Will You Be... By Teri

Chapter One: Some Hearts Just Get All The Right Breaks

Despite the steam escaping from the manhole covers throughout the already bustling streets of the city that never sleeps, a buttery sweet smell of fresh frosting and rolled fondant wafted out the open windows of Hearth and Home Cakes located in upper Manhattan. Inside the kitchen Marie De Luca stood wiping her hands with a damp towel grinning at the large four-tiered wedding cake she'd just finished. She inspected it closely smiling at the delicate fondant flowers that decorated the ornately designed cake.  Proudly she turned the cake making sure the fondant was smooth almost like a glassy frozen lake and all the decorations were as flawless as they could be.    

Her silent appraisal of her work was interrupted as her friend and business partner Anthony stood in the doorway. "Tell me you didn't stay up all night here working on this?"

Marie looked over and rolled her eyes grinning at him. "Oh shush it's worth it." She shot back as she turned her attention back to her creation before her.  He shook his head at her and moved over to the side of the marble counter top and helped her lift the nearly 200 pound cake over onto the rolling tray to be taken out to the refrigerated delivery van. She sighed in relief as she watched Anthony and her other workers, Rhianne and Rebecca pull it out to the truck. She grinned to herself and turned and walked into the back through a short hallway and into her personal office that held her work computer and files. She clicked on the computer and checked her email from her business website. A few moments later she checked her email seeing a new message.

Hey hon, how've things been? I'm sorry it's been so late in getting back to your email.
Work has been crazy busy lately with all the contracts I've been getting. I'm actually
going to be stopping by in good ole NYC soon on my way to Ibiza for the holidays on a
shoot there. I won't be getting back until February. Anyways I really hope to see you
when I'm in town next week. Write back soon!

Marie grinned widely at the message and replied back glad that her friend from LA would be coming to stop by in the midst of her travels. At that moment Rebecca walked back into the back office. She grinned at her. "What's up Bec?" She asked noting her friend's concerned yet curious expression.

"Nothing much just wanted to see if you were going to finally take some time off for the holidays." Rebecca asked continuing her curious glance at her friend and boss.

Marie rolled her dark brown eyes and untied her hair from the back of her head letting her dark espresso hair cascade around her shoulders. "Becca...seriously this is always our busiest time of year I couldn't possibly take a break now."

"Why not, it's not like you need to be here to run things. Hello, you do have us that can handle the load. You taught me everything I know about cake design and decoration and I'd like to show you that I can hold my own."

Marie grinned widely at her for her ambition and willingness to prove how much of an asset to the business she really could become. "You're sure you want to take on that much responsibility? I mean say if I decide to go, would you be able to handle a crisis situation?"

"Yes. I've handled them before; remember when that hotel housekeeping staff ate an entire wedding cake on us the night before a wedding. Who was there to help you get another one done in time? Oh...that'd be me." She replied taking a seat and laughing a little as she remembered the stress of that day.  It had shocked them both that the staff had decided to indulge in something that was clearly marked to be off limits. But then again Murphy's law always came into play with anything Marie tried to do.

Marie sighed, she knew she should take some time off. Looking down at her hands, when was the last time she'd gotten a manicure or even a massage? It'd been far too long to count when she'd actually taken the time to do something purely for herself. "Well if I do decide to go on vacation you'll be the first to know I promise." She said hoping that would be enough to diffuse the conversation for the time being. For the rest of the day she spent working on the next design sketches for an intricate quincenera cake for a friend of Becca's family. She tapped her pencil willing her creative juices to begin to flow.

Not being able to come up with more than just the basic form and structure of the cake she sighed in frustration. She set her pencil and sketchpad down standing up. Deciding on going to clear her head with a walk through her favorite bookstore. She went over shedding her white chef jacket and pulled on her thick black Marc Jacobs wool trench coat. She walked out to the front seeing Anthony Rhianne and Becca all standing there, Becca on the phone with a client, Rhianne rolling some freshly made fondant out.

"Where ya off to?" Anthony asked with a curious grin.

Marie smiled and took a breath. "Just going to the bookstore you know..." She said waving her hand near her forehead. "To clear my head maybe get some inspiration on that Quincenera cake."

Anthony gave her a sympathetic grin and smiled, "I'll hold down the fort for you while you're gone, if anyone calls I'll take a message for you."

She nodded and bit her lower lip. "Thanks hon I shouldn't be very long." She said walking to the door holding her jacket closed as she opened the door feeling the blustery cold wind begin to bite at her skin. She bundled up and walked out braving the freezing New York air and walked down the street and around the block looking up at the large high-rise buildings that surrounded the already congested streets. She smiled to herself and looked ahead seeing her favorite bookstore. She pushed open the door with a ring of the bell attached smiling to the clerk at the front register as she made her way through the store towards the back. She perused the shelves taking a book off of one and thumbed through its crisp pages gingerly skimming the paragraphs finding some interesting sentences here and there.

Once she had made her selections she walked over to the cookbook section and grinned at all the various books not seeing any new ones she'd yet to purchase. On her way over to the register she stopped by the travel section picking up a book or two and looking at the various locations that were in stark contrast to the densely populated island of Manhattan that she called home. She wondered if she really even wanted to take a chance, experience someplace new someplace she had yet to discover geographically and maybe even within herself at the same time. She remembered back to when she was in pastry school and how she always had jumped at every single chance to travel around the world figuring she was young and probably would never get the opportunity to ever again. Setting the book back on the shelf then heading to the register to make her purchases she thought maybe it was indeed time to discover some new territory for her and see where it would lead her.

---

Meanwhile almost three thousand miles away on the other coast Nick stood listening to his sister rant and rave about his recent string of failed blind dates. "Nick come on seriously you work all the time and then you come home to more work. When are you going to take time out for yourself?" Angel asked concerned for her own brother's sanity. Ever since he'd decided to jump back into the dating scene after his last relationship had ended tragically she'd tried to help by setting him up on blind dates. Unfortunately for him and those dates he still compared everything they did, said or wore to the one who had stolen his heart.

"I do things for myself. This whole dating thing is something I'm doing for myself isn't it?" He reasoned feeling like he was trying to convince himself even more so than his endearing yet meddlesome sister.

"No you're doing it because of other reasons and you know it mister. You think they need a mother and really they just need positive female influences like their aunties have been to them since everything happened."

Nick grimaced he hated thinking of how he had to rely on his sisters to be the female presences in his own daughters' lives. The one place that should and always have been reserved for their mother. But she's not here anymore...He thought to himself in bitter grief. He'd come to terms with losing Anna and accepted that she was gone but it still stung just to even think of what she was missing from their children's growth and development. He knew he couldn't blame her after all she'd done nothing wrong but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He turned and looked over his shoulder seeing his youngest, three-year-old, Livie, napping on his bed that morning. His grief stricken expression softened and he grinned a little. He'd always be grateful to Anna, the woman who'd not only loved him during the most tumultuous years of his life but also committed her life to his and gave him the two most beautiful little girls he ever laid eyes on.

"I don't care Angel...Maybe I'm just not ready yet for a serious relationship I mean come on my last one ended pretty abruptly." Nick reasoned as he turned back and gripped the railing to the balcony of his home in Malibu.

"Nick you do realize that Anna would want you to be happy. It's been two years you are doing the right thing by moving on." She reassured as she continued to pack her bags for her trip. "It's not like I'm asking you to contemplate marriage with these girls. Just you know give ‘em a chance. Get to know them, let them get to know you."

"I'm a single father and a musician. I can't really let them get to know me very well without the D-a-d-d-y title getting a lot of attention."

"So don't talk about my nieces. Talk to them about you're personality, talk to them about them. I know it's been quite a while since you've been out in the dating world and all but seriously Nick girls like to see that you're interested in them. Even if you have to fake it a little bit. You used to be a huge player and..."

"And that changed. Anna changed me and hell I have daughters now I can't imagine just randomly sleeping with women now that I have two little girls to take care of it's just so frustrating and confusing you know?"

"Why is it so confusing?" She countered as she zipped up her toiletries bag.

Nick shrugged to himself and heard the balcony door creak open. "Angel I gotta go I have a munchkin that's awake." He said closing his eyes. He hated to admit it but he really did need a woman around, if only just to help raise his two very precocious daughters. He rang off with his sister and turned seeing Livie standing there in her lavendar pajama top and pants rubbing her eyes from the intense sunlight that hit her newly awakened eyes and her wavy white-blonde locks sticking every which way. "Hey dollface." He said making her grin at the term of endearment. "Sleep well?"

She nodded and walked over to him hugging his leg. Nick grinned at her and lifted her up onto his hip. "Who was that on the phone Daddy?"

"Aunt Angel. She's getting ready to go to Ibiza for a modeling contract she got." Nick explained simply as he turned them to look out to the ocean.

"I'm gonna miss her." She whispered and laid her head on her father's shoulder. Nick rested his head against hers as well and used his other arm to rub her back. Livie sighed and then moved to look at her father's face. He grinned at her adoringly as she messed with his hair. "Daddy why do you have hair on your face?" She asked continuing her very inquisitive streak that she'd recently fallen into.

He chuckled and carried her into the house. "Well missy, daddy's very lazy and decided he didn't want to shave so the hair is growing."

"I don't shave...why don't I have any?" She asked with her bright blue eyes wide and full of curious wonder.

Nick sighed and grinned at her trying to find something to say that would satisfy her voracious curiousity. "Well Liv it's because you're a girl. Girls don't get much hair on their faces and what hair they do we normally can't see it."

"Oh...Okay." Livie replied with a grin as he carried her down the stairs seeing his oldest, five-year-old, Jo, standing in the kitchen cracking eggs into a bowl.

Nick set Livie down on the floor letting her run over to her older sister and pull up a barstool at the island counter to watch her. "Since when did you learn how to crack eggs open?" He asked as he gave Jo a kiss to the top of her light brown hair. She looked up and smiled widely at him.

"No where special..." She said simply. That statement had become her answer to anything her mother had taught her. He sighed figuring it was her coping mechanism kicking in to protect herself from remembering her mom.

Nick gave her a look and helped with the cooking and whisking the eggs to make an omelette for the three of them to share. "Joanna Danielle did you mother teach you how to do that?" He asked giving her a look that demanded honesty.

Jo rolled her hazel eyes, the same color that her mother's were. "Yeah..." She said chewing on her lower lip. She was only three when her mother had abruptly left their lives and it stung her the most that she had died. It wasn't that she wasn't close to her father, but in some ways she was always closer to her mother than anyone in the entire family. Now that she was the oldest female in the house, at the ripe old age of five she decided to make sure that her father wouldn't feel the pain as badly as he might be without her help.

"It's okay to miss her you know. I miss her all the time." Nick said simply trying to provoke at least a little bit of a reaction out of his daughter. Ever since Anna had died two years ago he'd watched as Jo took to being his protector and at the same time tried to become the perfect daughter.

Jo gave her dad a look and shrugged, "You miss her?"

Nick nodded, "Every day. It's okay to be sad about losing her. But at the same time, she'd want you to be happy at the time we had with her too." He said ruffling her long stick straight brown hair. He grinned at her making her smile at him and tossed everything into the hot skillet both girls ooh-ing at the loud sizzle the food made as it hit the searing hot pan. He finished up the omelette dishing it up in threes and taking a seat at the island counter. They ate silently for a moment until a rather loud belch emanated from Livie.

"Liv! Ew!" Jo shrieked in disgust.

Nick set his fork down and laughed. "Nice one Liv." He remarked patting her shoulder. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world that the youngest of his daughters would take to his less than socially appropriate attributes.

"Your turn Daddy!" Livie said wanting to giggle at her father.

Nick rolled his eyes and gave her a look but instantly melted by the sweet grin that played upon her lips. "Alright, alright..." He said as he began swallowing air and then let out a small burp to start making Jo roll her eyes at him. He gave her a look knowing that if it got loud enough she'd break her grossed out expression in favor of a grin. He let out a loud belch that made Jo's face crumble into a fit of laughter.

"Again!" Livie shrieked then belched again trying to out do her father.

"No I think we're good, you two need to get ready for school."

Livie rolled her eyes and sighed hating to have to go to preschool. If it weren't for the massive social interaction it gave her she'd hate going entirely. Jo, on the other hand was quite the little bookworm for a kindergartener she was always bringing something home for Nick to frame or place on the refrigerator proudly. It astounded him how much she had taken after her mother, excelling in school to the point where her teachers were recommending that she'd reach first grade in no time at all.

Clearing their dishes into the sink, Nick shuffled then them up the stairs and got them both ready and all together and into his truck. He did love their usual rides to school, he wasn't like most parents who kept CD's of The Wiggles or Sesame Street readily available. Instead the girls got their own education on the way to school each day. He grinned as he heard their voices loudly yelling the lyrics, or at least what they thought were the lyrics to Hungry Like The Wolf.

After dropping them off at the school, bidding farewell to them for the day he sighed and made the 20-minute drive home. Once he arrived home he walked up the stairs and sat on his unmade bed. He looked to his nightstand seeing a picture of himself and Anna, from their wedding day. He'd been completely scared about being a husband at the age of 22 let alone becoming a father. He and Anna had dated for a year previous to their wedding and had planned on tying the knot eventually; only Jo had come along to speed up the process. After they married the two spent four blissfully happy years together before everything came crashing down one windy afternoon in late November.

"You're going to the store after you get done with class right?" He asked hoping that she'd have the time after her meetings and her classes to go food shopping for the rest of the week.

Anna grinned into the phone and sighed contentedly. "Yes babe seriously you worry too much!" She retorted making him snicker at her. "Yes I'll get everything we need, I'm sorry about not getting it before, just this midterm is driving me up the wall."

Nick chuckled and looked over to the living room where Jo and Livie were playing with blocks. "Well you're the smartass that decided to go back to school."

Anna giggled a little and sighed at him, "Yes I know. Just think though once I have my degree I'll be able to tutor the girls when you go on tour in January so we can travel together as a family." She replied, knowing that touring as a family is what he loved even more than touring itself. It allowed him to really bond with the girls on his days off and take them to see all the places he'd seen in his lifetime. It also let them see their father in his glory, with screaming fans and blaring music at every show. Even though he kept them well hidden from the fans, opting to not expose the girls at such a tender age. The fans did occasionally catch a glimpse of them but really nothing more. The past nine months they'd spent on tour had been certainly a whirlwind adventure. Between all the press and sight seeing on his days off.

He grinned at her statement and looked over to the girls again. "You're positively evil you know that?"

"Why because I tamed the infamous Nick Carter and got knocked up?"

"Yes exactly." He joked back biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "So when will you be home?"

Anna glanced at her watch noting the time and the number of hours it would be until she could return home again. "I'll be home tonight, probably for a late dinner...Let the girls eat without me I don't know how long my meetings and my classes are going to last today."

"Okay, so I guess that means pizza tonight." He said with his tone crescendo to allow the girls to hear him. A collective "yay!" came from the living room making both Nick and Anna chuckle at the response.

"Wow there is no denying that their your kids babe." She remarked into the phone. She saw the other students begin to file into the lecture hall and got up gathering her bag.

"Hey hon I gotta go I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll be here. Love you..."

"I love you too. See you tonight."

Those had been the last words they had exchanged. Nick laid back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling sighing in sadness. He hated that he still missed her to this day. He knew he'd never fully get over losing her but he'd come to terms with her physical absence over the course of the previous two years, fully immersing himself into the dual role of parenting. He'd not only gotten Jo out of toddler age and gotten Livie completely potty trained on his own with minimal advice from the friends of his who indeed were parents. It was definitely a lot to take in all at once, in one night he became not only a widow but both a mother and a father to the girls. It wasn't something he took to very easily but as time passed and with the support of his band mates and family he had been able to find somewhat of a balance between career and family. Now if only he could bring himself to having a proper date with a woman without automatically thinking of what she'd be like with his children.

He figured it was his old protective instinct coming through to keep any one who was less than worthy from his children. He knew it was also in part, his own defense mechanism to keep women away from his own heart as well finding any minor fault to be quite the deal breaker. It had to change, this he definitely knew. But how, that was the question at hand.

Chapter Seven: Bloody Mary, Full Of Grace

Marie cringed as she opened her eyes slowly looking around the room her head feeling like a million pounds. She slowly begrudgingly got up seeing that she was merely in a tiny tank top and her underwear. She grabbed a pair of jeans from her bag and a cream v-neck sweater before going down the stairs slowly her hands clutching the railing as the world spun around her.

"Morning sunshine..." She heard from in the kitchen where Nick was leaning against the counter, two mugs of steaming hot coffee in front of him. She gave him a petulant glance and cringed as his laughter rang out irritating the pounding migraine that was just behind her left eye. He slid the mug over to her and she nodded appreciatively inhaling the aroma of the French roast. He let her drink in silence for a few moments watching as her eyes fluttered closed and took a big sigh of relief after she felt the caffeine surging through her system. It shocked him really, to see her, no make up on like their first meeting, and her hair in a messy bun. It was a simple look, comfortable even but he really liked seeing her this way...just after waking up. The mere thought of that alone shocked him to no end. She opened her eyes holding onto the mug one hand on the handle, the other gently cupping the bottom as she glanced at him watching her, a blush filling her cheeks at his open gaze. "Feel better?" He asked.

She smiled a little, "Yeah a little, just still I don't think I've ever drank that much in my entire life...How much did I drink?" She asked turning from him and walking over to the dining table for a moment before turning back to him.

He grinned and nodded, "I don't think anyone has ever drank that much...well okay I know people who have but still you can pack away your alcohol." He said with a silly grin on his face. True he'd drank a lot himself but she'd far surpassed him in that department, both of them having Howie drive them back to her place so he could make sure that she'd get inside okay.

She turned for a moment, seeing her black lacy strapless bra hanging on one of the chairs and cringed. "Oh...God..." She said grabbing the offending material and hiding it behind her back her blush worsening every moment. "I took this off...in front of you?"

"You did..." He replied amusedly. He had to admit at the time it was rather comical to see her attempt to be sexy when she was so inebriated and clumsy, but at the same time it was a rather humorous turn on. That even when she was so drunk she was still appealing to him. "It's okay...no big deal though." He said trying to ease her internal torment.

"No, but you were here when I did..." She said her brow furrowing in embarrassment. It wasn't that she was prude or anything really but she was always taught certain decorum when she was in the presence of the opposite sex and drunkenly taking her bra off was definitely not part of that upbringing.

"I was..."

"Did we...?" She asked not remembering if they had done anything sexual. She wasn't sure, but she did remember inviting him up to the bedroom that night. Everything was very fuzzy and was coming back to her in bits and pieces here and there. He shook his head ‘no' and she gave him a perplexed look. "We didn't?"

He smirked and looked at his coffee for a moment then back at her as he began to speak. "Call me old fashioned but I prefer to have sex with women who are actually conscious." He quipped making her eyes bulge in further shock and embarrassment making him chuckle lightly.

She rolled her eyes and turned her body, one hand flying to her forehead pinching the bridge of her nose, as she moved into the laundry area dropping the bra into the hamper. "Oh now that's attractive..." She retorted sarcastically looking at the washer as the memory dawned on her... "Did I beg at one point?" She asked as she turned and looked at him from her changed position from over at the washer.

He chewed on his lip to keep himself from laughing. He glanced at her, an idea forming in his head. "Do you want to get some breakfast? I know a diner not far from here...has the best pancakes and hash browns in the city."

She gave him a sideways glance cocking her head to the side just so almost studying him for a moment. She was hungry and maybe getting some breakfast would allow her to enjoy his company for just that much longer. "I'd love to..." She replied returning his smile.

---

"Does it ever get weird for you? The whole fame thing?" Marie asked as she lightly salted her scrambled eggs. She'd found it rather amusing that on their short walk to the diner he'd been stopped for autographs and pictures three different times by 20-something fans. Of course he'd handled each situation with the utmost class and respect smiling at the girls, signing their things and taking pictures with them. Marie had even volunteered to take pictures so that she wouldn't get asked about whom she was or even get her picture taken either.

It had definitely been an experience. She'd never really saw what happens to a celebrity when they met a fan. The few times she'd seen famous people anywhere close to her was when she would be walking down the street only to find it was closed off for a movie shoot for the day, or seeing them get out of fancy limousines in haute couture on the way to some fancy red carpet event. But this was certainly different. The change he made from being the normal guy she was growing accustomed to being around had made her almost do a double take.

One minute he was talking about the Clippers and the need for a solid backcourt defense and the next he was all smiles and professionally cordial answering questions fully equipped with pearly white smile and sharpie pen.

He shrugged as he chewed on his piece of sourdough toast. He took a sip of his orange juice and sighed, "I don't know I guess I'm really just used to flipping over into that side of myself. I mean I've been doing this since I was 12 years old, and even before that I was into acting and all sorts of performance stuff like that. It's something you just get so used to switching on and off that you don't even realize it after a while." He explained studying how she was looking at him. The curious look on her face made him smile at her innocent curiosity. "Was it weird for you? I've had that situation happen before, it's been a long time but you handled it beautifully."

"How would I have handled it? I mean I'm not the ‘important' one they want to see, so I just stand in the background. And I think that girl actually keeled over when you put your arm around her when I took the picture for her...the look on her face was absolutely priceless." She replied chuckling at the girl's star struck surprise.

"Yeah they kind of do that sometimes. The fans are pretty protective of the others and me after all these years we've gone through quite a bit of drama."

"I can imagine that's why you're still single then? I mean it'd be hard to find a woman who'd be able to be secure enough in herself to put up with the attention let alone to share their man with the world." She said remarking at the public nature to which his love life must have been in the past. She saw the glimmer in his eyes and felt immediately stupid for mentioning the type of scrutiny he must go through with every girlfriend he's ever had. "I didn't mean..." She began to say but he shook his head understanding her original thought process fully.

He played with the fork in his right hand and averted his eyes momentarily as he began to explain, "Last time I even really had to think about it was years ago. I've kind of been a bachelor for a long time, the others found their soul mates and I'm just kind of here."

"What was your last relationship like? If you don't mind me asking..." She posed making him look at her with a pensive glance.

He didn't want to get into specifics that was for sure, he wanted to break his past to her gently and not as one big sweeping explanation. "I thought it was going to last forever..."

"But it didn't?" She asked getting an even more curious look to her face. He loved how her eyes seemed to give so many clues to her emotions, and her almost school-girl curiosity to his past made his heart feel more at ease. While he may not want to share the specifics of what happened he knew that it was okay to let her in on at least something. He still did not want to get into the fact that he'd been married, or even that he was a father. Especially this early on, it almost seemed like he would be possibly jinxing any potential for something later on if he gave full disclosure now.

"It didn't, and it's taken me two years to even get back on the dating scene. And that in itself has been a trial. All the blind dates my friends and family have been setting me up on have been insane. So that's kind of why this whole experience, hanging out with you has been nice for me. To actually have an intelligent conversation with someone of the opposite sex that doesn't revolve around superficial things is a nice change of pace for me."

She smiled at him for a moment, their eyes connecting at that moment. The chemistry between them that she had described as palpable to Becca was back in full force. Apparently someone had hurt him very much in his past and she felt extreme empathy for that. Then again she figured almost anyone would be able to empathize. Getting hurt romantically was all a part of the human experience now wasn't it? However there was something different in his eyes, something mysterious as to what exactly his specific situation had entailed. She decided at that moment not to press the issue and let him come out with it in his own time figuring that would be the best course of action for him. "So...you haven't dated for two years?"

"No I haven't..."

"So the last time you had sex was...?"

"A little over two years ago...just before it ended."

"Two years?!" She marveled almost astonished at his monk like celibacy. "It's only been six months for me and it's been excruciating...How do you do it?"

Nick shrugged, "I've been too busy with my life and career to deal with any sort of intimacy with a woman I suppose."

"But don't you miss it? Sometimes you just crave contact...to touch and be touched..." She said her face showing the thoughts beneath the surface. He snickered slightly at her openness. He definitely did miss the intimacy and feeling of warmth and satisfaction that come afterwards but at the same time he knew that his life was more important that some stupid one night stand. He'd find it hard to have casual sex with a girl that meant nothing to him and then go home to his daughter's faces and face them. After all ever woman had a father somewhere and in another time in his life he'd be completely up for anything that this bachelorhood held for him but the process of becoming a husband and a father had changed him so completely.

"I miss it yeah, I'd be crazy to say that I don't. But just there are more important things in life that I've dealt with in the meantime that pushed that part of myself aside." He replied glossing effortlessly over the grieving process he'd gone through and the fact that he was indeed a single parent.

She looked at him studying his face once more and smiled. "I think I'm kind of crushing on you right now..." She admitted making him blush slightly and grin back at her. It had been a long time since any girl had ever expressed that she was crushing on him and wasn't holding a copy of Tiger Beat or the Enquirer with his picture plastered all over it. Yeah, definitely the most interesting girl I've ever encountered... He thought to himself smiling at her.

---

    Nick sighed into her mouth as she tangled her fingers into his hair. For what was the past hour and a half they'd spent on the couch of Angel's condo, making out like teenagers in the back of a car at lover's lane.  The day they'd spent together again was even more enjoyable than the first. They'd talked, walked around town a bit and had decided on renting movies and vegging in front of the television ordering in Thai food for dinner. The situation had started out casual enough. Both lounging on the couch exchanging banter about the movie they had been watching, but it soon escalated, a grazing of their hands here. Then he'd pulled her to sit next to him his arm around her shoulders as they made ridiculous commentary about the plotline, characters, anything to keep the conversation from heading down the road they knew it was going to eventually. Inevitable silence had grown over them and Marie had soon turned to him and had been the aggressor for once gently, almost hesitantly pressing her lips to his. And now that lip lock had sparked something between them, almost lowering their inhibitions completely.

    He held her sides in front of him resisting pulling her body into his lap. He knew if he did so he wouldn't be able to hide how much his body was reacting from her touch, and not just the obvious physical manifestation either. His pulse was racing and he wondered it she could feel it as one hand gently glided over his neck. He wanted her, that he knew was for certain but at the same time, he didn't want to complicate things between them by moving too fast too soon. He'd come to enjoy just being around her, their personalities among many other things meshing perfectly to make anytime time spent in each other's presence a welcome joy he hadn't known in a long time.

    Marie scooted herself closer but felt his arms tense slightly in hesitation and made her stop breaking the kiss looking at him in curiosity. "Is everything all right?" She asked breathlessly unable to keep their mouths much more than just a few inches apart. It was like a crazy magnetic pull almost she thought. It made her stomach flutter, her breathing ragged and labored.

    "Just...I like you...a lot and I just don't want to...push..." Nick replied gathering his thoughts as best as he could. He couldn't quite place his finger on what was clouding his judgment so much. He knew that it was her to a point, maybe even two years of self-imposed sexual repression as well but whatever it was he didn't want it to stop. At the same time though, he didn't want to make a rash decision that he would regret later.

    She gave him a warm smile her eyes darting between his eyes and his mouth. "You're not pushing...believe me...I want this." She said as he grinned their lips meeting again with renewed fervor. This time he pulled her towards him and she moved her legs around him crossing her calves around his back, as the kisses between them grew more and more intense. He laid her down on the sofa one hand firmly on her hip and the other moving over her shoulder and down her arm before going to her waist.

He felt himself begin to lose the internal struggle within himself. He was torn between what his body and heart were screaming at him to do and what his mind and conscience were saying. However the voice of his mind was slowly wavering, his mind becoming more and more clouded by her simple intoxicating scent. Just then across from them on the coffee table, where their two cell phones were situated, his cell phone began to ring. Mistaking it for her own she grabbed it looking at the caller id seeing 'Joanna'. She blushed, "Sorry it's yours I didn't...." She began as he sat up slightly and took the phone from her dismissing her apology, knowing it wasn't necessary.

He answered it quickly and his face changed from flustered desire to a furrowed brow of concern. He moved away from her momentarily making her look down at herself consciously. Livie...Joanna...Marie...Busy guy... She thought to herself figuring that she was slowly becoming just another notch on his bedpost. Maybe after all he was lying about not being with anyone for two years. It was a great line after all, play the pitiful jilted lover and get tons of pity sex from unknowing women. She shook her head at herself and sighed not willing to go there. She didn't want to sully the few good days they had by her obsessive need to analyze every second to have some hidden meaning when she didn't even know the full story.

"What happened?" He asked as he listened on the other end. "Okay... Where are you?" Another pause. She watched him as he stood going over to where his wallet and keys were. "Don't do anything I'll be there soon. Thanks for calling." He said before ringing off. He sighed and looked over at Marie who'd changed her position to sit on the couch, a worried expression on her face. "I'm sorry...I have an emergency..." He stated getting her to look at him.

"Oh..." She said standing placing her hands in her back pocket and walking over to him. She immediately felt stupid for questioning him if only in her mind. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked hoping that she could do something to help him out.

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her taking a large breath. "Just sit tight here. I don't know if I'll make it back actually..." He paused looking at his watch, "I probably won't...can we see each other tomorrow?" He asked wondering, hoping even.

She broke away from him and nodded. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and see him again. She knew that letting herself go against her better judgment despite her own concerns and fears was probably not the best course of action. But she couldn't deny the way she felt in the moment, and had to follow that, as if by some strange compulsion to do so was compelling her. He smiled and kissed her sweetly but quickly then walked out of the apartment. She closed the door behind him and leaned against it sighing loudly as she felt all of the emotions hit her at once. She didn't want to admit it, and knew she would probably pay for it later but one thing was certain...she was falling for him...hard and fast.

---

Nick rushed through the hospital emergency room stopping at the charge nurse's desk. "Name?"

"I'm here to see Joanna Carter...she's my daughter..." He said simply as the woman gave him a look. He was worried sick about her. He didn't know exactly what had happened only that she was playing and had gotten hurt.

The woman smiled at him sympathetically and clicked through the digital charts on her computer screen. "She just got back from X-ray about 20 minutes ago and is in triage 6." She replied as he nodded his gratitude and took off around the corner.

He found the room quickly seeing Aaron standing outside of it. "Dude what are you...?"

"I was with her when it happened. I kind of showed her how to jump off the swings and she fell kind of weird. I don't think it's more than just a sprain." He said making Nick's eyes bulge and nostrils flare in anger.

"You what?!" He exclaimed quietly as possible. "How on earth did you decide that would be a responsible thing to do?"

"She's fine...go and see for yourself man. She's totally okay." Aaron assured and Nick took a breath and walked in seeing her small body sitting on the gurney. He smiled at her as he saw her look over to him.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed happy to see him. He looked around the room seeing his in-laws, Livie was curled up against her grandfather fast asleep; exhaustion had overtaken her not long before Nick had arrived.

Nick came over to the bed and leaned down pressing his lips to the top of Jo's head. "Are you okay? Your Uncle told me all about what happened...What made you decide to jump off the swings?"

She shrugged and sighed, "I don't know..." She replied in typical five-year-old fashion. He sighed and hugged her as he sat next to her on the gurney holding her. He saw what he presumed was the doctor come into the room and sighed.

"You must be her father?" He nodded in the affirmative and the doctor smiled. "She's only got a severe sprain of her wrist, as long as she doesn't put too much weight on it, it should heal in a couple of weeks. Alternate ice and heat to keep swelling at a minimum I wouldn't wrap it either, that will actually prohibit any healing." Nick sighed as he took it all in his mind not really all that there. He looked around afterwards getting her discharged and on her way back to her grandparents' house

"But Daddy can't I go home with you?" She asked as he buckled her into her booster seat. He wanted to take her home and tuck her into bed more than almost anything in the world but he knew that she should finish up the week with them. If he always let her come home whenever she felt homesick or was afraid he knew she'd never really grow to be the self-sufficient woman he knew she was going to be one day. And even though it seemed insignificant now he knew that it was the best course of action.

Nick sighed and kissed her forehead. "Sweetie I want you to have fun at your grandparents for the last few days you're there, and then it'll be Christmas. Besides if I take you home whose Liv going to play with tomorrow?" He grinned as she seemed to accept his answer and kissed her goodnight. He turned to Meredith who hugged him. "Make sure she takes it easy." He requested making Meredith grin at him. He watched them leave as he and Aaron then went to their cars.

"Dude, you seem different. Normally you would have been raging for hours about this..." Aaron stated as they reached the cars parked about 20 feet from each other. He studied the look on his face almost sedate in a way. "Did you get laid?"

Nick snickered and shrugged as he finished the distance to his car. "Almost..."

Aaron's eyes bulged making Nick crack up in laughter. "Are you fucking shitting me? Was it with the girl I hooked you up with, you know the red-head with the rack?" He asked making Nick pound his hand lightly against the hood of his car.

"No she was a disaster. Let's just say Angel hooked us up...she's nice. I think you've met her once...she designed your birthday cake a couple years ago." He said finally being able to reign in his laughter. He definitely needed the laughter at the moment. He'd been so worried about his daughter, but now that she was going to be okay he felt a weight lift off of him for the time being and then Aaron's reaction to his almost copulation was just the proverbial icing on the cake.

"Marie? As in NYC cake lady Marie? Oh you're just fucking with me now...she's in LA?"

"Yeah house-sitting for our dear sister. Thanks for telling me to go over and feed the dogs. That's how I met her." He explained much to Aaron's amusement.

"So that's where you're headed right now? Back to finish what you started...?"

"Actually I don't think I should...I told her I'd see her tomorrow and I don't want to come off desperate or anything. I mean hell she knows I've gone two years without sex...I'm pretty sure she knows the first time out is going to be a little short..."

Aaron guffawed at him and sighed. "Nick you're my brother and I love you man...but please for once think with your dick and not your head okay? Just go back there, shag your brains out and then dish all the details to me, you know like you used to back before..." He trailed off giving Nick a knowing glance. "You know you want to man..." He cajoled making Nick laugh and shrug him off bidding him farewell for the night.

---

Marie sighed as she lathered up her arms with her lotion, getting ready to go to bed, alone yet again. She thought about him, what he was doing if everything was okay with his emergency. She cursed under her breath slightly figuring that she'd ask him about it tomorrow when she saw him. Everything was happening so fast, although it could have happened faster. She could have slept with him after that first day and completely ruined everything, cheapening it by being easy.

In a way she was kind of grateful for their interruptions when they were getting somewhere. It allowed them both to take a step back, at least on her end and decide that yeah she really did want this to happen. Even if it only ended up being a simple casual affair it would be an experience. An adventure even, something she'd been longing for longer than she could remember. She made her way down into the living room smiling at Romeo and Jada who were curled up on the couch together both looking over at her as she had made her entrance. She sighed hearing the teapot go off on the stove. She pulled it off the heat and poured herself a mug putting in her favorite tea, Chamomile.

Just as she disposed of the bag there was a knock at the door. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she made her way over to the door looking out the peep hole stopping for a moment smiling to herself as she opened the door seeing Nick on the other side leaning on the door frame. "Hi...."

"Hi..." He said back mirroring her greeting. He looked at her, wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a black spaghetti strap tank top, her hair up in a messy bun exposing her neck and shoulders to him.

"I didn't think you'd be here until tomorrow...is everything all right?" She asked genuine concern showing on her face. It surprised him that she was concerned for him, about his situation, hoping that everything turned out all right when she didn't even know the story, who's emergency it really was or that it was him being the concerned parent he was.

"Neither did I, yeah everything's fine actually..." He replied thinking for a moment at how he was so glad that his daughter was okay, that it was really a very minor accident when it could have been so much worse. It made his decision to come back to her that night seem to make even more sense than what his brother had put into simple crude words for him. He wanted this; she wanted this...so why couldn't they? They were consenting adults after all. He took a breath smelling the vanilla orchid and cherry blossom scent of her lotion wafting towards him and smiled lightly at her.

"So then what are you doing here?" She asked giving him a sideways glance. She knew exactly why he was there. And the thought of it made a thrill run through her sending chills down her spine.

He smirked playfully at her his eyes roaming her face and neck. "I don't know what am I doing here?" He asked flirtatiously but clandestinely kept a completely straight face, as if to challenge her to make the first move.

She smiled one hand on the door as the other, instinctually reached for him wrapping around the back of his neck pulling him into a fevered kiss as she yanked him into the condo, slamming the door behind them both, her cup of tea on the counter completely forgotten in the heat of the moment between them.

Chapter Eleven: Evergreen

    Marie messed up...she knew that. More than knew that...she'd spent the better half of the morning replaying the events in her head over and over. Just as she was beginning to really behind to fall for him the whole bit with the paparazzi happens and throws a huge chink in her chain. She freaked out, she knew that she shouldn't have but she couldn't help it. He swooped into her life, just as she was trying to make  a change and he makes her feel all these amazing things, passion, desire, and maybe even the beginnings of love. No, she didn't want to consider that she might be falling head over heels for someone she barely knew.

    Handling the paparazzi was going to be a big issue for them. Especially if she followed her thoughts through to conclusion. It scared the living hell out of her how much potential he had. She loved talking with him, a big plus, he made her laugh which was an even bigger one. Add to it the fact that the chemistry between them was undeniable and you had almost a Malakoff cocktail brewing that was just waiting to explode with them left in the aftermath, together or separated that she couldn't see far enough to determine. But she didn't care, either he made her feel like...well he just made her feel and that was the most unnerving part of their whirlwind... Could she really say relationship? Were they even to a point where this thing that was happening between them could be justified as a relationship? They had all the elements there, great times together, great conversation... fantastic sex which was mind blowing to connect with someone on just so many levels. But then again did she even really know him? Intimately yes, she could describe every second of their physical encounter and also she discerned his personality very quickly but there was something he was keeping from her. Something he wanted to tell her but somehow couldn't bring himself to just yet.

    He said it himself, there were so many things he needed to tell her, needed to explain to her and not just about the photographers and things like that. She wondered what those things really could be. It was times like these she really needed her best friend more than anything. She'd called Becca three times leaving her messages and hadn't gotten a reply back yet. She figured that Becca was probably busy running things and just didn't have time to answer.

    She sighed and picked up her blackberry dialing Angel's number. Maybe she could give her some insight into her brother's head. She listened to it ring and then pick up. "Hey Ang it's Marie." She announced stating the obvious of course Angel would know it was Marie calling since she had caller id.

    "Hey Mar...what's up? How's LA treating you?" She asked happily as she sat in front of the large mirror her Bluetooth earpiece in place so that her stylist could do her makeup easily without the physical interruption of the phone. She hadn't heard from Nick or Marie lately and wondered what had happened on their day out together. She hoped that Nick had been cordial to her friend if anything but to make a good impression on her of the city she called home.

    "LA is interesting for sure. But that's not why I called..." She said figuring cutting to the chase would be the best thing she could do in this situation. It was maddening to think she was indeed going to her friend for advice on Nick, who just happened to be her big brother. When Angel had suggested she come out to LA in the first place, did she intend on the two of them to meet? Did she think they'd be good together? Or was it just a simple coincidence of fate?

    "Okay..." Angel replied slowly waving off her stylist for the time being. "So talk to me about it...what's on your mind?" She asked completely intrigued now. Maybe something had indeed happened for them. She had to admit her original intention was not to set them up at all. However, if it happened that they hit it off and something came of it wouldn't that be a cause for celebration? She adored Marie, knew she was definitely more than worthy for her older brother, to whom she was extremely protective of.

    Marie swallowed and leaned back against the headboard. "Well...you know how I met your brother right?" She began continuing when she heard Angel's affirmative reply. "Okay so...we've hung out every day since...it's been fantastic and he's amazing...but we went out to dinner last night and we kind of got bombarded by photographers. He was really apologetic about the entire thing but at the same time I'm freaked...I don't think I could handle that type of scrutiny...and then he tells me that he's got so many things he still needs to tell me about himself and his past with relationships and...."

    "And you're maxi-wiggin' out. It's okay really...I think he probably gets that. He's pretty perceptive more than he lets on. But okay what has he said about his past? Like give me specifics here..." She asked not wanting to overstep her bounds as a sister and tattle tell on her brother.

    "His last relationship was two years ago, ended with him completely broken and sad and he's only now gotten back into the dating scene. He explained that the last time he had sex was also two years before, and we umm...sort of did it twice." She explained back to Angel practically hearing her jaw drop at her admission.

    "Okay it is completely true that he's not had sex for a long time and his last relationship did end two years ago. All of that is the truth he just hasn't gone into direct detail of what happened has he? Like how it ended? How serious it was and such?" Angel asked wanting to know exactly how much information he had disclosed that way she wouldn't end up spilling the beans before he was comfortable enough to do things himself.

    "No he didn't go into any of that. I didn't really expect him to either I mean if he's just now moving on then I figured I'd let him opening up in his own time. But what about the other women? I mean he's got to be seeing other people right? I've seen the names on the caller-id on his phone. What other explanation is there?" She replied making Angel chuckle at her. She was really clueless to the real reason behind those calls. Angel automatically knew it was her adorable nieces with their oh so impeccable timing that were to blame for the suspicion.

    Angel wished she could tell Marie that really she had nothing to worry about but at the chance of making her brother very angry with her she decided to hint at the obvious reasons to why Nick had other females calling him often. "Believe me you will feel completely stupid for thinking like that when he sits you down and tells you. I suggest you go over there, today, tonight, whenever and talk to him. His address is in my desktop computer and get him to open up to you. The only other women he's seen in the past few months has been a string of blind dates that have all turned out to be completely horrible." Angel replied.

    Marie gasped, but that still didn't explain the calls...She knew she had to give him the benefit of the doubt now more than ever. "You really think I should go over there?" She asked knowing that it was probably going to be quite a bold move but at the same time, she wanted to see him. Needed to, after all it was Christmas Eve and he was probably spending the holiday alone.

    "Yes, go over there and talk it out...I mean seriously honey I won't tell him your coming but you like him right?" Angel asked reminding her that there was indeed an intense connection that couldn't be denied and she needed to follow it no matter what.

    "Yeah...I think I might be falling for him..." She admitted cringing at the own cliché in her words. Angel gasped a little then smiled. It was definitely a good thing she sent Marie out to LA after all. Maybe they both were on the way to finding some measure of happiness that she'd hoped for even though was turning out completely different than she had expected.

---

    Nick sighed as he made his way out of the house that morning on his way to pick up his daughters from their stay at their grandparents. He thought about them for much of the night but kept finding his thoughts drifting back to Marie, then to Anna and then Marie again. He couldn't help it...he knew for a fact he was really falling hard. He finally admitted it to himself when he'd gotten home the night before. The fact that she'd freaked out about the paparazzi scared him to the core and hurt him. He loathed himself and what he was at times. And that was when Anna had come to his mind. She'd taught him to be okay with himself...to find some measure of comfort in who he was and what he did finding the balance between the man and the musician.

    He tried comparing the two women. Thinking about the differences and similarities between their personalities. They were alike in that they were smart, beautiful, funny and good people but at the same time he realized he couldn't compare them at all. And that realization came to him as he thought of the morning before the night Anna had died.

    "Come on baby...stay home..." He said his big blue eyes wide and pleading. He didn't want her to go to her classes that day...or really any day at all. He hated spending time away from her and the time she had to spend away from the girls. She rolled her eyes at him smirking as she buttoned her shirt looking over her shoulder at how he was laying on the bed, shirtless in only a pair of boxers. He was really trying to get her to stay home wasn't he?
    
"Nick come on... I have to go to school I'm in the last semester...you know what that means." Anna shot back making Nick roll his eyes and sigh. "I know you hate that I have to spend all this time in class and studying and you're left to take care of everything here at home but seriously babe, just think about how great it's going to be when it's over?" She reminded as she left a knee on the bed.

    Nick took the opportunity and grabbed it pulling her over to him laying her on ‘.
top of him making her squeal at him. "Still I'd rather spend the day in bed. I mean the girls are at Aaron's for the day and I really want to spend the day in bed with my wife... Is that really so much to ask?" He replied making her grin, kiss him quickly and get up.

    "It is when I have midterms coming up. I promise after the girls go to bed tonight you can have me any way you want...but I have to go to school okay?" She retorted making him sigh and she smirked bidding him farewell telling him that she loved him. He mirrored the sentiment and sighed laying on the bed.

    He smiled at the memory, she was always so determined to do the right thing. To not only be the dutiful wife and mother but also a student who never missed a class. He had loved Anna that was certain...but he realized more than anything now that the feelings he was developing for Marie were cutting him much, much deeper than anything he ever felt for Anna. He supposed that the deep love and respect he'd had for his late wife had grown, really out of obligation. Sure he'd married her and loved her before hand but he'd only truly committed himself fully to being a husband when Joanna was born. Seeing her for the first time, then seeing Anna holding her, beaming with love and pride had made him realize his feelings and made him that much more committed to his family.

    Marie on the other hand, after just a week of knowing each other he was already falling hard, fast and couldn't possibly stop it, nor did he want to. Something about her had him completely hooked and he just couldn't place his finger on it just yet. It irked him to not really know how to compare Anna and Marie. Superficially they were similar, but on a deeper level as far as the connection he had with Anna and the one he was developing with Marie. Sure how he felt had similarities to both of them on the surface but overall they were so starkly different.

He pulled in front of the house seeing that Jo was playing with Livie, teaching her how to dribble a basketball. It made him laugh at how Jo really tried to be like Anna, always teaching someone something. He pulled his truck to a stop and came out both girls smiling at him as he came toward them. "What's this? Are you two too old enough to hug your old man?"

Both girls ran to him as he knelt down hugging them both tightly to him. He broke away for a moment seeing Meredith had come out with the girls' two small bags and was walking them over to the truck he took them over getting them situated in their booster seats. He gave Meredith a hug thanking for taking care of the girls for him and to give his affections to Ted as well. "Are we going home daddy?" Livie asked as he buckled her in and watched as Jo did her own.

He marveled at how independent his eldest child was becoming. It scared him that maybe she was trying to grow up too fast and he definitely didn't want that. He wanted his children to remain as innocent and carefree as long as possible. He knew the dangers of the world all too well himself and longed all the time for the days when life was so simple and easy instead of complicated, and difficult. "Yeah baby we're going home..." He said with a grin as he climbed into the driver's side and began on the drive home.

---

    Nick sighed as he clicked away on his laptop finalizing some documents before sending them back to Juliette his publicist. Now that his documents were done and he had the girls watching a movie since they'd finished their place and bake Christmas cookies he'd gotten for them he found himself bored. He looked down on the floor seeing his daughters splayed out on their stomachs watching their movie intently. Getting an idea he opened his web browser to a search engine and typed:

Marie De Luca, NYC

    He hovered the cursor over the search button and sighed looking up and around the room. Did he really want to do this? It wasn't like he was doing anything wrong but at the same time what if he realized that she wasn't all that good for him it would shatter the image he was desperately trying to keep going. Whatever it was, he pressed the button figuring he needed to know about her. His eyes widened as the first hit came upon her bakery's home page. He clicked on the link and grinned seeing the website pop up, Marie in her chef coat, poised to draw intricate detail with her piping bag. He looked around the site reading the mission statement, hours of operation and then something caught his eye...an order form. He could have some of the goodies made at the shop sent anywhere in the world. Hmmm interesting...He thought as he bookmarked the page.

    Meanwhile outside Marie walked up the walkway to Nick's house. She liked the house, it was a two-story Mediterranean style home with Ivy sprawled along much of the front wall. She held her large brown bag with her, filled with everything to make him some Christmas fettuccini. She straightened her outfit, a simple pale yellow cotton sundress and a short sleeve unbuttoned cream-colored sweater over it. Her hair hung down in soft waves and she wore low-heeled sandals to match her dress.

    It was slightly chilly outside in the late evening air but she felt fine having had lived through some terrible blizzards that had hit the east coast in her life time, this was almost like summer weather to her. She took a breath feeling confident to apologize for the freak out she'd had that both defied her heart and all rational logic. She had cursed herself over and over for not being able to anticipate the reaction of the paparazzi or at least guard herself against what had occurred. Her initial dismay about having to walk alone was silly really, she hated her subconscious to tell her that having to walk alone should hurt her. It was stupid really when she thought about it and fully intended on explaining her actions and hopefully they could move past her brief bout of insecurity.

     Lightly she rapped on the door straightening herself out as she heard someone coming to the door. Nick opened it a surprised look on his face as he saw her standing there, looking stunning in just a simple sundress and sweater. "Hi..." She said simply biting her bottom lip, and it was really almost his undoing.

     He swallowed hard and looked over his shoulder seeing that his daughters were still watching their movie. He glanced to her again and grinned. "Hi...umm not that I'm not glad to see you but how did you get my address?"

     "Angel told me where to find you...I wanted to come over and apologize for my behavior. I don't understand why I acted the way I did and I hoped I could give you a peace offering and make you some dinner. After all it is Christmas Eve and no one should be alone on a holiday." She said hearing a crash behind him then he looked over his shoulder nervously holding the door to his body to shield her from seeing anything into the house. Suddenly the realization dawned on her, he wasn't alone after all. "Oh...you're not alone are you?" She said feeling embarrassed and stupid for coming over at all.

    "No you're right I'm not alone..." He said admittedly, then suddenly the door moved from his grip and a small light brown haired girl with hazel eyes appeared next to him tugging on his shirttail.

    "Daddy who's at the door?" She asked looking up at him with a curious glance then over to Marie and she smiled nervously almost a little shy to see a girl on her father's doorstep when she hadn't really been around a female that wasn't a teacher or a relative in quite some time.

    Marie's eyes widened as she glanced between the two of them. Nick looked nervous almost fearful of her reaction. Marie's face took on a look of pure shock. He was a father? That was the big secret he was keeping from her? "Daddy?" She mouthed almost unable to comprehend what she had just witnessed in front of her.
 

Chapter Twenty-Two: Revelry

     Everybody shout what's the big idea?

     "Hey! What's the big idea?!"

      Imagination movers are music to your ears. We're music to your ears! We're the guys who like to figure things out. What?

     "We love to figure things out!"

     You need some help just give us a shout.

     "Hey, movers won't you help us out!"

     Marie grimaced as she heard the loud music and singing from somewhere outside her haze of sleep. Two little voices shrieking the lyrics back at the music aggravated her slight hangover. True she'd only had a couple of drinks, three to be exact. But since she hadn't had anything else with them they of course had given her just a small migraine this morning. She grimaced even more as she heard the girls continuing to sing along with the loud song. She opened one eye, seeing both of them sitting on the bed, the bright midday light streaming in through the windows behind them.

     She heard the shower running in the next room and knew Nick must be in the shower, that would be the only logical explanation as to why the girls were getting away with waking her. Not that she completely minded. She was happy to see them. However at the same time it was rather uncomfortable to have them there while she lay in the bed she shared with their father, in only his button down shirt from the night before. She grinned watching the girls while laying still as before. Just looking at their innocent smooth faces as they watched their show in awe.

     Livie turned then seeing Marie grinning at them. "Marie! You're awake!"

     "Yes, I believe I found a new alarm clock." She replied pointing in the direction of the television. She sat up a little keeping the duvet wrapped around her hips. "Tell me what this show is all about."

     She listened to the girls clamor about their show and she smiled. It made her happy to see them so at ease and animated in her presence.

     "Marie why are you wearing Daddy's shirt?" Joanna asked with a sly grin on her face.

     Marie chuckled, "Well I asked and he said he would let me borrow it yesterday. Is that okay?"

     "Yeah, it looks comfy." Livie chimed in with a grin only to turn her face back to the television.

     "It is."

     A few moments later Nick came walking out of the bathroom a towel wrapped securely around his waist and another smaller one he was running through his hair. "Hey you two, I thought I said not to disturb Marie." He said giving them a reproving look.

     "We couldn't find the remote to the TV in the other room." Joanna reasoned giving her father a guilty look.

     He looked around them to see Marie grinning at them her hair looking like a mess of loose curls. "All right I'll find the remote, you two out to the living room so Marie can shower and get changed too." He ordered and the girls went with a groan. They had gotten comfortable watching their show in the bedroom and didn't want to move. He smirked and found the remote in the cabinet where hotels normally put the electronic equipment and flipped on the television for them before heading back into the room. "I'll be out in a few minutes and we'll get some breakfast okay?"

     "Yay!" Both girls shrieked as he closed the door. He shook his head muttering to himself so low that not even Marie could understand what he was saying.

     He looked at her then standing on the side of the bed, in just his shirt and smiled. "I have to admit, I love the way my clothes hang on you."

     She smirked and rolled her eyes smoothing her hands through her hair, her fingers quickly getting tangled. "Ugh, this is going to take me forever to untangle."

     Nick smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist as she walked past him stopping her. She looked up at him and arched one eyebrow. He looked like he was going to say something. She figured he was probably going to say how he felt again. Reaffirming his feelings towards her. However he didn't. He reigned himself in and simply channeled it all into a kiss. She smiled as his mouth met hers remembering the night before. How intimate it had been between them.

     When he broke the kiss Marie placed her hand at his jaw and grinned. "You sir, are one dangerous creature."

     Nick grinned and moved over to his suitcases. "Too bad we're not really alone, I'd join you." He remarked as Marie disappeared in the bathroom.

     "Well another time then." She replied sticking her head out of the door for a moment before tossing him the shirt she'd been wearing. Nick rolled his eyes and groaned as he began to dress for the day. He smiled as he pulled on his clothing. It was completely uncanny the strange sense of balance that was coming into his life as of late. He was most certainly head over heels for Marie. The intensity of what he felt for her could be construed as nothing else.

     He knew that she must feel something for him. He was patient; that it might take her longer to get to where he was and he was more than willing to wait her out. How she handled herself, with his friends, his children, the paparazzi and how impressed she was with seeing him do his job. More and more it was becoming glaringly obvious about how perfectly she fit into his lifestyle her personality able to mesh with every aspect of his life. He wondered for a brief moment that if they decided to try for a long distance relationship, if things would work out just as well.

     He had to talk to her about it first of course. That was the most imperative portion to getting them to do anything together once she returned home. It would be very painful, this he knew, if she didn't want that. Obviously she felt something for him. Something just as intense as what he was feeling but what if it wasn't enough for her?

     What if? What if she didn't love him? And that was the reason why she was being so quiet about her feelings, trying to spare his at the same time. He didn't think she would be the type of person to lie or hide herself from him. She was an open book. That much he could tell. She couldn't lie to him, not when her eyes gave away all her secrets. But as far as her feelings for him. He was just as confused as she was.  And that thought troubled him more than he would like to admit.

     He supposed he would ask her this week. He remembered that he had a gift arriving for her tomorrow at the condo. A thoughtful reminder of home. Maybe she would come over after and thank him. Or even a phone call would suffice. Although he definitely didn't want to have that particular conversation over the phone. Something so personal as to what they were going to do when she goes home shouldn't be done with the magic of technology. He had just a little over two weeks to come up with a plan, a solution to get her alone, to talk this out and present his side of things. The fact that the girls were going back to school tomorrow seemed to be the best thing possible.

     For when he would not be working he would be in fact alone. That would ultimately be, he felt, the best time to bring things up. While his daughters are in school and they could air out everything and find some solution to this madness he felt surrounding her impending departure.

---

    "Marie will you read to me?" Livie asked putting on her best pleading face.

    Marie looked over to Nick who was just finishing up his emails on his blackberry. He grinned and nodded. "Sure sweets, what would you like me to read?"

    "This one." Livie replied handing her a book.

    Marie's eyes lit up at the title and she grinned at Livie. "Where the Wild Things Are? I love this book!" She replied showing her enthusiasm to Livie at her excellent choice in literature. "Okay let's get started missy." Marie said lifting the armrest between them, settling the book between their laps and wrapping her arm gingerly around Livie's shoulders. She sighed contentedly as she opened the book and smiled at the first line, beginning to read it aloud to Livie. "The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind..."

    She continued to read changing her voice to fit each character as seamlessly as she possibly could. She was still amazed at how time certainly flew whenever she was with the girls and Nick. They had breakfast together, the four of them, then did a little bit of shopping together down the strip before their evening flight back home to Los Angeles.

    Home.

    A silly concept really. In all her years in New York she hadn't really felt so at ease as she did in LA. But she surmised that really it wasn't so much of the change in location but the relationships she was building. She was quickly beginning to realize that anyplace felt like home when she was with Nick. A definitely disconcerting feeling to be sure. They'd known each other such a short amount of time. Surely she couldn't be in love with him? She knew she loved his personality, his quirks, and even his flaws. Most of all she loved his daughters. They were her friends. Cherished friends who she wanted to see live, grow, and mature into the remarkable women she knew they would be one day.

    But to fall in love, to feel like she was there already, it scared the living hell out of her.

    She was falling in love, that she was sure of in fact in this moment, these past few days she'd realized that she was more than just falling. She was in love with him, rather deeply and profoundly. But what she didn't understand was that how she couldn't quite get how he unearthed these emotions in her. Emotions she thought wouldn't come out again. Not since she'd so idiotically fallen for Derek once upon a time. Yet at the same time this was completely different from how she'd felt about Derek. There were too many facets this time, so many different emotions all laced together so intricately around her heart that she thought she might suffocate from the intensity. Suffocation she freely welcomed and was almost ecstatic to endure.

    But one thing she couldn't wrap her head around quite yet is what they were going to do with her leaving. She didn't want to stop all communication but at the same time long distance relationships were hard to maintain. Was there some sort of middle ground they could maintain while furthering their relationship though thousands of miles apart from one another?

    How would that effect Jo and Livie? Would they resent her? Could they possibly even understand that she was going to have to leave them at some point in the very near future? The thought of leaving them, of hurting any one of them, Jo, Livie or most importantly Nick made her sick to her core. The pain of it, to see it on their faces would surely break her.

    Just as she was finishing up the book she noticed that Livie had changed to lay her head in her lap and was quietly asleep. Marie quietly closed the book setting it on the side of her as she played with Livie's light blonde waves. The images of Jo and Livie sleeping peacefully were two of the most angelic faces she'd ever seen in her life.

    Nick watched in complete awe as Marie lovingly watched over his youngest daughter. He grinned and leaned over taking her hand in his. Marie looked over at him smiling. "She's beautiful."

    "Yeah I can't believe how lucky I got with the two of them sometimes. They're exactly the kind of daughters you hope for you know?"

    "Yeah, they're fantastic." Marie whispered returning her attention to the sleeping child in her lap her voice was low, soft almost reverent as she praised them. She sighed again before looking out the window of the airplane wondering just exactly she was going to do with everything in her mind. But for the moment she wasn't going to worry.

---

    It was a little while later, about three hours that they were finally pulling up to Nick's house. Marie had forgone the chance to go back to the condo alone. She didn't know what she would do if left alone for too long. Being alone in her own thoughts was something she didn't want to do. Not that she didn't have a multitude of things to mull over in her solitude, she just didn't want to, not when she had the opportunity of spending more time with Nick.

    "I think they're exhausted." Nick remarked smirking as he pulled into the driveway. They looked over their shoulders seeing both girls were unceremoniously passed out in their booster seats. "Grab Jo, let's get these two sleepy heads up to their beds." Nick requested.

    Marie nodded and helped him gather up the girls and smiled slightly when Jo clung to her as she carried her through the house to her bed. She turned on the night-light in the room knowing that she enjoyed the play of musical notes on the wall just as much as Livie did. Nick placed Livie in her bed kissing her forehead then stopped and watched Marie as she placed Joanna in her bed brushing a few loose strands from her face.

    Quickly he excused himself down to the truck to get the rest of the luggage leaving Marie with the girls. Marie grinned as she looked at Joanna's face. She leaned over and placed a kiss to Joanna's temple and smiled. "Goodnight sweetheart." She whispered.

    Joanna smiled in her half consciousness and rolled over, "Night Mommy." She whispered taking Marie completely off guard. Even though she knew that Joanna was probably half dreaming, thinking of her real mother and not Marie, she couldn't escape the thrill that shot up her spine at the sentiment.

    Forcibly numb, shocked even, Marie made her way down the stairs and out to the patio. Nick joined her moments later wrapping his arms around her and placing a soft kiss to her shoulder. "Is there anyway I can entice you to stay tonight?" He asked with a devilish tone to his voice.

    Marie pushed away from him then and shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

    "Why not?"

    "Just I think I need to sort some things out I think. I don't know anymore."

    "Care to share? I mean come on you can tell me anything you know."

    Marie looked at the sincerity in his face and sighed. "When I was tucking Jo in. She said ‘night mommy'. And I know that she was thinking of her mother. But it scares the fuck out of me because I liked how it sounded. Even though I know she wasn't talking to me directly."

    Nick's features softened and he grinned a little. Hearing her admit she liked taking on a maternal role with his daughters was almost as good as admittance to her feelings. "Is that bad?"

    "It is when you think about it realistically! I am leaving in a couple of weeks. What do you think this is going to do to them? I can't hurt them. I refuse to. I love them. They're so fantastic and sweet and adorable, just the perfect little girls. I don't know how you're doing it but you are raising two of the most remarkable women I'll ever know. And then there's you. God. Do you even know how much it hurts to feel like this. To love you like this. It's scaring the hell out of me Nick!"

    Without even realizing what she said she sunk down to a lounge chair putting her head in her hands. She hadn't meant to get so heated, so freaked out, so emotional all in the span of five minutes. She felt Nick kneel in front of her pulling her hands away from her face. She looked in his eyes and he grinned. "You're in love with me?"

    "I said that out loud?" He nodded in response and she sighed. "Yeah. I am. I love you. I love them. But what are we going to do? I'm so scared out of my mind. I can't hurt them and it seems like it's exactly what I'm going to do."

    Nick pulled her face to look at him. He grazed his thumbs along her jaw. "Do you think this is any different for me? What makes you think it's any different for me?" He replied before pressing her lips to his. Both of them lost their breath, the electricity between them reaching a fevered pitch. Something they hadn't experienced before with just a kiss. He broke it reluctantly placing feather light kisses to her face. "We have two weeks to figure out what exactly we're going to do when you leave. I love you. And knowing that you love me, well that's really all I need to hear. I am not willing to give this up. To give us up. It's too good, it feels too right to just say it was a fun little vacation fling."

    "I agree."

    "But let's not talk about this now. We will when the time comes, right now I just want us to enjoy the next couple of weeks together while we can. But first I think we should continue this tomorrow. We're both tired and I should take you back to the condo."

    "Can I stay?" She asked as he smiled at her. She didn't have to ask; she knew he'd let her stay forever if she wanted.

    "Of course." Nick replied and pulled her in for another kiss.

(Music from Imagination Movers, and the story quote from Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak)