Chapter Two-Hundred-Eighty-Five
After a long while of holding Sean while he went through his meltdown, Trevor looked down at him as he noticed he was suddenly quiet and at peace and he found him asleep. His highly distressed lover had fallen asleep curled up in his arms, stray tears lingering on his cheeks. Trevor lightly brushed them away with his finger and he gazed down at him in deep thought, as he caressed his face with his fingers, his touch hardly disturbing him. What in the world are you not telling me Sean? he wondered to himself. He hates not knowing what goes on in his mind because then how is he supposed to stop him from making impulsive actions? Plus, he thought that he knew everything there is to know about him too. His horrible past, all of the mistakes he’s made growing up, everything.
But the idea that there is one thing he doesn’t know makes him feel very much out of the loop and it scares him. Trevor lay there gazing down at him for awhile, before leaning forward and placing a light kiss on his forehead. He pulled the blanket up on him and he got up from the bed and crossed the room to clean up the mess Sean created. He picked up the broken pieces to the picture frame and put them in the garbage can, before picking up the picture of Sean’s father and he looked at the man he himself has hated since his childhood. The abusive man whose name was Caleb Ellerbee had died of drug abuse and lung cancer due to smoking. And what an irony it is that his son who suffered deeply from it should turn to the very same addiction. Trevor shook his head, happy that he finally got him off of that stuff.
Though, he can’t really talk seeing as how he himself had an addiction of it too and didn’t stop until Sean broke him out of jail. He needed a clear mind in order to take care of Sean because Shelly certainly didn’t have the balls to do it. Though, don’t get him wrong, he had nothing against the woman except for the small fact that she had what he wanted. But he always loved her anyway and he is happy that she got herself out. She really couldn’t handle Sean and she was miserable. No one could handle the burden of Sean – that’s his job and he was hired at the age of five. Why he was given such a burden so young, who knows? All he knew was that Sean needed him and he didn’t need anyone to tell him that. He just sensed it. Maybe it was the fact that his father was a doctor and had a need for helping everybody even when they didn’t ask for it and that gene just got passed down to him at a really young age. Or maybe it was just destiny’s very subtle way of saying that this is your life long partner so grab him before it’s too late! Not that he was aware at the age of five years old that he was going to be gay or anything, but destiny obviously was.
Shaking his head, Trevor stood up and placed the picture of Sean’s father on top of the dresser before glancing over at him and determining how deeply asleep he is. Will he be asleep for the rest of the night, or will he suddenly wake up the minute he walks out the door? He would really like for him to stay asleep; otherwise he can’t do what he wants to do. What he needs to do. Deciding to test him on this, he headed to do the door and walked out of the room, before turning and glancing back in at Sean. Still asleep. He closed the door then just a crack so that he would be able to see in with one eye. He did just that, and still Sean made no indication that he is going to wake up. Next he closed the door all the way and he listened for the bedsprings to move as his lover sits up disoriented and confused. Or for him to call for him and tell him to come back. No noise. Sighing with relief, Trevor quietly padded down the stairs and he picked up the phone and dialed Shelly’s phone number hoping to god that she hadn’t changed her number the moment she walked out of Sean’s life. The phone rang a few times, and then Shelly picked up.
“This better not be who I think it is, because if it is, you might as well hang up now. I’m done with him.”
“Hey Shell…you’re fine, I know you’re done with him and believe me I’m not planning on asking you to come back” Trevor reassured.
“What do you want then?” she asked, and Trevor swears she can hear the amusement in her voice and he rolled his eyes. She must know. She must’ve known all along.”
“Can’t a guy call and ask an old friend how she is doing?”
“I’m doing fine,” Shelly replied, still sounding suspicious. “Really great actually.”
“Yeah? What are you up to?”
“Well I went and saw the guy I mentioned in my letter to Sean to start with. We were seeing each other for awhile and he helped me become clean and sober again.”
“That’s great,” Trevor smiled. “I’m glad you were able to do that. You said ‘were seeing each other for awhile’ though, are you not together anymore?”
“Not at the moment, we’re having troubles with our relationship – nothing too bad, just the long distance thing is a real issue. As soon as I got clean and sober again and my head was clear I started to think about my life and stuff and decided I wanted to go to college.”
“Wow, really?” Trevor asked impressed, his eyes actually going big at the information. He never took Shelly for a college going girl.
“Yeah, pretty crazy huh? I’m in Seattle right now and I’m studying to become a marine biologist.”
“That’s awesome,” Trevor replied. “I knew you always had a fascination in dolphins. That’s really great Shell, I’m happy for you” he told her, and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy in the pit of his stomach. He would love to pursue his doctor dream but his responsibility is with Sean. He can’t leave him or he’ll end up doing something incredibly stupid – or worse, getting himself killed and there is no life for him without Sean. Plus his face is all over the place; there is no chance of that dream anymore.
“Its great Trev. I am really glad that I became clean and sober long enough to really see the light you know? You could do the same if you wanted to. Its easy to turn your life around – I mean getting sober and clean was quite a bitch, but once you get past that…”
“Yeah…I have responsibilities here.”
“Oh, right,” Shelly replied, and he can just see her rolling her eyes. “How is my ex-husband doing anyway?”
“He is actually a completely different person then he was when you left, believe it or not” Trevor replied, feeling the need to stick up for his lover. Its not like he is lying to her though, there is truth to that.
“And you do know why that is, right?”
“He loved you very much Shell,” Trevor insisted, misinterpreting her question. “Why do you think he let you go? If it were anyone else, he wouldn’t have. He was just…on a lot of drugs.”
“Yeah, I know he loved me” Shelly laughed. “And I know he was only like that because the drugs were fucking him up” She added. “But he didn’t love me as much as he loves you.”
“He does love me an awful lot,” Trevor bragged playfully and she laughed.
“Well I’m glad that my leaving finally brought you a little bit of happiness. Though I still think you shouldn’t let him hold you back.”
“I think the door for my dream has long been closed already. It went up into smoke as soon as my face started appearing everywhere as wanted. I would be lying if I said that I won’t miss it, but I love Sean. Someone has to…right?”
“You never did tell me how he was doing.”
“Well, when you left he decided he needed drugs and dragged me off to the most dangerous drug dealers there are and ended up being shot in the waist for it causing me to have to play doctor on him. If I weren’t there though, he would’ve died. He just recently recovered from that.”
“That’s Sean for you,” Shelly replied, sounding unsurprised.
“Now he’s healthy again, and has gone back to ranting and raving about everything. I have to deal with a tantrum at least once every day, but like I said he IS doing better. I am starting to see signs in him that makes me think I can save him.”
“Are you sure you don’t just wish with all your heart that you can save him and it’s giving you false hope?” Shelly asked gently. “Because I know Sean, and honey I really don’t think he can be. We lost him back in junior high.”
“I don’t think we did – not entirely,” Trevor insisted firmly. “There are times when he is completely mean and nasty and then there are other times when I see the Sean that I’ve always known and love.”
“I never saw that side to him hon, you are the only one. There are times when I was often extremely jealous of you.”
“Well he hasn’t been like that for a very long time, but Ellie brought it out of him very recently.”
“Elenore? You two have Elenore back?”
“No, she’s still with the Backstreet Boy. Sean actually gave her up.”
“WHAT?”
“Yeah surprising huh? He did it out of the goodness of his heart that I’ve always known was there deep down inside. I didn’t even tell him to, he just did. He realized he wasn’t a good father and that she deserves better so he posed as Santa Claus one day when she was at the mall with the Backstreet Boy and he told her himself that she can stay with Kevin.”
“Wow, really?” Shelly asked disbelieving.
“Yeah. And recently she’s been insisting upon writing letters to Sean and using Max as her own personal delivery boy behind the Backstreet Boy’s back begging and pleading for him to stop hurting people because she is scared for him and doesn’t want him to die. I think she some how realizes how serious the consequences for me and Sean could be if we ever got caught.”
“How does Sean react to these letters?” Shelly asked intrigued.
“Well, he’s only gotten one so far, but that one little letter was so heart filled that he stormed upstairs and cried. There’s that, and then just the way he is with me when nobody is around, and the way he’s been battling with Dr Jeykll and Mr. Hyde…so to speak. He’s been exposed to good so much that he is so confused and doesn’t know what to do.”
“That’s really interesting.”
“Now do you see why I think he can be saved?”
“Well…if that is true, then its you that is going to make it happen you know that right?”
“Me, and maybe some help from Ellie. She’s Sean’s daughter, there is no way she and her stubborn self is going to suddenly decide to obey him and stop writing.”
“Yeah, that kid doesn’t follow orders no matter what you do. Why do you think I got rid of her?”
“Well, this time I don’t mind so much.”
“What is Sean doing now? Does he know you are talking to me?”
“No, he’s asleep. I just got done comforting him in one of his meltdowns and he fell asleep. I actually have a question for you…” Shelly laughed.
“I knew you didn’t just call me to ask me how I was doing.”
“Well it was a big part of the reason.”
“Okay, so what’s the question?”
“I think Sean is keeping something from me and it is really worrying me. I was kind of hoping that maybe you would know what it is. During his meltdown he started screaming and crying about how he hates his father and what he’s done to him. Then toward the end of it he informed me that he really wants to kill Kori and Ashley in this low menacing voice and stated that he wont rest until he does. When I asked why them, he just told me ‘because I can’, but he had this really far away look in his eyes. Has he ever shared with you the reason why he wants to kill them? Other then the obvious reason, that his father fucked him up and Kori pissed him off?”
“No, I have no idea…sorry. I know as much as you do.”
“Damn…” Trevor muttered.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine…I guess I’ll just have to keep trying to put the puzzle pieces together. I’ll find out sooner or later though, I always do.”
“Well I wish you the best of luck with that. But honey I really have to go. It was nice talking to you though…don’t be a stranger okay?”
“I wont I promise. It was good hearing from you too. Bye,” Trevor replied, smiling.
“Bye,” she replied, and the two of them hung up. Trevor sighed and closed his phone before shoving it in his pocket and he stood there thinking for a few moments. After awhile of thinking he headed on up to the attic deciding that for the first time since him and Sean moved into the house, he would go through his father’s old things. Which was another thing he wanted to do when Sean wasn’t around.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile back at the Orphanage, Ashley, Dakota, Sarah, Kori, Riley, and Denise were all sitting in Nick’s room having their girl night. Dakota and Sarah were each sitting on either side of Ashley and were snuggling up with her as she had Bella lying comfortably against her legs. They have the movie Ten Things I Hate About You playing in the background, but none of them are really paying attention.
“So Kor, how did things go tonight with Spencer and Scott? Spencer seemed more clingy with Scott then usual, so I take it you told him?” Riley asked curiously, as they all sat there munching on popcorn, the kids each eating a bowl of ice cream.
“Yeah, we told him…but we didn’t really need to, he already guessed he was just waiting for our confirmation and was mighty angry with me when I was being evasive with him.”
“How did he take it?” Ashley asked curiously, reaching around Dakota and gently taking one of her sister’s hands in hers as she remembers she seemed stressed out when they were talking on the phone earlier.
“At first he was upset and angry with Scott over the fact that he hasn’t been around for four years but when Scott explained himself he was able to forgive him simply for the fact that he just wanted his father in his life very badly.”
“Aww,” Denise replied. “Well I’m glad that he finally gets that. I bet he feels whole now that he has both of his parents.”
“He does, he’s very happy” Kori replied, and she couldn’t help but smile a bit at the memory of watching father and son play arcade games earlier at Peter Piper, and then in the park. Sure she’s seen Scott and Spencer together many times before, but it’s a lot different now that Spencer knows the truth.
“But?” Riley asked, knowing that it was coming.
“I’m just so confused,” Kori confessed, the emotions she’s been holding inside since earlier at Peter Piper threatening to explode but she fought with all her might to keep them at bay. Ashley however, wasn’t fooled. A girl always knows when her sister is struggling even when she doesn’t show it. She squeezed her hand gently.
“About what sis?” she asked curiously.
“Everything…I just don’t know what to do. How does one handle being in love with two different people at the same time?”
“Ah…” Riley replied, understanding completely. “I was in that situation once…it’s not easy.”
“What’d you do about it?” Kori asked, not even thinking clearly.
“I didn’t have to do anything. The bastard I was married with cheated on me so I left him for the one whom made me happiest and catered to my needs. Now I’m just waiting on the slow poke to propose already.”
“Yeah, well Wi would never cheat on me, so I’m stuck with making a very huge decision here.”
“You’re still in love with Scott? After all you’ve done to try and keep him away?” Ashley asked, wanting to make things clear. Kori nodded quietly, looking down at her lap.
“I don’t know what happened. I guess the feelings have always been there, but he hurt me so I was suppressing them and trying to move on with Wiley who I know is safe. But…well…he’s been so sweet lately and the way he is with Spencer my feelings for him just came pouring out again. Plus it’s something I’ve always wanted you know? I’ve always wanted him to be here for Spencer and me. But I’m so confused because I love Wiley now too and I want a life with him in Jersey really bad. I don’t want to do anything to hurt him, or to jeopardize that. That’s not fair to him.”
“Do you really love Wiley?” Ashley double-checked, even though she already knows the answer. She knows her sister loves him; she can see it everytime she looks at him. Everytime she talks about him. And she is finally starting to accept that.
“Yes, I do.”
“Enough to try and make it work?” Kori nodded, not giving the answer any kind of thought. She does love Wiley, and she does want to make it work. The last thing she wants to do is hurt him. He’s been so great to her for the past four years. So loving and so dedicated. And here she is, thinking about throwing that away for her ex boyfriend…the man who ripped her heart out and left her all alone with their son. How horrible can she be?”
“Then yeah Kor, you are right. You have a very big decision here. An important decision that doesn’t only impact you, but Spencer as well. Either you try your very hardest to put your feelings for Scott in the past and make a future with Wiley, or you tell Wiley you just can’t do it and end things with him before things get worse. Cause yes, you are right. He doesn’t deserve to get his heartbroken. He’s going to be hurt anyway, because the man loves you anyone can see that, but at least it would be taken care of now before things get way worse then it already is.”
“Ashley is right,” Denise spoke up. “Don’t put him through this if you’re not sure you can make it work.”
“Yeah and I’m pretty sure you are giving Scott mixed signals with all of this confusion too,” Ashley added. “And it’s not fair to him either. One minute you make him think that he still has a chance with you, and then the next you’re yelling at him and telling him it’s over. I think you really need to make up your mind. As soon as possible…for everybody. If you want to be with Wiley, make that clear so that Scott can try his hardest to move on because if you haven’t noticed he is still very much in love with you. If you want to be with Scott then tell Wiley because he deserves to know.”
“I don’t know what I want, that’s the problem…” Kori replied softly while hugging her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knee. “It’s so confusing...”
“No one is asking you to make the decision right away honey,” Riley replied gently, reaching over and rubbing her hand over her back in a slow circular motion. “You just need to make one soon…because there are two very great guys involved here, and they both deserve to know where they stand.” Kori nodded quietly and she looked at Riley.
“So Ri…how are things going with you and Brian?” she asked, wanting to direct the conversation away from her and Riley broke out into story. Kori and Denise sat listening interestedly, but Ashley sat there quietly gazing at her sister. She is secretly feeling glad that she didn’t start looking for another girl for Scott. The last thing they need is for her to add more people to this drama. It is very clear that she needs to wait until Kori makes her final decision. She has a feeling there are all ready going to be enough hearts broken in the end, they don’t need anymore.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.
Enjoy =)
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