Yours and Yours Alone by 2liveis2luv
Summary: photobucket
Kevin and Cass live the perfect Fairytale life, but what happens when Kevin's plane crashes? Can Cass live without the love of her life? Follow the love story of Kevin and Cass and their friends!
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Group, Kevin
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Sexual Content
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes Word count: 92233 Read: 30293 Published: 04/03/08 Updated: 04/03/08
Story Notes:
I hope that this story touches your heart the way it touched mine. I'm only heartbroken as the sequel is now lost forever as the disc I saved it to has been erased, and the site it was originally posted on has gone from exsistance.....so please know that there is so much more to this story, but please enjoy this one.....

1. Chapter 1 by 2liveis2luv

2. Chapter 2 by 2liveis2luv

3. Chapter 3 by 2liveis2luv

4. Chapter 4 by 2liveis2luv

5. Chapter 5 by 2liveis2luv

6. Chapter 6 by 2liveis2luv

7. Chapter 7 by 2liveis2luv

8. Chapter 8 by 2liveis2luv

9. Chapter 9 by 2liveis2luv

10. Chapter 10 by 2liveis2luv

11. Chapter 11 by 2liveis2luv

12. Chapter 12 by 2liveis2luv

13. Chapter 13 by 2liveis2luv

14. Chapter 14 by 2liveis2luv

15. Chapter 15 by 2liveis2luv

16. Chapter 16 by 2liveis2luv

17. Chapter 17 by 2liveis2luv

18. Chapter 18 by 2liveis2luv

19. Chapter 19 by 2liveis2luv

20. Chapter 20 by 2liveis2luv

21. Chapter 21 by 2liveis2luv

22. Chapter 22 by 2liveis2luv

23. Chapter 23 by 2liveis2luv

24. Chapter 24 by 2liveis2luv

Chapter 1 by 2liveis2luv
February 12, 2009

An MTV camera crew has been set up inside one of the private boardrooms at St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington, KY. Sarah Campbell is so apprehensive and saddened by the topic of the interview she is about to hold. She has been granted the sole rights to the story, but she knows it's not a story that will bring joy to anyone, however it must be told.........

"We are here today at St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington, Kentucky, where we are awaiting the 4 remaining member's of the Backstreet Boys and Cassidy Richardson, wife of Kevin Richardson." camera cuts to table set up with microphones and 5 empty chairs.

"Ok boys, they should be here any minute, let's make sure that we have tissues on the tables along with bottles of water and juice. Hey, Jim!! Make sure that there is plenty of video tape for this, Cassidy said that she would give us all the details and I don't want to miss a thing." Sarah sat down in the chair in front of the long table and closed her eyes. "How do you break this kind of story, I mean, what will all the fans say, what will they do, oh GOD, and those poor kids..." She began to remember the phone call she had received from Cassidy Richardson. Cassidy and Kevin had been married now for 8 years. They seemed liked the perfect couple, everyone wanted to be them. Cassidy adored Kevin; you could see it in her eyes every time she looked at her husband. Kevin had once declared on MTV that he thought the sun rose and set in Cassidy's eyes. They were meant to be together from the very beginning.



2 DAYS PRIOR:

"Sarah?" a shaky voice silently spoke thru the phone receiver.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Sarah, this is Cassidy, Cassidy Richardson. (A long pause), I need to speak with you, do you have a few minutes?"

Sarah and Cassidy had become friends after her and Kevin's wedding; Kevin and Cass had always agreed that if ever they needed the press to know something then Sarah would be the one to break the news for them. They trusted her and she had always held their privacy in the highest regards.

"Sure, Cass, what's up?" "Let me guess, there's a new little Richardson on the way and you need me to make the big announcement?" Sarah heard Cass begin to cry.

"Oh God, Sarah, how I wish that was true, I need your help in releasing a statement, but it's not a happy occasion, Sarah, Kevin's gone." At those words Cass's tears became heavy sobs.

"Oh my God, Cass, please talk to me what do you mean that Kev's gone, gone where? Are you two splitting up? Talk to me what's happening?" The fear in Sarah's voice rising with each new question.

As Cass began to explain to Sarah what was the matter, the tears began to fall from Sarah's eyes. "Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, sure, I'll fly out tomorrow and will meet up with you and the guys at your house, we'll make all the arrangements and get this out. I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do, do you need anything", "Thanks Sarah, no there is nothing anyone can do, I trust you with helping put this out there gently, right now the only thing I need is Kevin...." Sarah heard the phone fall.

"Hey, Sar, it's Brian, look Cass can't talk right, now, but call me and let me what time your flight arrives and we'll pick you up, ok. Hey, Sarah, thanks for everything."



Sarah hung up the phone with Brian and began to race around the room, grabbing her suitcase she began to frantically pack; she called her boss at MTV and made all the arrangements. As she finished she sat down and began to cry. "This can't be happening, oh God, Kevin why? What are we going to do now?" Sleep overtook Sarah, she would never be prepared for what she was about to face, but somehow, she was going to help Cassidy through this, she just had to.

A sound startled Sarah; she looked in time to see AJ heading her way. "Hey Aje, how's it going".

"Hey Sar, well, would rather be anywhere but here. Ya know I thought that when the guys held that press conference for me announcing my rehab that, that would be the worst thing the group would ever have to do." As the tears began to fill his eyes "God, I never thought we would do this." We turned and saw Nick and Howie coming in the room. Hugs and greeting were exchanged and the boys took their spots at the table, now all we were waiting on was Cass and Brian. The door opened and both of them appeared. Cass was leaning on Brian. Sarah new that this was not what Cass wanted, but she knew that if she didn't go ahead and get this out of the way, there would be too many questions to answer for later. Kevin was too centered in the public eye and everyone would wander why Cass felt she had to hide, but Sarah knew that Cass was not as strong as she was trying to be and if she could she would run and hide from it all, but Kevin would want it this way, and she always made sure that what Kevin wanted he got.

"Hey, honey, how are you?" Sarah hugged Cass as she got to the table. The sobs were soft, but Sarah could feel them as they shook Cass's body.

"I'm hanging in there, it's so hard, I never thought it would come to this? I mean Kevin and I had our whole lives planned out, even up until the days when we would be old and gray rocking on the front porch of the Cabin watching the sunset over the river......" her voice trailed off"Hey Sarah.." Brian leaned in for a hug. "She'll be ok, she really wants to tell this story and she says that she's going to tell all, it's a promise she made to Kev. So the guys and I are here to make sure that she has all our support and strength to get through this. Thanks so much for all your help." He turned back to Cass.

"Hey cuz, you ready to take a seat?" Cass just nodded and allowed Brian to lead her to the chair in the middle of the table. They sat in a row, the five of them. Saddness feeling all of their eyes, Howie was on the end to the right of Cass and AJ sat next to her. Brian sat to her left and Nick beside Brian.

"Ok, so Cass, I'm going to ask you to make the announcement and then I will lead with the questions you faxed to me, Ok. Everyone Ready?" Sarah knew they weren't but it couldn't be put off any longer.

"Good Morning, I'm Sarah Campbell, reporting live from St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington Kentucky. I am here today with 4 member of the Backstreet Boys and wife of Kevin Richardson." The camera panned around showing everyone at the table. "I was contacted late yesterday by Cassidy Richardson asking that she be allowed to make and announcement and answer some questions of us today. Cassidy, if you would."

" Thank you Sarah. Brian?" Cassidy turned to her left where Brian sat; she knew she had to be strong, so many were counting on her. Kevin needed her to do this and she was not going to let him down. She knew how much Kevin loved his fans and this was something that had to be done, they deserved it.

"I will begin with a statement from the Richardson and Backstreet Family." Brian began; tears began to fill Cass's eyes.

"It is with deepest sadness that we are here today to announce the passing of Kevin Scott Richardson. On January 30, 2009 the plane being piloted by Mr. Richardson went down near the Cumberland Mountains, on the Eastern Edges of Kentucky. Mr. Richardson was the only passenger in the plane. Search and rescue crews have searched the area and have found no sign of survival. Mr. Richardson leaves behind a wife Cassidy, a daughter Alexandria and a son William, as well as his mother, brothers and the 4 members of the Backstreet Boys whom he considered his family. We ask that the fans respect the privacy of the family and allow them time to grieve. A memorial website will be set up by Jive Records for anyone wishing to extend their sympathy to the family. Kevin loved all of his fans and will be truly missed. Thank You." Brian folded the piece of paper and placed it in front of him as he took Cass's hand in his. You could see the tears in everyone's eyes as the room became silent.

"Cass, have arrangement's been made".

"Yes, we will be holding a private ceremony in Kentucky on February 14, with the burial to be attended by immediate family members only. This was Kevin's wishes and I will make sure that he get's what he wanted." Cass's hands trembled as she spoke.

"May we advise any fans or well wishers where to send their condolences?" Sarah continued with the list of questions Cass had faxed her.

"As stated in the statement, there will be a memorial website set up, we ask that in lieu of flowers or any remembrances that contributions would be given to the numerous charities that Kevin and the boys have supported over the years. Kevin would want this to help others."

"What is the future of BSB now?" asked Sarah

"BSB will continue on, Kevin would not like it if we let this stop us. This is not what we have worked for and he would want us to go on. In Kevin's own words, " Life goes on as it never ends...." We however do wish to announce that we will not replace Kevin. He will forever be a Backstreet Boy and the 4 of us wish to remember him that way. From now on at every concert there will be one stool left empty to remember Kev by."

"Thank you AJ." Sarah ended the interview with pictures from the past tours and pictures of Kevin and his family.

Cassidy had decided that she wanted the world to know the love story that was behind Kev and Cass and so Sarah had planned to meet with Cass and all the boys the day after the funeral at the cabin.

Sarah set up the camera, this was going to be very candid, they would record everyone talking and hopefully would get a wonderful story out of it all, no questions, just memories.

"Oh Sarah, I'll never forget the first day I saw him." Cassidy was curled up in Kevin's recliner holding her favorite picture of him. "Those eyes, they mesmerized me from the first day. I remember sitting behind the counter in the restaurant and in came 3 of these guys. Kevin, Nick and Brian. They were laughing and cutting up. I had seen them in there before, but I was always busy so I didn't pay them much attention. Stephanie, one of our waitresses had called in sick so I was filling in for her." You could see her drifting off into the memory as she recalled the day they met.

"Hi, Can I get you guys something to drink" I said as I was getting out my order book and pen.

"Yeah, I'll have a glass of sweet tea" that deep southern drawl caught my attention.

"We'll have the same." Brian and Nick chorused. My eyes were drawn to that deep voice that first spoke.

"Sarah, I mean when I looked up and saw those eyes, I swear I didn't think I would be able to speak again, heck I didn't think I would move again. I mean, I don't believe in love at first sight or anything, but they were just beautiful and intense, and a little bit of mischief in there. I knew that I would like to spend time getting to know the owner of them"

"Ok, I'll be right back," I turned and headed back to the bar to get the drinks all the while talking to myself. "Have you ever seen eyes that color, no of course not, oh and that voice, who has a voice like that, I mean. It could just stop me dead in my tracks, could you just imagine waking up to that......stop it.........don't go there." I continued the conversation in my head as I got the drinks and headed back to their table. I kept asking myself " Why haven't I noticed him before? What was I doing all the other times he's come in here? Who did I think I was, he wouldn't notice me anyway...oh well..."

"Here ya go boys, are you ready to order?"

"We want a large pepperoni pizza and side of cheese bread".

"Ok, I'll be right back with that". I turned away. "About ten minuets passed and I took the boys their order. "Here ya go boys, anything I else I can get for you."

"Yeah, how bout another chair so you can sit down and talk to us". Nick was definitely not the shy type.

"Sure," I grabbed a chair from behind us.

"So what's your name." Again Nick with the questions. Cassidy glanced over at Nick sitting on the sofa.

"Cassidy, Cassidy Nicholson, and who might I ask am I pleasuring with my company today?"

"I'm Nick, this hear is b-rok, I mean Brian and that there, that's Kevin." We all exchanged our hellos.

"So Cassidy, what do you do for fun in this town" Kevin asked.

" Well, mostly I'm here. My dad owns this place and after my mom died I started helping out my dad so that we could keep the place open. I keep the books and do the ordering and as you can see fill in when someone's out. I don't get a lot of time to go out, but I like to go to The Hard Rock Cafe at CityWalk. You guys ever been there?" Ok, so call me stupid, I knew they looked familiar but it didn't click right away.

"OH, we know the place" Nick spit his drink out laughing.

"So Cassidy, what types of music are you into" there was that voice again.

"I like all kinds of music, I mean, as long as it has a good beat and a story to tell, I like it. How bout you?"

Nick and Brian were about to roll out of their chairs, I couldn't figure out what was so funny. I mean, I didn't think that it was a stupid question.

"Oh, I'm the same, I like all different types of music." He responded. Right about then a song came on the jukebox. I began to hum along not even caring that they were sitting there. "Quit playing games with my heart...." The three of them just looked at me like I had lost my mind. "What? Is my singing that bad?"

All three of them burst out laughing. God I felt like such an idiot, was I that bad, I mean I never claimed to be Madonna or anything, but I didn't realize.

"Do you know who sings that song?" Brian asked

"Yeah, some new group, I like their music, but I'm not really sure who they are, I mean I love music and songs but I just don't have time to keep up with the people behind them? Why should I know them?"

Again laughter filled the air. His eyes began to sparkle as he laughed, it just intrigued me more.

All at once the three of them started to sing.

"I live my life...the way

To keep you comin' back to me

Everything I do...is for you

So what is it that you can't see?

Sometimes I wish I could...turn back time

Impossible as it may seem

But I wish I could...so bad

Baby...you betta"

Before they could get to the chorus I realized what fool I had been, I knew they were familiar I just didn't put two and two together. I was so embarrassed.

I got up and began to walk away from the table. " I'm sorry, I need to get back to work" I turned my head so they wouldn't see that I was blushing. Kevin reached out and grabbed my hand. The electricity that ran through my body with just his touch, I lost my breath. "Hey, it's cool, it's kinda nice not to be recognized and just be ourselves." His voice was reassuring. "Well, I really need to get back to work. Look I think you guys are great and I have a blast not to mention that I can now go crawl into a dark hole never to be seen again. I love your music, but I don't have time to be obsessed as I have seen some of your fans can be. I hope that you will come back and visit soon."

"Cass," Kevin stood up,

"OMG, how tall is he". I was trying to not visibly shake as I stood in front of him. I'm only 5'6.

"Look, I don't know about these two dorks, but I've had fun. It's so hard for us to go out and just be able to let loose and be ourselves, so thank you. I was just wandering, If you weren't doing anything this evening, maybe you could join us at the Hard Rock. We have to be there for a friend's birthday party and well, I would love a chance to get to know you better?" The look in his eyes told me not to say yes, but my head was saying I better run while I could.

"Ok, that would be great, what time?"

"Can I just pick you up, if you don't mind, I hate walking into places by myself, B-rok here will have his lady love Leighanne on his arm and Nicky boy well, I guess it will be the flavor of the week for him. So what'da ya say?"

"Well, ok, I guess, here's my number, call me later this afternoon and we'll talk about what time you'll pick me up."

"Ok, can't wait"

I watched as they headed out the door, still laughing and having fun. But the memories of looking into those green eyes just consumed my every thought. I sank back into the booth and took the breath I hadn't realized that I had been holding.

I began to clear the table and walked to the bar to start getting ready to shut down for the evening. I was so excited. I wanted to call my best friend Lisa, but I thought it would be best to wait and see how the evening panned out. I mean, what if he decided I was a big dork or I turned out to be just his "Flavor of the Week"

I heard my cell begin to ring; I didn't bother to look at the caller ID.

"Yeah, you got me, what'cha need" I answered.

"Well, I was hoping that I could still have that date tonight" he began to laugh.

OMG I did it again. He really was going to think I was a dork.

"Oh, Kevin, I'm sorry, got my mind on other things. Sorry, Yeah, sure I'm looking forward to it, by the way, I don't want to over or under dress what are you going to be wearing."

"I thought I would wear black slacks, a grey sweater. Just kinda dressy casual. That sound Ok to you?"

Who was he asking? My favorite outfits were blue jeans and a t-shirt. Oh lord, what had I gotten myself into?

"Yeah, that sounds great, I'll see what I have that will match. So what time do you want me to meet you there?"

"Whoa, who said anything about you meeting me there, I want to pick you up. I thought you were going to be my date?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know if you wanted to do that or not, I'm not very good at this, I don't date a lot, I'm always so busy. Ok, So what time you wanna pick me up? "

"7:00" sound ok to you, I thought we could go to dinner and then head over to the party, all the fellows won't be there until about 9 or so. Sound Good?"
"Sure, that sound's great, so I'll see ya at 7:00, oh and Kevin, thanks for not making me feel like to big of a dork today, I really do love you guys and I really do own your albums, I guess I should learn to pay more attention to the cover not just the lyrics. Hehehe."

"I like your laugh, that's ok, like I said earlier, it's nice just to be able to relax and be ourselves. I mean everywhere we go there are women and girls throwing themselves at us, and we never know if their just interested in a BSB or not. Don't get me wrong we love the fans, but we need a personal life too, and dating a fan is real hard since we're never sure if their there for us or the show. Anyway it's 6 now so hopefully you can be ready in an hours?"

I gave him directions to my house and headed out the door, what was I going to wear, how do I wear my hair, what was I going to say. "Oh God, please don't let me screw this up!!!"

I heard the doorbell ring and looked at the clock. 7 o'clock on the dot. Well he's precise was my first thought. I had decided to wear black slacks as well with black strappy sandals. I had an emerald green sweater that fell off the shoulder and thought that would be a nice match. My hair was straight down my back and had a silver rhinestone clip loosely holding the sides up with small strands cupping my face.

"Hi, I said opening the door" If I had know what was on the other side I would have taken a deeper breath before opening it. "Hi" he said handing me a single white rose. God was he gorgeous. The black slacks hung to his every curve and accentuated his waist perfectly. The sweater was grey and tight and molded to the muscles on his arms and chest, and accented his eyes to a brighter green. The scent of his cologne was making my whole body tingle.

"Wow, you look great" He smiled.

"Uh, Ya wanna come in for a minute or do we need to leave" I asked.

"Sure I'd love to." He stepped through the door our bodies barley brushing against each other. Oh, there was that tingle again. The one that made my heart stop. He walked over and sat in the recliner.

I sat on the sofa next to him.

"Thanks for the rose, how'd you know that I loved white roses"

"Oh your welcome, I didn't, I just thought it looked perfect and innocent, the way you were today at the restaurant. Just seemed to fit you"

"Thanks, I think" we both laughed.

"So where are we heading for dinner?"

"I have reservations at Emeril's at 7:30 if that's ok with you?"

"Oh, I love that place, I went there last year for my birthday, not somewhere I frequent but I do love it"

"Cool, well we better get moving if we don't want to be late."

"Ok, I said standing, I reached over and turned on the lamp and we walked to the door, he opened the door and let me go first "OH a gentleman, boy I must have done something right" I giggled. He opened the car door and we headed off to the restaurant. He had Boyz II Men on in the CD player and "On Bended Knee" was playing, I quietly sang along. "I love this song", " you have a nice voice" "NO I don't I said, I just like to sing so I do it for my enjoyment, but not like you and the other boys, now those are some voices." We carried on simple conversation until we got to the restaurant.

"Mr. Richardson, right this way, your table is ready" we were ushered back to a table in the back. It was set so nicely with candles and out of the way so we wouldn't be disturbed. We had so much fun just talking and laughing. I couldn't believe how much we had in common or how easy he was to talk to. When he laughed I just melted. It was so relaxing and fun just to get to know him. Even if this was the last time I saw him I knew that I had been blessed, just to have one night with him.

We left for the Hard Rock and got there about 9:15. We made our way upstairs to the private rooms. Nick was the first to see us and he came over and hugged me. "Glad you could make it, Kev hasn't stopped talking about you since we left the restaurant this afternoon" the slap to the back of Nick's head did not go unnoticed; I reached up and hugged him. "Thanks for the info, just so you know I haven't stopped thinking about him either." I whispered in his ear before breaking from the hug. "I knew I liked you for some reason" he said " By the way, this is Susie, she's a friend of mine." Nick said with a wink. About that time Brian and Leighanne had arrived. "Hey, Cuz." He said shaking hands with Kevin. "Hey, Cass, good to see you again" " You too Brian, and this must be Leighanne, what was it Kevin said, your lady love." Brian blushed. "Hi, nice to meet you, I can tell we will get along great" she laughed. I suddenly became aware of Kevin's stong hand placed gently on the small of my back; it was a comforting feeling, like I knew I was safe with him there.

"Sweet D", Brian was looking at someone walking towards us.

"Cass, this is Howie, otherwise known as Sweet D". Brian introduced us.

"Hi, nice to meet you" as I held my hand out for him.

"My pleasure" he said as he took my hand and kissed it.

"Hey, now, there will be none of that" I heard Kevin say with a chuckle in his voice.

"Hands off she's mine" I looked up just in time to catch the grin spreading across Kevin's face.

"Ok, yes sir" said Howie as he saluted Kevin.

"Anyhow, has anyone seen or heard from the birthday boy" Howie began to ask.

"YYAAAAAHAHAHAHA"...We heard the scream coming from across the room.

AJ, I knew. How could you forget that sweet, wild and crazy guy? I mean I knew who the other guys were but something about AJ and that scream at the beginning of LARGER THAN LIFE.

"Hey bone", Kevin was the first to speak. "How's the birthday boy".

"Man, Kevin, Birthday Man, ain't nothing about me a boy" he began to laugh.

"So who's this pretty lady you got with you Train?"

"Train?" I thought to myself, I would definitely have to get to the bottom of that nickname.

"Aje, this is Cass..."

"You don't mind if I call you Cass do you?" he looked at me.

"No, usually I don't but It's ok if you call me that".

"Aje, this is Cass, Cass this is AJ McLean, the "BIRTHDAY MAN". Kevin tried to hide the smile.

"It's nice to meet you AJ. Happy Birthday" as I reached out my hand AJ grabbed me and started pulling me to the dance floor.

"Back in a few, I wanna dance".

I looked back to see Kevin

"Whoa there bone, I said she's mine"

"Yeah, but it's my birthday and their playing my song and I wanna dance. You don't mind Cass, do you?"

Those beautiful brown eyes pleading.

"It's ok Kevin, I don't mind if you don't?"

"Well, ok I guess, but I get the first slow dance, promise?"

"Sure," I was yanked away before I could finish.

AJ was true to his word, one dance and was off to find his next conquest.

"It's my party and I'll dance with everyone here" and he was gone.

"Hey Cass, you want something to drink" Kevin came up beside me and placed his hand on my back.

"That would be great, could you get me a diet coke?"
"Sure, I'll be right back".

"So Nick, what's the deal, is Kevin for real? Or to still his phrase from earlier today, am I his flavor of the week?"

"OH Cass, NO, Kev's not like that at all. Kevin doesn't do the casual thing; if he likes you then he spends time with you to get to know you better. He doesn't believe in love at first sight, but he does believe that there can be an instant connection between two people and if he feels that connection then he will take the time to pursue it and see where it goes. Kevin really liked you today when we first met. He said that there was something different about you and that he really wanted to spend sometime getting to know you."

"Oh, really?" "I mean, I really would like to get a chance to get to know him better as well, he's so nice and I don't know there's something about him to. I just feel like he's someone I could become best friends with, ya know a confidant?"

"Well, just know that Kevin never does anything spur of the moment and he can be a great friend, just relax and have fun, I mean all the guys think your great and we'd all like a chance to get to know you better, but I think Kevin would like to pursue a relationship if all goes well tonight, and yes we are having birthday cake tonight"

"What?"

"Here's your drink Cass." Kevin had returned

I knew why Nick had changed the subject so fast. I didn't know a lot about the boys, but one thing I did know was that Kevin was a very PERSONAL person and doesn't like his relationships discussed in public.

"Thanks Kev"

"No problem, ya wanna go sit down for a while?"

"Sure" Kevin led me to the booth at the back of the room, never taking his hand from my back until we slid into the booth.

"So, are you having fun?" He asked while taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh yeah, your friends are great, and AJ is just as crazy as I thought he would be. I could see him and I becoming good friends."

"That good, ya know Cass. I really like you, your different, not bad different, good different. Ya know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I like you too." Just then I TURN TO YOU by Christina Aguilera came on.

"You promised me a dance," I said smiling shyly at him.

"Well, then, I never break a promise, let's go darling"

As we made our way to the dance floor, I became very nervous, the thought of being wrapped in his arms was incredible. As I turned to face him his arms encircled my waist and pulled me to his body. I placed my hands around his neck and slowly he began to move us to the rhythm of the music. I could smell his cologne and felt the muscles of his chest pressing against me. We moved so sensually to the music. I could have died right there. God, this man was gorgeous and strong and gentle all at the same time. I laid my head against his chest and inhaled his scent. How can something so new be so comfortable?

"Cass?"

"Uh Huh" I asked lost in this daze from being so close to him.

"I really hope that you'll let me see you again after tonight?" he sounded almost scared to hear my response.

"And what Mr. Richardson, would make you think that I wouldn't want that as well?" I giggled.

"Well, with our schedule there will be a lot of times that we don't get to be together, but I want to be able to call or email you when I can. When I'm in town I would like to spend time with you so that I can learn more about you. Would you be ok with that? I mean, no serious commitment or anything, if you'd like to see someone else while I'm gone that's fine, I mean, can we just start as friends and see where that lead's?"

"Oh Kevin, I would love that" I looked up into those green eyes. "And just for the record, there is no one else that I would like to see, so if it's all the same to you, I would just rather spend my time getting to know you. I understand your busy schedule and the restaurant keeps me more than busy enough, I do have a computer at work that we could IM each other on and there's always the old faithful phone." "I don't know if or where this is headed, but I too would like to see more of you." His hand came up so his thumb could stroke my cheek.

"That would be great Cass. I don't do the chick in each town thing, so having someone to talk to would be great." As he finished his sentence the song also ended.

Before I knew what had happened he had bent down and gently brushed his lips to mine. Stars and explosions was all I could see. It was a good thing he had taken my hand to lead me back to the table or lord only knows where I would have ended up.
End Notes:
comments are much appreciated
Chapter 2 by 2liveis2luv
Over the next few months Kevin and I spent a lot of time on the phone and emailing each other. Every time I would see midnitetrain2ky@wildfly.com I could have died. I mean. Why had I been so lucky to have the attention of this man? What had I done to deserve such a wonderful man? We decided that when the guys were to perform in Atlanta I would fly out to see him. I scheduled my vacation and made all the arrangements. Kevin made sure I had my own room on the same floor as the guys.
"Cass, you all ready to come to the show" Kevin asked the night before I was to fly out.

"Yeah, I'm so excited, I haven't ever been to one of your concerts so this will be a lot of first in one weekend. I've never flown, nor have I stayed overnight without my dad near and to get to see you perform. I miss you and can't wait to see you, but I'm nervous too."

"Wow, you've never flown. That will be a treat for you. It's just become second nature to the guys and me. We travel on the bus when we can but sometimes we have to fly in and out in order to make it to the interviews and appearances prior to the concerts. Well, Leighanne said she would pick you up at the airport and bring you straight to the venue. You'll arrive about an hour before the show, so I'll already be there. We'll all be backstage when you get there so we'll have a little bit of time to spend together before the show. Did you get the package I sent you?"

"Yeah, already packed, the backstage pass is great."

"You and Leigh will sit in the pit right in front of the stage, when the shows over Jimmy will come get you two and bring you to the back. Don't leave your seats until he gets to you. I need to warn you it can be a little scary and overwhelming the first time, but I promise you that I will be there to protect you and keep you from anything. Ok?"

"Ok, I've seen from watching MTV how wild it can get at your shows so I sorta know what to expect, but Kevin, I really want to see you, so I'll take you however I can get it. I'm not scared of the hoopla surrounding you guys, I mean it's your job."

"Wow, I knew you were amazing. So, after the show we will go back to the hotel where the guys and I have a late dinner in the restaurant together. Does that sound ok to you?"

"Yeah, that sounds great" "Kev, I miss you." I said.

"I miss you to. I can't wait to get to hold you in my arms again. I know that we haven't known each other that long, but I really do care for you. Well, gotta go, sound check and then off to a radio interview. Cass, be careful and hurry up and get here."

"I can't wait to be in your arms again. I will be careful and go before the guys start yelling at ya. I'll see ya tomorrow night. Bye." I lay there on my bed thinking about what Kevin had just said. Could this be real? I mean it's only been 5 months since our first meeting. I knew that I was falling for Kevin, but could he, would he fall for me? Well, maybe we will have sometime to figure that out while I'm there this weekend.

I was so nervous about flying, but the thought of seeing Kevin helped calm that a lot.

"Cass, Over here" I heard Leighanne yelling.

"Hey Leigh" we hugged.

"So are you ready for tonight" Leigh was so pretty, I could tell that her and Brian was the real thing the moment I met, but now I knew why. She was so sweet and so easy to talk to.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to getting to see Kevin perform. I've seen clips of the show on MTV, but not much else."

"Wow, then you're in for a surprise. I still remember the first times I saw Bri perform. It was amazing, so much energy and passion in everything they do. I know that I'm partial, but they are so sexy on stage, and well, I know why people love them so much. They are so attentive to their fans."

"Leigh, Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure what's up?" We were in her car headed towards the arena.

"Leigh, do you think it's too soon for me to feel." I stopped.

"Feel what Cass? It's ok, you can talk to me, I promise what ever is said between you and I stay's there. I mean, If it's something that could hurt one of the boys, then I don't' think I could keep that from Bri, but ya know I need a friend too, someone that understands what it's like to have your man out there away from you so much. Cass, I'd really like it if we could become friends?"

"Oh Leigh, that would be great, I mean, I don't have anyone back at home that I can talk to about Kevin, all my friends are fans and one of them actually is mad at me cause she likes Kevin. I mean it's not like I tracked him down or anything, I just think that fate smiled my way. Ya know"

"Yeah, I do, I had a friend who thought that Brian really liked her and when she found out that we were in a relationship she ended our friendship. So, Do I think it's to early for what?"

"Well, do you think that it' would be too soon for me to think that I was falling in love with Kevin?"

"OMG!!!!" Leighanne swerved as she screamed.

"WHAT" I yelled.

"I knew it. I told Brian that I thought that you and Kevin were perfect for each other." "No, I don't think it's to soon. You and Kevin have spent more time getting to know each other over the phone and on the computer than most couples. I mean, most couples build their relationships on the feelings they have by being together, you and Kev have connected on such a more personal level. Cass, the heart doesn't lie, if you think that you're falling for Kevin then I say go for it. Bri says that Kev's always either on the phone with you or on the computer or fussing about not being on the phone or computer with you. He says that it's gotten to be a running joke with the other four that the first words out of Kev's mouth any more are "Cass says, or Cass did this or Cass, Cass, Cass. Bri thinks he's falling for you too."

"Oh God, Leigh. I can't believe how he makes me feel. I mean I feel so safe with him, like I could tell him anything and he would always be there. He kissed me the night before they left to go on tour and I thought that I had died and gone to heaven. I have never felt such emotions before."
"Well, that's Kev for you, he's a great friend to have, and not that I would know from experience or anything, but I've heard that he definitely knows how to take care of his lady." We laughed the rest of the way to the arena.

"Hey Jimmy" Leigh was talking to the guy next to the backstage entrance.

"Jimmy, this is Cass"
"You mean this is Kevin's Cass," they both laughed.

"Hi, nice to meet you Cass, Kevin's told me a lot about you"

"Hi, nice to meet you too. Same here. Kevin's told me that he would be lost without you."

"Well someone's gotta keep him straight. You two better get on in, I know that the fans will be getting here soon and it won't be long before they figure out where the backdoor is. Plus, I know one man who's dying to see a particular woman!"
"Oh Leigh, that's so sweet. Brian can't wait to see you." They both burst out laughing.

"What's so funny? I think it's sweet that Brian wants to see Leigh so bad. It's romantic."

Leigh grabbed my arm and started dragging me thru the door. I heard Jimmy yelling as the door closed.

"Yeah it's is romantic, but I was talking about Leigh and Bri. I'm talking about the other cousin."

"My face turned 3 shades of red as I realized what he was saying"

"Cass!!" I heard my name being yelled thorough the halls.

"Nick, hey how are you?" He came up and hugged my neck.

"Good and you? Does Kevin know your here yet?"

"No, I, We just got here?"

"Well hurry up and let him know you're here. He's being a big bully to the rest of us. Maybe you can get him under control or in a better mood?"

"Well Nick, I don't know? Maybe I should just go back to the hotel and wait, if he's in a bad mood, then I don't want to do anything that would upset him. I mean he has a show to do?" at the sound of my statement I heard that voice that had been saying goodnight to me for the last 5 months.

"If you leave, there won't be a show!" I felt his arms circle my waist and begin to turn me towards him.

"Hi you" he said, placing his forehead to mine.

"Hi yourself" I said. He leaned in a gently kissed my lips.

"I'm glad you're here. How was your flight?"

"It was good. It helped to picture your face when I got scared, just like you told me, "I promise you that I will be there to protect you" so I just kept saying that nothing could happen to me cause Kevin wouldn't let it and next thing I knew we were landing."

"That's my girl, you always remember that." He reached up and placed his hand on my face allowing his thumb to slowly stroke my cheek. "I'll always be here for you." I reached up to hug him and whispered in his ear.

"I'm glad I'm hear too."

We walked to the dressing room holding hands. There was something about the way he made me feel when we were together. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew that I liked it.



"Hey Guys," I said as we walked through the door to the dressing rooms.

"Hey girl" came the chorus from the guys.

We all sat around chatting.

"Boys, it's time to go" The stage manager stuck his head in the door. "You've got 5"

"Ok, this is it" Kevin stood and all the boys gathered in a circle. Leigh took my hand and led me into the circle with them, whispering in my ear. "They always have a group prayer before they go on, if the girlfriends are here they join them. It's ok, just take Kev's hand". When the prayers were over Kevin didn't let go of my hand but headed for the door. We silently walked to the under stage room where Kev and the boys would get on the elevators to come up through the stage.

"Remember now, stay put until Jimmy comes to get you. I'll try to make my way to your side of the stage from time to time. I don't know if I told you before or not, but I'm glad you're here. It means a lot to me."

He leaned down and kissed me. "Love ya" and he was gone.

"What!!! What had he just said?" I wasn't sure if I heard him right or not, I just stood there.

Leighanne finally grabbed my hand and let me to the pit. I was definitely going to have to find out if he meant to say that or not.

The show was incredible. Kevin kept his promise and would work his way to my side of the stage. Always winking or waving at me when he could, but Leigh was right, they played to their fans and the fans loved them. It was a mad house at the end but I remembered what Kevin had said and Leigh and I stayed put until Jimmy came to get us. We walked to the back towards the dressing room. You could here the guys talking. The excitement in their voices was contagious. Leigh and I walked into the room; Brian immediately grabbed her and started dancing her around. We all began to laugh. Kevin walked over to me and picked me up into a hug. "Thanks for being here. It made my night so much more special" he whispered in my ear before setting me back down. He went to the couch and motioned for me to follow. When I went to sit next to him he pulled me in his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I didn't mind one bit. The guys talked and carried on talking about everything from the articles of clothing thrown on the stage to the mix up in mic's.

We headed back to the hotel for dinner. Kevin held my hand every chance he got. I still couldn't stop thinking about what he had said earlier. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing, ya know with everything going on and the adrenaline pumping before the show. "Ok, Cass, don't read more into this. But what was it Nick said back the night of AJ's Party? "Well, just know that Kevin never does anything spur of the moment..." oh God, could it be possible. NO, I can't let my hopes get up. There are so many other things that we need to discuss before we can go to the next level in our relationship."

We stopped outside of my room. "Well, I'm going to run go get a shower and then we're all heading down to the private dinning room for dinner. I'll be like 20 minutes. OK?"

"Sure that's fine, I need to freshen up anyway." I slowly opened the door to my room stepping backwards towards the door. He grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss.

"Have I told you how glad I am that you're here?" His eyes we're sparkling.

"Yeah, but I don't mind hearing it again. By the way, it was a great show. You were amazing. Thank you for inviting me. Now go get a shower" I leaned up and kissed him on the lips.

"Ok, but I'll be back in 20, ok"

"Ok, now go" he walked away backwards like he didn't want to break eye contact. I slowly drifted into the room as I watched his door close behind him. I knew I was falling in love with him. Oh how I hoped he felt the same way.

"Punctual as usual" I said opening the door. Kevin was standing there in blue jeans a white wife beater t-shirt with a flannel shirt over it but not buttoned. He smelled so good.

"Hi to you to". He said stepping thru the doorway. The door shut and I suddenly got nervous.

" Umm. So," boy I was articulate.

"Umm, Cass. I was wandering?" his head tilted down, like he was nervous.

"What Kevin?"

" Well, I mean, this is the first time we've been alone in awhile and I was just wandering if ......If I could kiss you?" ok, no need to tell you that my knees went weak at that precise moment.

"I would like that very much Mr. Richardson" He started to step towards me. I had to keep reminding myself to not faint. He was standing only inches from me and his arms slowly circled my waist. He began to ease me towards him and his head slowly started lowering towards mine. I could smell his cologne. His eyes began to change color. They got a brighter green. My eyes closed as his lips came in contact with mine. Slowly and gently we stood there lost in that kiss. Shock waves of pleasure were racking my body. His left hand came up and intertwined in my hair holding me close as we began to explore each other's mouths. His right hand continued to hold me close. As he slowly separated from me, all I could do was lay my head on his chest. He had taken the very breath from me. OMG, I had never felt so many emotions at once. He stood there holding me while I regained my strength.

"Cass."

"Mmmmmm." I mumbled into his chest.

"Cass, I don't know if you heard me or not at the show, right before I went on stage" Oh no, was he going to retract that statement. I couldn't take it I could live with the fact that he said it, but if he took it back.

"Cass, I want you to know that the past 5 months have been so incredible for me. It's been so wonderful to have someone to share my feelings with, someone who would let me complain about the day I had but still be there for me to tell all the good things to as well. I mean. I've felt so alone out here and it's hard to get through the days. I know I have the guys, but having someone that I can share my personal feelings with. Someone that I could share my dreams with, someone I could give my heart to." I took a breath...

"Cass, I meant what I said. I'm falling in love with you. I know that you may not feel the same way and that's ok, but I wanted you to know that. I want you to know..."

"Kevin..."

"No Cass, let me finish. I want you to know that I will wait for you until forever. I don't want to see anyone else or go out with anyone else. It's you Cass. These past 5 months have been amazing. Honestly, I could see me spending the rest of my life with you." My head shot up to look in his eyes.

"Kevin. Let's sit down" we walked over to the sofa.

"Kevin, I don't know where to begin. When I first met you, I was like, WOW, I knew that you were going to be an amazing man and that if I was lucky I would get to spend some more time with you. The last few months have been so incredible. I have never felt emotions like this before. It's almost scary sometime."

"But Cass"
"No Boo, let me finish. It wonderful scary, I can't wait till our next phone call or chat session. I love hearing your voice and when you touch me. There are no words to describe it. Kevin you know that I haven't dated a lot and I'm not as experienced as you, but Kevin. I Love you too. I had a talk with Leigh today on our way to the arena and she told me to let my heart lead me. Well, Kevin here it is, I'm laying it on the line for you. I could see my self-spending the rest of my life with you too. I know that we need to spend more time together physically, but emotionally and mentally I already know what my heart wants. It wants to be with you."

"Oh Cass." His lips crashed down on mine. We stayed clinging to each other for what seemed like hours, both afraid that if we let go that moment would be lost. As he broke the kiss I rested my head on his chest.

"I love you Cassidy," he whispered into my hair.

"I love you too Boo".



We made our way to the dining room. It was decided that we wanted to be together now it was time to start making sure that everyone else knew that we were a couple.

"Well, Well, Well....." said AJ looking up from the table.

"Look what the cat drug in, We were about to send out a search party for the two of you; or at least send up dinner to the room" everyone laughed including Kevin and I. As we sat down the laughter continued through out the evening.

"So, Cass, what did take you so long to come down" asked Nick?

"Well..." I looked at Kevin. I wasn't sure if he was ready to go public with our personal life. His nod told me what to do.

"Well, Kev and I have decided" Leigh gasped. I started to laugh as the guys looked at her like she was crazy.

"We've decided that we want to be together and see where this relationship winds up. I hope you guys don't mind, but I'm going to be hanging around for a while." I turned to smile at Kevin as his arm circled around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.



"AAAAHHHH I knew it" Leighanne was bouncing up and down in her seat.

"See Brian I told you, I knew that they were meant to be together." She leaned over and hit Brian in the shoulder.

"Dang Leigh, you don't have to kill me here" everyone started laughing again as Brian rubbed his shoulder and made a pouty face.

"Congratulations" echoed around the table from all.

"Hey Cass, welcome to the BSB family" AJ leaned over and gave me a hug.

"I knew that we'd be friends," I whispered in his ear.

Around 2 am we all said our good nights and headed to our rooms.

Kevin walked me to mine and followed me in.

"It's been a great day," he said.

"Yeah, sure has. I mean I got to see the Backstreet Boys in Concert, what could be more wonderful than that?" I quickly cut my eyes to see his expression, before I burst out laughing.

"Oh, I can show you what would be better than that." Before I could move fast enough he had me pinned to the sofa tickling me.

"Please Kev, no more" I yelled between breaths. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to wet myself.

"Oh No, you don't get off that easy. I mean what is my ego to think that you had more fun watching the BSB perform tonight? Huh?" He continued tickling me.

"Please Boo," I pleaded in my most innocent tone.

"Oh Ok, how can I resist that face" He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. He gathered me up in his arms and we sat here just kissing and talking.

"Well, I guess I better get to bed. Long day tomorrow." He said pulling me to my feet.

"Oh yeah, and just what preytail may I ask do you have planned Mr. Richardson?" I giggled.

" Well I thought we could go to lunch and catch a movie. Then the guys and Leigh all want to go out to this nightclub downtown tonight. If that's ok with you?" He pulled me closer to him.

"Well, now are you asking me out on a date Mr. Richardson?"

" I think that I am Ms. Nicholson, would you like to accompany me tomorrow on a few adventures?" He accentuated the question with a quick kiss.

"Well, I need to check my date book. See I have this boyfriend and he might get a little jealous if I don't check with him first."

"Oh, I already spoke with him and he said that you should definitely take me up on this offer, in fact he insists."

"Does he now, Well, let me think?" he began to poke his lips out into a pout and give me puppy dog eyes.

"Oh well, how can I resist that face" I reached up to kiss him.

"Ok, we'll head out about 11:30 for lunch Ok."

"Sure" I walked him to the door. He stood there in the hallway for a minute then stepped back to me.

"Cass, I do love you darlin, and I can't wait to spend the day with you tomorrow." He leaned in and gave me a slow, sensual kiss. I began to melt. He slowly broke away and made a turn to go to his room.

"I love you too Boo". I watched him walk to his room and the door closed. As soon as my door closed I ran and dove on the bed. I had to call Lisa.

"OMG, he loves me. KEVIN SCOTT RICHARDSON LOVE ME, CASSIDY LYNN NICHOLSON." I wanted to shot it from the balcony. I called Lisa and we talked until 4 am. I drifted off to sleep thinking of one tall, dark haired green eyed, sexy voiced male that was in love with me.

We spent the next two days together just enjoying each other's company. I knew that I would be flying out on Sunday evening and he would be heading out on the Bus to North Carolina, but it didn't matter we loved each other and we knew we wanted to be together. We had decided that when he got back to Orlando at the end of April that we were going to spend a week together. I would take vacation from work and we would spend more time getting to know each other. He also asked me if I would fly to Kentucky with him for a few days to meet his family. We agreed that we would spend Sunday - Wednesday together in Orlando and fly out to Kentucky on Thursday morning and return to Orlando on Sunday. We had been together for over a year now and things were going great. I don't think I could have been any happier.

Kevin arrived and we spent the first few days together going to Disney and Universal studios. It was fun just being with him. I didn't know that just spending time with someone could mean so much.

We talked and laughed with each other. We shared our hopes and dreams for our future. I told Kevin how I had always dreamed of saving myself until I was married, that on my wedding night I wanted it to be my first time with the only man I would ever know this way. He told me he understood and respected my decision. He never did push for anything. I think that made me fall in love with him even more.

We left early Thursday morning for Kentucky. I was so nervous, what if his family didn't like me, what if his mom didn't like me. Kevin laid his hand on mine as the plane began to prepare for the landing in Lexington.

"She's going to love you darlin, just as much as I do"
Chapter 3 by 2liveis2luv
We sat in silence driving towards the farm. I was so scared of what Mrs. Richardson would think of me. I knew that Kev adored his mom and highly respected her opinions. I only hoped that she would like me enough of our relationship.
"You ok over there darlin'" He placed his hand over the top of mine.

"Yeah, I'm just a little nervous. I mean what if your family doesn't like me. What if I do or say something really stupid. Kev, I know how much your family means to you and I just want them to like me." I turned towards the window before he could see the tears welling up in my eyes. He slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road. My heart started to race.

"Hey, look here" he grabbed my face in his hands and slowly turned me towards him. I kept my eyes low so he couldn't see my tears.

"Hey, look at me" I slowly lifted my eyes towards him. His thumb slowly moved to wipe at the tears falling.

"Darlin, you know I love you right?" I just shook my head. "Look, all I know is that there is no way my family won't love you. All my mom has ever wanted was for me to find someone that will make me happy and love me. Baby, you do all those things. It's gonna take one look at my face and my mom's gonna know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Ok?"

"Oh boo, I love you too." I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his neck burying my head into his chest. "I'm just so scared, I love you so much and I want to be the one that's there with you in the good times and the bad. To help you see all your dreams come true, and comfort you when you need me. I want to be the shoulder that you cry on and the first person you want to tell your secrets too. But Kevin I love you enough to walk away to if it means that you could lose your family over me. I won't be the cause of that".

"You just wait and see, you'll feel like part of the family the minute you step into the house, and you let me be the one to decide if it's worth risk. Ok?"

"Ok" he wrapped me in a big hug, kissed me on the lips then set the car back in motion heading towards the farm.

I only hope he knows that I do love him enough to walk away if his family doesn't approve, no matter what he says.

We pulled into the driveway and headed towards the house. God it as beautiful, just like Kevin had described it, so homey and welcoming. I could see why Kevin loved it here. Kevin pulled the Expedition to a stop and made his way over to open my door. As I stepped out the car he wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me very softly on the lips.

"It's all gonna be ok, trust me"

"I do. I love you boo."

"I love you to" Kevin grabbed the suitcases out of the back and grabbed my head. We were headed towards the back of the house when we heard the back door to the house open up.

"Kevin Scott Richardson, get yourself over here and give your mother a hug." Kevin let go of my hands and the suitcases and headed towards that sound. His mother was beautiful. Petit with brown hair that was pulled up in the back and she was wearing an apron. I watched as he lifted her off the ground and swung her around in a big bear hug, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Mama, I want you to meet someone." He grabbed her hand and headed back towards me.

"Mama, this is Cassidy Nicholson. Cassidy this is my mama, Ann Richardson"

"Nice to meet you" Mrs. Richardson stuck out her hand to me.

"The pleasures all mine, Kevin has told me so much about you." I gingerly shook her hand.

"Well now, lets get you kids in the house and settled. Dinner will be at six and Jerald, Lacey and the twins will be here as well as Tim." She turned and headed towards the house. Kevin picked back up our luggage and grabbed my hand giving me a reassuring squeeze before we started towards the house.

As we entered the house it was just like Kevin had described so homely and filled with love. Mrs. Richardson was already at the stove starting dinner.

"Where you want me to put these bags mom," Kevin asked.

"Well, that depends. If you two plan on staying in the room together then you can put them both in Jerald's old room. If you two would be wanting separate rooms then Cassidy can have your old room and you can sleep in Tim's."

"Excuse me. Mrs. Richardson?" I quietly started to speak.

"Yes Dear" she replied. I looked up at Kevin.

"Well, I'm not sure how much Kevin has told you about our relationship, but I have made it perfectly clear to Kevin that I don't intend on sharing a bed with any man that's not my husband. I hope you understand."

"Cass" Kevin began.

"No honey let me." She turned from the stove and took two steps towards me.

"Cassidy honey, I want you to know that I completely understand and I respect you for that. Kevin has told me about your decision, but I am also not so old that I don't realize that things could change. That is a decision for you and Kevin to make together. I'm just glad to know that you're not like some of the girls he's brought here before that's only after one thing from Kevin."

"MAMA" Kevin frowned.

"No mam, not that his body is not desirable, it's just a promise I made to my mama and myself before she died, and I'd really like to honor that" you could see Kevin turning three shades of red.

"I'll just take these up to the rooms if you two don't mind, it seems to be a little hot in here" and he turned and hurried up the stairs.

"Mrs. Richardson, would you like some help with dinner?" I asked.

"Cassidy, please call me Mama Ann, everyone does. And that would be lovely. Do you think you could help me with the salad?"

"Sure, just let me wash my hands."

"Ok, the bathroom is right thru those doors to the right."

"Thank you, I'll be right back"

I stood in the bathroom staring at the mirror. Oh god. What did I just tell Kevin's mother? I was so embarrassed. I splashed some water on my face and washed my hands.

"Ok, I'm back' I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"The lettuce is right there on the table and you can use that big blue bowl to put all of it in."

I sat there silent for a few minutes picking apart the head of lettuce.

"Mrs. Richardson, Can I talk to you for a minute." She turned towards me.

"Sure honey, what's up and it's Mama Ann" She took the seat next to mine at the table.

"Mama Ann, I just feel like I need to tell you something. And you can call me Cass, Kevin does. It's just that well, Kevin is very special to me, I mean I've never felt this way for anyone ever before. I think, no I know that I'm in love with him. But I also know how important his family is to him. You are all he talks about, mama this and mama that. Tim and Jerald and Lacey and the twins, heck even Brian. I'm not from a big family and well ever since I lost my mom it's just been dad and me. I don't ever want to come between Kev and his family and I want you to know that I want to be there for him to help him make all his dreams come true. To be there when he needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate with him. But if I have to I would walk away from him to make sure he's happy. The tears began to well up in my eyes. I really do love him Mama Ann."

"Oh honey, don't cry. Listen I know all about your relationship with Kevin, like you said you know we are close. All I've heard for the last several months is Cass said or Cass did or Cass, or Cass. Honey, I think your perfect for Kevin, and I think he knows that to. I think that's why you're here this weekend. The last piece of the puzzle that Kevin needs to put into place. You know what I'm saying. I also want to tell you how much I respect you desire to hold on to your purity until your married. So many girls out there want to land one of the boys so bad they will throw away all their morals and beliefs in hopes that they will have a chance. What they don't realize is God fearing mothers raised these boys and they were taught right. They have their standards too and they all know what they want in a life long partner. I knew from the minute I laid eyes on you two this afternoon that you weren't like that. I think by the end of today you'll see how'll you fit right into our family." The tears began to fall harder from my eyes.
"Oh Mama Ann, It's just been so long since I've had someone I could really talk to. I mean Kevin's' there of course but it's not the same. And I have my best friend Lisa, but well you know it's not like having a mother to talk to. I miss my mom so much. I just wish she could have met Kevin. I know she would have loved him as much as I do."

"Oh honey," she gathered me into a hug and I laid my head on her shoulder and began to sob. "It must be hard not having a mom, but you know what. You got me now. Feel free to call me anytime you need me ok. And Cass for the record, I just hope that son of mine knows what he has in you." We sat there hugging each other and the tears slowly subsided.

"Hey, what's up with my two best girls" Kevin came bounding down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Girl talk" his mom said as she stood and turned towards the stove. I picked up a carrot and began to slice it into the bowl.

"OH talking about the ole Kevster huh" he came and stood behind me stealing a carrot from the pile.

"Oh Kevin, not every conversation between females has to do with, what's that name again, OH yeah MR. BODY BEAUTIFUL" I burst out laughing as his mom finished her sentence.

"Man that hurts" he playfully grabbed at his heart.

"Well, I love that beautiful body" I looked up into those green eyes. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss.

"Kevin, can you go out and get some wood for the fire place, the gang will all be here soon and dinner will be ready in an hour"

"Sure mom, I'll be back in a few" he headed out the back door.

"Cass, if you're through with the salad, you can head upstairs to get changed. I'm sure you'd like a shower after your flight."

"Oh that would be great, can you tell me where I'm going," she laughed.

"Oh yeah, guess that would help. Well, Kevin's room is the first door to the left. You can access the bathroom through the bedroom. It's a jack and Jill shower. There's and entrance from Kevin's room and Tim's old room. That way if you need Kevin in the middle of the night for anything you can easily get to him. And no dear I'm not implying anything. I just know how weird it can be sleeping in a new place. And this place can get a little creaky at night."

"Thanks, Mama Ann" I turned and headed up the stairs.

I began to think about our conversation, last piece of the puzzle. I didn't know that Kevin was working on a puzzle. She really thinks I fit with the family, boy that's a relief. One down 5 more to go. I walked into Kevin's old room. The scent of his cologne was still noticeable. I saw my suitcase on the bed; his closet was to the right of the door. The walls were decorated with pennants from his high school football days and pictures of him as he grew up. There were pictures on a bookcase of him and his brothers and this magnificent picture of him and his dad down by the barn. I knew how much Kevin loved his dad. I wish I could have met him the same way I wished that Kev could have met my mom. I saw his trophies from football and awards from the drama club. There were pictures of BSB events and a collection of all their cd's next to the stereo. I put in one and started listening to "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" I began to laugh at the thought of the first day we had met. I walked over to his closet and opened the doors. There were still clothes of Kevin's in there. I found a red, black and white flannel shirt. I think I will wear this tonight I thought to myself. I took it off the hanger and headed over to my suitcase. I took out the white tank top I had packed and a pair of blue jeans. I picked up my suitcase and placed it in the bottom of the closet. As I turned to get my cloths I saw a note lying on the pillow of the bed.

Darlin;

I wanted you to know how special it is for me to have you here. It means so much for me to get to share the best thing in my life with my family. See I told you mom would love you. I want you to know that I too respect your wishes and hope that in no way you feel that I don't. You mean so much to me and hope that by the end of this weekend you will know just how much. I can't imagine my life with out you in it. Baby I want to be with you in everyway but, I'll wait for you until the day were married. However, I must warn you that the minute you become my wife, and you will, your mine.

I love you so much.

Love your;

Kevy
P.S. I sprayed the pillow with my cologne just incase you get lonely, but also know that I am just through the bathroom doors if you need me.

Oh my, I laid back on the bed holding the note to my chest. How did I get so lucky? He said I would be his wife. Oh how I dream of that day. I only hope it comes true. I so want that. Oh Kevin, I want to be with you too. I just know that if I can wait until the day we're married it will all be worthwhile. I remembered his PS and grabbed the pillow. I took in a deep breath. All my senses started to go wild. I had to get up and get a shower.

As I stood in the shower letting the hot water run over me my mind began to race again. The last piece of the puzzle, his plans for this weekend? What in the world were they talking about? Oh god, and how the scent of him can make my body race out of control. It was a good thing he wasn't standing in that room or god knows what I would have done. Just his touch makes my skin tingle. His kiss makes my knees go weak, and yet I feel so safe when I wrapped up in those strong arms. Ok, enough hot water time to turn to cold. I screamed as the water hit my body. I jumped out and grabbed a towel. That ought teach you Cass not to let your mind wander where it's not supposed to. I quickly dried off and got dressed. I loved the feeling of his flannel shirt on my skin. I twisted my hair into a French twist with the curls sticking out the top. Now, what to do about shoes. Kevin and Mama Ann had said to make myself at home so I reached in my cosmetic back and grabbed the bottle of SEXY RED nail polish I had. I painted my toes then looked at the clock. I had fifteen minutes. I lay back on the bed and snuggled with Kevin's pillow. I didn't hear the door open.

"Hey darlin" I heard his sultry voice whisper as he gathered me into his arms.

"Hey boo." I leaned up and kissed him.

"Is that my shirt you're wearing"?

"Yeah, I found it in the closet I hope you don't mind."

"No, looks better on you anyway."

"I highly doubt that" I swatted him on the chest.

"Oh, so you like it ruff do you" he picked me up and started to swing me out over the bed.

"KEVIN SCOTT you better not" about the time the words left my mouth I left his arms and ended up in the middle of the bed. Before I could move his body was on top of mine and he was tickling me mercilessly.

"Please boo, please stop," I cried out between laughing fits.

"Say it"

"NO" he began to tickle me again.

"SAY IT" he got louder.

"Fine, Kevin Scott Richardson is the man of my dreams" we both began to laugh. His hand stopped on my waist. We just laid there our eyes locked on each other. His lips slowly covered mine and our tongues explored each other's mouths. His hand began to caress my back. Oh my god what this man can do to me with just his touch. I pushed him up off me.

"Kev, we need to get down stairs" I looked at him.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to push to far, it's just God you drive me crazy."

"You drive me crazy too Kevin that's why we have to go downstairs, before I give in. It's getting so hard to stop. I want you so bad, but I also know that I want our first time together to be perfect." I crawled back up into his lap.

"It will be darlin, I promise you I'll make it perfect for you, I just love you so much."

"I love you too boo"
"You're right though, we better get going before mama comes up to get us." One quick kiss and we were out the door and headed down the stairs.

I was introduced to everyone as soon as we hit the kitchen. I could see the resemblances in all the brothers and could tell right away that they had a close relationship. Lacey was beautiful and the twins were absolutely adorable. Trey looked just like Jerald and Autumn was a spitting image of Lacey. We all talked and got to know each other over dinner and Kevin was right, his moms cooking was out of this world. Lacey and I stayed in the kitchen to help clear the table and put away the dishes, conversations were kept light. I walked out into the den and sat down on the floor to play with the twins while Kevin, Tim and Jerald walked down to the barn to feed the horses. Lacey sat on the couch reading a book and Mama Ann sat in the recliner stitching a shirt for Tim. I looked up as I heard Kevin and the others return from outside.

"Having fun darling" Kevin sat down next to me.

"Yeah, these two are adorable"

"Well, they are Richardson's what did you expect" He laughed.

He stood up and picked them both up and began to twirl around.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to get a glass of water, want anything," I said heading towards the kitchen.

"Nope, got my hands full right now" he continued to play with the twins. I walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water. As I headed back towards the living room I could hear Kevin laughing with the twins. I stopped just outside the doorway where I could look in but he couldn't see me. He was so great with them. Tickling them and coloring with them. He was so attetentive to each one never ignoring the other for too long. God, he was going to make a great dad someday.

"He's going to be a great dad," Lacey whispered in my ear. I jumped.

"I'm sorry I didn't know anyone was standing there. Yeah, I think he will to."

"Ya know he's crazy about you"

"Who, Kevin? You think"

"Girl it's written all over his face."

"Well, I hope so, I'm crazy about him that's for sure."

" Well, I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't hear wedding bells from the two of you before to long."

"Lacey, your crazy. Kevin and I have hardly even discussed marriage. I mean we've talked about the future and all and how we see us together but I can't remember one time him or I saying anything about marriage. Well, that is?"

"That is what?"

"Well, tonight he did say that one day I would be his wife." I began to blush

"See I told you. I bet you 100 dollars that by Christmas you two are engaged."

"Christmas, no not that fast!"

"I bet you"

"You bet what, Lacey?" Mama Ann had come into the room.

"I was just betting darlin Cass here that her and Kevy boy would be engaged by Christmas."

"Well, I bet it will be before Easter" Mama Ann spoke up.

"Easter, that's only 2 weeks away! You two sure are putting a lot faith in this relationship"

"Well, don't you think it's going to work?" they both asked

"Well, yeah, but I just don't know if Kevin is ready for that kind of commitment yet?"

"KEVIN, who said anything about Kevin needing to be ready, are you ready?"

"Can I tell you two a secret?"

"Of course you can." They chimed in at once.

"I've been ready to marry that man since the first day he walked into my restaurant."

"AAAWW" they both sighed. We all began to laugh.

"Shhh.... Look." Lacey pointed into the den.

Kevin and the twins had cuddled up on the couch together and fallen asleep.

"Oh, that's so sweet." I just stood there thinking, maybe one day.

"Ok you two. I need to round up my brood and get them home. I think the twins are ready for bed time and it don't look like Jerald is to far behind them." She hugged both of our necks and headed into the living room.

"Ok kiddos time to go home and go night, night" Lacey lifted Trey from Kevin's lap.

"I'll take Autumn out to the car if that's ok with you Lace?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way Kev." Kevin stood up and snuggled the little one next to his chest.

We all walked them to the back door. I watched as Kevin placed Autumn in her seat.

"If only" I whispered to myself heading back into the house.

"If only what" I heard Tim reply.

"Nothing" I said.

"I know what your thinking in that pretty little head of yours."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yeah, I bet your thinking that if that was only you and Kevin."
"How'd you know?" I lowered my eyes to the floor.

Tim stepped over to me and lifted my chin with his finger.

"Cause girly it's written all over your face." I began to blush.

"Well?'

"Well, it's ok, it's written all over his to. Don't worry. My brothers not that dumb to let someone like you get away."

"You think so Tim?"
"Yeah, I mean you're different, but your good for him, all of us know that and you fit right into the family."

I stepped forward and embraced him.

"Thanks, I needed to hear that. I like you guys a lot too."

"Besides, if he doesn't claim you soon, I might have to claim you for myself" he whispered into my ear. We both began to laugh.

"Hey, hands off my woman." Kevin came through the back door.

"We were just saying goodnight." Right Cass. Tim winked at me.

"Right Tim" I winked back.

"Night mama" Tim kissed his mother on the cheek as he headed out the back door.

"Night Tim" She closed and locked the door once Tim cranked the car and started to drive away.

"Ok you two. I'm headed to bed. Now Cass remember that Kevin is just two doors down and my bedroom is downstairs off the living room. If you need anything feel free to get one of us up." She hugged me and then kissed Kevin goodnight leaving us standing in the kitchen.



"Well now my lady, it's seems we have been left alone for the evening" his voice was low and sultry.

"And what might you have in mind there Mr. Richardson?" I asked.

"Might I have the pleasure of escorting the beautiful young lady to her room this evening?" Kevin asked using his southern drawl.

"It would be my pleasure." I used my best Scarlet O'Hara accent. I stuck out my hand for Kevin to grab.

As we walked up the stairs his hand was placed on the small of my back. No words being spoken in sound but a million being screamed by touch. As we made it to the top of the stairs Kevin suddenly spun me around and pinned me to the door. Our lips collided in such a passionate kiss that I lost my breath, hands searching and touching, tongues exploring. My knees began to go weak; all I could do was hold on to him.

"Kevin" I mumbled.

"Yes darlin" he replied.

"We've gotta stop." His forehead came to rest against mine. Our bodies still tightly stuck together.

"I know, It's just I love you so much."
"I love you to. God I want you so bad, but please understand Kevin."

"Baby I do. I do understand." We just stood there holding each other.

"Well, Goodnight Darlin" He started to walk towards his room.

"Sweet dreams Boo" I called behind him.

"Only of you." He turned and our eyes locked one last time, as he closed the door behind him.

I slipped in side my room and fell back against the door. My hands came to my chest, trying to steady my breathing. God, did he know how hard it is to turn him away like that. I've just got to be strong, but it's so hard. I grabbed my suitcase out of the closet and began to get undressed. I decided that I would sleep in his flannel shirt so I slipped off my tank top and my jeans. I grabbed my cosmetic bag and headed towards the bathroom. My mind was replaying the events of the last few minuets. I could still taste him on my lips. I grabbed the door to the bathroom and flung it open.

"KEVIN. OMG I'm so sorry" I shut the door quickly and dove onto the bed. Hiding my head in my hands. I heard the bathroom door slowly open.

"Hey darling, it's ok" I looked up. OMG, he was standing there with a white towel wrapped around his waist and it didn't hide what he was trying to hide very well. The steam was flowing out the room beside him as the light from the bathroom highlighted his figure. I could see the muscles in his chest still dripping with water and his hair was scattered on his head from being wet. Every muscle in my body went weak. I looked back down at the floor.

"Hey, you ok, I mean it's not like you've never seen a naked man before?" My headshot up and our eyes met.

"Oh Sh**! I mean, hang on babe, I'll be right back" Kevin returned with his flannel pajama bottoms on and a white wife beater shirt. He picked me up and sat me in his lap. I was so embarrassed.

"Cass, babe, are you serious, you've never seen a naked man?"

"Yes, I mean NO. I mean, I've seen men in movies and pictures and stuff, but God Kevin, never someone in person and never someone I loved."

"Oh babe, I'm sorry, I didn't think to tell you I was going to get a shower."

"No, I should have heard the water running, my mind was just on other things. Besides I mean I only saw you through the shower door, I'm sorry, I'm so making a mountain out of a mole hill."

"No it's ok, but please don't ever be embarrassed of us. One day I want you to see all of me and I want to see all of you. But were going to wait until our wedding night. Right?"

"Uh Huh" there it was again, us getting married.

"Ok, so what where you headed into the bathroom for?"
"I wanted to brush my teeth before I went to bed."

"Ok, let's go, I need to brush mine to. There's two sinks we can do it at the same time"

W headed for the bathroom. I finished brushing my teeth and climbed up on the counter to watch Kevin. He was so meticulous making sure that every tooth got the same amount of attention. He looked over at me and caught me smiling.

"Penny for your thoughts" he said.

"Well, I was just thinking about what you said earlier about our wedding night. There's so much we don't know about each other. Kevin, do you think we'll make it till then?"

"Oh Darlin" He stepped in front of me and pulled me right into his body.

"I have no doubt in my mind that we'll make it till then and until forever." He wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted me up and carried me back into my room. We curled up in each other arms and talked.

"Kevin you do understand don't you. I mean I just know that when I finally give myself to my husband I want to be able to say that I was his and his alone. I want him to know that my body will only know him and only give him the pleasure that he desires. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense. Cass I'm sorry that I didn't wait for you. If I had know that you would come into my life I would have waited a million lifetimes to be with just you. Do you know that?"

"Yes, and Kevin it's ok with me that you've been with others. That way I know if you choose to make me your wife then its because you know what you'll be giving up to be with me and only me and that you decided that it was me you wanted." Our lips met again.

"I better get going before I lose all of my will power." He stood up and pulled me with him. Wrapped in his arms we heard the sounds of the radio playing. "When I'm lost and afraid...." I turn to you was playing, our song. The one we had first danced to that night we met. He slowly began to lead as we danced holding each other tight.

"Kevin?"

"Yes Darlin"

"Promise me that when we do get married that we can dance to this song as our first dance as husband and wife?"

"Anything you want." The song ended.

"Night darlin"

"Night" he started to walk towards the bathroom door.

"Oh, Cass?"

"Yeah Boo?"

"I hope this weekend turns out to be everything you wanted, and everything I've dreamed of." With that he walked through the bathroom door and closed it behind him. I fell onto the bed and gabbed the pillow.

"It already has boo, it already has."
Chapter 4 by 2liveis2luv
The feel of someone moving the hair from my eyes awakened me, the sunlight was just coming thru the curtains and I could make out the shape of Kevin's body sitting next to me on the bed.

"Morning boo" I looked up in to his green eyes.

"Morning darlin" he leaned down and gently gave me a kiss.

"You sleep ok?"

"Yeah, it helped having a pillow that smelled like you to snuggle with all night" I giggled.

"Glad I could be of service." He winked.

"Mama's just about got breakfast finished, you hungry?"

"Umm Hmm" I mumbled as I rolled over on to his lap. His arms wrapped around me and I snuggled into his chest.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you and I could go horseback riding today, would you like that?" He asked.

"I'd love to, I haven't been riding in so long and I miss it so much."

"Ok then, you better get up and get dressed and I'll meet you down stairs. Ok?"

"K"

"I'm gonna get mama to pack us a picnic and we'll just spend the day together out there in the woods. I want to show you all the places I used hang out at when I was growing up and some things that I would like to do in the future? You up for that"

"Yep, I'll be down in a few." He stood us up and I reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I'll see ya downstairs" he headed for the door.

"Hey, Boo"

"Yeah"

"I like waking up next you." I grinned and walked into the bathroom.

"I like it to darlin, and one day it will be permanent." He turned and walked down the stairs. I was glad that I hadn't heard him or I probably would have fainted right there on the spot.

"I brushed my teeth and got dressed. I threw on a pair of blue jeans and another one of Kevin's flannel shirts from his closet. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. If we were going to be in the woods all day I didn't want to have to worry about what my hair was doing. Besides Kevin said he liked it when I wore my hair up. I threw on my timberland boots and headed down to the kitchen. I could smell bacon and coffee. I was getting real hungry by the time I made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"Morning Mama Ann" I walked over and gave her a hug.

"Morning Cass, you sleep ok?" She hugged me back.

"Yeah. I can't remember ever sleeping so well before?"

"Morning boo," I leaned down and wrapped my arms over Kevin's shoulders placing my head on his shoulder.

"Morning darlin" he turned and kissed me on the cheek.

"Have a seat Cass breakfast is just about ready," Kevin poured me a cup of coffee as I took the seat next to him at the table. Mama Ann began placing all the food around us and looked at Kevin.

"Honey, do you mind saying grace for us this morning"

"Sure mom"

"Dear Lord, Thank you for the blessings that you have bestowed upon each and everyone of us. Thank you for our families, friends and loved ones. Thank you for the bounty you have placed before us on this table as we take this nourishment to our bodies let us remember to give back to you what is rightfully yours. In your sons precious name, AMEN."

"Amen" we echoed.

The breakfast was delicious. We sat and talked about our plans for the day and Kevin began to tell his mom how he was going to show me around the property.

"Well, that will be nice. I've got the picnic basket all ready for you Kev, just the way you asked me to fix it" I missed the wink they shared.

"OH, Mama Anne, I could have helped you with that" I spoke up.

"Oh, it was no trouble dear. Besides I made sure I packed everything that Kevin wanted."

"Ok. Can I help you clean up the breakfast dishes?"

"Sure that would be great."

"I'm going to head on down to the barn and get the horses ready. Just meet me down there when you're done ok Cass."

"Sure Kev. I'll see ya in a few" He grabbed the picnic basket and headed out the back door towards the barn.

"Well then, what are you plans for today Mama Ann?"

"I think I'll do a little housework and then I may ride into town. The church is having its Annual Bizarre and I thought that I would meet my sister Jackie in town and spend sometime with her." Thanks for asking.

"Well that sounds nice. Is there anything I can help you do before I go ride with Kevin."?

"No dear, you go spend time with that gorgeous guy of ours and leave all this to me."

"Ok, but I don't mind helping if you need me to."

"I know dear and it's fine, there will be plenty of time for that later. Go on now before that son of mine get's antsy. I don't need him in hear fussing about me taking you away from him."
"Ok, well, we'll see ya later this afternoon then right?"

"Oh yeah, didn't Kevin tell you that we were having dinner at Jackie and Harold's tonight? Brian and Leighanne just flew in the morning and we were going to go over for a Bar-b-cue with the whole gang tonight. That's ok with you isn't it?"

"Oh that would be great, I would love to meet more of Kev's family and I love Bri and Leigh. Ok then we'll see ya later." I headed out the back door.
"Lord, please let all of Kev's plans work out today. She's just what he needs. Amen" Ann Richardson watched as Cass headed towards the barn and towards her unknown future.

"Be good to him Cass, he's worth it." She whispered as she closed the door and turned to go finish her chores.

"Hey Boo" I called as I came into the barn.

"Hey to you too. I was beginning to get worried that you forgot about me out here?"

"Nah, I was just having fun talking to your mom, she's so sweet."

"Yeah, she's great. So what were you two talking about?"

"Oh she was telling about the plans for the bar-b-cue tonight. Why didn't you say something about it sooner? It sounds like so much fun?"

"Well, I was just going to see how our day went, I mean we might be to tired to go tonight?" His eyes began to sparkle with mischief.

"Oh no, Now don't you be getting any ideas about what may happen out in them woods dear. We will be attending that dinner tonight with your family. Besides Bri and Leigh flew in this morning and I want to see them."

"Oh well, there goes my plans for the day" he chuckled.

"Kevin Scott" I laughed and turned to walk away.

"OH no you don't" he grabbed me and spun me back around. I was right up against his body and his lips came down to devour mine.

"Mmmmmm" was all I could say. My legs began to grow weak. God what this man could do to me with just one kiss.

"Ok, let's go" He stepped back. "This here is Lady Caramel, she's one of the last one's my dad bought before he got sick. She's as gentle as a lamb."

She was a beautiful palomino with a blonde main.

"And this here is Midnight Storm, or Stormy for short. My dad and I trained him together, he's always been my favorite." Kevin helped me get up on Caramel and I watched as he mounted Stormy. He was so strong and moved with ease on the horse. I could tell that he had spent a lot of time on this one in particular.

"Ready"

"Yep, let's go"

We rode all over the property. It was so beautiful. The leaves and the colors were magnificent. Kevin showed the places where he and Tim and Jerald would build forts and hide. He showed me the spot where his dad would take them hunting and where he killed his first deer. I could see the pride in Kevin's face as he talked about his childhood and growing up on this farm. I just watched in awe as memory after memory replayed through Kevin's mind. We began to wander down a trail and I began to hear the sound of running water.
"What's that Kev."? I asked.

"Oh that's just the stream up ahead I thought that's where we would have the picnic. If that's ok with you?"

"Sure, I'll go wherever you lead dear." I giggled. We came to an opening and just on the other side was the most spectacular view I had ever seen. There was a stream running thru the middle of the property, beside the stream stretching all the way across was a Weeping Willow tree. Its branches were huge and it looked to be very old. I could see just to the right of the tree a driveway leading up to a clearing. In the distance I could see what looked to be like construction up on the clearing. It was almost like magic. The sun shown off the stream causing a glittering effect. I just held my breath and stared.

"Hey, you ok over there?" his voice brought me back to reality.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just don't think I've ever seen a place so beautiful before."

"Yeah, it did the same thing to me the first time I ever came here. My brothers and me used to race down here for swims all the time. Mr. Jackson our neighbor owned the place and told us that we could come over anytime we wanted." He slid down off his horse as we neared the stream. I watched as he tied stormy up to a post next to the water. He walked over and held out his hand to help me down.

"Why thank you Mr. Richardson." I said as I took his hand. I slid down into his arms.

"I like this" I softly whispered as I buried my head into his chest.

"I do to." He whispered back. He took Caramel over to another post and tied her up and grabbed the picnic basket and blanket from off of Stormy. We walked hand in hand over to the willow tree. I stood back and watched as Kevin spread the blanket out under the branches of the tree and began to set out the food from the basket.

"Come over here and join me," he said.

"Ok," I walked over and sat down on the blanket. Kevin scooted up and placed his back against the tree.

"Up here" he motioned for me to slide in next to him. I didn't hesitate. I snuggled up under his arm and placed my cheek in the crook of his shoulder.

"We used to come down here and listen to the stream as it made it's way across the rocks. We would run and grab hold of handfuls of the willows and swing out into the steam and just let go and fall to the water. God, we had so much fun here. Cass, this place is so special to me. I used to sneak down here whenever I had a bad day. The sounds of the wind blowing through the willow branches were like listening to heaven take a breath. The sound of the stream has such a calming effect. I felt like nothing bad could ever happen to me when I was here."
"Oh Kevin, it's so beautiful here. It must have been amazing growing up in a place like this. I mean, Orlando's great, but it's got nothing on this place." I looked around.

"Oh it is amazing, that's why when Mr. Jackson decided to sell the place a few years back I bought it from him. I couldn't imagine not ever being able to bring my kids here one day and watch them play the way Jerald and Tim and I did. Come with me!" He quickly stood up and pulled me up to his side. He took my hand in his and began walking towards the driveway that led up to the clearing. "I want you to see this."

We walked up the driveway, it didn't matter where you looked all around us was pure beauty. Nature at it's best. As we reached the top of the driveway, I took a deep breath.

"Kevin this is beautiful" It was like sitting on top of a mountain and having full view of the valley below you. I could still see the tree and blanket we had been sitting on from where I stood. "What is this place" I began to look around.

"This is home Cass?"

"Home?"

"Yeah, I started the construction here about 4 months ago, right after I bought this place. I knew that this would be where I would want to live someday, well retire to someday. I know that as long as I'm in show business that I won't be able to live here permanantley, but it will be the place that my family and me can come to whenever we want. Cass, this will be the place where everything will always be Ok. Come over here and let me show you the plans." We walked across the front of the house and I could tell it was going to be beautiful. Kevin pulled the plans out from a file desk and began to show me what the house was going to look like when it was all-complete.

"This here will be the master bedroom. It will have a study off to the side and this huge bathroom, complete with Jacuzzi big enough for me and the Mrs. A double shower also big enough for two. I could see the mischief reappearing in his eyes. There will be two walk in closets in the bathroom one for me and one for her. Right here the door that connect through the bathroom, I want that to be the nursery. That way the baby won't be far from us. I watched as he talked about his future in this house with the woman that he would marry, about the children that they would have and where there rooms would be. He told me about the pool that he was going to put out back with a big Jacuzzi so all his friends could come over and hang out. He showed me the gourmet kitchen he was designing so that he and his wife could cook together side by side. I was so impressed by how he had every detail figured out. He knew exactly what he wanted; I just wish I knew if he already had the Mrs. Part figured out as well. I heard him talking about the big swing he would have on the front so that he could sit out there at night and listen to the stream and the breeze thru the willows. He walked me around and showed me every inch of the place, and then we headed back down by the stream. We sat down and leaned back up against the willow.

"You hungry"

"Yeah, sure." I said half-heartedly.

"Ok, lets see what mama fixed for us." He looked like a kid at Christmas; he had just shown me his surprise and now he was going to get to eat to. It was so cute; watching him pull out all of the food his mom had packed. We enjoyed the lunch and then snuggled back up together by the tree.

"This is the life Cass."

"Yeah, it's great' I sighed.

"Hey, you ok?" He took his hand and tilted my face up towards his.

"Yeah" I said.

"Uh Uh, your not being straight with me here, tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
"It ‘s nothing Kevin, really."

"Hey, I thought we promised no secrets?"

"We did, really Kevin its nothing?" He stood up and walked over beside the stream. I stood up and followed him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into his back.

"Cass, don't do this, don't shut me out, please tell me what's wrong" I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Kevin, really there's nothing wrong." He spun me around so that we were facing each other. I knew he would see the tears.

"Yeah, right, now your lying to me, come on Cass out with it."

"Fine, you wanna know what's wrong with me." I pushed away from him and started to walk away. He started to take a step to come after me and I spun back around.

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME" I yelled.

"You Kevin, this Kevin. This is what's wrong. I'm here with you in this wonderful place and you showing me all of your future plans. Your plans with some Mrs.? Your up there on that hill showing the plans for you and your wives house and where your kids will be sleeping, where you'll be sleeping and taking long relaxing baths with your wife. God, Kevin. How do you expect me to sit here and listen to you talk about your future like that. You are my everything Kevin. I can't imagine even taking a breath if your not part of my world." The tears were beginning flow faster. "I can't stand the thought of not hearing your voice everyday or feeling you touch me. The way you make me feel when you hold me in your arms and the electricity that shoots through my body when you just brush by. I love you so much, but I can't stand here and listen to you talk about your future with out me." I turned to walk away. I felt his hand's grab me and spin me back around.
"Oh Darlin, I'm so sorry. I got so caught up in my own excitement that I didn't even think. Can you forgive me?" I could see tears filling his eyes. "Cass, I love you more than life itself. God, don't you know that by now. Don't you know that I feel the exact same way you do? I'm incomplete if you're not in my life. I wake up every morning wanting to reach over and feel you next to me. To be able to make love to you in the early morning after we've made love all night long. Cass, everything I was talking about up there on that hill is for us baby. I don't want any other woman to live in that house Cass, nobody but you. I want you to be the one I take long relaxing baths with in that tub. The one who sneaks into the nursery at night to peep in on the babies before we go to bed? I want to wrap up in a blanket on the porch swing with you at night and sit out and stare at the stars as we listen to the sounds of nature all around us. I want to make love to you in the moonlight right here under this willow tree on the night we get married. Cass..." He dropped down to one knee. My hand flew up to my mouth, and the tears began to fall harder.

"Cassidy Lynn Nicholson, would you do me the honor of being my wife. Will you marry me?" he looked up at me with tears in his eyes. He had pulled a black velvet box from his pocket and was holding it in his right hand.

"Oh Kevin? I didn't mean, I mean. Oh god."
"No Cass, this is why I brought you here today. I've had this ring since we left Italy last month, but I just had to make sure that everything was perfect. Cass, you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want us to be a family. Please say you'll marry me." I dropped to my knees in front of him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, I began to sob into his chest."
"Cass, please answer me."
"Oh Kevin, yes, yes I'll marry you. I've wanted that so much, since the first day we met. Yes."

Kevin took the ring from the box and slid it onto my left hand. It was gorgeous. A three-carat emerald cut diamond sat in the middle with two 1 carat trillion cut green emeralds flanking both sides. The color of the emeralds matched his eyes. He leaned in and we kissed. It was so passionate and soft. I felt him start to stand and he pulled me to my feet.

"Come sit back with me on the blanket"
"Ok." My legs were still shaking. I can't believe this is happening. Oh God, if this is a dream please don't ever let me wake up.

We curled up together on the blanket under the tree. I couldn't get close enough to him. He finally pulled me into his lap and snuggled me up to his chest.

"Better?"
"Much." We sat there in the silence neither daring to speak.

"Cass, I'm sorry if I scared you. I thought you knew that when I was talking about my future that you were included in that?"

"Kevin, I had hoped that I would be part of your future. But, why Kevin, how did I get so lucky to deserve someone like you?"
"Because you loved ME, Cass. The real me. Not the Backstreet Boy, but Kevin Richardson from Kentucky. I should be asking you how I got so lucky? I mean, you're so perfect for me." He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head. We sat there and slowly drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

"Cass, darling" He was pushing the hair out of my eyes for a second time today. "Wake up" he kissed me gently on the lips.

"Hey boo." I sat up and stretched. "How long were we asleep for?"

"I'd say about an hour to an hour and a half? You ok?" He asked.

"I couldn't be better. I caught the reflection of the sun off my ring. It was real. He did ask me to marry him.

"Kevin"

"Yep"

"Tell me I'm not dreaming. Tell me you really did ask me to marry you?"
"Well," He stood up and started to walk towards the stream.

"If you must know the truth. Yes, I did ask you and You did say yes. Your not backing out on me are you?"
I jumped up and ran over to him and jumped into his arms. "NEVER, your stuck with me now buddy"
"Good that's all I've wanted. Cass, are you going to be ok with all of this here? I mean the house we can change if you don't like it, We can look somewhere else?"
"Oh no Kevin. I love it here. This place will be so amazing."

"Kevin?"

"Yep"

"What would you say if I told you I would love to have the wedding right here under the willow tree?"

"I'd say you're a genius and ask you when you'd want that?"
"Well, we have to tell your mom and my dad first?"

"Nope, already taken care of."
"Huh?"

"Well, that's what mama and I were talking about before you came down this morning. I wanted her to know that I was going to ask you to marry me and I wanted her to be ok with it."
"And"

"And she couldn't be happier. She loves you Cass, I told you she would. She told me I'd be a fool if I let you get away and I think she's right again?"

"And my dad?"

"Well, now what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't get the father's permission before asking his only daughter to marry me?"

"Oh Kevin, you didn't"

"Yep and he said as long as I took care of you and loved you that he was fine with it."

"Well, that won't be hard at all, cause I already love you and all I've ever wanted to do is take care of you."

"Kevin you are so amazing. I'm the luckiest person in the world?"

"Nope I am darlin." He leaned down and we got lost in a kiss.

We sat around talking about the plans for our future. It was such a great day.

"So Cass, when did you say that you wanted to have that wedding?"

"Well, let's see today is May 1st. The tour starts back in August, right?"
"Yep, with rehearsal's starting in July."

"Ok, then you guys will be on break again what, in December?"

"Yeah, we'll have the whole month of December off and then we'll go back out on the road the second week of January."

"Ok, so what about let's get married in December?"
"WHAT?"

"What do you mean what?"

"That way it would give us time together as a husband and wife before you head back out on the road?"

"I mean you really want to wait 7 months to get married?" The questions in his eyes were unmistakable.

"Well, not really, but we don't have much of a choice here do we. I mean your schedule is already set."

"Cass, what abut if we got married in June."
"June, Kevin that's like only a month away. I mean."

"What's the matter Cass, don't you want to marry me."?

"Kevin, of course I do, it's just that's not a lot of time to get a wedding put together"

"So what kind of wedding do you want?" He asked.

"Well, like I said, I want to get married here, by the stream, if that's still ok with you" He nodded.

"I want it to just be immediate family. You know your mom and brothers, lacey and the twins, my dad, Lisa and of course we couldn't leave out the boys, Nick, Howie, AJ and Brian. Leighanne would of course be invited, your Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold, but other than a minister I think that's all we would need."

"What do you think?"

"I think I just fell more in love with you. That would be perfect for me. Just the family, quite and personal just us. Cass, I could probably get the house finished by June 27th. What if we had the wedding on the 28th and we could honeymoon here in the house for a couple of days, then we could fly back to Orlando for rehearsal's?"

"Oh Kevin that sounds perfect. Just think In less than two months I will be Mrs. Kevin Scott Richardson."
I was so excited. We finished talking more about the wedding and decided that it was time we started heading back towards the house. We needed to get ready for the bar-b-cue.

"Hey Cass" he spoke as we rode back towards the house.

"Yeah boo."

"I hope you don't mind, but I got a little presumptuous and invited everyone to the bar-b-cue so we could make the announcement. Is that ok with you?"
"That's perfect. No time like the present."

I sat in the barn as Kevin unsaddled the horses and got them ready to put away in the stalls. I watched every move he made, memorizing every step and touch. How could I be so lucky? I looked down at my ring and began to rub my other fingers over it.

"You like it?" he asked stepping up in front of me.

"Love it. The emeralds remind me of your eyes."

"Same thing mama said when I showed it to her."

"Well, I'll always have a way now to see you." I reached out and drew him close to me.

"Cass, when we head back out in August on the tour."

"Yeah"

"Will you go with me? I mean, we'll have only been married for a month. I couldn't stand to be on the road with out you. Please say you'll go?"

"Of course I will silly, you think I'm going to want to be away from my husband that soon after we get married. Are you crazy? I mean. We have a lot of catching up to do Mr. Richardson and I intend to take full advantage of my wifely privileges once we say I do."

"Really?" He wiggled his eyebrows and his eyes began to sparkle.

"OH yes, really. I can't wait to be your wife in everyway Kevin."

"Did I say a June wedding, can we move that up to like tomorrow?" We both began to laugh.

Let's go get dressed for this party shall we. We started walking hand in hand towards the house. I knew that no matter what Kevin and I would always be together. He would always take care of me.
Chapter 5 by 2liveis2luv
Kevin and I arrived at the bar-b-cue around 7:00pm.

"Hey Cuz" Brian and Leighanne were making their way across the backyard towards us.

"Wassup." Brian and Kev embraced.

"Hey Cass"

"Hey Leigh" I hugged her neck.

"So everybody here?" Kevin asked Brian, a small grin spreading across his face.

"Yep, so what's the big news?" Brian asked.

"In due time, cuz, in due time. Come on Cass I want you to meet my Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold." Kevin led me out into the backyard where the rest of the family was all gathered.

"CASSSSSS". I looked up to see Nick running towards me.

"OMG, Nick, what are you doing here"
"HI Sexy" AJ came up behind me.

"Hi there" Howie came around AJ.

"OMG, what are all you guys doing here" I turned to Kevin.

"I told you I invited everyone over for the announcement."

"Kevin, I thought you meant your family?"

"Hey, these guys are my family."

"I know it's just"
"Hey pumpkin." I heard the voice, but wasn't sure I should turn around.

"Daddy?" I turned and ran into my dad's arms.

"Hey pumpkin, didn't think I would miss this for the world."
"OH Daddy, how, when?"
"Hello, Mr. Nicholson." Kevin was standing behind us and held his hand out to shake my fathers.

"Hello Kevin. Thank you for bringing me out here to celebrate with the two of you."

"I wouldn't have had it any other way."
"Kevin? Daddy?"

"Darlin, I told you I wanted to make an announcement, there's no point in leaving anyone out," he leaned in towards me.

"Ya know, not much time to waste."
We spent the next few hours moving around thru the crowds meeting everyone and introducing all of the family to each other. No one had noticed the new accessory I was sporting on my left hand. I had moved out to the back of the yard to catch my breath. I looked down and caught The reflection of the moonlight shining on my ring. I took in a breath.

"Hey darlin" Kevin came up behind me placing his hands around my waist.

"Hey boo"

"What'cha doing?"
"Just trying to figure out if I'm dreaming or not? Kevin this is more than I ever imagined, How did I get so lucky?" I turned to be in his arms.

"You loved me Cass, that's all, and If you're dreaming I don't want you to wake up. Ok." I nodded.

"Ready to go surprise everyone?"
"Kevin, who all knows,?"

"Just my mom and your dad? You ok with that?"
"Yeah, come on let's go." We headed back towards the outdoor fireplace.

"EVERYONE" Kevin pulled me to his side and began to yell.

"Can I have everyone's attention" We were standing in front of the fireplace arm in arm as everyone made a semicircle around us.

"Well, I'm glad that everyone could join us tonight." The knot in my stomach began to tighten. What was everyone going to say? Would the guys accept me, would they accept this marriage? What will his family say? I held tighter to Kevin.

"Well, I was so excited that all of you agreed to fly in today for our party. Cass and I have spent the whole day preparing for tonight and hope that you're all having a great time."

"Yeah man, why'd you drag us out her to the middle of no where?" AJ punched Nick in the shoulder and the two began to laugh.

"Can it Aje." Brian yelled. He was standing next to Leighanne.

"Well, today I took Cass out to the stream and showed her all the places I used to hang out as a kid. I took her to where the house is being built and showed her around?" He continued.

"AAAhhh Kevy, did you and Cass play hide and seek?" Tim and Jerald began to pick at Kevin as well.

"NO, the reason I wanted to bring you all here today, was," Kevin looked down at me.

"Well, I asked Cass to marry me and she said yes"

"NO WAY", "OH MAN"," Way to Go KEV" echoes of congratulations was coming from everywhere.

"OMG," Leighanne was hugging me and bouncing up and down at the same time.

"Cass, I'm so happy for you two, I knew it, I just knew it." she began to dance around like a child at Christmas.

"Let me see the ring?" I held out my hand for her to see.

"Wow, Kevin, you did good boy."

"Thanks Leigh" Kevin continued shaking hands and listening to the congratulations.

"So when's the big day." Mama Ann asked above everyone else.

"OH YEAH," Kevin began to yell again.

"Wedding, at the stream June 28th, everyone's invited."

"WOOO HOOO PAAARRRTTTYYY" AJ and Nick began to dance around.

"Son?" Mama Ann turned to look at Kevin and I.

"Yes, mama, it's only a month away, but Cass and I both decided that we didn't want a big wedding, just a private ceremony with us and the immediate family. Everyone that's here tonight and of course Cass's best friend Lisa, Mom I have to go back on tour soon and I want Cass with me. I know that can't happen unless we're married and besides she wants this to." She looked at me.

"Mama Ann, really, this is what we want. I just want to be married to Kevin." I leaned into her shoulder.

"I love him." I whispered to her. She just shook her head.

"As long as this is what the two of you want then I'm behind you 100%. What can I do to help?" She embraced both of us.

The next few weeks went by in a whirlwind. So many plans to make, Kevin and I flew to Orlando the week before the wedding and began to move my stuff into his house. Mama Ann was taking care of all the arrangements in Kentucky. We had given her the details of what we wanted and she had promised us that her and Aunt Jackie would take care of it all. The house was to be done by the 27th and we were going to spend our first night in the house together. Kevin had taken me shopping before we left Kentucky and we picked out the furniture for every room. It was so perfect. Our house, I couldn't believe all this was happening to me. We picked out a King Size bed with a canopy for our room. It had white sheer curtains falling all around it. The wood was a beautiful white oak with an etched headboard with matching chest, dresser and armoire that would hold the TV we bought. We also picked out a large chaise lounge to sit by the fireplace in our room. I had told Kevin that I could just see us curled up there on the chaise in front of the fireplace reading or talking about what the days event had brought.

June 25th, we flew back to Kentucky. Lisa was flying in later that night along with Nick and AJ. They had all hung out together a few times so Lisa was comfortable with riding with them from the airport to the farm.

"Hey Cass" Kevin called up the stairs.

"Yeah Boo"

"Hey, the foreman's here, can you come down a minute?"

"Sure" I headed down to the kitchen.

"Hey Mike, what's up?" I asked heading to the fridge for a drink.

"Well, I just wanted to stop by and give you and Kevin these." I turned around in time to see two sets of keys.

"The house is all yours. The guys wanted to make sure it was done in plenty of time, and well. Here ya go. Good luck with your marriage and if you need us for anything else please feel free to call on us." He handed the keys to Kevin.

"Wow, our house is done." I began to bounce up and down beside Kevin.

"Here ya go Darlin. Your keys to your palace." He gave me the keys.

"Thanks so much Mike for everything, you guys did an awesome job. Cass and I can't begin to thank you for all the hard work you've put into the house."
"Our pleasure Mr. Richardson." With that Mike turned and left.

"Kevin, can we go see it?" I asked.

"Anything you want darlin" We put on our shoes and headed towards the house.

It was perfect everything we had wanted and more. This was it, this was where I would begin my life with Kevin, where we would raise our family and spend our days and nights together. We looked at every room and all the furniture was in place.

"It's perfect." I said standing in the middle of the living room tears glistening in my eyes.

"Yep, and I can't wait till tomorrow." Kevin said taking me in his arms for a kiss.

Later that night back at Mama Annes.

"Anybody here" I heard AJ yelling from the kitchen.

"LISA" I began yelling and running down the stairs.

"Whoaaa" Nick jumped out the way as I bolted past him out the back door.

"LISA"

"CASS" we embraced and spun around in a circle.

Lisa had been my best friend for years she was the one I confided everything in. She had been there for me when my mom died and she was the first person I told that I loved Kevin. Even before I told Kevin. She's blonde and about 5'3. She's petit with an athletic body. She can always make me laugh and knows just when I need a hug. I knew that there was no way I would get married if she wasn't there to stand beside me.

"OMG girl, I'm so glad to see you" we picked up her bags and headed inside.

"Me too. I didn't think that flight would ever end."
"Bad flight huh?"

"No, great flight. I just had to listen to twheedle Dee and twheedle dumb over there for the past two hours. Are they always that obnoxious towards each other." She looked at AJ and Nick.

"Yep, but I love'em."

"AAAHHH We love you too Cass" they said in harmony.

"Hey Lis" Kevin came into the Kitchen.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it." He shook hands with the boys and gave Lisa a hug.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world" they all three replied.

"Come on Lisa let's take your stuff upstairs. We got a lot to talk about. See ya Boo" I gave Kev a quick kiss and headed up the stairs.

"Hey, Cass?"

"Yeah, Lisa" we closed the door to the room and sat down on the bed.

"You ready?"
"God yes, I've been ready since the first night I met him. Lisa he's so wonderful, he's everything I could have ever wanted and more." I fell back on the bed pulling the pillow to my chest.

"Yeah, he's great. I'm so happy for you. Thanks for letting me take part in all of this."

"Girl, I couldn't have done this without you."
"So, can I ask you another question?"
"Yeah, what's up?" I stood up and walked over to the stereo to put on some music.

"What's Nicks story?" I quickly tuned around and caught the grin on her face.

"What do you mean Nick's story?" I played along.

"Well, I mean does he have a girlfriend?"

"Nope"

"Does he want one?"
'Yep"

"Really?"
"You volunteering? I thought you two couldn't stand each other?" I went and sat back down on the bed.

"Well, I kinda saw a different side of him tonight. I mean, he's so excited about the wedding and I heard him talking about how much you and Kev love each other and how you two are meant to be together. He was saying how much he wanted a relationship like that too. He's so cute and you know I've always loved his voice. I guess it's just with all this love stuff floating thru the air I was just wandering if you thought there could be a chance of me and him getting to know each other better."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Once you've hung around Nicky awhile you began to see him in a different light. He puts on such an act of being Mr. Independent, but I think he does need someone to share his life with. Someone that's not just after him as a star, and, there's no time like the present I mean I could drop a hint or two if ya want me to?"
"You'd do that; I mean this is your weekend. I can wait?"

"Why, I want everyone I know and love to feel the same way I do? God I love that man downstairs and I can't wait till tomorrow when I get to become his wife. You wanna hear a secret Lisa?"
"Do tell?"
"Well, you know that Kevin and I haven't been together yet right?"

"Are you serious, I thought you would have let that go along time ago? What in the world? A man with a body like that and you haven't taken advantage of it? Girl are you ill?" She laughed

"Well Kevin told me he didn't mind waiting on me and I want our first time to be special. Well, now it will be. I mean we get to spend our first night together in our new house, a house that no one has ever been in before except us, in our new bed. God Lisa, I'm so nervous. What if I disappoint him?"

"You won't Cass, just love him that's all he'll need?" We hugged.

"Cass, Can I see your dress?"

"Sure" I got up to get the dress from the closet.

"So Kev, you ready for the big day?" AJ, Nick and Kevin were sitting in the living room.

"Yeah, I'm so excited, I mean, I can't wait for Cass to be my wife."

"You're a lucky man." Nick spoke up.

"You think so Nicky?" Kevin looked at him.

"Yeah, Cass is great. I mean you can just look at her and see how much she loves you. I wish I could find someone that would look at me like that?"

"You will man, you will, just give it time" He took a swig of his tea and sat the glass back on the side table.

"Yeah Nicky, your still young give it time?" AJ chimed in.

"Hey Kev?"

"Yeah Nick?"
"How much do you know about Lisa?"

"Why Nicky, she caught your eye?" AJ and Kevin exchanged glances.

"Well, she's just nice, and she very pretty. I was just thinking that maybe I could get to know her better? Ya Know?"

"Well, I haven't heard Cass mention that she has a boyfriend or anything like that. If that's what you're asking?"
"Well, yeah, that's good?" Nick began to fumble with words.

"Hey Nicky, I'll put a bug in Cass's ear if ya want me to?" Kevin asked.

"That would be cool man, thanks" the conversation was interrupted when Brian and Leighanne and Howie came thru the door.

"Hey cuz."

"Hey Bri, Leigh, Howie" Kevin stood up and gave them all a hug.

"So where's the Bride to Be?" Leigh asked.

"Her and Lisa are upstairs, head on up if ya wanna, I'm sure they won't mind" with that she gave Brian a kiss and headed up the stairs.

"So Bri, how's it going at your mom's" Kevin asked.

"Man, It's crazy! Right Howie." "Oh yeah, women everywhere, flowers, food, lights, music. We should hire these ladies to run the tour, I bet everything would be perfect." They all laughed.

"Your mom is like a drill instructor, everything has to be perfect for her baby...." Brian did an impression of Mama Ann and everyone started laughing.

"Well, sometimes it pays to be the baby." Kevin laughed.

"Man, it's gonna be nice. They really have gone all out."

"Yeah, mama says that Cass and I can't see it till tomorrow when we get there for the wedding"

"Cass" Leighanne tapped on the door to the bedroom. "Can I come in?"

"LEIGH" Cass squealed and jumped up to hug her as she came thru the door.

"Now everything is perfect. I have both of you here with me and I'm marrying Kevin in less than 24 hrs!"

Cass began to dance around the room.

"Is this the dress?" Leigh was looking at the garment bag hanging on the closet door.

"The one and only." Cass smiled. "I was just getting ready to show it to Lisa, wanna see?"
"OH yes" Lisa and Leigh climbed up on the bed while I went to the bathroom to put on my dress.

"READY OR NOT" I yelled and threw open the bathroom door. I walked out to the middle of the bedroom. SILENCE.

"What's the matter you two, oh god, you don't like it. Kevin's going to hate it" I stood there on the brink of tears.

"OMG" they both yelled at the same time and stood up to come over by me.

"Cass, this is gorgeous" Lisa said.

"Kevin's going to die" Leigh chimed in.

My dress was a white satin strapless a-line dress. It was fitted at the top with little rhinestones covering all around the top trim. The tight bodice accentuated my hips where the white skirt flowed out wards towards my feet. There was a small train off the back and the bottom of the train was also covered in little rhinestones. My veil was held in place by a tiara and the train was my mothers that she wore when she married my father. It had a hand sewn lace design cupping around my face and flowed all the way down trailing slightly behind the hem of my dress.

"WOW, foxy mama!" I turned to see AJ standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

"ALEX!! Where's Kevin" I screamed.

"He's downstairs, he sent me up to see if you girls wanted to come down and have some pizza with us?" it's all cool. He knows better than to come up here and spy on his pretty lady." AJ winked.

"God you scared me." I sat on the edge of the bed holding my hands to my chest.

"Hey Cass, I'm sorry, I just saw you standing there and, well, man Kev's one lucky man. I hope he knows what he's got." AJ kneeled in front of me taking my hands in his.

"You think so Aje?"
"Yeah, I do, Cass your beautiful. I bet you $10 bucks Kev cries the moment he lays eyes on you in this dress."
"Well, I don't know about that."

"I do" Leighanne chimed in. "Girl you look amazing and Kevin is going to be so proud tomorrow. We all will be crying."

"Yep, hey and can I tell you how lucky I am cause it's my best friend he's getting to marry. He should feel honored." Lisa chimed in.

"YOU GUYS" tears threatened to spill down my cheeks.

"AJ don't you breath a word" I looked at him.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Kev needs the whole effect tomorrow, I couldn't take that from him. Besides, I love ya Cass I wouldn't do anything to spoil your day."
"Thanks AJ, I love you too." I gave him a hug.

"Ok, tell the others we'll be down in a few. I need to get out of this dress before I have anymore surprise visitors." I stood to go change. AJ sat down on the bed next to Lisa and Leigh.

"AJ?"
"What I got to see you in your dress first, only fair I get to see you out of it first?"
The pillows began to fly.

"ALEXANDER MCLEAN" I yelled.

"I'm going, I'm going." I could hear him laughing all the way down the stairs.

"Man oh Man" AJ entered the living room rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"What's up bone?" Kevin asked.

"Man, that is one HOT woman up there" AJ smirked at Brian and Nick.

"Hey, that's my woman" Kevin shot a look at AJ.

"Yeah, she's in that dress and " before AJ could finish Kevin had jumped up and was running up the stairs. When he reached the top the door to the bedroom flew open.

"Hey boo"

"UH, Hey babe"
"What'cha doing up here, I told AJ we'd be right down"
"Well, I. I uh. I was going to get something out of my bedroom." The sweat started to pour.

"UH HUH...I think that AJ told you he saw me in my dress and you thought you would sneak a peek?" I began to tap my foot as I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to give an angry look.

"Oh darlin, I would never..."

"KEVIN SCOTT! Are you going to stand there and tell me that you didn't just run up these stairs and try to ruin your surprise for tomorrow?"
"Well" He looked shyly at the floor.

"Well that does it. There will be no wedding tomorrow." I turned to go back in the room. I was trying to not let Kevin see me smile.

"OH Darlin. Now don't say that. I just can't wait till tomorrow, and it's not fair that bone got to see you already and I haven't" OH I had him now.

"Well then I guess then if you want to see me in my dress then you want to see me out of it too, I mean, if your jealous of AJ..."

"WHAT!!!!.......AJ SAW YOU OUT OF YOUR DRESS.." I burst out laughing as Kevin spun and headed back down the stairs yelling the whole time. Lisa, Leigh and I took off after him laughing.

"BONE!!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU" Kevin stormed into the living room. AJ turned unsure of why Kevin seemed so angry.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TRYING TO SEE MY FIANCE' WITHOUT HER DRESS ON" by this time Kevin was towering over AJ who was seated on the couch next to Brian.

"Oh crap" She told you. AJ tried to pull Brian in front of him.

"NOWAY man you did this to yourself, I'm outta here." Brian jumped up and joined the girls and me at the doorway to the room. Nick and Howie were laughing over in the corner at the site of AJ trying to hide from Kevin.

"No man, it's not like that at all"

"THEN TELL ME WHAT"S IT"S LIKE BONE" Kevin was getting angrier by the second.

"Come on Cass help me out" them brown eyes pleading with me.

"Well Kevin, he did say that it was only fair that if he was the first to see me in my dress then he should be the first to see me out" I tried to hold back the laughter.

"OH Shit" with that AJ was running towards the back door yelling. "That's not funny Cass you tell him that I didn't see you without your dress on, he's going to kill me" AJ was running across the back yard with Kevin hot on his trail.

"But AJ?" I laughed. Brian, Nick, Howie, Leigh, Lisa and I were enjoying watching this show.

"OK, Hey Kev?"

"Yes babe" Kevin grabbed hold of AJ's shirt and had him by the collar.

"AJ didn't see a thing" I turned to go back into the house. Satisfied that I had gotten the both of them. Before I knew what had happened, Kevin had picked me up in his arms and was toting me to the pool.

"PUT ME DOWN" I began to squirm and yell at Kevin.

"NOPE" He said. I could see the mischief in his eyes and knew I was in for it.

"KEVIN please put me down boo" I began to talk in a soft voice.

"NOPE" he continued to make his way to the pool.

"KEVIN SCOTT RICHARDSON, you put me down this instant" I began to yell.

"You think that you can get away with getting me all hot and bothered and there be no consequences for you to pay. Well, sorry darlin that's not the way this works." He was standing next to the pool. "I think someone needs to cool off." About that time he decided to drop me. I grabbed for his neck and held on for dear life. Kevin didn't realize that I was going to grab hold and he lost his balance. We both wound up in the deep end. I came up and swam over to him and dunked him before swimming over to the side of the pool. He joined me

"I think the two of you need to cool off" we both looked up to find Mama Ann standing there. Everyone burst out laughing. I slid over and put my arms around Kevin's neck whispering.

"If you think your hot and bothered now, wait till tomorrow night Mr. Richardson." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Is that a promise?" he whispered back.

"Yep, and don't worry, you will be the only one to see me out of that dress" he turned and captured my lips with his. We got lost in the kiss and were suddenly bombarded by everyone jumping in the pool around us.

"Well, guess we'll just make it a pool party then huh?" we all laughed and splashed around talking about the plans for tomorrow.

"Hey Leigh?"

"Yeah, Cass." We were sitting on the steps to the pools watching the boy's chicken fight.

"Lisa and I would love it if you would crash here tonight with us? What do you say? One last girls night?"

"Oh that would be great. I think that Kevin's going to crash over at Jackie and Harold's with Brian and the other boys. Cass?"

"Yeah"

"Congratulations and thanks for letting me be part of it"

"Oh Leigh, you know your next right and I want to be right there for you when it does"

"I hope so Cass and I wouldn't want it any other way"

At 11:30pm the boys all piled up in the Expedition to head to the Littrell's for the evening.

"Night darlin" Kevin pulled me into his arms.

"Night boo. I can't wait till tomorrow."

"Really"

"Yep, I get to become Mrs. Kevin Scott Richardson"
"I like the sound of that"

"I do too."

"Well, you better go, the others are waiting." We wrapped our arms around each other pulling each other closer, our foreheads pressed against each other.

"Well, I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Yep, I'll be the one wearing the white dress"
"I love you Cass"

"I love you too Kevin. Thank you"

"For what"

"For everything. I'll see ya tomorrow"

"OH yeah boo"

"Yeah darling"

"Lisa kinda has a crush on Nick, think you can drop a hint?"

"Yep, guess what?"
"What?"

"Nick kinda has a crush on Lisa, you wanna do your thing?"

"Will do."

We kissed goodnight and I headed back into the house. God I would never go to sleep. I was marrying my dream tomorrow.
Chapter 6 by 2liveis2luv
I awoke to the sun streaming thru the windows casting a glare on the hardwood floors. Lisa and Leigh had piled up on the bed in Tim's old room so I sat there all alone just staring at the new morning sky. Well, Cass, today's the day; my mind began to wander through today's schedule. The girls and I had a hairdresser arriving at 2:00pm then the photographer would be here at 4:00. We would head to the stream by 5:30 and the wedding would start around 6:00pm. We didn't have to be precise on time since the guest list was so small. I opened my suitcase and got out only the things that were necessary for me to have before the wedding. Brian was coming by in an hour to get my bags and take them to the cabin. Oh, the cabin. The place where Kevin and I will finally become one, I can't believe I'm so nervous about this. I mean I'm not dumb and I know what happens between a man and a woman physically, but this was so different. I will be giving myself to Kevin completely. I was scared and excited at the same time.

Oh mama, I wish you were here. There are so many questions in my mind. I know that your here with me, but I could use a hug right now. The tears began to slide down my cheek. I must have spoken the words out loud. I turned my head when I heard her voice.

"Will I do?" Mama Ann came and sat on the bed beside me.

"Yes mam, how did you know?"
"Well, I will never try to take your mother's place dear, but know that I will think of you as one of my own and I will always be here for you. Cass, I am so happy that you and Kevin are getting married. I knew from the moment I met you and saw you two together that it was the real thing."
"Mama Ann, I'm so nervous about tonight. Maybe I shouldn't talk about this with you?"

"No honey it's fine. Really, tonight is going to be so special for both you and Kevin. I'm proud to know that you have saved yourself for my son. Just know that it will all be ok. The first time can be very scary, but trust Kevin to know what to do as well as yourself. Just let the love you two feel for each other guide you and it will all be ok. Cass, it's such a connection when you and your husband make love. You meet on a different plane, a place that no two other people will ever be or will know. It's a private place for just you and him. Cherish it, it's not something to be taken lightly."
"Thanks Mama Ann, that's the way I've always felt. I know that Kevin is the one and I'm ready. I'm just so excited and nervous. Can I show you something?"

"Sure hon, what is it"

"I walked over to the dresser and pulled out a ring box"
"This is Kevin's ring, he picked it out, but I added to it. I wanted you to see it."
Mama Ann opened the box.

















"It's beautiful" It was a platinum band with 5 diamonds on it.

"Look on the inside" I whispered.

"Yours and Yours Alone - Cass and Kev June 28 2001."
"Oh Cass, that's wonderful. Kevin will love it"

"I just hope he understands it Mama Ann, from tonight on I am his and his alone." We sat there in the quite sharing a hug. I knew that she would always be there for me when I needed her and I thanked god for giving me a second mother.



Everything was a buzz. The girls and I got our hair and makeup done and went upstairs to get dressed. I slipped into my gown and began to feel like Cinderella. Leigh and Lisa were dressed in Black and White strapless gowns. They were form fitting and I knew that it would catch the eyes of two blondes who would be at the wedding.

"Ok, something blue...." Lisa started.

"GARTER right here....'' Laughed Leighanne

"Something Old"

"My mom's hanky" I held up my hand.

"Something New" I began to laugh...

"WHAT?" they both looked at me....

"New white bra and panties...just like Kevin likes." We all burst out laughing.

"Something borrowed?"

"Oh, I forgot that one?' Lisa and Leighanne looked at each other, about the time that Mama Anne came in the room.

"I got that one." She held out her hand. She was holding a beautiful white bible.

"This was the bible I carried when I married Jerald. I would be honored if you would carry it" I tried to stop the tears but I didn't make it in time.

"Oh Mama Ann, I would be the one that is honored, thank you so much" We hugged.

"Ok, you three ready to go" She straightened herself and looked at us.

"Let's go get that son of mine married" She turned and headed down the stairs.

This was it. The moment I had been waiting for.



We arrived just beyond the clearing and I met my father. He was so handsome.

"Well baby, this is it. You sure about this?" He had tears in his eyes.

"Never more certain daddy, I love Kevin and he loves me"

"I know baby, but well it's just hard to let you go"

"Oh daddy, your not letting me go, your just allowing me to hold another's hand, I'll always be your little princess"

"Yes you will. Kevin's a good man Cass. I know that he will take good care of you"
"And I will take care of him."

"I know that. I love you Cass. You have been the sunshine of my life for so long now. I'm so proud of you and what you've become. I don't think that any father could be happier than I am right now. Hey, you remember this?"

He pulled a locket box from his pocket.









"Yes Daddy, I still wear that locket." I fingered the locket around my neck. On my 16th birthday my daddy had given me a heart shaped locket that had a key that unlocked it. On the inside of the locket was inscribed. He who holds the key holds my heart" My daddy was wearing the key on a chain around his neck. He reached out and touched the locket on my neck. "One last time?"

"Sure daddy, but you'll always have a piece of my heart. I love you daddy" we embraced as the wedding march began to play.

I laced my arms in my daddies and we walked around the corner. I could see the stream in front of us. Kevin and the Minster were standing by the willow tree. Kevin was looking at the ground. There were thousands of twinkling lights intertwined in the willow branches. White roses everywhere and white rose petals covering the ground. All the boys were dressed in Black Tux's with tails; all except Kevin .He was dressed in all white. They all looked so handsome. All of the guest were standing around in a semi circle. Lisa and Leigh made their way to the front. I could hardly catch my breath as I neared Kevin. Slowly as I drew closer he lifted his head to look at me. Oh those eyes. They were beautiful. I saw a shimmer as a tear made it's way down Kevin's cheek. "WOW, you were right" I could see him mouthing to AJ. Like a slow motion picture I walked close to Kevin. We stopped just short of him and the minister.

The minister began to speak.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"
"I do" my father stepped forward taking my hand and placing it on Kevin's. When our hands touched I could feel the electricity setting my insides on fire.

"Just a moment please" My father turned to Kevin.

"Kevin. Since the Day that Cass was born she has always been my princess. My pride and Joy. On the day she turned 16 I gave her this necklace and I have always held the key to her heart. Today Kevin. I give that key to you. All I ask is that you guard her heart the way I have done for the last 28 years and just love her. She will always be my little girl but today she becomes your wife. I love you son as if you were my own and I now give my daughter to you." With that he unclasped the necklace from around his neck and placed it in Kevin's hands' and embraced Kevin in a hug.

"Thank you sir. I'm honored and I promise I will always do my best to make sure that Cass is loved and cherished." He whispered in my dad's ear. He took the necklace and put it on. My dad turned and gave me a kiss and went to stand by Mama Ann.

Kevin took a step towards me. We were now facing each other.



"You are so beautiful," he whispered.

"So are you" I replied.

"Sure about this?"

"Absolutely" we both turned to look at the minister.

















"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today....." I could hear the wind blowing thru the willows. I will never forget that sound, or the sound that the water made as it made it's way over the rocks it calmed all my nerves.



"Do you Kevin Scott Richardson, take Cassidy Lynn Nicholson to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do"

"Do you Cassidy Lynn Nicholson, take Kevin Scott Richardson to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do"

"I believe that the couple has written their own vows which they will now exchange with each other. Kevin?"



"Cass, where do I begin? I stand here before you and I remember the very first day we met. You were so cute and innocent and the guys and I couldn't believe that you didn't recognize us. But I think that's what attracted me to you to begin with. You captured my heart that day and you never let it go. Please don't ever let it go Cass. I can't imagine my life with out you in it. You are what makes me wake each morning and why I do what I do. As long as I know that you will be there with me I know that I can do anything. You give me strength when I need it, unfailing love when I don't deserve it and happiness that I never new existed. I am so glad that you agreed to be my wife, but also not only my wife, but my lover and most of all MY BEST FRIEND. No matter where time takes us or where this road leads just know Cass that I will always be here to protect you and love you. "



"Kevin. You are the light that awakens my darkest places; you are the road that leads me home. I know that as long as I have you here beside me everything will always be ok. You have shown me what true love is and I thank you for that. You have not only given me love you haven given me great friends and a new family. I can never tell you in words how honored I am to become your wife today. I can't wait for the rest of our lives knowing that you will be there for every minute. You are my best friend. Thank you for loving me and for allowing me to love you. Just know that from today forward Kevin, I will be yours and yours alone."
We exchanged rings and then Nick, Brian, AJ and Howie sang."

"As much as both Kevin and Cass have given and received rings and have committed themselves one to another it is my privilege to pronounce them husband and wife. You may kiss your bride"



Kevin took a step closer placing one hand on the small of my back and caressing the back of my neck with the other. Ever so gently he kissed me allowing our lips to intertwine for just the briefest of moments but saying magnitudes of words.











"Whhhhhooooooo" the yells and echoes of the congratulations brought us back to reality.

We took the time to hug everyone. It was so beautiful. We all made our way over to the tables to sit and eat.



"Hey Cass" Lisa came over to Kevin and me.

"Yeah"

"God Cass, that was beautiful. You two had me bawling like a baby."

"Sorry, guess it's just that mushy love stuff." We laughed.

"Well, I wanted to say thanks again and tell you two how happy I am for you both. But now that you're married you better not forget about me." We hugged. About that time Nick came up.

"Hey Kevin, the photographer would like for you and Cass to come over by the willow."

"Ok, thanks Nick."
"Come my wife" he grabbed my hand.

"Yes my husband" we laughed.

" Hey Lisa" Nick was playing with the toe of his shoe in the dirt.

"Hey Nick"

"The wedding was really beautiful wasn't it"?

"Yeah it was. Cass made a pretty bride, Kevin better be good to her"

"Oh he will, don't worry"

"Well, what are your plans for the rest of the summer Mr. Carter?"

"Well, we have to be in Orlando in 5 days to start rehearsals and then we go back out on tour."

"How bout you"

"Well, my job just transferred me permanently to Orlando so I'm going to be house hunting day after tomorrow"

‘Really, I could show you around if you want me to"

"Really, I'd love that."

"Hey, wanna dance"

"Yeah" Nick took Lisa's hand and led her to the dance floor.

"You look really pretty tonight Lisa"

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself" They danced and talked for the rest of the night.



"Kevin" Mama Ann reached out and took Kevin's arm

"Yes mama"

"Kevin, I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I know that your father would have loved to have been here today. He would have loved Cass as much as I do." Tears welled up in both of their eyes.

"Kevin, Take care of her, she loves you so much"

"I will mama, I love her too. I know that dad was watching, I could feel him. Thank you for everything mama, this could not have turned out more perfect. " Ann turned to walk away.





"Oh no you don't'" Kevin took his moms hands and led her to the dance floor.

"May I have this dance?" he bowed towards his mother.

He encircled her in his arms and slowly began to dance as the 4 other boys began to sing.



It takes a lot to know what is love It's not the big things, but the little things That can mean enough A lot of prayers to get me through And there is never a day that passes by I don't think of you, you were always there for me Pushing me and guiding me Always to succeed You showed me When I was young just how to grow You showed me Everything that I should know You showed me Just how to walk without your hands 'Cause mom you always were The perfect fan God has been so good Blessing me with a family Who did all they could And I've had many years of grace And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face I wanna thank you for what you've done In hopes I can give back to you And be the perfect son You showed me When I was young just how to grow You showed me Everything that I should know You showed me Just how to walk without your hands 'Cause mom you always were The perfect fan You showed me how to love You showed me how to care And you showed me that you would always be there I wanna thank you for that time And I'm proud to say you're mine You showed me When I was young just how to grow You showed me Everything that I should know You showed me Just how to walk without your hands 'Cause mom you always were The perfect fan 'Cause mom you always were, mom you always were Mom you always were, you know you always were' Cause mom you always wereThe perfect fan
"I Love you mom," Kevin whispered in her ear before kissing her on the cheek. Tears were falling from both of their eyes.


"Hey pumpkin" Cass's dad slid his arm around her and embraced her in a hug.

"Hey daddy, thank you for everything daddy. I love you."
"I love you too pumpkin, just don't forget where your old man lives now you here?"

"I won't. Daddy?"
"Uh Huh?"
"Will you dance with me?"
"It'll be my pleasure." Cass and her dad headed out to the dance floor.

Just once upon a yesterday
I held you in my arms
You grew into a little girl
with lovely childhood charms
Now it seems I only turned around
And I see you by his side
Oh, I can't believe my eyes today
My Daughter is a Bride

I guess somehow I always knew
This day would soon be here
Still I wonder as I look at you
What became of all the years
And no words could ever quite express
The way I feel inside
Oh, I can't believe my eyes today
My Daughter is a Bride

All the laughter and the teardrops
The sunshine and the rain
I would relive every moment, Dear
If I could bring them all back again

But now, My Love, the time has come
To send you on your way
So I wish you every happiness
And the blessings of this day
And I hope the love I've given you
Will forever be your guide
Oh, I can't believe my eyes today
My daughter - Oh, I can't believe my eyes
My Daughter - Oh, my angel and my pride
My Daughter is a Bride

By the end of the dance Cass was bawling. Kevin took her in his arms.
"You Ok darlin?"
"Yeah, it's just so much to take in."











The boys began to gather around and make their toasts to the happy couple.

"Kev, man what can I say." AJ began to playfully wipe at tears "This has been beautiful man. I mean. I knew your bride would be hot and all, but damn"

"Watch it bud" Kevin grinned.

"Naw really. Cass and Kevin. You two have given us all something to believe in. I hope that all your dreams come true and we get to see lots of little Richardson's soon. HERE, HERE" AJ lifted his glass. I saw the sparkle in Kevin's eyes.



"OK, OK, my turn. Well here's to love everyone. Way to go you two. Let's Party"

"Thanks NICK" Kevin yelled.



"Cuz, you know that you mean the world to me. We've been through thick and thin together, well man. This is great. I've always known that you would meet someone like Cass and end up in your happily ever after. Well, thanks for letting us be a part of it all. Here's to many more years and lot's of loving." Leighanne hit Brian and we all laughed.



"Kevin. It's been great having the chance to watch all of this come to light. You two are amazing. Thanks so much for showing us all that true love does exist. Love you guys." Howie sat down next to Mama Ann.

Tim and Jerald also gave their speeches and then a song slowly began to play.

When I'm lost in the rain, In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way. And when I'm scared and losing ground;
When my world is going crazy, You can turn it all around. And when I'm down you're there; pushing me to the top.
You're always there; giving me all you've got. For a shield from the storm; For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm,I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;For the will to carry on;
For everything you do; For everything that's true,
I turn to you. When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything, 'Cause your love is so amazing;
'cause your love inspires me. And when I need a friend,
you're always on my side; Giving me faith that gets me through the night. For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain;
For truth that will never change; For someone to lean on;
for a heart I can rely on through anything; (you can rely on me)
For that one who I can run to....
I turn to you. I turn to you... by Christina Aguilar.



Kevin and Cass danced in each others arms lost in the words of that song. They knew that from this day forward no matter what they would be there for each other helping each other thru whatever life threw at them. They would be each other's shelter and protector, friend and lover. They were lost, just staring in each other's eyes, listening to the sound of the wind blowing in the willows.



Everyone sat mesmerized at the sight of such a perfect love. They were blessed to get to be a part and see it all taking place. Little did they know that in the years to come these two would need them to help them celebrate in many joyous events but also to help them through some tragedies.



Everyone began to say his or her goodnights and leave. Nick and Lisa were standing arm in arm by the willows.

"Well guys, this is it"

"Yep, we want to thank you for everything"
"No thank you. I think that Lisa and I here are going to see where this road we've begun on leads to" Nick smiled at Lisa.

"Call me when you get to Orlando, Ok Cass" Lisa smiled at Cass.
"I will, and you take care of her Nicky. She's special to me."

"Oh I will Cass I will" Nick and Lisa headed off to the Littrell's.

"Well you two will be next" I looked at Leigh and Brian.

"WHOA there." Brian said half laughing.

"Well. We'll see who's right" I laughed.

We all hugged and said our goodnights.



Kevin and I were standing there, under our willow tree, next to our stream, thousands of little lights twinkling above us, the sounds of soft music playing behind us. We were alone.

"Well, Mrs. Richardson, may I have this dance"

"Why Mr. Richardson, of course you may" he encircled me with his arms drawing me closer to his body. I could smell him and feel him. Every never in my body was screaming out at the same time.

"Perfect Day" I mumbled

"Yet, but going to be a more perfect night."

"Yep" We just swayed to the music, in no hurry to go anywhere, we where exactly where we wanted to be.























"So Kevin"

"Yeah"
"I recall someone telling me that he was going to make love to me right here by this willow on our wedding night?"
"You know anyone who might have made that promise?"
"Well my dear, I do intend to make love to my wife under this willow, but not for the first time were together. I have something much more special in mind for that"
"Oh Really?"

"Yeah, you ready?"
"Uh Huh"
Kevin picked me up and began toting me towards the house. As we got to the front door he bumped it with his foot. Inside a fire was going in the fireplace and hundreds of candles filled the room. White rose petals led all the way to our bedroom. He stepped in side and stood me down in front of him.

"Welcome home Mrs. Richardson" and he bent to kiss me.

"Tonight Kevin, I become all yours" and he shut the front door and locked it.
Chapter 7 by 2liveis2luv
As the door closed Kevin pulled me too him. I was so nervous.

“You cold darlin?” he could feel me shiver as his hands touched my skin.

“No” I said looking up into the green eyes. I could see the love and passion flickering with the lights of the fireplace.

“Want something to drink” he started to walk towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, that would be nice. Kevin?”

“Yeah” He turned back towards me.

“I’m gonna go change, ok?”

“Sure, I’ll just wait for you over by the fireplace, wine ok?”

“Yeah” I reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. I began to walk towards our bedroom. Oh god. This was it. I was alone with him and we were married. I knew that I wanted to make love to Kevin but I was so scared. He was experienced and I was still a virgin. “Please God, don’t let me let him down,” I prayed as I closed the bedroom door behind me. I walked to the bathroom and unzipped my dress letting it fall to the floor. I scooped down and picked it up and carried it to the closet. I caught a glimpse of my left hand. Kevin had asked the jeweler that had created my engagement ring to fashion my wedding band as well. It was an eternity band that alternated in emeralds and diamonds. “I’m Mrs. Richardson,” I said to myself. I couldn’t keep Kevin waiting any longer. I went back to the bathroom and began to run a brush thru my hair. I brushed it until it shown like black silk. I slipped in to the silky nightgown. It was white, floor length with a slit all the way up to the thigh. It had spaghetti straps. The bodice was decorated with tiny pearls and sequins. It clung to every curve of my body. I slipped into the sheer robe that came with it and sprayed myself with perfume and headed toward the door. DEEP BREATH…. I reached for the doorknob and felt the handle turn.

I could see Kevin standing at the fireplace, his back to me. He had changed as well. He was wearing a pair of white silk pajama pants and no shirt. The fire illuminated his caramel skin and outlined his muscles. It took my breath away to see him standing there.

“Hey Boo,” I said shyly. He turned from the fire.

“Wow” he whispered.

“You Like” I spun around.

“No, I love” he held out his hand to me. As our hands touched a feeling unlike any I’ve ever felt shot through my body. He pulled me into his arms.

“Your beautiful” he whispered into my hair.

“Thank you, so are you,”

“Wanna sit on the couch” I could feel him shaking. Was he as nervous as I was?
“Yeah” he led me to the couch and we sat down, I snuggled into his side. We sat sipping the wine listening to the music play and watching the fire dance.

“This place is beautiful,” I said looking around. “When did you find the time?”

“I didn’t, Bri, Howie, Nick and AJ did when they came up to bring our things from the car. Remind me to thank them. I would’ve done the same thing, but I was a little busy today” His hand gently caressed my arm.

“Yeah, you did have something important to do today, but I forget what it was?”
”You forget huh. Well seems to me that I got lucky today?”
”You did! But I thought you had a girlfriend” I played with his pants leg.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend” I could see the smile creeping over his face.

“Really, that’s not what I heard”
”Well, you heard wrong, you see I went and got myself a wife today”

“A wife, oh my, maybe I should leave” I started to sit up.

“I don’t think so darlin.” He pulled me into his lap and gathered me in his arms.

“Now that I got you I’m never letting you go” he lips crashed on to mine. I couldn’t keep my head from spinning, I had to pull back or I was going to faint.

“Kevin” I tried to speak, but my breath failed me.

“Yes darlin” just then I Turn To You started to play on the CD player.

“Dance with me”

“My pleasure” we stood before the fireplace wrapped in each other’s arms. Sharing kisses and looks of desire. I finally understood what Mama Ann had said about being in a place that no one else knows exists.

“Kevin”

“Uh Huh” He stopped dancing and looked at me. Those eyes, those gorgeous green eyes. I could see the love that he had for me in them. I could feel how tender he was being with me, I knew what he needed and I knew that it was all going to be all right.

“Make love to me?” a tear escaped my eye. He caught it with his thumb and gently stroked my cheek.

“Are you sure, there’s no hurry we have all night”

“Kevin, I’m sure, I want to be with you in everyway. You are my everything, and I love you so much. Kevin, make me yours.” He lifted me into his arms and headed towards the bedroom. I had taken the time to turn back the bed before I came out.

He gently laid me down on the soft feather bed and climbed in beside me. His right hand holding behind my back while the other traced down the side of my body. I could feel chills each time he caressed me. He began to kiss me, slowly leaving my lips and moving to my neck. OH GOD, what was he doing to me? I had never felt so safe and scared at the same time. So loved and wanted.
”Cass”

“Yeah boo”

“I love you, I promise that I will take care of you for the rest of our life’s. Trust me, let me love you”

“I do Kevin, I love you too.”


Kevin spent the next few hours showing me what it was like to be loved by a man. I never knew that love could be or feel so perfect. He was so gentle and caring, always making sure I was ok. As we lay there in the early morning hours holding each other, tears began to make their way down my face.
“Hey darlin” he rolled up to lean over me as he felt the tear fall on his chest.

“Yeah” I tried to stop the tears.

“You ok, I didn’t hurt you did I”
”No Kevin, No. You were wonderful. Kevin, it’s just that, God I feel so stupid. It’s just that I have never felt love like that before. I mean so complete, so fulfilling, and so perfect. I never knew that I was capable of loving someone so much. I understand why this is so precious now. I’m so thankful that I got to share this with you. Thank you, thank you for loving me.”
”Oh babe, “ I could see a tear escape his eyes.” NO its me that should be thanking you, I too never understood how perfect this can be, how special and sacred. Tonight you shared; no we shared something that is beyond words. I love you so much.” He bent down and kissed me again.

“Kevin”
”Yeah” He rolled back over and pulled me into him tight.

“Can we do it again?” I giggled.

“Oh yeah, anytime you want darlin” He rolled on top of me. I pushed him up.

“What’s the matter, I thought you said you wanted to” He looked lost.

I stood from the bed and put my robe on.

“I do” I began to grab a blanket from under the bed.
”Then get back in this bed.” The sheet fell from his lap. I caught my breath.

“NOPE”

“NOPE, what’dya mean nope. WOMAN” He began to move.

“My husband promised me that he would make love to me under the willows on our wedding night and I intend to make him keep that promise.” I began to turn to leave the room. I could hear him behind me.

“Well all you had to do was say so,” He said as he scooped me up and headed to the front door.

We made our way to the stream. Kevin spread the blanket out under the tree. He was standing there in his white pajama bottoms. The wind slightly blowing the legs of his pants. The twinkling lights had been left on and gave a soft glow to the tree. The stars were beautiful, it was so amazing to see them above us along with the reflection of the full moon breaking in the ripples of the stream. Kevin took a step towards the stream allowing his back to be towards me. I walked up behind him slipping my hands around his waist. His hands held tight to mine and I laid my head on his back. We stood there in the silence just holding to each other, listening to the sounds of the willows blowing in the breeze. I began to feel him shudder.


“You ok boo,” I whispered.

“Yeah.” I could hear it in his voice.

“Talk to me” I said

“It’s just so amazing Cass, I mean this is all I’ve ever wanted and now I have it. I’m scared that I’m going to wake up and find that I’m dreaming”
”Hey, remember what you told me. If your dreaming then I don’t wont you to wake up either.”

He turned and pulled me into his arms.

“How’d I get so lucky” He asked

“You loved me Kevin, that’s all, you just loved me”
”Yeah, I do love you” He picked me up and carried me back to the blanket. We made love and lay there watching the sun come up over the ridge.

The next day we spent organizing the house and making love. It was so wonderful. We decided to take a walk up to Mama Ann’s that afternoon.

“Hey mama, you here” Kevin yelled out as we walked into the back door.

“OH My, the newlywed.” She came out from the living room. “Now what are you two doing here, you should be spending time in that new house of your” we both caught her grin.
”We love you to mama” He picked his mom up and spun her around and set her back down. I walked over and gave her a hug.

“We just thought we’d take a walk and come say hi” I walked over and snuggled up next to Kevin

“Oh well then, HI. You two want something to drink” she turned towards the cabinet and began to get glasses out.

“Sure” we sat at the kitchen table. She fixed the glasses and came to sit with us.

“Mama Ann” I looked at her and took Kevin’s hands in mine.

“Yes hon” She looked up at us.

“We want to thank you for everything. Yesterday was more than we could’ve imagined and I know that was mostly because of you. You made our day so special and I know that there is no way we could ever repay you.” Kevin’s grip tightened in mine.

“Oh honey, you don’t have to thank me. It was my pleasure. I never had a daughter so this was my chance. Besides, I wanted to make sure that you two had the wedding you wanted” She wiped a tear from her eyes.

“It was and more,” Kevin began to speak.

“Mama it was perfect because I got to marry Cass.”
“Oh Kevin. I popped him on the shoulder”

“NO I’m serious that’s what made it perfect to me, who I married, not where or when or how. Those were just the extra bonuses.”
”Your right Kevin. I felt the same way when I married your father.”
”Speaking of which, “ I reached for my backpack. Kevin looked at me not sure as to what I was doing.

“Here ya go” I pulled out the little white bible and laid it in Mama Ann’s hands.
“Thank you so much for allowing me to use that in our wedding.”
”What’s that?” Kevin asked. Mama Ann sat there running her fingers over the soft leather of the bible.

“This is the bible I carried on the day I married your father. Cass didn’t have anything for the borrowed part of her attire yesterday so I let her borrow this.” She held the bible to her chest.

“Cass?” Kevin looked at me.

“She offered and I was honored. Kevin it meant a lot to me to know that your mama believed in us enough to allow us to use that bible. I know that I should have told you I had it, but well, it was just so special to me and …” my voice began to tremble.

“No Cass, don’t cry, it’s fine. I just wish I would have known” He pulled me into his side.

“Mama, thank you. That means a lot to me too.” I knew that Daddy was there, watching, this just makes it a little better. We sat around talking about the wedding and the upcoming plans for the tour. We stayed and ate dinner and then headed back to the house.

“I’ll race you,” I said as we reached the clearing in front of the house.

“Loser has to scrub the winners back.”

“Your On” he took off running towards the house. I began to run and then slowed down watching him race towards our house. I just watched in amazement as that man, my husband headed towards our home. God life was good. I could picture him running around the yard with our kids and throwing them in the air. I knew that Kevin wanted kids and I knew that I wanted them with him. I decided that I would wait till our sixth month anniversary and ask him when he would want to be a father.

“ARE YOU COMING?” I could hear him hollering from the front porch.

“YEAH” I took off running. I made it to the porch and jumped into his arms.

“You lost” he smiled at me.

“I know, I wanted to scrub”
”Scrub away darlin, scrub away” Kevin carried me to the bathroom and shut the door.


The next few days we spent just being together. We would spend the mornings in the bed just talking about our future or making love. We would have picnic lunches by the stream. We were flying back to Orlando tomorrow so Kevin could begin rehearsals. We spent out last night making love under the stars and the branches of the willow tree. We always knew that no matter what the willow would always be our place to be together. Little did we know how special it would be to us in the years to come? During this time, Sarah had put out the announcement on MTV of our wedding. No interviews just a statement. That was the first time we met you Sarah.


We arrived in Orlando on the 1st of July. It was hot and steamy and the airport was so crowded.

“This way man” Jimmy hollered at Kevin.

Kevin took my hand and began to pull me through the airport.
”OMG, IT”S KEVIN FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS” two teenage girls began to squeal.

“IS THAT HIS WIFE?” the other remarked.

“Hang on to me baby” Kevin turned and looked at me with seriousness in his eyes. This was my first experience of the BSB mania.

“KEVIN, KEVIN, KEVY” shouts were coming from everywhere. Jimmy was in front of us pushing his way through the crowd as it began to encircle around us. I could see the sliding doors just in front of us. Kevin and I were walking hand in hand with our heads down. Just then a girl pushed her way between Kevin and I. I could feel our hands slipping apart.

“This is the tramp that he married” I heard one say.

“Wow, I thought you had better taste than that Kevin.” Another shouted I began to lose sight of Kevin and the girls began to circle around me.

“Hey, Train, you need a real woman.” I began to get scared as the insults continued.

Where was Kevin?

“HEY” I heard that deep voice yell.

“IF you don’t stop this right now” He began to get angry. He broke through the circle and came and put his arms around me. My body was shaking and I couldn’t stop crying. I saw Jimmy pushing his way towards us.

“Here Jimmy, take Cass to the car.” Jimmy took me around the shoulders and began to lead me out of the airport. I saw Marcus heading towards Kevin. I could hear Kevin’s voice as we walked away.

“Now listen here all of you. Cass is my wife and you will treat her with respect. The guys and me have always respected you and all we ask in return is that you do the same.

I love Cass and if this ever happens again I will make sure that there will be no more meet and greets or stopping to sign autographs by me or any of the other boys. Do you understand?” I heard the sounds of sorry as I got into the car. I just curled up in a ball and began to sob.

“Now, I will not be signing any autographs today as I need to go check on my wife. Come on girls I’m happy, be happy for me.” With that Kevin and Jimmy made their way to the car. I heard the door open.

“Oh darlin,” Kevin scooped me up into his lap and held me tight.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they would do that. You Ok?”
”Yeah boo. It’s just, it’s just they don’t think I’m good enough for you.” I began to cry again.


“Oh babe, it doesn’t matter what they think. Your everything I could want and more.”

“I know that’s how you feel Kevin, but they’re your fans. I don’t’ want to interfere.”

“Hey, it’s ok. Quit crying. If they are truly my fans then they will be happy for me, Ok. They can either except you or find someone else to worship. “ He pulled my face up to look at him.

“I love you Cass” he gently kissed me.

“I love you too boo. Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For rescuing me back there”
”Anytime darlin, anytime. From now on Marcus will be with me and Jimmy will be with you ok. I’ll still be there for you, but I trust Jimmy to take care of you like your his own ok.”

“Ok.”

“Now let’s head home.”

When we got home I went to take a shower while Kevin checked his messages. I was going to have to do something to win over the fans. I wouldn’t let them hurt Kevin or the boys because they didn’t like me. But what? I would get with Leigh and Lisa tomorrow and see if they could help me. I closed my eyes and let the warm water fall over me. It was so relaxing; suddenly I felt two arms encircle my waist.

“Can I scrub your back”? all thoughts of fans went out of my head.
Chapter 8 by 2liveis2luv
The next day Kevin and the boys began rehearsal for the upcoming tour. I spent the day unpacking my boxes and trying to get things settled.

"Hey darlin" I heard the front door close.

"Hey boo" I ran from the kitchen and jumped into Kevin's arms.

"If this is what I get every time I come in the door, I'm going back out." He started to let me go.

"If you think this is good you should see what you get once you put down that stuff and come upstairs" I teased. Kevin dropped everything he had in his hands and swept me up into his arms carrying me up to our bedroom. We lay there together, Kevin talking about his day of dancing and singing and me about unpacking and getting us settled.

"Hey Cass"
"Yeah"
"Would you be ok if I invited all the guys and their girlfriends over for a bar-b-cue on the 4th"

"Oh, Kevin that sounds like fun, sure"

"Cool, I'll talk with the guys tomorrow and make all the plans. We can just do burgers and chips and stuff and layout by the pool if that's ok."

"Sounds great, I like the way you think Mr. Richardson"

"Well, would you like me to tell you what I'm thinking now?" he rolled up onto his side, the sheet sliding to cover just his waist, his green eyes sparkling.

"OH, you don't have to tell me, I'm well aware and two steps ahead of you." I rolled him over on to his back and straddled his waist.

"Well,...." He began as my lips crashed down on his.



It was decided that all the girls would arrive around 3:00pm and the boys would come straight from rehearsals. Kevin and I had decorated around the pool in red, white and blue.

"Cass, anybody here" I heard Leigh calling from the front door.

"Out back, come on in." I yelled from the back patio.

"Hey girl, wow this looks great" I heard her as I was straightening the tables.

"Yeah, looks real good girl" Lisa spoke up.

"LISA!!" I turned around quickly to see her and Leigh standing there in the backdoor way.

"OMG, I didn't know you were coming?"

"Well, Kevin told Nick he could invite me"
"Oh no, that's great, I just didn't know that you and Nick were still" I stopped short.

"THAT SO GREAT" I yelled.

It turns out that Nick and Lisa really hit it off at the wedding and had continued to see each other after they returned to Orlando. I could hear the sound of Kevin's truck driving into the driveway.

"The boys are here" the girls turned to see the front door opening.

Kevin, Nick and Brian all came in at the same time.

"Hey darlin, I'm home" I could hear Kevin yelling from the foyer. I took off running towards the door.

"WHOA, watch where ya going girl" Nick said as he and Brian jumped out of the way. I jumped into Kevin's arms and laid a big kiss on him.

"NEWLYWEDS" we heard the two of them echo at the same time and started laughing.

"Just wait you two, one day this will be you" Kevin put his stuff away and went to change into his shorts.

"Hey babe" I heard Brian greeting Leighanne.

"Hey Bri-bear" she replied wrapping her arms around his neck. The two began to make out.

"GET A ROOM" I yelled. "BETTER YET GET MARRIED ALREADY". Everyone started to laugh.

Nick made his way to Lisa.

"Hi'ya You" He whispered gently bending down to kiss her on the lips.

"Hi yourself" she whispered back. Nick took her hand and they walked over to the hammock swing, Nick sat down pulling Lisa into his lap.

Howie and Maria and AJ and Tina arrived at the same time. We all gathered out back relaxing and enjoying just being together.

As the sky turned dark we began to see the sparkle of fireworks going off all around us. We had set up the pillows and blankets all around the fire pit outside and all the couples were enjoying laying together and watching the sky light up. It felt so good to be wrapped up in Kevin's arms. Lisa and Nick were enjoying cuddling next to the fire; they seemed lost in their own world. It was so wonderful to watch them. I knew they would be perfect for each other, I just hoped that they would see it too. All of a sudden a big barrage of fireworks began to light the sky it was amazing. With that Brian stood up from the pillows.

"Hey, You ok Cuz" Kevin asked. "Is Little Bri Bri afraid of the big bad boom noise" He continued to pick.

"No Kevin, but I have something that I have to say and right now just seems the perfect time."
With that Brian turned to Leighanne who had sat up on the pillows.

"Leighanne, being here tonight with everyone seems so perfect, seeing Kevin and Cass and how happy they are, to see how nice it is to come home to someone that you love is just amazing. Leigh, you know I love you more than anything. Well..."
Tears began to sting my eyes, I looked down at Kevin. "OMG" I mouthed. He squeezed my hand tighter.

I could see tears in Leigh's eyes as well. No one made a sound. Brian dropped to one knee and pulled the ring box from his pocket in one swift movement.

"Leighanne Wallace will you do me the honor of being the one I come home to. Will you marry me?"
"OMG, Yes Brian, oh yes" Leigh burst out crying and jumped to hug Brian knocking them both over on to the pillows. Everyone burst out laughing and offering congratulations. Brian sat up and slid the ring on Leigh's finger. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day. Everyone was so happy and in love. All the couples left and Kevin and I sat out by the fireplace talking about the day.

"Wow, Kevin, can you believe it?"
"Yeah, Brian had told me he was going to ask Leigh, even showed me the ring, but he never said when. It's so great,

So the tour began and I traveled with the boys, we knew it would be hard, but Kevin and I also knew that we didn't want to be apart for that long since we were still newlyweds. It was interesting to see how the fans reacted to me being on the tour. For the most part the fans were great. There were still a few who thought that they should be with Kevin, but we took it all in stride. Brian and Leighanne were planning their wedding, Leigh wanted a big wedding in her hometown and Brian was going to make her dreams come true. Nick and Lisa were getting closer and closer. Howie and Maria were still steady and AJ and Tina were on and off. All in all we had a blast. We went home for the Thanksgiving Holidays. We only had 4 days to be home, but Kevin and I knew that we wanted to be in Kentucky. Brian and Leighanne flew with us home to spend some time with Brian's family. We had a wonderful home cooked meal with Mama Ann and all the family and headed back to the Cabin. As we walked we talked about the tour and the Christmas holidays. I told Kevin that I wanted to be here at the Cabin for Christmas. He agreed. We walked towards the stream and stood by the willow, Kevin standing behind me holding me tight. We watched the moonlight dancing on the water just standing there listening.

"What'cha thinking darlin."He leaned down to speak in my ear. The whisper of his voice sending a chill thru me.

"Christmas"

"What about Christmas?"
"Well, there's something I want to get you, but I'm not sure that I can or if it's something that you really want?"

"Well, tell me what it is and I'll tell you if I want it?" he laughed.

"Kevin, I'm serious" he could hear my voice tremble. He spun me in his arms.

"What ever you get me will be wonderful, I know enough about you to know that everything you do for me you do with love, I will love whatever it is."

"But, this is different Kevin, it's something that well, something you can't buy in a store and something that can't be returned."

"Well, do you want to tell me what it is?"

"Kevin," my voice began to quiver. What would he think? Is it too soon? Will be happy or angry?

"Come on Cass, you can ask me anything you know that?"

"Well, I was just wandering how you'd feel about" I stopped and looked up into his eyes.

"Go on."

"Well, I wanted us to build a barn over there and buy some horses so that we could have them to ride whenever we come back here." I looked down. He burst out laughing.

"You were scared to ask me that" He picked me up and gave me a big hug.

"Babe, that would be a great idea, I love you for even thinking about it. We could hire someone to take care of them while were away." His eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"Well, I talked to Tim tonight and told him my idea, he's agreed to do that for us."
"Oh Cass, I love you."

"I love you too Boo."

We decided to call the contractor the next day and begin the plans for the barn.

"When we come back for Christmas the barn will be done and we will go together and buy the horses, Ok"

"Ok" I kissed him and headed into the kitchen to start dinner.

The tour resumed and it became very hectic. They were trying to fit in a lot of the concerts before Christmas in order to give the boys 2 weeks off for the holidays. It was so fun watching the boys perform and the crowd went crazy every time the boys came on stage in Santa outfits. We toured children's hospitals and did numerous appearances.

"Aaachhooo....aaahhh this cold is killing me" I mumbled as I made my way to the front of the bus to get some orange juice.

"Oh babe, I'm sorry your not feeling well. Only 1 more week and we'll be headed to the cabin for Christmas.

"I know I just hate this." I jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

"She going be ok man?" Jimmy looked at Kevin with concern.

"Yeah, said that the congestion in her head along with the swaying of the bus seems to get her sick. I can understand it does it to me too when I'm sick. I've arranged for the doctor to meet us at the next venue to get her some medicine to get rid of this cold." Kevin and Jimmy continued their game of cards.

I went and lay down in the back of the bus.

"Lisa" I whined into the phone.

"Hey girl, how's it going"?

"I'm so sick, this is awful"

"What's wrong"?

"I have this cold, my nose is all stuffy and all this drainage is making me sick. The rocking of this bus is awful." I continued my complaining.

"AWWW poor baby. At least you get to be with Kevin. I'm missing Nick so much. Hey Guess what?"
"What"

"Nick and I have decided to move in together over the Christmas break.

"AAAHHH" I screamed. Kevin came running back into the room.

"What's the matter, are you ok"

"Oh, sorry boo, I was on the phone with Lisa, her and Nick are moving in together"
"Jeeze Cass, you scared me to death"

"Sorry boo" he turned and headed back to the front of the bus. Lisa and I burst out laughing.

"Lisa, this is so great"

"Yeah, God Cass, I have fallen head over heals for that blue eyed babe."

"Oh Lisa, do you love him?"
"Yeah, we've actually both admitted that to each other. He's so amazing, I mean, I could see us together forever."
Lisa and I chatted for a while longer.

"Well Lisa, I need to go, I'm like really tired"
"Ok Cass, I'll see ya soon."

I put the phone on the bedside table and curled up with Kevin's pillow and drifted off to sleep. I felt Kevin slip in beside me and pull me close. We slept the rest of the way to the next city.

"Cass, babe' I felt Kevin moving the hair from my face. "Cass, where here, how ya feeling."

I jumped up and ran past him into the bathroom. I could hear him at the door. I slowly made my way back to the bed.

"Cass, there's a doctor here to see you, can I bring him in?"

"Yeah" I just lay back down. I could hear Kevin talking with someone at the front of the bus.

"Mrs. Richardson?"
"Yes" I opened my eyes to see a gentleman standing in the doorway.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Carpenter. I'm the boy's private physician. Kevin says you been a little sick."

"Hi, yes, I have this horrible sinus congestion and I get dizzy and nauseated."

"Ok, well sit up and let's take a look at ya." He began to exam me asking me questions about my general health and looked in my ears and throat. "Ok, this should take care of it, just remember to get lots of rest and drink plenty of orange juice." He turned and left.

"Dr. Carpenter, is she ok?" Kevin had been pacing up front waiting on the doctor to come back out.

"Yeah, Kevin she's perfect, I've given her a prescription and advised her to get lots of rest and drink lots of orange juice. She'll be fine." With that he left.

"Cass, babe" Kevin opened the door and came in and sat beside me on the bed.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, the doctor said I'd be fine. When we get checked into the hotel I'll go downstairs and get this prescription filled."
"I can do that or I can get Jimmy to do it?"
"No it's fine, he said that I needed rest and orange juice so I'm going to get some while I'm out and get me a good book to read while I lay around in the bed."

"Ok, you sure, I don't mind?"

"No, it's fine. Kevin, I'll be fine."

"Ok, but you let me know if I can do anything for you. I want you better for Christmas."

I began to snuggle back down into the covers.

"Oh, I will be, I will be." And I drifted back off to sleep.

Christmas in Kentucky is beautiful. The snow all around, the stream was still flowing, but the banks were covered in white and the willow tree held snowflakes in its limbs. Kevin and I spent the whole day in town buying Christmas decorations and a tree for the house. Our first Christmas as married couple, it was going to be wonderful. We were going to have Christmas eve with the Littrell's and Christmas Dinner at Mama Ann's with all the family gathered together.

We arrived at the Littrell's around 7 pm Christmas Eve.

"Hey Everyone" Kevin yelled as we walked into the living room. "MERRY CHRISTMAS"
Greetings and hugs were exchanged with everyone. Leigh and I caught up on all the wedding details and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I told her I was honored. Brian asked Kevin to be a groomsman.

We sat around enjoying the company and singing Christmas Carols. Kevin and Brian took turns singing and Kevin played the piano. I felt like a love struck teenager just starring at him as he relaxed and played. It was so amazing to watch him; his voice was clear and calming. We decided around 10:30 to head back to the cabin and settle in for the night.

"BRR it's cold out there," I said stomping the snow off my boots. Kevin and I took off our jackets and headed into the living room.

"I'm going to go change, ok boo."

"Ok, I'm gonna stoke the fire and I'll meet ya out here."

I changed into a short red satin nightgown and brushed out my hair. I reached under the mattress and grabbed on of Kevin's gifts that I had hid there. I carried the package out to the living room.

"OHH Sexy Mama." Kevin whistled as I twirled around to give him the full view.

It had become customary for Kevin to wear the white satin pajama bottoms on all special occasions. He had changed in the guest bathroom.

"Not so bad yourself Mr. Richardson" I ran my hand down his chest and stopped on his hip. I reached up and gave him a kiss on the lips. I laid the package on the hearth and sat down on the pillows and blanket he had piled on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"Wine for the lady." He handed me a glass. I sat it down on the coffee table.

"What's the matter, you don't want any."

"Not right now."

"He sat down beside me and I scooted up to lean on his chest."
"This is nice," I mumbled.

"Uh huh" we sat starring at the fire flickering in the fireplace the chime.

"Hey darlin"

"Yeah boo"

"Merry Christmas" He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips as the clock rang midnight.

"Merry Christmas to you too Boo." I whispered.

"Kevin"

"Yeah"

"I want you to open one of your presents now" I looked at him. A smile crept across his face.

"Only if you open one." He reached under the chair and pulled out a small box.

"Kevin Richardson what have you done?" I tried to look angry but I couldn't

"It's just a little something, I know that we are going to buy the horses day after tomorrow, but I wanted you to have something more personal." I began to slowly unwrap the box.

I opened the lid.

"You didn't" I squealed.

"Yep, I did" I jumped up and began hugging him.

"Ok, Ok I get it your excited."

"Is it the one we looked at?"

"Yep, with a few additions. It's still the black Tahoe, but I also had an entertainment package added and new tires and rims, I also had a satellite radio system and a GPS tracker installed."

"Oh Kevin, thank you so much." Before we left Orland to fly home for Christmas Kevin and I had went car shopping, he couldn't stand the idea of me being in my Mustang anymore. He said he didn't think I was safe in it.

"I called the dealer later that afternoon and had it ordered. Jimmy's picking it up on Tuesday and he'll put it in the garage at the house."
"Oh Kevin I love you so much." I cuddled up into his lap and began kissing him passionately.

His hands began to move across my back.

"Uh uh, I said sliding back onto the pillows beside him."

"But!" He said with a pout on his face.

"NO way mister, you have to open this first."

"Ok." He began to unwrap the paper.

It was a thin rectangular box. He slowly lifted the lid, as he unfolded the tissue back his head shot up and his eyes burned into mine.

"CASS?"

"Well?" Kevin was looking at a baby's first year album. "Look on the inside" I whispered.

Kevin's hands were trembling. He opened the front cover.

"Daddy, I'm sorry I won't be here for Christmas, but mama said that it would be ok. She said that I should tell you that I would be here by August, just in time for the tour to wrap up. I hope you don't mind my unexpected appearance, but I just couldn't wait to meet you. I love you. Your baby."

Kevin lifted his face; I could see tears in his eyes. The tears had already begun to fall from mine.

"Cass" His voice caught.

"Yes, Kevin. I just found out. Remember when I was so sick back at Thanksgiving." He just shook his head. "Well, Dr. Carpenter began asking me all these questions, I began to realize where he was heading with them and cut him off telling him that there was no way possible. He left me a prescription for pre-natal vitamins and for antibiotics with the promise that I would take a test before I filled them. Well, that's why I went to get the prescriptions filled by myself. I didn't want you to get your hopes up. When the test came back positive I got the vitamins filled. I saw this book and knew that this would make the perfect gift for you for Christmas." He still wouldn't speak. "Kevin, are you ok, I mean, I know we haven't talked about this a lot and we definitely didn't plan this, but"

"Oh God, Cass, no I mean, I'm just" the tears turned to sobs. I gathered him in my arms and held him.

"Kevin please talk to me, you're scaring me, are you Ok?"
"OK, God Cass I'm perfect. I can't believe this. This is the best present you could ever give me. Are you Ok? Is the baby ok? I mean, Oh God." He pulled me in his arms. "I'm fine, the baby is fine. Wanna see?" He bolted up again.

"I went to the doctor here last week just to confirm things, while I was there they did an ultrasound." I grabbed the book and flipped over two pages to where the "BABYS FIRST PICTURE" page was. I had taped the ultrasound pictures inside. Kevin held the book and moved his fingers over the picture.

"Our baby" He looked up. "Cass, you've made me the happiest man in the world. Thank you so much. I love you baby. This is everything I've ever wanted" He pulled me into his lap and began to kiss me. We made love in front of the fireplace. Kevin picked me up and carried me to the bed afterwards. "Thank you Cass. I love you." He fell asleep with his hand on my stomach.
Chapter 9 by 2liveis2luv
I awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon and eggs. I snuggled under the comfort remembering the night before. Kevin and I are having a baby. I placed my hand on my stomach. "Your one lucky little baby"," I whispered, "look who your getting for a daddy."

"And a mommy" his voice brought my eyes to the bedroom door. He was standing with a tray that had breakfast for two and a single white rose in a vase.

"Merry Christmas Darlin" he came to the bed and sat the tray over my lap as I sat up against the headboard.

"Merry Christmas Boo." He leaned in and gave me a kiss then sat down on the bed next to me.

"You joining me?" I asked.

"Yep, if you don't mind?"

"Of course not, this is beautiful, thank you."

"Your welcome, can't have you not starting the day with a good meal, I mean you are carrying my baby." The smile covered his entire face as the words left his mouth.

"Kevin, are you sure your ok with this, I mean I know we didn't plan this and I swear I don't know how it happened..."he placed a finger over my lips.

"Babe, this is the best thing in the world, I couldn't be happier. No, it's not anything we discussed at a serious level, but you know I want kids and I know you want kids, so what's not to be happy about. As far as how it happened, I'd be more than happy to show you how." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh Kevin!" I popped him in the chest.

"Ouch, hey now you better take it easy."
"I'm fine. Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything lil' mama" he smiled.

"Will you get me that bag over there off of the chaise lounge?"
"Sure, what's that?"

"Open it"
"Another gift for me, awe you shouldn't have."
"I didn't, it's for your mother, and I wanted to see if you approved."
Kevin opened the box and looked inside. It was a grandmothers brag book.

"Oh Cass, this is perfect"
"I put a copy of the ultrasound in the first slot" Kevin opened the book. When he looked back up I could see the tears in his eyes."

"Cass, mom will love this, thank you for thinking of her"
"Well, I have the other gift under the tree, but I thought this would be a special way for us to tell her. Not that your smile won't give it away." I giggled.

"Hey, can't a man be happy about making a baby with his beautiful wife."

"Well, I guess, but do you want to tell your mom this way, I mean we don't have to give her that today?"

"No this will be cool and that way Jerald, Tim and Lacey will all be there too along with all the Littrell's everyone can find out at the same time."

We got up and got dressed, we need to get to Mama Ann's for Christmas Dinner.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE" Kevin hollered as we came in the back door.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom Kev, I'll be right back." I slipped off to the restroom.

"It has begun," He giggled to himself.

"Merry Christmas Baby" Mama Ann came down the stairs. "Where's Cass?"
"Bathroom" Kevin tried not to smile to big; he really wanted to surprise his mom with this news.

Everyone gathered around the table and prepared for dinner. Kevin you wanna do the honors?

"Sure. Dear Lord, thank you so much for sending your son for us and allow us to celebrate his birth on this glorious day. Thank you for bringing us all together this year safely and allowing our family to be here together. Thank you for all the blessings you have given us this past year and for the ones that you will bring to us in the coming year. Lord, Thank you for all the new members to the family. Amen."
"AMEN" Echoed through the room.

"Ahh, Kevin that's so sweet to thank God for Cass at the dinner table." Tim picked at Kevin.

"Uh." Kevin looked at me real quick.

"Well, I do thank God for Cass and besides Leighanne's a new member to the family." Kevin was trying to cover.

"Well, I think it's sweet" Mama Ann spoke up. "Now someone carve that bird."

After dinner we all gathered in the living room to hand out Christmas presents. We had a picture of Our Wedding framed for everyone for Christmas. We were all sitting and talking about Christmas and the plans for new years. "Mama" Kevin stood up.

"Yes son"

"Cass and I have one more gift for you"

"Kevin you and Cass have done to much already" Kevin handed her the box.

"It's not much, just a little something we think you'll enjoy for years to come" Kevin turned and smiled at me. He kneeled by his mom as she slowly lifted the lid off the box carefully removing the tissue paper. "OMG, Kevin, does this mean what I think it means" She looked up at Kevin with tears in her eyes.

"Open to the first page" Kevin's voice began to shake.

"OH KEVIN, CASS" She was on her feet hugging Kevin.

"What in the World Mama?" Tim and Jerald said at the same time.

"Can I?" She looked at Kevin. He just nodded.

"I'm gonna be a GRANDMA" her tears began to fall again.

"OMG" was heard all over the room, Kevin and I were bombarded with questions.

"August 10th"

"Yes I'm fine"

"No not planned but a wonderful surprise" Kevin began to tell about his Christmas present he got last night. His chest puffed out with pride.

"OH CASS" Leigh came over and sat next to me on the couch.

"Leigh, I still don't know how it happened and I was so scared how Kevin would take the news."

"OH, I'm sure he don't care, he was probably thrilled."

"Oh he didn't and he is. He's been so sweet, he even brought me breakfast in bed." We could hear Kevin tell all the guys about his baby.

"Leigh, I'm gonna be big as a house at your wedding, I'm sorry. If you don't want me to be a bridesmaid anymore I completely understand."
"Don't you dare, you're going to be in my wedding and you're going to be beautiful" Leigh hugged me.

"I'm so excited, the first backstreet baby."

"Oh god what will the fans say now." We both burst out laughing. The boys turned to us and gave us a look like we had lost our minds.

"Kevin, you might better call the other 3 brothers and fill them in with the news."
"Yeah Brian, your right."

"Congratulations man I know how bad you've always wanted to be a dad. This is great news."
"Thanks Bri, I just can't believe it. I'm so excited. I mean, it's just so unreal."

"I bet, I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm going to be a married man in 5 months."

Kevin picked up his cell and headed to the back porch.

"Hey bone, Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas to you too Train. How's things in the sticks."

"OH great man, great. Look I needed to tell you about a Christmas present that Cass got me. It's so great, I can't wait to tell everyone about it."

"Yeah, what she'd get ya train, a baby grand for that house of yours?" Everyone knew that Kevin wanted a piano for the Cabin.

"Well, she did get me a baby for the cabin, it's just not a piano"
"What, Oh shit!! Are you serious man?"

"Yep, I'm gonna be a dad J"

"Oh Kev, that's so cool. Man I'm really happy for you both."

"Thanks J, well I gotta call the other 2 stooges. So I'll catch New Years Eve. Ok."
"K, tell Cass I said Merry Christmas and Congratulations."
"I will, later bone."

Kevin called Howie next, but decided that him and Cass needed to call Nick and Lisa together. They were inseparable ever since they moved in together.

"Hey Nick, Hey Lisa, Merry Christmas" we both said into the speakerphone.

"Hey guys, Merry Christmas," they said together.

"How it going" Nick said.

"Great, we got something we want to tell you guys and figured we'd catch the two of you today."

"What's up Train?"

"I'm gonna be a daddy" Kevin said

"OH MAN, that's great, CONGRATULATIONS" came from both.

"You ok Cass, I'm so happy for you" Lisa had taken over the phone.

"Yeah, I'm good." Kevin's cell began to ring. It was Nick.

"I can't believe it, When, how long have you known, omg. What did Kevin say?"
"Yeah, I know I was shocked too. I'm due in August, I've known since thanksgiving, but I wanted to tell Kevin first and it made the perfect Christmas present. He is so excited I don't think he's quit smiling yet. He's been talking about the nursery here and the nursery in Florida and how he has to make sure that everything is timed just right so that he will be there when the baby is born. He's so funny."
"Oh Cass, that's great, well guess what?"
"What?"

"We have to get new carpet in the den?"

"Really, why?"

"Well there's a huge wine stain that will not come out right next to the fireplace.

"What in the world, I told you two not to get to carried away, you and your kinky ways." I was laughing

"Well, I didn't mean to, it's just that Nick took me by surprise."

"I don't want to hear this," I laughed.

"NOT THAT you dope.... Nick asked me to marry him?"
"OMG, are you serious?"
"Yeah, we were spending Christmas eve here at the house a quite night in front of the fireplace beside the Christmas tree. I had gotten up to get us another glass of wine, when I came back in the Nick was on one knee with the ring box opened, I just dropped the glasses. God Cass I'm so happy. I mean when I'm not with him I feel like I can't breath. When I am with him I feel like nothing could ever go wrong. Oh yeah, I said yes."

"You dweeb. I figured you would've. I'm so happy for you. I can't believe he did that. So tell me about the ring?"
"It so beautiful. It's a 3-carat pear cut diamond. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful."

"Oh Lisa...." I was crying.

"Cass you ok?"
"Yeah, hormones, really Lis I'm so happy for you. So any ideas on a date."

"Well, we actually both decided that we don't want a big wedding, we really liked the way that you and Kev did things but we don't want to jump in front of Leigh and Brian and since we officially started dating at the party on the 4th of July we thought that we would like to get married on the 4th of July. What' do you think."
"I think that's wonderful, where you guys thinking about having the wedding?"
"Well, I was going to talk to you about that."
"Nick and I were wondering if you and Kevin would mind us getting married at the cabin by the stream?"
"OH Lisa, are you serious?"

"Yeah, we loved it there and we both knew the night of your wedding that we wanted to be together, so what better place."

"That would be perfect, besides I'll only be a month away from delivering this baby and I'm not sure I would be able to travel anyway. OH Lisa, I'm so happy for you guys, just let me know what you need me to do and I'm there."

"Oh yeah, Cass?"
"Yeah, I'm going on tour with you guys"

‘YES! I won't be alone, Leigh's not going back out this time, says she has to start getting the house ready and finalizing all the plans for the wedding, she said she would fly in for the shows that are close, but she's not staying for the whole tour. This is great; you'll be there to help me with this pregnancy thing. I think Kev might get a little overprotective"

"Ya think?" We both laughed.

"Well, I guess I better go, I see my husband coming back inside, I'll talk to ya later, you guys will be at the New Years party right? "

"Wouldn't miss it, see ya there, Bye"

"Bye"

"OMG" Kevin came thru the front door.

"I know can you believe it?"
"Little Nicky, getting married, by the way he said congratulations"

"Gosh, all the BSB's are growing up. Brian and Nick are getting married...'

"And I'm going to be a daddy" Kevin was lifting me in his arms before I could finish my sentence.

"I think someone needs a nap." He turned and headed towards the bedroom.

"But Kevin, I'm not tired."
"I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about me and I want you next to me." He gently laid me on the bed.

"Oh, well since you put it like that." He lay down and placed his head on my belly.

"Hey baby, it's daddy, Merry Christmas" He began to sing to the baby. The tears welled up in my eyes.

"I want you to know that I'm very excited about you coming and I'm going to make sure that I take extra special care of your mommy so that she don't have to worry about a thing but making sure your safe."

I placed my hand on Kevin's head.

"I love you boo" my voice cracked.

"You ok?" He looked up at me with concern in his eyes.

"Fine, better than fine, I'm wonderful. Kevin I was so scared you would be mad, please don't ever think that I got pregnant on purpose."
"Baby, you gotta stop this. I was a willing participant in the act of creating this baby and I couldn't be happier. This baby was created by the love that we had for each other and apparently that love is stronger than any means of birth control. I'm so excited about this baby; even if we would have planned it I couldn't be happier. Ok" I just shook my head.

"Come here" He wrapped me in his arms. I laid my head on his chest. I loved to hear him breath. I could smell his cologne. God he smelt good. The warmth of his body and the gentle rising and falling of his chest as he breathed began to relax me. I heard Kevin start to sing in almost a whisper.

I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to I'd walk halfway around the world For just one kiss from you Far beyond the call of love The sun, the stars, the moon
As long as your love's there to lead me I won't lose my way believe me
Even through the darkest night you know
I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to
Your love as far as I can see Is all I'm ever gonna need
There's one thing for sure I know it's true
Baby, I'd go anywhere for you

We fell asleep in each other's arms.

December 31, 2001

AJ was throwing a New Years bash at his house and all of us met up there to party and welcome in the New Year. We danced and ate and talked about all the upcoming events. Bri and Leigh's and Nick and Lisa's weddings and of course everyone had to rub the first backstreet baby for luck. At midnight Kevin and I were slow dancing when the chime of the clock struck.

"Happy New Year Mrs. Richardson" He bent down and began to passionately kiss me.

"Happy New Year to you too Mr. Richardson" I said when he broke the kiss. "Care to continue this at home?"

"Hey fellas, Happy New Year. I'm taking the misses home for a private celebration" and with that we were out the door and headed home. When we got home Kevin went to the kitchen to get us something to drink and I told him to meet me in the bathroom. When he came in the door I was sitting in our Jacuzzi with candles lit all over the bathroom and Kenny G's Breathless playing in the CD player. A fire was glowing in the fireplace. Kevin was carrying two champagne glasses filled with orange juice. As he undressed and sank in the water beside me I could feel my heart begin to beat faster. God what this man could do to me.

"Now where were we, oh yeah. Happy New Year darlin" He raised his glass of OJ.

"Happy New Year to you too Boo, this is going to be a great year." I took a sip of the OJ. Kevin took my glass and his and placed it on the side of the tub. He then grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap.

"It sure is darlin, it sure is." His lips crashed on to mine. I'm not sure but I think the water got hotter the longer we stayed in there. We made love all night long and fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next few months went by so fast. The tour was going great and Lisa and I stayed busy planning her and Nicks wedding and helping Leigh plan her and Bri's by phone. The pregnancy was going great. I would fly back to Kentucky once a month for my appointments and everything was perfect. Baby was growing and we were still on schedule. May came and Brian and Leighanne's wedding was perfect, just the fairytale she had dreamed of. True to her word she picked out a dress that hid the small bump that was beginning to form in my belly. Everyone was laughing and crying, especially Brian. Who would've thought he'd be so emotional. They left for Hawaii the day after the wedding; the boys had two weeks off so they were going to fly into New York from Hawaii to pick back up with the tour. Kevin and I spent those two weeks decorating the nursery in the Orlando house. We used multi colored music notes, white oak furniture, since we had decided not to find out the sex of the baby we wanted to make sure it would work for a boy or a girl. The nursery at the cabin was going to be done in a fairytale style; Nick would paint a mural on the baby's wall for us as his gift to the baby.

The tour was set to wrap on our anniversary and then we would head to Kentucky for Nick and Lisa's wedding and then to await the arrival of the baby. The boys knew that they could work on materials for the next album in Kevin's studio at the cabin which insured that Kevin would be there for me if I needed him, but also gave the other boys the excuse to be there when the baby arrived. They were all so excited.

I was sitting in the pit at the last show with Leigh and Lisa. The concert was going great and the boys were giving everything to the fans. Girls were screaming their names and going crazy especially when AJ would thrust his hips. We just laughed. After the intermission Kevin came back on stage dressed in his white suit and hat. God I loved it when he wore that, but where were the other boys." The fans were going crazy yelling and screaming.

"SHHHHH" I saw him put his finger to his lips. The crowd quieted down.

"Ok, so we're gonna do something a little different today if that's ok with all of you?"
The crowd erupted in a loud roar of yes's and Ok's.

"SHHHHH" again his finger to his lip, again silence.

"Well, today is a very special day for me and I'm hoping that you all could help me with a little something?" He paused for a moment.

"Today is my wedding Anniversary..." A collective AWWWW echoed the arena

"And my wife is sitting right down there." He pointed towards me.

Just then Jimmy came over to me.

"Kevin said to bring you up on stage"

"NO" I said.

"I'm not telling him no, you tell him no" Jimmy looked back towards the stage.

"Jimmy, Please, I'm as big as a house?" My eyes pleading with him.

"Oh, Cass you look beautiful, come on Kevin's worked really hard for this."
"Oh Ok. But remind me to kill you both later"

I walked up onto the stage. The audience began to applaud as Kevin led me to a stool in the center of the stage. I caught a glimpse of the other boys coming on stage.

"Kevin, " I whispered.

"Shhh Darlin, I just wanted to tell all these people how much I love you and how happy you made me when you married me one year ago today." His voice echoed thru the arena

"I love you too boo, but I'm the lucky one."

I Promise You began to softly play. Nick's voice cut through the silence as Kevin held out his arm and asked me for a dance.

It's in the silences, the words you never say
I see it in your eyes,
it always starts the same way It seems like everyone we know,
is breaking up Does anybody ever stay together, anymore?
I promise you, from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am ooh I see you look at me,
when you think I'm not aware
You're searching for clues,
of just how deep my feelings are.
How do you prove the sky is blue, the oceans wide?
All I know is how I feel,
when I look into your eyes

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything that I am ooh yeah

Oh there are no guarantees That's what you always say to me
But late at night I feel the tremble in your touch
Oh what I'm trying to say to you,
I never said to anyone I Promise

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
(I do my darling I promise you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again

With everything I am I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
( I love you I love you I love you I love you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am
You're everything I am oh yeah
With everything I am

By the end of the song I was in tears and so was Kevin. He knelt and pulled a long stem white rose from inside his jacket pocket and pulled me close so that he could rest his head on my belly.

The audience went wild. He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my lips before placing his hand on my belly and turning towards the audience.

"I"M GONNA BE A DADDY" he yelled and the crowd got crazy as The Answer to Our Lives began. Kevin escorted me to the side of the stage kissed me and turned to go back to the center; he turned around quickly. I could read his lips.

"Tonight baby, you and me".

My whole body began to tingle as I went back to my seat.

That night we made love like we did on the night we got married, he was so gentle and caring. He fell asleep holding me close to him. I lay there awake watching him sleep; I could feel the baby moving underneath Kevin's hands.

"How did I get so lucky?" I whispered as I moved his hair out of his face.

"You loved me Cass, you just loved me." He whispered.
Chapter 10 by 2liveis2luv
It was so hot on the day of Nick and Lisa's wedding. I wasn't sure I could stand the heat that long, but I was so excited. Once we got thru this wedding the next big thing would be giving birth to this baby and boy was I ready. The wedding was to be at 5pm we all spent the day getting ready. Lisa was beautiful in her dress. I thought I would cry when she came out of the bathroom.

"WOW Lisa, you're going to knock his socks off."

"You think so Cass.'

"I hope he likes it?"

"Girl, he will love it. So where you to heading for the honeymoon?"
"I'm not sure, Nick won't tell me. All he says it's very secluded and we won't be disturbed?"
"I know." I giggled.

"WHERE?" she turned around towards me.

"I'm not saying, don't wanna ruin the surprise." I got up to put my shoes on when a sudden pain hit.

"UUGGH" I bent over.

"Cass" you ok.

"Yeah, just think this little one is going to kill me before he/she comes out" I tried to make Lisa think that it was just a pain from the baby's movement, but deep down I was scared.

The wedding was beautiful. When Nick saw Lisa coming towards him he just broke down crying. He was so good to her, always aware of where she was. He hardly ever left her side during the reception, keeping a protective arm around her waist at all times, stealing a kiss every chance he could. Kevin and I knew that Nick was taking Lisa to the Turtle Island's in Fiji where he had a secluded bungalow reserved for the next week.

"Well Mrs. Carter, are you all set?" I giggled as we gathered Lisa's bags from my room.

"Oh Cass, I can't believe it, I'm Mrs. Nickolas Gene Carter. I couldn't be happier."

"I know girl and your wedding was beautiful." I felt another pain coming.

"I know I can't thank you and Kevin enough for everything." I was trying to keep from crying. We got up and walked out to the willow tree where Kevin, Nick and the boys were all standing.

"You guys have a great time and don't think about anything going on here. There will still be plenty of work to be done when you get back." Everyone exchanged hugs and walked with Nick and Lisa to the limo. I stayed behind starring at the stream. I was resting my hand on my belly when I was struck with the worst pain. I felt like I was being ripped apart. I don't remember anything but hearing someone saying I got you and hearing them yell for Kevin.

"Hey darlin" I heard that voice. I was trying to open my eyes.

"Hey boo," I said sounding very sleepy.

"How ya feeling?" I began to open my eyes. I could see his face. He had been crying.
"Kevin, what's the matter?" I tried to sit up. "OOWW" I yelled as I realized that something was wrong.

"Please baby, just lay still." I could hear the tremble of his voice. I reached down. My stomach was flat, fear filled my body and I began to shake. The pain, oh god, what happened. AJ caught me when I fainted.

"Kevin, where's the baby, where's our baby." I began to panic.

"He's in the nursery, we have a baby boy." tears falling from his eyes.

"Is he ok, what happened?" I began to cry. Kevin climbed beside me and pulled me in tight.

"You had what's called a placental abruption baby, it's where the sac separates from the wall of the uterus and is very dangerous. We almost lost you. Thank God AJ was standing there. We got you here and they did and emergency C-section. The doctors say that you're going to be ok. It will just take sometime to recover. But don't worry I'm going to take good care of you"

"But the baby, Kevin how's the baby." I felt him tighten. "Oh God, he didn't make it." I began to cry.

"NO," he pulled my face up to look at him. "No, he's in the nursery, he's very tiny and they are watching him closely. Babe, I've got to be honest with you. The doctors don't know if he will survive or not, but right now he's fighting." I broke down crying and Kevin held me tight.

"I wanna see him." I looked into Kevin's eyes.

"I'll go get the nurse" he left out the room. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." AJ came to stand beside the bed.

"Hey Cass" I could see the tears in his eyes.

"AJ, thank you."

"Oh Cass, you scared me. The little guy is so cute though" his voice cracked.

"AJ, I'm scared. Is Kevin ok? Really?"

"Well, it's been a hard couple of hours. He thought he had lost you and we thought he was going to kill someone waiting for the doctor to come out. He's holding up pretty good. The rest of the guys and all the family are in the waiting room."

"AJ, tell me the truth. What did the doctor say?"

"Well," Kevin and the nurse came in the door.

"Hey bone" Kevin looked at him as if to tell him not to say anymore.

"Well Cass, I just wanted to see ya for myself. I'll be out in the waiting room" He kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave. He didn't look Kevin in the eyes; the fear began to grip hold. What weren't they telling me?

I was helped into a wheelchair. Kevin pushed me down to the nursery. We were asked to wash our hands and put on a sterile gown. Kevin pushed me into this room that had only one isolate in it. The nurse came in.

"Hi, I'm Lynn. I'm the baby's nurse. It's nice to meet you Mr. And Mrs. Richardson. I just want you both to be aware that this little guy is small but he's a fighter. I have been assigned to him and I will be with him all day so if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask me." She turned and lifted the blanket off the isolate.

I sucked in my breath. He was so tiny, but he was beautiful. He had a head full of black hair just like Kevin. His fingers were so long they would be perfect for playing the piano, and his little body was perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes, he looked like an angel

"Would you like to hold him?" Lynn asked me. I just shook my head. I watched as she gently lifted our son from the little bed. He was so tiny. When she placed him in my arms I began to cry. He looked like Kevin. I had dreamed of his face before.

"Lynn?" I looked up at her. Kevin was sitting in the rocking chair beside me.

"Yes Mrs. Richardson?" She turned back towards me.

"You can call me Cass and this is Kevin. Do you know who he is?" I wanted to make sure she wasn't some crazed fan that would use this to gain publicity.

"Yes Cass, I know who you two are. Kevin and I went to school together and I have known his family for years. I promise you that you two will be left alone in private here. I asked to be assigned to this case so that I could help you two until this little guy goes home. I promise Cass no one will hear anything from me."
"I'm sorry, I'm just" I began to cry as my son began to cry.

"OH shh." I placed his tiny body on my shoulder and began to rub his back. I felt Kevin lean closer to me.

He quietly began to sing to the baby, he quieted down.

"No Cass, I understand. Just trust me that I am here for the two of you as well as this little boy. By the way do we have a name for this fellow?" I looked at Kevin.

"Jerald Scott Richardson, Scottie for short" He looked back at me.

"Ok Scottie, why don't you see if mama here wants to feed you? Are you going to try and nurse Cass or do you want me to get you a bottle."

"No, I'd like to try and nurse" We tried several times, but Scottie just couldn't do it. He was so small. Kevin and I sat there for hours just watching our son. We eventually went back to my room. I was exhausted.

Around 11am the next morning the doctors came in. Kevin stood up and came to stand beside my bed, he grabbed my hand.

I didn't like the look on the doctor's face and I began to get scared.

"Kevin, Cass. I'm so sorry, but it doesn't look like Scottie is going to make it."

"NNOOOO" I began to scream. Kevin gathered me into his arms. I could feel his body shaking.

We have done all we can but it just doesn't seem like his lungs are stong enough. We need to know if you want to be with him." We both shook our heads yes. "We will have Lynn bring him to you here so that you can have privacy. I'm so sorry, I wish there was something else. He's just to small, otherwise he's perfect." With that he turned and left our room. Kevin and I held each other sobbing.

"Oh God Kevin, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I should've known, I did this, it's my fault."

"OH baby, it's not your fault the doctor said there was nothing that could've been done to stop this." We just sat there crying.

Kevin stood up. "I've got to go tell everyone. I want them all to have a chance to meet Scottie and I want my mom and your dad to have a chance to see him before." His voice stopped. He turned and left the room. After Kevin left Lynn came in with Scottie.

"Cass, I'm so sorry. He's such a fighter, but I just don't think he's strong enough." She placed Scottie in my arms. I brought his little body close to my face. I inhaled his scent. I held him tight; I began to kiss his head and his face. I took each one of his hands and kissed them and then did the same with his feet. He lay there so peaceful, just sleeping. I examined and memorized every inch of him. He was perfect, the spitting image of Kevin. Everyone came in. They all took turns holding him and loving him. Finally Kevin and I were left alone with our little boy. I sat next to Kevin on the sofa in my room Lynn stayed in the corner; she would occasionally check Scotties vital signs.

"Lynn, Can I have some scissors. I would like a lock of his hair." Lynn gave me her scissors and I snipped a lock of his hair and placed it in my locket.

"It won't be much longer she said as she listened to his tiny heartbeat." She left the room I guess she knew that we needed to spend those last minuets with just the three of us. I was holding Scottie and Kevin lifted me into his lap. He encircled us with his arms. We sat there in the silence just watching our baby. He was so beautiful and so perfect. How were we going to get through this? Kevin began to sing to Scottie.

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Fly by Celine Dion
We watched as Scottie took his last breath lying in my arms, Kevin's hand resting on his tiny back and him snuggled next to Kevin's chest. It could not have been a more bittersweet moment. We were there when he came into this world and we were there when he left it. If anything he knew the love of his mother and father and his family and brought joy to our lives that we never knew existed, but also brought sadness we didn't know that we could bear. Lynn came in a couple of hours later when we were finally ready to say goodbye to our little one. Kevin and I fell asleep wrapped in each other on the couch. We knew that we needed to let everyone know that he was gone, but right then we needed each other more. Kevin left in the early hours of the morning to go tell everyone that our angel was gone.











Scottie was so precious and so loved, but I guess that God needed him back. I didn't understand why this had happened. I felt like I had let Kevin down. I began to pace the room. I began to carry on a conversation in my own mind. "Did I eat something wrong, did I lift to much. What did I do to make this happen? Why was God punishing me? I should have known I had been given to much." I continued over and over in my head, I knew in the back of my mind this was just something that happened, something freak and unexpected, but how did I go on without my baby. How did I go back to that house where all of his things were waiting for him? How do I face Kevin, he wanted that baby so much? Oh, I had to get out of there and quick. I reached for the door and walked straight into AJ.

"Oh Cass, hon. I'm so sorry" I saw the look on his face and the tear's in his eyes. I couldn't take it. I took off running down the hall. I reached the stairs and began to run down. I could hear my name being called behind me. I couldn't stop running the tears were falling faster and faster. I had to get out of this hospital. I needed to breathe. I reached the bottom and burst outside into the back garden. It was a beautiful maze that was created with bushes and roses. I stopped and took in some breaths, then fell to my knees and began to sob. "OH GOD WHY? WHY DID YOU TAKE OUR BABY?" I Looked up at the beautiful sunrise appearing. "Why, why, why, why, why?" I felt two hands grab my shoulders. I smelled him. Then that voice.

"Darlin" I began to tremble.

"Please Cass, look at me" I turned, his eyes were red. I looked away. I couldn't stand the hurt in his eyes.

"Please baby, please. I need you. You didn't do anything wrong. Scottie just wasn't strong enough. Baby I need you to help me through this and I need you to let me help you through this. I could have lost you both and I still have you. Baby please." I felt him fall to his knees behind me. His arms wrapped around me tight. I just fell into him.

"Kevin, I'm so sorry, I wanted to give you this baby so bad. I loved him so much, I wanted him so much. I.."

"Cass, you didn't do anything. Baby, I don't blame you. I know you loved him and I know you wanted him and Scottie knew that to. Baby please let me take you back in side."

"Please just hold me"
"Anything you want." We sat there and watched the sun finish rising.

"Cass. I want to bury Scottie at the stream. Is that ok with you."

"Yeah, that would be perfect."

"Cass, it's going to be ok." He kissed me lightly. Just then a small bird landed beside us. He nodded and then flew away. It was as if God had sent him to say it would be ok. A light rain began to fall as we stood, almost to show that God was crying with us. Kevin and I walked back together to the room.

Everyone was there. We all cried together.

Kevin made all the arrangements with the county and Scottie was buried on July 9, 2002 under the willow next to the stream. Nick and Lisa came back for the funeral. I was so saddened to have to call them and ruin their honeymoon, but I knew that Kevin needed Nick and I needed Lisa. The next few months were hard, Kevin and I walked around in a daze. The album helped keep Kevin ‘s mind pre-occupied, but at night I would find him in the nursery sitting in the rocking chair holding the blue elephant he had bought during the tour for the baby. We were scheduled to fly back to Orlando on September 1st so that the boys could shoot the video for the new single. Kevin and I were struggling with leaving Scottie in Kentucky for so long, but we knew that we would be back in October for Kevin's birthday.



We called Sarah and asked her to break the news. We gave her a statement to read and asked her to make sure that know one asked for an interview. We would do that in time, but right now was to soon. She handled it perfectly. The fans were so great.



August 31, 2002 we were packing the cabin to get ready to fly back to Orlando. The other boys had already flown back home. Brian and Leighanne were in Atlanta, Nick and Lisa was in Tampa, Howie and AJ were in Orlando. It was a beautiful night and the moon was shining so bright outside. I finished cleaning up the dishes and went to look for Kevin. I saw the front door open and through the screen I could see his outline. He was kneeling by the stream with Scottie. I grabbed a blanket and walked out to where he was. As I got closer I could hear his voice. It was trembling and I could tell he was crying.





"Hey bud, I want to let you know that mom and I have to fly off to Orlando tomorrow, but don't think that were leaving you. You're always in our hearts and we'll be back in October. I hope you know how much we love you and miss you. You will always be a special part of our lives and we will never forget you, Oh Scottie...."He began to sob. I dropped down beside him and gathered him in my arms. We sat crying together.

"I'm so sorry Kevin. I know it hurts. Please baby." He looked at me; I wiped the tear that was falling down his cheek.

"Kevin, make love to me." He took me in his arms and we made love under the moonlight. We needed each other so badly. We snuggled in the blanket next to the tree and listen to the wind in the willows.

"Kevin, this maybe too soon for you to hear, but I want a baby. I want us to try and have another baby."
"But"
"I've already talked to the doctor and he said it was fine. That when ever we were ready we could start trying. I don't want to replace Scottie, we could never replace him. I love him so much and I will never forget him, but Kevin we were going to be a family and we are, but I want a baby with you so badly. Please give me another baby." The tears started to fall."

"Are you sure Cass?" He looked at me. His eyes held mine. I could only nod.

"I want a baby to. When?"

"Well, I haven't gone back on the pill yet. I mean, how about tonight?"

"Anything you want Darlin, anything you want." We made love again.

"Cass."

"Yeah boo?" We lay there under the willow.

"This is home. This is where everything is right. Ya know. I mean. No matter what as long as I can get back here it will all be all right? Cass if anything ever happens to me, just knows that I'll always be here. You can come here to the willow and I'll find you Ok."

"Yeah, I feel the same way. This is home and Kevin. Never let anything happen to you ok."

"I'll do my best."

We fell asleep under the willow next to Scottie's grave.





The boys worked hard for the next month on the video. Things were getting easier and Kevin and I headed full force into working on a new addition for our family. Lisa called and told me she needed to come over and talk to me. We planned to have lunch that afternoon.

"Hey girl, how's it going" I let Lisa in the front door.

"Good, how are you? You look great."

"Thanks. Come on out back. I got lunch out by the pool."
"So how are things?"
"Good. Kevin and I. Well, we've decided to try and have another baby. But you're the only person I've told"

"Oh Cass that's wonderful" She came over and hugged me.

"Yeah, We are not trying to replace Scottie and we still miss him terribly, but we want a baby Lisa. You don't think it's too soon do you?"
"NO, You and Kevin are the only ones that can make that decision As long as it's what the two of you want then I say go for it. Besides everyone knows how bad you two wanted Scottie. We all miss him but we know that we can't have him back and he can't be replaced."

"Oh Lisa, thank you so much, I don't know what I'd do with out you."

"Well, I'm kinda glad you told me all of this. It makes what I have to say a lot easier."

"So what's up in Carter land?"
"I'm pregnant" she looked quickly to the ground.

"OH" I tried to hide the tears welling in my eyes.

"Cass, I'm so sorry. We didn't plan this. You know I had been on antibiotics two weeks before the wedding we had been using other protection. And well, well one night while we were in Fiji we were walking on the beach the moon was shining so bright and the breeze coming off the ocean, we had had a romantic dinner and a bottle of wine. Nick pulled me down to the sand. We made love right there on the beach and neither one of us thought about a condom. It was just so perfect.





I never thought I would actually get pregnant. Lisa it's been so hard on Nick to look at Kevin. He wants to tell him, but he doesn't' want to hurt him, just like I don't want to hurt you."
"Oh Lisa, please don't think like that. I'm happy for the two of you. I mean. Are you two ok with this?"

"Yeah, Nick's actually excited and so am I." I pulled her into a hug.

"Lisa I'm thrilled and if plans go as I hope it won't be long and I'll be pregnant too. Then we can do this together."
"Oh Cass, thank you. I love you."
"I love you too. So when are you due?"

"April 20th"

"That's wonderful. Look, you and Nick come over for dinner tonight and you can tell Kevin. That way I'll be there beside him, but I think it will be ok."
"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I mean it's not like you two will be able to hide this forever and Kevin will have to hear it sometime. You know how he feels about Nick and he would be hurt if Nick was not the one to tell him. It will be fine. Trust me."

"Ok, what time?"

"7:30 ok with you?"
"Yep, I'll run home and change and pick up Nick."

"Ok, we'll see you then" She got up and left. I went to the bedroom and fell on my bed. I pulled Kevin's pillow tight to my body and began to cry.

"Please God. Let Kevin take this well, but most of all if you can see fit. Please let me get pregnant soon." I fell asleep curled up with Kevin's pillow and a picture of Scottie in my arms.

"Hey babe" he moved the hair from my eyes.

"Hey boo."

"You Ok?"
"Yeah, just thinking a lot about Scottie today?"

"I see. He took the baby's picture from my hand and set it on the bedside table."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Well, I invited Nick and Lisa over for dinner and I need to get dressed, but first I need a shower. Wanna scrub my back?"
"My pleasure." He lifted me off the bed and carried me to the bathroom.



After dinner Nick, Lisa, Kevin and I were sitting around the fire pit out back enjoying a glass of wine. Well, Lisa was drinking water.

"So Nick. What's your deal? You seem like your sitting in front of a firing squad?"

"Well" Nick looked at me, I just nodded. Kevin and I were snuggled up on the hammock and Nick and Lisa were sitting in the swing.

"Well, Kevin. Lisa and I have some news and well. It's not news that I'm sure you want to hear?"
"Spill it already. I'm a big boy."
"We're going to have a baby." I felt Kevin tighten up behind me. I grabbed his hand with mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Well man, congratulations." I heard his voice crack.

"Kevin, please know that Lisa and I did not plan this. I mean we're excited don't get me wrong. Well, let's just say that antibiotics and birth control pills do not mix, and well we got a little drunk in Fiji and...."

"WHOA, don't need all those details man." Kevin had sat up straighter.

"Well, I'm excited for the two of you." I said smiling at Nick.

"You knew?" Kevin asked. "Yeah, Lisa came by this afternoon and told me."
"Oh." He pulled his hand from mine.

"Kevin, please don't be mad. We loved Scottie to and I swear if we could trade this baby and give Scottie back to you and Cass we would, but we can't?"
"Don't say that man. You don't know what your saying. Scottie lived his life and this little one of yours will live his or her life. Man really. I am happy for you. I can't say that my heart doesn't hurt, but that's not your fault and doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to being an uncle to this little one. Really. I'm looking forward to this, besides." Kevin stopped talking and looked at me. I just nodded.

"Besides what?" Nick asked.

"Cass and I have decided to start trying for a baby of our own."

"Oh man that's great."

"Well, no one else knows so please don't say anything, but Nick really this is great news and we're happy for you. Right Lisa." "Yep" I said. We sat around talking about all the work going into the new album and started guessing how long it would be before Bri and Leigh would make an announcement of their own.

We said goodnight and I went to clean the kitchen. I heard the back door open and close and I went to find Kevin.

He was swimming. I sat dangling my legs over the side of the pool.

"You ok boo?"

"Yeah." "Cass?"

"Yeah?" He swam up and was hanging onto the side of the pool right in front of me.

"Is that why you were crying this afternoon when I found you with Scottie's picture?"

"Yeah, I'm happy for them, but it made me remember the night I told you that Scottie was coming? I'm happy for them really, I just hope that it won't take us too long and we'll be making the same announcement. Ya know?"

"Yeah, why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, Nick wanted to do it. I felt that it was something he really needed to do and if he felt that I had told you he would not be getting your honest reaction. He needed that Kev."

"Yeah, I guess your right. Yeah, I hope it won't take too long before you tell me we are pregnant again. And speaking of that, I think we need to get to work on that." He grabbed me and pulled me into the pool.

We made love. Only two more days and we were heading back to Kentucky. I was ready; I was missing Scottie and Home.
Chapter 11 by 2liveis2luv
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,"
"Happy birthday dear boo. Happy birthday to you"

I walked into our bedroom carrying a breakfast tray with pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast and Orange Juice.

Kevin slowly rolled over and sat up in the bed. The comforter feels to his waist, he wasn't wearing a shirt and I almost dropped the tray.

"Morning boo, happy birthday" I sat the tray across his lap.

"What this?" There was a long rectangular box wrapped on the tray.

"Just a little something I thought you might like to have? Open it."

He tore the paper off and found a rectangular bracelet box inside. He slowly began to lift the lid.

"OH SH**" he jumped up from the bed knocking the tray of food all over the place.

"OH GOD CASS, are you for real? I mean, seriously?"
"Yeah, I guess that night under the willows before we flew back to Orlando was more special than we thought? I just took the test this morning in hopes that I was right? I guess you're happy?"
He began to dance me around the room.

"Happy, baby this couldn't be a better present. How are you feeling?"
"Great, I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, ya wanna go?"

"Yep, I'll be there. Hang on a sec." He took off in his boxer shorts out the front door.

"Where are you going?" I hollered at his back eyeing the mess all over the bed and floor.

I walked towards the front door and saw Kevin at Scottie's grave. He came back in the house shivering.

"You idiot it's not summer." I placed a blanket around his shoulders. He grabbed me and pulled me into the blanket with him.

"I know, but I've can think of a better way to warm me up. Besides I wanted to tell Scottie he was going to be a big brother." He leaned down to kiss me. He picked me up in his arms and was headed towards the bedroom.

"And where do you think your going? There is a mess all over the bedroom.

"That's ok. I want a shower anyway. Scrub my back?"

"Anytime boo, Anytime."

Kevin and I went to the doctor the next day. They did an ultrasound and everything looked great.

"It looks like your due around June 1st. Now remember what happened last time is a fluke thing and will probably never happen again, however we will be monitoring you closer to the end of your pregnancy and limiting the amount of time you travel. Everything looks fine and the baby has a strong healthy heartbeat so you two just enjoy this pregnancy. Ok. If you have any questions here's my card feel free to call me day or night. Ok?"

"Thanks Doctor. I know that we may end up being a little paranoid this time, but I just know that this pregnancy will be all right. I can feel it." Kevin and I left the doctors office and headed home. We decided that we were not going to tell anyone until at least the second trimester.

Nick and Lisa's pregnancy was progressing great and so was mine. We figured the babies would be born about a month apart. Howie and Susie decided to get married and were planning a valentine's day wedding and AJ had found Cierra. She really seemed to be exactly what AJ needed. They seemed so happy together and all of the boys were finally getting their lives to where they wanted to be. The new album was not to be dropped until June after the birth of the baby and then the tour would start in the fall. We figured the baby would be old enough to travel with us and Kevin and Nick had already made arrangements to get a bus for their families. Everyone was so excited when we finally told them about the baby. We were all scared but excited. The holidays came and went so fast and then there was the wedding. It was so beautiful. All decorated in red and white. The boys all dressed in black tuxes and the girls in red satin dresses. Lisa, Leigh and I were not asked to be bridesmaids, but we enjoyed sitting in the congregation starring at our men. Leigh, Susie and Cierra decided to throw a baby shower for Lisa and I on April 1st. They pulled an April fools joke to get us to the shower so we would be surprised. Again Kevin and I had opted not to find out what the baby was so we got a good mixture of each. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that Nick and Lisa had found out they were having twins. Two boys. OH LORD, watch out world two more Carter boys on the way. April 10, 2003 found us all pacing the waiting room of the hospital. Lisa had gone into labor in the middle of the night and we were waiting for Nick to come out.

"Are you ok boo?" I walked up behind Kevin. He was starring out the window.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about the day Scottie was born." I wrapped my arms around him.

The baby kicked as I leaned my belly into his back.

"Yeah, I feel you too." He turned and placed his hand on my stomach. The baby kicked again.

"I think somebody likes their daddy being around."

"Well somebody's daddy likes being around."

"Cass, I'm scared, but I'm excited. I happy for Nick, but I'm also sad."

"That's normal Kevin. I feel the same way. I mean. I can't wait to see these two little ones, but it's also going to be sad holding them and remembering how it felt to hold Scottie." A tear escaped my eye.

"Hey now" He took his thumb and wiped away my tear.

"I'm ok" I buried my head into his chest as he kissed me on the top of my head.
"I'm A DADDY!!!"
Nick came barreling out of the double doors we all stood and met him halfway. Kevin with his arm around my waist.

"OMG, that was like the most amazing thing ever. I mean. They are so beautiful and screaming their heads off?"

"Well, do THEY have names?" Kevin asked.

"Kev, can I talk to you a second?" Nick took Kevin over to the wall. We all watched as Nick talked to Kevin. Kevin began to cry and took Nick into his arms. Both the men stood there weeping. Then they walked back over to us.

"With Kevin's' permission we have Thomas Scott and James Howard Carter. You guys mean the world to me and I just hope that my boys will turn out half as great as you guys." Everyone cried.

We went into see the boys. They were so beautiful. Tommy had a head full of blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes; he was going to look just like Nick. Jamie looked like Lisa with a little bit of blonde hair on his head, but he had hazel eyes. They were so perfect. It hurt my heart when I saw them and thought about Scottie, but then I felt our baby move inside of me and knew that it was going to be ok.



Kevin and I flew back to Kentucky one week after the twins were born. We knew we wanted to be settled at the cabin when the time came for the baby to be born. The doctor had been monitoring me closely and we were having weekly ultrasounds. Kevin grew more and more nervous as the weeks progressed, he was afraid to leave my side. On May 10, 2003 I finally convinced him to let me spend sometime with Scottie by myself and he was going to spend the day in the studio working on the new album. I grabbed a blanket and walked down to the stream and spread the blanket out next to Scottie's grave.

"Hey there little man" I ran my hand over the concrete slab, tracing the patter of a train that was etched on top. "Well, it won't be long and you'll be a big brother. I hope you know how much mommy and daddy miss you and love you. We know that you will be watching over us when your baby brother or sister gets here and that you will make sure everything is ok." I lay down on the blanket and continued to talk to my baby. I must have fallen asleep. It was so beautiful outside the wind was blowing in the willows making the most beautiful and peaceful sounds and the stream running was so calming. I don't know how long I had been there but Kevin sat down beside me and began to rub my stomach.

"Hey there little one" he began to talk to the baby.

"Hope you come to see us real soon. Daddy's ready to hold you and love you and kiss you."

"Hey boo" I opened my eyes.

"Hey darling. You ok?"

"Yeah, just a little tired. I had a good talk with Scottie and let him know that we love him very much."

"That's good. I brought you a sandwich. You wanna sit up and eat it." He held his hand out to me so I could pull my self up. I slowly sat up and leaned back against the tree.

"Uhh Ohh" I looked up at Kevin.

"UHH OHH WHAT?" He jumped to his feet.

"I think my water just broke. I think that our baby heard your request and is ready to meet you to." I held my hand out for him to pull me up. Just as I stood up another large gush came.

"Umm, I think you better go get the car. My bag is in the closet next to the front door. I'll just wait here ok?"

"I'll be right back" He took off running towards the house. I gathered up the blanket to have something to sit on in the car. I watched as he barged in the front door and back out and then ran around to the garage. I could hear the car crank up. I turned to look at Scottie's grave. "Ok, little man, here we go, be with us." Kevin pulled up and helped me into the car. He called everyone on the way to the hospital. We arrived at 1:30pm and I was placed in a room on a monitor. We could hear the baby's heartbeat loud and clear. Scottie's delivery had been so rushed and I didn't remember any of it. Kevin was trying to figure it all out when the doctor walked in.

"Hey there you two, so let's get us a baby ok?" He came over to the bed and began to check me. "Seems like your 4 centimeters dilated and about 80% effaced. Are you comfortable?"
"Yeah, just feels like a little menstrual cramp that's all."

"Ok, well if it gets bad enough you can have an epidural at anytime. You're far enough along that it shouldn't slow you down. I'll be back in about an hour to check on your progress. Any questions?"
"Is the baby ok?" Kevin asked.

"Yes, both the baby and your wife are great. Don't worry Kevin. I'm watching them closely any sign of trouble and we'll be moving fast. Ok."

"Ok." The doctor left and Kevin sat beside me on the bed.

"You ok darlin" He kissed my hand.

"I'm fine, really Kevin. It's not as bad as everyone said." Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Can I come in you two?" It was Mama Ann.

"Yeah, come on in?" I said. She walked over to the bed and put her hands on Kevin's shoulders.

"You two ok?" She asked squeezing Kevin.

"Yeah, the doctor says everything's going great. I'm about 4 centimeters."
"Good. Maybe it won't be long. I'm gonna be right out in the waiting room. If you need anything please come get me. I'll be praying."

"Thanks Mama" Kevin stood up and hugged his mom. She came over and kissed me on the forehead and squeezed my hand. She then left. Brian and Leighanne were next to come in. They had been at the Littrell's when we called.

"Hey Cuz" Brian came in and hugged Kevin.

"Hey Girl." Leighanne came and sat next to me. "How are you?"

"I'm really good. There's not much pain at all and I seem to be progressing quickly. I'm more worried about him?" Kevin and Brian were standing by the window. The worry showed all over Kevin's face.

"I know. Bri really wanted to be here for him."

"I'm glad you're both here. Ya know what, I really feel good about this. I know that Scottie is with us and will protect this little one."

"I think your right." Just then I was hit with a big pain and took in a deep breath. Kevin ran to my side.

"Babe, you ok. Come on talk to me." I was trying to concentrate on getting through the contraction.

"Cass. You're scarring me please. Are you Ok?" I could see tears in his eyes. I just nodded.

As the contraction subsided I began to breath easier.

"Wow. I said that one had a kick to it. I'm sorry boo. That was just a really strong contraction and I wasn't expecting it. Really, I'm fine." Another contraction began. Brian and Leighanne quietly slipped out the room as the nurse came in. "Well now. Looks like someone's getting anxious to get out." She said as she looked at the monitor.

"Yeah, I think you might be right" as another contraction took over. I just squeezed Kevin's hand and took deep breaths to get through it.

"Ok mom, let's see what's going on?" she checked me again. "Wow girl, this baby is in a big hurry. Your 9 centimeters already. Hope you didn't want that epidural. I'd say we'd have a baby here in about an hour."
Kevin looked down at me.

"I'll be right back," he said.

"Ok boo. I'm fine." He slipped out the door. I could hear him. I later found out that he had slid down the wall and was crying in his hands when AJ found him.

"Hey Train, everything ok" AJ squatted down in front of him. Kevin began to wipe at his eyes.

"Yeah, they said the baby should be here in about an hour" He looked into AJ's eyes. "I'm so scarred bone. I can lose either of them. I won't be able to take it."

"Whoa, what makes you think that you'll lose either of them? Has something happened?"
"NO, it's just what if?"

"Man, you can't think like that. Cass needs you now. Come on, what happened with Scottie was a freak thing man. This baby and Cass will be fine. Now get you butt up and get in there with your wife." Kevin stood and the two embraced. Just then the doctor came down the hallway.

"I hear we're ready for a baby. Think you might better join me Kevin." He pushed the door open.

"Thanks bone" the two shook hands.

"Anytime man, Anytime. Now go be with your wife and baby." Kevin followed the doctor in the room.

Kevin came to stand beside me at the head of the bed and held my hand.

"Ok Cass, when you feel the next contraction start, you push with all your might. Ok?"

"OK, here goes everything." I said squeezing Kevin's hands.

I began to push. It was the most amazing feeling. I could actually feel the baby moving down.

"WOW" the doctor said.

"WHAT?" Kevin and I both said.

"Now that's a lot of hair." He laughed. "I see a lot of black hair here." Kevin began to smile.

"Ok Cass. Now I need you to stop pushing once the heads out. I need to check and make sure the cords not wrapped around the neck. Once I do that you can push away. We're almost there."

I pushed 3 more times and the head was out.

"Wow, what a face. You wanna see Kevin?" Kevin looked down and the tears began to fall.

"Looks just like Scottie" He whispered. I began to cry as the next contraction hit me. I pushed with all my might. I wanted to see my baby, to hold it in my arms.

"IT"S A GIRL!!" The doctor yelled. Kevin began to sob and hugged me. They placed the baby on my chest. We stroked her and kissed her and cried. She was the spitting image of Scottie. A head full of black hair. She was so beautiful. The nurse took her to clean her up. I watched as Kevin stood over our daughter and let her hold his finger with her tiny hand. I watched the tears fall from his eyes as the nurse wrapped her up and placed her in his arms and the sobs overtook him. He brought her too me and placed her in my arms.

"I'm gonna go tell everyone" he chocked out and turned to leave. I sat kissing our baby girl and talking to her. Kevin entered the waiting room and walked straight to his mother falling to his knees and burying his head in her lap. He cried.

"Kevin' what's wrong?" Mama Anne asked getting scared.

"It's a girl mama, she's so beautiful and she looks just like Scottie." Anne wrapped her arms around her son and let him cry.

"It's a girl" He finally stood and told everyone else who was waiting. Congratulations echoed the room and Kevin left to come back to the room.

"Hey darlin" He peeked his head in the door. The doctor and nurses were gone and I was feeding the baby.

"Hey boo. You Ok?"

"Yeah. Everyone said to tell you congratulations. I told them they could come to see her in a little while Ok?"
"That's fine. Do you want so see your daughter?" He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

He began to gently stroke the baby's head. "How is she?" His voice cracked.

"Wonderful. The pediatrician came in right after you left and said she was wonderful. She is healthy and she weights 7 lbs and 2 ozs, she's 22 inches long. I think she might be tall like her father." This brought a smile to his face. She had finished nursing.

"Here, you hold her." I handed the baby to him and he stood up and walked over the recliner and sat with her. I watched, as he looked her over examining every part of her. He kissed her hands and held her to his chest. I watched as she snuggled close to her daddy. Kevin looked up at me.

"Thank you" he began to cry.

"Oh boo. Thank you. She's perfect."

I sat and watched in amazement as Kevin and his daughter bonded.

A knock on the door and we were bombarded by family. Mama Anne immediately scooped up the little one from Kevin and began loving her. Congratulations came from all around the room. We got a call from Lisa and Nick. They were going to fly in with the twins on Saturday.

"Well, what's my granddaughters name?" Mama Anne turned and looked at us.

We both looked at AJ.

"Alexandria Elizabeth Richardson" We announced. AJ caught his breath. "Lexi for short."











Everyone took turns loving on Lexi and getting a chance to know her. Around 7pm everyone left and I went to the bathroom. When I came out I saw the most amazing site. She was snuggled close to Kevin as he sang softly to her. They fell asleep with her holding his hand.

"I got up and walked over to cover them with a blanket and placed a kiss on Kevin's head and then one on Lexi's I placed my hand over Kevin's hand that was resting on Lexi's back.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I asked softly with tears in my eyes.

"You loved us Cass, You just loved us." Kevin whispered back.



It had been two weeks since Lexi was born and Kevin hardly let her out of his sight. He would take her to the studio and play the piano for her. She loved to be with her dad. Every time he came in the room and she heard his voice she would search for him. He always knew how to comfort her I could tell she was Daddy's Girl.



Kevin made sure that he spent a lot of time with Lexi. He was there when she said her first work and he was the one she took her first step towards. He took her everywhere with him. They had such a bond. Mother's day this year was also Lexi's first birthday. We had decided to throw a big party at the stream. Kevin hired a clown and had pony rides. Nick and Lisa were bringing the boys. They had grown so much. They both looked like miniature Nicks. Howie and Susie were coming as well as Brian and Leighanne and AJ and Cierra were also going to be there. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there was a breeze blowing across the field. All of the family was there and Lexi was having so much fun. Kevin and Nick had walked up towards the house about half way there he heard a small voice calling him.

"Daddy" Kevin turned to see Lexi chasing him up the hill. She tripped and fell and lay their crying. I had not seen Kevin run that fast since the day she was born.

"Hey princess, you ok" He bent down to pick her up.

"Boo boo," she said pointing to her knee. She had scraped her knee. Kevin bent down and kissed her knee.

"All better?"

"Uh Huh? Where you going?"

"I was going to show Uncle Nick the new music we've been writing."
"Wanna come too."

"Ok." He picked her up and they headed to the house. I just watched.



We were all sitting around the fire later that night when Brian spoke up.

"Well, it seems like a perfect day. Lexi's turning one and the twins are here. I just can't think of anything better than this? Can you?" He said turning to Leighanne.

"Oh Brian, just tell them already." She said with a huge grin on her face.

"Leigh and I are gonna have a baby." He said. Congratulations went around from everyone.



"Man, could today been any better." Kevin was standing by the window of our bedroom looking out at the stream.

"No, Lexi's party was perfect and to find out that Bri and Leigh are pregnant. Man this was a great day."

"Wanna make it a great night?" He turned looking at me wiggling his eyebrows. I stood up and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.
"And just what do you have in mind Mr. Richardson?" I reached up and placed a kiss on his neck.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could take a moonlight stroll down to the stream. Nick said that he and Lisa would listen out for Lexi. Wanna go?"

"Why of course, I would love to." We grabbed a blanket and headed down to the stream.

Kevin spread out the blanket and leaned back against the tree. I snuggled up next to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

"You remember the last night we spent out here?" I asked.

"Yep, I think that was the night that you got pregnant with Lexi." He smiled.

"I think your right. Well there won't be any getting me pregnant tonight mister. I am on the pill, remember" I looked up at him.

"Oh yeah, you think so huh." He began to tickle me.
"Kevin please stop" I was laughing so hard.

"You gotta say it."

"I will not, we are married now."

‘I don't care, say it." He continued to tickle me; my sides began to hurt from laughing. He was on top of me and had me pinned down.

"Ok, Kevin Scott Richardson is the man of my dreams" He lips crashed down to mine as he began to passionately kiss me. We finally broke apart. I was trying to catch my breath.

"Ya know Boo, you are the man of my dreams" His hand was brushing back my hair.

"And your everything I've ever wanted. Cass, I can't even begin to tell you how happy you've made me. I mean, I'll never be able to thank you for giving me Lexi."

"Whoa there, you are half responsible for that. I could thank you too ya know."
"I know, but you were stong enough to ask for her. I wasn't."

"It's ok boo. I knew where your heart was."

"Cass, I want to have more children with you. Not now, but someday."

"I want that too Kevin. I want us to have a son. Not to replace Scottie but to have a son that we watch grow. Ya know what I mean."

"Yeah, I'd like that too. But what if we end up with all girls?"

"Well, I don't' mind, but do you think you can handle another princess in the house?"

"Well if their anything like my first princess and my queen then I'll be just fine with that."

We lay their talking for hours. Spilling our hearts to each other. Discussing the tour and what our future would hold. I had never felt so close to him, so complete with him. We made love into the wee hours of the morning and then we snuck back into the house and to our bed. Life could not have been better.
Chapter 12 by 2liveis2luv
The tour began in August and the boys were hotter than every. They had decided to tone the shows down and make them more intimate and involve the audience. Lexi and I traveled with Kevin on his bus and we spent the afternoons playing with her or sightseeing. Lisa had brought the twins and we would spend the evenings together while the boys performed. Leighanne would join us when we got close to Atlanta but she was trying to take it easy. The baby was due in November and she wanted to make sure that all went well. Howie and Susie spent every moment together that they could, no plans for any little Dorough's they were too busy spending time with each other. AJ and Cierra had decided to try living together. Cierra had given AJ a Yorkshire Terrier puppy as an anniversary gift and he went everywhere with them. AJ said they didn't need children that the puppy was enough to handle. Life in the world of the BSB was going great. The boys all seemed happy and confident. Kevin had decided to take up flying lessons so for his birthday I gave him a gift certificate for a full course. He was so excited. I loved hearing him talk about his lessons when he would come home. His eyes would sparkle more and more as he described the scenery. He talked about wanting to buy his own plane so he could take Lexi and I to different places. We enjoyed time in Orlando and at the cabin. The tour was scheduled to take a break for Thanksgiving and then again the second week of December and would resume on the 3rd of January.

We were all patiently awaiting the birth of Tyler Wallace Littrell. We all knew that Brian was so excited and so all the gang planned to have Thanksgiving at the Cabin with Kevin and I so that we would all be around for the birth.

"Hey Leigh, just in case you decide to drop that kid today. Can you wait till after we eat? The food sure smells good." Brian popped AJ on the back of the head.

"Now Bone, you be nice. If Tyler decides he wants to join us for dinner we'll be more than happy to have him." I smiled as I carried the sweet potato soufflé to the table. Leighanne looked so miserable and on the verge of crying.

"Hey Leigh, You ok?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just so ready for this baby to come on. My feet are swollen. I'm in the bathroom every 5 minuets and hate the fact that Brian has to help me put on my shoes."

"Girl you're not telling me anything I don't know. I mean I would get so embarrassed when Kevin would have to help me get out of the tub. Talk about feeling like a beached whale." We both laughed.

"MMM" Leighanne winced.

"You Ok?" Yeah. This little man has gotten so active today. Can I help with dinner?"
"Yeah, come on in the kitchen and help bring out the dishes, we'll be ready to eat in about 15 minuets."

We walked into the kitchen and continued to bring out all the dishes.

"Man, I wish that baby would hurry up." Brian whispered to Kevin.

"He'll be here soon. Just be patient."

"I am, it's just that she cries all the time. I so fat, I can't do this, I can't do that. I've tried to tell her over and over again that I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and I get slapped. I just don't know what to do or say anymore?"

"Wow, Cass only got like that when she took a bath. She had a hard time getting back out the tub and I'd have to help her. Sorry cuz can't help you with this one. But don't worry the baby will be here soon and she'll forget all about it."

"I hope so."

"DINNER IS SERVED." I hollered into the living room. Everyone came and sat around the table. The twins in their highchairs next to Nick and Lisa and Lexi between Kevin and I. We all laughed and had so much fun talking about the tour and how well the album was selling. We talked about plans for Christmas and even began to discuss plans for a big New Year's party. Kevin didn't seem to excited about a New Year's party this year, but he never said why. We cleaned the dishes while the guys went to watch the football game. Kentucky was playing and the boys had been so excited about getting to see the game.

Lisa took the twins up stairs with Lexi to take a nap, Cierra was snuggled up in AJ's lap claiming to be tired and Howie and Susie had decided to head back to the hotel. I was going to walk to the stream and place an arrangement on Scottie's grave; Leighanne asked if she could go. We grabbed our coats and gave our men a kiss and headed towards the stream.

"Cass?" Leighanne asked as we walked along the path down to the stream.

"Yeah?"
"Is it still real hard to come down here?"
"No, I love it here. I can talk to Scottie and if I feel like crying this is usually where I do it. I've gotten beyond the fact that he's gone and we won't ever get him back, but I can almost feel him when I'm here. Having Lexi now makes it a lot easier as well. She looks so much like he did."
"Wow, I don't know what I would do if something happens to Tyler."

"Oh Leigh, don't even think that. Tyler will be here soon and he's going to be wonderful."

"MMM" Leighanne winced again.

"Are you sure your ok?" I had noticed that all through dinner she had been doing the same thing.

"Yeah, just seems like he can't get comfortable."

"So are you and Kevin going to have any more kids?"
"Yeah, we want more. I was actually the one that asked to get pregnant the last time. So I'm just going to wait until he's ready and I know he'll ask. Only this time I hope we get a little more practice time in." We both burst out laughing.

"Oh, I'm sure there's a problem in that department, right?" Leigh winked at me.

"Well, let's just say that Kevin definitely knows how to satisfy this woman." We had made it to the stream and I knelt and placed the flowers on Scottie's grave. Leighanne had walked over to the willow and was leaning against it as I talked to my little boy. I looked up to catch Leighanne holding her stomach and making that same face again.

"Leigh, are you sure your not having contractions?" I stood up and walked over to her.

"I don't think so? What do they feel like?"

"Well, they just feel like your stomach gets really tight and like a bad menstrual cramp."

"Oh. Uhh.... I guess it could be?" Just then another one hit her. I reached out and felt her stomach.

"Leigh. I think we might better get you to the hospital. I think Tyler might want to join us for leftovers." I grabbed her arm and we headed back towards the house. The boys were all still in the den watching the football game. They were so excited, yelling and screaming at the TV. that they didn't even hear us come back in the door. Leighanne needed to go to the bathroom and I told her I would get Brian and tell him that we needed to go. I walked over to where he was sitting on the couch and leaned over his shoulder.

"Hey Bri" His eyes were fixed on the T.V.

"Hey Cass, what's up?" He didn't budge.

"Umm, I hate to interrupt your fun here. But I think that Leigh maybe in labor and we might need to get to the hospital."

"Ok, yeah. Sure. Be there in just a few." Just then the Wildcats scored a touchdown. The room erupted in cheers from the two cousins. Hi fives were flying.

"Brian" I said a little louder as I caught a glimpse of Leighanne walking back towards us.

"Uhh Huhh?"
"BRIAN THOMAS LITTRELL" Leighanne's voice broke echoed through the room. It hit Brian about that time what I had been saying.

"Oh Sh**" He jumped up and ran to Leigh's side. "You ok babe."

"Yeah, but I think Cass is right. We'd better go." The two headed outside and got in their car.
"We'll be there in a little bit ok guys?" We waved as they pulled away. I ran upstairs to tell Lisa. She was alseep on the bed with the twins and Lexi was in her crib asleep. I stood there starring at the boys and Lisa. Tommy looked just like Nick when he slept. He was wild, all over the place. Jamie had snuggled up close to Lisa and was sleeping peaceful. I was so happy for her. I felt two arms wrap around me.

"Hey darlin"

"Hey boo." I said as I turned in his arms to face him.

"You wanna go to the hospital?"
"Yep. I need to wake up Lisa, but she was so tired. She said that Tommy was up half the night with his 2-year molars cutting in. I hate to wake her."

"Well, Cierra said she and AJ would stay until she got up and then AJ and Lisa could come to the hospital and she would stay with the kids. I wanna go be there for Brian."

"Oh babe, of course we want to be there for them. Let me check on Lexi and we can go." We walked over to Lexi's crib and I straightened her blanket.

"Sleep tight princess" Kevin whispered and we headed back down to the living room.

"Thank you so much Cierra, I really appreciate this." I said as I put my jacket on.

"Oh no problem you guys are all close to Brian and Leighanne and I'm still the newbie of the group. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Oh Cierra, your not a newbie, we all love you very much. In fact I think you're the best thing that every happened to AJ."

"Really?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't told you that before. Everything seems to be so crazy anymore. Really, please don't feel like you don't fit in. You're a perfect fit."

"Same thing I've been telling her." AJ came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her kissing her on the cheek. "But thanks Cass for emphasizing it for me."

"Anytime Bone, ya know I love ya." I hugged them both and ran to meet Kevin in the car.

"OH A NEW BACKSTREET BABY." I squealed as we headed out towards the hospital.

"OH LORD." Moaned Kevin.



We arrived at the hospital and found all the family in the waiting room. Nick and Howie were over by the coke machine. Mama Anne and Aunt Jackie were sitting side-by-side holding hands in the corner. Kevin went and gave his mom and aunt a hug. Brian came out and gave us the update. 5 centimeters and she had just gotten her epidural and then disappeared back to be with Leigh.

Kevin and I sat on the sofa in the corner; I snuggled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Hey boo?"
"Yeah?"

"You ever think about us having another baby?"
"Sometimes."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I'm having fun with Lexi, and besides she doesn't take up so much of your time anymore. I just not sure I'm ready to share you again." He pulled me closer."

"Yeah, it is easier now that she's older. Ya know we've hardly had any alone time together since she's been born and with the tour. Wow, when was the last time we took time for ourselves?"
"Too Long, ya know Cass I know that you were getting excited about the New Years Eve party everyone was discussing at dinner. But I was kinda thinking. I just bought the plane and I have my pilot's license, I've already talked to mama and she agreed to watch Lexi. How bouts fly away with me for the New Year?"
"Oh Kevin." I sat up and looked at him. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course darlin."
"Oh that would be great. Where would we go?"
"Well that would be the surprise, just say we can go?"

"I would love to." I hugged him. Brian came bursting out the door.

"HE"S HERE!!!" We all jumped up and ran over to him.

"He's so beautiful mama." Brian was talking to Jackie.

"Blonde hair and blue eyes. He's perfect. I can't believe it."

"How's Leigh?" Jackie asked.

"She wonderful, absolutely wonderful." He went back to the room. Two hours later we all went in to meet Tyler. He was the spitting image of Brian. So tiny and perfect, Kevin and I were standing over in the corner out of the way. Brian walked over to us with Tyler in his arms.

"Wanna hold him?" Brian placed him in my arms. He was so little and perfect, I snuggled him up to my face breathing in his baby scent. It reminded me of Scottie and Lexi. He was so beautiful and perfect; I turned and handed him to Kevin.

"Your turn." I said. I watched as Kevin held the little baby. I could see a tear in his eye.

"Congratulations Cuz." He said as he handed the baby back to Brian. He pulled me close to him. I could feel him shaking. I just held on a little tighter. We left the hospital and headed back home. Nick and Lisa took the twins and headed to the hotel and I took Lexi up and gave her, her bath. I put her in her pink zip up pajamas and pulled her long black curly hair into two pigtails.

"Teddy?" she said asking for her teddy bear Kevin had brought her back from New York.

"Here ya go kiddo." I said as I handed her the bear.

"Where's daddy?" She said, looking at me with those big emerald eyes.

"Down stairs by the fireplace. Why don't you go find him?" I watched as she toddled down the stairs to find her daddy. I cleaned up the bathroom and got Lexi's bed ready for the night then headed downstairs.



"Daddy, why you crying?" Lexi had climbed up in Kevin's lap. He was sitting in the recliner with his back towards the staircase. I watched as Lexi wiped Kevin's cheek with her little hand.

"Daddy's just a little sad princess."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm just missing your brother."
"Why?"

"Well, you know that Uncle Brian and Aunt Leigh had your baby cousin Tyler today, right?"
"Yes, mommy says he looks just like Uncle Brian."
"Yep, he sure does. Well, seeing Tyler today, just reminded me of the day that Scottie was born."

"Oh, but why does that make you sad?"
"I don't know princess. I just miss him that's all."
"Well, I'm here." Her little eyes glistening in the firelight.

"Yep, you sure are, did I ever tell you about the day that you were born?"
"Yes, but tell me again." I watched as she snuggled up in Kevin's arms and he wrapped her up in the blanket. I sat on the staircase and listen to Kevin talk about the day that Lexi was born. I didn't know that he had told her anything about it.

"Well, you see. On the day that you were born, daddy was so excited. He couldn't wait to meet you. But daddy was also a little scared?"
"Was there a monster that made you scared?" I heard the tiny voice ask.

"No, no monsters, I was just scared that something might happen to you or your mom. But then the doctor said that you were coming, and I saw that little face of yours. You were so beautiful. Your head full of black hair. When they put you up on your mama's chest. I couldn't help but cry. I just watched as you looked around, then you looked straight at me. That was when you stole my heart, and you still have it. Did you know that?"

"I don't have your heart daddy. I can hear it right here." He giggled as she patted his chest.

"Oh no, that's the heart that I live with, but you stole the heart that I love with. See I knew from the moment we looked into each other's eyes that I would love you forever. When the nurse was cleaning you up we just stared at each other. Your tiny little hand holding my finger, right here." Kevin took her hand and wrapped it around his finger. "Ever since then I knew that I would move heaven or earth for you. That I was always going to do whatever I had to do to make sure that you were safe and knew that I loved you."

"I love you too daddy. Daddy?"
"Yeah, princess?"
"Will you sing me a song?"
"Sure princess, what you want me to sing?"

"Will you sing Drowning?"

"Anything you want." I sat with tears in my eyes listening to my husband sing our daughter to sleep. I was so amazed to hear his story; I never knew he felt that way. I mean I knew he loved Lexi, its just wow there are no words to describe what I felt inside. I listened to his voice so soft singing.

"Go on and pull me under, cover me with dreams." I fell more in love with him with every word. I got up and went to our bathroom and began running a tub. I lit the candles and undressed. This could not have been a more perfect day I thought to myself as I sank deep into the hot water. I closed my eyes. I could see the picture of Kevin and Lexi in the recliner over and over in my head. I saw Kevin holding Scottie; a tear ran down my cheek.

"Hey darlin, you ok." I felt him wipe the tear. I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the edge of the tub in just his jeans.

"Uh huh. Do you know how amazing you are?" I said playing with his hand in mine.

"Why do you say that?" he looked at me funny.

"I just can't believe all the things you said to Lexi tonight."

"Oh, you heard us huh?"
"I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the story and couldn't stop"
"It's ok. She's just so amazing to me. Cass, I look at her and I see us. I see the love that we have for each other in a living breathing form. I just can't explain how she makes me feel every time she calls me daddy, or how I feel when she gives me hug, or when she wraps those little arms around my neck. God Cass, that's the best feeling in the world."

"I know." I took a deep breath. " Kevin, what happened today at the hospital with Tyler?"
"Oh Cass, I feel so stupid."
"Don't, please tell me."
"It's just that when I held that little boy I realized how much I missed Scottie. I began to think of all the things that Brian and Tyler will do together and I'll never get to do with Scottie. Cass, I love Lexi so much and I never want her to think that she's not special or that I don't love her. God Cass I love her so much, I'd die without her." The tears began to fall down his face. "Cass you and Lexi are my life and if I was to die tomorrow, I would be the happiest man in heaven. I have everything I could want and more, well, almost everything. I know that we can't get Scottie back Cass, but I do want a son. My relationship with my father was amazing and I wanna have that same thing with a son of my own. I must sound horrible. I mean I have a beautiful little girl upstairs that owns my heart and I..."
"NO KEVIN, ENOUGH. I completely understand. I want us to have a son too. I miss Scottie everyday and I love Lexi more than life itself, but somehow I feel that something's missing. That's why I asked you today at the hospital if you wanted to have any more children. Kevin I want to have another baby with you. I love you so much and your right when you say that Lexi is a walking and breathing testament to our love. She is that and so much more. But Kevin I want more children with you."
"Cass?"

"Yeah?" We were both crying by this point.

"Will you have my baby? Can we have another baby?" His eyes lowered down.

"Oh Kevin, yes, oh god yes. I want that so much." I grabbed him and pulled him into the tub with me and began kissing him. "But Kevin, we could end up with another daughter."

"That would be ok. As long as you say we can keep trying for a son?"

"Well now. That would mean that I would have to keep making love to you. I don't know. I might have to think about that." I began to laugh. "I could definitely handle that Mr. Richardson."

"Cass?"
"Yeah boo."

"Can I at least get undressed before we take this any further?" We both started laughing.

"Only if you promise to scrub my back"
"OH, I'll scrub your back alright, and then I'll make love to you all night long."
"You promise?"

"On my life." He climbed out of the tub and stripped off his wet jeans. We made love and connected on a lever that I never even knew existed, we fell asleep talking about the future and having another baby.
Chapter 13 by 2liveis2luv
Christmas was so wonderful, we spent time with all of the families including the backstreet family. AJ and Cierra got engaged. We were all excited. Lexi really enjoyed getting to play with the twins in the snow. She had to show them the pony that Santa had brought her. His name was Comet and he was jet black. Kevin had been so excited about getting her the pony he almost let it slip. I had finally bought Kevin the Baby Grand Piano he had been wanting. I'm not sure who was more excited on Christmas morning Kevin or Lexi. When the movers showed up with the Piano Kevin was like a little kid. He paced around in circles waiting on it to be set up. When they had finally got it in place and leveled Kevin sat down and ran his finger over the keys. He played until it was time to go to Mama Anne's. Kevin had gotten me a diamond eternity necklace. It was beautiful. Lexi wanted to spend the night with her grandmother and Mama Anne said she didn't mind, so Kevin and I headed back to the house around 8:30.

"So Boo, we got the house all to our selves tonight? Any ideas?" I gave him a grin.

"Oh, I can think of plenty. What about you?"

"Well, I thought I would go slip into something a little more comfortable while you grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen. Then I thought that my husband could give me a little glimpse of the upcoming tour on that new piano while I sat by the fireplace? What'cha think?"

"Sounds good, I want you to hear the song that we all wrote for you girls anyway. It was going to be a surprise for all of you at the first show, but I want you to hear it." Ok, well let's go inside then. I said hoping out the car and heading towards the back door.

I went to the bedroom and found the new gown I had bought when I had been Christmas shopping.

"Hey sexy" I said stepping up behind him as he was sitting on the piano bench. I draped my arms over his shoulders and leaned into his back. He smelled so good.

"Hey darlin" He turned around and brought me to sit in his lap. "Wow, you look beautiful."

"Thank you"
"Your welcome." He gently kissed me on the forehead.

"You wanna go pour the wine"
"sure" I got up and walked over by the fireplace. Kevin had spread out the blankets and pillows on the floor.

"Is this for me?" I said, noticing the single white rose on the pillow.

"Umm Hmm" He looked over at me. I walked back to him and gave him his glass of wine and kissed him on the lips. "Thank You Boo"

"You are more than welcome. Are you ready for your concert?" He grinned.

"Oh yes. Can I jump up and down and scream your name. I could even take my gown off and throw it at you." We both started to laugh.

"I don't think so, the only one taken that gown of you is me, and if that happens now, there won't be a concert." He gave a wicked grin. "Besides I really want you to hear this song."

"Ok, I'll be good." I turned to walk back to the fireplace. I picked up my rose and sat down in the middle of the pillows. Kevin looked over. The fireplace was glowing behind me and the candles he had lit were flickering in the dark. Slowly he began to run his fingers over the ivory keys. He was such a wonderful musician. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds coming out of the piano. It was so soft and sensual. My body began to tingle. Then that voice cut through the air.

That same voice that makes my heart stop when he says my name. The same one that sends chills down my spine when he whispers in my ear. The one that sings our daughter to sleep and clams her fear. I sat there in amazement as his words filled the air.

It seems like yesterday when I said, "I do"
And after all this time
My heart still burns for you
If you don't know by now
That you've my only one.
Take a look inside me
And watch my heart strings come undone
I know I promised you forever
Is there no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm
Is raging outside, you're my safest place to hide
Can you see me, here I am
I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide
You see colors no one else can see
And every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can
I feel my soul unfolding like a flower blooming
When this whole world gets too crazy
And there's no where left to go
I know you'll give me sanctuary
You're the only truth at all
You're the road back home
Can you see me, here I am
Standing here where I've always been
And when words are not enough
I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide
My safest place to hide
My safest place to hide
I know I promised you forever
There's no stronger word I can use
To reassure "I can see
And the to like unfolding promised reassure forever
Is am
I you here road outside, won storm
Is not find
You're giving only my watch inside your my hide
My this use
To the seems my by climb inside to find
You're I a do"
And been
When always one always giving like give all
You're me, see you
If me hide
My see climb

I stronger been
And stronger my safest you I come still no It raging crazy
And me, words there's too safest inside place safest I storm
Is you you go
I my reassure you're a climb yesterday place am
Standing where I enough
I safest feel home

Chorus: all said to then
When the me, me you your whole sanctuary
You're back hide


You can time up
I you I word blooming


When after like here you're place understand symphony
You and my feel truth you safest feel and you've gets flower colors no
Can your to where like place my heart the know needed heart still every here like I you here left when find
You're I've look I've where outside, when now
That you
My are to hide


I heart strings safest world see see this word still soul know you up
I hear I I hide


Chorus:
Can don't like my forever
There's use
To no can
I I am
Standing inside I to heart hide

place my hide


Chorus:
Can need burns can no you breath when place know undone nobody safest still raging there else and at you'll promised for place to me
And when I place here safest hide
You're to a heart know to heart
Take

You when the storm
Is raging outside, you're my safest place to hide
Can you see me, here I am
Standing here where I've always been
When I feel like giving up
I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide
You're my safest place to hide



I sat there with tears in my eyes as he rose and came to sit in front of me. He gathered me in his lap holding me tight. I could feel his body trembling.

"Cass, while we were writing this song, all I could think about is you. You are everything to me. I couldn't live if I didn't' have you in my life." His hand tilted my chin up so that we were looking into each other's eyes.

"You gotta listen to me ok?"

"I just nodded." He sat me back down and settled down in front of me never losing eye contact.

"Baby, the thought of ever losing you just drives me crazy. I love you so much. You really are the air that I breathe. I would come back from death itself just to be with you. You are so much a part of me and I just need you to know that nothing will ever stop me from loving you. I will always be here for you, even when we have to be apart you will feel me here." He placed his hand on my heart. "Do you feel that?" I just nodded. "That's me darlin, me living and breathing right there. Like it says in the song. I climb inside your heart and still find You're my safest place to hide. Cass, this is home, right here with you. I can stand out by the stream and know that nothing will ever take me from you, I'll always find my way back to you." He reached out to wipe the tears falling down my cheek. I could see tears in his eyes glistening with the firelight. I reached out and stroked his face.

"Oh Kevin. I love you too. When you go away on tour or on a promotional trip. I feel like my world stops. Almost like I can't breath. I was blessed the day I met you and was given the world the day you married me. You have given me so much more than I could ever repay you for. I want you to know that I feel the same way." I placed my hand on his chest just above his heart. "This is my safest place to hide. You arms give me all the strength I need. I too find everything will be fine when I'm at the stream. When you're gone I go to the stream to be close to you. I can feel you there. I sit and remember our wedding and the night that we created Lexi. I talk to Scottie and I feel closer to you. Kevin you make my life complete. I don't know what I would do with out you, but I pray that I never have to find out. I have always been and will always be yours and yours alone" I stopped and looked at him. He reached out and placed his finger over my lips.

"Let me make love to you baby, let me show you what you do to me." He gently pulled me down to lie beside him. "I love you Cass." He began to kiss me and his hand slipped the strap of my gown down.



Mama Anne was more than happy to keep Lexi while Kevin and I flew off for our New Years Eve mini vacation. Kevin wouldn't tell me where we were going. It was such a beautiful flight and Kevin had so much fun pointing out things to me. When it was finally time to land he had to let the cat out of the bag. We were staying in a private cabin in the Pocono's. We had so much fun just spending time together. We called Lexi every night to tell her goodnight and she would tell us all about her adventures for the day. Kevin and I had spent all of New Year's eve on the slopes skiing and I would watch Kevin snowboard. He was so athletic; I loved to watch the way his body moved with the flow of the board on the snow. We knew exactly how we were going to spend the evening and every fiber in my body tingled with anticipation we ate dinner and headed back to the cabin around 8pm.

"Having fun darlin." He said as we walked hand and hand thru the snow toward the cabin.

"Yep, this has been the best, no worries or fans. Not that I mind the fans, it's just I like having my husband to myself without screaming teenagers telling them how much they looovveeee him." I began to laugh.

"Well, what can you say, you are married to the sexiest pop star."

"Oh please." I giggled.

"Oh so that's how it is huh." He said. He dropped my hand and took off running ahead of me.

"Hey, where are you going?" Just as I finished my sentence he scooped up a handful of snow and threw it at me.

"OH you are so dead mister." I picked up a handful of snow and began to run after him. I reared back and threw as hard as I could. It hit him square in the chest. "How you like that Mr. Sexy?" I began to scream as he began to run towards me. I tried to turn and run but he was faster than I was and tackled me in the snow. He was lying on top of me.

"I love it Cass, almost as much as I love you." He began to kiss down my neck.

"I love you too." I said as he continued to kiss me. "Oh don't stop." I moaned.

"You like that huh?" He said stopping what he was doing to look in my eyes.

"Oh yeah."

"What else do you like Cass?" His eyes began to darken with desire.

"I love everything you do to me boo, the way you touch me, how you're so gentle with me. I love the way you make love to me."
"Wanna go inside."
"I'd love to." He stood up and pulled me up beside him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and bent down to kiss me. My legs became weak as his kiss became more and more passionate. I moaned against his lips. He bent down and scooped me up into his arms.

"Wanna go make a baby?" He turned to go towards the house.

"Oh yeah..."I said as I began to kiss his neck. We rang in 2005 making love to the sounds of the fire works bursting in the air outside the cabin, the sparkle of lights illuminating the movement of our bodies together, two hearts becoming one.



"MOMMY, DADDY, MOMMY, DADDY" Lexi was barreling out the front door yelling as we drove in the driveway. She was in Kevin's arms as soon as the door to the car opened.

"Hey princess, miss me much?"
"Bunches and bunches daddy." She said wrapping her little arms around his neck.

"What about me?" I said inching up beside her.

"I missed you too mommy. Did you bring me a present?"

"Why of course we did, it's in the back seat." She slid out of Kevin's arms and ran to the back door of the car.

"I'm kinda hoping we brought back more than just a present." He placed his hand on my stomach.

"Me too boo, Me too."

"A PUPPY!" Lexi squealed. "You got me a puppy..."She lifted the little puppy out of the basket.

"Yep, couldn't leave it all alone. She was the last one left." Kevin bent down next to her and rubbed the puppy's head.

"OH thank you mommy and daddy. I love her. Can I name her?"
"Yep, got any ideas." He asked.

"How bout, Sophie? Do you like that daddy?"

"Yep, I'd say Sophie fits her well. Now lets get all this stuff in the house."

Sophie and Lexi became inseparable she slept in the bed with Lexi and even attempted on multiple occasions to get in the bath with her. We were so glad that we had gotten her.

We flew back to Orlando the last week of January. We had so much fun catching up with everyone. AJ and Cierra had decided that the big wedding thing was not their idea of fun, so they had snuck away on New Year's Eve and got married in Las Vegas. He seemed so happy. Lisa and Nick brought the twins over to play with Lexi and Lisa would stay while the boys went to rehearsals. Life was so great. I had decided to fly out to New York to catch up with the tour in February to spend Valentine's day with Kevin. My dad was going to take Lexi to Disney for the weekend. Cierra and I were going to leave on Friday.



"Hey girl, how are you?" I hugged Cierra's neck as we met in the airport.

"Good, how bout you. You're looking good."

"Thanks. I'm so excited. I hate to be away from Kevin. I feel so lost without him."

"Girl I know what you mean. I know that AJ and I have only been married a little over a month. But I love him so much. I can't wait to be in his arms again."

"Ahhh....newlyweds." I mocked.

"Hey, I know two people who've been married for awhile now that still act like they're newlyweds."
"Well, what can I say; I love him more and more each day. So any big plans for you two for Valentines day?"

"Not sure, AJ seems to be hinting that he's got something planned but I'm not sure what. Just thought I'd play it by ear once I get there. How bout you two?"

"Kevin promised me a dinner for just the two of us. I can't wait. I just want to see him."

"Yeah I know what you mean." We chatted the whole flight. When we got to the airport Jimmy was waiting for us. We got to the hotel and went to our rooms. The boys were at the venue for sound check. Kevin had left me a note on the pillow.

"Hey Darlin, I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait to have you in my arms tonight. I've missed you so much. I hope you don't have any big plans for this weekend; I want you all to myself. I think there's a little project we need to be working on. I hope you're up for it. I love you so much and I can't wait to see you at the show later. Remember when we sing Safest Place, I'm singing it just to you. I love you Cass. Kevin."

I sat on the bed and pulled his pillow into my arms. I could still smell him on it. I sat there thinking about how lucky I was, remembering what he said about our little project. Oh, wait a minute. I got up and went and got my purse. I pulled out my pocket calendar. I began to look back. Wow, I can't believe it. I was late and I hadn't even realized it. Could it be? The Pocono's? I wanted Kevin to be with me this time when I took the test. I sat down at the desk and began to write. Jimmy came and met me at 6:30 and walked me to the venue. Cierra and Leigh were already there; Susie and Lisa were flying in later that night.

"Hey girls." I said as I took my seat at the side of the stage. I loved how the boys had the stage set for this tour. It allowed Kevin to be at the piano, which just happened to be right next to where I was sitting.

The boys were performing and I couldn't help but smile with pride. They had worked so hard on this album and everyone loved it. The fans were great. During the intermission Kevin walked over to the side of the stage.

"Hey darling." He bent down to kiss me. I slipped a note in his hand. He looked confused.

"Just read it right before you sing Safest Place ok?"
"Ok. I love you. I can't wait till were alone." He quickly kissed me and went back to the piano.

"I can't either boo." I whispered. They sang three more songs and I watched as Kevin opened the note.

I watched as he about fell off the piano bench.



Hey boo,

About that project, may already be complete. We can find out together if your up for it.

The other 4 looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"Hey Train, what'cha drinking over there." AJ piped up first.

"Yeah Kev, you alright."

"Uh yeah. Hey guys, give me a second." He stood up and walked over to me.

"What'cha' doing train?" Nick asked. Kevin pulled me up onto the stage and kissed me hard and long.

The audience started roaring.

"WHOA THERE TRAIN, this is a PG rated show." Brian started.

"GETTA ROOM" AJ joined in.

"Hey man. We gotta show to do." Nick reminded.

"Well, I gotta wife to kiss." Kevin said and returned to the piano and I went back to my seat, and there it was. "It seems like yesterday when I said, "I do". By the end of the song Kevin and I had tears in our eyes. We both new that in a few hours one of our dreams might be coming true.

Kevin grabbed me as soon as he was off stage and yelled at the others.

"See you guys later. JIMMMY?" He was shouting.

We headed straight to the room. Once in side Kevin took me in his arms and began to kiss me. I broke away to catch my breath.

"I missed you too boo."

"Woman, what'cha mean telling me something like that when I'm working."

"Well, I thought you might've wanted to know?"

"I do, when can we do a test?"
"Well, actually I went and bought one before Jimmy came and got me to go to the show." I took it right before I left."
"AND?"
"And, I didn't go back and look. I wanted you here for the results. I want to see your face?"
Kevin took off to the bathroom. I started to walk towards the door. He came out with the test in his hand. I saw the tears in his eyes. He slowly walked over to me and dropped to his knees. He wouldn't look me in the face. I began to feel tears burning in my eyes. Maybe I should've checked before I went, and then I would have known. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me too him. He placed his head on my stomach.

I could feel him sobbing.

"Kevin, baby it's ok. All that means is we get to practice a little more." I ran my hands through his hair.

"No Cass."
"No what do you mean no, Kevin. It's ok honey. It takes some time to get pregnant."
"No baby that's not what I mean." He placed his forehead to my stomach and I could barley make out the whisper, but heard it.

"Hi baby, it's daddy." I collapsed to my knees in front of him and we held each other and cried.
Chapter 14 by 2liveis2luv
February 14, 2005.

I slowly awoke to the smell of flowers. My eyes weren't even open, but the smell was amazing. I stretched and began to smile at the thought of the night Kevin and I had had last night. Kevin took off to the bathroom. I started to walk towards the door. He came out with the test in his hand. I saw the tears in his eyes. He slowly walked over to me and dropped to his knees. He wouldn't look me in the face. I began to feel tears burning in my eyes. Maybe I should've checked before I went, and then I would have known. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me too him. He placed his head on my stomach.
I could feel him sobbing.
"Kevin, baby it's ok. All that means is we get to practice a little more." I ran my hands through his hair.
"No Cass."
"No, what do you mean no, Kevin. It's ok honey. It takes some time to get pregnant."
"No baby that's not what I mean." He placed his forehead to my stomach and I could barely make out the whisper, but heard it.
"Hi baby, it's daddy." I collapsed to my knees in front of him and we held each other and cried. We began to kiss and Kevin stood up pulling me with him, he gathered me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. We made love all night.
"Morning Darlin," I opened my eyes and he was sitting on the bed with a single white rose in his hand." Be My Valentine?" he asked turning his head to the side. "Yours and Yours alone" I sat up and kissed him on the lips. The sun was just beginning to shine thru the curtains. I could see vases and vases of white roses.
"Kevin Scott Richardson, what have you done?" I looked around the room. 12 dozen white roses were scattered all over the room.
"Well, it is valentines day my dear wife and I intend to spoil the love of my life today. I mean, she has given me the best valentines' present I could ask for."
"Well the same could be said for you dear. I mean you helped make this little miracle remember."
"Oh Yeah, I remember, and I could show you again if you'd like."
"I would like that very much" with that he gently laid me back down and began to make love to me. He had breakfast delivered to the room and then drew me a bath. I got dressed and met him in the sitting room.
"So what's your plans for today boo?"
"Well, first we do this." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hallway. He began to run up and down the hall banging on the doors of all the other's. One by one they came out there rooms starring at Kevin like he had lost his mind.
"Yo Train, wassup man" AJ was the first to speak.
"Yeah Kev, what's all this craziness about?" Howie said still rubbing his eyes to wake up.
"Well," He came to stand behind me with his hands on my hips. "First off I wanted you all to know that this woman standing right here in front of me is the love of my life and this is the best Valentines Day ever."

"Lord Cass, what did you do to him last night?" Nick asked. I began to blush.
"It's not what she did last night, well, it is, but it's not and well. Let's just say that this little lady right here has given me the best night of my life."
"OK KEVIN, now we know something's up. We do not need to hear about your sexcapades with your lady there. Spill it." AJ had walked over to stand beside us.
"You wanna tell'em or you want me too." I began to giggle.
"I think you better explain this craziness boo." Leighanne, Susie, Lisa, Cierra, Brian and Nick had all come out of their rooms and was now watching this crazy man known as Kevin.
"Well, last night before the show Lisa got my Valentines present ready and when we got back I got to open it."
"AND" they all said in unison.
"I'M GONNA BE A DADDY AGAIN." He placed his hands on my stomach and began to rock.
"OH MAN, that's great." AJ began hugging us. Everyone gave congratulations and hugs were exchanged. We all talked for a few more minutes then the couples realizing the day began to disappear back into their rooms. Kevin gently pulled me back into ours and began kissing me.
"So darlin, what'cha wanna do today. I have this evening planned out but the daytime is all yours.
"Well, I need to do some shopping, and I promised Lexi a surprise so I need to find her something."
"We already got her something" He grinned as he began to rub my stomach again.
"Kevin, we are not going to tell her about the baby yet. Not until I get past the first trimester. I don't want her to get her hopes up and then something happen."
"Nothing is going to happen to this baby, he's sent to us special. I just know it."
"Yeah, and you know it's a boy to."
"Of course it's a boy." he just grinned. We spent the day shopping. Kevin had made a point to disappear and I was glad I wanted to make sure that I got him something special for the day. We headed back to the hotel I changed into a black pair of slacks and black strappy heels with a white silk blouse. I looked in the mirror and turned sideway. I ran my hand down to my stomach flattening my shirt as my hand stopped on my belly.
"Well, so much for all that hard work. I just refuse to get big again. I so excited you decided to join us little one. But I don't want to be big and fat again" I said.
"Me too." Kevin stepped in the door and wrapped me in his arms." and no more talk about getting big and fat. I don't care how big you get, you'll always be beautiful to me and the thought that your carrying my baby again makes it ten times more so. I love you so much Cass." He bent down and kissed me. He smelled so good. He was dressed in his black slacks that clung to his waist outlining his body perfectly. He was wearing a grey silk shirt and a black jacket. God was he sexy. I wasn't sure I wanted to go to dinner anymore; I was enjoying the idea of undressing him better. I began to run my hands up his chest.
"Umm boo."
"Yeah darlin"
"Whatcha' say we get rid of this jacket?" I began to slide it off his shoulder.

"OH NO YOU DON'T" he stepped back. "I have this evening planned to a T and your not about to change a thing, even though it's not a bad idea, but it's and idea to hold on to till after we get back, Ok?" he kissed me and grabbed my hand pulling me towards the front door. "By the way, I got you a little something." He pulled a box out of his pocket. I began to unwrap it. I lifted the lid.
"Oh Kevin, it's beautiful." It was an emerald and diamond baguette bracelet that matched my wedding rings. "Thank you." I kissed him and we were out the door.
"Kevin had arranged for us to have dinner in a quiet little Italian restaurant. He had rented out the entire back room and it was set just for us. A table by the fireplace candles all over the room and music was softly playing in the background. We ate and laughed and then our song began to play. Kevin pulled me to the center of the room and we began to dance. I began to think back to the night of our wedding. It was so wonderful.
"God boo, I don't think our life's could be any better, do you?"
'Nope, got all I need in the world" he placed his forehead to mine."Cass do you know how much you mean to me, I mean do you really know how much I love you?"
"Uh huh, do you know how much I love you?"
"Uh huh. Cass I'm so excited about this new baby. I can't wait."
"Well, based on my calculations daddy, you'll have to wait till October."
"THAT LONG!!" his head shot up.'
"Yes, that long, it does take 9 months Kevin. Besides, this baby could be born on your birthday." I began to run my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. His body felt so good. My mind began to wander to what the evening still had in store. I barely heard his next sentence.
"Oh that would be cool."
"Kevin, can we go back to the room now."
"Yeah, you ok." a look of concern crossed his face.
"I'm fine, I just want to give you your present, and I ready to get you out of this." I began to run my hands back up his chest.
"Let's go" we were out the door. I looked for the limo, but it wasn't there.
"Kevin, where's the Limo."
"Your chariot awaits you darlin," He pointed to a horse drawn carriage. We climbed inside and covered our laps with the blanket. As we rode along it was beautiful. The lights of the city and the sounds, having Kevin's arm around me holding me close. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating. He rested his head on top of mine. We got back to the hotel and headed to our room. We were giggling as we walked in.
"OMG" I just gasped. The room was lit with candles and music was softly playing. The bed had been turned down."Kevin?"
"The boys helped a little."
"Oh, ok, well, I'll be right back" I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and headed towards the bathroom and closed the door. I changed and grabbed Kevin's present and headed back into the sitting room.

He was dressed in black silk pajama bottoms and no top sitting on the couch sipping a glass of brandy. After 4 years of marriage he could still take my breath away. I walked over to him and fell into his lap.


"Here ya go boo." I said handing him the box. He unwrapped it.
"Wow Cass this is great." It was a silver thumb ring with all of our names engraved on it. Kevin's, mine, Scottie's, Lexi's and a blank spot for the new baby.
"See now you can say we're wrapped around your finger um thumb and mean it." He began to laugh.
"Now let me see this outfit you have on. He stood up and placed me on the floor" I was wearing a long satin nightgown that was red and fitted to the body perfectly. He began to run his hands down my body. The friction from the warmth of his hands and the satin setting me on fire.
"Now let's see" He began." I remember somebody starting something before we left.
"Yep, I remember what I said" I began to run my hands up and down his chest. "I specifically remember saying how you'd look better out of these," I said as I pulled at the drawstring to his bottoms letting them fall to the floor. "MMMMM" I said as I turned and headed towards the bed.
"NOT SO FAST" He spun me around and pulled me next to him. He began to kiss me and picked me up and carried me to the bed. Oh that night was wonderful.


Everyone was so excited about the new baby coming. Mama Anne couldn't wait. The months passed by and the boys continued to perform. The tour was to end in November and they were going to take the next 5 months off. The pregnancy was going great and with the way the schedule was set there was no way Kevin would miss the birth. The baby was due on October 16th and the boys had a two-week hiatus during that week and the week after. As much as Lexi and I wanted to be with them on the tour it just wasn't possible. Lexi was growing up so fast. It was so amazing to watch her grow. Her long curly black hair that bounced when she ran and her emerald green eyes. She was so beautiful and such a daddy's girl. She couldn't wait till he would call her on the phone.
"Hi daddy, guess what?"
"What princess?"
"Tomorrow's your birthday, Happy Birthday Daddy, and guess what else? I got to feel the baby kick mommy today."
"Yes I know. You did? Wow! Are you being a big girl for Daddy?"
"Yes sir, did you get my birthday surprise I sent to you?"
"Of course, and I love it. In fact I'm wearing it right now."
"When you coming home daddy? I miss you."
"I miss you too princess; Daddy will be home on the 12th of October. Then Daddy doesn't have to go back out to sing again until the end of October."
"Oh, well, you wanna talk to mama? I wanna go outside and play."
"Ok princess, have fun. I love you."
"I love you too daddy." and she handed the phone to me.

Hey boo."
"Hey darlin, how ya feeling."
"Big as a house, but I'm ok. How are you, how's the tour?"
"It's good, It's good and your not as big as a house, your beautiful."
"Yeah, and you haven't seen me in what, 3 weeks." I huffed.
"Oh baby, I'm sure it's not that bad, I can't wait to see you. I can't believe we only have 2 weeks until the baby gets here."
'Yeah, I just wish it could be sooner; by the way your mom wants to have birthday dinner for you on the 13th since you won't be here for your birthday. Is that ok with you?"
"Yeah, that's cool. I'll fly in around 1pm on the 12th and that will give me the day to spend with you and Lexi. Hey, I hate to cut you off, but we gotta head out to get ready for the show. You sure you ok darlin."
"Yeah, just tired and my back hurts. Your mom's on her way over to watch Lexi while I soak in the tub. I'll just be glad when you get home, my bed's been awfully lonely."
'Yeah, I know, I need you in my arms babe. I love you. Look Jimmy will have my cell from now on when ever I'm performing so if you need me you just call and he'll get me ok. I love you Cass, I'll call you after the show ok."
"Ok boo, have a great show. I love you too." I hung up and sat down on the bed resting my hand on my stomach. I heard Mama Anne come in the house.
'Hi" I said walking towards the kitchen.
"Hey Cass, you ok?"
"Yeah, my back just hurts and I'm tired. Thanks for coming over to watch Lexi I think a soak in the tub will do me some good. By the way I just got off the phone with Kev and he sounds great. He's really getting excited about coming home and says that the birthday dinner on the 13th will be great."
"Good. Well, where's that granddaughter of mine?"
"She's out back with Sophie." I turned and headed towards the bedroom.
"Well, I'm gonna go find her, you relax dear and I'll be right here if ya need me ok."
"Ok, I said" I walked into the bathroom and undressed. The hot water felt so good. I lay there thinking about the day the baby would be born. I couldn't wait for Kevin and I to be parents again. I began to dream about Kevin coming home. I was so relaxed and enjoying the bath. I could almost feel Kevin's arms holding me tight. I could feel his kisses on my skin. Oh what that man does to me. I decided that it was time to get out and go find Lexi and Mama Anne. I glanced at the clock 7 pm the show had started. "Do good boo." I said to no one in particular. I put on a pair of sweatpants and Kevin's UK shirt that I liked to sleep in and headed towards the den. I opened the bedroom door and could hear Mama Anne and Lexi in the kitchen, as I made my way into the den I began to get a tighting in my back. I stopped and stood behind the couch. "Oh crap," I thought to myself. "Not now baby, daddy's not here" I walked on into the kitchen and watched as the two laughed and cut up while cooking dinner. I couldn't help but smile, but then the tighting was back.
"Lexi, baby could you go get mama her cell phone from the bedroom." I watched as she took off.
"Cass, you ok" Mama Anne came over to stand beside me.
"I'm not sure, but Kevin might get a big birthday present."
"Oh Cass, the baby?"
"Yeah. I've had a couple of contractions; if I have another one I'm calling Kevin. I want him home."

"Honey, you know Kevin's on stage. I'll be here and it could just be your tired."
"Mama Anne, I know your here and I appreciate that, but I'm not having this baby without Kevin beside me. He promised he would be there and I can't do this alone." I began to cry as another contraction hit me.
"Oh Cass, it's ok honey; I know that Kevin will want to be here. I'm just saying that it might not be possible." the contraction began to subside and Lexi came back in with my phone. I called my doctor and he told me to come to the hospital and get checked. Mama Anne took Lexi to Jerald's and came back to get me. I had my suitcase and we left around 7:45 pm. We got to the hospital and checked in. I was laying in the bed when the doctor came in.
"Hi Cass, so I hear we have an anxious baby here?"
"I'm not sure, but thought I'd better check things out." I could hear the baby's heart beating and it was a soothing sound. The doctor checked me.
"Well, looks like we might be getting us a baby by tomorrow morning. Your 3 cms and contracting nicely. Where's Kevin?" The doctor knew that Kevin was usually with me.
"He's in Louisiana performing."
"Oh, my. Will he be able to leave?"
"I sure hope so. Doc, I'm not having this baby with out him here." I began to cry. Mama Anne sat on the bed next to me and wrapped her arms around me.
"Mama Anne, I can't do this without him. Please get me my phone." She reached in my bag and got my phone. I dialed his cell number, Jimmy answered.
"Kev's phone, how ya doing lil' mama."
"Jimmy, I need Kevin, can you please get him?"
"Oh, I can't do that Cass, they're in the middle of a set."
"Jimmy, I know that they are on stage, but I have to have to talk to Kevin. Please." The tears began to fall.
"Cass, the show will be over in an hour. I'll have him call you ok."
"DAMN IT Jimmy, Put Kevin on the phone NOW." I started crying.
"Ok, dang Cass. Give me a sec." Jimmy walked to the edge of the stage and tried to wave at Kevin. He was playing the piano and his eyes were closed. Jimmy kept waving his hands.
"Dang Jimmy, what's your problem man." AJ saw the commotion and spoke into his mic. Kevin's eyes flew open as the music stopped.
"Sorry guys" Jimmy walked out onto the stage with the phone in his hand. "Kevin, I gotta a mad woman on the phone that insist on talking to you. Think you better take this man." Every word being heard by the audience through Kevin's head set.

Kevin pushed over the piano stool and grabbed the phone.
"Cass, baby." His mic was echoing thru the arena. "What's the matter? You ok, Lexi ok?"
"Kevin, I'm in the hospital, this baby's coming by morning. I need you boo, please you gotta get here."
"OH SHIT!" Echoed thru the room. "Baby, I'll be there as quick as I can, hold on darlin. I love ya." and he hung up the phone, forgetting where he was or what he was doing.
"I'm gonna be a daddy" The crowd erupted in cheers." Jimmy get me a flight home now. Sorry guys, I can't let her do this alone." He turned to the audience.
"Hey ya'll so sorry, but I gotta slip out of here. Can't miss this. Hope you understand."

A big round of applause and congratulations began to fill the room. Kevin was out the door and on the next flight home. He arrived in Lexington at 1:52am and headed towards the hospital. He ran down the hall and into Cass's room.
"OH BOO" was all I could say when I saw him come thru the door. "Thank God your here. The baby's coming, but I told them I wouldn't push until you got here. I couldn't do this without you." I began to cry. He came over to the bed and took me in his arms.
"Its ok darlin, I'm here now." another contraction hit and I had to push. Fifteen minutes later the room was filled with the sound of a crying baby.

So beautiful, head full of black hair. Kevin ran out to find his mom and Lexi.
"Hey Princess, " he picked her up and the tears began to run down his face as he held her in his arms. His mother wrapped her arms around him as well.
"It's a boy mama, It's a boy." They stood their crying together.
I lay there looking at the little miracle in my arms.
"Welcome to the world William Nicholas Richardson."
" Hey babe, you awake" Kevin opened the door.
"Yeah, just sitting here staring at your son." I grinned.

"By the way, Happy Birthday Boo."
Chapter 15 by 2liveis2luv
Will was the sweetest baby. His eyes were hazel like mine, but he had Kevin's chiseled chin and his dark black hair. He loved to hear Kevin's voice and would look for him whenever Kevin would come into the room. Lexi thought the world of Will and would always try and be the little mama. We had to be careful not to leave her alone with him or she would be trying to feed him or change his diaper. The 5 months after Will's birth were fantastic. Kevin spent most of his time with the kids and I occasionally meeting with the other boys just to rehearse for the restart of the tour. The kids and I were going to fly to Orlando in February to meet up with Kevin on tour and spend a weekend there. We would then join him on tour for the next 3 months and in May fly back to Orlando when the tour ended.

"God I missed Orlando." Lisa and I were watching the twins and Lexi play in the pool; Will was asleep in his nursery.

"I missed you." She said. "It's not been the same with out you here, I miss having my friend around when I need her."
"Oh Lis, I'm sorry. It's been so crazy and all. But Kevin and I have decided that we are going to stay here for awhile after the tour ends, so we can spend a lot of time together."

"Good, I'm really going to need you around."

"Why what's up."
"Well, Nick and I just found out that we are pregnant."

"OH LISA. I so happy for you two."

"Yeah, we had decided after Will was born that we wanted to try for one more. Cass I just found out like last week and I'm so scared I going to end up with twins again. I don't think I could handle that."
"Lord girl, don't even think like that." I just laughed. " So Nick knows?"
"Yeah, he was here when I took the test. He's so happy. He walked around like the King Rooster with his chest puffed out. He called Aaron and was bragging. "Hey bro, yep guess what your studley brother's done gone and done. Yep, done knocked up the little woman again." Lisa gave her impression of Nick talking to Aaron. We both began laughing. "He's supposed to tell all the boys this week. I told him I wanted to tell you first."

"Lisa, that so great. Now if we could just get AJ and Howie to join the group." I giggled.

"Yeah, I know that Cierra wants a baby real bad. She and I have become great friends. God and she is so crazy about AJ. I thought I was nuts over Nick, but it's always AJ this and AJ that and my hubby this and my hubby that. Sometimes it makes me sick, but it's so sweet. I think she's really been good for bone."

"Yeah, Kevin says the same thing, says he's seen a great big difference in him since them two got married." I got up to get us a coke from the cooler.

"So has Cierra said anything about them trying?" I asked handing Lisa a coke.

"She just said that AJ said he was nervous about it, not sure he was ready to be a dad yet. They are supposed to be having like this huge romantic weekend this coming weekend and it's supposed to involve the discussion of starting a family. I sure hope AJ can see his way through this. Cierra really wants a baby."

"I know the feeling. It still gives me chills when I look at Lexi and Will and know that Kevin and I created them together from the love we have for each other."

"Yeah, I feel the same when I look at Jamie and Tommy, and now I think of this one." She said placing her hand on her stomach.

"Oh Lisa, I'll get to be here for this baby, I can't wait I'll help you anyway I can. So have you talked to Susie lately, she seems like she don't like me too well, don't know what I've done to her though?"
"You just gotta spend some time with her. You two haven't had a lot of time together and she feels like maybe you don't like her. I've tried to tell her that you do like her but I guess it's just hard since you two barely get to see each other. Maybe you can have her over now that you're back in town for lunch or something."

"Yeah, that seems like a great idea. I think I will. I have really enjoyed being around her the few time we've been around each other. It's just that I'm always in Kentucky and she's here in Orlando. I know that she does a lot with the foundation and all. Hey, has she said anything about her and Howie having a little one?"
"Yeah, Susie says that her and Howie still want to wait awhile; they want to do some traveling together when the tour is over, but I don't give them long after that. TOMMY, don't push your brother."
"Well, I guess things are just as they should be. I mean all of us are married now and the boys are doing great. The kids are all well. Wow Lisa, did you ever think we'd end up here."

"Not in a million years Cass. I mean, I always loved Nick from afar, but I never thought I would end up married to him, dreamed it a couple of time, but in reality. I still pinch myself."

"Tell me about it. God every time Kevin walks through the front door my knees still go weak. How'd I get so lucky?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, you loved me Cass, you just loved me." That voice hit my ears before the hands were pulling me into an embrace.

"Hi boo," I said before I felt his lips pressed on mine.

"Hi darlin. Hi Lisa."

"Hey Kev, how's it going."

"Good, by the way Congratulations, Nick told us the great news. I'm real happy for you too."

"DAAADDDDYYYY" Lexi came flying across the deck and grabbed Kevin's leg.

"Hey princess, what'cha doing?"

"Swimming daddy, you come swimming with me?" Her little head tilted up and her eyes met with Kevin's.

"Ok, but only for a little bit, then I'm taking mama to dinner ok?"
"Ok daddy" She turned and headed back towards the pool. "Hey Tommy, Hey Jamie, my daddy's coming swimming with us." I watched as Kevin kicked off his shoes and took off his shirt and headed towards the pool. I just looked at Lisa.

"Can you say SPOILED?" I began to laugh

"CAN YOU SAY JUST LIKE HER MOTHER." I heard him call before he dove in.

"And what may I ask Mr. Richardson does that remark mean?" Lisa was giggling.

"I'm wrapped around her finger the same way I'm wrapped around yours, don't I always give you your way?" He winked.

"Yes, and don't I always give you yours?" I winked right back at him.

"That's what I'm counting on darlin."

"And what is that supposed to mean? And what's this about dinner?"

"You'll see tonight, by the way, there's something for you on our bed." And he dove under the water swimming after Lexi and the boys.

"Come on Lisa, let's see what that man of mine is up too." We got up and walked into the bedroom.

I saw a box sitting on the bed. I gently lifted the lid. Inside was a beautiful black cocktail dress with matching shoes.

"WOW" Lisa said. "Somebody's got a hot date tonight?" she whistled.

"Yeah, well what can I say he has good taste in clothes? I just wander what he's up to?"
"Well, I'd just go with it girl if I was you, looks like your in for a VERY nice evening."
"Oh Lisa it's been ages since we've been out without the kids. Don't get me wrong I love them both dearly, but I miss my alone time with Kev. I miss being able to lie in bed and just be together with out a baby monitor telling me it's time to get up. I miss making love more than once cause we have to be careful that Lexi might come in the door. Oh how I just miss being in his arms." We didn't hear Kevin come in the room.

"I've missed you to babe and tonight I'm going to show you how much." He walked over and kissed me and headed towards the bathroom door. He turned and looked at me just before shutting the door. "Be ready by six ok." And the door closed. I collapsed on the bed hugging the dress to my chest. Lisa was sitting on the chaise lounge.

"WOW, maybe I should have had the hots for Kevin." She giggled. I sat up.

"OH NO, that man is ALL MINE." We began to laugh and got up to go find the kids. We found them outside in the pool with Nick. He was taking turns letting the kids jump off his shoulders in the pool.

"Hey baby girl." He hopped out the pool and came over and took Lisa in his arms.

"Hey Nicky." They began to kiss.

"EEEWWWWWWW GRRROOOSSS" the twins yelled in unison. We all three started laughing.

"So congratulations Nick." I said giving him a hug. "I hear you knocked up the little woman again." Lisa and I burst out laughing.

"Yep, who's the stud?" He said pounding on his chest.

"So what'cha doing here honey." Lisa said pulling him down to sit with her on the lounge chair.

"Well, Kevin said he needed a sitter for tonight, and you and I have hardly had anytime with Lexi and Will so I told him we'd be glad to stay with them so he and Cass could get out. Hope you don't mind baby girl." He looked at Lisa.

"No that's cool with me. The twins are having so much fun with Lexi, besides I want to see Cass in that dress Kevin bought her. Have you seen it Nick?"
"Yeah, I was there when he bought it. Your gonna look hot Cass. I know that Kevin is really excited about tonight."
"Great, does everyone know about this but me?"

"Yep, and that's the way it's going to stay." I smelled his cologne before he sat behind me. My mind became numb. He smelled so good and I could tell he had showered and shaved. "You better get moving if you're going to be ready by six darlin." He whispered in my ear.

"Ok, guess I'll go get dressed." I stood up. "Wanna come help me get ready?" I said.

"Would love to, but that might make us late." He said wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Yes, it would, but I wasn't talking to you I was talking to Lisa." She stood up and we walked into the house I could hear Kevin make a grunting sound behind me as he grabbed his heart and fell back into the lounge chair. "Oh shot down. I must be losing my touch."

"Naw man, after tonight, she won't know what hit her." I heard Nick say as we closed the double doors to the bedroom.

Lisa and I chatted while I got my shower, she was lying across our bed and I was in the bathroom. I was so excited; I couldn't wait to see what Kevin had planned. I took my time and shaved and washed my hair. I got out and rubbed down with my DKNY "Be Delicious" body lotion. Kevin loved the way it smelled and sprayed on the perfume to match. My hair had gotten long and I pulled up the sides letting the natural curls fall down my back with a few tendrils of hair sweeping around the side of my face. I wore the bracelet that Kevin had given me the night we found out that we were pregnant with Will, along with a matching Necklace and earrings he had given me this past Valentine's day. I slipped into the dress. It hugged every curve perfectly. It dipped in the front to show the cleavage that was still very nice from breast-feeding Will and hugged my hips to show the curves of my body.

"Hey Lis, can you help me zip this up." I walked into the bedroom.

"HOLY SHIT!! Cass you look gorgeous. Kev's going to die when he sees you. Your so disgusting you get right back to your old self after you have your babies. I hope I can be that lucky this time. Carrying the twins really was not good on my body." She zipped up my dress and I slipped on the shoes. I walked over to the floor length mirror and made sure everything was perfect.

"That man sure knows how to pick out clothes." I said smoothing out the dress and turning from side to side. " Shall we go find our men?" Lisa and I headed out the bedroom. We could hear the boys in the kitchen talking. The kids had fallen asleep after all the swimming. I could see Kevin, but he hadn't seen me yet. He was so gorgeous. He was wearing a maroon silk button up shirt with his black slacks. His eyes were sparkling as he and Nick talked.

"Mmmhmmm" I cleared my throat. Lisa was standing behind me as both men turned in the kitchen.

"DAMN KEVIN." Nick chocked on his drink. "Your wife is HOTTTT."

"HEY" Lisa yelled from behind me.

"Sorry baby girl, not as hot as you." he tried to recover.

"WOW, darlin you look amazing." Kevin almost whispered as he started to walk towards me.

"Thank you." I whispered tilting my eyes to look down.

"NO, look at me." He said placing his hand under my chin to tilt it up so that my eyes could look into his. "Tonight is all about you and me baby. I'm gonna show you why I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He bent down and gave me a quick kiss.

"OK you two, go on get going." Lisa and Nick were standing arm in arm in the kitchen. "Don't stay up too late." Nick hollered behind us as Kevin and I walked out the front door.

"Don't you mean don't stay out too late?" Lisa turned to look at Nick.

"Oh, didn't I tell you. We're staying the night here. They won't be back till tomorrow afternoon." He picked Lisa up and headed to the sofa. "The kids are sleeping and I want my wife." He said hungrily taking her lips in his.

"My pleasure my husband" she said pulling his t-shirt over his head. "Wanna go skinny dipping?" Lisa looked into Nick's deep blue eyes.

"Most definitely lovely lady." He said scooping her up and heading to the pool out back.

"I love you Lisa Carter." He said as he pulled her onto his lap in the pool.

"I love you too Nicky." She said kissing him on his neck.

Kevin opened my door to the Tahoe and helped me in. He kissed me on the lips then closed the door and went around to get into the driver's seat. I loved watching every move he made. He slid in beside me and cranked up the car. As we backed out into the street and he put the car in drive he picked my hand up and brought it to his lips gently kissing it.

"Are you ready Mrs. Richardson?"

"More than you know boo. Where are we going?"

"That baby is a surprise. You trust me?"

"With my life?"
"Good, just know that I love you so much and tonight I'm gonna make sure you will never forget it."
He started off down the street.

"I could never forget it boo. I love you too." As we drove along I started watching for signs of something familiar. I didn't realize where we were going until we turned into the Ritz-Carlton Orlando, Grande Lakes. I wasn't sure what he was up to, I knew that we had had dinner there before with the boys. After one of the tours as a celebration party they had rented out the entire Vineyard Grill and all of the crew came to celebrate. Kevin had so much fun that night. As we pulled up to the valet Kevin got out and came around to open my door. I took his hand and slid out. I caught the two valet guys starring.

"Uhh boo, I think you've been recognized." I whispered.

"Uhh darlin, I think they're starring at you." He grinned. I blushed.

"Here ya go. The bags are in the back. You can take them to the Club Lake Front Executive Suite.

My head turned around quickly to catch Kevin smiling down at me.

"What do you mean bags?" I said

"Uh, didn't I mention that we were staying out all night?" He giggled.

"No you did not, and what about our children?" I put my hand on my hip.

"Nick and Lisa are staying at the house with them, don't worry darlin, tonight is all about just you and me and our love for each other." He whispered in my ear. He put his arm around my waist and headed towards the Vineyard Grill doors. I was too shocked to speak, what did he have planned next? When we walked into the room there was no one in site. There were candles lit and white roses on the table that was sitting outside with overlooking the lake. It was so beautiful. Tears began to fill my eyes.

"Oh Kevin." I chocked.

"No baby, no tears. This is going to be nothing but fun and love tonight ok."
"But these are happy tears, and I think I just fell more in love with you than ever." I hugged him tight to me.

"Ok, I'll let those kind of tears be allowed." He pulled me closer to him. The waiter came around the corner.

"Ummm excuse me Mr. & Mrs. Richardson, you table awaits." He held out his hand to show us to the table.

"Cass, I hope you don't mind, but I've already ordered the food and all, I just want you to relax and enjoy the evening."
"That's fine boo, I told you I trusted you." he reached across the table and took my left hand in his. He gently began to thumb my wedding rings.

"Ya know Cass, the day I decided that I wanted to marry you, everything in my life seemed perfect. Then the day we got married, well. I could've died right then and never regretted a moment of my life. The day Scottie was born. As hard as it was to lose him, I knew that we had something special. And Lexi, lord knows that girl has wrapped herself so tight around my heart sometimes when I look at her I think I stop breathing, Will well Will is just the most amazing thing, I can't believe how much I love them both. Cass, I see them and I see us. I know that no matter what the story of us will always be around to be told because of them two. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. When I'm out on the road without you, I don't feel whole. Before I met you there was always some girl willing to help me get by, but Cass it didn't mean anything, I've never felt before what I feel when I'm with you. It's like magic, like all of my wishes were granted and they were all named Cassidy." He stopped and looked at me. I could see the tears in his eyes.

"Oh No Kevin, you said no tears tonight." I repeated.

"I know baby, but you just get to me, right here." He said placing a hand on his heart. "Besides these are happy tears."

"There are no words that can say how I feel about you. Tonight Cass, tonight baby I want to show you how I feel. I want you to hear it in a song, I want you to feel it in my touch and taste it in my kiss. Baby I want to make love to you tonight like it's the first time. Slowly and gently, showing you in everyway how much I love you. Can we do that Cass, can we just be Kevin and Cassidy tonight. Not parents, not a backstreet boy and his wife, Just us."

"Yes." I whispered, " I would love that very much boo." he stood up and music slowly began to play a song I had never heard before. He pulled me to the dance floor.

"Cassidy, I want you to meet a friend of mine. He's in town tonight and I asked him to sing this song for us. It's one that I helped him with on his album. Hey, Nick you back there?"

"Nick, I thought he was home with Lisa?" I said before turning around, I saw Nick Lachey come thru the stage curtain.

"OMG." I whispered. Kevin knew that I loved Nick and the guys from 98 degrees.

"Hey Kevin. Nice to meet you Cassidy." He held out his hand taking my and gently kissing it. I couldn't speak.

"I've heard a lot about you from this fellow here and I'd be honored to perform for you two tonight if that's ok." I just shook my head yes. Nick laughed and shook hands with Kevin and headed back to the stage. The music began and I heard his soft voice begin as Kevin took me in his arms and began dancing.



I don't know what it is tonight,
Your smile, Your eyes. Yeah...
Even in the candlelight,
You shine, So bright.
You are so beautiful,
More beautiful,
Than you've ever been.
I catch my breath,
And fall in love again.
I can't imagine where I'd be
Without you with me.
I need you more everyday,
More than words can say.
I want you in my life,
For all my life.
This night will never end.
You'll take my hand,
And I'll fall in love again.
And nothing short of a miracle
Could have brought you here to me.
When I'm with you,
Heaven's all I see (All I see)
Caught up in every touch,
I feel the rush, Of this moment that we're in.
Each time we kiss, I fall in love again.
I can't resist, I fall in love again.

When the song ended Nick said goodbye to us and Kevin and I headed back to the table. We ate and sipped on the wine. Music continued to play softly in the background. It was all of our favorites. Kevin had made a special CD and had the restaurant play it while we ate. We sat in silence after the plates were cleared just starring into each other's eyes.

"Ya know Cass. When I helped Nick with that song, I was missing you so bad. Every word is so true. Are you ready to go upstairs?" He stood from the table offering me his hand again. I gently took it in mine. I was trembling. His touch set me on fire, and that voice of his could make my insides melt. He pulled me into his arms and held me too him. I took in a deep breath. The smell of him, the hardness of his body against mine, I couldn't' move.

"You Ok baby."

"Uh Huh." I whispered. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to the private entrance elevators. He held me in his arms the whole way up to the 14th floor. As we stopped in front of the door to our suite he slid me down the front of his body, all the while holding me close. I heard the click of the latch and I heard him speak.

"Just us Cass, promise."

"Promise."

He lifted me up and carried me through the door. The room was covered in white roses. The same CD that was playing down in the restaurant was playing in the room. He carried me through the living room and into the bedroom. The bed was turned down and white rose petals covered the entire bed. Candles were flickering all around the room. Again he slid me down his body holding me tightly to him.

"I love you so much Cass." He began kissing me. My knees growing weaker as his tongue searched my mouth, all I could do was moan. He was stirring up emotions in me I could not recall ever feeling. He was so knowledgeable of my body and how to make it respond to him. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he stopped. He slowly unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor. I was wearing a black strapless bra and panty set. His eyes slowly glimpsed me up and down. I ran my hands up his chest and began to unbutton his shirt. I slid my hands across his shoulder and let the shirt fall to the ground. When we were completely undressed he lifted me onto the bed and slowly and gently made love to me. He took me to heights of pleasure I never thought existed. It was just us. Kevin and Cass, husband and wife. Exploring our bodies and making each other find pleasure and love all in one act. We lay there in the silence holding each other. I began to cry.

"Baby, you ok, did I hurt you?"

"Oh God no Kevin, you were amazing. I just, I just." My body began to shake with the sobs.

"Baby talk to me." He pulled me close to him and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I never knew that love this pure, this amazing existed, and Kevin, I'm lucky enough to be the one that get's to experience it with you. Do you know how amazing that is?" I tried to control my crying.

"Oh darlin, I do know how amazing that is. I'm right there with you. Cass if someone had told me that I would find a love like this. I would have called them a liar. I never thought I could love someone so openly and honestly, never holding back anything." I felt a tear fall from his eyes.

"Please promise me that we will always be this way Kevin. Please don't ever leave me. I would die without you in my life."

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere, even if the good lord calls me home, I'll fight my way back to you."

"Please don't talk like that, you promised we'd grow old and grey and sit on the front porch of the cabin together. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

"Hey, I don't plan on dying anytime soon. I hope to be 100 years old still chasing you around the house naked." We both giggled. "How bout a bubble bath malady?"

"I'd love it. Scrub my back?"

"With pleasure." He lifted me up and carried me to the bathroom

"Oh there will be pleasure boo, I promise you that." As the click of the bathroom door was heard.

We awoke the next morning to a breakfast tray full of fruit and eggs and bacon and juice and coffee.

We had made love all night long finally falling asleep wrapped in each other around 4 am. Kevin had planned for a late check out so we made love all morning till time to check out. We didn't want to go home but we knew that Nick and Lisa couldn't keep all the kids all day. I don't think we lost the smiles on our faces for about the next 4 months.
Chapter 16 by 2liveis2luv
It never ceased to amaze me how wonderful Kevin was with the kids. He would send me off for the day just so he could have them to himself. He loved them so much. Lexi was beginning to take a real interest in music and Kevin was having fun watching her play with the microphone and sing along to all the songs that Kevin would play. Will would sit in the playpen and squeal at the two of them. I got to spend a lot of time with Lisa since Kevin was home, and we were so excited about the new Carter baby coming. We decided to have a brunch with just the wives on Saturday July 22, 2006. It was so great to see everyone. Brian, Leighanne and Tyler flew in for the weekend.

He girls I said as we walked into the restaurant. Cierra and Susie were already there. Brian had brought Tyler over to play with Lexi and the twins, so Leighanne and Lisa had rode with me. Everyone greeted and exchanged hugs. With the kids around it was hard for us to get to spend a lot of time together, so this was going to just be girl's day for brunch and shopping. Lisa, Leighanne and I caught everyone up on the children and how they were doing. Lisa told everyone about the pregnancy and how excited Nick was. I remembered the talk that Lisa and I had had about how bad Cierra had wanted a baby with AJ so I decided to turn the conversation away from babies.

"So Susie, how was the trip to Fiji, did you and Howie have a good time?"

"Oh yes, we had so much fun. We got to spend so much time together. That's something we never get to do here. Always busy with the foundation or with the music. It's so nice to get him to myself. We even talked about starting a family." I clinched my teeth at the word. Everyone started asking her if they had made any big decisions. I could see Cierra wanting to say something but not speaking.

"No, we decided that we would wait till after the 1st of the year and then talk again. We had so much fun just being together we want to do some more traveling first."

"Well." Cierra whispered.

"What's that Ci?" Lisa turned to look at the girl.

"Well, AJ and I." She stopped again.

"OMG!" Leighanne hollered out loud. "YOUR PREGNANT!" We all turned to look at Cierra.

She just tilted her head down. We couldn't see her face. I elbowed Leigh.

"Oh Ci, I'm sorry I just thought." Leigh began to apologize

Cierra burst out laughing.

"Don't be I am." We all burst out laughing. "I told AJ I was going to tell you all today and he's supposed to go tell the boys. I'm so excited and AJ is on cloud 9. I don't think I've ever seen that man smile so much. Well, maybe once or twice." We all laughed again. Congratulations were given. Cierra and AJ's baby would be due in March. I caught a glimpse of Susie she seemed to be a little upset. After we ate we all headed to the mall. Lisa and Leigh went with Cierra in her car, I had wanted some alone time with Susie.

"Hey Sus, you ok?" I asked as we headed towards the mall.

"Yeah, fine." She said looking out the window. I pulled the car over into an abandoned parking lot.

"Sus, look I know we haven't gotten a chance to get to know each other that well, but I really like you. I think you have been wonderful for Howie and I know he loves you.

I just want you to know that if you ever need a friend. I'm here." She turned back to look at me. She had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Cass. Thank you. I really need that right now." She put her head in her hands and began to sob.

"Susie, is something wrong." I reached out and took one of her hands in mine.

"Cass, Howie and I, we want a baby real bad. It's just." She began to cry again.

"It's ok Susie." I just held her hand till she calmed down.

"Cass, we went to the doctor before we left for Fiji. We had decided to start a family while we were there and we wanted to make sure all was good. Cass, they're not sure I can get pregnant. We had some test done and the doctors say that I have endometriosis and it could prevent me from becoming pregnant. I know Howie wants a child and Cass I want to give him one. But what if I can't. I couldn't bear to lose him."

"Susie, I'm so sorry. Honey, don't talk like that. You're not going to loss him. He loves you."

"I know, but I can't hold him back from the chance of having children."
" Don't even talk like that. You know that Howie loves you and that won't change a thing."

"I know he said that he didn't care, that we could adopt, but Cass all of you are having babies and." She stopped and started crying again.

"Susie, maybe the doctors are wrong. We will just start praying really hard that they are. Ok."

"Ok. Maybe your right, it's just so new and it still hurts to think about it. "

"I bet. But I also know that dreams do come true. And I will be here for you to help you see this one thru." We hugged and headed on to the mall. We had so much fun shopping. Lisa and Cierra hit every maternity store and I snuck off with Susie to by a little something for Howie and Kevin.

"Hey Susie, how about this one." I held up a beautiful black nighty that was slit up the to the hip. "This ought to turn his head." I giggled.

"Ohhh, I like that and black is definitely my color. Yep. I'll get that one. Now what about you?" She turned and began looking thru some of the racks.

"OMG.... Cass you have to have this." She screamed across the store to me. She had been searching thru the clearance rack and came over to me holding a nightgown.

"Cass you have to get this for Kevin. She showed me the nightgown" I about died. She was right. I picked up a silver silk nightgown with spaghetti straps and the gown that Susie had found. I couldn't wait till tonight. Kevin was going to love his surprise." We called the guys and decided to pick up take out and head home to dinner with the whole gang. We all came in the house laughing and cutting up. Congratulation was given to AJ and Cierra. We had so much fun. We had all gathered around the pool and just had fun hanging out not having to worry about tour schedules or rehearsals. The boys tossed around the idea of starting on a new album in 2007 to be released in the Fall of 2007 and then tour until the end of 2008.

I noticed Susie and Howie snuggling extra close in the swing. I poked Kevin in the ribs.

"Look at those two." I just smiled.

"Yeah, I kinda wish everyone would leave. I want to snuggle with you," He whispered in my ear.

"Just wait. I bought something really special for you tonight." I giggled.

"OH yeah...how special."

"Well, all I'll say is I could see your face the whole time I was buying it." I just smiled.

"Hmmm. Maybe I need to run these clowns off." He went to get up.

"Don't you dare Kevin! I'm enjoying having them over. There's plenty of night left for us." I noticed that Susie and Howie started to get up. They said their goodbyes to everyone and Kevin and I walked them to the front door.

"Thanks for everything Cass." She whispered as she hugged me goodbye. "Howie and I have decided to just let nature take its course. So where going home and try out that little black number I bought today."

"Oh Susie. I'm so happy for you. I just want you to know that I really do want us to be good friends. Call me ok?" We hugged again and I hugged Howie and we returned to the back. Everyone began to leave and it was soon just Kevin and I. I stood out by the pool just starring at the full moon reflecting in the pool water.

"Penny for your thoughts." I felt his arms slip around my waist.

"Oh, I just had the most amazing day. I forgot how much fun it was to hang out with those guys."

"Yeah, me to. Hey, how bout Bone's gonna be a daddy." He chuckled.

"I know, Cierra is so excited, she really does love him. But I had a talk with Susie today."

"Yeah, Howie pulled me to the side and told me all about it. It was really hard on him to hear that Aje was gonna be a dad."

"I know." I turned to wrap my arms around Kevin; we just held each other for a few moments.

"Oh Kevin, we are so blessed. You know."

"Yeah, I know. So how bout that surprise you were telling me about earlier."

"Oh so you remember that do you?"
"Yep, can I see it?"
"Yeah, go get us a glass of wine and I'll meet you in the bedroom." I kissed him and turned to go in the house.

"My pleasure darlin." He followed behind me.

I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I couldn't wait to see the look on Kevin's face when he sees the surprise. I sprayed my self with some perfume and slipped the gown over my head. I stood admiring the way it hung on my body.

"Hey babe, you need some help in there?" I heard him calling from the bedroom.

"Nope, be out in a sec." One last glance and I headed out the door. Kevin was standing with his back to me turning on the stereo.

"Hey there green eyes." I said in my sexiest voice. He turned around to face me. The look on his face was priceless. We both burst out laughing as he came across the room towards me lifting me in his arms.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he laughed as he kissed me.

"Well, can't you read, you know you're the man of my dreams." We both laughed as we fell to the bed.

"So is this really my surprise?" He asked, tracing the outline on the nightgown.

"Nope it's underneath." He lifted the nightshirt off of me to expose the silver satin gown I had bought. He held the nightshirt in his hands.

"Well at least it's a good picture of me." He tossed it on the floor. It was the last thing I saw before he turned out the lights. There on the floor was the nightshirt that had Kevin's picture on it with his hands out stretched and the words Sweet Dreams Darlin printed across the front.

The rest of the summer flew by and then winter came. We spent the holidays in Kentucky with the family. We would be back in Orlando at the end of January. Lisa had asked me to be in the room for the birth of the baby and I was bound and determined that I wasn't going to miss it. The kids were growing up so fast and Kevin and I were just growing closer and closer. I didn't think I could love him anymore and everyday love proved me wrong. He could take my breath by just walking into the room and when he kissed me I went weak. We spent time out by the stream and made love in the moonlight when we could, didn't want to get to cold.

Cierra and Lisa were doing great and we were so excited about the new babies. Cierra and AJ found out they were going to have a little boy. Oh lord I wasn't sure the world was ready to handle another AJ, but we were still excited. Lisa and Nick had decided to wait till the baby was born to find out. We only had a few more weeks. The baby was due the 20th of February. Everyone had plans for valentines day and I couldn't wait. My dad was going to keep the kids and I was cooking a romantic dinner for Kevin and I.
I had set the table with candles and the fine china and had slipped into a red satin spaghetti strap dress. I knew that Kevin would love it. He came down from the studio and found me leaning against the table waiting.
"Hey darlin"
"Hey boo. Ready for dinner?"
"Uh Huh.... can I skip to dessert." He had me in his arms kissing me on the neck.
"No, now behave. I've worked hard on this, plus we have all night."
"Alright." We sat down at the dinner table and ate. Next we went and snuggled up on the couch together with a glass of wine, listening to Brian McKnight. Kevin began to kiss my neck and rub my back. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of him touching me. His hands knew exactly what it took to turn me own. I could hear him softly singing in my ear. Oh his voice touched my soul. I turned in his arms and began to kiss him. I slipped his shirt lose from his pants and ran my hands up his chest. God he felt so good, the muscles in his chest tensing with my touch. Just as I began to unbutton his shirt the phone rang.
"Ignore it." he said between kisses.
"But what if it's about one of the kids." He swooped me up into his arms and headed towards are bedroom.
"We can hear the machine pick up." We were on the bed making out when the machine finally picked up.
"Kev, Cass.... this is Nick, if you there please pick up."
"Just ignore him babe he'll go away. God you feel so good" I just moaned.
"Hey train. Please man, Lisa and I are at the hospital. The baby's coming, Lisa really wants Cass here. If your there please pick up."
"OH SHIT" I jumped up knocking Kevin off the bed.
"NICK" I yelled into the phone.
"Hey Cass, sorry if I interrupted anything, but this baby's not going to wait, the doctor gives us about two hours. Can you come, tell Train I'll make it up to him."
"Yeah honey, we're on the way, don't worry about him, I'll make it up to him" I hung up and turned to see Kevin sitting in the middle of the floor with his head hung between his knees.
"I'm sorry boo, how bout a quickie we got 2 hours" His head shot up and I tackled him to the floor.

"Yes, I'm here for Lisa Gene." I said at the nurses station when we arrived at the hospital.
"HEY GUYS OVER HERE." We saw AJ and Cierra. She was looking so cute with the little bump in her belly where AJ's hand was resting.
"Over here Train, come sit with us. Cass your needed in room 103." I kissed Kevin and headed down the hall.
"Come in" I heard on the other side of the door. I slowly opened the door and peaked my head in.

"Hi Guys."


"CASS" I heard Lisa." GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW." I walked in the room and went to her side.
"Hey honey, how's it going."
"Besides feeling like my entire insides are being ripped out I'd say pretty good." I watched Nick cringe at the sound in her voice.
"It's ok Nicky she'll forgive you tomorrow." I giggled. Just then a contraction hit Lisa. I grabbed her hand and talked to her softly.
"Just remember all the times that you and I dreamed of being in this spot. You remember?" She nodded. "Remember how bad you wanted to be Mrs. Nickolas Gene Carter." Again a nod.
"Think of all the women that want to be here right now."
" I NEED TO PUSH" She looked up at me.
"Nick, get the nurse now." Nick hit the button and called the nurse. The nurse and the doctor came in.
"Ok, Mrs. Carter let's see what going on." The doctor began to examine Lisa. Nick was standing by her head softly stroking her head.
"Ok, looks like it's time to get us a baby, you can push with the next contraction."
Lisa began to push. After four pushes we heard the most amazing cry.
"Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Carter, meet your daughter." They laid the little girl up on Lisa chest. We all cried. While Nick was watching the nurse clean up the baby I hugged Lisa.

"Oh Lis, she's so beautiful. Congratulations."
"Thanks for being here Cass, I love you."
"I love you too Lisa, thank you for letting me be here. It was so amazing."
"Cass, Nick and I want you and Kevin to be Emily's Godparents, I know that you two agreed to be the boys, so it would only be right for you to be there for Emily as well."
"Oh is that her name, it's beautiful. We would be honored Lis. Thank you."
"Yeah, didn't I tell you her name? It's Emily Cassandra Jane Carter. Hope you don't mind." I began to cry as I hugged her again. I felt a tap on my back.
"Here ya go Auntie Cass." Nick laid the little girl in my arms.
"Hey pumpkin, nice to meet you."
Chapter 17 by 2liveis2luv
Kevin and I headed back home from the hospital and decided that even though it was the day after we were still going to celebrate valentines day. It was about 4 am when we stumbled through the front door.

"Hey boo, wanna get a shower with me?"
"Most certainly, go get the water running and I'll check the messages ok?"
"Ok. I'll meet ya there, I'll be the one wearing nothing."

"Maybe I won't check the messages." He started after me and I took off running. I made it to the bedroom before he caught me. We fell on the bed; Kevin was kissing me on my neck. I could feel his hands unbuttoning my shirt. I grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. I loved to see him with no shirt. I began to run my hands over his body. God his muscle was so taught, along with the rest of his body. I loved the way it felt to rub my hands up his back. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of my husband. After we had made love Kevin lifted me in his arms and carried me to the shower. We stood holding each other under the hot streams of water. No words needing to be said, all was communicated in a touch or a smile or a kiss. We climbed in bed around 7 am and snuggled close.

"Kev"

"Yeah darlin"

"Wasn't the baby beautiful?"
"Yep, she sure is, can't believe she belongs to Nick, must've took after her mama." I popped him and we both giggled and snuggled closer together.

"So, do you want anymore?" I whispered as I asked.

"Anymore what?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Kids?"
"Do you?"
"Well, actually. I do."
"Really?"

"Yeah, what about you."
"I'd like to have a few more?"

"A FEW? How many are you talking Mr. Richardson?"
" Well, I'd like to have another girl and another boy, but I'm happy with the two we have Cass if you don't want anymore."
"Kevin I love our kids and I do want more, I just don't know how many more. I would like to try again maybe next year sometime."

"Sounds good. How bout we take this up again in the morning, I'm sleepy babe. I Love you" He pulled the covers up tight around us.

"Ok, I love you too, and babe, it is morning." He was asleep.

I snuck out of bed and went to the kitchen. I began to make breakfast when I heard a knock on the door. I pulled the sash to my robe tighter and opened the door.

"Hi Susie, what's the matter?" I could tell she was crying.

"OH Cass, I'm so sorry to barge in on you like this, but I have to talk to someone."
"Come in, I'll get us some coffee." She followed me to the kitchen. I got us both a cup and we walked to the living room and sat down.

"What's up?" I said. She began to cry again.

"Cass, Howie and I had the worst fight last night. I was late and thought I might be pregnant, and then at dinner last night I got my period. I got so depressed and asked him to take me home. He got so mad and we fought the whole way home. When he finally went to sleep I just left. He had said such horrible things to me. He said that he didn't care that I wasn't pregnant, and that it was all getting too much. It consumes too much of my time. Cass, I just want a baby, his baby. Is that to much to ask?" I took her in my arms and held her as she cried.

"No honey. I understand, but you can't just leave him like that. He'll be worried sick."
"I left him a note that said I was coming over here. I'm sure he won't care enough to come after me. Cass I just don't understand why it has to be so difficult. Why can't he just care enough about me to want this as much as I do?"
"Oh Sus, Howie does want this as much as you do. He's talked to Kevin about it. It just breaks his heart to see you hurting and there's nothing he can do to make it better. Susie, please know that Howie loves you so much and he wants to give you the baby you want so badly, but he's at a loss too honey. You know what the two of you need."
"What?" She sniffled as she sat up and grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table.

"A get away, just the two of you, somewhere special, and I know just the place."

"Where?" She began to get interested in what I was telling her.

"The Cabin. Our cabin in Kentucky, we'll book you a flight out tonight and you two go there for the weekend. Ok."
"We can't go we have a DLF function to attend to, it will be two weeks before we can go."

"Ok then, it's settled you two go up there, Kev and I have always said it was a magical place. Just go and talk about everything, I'm sure you two will work it all out." I went and got my purse and gave her the keys. I heard Kevin stirring around.

"Hey Susie, Howie here too." He came out the bedroom door.

"No, I'm sorry I intruded."

"No problem Susie your welcome here anytime. Morning Darlin" Kevin said leaning over the back of the sofa to give me a kiss.

"Coffee's in the kitchen." Kevin turned and headed towards the kitchen.

"Look Susie, I'm not sure that it will be the answer to everything, but go up there and get away. Make sure to have a picnic by the stream, it's so beautiful out there." I heard the doorbell ring.

"GOT IT BABE." I heard Kevin yell from the kitchen.

"Bet that's Howie." I whispered.

"Hey man, what's up. You ok?" I heard Kevin in the foyer. "Yeah, she's here come on in, everything ok?" Howie came straight to the living room and dropped on his knees in front of Susie. I slowly stood up and went to stand beside Kevin in the foyer.

"Come to the kitchen, I'll explain." I could see the questions running thru Kevin's eyes.

"Susie, baby, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." I heard Howie and Susie crying as we walked away.

"I told Kevin all about what Susie had told me and how I had offered them the use of the cabin."

"I knew I loved you for some reason" He said taking me in his arms.

"Oh, and I thought you just kept me around for sex." I giggled.

"Well that too" I hit him in the chest.

"Gettin spunky are we." He began to tickle me.

"UH HUH" We heard Howie clearing his throat from the doorway. He and Susie were arm in arm. "Hey, Kev, sorry about this man, but thanks."
"Hey man, no biggie, you know you two are welcome anytime, and anything we can do to help, just ask."

"Well, thanks for the use of the cabin, we would love to use it if your sure."

"Yeah, have fun. I know I do when I go up there." I slapped Kevin in the chest again.

"Hey you two wanna stay for breakfast, the casserole is just about done."
"Naw, we've intruded enough."

"Nonsense, there's plenty, besides. I might need protection from this big lug here." I poked Kevin in the ribs. They started to laugh. I knew everything was going to be ok.

After they left Kevin and I went for a swim and ended up back in bed. We were to pick the kids up later on that afternoon so we took full advantage of the alone time.

Two weeks later Susie and Howie went to spend the weekend at the cabin and Kevin and I got to spend the weekend at the hospital.

"KEVIN, you gotta get here man. I'm freaking out. Oh my God, I'm gonna be a dad." We heard AJ screaming into the answering machine. It was March 2, 2007. We got up and headed to the hospital. When we got to the labor and delivery floor we could hear AJ talking a mile a minute. When Kevin came around the corner AJ caught site of him and came running.

"Oh man. I'm a nervous wreck. You gotta tell me what to do here, I mean how do you handle this?" He was so out of sorts. Kevin grabbed him by both arms and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Bone, get a grip. God lord, why aren't you in the room with Cierra?"
"She said I was to hyper and she ordered me out."
"I can see why. Man you gotta get hold of yourself. Your wife needs you now and so does you son. It's not that big of a deal. Just go in there and hold her hand and tell her how much you love her. No matter what she says to you or about you, or even what she's going to do to you just keep telling her that you love her. Don't mess this up man. Major brownie points can be earned." I slapped Kevin.

"Aje, just go be there for her honey. I hugged him and shoved him back towards the ward doors. We watched as a much calmer AJ disappeared. Denise McLean walked over to us.

"Thank you Kevin. I was beginning to think I was going to have to kill my own child." We all started to laugh. Three hours later we heard the infamous AJ cackle coming back through the halls. He appeared through the double doors holding pictures and crying.

We all gathered around him.

"Look at my boy mama." He said handing Denise the pictures, she began to cry as she looked at the little boy lying in the pictures. He was the spitting image of AJ. She wrapped her arms around her son and cried. We all took turns looking at the pictures and hugging AJ. He was so excited about the baby.

"Well Mr. New Dad, does this little one have a name?"

"Oh yeah, well it only seemed fitting that he had a strong name. Kevin Xander McLean. We're going to call him Xander. Don't need two Kevin's telling me what to do." I saw the tears in Kevin's eyes as he placed AJ in headlock. The baby was absolutely beautiful. He had a head full of black hair just like AJ's and those beautiful eyes.

When we left AJ was standing in front of the window holding Xander and the sun was setting behind them. Life was great. I stopped to say a prayer for Susie and Howie.

"Please lord, they deserve to have this too." I hugged Kevin to me and we headed home.

We decided to have a combined Mother's day and Father's day party in June and let the kids all come over and swim. Everyone was having such a good time. We all took turns holding Emily and Xander. I went and sat by Susie.

"Hey girl, you ok?"

"Yeah, just really tired. Can't seem to get enough rest lately. By the way Cass I can't thank you enough for letting us use the cabin. You were right. It is magic, and the idea about the picnic by the stream. Well, let's just say that by the end of the evening we had totally forgotten we were outside."
"Been there done that, how'd you think we got Lexi." We both laughed. Susie jumped up and ran to the house. I took off after her. I found her in the guest bathroom.

"Susie, you ok" I gently knocked on the door.

"Yeah. Just feeling a little sick." She came out the bathroom looking pale.

"Susie! sick, tired? Are you?' I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"OH GOD CASS, I haven't even thought about it? I've just given up on the whole idea? Do you think?"

‘Well, like I said, how'd you think we got Lexi?"

"What do I do?" She was trembling.

"Come with me." We walked into my bathroom. I began to rummage under the counter. I pulled out a box. "Here." I said handing her a pregnancy test?

‘Uh Cass?" She looked at me.

"False alarm and Kevin had bought a double pack. GO." I pushed her into the toilet room and shut the door. She came out and laid the stick on the counter. I could hear everyone outside laughing and having such a good time. Susie was pacing back and forth. After a few minuets I grabbed her by the arms.

"No matter what, you and Howie love each other nothing's going to change that. RIGHT?"

"RIGHT." We both went to look at the stick.

"Kevin, man that place of yours is so wonderful. I may even look into buying us a place like that. I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed." Howie and Kevin were standing by the pool talking about the trip to Kentucky. Howie turned just in time to catch Susie as she barreled into him knocking him into the pool. I ran up beside Kevin as the two resurfaced.

"HOWARD DWAIN DOROUGH I LOVE YOU. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY WE'RE PREGNANT." Susie screamed as the two of them held to the side of the pool. Howie grabbed her and locked her in a passionate kiss. Tears were falling from everyone's eyes as we got them out of the pool. Things were going to be perfect. The newest backstreet baby would make its way into the world around the end of March 2008.
Chapter 18 by 2liveis2luv
The next year was so full of wonderful days. The boys were taking time off to spend with their families. Kevin had been offered a job in a Broadway musical and he would fly in and out when necessary. The kids and I spent time between Florida and Kentucky. We would spend weeks in Florida with Lisa and the kids while Nick worked on production stuff. He had started his own production company and was doing very well. Howie and Susie were patiently awaiting the birth of their first-born and AJ and Cierra were all wrapped up in Xander. You just knew every time the phone rang that the baby had learned something new. AJ was such a good daddy. Brian was out promoting his solo album and Leigh and Tyler were right there with him. Leigh had been talking about a brother or sister for Tyler, but Brian wanted to spend time on the solo track before adding to the family. I missed Kevin so much when he was away with the musical, but I knew it was something he had always wanted to do and I was proud of him. I flew out to New York to surprise Kevin for the opening night and was so impressed by all the cast, but especially the one playing the male lead. I couldn't wait to get him alone that night. He had been so wonderful on stage it made my insides twist just thinking about the night that lay ahead. I had left a note at the hotel's front desk for him.



Kevin,



Hi,

I wanted to see if you would do me the honor of meeting me for a drink to celebrate your opening night. I promise it will continue to be a night to remember if you meet me.

Yours & Yours Alone...........

I had dressed the tight fitting black cocktail dress Kevin had bought me. It dropped low and showed off the emerald pendant Kevin had given me. I sat there sipping on my drink waiting on him to come in. I let my mind wonder as to the night that lay ahead. I was brought back to reality when I heard a familiar voice. I could hear the voice, but I couldn't see the person.

"No, she doesn't know about you."

"But Kevin, don't you think it's time you tell her?"

"No, I'm not ready to tell her yet. I need a little more time." My heart began to sink.

"But Kevin, she is going to find out."
"I know, but it's just that it's complicated. I'm not sure how she will take the news. I don't want to upset her. I have to find the right time to tell her." Tears began to fall down my face. Could this be real?

"Kevin, this is not the kind of secret that needs to be kept. She needs to know as soon as possible. I mean, the longer you wait."

"I know, I know, look I love Cass, but..." I didn't stay around to hear anymore. My heart was breaking. I ran to the front desk and had the doorman get me a taxi. I had to get out of there. I needed to get back home.

Oh god, what was I going to do. Had I lost Kevin? What had happened? What about the kids, what about us? I broke down in the back of the cab after asking the driver to take me to the airport. I was booked on the first flight home, I needed Will and Lexi, I sat in the VIP lounge waiting for my flight to be called.

"Kevin, if you are seriously going to buy a house in LA then Cass needs to be made aware of it. You can't just surprise her with something like that?" Sarah said.

"I know Sarah, it's just I know that with Lexi getting ready to start school and moving Cass so far away from Lisa, well, it will be hard for her. I just know that I am going to be spending a lot of time on the West Coast and it would be easier for me if I had my family with me. I miss them so much and I need Cass so bad." Kevin sat talking to Sarah Campbell never noticing Cass in the booth behind him. He never saw her leave.

"Well Sarah, I really got to get to bed, thanks for doing this interview so late, with the show schedule and rehearsals it so hard."

"Well, you know I love you and Cass and I would do anything to help and really if you want me to check out that house for you in LA when I fly back next week I'll be happy too. I know Cass's taste pretty well by now and I'm sure that I will be able to tell you whether or not she will like it." Sarah had flown into New York for an interview for MTV on his opening night. They both got up and left the restaurant. After putting Sarah in a cab Kevin headed back inside the hotel.

"MR. RICHARDSON." Kevin heard the night clerk hollering for him as he was stepping onto the elevator. He stopped the doors from closing as the clerk ran towards the doors.

"Mr. Richardson, I'm so sorry, but you have a note here. I wanted to make sure you got it, however the young lady that left it has already left the restaurant."

"Thank you" Kevin said taking the note from the boy. The elevator doors closed. Kevin could smell a familiar scent coming from the envelope. He felt his insides began to tingle. He couldn't wait to get to his room. He ran down the hall way and quickly swiped his keycard in the door, flinging it open in one swoop. Complete darkness.

"CASS" Kevin hollered into the darkness. No answer. He reached for the light and flipped it on. He sat down on the sofa and opened the envelope. Where could she be? He thought to him self as he unfolded the paper. His eyes falling to the words.

Kevin,

Hi,

I wanted to see if you would do me the honor of meeting me for a drink to celebrate your opening night. I promise it will continue to be a night to remember if you meet me.

Yours & Yours Alone...........

He called down to the front desk.

"Excuse me, but you said that the lady who left this had left the restaurant, do you know where she went?"

"Yes sir, she was crying and asked for a taxi to the airport."

"OH GOD, CASS." Kevin yelled as he dropped the phone. His imagination began to run through what had been said at the table between him and Sarah.

"If Cass overheard us? Oh god, what does she think? Where is she?" He grabbed his cell phone and dialed her number.

Cass glanced down at the ringing phone. His picture showing up with each ring, tears falling harder each time his face appeared. Do I answer? She thought to herself holding the phone tight in her hands.

"Hello." Her voice trembled as she spoke. She tried hard to stop the tears from falling.

"Darlin, where are you?" He was crying, she could hear it in his voice. He knew she knew.

"I'm going home Kevin."

"No baby, you got it all wrong. Please tell me where you are."

"Kevin, I'm not stupid or blind, I saw you, and I heard you. I know you don't want to upset me but it's to late Kevin. There's no need for explanations." Her voice growing more and more staggered with each word.

"Baby, please, it's not what you think, let me come get you, let me explain."

"EXPLAIN? How? What is there to explain? God Kevin, wasn't I enough, didn't I give you everything you wanted? I was always there, I still am. What did I do so bad?" Her sobs over took her and she dropped the phone running to the bathroom. She didn't want everyone in the lounge starring at her.

"BABY, Please." He was yelling in the phone now. The counter attendant picked up the phone.

"Uh, Hello?" She asked.

"WHO"S THIS?" Kevin yelled.

"I'm Mandy, the lounge attendant? Who's this?"

"I'm Kevin, why do you have my wife's phone?"

"She dropped it and ran into the ladies room, Kevin, Kevin Richardson?"

"Yes, where are you, where is she, is she ok?"

"I'm at the airport in the VIP lounge, she's in the bathroom and apparently she is not OK?" His tone was upsetting Mandy.

"Mandy, look I'm sorry, it's just my wife and I have had a small misunderstanding and I really need to talk to her. Can you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Can you stall my wife until I can get there. It'll take me fifteen minutes at the most."
"Well her flight is scheduled to start boarding in ten minutes."
"Please Mandy, can you help me? Look you know who I am, what can I do for you to get you to help me?"

"Well"

"Come on Mandy, how bout an autographed picture of Nick?" Kevin thought Mandy sounded like someone close to Nick's age.

"Well"
"Come on Mandy, ANYTHING?" Kevin was getting desperate; he was already downstairs getting into a cab.

"I'm not a Nick fan." She said shyly?
"Then who, AJ, Howie, Brian, please Mandy just name it?"
"Well, I would love...." She paused.

"Yeah?"

"I would love a hug and an autograph from...."she paused again.

"You got it, just tell me who and I'll set it up." He had her and he knew it.

"YOU." She squealed.

"ME? Sure, you keep my wife there till I get there and I'll even give you a kiss." He heard the girl squeal and he hung up the phone.

"Excuse me." Cass stood at the attendants counter. "Did anyone find a pink razor phone?" Cass had calmed down and realized that her flight would soon be taking off she could only think of getting home to Lexi and Will.

"Yes mam, someone did find a phone, you will have to wait for the security guard to bring it from the security office." Mandy had taken the phone there knowing that they would be slow about bringing it back. This would ensure that she would miss the flight.

"Let me call them, if you'll just have a seat over there." Mandy motioned to the chairs over by the piano in the lounge. She picked up the phone and called the security office.

"It will be a few minutes." She told Cass as she hung up the phone. She just grinned to herself. She had been a fan of Kevin Richardson's since the Backstreet Boys first got together and she was going to make sure that her dream came true, to give that man a hug.



"FLIGHT 223 to Orlando now boarding at Gate 8" Echoed over the loud speaker. Cass stood and went to the counter.

"Please, that's my flight. Can you check on my phone, I really need to board."
"Yes, mam, if you would just have a seat over there." Once again she motioned to the chairs by the piano. The lounge had cleared, the only two left was Cass and Mandy.



"FINAL BOARDING CALL FOR FLIGHT 223 TO ORLANDO." Cass began to consider leaving without the phone. Just then the doors to the lounge opened.

"OMG." She gasped to herself and headed to the bathroom door. Kevin was headed towards the counter when he caught the movement out the corner of his eyes.

"CASS, STOP" He yelled as she ducked into the bathroom. "DAMN IT" He yelled hitting his hand on the counter making Mandy jump.

"Mr. Richardson?" Mandy softly spoke up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you must be Mandy." He turned to notice the young girl standing to his left.

"Yes, sir." He walked to the edge of the counter and pulled Mandy into a hug. The young girl just sighed.

"Here ya go. He pulled two tickets to the musical out of his pocket. I'm sorry I don't have the autograph picture with me, but if you will come to the show on Friday I will have one for you."

"OH Mr. Richardson, thank you so much. By the way, we are the only ones' left in here. I was just getting ready to close the lounge down, no more flights out tonight." She winked and went to the back of the lounge and disappeared through the doors. Kevin walked over to the bathroom door; he pushed on the door, locked.

Kevin placed his forehead to the door and placed both hands on the door.

"Cass, baby, please, talk to me. Please come out." His voice was soft. "Baby, please, it's not what you think. Cass I love you so much, you're my life, you and the kids, your everything. Baby, please let me explain what you saw, what you heard." A tear slid down his cheek.

Cass stood on the other side of the door. Her tears spilling over with every word he spoke. Her body betraying her; wanting to run into his arms, her heart breaking, her head telling her to stay stong. She loved Kevin so much.

"Cass, darlin, I need you please. Damn it CASS, PLEASE." She heard him pound on the door. She placed her head on the door. Silence, after a few minutes she heard a familiar sound. Kevin knew that she could hear him and he had to convince her to come out. Cass could hear the soft sound of the piano coming from the lounge. She slid down the door where she could hear through the vent. What was he doing? Then she heard that voice, the one that stopped her heart, and those words. Oh god.



It seems like yesterday when I said, "I do"
And after all this time, My heart still burns for you
If you don't know by now, That you've my only one.
Take a look inside me, And watch my heart strings come undone
I know I promised you forever, Is there no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm Is raging outside, you're my safest place to hide
Can you see me, here I am I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide You see colors no one else can see
And every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can I feel my soul unfolding like a flower blooming When this whole world gets too crazy
And there's no where left to go I know you'll give me sanctuary
You're the only truth at all, You're the road back home
Can you see me, here I am Standing here where I've always been
And when words are not enough, I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide My safest place to hide
I know I promised you forever There's no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside you're my safest place to hide.

That you
My are to hide


Kevin's sobs became unbearable as she heard him fighting them to finish the song. As his word stopped he felt her hand touch his shoulder.

"Oh Cass" He sobbed and grabbed her holding tightly as he cried.

"Kevin, not here." She said.

"Let's go back to the hotel, ok." He stood, his body towering over hers.

"Ok." The ride back was silent; they made their way across the lobby and upstairs to his suite. Cass walked over to the windows and crossed her arms over her chest. She stood their starring out at the city lights. She could feel Kevin's stare on her back.


"Baby, please come sit down by me." He sat on the edge of the sofa.

Cass slowly walked over and sat down. She wouldn't look at him, couldn't look at him. She knew is she looked into those eyes she would lose what little composure she had left.

"Baby, I know that what you heard or what you saw must have gave you the wrong impression."

"No, Kevin, I was wrong, I shouldn't have run away like that. I should have stayed to see what was happening. I'm here now so just tell me. If you don't want me anymore, I will find a way to understand, but please just tell me the truth." A tear fell down her face. Kevin reached up to wipe the tear with his thumb cradling her face in his hand.

"Darlin, you are all that I want, you are the only person I need. Like I was saying, I know it didn't look or sound good, but what you heard was a discussion between me and Sarah."

"Sarah?"

"Yes, Sarah, she was here doing an interview. The production company for the musical has asked me to sign on for three more months and most of the rehearsals will be held in LA. I can't stand the thought of being away from you and the kids that long. Cass, I asked Sarah to check out this house in LA for me when she went back. She was here doing the interview I told you about for MTV and she said she would. Baby, I didn't want to tell you about any of this until I was for sure that I was taking the part. I know how much you love being in Florida with Lisa and how you enjoy the time we spend in Kentucky so I just didn't want to upset you about this until I had to."

"Oh Kevin, I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry. It's just that when I saw you with her and I heard you saying all those things." She covered her face with her hands as the sobs overtook her.

"Oh baby" Kevin took her in his arms. "It's ok. I'm sorry, I know that we promised each other that we wouldn't keep anything from each other and I broke that. I'm so sorry." They sat there holding each other.

"Cass, you are the only one for me. I love you so much." He tilted her chin up to look into those emerald eyes.

"I love you to Kevin, I'm sorry I doubted you, doubted us. It's just that, God if I was to ever lose you. I don't think I could live."

You will never lose me Cass, I love you and there is no other woman out there for me. Come on let me show you how much I love you." He stood pulling her to stand beside him. He wrapped her in his arms and began kissing her. Her knees gave way as his hands caressed her back. He bent scooping her in his arms and carrying her to the bed. As he undressed her, his eyes grew black with passion. Her heart pounded, she trembled with his every touch. They made love, so intensely. They both were showing each other their need for the other. Wanting to make sure that each one knew how much the other loved them. The sound of their heavy breaths filled the room.

"Kevin. If you want to move to LA, It's fine with me. You and me that's what makes it home, as long as it's you and me." She snuggled closer to him.

"Always and forever Cass, just the two of us. I'll never leave you and your right, as long as we have each other that's home. I love you." The fell asleep reassured of each other's love and knowing that nothing could separate them from each other.
Chapter 19 by 2liveis2luv
Cass awoke and turned to find the spot next to her empty. She sat up and looked around. How could she have been so wrong last night? How could she have doubted Kevin or their love for each other? She trusted Kevin, why last night did it seem different. She heard the shower running. As she made her way across the room she knew that never again would she doubt her love for him or his love for her. There was no longer any question that they would be together forever. She eased the bathroom door open and could make out the outline of his body thru the shower door. He was so gorgeous. All six foot two inches of him. The muscles in his body moved gingerly as he shifted his weight. All those years of dancing and performing had tuned his body perfectly. Those big strong arms that held her when she needed it most, those long fingers that caressed her body, and yet could move across piano keys with such passion and intensity. Those eyes. So green that some days it hurt to stare at them, but yet always drawing you in deeper and deeper and that voice that could melt your heart. She longed to be next to him, to touch him. She wanted to run her hands over his chest and drive him crazy. She wanted to run kisses down his neck, to taste him on her lips. She slowly opened the shower door and stepped in.

Kevin had lie awake all night watching Cass sleep. God he had almost lost her. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known that she would understand. She always did. She loved him unconditionally and never questioned any decision he made. She was his rock, his source of support. He could see her in his mind. All five foot six inches of her. The way her black hair fell down her back, like black silk. She was beautiful but after the children were born she became more beautiful to him. He loved the way her hips curved just so. The way her skin felt so soft under his touch. The way she cried his name passionately when they made love. There was nothing in the world this woman could do that didn't make him love her more, a tear escaped his eyes. Nothing could ever keep him from loving her, her and her alone. She was the only reason he lived, she and the kids, he knew that death itself could not stop him from being with her. His body trembled as he cried thinking about what he almost lost, he didn't hear the door open and close behind him.

Her finger traced the muscles on his back, he moaned as their skin connected. She stepped closer to him causing the heat in the shower to begin to rise. As her hands moved around him, she caressed his chest. He turned quickly in her arms, wrapping his around her and taking her lips with his.

"God Cass, do you know what you do to me?" He broke away breathless.

"I know what you do to me." She whispered. " Kevin I love you so much. I want you to know that I will never doubt us again. I promise boo, no more running away." Her hand gently running over his shoulders massaging away the tension, Kevin closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her touching him. His hands began to move up and down her sides, gently touching and exploring the body he knew so well.

Cass leaned forward and began to kiss his chest. The heat from her mouth making Kevin want her more and more, needing her.

"Boo?"

"Yeah darling." Their voices catching from the feelings they were giving to each other.

"Scrub my back?"
"Anything you want, anything you want." He took the sponge and began to lather her back with soap. Slowly he washed her entire body. He watched as she stood under the spray of water and let it rinse her, it was so erotic watching the water cascade over her body. She took the sponge and began to wash Kevin. She could see the muscles of his body growing tense from her touch.

"Relax Boo, let me take care of you."

"Baby, you drive me crazy when you're this close. I want to hold you and feel you next to me. I want to make love to you and never let you go." finished he rinsed off pulling her under the water with him. They stood kissing each other so fiercely, both needing to be closer to the other.

"Make love to me boo." Cass cried out. Kevin turned the water off and scooped her into his arms carrying her to the bed. He was so gentle, so loving. She was lost in the passion that they were creating together. She knew that this was the only man she would ever love. He gave her so much, always making sure she was happy and satisfied. As they lay there in the aftermath, Cass wrapped in Kevin's arms, she whispered.

"What did I do to deserve you?" A tear fell from Kevin's eyes.

"You loved me Cass, you just loved me."

Kevin and I purchased the house in LA so that he could do the musical for the next three months. The kids loved it in California, but my heart longed for home. I missed the cabin and the stream, and I missed Lisa. I called her as often as I could. The musical was fantastic and Kevin was receiving rave reviews. They decided to extend the show and travel all over; they took it to Canada and Tokyo. Kevin loved the theater and was so happy. I couldn't wait till March; we were flying back to Orlando to await the new baby.

March 17 2008 we got to welcome the newest member of the backstreet family. Howard Dwain Dorough, Jr. came into this world screaming, but he was beautiful He had chocolate eyes like Howie's. We all laughed at the thought of BSB part 2 now being complete. Dwain was a good baby and somehow we just knew that he and Xander would be the best of friends. The boys had taken the last year off and with no babies in the near future decided to start working on an Album. The would head to Switzerland in May to start laying tracks. Kevin and I had decided to spend the summer in Kentucky. We spent days riding horses and swimming in the stream with the kids. We always found time to sneak away and relax next to the stream at night.

Mama Anne loved watching the kids grow. It made her sad when we left, but she always knew that we would be back. The day Kevin flew to Switzerland, I sat on the swing of the cabin and watched the sunset over the stream. The more time we spent together the harder it got to let him go off. I missed his arms to hold me when I was down, or the way he would snuggle right up next to me when we slept. I felt so safe with him home and when he wasn't it felt like my world was collapsing around me. I had put Lexi and Will to bed and was enjoying the breeze when I heard the phone ring.

"Mrs. Richardson?" A voice on the other line spoke softly.

"Yes, this is she, who is this?"

"Mrs. Cassidy Richardson?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Florida Hospital Orlando. Mrs. Richardson, your father has been brought here."
"OMG, Is he ok?" the tears began to fill my eyes.

"It seems that Mr. Nicholson has suffered a heart attack. I'm sorry Mrs. Richardson, you might want to get here as soon as possible."

"I'm on my way."

I dropped the phone on the cradle and ran to get my cell phone. I began to dial Kevin's number; I tried to control my trembling.

"Hey Darlin, miss me already." Kevin was laughing.

"Boo." I began to cry.

"Cass, baby, what's wrong, Cass." He knew there was something wrong.

"Kevin, it's....it's.....oh KEVIN." I began to cry harder.

"Baby, talk to me, is it the kids, are they ok. Come on Cass your scaring me."

"Kevin, my daddy's had a heart attack, he's in the hospital in Orlando, and they said I need to come right now." The words tore at Kevin's heart. He knew how hard it was to hear those words. The loss of his own father still stung.

"Baby, I'm on my way. I ‘ll meet you in Orlando, ok. Cass, call mama, she'll know what to do. Ok, Baby. Cass."

"Ok, Kevin, I can't lose him. Oh god." I began to cry. " Kevin I need you."

"Baby, I'm on my way. Please call mama. Ok." He was crying now. The other guys were trying to find out what was up. Kevin placed a hand over the receiver and told Brian to get him on the next flight to Orlando, he filled them in and had Nick call Lisa. AJ called and booked a flight for Cass.

"Boo, please."

"Cass, I'm calling mama, go get your stuff ready. AJ's got you a flight out in an hour. Go baby. I'll meet you there." They hung up and Cass ran to the room pulling things from the drawers and throwing them into bags. Mama Anne came running in the house and took Cass in her arms.

"Oh Cass, I'm so sorry. I'll stay here with the kids, you go. Call me as soon as you know."

The flight seemed to take forever. So many things running thru my mind, Lisa was waiting for me. I just collapsed in her arms and sobbed.

"Come on Cass, let's get going." We drove in silence to the hospital. All I could think of was what if I lost my dad. Could I bear not having him around? I needed Kevin, he made everything all right. I needed his arms around me.

I ran thru the doors of the hospital and headed straight for ICU. I was taken to my daddy's room. He looked so frail. The doctor said they had done all they could do.

"Daddy?" My voice trembling as I took his hand in mine.

"Hey princess." His voice was so soft. "Sorry about all this. I'm just so tired."

"Don't daddy, it's going to be ok. I just know you'll be fine." I squeezed his hand tighter.

"Listen to me princess."
"No daddy, just rest." I didn't want him to say what I saw in his eyes.

"Cass, listen. I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart. You and those babies are all that have kept me going since I lost your mother."
"Daddy, please, rest." I begged.

"You have brought me so much joy and happiness, more than you will ever know. Please make sure that Lexi and Will know how much I love them, and Kevin too. He's like the son I never had."

"Daddy, don't" Cass felt her knees go weak, as she leaned to kiss her dad.

"I love you princess"

"I love you too....."The long steady buzz on the monitor told Cass all she needed to know.

"DADDY NOOOOO." She collapsed across his body as the nurses and doctors ran in.

"We're so sorry Mrs. Richardson?" The doctor turned to Cass as he switched off the monitor.

"NOOO" Cass turned to leave and ran into the arms of the only one that could save her now.

"Baby, Shhh. It's ok I'm here." That voice. She grabbed onto Kevin and slid down to the floor sobbing. Kevin scooped her into his arms and walked over to the chair in the corner of the room. As the nurses and doctors left they closed the door behind them.

"He can't be gone, I need him. Please Kevin." She clung to his shirt, crying with all she had in her.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know how bad this hurts, but he was tired baby. Shhh. Please." The tears falling down Kevin's face.

"But he's my daddy, he's supposed to always be here."

"I'll be here now Cass. Sometimes, they just can't be." God how could he help her. He still grieved the loss of his own father. They sat in the silence holding each other and crying. Hours passed.

"Darlin, we need to go. Come on, let me take you home." He stood letting me slide down the front of him holding on so that I wouldn't fall. He walked with me over to the edge of the bed and held me as I kissed my daddy goodbye one last time. As we walked out into the hallway I heard the door shut behind us. I collapsed.

May 15, 2008 I buried my father. I don't know how I could have made it with out Kevin by my side, but all I knew was that Kevin was all I had left in the world. Kevin, Lexi and Will.
Chapter 20 by 2liveis2luv
June 30, 2008


Kevin was so wonderful, he would be there when I cried and took the kids when I wanted to be alone. I couldn't believe my dad was gone.

As the months passed the breakdowns seemed to lessen, I knew I was going to have to move on with my life and it helped having Kevin and the kids and being at the cabin. It also helped that Nick and Lisa were coming in one week. I couldn't wait to see her. I missed her so much.

"CASS." I heard that familiar voice echo through the kitchen right after the door shut.

"LISA" I took off running down the stairs and ran into her at the bottom. We stood there hugging and crying. The boys just stood back shaking their heads. They must have thought we were crazy.

"Come on." I grabbed her hand pulling her towards my bedroom. "Kevin, help Nick put their things in the spare room. I already set up the playpen for Emily." My sentence cut off by the closing of the bedroom door.

"Oh god, I'm so glad your here." We collapsed on the bed.

"Me too, how are you Cass. You've sounded so sad on the phone lately when we've talked."

"I'm making it. Kevin's been so great. I think I've cried on his shoulder so much it's become water logged." We giggled. "But he's just been right there for me. I don't know what I would've done without him here."

"Well, he lost his dad too, so I'm sure he knows what you're going thru."

"Yeah, I know and I hate it cause I know it hurts him that I'm hurting and it reminds him about his dad. I really am trying to get better about being so upset, it's just sometimes, when I see him and Lexi together." The tears began to well up in my eyes. "I remember me and my dad." Lisa pulled me into a hug and we sat there crying.

"Ok, enough of this nonsense." I sat up wiping my eyes. "So what do you and Mr. Carter want to do while your here?" I pulled Kevin's pillow into my lap.

"Well, we thought we would just spend time with you and Kevin and let the kids play. I mean Emily and Will have hardly gotten a chance to play together with someone moving all the way across the country from us." She pretended to pout.

"Oh Lisa, I'm sorry. I know it killed me to move away from you, but it killed me more the thought of being away from Kevin that long."
"I'm just playing with you girl. Trust me I know what you mean. I thought I would die when Nick went to Switzerland for that month. We hardly get anytime together now with the kids around and then we he goes off with the music.... oh man. Some days I just wish he would give up the career and stay home with me and the kids, and then I see him perform and hope I'm still watching him do it 80 years from now."
"I know what you mean. I've seen the musical so much I can recite Kev's lines, but I wish we could just move back here to Kentucky and settle down with the kids." We heard the guys laughing out in the living room.

"Nick's really missed Kevin."

"Yeah, Kevin's been missing him too. Wanna go jump our men?" I giggled.

"Most definitely." We took off out the bedroom and both collapsed in the guy's laps.

"Hey gorgeous." Lisa laid one on Nick.

"Hey baby girl." He pulled her close.

"Hey boo." I snuggled close to Kevin as he wrapped me tight in his arms.

"So girls, you up for going out to dinner tonight?" Nick looked at me.

"Oh that sounds great Nick, but what about the kids?" I looked at Kevin.

"Well, mama and Lacey said they would come over and watch them."

"Oh Kevin, thank you." I just hugged him tighter.

I was getting ready in the bathroom when Kevin came in to stand behind me. He was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a black button up shirt.

"MMM" I moaned as I turned around to be captured in his arms.

"Well, I could say the same thing about you." He gave me a quick kiss, gently lifting me to sit on the counter in front of him.

"I'm not even dressed yet silly." I giggled. I was wearing a bra and panty set that was pink with black polka dots.

"EXACTLY" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Kevin Richardson, your incorrigible." I swatted at his chest. He bent down and began to kiss my neck. He smelled so good.

"Yep and with this bod, you encourage me to do a lot of things." He captured my lips with his.

"Uh Uh. I pushed him back. As much as I want you right now, and believe me I do, I'm looking forward to dinner with Nick and Lisa, but I promise when we get back home we will take up where we left off." I hopped off the counter pushing him towards the door.
"Promise."

"Promise. Now out so I can finished getting dressed." He swatted me on the butt and walked out. I watched him walk away and sighed.

"How did I get so lucky."? I whispered after him.

"You loved me Cass. You just loved me he whispered back as he walked out the door.

I slipped on the pink sweater set and black Capri pants and sandals and headed out the door. Lisa, Nick and Kevin were ready to go. I kissed the kids and we headed out.

We talked all thru dinner. Lisa and Nick filling us in on everything going on in Orlando. They had brought pictures of Xander and DJ as he was now being called. We had so much fun laughing and talking about everything going on in our lives. Nick and Kevin talked about the upcoming album, they were so excited. They had worked really hard on this one and couldn't wait for the release. After dinner we headed back home. The kids were asleep we sat around the fireplace talking.

"So Nick, Lisa.....anniversary's coming soon? Any big plans?"

"Uh," Nick looked at Lisa and then back to Kevin and me.

"Nicholas Gene Carter, you better not tell me you forgot our anniversary." Lisa sat up and turned to look at Nick lying on the floor by the fireplace.

An evil grin began to spread over Nick's face.

"Now baby girl, do you think I would forget the best day of my life?" He pulled her down to him and kissed her. I snuggled closer to Kevin.

"I've got something real special planned, but your not going to know what it is." He looked at Kevin. I turned and saw the grin on Kevin's face.

"OH YOU," Lisa leaned down and kissed Nick. "Your too good to me you know that."

"Yep and you better remember that." She swatted him in the chest."HEY." He pretended to pout.

"Oh, don't act like you don't like it rough just cause Kevin's here." She giggled.

"WOMAN!" He pulled her tightly to him. A yawn escaped. "Sorry guys, I guess the flight really got to me." He said.

"Yeah, I'm kinda tired to." She looked at him. It was so sweet to see them together. We all said goodnight and headed to the bedrooms.

"They seem so happy." I said to Kevin as I headed towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, lil Nicky's all grown up." I turned to watch him unbutton his shirt and lay it on the chair.

"MMMM." I grinned.

"What you looking at darlin."

"Well," I smiled. "I'm looking at my sexy husband undressing in front of my eyes."

"Oh yeah, you like that huh."

"Uh Huh." I leaned back against the doorframe to the bathroom.

"How bout this." He said walking towards me and taking me in his arms.

"Uh Huh." I whispered as he held me close.

"And this." He said leaning down to kiss my neck.

"Oh Yeah." I moaned. "Kevin."

"Yeah darlin."

"Wanna finish what I started before dinner?" I looked up into those emerald eyes.

"Uh Huh." He pushed me into the bathroom where we stood next to the bathroom counter. Slowly he lifted my sweater over my head.

"MMMM." I moaned. "Now let's see, these are in the way." I unbuckled the belt of his pants and started to unbutton them.

"And these." He said sliding my capri's off. He lifted me up on the counter and claimed my lips with his. Just like before I sat on the counter in just my pink and black polka dotted bra and panties. His hands felt so warm on my skin. Each caress causing me to melt into him more. He tasted so good, and I could smell his cologne. He pulled me up against his body and I could feel him, god he felt so good. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles behind his back. He lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom. Gently he laid me down on the bed and began to explore my body. Placing kisses all over me. Every place his lips touched tingled. He kept on till I couldn't take anymore.

"Please Kevin." I begged.

"Please what Cass." He asked in a husky voice, all the while continuing his assault on my body.

"Please make love to me."

"My pleasure."

We snuggled up tight wrapped up in each other.

"Thanks boo."

"For what?"

"For loving me like you do."

"My pleasure."

"No the pleasure was all mine." I snuggled closer placing my head on his chest listening to the beat of his heart.

"So what's this Nick has planned?"

"Well, he asked if we could watch the kids and he was going to take Lisa away for the weekend. I told him I didn't think it would be a problem so they fly out day after tomorrow. That's ok with you isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Wow, Lisa will be so excited. She was just telling me how they hardly ever get any time together. "

"Yeah, Nick was saying the same. He's taking her to Lover's Beach in Cancun. A buddy of ours has a secluded beach house."

"Oh that's so great, I know Lisa will love it." I yawned.

"Get some sleep babe." He kissed me on the forehead.

"Night boo."

"Night darlin."

Kevin and Nick disappeared the next day and Lisa the kids and I took off for town. Lisa was going to need clothes for the trip.

"NICK, this is so beautiful." Lisa looked around the beach house. She was so excited. She had been longing for alone time with Nick. She loved that man more than words could ever say and she loved their time together. It just seemed so few and far between.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like it. Come here." He said pulling him to her to capture her lips with his.

"God Lisa, do you know how much I love you, love us?" Nick placed his forehead to Lisa's looking into her eyes.

"I have some idea." she smiled up at him.

"Lisa, I never knew that I could be so happy. You and the kids, that's what finally completed me."

'Oh Nick." A tear fell down her cheek. Nick wiped it away.

"I want this weekend to be all about us. Ok?"

"Ok." Nick bent down and scooped her up taking her to the master bedroom. The room was filled with tropical flowers, music softly playing in the background.

"NICK." Lisa looked around the room. The french doors opened to a view of the ocean and the sun setting over the water. Like a scene from a movie the two stood in front of the door swaying to the music. Nick holding Lisa tight to his body. Her hands moving over his shoulders feeling the stong arms that held her.

"Lisa, let me make love to baby girl. Let me show you what I'm feeling."

"Mmmmm." She couldn't speak. Nick led her by the hand over to the bed and slowly slid the straps of her sundress from her shoulders allowing the dress to fall to the floor.

"God your beautiful." He starred at his wife, taking the sight of her in causing him to want her more and more. Gently he laid her on the bed and made love to her. Showing her all the feeling he had inside, taking his time and taking her to new heights.

They lay their watching the moon reflect on the water outside the house. You could hear the waves rolling onto the shore and the gentle ocean breeze blowing thru the trees. Nick started to move.

"Where are you going?" Lisa asked pulling him back to her. He kissed her on the lips and moved away again.

"I have something for you." He walked over to the closet and pulled out a gift back and his guitar. He walked back to the bed and sat on the edge handing Lisa the bag.

"I have a song to sing for you. I thought of you the whole time I wrote it. Wanna hear it?"

"Of course you know I love to hear you sing." Lisa sat up in the bed.

"Lisa I love you so much and sometimes, I feel like I take you for granted. Please baby girl know that I love you more than anything and from here on out I'm going to be there for you. Lisa you're the rock in my life the one thing I know is always true. I love you so much." Tears falling from his eyes.

"Oh Nick, I love you too, baby you don't take me for granted, I love you just the way you are." She hugged her knees and closed her eyes as he gently strummed the guitar.

Lately I've been thinking about the things that we've been through
And I don't know if I'd be here if not for you
I had to take a little time to try to work things out
And you should know that I had never meant to let you down
Cuz I, I, Wanna tell you that I am sorry
And I, I, Even when I'm not giving enough and I'm taking too much
You're still there for me Even when I got nothing at all and I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me
There for me There for me
Even when I can't be there for you,
You're always there for me Oh Oh

Sometimes I know I can be so hard to understand (it's okay)
Even when I'm lost to show me who I really am
Life with me, it hasn't always been an easy ride
But because of you I've learned to loose myself much high
Cuz I, I, Wanna tell you that I am sorry
And I, I, Even when I'm not giving enough and I'm taking too much
You're still there for me
Even When I got nothing at all and I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me There for me There for me
Even when I can't be there for you,
Oh, you are always there for me
O, know it's love Oh Wow
Must Be Love Woohooo
It's gotta be real love
It's gotta be real love
Real Love
Even when I'm not giving enough and I'm taking too much
You're still there for me
Even when I got nothing at all and I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me
There for me there for me
Even when I can't be there for you
I can't be there Even when I can't be there for you
You're always there for me.

Nick lay the guitar down and Lisa was in his arms. Wrapped around the man she was lucky enough to call her husband. They both held each other crying.

"That was beautiful." Lisa laid her head on Nick's shoulder.

"Baby girl, I mean every word of it. Open your gift?" Lisa had forgotten about the bag.

She removed a box from the bag. Slowly she lifted the lid. Inside lay a set of house keys.

"What in the world have you done Mr. Carter."?

"Well, I know how much you miss being around Cass and with the new tour coming and the kids starting school." He paused.

"OMG" She clasped her hand to her mouth.

"The Cabin next door to Cass and Kevin was for sale, Kevin had checked it out for me a few weeks ago and we closed on it the day you and Cass went shopping. I hope you don't mind."

"NICK CARTER, I love you so much." She grabbed hold and held him tight as she cried. Now her and Cass could be together again. No more lonely days with out Nick or Cass. If only the two of them knew how much Cass would need them in just a few short months.
Chapter 21 by 2liveis2luv
Nick and Lisa returned from they're trip and we began fixing up the cabin that Nick had bought for Lisa. We were so excited that her and the kids would get to be around more often. The boys were scheduled to release a new album in 2009 and they were going to be doing the finishing touches during November and December here in Kentucky.

"Hey Boo."

"Hey darlin, you and Lisa finished fixing up the new Carter domain?"

"Yeah. Boy, I can't believe how much work that place needed. My back is killing me."

"Ahhh poor baby, need a back rub."

"That would be great, but I have to have a shower first. I stink."

"I can help with that too." The sparkle in his eyes getting brighter at the thought.

"Only if you scrub my back?"

"Ok, that can be arranged." We spent the rest of the afternoon making love.

October 2008

"HELLO." I heard Mama Anne's voice echo thru the house.

"In the back, come on in." She walked back to Will's room where I was busy going thru his toys.

"Hey, Kevin anywhere around?"

"Nope, he went flying today."

"Oh, I hope he's careful. It makes me so nervous him doing that."

"I know, me too, but he loves it so much and it's calming for him. I just say a prayer every time he goes."

"Good Idea. Anyway. I didn't know what you had planned for his birthday so I thought I'd come over and see you and the kids."

"GRANDMA!!!" Lexi and Will had seen her from the playroom and came running.

"There are the worlds best grandchildren." She bent down and took them in her arms.

"Hey" Lexi responded.

"Hi, gotta go, I'm beating Lexi at basketball on the playstaion." Will hugged her and took off to the playroom.

"Bye" Lexi followed.

"So about Kev's birthday, you have any plans?" She asked.

"Well, all the guys will be here so I had thought about a bar-b-cue down by the stream?"

"You want to plan something?"

"No, just wandering?"

"Now Mama Anne, you know that if you want to do something for Kevin all you have to do is say so. He's still your son and I respect that?"

"Oh Cass, I know, but he is your husband and you and the kids are his first priority."

"Ok out with it. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was looking thru some old photographs the other day and I saw a picture of a birthday party that Kevin had one year at the camp that Jerald ran, and it just brought back a lot of memories. I was kinda thinking about having a party there?"

"Oh, that would be wonderful and I know that it would be something that Kevin would love. Do you mind if I invited all the guys and their families?"

"That would be wonderful. I was going to fix all his favorites and serve it buffet style."

"That would be great. I will take him shopping for the day and get Jerald and Lacey to keep the kids and on the way back we will make a stop by there for the surprise."

"Oh Cass, thanks so much."

"Anytime, after all, I am eternally grateful to you for giving me such a wonderful man to love."

"Do I hear someone talking about me?" Kevin came into the room. "Hey mama." He hugged Anne.

"Now what in the world would make you think that."? I winked at Mama Anne.

"You said something about the man that you love?" He came in and kissed me on the cheek.

"Oh, I was talking about Tim. It's so nice to have a brother in law that you just fall in love with." I giggled.

"Oh think that's funny huh." He began to tickle me.

"Kevin!" I yelled between laughing. "STOP."
"On that note I'm out of here." Mama Anne turned to leave.

"No mama, don't go." Kevin got up and walked over to stand by his mom.

I sat there watching them talk. You could see the love that they had for each other and just knew that nothing would ever come between them.



"KEVIN SCOTT RICHARDSON!" I yelled from the garage. "If you don't get your butt in this car we are going to be late to your birthday lunch." I had dropped the kids off and everyone else was busy getting Kevin's surprise party together.

"Hey darlin." He had come around behind me and whirled me around in his arms.

"Bout time." I said admiring my husband as I held him tightly. The smell of his cologne igniting a fire deep in the pit of my stomach. "You look good enough to eat." I whispered. He was wearing a pair of jeans that outlined everything with a skintight white shirt that made his tan stand out. His eye glistened.

"Hmmm, wanna have lunch here?" He asked in a husky voice.

"As much as I would like to get you out of those jeans, I am looking forward to today's event's, but keep that thought in mind for later tonight."

"Ok, let's go." He got in the passenger side of the Tahoe and put his sunglasses on. "Where to first?"

We headed out to lunch and enjoyed laughing a talking about the kids, next we hit the mall. Kevin usually got around in Kentucky with out a lot of people bothering him and today was no different. He had two teenage girls ask for his autograph, but other than that we managed to be able to just walk thru the mall holding hands like any other old married couple. I bought him a few new outfits for his birthday along with a new leather jacket. As we walked out of the sun was beginning to set.

"So Mrs. Richardson, how bout we head home and finish our earlier discussion."

"Ok, let's go." We loaded the car. Little did Kevin know that their was still more birthday surprises to come. I began to run my hands along Kevin's leg as we drove along.

"What'cha doing darlin'"

"Just flirting with my man?" I whispered. My hands wandering all over him by now.

"If you keep this up we won't make it home." He leaned over and began kissing my neck.

"Maybe that was my plan?"

"Oh yeah, and just what may I ask is your plan?"

"Well, I always wanted to go skinny dipping with you at the old camp grounds?" Keep in mind this was October, but I knew where Kevin's mind was and knew he wouldn't think twice.

"Well then let's go?" We turned on the old road that led to the camp. When we pulled up everything was dark. We climbed out of the car and met at the front bumper. Kevin taking me in his arms and crushing his lips to mine, I could feel his body responding.

"Easy there stud." I said gently pushing him away. "Remember that story you told me about, the time you caught your mom and dad slow dancing by the fireplace."
"Yeah".

"Wanna recreate a scene?" I began to pull him towards the main hall.

"But I wanna go swimming with you." He said pulling me back into his arms.

"Dance first, swim later." I said pulling him back towards the building. As we got to the door Kevin grabbed me and pulled me to him.

"One dance then we get naked." About the time the words left his mouth the door flew open, the lights came on and all we heard was "SURPRISE!!!" and "KEVIN SCOTT."

His mother had heard what he said just before and stood there staring at him.

"Sorry mama." He whispered into her ear. "But I am a married man." He winked.

"I know, but there are just something's a mother doesn't need to hear. Happy Birthday Baby." She hugged him. He walked around and greeted everyone. Everything was great. We had so much fun especially when the boys played a video they had put together for him. It was a life history of the man known as Kevin. There were baby pictures and pictures of him and his family, him and the boys and then pictures of him with the kids and me. I could feel him wipe at the tears as the movie ended.

"Thanks everyone." He whispered as he stood. "You guys are the best." We helped clean up and began to head home. Jerald and Lacey had decided to let the kids spend the night so Kevin and I drove home in silence.

"You ok boo?" I asked.

"Yeah, just thinking?"
"Bout what?"

"That video, man, it really brought to life how blessed I am. Cass, I couldn't ask for anything more in my life. I've got it all." I watched as a tear slid from his eye.

"Oh boo" I grabbed his hand and brought it my lips. "We are the lucky ones. We get to be part of your life."

"No Cass, I just." He stopped as we parked the car in the garage and he turned to face me.

"Cass, you gotta understand this, I love you so much, my kids, my family, my friends, my life. They have made me who I am. Nothing in this world that anyone could buy or give me could equal all of that." The tears came faster.

"Kevin, we feel the same way about you. That's why we had that party tonight. We wanted to show you how much we loved you. I wish you could have seen and heard the guys talking about the video they were so excited. They talked about how they wouldn't be were they are today without you there to help guide them. Baby, we love you too." We sat and held each other. Silence.

"Hey boo?"
"Yeah darlin." He whispered against my neck.

"Can I get you out of those jeans now?"

"Anything you want."

"First one upstairs wins a free back scrubbing." I jumped out the car. Kevin took off running and was upstairs in the bathroom before I even hit the bedroom.

"I win." He yelled as I came in the bathroom and walked into his arms.

"Nope, I do. Happy Birthday Boo." I pulled him down for a kiss. "I love you."

The holidays came and went so fast. It seemed like the years were just speeding by anymore.

‘Kevin, the guys want to come over on Thursday to listen to the new album. Brian said it was being shipped to us," I hollered at him thru the shower door. That's fine, I'm scheduled to fly that afternoon so tell them to come over about 6:00, and I'll be home by then.

"Ok, I will." I went to the phone and told Brian to call the others and tell them it was ok and we would order in pizzas and make a night of it.

January 30, 2009.

"KEVIN." I sat up screaming in the bed.

"Whoa darlin, what's the matter?" He pulled me into his arms.

"Oh thank god, I had a dream I couldn't find you. I knew that you were out there, but no matter how hard I looked I couldn't find you?"

"It's ok, it was just a dream, I'm right here." His hand stroking my head. "Haven't I told you that I'm never going anywhere."?

"Yeah, it just seemed, I don't know so real."

"Cass, you and the kids are my life, I told you nothing will ever keep me from you." I grabbed him and held him tight.

"Make love to me, please." We made love, it was so intense, and I felt like I couldn't get enough of him.

"Cass, I'm leaving for the airport. I'll be back around 5 or 5:30 ok."

"Bye, boo be careful. I love you." I grabbed hold of him and hugged him tight.

"Cass you ok?" He looked down into my eyes.

"Don't go." A tear fell from my eyes. Kevin reached up cupping my cheek and wiped it away.

"Cass, what's wrong."

"I just have this feeling. Please don't go."

"Cass, I'll be fine. Quit being silly, Ok." He leaned down and kissed me.

"Your right, go have fun, but don't be late."

"I won't. I love ya darlin."

"I love you too boo. You and you alone."

I watched as he walked out the door. Why was my heart telling me to stop him?

"Please God, keep him safe and bring him back to me. Amen"

Previous
Chapter 22 by 2liveis2luv
After I watched Kevin drive out the driveway I decided that it was time to give the house a good cleaning. The kids had gone to spend the day with Mama Anne so I cranked up the stereo and went to cleaning. I was dusting the furniture in our bedroom and lifted our wedding album up and sat it on the bed. I sat down and began thumbing thru the pages remembering that day. God he was so gorgeous, I could remember the way he smiled at me when he first saw me. I remembered the way he held me in his arms as we danced our first dance as husband and wife. At the back of the album I found the index card where Kevin had written his vows.

"Cass, where do I begin? I stand here before you and I remember the very first day we met. You were so cute and innocent and the guys and I couldn't believe that you didn't recognize us. But I think that's what attracted me to you to begin with. You captured my heart that day and you never let it go. Please don't ever let it go Cass. I can't imagine my life with out you in it. You are what makes me wake each morning and why I do what I do. As long as I know that you will be there with me I know that I can do anything. You give me strength when I need it, unfailing love when I don't deserve it and happiness that I never new existed. I am so glad that you agreed to be my wife, but also not only my wife, but my lover and most of all MY BEST FRIEND. No matter where time takes us or where the road leads just know Cass that I will always be here to protect you and love you. "

A tear slid down my cheek as I closed the book and placed it back on the table next to our bed. I walked into the living room and hit play on the CD player, Kevin had left a CD he had made of songs that we listened to when it was just us. I went in the music room to dust. I took my time sitting at the piano wiping it down so that it was shiny. I knew that Kevin loved that piano so much. I ran my fingers over the keys closing my eyes and seeing him playing it that Christmas night when he sang "Safest Place To Hide" for me the first time. I heard the chime of the clock from the other room and realized that it was already 3:30 and the boys were due to get here around 5:30. Kevin said he would be back between 5 and 5:30 so I made one more sweep around the house to make sure that everything was clean and that all the cleaning supplies were put back away. I went to the bathroom and started the shower. I stood there in the bathroom and turned on the CD player. I undressed and stepped into the hot shower. I let the water run over me and I closed my eyes. I began to think about all the showers that Kevin and I had taken. As the water fell over me I could hear the music, all of a sudden I gotten this sudden sickening feeling come over me. I grabbed my chest and tried to catch my breath, I began to cry. Something was wrong, I wasn't sure what it was, but I had this feeling that something was very wrong. I slid down the side of the shower and cried. I'm not sure why I was crying, I sat there just letting the water hit my body, the water began to turn cool. "OK CASS, snap out of it." I said out loud to my self. "NOTHING is wrong get your self together and get back to reality." I washed my hair and was standing under the shower I heard the announcer on the radio say that it was 4:00 pm. I climbed out the shower and wrapped a towel around me and one around my head. A familiar song began to play on the radio. I sang along, as I got dressed. "Show me the meaning of being lonely, is this the feeling I need to walk with."

Kevin's part came up and I closed my eyes and could see him standing on stage singing. "Life goes on as it never ends." I turned the blow dryer on and began to dry my hair.

I was sitting in the bedroom putting on my shoes when I heard the doorbell ring. I turned and glanced at the clock, 5:00. I got up and started towards the front door when I heard a familiar voice.

Hey, Cass. I'm here." Brian hollered out as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey Bri." I walked over and hugged him and turned to go back to the living room. We sat down.

"I thought I would come over a little early and see if Kevin needed any help before the others' got here."
"He's still out, he went flying today. I thought he'd be back by now." That feeling from earlier began to rise back up my body. "Brian, you haven't heard from anyone today have you?"

"What'cha mean Cass." Brian was looking at the folder of music he had brought with him.

"I don't know, I just have this feeling that something's wrong and I can't put my finger on it."

"Your crazy girl." Brian just looked at me and gave me a smile. My heart began to settle. We heard the other's drive up and I met them at the door. One by one the other guys piled in the living room with Brian. It was 5:45 and I still hadn't heard from Kevin.

"I'm going to kick his butt, he's always fussing at us about being on time." Nick laughed.

"I'm gonna go fix some drinks, what do you guys want." I stood to head towards the kitchen.

"I'll have a glass of tea." Howie and Brian said at the same time.

"Coke for me." Nick stood up and walked over to the window looking at the stream.

"Water here." Howie was fiddling with his cell phone.

"Ok, I'll be right back." I was in the kitchen fixing all the drinks and loading them on the trays when I heard mumbling in the living room. I heard the doorbell ring.

"Brian, can you get that?" I picked up the tray and headed back to the living room. I heard Brian answer the door as I stepped into the room.

"Is this the Richardson home?" I heard the gentleman ask Brian.

"Yes, it is, may I help you." I took a step closer to the door. My body starting tensing and my stomach began to churn as Brian stepped back and aloud 3 gentlemen to step into the house. The sound of the door closing behind them was deafening. AJ stood up and walked over to where I was.

"Are you Mrs. Richardson?" The same gentleman spoke again.

"Yes, sir may I help you?" My voice began to shake.

"Maybe you should sit down." He said waving over to the sofa. I knew. I felt it. My hands began to tremble and the tray began to shake. Brian had come to my other side.

"Here Cass, let me help you with that." AJ took the tray and Brian took my arm and led me over to the sofa and sat down beside me. The three gentlemen sat down, but only one spoke. It was as if I was in a daze. I heard the first few words then my world exploded.

"Mrs. Richardson, there is no easy way to say this, but at approximately 3:47 pm this afternoon we received a distress call from your husbands plane, within a matter of minutes we lost site of him on the radar screen. We are so sorry..."

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO..." I began to scream, Brian grabbed at my arm as I stood up and went over to the fireplace.

"Mrs. Richardson, we have search and rescue teams out. So far this is all we have. Do they look familiar?" I watched as he held out his hand. A necklace holding a silver locket key and a ring. The thumb ring that had all our names engraved on it. I remember AJ's arms as my world went black.

I could hear voices, where was I? I opened my eyes and saw the picture on the nightstand; It was Kevin, Will, Lexi and I at Disney. I could smell him. I felt the necklace and ring in my hand. I sat up.

"KEVIN, KEVIN, KEVIN..." I began screaming when the words of that man came back to mind.

"Cass, I'm here." Lisa came in the room and took me in her arms.

"NO, I don't want you, I want Kevin." I pulled away and stood up.

"Cass, now come on settle down, everything's going to be ok. They're still looking, they haven't found anything yet."

"Damn it, they found his necklace and his ring, he never takes them off, how the hell can they miss him." I was crying. Nick came in and stood behind Lisa.

"Come on Cass, that don't mean anything, Kevin told me he always puts the ring on that chain and hangs it in front of him in the plane. He says he likes to look at it while he flies." I stood there listening, but I didn't care. That was what had overcome me in the shower. I felt my heartbreaking.

"Come on Cass, come on out here. Everyone is here for you."
"NO, I DON'T WANT EVERYONE I WANT KEVIN." I continued to scream. Anger building in the pit of my stomach. Brian, AJ, Howie and Mama Anne had come into the room now.

"Cass." Brian began to speak.

"NO BRIAN, DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT. HE PROMISED, HE PROMISED ME HE'D NEVER LEAVE ME, HE PROMISED THAT WE WOULD BE GREY AND OLD SITTING ON THAT PORCH WATCHING OUR GRANDCHILDREN RUNNING AROUND. HE TOLD ME, HE TOLD ME FOREVER..." I collapsed to the floor and began sobbing. I heard Mama Anne speaking softly to the others and then felt her arms around me.

"Cass, honey I know this is hard, but you've got to be strong. Lexi and Will need you to be strong." I could hear her voice cracking as she spoke. "Kevin needs you to be strong, Mr. Ingles said that they were still searching and that there was still a chance that they could find him." She began to sob. We sat there holding each other.

"How do I do it, how do I go on without him. He's my everything."

"That's how I felt about Jerald, but honey you'll find the strength. I promise you'll get through this."

"He just can't be gone."
"Honey, we don't know that he's gone, besides I don't want him gone either, he's my baby, but God has a plan for all of us and if this is his plan for Kevin we can't change that."

"But I need him."

"And the kids need you." That's when it hit me.


"Oh God, do they know?"

"No, Jerald and Lacey have them at their house and they are making sure that they are not made aware of anything until they have to be told."

"Oh thank you." We sat there for a while more crying.

"I want to freshen my face and I'll be right out." We stood; I turned to go towards the bathroom.

"Ok, honey, I'll let everyone know."

"Who's all here." I turned back to look at her.

"The boys and their wives, Tim, Jackie and Harold. The boys called their manager and they have gotten in touch with the authorities and no names are being released, and Cass, I won't believe he's gone, till they tell me he is and you need to do the same thing."

"Ok." I turned and headed back into the bathroom. I stepped in the bathroom shutting the door behind me and walked over to the counter. I stood there staring in the mirror, slowly my gaze fell downward, and my body began to tremble. His cologne, his hairbrush, and toothbrush, Tears slid down my cheek. The bottle of bubble bath he always used when he would draw me a tub. I gripped hold of the counter. Quickly I turned and began pacing the floor, all the while talking to myself.

"No, he's not gone, there're crazy. Kevin would never leave the kids, or me he promised. He told me forever." I stopped when I saw his shirt on the floor. It must have fallen behind the door when I was cleaning. I bent down and brought it up to my face I could still smell him. He had worn that shirt this morning. This morning, oh god. We had woke up wrapped in each other's arms. As he turned to wish me a good morning I felt his hand graze my stomach we welcomed the sunrise by making love.

"NO, NO, NO...." I grabbed the shirt and ran out of the bathroom. I ran thru the living room and out the front door past all of our family and friends. I could hear them calling behind me. Tears blurred my vision, but I knew where I had to go. My legs threatened to give way as I ran as hard as I could. I stopped and collapsed to my knees next to Scottie's grave. I held his shirt next to my chest and looked up at the willow branches. The breeze was blowing gently.

"Please God." I cried out. "Please bring him back to me. I can't do this without him."

"KEVIN!!" I screamed. "You can't leave me, you promised me you'd always be here, and you told me you'd never leave. Please boo, I can't." I fell over holding the shirt and cried. I could hear footsteps coming up from behind me. I didn't care. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to breath. I just wanted Kevin.

"Cass." I heard Lisa whisper. I just lay there clutching his shirt.

"Cass, honey, please."
"PLEASE WHAT LISA?" I sat up and stared at here. I could tell she had been crying and I didn't want to yell at her, but what was I supposed to say or do.

"Cass, honey, please come back to the house. Everyone is worried about you."

"I can't Lisa, I can't go back in that house. How do I face everyone? I can't take it. I can't breath in there. Lisa, OH GOD!" I pulled his shirt tighter to me and began to sob. Lisa sank down beside me and took me in her arms. "Lis, he can't be gone. I can't live without him."

"Oh honey, it's all going to be ok. Nick said that they are still searching."

"Lisa, my heart says not to give up. It hurts so badly. Lisa he's everything to me. How do I tell Lexi and Will? How do they go on with out him? Kevin and I were a lot older when we lost our dad's and it's been the hardest thing to deal with. How will they understand at such a young age? I mean, who's going to be there to show Will all the things a dad shows his son. OH GOD LISA, who's going to walk Lexi down the aisle, I can't Lisa, I just can't do this."

"Yes you can Cass, and we are all here to help you."
"Yeah, but you have your own lives, what happens later down the road."

"DAMN IT CASS. We are family and we will always be family. Nick, Brian, Leighanne, Howie, Susie, AJ & Cierra, all the kids, and me we are all here for you and will always be here for you. We don't just come around because of Kevin you know. " Lisa stood up and was towering over me.

"NOW get you butt up and get to that house right now. You know that Kevin would not approve of you acting like this. We are not; I AM not going to let you give up hope yet. We all love Kevin and I know that none of us will ever know what you are feeling, but we have all got to stick together and pray that he is safe and will be returned to us." I could see tears welling up in her eyes. "At least until we have to think otherwise, DO YOU HEAR ME!!!" Her last words stung.

She was right. Kevin would never forgive me for acting like this. I had to believe that he was ok and that he would come back to me, to us. Until someone told us otherwise. I felt something sticking in my hip and I reached in my pocket. There was the necklace and ring that Mr. Ingles had given to me right before I fainted. I reached up and locked the necklace around my neck and placed his ring on my finger. At least I had that to hold onto for now. I stood up and grabbed Lisa pulling her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have behaved like this, your right, I have to keep hope alive that they will find him."
"Oh Cass, you don't have to apologize; I would probably do the same thing if it were Nick. Now let's get you in the house and wait for that handsome man of yours to show up. And when he does, boy is he in big trouble." We smiled and headed back towards the cabin to wait for news. Even though we both knew in our hearts that we might have to face reality soon.

As I walked in the door I could see the faces of all the others. They were holding each other and crying. I could tell that Brian was having a hard time. I went and sat down next to him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. We both held each other and cried. A few minutes passed and I stood up from the couch and walked over to the bookshelf and took down the picture of Kevin. Clasping it to my chest I turned and faced the room full of people.

"Ok, first of all I want to tell all of you how sorry I am for the way that I acted. Someone has made me realize that I have given up to quickly. Those people don't know our Kevin and he's too bull headed to be gone." A slight smile crossed the lips of those in the room. It has always been a running joke that Kevin would never die because Heaven didn't want him and Hell was afraid he would take over.

"So Brian, would you mind leading us all in a prayer that Kevin is brought home to us safely." We all stood holding hands. Brian prayed

"Now, what's the latest news?"
"We had a call about an hour ago that there was still no sign of him anywhere. They have loaded up all the wreckage and they are hauling it back to the airport so that the authorities can find out what may have caused the crash. Search and rescue will continue until he is found." All the ladies took turns getting snacks and drinks as the night wore on. The boys all paced around. They would try to watch T.V. but something would always remind them of what was going on and they would turn it back off. Tim decided to go check on the kids over at Jerald's and fill Jerald and Tracey in on what was going on. The other boys decided to head into Kevin's studio and listen to the album. All of us knew that they just needed time alone so we let them go.

We all sat around talking about the kids and what was going on in our lives. Mama Anne decided around midnight to go home and try to get some rest. Mr. Ingles had kept his promise and was updating us every few hours every time the phone rang my heart would jump into my throat. How long would it take? Why couldn't they find him? Part of me wanted to go help them look, but I knew my place was there waiting for him.

Days passed. I was growing more and more anxious with no new news being given. It was always the same thing. They either had gotten a new lead or lost the trail they were on. I began to grow more and more frustrated. All the boys and their wives were so great. One of them was either coming by the house to bring food or just stopping in to talk. We had told Lexi and Will that their dad had gone to California to check on the other house and that he would be back soon. This helped alleviate some of their questions. I could tell that Lexi wasn't buying the whole story but she seemed content with the answer's she was given.

I would spend my days cleaning or going thru the closet's to clean them out. I took rides on the horses thru the trails. Everywhere I went, I could see him. I could hear him. Nights I would cry myself to sleep holding his pillow. The week drug on and so did the rescue efforts. It was Friday the 8th of February and my heart was beginning to believe that Kevin wouldn't return. Brian was coming over that day to help me move the bedroom furniture around; I wanted it facing the window so that I could see the stream when I awoke in the morning. The kids had gone over to Nick and Lisa's to play with the twins.

"CASS." I heard Brian yell from the front door.

"Back here Bri." I hollered from the bedroom

"How are you?" He asked toeing the edge of the doorframe.

"Ok, you know. I guess part of me is starting to accept he may be gone."

"Don't you give up Cass!" his body tensed as he spoke.

"I'm not giving up, but let's face it, it's been 8 days. If he was alive they would have found him and he'd be here with me right now." I turned to look out the window.

"Cass, you know that Kevin love's you more than anything." I heard Brian's voice quiver.

"Yeah, and I love him more than anything. Bri, I'll never love anyone more than I love him, But I have to think of the kids. They can't keep going on like this."

"I know, it's just that well, I know that if Kevin is alive he'll find a way back to you."

"Brian, none of us want to admit that he's gone, but we have to move on." I wiped at a tear as it fell down my cheek.

"Cass, Kevin once told me that death itself wouldn't keep him from you. Just hold on for a little while longer?" I turned and saw the tears in his eyes.

"Bri, I'll hold on forever if it will bring him back to me." He was across the room and hugging me before the first sob escaped. We stood holding each other and crying. Slowly we released each other and began wiping at the tears.

"Ok, so let's mover this furniture." Just as the words left his mouth the phone rang.

"Hello." I answered the cordless phone on the nightstand next to the bed.

"This is she." Brian could only hear my answers.

"Yes sir. I understand. No sir. Yes sir, but. Yes sir. Thank you for everything." I hung up the phone and turned to face Brian.

"Who was that Cass."? I tried to speak, but couldn't.

"Cass?" He took a step towards me. Again, no words would come.

"Cass, damn it, your scaring me. Who was that?" As the words escaped my mouth I fell to my knees.

"He's gone, Oh God Brian, he's gone." Brian was in front of me holding me and crying as he realized what I was saying.

"They've called off the search. They are officially declaring him dead."

We sat there holding each other for what seemed like hours. Neither of us knowing what to do or say next. He stood and pulled me to my feet.

"I can't Brian, I can't say goodbye to him."
"It's ok Cass, we'll get thru this."

"No Brian, I can't. OH MY GOD." I screamed as the reality of what had been said hit my head and heart at the same time. I grabbed the blanket on the bed and ripped it off sending it flying across the room. I picked up a pillow and threw it. I began screaming and yelling. Everything within me was going crazy. I wanted to destroy everything around me. Throw things, hit things. "OH MY GOD, I'VE LOST HIM BRIAN, I'VE LOST HIM." I collapsed on the bed and sobbed until I fell asleep. I could feel Brian smoothing my hair and I heard him making the phone calls to tell everyone. I knew that I should have been the one to do that, but how. How could I go on without the love of my life, my husband, lover and best friend? All I could think was how do I take the next breath?
Chapter 23 by 2liveis2luv
Saturday February 9, 2009


Last night had been so crazy. As soon as Brian had made the phone call everyone bombarded the house. I knew that my first priority was to get to my kids. They were going to have to be told and I wasn't going to let anyone else do it but me. Jerald and Tracy arrived around 7:30 pm. Lexi and Will came in and I just dropped to my knees and pulled them to me. I could see so much of Kevin in them both. Lexi with her dark hair and emerald green eyes, Will, he looked just like Kevin's baby pictures.

"Mama." Lexi quietly spoke. "What's wrong, why is everyone here?"

I stood and led them to the couch. I pulled them into my lap and took a deep breath. Mama Anne came and sat down next to us. How do I start? What do I say?

"Lexi, Will. You know that your daddy loves you very much, right?"

They both shook their heads.

"You know that your daddy would never do anything to hurt either of you right?"
Again they nodded. Lexi's lip began to tremble.

"Mommy, where's my daddy?" A tear escaped her eye as she scanned the room, looking at everyone, but not finding Kevin.

"Daddy's in California Lex, remember mama said so." Will puffed his chest feeling proud about answering the question his big sister had asked.

"Shut up Will, I didn't ask you?" Lexi turned and stared at Will.

"Now Lexi, that's not nice. Your right Will, I did tell you that daddy was in California. I'm so sorry." A tear fell from my eyes. "I'm so sorry I lied to you both, but mommy has some very sad news. See, Daddy went flying the other day, the day you went to Jerald and Tracey's."

"Yeah, he said that I could ride my pony when he got back." Lexi crossed her arms in front of her chest as she realized the promise that had been broken.
"Now Lexi, you know that your daddy would never break a promise to you without a good reason, right?" she nodded. "Baby, there was an accident, daddy's plane crashed."

I saw the fear in both of their eyes before the tears began.

"WHERE'S MY DADDY!" Lexi screamed thru the tears. Will just covered his eyes and cried falling into Mama Anne's arms.

"Lexi, settle down." I tried to hold her.

‘NO, WHERE'S MY DADDY!!!" Again she screamed and hopped from my lap placing her hands on her hips and staring at me.

"Lexi, baby, I'm sorry, they couldn't find daddy." I whispered.

"Is he dead?" Will looked up and asked in a scared voice.

"DON'T YOU SAY THAT WILL, YOUR JUST STUPID, DON'T YOU SAY THAT, MY DADDY IS NOT DEAD." Lexi began to run around the room going to everyone standing there.



"Uncle Brian, please you gotta find my daddy." Brian's tears falling, knowing he couldn't help her.

"Uncle Nick, Please." I stood to go to Lexi.

"No mama, NO. Uncle Alex, Uncle Howie." Lexi pleaded with each one. I took her in my arms as she broke down.

"No mama, no. He can't be dead. He told me I could ride my pony." Hours passed as she cried and pleaded with everyone to help. Will just stayed in Mama Anne's lap holding her and crying. Finally Lexi and Will fell asleep. Nick and Brian helped carry them to their rooms. I just sat on the couch surrounded by everyone not knowing what to do next.

"Cass." Mama Anne spoke first. "Honey, you need to get some rest."

"I can't, I can't go back in that room." I sat numb not knowing where the future would lead, what was I supposed to do or say. We had people to tell, the public had to be told.

I knew then that it was time to snap to and handle things for Kevin. He would want me to be strong and make sure that everyone was taken care of.
"Mama Anne?"

"Yes Cass?"
"I would like for you to go with me tomorrow, I'll need to go to the police station and sign the papers they have, then I need to go to the funeral home and make arrangements."
"But Cass." She began.

"I know, but I want a memorial service for him. Here at the stream. I will have a marker put next to Scottie's. I sure that's what Kevin would want. Brian, I need you to call the managers and get them on board. I want Sarah Campbell here. I will call her myself. We will do a press conference on the 12th and a memorial on the 14th. That gives us enough time to arrange everything. Nick, Howie, Alex and Brian, I would like for you to be with me at the press conference. They need to see you boys and Brian, I would like it if you would read a statement. I will not answer any questions but I will have a statement prepared."

"Cass, honey." Mama Anne stood.

"No, I only want the immediate family here for the memorial. No press, no outsiders, no management or producers. NO ONE." My voice emphasizing my last request.

"Cass, honey, you've got to get some rest." I heard Lisa speak.

"Lisa, I know that you are concerned." I turned to look at everyone. "That all of you are concerned and I appreciate it, but I have to do this for Kevin. He deserves to be remembered and I'm going to give him that. I'll rest afterwards. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time. I mean." I began to sob. "It's not like, like I'll be going on tour, or going to California to see him perform, or go with him to Orlando to take a break at the other house." My crying became uncontrollable as I thought about all the things we'd never do again. I slid to the floor. I felt arms wrap around me and we all cried. Nothing was going to be the same without Kevin.

Cierra brought me a cup of tea and we all continued talking into the night about what needed to be done. Brian and Leighanne asked if they could stay the night with me to help with Will and Lexi. Tyler was staying with Jackie and Harold. Brian was going to lock up and I headed to our bedroom to try and get some sleep.

As I walked thru the door I felt a sense of total loneliness, I closed the door behind me. I slowly walked to the dresser and reached for my pajamas when I saw Kevin's shirt in on the chaise lounge. I grabbed it and a pair of his boxers and went to the bathroom to get a shower. As I stood in the shower I let all my emotions go. I cried for Lexi and Will, how would they ever know what a wonderful man and father Kevin was. I cried for the loss I was feeling. I knew I would never love again the way I loved Kevin. I had given everything to him. I knew I had nothing left to give. I climbed out of the shower and dried off. I pulled his shirt over my head taking in his scent. I ran a brush thru my hair and turned out the light heading back into the bedroom. I crawled into the bed, that bed. The one that we spent our first night in as husband and wife, the one I gave myself to Kevin completely, where we spent all of quite time, where we made love, where Lexi and Will would come in and snuggle with us. It would never be a happy place for me again. I pulled his pillow to my chest and rested against the headboard. I could see the moonlight reflecting off the stream and the breeze rustling the branches of the willow. Our place, the place we would always find each other.

February 12, 2009

An MTV camera crew has been set up inside one of the private boardrooms at St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington, KY. Sarah Campbell is so apprehensive and saddened by the topic of the interview she is about to hold. She has been granted the sole rights to the story, but she knows it's not a story that will bring joy to anyone, however it must be told........."Good Morning, I'm Sarah Campbell with MTV, reporting live from St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington Kentucky. I am here today with 4 member of the Backstreet Boys and Cassidy Richardson wife of Kevin Richardson." The camera panned around showing everyone at the table. "I was contacted late yesterday by Cassidy Richardson asking that she be allowed to make and announcement and answer some questions for us today. Cassidy, if you would."

" Thank you Sarah, Brian?" Cassidy turned to her left where Brian sat; she knew she had to be strong, so many were counting on her. Kevin needed her to do this and she was not going to let him down. She knew how much Kevin loved his fans and this was something that had to be done, they deserved it.

"I will begin with a statement from the Richardson and Backstreet Family." Brian began; tears began to fill Cass's eyes.

"It is with deepest sadness that we are here today to announce the passing of Kevin Scott Richardson. On January 30, 2009 the plane being piloted by Mr. Richardson went down near the Cumberland Mountains, on the Eastern Edges of Kentucky. Mr. Richardson was the only passenger in the plane. Search and rescue crews have searched the area and have found no sign of survival. Mr. Richardson leaves behind a wife Cassidy, a daughter Alexandria and a son William, as well as his mother, brothers and the 4 members of the Backstreet Boys whom he considered his family. We ask that the fans respect the privacy of the family and allow them time to grieve. A memorial website will be set up by Jive Records for anyone wishing to extend their sympathy to the family. Kevin loved all of his fans and will be truly missed. Thank You." Brian folded the piece of paper and placed it in front of him as he took Cass's hand in his. You could see the tears in everyone's eyes as the room became silent.

"Cass, have arrangement's been made".

"Yes, we will be holding a private ceremony in Kentucky on February 14, attended by immediate family members only.

"Cass, I just want to say from all of us at MTV how truly we sorry are for your loss. Kevin will be greatly missed." A video clip of Kevin thru the years played along with Never Gone.

We went back to the cabin, everyone was waiting on us and we were going to watch the rerun of the news conference together. We all thought that it had gone perfectly and the news reports started flying. The radio stations began playing memorial songs and taking calls from fans. The boy's cell phones began to ring as well as our house phone. People offering their condolences and asking if there was anything they could do. The boys handled the calls for me. I just wasn't ready to talk to a lot of people.

Thursday February 14, 2009


"Well boo, Happy Valentines Day." I said sitting on our bed holding the framed picture of him, the one that would be placed on the table during the memorial service. We had decided to hold a service at the church and then come back for a private ceremony at the stream. "I can't believe in a few hours I'd have to say goodbye. But you must know that it's not really goodbye, not for me." I traced his face in the frame, I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

"Cass, it's time the cars here." Mama Anne came and stood beside me.

"How do I do this?" I said, looking up into her tear filled eyes.

"One second at a time honey." I stood and we hugged.

The service at the church was beautiful. There were so many flowers and the boys sang. I'm not sure where they found the strength, but I really felt they wanted to honor Kevin this way. They all broke down in the arms of their spouses when the retook their seats. Lexi and Will sat between Mama Anne and me. There were fans everywhere outside the church. They didn't yell or scream and didn't try to interfere in the service. They stood silently holding posters with Kevin's pictures on it; some held candles other's held things that meant something to Kevin. I was comforted to see them missing him and wanting to share their sadness with ours. I wanted to speak to them and tell them that Kevin would have appreciated their kindness and concern, but I couldn't' speak. The car ride back to the house was so quiet. I sat holding my two children, staring out the window. I thought back to the first time Kevin brought me to Kentucky. Boy how my life had changed. This was now home, no more fears of being here, now only the fear of being here without him. Slowly the cars made their way towards the stream. As we pulled thru the gate I stared out the front window. I could see the willow tree standing tall and shading the place where we would say goodbye. My mind flashed back to the day we got married. I could see him standing there smiling at me. At least that memory would help overshadow the sorrow. We all gathered around the willow. There next to Scotties was a new marker. One I had hoped I would never see. Kevin Scott Richardson, October 3, 1971-January 30, 2009. Beloved Husband, Father, Son and Brother, Forever Remembered, Forever Missed, and Forever Loved.

The minister said such beautiful words. Speaking of heaven and how blessed we were to have had Kevin in our lives. Each one of the boys took time to speak of Kevin and how much they would miss him. Tim and Jerald both spoke and then Mama Anne, then it was my turn.

"Well, I'm not going to stand here and tell you all that this is goodbye, I will never say goodbye to Kevin. He was the love of my life, my everything, I'm not sure how I will go on with out him here beside me, but I know that he is here." I placed my hand on my heart. "He will always be here, he told me so. His memory cannot be replaced nor do I want it replaced. He taught me what it was like to truly be loved. He was my everything, so there will be no goodbyes, only a recommitment to him." I turned and knelt by the stone, I took the necklace and ring and placed it at the foot of the stone. "Always yours boo, yours and yours alone." I kissed my hand and placed it on the stone. A prayer was said and we walked back towards the house.

AJ, Cierra, Brian and Leighanne were all staying the night at the house and Nick, Lisa, Howie and Susie went back to Nick and Lisa's. As we said our goodnights I went to make sure that the kids were tucked in bed. Lexi had put the CD Kevin had made her on to play; Kevin's piano solo was playing.

"I miss hearing daddy play." She said as she saw me in the doorway. Will was asleep. I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"I do too Lex. But you'll always have a piece of daddy right here." I placed my hand on her heart.

"And you will to." She said placing hers on mine. "I love you mommy." She said reaching up to hug me.

"I love you too princess." I got up and walked out pulling the door behind me and falling back to the door. I felt a tear run down my face and then I heard it.

That voice. His laughter.

"KEVIN." I ran towards the sound. As I approached the music room I could hear him. My heart was pounding so hard. I threw the door open.

"CASS." Brian jumped and turned when he heard the door.

"Brian?" I stood there staring at the T.V. the video of Kevin playing; it was one that they had put together for his birthday.

"Cass, I'm so sorry." He stood up.

"It's ok Brian, it's just I thought." I put my hands on my chest. The pain was killing me.

"Cass, I just." He stopped.

"I know Bri, it's hard. I can't believe I'll never hear his voice again, or feel his touch. I'll never get to hear him call me darlin' or Lexi princess or Will caboose. I know Brian, I know." We embraced each other.

"I'll turn it off." He said as he reached for the remote.

"No, can I watch it with you?" He nodded and we sat holding each other watching the life of Kevin, but only bits and pieces. "That's when I told Brian my idea of having this interview with you today Sarah."

As we sat and watched, memories flooded my mind. I loved seeing Kevin and the kids. If anything I knew we would have these memories to look back on. The video ended with a family picture that we had taken by the stream. Kevin was sitting next to the willow with me sitting next to him and Lexi and Will in our laps. I stood and walked over to the TV and began to trace Kevin's face on the screen. Brian mashed pause on the remote, I heard movement behind me, I could hear breathing behind me.

"You know Brian, I never knew that this kind of love existed, but it does, and I was blessed enough to have him for these last 8 years. What did I do Brian? What did I do to deserve the chance to have him in my life?"

"You loved me Cass, you just loved me."
Chapter 24 by 2liveis2luv
My heart froze. "Brian?"

"No darlin." I couldn't turn around. What if I'm dreaming, tears began to run down my face.

"Please don't let me be dreaming?" I whispered

"If you are then I don't want you to wake up." I knew. My body slowly turned.

There he was, those green eyes, those arms that knew how to hold me, that body that fit perfectly with mine.

"OH GOD, KEVIN!" I felt him grab me as I collapsed. My arms went around his neck. All I could do was hold him. He felt so good in my arms.

"WOOAAHH" Sarah sat up in the chair and looked at me.

"What's the matter Sarah?" I giggled.

"Are you telling me?" She placed a hand over her mouth.

"Yes Sarah, Kevin is alive and back home where he belongs."

"Oh lord." A tear escaped her eye.

"I know, and that's why were glad that you were already scheduled to do this interview today. We couldn't think of any better way to tell everyone that Kevin was alive and well than to tell the whole story, and we wouldn't have told it to anyone other than you."

"Oh Cass, this is wonderful news, I'm so thrilled for you."

"Thanks Sarah, this is the only thing I could have ever wanted and well, what can I say I do believe in miracles now."

"So where's Kevin now?"

"Oh, he's sleeping, it was a long night, but he'll be down soon. He wants to see you."

"I bet it was a long night." She half whispered as she giggled.

"I'll never tell." I grinned. "Now do you want to hear the rest, or do you think we should stop here."

"Oh no, please finish."

"Ok, Anyway."

All I could do was hold him. He felt so good in my arms.

"But how, oh boo, Oh god, I thought I lost you." My words coming out choked as I tried to calm my crying.

"Oh Cass, darlin, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He just held me and we cried and kissed each other. I buried my head in his chest, as I opened my eyes I could see Brian standing there, just staring.

"Brian." I whispered and Kevin turned to look at his cousin standing there, still in shock.

"Hey, B-rok, wassup?" Brian still unable to speak stepped towards Kevin. "It's ok man." Kevin grabbed Brian and brought him into the hug we were sharing. Brian's body began to shake and finally he spoke.

"Thank God you're alive. Kevin, how, where have you been? Why couldn't they find you?"

"I know you have questions and Brian, I want to answer every one, but first I need to see my kids. Can you call everyone and tell them to come over. Don't tell them why; just tell them to get here now." Brian nodded and headed towards the door, he turned around to glance back at Kevin. We heard him as he walked out. "Thank you God, Thank you."

"Oh boo, I can't believe you're here." My hands moved over his shoulders, I traced every inch of him. Then I noticed the bandages. "Are you ok?" I asked.

"I am now that I'm back home. I'm so sorry Cass. Let's go to the bedroom so I can change and I'll tell you the whole story ok?" I just nodded as he took my hand and led me to our room. I sat on the edge of the bed as he undressed. I saw bandages on his hands and chest. There was a cast on his right foot. As he dressed he told me what had happened.

"Cass, it was so unreal. I mean I was flying along, just enjoying the scenery I had your necklace with my thumb ring on it in my hand. I was thinking about you and the kids and the future. I mean, with the tour coming, I realized that we would be apart again. I wanted to clear my head and figure out what I should do. Then all of a sudden the engines just shut off. I tried and tried to get them restarted but they just wouldn't. I got so scared, all I could think about were you and the kids; I couldn't let this happen, I had to get back to you and to them. I noticed a clearing below and began to guide the plane towards it. It was so hard to steer but somehow I managed to get it angled just right. When it hit I remember feeling the pain shoot thru my body and I was flung out. I landed in this patch of bushes. I just lay there for what seemed like forever. I just wanted to close my eyes. I hurt so badly." He pulled his shorts on and then his t-shirt and walked over to the bed and sat up to the headboard pulling me with him. God it felt good to be in his arms again.

"I got up and forced myself to begin walking towards what I thought was the highway. My ankle hurt so much. I kept walking then it got dark so I got some branches and made a make shift shelter under one of the rock formations. I feel asleep thinking that I could forget the pain. I'm not sure how long I was there, but when I woke up I knew that I had to get out of there. I began walking again. Cass, I walked for days. I just knew that I had to keep moving, I had to get back here." I could hear his voice cracking.

"Oh boo, I'm sorry, they looked for you, and they kept thinking they would find you."

"I know, but I was headed in the wrong direction. I wandered out there for days, from what I can gather from the news reports I heard this morning, I must have wandered until late Tuesday night or yesterday morning, I found berries to eat and a stream runs through there so I had water. I just kept following the stream I new that it would have to lead to somewhere. I must have blacked out because the next thing I remember was waking up in the back of this pick-up truck. This man and his wife, Tom and Debbie Jacobs, they had been hiking and seen me lying by the stream. They took me to the to the hospital. I was there yesterday, that's how I found out what was going on. I saw the interview on MTV. Cass, I'm so sorry you had to do that. It broke my heart to see the guys up there, but I wanted to die just seeing the pain on your face, Cass I don't want you to ever have to do anything like that again. I'll do anything to keep you from ever experiencing that much pain again, I'm so sorry."

"Kevin, why didn't you call me from the Hospital?"

"Well, I was going to, but they had to reset my ankle and game me something for the pain, so I drifted in and out.

I couldn't stay awake long enough to even tell them who to call. This morning I demanded that they release me and I called a cab. I knew you would be at the service and figured that none of you would have a cell with you or that you would be taking any calls here at the house. I didn't think we would ever get here. All the lights were off and I knew that you probably were all asleep, I went to the stream, I was so scared to come in here. I know that you all have been so upset and Cass I can never make that up to any of you, but darlin I promise I will never do anything like this again. I'm giving up flying for good. I can't risk leaving you or the kids again." He was crying as he talked.

"When I saw you standing in front of the T.V. tonight I fell in love with you all over again. God Cass, I can't believe that I almost lost you."

"I almost lost you?" I corrected. "Kevin, I didn't know how I was going to make it, I didn't know what to do next. God, I didn't even think I would breathe again. Thank you for coming back to me." His lips crashed down on mine as he pulled my body on his.

"Kevin I want you so bad. I've missed you so much. But not now." I pulled away.

"I want you to darlin, and I promise as soon as we are alone again I'm going to show you just how much, but your right. I need to see my babies. Wanna help a cripple up the stairs." We giggled as we headed out the door. Our hands never letting go of the others. As we came into the living room we saw Brian standing next to the fireplace.

"I called everyone, they're a little mad about getting woke up, but they are all on the way."
"Thanks cuz." Kevin whispered. I could tell he was fighting the need to cry. "We're going up to see the kid's." Brian just nodded as we headed up the stairs.

As we got to Lexi's door Kevin took a deep breathe. Slowly he opened the door and walked over by her bed. I just stood there watching the whole thing.

"Hey princess." He whispered. I could see Lexi's eyes open.

"Daddy?" she asked in almost a whisper.

"Yeah princess it's me." She leapt into Kevin's arms her sobs could be heard all over the house.

"Shhh baby girl. It's ok, daddy's here."

"But daddy, they said, they said." Again her tears over took her ability to speak.

"I know, but I'm here Lexi and I promise that daddy will never leave you again."

"You promise." She looked into his eyes.

"Cross my heart." He made an x over his heart. "And sealed with a kiss." He kissed her on her forehead.

"Oh daddy, I'm so glad your back. I was so sad. I love you so much." Her little arms locked around his neck.

"Me too princess, me too... I love you more than you'll ever know. Now let's go get Will. Ok?"

"Ok, daddy." She jumped out of bed and grabbed Kevin by the hand and began to pull him towards Will's bedroom.

"Whoa there, I can't walk quite that fast, I got a better idea." He bent down and swept her up into his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and held on with all her might.

We crept into Will's room and Kevin put Lexi down as he leaned over Will's bed.

"Hey there caboose." The boys had nicknamed Will that a few years ago.

"Hi daddy." Will answered and then rolled back over to sleep. Kevin turned and looked at me.

"Well he is his father's son." We both laughed.

"DADDY." Will turned back over when he realized what was going on. He sat up and held his arms out for Kevin. He picked him up and they stood there hugging. I caught a glimmer of light in the tears on Kevin's face.

"Hey buddy." He whispered.

"Mommy said you were gone daddy, she said you died."

"Well, mommy thought I had. The police had told her that. But I'm not buddy."

"See Will I told you you were wrong." Lexi stuck her tongue out at Will.

"Hey now you two." Kevin walked over to the rocking chair in Will's room and pulled both the kids into his lap.

"Do either of you know how much I love you?" He spoke softly to both of them.

"We love you too." Lexi answered.

‘Well, I promise you from now on, you'll never have to worry about me going away again. I finally know where I need to be and that's here with you two and your mom. From now on there's no more going alone, we're either together or we don't go. Ok." They both nodded. "Well, everyone is coming over so they can all find out the good news, but you two need to get back to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I promised someone a pony ride. How does that sound?"

"Oh daddy, you remembered." Lexi hugged him.

"Of course, I'll always remember my promises to you."

"Daddy will you tuck me in?" Will stretched and yawned as Kevin lifted him and tucked him back into his bed.

"Ok princess, on you go and I will carry you back to your room." Kevin squatted down and let Lexi climb up on his back. I silently watched the interchange between father and child and it made my heart fill with so much joy.

"Good night Princess." Kevin kissed her and headed back toward the door.

"Night daddy. I love you, thank you for coming back."

"Anytime princess, anytime." He pulled her door too and grabbed me. He stood there crying and holding me. I just let him hold on until he was ready to let go.

"God Cass, I can't believe how amazing they are. I'm so glad I still get to be in their lives, I would have missed them so much."

"They would have missed you too boo. I hear voices downstairs, you ready?" He quickly kissed me and turned back towards the staircase.

"Ok B-rok, what's the deal? It's freaking 11:00 pm at night and you call and wake us up to get our butts over here. What's going on?" Nick spoke first. I could see Lisa and Howie and Susie standing up behind Nick.

"Yeah man, what's up? Why the wake up call?" AJ chimed in standing next to Cierra who was sitting next to Leighanne on the couch. Kevin and I were standing at the top of the stairs looking down when Brian spoke.

"He's what's up." Brian pointed towards the staircase.

"Oh my god." AJ sank to the couch next to Cierra and his hand went to his moth.

"Holy Crap." Nick stood there starring.

Howie couldn't speak; he just stood there pointing.

"Hey Guys, wassup, good to see ya." Kevin said as he began to hobble back down the stairs. They all starred in amazement as Kevin and I came into the room. Kevin walked over to Nick and Howie and grabbed them both into a hug. Tears began to fall from everyone in the room as the magnitude of what was happening hit them. The three men released from their embrace as Kevin walked around the couch and held out his hand to AJ.

"Hey bone." AJ was up in Kevin's arms before any more words were spoken. I could see Kevin beginning to wince.

"Boo, you need to sit down. Did they give you anything for pain?"

‘Yeah, it's in that bag in the kitchen."

"I'll get it, anyone else want anything while I'm up?" No one spoke; they all just sat there starring at Kevin.

"Ok, then I'll be right back. Prop up that foot in the recliner." I went into the kitchen and grabbed his favorite glass and filled it with tea. I reached for the bag and began to pull out the items inside. Tears filled my eyes as I pulled out the clothing he had been wearing. The material torn and dirty, I could see dried blood on the arms and chest of the shirt and on the pants leg. I turned around and threw them in the garbage. I didn't want to be reminded of what could have been. I found his pain medicine in the bag and went back out to the living room. Kevin had just finished his story of what had happened. Nick, AJ, Brian and Cierra were all standing at the back of the couch; you couldn't see Kevin thru the wall of people. Lisa, Leighanne and Howie and Susie were all sitting there entranced in the story Kevin was telling. I gave Kevin his tea and meds and watched as he swallowed the tiny pill. He reached out and pulled me down to sit on the arm of the recliner. I heard the front door open and stood to see who it was.

"Brian Thomas Littrell, what in the world is so important that you had to drag your aunt out in the middle of the night?" Kevin stood up quickly and headed towards the door. Anne was busy looking at Brian and didn't notice him step around the back of the couch.

"Umm, That would be my fault mama, I had him...." Before he could say anymore Anne had turned and saw her son standing before her.

"OH MY LORD," her hands flew up to her chest. "Is it really.."

"Yeah mama, it's me." He had stepped up to her; he gently reached out and took her hands in his. She immediately reached out and grabbed hold of him pulling him into her arms.

"Oh my baby. Oh you're alive. I just knew in my heart your weren't really gone." Her tears falling freely as she held on to Kevin.

"It's ok mama, I'm here." Just as Kevin spoke Tim and Jerald came thru the door.

They both stopped dead in their tracks when they saw their mother and brother.

"OH man." They echoed each other. They exchanged hugs with Kevin and then allowed him to go sit back down to prop his foot. I returned to my position on the arm of the chair. Kevin filled his mom and brothers in on what happened.

"Well, we'll have to make a statement to the press." Howie finally spoke.

"I think I know how to handle that." I spoke up. I told them my idea and they all agreed.

"Hey Sarah." A voice came from behind the chair Sarah had been sitting in, a voice she'd recognize anywhere.

"OMG, Kevin. I'm so glad you're alive and Ok." They exchanged a hug and Kevin came to sit next to me on the sofa. All the other boys had left sometime after the story began so it was just the three of us left.

"Well, Sarah, you enjoying the story of Kevin and Cass so far?"

"Yeah, but I never would have believed the ending if you weren't here in front of me."

"Well, I couldn't have the little woman out here on cameral all by herself all day, besides it is my story to?"
"So you have something to add then do you Mr. Richardson?"
"Well...."

We watched as Sarah drove away. She was on her way back to the home office to edit the story and get it ready to run. It would be on the 5:00 pm show announcing to the world that we had not lost Kevin, he was still alive and well and home with his family. He had thanked his fans for all their support over the years and for the support they had given during the time he was missing. The kids were with Nick and Lisa, and Kevin and I finally had our alone time.

"Wanna walk to the stream?" I asked.

"Nah, kinda tired and my foot hurts."

"That's ok, I rearranged the bedroom, you can see the stream from the bed."

"Then what are we waiting on?" He wiggled his eyebrows and bent down scooping me into his arms, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck.
"So Mr. Richardson, did you mean what you said to Sarah?"
"Bout what." He began walking towards the bedroom.

"About how much you love me and the kids?"

"Now Cass, do you even have to ask that?"

"Nope, but what about hoping to extend the family?"

"Well, I was thinking that I'd like to make another baby with my wife, if she was willing?" He closed the door to the bedroom and slid me down the front of his body.
"Hmm, so if you wife is willing to have another baby, then you fine sir would like to get started when?"

"Depends on what her answer is." I felt his hands grasp the hem of my shirt and pull it up over my head. I closed my eyes as his finger traced over my skin.

"And if her answer is yes, she would love to have your baby?" I began to unbutton his shirt; it slid easily to the floor. My hands tracing the muscles of his body, avoiding contact with the scratches and bruises that marked him.

"Then I say we start right now?" I looked up into his eyes. They were a dark shade of green and full of passion.

"Well, then I say we get started?" His lips crashed down on mine. The need to feel each other was so strong. We made sure that we touched every part of the others body reassuring ourselves. He was so gentle and it was so perfect. We lay there in each other's arms watching the sunset over the stream outside our window. As our breathing returned too normal he spoke.

"Cass, you make me so happy, I've been so blessed to have you in my life, my arms, in my heart. Thanks for loving me? It still amazes me that you choose me; you choose to give yourself to me. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm glad God saw fit to give you to me."

"Oh boo, I'm the one that should be thanking you. You've given me more than anyone should ever be allowed to have. A family, a home and a husband that's my best friend, and like I've always said Kevin; I'm yours and yours alone. You know. I'm the one that has to ask what I did to deserve this?"

"You loved me Cass, you just loved me."
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