- Text Size +
Chapter Thirty Nine

"We're going to the ice-capades!" Brayden sang. He had on this huge white fuzzy coat that made him look like a polar bear.

"The ice charades!" Tristan sang even louder.

"Dudes, it's just Disney on Ice," Joe said.

"I love Disney on Ice," Ally said happily.

It was three days after Christmas. I had tried to spend every possible moment I could with Mason.

I never wanted this break to end.

Nick had called dad the night before about Disney on Ice tickets. Dad had quickly agreed to go, especially after Tristan started SCREAMING about meeting Mickey Mouse. I guess he didn't remember peeing on him when we went to Disney a couple years ago.

Of course, as usual whenever the McLeans and Carters got together, there was one problem. This time it involved Landon. Usually Nick's sister Angel was available to babysit, but her son Logan was doing something and they were out of town.

So dad volunteered Mason and me for the job.

"Consider it good practice," he said lightly.

That was how Mason and I ended up at Nick Carter's house on a Friday night.

"Bottles are in the refrigerator. Check the temperature on your wrist to make sure they don't get too hot when you microwave them. Extra diapers are in the hall closet. Call me if you need anything," Liv said.

Mason smiled. "Got it."

He was way calmer than I was. I hadn't been left alone with a baby as young as Landon before. I was holding Landon as we walked around and got the 'tour'. I looked down into his little face. He was almost three months old now. He gurgled up a lot of bubbly drool.

"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!" Peyton squealed. I looked over. She was jumping on the couch wearing those black plastic mouse ears with her name written on the front. Nick grabbed her mid-bounce.

"I hope they sing some of the songs from The Little Mermaid," Brooke whispered to Ally. Ally nodded enthusiastically.

"I've got some music for ya," Joe said. He stuck his hand under his arm and began to make squelching noises. The girls wrinkled their noses. Noah grinned.

"Alright troops, heading out!" dad said. Tristan and Brayden were both wiggled into those backpack things with leashes on them. Usually I think those things are stupid, but I knew how easily those two could put their heads together and disappear.

"We'll be back in about four hours," Nick said. "We're going to Chuck E. Cheese after the show."

Nick and dad shared a look.

"Are we allowed back in there?" dad asked. Nick laughed.

"It's been a long time."

They started talking about plastic tubes and Barney. I heard my name mentioned a couple of times.

And then they were gone.

I glanced at Mason. He looked at me. We both looked down at Landon resting in my arms. He was wide awake.

"I guess we can go sit in the living room," I said. Mason followed me and I sat down on the couch.

I was holding Landon like I was afraid at any moment I might drop him. He began to wiggle. The wiggling was soon accompanied by loud cries of protest.

"Liv mentioned he likes this play mat thing," Mason said. I handed him over. Mason knelt down and put him on his stomach and then held up his hands like he surrendered.

Landon gave a couple more cries and then quieted down. Mason smiled and sprawled out. He put his face close to Landon's and blew a raspberry.

And wouldn't you know it, he got a sweet toothless smile from the little guy.

"Was that all you needed?" Mason said. He touched Landon's nose. I heard a happy gurgle and them more little spit bubbles came flying out everywhere. Landon lifted his head a little bit to get a better look at Mas.

I slowly slid off the couch and sat down next to the mat. Landon was happy for, oh, about a half hour and then started to whine. I picked him up and put him on his back.

A little plastic arch was attached to the mat and along that arch were little toys dangling down. I tapped at a noisy little bell. Landon's eyes followed it. His little tomato red face slowly regained normal color. He reached his hand up.

"This isn't so bad," Mason said with a smile.

I'm pretty sure Mason's confidence jinxed us. Fast forward an hour later, and I was positive that I was never going to be able to do this for real. The screams had almost reached 'glass shatter' level.

"Why is he crying?" Mason shouted above the noise.

I had tried to feed him. That hadn't worked. I had tried to change him. That was way overdue, but it didn't stop his crying. I had put him in the baby swing. That only made him madder.

Now I was walking around patting him on the back with the shrill sounds ringing in my ear.

"Can you take him for a little bit?" I asked. I was getting tired...or maybe just grumpy.

Mason took him and began to walk the floor. I went and sat down. My back hurt. But then I had to pee. So I got up and made my way to the bathroom.

By the time I came back, there was quiet.

For one irrational moment, I wondered if Mason had duct taped his mouth or something.

Instead, Mason was stretched out on the couch with Landon on his chest. I saw the reason for the quiet. I felt like an idiot.

Landon was greedily sucking on a pacifer. The little plastic ring was bobbing up and down and his little legs twitched with happiness.

"Are you kidding me?"

Mason smiled. "I was feeling like a failure, and then I remembered Liv said something about pacifiers and sanity, so..."

I sighed.

"I'm going to be a crappy mother. You've got him to stop crying twice." I felt a hot tear roll down my cheek.

"Shel, you're going to be fine. We'll be fine."

His words made me feel better, but my body had already decided to open up the waterworks and I couldn't find the off switch. I went into a full on bawl.

"I'm going to be a fat cow and then I'm going to have to push this thing out and then it's still going to like you more than me," I blubbered.

Mason was looking at me like I was insane.

"Shel..."

This sucked. I knew I was being an idiot and yet the whole thing was just getting to me. Even Landon seemed to be looking at me like I had lost my last marble. Mason reached out and took my hand.

"Hey, would ice cream make you feel better? I think I saw some in their freezer."

I sniffled. Ice cream did sound good. I mean, if I was going to be a lousy mother I might as well just drown my sorrows in creamy goodness, right?

"That sounds good," I said in a small voice.

"Alright, hold Landon. I'll be right back."

He passed the little guy to me. Landon's fingers grabbed a hunk of my hair and his face snuggled into my chest. All I heard was the rhythmic 'suck suck suck' of the pacifer. And a little contented sigh.

I had gotten a happy sigh!

I looked down. His eyes were drooping. I heard the distinct sound of a ice cream scoop being warmed under the water.

Ice cream made everything better. I closed my eyes and sank back into the cushiony softness of the recliner. Landon's little sleepy breaths sounded nice, especially compared to his cries. I propped my feet on the coffee table.

Maybe Mason could just eat my ice cream. Sleep sounded so much better right now.

This baby thing was hard work.