My nightmares about 9/11 always have a few things in common.  I always know what’s going to happen before it happens, I’m always trying to get word to Sean to get out of the buildings, and I always fail.  Everything else about the dream typically changes.  Sometimes it’s just a pure flashback where I’m standing in my apartment watching it all through the balcony window and on the Today Show just like it really happened.  Other times I’m in the building with Sean but I can’t get to him quick enough.  Then there are times when I’m watching it on television from another state or just down on the street looking up at the building as it starts to fall.  Whatever the dream ends up being though, it always devastates me.

The closer I got to my trip to New York, the more I had my 9/11 nightmares.  I was also spending more and more time with Kevin which meant that when I’d wake up in the middle of the night shaking like a leaf and crying, he was usually there.  I hadn’t even gotten around to telling him just what was haunting me and yet, he didn’t make me tell him anything.  He would just hold me and be there with me until I was okay. 

I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t like having Kevin there when I woke up.  Normally when I had my nightmares I was alone and either had to calm myself down or I ended up calling Christian, so actually having someone there with me was a nice change.  I felt bad that I hadn’t told him what my problem actually was, but every time that I tried to tell him I couldn’t do it.  I found myself thinking that in order to tell Kevin about my deep dark secrets I had to know for sure that he was sticking around.  But since I still didn’t even know why Kevin was spending the summer in Roland’s condo, I felt like I didn’t know much about him at all.  That is, until I got a phone call that definitely put a new spin on things.

I was still in bed, mostly asleep, when a familiar ringtone played on my phone and despite the early hour I smiled as I reached across Vinnie to get the phone.  “Hey, Mama…”

“Good morning, sunshine… Did I wake you?”

“Of course you did… but it’s okay.”  I rolled onto my back and stretched.

My mom laughed in my ear which only made me smile more, I loved to hear her laugh.  “Well guess what?”

“Not a clue…”

“I’m in New Smyrna…”

That woke me up.  I sat up with a big grin on my face, New Smyrna was just a twenty minute drive from my house which was a heck of a lot closer than her home in Titusville just North of Cape Canaveral.  “Really?  How come?”

“I had some stuff to drop off to a new customer and figured it gave me a perfect excuse to visit my baby…”

“Aww…” I said as I got out of bed and walked out into the living room to make sure it was presentable.  My mom knew that I was a slob, but I generally tried to clean up at least a little bit when she was visiting so that she wouldn’t pick on me about it.  “Are you on your way now?”

“Yup… just turned onto US-1.”

“Cool… I’ll make the coffee…”  I found a tee shirt that belonged to Kevin stuck between the couch and an end table and had to laugh because we’d searched all over for the shirt the a few days before and had been unable to find it.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing…” I said and smiled as I paused to smell Kevin’s shirt.  I loved the way he smelled.  Smelling his shirt made me want him there with me.

“Yeah sure… so is Kevin there?”

“Mother… do you think I’m that kind of girl?” I teased with a gasp.

“Honey, you’re my daughter, I know you’re that kind of girl…”

“So true…” I said and we both laughed.  “But no, he went home to Kentucky to see his family over the weekend and got back late last night.”  Two and a half days without seeing him and I was in serious withdraw.  I needed to see those pretty green eyes and everything else that was attached to the body they belonged to.  I had to fan myself as I opened the sliding glass door to let Vinnie outside, thinking about Kevin was like my own personal version of a hot flash.

“Well then we’ll have to have him over for dinner…”

I watched Vinnie as he ran around in the sand like he’d never been out there before and everything was brand new and had to be inspected.  “Does that mean you’re staying over?”

“Only if you’ll have me…”

“Oh I suppose…”

“Have the boys come over for dinner too…”

“Sure thing.  I’ll call them in a bit… you know they’re all still in bed.”

“Oh to be young and able to sleep in…”

“Are you trying to tell me that as I get older I’m not going to be able to sleep in?  Cause that idea pretty much sucks.”

She laughed and I could imagine the look she was making while shaking her head at me, “I’m amazed that you’ve been able to get so many novels written… you sleep so much.”

“Just face it, I live the life of a rock star, Mom.”

“Uh huh… well make sure you’re a rock star who has clean sheets on her spare bed, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… you ask so much of me…”

An hour later my mom and I were sitting on my deck watching Vinnie play on the beach while we drank coffee and munched on a homemade coffee cake that she’d brought with her.  “So tell me what’s on your mind…”

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee.  One major hazard of having a psychic mother was that she often knew what was going on with me even before I did.  I looked at her, “Did you really have a new customer or did you just come up here to pick my brain?”

She smiled, “I did have a new customer and I also came up here to pick your brain.”

“Tell me about your customer first…” I said and put my coffee on the arm of the double Adirondack bench we were sharing.

“Well I met her at the farmer’s market a few weeks ago when I had a booth set up.  She came by and fell in love with one of the vases I had on sale.  She bought it and then ended up coming back a few hours later to see if I did special orders.  She wanted to do a whole theme to go along with the vase and gave me some ideas.  I did some sketches and by the time we parted ways I had a custom order to do for her.  And yes, since she lives so close to you I offered to drive the items up to her instead of shipping them.”

I smiled, “Did you take pictures?”  I’d recently bought her a digital camera so that she could take photos of all of the pottery she made.  My goal was to get her items listed online one day so that she could expand her business, but for the time being I was happy just getting to see pictures of her work.

“Of course… And if you teach me how to look at them on my camera you can even see them…”

I chuckled and put my head on her shoulder, “No problem…”

“Now… tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I don’t want to go to New York…”

“I know you don’t, Monkey.  But Christian’s going with you right?”

“Yeah…”

“Good…”

I nodded.  “I know it’ll be okay once I’m there, I’m just having my usual meltdown over the whole thing.”

“You’ll be wonderful as always.”  I nodded again and hugged her arm.  “Now tell me what’s really bothering you.”

“Kevin.”

“What about him?”

“He’s such a mystery…”  My mom started to say something and I cut her off, “And yes, I know I could just ask him all of the questions that I have about him but I can’t seem to do it…”  See? I had a touch of the psychic in me too.

She smiled and patted her hand on my knee, “You really like this guy, huh?”

“More than I want to admit.  Like I can almost see my future with him and just saying those words freaks me out.”

“Honey, seeing your future with someone isn’t always a bad thing.”

“Yeah well…”

“Yeah well nothing…”

“Just promise me something, okay?”

“Name it…” she said and leaned her head on top of mine.

“When you meet him tonight, if you have any visions or whatever, you have to tell me everything.”