“She’s coming home, she’s coming home, she’s coming home!” A.J repeated himself, over and, over and over again, prancing all throughout the house, just like a kid anticipating his parent’s arrival, after a long trip. Nothing could bring his sprits down, not today, nothing could. For the thousandth time this day, he checked the green glowing digits on the clock, and it always made him more and more anxious, she was coming home, soon.

Nick on the other hand, was in a much darker mood, he convinced himself that, after she left that, he didn’t a woman, he didn’t need anyone to make him feel the way Leigh-Anna did, he didn’t need to confide in anyone they way he confided to Leigh-Anna, and he didn’t need the brain bending and completely exhausting stress that their relationship put him under four years ago, he didn’t need anybody, not anymore.

The first year was hard without her, he had to get used to the fact that, she wasn’t going to magically pop up anyplace he wanted, unlike his dreams he had dreamt, she wasn’t going to call back, she wasn’t going to e-mail, she wasn’t going to do anything for him, the way she used to. Then it got easier, from time to time the liquor, had completely flushed her out of his mind and the faceless and nameless girls kept piling at his door, soon, after the realization that he and Leigh-Anna could never be again, came to him, he soon found her memory becoming more and more distant.

Then, around late 2003, he stared dating a poison, self-conflicted, air head Paris Hilton, they dated for a while, about seven or eight months, it didn’t bother Nick, all the attention he got with her, was just more credit he got at the clubs, the sex wasn’t all that bad either, but it got old, and the nights she spent three hours in the bathroom, straight, looking at herself in the mirror, just got plain idiotic. So, the night he called her, words were exchanged, and the break up was official, but Paris did mean one thing she said, she screamed over the phone, “You be sorry you broke up with me!” guess what? She meant it, she made up a ludicrous rumour, a rumour stating that he beat her black and blue, a big mess that still wasn’t even half cleaned yet. But he didn’t care, he had money, still had girls lining at the door to spend one night with him, he was still famous and he still had most of the media on his side. Fuck Paris. And fuck everybody else who disagreed with him.

And now he finds himself, here, sitting on the couch, beer firmly in his hand, listening faintly to the chatter was the proceeding all throughout the room, everyone was oozing in excitement and glee, her home coming was much anticipated, he didn’t want to be a part of it, but he was forced, maybe he wanted someone not to see what was on the inside of him? Whatever that was.

Reluctantly, he agreed to coming, he convinced himself he’d stay for only an hour, two tops, absolute maximum time he would stay, if he seen her, he seen her. If he didn’t, oh well.

“Yo Nick?! You okay man?” Howie asked him, swinging his hand in front of his face.

Snapping out of his daze, Nick swapped Howie’s hand away from his face and nodded. “I’m fine, just a little shocked she’s coming home.” He half lied, he knew she would come home, he just thought, she’d come home, so much sooner, for him.

“It’s crazy isn’t it? But it’s time she came home, she belongs here.” Brian cut in, smiling.

Everyone in the room was quiet for a bit, well, there wasn’t many people in there to begin with; A.J took off somewhere upstairs to get something, Gabriella was fixing something in the hallway, Leigh and Leigh-Anne were fixing the food, as gut hurling as it was, they were having a welcome home party for her. Fucking peachy.

Then, they heard the loud horn in the beginning of the driveway, and everyone darted toward the door, everyone but him, his heart pace quickened, for some reason, he didn’t know why, but his feet went to the ground, and he slowly stepped out into the main hallway, everybody was out in the front porch, but he didn’t go there, he stayed in the window, peering out, as everyone crowded around the large and hefty Black SUV, he didn’t see her step out, that make him sign, for a reason, he still wasn’t sure of. Rolling his eyes, giving up on the chance to see her, at least till the crowed herded away from her, he turned around and began walking toward the living room once again.

“Nick?” The familiar little voice made his heart stop, eyes widened, and made him stop completely still, as if cement filled his feet to the floor.

Automatically, he turned around, slowly, taking a deep breath, rolling his eyes before he turned around completely, when he did, and really seen what she now looked like, he was blown out of the water. All, over, again.

How long had she asked that question? Seconds ago? Minutes maybe? However long ago it was, Nick couldn’t utter a word. She looked so different, her sensual blonde and brown highlights were completely gone, nothing but a dark chocolate brown color on her once multi-tonal head. It was shorter too, no more shoulder lengthy hair, all that was left was touching her shoulders. She hadn’t grown much, maybe an inch or two. Her body didn’t change though, she was still the curvy, sexy bombshell he remembered her to be. Overall, the change made him speechless, he gave her a quick glance up and down, she still wore her heels, a pair of wooden wedged ones, a brown pair of shorts and navy T-shirt. She’s more covered this time, hm! That’s a switch!

“Nick?! Hello, are you there?” She hedged again, waving her palm in front of his face.

His thoughts finally came back to reality, his eyes sharply darted into hers. “Yeah, I’m here, it’s me. Look at you! You’ve changed so much!” In more ways than one.

“Thank you, thank you. I’m so happy to see you Nick.” She spoke softly, and moved slowly toward him, lightly putting her arms around him, half of Nick wanted to pull away, he really did, he had a cold and hard look on his face when the others left them along in the hall, but something clicked in him, all over again, both his hands pressed against her back, hugging her back, a little bit tighter than he wanted to, but much to his dismay, he body was telling him to do different than his mind. “I really have missed you Nick, those four years were long without you.”

Nick nodded, not knowing a simpler way to answer her without exploding in sheer anger, she had been gone four years, four fucking years! And he never even received a single phone call from her, not even a letter. And now she’s back, and the way she speaks, sounds like she wants to pick up where they left off. Too late for that, too much shit has happened. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t know what else to do, he kept nodding, speaking slowly and solemn. “Likewise, see you later on maybe.” He said, before disappearing into the crowd awaiting her, ready to bombard her with questions.

They afternoon passed quickly, much to Nick’s own surprise, he’d spent most of the afternoon and early evening in the backyard, soaking up the sun drinking down a beer, mostly drinking his drink and unwillingly caught in a deep conversation with Brian; about what else? Leigh-Anna. Brian was, one again, lecturing him about how much Nick still loved her and is too stubborn to come to. What a crock of shit. He didn’t need anyone to tell him how to feel. He knew what he felt.
“Nick, I don’t mean to say this to you, over and over, but sometime buddy, you’re going to realize you still love that girl inside. And I hope to god, that when that realization hits, it’s not too late. I seen the way you looked at her when she came in Nick, it’s only a matter of time, as far as I’m concerned.” Brian went on, a smug smile forming on his part, when he reached that last part.

“And as far as I’m concerned, you need a serious reality check if you think I’m going to make the same mistake twice. She chose what road to take Brian, when she went away and never even said two fucking words to me! She can rot in hell for all I care, Brian. And I mean that.” He lied to himself, it did hurt him to say those stone cold words, but what she did to him over the past years, hurt him so much more, than anyone could ever imagine.

“I hope you don’t mean that Nick, I really don’t.” Brian said, sighing. He balled his fists together into one, and rested his chin against the top of the fist. Looking intently at his younger brother, he was lying down on the long chair, taking in the sun, completely unaware that Leigh-Anna was behind him, for the entire conversation. Brian looked at the twenty year old, the liquid beginning to form at the bottom of her eyes, she shook her head fiercely, like she didn’t want to believe what Nick had said. Her head shook, and she quickly took off inside. “Be careful Nick, I have a feeling things are going to get very trying, emotional, and very hard, for you, and a number of people. Just, keep what I said in mind, it may be too late when it finally hits you.” Brian finished, Nick crinkled his nose, but he nodded understandably before Brian left, too go see to something inside.

A couple more hours passed by, and Nick still didn’t leave AJ’s. He thought Leigh-Anna was gone to bed, sleeping soundly, exhausted after a long day of everyone asking their own questions about the past four years, and much she missed home, he assumed. Shrugging all ideas, of where she could be aside, he turned his attention to the movie that was playing across the television. The whoever it was running after it’s helpless victim, in a strange way, he could relate to the girl running away from her killer, like he was running from the gut twisting truth. He still loved Leigh-Anna, but the wounds were just too deep, and to even think about what Brian said, those wounds were going to take a long, long time to heal.

“Nick, could you go upstairs and try to find a new set of batteries for the remote, the damn thing keeps dying! I’m pretty sure they’re in my office.” A.J explained, ready to throw the batteries out the window, along with the remote.

“Alright, no problem.” He answered, getting up from the sofa he casually walked into the hall way and up the stairs, slowly walking to A.J’s office at the end of the hall.

“What am I supposed to do?! I’m back now, and I still can’t help but need him!” He heard her voice coming from one of the room to the right, he neared the door and watched through the crack, she was sitting up on her bed, knees brought up to her chest, talking on cordless phone to someone over the phone. Nick’s heard jumped, hearing that familiar needing voice, brought back a lot of memories of when she needed him. Shaking his head, clouding all his memories over, he quietly neared his ear deeper into the crack, listening in. “You don’t think I know...of course he has the right to know...but I don’t want to tell him...why? Because he’ll hate me forever, and I couldn’t handle it if Nick hated me...I know he’s hostile right now, and it kills, it really, really kills me....but what if I tell him? He lashes out at me and never wants to see me again? I can’t live like that, I really can’t.”

Looks like she isn’t the only one hiding something big.

Nick shook his head, she was keeping something, and from the sounds of it, something big. Turns out Brian was right, the time ahead is going to put his patience and emotions to the ultimate test.

“Yo Nick! Did you find those batteries yet?!” A.J bellowed from down stairs, making him jump and hit the door slightly, enough to make Leigh-Anna notice something was up. Oh shit!! He quickly took off into A.J’s office, and scattered to find a pair of triple A batteries, he didn’t find any. But he did come across a small rippled sheet of white paper; it seemed to be old, and tattered. He flipped the side over, and Nick’s eyes roamed its contents, he knew this was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe this could help him find out what he heard only five minutes ago. Scribbled across the sheet, was Leigh-Anna’s e-mail address, an evil smirk crept across his face as he stuffed the paper in his pocket, and quickly exited the office, but not before he ran into her, yet again today.

“Hello? Is someone in there?” Her voice called inside the office. |

Nick rolled his eyes, scoffing lightly to himself. “It’s only me Leigh-Anna, I needed to get batteries for A.J’s remote!” He called out, coming out of the room, closing the door with his arm. He didn’t realize how close her body was to his own, there was only centimetres between them both, Nick looked down at her meltingly, he wondered if she could see the hurt in his eyes. “Hi.”

“Hi, h-how are you?” She stuttered her words, looking lost, as she looked at him with big eyes. Guilt radiated from her body’s energy, now what the hell is going on?

“Pretty good.” He lied. “How about you?”

Leigh-Anna took a deep breath in, she exhaled swiftly. “Not good. Nick, I really, really missed you, and I want to talk about something with you, would you mind meeting me on the back patio in five minutes?” She asked.

What the fuck? Now she’s pleading, but hey, I could get some more out of this! Nick looked at her intently and studied her face. Her expression looked helpless enough, and her pools of blue were threatening to flood. If she cried here tonight, he was going to shoot himself. “Alright, I’ll be there.” And that was all he said, before slithering himself around her, walking down the stairs and into the living room with the boys.

“Find any?” A.J asked, looking at him.

“Not even one. You really need to keep your office stocked Jay, seriously.” He snickered. And don’t forget, you need to keeps the things you don’t want seen, out of sight. After a few minutes of the movie, the film finally ended, Nick clapped his hand against his lap and stood up. “Well bro, if you don’t mind I’m going on your patio for a minute, then I’m going to head home.”

“Alright man, you need any company?” A.J asked, he knew better not to irritate Nick, especially not like this.

“Nah I’m alright, I’ll only be a minute.” He explained, heading out into the hall once again, and walked out into the crisp, midnight air. The breeze made him feel better than he felt all day, it made him forget some things, for the very short time it lasted. Until he came around the corner and seen Leigh-Anna, playing with her fingers on the top of the wooden deck. Wearing a dark red T-shirt with black lettering and a dark pair of jean shorts, the moonlight made her completion look darker, much, much darker. Suits her.

“Hey.” He said quietly, walking onto the top step, standing by her.

“Hey, I’m surprised you came here.” She smiled, turning to her side to face him fully. Her make-up was darker as well, brown lip-gloss, black mascara, brown eyeliner, and dark coloured eye shadow.

“Well, I didn’t really have anything else to do.” He said coldly, the intensity in his voice made Leigh-Anna quiver for a moment, she closed her eyes tightly for another, breathing in deeply.

“Yeah, but I’m really glad you came out.” She smiled again, this one wider and warmer , she tried to take a step to him, attempting to seal the space between them. But Nick took a step back, she looked at him with the widest set of puppy eyes he had ever seen. But then she sighed and raked her fingers through her much darkened hair. “There’s a lot to talk about huh?”

“A lot to talk about?! Leigh-Anna, I haven’t heard from you in four years! Four long god damn years, you left that day with me thinking we had a possible chance at the long distance thing, but nope, I never even got a freaking phone call from you! Fuck yeah we have a lot to talk about!” He exploded, he grabbed her by the arm, gripping her tanned skin tightly, dragging her behind him into his car, opening the door and shoving her inside. He stomped into the divers seat and purred the engine to life.

“Whoa! Where are you two going this time?!” A.J asked, jogging outside.

“Out for a bit. To talk, we’ll be back in a while.” Nick said, before screeching out into the open street, speeding out into the open highway. Leigh-Anna’s face tattooed a number of different emotions at once; fear, anxiety, wonder, blankness. He had no idea why the hell he was doing this, or why he was even with her, but whatever happened inside him, when she said her last sentence, something inside him, deeply planted inside him, kicked into overload, causing this sudden change in attitude toward the girl, now he wanted to find all this out, and what exactly was up her ass for the last four years.

“Nick, where are you taking me?” She asked, trying to keep her voice, still and hard, attempting respectively to keep steady.

“You’ll find out when we get there!” He snapped. “But I promise you, this is not the getaway you think it’s going to be. It’s been four years Leigh-Anna, do you realize what the fuck that’s done to me, and what the hell its cause me to do!”

“I’m sorry Nicky, I really am.” She whispered, head down and looking out the window. Nick sighed longingly and hard, but no matter how hard the memories were to think about, he began to think the same thing over and over.

And you think I’m not sorry, for what I did you, for any chance of us?

He kept speeding, there was no one on the lone, deserted highway. No one, not even a police car. He knew she’d seen this in movies before, and it always ended badly. Either they’d both die, she’d die, or something very bad would happen. Nick could hear Leigh-Anna’s nails tighten into the leather seats, as the speedometer went from one hundred, to one-twenty. She gulped deeply and Nick could feel her looking at him, just like a helpless little kitten.

“Nick, I-I think you should slow down a little bit!” Leigh-Anna’s nervous voice warned him, he could hear the scrunch of the leather, as her sharp and feline like nails dug into the cars black interior. He chuckled darkly, and applied more pressure to the gas pedal. “Nick, seriously stop it! You have who knows how much alcohol in your system stop it!! You’re scaring me!”

“Shut it, I’m fine!” He snapped at her, making her eyes go wide. Did I really just say that to her?”

He didn’t say a word after that, his eyes were fiery on the road, not caring about the scream that was defiantly present in her eyes, he took a turn, a sharp one, and the tires screeched along the road as Leigh-Anna’s body whirled to the left, her head crashed against his shoulder, the car stopped and then it went quiet. Leigh-Anna eased back into her own seat, breath quivering and very uneven, trembling to the absolute full. Nick watched her at the corner of his eye, her breathing evened out after a few tries, and she was staring at him now, her big, eye lined and darkly shadowed blue eyes were burning on him, tears stinging from the edges. “Nick...” She spoke slowly, “What the hell are you doing? And where are we?”

“You said you wanted to talk, so I took us to a place where we could do so.” He shot back coldly. Signalling to the park they parked to, enough people there for almost midnight. “Maybe now you could tell me just what hell you’ve been up to for the past four years.”

She flinched at his words, her eyes clamped shut again, and her body seemed to remain stone still, like she was waiting for something, or stalling about something. “It’s just...Nick, a lot of stuff has happened, things I can’t take back, no matter how much I try, and no matter how much I want to, I can’t change what happened.” She spoke lowly, whisper like, to keep herself from crying.

“You honestly think you’re the only one who’s done something, they’ve can’t take back. You’re not the only foul player in the game Leigh-Anna.” He hinted to her, hands gripping the leather steering wheel, her head snapped toward him, and first the first time in such a gut-twisting long time, he looked at her back, meaningfully. “I did shit I can’t take back too, shit that can’t be forgiven.” He said, his voice was quiet, emotionless, as he stared out the window into the pitch black night.

That’s when he felt it. Leigh-Anna’s warm touch was on his face again, his heart quickly quickened it’s pace, beating so hard it was a miracle she didn’t hear it. Her eyes were locked into his, the blue warmness he still remembered, was still there. But something was different, he could see a yearning and burning to do something, to tell him something? Her lips edged closer to his own, he wanted to pull back, and storm out of the car, but he stayed in his seat, he sealed the gape, covering his mouth over hers, running his hand into her hair. He should do this, things were so out of whack, it was wrong, he knew she was hiding something, something big. And he was hiding something, something big. But still, in that moment, all of it seemed to be, gone? Things, for that small and everlasting moment, felt right.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” She said, after the kiss ended.

“So have I.” He admitted, it was his turn to sigh, he put his head on the head rest, and looked at the hood of the inside, of the car. “Leigh-Anna, why are you back here? I don’t mean here, as in Orlando, but here, as in, with me. Why are you showing back into my life after four long years?!”

“I thought that, maybe I could come back, and beg you for forgiveness, for everything I did. I thought it’d be easy to tell you, because I was sure that I was over you, or so I told myself countless times before, but then I saw your face, and seen the hurt, disappointment and anger toward me and what I did, and now, I-I just can’t tell you! Because you’ll hate me forever, and Nick, I can’t have that, I still need you Nick, I love you, I never stopped and I never will.”

Was she having a flash back or something? From the look that was on her face, she looked like all the events that happened, washed over her again, letting her emotions get the better of her, she dashed out of the car, and into the walkway along the park. Nick groaned and locked his car, and walked over to where she collapsed, on one of the benches, half way through the park, her forehead was rested in her hands, breathing in tear filled deep breaths.

I swear, mood wise, I’m worse than that girl. He thought to himself, first, he wanted to kill her, now, he’s trying to comfort her? He was still angry, but now, his temper is flaring down. Why?

“Leigh-Anna, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re saying.” Nick tried to sound confident, but something told him, that this was the furthest thing from an exaggeration. “As I said, I did things too, so your blaming yourself for everything.” He softened, elbowing her lightly, trying to get her to come around. Back then, when they were a “secret fling”, whenever Leigh-Anna was upset, it didn’t take much to lighten her spirits, but now? Wow. What exactly happened over those four years? And who did the worse? She, or him?

“What did you do then? What exactly did you do that could be so much worse than this, Nick, I wish I could tell you, I really wish I could, but seeing your face right now, I don’t know, something stops me!” She cried, Nick lifted his arm and took her into his own, and for the first time in a long while, he felt the need to comfort someone. Whatever was going to happen, was about to sneak it’s way to the surface.

Nick looked around at his surroundings and sighed, the bar was busy even for the afternoon, waitresses were circling the bar, taking orders. Bartenders were tossing, mixing and pouring drinks, people were chatting. And college kids were starting to come in. Busy time. Good thing Brian and Nick both got there before the rush. And there he was, not in his normal state, at all. A few weeks ago, if he were at the bar, and there were the usual swarms of sexy girls who were there, much similar to today, he’d be trying his best to get laid. But something inside of him just feels different.

“Well Nick, she’s back and that’s all you can do. The question is, what are you going to do?” Brian asked, taking a chug of his beer, looking at the lost blonde intently.

“That’s just the thing! I don’t know, I didn’t know what to do four years ago, and look what happened! What about now Bri? She’s changed, and she’s hiding something!! And well, you already know what I did!! What if everything gets out and things are even worse than they were, worse when Leigh-Anna and I were sneaking around.” Nick snapped, his tone hushed, keeping it sharp but hushed so he wouldn’t draw attention to himself.

Brian thought for a second, and there was a pang of something plastered all over his face. And Nick caught onto it. “Well Nick, I’ll admit, this situation must be flat out hell for you, and Leigh-Anna too for that matter, but I can tell you this, I’m going to sound like a cheesy sap when I say this, but I gotta tell you. The saying goes if you love something, let it go. But if it comes back, it’s yours forever. You and Leigh-Anna had each other once, it crumbled and now, it’s starting to show once again, hell, it hasn’t even gone away from what I’ve seen from you, love doesn’t stay hidden forever.”

“Must you do that!! I’m trying to forget about the girl, I’m tried really fucking hard to forget this chick and erase her out of my life, just like she did to me...”

“Maybe she had a reason, maybe something happened to her, causing her not to keep in touch. Nick, you weren’t there, neither was I, the only person who can tell you what happened, is Leigh-Anna. And from what you’ve told me, what she has to spill, is something huge, and very hard on her, so give her time Nick, besides, you two are going to be spending a lot of time together over these next few weeks, in a much more intimate environment!” Brian cut him off, his voice was very protective of Leigh-Anna at first, making Nick wonder even more, could Brian be hiding something from him too? But at the end, when he finished his sentence, he had a smirk on his face, and his arms were crossed.

Dear Nick’s brain, I’ve had these moments before, my big baby blue eyes are about to fly across the room, and my mouth is about to fall out of place, well, time to welcome another one! “What?! What do you mean, on a intimate environment?! Brian, what did you do, what the hell did you do?!” Nick’s tone was sharp, and squeaky, something like the way anime girls would speak in those shows Baylee watches on Saturday mornings. Quite funny.

The older, more mature blonde, was fighting the major temptation to burst out in a fit of laughter, looking at Nick’s expression, simply bewildered the youngest was. “Well, you know how, the firm is flying us out to London, Sweden and Germany to for the new record. Surly you were paying attention!” Brian snickered, leading to his dramatic finish.

“Yes I was...and yes, I do remember. Why?!” Nick asked, the anticipation and animated fear quite present in his voice. “Ah shit, something’s telling me I’m not going to like this!”

“Well, we needed to bunk with people for each visit to each country. In Johnny’s words I quote ‘I’m not taking the risks of bunking you with one another, so, we are putting you in with a close female friend’.”

“Oh sweet Jesus.” Nick sighed, already positive about what was to come.

“Yes Nickolas, we each have our roommates, Leigh Anne obviously with me, Gabi with A.J, Leigh with Howie, Kristen with Kevin, and who else to be with you Nick, Leigh-Anna’s going to be your roommate for the next two weeks!” Brian said.

“Oh of course! Why does this shit always happen to me, can’t I just get down to the bottom of things before I decide what I want?! Why is she coming anyway?!” He asked, slightly banging his head on top of the tiny oak table, thinking to himself. Oh well, whatever’s going to come to the surface and what’s going to happen, is going to happen. Might as well let fate take its course, oh Jesus I’m starting to sound like Brian!

“A.J’s taking her, he wants to spend more time with her I guess, and she’s working on the medical team, as one of the nurses on crew.” Brian said casually, little did he know Nick had never heard of this before, not once.

“She’s a nurse now?!”

“Yeah, I thought she would’ve told you by now.”

“No, she didn’t!” Nick said, angered, his eyes narrowing his eyes at the boutique next store, which happened to have a dark haired beauty and her red haired twin exit the store, with the shopping bags dangling from their arms like wind chimes. Yet another thing she’s kept from me, what else has this girl, who I don’t even know anymore, been keeping from me?

Once Brian caught onto Nick’s meaningful stare at Leigh-Anna, he paid the waitress, and walked out of the bar with Nick walking beside him. Nick looked strangely at Brian, once he began to walk out into the middle of the road, did he honestly expect him to go over there with, after what he just found out about Leigh-Anna, and did he honestly expect Nick to go over there with her? The twenty four year old groaned loudly to himself, and walking into the street, crossing it, and meeting up with the three some. The two sisters were side by side, Leigh-Anna wearing an fuchsia tank top and black skirt, Cici wearing dark blue jeans and a strapless top. Leigh-Anna was smiling warmly at Brian, avoiding all possible eye contact with Nick what so ever. Nick rolled his eyes and huffed, and felt Cici’s heel dig into his sneaker. He shot her an lion like warning look, causing her to, sigh annoyed, cross her arms and tune her ears back to Brian and Leigh-Anna’s conversation.

“So, when are we leaving?” Leigh-Anna asked excitingly, the glee surely present in her already chipper voice.

“In another week and a half, next Wednesday I believe.” Brian replied, smiling at the twenty year old, his hand on her shoulder, when Nick’s eyes feasted upon this sight, his eyes narrowed at Brian, a very threatening glare shooting toward his best friend.

“Perfect! So, bright and early to be on the plane, I’m presuming?” Leigh-Anna question, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, we take off the ground at seven a.m I think, I’ll call you if anything changes. Cici, are you coming along with us, because if you are, I could call and get you a room in advanced.” Brian offered.

No! Damn it Brian, you always do put your mouth in where it doesn’t belong!! Say no! Say No! No! She dyed her hair fire red for a reason you know!! Nick begged in his mind, looking at the dyed brunette and redhead. Chastity had a smirk on her face, very amused, watching Nick covering up his squirming in place. But after a killing minute or so, she laughed and shook her head. “Sadly, and as much as I’d like to. I took too much time off work and need to catch up, but who knows? I may fly over for a day or so.” She said, narrowing her fierce eyes Nick’s way. “Unannounced.”

“Fine, but we hope to see you there, it would be nice to see you at least once.” Brian said kindly, smiling. The two twins looked at one another and nodded. Brian chuckled conversationally and quickly looked down at his watch. “Wow! Four already! Well Nick, we’ve gotta get going, we need to head on over to the stores before they close, A.J wants us to get a few things before the big BBQ tonight. You girls coming along?” He asked Leigh-Anna and Cici.

You...idiot.Nick thought to himself, rolling his eyes.

Both looked at each other and nodded excitingly. “Yes, we’d love to go! Thanks Brian!” Leigh-Anna said, giving Brian a quick peck on the cheek. Nick could feel his temper flaring, only turning it up more when Leigh-Anna gave him a keen, cat like look. “See you later Nick.”


The sour thoughts entered Nick's head. Yeah, see you later, later is when I’ll take a gun and shoot myself is I have to put up with you and Chastity for tonight. Life sucks, especially when Chastity’s mouth can’t keep a god damn secret if it killed her.

The jet landed, they knew when the wheels of the plane touched down into the airport, the sound of screeching wheels coming to a stop, filled the room they were sitting in. Once they were all allowed to stand, they unbuckled their belts and some, swiftly stood, some got up rose with hesitance. They started walking toward the staircase, Howie was behind Nick, and his little roommate, right in front of him. Nick sighed and waited for everyone to exit out of the doorway. Slowly, one by one, they did so. A.J, Kevin and Brian were all off the plane when it was their turn to exit. Leigh-Anna stepping off first, in those gigantic five inch heels she always wore, Nick had a feeling nothing good would happen to her if she wore them on a plane.

And he was right.

Leigh-Anna’s heels caught up in one another, and she stumbled, it was like in one of those movies, where everything seemed to be in slow motion when it happened, all heads turned toward her, snapping even, A.J was getting ready to dart up the stairs to try and break the fall, along with Brian and Kevin right behind them. But they wouldn’t get there in time, she was almost down, not yet, Nick swiftly clutched her arm tightly and pulled her, his muscles feeling ten times stronger than they’ve ever felt before. He jolted her toward him and pulled her to her feet, and into his arms. Pressing her tight against his chest. Her quivering breath evening out as time progressed slowly. She was clearly shaken, her arms were shaking like a high voltage wire cut lose, as they snaked around his neck. Nick scooped her up into his arms and carried her down the staircase, while they all watched in utter disbelief. Nick had a lot of time to think about it, the BBQ, the whole week break, when they didn’t even lay eyes on one another and the plane ride here, which was what he needed. He wanted to know, everything, why she left, everything she did, and what she wants to do now. He wanted to get closer to her again, he wanted her all to himself, again. And it was very possible, when they’re finally together again, he could get the god damn secret out of her. He know, that they’d get through it together, right?

Nick carried her into the van, and placed her trembling body into the leather seat, he sealed her into the seat by buckling her seat belt, giving her a reassuring nod when they’re eyes locked into each others, Leigh-Anna eyes were scared, clearly, when she almost fell, it scared her, he couldn’t blame her. Nick pecked her on the forehead, his warm lips remaining on her smooth, silky skin for a long moment. Hesitant, he pulled back and nodded once again, before shutting the door with a little thump. Jogging lightly into the van, he sighed into his seat, and told one of the many divers there, the directions to the hotel, in the little Swedish he knew, and they were off. Leaving the rest of his band mates, with their others, to fend for themselves in the other vans.

“Thank you Nick, if you weren’t there to catch me, I probably would’ve been in pretty rough shape right name.” She roughly chuckled, smiling a gentle and small grin, looking over his way.

“No problem, if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t be a very good person if I didn’t catch you now would I?” He said, making his way toward her, sitting right next to her, placing his hand and her knee. He looked up at her, her smile was the one he wanted back, warm and care free, the one that made his world feel right at home every time he seen it. She was speechless her assumed, she had to be in shock, he would be too, but he needed this. He needed her back. To heal the open wounds, that only Leigh-Anna knew how to heel. “Just do me one favour?”

“Sure!”

“Take off those Jesus heels before you’re killed!!!” He chuckled looking at the death shoes, she wore black strappy ones today, stilettos, about four and a half inch heel on them. Fucking unbelievable.

She chuckled and smiled directly in his direction. “I think I can do that for a little while.”

Once the van pulled to a stop in front of the hotel, Nick was on his feet automatically. Getting out of the van and coming around the back, opening the door for Leigh-Anna to get out, she unbuckled her belt and took a step outside the van, it was warm out, but the sky was a sickly shade of gray he noticed. She stumbled and almost fell down again, again, Nick sprang and caught her before she was on her feet. Only this time, the way he caught her, was like a dance move, her back was rested on his arm, his other arm wrapped around her lower waist. He couldn’t help it, his eyes roamed her body, it was too easy, she was wearing a pair of dark blue jean shorts on and a skin tight purple tank on. Their faces were inches apart, how he wanted to just lean in a little more and kiss those perfect lips.

Until her hand went to the back of his head, forcing his lips to press against hers. It was a shock to him, send in invigorating shock waving down through his body. It would be stupid to pull back, which is why Nick Carter is genius because he never pulls back! He kissed her back hard, passionately, swinging her to her feet, but his arms will still locked around her. Pulling her tighter to his chest his fingers played with her hair.

Until he heard the wear roar of multiple van engines start to pull into the driveway. He pulled back and groaned, grabbing Leigh-Anna by the hand, dragging her into the hotel elevator very quickly. Her back rested on the wall, while she watched the doors slowly close. Her head turned to her former lover, she smiled and walked toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest. Nick gently stroked her back, rubbing his hand up and down the small of her back. He checked his watch, seven-twenty it read. She was getting tired he judged, her big blue eyes began to close shut against his chest, her head felt heavy and her breathing lightened from the heavy, exasperated breathing it once was a short while back. “Tired?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” She said once the doors opened and they walked into the middle of their hotel floor. Once they swiped the card, they went into the hotel, it was the typical suite, nice big bathroom, nice lounge room, mini kitchen, but, only one bed? Both of their eyes seemed to be plowed to the bed, how stupid were people these days? They called saying that they were in the room together. Wait a minute?! I bet they thought the firm meant as a couple, god damn shit heads!

“I could get on the couch if you’d like.” Nick said, breaking the thoughtful silence, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hell no! There’s no way you’re getting on that couch when this bed can fit seven people! We’re sharing buddy, whether you like it or not!” She said, trying to be bold.

Nick smiled, maybe she was coming around? Perfect. Just like he wanted. “It’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened, I’m sure you don’t kick, unless I want you too.” Nick winked.

The brunette laughed and rolled her eyes playfully. Nick sensed that she liked his perverted humour, of course, why wouldn’t she? He wasn’t totally like it in reality, but who said he couldn’t joke? He leaned in and kissed her cheek, Leigh-Anna eyes closed to enjoy the moment while the sweet smile sprang across her face. “I’m going to take a shower, can we talk after?”

She nodded. “Talking sounds like a very good thing to do right now! I’ll see you when you get out. Enjoy your shower.”

The last thing he saw before closing the bathroom door was her smiling face, he turned around and rested against the door. Sighing deeply, he couldn’t believe how quickly he fell back into her again. And how quickly she was falling into him, literally. It amazed him, but he didn’t want it to go away.


He couldn’t wait to finish his shower, for he hoped that everything that needed to be said, would escape their mouths.

The only thing that broke the silence, was the ticking of the squared analog clock.

The tension was so intense, they were scared to break the bone crushing silence. Afraid that one person will say the wrong thing, do the wrong action. Maybe the worst thing was saying nothing in first place? Nick stayed in place, didn’t bother to move a muscle, he sat there, back lodged against the curved sleigh of the beds frame. Leigh-Anna was sat comfortably next to him, knees brought up to her stomach, her head was rested against his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her with care. Or maybe, could it ever so possibly be? That no one dared to move because, the truth would possibly screech the moments they were having lately, to an abrupt halt?

It started to get tiring, not talking, for once saying nothing, at the risk of the truth staying hidden, and that wasn’t something he wanted. If he and Leigh-Anna had a possible chance again, he had to action, and he had to know. “Wow. This isn’t the easiest thing in the world now is it? So, why don’t we start with the little thing, like, why did you decide to become a nurse?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder and her face was scrunched in confusion. “I didn’t get a degree in nursing. I got my degree in Education. Who told you that?”

“Brian. I recall him saying that you were a nurse on the medical team a couple weeks ago.” He said, confused.

“Oh okay! I think I know why he did that though, he must’ve gotten mixed up with me and Carla, the trainee, she looks a lot like me, thanks to my brown hair.” She said, holding up and piece of her dyed locks. Sighing looking at her much darkened hair. “I don’t know why I did it, I want my blonde back.” Random Leigh-Anna starts to take over. Oh great.

Nick chuckled and tucked a piece behind her head. “Then go back to the way you had it. So what do you teach, or what will you teach when you get a job?”

“Science, History and English.”

Nick’s eyes widened, she learnt that much in that short amount of time. Wow, something else he missed, her progress with her education. And that’s something that he blamed her for, but he shook his head quickly, if he wanted this to turn out for the better, he was going to have to forget about the past. Easier said than done. “Holy shit. Leigh-Anna that’s a lot of things to teach kids, what possessed you to go into that?”

“Simple. I like kids, but not babies and children, but I like teenagers because they’re easier to get along with if you know how they think. And I just love the concept of teaching other kids what you’ve learned throughout you’re life, and making them better at school.” Leigh-Anna explained her theory to him about educating others, leaving her with a smile in her face. “I was gone for four years, and I stayed in school during the summer months when most of the students took time off, but it got me home quicker and I got my masters degree all the much quicker too!”

“That’s great! I always knew you’d amount to something big and important.” He smiled, she smiled warmly and cuddled into his shoulder, the wide smile that was smacked onto her lips refusing to leave. The next thing Nick felt, was Leigh-Anna roll on top on his chest and looked into deep into his eyes, he narrowed in on her and kissed her drastically, his lips swirling around her mouth. He didn’t expect how passion filled the kiss would get, and how emotional it would get. By the end, when Leigh-Anna pulled away, she had tears in her eyes, the glistening wet water shimmering down her face and a light thickening stream shimming on her eye lids. He cupped her face with his hand, using his thumbs to push away the tears. “Baby girl don’t cry.”

“Nick, I can’t help it! When you said that it made me feel home, being in your arms and kissing you, makes me feel at home. But I know once I get the nerve to tell you what I’ve done, you’re not going to want anything to do with me.” Leigh-Anna sobbed, looking at him with tortured eyes. Damn, exactly how hard was it to keep that secret of hers?

“Leigh-Anna I highly doubt that, whatever it is, it can’t really be that bad. I mean, it’s not like you killed someone or anything.” He said, she trembled at the words, got off the bed and stared blankly out the window. Silence washed over him and he looked at her back mysteriously. Had she killed someone, and kept it a secret? But if it was for a good reason then why was she so emotional about it? And what in god’s name would it have to do with him?

He slowly got off the bed and paced himself, he knew the truth would come out tonight, no matter how much it would hurt him. He placed his hands on her should, and whirled her around gently, looking at her deep in the eyes, keeping his hands lightly gripped on the woman’s shoulder. “Leigh-Anna, just tell me, what happened and who was killed?”

Every time the word ‘kill’ came out of his mouth, she’d cry harder and harder, tears we’re glistening down her face, much like a narrow river. He couldn’t help but shake her a bit to try and get the truth out, and raise his voice. “Leigh-Anna! Easy now baby girl, just tell me, who was killed?”

Leigh-Anna broke free of his grip, good thing she was fully clothes he guessed, if it wasn’t for her blue tank top and black shorts, she’d be running out with no clothes on. But what was screamed out of her mouth before she ran out there crying, left him in a state of utter shock.

“Your baby Nick!”

Leigh-Anna’ s head spun around so fast it made her feel sick to her stomach, just like, when someone rides that really fast roller coaster too many times they feel like falling over and dying. Well, she felt worse. Did it really just slip out that easily? Well of course it did! If it didn’t, her back wouldn’t be rested against the wall outside their hotel room, with one hell of a black river pouring down her cheeks. The moment was one of those that just dragged on painfully. Until she heard Nick stomp his way toward the door, ever likely to get the whole truth out of her, but she acted on impulse, instead of being the tough girl she wanted to be and face Nick, instead, she just raced into the elevator and pounded her finger against the button that would take her to the main floor.

Leigh-Anna jumped the whole eight miles when she saw the door fling open, the only thing she saw before the doors closed, was Nick’s hurt face, coated the color of anger. Leigh-Anna cringed and felt like screaming till her lungs jumped out of her throat. She’d hurt him so badly, she could see it when she briefly caught his eyes, they were red too. Had he been crying? He was in there a good while before he came out again. Nothing could come out good now, not after this, Nick would find her in a matter of time, a part of her wanted to run away and never look back, a part that wanted to dominate her whole being, but her will wasn’t that weak. She still hoped that Nick would see why she did it once she explained to him, and it’s a pretty safe bet, that tempers will flare beyond belief, a river is going to be cried and everything else will get on the table.

The doors slowly slid open, and she took off once she could squeeze through, something told her to run, Nick was angry, she knew that for sure, and when Nick got angry, who knows what he’d do. She blotted out of the hotel, people looked strangely at the young crying woman running out of the hotel, but she didn’t care. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, when she finally reached A.J’s car, she opened the door, slid the keys into the ignition and the engine roared to life, with that, she sped off into the night. She didn’t have the sweetest clue where she was going to go, but thankfully, there was a GPS in the car. And luckily, A.J had given her a key to his black Mercedes to use on her own terms, and right now, she couldn’t be more thankful of that fact. She sped down the freeway, her breathing hadn’t even came close to evening out, and she couldn’t stop quickly glancing at the GPS whenever she had the chance, the screen read that there was a park about twenty minutes to her next left, she sharply took the turn and made sure nothing was behind her, no sign of Nick’s car yet. She knew it’d just be a matter of time until he would find her, but the more time he had to himself, maybe the better it would be for the situation.

It’s okay Leigh-Anna, Nick isn’t behind you yet, and hopefully he won’t find you tonight, maybe he stayed in the hotel, went to the bar to try and calm down? Yeah! Let’s go with that, we’ll find somewhere to stay for the night, let him cool down, go back in the morning and try and talk things through. She kept telling herself over and over, she groaned and stopped the car, turning off the engine and walking into the neat and clean barely-lit park. She swiped her hands over her arms fiercely, the night was starting to get more and more chilly. Her tears acting up again, the emotions that she thought she could bury were all coming up from the surface again, Nick would never forgive her, who was she trying to kid? After this, nothing would be the same between them again, not ever. A baby was killed, and in that same moment, Nick’s trust would forever be lost with her. And that had the ability to make her cry even more, no one could love him more than she could, that she realized that summer she left, she would never stop loving Nick, not ever. Nick would never give her a second look again when this was all over. All hope is lost...

Her sobs got more heated when she sat down, she passed a wooden bench half way through the park and almost passed out into it, all the tears she’d buried over the past four years have finally turned on overload and were starting to erupt just like an ultra violet volcano. She curled her legs on the bench and tried to get comfortable. Her palm rested on her chin as she tried to even out her hectic and petrified breathing.

“Leigh-Anna?” A soft male voice called out to her, making her jump from one end of the bench to the other. She whirled around and here comes Brian! Coming down the trail with his dog, Tiny, on the leash. The tiny terrier leaped up into the bench alongside Leigh-Anna and nuzzled into her leg, when Brian jogged over to her side. The southerner got down and one knee and placed a caring and concerned hand on her leg, looking into her eyes, just yearning to help her. “He knows what happened, doesn’t he?”

Leigh-Anna couldn’t even speak her tears were so violent, all she could do was nod, she felt Brian’s arms wrap around her, this was another thing that was going to piss Nick off to no end, she and Brian kept tabs when she left to go to University in Newfoundland, and they grew very, very close. And very fond of each other, Brian was one of her best friends, someone she could tell anything too and not worry about him telling the one person that needed to know the most. And she was thankful for that. It seemed selfish at the time, very, very selfish but the truth couldn’t come out at that time, she needed to tell someone about it, and that’s when she found Brian.

“He’s never going to forgive me for this Brian, I’m a murderer for this!! I deserve to be out of his life for good!” She sobbed, gripping onto his shoulders, crying into the length of his neck. Leigh-Anna felt Brian pick her up and start to walk again, he was carrying her out of the park?! Leigh-Anna felt a hint of warmth when he did this, Brian was one of those rare people in the world who were good as gold, you couldn’t find a better person than Brian. And that’s why Leigh-Anna loved him the way she did, not like the way she loved Nick, but like a close brother and sister. Her arms wrapped around his neck and relaxed in his arms.

“Yes he will Leigh-Anna, Nick’s the type of person to get angry at first, then he’ll calm down in a couple days, then we can talk to him about it, but for the time being, you my sweetie, are staying in my room until Mr. Carter is ready to talk.” Brian announced as he set her down on the ground gently, when they reached the parking lot, but still, one hand was still slipped firmly around her waist, keeping her held upright so she wouldn’t fall backwards, the little terrier jumped into the black Mercedes and Brian carefully put Leigh-Anna in the passenger side of A.J’s car, and jogged over to the drivers end, opening the door and purring the engine, Leigh-Anna was just too drained to even ask Brian what was he doing. She just wanted to get back to the hotel and talk to Nick.