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Story Notes:

This is an idea TheDistantHeart thought of after tweeting a little with catseye1769 and we decided to actually write a handbook on how to become and stay a sane BSB fan.

Hope you'll enjoy this but most of all, laugh about it! This is meant pure for fun!


Author's Chapter Notes:

Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated!


Written by TheDistantHeart


Let’s start with the most common situation we see the Boys. Concerts. I bet that 90% of the fans (or even more) have been to a BSB concert now and have seen our lovely Boys rock the stage. Now, for a lot of fans this event is simply awesome, mind blowing and a thing to never forget. After the concert, sane fans might go to the merchandise, buy a little souvenir then head home with a smile on their face, talking miles an hour about the concert. Some have been lucky to touch one of the Boys’ hands. Some have been lucky to catch a rose, a towel or a water bottle.

Lucky or not, there are a few things you should NOT do at a concert.

1.1 The Concert

1. Don’t pull the poor guy towards you into the audience. He can get... no, he WILL get seriously injured. You don’t want any of the Boys to end up dead, now do you? Kevin leaving the group was bad enough. We want to keep all four of them! Besides, you won't make friends with actions like those! Even your psycho buddies will form a cult against you! We already have enough cults to deal with, thank you!

2. When, for example Nick, touched your hand, don’t stare at your hand, cry and scream “OH MY GOD NICK CARTER JUST TOUCHED MY HAND, I WILL NEVER WASH IT AGAIN!!!”. I understand you’re excited Nick (or any of the other Boys) just grabbed your hand, but their hands are not special. They’re just human hands. They have the same hands as you. They’re not made of gold with little diamonds on them. Calm. The Fuck. Down. And no, the world won’t end when your hand touched something else or when you washed Nick’s DNA off of it. Which leads to another point: don’t scrape your skin off your hand and try to sell it on eBay. Who wants to have the skin of another person? Ew. You’re gross! (And your hand will look like shit for the next few days)

3. Don’t pull out their hair/earring/nose piercing/dislocate their arm or leg. You won’t score any brownie points with the Boys OR their security! They don’t LIKE aggressive fans.

4. When someone catches a rose/water bottle/towel/any other object, don’t jump like a fucking monkey through the crowd and slaughter the poor girl (or boy, you never know). If you were the one to catch one of those things, would you be happy if someone went all apeshit on you and you had to go to the hospital and miss the rest of the concert? Exactly.

5. If you grab a sweaty towel.. seriously, don’t wipe the thing all over you so you have Nick’s/AJ’s/Howie’s/Brian’s sweat on you. If a random stranger, who was sweating all over, would come at you and wipe their sweat on you, would you like that? Would you nearly wet your pants? Their sweat is not much different from the sweat of any other person. I much rather watch the Boys covered in sweat (preferably with bared arms.. or bared upper body.. or no clothes at all) instead of having myself covered in it. If you think of it, it's pretty gross.

6. Just because one of them smiled or winked at you, doesn’t mean they are interested in you. Who says they smile or wink at you? For all you know, they just flash a quick smile at the crowd. So, don’t go all hysterical and text all your friends that Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys winked at you a thousand times (that’s a tic of him, you know) and he probably wants you. I would love to continue about what you should not do at their hotel, but I’ll leave that for later! All I’m saying is that Leigh will kick your ass! (And their bodyguards too, you don’t want to face them)


Chapter End Notes:

That was the first part of chapter one of the How Do I Become And Stay A Sane BSB Fan? handbook! Did you recognize anything? Did you see someone acting like this? Let us know! ;)