"God, I am so bored!"

I turned to see Kat, sitting on the couch. Kat was one of my best friends. It was jut another boring day in Ohio. It was summer, so it was very nice outside. But, we had nothing to do. We had spent most of the past week laying out. But, we were both a little burnt and wanted to stay inside in the air conditioning.

Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you who I am. Sorry, I can be kinda blonde sometimes. I'm Megan. I recently moved back home. Kat just graduated college and is at home for the summer. I've know her since we were about 16. She became a close friend quickly when my best friend left. And since I haven't seen or talked to him in 2 years, I don't think he'll be taking her place anytime soon.

That is a story all in it's own. It's your classic story. Our mom's were best friends. We lived next door. We were the same age. Boy and girl best friends. So close, we were practically siblings. Then, one day his dream came true. I couldn't ask him to stay. After all those years of him working so hard to make it come true. He came home to visit all the time. And we talked on the phone at least once a day, if not more. He always came home for holidays and my birthday. And I always flew out to wherever he was for his birthday. And if school was out, I spent my vacations touring with him and the other boys.

For those who don't know who I'm talking about. My 'best friend' is Alexander James McLean. Yep. AJ. I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. He was visiting for my birthday. The day he left, he hugged me and kissed my cheek. He said goodbye and left. Usually he would call when he landed. But, not this time. He never called. He never came back to visit for Thanksgiving. Then, Christmas came. Nothing. His mom doesn't live next door anymore, she remarried and moved across town. She's still my mom's best friend, and they see each other once or twice a week. My mom asks about him, but even his mom doesn't know why he stopped talking to me.

Every once in a while, I'll talk to one of the other guys, just to check up on everyone. But, they never mention Alex. I can never tell if they know the reason he won't see me. But, I wish someone would tell me. I miss him. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. I wear his t-shirts to bed. And I wear his sunglasses he left.

Kat doesn't know him. But, she knows the story. She's seen pictures of us around the house. And she's met Denise.

Right now, we're still sitting around wondering how boring the day could get. Little did we know, it was about to become very eventful...

"Megan!" I heard my mom call from upstairs.

"Yeah mom?"

As she walked down the steps she asked, "Can you do me a favor today? Or are you girls busy?"

"No we're not. What do you need?"

"I need you to pick up a couple of old friends from the airport at 315."

"Ok. Who am I picking up?"

"Just some old friends. I told them what you drive so they'll meet you at your car at 315."

"Ok. But, why won't you tell me who they are?"

She smiled, "Sweetie. Don't worry. Just do that for me. Ok?"

I nodded, "Ok mom."

I turned to Kat. "You're going with me right?"

"Yeah, I'll go."

"Thanks. Because I have a bad feeling about this."



On the way to the airport, Kat turne on the radio. She turned on the hits station, and it was playing 'I Want It That Way.' That's when it hit me. She was sending me to pick him up. I didn't say anything. I kept it to myself.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot, I had convinced myself that it wouldn't be him. Because if it was, someone would have told me. Right?

We sat there talking and listening to music when I noticed the clock said 3:17. I started to look around for people coming toward our car. We both got up to satnd outside the car while we waited. I was picking at my fingernail when I heard Kat.

"Hey, is that them?"

I looked straight ahead. I saw two guys walking. One was tall and had a hat on. I could see blonde hair peeking through his hat. He looked kinda familiar. Then, I saw the man walking with him and froze. I recognized him immediately. Even though his hat was pulled down and he had sunglasses on. I knew that walk. It was him. As they got closer I panicked.

"KAT. I can't do this."

"Why?"

"Because it's him."

"Who?"

She looked at them and realized who I was talking about. When they got to me, Nick walked up to me and pulled me close.

"Hey Meg. Surprise!" He grinned as he pulled back.

I just stared at him. Then whispered, "Nick..how could you not tell me? I talked to you ast week. Why wouldn't anyone warn me?"

Alex walked up to me and looked at me with those puppy dog eyes. He softly said, "Hi."

I could feel the butterflies as he stood there. And, I could also feel the tears that were on their way. I turned my head and quickly go tin the car and started the engine. Kat followed. Then, Nick and Alex got in the back.

When I heard all the doors close, I took off. I was beyond pissed. How could my mom send me? Knowing that it would break my heart. After a few minutes of driving in silence, Nick coughed.

I looked back at him through the rearview mirror. "Oh, I'm sorry. Kat, that's Nick. Nick. Kat." Then, I glanced at Alex. "And that's AJ."

I didn't miss his face fall when I said AJ. I promised him years ago that I would never call him that because I knew Alex.

Nick also noticed. "Megan? Come on."

I glared at Nick. Then turned the radio up. At that very moment the song that was playing ended. And a new one came on. Out of all the times to play, it picked right then. 'Incomplete.' Not only did Alex have to majority of the song, but it was a horrible song to play at the time. I mean come on. Without you all I'm going to be is incomplete?

As it played and I heard his voice, a tear rolled down my cheek. I looked in the mirror and saw him lip synching the words, and I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

"Why'd you leave?" I said.

He looked up at me in the mirror. "What?"

I spoke louder. "Why? Why did you leave me? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you visit? Or even write? Or answer your phone? 2 years Alex! Two fucking years!"

"I-I don't know Meggie."

"Don't call me that!"

My emotions were overwhelming me so much, that Kat forced me to pull over to the side of the road and switch seats. When I got in the passenger seat, Kat headed towards my house. I curled my legs up in the seat, and leaned my head against the window as I cried.

When we reached my house, Kat led them to the door. They knew my house so they told her she could stay outside with me. I had gotten out of the car and went to the backyard. I was sitting in the tire swing Alex and I shared. The tree was directly in between our two yards. So when my dad put the tire swing in, he said we had to share. We didn't mind. We used to spend hours pushing each other. Sometimes we'd sit on each others laps in it. Like the night before he left for New York when he first joined the group.

I saw Kat walk out and looked at her with a half smile. "We used to play out here. I haven't sat in this swing in 2 years."

Kat sat on the ground next to me. "God, Megan. I'm so sorry. This must be so hard for you. I can't even imagine being in your position. What are you gonna do?"

"I honestly don't know."

"What if he really is here because he's sorry? I'm not taking his side over yours, but what if he has a good reason?"

"What reason could he possibly have for desserting his best friend?" I wiped my face as I got off the swing, and went inside.

When I got inside, I heard laughter in the living room. I walked in slowly and saw Denise sitting by my mom on the couch. Nick was in the recliner, and Alex was sitting on the gigantic beanbag we always kept in the corner. The beanbag we used to sit on together.

Seeing him sitting there hurt too much. I couldn't handle this. I wasn't ready yet. I needed time to think.

"Megan, come sit with us and talk." My mom said.

I looked at her, with tears running down my face. Then, I turned and ran up the stairs nd into my room. Slamming the door behind me.


I heard the knock on my door. The special knock only Alex used. Then, the door opened and closed a few seconds later. I was laying on my bed. My face burried in my pillow as I sobbed quietly to myself. He sat on the edge of my bed, and touched my back.

"Megs. I'm sorry." He whispered.

I shrugged off his hand and sat up. "Why?"

I looked at him and searched his eyes for an answer.

He cupped my face with his hands and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I really don't know. I'm so sorry. The reason I'm here is because I couldn't stamd being away from you anymore. I miss my best friend."

I shook my head. "No. You have a reason. You just don't wanna tell me because you're ashamed. The only time you lie to me is when you're ashamed of what you've done. Please, just tell me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. You did nothing wrong. I don't know how to explain why I left. It's not..it's not easy to talk about. Not even the guys know why. Hell, honestly I don't even know."

"Alex." I began before I cried again. "I miss you. I miss you so much. I've cried myself to sleep so many nights. I miss you holding me when I sleep. I know we only did that once in a while. But, it was the highlight of my year. Vacation so that I could visit you."

He smiled at me and laid on the bed, pulling me down to rest my head on his shoulder. "I miss it too. Nick brought me. He came over last night and handed me a plane ticket. When I ased what it was, he said 'it's a ticket to take your ass to se her. Because we're sick of hearing you cry.' That's when I realized he was right. I need you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Can you please forgive me?"

"I dunno Alex. It's gona take a lot of talking. How about we go downstairs and visit with everyone, and we'll talk after dinner?"

"Sounds good. Let's go."

We walked back in the living room and took our seats. We sat together on our bean bag. But we didn't act close like before. We weren't giggly and smiling. And everyone noticed. Everyone could see me tense up.

Denise looked at me. "So Megan? How have you been?"

I looked at her and softly said, "I'm fine. Just enjoying my summer." I stood up to get a drink. "Excuse me."

I grabbed a can out of the fridge and sat at the table. I just needed some space to think. I wanted so badly to forgive Alex. And be how we used to be. I just didn't know if I could.

I was broken from my thoughts as my mom came in to start dinner. She patted my shoulder as she told me, "Sweetie. I'm sorry. I thought you'd be happy once you saw him. I didn't think it would hurt you like this. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I just don't know what to do. I wanna forgive him. I want everything to be how it used to be. I'm afraid if we do get close again, he'll leave. Or something will happen and we'll fight and end up hating each other. I'm just scared."

"It's alright hunny. I know it will all work out. You two will be married with children within 5 years." She laughed.

"Ew mom. No."

"I'm gonna make dinner. How about you go in the living room and keep Nick, Alex, and Kat company. Denise had to leave."

"Alright." I said as I walked back in the living room.

I sat down on the couch next to Kat. She was chatting with the guys getting to know each other. I sat there quietly as they talked. Every once in a while I would look up to see Alex looking at me. Each time we made eye conact, we'd smile softly at each other. At one point Nick and Alex were talking, so Kat turned to me.

"Meg, you ok?"

"No."

"Did you guys talk?"

"Yeah. A little bit. We're gonna talk more after dinner." I stopped and looked at her. "What would you do?"

She thought for a minute before answering. "Honestly, after all the stories I've heard and pictures I've seen of you two. I would probably do anything to make things right."

I nodded and looked back at the guys when my mom announced dinner was done and that my dad was home.



After dinner, the six of us sat out on the back porch drinking kool aid. It was getting late, my dad said he was going to go to bed. Which I thought sounded glorious. It was at least midnight, if not later.

I stood up to tell everyone goodnight.

"Nick, you know where the guest room is. And Kat, you know where the other guest room is. I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning, ok?"

"Night Megs." Nick said as he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

Kat smiled and said, "Yeah, goodnight hun."

I started to walk inside when I stopped and turned to Alex, "You coming Alex?"

He looked up at me and smiled. "Of course." He walked towards me and I grabbed him for a hug. I held him for dear life, not wanting to ever let him go. At this moment, I didn't care what his reason was. I wanted my best friend back.

Alex and I went upstairs to my room. He slipped into the bathroom that was attached to my room, to brush his teeth and change. When he came out he was wearing boxers and a wife beater. I smiled when I saw the new tattoos on his arms. I inspected them before going into the bathroom for my nightly routine. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, put on my moisturizer, brushed my hair, and changed. I decided to wear a pair of shorts and 1 of Alex's old t-shirts he left.

When I walked out, I noticed Alex looking at the framed pictures I had hanging on the walls and on my desk in my room. They were all pictures of us growing up. There was one of us in front of school on our first day of Kindergarten, and one of me pushing Alex in the tire swing when we were teenagers. And, my personal favorite, one of him carrying me on his back, smiles plastered on our faces.

He heard me walk in and turned to me.

"Meggie..I'm so sorry." He said, tears forming in his eyes.

"It's ok. I forgive you. I just want my best friend back."

He held me tight as we both cried softly. "I've missed you Meggie."

"I miss you. Every day I miss you more. Promise me we'll always be best friends."

Alex was silent for a moment. "I promise you Meggie. We'll always be friends. Best friends."

That night, we cuddled each other. When I woke the next day, I snuck out of his arms to go downstairs and make breakfast. I was finsihing the pancakes when I heard Nick.

"Hey Megs."

I turned around to face him, "Hey Nicky. How'd you sleep?"

"Wonderful."

"That's good. Hungry?"

He looked at me like I was an alien. "Are you seriously asking me if I'm hungry?! Megan! It's Nick!"

I laughed at him. He had a point though. I made him a plate with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Then, I made myself a plate.

Since we were the only two who were awake, we ate together and talked. Something we hadn't done in a long time.

I was taking a bite, when I felt something hit me. I looked up and saw bacon on my shirt and Nick laughing. Needless to say, that escalated into a food fight. I rubbed some butter over his cheek and he grabbed my arms to pin me. We wrestled for a few minutes before he won. He had me pinned to the ground. Suddenly, without warning..he kissed me.

He pulled away fast, and we stared in each other's eyes. All of a sudden, I felt this rush of emotions. I wanted to kiss him again. So, I risked it. After a few seconds, Nick deepened the kiss. We stayed this way until I heard Alex.

"Megan?"

I pushed Nick off of me and we both jumped up. "Alex! This..I..I don't know what this was."

"AJ. I don't know what to say." Nick said.

Alex just looked at us. "Wow. I guess I should've known sooner or later you two would find each other." He said, then smiled softly.

I looked at Nick. I was more confused than ever. "Nick, what exactly was that?"

"I dunno. It just felt right."

"Yeah..it did."

Alex broke our converstation, "Hey, I'm gonna go get a shower. Then, we're gonna all go out, right?"

"Yeah Alex." I smiled.

Nick and I sat on the couch next to each other to talk. He told me that he thought he had feeling for me and wanted to go out. I agreed to a date, because I was feeling the same way.



That day, Alex, Nick, Kat, and I went downtown to shop. I walked between Alex and Nick. They were taking turns wrapping their arms around my shoulder. Sometimes they fought over me. Which made me feel good deep down. It was nice having Nick around. And I couldn't express how happy I was that I had my best friend back.

We went for lunch and met Kat's boyfriend, Andrew, at the restaurant. We sat around talking so that Kat, Andrew, Nick, and Alex could get to know each other. Since we were in a restaurant that had an arcade, Nick and I went to play when Alex's cell rang. We went on the virtual rollercoaster ride. I was scared shitless because I'm scared to death of rollercoasters and bridges..I guess heights in general.

After it was over, we went over to the carosel they had outside. We sat in the bench instead of a horse so we could share. By the time the ride was over, we were making out.

"Megs, can I have that date tonight?" He asked as he took my hand.

I looked at him and smile. "Sure." I said then kissed him.

When we got back to the table Alex was still gone. I looked around and saw him standing outside smoking, staring at the sky. He only did that when he was sad.

"Guys, I'll be back in a minute." I said as I waslked out to Alex.

When I got outside, I wwrapped my arms around his waist and softly siad, "You ok?"

He turned around and hugged me. "Yeah. I am now." He grinned. Then, his cell rang again. "I'd be better if she'd stop calling me."

"Who?"

"Maria. I've been seeing her off and on for about 2 months. But..I dunno. I just can't see myself marrying her. And I'm to the point that I don't want to waste my time or someone else's time, when I have no intention of staying. Ya know?"

"I understand J."

He quickly changed the subject. "So. You and Nick, huh?"

I blushed. "Yeah..I don't know. I like him, I always have. Who knows..Maybe we'll fall madly in love."

He hugged me again and muttered, "Yeah. maybe."

I pulled away from him when I heard his unenthusiastic tone. "Alex, are you ok with Nick and I going out? We have a dinner date tonight."

"It's fine hun. I'll be fine. Maria said she wanted to come up. She wants to meet you."

"You do know why she wants to meet me, right? She's jealous. I know because I would be too."

"Well, she should be jealous." Alex said as we walked back in, his arm around my shoulder. "Because you are my number 1 girl, and always will be."

"Thanks Alex. You are my number one guy." I winked at him as I saw Nick, and felt the butterflies pop up in my stomach.

Alex must have noticed me get flustered. Because he leaned over to whisper, "I think he really likes you."

That night I was going out with Nick. I was nervous as hell, but excited too. Kat was helping me pick out my outfit. We decided on a cute black mini skirt, a puple top, and my adorable purple, plaid pumps. I know purple plaid..but they are more adorable than you could imagine.

Kat did my makeup for me. She made me look beautiful. And she did my hair. She put it up in one of those messy buns, with my long bangs swept across my face. As I was walking out of my room, I stopped to grab the necklace I had cherished for years. It was a white gold heart, with diamonds all around it. Alex got it for me years ago.

As I walked down the stairs, I saw Nick.

"Oh my!"

I saw Nick standing there with his mouth open.

"Hi Nick."

"Uh..th-these are for you." He handed me a bouquet of lilies and daisies. "You look breathtaking."

I took the flowers and blushed. "Thank you. Ready?"

He held out his arm for me to take. "Yes. Let's go."

I turned to say goodbye to Kat, Alex, and Andrew. As we were leaving, I thought for a second that Alex looked angry at me. But, I assured myself he wasn't.


That night Nick took me to dinner and then we went to a coffee shop so we could sit and talk. We already knew each other pretty well, so we took the opportunity to catch up on the past few years with our love lives. His had been crazy. Mine..well let's just say I don't have good luck in love. I was the only one of my friends that was a virgin. It's not that I don't want to have sex, it's just that the guys I've dated..I had no desire to have it with them. I want to actually like the person I do have sex with.

As we were talking, I decided to tell him about my virginity.

"There is something I should tell you that you don't know. It's probably the one thing you guys don't know about me."

"What's is it?" He asked me, smiling.

"I'm a virgin." I said it so fast, he didn't understand me.

"Do what?"

"I'm a virgin Nick." This time I said it slower and a little louder.

He stared at me before speaking. "Oh..wow. I-I never would have thought that. You're so beautiful..how could someone not have made love to you?"

"Nick you're sweet. It's not that I'm like waiting for marriage or anything..I just want to actually like the person I have sex with. Ya know? Feel something for them."

He smiled and placed his hand over mine. "I understand. And I completely respect you. I would never pressure you into that."

He leaned in and kissed me. After we pulled away, and finished our coffees, we decided to leave. As we were walking to the cab, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and it said Alex. I knew that if he was interrupting, something was wrong.

"Alex?"

"MEGAN WHERE ARE YOU GUYS AT?!"

"At starbucks. Why? What's wrong?!"

"Baby, can you give the phone to Nick real quick, I promise I'll tell you. I just need to tell him first."

"Ok."

I handed the phone to Nick. As he was talking to Alex, I saw his eyes grow wide. I knew something horrible happened. A minute later, we were getting in the cab and Nick gave the phone back. As I was telling Alex I was back, i heard Nick tell the driver.. hospital.

"ALEX? WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Baby, calm down. Are you sitting?"

"Yes, we're in the cab."

"Meg, I don't know how to tell you this...but, it's Kat."

"What about her? Why are we going to the hospital?"

"Babe, she was out with Andrew. I heard his car dropping her off. So, I went to the door to let her in. And, I heard her scream. When I got out there, he drove off and she was laying there on the ground. He beat her Meg. He beat her bad."

"Oh my God." I whispered as tears rolled down my face. "How is she?"

"She's in surgery. We're on the 3rd floor, in the waiting room. Do you want me to stay on the phone until you get here?"

No, I'm here. I'll see you in a minute. Bye"

"Bye." He said before I hung up.



When I got in the waiting room, I saw Alex and my parents. Kat's parents were on vacation in Hawaii, so they couldn't get there yet.

I ran straight into Alex's arms and sobbed.

He stroked my hair ad whispered, "Shh..it's ok. She'll be ok."

I pulled away from him to ask, "What did he do to her?"

"Meggie.."

"Alex tell me. Please."

"Ok." He sat down and pulled me on his lap. "He beat her all over. Probably kicked her. She's got a lot of scratches and bruises. Her lip is busted. And her shirt was torn up. To be honest..I think he raped her..."

"Alex?"

"Meggie, when I got out to her, she was unconcious."

"Oh my God. She's in a coma?" I asked i disbelief. "What if she doesn't make it?"

"She will Megs." Nick said as he kneeled down in front of me.



"Are you all here for Katrina Anderson?" A doctor asked. None of us even noticed that he had walked in.

"My dad stood up. "Yes we are. Here parents are in Hawaii, on their way back. We all brought her here. Is she alright?

"Well, she was beaten pretty badly. She's got a lot of broken bones. We've stopped the internal bleeding. But, she's still in a coma. And, the next 48 hours are very critical. If she wakes up, she'll be fine. However, if she doesn't wake up within the next two days, she more than likely never will."

"May we see her?" I asked.

"Sure. But, please keep it to no more than two people in a room at a time. She's in ICU, room 6."

"Thank you doctor." My mom told him as she shook his hand.


My parents told me to go in first. I looked to Nick and Alex and couldn't dcide who to ask to go in with me.

"Megs, take AJ with you. You need him."

"Nick are you sure?"

He hugged me. "I'm sure babe."

"Thank you."

Alex walked me into Kat's room. I was unprepared for the sight in front of me. There was Kat, lying helplessly in the bed. Casts all over, scratches and bruises on her face and arms. Gauze wrapped arooud her head, where he had busted her skull open. She had a black eye and had wires and tubes hooked up to her.

I gasped and buried my face in Alex's chest. "Alex, what if she doesn't wake up?"

"She will. She has to."

I sat in the chair by Kat's bed all night. I had fallen asleep there and woke up when Alex shook my shoulder.

"Meggie, wake up."

I opened my eyes and saw Alex. "Hi."

"Hey. Hou bout I take you home so you can get some rest and clean up. Then, I'll bring you back."

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving til she wakes up. Just like if it were you here. I will be here for her."

He stood behind me and hugged me. "I understand. Just like I would be here if it were you. But how about I go get us some food? McDonalds?"

"Perfect. Thanks sweetie."

He kissed my cheek before he left. "Be right back."

After he left the room, I looked back at Kat. I couldn't stand to see her like that. And the fact that they still hadn't caught Andrew made me even more upset.

I sat back down and took Kat's hand. "Kat. It's time for you to wake up. I need your help. I'm really starting to fall for Nick. But,I'm afraid that if it gets serious, then it will affect my relationship with Alex...I know I shouldn't be worrying about this now, with you in here..but, I know you're gonna wake up really soon. Right?"

When I didn't hear her answer, I put my head in my hands and cried. What if she didn't wake up?

"Why are you crying?"

I looked up and saw Kat looking at me, which made me cry more because I was happy.

"Oh my God, you're awake!" I hugged her the best I could without hurting the tubes in her.

"What happened?"

"Lemme get the doctor." I ran in the hall to tell the nurse to get the doctor. When I got back in her room, I asked, "Do you remember anything?"

She put her head down and nodded slowly. She whispered, "How'd I get here?"

"Alex her you scream. When he got out the door, he saw Andrew throw you down and take off. He brought you here."

"Is he here now?"

"No. He just stepped out to get food. Should be back with it any minute. You're gonna be ok. They're gonna find him."

She just nodded. "I'm glad AJ was there."

"Yeah, me too." I smiled

"So. I heard what you said about Nick. Falling for him, huh?"

"I think. I'm not sure. I'm kinda confused right now."

"Confused about what?"

Alex walked in the door, just as I was about to answer. "I'll tell you later, ok?"

Kat nodded and smiled at me. Then, turned her attention to thank Alex for saving her life.

"AJ. Thank you."

He walked over to her. "Hey it was no problem. I'm just glad I was there when I was. But, now. You're awake and you're gonna be fine."




A few weeks later, after Kat was released from the hospital. Nick and I were hanging around my house watching t.v. We hadn't made anything official yet, but it felt like we might soon. We were the only ones there at the moment. My parents were working, and Alex was shopping.

We were sitting on the couch togetherm with his hand rubbing my thigh. I looked over at him and caught him staring, so I went in for a kiss.

A few minutes later, Nick intensified the kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and slid his hands up my shirt, peeling it off. He kissed my lips, then trailed kisses down to my neck and started to suck on my spot.

My hands were playing with his shirt, then he pulled back to take it off. I smiled when I saw him. He was gorgeous. We went back to kissing, and he went back to slightly nibbling on my neck.

I couldn't help but let out soft little moans.

"Megs. If this goes too far for you, let me know and I'll stop ok?"

I nodded and he went back to kissing me with such passion, I couldn't describe.

After a few minutes of bliss, my world came crashing down.

"Oh..Alex.."

As soon as the name came out of my mouth, we both froze. I couldn't believe I said it. I couldn't look at him. I just wanted to run away. I grabbed my shirt and ran upstairs.

As soon as I got in my room, I reached for my phone to call Kat. I got her voicemail.

'Hey this is Kat, you know what to do. *beep*'

"KAT! Please call me when you can. It's urgent. I'm in trouble." I siad, in between sobs. I tried to calm myslef down enough for her to hear me.

After I hung up, I laid down and cried myself to sleep.



I woke up about 45 minutes later, wiped the tears from my eyes, ad went downstairs, hoping that no one was there.

When I got down there, I saw Nick's shirt still laying on the couch. I searched around and saw him sitting on the back porch...talking to Alex. I could feel my stomach turn out of fear. I was scared to death at what Nick was telling him. And how Alex would respond.

For years our parent always swore Alex and I would realize we were meant for each other. But we were just friends. Right? We didn't have those feelings for each other, right?

I saw Nick look up, and our eyes met. I could see the tears in his eyes, so I turned around to walk away. Then, I heard the door open.

"Megan!"

"Alex, I don't know what Nick told you, but-"

"He won't tell me what happened. He said I should talk to you. What happened?"

He wrapped his arms around me and held me as he rubbed my back lovingly. I rested my head against his chest and inhaled deeply. His cologne always put me at ease. He pulled back and looked at me, waiting for me to answer. I looked up and was staring deeply into his eyes.

At that moment. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

As I was standing there, looking deep into his eyes, my hands began to shake. I couldn't tell him what happened between me and Nick. I just couldn't. So, I ran. I ran out the door. Down the driveway. And half way down the street. I saw Kat's car turning the corner, so I stopped and got in.

"Megan! What's wrong?! What happened?!"

I curled myself in a ball in her car and just lost it. I cried so hard, I couldn't breathe.

"Megan.." She rubbed my back.

"Kat...I-I don't know what to do." I sobbed

"Let's get you back home. And then we'll go upstairs and talk."

I nodded. When we arrived back at my house, I saw Nick and Alex standing outside. They must have seen me stop when I saw Kat's car. When I got out of the car, I walked straight past them and upstairs.

I was alone in my room for a few minutes. Kat probably talked to them to see if they could tell her what was wrong. When she came in my room, she closed the door and sat down.

"Megan?"

I looked at her. I had to wipe the tears from my eyes because they were burning so bad.

"What exactly happened?"

"I-I can't believe it."

"You can't believe what honey?"

"I called Nick...I called him Alex."

"Oh Meg, that's not so bad is it?"

"While we were fooling around Kat. We were one minute away from having sex and I moaned Alex's name. For God's sake! What am I gonna do?"

She sat quietly for a minute. Then asked, "Megan? Do you have feelings for Alex?"

I sniffed and looked up again. "Kat. I-I was downstairs a few minutes ago. And Alex asked me what happened. He hugged me and when he pulled away, I looked in his eyes. And.."

I stopped speaking and put my head in my hands and cried softly.

"Kat, I realized why I never have a relationship. I compare every single guy to Alex. And none of them ever compare. I always find something about them to break it off. I want him. I'm in love with him. I have been since we were teenagers." I said once more in a whisper, "I'm in love with him."

"Oh sweetie. I knew it. I knew there had to be more to you guys. Are you gonna tell him?"

I looked up fast, "NO! And you can't tell him either!"

"Meg, you have to tell him. You can't keep this to yourself."

"I can't tell him. He can never know, Kat. I can't take a chance on losing him. He means everything to me."

"Sweetie.."

"Kat. Please don't tell him. Or anyone. Please?"

"Ok. I won't. But, I still think you need to tell him. He may feel the same way."

"I wish he did. But, I doubt it. I'm just his best friend. He could never see me that way. Let's just go downstairs and pretend nothing's wrong."

"Ok..if that's what you want."


We walked downstairs and went to the couch. As soon as I sat down, Alex came over to me and sat with me. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head.

"You ok Meggie?"

I looked at him and lied. "Yeah. I'm fine J. Just tired."

"Ok. You remember the girl I told you about? Maria? Well, she's coming up tonight. I told her I wouldn't be coming home for a while because I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I thought we could double. I want you to meet her."

"I thought you said you didn't wanna waste your time with her?"

"I know. But, I thought I'd give it one more chance. Ya never know."

My heart fell. "Oh. Ok. But, I don't think the double date will happen. Nick and I aren't exactly good right now."

"Well, how about I see what I can do about that?"

He got up and began to walk over to Nick.

"No. Alex..I -"

Too late. He was already to him. And they were talking. I could see Nick getting upset. I sat back down and tried to hold back tears. Kat moved over to the couch to talk to me.

"You ok?"

"No. I have to meet Alex's girlfriend tonight. And we won't get along. Because I never get along with them. They always hate me because they know how important I am to him. One time, he was dating this girl that told him I tried to have my way with her because she had been with him. I just laughed at how ridiculous that was."

Kat giggled, "Wow."

"I know." I looked over and saw Alex and Nick laughing. "Well, looks like whatever they're talking about can't be too bad if they're laughing."

I continued to stare at Alex. "God, I wonder what it would feel like to be the girl with him. The one he kisses. The one who he makes love to.."

"Well, if you told him..."

"Kat. I just can't. He-he just can't know."



That night, I met Maria. As expected, she was tall and thin. Beautiful. Long black hair. Perfect in every way. I agreed to go out with them, and so did Nick..but, only if Kat did too. He wanted to make sure it wouldn't be considered a date.

Nick and I still hadn't talked since our 'incident.' He wouldn't even look at me. Alex still didn't know why. I told him I wasn't ready to talk about it, which was true.

After dinner, we all went back to my house and decided to hang around the pool. I spent the entire night watching Alex and Maria kissing and touching each other. It hurt so bad I couldn't stay. I excused myself early and went upstairs.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Thinking of Alex. And how I would never be happy. I kept thinking of how I would spen my life alone. Because no man could ever compare to him.

I woke up the next morning and saw that Alex wasn't in bed. He always sleeps with me. But, I had a good idea why he wasn't in bed. I got dressed and went downstairs to make breakfast. When I walked past the guest rooms, I saw the door open. Maria walked out. Carrying her jacket, and a camera. When she saw me, she froze and got nervous.

"Oh. Hi Megan."

"Maria."

"I was just-I was just leaving. I've got to get back home. Could you tell AJ I'll miss him?

"Wait a minute. You're not even telling him you're leaving? So you just came here to have sex with him?"

"Not exactly."

I looked down and noticed her digital camera was on. And I saw a picture of Alex. Naked.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!"

"That's none of your business."

"THE FUCK IT'S NOT! That's my best friend in there you're trying to exploit. If you think you are leaving this house with that fucking camera, you're fucking crazy!"

By this time, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Nick had come out to see what was going on. As had Kat, who had spent the night. And, Alex was coming out as Maria hit me.

"MARIA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Alex screamed as he ran to me.

"I was just teaching this little bitch a lesson."

"How dare you-"

"Alex, I'm fine." I stood up and pushed her back into the wall. "Give me the camera and get out."

Alex looked at me and asked, "What camera?"

I didn't want to hurt him, but I had no choice but to tell him. "She only came here to sleep with you so she could sell pictures and her story. She has pictures of you on that camera. I saw one."

"Is that true Maria? How could you?"

"I needed a way to get my career started. What better way than to be an ex-gilfriend of a Backstreet Boy, who was involved in a sex tape scandal?"

That made me snap. I completely lost my cool. I grabbed the camera frome her, smashed it to the ground and stomped on it. Then, I grabbed her and threw her down. "How could you?! He's a fucking person. He has feelings!"

She laid there before standing up to ask, "Why is it such a big deal to you?"

"Because I love him!"

I said it. I couldn't believe I said it out loud. I prayed that Alex wasn't still right behind me. I could feel the tears forming as I tried to act as if I didn't mean anyting by it.

"Oh. So that's why. You know, I knew you were in love with him. But, you're just the poor little girl he thinks of as a sister. Because let's face it. He'd never want you. You're a nobody."

I was about to hit her, when Nick stepped in. "Maria. You better get out of here before all of us kill you."

"Oh blondie to the rescue. You people are pathetic."

Maria walked downstairs and slammed the door. After a few minutes I looked up at Nick.

"Thanks for stopping that." I said softly

"No problem. Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"I heard what you said about AJ. I understand. I always knew he was the one you wanted. I just thought maybe I could make you fall for me. But, you belong with him."

"Nick. I can't tell him."

"Well, sweetie..you don't have to. Because he heard you too."

My entire body went pale from fear. "Oh my God. What am I going to do?"

"You're going to go out there, and you're going to talk to him. And you two aren't going to leave the room until you're together."

"Nick. It's not that simple."

"Oh, but it is."



"MEGAN GET DOWN HERE FAST!" I heard Kat scream.

Nick and I looked at each other, before I took off down the steps. When I reached the bottom, I saw Alex laying on the ground. Not moving.

"He's not breathing."

"What happened Kat?"

"I don't know. He came down here after Maria. I just now walked down and saw him. You don't think she did anything do you?"

I knelt down over Alex to check his heartbeat and pulse. Kat went to the phone to call 911, while Nick ran to the kitchen to get the first aid kit.

I looked over his body for any blood. When I didn't find any, I began CPR.

Ten minutes or so later, the paramedics arrived. They began working on him and revived him. Although, he was sill unconcious.

I rode with him on the way to the hospital, holding his hand and praying.



I sat in the waiting room with Kat and Nick. Waiting for news on Alex. I had called my parents and Denise, they were on their way. When I heard the door open, I looked up and saw all three of them running in. I hugged Denise, then dad, then my mom.

"How is he?" Denise asked.

"I don't know. They still haven't told us. I'm really scared though."

"He'll be fine." Denise said as she hugged me. "He's a fighter, you know that."

"I hope he still is."

Four hours passed before the doctor came out to talk to us.

I stood up faster than anyone. "How is he? Can we see him?"

"He's in recovery. He had his appendix out. He should've done this at least a week ago. He must have been hiding the pain. He'll be fine. He's resting now. You can see him. But, only two at a time."

"Thank you doctor." I said before I turned to Denise. "You should go see him first."

"Honey, come in with me. He's gonna want you in there."

I thought to myself as I walked with her, 'I don't think he does.'

Denise walked in first. I trailed behind her, walking slowly. He was awake, but you could tell by the way he turned to his mother, that he was very weak.

"Hi mommy." He softly said.

Denise chuckled slightly, "Hi baby boy. How you feel?"

She sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand. I stayed by the door, he hadn't noticed me yet and I didn't want to get in the way.

"I'm alright. I've been having these little pains the past few days, I thought they'd go away."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Alex shrugged. "I honestly didn't think it was a big deal."

Denise shook her head at her son. Then she turned her head to me. "Honey, why are you all the way over there?"

I slowly walked toward the bed, avoiding eye contact with Alex completly. "I didn't want to get in your way." I said softly.

"Nonsense Megan. You are never in the way. You're practically my daughter." She held out her hand and I took it.

I glanced at Alex and noticed him watching me. When my eyes met his, he studied my face.

"Mom?"

"Yes Alex?"

"Can I talk to Megs alone?"

"Sure sweetie. I'll go tell everyone you're fine."

After she closed the door, I felt my heart practically beat out of my chest. I was trying to think of what to say. So, I chose to lie.

"Megs?"

I sat on the bed next to him. "Yeah?"

"I-I heard you today..in the hallway. I heard what you said to Maria."

"Alex, that..that was just the first thing I thought to say. I meant it like my best friend. Ya know? I love you because you're my best friend."

I could sense he knew I was lying to him. "Meggie?" He whispered.

I put my head down to try and hide the tears forming in my eyes. He lifted my chin up with his hand, and saw my tears.

"Alex.."

He whisered softly, "Meggie?"

I looked deep in his eyes and felt my heart flutter. I was in love with him. Deeply in love with him. I couldn't bear to lose my best friend. I couldn't tell him the truth. So what did I do? I told him I had to go, got up, and left.

When I got to the door, I paused when I heard him call out my name. But, without looking back, I opened the door, and left.

I got all the way to the parking lot before anyone caught up to me. It was Kat. By the time she got to me, I was sitting on the sidewalk, crying.

"Megan? What was that?"

I looked at her as she sat next to me to comfort me. "Kat..I can't. He heard what I said. He asked me about it. I lied and left."

"Do you think he feels the same way?"

I shook my head. "I doubt it."

"Why? You never know. What if he has the exact same feelings as you. And what if he's just too scared to tell you?"

I started to talk when I heard Denise.

"Megan?!"

I looked behind me and saw her, so I stood up and wiped my face.

"Honey, are you ok? What happened? Did you and Alex have a fight?"

"No. We didn't." I said.

"Well then what happened? I saw you leave so soon, so Nick and I went in his room. He's..Megan, Alex is crying..he never lets anyone see him cry."

I looked up at Denise, and she knew.

"Oh my God Megan...Finally!" She hugged me tight as she let out her excitement.

Whe we pulled back, I asked, "Finally what?"

"Don't try and hide it Megan. I know what's wrong. You're in love with my son."

"Denise. I.."

"Did you tell him?"

I put my head down and quietly said, "He heard me say it earlier. I lied."

Denise wrapped her arm around me and walked me to the bench. "Aww. Sweetie. Go talk to him."

I shook my head frantically, "I can't. I can't do this."

Before anyone could stop me, I got up and ran. I ran to the nearest bus stop, and luckily caught one immediatly. On the way back to my house, all I could do was sob while thinking of memories I've made with Alex.

I started to laugh out loud a little when I remembered the time he wanted to make his mom a birthday cake. We were about 15. He made it at my house so his mom wouldn't see. He thought wearing a chef's hat would be cute. I have to admit it was. He decided to make her a german chocolate cake, and thought I could help him decorate it.

Of course, when the cake was done, and we were decorating it. We messed up. I accidently hit his arm while he was writing with the icing. Then, he tried to redo it. Well, I didn't realize how close he was..and somehow when I moved, my foot got twisted in between his legs and I fell..then he fell on me. And, as if this was a scene out of a movie, the cake fell..on top of us.

We were covered in chocolate cake and diferent colored incings. My parents heard our laughter and came in to see us. And, just like every other moment of my life, there were pictures to remember it.



By the time I got home, I looked at my cell. I had 12 missed calls from Kat, Denise, Nick, my parents, and Alex. I settled myself on the couch with a blanket, and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up some time later to the sound of the front door closing. I opened my eyes and saw everyone in front of me. Including Alex. The doctor said he could be released if he promised to rest for the next few days.

I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes. I looked at everyone, then decided to go into the kitchen to get a drink. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. Especially Alex. But, I knew what was going to happen. Once I got my drink, I'd turn around and see Alex.

I walked over to the fridge and got a Dr. Pepper. When I closed the door, I turned around and was met by Alex. Told you.

"Megan. We have to talk. Come outside with me." He waled to the back door. When I just stood there he asked, "Please Meggie."

I put my drink down, and followed Alex outside. We walked over to our swing. Alex was still sore, so he leaned against the tree, while I sat in the tire.

"Meggie? Are you gonna talk to me?"

I looked up at him. "Alex. I don't know what to say."

"Say what's on your mind. Just let everything out. Meggie, it's me. Tell me. Just say it."

I stood up. "Alright! You want me to say it? I'll say it!"

I began to speak louder than I intended. "I'm fucking in love with you! I have been since we were teenagers. I thought these feelings went away bu they didn't! I thought that seeing Nick would make them go away, but it didn't!"

I stopped to breathe.

"Meg-"

"I'm not done yet! The situation between me and Nick..that day we almost had sex! And what stopped us..was me moaning out your name! I don't want to lose you. I don't know what to do to make this go away. It just won't!"

I crumbled to the ground. Alex sat down next to me, slowly. I could tell he was in pain. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I leaned against him.

As I laid in his arms, I whispered repeatedly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shhh..Meggie. Don't be sorry. You can't help who you fall in love with."

I sat up and looked at him. "I know. That's why I'm sorry. And I understand if you leave again. It's ok."

Before he could answer, I walked back inside and went upstairs to my room. I turned on my computer, and put my music playlist on shuffle. As I laid on my bed, How Did I Fall In Love With You came on.

I groaned out loud and asked myself. "Why out of 1,000 fucking songs does this have to play first!?"

"Maybe it's trying to tell you something."

I heard his voice and looked at the door. I saw Alex walking towards me and sat up in bed.

"Alex I'm-"

Before I could finish, his lips were against mine. After a few seconds, I realized what was happening, so I kissed back. He deepened the kiss and added his tongue. He put his arms around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck. He slowly laid on top of me, as I played with his shirt.

Slowly I peeled the shirt off of him and ran my nails down his spine. He began to take my shirt off, when he winced in pain and rolled over onto his back.

"Oh, I forgot about your surgery. You're supposed to be resting."

"I know. I just...I just want you so bad."

"Alex?"

"Meggie, I'm in love with you. I always have been. I just thought you wouldn't feel the same way. That's why I left that day. I realized it, and I jnew I couldn't have you, so I left."

I snuggled close to him and kissed his chest. "I love you Alexander James McLean."

He kissed the top of my head, "I love you Megan Ann Sanders."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course baby girl."

"What are we going to do now?"

He moved slightly so he could face me. "We tell everyone we know that we're in love. And then, when I'm better. We make love."

He leaned in to kiss me softly, "And right now, you cuddle with me so we can sleep and I can get better faster."

I smiled, "Sounds like a great plan."

I opened my eyes the next morning, smiling. Then, I realized where I was and my smile faded. I was on the couch. It was a dream. I stood up and walked around the house. I stopped in the guest rooms. Kat was in hers. Nick was in his. My parents were in their room. I wnt to my room, slowly opened the door, and saw my bed completly made.

"It was all a dream." I said as the tears began to form again.

Alex was still in the hospital. When I got home, I fell asleep and had a dream. The most incredible dream.

I went back downstairs to make some breakfast. I made myself some cereal. When I sat down to eat, I just stared at the bowl. I wasn't hungry. All I wanted was Alex. After thinking for a few minutes, I realized what I had to do.

I went back up to my room and slipped into the bathroom, and got ready. I wore a pair of Alex's sweat pants and his tshirt, which was baggy on me. I fixed my hair, and put on a little makeup. I decided to go back to the hospital before anyone else would wake up.

When I turned my car on, I hooked my ipod up to my stereo. Putting it on random, I found the perfect song was playing. 'Dreaming Of You' by Selena. The entire way there I sang along, putting all of my heart and soul into the words.

By the time I pulled up to the hospital, I had myself convinced that I had that dream for a reason. That it was God's way of telling me to tell him. When I got to the entrance, I ran to the elevator. When I reached his floor, I took off fo rhis room, flew through his door and saw him. I stopped to catch my breath. He looked over at me.

"Meggie?"

I walked over to his bed, "Alex. I'm so sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me."

As I got closer I saw another person in the room with him. It was his ex, Julie. When I saw her I stopped in my tracks.

"Meggie..Julie heard what happened and she wanted to make sure I was ok."

I should've known better. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd be alone. I'll come back later."

I turned to leave, "Meggie wait! Don't go! Julie can you leave us alone for a minute?"

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Sure baby." She walked over to him and kissed him. When she left she saw me cringe and smiled. She always was a bitch.

"Meggie come here." He motioned for me to sit with him on his bed.

I sat next to him and took his hand. "How you feeling?"

"Much better. They said I could go home today. Well, I can go to your house. If that's still ok with you.."

"Of course it is." I smiled, "You'll never be turned away there. You know that."

We sat in silence for a few minutes until Alex spoke.

"Are we ever gonna talk about it?"

"Alex, we don't have to. Let's just leave it in the past and act like it never happened ok?"

"Megan. We can't do that. Please tell me the truth."

I looked in his eyes. I couldn't lie to him anymore. I nodded, and looked down.

"Megan. Did you..did you mean what you said? Do you love me?"

I looked back in his eyes, and nodded slowly. Then whispered, "Yes."

"As in..you're in love with me?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I'll leave."

"Meggie, don't go."

Julie walked back in, "Alex? Ready to go?"

He looked over at her and answered, "I will be in a few..and it's AJ."

"Sorry baby, I forgot." She walked to him where he had stood up to get dressed. "Let me help you." She then turned to me and said, "Um, honey..I think you should wait outside. AJ doesn't want you to see him naked. That's only for me to see."

She looked at him and winked. I decided to leave. I told him. And he chose. Part of me knew it would happen, but a small part of me thought for sure he'd pick me.




When I got back home, I went straight to the backyard to our swing. Ignoring all questions from everyone about where I was and what happened. I figured my tear stained face was enough of an answer.

I sat in the tire and swayed back in forth, remembering all the times we'd spent together in this swing. All the times we spent hours putting off our homework to be out here. Even the day he told me he was officially a Backstreet Boy. I was so excited for him.

I also remembered when I first realized I loved him. I was 16. I thought it was just a weird little crush at first. But, now. I know it was love. And those feelings were obviously never going to go away. I heard my name and looked up to see my mom walking toward me.

"Honey, are you ok?"

I looked up at her and broke. "No mama. I'm not. I'm broken and I can't be fixed. My heart can't be fixed." I walked to her and she grabbed me in a hug, just holding me as I cried on her shoulder.

"What happened?"

"I told him. He has Julie with him. He picked her."

"Oh sweetie." She stroked my hair, "I'm sure he's just scared. It'll be ok."

"Mama, does this pain ever go away?"

My mom walked me back into the kitchen just in time to hear the doorbell. I figured I'd try to be strong and answer the door, knowing it wasn't Alex because he wouldn't use the bell.

When I opened the door, I saw the other 3 guys on the other side.

"Kevy!" I jumped into Kevins arms and hugged him tight.

Next was, "Brian!"

After I hugged him, "Howie!"

When I pulled away from Howie I walked the inside to the couch.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as we all sat down.

"We heard what happened to AJ, and wanted to make sure he was ok." Kevin said. "And we missed you."

"Aww. I miss you guys too."

"Megan? Are you ok? Where's AJ?"

I looked at Brian when he asked, "Y-Yeah. I'm fine." I tried to smile and be strong, but I couldn't. I shook my head, "No. I'm not ok. He's still at the hospital, he should be back anytime. He's with Julie. She heard what happened and flew out here to be with him."

"Julie? But, they broke up like 3 years ago." Howie said.

"Yeah, I know. She's just in time."

"In time for what?" Kevin asked.

"Alex heard me say I love him. I told him this morning how I really felt about him, and that's when Julie came back in. She was rude, so I left."

Kevin hugged me tight and rubbed my back. "Aw, Megan. You'll be ok. I always knew you were in love with him. Just by the way you act around him. And the way you look at him. I could tell the first time I met you."

I looked up at him and wiped my tears away. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter. Cause he's with her again."

"I doubt he'll stay with her. After finding out how you feel about him."

"Kevin. He could've sent her away and he didn't. He chose her. Now my relationship with Alex is ruined. And the potential one I had with Nick is gone."

"Yeah, Nick told us everything. We're all sorry."

"It's ok Kev. So how long are you guys staying?"

"We can only stay today. We have a flight tonight at 8."

"Aw. But, it's already 12:30."

Just then, the door opened and Alex walked in..along with Julie.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here?

Brian stood up to hug him, "We came to see you. And now, we want to see you outside." Brian turned to Kevin, "Can you run up and get Nick?"

"Sure."

After Kevin ran upstairs to get Nick, the four of them took Alex outside. And left me alone with Julie. I sent Kat a text asking her to comedownstairs. I explained it all in my text.

When she walked downstairs she walked into an argument.

"Look Megan. I know you want Alex.."

"First of all. You are to call him AJ."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, "I know you want him. And I have him, so therefore, you're jealous of me. And why wouldn't you be? I have everything you've ever wanted."

"Listen you little bitch, if you hurt him again, so help me God what I will do to your snoody little face."

"Oh, threats now? That's not very nice. Besides. It's not me who doesn't want to be with you. It's AJ. He told me he wants nothing to do with you. We're only here to get his things. Then, we'll be leaving."

I didn't know whether to believe her or not. It didn't seem like something he'd say. But, after what I old him..who knows.

Just as I was about to fire back at her, Kat broke in. "Megan, can you help me with something in the kitchen?"

I looked at her, "Sure Kat."



*****Outside with the boys*****

"Guys, what's wrong?" AJ asked.

All four of them looked at him as if he lost his brain. "What are you doing?!"

"Kevin, what are you talking about?"

Brian spoke next, "Why is Julie here? After what has happened the past few days with Megan, you have the nerve to bring Julie to Megan's house? Man, what are you thinking."

AJ stood there in silence. "Oh my God. You guys are right. What was I thinking? I'm so stupid."

You're not stupid. You're just confused." Nick said. "She's in love with you man. Don't you feel the same way?"

AJ did feel the same way. But, he was afraid to admit it. He was trying his best to hide it. He didn't want to hurt Megan, but he didn't want to take a chance and hurt her even worse in a relationship.

"Guys, I-I don't think I do." AJ said in a low tone.

Kevin shot his head up at him. "That's the biggest lie you've ever told. You are in love with that girl And leaving her now will ruin your life completely. She's the best thing, hell she's the only thing in your life that you should worry about."

"Kevin drop it!" AJ screamed.

"NO! I won't drop it! None of us will! Because we all know that the only thing that's gonna make you happy is Megan. And you know it too! That's why you're here. That's why you had to drop everything and fly out here. That's why you had to bring Nick with you because you were afraid she wouldn't talk to you and you needed support. Why are you trying to deny it?"

Kevin took AJ's shoulders and continued, "Why won't you go tell her? AJ. You love her. You always have. You told me you did 4 years ago. Don't you try to tell me that those feelings just stopped. And don't tell me that Julie showing up is the reason. You don't love her and you know it!"

AJ shrugged Kevin off of him and shot a dirty look. "I'm out of here."

AJ walked back inside, "Julie. Come on. We're leaving."

***********

I heard Alex's voice and walked into the living room.

When I entered the room, I saw all the guys come in after him. I saw the rude looks they were giving him. And I also saw an anger in Alex's eyes I hadn't seen in years. When he saw me, he walked toward me and took my hand.

"Goodbye Megan."

He let go of my hand and took Julie's. They walked out the door and I crumbled to the ground and broke.

Just like that, he was gone. Again.

It's been a week since Alex left. Nick was still here. He and Kat were getting along very well. I expected them to offiially be a couple within the next few days. This week has been hell for me. I haven't really eaten. Or slept for that matter. Tonight, Kat and Nick claim I'm going out with them. Although I really don't want to, I guess I will to make them happy.

I haven't heard from Alex. Neither has Nick. Kevin called me yesterday to let me know he had called him and Alex answered only to say. "I'm fine."

Denise had come by a few days after he left, to assure me that he was alright. And to also tell me that he had dumped Julie the night he left. What none of us could understand is why he wouldn't speak to any of us.

I understood why he didn't want to talk to me. But, I couldn't figure out what the other guys did. I asked Nick what happened that day outside. He told me they tried to reason with Alex, and that he wouldn't listen. That he was just being stubborn. As ususal.



As I was getting ready to go out with Kat and Nick, my cell rang. When I heard the ringtone I had set specifically for Alex, I froze and stared at my phone. I was too scared to answer it, so I let it go to voicemail. Besides, I could always say I was in the shower and couldn't get to the phone.

After a minute or two, it beeped. Which meant he left me a voicemail. I picked up my phone, and dialed my voicemail password. When I heard his voice, my heart fluttered.

"Meggie, I know you probablly don't wanna hear from me after how I left. But, I just needed to tell you that I'm so sorry. I don't know why I keep leaving like that. I'm on my way to you now. I need to tell you you how I feel. Please, when I get there..please let me in...I love you."

When I listened to his message, I couldn't tell if he meant he loved me like I loved him..Or if he just loved me like we had always loved each other.

I saved the message so I could let Kat listen and hear her opinion. I finished getting dressed, but decided I was going to stay home and wait for Alex.

I called his cell back, but it was turned off. Which more han likely meant he was on the plane. So I hung up and sent him a text.

'I'll be at home.'

I went downstairs to where Kat and Nick were waiting for me.

"Ready Megan?" Kat asked.

"Um, actually. I'm not going."

"Why not?" Nick asked

"I'm going to stay home and wait for Alex..he's on his way here now."

They looked at each other, then at me. "Megs, you talked to him?"

"Not exactly. I was too afraid to answer my phone, so he left a voicemail. Here I saved it."

I put my cell on speaker phone and let them listen.

Kat smiled when it was over, "Sounds like you're finally gonna get your fairytale ending."

"Maybe." I half smiled. "I'm not getting my hopes up. Last time I did, I was crushed beyond comprehension."

Nick hugged me tight, "Well, we're gonna head out. Good luck. And slap AJ for me."

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I will. Thanks Nick. You guys have fun."



I sat in the living room in the quiet for about an hour. When the doorbell rang, I got up to answer it. There was Alex, standing there with a dozen yellow roses. My favorite.

"Alex, why'd you ring the bell. Only strangers and Kevin do that." I laughed lightly.

He chuckled. "These are for you."

I took the flowers, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

After I put the flowers down, he grabbed me and held me close to him. I could smell his cologne, which set me at ease. I wrapped my hands around his neck, never wanting to let go.

As we held each other, he whispered in my ear. "I'm so sorry Meggie."

He pulled back and led me to the couch. When we sat down, he took my hand and looke me in the eyes.

"Meggie. The reason I keep leaving you..is because..I-I'm scared."

"Scared of what Alex?"

"Of my feelings for you?" He whispered.

"What feelings?"

"I-I...Meggie, I feel the same way you do. I'm in love with you."

I sat there in shock as I looked at him. I couldn't believe it. "Alex.."

"Please don't tell me your feelings have changed. Because I've spent this week trying to figure out what I want. And I can only come up with one thing...and that's you."

He cupped my face and gently pulled it towards his. When his lips touched mine, I felt like my heart was going to explode with emotion. He gently parted my lips with his, and I felt his tongue gracefully enter my mouth.

We spent a few minutes teasing each others tongues with our own, before he broke the kiss. "Meggie, I love you with all my heart and soul. Will you be my girl?"

I smiled as one solitary tear rolled down my cheek, which he brushed away with his thumb. "Yes Alex. I love you. I've waited so long for this moment."

I leaned back into him for another kiss. This time, I put my all into it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around my waist, gently picking me up off the couch. I wrapped my legs around his waist, as he carried me upstairs to my room and shut the door. Stopping only to lock it.

This time I was getting my happy ending. And this time, it wasn't a dream. It was even better...

Alex laid me on the bed gently and began to work on taking my top off. After he pulled it from me, he dropped it to the floor. Then he returned to kissing. As our tongues explore each other's, I unbuttoned his dress shirt and pushed it to the floor. Then, broke the kiss to remove his wifebeater.

He straddled over me and ran his soft fingers down my body, then back up to unhook my bra. I lifted myself up enough for him to be able to reach the back of my bra. When he slid it off of me, he stared at me, causing me to blush.

"Don't be shy Meggie. You're absolutly stunning. I can't wait to see the rest of you."

We continued to kiss intensly, whie I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He stood up long enough to take his pants off, along with his shoes and socks. When he crawled back on top of me, he slid my pants off. Then, moved down to kiss my neck. Then, he trailed small feather like kisses over my chest, and down my stomach. Then, down one leg and back up the other.

He put his fingers under the band on my panties and looked up. "You sure youre ok with this?"

I nodded and whisered, "I am. I love you."

He smiled and pulled my panties down, and threw the behind him. He sat up and looked down at me. I was never really shy about my body, but something about Alex seeing me made me nervous. Maybe it was because of all the other beautiful women he'd been with before.

"Baby, don't be embarrassed. You're gorgeous." He whispered as he bent down to kiss me inner thigh.

He moved back up to me and kissed my lips again. I could feel his erection pushing through his boxers. I slid my hand to the front of him and began to rub him through the material. After a few seconds, I slid his boxers down and wrapped my hand around him.

He could sense I was nervous, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I know. But, I wanna experience everything with you. You know this is my first time, so I hope you won't be mad that I might not be that good."

"I could never be mad at you. And, I'm positive that you'll be great. Because I love you."

I smiled at him and kissed him again. He positioned himself over me and paused. "You ready?"

I nodded. Just as he was about to insert his member, I stopped him. "Wait! ...Will you hold my hand? I'm scared."

"Baby if you're scared we don't have to-"

"No..I'm not scared of that..I'm just scared of the pain I've heard about."

He grinned at me and kissed my nose, taking my hand he said, "Ok baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

Once he was inside me for a few moments, the paind started to fade. As he pumped in and out of me, he kissed my lips and neck.

"Ohh..Meggie..fuck you feel so good. You're so tight."

"Mmmm.Alex. More!"

"Ohh baby! OOOOHH!!"

We were both almost there. "Let it go baby. Cum inside me!"

"FUCK MEGAN! Are you ready? CUM WITH ME!"

"I'm ready Alex. HARDER!"

"OH FUCK!"

"ALEXXXX!"

After we both released, Alex collapsed on top of me. I stroked his head as our breathing began to calm down.

"Alex lifted his head up, "Megan?"

"Yes baby?"

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to admit my feelings for you."

"It's ok-"

"No. It's not. All these years. We could've been together all this time, and we could've been happy."

"Alex, what matters is we're together now. And we'll be together forever."

He smiled and rolled off of me. Laying as close as he could, he wrapped his arm around me and nestled his head in my neck.

"Goodnight baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. Thinking of my Alex and everything we could have in our future.





I woke up the next morning. Ecstatic that it wasn't a dream. I looked over at Alex. Still sleeping like a baby. He was most adorable when he was sleeping. The way he curled himself up and had his mouth open just a little. It was about the only time he wasn't saying something silly or making a silly face..or teasing his fans. Sometimes I felt sorry for the things he does to those poor girls while he's on stage. But, he's been like that since he was 15.

I noticed him start to stir a little in his sleep, so I shifted so I could watch him. When his eyes fluttered open, they met mine.

"Hey." He said horsely.

"Morning J." I said back.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes. I was just watching you. You're so cute."

"Cute? That's all?"

"Well, no. You're so much more."

He smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "How is my beautiful girlfriend today?"

"Perfect. ANd how is my gorgeous boyfriend today?"

"Perfect." He smile and stood up. "You going to get up or lay in bed all day?"

"I could stay in bed with you all day.."

"I could too. But, we're not alone in this house."

"Damn..you're right. Let's go get some breakfast."



We walked down to the kitchen, walking with Alex's arm around me and my head leaning against his chest. When we entered the room, everyone turned to look at us. My parents, Kat, and Nick. And my brother, Scott, who was visiting and had just gotten in.

My mom smiled, "Alex. I didn't know you were back."

"Yeah, um...I came to see Meggie..we um.."

I stepped in, "We're in love. We're officially together."

Everyone cheered like we had won a championship. Kat ran to me and hugged me. After I hugged my mom and dad, Kat pulled me into the living room to talk in private.

"Oh my God Megan what happened last night? When we got home, your door was shut and I know I heard a moan!"

"Shhh! Don't let anyone know." I smiled. "We made love last night."

"Awww. Was it good?"

"God yes Kat. Soooo good. I can't even describe what it felt like."

She smiled, "I'm so happy for you!" She hugged me then pulled back, "I know this is like your day and everyting, but can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What?"

"Well, um..would you be mad if I were to date Nick?"

"Oh my God Kat! No! Not at all! I'd be happy for you. Nick is a great guy. You two would be perfect together."

"Really? Good cause last night we made out for like a half an hour."

"Really!? You guys go good together."

"Who goes good together?" Alex walked in and asked.

"Kat and Nick." I answered.

Alex smiled at Kat. "You and Nick, huh? Well, looks like we can double now."

We spent the day around the house, hanging out with my parents. Denise came over, and once we told her, she couldn't stop smiling. When we were alone for a minute she wanted to talk.

"Megan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure Denise."

"I just wanted to tell you thanks."

"For what?"

"For always loving my son, unconditionally. And for always being there for him. For always trying to protect him. And for being the only person other than the other 4 guys, I've ever fully trusted with him."

I could feel a few tears building, "Thank you. I do love him."

"I know you do. And I know you always have. And the fact that you loved him before he was rich and famous means so much to me. Because, I know that you would never take advantage of him."

I nodded and smiled.

"I can't wait for the day I'll be telling you this while you're wearing a white gown."

I looked at her and couldn't help but smile. "Me too Denise. Me too."

Later on that day, Alex and I were cuddling on one of the patio chairs.

"I love you Meggie."

I looked up at him and smiled. "I love you Alex."

Kat came running up with Nick not far behind her.

"You guys wanna play?" Kat asked, Nick holding the basketball.

Alex looked down at me and I nodded. "Sure. You two against us?" He asked.

"Yep. This is gonna be easy!" Nick laughed, "I am so much better at b-ball than you!"

Alex smacked him on the head, "Obviously you've never seen Meggie play. She can even give Brian a run for his money."

Hearing that made Nick nervous, and it made him step his game up.



When I scored another basket, Nick screamed.

"YOU ARE SO CHEATING!"

"I AM NOT!" I laughed at him.

"Yes you are Megan. You have to be!"

Alex laughed at Nick, "No Nick. She's just that good."

"Ok.. next basket wins?"

I looked at him and smiled, "You're on!"

Alex and I put our all into our next play. When Nick got close to me, I stole the ball and shot. It bounced off the backboard, and went in. I was so excited, I whipped around not realizing Alex was so close. I ran into him, and our legs got twisted. We both fell to the ground, myself on top. I couldn't help but smile and lean down to kiss him.

Our small kiss quickly turned into making out. Nick and Kat decided to leave us there, making out on the driveway. After what seemed like only a few seconds, we heard someone clear their throat.

When I looked up, I saw Andrew.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He walked closer to me and grabbed me by my hair, throwing me back onto the ground. "You little bitch."

I screamed and begged, "What did I do?"

At the same time, Alex had jumped up to defend me, when Andrew pulled a gun. When I stood back up, I saw a gun pressed to Alex's head. I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was I'd do anything to make sure he was ok.

"Andrew! PLEASE DON'T! What do you want? I'll do anything! PLEASE..don't hurt him." I begged him between sobs.

"Anything?" He asked, then grinned evily. "Hmm. I can think of a few things. here's what you're going to do. You're going to go in there and get Kat. I know she's here, her car's here. Then, you're gonna bring her out here. And you two are coming with me."

I looked at Alex, then back to him. "Ok."

"And don't try anything. Or he WILL die. Understand?"

I nodded, and turned to go inside.

"Meggie, don't!"

I looked back at Alex. "I have to. If it means you'll be alright, I have no choice."

When I got back inside, I found everyone and told them.

"We can't let you go!" My mom said. "You're not going!"

"I have to." I said softly, "he's out there now. With a gun to Alex's head."

My dad looked at me, "Ok. Here's what we're going to do. You two are going to walk out there with him..and I'll be watching from the attic window. When he lets go of Alex, and I have a clear shot.. I'll take care of it. Give me 60 seconds to get upstairs, and load my gun."

I nodded, then counted. I walked out the door as I said 60. Kat was right behind me. We were both scared to death. But, to be honest, I was more scared for Alex. I couldn't live without him. If Andrew killed him, he may as well kill me too.

When he saw us, he lowered the gun. "Good. You two are very smart... Too bad you weren't smart enough."

With that I saw him raise the gun again at Alex. Knowing what he was going to do, I jumped in front of Alex, catching the bullet in myleft shoulder.

When the bullet hit me. All I could see was Alex making love to me. Followed by the biggest pain I've ever experienced. I heard another gun shot seconds after I hit the ground. When I looked back up, I saw Andrew on the ground.

Alex pulled me up in his lap and kissed my forehead. "Oh baby girl, why'd you do that?!"

I whimpered as he held me. "Alex?"

"Meggie, hold on you'll be fine. It's just your shoulder. You'll be fine baby."

"Alex, I-I love you."

"I love you too baby." He said, tears forming in his eyes.

I heard the rest run to me, crying. Asking if I was alright, and what I was thinking.

It seemed like hours before the police and ambulance got there. As soon as I was on the stretcher, my entire left arm went numb. I couldn't feel anything, even pain, from my shoulder all the way to my fingertips.

When they loaded me into the ambulance, Alex had tried to get on with me.

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't have passengers." The paramedic said.

But, I wouldn't have it. So, I made a scene. "NO! ALEX! LET HIM ON HERE! I WON'T GO ALONE!"

The paramedic looked at me and saw my fear, he showed a small smile, and nodded. "Ok. You can ride. But, please..don't let anyone know."

When Alex got in, he sat down and took my right hand. "Baby, you're gonna be fine. You know that right? The medics already told me you'd be fine.You'll just have pai for a while."

He kissed my lips, and brushed my tears away. "I love you. I can't believe you did that."

"Why not? Baby, I-"

Suddenly, everything started to become blurry. I was losing conciousness. I struggled to speak, "Al-Alex..I can't..everythings so-so blurry."

"Sir? What's happening to her? Is she alright?"

"She must've lost more blood than we speculated. If we don't get a match for her blood type, she..." He trailed off.

"Oh my God." Alex whispered. "No." He shook his head and looked back down at me. "Baby, can you hear me."

I could hear him. But, I couldn't see him. Or answer him.

**AJ's POV**

I was sitting by her bed, another day in this hospital. I heard the door open and turned around to see Kevin.

"Hey J. How is she?"

"The same. She's been in this como for almost a week Kev. What if she-" I couldn't finish. I couldn't bear to think of my life without her.

"She'll wake up man. She will. Have faith."

"Have faith." I said in a pissy tone. "Everyone keeps telling me to have faith. Well, I would if she'd wake up."

I stood up to face Kevin, "Kev, we were together one day. Not even a full 24 hours, and this is what happens?! Why is God punishing me so much? I thought I had already paid my time."

"AJ. God is not punishing you."

"Then why is he trying to take my Meggie away from me?" I sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand, brought it to my face and kissed it.

"J, how long have you been in this room?"

"Since she was brought here. I've left a few times to get a shower. But, other than that..I've stayed here with her. I go down to the gift shop every morning to get her fresh flowers for when she wakes up."

"Have you slept?"

"I've gotten a few hours here and there, but I refuse to sleep until she's alright."

Kevin looked at me.. "And don't say it Kev. If it was Kristen you'd be the same way."

He nodded because he knew I was right.

"So are the rest of the guys here?"

"Yeah, they're all at your mom's house, she's bringing everyone with her today. The wives are here too. Everyone's really worried about her..and you."

"Why me?"

"Alex.. you know why. We're afraid you'll lose yourself."

I nodded. They were right, I had thought about it. "To be honest Kev. That bottle has never sounded so good to me. But, I'm not going to give in. I'm not."

He hugged me. "I've never been so proud of you."

"Me either."

My eyes widened, and I looked over, seeing her eyes looking back at me.

"MEGGIE!"

I rushed back to her and kissed her, avoiding all contact with her arm.

"Are you ok?"

"I think so. What happened?"

"I'll go get the doctor. I'm glad you ok Megs." Kevin said.



***Megans POV***


I asked Alex what had happened, and he began to tell me. As he told me the story. It all came back to me.

"I remember now Alex."

"Why did you do it Meggie? I could have lost you."

Yeah, but if I didn't, I could have lost you."

He looked at me, and I could tell he was angry with me.

"Alex, please don't be mad. I'm fine."

"I'm not mad." He smiled and pushed the hair out of my face. "I was just so scared. I've been so scared for 6 days."

"I'm sorry. But, I'm fine now. And I swear something else had better not go wrong to prevent us being together.'

"It won't. I'll do everything in my power to make sure of it."


The doctor walked in to go over my tests with Alex and me. He told me I'd have to go to rehab 5 days a week for at least two months to get my arm back to normal And I was told that if I experienced any type of sharp pains, to return to the hospital for a checkup. When I agreed to do as I was told, he released me. Under the supervision of Alex. Who, I know was going to take this very seriously.


Alex called my parents and Denise so everyone could meet at my house. When we pulled up, Alex ran to my door, and helped me out. He practically carried me inside. When I sat on the couch, he knelt down and took off my shoes. Then, made sure I was comfortable and went to get me a drink.

My mom sat with me and rubbed my feet.

"I'm so happy you're ok Megan."

I smiled at her, "I know momma. I know."

"So, how are you and Alex?"

"We're perfect. I will marry him one day momma. I will. And I wil have his children."

She smiled at me. "I always knew you two would end up together. I have something for you. I'll be right back."

She ran upstairs and came back down a few minutes later. Alex took her place on the couch, but she didn't seem to mind. She handed me a box, wrapped in pink paper with white hearts. I opened it and saw something familar. When I picked it up, I saw what it was. It was Pookie. Pookie was the teddy bear Alex won for me at the carnival back in like 94. I adored him, until I lost him one summer when I was visiting on tour.

"Momma, where'd you find him?" I asked excitedly."

"I found him in the attic a few days ago. I was looking through some pictures of you and saw him."

I hugged her tight, "Thank you momma! I thought I lost him on tour! Look Alex! It's Pookie!"

I cudded Pookie tight, and leaned over to kiss Alex. "I see baby." He said and kissed me back.

"I love you."

"I love you too Meggie."

Can you believe it's been almost 6 months since the whole shooting thing? I can't. Tomorrow is our six month anniversary. These have been the absolute happiest months of my life. Alex is in L.A. right now. They're recording for their new album. He's flying home tonight to be with me. His flight is due at 3:15 am. And I can't wait. I haven't seen him in almost a week!

Kat and Nick are also officially a couple now. Their anniversary is exactly one month after ours. Oh and also, Kat and I share an apartment now. Not too far away from my parents and Denise.

"Megan?"

"I'm in the kitchen!"

Kat walked in holding a package from the mail. "This came for you. Hmm. Wonder who it could be from?"

I giggled. "Aw, he's so sweet. But, what would it be? I'm sure he'd give me my anniversary present tomorrow.."

"Well, why don't you open and find out." She smiled.

I opened the envelope and saw a card. It was a 'just to say I love you' card. Inside, it had a smaller envelope. When I opened it, I found a pre-paid visa debit card and a note.

'Meggie, this card has 500 dollars on it. I want you to go out and buy yourself an entire new outfit for tomorrow. New dress, shoes, everything. If it's not enough, use the emergency credit card I gave you. And don't call me to argue. I want to spend my mone on you. Love you baby.

P.S. don't let me see the outfit until it's on you.'

"What is it Megan?"

"It's a debit card to but an outfit for tomorrow..God where is he taking me?"

"I don't know, but knowing AJ, probably somewhere spectacular."

"Well, are you gonna go with me and help me choose?"

"Of course! Let me go change!"


That afternoon, we went to the mall. I wasn't sure what kind of look I wanted to go for. But, I did know I wanted to look sexy, sophisticate, pretty, and adorable at the same time. We were walking and I heard Kat.

"Oh Megan! Come here!"

She grabbed my arm and pulled me into a store.

"This is the perfect dress!" She pulled it off the rack and held it up.

She was right. It was perfect. It was a black, silk dress. It had thin straps, and a little black bow with small white polka dots on the front. I tried it on and it fit perfectly. It stopped just a few inches above my knees.

When I walked out of the dressing room, I found Kat. "Kat? What do ya think?"

"Oh my God Megan, AJ is gonna pass out when he sees you in that!"

"Really? I love it too!"

After I paid for the dress, we went on a mission for the perfect shoes. After three different stores, I finally found them. They were the cutest shoes I'd ever seen. They were black Prada pumps with charcoal trim. And they even had a bow on each toe to match my dress.

After I found my size and paid, I had 195 dollars left. So, I decided to use it on some new perfume and a purse to match.

That night after a full day of shopping, we got home around midnight. I ran into my room to hide my dress and shoes. Then, after I made me and Kat a quick mac and cheese dinner, I decided to take a quik nap on the couch so I could be up when Alex got in. He told me not to dare go to the airport at that time because he'd worry about me with the weirdos. He said Nick would be with him so he could see Kat. And that they'd take a cab. So, I stayed at home.




I heard the door close and it woke me. When I sat up I could see people walking towards me. At first I was a little nervous. But, then I realized it was Nick and Alex.

I stood up and walked to them. I hugged Nick, because he was first. Then he ran back to Kat's room. Then, I jumped into Alex's arms and kissed him deeply.

"Meggie, why are you awake?"

"I took a nap on the couch. I wanted to be awake when you got here. I missed you."

"I missed you too." He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.

"You tired? We can go up to bed. Or we can..." I winked.

"Actually, you might think I'm cheesy..but, I was thinking maybe we could wait until tomorrow to make love. You know, make it more special."

"Aww. Alex, that sounds good. I can't wait. Let's go to bed then. You look so sleepy."

He smiled at me and said, "I am. I can't sleep without my arms around you."

"I'm the same way. I've slept like hell the past few days. I miss feeling safe and warm with you in bed."

That night, we slept pressed against each other. Alex had one arm wrapped around me hold me, while the other was holding my hand. I rested my head against his chest listening to his heartbeat as I drifted off. I could've stayed like that forever.

Before I was asleep, I whispered, "Good night Alex. I love you."

I thought he was asleep, but he whispered back. "I love you Meggie." He held me tighter and kissed my head.

That morning I woke to find an empty bed. I looked around the room, but no Alex. But I did find a small note on his pillow.

'Morning baby. Meet me in your living room at 7 pm. Love you.'

I looked at the time, it was noon. I went into the kitchen for some breakfast and saw Kat.

"Hey"

"Hey. Nice of you to wake up."

"Shut up. I was only asleep for like 8 or 9 hours. Where's Nick?"

"He's with AJ. They won't tell me, so no use in asking." She laughed.

"Damn. What am I gonna do to kill 5 hours?"

"Why 5 hours?"

"Well, Alex left me a nte to meet him in the living room at 7, so I figured I could start getting ready at 5. But, it's only 12."

"Oh..gotcha. Well, lets just watch some movies."

"Ok..sounds good."



Well, five as finally come around. Actually, 5:25. I lost track of time.

After spendind an hour and fifteen minutes getting ready, I looked in the miror and was completely satisfied. Kat came in my room to give me any final makeup advice.

"Megan. You look gorgeous!"

"Really? I don't know. Is this too much?"

"Not at all. I just saw AJ. He's looking very very good."

"Yeah? What's he wearing?"

"He's got on a suit. And he shaved."

"As in he has no facial hair?"

"Yep."

"Aww. Doesn't he look like he's still fifteen? So adorable."

"God girl, you've got it bad."

"I always have."

"You two are so cute together. I love it."

I smiled and bluhed. "What about you and Nick? How are things going?"

"Wonderful. I-I've fallen in love with him."

"Did you tell him?"

"No. Not yet, but I may tonight...you better get going! It's 6:58!"

I walked into the living room and saw Alex. As he turned around, I saw his mouth drop. As did mine. He looked more gorgeous than I have ever seen.

I walked towards him, smiling. "Hi Alex."

He stared at me and said, "Oh my-Megan you look...wow." He stuttered and then smiled.

"Thanks Alex. So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." He kissed my cheek and took my hand, leading me to the limo outside.

"Alex! A limo?!"

"Yes. Only the best tonight...and don't give me that look. I want to spend the money."

"Ok..thank you for the new outfit."

"No baby. Thank you." He said leaning over in his seat to kiss me, sliding his hand up to my breast.

"Alex!" I started to blush, because the divider was not up in the limo.

"What? You're my girl. And I like to touch you." He winked and smiled at me slyly.

"Well, I like when you touch me. But, we're not alone."

"Ok. I'll wait til later."


That night, Alex took me out to dinner. It was the most expensive looking place I had ever seen. After that, he took me sailing on a private boat. We laid under the stars together just kissing and talking. It was amazing that after all these years, we never ran out of things to talk about.

While we were on the boat, he gave me my present.

"Baby. This is for you."

"Aw. What is it?"

"Open it and see." He chuckled.

When I opened the box, I saw a necklace. It was a heart pendant with two birth stones.

"Aw Alex!"

He put it on me, "You like it? It's got mine and your birth stones in a heart. Because now our hearts are one."

I turned around and kissed him. "Thank you baby. I love it! Here's yours."

I handed him his present. "What'd you get me?!" He asked, sounding like a four year old.

"Open it and see!"

"Baby, I love it!" He grabbed the picture of us I had framed. It was taken a few months ago, when we were on the beach. I was wearing my bahing suit top and shorts, while he just had on his swim trunks. I was on his back and he had ahold of my ankles. Smiles plastered on our faces.

"I thought you would."

He looked at me and smiled, "Ready to go back home?"

"Yes, I believe so." I replied, catching on to what he was saying.

When we got back to my apartment, we didn't even bother to think if Kat and Nick were there. By the time we made it to the hallway by my room, we were both praccally naked.

We entered my room and fell on the bed, finishing taking each others clothing off. Never parting our lips. It was amazing that after six months, Alex was still so gentle with me. He took care of me in every way. His hands were always soft and loving. And the way he kissed my body made me melt. And then, there was the rest of his body...

That night, we spent three hours making love. We took turns being in control, and tried different ways to please each other.

Alex held me tight, "I love you so much baby."

"I love you Alex."

"Goodnight. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary babe. Goodnight."

When I woke up the next morning, Alex was watching me sleep.

"Alexxx..why are you watching me?" I asked tiredly.

"You're so beautiful, how could I not?" He smirked.

I blushed, "Baby." I looked at him and softly stroked his cheek with my hand. "I love you so much."

"I love you too baby. Wanna get up and get some breakfast?"

"Mmmm. I wanna lay here all day in your arms and never get up. Ever."

I snuggled closer to him and wrapped my arms around his bare waist.

"Meggie, I would love nothing more than to spend all day in bed with you..but, I have a flight tonight at 8."

"I know." I said sadly, "I wish you didn't have to go."

"Me too baby...hey, how about you come with me?"

"Alex, I - I don't know.."

"Oh come on. It'll be just like old times. And Kat can come too. Then, when we're working you guys can hang out."

"Let me ask Kat." I looked in his eyes, "But, I'm going either way."

He pulled me close and kissed me.


A few minutes later, we got out of bed to get ready for our day. After sharing a rather long shower, we got dressed and headed into the kitchen to make some breakfast. Just as we were about to choose what to make, Kat and Nick walked in with two bags and four drinks.

"Yo J." Nick said, "We got Mickey D's."

Alex grinned and took our bag, "Thanks man. You read my mind."

The four of us sat at the table sharing stories over our breakfast. I was trying to think of the best time to ask Kat. I didn't know if she'd want to go or not. I also started to wonder if Nick had asked her to go. If Nick would even want her to go. I thought he was in love with her, but..Nick has never had a good relationship.

After a minute or two of silence, I decided to speak up.

"Hey Kat."

"Yeah."

"I'm leaving tonight with Alex. I'm gonna be joining him on tour. And I was wondering if you-"

"Nick asked me to go too!"

We jumped up to hug each other, while Nick and Alex looked at each other like we were crazy.

"This is gonna be awesome! Kat touring with the boys is so much fun. The pranks, the parties, the cities."

"I can't wait! But, you're leaving tonight?"

"Yeah, with Alex..are you not going tonight?"

"No. I'm flying out tomorrow afternoon. I need time to pack and get things settled."

"Oh. I didn't think about that."

I turned to Alex to ask if I should stay and fly out with Kat. "Baby, should I wait and meet up with you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that's probably the smart thing to do. That way you can pack and get things done. I guess I can go one more night without you. Although, I don't wanna." He was beginning to whine like a little boy.

"I don't want to either, but we can talk on the phone until we fall asleep."

I walked back to him and hugged him. When he whispered in my ear, "You know what else we can do on the phone?"

I giggled, and that only made him keep going.

"Phone sex baby. Tonight, while we're thousands of miles apart, we can still make each other moan."

"Alex, you're turning me on so much right now."

"Really? Shall I keep going?"

"I'm not so sure about that babe."

"Why? Don't you want to touch me? Don't you want to touch yourself while thinking of me?"

"ALEX!" I exclaimed as I jumped out of his arms and tried to run away.

I made it to the couch before he caught me. He grabbed my arms and held me tight, as his lips touched mine with force. His kisses always make my knees week, so when I felt his tonuge slip into my mouth, I lost my balance and fell onto the couch. He followed and laid over me. As we kissed, I ran my hands down his back, then pulled his shirt up. He pulled back long enough for me to slide the shirt off of him.

We were so lost in our own moment, we forgot that Kat and Nick were there. And, we didn't even hear the knock at the door. We heard someone clear their throat and looked up. There was Denise, standing over us watching. I was so embarassed, I hid my face in his chest.

"Mom! When did you get here?!"

"I walked in as soon as Megan took your shirt off."

Alex got off of me and helped me stand up. I bent down to pick up his shirt and hand it to him.

"Denise, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over us."

She smiled and hugged me. "Don't worry Megan. I know you two are having..ya know."

I was never so embarassed in all my life. And I'm guessing neither was Alex.

"MOM!"

"Well, Alex was I supposed to think you finally get the girl you've been in love with since you could walk and haven't touched her?"

"OK MOM! Can we drop this subject please?"

"Sure sweetie." She said.

"Thank you. What brings you here anyway?"

"Well.." She started as she pulled a magazine out of her purse. "I was at the store, and saw this. You might want to contact your lawyer."

Alex took he magazine and and yelled.

"What the fuck?!"

I peeked over his arms to see. It was one of those tabloids. It's cover story for the week was 'Backstreet Girlfriend Caught Cheating.'

At first, I just found it so ridiulous I laughed. Then, Alex read some of the article out loud. It claimed a source close to Alex told the magazine that I was using him for fame and money. It also said that I was caught backstage at a concert with another man. Alex's best friend to be exact.

"Oh my God! Who said that?" I was on the verge of tears, just thinking of all the horrible things fans were gonna say. I was always accepted by the fans. Now, I wouldn't be.

"I dunno sweetie." Denise said softly as she rubbed my arm.

"First of all..I haven't been to a concert in like 4 years! And, where would they get that I cheated?"

"There's a picture." Alex said in a monotone voice.

"A what?!"

"A picture. It's of you. Only wearing a bra and panties."

I looked at him in confusion. Then, when I saw the magazine, I saw the picture. It was me. And I was in my underwear. The underwear he had bought for me as a gift.

"Alex..how'd they get this picture?"

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. I could see the tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know Megan. How did they?"

He let the magazine fall to the floor, and walked out the door, ignoring my pleas for him to stop.

I caught up with Alex as he was getting in his car. I grabbed his arm and started to beg him to talk to me.

"Alex please! You know me! I would never hurt you!" I said through my tears.

"Megan I can't be here right now! Let go of me!" He pulled his arm back, jumped in his car, and drove off.

I just stood there in the parking lot, watching his car drive off and soon disappear. I stood there crying minutes after he had left. I kept thinking that he would realize what he did and come back. But, he didn't.

When I heard Denise, Kat, and Nick come outside, I didn't look at them. I just walked away. I went back upstairs, grabbed my purse and left. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't stay there, and I wanted to be left alone.

I couldn't understand how they had gotten a picture of me. Someone had to have been spying on us. Because I would never be seen undressed. And, I certainly would never cheat on Alex. I would never do anything to hurt him.

After driving around aimlessly for a while, I realized I was at the docks. I parked in the same place Alex had taken me the night before to celebrate our anniversary. I walked over the the bench I saw close to the water, and sat down. I looked out at the water, praying that a miracle would happen and Alex would come back to me.

My cell phone rang, and I looked down to see who it was. It was Denise so I ignored it. Then, another came in from Kat's phone. Again, I ignored it. When my phone rang again, I let out an annoyed yell.

"People I don't want to talk!"

"Maybe they want to make sure you're ok."

I heard his voice and felt my heart stop. He sat next to me on the bench. I looked over at him and saw a tear roll down his cheek under his sunglasses.

"Alex.." I sighed.

"Don't Megan. Just don't."

I reached over and rubbed his arm.

"MEGAN STOP!"

I jumped back in shock. Alex had never yelled at me. Even when we fight, he would never be mean or yell. I sat there, trying to be strong and fight back tears.

"Alex, I don't know what to say except I didn't do it." I whimpered and lost my battle with my tears.

"Megan. There's a picture." He said. He said it with such anger and hate, I couldn't help but let out another whimper.

"I know there's a picture. But, I don't understand how there's a picture."

He looked over at me and took off his sunglasses. When he did, I saw his eyes. They were red and puffy, swollen from crying.

He was staring in my eyes, like he was trying to catch if I was lying.

"Megan?" He whispered.

"Alex. You know me. I would never. I love you."

"I just don't understand. I want nothing more than to believe you. But, the picture. That's what confuses me..I just don't know what to do."

"Believe me. That's what you should do." We sat in silence for a moment before I continued. "I'm going to that magazine's office tomorrow. I'm taking a lawyer. I am finding out where that picture came from. Who took it. And where he took it."

I stood up and walked away, when I got into my car, I turned around and saw him watching me.

"I love you Alex. And I will prove to you that I didn't cheat."

I started my car and looked over one last time before putting it in gear. I saw Alex running towards me, so I kept it in park and rolled the window down.

"Megan! Wait!" He bent down and looked in my window. He reached his hand in and stroked my cheek. "I don't care about the picture. I believe you. I know you'd never hurt me. I'm sorry I didn't believe you...I just got so scared that I would lose you and I didn't know how to handle it. I can't live without you baby."

I cried a little more and got out of the car. "Alex. Come here. You're never going to lose me. Got it? Never. I couldn't live without you either."

When I wrapped my arms around him, I almost squeezed him to death. He held me as tight as he could and ran his hand through my hair before pulling me in for a deep, intense kiss. A kiss that seemed to stop time and send the two of us into our own world, as if there were no one else around.

We stood there at my car making out. It was full of passion, lust, and love all at once. I could feel rain drops start to hit my face, but we still didn't stop. It only made it even more sexy. When the rain began to pour, we pulled apart long enough for me to say three words.

"I love you-"

I barely got the word 'you' out before Alex cut me off with his lips. After a few more minutes, we stopped and Alex looked around. Then, back at me and smiled. He kissed me once more, pulling me down to the ground with him. He laid me down and started to nibble on my neck. Running his hands down my body and over my pants.

Just the slightest touch of his hand there turned me on more than anyone could imagine. He moved back up to kiss my lips. At the same time, he was unzipping his pants and pulled mine down slightly. The fact that we could get caught by someone at any moment was making it more intense. And the rain was another factor.

As we laid there kissing, I ran my hand through his hair, and down his back. He trailed his kisses dwon my neck once more, then over to my ear. He gently tugged on my ear lobe and groaned in my ear. Hearing that deep, raspy voice made my entire body tingle. He moved his mouth back to my neck, where he decided to nibble and more than likely give me a very notciable hickey.

The rain had began to let up, and there were only a few drops here and there. He looked in my eyes and reached his hand down. He had already taken my pants and panties down just enough to give him room to make love to me. He slightly ran the tip of his finger over my slit and smiled at me. Then, again. Only this time he inserted his finger enough to rub my clit.

He decided to tease me, by gently pinching my clit and tugging on it lightly. Then, rubbing it again. He quickly replaced his finger with his thumb when he inserted two deep inside me. He fingered me slowly as he kept his eyes on mine. When he could feel that I was starting to tighten up, he removed his fingers. I let out a moan when he did, as I wanted to cum.

He smirked and brought his hand up to his mouth. He had his fingers on his lips and then I grabbed them. I brought his hand to my lips, and sucked his fingers clean, tasting myself on his hand. He was so turned on at the sight, I could feel his cock growing harder. He grunted soflty and postioned himself over me.

We didn't speak one word as he pressed himself inside me. We were both fully clothed, the only exposed parts of our bodies were covered by each other. He pushed himself deeper inside me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding onto him tight as he thrusted in and out of me.

We could feel each other getting close. He picked up his pace and bent down to kiss my lips. As we came, we held each other and stared in one another's eyes. After, we laid there a moment, just listening to each other breathe.

"Wow." Alex finally said.

"Who would've thought making love outside in the rain, and in public could be so good." I smiled as a buttoned my pants back.

"I love you Meggie. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"Alex, it's ok. I love you. And I'm still going to find out where that picture came from."

He helped me up, "Yes. And I'm going to help you." He kissed me for a few minutes before the rain started again. "I'll meet you back at you're apartment, since we're in separate cars." He hugged me one more time and whispered in my ear, "That was amazing baby. I love you." He smiled and kissed me gently before walking to his car.

I got into my car and looked in my mirror. I could see Alex getting into his car that was parked a few feet from mine. As we both drove of, I couldn't help but relive every minute of what had just happened. Feeling myself being turned on again. It was by far, the best we had ever had.

That night, Alex and Nick flew back to LA, while Kat and I packed and got ready to join them. We would be touring with them, and weren't sure how long we'd be with them. We helped each other pack, while I told stories of touring with the boys. I told her to make sure she stays outta pranks, because they always get revenge on each other. And each prank is always worse than the one before.

That night, in bed, I tossed and turned. I was completely wired, I was so anxious to be on tour and to hang out with all the guys again. Nick said Kevin would be visiting for a few days, and that made me even more anxious. Kevin and I always had a special relationship. He's like my brother, well actually, I'm closer to him than my actual brother. Anytime I have a problem, I can always go to Kev if J isn't there. Especially, if the problem is about J.

I looked over at my clock, 2:16. I closed my eyes and attempted to drift off one last time. I layed there in the silence, then I heard my phone go off. I jumped up to answer it. I looked at te id to see it was Alex.

"Hey baby."

"Hey. Did I wake you?" He said in a quiet tone.

"No..I'm o anxious, I can't sleep. I need to be in your arms." I whined

"I need you in my arms. I can't wait til tomorrow. You know what time you'll get in?"

"If my flight's on time, I should be there at 3:30."

"Great! We have soundcheck around 2, then nothing til the show at 8. So, I can pick you up."

"That's great, but are you sure you don't wanna send Marc? I mean, you'll be mobbed." I giggled.

'Naw. I wanna pick you up and I don't care. They can leave us be. I'm gonna grab you and kiss you in that airport."

"Mmmm. I can't wait."

There was a silence for a few seconds. Then, I heard Alex moan softly.

"Babe, what are you dong?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

"Thinking of you. On top of me." His voice was so deep and low, I could feel myself getting wet at
the thought of him stroking himself.

"Ohhh..Alex don't say that. You're gonna make me horny and I can't have you."

"But, I told you tonight we were gonna have some sexy phone time. What are you wearing baby?"

I giggled and thought I'd play along and let him have his fun. "One of your wifebeaters and a pair of panties."

"Mmm..what kind of panties baby?"

"Well..they're black, lacey boy shorts. Ya know, the kind that show half of my ass."

"Oh Meggie..Take of the wife beater..throw it on the floor."

At first, I wasn't gonna really do it, just tell him I did..but, for some reason, I really did take it off and throw it on the floor. "Ok baby..it's off. Now what should I do?" I asked in a little innocent voice.

"Now, take off your panties. Make sure you're naked baby." He groaned into the phone, I could tell he was gonna enjoy this. And I started to think I would too.

I did as I was told, "They're off baby. I'm naked. I wish you were here to touch me. I need to be touched."

"Oh God baby. Touch yourself. Take your left hand and play with you nipples. And take your other hand and finger yourself. Let me hear you moan."

Again, I did as instructed, and loved every minute of it. "Mmmm Alex, I want you to be inside me..deep inside me." I moaned out.

I continued to play with my pussy, I was rubbing my clit and moaning into the phone. Hearing me moan, was making Alex even hornier. Which meant he was going harder on himself, which made him moan louder. It was just a continuous chain of making each other hot.

After a few minutes, he told me he was almost ready. "Baby, are you ready? Because I'm almost there."

"Mmmm..Alex! Yes. I'm...Ooohh!"

MEG...Oh my God! UGH!"

We both stayed silent for a minute to catch our breaths.

"Alex?"

"Yes baby?"

I coud tell he was smiling.

"That was something else."

"Sure was..think you can sleep now?"

"I think so. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye baby."

I hung up my phone and snuggled with the covers. I closed my eyes and fell right to sleep, with thoughts of my Alex in my head.





The flight to LA was long and boring. Kat slept most of the way there, so I just mostly stared out the window. When we landed, we went out to baggage claim to get our bags. I looked around for Alex, but saw no one.

We stood in the front of the airport for a few minutes, waiting for someone to pick us up. After about a half an hour, I called Alex's cell. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. Kat tried Nick's cell. It was the same. I was starting to get worried, so I called Brian, Howie, LeighAnne, and Marcus. None of them answered.

I turned and looked at Kat. "Kat. I'm getting scared now. No one is answering."

"Something bad happened. I just know it." Kat sat down and let a few tears fall.

I sat next to her and tried to think of who else to call. I tried some of security, but they hadn't seen anyone. I decided to try Kev, even though he wasn't with them. He answered after two rings.

"Hey Megs!"

"Kevin!"

"Meggie what's wrong?"

"Kat and I are at the airport in LA. Alex was supposed to pick us up over 30 minutes ago. He still isn't here. He's not answering his phone. And neither is Nick, Brian, Howie, LeighAnne, and Marcus. I was hoping maybe you might have talked to someone and known what's up."

"Meg, I'm sorry but I haven't. Something must be really wrong if no one is answering. Did you call any other security?"

"Yeah, Q hasn't seen them all day. And neither have the others. I'm really scared Kev."

"Don't jump to conclusions Meg, I'm sure everyone's fine. Maybe they're just stuck in traffic and don't know their phones are off.."

"All of them have their phones off?!"

"Well, you've got a point. Look. Get a cab to take you to the hotel. Then, call Q and find out where the show is. Go to the venue and wait for them. Someone has to show up at some point and tell you what's going on."

"Ok Kev. Thanks."

"No problem. And let me know what's ging on k?"

"Ok I wil. Bye Kev, love you."

"Love you too Meg, bye."

By the time Kat and I got to the hotel, we were both sick with worry. I called Q and we met up to try and find the guys. He had spare keys to all the rooms, so we went searching. We tried all their rooms, and found no one. So we set out for the venue.

When we got there, the place was surrounded in police cars and there were two ambulances. I could feel myself trying to hold back vomit. I jumped out of the car before it even came to a stop and ran. I looked around to see who was on the strechers first. When I didn't see anyone, I got more nervous. What if something happened and they couldn't move the person? And who was it?

I could hear Q yelling behind me to try and stop me. But, all I cared about was if Alex was ok. And everyone else. When I got inside, I saw police officers around, questioning people. I saw an officer questioning Nick and Howie. Then, I saw a man in cuffs being taken out to the car.

I looked towards the stage and felt my heart practically jump out of my chest. I saw him sitting on the stage, perfectly fine. He was kicking his legs like a little boy and he had his head down. I smiled at him when he looked up at me. His face grew into an enormous grin, and I took off to him. I pushed through people that were in my way and jumped into his arms.

"Alex! Oh my God you're ok! What happened?"

He pulled back and I saw the look on his face. It was a cross between fear, sadness, and relief. "I'm fine baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there to get you. But, B-Baylee."

"What happened? Where's Baylee?"

"H-he's over there talking to the police. Someone...someone tried to kidnap him."

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. "Oh my God! Is he ok?! How!? Who!?"

He sat down on the stage and pulled me close. "We were doing soundcheck, everything was going as usual. Then, we heard this heart shattering scream. We all knew it was him. We looked around and saw LeighAnne running off the stage. Then, we saw someone trying to drag him out of the venue.."

He started to get choked up and stopped speaking for a minute. I rubbed his arm as he continued.

"Marc jumped on the guy and took him down, but not before he hit Bay a few times. That scream, Meg. I can still hear it." He whispered, and tried to go on. "I saw Bay hit the floor, and the guy started to hit him. None of us could get to him in time to stop him. Then, when Marc finally got to him, he had to fight him off."

"Oh my God," I whispered. "What happened after that?"

He sighed and looked at me, tears filling is eyes again. "Marc took him down. He knocked him out. Then, a few of the venue's guards ran to help and held the guy there while Nick called 911, and Marc grabbed Baylee and brought him to Leigh and Bri. My God Meg, I never in my life wanna hear a child I love scream and cry like that again."

I hugged him tight and whispered in is ear. "I know baby."

"I'm gonna go see him, you coming?"

"Of course. I have to make sure my little guy's alright." I smiled

We walked over to where the police were talking to Brian, LeighAnne, and Baylee. The officer was speaking directly to Brian and LeighAnne, so we sat down with Baylee. I looked at him as I sat. He had a few bruises on his arms and a band-aid on his cheek. Other than that he looked fine. Thank God.

"Hey Bay." I said as I sat down.

"Hey buddy." Alex said, he kneeled down in front of him.

"Hi." Baylee answered back, he barely whispered it, and he didn't even look at us.

I softly wrapped my arm around him to hug him, "You ok Bay?" I asked. He just sat there. After a few minutes he looked up at Alex and hugged him.

"Uncle AJ. Don't let him hurt me again. Please don't." He hugged Alex tight and started to cry.

"It's ok buddy. He won't. We won't let him."

Alex looked over at Brian and LeighAnne. LeighAnne came over to tell Baylee what was going on.

"Bay sweetie. The man that hurt you will never hurt you again. He's going to prison and he's gonna be there forever. Ok baby?"

Baylee, slowly loosened his grip on Lex and nodded. "How about we go back to the hotel and nap?" I asked Baylee. We can leave the boys here to perform and me, you, and mommy can go rest. How's that sound?"

He smiled a little and nodded. I turned to tell Alex where we were goin and that I'd see him after the show. As we were leaving, we saw Q and Kat talking to Nick and Howie. We told them where we were going and Kat decided to join us. We stopped and got ice cream on the way back to the hotel.

We decided to go to Brian and LeighAnne's room and let Baylee nap. We spent the rest of the evening talking and trying to help LeighAnne calm down a little after a tragic day. We were all watching a movie and I looked over to see her finally asleep. I snuck out into the other room with Kat. We just looked at each other in shock over the day.

"My God Kat."

"I know."

"Why can't we have a drama free day?" I laughed

"I don't know." She laughed back.

"I gotta call Kev and let him know."

Kevin answered after one ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kev, it's Megan."

"Hey, I'm actually on the other line with Brian."

"Oh, ok. Well then I'm sure he's gonna tell you what happened. I'll let you go."

"Ok. I'll call you tomorrow."

"K. Bye Kev. Love you."

"Love you too lil sis. Bye."

I looked over at Kat, "Thank god this day is almost over."

"Let's go to our rooms and get in our beds!" Kat said.

I laughed and agreed. I said goodnight to Kat and went into my room and waited for Alex. Naked under the covers. Giggling to myself when I thought about what his reaction would be.

Around 11:30 that night, I heard the door of our room open. It was dark, but I could still see Alex somewhat. He crept over to the bed, so I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I felt him kiss my forehead, before he walked away. I saw the bathroom light come on, and heard the water start. Which gave me an idea.

I got out of bed and silently walked into the bathroom. I could see his body through the clear glass shower door. I opened the door slowly and smiled softly at him. He held out his hand to help me into the shower and pulled me close to kiss me.

"Hey baby."

"Hey..how was tonight? How's Brian?"

"Tonight was fine, I guess. It was kinda quiet backstage, so that tells ya how Brian is."

I nodded and rested my head on his chest, letting the water run down our bodies. "LeighAnne finally fell asleep a few hours ago. We left around 10. Hopefully they'll all get over this. I can't even imagine someone trying to take my child."

"I know. I just wish I would've done something. I mean..he depends on us to keep him safe. And what do we do? Let him walk in the venue alone."

"Alex don't do that. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't any of you guys fault. And you guys did protect him. You had Marc there. That saved his life."

"Yeah.." He said quietly.

I rubbed my hands over his chest, washing the water off of him. "How about we finish up here, and go to bed. You look like you need some sleep."

"That sounds wonderful babe. I'm sorry though."

"For what?"

"For not feeling up to making love. I was looking forward to it all day." He frowned and rinsed my hair.

I turned around tolook at him again, "Alex. Do not be sorry. We have all night tomorrow. We can make it more special."

He leaned down and gently kissed my lips as he reached over to turn the water off. When he opened the shower door, he grabbed a towell and wrapped it around me. After I stepped out, I hel out a towell for him that he wrapped around his waist.

We walked back to our bed and he put on a pai of boxers and got in bed. I smiled at him and walked over to my suitcase for a pair of panties and a tank top. After I was dressed, I laid down next to him and kissed his cheek.

"I think this is the first time I've actually been dressed in bed with you since we've been together." I giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckled softly, and said "And hopefully it'll be the last time."







The next day, things were a lot better. We were at the venue getting ready for soundcheck. The concert the night before sold out in an hour, so the boys added another show for the same city. LeighAnne and Brian were laughing and Baylee was upbeat and hyper like normal. Alex and I were having a blast playing with Bay. Alex had him in his arms, letting him fly through the air like an airplane. Then, Alex bent down ad whispered in his ear. Next thing I know, they're both on top of me yelling out 'PILE ON MEGAN!'

As I tried to get out, Alex whispered in his ear again, this time they tickled me. After I yelped for help a few times, Baylee ran off giggling. Alex however, stayed. He had me pinned to the floor and wouldn't stop for anything.

"Alex! S-stop! P-p-ple-please!"

"T-t-today junior!" He said, laughing hysterically.

"Get off me! Help! Nick! Help me!"

Nick walked over to us and just laughed. "I'm afraid I can't do that Megs. AJ could take me." Nick said laughing.

After a few more seconds Alex stopped suddenly. He stayed straddled over me though. He pushed the hair out of my face, leaned down, and kissed me. We stayed that way for a little while until we heard a giggle. When Alex sat up, we saw Baylee watching us.

"Uncle AJ? Are you and Aunt Megan gonna be married?"

Alex looked down at me, and smiled. He looked kinda nervous and shocked.

"Uncle AJ!"

He looked back to Baylee and smiled. "I hope so buddy. Someday I hope so."

I felt myself blush as he softly stroked my cheek.

"OK GUYS SOUNDCHECK!" We heard Q yell.

Alex helped me up and led me down to the audience so I could watch with the fans. I sat next to Kat, and we acted like little girls. We noticed some of the dirty looks we got from a few fans. But, most were very sweet to us. At one point, they were taking requests on the last song.

I heard a few girls yell out 'If You Want It To Be Good Girl.' I laughed at that when I saw the look on Alex's face. He hated that song. When they recorded it, he despised every minute. He looked at me and saw me laughing and gave me a warning look. I knew that look, I was gonna have to run when soundcheck was over.

I saw the guys walk to the back of the stage and talk to the band. When they came back to their mics, the music for 'Yes I Will' started. I smiled big, it was my favorite song. When the second verse got close, Alex walked down and took my hand. He led me back on stage and serenaded me.

When the song came to an end, he got down on one knee..

My entire body started to shake when I saw him get down on his knee. My hands were trembling and my voice was stuttering.

"Al-lex? What are you d-oing?"

He looked up at me and smiled. "Meggie?"

"Alex! We're on stage in front of your fans!"

"They'll be glad they saw it....Meggie?" He pulled out a little black box from his pocket. He planned this. "I love you more than anything in the world. Will you marry me?"

I looked at him and saw a single tear roll down his cheek. Then, I looked over and saw the guys looking at me.

When I looked back at him, I whispered, "Yes."

He grinned and slid the ring on my finger. Then stood up and twirled me in his arms. When he put me back down, we shared an intimate kiss that seemed to make time stand still. When we pulled apart, we heard everyone cheer and clap. I turned around to see Kat's reaction. She was just as shocked as I was.

The guys came over to congratulate us, and Brian giggled.

"You all knew didn't you?"

"Yep!" They all said in unison."

I looked back at Alex and squeezed his hand.

"I was going to do it last night, but..well you know. So this morning, I was talking to the guys and I thought this would be spontaneous." He flashed me that grin and winked at me.

I hugged him and kiss his cheek. "I love you baby."

"I love you too, just wait til tonight." He was starting to run his hands up my shirt.

I blushed, "Alex..people can hear and see you."

"I don't care..let em watch..let em stare-"

"Don't you sing that song to me mister! You know I can't handle myself when I'm around you!"

He giggled and patted my ass, "Babe, I think we need to do the q&a so we can get outta here and fool around before the show."

"Ok..I'll go sit back in the audience..I may have a few questions." I kissed him quickly and sat back in the audience.

As they started talking to their fans, Kat and I were admiring my ring. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect ring. It was white gold, solitare diamond. It was gorgeous. I sat throught the rest of soundcheck admiring my ring and thinking about our future. I couldn't believe he asked me. I always dreamed he would, but I couldn't believe he did. Especially in front of everyone like that.

And the fact that all the guys knew and kept it from me was amazing. They usually can't keep anything from me. Usually Nick breaks. But, this time Bylee must have overheard. That must have been why he asked, and why Alex looked so nervous.

When soundcheck was over, I saw Alex run to me.

"Hey babe. We have like 3 hours til showtime, so what do you wana do?" He asked and winked at me.

"Hmm...let's go eat!"

"Eat?! We get engaged and you wanna eat?!"

I laughed, "Babe. I don't wanna make love right now. I mean I do, but, I wanna spend the night with you. And make it more special. If we do it now, it won't be as special tonight." I said rubbing his back when I hugged him.

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go eat."

We went to the nearest McDonald's..because everyone knows the way to his heart is through McDonald's. The girl that took our order was sweet. She asked him for a picture, and he gladly agreed. I took it for her and chatted with her when Alex's phone rang and he stepped outside. She told me she had been a fan since 97. I told her I see if I could get her a backstage pass to the show, since she already had 2nd row seats, but couldn't afford soundcheck. She almost squeezed me to death when I popped back in with a pass.




That night, after the show, Alex and I hurried back to our room. He only stayed at the after party long enough to meet his fans and take pictures. But, they understood. He wanted to be with me. Once we got in the room, we were kissing and ripping each others clothes off. He picked me up and carried me to the bed. When he laid me down, he ran his hands down my bare skin.

Once we were both fully nude, he began to tease my clit with his tonuge. He was flicking his tongue over it so softly, then he's speed up, making me amost reach my peak before he stopped and replaced it with his fingers. He fingered me deep and hard while I grinded my hips against his hand.

I let out a few moans, begging him to be inside me. He stopped, and made his way back up to my face. He was kissing my neck, while his fingers softly trailed over my clit.

"OH ALEX! PLEASSE!"

'Patience baby." He grinned. "I'm gonna make you cum all over me."

I used all my strength and flipped him over so that I was on top. He groaned when he felt my lips get closer to his throbbing erection. I licked his head and tasted his precum. I looked up to see his face before I went any further. When I saw his head back and eyes closed, I smiled to myself. I gently caressed his balls, as I took his entire shaft in my mouth. My head bobbed up and down, harder each time. His hands tangled in my hair as he held my head tightly.

I felt him tighten up and knew he was about to cum. So, I sped up swallowed every drop he gave me. After he stopped, I kissed his head and crawled back up to him.

"Oh. My. God. Megan." He breathed.

I layed on top of him stroking my hand over his chest, waitig for him to regain himself. I giggled when I looked up and saw him panting and trying to calm his breathing down.

"You ok?"

"God Megan....my GOD!"

I started to chickle, I loved when I made him feel that good. Seeing his face squench and hearing him moan turned me on so much I could barely take it. I leaned up to kiss him, and he grabbed my waist, flipping me over on my back.

"I'm gonna get my revenge on you." He smiled evily and pinned me down.

"Alex..don't torture me. Please!"

He shook his head, "Shhh. You lost your speaking privaleges when you did that to me."

I giggled again, but soon was quiet when I felt him sliding inside me. He kept a slow, steady pace as he was pumping in and out of me. I could hear him moaning and sighing as he worked me. I couldn't help but let out my own moans. And an occasional scream when he hit me in just the right spot.

He sped up his thrusts as we both came together, moaning each others names the entire time. When it weas over, he rolled off of me and cuddled as close to me as he could. He wrapped his arms around me and hed me tight, while he nuzzled his face in my neck.

"I love you Meggie. I can't wait til you're my wife." He whispered in my ear.

"I love you too Alex. I can't wait either."

We layed there quietly together, when Alex jumped up.

"Baby what's wrong?"

He started breathing heavily and looked down at me. Calming when he saw me.

"I had the most horrible dream. You left me. You came to a show, kissed my cheek and said it's over. Then you just vanished."

"Aww baby. I'll never leave you." I hugged him close and had his head on my chest as I stroked his head. "I'm here. I'll never ever leave. I promise you..with everything I am.." I giggled

The next morning, we met everyone downstairs for breakfast. We were the last ones down, and were late because we got a littl ecaught up in each other. When we sat down at the table, we were tickling each other and laughing, completely oblivious to all the looks we were recieving from everyone.

"You two need to go back upstairs. You're making all of us sick!" Brian laughed.

Alex shot him a look, "Shut it Rok. You were like this with LeighAnne once ya know."

Brian giggled and nodded. "True. But, how about you two at least keep your composure while we eat."

I kissed Alex on the cheek and said, "OK..Babe maybe we should. I'm freaking hungry! I'm craving like 20 different foods right now!"

We ordered our breakfast and spent the morning talking, as if we all aren't together enough, and on't already know every single detail about each other. It was amazing how all of us were so close and still never ran out of things to talk about.

After a little while, Baylee had to pee, and wouldn't let anyone take him but Alex. He said he wanted his Uncle AJ to take him because he was too old to go with his daddy. It was such a cute moment when he asked. He gave Alex that little puppy dog face, which Alex taught him..so really that only backfired.

While they were gone, I felt a vibrate on the table. Alex left his phone on the table. I looked at the i.d. and it said Mom's cell.

I flipped his phone open, "Hey Denise..he's in the restroom."

"Megan?"

It wasn't Denise, it was her husband Tony. And he sounded worried.

"Tony? What's wrong?"

"Um..hunny where are you guys today?"

"We're in Phoenix. Why what's wrong?"

"God, you're so far away. It's Denise...she's..she had a heart attack."

"Oh my God..is she ok?"

"Well, she's in ICU right now. They haven't told me anything yet, only ICU and they'd be out when they were done with tests."

"Oh my gosh. I-I'll go tell Alex. We'll fly out right away. We love you."

"Love you guys too, be careful. Bye sweetheart."

"Bye Tone."

I closed his phone and looked mortified. Everyone asked what was going on, but I just sat there. I couldn't believe how every single time something good happened, something bad happens. We hadn't even had the chance to tell her we were engaged. I looked next to me and saw Alex sit down. He must have noticed my face and got concerned.

"Babe you ok?"

"A-Alex..while you were gone, Tony called...he said.."

"What? Meggie what's wrong?" His voice was quiet, I think he suspected what was wrong.

"Y-your mom.." I made eye contact with him and finished, "Alex, your mom had a heart attack."

I heard the shock around the table, but I was more worried about his reaction.

"What?"

"She's in ICU. I told Tony we'd fly out right away."

He sat silent for a few minutes. He just stared straight ahead.

"Alex, are you ok?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah. I'm fine. I gotta go."

He got up and walked to the elevator. I waited a few minutes, not knowing if I should follow him or not. I decided to in case he needed me. When I got to our room, I found him laying on the couch, watching tv and laughing. He was in denial about it. And, I was starting to get scared of how he would handle this. I just prayed he wouldn't drink.

I sat on the couch next to him, he looked at me and smiled.

"Hey baby girl."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Baby, your mom's in ICU. Don't you wanna fly out to her?"

"She's not in ICU. She can't be."

"Baby, she is. She had a heart attack.

"Nope. She's fine. She can't be in the hospital."

"Alex?"

He didn't answer that time. I scooted a little closer to him and took his hand in mine. I cupped his face and turned it so he was facing me. I saw his eyes filling up with tears. As the first one rolled down his cheek, I kissed it away and pulled him in for a hug. We stayed like that for quite some time, he needed to let it out. He cried until he could barely breathe.

When he finally began to calm down, I reach for my cell and called the airport. I booked us a flight at 2 pm. It was around 1145 at the time, so we needed to get packed and go.

"Alex, how bout you get a hot shower, and I'll go tell everyone whats going on."

"Alright. Hurry back? I don't wanna be alone."

I walked with him into the bathroom and turned on the water for him. I turned around and kissed him as he was undressing. "I'll only be a few minutes. I'll be back before you get dressed."





When I returned to our room, Alex had just turned the water off. I grabbed a pair of boxers and some jeans out of his suitcase and brought them into the bathroom for him. When I walked in, he was shaving.

"I brought these for you."

He turned to me and took them. "Thanks baby...gotta shave before I can go. Mom loves when I don't have facial hair."

"Yeah. I bet seeing you clean shaven will make her happier."

I sat on the sink keeping him company. After a few minutes of him being quiet, he spoke up.

"Meggie?"

"Yeah babe?"

"What if..what if she doesn't make it?" He asked as a tear fell.

"Aww baby boy, come here." I held him close and rubbed his back, whispering, "She's gonna be fine. She will."

He pulled back and looked deep ino my eyes. "What if she doesn't? We didn't even get to tell her about us."

"She's gonna be alright babe."

"Yeah..you ready?"

I nodded and grabbed our suitcases. When we got downstairs, Brian met us at the door to say they would all be out later that night. They had rescheduled the show, and of course the fans were upset, but they understood. Family is more important.

The flight home to Florida was long and restless. We wanted to be on the ground. Especially Alex. He just wanted to be in his mom's arms. By the time we got to the hospital, we had called Tony and he informed us where he was. And that the doctors still had not come to speak with him.

We got to the waiting room, and saw Tony demanding to see his wife and know what's going onn with her. Well, let's just say Alex followed his lead. They were at the nurses station screaming their demands, with the anger rising. I wrapped my arms around Alex's waist and gently pulled him back to the chairs and had him sit down.

"Babe, I know you're upset, but if they don't know, they don't know."

"I know, but..it's my mom! Why won't they tell us what's going on?"

I kneeled in front of him and stroked his cheek. "Shhh..babe. They will when they know."

Just then, as if it was a sign, the doctor walked through the door.

He cleared is throught, "Are you here for Mrs. Solis?"

Alex jumped up when he heard her name. "Is my mom alright?!"

"She's stable right now. We had to perform a triple bypass. We had to do it right away, that is why we weren't able to come out and speak with you just yet. Right now, she's in her own room, room 334. Honestly, I think she'll be fine. But, of course there's always that chance that she won't."

Alex nodded his head and I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. When I did, he put his arms over mine.

"Is she awake doctor?" Tony asked as he walked closer.

"Right now, she's in an induced coma. You may go see her, but she won't be responsive until she comes out of it. It could take anywhere from a few hours...to a few weeks."

"A FEW WEEKS!?"

I jumped back when Alex yelled, I knew better than to touch him when he's upset.

"Yes. We had no choice in this. We did it to give her a better chance at saving her life."

He looked at Tony and then back to the doctor, "So..there's a chance she won't wake up?"

"Well, yes..but that's unlikely."

"I want to see her.'' Alex pushed past the doctor and ran to her room.

I thanked the doctor and chased after him. I didn't know what he would do or how he'd react to seeing Denise in the room. When I got to the room, I saw him leaning against her door, he hadn't gone in yet.

"Baby?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "I can't go in. i can't look at her like that."

"You want me to go with you?"

He nodded and took my hand. I led him in the room and heard him gasp when we were close enough to see her. She had an iv in her arm, a breathing tube in her nose, and machines beeping around her. I turned around when I heard the door open, and saw Tony.

"I have to go fill out the paperwork for her. I just had to see her before I could."

I smile and squeezed his arm as he walked by me. He sat at her bed for a minute before he left to fill out her papers. After he left the room, Alex inched closer to her. When he got to her bed, he sat on the edge and kissed her cheek.

"Momma? Walk up mom. Please." His eyes were swollen from his tears.

I pulled a chair close to the bed and sat with them, "Denise? You have to wake up soon. We have wonderul news to tell you."

"Yeah momma, I asked Meggie to marry me. She said yes...mom?"

He sighed and stood up. I watched him as he walked over to the machines to see what they said, then he snooped in her chart hanging on the end of the bed. Once he looked it over, he put it down and walked out of the room. Not saying a word.

"Denise, please wake up. I'm getting worried about him...I'm gonna go find him, and make sure he doens't do something stupid, but we'll be back in a little bit. We love you mom." I said as I stood up to go find Alex before he did something he'd regret.

I got outside the room, and didn't see him. So I walked down the hallway, to the elevator, and got out on the first floor. I was looking all around the lobby. I was just about to walk out the door, when I spotted him in the gift shop. I walked in and he saw me. He walked to me and I pulled him in for a hug.

"Babe, why did you just leave like that?"

"I can't handle seeing her like that. So I came down her to buy her gifts. Look what I've got."

He pointed over to the counter and I saw the pile of stuffed animals and flowers for her room. I walked to the counter with him while he paid. The girl who took his credit card flashed him a whorish smile when she saw the name on it.

"Can you sign this reciept please Mr. McLean?"

'Ugh. She was flirting with him while I'm standing right there. My arm was around his waist and she's flirting with him?' I thought to myself as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Here you go." He said with a smile as he handed the store's reciept copy back to her.

I let go of him so I could help him carry the things up to her room. While we were walking out, the girl stopped Alex and whispered something in his ear. I saw his face fall, and walked back to him. He mouthed to me that she was flirting with him so I decided to handle it for him.

"How dare you."

"Excuse me?" She said, while she stuck her nose up to me.

"His mother just had a fucking triple bypass, and you are trying to get with him in the hospital while his fiance is standing right here?"

"Fiance?" She said it with such disgust and hate, I could feel my anger rising inside me.

Just as I was about to blow, Alex wrapped his free arm around my shoulders and led me out.

When we got in the elevator, I kissed his cheek, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For making a scene with that girl."

"It's ok baby. I like that you're so protective of my feelings. It makes me love you more." He said as he kissed my lips softly.

When the doors opened, we walked back into Denise's room and saw Tony sitting with her, then we heard voices. We heard two voices speaking. One of them was Denise's. When Alex heard his mom speaking, he dropped the stuffed animals on the floor in front of her bed and rushed over to her.

"MOM!"

He hugged her as tight as he could without hurting her. "Hi baby boy."

"Are you ok?! Do you need anything?!"

"Alex, calm down. I think I'm fine. I'm waiting on the doctor now to come speak with us."

Alex sat down in the chair, grinning. He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hi Denise." I smiled, "I'm glad you're alright. You had us all worried sick."

"I'm fine Megan. Thank you for making sure my boy didn't do anything stupid."

"You're welcome. Wait, you heard me?"

"Yes. I did."

Alex looked at her and asked, "Did you hear everything we said?"

"No. Why should I have?"

I looked down at Alex and he smiled at me. "Mom? We have something to tell you."

"Why am I nervous about this?"

"I asked Meggie to marry me..she said yes!"

"Alex! Megan! Oh that's great! I'm so happy for you! Have you set a date yet?"

"No we haven't Denise. We were only engaged for 12 hours before we got the call from Tony..but now everything's good."

"I'm so glad you two are finally with the one you belong with."


We talked for a few more minutes, until the doctor came in and informed us visiting hours were over. We left so Denise could rest, but promised to be back in the morning. As we were leaving the hospital, we saw the rest of the guys walking in. We told them she was fine and that we were going to stay at Kat and my apartment that night.

We invited everyone to stay with us, let me just say, it was crowded. Eight adults and one child in a two bedroom apartment. By the time Alex and I got everyone situated, we were so exhausted we fell asleep on the couch together.

The day after Denise was released from the hospital, Alex had to return to the tour. The first show back was in Dallas, and we were both exhausted when we finally made it to the hotel. The following day was just gonna be rehearsals and a meeting, so at least we didn't have to worry about the craziness of a show right away.

The next day at rehearsals, they were practicing a new dance that they had incorporated female dancers into. They were all nice girls, there were six of them, all claimed to have been fans at one point in their lives. The girl that was paired up with Alex, was a quiet girl. She had long, straight, red hair, and was really pretty. I could tell she was scared to meet the guys, so I tried to make her feel comfortable.

"Hi. I'm Megan. What's you name?" I greeted her with a friendly smile and held out my hand for her to shake.

"Hi." She shook my hand, "I'm Alli."

'Nice to meet you Alli. Have you met the guys yet?"

She shook her head, and widened her eyes. "Oh no. I don't want to bother them. They're very busy."

I laughed, "Busy? The Backtreet Boys? Right now they're probably arguing over who ate the last donut. Come on, I'll introduce you."

"Ok. And thank you."

"For what?"

"Being nice to me."

"No problem. I just want you to be comfortable around my boys."

"Your boys?" She said in a curious tone.

"Yeah, I kinda claim them. See, Alex-AJ and I have been best friends since we were babies, and now we're engaged. And the rest, I've know since '92-'93, and are my family."

"Wow. You're AJ's fiance? You're lucky." She smiled

"Thank you. I know I am. Are you a fan?"

"Yeah, since the first time I heard As Long As You Love Me."

"Who's your favorite?"

"Um..well, AJ." She bit her bottom lip. "But, I'm not gonna like freak out and try to steal him from you!"

"Calm down sweetie, it's alright." I smiled, "Are you nervous?"

She nodded, and smiled a little.

"Trust me. They are the nicest, normal people on earth." I grinned and winked. "Now let's go see em."

I led Alli into the 'game' room, as the boys called it and showed her around. And, as if they knew they'd have a visitor, they were arguing over something dumb. It was over whether Nick or Brian was the best at basketball, they sounded like children.

"Oh Boys!" I said in a sarcastic tone.

They all stopped and turned to look at me, noticing I had a new person with me, they hurried and stood up to greet her. They knew who she was, but didn't know anything about her, and hadn't met any of the dancers yet.

"This is Alli, she's gonna be Alex's partner for the new routine." I turned to Alli, "Alli, these are the guys. That's Nick, Brian, Howie, and Alex."

"Nice to meet you." She said, in a barely audible voice.

Brian walked to her and kissed her hand, "Nice to meet you pretty lady."

"Brian! You're married! I'm Nick." Nick said and stretched out his hand.

"Nick, you're in a relationship!" Brian argued back.

I looked at Alli, "Told you it would be an argument." I said and smiled.

I walked over to see Alex, and sat on his lap. He was watching tv and looked like he wanted company.

"Hey baby." He said when I sat down, as he wrapped is arms tightly around my waist.

"Hey." I kissed his nose and snuggled against him.

"What are they doing?"

I looked over and saw the guys playin two on two with Alli. From what I could see, Alli was on Brian's team. Which meant she'd win.

I saw Alli try to make a basket, and Nick going at her fast. I knew what was gonna happen, but couldn't say something in time. Then, Nick crashed into her, and knocked her to the ground.

I ran to see if she was ok and heard Nick.

"Oh my God!! Alli, are you ok? I'm so sorry!" He bent down to help her up, but she couldn't stand.

"My ankle..oh my God, it hurts!"

She held onto her ankle, then stretched her leg out and tried to move it.

"I'm so sorry, lemme go get the nurse." Nick panicked and hurried out of the room.

"Alli? You ok?" I said as I knelt down next to her.

"Yeah, just my ankle hurts. I know he didn't mean to."

A few minutes later, Nick returned with a nurse the building kept on staff. After she examined Alli, she told her it was just a sprain, but that she wouldn't be able to perform on it for at least three days.

"I'm so sorry Alli." Nick said again as he helped her to the couch.

"It's ok Nick, I know you didn't mean to. But, I hope I don't lose my job."

"You won't, there are backups, right guys?"

Brian looked at me, "Well, actually..we only have two backups, one's sick and the other is already filling in for a girl that quit."

I saw he fear in Alli's eyes, and looked at Alex."

"Well, there's gotta be something we can do."

"Actually, there is." Alex said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"What?"

"You could fill in for her."

"ME?"

"Yes you." He kissed my cheek, "Baby you could learn the dance, after all it's just one. And you'd be dancing with me. I could grind against you in front of all those people and not get in trouble for it." He winked.

"I don't know.."

"Oh come on Megs! It'll be fun! Maybe we can fit you in a few other dances too!" Howie piped in.

I looked at all the boys, then at Alli. "Ok. But, just until Alli's better."

I heard the excitement fill the room, as Alex took me to the choreographer and told her what was up. She agreed, as if it was her choice, and began to show me the moves. After a few times solo, I was able to practice with Alex. But, looking into his eyes, and feeling his breath on my neck, was not going to make this easy.

My first show was the next night. So, i had only had 24 hours worth of practice, but the guys all assured me I knew the routine and would be great. As I was getting ready for the show, Alex crpet into my dressing room, and wrapped his hands around my bare waist and made me jump 6 feet.

"OH MY! JESUS ALEX!" I yelled and smacked his arm.

"What? It's just me!" He laughed and tried to hug me.

"Get out!" I giggled.

"Why?" He asked trying to sound hurt.

"Because, it's gonna be hard enough not jumping you on stage, let alone with you working me up before hand!"

"Come on baby.." He whispered in my ear, making sure he used his lowest, raspiest voice, knowing that would get me.

I groaned and turned around to face him. I leaned up a little to kiss him, but had to push him away after a few minutes.

"Baby. After the show."

He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. I kissed his lip, "Tuck your lip back in."

"Fine." He said, and went to sit down, crossing his arms like a five year old who wasn't allowed to have candy.

I finished getting dressed and put my hair in a high pony tail. I walked over to him to get his approval on my outfit, and saw his mouth drop.

"Yeah, this is what your choreographer is making us wear."

"Uhh..b-b..wow." He said, then kissed my cheek.

"Well, I guess this is it!" I said after hearing the call to get in place.

Thankfully, my time was still about twenty minutes away, so I could just relax and watch the boys. Then, came my time. The song they had for this routine was an older one. The boys talked their tour manager and producers into letting them do an older song only die hard fans know. It's called, 'If You Knew What I Knew.'

"Here goes nothing!" I said to Alli, as I ran to the stage.

I was having a blast on stage. Despite being in front of 50,000+ people, I felt comfortable because I was with my 'family.' The whole time I had to dance with Alex, and heard his voice in my ear. During the routine, he slipped his hand between my legs and made me squeal, and I'm pretty sure it was heard over his mic.

Another part of the routine that would kill me, was when we had to practically grind on each other. While his crotch was agaisnt my leg, I could feel him pushing through, and winked at him. Which really wasn't nice, that made him worse. I giggled and ran away when the song was over.

"Lucky for you, Brian has his solo next! So we have five minutes of..you know." He wiggled his eyebrows and pushed me into his dressing room and locked the door.

"ALEX!" I yelped when he attacked my neck with kisses.

"Oh, you're right. We've gotta make this quick." He winked and quickly lifted the skirt I was wearing and pushed my panties to the side. Then, unzipped his pants and pulled himself out. He thrusted in me without missing a beat. He had me leaned against the wall and pumped in me until we both came.

It was so fast and dirty, but, so loving and sweet at the same time.

As he was pulling out of me, there was a pound on the door.

"J! COME ON!"

"Coming!.... as if I haven't already."

I giggled and followed him outside and saw everyones stares and heard their giggles.

"What?" I asked, trying to act innocent.

"Don't even missy." Nick said, then walked away, shaking his head and laughing.

I watched the rest of the show from the front row. Loving every minute. If there was one thing in life I was sure of, it was that I could watch a Backstreet show everynight, and never get sick of it.




I filled in for Alli for 6 shows. And when she was able to rejoin, another girl quit, and I took her spot. That was six weeks ago. Of course, it was Howie's partner, and Alex persuaded Alli to trade me. It was nothing against her, she understood that. He just wanted to tease me on stage. He had figured out different ways to slip a finger or two inside me without anyone noticing. It was pure torture. But, we usually followed up every performance with a quickie while Brian did his solo.

"Meggie?"

"I'm in here babe." I answered from the back room on the bus.

"We're gonna grab some food. What do you want?"

"Umm.. same as you."

"But, what if you don't like it?" He asked

"Babe. McDonalds?"

"How'd you know?" He grinned.

"Alex McLean...McDonalds...I just put two and two together."

He smiled and started to tickle me, but after I fell backwards and hit my head, he stopped and got serious. I laid there still trying to fake him out and make him think I was knocked out.

"BABY!?!?"

I opened my eyes and sat up. "Alex! I'm fine! I was kidding!"

"Oh my God Meggie." He grabbed me and rubbed my head, "Don't scare me like that."

"I'm sorry baby. Let's go eat." I said as I stroked his cheek.

"No, you say here, I'll bring it back and we can eat in here alone."

"Ok baby."

He kissed me and ran off the bus with the rest of the guys, leaving me with the girls. I walked to the front and sat with LeighAnne, Kat, and Leigh. We were making small talk when I started to feel sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up at least three times, maybe four.

"Meg are you ok?" LeighAnne asked as she helped me stand back up.

"I don't know. I've been throwing up randomly for the past few days."

"Meggie..how long have you been getting sick?" LeighAnne asked as she looked at me.

I looked up at her, horrified when it hit me. "Oh my God." I whispered then immediately covered my mouth with my hands.

"Sweetie, let's get you up and on the couch." LeighAnne helped me stand up and walked me to the couch. After we sat, she started asking questions.

"How long have you been getting sick?"

I lowered my head and spoke quietly, "Four or five days."

"And..have you.. when was your last period?"

"I don't even know when my last one was...I thought it was just from stress or something."

"Megs, do you and AJ use protection? Are you on birth control?"

"Yeah I am."

"Do you use any other protection?"

"No." I said and shook my head. "We thought birth control was the protection. I don't mean to mead graphic here, but to us, it's more intense without a condom."

"Well, you know..I hate to say this, but birth control is only 99.9% effective. Somebody has to be that .1%."

At that moment, I was positive I was pregnant. As I was beginning to cry from being scared, I heard the guys coming back onto the bus. I was wiping my face as Alex sat next to me on the couch with our food and drinks.

"Meggie? What's wrong baby?" He said and wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"N-nothing sweetie. I'm alright."

"Then, why are you crying. You know you can't lie to me babe."

"I know." I nodded and looked around. I saw LeighAnne and Kat taking Brian and Nick off the bus. I'm sure they'd explain outside.

I could see the fright in Alex's eyes, as I looked up at him. I felt my eyes begin to water again and reached up to cup his face in my hands. I pulled his face forward and gently kissed his lips, softly flicking my tongue against his. When I pulled away, I smiled. "I just wanted to kiss you..I just hope..I hope you don't get mad."

"Mad at what baby? I couldn't be mad at you." He said as he pushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"You will be when you hear what I have to tell you." I looked down and stared at my hands.

He lifted my chin, "Meggie?"

"Alex. I'm..we're-" I closed my eyes, "I'm pregnant."

I slowly fluttered my eyes open, and looked up at him. He just stared at me. Then, grinned bigger than I'd ever seen.

"Are you..really?!"

I bit my bottom lip and nodded.

"BABY!" He grabbed me and hugged me tight, then picked me up leaned down to kiss me.

"So, you're not mad?"

"God no! Baby, I love you! I'm ecstatic! How far along are you?"

"I don't know. I need to go to the doctor and find out."

"We'll go tomorrow. I'll take you, it's out day off. Then, when we get home, we'll find a permanent doctor."

I grinned and jumped into his arms. I was so relieved Alex wasn't mad. We walked off the bus together, and told the rest the news.

After the congratulations and hugs, we went back to the bus for the ride to the next city. Everyone volunteered us to have the bedroom that night, so we could celebrate our news. We spent the entire night making love. After convincing Alex that he wouldn't hurt the baby. After our last round, we laid there together.

Alex spent hours rubbing and talking to my stomach.

"Alex. You're gonna make the baby like you more." I whined

"Naw, but I am gonna spoil her."

"Her? How do you know it's a girl?"

"I don't. But I hope it is. One just like you. And then, maybe Kat will get pregnant soon, and have a little boy. And they can have a story just like ours." He smiled, and kissed my hand.

"That sounds nice. Although, I hope our daughter admits it and doesn't take forever to realize how she really feels."

"Yeah. He might appreciate that. But, he might also want to admit the same thing. And not be so stupid and make the mistakes his father did."

I looked up at him and kissed his cheek, "Baby. You aren't stupid. You made some mistakes, but everybody does."

"Yeah. I just hope I don't screw this up."

"Being a father?"

"And a husband. Have you thought about a wedding date?"

"Yeah. I wanted to be married before we started a family. But, we're a little late for that." I chuckled.

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"Let's get married next week."

"Next week?!" I jumped up in bed and looked at him like he was crazy.

He smiled and kissed my neck. "Yes. Let's do it. We can go home and have a small wedding. With just our family and close friends. Kat can be you maid of honor, and the girls can be brides maids. The guys can be my best men" He chuckled, "And Baylee can be the ring bearer. It would be perfect!"

"Except I don't have a dress!"

"We'll find you one. You know you love me!"

I giggled as he started tickling me. After a few minutes he finally stopped and allowed me to think. After a minute or two,I realized I felt the same way he did. I didn't care where or when our wedding was. I just wanted to be his wife.

I grinned, "Alright. Next week."

We kissed each other with a passion that couldn't be fought by anthing in the world. As we laid there talking, I realized I wouldn't be able to dance anymore.

"Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"You guys are gonna have to replace me for the tour."

"Oh yeah." He said sadly. "I don't want to!"

I laughed, "But, you're gonna have to. Just make sure it's not a whore that tries to take you from me."

He chuckled softly and kissed the back of my hand. "Ok baby. I promise."

I can't believe Alex and I will be married tomorrow! We've all been rushing around trying to get everything done in time. The guys have the next nine days off, so after the wedding, we can go on our honeymoon. I still don't know where it is gonna be though, he just tells me it's a surprise. Since we've been back home, we've found a doctor and found out how far along I am. As of right now, I'm seven weeks. The doctor also gave us a time frame of when our baby was conceived. We like to think it was right after my first performance with the boys. During our 'quickie' in the dressing room.

The girl that replaced me on the tour, is a whore. At least I like to think so. Her name is Missy. She's one of those that wears lip liner and dark eyeliner, always has her hair curly with mousse in it, and never covers her body. She is always pushing up on Alex when they dance, he constantly tells her to back off. Sometimes, she goes for Nick and tries to cling to him. The guys are trying to get management to replace her, but until they find another girl, they say there's nothing they can do about it.

Right now, however, I'm finally fitting my dress. It's a traditional spaghetti strap, white wedding gown, with gorgeous embroidery across the chest. When I stepped out of the dressing room, I heard gasps from my mother, Denise, and Kat.

"Oh my! Honey you're gorgeous!" My mother came running to me and twirled me around.

"You guys like it?"

"YES!" All three shouted at me.

My parents and Denise still didn't know about the baby. We wanted to tell them when the time was perfect. But, of course, my belly had to start poking a little. I was only seven weeks, I thought it took longer to start showing. Guess I was wrong.

'Sweetheart?" Denise started.

"Yeah?" I asked as I turned around slowly.

I made eye contact with Kat, so she tried to change the subject with shoes, but it didn't work.

Denise touched my belly, "Um..Megan what is this?"

"What?"

"This little bump." Her and my mother were staring at me waiting for an answer. "Oh..I-uh..we wanted to tell you at the right time."

"I'm gonna be a grandma?!" My mom and Denise both exlcaimed at the same time.

I nodded and smiled, hugging them back when they threw their arms around me.


Later on that day, we all met at our house for a celebration. We were having a reception the next day, but we wanted to have a nice celebration before hand too. Somehow, Missy, thought she was invited and decided to sneak in with some of the other dancers. I saw her trying to rub against Alex and decided to stop it.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind and ran my hands up his stomach to his chest. "Hey baby."

He turned around and smiled down at me. "Hey." He kissed my lips, "You ready for tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah. You?"

"Of course. I can't wait til I'm your husband."

I saw Missy storm off and go inside. "Why is she here?"

"I don't know. I wish she'd stay away."

"Me too. I hate her. I think she's gonna do something to try and ruin our wedding."

He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Nothing will ruin our day baby girl."


For the rest of the afternoon and evening, we stayed outside, visiting with everyone. Around 9, everyone started to go home. We all needed plenty of sleep. I wasn't allowed to sleep with Alex that night, everyone insisted I sleep in a guest room at Nick's house. I gave in and agreed. Nick and Kat stayed a little while longer, so Alex and I could spend just a little more time together. Maddie was fast asleep on the baby mat on the floor, while we all played Monopoly. And let me tell you, playing that with Alex and Nick was interesting.

"You are so chesting little girl!" Nick yelled at Kat, after he had to pay her 3,000 dollars after landing on her hotels.

"I am not! I'm just good!" She giggled back.

When we decided it was time to leave, Nick grabbed my suitcase and went to the door. I was ready to go, but first I needed to see Alex one last time.

As I was about to leave with Nick and Kat, I ran back into the kitchen, where Alex was cleaning up a little before bed, to kiss him goodnight. But, when I entered the room, I was greeted with Alex against the wall, with Missy's lips on his. I felt my stomach go completely weak and my heart broke in a million pieces. So many things were running through my head. How? Why?

I saw Alex push her away and begin to speak, But, as his mouth opened, he looked up, and made direct eye contact with me. I shook my head at him, turned around and ran to the door.

"MEGAN! PLEASE STOP!" He ran after me and grabbed my arm. He turned me around, pulling my face up to look at him. "Baby, I didn't-that wasn't..I-she kissed me. I pushed her away. I love you baby."

"It takes two people to kiss Alex!" I broke from his grip and ran outside into Nick's car.

I saw Alex running towards us, screaming for us to stop. Then, I heard Nick and Kat asking me what happened.

I sat in the backseat, rocking myself and crying. "NICK JUST GO! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

I looked out the window and watched as Alex ran after the car, but eventually gave up and watched us drive away. I couldn't believe it, it was the night before my fairytale wedding, to the only man I've ever had in my life. And now, I wasn't sure if it would happen or not.

By the time we arrived at Nick and Kat's, I was a complete mess. My mascara had run down my cheeks and my eyes were almost swollen shut. I went straight to the couch when Nick opened the door for me. I saw Kat walking towards me, slowly. She was hesitant about sitting down, but finally did.

"Megan?"

I looked over at her and wiped my face, "Yeah?"

"What happened? I mean you just ran and yelled to leave. And AJ was running after you-"

"I saw him.."

"Saw him what?"

"I went to the kitchen to kiss him one more time, and I saw Missy kissing him."

Kat was silent, she just sat there, looking at me. "Did..was he kissing her?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. I mean all I saw was them kissing and i think he pushed her away. But, I don't know if that was because he didn't want it, or because he saw me."

"Megan, look at me." Kat said and took my hands. "That man loves you more than anyone has ever loved anything. To him, you are the entire world."

I nodded slowly, sniffing, "I need to talk to him..I-I can tell if he's lying. Do you think he hates me?"

"No." She smiled, "In fact, on the way here, we were texting. He told me everything, including that when he pushed her away, he saw you and his heart died."

"I hate that girl."

"I know hunny. He's on his way here now. Should be here any-"

Kat was interupted by Alex ringing the doorbell. I looked up at Kat, panicking about how bad I must have looked.

"I really don't thin he cares." She chuckled.

Nick opened the door, and I looked over to see Alex enter. I stood up when he walked to me. I saw his tear stained face, and his puffy eyes. I started to realize, that he really didn't want her. He didn't want to kiss her. He did push her away.

I slowly brought my hand up to his cheek and wiped away a tear rolling down his face. "Alex?"

"Meggie. I never-" He stopped as he was getting choked up, "I'm just so sorry. I didn't even know she was there. She must have been hiding and waiting until you left."

I looked into his eyes, and was certain he was being completely honest. "I'm so sorry." I started to tear up, and leaned up to kiss his lips.

He returned the kiss and moved us down onto the couch. I was working at removing his shirt when I heard Nick clear his throat behind us. We stopped and looked at Nick, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"I'm glad everything's fine now, but you need to go home. And you need to go upstairs. You can mess around in 15 hours and it won't be sinful!" Nick laughed.

Alex slapped the back of Nick's head as we walked to the front door. We stood outside the door saying goodnight.

"I feel like a teenager, saying goodnight before I go in and go to bed." I laughed softly.

Alex grinned, "Yeah, only if we were teenagers, I would probably be going in with you and sleeping with you." He stopped for a few seconds, just looking at my face.

"What?" I asked, blushing.

"When you really think about it...how did we not hook up back then? I mean, we were always together, I mean we slept together for God's sake!"

"I've wondered that myself. How we could never have at least made out once. Or even gone on a date!"

"Yeah, although, I used to tell my friends that you were my first love. Even though.."

"I used to tell people that you were my boyfriend."

We moved over to the swing Nick had to the side of his porch and sat down. We were sharing stories that neither of us had told before.

"Really?"

"Yeah.. when you were in Europe or on tour somewhere. If I had a new friend over and they saw the pictures. I always said, 'Oh that's my boyfriend Alex.' And if they asked where you were, I always made up a vacation story or something."

Alex pulled me close to him, and I curled my legs next to me on the swing, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He wrapped his arm around me and told me a story I'd never heard.

"You know what I told a girl once?"

"What?"

"There was this girl I was seeing for maybe a week or two, her name was Natalie. Anyway, it was after I left, and I missed you so much, I had a picture of you in my suitcase."

"Aww." I giggled.

"Do you want me to finish or not?" He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, causeing me to giggle more.

"I'm sorry babe, go ahead."

"Anyway, as I was saying." He said, emphasizing his last line. "Well, Natalie flew out to see me one day, and when she came onto the bus, she saw the picture on the table next to the couch. Because I would take the picture wherever I went. And you can ask the guys this..She asked me who it was."

He shifted a little and moved us so that he was resting his head on my chest.

"I told her you were my first love. My best friend. And the girl who owned my heart."

"Aww..baby."

"Needless to say, she left." He chuckled. "She didn't like what I said. And I think the picture I had made her jealous."

"What picture was it?"

He sat up and looked at me, pushing away some hair that had blown onto my face. "That same one you have in your room, the one of you on my back. When we were playing ball with the fellas and you decided to jump on me for the winning basket."

I laughed a little, "That was a great day."

He pulled me towards him and kissed the top of my head. "It was. But, tomorrow will be better. And everyday after that. We're gonna be together, and have a family together."

"Finally."

He smiled and bent down to kiss my belly. "I guess I'm gonna head home. Go to bed, the sooner we sleep, the sooner we'll wake up."

"I love you."

"I love you Meggie. Good night."

"Night babe."

We kissed and he walked to his car. I walked back inside to get ready for our wedding day. I had never been so excited or impatient in my life.

3 AM and I'm in the shower. I'm too excited to sleep, so I thought I'd get a head start on my day! I heard Kat knock on th ebathroom door as I was rinsing my hair, that I had already shampooed twice.

I peaked out of the shower curtain and saw her creep in, looking at me like I was crazy.

"MEGAN! Why aren't you in bed?"

"I can't sleep!" I said, overly excited.

She laughed at me, shaking her head. "So you're getting a shower?"

I giggled, "Yes! This way, I'll have extra time to make sure I am absolutely perfect today. I'll have more time to shave, and make sure my legs, as well as other parts, are silky smooth!"

"But, it's 3 in the morning!"

"I KNOW!" I said in a mocking tone. The truth was, there was no way I could sleep now. And besides, I would be waking up in 4 hours anyway.

I shut the water off and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around my body, and pulled the curtain open. I stepped out of the shower, and saw Kat leaning against the door with her eyes closed.

"You can go back to bed Kat. You don't have to be awake with me."

"No no. I said I'd be with you through the entire day. And, it's now your wedding day."

I grinned and jumped up and down with joy, "Oh my God Kat! I'm getting married in 9 hours!"

"I know silly!"

I stopped jumping, and moved into shock."I can't believe it."

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm finally marrying Alex." I looked up and smiled. "Kat, I have to look perfect."

"I know sweetie. Ok, lemme get my little day planner and see what we need to do."

I got dressed in a pair of Alex's sweatpants and a cute little tank top that said Mrs. McLean. I found it years ago and kept it, I couldn't believe I would be able to claim that name soon. A few minutes later, I was in the living room with Kat, who was looking over her planner.

"Ok. We have a nail appointment at 8:15. Then, the hairdresser will meet us at the church at 9:30. After hair, you'll have time to relax and do what you need to get done, until 11:15. That's when Monica's gonna do your makeup...by the way, why is Monica doing your makeup?"

"Because she overheard me say I'd be too excited to do it and offered. I agreed, i mean she's one of the dancer's so she'll be there anyway. And, she always looks so cute."

Kat shook her head. "Ok. So it is..4:34. So let's eat breakfast and then we'll lounge until time for nail appointments."

I nodded my head, "But, nothing too filling, I don't wanna gain weight today! Remember, I have to look perfect for him."

"I think in his eyes, you are perfect."

"Maybe, but tonight, things are gonna be done that shouldn't be discussed."

She looked at me confused, "Like what?"

"You know...sexual favors." I winked.

"Ok no more information needed."

I giggled and followed her into the kitchen where we ate breakfast and talked about the fabulous wedding to come.



After my nail and hair appointments, it was now 11 and we were in a little room of the church, where we could all get dressed. My mom was making me crazy, talking about the baby and how it's about time we got together. Which, was made worse when Denise got there.

After Monica did my makeup, it was about 11:45. Which meant in one hour, I would be married. I was walking by the door, when I heard a faint knock. It was the secret knock Alex and I did when we were kids, so we always knew it was each other. I walked to the door, and cracked it slightly, making sure he couldn't see me.

"Alexander, you know you can't see me yet."

"But, I miss you. I just want a little kiss."

"You'll have your kiss in a little bit. Right now, I'm half naked and about to put on my dress."

"Oooh. Well, if you're not in your dress now, I can see you."

"ALEXANDER JAMES!" Denise yelled.

I giggled, "Now you've made your momma mad mister. First and middle names."

"Hi mommy!"

"Get out of here!" She said shooing him with her hands.

"But-"

"NO! You'll see her in 1 hour."

Alex sighed and acted like he stormed off. I chuckled and walked back to put my dress on.

"Silly boy." Denise said, as she zipped my dress up, "He loves you more than anything."

I turned to look at her, "I know. And I love him, more than he knows."

"I just wanted to tell you, I'm glad it's you. There's been a lot of girls in his life, but none of them could ever and will never compare to you. You're his shining star, Megan."

I could feel my eyes begin to water, as I hugged her."Thank you. And, don't worry, I'll always take care of him."

"I know hunny."

After I was dressed and everyone did their final touches on my hair and makeup, and took theire gabillions of pictures, I was ready. We walked to the foyer, where my dad was waiting to walk me down the aisle.

"Baby girl are you ready?" My dad asked as he held his arm out for me.

"I've been ready since I was 5 and we played house."

"I love you Megan. And, I know Alex will always take care of you."

"I love you Daddy." I said and kissed his cheek.


The doors opened, and I saw Alex standing at the altar in his tux. Along with Brian, Nick, Kevin, and Hoiwe at his side. I looked over at my side and saw Kat, LeighAnne, Kristin, and Leigh. Baylee was standing just behind Alex, he was the ring bearer, and his adorable smile stole the day from us. I looked around the church and saw the flowers everywhere. For a wedding planned in a week, it was certainly a fairytale. We had maybe 30 guests, not including the wedding party. I looked over and even saw Alex's dad sitting in the back of the church. I wasn't sure if Alex knew, so I didn't mention it.

When I got closer, Alex took my breath away, he was crying. But, it was ony enough to tell if you really looked at him. My dad shook his hand and kissed my cheek. Then, took his seat and let the wedding begin.

Alex smiled and took my hands, our eyes never left each other's the entire time. Baylee gave each of us a ring, and the minister began.




"Do you Alexander take Megan to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The minister asked.

He slipped the ring on my finger, and sniffed slightly. "I do." He said, grinning.

"Do you Megan take Alexander to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I put the ring on his finger, "I do." I looked back up at him, and he wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"...I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride son."

Alex pulled me close, and attacked my lips with force. Not too much, considering it was our wedding and we were in a church. After a minute or so, he broke the kiss and kissed my forehead. Just before we walked back down the aisle, he knelt down and kissed my belly.

As we headed down the aisle as husband and wife, the minister announced us.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Alexander James McLean."

As we walked into our reception, I saw all the beautiful floral arrangents on the tables, and the twinkling lights hanging from the ceiling. It wasby far the prettiest room I’d ever seen. We sat at our table, awaiting the toast from Kevin.

Just as Alex and I began to kiss once more, I heard Kevin tapping his glass with a fork.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please? Alex. Megan. We’ve all been waiting years for this day. I remember the first time I met Megan. I knew that day, that you two were meant to be together forever. I just can’t believe it took you this long to admit it.”

I looked at Alex, staring at me, with a tear about to roll down his cheek. I softly kissed his cheek as the tear fell. Then, turned my attention back to Kev.

"Megan, if it wasn't for you, I'm pretty sure AJ wouldn't be here today. You were always there for him. For everything. And I do mean everything. You were always the person to mend his broken heart, you were the one to talk him into rehab, both times. You were the one who has litterally gotten into physical fights to protect his reputation. You're his best friend, his lover, and now his wife, and soon will be the mother of his children. I wish you nothing but the best in your life, and I hope and pray you two will grow old together, although, I already know nothing can break you two apart."

I blew Kevin a kiss andwinked at him to thank him for his heartfelt toast.

"Now. Alexander." He started, smiling just a bit. "You, I don't even know where to begin with you. You're my little brother. I don't think any brothers in history have had the bad days we've had. But, no big brother has ever been more proud of his little brother, than I am of you. You have overcome some of the absolute worst times anyone has known. And we all know you will always take care of Megan, and you're gonna be a great father. I love you both, good luck." He finished by raising his glass, everyone else following.

After Kevin's toast, music began to play, and Alex led me onto the dance floor. Our first dance was to the song 'This I Promise You' by NSync. We couldn't help but giggle when we realized that's what it was, it was a surprise from Kat. But, even though it wasn't my choice, it was perfect.

We swayed together to the music, listening closely to the lyrics, realising this song should've been thought of long ago. I mouther the words to Alex and held him tightly. He bent down to kiss my cheek and whisper, "I love you baby."

"I love you too." I began to softly cry as I looked in his eyes, knowing I would always be safe and loved.

"Ready for our wedding night and honeymoon?"

"Yes. More than you know. Where are we going on our honeymoon?"

"I thought maybe we'd go to London. I know you love it there."

I grinned and leaned forward to kiss him deeply. We were interrupted by Baylee tugging on my dress.

"Aunt Megan? Can I dance wif you? Daddy says you always dance wif the bride."

"Of course little man!" I turned to Alex, "Excuse me babe, I have another dance awaiting me."

He smiled, "Be my guest."

As I was dancing with Baylee, I noticed Alex in the corner of the room, talking to his father. I was getting nervous becasue the look on Alex's face wasn't very good. Which meant they were arguing. I could see his face turning red, and his arms raising as he stormed off from him. I watched him go out the back door, so as soon as the song was over, I thanked Baylee and excused myself to go outside.

I saw him sitting on the steps, smoking.

"Baby? You ok?" I asked as I sat next to him.

"I'm fine sweetheart. Just arguing with my father. Nothing new." He looked at me and gave a half smile.

"I'm sorry baby." I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the embrace and led me back inside.

Once we were back inside, we had dinner, talked to our families, and danced to as many songs as possible. When Alex excused himself to go 'freshen up' as he called it, his father made his way over to me.

"Hello Megan."

"Hello." I answered coldly.

"I know you don't like me-"

"Don't like you? Wrong. I despise you. I don't respect you. And honestly, I don;t know why you're here."

"I just wanted to tell Alex-"

"Oh, you wanted to tell him something. Lemme guess..you're proud of him?"

"Yes."

"Uh huh. But, you weren;t proud of him when he was 3? You weren't proud enough to be a father to him? You were only proud enough when he became rich and famous?"

"I know I made mistakes, I just hope you'll give me a second chance."

"Alex might. But, don't ever exect me too. I saw him hurt too much because of you."

I felt a hand on my back and turned to see Alex.

"Excuse us, I want to dance with my wife."

He led me away and back onto the dance floor. "Alex, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For what I said to your father."

"Don't be. I love how protective you are of me. It really shows how much you care about me."

I smiled, "I love you more than anything in the world Alexander McLean."

"And I love you more than anything in the world Megan McLean."

"I love the sound of that." I smiled

"Me too baby girl."

We spent the next few mnutes making out in front of everyone, but we didn't care.

The night was ending, and everyone was leaving. The only guests that were left were our parents, the guys, and their girls.

At around 9:30, we decided to leave to start our wedding night. When we arrived at our hotel suite, the floor and bed were completely covered in rose petals. There were candles lit everywhere, and there was a boombox with a note attached.

'AJ and Megs..congratulations! Have fun tonight, don't get too freaky!
p.s. yes it's Nick!'

After reading the note, Alex pressed play, and the song 'Having Sex' by Boyz II Men came on. When I heard the lyrics, and looked at Alex, I knew it was going to be a night neither one of us would ever forget. It was going to be sensual, erotic, romantic, and very intense.

As I listened to the music, I stared deep into Alex's eyes, as his hands softly gripped my arms, pulling me in for a deep, passionate kiss. After a minute of our tongues teasing each other, we pulled back. He turned me around and slowly unzipped my dress, and let it fall to the floor. He smirked when he saw my straplees bra and matching thong.

"You like?" I asked, in a teasing voice

"Mmm, baby. Very much. However, those aren't gonna be on you much longer. Mrs. McLean"

"Well, Mr. McLean, take them off."

Alex led me to the bed and laid me down. He kissed every inch of bare skin on my body, teasing me when he got to my inner thighs.

"Aleexx." I moaned, when he kissed me over my panties. I squirmed trying to get away from his torture.

"You like that?"

"Touch me. Please" I whispered.

"As you wish, but first. I'm getting awfuly hot in this suit. Think you could help me?"

I nodded and grinned, as I sat up in bed. I took off his jacket and tossed it aside. Then, I bent down to kiss him, while unbuttoning his dress shirt. After removing his shirt, I worked on his belt, then pushed his pants down. He covered me with his body, kissing me as his hand ran down my stomach, and he slipped a finger inside me.

"Mmmm. Alex," I moaned, thrusting towards him, "I need you. Please, make love to me."

"Be patient baby." He whipsered in my ear, then kissde my neck, sucking gently on my sensitive spot.

He attacked my neck with his lips and tongue, while his hand was at work in another place. He had two fingers inside me, as he softly massaged my clit with his thumb. He kissed m lips, then left a trail of kisses down to my belly button. He stopped and looked at me, smiling before his tongue came out to tease my clit.

He kept his fingers inside me as his mouth went to work on me. He swirled his tongue in random motions as my legs twitched from the contact.

"Alex. Please." I moaned. "Let me cum."

"Mmm." His voice vibrated against me, making me moan even louder. "You like?"

"Mmm hmm." I answered, in a whimper.

"Cum for me baby. Let me taste all of you."

When I heard that, I let go. My body shook as he kept going with his tongue, licking me completely clean. After he was down, he crawled back up to me, kissing me deeply.

I could feel him growing against me, his hard member was pressing up against me, making me wet all over again.

"I love you Meggie." He said.

"I love you Alex."

Without warning, he swiftly thrusted himself deep inside me.

"Oh Alex!"

After a few seconds, my hips matched his thrusts as his groans got louder and our climax built up.

"God Megan. FUCK!"

"Alex! ALEX! Harder baby." I panted.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to go deeper.

I could feel myself almost there. I gripped his back and pulled him closer to me.

"BABY! Oh ALEX!!"

I could feel his entire body shiver as his orgasm took control of him. He kissed me one last time, before resting his head on my chest. I stroked his head, and whispere softly to him. "I love you so much baby. I'm so happy we're together."

He rolled off of me, and cudled me in his arms, "I love you Meggie. You're my best friend, my lover, my wife, and my soul mate. I never want to leave your side for the rest of my life."

He leaned down and kissed my belly, then laid his head on my stomach, "And soon, we'll get to meet our little one."

I placed my hand on my stomach, "I know. I can't wait. I can't believe we're gonna be parents."

"I know. I hope I'll make a good father."

I looked down, "Alex, you're gonna make an amazing father."

"I hope."

I noticed the change in his voice, and his sudden change in mood. "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Come up here."

He moved back up and we leaned against the head board. "You are the most amazing man I've ever met. You are gonna make the best father in the world. I know this because I know you. I know how loving and caring you are."

I saw teard forming in his eyes, "Alex? What's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

"Of having a baby?"

He nodded slowly, and wiped a tear away with the back of his hand.

I pulled him close to me, "Alex. I'm scared too. But, I know we'll be fine. I believe it."

"Yeah. I'm just scared she'll hate me."

"She? How do you know it's a girl?"

"I don't, but I hope it is. And, I hope she's just like you."

"I do want a little girl. But, I want a little boy too. One just like you...well, not exactly like you. I couldn't handle that worry when he starts dating." I giggled

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I-Are you sure our child won't hate me?"

"Alex. I am positive. You are a good man."

"I try. I just worry what they'll think of my past, you know?"

"Your past is the past. All our children will care about is that you're their father and you love them."

Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry baby."

"It's ok. I understand."

"I didn't mean to ruin our wedding night."

"You didn't ruin it. It was amazing. And, it's not over yet ya know."

He raised one eyebrow and rolled back ontop of me. "I Love you."

"I love you Alex." I kissed him, as we began another round of love making.

I'm now 6 months pregnant. It's really hectic around our house. We've got friends and family stopping by all the time, and of course there's the fact that Alex is working on a nusery. Of course, being the secretive husband he is, he wants it to be a surprise. He swears I'll love it, and i know I will. I just like to tease him, and claim I'm not sure I'll like it.

"Meggie?" Alex called from upstairs.

"Yeah babe?"

"When Brian gets here will you let him in? He should be here any minute to help me finish."

"Sure sweetie."

I went back to my cake I was making. We were having a dinner party tonight, so I was finishing the last touches on my perfect flowers. It was almost 2, which meant I needed to get dinner started soon. We decided to have a good home cooked meal, as opposed to grilling out like we usually do when the guys come over. Tonight, our home would be overflowing with people. It was kind of like a joint dinner party/baby shower. My parents, brother, Denise, Tony, all the guys, and their wives, including Kevin and Kristin. Then, there were the kids that would be there! I just know my nerves will be a wreck tonight.

About an hour later, I was in the kitchen busy at perfecting my cheesy breaded chicken pasta. I heard a crash upstairs, where Alex and Brian were. At first it worried me, until I heard an almost automatic curse following the crash. I chuckled when I heard Alex grunt and say, "Shit that hurt."



Once six rolled around, we had people sitting around chatting and having a great time. I hadn't seen my husband or Brian in at least 3 hours, and was starting to get worried. I waddled up the stairs, and down the hall. When I reached the nursery, I knocked, heard some shuffling, then saw the door crack. Alex popped his head out.

"Can I help you miss?"

I grinned, "Can I see?"

"Not yet ma'am." He giggled, "You have to wait til we're done. How about after dinner?"

"But baby.." I whined.

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Grabbing my hips, he guided me to the wall, and kissed my lips softly. After he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against mine.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I love you." He whispered.

I smiled and whispered back, "I love you too."

He bent down to my growing belly, placing his hand on me, "I love you too baby." He kissed my stomach and smiled at me when he stood back up.

"Lemme get back to this and then you may see it."

"OK. I guess I can wait a little longer ."


Dinner was great. Everyoe was getting along and talking. We were all sharing different stories from the past month or two. We hadn't all been together since the wedding. I noticed Alex acting a little strange during dinner, but didn't question it at the time. I figured he was just nervous about me liking the nursery. Although something kept telling me otherwise.

Alex offered to get desert from the kitchen, so I followed him to help. When I got to the kitchen, I saw him shuffling, trying to hide something. I couldn't tell what it was, but didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Alex? You ok?"

"Yeah." He said, turning and smiling. "Come here and kiss me before anyone sees." He winked before his lips were on mine. After the kiss, I looked into his eyes.

"Are you sure you're alright? You're acting kind of...like you've got your mind somewhere else."

"I'm fine sweetheart." He smiled. "Now, let's serve desert so I can take you to see the nursery."

After desert, Alex and Brian ran back upstairs. After a few minutes, Brian came to get me.

Before I went upstairs, I stoped to talke to Brian.

"Brian, has Alex been acting weird to you?"

"A little. I-nevermind."

"No, what?"

"It's almost like he's..you know.."

"Drinking again?"

"Yeah." Brian answered, and hung his head.

"That's exatly what I was thinking. God, what if he is?"

"Don't assume anything. Just go on with the night, hope he isn't, and then ask him later if he's still acting weird."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." I said, before heading up the stairs.

Brian stayed downstairs, knowing we wanted to share this moment alone together.

I decided to act like nothing was wrong, and just be excited for the nursery. When I got to the door, Alex walked behind me and put his hands over my eyes.

"Ready?" He asked as he guided me in the room.

"Yes!" I squealed.

He laughed and moved his hands, recieving a gasp from me.

It was beautiful. The entire room was painted pale yellow, with Winnie The Pooh characters painted on one wall. He painted them all himself, and were perfect. There was an adorable white crib in one corner, and a matching changing table in another. On the other side of the room was a rocking chair, white of course. And, an area with a soft rug and stuffed animals for when the baby's old enough to crawl around.

On one wall there were six pictures hanging in matching glass frames. The first was a picture of Alex and I as babies sharing a bath. The next, as kids on our tire swing. Followed by the picture of us at Disney World when we were 15. Then, our wedding picture. The next, was our first sonogram picture. The very last, was an empty frame.

"What's this for?" I asked as I touched the empty frame.

"That's for our first family picture." He answered softly. "I thought after the baby is a few months old, we can have it taken.

I felt a few tears slip from my eyes, as Alex stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You like it baby?"

I turned to looked at him, and smiled. "I love it." I whispered, barely audible.

After everyone left, we spent the night sleeping on the floor of our new nursery. Alex brought in some comfy blanket and pillows, he said we could sorta camp out. He turned on the night light he picked out so we'd have just the right amount of light without getting candles out.

We just laid there holding each other, listening to each others hearts beating. I could never explain what I felt when I was in his arms. It was like the entire world was on pause, and we were the only two people on earth. The way he wrapped his arms so tight around me, the way he smelled, the sound of his breathing, it was just heaven.

The way he was holding me was giving me hints that something was wrong. He was holding me as close as he could, almost as if he was trying to keep himself from crying. I didn't want to ruin the evening and push him to tell me what's wrong, so I decided to let it go until the morning.

"I love you Alex." I whispered as I was drifting to sleep.

"I love you too, baby girl." He answered, drawing me closer to his body.



The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee in the house. I got up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Alex was cooking a full breakfast. He had bacon, eggs, pancakes, bagels, coffee, and orange juice. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

He jumped, "Shit!"

I jumped back a little, "Sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you."

He looked away,"It's ok. Will you grab me the butter?"

I looked at him trying to figure out what was wrong, but did as he asked. I handed him the butter and turned to walk to the table where he had silverware set out, along with two glasses of juice, and his coffee.

I turned back to look at him, he was still ignoring me. So I decided to do the same. I sat at our table drinking my juice, when he brought me a plate, and sat his own down. He still hadn't even looked at me. I couldn't figure out if he was mad at me for something, which wouldn't make sense because he made me breakfast. Or, he was ashamed of something he had done, in which case the breakfast would make perfect sense!

"Alex, did I do something wrong?"

He walked back over to the counter to get a glass of water. He answered while his back was turned toward me. "No, why?"

"Because you won't even look at me!" I yelled, standing up and walking over to him. When I did, I noticed his hands were shaking, and he had something in one of them.

I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me, when I did, he just moved his eyes away.

"ALEX!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little.

He finally looked at me, and when he did, he immediately looked away. And started to walk away. I grabbed his arm, and fought him to stay.

"Megan let me go!"

"NO! What is wrong!? Alex please just tell me!"

By this time I was in tears, pleading with him to let me know.

"I....I-I can't Megan."

"Why are you calling me Megan? You only call me that when there's a problem! Alex, we've told each other everything all our lives. Why won't you tell me now?"

"Because I'm afraid to."

"Why?"

"I- I have to go."

I grabbed his hands as he was trying to leave, when I did, he dropped 4 little blue pills on the floor.

"Alex?" I gasped

"Megs-I..I don't know what to say."

"How long?"

"A few weeks." He said, hanging his head.

"Why Alex? 6 years sober.. Why?"

'Because I'm afraid I'm going to be a horrible father."

"Alex."

"Don't fucking tell me I'm not!" He had a sudden outburst.

"Alex, you are not your father. And you're not going to turn into him."

"You don't know that."

I turned to look at him, his eyes were full of pain and anger. I reached out to cup his cheek, "Alex why didn't you just say something? I could've helped you."

He shrugged my hand off, and pushed me away, "NO! No you couldn't Megan! It's my life to fuck up! You can't do a shittin thing about it!"

"Why the hell are you yelling at me!?"

Alex and I hardly ever fight. But, when we do, they could be in the record book for yelling, swearing, and tears.

"Because I'm not in the mood for a speech! I know I fucked up! I've been fucking up for almost 3 fucking weeks!!"

"Alex. You can get over this! You could check back into to rehab or-"

"NO! Just face it Megan! You married a worthless fuck!"

He stormed out the door, and out to his car. After a second or two, I heard him speed off. I sat on the couch slowly. Going over the past 10 minutes in my head. Trying to grasp what just happened. Not knowing what else to do, I called Kevin.

"Hello?"

"Kevin?" I sniffed.

I tried to hold my tears. But broke, as soon as I heard him ask, "Whats wrong Meggie?"

"It's Alex. He's-"

"Drinking again?"

"No. Wel, he might be. But, he's been using again. For three weeks. We just had one of the worst fights in history because I caught him with pills." I sobbed.

"What kind of pills?!"

"I don't know. They are little blue ones, he had 4 of em."

"Is he doing any other drug?"

"I don't know, he said he was a worthless fuck and left." I sniffled.

"God. I don't understand why he'd go back to it. Has he been hanging out with new people?"

"I don't think so. But, I don't know. Who knows if he's really been at the studio when he claims he is. Kevin, I don't know what to do. I can't handle this again. Last time almost broke me."

"I know sweetie. Let me call the fellas, and talk to em. Maybe we can come up with a plan. Have you talked to Denise yet?"

"No. I don't wanna scare her."

"Maybe that's for the best, she doesn't need to be told yet. She'd just freak out. I'll call you back in a hour or so."

"OK, thanks Kev. Love you."

"Love you too sweetie, bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and stared at the floor, just remembering the past. All those times when Alex was so messed up he didn't know where he was, or what he was doing. Then, there were those two times he overdoesed. I couldn't go through that again. He refused to go to the hospital both times because he didn't want to let the fans down.

I found him both times. He looked dead. I thought he was. I've never been so scared in my life, until now. Now, we were married, and I was pregnant. I was having his baby in 3 months. Now, I didn't know if we'd still be together, or even if Alex would be alive.

If he was hanging out with new people, then he would be influenced. He's not very strong when it comes to wanting people to like him. All he wants out of life is for people to love him, and doing drugs with the druggies, make them like you.

I was driving myself crazy thinking of the past, and all the possibilities of our future. I could see us happy together, raising our children. But then, I could see him not stopping, and etting hurt, or even killing himself.



I went back up to the nursery, my new favorite room. I sat in the rocking chair, and looked over at the wall with our pictures. I curled my legs up in the chair as best I could with my belly. I rocked myslef as I cried. I heard the phone ring, and pulled it from my pocket. Kat.

"Yes?" I answered softly

"Megs? What's wrong?"

"Are you busy?" I asked softly

"No. Why?"

"Can you come over? Please."

"Sure honey, should I bring Nick?"

"If you want. I need you."

"I'll be right there Meg."

I didn't say another word when I hung up. I continued to rock myself until Kat got there.

She let herself in. I could hear her walking around, calling my name. I didn't answer. I just didn't have the strength to.

I heard her getting closer, and looked out the door into the hallway. When she saw me, she stopped an gasped at seeing the room. She had a smile on her face as she looked around. That is, unil she saw me. Her smile quickly faded as she kneeled down in front of me.

"Meggie?"

I looked at her, still not speaking. I just broke into tears and fell into her embrace.

She stroked my back as she asked, "Megan what's wrong? What happened? Where's AJ?"

"Hearing his name made me cry more. I broke from her and looked at the floor. "He left."

"Where'd he go?"

"I don't know. We had a fight."

"Megan, you guys will work it out. You always do. What was your fight about?"

"I caught him doing drugs."

Kat gasped and wrapped her arm around me. Then, Nick walked into the room, talking on his cell.

"Yeah.... OK.... Later Bone." Nick said, and closed his phone

"Meggie. That was J."

"I could tell."

"He's at the studio. He wants me to meet him there. Should I know what's going on before I go?"

"I caught him doing drugs, Nick."

"WHAT?!"

"He had pills. He admitted it. Said he's been doing it for almost 3 weeks. I don't know if it's just pills or more. I do't know if he's drinking again, or if he's back on coke."

"Oh my God." Nick said.

"What?" I asked, and looked up at him.

"Last night, me and Brian thought he was acting weird. And, I thought I saw him pouring something into his drink. I bet it was Jack. He had a coke, so now, I'm pretty sure it was."

"I don't know what to do. I love him more than anything in the entire world. And, I'd never leave him, but what am I supposed to do? Just sit here and let him kill himself?"

"Megan, I'm sure everything will be ok." Nick said, pulling me into a hug.

"What if it's not Nick? What if he doesn't stop? What if..what if he leaves me? And the baby." I sobbed.

"Megs," Nick turned me to look in my eyes, "AJ would never leave you. Or the baby. You know that."

We all walked downstairs, into the living room. I sat down on the couch while Kat and Nick kissed goodbye. Nick smiled at me, waved his hand and left to meet Alex at the studio. And left Kat to keep my mind off everything, which was nearly impossible.




~Nick's POV~


I walked into the studio, and saw AJ curled up on the couch. I could hear faint sobs coming from him, and when I got closer, I saw the empty bottle on the floor.

"J?"

He sat up slowly, wiping his face.

"Hey man."

"What the hell man?"

"Nick..I don't know what I'm doing."

"How long?"

"Almost three week." He answered with a sigh.

"Why? And what have you been doing?"

"Just some pills, and drinking. I'm not doing cocaine again, if that's what you're thinking. The pills, they just make me feel nothing, ya know."

"Why AJ?"

"Because I'm scared to death of having a baby. All I've ever wanted is to have a family with a woman I love, and I have that, but what do I do? I fuck it all up." He put his head in his hands, sitting back down on the couch.

"J," I sat down by him, "Megan loves you more than life itself. To her, you are everything. She's a mess."

He looked at me, "You saw her?"

I nodded, "She called Kat, asked her to come over. Kat asked me to go because of the way she sounded on the phone. When I got there, you called. So I stayed downstairs until we hung up. When I got upstairs, Megs was laying on the floor in the nursery. You did good by the way." I Smiled

"Thanks"

"Anyway, she was in tears, freaking out about how you guys aren't gonna be together, and how she's afraid you'll kill yourself with drugs."

AJ rubbed his face, and started to speak. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

"I do. But, it may take a while. All she could talk about was.."

"Was what?"

"How she couldn't bare to find you on the floor again. Like the two times you..well, you know."

"Yeah." He whispered. "I know."

"Look, J. I'm here for you. We all are. We always will be. But, you've gotta get help...How much have you took today?"

"A few pills earlier. I started to drink that bottle, but I poured it down he drain after 2 drinks."

"See, you're already getting better."

"No, after I poured it, I took another pill to make up for it."

"Alex." I sighed.

"I know Nick. I've already told Megan. I'm a fuck up. I know that. The sooner everyone comes to terms with it, the better."

"You're not a fuck up. We all make mistakes. I've made the same mistakes you have. Hell, mine may have been worse."

"No Nick. You didn't finally realize the only thing you wanted is your life was right there your entire life. Then, marry her, make a baby with her, and then fuck it to hell once again."

"J. You guys will get through this."

"I''m gonna go. I need to talk to her."

"Good. I'll swing by and pick up Kat, so you guys can be alone."




~Megan's POV~

I was cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast, that was never eaten, when I heard the front door open, then close. I heard Kat and Nick speaking. Then, heard Alex answer Kat's question.

I wasn't ready to talk. I was so hurt, confused, scared, and angry that I just wanted to be left alone. But, of course, that wasn't going to happen.

"Meggie, can we talk?" He asked softly as he entered the room.

I turned to face him. "Oh, now it's Meggie? Are we suddenly all better?" I asked sarcastically.

"No. I know we're not. I know it's gonna take time."

Before I got the chane to answer, his cell rang.

He let out a deep sigh, and looked at me as he answered.

"Hello?...I know...I am...I will...Yes...I've gotta go...Because I'm trying to save my marriage."

He shut his phone and put his hands on my shoulders.

"So you called him?"

I nodded. "I didn't know what else to do. Kevin was the first person that came to mind."

"Did you call my mom?"

I shook my head, "No. I didn't want her to worry."

He took my hand and led me to the couch, sitting down he started to cry.

"Meggie, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm doing."

"What exactly are you doing? Are you drinking too?"

He nodded. "I've only been drinking and taking those pills. Not cocaine."

"What pills are they?"

" I don't know. I got em from Chris."

"So you're back with that crowd from 9 years ago? Dammit Alex why?"

"Becuase it hide my pain. It lets me blow off steam."

"You can't go downstairs to your gym and workout to blow off steam? That used to help you feel better."

"I know." He answered quietly.

"Are you gonna stop?"

He didn't answer. He just sat there, saring at the floor.

"Alex! You're not are you?! I can't fucking believe you!"

"Megan, calm down. You're gonna hurt yourself."

"NO! I'm not gonna calm down when you expect me to let you destroy yourself, and us!"

I stood up so I could let my anger out. "You think I'm gonna sit around while you fuck up your life again? I was there last time! And it almost fucking killed me to see you like that! I fucking refuse to do it again!"

"Megan stop!." He tried to grab my arms, but I threw him off me and ran out the door. I didn't care where I was going, but I wasn't about to stay there.

I heard him behind me as I ran down our driveway. "MEGAN STOP! PLEASE!"

I ignored him asI ran into the street. I didn't even see the car coming, until it was too close. When it hit me, it threw me back into our yard. My stomach was in excruciating pain, and I couldn't feel my legs at all, and all I could see was blood, and Alex running to me, screaming.

I saw Nick and Kat, who hadn't left yet, run towards me. When Alex got to me, he dropped to his knees, and cried. He was trying to see where all the blood was coming from. All four of us realized where it was from at the same time.

~AJ'S POV~

The ride to the hospital was just one big blur. Megan wouldn't even talk to me the enitre time. She was in pain, but was awake and aware. She was bleeding pretty bad, but the paramedics didn't think it was too serious. Right. Not too serious. She's bleeding and pregnant, meaning our baby, not to mention Megan, are in danger, but it's not serious.

I've been sitting in the waiting room for about 25 minutes, and I'm about to go off the handle. Nick and Kat are here with me. Right now, Nick's on the phone with my mom, I couldn't bare to call her after what I've done.

I'm so pissed off at myself, I don't know what to do. I want to be the absolute best person I can for Meggie and our baby. Our baby. Damn I hope the baby is alright.

I dropped down on my knees and started to pray. Tears streaming down my face, my hands turning red from gripping them so hard. I sat back in the seat, slouched down, and put my head in my hands.

"ALEX!"

I looked up and saw my mom running to me. I jumped into her arms and cried on her shoulder until she sat us down. She cupped my face, and looked in my eyes.

"Alex?"

"Mom..I-I'm a horrible person."

"No." She shook her head. "You are a wonderful person. You have a big heart, and want nothing but love. She'll be ok baby."

I shook my head, "Mom...I.."

"What baby?" She asked once my voice railed off.

"Family of Megan McLean?"

I jumped out of my seat and stood at attention when I heard the doctor's voice.

"How is my wife? And the baby?"

"Mr. McLean, please follow me."

I did as he asked, following him into the I.C.U. When we reached the nurse's desk, he pulled out her file.

"Mr. McLean, you're wife is fine. She's in recovery right now. Her left leg is broken, but will heal within a few months, and will only need some basic rehab to be back to normal. She has a few scratches and cuts, but other than that, is fine now."

I nodded, "What about our baby?"

"Well, as of right now, we feel the baby is fine. However, we want to keep her here overnight to make sure. With the amount of blood she lost, this is just a precaution. If the baby makes it through the next 24 hours, which I feel she will, then we have no reason to believe your baby girl will have any complications."

My eyes widened, "Girl? Our baby girl?"

"Yes." He smiled

"Can I see her?"

"You may, but we ask that you wait a few minutes. She's being set up in her private room right now. We assumed you'd prefer a private room, due to your celebrity status."

"Yes. Thank you." I shook his hand.

"No problem."



~Megan's POV~

After the nurses left, and I was alone in my bed, I cried. I was relieved that everything with the baby would be fine. But now, I was in a different pain. My heart hurt. I hadn't heard from Alex yet, which was making me feel worse.

Speaking of Alex. I wish I knew what to do. I love him more than anything in this world, to me he is the world. But, I couldn't stand by and let him destroy himself.

I looked down at me belly, and rubbed it as I spoke to the baby.

"Hey little one. I love you, you know that right? And daddy loves you too. Don't think that because we're fighting, that we don't love you. It's just that daddy is being stubborn right now. When you get a little older and get to know him, you'll know exactly what I mean."

I chuckled a little to myself, and continued.

"Anyway, we love you, and want the best for you. I just don't know what to do with him. He's hurting himself right now." I started to get choked up.

Before I could continue talking, I heard footsteps.

"Hi." He said quietly.

"Hi." I answered. He was walking toward me, but stopped when he got close to the bed. "How long have you been in here?"

"Just a few seconds."

"Oh."

"I had to make sure you were ok. The doctor told me you were, but I had to be sure."

"I'm fine Alex." I sighed.

"Good. And our baby girl?"

"She's fine...girl?"

"Yeah. The doctor told me. He said our baby girl would be fine."

I smiled and looked back down at my belly.

"Baby girl. I can't wait to meet you. But, don't you come out before you're supposed to."

He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

I shrugged. "Do what you want. You will anyway."

He let out a loud sigh. "Meggie-"

"No."

"No what?"

"No to all of it. I don't want to hear it."

"Hear what?"

"Your bullshit Alex. I can't do it."

"Meggie, I'm sorry." He let out a quiet sob.

"Alex. I was there through all of this shit before. I can't do it now. I won't"

I started to tear up, I hated being this way with him, but the only thing that works on him is tough love.

"I know I fucked up. I know I need to change. Again."

"Alex, I'm really tired. I just want to be left alone."

He sat there looking at me. When I met his gaze, I gave a look that let him know I was serious.

"Ok. I'll come back later. Get some rest. I love you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

He sat there for a few seconds until he realized I wasn't saying it back this time. By the time he closed the door, I turned my head and sobbed.



~AJ's POV~


By the time I closed the door, I was in tears. I leaned against the wall, and slid down to the floor, putting my hands over my face, I bawled like a little baby.

"What did I do? How could I have done it! How could I be so FUCKING STUPID!?" I stood up, screaming. I was hitting the wall, I saw the blood running down my hand, but didn't care. I couldn't feel anything.

I saw Nick, Kat, and my mom running to me. Nick grabbed me and fought to take me down the hall. When I looked back, Kat and mom were gong into my wife's room.

~AJ'S POV~

Nick dragged me down the hall after I attacked the wall. I don't know why, but something inside me just snapped. I just started beating the wall, I saw the blood, but even that didn't stop me. It took Nick fighting me to get me to stop. Now I'm in the waiting room waiting to have my hand put in a cast because I broke it in two places.

I didn't even feel the pain in it. The pain I was feeling in my heart was overtaking anything else I could ever feel.

I turned to Nick, with tears obviously not far away.

"Nick, what am I gonna do? She told me to leave. I told her I loved her...and she." I stopped when I choked up. "She just looked away. She didn't say it back. Why didn't she say it back?" I whined.

"J. Man, I wish I could help. But, I think this time it's between you two. I don't think she'll listen to anything I say."

I nodded. "Yeah." I whispered. "I've gotta find a way back. I love her, I refuse to lose her over this shit."

"So you're gonna stop?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I have to. I think this time, it's even more clear. It's like..I don't know. It's hard to explain."

Nick nodded, "So, you're gonna stop drinking too right?"

I let out a loud sigh. "I'm gonna try. But, let me tell you. That bottle's sounding really good right now."

"I know. Trust me I know. But, remember. You have Megan, and a baby girl that need you. I'm pretty sure Megan could not live without you."

I nodded as I was called in by the nurse.





After they set my hand in a cast, I went downstairs to the chapel the hospital has for family of patients. I walked in slowly, I don't even remember the last time I was in a church. There was no one else inside, so I went to the very front seat. I sat down, and just cried and prayed.

"God, please. Please help me. Help me stop drinking. Help me finally just put a stop to my stupid behavior. Let Meggie forgive me. Rmind her she loves me. And that I love her more than anything."

I dropped down onto my knees, "I love her! I can't live without her!" I started to raise my voice

"Please God..please." I whispered and sat back in the pue, and looked straight ahead at the candles flickering in front of me.





~MEGAN'S POV~


I heard something outside my room that sounded like screaming and hitting. The first thing that came to mind was that Alex was the person behind it.

After resting for a few minutes, i drifted off to sleep, only to be woken up about an hour or so later when Kat and Denise came in my room. I offered a soft smile when they sat down.

"Hey baby girl." Denise said. "How you feel?"

"I'm fine. I don't feel any pain, and the baby is fine. I just have to stay overnight for observations. Then, I have to take it easy and not do much til the baby is born."

"That's good. We were all so worried about you." She answered, smiling at me.

I looked at Kat, "Kat? Was that Alex out there earlier?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he broke his hand punching the wall."

Denise broke in, "I don't understand. If everything is fine, then why is he so mad?"

I bit my bottom lip and sighed. "Denise. I-I don't know how to tell you this."

She sat up straighter and gave me her full attention.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I told her. "Denise, he's been acting weird lately. And this morning, he made breakfast. But, he wouldn't even look at me. He just ignored me. During my fight to make him look at me, I grabbed his hands. And...he dropped four pills on the floor. Four pills that he was about to take. He's been taking pills and drinking for three weeks. He admitted it."

"Oh my God." She whispered. "But, why?"

"I don't know. He said because he's scared and nervous about being a dad."

There was a silence for a few seconds, then, the door opened and Alex walked in. Kat and Denise got up to leave us alone. On the way out, Denise looked at Alex and shook her head, making Alex apologize to her.

He walked over to my bed and pulled the chair as close as he could to me.

"Hey." He said, quietly.

I looked at him.

"Baby, please say something to me. Please."

"What do you want me to say?"

"That you love me and you'll stay with me. And that we'll be ok." He took my hand in his.

I looked down and saw his cast, then back up ino his eyes. He leaned down and kissed me. For a minute, I kissed him back, but pushed him off soon after.

"Alex I can't do it again! I can't see you like that. You have no idea how hard it was to find you on the floor almost dead. Twice." I started crying again. "I thought you were dead. Do you know what I felt? I have never been so scared in my life. And, now you're doing that again. What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and watch you hurt and kill yourself?"

After I let it out, I covered my face with my hands and cried. When I took them away. I saw his face. He was crying and looking at the floor. I felt bad, but at the same time, I knew it had to be said to make him stop.

"Meggie," He looked at me, his eyes were red and puffy, but also sincere. "I'm so sorry. I sorry baby."

He cupped my face, and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "Baby girl. Please don't leave me."

"Alex." I sighed. "I love you. You know that. I love you more than anything in the world. But, if you're not going to stop and get help, then I can't stay." I said, wiping my hands over my face.

"Baby girl. I want to be with you. I want to take care of you, and our baby. Meggie, I promise you that I will get help."

I sat quietly, looking down at my hands folded on my lap.

"Meggie?" Alex let out a sigh, and softly asked, "You don't believe me do you? You don't trust me."

"Alex...it's not that I don't want to believe and trust you. It's just that..this is the exact same thing that happened ten years ago. You get caught, by me, promise to change, but then don't. How do I know you're not just saying this to get me to stay?"

I searched his eyes for my answer, but, when I looked into them, I didn't see Alex...I saw AJ."

"Alexander. You're fucking high right now aren't you!?!"

When he didn't answer me, I knew it was true.

"GET OUT!"

"Baby please." He pleaded.

"AJ I don't wanna hear it! Leave!"

I pointed at the door, and watched him leave. When he opened the door, he turned around to look at me before leaving. When I heard the door close, I broke. I let tears just flow down my face, and was crying so hard it hurt to breathe.

It must've have been five minutes before I heard my door open again. When I looked up, I saw Kat. She came to my bed and wrapped her arms around me, aloowing me to use her shoulder as a pillow.

"Megan what happened? I heard you yell, then saw AJ walking down the hall..he looked like he just had the life sucked out of him."

"He-he..he promised he was gonna get help. He swore to me not even 10 minutes ago. He was high. He took pills earlier today. So, I told him to get out."

"Megan..I'm so sorry."

"What am I gonna do Kat? How do I get him to stop?"

"I don't know sweetie...maybe you should just get some sleep. We can talk in the morning."

"Ok..maybe you're right. Goodnight."

"Night hun."





~AJ'S POV~

Megan yelled at me and told me to get out. I guess I can't really blame her. I took a pill earlier, I don't even know why. I waslked down the hall, ignoring they guys and my mom. I just kept walking til I got to the waiting room. I sat in a chair on the other side of the room, away from everyone. I just wanted to be left alone so I could think.

I had already made up my mind that I would never again take a pill, or take a drink. Coming this close to losing Megan, really woke me up. Now, I just have to find a way to get her to belive me.

"AJ?"

I sighed, knowing exactly who it was. I looked up and answered.

"Yeah Kev?"

"What happened?"

I started to tell him everything, not leaving out one detail of the past three weeks.

"Are you gonna stop?"

"Yes," I nodded, "I love her more than anyone in this world. And nothing is worth losing her." I wiped a tear off my cheek.

"Good Alex. Good."

"I only have one problem."

"What's that?"

"She won't listen to me. She told me to get out. She doesn't trust me anymore."

"I'm sure there's a way to get that back. She loves you."

"I hope she still does."

I was released from the hospital the day before yesterday, and still have not spoken to Alex. He's tried of course, but I'm just not ready. I still can't believe he's been drinking and taking pills again. I'm relieved that he's not doing cocaine again, but he's still hurting himself, and I cannot stand to watch. Just about everyone has called my phone, from Kevin to Leigh Ann and even Baylee's called me a few times. He told me he had to make sure Aunt Meggie and the baby were ok. It's amazing that I'm still in awe everytime I look at Baylee. He really is a walking angel.

Back to Alex, Kat has been staying with me. Alex has been staying with Nick, knowing I don't want him around right now. Kat told me he's been working on something since that day in the hospital. She doesn't know what it is, but she said he's been spending hours on it, not sleeping so that he can finish it. I also heard from Denise. She said he stopped by to apologize to her, and to ask how he could get me back. I told her that I didn't leave, I'm just taking a break from him.

And, when Kevin called, we spent a good two hours talking about Alex. He told me how Alex was after I kicked him out, and that he was sure Alex was serious about stopping. I've gotta admit, if he could convine Kevin, then maybe we would be fine.

I really am torn, 95 percent of me wants me to listen to Kevin and forgive him, and go back to how we were. But, the other 5 percent is reminding me of ten years ago and telling me to make him work at it. At this point, I don't even know what he could do to show me that he's still Alex.


~AJ'S POV~

I've been running ragged for the past 2 1/2 days. I want to show Megan how much I love her and how much I care about her. I know a present isn't going to make her forgive me. But, something made from my heart will help to show her how I feel. And, hopefully, she'll believe that I want to change.

I started going to AA meetings again. I've been to three so far, the first being the day she kicked me out of the hospital. I know that I never want to do anything to jeopardize my relationship again, so that in itself guarantees that I won't relapse again.

Yesterday morning I went to see my mom. I wanted to apologize to her for hurting her, yet again. But, I also went to go through some old things of mine, and to get some things she's kept over the years. I'm making Meggie a scrapbook of our lives. I know it's nothing spectacular, but, I hope it means as much to her as it will mean to me.

I found hundreds of picures of us, inluding baby pictures, class photos, prom, graduation, backstage at our shows, weddings, just about any time in our lives was documented with a picture. I also found newspaper articles from some performances, and some other random things that would only hold sentimental value to us.

I stopped by a craft store on my way to Nick's, where I'm staying for now. I got tons of crap you use to make scrapbooks frilly and whatnot. I could only imagine if a fan saw me buying lace and glitter pens. Haha, I know you're probably giggling at me, but hey, I love her.

Anyway back to my story, I'm currently putting the finishing touches on the scrapbook. It's taken me a grand total of 26 hours to make, and I'm exhausted. But, when I'm done, I'm going straight home to give it to her.



~MEGAN'S POV~

I spent the day hanging around the house with Kat. Since I was released from the hospital, I was told to sit and lay around as much as possible. It's now 7, and Kat's going out with Nick any minute, leaving me alone tonight, which I suppose is gonna have to be alright.

Just as I was putting a hot pocket in the microwave, I heard the front door open and close. I figured it was Nick, so I didn't bother to check it out. A few seconds later, I heard his voice. Even though I was mad at him, it was so raspy and sexy.

"Hey."

I turned around slowly, looked at him for a second, and then spoke. "Hello."

This was the first time I'd talked to or seen him since I kicked him out of my room. So, we both were cautious.

"How are you?" He asked softly, concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine. So is the baby." I half smiled.

"Good. I've been worrying about you."

"Alex, you don't need to. I'm fine."

"I know, but I worry when I can't be there to protect you."

"Yeah.." I trailed off. "Have you eaten?"

He shook his head. "Not in three days."

"Alex."

"I've been really busy. I've started AA meetings, I've been to three so far."

I smiled a little, but inside I was ecsatic. Maybe he was serious about changing.

"I'm glad Alex. I really am." I paused for a minute. "I talked to Kevin."

"Yeah?" He asked as we sat down.

I nodded, "He told me what you said in the hospital." I stopped talking when I saw a gift wrapped box on the coffee table. "What's that?"

He smiled, "It's for you. I made it. I've been working on it for 2 days."

He picked up the box and handed it to me. I got more comfortable on the couch before opening it. When I opened the box, I saw something red with white lace. I took it out of the box and realized it was a scrapbook. The outside was a red, plush material, with white lace trim around it. I looked up at Alex, he was watching me, with a sparkle in his eye. A sparkle that I haven't seen in weeks.

I opened the book and saw a letter he wrote to me.

'Meggie,

I love you more than anything in this world. I love you more than life itself. I promise you, with everything I am, that I will continue to love you even after death do us part. I want to spend the rest of my life, and afterlife with you. I want to raise our children, and grow old together. I promise I will find a way back into your heart. I made this for you, if at anytime you feel what we have is slipping, open this, your heart will remember what we mean to each other. I love you baby girl. And will always love you. You are my complete world, nothing else matters to me.

Love,
Alex'


After reading the letter, I wiped a tear away, and turned the page. As I looked through it, I saw the detail he put into it. He must've been up all night doing it. There were pictures and clippings from every part of our lives. From birth, to our honeymoon.

My favorite, was the page he made for my prom. He was my escor to my senior prom. He was a year older than me, and already out of school, and also well on his way to celebrity status. But, he found time to take me. The picture he put was us outside the school. He had on a traditional tux, with a flower, and I was wearing a light yellow gown, an dmy corsage he bought me. We were smiling so big in the picture, I'm surprised we didn't pull a muscle in our faces.

On the same page, he also had a napkin that had my lipstick print on it. We were joking around, so I kissed the napkin at the afterprom, even I didn't know he kept that. Also, there was a newspaper headline with the announcements of prom king and queen. No, we didn't win. But, we did dance to their song, even though we weren't supposed to. But hey, we were so excited that they were playing As Long As You Love Me, that we didn't care.


After I finished the enitre scrapbook. I looked over at Alex. He was watching me the whole time, and I could tell in his eyes that he was hopeful.

"Alex. I don't know what to say." I said quietly, looking into his eyes

He took my hand, and brought it to his lips. "I love you baby."

I sat there, quietly thinking to myself, as I made the what seemed like the hardest decision of my life.

Looking down at my hand intwined with his, seeing his cast, and the bruises on his hand and wrist from punching the wall, made me think of how much I know he loves me.

"Alex" I whispered. I troked his cheek with my free hand, "I love you so much. You know that, I want us to be ok. But, are you going to stop? Please, tell me the truth."

Alex shifted himself on the couch, wrapped one arm around my waist, and tilted my chin up to him. While looking in my eyes, he softly smiled and spoke.

"Megan. I promise you that I will never, ever take another drink, or another pill, or do any type of drug ever again. I love you too much to ever jeopardize us. I know I messed up these past few weeks, and I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

He paused for a moment to wipe a tear off my cheek, and one off his.

"I swear to you baby girl. I will be the best husband and best friend you could ever ask for. And, the scrapbook isn't all I have for you. Well, it's really a present for the baby." He smiled.

I got a little anxious when I saw his smile as he picked up the gift bag. He handed me the bag, and kissed my nose as I opened it. I removed the tissue paper and pulled out a quilt. I opened it to take a good look, and realized it looked familiar.

"Alex? Why does this look so familiar to me?" I asked, looking at him.

"Because this is the quilt my grandma made when I was born. It's the quilt I had to use until I was ten, and even then tried to use when no one was around. I thought it was gone, until I was at mom's looking for pictures. I found this trunk in the attic. When I opened it, I couldn't believe it."

I covered us with the quilt, and cuddled with him on the couch.

"I loved this quilt to death, and I want our baby to have it so she'll always have a part of her great grandma with her."

"Thank you Alex. She'll love it. I love it."

"You're welcome baby."

We laid there together for a few minutes without moving or even speaking. Then, without notice, I sat up, turned to him, and kissed him.

It had been so long since we'd had a passionate kiss like that. We've never gone more than a few days, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

He pulled away to look at me. "Baby girl?"

"I love you Alex." I kissed him again, "I love you and want to spend my life with you. I never wanted to leave you."

"I love you Meggie."

We kissed for a while, until the kisses turned into a make out session like a couple of teenagers. After a while, he pulled away.

"Let's go upstairs baby." He whispered.

He gently picked me up, careful not to move me to suddenly to protect the baby. I giggled when he laid me on the bed, and watched as he pulled his shirt over his head. I bit my lip when I saw his stomach. It's crazy, after all these years, he still makes me weak when he's showing skin.

Alex covered my body with his, and began trailing kisses over the skin he could see peeking under my clothes. He was well on his way to making me feel things only he could, when I felt something weird.

"Alex." I panicked. "Alex!"

"What baby? What's wrong?!" He exclaimed, while getting up to help me sit up.

"I-I-I think my water just broke."

He stood there staring at me, before running to his cell phone to call the hospital.

After he told them we were on our way, he rushed back to me to carry me to his car.

"Alex. No..this can't be happening. It's too soon! What if something happens? What if something goes wrong?"

"It won't baby. I won't let it." He answered as he kissed my forehead and shut the door, walking around to the driver's side, taking me to the hospital.

Alex carried me into the hospital, screaming for help.

"Someone help please!"

A nurse rushed to him and helped him set me in a wheelchair.

"How far along is she?"

"Only si-six months and a few weeks. Please help her!"

"Sir please, calm down. We'll do everything we can. I'm sure she'll be fine."

She bent down, takng my hand. "Sweetie how far apart are the contracions?"

I squinted my face as another one hit, "About 2 minutes."

I threw my head back in pain, and squeezed Alex's hand. "Baby, wha if something's wrong?" I panicked.

He brushed the hair out of my face, "It won't be baby. I'm gonna call mom and your parents. Then, the guys, and I'll be back in your room with you. I'll only be gone five minutes, I promise.'"

He kissed my cheek, then turned to make his phone calls. As the nurse rolled me down the hall, I started to think of all the ways something could go wrong. What if the baby didn't make it? What if the baby did make it, but had a problem? What would happen if we had another round of drama to deal with?

As they laid me on the bed, I had another contraction so strong, I blacked out for a few seconds. When I came around, Alex was standing over me with a worried look.

"Alex?"

"Shhh. Just rest." He said, rubbing my head.

"What's going on?"

"They're preparing the delivery room for you. And calling in a specialist for pre-mature births."

"Oh God." I whispered, tears sliding down my cheeks. "Alex, I'm so scared. Promise you'll be in there with me."

He took my hand, "I prom-"

A nurse interrupted us before he could finish, "I'm sorry sir, but we can't allow you in the delivery room. These circumstances don't allow us with extra room for another person."

"Alex no!" I shouted and grabbed his arm.

"Baby girl, if they won't let me in, I'll be waiting right outside."

"I love you Alex."

"I love you Meggie." He placed a sweet kiss on my lips, and watched as the rolled me down the hall into the delivery room.



~AJS POV~

Hours passed, and all the friends and family had arrived. I stood in the delivery room, watching the door the doctor would walk through. It had been way too long for them to not come out and talk to me.

"Sweetheart, come sit down."

I turned to look at my mom, she was worried, but then I looked at Meggie's parents. They had so much fear in their eyes I couldn't stand to talk to them.

I leaned against the wall, keeping my eyes focused on where I would see that doctor. And after seemed like 2 more hours of waiting, he appeared.

"Mr. McLean?" He asked.

"Yes?"

"You are now the father of a beautiful baby girl. She's very small, and has to have a tube to help her breathe right now. But, we have every reason to believe that she will be fine within the next 72 hours."

A small smile crept upon my face, but then it faded as I asked, "And Megan?"

He sighed, "Sir, as of right now, she's in serious condition."

"Serious? How serious?" My voice cracked as I asked.

"Well, she lost a lot of blood, and her bod went into shock. Right now she's unconcious." He paused, and looked at the ground. "To be honest sir, I think it would take a miracle for her to come back to us."

At that moment, I broke. My legs gave out, I fell to the floor, and let my sobs out. "Meggie!!" I cried.

I heard mom and Meggies parents rushing to me. "Alex?!" Mom wrapped her arms around me.

"Mom! Meggie! She..she. I can't say it."

The doctor stepped in and explained everything to everyone, then excused himsefl to fill out her paperwork.

I opened my eyes slowly, but didn't move. I was scared at first, I didn't know where I was. I could hear beeping, and faint talking to my left. I recognized Alex's voice, as well as Denise's, and my parents. They were talking about the baby. Oh God, the baby. I remember now. I went into labor.

I turned my head slowly and locked eyes with my husband. He seemed shocked, as did Denise, and even mom and dad. Why would they be shocked to see me?

The four of them rushed to me, and surrounded my bed.

"Baby girl!" Alex bent down and kissed my cheek. When he pulled back, I stroked his cheek with my hand, and brushed a tear away.

"Alex?" I whispered.

"Baby, I can't believe it. You're awake."

"Can't believe what?"

"Megan, we didn't think you'd ever wake up." My mother said.

"What do you mean? How long was I asleep?"

Alex sat on my bed, and pushed the nurse call button. "Baby, you've been in a coma for 4 days and the doctor said it would take a miracle for you to come back."

"Oh my god! What about the baby?! Is she ok?!"

"Shhh. Don't overload yourself. Let us get the doctor and see how you're doing. And our baby is fine. You can see her after the doctor."

"Meg, we're going to excuse ourselves and tidy up your house for when you're released. We love you baby." My dad said, as he and mom left.



After the doctor examined me, he informed us that I was perfectly fine and completely out of harms way. I could even go home in the afternoon.

I was getting dressed, and stopped when I heard the door open and heard a soft whimper.

I turned to see Alex holding our daughter.

"My little girl." I said softly.

"Wanna meet your mommy?" He asked her, she held her ams out.

"Did you name her?" I asked as I took her from him.

"No. I wanted to make sure we wanted the same name."

I smiled at him, "Yes. Britney Lynn."

"She's being released today also, so I get two for one." He smiled, and kissed my head. Then, Britney's head.

"She's so beautiful." I gushed.

"Isn't she? She looks just like her mother."

"Except she has your beautiful eyes." I responded.

Britney let out a loud scream, "And she obviously got your lungs too!" I laughed

"No one can have my lungs! I'm one of a kind." He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I giggled as I looked at Alex, and fell in love with him all over again.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. More than you'll ever know."

He smiled, and kissed my lips. "I love you angel. The doctor said you'd be a miracle. He was right."

Wow time has flown by since Britney was born. Can you believe it's been a whole year? Well, one year tomorrow. Alex is setting up for the party we're having tomorrow. We know she won't remember it, but the first few birthdays are really for the parents not the children, right?

"Baby have you seen that pink, tissue paper stuff? You know the stuff that comes in a roll?" Alex asked, walking into the nursery.

When I turned to answer him, he looked so confused, I giggled. When I brought my hand up to cover my mouth, he stopped me.

"What is so funny missy?"

"You just look so adorable when you're confused!"

Wrapping my arms around his neck, and kissing his cheek, I whispered, "I'm sorry baby boy. I shouldn't make fun of the man I love."

He smirked, letting me know he was up to something now. I slowly backed away from him, ready to run, when he grabbed me. We got our feet twisted and fell to the floor, where he proceeded to tickle me unitl I cried from laughing.

"Say you're sorry! And you better mean it young lady!" He half yelled, while laughing.

In between giggles, I managed to force out,"I'm....I'm sorry!"

After laying on the floor for a few more minutes, Alex got up, then helped me to my feet. He stopped to pick up his little girl, who I swear he loves more than any father has ever loved a child before, and began to tickle her tummy, getting little laughs from her.



After dinner, Alex brought britney back upstairs to her crib. He laid her down and sang her to sleep with the song he wrote for her. After watching her for a few more minutes to make sure she was still breathing, Alex came to bed.

"Can I put her to bed tomorrow?" I asked, as he was undressing.

"Sure babe. I just love singing to her and seeing her smile when she hears my voice." He chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

"I know baby. I feel the same way when you sing to me."

Ales crawled in the bed next to me, checking that the baby monitor was on loud to hear, and softly sang in my ear. He was working on a new song, and always tested them out on me, which I would never complain of.

"What's that song called?" I asked, after liking what I heard.

"Its untitled for now. I don't know what it is about this song, but I want it to be perfect...Because it's about you."
“Really? Will you sing it again?” I whispered.
As Alex was singing it to me, once again, he was gently rubbing my bare back, and kissed my shoulders in between verses. When I began to moan, Alex took his hint, and laid me back in the bed. Crwaling on top of me, he kissed me with all the passion we’d ever had. One thing is for sure, having a baby, hasn’t changed how we feel about each other or our sex lives one bit. As he nibbled on my ear lobe, I tried my best to push his boxers down, but failed. He noticed the trouble I was having, and sat back just enough to take them off himself.
I could feel his erection touching m bare skin, and could feel myself getting wetter by the second.

“Mmm Alex. I need you.” I panted out.
“I love you baby girl. Are you ready?”

I nodded, and he entered me just slightly before we both heard a noise that terrified us both. Something hit the house, hard. Then, immediately we heard Britney scream and begin to cry.
Alex and I ran to the nursery, still hearing something outside. We were relieved to find Brit still in her crib. Alex grabbed her up as I called for the police. We weren’t sure of what could possibly be outside, but didn’t want to take any chances at all.
After a few minutes of silence, after we got Britney to calm down while she clung to Alex like he was going to drop her, we crept downstairs. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I turned and looked at Alex and chuckled a bit.
“How can you find this funny baby?”

“Because usually the wife is holding the baby and the husband goes first to check it out..But we are doing it all wrong.”
We laughed together, before Alex passed Brit off to me, and grabbed a baseball bat in the closest closet. After checking all the rooms downstairs and not finding anything, we saw the lights of the police cars outside.
When we opened the front door to let them in, we couldn’t believe what we saw. Our entire front yard was covered in broken glass and pictures of Alex from the late 90s.
“Mrs. McLean?” The first officer asked as he approached the porch carefully.
“Y-yes.” I answered, not sure of what to think of everything.
“Are you all alright?”

“Yes, we’re fine. What happened out here!?”
“We don’t know yet ma’am. I’m Officer Givens. This is Officer Jones.”
“Thank you so much for coming so soon. This is my husband Alex McLean.”

“Hello sir.” Alex said, reaching his hand out to shake the officers hands.
“And who is this little one?”

I smiled and said, “This is our little girl, Britney. Brit can you say hi to the policemen?”
I waved her chubby little hand for her, and she gave the officers a big smile and giggled.
Just as we were about to step inside to talk, another officer came up to the porch with a paper in his hand.
“Sir, we just found this on the lawn by the cherry tree.”
He handed Officer Givens the folded piece of paper marked AJ.
“AJ? Is that you Mr. McLean?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m known as to my fans.”
Alex took the paper, opening it carefully, and read it. After a few seconds he handed it to me.

‘AJ. You thought you could get away that easily? That was supposed to be my baby. Mine. Not hers. Not that whore you chose to marry. Not to worry, she will be mine. As will you.’

“Alex?” I looked at him, terrified of who this was and what she would do.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed Britney’s little head, while the officers read the note.
“We’re gonna send some people to clean your yard safely and securely, and keep a patrol car outside for the night. But, I can’t allow you to stay here tonight.”
“I understand officer.” Alex said, we’ll grab a few things and leave right away.”

“We can arrange for a car to take you to a safe hotel.”

“Thank you so much sir.” I said as I shook his hand, and we went inside to pack.

Two hours later, we were in a hotel suite, had our little girl finally settled and were ready to get some rest. Alex decided to get a quick shower before bed, while I went to our window and looked outside at the view. Looking out I saw all the lights of the city, the cars driving by, and a few people rushing down the sidewalks. Every woman I saw, I couldn’t help but panic for a second, thinking she could be who wanted our baby and my husband.

I was so consumed in m own little world, I didn’t hear Alex walk up behind me. I jumped when he wrapped his arms around me.

“Baby, it’s just me.” He whispered as he ran his hand through my hair.

“I know. I love you Alex.” I hugged him back and let him lead me to our bed.

After lying down, Alex cuddled up next to me, bringing the blankets over both of us, and wrapping his arm around me. He kissed my lips softly, and softly sang one of my favorite songs to me.

When this whole world gets to crazy
And there’s no where left to run
I know you’ll give me sanctuary
You’re the only truth I know
You’re the road back home
Can you see me, here I am
Standing here, where I’ve always been
And when words are not enough
I climb inside your heart and still find
You’re my safest place to hide

“Alex. Who do you think it is?”

“I honestly don’t know baby girl. I can’t imagine any girl I’ve known who would do this. Even the worst of my ex’s.”

“Do you think whoever it is will succeed?”

“No.” He tightened his grip around me, “With the police, our security system, and with Marcus, I know she won’t.”

“I just really wish I knew who it was. I was looking outside and every woman I saw I thought was her.” I paused for a second, Alex?

“Yeah baby?”

“You don’t think she was watching when the police were there and followed us do you?”

He layed there silent, “I never thought of that.”

“I really don’t know if I can sleep without knowing who it is and where she is. If she was crazy enough to cover our yard with broken glass, who knows what else she’s capable of.”

“I think we’re fine right now. I’m sure they have officers outside our room, and even patrolling outside. The best we can do is rest for now.”

“Should we call our family and the guys and tell them the party is off tomorrow? And warn them to be cautious?”

“Yeah, I forgot. I’ll call Mom, Brian, and Howie. Can you call your parents, Nick and Kat, and Kevin?”

“Yeah.”

We made our phone calls, at 4 am, letting them all know how serious the matter was. After getting off the phone and assuring them all that we were all fine, we decided to attempt sleep once again. Finally, after restlessness that seemed to never let up, I fell asleep around 5:30.


When the sun came up, and Britney cried, I was awake for good. Alex assured me that he could get her and to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t when I saw him sit back in bed holding that beautiful little girl.

“Can you say good morning to mommy?” He said as he waved Brit’s tiny hand for her.

“Dada.”

Alex and I looked at each other in disbelief. Did she actually say dada?

“What was that baby? Can you say it again?” I said to her as I took her from Alex and held her up on her feet.

“Did she say dada?” Alex asked me.

“I think so. It figures she’d say dada before mommy!” I joked with him.

“That’s cause she loves me the bestest.”

I laughed at him, “First, there word bestest doesn’t exist. And second…I just can’t believe she spoke. I was never sure what age was normal for talking.”

“M-mama.” She said again, pointing at me as she said it.

“Oh my God Alex! She said mama!” I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and sat her on the floor to play with her teddy bed, while I found her clothes for the day.

While I showered and dressed, Alex played with Britney, and spent some time on the phone with the police.

As I walked out of the bathroom, Alex told me the police were sending a car to take us to the station, for a lineup to see if we recognized anyone. They had arrested a girl last night they had caught loitering in our neighborhood.

I agreed to go, but only if we didn’t have to take Britney with us. I didn’t want her spending her first birthday in a police station. So we arranged for the car to stop at Kat and Nick’s so they could babysit.

After arriving at Kat and Nick’s we knocked on the door, but never received an answer. After a few more minutes of waiting we knocked again. When we still weren’t answered, I pulled my spare key out of my purse and let us in.

When we walked in, it was clear whoever was at our house last night was at their house today, maybe even still here. Alex walked me back outside, not allowing me in, especially with Britney. He, and the police officer went back inside to search around.


~AJS POV~

We walked inside and everything was a mess. There were DVD’s and CD’s tossed across the room, furniture turned over, and picture frames broken and all over the place.

“Nick!? Kat!?” I screamed, trying to find them in the mess.

When I reached the stairs, the officer stopped me.

“Sir, have you ever fired a gun before?”

“Yes, once a long time ago. Why?”

“I can’t allow you to go any further without one. I already called for backup, and really I shouldn’t allow you to be in here. But, I suppose if I tell you to leave you’ll fight me.”

“You assume correct.”

The officer handed me a gun, and I continued up the stairs. I looked around and saw more of their belongings tossed around carelessly.

“Nick!? Kat!?”

I heard a muffled sound coming from the spare bedroom in the back. When I opened the door, I saw Nick on his phone kneeling next to Kat.

“Oh my God Nick! What happened?”

“Oh thank god, is the ambulance here yet?!”

“No, we saw the house and got scared. What happened?”

“This crazy bitch came in here with a gun and said if we didn’t tell her where you guys were she’d kill Kat. Kat tried to get away, but she shot her.”

“Who was it? Did you get a look at her?” The policeman said.

“No. But her voice was so familiar.”

~MEGANS POV~


I saw an ambulance pull up, as well as 3 more police cars. I got scared and called Alex’s cell trying to get information. He didn’t answer it, but a few seconds later he walked out and hugged me tightly.

“Alex? What’s going on?”

“Kat. She was shot.”

“By who?!”

“Her. She told them to tell her where we were or she’d kill Kat. Kat tried to get away, so she shot her.”

“Is she ok?”

“I think so. But, I’m not sure.”

With all the commotion going on, something made me look to the side of the house, where a girl wearing a black sweatshirt with her hood up dropped something and began to run.

“Officers there she is!” I screamed, watching four policemen take off after her.

Alex and I walked to the side of the house where she was hiding, and found the gun she had used, and looked back to see Kat being loaded into the ambulance.

We finally arrived at the hospital, with Denise watching Brit for us. Sitting around waiting was horrible. Nick thought she was fine, but the paramedics said she was falling on the way to the hospital and it would take a lot to bring her back. Finally, after 2 hours of waiting, we saw the doctor appear.

“Mr. Carter?”

Nick jumped up, “Yeah that’s me! Is Kat ok?”

“She’ll be fine. She lost a lot of blood, and she’s very weak, but she’ll heal. It may take a few months, however. She was shot twice. Once in the shoulder and once in the chest, luckily it was on her right side and missed her heart, as well as other vital organs and arteries. I can’t guarantee when she’ll be able to lift anything for quite some time, and she’ll require help to bathe for a while. I’ll go into more detail later on before she leaves.”

Nick seemed to be in a daze, nodding and sighing a lot.

“Can we see her?” He asked, after shaking the doctor’s hand.

“Of course, but no more than 2 at a time, we don’t have much room in there.” The doctor smiled and left.

“Baby, I hope they catch that psycho bitch.” I whispered to Alex, wrapping my arms around his waist.

‘Me too, Meggie. I’m just so glad Kat’s ok. If she would have died, I would have never forgiven myself.”

“For what? This isn’t your fault, Alex.”

“In a way it is. This girl is around because of me.”

“Alex, look at me.” I turned his face to mine, “This is not your fault. In any way.”

He nodded, and then kissed my nose. “Let’s go see Kat.”


After spending a few minutes with Kat, and being assured she was ok, we decided to leave and let her rest. As we were leaving the room, we saw 2 police officers walking toward us.

“Alexander McLean?” One officer asked, looking highly professional.

“Yes sir. Did you catch her?” Alex asked, taking my hand in his.

“We did.” The other officer answered. “She’s being taken to the station. We need both of you to come down as soon as possible and identify her, if you can.”

“Of course. We will right now. Do you know her name?” Alex asked.

The professional officer answer, “Her name is Natalie Hunter, sir.”

I turned to Alex, to see his reaction. The name meant nothing to me, but the look on his face said different for him.”

“Alex? Who is it?” I asked.

“Remember the night before our wedding, I told you about the girl that I was seeing, that saw your picture. And I told her that you were the girl who owned my heart…I can’t believe it.”

“So she did have a motive? That will make a stronger case against her.” Officer Professional noted.

“Thank you for everything officers. We appreciate it more than we could ever say. We’ll be on our way to the station immediately.” I said, shaking hands with both policemen.


The ride to the police station was silent. As was the process of identifying her. I stood by Alex the entire time, but couldn’t wait till we were out of there and back home.

I called Denise and asked if she would mind to take Brit for the night, which of course she didn’t. I thought tonight would be best to have a quiet night of reflection.

At home, in pajamas, Alex and I laid on the couch together in the silence. No TV, no radio.

“I love you so much, Meggie.” He whispered in my ear, grasping me tightly in his arms.

“I love you Alex. I’m so glad this is over.” I sighed, contently.

“Well, it's not over yet sweetie. We have so much to do tomorrow. We have to call our lawyers, and get everything ready to take her to court and get her locked up.” He tightened his grip on me and kissed the back of my neck. "Then, we have to call our publicist and release a statement..and answer so many questions from fans."

He let out a long sigh.

"I'll say something to the fans on twitter and maybe do a chat on the fanclub for a little bit to assure them everything's ok. Don't get stressed over it babe. It will be over soon. And we can get back to living our lives the way we've always dreamed of."

I held his arms in place with my hands and let my head lean back against him. After the day we’d had, all both of us really wanted was sleep. After all, when I glanced at the clock from the digital cable box, it was 4:03 am.

"I think we just need to get a good night's sleep. Let's go up to bed." I said, standing and holding my hand out to him.

We finally made it to bed after brushing our teeth and doing our other bedtime rituals, but I'm pretty sure we both cut them down to the basics for tonight. When Alex laid down next to me, I held my arms out and let him find comfort in them. After placing sweet kisses on his face and head, we both closed our eyes.

“Goodnight baby girl. I love you.”

“Goodnight baby boy. I love you more...than you'll ever realize."