Chapter 27
Nick was slowly getting used to walking without his cast on but he still limped. His chest was sore even though the broken ribs had healed. Amanda was watching him and saw that he looked very thin...he had not been eating much since the accident. She was a bit worried about how thin her fiance was, he looked just as he did when he went to go live with Brian's family.
"Nick?"
"Mhmmm?" he mumbled. His face was pale....bony. He stood right in front of Amanda and she put her arms around him....but pulled back a little when she felt his back. He was too thin and she couldn't get the image of him out of her head...a 15 year old Nick covered in bruises.
"You look different." she pointed out, running her hand through his hair. It was longer than he usually kept it...past his eyebrows. He had let it grow since he couldn't get out of bed to go to a salon.
"What do you mean? I feel fine." he said. She knew he was lying, he was in pain. Nick had a bad habit of hiding things....and he wasn't good at it. Amanda always knew when something troubled him, it was like she sensed it.
"That's not what I mean. You look like you did when I came back during high school....at 15." she said uneasily. Nick frowned at her. He didn't like to be reminded of that time in his life.
"Baby?" Nick didn't answer her....he walked away in silence, still limping slightly. He stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom that afternoon looking at himself.
"I feel fine. Why do people say I'm sick?" he whispered. He took off his shirt and stared at his own body.
"She's right...." a voice said suddenly in his mind. He shook it away and stared harder. He could see a scar running up his shoulder...partially covered by a tattoo of a shark but he could still tell it was there. Nick felt ugly...more than he had felt in a long time. His body was too thin and he was so pale that he looked like a ghost.
"I gotta fix this..." he whispered to himself. He hated looking this way. It was then that she entered his mind once more...you're ugly....
"No." he protested, closing his eyes while he put the white t shirt back on. He walked out of the bathroom and promptly went to the kitchen. He knew he had to gain the weight back, knew he needed to fix it.
Over the next few days, Nick began to change....Amanda saw it happen slowly. She was worried about him, seeing him eating more and talking less. He became depressed and moody, shutting her out.
"Nicky, what's wrong? You know you can talk to me." Amanda said to him during dinner. Nick just shook his head and did not say anything. After eating, Nick went on the internet to do a search for himself.
"....Nick Carter looking deathly ill..." a caption said under the picture on twitter. Nick winced at it. The t shirt he wore hung off of him and his face looked bony...his clothes were loose.
"He's washed up...he should just not bother coming back..." another fan said. Nick's eyes scanned further down the screen at his fans comments. How could they say such things to him?
"He looks awful...I don't know why his girlfriend stays with him. No wonder he went to that appointment with his friend, I wouldn't want to be seen with him either."
Nick's eyes teared as he read the tweets. He had no idea he looked that bad.
"See, Nickolas? They all can see it...why can't you?"
"Stop it." Nick muttered. His stomach was churning from eating too much before...he didn't feel well but went to the kitchen to eat again. He heard Amanda and Brian talking in the other room, he knew he shouldn't listen but he stood by the door anyway, balancing the ice cream carton in his arm.
"I don't know what to do, Brian. He just mopes around the house lately."
"Did you try talking to him?"
"I did, but he won't tell me what's wrong. I heard him cry this morning...he just sits there looking depressed."
"Try again. Somethings bothering him." Brian told her. Nick felt angry that they acted like he was a child.
"I am so busy with JC and the club right now. I don't need this." Amanda replied with a sigh.
"JC was a good thing...the clubs doing well, I always see it busy. No need for Nick to come back..." Brian said. He didn't need to hear anymore. Nick walked away and put the carton back in the freezer...disgusted with himself. He wanted to sing...the stage was his home and he felt helpless. Amanda had already found someone else...he didn't blame her. It was only a matter of time before Nick lost everything, and he knew he couldn't stop it. The depression was creeping into him and Nick felt horrible. He hated what he was becoming, and worried if he could climb back out of the hole before it was too late.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Back with a new chapter! Enjoy!
