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Chapter Forty Nine

"I don't think I've ever seen you in a one-piece swimsuit before."

Kay lowered her sunglasses.

"I just gave birth six weeks ago. Gimme a break."

I smiled. "Well, you look great. Bikini great."

Kay snorted. I knew she didn't believe me, but I was telling the truth. She didn't look like she did before, gone was the teenager's body.

She had gone straight to woman. She was hips and boobs.

I was a little bit jealous of the boobs.

It was the end of June and it was sweltering in Florida. The cup of ice I had sitting beside my chaise had gone completely to water. Kay and I hadn't had a lot of time to just do 'girl' things. A big annoyance, almost known as my brother, had her complete attention.

This was the first day I had put into effect a 'Noah' ban. So far, it was working well.

"Baylee sent me a video on my phone last night," Kay said. "Look."

She handed her phone to me. I shielded my eyes. My little nephew was holding his head up. I smiled.

"Aw, he did a little man push up," I said.

Kay laughed. "Kinda. Did you see a little hair?"

I squinted. Kay was obsessed about the hair. He still looked totally bald to me. "That might just be a shadow," I said honestly.

Kay made a face; I handed her phone back.

"They're coming for your birthday, right?" I asked.

"Yeah. I can't wait. I think seeing Brody will be the best birthday present," Kay said earnestly.

"I was pretty happy with a car for my 16th," I said. Kay laughed.

"I don't drive."

"Don't you want to? Ever?"

Kay tapped her nails against her lenses. "Why? No one drives in New York except cabbies."

I puckered my lips. Kay always looked at the smaller picture. "We'll agree to disagree. I love the power of being behind the wheel."

Kay snickered. "How's Jasper like your thirst for power?"

I kicked off my flip-flops and wiggled my toes. Just the mention of Jasper had me feeling all warm and tingly. I loved being in love. "I don't think he minds," I said lightly. Kay flipped over onto her stomach. She slid her suit straps down.

I closed my eyes and soaked up the sun. Jasper's gorgeous face floated behind my eyelids. I was leaving for Europe right after Kay's birthday. The Backstreet Boys had twelve sold out shows. Their opening act (aka me) couldn't have been more excited.

The Brits loved my dad; I hoped they would learn to love me.

"How'd your doctor's visit go?" I asked after awhile. I flipped over onto my stomach. I pressed my cheek against my towel.

"Good. I got the Mirena put in. Not that Noah and I are planning on putting it's effectiveness to the test for awhile," Kay said.

"You'd be surprised how creative you can get when you're abstinent," I said.

"You and Jasper haven't?" Kay asked. I shook her head.

"Nope."

"He's pretty hot."

I smiled. That was putting it mildly. I was so proud of myself for not tying him down and having my way with him. Ugh.

"Tell me about it. I'm not saying I haven't seen the whole thing, but..." I trailed off.

"I think you're stronger than I am," Kay said seriously. I closed my eyes again.

"You have no idea how much you getting pregnant affected me," I said softly. "And trust me. You're much stronger than I am. I couldn't have done what you did."

"What? Give birth?" Kay asked.

A quick peek over at her showed me the tears that were pooling in her eyes. "You know what I mean."

Kay sighed. "I don't want to have to make that choice ever again," she said.

I yawned. It was hard being lazy, even for one day. "Well, if I end up with Jasper, I'm destined to have a big family," I said lazily. "You heard him in your hospital room."

Kay smiled. "Six kids?"

"There goes the days of me dancing in a body suit," I complained. Kay laughed.

"I don't think I'm going to think about babies again until I'm at least thirty," Kay declared.

"You and me both," I assured her. "I need to ride my success during my peak years."

"Because thirty is ancient," Kay said mockingly. I laughed.

"In the music business, it can be."

We fell into companionable silence. I had been thinking about the struggle of balancing a career and a family. If, and it was still only an if, Jasper proposed to me, I knew that I didn't want to get married until I was at least twenty five. I didn't want to have my first child until twenty seven or twenty eight. I could tour with one child, maybe two...but after that...

After that the music would need to take a backseat. Dad had taught me well that family came first.

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"There goes my tootsie roll! Yay Megan!"

Taryn began to cry. Mom scooped her up and covered her face in kisses.

"Does Taryn roll over yet?" Kay asked. Mom shook her head.

"No. I think she's getting frustrated seeing her sister doing something she can't. Her younger sister to boot." "Hey, you want cookie dough or blue moon?" I yelled.

"Blue moon!" Peyton yelled.

"I was asking Kay goober!" I called back.

"Cookie dough!" Kay called out.

Our girls day had started at Kay's house and ended at ours. NoNo was sitting with Kay on the floor.

They were watching mom enjoy some 'mat' time with the twins. Landon's little hands pressed onto mom's back.

"Our babies are getting big!" he announced happily. He let out a shriek as dad scooped him up.

"Those are my babies Lan-do!" Dad said.

"Here we go," I said. I walked into the living room and handed Kay a bowl. I turned and gave Pey her blue moon. She smiled at me.

"Are you ready for tour?" Kay asked dad. Dad settled down in his recliner and tipped Landon upside down.

"We're as ready as we're going to be," he said. He looked at me.

"We ready to rock Europe, Ms. Opening Act?"

I laughed. "We're so ready to rock, daddy-o."

"I hope you're going to rock the college world too," mom said. She had been hinting like crazy. I knew she had no problem with the music business, but she was a supporter of a back-up plan.

"I'm going to try an online class and see what it's like," I promised. Dad nodded happily.

"Speaking of college..." NoNo said. He leaned back and pressed his hands into the floor. "I've been asked to go to New York right before school starts back up. Julliard wants me to do a tour and talk with some people in a couple of the program tracks."

Mom beamed. "That's wonderful!"

"They've been after you for six months," Dad said proudly. "We'll make sure you get up there."

Noah looked at Kay.

"I thought Kay could come with me. Columbia's doing tours at the same time."

Kay smiled. "I think I can squeeze that in to my busy schedule," she said.

"HEY!"

Everyone looked at Landon. He was crawling all over dad. He had his little feet on dad's thighs; he put his hands on dad's shoulders and leaned his face close.

"I GOT ICE CREAM POOPS!"

Dad moved fast. Mom sprawled out on the floor and just started to laugh. Pey glanced at her own ice cream bowl like she was thinking twice about the ice cream, but then she shrugged and scooped up the last few bites. I loved it. I sprawled out by the twins.

I felt like I was slowly filling the pages of that blank book the governor was talking about. I had plans; big plans. I wanted success; I wanted love...

I wanted it all.