Chapter One-Hundred-Seventy-Eight
A few moments after Nick, Angel, and the girls left Jackie and Riley walked into the house, both of them with arms and hands full of groceries. Harold, Brian, Howie, and AJ immediately got to their feet.
“Mom! Why didn’t you tell us you had groceries? We would have come out and helped!”
“We didn’t think about it, we were too busy bonding,” Jackie answered and she and Riley disappeared into the kitchen. Brian shook his head in amusement and then he went after his father and the rest of the boys to help. As Howie came inside carrying two cartons of soda he looked over at Ryan who was playing with Laila.
“Ryan there are a few light ones out there, get out there and help please.”
“But-“
“-Now.” Ryan groaned and then set Laila’s toy cat down and he got up and went outside to help. Laila got up almost instantly and followed him. When she got out there she saw everybody grabbing bags out of the trunk of the van. Laila went straight for the first person she set eyes on – AJ.
“J!” AJ grinned.
“Hi precious,” he greeted her and he took out the lightest bag in there, which has the bread inside it, and he handed it to her. “Take that to Riley, can you do that for me?”
“Takes Riley?”
“That’s right. Follow Brian,” AJ explained and he pointed to Brian whom has his hands full. Brian stopped, turned around, and grinned widely at Laila.
“Come a long Laila,” he called to her. Laila turned with her bag of bread and she ran after Brian. AJ chuckled as he watched her approach him, grab hold of his pantleg and he led her into the house. AJ turned and grinned at Harold whom was watching him with amusement and a mixture of worry.
“God I love that baby,” he announced and he picked up a handful of bags and hurried after her. Harold shook his head and looked at Denise and the two of them exchanged looks of worry with one another.
“Should I say something to him Harold? I don’t want to break his heart but I can’t keep letting him get this attached to her either can I?”
“I think maybe you ought to remind him that Laila has a mother who is working on getting better…but break it to him gently.”
“Yeah…he just loves that little girl so much and I don’t blame him…I’m starting to fall for her too myself.”
“Mhm, she’s quite the charmer that Laila,” Harold agreed. Denise looked around for Ryan and when she saw that he had gone inside she looked back at Harold.
“Part of me hopes that Laila’s mother doesn’t get better so that Laila can be in Alex’s life forever but then I remember how much Ryan misses her and wants her back and then I feel incredibly selfish for even thinking such a thing. You know?”
“Yeah…well…if she does get better maybe the boys could form a friendship with her and keep the three of them in their life. I know Howie has been trying his hardest to get to know her, so maybe it won’t be over for AJ and Laila when her mother recovers.”
“I hope you’re right,” Denise replied as she and Harold grabbed up the last of the bags and went inside closing the door behind them. When they got into the kitchen they set the bags on the counter and Harold got right to work on unloading the bags and asking his wife where she wants everything.
“So are you going to tell me what you and my mom were up to all day or what?” Brian began his interrogation, and he slid his arms around Riley’s waist from behind and kissed the back of her neck softly. Riley exchanged a secret look with Jackie and Brian noticed it right off.
“Hey! No secrets!” he demanded playfully and Riley laughed.
“Nothing we just went shopping for Thanksgiving that’s all. We plan on staying up all night cooking.”
“Then why were you so vague about what you were doing this morning hmm?” He asked as he swooped her up into his arms over his shoulder. Riley shrieked and giggled as he brought her over to the counter and sat her down on a clean space. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers before looking into her eyes curiously.
“I will never tell,” Riley answered mysteriously and Brian narrowed his eyes at her making her laugh. She slid her arms around his neck and he kissed her nose.
“You’re a brat, you know that right?”
“Mhm, but you love me anyway,” Riley insisted. Brian chuckled and hugged her closer.
“Lucky you.”
“So what did you do all day? How was Brian and Josh time?”
“Pretty good. Josh, Nick, Dakota, and I all went on a double date to the mall.” Riley laughed amusedly.
“So let me guess…you and Nick were one couple while Dakota and Josh were the other?” Brian’s mouth hung open in shock and AJ just laughed.
“You set yourself up for that one dude, sorry.”
“You’re not right,” Brian insisted and Riley just smirked. Just then Howie’s phone rang and Riley and Brian looked at him curiously. Howie looked at the caller ID, groaned and then hit the talk button before placing it to his ear.
“Yes Mrs. Sawyer?” he asked in an aggravated tone and Ryan looked up from his book and at Howie who walked out of the kitchen.
“Who is Mrs. Sawyer?” Riley asked curiously.
“Ryan’s mother…he’s been arguing with her for the past few hours,” Harold answered.
“What are they arguing about?” AJ asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah and I thought she was only allowed limited phone time?” Brian added.
“I don’t know what they’re arguing about, He hasn’t had time to tell us because she keeps calling him and starting fights with him. I asked the same question earlier and he told me that Detective Stabler managed to get them to give her unlimited time because Ryan isn’t doing well.”
“Well if all she is doing is starting fights with him I wouldn’t be surprised if they take that unlimited time away from her.” Harold shrugged.
“I don’t know what’s going on.”
~*~*~*~*~
“Mrs. Sawyer, I really don’t have time to sit here and argue with you all day long. I have things to do like take care of your son and you have things to do like get better so you can be with him.”
“I didn’t call to argue with you, I called to talk to my son. That is ALL I care about.”
“Yeah, well he isn’t up to talking to you at the moment and if you cared about him at ALL you would let him have memories of his father!”
“It is too painful for me to have memories of him around, why do you think I ended up in this mess in the first place?”
“Yes well people grieve in completely different ways. You may not be able to face the memories but Ryan needs them! It is hurting him Mrs. Sawyer can’t you see that?”
“No I can’t. Because if you haven’t noticed I’m not there.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“That is not fair!”
“And it’s not fair to Ryan either that you’re making him suffer because you can’t handle it!”
“It is not going to happen.”
“Fine. Be a cruel selfish bitch. No wonder your son is so bitter and mean – he is being exactly like you.” Howie replied, as he has lost all his patience and pity for this woman.
“I hate you! I don’t want you taking care of my children anymore!”
“Well that is just too bad because I am not going anywhere!”
“I will get them to take Ryan and Laila away from you people!”
“Go right on ahead and try it sweetheart. But you will soon learn how close Detective Stabler and I are.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“If that’s what I am for telling you how it is, fine. But you need to hear it – badly.”
“Let me talk to my son.”
“We’ve already been through this. He doesn’t want to.”
“You can’t deny me the right to talk to my kids.”
“No, you are right. But I can’t force them to talk to you either – I could give the phone to Ryan but he tends to do as he pleases. Laila however, would probably love to talk to her mother – you have not asked to talk to her at all.”
“She would not understand why I have disappeared from her life she is too little to understand. I would prefer to just wait until I can see her in person.”
“Figures,” Howie replied while rolling his eyes.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, nothing…don’t talk to her for all I care. But don’t blame me when your daughter has no memory of you by the time she gets to visit you.”
“She wouldn’t forget her mother!”
“If you say so. But two year olds tend to only remember the people who are constantly in their lives – you have been absent for a pretty long time…and she is having the time of her life here.”
“Oh all right, let me talk to her then!”
“Well not if you don’t really want to,” Howie replied while grinning a little. He knew his guilt trip would work.
“I want to. Let me talk to my baby,” Mrs. Sawyer pleaded.
“On one condition.”
“I shouldn’t have to do you any favors in order to talk to my baby!”
“Yes you should. Because it is me who has to hand over the phone…”
“And that is so hard, right? Handing over a phone?”
“No…It’s pretty easy. But so is telling me where to find pictures of your husband.”
“I already told you it’s too painful.”
“Well I’m not asking for them so that you can have them am I? I don’t see what the big deal is when Ryan is here and you’re there – it shouldn’t even affect you!”
“Let me talk to Laila and then I will tell you.”
“What do you think I’m stupid?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
“No, I would prefer an answer to my first question.” There was a long pause between Howie and Mrs. Sawyer.
“In my room in a shoe box on the top shelf of my closet…there are some pictures.”
“And how about video tapes? You had home videos somewhere of him and his father. Ryan needs to hear the sound of his father’s voice – and how about cologne so he can remember the way he smelled?”
“Rick kept a whole box full of home videos of him, Ryan, and me together…the box is in his office. You can find the key to the office in my top drawer. He wore the cologne called ‘Lucky’. There isn’t any in the house though…I accidentally broke the bottle during a break down. It was his last…it was the last one before he…”
“—It’s okay I get it. Thanks…” Howie replied in a somewhat gentle tone now that she was finally coming to her senses. And she sounds so fragile at the mention of her husband’s death that it breaks his heart.
“May I talk to Laila now please?” she asked and he can tell she is choking back sobs.
“Are you in good condition to talk to her? It wouldn’t be a good thing if I gave the phone to her and she heard you breaking down like this,” Howie asked gently.
“And you actually care if I’m okay or not?”
“I care about Laila very much and the last thing I want is for her to hear her mommy having a break down and get upset.”
“How very kind of you.”
“Yes well, we assholes have our moments,” Howie replied while rolling his eyes some and he walked into the kitchen causing everybody to look at him including Ryan. Howie went over to Laila and he sat down on the floor in front of her as she sat there playing and she looked up at him curiously. AJ watched him protectively from over on the other side of the kitchen.
“owie!” Laila exclaimed cheerfully and Howie smiled at her.
“Hi sweetheart.”
“owie plays?” She asked while holding her little toy duck up to him.
“Maybe in a little bit. How would you like to talk to your mommy?”
“Mommy?” Laila asked softly, and she suddenly looked very confused. She looked around the kitchen as if for the first time realizing she doesn’t have her mommy with her. Her eyes suddenly fixed on the most familiar person in the room and her eyes watered up slightly.
“J?” AJ rushed over to her and he sat down next to her and scooped her up into his arms.
“I’m right here baby,” he reassured and he hugged her close to him and kissed her cheek. Laila snuggled into him as she made pouty lips. “Your mommy is on the phone,” he explained to her while pointing to Howie’s cell phone. “She misses you and wants to talk to you. How about it Laila?” Howie placed the phone to Laila’s ear and held it for her. Laila did not say a word but Mrs. Sawyer could hear her sniffles and hiccups and could tell she was there.
“Hi baby…it’s me, your mommy.” She spoke to her gently.
“Hi mommy…” Laila spoke softly.
“Are you having fun?”
"Yesth."
“I miss you baby...”
“Misses mommy…” Laila replied and she scowled and shoved the phone away and she buried her face in AJ’s chest and whimpered. AJ rubbed his hand over her back as he hugged her close to him protectively and he bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead as Howie placed his phone back on his own ear.
“I think she’s done now…she’s really upset right now.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset her…” Mrs. Sawyer replied and Howie could hear her start to cry.
“It’s all right…she just doesn’t understand. AJ will have her calm in no time; he knows what to do. You just concentrate on getting better all right? Your baby needs you.”
“I want to talk to AJ. Why hasn’t AJ shown any interest in meeting me? If he’s taking care of my little girl I want to know him.”
“Tomorrow…” Howie answered while rubbing his temples. “Laila needs him right now.” He talked to her for a few moments more and when he finally turned the phone off he reached over and wiped Laila’s tears away as her face was half hidden in AJ’s shirt and half peeking out at him.
“She wants to talk to you Aje, I told her tomorrow,” Howie explained. AJ nodded.
“You keep calling her Mrs. Sawyer…what’s her real name?”
“Lindsey,” Howie answered. “Her and I don’t exactly see eye to eye so I haven’t even bothered to get into a first name bases with her.”
“I see,” AJ replied. Howie looked over at Ryan who was sitting there listening with watery eyes and then he looked back at AJ.
“AJ come here for a moment, I need to talk to you about something. Brian will you get Detective Stabler on the phone for me?”
“What for?”
“Just do it. I’ll explain in a little bit,” Howie replied, and he got up from sitting on the floor. A curious AJ did the same and he followed Howie into the living room with Laila in his arms. When they got in there AJ shut the door behind him and then looked at Howie with a raised eyebrow.
“What’s up?”
“You wear Lucky cologne right?”
“Sometimes…why?”
“Do you have a bottle of it with you by any chance?”
“Not on me, but I have some upstairs in my bags.”
“Great! Go get it for me please? Ryan and Laila’s father wore it and it would comfort Ryan to remember how his father smelled.”
“Okay,” AJ replied and he carried Laila upstairs with him. Just then Brian came out of the kitchen with his cell phone and Howie looked at him.
“I got him. Please don’t be too long D, I need to start getting Nick’s surprise for Ashley ready.”
“I won’t, it’ll only be a couple of minutes.” Howie reassured and he took the phone from Brian and placed it to his ear.
“Hey Elliot.”
“Hi Howie, what’s going on?”
“I got Lindsey to tell me where the pictures and home videos of Rick are. The pictures are upstairs in her bedroom closet in a shoebox and the home videos are locked up in Rick’s office. You can find the key in Lindsey’s top drawer. I know it would be pointless for you to send them here to me now since we will be home on Monday but can you maybe fax a picture over to us so that Ryan can have at least something?”
“Yeah of course. It’ll take me thirty minutes to get there though, is that okay?”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
“Okay cool.”
“You know The Littrell’s fax machine number right?”
“Mhm, I was just faxing something to Marcus earlier.”
“All right I’ve gotta go now. Brian needs his phone.”
“Okay bye.”
“Bye,” Howie replied and he hit the off button and handed the phone back to Brian and Brian went back into the kitchen again just as AJ came downstairs with his small bottle of Lucky cologne. When he got downstairs and had approached Howie he handed it over.
“Cool…thanks Alex, Ryan is going to love this.”
“No problem – if this will get the kid to see I am not such a bad guy then I will do anything. Howie wrapped his arm around AJ’s shoulders and the two of them went into the kitchen together. When they were in there Howie went over and sat in the chair next to Ryan who was looking up at him curiously.
“What is that Howie?” He asked softly.
“Something that I want you to smell…I think you will like it.” Howie answered as he took the top off of the bottle and held it out to Ryan. Ryan leaned over and sniffed it and the moment he did his eyes watered up with tears.
“Daddy…”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.
Enjoy =)
Enjoy =)
