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If I Were a Movie…I’d suck!




There are times in my life where I wish I could just yell “Cut!” And be done with it. You know, just like they do in the movies. In the movies, when things get too intense or the scene just isn’t perfect, you stop it. This was one of those times. Hearing my ‘fake’ mother telling me she killed my ‘real’ mother. I almost wanted to hit pause and ask someone how exactly I am supposed to deal with that situation. Am I supposed to yell and scream, cry or run out of the room? I needed to know what to do because in my heart, I felt nothing. I didn’t have the urge to run, yell, cry or scream. All I did was stare in disbelief.

When she told me, there was this odd kind of quiet that happened. I don’t think anyone in the room was even breathing. I’m not even sure if I was. None of them seemed shocked by this revelation which means it was old news to everyone except me. I’m pretty sure that even Kevin had found out prior to this moment.

I felt her hand still in mine, but now she was rubbing my palm with her thumb. Something she used to do to me when I was little. Before I knew she was a cold blooded killer.

I could tell they were all waiting for me to say something. The tension was high and the silence had reached its maximum. We had arrived at the part in the movie where the audience was ready to jump or whine because the characters were taking too long to react. So, I reached into the depths of my soul to try to find the perfect thing to say.

“Okay.” Is what I came up with?

Jane, we’ll call her that from now on, looked surprised, “Okay?” She echoed.

I pulled my hand away from hers, suddenly feeling dirty. “What else do you want me to say? Congratulations? Way to kill my mother?” Okay people here comes the anger. I guess it was a delayed reaction.

“She wasn’t your mother Nick. I am your mother. I have ALWAYS been your mother.”

“Oh really, even after you faked your own death and left me longing for you all these years?”

“It was complicated.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I moved to the couch and felt everyone’s eyes follow me there. “So, you said she wasn’t my mother….you gave birth to me then?”

She looked over at my father. I could tell they had talked about this moment before, rehearsed it even. I wonder if I was playing my part correctly. Then something else dawned on me, if she was my mother then, “He is my brother?” I asked, pointing towards Nickolas who looked like he wanted to be back in my closet tied up rather than sit through this conversation.

“Nick, before you were born I used to work for the CIA.” My father said as he moved to sit next to me on the couch. I almost moved but decided maybe that was too immature so I just sat there.

“I know, my fake uncle told me that.” I rolled my eyes.

“And one of my assignments was to watch over a family from Russia. They were on several watch lists and I was told to keep my eyes on them. Your mother worked for them at the time. She was their head chef.”

“And which mother would that be? I’m losing track.”

I was looking at the floor now, not really wanting to hear anymore. I was bored with this movie. It was turning out to really suck ass!

“Me sweetheart.”

“Oh, the killer.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that!” My father actually scolded me. Seriously?

“It’s okay Bob, I deserved that.” Well, at least she got something right.

“This family,” I said now looking over at my dad, “Are we talking about the woman she killed?” I didn’t even know what to call her anymore. If she wasn’t my mother why should I bother caring?

“Yes, she was a part of it. So was Max.”

“So, he didn’t work for the CIA then? He lied about that too?”

“No, actually he did work for the CIA. He was my second in command. We didn’t know at the time that he was a double agent.”

Of course we needed a double agent in this movie. I wonder if there’s an evil twin as well.

“Turns out he was a part of this family and had us all fooled. By the time we figured it out, things had gone horribly wrong, well almost everything.” My dad looked over at Jane and smiled, “I fell in love with your mom during this time.”

She picked up the story now, “Your dad used me to help get them the information they needed. My job was to just listen and report back when I heard anything significant. I am the one who found out that Max was part of the family and that he had been lying to your father this entire time.”

“Max didn’t know you were listening in?” I asked.

“No.” Now it was my father’s turn to continue, “I was already suspicious of him so I left him out of it. I’m glad I did. Anyway, I’ll spare you most of the details because to this day they remain confidential, but the end result was plenty of arrests, including Max and some new identities for your mother and me. We had a fresh start, new life, and a new place, safe.”

“You guys were in the Witness Protection Program?”

“Not exactly, we just picked up and left. When you are trained like I am, changing identities is pretty easy. I still worked for the CIA but we were also working on opening a Bed and Breakfast.”

“Okay, where does he come into the story?” I pointed at Nickolas who it seems was staring at me this whole time.

Jane smiled at her son, “I had him before I met your dad.”

“Was his dad one of those Russians?”

“No, he was a truck driver who ended up being a total jerk.”

“So, you left him with the jerky truck driver when you had me and through that process he developed a Russian accent?”

“He doesn’t have a Russian accent.”

I looked over at my half brother, “Uh…yeah he does.”

“Actually…” Nickolas said in very plain English, “That’s one of the things I lied about. Sorry, I just figured when I was caught, it was best to act like I was Russian so he wouldn’t make the connection to our mother or your father. I was hoping I could get him to believe I was working for his family.”

“Guess that didn’t work the way you wanted it to, huh?”

“Not so much.”

“When it was just you and me, how come you still kept it up?”

“I wanted you to trust me. If I suddenly started talking like this I was afraid you’d try to run away.” He was right. I would have done exactly that.

I put my hand over my mouth, perplexed and then shook my head, “Call me crazy, but I am pretty sure I’d remember having a brother and I don’t really recall him being in my life at all.”

My ‘parents’ both looked at each other again, I was really beginning to hate that. “When I was pregnant with you, things got more complicated.”

“How so?”

“Max came back into our lives.”

“He found you?” They both nodded, “But I thought he was in prison?”

“He was. They didn’t have enough evidence to hold him so they let him go. At that point, the CIA recommended we go into hiding but we refused.”

It’s weird, now that I was finally learning the truth. I almost didn’t want to hear anymore of it. Especially the part I knew was coming next, the part that has been plaguing my dreams and scaring the crap out of me for this long.

When we would watch horror movies together in our hotel rooms in Europe, and I could sense that the scariest part was coming up, I would make an excuse to leave. Usually I ran into the bathroom and stayed there just until I heard the screams die down on the television or the guys stop talking about how cool that scene was. When I would come out, I’d act all disappointed like I was so bummed to miss out on it, but secretly I knew if I had seen what was coming, it would have kept me up all night.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” I said, “Can you show me where it is?”

“I’ll show him.” Kevin said, knowing that I just needed to get out of that room. See, he figured out my horror movie emergency plan a long time ago and would always smirk when I would excuse myself at the perfect time. I give him credit though, because he never told the guys.

“Thanks.” He led me out of the room and down a very small hallway where at the end was the tiniest bathroom I have ever seen.

“How are you holding up little man? You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what I would say, Kevin. Did you know about my mom killing that other woman?”

“No, but I found out that the other woman wasn’t your mother once I got here. I filled them in on your dreams and what Max had been telling us. I’m sorry about this Nick. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you.”

“I feel like you’re the only person I can trust here.”

He placed an arm on my shoulder. It felt nice not to want to move away from him. “Nick, you can trust your family. They love you. I know it’s hard to see right now, but I’m sure once we hear the rest of what they have to say, things will make more sense.”

“Do you know the story?”

He shook his head, “We’ll be finding out together and I’ll be right there for you if you need me.”

I hugged him then, just for being there. I wish the rest of the guys were with us as well. “Come on, let’s go back inside.” I said, now knowing what I wanted to say to my family.

“All better?” Jane asked. She was sitting in my spot on the couch. “Can I keep going now?”

“No, I’m not all better and I won’t be until we get my friends back.” I turned to my father, “So, how do we do that exactly? Every minute we wait…”

“He’s not going to kill them Nick, they are too valuable. He’s probably trying to figure out a way to get in touch with us right now.” Nickolas said. It was so weird not hearing the Russian accent.

“Besides, I think we’re going to go to the mountain.” My father added.

“Huh?”

“Oh, I get you! That’s a brilliant idea Bob!” Nickolas said with a huge smile on his face.

I had no clue what either of them were talking about. I glanced over to Kevin to see if he understood and was happy to see he looked as out of it as I did.

“The hotel phones are bugged son, so all we have to do is call there or have you call there and speak to Brian and they will trace the call. They’ll track us down and then we can get them.”

“But, do we really want them coming here?”

“No, that’s why we’re going to call them from somewhere else.”

I nodded, it sounded like a good idea.

“Nick, I need to tell you the rest of this story.” My mother said actually looking annoyed she had been interrupted. As if she hadn’t interrupted my entire life with her departure so long ago.

“I actually think I’ve heard enough.” That wasn’t true, but I just didn’t think I could take anymore of this.

“You need to know what we’re up against and why.” My father said. “Don’t you want to know why your mother had to leave us?”

I looked over at Jane and sighed, “Okay, go ahead.”

I guess it was time to see how this movie ended so I sat down on a chair and listened as my nightmares came to reality with every word my mother and father spoke.
Chapter End Notes:
Hope you enjoy! I hope to be back next week with another update and yes, I did still Kelly's title lol but I know she loves me so it's okay :OP