Have you ever had obstacles? I have and thanks to my beliefs and my well grounded family I have been able to surpass them all. Till this last hurdle I got…her name Josie Monticello. She by far has been my hardest hurdle, why? I am a very happy married man and father of one adorable little boy. I have always been happy with my decisions and my choices. Marrying Leighanne is something that I will never regret, she is my soul mate. Baylee is my living image and my pride and joy. Yet how can I explain Josie to you?

I know all of you have this fantasy you just know you can’t realize yet it’s in your mind. I guess Josie was that. Josie was the fantasy girl that in my teenage years I only dreamed of ever meeting. I didn’t go looking for her; it’s really just a coincidence that I met her… But now my mind is in totally confusion. See I love Leighanne and my heart will always belong to her. Yet here I am now battling a war that I just don’t know where it will take me.

I guess I should start from the beginning though. In case you still don’t know who I am, I am Brian Littrell, member of the Backstreet Boys. I guess you can say I had a choice to live the rockstar lifestyle, but because I just couldn’t see me doing so I did what was natural to me. I found a suitable wife with the same aspirations to mine…Leighanne. I met her in a video shoot we doing for our song As Long As You Love Me. It was an instant connection, her beauty only made it better. At first my other band mates weren’t so into me dating her but, Leighanne won them all. Finally I realized was madly in love with her and did the natural thing I asked he to marry me.

At that point some of my band mates were having troubles of their own so soon after my marriage we took a well deserved break of what maybe two or three years. I did my own solo album and started my family. Those were the best years so far in my life aside from Backstreet of course.

Finally in 2005, Backstreet was back with our album Never Gone. I couldn’t be happier, I was successful with my solo work and now I was back with my brothers doing it again performing. Baylee was growing and making me more proud by the minute. I was happy with Leighanne I could not have asked for a more wonderful companion. We had even talked about finally giving Baylee a sister or brother. It was just talk though nothing conclusive.

That tour will be one of my favorites; we all had grown up and really knew the mechanics in this industry. Yet still we loved what we did and excited with how everything had turned out we decided to do it and go back into the studio to work on the next album. That’s when I was hit with Kevin’s decision to leave; it hit me the hardest because he was not only my band mate but my cousin. I understood his decision though and the rest of the guys did too.

Now here is where my new crisis begins. Our album Unbreakable is released and we are introduced to tour crew. Yep, you guessed in it was the one and only Jose Monticello. Like I mentioned before I didn’t expect this to happen to me, I was happy with my life. I really didn’t see anything interesting when I first met her; she wasn’t someone I would even think to look at twice. She wasn’t my type a total opposite to what I would consider attractive in a woman. I honestly thought that AJ would consider her hot, she was definitely his type. I met her oblivious to what she would do to me in the upcoming months. I can remember clearly like it was yesterday when we got introduced.

“This is Josie, she will be the one in charge of wardrobe and makeup,” Rick our tour manager said.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Brian…” like always the first one to jump in and make a newbie feel comfortable. If I would have known then what I know now I probably wouldn’t have been so friendly that only made it harder….

“AHH,” screamed Josie as the confetti and what not jumped out of her makeup box on her face. She turned to see a laughing Nick and Brian. Then there was the flash, Brian had snapped a picture of her with the horrible look of terror.

“Welcome to the Backstreet crew,” Nick told her a she entered the dressing room area.

“Oh, my god you guys scared the crap out of me, do you really have to do this to the new people?” Josie asked as the other two Backstreet boys entered the room.

“Hell yeah especially from these two,” AJ said as he walked in and sat on one of the tall chairs. He gave her his best smile and then spoke again, “I’ll go first.”

She sighed and looked at the two blondes, “I am not one to mess with, I will get my revenge,” with that she walked to AJ and began to apply on his makeup. “By the way nice body art,” she smiled to him.

“I can say the same from here and the piercings too.” AJ answered as he dared to touch her Monroe piercing.

“Thanks I still have a few more tattoos in mind,” she told him as she finished him. “Ok who’s next?”

“I will,” Brian said as he took AJ’s place. “We really didn’t mean any harm with the joke; it’s only for pure fun. Right Nicky?”

Josie couldn’t help but smile at him; he had the most beautiful blue eyes. So enchanting and yet they seem to be so honest. “I know but I can also play,” she told him as she winked at him.

“Well it looks like you have found you match Fellas,” Howie said as he began to laugh at Nicks expression.

“Dadddddyyyyyy,” Baylee screamed as he came into the room followed by an exhausted Leighanne.

“Wait little man daddy is getting ready for the show,” interfered AJ as he picked Baylee from the floor.

“Thanks Alex he just seems to get faster by the minute,” Leighanne told AJ as he took Baylee from his arms. “Oh, hi I’m Leighanne,” she waved to the busy woman that was applying makeup on her husband.

“Oh Josie this is my wife Leighanne,” Brian said as he pointed to his wife.

“Well by the big smile you have on right now I can see they must light up your life,” Josie commented as she took a few minutes to shake Leighanne’s hand. “Hey there buddy and what is your name?” she asked the little boy that seemed to stare at her intently.

“You look like uncle AJ...” Baylee finally said as he pointed to her tattooed hands.

Everyone laughed at his comment, “Well she is not Baylee she is much prettier than me,” AJ said as he rubbed his curls.

“That is true,” he said giggle realizing that everyone thought he was funny.

“Hey that’s not nice,” Brian said as he finally was let go only to have his chair replaced by Howie. “Your uncle AJ is handsome too,” he finished as he took Baylee away from his wife, but not before giving a kiss.

“Baylee finally decided he does want to introduce you guys tonight,” Leighanne finished.

“Yay, Baylee,” Nick said as he walked up to him putting his hand up for a high five.

After that she just continued to do her, watching from the corner of her eye how cute Brian looked with his family. She had always wanted that, but never had found the man for the role. She had had a few share of relationships or more like attempt relationships. No one ever saw beyond her looks, she was never considered appropriate material to take home to mom. But that was only the outside; she was just as nice and loving as any woman that didn’t have tattoos. “Well you are all set,” she finally said as Nick stood up from the chair.

“What about me?” asked Baylee as he squirmed his way out of Brian’s arms. “I am going to be on stage too, I should look good just like daddy.”

“No Baylee you’re too young,” Brian said as he went to get him.

“No its fine, I can apply some makeup on him,” Josie said as she helped Baylee up the chair. She winked at his parents to let them know she really wouldn’t. “A performer should always look good,” she told the little that definitely did have his daddy’s features. She pretended to apply him make and actually did brush his hair. “There you go little man, your ready to introduce the boys,” she told him giving a high five.

Baylee had the biggest grin on his face as he walked to his parents, “Well did you say thank you?” asked Leighanne as she looked at him. “Go give a thank you kiss.”

Josie smiled as she kneeled down so Baylee could give her a kiss on the cheek, “Awe your welcome Baylee and just so you know you were my favorite today you behaved so much better than them,” she pointed to the guys.

“Thank you,” he said shyly as he walked back to his parents.

“Any time kid,” Josie said just before the guys were called into position the show was about to begin.

Josie watched from behind the stage the performance, they all had great voices. Yet she had to admit Brian took them all, he had a voice of an angel. She began to move to the beat of “Treat Me Right” oblivious to someone watching her.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the show,” Leighanne said as she startled Josie.

“Oh my god,” Josie said as she turned shades of red. “I just never have been to a Backstreet Boys concert. They are not that bad,” she said as she looked down to the floor.

“Really? Wow, I’ve been to so many…yet I just can’t seem to get tired of them. “Anyways I want to thank you for what you did for Baylee…he now has this crush on you.”

“Oh it’s nothing I have nieces and nephews I know how it goes,” Josie smiled to her as she finally stared at her. She was gorgeous and her eyes were just as gorgeous as her husbands. Her smile and body, man she didn’t seem to have been pregnant ever. “I’m glad to have an admirer then.”

Leighanne giggled at her comment, “Awe, I bet your family misses you? What they tell you about your new job and its requirements of traveling for long periods?”

“My family and I aren’t in good terms at the moment. I just seem to be the black sheep of the family. But I still love them and manage to still have fun with my nieces and nephews I happen to be there favorite aunt,” she shrugged with a weak smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, but then what about your boyfriend he’s ok with it?” Leighanne asked sympathetically.

“I don’t have one to fight me about my decisions. But, its ok I don’t mind I have more fun when I am single,” she grinned at her own answer. “I am nice really, it’s sometimes I can get influenced to be a tad bit naughty.”

“Well we are going to have to show how to have fun and not get into trouble. While I am on tour your more than welcome to hang out with me and Baylee. Brian usually is busy but, we loved to get to know you.” Leighanne told Josie as she gave her a friendly hug.

“Mommy?” Baylee tugged on his mother’s shirt.

“Oh, hey there you are I thought you were with your aunt Leigh?” Leighanne asked as she looked at her son.

“Well he was till he decided he wanted to watch his daddy and uncles perform.” Leigh said as she messed with Baylee’s hair.

“No aunt Leigh, your going to mess up my hair!” Baylee said as he put his hand over his head.

Leighanne couldn’t help but laugh, “Now Baylee behave,” she finally said.

“It’s ok Baylee you still look gorgeous, if you want I can fix your hair again.” Josie said to the little boy.

“Ok,” he said as he took Josie’s hand in his little one. “Come on I know the way to your stuff,” Baylee said as he began to pull her.

“Do you mind?” Josie asked Leighanne as she began to follow Baylee.

“No I guess not, but first…Leigh this is Josie. Josie this is Leigh, Howie’s wife.” Leighanne said giggling at Baylee’s persistence to get Josie to move.

“Nice to meet you, I’ll be right back with Baylee all fixed up again.” Josie said as she finally obliged to Baylee's pulling.

“She’s makeup and wardrobe,” Leighanne told Leigh as she saw her questioningly face.

“Oh, gotcha,” Leigh said as she watched the young woman leave with little Baylee in the lead.

“What? Whatever Richard…Just leave me the fuck alone.” Josie screamed into her phone, slamming it shut. “Why can’t they blame someone else I wasn’t even there!” she said to no one just to herself.

“Oh man someone seems to be a little mad.” Brian said as he looked at her with a little concern it seem like she was now crying.

“I’m sorry,” Josie said as she wiped her eyes. “I didn’t know someone was here yet.”

“Are you ok?” he asked as he handed her a paper towel. She looked like she was in pain emotional pain. She looked confused and lost for moment; he couldn’t leave her like that.

“Yeah,” she said trying to hold her tears in. finally she couldn’t and again began to cry.

“Uhm, well it seems to me that your not,” Brian said as he got closer to her. “Want to talk? I am good listener and I have been told once or twice that I can give good advice.”

Josie looked up from staring to the ground; his soft expression told her he could trust him. “I guess but I need a smoke, do you mind. I am going outside of course.”

“Yeah ok I can go with you…” he said as he followed her to the exit. He watched her nervously try to light the lighter yet her shaking hands wouldn’t allow her to. “Here let me try…” he quickly lighted it.

“Thanks,” she told him as she lit her cigarette. “I haven’t had one of these in a while but, today I just need it.” She told him as she exhaled the smoke. “I’m sorry for this I just…how can I say this? I’m not having a good day. My brother just called me to ruin my day. I am so mad right now I can kill him! Not that would seriously,” she told him as she saw the look on Brian’s face.

“It’s cool I know how siblings can be, not that I would ever think of killing any of mine…we really only fought for stupid things like toys.” Brian told Josie as she continued to smoke. “But it will fine right? Whatever you two were talking about?”

“Yeah my mother will be fine, she only gets sick when she wants to screw with me,” Josie said as she flicked the cigarette butt into the pavement stepping on it to make sure it was off.

He watched hypnotized to the way she had thrown her cigarette butt, he had seen AJ do that a thousands times but somehow the way Josie did it made it attractive. “Wow so I guess that means your mom and you don’t get along huh?”

“No we get along when we don’t see each other I mean, I love her though. But I love my dad the most because he is my stepdad so technically he isn’t family to me. He is more like the peace maker in the family. I don’t see him much though because that means I would have to see my mother.” Josie said as she turned to face the man that stood beside her. “Thanks for caring about my state of mind, I appreciate it.”

“Oh hey no problem, any time you need to talk just look for me or Leighanne. We love to listen and give bear hugs when someone is in need.” He smiled at Josie who was now calmer and her eyes were clearing.

“Yeah Leighanne is a lucky woman. You all are wonderful even my new admirer Baylee…” she giggled as she remembered the conversation with Leighanne the night before.

“Oh I see Leighanne already told you,” he said his face lighting up with the mention of his son.

“Yeah, well we should go back in I still have to finish what I was doing.” Josie said as she opened the door they had come out of, she knew it was best for her to go back in. if not she was afraid of what she might do; Brian was definitely doing something to her.

Once inside Brian turned to her and smiled, “Well I had come to find you for a reason, Leighanne and Baylee would love to have you join us for lunch later today. Oh and me too of course,” he said after he saw Josie’s look.

“Thanks I’d love too…” she said smiling at him and without caring wrapped her arms around his neck.

He was caught off guard as he felt her arms around his neck. “Its no problem,” he said as he returned the hug quickly pulling away. What was that? What had he felt? “Well I must go; I have to go find…Nick. See you later.”

“Ok…later,” she told Brian as she watched him disappear. “Not good,” she whispered to herself as she went back to her work.

“Bye little man, see you in back in Canada.” Josie told the little boy that wasn’t to happy to be leaving Europe. She knew how attached he was to Brian.

“Yeah Baylee you will see Josie and Daddy back in Canada, two months go by fast.” Leighanne to her son as she hugged Josie, she had become quite close to her. So close that she had even shared some of her issues with Brian. They were a few but; still he marriage wasn’t perfect either. Little things they were but still she now had someone to confide in that would go and tell one of the other guys. Besides Baylee just seemed to be more infatuated with Josie by the day, it was so cute to see Baylee take such a liking with someone so new.

“I’m going to miss you,” Josie told her new friend. Because even if she was a tad bit jealous of Leighanne because she had a perfect life, she was a great person.

“No, I am going to miss her the most,” Brian intervened as he joined them. “Ready?” he asked his wife as he helped her with Baylee’s bag.

“Yeah, let’s go. Josie I will see you in Canada…” Leighanne signaled Brian she was ready and together they walked to the cab the waited for them outside of the hotel.

Josie just watched as Leighanne and Brian talked to each other. He seemed to really not want her to go, but she had too… Then there it was the most sensual kiss between them. She couldn’t help wonder how it would feel to kiss Brian’s lips. She shook her head and realized she needed to get away from there. She began to walk to the elevators to get back to her room when she heard her name being called. “Yeah?” she turned to see AJ walking toward her.

“Hey, so now that your little admirer is gone I thought I would invite you out to do some sight seeing. I am going with Howie and Leigh, what you say?” he asked.

She eyed AJ and she couldn’t say he was hot but she knew his type… “It’s not a date right?” Josie finally asked.

“Not if you don’t want it to be, I just want to get to know you. Look don’t believe everything you hear about me… I just thought you’d like to join us but if you don’t want…” he stopped talking when he saw that she wasn’t even really paying attention to him anymore. He followed her stare and saw who she was staring at…Brian. “What?” he asked he looked at Brian too.

She finally realized that AJ had noticed her staring at Brian come back in to the hotel. “Nothing…he just looks so sad.”

“Nah, he’ll be fine he is used to this…Leighanne always travels back and forth.” He looked at Josie and suddenly he realized what was happening. He tried to not think it, but it was obvious.

“I’ll take a rain check on the sight seeing today I want to be alone in my room.” Josie told AJ as she saw the weird look he had given her. Had she been a little to obvious with the sudden attraction she had for Brian. It was just a little crush right? She knew better right?

“Uh, ok yeah well maybe in the next city then. I’ll go see if Nick wants to go.” AJ told Josie as he made a mental note to talk to Brian later.

“Ok well see you later,” Josie said as she pretended to get into the elevator. She watched as AJ vanished into the other elevator. She walked back out just in time to see Brian walking to the elevators. “Oh, Brian you can share this one with me,” she told him as she pushed the open button inside the elevators to give him time to go in.

“Thanks,” Brian told her as he gave her a smile.

“You’re going to miss them aren’t you?” Josie asked him as she stared into his blue eyes.

“Yeah I am, there the reason I live.” He told her as he sighed remembering his goodbye just a few minutes ago. “I wanted to go with to the airport but, that meant more security so Leighanne just told me not to.”

“So what are you going to do now that your family is not here?” Josie pried a she continued to stare at him, just admiring his features.

“I was going to go see if Nick wanted to do something…I need to catch up with him now that I have a chance.” He told her as he finally dared to stare into her eyes, they were dark pools. He finally realized that her eyes weren’t brown at all but black. Dark and hypnotizing because to be honest he had never really met anyone with black eyes, dark brown yes but not black… “You?”

“Well I just heard from AJ that Nick was going sight seeing with him, Howie and Leigh. Me? I was just going to watch a movie maybe go out get something to eat.” She smiled at him.

“Oh, well then I guess there goes my plans. I will then probably catch on some reading and maybe call my mom.” He made a goofy face to lighten the tenseness he felt all of a sudden.

“Well you can go with me to lunch then we can go our separate ways what you say?” she asked him as she laughed at his face.

“Uhm,” Brian didn’t know what to say, she was lonely and this was her first time out on her own. “Ok how about we go to the restaurant here in the hotel? I heard they have good food.”

“Ok, just let me get dressed and I’ll meet down there?” she asked him with a big smile on her face. She actually felt her heart flutter at his response.

“Ok,” he told her just as the doors to the elevator opened. He was relieved to finally get out, for the first time he felt strange in an elevator. “I’ll see you down there.” He walked away stopping when he heard the voices of his friends in Nick’s room, smiling he knocked on the door. “What are you all up too?” he asked making a face as Leigh answered.

“Hey just waiting on Nick to finish putting on his shoes, we’re going sight seeing.” She flashed him the camera.

“I’m done,” Nick said as he stood up from the chair.

“Alright let’s roll,” Howie said as he wrapped his arm around Leigh’s waist.

“Ok you want come B?” asked AJ as he also stood up from where he was sitting.

“Uhm, I can’t I just made plans to have lunch with Josie,” he told his friends. “What?” he asked as he the look on AJ’s face.

“Man, I don’t about the rest of you but Josie seems a little extra sweet on Brian. I just think you should watch out Brian.” AJ told him with a concern look.

“Yeah I kind of noticed that too,” Nick said.

“Me too…it’s subtle but I can tell she has something for you Bri,” Howie also said.

“I can’t say anything, I’ve only talked to her once and she seemed to have gotten along well with Leighanne and Baylee.” Leigh said trying to ease the uneasy look on Brian’s face. But she couldn’t disagree because she really didn’t know her.

“You all are crazy; Josie is just lonely and is new to this whole thing. She is flirty but with all of us, remember the other day AJ…” Brian said as he pointed at AJ. He wanted AJ to remember when she joked about not removing his shirt in front of her…when she had no boyfriend. “She knows I am married and that I love my wife,” Brian told them.

“Just watch it Bri, Josie is fire and you might get burned…” AJ told him as he walked out of the room followed by the rest.

He watched his friends disappear and shook his head. “No Josie wouldn’t hit on me right? She knows I’m married.” He sighed and walked to his room.

He walked nervously into the restaurant still thinking about what AJ had told him. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her already seated in a table. She had changed clothes alright… “Hey,” he said nervously taking a seat in on the chairs.

“Hey,” she smiled as she saw him take a seat in front of her. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she his look.

“I – uh… Josie I don’t want you to take my friendship as me wanting something more with you. I’m married and I love my wife.” He said as he looked into her eyes.

She felt her heart stop as she heard him tell her that… “Right I know that Brian.” She assured him with a soft tone.

“I’m sorry if I just came out like that…but if I am going to be your friend I want you to understand that I have no other feelings for you. I just felt like I needed to tell you that.” Brian gave her a weak smile and watched her become very uncomfortable after that.

Was she that obvious? “I know I’m sorry if I gave the impression that I wanted more from you. I have come to appreciate Leighanne and Baylee too. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that, I know you wouldn’t even look at me like that either. I am not worthy of finding a guy like you.” she told him as she suddenly lost her appetite.

“I didn’t say that Josie,” he said nervously rubbing his neck. “I think you’re beautiful and I know that you will find someone very special for you. I didn’t mean to freak you out, I’m sorry for saying that. So friends?” Brian asked her wishing she would look at him since he had started to speak about this she had been looking only at the menu.

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression.” She finally willed herself to look at him. She wanted to cry, she didn’t know why hearing him say that to her made her feel repulsive.

“Ok then why don’t we order?” Brian said as he too began to browse the menu.

“I just want a salad, not that hungry.” She told him as she put her menu aside. She again caught herself looking at him, he was so into the menu he didn’t notice her staring at him. His very defined features, his jaw line and the sideburns everything about him all of sudden was sexy. Now that he told her he wasn’t interested only made her want him more.

“Wow, there’s a lot to choose from,” he said as he finally chose what he wanted. After ordering there food, they just waited in silence. “I guess it was a bad idea to start our conversation like I did.” He finally said looking at Josie who was busy fidgeting with her phone.

“I’m sorry…” Josie said as she finally put her phone away and stared at him. “No its fine I understand your concern but trust me, you have nothing to worry about,” she told him as she reached over and put her hand on his.

“I know but, I just felt like I needed to say that. Any who are you going to tell me anything about you? Like favorite hobbies or something?” Brian asked pulling his hand away from her without giving her the impression that he hadn't liked her bold move.

“Well there really isn’t much…but I guess I can say that I love pain.” She pointed to her tattooed arms. “I love to dance and play pool. I can be a bitch sometimes but who isn’t?”

Brian smiled as he saw her finally begin to talk again like before. “Well I have a few tattoos myself…I actually have the song I sang to Leighanne at our wedding tattooed around my arm.” His lighted up at the mention of his wife.

Josie felt a tug when he mentioned Leighanne, but he was right he was taken. She couldn’t do this because of Baylee; she had really become fond of him. “Awe how sweet,” she managed to say.

The remainder of lunch was kept silent or with small talk about the tour or related to Backstreet boys. After a friendly shake of hands she watched him walk away… “I need to find something to get my mind off him,” she told herself as she grabbed her purse. She knew where she could find someone; it was everyone’s day off so she went in search of the nearest Pub.

“So what did you say your name was again?” Josie asked as she continued to kiss him. She was tipsy so she wasn’t good with remember names.

“Fred, remember I told you I worked for the same people you do,” he answered kissing her back. “So my room or yours?” Fred asked as he helped into the elevator. She was wasted.

“Mine,” she answered as she continued to kiss him. She needed to forge about the conversation earlier with Brian. He needed to forget him period, he was married. “Nice tattoos,” she purred into his ear just as the elevator doors opened.

“Not bad yourself Josie,” Fred said as he followed closely behind her. He remembered the events before now, he had seen her before but had not dared to say hello. Then today at the pub he saw her alone and sort of sad, they talked lightly about different drinks. Then things got more intense when they played pool and drinks continued to come.

Josie shoved Fred onto her bed; she gave him a sly smile. “I give all the calls you understand? This what we are having is casual and nothing more…deal?” she asked him as she began to unbutton his pants.

“I’ll take whatever you give me, casual is perfect.” Fred told her as he sat up pulling her on him.

~ ~ ~ ~

Josie woke up to one hell of a headache, “Shit,” she muttered as she got up her bed. “Fred, wake up…” Josie told the man that lay on the other side of her bed.

“Good morning,” he said as he too grabbed his head. “How are you this fine morning,” he asked as he looked at his watch seeing it was actually twelve. “Never mind how are you this afternoon?”

“It could’ve been worse I guess… I hate to be rude but I need you to go…” she told him as she walked into her bathroom only to turn around and look at him once more. “Thanks I needed last night; I’ll call you when I need you again. I hope your out by the time out of my shower,” she winked at him and with that she closed the door to her bathroom.

He stared at the door and felt a little used but he had agreed to it last night he couldn’t complain right? “Yeah call me,” he said even if he knew Josie hadn't heard him. He grabbed his belongings and did as he was told.

Brian had just walked out the elevator and was going to head to his room when something caught his eye. “Fred?” he asked the man that seemed to be in a hurry. Had he just come out of Josie’s room?

“Bri, good morning…I mean hello.” Fred said nervously he didn’t want Brian to think anything bad about him.

“Hey what are you doing here?” he asked knowing well that his room was not on this floor. “I – me and Josie hooked up last night. She’s incredible…” he said as he continued to walk toward the elevators. “I really must go,” he said finally reaching the elevator.

He watched him disappear into the elevator and couldn’t help wonder if he had heard right. “Josie and Fred really?” he said to himself just as he made it to his room. It was a god thing right Josie needed a boyfriend. That would prove that she had nothing for him…

~ ~ ~ ~

Josie walked out of the well deserved shower to find that Fred had left just like she had asked. Last night she realized that she was never going to get a good man unless she fought for it. That was exactly what she was going to do…fight for what she deserved…

Josie smiled as she the look on Brian’s face when she hugged Fred in a more than a friendly way, “Well yeah definitely after the concert,” she told Fred.

Brian had been watching the way Josie had been acting lately. She had completely changed; she was always out partying and doing things with Fred. “Hey Josie I was wondering if you could do my makeup first cause I promised to call Baylee before the concert that way I will a chance to him,” he told Josie as he smiled at Fred.

“Well see you after I have to be on stage with the rest of the band, see you up there Brian.” Fred said as he walked away.

“Yeah sure no problem lets go.” Josie told Brian only giving him a half glance. She was playing her role right she had to pretend to not be interested that’s what all men like. A challenge so she was going to give him just that.

“Thanks,” he told her as he stared at her walk ahead of him not really making conversation with him. He suddenly felt bad for letting AJ’s words get to him. Had he hurt her feelings and made there acquaintance awkward that she wouldn’t dare even talk to him more than what was job related. “Listen Josie I know I was a little forward with you the other in lunch and I just want you to know that I intend for you to shun me, to the point where you ignore. I feel like I somehow have hurt your feelings and I do most sincerely apologize. I hope we can still be friends,” Brian told her as she faced him, he watched her stare at him in the eyes.

Josie stared at him straight in the eyes and then smiled… “I don’t believe I am offended at all. I would expect someone as respectful as you to tell me such. But Brian Littrell you have nothing to worry I can’t and will not see you as more than an older brother, a sweet older brother that I wish I really had. I’m sorry if I made you think I was offended, I just made new friends and they are so fun to be with. But I tell you what Brian, why don’t you go with me to get my new tattoo tomorrow? We can maybe talk a little, I was going to tell Fred to go with me but, your right I haven’t spoken to you since the lunch we shared in Germany.” She gave him a sincere smile and continued to apply on his makeup.

“Well I guess it would be nice to have a good chat, but do you really need another tattoo?” he asked as he pointed to her arms.

“What can I say? So when you speak to my little buddy Baylee tell him I miss him and hope to see him soon in Montreal.” Josie told Brian. “So then tomorrow?”

“Yeah tomorrow, at what time?” Brian asked.

“Well how about we have some lunch and then go to the tattoo parlor?” she asked him as she signaled him he was finished.

“Yeah ok that’ll work I will meet you at the elevators?” he asked as he stood from the high chair.

“Yeah see you there at twelve,” Josie told him only smiling at him as he disappeared from her sight. There was no turning back she deserved Brian just as much as Leighanne did, plus she could be a much better wife to him. She had her mind set she just hoped Brian would see her like she wanted him to see her.

******

Josie looked at herself in the mirror and smiled at her accomplishment. She finished by putting on a nice hoodie to keep herself warm, it was a chilly day and rainy day in London. She opened the door to her room and walked into the direction of the elevators, smiling when she saw Brian already there. “Ready?”

“Yeah let’s get going,” Brian told Josie as he gave her a friendly hug. “So where to?”

“Uhm, fish and chips?” she asked laughing as her horrible accent.

“Ok for you fish and chips I will see what for me.” Brian told her laughing at her too. Then he went back to his uneasy mood, he had spoken to Leighanne the night before and had gotten into a small argument but yet he had not apologized to her like he usually did before hanging up.

“Are you ok? You know you can talk to me, I mean I did the same when I was in freaking tears,” she told him as they walked into the open elevators.

“Ah, its nothing serious its just killing me that last night I didn’t make peace with my wife after an argument on the phone, I normally always as for forgiveness even if she’s at fault. I think I should call her, I feel so bad.” Brian told her as he faced her and feeling a little awkward to see the soft concern face staring back at him.

“Was it your fault?” she asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder. She was trying to show him that she could be a good listener.

“Well, no but I know it’s not right to not apologize one of us have to. I just really think that I am right with the decision I made last night,” he began to tell Josie.

Josie listened in silence to Brian talk out his frustrations and in her head this only made her goal easier. They had finally by then made it to a restaurant a only two blocks away from the hotel, “I don’t know if I should give my opinion on this matter. I mean I am as close to your wife as you. But it seems to me that Leighanne has this overpower on you…I mean just by what she shared with…” Josie stopped talking when she saw that Brian had his total attention on her. “I’m sorry maybe I shouldn’t share that with you,” she told him looking to another direction.

“No, I would love your opinion I mean if Leighanne could trust you, then I can. If you want to share what she told you, I will gladly listen and promise not to ever show that I know,” Brian told Josie, now he was curious to see what Leighanne could possibly say about him. He tried so hard to please her with everything and he tried to be the best husband around.

Finally after finding a nice both to sit in she spoke again, “I just don’t know if I am ready to do that, all I can say is that Leighanne seems to be the one to make most of your decisions as a family. Like she doesn’t take your opinion seriously,” Josie told Brian as she looked straight into his eyes.

“I don’t know I guess in a way you’re right but, in most cases I let her make those decisions to make her happy…” Brian told Josie.

Josie felt a small ray of hope inside her as she saw the sad look on Brian’s face at the realization that maybe Josie was right. They continued to talk and the more information she got from him about his relationship the more she felt confidant in being able to win his heart….

“Ok who’s this?” Josie asked as she felt the hands on her head covering her eyes. “Brian,” she smiled as he let go of his grip.

“How’d you guess it was me?” Brian asked as he smiled to her.

“I don’t know I just figured it would be you.” Josie told him as she gave him a smile.

“I was going to play some golf when I saw you here smoking like usual so I had see what you were up to? Want to golfing?” he asked as he took the cigarette from her hand. “You really should kick that habit in the butt.” He told her with a funny face.

“Fine…I won’t smoke anymore I will quit cold turkey happy?” she told him laughing at his face. “But if I quit AJ must too because if not I won’t be able to do it…” Josie told Brian that looked satisfied with her answer. “What is it with you Brian first you convince me to go against my will to get a new tattoo and now your making me quit smoking.”

“I will make sure AJ doesn’t smoke around you…that man is hard to convince to stop the habit. So golfing?” he asked again.

“I don’t even know how to golf…how about pool?” she asked him with a questionable face.

“No golfing…I will be your personal instructor. I heard Scotland has great golf courses.” He told her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him. He had finally put everything on the table and thought really hard about the situation. The truth was that Josie was only his friend like a sister like she had put it and AJ’s little hunch was just him probably hallucinating.

She laughed as he pulled her toward the waiting car. “I guess I have no choice,” she stopped when she heard her name being called. “Yes?” she asked Fred who was running toward giving her a nice peck on the mouth as he reached her.

“We were going to go sight seeing and wanted to invite you. Hey Brian,” Fred said all at once as he reached Josie.

Josie smiled she couldn’t have planned it better, “You know what it sounds awesome. Sorry Brian but me and golf just don’t mix. Talk to you later,” She told him as she pulled her hand from his grip. She then grabbed Fred’s hand and spoke, “Lets go,” she waved to Brian as she walked away with Fred.

Brian smiled and waved back to her, but inside he was a little mad. Why did Fred have to show up, he wanted to talk to her and just have a good day? Lately when he hung around her felt better like she understood him, she was a great friend. He took a deep breath and went on with his plans, it was apparent she had more feelings toward Fred than she led on. He was a little hurt though.

*******

Finally the last day of the tour in Europe then they would head to Canada. Nick was quick to show his happiness to that, “Yeah this is our last show, Canada here we go! Then finally home, U.S. of A hell yeah…” he said as he walked into to get his makeup done. “Ahah, I caught you there is no hiding it…your busted!” he told Josie who was putting out the cigarette she had just turned on.

“Now come on quitting cold turkey is not easy, I needed it anyway.” Josie told him as she sprayed some body spray in the room trying to take the smell of smoke away.

Nick began to cough, “fine I won’t tell you but you must do me a favor. Its only fair…” Nick told Josie with an evil grin on his face.

“What?” Josie asked annoyed, she knew he was not up to anything good.

:”Well since technically this is our last concert in Europe, I recall its prank time. So this is what I have planned and you will definitely help me…” Nick began to explain to Josie his master plan.

******

“I can’t believe you helped him,” Brian told Josie who was intently cleaning his face.

“Sorry but I thought it was funny everyone thought it was funny. Besides I can assure you with this all the permanent marker will go away,” she began to laugh as she continued to rub away the marker from his face.

“Yeah whatever, I am so getting Nick back for this one and you!!” he told her as he began to tickle her.

“Stop Brian or I will stop helping you remove it!” she told Brian as she pushed him away. “So I bet you’re happy you’ll get to see Leighanne and Baylee soon.” Josie tried to change the conversation, if she would have let him continue she might have let out her true feelings for him sooner ruining her cunning plan.

“Yeah I am actually. I want to carry Baylee in my arms and read him a bedtime story. Have a long night of chatting with Leighanne and just be with my family in general.” Brian told Josie as she smiled with expectation to know he would soon get to do just that.

“What? Just talk to Leighanne, really I would think you would say you couldn’t wait to have a long night of passion with her…I mean two months Brian? I don’t know if I could last that long…” Josie told him as she smiled when she noticed Brian was blushing.

“Josie…come on stop that. I was being serious here, why did you have to bring up that?” Brian asked still blushing from her forwardness.

“What we are both adults and we know the real deal.” She told him as she winked, “there your face is back to normal.”

“Thanks for cleaning my face after what you and Nick caused. I also know that we are adults but I really don’t like to discuss my personal information with other people.” Brian told Josie as he tried to compose himself from that awkward conversation at least for him.

“You amaze me sometimes Brian.” Josie told him as she looked at him intently again. “Well I guess I will go find Fred….all this talking got me thinking.” She told him as she began to walk away.

“NO, wait Josie.” Brian told her just as she was about to open the door to his suite and leave.

“Yes,” she asked as she arched her brow at him.

“Stay with me and watch a movie, maybe even play some video games. Just for tonight then in Canada you could continue to see Fred more often. Josie this will be our last time to talk, next time it will be with Leighanne and Baylee it won’t be the same just stay.” He asked he was shocked to notice he was actually kind of begging.

“I guess but when I watch a movie I tend to fall asleep and cuddle.” She told him as she let go of the door knob and walked back toward the living room area.

That night as they watched the movie Brian couldn’t concentrate for just like she had told him. She had fallen asleep and so close to him; he could feel her heart beat. Her face was fixed just in the croak of his neck and face he felt the light breathing. He sighed as he saw her sleeping she looked gorgeous. In a weird way he felt a bond with her, he just hoped Fred really meant to be serious with her, yet he wonder if she was serious about him too. He tried to concentrate on the movie but soon sleep won him over and fell asleep with her by his side.

After waking up with Josie by his side he felt a little awkward that he had been ignoring her a little in Montreal. But it was no use when Baylee kept inviting her to there suite. “Yes Baylee that’s it now slowly go down,” Josie told the little boy as she danced with him in his room.

“Josie will you play with me?” Baylee asked her as he flashed her, his toys.

“Yeah of course, so we will turn off this music and what are we going to play?” Josie asked him as she took a seat on the floor with him.

“Hey Baylee I think we should let Josie go out and hang out with her friends.” Leighanne to Baylee as she walked into the room, she took a seat on the floor too.

“But mommy Josie said she wanted to play right Josie. I am her friend too…” Baylee told his mom as she hugged Josie.

“It’s ok Leighanne I don’t mind…tell you what. Can I take Baylee with me? We can go get some McDonalds?” she said as she smiled at Baylee. “Please I don’t mind, beside you and Brian have a lot to catch up on.” she winked at Leighanne.

“Uh, I don’t know what Brian will say?” Leighanne told her as she saw her son jump with excitement.

“Please mommy, I promise to be good.” Baylee asked her mother with a big smile on his face. “Please?”

She felt sad as she saw the face her son was making; Baylee knew she couldn’t resist that face, “Ok but take a bodyguard with you please. Oh, and you must call me to let me everything is ok.”

“Yeah sure no problem. Come on Baylee I want you to meet someone, well maybe you do know him.” Josie told Baylee as she took him by the hand. “I promise he’ll be fine.”

“Who is it Josie?” Baylee asked as they walked out the suite.

“His name is Fred, he plays the drums.” Josie told him as they walked to the elevators. She was so entertained with Baylee’s conversation she did not see Brian watching them as he got off another elevator.

*******

“Hey where did Baylee and Josie go?” Brian asked as he walked into the suite to find Leighanne sitting on the couch looking through some magazine.

“Josie offered to take Baylee to McDonalds and Baylee was super thrilled that I just couldn’t say no,” Leighanne told her husband as she put the magazine down and walked up to him. She kissed him softly and then she intensified the kiss.

“Why didn’t you ask me first?” he asked her as he stopped her from kissing him. Josie was right Leighanne did not take his opinion in consideration. It made him a little mad.

She felt a little hurt by his reaction, “I didn’t think you mind, besides I like Josie I think I can trust her with our son. What you don’t?” Leighanne asked as she faced him with a hurt face.

He shook away his thoughts as a flash of the last two days came back. Where he woke up with Josie by his side on the couch, how there bodies were so close. Nothing happened but he couldn’t get that thought off his head, “No it’s not like that but, it seems that now you just tend to make all the decisions without me. I just feel that as a married couple we should make a decision together that’s all.” Brian said as he sighed and hugged his wife.

“I didn’t know you felt like that Brian, I’m sorry.” Leighanne told him as she hugged him. She smiled as she inhaled his sent and his arms embraced her. “I love you,” she whispered into his ear. She began to kiss his jaw line and made her way to his mouth.

“I love you too,” Brian said as he kissed her back. He smiled as he saw the look on his wife’s face.

“We are alone for while,” she told him.

“Yeah we are,” Brian said as he began to guide her to their room. “Thanks Josie,” he said before kissing his wife again.

*******

The next day as Josie began to apply makeup on AJ, “So how are you doing with the no smoking deal?” he asked as her as she was applying some foundation on his face.

“Good, haven’t had one since my slip in Paris. Don’t want Nick to use me as his accomplice anymore.” She laughed as she remembered the well thought up prank Nick had come up with.

“Yeah my face burned after rubbing alcohol on it to remove the permanent marker, I’m still trying to come up with a prank for him…” AJ told as he smiled evilly.

“Do you want me to apply the eyeliner?” Josie asked him as she finished with the rest of his makeup.

“Yeah go for it,” he told her as she leaned in closer to his face to apply it on him. See what AJ hadn't told anyone was that he did think Josie was attractive and at that moment her face so close to his only made her lips more inviting. But she didn’t understand her was she dating Fred or was he just a friend with benefits. And no matter what Brian said, he had a feeling Josie had feelings for him secretly. Maybe he could help her forget about Brian. He could be like Brian. Without thinking he kissed her.

Josie stopped as she felt AJ’s lips on hers. She was surprised; AJ never showed her much interest. She had to admit he was a good kisser though. She wanted to stop him but she couldn’t, she kissed him back. AJ was a nice guy and it was an innocent kiss, maybe it would help in her grand scheme. She smiled inside when she saw Baylee walk in with Brian behind him only stopping when he saw her kissing AJ.

“I’m sorry…I … I, we’ll be back come on Baylee,” Brian said as he took his son by the hand and left.

“What was that for?” Josie asked AJ as she saw Brian leave. She was contempt with this unsuspecting kiss. Did she hear a little hint of anger in his voice?

“I don’t know I just felt tempted, you’re a very interesting woman. I’m sorry I didn’t mean for this to occur. I guess I should let you know that I think you’re cute and would like for you to consider maybe going out with me some day.” AJ told her as he looked at Josie intently.

“I can’t accept your offer AJ because I don’t know if you have noticed but Fred and I are a little more than friends.” Josie told him smiling at him. She had found out about him telling Brian to watch out with her, he was the one that was making her plan take longer than expected. So she was going to make him suffer a little.

“So you two are dating then its official?” asked AJ.
“Well no but we’re pretty close I just don’t think you’re my type that’s all. Now if you excuse me I have the other three guys to get ready for tonight,” she told him patting him on the shoulder. “You’re a great kisser though, maybe in another time or place you and I could have hooked up.”

“I don’t give up easily Josie,” he said back to her comment and with that he walked out. Only to be grabbed by Brian’s hand. “What the hell?” he said as he was pulled out of the hallway and into another room.

“What in the world was going on in there?” Brian asked with a demanding voice.

“Nothing, I just told her I like her but relax Brian she declined. She likes Fred apparently, lucky for you too, don’t you think? I still think she would definitely dump whatever she and Fred have for you anytime.” AJ told Brian that did not seemed to a ease with his answer.

“I know about Fred. I just don’t think its right you know she is human, she wants something serious. I don’t want her to feel like she is not worthy of that you know. I don’t think Fred will give her that or in that case you either. Just leave her alone, I am comfortable in telling you this because I know you very well. I don’t know Fred; I just want try to keep her from always going back to what she doesn’t want.” Brian told AJ in a concern tone. Yeah that was it he was just looking out for her; she had told him he was like her brother.

AJ stared at Brian in a baffled way, “Are you serious? Since when did you become her bodyguard? By the way just like you said, I know you very well so I am very aware about what I am about to say…I can be just a good at you with a women, your not the only perfect man in this world. I don’t have to look like you to be good and if I have to fight for her attention I will…” AJ told Brian in a hurt tone. “Oh, and by the way this right here what just happened makes me think you may have stronger feelings for her yourself.” With that AJ walked out furious at the conversation he had with Brian.

“Mommy can we invite Josie to swim with us?” Baylee asked his mother as they took the elevator down to the pool.

“Sweetie Josie has other things to do besides play with you,” Leighanne told her son, feeling a little sad when she saw the sad look on his face. “But, we can ask and if she can she will if not we won’t beg understood?”

“Yes, mommy just ask her,” Baylee jumped in excitement.

“Ok come on then let’s go find her,” Leighanne told him as they walked out of the elevator and toward Josie’s room. She knocked softly and was about to leave when the door opened and a sleepy Josie stood there.

“Hey Leighanne and Baylee…” she smiled weakly. “Sorry I had a long night and I have to admit I was still asleep.

“Is that room service,” Fred asked as he stood behind Josie. “Oh, hi Leighanne…excuse me I will wait for you back in the…yeah.” He blushed as he saw Leighanne’s face of surprise.

“Good idea Fred,” Josie told him as she gave Leighanne a look of apology.

“I’m so sorry Josie,” Leighanne told her as she blushed.

“No, its ok…I should be the one apologizing for this.” Josie told her as she tightened the knot on her robe tighter.

“Josie you want to go swimming with me and mommy?” Baylee asked bringing both Josie and Leighanne attention to him. “It will be fun I have a beach ball we can play with!” he said excitedly.

“I don’t think she can Baylee,” Leighanne told him.

“Fred can come too, he’s fun. I had a lot of fun with him at McDonald’s.” Baylee said as he looked at Josie for an answer.

“No Baylee Josie is…she’s not feeling well so won’t be able to. Now come on lets go she needs to rest,” Leighanne told Baylee who looked disappointed.

“Actually how about I meet you down there,” Josie told Baylee.

********

“Hey,” Josie told Leighanne who was at the edge of the pool looking after Baylee.

“Hey sorry about earlier,” Leighanne told her. “So are you going to tell me about…Fred?” she eyed her in curiosity.

She laughed and blushed, “It’s nothing really…it’s a friendship with benefits.” Josie shrugged to emphasize that he me meant nothing more than that. “A girl like me can get lonely quick, so I found a good friend to console me when I need it,” she winked at Leighanne.

“You’re crazy Josie,” Leighanne told her as she stared at her. “Can I give you an advice and you won’t hate me for it?”
“Yeah,” Josie told her as she looked away from her stare. Leighanne was her friend and she felt a stab of guilt knowing what she was planning.

“You deserve better than just a friend with benefits. You need to stop going through the same path over and over again Josie. You can find a good man but you have to stop being the old Josie.” She put her hand on Josie’s and was a little surprised that her hand was shaking.

“I’m sorry,” Josie hugged Leighanne and for a second wanted to put a stop on her plan. But her feelings for Brian had gotten stronger and she couldn’t fight against her heart it had a will of its own.

“For what? I just have come to appreciate your friendship and Baylee seems to like you more everyday. Just take my advice,” Leighanne told her and smiled when she saw who approached them. “Hey how did it go?” she stood up and walked to Brian hugging him.

“Awesome like always, lots of fans showed up at the radio station.” Brian told his wife as he gave her a kiss.

Josie watched them a felt very jealous, “Baylee ready to play?” she told the little boy that was busy swimming on the low side of the pool.

“Josie!! Yes let’s play,” Baylee told her.

She smiled and stripped down to her two piece, “here I go,” she turned to smile at Brian who had been watching her. She gave him a seductive smile; of course Leighanne was still embraced in his arms she didn’t see it.

“Isn’t she wonderful, she just loves to please Baylee. That doesn’t help Baylee either he can’t seem to talk about her.” Leighanne told Brian as she turned in time to see Josie dive into the pool. “I just wish she would think of herself as more value than she does. Did you know she and Fred are well…you know friends with benefits her words.”

“Yeah it started back in Europe,” Brian told her as he stared at her play with her son.

“I think I should present her to my cousin Paul, what do you think. He’s a good catch…” she told him as they took a seat on the lounge chairs.

“Paul? I don’t know…she’s a little wild for him don’t you think? I mean look at her she is covered in tattoo’s.” he tried to sound like he was being reasonable but the truth is he couldn’t handle to see Josie with Paul, Fred or even AJ for that matter.

“That’s just a masquerade she uses,” Leighanne told Brian as she followed his gaze to the pool. “Well at least Baylee is going to be exhausted enough to crash into bed after this.”

“But, are you sure she will be ok with that? I mean you don’t even know if she wants you to help her in that department.” Brian told her as he finally took his eyes off her and his son.

“Well no, but I can convince her, so do you think we can invite Paul for a few days?” she raised her eyebrows at him.

“Hmm…I… do what you think is best Leighanne just talk to her first.” He told her as inside he felt his heart stop. What if Paul did like Josie, it would cause more distance between them.

********

“Ouch,” Josie yelled as she let Brian continue to help her walk out of the elevator. “I am such a clumsy dud.” She said, it had been perfect her slip on the pool.

“I think we should have a doctor see,” Leighanne told her as she followed them with a sleepy Baylee.

“No! It’s just a sprain it will be fine tomorrow.” Josie told her as she let her tears flow down her face. She just liked the idea of Brian’s strong arms holding her body. She wasn’t able to put her shirt back she only wore her shorts and her bikini top. His soft yet strong arms around her, she could say she was in heaven.

“Mommy I’m tired…” Baylee finally said as he rubbed his eyes.

“Awe, baby we’re just going to leave Josie in her room and we’ll head to our room to get you ready for a nap ok?” Leighanne told him.

“No its ok you go ahead Leighanne, I’ll take her and meet you at the room. Baylee does look exhausted,” Brian told Leighanne who was now carrying Baylee in her arms.

“I just want to make sure she will be ok…” Leighanne said she looked down at her ankle.

“I’ll be fine Leighanne go put my buddy to bed,” she smiled at Baylee in her head thanking him for his sudden exhaustion.

“Fine but make sure to get her some ice for her ankle Brian,” Leighanne told her husband. “I’ll check on you later when he’s asleep,” she told Josie as she left the opposite direction to her room.

“Ok,” Josie told Leighanne and gave little Baylee a kiss on his forehead. “Bye Baylee see you tomorrow.” She turned around to see them turn the corner; she smiled and sighed again… “Shit this is painful…” she complained as she turned to look at Brian.

“You sure you don’t want me to call a doctor?” Brian asked her with concerned blue eyes staring at her. He couldn’t help but look at her exposed skin; even with the tattoos she had a rocking body. Her pierced belly was toned and tanned…he shook his head as they finally made it to her room.

“Yeah I’m sure,” she told him as she slid her card and the door was ready to open. “Please take to my bed,” she told him as he closed the door.

“There you go,” he said as he helped her on the bed. “I should go get you some ice, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait…I need to change from these wet clothes. Could you please hand me that suitcase over there,” she pointed her suitcase. She hated to unpack when they only stayed in the hotel for two to three days max.

“Uh, looks like you and Nick have something in common. You don’t unpack,” he grabbed the suitcase and brought to her.

She began to search through it and on purposely showed off what she was going to wear; it was a very sexy night gown. “Can you help me to the restroom?” she asked him as she held her hand out for him to help her up.

“Yeah, sure…” he said and without hesitation helped her to the restroom. “I’ll wait out here for you to change so I can take you back to the bed…then I will go get some ice for your foot.”

“Ok,” she closed the door and smiled. She had seen the look on his face he was definitely liking her physical appearance. The truth was her ankle didn’t really hurt and most likely it would only get a small bruise, but with this sprain she got the opportunity of her life. She washed her face and changed her close applying on some cologne as well. She smiled and with it she opened the door. “Ok I’m ready to back to my bed,” she told him as she spotted him standing around.

“Ok,” he said he walked up to her and helped her back to her bed. “I will go get that ice,” he told her as he helped her sit on the bed. But was startled when she pulled him down to the bed also, “what was that for?” he asked her.

“I don’t know she told him,” she faced him. “I guess I just wanted to thank you,” she told him as she began to trace his face with her finger. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” she finally told him as tears began to come out her face.

“What is the pain getting worse,” he asked he sat up and was about to look at her foot when she pulled him back and her lips crashed on his. He was startled and at first he tried to push her away… “No…Josie this is not good…stopping.” He said but her kisses became more aggressive and so different to Leighanne’s….

Now I know what you’re thinking at this moment…what a bastard and stupid idiot I am for allowing Josie to seduce me. Because that’s what she did at the end. But what you don’t understand is just how much I punished myself for allowing her to kiss me. I was naïve and stupid to think that she actually only wanted to be my friend.

Honestly though I never had a problem before, usually it’s AJ or Nick who have trouble with these sorts of things not me. I guess you can say I had never experienced such things. I mean yeah some fans would tell me they love me and may have insinuated themselves upon me but I would then leave to the next town. So there was never a problem for me to solve. Yet Josie she was clever she played the friend card good.

The worst of it all is she had become really close with my own wife. How could I explain it to Leighanne? How would I ask her to stop talking to her? Not only that Baylee seemed to get closer to her as the tour advanced. I was in turmoil and what was worse AJ had become so distant from me…he hated me. I knew he knew more than he led on, he caught me kissing Josie once after the pool incident. A kiss I did not start, I swear.

Josie became my nightmare; she threatened to ruin my career by going to the press about our relationship. One that we never had…I never had sex with her I want to make that clear. We made out yes but it was only because I had no choice, I was scared of loosing my family and most of all the respect of my own son. What was my son going to think about me? What was AJ thinking of me…

See after AJ got out of Rehab he came to me and we had a brother to brother talk. He admitted to me that he admired me for my devotion to my family and my beliefs. I was so proud myself that I told him I would be there for him always for advice. Now look where I am at? He knew what was going on and I knew that he hadn't said anything because he was expecting me too. But how long was he going to keep it?

Josie was intoxicating and I’m not going to say that we never came close to sleeping together because we did a few times, but I couldn’t do it. I loved Leighanne I still do. But the more I tried to distance myself from her the more Leighanne invited her around. It was unbearable especially because every time Leighanne wasn’t seeing Josie was all over me.

She made me do things against my will, like lie to Leighanne to go see her. I was getting restless yet I still did not have the nerve to come clean…I was ashamed. That’s when AJ started to show me that he was becoming very impatient with my actions. How?

Well one day on rehearsal in Philadelphia he began to sing the song Poster Girl and what was worse the other guys followed his suit. I could’ve killed him with the look I was giving him when I had to join in… what was worse he didn’t sing Jodie… he said Josie on purpose…

[Flashback]

“Hello ladies…how’s everyone doing?” AJ asked the fans that were at the rehearsal. He smiled as the screams were heard. “Now usually this where we ask you what song you want to hear…but today I have a better idea. How about we each chose a song to sing?” he turned to look at the other three men.

“That’s sounds like a plan,” Howie said as he sat on the stool.

“Yeah it sounds good to me too,” Nick said as he walked on the stage getting a lot of screams. “Hi Ladies,” he smiled to them.

“I know your cool too B-rock right? Ok well I will go first… hmmm. It’s hard I have a few favorites,” AJ said as he pretended to think. “Oh I know…Poster Girl.”

“Poster Girl?” Brian asked as he looked at AJ with a worried look. He knew the words to that song…

“Yes B I think that’s a good don’t you all?” he asked the fans smiling. “Now I must let you all know that I’m a little rusty with this song but…I think you’ll like it anyway.” He began to hum the beat smiling as Nick and Howie joined in. “I guess it will be acapella…” he said and began to sing the first verse.

Josie was a long way from home
She could make alone look pretty
Her attitude made a part of the landscape
Riding her bike through Alphabet City
She likes to party in the backseat
Under the bridge on the Brooklyn side
Smoking cigarettes in the afterglow
Taking bets that the sun won't rise

She said, "what good is tomorrow without a guarantee?"
She can lick her lips and smile
And make you wanna believe

That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl

[End of flashback]

God I wanted to kill him right then and there but I knew he was right. How was I going to do this because yeah she was cute and sexy? Very different to Leighanne but at the end I knew Josie would only be a short fantasy and at the end I would only hurt me. Aside from the ones that I truly loved Leighanne and Baylee….

“Man seriously Bri and AJ what’s up with you two?” asked an annoyed Nick. The past few weeks AJ and Brian had been avoiding talking to each other and every time Brian gave any advice AJ would just roll his eyes.

“Why don’t you ask Saint Brian,” AJ said getting up from the chair he was sitting at.

“No one leaves this room till we solve this…or you two solve this.” Howie said with a stern voice blocking AJ from exiting.

“Fine, you want to know I’ll tell you,” AJ said looking straight at Brian who was just looking at the floor.

“AJ please,” Brian asked as he finally looked up at AJ. “I just need time,” he said quivering knowing well AJ was tired and he was going to talk no matter what.

“Time? Really? Oh come on Brian I have given you more than enough and you know well how hard it is for me to keep a secret. I would understand this from Nick or even me but you? No I’ve had enough…” he sighed and looked up at Howie. “I caught Brian and Josie kissing in Toronto and he told me it was just an accident. He told me that Josie was just tipsy and bullshit! The point is he is seeing Josie and the worse part is Leighanne knows nothing of this, shit she thinks so highly of Josie. If she only knew she was fucking her husband!” he said with frustration only to have Brian launch himself at him.

He felt anger as he heard AJ tell the rest of his friends, “NO…I have not slept with her you bastard,” he screamed at AJ as he launched himself at him giving him a good punch on his face.

“Stop this!” Howie said as he ran and pulled Brian away. “AJ how could you say such horrible lies about Brian?” AJ was lying he was sure out anyone Brian would never do that.

AJ picked himself up and wiped the blood off his lip, “He is with Josie and I saw him kissing her….swear I the holly bible you’re not romantically connected to Josie.” He demanded from Brian. “Come on Brian swear it!” he continued to scream at Brian.

“I am not sleeping with her…but you can say we’re more than friends.” He said looking down to the floor. “I don’t how it happened but I can’t…” he couldn’t finish his sentence when he felt Howie’s grip loosen and Howie back away from him. He felt horrible as he saw the looks on his friend’s faces.
“It’s true?” Nick asked Brian. “It can’t be true…Brian? I thought you said…” he sighed heavily and walked to AJ. “I’m with AJ on this one then.”

“I think we all are? What’s wrong with you Brian? What about Leighanne and Baylee? You need to straighten this out now or we will…” Howie told him for the first anger and disappointment heard on his voice. “Out of all us…you would be the last person to be accused about such thing and look?”

“Josie is not the right girl for you Bri,” AJ said.

“What but she is for you?” he asked looking up at AJ.

AJ looked at him with a surprise look, “What not no more if she is capable of ruining one my best friend’s life she’s worth shit! But if that was the case I AM SINGLE Brian!” He became angry at his comment if he was trying to sound like he had no fault his answers weren’t helping. “Look Brian I can’t keep this much longer you need to end this or I will go to Leighanne she doesn’t deserve this nor does you son!”

“You have to end this Brian,” Nick told him with a serious tone. “If not we will…”

“Do it the right way Brian before it’s too late and she has you in deeper shit, so you haven’t slept with her. But it won’t take her long to get you there; I’ve seen her flirt everyone has. I mean Fred? Hello?” Howie said sighing deeply.

“I’m scared…” finally he said and rubbed is hands on his hair. “I don’t know how to do it? I don’t want her I don’t I love Leighanne, but something just…” he couldn’t explain it but he was tormented.

“I know how it feels Brian but look what happened to me…” AJ told him finally walking toward him and hugging him. “If you need help just ask…”

“Yes we’ll fire her if we need too…” Nick said.

*******

Brian was nervous he didn’t know how Josie was going to react to this. But the guys were right he didn’t love her and he was only hurting the people he cared for. “Huh?” he asked Leighanne as he turned to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked again as she sat beside him. “Want a massage?” she asked him as she began to rub his shoulders.

“Nothing I was just thinking about our life we are perfect right?” he asked her stopping her from her task. He made her face him, “You love me right?”

“What a stupid question Brian,” she kissed deeply. “I don’t think I can live without you…” she told him looking at him again. “Why are you asking me all this questions? Are you sick is something wrong?”

“No don’t worry I’m fine…it’s just I guess I haven’t really expressed how much I love and how much you mean to me. Baylee means so much to me too and I would die if I lost you both…” he told her as he caressed her face. “You know I would never lie to you right?”

“You haven’t so far…” she told him smiling she was really getting worried with this conversation. “Your worrying me Brian, just tell me what’s bugging you.”

“Leighanne…I don’t know how to tell…” he stopped talking as he heard the knock on the door.

Leighanne sighed and smiled… “We’ll talk later and I trust you hun,” she leaned in and kissed him one more time. “I’ll get it.”

He felt his heart hurt as he heard her words, “You shouldn’t,” he whispered after she left. He sighed heavily as he heard Josie and Baylee coming in. He needed to tell Leighanne first and then he would end it with Josie that way she couldn’t threaten him about telling his wife. Now he also needed to see how he was going to keep Baylee away from Josie.

********

“What?” Howie asked Brian with a quizzical look on his face. “Whatever Brian, you’re just making it worse.”

“No Howie, I will I just need time.” Brian said as he followed Howie to the stage.

“Look even if we don’t say anything…sooner or later the truth comes out.” Howie told him as she got his microphone.

“I know, I know,” Brian said as he turned around and saw who was coming.

“Hey guys,” Josie said as she walked up to Howie and Brian.

“Hey its just rehearsal Josie you don’t have to be here yet,” Brian said in frustration.

“I know I’m sorry I was bored so I thought I could come and watch you rehearse.” She gave Brian a sly smile.

“You mean watch Fred right?” Howie said with sarcasm. “I see up there,” he told Brian and with that left he couldn’t stand her anymore.

“What’s up with Howie?” Josie asked Brian she hugged him knowing no one was there to stop her from it. She reached up and kissed him only to have him push her, “what?”

“Not now Josie,” he grabbed his microphone and began to walk up to the stage.

“Brian good luck,” she told him and blew him a kiss. “See you later, and you might want to wipe the lipstick from you lips.” She gave him a sly smile and walked away.

“I’ll call you when we arrive to the arena,” Leighanne told her husband as she finished putting Baylee’s shoes on.

“Ok,” Brian told his wife as he kissed her. “I love you, you know that right?”

Leighanne smiled at her husband, “Yes and I love you too.” She hugged him and kissed him again, “We still have to talk, last time we didn’t get to finish our conversation. I’m getting worried you look worried.”

“Its nothing really I’m fine. Be careful and I hope you find everything you want.” Brian gave her a smile and almost confessed to her what was killing him but he couldn’t. He knew she would leave him, he was sure of it and he couldn’t loose her or his son. He watched them leave and once he knew they were out of hear range he screamed. What was he going to do? He was startled by the sudden knock on his door thinking it was probably his bodyguard he opened it.

“Hey,” Josie gave him a sly smile. She squirmed past him and sighed, “I have been waiting for them leave for a long time. She told me yesterday that she was going shopping.”

“Josie what do you want?” Brian asked in a frustrated tone.

“To be with you,” she told him launching herself to him, her mouth taking his. She clung to his neck and wouldn’t allow him to push her away.

Finally he was able to push her away, “Stop,” he told her wiping his mouth. “I need to get ready I need to be at the arena in half an hour.”

“Come on Brian I’m feeling neglected here and I might get hurt. When I get hurt I can do some crazy things like spill out certain things…All I’m asking for right now is for Leighanne’s seconds. I will make you love me Brian; I feel the way you shiver every time we make out. Just admit it, I turn you on. No one will know until your ready…its our little secret.” She told him as she approached him; she began to give him butterfly kisses on his jaw line.

“Please Josie,” Brian said but he was human and the truth was Josie was hot. The way she was touching him and kissing him didn’t help. Suddenly there he was again making out with her, this time though it got a little more physical. She had already removed his shirt and was kissing a trail down his chest. He knew he needed to stop her, but he just couldn’t.

She smiled triumphantly as she began to play with his belt, this was it finally she was going to have him completely. “You’re so beautiful,” she told him as she went back up his chest to his mouth.

Brian knew he had to stop and held both her hands just in time, “No we can’t do this Josie,” he told her as he began to do his belt buckle again. He sighed in relief when he heard the knock on the door. “I have to go and you need a cold shower,” he told as he grabbed his shirt and put it back on.

She watched him leave, “Ah,” she sighed in frustration. “Damn it!” she said as she looked around the room, smiling as she saw something that caught her eye. “Oh looky here Brian’s suitcase,” she walked to it and looked through it.

*******

“Hey Aaron I’ll call you later,” Nick said as he hung up his cell phone. “Yo Brian what’s wrong,” he asked as he reached his friend.

Brian looked at his friend and felt even worse, “I’m a freaking mess Nick,” he sighed in frustration as tears of anger began to threaten to come out.

“We can fire her,” Nick said bluntly as he put an arm around his friend. He wanted to tell him told you so, but AJ already had. Brian did not need that right now he needed a way out, without hurting his loved ones. But the only way out was by being honest. “But first Leighanne needs to know and we can testify that Josie has always been a little “clingy” on you. We’ve all seen it especially AJ!”

“She showed up today in my suite right after Leighanne and Baylee left…I thought it was Jared.” He looked down in shame remembering how close he’d come to commit sin, not that he wasn’t already.

“Brian you don’t look to well,” Nick told his friend in concern, “your looking a little pale.”

“I need help Nick, I feel like I am going crazy literally,” Brian told him as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I have a big problem; I am starting to hate Josie. I don’t like that feeling yet I’m attracted her Nick,” he sighed heavily. “It’s hard for me to describe how I feel, I mean I hate her because she tricked me into believing she only wanted to have friends, but then I have to admit I do like her? Aren’t I stupid?”

“No, you’re just human a good hearted human that got wrapped around Josie’s finger, you’re a man and Josie is pretty tempting. I mean she practically wear’s nothing very sleazy most of the time and she is practically throwing herself on you. No man on there right mind deny her anything, the girl is easy I mean Fred? Brian you’re actually pretty strong you haven’t slept with her, that’s big and it means you love Leighanne. That makes you an honest man, just man up! Tell Leighanne she will be hurt at first but she loves you Bri, she will come to forgive you, just don’t take to long to tell her.”

“I know,” Brian told him giving him a weak smile.

“Look I see it this way, if you tell her she will know you love her. It will make her forgive you faster, but if she finds out before you tell her Brian…that in her heart will be betrayal. And that my friend is hard to forget, trust me I’ve been there.” Nick patted Brian, “Now let’s go get ready for a good show tonight. Pray Bri, god listens you always tell us that, he will help you.”

“Yeah, ok I’m just going to get a bottle of water I’ll catch up to you.” he watched Nick walk away, “Pray? I don’t think god is too happy with me at the moment,” he said to no one as he went to go get his water. But Nick was right, god was a forgiver. God would listen he knew and now realized that he had stopped praying since Josie began there little rendezvous.

*********

“Thanks guys,” Brian told his band mates as they walked toward the stage. They had stuck to him like glue during makeup time. Josie didn’t have a second alone with him.

“Hey we told you we would help,” Nick told him as he fixed his microphone.

Brian smiled, he had the best friends and he was now determined to end this chaos soon really soon. He finally realized he had left his wedding band in the dressing rooms, “Darn wait you guys I forgot my ring, I’ll be right back.”

“Well do you want one of us to go?” asked Howie.

“No I’m good; Josie by now thinks I’m getting ready to go on stage. Besides I’m just going in and out.” He told them as he began to run back to his dressing room.

“Hey Marcus,” Leighanne said to the huge body guard that guided her and her son through the backstage area.

“How was the shopping?” Marcus asked as they came in eyesight with the guys standing ready to go on stage.

“It was fun,” Baylee said giggling. “Hey where’s my daddy?” he asked as he squirmed his way out of his mother’s grip.

“He’s in his dressing room, buddy…” Nick said as he messed with his hair.

“He forgot something,” Howie told Leighanne who was looking at them curiously.

“Oh, well then we’ll just wait here. He is going to be mad I forgot to call him,” she said to the rest of the guys.

“I’ll go with daddy,” Baylee said and ran before her mother could get him.

“Baylee!” Leighanne screamed but sighed when she saw her son just running toward the dressing rooms. “I should go get him,” but was stopped by Marcus.

“The kid knows his way Leighanne don’t worry.” Marcus said as he laughed at Baylee’s spur of the moment ideas.

“Yeah you’re right,” Leighanne said as she saw Leigh approaching. “Hey,” she told her.

“How was shopping?” Leigh asked as she wrapped her arm around Howie.

“Good, I think I went overboard this time,” Leighanne said laughing.

“Where is it?” Brian said out loud as he looked again where he was sure he had put his ring at.

“Looking for this?” Josie asked as she walked into the room holding the silver wedding band in her hand.

“Yes! Why do you have it?” Brian asked with an angered voice.

“I found it earlier when I came in here to wish you good luck on the show tonight. You want it back right?” she asked as she approached him. “Well I will give it back to you only if you kiss me, I mean I deserve that after all you left me the way you did earlier.”

“Josie I need to be on stage give me my ring,” Brian said as he moved away from her.

“I already told you, for a kiss I will…” she told him again and with out a care grabbed his face and kissed him full force.

Brian was startled as Josie kissed him but right now he was mad and diligently he took the wedding ring back from her hand and pushed her hard. “This needs to stop Josie! I don’t like you let alone love you leave me alone!” he was mad and without even saying another word stormed off. Little did he know who had witnessed everything?

*******

“Hey Baylee where’s your daddy?” AJ asked as Baylee came back running in full force.

“I don’t know?” Baylee shrugged and ran to his mother raising his hands. He wanted to be carried.

“Hey I’m back,” Brian said as he saw who was there now. “Hey I was getting worried you didn’t call,” he told his wife only kissing her cheek. “Hey Baylee,” Brian told his son only to have cling tighter to his mom. “What’s wrong with Baylee?” he asked.

“I don’t know?” Leighanne said as she looked a little worried. She was about to explain to him about Baylee going to look for him but she couldn’t since they were called to go on stage.

Leighanne and Leigh watched as the guys went on stage, “what’s wrong honey?” Leighanne asked her son now that they were alone.”

“Mommy I don’t like Josie anymore. She makes daddy mad…” Baylee said as he hugged his mother tighter.

Leigh felt a lump form on her throat, Howie had told her about the situation already. “I guess his crush on her is over…” she tried to lighten the situation since she saw the look on Leighanne’s face.

“Yeah I guess so,” Leighanne said to Leigh only half listening. What made Baylee say that?

“Here let me give you massage,” Leighanne told Brian as she made it to his side of the bed. She kissed him on cheek, “You look a little sick, you sure you’re ok?” she asked as she began to remove his shirt.

“I’m fine just a little tired that’s all…” he told her as he allowed her to take off his shirt. “That feels so good…” Brian told her as she worked her magic.

“Just relax…” she told him leaning in to give a kiss and then went back to her task. “Can I ask you something?” she asked cautiously.

“Mhmm…” was all Brian could say as he enjoyed his massage. “Did Baylee find you earlier at the arena? You know he went looking for you when he found out you were not there with the rest of his uncles.”
Brian opened his eyes, he had been enjoying this moment so much and now he just couldn’t anymore, “Baylee went to look for me? I never saw him, till I reached you all close to the stage.” He began to panic in his head; Baylee couldn’t have seen anything right?

“Really, I wonder where he went to then because he told me he didn’t like Josie anymore.” Leighanne told Brian leaving out the other thing Baylee had said. She had noticed the way her husband had tensed up after she brought up the situation. “Maybe he got scared or maybe Josie scared him playing around but he took it serious? Just never mind then…I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

“Yeah maybe…don’t worry honey I’m sure Baylee will be ok by tomorrow. Thanks for the massage, I think we should get some sleep.” He said grabbing her hand in his kissing them both, “I love you Leighanne, maybe we can take a well deserved vacation after the tour…where ever you want.”

Leighanne looked at her husband carefully and for once she felt like he wasn’t the same. “Yeah I’d like that…” she gave him a weak smile. She took her hands and caressed his face, “you know you can come to me for anything right? I’m here for you when you need me just like I know you are here for me…that’s the wonder of marriage ok?” she kissed him deeply.

He kissed her back and felt comfortable. She was the right person he knew that, then why was whatever he had with Josie hard to end? He smiled as he realized Leighanne was undoing the button on his pants, “I’m fine and I know you’re here for me just like I am for you.” he began to kiss her again trailing his kisses down her neck, “wait you sure Baylee is asleep?” he asked.

Leighanne began to laugh lightly, “great way to ruin the mood,” she told him.

“Really that ruined the mood?” he asked as he began to kiss her again. “I thought so as he heard Leighanne moan softly at his touch. He was going to make this night memorable and special for Leighanne. He was going to enjoy her body like never before the body he so much loved.

********

“Gotcha!” screamed Nick as he picked up little Baylee twirling him around.

“Nick! He just ate don’t make him nauseous,” Leighanne said as she smiled at the young man playing with her son.

Baylee laughed as Nick put him down, “It’s ok mommy, I like it when Uncle Nick twirls me like that,” he said high fiving his uncle Nick.

“Ok we’re set,” Brian said joining them. “Ready for the next city?” he asked his friend Nick.

“You bet,” Nick said grabbing his cap and put on. “But first we have to go through that,” he said pointing to the fans that waited just outside the lobby. He sighed and began to walk, “it never gets old,” he said before his bodyguard opened the door for him.

“Your next,” Jared told Brian and his family as he waited for Nick to make it safely to his bus.

“I should take Baylee,” Brian told his wife grabbing his son. He was startled as Baylee hesitated and ran away from him. “Baylee it’s not time for games get over here,” Brian told him a more fatherly tone.

“No, I want mommy to carry me…” Baylee told his dad as he moved to his mother’s side wrapping his arms around her leg.

“It’s ok I’ll take him,” Leighanne told Brian as she handed him her purse and picked him up. “Let’s go,” she told them just in time to see Jared cue them to move.

A few autographs and gifts for Baylee later they made it to the bus, Brian watched in silence as his son completely ignored him and just clung to his wife. He was puzzled at his sudden change toward him and then it him what Leighanne had told him the night before…could that be it? Finally he saw Leighanne lay sleeping Baylee down. “Is he ok?” Brian asked as she approached him.

“I don’t know? That was a little weird, I think he might be getting sick,” she told him as she sat on his lap. “Don’t worry its probably the I hate daddy phase, he’ll probably have one for mommy too.”

“Yeah maybe, we should still have a doctor see him.” he told her as he looked back to his son. He hoped it was one of those to choices and not what he thought.

********

“Finally we’re here,” Leighanne said as she and Baylee walked into the new suite in a different city. “Now we have an appointment to make sir…” she told her son as she sat him on one of the couches in the suite. “Bay honey what’s wrong? Does something hurt?” she asked him as she kneeled beside him.

Baylee shook his head, “No mommy nothing hurts,” he told her as he looked down at his little hands.

“Bay what’s wrong? Why don’t you want daddy to carry you?” she asked making her son look at her. “You know you can tell mommy,” she told him kissing his little forehead.

Baylee stared at her mommy for a while and then he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know mommy,” he finally said to her.

“Can mommy ask you a question Baylee and you promise to tell her the truth?” she asked her son now really worrying. What bothered her most was the other nights comment, “why don’t you like Josie anymore?”

“Cause, cause she makes daddy mad and…” he shrugged his shoulders again.

“Why do you say she makes daddy mad?” she asked him not trying to make him feel awkward with all the questions.

He looked at his mommy on more time and with his little hand he touched her lips. “Mommy I can kiss you here right? So can daddy right?” he asked her.

She sighed as he changed the conversation, but she still answered, “yes Baylee,” she kissed his little hand.

“Can daddy kiss anyone there too?” he asked looking at his mother curiously.

“Well… he can but he shouldn’t unless it’s me, you or grandma maybe grandpa too.” She began to panic inside as she realized Baylee was getting somewhere with all those questions.

*******

“What do you want?” Brian asked as he saw Josie’s smile.

“Well I missed you too, come in wouldn’t want anyone to see you here in my room.” she told him allowing him to come in.

“Ok look Josie, your hot yes but I can’t see you like you want me too…Please leave I am willing to pay you a good sum for you to disappear. I won’t leave Leighanne for you or anyone. Last night I realized I love her with all my heart and wish to grow old with her.” Brian told Josie in an almost begging tone.

She thought about his offer…yet there was something about that man she knew no money in the world could give her, “as tantalizing as your offer is Brian, I must decline. I don’t want money or fame I want you.”

“Don’t you get Josie? I am not going to be yours ever,” Brian told her with anger.

“Then why are you here?” she asked him with a smile on her face.

“Because you threaten me! I have no choice I don’t want to hurt my family so I am stuck here…please I am asking you once more…please leave.” He sighed and looked at the floor this was getting tiring and if she didn’t listen this time he was going to have to come clean with Leighanne. What he should’ve done long time ago?

“Ok…you win,” she told him as she looked at him with sympathy.

“Really? Thank you,” Brian said but regretted as soon as he heard her say but.

“But on one condition,” Josie said slightly smiling as she crossed her arms. “Just give me one night…I just want to feel what Leighanne feels once that’s all. After that I promise I will be out of your life forever of course with that large sum you offered earlier too. What do you say? Take it or leave it?”

“Ok I’m coming,” Leigh said as she opened the door to her suite. “Leighanne?” she asked as she saw the look and tears on her face. She moved aside as Leighanne pushed her way inside without a word.

“I need you to watch Baylee for me please,” Leighanne told Leigh who was still in a state of wonder. “I’ll explain later…” she said trying to hold her tears; she didn’t want Baylee to see how much hurt what he had confessed to her brought her.

“Yeah ok, Baylee can stay with me; we can watch a movie ok Baylee?” Leigh asked the little boy that was just holding to his mother’s hand. “Then uncle Howie will join us, he’s in the shower at the moment.” She told Baylee as she took his hand.

“Thanks Leigh,” Leighanne said as she wiped the tears she couldn’t control from coming out. “I’ll be back in a few…” with that she opened the door and walked away. She paced back and forth waiting for the elevators to open then she got a better idea, she began to walk to the one person she knew would tell her the truth. “Nick knows, he knows” she said to herself as she walked to his room. She banged on the door impatiently and was about to give up when Nick opened the door. “We need to talk,” she told him as she looked into his surprised face. She walked into his room without permission to find a young woman inside.

“Leighanne I was kind of in the middle of something,” Nick said as he followed her inside. But one look into her eyes he knew he needed to listen to her, “Jen, how about I call you, this is kind of important. Sorry,” he told his new friend as he walked her to the door. After he was sure Jen was out hearing range he turned and walked to a very distressed Leighanne. “Ok talk to me,” he sighed fearing the worst.

She took a deep breath and spoke, “Nick I want the truth…is Brian cheating on me?” she asked him trying to not sound too hurt.

Nick looked down to the floor and tried to find a way to tell her it wasn’t true to give Brian sometime, but he couldn’t do it. “I don’t know how to tell you…” he said finally looking up to see the tears falling down her face.

“Josie isn’t it?” she asked between sobs. She didn’t care anymore to try and hold her tears she let herself fall on the couch and began to cry. “When?” she asked.

“I don’t think I’m the right person to be telling you this Leighanne. But I do have to say one thing for Brian, he loves you and you must let him explain to you what’s going on.” he patted her shoulder as he took a seat next to her. “Josie is not the person you think she is,” he said.

In between the anger and tears she managed to laugh in disdain at Nick’s words, “Your Brian’s friend of course you will defend him.” She looked at him and then she spoke, “He’s with her right now isn’t he?”

“I am guessing so,” he sighed, “I’m not defending him because the guys and I told him to come clean, before this happened. Don’t judge me like that Leighanne, I am just as mad as you are at him. But I know the whole story…so just promise me you’ll hear him out.”

Leighanne’s eyes widen, “All of you knew and none of you thought about telling me?” she asked standing up and began to pace around the room. “I can’t wait for him to get back I am going to find him now,” she said walking out the room without another word.

Nick looked at the open door puzzled he didn’t want to get involved but he knew he needed to with her, “Leighanne wait,” he yelled as he grabbed his key card and ran after her. He sighed in relief when he saw her standing waiting for an elevator, “You need me with you,” he said giving her a weak smile.

********

“Are you crazy?” Brian asked as he stared at her in disbelief.

“I guess you can say I am, crazy about you.” she told him giving me a sly smile. “So what do you say? Just once Brian…and I’ll get out of your life,” she told him walking toward him.

He looked at her and he couldn’t deny he had wondered how it would feel to be with her, because he had become quite attracted her. He closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his, he was torn between stopping her and letting her. It was just one time and she would leave him alone right? But somehow that didn’t seem so convincing what if it was all just a trap to really have something on him? He pushed her and opened his eyes, “You’re crazy, I can’t believe I actually considered you a friend!”

“Blah blah is all I hear Brian, now you take or leave it. I want an answer now and choose wisely. If you choose to accept my offer well we’ll get on and if you choose not I will march up to your room and tell Leighanne what we have.” She crossed her arms looking at Brian with a daring smile.

“What we have? Tell me what we have Josie?” he asked her looking at her with frustration.

“Oh don’t act stupid Brian… I know you wish to touch me and kiss me. I am actually quite surprised you haven’t yet…I might start doubting you sexuality.” She laughed and then she sighed… “Ok enough bullshit and tell me what your choice is?”

He sighed heavily if could get a chance to tell Leighanne that’s all he needed tonight to come clean. “Ok one night and you’ll leave me. You won’t mess with my family and it will stay between us right?”

“That’s the deal and the cash don’t forget about that.” she told him with a victory smile on her face. She walked up to him again and kissed him passionately. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment.”

Brian couldn’t deny that he enjoyed her kisses and friskiness, but he had to stop her. “One more thing though…” he said pushing her away softly to not anger her. “Not tonight…I want this to be memorable to you. I mean I made you doubt my sexuality, so I will arrange for us to be together somewhere else romantic. So we can say goodbye properly.” He told her and kissed her to make sure she obliged.

Leighanne watched in horror as she saw Brian kiss her and hold tight to him. She began to clap bringing Brian’s attention along with Josie’s to her. “Nice,” she said as Nick held her in place. “Nick let me go, don’t worry I won’t hurt anyone. So this is what you had to do right after we got here? Well Matt sure looks a lot like Josie to me Brian.” She told him with anger as she stared at Josie who had a smirk on her face.

“Leighanne…” Brian stopped talking when he saw Leighanne signal for him to shut up.

“No you have nothing to tell me Brian, I saw all I needed to see. But you know what’s worse? That I had to find out from your son…hmm man you know what Nick I think I need to go after all.” She told Nick as she turned around to walk back out the door. “I am so glad Matt keeps the spare key for everyone, that way I saw it with my own eyes!” with that she freed herself from Nick’s grip and ran toward Josie slapping her right in the face. “That’s for having the decency to try and be my friend when all you want was him.” she pointed to Brian and walked out the room. “Oh Nick tell Brian not even dare to go to the suite till I am done packing!” she screamed as she walked away tears flowing freely down her face. Betrayed that how she was feeling…she had to leave and take her son with her. She tried to think back to see if she could find out exactly when she had lost Brian.

“Let me go!” Josie screamed as she tried to get away from Nick’s grip.

“Look,” Nick told her with a stern voice. “I and the rest of the fellas have something to take care of and for my friends sake you’re not going anywhere till this is solved.” Finally they made it to AJ’s suite, “We’re here,” he told AJ as he saw him glare at Josie. “Sit,” he told her as he pushed her toward the couch.

Josie began to laugh, “There’s nothing you can do you idiots. Leighanne is going to leave Brian and I am going to be the new Mrs. Littrell. He will realize that she is not worth it.”

With that both AJ and Nick looked at her and mockingly laughed like her, “Well you’re definitely a little psycho. Get it through your fucking head Brian does not like you and your not even a half better than Leighanne. You’re a whore…” AJ told her giving her an evil grin.

“I couldn’t have said it better,” Nick told AJ high fiving him.

“Thanks Nick,” AJ told him and faced Josie with a grin on his face. “Now Josie while you were sucking face with Brian, I went to management to get this.” he flashed her a copy of the contract she had signed before joining the Backstreet crew. “Thanks to Nick for texting me to do so of course, now as I began to read this very long contract I found a couple things that you have violated and means we can fire you.”

“You fire me I go to the press about Brian and I,” she told them crossing there fingers.

“No you can’t see, this page right here states clearly that whatever you see while on tour is not to be used to publically get profit from us, we can sue and put you in jail.” AJ said as he showed Nick exactly where he was reading.

“Oh, wow so that means your screwed Josie,” Nick said with sarcasm. “Now here’s the deal you leave and never again talk about all this shit you caused. If you even dare to say anything stay assured we will sue and make sure you regret ever working for us.” He stopped talking when he saw the tears coming down Josie’s face.

She had screwed up and bad, she began to sob… “You guys don’t get it do you?” she asked them as she continued to cry. “I am in LOVE with Brian. He was the first man that I felt like didn’t just want to sleep with me. He showed me kindness and didn’t judge me by my appearance. Do you think I didn’t know it was not good to feel this for him? Of course and at first I fought it…but then my old self won.” She told them as she continued to cry, “All I wanted was his attention, I didn’t want to hurt Leighanne either. She is so sweet and a great mother….could you tell her I’m sorry?”

For a second they felt bad for her but the truth was if she really did love Brian like she confessed she wouldn’t have done what she did, “To my knowledge when you love someone you that person to be happy which means that if she or he are going to be happy with someone else you them. Brian is happy with Leighanne, so don’t try to pull that one me Josie.” AJ said as he sighed in frustration.

“Fine, but can I talk to him one more time, just once more?” she asked them as she wiped away her tears.

“Hell no you can’t, first off I don’t think he really wants to you see after this.” Nick told her.

“He is busy trying to amend what you ruined,” AJ told her with a anger in his voice.

*********

“Come on, Brian it’s too late to regret, now it’s about getting Leighanne back,” Howie told Brian as they walked back to his suite. “Management is going to take care of her, just worry about your wife.

“She doesn’t want to see me…” Brian said in a sad tone. “Plus my son hates me…” he said again beginning to cry he usually never cried in public but this was killing him.

“Look everything is under control Marc and Jared will meet us at your suite. I got the best plan ever.” He gave his friend a weak smile. Shortly after that sure enough there stood both bodyguards outside the suite Brian was suppose to share with his family.

“Leigh is in there already,” Marc told Howie as he gave Brian a sympathetic look.

“Ok look wait here Brian I’ll be right back.” Howie told him as he opened the door to the suite and walked in. He felt horrible as he saw a very upset Leighanne just throwing things into the suitcases while Baylee just hugged Leigh. “Leighanne,” he said softly as he walked in.

“Howie, why didn’t you tell me this was going on?” Leighanne asked as she finally stopped what she was doing and faced Howie.

“I wanted to trust me, but there is more to this than you think. Leighanne you can’t leave just like this. You need to hear Brian not only for you but for him,” he told her pointing to Baylee who looked a little scared at that point.

“Oh we will talk in court, I am getting a divorce.” Leighanne said with a stern voice.

“No your not, you have to talk to him now let him explain. For the love you confessed to have for him you must hear him out.” He told her getting near her. “Leigh why don’t you go get some ice cream with Baylee?” he turned and told his wife who without hesitation walked out.

“Come on Baylee we’re getting ice cream,” Leigh told the little boy as she walked out the suite only to find Brian, Marc and Jared standing outside. She was just as upset as Leighanne was Brian had no excuse, he had many chances to come clean and he didn’t. Yet she knew how strong they were as a family and maybe it was harder than it seemed. She gave him a weak smile and walked away.

Brian eyes began tear up again as he saw Baylee walk away with Leigh, “I’m an idiot.”

“Come on Brian this is our cue to go into the room,” Marc told him pulling him inside the suite where he saw Leighanne crying hysterically as Howie consoled her. “We’re here,” Marc told Howie to get his attention.

“Thanks Marc,” Howie said just as Leighanne saw who also was in the room. “Now Leighanne before you say anything let me tell you what’s going to happen. You and Brian are going to talk in here, while I go take of psycho bitch with the rest of the guys. Pardon my French,” he told them as he walked toward the door.

“Howie I’m not staying here with him,” Leighanne said with anger in her voice. “I’m leaving, I just need to go find Baylee.” She got startled when Marc got in front of her and made her stop.

“You have no choice Leighanne, that’s why I had Marc and Jared here they will be guarding the exit your not allowed to leave till you two solve this,” Howie told them as he opened the door to the suite. “Now Brian you explain all of this to her and Leighanne for Christ sakes listen to him!” with that Howie left shutting the door behind him. Hopefully his plan would work.

*******

Fifteen minutes had passed since they both were forced to stay in the same room and talk. Brian had tried but he was told to shut up, so there he was sitting on the big bed staring at the bathroom door where Leighanne had been since. “Leighanne I’m sorry…but please let’s talk. If after I tell you everything you still feel like we can’t work it out I will give the divorce.” Brian said with a sad tone. She still didn’t make an attempt to try and open the bathroom door.

“You’re a bastard you know that,” she screamed from inside the bathroom. “How could you let Baylee catch you with her?” she screamed again and finally opened the door to the restroom. She stood there with her arms crossed waiting for his response.

He felt his tears begin to flow again, “Its complicated Leighanne please let me start since the beginning.”

“I will listen to you but I just don’t think we will get anywhere either way.” She told him as she took a seat on a chair far away from him. “Talk,” she demanded as she wiped her tear stained face.

“First off Leighanne you and Baylee are the most important people in my life. I would never in my life want to hurt you. So I screwed up Leighanne I did but I NEVER and I mean never sleep with her! I swear to you I didn’t… I don’t know exactly when it started though, but I should start when you left Europe…”

“Am I boring now?” Leighanne asked Brian as she listened to him explain to her how things with Josie got so personal.

“No Leighanne you’re a wonderful wife and you make me happy. I- I don’t know how to explain to you how I began to see her as more than just a co-worker. She didn’t even show any interest in me at first…I began to trust her just like any other friend till…the time at the pool where she hurt he ankle.” Brian told Leighanne as he stared at her languidly, her face was tear stained but it was still beautiful. How stupid was he to even at one point look at someone like he saw her. “I love you Leighanne,” he said as he dared to get near her. He kneeled in front of her and began to cry, “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner but, I feared this…exactly what’s happening right now.”

Leighanne stared into his eyes and couldn’t help but feel that he was being sincere but she just couldn’t take the picture of him kissing Josie off her head. “Brian it’s not that easy for me to just shrug this off…” she told him as she stood up and again put a distance between them. “As much as I believe that Josie started this…you let it continued. The fact that you may not have had sex doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for her. You kissed her and spent time with her alone, I saw the kiss and you kissed her with such passion…” she closed her eyes to keep herself from crying. “With ardor and it looked like you had deep feelings for her, maybe we are finished with what we had it isn’t there anymore.” She told him as she paced in the room.

Her words made his heart feel pain, “Leighanne I love you…” he said firmly standing up and walking toward her. He made her stop and face him, “look at me Leighanne, I love you.” he told her.

She pushed him and walked away again, “Brian you kissed her and even if you don’t want to admit it you cheated on me!” she told him finally anger showing in her voice. “Now it is apparent she is giving you something I’m not…” she told him calming down.

Brian pulled on his hair with frustration, “Your right Leighanne I did cheat on you…but ask me how I feel about it? It’s killing me…” he was running of ways to tell her that Josie meant nothing to him.

******

“Miss Monticello, I would like to ask for your passes and anything we gave you when you were hired,” Rick told Josie as he stared at her intently. “Now the guys here have told me everything so I won’t even ask for an explanation. Now as Nick and AJ have told you…under the contract you signed we expect you to not share any of what you caused with the press. I am a very nice person Miss Monticello but, I know this business like the palm of my hand I will make sure you suffer the consequences if you decide to break this contract. I will do it not only for the career of these men, but for the friendship I have with Brian.”

“I do have this,” Howie said handing her an envelope. “Brian made you a promise and he has kept it, this will help you financially. He doesn’t want to see you again, if he ever does it won’t be a nice meeting…if you know what I mean Josie.” Howie told her with a cold tone in his voice.

“I can’t believe you used me,” Fred said as he walked in with anger in his voice. “You used me didn’t you?”

“Fred this is not about you,” Rick said turning to face the angry man.

“No it is, I’ve should’ve known you were using me…I saw the way you got so close to me when Brian was around. What sucks the most is how fake you were with Leighanne and the little boy.” Fred said staring straight at her.

“Oh come on Fred I told you since the beginning what we had was casual,” she told him with anger in her voice. “I mean please Brian is a better man than any of you here,” she said out loud glaring at Fred.

“Go to hell,” Fred said leaving, he was so mad to think he was actually starting to like her a lot.

“That’s why he never looked at you the way you wanted because he is a good man; good men don’t take girls like you seriously.” AJ said bluntly as he stared at Josie with hate.

What AJ said got her blood boiling and before Josie knew what she was doing she ran up to him tried to slap him. She was startled when AJ caught her hand in mid air, “You fucking idiot…I don’t know what you’re so surprised about? You and I are cut from the same string. That’s why you’re still single because no woman will look at you in that way either. Why don’t you go and get wasted…stop trying to pretend you’re sober.”

“Miss Monticello…If I were you I would watch what I say.” Rick said cutting AJ from responding to her comment. “Matt you can accompany Miss Monticello to the suite she was occupying and let her gather her belongings. Then put her on a plane back to her home.” Rick said as he looked at everyone gathered in the room “Now I must go find a temporary makeup artist and cancel the events for tonight. Make sure Brian is good for tomorrow’s concert please,” he told the guys as he walked out of the room with his cell phone in hand.

“Got to love management,” Nick said as he watched Matt walk out with Josie in hand.

“Yeah…I wonder how things are going with Leighanne and Brian.” Howie asked out loud as he sighed heavily.

“I hope well…man this is some fucked up shit…” AJ said lighting up a well deserved cigarette.

*********

“What’s wrong?” Marc asked as Leigh came up to him.

“He wants his mommy,” Leigh said as she carried a crying Baylee.

“But they’re not done in there,” he said to Leigh. As he messed with Baylee’s hair he saw Howie approaching… “Do you want me to intervene now?” he asked him.

“What’s wrong with Baylee?” he asked as he took him away from his wife’s arms.

“I want my mommy…” Baylee said sobbing as he pointed to the door.

“He’s really hot…” Howie said as he touched Baylee’s forehead. “I think he has a fever…” he was about to knock on the door when it flew open and there stood Leighanne.

“What’s wrong baby?” she asked as she took Baylee from Howie’s arm. “Oh my god he’s really hot…he has a fever.” She kissed his forehead, “its ok mommy has you… I need kid’s Tylenol” she said as she gave Jared a look.

“I’m on it,” was all Jared said as he walked away.

“Leighanne you can’t…” Brian stopped talking when he saw who all stood there. “What’s wrong with Baylee?” he asked as he tried to approach him and Leighanne only to have her move away from him.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Leighanne said as she continued to hold on to her son. “Leigh, Howie is it ok if I stay with you tonight? Or maybe if I can get a room for us…just for tonight?” she asked Howie.

“Leighanne you can stay with Leigh tonight and try to get Baylee to feeling better…I can stay with Brian. We have to talk anyway…” Howie said as he turned to look at Brian. He looked so worried and in pain knowing he couldn’t even get close to his son.

*****Brian’s POV******

Leighanne wasn’t going to forgive me that easy, I knew that. But I don’t what Kevin told her because I least she didn’t leave like her intentions were. Instead she told me get my feelings straighten out, “Choose,” I remember clearly her telling me as we waited patiently in the hospital. See it turns out that my son’s fever was more than just a common flu symptom. I was just glad she had allowed me to be there, even if Baylee still did not allow me to be near him. It killed me to see him smile with his uncles except for me. Even with the fever he smiled for them all, yet with me he grew quiet.

By then Kevin had already called me and well what can I say I had gotten he lecture of my life. I came clean with and told him everything but to him all of that was bull. “You can’t just let stuff like this get to you…if you love her fight for her.” His words kept going through my head as I watched how tender and caring Leighanne was with our son. She truly was the woman for me, I was determined to do just that fight for her and my son.

Now Leighanne stayed because one she told me she cared for the fellas and knew how this whole mess would affect them. Two because she had come to her senses or more like Kevin had gotten to her and she knew that Baylee was mine too. I needed to be there for him at this moment, he was going through so many tests to find what was causing him to feel like he was. But I felt that there was more to her decision she still loved me, just like I did. She was giving me a chance to win her back, I could see in her eyes as she stared at me from where she sat close to our son’s bed in the hospital.

Sleepless nights in the hospital and a small hope that maybe Leighanne would forgive me. I was restless and most of all I was worried that my son was going to be taken away from us so soon. I prayed like crazy that week and to be honest I felt relieved like now god knew I was sorry. He also had forgiven me or at least that’s how I felt. It wasn’t till a few days later when I suggested the doctors to do a certain test to Baylee’s heart and finally we had a diagnosis. Kawasaki disease… the good we had it discovered in time and he would be ok with the proper treatment.

I remember clearly that morning when the doctor walked into Baylee’s room with the diagnosis. I saw Leighanne begin to cry as they explained to us what Kawasaki disease was and then I saw her smile as the doctor told us he was going to be ok. For the first time since our dilemma she hugged me. A hug that I can’t explain but it told me she still cared for me. I held on to her as well realizing just how comforting her hugs were, how much I missed them. I missed everything even the simplest tap on my nose with her finger. Her head on my shoulder in the mornings, her intense stare when she wanted to make love. Shivers ran down me as I felt her in my arms, I really did love this woman.

The doctor told us to keep Baylee one more night in the hospital and then we could go back and join the guys on tour. That night I witnessed Leighanne tell Baylee that I loved him as much as she did and that I deserved his affection as much as she. I cried as I saw Baylee look at me for the first time since he’d seen Josie and I together. It was his little laughing stare and he said it “I love you daddy.” It felt like music to my ears and for the first time I walked up to him and kissed his forehead like I had always done. I don’t remember how many times I apologized to him. I had my son back at least in someway; I just needed my wife back. That night as I gave my sleeping son another kiss Leighanne spoke to me.

In a nut shell she was going to pretend everything between was good and when the press confronted us she did just that. I felt even worse because I knew every smile was killing her. But she did as promised and to the eyes of the world we were this happy couple, to the world I was still “Saint Brian” like AJ had called me. It only made me feel worse; soon we were back on tour.

To no avail though Leighanne finally had enough of pretending and she left back home. But not before making it clear that her plans were to get a divorce… I got on my knees and cried like never before. I told her I loved her and wanted to make it up to her. That only made her cry, she broke down in tears and with pain in her voice she told me she just couldn’t forgive me on this. I think in that instant I lost my will to continue to live and I just kept blaming myself for it. Then I remembered Kevin’s words…and without warning her I took her face in my hands leaned in and kissed. I kissed her passionately and lovingly I had to smile inside me when she didn’t pull back. She loved me she did and somehow inside I knew I had a chance. I just had to find a way back to her heart…What we had was not over!

“Just take care ok?” Brian told Nick as he walked out of the airport. “Yeah see you then…” He sighed as he put his cell phone in his pocket and walked out the airport and into the Enterprise right by the airport. He didn’t want to sound mean but it had come in good timing that both Nick and AJ had gotten sick. With there show canceled he had a chance to fly to Atlanta and grovel till he couldn’t no more to Leighanne.

“May I help you sir?”

“Yes I like to rent a car for two days tops,” Brian said smiling at the young lady that was there. After making sure he had an insurance policy and his key he walked to where his Nissan Xterra was parked. He sighed as he turned the ignition on and began to drive to his once peaceful home. His favorite place to be when not at work; forty five minutes later there he was pulling into the driveway. He couldn’t help but smile as he was flooded with the memories of him at home playing with Baylee while Leighanne fixed dinner. “Here goes nothing,” he said to himself as he opened the door to his rental. He walked to the door and retained himself from just going in. He pushed the doorbell and waited for Leighanne to answer.

******

Leighanne kissed her sons forehead as she laid him on his bed. He was exhausted from his day with Tim his play buddy when he was in Atlanta. She looked around the house she had learned to love to so much. This house had so many memories of her with her family…a family that was no more. “Why?” she asked to herself as she came across of a picture of the three of them. As much as she wanted to close her eyes and pretend none of this had happened it had. It was killing her because that man had been her everything for so long now and she honestly didn’t understand how she had lost Brian. She was brought out of her thoughts by the doorbell. “Coming,” she said she walked into the foyer.
.
“May I come in?” Brian asked as he looked at Leighanne. She looked gorgeous even if she did have an apron on. The smell of the chocolate chip cookies hit his nose bringing him memories of those days in which the whole family would bake the cookies.

“I suppose you can since this is still you house, I hope you’ve come to pack your stuff. Wai-…” she was silenced by Brian’s lips on hers. She couldn’t help but moan he was a great kisser but then the picture of him kissing Josie gave her the strength to push him away. “You have no right Brian, you lost long time ago,” she told him as she wiped her mouth “What do you want?”

“You and Baylee…I want my family back!” he said as he faced her again. “Look Leighanne I know I screwed up but you have at least let me prove that I am sorry. I can’t live without. I need you…” he told as he dared caress her cheek.

His eyes had turned a dark blue as he spoke to her and she couldn’t deny that her will to resist all his apologies was running thin. But if there was one thing she was sure of was she didn’t want to make it seem easy. She had thought a lot about it and the truth was Brian did love her as much as she loved him, but she was definitely going to put him to the test. “No Brian,” she told him moving away from his touch. “Now I need you to leave or if not I will… you can’t stay here. Baylee is asleep so if you want to see him it has to be tomorrow. Wait aren’t you suppose to be performing in Vegas?”

“Pleas Leighanne I’ll stay in a guest room…Nick is sick so we postponed the show.” He said rubbing the back of his neck. “Why can’t I stay here…are you afraid of me coming onto you?” he asked trying to be funny only to get serious again as he saw the look on Leighanne’s face.

“No I’m not afraid of you…I am afraid of what I might do to you if you stay here. I don’t think me being in jail for life and you dead will help Baylee out at all.” She told him trying to intimidate the man she loved, because inside his comment made her smile.

“Fine I go stay at a hotel but I would like to see my son before I head out again and join the tour. Please don’t leave till I see him tomorrow…” he said as he looked up the stairs to where Baylee’s room was. “Can I give him a kiss good night?” Brian asked giving his wife a weak smile.

“He’s upstairs hurry it’s getting late; I need you out of here so I can set the alarm.” Leighanne said as she pointed to the staircase.

*********

She double checked the address on the sticky note to the house she was staring at. “This is it...” Josie said as she suddenly caught glimpse of someone exiting the house. “It’s Brian?” she asked herself as she ducked down the car seat so she wouldn’t be noticed. She smiled as her plans changed, “Never mind plan B it is.” She turned on her ignition and followed Brian to wherever he was going. She was finally going to get her chance, “He needs to know that I am his true love,” Josie said as she saw where Brian had turned to.

Brian turned off the ignition, grabbed his bag and walked in to the lobby to check in. “Hello one room please, for tonight only.” He told the man that was at the desk.

“May I see your ID and how will you be paying?” the young man asked as he looked at the man in front of him.

“yeah here you go,” Brian handed over his driver license and credit card.

“Oh my god Mr. Littrell my wife is a big fan of yours…she plays your CD everyday. But she also likes it when you sing with the Backstreet boys as well. Wait a minute don’t you have a house here sir?” the man said as he smiled his best, realizing who was there.

“Yeah but, its under some construction so since I am the only in town I went ahead and came here. The family is out of town visiting relatives,” he smiled and swallowed a big lump as he realized he was lying. The truth was he had been thrown out of his own home for being unfaithful.

“Oh well I hope you enjoy your stay sir, do you need help with your luggage? I’m Billy by the way…at your service.” Billy extended his hand.

“No I’m good Billy, but thanks and I will leave you an autograph for that wife of yours.” Brian told the very nice man as he shook his hand.

A few minutes later there he was in his room; he laid on the bed just staring at his hand. The wedding band that stood there, “I can’t loose you Leighanne” he whispered to himself as he played with the wedding band. He was curious to see if Leighanne still wore hers. He was a little hungry so he finally ordered room service, “Yes can I have a nice burger and maybe a coke with lots of ice please,” he said to the who ever was taking his order. After he was sure of his order he went for a well deserved shower.

********

Brian felt a little refreshed after the nice shower and with hopes of a better chance tomorrow to win Leighanne’s heart. He had called and told her where he would be at just in case there was an emergency during the night. What he really wanted was for her to show up and tell him she loved him and to go back home with her. That was what he wished for the most.

He was about to lay back down when there was a knock on the door, “Yes my food is here,” Brian said as he went to open the door. “Thank you…what are you doing here?” he said anger suddenly rising up his chest.

“Surprise! Nice to see you too baby,” Josie said as she made her way in. “We need to talk Brian,” Josie said as she took a seat on his bed.

“There is nothing to talk about Josie, you ruined my life the last thing I want to do is talk to you. Leave me alone,” Brian told Josie as he ran his hands through his wet hair.

“I love you Brian, Leighanne is not going to forgive you Brian just give me the chance. I promise I won’t allow you to miss her. We can fight for Baylee’s custody and then we can try to have our own babies.” Josie told Brian as she watched in awe, the man was positively gorgeous.

“No, no Josie I can’t I don’t love you like that, how in the world did you find me?” Brian asked as Josie kneeled in front of him hold on to his feet.

“I was actually here to Leighanne and apologize to her. I wanted her to know that I didn’t want it to happen but that you loved me now to let you go.” Josie told Brian with tears running down her face. “We belong together Brian,” she told him in hysterics

Leighanne laid on her bed just staring at her wedding band; she still didn’t have the guts to take it off. “What should I do?” she asked herself as she twisted her wedding band around her finger. By then she was crying tears streaming down her face, she was in agony trying to be reasonable yet not be too angry to not see the right path to this whole situation.

“Mommy?” Baylee said as he walked into the room that was once shared by both his parents. “I can’t sleep,” he said as he rubbed his eyes. He gave her a lopsided smile as he struggled to climb up the bed.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” she asked him as she helped him up the bed. The first thing she did was make sure he had no fever.

“Why are you crying mommy?” he asked her kissing her cheek and wiping her tear stained cheeks.

“It’s nothing sweetie, how about I tell you a bedtime story? You can sleep with me if you want…” Leighanne told him as she realized just how much her son resembled the man she loved.

“I don’t want to sleep…are you crying because of daddy? Is it cause of what I told you about him and Josie?” Baylee asked with a curious face looking straight at his mother.

“Baylee you did nothing wrong ok? Now why can’t you sleep.” She asked him as she pulled him close to her.

“Mommy was daddy here?” he asked as he began to play with her hair a habit he had.

“Yes, he went up to give you a kiss good night earlier when you were asleep.” Leighanne said holding her tears from starting to come out again.

“Why did he not stay here? Is he back with my uncles on tour? Cause I wanted to play with him basketball…” the little boy said.

“Well he will come back tomorrow morning before he goes back on tour baby. He went to stay at a hotel,” Leighanne said realizing there was no way out of telling her son the situation between her and his father.

“Why is he at a hotel mommy?” Baylee asked as he pulled away from his mother’s arms and sat up staring straight at her.

“Well sweetie daddy and I are not getting along at the moment. But we are working on it,” she told him reaching for him and kissing his forehead.

“You know mommy I think you’re crying because you miss daddy. You always tell me forgive and forget why can’t you and daddy do that?” Baylee told his mother crossing his little arms yet giving her a smirk.

Leighanne had to laugh at her sons advice, “You’re too wise for you age Baylee,” she told him messing with his curls. “But sometimes big people have bigger problems honey that sometimes can’t be forgiven and forgotten. But that my dear you will learn about when you’re older.”

“Mommy I didn’t tell you something that day because you started to cry remember?” Baylee said as he sat on his mom’s lap.
“I’m sorry about that honey…” she told him. “You can tell me now,” she told him expecting the worse.

“Daddy was mad at Josie and he pushed her hard, like this!” Baylee said and demonstrated it to his mother. “That’s why I got mad at daddy cause he never got like that before it was scary. I didn’t like what Josie said it mommy…”

Leighanne stared at her son and his expressive way of telling her what had occurred, “Thanks sweetie for telling me the rest.” She smiled at him and then it her…”Why do we go get daddy? He can sleep with you and that you can have breakfast with him.” Maybe she too could talk him now that she realized that just maybe Brian was being honest all along. But that still didn’t make him innocent he had kissed her. Just maybe there was a chance.

“Yeah mommy lets go, I can show him my new book too.” Baylee said excited.

“Ok let’s go,” Leighanne said with a new ray hope in her heart. Maybe her marriage could be saved.

********

“If I had any respect for you Josie, it’s been way lost. I don’t want to see you, I love Leighanne…” Brian said as he pulled Josie from him and shook her.

“Please Brian; your marriage is long gone. I deserve you…you were so nice to me and it felt so good. You seduced me and then you throw me out!” she said suddenly her tears turning to anger.

“I seduced you? Now that’s funny…I did no such thing it was on the contrary now that I remember they way you looked at me. But Josie let me clue you in; no one can get me to leave Leighanne. My marriage is going to rough patch because of you but…we are going to get through it. Now I want you out! Or I will call management and pursue legal actions against you. God Josie why can’t you for once try to do the right thing. You don’t have to be this tough woman, if you showed other men what you tried to show me before you became…malevolent maybe you could find someone. There are plenty of men out there that have same or even better qualities than me,” Brian said in frustration.

Josie looked down and for a second felt guilty… “I can never be good as Leighanne I was born and brought up this way. When I want something I fight for it and usually I succeed.”

“Well then I think you should go and get used to the idea that this time you didn’t get it your way. It saddens me to know this, when you are capable of being very nice.” Brian told Josie as he walked to the door after hearing the knock. “My food is here, Josie please go and never come near me or my family. It’s best that way,” Brian said as he opened the door. “Thank you,” he told the man that had brought up his food this looks good. He gave him a tip and then turned to Josie. “Well?” he said still holding the door open for her.

“No,” Josie said. “Please Brian… I love you!”

“I don’t love you though! So go I will call security…” he said grabbing the phone.

“No…fine but when Leighanne doesn’t forgive you don’t come crawling to me! I would have given you everything…” she said as she wiped away her tears.

Brian smiled inside as he finally heard her agree he gladly opened the door from his hotel and to his horror there stood Leighanne with Baylee by her side. “Daddy!” Baylee said reaching for him.

“Leighanne before you think the worst you have –,” he stopped talking when he saw Leighanne’s face change from a smile to one of anger.

“Oh hey Baylee,” Josie said in a cheerful way as she walked up behind Brian wrapping her arm around him only to have Brian push it away.

Leighanne sighed and counted to ten to keep her cool in front of her son. “I think we came in a bad time sweetie daddy is busy. I wouldn’t bother going by tomorrow Brian we won’t be there,” Leighanne said as she began to walk away.

“No, Leighanne wait…” Brian screamed as he began to follow her but not before turning around and giving Josie a piece of his mind. “Josie you better not be in my room when I come back because I will not respond in a nice way. Leave before I change my mind and…” he balled his hand into a fist and then turned back to following Leighanne.

Leighanne was running back to her car not wanting to be seen crying, “No!” Leighanne responded to Brian’s plea to stop. Finally she saw her car, quickly unlocked it and put Baylee in his seat giving Brian enough time to catch up.

“Leighanne its not what your thinking…please.” Brian said as he stopped talking to get some air.

“No Brian I’ve seen enough…I was such a fool to think that maybe you really didn’t love but this just proves I was right.” Leighanne said as she opened the driver’s side, turned on the ignition and sped away.

********

Brian walked back to his room not caring if anyone saw his tears. He sighed in relief when he saw that Josie was not there grabbing his cell phone he dialed the oh so familiar number… “Howie I messed up again.”

Brian hugged his cousin like he never had before, “I don’t think I can live without them,” he told Kevin as he finally let go of him.

“I still can’t believe she had the decency to follow you! Look Brian you have to toughen up, take the matters in you hand. Win her back…show her how happy she was with you. Whatever you do don’t give up…that’s the worst you could do. I know Leighanne enough to know that if you do give up easily she will think you actually felt something for that bitch! Pardon my language,” Kevin said as he watched his cousin. He looked sad and he wasn’t as goofy as before. “Now right you’re going to perform so take a deep breath and put your family problems aside. Be the Brian all the fans know,” he patted Brian on the shoulder.

“Your right my fans don’t need to see me in this state,” Brian told Kevin as he took a deep breath and did a small prayer. “Let’s go…your coming on stage with us still right?”

“Of course only in the end for Shape of my heart, for now I will watch you all perform without me,” Kevin told him just as he felt little Mason grab a hold of his leg. “Hey little buddy where’s mommy?” he asked him as he took him in his arms.

“Right here,” Kristen said as she made to them. “Hey Bri,” she said sympathetically as she gave him a hug.

“Hey Kris,” Brian said hugging.

“Now Mason come here, Leigh wanted to see you.” Kristen said as she took her son away from Kevin. “I’ll leave you to talk and we will talk later ok?” she told Brian as she walked away.

“Hey Bri, its time…” Nick said as he passed by not missing the opportunity to jump on Kevin surprising him. “I so miss pulling pranks on you Kev,” he said laughing as he ran away from him before Kevin could react.

“I’m going to get you Nick,” Kevin screamed as he laughed. Yeah that was what he missed the fun times with the guys but yet he was still very happy with his decision to move on with out BSB in his life. Most of all he was happy that his brother’s were all ok with his decision. “Are you good?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later ok,” Brian said giving him a weak reassuring smile.

*******

“Man did you see the fans, Kev you sure you don’t want to come back?” AJ said as he jumped around he was still pretty pumped from the concert.

“It brought back old memories I can say that, but I’m good AJ,” Kevin said putting his arms around him. “How you’ve been?” he asked him realizing he really hadn't talked to the other guys. He had been so concerned with his cousin.

“Taking it day by day…” AJ said smiling at him. “Let’s go eat?” he said out loud to the rest of the group.

“Oh, that does sound good…” Nick said.

“Well then lets go…” Howie said as he agreed it would be great to go out and eat all five of them again.

“Come Bri, like old times.” Kristen said as he stood beside a quiet Brian. “We can talk on the way over to wherever we’re going. I spoke to Leighanne a few days ago…” Kristen told Brian as he finally looked a little interested with the conversation.

********

“Ok I’m here what is so important?” Brian said as he walked into Nick’s office.

“I was going through some stuff and came up with a great idea…” Nick said looking up from his computer. “Now I was thinking we can work on this during thanksgiving and then send it to Leighanne before Christmas.”

“what are you talking about Brian said as he walked toward his younger friend.” he looked at what Nick was talking about. It was photos of his wedding and many other things. There were also videos of the many places they had visited during the years. “I still don’t get what you’re implying,” Brian told his friend.

Nick shook his head and walked out his office only to return with a video camera in hand. “Ok Mr. Littrell thank you for accepting my invitation and allowing me to interview you. Now I understand you have an amazing story about your life you would like to share…” Nick said in his best host voice looking into his camera, he then turned it to face Brian. “Well start Brian, this is seriously on.”

“Ah, I get it…ok” Brian cleared his throat, “Ok this so going to be edited. Well yes I do it’s the story of the best miracle to ever happen to me. Her name Leighanne Wallace.”

“Ok cut,” Nick said. “I didn’t like it we’ll try it again. But I was thinking we could also maybe add some footage from all the videos and pictures.”

“I like the idea and maybe I can sing her our wedding song with my guitar at the end.” Brian said getting a little excited with the idea.

“Yeah that sound good and very you so smoochy smoochy…” Nick said giving his friend a roll of eyes.

“What? I want to see you when you’re head over heels for a girl and I mean an honest to good girl not some blonde bimbo.” Brian said smiling knowing very well that made Nick mad.

“Ok you keep that up and you will not only be doing this on your own but in a hotel room.” Nick said in a stern voice. “I’ve changed ok stop bringing up that. Now lets get started we have a lot of work to do and I want to have most of it done before thanksgiving…”

“Ok deal. So where do we start?” Brian asked giving Nick an honest smile. “Nick what would I do without you? Only you would come up with something like this, thanks man.”

“Awe your so sensitive Brian, but right use all that on this video. So take two!” Nick yelled as he turned on the camera again.

*********

“Hey Baylee,” Brian said into the phone as he heard his son’s voice. “Happy thanksgiving.”

“Hey daddy…happy thanksgiving too. I had turkey and mashed potatoes and lots of stuff,” Baylee said into the phone his mother had just handed him.

“Your having fun at grandma’s house aren’t you?” Brian asked his son, he had learned that Leighanne had planned to spend Thanksgiving with her family.

“Yes.” Baylee said as he watched his mother just staring at him.

“Tell daddy you love him but you have to go…come on.” Leighanne told Baylee as she looked at him with anguish. Her son was now put in a position she never thought he would be put through.

Brian could hear Leighanne tell Baylee to end the conversation, “Hey Baylee its ok I have to go too…but I love you buddy and boy do I have a surprise for you for Christmas.”

“What is it daddy?” Baylee asked as his eyes widen at his father’s mention of a present.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you Baylee. Now Baylee do me a favor you give your mommy a big hug and big, I mean big kiss for me. Now Baylee you tell her this...Daddy loves you forever. Can you do that for me?” Brian asked his son.

“Uhuh yes daddy I will…I will let you go daddy I’m going to play with my cousins. I love you,” Baylee said as he smiled at his mother.

“Alright Baylee you be careful and you listen to mommy. I love you too son, don’t forget what I asked you to do ok?” Brian said holding his sudden feeling of crying.

“Ok I won’t love you.” Baylee said handing the phone back to his mother.

Leighanne didn’t even bother to see if he was still on the phone she just hung up and gave her son a smile. “So how is your daddy Baylee?”

Baylee shrugged and ran into her arms embracing his mother, “why didn’t you ask him?” he told her as he hugged.

Leighanne ignored his question and just hugged her son back. That’s when Baylee gave her a kiss, “what was that for?” she asked giving him one back.

“That’s from daddy and so is the hug. He wants you to know he loves you forever and ever…” he said in a joyful tone. Once his job was done he squirmed his way out of his mother’s grip and ran out to play.

Leighanne just stood there letting what her son had said to her sink in, “I wish it were true,” she sighed as she walked back to the living where her family was enjoying there thanksgiving.

“Ok Baylee we’re here,” Leighanne told her son as she turned off the car. “Now we’re only going to be here for a little bit ok? Mommy is not feeling to good,” she told him as she helped him out the car. Chuck E cheese was almost empty and she spotted Baylee’s playmate already playing with his mother sitting in the nearby table.

“Can I go to where Tim is at mom?” Baylee asked as he pulled his hand from his mother’s grip. “Yeah ok,” she told him letting go of his hand. “Careful,” she told him a little louder since he was already running.

“Hey,” Jane said to Leighanne as she took a seat next to her. “How are you?”

“I could be better just trying to think…” Leighanne sighed. “I want to do the right thing, not only for me but for Baylee.”

“Well sooner or later you must talk to him and you must let him tell you his side. I know you said you saw her in his room that night but there is more to one side of that story.” Jane said as she looked at her friend, they had been friends for ever. High school friends and still very close, “Don’t look at me like that Leigh, I know him as just as much as you now. I just think there is more to this I saw the look on his face. Brian loves you…and there is no denying you still do.”

“Its not easy Jane he cheated on me,” Leighanne said a little frustrated with the conversation more because she knew her friend was right. “Sorry I have no right in venting out on you. I just don’t understand why he would even think about…I always stride to be a good wife even now! I mean I am playing a happy wife waiting for her husband to come back from his job, when it is not true. I am still pretending to be something I am not to protect his reputation, why?”

“Because you love him,” Jane told her giving her shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Yeah I do and with all my heart. He is and will always be my one true love. Maybe that’s why I haven’t asked for the divorce because I feel like one of these days I am going to wake up and everything will back to before that…” Leighanne sighed and kept herself from using foul language. “Thing came in and tore our bond,” she finished.

“Look just relax ok and lets focus on these two for now,” Jane said as she pointed to the two little boys that were running around like crazy. “We both know Baylee needs to feel normal and not see you like this.”

“Yeah your right, especially since I haven’t told him his daddy won’t be home for Christmas.” Leighanne said wiping away her tears.

“What? Why? Is he not coming? I mean for crying out loud it’s Christmas!” Jane said a little startled by the news.

“I was the one to ask him not to come,” Leighanne said in a stern voice. “He doesn’t deserve to be Baylee, besides I don’t think I could see him. I actually told him that he needed to start looking for a lawyer and work on our divorce. If he doesn’t I will as much I don’t want too…I just don’t think I can forgive him Jane.”

“This is BS…” Jane told her in a low whisper. “You know you love that man you just told me so a few minutes ago, now I think it is stupid that you are keeping Baylee away from him on such a special occasion such as Christmas.”

“Jane I wish you could be in my shoes and then I would like to see if you really would forgive Chris so easily if he did something like this to you!” Leighanne said frustrated.

“He did and I worked it out with him…” Jane said finally revealing something of her dark personal life to her friend. “Back when you had no time for your friends cause you were busy with Brian’s solo tour…I caught him with is secretary and it hurt me so bad. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill her too, but we talked it out it wasn’t a piece of cake but at the end I wanted my marriage to work. I didn’t want to be another one of those millions of single mom’s out there and I love Chris. Now of course our relationship is strong and you would think we never had an earthquake in our life. Leighanne its hard yes but fight for what you want? Do you really see yourself without Brian?”

Leighanne just stared at her friend, she was still a little shocked after her confession. She would have never thought that of Chris, let alone for Jane to have forgiven him. But maybe she was right you have to fight for you what you want and the truth was she wasn’t ready to live without Brian in her life. “I’ll think about it, we still have a week before Christmas.”

******

“We did great don’t worry,” Nick told Brian as he lay on the guest room bed where Brian was staying. “What I am worried is about you going all the way over there; she clearly told you not go. I think you should give her that, she needs time and she needs to see the DVD we made.”

“It’s Christmas Nick! I want to spend it with my family,” Brian said in frustration knowing that his friend was probably right. He knew it was his fault that all this was happening. He suddenly felt angry with himself and began to just throw his clothes however in his suitcase.

“Fine just be careful ok and if she doesn’t want you there you can always come back and spend Christmas with me ok?” Nick told his friend.

“Thanks Nick,” Brian said giving him a hug. “You deserve to find a great person you know and you are just as sensitive as me.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” Nick said rolling his eyes. “Let’s get you to the airport or you will not make for your flight.”

“I’ll be fine Nick, I’ll get there for Christmas Eve and she has to let me be there for my son at least.” Brian said as he climbed into Nick’s car. “Thanks Nick and I will see you after, we have South America to go too.”

“Yeah, I hope its not as crazy as the last time we went there remember?” Nick said trying to change the conversation and try to lighten Brian’s mood a little.

“Oh, yeah crazy but it gave me this rush it was incredible.” Brian said smiling as he remembered those days. “Do you think she already got the package?”

“I am sure she is watching at we speak,” Nick said as he heard Brian’s questions now he hoped it would get Leighanne to forgive him. Brian was not the same without Leighanne, he felt a little bad and sad for him. As much as he hated the fact that since Brian had gotten married they hadn't spent so much time together he knew Brian was happy. But now Brian wasn’t even happy.

*******

“Mommy tomorrow is Christmas and daddy is still not here.” Baylee said as he stood beside the Christmas tree.

“Baylee I already told you daddy can’t be here this year but he did send a present which you can open tomorrow.” Leighanne told her son as she felt bad for keeping her son from enjoying his Christmas like he had since he could remember.

“So he won’t be opening his presents?” Baylee asked.

Leighanne sighed and kissed her son, “Baylee we can call daddy,” she said hesitating in dialing his number. After a quick sigh she dialed and waited for an answer, to her dismay she got his voicemail. “It’s me I was calling cause Baylee wanted talk to you so if you can return the call so Baylee can talk to you it be nice.” She hung up and gave Baylee a sad look. “Sorry Baylee daddy didn’t answer; let’s see if he calls back.” Leighanne held her son till he dozed off; carefully she put him to bed and finally got the courage to open the package she had received from Nick.

She read the letter attached to the DVD and smiled, “how sweet of him to send Baylee and I a video and gifts.” She put the DVD into her DVD player and pushed play.

[TV]

“Hi Leighanne I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I’ve decided to show just how great you have fitted into the Backstreet family and we miss you. Also I had to bring in a very special person that at the moment is not himself he needs you. Brian come here,” Nick said….

Leighanne watched and was tempted to turn it off but was warned by nick not to do it. She was crying and was filled with the so many memories she had. It only made her realize that she did love Brian and maybe she could fight for what she wanted. She began to cry harder as Nick focus the camera on Brian. Brian held his guitar and looked straight into the camera.

[TV]

“Leighanne I can’t take back what I caused but I am very sorry about it. You can call me whatever you want I won’t care just take me back…I love you. You and Baylee mean the world to me and what I told you on September 2, 2000 is still true….” Brian said looking straight into the camera as he began to play the guitar…

Beautiful you are
Compassionate is she
You have made me what I am
She’s all I hope to be
The world relies in you for fulfilling all my dreams
She is my dream come true
And in just two words my destiny
Cause you are everything…
Everything my heart could ever imagine
Everything you are…

Leighanne was now in tears as she heard the song. The song he had sung for her on there wedding day. She continued to listen to him play as pictures of there wedding were shown. She had to hand to Nick for this idea; this was the last thing she needed to realize that she did want Brian. She couldn’t loose him she love him!

She was in trance with the video she didn’t hear the doorbell till the third time, by the video hand ended. “Coming,” she said wondering who it could be…

Leighanne opened the door and was not shocked to see Brian standing there. Tears began to fall down her face again, “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I am here to be with my family on Christmas,” Brian said walking in to the house. He dropped his luggage on the foyer and turned to face her, “are you not going to close the door?”

She did as she was told, she was still staring at Brian and his sudden new look. He looked tired and looked like he had lost some weight. But his sudden unclean face with all the stubble looked sexy, “I asked you not to come,” she finally told him.

“You can’t keep me away from my son,” he told her as he looked at her. “You look gorgeous,” he told he smiling at her.

“Well you better go find a hotel to stay in,” she told him ignoring his comment.

“Leighanne please,” he said in a whisper as he got near her. “I love you and will do anything to get you back.” He dared and touched her face her soft face. “I miss you,” he whispered to her as he inched closer to her.

As much as Leighanne wanted to run she couldn’t there she stood in anticipation. She wanted to feel his lips, she loved that man and there it was a small brush at first then he deepened the kiss. She closed her eyes as she allowed him to take full control; he was even holding her now close to him. “I realized I can’t live without you either,” she said between the kisses. “I need you,” she said to him as he hugged onto him. She inhaled his smell his so familiar smell.

Brian hugged her back not wanting to let her go, “I’m not going anywhere Leighanne your all I need,” he told her in her ear. “I’m so sorry for the agony I cost you, stay assured it won’t happen again.”

She put her finger on his mouth, “No don’t bring that up again. We are starting anew Brian and I never want to hear you mention this. We’re going to make it, because I love you.” she kissed him this time.

“Ok,” he managed to say as he kissed her.

“Baylee is in for the surprise of his life when he wakes up and finds his daddy here.” Leighanne told him as she took him by the hand.

He allowed her to take him wherever and after she was sure everything was off she led him to there room. The room they had shared for years now, “I missed this room,” he told her as he walked in slowly like it was sacred.

“Let’s go to bed,” she told him as she walked to her closet and pulled her and him a pair of pajamas. She even dared and changed in front him like before, “Don’t look,” she said blushing a little.

“You’re beautiful,” he told her as he did the same.

“Tonight I just want you to hold me,” she told him as she kissed him again.

“That’s all I want to do hold you forever,” he said to her as they climbed into bed. Leighanne did just like she had told him she cuddled in his arms, “I love you,” he whispered into her ear and then began to hum to her there wedding song.

********

“Good morning Bay,” Brian told his son as he walked into the kitchen. “Merry Christmas,” He said and extended his hands.

“Daddy you made it,” Baylee said running into his dads arms. “Where’s mommy?” he asked.

“She is still sleeping, so I’m making breakfast.” Brian said as he kissed his son.

“No lets go open the presents,” Baylee said giving his dad a grin.

Brian laughed and held his son tight; suddenly he felt his heart tug. He couldn’t believe how close he was of loosing him, “We should wait for mommy to wake up, why don’t you help me make breakfast?”

“Mmmm it’s smells good in here,” Leighanne said as she walked into the kitchen. She laughed as she saw her to boys in the kitchen making pancakes well more like maps.

“Merry Christmas mommy,” Baylee said as he walked over to her giving her a kiss. “Now can we open the presents?”

“Why not?” Leighanne said as she walked to Brian and gave him a hug. “We can eat later,” she told him as she took his hand. Both of them laughed as they saw Baylee run toward the Christmas tree.

“Merry Christmas,” Brian whispered into Leighanne’s ear as he held her from walking toward Baylee and the tree. “Thank you for giving me this chance you won’t regret it.”

“I know…Merry Christmas Brian.” She gave him a quick peck and then ran to where Baylee was busy already opening the presents.

*********

“You won’t regret hiring me,” Josie told her new boss. She had finally gotten the job in a nice hair salon in downtown LA.

“We’ll see you here tomorrow then Monticello,” Johnny told her new hair stylist. He always liked to help out new people in his city, besides she looked like a descent hair stylist she had style. She was going to bring in a new fresh look for the clients.

“Yes, tomorrow. Again thanks,” Josie said as she walked out of the salon. She smiled as she saw the busy streets. She had moved to LA for the sole purpose of trying to start anew and forget the damage she had caused to the one man she had truly loved. She had finally realized that Brian was never going to see her even as a friend and she deserved it. Well it was going to be new page for her and maybe she would try to change her attitude. At least she had found a job now and while most salons would be closed they would be opened up till almost New Years Eve.

*******

Brian was elated and could not hide his smile as he walked hand in hand with his wife. They had just arrived to LA where they would be spending New Years with Kevin and of course more family. “I love you,” he told his wife as he squeezed her hand. Everything was going to be ok, after a nice Christmas. Leighanne talked and let out all her anger followed by a big night of making out amongst other things.

“I love you,” she told him back as they saw Kevin already waiting for them. “Hey,” she told him as she gave Kevin a hug.

“I’m glad to see you two together again the way its suppose to be,” Kevin told her as he hugged his cousin and then his nephew. “Let’s go Kris is ready to see you all.”
Life was good at the moment and Brian was happy he had his family back. All the guys had kept texting him about how happy they were for him. Nothing could spoil this moment and he was determined to make this work. “Let’s go I am ready to have a family filled event,” Brian said as he followed his cousin to his car.

“To a new year and a fresh new start,” Kevin said as he raised his champagne glass.

“To family as well,” Brian said as he raised his glass with the rest of his family.

Leighanne smiled as she basked in the New Year’s party with just family. “I love you,” she whispered to her husband as she took a sip of her champagne glass.

Brian smiled at his wife and signaled her to follow him, “come lets go to the patio,” he told her when she was by his side.

“Ok,” Leighanne to her husband as they discreetly left the crowded living room where all the family was. “It’s a little windy today,” she said as the air hit her.

“Come here,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her resting his chin in the crook of her neck and shoulder. “I want you and Baylee to go with me to South America. After that Mexico and then I want us to take a family vacation to wherever you want.”

“I didn’t plan to stay; from now on I want to be with you. I want us to communicate even more than before Brian.” She told him as she got comfortable in his arms.

“Ok,” he told her kissing her on the neck. “I love you…” he told her as he turned her so she was facing him. Brian smiled at her and then he took her lips with his.

“I love you too,” she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “So can I know what your new year’s resolution is?”

“Can I know yours?” he asked her.

“I asked first,” she told him with a smirk on her face.

He smiled at her, “If I tell you it might not work,” he kissed her again.

“There you are,” Kevin said as he stopped in his tracks, “I’ll just go back in,” he said with a smirk on his face. “You guys are not here,” he said as he turned around to walk back inside.

“No it’s ok,” Leighanne said as she blushed. “Let’s go back in,” she told Brian as she pulled him with her.

*****

“Are you sure?” Leighanne asked Kristen as she held to Baylee’s hand. “It won’t be to much to handle?”

“I’ll be fine, now you and Brian go have a little time alone. Kevin and I will keep Baylee right Kev?” Kristen as her husband who was busy tying Mason’s shoes.

“Yeah its cool,” Kevin said as he picked Mason up and gave Leighanne a reassuring smile.

“Yes mommy I want to go with Uncle Kevin,” Baylee told his mom.

“Ok but if it gets out of hand you’ll call me right?” Leighanne asked.

********

“Brian?” Leighanne whispered into her sleeping husband’s ear. “Wake up,” she smiled when she heard Brian moan.

“Five more minutes,” Brian demanded from his wife who was gently shaking him. He hadn't been sleeping well and then last’s night’s party well more like till the morning had not helped. “Ok fine I’m up…” he told her as he turned and pulled her to him.

“Brian!” Leighanne laughed as she struggled to get away from his grip. “I have a nice day planned out for us since Baylee has decided to spend the day with his Uncle Kevin so let’s go,” she told him finally breaking free.

“Yeah where are we going,” he asked as he got up and walked to the restroom.

“The beach,” she said a little loud so he could hear since the faucet was on. “I know that most likely it will be empty but that will make it much better for us.”

“Ok,” Brian said coming out of the restroom looking more alive. “So I guess that means I should wear shorts?”

“Yes whatever you want,” Leighanne said as she watched Brian get dressed. She was admiring her husband and she realized then she had the right thing in forgiving him.

“Stop staring at me like that or we won’t make it to the beach,” Brian told her as he gave her grin.

Leighanne laughed and stood up, “Well then let’s go,” she told him as she grabbed what she had prepared while he slept.

“Oh a picnic at the beach,” He said as he helped her with the stuff.

“Yep, now let’s go Kristen lend us her car.” She told him as they exited Kevin’s house.

*******

Josie squirmed her toes into the sand taking in the sunny day. “What a way to pass New Year’s” she said to herself as she continued her path. The beach was not so packed and that made it better for her to think. She could still not forget him, he was in her blood. Why hadn't she met him before? Could she find someone like him? So many things to think about that she didn’t notice she had wondered to a more secluded area. She smiled as she saw a couple enjoying time alone. She watched them kiss and feed each other food, why couldn’t she find someone like that. As she got closer though she realized, that it wasn’t just any random couple. “Brian?” she whispered as she continued watch them.

“I Love you,” Brian told his wife as he leaned in and kissed her. “I was thinking…” he told her giving her a grin. “That Baylee seems lonely,” he told her taking her hand in his.

“Oh, I know what your thinking,” she told him as she suddenly felt flushed. “I don’t know about that I mean I will be the fat whale not you…” she told him laughing.

“It would be nice, maybe have the little girl. Our little Kimberly…” he told her as there eyes locked.

“A little girl huh? What if god sends us a boy instead?” she asked him.

“Well then we’ll just have to keep trying to we get our Kimberly…” he told her with a goofy grin. “No just kidding well if god blesses us with another little boy than so be it I will still love him with all my heart.”

She looked at him and grinned, “I guess we can try…” she told him surprising with a kiss.

“Really?” he asked her happiness and excitement in his voice.

“Yes why not? I not getting younger.” she told him.

“Alright,” he said pulling her up in his arms. “So we are officially trying?” he asked her as he stopped twirling her around.

“I guess so,” she told him that’s when she caught a glimpse of someone staring at them. “I think we should stop, we have an audience.” She whispered into his ear. “Behind that rock,” she told him.

“Do you think its paparazzi?” he asked her trying to be subtle as turned toward the rock.

“No maybe a fan?” she told him as she began to put all the things back into the basket. “We should go,” she told him.

“Hang let me go see who it is…” he told her as she began to walk toward the huge rock.

“Brian,” Leighanne whispered as she ran after him. “I don’t want to stay alone,” she told him.

It didn’t take long for Brian to see the mysterious person running, without thinking about his safety he ran after her? “Stop, wait we won’t hurt you just stop ok…” he yelled as he felt Leighanne right behind him. He sighed in relief when the woman stop and they slowly approached her. He stopped in his step when he recognized the tattooed arms.

“Josie?” Leighanne asked startled to be face to face the one woman she did not want to see ever. “You are following my husband!”

Josie froze then and for once wanted to say that yes she was following Brian but in end why if Brian would only hate her more… “No no no,” Josie said stuttering. “I live here now and I was just walking here in the beach… I happen to wonder here. I don’t mean any harm. I have done enough to be destined to hell,” she bit her lip as she stared in fear of not being able to stop staring at Brian.

“I am supposed to believe that?” Brian said anger clear in his voice. “I warned you the time Josie… I would call the authorities.” His arm automatically finding Leighanne’s waist.

“I swear I was leaving when I realize who you two were,” Josie said finally looking up with anguish look.

“Oh don’t give us that stupid look Josie! You don’t deserve pity from us, especially me! I had trusted you and all along you kept putting us apart. Everything I confided in you told Brian in a twisted way making him doubt about my love for him…how could you? No wait you don’t have a heart… and Baylee what did you have to drag him into this? I was your friend,” Leighanne finished taking a step toward her ignoring Brian’s sudden tighten grip.

“I never said I was nice! But I do regret after my actions now that I’ve seen what it has caused…but that doesn’t stop the feelings I have your hus…I mean Brian. I am being honest today though I am leaving and you won’t see me again. I tried to be good and be your friend Leighanne god knows I tried to push away the yearning I had for Brian because of you and Baylee. Time is all I want know to yank him out of my heart, please let me go.” She said a little on guard after Leighanne’s sudden forwardness.

“I – leave now!” Brian said looking away from Josie’s intense stare. He hated her but he also felt sorry for her. “Let’s sweetie,” he said to his wife on purpose kissing her on the lips.

“Yeah lets go, stay away I won fair and square. You had many chances to change his mind but he never took them. Josie if you come near my family again you will see the naughty side of me…” Leighanne said before she followed her husband’s persistent pulling back to where they had just been.

“Yes you won fair and square,” Josie said bitterly and turned to walk the opposite way.

********

Leighanne had allowed Brian to drive back to Kevin’s she was just to mad to think about driving. “I should’ve punched her or something I wanted too.”

Brian smiled and spoke, “that would’ve been a nice scene but…remember revenge is not for us to take in our own hands. Now if you want to use your naughty side on me well…” he grinned at her.

Leighanne laughed at his comment, “Hmmm… I’ll think about it.” She told him taking one of his hands in hers. “I love you… and I won’t loose you. Your mine.”

Brian smiled and looked at her one more time, “I love you and you won’t loose me. I’ve learned my lesson Leighanne.” He shivered as Leighanne’s words claiming him echoed in his head.

She smiled at him and as he continued to drive…she had new plans brewing her head now about what exactly she had to do so that she won’t be in danger of ever loosing him. Leighanne was determined this time to protect her family. “Looks like they are already home,” she said breaking the silence.

“Yeah…” Brian said eyeing his wife. “You ok? I want you to know that I am just as upset as you are about her…showing up. I love you and only you.”

“I’m fine now,” she told him leaning in to kiss him on the mouth first lightly but then very passionate.

*******

“I’m a little nervous,” Leighanne said as she stepped out of the elevator with Brian beside her.

“Oh come on its just Nick, AJ and Howie.” Brian said lightly rubbing her arm up and down.

“Yeah but I wasn’t so nice with Nick the last time or the rest for not telling me about…” she trailed off not wanting to remember that.

“Beside its going to be short meeting to arrange the flights and all that good about the tour for Latin America. I should learn some Spanish,” he said making her a funny face to lighten up the mood. “The guys understand,” he finally said

“It still is nerve wrecking,” Leighanne said stopping to fix Brian’s hair. “There much better,” she told him.

“I love you,” he whispered into her ear as they stood in front the glass doors where his friends sat waiting just for them. He opened the door for her and walked behind her. “Hello,” he said as the all eyes were on them.

“Leighanne,” Nick said going to her for a hug. “Glad to see you.”

“Yeah we are,” AJ said also going for a hug.

“Leighanne I guess I should have a hug too,” Howie said hugging after AJ and then he spoke, “Leigh and I are expecting…she is excited to share that with you.”

“What? Wow congratulations Howie,” Leighanne said turned to Brian… “You didn’t tell me?”

“Well Howie wanted to tell you so I just had to obey.” He smiled at his wife… “You have to give Leigh good tips on the whole pregnancy thing.”

“Well we can talk more about this later we have tour to plan,” Jenn said as she walked into the room hugging Leighanne. “I’m glad to you see you again and happy.” She told her as she handed the guys some documents. “You’re joining us in south America?”

“Yes she is,” Brian said smiling, god had allowed him to get a second chance and he was going to make it a good one.

**********

“Thanks for coming with me,” Leigh told Leighanne as the walked inside the mall.

“No problem I missed our little shopping trips. So do you know what you want to have?” Leighanne asked her smiling.

“I don’t care as long as she or he comes out healthy.” She laughed as she touched her still unnoticeable bump. “I think Howie would like a boy though…he is so excited. I just hope everything goes well I am a little nervous with the whole pregnancy thing.”

“Don’t worry you will soon see how wonderful it is and you get to eat whatever you want without worrying about looking fat,” Leighanne said with a smirk on her face. “Unless Howie is the one to get the cravings that is…” she laughed louder, “imagine Howie eating the pickles and ice cream? All the odd cravings you get…I can just imagine his face.”

“Yeah that would be a very interesting scene,” Leigh said. “How are you though? I know this must have been a difficult choice.”

Leighanne sighed, “Well it was and at one point was determined to let him go but then I realized I loved him to much too just give up like that and Baylee needs his daddy.”

“Leighanne he loves you too. I saw the pain this caused him too he blamed himself a lot and the truth is that all this really is Josie’s fault. She’s the one to covet,” Leigh said smiling as she saw the food court. “It’s smells good, my smell sensors have sky rocketed since I learned I was pregnant.”

Leighanne laughed, “yeah that will go on through the whole pregnancy, lets go see what we can find to eat,” they walked in silence, she was still smiling because in a way Leigh was right Josie was the one to want her husband when she knew he was not available.

********

Brian carried a sleeping Baylee in his arms, this felt right… “Are you ok?” he asked his quiet wife

“Yeah I’m fine just wondering when we will begin our effort to conceive Kimberly.” Leighanne laughed shyly as she opened the door to there hotel room.

Brian’s smiled brighten, “I guess we can start tonight and then we will be in South America where the weather and ambience should help,” he said as he put Baylee in his bed.

“You look so cute with Baylee in your arms,” Leighanne told him kissing his cheek.

“Wait till you see me with Kimberly in my arms,” he said wrapping his arms around her.

Leighanne giggled and kissed her husband, “So we are seriously we’re trying to get pregnant?”

“Yes…unless you are not ready?” Brian said a little worried.

“No I think we can start to try,” she told him capturing his lips with hers.

******Brian’s POV********

Only a few days before we headed to Latin America something happened that finally changed my perspective on people in general. I had honestly believed that Josie had been honest that day at the beach when we caught her watching us. Boy was I wrong and I also learned that I was too nice.

Leighanne had left to Georgia to get something’s ready for our trip so, I gladly accepted Nick’s invitation to stay with him. I was finally feeling like I had a grip of my life already knowing that Leighanne had forgiven me and that I was back where I was before Josie had stepped into it.

The days were spent rehearsing and getting ready to rock Latin America. We had not been to Latin America in a while and we were anxious to see how we would be received after such a long absence. I remembered clearly just how possessive and crazy our fans were from the last time.

It wasn’t till a particular day in which after talking to Leighanne who was to fly back from Georgia the next day that I felt uneasy. Somehow I felt like I was being watched… yet when I looked around I saw nothing. Yet the uneasiness continued to follow me as I went and did some shopping. I shrugged off my feeling till the end of my day.

I was heading back to Nick’s car he had lend it to me so I could go shopping that in peripheral vision someone caught my eye. I didn’t need to get a good glance till to know who it was. I sigh deeply trying to calm myself as I turned to face her. “Josie what are you doing?” I asked her as a glared at her.

“I was shopping here and I saw you so I had to say hi.” She told me with a smile, I almost believed it was just an innocent smile till she tried to hug me. “No Josie,” I stopped her and took a deep breath. “I thought you said you would stay away… I don’t want to get a restraining order on you Josie.” I said between gritted teeth.

I was surprised when she held her hands up in a surrendering form, “Sorry I forgot that I repulse you.” Her words were harsh something that I felt she did not need to say. She looked at me and suddenly I saw the tears threatening to come out of her eyes. “I want to know one thing though can you at least answer me that?” she asked me her lips quivering with every word.

I sighed and I knew I should have left but I am a sucker for emotional woman. I just get this lump in my throat and I just can’t be harsh. “Fine ask me,” I said but I was sure to show my frustration as I played with the keys in hand. I was not even looking at her I couldn’t because I would only feel guilty even if I knew it wasn’t my fault anymore. I had come clean and did not want anything to do with her anymore.

“Please let’s go get some coffee so we can talk better I promise I won’t do anything stupid I just want you to answer my question.” She begged me as she tried to take my hand which I quickly pulled away. “I rather not just ask me Josie…” I said in a demanding voice.

“Please,” she told me now she was sobbing so with a sigh of frustration I agreed. She kept insisting for me to have a coffee or something but I continued to make myself clear. I was just allowing her to ask me her damn question so I could go and get rid of her forever.

“No Josie just talk or I am out of here and if you come near me again I will get that restraining order.” I had to tell her with a warning voice when she continued to beg for me to get something to drink. She finally understood and shrugged as we both took a seat on a table out in the patio of the very popular coffee house.

“Fine…” she leaned in toward me I could smell her perfume. I swallowed hard as I saw her lips it reminded me of my horrible decisions from months prior. “I…” she sighed again I guess trying to find a way to ask me whatever she was trying to ask me. “Do you ever think that if you weren’t married you and I could have had something?”

As I heard her question I was perplexed! How could she even ask me that? “Josie I don’t know because I have never thought about that option… I have what I want and I am happy.” I told her as I made the attempt to stand up but her hand grabbed my arm quickly.

“Wait please I am not done,” she told me and let go of my hand when I sat back down. “I know but honestly Brian you didn’t ever feel anything for me at all? I thought we had bonded quite well… I just want to understand why it’s so hard for you to leave her if you fell for someone else.” She stammered as she played with her fingers.

I gasped and giggled at her comment, “Josie I only offered you friendship you took it the other way… I will tell you this again I love my wife and my son with all my heart and they are the ones that mean the most to me. I could never leave them! Get that in your head Josie…” I told her balling my hands into fists.

She let out a soft sob and then finally stared at me her black eyes piercing into mine. I had to swallow hard and felt a sharp stab of guilt in my gut; I had really messed with her feelings. She honestly thought I had fallen for her. I shook my head trying to not feel guilty for this I had always been clear to her. “Then why when you kissed…” she tried to calm herself to continue, “It felt so real so sincere?”

I knew I had to get out of there so with the harshest words I could come up with I spoke to her, “I am only human Josie… I am a man what did you think? I was feeling lonely so I guess you can say I used you…” I tried not to wince as I told her that. I mean I am not that kind of man. I had kissed her back once or twice but it was just my doubts. Now I was back on track and I knew she had only been a test. I did love Leighanne and only her.

“You’re lying,” she told me standing up as I did. I shook my head and place a sly smile on my face as I spoke again. “No you wanted the truth there you have it now leave me alone…” I told her walking away. I walked in a fast pace so she wouldn’t catch up to me. I slammed the driver’s door and for once sped away in a long time. I felt horrible but I knew it had to be done. I wished she would have listened to me though and stayed away…

She wiped the sweat off her face as she woke up in the middle of the night, “Fuck Brian!!!” she screamed as she realized she could not get rid of him. As much as she wanted to because she wanted to make him happy she couldn’t.

She closed her eyes as she remembered his words at the coffee shop just three days earlier. She had to try that was the reason for her attempt of a date today. It seemed like maybe she could try and listen to Brian. She had no choice, “I need a shower,” she told herself as she left her bed.

She looked at herself before heading out, “here I go,” she told herself as she looked at the clock it was barely eight in the morning. She had been awake for a while she had tried to sleep with no avail.

Maybe her date later with some guy she had met at the salon she worked at now would change her horrible mood. She grabbed her belongings and headed for another day of work but yet still she could not take those blue eyes away from her memory.

********

“Is everything ready?” he asked his wife as he took a seat on the plush bed.

“Yes,” Leighanne sighed as she took a seat next to him. “So I don’t know why but I have this feeling and it’s been bugging me all day.”

“Are you getting sick?” Brian asked in concern as he automatically touched her forehead for fever.

She giggled and pushed his hand away, “No silly not sick more of like a feeling that something is going to happen that will sadden me, I don’t know how to explain it…” she said in frustration.

“Is there anything I can do? To assure you that everything will be fine?” Brian told her kissing her softly on the lips.

“No sorry Brian this is something I think I can only solve myself. I just wish I could pinpoint why I have this feeling…” she sighed and stood up. “I’m going to go check on Baylee.”

“Ok,” he said as he watched her leave and check on there sleeping son. He was now worried and then he suddenly felt the same uneasiness hit him. He just hoped that everything went smooth tomorrow afternoon on there departure to South America. So far everything according to management everything was good…could this trip be what was causing this uneasiness?

********

“I have to go,” Josie told her date as she stood up.

“What? We just got here,” Steven said as he stood up too looking at her with curiosity.

“Yeah sorry Steve I just can’t pretend that I am interested in getting to know you. I know what I want and its not you. Sorry for all this…” she pointed to the table and the food that had just been put there for them.

“Wait Josie are you ok?” Steven asked as he saw her and her sudden antsy behavior.

She smiled at him, “I will be… sorry again.” She then walked out the restaurant and called for a cab. A smile spreading on her face as she gave the cab driver her address, she needed rest for her new plan. She was a fighter and she wanted Brian!

“Thanks keep the change,” she told the driver after a thirty minute drive to her apartment. She ran to her apartment and went to get what she wanted, see what everyone didn’t know was she had kept the tour schedule.

She knew the guys were about to head to south America and she knew exactly what she needed to.

******

“Ah,” Brian said as he dropped to the floor pretending to be tired. “Man Baylee you’re getting good you beat me…” He said as he laughed at Baylee’s triumphant dance.

“I beat you daddy!!” Baylee said walking up to him and gladly offered to help him up.

“Yeah this calls for ice cream don’t you think?” He said as he picked his son up in his arms.

“Yeah,” Baylee said laughing. “We should get mommy.” He said as they left the basketball court heading back to the hotel.

“She’s not there Bay, she is with Aunt Leigh. So it’s just you and me today…. Lets go.” Brian smiled this moment right here made him feel complete. His son meant the world to him and he was going to make sure to let him know that.

“Ok I want chocolate ice cream and sprinkles.” Baylee said as he ran ahead of his father. “Hey daddy you can’t catch me…”

“Baylee wait,” Brian said as he ran after his son. “Man I am getting old for this…” he laughed as he continued run after his son.

*******

Could you blame her for not listening to him? She just knew that with the right words and actions Brian would finally open his eyes and see what he really needed by his side. She smiled as she saw him interact with Baylee. She loved Baylee and she could definitely be a better mother to him than Leighanne. Here she was again and following him again like an obsessed teenager.

Maybe she was obsessed but she only had this one last chance and she knew exactly how to make him realize that she was better for him than anyone else. She sighed as she continued to watch them interact. She would look great with them… no matter what anyone thought.

No one understood her. She had fallen completely and unconditionally with that man. Brian without wanting had stolen her heart and now she was determined to take his. She was going to be defiant but she knew or she felt she could prove to him she was the one.

Even if she had to be evil she was going to make him love her!

“Are we ready?” Brian asked his wife as they walked toward the cab that was to take them LAX.

“Yes, I just need to take this bag with me in case Baylee gets fussy on the flight.” Leighanne told her husband.

A few minutes later they were loading the cab the day was sunny and perfect. “It’s a lovely day to be at the beach,” Leighanne said as they rode in the cab.

An hour in half later they had arrived and were surprised to find that the rest of the guys were already there. As they waited for there flight Baylee was having the time of his life with his uncle Nick.

“Don’t run to far Baylee,” Leighanne said as she watched Nick and Baylee running around. She smiled to see her son having fun; she had made the right choice.

“We’ll be right back,” Nick announced to everyone as he carried Baylee. “We’re going to make a quick stop at McDonalds.”

“Don’t take to long, I am sure we are about to get called,” Howie told Nick as they watched him already walking away a body guard right behind them.

*******

“So is that all you want Baylee?” Nick asked him as they stood line.

“Yes one ice cream cone please, what are you having?” he asked as he began to run around Nick’s feet.

“I don’t know yet squirt,” Nick told him stopping him. “Don’t do that or your going to get sick.”

A few minutes later Nick was busy chatting with the Clerk who took his order. He had even signed a napkin for her. He was to entertained he for instant forgot Baylee was with him. Finally he got his ordered and after paying began to walk away. “Bay, let’s go…” he said as he looked around.

He sighed heavily thinking that Baylee was probably playing with him. “Hey Jason where’s Baylee?”

“He was with you in line,” Jason the guard then became alarmed. “Maybe he’s playing with you and is hiding. I was trying to stay away you know give you space. Fuck,”

Soon they were busy looking for Baylee, he was no where to be found. Nick felt his heart fall as he realized he had lost Baylee. “he’s never the one to leave just like that.” he said as they began to walk back toward the rest.

Leighanne became alarmed as she saw Nick and the body guard return alone. “Where’s Baylee?” she asked quickly.

Nick looked down and then he told them. “We’ll find him Jason is going to contact the airport security. Maybe he’s just hiding from me… you know how he likes to play hide and seek.”

Brian didn’t wait for more and began to search. It didn’t take long for LAX security to start the search, “Damn it Nick,” Brian said in frustration as he began to loose his patience. “Baylee,” he yelled into a bathroom looking inside.

********

Two hours later they were all in the Airports office with an officer and Security manager apologizing and telling them they were going to find him. “Do you know of anyone who would want to take you son?”

Leighanne was in tears and only shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she wiped her tears and tried to control herself to no avail.

“How about the security cameras?” Howie asked as his patience began to thin as well.

“We’re working on that,” Officer. Salinas said as he picked up the phone and dialed a number. After a few seconds he looked up and smiled, “They got something on a camera lets go,” he said as he stood up.

As soon as they walked into the monitoring room the played the tape, Leighanne gasped as she saw her son talking to a woman. She was showing him how to blow bubbles and then she tells him something else. Then out of no where she grabs him and begins to walk with him.

“Wait… that’s,” Brian’s face turned pale as he recognized the tattooed arm. “Josie… its Josie. She has Baylee!”

“Son of Bitch!” AJ said as he saw it too. “Why the fuck is she taking Baylee?”

“Do you know her,” the officer asked as he faced them.

“Yes…unfortunately we do.” Howie said anger apparent on his voice. “She used to work for us and did become a little obsessed with Brian so we had to let her go.”

“I am sorry guys but you all must follow me to the police station and put in a report for your son’s disappearance. We will also put out a search on this lady, let’s go.” Officer Salinas said as he began to talk through his walkie talkie.

Nick sighed heavily, “I’m sorry Brian this is all my fault.” He felt retched and guilty. “if I would’ve paid attention to him.”

*******

“This is not the way to the airplane,” Baylee told Josie as she put him inside a car.

“Yeah Baylee I’m sorry sweetie but your not going bye bye after all. Your daddy is going to meet us somewhere else.” Josie said as she got into the car. She smiled triumphantly as she began to drive away. “Like taking a lollipop from a kid.” She said.

“Why?” Baylee asked.

“Because, just be quiet Baylee. It’s a big surprise for daddy and your going to help ok?”

“Josie I thought you weren’t working with daddy anymore. Daddy didn’t like you.”

“No it was a misunderstanding sweetie, just be quiet ok? Soon we will be with daddy and we are going to have so much fun.” Josie said as she made it out of the airport’s parking lot.

“Are you sure?” officer Salinas asked the man one more time.

“Yes sir she came in yesterday and quit. She told me she no longer needed the job, she just told me her future husband had asked her to quit. They were going to go elope in Vegas and then move to Europe.” Johnny the owner of Hollywood styles Salon said as he continued to wonder why so many cops had come into his salon in such a busy hour.

“Do you still have an address for her or phone number?” he asked anxiously.

“I… I can check,” Johnny said feeling scared at the urgency in the officer’s voice. He walked into his office and two minutes later came back with an address and phone number. “Officer?” Johnny said as he handed him the paper. “Is Josie ok? She did look a little disturbed yesterday. Like desperate.”

Officer Salinas smirked and then sighed, “I am sure she is fine its that fact that she has kidnapped someone and we believe the kid is in danger that we need to find her. If she by chance calls you for any reason please don’t hesitate to call me, we need to get the kid back.” He said handing him his card.

********

“Will you shut up!” Josie said impatiently to the Baylee who was now crying. “Your dad will be here soon…”

“I want my mommy too,” Baylee said as he threw the cup of juice Josie had given him.
“Well sorry kid but I am going to be your new mommy. So get used to it!” she said angrily as she picked up the cup and slammed the cup on the table to make a point. “Will you just shut up!!!!” Josie screamed when Baylee began to cry again.

She faced the little kid again and tried to calm down, “Ok I will make you a deal Bay if you calm down I will call your daddy and you can talk to him what you say?”

Baylee looked up at Josie and stopped crying, “ok,” he said.

She smiled triumphantly as she dialed his number she just hoped he hadn't changed it. If not her plan would be no good, “It works,” she said as she heard the phone ring.

*********

“I’m so sorry baby… I promise I will get him back,” Brian whispered to his wife who had been inconsolable since she heard who had her baby.

“I want my baby,” Leighanne sobbed as she hugged her husband. “I want to kill her,” she said for the first time actually feeling hate for her. Yeah she was mad about the situation between her and her husband but now she hated her. How could she take her son?

“We are going to get him back,” AJ said as he lit a cigarette. “Don’t worry if you don’t kill her I will!”

“Is it me or someone’s phone is vibrating,” Nick said taking out his phone. “Not mine,” he said as he looked seeing AJ and Howie checking there phones.

“It’s mine,” Howie said as he answered it. “Fred? I need you to slow down and tell me again…” Howie said as he put his phone on speaker.

“I just got a call from Josie and she wanted Brian’s number. She kept insisting on it and I was about to hang up when I heard a little boys cry. Then she told him to shut up and said Baylee’s name… I knew then something was wrong. I also remembered getting the call about our flight to Latin America postponed. So I told her to give me her number and that I would get Brian to call her….” Fred said in a more calm tone.

“No she did not scream at my baby,” Leighanne said.

“What’s the number Fred?” Brian asked as he took out his cell phone.

“Shouldn’t we tell the cops first?” AJ asked.

“I don’t have time I need to get my son back,” Brian said and once again asked for the number. He right away began to dial…

********

Josie smiled as her phone began to ring, “Hello Brian,” she said as she took a seat next to Baylee.

“Josie why in hell did you take Baylee? Just bring him back to us safely… think about it. All the trouble you are in already…” Brian said anger apparent in his voice.

“Nice to hear you too…” she said ignoring Brian’s words. “So I will make a deal with you do want to hear or do you prefer for me to take Baylee to a place where you will never see him again?”

“No Josie please…” Brian sighed heavily trying not to break down for his wife’s sakes.

“So does that mean you will hear me out?” Josie asked sounding impatient.

“Yes,” Brian said.

“Ok I want you to get a chopper to pick you, me and Baylee up from my apartment building it is to take us out of the US. I also think you should take some money for our expenses. Now I won’t be so harsh you have the option to leave Baylee with her… I mean I plan to give you plenty more kids.” Josie smiled at that thought. “If you don’t follow my demands remember I have Baylee and you won’t see him again. Hey Baylee daddy is on the phone say hi,” Josie said handing Baylee her phone.

“Baylee?” Brian asked as he heard the shuffling from the other side.

“Daddy? Daddy when are you coming? I don’t like Josie…”

“Ok that’s enough talking to your son,” Josie said taking the phone back. “You exactly ten hours before I leave with him and you will never see him again.”

“No I’ll be there,” Brian said… “What’s the address?”

********

Officer Salina’s smiled as he heard about Josie’s contact. “She really isn’t all there is she? Her boss did mention she looked desperate, desperate people make stupid mistakes.”

“What does that mean?” Leighanne asked.

“It means she didn’t think much about us. Mr. Littrell do as she told you and you will have to up there? Do you mind?” officer Salinas asked.

“No I’ll do it, I just want my son back safely.” Brian said in a monotone voice. At this point he didn’t care about himself but for his son.

“Good, then lets get this on the move,” officer Salina’s said. “Your son will be back in your safely Mrs. Littrell don’t worry. Mr. Littrell lets get you geared up,” Salina’s said.

“Wait!” Leighanne said stopping Brian from following the officer. “I want to tell you I love you and be careful. Bring our son back,” she told him kissing him deeply.

“I will,” Brian said giving her a weak smile.

************

“Just relax Baylee your dad will be here soon. We are going to have so much fun you’ll see!!” Josie said as she took another sip from the bottle she held in her hand. “I won Baylee… Brian and you will be with me. I am going to be a much better mother you’ll see,” she told the sleeping baby as she began to pack the essentials for the trip.

Soon it would be time to go up to the building where her freedom was waiting. “Mexico first and then we can travel to Europe,” she said to herself.

She was going to show everyone that she could be a perfect wife and that she was capable of being happy. All she needed now was to have Brian by her side. She wondered how her first time with him would be.

“I am going to make him forget her, in every aspect.” She said with confidence. Brian deserved someone like her. She was doing Brian a favor she was. Leighanne was bound to leave him sooner or later. She was not the right woman for him, because she was he just hadn't found her yet. But now that they had found each other they would make it work.

*********

Brian frowned at the noise from the chopper. He could see Baylee and Josie standing close to the chopper he turned one more time and spoke to officer Salina's “you won’t shoot at her either right?”

“No that is not our goal he want to bring her in.” Brian nodded and finally opened the door that led to the chopper. He sighed heavily as he saw Josie smile, he began to walk faster when he saw his son try to pull away to get to only to have Josie hold him tighter.

“Daddy!” Baylee yelled but it seemed like his father did not hear him.

Finally Brian was standing in front of her. “I want Baylee to stay with Leighanne,” he said firmly as he kneeled down and hugged his son, “Baylee I want to walk to those doors your uncle Nick is waiting for you.”

“You brought Nick with you?” Josie asked kneeling down next him.

“Yes I told you Baylee stays.” Brian said he kissed him one more time and he pushed him to walk. He saw his son obey and walk toward the door he had just come out of as soon as he was inside the police came out with guns in hand.

“I don’t understand?” Josie said looking confused and looked at Brian. “Why?” she asked she began to back away.

“Josie I don’t love you, just let me get you help.” Brian said as he realized Josie was backing away to the edge of the building. “Josie please,” he said as he began to walk toward her.

“No…” she said feeling betrayed. “I love you and I only wanted you to love me back.” She said finally reaching the edge of the building.

“Josie please,” Brian said realizing what she was planning to do. Brian turned around and saw the police officers had stopped moving too trying to figure out her next move. “Josie lets talk… please come to me.”

Josie smiled and then laughed, “I just wanted to love you the right way. But I repulse you and I only want to please you. I have no one else but you… you showed me that I was worth it and then you shattered my heart.”

“No Josie no….” Brian said running up to her and grabbing her wrist.

She smiled at him and then sighed, “You don’t love me yet you can’t see me suffer?” she asked him caressing his cheek. She groaned when she saw that the police where approaching them again, “Could you kiss one more time please before I get sent to jail forever?”

“Josie I can’t,” Brian said with a sad tone. “I am going to get you help though,” he said.

“Please just one kiss,” Josie said leaning in and pressing her lips on his.

Brian was about to break the kiss when he realized he didn’t need too, “no…. Josie!” he said as he watched her jump the edge of the building…

[Brian’s POV]

Till this day I have horrible nightmares of me trying to hold Josie from jumping. I think things would’ve had turned out better. She did survive the tragic jump of course with some consequences. She will be stuck in a wheelchair for the remainder of her life in a mental home.

I did get to meet her family and came to find out that Josie did have a great loving family. She was the one that had gone bad and then began to make up things about her family. I also found out that before her obsession with me she had had one good boyfriend, but like all her other relationships ran away before it got worse.

I still don’t understand though why she continued to go after me after so many rejections. It was a little mind boggling because it was apparent she had let go of all her other exes. That will always hunt me; I wish I could get the answer to that one.

I will never forget this life changing experience because through all this hell, I came out triumphant. We did go to South America and like we had expected we got a very warm welcome.

Baylee did get a few sessions with a therapist for the trauma he went through. I believe he is doing great though and our bond couldn’t be better. Leighanne came to me with the most wonderful news very recently. I am going to be a father again… I am still hoping god will bless me with my Kimberly.

As far as it goes though it seems only AJ and Nick need to pop out there mini backstreet baby. Leigh had a baby boy and let’s say Howie is elated at that now with a better excuse for falling asleep quite often at work. Can’t blame him though I know how that is.

All in all you could say my life is back to normal. I am happy with my wife and my career couldn’t get better we are now in the works for out next album. I want to say I am in a good place but still like always Josie still seems to come into mind when I less expect it.

It’s like she is present even though she is gone. I will never forgive myself for that and I only torture myself with this. I pretend like I have moved on but yet I can’t, I feel like I could have helped her find a good path. I hope that wherever she is she does find something to fill her empty unrequited heart. I guess I can’t help to feel remorse for what has happened to her.

I do have to say though that with this experience my wife and I have bonded very well. I feel like our love can now surpass anything and I will prove it to her till the last day of my existence. I have yet to fulfill many things both in my personal and music career but I now have a better perspective.

I now make sure to be a full participant in the hiring done for tour. Hey I learned my lesson not that I consider myself handsome at all. I leave that to Nick.

In the end of it all it’s all about determination, which I do have. I was determined to have my family and I still do. Like I mentioned before though in this world you will cross many hurdles everyday, you just have to be like that runner that wants the gold metal jump them all. And if you happen to trip on one get up and try again, you still have a shot at the silver one. It’s not the same but it will make you want to work harder for the next time when you will be able to jump all the hurdles without casualties.

Always remember that you have to look out for many different types of hurdles though, it’s not only seduction, there’s infidelity, money, family problems, illness, obsession and the list can go on. So my best advice is to never stop trying, well like I always say. It was nice sharing this with you but I Gotta Go!

*********

[Three years later!]

“How are you doing Miss Monticello?” she heard her therapist ask as she looked out her four wall room. She hated being here in this plain white room where she was treated like she was crazy.

“I think I can walk on my own now,” She said turning to face the very attractive therapist.

“See I told you with determination you would walk again. So why don’t we start off by warming up and then we’ll see how well you are doing?”

She only at him as he pushed her chair out of her room and down the long hall to the therapy room, she smiled. Soon she would be able to walk again. She smiled as she saw the therapist put on her favorite CD. “Angels and Heroes please,” she asked him to play.

She would get out of here and she would make sure her obstacle would be removed. It had come very apparent that Leighanne was who she needed to get rid of, Brian was hers. Soon, she smiled as she continued to warm up with the help of her therapist. She would have her angel with her… Brian.

“I really like this song… I can see why you love it.”

“Yeah it gives me the strength to make it through all this and walk. I know I am doing well with my psychologist so soon I can be let out. Freedom I can almost taste it.” She smiled to him.