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~ 27 ~

 

 1,000 Ways to Kill Nick Carter

 

Date: May 30th 1999

 

Place: Philadelphia (10 days after the emergency landing)

 

 + Nick +

 

I was having a hard time figuring out what was real and what was a dream. Everything seemed like a big blur after Howie left me in the woods or should I say ‘If’ Howie left me in the woods. I was pretty sure I did see him leave and then the guys with guns came but the next thing I knew I was laying on the ground staring up at Kevin. How the hell did Kevin manage to get there or maybe he has been there this whole time. And while we’re on the subject, where the fuck is there? Where the hell am I?

Opening my eyes stung like hell but I felt like now was the time. I needed a drink so one at a time I opened my peepers. I’m sure I had one hell of a hangover or something.

“He’s waking up again.”

The southern accent I had so grown to love made me smirk.

“How are you feeling Frack?”

I swallowed hard hoping that maybe whatever was wrong with me would be enough to get out of rehearsing or even performing. Surely we had to be rehearsing or performing somewhere tonight, but then why were Howie and I in the woods?

“I think he’s out of it again.” Brian sounded concerned.

“Fuck! What the hell is wrong with him?”

“I don’t know AJ.”

“And what the fuck was Kevin on last night, talking about killing the other Nick.”

“I don’t know AJ. You know as much as I do.”

“Your cousin sounded like a fucking crazy person.”

Were they talking about killing me? Shit, I knew I did something wrong. Maybe I overslept or…oh God! I wonder if I missed a concert or something because I was too drunk. We did drink a lot on the balcony…

“Nick?”

Actually I didn’t drink at all. Kevin wouldn’t let me. I can’t be drunk, can I?

“Nick, can you hear me buddy?”

I felt his hand on my shoulder as he gently shook me. Maybe I should just keep my eyes closed and pretend I can’t hear any of this. I don’t know what the hell is going on anyway.

“How’s Nicky doing?”

Brian pulled his hand away, “The same. Did you get any sleep last night? You look like hell.”

There was a long pause. I’m sure Howie probably shook his head because Brian said something like ‘that’s not good, you need to sleep we all do’ or something to that effect. I’m not sure; I was starting to lose it again. Their voices were sounding as if they were off in the distance.

They all gasped when I shot up into a sitting position. I wasn’t crazy about doing it, but I also knew I didn’t need to fall back to sleep. Lord knows I missed too much already.

The three of them stood staring at me almost comically.

“Hey there.” Brian said after what felt like too many minutes of an awkward silence.

“Hi.” I swallowed hard again, “Water?”

They looked at each other as if I had just asked for milk from a magic goat or something. I am so thirsty even that sounded good. Magic goat milk, anything is possible.

It was Howie who actually moved first, “I’ll go see if I can find you some water.” He smiled at me and it brought me back to a shed with Clara and Randy. Who were they and why did they keep popping up in my memory?

“Where am I?” I didn’t ask anyone in particular as I tried to take in my surroundings. I’m pretty sure we were in a tent and not a big one either. It was pretty small, like Boy Scout small.

“Are we on a camping trip?”

AJ and Brian looked at each other before answering, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I sighed, not sure if I should mention the nonsense about the woods. Maybe I should just stick to the hotel and that horribly boring party, which seemed like the safest answer. Before I had a chance to lie, I had the oddest feeling in my gut. Something was off, we were off.

“We were on a plane, weren’t we?”

They both nodded.

“We crashed?”

They both nodded again.

Then I saw a flash. We were all together and the men with guns came and one at a time they were all shot right in front of me. I saw AJ and Brian standing before me but this time they were covered in blood. How is that possible?

“What’s wrong Nick?”

Then it hit me, maybe it wasn’t them but Kevin. I haven’t seen Kevin since I woke up! Oh my God!

“Kevin’s been shot! Where is he, I need to see him!” I tried to stand but for whatever reason, my legs wouldn’t oblige so I was wriggling around on the sleeping bag like a worm.

Brian and AJ tried holding me down which made no sense since I wasn’t going anywhere anyway.

“What the fuck is he talking about Rok?”

“I don’t know but go get Kevin!”

I felt AJ let go of me and he darted out of the tent. If he was going to get Kevin then that meant Kevin wasn’t dead, or shot, or anything. I stopped struggling and went limp into Brian’s arms.

“I am so confused, Brian. I saw him…I saw all of you. You were all dead.”

“It must have been a dream from seeing that picture of us.”

I tried to remember what he was talking about but I had no idea. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is when all you want to do is remember but you can’t.

“What’s wrong with me?” I heard the whininess in my own voice and rolled my eyes.

“Nothing too bad kiddo, you just have the flu or something. You’ll be fine.”

Just as he finished saying that, his cousin barreled into the tent so quickly he almost knocked it over.

“What the hell happened? Is he awake?” He looked over at me and then tried to act like he wasn’t a ball of nerves at the moment. As if I didn’t see his anxious entrance.

“Welcome back, are you feeling any better?”

The sickly sweet way he said that made my stomach churn. Charlie was also in the tent now but barely able to get himself all the way in because of the size.

“I’m dying aren’t I?” Where the hell that came from I have no idea but it’s like I had a moment of clarity or something.

The question seemed to catch him and his cousin off guard, but it was that small hesitation that made me know.

“Of course not buddy. You’re just not at the top of your game. You’ll get better.”

He smiled the same fake smile Howie gave me before and then he handed me a bottle of water, or magic goat’s milk. Whatever it was, I gulped it down in a matter of minutes. It was hot and not very tasty but it did the trick.

“Why did you think I was shot?” He finally asked once he found a relatively comfortable position sitting on the floor next to me.

“I just remember seeing you shot, all of you were. It was horrible. I couldn’t do anything about it. I was too afraid.”

“What happened next?” Kevin glared back at Charlie. He wasn’t supposed to ask me that I guess.

What did happen next? I closed my eyes and tried to remember. I was so scared I had wet myself and I was crying.

“They put me in a car and took me someplace…I don’t remember where but it was a really long drive.”

“Was it a prison or a camp of some kind?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know…I don’t really remember.”

“Why are you asking him that?” Brian sounded annoyed.

“Because he might be the key to finding the other Nick, he’s clearly starting to have crossover memories.”

“Clearly.” Brian answered sarcastically.

I thought Charlie was dead. Why am I sitting here talking to him? He wasn’t even at the party in the hotel. But we had crashed, that’s right. We crashed.

“Look, I know you all think I’m crazy but I am telling you the only way to save him, is to kill the other one.”

Do what now?

Kevin smiled at me one more time and then stood up, “Can I have a word with you please?” Charlie nodded and they both left the tent.

“Why the hell are you saying that in front of him? He doesn’t need to hear shit like that!” Kevin screamed.

“Sorry, but we’re running out of time. Do you want to get home? All of you, alive?”

“Of course we do!”

“Then I have to ask those questions!”

“But still, it’s too much information!”

“Kevin, we are running out of time! If we don’t leave for New York by tomorrow or the next day tops, you’ll never get home!”

Brian and I just quietly sat there listening. “They do realize I’m not deaf, right? I mean they’re standing like half a foot away from me.”

Brian actually let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s not too much thinking going on out there at the moment.”

They continued to argue right outside the tent but I tried to block it out. Hearing things like someone has to kill the other me so I can live and going to New York to find a tear in the universe. I felt like I was living in a Dr. Who episode or something.

“We weren’t together before, how did we find each other?”

Brian seemed happy for the random question and filled me in on what I missed, culminating in us camping out in the middle of the woods off the main highway not too far from where Clara and Randy’s shed used to be. He said it kind of looked like we were at a camp for wayward children with a few pup tents thrown up in a circle. Kevin was my bunk mate but he would move in here with me and make AJ and Howie deal with Kevin.

“And what is this thing about killing the other me?” I didn’t want to ask, believe me but if anyone else heard what I just heard, they would be asking the same thing.

“That’s a little complicated.”

I snorted, “You think?”

He told me about Charlie’s theory of why I was as sick and weak as I was. When I was a kid I saw a movie about doppelgangers and if they saw each other both of their heads would simultaneously explode. I remember thinking how cool that would be. Yeah, now I’m leaning towards not so cool.

“So, the other Nick has to die or I will?”

“I’m sure you’re going to be fine. It’s just a theory.”

Kevin came back into the tent with another bottle of water. He handed it to me and then sat down, “I thought you might like another one.”

“Thanks.” I opened the bottle, took a sip, “So…what are we going to do about this other me situation?”

Kevin shot Brian a look, “Oh please it’s not like he didn’t overhear you guys screaming about it!”

“Nick, I know it sounds far fetched, but we have to try to find him. Charlie seems to think that you’ve been having this other Nick’s memories. He’s hoping you’d be able to lead us in the right direction to try to find him.”

“Are you going to kill me…him?”

“I have to try.”

“How?”

“What do you mean how?”

“I mean how do you plan on killing me?”

I can tell the conversation wasn’t one he wanted to have. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Oh come on Kev, I’m sure you’ve daydreamed about the chance to kill me, now you actually get to do it.”

“Nick, the last thing I want to do is kill anybody!”

“Make it cool at least.”

He rubbed at his tired eyes, “Can we stop talking about this?”

I was starting to grow tired again, like can’t keep my eyes opened tired.

“How are you going to find me if I can’t find me?”

“Don is working on that right now.”

“Do you think you’ll actually be able to go through with it?”

He sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Maybe if I annoy you enough…”

He forced himself to let out a small laugh, “If I haven’t killed you yet, I don’t think that would help.” He tousled my hair, “I’m going to go check and see how plans are coming along. Brian maybe we should let him get some sleep.”

Brian nodded and stood up.

“I’ll be back soon. I could kind of use a nap as well.” God bless Brian for realizing I didn’t want to be alone.

When they both left the tent I laid myself down and closed my eyes. I wonder if I would feel it, if Kevin did kill the other me, if it would hurt. I was about to fall asleep when a word came to me. It had to mean something so I blurted it out.

“Pelham Bay!”

Kevin and Brian, who were still right outside, came running in, “What did you say?”

“Pelham Bay.”

“What is that?”

“I think that’s where I am.”

“Where is that?”

“New York. I’m in New York.” I wasn’t sure how I knew that, I just did.

Kevin and Brian looked at each other just as my vision began to get fuzzy. Their voices distant as my head hit the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

Thanks for the input guys. For now i'm going to leave things the way they are but, if for some reason I have the chance to write a short chapter here or there i'll probably end up doing that. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :O)