"You look... good." I replied.

Which wasn't really true. It was just more of an energy-booster, trying to make her feel good. I've never seen her without makeup or her hair done.

She smiled, "Thanks. So do you, Aje."

"Where is," I tried to say until a nurse came barging in the door.

"Hiya Mom! It's diaper-changing time!" said the chirpy nurse, "And who is this?"

I grunted, I hated when people acted like they weren't in the room.

"I'm the father," I answered the question for Claire.

The nurse, wearing bright pink scrubs, looked over at Claire for reassurance. Claire nodded and smiled.

"Your daughter would love for you to hold her," the nurse smiled and held out the baby to me.

I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't know what to do, to be honest -- I didn't really wanna hold her. I was too afraid I would drop her, or she'd cry and wouldn't like me. But the nurse was practically shoving her in my face, so I gripped onto her as best as I could. And that's when my life changed forever.

People always say how you get a brand new feeling inside of you when you become a parent, I didn't believe it until this very instant. No matter how horrible she smelled, or looked... you would always love them. I loved my daughter from the first time I layed eyes on her right then.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead as softly as I could. I was terrified I would hurt her. But she seemed comforted by me, and that was an amazing feeling.

I was interuppted in my thoughts by Claire, "So, what do you want to do?"

I was confused, "What do you mean?"

"I can't take care of her, AJ. I thought we went over this," a tear came pouring down her face, "I can't look at her or else I can't do it. I will never give her up. I don't have the income, or the time or patience. I'm not ready to be a parent. You can't take her, your on the road for months at a time..."

"How can you get rid of our child?" I was shocked she would even bring up the idea, "I mean, look at her."

"I'm not ready. She deserves better."

I was completely stunned. I didn't really know Claire very well, but I was surprised she would even do this. Me and her, we were a one night fling. She happened to get pregnant, and didn't tell me until she was 7 months along. Here I was grasping this baby, who was only a tiny bit bigger than my hand, in my arms as she nuzzled her face into my shirt. How in God's name could I ever give her up?

"I will take her."

"Huh?" Claire stopped in mid-sentence.

"I said, she's mine then. I'll take her. She's my daughter, I'm not giving her up," I stated plainly.

"AJ, how can you? How can- how can you possibly raise a child? Your still a kid yourself. You realize you can never party again, you always have to get babysitters when you leave, your on the road 24/7 and recording. Your life will be gone!"

"No! It won't! She will be my life... come on, Claire. I can do this... I know I can. I just... I can't give her up. She came from me and you. I helped make her... do you know how amazing that is? Holy shit, I mean... woah."

Claire was crying harder, "Don't you think I know that? I will never forget her, until I die. I'm not at a time in my life where I can do this right now. You know what, okay. I can't do anything about it, so she's in your custody. You fill out all the custody papers. I leave this hospital tomorrow, and I won't see you guys again."

She was now bawling. And I couldn't understand how she could be so upset and love her yet leave her and abandon her. Of course, she wasn't abandoned though because I was with her. Her daddy was here for her. I smiled, her daddy.

"Does she, uhm, have a name?"

Claire sighed, "I couldn't think of a good one. It was between Addison and Adelynn for me."

"I like Adelynn," I smiled. That way she could be called Addy or Lynn, which ever she preferred.

"Then she's little Adelynn," Claire responded sternly but then she replied, "Adelynn Alexis is pretty. And Alexis has part of your name in it."

I liked it, alot.

"Adelynn Alexis McLean."

For a while, I sat there staring at her. I was thinking, what the hell am I gonna do? I never thought I would be raising a child by myself. I always thought it wouldn't be like this... I had always had this whole dream in my mind where eventually in my 30's, I would settle down, get married and have kids. I never thought I'd meet a woman in a bar, take her home and get her pregnant and be stuck with the outcome.

Right now though, I was enjoying it with my life. Having this little piece of me. I had just brought her home from the hospital this morning, and I realized how hard this was gonna be. I didn't really know how I was going to do this, but I had to have hope.

I heard the front door start to open and looked to see Nick. I stood up, holding Adelynn in my arms. She was so tiny. 7 pounds, 2 ounces, it still amazed me. Nick saw me and looked shocked.

"Dude, what are you doing? You babysitting for someone?" Nick asked.

"Nick, I wanna introduce you to my daughter...," I told him.

I had told all the guys that Claire was pregnant, but everybody thought she was getting an abortion. They never knew how far along she was, because I didn't tell them.

"Huh?" Nick was so confused.

"Adelynn, this is your Uncle Nicky," I pointed to Nick and whispered to Adelynn, "Call him Nicky, he hates it."

"Shut up, man!" Nick shouted, "This is your daughter? I thought... I mean, I thought she was getting a, you know."

"Well, she was gonna give her up for adoption. I saw her and couldn't imagine not seeing her again... it was the most amazing thing. It was...," I was starting to ramble but I didn't care. I know Nick didn't know or understand what I was talking about but it was okay.

"Claire's not going to be in the picture, Nick. She doesn't want to be. Addy's all mine," I replied, proudly.

"Are you serious? Wow. Congrats, man. That's awesome. Do the other guys know?"

"Not yet. I'm keeping her pretty secret right now. She doesn't need to be exposed to the business yet... so young."

Adelynn started squirming in my arm, and all the sudden her mouth opened and she started wailing. I was completely clueless. She was probably hungry, right?

"Nick, do me a favor... take her," I handed her over to Nick.

"I don't know what to do!" Nick screetched as I ran into the kitchen to try and heat up a bottle. The nurse had explained it to me a little bit, but I didn't know it would be this hard.

I picked up the bottle of formula and read the side package. Adelynn's screaming could still be heard from the next room. I poured some of the formula into the bottle and stuck it in the microwave for 30 seconds. I didn't know if that was long enough, or too long for that matter but as long as it would make her shut up. I grabbed the bottle and ran back out and handed Nick the bottle.

"You expect ME to do this? Yeah right... you take her," Nick handed her back to me.

I rolled my eyes. He could be such a baby.

"Your worse than Addy," I took her back into my arms and held the bottle up to her mouth.

She started to drink it and I smiled. I had been doing a lot of that lately, she was just too cute. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Nick was staring at me.

"What?"

Nick grinned, "That's kinda cute, J. She's so tiny... your really gonna do this."

"I can do it," I replied, kind of offended that he thought I couldn't.

"I know. It's just kinda weird, you know? But a cool weird, I guess."

I just smiled, "Yeah. It is weird."

It was weird but it was so amazing. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was going to. I could always bring a baby on the road with me, right? I'm not gonna quit my job - my life, for her. I could work around it, couldn't I?

I stared at all the fans wanting to meet me and screaming my name. I just couldn't get myself to come off the tourbus, not with Adelynn fast asleep in the back. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss a second. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You comin' out there with me, man?" Kevin asked, "It's calmed down a little, they're wanting to meet us."

"Nah, man. I did it last night... what if Addy wakes up?"

Kevin just smiled, "Alright."

I was always the one who was out there for a long time talking to the fans... but this time I had to make sure Adelynn was going to be okay. It was a scary thing, you know? She was so tiny and fragile, you never know if something could happen to her. We had celebrated her one month birthday yesturday. Me and the other guys got a birthday cake, which was for us since she can't even eat it yet, and we all sang to her. We got a tiny smile out of her, like she knew what was going on.

I heard her noises that she always made coming from the back of the bus. I went and layed on the queen size bed as gently as I could, and put my hand to her body.

"Alex, I'm so proud of you."

I turned around and smiled, "Thanks, mom. I'm really glad you came with me to watch over Addy and all."

"Honey, you know it's no problem spending time with my granddaughter."

I looked at Adelynn once more, before leaning over to pick her up. I placed her on my shoulder, and started to pat her back. A tiny burp came out of her and I just laughed, "You can do better than that, baby!"

I patted her back a little harder and a big one came out. I noticed my mom just staring at me, with a big smile on her face. Now I knew why she had cared so much about me all these years. I had always wanted her to just lay off, and give me space but now I knew.

Kevin came back onto the bus, "Man, they want you."

I just laughed, "Alright... you stay here with my mom and watch Adelynn, okay? I'll be quick."

I picked up a hoodie and threw it on overtop of my t-shirt. Right when I walked out, I heard screams and saw about 50 girls crowding the baricade. I was finally grasping that we were back... the five of us were together on the road again. I waved and made a goofy face, I knew they always got a kick out of that.

The first girl I went up to asked for a picture and I posed for one with her.

"How's your daughter, AJ?! Congratulations!" I heard a couple of girls scream.

"She's good, she's doing great. One month old now, I can't believe it."

The girl standing right in front of me asked if she could see Adelynn. I was trying to be nice about it, but I didn't want them seeing her. I wanted her as safe as possible. It was a scary world out there.

"Maybe a different time... it's a little too cold for her."

The fans all "awwed" and sighed, but they would get to see her a different time. There was no way in hell she was being exposed to this at such a young age. She was going to be normal.

I signed a couple more and I took a couple pictures with different people, but told them that I had to go. I was nearly jogging back to the bus.

I went into the bus and all I could hear was screaming coming from Adelynn. I ran to the back, "What's wrong?!"

"Aje, she's fine, man," I heard Kevin say, "Just a little hungry."

I took a breath, thank God. I thought she had gotten hurt, if she would've gotten hurt, I would've...

"Alex, here you go," my mom handed me the bottle and I took it from her. I picked up Adelynn from Kevin's arms as carefully as possible and put the bottle to her mouth. She was defintely hungry.

I felt blessed to have a baby who rarely cryed, only when she was hungry or really needed something. It was great on me, because I couldn't stand to hear that noise. Yet it still was a good noise, because it let me know everything was okay.

I stared at her while she drank her bottle and thought how hard this was, doing this alone. It was really stressing me out, I just didn't let it show. Even though it was stressful, it was cool. I felt superior to everyone else because I was doing it alone as a single father. I even felt more wholesome than Brian at times, and that has never happened.

Then I would have those days where I would feel awful... like, what would I say to her when she's old enough to see other kids have mommys? What if she starts to hate me? I hated my dad. But, no, I wasn't going to be like that. That's one of the reasons I couldn't give her up, I never wanted to be like the man I despied so much.

Brian then came onto the bus, all smiles.

"Howie and Nick told me to tell you to hurry up, they're leaving."

I had totally forgot.

"Oh, shit. Can you go out and tell them I'm not going?"

Brian looked shocked, "Your not?"

"You gonna be babysitting?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Well, no," Brian laughed, "But I thought that's why your mom was... oh well, nevermind. I'll go tell them."

Brian walked off of the bus again and my mom looked at me.

"Hon, you can go out if you want. I can watch over her."

I just shook my head, "Nah, mom. I'm not doing that to you... anyways, I'm gonna do the right thing for once in my life."

My mom just nodded her head and smiled, "Your doing a good job, really."

I took the bottle out of Adelynn's mouth, I could tell she was done. She almost looked tired again. Usually right after she ate she would fall asleep for another ten minutes or so. I let her nuzzle into my muscular chest and let her fall back asleep.

Brian came back on the bus and put his hand on my shoulder, "Welcome to the grown-up club, man. You’re now hanging with me and Kevin."

I just shook my head and laughed, "You mean the boring club, don't you?"

Brian and Kevin looked at each other and chuckled, "Yep."

Brian changed into his sweatpants and made himself comfortable on one bunk, and I decided to just sit down at the table and keep holding Adelynn. If I put her down, I knew she would start crying. My mom had already fallen asleep on the bed in the back and Kevin was sitting on the sofa watching TV.

"Brian?" I asked, but in my softest voice.

"Yeah?"

"Now I know why you don't bring Baylee on the road."

Brian laughed, "Yeah, definitely, its hard work."

"And I also understand why you, you know, always complain about missing your family so much," I shrugged, I wasn't going to admit that to him but there it went.

Brian just nodded, "It's tough. I'm happy for you, AJ. You deserve this."

Kevin added in, "You really do, man."

"Thanks," was all I could reply.

Screaming. It was all I heard... ringing through my ears. I didn't know what to do with her, she wouldn't stop. I tried everything and nothing worked. I was getting pissed off now. She had everything she needed, what the hell was she screaming for?

I grabbed the phone and dialed Brian's number.

"Hello?"

"You've dealt with this before... what the fuck do I do with a screaming baby?" I asked.

"Is she hungry or something?"

"I've tried. I've tried everything."

"Does she have a stomachache?"

I rolled my eyes, "I dunno, Bri, lemme ask her."

I sighed. I hadn't meant to sound like a dick.

"Sorry. She's just been crying in my ear for an hour, and I don't know what to do."

"Try giving her a bath, yet?" Brian shrugged.

"Well, no... but she hates bathes."

"Just try it. Sometimes that would work for Baylee, it calms them down."

"Alright... I'll call you back and yell if it doesn't."

Brian just laughed. We hung up the phone and I picked up my screaming daughter.

Once we got upstairs, I layed her on her back on a blanket on the floor, so I could turn on the sink water and get the bath ready. She was still crying and my ears were ringing.

I quickly felt the temperature with my finger to make sure it wasn't too warm, and I looked at my screaming baby on the floor. I just shook my head and smiled.

"Your something, you know that... you got nothing to be crying about and yet you still do."

I laughed to myself and bent down to pick her up. When I lifted her into my arms, she quieted down a little bit. I rubbed the back of her head softly, "Shhhhhh."

I took off her little outfit that she had one and then managed to slip off her diaper. I placed her as softly as I could into the baby bath tub and let her soak for a while.

Maybe Brian was right afterall. She had calmed down. Finally.

"That's right, baby... shhh...," I whispered to her, and I started to scrub her body and get her clean.

She was constantly figeting, which was a pain in the ass to try and clean her but it was worth it to get that sound of my head.

She made one last cry before she finally started to shut her eyes. I smiled. It sounded like heaven had just broke though. I finished cleaning her up, and then as carefully as possible, I picked up her wet little self and leaned her on the towel that was draped over my shoulder.

She yawned and her eyes closed once again. Once I had gotten her into her room, she was pretty much asleep. But I had to get her dressed into her pajamas before she totally fell asleep. I put some powder over her entire body, and then slid the pajamas over her diaper. Then I layed her into her crib, where she fell right back asleep.

Once I had tip-toed down the stairs, I pretty much plopped down on the couch. My whole body felt numb. My legs hurt, my head hurt, my arms hurt, my eyes were itchy, I really should go to bed. I attempted to stand up, walk upstairs, and walk all the way down the hall to my room. But I zonked, right then and there.

I grunted as I hauled, what seemed, 300 pounds of baby stuff. I held the playpin, which was all folded up in a bag on my right arm, and on my other arm held Adelynn, who was in her carseat. Shoved in between my arms, was the diaper bag and a bag full of toys, food, and such for a two-night stay at grandma's house.

Me and the guys had to go to New York City, to do a TRL appearance for our new video. Then we had to go off and do a few press conferences about the new album. I had never been away from Adelynn for more than a few hours, and I was really worried.

I, firstoff, placed the carseat into the buckle. Then I shoved the bags full of stuff into the trunk.

"Woo," I sighed, as I slammed the trunk door shut.

I ran back onto the front porch, and grabbed my own bags for a couple days in New York. Then I stuck them next to me in the passenger seat. It was way too early, the sun hadn't even risen yet. Finally, I made my way to the drivers seat to drive to my mom's house.

Once we got there, she seemed to instinctively know what exact time we would be there because she was standing on the front porch waiting for us. She smiled and waved when we pulled into her driveway. I smiled back at her.

She noticed all the stuff I had piled up, "Honey, you overpacked. Let me help you."

"I got it, mom."

I unbuckled the carseat and carried it into the house, then set her down gently on the floor. She'd be fine for a couple of minutes.

I saw my mom trying to carry the playpin in, but I went over and grabbed it from her hands, "Mom, you can't carry that stuff. Lemme do it."

She shook her head, "Just because I'm old doesn't mean anything."

I laughed, "I never said you were old! Your a hot mama!" I joked, and winked at her.

She just chuckled, "Keep dreaming, Alex. I'm putting on a lot of weight here... I'm not no hot mama."

"Ah, mom, shut up. You look great. And thanks for taking Adelynn for me... you know, I'm gonna call like every 5 minutes. And you better answer the damn phone. I'm gonna be worried."

"Honey, I promise you, she's in good hands."

"I know she is. I just, have never been away from her for more than a couple hours. You know how big of a worrywart I am."

She smiled, "You were never a worrywart until your daughter was born. But that's a good thing. It's healthy to worry about your kids. If you don't, there's something wrong."

"I guess so."

She stood on her tip-toes to give me a big hug, and I wrapped my arms around her back.

"Love you, mama. I better get moving... I got a flight to catch."

"Okay, honey."

I sighed a little bit, and walked up the porch stairs and saw Adelynn fast asleep in her car seat. I just stared at her for a few moments, before leaning down to softly kiss her head.

"Your daddy misses you already, baby. Be good for grandma," I whispered, before kissing her one more time.

Before I knew it, I was on the road heading to the airport. As I traveled down the roads, I got a chance to get my head together. This was hard. But Adelynn was the best thing that ever happened to me. And she always will be. I couldn't understand Claire's brain and how she could give up her own child? Someone that came out of her?

I shook the thoughts from my head. Good. Claire can miss out on everything. I get to be the one who fixes her first scratched knee, and watches her go on the school bus to kindergarten, and comforts her when she's crying. Me. Nobody else. Call me selfish, but I loved it.

"What the fuck is this?!" I screamed out in anger, as I held the magazine close to my face.

Nick came running out of the bathroom, "What? What happened?!"

I just sighed and threw the paper down on the table, then pounded my fist over top of it, "This happened."

Nick picked up the magazine and opened it to the page I had been looking at. He quickly skimmed the article, and just looked at me. He didn't really know what to say.

"I should've known this was going to happen, I don't know why I'm so pissed," I threw my arms up in question.

Nick just shrugged, "I know how you feel, man. Believe me."

I couldn't help but laugh. Nick did have a lot of bad shit posted about him in The Enquier, especially when he was dating that no-good bitch. Paris Hilton. I laughed remembering the time they were together.

My eyes went back to the article and I just shook my head, looking at the paparazzi photo taken of me carrying Adelynn into my mom's house. How do they even find this stuff out? And how do they get it posted so quick? It was just yesturday, for Christ's sake.

I couldn't believe it. My daughter was already in the tabloids. My new born daughter. I didn't want this! This was what I was trying to protect her from.

"Atleast it's not... bad, you know?" Nick looked at me.

"I guess so," I shrugged, "But, I don't want it happening anymore."

"There's no way to stop it, dude."

I looked at Nick, not wanting to believe him. I knew he was right. I wasn't an idiot, I had been in the business long enough to know these things happen.

"I know what I need to do...," I sighed.

Nick just looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"I think the next photoshoot we do, I need to bring her. I think we should just... show her to everybody. Let them get their pictures, and that's it."

"We?" Nick's eyebrows raised, "You need to decide that."

I sighed, "I know."

"My opinion... you should. The pictures would turn out good, and it would show people you really are a good dad. 'Cause you are, you know."

"I could be a way better father to her."

"Your doing fine, bro."

I nodded in response to Nick's question, thank God he felt the same way, because I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job. I just didn't want to sound conceited, you know.

"Well, I'm gonna try to get a nap in before the press conference," Nick said, "So I'm heading down to my hotel room. You should sleep, too, you know. You look tired."

"I am," I replied, "Maybe I will try to sleep."

Nick headed out the door, and he closed it quietly shut. I sighed and made my way to the bed. I opened my arms open wide, and just fell into the bed. I smiled to myself, and I don't know why. I took off my shirt, trying to get comfortable.

My eyes wouldn't close. I kept thinking about everything. Claire... why did she always enter my mind? It's not like we had anything special, right? I mean, we talked maybe a total of 7 times. And she was the mother of my child, it was just weird.

I pushed my bedcovers aside, and slid out of bed. I had to check on Adelynn. I wonder if she was being good for my mom.

I was shirtless and Adelynn was in nothing but a diaper. I brought her back down into my arms to calm her down from laughing so hard. The flashes
finally stopped going off, and I looked at the photographer.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"They're gonna be very good pictures. I have to tell you, you and your daughter are cute together.
You didn't even realize I was in the room."

I just laughed, "Sorry."

"No! Don't be sorry! It's a good thing... the pictures are going to turn out great, I know it."

I shrugged, "Well, that's a good thing."

My eyes turned towards the other side of the room where the other guys were waiting. I felt bad, like I was hogging the spotlight or something. But
it needed to be done. I needed to show the fans and press Adelynn. And we hadn't had any professional pictures
anyways, and my mom loved those type of things to hang on her wall.

Kevin came over, and patted my shoulder, "They're gonna be good pictures, I think."

I nodded, and reached over to pick up my shirt, which was laying on the ground. I slid the t-shirt on
over my head.

"My mom'll like 'em," I replied.

"Alright... all 5 of the guys! Come over here!"

I could hear the photographer shouting through the warehouse.

After three hours of photo-taking, all of the Boys finally started to head out.

"Ajjjjeee?!" I heard someone yelling my name, trying to get my attention.

I turned around, it was Nick, waving frantically. He was such a nut, he always made a big scene
about nothing, I laughed to myself.

"What?" I shrugged, holding Adelynn in my arms.

Nick was now out of breath, from running after me. He took a deep breath
and then continued, "Me and the fellas are goin' out to get something
to eat. We want you there too."

I just nodded, "Okay. It's cool though, if I bring Addy, right?"

"Oh yeah, totally. We're just getting some quick lunch somewhere simple."

So, I ended up turning back around. Adelynn was non-stop fidgeting, and she was constantly
moving her arms around. Which, then, ended up always hitting me in the face. She found it funny,
and thought it was a joke. I couldn't help but laugh, no matter how many scratches I ended up
with on my face.

I saw Brian walk over to me and he just smiled, "Your little girl's beating you up already?"

"Yeah," I chuckled, slighty moving her hand away, "Already."

Brian reached over and started to tickle her stomach, "Aww.. your a cute little one. Yes you are!"
He kept talking in baby talk, and Adelynn was giggling.

"Bri, you look really funny," I stated plainly, and I was about to start cracking up at the faces he was making.

"Come on, dude!" I heard Nick yell from across the room, and he waved motioning for us to follow.

So, we did. And we headed out to go get lunch.