replied. “In case you’ve forgotten I’m married with a child.” Brian said angrily. “No I haven’t but can you honestly tell me you don’t feel anything for him?” “You know I can’t. Look, it doesn’t matter ok I’m married with a child, so it’s just a dream that will never come true ok.” Brian told his best friend. They talked a little while long before both falling asleep.

Aj asked Howie if he and Viggo would come over to his house so he could talk to them so Kristin could go home. They agreed of course. Once the three of them arrived at Aj’s house, they filled Kristin in on most of it leaving out the fact that Nick would be staying with them they’d let Kevin tell her that. After she left Howie walked over to Aj taking his hand and leading him over to the couch.”Now what is it you wanted to talk about?” He asked. “I’m in love.” Aj replied sadly. “That’s great!” Howie exclaimed. “Do I know them?” Howie asked eagerly. Aj Nodded. “Tell me J, I’m dying here.” Howie said excitedly. “Brian.” Aj said just above a whisper. “What about Brian?, Are you in love with Leighanne?” Howie asked confused. “He’s in love with Brian babe.” Viggo says watching Aj’s reaction. “Wait a minute you mean our Brian Littrell?” Howie asked trying to understand. “Yes that Brian ok D.” Aj said upset. “AJ Brian’s married and he has a son you know he wouldn’t leave his family….not to mention he’s not even gay, bi or anything else.” Howie explained. “Don’t you think I know that Howie and I would never ask him to, it’s just that I’m afraid I might say something or do something and I would have ruined a good friend ship, I want to ask him to leave but how can I when every fiber of my being wants him to stay with me.” Aj said through tears. “I don’t know maybe you could talk to Leighanne and have her ask Brian to come back home or something.” Howie suggested. “You think she’d do that I mean it’s been two days now and she hasn’t called even once and she has to know where he is.” Aj said worried. “After you’ve slept and ate drop Baylee off with us and go talk to her.” Viggo suggested hoping it was alright with Howie. Howie smiled brightly “Told ya he was good.” “Just shut up and get out.” Aj said playfully. The two lovers left.

8 hours later Aj was up showered and getting Baylee ready. He smiled as he thought to himself that he could get use to having Baylee around all the time. “I go to uncle Howie house and den what?” Baylee asked as Aj pulled his shirt on over his head. “Um then you guys get to have lots of fun and when you come back I think your daddy will be home. “Uncle Howie makes some fried plants!” Baylee says clapping his hands. “I’m sure he will make you some fried plantains.” Aj said smiling at the child. He finished dressing the child and took him downstairs, getting into his car and heads over to Howie’s.

At Howie’s house Viggo sat in the kitchen watching Howie search the kitchen for something. “Anything I can help with?” Viggo asked watching Howie’s ass. “No and stop staring at my ass.” Howie said with a smile. “I’m not staring at it, just admiring the craftsmanship of your jeans.” Viggo said standing up and walking over to Howie. Aj and Baylee arrive and ring the doorbell. Neither Howie nor Viggo move to answer the door knowing Aj would just come in anyway. “We here!” Bayle announces. Howie comes out of the kitchen followed by Viggo. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Howie says picking Baylee up. “Uncle Aj had to get dressed.” Baylee explains. “Oh I see.” Howie says with a wink. “Now Bay be go for uncle Howie and...” Aj pauses looking at the two men. “Uncle Viggo.” Viggo says smiling at Baylee. “Another uncle!” Baylee says excitedly. Aj smiles and walks out the door going to his car start driving towards Brian’s house.

He pulls into the driveway getting out and going over to the door. He knocks hoping Leighanne was home and not out. “It’s open” Leighanne says through the intercom. Aj pushes open the door and is taken by surprise at the condition of the house. “Leighanne where are you?” Aj calls . She stumbles out of the kitchen in a nightshirt. “Oh hey Aj.” She slurs. “Don’t mind the mess I fired the maid.” Leighanne says walking towards the stunned Backstreet Boy. “Are you ok? I mean I’ve never seen you like this before.” Aj says concerned. “I’m great, hey you want a line I’ve got some coke in the kitchen.” She says as if it was an acceptable thing to say. “What?, Hell no!” Aj says pissed at offer. “Suit yourself.” The front door opens. Aj turns around to see who’s coming in. “Who the hell are you?” The man asks. “I should be asking you.” Aj says clearly shocked. “Aj this is Chris, my boyfriend. don’t tell Brian ok.” Leighanne says draping her arm around Aj’s shoulder. “Don’t tell Brian?!” Aj screams. “You don’t fucking deserve him.” Aj says spitefully. “Oh and you better believe I’m going to tell him all about this shit.” Aj says pushing away from her. “But Aj you don’t want to hurt Brian do you? I mean think of what a divorce is going to do to him?” Leighanne pleads. “No one would believe him anyway babe he has no proof. Aj walks out of the house, he pulls out his cell phone.”No proof my ass.” He says to himself. He leaves and drives around trying to process what just happened. He drives around for a little bit longer and ends up at the hospital. He goes upstairs to see Nick. As he approaches the door he feels a hand on his shoulder. “He’s in the psychologist.” Brian tells his friend. “Oh” Aj says turning around to look at his friend. “Um want to go get a bite to eat?” Aj asks. “Sure they could be in there a while.” Brian agrees. The two men leave and go down to Aj’s car. “Where’s Baylee?” Brian asks a little worried. “Oh he’s with Howie and Viggo, I’m sure by now they’re making fried plants.” Aj says looking over at the clueless man. How am I going to tell him. Aj thinks. They go to McDonald’s; after getting their food they sit in a booth. “Brian I have a secret that could hurt some one I love, but they need to know this secret. How do I tell them the secret knowing that it could destroy their life as they know it.” Aj asked “Does the risk of telling them out weight the risk of not telling them?” Brian asked stealing a fry. “Yeah.” “Then tell them.” “Ok.” Aj looks at Brian for a minute gathering his thoughts. “Brian you know I care about you and would never do anything to hurt you, right.” Aj say. “Yeah I know.” Brian says. “Leighanne is cheating on you.” Aj says tears in his eyes. “What?, that can’t be true she loves me.” Brian says unwilling to believe what he’s hearing. “I met him his name is Chris.” Aj said sadly. “You’re lying!.” Brian screams standing up from the table. Aj pulls out his cell phone and shows Brian the pictures of his house looking like it hadn’t been cleaned in a year instead of the two days he’d been gone. “I need to go home.” Brian said looking at the pictures.

Chapter Seven The Confrontation

Against his better judgment Aj took Brian to his house. “ Do you want me to come in ?” Aj asked nervously. “No, I don’t want you to witness anything.” Brian said getting out of the care. “Shit.” Aj says getting out of the car and pulling out his cellphone.
“Hello?” “Hey Kris is Kevin there?” Aj asked walking towards the house. “Hello?” Kevin says. “Get over to Bri’s house now.” Aj said hanging up running into the house after hearing something inside break. “Bri!” Aj yells. “Get the fuck out!” Brian screams from upstairs. “It’s my fucking house too!” Leighanne screams .Just as Aj made his way up the stairs he sees Chris slam into Brian knocking him to the floor punching him in, Aj runs full steam at them and pushes Chris off of Brian. Chris then gets up and startes throwing punches at the two men. Leighanne grabs Aj and tries to pull him off Chris. He pushes her out of the way and continues trying to help Brian fight off Chris. Chris has Brian on the floor choking him. Aj tries with everything he has to break the hold Chris has on Brian but can’t.

Kevin runs in the house. He sees Aj fighting with Leighanne and runs upstairs. Brian has turned blue in the face. Kevin kicks Chris in the face knocking him off of Brian. Brian coughs trying to catch his breath. Chris gets up and is about to attack Kevin when the police burst through the door guns drawn. Seeing the police Leighanne runs in the bedroom to try to get rid of the cocaine before they come upstairs. A female officer runs in the bed room before she can completely dispose of the evidence. The paramedics take Brian out to the ambulance to check him over and make sure he’s ok. Kevin comes out followed by Aj. “Bri go and let them check you out, just to be on the safe side “Kevin says. “We’ll meet you there.” Aj says. “You need to be checked out too Alex.” Brian says “I’ll make sure he is when we get there.” Kevin assured him. The paramedics take Brian to the hospital with Kevin and Aj close behind them. Chris is arrested for assault, while Leighanne is arrested for possession of a narcotic. At the hospital Brian is checked by the E.R. and told he’s a little beat up but will be fine with some rest. The same is told to Aj. As soon as he’s released Brian calls his lawyer and tells him to draw up the divorce papers and custody papers as well.

Brian goes back to Aj’s after calling Howie and explaining to him everything that has happened. “So you want us to keep Baylee for the night?” Howie asked. “ If you and Viggo don’t mind.” Brian said. “Baylee! He said yes!.” Howie calls out to the boy in the other room playing with Viggo. “Yay I talk to him pease.” Baylee says running into living room where Howie is. “Daddy I got another uncle, and he likes to play in de pool.” Baylee says excitedly. “Good I’m glad you like him, but no going in the pool unless he or uncle Howie says it’s ok.” Brian says smiling. “Love you daddy.” “Love you too baby” Brian says before Baylee hands the phone back to Howie. “I’ll see you later D and thanks for letting him stay the night.” “No thank you I’ve been getting bribed into telling you we would return him at a later date.” Howie says laughing. The two men hang up.

Chapter 8 The beginning

A week later Nick is being released from the hospital after talking to the hospital shrink and having Kevin assuring them that he would get the help he needed. “Is Kristin ok with me being there?” Nick asked Kevin. “For the sixth and final time Yes Nick she’s ok with it.” Kevin’s cell phone rings. “Hello? Baby we just got discharged Kris we haven’t even left his room yet. I’m not lying here you talk to her.” Kevin hands Nick the phone. “Hello, no we’re walking out right now. I’m in a wheelchair. I’m sure Kevin will drive safely. Um I don’t care what you fix for lunch. Ok I’ll see you in a few. Bye.” Nick hands the phone back to Kevin. “If you so much as hit a pothole Kristin’s going to kill you.” Nick says smiling a real smile for the first time in a long time. “You’d think I was transporting a priceless vase or something.” Kevin says playfully rolling his eyes. “Is it ok if I come over and help him get settled and see if we can give you a few more gray hairs? Brian asked smiling. “Like I could stop you.” Kevin says playfully shoving his cousin.

Meanwhile at Aj’s house he and Howie are making lunch for the four of them. “Is Bri going to stay here?” Howie asked as he put the ham and cheese sandwiches in the panni press. “Yeah, he doesn’t want to be alone.” Aj answered spreading the peanut butter on a slice of bread for Baylee just in case the four year old didn’t want a ham and cheese sandwich. Howie takes some turkey and bacon out of the fridge. He looks over at AJ. “Viggo doesn’t like ham.” He explains. “D, don’t let this turn into another Marshal ok?” Aj said softly. “It’s not like that he doesn’t demand stuff be done a certain way.” Howie responds looking into the living room at his boyfriend and Baylee playing. With the sandwiches done AJ gets out the chips and sodas for them. “V, it’s time to eat, you and Baylee go wash up and come eat.” Howie says sitting the food on the table. “We just washed them this morning they’re still clean.” Viggo says with a smile. “Fine, no lunch for you.” Howie says smiling. “We gots to wash ‘em if we wanna eat uncle Viggo uncle Howie don’t play around when it comes to clean hands and eatin’.” Baylee says pulling Viggo into the bathroom so they can wash their hands. They are in the bathroom for six minutes before Aj goes over and opens the door finding the two playing with the soap making lots of bubbles. “Come eat your food’s getting cold.” Aj says shaking his head. Maybe Viggo wasn’t that bad after all. He thought to himself. The four sat down and started eating. “Is this light mayo?” Viggo asks. “ No I don’t buy light.” Aj says looking at Howie for any type of reaction. “I like it.” Viggo says looking at Howie. “I’m sure you do, but I only buy light.” Howie says smiling. Viggo pouts and finishes his lunch. “uncle Aj?” Baylee says peanut butter all over his face. “Yes Bay, what happened to your face.” Aj says laughing. “You think daddy will let me go see my nana and pop pop in tucky? I misses them bunches.” “I’m sure your dad will but not with a face covered in peanut butter.” Aj smiles down at the boy. “When he comes home you can ask him ok?” Aj tells Baylee. They finish their lunch and settle down to watch a movie until Brian gets home.

At around 6:30 Brian walks in. “Hey, guys I’m home.” Baylee jumps off the couch and runs over to his daddy. “I missed you daddy.” Baylee says hugging his daddy tightly. “I missed you too baby.” Brian said standing up holding Baylee. “How’s Nicky?” Howie asked “He’s good I think he’s going to be ok.” Brian said looking at his long time friends. “Daddy?” Baylee says looking up at his dad.”Yes baby boy.” Brian said looking down at Baylee. “Can I go visit nana and pop pop in tucky? I misses them.” Baylee asks sadly. “Let’s go call them and see if they feel up to having a Baylee around.” “J, do you mind if I call my parents my cell is about dead.” Brian asked “I don’t have to answer stupid questions do I D?” “No, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Aj stuck his tongue out at Brian as Brian walked over and snatched the phone from between Aj and Howie. After a few minutes on the phone he comes back. “Baylee how long were you planning to stay with them?” “Just a little while.” Baylee says looking at his daddy. “You know uncle Harold’s birthday is coming up and nana said Uncle Harold has been bragging about beating you at some game.” Brian said smiling. “He no beat me, I been reading chaper books!” “Hey, I’m just telling you what she said.” Brian said holding his hands up in defense. “We leave Thursday morning ok?” Brian says “I read two chaper books already and grown up books no count.” Baylee says walking back over to the couch.

The trip.

It’s 2am Thursday morning and Aj and Brian are packing the car for the airport. “Thanks for coming with me J, I don’t want to face them alone.” Brian said “ No problem, but you didn’t really give me a choice now did you and I quote “ Here are your tickets to Kentucky don’t worry I made sure you got the aisle seat.” Aj says with a smile.”Is
everything packed?” Brian asked looking the car over. “Yeah all but the reason we’re up at this ungodly time.” Aj answered through a yawn. “I was trying to let him sleep in as long as I could you know how cranky he gets.” Brian said. Brian runs in the house and picks up the sleeping child. “No daddy I seeping.” Baylee says pushing his daddy away. “We’ve got to go to the airport baby nana and pop pop are going to be sad if you don’t come.” Brian says as he grabs Baylee’s teddy bear. He carries the sleeping child downstairs and puts him in the car. “You sure Nick’s going to come pick my car up?” Aj asks as Brian gets in the car. “Yes, He said he’d get it the first thing in the morning after breakfast.” Brian says reassuringly. They drove to the airport talking quietly as not to wake the sleeping child until they had to. They arrive at the airport and start unpacking the car on luggage cart.”Can you get Bay for my Alex?” Brian asks as he finishes loading the cart. “Sure babe.” Aj says before realizing it. Brian tightens his grip on the bag handle he’s carrying as he fights to stay in control. Aj busies himself undoing Baylee’s car seat and taking him out. Brian walks over and reaches into Aj’s jacket pocket and grabs the keys and locks the car.”When we get inside call and make sure Nick goes by the house and gets the spare set please.” Aj says shifting Baylee in his arms. Brian smiles at the younger man holding his son and then reminds himself that it’s just friendship nothing more. “Not daddy.” Baylee says as he starts waking up. “No, Daddy’s over there getting our tickets to Kentucky.” Aj says smiling at the half awake child. “You come too?” Baylee asks. “Yeah.” Aj tells the now awake child. They check in and go through security with almost not trouble. “Let’s go try to find something to eat guys I’m sure Baylee’s hungry. “ Brian says putting his backpack on and grabbing Baylee’s hand. Aj starts walking towards CinnaBun. “Something more nutritious than that Alex.” Brian said smiling. Aj turns and pouts at Brian. “Lead the way oh fun spoiler.” He says grabbing Baylee’s hand. Brian heads for a Burger King. “They need a Mickey D’s in this place.” Aj grumbles to Baylee. “Uh huh.” Baylee agrees.

After eating they wait for their plane and after only 2 hours of waiting they board and head for Kentucky. Baylee plays with his teddy and soon falls asleep using his daddy as a pillow. Aj closes his eyes not daring to fall asleep this close to Brian as he has a tendency to talk in his sleep. Brian on the other hand falls asleep leaning against the window.

Chapter 10 Kentucky

Aj wakes up as Brian was taking Baylee to the restroom. He cursed himself as he realized he had fallen asleep despite his best efforts to stay awake. The captain announces they will be landing in Lexington Bluegrass Airport in about 20 minutes. Brian comes back with Baylee. “Who’s picking us up at the airport?” Aj asked looking over at Brian as he buckled Baylee back in. “I don’t know.” Brian said winking at Aj. “Uncle Harry better not be cheating huh daddy.” Baylee said looking out the window. “That’s right. If he’s cheating I’ll have uncle Aj beat him up.”Brian says.

Meanwhile at the airport.

“Do you think it’s a coincidence that Brian is staying with AJ” Tim asks. “No, but I can’t say anything because I promised my source I wouldn’t, not to mention that it would cause all kinds of questions for Bri and he’s not ready for that yet.” Kevin says. “I just hope Aj feels the same way I mean it would kill Bri if he told him and he didn’t feel the same way.” Tim says finally finding a parking space after looking for half an hour.

They land and get their luggage. As they’re walking towards the exit they hear a loud, long whistle known to all members of the BSB. Aj’s head whips around as he sees Kevin standing there with a smile on his face. Baylee breaks free of his dad and runs full steam to his uncle.” I didn’t knowed you was on the plane too.” Baylee says giving Kevin a hug. “I wasn’t I came up here last night.” Kevin says smiling when he sees Aj and Brian pushing the luggage cart. “That’s why I couldn’t tell you on the plane he wanted to surprise Baylee.” Brian says looking at a shocked Aj. “It’s cool but if you’re here who’s with Nick?” Aj asked Kevin. “Nick is at home with Aaron and the girls.” Kevin Answered.

They leave the airport and walk out to the car where Tim is waiting. “Tim.” Baylee says trying to act unexcited to see his cousin.”Baylee.” Tim says in the same manner. “Alright the father of the youngest person in the car has to drive.” Kevin announces as Tim climbs into the backseat with Baylee. “What?! That’s not fair.” Brian whines.”Don't worry Bri I'll keep you company.” Aj says getting in the front seat.”You just wan to control the radio.” Brian says smiling. “And that's a problem how?” Aj says looking back at Kevin. Kevin rolls his eyes and shakes his head knowing it was about to be the longest 45 minutes of his life.
“I love this songs.” Baylee says trying to snap his little fingers. “I know isn't it the best?” Aj asks. Brian is gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles are turning white.

“Aj, please turn that song off.” Brian asks through clenched teeth. “Ok, what should we play next Baylee?” Aj asks looking back at the child. “Um, Daddy's song.” Baylee says.
“Which one?” Kevin asks, anything is better than what was on now. “ How me falls in love wif you.” Baylee says. “I don't sing that baby Uncle Howie does.” Brian says, “You sings it sometimes daddy.” Baylee counters. Aj starts the song. Brian swerves a little in response to the song. “Sings daddy.” Baylee says from the backseat Brian starts singing never one to turn down a request from his son. “Not dat one daddy da real one.” Baylee says starting to get a little angry that his daddy isn't singing the song right.
“Member when we neber needed each other, like broder and broder. That how it goes daddy,” Baylee says crossing his arms and pouting. Brian turns beet red, but sings the song the way he did when he thought no one was around. They pull into his parents driveway as the song ends. His parents are waiting in the door. Kevin and Tim exchange a look. “Out!” Baylee says. Kevin laughs and undoes the car seat and opens the door letting Baylee out. He runs to his grandparents as the rest of the group start getting the bags out. “Oh Alex I didn't know you were coming.” Jackie says hugging the man. “Yeah he didn't either until last last night.” Brian says hugging his dad. “Well, ya'll come on in the house mommas got some chicken and mac and cheese cooked for lunch.” Harold says. They go inside and sit down to eat. “Where's that runt of a nephew of mine.” Harold III says. “I no a runt and you better not be cheating or my uncle Aj will get you.” Baylee says holding his drumstick up. “I'm not cheating.” Harold says stealing a bite of Baylee's Mac and cheese. They finish eating lunch. “Brian you and Alex are going to have to share a room ok we don't have enough room for everyone.” Jackie says. Aj chokes on a cookie he had just bit. “J, you ok bro.” Kevin says patting him on the back. “Yeah, stop before you collapse a lung.” Aj says pushing Kevin's hand away.

“You hit too darn hard when you're patting people Kev.” Aj says trying to cover for the mistake. “I'm trying to help next time I'll let you choke.” Kevin says pushing Aj into Brian. Brian catches Aj. “Boys.” Jackie says looking at the four men. “He started it.” Kevin says pointing at Aj. “Did not.” Aj says Brian realizes he's still holding onto Aj and lets go causing Aj to almost fall. “What the.” Aj says as he catches himself before falling. The family stays up talking for a little while. Baylee's asleep in his uncle Harold arms. “I'm going to go lay Bay down.” Harold says, “I'm gonna turn in too.” Kevin says yawning. Everyone heads to bed. “I'll sleep on the couch.” Aj offered. “You act like we've never shared a bed before.” Brian said. They go in the bedroom, and start getting undressed. It takes everything Aj has not to watch Brian get undressed. He fails and looks over at Brian as he's taking his undershirt off. He shivers. “What?” Brian asked looking at his friend. “Never really looked at it.” Aj says his eyes downcast. “It's just a reminder of how blessed I truly am to be here.” Brian said running his hand gently down the scar. Aj strips down to his boxers and hops into bed.

Brian lays down next to him. “I guess I'll start looking for a place for me and Baylee when we get back.” Brian says as he turns his back to Aj. “No rush I'm actually getting use to you guys being there.” Aj says. “Yeah but I know how you like to have company and you can't because of me and Baylee.” Brian replies. “I haven't had company in about a year Bri, and you and Baylee have not be living with me that long besides I want you guys to stay.” Aj says closing his eyes but dreading sleep. “Really?” Brian asks. “Yeah.” Aj answers. “ I love you.” Brian whispers. “I love you too.” Aj says.

Brian rolls over to face Aj. I'm about to either make the biggest mistake of my life and lose a really good friend, or I'm about to get everything I ever hoped for. “No Alex I love you.” Brian said nervously. “I know and I love you too.” Aj says laughing. “Oh my god!, you don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words from you.” Brian said tears rolling down his cheeks. “Brian I love you so much I can’t think straight, I know everyone thinks I fell off the wagon because I wasn’t ready to get married to Sarah but the real reason is because I realized that with the birth of Baylee my dream of ever being with you was over.” Aj said.

Aj leans forward and kisses Brian lightly on the lips. Brian pulls Aj closes and deepens the kiss, having wanted it so long. Aj breaks the kiss. “We can't do this here Bri, I mean we're in your parents house.” Aj said leaning away from Brian. “I know, but we can cuddle right?” Brian asks. “Yeah they won't think much about that and if they ask just tell them it was my fault that I'll cuddle anything that lays next to me.” Aj said laying down wrapping his arms around Brian. For the first time in two years both men slept peacefully.

Kevin and Tim sneak into Brian's room to see what's happening between them, hoping their plan had worked. Kevin smiles as he sees Aj cuddled close to Brian and Brian smiling in his sleep. The brothers close the door and high five each other. Their plan had work.

The next morning Brian awoke feeling happier then he'd felt in years. He was now complete. He had everything he wanted, the man he loved and a child. Baylee came into the room to get his daddy for breakfast. “Daddy?” Baylee called from the door. “Yes sweetheart.” Brian answered smiling at his son. Baylee ran over to his dad and jumped on the bed. “Nana made pancakes and eggs.” Baylee said looking at his uncle Aj's arm resting on his daddy's chest. “That sounds great.” Brian says. “Uncle Aj likes to cuddle huh daddy?” Baylee asks. “Yeah he does and he doesn't care who it is.” Brian said smiling. “Uncle AJ!” Baylee says shaking Aj's shoulder. “Yes Bay. Aj asks sleep heavy in his voice. “You gonna miss the pancakes.” Baylee says climbing on top of his uncle. “You'll save me some.” Aj says now more awake but not opening his eyes. Baylee leans on his chest and pulls his eyes open. “Wake up.” Baylee says. Aj reaches up to support Baylee so he could sit up without hurting the child, he then starts tickling him mercilessly. “Daddy help!!” Baylee screams between fits of laughter. Brian laughs and starts tickling a very ticklish Aj. “Ok, Ok I give up.!” Aj says through laughter. They slip into their clothes and head downstairs “I waked 'em up nana.” Baylee says as he sits in his chair. “Good, I didn't want breakfast to get cold.” Jackie says smiling at Brian. Some thing was different about Brian that she didn't see last night. Kevin and Tim come downstairs smiling. “What have you two done?” Jackie asks. “What makes you think we've done anything?” Tim ask giving her his best innocent look. “I can see your horn Timothy.” Jackie says. They all sit down and start eating breakfast. “KEVIN!!!” Harold jr. screams from upstairs. He comes downstairs and half of his beard is shaved. “You look funny like that uncle Harry.” Baylee says with a mouth full of eggs “Don't talk with your mouth full Baylee.” Brian says trying not to look at his brother. Aj is fighting with everything he has not to laugh, but its lost cause. He burst out laughing. Brian hears Aj laughing and looses his battle as well. “Boo, pay backs a female dog.” Harry says as he starts fixing his plate. “Baylee are you going to stay with me and pop pop for a little while?” Jackie asks. “Yes ma'am I stay for a little while.” Baylee say finishes his breakfast. Everyone finishes their breakfast. Harold Sr, ask if he can talk to Aj alone for a moment. Aj looks at Brian a little fear in his eyes. They walk outside and start walking towards the lake. “Thanks for everything you've done for Bri and Baylee during this time.” Harold says. “It's not a problem he's been there for me so many times.” Aj says. “He's a good boy, he deserves to be loved.” Harold says looking at Aj. “I know.”

“I won't beat around the bush because I don't believe in doing that. Don't hurt my boy.” Harold Sr. says looking at a stunned Aj. “You know?” Aj asks a little above a whisper. “Of course I know, I've known about his feelings for you for a while but I didn't know if you felt the same way until last night.” Harold Sr. says. “I also know about your past, but I don't think I have to worry about you cheating on him do i?” Harold Sr. Asked. “No sir you don't, I've stayed on a straight path because of Brian. I knew he couldn't stand the old Alex. I'll do whatever it takes to be with him. “ Aj says. “Would you walk through hell for him?” Harold Sr. asked. “I would face Satan himself he stood between me and Brian and Baylee.” Aj says “So Baylee's not just baggage?” “I love Baylee as if he were my own.” “That's what I wanted to hear.” Harold says.

Chapter 11 True Happiness

After spending a few days at his parents house helping his brother celebrate his birthday, Brian and Aj prepares to leave and head back to California. “Baylee are you sure you don't want to come back with us?” Brian asks his son. “I stay for a little while daddy.” Baylee says not looking up from the book he's reading. “I'll bring him back with me ok Bri?” Kevin says helping his cousin take the bags out to the car. “I guess I'm driving since we're leaving Bay here.” Tim says smiling at his cousin. “I call shotgun.” Kevin says shoving Aj into the backseat. “Great now we've got to listen to old fart music.” Aj says “I'm going to tell D you said that about his music.” Kevin says slipping the Cd into the radio. “Wait when did he release a Cd?” Aj asks a little jealousy rising in him. “He hasn't yet I just stole a demo copy from his studio.” Kevin says smiling back at the other backstreet members.

“Why are you guys sitting so far apart, not touching and stuff.” Tim asks as they drive down the road. Kevin undoes his seatbelt and reaches to the back and puts their hands on each other. “That's better.” He says smiling at the shocked couple. “How did you know?” AJ asks. “I can't reveal my sources.” Kevin says putting his seatbelt back on. “You're o.k with it?” Brian asks nervously. “If I said no would it make any difference?” Kevin ask. “Yes.” Aj says looking at Kevin. “Stop messing with them Kev before I tell your dirty little secret.” Tim says shoving his baby brother. “I don't have a dirty little secret.” Kev says shooting Tim a look. “Yeah right, then explain to me why is it when a certain blonde walks into the room you forget to breathe.” Tim says looking at his brother.

“It's not that I forget to breathe.” Kevin counters. “We all have addictions and I'm dealing with mine.” Kevin says. “Bullshit Kevin, you're not dealing!” Tim says. “Look he broke it off with me ok, you're right if I had it my way we'd still be together.” Kevin says. “Does Kris know?” Tim asks. “Why do you think she agreed to let him stay with us for a little while?” Kevin says. Aj and Brian are sitting in the backseat mouths gapping. “How long?” Brian asked “Since he turned 19.” Kevin says looking back at his cousin. “That's why he was so understanding when I told him how I felt about Alex.” Brian says. Kevin nods. “So it safe to say we are all gay.” Aj says. “I'm bisexual thank you there's a difference.” Kevin says. “You're splitting hairs Kevin.” Tim says. “No he 's right there is a difference, he likes both , me I only want men but women can be substituted in a tight spot.” Aj says. “Do I have to worry about you hurting my cousin?” Tim asks looking back a Aj. “No, you don't I've waited to damn long to be with him to screw it up now.” Aj says squeezing Brian's hand.

They arrive at the airport. Kevin and Tim help them get inside. Kevin hugs his cousin and then turns to hug Aj. “ This is your only chance , make it count.” He says before letting his friend go. Aj nods and goes over to check in. They arrive home and there's a message on the machine for Brian to call his lawyer as soon as he got in.

Brian calls his lawyer and ask him to bring over the papers for his approval at his earliest convenience. The lawyer comes over later that night with the papers. Aj leaves to give them some privacy. He goes over to Howie's, as usual he lets himself in. He hears the sound of love making and decides to watch a little tv until they come downstairs. A couple of hours later Viggo comes downstairs naked going to the kitchen. “Hi.” Aj says from his spot on the couch. “AHH, shit! What are you doing here?!' Viggo asks covers himself with his hands. Howie comes downstairs in a robe carrying one for Viggo. “I was trying to give Bri some privacy with his lawyer and didn't know where else to go.” Aj explained. Viggo takes the robe from Howie. “You should have called Aje at least that way Viggo would have put some clothes on.” Howie says. “Are you mad at me Viggo?” Aj asks. “I don't know, I'm not use to be in a relationship with someone who has some many people in their life” Viggo says. “I guess I should have warned you about that.” Howie says. “Yeah when you date one Backstreet Boy you date all of us.” Aj says. “I don't have to sleep with all of you do I?, I can barely handle this one.” Viggo says. “Nope sorry we're all taken.” Aj says . “Taken what do you mean?” Howie asks sitting next to his best friend on the couch. “I told him and he feels the same way.” Aj gushed. “That's great.” Viggo says smiling at the young man. “You're hung like a damn horse. I mean I though Kev was hung but damn I think you've got him beat by at least an inch.” Aj says to Viggo. “ Alex!” Howie says blushing. “What it's the truth although Kev's thicker than him, still that must hurt like a bitch.” Aj states. “How do you know how big Kevin is?” Viggo asks. “We're a group we've changed clothes in front of each other a million times. Not to mention all the comparing we've done.” Aj says smiling. “Do I want to know?” Viggo ask Howie. “No you don't.” Howie responses. The three friends are watching a movie when Brian burst through the door in tears.

Chapter 12 Family

Aj runs over to Brian. “Baby what's wrong?” he asks holding the man close to him. “She signed the papers and put a rush on it.” Brian says through tears. Howie moves to comfort his long time friend. “What about Baylee did she ask for custody?” Howie asks. “NO! She doesn't want anything else to do with me or Baylee.” Brian says completely breaking down. “It sounds like a good thing to me.” Viggo says walking over to the friends. “I've been where you are Brian, I know it hurts but you don't have to go through this alone like I did.” Viggo says placing his hand on Brian's shoulder. “ I was faithful to her I gave her everything she ever asked for! She turns around and shoves it all back in my face like it meant nothing to her!” Brian says now more angry then sad. “That bitch how dare she set you free so that you can love the one who will love you eternally.” Viggo says with a smile. “I guess you're right.” Brian says looking at Aj. “So you don't hate me for loving Alex?” Brian asks Howie. “Of course not, I want both of you to be happy just like I want Kev and Nicky...oops.” Howie says covering his mouth. “Its ok we already know.” Aj assures his friend. “Oh thank god I didn't want to be like you.” Howie says with a wink. “How am I going to explain all this to Baylee?” Brian ask looking at the three men standing around him. “Tell Baylee the truth, if you lie to him it'll make it harder on him.” Viggo says. “What do I tell him about me and Alex.” Brian ask pulling away from Aj slightly. “Again the truth is the only way to go.” Howie says slipping his hand into Viggo's. Viggo pulls away from Howie and goes in the kitchen. He comes back out with a bottle of Apple juice and four glasses. “Let's have a toast to Brian's new found freedom and to his and Aj's love may it burn brightly forever.” Viggo say handing each of them a glass of apple juice. “It's the closes thing we have to Champagne.” Viggo says smiling. The friends toast and settle in to watch a movie before Brian and Aj finally head home.

A couple of days later Kevin brings Baylee home. Baylee tries to push the door open to no avail. “Its locked?” He ask Kevin. Kevin opens the door for Baylee. “Daddy!” Baylee calls out. “Baylee is that you?” Brian asks from the kitchen. He comes out and Baylee runs into his arms. “I missed you so much baby.” Brian gushed as he hugged his son tightly. “Daddy, I maked you a picture for the fridge.” Baylee says going over to his backpack. He held up a drawing of him, Brian and Aj. Across the top it said “My Family”. “I love it Bay let's go put it on the fridge right now.” Brian says carrying the little boy it the kitchen. “Baylee I need to talk to you about some very important stuff ok?” Brian says as he places the picture on the fridge. “Is it about moving away from uncle Aj cause I don't wanna.” Baylee says sadly. “No, baby we're not moving we're going to stay with uncle Aj for a long time, I hope.” Brian says. I'm gonna go swimming while you guys talk ok?” Aj says going upstairs to change. Brian takes Baylee into living room. “Baylee do you know why we're staying with uncle Aj?” Brian asks. “Cause, Chris don't like me.” Baylee says looking down at his feet. “I try to be good daddy and I don't touch the white powder like she said.” Baylee says tears rolling down his cheeks. “Oh god Baylee I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. You don't have to worry about seeing Chris or that white powder ever again ok.” Brian said holding his son tightly. “Daddy?” Baylee asks. “Yes, sweetheart.” “Do you love uncle Aj like uncle Howie loves uncle Viggo?” Baylee asks looking up at his father. “What do you mean?” Brian asked wanting to know how much Baylee knew before he answered. “They hug and kiss and stuff like that.” Baylee says starting to play with his shoestrings. “Don't tell them I saw them kissing I was suppose to sleeping.” Baylee tells his dad. “How did it make you feel when you saw them kissing?” Brian ask. “Happy cause I know you kiss people with your mouth open when you really love them and you know they don't have cooties or germs, Uncle Howie and Uncle Viggo are happy and I want you and uncle Aj to be happy like them.” Baylee explains. “Yes I love uncle Aj like uncle Howie loves uncle Viggo.” Brian says smiling at his son. “I won't tell mommy cause she said it's wrong and that uncle Howie is going to the devil.” Baylee says. “Baylee, your mom doesn't want to be your mommy anymore ok so she won't be around anymore.” Brian said hoping his son understood. “YAY!” Baylee said before hoping off the couch and running outside to the pool where Aj was laying on a float. “Come get me!” Baylee calls out to Aj. “Go tell daddy to change you into your swim trunks first then I'll come get you.” Aj calls. Baylee turns and does as he's told. Brian changes his clothes as well and picks Baylee up and runs and jumps in the pool holding on to his son tightly. They play in the pool for a while. Baylee gets out of the pool to go pee cause it's not nice to pee in the pool, when he comes back out he looks at his daddy and uncle AJ and sees how happy his daddy is. This is what a family is supposed to look like Baylee thought to himself. He calls for someone to come get him from the edge of the pool and smiles brightly when they start to race to get to him first. The child giggled as they play fought over him ending with a kiss on each cheek from both of them.