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Survival Mode

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Date:  May 28th, 1999

 

Time: 1:23 PM

 

Place: Nazareth, PA (8 days after the emergency landing)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+ Brian +

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t do this! I can’t do this…

 

 

 

“Yes you can, Brian!”

 

 

 

I shook my head, still refusing to open my eyes, “I can’t, Kevin!”

 

 

 

“Damn it! Yes you can…you have to, you don’t have any choice!”

 

 

 

There’s always a choice. Maybe this is my destiny. Maybe this is how I’m meant to die? Hanging here on a huge tree branch above a hole that most likely was someone’s house can’t just be a coincidence, can it? I knew I shouldn’t have gotten on that plane. Every bone in my body was screaming that it was a bad idea and Leigh walking off all mad at me should have been the icing on the cake.

 

 

 

“Don’t be that way!”

 

 

 

“What way?”

 

 

 

“Leigh, it’s out of my hands.”

 

 

 

“Only because you chose to make it someone else’s problem.”

 

 

 

“It’s just a day!”

 

 

 

“I came out here just for you!”

 

 

 

“I want you to come!”

 

 

 

“Then say something!”

 

 

 

“No one else is arguing.”

 

 

 

“I knew it! Well, have fun then. I guess I’ll see you when you get back!”

 

 

 

“Kris is here to keep you company.”

 

 

 

She turned and walked away from me then, leaving me high and dry on the tarmac. I wanted to run after her but we were already late for the flight. I should have at least said something to her. I’ll probably never see her again. Thank God she didn’t come with us.

 

 

 

“Brian, you really need to get up here before another bomb hits and you fall!”

 

 

 

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

 

 

 

“I just want you to move your ass!”

 

 

 

The sense of urgency in his voice only escalated my own level of panic. I can’t help it if this was my biggest fear. We all have them and mine is heights. It always has been. I tend to downplay it when it comes to interviews and things. I even joke about how irrational it is and play it up as a fear that isn’t all that bad, but in reality there’s not much that terrifies me except for this.

 

 

 

I actually feel the skin on my arms being slowly cut away by the bark on the tree. That’s how tightly I am clinging to this branch at the moment. When the bomb hit, this was pretty much the only direction available to us. Either climb this tree to safety, which was in the form of a highway overpass, or fall to our deaths since the crater separating us from the street was at least over a mile wide.

 

 

 

Kevin started climbing instantly, without even a second thought. I on the other hand kept hesitating, looking for any other way to get around the inevitable. The ground quaking under my feet made me realize I had to follow my cousin up the tree. He warned me not to look down, only focus on watching him climb up ahead of me, but halfway to the top I heard the street collapse and made the mistake of looking at the damage. It froze me in place and that’s where I’ve been ever since.

 

 

 

“Bri, just a little further and then you can reach up and I can pull you the rest of the way. You’re too far away for me to do that right now.” His tone became softer when he realized the yelling wasn’t getting him or me anywhere.

 

 

 

I nodded and actually opened my eyes and looked up at him. His arm was just out of my reach. I moved my arms slightly upward and winced when I felt the scraping. I did manage to move a little bit though so I decided to try moving both of my legs together in one swoop. I have done it millions of times on very small trees at home in my backyard.

 

 

 

“Just like picking apples Brian, you can do this.” I said to myself as I moved up a notch.

 

 

 

“Yes, that’s right…just like picking apples at home. Just a little further kiddo, you can do it!”

 

 

 

I nodded and moved a little more, repeating the same motion as before.

 

 

 

“Okay good, now reach up and take my hand. I won’t let you fall, I promise.”

 

 

 

I knew he wouldn’t. If there was anyone besides my parents and brother I could trust with my life, it would be my cousin. He would never let anything happen to me so I took a deep breath, said a little prayer and held up my right arm to him.

 

 

 

He grabbed me at around my elbow and yanked with all his might and the next thing I knew I was over the railing and on the pavement. I don’t know how he managed to do it, now allowing myself to look at where he was perched trying to rescue me. I guess that’s what adrenaline will do to someone. Once he saw me safely on the ground, he leapt over the railing himself from the small ledge.

 

 

 

“Are you okay?” He asked while looking me up and down to make sure nothing was broken.

 

 

 

“I scratched myself up pretty badly.” I said showing him my tattered sleeves covered with blood.

 

 

 

“Your leg is bleeding as well.” He said pointing to my knee where there was another gaping hole in my very expensive pants.

 

 

 

“Oh, I didn’t even feel that.” I said, moving my hand down to my knee and gently patting it as my cousin got up and looked over the railing.

 

 

 

“Are you okay?” I asked him. “You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

 

 

 

He didn’t answer right away. I knew he was thinking about the other guys. I was too, but neither of us could even bring ourselves to say it out loud. “What?” He turned back towards me, “I’m okay.” He answered as he extended his hand to me to help me off the ground. “We better get moving. I’m not sure how stable this overpass is and I’d like to be on solid ground if another attack happens.”

 

 

 

I nodded and tried to ignore the pain in my leg as I stood up. “We should go back the way we came.” I said pointing to the other side of the overpass where at least five cars sat in various stages of disarray on the bridge. One was completely upside down.

 

 

 

“What is going on here?” I couldn’t help but ask. I felt like we had been dropped in the middle of a Terminator movie.

 

 

 

“I don’t know, but we have to keep moving.” He almost sounded mechanical himself. I had my very own T-1,000. That thought made my mind go directly to Nick. We would have had to yell jinx because chances are he would have been thinking the same thing. I hope he’s okay. He has to be okay, they all do.

 

 

 

As we passed the cars I tried not to look in them. I was too afraid I’d see people in there. The odds of getting out of the cars before the blast were not good. As evidence of this someone was lying right outside of one of the cars in a pool of blood. Kevin looked away and I did the same.

 

 

 

Before this last week, I had only ever seen two dead bodies. Kevin’s dad was one and someone my father used to work with was another. In fact, this week has made me realize how sheltered I have been to so many things. I feel like I’ve grown up ten years in less than ten days.

 

 

 

“We need to find shelter before nightfall.” Kevin said, turning to me as if to say I was walking to slow.

 

 

 

“I really think we should try to find the guys.”

 

 

 

“Brian, we need to find shelter first.”

 

 

 

“But what if they’re hurt?”

 

 

 

“Don’t…we can’t talk about this right now.”

 

 

 

And there it was. Kevin Richardson was officially in survival mode and that scared the living shit out of me. When he got like this, which wasn’t very often, there wasn’t much you could do or say to change his mind.

 

 

 

“Okay.” I decided to jog to catch up to him just as we got off the bridge and back onto solid ground. “They must be using different bombs. I can’t hear them as well anymore.”

 

 

 

“And they seem to be attacking more frequently.” He added.

 

 

 

“I’m sure if we stay on this road for a little bit we’ll find a place to cut across and back down to where we think the guys will be.”

 

 

 

He glanced over at me, in that one motion I read so much in his eyes and face. He thought they were dead. That because they didn’t show up after the initial blast that separated us, there was no way we’d ever find them. I could tell he was thinking all of that because otherwise we’d be running to find them. Walking with Kevin now was a lot like seeing an ambulance pass by with no sirens on. You know there was an emergency, but you also know help arrived too late.

 

 

 

“They’re alive, you know.” I felt the need to say.

 

 

 

“Brian, we can’t think about that now.”

 

 

 

“When is a good time to think about it?”

 

 

 

“We need to find somewhere safe to rest for the night and then we’ll come up with some kind of game plan.”

 

 

 

“The longer we wait Kevin…I mean you remember how Nick was after…”

 

 

 

He stopped dead and I walked right into him, “I know Brian! All right, I know and I love and care about them too! But they aren’t here right now. It’s just you and I and us being out in the cold unprotected is not going to help them at all so please stop!”

 

 

 

I nodded. The profound sadness in his eyes made me want to just drop to the ground and call it quits.

 

 

 

He pulled his hands through his hair and took a calming breath, “It actually looks like there’s a few houses still standing over there. Maybe we can hide out in one of those.”

 

 

 

I nodded again, not wanting to bring to his attention that they are standing for now…who knows what will happen when the sun goes down. Would holding up in a house be the safest thing to do? Maybe just camping out at the side of the road would be the smartest way to go.

 

 

 

I made the mistake of looking up just then. I froze in place, not believing my eyes. When Kevin noticed me staring he did the same. Neither of us knew what to do or say. It was a huge Billboard. The kind that record companies would pay a million dollars for and in our case, they did. They were all over Manhattan before our album was released. Even the buses had our posters.

 

 

 

This one was different though.

 

 

 

On this billboard were three different acts. One picture showed them alive and well, the second not so much. First one was of Britney all smiles and happy in her little cheerleader outfit. Beside that picture was Britney impaled on a spear. Blink 182 running around the streets naked and then another shot of them hanging from a tree. Eminem was rapping in one picture and then laying on his side, dead in another.

 

 

 

Underneath the pictures it said, “Three down, so many more to go…! Remember turn in a celebrity and earn $10,000.”

 

 

 

“Jesus Christ.” Was all Kevin said as he grabbed me by my shoulder, “We need to get out of here, now.”

 

 

 

We both picked up our pace considerably no longer feeling very safe in the open. “I don’t think going to a house is the best idea so close to that billboard.” I said as we turned the corner into a small neighborhood where there were at least 6 houses still standing.

 

He stopped a few seconds to think about it, “Maybe we can find one abandoned.”

 

 

 

“What are the odds of that happening?”

 

 

 

“I don’t know Bri, but we have to at least try. We’re running out of options here.”

 

 

 

He was right, if we stayed outside all night who knew what could happen. All it would take was one person to recognize our faces, one person who needs money. Everyone needs money nowadays.

 

 

 

We slowly and cautiously made our way into the neighborhood where it seemed there were no signs of life at all. If you overlooked all the burnt down houses and trees and just focused on this one little area, you would think it was any ordinary day. It seemed as if people were just out at work minding their own business while they left their houses unattended.

 

 

 

A few snow flakes began to fall and I shivered, “Let’s try the one at the end of the block.” I suggested but Kevin had other ideas. He walked over to the very first house. It was a baby blue ranch style home with a nice garden in the front and a two car garage and everything.

 

 

 

“Sometimes it’s best to hide in plain site. Chances are other people were thinking the same thing as you and went to that one.”

 

 

 

We bypassed the front of the house and went directly to the backyard. It was so weird how in tact this place was. It’s almost as if there was a shield protecting it from harm. I could use one of those shields about now.

 

 

 

When we got to the back, he slowly climbed up the three steps leading to the deck and peered into the kitchen window. “All the lights are off. I don’t think anyone is here.” He then went to the back door and actually smiled when it opened. I think that’s the first smile I’ve seen on his face for days now. Not that we have had a lot to smile about recently.

 

 

 

He motioned for me to stay put while he went in to check things out and a few minutes later he gave me the all clear. I bolted the door shut behind me. “We should close all the curtains.” He said as he walked around the kitchen and living room doing just that, making it very dark. “Look for candles or flashlights.”

 

 

 

I made my way around the kitchen, opening and closing drawers hoping to find anything useful and was happy to see they were well stocked with candles and flashlights. Also they had a pantry full of canned food and even some stuff in the fridge, even though the electricity was out at the moment, the things were still cold and I instinctively grabbed a Coke and chugged it. It wasn’t until then that I realized how hungry and thirsty I was.

 

 

 

He came back and saw me holding the empty can and just when I thought he was going to yell at me, he grabbed one and did the same. He sat down at the kitchen table and once again pulled his hands through his hair. “This seems to be a good place to stay tonight. I have a feeling these people aren’t coming back.”

 

 

 

“You think they’re dead?”

 

 

 

He nodded, “I know it sounds horrible for me to say this, but I hope so. We need time to rest and regain our strength.”

 

 

 

“What are the chances of finding that guy Charlie told us about?”

 

 

 

I sat down at the table across from Kevin and opened a box of cookies I had found in the pantry. This felt an awful lot like stealing, but in a case like this, I think God would understand.

 

 

 

“I don’t know, but if we don’t find him…”

 

 

 

I was glad he stopped. I didn’t much feel like hearing the rest of what he had to say.

 

 

 

“You think the other guys are together?”

 

 

 

“I hope so.”

 

 

 

“Me too.”

 

 

 

“Why do you think everyone hates celebrities so much?”

 

 

 

He shrugged, taking three cookies out of the box and handing it back to me, “I have no idea.”

 

 

 

“Think it’s because of Trump and what he did to this place?”

 

 

 

“That would be a good guess.”

 

 

 

“Kevin, we have to get out of here.”

 

 

 

“I know.”

 

 

 

“How on earth are we going to find the guys and then get to New York in time?”

 

 

 

He looked me in the eyes, “Let’s not think about that right now. I’m going to see if I can find us something substantial to eat and then I think we’ll need to get some sleep. We’ll plan more tomorrow.”

 

 

 

I nodded at him, suddenly beyond exhausted. “Hopefully the snow won’t accumulate.”

 

 

 

“Yeah, it does look like it’s picking up though.” He said peeking from behind the curtain.

 

 

 

After having a dinner of Beef Stew and Spaghetti-o-s out of a can, we headed into the living room and decided to sleep on the floor in front of the fire place. It probably wasn’t the smartest decision to light it, but it was freezing in the house and we needed warmth.

 

 

 

“I hope wherever the guys are, they are inside and warm.” I said to my cousin just as I closed my eyes to sleep.

 

 

 

“Me too.” He answered as we both sat up when we heard the front doorknob jiggle.

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

Hope you're enjoying this one. I'll be back on Wednesday with another chapter. As always, thanks for the feedback and reviews, esepcially since this is such a new thing for me lol