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~ 6~

 

 

 

 

 

Canada, Actually

 

 

 

 

 

Date: May 19th 1999

 

Time: 10:56 AM

 

Place: New York City (2 days before the emergency landing)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+ AJ +

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I really hate hangovers. Not that I had them a whole lot. In fact, I rarely even used to drink at all. This week kind of changed all that. I have never had so much champagne shoved in my face ever. I think I’ll be peeing champagne for weeks! I don’t even like the taste all that much. I’m a simple man with simple tastes. Give me beer or maybe a Jack and a Coke and I’m a happy camper.

 

 

 

 

 

By the time our party was over it was about 4 in the morning. We had been on the go since 6 so we were clearly all awake for about 24 hours. I don’t really remember much after midnight hit. There was a whole hell of a lot of laughing, dancing, and lord knows what else. I did wake up alone so that was a failure. But I guess on the plus side, there wasn’t like a fucking donkey in my bed or anything.

 

 

 

There was a knock on my door and I shook my head, “Who is it?”

 

 

 

“Me.”

 

 

 

I opened the door to a very clean shaven and refreshed looking Howie. How the hell does he do that? He parties harder than all five of us combined. After I went to bed he was still dancing around.

 

 

 

“What time did you go to bed?”

 

 

 

He looked at his watch, “It hasn’t happened yet.”

 

 

 

“You know what? Fuck you!” That was my way of telling him he looked too good to still be going strong.

 

 

 

He laughed, luckily he knew AJ-ese. “Are you ready for the interviews?”

 

 

 

“Jesus, how many magazines exist out there? I swear we have been interviewed by everything, even Fucking Cat Fancy.”

 

 

 

“Lucky for you they are just magazine interviews because you’re looking a little rough.”

 

 

 

I guess I deserved that.

 

 

 

“I don’t quite hold my liquor as well as you do.”

 

 

 

“Yeah, well practice makes perfect I guess.” He pat my head which was throbbing.

 

 

 

I almost thought I should go and try to throw up anything else that was left in my stomach before heading out but I didn’t much feel like walking into the bathroom. It still had that you drank too much stink.

 

 

 

“We are supposed to pick up Nick before heading to the lobby.”

 

 

 

“That little shit better be up and ready.”

 

 

 

“I’m sure he isn’t.”

 

 

 

“I thought Brian was rooming with him.”

 

 

 

He shook his head, “Leighanne.”

 

 

 

“Oh Christ, he isn’t going to be ready then.” I shook my head already knowing what to expect when we knocked on Nick’s door. I’m surprised I didn’t end up rooming with him. As a general rule, we don’t leave Nick alone in hotel rooms. Good things do not happen when Nick is left alone. I’m surprised he didn’t come and knock on my door with some lame ass excuse about why he needed to spend the night in my room.

 

 

 

We knocked and knocked and knocked and…well you get the picture.

 

 

 

Finally the door opened a crack and before we even entered the room he was back in his bed. The room looked like a tornado had blown threw in the middle of the night. There were clothes and trash everywhere. “How does one even get a room this messy in this short amount of time? There could be a dead body buried underneath all this crap and we’d never know.”

 

 

 

He had the covers pulled up above his head “Go away….need sleep.”

 

 

 

Howie walked over to the shades and opened them, I winced like a vampire. It didn’t have any effect on Nick because he was still hidden under the blankets. “Time to wake up Nicky, we have a fun day of interviews ahead of us!”

 

 

 

“Go away!” He sounded muffled.

 

 

 

I, being in the wonderful mood I am, went over and ripped the covers right off of him “Get the hell up. If I have to go then you do too!”

 

 

 

You know what he did? He actually spit at me like he was a friggin’ llama or something. “What are you, nine?”

 

 

 

I wiped his drool off of my face. Luckily it wasn’t real spit. He’s too dumb to know how to do that I guess. “I am tired.”

 

 

 

“Oh boo freaking hoo, we all are tired. I didn’t get to bed until after 4 and Howie still hasn’t gone to bed.”

 

 

 

He actually had a frowny face on. A fucking frowny face! “I can’t do this anymore. I’m too tired!”

 

 

 

“I promise I’ll cry for you later now get your ass up!”

 

 

 

Howie laughed at me and then gave Nick a sympathetic look, “Come on Nicky, it won’t be that bad. It’s only a few print interviews and then a dinner with some contest winners later tonight. You’ll have an hour or two to yourself to come up and take a quick nap.”

 

 

 

He rolled his eyes and then finally got out of bed. Howie, he is miraculous in every way possible.

 

 

 

“Sorry for spitting at you.” Nick whispered as he walked past me.

 

 

 

I knew that was coming. He does stupid things and then apologizes minutes after. “Yeah, whatever kid, just hurry or you get to explain to Kevin why we’re late!”

 

 

 

Thirty minutes later we were in the lobby waiting on Kevin of all people. “Nice to know I could have slept another thirty or so minutes.” I shared with Howie who I’m pretty sure had fallen asleep standing against the wall. “D?” I patted his arm and he jerked awake. Howie could fall asleep anywhere.

 

 

 

“I am slowly beginning to hit the wall.” He said as he rubbed at his tired eyes.

 

 

 

“Literally.” I decided to add in a half snort, laugh.

 

 

 

Just before I had a chance to bitch some more, Kevin darted out of the elevator as if he was on fire. “Sorry I’m late!” He screamed so loud that I swear everyone in the lobby stopped and stared at him. We didn’t really need to draw anymore attention to ourselves.

 

 

 

I know I was doing my best to ignore the huge crowd that managed to gather outside waiting for us. How do they always know where we are? The thought of having to go past a gaggle of screaming fans wasn’t on my list of fun activities for today. Usually I live for shit like that but not when I am hung over.

 

 

 

“It’s no problem, we just got here ourselves.” Said an overly too chipper must have gotten laid last night Brian.

 

 

 

You know, if that had been one of us coming in last, Kevin would have had the biggest fit ever! Why is it okay that he shows up late? I don’t know why that bothered me so much but it did. Oh yeah, the fact that I’m hung over and feel like I have someone’s hairy ass in my mouth. That explains why I said what I did.

 

 

 

“I don’t fucking forgive you! You know you’re the first one to complain if we are late, you’d be bitching up and down at us like we were fucking two years old but for you, oh it’s no big deal, well you know what? It IS a big deal!”

 

 

 

The look on not only his face, but those of the rest of the band was priceless. I actually started laughing. Nick’s mouth was opened so wide I was pretty sure a humming bird could have landed inside. Howie’s eyes looked like they were about to pop right out of his head. Brian just kept shifting his eyes from me to Kevin wondering what would happen next and Kevin, well he just kind of looked like he was searching for the perfect comeback. I had rendered him speechless, now that’s not something that happens every day.

 

 

 

“Okay, well what do you want me to do about it then?”

 

 

 

Hrmm…didn’t expect to hear that. I shrugged, “Fuck a duck, I don’t care.”

 

 

 

“I’d pay to see that!” Nick, need I say more?

 

 

 

“I just love it when you are hung over. You’re so pleasant to be around. This should be a terrific day.” Kevin said as he walked past me and put on his sunglasses. As he opened the hotel door, security rushed to his side and led us out one by one. The crowd was screaming their heads off.

 

 

 

I wish I could explain what it feels like to be clawed at while you are just trying to get to a car. People who say it’s a great feeling are lying through their teeth. Even on my best day, it’s something I don’t enjoy. It’s actually a horrifying feeling to have so many people trying to grab at you. All it takes is one to pull you down and you’re sunk.

 

 

 

I ended up being sandwiched with Nick in front of me and Brian behind me. I know it sounds bad, but I hate being next to Nick in crowds. I don’t know what it is about him, but the girls go ape shit when he’s around and the shoving and pushing escalate to really scary levels. What’s worse is he’s completely oblivious to it. He’ll like bend down and try to tie his shoe or answer his phone. I’m like “Dude, these girls will kill your ass if you keep stopping like this!” and he’d be all “Huh? What?” I shook my head and for some reason decided to give him a friendly shove to move him along faster.

 

 

 

“Where’s the fire, dude?” See what I mean?

 

 

 

Since we were going without our posse, we all ended up going in the same van and since the universe supposedly hates me, I ended up sitting right next to Kevin. Yeah, this will be a fun ride.

 

 

 

It started out nice enough. No one said much of anything until about ten minutes into the ride when suddenly a soft snoring sound came from Howie. Since Kevin was wearing sunglasses I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not. I guess people were wondering about me too. I should have just pretended I was sleeping. I was a master at that, but for some reason I felt compelled to stop Nick from putting a piece of candy in D’s mouth.

 

 

 

“Don’t man, let him sleep.”

 

 

 

Nick looked over at me with a dejected look on his face, “You are no fun!”

 

 

 

“Is Kevin awake?”

 

 

 

“You try to put that candy in my mouth and I’ll eat your hand.”

 

 

 

“I guess that’s a yes and nice to know you’re Cannibal Lector.”

 

 

 

“That’s Hannibal, moron.”

 

 

 

“I feel the love in this van.” Brian said as he looked out the window, no doubt trying to relive the hot sex he most likely had last night. Nice to know one of us was in a good mood.

 

 

 

“I am tired of answering the same stupid questions every interview!” I grumbled, now sitting back and folding my arms in front of each other. I might as well commit to the bad mood I was in full force. Embrace the crappiness AJ, embrace the crappiness!

 

 

 

“I think for fun we should change our answers up. If they ask us how we got together we can say a crack whore introduced us!” I shook my head at Nick but had to smile at that one.

 

 

 

“And when they ask about N’sync we could say of course we hate them. We don’t wish them well, in fact we’re hoping they’ll take a wrong turn somewhere and end up in East Jesus.”  Of course Brian had to get Jesus in there somewhere.

 

 

 

“And when they ask us if we like each other? We can admit that Howie and Kevin are in love and have a secret child on the side!”

 

 

 

“Why do you always make me the gay one?” Howie asked with one eye now opened.

 

 

 

Nick shrugged at Howie, “Seems to fit.”

 

 

 

Luckily Frick and Frack spent the entire car ride going back and forth with all the ways we should answer the questions the interviewers asked. Some were pretty freaking hilarious but I refrained from laughing. Not sure why. I guess I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing I was enjoying myself. I even saw Kevin crack a small smile now and again before going back to the sour puss face.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Howie sighed, “I need coffee.” He yawned and gave a small stretch as we sat at our table waiting for the next interviewer. We had done five in the span of about 20 minutes. They gave each magazine enough time to ask about three questions. Our management was actually using an egg timer and when that thing buzzed, even if we were in mid-sentence, the one person was kicked out and a new person took their place.

 

 

 

“I’m sure if you ask, you shall receive.”

 

 

 

“Coffee!” He actually just decided to scream it out to the masses maybe hoping that a cup of java would magically fall from the sky.

 

 

 

A lady from some Travel magazine sat down. Why the fuck do we have to be interviewed by a travel magazine? She asked some generic question about where was our favorite place to visit. Yeah, another one we answered about a thousand times. What was it that Brian had said for that one? I think something about a toilet in Vermont or something.

 

 

 

While I was busy thinking about that I felt a very friendly ‘jab’ at my back. That’s of course when I realized that she was looking at me, anxiously awaiting my answer.

 

 

 

“Toilet.” Damn it!

 

 

 

“Excuse me?” She looked confused, “Did you just say toilet?”

 

 

 

As I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment, no pun intended, I heard Nick let out a huge laugh.

 

 

 

“Uh, yeah, just thinking out loud, sorry.”

 

 

 

“About toilets?” Help… this ship is sinking fast and hard.

 

 

 

“Canada, actually.”

 

 

 

I could see out of the corner of my eyes Kevin shaking his head and placing his hands on his eyes. I could also hear Homer Simpson Saying “D’oh!” in the background.

 

 

 

She smiled, “So you were thinking out loud about Canadian toilets?”

 

 

 

“Uh…yeah, well no…I mean they were two separate thoughts.”

 

 

 

“Okay…”

 

 

 

“I meant Canada is my favorite place to go visit because they have always shown us nothing but love. If it weren’t for the Canadian fans, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”

 

 

 

“About toilets.” She added.

 

 

 

In between every single interview after that one, I was mocked relentlessly by all of them, Nick being the worst. I WAS Nick. I had turned into Nick. Kill me now!

 

 

 

The ride back to the hotel was oddly quiet. I think everyone was just so exhausted by that point, no one felt the need to talk. Howie was passed out and snoring on Nick’s shoulder who was also sleeping. Brian was staring out the window in a zombie like trance.

 

 

 

“I should have said Canada too.” I glanced over at Kevin who seemed to be staring at Nick and Howie as they slept. “We owe them everything, you were right.”

 

 

 

“Yeah.” I said as I lay my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes and let sleep take me over.

Chapter End Notes:

Hey guys! Just a heads up that you probably won't be getting an update for awhile. I'm in the process of moving and then after that I have a band festival that i'm getting ready for. It's a lot of crap in a little amount of time which doesn't leave me much room for writing. Enjoy this chapter and I hope to be back in a week or so!