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Chapter 11

It was a whole week since I last spoke or seen Nick and even though he told me not to call him; I still did. I needed to hear his voice again. I need to know if he was okay, if he meant everything he said because, I know he didn't. He was just saying all those things out of anger.

Right?

I'm not so sure. He has the right to be mad at me. I wasn't honest with him when I should have but, at the same time; he needs to understand that I was scared. He did exactly what I didn't want him to do; leave. Now I'm afraid that's exactly what he did again. See, Nick has a thing where everytime a problem comes up, he always runs away from it. All the time. He either runs away from it or he shuts everyone out and, I'm tired of it.

I want answers. I want to know where we stand. I'm going to keep telling myself that he didn't mean of anything that he said. Deep down, I know that he still loves me and a part of him is sorry. He needs to know and understand that I'm sorry to. I know it's not much to say but, I really am. I didn't mean for any of this to happen this way. If I can take everything back, I would. In a heartbeat.

But, things happen and for reason we can never explain or understand.

* * *

"You have reached a non-existing number... please check the number and dial again."

"Come on, damnit! Don't do this to me." She yelled at the phone, dialing Nick's number again.

"You have reached a non--"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"Good morning to you too. What's got you so blue?"

"Nothing."

"So, cursing up a storm and yelling out "SON OF A BITCH!" is nothing? Huh, okay." Maggie said, turning away and heading towards the kitchen.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to Maggie everything that has been going on. I'm not sure what her reaction would be but, I really needed to talk to someone and the only person I could that with is my best friend.

"It's Nick."

"Oh. NOW we're talking. Apple or Orange?"

"Apple's fine."

"Okay. So talk."

"Nick's been...coming around. Often. Well, I mean not often but, he came over for breakfast like once and, that was... awkward. Then he came again the other night... wait, no. First time he came, he dropped me off and then the next morning he came for breakfast and, about a week ago he was here. All three encounters have been awkward."

"Well... that sure is alot of take in."

"Yeah. It's been over a week since I last seen him or heard from him. He told me not to call but, I caved and called this morning. Apparently his number is no longer in service."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Shit is right. I just don't know what to do anymore. This is all too confusing. Before he decided to pop back into my life again, everything was fine. I was on the right path. Now? It's all over the place."

"Why is he even acting this way? What happend in the course of him coming over and-- do not tell me you slept with him?"

"Well..."

"EMMA. I swear I will cut you with this knife!"

"Okay, okay. No. I didn't sleep with Nick. God, that's never going to happen."

"Right. Well, you both don't have that amazing of a track record when it comes to you both fucking like rabbits."

"Yeah because, I really want to talk about how Nick and I use to go at it anytime, anyplace, anywhere? God, can we please not talk about that right now?" She said, waving her hands in the air with a digusted look on her face.

"Sorry. Continue. What crawled up his ass and died?" Maggie asked turning back to the stove.

"Apparently I did. I told him."

"You told him? Oh you mean about the, you know..."

"Yes. I told him about Haley."

"Oh. OOOOOH." She turned the stove off and turned around to look at Emma. "You TOLD him?"

"Yeah. I had to. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Especially it being Haley's birthday a week ago"

"How did he take it?"

"Not so well, at all. To the point that he told me he pretty much doesn't want to ever see me again. Doesn't want me calling or texting or even looking for him. I told him on her birthday."

"ON her birthday? JESUS Emma, no wonder he's pissed. He shouldn't be acting like an ass though."

"How is he acting like an ass?"

"He's doing what he always does. Running away. It's what Nick does. He can't handle his own problems."

"I don't think that's the issue here, Maggie. The problem is that I lied to him. That doesn't make me any better."

"Like he's never lied to you before?"

"That's not the point Maggie. He's lied plenty of times before, yes but, he's never kept something big like this from me. It's a child. HIS child, that I hid from him."

"So, now you're defending him."

"It's not about defending him. It's about ME owning up to my responsibility."

"He also needs to own up to HIS responsibility of not always running away when shit hits the fan either."

I sighed. "You're right."

"So what are you going to do?"

"There's nothing I could do. The damage is done. All I could do is just wait."

* * *

I had a daughter.

A daughter.

How can Emma keep something like this from me? All these years, all those months.

My own flesh and blood.

Growing inside of her and I didn't even know.

Now I feel like even more of a complete asshole for breaking up with her. Then again, I can't put the blame on myself. A baby changes everything, that's for sure. But, somehow I knew that if Emma had told me; this baby would've changed everything for the better. I loved Emma no matter what and even though she was scared, I would've been there every step of the way. Even if I was busy with the Boys and gone all the time, she still would've been with me.

I will never get that chance though. I will never get the chance to see my daughter grow.

It hurts me like you wouldn't even believe and for Emma to even keep this from me for two years is what hurts me the most. She had never lied to me before. Never. We were always open and honest with eachother. More so her with me. I, on the other hand, was still learning and trying to work on that apart. We were both young and naive but, we were both still learning and growing together.

 

Nick looked down at Emma's ultrasound of Haley and ran his finger along the side of it. He felt a lump in his throat and his eyes filling up with tears.

"Hi." He whispered, still running his finger along the picture. Staring at the tiny little figure. "It's your dad..."

God, how can you do this to me Emma?

A small ding that sounded like a doorbell interrupted his thoughts, announcing they had arrived at their destination. As the plane stopped, Nick pulled out his cell phone and sent a text. 

It's Nick. I'm here.

A couple of minutes his phone vibrated, signaling that he had a text. He pulled his cell phone and read it.

It was from Brian.

Welcome to Atlanta.