Klutz Meets Grace

She let the waves take her back and forth, she felt the board under her feet take her where the ocean wanted to go. She belonged to the deep blue salty waters and nothing else. The sun had just begun to rise up from the east end of the ocean, Anastasia new that it was 5:30am by looking at the sun. This was her place and knew that no one else would be on this part of the beach until at least noon. She was here when the sun rose and she would be floating on her board as the sun set.

When she was out in the water, she didn’t need to think about just how crazy her life had become within the last month, she had the waves for comfort and whenever she felt like crying, she knew the waters would take her tears out to see to be forgotten and lost.

Nick was out for his morning run, something he had started doing since he moved into his new beach house. He had to get into shape, especially if he were going to be touring within a year with the guys. He saw her again in the oceans waves, surfing with ease and elegance. He had seen her out there every day for the past two weeks surfing alone and sometimes he would catch her surf just before sunset with much calmer waves. He never was able to get close enough to see her, but from a distance, her long blonde hair stuck out on her tan skin. She wore a pair of white board shorts today with a brown bikini top.

The guys would make fun of him whenever he spoke out about the mystery surfer. They still didn’t believe Nick took up jogging, non-the-less in the morning. Nick was about to turn around from his two mile run to head home to shower before going to meet the guys in the recording studio when he stepped into a hole on the beach and fell onto the white sand.

Anastasia was just walking in with her board and went to reach for her towel that laid on the jetty rocks when she noticed the jogger from a distance take a face plant. She couldn’t help but giggle her self the way his face actually hit the sand. She squeezed the water from her waist long hair, continuing to watch the klutzy blonde. When he didn’t stand back up, she jogged over to him.

“Hey there, are you alright?” she asked kneeling down the tall blonde who was now sitting up.

“This hole jumped out in front of me and well, took me down. I hurt my ankle pretty bad,” Nick held onto his left ankle tightly squinting up at Anastasia trying to laugh.

“Here let me take a look, I’m actually a sports trainer,” she smiled at him. “My name is Anastasia by the way,” she pulled his fingers away from his grip to examine his ankle.

“Nick,” he watched as her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders, brushing against his leg. He couldn’t help the goose bumps that appeared over his body as she gently ran her long fingers over his ankle.

“It’s already swollen, which is a good thing. I think it’s just a sprain,” she moved his ankle side to side.

“Ah watch it!” Nick winced in pain.

“Sorry.”

“So you think it’s just a sprain?”

“If it were broken, I wouldn’t have been able to move it around like that. And where it hurts the most is the most typical spot for a sprain. I’ve had my share, trust me.” She winked at Nick and showed him the scar on her right ankle.

"What's that from?" Nick asked.

"Too many sprains and cartliage damage. And one nasty break."

"Damn." Nick looked the scar.

“Here let’s get you up,” she stood up holding her hand out to Nick. He took it, standing up on his good leg. “Okay now let’s put some weight on it,” Nick stepped down gingerly and cried out in pain.

“I can’t,” he told Anastasia still holding her hand. She now had her arm around his waist.

“Alright, maybe you should get an x-ray. Um, did you drive or anything?”

“My house is about two miles down the beach.” Nick shrugged.

“Well,” she bit her lower lip thinking. “If you want, my car is just up there. I’ll drive it down and take you to get it looked at?”

“I can call one of my friends, I don’t want to be a pain,” Nick wiped a bead of sweat that was falling from his forehead.

“No, I don’t mind at all, I would actually feel better knowing you were okay,” she smiled up at him. He was a good six inches taller than her.

“That would be very sweet of you,” Nick fixed his weight on his good foot.

“Here, let’s get you over to that hill right there, I don’t think my car will go around the jetty. Think you can try?” Nick nodded his head and she put his arm around her shoulders. She helped Nick slowly over to the hill, he limped, half skipped, and partly hopped on one fit to get where needed to go.

“Thanks,” he said breathing hard.

“I’ll be right back Nick,” she flashed him one more smile and jogged to where her surf board was. She picked it up with ease, even though it was taller than her and carried it up the hill where her car was.
“The guys are not going to believe this,” Nick said to himself shaking his head.

Ch. 2:Choclate Chip Pancakes for Lunch

Anastasia waited in the lounge reading a People magazine. She sat in her now almost dried board shorts, and a white halter top over her bikini.

“You were right,” she heard a voice say. She lowered the magazine just below her eyes and saw Nick hunched over a pair of crutches. His blonde hair falling over his eyes, she couldn’t but notice how adorable he looked.

“Sprain?” she now stood up looked down at his foot. It had an air cast on wrapped up in an ace bandage.

“Yeah, the doctor said I should be ok in a few days. Ice and rest and I’ll be good as new!”

“I don’t know about that, I mean you did fall into a rather large hole,” she winked at Nick.

“Hey, someone distracted me,” he half grinned at Anastasia. She could feel her cheeks grow warm. “So, thank you for everything. You must have things you need to do. I can call for a ride. I called some of my friends already, I was supposed to meet them at 8 but that isn’t going to happen, they said all I had to do was call.”

“I’ll take ya home Klutz. Today is actually my day off, I would love to do nothing more than wait in a hospital!”

“Sure pick on the tall kid,” Nick pouted.

“Aww poor baby, I’m just teasing,” what are you doing Stacey? You shouldn’t be flirting with this Nick guy, she thought.

“Well, can I take you out for some breakfast at least?”

“You don’t have to do that besides it’s lunch time.”

“But I want to and I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay, chocolate chip pancakes.”

“That’s what you want?”

“Yes.”

“For lunch?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, chocolate chip pancakes it is.” The two laughed as they walked out of the hospital and got into Anastasia’s Jeep Cherokee.

She put Nick’s crutches in the back after he got in and started the car.

“So, that’s pretty cool you can drive a stick,” Nick told her looking down at her hand as she shifted first to second gear.

“Thanks. I hate automatics, I get bored. So where are we going?”

“Go left at that light. So, do you mind me asking how old you are?”

“What do I look forty or something?”

“No, not at all, just some girls—”

“Sixteen.” She looked at Nick through the corner of her eye to see his facial expression. She couldn’t help but laugh as his jaw almost hit his lap. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I just thought you were older”

“I’m messing with you Nick. I’m twenty-four. You?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Now where am I going?”

“Shey’s, it’s on the left.” Nick pointed over to this small restaurant where people were sitting outside eating. I parallel parked my car and got out and handed Nick his crutches. We went inside to eat because it was already a hot day in California. We sat in a booth and ordered our pancakes.

“So do you live near that beach?” Nick asked taking a sip from his lemonade.

“A five minute drive. It’s just a pain to get there with the board so I drive, or I would jog. I do that sometimes just to swim.”

“And you’re a sports trainer?”

“Yep. Mostly for high school teams, but I’m working at some sports camps here and there. It’s a good job. So, what are you doing these days…with the BSB?” Nick dropped the straw out of his mouth

“You know?”

“Don’t look so surprised Mr. Carter. I didn’t live under a rock the last ten years. I was actually quite the fan.” Nick sat up a little straighter. He couldn’t believe for one, that she knew who he was and two that she was very cool about the fact he was a Backstreet Boy.

“So, you know more about me than I know about you, not fair.” Nick whined.

“What do you want to know?” she raised an eye brow up at him.

“Last name.”

“Stevens.”

“Favorite type of music.”

“I don’t have one, depends on my mood.”

“Fair enough. Favorite BSB song?”

“Back to Your Heart.”

“Favorite sport.”

“Surfing, dancing, basket ball.”

“Hmm, are pancakes your favorite food?”

“Yes. Next to it ice cream.”

“Favorite BSB?”

“A.J.” Nicks eyes grew wide. “Well, I hear this Nick character is kinda a pimp.”

“He is NOT!” Nick defended and they both started laughing.

“I also hear he’s kinda cute…” Anastasia took a sip of her water.

“Well, I did hear that one was true.” The two stared into each others eyes for a minute and then were snapped out of it as the waitress placed two plates of chocolate chip pancakes down in front of them.

“But Brian you have to believe me, how else would I have gotten to the hospital and back?”

“I believe someone helped you, I’m not sure about your mystery surfer.” Brian shook his head looking down at a song he and Nick were working on.

“She’s coming tonight, did I tell you that?” Nick sat on the couch, letting his crutches fall to the floor.

“No, you did not.”

“Yeah, so you’ll get to meet her.”

“She’s beautiful Bri. There’s something about her, she’s funny and witty, athletic.”

“And probably has a boyfriend?”

“If she did, would she be coming over tonight?”

“Good point. Now, let’s get working here. We need like five more songs to record. This album has to be amazing…and it’s so hard without Kevin this time around.”

Nick felt for his best friend. Kevin was the rock of the group for the most part, his opinion to previous albums always meant the most and he was almost always right. He still wasn’t sure if touring would happen without him or not.

For the next few hours the continued to strum on their guitars, write and sing. They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it for you,” Brian said sticking a pencil behind his ear as he got up. Brian opened the door to a tall, long blonde hair, beautiful woman. Everything Nick had described and more.

“Hi, is Nick home?” she smiled at Brian.

“Of course, c’mon on please. I’m Brian,” he held his hand out as he talked in his sweet southern drawl. She shook it, not elegantly but with confidence.

“I know I used to be a Backstreet geek…okay still am in love with the music. Too bad about your cousin. I’m Anastasia.”

“Yeah thank you. Nick’s in here, thank you for taking care of this pain in the butt for us. He says he didn’t even have his cell phone on him, what would’ve he had done if you weren’t there.” Anastasia shrugged. She walked around the corner and saw Nick sitting on the couch with his foot propped up onto a pillow.

“Hey you,” she smiled at Nick. He was about to stand to greet her but she held her hand up telling him to stay. She leaned in and gave him a hug.

“You met Brian?”

“I did. I change my mind, he’s my favorite Backstreet Boy.” She looked at Brian and smiled.

“He’s married with a kid, sorry.” Nick pointed out.

“Okay kids, I’m going to head out. Nick I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven, we have to be at the studio all day.”

“Yes Dad. Sheesh Kevin leaves and you take his place.

“Runs in the family. Nice to meet you Anastasia. Don’t let him fool you, he can do quite a bit on his own. Later Frack.”

“See ya Frick. So, sit down. What do you want to do?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I’d say go for a swim or a walk on the beach or surfing…but…”

“Sure make me feel worse than I do.”

“I’m only having fun. Were you working on a song?” She picked up a guitar that was leaning against the chair.

“We were.” She looked down at the paper and started strumming the notes she saw. “You play?”

“A little,” she smiled back and set the guitar down. “It sounds good, the lyrics though, I don’t know if they fit with that kind of melody.”

“Play some more,” Nick propped up on one elbow.

“Nah, I’m not that good. So, how is the ankle?”

“It’s sore.”

“When’s the last time you iced?”

“About two hours ago.”

“Nick! You should every twenty minutes on and twenty minutes off. Where’s your kitchen?” She stood up and Nick watched her toned legs walk towards the kitchen. She came back a minute later with a bag of peas.

“I’m not hungry?” Nick questioned.

“No, they make the best ice packs. Just don’t eat them after they’ve defrosted and have been frozen again. May I?” She pointed to Nick’s ankle and he nodded his head. He watched as she gently un-wrapped the bandage and un-strapped the air cast. She let her finger tips softly wander over the black and bruised and ankle. She planted a small kiss and said “better?” before putting on the bag of peas.

“Better,” Nick replied. He watched at how gentle she was with him, yet how full of life she had in her. Her blue eyes sparkled and whenever she would look right into Nick’s eyes he couldn’t help have this feeling that there was so much more about her that he wanted to know.

“So, how about a movie? We could just chill in, get to know one another?”

“That sounds perfect, why don’t you go pick one on the wall and I’ll order a pizza?”

“With chocolate chips,” she smiled at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Okay just mushrooms.” They laughed and Anastasia stood up and went over to where there were shelves of DVDs. She picked an older movie, so that they would be able to talk and still know what was going on during the film.

“How about, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean Two’. I love these movies!”

“Sounds perfect, pizza will be here in twenty. Well, let’s wait before we pop it in. So, if you want within the next couple of days I can give you some exercises for you ankle so that it heels faster?”

“Really? That would be great, I’m not used to this being laid up. Brian liked I though because we actually got work done.”

“Mmm, that’s so amazing.” She sat on the couch and brought her knees up to her chest.

“What’s the amazing part of that?”

“Your job that you get to write music and play and perform and travel!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet, exhausting, especially when we first came out. Is sports medicine what you always wanted to do?”

“Well, sorta.” Nick was just about to ask her what she meant when her phone went off. “Oh, sorry,” she pulled her phone out of her large brown bag and hit a button. “May I use your bathroom Nick?”

“Of course, go through the kitchen, near where you walked in.”

“Thanks,” Anastasia bounded up from the couch taking her bag and went into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and set her bag on the toilet seat. She went through her bag and pulled out a pink box. She opened it up and pricked her finger checking her blood glucose levels. When they read normal, she took her medication, drinking straight from the faucet. She wiped her mouth and glanced in the mirror.

‘Go slow with this one, you don’t need anymore trauma in your life Stace,’ she pepped talk herself and walked out of the bathroom. When she walked back out to the living room she saw Nick making painful expressions.

“What are you doing?” she laughed setting her purse next to the couch and taking a seat.

“Trying to move my foot,” Nick’s eyes looked full of determination.

“Give it a few days there Carter, it’s too swollen.”

“This sucks, how did that hole even get there?”

“I don’t want to hear it! I had my surgery when I had just turned twenty one and was legal to go to clubs, during the summer and had a cast on for three months and was on crutches for over six months!”

“Okay you win!”

“So you have a gorgeous home and it’s awesome it’s right on the water! I’d die to have a place like this or at least in this location.”

“I love it. It keeps me sane,” he watched as she stared out the French doors, looking out into the water. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who loves the ocean as much as me,” Nick told her.

“I’ve always been around it, I can’t go a day without being in it. Whether it’s running, swimming or surfing. I agree though, it helps keep me sane too.”

“How long have you surfed?”

“Oh geeze, I guess since I was like ten?”

“I’ve tried it once, I wasn’t too successful. Aaron, my little brother is pretty good.”

“That’s because you haven’t been out with me, as soon as you can stand I’ll take you.”

“You actually think you can get my ass up on a board?”

“I know so. It’s so calm out now, it’s gorgeous.” Nick sat up a little more to look outside with her.

“I wish I could take you down to the beach right now,” Nick said looking at Anastasia.

“Aww that’s sweet Nick, I’ll go in the morning.” The doorbell rang.

“That’s the pizza,” Nick grabbed his crutches and got up. Anastasia placed her hand on Nick’s lower back to make sure he made it okay. Anastasia opened the door and took the pizza from the guy.

“That will be twelve-fifteen.” Nick nodded his head and handed the guy a twenty and said ‘thank you’.

“I’m surprised you get delivery out here,” Anastasia told him as they went into the kitchen.

“The main road is actually like a mile away, its building fast here. Let’s take this into the living room and put the movie in.”

Towards the end of the movie, Anastasia was leaning into Nick and his arm was around her shoulder. She lied sleepily in his arms as she watched the movie.

“You awake?” Nick asked looking down.

“Mmm hmm, sorry I’m just kinda fading. I’m usually a night owl.”

“It’s alright. Did you make these bracelets?” Nick asked playing with the many bracelets on her left arm.

“Yes,” she said shortly and pulled her hand away. “Hey, I should get going, it’s getting kind of late and I have to work tomorrow morning for a football camp. Gotta love summer hours,” she sat up and stretched a little.

“Alright. Thank you for coming over,” Nick watched as she stood up and Nick got up, picking his crutches up from the ground. “Hey Anastasia?”

“Yes?” she grabbed her purse and looked at him.

“I’m glad, I well, was a klutz today.” Nick shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m glad you were a klutz too,” she winked.

“Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Please do,” she pulled him in for a hug. “Ice that one more time before bed.”

“Yes, Mom,” Nick pulled away.

“Goodnight doll face,” she smiled and walked out the door.

Ch. 4: Gummy Bears and Currents

“Dammit Stacie, it hurts!” Nick whined.

“Nick, it’s going to. You’ve been off of it for almost a week now. It’s not going to get stronger. It’s not swollen anymore, it’s just tight from not using it and if you did those exercises I told you to do…”

“Well, it was sore,” Nick limped through the mall. “Why did we have to come to the mall when you hate it anyway?”

“Because I have to get the new ‘Boys Like Girls’ CD and something else. Besides the exercise is good for you,” she slung her arm through Nick’s and walked by his side. “Are you always this whiney?”

“Yes,” Nick whined even more to prove his point.

“Damn, and you’re still alive after touring with those guys all these years?”

“Hey! I’m not that bad. Why don’t you just buy the CD off the internet and put into your Ipod?”

“I will put it on my Ipod, but what if I take the songs off of my Ipod someday and then I want to hear these songs?”

“You won’t, they are only a phase.”

“Like you know good music…okay you do but still. Here its right here,” she went to the bin and pulled it out.

“Let me buy it for you,” Nick told her taking the CD out of her hand.

“No, I’ve got it thanks,” she took it back but Nick took it out of her hand and got to the register before her. He whipped out his wallet and placed his credit card on the counter.

“Get out of here,” Nick said playing and pushed his arm in front of her.

“Don’t listen to him, I’ll pay,” Stacie went to throw a twenty on the counter but Nick pushed her back, telling the teenage girl to go ahead.

“Here you go,” Nick handed her the bag and smirked.

“Thank you, but you shouldn’t have,” she smiled up at Nick.

“It’s a thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“You were a mess, someone had to,” Stacie laughed.

“Oh, you’re going to get it,” Nick wrapped his arm around her waist. Stacie couldn’t help but how natural it felt for it to be there. But she knew she wasn’t ready and pulled away.

“What time is it?” Nick looked down at his watch.

“Four, why?”

“We have to hurry!” She pulled on Nick’s hand to the pharmacy. “Um, just stay here for a minute, here sit on that bench, get off that foot, I’ll be right back!” Before Nick could say anything Stacie ran into the drug store. A few minutes later she came out with a bag from the store and a bag of gummy bears.

“What was that all about?” Nick asked walking up to her.

“You don’t like gummy bears?” She pushed the bag towards him.

“No, I do but you ran off like a crazy person,” Nick laughed taking a bear from the bag.

“I am NOT crazy,” Nick couldn’t quite tell if she was serious or not with her tone of voice. “But we have to go before we miss the good waves, so maybe I am.” She winked at Nick popping a bear into her mouth.

Forty minutes later Nick and Stacie were on the beach with her surf board.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to try yet,” Nick said looking into the rough waves. Stacie looked down at Nick’s foot.

“It is kinda swelling isn’t it? I’m sorry we should go ice and just..”

“Go get some waves and hang five or whatever you call it,” Nick laughed.

“Hang ten, and no I have an idea. Come on,” she took the board and Nick’s hand and walked down to the waters. “Careful there’s a strong current,” she held onto Nick’s hand tighter. “You okay?”

“I’m good,” Nick said watching his steps. The board was strapped around Stacie’s ankle and she sat on the board.

“Get on,” she told Nick. “It’s fun to just sit and let the waves take us away,” she told Nick. He got on the back of the board, grateful to get off his throbbing ankle. The cold California waters felt good on it however.

“Do you ever long board?”

“I have, it’s not as fun though, at least for me.” They sat quietly, enjoying the sunset and each other’s company for the next ten minutes.

“What are you getting tired on me already?” Nick laughed as Stacie leaned against him.

“A little, are you ready to go in? I’m also cold,” she whispered and Nick said okay. They hopped off the bored into the brisk water and started walking in. Stacie pulled the board and found it hard for her to go against the current. Her body felt instantly weak and she fell under water’s angry currents.

“ANASTASIA!” Nick called out as soon as she fell under the water’s surface. She dove under the water to where the surfboard bounced; she came up coughing and spitting water. “Stacie, are you okay?” Nick now had her in his arms. “Stace talk to me,” Nick looked down into his arms.

“I’m fine, I just slipped off a sand bar,” she smiled up at him weakly.

“Are you sure? You’re really pale babe,” Nick set her down carefully, still holding onto her and now the board; they walked up to the beach. Nick watched as she fell to her knees, trying to catch her breath. “You’re not okay, what’s wrong? You didn’t slip out there,” Nick had his hand on her shoulder. She went to stand up and he saw how shaky she was.

“Can we go back to your place?”

“Of course,” Nick helped her stand as they made their way back to the beach house. Nick set her surf board against the house. She was sitting on a chair under the umbrella, head in hands. Nick couldn’t help but feel worried. He reached inside and grabbed a towel, he wrapped it around her and rubbed her arms trying to warm her up.

“Thanks,” she said. “Nick could I have an apple or something?”

“Of course, here why don’t you go get dressed and I’ll make some dinner?”

“I need something right now,” she shook her head still in her hands.

“Okay…” Nick went inside, took an apple out of a basket and watched it off. He brought it back outside and handed it to Stacie.

“Thank you, but yeah dinner sounds great. I’ll go get dressed.” She took a bite out of the apple and ate it slowly.

“You’re not getting sick are you?” Nick felt her forehead.

“No,” she smiled. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she disappeared inside to get dressed. Ten minutes later she into the kitchen where Nick was fixing dinner.

“Feel better?” Nick asked coming up to her, wrapping his arms around her for a hug.

“Yes, sorry about that, I don’t know what my problem is.”

“It’s alright, as long as you’re okay. Do you like pasta?”

“I do,” she smiled at him and took a seat at stool at the counter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“It was the weirdest thing Brian, she just like totally changed personalities. But when she came out of that water, she looked sick, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get out.” Nick explained to Brian about the previous night’s events as they waited for A.J. and Howie to show up at the studio.

“Maybe she was embarrassed? She seems like she’s a very strong person?”

“Maybe,” Nick thought.

“What’s up?!” A.J. yelled coming into the room with Howie, with a bag of McDonalds.

“Nick here is telling about his new crush,” Brian laughed hugging A.J. and Howie.

“Ohh, the mystery surfer? So, she is real Rok?” Howie asked.

“She’s real and I don’t know what she sees in Nicky here.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just playing relax. But she is pretty woman,” Brian smiled at his friend.

“Alright enough of picking on Nick…for now. Let’s try to get a whole song recorded today.” A.J. said taking a seat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So you like this guy?” Peyton asked her best friend as they jogged down the beach.

“I’m not sure,” Stacie exclaimed.

“But you’ve been hanging out with him every night since you two met. What’s the deal?”

“I’m not sure.”

“ANASTASIA MARIE!”

“Alright, it’s just, he’s the first guy since…you know, that has given me butterflies in my tummy. It’s like being out in the ocean, I forget about any worry I have when I’m with him and he makes me laugh. I just don’t think I’m ready?”

“Girl, you’ve been through a lot this past year and the last two months have been kind of crazy for you, I know that. But you do not decide if you are ready, your heart will let you know.”

“You’re right.”

“Let’s have like bon fire tonight! It’s the weekend, it will be fun! We can feel like we’re in college again.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, invite you Backstrut man, I’ll bring Eric, it will be fun. Maybe some other friends?”

“It’s already almost noon, we better start calling. And it’s BackSTREET Boy.”

“Oh, he’s only a boy?”

“Yeah, like I want him to meet you!” Stacie pushed her friend and turned around taking off faster.

“Race you to the car!” The two friends raced until they both reached the car, panting and out of breath. Peyton reached into her Mustang and grabbed two water bottles and threw one at Stacie.

“Call him now!”
“I think he’s busy,” Stacie explained that he was in the middle of making a record.

“If he’s busy, his phone will go to voicemail and you can leave a message,” Peyton told her. Stacie thought about it for a moment and knew she was right. She took her cell out of her purse and hit the send button. Nick’s number appeared from a previous call the night before and listened to it ring.

“Hello?” Nick’s voice answered the phone.

“Hey!” Stacie was surprised he answered on the first ring.

“Hey you, what’s up?”

“I thought you were busy today?”

“Lunch break.”

“Ahh I see. Well, I was just on a run with my friend Peyton and we sorta had a crazy idea…”

“I’m listening.”

“Bon fire tonight?”

“Sounds fun. Want to have it at my place so we can do it right on the beach?”

“That would be perfect, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all babe, how about you come over around eight, bring whomever you want.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

“Can’t wait to see you,” Nick smiled as he said this. Stacie couldn’t help the big grin that appeared on her face.

“Ditto. Bye Nick!”

“Later.”

“So, it’s a go?” Peyton asked getting off her phone at the same time.

“Nick’s at eight.”

“Eric and I will swing and pick you up on the way.”

“Okay, I’ll pick up some stuff to make smores.”

By nine, A.J. his girlfriend Amanda, Howie and his girlfriend Jen and Brian and Leigh were sitting around the camp fire with Eric and Peyton and Nick and Anastasia. Everyone had pretty much bought a bottle of wine and they were all talking, sharing stories and getting to know one another.

“Who wants a smore!?” Stacie asked lifting her stick up in the air.

“I’ll take one,” Nick said opening up the bag of marshmallows and handing her two.

“Hope you like extra crispy,” Eric warned Nick. Stacie shot him a glance.

“It’s my method and they come out great and gooey, you know that!” Stacie said matter of fact. She held the stick into the flames until there was a ball of fire on the end of the stick. She brought the burning end to her lips and blew softly until the flame went out. Nick couldn’t help at how sexy she looked doing it. He watched as she took her thumb and forefinger to the burnt marshmallow and carefully pull the burnt skin off.

“Gram crackers please,” she said holding her hand out. Nick gave a piece and she broke it in two. She placed the now gooey marshmallow in the middle and slid it off with the two pieces of cracker. She took a piece of chocolate out of the bag and slid it in between and handed it to Nick.

“Damn girl, I’m impressed,” A.J. said. Everyone had stopped talking and watched how carefully she had assembled the smores. Nick took a bite out of it and his eyes widened.

“It’s great!” He said with a mouthful. Stacie laughed and simply said, “I know.”

“I’m going to get a refill, anyone need anything?” Stacie asked.

“I’ll take a refill,” Brian said.

“Me too please,” Peyton held her glass up.

“I’ll just bring the next bottle out,” Stacie laughed.

“I’ll help you,” Nick stood up with her and followed her inside. When Stacie looked at Nick she started laughing. “What?” Nick asked.

“You have marshmallow all over your lips,” she said taking her pointer finger to his lips.

“Oh do I?” Nick asked getting closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

“You’re a slob, sorry,” Stacie shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe you could help me get it off?”

“Maybe. Any suggestions on how I do that?”

“I can think of one way…” Nick’s voice trailed off into a whisper, his lips inches from her bubble gum lips.

“I think I can help,” she whispered back as they both leaned into one another and they started kissing.

“Hey could you get the Chardonnay this –whoa sorry!” A.J. said walking into the kitchen. Nick and Stacie pulled away abruptly.

“A.J. what do you want?” Nick asked almost snapping at him.

“Never-mind, I’ll get it myself,” A.J. tried not to laugh at the blushing couple as he reached into the refrigerator for the bottle of wine. He shook his head and disappeared back outside to the beach.

“Sorry about him,” Nick apologized for his friend.

“No, it’s okay.” Stacie dug her hands into the rear pockets of her jean shorts. “Let’s go back outside,” she told Nick and headed for the doors.

“Stace wait,” he took her hand and pulled her towards him. “Was that, back there, was that okay?”

“Relax Nicky,” she ruffled his hair and went back outside.

“And they both just pulled—Anastasia hey there!” A.J. said as saw her step outside onto the sand.

“A.J. were you telling stories again?” She asked laughing.

“Maybe,” was all he said.

“Let’s go swimming!” Stacie said and the nine new friends just looked at her as though she had another head coming from her neck.

“It’s ten at night!” Howie said looking at his phone.

“It’s dark,” his girlfriend Amanda agreed.

“It’s a full moon tonight and perfect,” Stacie said.

“I’ll go,” Peyton stood up.

“We would love to join, but we have to get home to Bailey,” Brian said taking Leigh’s hand.

“Aww okay next time Bri, it was great meeting you Leigh,” Stacie pulled her in for a hug and everyone said their good-byes to them.

“Do you at least want a swim suit?” Nick asked Stacie who was slipping off her sandals and taking out things from her pocket.

“What for?”

“That’s my kind of girl!” A.J. laughed as he started taking his hat off and watch.

Nick watched as Stacie pulled off her sweat shirt revealing a tight white tank top with spaghetti straps.

“C’mon Nicky,” she said pulling on his hand. “I’ll race you down!” She laughed and headed for the beach.

“I’m still a gimp! I’ll meet you down!”

“That one there is a spit fire,” A.J. pointed out as he followed his girlfriend down with Eric. Peyton was already in the water with Stacie.

“I know,” Nick smiled. He watched as Stacie and her friend jumped the waves screaming. The moon was bright enough that you could see half way out to ocean. Nick got to the water and Stacie walked up to him taking his hand.

“Are you telling me you never swim at night Nick?” she asked pulling him into the water.

“Well, no. It’s usually just me and it’s not really safe and…” Nick’s words were cut off as Stacie dunked him under water. He came up spitting the salty water. “You’re going to get it now!” He pulled Stacie under water.

“Wasn’t it like this in Jaws where that girl died?” Howie asked.

“D shut up man!” A.J. pushed Howie under water. Everyone started laughing. They were all having a good time when Nick noticed Stacie was gone.

“Stace?” he called out.

“Where did she go?” Howie asked.

“Hey where is Peyton?” Eric asked swimming up to the guys.

“I don’t know, I feel like they were just here.” Nick asked as he looked around the water. “Stacie!” He called out again.

“I bet they’re together planning something,” Eric explained. “They’re like Lucy and Ethel.”

“They do this stuff a lot?” Nick asked Eric.

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into man, they’ve been friends since first grade. They can read each other’s minds by just looking at one another. Hey I think I saw them over there,” he threw his chin over to a direction. Nick nodded and they casually started swimming to where they thought they were. Nick and Eric got closer up to the shore’s edge where it was shallow and the two girls stood up and started running.

“Get back here!” Eric laughed as him and Nick followed. The girls started laughing like little school girls. Nick ran about ten steps before he was down in the sand. “Man down!” Eric yelled by this time, A.J. and Howie were up at the beach the rest of them.

“You alright bud?” Howie asked Nick.

“Yeah,” Nick stood up with his friends help. Stacie got back down to where Nick was and went up to him.

“Sorry Nick, I forgot.” Her words were extremely concerned.

“It’s just sore, I’ll live, are you done causing mischief?”

“For now,” she put her arms around Nick’s waist. “Come on let’s head back in.” She noticed how bad Nick was limping and put his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” he tried to pull a fake smile but she could see how bad he was hurting.

“A.J. a little help?” she asked. A.J. got on Nick’s other side and helped him get back up to the house. They brought Nick in and Howie went to get towels. The girls helped clean up outside and Stacie got some ice for Nick.

“I think I just over did it a little,” he said putting his foot up onto a chair.

“It’s all swollen again Nick, what did you do today?”

“Recorded a song, maybe played a little basket ball…”

“Nick! You’re staying off of it tomorrow! Where is your air cast and wrap?”

“In my room on my dresser,” before he could say anything else she disappeared and was back. Stacie wrapped the ace bandage over the bag of ice and put on the air cast over it.

“Alright I think we’re all heading out, Nick man it’s been great meeting you. Thank you for tonight,” Eric shook Nick’s hand. Peyton hugged Nick.

“You coming with us?” Peyton asked Stacie.

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t drive,” she said.

“I can take you home later if you want to stay longer,” Nick spoke up.

“It’s alright, I don’t want you to be moving around,” Stacie said putting a hand on his lap.

“Well, that’s why you should stay a little longer to make sure I don’t move around,” he smiled.

“Okay we get it, call me tomorrow girl,” Peyton pulled Stacie in for a hug and kissed her cheek. “YOU don’t pull any moves on her!” she pointed a finger at Nick. He held up both hands in surrender.

Soon Howie and A.J. came and said goodbye and it was Nick and Stacie.

“Let me get you some dry clothes,” Nick stood up wincing a bit. He limped into his room and came out a minute later with a pair of plain boxers and a white tee. “They’re probably huge on you but they’re my smallest pair…and they’re clean.”

“They’re perfect, go get changed yourself,” she went into the bathroom to get changed. She came out and hung her clothes outside on a chair and waited for Nick in the living room. She flipped on the television and went through the channels landing on a twenty-four hour music channel. Her attention was shifted as Nick came out hopping on one foot.

“Sorry,” he said hopping over.

“Aww Nick, why don’t you use your crutches if its that bad?”

“You mean those crutches?” He pointed to the pair resting against the wall behind a chair. “It’s alright.”

“You should’ve called me,” she helped Nick sit down and took his legs up and over her lap. She gently placed a pillow under his bad ankle and rubbed his legs.

“Stasia?” Nick asked.

“Hmm?” she asked over to him.

“Earlier tonight?”

“Nick, it was a kiss, it was right for the moment, don’t dwell on it,” she laughed lightly.

“Oh…well did you like it?”

“No.” Nick raised his eye brows.

“I’m kidding, I said it was right for the moment, it was …special.” Nick smiled with that answer. Within the next twenty minutes they were both asleep.
_________________

Nick woke in the middle of the night to the sound of Fall out Boys song, “Thanks for the Memories”. He sat up a little and saw Stacie lying sort of side ways against the couch with his legs still on her. He carefully lifted his legs up and looked onto the clock on the TV. It was three am. As went to stand, she let out a soft moan and opened her eyes.

“Nick?” she whispered.

“Hey you, it’s late. Do you want to just spend the night tonight?” She nodded her head sleepily. “Come on you can sleep in the guest room; it will be a lot more comfortable.

“Could I sleep with you?” she asked sitting up.

“Of course,” Nick held his hand out to her balancing on one foot. She stood up and walked over to where Nick’s crutches were and handed them to him. “Thanks,” he led the way to his room. He pulled the covers down and watched as she slid into bed and then he got in. They pulled the covers up over themselves and Stacie moved into Nick, placing her head on his chest. His arm went around her waist and they soon both fell asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that morning Nick woke up, his clock read ten-thirteen. His lips formed a smile as soon as he saw Anastasia asleep next to him. She looked so peaceful as she slept like an angel. He brushed a piece of hair out of her face. Her arms were tucked up against her as she lay on her side. He looked at the bracelets on her wrist, he counted six of them; they were of a variety of color and styles that were obviously hand made. He looked at each one individually moving them down her arm a little. When they were all pushed up he noticed a long red scar down her wrist.

Nick couldn’t help but run his finger gently down it and notice that it looked like a fairly new scar. He pulled his hand away when Stacie moved a little and fluttered her eyes open. “Hey you,” she smiled a little.

“Hey,” Nick said back. “How did you sleep?”

“Amazing, you?”

“Same,” his eyes kept glancing down at her wrist and couldn’t help it.

“You alright?” she asked sitting up a little.

“Yeah, I just—” His eyes went back to her arm and she followed his gaze. When she saw her scar was showing she quickly took her right hand and covered it. Stacie’s eyes closed tight before she opened them. “Stacia I’m sorry, I just noticed this morning and…”

“It’s fine!” She got out of the bed and went out to get her clothes. Nick stayed in bed a minute longer before getting up and getting dressed. He limped out to the living room where Stacie was looking around for her things. She found her purse and disappeared back into the bathroom and came back out a minute later.

“Stace, I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to,” Nick said sincerely.

“I know its okay. Do you think you could take me home?”

“Do you have to already?”

“Yeah, I just have, I have to do a few things.”

“Alright,” Nick grabbed his keys off the counter and escorted Stacie out to his car. They got in not saying a word and Nick drove her to her house. When he pulled into the driveway, he put the car into park and looked over to Stacie. She looked down at her purse for a moment on her lap and then looked at Nick.

“I had a great time last night Nick,” her voice was soft and for once Nick noticed she didn’t sound like the confident bubbly girl he met.

“Will you go out with me tonight? Like a formal slash casual date?” Nick’s eyes were sincere and did everything he could to resist from kissing her.

“Um, I’m not sure, can I call you a little later?”

“Of course, have a good day,” he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

“Bye,” she whispered and climbed out of his car. Nick watched as she took her keys out and put them into the door and disappear.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“And I freaked and lost it and I just don’t think I can see him anymore,” Stacie paced back and forth in her living room explaining to Peyton what had happed.

“Slow down, deep breaths, Nick seems like a for real guy. You’ve only known him for a couple weeks, you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t want to yet. But if you like him as much as you’re leading on and I know he likes you, then maybe being honest and up front about everything is best.”

“Peyton, I don’t want him to know this other side of me, it’s not me, it is but not, he’ll think I’m a total head case and just fake.”

“Not if you tell him, if you give him enough time to think about things then maybe he’ll come up with other crazy things in his imagination. Anastasia, you’re ready, let your heart go.”

“It’s so hard, I mean why? The other guys I was able to turn down right away after one date.”

“Because there’s something there with this one. And if you screw it up, I’ll kill you. Now call Nick, tell him you would love to go out with him and call me tomorrow.”

“Okay okay…thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, now I’m hanging up. Love you!” Before Stacie could say anything back she heard the dial tone. ‘You can do this’ she told herself before calling Nick. It rang about four times and she thought was going to have to leave a voicemail but then he answered.

“So, what time should I pick you up?” Nick said as he answered the phone.

“Who said I was going out with you?” Stacie laughed a little.

“What time?”

“Seven? And Nick, leave some room at the end of the night, I want to take you somewhere.”

“I thought this was my date to you?”

“It is I just, just trust me, okay?”

“I do trust you baby,” Nick told her sweetly. Stacie couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll see you tonight, seven then.”

“Seven.” They hung up the phone and Stacie went through her head what she would tell Nick and what she would wear.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Nick dinner was great,” Nick had taken Stacie to a seafood restaurant where they ordered fish and crab legs. “Thank you,” she smiled.

“I haven’t gone out to eat in a while actually, it was a nice treat.”

“It was nice.”

“But we have one more place to go before you get to take me and kill me off,” Nick laughed.

“How did you know?!” Nick paid the bill and then took Stacie to his next spot. When he pulled into the parking lot Stacie started laughing.

“What’s funny?” Nick asked.

“Oh, you’ll see,” she said as she got out of the car. The neon sign above them read, “Mini-Put Put”.

“You don’t like miniature golf?”

“I love it, just don’t stand near me when I’m putting,” she laughed and took Nick’s hand into hers.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“WATCH IT!” Nick yelled ducking his head on the last hole. “This is not hockey for the hundredth time.”

“I told you!” Stacie put her hand on her hip. “So did I win?”

“Sure ya did,” Nick patted her shoulder and she pouted. “No, actually I believe I’ve won in every way,” Nick said softly pulling her into him and placing his lips on her glossy ones.

“I think it’s a tie,” she smile back and kissed him.

“So, where did you want to go?”

“Umm, to the beach but towards where we met, on the jetty.”

“You got it.” Nick drove to the hill above the jetty and they carefully went down the hill to where the rocks were.
“Let’s sit,” Stacie took a seat up on a large rock and Nick sat close still holding her hand.

“You just want to remember me falling on my face, I know it.” Nick laughed.

“Damn who told you?”

“Just good like that,” Nick pushed his shoulder into hers. “What’s up though?” Stacie was quiet for a moment gathering the nerve to try to tell Nick a little about her self.

“Nick, these last two weeks have been great…”

“Uh-oh,” Nick said looking at Stacie.

“No no, just listen.”

“Sorry, go on.”

“But seriously I haven’t had this much fun in me in a long time and you’re to thank for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Nick.”

“Alright for real go on.”

“I don’t know what exactly we are, and I don’t really care because I just want things to happen on their own. I don’t know exactly what you want us to be or if this is just a fling?” Nick was about to say something and she held up a finger to his lips. “The last year or so I have been through a lot and I want to explain this,” she held up her wrist to Nick. He took that hand into his and kissed it.
“I was engaged to a guy I had been dating with for over five years and we were planning on getting married this summer actually. Well, about a year ago…actually a year ago the day we met….he died in an accident.” She took a moment to collect herself and keep from letting out the tears that threatened to fall. She felt Nick get closer to her and he rubbed her back.
“When he died, I died and I just didn’t have reason to live…so, one day I took a knife to my wrist. Yeah, to do real damage you need to do like both wrists but I have this blood condition. The doctor’s really aren’t sure what to make of it; it’s along the lines of anemia and diabetes. I know I’m weird, but my blood just flowed out of me like crazy when I cut my wrist. If Peyton hadn’t walked in when she did, I probably wouldn’t be here, with you today.” Stacie paused again, letting out a shaky breath.
“Nick, I need you to know that you’re not some rebound to me that I do have feelings for you and this is why I am telling you these things. I’ve been on other dates since the accident and you’re the first guy that I haven’t tried to get rid of; I guess that scares me. With you, I feel like myself again and whole and I’m taking the chance of ruining everything by having my feelings hang out there like this. I am not some head case girl with a sad story that everyone needs to pity and feel sorry for. I’ve kept pride in myself for staying as strong as I have been and I don’t want to lose that. I hate being weak and I especially hate showing weakness…” Stacie briskly wiped her now silent tears that rolled down her flushed cheeks uncontrollably. Although she tried to keep her cries in, a sobbed escaped, followed by another and Nick pulled her into his arms, holding her tight.

“Shh, don’t be afraid to cry around me please. It’s good to cry once in awhile and it’s not being weak,” Nick’s voice was soothing as he rubbed her back with his hands and placed small kisses on her head. “First of all, you are not some fling to me and I feel the exact same feelings as you do. You give me those butterflies I haven’t felt since I was fifteen, and you make me laugh and you show me how to live life.
“I’m glad you felt you were able to tell me everything out in the open like this. I don’t think you’re a head case at all; we’ve all been in situations we didn’t know how to handle. Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and you’re living proof baby doll. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much heartache and pain at such a young age but tonight, this does not make you weak at all. It just shows me how strong you really are.”

Nick continued holding Stacie, taking in the sound of the crashing waves onto the beach, smoothing her back and gently rocking her. After a while she sat up and looked at Nick.

“When’s the last time you’ve let everything just out?” Nick asked deeply into her eyes.

“I-I’m not sure? I think the night I tried to take my life.” She bit her lower lip thinking; Nick took her chin into his hand and kissed her lips.

“Oh baby, its okay to let it out, let me be the shoulder for you,” he kissed her cheek. Stacie closed her eyes and leaned against Nick, thankful for how understanding he was. She couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty for how comfortable she felt in his arms, or how easy it was to just open up the way she did.

“And so, it all came out, about Ryan’s accident, about me killing myself, about my blood condition…my feelings for him,” Stacie told Peyton in between sit ups.

“How did he take everything in?” She held onto Stacie’s feet counting.

“Surprisingly really well, he was sweet and didn’t judge me.”

“Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, my turn. But he’s also the first guy you’ve been able to be honest with and open right?”

“Yes.”

“You see I told you it would be fine and it means this is for real and you need to just keep doing what you’re doing. Yes, you’ve always been one to hide your emotions and feelings and just live life, but seriously, I haven’t seen you this way in a long time.”

“Twenty-one, you don’t think it’s too soon at all? I mean what would Ryan think?”

“I know he would be happy for you and this is what he would want. Stace, you know in your heart you’re ready you don’t even have to ask.”

“Twenty-nine, I know. He’s coming over tonight, we’re going to go roller blade. Thirty-three.”

“That’s great, awe I’m so happy for you girl.” Stacie continued to count with a huge grin on her face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The door bell rang and Stacie put her guitar down against the couch. She opened the door wearing jean shorts and a black tank top.

“Hey!” she smiled.

“Hey yourself,” Nick pulled her in for a hug. “You ready to watch a comedy?” Nick asked.

“What do you mean?” she laughed walking into the kitchen.

“Me on roller blades, not a pretty picture.”

“I’m sure you’re not that bad, water?” she opened the fridge and pulled out two waters.

“Please,” Nick walked towards the living room. “What’chya doing with your geetar?”

“Just playing around a little.”

“It’s a pretty nice Fender to be playing around a little,” Nick had picked up the black guitar with silver lining.

“It was a gift…” her voice trailed off and set the guitar in the case. Nick now had his hands on a spiral notebook. “Do you mind Carter?” she asked pulling the notebook away from him.

“What?! I’m just curious, was that a song? You have to play for me!”

“If you don’t fall more than two times then maybe I’ll play. Come on my blades are in my car.” The two headed out of the house and sat on the side walk to put on their roller blades.

“So, where are we going?”

“Just a little route, not too bad, passes by the beach.”

“Well, duh, I figured that if I were hanging with you I’d see the beach.”

“And do we have a problem with that?” she stood up and put her hands on her hips.

“Not at all,” Nick stood up, bracing his hands on his knees. “I think I should have more than a helmet on.”

“I don’t have a rubber suit for you, sorry.” She took Nick’s hand into hers and began skating.

“So, we may be going on a trip somewhere to work on some songs for the new album because the ones we have right now just aren’t…well, we’re not feeling them.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, we may be going to Colorado up in the mountains. We can get a private lodge there and pretty much private mountains to ski on. You’re the athletic type would you maybe, well want to go with us?” Nick had stopped a curb and was now looking into Stacie’s eyes.

“Skiing?” Her eyes squinted up at Nick. The sunset was bright and she was facing the sun.

“Yeah, with the fellas and I know it’s kind of a big move with us just meeting but I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to really get to know one another?”

“I’ve never been skiing?”

“Really? Awe it’s easy I’ll show you how.”

“I board.” She smiled.

“Yeah, I guess that makes more sense for you. So, what do you say?”

“Um…”

“If you want to think about it, that’s fine. We’re probably going to head out in a week or so.”

“You know what? I think that sounds like a lot of fun, I’m in!”

“REALLY?!” Nick’s voice sounded a little too excited and he tripped over his feet and fell to the ground. “I mean, really? Sweet.”

“Come on Carter,” she shook her head and reached her hand out to help him up. “And one more fall, and you don’t get to hear the song.” They continued to skate down the board walk and sat on a bench to watch to the sunset.

“How are you doing today?” Nick asked glancing at me. Stacie was staring in the direction of the sun.

“Good, how are you?” she smiled.

“I’ve been worried about you all day actually.”

“Why’s that?” she laughed lightly, still not taking her eyes off of the horizon.

“I know last night was probably a lot for you and I know how when something like that comes out of me, it usually takes me a day or two to really become myself again.”

“Nah, I’m fine,” she glanced down at her hands and Nick took one of them into his. “Really Nick, but that’s really sweet of you.” She now looked into his eyes. She couldn’t help but think how amazing he looked with the sun shining in his blue eyes and how his lips looked soft.

“Okay, I’m not going to keep bugging but you’ll tell me whenever you’re well, upset about anything?”

“That I can’t promise...but I will try. I mean I did come right out last night didn’t I?”

“Okay I’ll give you that.”

~*~*~*`
Two weeks had passed and the boys, including their girls arrived up in the large cabin in the mountains. Nick shivered as he walked into the door way with his suitcase.

“Remind me again why we didn’t go to the Bahamas to write like last time?” Nick whined.

“Because we did that for you lat time and I waned to ski, now deal!” A.J. slapped Nick upside his head and took off his snow boots.

“Nick its beautiful here, we have the sun and beach every day. Come on, the snow is like powder and this fire place is amazing!” Stacie ran over to it and Nick laughed.

“How are you so wide awake? We were up at three this morning!” Howie asked holding his girl friend Jen’s hand.

“So, I don’t know how you feel but we can either share a room or you can have your own? We have one extra because well, Kevin—”

“I’d like to share,” she smiled up at him taking his hands into hers. “Now, lets put our things away and go make snow woman!”

“Snow woman? Nick laughed walking up the giant stairs.

“Well, why do they all have to be men? That just doesn’t seem politically correct to me. I mean Frosty had a girlfriend right? So, I want to make one.”

“You’re a weird kid, you know that?”

“Oh, I do. Question is, do you know what you’ve gotten yourself into with me?”

“I think I have an idea,” Nick winked and led Stacie into a room. There was a queen sized four-post bed. A window seat faced out towards the mountains and the walls were all pine wood.

“Nick, this is, damn.” Nick laughed and set both of their suit cases on the bed.

“I know, I’m amazing,” he shrugged and Stacie jumped on him and he fell back onto the bed.

“You are,” she smiled and kissed his lips. Just as they started getting into the kiss she jumped up and unzipped her suitcase.

“What was that?!” Nick asked in surprise.

“I want to go outside, get some warm clothes on and let’s go!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Whose idea was it to make a snow woman?” Brian asked Howie.

“Nick’s crazy girl.”

“Well, she’s gotten all of our girls to join her madness.”

“I like her, I think she’s perfect for Nick,” Howie said as he and Brian rolled up balls of snow.

“No, I agree, she just has that something in her that makes just makes life brighter, ya know? I haven’t seen Nick this happy or mature with a relationship in a year. He was pretty much miserable before he met her.”

“I think its fate. I mean to Nick, she was the mystery surfer and then he trips over his big feet and she is his hero.”

“Nick, said she’s been through a lot. He hasn’t told me all of the details really but her fiancé passed away about a year ago, she has some kind of anemia too?”

“Wow, you couldn’t tell she’s been through all of that by looking at her. Alright you ready Rok?” Howie asked looking at the pile of snow balls they just made.

“They’re going to kill us you know this right?” Brian said with a grin.

“Yep. Ready, one-two-three FIRE!” Brian and Howie began throwing the snow balls at the girls and their snow woman. Before they realized it, the guys were being bombarded with the girls snow balls they had made.

“What did I tell you girls? Brian can’t be trusted to just enjoy the outdoors. We’re just lucky he didn’t plan anything with Nick,” Leigh told Jen, Amanda and Stacie. The girls laughed until they heard Nick’s voice.

“Guess again!” A.J. and Nick dumped a huge pile of snow onto the girls from a plastic bin they had found outside the cabin. By this time it was a full blown snow fight.

After a twenty minute snow ball war Stacie headed in for the house.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Nick asked wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I have to go take my medicine,” she stuck her tongue out at Nick and proceeded to walk towards the door.

“I thought you took it before we came out?”

“Oh, I did didn’t I?”

“What made you think you didn’t? Are you losing your mind?” Nick laughed.

“I just, I feel like I didn’t.”

“You don’t feel well?”

“Eh, I feel just drained.”

“You do look a little pale, maybe you need to eat. Why don’t you go inside and get some dry clothes on and I’ll get everyone in to start making dinner.”

“Okay,” she kissed Nick and walked inside.

“Hey fellas, let’s head in and make some dinner,” Nick called out.

“Good call,” Amanda patted Nick on the shoulder and headed in with A.J. and Leigh.

“Where did Stacie go?”Brian asked walking in with Nick.

“To get dressed, I told her we’d start dinner. I think she needs to eat soon.”

“Her sugar level dropping?” Brian asked.

“Yeah and she took her medicine before we came out, she even though she hadn’t taken it yet. When we get back home I want to help find her a specialist to help her. I think the problem is her doctor really doesn’t know what to diagnose her under. I mean part anemic and part diabetic? That doesn’t sit well with me.”

“I understand, I’ll help you out too man. I know what she means to you,” Brian told his friend sincerely.

“Thanks Bri, means a lot to me you support this.” Nick went upstairs to change out of his now wet jeans and he knocked on the door.

“Come in,” he heard Stacie’s voice. He opened the door and saw her lying on the bed wearing one of Nick’s over sized sweat shirts and a pair of pajama pants with wool socks. Nick couldn’t help but think how cute she looked curled up in a ball.

“Hey you, how are you doing?” he asked sitting on the bed, rubbing her back.

“Maybe I’m just tired from getting up early.”

“Could be. I see you helped yourself to my clothes.”

“I just like wearing them. Something about being in your shirt makes me feel safe.”

“How about in my arms?”

“That would be a little better I guess,” she joked.

“Let me get into some comfy clothes,” Nick stood up and went through his bag to find his flannel pants and another sweatshirt. When he was done he got into bed and put his arms around her. “I’m glad you came Anastasia.”

“Me too. Thank you for inviting me, I love it here.” She turned and faced him. She played with a draw string on his sweatshirt.

“Take a nap and I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready.”

“No, I’ll come down to help,” she sat up and then grabbed her head.

“Sit up too fast?” Nick asked worriedly and she nodded her head. “Take a nap, please.”

“I’m good!” she smiled put her legs over the edge of the bed. She didn’t want Nick worried about her but she also couldn’t help shake the feeling she had. She knew something wasn’t quite right. Brushing it off to the fact she needed to eat and was tired she walked over to Nick who was still sitting on the bed looking at her.
“Nick, I promise, I’m fine,” she kissed him and pulled him up.

“Okay,” Nick pulled her in for a hug. “I can feel you body shake baby.”

“Come on, let’s go make dinner.” She ignored Nick’s last comment and pulled his hand down the stairs.

“Am I really the only one who is snow boarding?” Stacie asked zipping up her coat and putting her hat on.

“We have extra skis if you—” Nick started.

“NO! I mean, that’s okay. I’ve never been and this just is more fun anyway, probably?”

“Alright. Brian are you sure Leigh didn’t want to come?”

“She wanted to just relax and read a little with Jen. A.J. is out with Amanda hooking up the skis onto the snow mobiles.”

“That is so sweet that we have to take those to get to the mountain. Is it really only going to be us?” Stacie asked excitedly.

“Just us. You ready?”

“Yep. I packed our lunches and they’re in the backpack.”

“Did you pack your medicine?”

“Yes, Nick.” Stacie’s voice was kind of in a warning tone, telling him to stop worry. The three went outside to where A.J and Amanda were already on one snow mobile.

“All set?” Amanda asked holding onto A.J.’s waist.

“I’m driving!” Stacie called out hopping onto the sled.

“No way!”

“She’s probably a better driver than you Nick,” Amanda laughed and A.J. and Brian agreed.

“Get on Carter,” Stacie started up the sled. A.J. took off and Stacie followed behind, with Brian following them with Howie on the sled with him. Within twenty minutes they reached the mountains. There was a small log cabin where they brought in their bags. The cabin had a bathroom, a table and fire place.

“Do you think you can teach me how to board sometime we’re here?” Amanda asked.

“Sure thing! It’s a blast.”

“Awesome, A.J. you should learn too!”

“I’ve done it once.”

“It wasn’t a pretty sight,” Nick laughed.

“Alright let’s go, it’s already ten am, I told Leigh we’d be back by three.”

“You got it Frick. Which side of the hill should we go on first?”

“We’ll go over to the east side where the sun is, there’s not a lot of rocks over there.” Everyone put their bindings on and then went outside to put their skis on.

“This is awesome, the fact we have to walk up the mountain to get down.”

“Who is this kid?” Nick asked to no one in particular.

“Nick, you’re just mad because you’re not in the best shape to get up this mountain,” Brian said matter of factly. “And well Stacia, she is.”

“Shut it Bri,” Nick warned.

“Both of you shut it and get moving!” A.J. was already heading towards the mountain and was making his way up. It took a good fifteen minutes to make up the east side of the mountain, it was a bit smaller than the west and north side but it was good for just starting out. They reached the top and took a few moments to take in the scenery.

“Beautiful,” Amanda said lifting her goggles up and placing them on the top of her head. Stacie looked around the mountain and finally got her eyes to meet the bottom of the hill. She took a step back holding her board and felt her heart begin to rise.

“Last one down has to do dishes on their own tonight!” Brian said as he fixed his binding on his ski.
“Brian, we’re old men and haven’t skied in probably two years. Anastasia over here is going to kick our ass.” Nick held onto his poles and skied over to Stacie. She was staring off down the mountain.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~A Year Ago~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, what do I get if I make down before you do?” Stacie asked smirking up at Ryan.

“You get me.”

“I already have you! I want you to then admit that snow boarding is better than skiing and you will tell your buddies that I kicked your ass down this sick hill!”

“You got it. And if I win?”

“You’ll get a special treat tonight,” she winked and he pulled her in for a kiss.

“I love you future Mrs. Ryan Atkins,” he kissed her again.

“I love you Mr. Atkins. Now you’re on!” She pulled away and they got ready to go down the hill.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Present~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Earth to Stacie,” Nick waved his hand in front of her face.

“Sorry, what were you saying Nick?”

“You ready to do this? We then have to go to the bigger hill; it’s actually easier than this hill because this one has more turns.”

“Uh, yeah I’m ready.” She told Nick and placed her feet onto the board, snapping them in.

Brian looked at Nick and Nick shrugged his shoulders. “This one you have to veer left towards the bottom right?” Amanda asked A.J.

“You got it babe, let’s do it,” A.J. started down the hill and Amanda followed with Howie.

“Come on Stace,” Nick called out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~A Year Ago~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Stacie was ahead of Ryan down the mountain; she glanced over her shoulder and saw that he was gaining up on her fast. The snow sprayed wet slush as Ryan passed her. She had eased up on her speed knowing that she would catch up to him on the second turn because of the steepness of the hill. She jumped over a small edge and landed smoothly back on the board and was almost up to Ryan.

Before she knew it, everything was happening so fast. She heard a loud snap and saw Brian just below her take a fall. They were on the steepest part of the mountain and knew that the best thing to do when you were in this kind of situation was to keep your body limp and wait until you stopped tumbling. She’s had her share of falls but Ryan was going so fast. There wasn’t a lot of snow on this part of New York where they were visiting friends.

“RYAN!” she kept calling out as she boarded down the hill as fast as she could to catch up to her fiancé. He didn’t stop until his body hit the pile of rocks on the mountain. He looked like a rag doll thrown around and as Stacie reached him, his body was limp. “RYAN!” she screamed as she reached where he was. She quickly got herself off of the board and threw herself next to him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Present~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Anastasia!” Nick yelled and shook her arm. She shook her head and looked at Nick with wide eyes. “Are you feeling alright baby? You keep zoning out.”

“Um, yeah, yes. I’m fine. You ready?!” she pulled on a fake smile.

“You don’t feel sick or light headed? You would tell me?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking of something, no big deal. I would tell you,” she put her goggles down over her eyes.

“Alright, let’s do it! Brian just went down; maybe we can try to catch him!” Stacie nodded her head and watched as Nick started down the mountain.

“It was a freak accident, he had bad bindings, this is different kind of snow,” she gave herself a pep talk and took in a deep breath. Letting it slowly she started down the hill. She couldn’t remember the last time she was nervous going down a hill, but she also hadn’t boarded since the accident. She soon caught up to Nick and watched as he skied with ease. He actually was pretty good. They were almost at the bottom of the hill when she saw Nick’s tip of ski get caught under and fell forward rolling down.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~A Year Ago~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Baby speak to me, Ryan!” both legs were bent in awkward angles. A large gash was open on his right temple with blood pouring out. “Ryan…SOMEONE HELP ME!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, tears pouring out. A ski patrol team was already on their way from a distance and people were gathering around the lifeless body and Stacie.

“Ryan, talk to me, open your eyes, help is coming baby,” her voice shook with fear. She took his hand into hers and she felt him squeeze it gently. She brought it up to her lips and kissed his now gloveless hand. She brought her face down to his and with his eyes still closed he whispered to her:

“I love you Angel. I’m so sorry…”

“No, shh, just save your energy.”

“I’m sorry, I’m always with you…” his voice trailed off.

“Ryan NO I love you!” she felt Ryan’s hand go limp and another skier checked his pulse. She looked up at the woman who had stopped to try to help. She thought she heard her mention that she was a nurse.

“I’m so sorry Miss—”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Present~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nick’s body stopped at the bottom of the hill and everyone else had skied up to him. She made down next to him.

“NICK!” she had screamed out as she knelt down by him with her board still on her feet. She threw off her goggles and gloves.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Nick said sitting up rolling his neck around.

“Nick man we just can’t let you do anything sports related any more,” A.J laughed.

“It’s NOT FUNNY!” Stacie yelled she now had tears streaming down her face.

“Hey there, Anastasia, I’m okay, I think I hurt my ankle again but I’m okay.” Nick took his glove off and reached for her hand.

“Accident’s happen honey, everyone’s okay,” Brian tried to console her.

“I-I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Nick,” she stood up, took her board off and walked briskly towards the log cabin.

“I’ll go check on her,” Amanda said and skied towards the direction Stacie took off.

“Way to go Nick,” A.J. slapped Nick’s head.

“I didn’t do that on purpose! My tip got caught!” he stood up with Howie and Brian’s help.

“You hurt?” Brian asked holding onto Nick still.

“I think I messed that ankle up again.” Nick tried to put weight on it and scrunched his face up. “Damn, I’m sorry guys.”

“I’ll go get a sled,” A.J. told the guys and skied away.

“Do you know why she got so upset? I mean she’s a snow boarder I’m sure she’s seen her fair share and experienced falls like that.” Howie asked Nick.

“I don’t know she’s been kind of weird since we’ve been here. I’m worried about her,” Nick shifted his weight a little.

“It doesn’t seem like her, I mean I don’t know her that well, but something isn’t right Nick.”

“I know. Damn, why did this happen on the first day?”

“It’s okay, we’ll get you home, we’ll work on some songs and you can rest this week while the rest of us ski.” Brian told Nick half jokingly.

“Great,” Nick mumbled.

“Did you see her board down that hill though? She was so graceful and looked like a pro!” Howie told the guys.

“She did look pretty hot,” Nick admitted. Amanda then came up to them with a sled.

“Where’s A.J.?” Brian asked as she hopped off.

“Well, he took Stacie back to the house, she kinda almost passed out.” Her eyes landed on Nick’s as she said that.

“What?! Is she alright?” Nick asked.

“I think so, I think she’s just freaked about what happened to Nick, she mentioned some other guy though, I think she said something about Ryan?” Brian and Howie helped Nick onto the sled.

“Who is Ryan Nick?” Howie asked.

“Oh man,” at that moment everything clicked to Nick. “We have to get back to her. Ryan was her fiancé; I think he died in a skiing accident. She never told me, but it just makes sense.”

“Poor thing,” Amanda said.

“I’ll get Nick back you guys meet us at the house,” Brian told them. He got on the sled and went back to the house. They reached the house and found A.J. out on the porch.

“Hey guys,” he walked up to Brian and Nick helping Nick get up the steps.

“Where is she?”

“Leigh is taking care of her upstairs. Give them a bit. Let’s get Nick taken care of.” They got Nick inside and him out of his snow pants.

“Have you talked to Leigh yet?” Nick asked Brian who had brought Nick out ice to put on Nick’s ankle.

“No, I’ll go up now to see if they need anything.” Brian disappeared up the stairs and knocked on Nick’s and Stacie’s door. Leigh answered. “How is she doing?”

“She’s doing better. I was scared when she first came in the house though. I thought I was going to have to call someone. How’s Nick?”

“He hurt his ankle but he’s worried about her. Did she tell you about Ryan?”

“Not really, I just tried to calm her down. She took her medicine but now she’s just kind of out of it. Who is Ryan?” As Brian was about to say something Stacie came to the door. She was in a turtle neck and jeans.

“Hey you.” Brian pulled her in for a hug. “Come on, someone wants to see you,” Brian kissed Leigh’s cheek. “You’re amazing,” he whispered in her ear and took Stacie’s hand and brought her downstairs. When Nick saw them come into the living room he stood up and limped over to Stacie.

“Oh, baby I’m sorry,” he pulled her into his arms. She held onto him tightly, burying her face into his chest.

“Nick, I’m sorry I freaked. I never told you, I thought if I just pushed it away I’d be fine for this trip. But when I got on top of the mountain the memories of that day came flooding back. And when you fell, I thought it was happening all over again.”

“Let’s sit down,” Nick sat on the large leather couch that sat in front of the roaring fire Leigh had made. Stacie tucked her knees up to her chest and still had her arms wrapped around Nick and her head lying down on his chest. “You could’ve told me on top of the hill and I would’ve walked down with you.”

“I thought the feeling and memories would just pass, I’m sorry.”

“Were you with him that day?” She nodded her head and began telling him everything that had happened from the beginning.

“And he was gone…just like that. Something we had done hundreds of times and he was gone. Nick I’m sorry but I just don’t think I can ski or board again.”

“Stop apologizing. Do you want me to take you home? We can get it arranged for the morning.”

“No, I want to be here with you. I can still have fun without going boarding.”

“If you change your mind just let me know. But honestly, I don’t think I’m going to be skiing for the remainder either.”

“Oh, how is your ankle?” She sat up and looked at Nick’s leg that was propped up on a pillow.

“It’s sore but it will be okay. I’ll be okay, and you’re going to be okay.” He pulled Stacie up to him.

“I know,” she smiled looking into his eyes.

The next day Stacie came clean with everyone in the house and told them about Ryan and his accident. She made sure to leave out the part where she went crazy because only Nick needed to know that. That was something special between the two, to allow them to trust one another.

Of course everyone understood and gave their condolences and she assured them that it was going to be a stress free trip while they were there.

The guys were in the living room, in comfortable clothes and each with his own guitar. Papers were spread out on the couches, floor and table. There was a discomfort in the room, even though a fire was going and the boys were wearing their pajamas still.

“Guys come on we have to focus, I know what we’re all thinking and feeling but we agreed we definitely need to have a few songs that are completely written on our own. And it’s not like Kev is gone forever, we can show him our stuff before we take it in,” Brian tried to rationalize with his brothers.

“I think we should join the girls,” A.J. said ignoring what Brian had just discussed. Brian threw up sheets of paper in the air and stood up.

“I’m getting some more tea,” Brian said.

“What are they doing again?” Howie asked.

“Anastasia is doing yoga with them in the upstairs sun room,” Nick said strumming his guitar.

“I agree with A.J.” Howie said nodding.

“No, we have to work. And I know we’re having a hard time with this, but Brian is having a harder time. I mean Kevin is the one who got him to join the group anyway,” Nick said.

Brian came back into the living room with a steaming cup of tea and took a seat. “We should keep going with this one,” he placed the cup down on the table and picked up a note sheet. “Nick’s got a really great idea and A.J. you added that one awesome melody part.” Brian picked his guitar up and started strumming:

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor
When I let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I'd tell you this

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls, yeah.
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call?
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable
Nooo, nooo, no

I don't want to be like this,
I just want to let you know,
Everything that I'm holding,
Is everything I can't let go, can't let go.

Cause’ Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Don't you know it baby
I don't want to waste another day

I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable
Yeah yeah, yeah, ohh, I’m inconsolable whooahhh, inconsolable

Backstreet Boys “Inconsolable”
Unbreakable –to be released October 30, 2007

Ch.14 “Lift Me Up”

Within two hours the boys had a completed song, a song that they felt Kevin would be proud of as well as their fans. They had the girls come down to hear the song and they each sat by their man listening. It was at this point that Stacie realized who she was with exactly and how it was such an honor to even know one of the boys. At the end of the song the girls clapped and Stacie wiped away a tear that had started rolling down her cheek. It was a beautiful and touching song.

“Amazing,” she told Nick simply. She kissed his cheek and he grinned ear to ear.

“You know, it was Nick’s idea for the song, he thought of inconsolable and what it meant to feel that,” Brian said trying to give Nick some brownie points.

“It was a great idea Nick, I haven’t really heard your other stuff for this album but I think it should be your first single.”

“You think so?” Nick asked pulling Stacie to his lap.

“I know so.”

“Ugh get a room,” A.J. threw a pillow at the two.

“A.J. leave them alone, they’re new love birds,” Jen said.

“Well, I need a food break. I say we make those pizzas in there tonight, I don’t feel like cooking.” Howie stood up with Amanda.
“Sounds good to me,” Leigh got up to help them.

“I need a nap,” Brian stood up, gave Leigh a kiss and headed up stairs.

“Uh, so do we…” A.J. pulled Jen’s hand and ran up the stairs.

“Sure you do Bone,” Nick called out laughing. “What do you want to do?” He turned his attention to Stacie. It was only them in the living room.

“Hmm, I want to play a little, may I?” she picked up Nick’s guitar. “Maybe you can give me some pointers?”

“I’d love to.”

“I started working on this song, a little after we met. The night I told you about—.”

“Okay give it to me.” Stacie tuned a few strings to fit her song; she cleared her voice and started.


When Stacie finished playing she kept her eyes on Nick as she did throughout the song. She couldn’t read his expression and set the guitar down.

“That bad huh?” she tucked her hair behind her ears.

“That was, you didn’t tell me, I thought you were working on a song not done with one?”

“Actually the last two stanzas I added just now they kinda just came to me.”

“Babe, that was remarkable. You have to play for the fellas later.”

“You really liked it?”

“I loved it!”

“Well, it’s yours.” Nick looked at her confused. “I wrote it because of you, if you want some of the lyrics or all or just a line for another song goes ahead. It could use a lot of tweaking but I don’t know. I’m crazy I know.”

“Anastasia I can’t believe I haven’t made you play or sing before.”

“I just I don’t know it was always something I’d play with time to time. I actually hadn’t started trying again until after I met you. It was like an ‘okay go’ thing for me. I used to all the time before Ryan passed away.”

“Stay here,” Nick kissed her forehead and stood up. He limped towards the kitchen and then came back a minute later with Howie, Leigh and Amanda.

“I’ll go get the others,” Leigh said heading for the stairs.

“Nick come on, at least help me with it first.”

“Stacia it’s a great song, you have nothing to worry about and I know you are not the shy type.”

“Okay, we’re here what is so important that couldn’t wait until later,” A.J. grumbled plopping himself on a chair with Jen in his lap. A minute later Leigh and Brian came down the steps together.

“Well, Anastasia has been keeping something from us, haven’t you?” Nick asked pushing the guitar towards her face.

“It’s really nothing guys, go back to whatever you were doing,” she pushed the guitar away.

“Hell no, I’m down here now. Do your thing,” A.J. gestured his hand to go on. Stacie took the guitar slowly and looked at Nick. He nodded his head and she started back up.

Lifting me up, lift me up

When I’m down on my luck and I’m searching for my soul, when I’m feeling too much and I start to lose control.
When I’m down so low that even enemies don’t want to know, you still care for me, say a prayer for me and I know, ooo I like you hanging around, ‘cause you lift me up when I’m upside down, ooo you are my favorite sound, ‘cause you’re always down for lifting me up…

Like an angel when I hit the ground, feel your arms all around me when I’m feeling down.
Lift me up like an angel when I hit my low, when your arms around me, I don’t want to let you go. Lift me up, lift me up. Let you go now. Lift me up, lift me up.

When I’m lost along the way I can’t face another day, if I stumble on the road if I can’t carry the load, if I lose my faith, kindness and generosity,

Would you hold my hand, say you understand my pain,
Ohh, I like you hanging around, ‘cause you lift me up when I am upside down, ohh you are my favorite sound, ‘cause you’re always down for lifting me up…

Like an angel when I hit the ground, feel your arms all around me when I’m feeling down.
Lift me up like an angel when I hit my low, when your arms are around me, I don’t want to let you go. Let you go now.

It’s been a long hard road and it’s only just begun my friend,
And this I know you help me carry the load
‘Cause you’re always there for lifting me up…

Like an angel when I hit the ground
Feel your arms around me when I’m feeling down,
Lift me up like an angel when I hit my low, when you’re always around, you’re my favorite sound.

Lift me up like an angel when I hit the ground, feel your arms all around me when I’m feeling down, lift me up like an angel when I hit my low, when your arms are around me, I don’t want to let you go,
I don’t want to let you go, ohhh, ohhhhohhh,ohhhohhhh
You’re my favotire sound, lift me up yea yea, ohhh, ohhhhhh
Lift me up, now, when you’re always around you’re my favorite sound, lift me up.

Backstreet Boys
“Lift Me Up”
Album Unknown?


At the end of the song everyone was quiet. “Again with the silence, you could at least give me a fake clap,” Stacie joked

“You wrote that?” Brian asked running a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

“Yeah?” Stacie bit her bottom lip and looked at Nick.

“What do you think guys?” Nick asked.

“I think someone has some talent that needs to be explored into more,” Howie exclaimed.

“Damn girl,” was all A.J. had to say.

“That sounds something that Nick would write,” Leigh told Stacie. “It was great.”

“Well, I told Nick that if you guys are stuck on writing something, you can go ahead and pull it apart and add or take or whatever. Or it will just sit in my mind to be lost some day.”

“No, that’s your song but I have an idea,” Brian said with a grin. “How about you sing it on our next album and we can do back ups for you?”

“Or you can just have the entire song, really.”

“Come on it would be fun!” Nick said excitedly.

“I’ll think about it Carter. Is that pizza ready yet D?”

“In about fifteen minutes. We got the wheat Dijorno. Nick said it was your favorite kind.”

“Aww actually I hate it.”

“WHAT?!” Nick yelled.

“Chill,” Stacie laughed. “I do love it. And so do you, admit it.”

“I do guys, it’s the truth.” Everyone decided to eat the pizza and put a movie in and relax for the rest of the evening. Nick sat up against the couch and Stacie lied down on his lap.

“So, will you really record this song with us?” Nick asked playing with Stacie’s hair.

“If you guys really want me to and aren’t just trying to be nice about the song,” she replied, her eyes half closed.

“We do want you to, I want you to. The song is great, you need to give yourself more credit than that. Are you even listening to me?” Nick realized her eyes were closed.

“Hmm? Sorry Nicky, I’m sleepy.”

“Eat your pizza it’s getting cold,” Nick took the last bite out of his.

“Not hungry,” she rolled over to her side, so her face was facing Nick’s stomach.

“Why are you sleepy? It’s only seven.”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled and within minutes she was asleep on Nick’s lap.

“We need a rock song on here next,” Nick argued with Howie who wanted to put some Latin flavor into the album.

“We already have a rock song Nick, we need a little Latino love from yours truly,” Howie laughed.

“Guys relax, I’ve got it, we’re going to go with some blues,” A.J. threw his hands up in the air. Brian shook his head and wished Kevin were there.

“Let’s just mix it all in,” Nick suggested.

“And we’ll have even less fans than we do now,” A.J. slapped Nick upside his head.

“HEY!” Nick cried.

“Let’s work on this one,” Brian showed a sheet that him and A.J. had started a while ago. No one disagreed and they continued to work.

A couple of hours later they heard Leigh, Amanda and Jen come into the house.

“Hey guys, how is the writing going?” Leigh asked giving Brian a kiss holding two bags in her hand.

“Surprisingly well right now, we just got almost two songs done,” Brian told his wife. “Find anything at the outlet?”

“There were a few cute stores, we got a few things,” Amanda said sitting on Howie’s lap.

“Yeah, there were some cute things. There was a cool snow boarding store, I wish Stace would’ve come, I think she would’ve loved it,” Jen added.

“I haven’t seen her all morning where is she?” Howie asked Nick. Nick looked down at his watch; it was already one-thirty.

“Sleeping I guess?” Nick set his guitar down and stood up.

“Damn, she’s got me beat if she’s been asleep since seven last night,” A.J. laughed. Nick headed up for the stairs and into his room. He went in quietly and saw the bead spread still pulled up to Stacie’s chin and her curled up in a ball, just like he had left her at ten that morning. He sat down gently on the bed and rubbed her back.

“Baby it’s time to wakey,” Nick spoke softly. When she didn’t respond he leaned in and kissed her. She let out a low murmur and fluttered her eyes open. When she saw Nick she smiled.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” Nick said back and kissed her again. “It’s one-thirty sleeping beauty, time to get up.”

“Really? I feel like I just went to bed,” she rolled to her back and rubbed her eyes.
“You feel okay?” Nick asked looking into her eyes.

“I feel tired,” she sat up and leaned against the headboard. Nick brought his hand up to her forehead. “You feel a little warm.”

“I’ve been under ten blankets,” she laughed and pulled the blankets away from her and stood up. Nick watched as her night gown hung on her just above her knees. The sea foam green silk looked great on her tan skin and long legs. She then brought her hand up to her head and grabbed a post on the bed with the other. Her knees buckled and she fell down on them hard.

“Stacie!” Nick jumped up and knelt down by her. “What is it?” Nick had his arm wrapped around her.

“I’m just a little light headed, I’m fine,” she tried to pull herself up but felt too weak. Nick watched as she struggled and when her body trembled he picked her up into his arms and placed her on the bed.

“Are you still light headed?” Nick asked holding her hand.

“No, it’s gone,” she smiled up at him. “Could you get my medicine for me? They’re in a small black pouch in the bathroom mirror. Just bring the whole thing.”

“Of course,” Nick stood up and briskly walked to the bathroom, within seconds he was back with the bag and a cup of water. Stacie’s shaky hand unzipped the bag and took out a prescription bottle first. She pressed down on the cap and turned it but couldn’t get it off.

“Dammit,” she muttered and tried again. Nick gently took the bottle and opened it up.

“How many?”

“One,” she held her hand out and Nick tapped the bottle until one pill spilled out. She put it in her moth and took the water from Nick. She closed her eyes as she swallowed the large pill. She then opened up another case, the pink case that was used to test her blood sugar levels and insulin. As she opened the box she tilted her head back and let it rest on Nick.

“What can I do for you baby?” Nick asked rubbing the top of her hand with his thumb. At this point Stacie was frustrated for being so weak and being weak in front of Nick. She didn’t know why she was like this; it hadn’t been this bad in a while.

“I need that thing with the green button; I have to prick my finger on it.” Nick picked it up and brought her hand to it. She extended her index finger and told Nick to press down on the button. He did and it made a clicking noise and it was done. “Show me the numbers,” Nick held up the contraption and showed her the numbers. He had no idea what the numbers meant and she nodded her head.

“What does that mean?” Nick asked.

“I’m just a little lower than usual this morning. I’ll be fine as soon as I take my insulin.”

“Do you just stick it in your arm?” Nick looked at the shots. She shook her head no and lifted up her night gown.

“Don’t get any ideas Carter,” she joked and pulled down her underwear a little to show where the insulin went. “This plastic thing is like an IV; it’s just connected into me and makes sure the insulin goes right to my blood. I can do this part if you want.” She sat up a little and reached for one of the shots.

“Show me how to help,” Nick was sincere and he kissed her hip bone near the IV. She couldn’t help but smile and told Nick what to do. He carefully took the top off, gave it a small squirt and placed it into the IV. He looked into Stacie’s eyes for reassurance. She nodded her head and he pushed it in. “Does it hurt?” he asked.

“Once in a while it gets irritated but no. Okay there’s a white plastic tube that the needle has to go to. Every month I have to return them to a special place for safety reasons.” Nick found the white tube and put it in. He picked everything up and put it on a night stand.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I’m sorry for that. That doesn’t usually happen; actually it hasn’t happened since before I was diagnosed.”

“Maybe we should get you looked at?”

“No, please it’s not a big deal.”

“Anastasia you almost passed out yesterday Leigh said and you almost did this morning. You slept like eighteen hours.”

“You have no idea about this, I’m fine. I promise.” She leaned into Nick and gave him a kiss.

“You would tell me?”

“If I were really worried then yes I’d tell you.”

“How come I don’t feel better from that answer?”

“Nick trust me.”

“I do, I just worry and we’re out here, it’s an hour to get to the town.”

“You’re sweet,” she stood up slowly out of bed and Nick helped her.

“You’re still shaky,” he warned.

“Hmm, maybe you should help me in the shower then,” she winked at Nick.

“I think it’s best just for safety.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you? I mean we could have the whole place to ourselves…”

“Nick, go skiing with everyone and have fun. I’m just going to work on a song. Besides we can have alone time whenever we’re back home as it is. Okay that should support it, just be easy.”

“Do you bring your medical tape and all that with you wherever you go?” Nick asked examining his newly taped ankle.

“It came in handy didn’t it?”

“Yes, thank you very much,” Nick gave her a kiss. “Okay last shot,” Nick warned.

“Go, but please come back to me in one piece along with everyone else.”

“I will, don’t worry while we’re go. We will probably be back just before or a little after dark. Tomorrow is our last full day here and we want to get in as much as possible today. Tomorrow you’ll come on the trials with us on the snow mobiles?”

“Absolutely, I’m excited for that. Now go!”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“I will. Have fun,” she gave Nick a hug and a small kiss and walked him to the door. “Bye guys!” She yelled out into the cold air and waved.

After Nick left she decided to start working on a song that had come to her since coming to the lodge. The rest of the day was spent playing her guitar, reading a book she brought by Nicholas Sparks, her favorite author and at five she made dinner for everyone for when they came back. She made a chicken dish with mushrooms and cheese with broccoli she had the girls pick up at the market the day before.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Oh man I haven’t been this tired since after our last tour a few years ago,” Brian said taking his boots off.

“Yeah, we need to start getting back into shape before touring,” A.J. agreed as he unzipped his coat and hung it on a hook in the foyer.

“Don’t look at me, I’ve been running,” Nick smirked. “We came in just at the right time though, it’s a blizzard out there!”

“We should listen to the news later at ten to find out if its going to clear up by tomorrow or not?” Howie suggested.

“Shh be quiet when you guys come in, Stacie’s sleeping in the living room,” Amanda poked her head around the corner.

“Sleeping? It’s like only seven,” Brian looked at Nick.

“Nap I guess?” Nick finished taking his wet clothes off and went into the living room where Stacie laid on the couch curled up in a ball. He took a seat next to her and brushed a piece of hair out of her face. “Hey you, I’m home.” Nick shook her gently and watched as she slowly opened her eyes.

“Hey,” she smiled. “What time is it?”

“Seven, we just got home.”

“Damn, I fell asleep like at like five. Oh, I made you guy’s dinner, it’s in the oven.”

“Awe you shouldn’t have done that, thank you. I’m going to just go change and I’ll be back down.” Stacie nodded towards Nick but closed her heavy eyes. When Nick came back down she was almost back to sleep. “Sleepy head get up, you’ll never go to bed tonight. Everyone’s getting ready to eat in the kitchen.”

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled not opening her eyes.

“You’re always hungry come on. Did you eat already?”

“No, I’m sleepy.”

“When did you eat last today?” Nick asked and she shrugged her shoulders. “Anastasia, come sit up,” Nick pulled her shoulders so she was up right and leaning against the couch. “When did you eat last?”

“I had half a turkey sandwich at one,” she rubbed her eyes. “Nick, I think I’m going to go to bed up stairs.”

“Let’s get some food in you first okay? For me?” She nodded her head and Nick stood up, pulling her arms, bringing her up to him. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Come on love birds’ food is on the table,” Howie walked into the living room.

“Be right there,” Nick answered. “Babe you feel really warm,” his cheek was on her forehead. “You don’t feel well do you?”

“I think I just may be getting a cold,” she looked up into Nick’s eyes. She had dark circles under her own eyes and her face was peeked.

“Do you think you could try to eat? Maybe it’s your blood sugar down?”

“I’ll try.” Hand in hand they walked into the kitchen where everyone was sitting down at the large table.

“Thanks for making dinner Stace, it’s wonderful,” Brian smiled. There was a chorus of ‘yes’, ‘terrific’ and ‘thank you’s.’

“My pleasure,” she smiled brightly trying to cover the weak/sick feeling she had been feeling all day.

Nick served her a half a piece of chicken breast and a small piece of broccoli onto her plate. She was able to eat about half of each and tried to stay with it enough to reply back when someone spoke to her. About half way through dinner she had this over powering feeling of nausea and lightheadedness. She reached next to her and grabbed Nick’s thigh. Nick looked at her trying to read her eyes.

“Excuse me,” she smiled politely not looking up from the table and walked out of the kitchen and headed for the stairs. Reaching the first step she collapsed onto her knees in pain. “Ugh why now?” she asked in frustration holding her stomach.

“Stacie what’s wrong?” Leigh was by her side. She was shocked it wasn’t Nick’s but also relieved.

“I-uh-I tripped, I’m alright,” she grabbed the banister and tried to pull herself up but was unsuccessful.

“I’m getting Nick,” she turned away.

“Wait!” Stacie yelled.

“What? You need help Stace,” Leigh said in concern.

“Don’t let anyone else find out please.” Leigh nodded her head and left. Within seconds Nick was kneeling on his knees.

“Anastasia…” Nick’s voice whispered.

“Take me up stairs please?” her voice in that child’s tone and Nick only picked her up with ease and brought her up to their room. He put her on the bed and he lied on his side facing her.

“I need to take you to the hospital. I can’t sit back and watch you in pain.”

“Nick, no I think it’s just the flu and when I get sick it’s not your average lay on the couch and rest for a few days. That’s it. I’m sorry it happened now. I feel horrible.”

“You have to stop pushing me away and let me in if we’re going to make this work Babe it’s not your fault, we leave in two days. Have you been feeling like this all day though?”

“On and off, I just slept whenever I felt like this. Nick I don’t want others to really know and Leigh…”

“She whispered in my ear when she came in. She might tell Brian but that’s it and he already knows you’re not feeling the greatest. Let’s get you ready for bed and I’ll lay down with you.”

Stacie woke up before Nick and like she did every morning before doing anything else, she got up, went to the bathroom and took her medicine. When she walked back into the room Nick was still sleeping, on his back. She quietly got back into the bed and pulled back the sheets from Nick’s body. He slept with his shirt off, something she loved about him and she sent a trail of kisses from his hip, over his tummy, over to the side of neck; a few kisses on the cheek, one in the ear and landed on his lips. At this point he was kissing back.

“Mmm someone is feeling better this morning,” Nick smiled and began kissing again.

“I guess…I….just…needed to sleep…” Stacie kissed in between her words. “Now time for some chocolate chip pancakes and snow-mobiling!” She jumped out of bed and Nick grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.

“In a few minutes, besides I don’t want you over doing it today,” Nick pulled her in for a kiss.

“It’s nine am already! And I won’t over do it. Get your butt up!” she got out of bed and through some clothes on. When she was done, Nick was back under the sheets with a pillow over his head. “NIIICK! Come help!” she pulled the sheets away.

“I’m supposed to be on vacation and in a few months I’m going to be getting up every day at like six.”

“Right so think of this as time spending with me,” she pulled on his hand.

“Okay I’m up,” Nick sat up with his hair disheveled in every which way. “I’m going to go shower I’ll meet you down stairs?” He pulled her in for a hug.

“Sounds good,” she smiled brightly at him and bounced down the stairs. Nick shook his head at how he couldn’t believe how alive she was today compared to last night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Alright guys at three pm there is supposed to be a big storm heading this way, we have to be sure to be in before then. That gives us about four hours to do the trails. Nick no wondering!” Brian warned.

“What?! It was a one time thing!” Nick defended himself.

“You are going to have to tell me about that later,” Stacie laughed getting onto the sled.

“Only if I can drive!”

“No way! Not after what Bri just said.”

“I’m not telling you the story then,” Nick stuck his tongue out.

“What story Nick? You tried to take a short cut saying you’d beat us home and you ended up getting lost for two hours. We thought we weren’t going to find out!” A.J. laughed shaking his head.

“Oh Nick, you are not driving at all!” Stacie started up the sled. The five sleds were started within minutes and we all took off towards the trails in the woods. Supposedly they were meant for the snow mobiles and were made fresh every year. Nick held onto Stacie’s waist and she maneuvered through trees and branches, following Howie and Amanda.

They continued to go through the trail for two hours and they pulled off to the side where Howie had. Everyone got together and turned off of their snow mobiles.
“I think the storm is coming sooner than planned, I can barely see in font of me,” Howie said looking around.

“Yeah we should head back home, it’s getting cold fast,” Jen said wrapping her arms around A.J.

“Alright, we’ll take the lead,” Brian said getting on and turning his sled around.

“Nick will you drive?” Stacie asked.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed you’re doing a fine job.”

“I’m just getting tired.” Nick gave her a look saying ‘you over did it.’ “I’m okay I just don’t want to wear myself out.”

“Alright, hold onto me tight. I think we’re going to pick up the pace.” Stacie nodded and put her helmet on. Nick started up and everyone was headed back home trying to beat the storm. They sky was now dark and the snow was falling hard, Stacie was glad she lived in California so she never had to face winter. Her face was buried into Nick’s back as she held onto him tight. Nick stopped and she lifted her head to see what was going on.

“Brian what’s the deal?” A.J. asked.

“I’m not sure if we go straight or left here? See how the trail goes in two ways but the snow is too thick to go left here but I think that’s what we have to do?”

“No, go straight,” Stacie spoke up.

“Are you sure? I thought that will take us to the mountain,” Brian questioned.

“It does but there will be another left about a half mile down, I remember this fallen tree when we passed it. You’re fine, go straight and then you’ll see where you’ll have to turn.”

“Alright,” Brian agreed. Everyone got ready again to continue to their journey home. It took longer to get home than before because of the snow but eventually within three hours they made it. They put the snow mobiles away in the garage.

“I thought you left the lights on Jen?”A.J. asked his girlfriend.

“I did, they were on when we left.” Howie opened the door and they made their way inside.

“Uh, guys we have now power,” Howie announced flicking the lights on and off.

“Great, alright, find some candles and Nick come with me to get some wood for the fire,” Brian took charge of the matter.

“Why me?” Nick whined.

“Nick you go find some candles I’ll get the wood,” Stacie took Brian’s arm and went outside where the wood was before Nick could say anything.

“Thank you my Dear,” Brian smiled. “So you’re doing okay today? Leigh told me about yesterday, I wanted to ask all day but I know you don’t want everyone to know.”

“Yeah I’m alright thanks. And I appreciate you not making a big deal.”

“Well, I know Nick probably already is. He’s not good with that kind of stuff. You should’ve seen him with me when I had my heart surgery. But he is worried about you; I understand that your doctors aren’t real sure what the problem is with your blood?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how they don’t know, I mean it’s not like I was born with it, it just sort of developed one day.”

“What do you mean?” Brian stacked some wood into her arms.

“I got sick on and off quite frequently when I hit seventeen. They took it as diabetes. Then as I hit eighteen and nineteen, I was still getting sick and lost a lot of weight, would get these nose bleeds if I cut myself just a little it would bleed for hours; okay that was anemia.

“And now?”

“I think I’m more anemic if anything. Yes, my blood sugar still drops every morning but doesn’t everyone’s? Once in a while in the afternoon, or if I haven’t eaten my blood sugar level also drops. I just felt better before I started taking the insulin. The doctors don’t believe me though. I had that one real scare when, well I cut myself and I just bled and bled.”

“I know this great doctor in L.A. I’d like you to go see him when we get back some time, if you don’t mind? Just get some blood tests and see what he has to say?”

“That would be great thanks Brian.”

“It was Nick’s idea but I just thought of someone for you. Come on let’s get a fire started.” They brought the fire wood inside and began building a fire.

“It is FREEZING in here!” Amanda said plopping onto the couch.

“It’s below 50; I don’t know what to do to get it start working. I don’t think we can anyone out either in this weather.” A.J. said sitting in a chair with Jen.

“Well, we’ll just have to have a sleepover!” Stacie stood up from putting the last log into the fire.

“What?” Nick asked lying on the couch.

“Everyone go get your PJ’s on, bring down blankets and pillows. We have marshmallows to make smores and we’ll have a sleep over. Now get moving!” Stacie yelled with excitement.

“You heard the woman, get your butts up!” Brian laughed.

By the time everyone got settled with their things down stairs Brian had a roaring fire going, Leigh started preparing everything for the smores.

“Now what?” Nick asked.

“You are a party pooper tonight do you know that?” Stacie asked.

“Am not! But coming home with not electric and heat for your last night is—”

“Romantic,” Stacie cut him off. “Come on it will be like we’re in high school.” The girls laughed and agreed and the guys looked at them confused.”

“The guys never had much of a high school with sleep over’s non-the-less,” Leigh told Stacie.

“I say we crack open those bottle of wine we have,” Amanda said getting up.

“Agreed,” Jen stood up and followed her into the kitchen.

“Did we drink wine in high school?” Howie looked at A.J.

“Nah but this is better than high school,” A.J smiled.

“Okay wine for everyone!” Jen handed a glass to everyone and Amanda started pouring.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“And then Nick totally fell off the stage and one of the body guards caught him! Priceless!” A.J. laughed.

“Enough with the Nick stores!” Nick pouted finishing up his third glass of wine.

“No no no, keep them coming!” Stacie laughed sitting on Nick’s lap.

“Is it warm in here?” Howie asked pulling on his sweatshirt. Brian stood up and bolted to the thermostat.

“It’s actually up to fifty-five degrees now!”

“It feels like ninety,” Howie laid his head against the chair he was leaning on.

“It’s the wine babe,” Amanda patted his hand.

“Let’s play a high school game,” Jen sat on top of A.J.’s lap.

“Such as?” A.J. asked. “Get off your boyfriends lap?”

“No silly!” she slapped him playfully. “Truth or dare?!”

“Oh no, I’m out of this one!” Nick said.

“Why Nick do we have some secrets?” Stacie whispered into his ear.

“No I just am not a dare person.”

“Fine, you can tell all the truths! Jen you go first, you suggested it,” Stacie said taking a sip of wine.

“I dare A.J. to run outside naked,” she laughed.

“Hey keep this PG, we don’t want to see A.J.’s goods, we just ate!” Brian laughed.

“Fine, A.J. take your shirt off and run outside.”

“That’s it?”

“And dive into the snow.”

“You want me sick?”

“It’s for thirty seconds, just go!” She pulled A.J. up and pushed him towards the door. A.J. looked at Brian who only shrugged his shoulders. A.J. took his shirt off and ran out the door and everyone ran to watch him as he dove into the snow. A few seconds later he came in yelling like a girl. Jen put a blanket around him.

“It’s effing cold out there you nut!”

“It’s just a game. Your turn!” They walked back and A.J. sat right next to the fire.

“This is for the newbie to the group,” A.J. smirked.

“Great,” Stacie mumbled.

“Truth or dare my dear?”

“Hmm, dare.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, he does crazy ones, we used to do this when we first started touring,” Nick told her.

“Eh, I’m a big girl bring it.”

“See that pull up bar there? Yeah, Kevin installed that about a year ago last time we were here to work out. Swing on that and jump.” Stacie thought that was a silly dare but saw that the bar was pretty high up.

“You going to give me a boost?” She looked at Nick.

“A.J. you’re going to kill her. That’s like seven feet up, Kevin always had to jump to get that.”

“Nick, trust me,” she winked and put her hair up into a messy bun. She took off her rings, she had three on and put them on the table. She then walked over to wear the bar was, moved a chair out of the way that was in front of it.

“Ready?” Nick asked.

“Yup,” she put her arms up in the air and Nick too her waist and as she jumped lifted her to the bar. Everyone watched as she swung these giant swings four times and on the fourth one she let go and did a back tuck and landed on her feet.

“What the?!” A.J. yelled standing up. Stacie started laughing.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you I did gymnastics for about ten years of my life?” she walked over and put her rings back on.

“You never told me that, you didn’t list it in your favorite sports that one night,” Nick told her.

“I forgot?” she sat back down. “Damn that was hard with that wine in me, I didn’t think I was going to land it,” she laughed and finished up her glass. “Okay my turn, Nick truth or dare?”

“After that I’m going with truth,” he sat next to her.

“Truth hmm…okay. Let me think,” she poured some more wine into her glass. “Okay, tell me the truth. What am I to you? Just someone to take with on this little vaca or are we well a couple?”

“Damn girl you get right to the point,” A.J. said. “Go on Nicky, answer the question,” he smirked.

“We are—.” He sat up more in his chair. “Well, I’m not sure. What do you want to be?”

“Nick I think we know what I want but the ball is in your court, it’s your truth not mine.”

“She has a point Nicky.”

“Shut it A.J. Look Anastasia—”

“Uh oh the full name here we go,” Stacie cut Nick off.

“I like you, that’s obvious but I don’t know if we should be girlfriend/boyfriend yet. I don’t want to rush since you—”

“Since I what?”

“You know with Ryan and…” his voice trailed off.

“Say it Nick, since my fiancé was killed, it has only been a year since he’s been gone. I thought you told me you knew it wasn’t like that. God you’re just like the rest,” she emptied the full glass of wine into her mouth and put on the coffee table.

“Stace it’s not like that.”

“Whatever Nick you’ve made it quite clear,” she stood up and went up the stairs into the room.
~*~*~*~
“Nick I thought you really liked her?” Brian asked carefully.

“I do man, I’m falling for her, harder each day but I just don’t think she’s ready.”

“You’re not the one to decide that Nick. She’s a big girl, yes she’s been through a lot but only she can tell if her heart is ready,” Leigh told him.

“Go apologize,” Brian told Nick.

“I don’t know maybe I should give her till morning to cool off,” Nick said looking up the stairs.

“Nick, if you wait that long then she will not talk to you and you can’t let her sleep up there she’s going to freeze,” Leigh hit Nick upside the head.

“Ugh stop that!” Nick stood up and mumbled something else as he made his way up the stairs. He got to the room and took in a deep breath. Letting it out slowly he knocked on the door. There was no answer and Nick knocked again.
“Stace can I come in?” Nick tried the door knob, it was locked. “Stacie, I’m sorry. It’s just the wine in me.” Nick lied. It took him more than a few glasses of wine to even be tipsy.
“I want to talk; I don’t want to go to bed mad at each other. Besides you can’t sleep in there, you’ll freeze. I took the blankets down stairs.” After Nick said that he heard foot steps and the door unlocked. Nick waited a moment and tired the door knob again. This time it opened. He pushed the door open slowly and she was in front of the mirror brushing her hair.

“So talk,” she said looking at Nick through the mirror.

“Turn around,” he pulled her legs around from the bench she was sitting on so she was now facing him. “Anastasia I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting that kind of question and in front of the guy’s non-the-less.”

“I know and that part was my fault I’m sorry. I become bolder with those kinds of things when I’ve had a few. But did you have to pull the dead boyfriend card Nick?”

“I really didn’t mean to, I mean a part of me feels that way but I know that only you can decide if you’re ready or not. Honestly, I’m just afraid of being hurt myself.” Stacie put the brush down.

“Nick I’m not going to hurt you, I need you to trust me,” she took his hands into hers.

“I do trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, and for it to be this early in the relationship scares me. But honestly, it’s a good scare. Baby I’ve fallen for you hard and each day I just continue to fall. I just don’t want to hit bottom and not have you be there,” Nick was full of emotion and Stacie thought Nick was even going to start crying.

“I promise you Nick that I’m not going anywhere in the near future and when and if you do hit bottom, I’m going to be there to pick you up.”

“I want us to be a couple Stace, I’m only happy when I’m with you,” he pulled her to his lap and she sat on his one leg.

“I want us to be together too,” her face was inches from Nick’s and she kissed his lips.

“So, to end our high school night, will you be my girlfriend Anastasia?”

“I would love to be Nickolas,” she kissed him again.

“Let’s go tell everyone the great news and warm up down there,” he stood up.

“Okay!” holding hands they went downstairs.

“Did we kiss and make up?” A.J. asked.

“Guys this is my girlfriend, Anastasia, Anastasia, the guys!” Nick grinned. Everyone laughed and they continued talking and finishing up the four large bottles of wine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Now I remember why I prefer beer,” Anastasia sat up holding her head.

“Agreed,” Leigh rubbed her temples.

“I know we’re all a little hung over this morning but we need to get moving if we’re going to make it to our plane in this weather,” Howie told everyone looking out the window.

“Nick time to get up,” Stacie shook Nick. “We have to go pack come on.”

“What time is it?”

“Seven.”

“What?! Our plane leaves at one.”

“We need to clean and pack and it’s going to take like two hours to get to the airport. Come on.” Everyone moved around the house as fast as their bodies would take them to clean and pack up. Within an hour and a half everyone was ready and had the van packed up.

“I am so ready to go lay back out in sunny Cali!”Amanda signed leaning on Howie.

“I’m ready for my waves,” Stacie agreed. Brian drove the van to the airport where they checked in and on got on their flight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, give me a call later on boyfriend?” Stacie asked leaning into Nick kissing him.

“I think I can do that,” Nick smiled as he walked Stacie up to her door. “Girlfriend.” They laughed and Stacie stuck her key into the door and watched as it pushed opened with ease.

“Uh, Nick? My door was already unlocked.”

“Did you forget to lock it maybe?”

“No,” she pushed the door open all the way and reached around the door frame to turn on the light.

“Wait, don’t go in. There is broken glass. I’m going to call the cops,” Nick took out his cell phone.

“I doubt they’re still here Nick,” Stacie went to step in and Nick pulled her arm to him.

“Hi, I’d like to have a cop come check out a possible break in please…32 West Palm, Palm Town Homes. Yes, the door was unlocked and there is broken glass just inside the walk way. Nickoals Carter, it’s actually my girlfriend’s home…okay thank you.” Nick hung up the phone. “Someone is on their way.”

“You’re being over protective.”

“Well, if someone did break in and they aren’t there you still need to fill out a report.”

“I just want to un- pack and relax after the plane ride,” Stacie leaned against the building and slid down.

“I know. Look someone is here right now,” Nick pointed to the police car that parked up to the building.

“Are you Mr. Carter?” the cop asked.

“Yes, this is my girlfriend, Anastasia and her house. The door was unlocked and we didn’t think we should go in before getting it checked out.”

“Smart thinking, Robert’s let’s go,” he signaled his partner over to the door. The two took out their guns and flash lights walking into the apartment. They walked around for about ten minutes and came back out.

“Everything is clear, but the lock was broken off your door. Could you please walk around with us and give us a statement as to if anything is missing,” Robert’s asked.

“Yeah,” Stacie sighed and walked in with the two cops. She went from the living room, into the dinning room and kitchen looking around. The broken glass was from a picture frame of her and Ryan on their vacation to the Alps. The first cop, his name tag said Danido took some finger prints on the glass.

“Everything seems to be here, there is an up stairs and basement too though.”

“Let’s go up stairs first and check out any valuables,” Roberts told her walking up the stairs. Stacie went into her room and looked in her jewelry box, checked to see her DVD player and TV were still there and shook her head.

“No, everything is here,” she turned the light off and went into the office room next to hers. “Someone has been in here,” she whispered. “I don’t ever leave papers around like this.” She picked up some papers for work on the floor and put them on her desk.

“Did you leave your computer on Mam?”

“No, I was on vacation,” she hit her mouse and the screen savor went off. The computer had a blue screen on it reading error, task terminated.

“Do you know of anyone who may want something of yours? Any enemies?”

“No, I have no idea?” she was stunned at the whole situation. Nick walked into the room with the other officer.

“Anything missing baby?”

“I-I don’t know? They were looking for something but I don’t think anything is missing.”

“Let’s check your basement Mam,” the officer led everyone down stairs to the basement.

“My stereo, elliptical, weights, T.V and DVD player are all here. I don’t get it?”

“Well, we are going to take your prints and your boyfriends here to out rule you and see if the finger prints my partner lifted is a match to anyone. If there were items missing, such as a stereo and television we would rule this as an ordinary burglary; however the fact your office was obviously searched, leads us to believe this is a personal matter.
“Here is my card, please contact us if you find anything to be missing and have any questions. We will be in touch about the finger prints. As far as your door, I would get that locked fixed as soon as possible.”

“Thank you,” Stacie mumbled shaking the two officer’s hands. Her and Nick gave them their finger prints and watched as they pulled out of the driveway.

“You have no idea who it could’ve been honey?”

“No, it doesn’t make sense?”

“You’re coming home with me tonight; we’ll get your door fixed tomorrow.” Nick put his arm around her. Stacie nodded her head and her eyes caught the broken picture frame on the ground. She squatted down, balancing on her toes as she gently picked up the picture. Shards of glass fell to the ground as she brought up to her.

“What the—” she noticed an almost straight line cut down the middle of Stacie’s body in the picture.

“What is it?” Nick put his hand on her shoulder. She flipped the picture over to examine it better and dropped to her hands and knees onto the glass ground at what she read:

It Should Have Been You

“We need to take this to the Police Department,” Nick took the picture from her reading the words in black permanent marker. “Stacie are you alright?” he knelt down to her side.

“I don’t know who would’ve done this?”

“Babe you’re bleeding. Get up so we can go clean those cuts,” Nick put his arms under Stacie’s and pulled her up. He brought her into the kitchen and had her sit on a chair. “The cut doesn’t look that big, but you’re bleeding a lot. It may be deep?” Nick took a wet paper towel and cleaned her knees and left hand.

“I don’t get it Nick.”

“We’ll get it figured out, where are your band aids?”

“I mean I didn’t think I had any enemies, but someone was clearly looking for something in my office and the picture frame wasn’t just knocked over.”

“Band aids Stace,” Nick looked under the sink and in cupboards.

“On top of the fridge in the plastic bin,” she didn’t take her eyes off of the ground in front of her. Nick reached back on the fridge pulling a light blue bin out full of medical supplies. He took out some band-aids and Neosporin.

“Damn girl these are just bleeding, I’m going to put some pressure on them,” Nick took more paper towel from the counter and pressed on her knees. “You need to let the cops worry about this okay? If it’s anything, they will find out what it is.” Nick opened up two large bandages and covered both of Stacie’s knees and opened a medium one to put over her left palm.
“My house was broken into Nick, the way the picture was,” Stacie’s voice started to quiver and Nick put his index finger over her lips.

“I’m going to go pick up that glass out there, why don’t you go get some stuff for tonight you need. We’ll drop the picture off and go back to my place and I’ll hold you.” Stacie nodded and stood up. Nick pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head and watched as she went around the corner and up the stairs.

Ten minutes later they drove to the Police Department and dropped off the picture. Stacie explained she had no idea who could’ve done it and they went back to Nick’s. She was quiet in the car and looked out the window. Nick took her hand and looked down at her.

“You’ve bled right through those bandages, oh damn girl, your blood condition, what should we do?” Stacie couldn’t help but giggle at Nick’s panicked voice.

“I’m fine, they’re not deep, I’m sure they’ve stopped.”

“Don’t make fun of me! What do you usually have to do if you get a cut or something?”

“Ice and elevation sometimes help. I’d tell you if I were worried, I don’t think I’m in need for a blood transfusion yet,” she winked at Nick.

“Not funny.”

“Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.” Nick pulled into his driveway and got out of the car. He walked over to Stacie’s side and opened her door; she continued to stare out the window.

“Want to go for a walk on the beach?”

“I do, it’s been forever it seems,” she took Nick’s hand and he led her out of the car. They took off their shoes and left them at the car and headed towards the beach.

“I know you’re thinking about your apartment but you have to trust me, things will work out.” Nick stopped the two of them at the water’s edge.

“I would’ve rather had something stolen or all of my stuff stolen than that picture broken and what the hell did those words mean? ‘It should’ve been me?’ No @#%$ it should’ve been me, I’ve thought so the moment it happened and now I can’t—”

“Shh, come here,” Nick pulled Stacie into his arms.

“Nick I’m sorry I know the last thing you want to hear about is Ryan.”

“Come on girl stop that. Let me just take care of you,” he pulled her away form him a little and looked into her eyes. “I mean Anastasia, I know you’ve been through a lot, I know you’re not over everything and I know that you never fully will. But you will learn that every day becomes a bit easier and the pain goes away a little more and you will fully take all of my heart one day.”


Stacie sighed and pulled away from Nick walking into the wet sand.
“What?” Nick asked.

“Why do you have to be so God Damn sweet?!”

“Oh, I’m not that sweet.”

“You’re being modest, you are.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll think that thirty seconds from now.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because there’s something I have to tell you—” Nick went up to Stacie, taking her hand into his and then tackling her into ocean.

“You’re going to get it Carter,” she came up spitting water.

“Oh, I hope so,” Nick grinned and pushing her back under.

Ch. 21: I Need You Tonight

“I’m taking Nick surfing tomorrow morning before we go into the city, it should be interesting, you’re more than welcome to come,” Stacie told Peyton.

“I don’t know if I want to get up that early. So, Brian you said found this doctor for you?” Peyton asked taking a bite of her salad.

“Yeah, I guess he’s a blood specialist I guess you could say. I talked to him, Dr. Green over the phone a couple days ago. He plans on doing a bunch of blood tests and a blood procedure, which they’re going to do some kind of transfusion to see how my blood cells react.”

“Are you nervous?”

“You know I hate hospitals, I have panic attacks every time I go to them. But like I told you, I haven’t been feeling right lately and it’s getting worse.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? I mean I know you have Nick and Brian was going to go too but I can get out of the in-laws anniversary party if you want.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I mean it sounds like this doctor knows what he’s doing. I’d say what the worse that could happen is but I won’t.”

“This is your last meal until tomorrow?”

“Yeah, they don’t want to see my blood sugar to be affected.”

“I don’t know, maybe your previous doctors are just whacked that there really isn’t anything wrong with you. And you’ve been getting sick because your body doesn’t need all the medicines you have to take.”

“That would be great! Come let’s finish eating and do some shopping.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick’s door bell rang and he got up from the couch with his guitar in his hand and opened the door.

“Hey you! I thought you were going to come later tonight.” Nick pulled Stacie in for a kiss.

“It’s nine, I’m only an hour early and honestly I don’t think I would’ve been able to drive myself over any later.”

“What’s wrong?” Nick took her bag from her shoulder and put his arm around her. They walked into the living room.

“I’m just tired. I had my last meal at six with Peyton.”

“What did you eat?”

“Caesar salad and fruit salad.”

“You should’ve eaten more for your last meal.”

“He said to eat something light, and that was light. Are you working on a song?”

“Yeah, we’re meeting at the end of the week to record and I was just touching up some things.”

“Can I hear?”

“Sure,” Nick picked his guitar up and started strumming a few chords and singing a few lines. It was a soft melody and Stacie closed her eyes listening to the music. When Nick finished he looked over and saw her eyes still closed.
“You better not have fallen asleep on me!”

“No, it was just relaxing,” she sat up a little and then leaned against Nick’s shoulder. “Keep playing?”

“What do you want to hear?”

“You’ll probably kill me for asking this.”

“What song?” Nick had a tone in his voice that Stacie laughed at.

“I Need You Tonight?”

“I think I could do that,” Nick cleared his voice and started playing his guitar:

Open up your heart to me and say what’s on your mind.

I know that we have been through so much pain, but I still need you in my life, this time.

And I need you tonight, I need you right now. I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right; ‘cause I see heaven in your eyes.

I figured out what to say to you, sometimes the words come out so wrong.

And I know that time you will understand, that what we have is so right, this time.

And I need you tonight, I need you right now. I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right; all those endless times when we tried to make it last forever more…

And baby I know I need you, oh yeah. I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right, ‘cause I see heaven…

I need you tonight, I need you right now, I know deep within my heart it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right. ‘Cause I see heaven…in your eyes. Oooo.


“Thank you,” Stacie put her hand on the back of Nick’s head and pulled him towards her. She brushed her lips over his and they kissed.

“Mmm, I’ll just have to sing that song for you more often I think.”

“It is one of my favorites of yours.”
“Is that so?” Nick’s eyes grew wide as he smirked.

“Ugh, don’t flatter yourself to much Carter.”

“I’m just playing.”

“So, I’m getting the ‘I’m nervous about tomorrow’ feeling from you.”

“Not so much anymore, that song helped.”

“I’m going to be right there for you and Brian is coming too. Between the two of us, you’re completely safe.”

“Thank you,” she gave him another kiss and stood up. “Want to watch a movie in your room and go to bed? We’re going to be getting up at five to hit the waves and then we have to be out of here by eight tomorrow.”

“Yeah I told Brian to be here by quarter of.” Nick smiled, he was doing his best to be strong for his girlfriend but he couldn’t help shake off the uneasiness he felt about what tomorrow would bring.
~*~*~*~*~
“Wake up sunshine,” Nick kissed Stacie’s cheek.

“Hmm, five more minutes,” she pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“It’s five already. The sun is already coming out, the waves look great. Your board is waxed and ready to go.”

“Excited are we?” Stacie opened her eyes and sat up.

“We’ve only been once since we got home from the mountains. Okay, I’ve only been once, you’ve gone every day. But you’ve got me addicted.”

“Good. Alright, let me get my suit on, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Hurry up!” Nick left the room and Stacie pulled the covers away from her. She rubbed her eyes and stood up. She felt a wave of dizzness to her and her first thought would have been to take her medication but she was told not to.

“It’s going to be a long morning,” she said to herself and went to her bag to pull out her white and pink bikini. She pulled a pair of her board shorts over and slipped on her sandals. Feeling weak she sat down on the edge of the bed and took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Let’s go slow poke!” Nick poked his head in the door way.

“Just going to brush my teeth,” she smiled up and stood up. Nick watched as she struggled to stand and lose her balance. He stepped forward as she fell into his arms.

“Whoa, baby you alright?”

“Yeah, it will just take my body to get with it a little longer without my medication.” Nick looked at her with disbelief in her eyes. “I’m fine; I’m going to brush my teeth.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t surf, we can just sleep for a couple more hours?”

“Nonsense. After today who knows what’s going to happen,” her voice saddened as she pushed away from Nick and into the bathroom. A minute later she came out, towel in arm and went outside with Nick. “Stop looking at me as though I’m going to die right here. We only have like fifty minutes left of waves.” She took Nick’s hand as he took the board and they made their way down to shore.

“So I think later this week we should go buy me my own board so we can go out together.”

“I’ve only been saying that for a month now!”

“I like your girly board, what can I say?”

“It’s not girly! My wake board on the other hand is, but that was a present.”

“Okay you got me. We have to take that out too some day!”

“We will. Now you go get your butt out on some waves and then I’ll show you how it’s done.” She slapped Nick on his butt and he jogged into the water. Truth was, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to surf today. She sat down into the cool sand, feeling tired from the walk out to the beach from the house. Stacie smiled as Nick paddled out into the open water and sat on the board waiting for his perfect wave to come.

“HERE IT COMES!” she cupped her hand yelling out to Nick. Nick looked behind his shoulder and then began digging his hands into the water paddling as hard as he could. The wave came under him and he jumped to his feet, right foot in front. “Whoooo nice one baby!” she cheered for Nick. He stayed on for a good amount of time until he tried to cut the wave and his board went out from underneath him.

Nick popped up from the water and held his hand up showing a number one for one more ride. Stacie gave him the thumbs up and watched as he went back out to catch another wave. Nick had to wait a good five more minutes before his next big wave came and he caught it. Stacie stood up and walked into the water, taking in a sharp breath from the coldness.
“We have to teach you how to cut waves, you hold yourself up pretty well.” Nick pulled the board and ran his free hand through his hair.

“I’m getting there, slowly.”

“I’m very proud,” she smiled and gave Nick a kiss.

“You want to ride?”

“Um,” she put her hands on her waist and looked out into the waters. Usually it wasn’t a question and would have been out on the water already; if it weren’t for the dizzy spells and weakness.

“You don’t feel well do you?” Nick brushed his thumb over her pale cheek.

“I’ll do one,” she smiled brightly.

“Try it. If it feels good do it, if it doesn’t, well, you’re a smart girl,” Nick reasoned with her. Stacie was kind of surprised Nick didn’t try to talk her out of it and felt as he understood her more each day.

“Thanks,” she smiled warmly and took the board. She hooked the strap onto her right ankle and walked deeper into the waters. Where the sand bar dropped, she got on her stomach and paddled out to where the waters grew calm. She sat up on her board, straddling it; waiting for her wave.

There was one that came soon but she knew she had to give herself more time to be ready. She looked out to the beach and saw Nick standing, watching her with his arms crossed over his chest and towel over his shoulders. A few minutes later a wave came that felt right and she paddled hard. Stacie definitely felt weaker than normal and wasn’t sure if she would be able to even get up on the board. As she went to stand, her legs felt weak and she fell onto her knees. She sat on the board again getting ready for another wave. This time she knew she had to take it, if she were to keep on trying she would only wear herself out more. She stood up on the board and let the wave take her a little down the coast and into shore.

“That was way too hard today, it sucked.” Stacie dragged her board up to Nick breathing heavy.

“Aww I’m sorry babe, you looked good though.” Stacie sat down on her board in the sand putting her head in between her legs. “That just about took everything out of you didn’t it?” She nodded her head not looking up.

“So my medicine does do something to me, I don’t know which one is doing what though.”

“Come on lets go back and get ready, it’s already seven.” Nick pulled Stacie up taking the board and putting his arm around her; while she leaned into him as they walked back to the house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ At the Hospital~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“So the blood we just took will help hopefully eliminate any other possibilities that are out there,” Dr. Green scribbled some notes on his clip board.

“You said there is a possibility of it being leukemia?” Stacie swallowed the lump in her throat, squeezing Nick’s hand.

“With your symptoms, it’s a possibility but we won’t know until the tests come back tomorrow. You have just have a rare blood form where you need to do these kinds of transfusions from time to time. I do know however, that you do not need to be on all three of those medicines and they could be a possibility for how sick you’ve been feeling.”

“I can go home after this blood transfusion?”

“As long as you’re doing okay. And we will call you tomorrow morning with the results and go from there. There could be a very good chance I just need to call in a prescription for you and you’ll be all set and no need to come back.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Stacie held her hand out from the chair she was lying in to get the blood work done. He shook and then shook Nick’s.

“My pleasure. I’ll have a nurse come in and bring you something to eat and drink, I know you must be hungry.” He left the room and Nick moved closer to Stacie and faced her.

“So that’s good news huh?” He rubbed her hand with his thumb.

“Nick I may have cancer.”

“He said small possibility. Come on you’re my Miss Optimistic.” Stacie laid her head back and closed her eyes.

“This is making me feel really sick.”

“He said it would. We’ll get some food in your system.”

“Where’s Brian?”

“He went outside to call Leigh; you can’t use cell phones in here.”

“You should go find him. This is going to be another hour.”

“We’ll be back soon.” Nick kissed her cheek. “And Stace?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Nick kissed Stacie on the lips and smiled as he walked out of the room. He meant it and more than ever at this time. He wanted to say it for a while now but needed the perfect time; and what better time but during a crisis? He leaned against the door and tilted his head back.

“That sigh does not sound of relief,” Brian’s voice broke Nick from his thoughts.

“Hey,” Nick stood up. “Coffee?”

“I’ll buy,” Brian agreed and they went to the vending machine. “Is she doing the transfusion right now?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be about an hour or more.”

“What else did he say?”

“He seemed to have high hopes, but in this profession I guess you have to. But he did mention there is a small, very small chance it could be leukemia.”

“My God,” Brian closed his eyes and said a silent prayer. “I’m sorry Nick.”

“We won’t know until tomorrow. He said small, and she’s been too healthy to show it, but I guess with the medication she’s been on, it could’ve been hiding the effects and it’s just getting worse now.”

“She has been a lot weaker.”

“I told her I loved her.”

“Really?” Brian handed Nick a steaming cup of black coffee and Nick nodded. “Good for you Nick. What did she say?”

“I played with it; I just smiled and walked out of the room.”

“Nice Nick,” Brian laughed.

“I told her I’d find you and bring you in. She’s scared right now.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine; I mean I have to be her rock right now.”

“I can be yours man,” he put a hand on Nick’s shoulder. They went back into Stacie’s room where she was eating toast with jam and drinking a juice box.

“Hey beautiful,” Brian came in kissing the top of her head.

“Nick told you huh?” she laughed.

“Yeah but you’re still beautiful.”

“Are you feeling better?” Nick asked.

“A little, not really. I’m trying to eat but I’m not hungry.”

~*~*~*~Two hours later~*~*~*

“Make sure she just keeps eating and drinking fluids, no caffeine, for the rest of the day. Sleep will help too,” the nurse told Nick wheeling in a chair. “Alright dear, you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” she held her head in her hand. “Nick?” she called his name closing her eyes as she sat up.

“I’m right here baby.”

“I’m so dizzy.” Nick helped the nurse get Stacie into the wheel chair and he brought her out to the parking lot where Brian was waiting with the car. The nurse held the wheel chair and Nick picked her up and set her in the back seat.

“Thank you,” he said politely to the nurse and she smiled and went back into the hospital.

“Ugh, I don’t think I can do this three hour ride back home,” Stacie was lying on her side in a ball.

“We hung around an extra forty-five minutes baby; the doctor said you’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“Stace, I’ll get you home soon. Just try to sleep.” Brian said sweetly as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Nick sat up front with him, but was turned to face Stacie in the back. Within a half hour of the drive she was passed out.

*~*~*~ Three Hours Later*~*~*

“Come on you, we’re home.” Nick gently shook Stacie awake. She opened her eyes and started sitting up. “Slowly,” Nick warned helping her. She put her hands on his shoulders and scooted out of the back seat. Nick helped her stand up in the drive way. “You doing alright?”

“I’ll get your door,” Brian told Nick taking the keys and unlocking the front door.

“Nick I can’t,” Stacie wrapped her arms around his neck

“I’ve got you,” he picked her up and brought her into the house and straight for his room. He gently laid her on the bed and took her shoes off. He laid a light blanket on top of her and told her he’d be right back.

“Can I do anything else?” Brian asked as Nick went up to him.

“I think we’re all set. Thanks for today Bri.”

“I’m glad I was there,” he pulled Nick in for a hug. “Call me as soon as you know tomorrow or if you need anything tonight?”

“Of course.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night,” Nick walked Brian out and went into the kitchen. He made some eggs and brought juice in for Stacie. She was holding onto the dresser when he walked in.

“What are you doing?”

“I had to pee, is that okay?” she laughed lightly. “I don’t think I’m going to make it though, and may have an accident on your floor.”

“Let’s not have that,” Nick laughed setting the food down and helping her to the bathroom.

“This is embarrassing.”

“I’ll be right here when you’re done.” She closed the door and few minutes later it opened. “Feel better?”

“No.”

“Let’s get some food in you. I made scrambled eggs, your favorite.”

“What? Pancakes are my favorite.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d be able to handle those right now. Tomorrow.”

“Very true.” Nick helped her back to the bed. She sat down and he lifted her legs up and handed her the plate. She pushed the food around with her fork and took small bites. “Aren’t you hungry?” she asked taking a sip of her juice.

“Brian and I had Wendy’s about an hour ago. You were out.”

“Good thing. My whole body is just shaky. I can’t imagine doing this again.”

“Everything will be fine.” Nick smiled sitting next to her.

“Nick, what if things aren’t fine. What if I do have…” her voice trailed off and she looked down at her eggs.

“Then we will deal with it, together. Get the best treatment and fight it. I’m not leaving your side.”

“You meant it earlier?”

“What do you think?”

“I think, I know, yes. I love you Nick.”

“I know.” He pulled her in for a hug and held her.

“Nick?”

“Stace?”

“I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be baby, its okay.”
~*~*~*~
“Anastasia your phone, it’s ringing,” Nick shook her sleeping shoulders.

“Hmm?” she rolled over facing Nick.

“Your phone,” Nick handed her the phone. She took it, flipped it open and put it to her ear.

“Yeah?” she asked sleepily.

“Hi Anastasia this is Dr. Green.” At the name Stacie sat up and was more alert.

“Oh, hi Dr. Green. How are you?...Feeling better, yes thank you…it’s alright. Oh?” Stacie now stood up out of bed and walked towards the window. Nick was sitting up watching her intently trying to figure out what the doctor was saying. “I understand…yes that’s the one. Thank you…you too…goodbye.” She hung up the phone and continued to look out the window. Nick was now behind her with his hand on her shoulder.

“Baby?” he whispered.

“I’m fine,” she turned around and smiled at Nick.

“No leukemia?”

“No but I am anemic. The medication they had me on gave me diabetic like symptoms but he called in a prescription for a different kind of medication that should help with everything.”

“Thank God,” Nick pulled her into his arms holding her tight. He kissed the top of her head, her cheek and then her lips.

“Nick…can’t…breathe…”Stacie choked out with a light laugh. As Nick pulled away she caught a tear roll down his cheek. “Oh, Nicky. It’s going to be alright, I’m going to be alright.”

“I know, I just was so scared Stace,” his voice quivered and as he shut his eyes tight more tears came out. Stacie pulled him to her this time trying to calm him down. She pulled him to the bed, still holding his hands and looked at him. “Just the thought of losing you, kills me. I’ve never felt this way about someone so fast and so strong before.”

“I was scared too because I finally feel complete in my life after going so long being lost and alone. I couldn’t think about leaving this world, not without.”

“I love you,” Nick kissed her.

“I love you Nicky.”

“We have to call Brian, he was really worried too.” Stacie nodded her head, and called Brian on her cell phone.

“Bri? Hey it’s Stace…good thanks. I’m sorry it’s early I just wanted to tell you that my doctor called me…yeah…I know you’re here for me…but Brian…wait…I know I love you too…that means a lot but Bri…are you going to let me tell you what he said or no?...It’s okay, but he told me I do not have leukemia. They are going to put me on a new medicine for my anemia that should help clear some of the diabetic symptoms I’ve been having…I know thank you…he’s relieved too…yeah sure, here he is,” she handed the phone to Nick. “He wants to talk to you, he likes hearing his own voice this morning. I’m going to go shower.” She kissed Nick and walked into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.

Stacie couldn’t help but feel over joy with the results. She wanted to go pick up her prescription and head to the beach for the rest of the day. She also couldn’t stop thinking about Nick and how much she really did love him.

“Can I join you?” she head Nick’s voice enter the bathroom.

“I don’t know can you?”

“MAY I join you?”

“I guess,” she laughed and within seconds Nick was in the shower. “How’s Brian?”

“Happy.”

“And you?”

“You have no idea.”

“Oh I don’t? It was just my body…”

“You know what I mean.” He wrapped his naked body against Stacie’s. They started kissing each other in the steaming water.

“Mmm Nick, I want to, but not without protection. So, the shower is not happening,” her eyes were closed as his lips found her neck.

“Well, we’ll have to wait because I don’t have any. But we can still play,” his lips ran down her neck and over her shoulder.

“I want to go play at the beach,” she opened her eyes laughing.

“Always killing the mood aren’t we?” Nick asked with his hands on his hips.

“Sorry?” she stifled a laugh.

“You will be later!”

“Baby but I leave in a week, we need to spend as much time together as possible,” Nick whined into the phone.
“I’m sorry but I need to see some of my friends tonight. They think I’ve disowned them.” Stacie told Nick getting her mail.

“Can I come sleep over tonight at least?”

“I may not be home until late. We’re doing dinner and then going out for drinks. I already invited you.”

“But I don’t want to go out for drinks. I need my rest right now.”

“Then stop whining Nick!” she laughed and started going through her mail.

“But I wuv you?”

“Cute Carter,” she stopped flipping through the envelop when her eyes fell onto red marker with her name and address. “I have an idea, how about you come over whenever you want so you can be here when I’m already home. You can play my Guitar Hero.”

“Hmm, that sounds like a good idea. See you in ten.”

“Hey wait—” but she heard the dial tone before she got another word in. She shook her head and walked up to her apartment opening it up. She threw her purse on the counter with her keys and mail; still holding the piece of mail that caught her attention. She ran her thumb through the top, tearing it open and pulled out its contents. It was a newspaper clipping. The headline read: Fiancé Killed in Snowboard Accident. Before reading the article she had already read over a year ago again, she looked to see if there was anything else in the envelope. There was a small piece of paper that said, it should’ve been you. The letters were written in the same form as the back of the picture that was found on the ground that day her apartment was discovered it had been broken into. She picked up the clipping and couldn’t help her self and read it.

Kissimmee Bridge—Buffalo,NY
Yesterday afternoon, twenty-five year old, Ryan Atwood was killed in a freak snow boarding accident on the slope. Atwood was not a stranger to the sport, he competed in the X-games and was familiar with the mountain.

Witnesses say that they saw his fiancé, Anastasia Stevens, twenty-three, was following him. Source says Stevens tried to cut Atwood, causing him to lose balance and take a fall down the mountain.

Snow board bindings are not made like ski bindings are harder to come out of. Atwood’s bindings snapped, causing more trouble as he tumbled lifelessly down the hill. Atwood suffered from internal bleedings and died within moments of snow patrol arriving at the scene.

No further news as to when memorial services will be held.

“What ya reading?” Nick’s voice started Stacie and she dropped the piece of paper. “Sorry,” he laughed and picked it up. He read the head line and then looked at her. She just handed him the entire envelope and sat down on her couch. Nick read the article and looked at the piece of paper with it and then sat with Stacie.

“I didn’t cut him, he was too far ahead.”

“You need to bring this down to the station,” Nick put a hand on her leg.

“I had cops questioning me for weeks after that article was printed. They really thought I had caused it, I didn’t; I wasn’t near him. We did make a bet to see who could get down the hill first. It was something we always did and I never won because well, the article had something right. He did partake in the x-games and did well in them. I was the better surfer though,” Stacie half laughed.

“You have no idea who would’ve sent this to you babe?”

“No. But I don’t have time to think about it. I have to get ready and then take this down to the station before meeting everyone out,” she stood up and headed for her room.

Nick didn’t know what to do or say. He wasn’t there that day; he never went through anything like this and didn’t know how to help Stacie out. Of course he didn’t believe what he read. He learned not to do that at an early age when the group first started becoming popular. He was however, worried because this person new where she lived had been in her house and was making threats. Something had to be done but what?
~*~*~*~
“Okay girl let’s get you inside,” Peyton had Stacie’s arm around her neck and her arm around Stacie’s waist.

“I want to go dancing though,” she put her finger up to Peyton’s nose.

“We will next weekend but I think you need to get some sleep.”

“It’s early!”

“It’s one am.”

“Bars close at four or five!”

“Yes, not for you tonight. Where are your keys?”

“What keys?”

“Oh boy. Are they in your purse?”

“Just do this,” she rung the door bell.

“Stace come on no one is home, because you are out here with me.” Just as Stacie went to open her mouth Nick opened the door.

“NICKY!” Stacie jumped into Nick’s arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

“I see we’ve had a good night tonight?” Nick laughed.

“She’s a mess. She doesn’t usually drink like this. Anyway, her car is down on Alexander because I can’t well drive stick. But it should be fine there for the night. Just call me tomorrow when you go to get it because I’m sure she won’t remember.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m heading out. Stace call me when you wake up after noon.”

“Bye bye.” Peyton shook her head laughing and walked out the door. Nick brought Stacie in and set her on the couch.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Nick asked looking down at the Stacie slouching in the couch.

“I love you?”

“Uh huh. So, why did we drink so much tonight?” He sat down next to her.

“We didn’t. I did,” she started laughing.

“Okay, why did YOU drink so much?”

“It just started out with a beer and then I had another and then switched to cranberry vodka and I bought a round of shots for people, I don’t remember how many there was of us and well yeah the rest is history,” she shrugged her shoulders laughing.

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened before you left tonight and the letter?”

“Shh, too much talky,” she put her hand on Nick’s mouth and sat up and straddled him. “Let’s go make love.”

“Let’s not tonight because you want to wait and that’s fine. Right now, that’s just the alcohol talking right now. Let’s go snuggle?”

“Hmm how about we kiss.” She pushed her lips against Nick’s and the two started kissing.
“This we can do and tomorrow we talk.”
*~*~*~*~* the Next Day*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Let’s go Carter, time to get up!” Stacie smacked Nick’s butt. “We have to get my car and then we are going to the beach.”

“What time is it?”

“Eight am! Now move!”

“You don’t have a hang over?” Nick asked yawning.

“Nope not at all now let’s go!” she opened her curtains and pulled the sheets off of Nick.

“You’re already in your swim suit?”

“Duh I’m going to go downstairs and make some eggs,” she gave Nick a brief kiss and went downstairs. Nick got himself up and took a shower. Stacie was just putting the eggs and toast on plates as he came down.

“Hey you,” he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Morning,” she smiled and gave him a kiss. “Hungry?” she asked. Nick nodded and they took their plates and sat down at the counter.

“Do you know where your car is? Peyton said something about Alexander?”

“Well, I totally thought it was on Queens but maybe not?” she laughed taking a bite of the scrambled eggs.

“Peyton said to call her.”

“I was that drunk huh?”

“Yeah you were trying to take advantage of me, but I wouldn’t allow it.” Nick said smugly.

“Uh huh.”

“It’s true. So was there a reason you decided to drink the way you did last night?”

“Nope.”

“Are you lying?”

“Nope.”

“Are you lying now?”

“I just, it just kind of happened. You can’t tell me there has been times where you plan to go out for a couple and it turns into like six or seven drinks instead?”

“Yeah but—”

“But nothing. That’s all.”

“What did the cops say when you dropped the letter off?”

“Thank you and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.”

“That’s it?”

“They just have no idea who it is, I don’t either and besides breaking and entering there’s nothing illegal about sending threats really. If they’re not going to worry about it, why should I?”

“Maybe we should call someone else?”

“Who the FBI Nick? Come on.” The two finished their breakfast; Stacie called Peyton to find where exactly her car was they headed down to Main Street.

“She said it’s in that parking lot there,” she pointed across the street to Nick. He turned into the large stoned parking lot where sure enough Stacie’s car and a few others were. “Oh my God,” Stacie gasped as Nick pulled up to her car. Within seconds she jumped out of Nick’s car before he got into park and went to examine her own. Nick got out and walked up to where she was standing. The driver’s side window was smashed in with a note tapped to the steering wheel.

Stacie tore it off and threw it to the ground. Nick picked it up and read out loud, “How can you live with yourself and be happy as though nothing ever happened? He was never in love with you, not the way he was with me. I told you, it should’ve been you.” He looked at Stacie who was now squatting down to the ground with her head in her hands.

“Maybe now they’ll get more serious,” she stood up and took her phone out of her purse. She called the officer who was on the case originally and gave them the address where they were at.

“It’s going to be okay.” Nick went to hug Stacie but she pushed him away and took seat on the hood of her car.

“I’m sure it is,” she mumbled and watched the street’s traffic pass them by. Within ten minutes two cop cars pulled in. It was Robert’s and his partner Danido. They never were told their first names. The two cops walked up to them and looked at the car’s window and then walked around the perimeter. “Hi there Ms. Stevens, Mr. Carter. You said over the phone you just found your car like this now?” Roberts wrote something on his pad of paper.

“Yeah, there was this attached to the steering wheel too,” Nick handed the officer the note.

“This is the third one right Miss?” Roberts asked.

“Yeah.”

“You have no idea still or any possibilities on whom it could be?”

“Not at all. I don’t know?” she ran her fingers through her hair. “But what are you doing to do to find out? I can’t keep changing locks on my door and replacing windows.”

“We can try to get finger prints off this note and around your car. If you need we can send a patrol car to your home for a couple nights.”

“I’m not worried about this person coming back to my home, but I get a letter one day and the very next my car is broken into with this statement.”

“Look Mam we’re going to do everything we can to track this person down. Now we’re going to do our job right now, we’ll have it towed to wherever you want when we’re done and give you a call later on.”

“Patrick’s Dealer on Blossom,” she told the officer and walked back to Nick’s car and got in. She watched as Nick said some words, shook their hands and got into his car.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Nick asked starting up the car.

“And do what?”

“I don’t know, don’t get mad at me.”

“I’m sorry Nick I just don’t think this going to go anywhere. This person obviously knows me enough to know where my car was last night. I mean are they watching me right now or what?” she looked out the window and Nick took her hand.

“Stay at my place for a while alright? Just until there is a better handle on all of this.”

“I don’t want to be scared out of my own home.”

“Just do it for me especially when I’m leaving in a few days, I’m going to be worrying about you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not having it any other way.”

“Alright.”

“Let’s back to your house, pack some things up, go to my place and then we’ll go to the beach for the rest of the day. How does that sound?”

“Good,” she smiled. “Thank you.” She leaned over towards Nick and gave him a kiss.

“There’s that smile.”

“Guess what I bought when you were out last night,” Nick smiled walking into his house.

“Me a present!” Stacie jumped up and down.

“Sorta,” Nick went around the corner and then pulled out a large surf board.

“I think it will be too big for me, but its great thanks!” Stacie reached for the board.

“No way, this one is mine so I stop using yours!”

“I’m kidding, it’s great. Let’s go test it out!”

“I’m going to go get my suit on,” Nick set the board against the wall and disappeared into his room. Stacie heard his phone start to ring on the table where his keys were and she looked down to see who it was.

“Hey Brian,” she answered.

“Did I call you or Nick?”

“Nick, he’s just changing. What’s up?”

“I was seeing what you two were up to for the day?”

“We are about to head to the beach, what’s up?”

“Leigh is out with Bailey so I’m bored.”

“Come over here, I think he mentioned A.J. might be stopping by too. Nick just got a surf board so we’re going to play around.”

“You sure I’m not crashing?”

“Get your butt over, just come down to the beach; you’ll know where we’ll be.”

“See you in bit.”

“Later B,” Stacie hung up the phone and saw Nick walk out.

“Who was that?”

“My other boyfriend.”

“A.J?”

“No. I told you I’m in love with Brian.”

“Yes, but he has a kid. Now let’s go.”

“He’s on his way over, I told him to.”

“Okay, A.J. is probably too, I think I told you that.”

“You did.”

“Let’s head down.” Nick took his board, and Stacie took my bag that had sun screen, towels and cell phones. She threw a few bottles of water in, grabbed her board and they headed down to the beach.

“The waves are decent; they’ll be bigger in a few hours though.”

“I need to work on my tan, that’s okay,” Nick plopped his board into the sand and took his towel out. He spread it out in the sand and laid down.

“Gee thanks,” Stacie said sarcastically and took her towel and laid it down.

“What?!” Nick questioned. Stacie only laughed and shook her head.

“Let’s go swimming.”

“Now?”

“You are such a girl sometimes Carter, do you know this?” Stacie stood up and headed for the water. Just before she reached it Nick came up behind her, picked her up and ran into the water.

“Who is the girl now?” Nick asked still holding Stacie.

“You,” she squirmed out of his arms and dunked him into the water.

“I think we should take the boat out later, do some skiing off the coast where its calm.”

“That sounds like fun. We just have to wait for A.J. and Brian.”

“Let’s go up and give them a call and they can meet us.”

“What about surfing?”

“We can later and tomorrow morning I’ll get up early with you.”

“You promise about tomorrow morning?”

“I promise,” Nick took her hand and they went back up to get their stuff and headed back to Nick’s house. Nick called A.J. while Stacie called Brian.

“Brian said he’d meet us at the boat launch,” Stacie told Nick.

“A.J. is just picking up Jen and then he’ll meet us at the launch too.”

“Should we pack like some snacks and stuff, it seems like a beautiful day?”

“Sure, I’ll get the cooler.”

“I’ll start seeing what you have…we may have to go to the store though knowing you.”

“Hey, I went a couple days ago!” Nick yelled going out to the garage.

“Okay babe,” Stacie laughed and started going through the cupboards.

Within twenty minutes the two were out the door and heading for the boat launch where Nick kept his boat. When they arrived, they saw Brian, A.J. and Jen standing in the parking lot talking.

“Hey guys!” Stacie called hopping out of Nick’s car.

“Hi, how are you?” Brian asked giving her a hug.

“Great, Jen, good to see you,” she gave her a hug.

“We, ready to head out?” Nick asked getting the cooler.

“Ay ay captain!” Brian saluted Nick and helped him with the cooler over to where the boat was. The guys uncovered it and we all piled in and Nick took her out into ocean.

“Where are we going to go?” Jen asked sitting in the bow of the boat.

“Over to the cove so we can do some skiing, is that good?”

“Do you ski?” Brian asked Stacie.

“Slalom,” she replied.

“Ohh, one ski nice! Nick your girlfriend is up first!” Nick nodded his head and smiled at Stacie.

“I’d rather not go first.”

“Why not?” Jen asked.

“It’s been like two years.”

“Hey, I can’t even get up on two half the time. I’m sure you’ll look like a pro out there,” Jen laughed. Nick brought the boat to a stop and he stood up and unhooked a ski from the tower. He handed it Stacie and got the rope out.

“Nick, Brian was just telling me he wanted to go first,” Stacie looked at Brian.

“I did not, you are going!” Brian threw a life jacket at her.

“NO way!” Stacie threw the jacket back at him.

“Well, someone has to go!” Nick said hooking the ski rope up.

“Fine,” Stacie gave in and put her life jacket on. She adjusted the ski so it was on its smallest fit and threw it into the water. She jumped in and put the ski on. “This may take a few tries,” she warned Nick.

“You’re fine babe,” he yelled out and pulled the boat so that Stacie was straight behind it. “Ready?!” he yelled back.

“Hit it!” Stacie yelled. Nick pushed down the throttle all the way and the boat sped up, pulling Stacie right up and out of the water. “Whoooo, way to go baby!” Nick yelled.

“Told you she would look like a pro out there, look at her cutting the water!” Jen told A.J. Stacie skied for a good eight minutes until she hit a rather large wave and wiped out. Nick turned the boat and headed towards where she fell. He turned the boat off after he reached her and Brian reached for her ski.

“You looked hot out there,” Nick smiled to her as she climbed up onto the boat.
“It was hard,” she laughed and took off her life jacket. “But it was fun. Bri you ready?” She asked throwing him the wet life jacket.

“Yes, but I need two ski’s,” he told Nick. Nick reached up to the tower and took the other ski now and handed it to Brian. Brian put on a life jacket and got ready next. “So how do I do this?” he asked no one in particular as he looked at the skis lying on the back of the boat.

“Haven’t you been?” Stacie asked holding her towel around her waist.

“Technically once, but it was not successful.”

“Yeah, Brian is not much of a water sports kind of guy,” Nick laughed.

“Like you ski better,” Brian shot him a glance.

“I can get up at least on two. I’ll just end up dragging you because you always fall to the side before I pull you up. Come on the sky is getting dark for some reason,” Nick shot back.

“Brian just think, stay tucked in a ball, knees to chest, arms bent. Let the boat pull you up, don’t try to stand,” Stacie gave him some pointers and Brian jumped into the water.

“A ball huh?” Brian asked struggling to put the skis on.

“Yes, arms tucked into you,” Stacie laughed.

“I can’t get these damn things on,” Brian wined and kept falling to his face in the water.

“Hold on,” Stacie let her towel fall off of her and she dove into the water to help Brian. She swam up to him and helped him get his foot into the ski.

“It’s too tight,” he told her and she adjusted the ski to where it felt good. She then had to swim a little ways to get the other ski that drifted away from them. She got it and pushed it towards Brian. She helped him get the next ski on.

“Okay so, here take the rope,” she handed him the rope. “Show me how you’re going to start.” Brian held onto the rope, bent his elbows so they were into his chest and tucked his knees up as well.

“How am I supposed to keep my balance?” he asked as he kept bobbing side to side.

“You won’t be here very long, just think about squeezing your body.”

“Okay if you say so.” Stacie swam back to the boat and got into it.

“You ready Rok?” Nick called out to his friend.

“Uh no,” Brian lost his balance and fell to on side again. “Okay…wait…yes…hold on…READY!” as soon as he said this Nick hit the throttle and Brian was being pulled. Before he got up he fell to one side.

“See, I told you. He just can’t seem to keep straight.” Nick told Stacie and he brought the boat back to Brian to where he could reach the rope. Brian grabbed the rope and got ready to try again.

“That was just warm up,” Brian joked.

“Sure B,” A.J. laughed. Nick straightened out the boat and looked back and asked Brian if he was ready.

“OKAY!” Brian yelled and Nick once again hit the throttle. Brian fell off to the other side.

“I don’t know how to get him up?” Nick told Stacie.

“I could try something, I’ve done with my cousins and it’s worked,” Stacie told Nick.

“Up to Brian.”

“Hey Bri, want me to try to do something and see if it helps?” she asked leaning over the back of the boat.

“Anything or we’ll be here all day. Trust me, this is like the fifth time I’ve tried and haven’t been able to get up.” Stacie put back on a life jacket and then jumped into the water.

“Nick, I want you to not hit the throttle all the way down right away, start kinda slow and then speed up. Try to feel the weight in the back.” Stacie told him and swam over to Brian.

“What are you doing?” Brian asked.

“Trust me. Now take the rope and get ready,” she gave Brian the rope and got behind him. “Now, I want you to lean back into me and get tucked, there you go. Now I’ll hold you like this and I really want you to just let the boat pull you up.”

“We can’t just drive away with you here in open waters.”

“Nah I’ll be fine, we’re like the only boat out here it is a Thursday. Now let’s go.” Brian leaned into her and he brought his knees up to his chest. “You ready?” she asked Brian.

“Yeah,” he said focusing ahead of him.

“HIT IT!” Stacie yelled to Nick. Nick slowly put the throttle all the way down and Brian stayed tuck until he was all the way out of the water. “WAY TO GO BRIAN!” Stacie cheered. Brian was up for a little bit until he tried to go out side the wake and then he took a fall. Stacie could hear everyone cheer for Brian on the boat and she began to swim a little. The boat was a good two miles away and knew Nick would be over as soon as they picked up Brian. As she kicked her legs however, she felt an intense sting. A feeling she was familiar with from surfing, a jelly fish sting. She used just her arms to swim forward in case there was more than one; unfortunately she was right and the same leg was stung but this time it was her foot.

“Okay Nick get your butt over here,” she told herself and continued to try to move forward. She saw the boat stop to where Brian was and watched as Brian handed them one ski and another. Everything seemed to be taking forever and it became harder for her to swim. The boat finally got moving again and sped towards where Stacie was. Her chest began to feel tight and her body became extremely weak. She rolled over onto her back and was thankful for the life jacket she had put on. A moment later Nick’s boat pulled up.

“Did you see that Stace?! I got up!” Brian laughed. Stacie tried to pull a smile but her leg was on fire.

“Come on get on board, it’s actually getting kind of rough out, I think a storm might be coming,” Nick told her.

“I sorta have a problem,” Stacie said trying get herself up right.

“What’s that?” Nick turned the boat off and looked down.

“I think I was stung by a jelly fish…twice.” She half laughed.

“What?!” Nick’s voice rose and moved to the back of the boat and went to where the steps were.

“Don’t jump in, there might be more, just give me your hand,” she told Nick reaching out her arm. Nick took it and pulled her closer to the boat, A.J. and Brian were now down by Nick and they pulled her up.

“Try stung by three there Stace,” A.J. said looking at her legs. “Two on your right and one on your left.” Nick took off her life jacket and threw it into the boat.

“What do you do for jelly fish stings?” Jen asked putting a towel around Stacie’s shoulders.

“Hospital,” Stacie said weakly. Nick picked her up and put her so she was lying down on the bench seat of the boat.

“I saw on friends they peed on Monica’s foot one time,” Jen suggested.

“Ew, do not pee on me.” Stacie laughed and her eyes started closing. Nick had already turned the boat around and was heading towards the boat launch.

“Brian call 911 because I think she may be going into shock, with her anemia I don’t want to chance it, we’ll be there in like ten minutes.” Brian nodded his head and took his cell phone out.

“Hi, this is Brian Littrell, I need an ambulance for my friend…her name is Anastasia Stevens…three jelly fish stings…twenty-four….we’re out in the boat, we will be at Dorsal loading dock in about ten minutes…she’s anemic…she’s very lethargic…her eyes keep wanting to close…okay. Stace you need to stay awake for me,” Brian cupped her face with his hand.

“I’m awake…it’s hard to breathe.”

“She said it’s hard to breathe…yes, she’s lying down…both legs, one on her right knee, one on right ankle and one on her left foot…the one on the knee looks the worse, it’s actually bleeding…A.J. wrap a towel around her knee…we have bottled water…okay…here Jen take the phone,” Brian handed her the phone and went to where the coolers were, he took out three bottles of water and brought them over. Nick’s eyes were focused straight ahead of him.

“What do you need?” A.J. asked Brian.

“We need to pour the water onto the wounds to get some of the salt water out and poison. Stace this might hurt a little,” Brian warned her as he opened up two water bottles. He gently took the towel off her knee and slowly poured the water. Jen reached for Stacie’s hand and Stacie squeezed it.

“Have you had stings before?” Jen asked Stacie.

“Twice, but at different times and they were pretty much dead, washed up on the beach. These don’t feel anything like them though.” Jen repeated to the 911 operator what she had just been told. “Ahh,” Stacie cried out as A.J dumped another bottle onto her knee.

“You’re okay,” Brian brushed back her hair from her forehead. He noticed she was sweating and her forehead was rather hot. He took another towel and dipped it into the ocean and wrung it out. He then started dabbing her head and neck with the cold towel.

“Nick—” she moaned out.

“I’m right here baby, we’ll be there soon.” Nick glanced back and became worried as soon as he saw how pale she was. The boat was already going the fastest as it could go and there were some decent sized waves he had to get through. That explained while the jelly fish were at the top of the water; because a storm was coming.

“The ambulance should be there when we get there the dispatcher said they were about two minutes away.”

“I can’t breathe,” Stacie went to sit up and pulled on Brian to help her.

“It’s best to stay lying down,” Brian took her shoulders and tried to gently push her back down. Stacie tried to resist him but was too weak, Brian was kneeling by her side, holding one hand and trying to keep her cool with the wet towel in the other.

“We’re here,” Nick said as he pulled his boat up to the dock. The ambulance was there with EMT’s already on the dock with their gear. A.J and Brian jumped out to help tie the boat up and EMT’s jumped into assist with Stacie.

“Hi Anastasia, my name is Brett, we have some jelly fish stings?” he asked taking her blood pressure. Stacie nodded her head.

“I’m going to run an IV through you so you don’t become dehydrated and one will help with any infection. Are you allergic to any medications?”

“No,” her eyes landed on Nick’s who was standing above the EMT’s, watching their every move.

“Okay, we’re going to take great care of you. Do you have asthma?” She shook her head no. “Steve could you get the O2 please?” he asked his partner as he put an IV into her arm. Steve brought over the oxygen tank and put the mask over her face.

“Just breathe regular, nice slow breaths now,” Steve told her.

“We’re going to take you to the hospital but we’re going to put this back board under you to get you out of the boat. I need you just relax,” Brett and Steve put a back board under her and put one strap over her legs, and one over her stomach. Nick and Brian helped the EMT’s lift her out of the boat and onto the gurney. “We can take only one of you,” Brett told Nick.

“Nick we’ll meet you at the hospital,” Brian patted Nick’s shoulder. “I’ll put your boat away.” Nick just nodded his head and climbed into the back of the ambulance with Stacie. He held her hand and watched as Brett continued to take her vitals while Steve drove.
~*~*~*~
“Is jelly fish stings life threatening?” Nick asked looking down at Stacie.

“Not usually, it all depends on the person and the intensity of the sting. She has about a third degree sting on her knee. See these marks,” he pointed to the lines around her knee. “It’s like the jelly fish wrapped its tentacles around her. The other two stings are mild like she swam in them and they just got scared. Her blood pressure is a little low but she’s anemic so that could play some part too. I think she’s going to be just fine, maybe not walking for a couple days but we’ll get these IV’s running through her.”

Within minutes the ambulance pulled into the hospital and Nick followed quickly behind the stretcher as it was wheeled into the hospital. Nick was told to wait in the lobby until a doctor came out. He took a seat in the crowded area and ran his fingers through his hair.

Nick felt his phone vibrate and he pulled it out of his swim trunks and answered it.

“Hello?” he answered.

“It’s Brian, just wanted to let you know we’re on our way down. How is she?”

“They just took her away, the EMT’s said she should be just fine though.”

“Good, well your boat is in its hoist and the cover is on. We’ll be there in about ten.”

“K.”

“Nick, hang in there.”

“I’m trying, I just, she doesn’t need this right now.”

“We’ll, talk when I see you.”

“Okay, bye.” They hung up the phone and Nick looked around the lobby. He saw a boy with an arm splint on, an older lady coughing into a tissue, a young woman bouncing a two year old on her lap while getting the five year old to stay seated.

“Nick Carter?” A doctor came out a few minutes later.

“Right here,” Nick stood up and walked over to the doctor.

“Hi, Doctor Smith,” he shook Nick’s hand. “Anastasia is going to be just fine. Now a days a jelly fish sting is nothing more than a bee sting if you treat it fast enough. She’s getting some fluids ran through her body right now and her stings are being dressed.”

“Her knee was pretty bad I was told?”
“It probably feels worse than it looks to her actually. When the tentacles squeeze something, they’re stronger than they look. It is probably going to feel like a third degree burn with a side of a sprain. With the other two stings, she’s not going to be up for walking for a bit. We’ll give her a pair of crutches to use but really she needs to rest.”

“Her blood pressure and all that? She is anemic,” Nick folded his arms over his chest.

“It’s almost back to normal she will feel weak for the rest of the day but that’s to be expected. She can go home in a couple hours. I’ll send someone out to get you when she’s about ready, she’s sleeping right now.”

“Thank you,” Nick shook his hand again and took a seat just as Brian, A.J. and Jen walked into the lobby.

“How is she?” Jen asked hugging Nick. Nick explained everything that the doctor just told him.

“So, if you guys want to go that’s fine. I’m going to take her back home with me as soon as she’s released.”

“We’ll wait around Nicky,” A.J. put an arm around Nick and they took a seat.

Small talk was made but everyone was exhausted from the days events. Nick’s phone vibrated and he answered it.

“Hello?...this is Nick Carter, yes it was taken in today... Nothing was found?..I see…yes, that card number will do…I appreciate it…this number is fine…thank you.” Nick closed his phone and put it back into pocket.

“Who was that?” Brian asked.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you what’s been happening…her car was broken into last night or this morning or sometime in between.”

“What?!” A.J. and Brian said the same time.

“Yeah, it’s been a long couple of days…”Nick went on and explained about the letters, the picture, the article, and the car. “So, I gave them my credit card number to just put the charges on it, whatever her insurance wouldn’t handle.”

“And they found nothing?” Brian asked.

“Nope. And now she’s sick here and she’s just been through enough ya know? I don’t know why she can’t get a break.”

“Things come in three’s,” A.J. said.
“Her fiancé dies, she tries to kill herself, and then her home is broken into, she has a scare of having cancer, and then her car and now the jelly fish.” Nick paced back and forth.

“She tried to take her life?” Brian asked with concern.

“Ugh, yeah I wasn’t going to tell you guys. I think she wanted to keep it confidential. But it was after her fiancé and she got the help she needed.”

“Well, the first two kinda go together, the home and her car one, she doesn’t have cancer so we can exclude that and just count the jelly fish. So there, three.” A.J. stated.

“Oh, A.J…” Brian sighed.
~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~ Two Hours Later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“We’re going to leave Tuesday at five am to go to Florida to record the rest of the album?”A.J. conferred with Brian.

“Yes, and hopefully be done in a couple weeks since we have three songs done already. Then we start promotions in NY.” Nick stood against a pillar waiting to hear about his girlfriend; as Brian and A.J. talked about the new album to keep busy.

“Where is she?” Peyton came into the waiting room breathing hard.

“She’s still in the E.R. They said they’ll come get us when she’s ready to leave,” Brian told her.

“He doesn’t look good,” Peyton nodded her head towards Nick.

“He’s just worried,” Brian reassured her. Peyton went up to Nick and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” she whispered. Nick turned to face her and Peyton pulled her in for a hug. “She’s strong Nick. Besides the hospital is kind of her second home,” she tried to joke. Nick didn’t laugh.

“Excuse me, Mr. Carter? Your girlfriend is about ready to go. She’s just filling out some papers and then a nurse will bring her out,” another nurse came out to tell him.

“Thank you,” Nick sighed out. A few minutes later Stacie was wheeled out to the group.

“Are we having a party without me?” she joked. Peyton knelt down and gave her a hug.

“Only you would manage to be stung by a school of jelly fish,” she shook her head.

“Are you alright?” Nick asked giving her a brief kiss.

“I’m fine. I just want to go home.”

“What am I to do with you Stace?” Nick smiled. She smiled back and shrugged.

“You heard the little lady, get her home!” Brian yelled and started pushing her out the door. Everyone followed and got into the car.

“Stacie you’re supposed to use your crutches,” Nick yelled at her from the kitchen.

“I don’t need them, it’s not like I’m hurting myself anymore.” She limped into the kitchen.

“But you need to heal or it will take longer.”

“Getting a glass of water isn’t going to kill me.”

“We need to change your bandages.” Nick put the chicken he was making into the oven, reached for the glass Stacie was trying to get and handed it to her.

“Already? This is the worse part of this.” She pushed her glass onto the water dispenser on the fridge.

“Let’s go,” Nick grabbed a plastic bag off the counter and helped Stacie walk back to the living room. She sat down and Nick helped her bring her legs up onto the couch. She winced in pain a little as he set them down carefully. “Sorry.”

“So, want to go surfing tomorrow morning?”

“No you nut, it’s been a day and besides the salt water is going hurt like a bitch when you get in. Now sit still so I can take this gauze off.”

“You are no fun Nick. So, you guys leave soon,” she took in a sharp breath as Nick undid the ravel of gauze on her knee.

“You’re swollen, you need to stay off for the rest of the day, for this week that matter. You’re the sports trainer, you know better.”

“Nick let’s go do something tonight.”

“Like what?” he took the bandages off her foot and ankle. “Ready to go soak?” Nick asked.

“Yeah and I don’t know something. I need to get out.”

“It’s going to be a long week with you,” Nick joked and picked her up. He brought her into the bathroom and set her on the sink. He started the water and poured some Epson salt into the warm bath.

“Hey!”

“Okay girly time to get in,” Nick picked her up and brought her over to the tub. He set her on the ledge and kissed the top of her head.

“This sucks,” she whined looking into the tub.

“Only twenty minutes. I’m going to go finish dinner then I’ll come help you get dressed.” Nick smiled and walked out of the bathroom. Stacie sighed and took her clothes off before slipping into the water. The salty water stung as she her body emerged under water. She sucked in a deep breath and let it out closing her eyes. Eventually the bath soothed her and she was able to relax. Before she knew it Nick was knocking on the door.

“Five more minutes,” she told him.

“Well, dinner is ready,” he called from outside the door.

“Okay, getting out,” she pulled the plug from the drain and pulled herself up. She took the towel off the sink counter in front of her and wrapped it around her body.

“Can I come in?” Nick asked.

“Yeah,” she adjusted the clip holding her hair up. Nick walked in and wrapped his arms around her body.

“How you doing?”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Hey Nick, I haven’t heard anything about my car?”

“It’s taken care of,” he grinned.

“What do you mean? They never called me.”

“I gave them my number before we left that one day and I took care of the damage and all that. It will be done in a week which is good cause you don’t need to be driving.”

“You didn’t have to,” she turned and faced him.

“I wanted to.”

~*~*~*~
A week has passed since the jelly-fish incident, Stacie is still living with Nick because she no longer feels safe in her own home. It was dawn and Stacie on top of her surf board on the beach, watching the sun come up. The last couple of months had been unreal and she honestly didn't know what she would do without Nick.

She watched as the waves crashed up onto the beach and although she wanted to surf, she couldn't bring herself to go out into the water. Instead, she stood with her board, placed it against some rocks and began to run. At first it started as a slow paced jog, her mind flashed back to the night she told Nick about her taking her life and her feet picked up the pace. Her mind began flooding with the letters she had been sent, her smashed windshield, and Stacie as now in a full sprint down the beach.

She had managed to make a small loop to head back in the direction towards Nick's house but was still sprinting. Breathing hard she began thinking of how weak she had been showing herself around Nick. of how she would often collapse and he was always there to catch her or pick her up. When did she become so dependent on him, that wasn't her. For the past year, although her best friend Peyton had been there, she never needed to depend on someone to pick her up from her falls. She never shed a tear.

Reaching her board, Stacie fell to her knees into the cool sand, her lungs burning. She must've ran three miles under twenty minutes. Breathing hard, she picked up the board and made her way back to the house. When she reached the patio, she saw Nick sitting under the umbrella in a chair, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," he said brightly. Without meeting his eyes, she mumbled, "Morning" and set her board next to Nick's against the house.

"Did you have a good ride?"

"Didn't go in. I'm going to shower," she said still avoiding Nick's eyes and went into the house. Nick stood up to follow and as he walked inside Stacie turned around.

"Ten minutes, give me ten minutes by myself." She told said. Nick saw something flicker in her eyes as she said those words to him. It wasn't anger, it wasn't hurt but it wasn't Stacie. Wondering what could've been wrong, Nick nodded his head and decided to to go online and check his mail.

Up stairs, Stacie turned on the shower and the radio Nick had in his bathroom. She tuned it to the alturnative radio station and one of her old favorite songs had just came through the speakers. The bathroom was now filling with steam from the shower and she slipped off her board shorts, and took off her swim suit.

She turned up the volume and got into the shower. Singing with the radio, she allowed hot water enclose her body.

"She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And she can take me for a while
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterfliess, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools that fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....
Guess I'll let it go."


Nick had heard her turn on the radio and he sat at the top of the stairs, listening to her sing. Of course her voice sounded amazing and in the shower, it carried her voice throughout the house. He knew the song but until he heard it now, it was just another song on the radio. While she sang, he heard a sadness in her voice. As the song ended another unfamiliar one came on and she walked up to the bathroom door. He was debating on whether or not he should go in to check her.

Nick remembered the tone of her voice when she asked Nick for ten minutes and turned around to go back down stairs. Just as he reached the first step, he heard a sob come out of her throat and could hear her start to cry. A loud thud came and without thinking he went into the bathroom.

"Anastasia are you okay?" he asked and walked up to the shower. It was a wide open walk in shower and she was in the corner, hugging her knees up to her chest. When she didn't answer, Nick stepped into the shower.
"Baby did you fall?" he knelt down, and lifted her chin up with her his hand. She shook her head no, tears streaming down her face.

Nick reached up, turned the shower off and took the towel that was hanging on the bar. He wrapped the towel around her and picked her up in his arms. He brought her into his room and laid her on his bed.

"Stace talk to me, you're scaring me."

"This isn't right, I'm sorry Nick."

"What isn't right?" Nick's eyes were full of concern and she couldn't look into them. Sitting up, she began to put on a pair of shorts that laid on the floor and slipped on a tee shirt that was with it.

"Nick you're more than amazing to me, and I love you, I really do."

"I don't understand Stacie."

"I-I can't do this. This isn't me, it's not fair to you." She continued to move around the room packing a bag she had brought.

"What's not you? Did something happen on the beach?"

"I didn't want to surf."

"Okay, so?"

"So, we can't bet together any more."

"What?! We can't be together because you didn't want to surf this morning."

"Yes. No. Nick, just trust me, okay?"

"I am not going to let you just walk away. This is coming out of no where."

"This has been coming since I met you. It's only fair to you." She put the bag over her shoulder and stopped to look at Nick. She took in a sharp breath and looked into his hurt and confused eyes. "I'm sorry." She reached her hand up and touched his cheek. She kissed his other cheek and turned away briskly.

"If you need some space, I can give you that but don't break up with me for no reason at all." Nick chased after her.

"Nick it's for the best."

"Anastasia-"

"Good-bye Nick." She said and walked out the door.

"And she just walked out and she won't answer my calls. I just figured she would've called you," Nick told Payton frustrated.

"Nick, I'm so sorry. But no she hasn't called me, but I'm sure she will soon. I really wouldn't worry Nick, she's crazy in love with you; maybe it's just that time of the month for her."

"She just kept telling me that, the person she was being around me, wasn't her."

"Go do something and get your mind off her Nick. You know what, she's calling me right now. I'll call you back okay hon?"

"Sure, thanks Payton."

"Anytime Nick. Go for a walk on the beach and clear your mind." Payton switched over to Stacie's call. "What's going on girl?"

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"What? Where is this coming from?"

"I just realized it today, I went running instead of surfing and I am just so in love with Nick and I shouldn't be because I'm supposed to be with Ryan. Nick doesn't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating him and I am NOT a weak person. I was weak once and never again."

"Girl, you need to relax and get a drink. You've been treating Nick like he's a king and it is time to move on from Ryan. You've been going through a lot with your body. But you're going to be okay now that you found a doctor that isn't on crack. Now is the time to enjoy with Nick and with yourself."

"But now that I have this person breaking into my home, writing creepy letters and destroying my car I--"

"Need Nick more than ever and it's fine to depend on someone."

"I shouldn't depend on him."

"Have you talked to him about any of this about how you're feeling before making this irrational decision of breaking up the best thing that's happen to you?"

"No but I know this is for the best."

"You need to go to the beach, get on your board and think about what you're doing."

"My board is at Nick's though."

"So go get it."

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, just have an errand to run. Call me later or I'll call you to check in on you." Payton told her getting into her car.

"Okay, you're the best. I really wouldn't be here with without you, I love you."

"Love you too Stace. Go be a surfer girl."

"Bye," Stacie laughed a little and hung up the phone. Payton had called Nick back while she drove.

"Did you talk to her?" He asked as soon as he answered.

"I did, Nick I'm on my way over to you alright? I think it's best if I were in person to talk to you and be there."

"That doesn't sound good."

"I'll be over in ten sweetie." Payton smiled and hung up her phone and headed over to Nick's.
~*~*~*~
Stacie pulled into Nick's drive way and was surprised when she saw Payton's car in the drive way. She knocked on the door and rang the door bell and when no one answered she opened the door and walked in.

"Hello?" She called out. "Nick, it's Stace, I just wanted to get my board." There was no answer still and she walked out the back door where her board was leaning against the side of the house next to Nick's. I put my hands on my hips and looked out into the water. My eyes looked up and down the beach and I spotted two figures walking. It took me a minute to see who it was but the tall blond stuck out and I knew it was Nick.

It was obvious that Payton was the other person walking with him and Stacie walked down the beach a little. Payton had her arm around Nick's waist talking to him. Confused as to what exactly was going on, she figured it would be best to just get her board and head down to the other side where she usually surfed.

"Maybe you two aren't meant to be Nick," Payton tried reasoning with him.

"I really feel as though there is no other person I'm supposed to be with. It just doesn't make any sense to why she would just up and leave me."

"She has been through a lot and she's not exactly stable hon. She could very well be going through a break down."

"No, she's not having a break down. But she has been through a lot, she's seems as though she's been a lot better lately. I have to get her back."

"Maybe space is best for her right now."

"You think?"

"I've known the girl for years. Let her come to you. I'm sure she'll be coming around soon."

"I guess. Hey Payton, thanks a lot for being here. You're a good friend."

"Anytime Nick," the two continued to walk along the beach.

In the mean time, Stacie had gone to her spot and waited out in the ocean for a wave to catch. She must have waited at least an hour before giving up and heading back into shore. There had been a couple of waves she could have caught but her heart wasn't into it. It didn't add up to her though, surfing was the one thing she could do no matter what emotion she was feeling.

Strapping her board on top of her car, she decided to call it a day since she had to be at a school at five am the next day for a football practice.

Once home, Stacie took a hot shower and changed into comfortable pajamas and settled into her bed to call it a night. Her mind was on Nick and she couldn't help but think that she made a mistake. She fumbled with her cell phone in hand, opening and closing it.

"Just call him," I said out loud. I opened the phone and hit the send button knowing Nick's number would be listed under previous calls. As I was about to hit the send button again my phone rang. "Hey Payton," I answered.

"Hey you, how are you doing?"

"Eh, heading to bed soon. I was about to actually call Nick."

"Oh honey, good thing I called."

"Why is that?" Stacie wanted to ask about why she was over at Nick's earlier but decided against it.

"I talked Nick earlier and he's pretty upset over all of this. More angry I would say and I'd just give it a few days."

"Angry? That doesn't sound like Nick."

"What do you expect? You just lost it and left him." Stacie was a bit taken back from Payton's words. "Oh, I'm sorry Stace. Just do your own thing for a while and get yourself together a bit okay? You have been under a lot stress."

"I guess. I just miss him so much already and it's been what a day?"

"Trust me, give it a few more days."

"I'm going to bed, I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay, call me if you need anything."

"Thanks, goodnight." I hung up the phone, anticipated on whether or not to call Nick and set the phone down on my nightstand. "I can handle a few days. It will be good for me." I coaxed myself against it and closed my eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next two days passed extremely slow for both Nick and Stacie. Both trying to stay busy in his and her work and both doing everything they had within them not to contact the other person.

Stacie had however woke up that morning feeling rejuvenated and a sense of clarity filled her body. She went for an hour run, then showered and got dressed for the day. She knew exactly what she was doing and was determined to get Nick back. Dressing in a white mini skirt and light blue tank top, she went down the stairs and into her office. It was time to take down the pictures of her and Ryan and put away the things that reminded her of him. Placing the items into a cardboard box, she brought them down into the basement and onto a shelf. She then bounded up the stairs, grabbed her purse and keys and was in her car.

She put her sunglasses on, turned up the volume to her ipod that was connected and listened to "Stop and Stare" by One Republic. She did her best not to speed as she headed to Nick's place. She was stopped at a light when her phone rang and she answered.

"Hello!?" She smiled.

"Hey Stace it's me, how are you?"

"I'm great Pay, I know exactly what I want and need in my life and am on my way over to get Nick back right now!" She said excitedly into the phone.

"Oh," was all Payton had to say.

"Everything alright?"

"I'm fine, I don't want to kill your mood."

"No tell me, I don't think anything can kill my mood."

"Well, Eric and I, we broke up."

"Are you serious? What happened?"

"I don't even know, we got into a huge fight and next thing I know, our year relationship is down the drain."

"I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

"Nothing, I should probably be by myself," she sighed into the phone.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you go get Nick back."

"Alright, hang in there. I will call you a little later." They hung up and Stacie felt bad for her friend but had to keep her own spirits high. She finally pulled around the corner and saw Nick shooting hoops in his large drive way. Pulling the car to the side of the drive way, so she wouldn't disturb Nick, she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"You can do this," she gave herself a small pep talk. She got out of the car and made her way over to Nick who had shot the ball and missed. She picked it up and made a jump shot herself, making the ball into the net.

"Anastasia?" Nick asked getting the ball.

"Hey," she smiled almost shyly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nick, can we talk?"

"Sure," he said slowly and set the ball down in the grass. "Want to go for a walk on the beach?"

"I'd like that." They took off their shoes and headed down the beach.

"How've you been?" He asked shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I've been better," she shrugged. "You?"

"Same." They made it down to the shores edge and Stacie stopped, and reached for Nick's hand.

"Nick I was such a fool for leaving you. I thought I needed to be on my own and being without you made me realize that I needed you." Nick looked out to wide ocean and then back into Stacie's eyes. "I am so sorry for hurting you but I didn't feel like I was being myself around you and I wasn't because I wasn't dealing with what everything was going on."

"I know you are a strong person Stace. You have been through more than any person your age should have to go through and it has only made you stronger. But it is alright for you to lean on someone and all I wanted to be was that someone for you."

"I know you did. And it meant the world to me that you were there and your friends have been great in supporting me. I mean Brian found that doctor for me and all. I didn't want to do anything the last couple of days and today I just woke up with this whole new sense of clarity and I want to be with you and experience new things and deal with this person who is stalking me."

Nick didn't say anything and his silence was beginning to make her feel nervous. She bit her lip and knew she had to continue being honest with her feelings. She now took Nick's other hand and pulled herself closer to him. "Nick I love you."

Nick looked deep into Stacie's eyes and smiled. "Well, I just so happen am in love with you too Anastasia," Nick wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I am sorry Nick, next time I need to take some time I won't break up with you."

"I'll send you to Hawaii if you need a half time from us."

"It really wasn't you I needed,did you just say half time?"

"Maybe."

"Ugh, you're such a guy. But it wasn't you I needed a 'half time' from. It was really me."

"I understand." The two continued to walk the beach and headed back to Nick's house and were surprised when they saw Payton sitting out on the patio.

"Payton, what are you doing here?" Stacie asked going up to her. "Are you okay?" Payton stood up and shook her head and brought her hands to her face.

"I can't imagine life without Eric." She began to cry and Stacie looked at Nick who took it as a cue to leave the girls alone. "Nick you don't have to go," Payton reached her hand towards Nick. "I'm sorry for spoiling your day, it looks like you two are back together and are happy."

"No it's okay, you don't have to apologize, you know that. Have you tried calling him Pay?" Stacie asked.

"He won't answer, it just rings and rings," she then broke down and started crying harder and put her face into Nick's chest. Stacie shrugged her shoulders apologizing her for her friend.

"Like you told me, give it a few days," Stacie tried to comfort her friend.

"I guess so, Do you two mind if I hang with you for a bit today?"

"Uh, no not at all. Let's order a pizza and vege around today. Nick did you have plans?" Stacie asked.

"Nope, I'll go order." Payton then stood up and hugged Nick.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Well, you were there for me a couple days ago." Nick smiled back and went inside.

"And thank you, I know you're just fixing things with Nick." Payton then hugged Stacie.

"It's really alright. I mean there were countless nights I'd show up at your front door without warning. Let's go inside."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Next Day~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So I will see you tonight?" Nick asked into the phone.

"Yeah, I'm just going to stop over to Payton's and see how she is doing."

"Okay can't wait to see you."

"Bye babe," Stacie hung up and finished getting ready. She packed a small bag and then got into her car to head over to her friends. She tried calling Payton but she didn't answer and knew she didn't have to work today. Stacie pulled into the driveway,next to Payton's car and climbed out. She walked up to the front door and rang the door bell twice. When there was no answer, she tried the door and it opened up.

"Payton you home? It's Stacie." She stepped inside. "Hello?" I walked through the living room and to the kitchen. "Payton, your car is here and the door is opened." When there was no answer she went up stairs and headed towards Payton's room. "Payton?" She then knocked on the door and when there wasn't answer she pushed it open. The room was empty and she stepped inside to look around. The bed wasn't maid, and on it, lay a box. Letting her curiosity get the best t her she walked over to it. In it were pictures of her and Stacie. There were also a bunch of pictures of Ryan and Payton. Pictures of Ryan, Payton and where Stacie should've been, but she had been cut out. Confused she looked deeper into the box and found articles about Ryan's accident.

Not sure why Payton would have kept all of the things she did, she walked out of the room feeling uneasy when she walked right into Payton.

"Something I can help you with?"

"I just came to see how you were doing and your door was opened."

"So, you thought you'd come up to my room."

"To see if you were there, I-I didn't go in. I was just seeing if you were maybe sleeping."

"I was in the basement doing laundry. And I'm doing fine, so you can leave. I'm sure you have plans with Nick."

"Actually I do," Stacie swallowed the lump in her throat and backed up a little. "You doing okay? You don't seem like yourself P."

"Oh, I'm peachy. Actually Eric called me this morning all upset, telling me how much he loves me and can't take another day without me."

"That's good, right?"

"Eh, we'll see. I kinda have my eye on someone else right now. Maybe this break up was best. But you better run along now, good-bye," she pushed me towards the stairs and I went to my car.
~*~*~*~At Nicks~*~*~*~

"And so I left, she just wasn't herself at all."

"Well, I wouldn't worry your pretty face over it. I have tonight planned for you and I want it to be special. I was going to have us go try to catch a couple of waves but it's pretty rough out, we're supposed to be getting a storm."

"I heard on the radio but I love watching them. Anything I can do to help?"

"No, go up stairs into my bathroom and you'll see what you can you do." Stacie raised an eye brow and gave Nick a look of questioning. "Just go," he kissed her lips and watched as she disappeared. Stacie went into the bathroom, where the lights were on dim and candles were all around. They were on the steps up to the bathtub, on the counter, the ground and window sill. The bathtub was full of bubbles and rose petals sprinkled on top. There was a note next to a wine glass, along with the wine in a cooler.

Take your time and relax with a glass of your favorite wine. When you're good and relaxed, go into my room and look on the bed.
XoX Nick

Stacie smiled and slipped off her clothes and stepped into the warm bath, welcoming the relaxation. She poured herself a glass of the chardonnay and sipped on it, forgetting of anything that may have been bothering her. After twenty minutes, she pulled the plug, and wrapped a towel that had been laid out for her. Doing as the note asked her to, she went into Nick's room and looked on the bed.

There was a bag with another card on it and she read the card first.

Saw this today and thought of you in it. Put it on and come down stairs for dinner so I can look into your beautiful eyes and tell you just how much I love you.
XoX Nick
"He's too much," Stacie said to herself as she stuck her hand in and pulled out a white summer dress with pink flowers on it. She slipped it on and was surprised that Nick got her size right. She usually was between a size four and a six and the size Nick picked out wa a four. She pulled out her make up bag from her over night bag and touched up her make up before going down stairs.

When she went down Nick was waiting at the bottom with a bouquet of mixed wild flowers. "You look beautiful," he smiled and handed me the flowers. "Stacie, everything has been right since you walked into my life and I honestly have never felt a strong for someone as I do for you. Anastasia, I love you beyond words, beyond

"Means a lot to me you know me so well. And you don't look so bad yourself Carter." He was wearing a pair of jeans and a nice dress shirt.

"Well, you're not exactly a dressy girly girl, simple and sweet I like to say. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, it smells good." Nick took her hand and walked her into the dining room where he had dinner spread out on the table, two candles were lit. Nick pulled out a chair for Stacie and then took a seat himself. "Nick this is really sweet of you."

"You deserve it."

"Even after leaving you the other day?"

"I knew you'd be back," Nick grinned and served the food.

"How so?"

"Because I am irresistible."
~*~*Two Days Later*~*~

"Thanks for meeting me Nick," Payton said sitting at the table at a cafe shop.

"No problem. What can I do for you?"

"Do you want something to drink, coffee?"

"I'm all set, I can't stay too long actually. I have to meet with our tour manager later."

"Oh, alright. I just wanted to apologize again for just coming over the other night. I've felt really bad about it."

"It's really not a problem, we're glad we could be there for you. Have you talked to Eric since that morning when Stacie came to see you."

"A couple of times asking me back but maybe I just need to be myself for a while," Payton shrugged a shoulder and sipped her coffee.

"I can understand that."

"You can?"

"Sure, I've been in relationships where I just need a break and take time to remember who I am."

"Well, enough about me. Are you and Stace okay?"

"Stronger than ever. I really love her."

"That's great. How is she today? I was kinda surprised you agreed to meet me."

"She was fine when she left this morning, what do you mean?"

"It's just Ryan's birthday."

"It is? She didn't mention it to me."

"Oh, maybe she didn't want you to know. Where did she go this morning?"

"She just said she had some things to take care of." Nick watched as Payton ran a hand through her short hair and had a look of worry in her eyes. "Should I be worried?"

"I don't know, probably not. I just don't know why she wouldn't tell you, she's probably at his grave all day."

"I thought he died in Buffalo, NY though."

"He did but they lived here, so he's buried at the cemetery off of third street. She mentioned she might go when I talked to her about it a couple of days ago." Nick looked down at his watch. "I hope she can handle it."

"I have to head out Payton. I will talk to you later okay?" Nick put a hand on Here this is for your coffee," Nick threw a ten on the table and got up.

"Go ahead, run off to her. She won't be around much longer and you and I can be together."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look if it weren't important Howie I would be there. Please it's just a preliminary meeting to start talking about this tour that might not even happen. I'll meet up with you guys later and you can fill me in."

"Alright man, call me later."

"Thanks," Nick hung up the phone and continued to drive to where Payton said Hailey might may be. He pulled through open iron gates and slowly drove up a hill and down another one, looking side to side for Stacie.

He turned around a corner and out in the middle he saw Stacie kneeling down in front of a head stone. He parked his car and thought for a moment on whether or not he should even be there. Maybe there was a reason she didn't tell him where she was going that day. Nick felt as though he should be there for her and go out, trying his best to close his car door quietly.

Slowly, he walked up to his long haired girlfriend and put his hands into his pocket. "Don't you know not to sneak up on anyone in a cemetery Nick?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"I could smell your cologne. What are you doing here?"

"I met with Payton this morning and-"

"Met with her?"

"She called me as I was heading out and asked if she could meet with me. She wanted to apologize again for the other night."

"She told you I was here?"

"Yeah, she said she thought you might be here."

"Might? I told her last night I would be here and also told you not to mention it to you."

"Stace why wouldn't you tell me?" Nick asked concerned and Stacie stood up and looked into Nick's eyes.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey Nick I'm going to go see my dead fiance today because it's his birthday.' Seriously Nick."

"Well, yeah."

"I guess I just don't want you to think that I haven't moved on. I'm here because I feel like I have to be. I'm with you now and I don't know. I'm here for more than just his birthday, I wanted to say goodbye."

"Anastasia I know that it's going to continue to take time and it is only time that is going to completely heel you. But I really want to be here for you during that time and I want us to be open and honest with one another."

"I'm sorry Nick."

"Come here," Nick pulled Stacie into his arm and kissed the top of his head. "No more secrets?"

"No more," she pulled away a little. "There's someone I want you to meet, he's already given me his blessings for us to be together. Nick this is Ryan, Ryan Nick." Stacie held Nick's hand.

"Hi Ryan. It's a pleasure to meet you, I wish it were under better circumstances. I just want you to know that I am going to take care of and treat Stacie in only the best ways. I do truly love her and I know exactly why you had asked for her hand in marriage." Nick again had pulled Stacie to him, so her back was leaning against the front of Nick.

"I love you too," Stacie tilted her head back and Nick leaned over to kiss her lips. "Didn't you have a meeting at like," she looked at her watch, "now?"

"The fellas can handle it without me. I had somewhere more important to be. Do you want to stay longer, I can just head home."

"No, I'm good. Just give me a minute to say my final good-bye." Nick kissed her again and then said, "Nice meeting you," and walked towards his car.

Stacie watched as Nick went to his car and leaned against it with his back. She then looked down to the grave. "I guess this is it Ryan. I will always love you but like I said earlier, it's time for me to move on and give someone else my love. Happy birthday Ry," she kissed her finger tips and placed them on the head stone and stood up. She walked over to her car that was parked in front of Nick's and went to him first.

"You want to go home?"

"I just want to snuggle with you," she put her arms around him.

"Your place or mine?"

"How about mine, I have to get my medicine, I didn't take it today."

"See you there," they kissed each other briefly and got into their cars.
_________________

Nick and Stacie got to her house twenty-five minutes later and pulled into her parking lot. Stacie went up to her and unlocked it as Nick stood behind her.

"Are you hungry? It's about lunch time," she asked.

"I'm okay right now. Unless you're hungry?"

"Not really," they walked in and she set her purse and on the table by the door. She picked up a bottle from the window-sill above the sink and opened it. The last pill of the bottle dumped into the palm of her hand, she put it in her mouth, turned on the faucet and stuck her head under it, getting a drink.

"I gotten you a glass if you asked," Nick laughed. Stacie stood up and dried her mouth with a towel.

"That would've been too much work," she laughed. "I have to call in my prescription, I'm out."

"I'll go pick a movie to watch and we can be bums for a while."

"Perfect," she pulled out her cell phone and called her pharmacy. She gave them her Rx number and they told her it would be ready later that afternoon for her. Stacie went into the living room, Nick had a movie in already and was lying on the couch. Stacie pulled a blanket from the chair and brought it over. She snuggled into Nick and pulled the blanket over the both of them.

"Why are we watching Finding Nemo?" She laughed a little.

"Because it's a great movie and a happy movie!"
~*~*Later On~*~*
Both Nick and Stacie had fallen asleep before the movie got half way through and Stacie was woken up when her phone began to ring. She picked it up off the floor and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Stace it's Payton, did I wake you or something?"

"Yeah, Nick and I were just taking a nap. It's alright."

"Oh sorry, I was just calling to see if I could stop by to pick up the shirt I let you borrow a while ago."

"Yeah sure, if I'm not here, Nick will be. I have to pick up my prescription in like a half hour. I'll leave it on the table."

"Hey I'll pick up your for you. It's pretty much on the way."

"Really? That would rock because I'm too comfortable lying here."

"No problem. See you in a bit." They hung up and Stacie turned to face the sleeping Nick and snuggled into him deeper.
~*~*~
Payton had picked up the prescription for Stacie and got into her car. Before going to see Nick, well, get her shirt that she didn't plan on wearing any time soon; she came up with an idea and opened the bottle of pills. They were large peachy color and reminded Payton of her vitamins she took daily. She always kept a travel sized bottle in her purse and took one out and put the two side by side. They were pretty much identical, the only difference was the small F that was printed on Stacie's pills. Taking the chance, Payton dumped the prescript pills out into her hand and counted out how many there were. She then counted out the same number of vitamins and put them into the bottle. She put Stacie's pills into her vitamin bottle and put the bottle back into the bag it came in.

"Let's see what this does to our poor little anemic angel," Payton grinned, put her car into gear and drove over to Stacie's.
~*~*~*~

Forty-five minutes later the door bell rang and Stacie got off the couch, careful not to disturb Nick who was still sleeping. She answered the door and Payton walked in. "Here are your pills," she handed Stacie the bag.

"Thanks so much, oh, let me get the shirt." She placed the bag onto the table and went up stairs into her room to find the shirt. Payton walked into the living room and saw Nick sleeping on the couch. She stood over him and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen over his eyes.

"Here it is," Stacie called out coming in.

"He's passed out huh?" Payton laughed.

"Yeah, he's been sleeping all day. I'll get him up in a minute. So where are you going tonight that involves you wearing this sexy shirt?"

"I have a date," Payton lied.

"With whom?" Stacie put a hand on her hip.

"I met this guy at work the other day, he asked me out, I said sure why not. He's taking me to this very hip place he says."

"Well, call me tomorrow and tell me all about it!" Stacie smiled at her friend.

"Count on it. Oh, also, I wanted to talk to you about Nick meeting with me."

"He told me, it's fine. He came to see me at the gave and we talked and things are good. So, thank you for opening your big mouth," Stacie laughed.

"Anytime, okay well I have to go get ready. Tell Nick I said hi whenever he may wake up," Payton glanced at Nick one last time before leaving.

"Okay Nicky time to wake up," Stacie sat on the edge of the couch and shook Nick a little.

"Five more minutes."

"Nick, we slept through the entire beautiful afternoon. It's already six."

"Damn. I should call the guys about the meeting."

"Have them come over, I'll make some pasta and salad."

"I'll ask," Nick took out his phone and sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Stacie took the movie out of the DVD player, put it in it's case and then turned on the television flipping through the channels. Nick had called Brian and was talking to him rubbing Stacie's stretched out legs over his lap.

"Okay Brian and A.J. are coming, they were together I have to call Howie."

"Great, are their other halves coming?"

"No, you may be the only girl tonight. Can you handle being surrounded around the Backstreet Boys?"

"I don't know, I may faint," she laughed and Nick called Howie.

"Yeah just come on over and we'll have dinner and talk about what I missed today," Nick spoke into the phone. "Okay see you then," he hung up.

"Okay you have to feed four boys now."

"I'll go get started," as she went to sit up, Nick pushed her down on the couch and kissed her.

"What was that for?" She asked pulling away.

"Just because. Now go make dinner woman!" Nick pushed her up.

"Come help make the salad!" She pulled Nick's arm and they went into the kitchen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So, I really didn't miss much," Nick asked taking another bite of his dinner.

"Yeah, we should just start the tour March. That gives us the holidays with our family, we'll just be missing winter and it's almost a year away to get a set list, routines, opening acts and all of that." Brian explained.

"Okay so I'll call them and let them know we agreed to March tomorrow," Howie agreed.

"By the way Stace, this is an awesome dinner." Alex thanked her with a mouthful.

"Nick helped, he made the salad." Nick looked up and grinned and then all of a sudden jumped up from his seat.

"I have an idea!" Nick yelled.

"Uh oh, should we start running now?" Brian joked.

"What's that babe?" Stacie asked.

"You can be our trainer, like for injuries and getting us into shape again."

"That's a great idea and then you can come a long and keep our girls company," Howie nodded his head.

"I don't know Nick. I'm already part of a school."

"You have plenty of time to give a two weeks notice. Don't you want to come?"

"I think it would be a lot of fun and I would love to see your shows and spend time with you."

"You'll get paid a lot more this way than at a school." Alex added.

"It's not about the money."

"Well, think about it Stace okay?" Nick asked pleading with his eyes. She nodded her head and then asked, "Who wants dessert?"
~*~*~*~
Almost a month had passed since Ryan's birthday and Stacie was now living with Nick for the most part. She claimed she only moved in to get to the waves easier and not for Nick. They both had been busy with work, Stacie sports training at games and personal training here and there as well. Nick and the guys were meeting every day to get the tour under way.

"Come on you're taking days to paddle out," Nick called out Stacie as he paddled on his surf board. She finally reached Nick and and lay on her stomach breathing hard.

"I feel like I'm out of shape."

"You work out every day though."

"Doesn't mean I don't feel like I'm out of it. I need to rest a minute."

"Maybe you're getting sick," Nick questioned sitting on is board.

"I don't know." She sat up and put her hands on her hips looking out into the ocean.

"Or maybe I'm just getting in better shape than you, I mean I did finally win with our run two days ago."

"I let you win I told you," she laughed and then got ready for a wave. "Actually you take this one, I'll wait a minute."

"Okay," Nick got ready and then began to paddle to get the wave. Stacie felt shaky and had actually felt weak for the past two weeks. She often was light headed and although she had promised to keep nothing from Nick, she for some reason kept this from him. One of the best waves she saw of that morning came rolling in and she began to paddle hard. The wave rolled under her board and she stood up taking it in. As she came close to finishing the wave out she had another dizzy spell and fell backwards into the water.

Nick had already began paddling with his board back out to the ocean after his wave he caught, he watched as Stacie took her wave and cheered her on. Out of no where he watched as she fell backwards and figured she slipped or the wave just wasn't as good as it looked. When she didn't pop right back up he swam to where her board bounced up and down.

"Stacie!" He yelled and he began to get a little nervous. When he reached her board he dove under the water and saw her struggling to swim upward. He unstrapped the board from his ankle and reached her, wrapping an arm around her waist he swam her up to surface. He had her body go up onto her surfboard and pulled her into shore. She was coughing as Nick picked her up and set her down into the sand.

"What happened?" He asked lifting her chin to meet her eyes.

"I got a little light headed." Nick looked her over and noticed she was pale in the face and her body was shaking.

"Let's get you home. Nick looked behind him and saw that his board was down a little ways on the beach. "Let me grab the boards and put them behind the rocks." Stacie nodded her head and Nick put a towel around her shaking body. He jogged down t he beach, quickly got the board, picked up Stacie's and put them behind the rocks. He then went back to Stacie and helped her to her feet. "Okay?" He asked and she leaned into his body, he kept an arm around her and they went back up to Nick's house.

"I think I'm going to shower and lay down." She told Nick stepping inside and followed her up to the bathroom. "Nick I'm alright now. I'm just kind of tired. I think I may just be getting the flu."

"You have been real busy lately. Take tomorrow off?"

"I can't, I have a soccer game I have to be at. I'll take Tuesday off, it's just a practice and a client for training."

"Okay, well shower, I'll make you some tea and breakfast before you take a nap."

"You're the best," she went on her tip toes and kissed Nick.

"I know," he smiled and he changed out of his suit and began making breakfast.

Stacie turned on the shower, slipped out of her bathing suit and then took out her braid in her hair. She stepped into the warm shower and let the water run down her. As she finished washing the shampoo out of her long hair, an overwhelming sense of nausea hit her and got out of the shower and got sick into the toilet. After a minute, she stood up, put a towel around her body, brushed her teeth and then went into the room to get dress.

"You look worse than you did earlier, were you getting sick?" Nick asked as he put a plate of food on the bed and the tea on the night stand. Stacie nodded her head and climbed into bed, curling into a ball. Nick picked out a pair of his boxers and one of his hoodies and put them on her. "I'm going to call Payton and have her call the school and let them know you can't come. You probably don't want french toast huh?" Nick asked rubbing her back. Stacie shook her head no and sat up a little. "Try some tea," Nick handed her the cup of warm tea and she sipped on it. "If it is the flu you're going to need a few days off baby."

"It has to be the flu." Nick was silent for a moment and then took in a deep breath.

"Is there any chance you could be...well, pregnant?"

"No, I have my period right now. I use birth control and you use a condom."

"I had to ask, because it is morning and you did get sick."

"I'm not pregnant Nick." She set the tea down and lay her head on the pillow.

"I'm going to call Payton for you. Get some sleep," Nick helped Stacie climb under the covers and kissed her forehead.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Are you sure you're up to working out with us today, you still look like you're not one-hundred percent," Nick asked Stacie as they walked to the car with their gym bags.

"It's been over a week now, the flu is gone." She stated as she climbed into the passenger seat. "And I have to get the Backstreet Boys in shape in eight months."

"I just don't like how pale you are and the make up isn't hiding it," Nick started the car and drove to the gym.

"Hey ready for day one of me kicking your butt?" Stacie asked Howie giving him a hug hello.

"We'll see, I'm in pretty good shape." He smirked.

"We will see. Now go, all of you ten minutes on the bike." Stacie directed. After she had them do a five minute stretch and then worked legs, biceps, triceps and abs. After an hour work out they headed outside to start their run.

"Three miles?" Alex whined.

"No worries, we'll go slow but, I have a feeling you're going to want to quit smoking after this." Stacie smiled and they began jogging slowly down the side walk.

After doing a slow jog for about an hour, they finally reached three miles and made it back to the gym. "I told you, I don't care how long it takes, because we're going to do this as a group. We'll do three miles until we can get it under forty-five minutes and then go to four and up. In a few weeks, you'll be singing as you run." Stacie explained to them. "See you guys tomorrow for tae bo!" She said excitedly.

"I'm so glad we've been running together this summer," Nick told her putting an arm around her shoulder walking to the car.

"Me too."

"So, we really get to play laser tag?" Nick asked raising his eye brows.

"Yes, tonight with Payton, her knew guy and some other friends."

"Sweet, I'm going to kick your butt." Nick told her opening the car door for Stacie.

"I'm pretty bad, so it won't be hard to." She laughed and tilted her head back feeling exhausted from the work out. The two went to Nick's to shower and relax a little before meeting Stacie's friends at Laser Quest. Stacie had just lied on the couch for a few minutes to rest and ended up falling asleep.

"Baby wake up, we have to head out." Nick rubbed Stacie's arm.

"Hmm?" She asked sleepily.

"Laser tag, we're going to be late if we don't go in five minutes."

"Oh, okay." She sat up and brought a hand to her spinning head.

"Stace?" Nick asked in a knowing tone.

"I'm fine, let's go," she stood up and put her sneakers on.

"I'll drive," Nick said still not buying what Stacie was telling him.

"Alright," she got into Nick's car and went to Laser Quest.

Once there, they walked up to Stacie's group of friends and Payton was with her new guy Rome. After tehy introductions, they went into a room where they put on their vests.

"What's you code name?" Nick asked Stacie putting his vest on.

"Mystique, after the Xmen chick. What's yours?"

"Kaos," Nick nodded his head grinning.

"There's a shocker." They were allowed in and everyone went their own way. It turned more into a game with just Nick and Stacie because they kept trying to get each other. On their third game, Stacie was wiped out and she stayed mostly in the upper chambers hitting people. Only five minutes into the game however, she was sweating more and breathing was something she had to concentrate on.

"Nick," she called out walking slower heading down the ramp to the lower level. She knew he wouldn't answer to her and continued to move around. She held on to the walls to help her balance and felt herself being tagged in the back. She looked down at her gun to see who was shooting her. "Dragonfly," it read and that was Payton. She as hit again and again by her and the room began to spin and she fell her to her knees. Stacie looked up trying to see if she could find Payton, her eyes took glance at Payton just above her before everything went black.

"So have you thought about coming on tour with us any more?" Nick asked Stacie holding her hand as they walked down the beach. The sun was setting, reflecting off the water. It looked as though a million diamonds had been thrown into the water and sparkled endlessly.

"I have," she told Nick and stopped walking. They both took a seat into the cool sand to watch the sun go down. "And honestly Nick, I don't know if this categorizes me as crazy but I can't stand the thought of being more than a few hours apart from you. And if you'll still have me, I'd love to come and be your guys' trainer." She leaned into him and kissed his lips. "You have my heart, how could I not go."

"You make me feel so good, how do you do that?"

"I'm just that good," she winked and kissed Nick again. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek.

"You fit perfectly in my arms, you're truly an angel sent to me." The continued to kiss and Stacie pulled away.

"We missed the sunset," she pouted a little.

"I was looking at something more beautiful."

"Who knew, Nick Carter could be such a charmer."

"There's a lot to get to know about Nick Carter."

"I'm looking forward to taking the time in getting to know you. I feel like you know me so much more."

"I'm lucky to know you at all."

"You really have been able to open me up though. There's no one else I've been able to just be me."

"I know the feeling." They stayed in each other's arms a little longer and the stars began to appear in the sky. "Come on let's get you in, I can tell you're fading on me."

"I am a little tired," Nick had stood up and took Stacie's hands into his, helping her to her feet. They went into Nick's house and into the kitchen to make dinner.

"What do you want?" Nick asked looking into his refrigerator.

"Something light," she shrugged and looked into the refrigerator with him. "Mmm, strawberries," she reached inside and pulled out the bowl of strawberries she had washed and put in the day before.

"You need something more," Nick told her but she stuck a strawberry into his mouth and then went on her tip toes to kiss kiss Nick.

"I have all I want, you and these strawberries," she then took the bowl and ran up stairs into Nick's room. Nick followed her quickly and then jumped on the bed.

"Strawberries might do for dinner tonight," Nick said in a sexy tone and crawled beside Stacie. "But I think I'll take dessert first," he said as he kissed Stacie hard on the lips. She let out a soft moan and then pulled Nick on top of her.

"I want you," she whispered and bit his lip before kissing him some more.
~*~*~*~*~
"Nicky wake up," Stacie kissed Nick's bare chest.

"I don't wanna," he whined and put his face into the pillow.

"It's a beautiful day and I have they day planned for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh hmm, but you need to get your butt up first."

"Are you going to feed me? I am kinda hungry after only having strawberries for dinner." Nick asked with his eyes still closed.

"Maybe, now get up!" She pulled the sheets off of Nick.

"Hey," Nick sat up. "You should've just told me you had your swim suit on, I would've been up in a heart beat."

"Where would the fun be, now get your shorts on and I'll be down stairs."

"It's only six-thirty."

"You know the drill, let's go!" She bounded out of his room and down stairs.

After another ten minutes, Nick finally appeared down the steps yawning. "Drink this and walk," Stacie kissed Nick's cheek, handing him a mug of coffee and went out the sliding glass door. They went down the beach, boards in their hands and Stacie talked about how great the waves were looking.

"You took your medicine?" Nick asked.

"Yes Dad, now let's go in!" She threw her towel into the sand and ran out into the water. Nick shook his head, took a long sip of his coffee and set the mug down and went into the water.

They continued to surf for the next hour until the waves calmed down and the sun had fully rose. The air was warming up, there wasn't a cloud in the blue sky and it was as though nothing could go wrong. Heading back up to the house Nick asked Stacie what else she had planned. She just told him to get into the car and go with the flow. This is exactly what Nick did and got into the passenger seat of Stacie's car.

"Tomorrow I have the long day of meetings with the fellas," Nick said putting his sun glasses on.

"I know, that's why today I wanted you to have fun and be relaxed. I know things are going to start getting busy. We can probably start our work outs again the day after tomorrow."

"Just as long as you're feeling up to it."

"I was able to surf without blacking out, that's a start," she laughed lightly.

"Very true." Nick then watched Stacie as she drove. The windows were down, the sun roof was opened and her hair flowed in the wind. The golden locks captured the sun and Nick smiled as her eyes sparkled.

"You're staring," she said as a matter-of-fact.

"You look amazing today," he smiled, referring to the white tank top she had on and jean mini skirt over her bikini.

"And you're not looking so bad yourself Carter." She winked and then put her sunglasses that were on top of her head over her eyes.

A few minutes later Stacie pulled into a parking spot and Nick began grinning.

"Last time we were on the boat, it didn't turn out to be the best. But now it's just you and I and the ocean. I would've had you like meet me here and I could've pulled the boat out but then I remembered I didn't want any more accidents," she laughed a little and unbuckled her seat belt. They climbed out of the car and Stacie popped the trunk, pulling out a cooler.

"Please tell me there is food in there," Nick joked.

"Actually just water bottles," she said seriously handing Nick the cooler and pulling out a large beach bag.

"What?!"

"I'm kidding, I packed a large lunch and snacks Nick."

"Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry." They walked hand in hand to the boat launch, where Stacie got in and Nick got the boat ready.

Within ten minutes, they were out in the ocean, speeding into open waters to spend an unforgettable day together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was six o'clock when Nick and Stacie decided to head back in. As though it were on their sides, the sun was slowly heading down and Nick got into the drivers seat to drive.

"Nick wait, I want to give you something," Stacie stood up and pulled out a box from the large beach bag.

"What's this?" He asked as she handed him the brown wooden box, shaped as treasure chest.

"Open it," she sat on Nick's lap, her arm around his neck, soothing his hair back. He looked one more time up into her eyes and then carefully opened the box.

He then began to go through the contents one by one. There were a bunch of large, silver charms scattered on the bottom.

"There's a charm for each moment that has ever meant something to me," she bit her lower lip nervously. "The surfboard, well, I think that's for obvious reasons, the music note for your love of music and helping me express my voice better. The crutches, although you were hurt because of your ankle, is to remind us how we met."

"How could I forget?" Nick laughed and picked up another charm.

"This heart here, is my heart and it fully belongs to you Nick." Nick then picked up the sun.

"For our surfing at sunrise and our walks at sunset?" Nick told her and she nodded her head. He also found a charm of a roller blade, for the first time they went together, and Nick made a fool of himself.

"The snowflake is for when you took me to the mountains, that's when I first knew I was in love with you."

"Is this boat for today?"

"Yeah," Stacie said almost shyly. There were also a few pictures of Nick and Stacie together, a couple movie tickets, sea shells and a letter.

*This is a chest that has our memories of the best times together locked up. It will continued to be filled, as you and I grow closer and our love grows stronger. You have been rock, (thus the cool rock that I found on the beach one time in here) during times I didn't think I was strong enough to hold myself up.

I am blessed and thankful every day that I have you as a part of my life. No matter where our future may go from here, I will love you and cherish the moments; the good and the bad.

Whenever you may feel alone, lost or just want an extra reason to show off that amazing smile, open this chest. Keep it close to you as I keep you close to my heart.

With all my love.
~*Anastasia*~

"Do you like?" Stacie asked Nick as he folded the piece of paper up, placed it into the chest and closed it.

"Baby, this has to be, the most meaningful gift I have ever gotten. I don't know what to say."

"Just kiss me and show me what you may want to say," she smiled and Nick put his hand behind her head,pulling her to his lips and kissing her with every inch of love in his body.
~*~*~*~
"So what are you going to do while I am gone all day?" Nick asked wrapping his arms around Stacie to say good-bye.

"Well, I'm going to stop over to Payton's because she refuses to answer my calls and is being stubborn about the other day and then I have a lacrosse game to train at four. I should be done around six-thirty."

"I should be done at five, do you want to come to my place or back here tonight?"

"You can go on home, I'll come over when I'm out."

"Sounds good, can't wait to see you later." He pulled her in for a kiss. "Mmm I am going to miss that today."

"Oh stop, I'll see you in like," she looked at her watch, it read eight am. "In about twelve hours," she laughed. "But go, you're going to be late, and then Brian will call and blame me."

"No he won't."

"Good-bye, have a good day. Tell the guys I said hello."

"Will do, I love you," he kissed her one more time.

"Love you," she smiled and Nick went out the door.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You're serious Nick?" Brian asked sitting at the large table waiting for the meeting to begin.

"I really don't think I've been more serious in my life. She's the one."

"Well, I'm happy for you, for both of you."

"So, on lunch, you'll go with me to get a ring?"

"Get a what?" Alex asked sitting down drinking a Mountain Dew.

"I'm going to ask Anastasia to marry me."

"You're doing what?!" Howie asked taking a seat across from Nick and Brian.

"Going to ask Stace to marry me."

"I never thought I'd hear Nick say those words." Howie admitted.

"Hey, I'm right here."

"Sorry, but congrats man." Howie smiled.

"So Rok?"

"Sure, I'll go with you, we all will."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Stacie had reached Payton's house and put her sunglasses up on top of her head. She got out of her car and went to the front door to ring the door bell. She rang it three times and waiting a minute or two before the door finally opened.

"Hey," she said as Payton appeared at the door.

"Hi," said and leaned against the door frame.

"Can I come in?" Stacie asked and Payton hesitated for a moment before stepping to the side and letting Stacie in.

"I just want to talk about the other day and you know I hate when we fight." Stacie said.

"I'm over it." Payton said simply and they went into kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Then why haven't you been answering my phone calls?"

"Want something to drink?" She asked ignoring the question.

"I'm fine, thanks. So, the phone?"

"I've been busy. We have the same job, you know how it goes."

"Yes but seriously P. I never meant to hurt you, I know you were close with Ryan and I just over reacted."

"It probably was weird to see the pictures out, I just had been thinking of him that day for some reason."

"I know how that goes."

"We're cool?"

"Yeah, we cool," Stacie laughed and they hugged each other. Just then Payton's phone rang, held up her finger to say, 'hold on a minute' and answered it. "I'm just going to use your bathroom." Payton nodded her head and Stacie went up stairs to use the bathroom. When she was done, she noticed the music playing from Payton's bedroom, recognizing, Nick's voice immediately. It was "I Need You Tonight," the song ended and it was on repeat.

Allowing curiosity getting the best of her again, she opened the door and went inside the bedroom. As she walked over to the stereo to turn it off, she saw a large chest opened. It was almost like a shrine, of Nick. There were pictures that were clearly of him and Stacie together but Stacie had either been cut out or Payton's face had been cropped in to replace her face. She then saw the sharpie markers and pictures of her broken in windshield and her and Nick standing outside the car.

"You never know when to stop being nosy do you," Stacie jumped at Payton's voice.

"Payton, explain this to me. There is a good explanation for this, I know." Stacie was now standing, still holding the picture of her and Nick at her car the day it had been broken into.

"Like what? All I have for you is, yeah I did that."

"What, why? I don't understand."

"Are you really that naive or just dumb." She then walked over to a shelf and pulled out the box Stacie had seen before the pictures of Ryan. She then dumped out the contents onto the bed for Stacie. "I guess you really didn't get a good enough look last time, look at these pictures," she handed Stacie pictures of Payton and Ryan together, a couple of them she remembered being taken but then there was a picture of Payton and Ryan kissing.

"You, kissed Ryan?" She stumbled over her words.

"Kissed, made out, slept with, numerous times. He was really in love with me don't you see."

"You're lying, we were engaged."

"Well, the day he died, was the day he was going to tell you everything. You've blocked out that day, doctor's blamed in on trauma. He told me he was going to boarding and you were skiing that day. He put on YOUR ski bindings, he wasn't supposed to ski."

"He barely boarded though."

"He told me he was going to that day, I thought the skis in the garage were yours."

"Payton you-"

"Broke the bindings before you guys went on that mountain. YOU were supposed to be skiing, YOU'RE supposed to be dead, not him. I knew he would've backed out, he didn't have the balls to break up with you." Payton handed Stacie a letter that was written in Ryan's hand writing. Tears threatened to pour out of Stacie's eyes, as the words, "I love you Payton," and "I promise we'll be together soon," and "forever," popped out of at her.

"So, you've been writing the threats and breaking in."

"Yeah but now I've moved on from Ryan and well, Nick's going to be mine."

"Nick could never love you. Especially after he finds out what you've done." Stacie still holding the letter turned away from Payton and began to head for the door but Payton stood in front of it.

"Out of my way," Stacie pushed Payton but Payton stood at least five inches taller than Stacie and blocked the doorway.

"I don't think so." She took a hold of Stacie's throat and pushed her hard backwards, Stacie tripped over the chest and fell hard on the ground, her head hitting the corner of the dresser as she fell knocking her out. "Oops, look what I've done." Payton smiled and took Stacie's on consciousness to her advantage to dispose of Stacie.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"This ring is definitely perfect for Stacie, simple and elegant," Brian told Nick as Nick put the small velvet box in his pocket.

"Now I have to come up with the perfect way to ask her. I should take her out for dinner tonight."

"You might want to give her a call and make sure she doesn't grab something after work."

"True," Nick took out his cell and called Stacie. It was only one and knew she wouldn't be at work yet, so when she didn't answer, he was a bit surprised. "Hey baby, it's me. Just calling to tell you not eat dinner tonight, I thought we could go out, let's say eight? Hope your day is going well, love you." Nick hung up and then called to make dinner reservations at a nice Italian restaurant.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Payton, it doesn't have to be this way. Just let me go," Stacie said weakly as Payton drove her somewhere. Stacie's head pounded and she wanted to sleep, she had a concussion and did her best to stay awake. When her phone rang, Payton reached across and pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it.

"Can't he go a few hours without you?" Payton then threw the cell phone out the window and Stacie put her head back and let the tears of frustrations lip down her cheeks.

"Alright guys, I'll call you tomorrow to see if we're going to do a work out with Stace," Nick said walking up to his car.

"Good luck tonight," Brian gave his best friend a brief hug.

"Thanks man, later," Nick got into his car and looked at the clock. It read four-forty-five and Nick decided to go surprise Stacie at the high school where she would be training at the lacrosse game. He patted his top pocket in his button down and felt the box and smiled. He took it out and put into the glove box of his car until later that night.

Nick pulled into the parking lot and went down some steps that lead out to the large field. Parent's were cheering for their kids and kids were yelling. Nick wondered if he had gone to high school what sports he may have played. As he got closer to the field he scanned it looking for Stacie. He stood still for a moment and after not being able to spot her, he wondered if he had the wrong field or school. But there were no other games going on at this school and could he really have gotten a different school that was playing a game at the same time? He went out to the field and went up a man holding a clip board.

"Excuse me sir, I'm looking for Anastasia Stevens, Stacie."

"So are we, she was supposed to be over almost two hours ago. We're just lucky we've had no real big injuries."

"She never showed up?"

"No," the man then walked briskly walked down the field yelling something at a player. Nick then took his phone out and called Stacie as he walked back to his car. It went right to voice mail and without leaving a message he got into his car. He then called Payton remembering that she was going to stop over there. It rang four times and then the voicemail picked up.

"Hey it's Payton, leave a message," then it beeped.

"Payton, it's Nick. I was just wondering if Stacie was over there or if you knew where she was. Give me a call, thanks." Nick hung up and with confusion drove back to his place.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Drink it, all of it," Payton shoved a liquid into Stacie's mouth.

"What is it?" She asked. They were now at the beach, not too far away from Nick's. In fact, Payton had stopped to get Stacie's surf board and then drove down the beach a little ways. She barely remembered getting into a car or getting to the beach. She had gone in and out of consiousness. Had Payton been planning this? She couldn't have been, because how would she know Stacie would find the shrine of Nick?

"DRINK!" She shoved the cup into Stacie's mouth and she drank the contents, emptying the fluid into her mouth. It was water with something bitter mixed into it.

"Good, now put your suit on," she threw Stacie's swim suit at her face.

"It's broad day light," she told her looking around.

"No one comes over here, its a private beach. Put it on or this knife here is going in you and you can join Ryan sooner than planned." Stacie saw the knife glisten in the sun as it went up to her throat. Her head was pounding and she felt drowsy from hitting it. She took the suit and took her clothes off and slipped it on quickly.

"Payton why don't you just talk to me."

"Talk to you? I have to set up an appointment to talk to you. You're with Nick or working."

"That's not true, I'm always here for you. You kept shutting me out!"

"Enough, strap the board on." She jutted the knife towards the board and back at Stacie. Stacie put the strap on the ankle and Payton told her to stand up.

"I can't go out in the water, I can hardly keep my balance sitting up and I'm starting to feel sick to my stomach."

"Oh that, that's just all fifty of your medication pills you didn't take for a month because someone mixed them up with vitamins."

"That was you?"

"Yeah and those pills aren't supposed to be crushed. But oops how else would I get fifty of them into your system? Now stand up," Payton pulled Stacie's long hair to get her to her feet. Stacie yelped in pain and struggled to get to her feet. Her head spun and she felt as though we were going to throw up. She almost prayed she would throw up soon to get the medicine out of her system, she had no idea what might happen.

"Payton, you're supposed to be my best friend."

"I was for years, I listened to you cry and whine and bitch about how your poor heart hurt so much over Ryan and then you weren't sure about Nick. Ugh, I'm sick of you and your sob story, now take your board and walk your ass into that water." Just then Payton's phone rang and she took it out of her pocket, still pointing the knife towards Stacie. She saw it was Nick and laid it in the sand. She knew she was running out of time. "MOVE!" Payton grew impatient and the knife sliced the side of Stacie's stomach. She grabbed her side and with her board slowly walked into the ocean.

The salt water stung her cut and she fell into the water walking in. Her head pounded, her heart ached and she wanted Nick. Besides for the cut, her stomach grew sharp pains in her abdominal. She knew it was her medicine starting to digest and she thought about trying to stick her finger down her throat to make herself sick. Payton however, was a step behind her in the water.

"Tell Ryan I said hello and that I will always love him. But for now, I'll have to go get ready to comfort Nick, my soon to be husband." She smiled. "And if you think about trying to swim back into shore, Nick himself will be joining you in the ground at some point. Oh, by the way read the back of your board." Stacie doing her best to tread water, turned her board around and read what was writing in paint.

I'M SORRY. I CAN'T BE ONE MORE DAY APART FROM RYAN. STACIE

"Suicide? Nick will never by it!"

"You've attempted once before." Payton grinned and swam back into shore. She threw the knife into the rocks, picked up her phone and made her way back to her car.
~*~*~*~
Nick reached his house and was surprised when he found Stacie's car in the driveway. He had wondered if something had happened with her and Payton or if she wasn't feeling well. He unlocked the door and went inside.
"Stace, baby you here?" He asked walking in. He checked the bedroom, the bathroom and living room. When he didn't find her he went out the sliding glass door to see if she had gone outside. Her surfboard was gone and he looked out onto the beach trying to spot her.
~*~*~*~
Stacie tried to paddle back into shore but the current was strong and she was spinning uncontrollable. The shore looked so far away and she lay her head down on the board to rest for a moment. She wouldn't quit, as long as she stayed on the board she would be okay and maybe eventually drift into shore.
~*~*~*~
Nick was now walking down the beach trying to find Stacie. If her car was there and her surfboard was gone, she had to be out Although this wasn't a good time to catch waves. He took his phone out and checked to see if he had missed any calls.
~*~*~*~
Stacie now lay on her board, her arms hung into the cool waters, her eyes closed. The water was rough and Stacie had now drifted a few miles away from Nick's house. A wave came up and knocked her into the water and her body began to sink into the water. She tried to swim to the surface but her arms felt as though she had weights on them. 'I can't die like this,' she thought and struggled to kick. Her head finally appeared above the surface and she coughed trying to get air into her tight lungs. Her heart was going a million miles an hour and she blamed it on the medicine that was forced down her throat. She reached her hands up to get her board but couldn't seem to grab it. Slowly she began to sink back under. The only thing that kept her form going into the deep waters was the fact she was still strapped to her board.
'This is it' she thought sadly and thought of Nick. Water filled her nose, mouth and then lungs and then all was black.
~*~*~*~
After walking up and down the beach for almost an hour Nick went back to the house thinking she might have gone back and he some how missed her. As he reached the patio, he saw that her board was not back in place and he went inside to make a few more phone calls.

"Brian, I'm starting to worry."

"I'm sure she's out with Payton, you said she wasn't picking up either."

"It's not like her, it's already seven and this was when she was supposed to be home."

"Relax man I'm sure she's alright. I think you're just anxious because you want to propose to her so badly."

"Maybe, alright I'm going to go try and call Payton one more time."

"Okay, I'll keep my phone on in case I hear anything."

"Thanks," Nick hung up and then dialed Payton's number one more time. It rang twice and she answered.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Payton it's Nick."

"I saw the caller ID, I was going to call you in a minute actually. I got your message."

"Is Stacie with you?"

"No, I haven't seen or heard her all day," she said cleaning her room.

"She was going to stop by to see you today, she didn't?"

"No, I haven't talked to her in a couple of days actually. You don't know where she is?"

"She didn't show up at work and her surf board is gone and her car is here but I haven't been able to get a hold. She's not answering her phone."

"That's weird Nick. I'll try giving her a call if you'd like."

"Sure, just have her call me if she shows up."

"Of course. Call if you need anything." Nick hung up the phone and was now worried. The sun had almost fully set and Nick kept his eyes out to the beach. His phone was clenched in his hand and when nine o'clock rolled around he called Brian.

"She's not home," Nick told Brian before Brian could even get in the word,'hello.' "Payton called and she hasn't talked nor seen her all day. Brian if she went surfing and something happened, oh, God, what should I do?"

"I'm on my way over," he told his friend and hung up the phone. It took Brian about forty-five minutes to get to Nick's from where he was living and when he got there, Nick was pacing back and forth in front of the patio entrance.

"I called the police," Nick spoke still pacing. "They won't do anything until she's missing for twenty-four hours. That's ridiculous."

"Nick, why don't you sit," Brian put a hand on Nick's shoulder. "I'll give someone a call and maybe get some strings pulled for us."

"I already tried and just because I'm a pop start doesn't mean @#%$."

"How many hours until we can call again? I told them she had been missing since about nine this morning, that's when she was supposed to go see Payton. So, tomorrow morning at nine."

"That's another eleven hours. Look go up to bed, get some sleep and I'm sure she'll call or show up in the morning."

"You don't understand, I feel it in my gut that something is terribly wrong."
~*~*~*~
The next morning Brian woke up from sleeping on Nick's couch to Nick yelling to someone. He looked over to where Nick was still pacing and saw he had his phone up to his ear.

"Missing twenty-two hours is how long she's been missing, what is two more hours, besides the fact she could be in more trouble than she may already be in. Now if you don't send someone over here within the next ten minutes I am going to be sure someone there at your police department will be sued!" Nick's voice then calmed a little and he gave directions. Brian had gotten up and began making coffee in the kitchen, it was seven in the morning and it was obvious Nick hadn't slept at all.

"Someone coming?"

"Yeah," Nick walked in, took a seat at the counter and put his head into his hands. He was tired but couldn't manage to get any sleep knowing that Stacie wouldn't be in his arms that night. The two friends sat in silence drinking their coffee when a door bell rang. "Finally," Nick said and stood up.

Nick went to the door, his coffee still in his hands and opened it. Two officers were standing there and Nick told them to come in and offered them coffee. They accepted it graciously and Nick began telling them how he first began to worry about Stacie's disappearance.

"And you say she had notes that were threats, her house broken into and her car vandalized. The same care that's in your driveway?" The female office asked.

"Yeah, but i got it fixed. They have the evidence of the picture that had the note and other stuff down at the station."

"Evens, want to find the two that were on that case and get the evidence," the female officer told the male officer. He nodded and pushed his radio and sent out a call. "Have you tried to contact her parents?"

"No, they live in San Diago, I don't have their numbers. Payton might, I'll have her call them."

"And you say she is a surfer and her board is missing. Would you say she's a good surfer or just does it once in a while for fun."

"She's pretty extreme, she goes every day at least once a day. The best time to go is around six am or five at night. We had both slept in yesterday until seven thirty because we both had to work long hours. She was supposed to be at a lacrosse game at three that would go until about six or so. I went down to the school and she had never showed up. Stacie is a sports trainer."

"Do you have the address for that school?" The officer asked writing everything down. Nick then gave the name of the school and address along with the description of the coach he had talked to.

"How do you plan on finding her?" Nick asked intently.

"We need to get a coast card, search and rescue out on the water and see if maybe she has turned up." The officer told Nick she would be right back and went outside.

Nick had called Payton and asked her to contact Stacie's parents and let them know everything that was happening. Payton told Nick that she would be right over as soon as she did. Within two hours, the house became more packed with police officers and the guys had come over to check on Nick but were asked to leave shortly. Brian was allowed to stay however and watched as Nick continued to make calls to Stacie's phone.

Eleven am rolled around when the female officer came up to Nick. He hadn't seen or talked to her in about an hour and half. "Mr. Carter, I need you to come with me please."

"Did you find her?" Nick asked standing up from the couch.

"Please just follow me," she said and Nick gave Brian a glance begging with his eyes for him to follow. Brian got up also and followed Nick and the officer into a police car. She turned on the siren and drove down a windy road a ways, following other police cars. When the car came to a halt, they were parked on the beach where there were at least a dozen different emergency cars and a crowd.

"What's going on?" Nick asked as he got out of the car.

"A body was found on the shore this morning by another surfer. A female surfer, fitting the description of Miss Stevens. We have reason to believe it's her but we need you to identify. I'm sorry Mr. Carter," she told him and began walking down the beach. Nick had tuned out the last part of what she said, all he heard was that a body had been found on shore. It couldn't be Stacie. She's too good of a surfer to drown.

He and Brian were escorted down the beach by three policemen. Another policeman lifted a yellow tape line that had been placed around a small area and they went under it. Nick first saw the hand with homemade bracelet's on it and knew immediately who it was. One more glance at the body that lay in front of him and Nick had turned around, fell to his knees and began getting sick.

Brian had instantly dropped to his knees and put an arm around Nick, then looked up to the officer and nodded his head in agreeing it was indeed Stacie.

"No it's not her!" Nick yelled, he wiped his mouth with his shirt and tried to stand but his knees wouldn't allow him. Brian caught his devastated friend and held him in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Nick," Brian whispered not knowing what to say. "Can we get him back home please?" Brian asked an officer and tried to pull Nick up to his feet.

"I'll take you back," the female officer offered and helped Brian get Nick up.

"It looks like it was a suicide," another officer came over and told the one that was helping Nick up. "There's a note on the board."

The female officer only nodded her head and they each put one of Nick's arms around their neck's and dragged him to the car. Nick stared out the window and Brian was shocked to see that Nick hadn't shed a single tear. Brian himself had as soon as he saw who it was and continuously brushed them away so he could be strong for Nick.

When they arrived back to Nick's house, Brian and the officer had to drag Nick in. He hadn't spoken a word, let out a tear or shown any emotion on his face.

"I'll be in touch Mr. Carter, again, I am very sorry for your loss," the female officer said sympathetically and eventually the house was empty besides Payton, Brian and Nick.

"Brian what's wrong with Nick?" Payton asked walking into the living room. Brian had managed to get Nick to a couch and sit down.

"Payton, I don't know how to say this to you since you're her best friend but," Brian was cut off.

"You pretty much just did, what's wrong? They found her, is she okay?" Tears began to fill Payton's eyes.

"I'm sorry, but she's dead. They found her body on the beach this morning." The tears spilled out and she brought a hand up to her mouth and then took a seat next to Nick. She wrapped her arms around his neck but Nick pushed her away and stood up.

"I should call her parents, Payton I need her parent's number. I never got to meet them and for the first time I'm going to have to talk to them about their daughters death."

"Nick, why don't you let the police do that. You just lost your girlfriend, you need to take care of yourself right now." Brian had a hand on Nick's shoulder.

"I don't know how she could've drowned, she shouldn't have been in the water. She wouldn't have lied to me about going to work and to Payton's."

"Nick, look at me," Brian tried to get Nick to stop moving around.

"Suicide though? She wouldn't kill herself,she gave me her heart the other night in the chest and we declared our love in so many different ways. She was happy."

"They say people get really happy just before they're going to kill themselves because they know it's over. Nick she was an unstable person." Payton tried explaining.

"NO DAMMIT, she did NOT kill herself!" Nick yelled out and the room began to spin beneath his feet and he fell to the ground. Brian did his best to catch his frend but wasn't too successful.

"Nick? Nick wake up," he slapped Nick's face lightly. "Payton get me a cold washcloth. I think he's in shock." She went into the kitchen and a minute later came out with the wash cloth. Brian put it on Nick's forehead and propped Nick's head up with a pillow that was on the couch. Brian looked over to Payton who was stroking Nick's hand and couldn't help but notice how fast the tears had stopped. He knew Nick was purely in shock over it all but she cried for about thirty seconds and was then done? Hell, Brian couldn't keep back his own tears still.

Nick moaned a little and moved his head side to side. He looked up to Brian who was sitting over him and then at Payton. "You're alright Nick, you just fainted. How are you feeling right now?"

Right now? How did he feel at that moment? Numb. "Brian is she really?" Nick asked in a voice that reminded Brian of a time when they first started touring and Nick was fourteen. He had been home sick and was afraid to admit that he was. But Brian had taken him in as a brother and the two became inseparable.

Brian couldn't do a thing, he looked into Nick's lost eyes and only nodded. It wasn't a bad dream, Stacie was really gone and there was nothing to bring her back. Nick rolled over on his side, his face buried into Brian's knees and he began to cry. At first the tears were quiet and then turned into loud sobs of pain and anger.

"Get it out Nicky, I'm right here." Brian did his best to console his friend.
~*~*~
"How is he doing?" Leigh asked Brian who had walked into the living room.

"Not great, he cried himself to sleep in the guest room," Brian took a seat next to his wife.

"I can't believe she's gone, just like that," Leigh put her arms around Brian.

"He was going to propose to her last night."

"What?" Leigh pulled away a little.

"He bought the ring yesterday, we spent two hours looking for the perfect ring."

"I feel horrible for him, her family. Are they coming down?"

"Nick called them before we came here. He wanted to be the one to tell them and they'll be here tomorrow some time. There's an autopsy being done."

"I thought you said it was suicide?"

"They want to rule out everything. There was a cut on the side of her stomach that they're not sure how it got there. Did you hear about the gift she gave Nick the other night?"

"No, what was it?" Leigh asked rubbing her husband's back, trying to sooth him because she knew he was getting upset. Brian then went on and told her about the treasure chest, the charms and letter.

"And that did it for Nick and he became more determined than ever to marry her. I just don't get it, she had told him she completely had moved on from her fiance; but the suicide note was saying how she couldn't be away from him."

"She DIDN'T kill herself!" Nick said as he came around the corner.

"Nick, I thought you were sleeping?" Brian asked and Leigh had stood up and went to Nick, wrapping her arms around him.

"I keep seeing her body laying on the beach," Nick pulled away from Leigh and sat in a chair.

"Are you hungry honey? I can fix you something to eat." Leigh offered and Nick shook his head no.

"You haven't eaten all day bud," Brian told Nick.

"I'm not hungry!" He stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going for a walk." He opened the door and walked out.

"He's going to need some time and space Brian. I'm just glad he agreed to come stay with us."

"I know, I know."

~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning Brian woke up to Nick moving around his house. Nick had showered and was dressed in nice clothes.

"Good morning," Brian said pouring a cup of coffee.

"Hey can I borrow your car since I don't have mine? I need to meet Stacie's parent's to make arrangements, I'll probably be gone all day."

"Sure, keys are on that hook right there," Brin pointed by the door and Nick took the keys off of it. "You want me to go with you Nick?"

"Nah, I'll see ya later," Nick went out the door, leaving Brian worried. Nick got into Brian's Beamer and opened the window's, welcoming the cool morning breeze. It was just eight am and he was meeting Stacie's parent's at a funeral home. He was nervous and felt almost guilty, as though he blamed himself for Stacie's death. It was a fairly short drive, just thirty minutes and when he reached there he sat in the care a minute to make sure he was composed. He looked into the review mirror and noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He didn't sleep at all the night she was missing and she sure as hell didn't get any sleep the night before.

"Good as you're going to get Carter," Nick told himself and pulled himself from the car. Slowly he walked up to the white house-like building and walked in. There was a couple in there fifty's that stood in the waiting room. He remembered seeing pictures of them in Stacie's house and walked up to them. "Mr. and Mrs. Steven's?" Nick asked.

"Nick?" The father spoke up first.

"Yes," he held his hand out and shook Stacie's father's hand and then looked at her mother. Stacie had her mom's eyes and petite nose. "Mrs. Steven's," she took her hand and covered it with his left hand. "I am so sorry. If there were something I could've done, I would have. I loved your daughter very much."

"We know Nick and she loved you. She called us every day just full of energy and ranting about you. Its nice to finally meet you." Mrs. Steven's told Nick.

"I wish to God it weren't under these circumstances," Nick said apologetically.

"Hi, my name is Richard Jone's and I'm going to be in charge and helping you with everything you need for a beautiful and memorable service for your daughter," a man wearing a suit came up to Nick and the Steven's. "Please follow me," he guided everyone to a small room with leather chairs and a deep cherry wood table.

"I first would like to let you know, I want to take care of all the costs." Nick turned in his chair and faced Stacie's parents.

"Nick that's not necessary but very generous."

"Please, I had planned to ask your daughter for her hand in marriage the other night, bought a ring and everything and if I can't have the wedding, I want to help out with this." At that moment Mrs. Steven's eyes began to water and she brought up a tissue she had been holding in her hand, to her eyes.

"Well, thank you Nick." Mr. Steven's nodded his head to Nick.

"Alright, well first have you decided if you would like your daughter cremated or buried?" Richard opened a leather book and held a pen in his hand.

"I would think she would want to be next to Ryan, I mean that's the reason why she took her life." The words from Mrs. Steven's mouth stung Nick. Especially since he was certain Stacie did not take her own life.

"We should maybe wait on that until we get the results from the autopsy?" Mr. Steven's said and Nick was secretively thankful.

"That's fine, we can come back to it later or tomorrow. How about the memorial service, did you want to have it soon or wait?"

The meeting for funeral arrangements went on for another hour. Nick did his best to try to stay along with everything but his mind tended to wonder. He knew exactly what kind of funeral she would want but didn't feel as though he had the right to speak up. It looked as though Mr. Steven's could see right through Nick however and then spoke up at the end.

"Nick we put in our ideas and of course we never dreamed of having to do this, we always figured she would be putting us into the ground years from. You two were obviously very close, what do you think Anastasia would have wanted?"

"I think everything you have mentioned Sir sounds beautiful but Stacie should be where she spend the most of her time. The ocean. It not only may have taken her life but it gave her so much life and spirit. I think, I know she would've wanted to have a beach or water front wedding and I'm pretty sure she would want everyone to remember her surrounded in her natural surroundings. Perhaps we can do a memorial service right on the beach and if you choose to have her creammated then we could let her be free over the ocean." Mr. Steven's smiled with tears in his eyes and nodded his head.

"I don't think she would have it any other way, what do you say Ruth?" Mr. Steven's asked his wife.

"Sounds like Stacie."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day Nick was playing basketball with Bailey outside and Brian was inside with A.J. and Howie who had stopped over to see Nick.

"He hasn't slept in three days and all I was able to get him to eat was a piece of toast this morning," Brian told the guys looking out the window at his son and Nick.

"Maybe we should see if we can get hime to talk to someone if he wont talk to us," Howie suggested.

"It's too soon. The girl of his dreams just died two days ago. You said he went and met her parent's yesterday to set up arrangements?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, the service is going to be this Saturday at the beach behind Nick's place. His idea."

"This is so surreal," Alex shook his head and then Bailey came into the house.

"Bailey buns, how's it going?" Alex asked picking up the child.

"Uncle Nicky made me come in."

"Why's that?" Brian asked.

"He's on the phone and was getting angry at someone." Bailey told the guys.

"Why don't you go play with your video game and then we'll come play with you in a minute. We're going to go make sure Uncle Nick is alright," Brian explained to his son.

"Okay Daddy," Bailey bounded off to his play room area.

Howie, Alex and Brian went outside to see who Nick might have been talking to on the phone.

"I knew it but it's your job to find out who now! Do NOT call me back until you find the bastard!" Nick closed his phone and then kicked the basketball that lay on the ground across the yard.

"That's not a soccer ball," Brian tried to joke a litle.

"Nick who was on the phone?" Howie asked.

"One of the dectives on the case. The autopsy came in."

"Nick?" Brian went up to Nick closer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Her system had about an entire bottle of her medication in it. They found-" Nick took in a deep breath and let it out trying to compose himself. "They found the back of her head had been hit with something and that she had a concussion during the time she was in the water. The cut that was on her stomach-" Nick's mind flashed back to the day on the beach they found her body. Her face was blue, her eyes were staring at Nick wide open, almost a cloudy color and the cut that was fairly deep on her right side of her abdominal. Nick's face began to pale a little, and his head began to spin.

"Nick do you need to sit?" Brian asked with concern.

"I'm fine. But the cut was from a freaking steak knife. The writing on the surf board was from someone who is right handed, Stacie was a lefty."

"So she didn't kill herself?" Alex asked.

"They haven't totally ruled it out..."Nick's voice trailed off again and his breathing started to quicken.

"Nick you alright?" Brian asked and watched as Nick sat down on the chair.

"I need to sit," he said still breathing hard. Brian looked over to Howie and then Alex.

"Uh, Nick, you are sitting." Alex pointed out the obvious as Nick then slid off the chair and onto his knees to the ground. Brian dropped to his own knees and Nick reached up to Brian's shoulders to balance himself.

"I feel like I'm spinning," Nick's head dropped down and Brian tried to get to sit up against the chair he had slid off of.

"I think you're having an anxiety attack, put your knees in between your knees," Brian said southerly keeping a hand on Nick's shoulder. Nick at that moment want to run up to his room, okay Brian's guest room and get away from the guys. He hadn't them seeing him so vulnerable and weak. However, he was pretty sure his legs wouldn't hold him up at that moment.

Nick's phone then rang again and Brian took it out of his hand to look at it.

"Nick it's Payton, do you want me to talk to her?" He asked.

"No I will," Nick took his phone back and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey Nick, I stopped by your place but you weren't there." She said into the phone.

"I'm at Brian's for a while."

"How are you doing? I talked to Stacie's parent's just a little bit ago and they told me about the autopsy."

"Yeah and it obviously wasn't an accident. When they catch this son-of-a-bitch I'm going to kill them with my own hands." Nick said so calmly it scared Brian and the guys to hear him say something like that.

"Nick Stacie wasn't as stable as you or I or anyone else would like to think. She could've taken those pills and the cut could've been from some coral or rocks."

"Well, if you weren't so selfish about yourself maybe you would have been around to notice just happy she was with life." There was a pause of silence and then Nick spoke up. "Payton I'm sorry I just-" Then there was a dial tone. Nick closed his phone and put his face into his hands. "I'm going to go lay down," Nick struggled to get to his feet and Brian helped him. "I'm fine," he pulled away sharply and then went down to his room.

"Should we call his sisters?" Alex asked.

"Not yet, let's get through the next week and funeral." Brian told them, frustrated knowing he couldn't do a single thing to make Nick feel better.
~*~*~*~
It was the day of the memorial service and everyone in the Littrell house was up early, showering and getting dressed. Bailey watched cartoons with Nick as his parents finished getting ready.

"Mommy says we're going to the beach today. Why do I have to wear this tie if I'm going to the beach Uncle Nicky?"

"You don't have to wear a tie," Nick reached over and took the tie off bailey. Nick himself was just wearing a pair of dress pants and a black button up.

"Alright you ready?" Brian asked walking into the room with Leigh Ann. Nick stood up and walked outside to get into the car. The four of them got into the vehicle and drove to Nick's where the memorial service was being held. The service was private and only close friends and family were invited. The forty-five ride there was silent, besides Bailey making airplane noises with his toy model.

Once they arrived Nick stood outside of his home looking at it. He hadn't stepped in since the day Stacie's body was found. Brian had gone with Leigh to pick up Nick's clothes and necessities to get by for the next couple of weeks. With the Steven's family, Nick had set up a caterer for after the service to be held in his home so that Stacie's family wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

"Let's just go down to the beach," Brian had a hand on Nick's shoulder. The sun was warm, there was little breeze and the ocean was fairly calm. There was a podium and chairs set up down the beach and there were already a group of people there. Payton was talking to Mr. Steven's and Mrs. Steven's was talking to a Priest. Nick walked up Payton and put a hand on her arm.

"Payton, I'm sorry for the other night. I've just been-"

"I know, I'm sorry too," she pulled Nick in for a hug.

"Are you going to speaking today?" Nick asked looking out to the ocean.

"Yeah, she was my best friend and I never got to say good-bye properly." Nick nodded his head and then turned his attention to Mr. Steven's.

"Good to see you again Sir," Nick shook his hand.

"Everything looks great, thanks again for all of this Nick."

"We're about to get started," Mrs. Steven's came over and Nick pulled her in for a hug.

"She's looking over us today," Nick told her.

"I know, I can feel her Nick. She was very lucky to have met you." She smiled and they went to take their seat. The Priest went up and talked for a brief period of time, followed by an aunt of Stacie's Nick never got the chance to meet. It was then Payton's turn.

"So, Stacie was always better at speaking in front of people than I. In fact she was pretty much better at everything and I always was 'the best friend.' I loved being her best friend," Payton took a moment and looked at Nick. "When she wasn't doing what she loved best, surfing, she was being a best friend, saving a life or making a total stranger smile. Stacie had her ups and downs just as any person does but she always bounced back and always stronger. She never let anything keep her down for too long and was always looking at the bright side of things. Not only was she a bet friend to me...Stacie was...excuse me," Payton looked up to the sky and wiped the tears from her eyes. "She was a sister. Always will she be in my heart. God rest your soul Stace. Don't cause too much mischief up there." Payton then stepped down.

"Thank you Payton, we have one final speaker today. Nick Carter, please step up." The priest said into the microphone. Nick took in a deep breath, looked over to Brian and Brian nodded his head.

Stepping up the podium, Nick put his hands on the wooden box and looked over the the blown up picture of Stacie and the urn that sat below it. "Most of you don't know me because I wasn't given the pleasure or time to get to know you yet. My name is Nick and I was and am madly in love with Anastasia. In fact," Nick pulled out a velvet box from his shirt. "I was going to ask her to marry me the night she went missing." Nick opened up the box and place it by the urn. "I'm sure I would've made a fool of myself proposing and I'm sure Stacie would have told me I was making a fool of myself. That's the kind of person she was, honest. Like Payton mentioned, when she wasn't surfing she was saving someone, that's how in fact we met. She had been surfing, just over by that jetty of rocks over there," Nick pointed off to the distance, when I had been running and fell into a hole, spraining my ankle. Without thinking twice, she took me to the hospital and then had me take her out for chocolate chip pancakes for lunch. I swear she could eat those breakfast, lunch and dinner." There was a brief moment of laughter in front of Nick and he smiled. "But, as good of a person she was, she was a pain in the butt and it was her way or the high way. She was just that confident in the person she was and was becoming. I will forever cherish the moments spent with Stacie and keep her dear and close to me. May you continue to reach for your dreams in another life and always be with the waves. I love you Anastasia," Nick looked back over to the urn and then walked back down to his seat.
~*~*~*~*~*~
At the end of the service, mostly everyone headed back up to Nick's for something to eat and Nick had stayed back with the Steven's, Brian, Howie, Kevin and A.J.

"Nick, it would mean a lot to Stacie if you were the one to, you know-" Mrs. Steven's handed Nick the urn.

"Are you sure?" Nick asked.

"Please." Mr. Steven's told Nick with an arm around his wife. "We'll leave you alone but please come up to your home after, I would like you to meet some of Stacie's family."

"Of course," Nick nodded his head and looked down at his hands. The guys then went up to Nick when he was alone and each of them had a hand on Nick. "I don't know if I can do this. I mean I know she would want this but it's almost like it's not her in here."

"We'll go up to the water with you, come on," Brian told Nick and together they all walked down to the water.

"I can't believe this is my final good-bye. I'm never going to see her again, or hold her in my arms or..." Nick broke down and on cue the four brother's wrapped there arms around Nick.

"We're here for you buddy," Kevin told Nick. Brian had called him a few days prior and when he heard how Nick wasn't dealing he knew he had to be there for Nick. The five stayed in silence, knowing this was exactly what Nick needed. After a few minutes passed, Nick pulled away and rubbed the sleeve of his shirt over his face drying his tears.

"I need to do this now," he said and then walked closer to the water, faced the opposite direction of the wind, and slipped off his shoes. He rolled his pants up to his knees and stepped into the cool water and opened the urn. He then slowly tilted the urn downward.

"I will always love you," he said and then dumped the ashes into the wind and into the water letting the waves take them out the ocean. He stood in the waves for a couple of minutes then began to walk down the beach. He had rolled his sleeves up because the hot sun was beating down on him and reached the jetty. Nick took a seat on a rock and the memories he had spent since the first day he met Stacie flooded his mind.

Nick sat with the urn next to him for a good thirty minutes when he decided to head back to pay his respects to Stacie's family. As he stood up, something shiny caught his eye as the sun bounced off of it. He looked down into the rocks and saw a knife sticking up. A steak knife.
_________________

When Nick saw the knife he couldn't believe his eyes, his first instinct was to pick it up but from watching too many episodes of CSI he knew better than to. He took out his cell phone and wallet out of his pockets. Inside his wallet he took out a card with the name of a the detective working on the case. He explained to him where he was and what he found. He also told him to come from the other side away from Nick's home. Stacie's parent's didn't need any more stress on them that day.

Nick then put in Brian's numbers. "Hey could you just let Mr. and Mrs. Steven's know that I'm going to be a little longer than planned please?"

"Of course, do you want one of us to join you out there?" Brian asked.

"No, I just, well-" Nick debated on whether or not to tell Brian about his findings yet or not. "I just need a few more minutes."

"Alright Nick." Nick hung up the phone and waited by the rocks. He wanted to get a closer look to the knife but he was told to only stand by it and not touch any more of the area. Within fifteen minutes, two squad cars pulled down to the beach with flashing lights. Nick was thankful the sirens weren't on.

"Where is it?" The detective asked and Nick pointed him to where the knife stuck out between two rocks.

"And you didn't touch it?"

"No sir."

"Alright, we have your statement and number."

"Is it alright if I go back to the funeral?" Nick asked squinting because of the sun.

"Sure thing. We will keep you informed as well as for the Stevens." Nick nodded and went back up to his house.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Five hours had passed since Nick had found the knife. Everyone had gone home besides the guys and were helping Nick pick everything up.
Nick then had explained what he found at the beach, leaving everyone speechless.

"So, it really could've been a murder." Howie asked drying the dishes on the counter.

"I don't know. Thanks for everything you guys have done, if you want to head out I can finish the rest." Nick told them.

"Nonsense, we'll finish cleaning and we're doing a guys night." Kevin told him sternly.

"I don't think I can stay here though," Nick looked around. Any evidence of Stacie being there was up in Nick's room where Leigh had put everything. The memories however surrounded him like a thick blanket.

"We can go back to my place," Alex offered.

"Yeah, I already told Leigh Ann I would probably be with you tonight." Brian told Nick.

"Okay. Well, I want to get this cleaning done with and out of here." Everyone agreed and within an hour the house was cleaned and they were packed up to head over to A.J's.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That night the guys hung around A.J's playing pool, watching a few comedies and ordered a pizza. They did anything and everything to keep Nick's mind occupied. That was until about ten o'clock at night when Nick's phone rang. Howie hit pause on the movie as Nick answered the phone and all eyes were on Nick.

"Hello? Yes this is...have her parent's been notified...I understand. Me?...Do I need to come down?...I just never saw it and neither did Stacie...I understand....okay...bye." Nick hung up the phone and stared down at his hands.

"Nick was it the detective?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah."

"What did he say?" Brian asked.

"She didn't kill herself and the blood on the knife was Stacie's. The finger prints were of Payton's."

"WHAT?!" Brian spoke up first.

"They got a warrant to go to her house and its a match to her steak knifes and her room was full of pictures of me and of Ryan."

"Stacie's ex boyfriend that died in the ski accident?" Howie asked.

"I have to get some air," Nick stood up and went for A.J's front door.

"Her speech at the funeral today was kind of sketchy," A.J. admitted.

"Nick was right a long that she didn't kill herself though, that has to give him some peace." Brian thought.

"It's unreal. You think you know someone..." Howie's voice trailed off.
~*~*~*~
Nick walked around the gated in block and wrapped his arms around himself. The air was cool but still fairly warm, but he shivered as he continued to walk. He tried to make sense of everything and the more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. A bunch of 'what if's' swam through his mind. The biggest was, 'what if I hadn't gone to that meeting that day'? He would've most likely would have been with Stacie, he would have gone to the game she had to train at, they would've gone to bed together and then woke up the next day together.

It wasn't fair. That's all he just kept saying to himself and he kicked a rock. The days before today he was in denial of everything and took it all in as a nightmare. Today, the funeral, the knife and the phone call set everything in stone. How was he going to carry on with life? He knew that he didn't want to at that moment and he fell to his knees on the pavement. "Anastasia!" He yelled and began crying the tears, he felt would ever stop.

The End*~