FATAL REALITY --- PROLOGUE

*******

I gasped loudly and opened my eyes. My breathed short jagged breaths. Tears and sweat soaked my nightgown and the bed. I looked around the room and started to cry. This is not the place I wanted to end up in.

“Christy….”

 FATAL REALITY --- CHAPTER 1

At the front desk, a nurse name Marissa Miller wrote down important information about the patients at San Diego Hospital. She was suddenly interrupted by loud shrill cry. She gasped loudly, covering her chest with her free hand. She shot out of her chair and ran down the hallway, along with two other doctors. They reached room 12 where the cries and screams were coming from. They raced inside and ran to their patients bedside.

“I’M SO SORRY!!!!! I PROMISED I WOULDN’T LET GO!!!! NOOO!!! DON’T TAKE HER!!!!” The patient screamed loudly. That patient was Aaron. Marissa put her hands on Aaron’s shoulders and tried to calm him down.

“Aaron, I need you to calm down for me!!!”

“NOOO!!!! I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SORRY I LET GO!!!!!” Aaron sobbed hard and moved around wildly. Tears started to build up in Marissa’s eyes. She had cared for Aaron since the day he was emitted almost a year ago. He continued to have nightmares about the accident. He would barely eat or drink anything for her at times. Sometimes he does pretty good. She likes to strike up conversations with him, even though he doesn’t talk back she knows he listens. All Aaron does is stare at the wall or sit in his wheel chair and stare out the window. Marissa would even push him around outside in the hospital’s garden and let him see the flowers and get some fresh air.

“Restrain him.” Doctor Miller told one of the nurses beside him. The nurse obeyed and restrained him. Aaron suddenly fell quiet. He mumbled on and shook. His eyes were wide and Marissa could tell that he was scared. Doctor Miller motioned everyone out. Marissa didn’t want to go but she obeyed and walked out of room 12. Doctor Miller stopped just outside of the door and turned toward Marissa.

“This is getting out of hand, Marissa.” Doctor Miller said firmly.

Marissa swallowed hard, “I’m aware of that.”

“I’m thinking about releasing him and sending him to Saint Johns Institution.”

Marissa’s eyes widened, “But-but that’s a mental institution. Aaron’s not insane. He’s just….he’s just traumatized that’s all.”

“Aaron has been here for almost a year now and he hasn’t gotten any better. As a matter of fact he’s gotten worse.”

“Jack, I want you to trust me that I can take care of him.”

Jack raised his eyes brows, “Marissa, he’s own family can’t snap him out of his hell he’s living. Angel is over here everyday for hours on end, trying to talk to him and all he does is look out that window. What makes you think you can take care of him.”

“I’m scared that I can’t. But let me try. He just needs some time.”

“He’s had all the time in the world and if you don’t straighten him out I will send him to Saint Johns and have them deal with him.”

“You are not sending him anywhere expect home!” Marissa hissed, on the verge of tears, “That’s where he really belongs. You don’t send traumatized patients to a mental initiation. What the hell is wrong with you, Jack. Do you realize what he lost?”

Jack sighed and grabbed her arms gently, “Yes I do. And I’m sorry I’m being such an asshole about it. I’m tired, I’m over worked and I’m scared we’re going to loose him. So you do all you can. I’ll you see you at home.” Jack bent down and kissed her on the cheek. Marissa sighed and turned toward the window looking into Aaron’s room.

“It’s a fatal reality baby. But you can do it. You can do it.”

Later that night, Marissa arrives home. She sits her purse on the table and pushes the message button on her telephone. Just opened up the cabinet and got herself a glass of water as she listened to the messages that were left for her.

“Marissa, it’s mom. I guess you’re still at work. You’re such a busy little bee. Have you made up you’re mind about our mother and daughter trip to New York? You need to get out hunnie. Call me when ever you have the chance. I love you darling. Bye.” Marissa sighed and turned off the answering machine. Her mother wanted to take her to New York City for a mother and daughter outing. It’s really exactly what Marissa needs. To get away from work and from the city. She’s been working non stop since Jerry died and barely left the city for anything. Her mother didn’t think it was too healthy for her so that’s why she planned the trip. Marissa sat down at the table, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. She really wanted to go on that trip, after all she really needs a vacation. She knew Jack wouldn’t mind, he was the one who persuaded her to go in the first place. Marissa knew now would be the worst time to go away. Especially the condition Aaron is in. She said she was going to take care of him and that’s what she’s going to do. She knew how Aaron felt and the hell he must be facing. Losing someone you love is hard. Her son Jerry died in the exact same plane crash that Aaron’s fiancé Christy was killed in. She knew that was a huge reason why Aaron was so traumatized, because he actually saw her die, but Marissa thought there was something else. Something Aaron is keeping to himself. She never actually told him about Jerry. Marissa thought maybe she should tell him tomorrow about Jerry and maybe, just maybe, he’ll open up to her. Tell her what is really wrong. Marissa has always had strong faith in Aaron. She’s probably the oldest fan of his, being a ripe age of forty two years old. Aaron’s twin sister Angel comes by every day to see him and talk to him and tomorrow Marissa expected to see her again. Nick and the other girls come down ever so often to talk to him. Nick is upset about the whole situation that he doesn’t come as often as he used to. Right now Nick is overseas with the backstreet boys, touring for their new album which will be coming out pretty soon, so who knows how long it would be until Nick comes by and sees him again.

Sighing, Marissa stood up and walked toward her bedroom. Laying down on the bed she closed her eyes and let the darkness surround her.

The next morning, Marissa walked up to her desk and set her purse down. Then there was a knock at the door. She looked up and saw Amy, another nurse that works on the east wing, open the door and step in. Marissa smiled and picked up her clipboard.

“Good morning, Marissa.” Amy said politely.

“Good morning to you too, Amy.” Marissa smiled at her and walked out of her office. Amy followed suit.

“Um, I already faxed Aaron’s test results to Tampa General Hospital, in Tampa Bay so Dr. Harrison can look them over and decide if we should send Aaron to Tampa or not.” Amy told her. Marissa looked up from her clipboard and looked at her.

“Okay, thank you Amy.” Marissa began to walk away but turned back toward Amy.

“Um…..did anything happen to him during the night by any chance?”

Amy shook her head, “Shockingly no. I checked on him ever so often and he just remained the same.”

Marissa narrowed her eyes, “Um okay, that’s weird.” She walked over to the medicine room and pulled out a needle and some penicillin, “I’m going to go tend to him now, and see if he’ll wake up for me.”

Amy nodded, “Okay, well I’m just going to head out now.”

“Okay, drive safely.” Amy waved goodbye and left, “Oh Marissa!” Amy said, walking back into the room, “Jessica starts today on your wing. She’ll be helping you with Aaron.”

Marissa nodded, “Thank you, Amy.” Amy nodded and left as she was going to do so. Marissa grabbed her needle and some gauze and headed toward Aaron’s room. She peered into his window and slowly opened the door. She walked up to him and saw that he was staring at the ceiling. She smiled and sat down on the bed.

“Hey, sweetie. Are you feeling better today?” She said, running her fingers through his hair. Aaron stayed silent. Marissa got up and opened the blinds to let the sunshine in.

“It’s a beautiful day today. Maybe I’ll take you out into the garden. Would you like that?” Still he was silent. Marissa sighed and gently gave him his daily shot. There was a knock at the door. Marissa got up quickly and answered it.

“Breakfast time.” Darla, the lunch lady said, standing there with a trey of hot cereal in her hand. Marissa took the trey and thanked her.

“Breakfast is here, hunnie. “ She said the trey down and lifted Aaron up so he was sitting up. Marissa scooped up a little bit of oatmeal in her spoon and lifted it up to Aaron’s lips. She didn’t try to force it in his mouth or anything, she just set it near his lips, hoping he’ll open his mouth so she can feed him. Aaron did nothing of the sort.

“Come on baby, eat something for me please.” She pleaded. Still he didn’t move. Marissa put the spoon down and picked up a couple of eggs and tried to feed him that. Nothing. She sighed and put the fork down. Aaron sighed heavily and closed his eyes. The medicine was kicking in. Marissa got up and laid Aaron back down and pulled the covers up to his chin. She squeezed his hand and left.

*****

Marissa walked into the nurses station and poured herself a cup of coffee. She took a sip and breathed in its sweet smell. Jack walked in behind her and poured himself a cup also. Jack stole a glance at his wife before taking a sip of his coffee.

“How is he?” Marissa flinched at his sudden voice. She shook her thought away and sat down.

“He’s resting.” She answered.

Jack nodded, “Isn’t Jessica starting today?”

“Yes.” She said quietly.

“And she’ll be helping you with Aaron?”

Marissa took another sip of her coffee and sat it down on the table, “Yes, Jack. She’ll be helping me.”

“Does she know about him?’’

“Of course I told her he was here.”

Jack raised his eyebrows, “But does she know how bad he is?”

Marissa bit her lip and hesitated for a bit, “Well, I haven’t told her every single detail of what he goes through sometimes, but I’ll tell her today, so she can help as well.” Jack sighed and pulled out some papers from his brief case.

“Marissa, I’ve been thinking lately. I really don’t think you can save, Aaron. I mean he’s pretty much gone. I don’t think you can bring him back.”

Marissa shrugged, “He’s not gone yet. Oh and by the way, Angel will be here around one, so I’ll need help sitting him up in his wheelchair since Jessica won’t be here until 6 tonight.”

Jack sighed heavily and put the papers he was thumbing through back into his briefcase, “Alright. But honestly……I think Angel is wasting her time.”

Marissa rolled her eyes, “I’m not the one you should be telling.”

“Your right! I guess I’ll see Angel at one.” Jack grinned, walking out of the station. Tears sprung to Marissa eyes. She took a shaky breath and rested her face in her hands and lets the tears escape.

**********

After awhile Marissa finally stood up, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform. Donna, another nurse walked into the station. Marissa tried to avoid eye contact with her so she wouldn’t see that she had been crying. But Donna noticed.

“Mar, are you okay?” Donna asked walking up to her and putting her arm around her. Marissa took a deep breath, grabbing her water bottle and taking a sip out of it. She took a deep breath and finally turned to Donna.

“I will be.” She sighed and sat on a bar stool. She shook her head, feeling the tears coming on again. “I just understand that man. Donna, if you were me would you want to help Aaron anyway you could?”

“Of course I would. I’m not that heartless like some people…..” Donna trailed off when she looked a upon Marissa’s face, “Oh honey, I’m sorry.” She apologized. Marissa shook her head and held up her hand.

“Don’t be sorry, Donna. It’s okay. I know Jack cares. He cared when Aaron first came to the hospital. He’s just stressed out that’s all. I don’t really think he means it….” She trailed off and looked away. Donna kissed the top of her head. Doctor Thomas peeked his head through the door a couple of seconds later.

“Angel is here.” He told Marissa. Marissa looked at her watch.

“She’s here already here?!” Marissa said, wide eyed, “She wasn’t supposed to be here until one. At least that’s what her mother told me. Where is she?”

“She’s out in the lobby.” Doctor Thomas said, nodding toward the lobby. Marissa nodded and took a drink of her water.

“Donna, can you and Doctor Thomas help Aaron into his wheel chair, please, while I go talk to Angel?”

Donna nodded, “Sure thing, Marissa.”

“Will do.” Doctor Thomas nodded as well and they took off down to Aaron’s room. Marissa walked out into the lobby and greeted Angel with a warm smile. Angel was seated on one of the leather couches with a magazine in her hand.

“Marissa, hi.” Angel greeted her politely. Marissa wrapped her arms around the young woman and smoothed out her hair with her hand.

“How are you sweetie?”

“I’ve been pretty good. How are you Mar?” Marissa took a breath, taking Angel’s arm and leading her down the hall toward Aaron’s room.

“I’ve been struggling a lot. Mainly with stress at work. Trying to get Aaron to respond more to me and Jack is just…..he just doesn’t care anymore. He wants me to stop trying to help your brother, Angel.” Angel stopped and turned toward her, disappointment in her eyes.

“Why is that?”

Marissa shrugged, “I don’t know sweetie. I really don’t know.”

“Marissa, you can’t give up on him. I’m not going to and neither should you.” Angel told her, grabbed her soft hands in hers. Marissa smiled weakly at her.

“Angel I will never give up on your brother. I will give my arm and maybe a leg for him and you know that,” Angel nodded. “Angel, if Jack talks to you about wasting your time coming down here, don’t listen to him. Go in there and visit Aaron before Jack can have a chance to talk to you. I’ll have a talk with Jack later.”

“Okay, but Marissa, did anything happen to him over night?”

“He did have another nightmare, followed by another episode around eight last night. He was fine and sleeping like a baby the night after that. But he refused to eat breakfast this morning.” Angel nodded and grabbed the door hand leading into Aaron’s room.

“Thanks Marissa.” Angel said, giving her a small smile. Marissa rubbed her shoulder, turned and walked back toward the station. Angel took a deep breath and slowly walked into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Aaron sat in his wheelchair, staring out of the window as he did everyday, when Angel came by to see him. He sat as still as a statue, his eyes blank. Angel gently placed her hand on top of his and bent down to his level.

“Hi, Aaron.” She kissed his hand and ran her fingers through the tips of his long shaggy blond hair.

“How are you doing today?” Angel knew deep down that he wanted to answer her but she also knew he couldn’t. She said beside him for quite awhile before talking to him again.

“I love you, Aaron. And I know you know that. But it’s going to be okay, honey. You will get through this. You’re strong and wise. I have faith in you and I know you have faith in yourself as well. You just need to find it. Christy, she…..” Angel trailed, knowing every time she mentions Christy’s name in front of Aaron, he’ll end up going crazy. But he didn’t move. Angel continued.

“She’s in a very special place……” Angel stopped short when she noticed that Aaron’s jaw tightened. Uh oh. ‘Tell him something else, Angel.’ Angel thought to herself.

“Angel.” Angel’s eyes popped opened when she could have sworn she heard her name. She slowly looked up and glanced up at her twin brother. Aaron was actually looking at her. Angel swallowed hard and held Aaron’s hand tightly.

“Aaron….did you just say my name?” She whispered, hopefully to get an answer to tell her that she didn’t imagine it. Aaron held his gaze, the same gaze he always portrays. But then something changed. His expression turned cold and dark. To Angel it seemed like his eyes darkened all of a sudden. Angel gasped loudly when Aaron yanked his hand away.

“How can you lie to me?” Aaron told her, his voice cold and scratchy. Angel’s eyes widened. She sank back a little ways from the wheel chair.

“Aaron…..what are you talking about?” Angel could feel her heart starting to break. She was confused on why he would say something like that.

“Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once in your life? Telling me that everything is going to be okay. What bullshit! The truth is that everything is not going to be okay!” Aaron said, his eyes blaring. Angel stood up and sat on the bed.

“I don’t understand.”

Aaron snorted, “You never do! You don’t understand what I have been through !”

“Aaron, yes I do----”

“You do?! You do?!?! The hell you do! You were not on that plane Angel! You did not see everyone die right before your eyes and scared to death of dying yourself! You didn’t get to see Christy die right in front of you, but I did!!! I told her I wasn’t going to let her go, but I did! I let her go, Angel!! I promised her!!! And now you’re sitting there telling me that you understand?! God Dammit, Angel, don’t fucking lie to me!!!!!” Aaron sobbed hard, letting his agony and the anger all out. Angel choked back a sob and reached for me. Aaron swung his hand down and slapped her hand away, hard. Angel gasped when he did. She lifted it up and rubbed her hand, tears releasing from her eyes.

“Aaron, please….” She pleaded for him to just listen to her.

“Just leave, Angel.” He said, he gaze hard as a rock.

“Please, just listen to me---”

“Did I fucking stutter? I said leave! Get out! GET OUT!!!!!!!” He screamed, grabbing her by the arm and pulled her off the bed. Angel shrieked and pulled away from him, “Don’t you ever come back, Angel. Just leave me alone!!!” Angel stumbled toward the door, sobs escaping from her lips. When she got the door she turned back.

“I love you.” She whispered. Aaron’s jaw tightened.

“Get……..out.” He gritted between his teeth. Angel turned and quickly walked out of the door. She walked swiftly down the hall, her head down so no one can see her tears. As she neared the entrance, she heard someone running up behind her. Someone grabbed her and turned her around.

“Angel, what’s the matter?” Angel looked up and stared at Marissa. Marissa gasped when she saw Angel’s tear stained face.

“Jesus, Angel what happened? Tell me baby? Is Aaron okay?”

Angel swallowed hard, “No, he isn’t.”

“What happened?”

“Maybe I am wasting my time coming down here, Mar.” Angel said, her voice cracking. Marissa searched Angels eyes for something else than that.

“Oh no. No don’t say that sweetie. Aaron will come around. Just have faith.”

Angel shook her head, “Marissa…..Aaron spoke to me.”

Marissa’s eyes widened, ‘’Really, what did he say?” She said, smiling from ear to ear.

“Nothing good.” Marissa smile faded almost immediately when she said that.

“What do you mean?”

“He blames himself for Christy’s death. And he told me to get out and so I am. I’m not going to come back for a couple of days, so I can let him cool off. But I want you to call me if anything happens to him.”

Marissa swallowed back the her tears and nodded. Angel gave her a weak smile and started out the door. She stopped and turned back to her.

“Oh Marissa, next time you tell Aaron that everything is going to be okay. All you’re going to be doing is lying to him. Don’t lie to him, tell the truth. Even if it’s not the truth to you.” Marissa took a deep breath and nodded slowly. With that Angel turned and walked out of the hospital. Marissa stood there by the entrance dumbfounded and jittery, staring after her, Angel’s words playing over in her head.

 CHAPTER FOUR----FATAL REALITY

Sitting quietly in her office, Marissa drummed her fingers on her desk deep in thought. Angel’s words danced around in her head, ‘Don’t tell him everything is going to be okay. You’ll only be lying to him. Tell him the truth.’

Marissa frowned, “Everything will be okay. It has to be. ” She told herself. She thought about going to talk to Aaron about it but she decided not to. He would probably jump her too. A tapping at the door pulled her away from her thoughts.

Marissa cleared her throat, “Come in.” The door opened and a young woman around eighteen poked her head in.

“Hi Aunt Mar.” She greeted her with a smile. Marissa smiled and stood up. She walked up to the young girl and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

“Oh Jessica. I’m so glad you’re here.” Marissa said, pulling away from her niece.

Jessica frowned, “Are you okay? You look really stressed out. Work?” Marissa took a deep breath and told Jessica to take a seat.

“No not work. A patient.” She answered, rubbing her hands together nervously.

“Oh?”

“It’s someone that you’ll be helping me with. That’s why I hired you.”

“Who is it?”

“Marissa rubbed her eyes tiredly, “I think you know.” Jessica’s eyes widened. She quickly looked down at her lap.

“Aaron.” She answered quietly.

Marissa nodded, “Yes.”

“He’s worse than you said he was isn’t he?” Marissa sighed, turning her head away.

“Jessica, I didn’t want you do worry.” She whispered, her eyes facing downward.

“Is it life threatening?”

Marissa’s head shot up and she frowned at her niece, “What? Oh no sweetheart, it’s not like that anymore. Aaron is physically okay. But not emotionally or…..mentally either.”

Jessica’s breath caught in her throat, “Mentally?” Marissa raised over to Jessica and grabbed her hands in hers.

“Jessica listen to me. I am not going to give up on him. I know there’s still a part of him in there somewhere inside his heart. And I am not going to rest until I know he’s going to be okay, but Jessica….I can’t do this alone. I need your help. I can’t lose him. We have to get him out of this hell he is living and we got to do it fast.” Marissa tucked a strand of hair behind Jessica’s ear and whipped a single tear away.

“Can you do that for me please.”

Jessica sniffed, “Aunt Mar, I wouldn’t have signed up for this job if I wasn’t going to help you. Of course I will.”

Marissa nodded and took her hand, “Alright. Come on.” Jessica excepted her aunts hand and walked down the hall with her. Down the hall, Jack stood staring into Aarons room.

“Jack?” Marissa sighed stopping short in beside her husband.

“What?” Jack quickly answered. He glanced at her, but his expression soften when he saw Jessica, “Hey sweetheart. “ Jack leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and gave her a small hug.

“Hey Uncle Jack.”

“You’ve gotten so beautiful. It’s been so long since the last time I saw you.”

“I know, too long. So how’s work for you?”

“Oh you know, stress, stress, and more stress.” Jack said chuckling a bit. He kissed Jessica sweetly on the head, “I have to get back to work. Good luck and I’ll see you.”

“Okay.” Jessica smiled.

Jack looked at Marissa and gave her a small nod, “Marissa.” He coolly greeted her while walking off toward his office. Jessica frowned at her Uncle Jacks reaction to Mar. She was so used to seeing them together and happy. Jessica put her hand on Marissa’s arm.

“Aunt Mar?” Jessica said with uncertainty.

“Yes, sweetie?”

Jessica licked her lips, “Are you and Uncle Jack….okay?”

Marissa gave her small smile, “Oh you don’t have to worry about us, Jess. It’s just work and stress that’s putting a little strain on us. It’s nothing to worry about. We’ll be fine, I promise.” Jessica nodded and looked through the window. She smiled softly to herself, seeing Aaron sleeping peacefully in his bed.

“Why don’t you go on in and get used to his room. You’re going to be in there a lot.” Jessica silently chuckled to herself and stepped in before turning back to Marissa.

“Aren’t you coming in too?”

“I have to run back to my office real fast. I’ll join you here in a few minutes.” Marissa told her. Jessica nodded and quietly slipped into the room. Whipping her sweaty palms on her jeans, Jessica silently sat down on the edge of the bed and gently laid her hand on top of his. Jessica flinched when Aaron suddenly opened his eyes. She sucked in a short breath as she looked down at him. Aaron didn’t seem like he was actually looking at her, but through her. Jessica suddenly felt uneasy and uncomfortable. Aaron stared at her, like she made out of nothing. Nothing what’s so ever. To Jessica his eyes weren’t even there. They were blank and lifeless. Just then it seemed like his eyes took on a life of it’s own. Watery mist began to cover his eyes. Jessica swallowed hard and touched his finger tips to his cheek and leaned in closer to him.

“Please don’t cry.” As she spoke, more tears formed in his eyes, until one tear finally slipped from his eye. Aaron suddenly grabbed Jessica’s arm, forming a death grip on her. Jessica’s breathing picked up. Her chest feeling heavy with every breath she took.

“Christy.” Aaron whispered, his voice hoarse. Jessica frowned and straightened up just a bit.

“Huh?”

“Christy….baby…..” Aaron cupped her cheek, tears now streaming down his cheeks.

“Um….my name’s Jessica Miller, sweetie. I’m Marissa’s niece.” Grabbing her other arm, Aaron pulled her down closer.

“I thought I lost you baby. The fire, the tears…the fear…..it wasn’t real. It was just a dream. Cause you’re here with me now. We can get married and have as may kids as you want. I knew this was all a nightmare. You’re alive.” Jessica stared at him, shivering. She licked her chapped lips and tried to find her voice.

“Um….I think you’re confusing me with somebody else.” Jessica cried. Aaron gave a small laugh and a smile, fresh tears falling down his face.

“Oh Christy, I love you so much, “He sobbed. “I would’ve died if you left me.” Jessica finally had enough strength to pull herself out of Aaron’s arms. What happened next, Jessica wished she never moved.

“No! Christy don’t go! Please don’t let me go! I promised not to let you go! Don’t let go of me!” He screamed and sobbed. Jessica didn’t know what to do, she was paralyzed in fear. She watched helplessly as Aaron screamed, sobbed and clawed at his bed. Marissa ran blindly into the room along with two other nurses. Marissa jumped on the bed trying her best to pin him down.

“Jessica, what the hell just happened?!” She shot at her. Jessica stayed silent, still in shock.

“Marissa we got him under control! Take her outside!” Julie told Marissa. Marissa loosened her grip on Aaron but she held her ground.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes go!” Marissa shot off the bed, grabbed Jessica and dragged her out of the room. Once out in the hall, Jessica finally snapped back to reality.

“What happened, Jess? What happened in there?” Marissa asked in a panic, grabbing Jessica’s shoulders tightly.

“Aunt Mar….who’s Christy?”

Marissa sucked in a breath and let her hands fall down to her sides, “Why do you want to know about Christy?”

“When Aaron saw me, he called me Christy. Who is she?”

Marissa sighed, “Jess…Christy is Aaron’s…….Christy was Aaron’s fiancée. She’s dead.” Jessica’s eyes widened, “She died in that plane crash.”

“Then why does he think I’m her?”

Marissa sighed and grabbed her hands and held them, “Christy was really beautiful. Rich Dark Brown hair, piercing hazel eyes, perfect smile. Jessica…..you look exactly like her………”

Jessica froze. Her mouth suddenly felt dry like sand paper. A shiver ran down her spine. With difficulty she licked her lips.

“W….what?” What do you mean I look exactly like her.” Jessica managed to choke out.

Marissa sighed, “You just reminded him of her that’s all, hunnie.”

“Aunt Mar, I don’t think me working here is going to work out when Aaron thinks I’m Christy and freaks out every time he sees me.”

“Jess, I know it’s going to be hard but trust me I am determined to help him and I’m going to go do that right now.”

Jessica put her hand up, “Aaron has been here for over a year, how can you be sure you can snap him out of it in just one day? You’ve been trying to do it forever.”

“Because there’s something I haven’t told him and it has to do with Jerry.” Marissa rubbed her eyes tiredly.

“What does this have to do with Jerry? He died in a car accident.”

Marissa shook her head, “No he didn’t. He died in that plane crash. Aaron has to know I know how he feels and what he is struggling with. I have to let him know it’s okay to be afraid. That it’s okay to hurt. I want him know that it is not okay for him to blame himself for Christy’s death and that you can’t save everybody, especially in a horrific accident as that was . You can try to save them. What he needs to understand is that atleast he tried, instead of sitting back and watching her die without doing anything to try to save her.“ Marissa whipped the tears that have fallen down her face.

“Aunt Mar, why didn’t you just tell me truth about Jerry? Why make up the car accident story?” Jessica asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Ask your uncle. “ Marissa plainly said, “Jessica why don’t you take a break. Go get to know the other nurses. I’m going to go talk to my patent and I hope this information will break him out of his hell.”

“Probably only halfway, Aunt Mar. “

“Right.” Marissa nodded and slipped into Aaron’s room. She turned back to Jessica, her eyes tired and sad, “ Please don’t give up, I can’t do this by myself.” Jessica reached for her aunt’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“I won’t, I promise. I love him too you know.” Marissa nodded in agreement and slowly closed the door.

Jessica walked into the nurses station and sat down at the counter. Julie then walked in and smiled when she saw her.

“Why hello, Jessica.”

“Is Aaron okay?” Jessica quickly asked. Julie looked at her softly.

“He’s okay, hunnie. He doesn’t remember anything that happened.”

Jessica sighed, “Yeah well I do.”

Julie sat down beside her, “Don’t feel bad, Jess. He’ll be okay. He has to be. It might take a little bit mare time, but I sure hope he gets better.”

“Me too, but I feel like I can’t be around him because when he looks at me he thinks I’m Christy and he freaks out. I just wish he could meet me and know that. I want him to know who I am. I want him to let me help him too. And right now I’m scared I can’t.” Julie smiled and smoothed out Jessica’s hair.

“He will, hunnie. You just have to give him time.”

“What if we can’t help him? What if it’s just a waste of time?” Jessica sighed.

“You can’t think like that, Jessica.” Julie told her, “This sort of thing happens all the time. Kids going though a deep depression, denial. Some of them meet their fate but the ones that survive realized that there are people out there, people who care so much about them, and people who will not leave them be when they want to be left alone. Those are the people that help those kids want to see a new day. And you and Marissa are that reason. You can’t be scared to go up there and hold his hand, Jessica. You can’t be afraid to talk to him and even if he does freak out on you, you have to take control. Make him understand, help him understand why he’s here. Why he’s in this situation and help him understand why he wasn’t meant to save Christy. If he was meant to….he would have.” Julie explained. Jessica swallowed the huge lump in her throat.

Jessica nodded, “Aunt Mar is already in there doing that right now.”

Julie raised her eyebrows, “You want to go help her?”

“She wanted to see him alone. Something to do with Jerry.” She paused, ‘’Julie, did you know he died in that plane crash?”

Julie nodded, “Yes I did know that.”

Jessica narrowed her eyes, “You did?”

“Yeah. You didn’t?”

“I think Uncle Jack wanted me to think he died in a car crash.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. But I plan to find out.” Jessica said, leaning back in her chair. She felt her the heat rise up from her cheeks in anger. She didn’t understand why Jack couldn’t just tell her the truth in the first place. For over a year she had been lied to. She wondered if Jack told Marissa not to tell her the truth either. That’s why Marissa always told her it was a car accident. Jack obviously didn’t want her to know and Jessica is determined to figure out why.

“Jessica, there’s always a reason behind everything. Remember that.” Jessica nodded silently. Julie patted her on the shoulder and left the room, leaving Jessica to her thoughts.

------

Meanwhile in Aaron’s room, Marissa silently sat down on the edge of the bed and stared sadly at him. Aaron laid on his left side, his back to her. Marissa slipped in beside him, wrapping her arms around him, holding him close. Aaron’s body felt cold and she pressed more tightly up against him. She moved his hair away from his face and kissed his temple.

“Are you awake?” She whispered in his ear. Marissa felt him give her a small nod. Marissa took a deep breath and began, “I want you to listen carefully of what I have to tell you. I don’t want you to blow up at me like you did to Angel earlier. Just listen to me. Can you do that?” Aaron nodded, “Okay. Aaron what you are feeling right now, I understand. You have every right to feel heartbroken. But sweetie, you can’t blame yourself for what happened to Christy. If you were meant to save her, you would have. You just got to realize, is that you risked your life to try and save her in the first place. You didn’t just sit back and watch her die, you fought. And that proves that you loved her very much. You just to got understand that death is a part life and we all have to go sometime, even when it’s for the reason we don’t understand,” She paused, “Aaron, I haven’t told you this and I wish I told you this sooner. My son who was only nineteen at the time died in that accident also. I was just like you, I thought I wouldn’t survive it. But after awhile I realized that life is still out there. Waiting for me to take on something else. Something that allows me to want to see a new day. You can’t spend the rest of your life blaming yourself. You got to be strong. You got to have faith in yourself that you can make it to tomorrow. To live another day. It will be okay, baby. You’ve got to have faith in that. Just give it time.” By that time Aaron was sobbing. Marissa gave him little kisses on his soaked cheek. Aaron turned around in her arms and embraced her. Marissa stroked his hair as sobs took over his body.

“I want to get better. But I just don’t know what to do.” Aaron cried hard, “I miss her so much.”

“I know, baby. I know.”

“Mar, I don’t like it here. I want to go home….” Aaron whispered. His sobs finally desisted, but the tears kept coming. Marissa didn’t say anything else. She gently pulled herself away from him and laid him down. She pulled the blankets up to his chin and kissed his forehead.

“I’ll be right back.” Aaron nodded, closing his eyes and drifting to sleep. Marissa pulled herself off of the bed and walked to the door.

“Who is she?” Aaron asked. Marissa turned, her hand on the door knob.

“Who?”

“That girl that came in here earlier. Who is she?”

Marissa took a deep breath, “That would be my niece, Jessica.”

“She reminded me a lot of Christy. “ Aaron told her.

Marissa nodded, “I know. But remember she isn’t. She’s just Jessica.” Aaron nodded. Marissa smiled and walked out into the hall.

“I know what to do.” She said, making sure the door was shut all the way.

“Hey Julie. Hey sweetie.” Marissa greeted Julie and Jessica, when she walked into the nurses station.

“Hey.” They said in unision. Marissa grabbed a pen and a sheet attached to a clipboard and started to feel the sheet out.

“What are you doing, Mar?” Julie asked, sipping her water.

“I am…..releasing Aaron.” Marissa told her without no hesitation. Both Julie and Jessica whipped their head around and looked at her.

“What??”

Marissa raised her eyebrows, but kept her head down, “Did I studder?”

Julie put her water down, “I’m sorry, Mar but I don’t think he is well enough to go home yet.”

“Julie, he wants to go home. And he’s not going to his home, he’s going home with me. Which reminds me to tell Kim to give me a vacation. I don’t know for how long it will be. Just long enough for Aaron to get better. I know it’s short notice and that she’ll be pissed but hey that’s her problem. I’ll be on call if any of you truly truly need me. If it’s absolutely mandatory. If you need someone to work for you, call some else.” Marissa told Juile.

“I’m pretty sure Kim will understand. I’ll talk to her for you.” Marissa nodded.

“I’m going to go get Aarons things together, give him a bath and have Gail cut his hair later. He’ll be released first thing in the morning tomorrow.” Julie nodded, grabbing the phone to call their boss, Kim. Marissa squeezed Jessica’s shoulders, “Are you ready to do this?”

Jessica took a deep breath and shrugged, “As ready as I’m ever going to be.”

Marissa smiled, “We can do this. Every things going to be fine.”

Jessica nodded, “I hope so.”

“Don’t worry. “ Marissa winked at her and made her way back to Aaron’s room, thinking if this is the best way to help him.

Chapter 7   FATAL REALITY 

Marissa pulled her white SUV into the winding driveway in front of her house. She took off her seat belt and removed her keys from the ignition.

“Get Aarons bags please.” Marissa told Jessica. Jessica nodded and stepped out of the car. She grabbed his bags and continued on into the house. Marissa opened the door on Aarons side. She smiled to herself. Aaron rested his head comfortably on the back of the seat, his eyes closed. Marissa ran her fingertips over his baby soft face. Aaron opened his eyes lazily and gazed up at her.

“We’re here.” Marissa smiled, putting her arm underneath his. She snapped off his seatbelt and helped him out of the car. Aaron slid his arm around her waist and held on tightly. She led him slowly up the steps and into the house.

“Are you tired, sweetie? You want to take a nap before dinner?” Aaron didn’t say anything. His answer was just a nod of his head.

“Okay.” Marissa smiled and led him to the room that was now his. She pulled back the covers and laid him down, pulling the covers up to his chin, “It feels nice to sleep in a real bed, other than a hospital bed huh?”

Aaron blinked, “Mhmm.” He sighed and snuggled deeper into the covers. Marissa chuckled and kissed his forehead, before heading out of the room.

*******

Marissa dragged herself into the kitchen and flopped down at the bar. She groaned, letting her head fall into the counter. Jessica who was in the kitchen at the time, sensed her aunts worries. She poured her a cold glass of lemonade and slid it over to her. Marissa lifted up her head, feeling the coldness of the drink that was by her head.

“Thank you.” She took the drink in her hand and took a little sip.

“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked putting her arm around Marissa’s shoulders. She sighed heavily and laid her head back down.

“I just remembered something….”

“What?”

“Jack….is going to kill me.”

**

Meanwhile back at the hospital, Jack sat at the front desk doing paper work. He laid down his pen and leaned back in his chair, stretching.

“Coleman.” Jack called to Dr. Keith Coleman. Keith looked up from his paperwork and peered at him over the rim of his glasses.

“Yeah Jack?”

“I need you to fetch Marissa for me. I’m a little busy at the moment.” Jack told him. Keith raised an eyebrow. ‘And I’m not?’ Keith thought to himself. Keith never really liked Jack and who even does? He’s too demanding, and he treats Marissa like shit. All that Keith thought was that Marissa deserved a hell of a lot better. Julie walked over then and stood by the counter.

“Never mind, Julie can do it.” Jack said before Keith could say anything.

Julie narrowed her eyes, “I can do what?”

“Go get Marissa for me.”

“What for?”

Jack sighed heavily and glanced at her, “Because I need to talk to her.” He said, bitterly. Julie shifted, avoiding eye contact.

“If you want to talk to her call her. She’s at home.” Julie told him. It was Jacks turn to narrow his eyes this time

“Why the hell is she at home? Marissa doesn’t get a day off unless she’s in her death bed!”

Julie sighed, “She’s taking a vacation, Jack.”

Jack started to see red. He slammed down his clipboard and stood up, “Vacation?! There is no vacation for her. She devoted her time to that….damn Carter kid! She’s supposed to be taking care of him!”

“Jack, she is.” Julie said, calmly.

“Oh yeah, then were is she?”

“Aaron’s with her. She released him this morning.”

Jack shook his head, “Yeah well, if she thinks she’s going to take care of that traumatized suicidal son of a bitch in my home, she has something else coming.” He hissed. Julie and Keith kept their mouth shut after that. They were hoping that Jack would just drop it, if they didn’t say anything. Julies heart leaped into her throat when she saw Jack looking at her.

“He’s at the house isn’t he?”

Julie bit her lip, “Where is he supposed to go?” Julie could have cowered away from him in a split second if her legs would move. The look in Jacks eyes scared the shit out of her. He looked like he was getting ready to have an aneurism. His face was as red as a tomato.

“DR. COLEMAN, DR MILLER TO TRAUMA ROOM ONE NOW!! DR COLEMAN, DR MILLER TO TRAUMA ROOM ONE!!!” A loud voice called over the intercom. Julie raised her eyebrows at Jack and quickly departed before he could protest. Keith sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Duty calls Doctor.” Keith grinned and jogged down to Trauma room one. Jack slammed his fist on the counter in complete anger.

“Goddammit.” He gritted through his teeth and jogged after Keith. Keith was right though….duty calls. Jack decided he would deal with Marissa when he got home, no matter what the time was.

Jessica opened the door to Aarons room. She peeked inside and gazed upon Aarons sleeping figure. She took a step back when Aaron suddenly shifted, rolling onto his back. She smiled to herself, as Aaron slowly opened his eyes. He lifted up his head and looked at her.

“Hey.” She managed to say, despite the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

“Hi…..” Aaron whispered, pulling the covers down just a tad. Jessica let out the breath she was holding. She bit her lip and quietly stepped into the room. She made sure the door was open just ajar, before she moved nervously toward him.

“You can relax, Jess.” Aaron chuckled. Jessica jumped at the sound of his voice. She sighed in relief and sat down on the bed beside him.

“Just making sure….”

Aaron silently nodded, “I’m so sorry about that.” Jessica smiled and took his hand in hers.

“Don’t be. It’s completely understandable.” Aaron nodded sadly and turned his face away from her. Jessica leaned down and kissed his cheek sweetly, “Dinner ready.” She whispered in his ear.

“K…” He turned back around and scooted closer to her. Feeling the warmness of her body made him feel a tad bit safer.

“I’m hungry.”

“Then lets go get some grub shall we.” Jessica laughed, grabbing his arm and helped him out of bed.

*******

Meanwhile downstairs, Marissa hummed to herself as she put the food on the table for dinner. She gasped in delight when she saw Jessica and Aaron enter the dining room. She walked up to Aaron and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“You came. I was expecting you not to come down.”

“I’m hungry…” Aaron mumbled into her shoulder. Marissa laughed, pulling away from their hug.

“You can sit right here.” She said, patting the seat next to her, to her left. Aaron sat down in the chair, next to her. He glanced up at Jessica who was sitting across from him. Jessica smiled at him. He looked down at his hands and to his surprise his lips formed into a small smile

****

During dinner, the conversations were light. Aaron ate only his baked potato and hesitated on everything else. Marissa stood up and wrapped her arms around Aarons neck.

“Is that all you’re going to eat?”

“Mhm.” He answered. Marissa kissed his cheek.

“It’ll get better, baby. At least you’re not shut in like you were in that hell hole. I didn’t have the authority to release you when your injures were healed. Hell, I still don’t and I guarantee you I’m not going to hear the end of it.” Marissa chuckled a bit, “TV’s free if you want to join Jess in the living room. I’ll clean up here.” Aaron nodded, standing up slowly. He then took Jessica’s out stretched hand and walked into the living room with her. Once they were seated, Aaron immediately moved to the far side of the couch away from her. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried himself deeper into his hoodie. Jessica felt worthless. How can she try to help him if he won’t even look at her? She knew that he knew she wasn’t Christy. Jessica wished that he can look at her and actually see her and nobody else.

“So…what do you want to watch?” Jessica whispered, watching him shrug his shoulders. She licked her lips and began flipping through channels. She stepped on one of the channels to find that ‘White Chicks’ is on. Jessica smiled to herself thinking a comedy would make him feel better.

“How bout White Chicks?”

“This is fine.” Aaron whispered. Jessica nodded to herself and put the remote down on the table beside the couch. She stood up and grabbed a blanket that was hanging over the love seat. She gently placed it over Aaron. She sat down next to him and took his hand tightly. Aaron didn’t pull away nor did he hold her hand back.

*******

Later that night, Marissa sat silently at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear the front door open and then slam shut. Her heart leaped into her throat when Jack suddenly charged into the kitchen, slamming his brief case on the counter and got into her face. Marissa shrunk back in fear and confusion.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” He hissed, his eyes blaring with pure anger. Marissa swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like she couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Jack forced himself away from her, yanking his jacket off.

“Tell me one good reason why you want to help Aaron, Marissa.”

Marissa narrowed her eyes, “Why not?”

Jacks eyes flickered and he suddenly started to laugh, “Why not?” Then his smile faded, “Why not?! He’s not even your kid!! He’s not our son! Our son is Jerry! We’re supposed to be taking care of Jerry, not him!” Marissa’s eyes started to water. The pain the lump in her throat was giving her gave her even more pain.

“Jerry’s dead, Jack.” She managed to say, only in a quiet whisper……

********

Jerking out of his deep slumber, Aaron tiredly opened his eyes and looked around the dark room. Realizing he was leaning into Jessica, with her arms wrapped around him, he quickly moved out of her hold, careful not to wake her. He sat back and stared upon her face. Her chest rose up and down at a steady pace. Aaron swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the tears that he can feel start to form. He wanted to stop doing this. Every time he looks a Jessica, he see Christy. Deep down he wanted to see Jessica, but his mind was telling him that wouldn’t happen. Voice suddenly snapped him, out of his thoughts. Throwing the blanket over Jessica, he stood up and walked toward the kitchen where the angry voice was coming from. Seeing Jack yelling angrily at Marissa, he stayed hidden behind the wall and listened.

“……he’s not even your kid!! He’s not our son! Our son is Jerry! We’re supposed to be taking care of Jerry, not him!”

“Jerry’s dead, Jack.”

“That is my God Damn point! Stop trying to replace him!”

Marissa’s face fell, “Excuse me?!” She stood up angrily, “How dare you excuse me of such a thing! I could never ever replace Jerry!”

Jack laughed bitterly, “Seems like your doing a damn good job right now.” Marissa ran her shaky hands through her hair, tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Christ Jack…..I loved Jerry with every fiber of my body. How can I even think about replacing him. He’s irreplaceable….” She sobbed. Jack shook his head, his hands on his hips, “Jack I became a nurse because so I can save peoples lives. It’s the same reason why you became a doctor. To try to save a life. Please let me save him.” She pleaded. Jack sighed and turned to her.

“Marissa stop lying to yourself. You don’t want to except the face that Aaron survived that plane crash and Jerry didn’t. You look at Aaron and you see him as Jerry.”

Marissa shook her head, “No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.” Jack said quietly. Marissa let her face fall into her hands, as she continued to cry.

“Answer this question for me. If both Aaron and Jerry would have survived, who would you chose?”

“That’s not fair….”

“Answer the question.” He interrupted. Marissa took a deep breath and crossed her arms tightly across her chest.

“Jerry.” She answered.

Jack nodded, “Would you even think about trying to save Aaron also?”

Marissa didn’t hesitate, “Yes.”

Jack raised his eyebrows, “You would? As hard as you’re trying right now?”

Marissa cried harder, “Okay, you can stop now.”

“Why? Because you know I’m right?”

Marissa then glared at him, “You’re not right and I’m going to prove it.”

***

Back in the hallway, Aaron has had enough. He quietly sprinted upstairs. He jumped on his bed and started to cry, “Jack’s right. He’s right.”

*

Jack stared at her for a long time before finally answering, “Be my guest. But you’re on your own. Expect me not to be around very much. As a matter of fact make that not at all.” He said calmly.

Marissa’s eyes widened, “What do you mean?”

Jack sighed softly, “I feel like I’m living a life I didn’t agree to.” He gently grabbed both sides of her face and placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then walked back out of the door. Marissa sinked back into her chair, choking back sobs. She cried until no more tears would come. Her head suddenly snapped up off the table when she remembered Aaron and Jessica. She flew into the living room, praying they didn’t hear the conversation. Jessica was the only one there, sound asleep.

“Jessica wake up.” She whispered shaking her. Jessica jerked upright startled.

“Aunt Mar, what is it??”

“Where’s Aaron?” Marissa panicked.

“Um….” Jessica looked down and realized the blanket that she used to cover Aaron up with, was now covering her and that Aaron wasn’t there. Jessica blinked but stayed silent. Marissa turned and ran up the stairs and flew Aarons door open. She stopped short when she found Aaron laying on top of his blanket, fully clothed, his eyes closed. She fell against the door and held on tightly. Fresh new tears stung her eyes. After awhile of staring upon him she finally walked out of the room, unaware Aarons eyes opened as soon as the door closed.