- Text Size +

Part 45 – The Sphere

My passing thought about maybe possibly going down to the World Trade Center site quickly turned into a big fat obsession.  As soon as I’d woken up for the second time that day, going to the site was on my mind and I figured I needed to do it right away or I might chicken out.  AJ, Christian, and Kevin all came along with me too, of course, because there was no way I was going to do it alone.  Since AJ hadn’t known how Sean died we filled him in and he was glad to join us on our quest.

Instead of baking Snickerdoodles to take, we stopped at a bakery near Josef’s place and bought some instead.  It was one of those bakery’s that made everything fresh every day so it wasn’t like I was buying a box of cookies from the grocery store or anything like that.  Not to say that grocery store cookies wouldn’t have been okay… I just really wanted something fresh and a little more personal.

By the time the car service had dropped us off at Battery Park I was shaking from head to toe.  I hadn’t started crying yet but could tell it wasn’t going to be long.  We’d decided that starting out at the park would be a good idea because if we’d pulled up nearby the site I might have panicked and refused to get out of the car. 

Being at Battery Park was weird.  I’d met Sean there many times for lunch when he’d been working in the tower.  We’d sit under a tree eating lunch and watching all of the tourists with their foam Statue of Liberty crowns on their heads after taking the ferry back from the island.

There were still tourists in foam crowns, and people in suits having lunch in the park, but there was also something different there as well.  The statue called The Sphere that had for thirty years sat in between towers one and two had been moved to Battery Park after having survived the attacks with only holes and dents in its surface.  There was also an eternal flame that had been lit for the lives lost on 9/11 that had been burning since the one year anniversary of the attacks. 

A small group of tourists were at the base of The Sphere, some taking photos, others leaving flowers or just looking on in awe.  We quietly joined the crowd and I held both Kevin and Christian’s hands while AJ became the official keeper of the cookie box.

Once close enough to see the plaque near the statue I looked down and read the words to myself.

For three decades, this sculpture stood in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Entitled "The Sphere", it was conceived by artist Fritz Koenig as a symbol of world peace. It was damaged during the tragic events of September 11, 2001, but endures as an icon of hope and the indestructible spirit of this country. The Sphere was placed here on March 11, 2002 as a temporary memorial to all who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center.  This eternal flame was ignited on September 11, 2002 in honor of all those that were lost. Their spirit and sacrifice will never be forgotten.

AJ let out a sad chuckle after reading the plaque, “That’s kind of awesome that it was supposed to stand for world peace and it survived.”

Christian nodded, “Hell yeah… it was like she said a big fat ‘fuck you’ to the terrorists.  ‘You can beat me but I’m staying right here.’”

That made me smile even though I felt like I couldn’t possibly talk because of the gigantic lump in my throat.  I could remember seeing The Sphere when it was still in its original spot.  All shiny and bronze, surrounded by a fountain; it was 25 feet tall and amazing. To see it all beat up from being hit by tons of debris really brought home both how strong the statue had been, but also how it would’ve been impossible for most people to survive the collapse.  When they’d uncovered The Sphere at Ground Zero after the attacks they found inside of the statue there were papers from WTC offices, a Bible, and even a seat from one of the airplanes that had hit the towers.

I couldn’t help but think about the force it took to bend steel and puncture it with holes and I shuttered at the thought of human beings having to feel that force.  I shivered and closed my eyes.  I prayed that everyone who died that day hadn’t had to feel the pain.  That somehow they were spared at the last minute and just went to a better place without enduring any more horror.

Kevin let go of my hand and pulled me into a hug.  I buried my face against his neck and kept my eyes closed tight.  I forced myself to think of good memories of Sean instead of imagining what his death had been like.  

Christian must have been doing the same because when he began talking, it was about Sean.  “I remember when Sean first moved here for school.  He’d only ever been to the city once or twice and it was still this huge crazy place to him.  He was like a tourist on crack that first summer he was here before he started at NYU.  Every single day he’d wake me and Kel up with a plan of what he wanted to go see that day.”  I smiled and turned my head so it was still resting against Kevin’s chest but I could see Christian too.  “The first few days I got so annoyed when he’d hand over the day’s schedule of events because I’d already done all of the tourist stuff in town and didn’t want to do them again.”  He smiled and nodded at me, “But do you remember what happened?”

I nodded and whispered around the lump in my throat, “You had so much fun…”

“I learned more about this city that summer than I had all my life.  We had so much fun doing touristy things and then once we got through those we started doing all of these crazy things like having dinner at some restaurant that someone gave us a flyer to on the subway, or going on a scavenger hunt that took us throughout the city.”

“It was a great summer…”

“I still have a picture of the three of us here in this park with our Statue of Liberty crowns on…” he said and chuckled.

“Me too… Vinnie ate half of my crown when he was a puppy,” I giggled.  “I saved the other half though.”

 “I always wondered what happened to that crown, but never asked…” Kevin said with a chuckle.  The chewed up crown was attached to the frame that the picture of us was in and it sat in my office at home.

“I was so mad at him when he first did it…” I said and laughed.  “I yelled and cried and then he looked so pitiful that I hugged him and cried some more.”

“Poor dog…” Christian giggled.  “He had no idea what he was getting into when you became his mom.”

We all laughed and I rolled my eyes at him, “Whatever…”  We stood there for a while longer just looking at The Sphere and taking everything in.  Then when I felt like maybe I was ready to move toward the site I took a deep breath and looked up at Kevin, “Okay… let’s do this.”

He smiled down at me before kissing my forehead, “Let’s do it.”