Part 38 -  Pissed Off Kevin

By the time we left 30 Rock, Kevin’s lawyer had spoken to the NBC lawyers and provided proof of Kevin and Kristen’s divorce.  A copy of the divorce paperwork was even sent over and then shown on a later segment of the show along with an on-air apology from Mark who I heard was not going to be on the air again anytime soon. 

Things were “better” but I was still frazzled and so was Kevin.  He was very quiet on the car ride from the studio to Jules’ office.  I wasn’t real sure what to say to him.  “Sorry your ex wife is a psycho…” didn’t exactly seem like what he needed to hear.  The truth was though, it had seriously freaked me out in the studio when Kevin had pulled away from me.  Not that I expected to be his focus at all times or anything, but seeing him so pissed off and so unaware of what else was going on scared me.  Since I met him Kevin had always been so focused.  So aware of everyone in the room and totally in tune with his surroundings.  He wasn’t someone who could walk into a room and miss details.  But in the studio that morning he’d been so focused on screaming at Mark that it was like I was barely there.  Granted, the reason he was so pissed at Mark had to do with me and I’m sure Kevin thought he was doing the manly thing sticking up for me.  It just felt weird, it was the first time I felt like Kevin didn’t see me. 

I watched him as he paced around Jules’ office talking on the phone.  He’d been on the phone with his lawyers, his brothers, his mother, AJ, and god knows who else.  Everyone who’d seen the interview was suddenly calling him.  I noticed that the light in his eyes seemed to have dimmed.  Those pretty shining green eyes of his were still gorgeous, but seemed darker.  The look on his face was the most serious I’d ever seen him. 

He finally ended the call and slid his cell phone back into his pocket.  He then stood looking out of the window at the city.  His arms were crossed over his chest and he didn’t make a sound.  I didn’t know if I should go to him or not but after a minute of watching him from behind I decided to listen to my heart.

I got up and wobbled over to him.  I then slid my arm around his waist and stood watching the city with him.  It took a minute, but he finally uncrossed his arms and wrapped one around my shoulders pulling me closer.  That, of course, made my eyes well up and my view of the city was a blurry one.  He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.  I turned toward him then and wrapped my other arm around him, hugging him tight.  My eyes were closed and I just stood there in his arms listening to him breathing.  I almost immediately felt better.  Like being able to touch him and have him touch me healed the wounds of the morning.

“I’m so sorry…” he finally said to me in a whisper.  “You shouldn’t have to deal with her… she’s my past, my problem.  I didn’t think she’d go after you… I’m so, so sorry.”

I shook my head looking up at him, “Oh, honey, don’t apologize for her.  I know that you would have done anything to avoid what happened today.  But just like me, you had no idea what that kid was going to pull on me while on the air.”  I shrugged, “We’ll deal with it.  The truth is out there now and frankly, she looks like an idiot.  People can see in black and white that she signed those divorce papers months ago proving that she’s lying.  It sucks, but we’ll be okay.”

He pressed his forehead to mine and I closed my eyes, “I’m sorry I lost it in the studio. I was just so pissed off.”

“I’ll admit, Pissed Off Kevin kind of scared me.”

He sighed, “I used to be Pissed Off Kevin a lot… it’s been a while though.”

I looked at him and smiled, “We’re going to be okay.  I love you too damn much to let one bad interview throw me.”

He smiled and it reached his eyes, “I’m a lucky man.”

I nodded, “Yeah, you are.”  We both laughed then and I hugged him again, “Let’s just forget about her for the moment and enjoy the rest of the day, okay?  Today isn’t about her, it’s about me.”

Kevin laughed and nodded, “That’s right… Today is your day.”

Jules came back into her office and smiled, “Now that’s what I want to see… you two were freaking me out when you were barely speaking earlier.”

“We’re better…” I said with a smile and kept my arms around Kevin, not quite ready to let him go yet.

“Splendid,” she said then sat down at her desk.  “I sent Christian downstairs to grab us lunch.  Meanwhile we need to make a game plan for the rest of the week now that the former Mrs. Richardson has decided to stir things up.”

I made a grumpy face, “Can’t we just ignore her?”

“Well that’s the plan… you avoid talking directly about her if at all possible.  Change the focus from her to you and Kevin.  Talk about being happy and in love and all of that nauseating stuff,” she said with a grin.

I hobbled my way back to the couch and Kevin followed to sit by my side.  “I can do that.”

“If anyone presses and just won’t let you change the subject then you have to be very careful.”

“In other words I can’t call her by her nickname?” I asked with a grin.

Jules looked at me in confusion, “What’s her nickname?”

Kevin chuckled, “Kel likes to call her Stupid Whore.”

Jules laughed and shook her head, “Um yeah… please don’t call her that to anyone who isn’t in this room.”

“Damn…” I teased. 

“If you have to talk about her, keep it simple.  Just fall back on the truth… you’ve never met her, you don’t know why she’s saying the things she’s saying, you’re more focused on your relationship with Kevin and your book release.  Absolutely no name calling, even something as little as saying she’s lying could get you in trouble.”

“Even though she is lying…” I groaned.

“Yep.  You can say things like ‘The truth as I know it from my side of things is blah blah blah…’ But don’t say ‘She’s a bloody liar.’”

I couldn’t help but giggle, Jules was known for her bluntness and I could tell it was driving her nuts that we couldn’t badmouth Kristen in public.  “So am I in trouble for saying that she lied this morning?  I did say that didn’t I?”

Kevin nodded, “I think you did, but I wouldn’t worry about that, right Jules?”

“Right… that was a reaction to a surprise attack.  But from here on out, you have to be careful. Also, no talking about that wanker at NBC who pulled this whole stunt on you. Rumor has it he’s in a lot of trouble right about now.”

I nodded and looked down at the contraption on my foot.  I totally zoned out thinking about how in the world I was going to go to a ball wearing the big ugly brace.  I imagined Christian gluing rhinestones to it or something hopelessly tacky and it made me smile.  I was so lucky to have such great people in my life. 

“Hello?  Earth to Kellie…” Jules said and I snapped out of my trance with a blush.  She smiled, “You with us?”

“Uh huh…” I said and chuckled.  Kevin grabbed my hand and kissed it then held it in his own.

“Welcome back…”

I stuck my tongue out at her, “Oh bite me… my mind wandered, that’s what writers do.”

“And what were you thinking of while Kevin and I were discussing your career without you?”

“Rhinestones.”

Kevin laughed and looked at Jules with a shrug, “I’ve found that if you ask her what’s on her mind you’re bound to get some really interesting answers.”

Jules nodded, “I’m used to it.”  She looked at me, “I know it’s been a crazy morning and as soon as Christian comes back we’ll take a proper break to regroup before the book signing.  Have I mentioned how brilliantly you handled things this morning?”  I groaned but she smiled, “Seriously, kitten… you were great.”

“Kitten? Where the fuck did that come from?” I asked laughing.

“I have no idea, I’ve started channeling my mother since I gave birth… it happens at random moments more often than I’d like to admit.”

“I love you dearly, but please don’t start calling me kitten.”

“I don’t plan on it… Maybe pumpkin, but not kitten.”

“Pumpkin is better…” I said and smiled. 

Sadly ignoring Kristen wasn’t as easy as we hoped it would be.  Everywhere I went, including the book signing at Virgin I was faced with questions about Kevin’s evil ex.  What was supposed to be a five minute radio interview over the phone turned into ten minutes of me trying to politely change the subject and the dj getting fed up with me because I was “too nice” and wouldn’t spill any dirt.  I simply told her that there wasn’t any dirt to share and she then quickly ended the interview.  By the time we got back to Josef’s house that night we were all exhausted and I was starting to think that no one wanted to hear jack about my actual book.

I promptly plopped down on the couch and took my ankle brace off as soon as we were in the house.  I propped my ankle up and without even having to ask him, Kevin soon showed up with fresh ice to put on my swollen limb.  I thanked him and he sat down on the couch with me so that his lap could be the pillow for my head.  His fingers combed through my hair and my eyes closed at the feeling.

“Tomorrow’s going to be better…” he told me quietly.

“I hope so.”

“It will… as long as Kristen keeps her damn mouth shut, people are going to forget all about it.”

“And if she doesn’t keep her damn mouth shut?”

“Then we order a hit on her…” Kevin teased.

I chuckled and looked up at him, “Can’t I just kick her ass myself?  Beat her up with my crutches?  Ordering a hit takes all of the fun out of it.”

He laughed, “True… I’m sure AJ and Christian would love to join in too.”

Kevin and I had both spoken on the phone with AJ throughout the day and he was beside himself with anger about Kristen and her antics.  It was humorous to say the least.  “I can’t wait for him to get here… he always makes me giggle.”

Kevin smiled, “One more day and he’ll be here.”

I looked up at the ceiling, “I suppose I should be happy that I’m getting so much press.  Even though people aren’t talking about my book, my name is out there and people who have never heard of me are more likely to remember my name when they see my books now.”

“Very true… Sometimes bad publicity is good publicity.  Not to say that this is the bad kind… at least not on our end.”

I nodded, “I know what you mean.  Christian said the number of people searching for me on Google had tripled earlier this afternoon. That’s gotta count for something right?”

Kevin looked down at me and smiled, his fingers still playing in my curls, “Definitely.”

“Cool,” I said and closed my eyes again.  I had almost drifted off to sleep when my phone rang startling both of us.  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small black phone.  It was Jules.  “Do you miss me already?” I teased with a giggle.

“I wish,” she said with a sigh.  “I just turned on Entertainment Tonight while I was making dinner for Miles.  They’re covering the Kristen story in ten minutes.”

“Fucking hell…” I said with a groan as I sat up and the ice pack fell from my ankle.  I reached for the remote to the tv and turned it on.  “What channel?”  She told me and I flipped over to the correct one before looking at Kevin.  “They’re covering Kristen’s story on ET tonight.”

“Damn it…” he said and immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket.  He opened it up and I assumed he was calling his lawyer or publicist for the 200th time that day.

“Did anyone from ET contact us today?” I asked Jules.  “Wouldn’t you think they’d want to hear our side?”

“One would think… they have been turning pretty tabloid lately though.  I can see them wanting to spread it out.  Talk to Kristen today and getting a good rumor going then contact you and Kevin tomorrow.”

“Seriously, what else could she say? We already proved that the divorce was legitimate and everything that she said was a lie.  What else is there?”

“Who knows? She’ll probably say that the divorce documents were fakes or some other rubbish.”

I could hear Miles in the background giggling at something and I smiled, “What is he doing?”

“He’s dumped his whole bowl of cheerios over his head.  Heaps of fun…”

I laughed, “So damn cute… take pictures.”

“I will.”  She paused, “Shit… the office is calling, they’ve probably heard about ET too.  I’ll call you back okay?”

“Sure, we’ll be here.”  When I hung up I noticed that Kevin had hung up his phone as well.  I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed it.  He smiled, albeit weakly, and squeezed back while we both stared at the screen and waited for the latest chapter in the Kristen saga to unfold.