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Nick looked at the list Ashton had given him. Women certainly needed a lot of things. He knew it was going to take a while to find everything. She wanted make-up, comfortable clothes, body wash, perfume, deodorant, lotion, books, journal, shower cap, and the list went on. Nick went in the master suite. Oh, the memories he had from this room. Nick loved making love to his wife. It put a smile on his face.  He went into her walk-in closet. He looked for some comfortable clothes. He found her favorite sweats and t-shirts and put them in her suitcase. Then he found her bras and panties.

“Mmmm…those are new.” He smiled as he talked to himself. He was holding a brand new red lacy bra and thong set. It made him hot just visualizing her in that. Shit, he had to stop. They were getting divorced. He wasn’t in love with her anymore. Nick couldn’t deny that she still could turn on his libido. She was amazing in bed. He wanted her so bad. Especially after the lackluster sex he had with Chelsey.

Nick walked into the bathroom.  He packed her toiletries and found everything but the shower cap. He started opening the cabinet by the sink. He found the shower cap and a long black box with his name on it. Curiosity got the best of him. He needed to see what was inside the box.

He picked it up and took off the lid. Inside was a folded up piece paper. Nick knew he shouldn’t open it, but his heart was telling him to. Carefully he unfolded the paper. It was a letter.

Dearest Nickolas,

Can you believe it? We’ve been married for eight years. My love has grown stronger with every passing day. You are my everything. Without you I’m a lost soul. Nick, you’ll never understand what your love has done for me. I can’t wait to grow old with you. I know that lately, I haven’t been the best wife. I’m trying Nick, and my love for you is a strong as ever. You might be wondering why I am writing you this letter. I guess you have to read on, to find out. LOL…I can never make it easy for you.

There are some things I can’t tell you face to face. It would hurt me and you both. Don’t freak out Nick…I know what you’re thinking. It’s nothing really bad, it’s just life. Remember a few months ago when we made love on the beach. (One of the best night of my life, by the way.) We talked about the next five years of our marriage. We both wanted more kids running around the house. It was a dream for both of us. Well, here is where our dream got shattered. I had a gynecologist appointment.  After running some tests, the doctor told me the unthinkable. I wasn’t going to be able to have any more children. My heart broke, but I had to be strong. What made it worse was that, my periods were so bad, he put me on the pill. Sorry, Nick…I know that is to much TMI for you.

Being the great husband you are, you never pressured me about getting pregnant. I continued taking the pill without telling you. I’m sorry. I didn’t like being dishonest, but I was afraid to tell you this one thing. That is when I started to distance myself from you. We still made love, but not as often. I made sure that I was busy with work and the kids so we didn’t have time to talk. I regret what I did.  Everyone is blaming the divorce on you, but it’s my fault. I deserve you falling out of love with me. You deserve a better wife. I’m a liar and it wasn’t fair to you. I hate that I was deceitful. That isn’t what a marriage should be based on.  

I will always love you, and I’m not quoting that dumb Whitney Houston song. I am agreeing to the divorce. You deserve better than me. You will find a signed copy in this box. I am sorry that I have caused so much pain and misery. I’m letting you go, fly away.

Love,

Ashton

The paper fell out of Nick’s hand. Tears streamed down his face. He didn’t know whether to be sad or angry with me.  Nick was hurt, but he was shaken by what his wife went through. How could she live with those secrets?  Why couldn’t she just have told him the truth? He loved her so much that he would have accepted her not being able to have more kids. Adoption was always and option. As stood up, he realized his was pissed.  What was she thinking?   She caused all this destruction to their marriage and acted as if it were all his fault.  She purposely pulled away. She made him fall out of love with her, and then acted like he was the bad guy.

What was he going to do? She lied to him. He lied to her. Nick still loved her more than life itself. He was going to work this out. It was going to be a long three weeks.

Nick continued finding all of Ashton’s stuff. He knew she was in no condition to talk tonight, but come tomorrow it was going to be out in the open.

Chapter End Notes:
This was the hardest chapter to write.