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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hello! hope you enjoy the chapter. I will be back on Monday with chapter 4! Thanks for reading and all the reviews. I appreciate it! :O)

~ 3 ~

 

No Fan land

 

 

Turns out I slept the rest of the way back home. If Kevin hadn’t nudged me awake, I probably would have just spent the night on the airplane. It was nice getting some sleep. I felt rested for the first time in a long time. Maybe that was a good sign. Things will start turning around for me and I won’t be so ‘weird’ anymore. It bothered me that they all thought I was acting strange. This only means that they were talking about me behind my back.  I hated when people did that! It bothered me more than anything else. Well with the exception of being alone, being watched or being followed by people. I’m also not a huge fan of clowns, fires, popping things or midgets.

 

We made it to our hotel without incident. I just kind of stayed quiet and avoided all of them, especially Brian who I was still really mad at. He tried to talk to me a few times and even started by half apologizing to me, but I just walked ahead and decided I would have none of it, not now anyway. Let him feel bad for betraying my trust first.

 

Our hotel room was pretty sweet for being in America. This was no fan land for us so when it came to doing any promotion here, we usually found ourselves downgraded from the best hotels to dingy little motels that looked like they were future crime scenes. This time though, our management took pity on us and booked us in a nice four star hotel in the middle of Manhattan. The beds were king sized; there was a nice comfy couch, a huge television and a balcony that overlooked the busy streets below.

 

Kevin plopped his stuff on the floor and jumped on the bed closest to the balcony. He stretched his legs out and placed his hands behind his head as he laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. “This is sweet.”

 

I wanted that bed. I didn’t like to sleep in the bed closest to the door. The door is where someone could enter and drag me away or shoot me dead. No one could get all the way up to the balcony from outside so that bed was much safer. “Can I have that bed?” I asked in barely a whisper. I knew it was a losing battle but I still had to ask.

 

“Why?”

 

“Just cause…” Yeah, of course I would win with that shining argument.

 

He sighed but did the very unexpected by standing up and moving to the other bed, “No problem…Merry Christmas little man.” Wow.

 

“Thanks Kevin.” I walked over and sat on the bed starting to think that maybe rooming with him wouldn’t be so bad after all. I mean, he’s really the one person who I feel safe with most of the time. Even though we had our share of differences, at the end of the day, if I were to scream for help, it would be Kevin who would come running.

 

Just as I sat down, there was a knock on the door. “Don’t forget to ask who it is!” I said as I started to unpack.

 

“Good job Nickolas, I’m proud of you. Now you go ask who it is, I’m laying down.”

 

I went over to the door, “Who is it?”

 

“Me,” came the southern reply. If Kevin wasn’t in here, I probably would not have opened the door but since he was, I really had no choice.

 

When I opened the door to Brian, he looked like a lost puppy that had just peed on my leg and was begging for forgiveness. If he had a tail, it would be between his legs.

 

“Hey,” He said with his head down.

 

“Hey.” I answered doing the same thing.

 

“Can I come in for a minute?”

 

“I guess.” I cleared a path for him to enter and followed him to my bed, sitting on the floor instead of next to him.

 

He gave his cousin an uneasy look, like he didn’t want to say what he came here to say with Kevin in the room. Sadly, Kevin wasn’t paying any attention. He had his eyes closed as he just laid there. “You want to come next door?” Brian asked me.

 

“Okay, yeah…I guess.” I stood up, using Kevin’s bed as an anchor, “I’m going to Rok’s room, I’ll be back.” I told him.

 

“Uh huh,” the unexcited one way or the other reply came.

 

When Brian let us into his room, I was kind of bummed to see AJ sitting there watching TV. Howie was also in there. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about the plane. I know it might seem like I abandoned you back there.”

 

“Seemed like? You kind of DID.”

 

“He didn’t give me a choice. When he saw you run to the bathroom…”

 

“I didn’t run to the bathroom.”

 

“Fine, when he saw you walk briskly to the bathroom…”

 

“Whatever dude!”

 

“He wanted to know what was going on.”

 

“You didn’t have to tell him.” I looked over to AJ and Howie, wondering if they knew already.

 

“He just has a way of pulling things out of me.”

 

I rolled my eyes and wanted to be angrier than I was, but honestly, I knew what he was talking about when it came to his cousin and how persuasive he could be. Kevin could be downright mean and scary when he wanted to be.

 

“He’s treating me like I’m a child.” I sat on the bed with a humph.

 

“You are a child.” AJ said from his bed.

 

“Am I even talking to you?”

 

“Now you are.” Ugh! 

 

“He’s just concerned about you. Maybe after a night he’ll figure out everything’s okay and let you room with me again.” Brian then walked over and pat me on the shoulder. “So, am I forgiven?” He asked giving me one of ‘my’ trademark puppy dog smiles.

 

“For now, I guess. So, what are you guys up to? I think Kevin’s going to take a nap but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun!” Suddenly I wanted to get out of the hotel room. Why not? I’d have three of my best friends with me to keep me safe and hopefully they’d get my mind off things. There were so many places we could explore in NYC without worrying about girls running after us. We could actually be anonymous.

 

Howie stood up and stretched, “Maybe that’s a good idea. I think if I stay in this room for much longer I’m going to end up sleeping.”

 

“Where to?” Brian asked, grabbing his jacket.

 

“Somewhere close. Let’s just go walk around and window shop or something.”

 

“Maybe we can go see the ginormous tree.” AJ added putting on his coat.

 

“I guess I should go get my jacket too.” I really didn’t want to go back into my room for some reason. I was feeling good right now and I was afraid that if I went back inside, maybe my fears would restart or something.

 

“Or you can just go outside and freeze your nuts off.” AJ shrugged.

 

“At least I have nuts!”

 

“Ha, freaking ha, you’re a real riot Carter.”

 

“AJ, you’re just annoyed because he had a quick comeback.” I high-fived Brian who quickly made up some brownie points for that.  

 

“I have to get my coat too.” Howie said walking out the door and waiting for me to follow him. “Should we all meet in the lobby in about 15 minutes?”

 

“Why don’t we all just go down together?” I said rather anxiously.

 

“I guess that makes the most sense.” Howie agreed. I wasn’t sure how riding an elevator all alone would bode for me so I was grateful we were going down in a pack.

 

Howie left me off in my room to the sounds of Kevin snoring. I refrained from getting a bucket of warm water and sticking his hand in it, but I was more than tempted. I decided to leave him a note, just so he wouldn’t get all panicky when none of us were anywhere to be found. I almost wanted to pat myself on the back for being so responsible. I grabbed my jacket and followed the sound of Brian’s laughter out into the hallway.

 

“Is Kevin joining us?” AJ asked trying to look over my shoulder into the room.

 

“He’s sleeping. I left him a note that we were going out.”

 

“Wow, very responsible of you, young Nickolas.!” Brian nodded and ruffled up my hair.

 

“I think we’ll need to take the subway to get to Rockefeller Center.” Howie said grabbing a map out of his long coat pocket. “It doesn’t look too difficult to figure out and we could always ask someone where we need to go.”

 

Suddenly all the confidence and happiness I was feeling crashed in on me like a collapsing house. There was no way I wanted to go on the subway. Too many things could go wrong.

 

 “What’s wrong?” They were all looking at me but it was Howie who asked the question.

 

“I don’t think we should go that far. Maybe we should just stay locally around the hotel.”

 

“Why?”

 

Yeah Nick, think…why? Oh, because I’m a giant wuss who is suddenly afraid of my own shadow and that the boogeyman might possible grab at my feet and carry me away while no one is looking. I don’t think that explanation will fly, so how about plan B. “Kevin…He’d probably want to see that with us.”

 

They all nodded then AJ added, “You’re right. He did mention it at least once on the plane.” Score one for me and my quick thinking!

 

“Okay, let’s just walk around and see what’s out there.” Brian said, but once again he looked at me suspiciously, as if I was hiding some deep, dark secret. It really wasn’t that deep or dark if it was I’d probably be afraid of it!

 

It was a nice day out. For being so close to Christmas, it wasn’t all that cold. In fact it felt more like early fall than winter. The streets were packed with people. I mean wall to wall. Hundreds of tourists were out and about taking pictures and posing in front of various site seeing attractions. There were even lines in front of department store windows. Yes, New York did take the term window shopping literally.

 

At first the constant throngs of people didn’t bother me, but after walking about a block and a half I started getting that uneasy feeling. For anyone lucky enough to never have had this overwhelming sense of anxiety, I’ll explain it to you like this. It’s like being in the middle of nowhere and then suddenly having to go to the bathroom. The urge just hits you and when it does it’s hard. You can’t hold it in but there’s nowhere for you to hide so you have to wet your pants. That’s what these attacks feel like.

 

“Are you okay?” I jumped when I felt Brian’s hand on my shoulder.

 

“I think we should go back to the hotel.”

 

“We just left.” He half laughed.

 

“I need to use the bathroom.”

 

“I’m sure we can find one, this is New York.”

 

“Please Brian…I need to go back now.” The look of urgency on my face made his smile go away.

 

“What’s up?” AJ said when he noticed we had stopped. Howie was still walking along and whistling to himself. Oh, to be as clueless and blissful as Howie D.

 

“Nick and I are going back to the hotel.”

 

“Why?”

 

“My stomach hurts.” I lied, which was blatant since I had just told Brian I had to go to the bathroom.

 

AJ looked from me to Brian and then shrugged, “Okay, whatever man. Feel better.” AJ wasn’t buying it. “You want me and Howie to wait for you?” He asked Brian.

 

“Nah, you guys go on ahead. I’ll stay behind with him.”

 

“You sure?”

 

He nodded at AJ and then smiled. “You better go or he’s going to lose you!” Brian pointed to Howie who was now almost out of eye range. Remind me never to count on D to back me up because I’d be long dead before he even realized I was missing.

 

As we turned to walk back towards the hotel, Brian put his hand on my shoulder, “You know you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on with you.” His voice was sterner this time.

 

“Can we please just hurry; I’m going to be sick.” Now it wasn’t so much a lie. If we didn’t get there soon I’d end up vomiting on his shoes.

 

We didn’t talk for the rest of the way. I just let my eyes focus on the sidewalk directly in front of me, counting the number of squares we passed until we met our destination. Brian was mad at me, I could tell by his quietness. It felt awkward, which didn’t help ease my mind.

 

I was grateful to see the door to my hotel room. I had the key in my hand and as quickly as I could, opened the door. I wasn’t even going to look up. I had just planned to run in to the bathroom but hearing Kevin gasp, I couldn’t help but see what the deal was.

 

He had the look of a deer caught in headlights and I’m sure I looked about the same way.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I asked him as Brian walked in right behind me.

 

Shocked, I saw Kevin standing over my bed and opening my backpack. It looked like he had already searched my luggage and was just about to empty the contents of my bag onto the floor when we interrupted him.