We were both young when I first saw you / I close my eyes & the flashback starts…

Something tapped her window from outside. Her forehead crinkled, questioning what she believed she had just heard. Silence followed the supposed phantom sound. With a tearstained cheek resting on her balled up comforter, Bree sniffled and drifted back into her state of sorrow.

Why did he have to go now?

And why he couldn’t he take her with him?

Another tap. She sat up this time and perched on the edge of her bed, wondering if her ears deceived her. It was a short distance to reach out from the edge of her bed to the window, and she did so carefully. Pulling back the satin drapery, she let out a small gasp when a face stared back at her.

“Nick.” She whispered his name with exasperation and a hint of elation.

He smiled back at her, challenging her not to do the same. She lost that fight as she peeked over her shoulder to double check her door was closed. She remembered that not only was it closed; it was locked tight as well. She was angry at the world and didn’t want to let anyone in.

For him, though, there was always an exception.

“What are you doing here?” She threw open the window.
“I had to see you one last time,” He replied quietly, as not to call attention to himself. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Bree fought the lump back down into her throat. “You have to go, Nick. You’re following your dream. Wouldn’t you want the same for me?”

“No.” He stuck out his lips in a pout. “No, I would convince you that all you needed was here, with me.”

She laughed slightly at his idealistic response to hide her pain. “Always the drama queen.”

“Don’t be like that,” Nick reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Don’t pretend like you’re not hurting.”

Bree shrugged her shoulders and rested both elbows on the windowsill. Their noses almost touching, she extended her neck out to kiss his cheek. “I already said goodbye to you this afternoon. Don’t make this any harder.”

He stared blankly at her. “How much harder can it really get?”

“I…” Her voice cracked. “I’m already going through a lot right now and you want to come and drag this all out. It’s not fair to you or to me.”
“I don’t want to do that to you…” He started.
“Then why are you here?” She insisted.

She could feel her eyes beginning to brim with tears as she struggled to keep a brave front. Nick threw one leg over into her bedroom before she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you have a death wish?” She whispered to him as her eyes darted towards her door.
“I’m not afraid of your dad.” Nick scoffed, now with both sneakered feet on her floor.
“You should be.” She motioned for him to get out. “He’s extra overprotective now that Mom’s gone.”

“Why does he think he needs to protect you from me?”

Bree felt like a rod had been shoved into her heart as he peered at her with his honest, endearing blue eyes.
“I’m just saying,” She whispered. “I don’t think it would look good if he caught you trying to sneak into my room.”
Nick grabbed a hold of Bree’s hand as he exited out the window. “Then come with me.”

“What?” Bree shook her head.

“Meet me down at the water, in ten minutes. Will you? Please?” He leaned back in and cupped her chin in his hand.

Bree hesitated. It had only been two months since her mother had left, and her father had been licking the wounds for the both of them. To make matters worse, she was beginning to resemble her mother so much that every time her father looked at her, Bree felt as if she was pouring salt into those wounds. She felt like she was being constantly monitored, making sure she wasn’t going to have the same mental breakdown her father was having. Nick and her ambition for the dream of another life were the only things keeping her sane these days. She turned away from him and swore she could actually hear Nick’s disappointment float out around her. This could be the last night in a very long time she had contact with her sanity. It was going to continue to be a long, bumpy road for her. Nick was leaving tomorrow into a strange new world that could tear him away from her. Miles were going to be undeniable as they rolled out between the two of them. As his fame grew, people would be filtering into his life and influencing his days. He could evolve into a completely different person, and she could never see the same Nick again. Her Nick. Every single metaphor Bree could think up for a best friend, Nick was to her. He had been since they were little. A thought wondered in and settled deep, down into her brain: this was her last chance to be with him and the friendship that meant everything to her. She would have to tell her father good night, turn off the light in her room, and deal with the consequences in the day light. Taking a deep breath, she faced him again and nodded.

Nick’s eyes lit up the dark, starless night as Bree parted her lips. “Yes.”


Opening up her eyes, the rising sun screamed in through her window. The time glared at her with red, annoying letters. Bree let out a slow breath of air.

She placed the heels of her palms over her tired eyelids. Another dream -- a movie playing out in her subconscious when she drifted off to sleep; a dream so vivid it took a minute when she awoke to find out where she was. It took a minute to find out who she was with. Looking over at the lump beside her, she rubbed her disorientated eyes to adjust to reality. The person asleep next to her wasn’t who she dreamed about.

Disappointment drifted over her.

New York called out a noisy good morning to her as she threw the curtains the rest of the way open. A groan escaped from beneath the covers but Bree didn’t apologize. She couldn’t shake Nick’s face out of her head. The question of ‘why’ was resonating throughout her entire body. Bree figured a hot shower would wash Nick off and send the memories swirling down the drain…and out of her sleep. It had been ten years since she last saw him. She needed to leave the city for awhile. She needed to leave the person in her bed. Maybe, Bree thought, space would clear out her head and bury what was long gone.

Maybe.

Nick looked down at his watch – it had been thirteen minutes. Three minutes past the time he told her to meet him. Worries swirled in his head about her dad catching her sneaking out the window, about her having second thoughts…even about him having second thoughts. He wasn’t sure if he could do this. He watched the second hand begin to make another round when he heard foot steps approaching him. He got up from his waiting spot on the edge of the neighborhood dock and saw Bree coming towards him.

“Hi.” She greeted him softly.

He took one look at her and didn’t want to leave. Stupid singing group – who needed that? Not him. Not when joining the group made her look like this. It was only recently in the past year that he had began to look at his best friend differently – the way she began to fill out, how shiny her hair looked, how bright her eyes were when she laughed. She smelled nice, too. He didn’t use to notice that she smelled nice.

He took her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” She whispered into his ear. “It’s not going to be the same with you gone. I’ll be in high school next year and it’ll be weird not to see you in the halls. I’m going to miss your family, too..”

“You can still go visit my house,” Nick pulled back and told her. “You can still go visit my mom, you know she loves you. Plus, you’re going to have to keep an eye on my room and make sure my sisters or Aaron doesn’t take it over.”

Bree’s laugh made Nick smile. “You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” Bree said and Nick didn’t know if she was saying that to convince him or her self. Maybe both of them.

“Why does this feel like the end of the world?” Nick asked.

“It’s not. You’re fourteen years old and ready to take an amazing adventure…” Bree started.

“Without you, though.” Nick finished for her.

Nick watched Bree bite the bottom of her lip and then simply say to him, “You’re my best friend. You always will be. Nothing can change that. Not distance, not another country, not anyone.”

Nick could see though her rational words to a Bree who didn’t want someone else that she loved to leave her again. But she wouldn’t tell him that. Nick knew that she always put the people whom she loved interests in front of her own, when it called for their true happiness. Nick always loved music; it was his…nature. It came as natural to him as breathing; when he sang, he felt like he was all kinds of free. He was never one to sit still in school, although he had the potential to be bright. But if he could, every day, do the thing he loved the most and do it successfully, to make money? He couldn’t see it any other way. Leaving Bree behind was the only downfall – if not a huge reason not to follow through with this. He had just as much trouble leaving her as he did his own family. His dream and talent had always conflicted with what he pictured to be a “normal” kid’s life – playing out in the street until the gas lamps came on, getting in trouble for doing the stupid things that boys do, waiting all grade school to make it to high school with the big kids and then taking off to college. But that wasn’t going to happen now. He wasn’t going to be around anymore.

Nick didn’t want to cry in front of her, but it seemed as if he wasn’t going to be able to help that. To preserve his manhood and her image of him, Nick draped her arms around her waist and pulled her in close to him. Unable to see her face, Nick was able to let a couple of tears roll down his cheek before he found some way to wipe them off.

“Carter,” Bree spoke. “Are you – are you crying?”

She broke away from him and Nick found her studying his face.
“No,” He cleared his throat. “No, I am not crying.”

“Yes you are,” Bree began to break out into a smile and wiped away a stray tear with her thumb.“You are crying.”

“I’m not crying.” Nick stated. “Crying would include, you know, a lot of tears or, a, or sounds coming out like, you know, sobs or something, and sniffles, lots of sniffles, which clearly I am not doing and therefore not crying.” His stuttering defense was a weak one.

Nick saw Bree’s lips press together in an attempt not to giggle. “It’s okay if you’re crying because you’re going to miss me.”

“I’m not crying!” He repeated, a little bit louder. “Damn, Bree – would you just shut up and dance with me?”

“Dance with you?” She asked.

Nick took her back into his arms after he had placed her arms respectfully around his neck. There wasn’t any music, but he didn’t need any. If he would’ve thought this through and didn’t have to think of it on the spur of the moment, he would’ve brought a radio or something. He doubted the radio could’ve played the song he wanted to hear, anyway.

“Any requests?” He asked before they began to sway to the sound of Tampa Bay waves crashing against the sea wall. “Actually, forget that. I know what song I want to hear.”

“Fine,” Bree replied with a playful jut of her chin. “I bet you can’t guess what song I was going to say anyway.”

Nick cleared his throat again with much more emphasis, eliciting a laugh out of Bree. He licked his lips and felt completely relaxed. This was their moment, and only their moment, and before he had to walk her back home, it was going to make it worth his absence.

“Won’t you / Come see about me / I’ll be alone / Dancing and you know it baby.” Nick began to sing softly yet strongly and he felt Bree tighten against his body.

“You’re lucky you got it right,” She whispered to him. “Or else I would’ve been very insulted.”

“Think of the tender things that we were working on / Slow change may pull us apart / When that gets into your heart, baby / Don’t you forget about me.”

Nick pressed his forehead up against Bree’s, not giving a thought to the peaking Florida humidity. He couldn’t even feel the heat; he just cared about his friend. He continued to sing to her a song that he knew was her favorite – not only that, but it fit the moment and everything he couldn’t say with just words. When letters and words and speeches failed Nick, music never did.

They stayed out there until three in the morning, until Nick finally had to walk her home. Rain let loose from the sky on the way back to her house and he reluctantly picked up his pace as he guided her through the street with his hand. A simple goodbye was all he could muster with her; anything more and he knew it would ruin the night. As he let go of her out of his arms and watched her disappear back into the darkness of her house, Nick stood out the rain and stared up at her bedroom window. The light was still on – she must have forgotten to turn it off when she left. Although getting soaked to the core, Nick waited out in the street for the light to go out.

When it did, Nick took a deep breath, turned around and walked home. He couldn’t bring himself to look back.


I’ll put us back together at heart / Don’t you forget about me

“Yo.” AJ snapped his fingers in front of Nick’s face before finally resorting to flicking his earlobe.

Grabbing it in the response of pain, Nick rubbed his ear. “What?”

“Where were you just now?” AJ leaned back in his chair at their table and fiddled with his fork.
“No where.” Nick rubbed his nose and avoided AJ’s glare by picking up the restaurant’s menu and looking at it.
“Why are you looking at that?” AJ asked.
“For food.” Nick mumbled.
“Funny how we just ordered five minutes ago,” AJ flicked his hand in the air. “And then you went away.”

Nick didn’t respond. He crossed his ankles and laced his fingers behind his neck, stretching. The patio of café Rumba wasn’t that crowded for lunch, probably due to the cloudy weather today. Nashville reminded Nick a lot of L.A., except with a lot less smog and a little bit more class. He had grown into really like this city and the time they had spent here for their albums and finding songwriters. But he couldn’t enjoy much of anything lately and he couldn’t figure out why.

“You were thinking about her again, huh?” AJ said all of the sudden.

Nick was going to say no, but the look AJ shot him over his iced tea made him change his mind. He sighed, defeated. “Yeah.” Nick followed that answer with a shrug. “I just wish I knew why.”

“Who was she again?” AJ asked before whispering, “Damn, I am hungry…”
“Are you seriously going to listen to me, or just pretend?” Nick snapped.

AJ brought his attention back from searching for their waiter and nodded his head. He took off his sunglasses to show Nick his full listening potential – which impressed Nick. Letting down the gate of his bad mood a little bit, he started to ramble.

“I just keep having these dreams, and they’re either about times when we were kids, or she’s just placed in them randomly, without any meaning. And then I’ll see something on TV, or hear a song I haven’t heard in forever, or talk to someone, and I’ll end up thinking about her. When I was going out to L.A. to shoot for E! and I took some stuff out of storage, I found pictures of us I didn’t even know I still had. It’s like she’s everywhere.”

“That sounds like you’re talking about someone else that shall not be named.” AJ pursed his lips in a warning, shaking his head.

Nick responded with rolling his eyes. “Dude, shut up.”

“You’re the one with the tattoo.” AJ tapped his own wrist, referring to Nick’s inscription of “Old Habits Die Hard”.

“She’s not like that.” Nick replied with annoyance. “She’s not like anyone.”

“Wow.” AJ said with such genuine surprise he didn’t even look at his lunch when it was finally placed in front of him. He reached for the ketchup bottle without taking his eyes off of Nick and began to dump it onto his fries. “What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know.” Nick hung his head and didn’t even feel like beginning to touch his food.

“Is this the girl you keep a picture of in your wallet?” AJ inquired with a mouth full of hamburger.

“How did you know about that?” Nick inquired.

“Brian mentioned it one time. But he said you were real closed off about her.”

Nick nodded and pulled his it out. “Yeah. That’s her. Wanna see her?”

“Of course.” AJ gently took the picture out of Nick’s hands and held it closely to his face.

“That was ten years ago. I don’t know what she looks like now.”

“It doesn’t matter, she is gorgeous.”

“Don’t get any food on it.” Nick ordered.

AJ went to hand the picture back to Nick, but retracted and studied it more closely. “I’m not. I never heard you mentioned her – what’s her name again?”

“Bree.” Nick raised an eyebrow at AJ. “What are you looking so long at?”

“I don’t know, just something about her tells me she’s a really nice girl. I think it’s her eyes.”

Nick scrunched his forehead. “She was. She is.”

“So how come you never talked about her but we knew every gory detail of all your other ladies?” AJ inquired as he stuck a fry in his mouth.

“I’m not sure.”

“Interesting.” AJ observed.

“What?”

“I’ve just never encountered this with you before. You say she’s just a friend?”

Afraid AJ was going to break out into a rendition of Biz Markie, Nick spat out: “That’s what I say.”

“But you don’t know any more.” AJ ventured. “When was the last time you saw her?”

Nick reached across the table and claimed his picture back from AJ. Taking a moment to lay out the memory in his mind, Nick glanced back over at his friend. “You really want to know?”

AJ softened his expression. “I do.”

“Around ten years ago – we were on a small break and I came back home after about a year of being on the road. We had only been writing back and forth to one another and hadn’t done so in a couple of months, but she came to see me. Mandy had just broken up with me, again, or we had gotten to some big fight or something but – I wasn’t in the best mood and knew seeing Bree would cheer me up.”

“Right.”

“Not that way.”

“Did I say that?”

“No, but your mind is always half in the gutter, if not completely.”

“Nick, I’m thirty years old. Can’t you believe that I’ve grown up a little?”

Nick looked at AJ sideways for a second before smirking. “Whatever. Anyway, so she came to see me at my house.”

“Did you do it?”

Nick sighed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m joking. It was a joke.” AJ swallowed his food. “Go on. No more interruptions from the peanut gallery.”

Nick picked at the bun of his chicken sandwich. To sour his mood even more, ever since he had lost his forty or so pounds he couldn’t eat exactly what he wanted anymore. He had grown accustomed it and really liked the healthy new him, but in times like this, when his was down, he just wanted a freaking cheeseburger. Plus, he now had to complete the task of censoring the night so that AJ would in no way be picturing it in his head. He didn’t need the mind of AJ, or any of his band mates for that matter, turning his private thoughts over and over until they felt as if they had been there. It made him a little uneasy just thinking about what he was going to say next.

“Yeah, we did.”

AJ’s brown eyes expanded as he paused in surprise. “I said it was a joke.”

“She was going away to college and I didn’t know when I would see her again. I had this whole idea in my head that she was my soul mate or some crazy shit like that.”

“And you were wrong?”

“I was eighteen and I was really naïve…I felt that she had known me before I became rich and famous, so therefore she must love the real me. Not the Nick up on stage, not the Nick in the recording studio, not the Nick in the glossy stupid magazines, but me.”

“I understand exactly what you mean.” AJ nodded. “But how do you know that’s not true anyway? Regardless of your ideals of love back then?”

“I don’t know, anymore. I never got a chance to find out.”

“How come?”

“Because I never spoke to her after that.”

AJ smacked his own forehead. “Are you serious? Did you not see that girl in the picture? Did you not just confess how much you were in love with her?”

Nick straightened in his chair. “I didn’t say I was in love with her, AJ. I don’t know what I am…was…were…whatever. This is why I can’t tell you shit.”

“Why, because I’m smart?” AJ took the check presented to him from the waiter. “I’m not letting you pay for this. You’re too pathetic right now for me to let you pay for your own meal.”

Nick’s tension in his body dissipated a bit and he rubbed his face from exhaustion. He knew AJ was right – not about the being in love part, but definitely about being stupid. Despite the manner in which AJ went about it, Nick understood he was being the brother to him he always was. All the other guys were married off and starting families – AJ was the last one who could really relate to his problems. Nick felt a moment of gratitude for that and gave AJ a small smile.

“Thanks, man.” Nick said. “How can I get rid of all this so I can get on with my life here?”
“Well,” AJ began. “If you can’t stop thinking about something, maybe there’s a reason why.”
“You think I should call her or something?” Nick asked and anxiety was already making its way into his body.

“No, I think this calls for much more than a phone call. Where is she living now? You should go see her before we’re back in studio again and you won’t have any time.”

“Wait a second.” A flash of clarity came into Nick’s head. “I think she might be here, in Tennessee.”
“It’s fate.” AJ folded his hands across his chest, satisfied.
“That’s a crazy coincidence…” Nick replied as he pulled his Blackberry out his pocket. “I could be wrong though. I swear my mom sent me an email about it.”

Thumbing through what was mostly meaningless emails, Nick found the piece he was looking for. His mother had forwarded him an email from Bree’s mom about a week ago, giving the family updates and happening to mention that Bree was in town to see her. Nick couldn’t believe his mother who had been estranged from him before had this much intuition about his feelings lately. Nick tried to recall if he had asked about Bree in a recent phone call at all, trying to get some sort of current information about her to soothe his thoughts. Whatever the chain of events leading up to this opportunity, Nick didn’t care. He just now how to gather up some sort of bravery to go out and see her.

“Just don’t put too much on it, okay, buddy?” AJ said with concern. “I don’t know what you expect, but either way, it’s not going to go the way you planned. It never does.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go.” Nick sighed. “This is probably just a phase since – I’m over all this dating bullshit and I guess I’m just trying to loop back to people that meant a lot to me, trying to find the right one.”

“For the love of God, please don’t go back to everyone.” AJ pleaded. “Let’s just start with Bree and work our way up, skipping a lot along the way.”

Nick tapped his chin in thought, silently amused to AJ’s desperate plea. “Okay.”

“Okay!” AJ exclaimed and stood up from the table. “You go see her, and I will go back to the hotel and what I do best: sit on my ass and wait.”

“What do I say to her, though?” Nick asked as they made their way to the car. “‘Sorry I never talked to you again after I slept with you, but hey, how are things?’”.

AJ pulled out his keys and unlocked the black SUV. “Why did you never talk to her, anyway?”

“I was freaked out. That next morning, she said she wanted to be more than friends with me.” Nick confessed. “She wanted to try out a relationship, even though it would’ve been long distance. She laid it all out on the line for me – she told me the other guys she’d dated through high school she always compared to me and they never matched up.”

“That’s some heavy stuff.” AJ commented. “But she was a young girl, you know, maybe she just got caught up in the moment. Were you her first?”

“I don’t think so, no.” Nick went on. “But I just couldn’t see us working out without destroying our friendship. We parted on good terms with the understanding that everything would go back to normal. But I got back together with Mandy, we went back on tour, and she went away to college. I stopped trying to keep in touch with her. I just felt too bad. I felt like I had broken her heart, and I couldn’t face her.” Nick looked over from the passenger’s seat to AJ. “I’m a coward, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not.” AJ replied. “You’re going tonight. You’ll work it all out.”

Despite AJ's uncondtional yet sometimes twisted support, Nick still doubted himself. As they rolled along the highway back to their hotel, Nick tried to script a dialogue in his head. After five minutes or so, he realized it was totally pointless since he couldn't even fathom what Bree would say back to him. Would she turn him away? Would she yell and scream? Would she cry? Dear God, please don't let her cry. He might've become jaded over the time they spent apart and been through more than most people in a life time, but he knew he couldn't see her cry. He would have to take this on faith. A huge, giant, chasm-size leap of faith.

Nick felt an abrupt emotion that he labeled as anticipation as he floated along in his car down the two lane highway. The road had taken him out of Nashville into a comfy suburb, and finally stretched out parallel to sporadic fields dotted with houses along the way. Some were typical of a rural nature, while others stood out to him as homes of good money with a taste for the spacious living instead of a buzzing skyline penthouse. He had been along this highway before, along this same path, only a handful of times. Two years in a row when three summer months proved too long to be without the company of his best friend, and one final sweet Christmas where he had been tempted with the prospect of snow. Nick reflected back on that Christmas; it was had been hard for the both of them. Not only was it Bree’s first Christmas with her parents’ divorce finalized, but it would turn out to be their last holiday together. He found himself sighing at that random memory; it had crept up suddenly on him with just a trigger of familiar black concrete and white lines.

The sun was rapidly depriving him of light and he wondered if he would be able to find the gravel path he needed to turn off of. It’d been thirteen years since he’d been here and the memories wedged tightly between then and now clouded what was left of his life before fame. How would she receive him, just showing up at her mom’s doorstep? How would he explain the absence of his friendship from her life? He found the street sign and turned off, barely making it. He shook his head subconsciously, as if the nonsense would shake out.

“What the hell am I doing?” He whispered to himself. Gravel crunched under the truck’s tires as Nick slowed his speed down and felt as if he was being transported back into time. He was thirteen again and had everything he could possible want in those warm, humid months. But now what exactly did he want from this visit?

He immediately knew that question was going to have an awkward ring to it as he pulled up in front of his destination. He was one of about thirty cars there, and from glancing quickly at the house while trying to find an empty space on the grass, he could tell there was some sort of party taking place. Feeling his cheeks already burn a light crimson shade, he wished that he could literally kick himself. As he turned off the engine and stepped out of the car he borrowed from AJ, he stopped to once over the home that faced him. It didn’t have the same exterior appearance as he had remembered, but he knew it was the same house still. It was placed at the top of a hill with a backdrop of woods, but had no indication of that country cabin feel Nick thought was corny. It was warm and inviting and glowed like the safe haven he knew as a kid.

And it held her inside.

He swallowed hard. He could get back into the car and no one here would be the wiser. The house was swelling with guests, and he was curious at exactly what the occasion was. But he could slip out, unnoticed; just another face. He did know, though, that he was indeed not invited and this could turn out to be everything he feared it might be. Or he could stop the nagging, pulling need to see her. He weighed his choices and took a step forward. What the hell was he so nervous about?

There wasn’t a face inside recognizable to him. He could tell that some people were eyeing him in curiosity from their social stations on the couch, or at the mini-bar, or by the back door, but no one said anything to him. He was ready to see Bree’s mom, fourteen years older and maybe he would be able to express his feelings of happiness at seeing her after all this time. But he couldn’t find her in the room. He had been in the music business long enough to be able to spot the kind of people in that circle and there were a substantial amount of them here. No one he had any kind of business with, though. The only face he was searching for was Bree’s. He acted as if he knew where he was going as he crossed through one of the open French doors onto the patio. If eyes were glancing over him once more, he didn’t realize it. Looking over the pool and out onto the family’s private dock, a lone shadowy figure stood out to him. He quickly walked the large cobblestone porch, weaving in and out of small groups of chattering friends. The hum of conversation fell at his back as his footsteps creaked on the strong wooden dock. As he neared the end, his ears only heard the sound of lake water lapping gently at the pillars below him.

He waited a moment, watching her. It didn’t take someone to know her to pick up on the fact that she was deep in thought. Staring at the surface of the lake, it looked as if she was seriously contemplating the components that made up water. Nick almost felt guilty for taking her away from her thoughts, but he gently touched her arm. As she spun around slowly to meet him, her face lit up. Nick was surprised at how much he had remembered her face and the smile spreading across it. She was exactly how Nick had pictured that she would be now, time and time again.

“Nick?”

She stared at him, hard, and he felt like she was looking right down into the depths of his being. Her green eyes searched his rapidly; each second reassuring herself that it was him.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He found himself interlacing his fingertips with hers and flutters of excitement rose up inside him.

“Oh, my God,” She said breathlessly and threw her arms around him. “Where did you come from?”

Holding her tight, he couldn’t help but take in the scent of her. Unbelievably, it was still the same as he knew but had a different effect on him. Dazed for only a moment, he snapped back to now and leaned back slightly. “I’m in town and I heard it from your mother that you were here, too.”

The corner of her mouth turned up into a laugh; a laugh that originated from surprise
but delight as well. “My mom has a big mouth.” She said.

Nick felt his stomach drop a little, although he tried to ignore it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just shown up like that but I wanted to-”

“No, no.” She waved her hand to cut him off. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just…I’m so happy to see you. I’m shocked, that’s all.”

She dropped her grip from his neck and placed her hands on her hips.

“I mean I haven’t seen you in…”

“About ten years.” Nick finished for her.

“Yeah.” She looked at him again, searching for something that Nick couldn’t put his finger on it.

A moment hung between the two of them in the still summer air, awkward until finally Nick cracked a grin. “What are you staring at?” He playfully punched her shoulder.

“I can’t believe that it’s you. You look amazing. You’re so…handsome.” She touched her fingertips to her strawberry colored mouth in a habit that Nick remembered meant she was nervous.

“Well it is me. The same me as it’s always been.” Nick resolved and shoved his hands in his pockets. “How have you been?”

Nick watched as she turned around and walked the couple of paces to the very edge of the dock. She smoothed out the mini dress that matched her eyes and sat down, dangling bare feet above the water. “How have I been lately, or in the past ten years?” She looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to follow suit.

Nick sat next to her with a shrug. “We could start with lately and work our way back.”

She smirked at him. “I’m just visiting my mom for now. Then I’ll be going on back to New York, where I live.”

“New York?”

“Yes, New York.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Why does that surprise you?”

Nick cleared his throat. “I guess I never pictured you living anywhere but by the ocean. The last time I saw you, you weren’t going anywhere away from Florida.”

“I wasn’t going to.” She said. “I was going to start college and probably end up spending the rest of my life there. But I couldn’t. I wanted something more than that. Corny, right?”

He grinned at her. In the first lines of dialogue that had exchanged, it was like as if they had never been apart. A feeling of utter relief and a hint of giddiness challenged his ability to conceal his emotions. He prompted her with his silence to let her go on. She took his lead and Nick hung on every word as she summed up the years that he hadn’t been there for. He listened as she talked about moving to Nashville after high school and getting appearances in random country music videos through her mom’s connections. He felt a little proud of her when she mentioned holding down that career while going to the prestigious Belmont University. He laughed when she made fun of her seemingly glamorous Nashville life, although it was only for the duration of a Bachelor’s degree in Music Business. He listened with a bit of wonderment when she began to talk about the move to New York to pursue other desires. He pictured her as his charming, sweet, and semi-innocent partner in crime swallowed up in such a huge city.

“I always knew you would make it.” He recalled, referencing to New York.

“I haven’t ‘made it’ yet.” She laughed. Flinching slightly as she looked at him, she warned, “Don’t make fun of me.”

“For what?” He asked.

“I want to be a soap opera actress.”

Nick’s brow burrowed into thought. “Really…” Nick put up his large two hands in front of her as if he was framing a picture. “I think you might be too melo-dramatic, if I recall correctly.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile slightly. “You can laugh all you want.”

“Why don’t you go back to school? You were always the smart one. Get your master’s. Then you can really tell people what to do in this crazy-ass business.” Nick scooted closer to her.

He noticed that the space between them had lessened. He also noticed that she didn’t adjust her body to a more acceptable distance. So he kept his seat here, letting their sides barely touch; their hands positioned in the realm of possibility that they might find one another.

“Can we stop talking about me?” She ventured. “It’s boring.”


That’s the whole reason I’m here, Nick thought to himself, and almost out loud.


Nick knew that she always wanted something more than the run of the mill life surrounding her. She had never needed anyone but her self to make her dreams come true. He knew she had always been a sort of free spirit with her feet still firmly planted on the ground. He admired that quality in her and coveted it as his own. Knowing that only made him ache for the years that they had lost together; maybe she could’ve brought him down in the numerous times that he had needed a reminder of where he came from. Thoughts raced through his head and once again he could hardly believe she was sharing the same space as him.

“I want to hear about you,” She continued. “I got your pictures and your letters the first four years, but then after that last weekend in Tampa, you kind of disappeared off the map. But I guess I did, too.”

A pang of guilt hit Nick. How could he have been so careless with her? He glanced over and brushed a stray piece of her mahogany hair out of her face. He couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were slightly longing; for what, he wanted to venture an indulgent guess but didn’t dare.

“There’s so much to tell you.” He shook his head and laughed. “Although I could sum up most of it up. Recorded an album, yada yada, went on tour, blah blah, screaming girls, yada yada, another album, blah blah…”

Bree lightly jabbed in his arm and clicked her tongue. “Yeah, I’m sure it was all yada yadas and blah blahs and oh, ‘I’m just part of one of the most successful music acts ever’. Whatever, Carter.” She snickered and he grinned at hearing her say his name. “You know what I meant.”

“One day soon, we’re going to get together and I am going to show you pictures from every single tour I’ve been on. Every country, every state – you’ll get so sick of seeing my mug you’ll never want to see me again.”

Bree threw her head back and laughed to the sky. “Sounds…really good to me. A decade is a long time to miss.”

It grew quiet for a minute or two, and right before Nick was about to confess how much he had been thinking about her lately, Bree began to speak.

“Nick…” She began softly.
“Hmm?” He came back from his jumbled thoughts.
“I really missed you.” She picked up his hand and held it in her own.
“I missed you too,” He replied and looked down at their hands intertwined. “Listen, I’m really…”
“Don’t start.” She interrupted gently. “I don’t want to hear you apologize for something when you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Music had been coming out of the house from an unknown source the whole time, but now it seemed be louder somehow as if to fit a pre-determined moment. Nick watched Bree rise up with his hand still clasped in hers. She smiled at him with those perfect, perfect lips. “Dance?”

I’m standing there / On the balcony in summer air / I see the lights / See the parties / The ball gowns / I see you make your way through the crowd & say hello / Little did I know

Nick returned her suggestion and rose up to meet her. They began in the traditional way, with Nick’s hand resting politely on her side. They formally cupped the other’s hand like friends do; friends, from a spectator’s perspective, that appear to be sharing any other dance on any other night. Nick swallowed hard once more; something else was creeping up inside of him and resting in his throat. He brushed it off as fatigue – airplanes and hotels naturally made him exhausted. But he didn’t feel exhausted – he felt rejuvenated, as if he had taken a flying leap into an ice cold lake. He instinctively pulled Bree a little bit closer to him, closing the two inch wide gap between them.

That you were Romeo / You were throwing pebbles / And my daddy said ‘stay away from Juliet’/ And I was crying on the staircase begging you please don’t go

“You’re nervous.” Bree stated mattered of factly. Nick reeled internally at her being able to pick up on that and he tried to play it off.

“Yeah, of course I’m nervous.” Nick replied with forged confidence. “I’m dancing with the prettiest girl here.”

“Oh, nice line.” She laughed and Nick began to melt a little. “Am I the thousandth or ten thousandth girl you’ve used that on?”

“Probably thousandth.” Nick confessed and looked down at his shoes. “But this time I really mean it.”

And I said / Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone / I’ll be waiting / All there’s left to do
Is run / You be the Prince & I’ll be the Princess / It’s a love story, baby just say…

Bree’s teasing, guarded attitude came to an abrupt halt. Nick found the guts to look up from the cedar planked deck beneath their feet and into her eyes. They had grown a little wider; whether out of discomfort or out of something more positive, Nick couldn’t be sure. He pulled her towards his torso and enveloped her waist in his arms. He could feel her curves hiding underneath the smooth material of his dress and suddenly became a little hot under his collar. She returned his gesture by linking her hands around his neck – Nick prayed that she couldn’t tell he had grown extremely self conscious.

“This seems familiar.” Bree observed softly.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you / We keep quiet ‘cause we’d be dead if they knew/ So close your eyes / Escape this town for a little while

Nick didn’t pretend like he was unaware of what she was talking about. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.”

Bree looked him dead in the eyes. “What have you been thinking?”

“That I regret not being there for you.” Nick replied with complete shame.

“It’s not like I was trying my best, either.” Bree conceded.

“I know but I’m the one who stopped speaking to you. I wanted to tell you that I-” Nick tried to say before Bree cut him off once more.

But you were everything to me / I was begging you please don’t go

“We were just kids.” Bree said and Nick wondered how she meant that.

“It was more than that to me.” He lowered his voice.

He wanted to convey to her more than anything that she was unlike any other girl he had come across in his time apart from her. He tried to find something in his past experience that could convince her of this but he came up with nothing. Bree had always been that way with him – nothing like anything he had ever experienced in his life. Whether it be in a conversation they had sitting on her back porch, a day spent at the beach, or a song they would sing at the top of their lungs. As lame as it seemed as he considered this all in his head, she was unique to him. It had taken over a decade for that to be a solid truth in his hectic life. It was all being clear to him now.

“You were always in the back of my mind, you know.” Nick continued as they swayed along to a soft, unfamiliar tune.

“How so?” Bree inquired.

He looked over them and past the willow trees to the night sky and sought out the prominent North Star. Although a little hard to find this time of year, the rural skyline was stripped of glaring city lights which helped Nick in his search. The Big Dipper was a bit to his right, and he used the astrological metaphor on the tip of his tongue.

“Kind of like…the North star.”

“The North Star?”

“Yeah, you know…whenever you look up into the sky, you could always find your bearings by finding the North Star. No matter where you are, how lost you’ve become – the North Star will always bring you home.”

Looking back at Bree, Nick smiled a little. She rubbed the collar of his button down shirt softly, and Nick took that as a sign of hesitance. He didn’t need to hear a response from her, however, because it was the truth. It was how he felt. All he wanted her to know what that he hadn’t forgotten about her.

“That was really sweet.” Bree finally said. “I thought that – I guess – I never…”

Romeo save me / They’re trying to tell me how to feel / This love is difficult / But it’s real

Nick squeezed her tighter. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything back.”
“No, no, I want to.” Nick felt Bree take a breath. “You always had a way of saying exactly what I needed to hear, and meaning it. I could never trust anyone the way I trusted you.”

“You can still trust me.”

“I know.”

Nick was beginning to feel as if he had a couple of drinks; his inhibitions were slipping right out from under him and slinking out to the lakeshore. He didn’t know if he was high on the excitement of a new, unpredictable moment with a gorgeous girl – or if he was intoxicated simply with Bree. His head told him he was naïve; his heart told him the latter. Whatever war was raging on inside him, Nick didn’t feel in control of himself anymore. Holding her as close to him as he possibly could, his hand resting beneath her rib cage could feel her pulse pumping rapidly.

“How do you know I’m not the same girl as I used to be when we were kids?” Bree inquired.

“Aren’t you?” Nick countered.

Don’t be afraid / We’ll make it out of this mess / It’s a love story / baby just say ‘Yes’

Nick was so dangerously close to Bree’s mouth, he could feel her breath on his face. She looked up into his eyes and didn’t blink as she told him, “I feel that I am now. I feel like I did on the very last night that I saw you.”

“That was ten years ago.”

“I know. But a person…” Nick swore Bree was becoming as breathless as he was. “I didn’t realize how much I missed you. Lately…I’ve been thinking about you, dreaming about you – it’s driving be absolutely insane because I cannot figure out why.”

Nick had to hold himself back from devouring her mouth in a kiss right then and there. His hungry compulsion scared him half to death, but they kept swaying to a slow, rhythmic beat. If the music had stopped, he didn’t notice. If the whole world had stopped, he didn’t notice.

“I’ve been going through the same thing.” Nick managed to get out. “Why do you think that is?”

Bree looked around as if the answer was written on their surroundings. When she met his gaze again, she licked her lips and sincerely said, “Maybe because we’re at a point in our life when we need each other. No matter how long it’s been.”

I got tired of waiting / Wondering if you were ever coming around

Nick nodded. “What happened at my house that night – do you regret it?”

Bree didn’t skip a beat, “No.”

Nick’s heart tried to thump out of his chest. “I do.” He watched utter hurt pass over Bree’s face and corrected himself quickly, “I regret that I never saw you again.”

“You were having a fight with Amanda at the time, I understand. I was there, I was familiar, and you needed comfort. You were heartbroken. It’s okay.” Bree smiled but Nick knew better.

“No,” He broke free from her. “That’s not how it was. And I’ll prove it to you.”

“You’ll prove it to me?” Bree asked.

Nick reached into his back pocket and yanked out his wallet. Opening it up and digging into the bill fold, he pulled his crinkled picture. Unfolding it, he held out in front of Bree’s face.

“That’s us, from that night.” Bree whispered and took the picture from his hand.

My faith in you was fading / When I met you on the outskirts of town / And I said Romeo save me

Nick examined her expression as she stared at the photo in disbelief. “You carry this around with you?”

Nick nodded. “You were not the most popular with my girlfriends.”

“You’ve had this with you the whole time? Not just tonight when you knew you were going to see me?” Bree challenged him.

I’ve been feeling so alone / I keep waiting for you But you never come / Is this in my head / I don’t know what to think

“No, I promise.” Nick moved towards her and hooked one of his arms around her waist. “I told you, you were always in the back of my mind. And I think -- I’m done being away from you. I want to be in your life again. All this thinking, dreaming, I don’t know what it means. But I want to find out.”

Marry me Juliet / You’ll never have to be alone / I love you / And that’s all I really know

Bree opened her mouth to answer, but Nick prevented her from doing so. With his left arm holding her against his body, he cradled her neck with his free hand to pull her lips against his. He could feel her sink into his kiss as she cupped his face with both her hands. Suddenly, Bree broke away from him and covered her mouth. “Nick, I can’t.”

He stared at her for a minute, his lips still damp from her kiss. In her pools of green, he read something different from her than a desire of wanting to stop. He watched her take a breath, whether it be the courage to continue or the courage to walk way from him, Nick couldn’t tell.

He looked around them; they were far enough away from the house where no one could see them. Trees on the embankment lined the dock and encased them in branches of privacy. Only the stars and a couple clouds were peeking through, spying. Nick concluded that she couldn’t have been afraid of someone catching them. It was something she was feeling internally that was stopping her.

Nick’s chest began to feel heavy. He had made a huge mistake. Again. He had to turn around and leave now before he permanently damaged any relationship he had left with her. Wordlessly, he turned from her and took a step. Before he could take another one, his arm was grabbed and was spun around to meet Bree.

“Are you walking away from me?” She demanded. “Again? One more time, Nick? Why, because that’s easiest for you?”

Nick flinched at her words as her eyes flashed with anger.

“The last time I saw you, I just handed over my heart because I thought I was in love with you. But I never got the chance to find that out. Because you left. You had to go, yes, but you didn’t have to completely disappear from my life. How are you any different than my mother?”

Nick felt like he was going to be sick. He reached out for her shaking hand, but she stopped him.

“I got over you, and now you’re back.”

“Bree,” Nick demanded her silence, and when she was quiet, he asked meekly: “You’re over me?”

She crossed her arms and looked away for a minute. When she spoke again, her voice was even toned but tainted with her hurt.

“You just come back into my life without any warning whatsoever because you want to what? Try out your new feelings? Because you’re bored with your life? Because you don’t have a girlfriend right now? I'm your back up. Your Plan B, right? Your retirement plan from bachelor living?"

"You know that's not true, I-"

"So you take this little excursion out to my mom’s to fulfill some kind of selfish, fantasy driven quest?"

"Bree, I know why you're so pissed off but if you would just listen to me-"

"You’re just talking, Nick." She sniffled. Was she crying? "I want my friend back. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and you’re going to walk away from me just like that?”

Nick grabbed her wrist firmly this time, although she tried to pull away. She wasn't going to interuppt him anymore. He held up her against him and her stubborn attempt at distance faded slightly. He held both her shoulders and said with conviction, “Bree – shut up.”

Feelings Nick had no idea still existed rushed back into him all at once. She needed him. Tension stuck between the two of them like a brick wall. Nick reached out and touched her bottom lip with his thumb. Slowly, he shortened the distance between the two of them and met his mouth to hers. She gave him a stiff response at first before it turned into a hungry one. All the feelings Nick had no idea still existed came pouring out of him and into their kiss. His fingers dug into her back with a feeling of crazy longing, and she he was convinced she was answering him with the same.

As their kiss deepened and spun completely out of their control, Nick pushed her up against the trunk of one of the trees. Without any regard for the past or the future, Nick lifted her legs up to wrap around his waist and she didn’t reject him. He ran his hand up the outside of her thigh until he barely reached her hip, and then he stopped. He could feel her warm mouth pressing against his, egging him on. He wasn’t sure he could stop even if they both wanted to. She scraped her nails against the base of his neck with such a passion, he wanted to rip every single article of clothing she had on, off. He pressed his palm against the nape of her back, as if she could melt into him. He trailed kisses down her neck; she began to unbutton his shirt. She ran her lanky fingers down his exposed chest, sending goose bumps across his skin.

Crickets sang out in the night surrounding them; lightening bugs danced in the thick summer air. Nick felt like he was in the middle of a movie or a love song – a song he had always sang but never actually experienced. She was becoming his, kiss by passionate kiss. Or was she?

Nick cut off their kiss and pushed himself back by the Oak. The break of their mouths made a sloppy smacking sound as Bree asked him, “What’s wrong?”

She should already know the answer, and if she did not, then Nick was an even bigger asshole than he thought himself to be now.

Don’t go and be brave now, Carter. He thought to himself. Don’t be some hero in those stupid teen dramas.

He couldn’t keep playing her like this. Once years ago, now this? He wanted to go through with this; his eyes roamed her body and he ached in the worst way to feel her again. A decade ago was too long, too, too, damn long. He wanted her and even more, he didn’t want to think it through. But he had to – God damn it all to hell, he had to.

“We should think about this.” Nick fought himself to spit out.

“You just show up here,” Bree was out of breath. “Like you’ve been reading my mind lately, and you’ve got all these feelings to express and I’ve got all these feelings to actually deal with, in reality now, instead of by myself.”

Nick began to panic a little. “Do you want me to go? Is that it? Because I’ll go right now and we can act like this whole thing never happened.”

Bree’s face twisted into hurt. “I can’t do that; can you?”

Nick shook his head slowly. “No.”

“I don’t understand any of this.”

“Neither do I.” Nick agreed. “But I do know one thing – I don’t want to lose you again. I walked away from you, for real, in Florida. I hurt you. You can deny it, but I know I did.”

Nick didn’t see any argument rising up inside of Bree. “Yeah, you did.” She looked down at the grass and rested her back against the tree. “But you need to know something, and maybe – no, it will probably change your mind about me.”

Nick knew that she wasn’t perfect – he wasn’t that naïve. A sickening curiosity claimed him – the expression that spread over her face made him second guess wanting to know anything. Whatever it was, right now, he could care less. What could be that bad anyway? Unless she was sick and dying, God forbid, or moving to another country, or if she had decided that lesbianism was her sexuality of choice…

“I’m engaged.”

Oh.

Nick would’ve taken the lesbianism over that statement.

“You’re – you’re engaged?” He ran his hands through his thick hair. “And you were going to tell me this when?”

“I wasn’t going to.” She replied.

“Oh, that’s great.” Nick let out a frustrated breath of air. “Are you trying to get me back for what I did to you?”

“God, would you get over yourself?” She raised her voice slightly. “I made a mistake, okay? I’m obviously no where near perfect. I wasn’t going to tell you because I’m a little stuck in this position and I...”

“You’re stuck?” Nick looked at her incredulously. His blood pressure was rising, and he didn’t know if that was because he was still incredibly turned on or if he was angry. Probably a little of both, all mixed up and waiting to explode.

“My father wants me to marry him. I didn’t have anyone in my life that was serious for about seven years after I last saw you. So my father just wants be to me happy. My father loves him.”

“So you’re going to let your dad dictate how you’re going to spend the rest of you life?”

“No,” She shook her head. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. It’s more complicated than that. I came here to clear my head and it’s clear. I know what I don’t want now. And that's him.”

“Do you know what you do want?”

Nick tried to track her cloudy thoughts as they rolled past her eyes. “I don’t know. It’s a little hard to tell right now. Do you?”

Yes. “No.”

“I met him when I was interning for Belmont East. He's on one of ABC's soap operas."

“A soap actor.” Nick scoffed.

“Why yes, he is. Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Teen Beat?” She raised her eyebrow at him.

Nick rolled his eyes. “I just thought you would want a guy with more depth than that.”

“Um – I want to be one of those ‘depth-less’ actors.” She countered. “And you don’t even know him; you can’t judge him.”

“No, but I already know you. And now I want to know the every day you again.”

Nick propped himself up against the tree with one hand, the other one resting comfortably on her hip. He felt her straightened up against his touch. He dared himself to kiss her again.



“Why do you keep doing that?” She whispered, a breath caught in her throat.

“Do what?” Nick asked, keeping an eye on her mouth.

“I get my head straight, and then you get close to me.”

“And what happens then?”

“I forget what the hell I was doing.”



They stared at each other, a contest to see who would make the next move. Nick finally went first, brushing his nose with hers. “What did you see in this guy?”

“I don’t know anymore.” She whispered back as Nick felt her stroke his cheek with her index finger. It rested on his chin, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the same confused teenager he was inseparable with so long ago. That look on her face killed him every time. When her parents split up, when her mom never came back, when both parents remarried, and when he let her down. That was swelling up in eyes right now, and she didn’t have to say a word. He knew what she meant, no matter how shrouded in confusion and complications it was.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” She told him. “I just want you out of my head.”

Nick took a moment to himself to think this opportunity over. On the logical side, he didn’t know anything about Bree’s love life up until then. She could’ve been with a bunch of guys, sexual and not, and he wouldn’t have any idea. He could be just another guy caught in the moment with her and be disposed of in a couple of months.

No, that wasn’t her. He would bet that against anything.

She was careful to a fault. She was never the promiscuous type. Not after she saw how love could go down. Thinking back to AJ’s question about Nick being her first, he reconsidered his answer. Maybe he had been – but did that really matter? When you loved someone like they had loved each other as friends, was it so wrong that they had been together and she was convinced she wanted more? She had just told him that last time in Tampa that she thought she was in love with him. Nick backed up his train of thought when one phrase jumped out: thought she was.

Nick looked at her again, contemplating. She stared right back, prompting a thought or a word to come out of his mouth. He licked his lips and searched the non-logical side of things.

The non-logical side of things was that Bree was standing in front of him, right now. They had already gone farther than he imagined tonight. This wasn’t even in his realm of possibility when he decided to come and see her. Hell, he didn’t even know if it’s what he wanted. Nick thought about what would happen if he left her without exploring what he had been experiencing in his head lately. And hadn’t she been going through the same thing? It was too strange for Nick to ignore. He pictured a deck of cards before him, and the bright hand of fate dealing out a hand to him. He could pick this hand up and play it, or he could walk away from the table and be consumed with even more ‘what ifs’ for the time to come.



Nick had made up his mind. Nonsense had won.



“What did you just say?” Nick asked her, his voice hoarse.

“I said I just want you out of my head.” She repeated.

“I can take care of that.”


And just like they had never stopped, Nick snatched her up in his arms and melded his mouth with Bree’s. He heard a small sigh escape her lips, and he was a man long gone. He didn’t waste any time with seduction; that dance had already been done. He became dizzy with lust for her as she unbuckled his belt and followed with the buttons on his jeans. Nick cursed himself; of all the pairs of jeans he had to wear that day, the ones with buttons instead of a zipper made their hurried pace slow, but only for a minute. Nick took the impediment to gaze into her eyes, savoring this moment and whatever it was worth. He didn’t give a damn about meaning. That would be sorted out later.

He lifted one leg up around his waist and sped his hand up her thigh. Everything around him became fuzzy; he yanked off her panties underneath her dress and thrust himself into her. Nick felt her bury her mouth into his neck so as not to let out a sound; each motion he made into her made the crook of his neck sticky from her lip gloss. She moved her mouth up against her ear, and Nick shivered when he heard her rapid breathing. His paced quickened and they locked mouths again. She accidentally bit the inside of his lip, and although Nick tasted a little bit of his blood, he could care less. Their bodies began to dampen and he could feel her began to twitch from the same pleasure he was experiencing. Every movement between them was an attempt at trying to bleed out the misplaced desire for the other one. Their bodies were in sync and time seemed to completely dissipate all together. It was reckless, it was irresponsible, and it was playing with fire. Neither Nick nor the woman he was holding gave a thought to those circumstances; Nick felt an intense warm tingle travel up his spine and she finally let loose a groan of pleasure. In a sweaty blur they collapsed onto the dewy grass.

Nick’s heavy breathing match the thudding of her heart he could feel against his breast bone. He smoothed out her hair as she looked up at him and gave a sweet smile. He reflected it as he gently rolled off of her but kept his palm against her stomach. She looked over at him, still trying to catch her breath. Nick’s mind was racing; did that really just happen? Something was coming over him, but he couldn’t find a name for it inside his mind. His eyes wandered over her and their environment that was finally coming back into focus.

She put her hand to her forehead and sat up slowly. Leaning back on his palms, Nick couldn’t help but lean over and attempt to place a soft, gentle kiss on her cheek. She turned her head at the moment Nick’s lips would’ve made contact, and they both froze. Looking at one another, dead in the eye, it was like the harsh light of morning.

“Did we just mess everything up?” She asked earnestly.

“I don’t know.” Nick replied. “I don’t know at all.”

“How do we do this now?”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I know that I don’t want to let you walk away again.”

As Nick went to respond, Bree’s name was being called out from the hedges behind them. Scurrying to stand up, Bree was the first one to come face to face with the smiling face of her mother. Trying to shield him and their predicament from her mom, Nick smirked as Bree stood in front of him as he struggled with the buttons of his pants.
“Hey, mom.” She smiled brightly. “What’s up?”

Nick recalled that Bree never was a good liar, which was strange considering that she wanted to be an actress. Pretending was always different to her than lying; especially when it came to people she loved. It was just another quality that Nick checked off on his list of why he cared about her so much. But he also recalled how quickly she thought when it came to a situation which begged for a sly retreat. When the two of them used to put their heads together for some sort of adventure or plan, everyone would brace themselves. And now here they were, years later, needing desperately to rev that ability back up. It was horrible enough what had just happened without them figuring out the implications of it all, but to bring an outsider in would be hell. Trusting Bree, Nick tried to smooth out any indication of what had just gone down in his appearance when he caught her mom, Lynn, sneaking a peek at him. “Is that Nick?”

Nick reacted by opening his arms for a hug and giving a cheesy smile. “It’s meee!”

As Nick took Lynn into an embrace, over her shoulder he witnessed Bree trying to stifle amusement and shaking her head. He shot her a helpless look, rusty at the ‘who me?’ act he used to be so damn good at.

“Where on earth did you come from? Is your mom here? What about your sister, Angel? She’s gotten to be the prettiest thing on the earth. Next to Bree, of course.” Lynn reached out and patted her daughter’s cheek with pride.

“Nope, the family is scattered all over the place.” Nick nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I’ve been saddened to hear about all the things that have happened with your family,” Bree’s mom began and Bree stepped in to interject.

“Mom, let’s not bring that up tonight.”

Nick felt Bree take a hold of his hand firmly. They needed to escape this situation. They needed to turn back the past – what had it been? Minutes? An hour? Nick had no idea. But he did know they needed to sort out the blurry mess and try to find solid ground to stand on. They couldn’t do this here, not anymore. Images popped into his head of a sit down catching up conversation with Lynn, tonight, because he knew that she never did like to wait. Nick had always looked at her as a second mom, until she left Bree, and then he had his reservations. He was happy for Bree when her and her mom reconciled their estrangement, but he still couldn’t help but half question her character sometime. He failed to see that type of resemblance in Bree. She had fought the scary statistics of inevitable genetics and won. He caught himself smiling at the thought of her while Bree talked their way out of staying the rest of the night.

“Nick and I have a lot of catching up to do, Mom – I think I’m going to head on over to his hotel and hang out with him awhile.”

“Okay, but it’s getting late. I don’t want you driving all the way back here yourself.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” Nick spoke up. “I can drive her. And if it gets too late, I have a pull out couch I can sleep on in my room and she can take my bed.”

Nick noticed Bree out of the corner of his eye take a second to digest that suggestion. Nick didn’t even know what he was saying until it had tumbled out of his mouth. The prospect of spending the night in the same room as her seared his insides with anticipation. Could he seriously handle that?

“Okay.” Lynn smiled. “Just send me a text or something when you get there, so I know you made it okay.”

“Alright.” Bree smiled at her mom, and Nick saw that she was satisfied with the results.

Her mom said her short goodbyes and after Nick promised to stop by for lunch soon, they both remained silent until they were sure Lynn was completely out of ear shot. Nick turned to Bree and took both hands into his, letting out a short breath of air.

“Let’s just get out of here and away from that…tree.” Nick pointedly glanced at the Oak, and what had just happened under its strong branches flashed back to him. “I think it’s got some sort of magical power or something.”

Bree lit up with laughter as she shook her head at him. “You’re funny. Come on.”

“What?” Nick asked, feeding off of her smile. “I’m serious.”

Nick examined the changing of moods coming over her face – they had taken a small fragment of time to pretend like they hadn’t altered their future as friends. Nick felt her place her palm on his cheek and trace his cupid’s bow with her thumb. She looked up into his eyes and smiled at him reassuringly.

“We’ll figure this out, Carter.” She said to him softly. “We always do.”

Nick fought the urge for the tenth time to take her and kiss her. He had to take that and put it behind it now. He had, in an extreme moment of impulsiveness, taken what he wanted and purged that wanting. He couldn’t be greedy anymore.

He did find it odd and strangely comforting that, after what had just occurred, there wasn’t any tangible tension between them. As much as Nick hated to admit it to himself, and he would never say this aloud, but it was as if making love to her was completely natural, not some spur of the moment regret. He changed his mind about keeping it to himself – he expected later on to bounce it off of AJ to see what he thought. But for now, half an hour in a car with Bree and the stretch of road was the only thing on his mind. They linked elbows together and began the trek to his car, dodging any sign of life that would distract them from their mission. Was what the mission? Nick wasn’t sure. But he did know he had a dull aching need to spend more time with her. She would be back in New York soon, and what he did absolutely know was that he wanted a pact between the two of them to be set in stone. He was not; he repeated internally, was not going to let her slip away from him again.


When they arrived at Nick’s car, it was noticeable that some of the other vehicles had departed, leaving an easier exit route for them. The minute that they climbed in, Nick looked over and saw a pink blush begin to spread out over the apples of Bree’s cheeks.

“Uh, oh.” She turned to Nick and flinched.

“What is it?” He asked with concern.

“I forgot something.” She bit her lip.

“What did you forget?”

“My underwear.”

Nick paused for a second before bursting out into a fit of laughter. She gasped and reached out and smacked his arm. Although her palm had stung, he still couldn’t stop his giggles.

“It’s not funny, Nick!” She protested, albeit with a smile. “What if someone finds them?”

“What, do you write your name on them or something?” Nick asked in between breaths of laughter.

“No,” She dragged out her ‘o’ with distress. “But Mom knows that we were over there and she may be a little crazy but she’s not stupid.”

“A little?” Nick was able to contain himself, finally, and could see a grin starting to come out of the girl in the passenger seat.

“Shut up. Just hold on, okay?” She said. As she went to open the car door, she glanced back over her shoulder. “How can you be so happy about this right now?”

Nick took a moment to think, and then said,

“I guess I just can’t picture it happening with anybody else but you. This is very typical of us, you have to admit.”

“I’ll never admit anything that pertains to you being right, Carter.” She replied with conviction and then exited the car.

Nick sat, without the radio on, and watched through his windshield her return back to the path they had taken. Even in the dark, he swore that she had looked back, only for a second, and flashed him a knowing smile.





Bree took her time to carefully weed her way though her mom’s flower garden that lined the stone path. If someone heard her, or saw her, well, that’d be the end of that. She tried to think of some excuse quickly, but when she reached the dock again, she found it void of anyone. Squinting in the dark, she only had the dim light from the dock house to aide her. It had happened extremely fast, but she had a pretty good idea of where she lost her item. Her heart automatically began to race as she touched the bark of the Oak with her fingertips. She closed her eyes and relived the feeling of Nick’s skin on hers – after tonight, it wasn’t going to happen again.

She hunched over and started to search around the bumpy roots of the tree, knowing that they would be hard to miss. She tried to remember if maybe Nick had stuffed them in his pocket, but that’d be too weird. She circled the tree once, then twice, and finally let out a sigh of frustration.

“Where the hell did they go?” She wondered into the night air. This did solve her problem, because if they weren’t there, then her mom wouldn’t find them. That would be a never ending inquisition and Bree could already hear the questions resounding in her mind:

What were you thinking? How did it happen? What does it mean? What about your fiancée?

And if she did not need anything right now, it was her mom into her personal life. At twenty-seven, the suffocating fear of becoming more and more like her mother with every birthday made Bree want to keep her problems to herself desperately. Her mother could always get into her head, twist things around, and in the end, completely screw up whatever Bree was dealing with. Times flooded back to Bree of when her mom would butt into her relationships and even take it upon herself to fix them. It started when her mom went away. Bree always concluded that the overcompensation her mom exhibited was to make up for leaving her when she was so young. But it still didn’t stop her from invading when she was not welcome. When she was younger, parents of the friends Bree would have a juvenile fight with would be called. Sometimes, even worse, her mom would confront the actual friend. Whatever the problem was, her mother wanted to fix it for Bree. Her father would get a phone call, and yelling and misery would ensue. Bree finally resorted to cease confiding in her mom via phone or any other way, and just kept it an arm’s length relationship, wondering the whole time if she would ever do this to her future children.

Bree would not take the chance of her mom prying her way into this situation with Nick. No, as silly as it was, the most intimate piece of laundry Bree owned could not be found. This was too close for comfort to her mom's garden that was tended daily. A pair of Victoria’s Secret underwear could destroy her entire friendship with Nick. It was sad, so very, very sad – but true.


“Looking for these?”

Bree’s bubbles of thoughts were burst as she looked up from the ground. In horror, she saw her step-brother Josh holding her thong with his thumb and index finger, out away from him. He had come out of nowhere, but he was here none the less. She moved to snatch the pink panties away from him, but he jerked them back and shook his finger at her.

“Oh, no,” He grinned maliciously. “This is too good to let you have them.”

“Shut up, Josh.” Bree snapped. “Just because you haven’t seen any of them in awhile doesn’t mean you have to keep mine. They’re your step-sister’s, too, you freak.”

“I know, that’s why I’m so weirded out at the fact that I am revolted by them, but yet, I can’t let them go.” Josh produced a pack of Marlboros from his pocket and took a fresh cigarette out with his teeth. He offered the pack to Bree, who stood with her arms crossed. She kept her eye on his hand that managed to still contain what she came for.

“No, thank you.” She said through her teeth and attempted to grab her underwear back when he lit his cig. “Damn it, Josh, don’t be an ass.”

Josh inhaled and then let the smoke loose through his nose. He stood there, smug and arrogant, and Bree hated him for it. She didn’t usually feel this way towards her step-brother. Most of the time she found the banter and the play fighting entertaining – when she was an only child, she had always wanted an older brother. But right now she wished he would just go away - without what was hers.

“Don’t you love August?” He asked as he took another puff. “It’s the end of summer, with the bittersweetness of it all.”

“Extremely touching. Give me my damn underwear back.”

“Do you know what I think is really touching?” Josh wrapped the arm that held Bree’s thong around her shoulder. She followed his hand with her eyes, wondering if he was going to actually let her take them back.

“The fact that my mom lets you stay here for free even though you are a useless slacker?” Bree said with bright sarcasm.

“Ouch, sis, that hurt.” Josh feigned a knifed through his heart. “No. I think it’s touching that you and Nicky are back together. After what that douche did to you in Tampa, though, it's really nice you want to give him a second chance."

He retracted his arm back and tossed Bree her thong. She caught it gratefully, but eyed Josh with suspicion. “Why did you just do that? That was so easy. Too easy. What do you want?”

“I don’t want anything from you. I want him to promise me that he’s not going to mess with your head again.” Josh bent down to put his cigarette out and then looked at Bree with his steely green eyes. “I will kill him, you know.”

Bree let out a smile and loosened her body language. “We’re not together. We’re just friends.”

“Friends lose their underwear when in the presence of another friend?” Josh rubbed his stubbly chin.

“What happened is none of your business.”

“You’ve been my step sister for about sixteen years, so doesn’t that make you my real sister by common law or something like that?”

Bree couldn’t help but smile. “Something like that.”

“Then I want to look out for you.” Josh draped his arm over her shoulder once more. “Listen, I know you’re not happy with the dude you got back at home. What’s his name? Mark or something?”

Bree rolled her eyes. “You know his name, doofus.”

“Mark. Like Marky-Mark, another idiot.” Josh rubbed the stubble that was forming on his cheek as well. “Anyway. I can see why when Nick came back into town today, you would throw yourself at him to…”

“Excuse me?” Bree interrupted in offense. “I did not throw myself at anyone, nor have I ever.”

Josh grinned at getting a rise out of her. “You know what I meant.”

“No, please clarify.” Bree leaned back into Josh’s arm and waited impatiently, knowing Nick was sitting alone in his car.

“I may be a ‘useless slacker’, but I do know that even though we may not have lived together as a family, you had it bad for your friend Nick way back in the day. And now he shows up here, and I don’t know if I trust his intentions. What if he’s just at an impasse in his life and he wants to use you to find some sort of answer he’s looking for? I don’t want him taking advantage of the love you have for him and then leaving you behind again once he’s done with you.” Josh punctuated his speech with the affectionate tapping of Bree’s nose. “Like I said, I’ll kill ‘em.”

Bree looked at her brother in name only with sheer appreciation. “Thank you. I really do love you for saying that. But I can take care of this. I’m going to go back to New York and break it off with Mark. And then I’ll have to move on, with Nick as only my friend. I missed him. And he missed me. Now there’s no reason why we can’t be as close as we were before, no matter how many states are between us.”

“Are you sure?” Josh looked at her with question, and Bree began to grow anxious at considering that he was more than likely right. “You don’t have any feelings like that towards him anymore?”

“No.” Bree answered, a little too quickly. “Any feelings I had left for him were just disposed of, over at that tree.”

“Oh, Jesus!” Josh exclaimed and threw his arms up in the air. “I didn’t ask for the details, alright?”

Bree began to laugh as she watched him squirm into a dramatic presentation of disgust. She looked down at her palm, slightly mortified that she still clutching her undies. “Like I’ve never walked in on you before.”

“Oh, but that’s different.” Josh stood up and covered his eyes with his hands. “I’m your brother; you’re my sister!”

Bree snickered and patted his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

“No it won’t, I can see part of that tree from my bedroom.” Josh balled up his fist and lightly punched Bree in the stomach. She mocked pain and then did the same to his jaw. They both dropped their sibling antics and hugged one another. After a second or two, Josh said, “Bree?”

“Yeah?” Her voice was muffled in his shoulder.

“Get your panties off my shirt.”

“Sorry.” She released herself from his grasp and tucked them behind her back with one hand. “I should probably go now.”

“Do I need to come talk to him?” Josh pursed his lips in thought.

“No, I’ll be okay.” Bree smiled. “Thank you, though. Really. If I need some emotional support, I’ll let you know.”

“You let me know if you need some physical support.” Josh curled up his left arm, flexing his bicep and pointing it. “Right there, sis. Right there is all the support you’ll need.”

Shaking her head, Bree gave him another quick hug. “Love ya, weirdo. Thank you for not ratting me out to Mom. You know she would never leave me alone.”

As Bree left him standing behind in the yard, Josh called after her: “And put some panties on, will ya?!?”

Fighting the urge to run back and slaughter him, Bree could only chuckle to herself. When she had reached the half way point between the car and Josh, she slipped the now notorious pair of underwear back on and hauled herself to Nick.

“Interesting time?” Nick inquired once she had her seatbelt on.

“Josh had ‘em.” Bree stated casually as the engine roared onto the gravel road.

“Typical.” Was Nick’s only reply as he pulled out onto the two-laned road back to the hotel.