Chapter One – One in a Million

Alex had always gone there, to the same place, everyday for three years, and every time he had ordered the same thing. A soy milk latté. And every time he had seen the same girl. But he doubt she really saw him.

She had dirty blondish hair, with honey highlights in it, and the most stunning brown eyes he could remember. But she wasn’t happy, he could tell by just looking at her. She kept her eyes downcast, not making eye contact with anyone as she handed them their drinks with half a smile. Once he smiled back at her, but she didn’t see notice. If she did she didn’t make it known, she’d just gone back to pouring the chai latté for the old woman behind him.


“What can I get for you?” The red head asked Alex, she offered him a small smile. He nodded back and lifted up his glasses, reading the menu behind her although he already knew what he was getting.

“One large soy milk latté,” he answered, and glanced behind her to the barista and gave a small smile.

“That’ll be four twenty five,” the red head smiled and Alex nodded, turning his attention to the task at hand. He handed her a five dollar bill and waited for the change.

“Thanks,” he said as she handed him back the usual seventy five cents, which as by ritual he dropped into the Nana jar by the till, and moved towards the bar to wait for his drink.

He stood watching her for a while, as the red headed gave her the order and placed it beside the millions of other orders to be made before his that day. He didn’t mind waiting; in fact he enjoyed it much more than the actual latté itself because it meant he could have five minutes, maybe more to himself, just thinking.

She had just poured a drink, and was just about to serve it, when it occurred for the first time in months. A tall, well built man, who Alex knew to be the manager of the small coffee shop, walked in from the back and made his way towards her.

“Brit?” the manager called, and placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump a little. “Phone call. AGAIN.”

He seemed frustrated, and Alex knew why. It had happened a few months before, and it used to happen a lot. She would be working, usually right as Alex had ordered his drink, and there would be a phone call for her.

“Thanks,” she nodded, and called out the order before placing it on the bar and taking a step back. “I’ll be right there.”

She wiped her hands on her apron, and readjusted her ponytail before glancing around and tapping a nearby co-worker on the shoulder.

“Emmy, can you take over for a while? I got a…” she began and her co-worker nodded, rolling her eyes slightly.

“Yeah I know. You got a phone call,” Emmy replied and slipped on an apron. “Go on girl.”

“Thanks. I’ll only be a few minutes,” she smiled slightly, but Alex noticed she didn’t want to leave as she headed out to the back, following the manager by a foot.

She disappeared into the back, and Alex pulled himself back from his thoughts, wondering what to do now. He conceded to checking his messages and calling the office to check if there had been any messages for him.

As he pulled out his phone, he noticed a blinking light; a notice that a new message had just come through. He flipped it open and scrolled down the screen, groaning inwardly. The phone rang in his hand just as he was about to answer the message.

“Yes?” he asked, and laughed when he heard the voice on the other end.

“Dude where the hell are you? The meeting started like five minutes ago.” It was his co-worker, and long time best friend Howard Dorough, although most people called him Howie or D.

“Yeah I know,” Alex replied and rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ll be there in a bit. Give me ten minutes ok?”

“Ten minutes?” Howie laughed on the other end and Alex rolled his eyes, “What happened down there?”

“Nothing happened,” Alex answered and leaned back onto the balls of his feet, “Just a slight…” He stopped mid-sentence and listened. It was there again, that sound he hadn’t heard in a while. It was the sound of someone crying softly in the distance.

“Hello? Alex? Are you still with me?” Howie’s voice cut into his concentration. Alex shook his head and turned his attention back to his friend.

“Yeah,” he said and strained his free ear once more, but the crying had stopped. “Just thought I heard something.”

“God you’re going senile,” Howie laughed and Alex laughed with him. Maybe he was, maybe he was imagining things.

“Maybe,” Alex agreed and cast his eyes back to the back of the coffee shop where the back door had just opened. The manger stepped out, closely followed by her. “Look D, I’ll be there in a bit ok? Just stall, I’ll be there in a few.”

“A few? Hello I can’t do that, these are high powered execs who…” Howie began but Alex wasn’t paying attention as she walked back up to the bar and thanked her friend, before working on Alex’s drink.

“Thanks D. You’re a great friend. I gotta go see ya in a bit. Bye.” He hung up before Howie could say anything more to him about how badly he needed to be in the office and watched her. She discreetly tried to wipe at her eyes as she finished off his drink.

“One large soy milk latté!” she called out and Alex grinned, taking a step forward to retrieve his drink.

“Thanks,” he smiled at her, but once again she didn’t notice. She just turned her back on him, and begun making the next drink. He sighed, wondering if she would ever notice that someone smiled at her, thanking her for her efforts.

He took a step back and capped his drink, before heading out the door. He slipped his phone back into his bag and pushed open the door, looking back at her one last time as he always did. Again, as he watched her hand an older man his coffee he wondered if there would be anyway he could help her from being so miserable, and if he could help himself as well.


Britney had worked there for most of her adult life, ever since she’d started college. She remembered the first day she walked into the small coffee shop for her first day, it was so busy that no one seemed to notice she was there. But he noticed her, and now she wished he hadn’t.

He always ordered the usual. Soy milk latté. He would walk in at exactly five to eight every morning with a smile on his face and he’d always drop of seventy five cents into the Nana jar after he’d ordered his drink.

She didn’t know what it was about him, but it was
something. Maybe it was the fact that every time she looked up she’d see him, staring at her intently. It made her blush, she knew it, and everyone knew it. Even her best friend Emmy knew it. And no one, not even herself seemed to know why.

That morning, she’d walked into work and slipped on her apron and at five to eight on the dot he walked in. She made sure she had her back turned to him when he made his order.

“One large soy milk latté.” His voice was loud and clear, as if he wanted her to know. Then came the ritual clink of change, rattling into the jar and before she knew it she had a new order up on the line.

She turned her attention back on what she was doing, pouring the steamed milk into a cup and picking it up to place it on to the bar Just as she was about to place it down, she heard the back room door open and heavy footsteps walk towards her.

“Brit?” her manager, Joey, called, before placing a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump a little. “Phone call. AGAIN.”

She sighed, knowing why his voice sounded so harsh even though he didn’t mean it to come out that way.

“Thanks,” she nodded, “One London fog, no foam!” She placed the drink on the bar and took a step back. “I’ll be right there.”

She wiped her hands on her apron, and readjusted her ponytail before glancing around and tapping Emmy, who stood nearby doing merely nothing, on the shoulder.

“Emmy, can you take over for a while? I got a…” she began causing Emmy to roll her eyes, this happened a lot. Well it hadn’t happened recently, but it used to be a regular occurrence before Joey managed to stop it.

“Yeah I know. You got a phone call,” Emmy replied and slipped on an apron. “Go on girl.”

“Thanks. I’ll only be a few minutes,” she smiled slightly, but she didn’t want to leave as she headed out to the back, following slightly in Joey’s wake. She entered the back room with Joey, where he motioned to the telephone on the wall.

“You got five minutes then I need you back out there ok?” he asked and gave her a fatherly smile. She nodded and watched him leave, before picking up the receiver, placing it to her ear.

“Hello?” she asked, although she knew who it was.

“Brit?” His voice rang in her ears, he sounded annoyed. She sighed and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes.

“What is it Zeke?” she asked and took out her ponytail, “I’m working.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped back at her, causing her to jump slightly and re-open her eyes. “You really think I would call you if I had a choice?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked him, wondering if he really meant what he said. “You wouldn’t choose to call me?”

“Who cares what it means?” he asked snippily and sighed loudly and dramatically, “All I’m saying is that you wouldn’t be my first choice if it wasn’t important.”

“So you just called me to tell me how unimportant I am to you?” she asked, and shook her head.

“No!” he called, his voice rising and falling just in one beat. “I called to…”

“I can’t do this right now Zeke,” she barley whispered cutting him off mid-sentence and sitting down on the nearby stool, “I have to work.”

“I know you do alright?” he replied angrily, “But we need to talk about the wedding.”

“What about it?” she asked, mentally running through everything in her mind. They had finalized everything last week when she’d ordered the flowers.

“I think we should reschedule it.” His answer was short, and it seemed as if this was his final word. He mouth dropped open as she heard the words.

“What?” she asked and shook her head even though he couldn’t see her.

“It’s just that something came up with work that I can’t get out of…” he explained calmly, and she rubbed her eyes.

“We can’t do that Zeke! You can’t do this to me!” she was practically yelling at him in a whisper. “I can’t just… This took months to plan and…”

“I know you can do it Brit,” he cut her off, not really wanting to hear her words as she spoke them, “Call me once everything’s finalized.” He hung up, before she could really say anything. She looked at the phone in shock, wondering if she had just imagined things. She couldn’t have.

He wanted her to re-book and reschedule everything. All her months of planning the perfect day went down the drain, her hopes of everything fading slowly before her eyes. It wasn’t until Joey knocked on the door and walked back into the room that she’d realized she’d been crying.

“Brit? Are you okay?” Joey asked, there was concern in his eyes. She stood up quickly, rubbing away the tears furiously aware her mascara was all over her face.

“Yeah,” she replied hoarsely and glanced quickly in the mirror, she looked like a mess. “I just wanna wash up real quick.”

“Okay,” Joey looked uncertain but dropped the subject knowing it would only upset her more. He offered her a smile and she turned her back to him, splashing water on her face before turning around again.

“Ok, I’m ready to get back to work,” she said trying to give him a small smile. Joey nodded and pushed open the back door, stepping out, waiting for her to follow. She did and walked up to the bar. “Thanks Emmy.”

She took over the orders from Emmy, noticing as she did so it was a Soy milk latté. His soy milk latté. She sighed inwardly, pushing the previous minutes events out of her mind and concentrating on the drink.

She quickly finished it, and as she did so she became aware of her eyes getting wet once more, and tried discreetly to wipe at her eyes without anyone noticing. But as she turned to announce the drink, he had stepped closer to the bar and was watching her intently.

“One soy milk latté!” she called, trying to sound clear as she spoke.

“Thanks,” he said taking a step forward and giving her a smile. She could feel the blush coming back, so quickly turned her back to him. Making sure to start on the next drink and try to ignore the tingling of the door as he left the shop.

Chapter 2- Piece of Me.


Alex walked into the office, he was fifteen minutes later than usual and he sighed, placing his cup down at his desk before shrugging off his coat and checking the messages that his secretary, Emily, had taken down for him.

There were five messages in total. One from his mother reminding him of their weekly Saturday night dinner, one from the bank informing him a recent withdrawal he had made, two were work related and the fifth was from Taylor.

“Alex.” He sighed as he slung his jacket onto the coat stand and took a seat at his desk, turning on his computer. “Alex?”

“Yes Em?” He asked as Emily poked her head through the door with a weary smile, indicating something was up.

“Good you’re back. Sorry to bother you,” she answered and cast her eyes to the phone, “But you have a call. Line One. It’s Taylor.”

“Thank you Em,” Alex smiled at her and she nodded in sympathy before disappearing behind the door and shutting it quietly behind her. Alex shook his head, and reached for his drink, taking a large sip before picking up the phone and bracing himself.

“Taylor.” His voice was monotone, he saw no reason to sound happy to hear from her, because frankly he wasn’t.

“Alex,” her voice drawled in his ears. Her rich southern accent, which she only used around him, came into play. “How have you been?”

“What do you want Taylor?’ he asked, getting straight to the point, he didn’t want to have small talk with her. He didn’t need it.

“I really missed you last night,” she replied with a sigh, “Where’d you go? One minute you were there and the next you weren’t.”

“I had work the next day,” he told her, and tapped in his password on the computer, “Besides you didn’t look as if you wanted me there.”

“Of course I wanted you there!” She said, he couldn’t tell if she was just saying this to make him feel better or not but it had happened too many times before. “Just like I want you here now.”

“Taylor,” he sighed and sat back up, rubbing his forehead, “I’m working. You know I can’t leave work.”

“Well then what about tonight then?” she asked, she was obviously pleading with him. He sighed and thought about it for a moment.

“I don’t know Taylor…” he began but she cut him off, berating him.

“Please?” she begged, and Taylor never begged. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, “I’ll make it worth your while. How about I cook you dinner?”

“Fine,” Alex said giving in, because it was rare that Taylor would ever cook for anyone, especially him and he hadn’t had a good meal in days. “I’ll be there right after work.”

“Great!” she practically squealed into his ear and hung up before they could make any more plans. Alex sighed and replaced the phone, rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to the computer screen.

He didn’t know why he kept doing this, going back to her after she really didn’t give him the respect he deserved. Every time it happened he would go back and it would end up the same way, they’d be fighting and he’d threaten to leave. Then she’d do this, woo him back with promises of food. But really there wasn’t any food involved, usually there was just sex. And he knew it.

“Alex?” Alex glanced up from the screen and saw his friend poking his head through the door. “Can I come in?”

“Hey D,” he replied and nodded, motioning for his friend to come in. “How’s it going?”

“Don’t you mean how did the meeting go?” Howie asked, there was a bit of a twinkle in his eye as he said this and stepped into the office.

“Shit the meeting,” Alex muttered, shaking his head remembering the meeting he had forgotten. “I totally forgot.”

“That’s ok,” Howie smiled and sat down opposite Alex, “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“I won’t,” Alex promised and reached for his drink, “How did it go anyways, if it did go that is.”

Howie shrugged and leaned back in his chair, “It went. We got the contract.”

“We did?” Alex’s eyes went wide, they had been waiting on this contract for months now, he was surprised they even got it with all the competition out there. “How in hell did we do that?”

“Well, Percy’s not as shitty as everyone thinks,” Howie smiled even more and ran a hand through his short curly hair, “He managed to pull a presentation together at the last minute when you didn’t show. Managed to scrape us the deal, but they really want to see your work, so you got a presentation with them early next week.”

“Ok, just leave the info with Emily and I’ll make sure I’m prepared ok?” Alex asked and Howie nodded, mentally taking down what Alex had just said before leaning forward.

“You better be,” Howie stated and smiled at his friend, “What’s up with you anyways? Lately you’ve been off. Everything ok with you and Taylor?” Alex groaned at the mention of her name and shook his head, Howie knew him all too well.

“Not really,” he grumbled and placed the cup back down, “She wants me to come over tonight.” Howie laughed and shook his head at his friend.

“And let me guess you said yes?” Howie asked and when Alex refused to respond, just sink his head into his hands, Howie laughed harder, “Dude she has you by the balls. Why don’t you just say no?”

“Because,” Alex began and really thought about it. Howie had a point, why didn’t he just say no? “Because I need… I mean I haven’t been with a woman in a long time and well Taylor is… Taylor is…”

“Taylor is a woman,” Howie finished for him and shook his head standing up, “Dude, she may be a woman but she’s also a bitch. Jesus Alex, do yourself a favor ok? Next time she asks you over tell her one word. NO. It not that hard, come on now say it with me…”

Alex laughed as his friend flapped his hands around trying to get him to repeat the word no and shook his head, “You’re crazy.”

“I’m not crazy,” Howie grinned and headed for the door. He reached it and turned to Alex, “Taylor’s crazy. I’ll see you at lunch ok?”

“Ok,” Alex nodded and smiled as Howie nodded back and headed out the door, closing the door behind him. His friend had a point, Taylor was crazy.


As soon as he left, and she was sure of it, Britney turned back around and handed the next customer their drink before letting out a long breath and wiping her hands on her apron.

“Thank God,” she muttered to herself, she wasn’t sure if she could hold her composure around him for much longer; he seemed to know a lot more about her than she did.

“What happened?” Emmy’s voice wiped through her ear, causing her to turn her head sharply and face her friend.

“Nothing,” Britney lied, she had been doing it a lot lately and had it perfected so much so that a lot of people couldn’t tell she was lying. But Emmy was a different case.

“Yeah right,” Emmy whispered back and poured out the last drink, “I know you too well to know you’re lying.” Britney sighed and shook her head, taking the drink from Emmy’s grasp and placing it on the bar.

“One London fog!” she called and turned her attention back to her friend, “Fine Zeke wants to reschedule the wedding. One London fog!”

“What?” Emmy asked, she had stopped what she was doing and placed her hands on her hips, looking at Britney. “What do you mean he wants to reschedule?”

“He said something came up at work that he couldn’t change,” Britney shrugged and leaned forward to grab the order slip from Emmy’s fingers.

“Something came up?” Emmy repeated and shook her head in disbelief finally getting out of her shocked state, “Does he not realize how much work it’s going to be to reschedule?”

“I’m sure he does he’s just…” Britney began, wondering why she was defending him and began making the order.

“It’s just that he’s an obnoxious prick who doesn’t think about anyone but himself,” Emmy concluded with a huff, she had never really gotten along with Zeke and Britney had never known why.

“He’s not that bad,” Britney answered, faking a small laugh.

“Oh no he is,” Emmy argued her point and looked at Britney, “He keeps on doing this Brit. Making you do everything just to keep this relationship afloat. Tell me again why you’re marrying him?”

“Because, even though you may not like him, he’s a good guy,” Britney replied and ran a hand through her hair, before pulling it into a ponytail and concentrating on the drink she was making, “He’s promised to take care of me.”

“Yeah with his money,” Emmy snorted and shook her head again. “But that’s not all that matters Brit.”

“I know it isn’t,” Britney began and cast a glance at Emmy, “But come on Emmy I’m twenty six years old I can’t wait my whole life for…”

“For love?” Emmy interrupted and reached under the counter for more milk and handing it to Britney, “Yes you can Brit. You should. I mean look at me ok? I’m twenty eight and unmarried. But do you see me in a hurry to get married? No, because I’m not about to jump on the marriage band wagon for some guy who flashes money in my face with promises of taking care of me. We can take care of ourselves we’re not babies; we need people who love us not people who take care of us. There’s a difference.”

“Maybe for you there is,” Britney argued and poured the drink into a foam cup before lifting it up, “But for me it’s not. Zeke cares for me and he loves me too, he just has a hard time showing it. One large chai latté with skimmed milk!”

Emmy rolled her eyes and allowed Britney to place the drink on the bar before responding.

“Of course he does,” Emmy replied sarcastically
and pulled over another cup to begin the next order. Britney rolled her eyes and Emmy sighed, “Alright, I’ll stop. So you want me to help?”

“Would you?” Britney asked hopefully and Emmy nodded, “I would really appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Emmy shrugged and reached over to get the milk, “Just tell me who I need to call.”


Alex knew the moment he entered Taylor’s home that there was no going back. He also knew she wasn’t planning on making him dinner either. It was an instinct he had managed to pick up, for the past three years it had steadily grown into something more like a talent.

“Taylor?” he called, and heard his voice echo through the house as he slipped off his shoes and jacket. There was no response. “Taylor? I’m here. Look, sorry I’m late there was just…” His voice trailed off as he entered the kitchen, his eyes widening at the sight before him.

“Alex,” Taylor drawled with her thick Southern accent from the table where she sat in a short, black, silk robe. She sat on the edge of the table, her gazelle like legs elegantly crossed over one another, showing too much skin, and her jet black hair swept up into a messy bun.

“Wow.” Was all he could manage to reply, and forced his feet forward, cursing himself mentally as he did so. He knew his reaction was wrong, he was letting her get the best of him again, but somehow his body had a mind of his own. “You look… you look good.”

She smirked and slowly slid off the table, as she did so allowing her robe to rise a bit further up her legs so you could see exactly what was underneath, and walked towards him, her black heels clinking on the hard wood floor.

“So do you,” she replied, and as she reached him her arms fell loosely around his neck.

Alex found himself smiling and for a moment closed his eyes as their bodies touched, causing all sense of reason to fly out the window as he took in the sweet scent of her pomegranate perfume. He found his arms entangling themselves around her and pulling her even closer as her lips brushed his earlobe. Alex found himself groaning when she traced the tattoo at the nape his neck with her fingertips, which she knew was a soft spot for him, and his knees began to get weak. Her lips finally made their way to his and her right leg raised itself ever so lightly so that it was just hooked around his waist.

His lips pressed themselves harder onto hers; causing her to moan eagerly and he felt her finger nails digging into his neck. He winced in pain, and pulled apart looking at her.

“Sorry,” she murmured with a smile and went in for another kiss which he eagerly accepted.

The whole time, at the back of his mind, as they moved closer and closer to the bedroom removing all remnants of clothing, Alex knew what he was doing was wrong. It was wrong for him and he knew he should stop it now before things got out of control, but as her skin touched his all those rational thoughts were no longer in control of his mind.


The first thing Britney saw when she returned home that evening was the dress. The prefect black dress laying on the kitchen table, still in the small silver box it was wrapped into. The next thing she saw was Zeke, dressed in a dark blue suit, his blonde hair brushed back like it usually was, standing next to it.

“Brit baby,” he smiled at her as she entered the kitchen and placed her bag down on the table next to the silver box.

“Zeke,” she replied looking at the box and running her fingertips over the bow that held it together. “What’s this?”

“A present,” he answered, and reached behind him for two glasses of wine, handing her one. “Are you not going to ask me how my day went?”

She sighed and took the glass from him reluctantly, “Are you going to ask me about mine?”

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his wine before continuing, “How was your day?”

“Well after that stunt you pulled…” she began placing her glass down but he cut her off, placing down his own glass and stepping in front of her.

“I got a promotion today!” he stated, clearly uninterested about what she had to say and bursting at the seams with excitement over something he had seen coming a few months ago.

“You did?” she asked and looked up at him, “That’s great Zeke but we still need…”

“I was going to tell you at dinner tonight but I just couldn’t wait!” he exclaimed and wrapped her in his arms and kissed her on the lips. “Aren’t you excited?” He had noticed her unexcitement as she pulled away from him slowly.

“Of course I’m excited for you Zeke but we really need to talk…” she tried again but he managed to cut her off.

“Brit baby,” he grinned and grabbed both her hands, “Do you know what this means? It means we can move the wedding to winter just like we planned!”

“To winter?” she asked and looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. Was he crazy? “Winter is the coldest time of year here Zeke. People are not going to want to come down for winter.”

“Oh they’ll come baby,” Zeke replied, sounding way too confident for his own good, “They’ll come because they love us.”

“No,” she shook her head and glared at him, “No they won’t Zeke. My parents don’t have the money to change their tickets just because you think it’s a good idea to get married when it’s freezing. I won’t allow them to do that.”

“Fine then they don’t come to the wedding,” he shrugged as if it were no big deal and took a step back from her. She glared at him in shock at the suggestion. “What?”

“They have to come!” she protested and shook her head, “Zeke they’re the only family I’ve got.”

“I know that baby,” Zeke stated and rolled his eyes, but she doubted he really did. “But sometimes you have to make sacrifices in life.”

“Having my parents not being at my wedding is not a sacrifice Zeke,” she snapped, stamping her foot on the floor. “It’s just you doing what you have to, to get your way, as usual.”

“What do you mean my way?” he asked and glanced at her with a snobbish look “I’m doing this for you.”

“For me?” she asked, her voice was rising now. She had never really been so angry with him. “This is not for me. This is for you. If it were for me you would know how much having my parents there means to me, which is why we chose a summer wedding in the first place.”

“Alright,” he sighed in defeat, clearly getting bored with the conversation and wanting her to be happy with him again. He reached over and grabbed the silver box that had been lying on the table the whole time and handed it to her. “We won’t change the date. Now go get ready or we’ll be late.”

He smiled at her, a dazzling smile and she just looked at him in shock, wondering how he could so easily forget the subject at the drop of a hat.

“Fine,” she sighed, giving up and taking the box from him, picking up her bag as she did so. “I’ll be ready in half an hour.”

Chapter Three- Treat Me Right.

Morning came and went just like that and for Alex it went far too slowly. He sat opposite her, staring intently down into his cereal bowl trying not to make eye contact with her.

“So will you come out tonight?” she asked, and took a sip of her coffee watching him as he managed to gulp down two spoonfuls of cornflakes. He wiped away the milk that had dribbled onto his chin with the back of his hand before gazing up at her and shrugging.

“I don’t think so,” he answered and clinked the spoon into the bowl before slowly standing up.

“Come on,” she said and reached out to grab his wrist. He winced as her nails dug into his skin. “You know you want to.” She smiled up at him, and he reached over, unwrapping her fingers from his wrist and sighing heavily.

“Fine,” he gave in and rubbed on the skin where her fingernails had left bright red marks, almost blending in with the tattoo. “What time?”

“Seven,” she said and leaned back in her chair, raising her left leg up, exposing the skin between her thighs. “So be here by six.”

“Okay,” he nodded but knew she wanted him there by five so she could screw with him, he wondered why he gave into her all the time. “I’ll be here.”

“I know you will,” she smirked at him and placed her hand on the table, waiting for him to respond. He grunted and tugged on his jacket.

“I gotta get to work. See you at six,” he said and turned to leave, knowing that for once he probably would make it there at six instead of five.


“Come on,” she muttered under her breath and rested her head against the steering wheel in frustration before allowing her hand to turn the key in the ignition once more. “Come on God damit.”

She waited for a few moments, but the car made no noise, not even a squeak. She sighed in frustration and pulled the key out of the ignition, leaning her head back against the seat for a moment.

“Fine,” she told the car and reached over to pull the door open, “I guess I’ll be taking the bus, again.”

She opened the door fully and stepped out of the car, grabbing her brown canvas bag as she did so and closed the door behind her. She locked the car and readjusted the strap on her shoulder.

The car was a beat down old red Camero that was given to her by her father, passed on to him by his father. It wasn’t much but at least it was something, even though it didn’t work half the time.

She sighed and redid her ponytail before beginning the long walk to the bus stop that was a few blocks away. It was a cold day, colder than it usually was at this time of year, and as the wind blew it caused her to pull her jacket closer to her body and take in a deep breath.

It was long before the sound of her feet on the gravel was mixed with the sound of tyres running a meter or so behind her. She slowed her walk down as the car pulled up beside her, and slowly pulled to a stop.

“Brit baby get in the car.” She rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice and stopped walking, turning to face his silver Porche that had been parked up beside her beat down red Camero.

“Why?” she asked, wondering why all of a sudden he was feeling so generous because he never offered her a ride to work, she placed her hands on her hips and waited for an answer.

“Because we still need to talk,” he replied and leaned a bit more out the window to get a better view of her.

“About what?” she wanted to know and pulled up the strap of her bag, “We’ve talked enough for today.”

“How can you say that?” he asked, he was faking hurt in his voice and she shook her head.

“Because a few minutes ago you were telling me how you were done talking,” she retorted and gave him a cold glare. “Now if you don’t mind I need to go or else I’ll miss my bus.” She turned around and began walking down the hill to her bus stop, causing Zeke to re-start his car and follow behind her slowly.

“Get in the car Britney,” he called, rolling down his window slightly so she could hear him better, she continued walking, not turning to face him.

“No Zeke,” she replied, but as she did so she heard the sound of a bus in the distance as her bus pulled up to the curb then pulled away again. She groaned inwardly, but continued walking.

“Look,” Zeke reasoned, also hearing the bus pulling away, “You’ve already missed your bus and if you wait for the next one you’re gonna be late. So why don’t you…” She stopped half way down the hill and sighed, pushing her hair off her face before speaking.

“Fine,” she gave in and waited for him to pull the car to a stop beside her before climbing in, figuring she would rather endure the twenty minute drive to work with Zeke then be late again. He smiled at her as she strapped her self in, and reached over to touch her leg gently, not noticing when she flinched ever so slightly.

"So..." he began and she knew he didn't know what to say. She smiled wearily and pushed his hand off her knee gently before gazing out the window. "Something wrong?"

She sighed deeply and turned to face him, "Don't ask me that. You know what's wrong."

"Look I know you don't want to change the date but..." he began but she cut him off, shaking her head.

"No it's fine," she gave in and placed her bag on the floor, "It's just a lot to ask from you."

"I'm really sorry," Zeke replied and she eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he meant it. "It's just that you know what the firm is like, they don't want to give me the time off for the honeymoon so I thought it's be better if we changed the date so we could actually go on a honeymoon."

"But I thought you got a promotion," Britney pointed out, catching him off guard. "I thought you were the new CEO which means you can take time off whenever you want. Isn't that what you said last night?"

"Yes..." he began slowly trying to retrace his steps, "But there's a new project coming up that needs my total supervision. I can't just up and leave baby. You know that."

"Is your job more important Zeke?" she asked finally getting tired of him talking in circles trying to avoid the real issue, "Am I just a trophy wife you can show of to the boys?"

"What?" he asked in shock, clearly not understanding why she was coming to the conclusions she was. "Of course not, what ever gave you that crazy idea?"

"It's not a crazy idea Zeke," she replied quietly and looked back out the window to avoid his gaze, "I just feel that sometimes..."

"I know and I'm sorry," he said as they pulled up to a stop light, he reached over and placed a hand under her chin causing her to look at him, "I've just been real busy with work that's all. I didn't think it was affecting you."

"Well it is," she told him and he gave her a sad smile.

"Well I promise to make sure I notice more often," he lied and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She sighed as he turned back to focus on the road, knowing he didn't really mean what he said.

They sat in silence for a while, and about fifteen minutes later they pulled up in front of the small coffee shop where Britney worked. Zeke pulled the car to a stop, and as soon as he did Britney opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Late again," she sighed and clambered out of the car as Zeke reached across and grabbed her hand causing her to look at him.

"So I'll see you tonight?" Zeke asked her, and she
sighed with a shrug.

"I guess," she said and retrieved her bag before pulling away from him and heading towards the shop. She reached the doors and reached over to open them, as she did so they opened and a familiar face stepped out. Soy milk Latté in hand.

"Hey," he smiled at her as he noticed her standing there and she smiled back shyly at him.

"Hi," she replied but before she could say much more Zeke stepped up behind her, grasping her hand. The familiar stranger nodded, and held the door open for her. "Thanks."

"No problems," he nodded and watched as she took hold of the door so he could let go. He gave her one last smile before disappearing to his car and out of her sight. She sighed and turned back to Zeke.

"What Zeke?" she asked in frustration and glanced over her shoulder where she noticed Joey standing by the till glaring at her. "I'm late for work."

"I know," Zeke smiled and she rolled her eyes at him, "But you forgot something."

"What?" she asked hotly and he leaned towards her.

"My kiss," he stated simply and pecked her lips before quickly letting go of her hand and rushing back to his car to head to work. She sighed in frustration and shook her head, turning around and entering the shop. As she did so she noticed Joey's look and nodded in his direction, one more strike and she'd loose her job.


By six o'clock that night Alex was just about ready to go home and curl up in bed, but he remembered his promise to Taylor, and one thing about him was that he never broke his promises. He sighed as he pulled up outside her house, and rubbed his eyes sleepily, suppressing a yawn before climbing out of the vehicle.

He reached back into the backseat and pulled out his gray jacket and cell phone before closing the doors and locking the car. It wasn't long before he headed towards the main house, walking slowly, hoping it would somehow make the world stop spinning so he could come up with some excuse to leave early that evening.

As he reached the front door, no excuse came to mind and sighing heavily he knocked on the door before letting himself in.

"Taylor?" he called and placed his jacket on the hallway table that stood just two feet from the doorway.

"Alex," Taylor called before stepping out of one of the many doors that led off the hall. Alex felt his breath catch in his throat as she walked towards him, laden in a sapphire colored dress that reached just below her knees and hugged her body tightly. Her hair was held up in a bun, pinned back with opal flowers and she wore four inch silver heels to match. "You're on time."

"As always," he nodded and stepped forward with a fake smile. Taylor smirked back, and reached him, planting a rough kiss on his lips.

"Let's go then," she said and grabbed his hand. He looked at her, wondering why they were leaving so early.

"Now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "I just got here."

"I know," she pouted and looked up with him with puppy dog eyes, "But Kyla just called and said they were getting there early."

"Alright," Alex nodded, not really wanting to argue with her and allowed her to grab her jacket as he grabbed his before they left the house.


Britney would never forget that day, as she arrived home from her shift at the coffee shop something seemed to be different. It wasn't the way things were, as things were always different, it was the way she felt. She left her bag by the front door and walked into the kitchen, smelling nothing but the lemon air freshener Zeke insisted their maid used after vacuuming the apartment on her regular Tuesday visit.

She felt tired and helpless, after the way she had been treated by him that morning she wasn't ready to face him again. It had taken her a while to calm herself down, and when she did she was occupied again by the bustling of disappointed customers that she wasn't used to.

A red light flashed from the corner of her eye as she walked into the room, and she let out a sigh of relief, knowing she would be alone for most of the evening.

"Britney?" His raspy voice, as if he'd been drinking most of his day, filled the room. She felt herself wince. "Where the fuck are you? Every time I call you're not there. I call you at work and they say you're not there. I call you at home and all I get is this damn machine telling me the same thing. You want to talk but it's like you don't even want to listen. Well you know what? I don't want to listen either." CLICK.


Alex took one last sip of his drink and leaned back into his chair, this night was not going as he hoped. Taylor leaned her head back so her long hair fell lusciously over her back as she laughed at something one of her friends told her. He cringed and rolled his eyes, before putting down his glass and slowly standing up, catching her attention.

"Where are you going?" She asked, grabbing his wrist, causing him to wince as her nails dug into him. He pulled away from her slowly and grabbed the jacket behind him.

"I have to get up early," he lied and looked around the table. "Ladies."

"You don't have to go," she told him, but it was more of an order than a request. He shook his head and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Yeah I do," he said and shrugged on his jacket. "I don't think this is working."

"But.." she began and quickly recomposed herself as her friends looked at her questionably. "I don't think so either."

"Ok," he nodded and stood up straight, "You sure?"

"Yeah," she replied notchantly and flipped a strand of hair behind her shoulder before going back to talk to her friends. He shrugged and shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets before slowly turning around and walking away from her for good.


Britney picked up the phone and tried the number again, but it was engaged. She sighed and hung up. She picked up her blue and red purse from the counter before moving slowly into the bedroom, but before she made it fully into the room the phone rang again. She dropped the bag back onto the bed and ran back to get it, but was just a bit too late as it went to voice mail.

"Britney!" Zeke sounded mad, and she cringed. "What the fuck? Stop calling me if you have nothing to say." CLICK.

She sighed and wanted to slam her fist into something but restrained herself, instead she walked over to the fridge and pulled out an unopened bottle of red grape merlot that lay eagerly for her in the fridge.


“So I hear congratulations are in order?” Alex looked up from his laptop and groaned. Howie grinned back at him from his post by the door before making his way into the office.

“How did you find out?” Alex asked, although he already sort of guessed.

“I have my sources,” Howie responded wiggling his eyebrows and sitting down opposite Alex on the vacant chair opposite. “So are we celebrating tonight or what?”

“Or what,” Alex answered and went back to typing up the proposal he was making for the new partners. “I have a hell of a lot of work to catch up on man. Maybe this weekend?”

“Man I don’t get it,” Howie laughed and slapped his hand on the table gently. “You’ve been telling me for ages you can’t stand the girl and when you finally do dump her ass you don’t want to celebrate? What’s up with that?”

“Nothing is up with that,” Alex answered and looked back up at his friend. “Like I said; I just have a lot of work to catch up on.”

“Fine,” Howie grumbled but there was a smile to his voice as he said it, “We’ll celebrate this weekend ok?”

“Fine,” Alex muttered and watched his friend stand up. He didn’t know why but ever since last night he’d had this sinking feeling in his stomach; like he was empty. He knew it was a good thing that Taylor was out of his life but then that meant he had to go back to what he’d been doing before she came into his life; and that was something he wasn’t looking forward to. “Hey D?”

“Yeah?” Howie asked and stopped by the door as he was about to exit.

“About that celebration…” Alex began but Howie cut
him off.

“I’ll be over at your place tonight at eight,” Howie smiled, knowing his friend all to well.

“Thanks,” he answered sheepishly with a smile and Howie laughed before running out of the room for his meeting that was supposed to start five minutes before.


“You’re late!” Joey hollered as Britney skidded into the shop a few minutes past eight. She gave him a sheepish grin and quickly headed to the back to slip on her apron.

“I know,” she called back to him and winced as the head ache from that morning invaded her thoughts. She was never drinking again on a work night.

“What happened Brit?” Joey asked as she pulled on her apron and he looked on from the doorway to the backroom. Britney sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing. Just the same problem,” she muttered and pulled her hair into a tight bun before walking over to him.

“Zeke?” Joey asked and his face went red with anger. Britney smiled and placed a hand on her boss’ shoulder as she walked past him.

“No,” she lied, “The car wouldn’t start. I need to take it to the shop this weekend.”

“You sure?” Joey asked and raised an eyebrow as she walked past him and got to work. She nodded absentmindedly as she pulled down the orders that were piling up.

“Yeah. Positive,” she answered and pulled out a large sized cup from the stack to begin her first drink of the day. “I promise as soon as it’s sorted I won’t be late anymore.” She flashed him a dazzling smile and looked up at the clock.

“Good,” Joey nodded and looked up at the clock as well. Britney blushed and went back to work; noticing as she did so there was no order for a soy milk latté.


Alex hadn’t had his regular soy milk latté that day and it was beginning to show. His secretary, Emily, looked up at him fearfully as stormed past her after his morning meeting.

“Everything alright Alex?” she asked; still a bit fearful as he gave her an angry glare.

“Yeah,” he snapped and stalked past her into his office. He walked into the small room and threw his keys on the desk; letting out a frustrated sigh. “God damn her.”

“God damn who?” Alex looked up and shook his head. Howie had appeared in the doorway and was looking at his friend worriedly.

“Taylor,” he muttered and sat down in the nearest chair. “How did your meeting go?”

“It went,” Howie replied and moved into the room. “What did the wench do now?” Alex flinched at the reference but just shook his head.

“She called during the meeting,” he answered.

“The big meeting with the boss?” Howie asked; obviously shocked. Alex nodded his head and looked at his friend. “Damn.”

“Yeah. Luckily I didn’t get fired,” he muttered and ran a hand over his face before taking in a deep breath. “She wants to get back together.”

“Okay,” Howie nodded and Alex felt something tug at his sleeve. “Get up we’re going to lunch. I’ll tell Emily.”


Britney looked up as the bell above the door clinked and felt her breath catch in her throat as he walked in; accompanied by a shorter man.

“Howie!” Emmy’s voice called from beside her and she looked at her friend. “What are you doing here? I thought you said you had to work?”

“I did but we had an emergency,” the shorter friend, Howie, replied walking over to the till. Britney noticed Emmy grin as she slipped under the counter to get to the other side and greet the man.

“What kind of emergency?” Emmy asked with a giggle as Howie let go of his friend and slipped an arm around her waist, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

“One that needs your famous chicken soup,” he winked at her, “We’ll be over there.”

“Ok,” Emmy nodded and looked at his friend. “Is that two chicken soups or…”

“Yeah two,” Howie nodded, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Emmy smiled and climbed back under the counter to get to the till; punching in the order as Howie moved away with his friend.

“What the hell was that?” Britney asked once the two men were once out of ear shot and she stood close enough to whisper in Emmy’s ear.

“Who that?” Emmy giggled and looked in Howie’s direction. “That is Howie. We met last week at this party…”

“And he knows soy milk latté guy?” Britney interrupted and Emmy gasped; putting a hand over her mouth in shock.

“Oh my god it is him!” she said and looked at Britney in shock. “I guess they must work together or something.”

“Yeah I guess,” Britney agreed as Emmy passed her an order for another drink. “I wonder what the emergency was.”


“Who the hell is that?” Alex asked; looking at Howie then back over to the till.

“That?” Howie asked following his gaze, “That is none of your God damn business.”

“Aw come on man!” Alex sighed and shook his head. “That’s not fair. I tell you all about my fleeting love life and you won’t even give me one clue to yours? Come on now.”

“Fine,” Howie grinned and stole a glance in the other direction. “Her name is Emmy.”

“Go on,” Alex encouraged and Howie shook his head; not wanting to divulge that information to anyone just yet. Not even his best friend. “D…”

“Fine,” Howie said giving in, “And she’s a nice girl I met at this party last week in the Village. Happy?” Alex nodded and Howie groaned. “Good, now let’s get back to the issue at hand…”

“There is no issue,” Alex replied automatically and Howie rolled his eyes.

“Sure there isn’t. Taylor just called n the middle of an important meeting to get back with you,” Howie replied sarcastically and Alex sighed.

“Yeah and I told her to get lost,” Alex replied crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not that stupid.”

“Well…” Howie began but there conversation was cut short as two steaming hot bowls of chicken soup were placed in front of them and Alex smiled; thankful for the distraction.

Chapter Four- Radar.

Alex took in a deep breath and counted to ten; remembering all the steps. His breathing evened and he opened his eyes; running a hand over his face.

“I told you Taylor; no,” he repeated in a voice stronger than the last. He hoped she would get the hint and leave him alone.

“But I thought…” her voice trailed off; it no longer had the familiar aggressiveness to it.

“Well sorry to disappoint,” he replied and looked at his watch; great he would be late for work. “Look I have to go….”

“But can’t we just…” she cut herself off; letting out a deep sigh. “Fine. I’ll see you around Alex.”

“Sure,” he mumbled and closed the phone shut, “In another lifetime.”


Britney let out a small sigh as she entered the house; and held her breath as the sound of soft Latin music hit her ears. She checked her watch and shook her head; it was early, only five o’clock and he didn’t come home till seven at the latest.

“Zeke?” she called out and immediately the music stopped. She let out a long breath and placed her bag on the table nearby.

“Brit is that you baby?” he called; his voice sounding shaky and labored all at once.

“Yeah,” she replied and made her way forward. “What you doing home early?”

“I, uh…” she heard the hesitation in his voice as he struggled to come up with a viable answer. “I had a meeting.”

“At the house?” she asked and entered the kitchen; opening the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Um, yeah,” he called back and she heard footsteps behind her; “They just left.” She heard the front door closing.

“Who was at the door?” she asked; turning around to see him standing in the doorway.

“Nobody,” he lied perfectly and walked up to her; wrapping her up in his arms. He smelt of sweat and alcohol. “I just closed the door behind you. You left it open.”

“Oh,” she answered; she could have sworn it had closed behind her.


Alex looked up and took in another deep breath as he shook his head; he couldn’t believe he was there again. Standing on the same street corner where the pebbles under his feet were more like rocks and the people around him had no idea why he was there.

“Ok,” he muttered to himself and ran a hand through his short hair. “I can do this.” He nodded to himself; giving himself reassurance and stepped towards the rusty brown building ahead of him. He made his way across the street and past the hot dog stand to his left; when he stopped; suddenly cold in his tracks. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can.” He turned slowly and produced a small smile as he came face to face with a man much taller than himself; Kevin Richardson.

“No I can’t Kev,” he muttered and looked down at his feet. The other man smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How long has it been?” Kevin asked Alex; causing him to look up and shrug. “That long huh?”

“Just a few days,” he admitted and shook his head. “I didn’t think it would take her to push me back.”

“Why don’t we go inside and talk?” Kevin asked; although he knew what the answer would be. Alex looked up at him and nodded; it was the reason he’d come here in the first place.

“Alright,” he replied and followed the older man into the building.


“I can’t help it that you’re paranoid.” She glared at him.

“I am not being paranoid Zeke,” Britney replied and held up the offending item for proof. It was then that she saw it; his face rapidly changed color and turned a deep shade of red. He turned away from her; not wanting to catch her eye.

“I thought that was yours,” he answered and fiddled with the knob of the door; he was itching to get out; away from her.

“I’m not a size zero Zeke,” she told him and flung the piece of black and red fabric at him. He stepped aside; allowing the object to fall to the floor by his feet.

“Well then I don’t know where it came from,” he lied and this time he actually allowed his hand to turn the knob.

“Where are you going?” she asked him and placed a hand on her hip. She was angry and he could tell.

“I have to work remember?” he asked her; using the line she used on him so often. His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Now?” she asked and looked at her watch. It was close to ten. He sighed and shook his head.

“There’s this meeting…” he began and she cut him off; looking away from him as she did so.

“Yeah I know,” she told him and turned to face the window. “There’s always a meeting.”


“So?” Kevin looked at Alex with concern and the younger man sighed.

“So I broke up with her and she won’t stop calling me,” Alex finished his story and looked down at his hands, “It’s driving me crazy.”

“Crazy enough to fall of the wagon?” his sponsor asked and he looked at him. He knew the answer, but was afraid to repeat it out loud.

“Yeah,” he muttered and licked his lips. “Crazy enough.”

“And how did you stop yourself from reaching for that one drink?” Kevin asked looking at Alex.

“I counted to ten,” Alex answered automatically. It was a lesson he’s learnt from those few months in rehab. Count to ten and try and control it.

“And did it work?” Kevin asked; wanting to know. Alex looked at the older man and nodded.

“Surprisingly yeah,” he laughed because he’s never actually had to use the technique until then. He was shocked when it’d worked. Kevin smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

“That’s good,” he nodded and stood up slowly, Alex followed suit. “Then that’s all you have to do.”

“But what if it doesn’t work next time?” Alex asked panicked and grabbed Kevin’s arm as he made his way over to the coffee table. Kevin turned to face him and smiled.

“Then you know you’re in shit.”


It was a few days later but the weight of the black and red corset was still on her fingers.

“Why don’t you just leave him?” that was Emmy’s first question when she’d told her about the offending item the next day at work. Britney hadn’t answered, just shrugged her shoulders. She really didn’t know what to say because she didn’t want to leave him. She couldn’t.

Maybe it stemmed from the fact that ever since she was little she’d had a fear of being alone, a fear she tried so desperately not to consume her. So much so that she’d stay with the one man she knew was no good for her. Britney wasn’t stupid; she knew what Zeke was like. She’d lived with it for almost two years; smelling it and seeing it. It had consumed her entire being.

“So did you leave him yet?” Emmy asked as soon as she walked up to the counter; tying her apron securely around her waist. She looked at her friend and shook her head. Emmy sighed and threw her head back. “Damn Brit.”

“What?” Britney asked and turned to face her friend, “It’s not that simple.”

“Yeah it is,” Emmy muttered and Britney could tell they were about to get into a fight. It always happened, and the main instigator would be Zeke.

“It’s not,” Britney repeated firmly. “Look Emmy, I‘ve told you so many times before it’s not that simple ok? Leaving Zeke is just out of the question.”

“Yeah because he has money,” Emmy answered back angrily, “Damit Brit can’t you see it? He’s not in love with you all he wants is some trophy wife to take home to the boys. He wants someone who will let him just walk all over them; someone who’ll just shut up and listen to what ever crap he has to say. And I’m sorry to say this but that’s just not you.”

“I know…” Britney began, knowing her friend was right but not wanting to admit it as her own fears got in the way.

“I don’t think you do,” Emmy responded and gave her hard stare, “Because if you did you wouldn’t have found anything hiding in your bed.”

“Emmy…” Britney began; ready to tell her friend off for announcing her secret to the entire shop.

“What Brit it’s true and you know it,” Emmy answered and crossed her arms over her chest. Britney opened her mouth to respond back but was interrupted by a customer wanting his drink.

“Um, excuse me?” the man’s voice asked. Britney looked over to where the voice had come from; sending daggers his way and almost immediately regretted it. She looked away; her cheeks turning bright red. Emmy rolled her eyes at her.

“Sure,” Emmy nodded, turning back to the customer. “Sorry about that. What can I get you?”



“One soy milk latte.” Alex felt a flush creep up upon his cheeks as Howie’s friend took his order. He felt bad for eavesdropping upon their conversation especially after she’d shot a death defying stare at him but it hadn’t been his fault. He’d been patiently standing there for a few moments; trying to ignore the words that were coming out of her mouth.

“Damit Brit can’t you see it? He’s not in love with you all he wants is some trophy wife to take home to the boys. He wants someone who will let him just walk all over them; someone who’ll just shut up and listen to what ever crap he has to say. And I’m sorry to say this but that’s just not you.”

“I know…” She had a tint of anger and fear in her voice that Alex couldn’t quite place.

“I don’t think you do,” Emmy had responded and gave her hard stare, “Because if you did you wouldn’t have found anything hiding in your bed.”

“That’ll be four twenty five,” Emmy’s voice informed him, cutting through his thoughts. Alex shook his head and nodded; handing over the money. “Here’s your change.”

“Uh, thanks,” Alex smiled at her uneasily and took the change from her; before depositing it in the Nana jar.
He wanted to get out of there as fast as he could, not liking the situation. He felt uncomfortable, not only for himself but for the woman making his drink as well.
Uncomfortable situations always made him uneasy; and it was well known to anyone that knew him that he didn’t like them. He would begin to sweat and the craving would come back; tickling at the back of his throat ever so slightly.

He quickly jumped out of the way; pulling out his phone as he did so and dialing some familiar numbers, waiting for someone to pick up.

“Yes?” Kevin’s gruff voice came over the phone; he wasn’t used to be woken this early.

“Kev?” his voice was hoarse and he nervously looked around him; waiting for his drink.

“Alex? Where are you? Are you okay?” Kevin’s big brother voice asked. His voice had always made Alex feel calmer.

“I’m….. I don’t know,” Alex replied and licked his lips nervously before taking in a deep breath.

“Where are you?” Kevin repeated his question; this time allowing his voice to rise a bit more than necessary.

“Um,” Alex was unsure how to answer; now feeling like a bit of a fool for calling his sponsor this early.

“Alex…” Kevin’s strong voice cut through his thoughts. “Where are you? Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” Alex nodded and let out a little laugh. “I’m at a coffee shop by my office.”

“Okay…” Kevin began unsure of how to take this news and wondering why his aspirant was acting the way he was n just a coffee shop. “Explain what’s going on.”

“I.. I just feel uncomfortable,” Alex responded with a sigh and he heard Kevin’s responsive sigh on the other end. “And I’m scared.”


Britney felt guilty as ever as she handed his drink to him. She could see the look in his eyes; something that was mixed with hurt and anger. She wished she hadn’t given him such an angry glare; after all it wasn’t his fault that he’d heard every word she told Emmy.

“It’s not his fault,” Emmy repeated in her ear and Britney growled; that had to be the third time in the past few minutes she’d said that. Britney watched as he made his way over to a far end table and sat down; surprised because he never sat and drank his coffee.


It only took an hour or so but soon enough Kevin was sitting opposite Alex in the coffee house; staring at him while he sipped on his soy milk latté.

“So is that her?” Kevin asked, looking over to the bar where she stood mixing coffees. Alex followed his gaze and shook his head.

“No that’s not Taylor,” he answered and took a sip of his drink.

“Then…” Kevin began confused.

“I don’t know her name,” he admitted truthfully and looked down at the table. “She’s a friend of a friend of a friend.”

“Is that all?” Kevin asked raising an eyebrow and Alex nodded. “Okay then; what’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Alex replied and looked up at his sponsor, “I’ve just been feeling…. Well like I’m going to fall of the band wagon again.”

“Oh,” Kevin replied; he understood all too well where that came from. This was his third time sober. “We all feel like that.”

“But how do we stop it?” Alex asked. “I mean how do I stop myself from taking that one drink?”

“You just have to remember the twelve steps,” Kevin smiled reassuringly at him. “That’s what I did the last time I had a craving. It helps; trust me.”

Chapter Five- Unmistakable.


Alex woke up with beads of sweat pouring down his forehead, the images of that pure clear liquid he knew wasn’t water, infiltrating his thoughts. He shook his head and wiped away the sweat and looked at the clock. It was six am, a little too early for him to be getting up but these days it wasn’t a new thing.

He climbed into bed and wandered out of the room; roaming the halls of his apartment, unsure of what to do. He knew he had to shower and get ready for work, but something was willing him NOT to. He wondered how it would go down at the office, missing a few hours, maybe even a day or two, of work. They wouldn’t need him; after all the proposals for the next few days were done, and if he needed to he could always ask Howie for his help.

The ringing phone brought his thoughts to a screeching halt.

“Hello?”

“Alexander?” It was his mother. He groaned inwardly and sat on the nearest chair; rubbing his face as he did so.

“Hey mom,” he replied; trying to muster up some sort of façade to let her know he was okay. She always worried about him just by listening to his voice. “It’s early.”

“I know,” she answered and again he looked at the clock. “I was surprised you even picked up the phone. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he lied and fiddled with the cord, “Have an early morning meeting that’s all.”

“Oh,” was all she replied and there was a brief silence. In all his life he’d never had a silence fall into step in their conversations.

“Is everything okay mom?” he asked, finally breaking that barrier.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” she answered a bit too quickly. He shrugged and slowly stood up.

“Because…” he began then stopped; if it was bad news he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t need to hear it. So he just changed the subject. “Never mind. Look I have to go get ready for work.”

“Oh okay…” she answered, she seemed a bit upset. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you kid,” she told him and he smiled and told her he loved her too before quickly hanging up and heading for the shower.


Britney got out of the shower and ran her fingers through the damp locks before pulling the towel once again more securely around her torso. The past few days had been strange, with Zeke and the wedding. She didn’t know if it was even going to happen. The sparkle of her diamond engagement ring stared at her from the corner of the sink and she wondered what it would take to ‘accidently’ knock it down the drain and forget about it.

“Britney?” She sighed; it was all too good to be true. She couldn’t forget about it, not when he was standing right outside the door.

“Yeah?” she called and reached forward to quickly replace the ring on her finger; again her thoughts lingered on the image of it falling down the drain.

“Are you almost done in there?” He sounded angry and she took in a deep breath; trying her hardest not to yell back at him. “You’re making me late. AGAIN.”

“Be out in a minute,” she called back and looked around the room to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything before turning around and opening the door to a very annoyed looking man.

“Finally,” Zeke muttered and pushed past her to get into the bathroom. She wanted to say something about his attitude; to remind him that if he had kept his dick in his pants they wouldn’t be going through this. But just as she opened her mouth he slammed the door in her face.


“Hi Alex.” Emily smiled at him from behind her desk as he walked into the office. He smiled back and clutched the drink in his hand knowing it had been a bad idea to stop on his way to work.

“Um, any calls?” he asked nervously and breathed a sigh of relief when Emily shook her head at him. “Great.. I mean, um, good.”

“Is everything okay?” Emily asked; eying him in concern. He nodded quickly and opened the door that led to the privacy of his office.

“Yeah just, uh, tell anyone who calls that I’m busy ok?” he asked and she smiled at him, still wondering what he was hiding. “I just, uh, don’t feel like being disturbed. A lot of work.”

“Okay,” she nodded and he sighed in relief again, glad she’d brought the lie. “I’ll let them know.”

“Great. See you at lunch,” he told her and quickly stepped into the small office and shutting the door behind him before she could say anything else. He made his way over to his desk; depositing the cup in his hands into the nearby waste basket and sitting down.

He opened up his laptop and turned it on; wanting to just immerse himself in work and try and suppress his bad mood and feelings. But as his eyes wandered over to where the half empty cup of coffee lay in the waste basket he felt that feeling come over him again.

He once again felt bad for the young woman as well as for himself. He shouldn’t have been listening to her conversation; it wasn’t right. But the memory of the way she’d looked at him; as if he’d committed the greatest crime known to man kind haunted his thoughts.

He tried to control his feelings and reached over to the phone to dial the numbers that were etched into his brain. He waited for what seemed like a while; quickly hanging up after there wasn’t an answer. He sighed and rubbed his temples as the computer came to life; asking for his password. He just needed to talk to someone; someone that would answer the phone.

“I thought you were working.” Alex looked up and smiled. As if on cue his prayers had been answered.

“I, uh, I couldn’t find the file,” he lied and closed the laptop so Howie wouldn’t see the turned on computer screen. “Uh, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to see if you’re still up for tonight,” Howie grinned and walked into the office, shutting the door behind him. He noticed Alex’s skeptical look and rephrased his sentence. “I mean you are still coming out tonight right?”

“Uh…” Alex fumbled and quickly looked away from his friend’s gaze; trying to find something, anything, to distract him. “Sure.”

“Alex?” Howie asked; knowing something was up. Alex looked up.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on with you man?” Howie asked and sat himself in the chair opposite Alex; causing the younger man to look at him. “Are you okay? You seem a bit..”

“I’m fine,” Alex automatically replied and cringed. That was the wrong thing to say. He’d slipped back into his old habits.

“No you’re not,” Howie answered immediately catching on to the lie. He had known Alex too long to know when something was up. “You’re not…”

“No of course not,” Alex answered quickly and sighed as Howie raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean it D. I’m not.”

“Then what is it?” Howie asked his friend. “Because the way you’re acting…”

“The cravings have been coming back,” Alex quickly admitted with a sigh of relief glad that he could talk to someone. Howie’s eyes went wide at the confession; suddenly very worried for his friend.

“They did? When?” he immediately asked and Alex nodded his head.

“A few days ago, after Tay and I broke up.” He decided not to bring up the little fact about the coffee shop otherwise he knew his friend would go to all lengths to stop him from going there again.

“Dear God Alex,” Howie exclaimed and shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? Does Kevin know?”

“I called him a few times…” Alex’s voice trailed off remembering how only a few minutes ago Kevin wasn’t picking up his phone.

“You know every time you get a craving you should call him right?” Howie asked; full concern etched over his Latin features. Alex looked up and nodded. “Alex this is serious we don’t want you falling into deep waters again.”

“I know,” Alex said and let out a ragged breath. “I just… I tried calling him this morning and he didn’t pick up.”

“Oh,” Howie replied and frowned. It wasn’t like Kevin to not pick up a call from one of his clients. “That’s strange.”

“Yeah it is,” Alex agreed and looked at his friend. “I’ll try him again later.”

“Uh, okay,” Howie nodded but was unsure if Kevin would pick up. He’d known Kevin for a few years now and was the one who suggested him to Alex when things started to go wrong. “You want me to call him too? Make sure he knows you need him?”

“No,” Alex replied and shook his head. That was the last thing he needed. His best friend calling his sponsor on his behalf. It would make him look, well desperate, like he couldn’t get on his own two feet. “I’m sure he knows.”

“Okay,” Howie nodded and stood up, he still sounded unsure. Alex gave him a smile of reassurance just to make him feel better. “But if you still need me to…”

“Yeah I know,” Alex responded, “I’ll let ya know.”

“Good,” Howie smiled and made his way to the door. “See you at lunch?”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed and watched Howie give him one last look before he stepped out of the room; worry etched all over his face.


“God I feel so guilty,” Britney stated as she and Emmy sat down for their well deserved lunch break; the images of the young man still haunting her thoughts.

“Why? Did you finally tell Zeke to get a life?” Emmy asked looking at her expectantly.

“No not really…” Britney began and Emmy let out a large groan.

“I can’t believe you!” Emmy said in aspiration and took a bite of her sandwich; chewing and swallowing before she spoke. “Why are you still with him? After what he did?”

“Because…” Britney replied and sighed; hanging her head. “You know why.”

“Yeah I do,” Emmy snorted and crossed her arms over her chest; Britney was like a little sister to her and it hurt her to see her friend going through so much yet refusing to do anything about it when she knew she could. “But I think you’re better then that.”

“I know,” Britney sighed and looked into her cup of tomato soup. “You’ve said that before.”

“And I’m saying it again. Damn Brit…” Emmy began but stopped as a though occurred to her. “Do you want me to tell him?”

“What?” Britney asked; suddenly looking up, her features full of shock at the absurdity of Emmy’s offer. “No! I mean, you know what will happen if you do that.”

“Yeah but Brit,” Emmy said her tone softening just a bit as she leaned forward and grasped the younger woman’s hand. “In the long run it’s for the best.”

“Yeah I know but…” Britney sighed knowing her friend was right. She needed to get out of the relationship; it was beginning to work its way under her skin and it was beginning to show.

“Time to get back to work girls,” Joey stated, interrupting their conversation as he entered the break room and gave them a small smile. “You okay Brit?”

“Yeah she’s fine,” Emmy replied for her and stood up. Britney could hear the cold, hurt anger in her voice and winced. She didn’t mean to upset her friend. “We’ll be out in a sec.”

“Okay then,” Joey answered and raised an eyebrow at Emmy as if to ask if she was sure. Emmy nodded and glanced down at her younger friend before looking back at the manager. “I’ll see you out there.”

Once Joey had left Emmy sat back down and looked at Britney.

“Look. I know it’s hard for you to accept but I’m tired of bullshitting around you ok? This getting out of hand. I mean look at you, you look like someone who’s mother just died not someone who’s about to get married,” Emmy stated bluntly. “So you need to do something about it.”

“I know,” Britney replied softly knowing her friend was now beyond upset.

“I don’t think you do,” Emmy told her and stood up again getting ready to leave. “Because if you did then you’d have already done it.”


Alex took a deep breath in and closed the door behind him. He was the last one to leave the office that day and it was unusual; usually he was one of the first along with Howie. But when his friend had come by earlier to ask if he was ready to go he’d lied and said he had a few things to clear up when in fact all he’d done since four thirty was sit and sulk.

He’d tried to call Kevin again; but his sponsor still wasn’t answering the phone and this made Alex antsy. He really needed to talk to him and felt as if he was being avoided. He sighed and pulled out his phone as he walked across the lot to get to his car.

“Hello?” Kevin picked up after the third ring and Alex let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey Kev,” he tried to sound smooth and calm but it didn’t come off that way.

“Alex…” Kevin’s voice trailed wondering why he was calling. “Is, um, everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” he answered as he reached his car and opened the doors.

“You have?” Kevin certainly sounded surprised.

“Yeah,” Alex replied with a nod getting into his car.

“Sorry about that,” Kevin replied, there was a true sincerity to his voice. “I was out of town. Family emergency.”

“Oh well…” Alex let his voice trail off. He felt bad for disturbing the older man, especially during a family emergency.

“But its ok,” Kevin reassured hearing the doubt in his voice. “Do you need to talk?”

“Uh…” Alex answered and wondered if he should tell him. He knew he was supposed to; after all Kevin was his sponsor but he didn’t feel like burdening the man. “No. I was just checking in.”

“Well okay then…” Kevin answered; his voice trailing off. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back next week?”

“Sure,” Alex answered and brushed it off. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Okay see you then,” Kevin answered and Alex hung up. He sighed and leaned back in his seat; taking in a few breaths trying to calm down his mind and reduce the craving that had slowly crept into his throat. Looking straight ahead he turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot; not even thinking about his next destination.