I woke up more relaxed then I had ever felt in the last year. Nick was softly snoring beside me. He looked sexy. I glanced at the clock. It was two o’clock in the afternoon. We had made love twice and then cuddled. It was like nothing had changed between us. It was too perfect. I should enjoy the moment, but I knew that it probably wouldn’t last. Nick pretended to forgive and forget, but I’m not that type of person. I couldn’t pretend that the last year didn’t happen. I will remember. My kids will remember.  It would be the one thing always stuck in the back of our minds when things went wrong. If we wanted our marriage to work, we need to talk about it and then move on.

I felt the bed move. Nick turned onto his side and looked at me. “Wow! That was a great morning.” He ran his finger down my cast. I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Nick, it hasn’t been like this for a while. It felt good.”  I whispered quietly.

“We need to do this more often.” He trailed kisses down my neck to my cast. It felt so right. I loved him with all my heart.

“Mmmmm….Nick. Stop.” He looked at me and stopped.

“What is it?”

“I know you want to forgive and forget, but I can’t. We really need to talk about what happened this last year. I need closure before I move on.”

Nick sat up in bed and gave me a pointed look. I had clearly said the wrong thing. “Do we have to do this now? I just made love to the woman I love. Now you want me to discuss an unpleasant situation. Can’t it wait until later?” He kissed my cheek.

“Nick, stop avoiding the issue. The sooner we talk about it the sooner we can have a better marriage. We can’t pretend it never happened. It did. How are we going to get past it?”

“Fine…let’s talk. It pissed me off that you couldn’t tell me the truth. You’ve always claimed to be the self-righteous one, but yet you lied to me about something that important. It makes me wonder what else you have lied about.”

“I’ve never once claimed to be self-righteous. That’s you’re thinking. I’ve never lied to you in all my life, Nick. I didn’t lie to you this time, Nick. I just didn’t tell you. I kept that secret to myself. I was afraid.”

“What were you afraid of? I thought we talked about everything.” He sighed in frustration.

“I was afraid you would leave me and find another woman to have babies with. I was afraid you would forget about Jackson and Rachel.”

“What kind of man do you think I am? I would never leave you. I take my marriage vows seriously. It makes me mad thinking I would forget my children. Do you even know me?”

“Nick, I wasn’t thinking. My world was shattered, and I acted irrationally. I know it was wrong, but I can’t go back and change it.” I tried to get out of bed.

“Ashton, you can’t get out of bed. Let’s just calm down and continue talking. This was your idea and you’re running away.”

“Fine Nick. What made you decide to leave me?”

“Ashton you made it easy. You withdrew from me. You spent all your time working or with the kids. We never spent any time together. I was lonely.”

“That’s not true, Nick. We did spend time together.” I raised my voice. I was getting annoyed.

“When?  Oh, yes I remember now. We spent time in the same bed sleeping. We ate meals together where all the talking consisted of our jobs and kids. We never had us time. Someone was always in the room. The few times I had you alone, we barely said one word to each other.”

“But yet we continued to make love. Was that so you could get your release?” I spat at him. He was acting like it was my fault. It takes two to make a marriage work.

“God, Ashton. It was never like that. I cherished those few times we made love. That was the only time I felt close to you.” Nick got out of bed and put his boxers on.

“Oh.”

“Yeah Ashton, I tried to be close with you as much as possible. You pushed me away and you didn’t even realize it. You made me feel worthless. Then when I read that letter, I felt bad for you, but I felt bad for myself. What did I do so bad that my wife would start lying to me? I felt worthless all over again. I love you a lot Ashton. At the moment I don’t like you too much. Sometimes I think we aren’t meant to be together, but I love you too much to ever leave.” Nick walked to the door.

“So, you’re going to walk away. That’s typical.”

“Ashton, I don’t want to say anything I might regret. I think it might be better if we both cool down and discuss this again at a later point. You need your rest. I need a shower.” He slowly left he room.

I picked up a book and threw it at the door. My marriage was still falling apart. Could we make it through?