In all of the years I’d dated and of all of the assorted men that I’d had in my life and my bed, I’d only taken one guy home to meet my mother and that was Christian.  Although I was confident that if anything, Kevin was not going to be coming out of the closet and joining the gay men in my life, introducing him to my mom was still a really big deal.  I tried as hard as possible to keep from freaking out while waiting for Kevin to show up but trying really didn’t help much.  I was nervous as all get out and although I kept it inside pretty well, as soon as the doorbell rang I nearly jumped out of my skin and raced toward the door with a grin on my face.

Christian laughed at me from the couch as I rushed by him and I flipped him off with a giggle and then literally slid on the wood floor into the door before opening it up.  I opened the door laughing with Christian on the couch cracking up at me, “Hi!”

Kevin was laughing, “Did you run into the door just now?”

I shrugged and gave him a nod, “Yeah so what?”

“So utterly sexy…” he said with a grin.

“I try my best…” I said and winked at him.  I winked.  See what he did to me?  I don’t think I’d ever seriously winked at anyone in my life and suddenly there I was winking at this beautiful man on my doorstep hoping that he’d hurry up and kiss me already.  “So hey, Heartthrob…” I said looking up at his fabulous face as he grinned down at me.

“Hey…” he replied with a smirk and pulled me by my belt loops so I was standing chest to chest with him.  He then leaned down and planted a kiss on me that made my knees weak.   Thankfully he had an arm around me to keep me from melting into a puddle at his feet and when we pulled away from the kiss we were both blushing something fierce.  “I missed you…”

“Yeah…” I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him.  “I missed you too…”

Christian spoke up from the couch, “She did… she was a total pain in the ass while you were gone… Walking around moping like someone shit in her cornflakes… all sad and depressed…”  He then did his Kellie Voice, “’God Christian, I miss Kevin sooooooo much!  He’s so sexy and I just can’t wait to see him again, blah blah blah…’”

“Oh my God I did not…” I said and groaned.  “I missed you, but I didn’t do any of that… he’s just being obnoxious.”

“Wait… Christian being obnoxious?” Kevin asked with a mock shocked face.  “Seriously?”

I giggled and led Kevin into the house shutting the door behind him, “He’s got your number, Chris…”

Christian rolled his eyes, “Oh bite me…”

“No thanks…” Kevin replied with a chuckle then looked at me and raised an eyebrow, “Although you… I’d bite you…” He dipped his mouth to my neck and gave me little love bites in a spot he knew drove me wild.  He whispered against my skin and made me shiver, “Anywhere you want…”

“Good Lord, get a room…” Christian said with a chuckle.  “Have you forgotten that your MOTHER is in the kitchen?”

“Nope…” I said and giggled as Kevin continued to kiss my neck. 

“Oh that’s right… Mama knows you’re a whore…” Christian said with a snort.

“You know what, Chris?” I said turning toward him.  Kevin wrapped his arms around my waist standing behind me and rested his chin on the top of my head.  “Any other time I’d be threatening to kick your ass right now.  But today I’m happy so I’m not gunna… My mama is here, Kevin’s here, my book drops in a week, and it’s a beautiful day… you can’t piss me off…”

“Stop the presses!  The Ice Queen is thawing out!  She’s melting, she’s mellllllllting!”  Christian laughed at his own joke and I smiled.  Whenever I was being a royal bitch he called me the Ice Queen and often said that what I needed in order to “thaw out” was a good lay. 

I started to reply but a voice drifted from the kitchen that stopped me, “Christian Derek Hamilton, if you want to eat tonight you’ll stop picking on my little girl right away…”

“Yes, Mama…” Christian called out to her and made a face at me.

“Busted!” I said and stuck my tongue out at him.  Kevin laughed at us and I nodded, “Yes, we really are this immature…”  I grabbed his hand, “So are you ready to meet The Mama?”

“Definitely…” he said and grinned. 

"She’s baking…" I told him with my own grin as I led him toward the kitchen.  Vinnie had already taken "his spot" on the floor near my mother’s feet where she was standing stirring a bowl of cookie dough and she would occasionally toss him a ball of dough. "Why is it that my dog gets to eat the dough but you never let me steal any?"

My mom looked over her shoulder and smiled, "Because he’s my grandson and I’m supposed to spoil him…"

"But I’m your baby… aren’t you supposed to spoil me too?"

"Not when you’re a parent I’m not…"

She washed her hands and then turned around to face us, "So we finally meet…"

"Mama this is Kevin… Kevin, my Short Mama…" I laughed. As soon as I’d passed my mom in height I’d been calling her Short Mama. I was a good half a foot taller than her and it cracked me up that she had to look up to me.

Kevin really was taller than she was and he smiled holding his hand out to her, "It’s nice to finally meet you, ma’am…"

My mom opened her arms and pulled Kevin into a hug, "The only one who shakes hands in this family is Vinnie…" When she pulled away from the hug she reached out and took his hand in hers and patted it, "And you call me Mama okay? None of that ma’am stuff…" I chuckled and Kevin looked at me with a smile which said, "I finally understand where you get your personality from." My mom led Kevin to the kitchen table and had him sit down as she stood in front of him, "Let me get a good look at you…" I stood by smiling and sneaking cookie dough from the bowl as my mom looked Kevin over. He looked a little nervous but when he saw me watching him with a smile on my face he relaxed. She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes, "They are stunning…" she said quietly and Kevin blushed.  "Beautiful face lines… let me see your hands, sweetie…" Kevin held out his hands and my mom turned them over and looked at his palms. I chuckled at the look on his face. I’d warned him that my mom was going to inspect him, but he hadn’t believed me. He did at that point though. My mom looked over his hands and ran her fingers gently over the lines in his skin, "Very nice… strong life line right here…" She pointed and Kevin looked trying to figure out what she was talking about. "Good solid lines you’ve got. Means you’ve got a strong presence. Very, very nice."

Kevin looked up at my mom and smiled, "Um… thank you…"

I popped a ball of dough in my mouth and then crossed the kitchen to sit on Kevin’s leg as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, "She’ll have to read your palm before she goes home tomorrow… she’s pretty freaky with the stuff she can see in your hands…"

My mom smiled and went back to her cookies, "It’s time for me to read yours again too, Monkey…"

I cringed at my childhood nickname and Kevin smiled from ear to ear, "Monkey?"

"That’s right…" my mom smiled.  "You’ve never told him that story sweetie?"

"No, Mama… and I was hoping that you wouldn’t," I sighed and Kevin laughed.

"Well then we’ll have to tell him later tonight…"

"I can’t wait…" Kevin smiled.

My mom looked at me over her shoulder, "Honey, once I finish this batch of cookies we’ll have to go down to the market to get the supplies for dinner…"

"Okey dokey…" I smiled and stood up reaching my hand out to Kevin. "Come on, Heartthrob… Mama doesn’t like anyone hovering when she bakes unless it’s Vinnie."

Kevin grinned, "Anything you say, Monkey…"