Chapter 17- Downpour

Nick stood there paralyzed for a moment more before fumbling with an explanation to Alyssa’s question. "I told you I come here from time to time when I need to be alone," he calmly explained to her, trying not to make it completely obvious that he was staring. He couldn’t help, but notice her obvious discomfort by the way her arms were protectively crossed over her chest, her wet clothes held up to shield her half naked body. Trying to make light of the situation, he cracked a smile. "You don't have to be embarrassed. It's not like I've never seen you naked before."

Alyssa blushed a little bit, but relaxed her arms. “I guess you have a point there. If you really want to be alone I could just go,” she offered.

"Not on your life, with this kind of weather," he insisted, grabbing her by the arm. "Come on let's see if I can get you some dry clothes and we can stick these in the dryer for the time being."

Alyssa had no choice, but to agree as she followed him deeper into the condo. She definitely hadn't anticipated running into Nick here tonight. It was definitely more than a little awkward, especially because since the last time they’d been around each other had resulted in a very heated make out session and the last time they had talked, she’d pretty much told him that they probably shouldn’t hang out anymore for that very reason. As weird as the situation was, she’d just have to suck it up and deal with it. Nick was right. The roads were bad and she was upset. It was better if she stayed in one place for now until the weather at least calmed down.

“I’m actually staying here for a few days,” his voice interrupted her thoughts. “Long story, I’ll fill you in later, but point is that I have extra clothes on me. So, I’ll just give you a t-shirt or something to hang out in for now and there should be clean towels in the bathroom if you want to dry off a little. Once you’re all settled we can throw your wet clothes in the dryer.”

“Sounds good to me,” Alyssa agreed as Nick went into his suitcase, pulled out a green t-shirt, and handed it to her. She smirked as she saw the picture of a fork and a spoon on the front and the words, Spooning Leads to Forking across the top. “Nice shirt.”

Nick grinned. “I though you might like it. You remember where the bathroom is right?”

Alyssa nodded and headed down the hallway towards the bathroom door. She could already feel goose bumps beginning to form on her arms and legs. She quickly located a fluffy white bath towel and wrapped herself in it for warmth. She gazed at the shower curtain for a moment, contemplating taking a hot shower to warm herself up, but laziness got the better of her. Instead she changed into Nick’s shirt, not being able to help the fact that she was very aware of his scent that lingered onto the material. Once she was done she picked up her damp clothing and left the bathroom, heading for the washer and dryer that she remembered being off of the garage. She tossed her clothes in the dryer and turned it on, before heading back into the living room.

She entered the living room just in time to see Nick coming out of the kitchen gripping a bottle of wine and two paper cups. “I just remembered that we have a few bottles of wine lying around here from the first night we spent in this place. Don’t have any wine glasses though, so paper cups will have to do.”
“Wine in paper cups?” Alyssa giggled. “That’s classy.” She wrinkled her nose. “These bottles of wine have to have been sitting here for over three years now.”

“So?” Nick shrugged. “Wine doesn’t go bad. In fact, it gets better with age, just like me.”

Alyssa couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay if you say so, but I think that’s probably still up for debate.”

Nick gasped pretending to be hurt. “That was pretty mean Alyssa. I’m shocked!”

“Yea, you’ll get over it.” She plopped herself down on the couch and waited for Nick to join her. She watched as he made himself comfortable and poured her a glass of wine. “Thanks,” she told him, taking the cup from his hand. “I could use a drink right about now.”

“You and me both,” he agreed, already taking a sip from his wine. “Looks like we’ve both had a pretty rough day.”

Alyssa just nodded, curling her legs underneath her. “You could say that. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? Did you and Shayla have a fight?”

Nick just snorted in response. “Oh, we had a fight all right.” He paused for a moment as if he was unsure of how to break the news to her. “I guess I should be up front with you now because pretty soon the truth is just going to come out anyway. I’m divorcing Shayla.”

The room was so quiet after those three words that Nick swore he could hear a pin drop. Alyssa looked shocked and surprised at his admission. “You’re what? You’re getting a divorce?” She sat back against the back of the couch appearing stunned. She remembered a time when she had almost prayed for this day back before she and Sean had gotten married. Now that it had come though, Alyssa felt anything but triumphant. Alyssa knew how his parents divorce had affected him, so for him to follow down the same path after only two years of marriage something major must’ve happened. “If you don’t mind me asking, why? Why now? You have a child on the way! This is absolutely the worst time to get a divorce.”

Nick was shocked by her reaction; it wasn’t at all how he had expected her to take the news. She seemed almost angry at him. But then again, he could almost see why. She didn’t know what Shayla had done and she was coming from the perspective of someone who would give almost anything to switch places with him and Shayla. So, considering that she had strong personal feelings on the matter, being a woman who was desperately trying to become pregnant, Nick could understand her outrage that his decision to seek a divorce now of all times when his wife would need him the most. He definitely needed to back up and explain everything to her. “There is no baby,” he slowly admitted.

Now Alyssa looked confused. “No baby? What do you mean no baby? You told me yourself that she was pregnant.”

He took in a deep breath. “She made up the whole thing. She was never really pregnant after all. She only did it to try to trap me into accepting the fatherhood role. That way she could conveniently miscarry and easily persuade me into trying for the real thing.”

“Oh my God…” Alyssa covered her open mouth in shock. “That’s just crazy… Not to be mean, but what a bitch! Who does that outside of desperate women on soap operas?”

“My point exactly. I mean she knew what a big deal it was for me to finally agree to take this pregnancy thing seriously. I was actually almost beginning to look forward to us having a baby,” he confessed. “Crazy, huh?”

Alyssa patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Not at all, Nick! I know how huge of a step that was for you and it really shows how much you’ve changed that you were willing to take on that kind of responsibility even though it wasn’t entirely what you wanted. She’s really a bitch for putting you through all that. If she loved you, she wouldn’t have to manipulate you and play games like that to get you to prove that you love her too. How did you find all this out?”

“Well, at first I really didn’t want anything to do with the whole thing because I originally thought she’d gotten pregnant on purpose just to spite me. Kind of ironic how backwards I had it. Anyway, finally I confided in Brian and he made me realize that even if Shayla had purposely gotten pregnant, it would be unfair to let an innocent child suffer as a result. So, I decided that I should suck it up and accept the fact that I was about to be a father for the baby’s sake. I planned on surprising Shayla by meeting up with her at her doctor’s appointment, but when I got to the office there was no record of her having any sort of appointment recently, which I thought was strange. I didn’t get too concerned though, and I made plans to meet up with Chris for lunch. When I got to the restaurant I found Shayla there with a group of friends. They’d been out shopping all afternoon while she was supposed to be at the doctor and she was drinking a Cosmo.”

“Ouch…” she winced, feeling his pain. “So you pretty much caught her red handed.”

Nick nodded. “I pulled her outside and got her to admit the truth. We had a pretty bad argument which ended in me telling her to expect to be served with divorce papers. So, yea… I figured I’d hide out here for a few days at least. I kind of don’t feel much like facing any of my family or friends just yet.”

“Understandable.” She paused a moment before asking the question that was lingering in her mind. “So, you really are going through with the divorce thing?”

He thought about it for a few seconds before answering. “Yea, I think so. I mean I just can’t imagine staying married to someone who would blatantly lie to me like that. My trust in her is pretty much shattered at this point, and what’s the good in being in a relationship with someone that you can’t trust? It’s pointless.”

“I totally agree.” Alyssa knew firsthand from her prior relationship with Nick that one of the many reasons they had failed had been her lack of trust in him. She’d always been so worried that he’d cheat on her, that she supposed she’d made it pretty clear that she didn’t trust him. Otherwise those fears wouldn’t have been there. Because of all of that Nick had gone ahead and cheated anyway, putting faith into those fears. So, after that experience Alyssa had really began to realize just how important it was for both parties to trust each other in a relationship. “I’m so sorry Nick. I can’t believe that she’d do that to you.”

Nick brushed her apology off with a wave of his hand as he poured himself another cup of wine. “It’s okay. I’ll survive. I’m better off without her anyway.”

Alyssa was unsure of what more she should say at the moment, so she said nothing, focusing on the episode of Family Guy that was playing on the television in front of her. She finished off her wine in silence and then poured herself a second serving as well. Her mind tried to focus on the plot of the episode, but for once not even adult cartoon humor was enough to make her smile. Half the jokes that she would normally laugh out loud over seemed to fly completely over her head. Judging from Nick’s reaction next to her, he was feeling exactly the same.

When the show went to a commercial break, Nick finally broke the silence turning the conversation onto her. “So, now that you know what I’m dong here, what are you doing here?”

Alyssa blushed, feeling a little embarrassed. “It’s pretty stupid and petty compared to your story,” she began. “Sean and I had a fight obviously, but like I said it was really dumb. I just needed to get away from him for a while.”

Nick looked at her intently, but surprisingly didn’t really press the matter. Instead he just made an innocent remark. “You and Sean have been fighting a lot lately, haven’t you? What’s gong on with the two of you? I feel like you’re always only telling me half the story.”

She sighed realizing that he was right. She did tend to sugarcoat a lot of the details around him, and she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because of their prior relationship, she didn’t want him to think that she couldn’t ever be happy with anyone else. Whatever the reason, she’d only given him a small crack of light on what was really going on between her and Sean that day he’d come over with the pictures. All he really knew was that they were struggling to conceive a child before Sean left for Iraq and were having difficulties. He also knew that this was causing some friction between them, but he had no clue to exactly what degree. After the way he had opened up to her about him and Shayla, she supposed that she only owed it to him to do the same with her and Sean. Nick hadn’t exactly been one to share his personal problems with others, so Alyssa knew just how difficult that had been for him.

“Sean and I have been having our fair share of problems,” she slowly admitted. “I guess it’s just this baby thing is really getting to us, in more ways than one. The first few months weren’t so bad, but after a while it just started getting really frustrating when nothing was happening. We literally tried everything. Even all the crazy things that you think would never work. And still I wasn’t getting pregnant. We just couldn’t understand it. You know that we went to visit a fertility clinic last month?”

Nick shook his head. “No, we haven’t talked in a while, remember?”

“Well, we did,” she clued him in. “It was my idea. I was just so afraid that maybe something was wrong with me and I wouldn’t be able to have children that I just had to find out for sure. I mean even my doctor kept telling me that I was probably just overreacting, but something in my gut told me I needed to do this. Sean seemed pretty supportive of the idea. We had some tests run on us to see what the problem is, if anything. We’re supposed to be getting the results back next week. It’s really nerve wracking.”

“I bet it is. I know how important having kids is to you. I imagine that it must be hard on the both of you.”

“It is.” She paused for a moment already growing bolder and more comfortable sharing the details that she’d hid from most of her close friends for months now. She was finding it to be a bit of a relief to get it all off of her chest. “We actually had a false alarm like two weeks ago. I thought that I might have been pregnant and I got my hopes all up and then I took the test and it turned out negative.” Her face fell at the memory. “Afterwards I was a wreck. I had invested so much time in thinking that I was actually pregnant that it was really hard for me to accept the fact that I wasn’t. Since then Sean and I have sort of been avoiding each other. I told him that I wanted us to stop trying for the time being. It was just getting way too stressful on me and it started to become that trying to have a baby was taking over our entire relationship.”

“How so?” Nick asked curiously.

By this point in the conversation the wine she had been drinking was beginning to go to her head and although she was nowhere near drunk, she definitely was tipsy enough to speak about a topic as intimate as her and Sean’s sex life freely. “Well, it was starting to seem like whenever we had time alone it translated into ‘time to work on making a baby.’ It was getting to the point where our sex life was just entirely focused on this baby that hadn’t even been created yet. We entirely stopped making love. It was just very plain, boring, almost mechanical sex. My heart just wasn’t into it anymore.” She paused for a moment as it finally clicked in her mind that Nick probably wasn’t at all comfortable with her sharing such personal details between her and Sean. “I’m sorry… You probably didn’t need to hear all of that.”

Nick just laughed lightly. “It’s okay Alyssa. Not like I seriously think that you and Sean have a celibate relationship or anything. You are married after all and obviously this is bothering you. Besides, I find it entertaining to hear you talk so openly about sex for once.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and playfully smacked him on the arm, but continued anyway not even aware that she was beginning to slur some of her words. “The fight we had tonight was kind of about that. I told you we’d been avoiding each other since the pregnancy scare and then tonight he sits down next to me and was telling me about how much he missed me lately and how he wishes that we could go back to how we used to be. So, yea we start kissing and it’s finally beginning to feel like its about just the two of us again, and we’re both completely relaxed, there’s no pressure of whether or not this will be the time that we’ll conceive a child. Then just when things are about to happen he goes and brings it all up again! It’s like he can’t let go of the idea of trying for a baby and just let it happen naturally. I really can’t deal with that pressure, so I got up, got dressed, and left. And now I’m here.”

Nick stared at her a moment not at all sure how to react. He certainly hadn’t expected that kind of explanation from her. He really had no idea all of that was going in her and Sean’s marriage, but it began to make a lot of sense based on some of the things she’d said and done lately. That probably explained why she’d been so eager and receptive to his kisses at Kina’s dinner party. He swallowed hard as the implications of her fight with Sean and her arrival at the condo could lead to. He assumed she had to have some pretty strong pent up sexual frustration over the way things had been with Sean lately. And then there was the image of her arriving soaking wet to the condo and stripping off her clothes in the foyer, still fresh in his mind. Now here she was sitting next to him on the couch wearing his shirt and looking rather enticing in it. It would be completely wrong of him to take advantage of the situation. The Nick of a few years ago would’ve been all over her by now, but it just wouldn’t be right in this case.

“What?” Alyssa interrupted his thoughts. “Why are you staring at me like I have three heads or something?”

He shook his impure thoughts out of his head and grinned. “Nothing. Just find it amusing that you’re already tipsy.”

“I’m not tipsy!” she insisted. Nick raised her eyebrows at her until she finally gave in. “Okay… Maybe I am a little bit. But, wine always hits me pretty hard. Plus, the fact that you try not drinking for eight months and see what happens to you the first time you start drinking again.”

“You barely had two cups,” he pointed out with a laugh. “That’s pathetic.”

“Eight months Nick. Remember I haven’t drank in eight months.” She made an attempt to hold up eight fingers for emphasis, but instead accidentally held up nine.

Nick couldn’t help, but to roar with laughter at her pathetic attempt. “You should probably quit while you’re ahead,” he warned.

“Shut up!” Her foot darted out from underneath her to kick him, but Nick grabbed it before she could hit him. His eyes traveled down to her foot in his hand and he was surprised to find another tattoo, a vine of red roses with dark thorns attached. He ran his hands over the skin wondering to himself why he hadn’t noticed it before.

“When did you get this one?” he asked, changing the subject. “It must have hurt like a bitch.”

Alyssa was a bit surprised with his fascination with the tattoo on her foot, but answered his question. “Actually not all that long after I moved down to North Carolina after we broke up. It hurt so badly, but I kind of had a lot of emotional pain I was going through at the time, so I guess it kind of helped with that. I think its one of my favorites.”

“You mean emotional pain because of me?” Nick looked guilty as his finger continued to trace over it.

“Yes,” she admitted, finding it hard to lie to him. “It was kind of therapeutic in a way I guess.” She shifted uncomfortably finding the whole moment sort of weird and tense. Trying to change the subject she pulled her foot out of his grasp and stood up. “My clothes are probably done drying by now.”

“Let’s go see.” Nick stood up alongside her and followed her into the laundry room. Sure enough, the dryer had ended its cycle and he bent down to open up the door. Since he was closer he reached in to begin pulling out her clothes for her. Ironically enough the first object he pulled from the inside of the dryer was her bra.

Alyssa smirked at the image of Nick dangling her bra by one of the straps. She found it adorable how his face reddened a little by the awkwardness of it all. “I believe this belongs to you,” he told her, reaching out to hand it to her.

“Are you sure? I could’ve sworn I was wearing a red bra when I came in,” she joked. “You must have me confused with someone else.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Yea because I have pretty half naked girls stopping here every day with wet clothes,” he sarcastically replied.

Alyssa just laughed and grabbed on to strap to take it from him, but she froze when she felt her hand clenching over his. Time seemed to stand still as her eyes drifted up from their joint hands to the hungry expression on his face, and back down to their hands again. There was little space left in between their bodies and she barely even noticed his hand linger up to cup her chin. Her eyes closed just in time to feel his lips press down aggressively over hers. Unlike the last time they had kissed, where it had started off slow and sensual, steadily growing into something more passionate, there was nothing soft about this kiss. Alyssa was taken aback by the roughness of it, but at the same time found it to be exactly what she’d been craving for so long. Her hands forgot all about the bra she was holding as they flew upwards towards his hair. She hardly even noticed the garment fly out of her grasp and onto the floor below them.

They continued to kiss hurriedly and passionately as if they couldn’t get enough of each other. Alyssa couldn’t remember the last time if ever she’d experienced such a frenzy of emotions. Her heart pounded wildly in anticipation of where this might lead as she felt her lower back hit the edge of the dryer. Somewhere in the back of the mind a voice tried to remind her that she had a husband at home and even though he was being a complete asshole at the moment, it wasn’t worth jeopardizing their marriage, but its efforts were in vain. She could almost feel her blood pressure rising. She’d already gotten pretty worked up earlier in the night with Sean, so her body was acting on pure impulse. It didn’t even hit her that her hands had climbed up the bottom of Nick’s shirt and pulled it up over his head until after she’d already done it.

She pulled away for a moment, completely breathless as she drank in the sight of his bare chest. This was her first time seeing him shirtless since he’d lost all that weight after their breakup and she had to admit that he looked damn good. She could definitely tell that he’d been working out based on the newly added definition in his arms and chest that hadn’t been there before. Going in for another searing kiss, she pressed her palms up against his chest, slowly letting them slip down his body. She smirked against his lips as she felt him sharply inhale when she reached his stomach which had always been a sensitive area for him. Her fingers hooked into the waistband of the athletic shorts that he’d been wearing, lightly stroking the skin underneath. Nick groaned impatiently against her lips. The thin material of his shorts did little to hide the fact that he was already growing hard against her leg. She finally took pity on him and tugged them off his waist, helping him step out of them.

Nick stepped closer to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifted her up so she was sitting on top of the dryer. Standing between her legs, his hand slid up the top of her thigh and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing in his hands. Alyssa’s arms flew over her head as he removed it from her body, shivering a little as she felt cool air against her skin. Nick’s mouth zeroed in on her neck, and her hands gripped tightly onto the edge of the dryer for support as he nipped and sucked against the delicate area. Alyssa moaned once she felt his hand brush against the inside of her thigh while he worked the boy shorts that she was wearing down her legs. Now completely naked, her hands impatiently flew down to Nick’s waist and slid his boxers down his legs.

Things began to heat up really quickly from that point on. With the intensity of almost every moment, Alyssa knew that neither one of them would probably last through much foreplay. Nick inched her body closer to the edge of the dryer and slung her legs around him before pushing his way inside her. Alyssa actually gasped at the intensity of it. Nick tried not to move for a moment, allowing her to become familiar with the feeling of him again, before he went on. Alyssa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, signaling that she was ready. Nick gritted his teeth as he tried to control himself from starting out too fast. He’d fantasized about getting an opportunity like this with Alyssa and he definitely didn’t want to blow it.

Alyssa’s teeth nipped around his earlobe as she pushed her body up against his. She sighed into his ear as their bodies moved in perfect rhythm with each other. It had been way too long since she’d actually gotten any enjoyment out of sex, so this felt long overdue for her. She wasn’t at all thinking how wrong it was to be heading right back into the very same trap that had caused so much grief with Nick previously. She was solely focusing on the pleasure that filled her body. Her fingernails dug so deeply into Nick’s back that she was certain they’d leave marks the next day, as he slid in and out of her. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he seemed to hit all the right spots, producing satisfied moans to echo from the back of her throat.

Nick’s breathing was ragged and a film of sweat had formed along his forehead. Alyssa found the expression on his face to be extremely sexy at the moment. It was clear that he was trying so hard to restrain himself by the way his tongue hung slightly out of his mouth in concentration. She knew from experience that he was already getting close, so she squeezed her legs tighter around him. Nick gasped as he felt her tighten around him. “Don’t do that,” he begged. “Or I’ll be done in like two seconds.”

Alyssa laughed against his neck. She knew that it was taking every ounce of willpower for him to hold himself back and she felt bad for him. Besides, seeing how hard he was trying to be considerate of her as well was definitely very sexy. She pushed her hips against him harder. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “You don’t have to hold back.”

Nick looked relieved at this and reached around to press his hand against the small of her back, pushing himself deeper inside her. Alyssa moaned loudly as she felt him increase the pace. Her hands gripped his shoulders roughly as he thrust harder into her. She could already feel herself beginning to throb around him and knew that he couldn’t possibly last too much longer. As expected Nick’s eyes closed and his breathing accelerated. His body trembled underneath her touch. “Holy shit, Lyss…” he cried as he finally came.

His release was enough to bring Alyssa over the edge, and for the first time in months she finally found herself not having to fake an orgasm. She almost went limp in relief as she rode out the sensation before collapsing against him, trying to control her unsteady breathing. Finally getting the energy to open her eyes again she surveyed the room in almost disbelief. Had she actually just had sex with Nick again? On top of the dryer in the laundry room of the condo she was supposed to have moved into once upon a time, to top it all off. The situation was just so ridiculous that she couldn’t help but to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Nick asked her, running a hand through his sweaty hair.

Alyssa just shook her head. “Just how completely ‘us’ this is. God,” she moaned as she pressed her back flat against the dryer. “I think I need to lie down after that.”

Nick smirked. “Well, there’s always the bedroom.” He offered her his hand and helped her down from the dryer and back onto the floor. Her legs almost immediately buckled beneath her and Nick had to catch her to prevent her from falling. “Damn I must be good if you can barely stand.”

Alyssa just rolled her eyes as she took a shaky step. “Okay, I take the comment about you getting better with age being up for debate back. I think you’ve proven me wrong.”

“I love it when you admit that I’m right,” he teased as he led her into the bedroom. “And just for the record you were just like… wow. I’m not sure I ever saw you so just completely at ease. You can definitely tell that Sean wasn’t doing his job.”

Alyssa flopped across the bed and pulled the covers over her body. Just the mention of Sean’s name made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She knew somewhere in between her clouded thoughts that what she just did with Nick had been wrong, but she was too wrapped up in the afterglow to feel any kind of remorse just yet. Superstitiously though, her fingers tugged at the wedding band on her hand until it twisted off, and she placed it out of sight on the nightstand beside her. Almost instantaneously that little shadow of guilt faded away for the time being.

“You’re awful quiet all of a sudden,” Nick commented as he slid down beside her. “Did I say something wrong?”

She just gave him a tiny half smile, not wanting to confess to him that she just had a bit of an awkward moment. Instead she gave him an answer that was at least partly true. “Just thinking about what you just said about Sean. You’re right. He has been doing a pretty crappy job when it comes to keeping me satisfied.” She rolled onto her side so that she was resting on her elbow and blushed a little. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Nick looked amused at her question. “Go right ahead.”

Alyssa bit her lip and lowered her voice almost as if there could possibly be someone else hiding out in the room with them. “It’s been like months since Sean has gotten me off.”

A surprised expression came over Nick’s face and Alyssa was unsure if he was genuinely shocked by the news or shocked that she had been so honest with him. For a moment or two, she wondered if perhaps that was divulging too much information, but his response reassured her. “Doesn’t he realize that he’s not doing it for you?”

“Well…” She felt her cheeks grow even hotter as she realized that she couldn’t really get around confessing that she had been faking things a bit. “I’ve sort of been doing a lot of acting,” she admitted.

This time Nick found it impossible to hold back his surprise. “You? You’ve been faking it?” he incredulously cried. “You’re like the last person I would never expect… I didn’t think that you’d be the type to go there.” He paused for a moment, trying to process the news and then a horrible thought came across his mind. “By any chance you weren’t faking anything back there just now, were you?”

Alyssa almost wanted to laugh at the worried look on Nick’s face as he waited impatiently for a response. She found his self-doubt to be almost adorable especially when he had absolutely nothing to worry about. “Oh trust me, I wasn’t faking anything before. I didn’t need to. That was a thousand percent real. I admit I’ve had some practice lately, but I don’t think I’m that good of an actress.”

Hearing all of that Nick felt his confidence beginning to rise and his lips rose up into a cocky smirk. Honestly, he really didn’t get any indication that Alyssa was doing any kind of pretending and he knew from experience that she didn’t really need to. He had to admit that although it was shocking to see this side of Alyssa that he had never seen before, he actually liked it. It was strange. They’d dated at two different points in the last eight years, yet during both of those occasions he’d always felt that Alyssa wasn’t entirely comfortable with just being herself. So why now did she finally seem to let go and not care what he thought? Was it some level that she’d reached only in age? Whatever it was Nick was feeling a connection with her that although exciting, also scared him a bit. It really sucked that now that she finally seemed to be the kind of woman he’d always wanted her to be, she was off limits. He’d already probably fucked things up badly enough for her. By sleeping with her, he was just making a bad situation with Sean even worse.

But then there was the other part of him that yearned to explore this new bond he felt between the two of them. Although he knew it was wrong, he wanted to test it to see how far it could go. It was easy for him to justify it to himself. She was broken and neglected by her husband. He was readily available and willing to make up for Sean’s mistakes. There was denying that he cared about her, and she deserved better than what she was getting from Sean. Hearing about how mechanical their sex life had gotten actually angered Nick. How could a guy not be considerate of their female partner’s needs and desires?

A feeling of guilt came over him as he realized that maybe back in the laundry room he’d been a little too aggressive and unrestrained. Alyssa certainly didn’t seem to mind, but after hearing that Sean couldn’t even fully satisfy her, Nick realized that what she really needed was to be made love to, something that she’d been deprived of lately. Something that he could do for her.

He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her body closer to his. “Come here,” he told her, brushing her hair out of her face. He let his hand linger down her face until it rested on her chin. He bent forward so that his forehead was touching hers, and ever so softly he pressed his lips against hers.

The kiss started off innocent, but slowly and steadily grew deeper and more intense. Alyssa actually felt a shiver run through her when she felt his tongue break apart her lips. Out of all of her previous relationships, Nick was definitely the best kisser, hands down. He had great lips for one thing, perfectly full and soft. He also kissed with such intensity that she often wound up being left completely breathless, and he knew how to use just the right amount of tongue. Her eyes closed as she savored the moment, kissing back until she absolutely had to pull away to breathe.

“What was that for?” she asked, feeling as if her heart was about to pump right out of her chest.

Nick just innocently grinned and shrugged. “I don’t know… Felt like it, I guess. You looked like you could use that too.”

Alyssa opened her mouth to ask him exactly what he meant by that, but before she could get the words out of her mouth; his lips were on hers again. This time his kisses were deeper and more assertive, but unlike his kisses back in the laundry room, these still had a certain amount of control and softness to them. She could feel herself becoming more and more limp with each kiss. His hands, which had remained fixed on her waist, began to slowly travel up her torso as instinct took over and their bodies began to rub up against each other.

After a few moments of intense kissing, Alyssa found herself more than eager to go for another round. She rolled onto her back pulling Nick halfway on top of her, hoping that he’d get the hint, but he seemed to have other ideas. Instead he shifted his position so that he was lying on his side behind her. She shivered as his hands pushed her hair aside, brushing up against the back of her neck. A sigh escaped the back of her throat when she felt his mouth connect at right behind her ear. There were a lot of spots in this general area that drove her absolutely crazy and Nick was well aware of where they were located. His lips continued a path down the back of her neck, following the path of her spine. She arched her back against him when his mouth reached the center of her shoulder blades, sending tingly waves throughout her nerve endings.

As his lips continued to nip and suck at her neck and shoulders his hand reached up to cup one of her breasts. She drew in a sharp breath once she felt his thumb brush back and forth against the nipple, causing it to harden. The back of her head pressed against his chest as he further teased her by rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. While he continued to do the same to her other breast, Alyssa uncomfortably squirmed against him, begging for more contact.

Sensing her urgency, Nick finally gave in, sliding his hand between her legs. She cried out in relief when she finally felt his fingertips stroking against her wet folds at a slow and steady pace. Feeling his mouth suction to her shoulder, she firmly moved her hips against his fingers, urging him to go faster. Nick seemed to disregard her pleas and continued almost painfully slow, but with more intensity. Alyssa pressed her face against the pillow, muffling her frustrated cries. He was killing her with how controlled and restrained he was being, and not being able to see his face was getting to her even more. Finally his fingertips brushed up against her clit, rubbing it between his fingers which produced a loud, pleading, moan from her. “Nick… please,” she begged.

“I’ll stop if that’s what you really want,” his voice huskily teased against her ear, sending goose bumps up and down her arms.

Before she had a chance to tell him what she wanted, he flipped her onto her back silencing her with a sensual kiss. Her body was still pleading for his touch and she bucked her hips up against his. Ignoring her movement, Nick grabbed her arms by the wrists and pinned them over her head. Breaking apart from her lips, he trailed kisses across her collarbone, and down over her breasts. Alyssa whimpered as his mouth clamped down over one of her nipples and sucked at the delicate flesh. Her back arched, fighting his hold on her, but she was unable to fully free her arms until he moved farther down her body. She noticed Nick smirk as he noticed that she still had her belly button pierced. “You know that you’re going to have to get rid of this thing if you ever do get pregnant,” he pointed out between a few tugs at it with his mouth.

Alyssa bit her lip as she lightly sighed. She had been thinking of getting rid of it lately, but for now she was secretly glad that she hadn’t yet taken it out. “Well, I’m not pregnant yet,” she responded in a throaty voice.

Nick didn’t say anything to this. He continued trailing kisses along her hip bones his hands already sliding down her thighs as he pushed them apart. Alyssa’s heart rate immediately tripled as she realized where he was heading. She was already breathing heavily in anticipation and she wasn’t disappointed when she felt his tongue against her. Her hips jolted upwards and she gasped feeling it swirl around her opening. It had been a really long time since she’d received any kind of oral pleasure, so the sensation almost felt like a brand new experience to her. She definitely wasn’t used to being the center of so much attention and her body was already trembling from it all. “God…” she moaned as she felt the added stimulation of his fingertips rubbing her. Her head tossed from side to side, feeling her climax beginning to build up while her cries grew louder. If he pulled away again now like he had done before she’d probably have to kill him. Thankfully he didn’t, and Alyssa’s body shuddered as she came even stronger than before.

She could only lay there struggling to calm down her now erratic breathing as he made his way back up her body. She was too stunned to say anything for a moment or two before it finally clicked to her that Nick had to be pretty worked up himself. Wanting to return the favor, Alyssa climbed on top of him and began a feather light trail of kisses down his chest. Nick moaned when he felt the tip of her tongue drag across his skin. Realizing where this was heading he shifted in anticipation remembering her comment at lunch about two months earlier, hinting at how things and people could change. I wasn’t that type of girl. But things can change over time, right? Her words echoed back at him and he had to admit that at the time he really had secretly fantasized about getting the opportunity to see whether or not she was serious or just bluffing. Now that the opportunity was right in his grasp it was very difficult to resist the temptation, but a little voice in his head reminded him of his original intentions. As much as he wanted to take advantage of the situation he knew that it would be wrong to do so. Great time for you conscience to kick in Carter, he told himself, but knew that by stopping her he was doing the right thing. He wanted her to see that he really had changed and turning down a potential blowjob had to definitely do the trick.

Before she could get any farther and he lost his nerve, he sat up causing Alyssa to pull back in concern. Her large brown eyes looked up at him seeming worried. “Did I do something wrong?”

Nick just shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, quite the opposite actually.” This response seemed to confuse her even more, so he continued on trying to offer some kind of explanation. “I just don’t want you to worry about me right now.”

“But-“she sputtered a little bit before he placed a fingertip over her lip to cut her off. Was he actually seriously turning down head?

“I want this to be about you.”

Alyssa could practically feel herself soften at his words. There was something so incredibly sexy about the gesture that it made her want him even more now. It really showed just how much he’d grown in the last three years. Not being able to think of a better response she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him so deeply that it shocked even herself. Although he seemed surprised, Nick returned the kiss and grinned against her lips as he got an idea. Scooting himself back a bit, so that he was leaning against the pillows he pulled Alyssa onto his lap. Understanding what he wanted, she swung her legs onto either side of him so that she was straddling him. She adjusted her body so that it was perfectly lined up with his and slowly she sunk down on him, letting him enter her fully.

Being so close face to face like that, Alyssa could tell that just by expression on Nick’s face that he was relieved to finally be inside of her. He hadn’t made any complaints, but she knew that he had to be dying. Not wasting any more time, she began rotating her hips against him, her hands pressing down on his shoulders. She felt his lips against the front of her throat, making her head tilt back and her eyes close as she increased the pressure of her hips.

“Open your eyes,” he commanded in a low voice next to her ear.

Her eyes snapped back open and locked gaze with his for a moment sending a little shiver down her spine. They were just about eye level with each other and their bodies were as close as they possibly could be. Alyssa was the first to break the gaze, a little intimidated by the intensity of it. Instead she focused her attention on trailing a path of kisses along his jaw line as she concentrated on moving up and down against him. She felt his hands dig deeper into her hips and a satisfied groan escaped his lips. He pulled away from her to concentrate at nibbling on her collarbone eliciting another frustrated cry from her. Normally she’d enjoy the intimacy of the moment, but her patience was already wearing thin. Hooking her hands behind his neck, she pressed her feet against the headboard, trying to get him deeper inside her. Nick noticed her impatience and pressed one of his hands against the small of her back. The other one crept up her thigh towards her hip, directing her where he wanted her.

“You almost there?” she rasped out between breaths, her face already appearing flushed.

“Just about,” he answered between gritted teeth. Wanting to make sure that she definitely came before him, he slipped his hand between the two of them, circling her clit with the pad of his thumb. The added stimulation was just enough to send her release flooding through her. Relieved that he’d managed to hang on, he finally collapsed against her shoulder as he came.

Still feeling a little bit shaky from her orgasm, Alyssa rolled off of him and cuddled up against his side. She had a feeling that she’d definitely be feeling it tomorrow morning, both emotionally and physically, but for now she didn’t want to think about it. Her eyes were already feeling like dead weights, so she allowed them to close stifling a yawn.

“Tired?” she heard Nick’s voice ask beside her.

She nodded. “Uh huh. It’s been a long emotional day.”

“You can say that one again,” he agreed. “Go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow morning.”

“Mmhm,” Alyssa replied pulling the blankets over her tighter. It had been an emotionally taxing evening and deep down she knew from experience that it would only be harder tomorrow morning when it finally fully sunk in what she had done. But for now she wanted nothing more than to live in the moment and use an illusion to escape the hard reality in front of her.