Feel Good Lost by FemmeFatale
Summary: A complicated love story like no other. Nick and Audrey have been friends for years. He cares for her deeply, she cares for him deeply. But Nick wants more than that ever since they met. So what's stopping him? There's just this tiny little thing that's in the way. Will he get what he truly wants or is it too impossible?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: AJ, Nick, Other
Genres: Dramedy
Warnings: Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Completed: No Word count: 8831 Read: 6769 Published: 11/02/08 Updated: 01/22/10
Story Notes:
I'm being brave and finally posting a story that I have been writing for months. This is also the first time ever I'm sharing my writing with everybody so don't be too harsh on me :)

1. Chapter 1: Superconnected by FemmeFatale

2. Chapter 2: Fire Eye'd Boy by FemmeFatale

3. Chapter 3: Cause = Time by FemmeFatale

4. Chapter 4: Love and Mathematics by FemmeFatale

5. Chapter 5: Major Label Debut by FemmeFatale

6. Chapter 6: Blues for Uncle Gibb by FemmeFatale

7. Chapter 7: Da Da Dada by FemmeFatale

Chapter 1: Superconnected by FemmeFatale
CHAPTER ONE: Superconnected

It was just one of those days at the office that wouldn't end. Usually it's busy around here but it's the Easter vacation and everyone has dropped off like flies. To their families in North Carolina, retreat to their beach house in the Hamptons or a road trip with friends to Vancouver. Not me, though. I may be the CEO of an ad agency and take off whenever I want to but I'm stuck with a work overload. Trying to decide which photo looked better of Kelly Clarkson for the new Candies shoe collection was becoming a bore so it was enough for me to set it aside for a while. Tapping my foot on the floor absentmindedly, my eyes roamed around the room and stared at the clock that my aunt bought for my birthday. The wooden rim rooster imprints weren't fashionable anymore. It never occurred to me until now why it's still in my office. Would she not love me anymore? Before I could grab my Blackberry to put a reminder for a replacement, the phone rang. Glancing at the ID, a small smile appeared on my face and answered the phone.

"Audrey Livingston."

"Yeah hi, ahem," A deep voice said on the other line. "My name is Jake President, the.... president of Nestle Goobers Inc. How are you Ms. Livingston?"

"I'm doing well, sir. Always good to hear from the Goober Industry. What can I do for you?"

"We just invented a new product here at the Goobers Inc and we would like it if you could do a marketing campaign."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I hear your agency is one of the best advertising agencies in the Los Angeles area."

"Sir, I don't know where you heard that from but it's clearly wrong. We are the best advertising agency in the Los Angeles area."

"A little modest aren't we, Ms. Livingston?" The man chuckled on the other line.

"Just today. Mr.... President," I shook my head laughing knowing that was delibrate. "Tell me about this new product that you've invented."

"Well, it's the usual Goobers, with the peanuts covered in chocolate. But there's a twist."

"Ohh, do tell."

"They're dipped in beer batter and deep fried. They're called Crispy Crunchy Goobers."

"Uh, sounds like a delicious product you have there. You can get constipated and have a heart attack at the same time."

"I think that may be the slogan I'm looking for," The man approved. "I can see it now, 'It will bring you constipation and possible heart attacks!'"

"That will be a hit on the market for sure. But I don't want to join Middle America with those promises."

"Hey, don't knock it till' you tried it." The man's original voice appeared.

Laughing out loud, I couldn't take it anymore, "Were you that bored today, Nick? Deep fried Goobers, really?"

"There was nothing else to do!" Nick laughed defensively. "It tasted pretty good."

"Eww, I'm sure," I grimaced. "And do you even know how to make beer batter?"

"Yeah, beer and flour. I've seen you do it thousands of times."

"Hmm, it's not quite there. There's a little more to it than that."

"Really? Aww, but you should see the kitchen. Flour everywhere and empty beer bottles... more than it should be because I drank some."

"Nick! What did I tell you about drinking in the middle of the day?"

"That beer goggles are meant for only the night."

"That's right," I laughed, "Anyway, what's up?"

"Nothing much. I made my new invention, thought I'd bother you at work and tell ya about it."

"I'm glad that you're being productive now that you're home. Also, I'm really glad that you called, I'm bored out of my mind."

"No meetings? No nothing?"

"Nothing. Everyone here took for early for Easter so it's been a slow day. It's okay but I've been staring at that damn clock again."

"Still think if you stare at it long enough, a rooster will come out?"

"You never know. I swear I hear it going, 'I'm coming out to get you, lady. bak-kaaaak!'"

I pictured him shaking his head as he laughed, "That brain of yours keeps me on my toes."

"That's why you love me, bub."

"You know it," Nick rasped before bursting into laughter then cleared his throat. "You got any plans tonight?"

"Let's see, sitting in front of the TV and eating mac and cheese. You?"

"Coming over to join you."

"You just got back into town, I thought you'd go out bar hopping with your boys?"

"Yeah but I want to see my favorite girl in the world."

"That's sweet...." I paused for a moment and raised an eyebrow. "You feel sorry for me don't you?"

"No, of course not. I was just thinking that you might need some company that's all," He sighed. "Plus I haven't seen you since I've been on tour and I missed you a whole lot."

I cracked a small smile, "I missed you a whole lot too. Okay well, be over at seven?"

"Alright, I'll see you then. Don't over work that head of yours too hard." Nick joked.

"Don't bet on it. Bye Nicky."

"Bye Aude."
Chapter 2: Fire Eye'd Boy by FemmeFatale
Author's Note: Thank you to my first reviewers, brandy_d and nicksohiogirl!

CHAPTER TWO: Fire Eye'd Boy

Seven on the dot, Nick arrived as I was making the difficult task of making mac and cheese. Nothing can beat the good ole' microwave way. We sat in the living room floor exchanging stories and ate dinner. Call us crazy kids but that was always our routine when we hung out together. Tour life can be a little hectic so it's nice when he comes home, he can relax with me, boringly. He'd just returned from his tour and I hadn't talked to him properly for the past couple of weeks. Missed calls on our cell phones, text messages at 3am, running to the phone only missing it then calling them back and they're not picking up. Talk about bad timing. Now we won't have to deal with phone tag for a while. It was getting to 11pm but I knew he was leaving the interesting stories for last.

"Hook up with anyone while you were away?" I asked, sprawled across the couch.

Nick grinned across from me on the other couch as he answered, "In Mexico. This really hot girl had been eyeing me as soon as I walked in the club. I didn't see her until an hour later when she finally came over and started talking to me. It was weird, she went on about her feet hurt because of the shoes she was wearing and get this, how her dog can't stop shitting on her kitchen floor."

"Lovely," My face scrunched up. "The dog pooping got you hot?"

Nick grabbed a small pillow next to him chucking it towards me, I ducked just missing me, "No. I don't think I gave a shit because we were both pretty drunk by then. I just said, 'Ehh okay.'"

"Was she hot?"

"Oh yeah." Nick nodded.

"Did you-"

"Oh yeah." Nick interrupted and nodded again.

"Oooh you stud."

"It wasn't as good as you're making it out to be. She dug her fingernails into my arms." Nick's eyebrows furrowed at the thought.

"I thought you liked that."

"Not when blood is coming out of it."

"She might've been a vampire by night and wanted to suck your blood."

"From my arm?"

"The only vampire that has a fetish for arms."

"You need to stop watching those classic horror movies late at night."

"Hell no. It's not like I have better things to do, and they put me to sleep. I gave up on sleeping pills a while ago."

"Good. You took those things like Pez candy."

"Exaggeration." I mumbled.

"So, what about you, hook up with anyone while I was gone?"

I grabbed the pillow that landed on the floor, throwing it back hitting his face, "Shut up. That's an unnecessary question."

"I'm just playing around," Nick laughed then turned serious. "So you two are okay?"

"Yeah I guess," I shrugged. "It's finally getting to me that Casey has been gone for so long that we're both going crazy at each other. I can't believe we got in a fight over what color to paint the guest bedroom in. 'I want taupe', 'No I thought we agreed on tangerine', 'Well now I want taupe'. It's so ridiculous."

"Whenever you tell me stories about you two fighting, it sounds like an old married couple. Arguing about groceries and whose turn it is to take out the garbage."

I chuckled, "It does get like that sometimes."

"Have you talked since?"

"Not really. We've both been busy with work. It's understandable." I sighed.

"Don't worry, you guys will work it out, " Nick stood up, sitting beside me and gently taking my hand kissed it lightly, "And it's just another business trip but it's a little more this time."

"I know, I know."

"I'm away more than Casey and you're fine with it, right?"

"But that's different. I'm not fucking you."

"We can. Just say the word and I'll rip that skirt open."

I looked down, and looked back up at Nick, "I'm not wearing a skirt."

"When the situation arises, you will be wearing a skirt."

"Should I be worried that you've been thinking about that?"

"I'm just saying, be prepared."

"Keep dreaming, sweetie. It ain't going to happen." I cackled.

"I won't stop trying," Nick grinned and lightly kissed my lips. "I know you want it bad as much I do."

"Your words are just enticing me more and more," I rolled my eyes. "The reason we tell each other these things is because you gotta keep the eight years of friendship spicy."

"That's true," Nick quipped. "I can't believe we've been friends for that long. It seems longer than that."

"I know. I was 18 and you were 20, now we're in our late 20s and in a few years time we'll be 30," Pausing for a moment, a disappointed look took over my face. "Oh my god, that is so sad."

"The day it happens, we'll be wretched and old....."

"And be in wheelchairs and have arthritis."

"I kinda have that now anyway. I can't click on the mouse for too long otherwise my hand hurts." Nick replied as he massaged his hand.

"If you stop clicking on those porn sites you have bookmarked in Firefox, you wouldn't have such a problem." I burst into laughter while Nick just sat there pouting and turned red.

"I hit a nerve didn't I?"

"That's not the reason." Nick blushed.

I gave him a wink and changed the subject, "Fuck being 30 years old. I want to be forever young." I said spreading my arms out.

"Forever young lasts until you break a finger by something stupid like slamming it really hard against a table."

"Urgh, you're right."

"If it makes you feel any better, no matter how deteriorated you get, and I mean that in the nicest way...."

"Of course."

"I'll always remember the way you looked on the day that I met you."

"Aww that's sweet," I grazed my hand against his cheek. "Same goes for you."

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Nick then moved his hand down resting it on my ass. "Still don't want to have sex with me?"

"Oh geez," Shaking my head as I laughed and playfully slapped Nick's hand taking it off me. "Let's watch Brick instead."

"Again?" Nick groaned. "That movie's weird. They talk like they're in the '30s but they're in present day high school. No one talks like that in real life."

"That's the point, sweetie. It's called film noir like the movies back in the '30s. C'mon, it's not that bad."

Nick pouted still not convinced, desperately wanting to get out of watching the movie.

"Fine, I'll cuddle you."

"Yes!" Nick happily exclaimed sitting up.

Grabbing the remote, I pressed on for the TV and played on the DVD player, resting my head on Nick's chest as he wrapped his arm around me tightly. He smiled and kissed the top of my head lightly, lingering there for a moment to smell my scent and we both began to watch the movie.

Nick stirred his eyes open and tried to focus his gaze on the TV, which was rolling the credits. He looked down and saw that I had fallen sound asleep as well with my arms tightly wrapped around his waist. Carefully, he stood up carrying me into his arms as we headed upstairs to my room. He lifted up the sheets as he laid me down on my bed and putting the sheets around my arms. Nick smiled down and kissed my forehead lightly and whispered, "Night Aude." He quietly walked towards the door before heading out of the bedroom.
Chapter 3: Cause = Time by FemmeFatale

As Nick opened the front door to leave Audrey's house, a taxi drove in front of the house with a figure quickly stepping out and retrieving their bags from the trunk. Nick took a sigh of relief knowing Audrey would be very happy of whom it was.

"Nick!" The person asked as they walked into the driveway pulling their luggage behind them.

"Casey, hey!" Nick gave Casey a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I managed to get out of my meetings," Casey answered as they pulled away. "It wasn't easy but they obliged."

"That's good. How was your trip?"

"Fucking stressing," Casey grumbled. "By the way, do you know what Venezuela is like?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful. Didn't you like it?"

"I wouldn't know because I hardly saw it from the conference room."

"That sucks. There's always next time, right?"

"Yeah," Casey nodded. "Where's my girl?"

"Asleep. I just put her to bed."

"Ah okay."

"I'm glad you're here. She's kinda been moping around these last few days."

"Well we exactly didn't end the conversation nicely over the phone."

"Yeah, I heard."

"I know you're keeping her good company so thank you for that."

"That's what I'm here for," Nick smiled. "But you owe me big time."

"What for?"

Nick took a deep breath, "I've got knives in my eyes, I'm going home sick."

Casey laughed out loud, "Brick, again? Sorry to hear that. I swear to you it'll be me next time."

"I hope so. You owe me a beer is all I'm saying."

"Got it," Casey yawned. "I'm going to head to bed as well. Sorry I'm not talkative as usual, I'm jet lagged as fuck."

Nick laughed, "That's cool. It's good to see you back."

"You too."

"Oh, why don't you come around for dinner the day after tomorrow so we can catch up, say around seven?"

"That sounds good." Nick smiled.

"Okay cool," Casey smiled in return. "We'll see you in a few days. Good night."

"Night." Nick waved making his way to his car and Casey entered the house.

I stirred slightly as I felt someone kiss my lips softly. Opening my eyes, I saw who it was and smiled.

"Baby," I said tiredly as Casey sat down next to me. "What are you doing home?"

"I proved to them that they didn't need me at the meetings so I'm here. Manipulation is sweet, " Casey joked and then whispered. "I missed you so much."

"Me too. Oh, I'm so happy that you're here."

"Listen, I'm sorry about the other night. If you want to paint the room taupe, it's totally cool by me."

"No, no we agreed on tangerine and that's what we're going to with."

"No, I think taupe is a good idea. It gives the sense that people are in some nice cozy hotel room."

"I was going to say a bed and breakfast but I hadn't thought of that one."

"I'm sure we'll agree on what it reminds us of," Casey smiled lightly. "Do you know it has been hell these past few days that we didn't fix things, over paint colors out of all things."

"It sounds stupid, huh?"

"Yeah," Casey sighed. "I'm really sorry about what happened. That day I had clients reaping down my throat and they were making me angry then I had to blow the fuse with you when I shouldn't have."

"It's okay, baby. I'm really sorry too. I know you're not here a lot, I should understand that by now and I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you."

"Don't worry, it's fine," Casey assured. "So we're done fighting?"

"Yes, thank god." I laughed lightly.

"So, do you forgive me?"

"Always. Do you forgive me too?"


I caressed my hand against my girlfriend's cheek and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too." Casey replied before she pressed her lips against mine for a passionate kiss.
Chapter 4: Love and Mathematics by FemmeFatale
Author's Notes:
If you haven't already, it's important that you read Chapter 3 before proceeding into this chapter. Some of you may have missed something :)
CHAPTER FOUR: Love and Mathematics

"Don't ever turn down going to Hyde again." AJ pointed his finger out as he sat across from Nick during lunch.

"I told you I couldn't go, man. I was going to see Audrey."

"Ah, you didn't go to because you wanted to get cockblocked purposely? That's great."

"Shut up, man." Nick laughed getting his Blackberry out of his pocket looking at briefly.

"Seriously, what did you guys do, besides groping her ass 'accidentally'?"

"We hung out, had dinner, talked and watched a movie. The usual."

"Don't forget about the part where you persisted her to sleep with you while Casey was away. Tell me something new this time."

"Like I said, the usual, and that's an on going in joke between us."

"It's not a joke if you actually want to do it. It just becomes a proposition."

"Yeah, whatever dude." Nick mumbled putting his Blackberry back in his pocket.

"Don't make excuses to me, dude. It's always the same old story," AJ shook his head. "Do you realize that's all you're going to get from her?"

"Not this crap again."

"You know what would be a good idea? If you finally told her how you feel."

"Oh yeah, I can do that. 'Hey Audrey, I have feelings for you. Leave your girlfriend Casey for me and switch teams!'" Nick sarcastically replied.

"I didn't mean it like that. Sit her down and say that you have feelings for her."

"You make it sound so easy when it's clearly not."

"I don't know, it just seems like it would because it's Audrey. You can tell her anything and she's cool with it. Like the time you told her you peed in that fountain in Spain and she didn't even bat an eyelash."

"She's used to my shenanigans."

"That's what I mean. The two of you have a relationship like no other. Even ex-girlfriends of yours get jealous."

"When?" Nick raised an eyebrow.

"Off the top of my head, five years ago when she came to visit you in Florida. Howie and I picked up her from airport and when we pulled into the driveway, she ran out of the car, jumps in your arms, you spun her around and the two of you laughed like total idiots. Paris is standing there, arms folded and the look on her face... there was venom shooting out of those eyes."

"But she got jealous at everything I did with any girl."

"Oh yeah," AJ chuckled. "But you hang out with her all the time, call, texting, emails and IMs late at night. And, and, and who just texted you? It was her, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, she bought these new shoes that she's been wanting for a year. So I said, that's great. I bet you'll look cute in them." Nick laughed and rambled on. "Then she said, they'll hurt like hell though, then I wrote back saying not if you wear them out they won't. Then she goes, I'm not done shoe shopping yet and going to cause trouble at Robertson Boulevard and then I said I better warn the stores there to watch out for you then she says, well you better and it had a little wink at the end. It was so cute."

"Dude." AJ staring at him in disbelief.


"Oh man, you really are into her."

Nick only shrugged and looked down on the ground not saying anything.

"Wait a minute," AJ furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Nick's wondering eyes. "Shit, you've already fallen in love with her, haven't you?"

Nick began to fidget with his hands and still didn't say anything. There was the answer.

AJ continued on, "I thought you really liked her all these years but man, I didn't know you were in love with her. Why haven't you said anything?"

"I don't know. You never asked."

"That's a bullshit answer," AJ spat. "Don't be a smart ass. How long have you felt this way?"

"It's 2008 so let's see, um, 8 years." Nick said nonchalantly.

"Fuck," AJ muttered. "Again, why the hell haven't you said anything?!"

"It's stupid enough to like someone who I can't have but falling in love with her? It sounds all so stupid." Nick said finally looking back up at AJ.

"Did I give you shit when you told me that you liked her? No. Am I giving you shit now that I found out that you're actually in love with her? No. It isn't stupid, and who says you can't have her?"

"Have you ever heard a girl turning straight for a guy? That's never happened."

"She was into guys remember? For a long time before you met her."

"There's the word right there - was. She hasn't been with a guy in so long. She's never going back - and for me? No fucking way."

"You don't know that. You're not the only guy in the world who has a situation like this. I'm sure it happens to lots of people."

"Like who?"

"It happened to me. Remember that girl Emma? She was into women and when I told her how I felt about her, we dated for like three months."

"She was bisexual. That doesn't exactly count. She screwed anything that walked through the door."

"It still counts."

"That's nothing like my situation."

AJ paused for a moment before speaking up again, "I'm not surprised that you fell in love with her."

"Oh yeah?" Nick smiled widely and AJ nodded. "Whenever mom is having her cry wolf situations, the whole thing with Paris and when I'm happy or upset. This one time, it was like 12am and I told her I ran out of Lucky Charms, then she comes by ten minutes later with a new box - little things like that I just adore about her. When I feel like the whole world is going to shit, she's there to tell me, 'Everything will be okay'. I've always loved her," Nick took a deep breath before continuing. "But I can't tell her just like that. She's so happy with Casey and if I told her.... I can't even think about what's going to happen after that. She may never want to talk to me again or be in the same room as me."

"Why are you thinking about the consequences if it hasn't even happened yet? Tell her and you'll find out. You shouldn't keep all these feelings that you have for Audrey inside and it's going to kill you even more that you can't say what you want to say. Let me tell you something, one day she's going to spend the rest of her life with someone and you'll be wishing that it was you. She's your best friend. She has to know how you feel about her."

"Fuck, I don't know if I can." Nick rubbed his head in frustration.

"You just dropped the motherload on me and you cannot just sit there and not do anything about it. I can deal with you not being able to tell her your feelings for her but now that you've admitted that you've been in love with her since you've known her, it's a different ball game now."

"I've learnt how to live with it. It's been too long."

"But it's not healthy."

"There is never a good time to tell her. When there is, I can't say it! I'm just scared that whatever I say, it's going to change things between us."

"That's the sacrifice you're going to have to make. Are you prepared to do that?"

Nick sighed deeply, "I don't know. I honestly don't know."
Chapter 5: Major Label Debut by FemmeFatale
CHAPTER FIVE: Major Label Debut



"Audrey?" Nick called out walking into my living room searching where I was but I'm nowhere to be found.

"I'm outside, Nick!" I yelled from the patio.

Making his way outside, there I was sitting down on the bench and staring at the ocean in my backyard. It was my safe haven when I needed to relax or think.

"Hey," Nick kissed the top of my head, "You're living like an Eskimo out here. It's too cold-" He trailed off when he turned his head and saw my tear-stained face.

"Holy shit, are you okay? What happened?" Nick panicked sitting down next to me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"Michael and I broke up." I blurted.

"Oh Aude," Nick looked at me sadly and wiping the tears that were falling free. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I whispered. "It was the inevitable."

"You guys were going so well..... I don't understand," Nick shook his head trying to make sense of it all. "What, he woke up this morning and decided he wanted to break up with you? What the hell is up his ass?"

"He told me that he didn't want to see me anymore. I was a piece of trash, I should rot in hell, I should die...." I stopped suddenly having flashbacks of that moment.

"That fucking asshole," Nick angrily muttered. "I'm going to kick that guy's ass."

"Nick, please, just leave it alone!" I pleaded him with desperation. "Don't get in the middle of this when it's not your problem."

Nick took a deep breath trying to contain his anger, "I'm sorry, it's just whoever screws up with you is my problem. He has no right to be saying shit like that. Look, It's getting to you."

I shrugged, "Well he knows how to push my buttons. He outdid himself."

"Listen, don't believe that you're any of the things he's saying," Nick held my hands in his. "You're the most wonderful person I know in this whole world and the fact that he doesn't see that makes me sick. He threw it all away."

All I could do was cry harder and Nick took me his arms, "Forget him, okay? He is not worth crying over. One day you're going to look back at this and think it was ridiculous because you'll have everything you'll ever need with someone that truly loves you."

Tucking my lips in, I sniffed, "You're always here for me, huh?"

"You can count me for anything. You mean so much to me." Nick said the last part with such sincerity and kissing my hand gently.

"You mean so much to me too." I smiled slightly through my tears.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. You don't deserve it."

"No, I did," I shook my head, standing up beginning to pace. He looked at me with bewildered eyes and stopped right in front of him. "There's something I need to tell you."

His face softened and stared at me back with so much tenderness. "There's something I need to tell you too."

"The reason why Michael broke up with me is because," I took a deep breath before I had to tell him. Whatever I say now will change everything. "I'm gay."

Nick's eyes widened in shock and his mouth opening slightly, not believing what he just heard, "What?"

"I'm gay." I repeated probably for Nick and myself too.

"Aa-a-aa-are you sure? I mean, really, are you sure?"


"How?..... what?... when? When did you...... what? " Nick stuttered, clearly lost for words.

"I guess I've always known. That's what they all say, right?" I laughed lightly trying to make things a little lighter.

"How long have you known exactly?" Nick asked in a confused state, trying to piece it all together. "I never expected this to come from you. You've been dating guys this whole time, I don't get it."

Taking a deep breath, I sat back down next to him as I started to explain. "For so long I didn't know if it was real. I mean, who am I kidding, I go through phases. But there was always that feeling inside that wouldn't go away. No matter how much I tried to let it go, I couldn't. Michael and I haven't been happy lately. Whenever you'd see us laughing or smiling in front of all you lately, we were just putting on a show. I checked out of that relationship emotionally and I'm sure he did too. Maybe it was because of my attraction to women grew or my love wasn't strong enough for him anymore. Anyway, I had to know if this was the way for me to be happy so I started seeing Anna, one of the girls from work."

Nick nodded listening intently as I continued, "Being with her finally made me realize it. She made me see what I was missing out on. I hadn't been true to myself all this time and now that I finally know who I am, I've never been so happy in my entire life. But at the same time, I was too stupid to realize that I was hurting Michael. I betrayed him. So I told him the truth that I've been cheating on him for three months. All that shit he said to me wasn't because I was a lesbian; it was because I wasn't honest with him. It's so fucking messed up."

"These things happen. As bad as this sounds, you're going to have to hurt people along the way even if you don't want to. That's just the way it is." Nick tried to assure me.

"It's not only Michael. I betrayed everybody I know especially you," I stared at him straight in the eyes. "I wasn't honest with you. It was a pivotal moment in my life and I should've talked to you about this. It killed me more that I wasn't being honest with you more than Michael. I didn't want you to think less of me and I know you must be mad at me for not telling you."

"I will never think that about you ever and I'm not mad at you. I'm glad that you were honest with me now than never."

"I'm so sorry, Nick," I looked at him apologetically. "I really am. I wished I could've talked to you but it's been a blur the whole time."

"You don't have to apologize," Nick gave me a slight smile and brushed his thumb against my cheek. "All that I care about is that you know who you are now. I've never been more proud of you in my life."


"Yeah," Nick said with a big smile. "It takes so much courage for people to do that, and you did it."

I gave him a small smile with tears running down my cheeks once again, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried repeatedly and Nick caught me in his arms as I broke down.

"Shh, it's okay Audrey," Nick whispered in my ear as he stroked my hair. "Everything will be okay. I'm right here with you."

After a while, I finally calmed down and stared at the ocean once again. It became piece and quiet when all you can hear was our breathing and the water crashing against the waves. One of the hardest parts was lifted off my shoulders, I told my best friend the truth. Then suddenly I remembered something.

"What were you going to tell me?"


"You said you were going to tell me something. What was it?" I asked looking up at him.

Nick opened his mouth but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and words came out, "Oh yeah... uh... um... I got a new puppy today. Aaron rescued her from the pound and I named her Layla, like what we talked about."

There was something in his eyes that he was holding back something. He wanted to say it but he couldn't. Being emotionally tired, I didn't dare to ask. Whatever it was, I know he would tell me again later. Smiling softly I replied, "I can't wait to see her."

[End of Flashback.]
Chapter 6: Blues for Uncle Gibb by FemmeFatale
Author's Notes:
I apologize for my super long absence. Shortly after I posted the last chapter, my computer crashed and I didn't have my story backed up. I've only started to re-work the chapters that I have lost and proceeding on to writing the story. Thanks for reading!
CHAPTER SIX: Blues For Uncle Gibb

"I drank so much that night and ended up puking on the side of the road because I really couldn't wait to get back to the hotel. When I was done, I still had some spit hanging over the side of my mouth and when I looked up, there's a girl standing there all excited and she goes, 'Oh my god, are you Nick Carter?'" Nick burst into laughter with the rest of us following.

"That was so fucking hilarious! I was seriously about to piss my pants when she said that!" I laughed out loud while burying my head into couch.

"She picked such a terrific moment too." AJ managed to say in between laughs.

"Hands down the best drunken story of the night!" Casey triumphantly declared.

With Casey being back home, we caught up on each other's lives. Talked about work, friends, work and more work. It was really good to see her again that the disagreements we had overtime just vanished. What's paint? But once all that was out of the way, we invited Nick and AJ for an impromptu dinner. Brian returned to his home in Georgia with his family and Howie went on vacation to Puerto Rico with Leigh so our L.A. buddies were available. I love getting together with them because our conversations usually turned into a forum of drunken and debauchery stories from mostly the past, but in my case, the present. Sentences starting with 'oh I got so drunk that time in Amsterdam', 'Back in college when I beer-ponged for a living...' or 'That time I flashed everyone during a live sex show in Germany...’ Everything was going so well until a phone rang.

"Hello?" Casey answered her phone getting up from the couch.

"What about in San Francisco for pride a couple of years ago when you all those tequila shots then you started doing the chicken dance in the hotel lobby?" Nick pointed at me laughing.

"Oh yeah!" I suddenly remembered the event and doubled over in laughter. "Don't accuse me like I was the only one that did it. You were doing it with me like 30 seconds later!"

"Shit, I forgot about that." Nick replied sheepishly.

"WHAT?!" Casey yelled making us jump and sit in silent listening in. "Are you fucking kidding me? I gave Vanessa the presentation to do and you're telling me she can't do it because she caught crabs from some guy she slept with?? Uh huh yeah...... So it's absolutely necessary?.... Okay, okay, fine, bye." Casey hung up and tossed her phone beside her before getting up.

"God fucking dammit!"

"What's happening?" I asked alarmed.

"I have to go back to Venezuela."

"What?" My face fell and shook my head, "No, no, you're not. You can't."

"I have to, baby. You heard what happened," Casey said looking heartbroken about leaving so soon. "I'm the only one that knows how to do it so I have to get back there as soon as I can."

"You just came back 72 hours ago and you're already going back?" I said trying to make sense of it all. I saw Nick at the corner of my eye looking disappointed. "There's no one else besides Vanessa and you that can present it??"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"Not even Jared."

"He's on a romantic getaway with his wife."

"Shit," I muttered. "How long are you going to be gone for - again?"

"They said a couple of days but I think it'll be at least a week to close the deal."

I sighed deeply, "Out of all the times Vanessa whored around, now she had to contract something?"

"I guess it finally caught up with her."

"I can't believe this...." I folded my arms, frowning sadly.

"C'mon guys, don't get crabby." AJ laughed in hysterics making us turn to stare at him bewilderedly then he immediately stopped. Now was not the time for 'I can't believe you said that' jokes.

Sighing heavily and tucking my lips in, Casey knelt down in front of me, "I'm so sorry that I have to leave, I really am. You know this is my job and they need me. I promise that I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

I nodded, "Okay." Casey smiled giving me a quick kiss on the lips and stood up on her feet. "Wanna help me pack?"

"Nah, I think I'm good. I'll just stay here if you don't mind." I genuinely smiled.

Casey only nodded knowing that I needed some time to cool off. Before heading out of the living room, Nick stood up, "I'll help you if that's cool."

"That'd be great, thanks Nick."

Once they were out of sight, I walked over and sat where AJ was sitting on the couch across from me, laying my head on his shoulder and said, "They're going to talk about me aren't they?"

"Oh yeah," AJ laughed and wrapped an arm around me. "They are."

"Can you do me a really big favor?" Casey asked kneeling down grabbing her suitcase from under the bed.

"Yeah sure. What do you need?" Nick took the suitcase from Casey and lifted it onto the bed.

"Can you stay with Audrey until I get back?"

"Oh she's going to love that idea." Nick joked.

"I just think it would be a good idea. I know how lonely she gets here being on her own and now that you're back, it would be really great if you could stay with her."

Nick looked at her with skepticism, "I don't know Case. She'll probably think you're doing it out of sympathy and you know how much she doesn't like that."

"This isn't sympathetic at all. I'm asking as her loving girlfriend for you to take care of her while I'm gone. I'm only going to be gone for a week. Think of it as an extended sleepover." Casey smirked.

"An extended sleepover does sound fun...." Nick trailed off and laughed.

"So, will you do it?"

A smile appeared on Nick's face, "Okay, okay."

"Thank you so much!" Casey wrapped her arms around Nick giving him a big hug.

Nick returned the hug and laughed at her relief, "No problem."

"You better ask her first to see if it's okay."

"Oh, we don't have to ask her. Just slip it under the rug." Casey mischievously said.

"So she can't detest?"


"That's very sly of you, but she will anyway."

"I have my earplugs ready."

"I think I would need them more than you." Nick laughed. "I can hear it now, 'Niiiiiiiiiiiiick!'"

Casey and Nick made their way back to the living room with Casey's luggage in tow.

"I called a cab; it should be here in five minutes." Casey setting down her luggages against the couch.

"Do you have everything? Hair straightener? Your seven pounds of make up?" I smiled lightly.

Casey laughed, "I think there's about eight pounds of MAC make up in there. I'm all set."

"What about my naked picture? The one I signed with hugs and kisses?" AJ grinned.

"Oh, that's the most important one of all. You know I packed that first." Casey winked.

Then she turned towards me and saw that I was in deep thought while staring outside in the street. Walking over to me, she touched my hand and said, "Hey, come here."

She pulled me up and led me to the outside patio, closing the screen door behind us. "This is out of my hands, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You know I would rather have a Saved By The Bell marathon and stay in our pyjamas eating ice cream than go fly back but this is just something I have to do."

"Don't worry, Case. I understand. It's just a little annoying that's all."

"I'm really sorry, Audrey," Casey caressed my face softly, "When this is all over, how about we take off to Boston for the weekend. How's that sound?"

"Even go to the Museum of Fine Arts?"


"Reminisce around Harvard Square?"

Casey smiled, "Sure, anything you want."

A loud beep came from the front of the house.

"I'll call you when I get in okay?" Casey leaned in giving me one last kiss for the road. "I'll see you in a week."

"See ya." I waved slightly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

She smiled at me before entering back into the house saying her goodbyes to Nick. AJ grabbed her suitcase and led Casey out to the cab. Giving myself a few minutes, I stepped back into the house as AJ walked back into the living room hearing the cab speed away into a distance.

"You alright?" Nick rubbed my shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just overacting that's all," I laughed lightly. "Just being a drama queen but I'll get over it."

"It's only a week. It's not that long if you really think about." AJ said.

"Yeah I guess so." I mumbled.

"You'll be occupied the whole time anyway." Nick said.

"I guess that's true. I can bring my work home so I can get more things done."

"No I don't mean that." Nick said with such innocence that it made me raise an eyebrow.

"I know that tone of voice, Mister. What do you mean?"

"Because I'm staying with you."

My eyes furrowed in confusion, "Excuse me, what?"

"Oh, Casey and I decided that I'd be staying with you." Nick said nonchalantly.

"Care to ask me about what I would think about that?" I asked raising my voice slightly.

"Nope. We thought it wouldn't matter." Nick replied with a mischievous smile.

"Apparently my opinion doesn't matter around here."

"So that was the evil plan you were talking about upstairs," AJ quipped. "Should've seen that one coming, Aude."

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiiick!" I whined and playfully slapped him on the arm. "I'll be fine here, really. I don't need a babysitter!"

"C'mon it'll be fun, I promise. We can stay up all night, drinking, talking..." Nick began.

"Sing songs around a campfire..." I mumbled rolling my eyes.

"That's the spirit, Aude!" AJ pepped up with enthusiasm.

"I'm here to keep your mind off her not being here. You need me, I know it," Nick pleaded and began to sing. "Let me, let me, let me, let me get what I want....this time."

Sighing deeply, I knew I wasn't going to win this. He used a Smiths song, a favorite of mine, to win this argument? How dare he! But dammit, it totally worked.

"I don't really have a choice I guess, you manipulative prick."

"Aww aren't you sweet," Nick smiled widely and kissed my forehead. "We'll have fun, I promise."
End Notes:
Contains lyrics from The Smiths - Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want
Chapter 7: Da Da Dada by FemmeFatale

It's been a week since Casey left and Nick temporarily moving in with me. Remember when she said it was only going to be a couple of days? As expected, it was going to be more than a week. That's what you get when your significant other is in the high ranks of her job. She calls in making sure everything is okay and that Nick isn't driving me too crazy. Honestly, it hasn't been too bad. It's definitely kept my mind off Casey not being around. He's kept me occupied by going to the beach, playing laser tag, hanging out the Santa Monica Pier, and among other adventures. He also wreaks havoc at work for me lately but in a good way. He keeps me company at the office, spread out on the couch as we have our conversation, watching me in frustration and happiness while I talk to Rolling Stone or Old Navy and he's even sat in a few advertising pitches making funny faces to make me lose my cool. There hasn't been one dull moment thus far.

"I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and a durban, doin 120 gettin head while I'm swervin, damn Natalie, you a crazy chick, yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick!" I rapped or practically yelled in the shower rinsing my hair. "I'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers motherfucker, pull up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker, what you want Natalie? To drink and fight! What you need Natalie? To fuck all night!"

"Hey Aude, have you seen my sweater?" Nick announced himself as he walked into my bathroom.

I jumped in shock, grabbing my chest and looked at his reflection through the shower curtain, "Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry," Nick chuckled. "I was just asking to see if you knew where my sweater is."

"Which one? You brought over tons."

"It's the ...." He trailed off as I heard him shuffling around, looking into my dirty clothes basket. "Woah, how much red underwear do you have?!"


"There must be hundreds in here! I've never seen someone own so much red before."

"Get the hell out of there!" I whined. "Which sweater were you looking for?"

"The one with the stripes, uh...."

"The green, white and the black? It's probably in the dryer."

"Okay, I'll go check."

Then I heard him lift the toilet seat up and down.

"Did you just check in my toilet to see if it was there? Because I totally flushed it."

"Hey, you never know. I'm checking everything just in case."

"Well in that case, have you checked the sewerage? It could be floating around there."

"If I'm desperate to find it, I'll dive in there."

Then there was silence.

"Well are you going to check the laundry room?"

"In a minute."

"Are you waiting for me to come out of the shower?"

"I was hoping to catch the 9am peep show."

"Sorry but the show is currently on hiatus. The girl has been eating too many Doritos."

"Not fair, Livingstone," Nick paused for a moment. "C'mon, just one breast before I go back to the Vietnam War."

"Get out!"

"One ass cheek?"

"Fuck off Carter!" I yelled in between my stifles of laughter.

"Okay, okay!" He exclaimed before exiting the bathroom.

Shortly after I had finished getting ready and putting on my makeup, Nick walked into my room wearing the striped sweater with a huge grin on his face, "Found it!"

"Thank god. If you didn't, you'd have no choice but go shirtless." I replied sitting at my vanity as I put on my eyeliner.

"That's not a bad thing for you."

"I guess. It is nice to see a hot sexy shirtless guy around every once and a while."

"Yeah...." Nick trailed off. "You just called me hot and sexy."


Nick grinned, "I'm sorry but I have to gloat a little bit."

"Yeah sure, enjoy. It's not like I haven't said that to you before."

"I know but....." Nick stared at me for a moment then chuckled.


"You are so in love with me, that's why you said that." Nick folded his arms and smiled in satisfaction.

"Because those compliments, whatever they are, equal to long lasting love," I turned around to face him. "Should I tell Casey it's over between us?"

"Yeah. Tell her we're going to Vegas to get married and have a million Carter babies."

"Okay sure," I nodded. "But wait, she won't believe me. I'm not into bonding with male reproductive organs. Sorry."

"You have to do something about that."

"Many years too late for that." I laughed.

"By the way," Nick began. "Next time you sing in the shower, pick something that's more smoothing. That's the reason why you look like you want to kill someone before you go to work."

I shook my head. "No wonder Paul looks scared of me when I get to work."

"That poor assistant of yours. Getting heat for no reason."

"Yeah... I should really singing that in the morning. It was either that or the Copacabana. I need something more soothing."

"How about Phil Collins?"

"I think I'd rather drink poison."

"Me too."

"But you have to admit, All Against Odds is the shit when you're in the mood for it."

"Oh yeah," Nick began to sing. "How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace...."

"When I stand here taking every breath with you...." I sung in return. "That song gives me the goosebumps every time."

"I think we should start a band. You on vocals, me on the drums, Chris and Anthony on guitar and bass."

"More importantly, what's going to be our band name?"

"How about.... Cyclone Crush?"

"So we suddenly became an emo band? No. How about Super Fantastic Robotic Fun Time?"

"Nah. Maybe if we did Japanese electro pop. How about Nick and Audrey featuring two other dudes?"

"Like Sonny and Cher," I thought for a moment. "I like that. But Chris will be mad since he's not the star and leave the band."

"Then Anthony will leave because Chris left. Then I'll leave because I have to tour and you'll leave because you've got an ad agency to run."

"We lasted exactly 12 hours. It's way longer than any one hit wonders." I laughed.

"So, what are we doing today again?"

"Finding a bridesmaid dress for Sasha's wedding, particularly in the canary yellow area."

"Oh yeah I forgot about that. That's like in a month at Santa Barbara?"

"No, not anymore. The farm they were going to have it at, something about snakes and scorpions roaming around, so they decided to move it back home."

"That's cool. At least none of your family has to fly all the way from Connecticut anymore."

I nodded as I stood up and put on my shoes, "It'll be great for her to have a hometown wedding anyway. It's so much better for her than creepy crawlies running around her garter. She'd be giggling and screaming all throughout the wedding when it's meant to be serious and beautiful."

"That's more of your speed. I can put ants down your dress before you walk down the aisle when you get married."

"You know, some people may see that as mean but not to me. I'll love every minute of it. Does that make me weird?"

"Now's the time you ask if you're weird? Oh honey," Nick trailed off laughing. "You've been weird ever since I met you, if not since you were born."

"Awww, aren't you sweet." I grazed my hand against his cheek.

"So will you show me a little skin now?" Nick flirted tracing a finger down my arm.

"No," I turned to my dresser to put on my earrings.

"Fine..." Nick mumbled. "Man, I don't think I've seen Sasha since she threw us that party when we toured there last year. That was an awesome night." Nick laughed lightly at the brightest memory from that night.

"Oh god," I groaned. "I so want to forget about that. I thought we were over with the drunken stories?"

"With you, it's never over."

"I really don't want to be reminded."

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Nick ignored my comment. "You went going through so much champagne and Sam Buca shots because you hadn't had a drink in two weeks. You probably drank two weeks worth of alcohol. Halfway through the night, you just disappeared. Everyone thought you'd passed out in the guestroom. Then 10 minutes later, you came running out of the house in your underwear and jumped in the pool."

Covering my face with hands, I replied, "That was so not cool."

"It wasn't that bad. I was pretty drunk too."

"Didn't you try to pull me out but I dragged you in with me into the pool or something?"

"Something like that," Nick chuckled. "Then we ran up to the bathroom to shower to get the chlorine off. You and I were screaming on the top of our lungs, 'Get this shit off me now!'"

I held onto my stomach as we both roared with laughter, "Holy shit, we're a lethal combination."

"We really are," Nick smiled. "And that's why you shou-"

"I'm not flashing you."

"Dammit." Nick said under his breath.
End Notes:

The Lonely Island - Natalie's Rap

Phil Collins - All Against Odds

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